Lizzie Cass-Maran explains why the comedy club is the perfect place for a first date. First dates are crucial. You want to get to know each other in a relaxed atmosphere, without the pressure to be romantic. You want to have fun together and avoid awkward silences. You want a few drinks to settle your nerves, but not so many you forget your date’s name. You want to have plenty to talk about, but time to talk about it. Most of all, you want to get laid. Dinner and a movie? PassÊ. Follow my simple guide and find out why a night of comedy is the perfect plan.
And the getting laid? You’ve shared laughter and maybe a little light humiliation and are feeling like you’ve known each other for years. You feel relaxed, happy, and just the right amount of drunk. Do you really need to ask?
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What if it isn’t funny? What if we have different ideas of what is funny? The problem with comedy is that the only way to practise is to do it. My advice for a delicate situation like this is to stay away from new act nights and go to an established gig with experienced comedians (normally the weekend shows). You’ll see an array of quality acts and there’ll be something for everyone. If you do discover that the two of you have radically different senses of humour, then I’m afraid the relationship is pretty much doomed to failure. If the relationship is doomed to failure, knowing this on the first date can save a lot of time.
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So what’s so great about comedy? The general format of a comedy gig is: ‘drinking, comedy, more drinking, more comedy, drinking, more comedy, drinking.’ This is the perfect format for a date. The entertainment comes in short bursts and gets you laughing right away, which instantly calms you down and lowers your defences. Drinking is expected, but rounds at the bar are nicely spaced to avoid paralysis. During the break, you find instantly that you have plenty to talk about – discuss who you found funnier and why, and let the acts’ material sneakily segue you into talking about your own life. And you know what comedians talk about a lot? Sex. Perfect way to bring up the subject. Once you’ve laughed about it, doing it will be so much more relaxed. What if they pick on me? Contrary to popular belief, the main objective of your average comedian is not to make the audience members feel bad about themselves. The point of talking to the audience is to bond with them, personalise material and create a unique experience. Studies show that sharing laughter speeds up the bonding process as well as sending feel-good hormones careening through your body. This isn’t just good for the comedian, it’s good for you too. You’re bonding as a room, but you’re also bonding as a couple. If the act does mock your dodgy glasses, go with it. Being able to laugh at yourself is very sexy. And as you’ve been bonding so well, this mockery will stir up defensive feelings in your date and leave them quietly thinking about how actually, those glasses make you look kinda cute. The only time comedians are likely to be genuinely vicious is to silence someone who is behaving like a cock. If you behave like a cock, you may be made to look like a cock. So don’t behave like a cock (see above re: not drinking too much). This advice is pretty much good for all first dates, all comedy club experiences and also anything else ever.
COMEDY
Laugh them into bed
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Top 5 comedy shows for Valentine’s Day Steadfastly single or sickenenly entwined, there are plenty of laughs to be had around the country this February 14th. Check out our website for full details.
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EDINBURGH STAND YORK PLACE, EDINBURGH TOM STADE, MARK BRATCHPIECE, DAN NIGHTINGALE AND ANDREW LEARMONTH. HOSTED BY BRUCE DEVLIN
HALF PRICE COMEDY CLUB UISGE BEATHA, WOODLANDS ROAD, GLASGOW WITH ALAN ANDERSON AND PAUL PIRIE
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RUSSELL BRAND SECC, GLASGOW
COMEDY@ THE STATE STATE BAR, HOLLAND STREET, GLASGOW MC THE RAM, CHARLIE ROSS AND GUESTS
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FEBRUARY 2009
THE SKINNY 27