Agony Aunt: Answering your questions about

Do relationships last at school?

Absolutely. At the college it’s easy to get caught up in the day-to-day which makes meet up times quite hard. But being able to balance extra-curriculars, school work and social life is such a useful skill when mastered. Finding ‘meetup spots’ can be awkward during the talking period, not everyone is prepared for the unwanted attention that comes with a dinner or Tim’s date (ahem, rowdy boys cheering across the dining hall). If you’re looking for something inconspicuous, the bench by science, the Dell and the benches outside All Saints near Powell courts and Craig are a go-to. If you’ve been talking a while, you could consider LRC dates or the benches by cloisters (be prepared though, you might be making a statement about your status. Cloisters are still a very much public spot).

When initiating the ‘talking stage’ it’s important to ask yourself:

Does this person make me happy?

This seems broad but if there are sometimes misunderstandings which often become arguments, maybe reconsider? You don’t have time or energy to spend on over complicating things. Can you talk to this person honestly? Banter and good chat are vital, but what about being able to carry a deep conversation? Is that something you rate?) Will this ruin a friendship? If you’re friends with the person before how do you see your relationship evolving, does this risk your relationship afterwards? Do

you have time for this right now?

Although someone can make us happy short term, does it just cause extra stress?

The main piece of advice I would offer is to remember friends come first. Make sure you balance a new interest within your social life. The last thing you want is for them to lose interest in you and realise your friends aren’t there to support you after you’ve prioritised someone else for the past few months.

What does this month have in store for you?

Aries

March 21– April 20

Your path is full of obstacles, but if you watch where you’re going, you’ll probably be fine

Taurus

April 21– May 21

Never, EVER wear orange on a Tuesday

Gemini

May 22-June 21

Make sure to dress up warm, it’s forecast to rain this week

Cancer

June 22– July 22

*don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry*

Leo

July 22-Aug 22

Please, please, just try to do something productive

Virgo August 23– September 22 The rising of the moon means you need to spend less time on Depop… stop spending money you don’t have.

Libra

Sept 23– Oct 22

As an air sign, it might be time for you to try out paragliding.

Scorpio Oct 23– Nov 21

The moon is switched on in your truth chart: it’s time to come clean… do you REALLY HONESTLY only watch Twilight “ironically”?

Sagittarius Nov 22-Dec 21

Go hug your mum… even if you don’t want to

Capricorn Dec 22-Jan 20

Lighten up, darling. The sun will rise on you soon.

Words by KATRINA EVERSHED, YEAR 13 Images by MISSY RICHARDSON, YEAR 10

Aquarius Jan 21– Feb 19

Time for some self-care. Do a facemask, go for a run, drop out of school if you need. Live in a forest and practice witchcraft… you do you!

Pisces

Feb 20-March 20

Mercury is in retrograde: beware.

GOETHE’S VISIT

Eines Tages reiste Johann Wolfgang von Goethe nach England, um das Eastbourne College zu besuchen. Jedoch musste er schockiert feststellen, dass niemand von ihm gehört hatte. Stattdessen sprachen alle von einem Mann namens Shakespeare, der von der Bevölkerung vergöttert wurde. Statt über den „Pudels Kern“ zu sprechen, hörte man überall nur die Frage „to be or not to be“. Am ersten Tag in England stellte Goethe erschrocken fest, dass die Essgewohnheiten dieses Volkes ganz anders waren, als die der Deutschen. So gab es zum Beispiel zum Frühstück anstelle von Brot nur fettige Würstchen und einen Schleim, den die Engländer „Porridge“ nannten. Am schlimmsten war jedoch der Essig, den sie über ihre Mahlzeiten gossen. Kaum hatte Goethe den Speisesaal nach dem Frühstück verlassen, erblickte er zu seinem Entsetzen viele kleine unschuldige Kinder, die in einer Uniform gezwängt vor ihm standen. Man konnte keinen Unterschied zwischen den einzelnen Schülern erkennen. „Habe nun, ach! Philosophie, Juristerei und Medizin und leider auch Theologie studiert, aber so was habe ich noch nie gesehen!“, rief Goethe voller Besorgnis. Anstatt über die Schönheit der Literatur zu sprechen , wurden die armen Schüler wie beim Militär behandelt. Ihre Identität konnte man auf einer Karte erblicken, die sie stets um den Hals trugen. Diese Karte besaß besondere Zauberkräfte, da sie Türen wie durch ein Wunder öffneten. Goethe entschloss sich, nach diesem Schock einen Spaziergang zu machen, um „mehr Licht“ zu bekommen. Kaum war er jedoch im Außenbereich des Colleges angekommen, wurde er von einem Rudel Hunde, das den Lehrern der Schule gehörte, attackiert. Goethe versuchte ver zweifelt, die Hunde loszuwerden und starb fast vor Angst. Doch die umherstehenden Engländer, dieses seltsame Volk, waren von dem Anblick ihrer Hunde entzückt und statt Goethe zu retten, liebkosten sie ihre vierbeinigen Freunde. Goethe konnte dies alles nun nicht länger ertragen und wollte so schnell es ging dieses seltsame Land wieder verlassen. Er war gekommen, um die Engländer zu verstehen und mit ihnen zu leben, aber am Ende konnte er nur noch sagen: „Da steh ich nun, ich armer Tor! Und bin so klug als wie zuvor!“

READ ON TO FIND THE ENGLISH TRANSLATION

One day Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe travelled to England to visit Eastbourne College. However he was shocked that nobody had ever heard of him. Instead everybody was talking about a man called Shakespeare who was idolized by the population. Instead of talking about “the poodle’s real core”, here you only really heard the question “to be or not to be” everywhere. During his first day in England Goethe realised that the eating habits of this nation were very different from the German ones. Instead of bread there were only greasy sausages and a slime which the English people called ‘porridge’ for breakfast. However the worst thing was the vinegar which the

English poured over their food. As soon as Goethe left the dining hall he saw many little innocent children who were standing in front of him in uniforms. You could not identify any difference between the individual students. “I have studied Philosophy and Jurisprudence, Medicine and alas even Theology but I have never seen anything like that!” Goethe cried, full of pity. Instead of talking about the beauty of literature the poor children were treated like being part of the armed forces. You could see their identity on a card which they constantly wore around their neck. The card possessed special magical

tricks as it could open doors miraculously. Goethe decided to go out for a walk to get “more light” after this shock. But scarcely had he reached the outside area of the College when he was attacked by a pack of dogs which belonged to the teachers of the College. Goethe desperately tried to get rid of the dogs and almost died of fear. But the English who were standing around were delighted when looking at their dogs and instead of rescuing Goethe they hugged them.Goethe could not stand this any longer. He had come here to understand the English and to live with them but in the end he could only say: “And here, poor fool! With all my lore I stand, no wiser than before!”

SANDRA FUHRMANN