'So, what are you doing for the summer?' A Piranha guide on how to spend your parents' money this break

That question. That godforsaken question. All I can hear is that question. Over and over again in different tinges of a south Dublin accent. It seems like everyone who’s anyone is out planning wild, extravagant escapades this summer with their troop of super best friends, destined to have quite possibly the greatest time that a human being has ever had in the history of recorded civilisation, and they really want to tell you about it.

But are you doing? Feck all, that’s what, because you couldn’t organise a fuck in a monkey whorehouse with a fist full of bananas. Well, my friend, today’s your lucky day because we here at the Piranha have compiled a list of potential summer ‘experiences’ you can spend all your parents’ hardearned money on:

J1: If you’re from the country, yer da definitely knows a fella on a construction site in New York who can sort ye out. And if you’re from the southside, I’m sure your father has a business partner out in San Francisco who would be more than happy to repay the favour he did for him back in 2008 and let you potter around the company headquarters for a few months before you jet down to Cancún. No need to worry about any that visa stuff, sure your uncle’s been over there for years and he has still hasn’t been caught