Beyond Reach - Reflections Literary & Art Folio 2020

MESSAGE FROM THE

Living has never felt so vigorous. A day has its own color, each unique of a hue as it ends and starts yet another tomorrow. Every day is appreciated with all its beauty and all its flaws but have you ever appreciated all of the nothingness it carries in between?

In the hurricane events of everyday, there are far too much emotions to feel. Amidst the chaos, we are constantly being pulled from the magnetic poles of the positives and negatives that for a moment, we stay floating in the middle of it all. Staying indifferent, thinking no thoughts, and just reveling in the moment of weightlessness, this is where we empty our heads and break free; fly away from reality temporarily.

Extending the deepest gratitude to those who contributed and shared their stories for the making of this folio, it is our honor to present to you all the Reflections 2020. Get off the ground, float away to the clouds, and go beyond reach.

Freeandweightless.Now,starttoexplorebeyondthereaches.

Pieces of ourselves wander around the galaxies while waiting for its perfect timing to descend and complete its designated puzzle. As arms were stretched to strive for what’s beyond reach, we drive into fleeting moments and series of stories being furnished with life and beauty, seasoned with warmth and mystery. Days of mind weightlessness will always come unannounced. Yet, discover horizons and let the frothiness of thoughts be equal to the weightiness of dreams.

Breathe,takealeap,andreachthethingsyouthoughtisbeyondreach.

Reflection is the annual folio of The Trailblazer Publication. All published articles of the individual authors do not necessarily reflect the position of the Editorial Board. All articles are edited for reasons of space, clarity and ethics.

You may send your articles for publication to: The Trailblazer Publication Door #1, Bldg. 27 University of Science and Technology of Southern Philippines Cagayan de Oro City

No part of this publication maybe produced or recopied in part or in full without a written consent from the writer(s) or the artist(s).

The Trailblazer

Reflections 2020

Chairpersons

MESSAGE FROM THE Chairpersons

“Death is inevitable. Change is unstoppable. Life is irreversible.”

2020 has only just began. And as I write this message, I couldn’t help but feel scared with all the mishaps going on.

I think it’s a good thing to be scared. With being scared, you become more aware of the occurrences that are lurking behind the shadows.

I hope that in the days to come, we at least become more kind; to others, to nature, and to ourselves. I hope we won’t just focus on the materialistic facade of life but delve deeper into its substance.

“There is beauty in emptiness.”

It may sound strange, but by acknowledging this hollow space within ourselves we get a grasp on what’s happening with our lives. There’s a beauty in emptiness which at times could be hilarious, disastrous or even momentous and it is only waiting to be discovered and heard. All it takes is a heart that knows how to listen and a mind full of wisdom to understand and see things out of its ordinary realm.

As you explore life and experience scenarios full of emptiness, be reminded that thunderstorms are created in order for a flower to bloom. There would be times where you may not understand things and it may make you feel numb or empty, but be hopeful that in time you’ll understand things. Let this folio be a reminder of the beauty made out of emptiness and fleeting moments. A symbol of hope as you understand and find meaning in nothingness—a Eureka moment.

Take a moment to look back. The world is a cruel place but never forget its delicate beauty.

Stay human.

The Trailblazer

RELISHING FREEDOM

Thessa Poligrates

You will lose, fighter All because you have forgotten How things were supposed to be enjoyed And how you were supposed to find yourself

Permitting your mind to heal, Step and swim into the ocean of thoughts where you have once grown Into the pool of realizations awaiting you You see, a fighter needs to rest too

Breathe Think Then start again Allowing yourself to be weightless Relishing your moment of freedom

I WAS Ej Genson

I was once walking on the same street Forgotten and weary and not thinking straight

Reflecting where my decisions went wrong And asking “Why did you leave me all alone?”

I was once driving on the same highway I felt your warmth arms wrapped around me

My frozen heart melted along the way Tears falling like rain with pain and agony.

I was once lying on the same bed Unconsciously staring at the same ceiling Replaying all the memories we had It doesn’t matter if it’s good or bad

I was once dreaming the same dream You and I were on the sane team Then you realized that I’m not enough So you woke up and make your own path.

STRANDS

Tristan Lorenzo M. Sabido

All paths lead to one Every river coincides An inevitable singularity When everything confides

We all want to forget Just entertaining ourselves But life has its own way The truth itself always unveils

Is that all there is to it? Experience then to fade? Each journey didn’t matter We are all just a shade

Maybe knowing that truth Makes us value humanity To value another human To love unconditionally

Because facing what’s ahead

As souls and dreams are being rend Has never been so exciting When you hold somebody ‘til the end

ART OF FRIENDSHIP

Gene Floro Garay

Great things come naturally with the right set of people

Perfect spot, pace, and the sequence of sub events

It all takes place in one setting And it takes you all in Sweeps you away with the waves of joy, pure laughter, and fun

The day was made for this and I willingly gave myself in The moment I did, I was floating in timeless galaxies Feelings unfathomable at moments, Thankful I did and it ended up becoming a memory

A fragment of my past Now I move to seize another day With new great stories to tell To the people I’ll meet one day

BACKPACK

Alain Redondo

As I travel the road not having rage But the aim to escape my cage; This once called rebel Is now in age, Who travels for avoidance, Dodging discordance and quarrel’s page. Accompanied by a vessel for things to carry,

An owned piece who sees his point of story, It contained his matters in a hurry, A companion who’ve witnessed all his venture’s rally.

The backpack he conveys, The buddy who’ve experience pain with him,

It was his bearer of memories, Both happiness and sadness from his family

It can tell how he was misunderstood As before he was part of his kin’s neighborhood.

Once again his buddy is fully loaded, Opinions may fly again, It may call him as hard headed, He wanna give all a goodbye, He knows what he can gain, He’s in his age to choose silence beyond this highness of madness.

THE ART WITHIN ME

Jessa May M. Entroliso

Singing, dancing, drawing, sports Never really seems tantalizing I see myself as a plain small leaf, Surrounded by bouquets of blooming flowers Yet, in simplicity, I found the art within me.

The smell of paper excites me The mesmerizing sound of a flipping book, Tingles my inner being I have been caught in the never ending carousel, Called love. The love of reading.

Reading inspires me to discover world unbeknownst to me, To solve the tangled mysteries of life, To open up to new possibilities, To go beyond, To where I want to be

BRIDGE

Pril You Good place Favourite food Stealing Glances Uncovered Stories Good Companion Lily Her name Beside you Genuine Smile

Your eyes full of love Me Envy

Across the two of you Im happy to help you find your love My love.

SEA OF THOUGHTS

Arnel James Suprito

Waves came crashing by the shore, My mind is wandering like a lost soul. Thinking endlessly, thinking deeply, Like the vast sea with thoughts of misery, Where everything is as wide as the eyes could see.

My thoughts are carried away, you see? The sound of the waves rang louder than my thoughts, The dreams I’ve thought were also the dreams I lost.

Floating like a ship in the sea, Wondering where these waves could take me.

Too afraid to dive and see Where this mind of mine could ever be, As I swam across this empty space With the waters covering my entire exis tence.

How I wish I could foresee, What lies beyond this dark and empty sea.

BORDERS

Trisha Grace

An imaginary line, To connect our currents, Spellbound waves, That connects our movements,

A dwindle of silence, Two voices, Whispering through the wind, Secrets we can only share with the moon,

Eyes became our windows, Books became our doors, Hands are patterned like a map, Will it take us somewhere?

Tonight, We can only count these stars, By midnight, We could pretend the universe is ours,

A borderline beneath our feet, For boundaries we can never breach, Whirling wonders we like to keep, Shall we call it beyond reach?

GALAXY

Beyond the cosmos

I always have an ‘almost’ Of you and I, Of wishes that you’d be mine.

ANATHEMA

I have colours and whites Filled with wishes that you could paint the skies

Just like the beauty I once knew That turned to a curse I couldn’t go through

GRAVITY

We together flew, But I alone fell for you. I don’t know where it went wrong I was just left here still falling all along.

STARS AND SCARS

scars and stars, of poets and poems, of thousands and of hundreds of love and of hatred

scars and stars, made visions and illusions of sufferings and of ambitions of you and me in this selfish situation

scars and stars, with misery and mystery, beneath was a wonderful story of how it ended the chapter of you and me.

IDLY, A MUTINEER

Sophie the vampire cat

Humanity was engrossed on matters that didn’t matter.

And on the day she was born, nobody even looked nor stared. She cried in agony, not knowing what she might soon shatter. Though it was good for her, set a family who truly cared.

Words slip from her teensy mouth with a catchy smile. And soon she walked the earth, with tiny little feet. She looked at the mirror, noticed she’s gone a mile. Now it’s time to grow, childhood she wished to repeat.

A paragraph she dreamt to be, but she felt so incomplete.

A mere sentence she was, simply losing track, both time and path. Arms were stretching wide, to reach hopes but received lies and mistreat. Reduced to a phrase, execute and distract to hide the wrath.

She kept tumbling; looked at the world and felt fear so austere. She was judged, tired and then decided; idly, a mutineer.

BUTTERFLY BIND

Jerlyn Onyot

I’m a tired butterfly, caught inside a broken mind. Dying but refuse to fade its color, in this world full of get over.

As darkness comes, I tend to see a hearts that pumps. Captivated by words, and, fixing my world.

It’s you, and you, who keeps my galaxy new. And I know, it’s you, who will keep my broken wings hue.

My broken wings and broken mind, that will now be a butterfly bind. Unfixed me with darkness, and I’ll guide you with kindness.

SWEET DAYS OF PARADISE

Kael

BROKEN HOME

Julia Louise Jaylo

There again, guided by the bitter scent of the night, she came back in her definition of home; a narrative of frantic noises and on loop arguments, and crashing beer bottles, and microwave heated resentment, and a house smells like burning promise and decaying love, like a nest of two Agapornis breaking vows. There she is again, running towards the apocalypse and no one sees. Ready for the whole world’s debris crash in front of her as the cloud painted hues of black and torment meant for her.

This is just another mayhem she supposed not to live, but unlike other princesses, she’s a messed-up girl looking over the sea of monsters in a kingdom of desolation; not wanted to be found, not wanted to be saved, just wanted to be fetched by the black parade of grim reapers encased in failures, frustration and pain, into the chasm of darkness, and she’ll die alone. alone.

HANGING THRU

TIME DA

Two hearts Lie within reach Always there; But never reaching

She speaks not With words He listens not With ears

He glances not With eyes She heeds not With sense

She expresses not With gestures He sees not With sight Unspoken Yet conceding

They just know; Belittlingly unknowing The cards at play Is themselves at heart.

IF ONLY I WAS THE MOON

Ann Marie Zoila Aranas

afar-- imperfect-but accepted, adored, still

If only I was the moon, brilliant-- mysterious-and powerful, I would’ve ruled the wild waves

But I’m nowhere near the light and you’re nothing but untrue So let me close my eyes tomorrow I’d wake up in a different book, without you

“I’m not the moon--your moon. I know I’m just another meteorite that fell for you.”

SWEET

A LOVE BEYOND REACH

Jeraiza Molina

He loved me too early. I loved him too late.

But he loved me too short. And I loved him too long.

Oh he loved me too little. How I loved him too great.

SWEET DAYS OF PARADISE

Love must be answered If it is to ever thrive.

I'm afraid mine will never Even take root."

IF ONLY I WAS BRAVE ENOUGH TO STAND UNDER YOUR STORMS

Julia Louise Jaylo

let me visit your sanctuary made of dying stars and withered flowers from unfamiliar graves with the fragmented bones of your shattered dreams. let me jump onto your sinkholes and bathe thyself with your tears so sharp and lie under the cosmic void bare naked as I crash you out from every sad poem you wrote. let me dance you away from the hurricanes and thunderstorms of death wishes and haunted regrets. but, I cannot, and nothing will ever breath you out from ashes back to life; then again, my love, this is just another wish to have saved you and it’s too late now.

MOST LOVED RING

Ianberg Olango

Lend me your ring. The one that you loved wearing. The one that bears your secrets.

Lend me your ring. The one that felt your tears, as you wipe them away. The one that felt your breath, as you cover your mouth whenever you laugh.

Lend me your ring, and tell me stories your ring has witnessed. Show me the places your ring has seen. Introduce me to people your ring has already met. Maybe in that way, your ring and I can have in common. Something --- someone that you love being with.

UNKNOWN

Rissa Trazo

Mora tag formula sa algebra Dali ra nato gakakita ang value sa usag-usa Mora bag addition of vector identities A plus B is equal to B plus A.

Pero gipakli sa hangin ang atong libro Niabot ta sa mas lisod nga equation Kung aha nadungagan tag isa pa ka variable Nga pati ang scientific calculator galisod nag solve.

Ang sauna nga balanced equation Karon lisod na sabton Kay daghan na og unknown Nga kinahanglan og taas nga solusyon.

Nabag-o ang tanan sulod sa atong libro Nga mora bag tanan gina trial and error nalang

E-try kung makaya og sulbad Perog dili, muondang na lang.

Pwedi constant na lang ko? Para bisan aha nga problem solving naa ko Para bisag aha nga equation Dili gihapon mabag-o akong value.

Gitry na nakog manipulate ang equation Aron makamugna og alternatibo nga solusyon

Pero kulang pa diay gihapon ang gihatag Kay siya na ang naay value, og ako na ang unknown.

21ST CENTURY WOMAN

Trisha Grace

She lived by stories from old poets, She looks at photographs as it draws moving figures through her lenses, Moments she can’t even imagine it happened, How will she know if all it was real?

When the secrets of the past are hidden beneath her eyes,

Every night she is haunted by whispers, Echoing from years ago, Familiar places she can’t even recall, Until she was awakened by a thunderstorm, As she stood by the mirror, She sees a mere reflection of herself from different times,

A child who dreams to catch fireflies but afraid of the dark,

A girl who love to write letters for words she left unsaid,

A lady with a barricaded heart of gold, But vulnerable in the eyes of her one true lover, And a woman who stood still and shaped through times,

The storm was over, seasons may pass her by, As she breaths the air of its world, She changes into another clothing of a lifetime, Sculpted for the future, Someday, She’s going to be every page of her own history book.

PANTASYA

Ej Pontillas

Aklat binuklat, Binasa ang dahilan kung bakit ang asi’y ma—alat Binasa mga iba’t—ibang mga kwento’t alamat. Mga kwentong napupuno ng mysteryo’t mga agimat Na sa ‘king munting isipa’y nag pa—mulat.

Mata pinikit, isapan na buksan, Sa mundong ito’y nawala na nga ng tuluyan. Napadpad sa lugar na tila ‘di ma wari kung saan, Napadpad pala sa lugar na sana’y ating tagpuan.

Makikita sa bawat pahina, Storyang binuo ko para sa’ ting dal’wa Storyang malinaw ngunit ‘di mabasa.

Tinignan kahit malabo, Pinagmasdan ang mabilis na pag ikot ng mundo,

Pinagmasdan ang malamig na sikat ng araw Pinagmasdan kahit hindi malinaw Sa dako roo’y may mga ala-alang na tanaw, Biglang na—alala ang nakalimutang ikaw.

Umihip ng malakas ang mainit na hangin Ako’y napa—pikit at sa paligid napa—tingin Takbo ng oras ay biglang tumulin Unti—unting naglaho ang minsa’y aking pinalangin.

Sa mundong ito ng pantasya, Na nababalutan ng iba’t—ibang anyo’t salamangka,

Isa lang ang ako’y sigurado, Na kahit pa sa mundong ito, Hinding—hindi tayo magtatagpo

At ang aking minsang hinangad na kwento Ay malabong mabuo.

UNIVERSE

e

you are a lost soul searching for your lost song you thought you already felt everything but there are still feelings ready to be felt

you easily give out compliments and i want to tell you, you deserve one too you are universe you are not just a nobody you demand to be sought out you are beyond reach for an ordinary soul you deserve to be wondered you must be discovered your deepest secrets your black holes your parallel universe your dying stars your burning sun

you are complicated like the Big Bang but you are also an open book as open as the sky at night and only few people will be able to read you allow them for they too are searching for universe

you are iridescent an adjective a luminuos color that changes when seen from different angles sooner you’ll find out that inside that weary soul, that tired body, and that aching heart, you carry a universe inside. and i hope you search for something beyond reach search for universe in people you meet

IViva la Vida

Solitude. Silence. Sorrow.

What I thought to be solace in my own embrace turned out to be nothing but a false hope- an illusion of a safehaven that I trapped myself in. I created no escape.

I created this void so vast I have forgotten my own beginning. And now I will myself to create an ending.

IWTKMBIDWMFAFTS. SIL, B.

(I want to kill myself but I don't want my friends and family to suffer. So I live, But.)

I choke in my own words, bleed in my battle scars, and die a painful living everyday.

I... I? no. No. NO. I finally came to realize that it wasn't I. It wasn't I all this time along. It was this person. That person who was created. By whom? Friends. Family. Herself.

She created her own being just as how she was seen in the eyes of those who love her. It was through that love. The love that sparked and warmed her heart. The love that kindled and flamed her soul. The love that roared and consumed her being.

I created a fake to escape that pain. I created a fake and it was her. And we were both nothing but a complete failure.

IWTKMBIDWMFAFTS. SIL, B. (I want to know myself but I don't want my friends and family to suffer. So I leave, But)

The ending we created was quite the familiar irony. Solitude. Silence. Sorrow. Alone, quiet, painful. But free.

And now, together, we create a new start. A brand new beginning, I and she.

IINGATAN PERO SASAKTAN

LANG DIN NAMAN

Cez Nicole P. Bazar

Labis mo akong minahal Iningatang kay tagal Araw-araw kong nadarama ang Walang sawa mong pag-aaruga.

Bawat pagsikat ng araw Ikaw ang una kong natatanaw Laging maganda ang umaga ‘Pag ikaw ang kasama sa tuwina.

Ang mga kamay mong malambot Sa bawat haplos tila langit ay abot Iyon ang mga sandaling ‘di ko malilimutan Pakiramdam ko’y ako ang iyong tunay na kayamanan.

Akala ko’y lahat ay pangmatagalan Ngnuit ako pala’y iyo lamang ginawang aliw at kasiyahan Lahat ng matatamis mong salita’y naglahong tuluyan Ako’y ginawang kawawa, iyong ginamit, pinaglaruan.

Ang pag-ibig mo sa aki’y ginawa mong sugal Ako’y iyong pinaikot-ikot, isa kang hangal! Ako’y iyong iningatan para lamang saktan Pinakain para lamang pagkakitaan.

Ngayon ‘wag mong gawing umiyak sa harap ko Ang pagkamatay ko ang iyong pagkatalo Hindi lamang sa iyo umiikot ang mundo Dahil minsan mas hayop pa sa hayop ang tao.

(Isang tula ng manok sa sabungero niyang amo.)

DROWNED emjee

TALAPUNGO

Rissa Trazo

Ako diay si Mhang Hatagay. Second year, irregular.

7:30 sa buntag amoang exam mao tong 5:30 pa lang, naa nako sa eskwelahan aron ako ang pinakasayo (bahalag bugo basta hilas). Pag-abot nako sa among room na kurat ko kay naa pay mas sayo nako, ang mga mas hilason pa sako mga know-it-all kaayo mura rabag wala na zero sa Calculus sauna. Bisan paman sakong nakita, wala nako sila pansina kay basin mawala akong gitun-an (kung naa man galing). Sa pila ka oras nga nilabay wala nako kasabot sakong gibati, mura nakog kalibangon nga kakuyapon ug hinulat nga magsugod mi.

:Kadugay ba kaayo ni Sir uy mura mag tua sa Mars magpuyo.

Niabot rajud sya, si Sir Batumbakal, ang instructor sa amoang eskwelahan nga gikahadlukan sa tanan kay lagi bisan dili gasulod kusog kaayo mamagsak unya sige pagyud ug panawag og onsa daw among natun-an atong last meeting bisan ug wala syay ge discuss.

Sir: Okay class, prepare 3 pesos for the booklet and please, no cheating!

Mukuha na onta ko og kwarta para ibayad pero ambot ba ni akong uban classmate buraot man kaayo.

Seygeyg: Mhang pwedi ko manghulam og tres kay wala koy sukli?

Hay nitukar nasad ni siya wala pa gani bayare iyang 13 nga gipalit og koykoy gahapon.

: oh naa ra!

Seygeyg: Salamat kaayo! Pwedi ko manghulam og bolpen? Dili man gud muagi akoa.

Mura na gyud nig walay mama si Seygeyg ay.

:Oh naa ra, basin wala sad kay calculator ba?

Seygeyg: Hala nabilin gyud ay, pwedi makahulam sa imong isa?

Mura nagyud nig wala ni eskwela si Seygeyg kulang nalang pati balon akoy muhatag. Wala ko kasabot ug malipay paba ko aning bayhana. Mura gyud og anak ni Daniela hilig manguha ug dili iyaha.Pero bisan naulit ko, nanagad gihapon ko kay basin ingnon nasad

ko aning hilason nga dili raba ta gwapa.

Sir: Onsa mana Miss Mhang Hatagay ug Miss Seygeyg Panghulam? Kasaba ba ninyo mura rabag naa moy answer onya dugay pa gyud mo makasugod dira!

Hala halos nami tunlon ni Sir sa iyang kaulit pero maayo gyud mutagna si Sir nga wala mi answer.

Sa pagsugod namog answer pinakauna pa lang nga pangutana gusto na nako muuli tungod sa kalisod unya "strictly no erasure" pa gyud.

Sir: Miss Hatagay unsa manang sigeg hinuktok nimo dira? Maka tubag ka ana?

Si Sir uy ikaw kahay basa ani imong mga gibutang diri Sir ganahan bakag answer ani. Labot ba nakog unsay ngalan sa imong iring uy nga engineering man ko diman ko veterinarian.

Sir: Okay 20 minutes left.

Patay na gyud ko ani wala pakoy nasulat bisan isa, kahilantanon nakog balik-balik og basa sa pangutana.

Sir: 5 minutes left, finalize your answers.

Patay na gyud ko aning mama mahimo nasad tog dragon aha na kaha ko muoli ani inig kahuman wala gyud koy nasabtan. Kay maulaw ko nga husgahan nasad kos mga classmate nako nga mga hilason nag buot-buot nalang gyud ko og answer. Bahala nani, bahala na gyud.

Sir: Time is up! Pass your papers. Late papers will not be accepted.

Dipa gyud unta ko mupasa pero si Sir mura na gyud ko niyag gakaunon sa pagsipat niya nako.

Seygeyg: Mhang, pilay answer nimo atong naa sa likod? 350 seconds ba?

:Asay likod?

Diri sa diay ko taman musaysay sa akong kaagi kay kamulo pakog lihok sa among petition para Summer Class tungod sa panghitabo nga wala ko kabalo nga naa pa diay likod ang test paper.

WISHFUL THINKING WISHFUL THINKING

Lune Solitaire

these are five of the things i wish to do with you:

i. i want to watch the sunset and see how the abendrot sky will kiss the ocean. marvel at the combination of teal and twilight hues, and have my eyes on diurnal birds that fly their way to gather in large roots as you pull me closer for a hug.

ii. drink a hot cup or two of our favorite black coffee while i read you books that tell you fragments of my being, fill all the holes in our hearts, and clothe ourselves with band aids to fix our damanged selves.

iii. feel your burning touch as we make love on a rainy sunday morning. jam to an FM Static song played on a vinyl record later in the afternoon and dance under the starlit sky while enjoying a quiet respite.

iv. walk hand in hand in the busy streets of New York, throw our umbrella away and kiss under the rain— not minding everyone around us. and then we'll laugh and run away to a place where we exist as if we're destined to be in each other's loving arms.

v. photograph wonderful sceneries from places we travel to, carve a mark of our love in tree trunks, capture moments to treasure in our memories and lock our names into the lock bridge of Paris and toss the key away into the sea as a symbol of an everlasting love.

i can't stop thinking of everything we're supposed to be. but i can only weep silently and twist my tears into words hoping they will reach you in time— and yet they didn't.

our 3am pillow talks has ended. and as you drift further and further away from me, our memories invaded my mind little by little. but i'm only able to watch you from afar as you set sail and put a check mark on your bucket list of love with her with tears streaming down my face.

WRITER’S DEATH

Moon General

No one knew he died.

It’s too unfortunate for him.

Bang!

With one shot, everything vanished. Just like a dust gone by the wind, so as his life flew freely in the air. What went wrong?

He is the writer everyone used to envy. He has a very wide imagination that knows well how to animate every character in his story, as if it was tweaking your mind, leaving you in awe. Tinkerbell? He could narrate it as if she was the worst protagonist in Peter Pan’s life. He also knows how to put well every emotion into words and craft a poem which could shed a tear and tickle a happy heart. Technically speaking, no grammar nazi would dare to criticize his work. He has been writing for years, creating narratives which serves to be an eye opener and at the same time a heart warmer for some. He’s living every writer’s dream. He’s got everything he need in order for him to create his literary pieces. Skills, dreams, brains and coffee. Name it, he has it!

Until one quiet night, the clock struck 9.

He was desperately catching thoughts like a man helplessly grasping his breath. No matter how hard he persist, his mind wouldn’t take him to ideas which he really needed to create his masterpieces. He tried running on the streets, as if someone is trying to kill him. He’s hoping that by running, his mind would work in a speed of light and flash heap of ideas. Till he returned in his humble abode, he throw everything that blocked his way.

He is unstoppable! Madness and chaos is within his spirit!

Then bang!!!

No. It wasn’t the sound of a gunshot!

It was the sound of idea abruptly going through his mind as if it was a bullet being fired by his captor.

A thought which came to his mind. A thought that would kill the writer in him.

It was the thought of him running out of ideas!

It was then his death.

From then on, the writer in him vanished. He didn’t knew what went wrong. No one noticed that he stepped out of the limelight.

His death was one of the worst death he couldn’t imagine.

It was the writer’s death that some of the writers are experiencing. It’s a death that no matter how one tries to revive, it will only return once in a bloody moon.

Tragic. Helpless. Mysterious.

THE ROVER

Arnel James Y. Suprito

Iam a person full of restrictions. I am somewhat imprisoned in my own jail. Thinking about the many “what ifs” I could have achieved, and the many options I could’ve taken. Dealing with my own alter ego isn’t that much of an easy task because handling my thoughts is like going into a galaxy with no stars at all.

My life is a dull and boring story. I go to school, I socialize- but not too much. I go home, I prepare for my next morning as a breathing and normal living being, and then I sleep. Sure, my parents can afford the things that I need, and even some luxuries I thought I did not deserve. Yet those things don’t matter to someone who has been imprisoned at all.

For most of the time, I am quiet. I remain quiet until someone asks for my opinion. And each time I shut my mouth, I also shut myself out from the likes of everything and everyone that I’m supposed to appreciate.

I like myself better everytime I am in my passive state. I like the things that I do each time I space-out, because it is only then that I get to see another version of me. The carefree and wild personality I’ve always wanted to be. The freedom that I have been longing for the longest time. I am blissful, active and contented. Contented in a sense that I am experiencing things I don’t normally feel, and happy because somehow, in another dimension and in another space and time, I am able to travel and learn more about myself in the process.

Now, I have found myself, yet again, spacing out just like how I used to do for years already. The only difference is, the person I used to imagine, is now the person I have become.

Ianberg Olango

Dear Trail,

Nakabalo man mo anang kanta nga Isang Linggong Pag-ibig ba? Ginahimo ra guro nag joke sa uban pero isa ko sa mga naigo ani nga kanta bay. Maynalang kay dili pud to literal nga isa ra ka semanahan among paghinigugmaay.

Lunes, ng tayo’y nagkakilala

Lublob kayo inyong ante sa library intawon. Sa panahon sa ting exam, kailangan jud nga mukayod. Mao nang muinom ta ug im-eks-four, char lang. Bitaw Trail kay, kailangan jud nga magstudy ko do. Dili lang man jud ni para sakong kaugalingon kundi para pud sa tanang kinabuhi nga nakasalalay sa akong mga kamot, sa dakbayan, samong siyudad ug intawon para sakong bilabid seksyon. Dili mi gakinopyaha ha? Ga tutorial session mi oyst. Abi palang. Rawr. Brilliant baya ko so of course, tanan jud magpa-bet ug patudlo sa akoa. Enebe. Ug sa akong pagtuon-tuon, wa nako damha nga naa koy lain matun-an. Dili lang sa Rizal ug matematika, apil na pud sa gugma; kato siya nga naa sa ikatulong lamisa. Gwapo, taas, ug sa dili man nga manghinawayon, kadtong senior namong ilado sa pagkabagsakonon. Ningisi siya kanako Trail dala kindat sa iyang matang nagpaila nga kiat. Nilingi ko sa akong luyo kay abi nakog para kato sa ubang tao. Kay si kinsa ra man jyud ko oy. Utok ug kasingkasing ray anaa, pag abot sa kagwapa? Aw, dili na ta mag istorya. Kadyot ra nawala akong panan-aw niya, pagbalik nakog lingi, sus panabangi! Iyang mahayagong dagway na ang anaa.

“Hi miss, diba ikaw tong peymus tutor? Can I be your suitor? hehehek Btaw oi joke lang, patudlo ko bi.”

“Ha?”

“Hakdog. Hahaha ana ko miss pretty, pwede magpatutor? Nakadungog man jyud ko nga maayo kayo ka mutudlo.”

Wala nako damha mga ka Trail, nga kaila diay siya sa akoa. Pero mas wa nako damha iyang pagkabagag nawong. Imagina, unang kita pa can I be your suitor na ang pangutana? Hilasa jyud. Pero wala oy, nibukad na akong atay mga mamsh. Sa akong pagka NBSB, karon pa napansin inyong ante, unya gwapo pa gyud! Kinsa ba ko para mu dili aning tawhana nga blessing ni gikan sa Ginoo. So hala bira, bahalag daghan na nakalinya nako nga tutees, angkunon na ni nako! Sanaol na lang inyo!

Martes, ng tayo’y muling nagkita

Martes atong adlawa nagkita ming duha didto sa Lawesbra. Samtang ako nag linya sa Sagittarius nga Karenderya, siya mikalit lang ug tunga.

“Helo Mam, may I tek ur order, pero joke lang.”

“Ha?”

“Hakdog.”

“Ha?”

“Isa? Ah isa ka hakdog imo! Sige ako na bahala bayad.”

Wa nako kasabot unsay nahitabo adto kay nakuratan lang jyud kayko, wa ko

nagexpect nga ang rich boy sama kaniya masalaag ug Lawesbra. Nagbunyi nalang akong kalag para sakong mapobreng wallet ug nisayaw akong mga ugat mga ka-gawens. Tungod niining panghitabua, narealize nako nga but-an sad diay ning tiguwanga. Nisaad gayod ako sa akong kaugalingon nga pagtiyagaan ko ni siyag tudlo aron macomplete package na gwapo, dato ug, brayt pa.

Anang semanaha, hala na siyag sunod sunod kanako Trail. Bisan pag lahi nga tutee akong ginaatiman, muuban gayod siya aron daghan daw siya matun-an. Niabot sa punto nga nag thesis na gayod sila ug halos permi na lang siya kahilakon muduol sa akoa. Pagtan-aw nako sa iyang proyekto, intawon ang grammar gadugo, ang mga citations dili mao, makita jyud nimo nga katong papela di jyud mulambo. Haskang paningkamot gayod nako nga tuliron iyang nasugdan Trail aron ang iyang effort kay dili masayang. Ug samtang ako nabusy ug tarong sa iyang papel, atimanado kayo inyong ante! Palitan ko sa pagkaon, ipagtambay sa ilang balay nga aircon (puno ug Chuckie ilang double doors nga ref!), ug ihatod pauli kung maabtan na sa tinggawas sa mga bituon. Sa upat nga tuig kong pagka tutor sa eskwelahan, sa iyaha ra gayod ko nakasinati sa magarbong pagtrato. Dagdag points na iyang pagkadato ug pagkagwapo kay ang iyang gyung pagkabut-an ug pagka-maamumahon ang nitatak kanako.

Miyerkules, nagtapat ka ng iyong pag-ibig. Nilabay ang duha ka semana, ug miabot na ang Miyerkules, ang adlaw sa ilang defense. Ang akong tutee nga gwapo confident kaayo. Angayan kaayo sa iyang formal attire, napay pa briefcase ang amaw. Deal or No Deal ba ni ghurl? Chz. Makaproud kaayo ang progress sakong koya estudyante. Kung adtong unang semana, mangurog daw gakabulol pa siya, karon pwede na pang ahente sa backrow maka storya oipssst. Pagkahuman sa ilang defense nga murag tuig sa kadugay nga hinulata nako sa gawas sa accreditation room sa CSM, dali-dali siya ni dagan paingon sa ako ug pinakalit lang nga gi gakos ko. Hay Trail! Aside sa iyang research, wa nako kabantay nga pati akong feelings kay nadevelop sa iyaha, samot na sa mga panahong sige ra mig uban. Niabot ra jyud ang adlaw nga nilalom na akong gugma para niya. Gihigugma sad kaha ko aning tawhana? Nangurog akong tuhod daw nipaspas akong kasing kasing sa pagpitik. Ghad Trail! Niluhod syas akong atubangnan!

Kahilakon kayko, finally naa na jyuy laki nga ni luhod para sa ako ug… gihikot akong liston. Abi nakog manguyab na. Paita. Medyo nanlumo ko gamay daw nidungo lang gihapon bisag ni tindog na siya.

“Psst huy unsay gadunguay paka? Humana oy ako nang gihikot aron di ka madusmo.”

“Hmm, kita ko.”

“Huy tan-awa sa ko ba.” Nidungaw ko niya nga nakatutok sa akong mga mata. Ingon siyag

“Sa duha ka weeks that we spent with each other, nakat-unan nako nga higugmaon ka. Bhe, will you be my BehBhe GHorL?”

Wa gyud ko kasabot sa akong gi bati pag ingon niya ato, halos ka lutawon akong kasing-kasing pero murag abog ra man ko kumpara sa iyang fans club tapos na uyab ra dayun niya? Wattpad ka ghORL? Chz. Pero sa tinuod gyud Trail, makapangutana pud ko sa akong

kaugalingon, deserve ba gyud nako siya? Igo ra tawon ko nakaingon ug “Thank you” daw nidagan nag palayo ug wa na nilingi pa.

Huwebes, ay inibig rin kita. Human sa panghitabo, gakataha na kog pakita niya. Siya ang tubig, ako ang owel. Siya ang adlaw, ako ang gabii. Siya ang langit, ako ang yuta. Sa simpleng tumong, dili jyud puwede nga mag-kami. Gusto man ko mu layo diretso sa iyaha, pero naa koy responsibilidad sa iya isip tutor nga sa una pa lang ky mao na jyud akong papel sa iyang kinabuhi. Gipaspasan nakog human ang mga revisions sa iyang research daw nisaka sa 5th floor CEA bldg. aron isuksok dadto sa iyang locker. Kung magkita man mi karon, bahala na. Ni tugot ko sa akong kaugalingon nga makit-an siya, nga last ug final na jyud ni aron makahawa na kog pinahilom gikan sa iyang kinabuhi. Apan kamulo kong suksuk sa revisions, kalit lang nga adunay nigunit sa akong mga kamot daw nag ingon, “Please, ayaw ko biyae.” Ug sa niadtong tungura, nakadesisyon ko nga dawaton siya. Nga ipasulod siya sa akong… kinabuhi. Bahala na kung unsa pa nang panglantaw sa mga tawo kanako. Bahala nag nganlan pa ko nilag maskin unsa nga daotang pulong, ang importante wala mi gi tapakan nga tawo ug nag higugmaay mi. Ni buhi ko sa mga kamot nga nag gunit kanako, daw gi gakos nako siya ug akong gi ingon nga ako kay iyaha na.

Biyernes, ay puno ng pagmamahalan

Niagi ang mga panahon ug ni abot na gayud ang Pebrero, ang bulan sa dili pa mag Marso. Panahon sa diabetes tungod sa mga ginakaon nga… tam.is. Tobrelone, Reffero Chorer, Bucadburry, name it, my uyab has it. Chour. Nag detdet mi sa Gaston, McArthur, ug bisan pag didto sa Duaw. Park hopping among trip gaw. Namahaw mi sa McBee’s, naniudto sa Jollynalds, daw paninghapon sa Chowqueen. Busog ug nalipay kayo ko adtong adlawa ay, way char, makahilak sa kalipay. Nag-ubana ra mi adtong semanaha Trail kay gisulit jyud namo ang panahon nga uban mi. Ngano? Inyong angkol intawon mugraduate na sunod semana ug dako kaayong kalipay nako para kaniya. Murag lang ug kagahapon pa nga ningisi siya kanako kaniadto sa LRC 3rd Floor Undergrad Library dala kindat sa iyang matang nagpaila nga kiat. Murag lang ug kagahapon pa nga gilibrehan ko niyag hakdog dadto sa Saggitarius. Gakiligon jyud kog dumdom adtong mga panahunang bag-o ra mi nag-ila. Pagkagabii adto, wa na namo nasinati ang katugnaw tungod sa kainit nga among gibati. Nakasakay kog spaceship nga wala sa NASA ug libre pa ang plite. Sa kalayo sa among biyahe nasangko mi sa langit nga maanyagon, pag-abot sa kabuntagon kami nag gumikan na sa among destinasyon.

Sabado, tayoy biglang nagkatampuhan Ang mga minuto nahimong oras, ang mga oras nahimong adlaw, ang mga adlaw nahimong semana. Nigraduate na siya ug nadawat na sa trabaho diretso samtang ako nagpadayon pa ug eskwela. Abi nakog dali ra ang among kinabuhi karon nga nakatrabaho na siya. Apan, gakahutdan na siyag oras para sa ako. Dili man sa selosa kay makasabot pud baya ko kaniya. Pero dili jyud. Ilabi na adtong Sabaduha nga nakita-an nako siya didto sa Ilaha. Naningala ko adtong panahuna kay nganong nasalaag man akong baby bunch sugar

plum pumpyumpyumpkin sweety pie dadto nga taga Puerto man intawon siya? Nga sa KaiKetLim Downtown City man siya gapanarbaho? Natubag ra kini adtong pagkakita nako nga maayo kaayo iyang paghungit hungit sa baba sa dili niya parente or akoa. Trail, naa siyay lain. Adtong panahuna nisurok gayud akong dugo. Sa way pagduha-duha niduol ko nila ug nangutana kinsa iyang disabled nga kauban nga kinhanglan pa man jyud hungitan. Dako kaayo iyang kurat pagkakita nako pero paistorya na siya ug andam nako maminaw sa iyang rason Trail kay medyo marupok baya pud, hatag diretso chance! Dawbi kay nitubag maning pabet nga pinakbet nga kabet daw naglalis sila sa akong atubangan daw didto na nayabo ang kamatuoran.

“Aw mao na ni siya? Maygani nianhi. Agpas bulagi na. Enough na akong paghulat sa imo ug six months.”

“Oo, nahuman na niya akong research dugay ra busa bitaw nakagraduate ko. Ayaw sag sawsaw ipagstorya sa ming duha.”

Adtong niingon ko nga brilliant ko, tinuod jyud to. Sa ilang mga gipang-ingon, diresto nako narealize nga gigamit ra ko niya para sa iyang research Trail. In-ana ko ka bright, in-ana sya kabugok, in-ana ko ka uto-uto.

Linggo, giliw ako’y iyong iniwan Nilabay ang mga adlaw ug wa gyud siyay chat, text, call, tweet, katalk, wechat, my story, viber, telegram, o snail mail man lang. Wala jud? Final na? Last na gyud ni? Mudawat pa man nuon kog hangyo, mudawat pakog pa-extend sa 8080, mag explain lang gyud siya pero dakong wala, zero, itlog. Niabot sa punto nga kapungot na lang ang nabilin sa akong kasingkasing para kaniya. Closure na lang ang kulang aron mahiluna na akong kalag. Sa pagtutokaay nako sa kalendaryo pagpangitaay sa adlaw kung kanus-a nako siya sulungon, nahugno akong earth. Yes sistz, akoa ang earth. Ang mother yuta kung aha nag gumikan ang tanan. Narealize nako nga dugay na kini wala nagsakit, dugay na wala nagpagawas ug sobra nga red blood cells. Nitulo ang mga luha sa akong mata nga sama sa mga tubig nga nagdagayday sa mga sapa. Duha naman diay ko bulan wala gidu-aw ug regla human samong Space Exploration. Sige rasad diay kog kaon hilabi na sa keykiam with sabaw, sinigang with itlog, noodles with balut, ug uban pa weird but yummy combos – for me. Rawrsk. Didto nako napagtanto Trail nga buros naman diay ko.

Dili ko gusto maguol akong mga ginikanan maong wala jyud koy lain giingnan kundi ang amo ra gyung katabang nga si Nanay Maria. Niuban ko sa iyang mahilumon nga balay ug didto gipadako akong gwapo nga baby boy. Ang gwapo niyang amahan nga way puangod? Wala na siya ni reply. Di man unta kalag-kalag ato nga tungura pero ngano gi ghost man ko? Nagtabo mi once sa 23/11 convenience store adtong pagpalit nakog gatas ug diapers pero intawon, nag dagan-dagan sya palayo sa ako. Racer ka boii? Chumbii ka sa Plants vs. Zombie? Gilakag nako sya sama sa paglakag niya sa ako sauna. Pero karon, dili na tungod sa akong gugma para kaniya kundi aron akong anak naay matawag nga Papa. “Gi kapoy na kag dagan? Gi kapoy na kag palayo? Kay ako gikapoy nakog tan-aw nimo nga sigeg palayo sa akoa. I was pregnant and I don’t think you even knew it.” Shocked kaayo sya Trail kay ang iya rang naigon kay, “Ha?”

“Hakdog. You failed as a father. Ingon ko I was pregnant and you didn’t even-” “Pregnant? Well then I’m sorry if I wasn’t there but you can’t blame me for your mistake. Naburos ka? Fine. Aha namang bata? Ambi bi, ipa-ampon nato. Ako bahala na sa bills og papilis.”

Gitutukan nako siyag maayo Trail. Kung makapatay pa ang tinan-awan, double dead na ni siya karon. Pwede sad triple or kung ML pani, maniac savage nani.

“Kung dili nimo kaya mag sorry sa imong gibuhat. Okay ra. Madawat ra nako. Kung dili nimo kaya magpakatao, okay ra. Klaro man nga asal hayop gyud ka. Pero kanang imong ginapangayo nga ipaampon ang bata when sobra pa ta ka capable magpadako sa iyaha. Sobra na. Ayg kabalaka, kaya nako nga ako ra isa.”

Tanang pag-asa nako nga at least man lang unta magpaka-amahan sya, nahagba tanan. Nakahilak na lang ko adto para sa akong anak. Nihuot akong tutunlan ug gipugos akong kaugalingon nga iingon sa iya ang naa sa akong kasing kasing, “Don’t worry. Dili nimo ni deserve nga bata.” Mao to siya ang last nakong kita sa iyaha. Dili sayon akong kaagi Trail. Wala nako nakaya ug ingon kay mama nga ang iyahang nag-inusara nga tagapagmana samong family business, kay naburos na ug di kapadayog skwela. Nagpadayon ko ug pagpalayo ug pagtago sakong pamilya sa pipila ka bulan kay Nanay Maria ayha ko nanganak. Gwapo kaayo siya Trail. Gwapo kaayo akong anak. Pero dili pa nako pwede maangkon. Unsaon nalang akong ikabuhi sa iyaha? Unsaon nalang ang kaugmaon aning bataa? Si Nanay man gali galisod dinhi, unsa nalang karon nga naa pajuy bata. So akong gitigom tanan nako kusog para mubalik ila Mama, pero ang kapalit ani nga decision Trail kay kailangan nako biyaan akong anak. Si Nanay karon ang gabantay sa iya samtang ako nagskwela balik ug nagtrabaho para masustentuhan silang duha.

Nagkatawa nalang jyud ko Trail sa mga estorya ni Nanay sa akoa about sakong anak. Graduate japon siya sa USTP, Trail – sa lugar kung aha nagsugod tanan. Pero ang funny part lang kay abi nila nga Maria Makahiya ang akong Super Mario. Buotan, ga-shat ginagmay, gaskwelag dinagko, lowkey bright ug sa dakong panghinambog sa akong anak, gwapo kaayo siya bahalag ni liko siya kadjot. Ang cheka man daw kay nagpadala sad siyag letter dinhi? Kaila naman guro mo niya.

Nilabay ang taas nga panahon ug bag-o ra siya gikasal sa usa ka gwapang babae. Dako kayo akong pasalamat sa Ginoo kay ginahigugma ug ginaampingan jyud ug tarong ang akong anak sa iyang gipakaslan. Sana all. Sukad sa pagkamatay ni Nanay Maria, ayha pako nakakuhag kusog nga mubalik sa iyang kinabuhi. Wala nako nagpaila sa iya isip iyang inahan kundi usa ka Tita. Mas pilion na lang nako nga dili na madalahig pa ang akong anak sa mga kasakit sa niagi ug aron nasad nga dili maguba kung unsa man ang anaa sa amo karon. Kuntento nako. Magpakuntento na lang ko. Wala koy plano nga ishare akong istorya kaninyo USTPeans pero nainspire jyud kayko ug naigo sa theme karon ni Trailblazer nga beyond reach. Kay nakaabot jyud ko sa punto nga nagpagkabuta para sa gugma, nga nabeyond reach na kaayo ko sa kung unsay tarong nga pangutok, nga mas gipili nako sundon akong heart kesa sakong mind.

Proudest Mama / Tita ni Super Mario, Virginia. (Ha? Hakdog.)

To keep the formality of the literary folio, profanities were omitted in this story.

Be Free

Tell me how many times have you lost count of the sunflowers that dies from the toxic spitted by ruthless tongues; the sunflowers you barely grow. Tell me how many labels have you garnered over the years like awards in round-figured gold hanged around your neck; the ones that weighed you down your barely stand upright. Tell me about the stream of hatred in your impaired veins you badly want to hush, and the bastille in your chest where you chose to imprison the only angel that has survived the hefty judgements. Tell me about the nights when the wolves’ howl curses against the person in the mirror and the wind stings like burns on your skin for painting hatred, and when midnight reveries became the unwritten and unspoken apologies.

Now, let me tell you these: unchain yourself from those heavy words and start to wear off the labels that you supposedly do not own. Apologize, yes, but do not cauterize your principles just to satisfy others bloated egos. Do not let them infect your goodness with fatal potions; do not let them suppress the good in you. Free the angel and let her spread sunflower seeds over your veins, allow her to mend the disfigured kindness left in you. Let her rule over mischief; and as much as possible do not counter strike their bullets, instead, build walls so high they can no longer harm you, so you can no longer harm you; take it as a part of growing. Own the goodness in you, believe in it, and be the kindness that you deserve.

Julia Louise Jaylo

On Dreams, Realities and Regrets

In life, taking a break is essential. One must take the time to reflect how he or she is doing and give importance to things that are left in the corner of nothingness.

Vivid Dreams

Reaching adulthood can be both satisfying and frustrating. To some, being an adult means freedom, and attaining it is a dream to consider. The chain that locks you in the box has been broken and you now have the full liberty to access anything, thus, experiencing things that you haven’t done before is something that excites you. You go to parties and go home late, drink with your friends then travel to many places, eat too much and go shopping without considering the price. You hang out with your friends and have a deep talk with your longtime girlfriend or boyfriend. Who will dislike the idea of freedom?

Realities and Regrets

On the other hand, adulthood is not just happiness. Imagine this, you get to spend your whole life working alone being stuck in the office doing paperworks for your boss, or you end up taking another job because that boss fired you. You even go abroad and leave your family behind just to support their financial needs on a daily basis. These can be frustrating to hear but we don’t close our doors to any possibilities. That being said, adulthood demands enough salary. You are not just working for yourself but instead, for the welfare of your family as well. Parents send their children to school not because they want them to read books the whole time but because they want them to finish their studies and later on find their own job. It is not about the school anymore, it is about the reality that one has to face without regrets. In this competitively economic-based society, getting a high salary is a must. But as we get older, the materialistic mentality slowly fades and we tend to value the world and appreciate even the tiniest thing. Like a butterfly, we undergo metamorphosis. We are moving at a very slow pace before we get to realize that we are becoming someone who is passionate and ambitious enough to reach their dreams, and goals in life, someone who’s driven to do extraordinary things, and someone who is courageous to take any challenge. While living, forcing things is not much as an option. Do not be so hype of reaching the legal age. Savor the moment of being a teenager. Take it slow, and do not be in a hurry. You still have a long journey to ride and I tell you this, you will get to learn a lot of lessons and do not be too serious about getting old because you are supposed to enjoy your life, and do not confine yourself with the thought of grasping freedom. Go and get the freedom that you deserve but also don’t forget to take the responsibility. It might take long. Yet, you will soon reach your destination my friend!

Brian Jay Vallejo

Unreachable Answers

Kim Ruzzel T. Amper

It is Einstein who discovered that light travels fastest in the universe at approximately 300,000 km/s through his Special Theory of Relativity.

Human Technology

Planets, stars, galaxies, and satellites are light years away from each other. With the telescopes and hubbles that we have today in space, it could take decades and hundreds of years, before we can get to one of the celestial bodies in the outer space. Imagine, if we could just build a flying machine that could travel as fast as light, we can reach the sun by 8 seconds. However, by looking at how far we have come as humans when it comes to our technological advancements, they are still not enough. There are still more things about Science, unlimited source of energy, and truth about our brain when powered 100% , that should be unearthed and studied more.

The Past

It still bothers me to see pyramids built not just in Egypt but as well as in the other parts of the Earth. It is said that, before, the three great Giza pyramids are perfectly aligned to the the constellation of Orion's belt. How is that even possible? Each year, new things from the past are unveiled, from the depths of the sea to the Earth's soil. As they are all connected to each other, the more things become mysterious. Experts still wonder as to how these primitive beings of the past were able to build such huge, massive, and magestic buildings and infrastructures with the technology they had during their time. Are these men of the ancient civilizations more advanced than of us today? Or am I just being too specu lative and delusional to think that way? Nevertheless, come to think of it, what machine did they use during those times when metal was not even discovered yet?

One of Everything

Thinking about what is the edge of the universe, and if ever there is an end to it, what is then the outside of it? Questions like these make my brain explode like a volcanic

eruption. There are still many things we know very little about. The Earth is just like an in significant invisible dot in the observable universe. We are just one of the billion planets, and our sun is just one of the gazillion stars. What more lies there aside from us? Why are things build the way they are? Why do we have to exist? If there was nothing at the beginning, what would be out there? What could nothing look like?

Questions. These are just few of the most repeatedly asked questions about our existence and the universe we live in. The past, future, and present in the Theory of General Relativity of Einstein exist altogether. Yes, time is relative. The faster you go, the slower the time moves. Do you know black holes? Black holes are collapsed-stars that are very dense, massive object, and has an enough gravitational pull that will make you move or travel from one place to another as fast as light. Black holes can devour any close planets by a matter of seconds only. If you are wondering if anyone had ever been into a black hole, the answer is no. Once you are caught with its tireless pull, you can never escape from it. The closer you get to the bottom, the pull becomes more powerful that it will make your body stretch like a spaghetti string, and pull you until you reach the end point which is called the singularity. Everything ends there, so as the knowledge of man. No one knows what is inside the singu larity.

Searching for Answers

As of now, Einstein's Theory of Relativity and the Quantum Theory still do not get along well together. If we could just dive right into one of the black holes without get ting killed, we can all have the answers about our universe, the reason behind our existence, and our past. There is a limit to the knowledge of man. We are bound to a system that is stopping us from learning more about the truth. Going beyond the walls is risky, for you do not know what is behind them. Something, new is strange or a threat for you have no idea of what it is and its capabilities. Nevertheless, we will never know the truth unless we go out there, be curious and seek for new and study it and know, if it brings danger or answers. Questions will remain questions forever if its not answered and the missing links of our past will cause confusion to the future.

What if we were all wrong? What if we were just in the wrong path after all? What could be missing? Try to ask yourself. Are the knowledge we have been searching for a very long time were intentionally hidden? Or they were just there all along, living with us since the day the universe ages, and it is just that our kind is not ready to see and comprehend all these things that would eventually reveal the truth about our existence, our past, and our fate?

Philip Ribs

SOCIETY OF CLOWNS

Happiness. I had a hard time on how to explain the word itself. The idea was within my grasp however, when I execute the concept into words, the results are quite disappointing. As I fail to reach satisfaction with every attempt, I came to a conclusion; I was not entirely aware of happiness itself. With this thought, I began to ponder: What is happiness? Is it even real? Can we all be happy? Can that even be possible?

I have been thinking of the true meaning of happiness for quite a while now. It has been years ago when I started to learn more about myself; trying to stop from going deeper into feeling numb and empty. Since then, I have been avoiding the situation where I will have to find an answer. But now, I am offered an opportunity to think about the meaning of happiness again and there’s no turning back.

Until now, there is no specific feature that may define happiness. Some may claim and provide statistical data that happiness is inner peace and such. But let us be honest, it is not that easy to achieve. Just as humans have different personalities, features, and characteristics; the same goes with how we define happiness.

Happiness can just be a cup of mild tea to you or a cup of bitter coffee for someone else. Happiness may be enjoying a lively, sociable life or appreciating a life in simple solitude. Happiness can be walking towards the path of justice and righteousness or heading towards misdeed and vicious violence.

Despite these, happiness can still be achieved in so many ways as long as it is accompanied with doing what you are passionate about, strengthened by strong social support. The relevant thing to do, is to find your means of happiness and share it with others since the best things in life are meant to be shared.

Now let me ask you again, can we all be happy? Can that even be possible? Nothing ever comes easy, the same with how anything goes.

As we chase visions of our futures, we should continue thriving through corrupted lungs. Find ways to live through life and make your days the way you want to. And now I tell each one of us, good luck with life.

Sophie the Vampire Cat

OBLIVION

Bimbay

When I die, I wanted to look dead. I wanted to be dead Put me in a wooden casket, no mirrors. Remember me the way you wanted to, and know that it is done. No embalming, no wakes. Bury me overnight. Do not spend your nights in front of my enclosed remains. Go on and live until you no longer can – the same way I did.

No eulogy, no letters. I believe everything has already been said and heard. Offer your words to the living, for those are supposed to be listened to just like how I’m supposed to rot.

No flowers, no tears. Use your money and energy for whatever your mortal body craves. Cry for beginnings and not for endings. No funeral, no tombstone. I want to return to my state before conception - unknown.

Realize that my mortal body is beyond reach but always remember to remember me. Dying is not scary, being forgotten is.

Nico Michael Escalona UNTITLED

November An excerpt from Z Flight

It is known to man that the tracks we make across every shore, stays not long. Just as the purple winds at dusk and the grey skies in every rain, they happen not to last, they pass. We wanted them to stay a little longer, but we always know that it’ll be easy to hold it no more. No matter how unstable it makes us become after, it’s life, it’s raw. We’re all boarding the same train for now, watching the same scape, running around, playing the dull scenery of goodbyes and strange welcomes of hello. By time, it makes us realize about how they come by and go, shaking their hands and waving back for their departures. Life. I don’t find it happy and euphoric. Perfecting our life isn’t necessary. Just find something worth the struggles, since at the end of the day what really makes us strong and wonderful is not the shine. It is the tales we have, the colours we’ve seen and the flavours of the days that seasoned us so well as humans.

The day I was born was the day I had

my empty jar, waiting to be filled by all of the wonders of this world where I considered my place to feel, learn and grow.

I was lucky enough when I was a kid. Lucky with the experiences that I had as a child like dancing in the rain, playing in the mud, swimming in the river every noon, finding spiders in the bush during night and going home being welcomed by the big shouting mouth of my mom. Funny how I just let her words pass from ear to ear without really understanding what she’s saying to me. If I were to think, even though I was scolded by my mother, I still had a great long day with my friends, and that’s already an experience that not anyone can have. A happening in my life that I can count as worthy to be kept in my jar.

As I grow, I have found something better than my mother’s scolding session, and that moment was when I went to school. At first, I just go to school to avoid household chores because I prefer to wander than to stay at home. But as the days go by, I was urged to take my studies seriously when I realized that while I was getting older, so as were my parents. That very reason enlightened me to take a step to be on the top on my elementary days. I even got a scholarship for my high school. It’s an overwhelming event which made me glad because I saw how my parents smiled widely to me. Their smile, their faces. Those pictures of them are another earnest memory to put in my jar.

In my Secondary School, excited and always looking forward to what it might bring me. Will it be more friends? More lessons in life? Or more achievements?

High School is said to be the best part of our student life because this is also our teenage days. Indeed, it is the moment of my

life where knowing others is important, because there were those that I consider as friends in the first days but later became my enemies. I found out that while you are doing your best, others may take it as something that offends them. However, I considered it as simply their attitude and just continued on taking my part in my studies. I even joined clubs where I found myself better. I became more involved and participative in volunteering activities and considered myself as a leader not just for my own but for others as well. As a teenager, I had my so-near-yet-so-far someone, whom I considered as an inspiration aside from my parents. Having someone to look up to everyday made me more active on school activities, not because I wanted to get that someone’s attention, but because I wanted to test myself if I can still manage and do better on my academic standing while participating on my extracurricular activities. Indeed, having someone as an inspiration drives you to do more but discourages you when you see that she’s with someone else. Still, I learned something new, and that is acceptance. You can have a lot but not all. Those experiences gave me lessons that are worth-saving in my jar. Day by day, as I go along, as I interact with people, my own jar is getting filled by joy, laughter and lessons. Letting me to feel the sense of fulfillment that I have did something great in my life.

And as I enter college, I brought myself – my jar, ready to do greater fights in my journey, ready to collect more memorable learnings. However, the wonders I expected to experience are not it seem to be, because it went beyond that far. I know that I already went a lot of criticisms, disappointments, and failures. I even used it as source of lessons and improvements to fill and full myself up and be a better individual. But this time, it’s different. This time, it’s so difficult to handle. This time, I broke down. This time, it’s too much to take. And I, who was filled by happiness and hopes, is now messed up and hopeless. This pain, is heavier than before, and it caused me to spill my heart out from my own jar, making me empty and lost like I never had anything inside.

Would it be the end of everything I’ve earned? Would it be the last of my dearest journey?

Downed. Drowned. Drained.

With bare self-remain, I think a lot about what I have started and achieved. I, was once empty container. I, was once an unfilled jar before. And I should fill myself in. Because it is what I should do. It is what I should be. I am someone who have experienced life critiques and disapprovals. Someone who have experienced disappointments and dismays. Someone who have experienced breakdowns and failures. This is just another challenge. My heart might have spilled out its content to the ground, but my jar still remains. And by this, I can still gather something that my heart wants which I can pour on my own jar. It might be new, but surely it will fill myself up, with more worth-keeping lessons, with more worthsaving moments, and more worth-fighting reasons. I, will still continue to collect the heart of every experience, of every moment till I fill my jar of hearts, again.

10 29 19

Ilike this feeling. I like writing, and this is not just about writing- my head is poisoned and I vomit the words. My mind is wounded and I bleed out the letters.

I do this a lot before us. Bleeding out on some random pages and I have never known how much I miss writing until this very moment.

I somehow realized how emotionally dependent I am to him. I do run to him every time my mind dives into over thinking. His voice heals the self-inflicted bruises patch all over my brain. His presence is the antidote to my venomous thoughts.

But not today- certainly not today.

All I have is myself and the way my head races until its imaginary legs tire out. When it calms down I am down to shallow inhales and deep exhales.

I feel powerful and vulnerable even with a just a pen in hand. I feel strong and frail as the ink stain these pages. I feel myself -burdened and light. So I write something uncertain yet defined as this

It's not bad to feel safe, warm and secure being around him because truthfully, I do. But today I learned that there are aspects in life that I may have to make myself feel that way.

I have hopefully shed out this self-made fragility. So, I do not have to run to you whenever I feel powerless because of my emotions, I feel exposed because of my impulses and I feel volatile because of my pain. All I have to do is write. For in my I am invincible.

May you find your today.

Bimbay

WINGED

She lives a life of beauty and luxury where everything she plans falls right in front of her eyes; held at her own palm. She can buy a book, sell her clothes, go to school, travel from place to place, excel at her chosen path, and nothing is difficult as she could imagine not doing.

She got her wings in glamour while I have my own in a state of brokenness and always in constant repair.

Life is fairly unfair – everyone does not have the chance to choose the wings that they get to wear and there will be things that they cannot fully grasp as the heavens do not permit. Yet, everyone has the chance to enrich the feathers of their wings along the way. The wings we have already embodied in life cannot be of parallel opportunities yet its purpose were the same – to soar and reach the diamond-filled skies of success.

Amaranthine colours of noticeable handmade details on a pair of wings may be aesthetic but for the price of messed up thread, burnt skin, or broken bones. On the other hand, a broken wing may be caused by love and sacrifice or just plainly ineptness. Nothing is really certain on how something appears it to be. Everything has an untold story that most of us prefer to hide beneath the wings we are destined to wear. Instead, remember that every pair of wings is capable of doing great.

On moments we take, disparity makes us all unique but many tend to forget its gist. Don’t we exist to become one another’s support in times of breakdowns and shortcomings?

Even at these times, we are challenged as many are still being slowly destroyed by the thought of becoming more of another without overlooking the damage it may bring. Being blinded by greed, many just forget how our own wings could bring us the biggest falls and regrets. Unnoticeably, we became our own enemies. We forget to co-exist to be another’s pillar.

Let’s kill the habit of comparison to preserve ourselves and know exactly what we are truly capable of. Life is already inevitably difficult to understand but the chapter it publishes goes on as we learn to love the wings we have. Do not be stuck forever. A broken wing is never an end to someone who wishes to fly beyond the skies. Soar high and be a pair of wings that continuously seek an opportunity to learn new things!

She may luckily have her wings in glamour but remember that you are a warrior.

Existing in One’s Depth colasue

What if someone is literally beyond his depth? Or that he is way in deep over his head? He will probably be having trouble swimming or staying afloat for a long time.

People’s lives are like an unpredictable ocean. Its wideness signifies our unlimited and life absorption of knowledge. Its waves embody the changes of the highs and the lows that we encounter every single day; the currents that we need to grow. Its depths refer to our own mentality and emotional state every time we undergo confusions, difficult undertakings, and failures.

Many of us in our generation get ourselves involved in problems that are far from our depths. But then, we all have the choice even though the circumstance may demand against us on more than what we can give. Part of our choice is the need to understand that having a personality that is both gentle and exhausted is okay. It’s part of being a human. We should need to understand that it is tolerable to be mild with our own self. It is alright to feel what you are feeling and it is acceptable if it all crashes within the heaviness of your frames. We should realize that it is okay not to be okay, that it is okay to feel the sadness especially when we do not fully understand everything. We need to discern that we should not live in one extreme. Let us start avoiding to force ourselves to feel the unending happiness. Let us not sit with our own damage and make a home out of it. We should appreciate that we co-exist in a huge number of crowds. It is okay to be in this world as somebody who is merely figuring out how to balance everything, because being a mortal is both beautiful and burdensome. It is a perplexing and chaotic thing.

Life will always surprise us in the most stunning methods and will also break our hearts and minds in hurtful ways. However, life will offer us the kind of lessons which will help us to grow and bloom into a person we always admired to be. It will also convey within the kind of losses that stay within us, that somehow changed and mold us in painful means. Life will always demand us to do the work for us to heal even if it hurts; for us to be bold and for us to fight for ourselves in the coming days.

Above all, experiencing beyond one’s depth is a way to bounce towards the sunlight. It is the way we learn and recover in the path of goodness, even though, we may not know what we are reaching for. Pursuing with faith and bravery is permitting ourselves to believe that we are developing even when it does not feel like it. Diving deeply is like trusting ourselves even if we can’t recognize the path. Drowning beyond the depth of our lives is meaningful. Knowing that there is more for us, that we have the opportunity and capability to save ourselves like we always do before and that we always have the chance to survive in waters too deep to swim in.

To you whose time you spent on me, thank you. For making me happy, for making me learn, for making my life a fun rollercoaster ride. To those who came and went but left a lesson for me to learn, thank you.

For those who stayed through the thickest and the funnest times that had had and will transpire, please accept my deepest gratitude.

viva la vida

Note to self,

You have been so tough in facing those battles. College and having an Org may sucks, but still, you manage to stand and continue your passion. Please be grateful for everything. Your friends, family, the TRAIL fam and to the Almighty. You owed them your growth and success. I love you, self.

Cheers for more years of tears and laughter. Cheers for more years in TRAIL.

creativeweirdo

I just want to say thank you for the people who stayed by my side through thick and thin. I know that I’m struggling a bit but still glad because some people whom I called friends and family got my back. To Trail peps, I am grateful that you have made me busy and kept me from overthinking too much. I might get tired but I’ll go on as long as I could.

Ryan L. Ga-as (bluemask)

#Keepgoingself

#MorePowerTrailblazer

My life is unclear but it became purified as water when I met Trail. I still believe that God wants me to be part of this journey. Chour! Drama ka bess? Haha bitaw for my two years of existence sa The Trailblazer, thankful kaayu ko ani nga organization ug pati na sa mga nakauban nako through happiness, kabuangan ug worst pain in my layp. Hahaha this organization never gives up on me bisan unsa pako ka nega! Basta happy ko! Happy ka ghurl? Chour! hahaha bitaw more powers and bonds sa atoa Trail. Akong message sa mga wala pay uyab sa Trail, just keep on praying cause God will provide. Yiee and sa katong naa nay uyab nga taga Trail, isa ra gyud ako maingun : SANAOL! Haha bitaw God bless us!

Colasue

dum spiro spero. Muchas gracias trail para nuestro contento memorias parte con cada miembro. El cielo sonrier esto a voy corazon contento.

Kakegurui

New place. New people. New memories. Thank you.

Sincerely, Rasheed

To my dear friends -- co-summas, bugoks, tribu, I am sincerely grateful for your patience, understanding and energy. You make everything less stressful and light. Thank you for bringing out the best in me. Charoooot.

To my beloved family, for your unending sup port, patience, and understanding, thank you so much.

And to my trail family, thank you for the oppor tunity and space for creativity you have allowed me. Laban pipoool, labyu ol.

Gerson

Things aren’t always easy, take all the challenges that will make you for who you are. Give the best on everything, do it today because you never know what tomorrow brings. It’s not about the destination, it’s the journey. You fail, but it is part of the road. You stand, it is part of the will, You try again, it is part of being who you are! Be an inspiration to everyone. WHAT EVER YOU DO, JUST NEVER STOP!

#MambaOut #MambaMentality

#Kobe1/26/20 #RIPMamba

Kael

Every achievement we get, every challenge that we conquer; it is because of you and the people who support you. Hence with that in mind, I would like to thank some people. For being there with me along the way, for always remind ing me to do my best. Boboy, Sai, Melmar, and James, thank you for being with me and sup porting me in whatever I do. Thank you to my mother dear for the support. Of course I wanna thank myself--self support ganern--for doing your best and always staying positive. Lastly I’d like to give the honor to God. pink josefe

“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one.” – C.S. Lewis

There are people who enter your life and make it a bit crazier, make you laugh a little louder, and who shine a little brighter. As we enter college life, challenges and failure may come but, “ang importanti.. buhi”. My life is very blessed with some of the greatest people. Thank you for being a part of my journey. God bless us all!

Clif

Honestly, I did not expect to be part of the trailblazer. I just tried to be one and luckily, trail made room for me. I am always grateful of how they treat me even if I am such a “stubborn pet al” in the organization. Thank you ates, kuyas, fellow peeps, and sir. Thank you for the time spent. Thank you.

The day I submitted my application to the school publication, I had no hopes of ever becoming a part of it. I was only testing my luck back then. But, it turned out that I do have what it takes to be a member of the Trailblazer pub lication. Being part of this organization, made me believe in myself once more, I became more open to the idea of criticism, I was able to work with such great minds and more importantly, I found another family.

Though I am aware that I have my own short comings and defectiveness as a member of the organization, I still am thankful for the trust, and for accepting me over the many aspirants who applied. More power to the organization and may every one have this never-ending desire to write. Love, AJYS

Jaimeanne

The Trailblazer

PUBLISHER Students of USTP Editor-in-Chief/SciTech Section Editor Pevi Mary Clare L. Larede Publication Secretary/News Section Editor Jenny Babe M. Binalon Managing Editor- Finance Carmelli Marie A. Rago Creative Director Mark Jerome A. Orejenes Sports Section Editor Ryan L. Ga-as Senior Writers Maria Alexandrea Venilda P. Portillo Rissa S. Trazo Nicolas Cage De la Cruz Junior Writers Sofia B. Sarino Kim Ruzzel T. Amper Brian Jay B. Vallejo Senior Artist Djan Kyle Flor M. Muyco Junior Artist Mikhail Christian B. Gallana Ryan Josefe Mari Luis A. De Vera Rashed O. Dongiapon Gerson John P. Salvacion Clifford Jay Delos Santos Contributor Jaimeann B. Ermita Arnel James Y. Suprito Adviser Dr. Ramir Philip Jones V. Sonsona

Southern Philippines - Cagayan de Oro Campus