March 24th, 2011

McMASTER UNIVERSITY'S STUDENT NEWSPAPER

www.thesil.ca

THURSDAY, MARCH 24, 2011

FROM CAMPUS TO YOU AND BACK AGAIN

VOLUME 81, NO. 25

ER junior

MSU regroups with lobbying organizations Student reps go to OUSA and CASA meetings

EST. 1930

McMaster hospital Emergency Room to become children-only

JEMMA WOLFE

ASSISTANT NEWS EDITOR

McMaster Students Union Vice President (Education) Joe Finkle recently returned from OUSA and CASA conferences dealing with issues pertinent to McMaster’s student body.

OUSA (Ontario University Students Association) is an Ontariowide alliance that bring issues to the provincial government via advocacy and seeking policy changes to benefit university students. The MSU has been an integral part of OUSA for the past 10 years, working to create positive change for students at the provincial level.

Membership in OUSA is paid for through the MSU’s operating budget, and McMaster’s continued involvement is decided upon annually by the SRA. Finkle supports McMaster’s involvement with OUSA, stating that “it’s better to do things as a large group when it comes to student advocacy. For the issues that we address on the federal and provincial level, if we were to do it alone – basically just the MSU going to talk to politicians – it wouldn’t be as effective as if it’s seven schools and 140,000 students like it is with OUSA or 26 schools and 340,000 students as it is with CASA.”

He said their organization is more effective and substantial.

Finkle continued, saying the student lobby groups “have the capacity to do things that we can’t, simply because we all pool our resources.

They have a very well established resource capacity. They are very good at the advocacy that they do.

Working as a collective with many other schools from across the province and across the country it’s just more effective to get the student message across than if we were to all do it individually.”

Finkle attended the OUSA conference at Queen’s University from March 11 to 13 with seven other delegates from McMaster, to represent the MSU and collaborate on several policy reforms.

The meeting at Queen’s successfully passed three papers, the first of which was an update to the ancillary fees paper.

This is important to the MSU as it holds the University Administration accountable for fees implemented for courses and textbooks, as well as policies regarding ancillary fees put in place before 1993, which the MSU has no control over. This paper grants the MSU rights to call for a re-evaluation of those fees, and the ultimate removal of those fees that are no longer necessary.

SAM COLBERT

SENIOR NEWS EDITOR

The decision to make the McMaster hospital emergency room open only to kids on April 4 isn’t one meant to please the local community. The shift fits with a Hamilton Health Sciences (HHS) strategy to better serve the whole of Hamilton and its surrounding area.

“When you look at it from that perspective, we all can be really proud of what’s available here because many of these programs and services are second to none in the world,” said Jeff Vallentin, VicePresident of HHS in charge of Communications and Stakeholder Relations, about the changing Hamilton healthcare system.

The All the Best Care (ABC) plan to reorganize Hamilton hospitals started in 2008. Along with the closure of the Mac ER to patients 18 or over, the opening of a new Urgent Care Centre down the street at Main and Macklin is a major product of the plan. “We are at the tail end of an unprecedented amount of capital development – about $650 million worth of new infrastructure that we’ve put in place,” said Vallentin.

Hospitals in the city are becoming more specialized, he explained. “The days of every hospital being exactly the same as the others are long gone. Modern medicine • PLEASE SEE TUITION, A4 and the need to have high technolo-

gies in places means you can’t have one of everything in every place.”

The plan also addresses the need to deal with a limited number of health professionals.

The three other emergency rooms at the Juravinski, the Hamilton General and St. Joseph’s hospitals will continue to serve adults in Hamilton, which has a decades-old history of strength in healthcare.

With the exception of obstetrics, only same-day procedures will be available to adults at the McMaster University Medical Centre (MUMC).

The two urgent care centres in East and West Hamilton will accept patients with non-life-threatening, non-emergency health problems that are too pressing to wait for a family physician appointment.

Injuries or illnesses appropriate for urgent care rather than emergency rooms include cuts requiring stitches, sprains, infections and common viruses.

Like residents of West Hamilton, though, some McMaster students may have concerns with the loss of an adult ER on campus.

The Emergency First Response Team (EFRT), a student-run campus service that is intended to compliment Hamilton emergency response, will have to undergo a few operational changes. Ivan Pang, the EFRT Program Director, said that adjustments “will be done internally and to the students it won’t affect

anything. We will still provide the best care that we can provide, given our circumstances and given our resources.”

Some students who require immediate medical attention cannot be taken directly to the McMaster hospital emergency room after April 4. EFRT will need to make more use of ambulances in emergency situations. HHS has worked with students, though, to make sure the transition is smooth.

For students in McMaster’s various medicine-related programs, the ABC plan means new

JONATHAN FAIRCLOUGH / ASSISTANT PHOTO EDITOR

opportunities. All of Hamilton’s hospitals, and not just the one on campus, have teaching programs.

Andrew Marlowe is in third-year Nursing and looking forward to a placement next year in the paediatric emergency room at the MUMC. “Nursing students at Mac are getting a nice benefit from the change with two new options for clinical placements, urgent care [at the new Centre in the West End] and paediatric ER, that otherwise wouldn’t be available to them,” he • PLEASE SEE CITY’S, A4

On April 4, Hamilton Health Sciences will introduce key changes under its “All the Best Care” plan for a more efficient and effective healthcare system in the city: • The McMaster University Medical Centre emergency room will no longer be accepting patients 18 and over.

• A new Urgent Care Centre will be opening down the road from McMaster at 690 Main St. W. and will be operate from 8 a.m. to 10 p.m., seven days a week.

[This Week in the Sil] Speak intelligently Students should know how to develop their thoughts before speaking; stop butchering the English language.

Pg. A7

A getaway gap

Deals with the devil

Taking a year off after graduation may be your best bet for future success and the experience of a lifetime.

Pg. C1

Should corporations continue trading oil with politically unstable countries?

Pg. C7

This is a paid advertisement from the MSU.

the

PRESIDENT’S PAGE Nick Shorten VP (Finance)

Mary Koziol President

Joe Finkle VP (Education)

John McIntyre VP (Administration)

DEMANDING MORE VALUE FOR TUITION With a provincial election on the horizon, the time is upon us to consolidate the efforts put forth by students to impact the tuition model and truely lobby for change Joe Finkle VP (Education) vped@msu.mcmaster.ca ext. 24017

It is fair to assume that tuition is a topic on the minds of every student. We all pay tuition. Most students are only a few hundred dollars from the breaking point (myself included). With this issue in mind, the question “what is the MSU doing about tuition?” is often posed.

The MSU, as your representatives to the university administration and all levels of government, has been tackling the issue of tuition for years, and this year is no exception. The reality is that high tuition is a direct result of low government funding, meaning the real fight for lower tuition lies with the provincial government in Toronto.

While the University administration sets

the individual tuition at McMaster, the majority of funding for the University and all Ontario universities comes from the provincial government. Thus, the MSU set its sights on Queens Park for substantial action on the tuition question.

This has been in partnership with the Ontario Undergraduate Student Alliance (OUSA), a provincial advocacy body of which the MSU is a leading member. Together with seven other institutions representing over 140,000 students, we are consistently taking our concerns to the government.

Now, why have OUSA and the MSU not demanded an immediate decrease to tuition in Ontario? The answer is a pragmatic one: to allow our universities to plan for the future. The government has established a multi-year tuition framework that expires at the end of the 2011-2012 academic year.

While this framework has been in place, the MSU and OUSA, while never ignoring tuition, have temporarily shifted focus to saving students money in other areas. This has included monitoring ancillary fees, getting $81 million in new student aid and reforms, $310 million for more spaces at our institutions, the textbook and technology grant and distance grant, and $150 million investment in university infrastructure, to name a few. Now that the 2011-2012 year is nearly upon us, the focus will shift back to a strong, concerted effort on tuition review.

We have a provincial election coming up and the current tuition model is expiring. This is an unprecedented opportunity for students and student leaders to make a major impact on tuition. Students must - and I cannot stress this enough - participate in the

upcoming provincial election. The provincial government provides billions of dollars to post-secondary education and regulates tuition in Ontario. By showing up, asking questions and demanding answers and promises, candidates cannot ignore us. Student leaders need to be working with OUSA and our partners in the higher education sector to ensure the new tuition model will unquestionably benefit students. I will be stressing to my successor that this has the makings of a watershed moment for post-secondary education.

The MSU will approach the topic of tuition with open minds, educated solutions and with the absolute best interests of students in mind.

Regardless of the party that forms the next provincial government, it is up to us to demand change of the leadership that represents us.

Annual awards recognize outstanding dedication to student life Winners demonstrate commendable contributions to the McMaster University community John McIntyre VP (Administration) vpadmin@msu.mcmaster.ca ext. 23250

Two nights ago, the MSU and McMaster University hosted the 31st Annual Student Recognition Night to bring together student leaders from all across campus in celebration of significant accomplishments from the 2010/2011 year. First off, I would like to congratulate all of the student leaders for your hard work and dedication.

The reason we are all so proud to say we are from McMaster is because of the contributions you have made to this school. There are countless student leaders on our campus deserving of recognition for their hard work, so let me sincerely say thank you to everyone one of you.

It is especially encouraging for me to see so many student groups that are influencing positive change within the local, national and/or global community.

All of the nominees for our awards were outstanding student leaders with

significant accomplishments over their year. We have included a list of nominees and winners below to acknowledge their contributions to student life at McMaster: The Honour M, the highest award that the McMaster Students Union (MSU) bestows, in recognition of outstanding leadership, volunteer service, contribution and/or special achievement in extra-curricular activities. Recipients of the award are admitted to the McMaster Honour Society.

Shane Balthazaar Andrew Caterine Neil DePass Amber Dubois Kyle Empringham George Farjou Gagandeep Fervaha Heather Fisher Stephanie Kellowan Igor Knezic Mary Koziol Aspasia Manos Chris Martin Vishal Tiwari Matt Wright

The Rudy Heinzl Award of Excellence is presented in recognition of an outstanding one-year achievement which improves the lives of students at McMaster University:

contribution to charitable giving at McMaster University: Engineers Without Borders McMaster Doctors Without Borders McMaster Arts for Children Open Circle Smiling Over Sickness

2010-2011 MSU Board of Directors Jacob Fink Caity Heath Stephanie Kellowan

The MSU Spirit Award is presented annually to the campus group that has demonstrated superior spirit:

The MSU Merit Scholarship Award is presented annually in recognition of outstanding and valuable service to university, student, or residence governments, departments, clubs, societies, charities, or athletics.

AEISEIC McMaster Edwards Hall McMaster Arts for Children McMaster Marching Band McMaster Social Sciences Society Ontario Universities Competition for Hip Hop (O.U.C.H.) Society of Off-Campus Students (SOCS)

Richard Cioci Mandeep Dhalla Nashwa Khan Aspasia Manos Alvand Mohtashami Huzaifa Saeed

Congratulations to all of the nominees and award winners for their hard work and dedication throughout the year. This organization would simply not function without the concerted efforts of the aforementioned individuals and groups.

The J. Lynn Watson Award for Community Service at is presented to a different campus group each year, that has made the greatest one-year

WINNER’S CIRCLE: Honour M

Rudy Heinzl Award of Excellence

MSU Merit Scholarship Award

Part-time manager(s) of the year

J. Lynn Watson Award for Community Service

Neil DePass Heather Fisher Mary Koziol

2010-2011 MSU Board of Director

Richard Cioci Nashwa Khan Alvand Mohtashami

Jacob Fink (Maroons) Katie Ferguson (SHEC)

Smiling Over Sixkness

MSU Alumni Association Lifetime Leadership Award - Roger Trull, Vice-President of University Advancement

SRA Member of the year: Heather Fisher

the McMaster Students Union is

MSU Spirit Award: McMaster Marching Band

NOW HIRING www.msu.mcmaster.ca/jobs

The President’s Page is sponsored by the McMaster Students Union.

It is a space used to communicate with the student body about the projects, goals and agenda of the MSU Board of Directors.

www.msu.mcmaster.ca

THE SILHOUETTE • A3

THURSDAY, MARCH 24, 2011

Newsbites Compiled and Illustrated by Jasmine Keillor

Student Representation

Iarocci wins BoG election

The Unlikely Friendship of a Dangerous Duo I’m sure we all moaned and groaned a few weeks ago when the unpleasant time to push our clocks forward one whole hour for day light savings time had arrived. Well, according to a 1998 study, our dread filled grumbles over the hour of sleep we lose may not have been without serious validation.

The study, titled “Sleep Deficit, Fatal Accidents, and the Spring Shift to Daylight Savings Time,” postulates that the biannual shift in our clocks was most likely the instigator of a 17 per cent increase in car accidents that occurred on the Monday following the time change. The study suggests that this increase in accidents is most likely due to our body’s delay in adjusting to the change in schedule, causing our reflexes and decision-making abilities to slow right down; an impairment that may very well affect our driving abilities.

Incidentally, McMaster’s SHEC and EFRT were motivated to take a stand against exactly these sorts of accidents. On March 24 there was a gathering in the University Hall archway where they acted out realistic car accidents and the accompanying consequences in the hopes of raising awareness to prevent impaired driving. The demonstrations took place once an hour from 10:20 a.m. to 2:20 p.m.

No Big Deal it’s Only a Supermoon Last Saturday night, as usual, the sun settled beneath the glowing horizon and the winter air relished in its last few breaths of the season as it waited on the morrow’s spring. But though the street lights shone above the city streets as always, this was no ordinary night; for as the moon rose with the twinkling stars, the world held its breath.

This of course, was the night of the supermoon. Circling the earth at a distance of only 221,565 miles way, the moon was closer to our planet than it had been for almost 20 years. Technically speaking the term to describe the point at which the moon reaches its closest possible proximity to the earth is “perigee.”

Rumors had been flying that because the moon was to reach its perigee at a time only one hour away from when it would be at its fullest, catastrophe might strike in the form of solar storms and other natural disasters.

Luckily the optimists, such as McMaster’s assistant professor in the Integrated Science Program, Sarah Symons, prevailed. In a recent interview with the Daily News, Symons predicted that the supermoon would most likely be a harmless occurrence, and in the end her hypothesis couldn’t have been more accurate. Indeed the supermoon was nothing more than a majestic sight.

Air Powered Cars: The way of the future?

With its constant rise in price and its toxic effects on the environment when sputtered from the exhaust pipes of our current modes of transportation, it seems as though the many pitfalls of gasoline are forever accumulating. But what else can we use to fuel the cars and trucks we rely so heavily on to get around?

McMaster’s engineering students, who are a part of an international team competing in a contest to design the best sustainable, environmentally friendly vehicle, believe they have the answer: air.

McMaster’s young engineers are currently working on the design of a “compressed-air propulsion system” in the hopes of creating an engine that could function on little to no fuel. The competition is worldwide and consists of seven teams from 28 schools across the globe.

The McMaster team members are confident that the prospect of air-powered cars is more than plausible, and they even go as far as to say that such cars could very well be riding the roads within our lifetime.

Dodge! For a Good Cause: a Roaring Success On March 19, students from all across McMaster’s diverse and lively campus came together to participate in the University’s third annual Charity Dodge Ball Tournament: Dodge! For a Good Cause.

The event was a tremendous success, attracting over 200 people and 20 participating teams. More than $2,300 was raised by the event, money that is to be donated to the Autism Society of Canada, a not-for-profit organization dedicated to advocacy, public education and information sharing.

The Divisional championship teams of the tournament consisted of The Seeds, The Wolf Hunting Association and the Med Team. The BEAMERS took home the title of top fundraising MSU club, the Wolf Hunting Association scored the name of top fundraising residence and Farncomb was crowned the top fundraising team.

The event was brought to life with the help of donations and support from many local businesses such as Willy Dog, Brian Prince Bookstore, Albert Snow Hair Design, Moksha Yoga, University Lanes, The Hamilton Bulldogs, OPIRG, EB Games, McMaster Students Union and McMaster Athletics and Recreation.

JONATHAN FAIRCLOUGH / ASSISTANT PHOTO EDITOR

Melanie Iarocci celebrates her success in last week’s Board of Governor’s student election.

JEMMA WOLFE

ASSISTANT NEWS EDITOR

Third-year Psychology student Melanie Iarocci won last week’s election to serve as the Undergraduate Representative on the Board of Governor’s for the upcoming academic year.

The Board of Governors is the body responsible for the University’s financial planning, making decisions about tuition, funding allocation, and the financial health of McMaster in general.

Iarocci stated she was “looking forward to learning about the financial challenges that the university faces, and perhaps, answer any queries that the undergraduate students may have. I am looking forward to fulfilling my duties, and

situation permitting, being the voice the student ranks about tuition fees. of the students.”

Perhaps with a better understanding

She is also looking for- of the university’s financial health, I might be able to a have meaningful dialogue with the concerned parties.”

I was elated to

Iarocci has extensive and discover that I had diverse qualities to offer. She is a mature student, with previous exwon the election. I perience in the workforce in the felt honoured that fields of finance and human resources. She was born in South Africa, the students put and had spent many years in various their faith in me to foreign countries before recently represent them on settling in Canada and coming to McMaster. the Board

In response to her victory, of Governors” she stated, “I was elated to discover that I had won the election. I felt ward to dealing with the upcoming honoured that the students put their tuition issues, and said that “there faith in me to represent them on the has been recent discussion within Board of Governors.”

Budget 2011

Gov’t targets education Tory budget promises funds for education and research FARZEEN FODA

for part-time students will decrease from 2.5 per cent to zero, bringing part-time students in line with “The economy is emerging from full-time students, according to the the deepest, and most synchronized budget report. financial and economic crisis since Currently, part-time stuthe Great Depression.” dents incur interest on student loans

This blunt statement while studying, but full-time stusets the tone for the 2011 Federal dents do not. In an effort to make Budget entitled “The Next Phase of part-time education more affordCanada’s Economic Action Plan – A able, part-time students will no low-tax plan for Jobs and Growth,” longer be charged interest on their which was released on March 22. loans, bringing them in line with

The Canadian economy full-time students. has more than just recovered since

the 2009 recession. “More CanThe new budget adians are working today than before the recession,” according to plan aims to build the budget. The new budget plan on the current ecoaims to build on the current economic infrastructure, nomic infrastructure, while creating jobs for Canadians and fostering while creating jobs sustainable economic growth. for Canadians

With respect to student and fostering susloans, the new budget will introduce a change to the in-study income tainable economic exemption. Currently, post-secondgrowth.” ary students dependent on student loans who compliment their education with paid work, face a deduction in their loan with every $50 Part-time students are usually workthey earn. This exemption has been ing while studying, as such the new pushed to a reduction with every budget features a higher income $100 a student earns, allowing stu- threshold for loans and grants, aldents to get more out of their efforts lowing part-time students to earn to balance work and school. This slightly higher incomes and remain change to the exemption was among eligible to receive financial assistseveral recommendations put forth ance as they pursue a part-time eduby the student federal government cation. lobby group CASA (Canadian Al- These benefits are exliance of Student Associations) in pected to be in place by the start of 2010. the 2011 academic year. The federal

Interest rates on student government has allocated $34 milloans present a significant challenge lion to such efforts to increase the for students upon graduation. While accessibility of full and part-time CASA and other lobbying groups education to Canadians. have pushed for a decrease in inter- Other highlights of the new est rates for all post-secondary stu- budget that are of interest to unidents, a change in interest rates for versities include a host of research part-time students is underway. The funds that will be allocated to those interest rates on government loans areas experiencing high demand ASSISTANT NEWS EDITOR

and growth. NSERC (National Science and Engineering Research Council of Canada), CIHR (Canadian Institutes of Health Research) and SSHRC (Social Sciences and Humanities Research Council) will share $37 million, while an additional $10 million will be dedicated to covering the indirect costs of research such as maintenance and development of facilities as well as equipment.

Further funding into the research industry aims to incorporate colleges, facilitating collaboration between collages, universities and businesses to provide enriching learning opportunities for students while fostering innovative ideas in the private sector.

An additional $100 million will be devoted to a Brain Research Fund while $53.5 million will go toward the implementation of 10 new Canada Excellence Research Chairs, with a focus on areas related to Canada’s Digital Economy Strategy. The appointment of the research chairs will follow a highly stringent process for the competitive standing.

A further $10 million will be allotted to building Canada’s reputation on the international platform, promoting Canada as the destination of choice for international students and world-class research.

It is important to note that this budget was released by the Conservative government and awaits approval by members of Parliament. The opposing parties however, have already decided to vote against it. In the event that the budget does not pass, an election will be held.

The anticipated election date is May 2, and Stephen Harper is urging the opposition to back down to avoid an “unnecessary election,” according to the Toronto Star.

A4 • THE SILHOUETTE

THURSDAY, MARCH 24, 2011

Student Lobbying

Healthcare

Tuition a contested student issue

City’s hospitals looking to Finkle brings MSU concerns to student association conferences specialize • CONT’D FROM A1 of email campaigns targeted at McMaster President Patrick Deane and longer necessary.

Provost Ilene Busch-Vishniac to

The second paper is an demand a freeze of tuition prices. update to the student success paper, The group advocates for originally written by former VP a tuition-free post-secondary edu(Education) Chris Martin. It deals cation, but are currently concerned with online learning and new peda- with halting McMaster’s proposed gogies online. It also added recom- tuition increase. Student member mendations pertaining to funding Riaz Sayani-Mulji stated, “Right online learning modules such as the now our goal is to have a freeze in current system Avenue to Learn, tuition increases. Tuition in Ontario and also deals with ensuring the has increased 26 per cent in the past quality of faculty and new class- four years. The Board of Governors room technology. are meeting at the end of this school

The third paper to pass at year to vote to increase tuition anthe conference focused on breaking down barriers that hinder access to The fight with tuition education for Native students. With McMaster University’s close proxis with the provincial imity to the Six Nations Reserve, government. They this issue is of particular relevance to the MSU and the strength of the provide 70 per cent school’s First Nations Student Asof the operating sociation. This policy seeks to break grants for the Unidown motivational and historical barriers, calling for cooperation versity, they’re the between the federal government, ones who regulate which manages Aboriginal issues, the tuition.” and the provincial government, which handles education issues. It encourages consideration of more Aboriginal-centric courses, versus other five per cent, and we don’t the mainly Eurocentric courses cur- think that’s acceptable.” rently offered.

Another student member

Finkle also addressed the of Education for All, Ryan Sparrow, increasing student body concern re- added, “There needs to be a united garding rising tuition. “I completely student movement on the provinunderstand the frustration students cial and federal levels to resist the are feeling with tuition fees. Being tuition hikes. Regulated increase is a student myself, I’ve seen them go not the position that the majority of up and up and up, and that’s why students support. We need to be adwe’ve really been working hard vocating for tuition reductions.” with OUSA and CASA to tackle this This coming year presents issue,” he said. a viable opportunity to make a dif Student protestors from ference with province-wide tuition the group Education for All demon- increases opening up for debate. strated in the centre of McMaster’s Tuition framework is coming up for campus on March 22 about increas- renegotiation with the provincial ing tuition. They are a small student government in 2012. In preparation collective independently formed for this, OUSA will be presenting over recent weeks to raise aware- a tuition policy paper in the fall, ness and garner support in the form which will recommend appropriate • CONT’D FROM A1

tuition modifications to benefit the larger student body, according to Finkle.

He went on to explain that “next year’s going to be a really, really hard press for tuition because the framework’s up for discussion.

The fight with tuition is with the provincial government. They provide 70 per cent of the operating grants for the University, they’re the ones who regulate the tuition.”

He added, “[tuition] is too high, and we want to make sure that education remains affordable for everybody.”

Finkle stated that the issue with the administration is funding allocation. He said, “The fight with the administration is how they spend the money, and our focus there is… making sure that money isn’t being frittered away, that it’s going into stuff that’s going... to improve the student experience and improve student life on campus.”

Twelve hours after the OUSA conference ended, Finkle boarded a plane and headed to Vancouver for the CASA (Canadian Alliance of Student Associations) conference, during which the MSU was ratified as a full member of the organization. The Union had been an associate member since 2009, supporting and attending conferences dealing with advocacy for students on the federal level, but not enjoying voting power.

Finkle praised McMaster’s ascension to full membership in the body, and said, “We are leaders in OUSA, we have been for years, and now that we are officially members – full members – of CASA, I definitely see the MSU taking leadership roles there.” CASA was organized in 1995 and is a powerful voice in the federal government, advocating for post-secondary students across Canada. Finkle was proud to announce that McMaster will be hosting CASA’s Policy and Strategy conference this coming July.

What is OUSA? The Ontario Undergradute Student Alliance is an association of seven student unions across Ontario that are actively involved in research and advocacy pertaining to the needs and interests of Ontario undergraduate university students.

The MSU has been an active member of OUSA for years, and is one of the largest institutions affiliated with the provincial student lobbying group.

What is CASA? The Canadian Alliance of Student Associations serves as the voice of Canadian undergraduate students to the federal government. The alliance consists of student unions from across Canada. The MSU had been an associate member with CASA for two years, and this year the MSU has gained full membership.

Why lobby?

According to a CASA Membership Review by the MSU and the SRA, CASA’s strong reputation can be invaluable to the MSU. Lobbying at the federal level is vital to addressing issues of importance to undergraduate students, it says, adding that membership with lobbying groups allows McMaster to have a voice at all levels of government in the most cost-effective way.

Why not?

OUSA and CASA membership costs Mac students $53,600 and $47,000, respectively.

said. “I think that’s a really good thing because, for students who want to work in a specialized area of Nursing, being able to form specific skills now is very valuable.”

Hamilton is one of the few major Canadian cities not to have a dedicated paediatrics emergency room, even though it has a relatively high number of hospitals. The need, though, is there, said Vallentin.

“The turn-away rates at the McMaster Children’s Hospital have been too high, really, in a couple of areas: neonatal intensive care, paediatric intensive care and so on. We’ve had to deflect patients who needed or wanted to come here to London or Toronto or Buffalo or even Ottawa for that matter, depending on where there’s availability.”

A child-only facility means more than specialized equipment and a strong staff of paediatric doctors. “If you have a purpose-built facility that’s child-friendly – bright colours, friendly staff, staff who are dressed in a way that’s proper for greeting a child – it’s a very different experience,” added Vallentin.

A more specialized medical staff comes with other advantages, he continued. Neurosurgeons at Hamilton General Hospital have been able to share knowledge and each develop areas of sub-speciality. Concentrating area-specific equipment and technologies also makes the health system more efficient.

HHS has ramped up its advertising campaign on the ABC plan to make sure Hamiltonians are aware of the changes. Most adults that come unknowingly to the McMaster ER seeking treatment after April 4 will be redirected to a more appropriate hospital, but health professionals on campus will do what they can for any patient whose medical emergency requires immediate attention.

THE SILHOUETTE • A5

THURSDAY, MARCH 24, 2011

Campus Sustainability

SRA Elections

FARZEEN FODA

Recount and tiebreak conclude voting

Mills display raises awareness ASSISTANT NEWS EDITOR

“Instead of submitting a standard essay, getting a grade, and throwing it in a filing cabinet never to be consulted again, I think there’s a feeling of accomplishment that comes with this kind of service-learning project,” said Michael Egan, Professor in the Department of History at McMaster.

As part of Egan’s third year Arts and Science Technology and Society II course, students were challenged to take on an experiential learning project wherein students conducted a waste and energy audit on McMaster libraries, which tend to be among the busiest areas on campus. The project started with data collection pertaining to waste production and energy consumption at Mills, Innis and Thode libraries.

Students analyzed the waste disposal and energy consumption habits, developing strategies on how to make reductions in both areas.

Upon conclusion of the project, the class launched a “Library Energy and Waste Reduction Campaign,” which aims to raise awareness around the campus community about ways to reduce energy consumption and waste production while presenting findings of the research and making recommendations to McMaster libraries.

To kick start the campaign, students have set up a Coffee Cup Castle in Mills library and have used other forms of media to send the message out to students and faculty such as signs and posters, information tables and computer monitor

SAM COLBERT

SENIOR NEWS EDITOR

The March 17 runoff election of the SRA Generals pushed past the Constitution-imposed March 15 deadline for members to be elected, but it appears that the changes in results since the initial ballot count are going to stick.

Simon Granat and Maya Kanani initially tied for the final Social Sciences seat with 53 votes apiece. A one-day tiebreak election, in which students who had already cast a ballot could not vote again, took place two days later. The result favoured Granat 13 votes to seven.

Both Sandi Simoes in Commerce and Emily Bot in Engineering declined their seats after winning, triggering a recount in both Students build a Coffee Cup Castle in Mills library for a campus-wide sustainability campaign. faculties with their names omitmessages.

Sustainability while McMaster’s values this experience. “The school ted from the counting. As a result,

“This is really great be- libraries were looking into ways to doesn’t often teach you how to Adnan Ahmad won the third seat in cause it is initiated by students engage in energy and waste saving do this kind of project, the school Commerce and Brian Jamieson won and the students raise awareness projects. “This is a great example teaches you how to write an essay the fifth seat in Engineering. to other students, so students are of students using campus as a living … you definitely learn skills that Callen Clarke, Chief Remore likely to comply as we move laboratory,” said Kate Whalen, you don’t normally learn in a class- turning Officer of the MSU, was forward,” said Anne Pottier, Associ- Manager of the Office of Sustain- room.” unable to comment on the reason ate University Librarian, noting that ability.

This is not the first time for Simoes or Bot declining their this issue will hopefully be revisited Egan firmly believes that Egan has challenged his students seats on the SRA. next year and the University can “students’ creative energies and to a service learning project of this In defending their decision evaluate its progress. abilities far exceed what can typ- calibre. As his third experience with to break a bylaw that said the elc “The service learning ically be presented in a standard such a project, Egan noted that this tion must start by March 13 (it startproject is designed to get students research paper.” A service learning may be the most successful of his ed one day late), election officials in my class to apply their learning project like this encourages students attempts to incorporate this innova- originally made a point of obeying in real world settings,” said Egan, to take charge of their learning, tive style of evaluation. “My feel- the March 15 end date in the MSU noting that the project simply came taking the focus away from the pro- ing is that this kind of assignment, Constitution. Clarke explained that together at the right time. Egan has fessor, consequently transforming where students are asked to make the March 17 runoff date “could be been actively involved in projects the classroom experience. contributions outside the classroom, seen as a violation but considering pertaining to sustainability and thus Jill Horning, a student in leads to greater student effort and the tie was an unexpected occurcontacted McMaster’s Office of the Technology and Society class, investment.” rence I would say it’s a non-issue.”

JONATHON FAIRCLOUGH / ASSISTANT PHOTO EDITOR

Gateway Grad Program

OUA seeks talent for 2015 games

Program provides employment support for past university athletes VANAJA SIVAKUMAR

to create a legacy that supports and nurtures young talent, even after the Games are over.

Many undergraduate students Ten successful athletes around the globe have experienced each year will be awarded a twothe post-graduation blues, the un- year, full-time entry-level employsettling feeling between finding a ment contract to plan the games of job and going back to the comfort the 2015 event. Each grad student of school. This extreme anxiety hits is paired up with an executive-level university athletes hard who spend mentor who provides advice, aid, a dozen years and countless hours training and perfecting their skill, only to graduate and feel utterly The main goal of lost in transitioning to the corporate world. the Gateway Grad

The Gateway Grad ProProgram is to launch gram alleviates this stress consideran innovating new ably for university athletes. The Toronto 2015 Pan/Parapan American way to bring youth, Games (“TO2015”), alongside Onsport and expertise tario University Athletics (OUA), to the Pan/Parapan recently launched the Gateway Grad Program. This program proGames this upcomvides recent graduates with job oping 2015.” portunities in their respective sportrelated fields.

The program allows young and coaching and ensures that the athletes to gain valuable business Gateway Grads get the most out of experience and knowledge. Such their professional experience. jobs include areas in finance, com- Chelsey Gotell, a profesmunications, or media support, sional swimmer who has won 12 all related in planning and imple- Paralympics medals (three gold, menting the upcoming Pan/Parapan two silver, and seven bronze), four American Games hosted in Toronto World Championships, the 2007 in 2015.

Parapan American Games and

The main goal of the Gate- the 2006 Commonwealth Games, way Grad Program is to launch breaking multiple world records an innovating new way to bring along the way, is no stranger to the youth, sport and expertise to the world of athletics and has always Pan/Parapan Games this upcoming had a passion for sports.

2015. TO2015 support staff wanted After completing a degree THE SILHOUETTE

in Psychology at McMaster University, Gotell knew she had to find something else, an opportunity to give back and that is what she found in the Gateway Grad Program.

After her recent retirement, she now works as a Communications and Public Relations Associate on the TO2015 and is enjoying every minute of it.

“This program is most definitely a unique way to transition athletes to the corporate world.”

Gotell commented after inquiring about her personal opinions of the Gateway Grad Program.

The Grad Program is accepting new applicants in 2012 and the years leading up to the games.

A large support team is needed to put together this event and Gotell believes that young athletes already possess many of the skills required to be an ideal member of the Games planning team such as motivation, dedication, leadership, commitment, excellent time-management and passion for sports.

Interested applicants must be OUA athletes, graduating, and actively involved in sports within their individual universities. There are talks of opening up this program to community colleges but nothing has been confirmed as of yet.

“The great thing about this program is that it gives young athletes a lot of experience early on in their careers, which will only enhance their chances of success in Chelsey Gotell, Mac grad is now working for the 2015 games. the work field,” said Gotell.

SILHOUETTE FILE PHOTO

A6 • THE SILHOUETTE

THURSDAY, MARCH 24, 2011

EDITORIAL

editor’s extension: 22052 letters: thesil@thesil.ca

The Silhouette McMaster University’s Student Newspaper

ac happy

TheSil.ca

Editorial Board Executive Editor... Peter Goffin Managing Editor... David Koots Copy Editor... Katherine Marsden Senior News Editor... Sam Colbert Asst. News Editor... Jemma Wolfe Asst. News Editor... Farzeen Foda Opinions Editor... Cassandra Jeffery Sports Editor... Brian Decker Asst. Sports Editor... Fraser Caldwell InsideOut Editor... Natalie Timperio

So this is an inopportune moment to realize it, now that I’m just about to leave Mac, but I think we’re missing something that a lot of other schools have. And it’s not a building for the arts students, and it’s not a hockey team, and it’s not another famous scientist’s brain to keep Einstein’s company. We are missing a school song. No, it’s more than that. We are missing a homecoming parade. No, it’s more than that. And it’s less too. What we’re missing isn’t so tangible, even. What we’re missing is school spirit.

Now, I’m by no means the poster boy for enthusiasm of any kind, and particularly not of the academic variety. I’ve never gone to a Marauders game and I’ve never considered joining the peppy ranks of the frosh week reps. I only bought a McMaster sweatshirt in fourth year because I look so damn good in maroon. But I don’t think that makes me unusual. I don’t meet an overwhelming number of people around here who are radically and vocally proud to go to Mac. Not that they dislike it at all. Just that they don’t boast about it. They don’t clamour to have you know.

Somewhere within this observation is the possibility of a broad sociological statement. We could say that university-aged people are apathetic and unspirited as a demographic. But even a cursory look at other schools shows that isn’t true. Campuses to the East and West of us are swamped with loud outpourings of spirit. Queen’s University’s homecoming is so legendary that it’s become a tourist attraction, and so raucous that it has been shut down. Western has school-wide campouts. In tents, for Christ’s sake.

It’s hard not to construe those events as being immense displays of school pride, the type of which we here at McMaster don’t really have. I mean, what was the last can’t-miss event at Mac? And can we name even one real McMaster tradition that’s on the same scale as a Queen’s homecoming? Not really, no.

But, for what it’s worth, I don’t really mind. Yes the Queen’s homecoming is a wild, wild party and probably a great time, provided you don’t get arrested. And yes, I am well aware of the appeal of getting drunk and taking someone back to your tent, Western-style. But I don’t think I missed out by not going to either of those schools, and I certainly don’t think that having such events means that Queen’s and Western students enjoy their universities more than we enjoy Mac. It all depends on how you define enjoyment. If you put a heavy emphasis on parades and mass-attended events, then maybe Mac’s fallen behind our counterparts in London and Kingston. But if you’re talking individual satisfaction, which is probably a lot more important than spirit anyway, Macsters are as well off as anyone.

School spirit is nice but at the end of the day it’s just loyalty to an idea, some symbol, some name on a sign. And it is fleeting. What lasts is satisfaction in what you did on your own, what personal path you took, what personal achievements you reached. And Mac has that kind of satisfaction in big maroon spades. Everyone here has got their own scene. Mac students care, we get involved. We’re just scattered across several activities, that’s all. There’s a greater emphasis here on the individual experience. Some people are in clubs, some belong to religious groups, some belong to a team. There may not be many experiences we all share between the 22,000 of us but, on an individual level, we’ve each found our own nooks.

Like I said, I’ve never been a big proponent of perky institutional enthusiasm. But as I get very near to the end of my time here at McMaster, I’ve started to think more and more about how I fared, whether I performed well, whether university was all it could have been. And while I never did find a chance to wave the school spirit banner, I did satisfy my own needs. I accomplished my own goals, I found my own smaller communities within the bigger one. And I absolutely feel that I belong here. I don’t think I could’ve done that anywhere other than Mac. I got everything I wanted. I am happy. And because of that, I am prouder than I could ever be about any parade.

•

PETER GOFFIN

EXECUTIVE EDITOR

A plea for toughness Yes I know I should like it, classes getting cancelled and all. But I don’t. I don’t at all. Mostly because both times that snow has disrupted campus this semester, I’ve still had to drag my ass down here on the bus anyway. Because I have to do my job. And I get it, roads are dangerous and it’s cold out and nobody likes driving, walking, eating or sleeping when it’s snowing. But when you cancel classes, McMaster, you’re hurting the students. You give us false hope that every time there is any inclement weather, the school will shut down. And that means that every time there is inclement weather, everyone wonders aloud whether the school will shut down. That’s my biggest beef here. You, McMaster, are contributing to the panzification of the student body. With every cancelled class you make it more acceptable for people whine about snowfall. With every missed lecture you send the message that we’re not capable of functioning in the snow, which we. We are, McMaster. And even if we aren’t, I would still have to.

Because apparently I’m the one guy who doesn’t get to go home at 2 p.m. when it’s snowy.

Legal

Asst. InsideOut Editor... Kaitlin Peters Senior ANDY Editor... Roxanne Hathway-Baxter ANDY Music Editor... Dan Hawie ANDY Ent. Editor... Myles Herod Senior Photo Editor... Christopher Chang Multimedia Editor... Joy Santiago Asst. Photo Editor... Jonathon Fairclough Business Editor... Santino Marinucci Web Editor... Jason Lamb

Silhouette Staff Kevin Elliott, ANDY Trevor Roach, ANDY Victor Pek, Sports Sandro Giordano, Ad Manager

to the andy music magazine, available in this issue of the sil. to the approaching silhouette sports magazine. to snowmageddon part deux. to surviving two class three deathstorms in one semester. to learning, eventually. to santino “the mule“ marinucci. to robot fetishes. to inspiring robot fetish magazines.

All the best,

having some vague plan for the future. i think.

Peter Goffin xoxoxoxo

to the arrival of deodorant in my office.

The Silhouette welcomes letters to the editor in person at MUSC B110, or by email at thesil@ thesil.ca. Please include name, address, and telephone number for verification only. We reserve the right to edit, condense, or reject letters and opinion articles. Opinions expressed in The Silhouette are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of the editorial board, the publishers, or university officials. The Silhouette is an editorially autonomous newspaper published by the McMaster Students Union. The Silhouette board of publications acts as an intermediary between the editorial board, the McMaster community, and the McMaster Students Union. Grievances regarding The Silhouette may be forwarded in writing to: McMaster Students Union, McMaster University Student Centre, Room 201, L8S 4S4, Attn: The Silhouette Board of Publications. The board will consider all submissions and make recommendations accordingly.

YOU THERE! GET TYPING!

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Write for the Silhouette e-mail thesil@thesil.ca or come down to MUSC B110

AND ALSO...

Tune in to the Sil’s radio show every Friday at 2 p.m. on CFMU, 93.3 on your dial, cfmu.msumcmaster.ca on the web.

to the disappearance of the mystery pills in my desk. just when i needed you most... to the mac hospital being kids-only. where will i get my lollipops now? to eye protein. get out of there, man. to serching for photos of goiters, and finding them. to searching for photos of butt goiters and finding none. to the sudden lack of gum. to the sudden lack of coffee. to the sudden lack of liquor.

Section Meeting Times Photo Fridays at 3:30 p.m. photo@thesil.ca News Fridays at 1:30 p.m. news@thesil.ca Business Tuesdays at 12 p.m. business@thesil.ca Sports Fridays at 11:30 a.m. sports@thesil.ca InsideOut Mondays at 1:00 p.m. insideout@thesil.ca ANDY Mondays at 2:00 p.m. andy@thesil.ca Opinions Mondays at 1:15 p.m. opinions@thesil.ca

THE SILHOUETTE • A7

THURSDAY, MARCH 24, 2011

OPINIONS

production office extension: 27117 opinions@thesil.ca

Butchering the English language CASSANDRA JEFFERY OPINIONS EDITOR

I don’t necessarily consider myself to be exceptionally strong with words.

I have a knack for writing them down and putting together lovely sounding sentences; a combination of metaphorical alliterations and the use of a thesaurus. However, my ability to eloquently justify the English language ends with a literal period.

I am a terrible public speaker, I often stutter, talk too fast, or incoherently, and mumble far too much. My face turns a charming pink, almost red colour and I tend to get a little hot when I’m in an uncomfortable conversation. Even among friends, I trip over my words and frequently lose my train of thought, resulting in a very dazed and lagging conversation.

Only when I am completely comfortable in a situation and passionate on a subject will I be able to form coherent, intelligent sounding sentences. I’ve worked on my issues with words, trudging through class presentations and slowing down the rate at which I speak. Words and I have not always been the best of friends, but somehow we make it work.

Although I consider myself to be a recovering public speaker, I know there are individuals who exist in the world, running around butchering the English language far more than I ever thought possible.

Despite my faulty ability to recite words at an incredibly fast pace, I at least have a wide variety of words to recite. Have you ever sat in lecture and listened to an eager, much too-confident student voice their opinion while simultaneously butcher the English language? I’m talking about those kids who say “like” every five seconds or use slang, such as “yeah man” while attempting to drive home that Margaret Laurence’s

novel the Diviners is a post-modern masterpiece. To be honest, I don’t think they know what they’re saying half the time; to them, that 10 per cent participation mark is worth the constant word repetition.

Perhaps I shouldn’t judge to harshly, maybe these individuals I speak of are suffering from some sort of public speaking issue similar to myself. However, I somehow doubt that students who basically reiterate what the professor lectured five minutes prior into some form of ridiculous rant on the virtues of “like, Facebook, like” are in anyway self conscious of what is spewing from their mouths. The point of raising your hand in lecture or tutorial is to provide a new and different insightful point that is relevant to what the instructor or previous speaker has suggested. If you can do that, if you can develop your thoughts in an intelligent, coherent, and non-egotistic way, then kudos to you; you’re not one of the seemingly simple-minded students who still talks like an energized teenager.

My point is, we’re in university and we are all exposed to professors who influence us to portray our intelligence through our work; be it through essays, labs, or class participation. These professors and instructors of this institution interact with us, as adults, in properly, grammatically correct contexts.

When you’re hanging out with friends or on the phone with your mom then it doesn’t matter if you refer to your Saturday night escapades as “like the most totally coolest thing ever, like man.”

But when you’re in an academic environment, treat the English language with respect, because remember, it’s all about quality, not quantity. I don’t think you’re getting adequate participation marks for referring to Socrates as “like, the smartest guy ever.”

Not everyone can be an exceptional public speaker, but everyone has the ability to speak intelligently.

JOY SANTIAGO / MULTIMEDIA EDITOR

Appreciating the unappreciated JASMINE KEILLOR SILHOUETTE INTERN

It is nights like these that really get me riled up. Nights when the moon shines brightly and the winter trees dance beneath the blue-black sky and the cars are silent but for the faint whisper of a lonely siren in the distance.

The city is dead and limp but alive and roaring with activity. It is too early for the crickets, but the wind blows swiftly and the yellow grass rustles beneath the nervous feet of a furry rabbit as he scurries across the lawn.

The silence is painful, yet each tiny sound is loud enough to burst an eardrum. My house is asleep but I am awake. And all I can do is sit by my window and gaze at the night’s stars, barely visible through the thick smoggy air. I am antsy and restless and I can’t quite decide whether I’m exhaustedly overwhelmed or desperately underwhelmed. I conclude that, if it’s even possible, I am most likely both.

I just don’t know what it is about this eerie mixture of quiet and loud, sleepy and wide awake, calm and bustling, that so makes me want to get up and run away. Suddenly I can’t help but find myself dreaming

of midnight plane rides to Paris, where I could swoon in the city of love, or to London where I could stroll through Hyde Park on a nice breezy day or to somewhere hot and tropical where I could lie in the silky soft sand.

Suddenly I’m dreaming of excitement and adventure, of anywhere but here. Anywhere away from the smog and the steel and the factories and this Goddamn city of smoke.

I’m dreaming of lands where the sun shines brightly and the football teams win and the downtown strips are a picture of class and cleanliness.

I’m dreaming of lands where the air is crystal clear and the stars are abundant and bright and the beach water doesn’t turn your bathing suit brown during the summer months (thanks a lot Christy’s Conservation Area).

And then my mind begins to wander further, beyond the context of our sad little big city and its many ailments.

And pretty soon I’m dreaming of lands where brothers aren’t jerks and jobs don’t suck and skin tans, but doesn’t burn and bubble, and love lasts forever and cake has no calories and skies are bright and always blue.

And then of course comes the Aha! moment. Somehow, somewhere the inevitable light bulb goes off and suddenly I find myself wondering if the grass really is always greener on the other side, or if maybe, just maybe, I am being a little bit unfair here.

I think about this for a minute and I decide that the latter

shake my boring life up and down a few times until my whole world is overcome by newfound change and excitement.

But the thing is, this would never satisfy me; for even if I were to finally get my shiny new red shoes, I’d undoubtedly find myself wistfully longing for my old blue pair, the ones with the charming little hole on the right toe. It’s always the same old story.

I bitch about the city, but I Somehow, miss it when I go away. I bitch about somewhere the my brother, but I miss him when he inevitable light goes away too.

I complain because I don’t bulb goes off and have a job and then when I get one suddenly I find I complain because I hate my job. myself wondering I complain because I’m too pale but when I finally get a tan, if the grass really is I complain about my peeling skin. always greener on Winter is too cold, summer the other side.” is too hot. I’m in Florida but I wish I were in Hawaii, I’m a teenager but I wish I were a child, I have the flu is true. but I wish I had a cold.

The truth is, I can never It’s all too easy to find fault win. I set myself up to lose. I’m in our fickle lives. But I think that, always dreaming of something most of the time, most of us just bigger, something better, something jump on opportunities to complain. that I can’t have.

We give ourselves excuses to Something, anything, wallow in our self-pity. We dismiss that will grab my drab mundane our lives as boring and we strive for existence by both ears, give them something, anything, that is bigger a good yank and then proceed to and better.

I’ve come to realize, though, that most of the time there is nothing wrong with what we have.

Let us not forget that while winter brings cold and grueling morning waits at the bus stop, it also brings frozen ponds to skate on and hot chocolate to drink and fireplaces to sit around.

And while Hamilton may be referred to, all too many times, as the beloved armpit of Southern Ontario, when it really comes down to it, this is where I grew up and this is my home.

I have hiked through its forests, biked down its streets and lain on its crappy – I mean sandy – beaches. I have eaten its ice cream, I’ve shopped in its shops, and I’ve been taught in its schools.

There’s no denying that this city is a part of who I am, and one of these days I ought to learn to appreciate it for what it’s worth.

I think that when life is approached from this point of view most things start to look pretty good.

When you look at the bigger picture, the good tends to balance out the bad and sometimes, unexpectedly it even surpasses it.

Just keep telling yourself that, in the end, flowers can’t grow without the rainy days.

[This Week in Opinions] Sex sells, deal with it If we’re going to ban Rihanna’s “S and M,” then we’ll have to ban every other sexually explicit music video.

Pg. A9

Canadian food

Sexism between the sexes

What type of cuisine would define Canadian culture?

Are we really limited to maple syrup and poutine?

Despite common beliefs, sexist behaviour is an issue affecting both genders.

Pg. A10

Pg. A11

A8 • THE SILHOUETTE

What’s your

THURSDAY, MARCH 24, 2011

opinion?

In a new feature, the Silhouette asks members of Mac’s faculty what’s on their minds Compiled by Cassandra Jeffery

“Every day seems to bring new suggestions that digital media are changing the world and that today’s youth will need highly technical skills in order to excel. This is only a partial truth: tomorrow’s leaders will still need to be analytical, thoughtful and capable of expressing themselves eloquently. Critical thinking and the ability to adapt will always be in demand.”

Faiz Hirji Professor, Communications

"One hundred years ago the “new” medium of radio sparked concern over mass propagated messages. Fifty years later with TV, McLuhan said the medium is the message. In a Facebook age is surveillance of our media consumption the new audience message/massage?"

Philip Savage Professor, Communications

Next time, pack a PB&J SARAH GLOVER OPINION The hockey mom of two, at the local sports bar for her son’s winning game after-party, had waited too long for her food. An hour was too much. She stormed into the kitchen in a fit of rage, yelling about how her children have waited too long and they are going to starve if they don’t get their food immediately.

Overhearing this, I first covered my mouth to hide my look of total shock and promptly turned to hide my face, red from embarrassment for this woman, red from boiling anger. I closed my eyes so tight, so tight, to hold in my thoughts and not speak what I was thinking. As I walked away I screamed to myself “How dare you?!”

After hearing this woman

complain, images flashed through my head. Bedu, a Haitian two-yearold, has a family with no money and no food. She and her brother share a piece of bread for the day.

Milouse, a 26-year-old Haitian, split boiled water, a loaf of bread and a banana between she and her eight other family members. Perla, a seven-year-old Mexican girl who always begged for water because her family didn’t have enough that was fresh and clean.

Injustice makes my blood boil. There is a possibility that I am merely biased and making radical comments because I’ve gone and I’ve seen. I lived in a compound in Haiti after the earthquake, I lived on an island in Panama, and in a village in the middle of the Panamanian jungle. The methods that people there have of berry picking, sugar

cane carving, fishing, and crocodile hunting take a lot longer than an hour, trust me. And they never once complained. This summer I’m going to Ethiopia to live in a leper colony located in a garbage dump.

They eat the garbage.

Call it cliché or call it real life, but there are starving kids all over this world, joyfully eating their piece of nothing; and I mean these are the happiest people you will ever encounter. Yet, this woman at the sports bar, and the society she represents, complains that she hasn’t gotten her seven-cheese ravioli pasta, up-sold with cheese toast and a side order of nachos and fries. To top it off, she says her children are starving. I know some people who can give you a better definition of starving then this woman and her two sons.

Not saying I know firsthand, but I’m going to take a risk and assume that those who are starving don’t complain about waiting an hour for food.

The world is facing a hunger crisis unlike anything it has seen in more than 50 years. There are 925 million hungry people out there and those are just the ones accounted for in 2010. Every day, almost 16,000 children die from hunger-related causes. That’s one child every five seconds. According to these statistics, and if I do my calculations right, there are 60 seconds in one minute which means that 12 children die each minute, and 720 die in one hour. Seven hundred and twenty.

There were 1.4 billion people in extreme poverty in 2005.

The World Bank estimates that the

spike in global food prices in 2008, followed by the global economic recession of 2009 and 2010, has pushed between 100-150 million people into poverty worldwide.

Dear woman, use your voice for something that matters.

The ability to raise your voice when you feel there have been injustices is advantageous; but use your voice for the cause at hand. Complain about hunger, but complain about the hunger of the nations.

My apologies, thanks for your patience, can I discount your meal for you, or give you a free dessert, or better yet, give you a meal on the house?

I can’t believe the world today. Next time, pack a PB&J sandwich when going out for dinner. God forbid you and your family might “starve.”

THE SIL WILL BE HIRING FOR ALL EDITOR POSITIONS IN APRIL. GET YOUR RESUMES AND COVER LETTERS READY! thesil@thesil.ca

THE SILHOUETTE • A9

THURSDAY, MARCH 24, 2011

Sex sells, deal with it ANGELICA TARLI OPINION

In a recent drive with my mother, the ever so controversial single “S & M” by Rihanna blasted from the speakers. Without hesitation, my mother changed the station and proceeded to lecture on how rude and inappropriate that song was, adding in how the video was banned in 11 countries. Now, my mother’s music knowledge is pretty limited for anything past the 1980s, so I spared her MY lecture, but my rant was just getting started.

“Cause I may be bad, but I’m perfectly good at it, sex in the air I don’t care I love the smell of it, sticks and stones may break my bones but chains and whips excite me.” The hard steady beat played loudly as I viewed this “banned” video online. Images of Rihanna prancing around sexually with whips and latex flashed before me.

Her video includes her tugging around a man on a leash, and holding tied men hostage for pleasure and torture purposes.

In all honesty I was disgusted. By the lyrics? No. The video? No. What pissed me off the most was the fact that this video was banned.

Yes it’s sexual. Yes it’s controversial. Yes, we get it. It’s “In-your-face-let’s-tie-you-downsex-you-up-work-it-girl-talk-dirtyto-me” type of wrong. But so was 50 Cent’s “Candy Shop.” And Justin Timberlake’s “Sexy Back.”

Lil’ Wayne’s “Lollipop.” Ludacris’s “How Low Can you Go.” Akon’s and Eminem’s “Smack That.”

Pitbull’s “Hotel Room Service.”

Enrique Iglesias’ “Tonight.” Flo Rida’s “Low.” Kanye West’s “Gold Digger.” Jamie Fox’s “Blame It.” You get the point.

Each and every one of these videos portrays women in skimpy little outfits grinding up on poles and whatnot, flaunting their bodies. Each of these videos are disgusting, degrading, and full out inappropriate. They’re like mini porno clips streamed onto channels around the world. And that’s just the visuals – add in the lyrics and you got yourself a real winner.

Streaming together a few of these songs, the message is pretty much the same. “Please excuse me, I don’t mean to be rude, but dirty babe, you see the shackles baby I’m your slave. I’ll let you whip me if I misbehave. So smack that, right on

the floor, smack that give me some more. And I’ll take you to the candy shop, I’ll let you lick the lollipop.

Go ‘head girl, don’t you stop. Keep going ‘til you hit the spot. You know I like to touch your lovely lady lumps. So forget about your boyfriend and meet me in the hotel, and you can bring your girlfriends and meet me in the hotel.” Classy, or what?

So where’s the big fat “Banned” stamp for these videos?

Where’s the “Can only be played on radio stations after 7 p.m.?”

Nowhere, that’s where. Rihanna reportedly claimed her video has nothing to do with sex but rather it is about “metaphorical sex.” But personally that doesn’t even matter.

What matters is the fact that all the videos mentioned above, along with countless others, display the same level of raunchiness.

And that’s the problem.

You want to ban a video for being too sexual, then ban all the videos that are too sexual.

You want to ban a video with explicit language, ban all the videos with explicit language.

You want to ban a video that is degrading, ban all the videos that are degrading. All of them. Don’t pick and choose, because what message is that sending? That some sexual videos are classier then others? That some offensive songs are worded better? Yea, because that makes sense.

“S & M” is unmistakably a dirty video and song. But it’s not nearly the dirtiest out there. True, it’s not the only one to be banned in certain countries but it shouldn’t be part of a minority. The lack of consistency with banning a video does nothing to anyone. What someone can’t see on one, they can certainly see on the other.

Banning one video isn’t going to stop a billion dollar music industry from continuing to produce this type of work. Banning one video isn’t going to stop people from watching it. In fact it draws more attention to it.

Banning one video won’t stop a teenager from trying sex and experimenting. Banning one video solves nothing. So ban it all, or ban nothing.

Sex sells. We all know it. And until the music industry gets forced to show some class, be prepared for some steamy new videos, coming to a television near you.

WIKIMEDIA COMMONS

Rihanna’s hit single S and M is an explicitly sexualized video, but so is everything else by 50 Cent.

Give the phone a break Stop letting the superficial worries in life hold you back NICHOLE FANARA SILHOUETTE STAFF

People sitting on the bus in the morning can be defined by one of two types. The first type is staring off into space with their music blasting in their ears while trying to remain oblivious to everything around them.

The second type has their cell phones out, waiting semi-patiently for someone to remember them and text, or call, or pursue them through any other of the million social networking possibilities to express their care and concern.

Everybody wants to be acknowledged: nobody wakes up in the morning and hopes they will be forgotten. It’s a lonely world.

I think sitting on a bus with a cell phone clutched in one’s hand is the epitome of loneliness.

You can’t tell me there’s absolutely nothing else you can do for the 15 or 30 minutes while you are on your own while waiting to get to school?

Sure, maybe you really do need to “be there” for your friend at 8:30 in the morning, or perhaps you are waiting for an important call. But honestly? Circumstances are rarely this.

Here is to challenging this sad picture. What are we all so worried about that stops us from making the first move?

If you want to talk to someone that early in the morning, about probably nothing important, then just do it.

Is it a question of strength – who can hold out the longest while trying not to appear needy?

Or is it just simply “I don’t want to appear needy because I know you probably don’t need me?” Perhaps there is another way of looking at

this.

I can be hypocritical and this is definitely one of those

What are we all so worried about that stops us from making the first move? If you want to talk to someone that early in the morning then just do it.” times. I too am guilty of waiting for someone to text me that early in the morning, whether it be a simple “Hello” to show that they care, or anything else they can think.

Depending on people for your

happiness, however, is a really bad idea, because they will most likely let you down.

So instead, I tried something new. I sat down – for once, there weren’t a ton of people – blasted my favourite jazz singer and took out a book that, get this, wasn’t a school text. And you know what? I had a fabulous morning.

The book was funny, my music selection was perfect, and I can honestly say that as I got off the bus, I was in a pretty good mood.

I didn’t have to deal with any drama, and I didn’t have to sit and wonder what everyone else was doing.

I’ll honestly admit that I usually watch people on the bus, but I find that others find this slightly creepy. So I opted for a book this once, and I’m glad I did.

All I am saying here is this: a morning commute doesn’t have to

be stressful or disappointing.

I know that when your knuckles are white from holding that life line, you’re not doing so great on your own.

But I find that sometimes, with a little distraction, you can start to learn to understand yourself and what makes you happy.

Some of my best selfreflection time happens on the bus, and this doesn’t have to mean expecting anything from anyone.

So the next time you’re waiting for that text from your crush, don’t.

And don’t tell me I’m crazy for calling your bluff.

They will get back to you whenever they do, and your day shouldn’t revolve around that. Let it revolve on whatever it is that makes you happy, even if that means pulling out a novel, not a school text book, for a good old fashioned escape.

A10 • THE SILHOUETTE

?

What’s your idea of Canadian food?

THURSDAY, MARCH 24, 2011

What’s Canadian, eh?

The Italians have pasta and pizza and we have poutine?

“First Nations food.”

Shen Storm

Feedback

“Maple Syrup.”

Meghan Graham

“Burgers and fries.”

JOY SANTIAGO / MULTIMEDIA EDITOR

Canadians eat a variety of cuisines and specialty dishes, but do any one of these define our country?

Zain Khan

ANDREW TEREFENKO SILHOUETTE STAFF

“Timbits.”

Mariette Lee

Compiled by Cassandra Jeffery and Christopher Chang

There’s a bad taste in my mouth. I’d like to be able to say it’s because of the Canadian food I had last night, but that isn’t quite true. For all the national pride and apathetic patriotism we exhibit, we can’t be bothered to establish a food that is representative of our country.

Before I begin hearing shouts from the poutine lobby, sticking gravy and cheese on top of the Belgian-born fried potatoes does not constitute a unique food in its own right. In a similar petition, maple syrup isn’t ours either, because it technically belongs to the aboriginal people who were here before us. I find it shocking to accept that, as one of the top 10 economies in the world, we do not have a food item that is distinctive of Canada.

Each of the other nations in that list boast very distinctive

cuisine, such as China’s Dim Sum and mastery of all things noodle and soy, Japan’s eternally exquisite sushi, and Germany’s Sauerkraut.

The United States is kind of hard to place, but not in the same sense as us, because even they lay claim to fast food in general and the unique ways they prepare beef and pork, such as deep frying. It seems as though, like many things, we are left lumped in with America because we don’t have anything quite so different.

I don’t even mind if it’s something terrible. I really don’t.

If Norway can terrorize their world with the fermented raw salmon Rakfisk, then why don’t we have something equally as horrifying?

Granted, it’s hard to have a distinct food when you aren’t quite as geographically diverse as those other countries on the list, but if each of the Scandinavian countries can dish out something staggeringly

opposite than its neighbour then I certainly hope we can make one thing different than our single one.

What I find most surprising is the most distinctive food we have as a country, comes from the one province that time and time again, has wanted nothing to do with the country as a whole.

Maybe we can take a lesson from our Quebecois brethren and steer ourselves away from foreign influences to create one for ourselves.

We already have so many problems with national identity, let’s not let food stay one of them, so my suggestion is we take something like the timbit, cover it in vinegar and crush it under a barrel for a week and call it Canadian sour donut discs. Even if it becomes a meal only a vulture could enjoy, it would be our food inside that vulture, and that’s something for which we can be proud.

THE SILHOUETTE • A11

THURSDAY, MARCH 24, 2011

Sexism between the sexes OLIVIA DORIO OPINION

Every day it seems we are bombarded with messages about how we should strive for equality while annihilating discrimination.

However, in the rush to secure underprivileged groups with equality we can take things too far and in society’s haste to prevent sexism, women can be given unfair advantages.

Last week’s Silhouette article on NDP Member of Parliament Chris Charlton’s visit to campus stated that, “Regions in British Columbia have adopted the highly progressive but contentious policy to fill the seat of any male incumbent that has retired, resigned or lost, by a woman until 50 per cent of all seats are held by women.”

The inherent problem with this is that the best candidate for the job very well may not be female.

The holder of any political office should, in theory, be the best suited and most qualified for the job. If it happens to be a women, then fantastic. If not, then a qualified man should get the position. I’m sure we can all agree that it’s unethical to ignore a qualified female candidate and give the position instead to a man simply because of the genitalia he possesses. How then is it not equally wrong to favour females over more qualified males? Sexism is not a sexist term and can go both ways.

It is clear in any third world country that women are sometimes extremely disadvantaged, but this is significantly less true in first world countries. Girls have been known to significantly outperform boys in the classroom and there are few professions that they cannot enter, barring priesthood. Therefore, the most logical explanation for the shortage of females in some professions is that the job does not appeal to the majority of women, not because they are deterred from entering it because of discrimination.

There are fundamental differences between the sexes that would be negligent to ignore. To name a few, men are generally physically stronger than women, and women tend to have a much greater nurturing instinct. It’s basic evolution.

The man hunts saber tooth tigers while the woman cleans the cave and minds the babies. Clearly we have progressed past this stage

but these tendencies are still part of our DNA.

These inherent qualities make women and men more inclined, and more suitable, to certain professions over others.

Of course many women have no desire to have children and men can be wimps. Overall, however, professions that involve child care are filled mainly by women while jobs that require strength are better suited to men. As horrible as we all believe stereotypes are, in this case they are in place for a legitimate reason.

The unfortunate thing with stereotypes, however, is that it can be difficult to distinguish those for whom they do not apply. If it came down to two individuals equally qualified for the position of early childhood educator, one male and one female, who would be more likely to get the job? And it would be significantly more difficult to cry sexism, because men are the ones with all the supposed advantages in our society.

As Charlton points out, women do face more scrutiny when holding public office than men do and the unfairness of this is hard to contest. However we tend to focus only on the female side of the coin, and look at all the difficulties women face because of sexism.

Men, however, are not immune to typecasting, and they have an even more difficult time expanding out of their traditional roles. While a woman can work in or out of the home with little or no condemnation, it is far less socially acceptable to be a stay-at-home dad.

A woman can live off her husband’s income with no eyebrows raised but a man cannot do the same without mockery.

It is becoming increasingly acceptable for women to expand into the domain once reserved exclusively for men, while it is not nearly as easy for a man to take on women’s traditional roles.

Girls can wear men’s clothing and be called nothing worse than the vaguely insulting term tomboy, while a boy dressing up in female clothes would receive far more offensive insults.

Double standards do certainly exist, but our society seems to labour under the impression that women are the only ones at a disadvantage. Undoubtedly, sexism is still prevalent even in first world countries, but women are not its only victims.

Society needs to recognize that sexism occurs at both ends of the spectrum.

JOY SANTIAGO / MULTIMEDIA EDITOR

How will karma affect you?

Good or bad, the energy you give off will find its way back to you JENNA SHAMOON SILHOUETTE STAFF

Most of the beliefs I’ve held throughout my life have never been consistent. I still have a long path of life ahead of me, giving me plenty of opportunities to change what I believe or think. But the one thing that I will never lose my belief in is the power of karma.

I have constantly seen examples of karma occurring to those around me, whether they had done something bad or good. All I know is that the boomerang effect of karma affects everyone, and the key to dealing with it is to know that it exists.

Most people’s ideas of karma deal with mostly an action towards someone else. If you do something bad to someone else, something bad will happen to you, right? But what people don’t realize is that it’s also the emotions that you feel or the thoughts that go through your mind that affect you.

Karma is not just about the

other person, and it’s not just about an action; it’s made up of thoughts and vibes that mess around with the natural energies of the universe.

Whenever you send negative energy out into the world, it will come back to you even worse.

I have met many peers who at some point were angry people, just wanting to bring a sense of negativity because of whatever was going on in their life.

But what they don’t realize is that the negative energy they are giving out is only coming back to them, continuing this vicious cycle of anger, loneliness, and angst.

Nothing ever satisfies them, and nothing ever seems to pick up and get better.

Why? Because they are ignoring the existence of karma and are refuting the idea of becoming happier, therefore justifying their self-loathing marathon.

They also don’t realize that their own issues affect those around them. If people are around a negative person, they will soon

in my life, these are the people who make me realize that the world isn’t going to hell.

And when these people bring these positive attitudes into my life, I exchange my own personal feelings of happiness and it only gives fuel to a continued cycle of joy rather than anger. This That boomerang creates a new cycle; one that’s full that you fling out of optimism and hope.

They have happy lives into the cosmos will because they bring happiness only come back and into the lives of others. And this hit you harder. The positivity helps all of us, and becomes like a trigger. Whenever key is to sit back, one of us feels as if the world is relax, and collapsing on us, we’re always appreciate the great around to automatically boost that person up, destroying any bad things in life.” energy.

It also makes each of us in a great way. There are many of stronger, because we can depend my friends who are bright, positive on ourselves to look for the silver people who bring so much into the lining, no matter what we go through. lives of other people.

The power of karma is not

These friends, to me, are truly inspiring. No matter how just an exchange of good or bad miserable I feel about petty things energies; it is the ability for one feel that same negative energy, contributing to this never-ending path of contempt.

However, there are those who put out good energies into the world and it comes back to them

to realize that life is what you put into it. When you are a person full of contempt, anger, or vengeance, your life will be a constant parade of all these negative qualities, never reaching a destination of true happiness or joy.

But when you put your anger aside and try to find the good in life, it will make you more progressive; never leaving you stuck in a state of disdain.

In the end, being angry in life – especially over things that are not worth it – will not benefit anyone; not you, not your friends, not your family, not your hairstylist, not your doctor, and not your therapist.

That boomerang that you fling out into the cosmos will only come back and hit you harder.

The key is to sit back, relax, and appreciate the great things in life.

Life is full of joys that we haven’t even discovered yet. The only way to get there is to let go of all the baggage you’ve been carrying. It can really get heavy after a while.

A12 • THE SILHOUETTE

SpeculatoR The Hamilton

THURSDAY, MARCH 24, 2011

INSIDE THE SPECULATOR Ultrasound images.

Look, I’m waving. With one finger.

Thursday, March 24, 2011 F Leaking everywhere since 1930 .

Running start McAsster mascot hopefuls ooze charm in attempt to fill opening JIZZY CARMICHAEL SPECULATOR

Spring has sprung, and with this new season comes allergies, animal fornication and the search for a new mascot for McAsster. “It’s time for a change,” says the Head of McAsster Teams, Clubs and Gangs, Robert “Tina” McDonald. “We’ve been sitting on this one for a while, but we’re just now making the final push. It’s going to be a tight competition, but we think that the final outcome will be extremely satisfying.”

McAsster, the Flamborough-based school that gained its independence from McMaster in 2007, has considered it important for their image to have a mascot all their own. They are dropping their former mascot, Izzy the Irregular Iguana, who has been controlling school spirit since the university’s conception.

The retirement is difficult for both the student body and faculty, but his continuation as mascot was coming at his expense. “He just couldn’t take the strain. We decided to take the pressure off. With the exam period coming up, we wanted him to be able to keep his head above the water,” McDonald stated.

There are two main contenders squatting at opposite corners of the ring, hoping to take home the title and over-sized felt and nylon suit.

Herbert Alvarez-Chung of the McAsster Hemorrhoid Association (MHA) is clenched and fighting for Roy the Roid to become the first new mascot in the school’s four year history. “The MHA would

be proud to serve as a mascot. We can’t sit still in the stands and Roy would run around the field like he was trying to make a dash for a bath of Epsom salts. We wouldn’t let the school spirit shrink.”

There’s strong competition from Goiter Gus, the Centre for Student Growth and Protuberances’

entry to the mascot race. Their president, Kathy St. Clair is advocating for Gus to inflate crowds and raise both the voices and fill the seats of McAsster. “We think he’s adorable, with his pink hue and big blue eyes.”

There was controversy earlier this year over a bid that the

CSGP made, which St. Clair has met with a begrudging acceptance.

“We had to tone down our original suggestion of naming the team The Butt Goiters, because it makes the university a little bit squeamish.

They don’t seem to appreciate that it’s a real problem that needs attention and ointment. If Gus isn’t

chosen, we might have to file a complaint under the Persons with Lumps Act.”

Students will be able to go to the polls next week to put in their vote for the mascot race. The winner will be introduced to McAsster on April 1, 2011.

Snowmageddon II: The Reckoning Man-eating 10 cm snowfall wreaks havoc on Hamilton yet again Graphic illustraion by Buck Horowitz “What Did You Learn This Week, Timmy?”

“I learned that hemorrhoids are on the inside.”

Disclaimer: Stories printed in The Hamilton Speculator are fact. Any resemblance to persons real or dead is likely intentional and done out of spite. Opinions expressed are those of The Speculator and if you disagree with them you are wrong. And stupid. Possibly ugly as well.

THE SILHOUETTE • B1

THURSDAY, MARCH 24, 2011

SPORTS Squash

Football

Mac brings home bronze Local products headline 2011 recruiting class BRIAN DECKER SPORTS EDITOR

PHOTO C/O MCMASTER ATHLETICS AND RECREATION

Several notable performances led Mac’s men’s team (above) to an OUA Bronze medal.

FRASER CALDWELL

ASSISTANT SPORTS EDITOR

The Marauders men’s and women’s squash teams each managed to clinch bronze medals in the seasonending OUA Championships held at Queen’s this past weekend.

The Western Mustangs claimed the provincial title in both divisions, and enjoyed particular success in the men’s field. The London-based squad notched an impressive total of 24 team points in the men’s draw to easily outpace the silver-medalist Queen’s Gaels for the championship by a nine-point margin.

For McMaster, several standout performances led the maroon and grey to matching podium performances, securing their place in the middle of the proverbial pack amongst Ontario’s squash competitors. Five teams contested the men’s title while the women’s side boasted an additional entrant in the form of the UOIT Ridgebacks.

The Marauders’ men’s team was led by the heroic efforts of rookie Patrick Morkus, who won three of his four matches over the course of the three-day championship. The first-year engineering major, who competes as McMaster’s

first seed despite his youth, was rewarded for his performance with recognition as the OUA’s rookie of the year and a member of the provincial All-Star team.

The only man to best Morkus was Western’s Kimesh Chetty, a local Westdale product who was named as the province’s most valuable player on the weekend. Chetty’s undefeated run played a large part in Western’s title victory, a result that reaffirms the Mustangs’ dominance of the men’s game.

The Londoners have now claimed provincial gold in men’s squash for • PLEASE SEE MORKUS, B4

With a number of key players graduating this season, McMaster football coach Stefan Ptaszek knew he would be left with some major gaps on his team. With this year’s recruiting class announced, he’s hoping the first step has already been taken toward filling them.

“We’ve lost a few seniors to graduation and that’s something we felt like we needed to address and we’ve done so,” said Ptaszek this week.

The Marauders announced their group of recruits last week, with a heavy dose of local talent ready to don the maroon and grey next season.

“We’re really pleased that a lot of them are right in our backyard, because that’s where a lot of the best football in Canada has been. If we do well in the Hamilton/Burlington area, we’re going to be a very powerful football team for many years to come,” said the coach.

Eight players from Burlington, Oakville and Hamilton are part of the recruiting class, boosting Mac’s notable hegemony in harvesting local talent. Ptaszek said he and his coaching staff have worked to build ties with local talent for years.

“Certainly some of these men we’ve been trying to build relationships with over the course of their entire high school careers.”

Of note is that none of the recruits are from the football-mad Niagara region, which has been a hotbed for producing CIS talent in recent years.

“In Niagara, we are the hometown university and as close as any team in Ontario and so we need to leverage that,” said Ptaszek.

Current Marauders from the region include defensive back Dan Baronas and All-Star linebacker Ryan Chmielewski, along with a host of others.

Two of the most depleted positions from this year’s graduat-

ing class – offensive line and slotback – are aided by the addition of several local standouts.

The offensive line, losing All-Canadian centre Justin Glover as well as fifth-years Michael Warner, Vince Magri, Mike Hoy and Mike Labelle, is boosted by a few players Ptaszek thinks will be ready to contribute immediately.

“We’re pretty pleased with our offensive line. There are a couple kids that are going to come in and push [to start].”

Recruits include Addison Marks from MM Robinson in Burlington, Sean Smith from St. Joseph’s in Cornwall, Tom Sterling from Assumption in Burlington and Nick Wilson from Medway in London.

Another position that will receive a much-needed boost is the slotback-running back hybrid position often occupied by the outgoing Jordan Kozina. Ptsazek says Chris Pezzetta, a running back from powerhouse Notre Dame in Burlington will help fill the role.

“I think the best football player on the best team in the last couple of years has been Chris Pezzetta … The one position in our offence that’s tough to recruit is the slotback/running back hybrid. Chris is born to play that position.

“I’m excited to see the rookie take some reps at that position and I think he’ll make a positive contribution very early in his career,” added the coach.

Other notable recruits include receiver Andrin Masotti, whose father Paul’s number was retired by the Toronto Argonauts, and receivers Josh Smith and Max Mezzabotta, who will help to replace graduating receivers Kevin D’Hollander and Jarred Jones.

Ptaszek says most of the team has been working through the winter, with outdoor spring practices – weather-permitting – set to begin next Monday.

“They’re getting into the high performance centre fairly religiously and we’re looking forward to seeing that pay off.”

Badminton

Men’s Basketball

Marauders fourth at OUA Championship

Future Five: McMaster’s basketball recruits gathered for a photo shoot last week after comitting to the Marauders (Clockwise from top: Aaron Redpath, Adam Presutti, Joe Rocca, Nathan McCarthy, Brett Sanders).

FRASER CALDWELL

ASSISTANT SPORTS EDITOR

This past weekend, the McMaster Marauders badminton team competed in the OUA Championships hosted by Western. Over the course of the three-day event, the maroon and grey managed to accumulate 10 points as a team and finish a distant fourth among seven total squads.

The weekend championship served to confirm a reality that has long dominated the Ontario badminton scene. Namely, the London event featured podium finishes from each of the traditional three provincial powers in the sport, with the hometown Mustangs claiming the OUA title ahead of their longtime rivals from Waterloo and Toronto.

That triumvirate of squads has monopolized the provincial podium for the past decade, and this past weekend’s results did nothing

to change that fact. With a total pool of 200 team points up for grabs at the three-day championship, the three podium-bound clubs claimed 168 of them.

However, despite this virtual monopoly, McMaster’s fourthplaced contingent was not without notable results to their name.

The captain of the maroon and grey’s women’s team, Allison Bennett, stood as the Marauders’ top performer over the course of the weekend. She reached the quarterfinal stage of the women’s individual draw before repeating that feat in the doubles draw with the help of partner Helena Budi Artono.

McMaster’s men’s team was led by rookie competitor Michael Hewlett, who reached the round of 16 in the men’s individual draw as the Marauders’ top seeded player.

• PLEASE SEE MAC, B6

PHOTO C/O MCMASTER ATHLETICS AND RECREATION

[This Week in Sports] Rules can’t always rule The sports editorial looks at the headshot debate in the NHL and suggests that rule changes alone will not eliminate the problem.

Pg. B2

Meet a Marauder

Conference showdown?

What do kangaroos, Zelda, rap battles and David Duchovny have in common?

See our Meet a Marauder feature to find out.

Pg. B3

We look at the share of CIS championships between conferences. Is there a level of parity? The results may surprise you.

Pg. B5

B2 • THE SILHOUETTE

THURSDAY, MARCH 24, 2011

THE SKINNY

What You Need To Know This Week In Sports Sports Editorial

Performance of the Week

Headshots will outlive new rules FRASER CALDWELL

ASSISTANT SPORTS EDITOR

Unless you were born under a rock or have been immersed in the lore of Hare Krishna, there’s likely a particular piece of highlight footage that you haven’t been able to escape in recent weeks.

It’s a hockey game apparently. Some guy in a red jersey is merrily skating along when suddenly some Eastern European goliath decides that our hapless protagonist’s proper place is firmly in the midst of the nearby turnbuckle. Gut wrenching consequences ensue.

Sound familiar?

The story so casually depicted above is that of Max Pacioretty and newly minted super-villain Zdeno Chara, the Slovak state’s most famous tower of man-flesh. Anyone who follows the events of the NHL, or indeed the news itself, knows the story quite well by now.

But of course, as we now know, this story of injustice and injury did not end here. In fact, the ill-advised hit that put one of Montreal’s promising young guns in a hospital bed for a night has since spawned a bevy of subsequent storylines.

The tide of indignation that followed the incident caused the denizens of Quebec’s most culturally confused city to rise up in the sort of united display of outrage usually confined to a Mary Shelley novel. It probably doesn’t help that Chara moves and speaks about as smoothly as Frankenstein.

As I type, some Francophone cop is likely piecing together the legal case against the shunned Slovak.

I imagine that a leprosy-ridden Roman Polansky would likely be more socially accepted than Mr. Chara at this point.

But beyond the temporary social rage that only single, misconstrued incidents can possibly create, the incident of that fateful night in Montreal sparked a fundamental debate in the hockey community.

Much like Pacioretty’s ill-fated vertebrae, many in the NHL and abroad agreed that the now infamous hit represented a breaking point for the league. It was time to do something meaningful to eliminate headshots from the game.

Since Chara avoided supplementary discipline, nearly everyone involved in the game of hockey – and millions of accompanying armchair generals – have weighed in on how the perceived head-checking scourge should be purged.

Mario Lemieux, the Hall of Fame sniper turned Pittsburgh exec, even publicly aired a specific plan to tie the terms of player suspensions to team fine levies. The NHL itself recently outlined a five-point approach to combating the most reviled play in hockey.

Just a matter of days ago, the league’s newfound determination to harshly punish hits in the direction of the cranium came into play for the first time. The object of the NHL’s wrath on this occasion was the Penguins’ Matt Cooke, a forward of minimal value who anchors his team’s depth chart.

The longtime member of hockey’s elite team of anti-heroes known as The Super Pests, Cooke was an easy target. The Pittsburgh fourth-liner had been suspended for four separate incidents before this week’s hit on the Rangers’ Ryan McDonagh. Not to mention, Cooke was responsible for the most widely decried body check of last season, when he dealt yet another concussion to Marc Savard. Just ask Savard how that’s going for him.

Indeed, you could probably find Cooke occupying the grassy knoll at this point.

So it was less than surprising when the NHL slapped the Penguin agitator with a suspension that could stretch for as many as 17 games. It stands as the most disciplinary action taken by the league this season, and one of the longest punitive streaks in recent memory.

In the wake of that decision, many have moved to congratulate the arbiters of hockey justice under the direction of Colin Campbell, and proclaim the incident as a landmark first step toward the elimination of troublesome headshots from the game.

But personally, I wonder if punitive action will ever lead to the extinction of such plays.

Don’t get me wrong. This is not my way of saying that I condone checks to the head, or that I disagree at all with the verdict handed down by the NHL in the Cooke case. The fact that he has repeatedly proven himself to be a dangerously dirty and reckless player cannot be disputed. I won’t shed a tear for Matt Cooke or his $200,000 in forfeit pay, and I suspect that very few will.

But I remain unconvinced that simple rule changes and heightened disciplinary standards will prevent the sort of injury experienced by Max Pacioretty and legions of other unfortunates before him. Because for my money, the sort of play that brings with it such dire consequences is a natural, if regrettable, feature of the modern game.

To put it simply: today’s players are bigger, stronger, quicker, and more physically fit than they have ever been. The modern professional is molded through years of training, and designed specifically to perform more dynamically than previously possible.

Current equipment is optimally crafted and personally fitted to provide the least impediment and greatest protection to these athletes. Every aspect of the complex protective kit worn by hockey players has been streamlined to the fullest extent. Even today’s jersey is form fitted to maximize breathability and minimize weight and drag.

All of this translates to a product on the ice that is more entertaining and competitive than it has ever been. But as the game becomes ever faster and more physical, it also becomes inherently more dangerous. And this is the aspect of the current NHL safety debate that very few people seem willing to address.

The problem is that reversing the progress of our athletes is impossible. Much like the constant upward movement of technological development, the ever-greater fitness of athletes is an irresistible trend.

And as for equipment, developers will rightly continue to pander to the desires of the athlete. That desire will always be for less of an impediment to their natural abilities. Equipment will always tend toward the lighter, more breathable, and more aerodynamic.

So what does this mean for the safety debate? It means that while we can limit injuries through legislation, the dangerous nature of today’s sport will always involve a high frequency and severity of injuries. Enter at your own risk.

Patrick Morkus - Squash Morkus, a first-year engineering major, notched the Marauders’ most impressive performance at the OUA Squash Championships held at Queen’s this past weekend. After winning three of his four matches at the event as McMaster’s first seed, Morkus was rewarded for his efforts with the OUA Rookie of the Year award.

PHOTO C/O MCMASTER ATHLETICS AND RECREATION

Plug of the Week

Matt Cooke Cooke, a utility player for the NHL’s Pittsburgh Penguins, incurred the largest suspension handed down by the league thus far this season after an elbow to the head of the New York Rangers’ Ryan McDonagh on Sunday. Cooke will miss a minimum of 14 games and forfeit over $200,000 in salary as a result of the hit.

WIKIMEDIA COMMONS

Top 5 Birdie Num-Num

Sports Controversies 1.Marty McSorley’s stick swing 2. Italian match-fixing scandal 3. Nancy Kerigan’s knee bash 4. Mike Tyson ear biting 5. Patriots’ spygate scandal PHOTO C/O NYSSA KUWAHARA

A Marauder badminton player makes a shot during the OUA Championships at Western.

sports@thesil.ca Twitter: @Decker_Brian @fraser_caldwell

THE SILHOUETTE • B3

THURSDAY, MARCH 24, 2011

MEET A

MARAUDER

Mike Sheppard

by Maggie Cogger-Orr

Profile Age: 22 Nickname: Shep Position: Second row Perhaps no player embodies the spirit of Mac rugby quite like fourth-year second-row Mike Sheppard. No stranger to scoring tries or throwing down the occasional bone-crushing hit, Sheppard has been a mainstay of the Marauder teams that have won two of the past three OUA Championships. As the school year comes to a close, we caught up with Shep, who told us a little bit about rap battles, kangaroos and David Duchovny.

Maggie Cogger-Orr: What made you decide to come to McMaster?

Mike Sheppard: Well it was four years ago but I still remember. I went down to Western’s rugby recruiting weekend and didn’t like it all. It really was an atmosphere that wasn’t for me. My high school’s principal was a Mac alumnus and was very influential in my decision to come to Mac. He introduced me to [Mac coach] Phil White and suggested I come visit.

MC-O: What is your favourite rugby memory at Mac? MS: Off the field, I have to say it was at a party we had with the team last year. [Fourth-year hooker] John Williams got into a rap battle with another player at the party and showed us all on the team the physical ramifications of rap battling. On the field it’s clearly winning two OUA gold medals, especially the victory this year, beating Western, who are our biggest rivals in the league.

MC-O: Do you have any pre-match rituals?

MS: I’m not a very superstitious guy so there’s nothing I need to do.

I mostly like just getting close to the pitch, feel the grass and dirt to get a feel for what you’re going to be playing on that day. I actually got that idea from Gladiator to tell you the truth. I guess I like to pretend I’m Russell Crowe.

Height: 6’4” Hometown: Brampton Weight: 225 2010 tries: 2 Program: Anthropology III OUA Gold medals: 2

MC-O: Is there any international player that you try to style your play after?

probably a cat person.

MC-O: What’s the top-played song on your iPod lately?

MS: I don’t try and impersonate anyone or aspire to be like any other MS: “Keep Me in Mind” by Zach player in particular. I just try and Brown Band. make a name for myself rather than compare myself to somebody else. MC-O: If they made a movie about your life, what celebMC-O: You spent four months rity actor would play you? in Australia last year playing semi-pro. What was your favour- MS: Can’t it be me? ite memory from being there?

MC-O: No. MS: I’d have to say it’s… hunting kangaroos at my flanker’s house at MS: I have a pretty good night. Kangaroos are really over- acting background acpopulated over there and they eat tually. I played the crops so Australians actually Danny Zuko from hate them. In terms of rugby it’d Grease in high have to getting to the Grand Level school just so you probfinal with my team and playing in know....But front of 6,000 people. Hearing all ably someone who is those people singing the national pretty funny, not too anthem (not mine, but still) and serious... It’s a pretty seeing that many people from dif- tough role. Probably ferent cities united under one sport Charlie Sheen... He might have to work out a bit but he was really inspiring. can do it. Actually, probably David Duchovny [since] he’s more jacked.

MC-O: Do your teammates have a nickname for you?

MC-O: When you were in eleMS: Well in my first year, Stu Phil- mentary school what did you lips gave me the nickname, Mike want to be when you grew up?

“Don’t Mess With Me” Sheppard, but that never really stuck so most MS: I really wanted to be a palaeontologist; I was absolutely of the guys just call me Shep. obsessed with dinosaurs. I had a MC-O: Do you have any pet peeves? ton of the little tiny models you got to play with. My favourMS: People who read Oprah’s ite was always the Velocibook of the month... Make your raptor. own decisions people! Also vegetarians who try and make other MC-O: If you were people feel bad for eating meat. a dance move what would you be? Like the Running Man MC-O: What’s your favourite or the Sprinkler. night-before-a-game meal?

MS: I make this three-cheese tortellini with parmesan, ricotta and mozzarella cheeses, cut up some lean chicken breast with green peppers, onions and mushrooms.

Finish it all off with a roasted red pepper sauce and garlic powder.

Definitely one of my favourite meals to eat before a game.

MC-O: Who’s your favourite international rugby team to cheer for (other than Canada)? MC-O: If you could only have one video game to play for the MS: It’d have to be Wales. I went rest of your life what would it be? to Wales when I was 15 on a student exchange program and I got MS: That’s a tough one… Definitely to go see Wales play the All Blacks Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time at Millennium Stadium in Cardiff. for N64. You can do everything in Unfortunately they lost 21-19 but that game: fish, hunt, and fight. it was one of the best rugby games I’ve ever seen. Their team has such MC-O: Are you a cat person or a an open style of play and Millen- dog person? nium Stadium is one of the ultimate rugby locations in the world.

MS: I love dogs ... but I’m actually

MS: What an odd question.

I’d probably be the YMCA MC-O: Why? MS: Because I’m timeless, I age like a fine wine.

MC-O: What’s the best advice anyone ever gave you?

MS: It’d probably be that there’s always someone out there that’s better than you but you can always push yourself to be tougher. I’ve really taken that upon myself. I might not be the most skilled player on the field but no one is ever going to push me around.

Meet a Marauder looks at the personalities of some of Mac’s star athletes.

Each week, we’ll get to know one of McMaster’s best and tell you a little bit about who they are off the field.

B4 • THE SILHOUETTE

THURSDAY, MARCH 24, 2011

Squash

Morkus leads Mac in Kingston • CONT’D FROM B1 remarkable 28 consecutive seasons.

On the women’s side, the Marauders built upon their strong performances in the recent Canadian Championships to claim a team bronze of their own. Shauna Wentzell, fresh from a divisionwinning performance in the aforementioned event, was conspicuous in McMaster’s podium finish.

The Marauder rookie won three of her four matches over the course of the weekend, while teammate Melissa Song matched her achievement with three victories of her own. The veteran captain of McMaster’s women’s team, Kristina Taylor, was recognized for her efforts with inclusion on to the OUA All-Star team, and stood as the only representative from the maroon and grey.

McMaster’s coaching staff also gained a measure of recognition, with the Marauders’ men’s guru Darryl White sharing the conference coach of the year award with his Western counterpart Jack Fairs.

For his part, men’s standout Morkus voiced his surprise at the honour bestowed upon him this weekend by the OUA. He insists that as far as he is concerned, better candidates existed.

“I kind of thought that there were other people who would win it,” said Morkus. “There were two others guys that I thought might take it. But I guess the reason that I won was because I was in first position. All of my teammates thought that I would get it but I didn’t really believe it.”

Morkus’ achievement is made more impressive by the fact that he is in only his first season at McMaster, and faces the unenviable task of balancing the demands of student athletics with the daunting workload of an engineering degree.

However, ever the modest individual, the Marauder rookie suggested that the effort to keep up in both class and in the gym was

PHOTO C/O MCMASTER ATHLETICS AND RECREATION

Marauder rookie Patrick Morkus (third from right) won three of his four matches and was named to the conference All-Star team. not as great as one might otherwise expect.

“It wasn’t too bad,” said Morkus. “I had to sacrifice a lot of time to my studying, but it really wasn’t bad. It involved taking some time off from squash, but you really need that sometimes. You can really get tired of the sport without a break.”

The routine clearly paid off for the Marauder rookie, who now has an impressive first season

behind him. Looking to the future, the Barrie native is determined to win the provincial title.

“I definitely want to win next year,” said Morkus. “There was only one guy [Chetty] who I couldn’t beat this season. The only thing I couldn’t keep up with him in was in the cardio aspect of the game. If I can work on that and train harder on that side of the sport, then I think I can match up well with him.”

“My racquet skills are more than good enough but the cardio is a weakness. This weekend he just ran me down.”

Morkus suggests that constantly facing the premier players on Ontario’s other squash teams has built up a sense of both rivalry and community between himself and his competitors. Chief among those rivals is Chetty and his Western teammates, who remain the gold standard in the province.

“For the most part, I don’t think about the rivalry when it comes to other teams. But with Kimesh it’s a bit different. I really have to push myself,” said Morkus.

“The other three number ones are very close and I think there’s a real rivalry there.”

The Marauder rookie will look to continue those rivalries next season, as he strives to improve on a breakout year alongside his bronze medal teammates.

THE SILHOUETTE • B5

THURSDAY, MARCH 24, 2011

20 years of conference battles:

Parity or Dominance?

Women’s titles: 8 Men’s titles: 21

Women’s titles: 71 Men’s titles: 57 Women’s titles: 36 Men’s titles: 48

Women’s titles: 7 Men’s titles: 15

This past weekend, the Windsor Lancers won their first CIS women’s basketball title, ending a 19-year reign by Canada West teams.

That got us thinking: how well do the country’s conferences share the CIS titles? We looked at every CIS football (men), basketball, hockey, soccer, volleyball, track & field, cross country and rugby (women) championship over the past 20 years.

NotableNumbers

MEN

WOMEN

Volleyball: Canada West has won 18 of the past 20 titles and 17 straight Basketball: Canada West had won 19 straight titles until this year Football: Laval (RSEQ) has won four of the past seven titles Basketball*: Simon Fraser won five of those, then moved to the NCAA Basketball: Carleton (OUA) has won seven of the last nine titles Volleyball: Canada West has won 17 of the past 20 titles Track & Field: Guelph and Windsor have won seven of the past nine titles Rugby: Since starting in 1998, Canada West has won eight titles Cross Country: Guelph and Windsor have combined for 13 straight titles Cross Country: Guelph has won six straight titles Ice Hockey: The only sport where the AUS leads in titles (8) Soccer: Canada West has won eight of the past 10 titles

Women’s Basketball

Lancers end Canada West’s reign JOSH KOLM THE LANCE

WINDSOR, Ont. (CUP) — Considered one of the top teams in the nation for the last three years, the University of Windsor Lancers women’s basketball team finally has the hardware to prove it.

In a nail-biting matchup against the second-seeded Saskatchewan Huskies, the Lancers laid claim to the Bronze Baby trophy in a 63–49 victory in front of a capacity hometown crowd on March 21.

Despite coming in as the number-one seed, the Lancers have been ranked behind Saskatchewan in the CIS Top Ten since the early winter, making for an interesting final matchup. Both teams are offensively renowned, but play very different styles, with Windsor’s patient efficiency meeting Saskatchewan’s high-impact style.

While the Lancers opened up scoring with a series of beautiful plays, the Huskies’ quickly jumped ahead with a potent attack that

Windsor wasn’t quite ready to stop.

“They’re a very strong, guard-oriented team, and we’re a post-oriented team,” Lancers head coach Chantal Vallee said of the matchup. “We really talked to our posts about stopping the fourth guard and doing their job there.

Their guards are very fast. As you can see, we needed to make some adjustments.”

By the second, the Lancers came up with some big answers to the Huskies offense, earning numerous defensive stops and going on a 23–8 scoring run in the quarter.

As is typical of Windsor’s offense, consistently hitting the mark on shooting — 43 per cent from the field against Saskatchewan — allowed them to slowly build a lead as the quarter got drawn out.

“We couldn’t quite stay with them,” fifth-year Huskies player Jill Humbert said. “We’re not going to win a game scoring 49 points, that’s for sure.”

“They’re a momentum team,” added fellow Saskatchewan fifth-year Marci Kiselyk. “A lot

of their scoring came in bursts — they’d get [8–12] points in a row, and that’s pretty tough to kill that momentum once it starts going.”

In the third, setting up a wall under the net seemed to frustrate the Lancers and forced them to cough up the ball to the Huskies. But once again, a couple of big scoring plays near the end of the quarter restarted Windsor’s momentum, and they carried it right to the end of the game.

After making two consecutive three-point shots that began to put the game in the bag, Windsor’s Bojana Kovacevic could be seen yelling in joy, fists clenched and a smile plastered across her face.

CIS Player of the Year Jessica Clemençon had 18 points and seven blocks in the game, while Kovacevic earned 14 points and nine rebounds. Miah-Marie Langlois, who was named tournament MVP, contributed 10 points and three assists.

Clemençon was still able to perform at the top of her game all weekend, despite teams scouting

her well and double-teaimg her.

The Huskies did the best job with a more conditional style of coverage, waiting until Clemençon got the ball before they doubled up under the net. This stopped her in the third quarter but still prevented other Lancers from being left open, as happened in the opening round game against Laval.

“[Clemençon’s] a good player and she really battles,” Saskatchewan’s Kiselyk said.

Having mentioned that, it was clear that the Lancers’ biggest asset over the Huskies was arguably the depth of their bench.

While Saskatchewan played only seven of their players through the game, Vallee called to her bench less than three minutes into the game.

Analysts have been describing the Lancers as a “ten-deep” team all season, and it gave them edge during the tournament. Who is on the court often depends more on strategy than who the superstars are.

“This is the first year we have all the girls on board, ac-

cepting their role — playing, not playing, substituting, starter, scorer, not a scorer,” Vallee said of her team. “That can be hard to accept, but the girls are mature and they had a goal in mind as a team. They’re very selfless.”

The win marks the first-ever CIS women’s basketball title in Windsor Lancers’ history. For Vallee, who clearly still remembered losing in the finals last year, that offered something a little extra.

“As sad as I was last year that we didn’t win, I am so glad that we could win our first national championship on the home court,” Vallee said. “It’s a moment we’ll never forget.”

For others, like departing fifth-year forward Raelyn Prince, there wasn’t much to think about besides their emotions.

“This just feels so great. I could run a marathon right now,” Prince said.

With files from Kevin Menz, The Sheaf

B6 • THE SILHOUETTE

THURSDAY, MARCH 24, 2011

Badminton

Mac players progress at OUAs • CONT’D FROM B1

Despite the relatively modest results enjoyed by his team, the maroon and grey’s coach Naoya Kaneda indicated that he was very happy with the effort put forth by his players this past weekend.

“Given that U of T has been a pretty competitive team, and that Western and Waterloo have been dominant forces in the OUA for I don’t even know how long, it’s difficult for us,” said Kaneda. “Toronto has always been in that third spot that we fight for, and they usually come out on top.

“That’s just the way that it has been. But players go out and do what they can. They do what they do and we try to help them succeed.

Sometimes it just doesn’t fall in their favour.”

Overall, the coach is very pleased with the progress enjoyed by his players this season, in a year that saw considerable change for the Marauder badminton program.

“This season was a big change from the old OUA format.

We used to have one semester, two and a half months maximum as a season,” said Kaneda. “Now we’ve gone to a whole year, September to March season where we can actually have players develop over the course of a year.

“They definitely did develop. A lot of them showed real dedication to practice, even the redshirt players. When they step on the court they put everything out there.

As much as the result may not show how we did at the OUA Championship, most of our players did very well.

“I’m just proud of how well they took all of the advice that the coaches gave them and applied them on court. They didn’t always come out on top, but that’s the nature of the game.”

Kaneda is adamant that a proper season was crucial in the de-

PHOTO C/O MCMASTER ATHLETICS AND RECREATION

After a season of progress, the Marauder badminton teams will be dealing with a change of coaches for next season. velopment of players who, in many cases had not enjoyed the tutelage of a proper coach before arriving at McMaster.

“The season allowed a lot of skill tuning. In many cases the players come in from high school without any experience with formal coaching,” said the coach.

“This year was the first

time that we could offer coaching over a long period. Previously it’s been a matter of getting what we can out of a two-month period. It was a real crash-course.”

The problem facing the program now is that its current coach will likely be unable to return next season. As is the case with many of the lower-profile sports

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that fall under the varsity umbrella, the Marauders’ badminton program maintains coaches on a part-time basis.

Kaneda himself is a graduate student who faces the completion of his program at the conclusion of this semester. Indeed, his entire coaching staff may be pursuing other endeavours by the time

the maroon and grey’s next season comes to pass.

However, the out-going coach is confident that the program will endure despite the turnover of instructors. The new OUA format allowing a full season of preparation should only serve to help the Marauders adjust to a fresh slate of coaches.

THE SILHOUETTE • C1

INSIDEOUT THURSDAY, MARCH 24, 2011

production office extension: 27117 insideout@thesil.ca

Fly free after graduation Why a gap year may be to your best benefit ZAINAB FURQAN

others took a year off before pursuing higher education – a noticeable trend in rural high schools.

For some students, taking a year off “I wasn’t sure of what I after high school isn’t a difficult de- wanted to do in university,” he excision to make and it can also be the plained, “I didn’t want to go to uniexperience of a lifetime. versity for something I might not

Although everyone does like and waste all that money and not find this to be the case, a gap time. year between high school and uni- “Another big factor was versity may help students find more that I would have a year to do specific goals, spend less money exactly what I wanted to do; a year and find a “real calling” claim Mi- of freedom, and I didn’t see that chael Ungar and Cathy Campbell, coming up if I was going to go researchers from Nova Scotia. straight off to university.”

While many McMaster His parents were supportstudents arrived here right after high school, some chose to take a year off.

Being a student is

The latter, however, is not a popular option. very different from

Of the 80 per cent of Canbeing someone adian students who pursue higher who works and that education, fewer than 30 per cent take more than four months off beperiod of working tween high school and university. can give them an

Amanda Youssef, a peridea of what the sonal counsellor for the Centre for Student Success and Development, real world is like.” doesn’t encounter many students who choose this option.

“Sometimes there are detours – students will go to college ive, on the condition that he would first before coming to university, enter university the following Sepbut I don’t get a lot of students that tember. take time off,” explained Youssef.

Blackshaw spent half of

According to Youssef, a his time at home, taking a course in year off after high school or during high school and working at the local university can be highly beneficial, newspaper. but can often invoke negative reac- He spent the other half in New tions from family and peers.

Zealand, where he volunteered

“I think one of the reasons through World Wide Opportunities there is a stigma attached to it is on Organic Farms (WWOOF). because people think if they take WWOOF is an organizaa year off during university, tion that provides food and accomthey’ll never go back or modation in return for volunteer if they take a year help on organic farms. after high school, Finding the overall experithey’ll never ence to be a highly positive one, go to univer- Blackshaw commented that, “the sity.

New Zealand aspect just opened my I don’t eyes – a lot of new ideas, new ways think that’s of living – and it made me really true all the want to figure out what I really want time. out of life.”

If you Though he didn’t discover take that time to exactly what he wanted to do furdevelop a clear ther down the road, he revised his goal, you’ll be previous goals. more motiv- “Journalism shut a little bit ated, more fo- while sociology opened up a little cused, you’ll bit.” probably get Now in Arts and Science, better grades,” a program he was considering since Youssef elab- high school, Blackshaw continues orated. to explore his options, and expects

For Mat- to take more time off after underthew Black- graduate studies. shaw, a first year Omair Raza, a third year A r t s and Science student Economics student, did not go at McMaster, taking a year off was straight to university after high an ordinary decision to make. school for financial reasons.

Blackshaw estimated that Caught in the bureaucracy at his high school, out of every ten of the immigration process, he students, only two or three went would have had to pay tuition fees straight to university while the of over $20,000 per year and so he SILHOUETTE STAFF

chose to take a year off to work and save before coming to university.

Raza considers the experience to be a valuable one, but found it frustrating and isolating at times.

He faced stigma, not from family, but more from peers.

“Traditionally (in the South Asian community), there is the familial pressure of becoming a breadwinner as soon as possible but in the circumstances that I was in, my parents did understand.

“Among friends, though, it was very strange. When you say you’re taking a year off, the response is very much like ‘What the hell are you doing with your life?’ ”

Upon reflection, Raza explained that he learned a lot outside the classroom, especially through his interactions with customers and people in general.

He also found that he had developed a good work ethic through his two jobs.

When he returned to university, Raza found that he had a network of friends who had been through the experience of first year, and could offer him advice and notes.

“Even now, I’m in third year, and I have friends who often direct me to jobs or put in a good word with professors. That’s definitely valuable.”

Though he is planning to pursue graduate studies, Raza is looking forward to graduating and taking a break from the hectic schedule of university life.

He does, however, recommend taking a year off during undergraduate studies, rather than after high school.

“When you’re in second year, and you’re going through these classes and you’re frustrated because you’ve dissected this cell so many times and you’ve studied something so in depth, but you can’t take a step back and see it for what it is.

“I think you should save that year off for this time. Coming out of high school, most kids aren’t stressed or they might be but it’s going to grow. So, having that year off, a breather, is something I would encourage far more in later years.”

Youssef explained that time off after undergraduate studies may be beneficial as well. “Being a student is a long process, if someone is doing their Masters and PhD and for people who do it all the way through, it can be really stressful

“People can almost forget what it’s like being in the real world.

“Being a student is very different from being someone who works.

In that period of working can give them an idea of what the real world is like.”

[This Week in InsideOut] Craving casual?

Sing with the birds

Drink, but don’t drive

If attachment doesn’t work for you then a casual relationship may just be your vice.

Don’t let the snow be your ultimate blow. Take charge of that overworn winter wear and gear up with spring.

Impaired driving is only fun in simulated video games.

But when you drink or do drugs, steer clear of steering

Pg. C3

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C2 • THE SILHOUETTE

THURSDAY, MARCH 24, 2011

SEX and the STEEL CITY

A guide to friends with benefits

JOY SANTIAGO / MULTIMEDIA EDITOR

Not everyone is looking for a committed relationship, but it’s important to keep safety in mind. No one wants to end up with an STD. LAUREN JEWETT SILHOUETTE STAFF

In a world where we have to write 15 page essays, work a part time job, pull all nighters and still find time for keggers that start at noon, who wants to spend their time on a relationship?

Being interested in someone doesn’t mean that you need to be attached at the hip and dealing with each other’s emotional baggage. Isn’t that what friends are for?

University is a mere three or four years that strikes the perfect balance between child and adult.

You are young enough that you can stay up all night and still function, and are fairly free of responsibility.

You are old enough to get into bars, live without parents, and drive. One would think that this combination sets you up perfectly to be free from other responsibilities like someone else’s happiness. For those of you who choose a serious relationship at this time I encourage you to stop and ask yourself: are

you who you want to be? Because if you aren’t this is the perfect time to be that person.

Through all of this single soul searching there is one aspect of life that can be seriously neglected.

Being without that special someone on your speed dial doesn’t mean you are without sexual urges.

It has become more socially common to maintain more casual relationships.

This allows one to satisfy that animal instinct without someone else’s happiness resting on your every text.

The best part is that this can be anything you want it to be. It can last as long as a few hours, to a few months and possibly even longer. These types of flings can only survive past the two-hour mark if both parties involved are not in it for the long term.

Meeting your new fuck buddy can happen anywhere from the bar to the classroom. They are usually someone you have a wild attraction to but don’t care to bring

home for Easter dinner. After talking with many friends it is clear that the first hook up that happens between friends with benefits is often the “drunken-one-night-stand.” You wake up and ask yourself what happened, then decide if it was good or not. In the rare case that it was good, you take a second to remember their name and try to find them in your phone.

It is extremely important to make your intentions clear. If you are not looking for anything serious it needs to be established as soon as possible. You should probably wait until after he takes you home, or at least buys you a drink before saying this.

Another important measure that is often forgotten is safety.

If you are in a fuck buddy situation it is important to realize that you don’t have any emotional ties to each other and therefore don’t actually know what the other is doing. It is always important to practice safe sex, but in this scenario more than ever.

ThreadCount

Laura Serra Second year social science

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So now it is clear that you now have someone on call, what happens next? There has to be a good understanding of rules and limitations so no one gets hurt.

Mutual respect is important. If you aren’t looking for pillow talk, just say it. Girls assume that it is the natural disposition of men to be assholes, and that girls always assume that when they have a friend with benefits that their boy-toy is off hooking up with every girl under the sun.

Many couples may argue that sex is better when you are in a relationship. The comfort that is found in having sex with the same person can also be found outside of monogamy.

You have the chance to get to know what someone likes and doesn’t like without having to go to their grandma’s birthday party.

These relationships are never meant to be long term, and therefore must end. What is the right way to do this? When does it happen?

Most flings end when someone does something embarrassing enough that they can’t bare to text the person ever again. Another situation is when one of you meets someone you want to have a monogamous relationship with.

In this case honesty is the best policy. They will feel much better that you had the respect to tell them the truth rather than string them along and play games.

I’m sure many of us plan to settle down one day, but not a second before we have to. Our days to be free and wildly inappropriate are numbered. It won’t be long before you find yourself working 50 weeks a year and saving up for a house.

Now is the time to be single and figure out what you really want for yourself without having to consider someone else’s plans.

I know when I have my two weeks off in my new house I’ll remember my days in university as a time when at 3 a.m. I can finish a paper and then have food and a man delivered in 40 minutes or less.

THE SILHOUETTE • C3

THURSDAY, MARCH 24, 2011

FashionWatch

Spruce up in style this season Say goodbye to frumpy winter wear and hello to spring fashions SONYA KHANNA

barrassingly temporary fad of the low-waisted tight fitting flare pant that dissolved just as quickly as it Spring is abloom and along with came onto the fashion scene only a the fast approaching warm weather few years ago. comes an awakening from a seem- The 70s-inspired flared ingly endless fashion hibernation. pant is a flattering, chic item not to Bid adieu to uninspired sweats be neglected as it radiates both style and sweatshirts, a common fashion and sophistication. This item is both staple amongst Mac students. comfortable and flattering, and has

Spring brings about the been featured by prominent designemergence of an eagerly anticipated ers such as D&G and Marc Jacobs freedom through a myriad of style in recent spring 2011 showcases. options and the demise of bulky, re- The maxi dress is an efstricting fabrics and insipid colour fortlessly chic item that has already schemes. won the hearts of fashion-minded

This past weekend I was individuals from past spring and invited along with a few friends summer seasons. The breezy, fluid to attend the Evolution Fashion nature of the garment makes it a Show at the Bata Shoe Museum in comfortable option for all occaToronto. Mostly consisting of uni- sions. versity-aged individuals, the setup Whether maxi dresses are was wonderfully tasteful, yet laid- doused in daring prints and enerback. getic colours or nude, pale tones

With a great turnout and they are a glamorous addition to a positive atmosadd some flavour to phere, all proceeds your spring wardClothing was satufor this charity gala robe. went to the June

Romprated in colour, Callwood Centre ers are making a ablaze with stripes, for Women and necessary comeand plastered with back yet again this Children.

Peach a chic, retro 70s Berserk, Pink season.

Playful, Tartan, Bench, inspired spunk proving comfortable, and Scotch & Soda, classy all seem to that this fashion seaKingo Couture be recurring themes SNӦ of Sweden son promises to bring in fashion trends for an eclectic mix.”

Jewellery, Noir et the spring season, Gris, Michael Kors, and jumpsuits exude and Banana Reall that and more. public all featured snippets of their Incorporating neutral, tospring collection to support the bacco tones as shown by Versace cause. and Chloe, bright colours and bold

I was inspired by the pas- prints displayed by designers such sion all the participating design- as Gucci, and a bohemian style into ers showcased in their garments; it the jumpsuit evoke the quintessenwas a wonderful preview for excit- tial spring outfit that is both daring ing spring trends. The pieces from and elegant. each designer held their own dis- Other emerging spring tinct characteristics but common trends include garments drenched in themes were evident throughout the classic white tones, the everlasting show. yet consistently reinvented denim,

Clothing was saturated the daring leather jacket, and nautin colour, ablaze with stripes, and ical stripes. plastered with a chic, retro 70s in- Spring fashion generally spired spunk proving that this fash- has a somewhat relaxed vibe, and ion season promises to bring an this season designers ranging from eclectic mix of trends suitable for those at the top of the fashion food every personality. chain to high-fashion inspired re The current optimism for tailers alike displayed reassuring 70s influenced styles is quite strong showcases. for spring 2011. This season, all hail The evident laid-back aura the re-emergence of the high-waist- foreshadows an empowering season ed flared pant. to come for consumers, allowing

Temporarily toss those for vast room to breathe in terms of skinny jeans away and summon a fashion decision-making. cultural past by evoking the inner Prepare to woo your lackpeace loving, free-spirited hippy in lustre winter wardrobe with bold you. patterns, colourful prints, vibrant

The high-waisted flare colours, and the resurrection of a should not be mistaken with the em- retro 70s-inspired wardrobe.

The spring season is a time in which to shed the winter getup and bring on your spring clothes.

SILHOUETTE STAFF

CHRISTOPHER CHANG/ SENIOR PHOTO EDITOR

March 24 - March 26 The Vagina Monologues CNH 103 - Robinson Memorial Theatre 8 p.m. - 10 p.m.

March 29 Japan Benefit Concert 345 James St. N 6 p.m. - 9 p.m.

March 25 Blood Donor Clinic CIBC Hall, MUSC 10:30 a.m. - 5 p.m.

March 30 A Tale of Two Voyagers McMaster McCallion Planetarium, BSB B149 6 p.m. - 7 p.m.

March 27 AgendaCamp: The Agenda with Steve Paikin McMaster Innovation Park 9:30 a.m. - 4:30 p.m.

March 30 - March 31 A Reason to Rock TwelvEighty 9 p.m. - 1 a.m.

C4 • THE SILHOUETTE

THURSDAY, MARCH 24, 2011

Exploring the Everyday

The story of self esteem Self-esteem is largely defined by what we do and don’t achieve LEANNA KATZ

SILHOUETTE STAFF

It is at this time of year that many students are either accepted or rejected, whether it is from graduate schools or work.

Those students getting dream jobs and acceptances to prestigious programs feel proud, accomplished and are riding high on the self-esteem roller coaster. Those who face rejection are at the bottom of that same roller coaster.

Self-esteem: it is a popularly used term that refers to a person’s feelings of self-worth.

Psychologists distinguish between self-esteem relating to a particular dimension – for instance, a dislike for one’s lack of athletic abilities – or self-esteem that is all encompassing and involves a generally poor feeling about oneself.

Of course, self-esteem varies in the short-term, but psychologists generally regard it as an enduring personality trait.

Beyond the realm of psychology, society has become concerned, and at times obsessed, with the idea of self-esteem.

Parents raise their children with the aim of helping them develop a healthy self-esteem, teachers try to encourage self-esteem in their students, and negative behaviour, such as bullying is often attributed to low self-esteem. We correlate high self-esteem with good academic performance, happy relationships and a healthy sex life.

Self-esteem has become an undeniable truth in understanding our existence and motivation.

However, self-esteem, like all concepts, has a history. While the origins of self-esteem can be traced to the 17th century, the concept has become much more prevalent in the past century.

The first reference in psychology to self-esteem was in William James’ Principle of Psychology, published in 1890. Self-esteem was not central to his work; James only mentioned it in passing.

He defined it as “the ratio of our actualities to our supposed potentialities,” and argued that a well-adjusted person is one who can successfully balance actuality with potentiality.

James’ theory did not make big waves. His initial mention of the concept was unremarkable and the

idea of self-esteem could have easily passed under the radar like many other concepts.

But somehow, the idea caught on. It moved from a theoretical idea to a concept for day-to-day work in psychology. The concept of self-esteem proved so useful that from the 1940s to the 1970s, selfesteem became revolutionary.

First, self-esteem found its place in clinical studies in the 1940s and 50s. For instance, Maslow examined self-esteem and its relation to sexuality. Subsequently, articles began appearing in leading journals relating self-esteem to concepts like social-class, stress, aspirations, and delinquency.

In the 1960s, Stanley Coopersmith’s The Antecedents of SelfEsteem advanced the idea that parenting style influences self-esteem in children and adolescents. This idea struck a chord with educators and of course, with parents. Parents in the 1950s and 60s had to adjust to a new parenting style, one that was concerned with proactively instilling in their children a healthy dose of self-esteem.

Today, most parents are aware that they should try to build up their children’s self-image so that they will pick themselves up when they fall down, and develop a thick enough skin to face the world.

Tips for parents to encourage self-esteem range from criticizing behaviour, rather than the child, to giving children lots of physical affection.

The fact that self-esteem can be used to explain many social problems has allowed the concept to expand into parenting manuals, social policy, educational pedagogy and TV talk shows. For instance, last week, Tyra Banks examined how African American women’s hair affects their self-esteem and interviewed a woman who relaxes her three-year-old-daughter’s hair.

Self-esteem also figures largely in self-help literature with the idea that if we are to succeed in life, we must first appreciate and respect ourselves.

Oprah sold the idea to us.

She is open about her issues with eating, exercise, her childhood and love life. And though she faced a difficult upbringing, her strong selfconviction and self-esteem helped her find success.

Our general understand-

SILHOUETTE FILE PHOTO

It’s important not to base your self-esteem on transitory factors such as grades and appearance. ing of self-esteem is often distilled to statements like: “If you expect others to love you and if you expect to love others, you need to start by learning to love yourself,” statements with which we are all familiar.

The concept of self-esteem is no longer part of a specialized jargon restricted to psychologists, but

Lifestyle Tidbits Don’t feel guilty about getting your daily java fix. Scientists in Sweden found that females who drink coffe daily had up to a 25 per cent lower risk of stroke than women who didn’t drink coffee.

Just another reason to jump under the covers, sex has been shown to lower blood pressure, the risk of breast and prostate cancer, increase longevity, promote a healthier heart, and slim down your physique.

Looking to get fit fast? Consider mixed martial arts. Whereas team sports leave room for lacklustre individual performances, there’s no room for laziness or fatigue in fighting.

Chef Rick Gresh noticed his restaurant was producing a lot of bacon fat which he wanted to use.

So Gresh came up with an idea for a pure bacon fat candle, and voila, instant success! Such dual-purposed ware is a great deal for starving students; after burning it you can eat it!

an idea understood by everyone.

Today self-esteem is considered to be an intrinsic part of human behaviour, but the idea of self-esteem was not conceived until relatively recently, which may lead one to question whether self-esteem is “real” or whether it is a product of discourse and an outcome of social forces. Theoretically, it is difficult

to argue conclusively one way or another.

But ask the student who just got accepted to med school, the classmate who just failed a test or the friend who got turned down by a love interest: they might have a word or two to say about the concept of self-esteem and just how real it is.

Spent the entire year sitting on your caboose without getting involved? It’s you’re last chance to write for InsideOut! Email us at insideout@thesil.ca or come to a volunteer meeting Monday at 2 p.m.

THE SILHOUETTE • C5

THURSDAY, MARCH 24, 2011

How-to-do-it

Help out during a natural disaster Be proactive and make a difference

JOY SANTIAGO / MULTIMEDIA EDITOR

Lend a hand any way you can to positively impact those suffering in Japan.

KAITLIN PETERS

ASSISTANT INSIDEOUT EDITOR

It’s easy to become preoccupied with your own life; existing solely in the McMaster bubble where your biggest concerns are passing that calc midterm and having enough spending money to go to Hess on Friday night. But even the least socially aware student cannot remain blind to the horrors that are happening around the world today.

The chaos that the earthquake has left in its wake means Japan is in everyone’s thoughts. As a student with limited funds and time, it might seem like there’s nothing you could possibly do to help, but this is completely untrue. If you have a burning desire to make a positive impact, then take heart because there’s a lot you can do.

Giving donations is usually the best way to help out in a natural disaster. Cash is quick, efficient and adaptable. Relief organizations can quickly purchase supplies specifically needed by the affected population cheaply in-country. The amount of money needed in relief efforts is enormous, and every little bit counts in delivering food, clothing, medical supplies, and transportation.

Just make sure your donation is going to a reputable organization. A good rule of thumb is that no more than 20 per cent of your donation should be used for “administrative” expenses. The Red Cross and UNICEF are both examples of legitimate organizations where the large majority of donations go directly to help victims.

In fact, a great opportunity to get your altruistic groove on is being held April 1 at the club This Ain’t Hollywood in collaboration with Octopus Army. Hosted by Jamie Tennant (Octopus Army) and Mitchell Kawasaki (President of the Canadian-Japanese Hamilton cultural association) a mixture of artists from a variety of genres will be featured including The Dinner Belles, Simple Saucer, and Spoiled Rotten. You can be assured that 100 per cent of a $15 donation will go directly to serving the Japan relief effort.

But if you’re a starving student you

might not have enough money to even make rent, much less an extra $40 to donate. If you want to donate food, clothing, or other supplies make sure the items are sent to the right location; many schools, churches, and community centres hold food and clothing drives during a natural disaster and are wellequipped to handle this type of donation.

Note: It’s also a good idea to find out which items are most needed before throwing whatever you have lying on your bedroom floor into a garbage bag to donate.

Conversely, instead of trying to send eight garbage bags of miscellaneous items overseas, you could try to turn those items into cash. You could organize a community garage sale, auction or raffle and donate all the proceeds to a relief agency. If you’ve started accumulating a small mountain of canned beans, you could hold a community potluck where diners can make a small cash donation before digging in.

Ambitious bakers across Canada are joining forces to create a continent-wide “Bake for Japan” fundraiser. You can head down to Toronto on April 2 and 10 to donate and eat some delicious baked treats at participating bakers where all proceeds are going directly to the Red Cross. Better yet, join the baking revolution and start a Hamilton or McMaster-wide bake sale.

Get involved locally. Canadian NGOs and affiliates of international organizations might need help staffing phone lines during fundraising events, or organizing fundraising events in your community. Setting aside a couple of hours on a weekend can be an easy and empowering way to help out without literally giving the shirt off your back.

A lot of people want to help out when the disaster is hot in the news, but lose interest when the press moves on. Huge amounts of assistance and money are needed to reconstruct the devastation that was left by the disaster long after the actual crisis phase.

Are you feeling inspired yet? If so, pull up your “do-gooder” pants and get out there to change the world.

Some of the Canadian charities currently active in Japan include: •Humanitarian Coalition •World Vision •Canadian Red Cross •International Development and •Christian Children’s Fund of Relief Foundation Canada

C6 • THE SILHOUETTE

THURSDAY, MARCH 24, 2011

Be smart: arrive alive Avoid celebrating your end-of-exam spirits with a DUI NEEPA PARIKH SHEC MEDIA

Impaired driving is a very real issue in Canada. According to MADD Canada, an estimated 3,045 individuals were killed in motor vehicle crashes in 2007, with 1,239 of those fatalities related to impairment. It is an issue that is particularly important to students, considering Canadians aged 19 to 24 have the highest per capita charge rate in Canada when it comes to impaired driving.

But what exactly does impaired driving involve? According to the Government of Canada, impaired driving means driving a car, truck, boat, aircraft, train, snowmobile, or other motor vehicle while your ability to operate that motor vehicle is impaired.

Though impairment most commonly refers to be under the influence of alcohol or drugs, even the use of technology while in the car could be considered impaired driving. This includes using cell phones, as stated by new Ontario traffic laws.

The Canadian Criminal Code places harsh punishments on impaired driving due to its potentially severe consequences.

These range from fines of $600 and license suspension to life imprisonment depending on the severity of the incident and the number of times an offence has occurred, with minor variations from province to province.

McMaster’s Student Health Education Centre (SHEC) and Emergency First Response Team (EFRT) collaborated to bring awareness of impaired driving to the McMaster community.

The student groups hosted their very first Impaired Driving Event on Thursday, March 24 in order to provide a realistic representation of what could happen if you drive under the influence of drugs, alcohol or technology.

SHEC and EFRT have taken two different approaches to one devastating event. EFRT has focused on the physical repercussions of impaired driving and SHEC has focused on the emotional repercussions as well as addictions awareness.

The event was held on campus outside of University Hall

Though the temptation after exams may be great, don’t let your judgement slip and drink and drive. and featured live simulations of a car crash responded to by EFRT that had been caused by impaired driving.

The simulations vividly demonstrated the severe and life-

changing consequences of impaired driving.

Students were reminded that there are many alternatives to impaired driving at the end of the night including cabs and buses and

depending on the area, designated driver services in which someone will drive your car home for you to avoid allowing your vehicle to become a weapon on the road. These services are there for you and for

Kaitlin Peters

Frozen chocolate banana treats Ingredients:

Directions:

2 ripe bananas 1. Peel and cut bananas into large chunks.

1/4 cup of chocolate chips (preferably 2. Microwave chocolate chips in a microwave-safe bowl dark) shredded coconut on high for 20 seconds, then stir. chopped nuts 3. Prepare bowls of chopped nuts, coconut, or any any toppings of your choice toppings you enjoy.

4. Dip the banana chunks into the melted chocolate with a fork or your fingers and then roll in toppings of your choice.

5. Place the banana chunks on a tray and place in the freezer for at least two hours.

6. Then enjoy!

SILHOUETTE FILE PHOTO

the health and safety of our communities.

Do your part. Make yourself aware of the issues and do what you can to keep yourself and your friends and family safe.

THE SILHOUETTE • C7

THURSDAY, MARCH 24, 2011

BUSINESS

production office extension: 27117 business@thesil.ca

Shake hands with the devil

When will corporations start realizing that doing deals with politically unstable countries is an ineffictive means to an end.

SANTINO MARINUCCI BUSINESS EDITOR

Over the years, it has been clear that Western countries continue to do business with dictators and socially unstable states out of resource necessity. Unfortunately, most of this resource necessity is related to oil, and countries that we do not like have most of it.

So why do we do deals with despots, murderers, and corporations in politically unstable countries? It is not like we do not know what is going on there. It seems that many corporations have been looking the other way in terms of what the country stands for and where all these billions of dollars in profit keep going.

Take Libya for example. Up until recently, most world leaders did not really care what Gadhafi was up to as long as he kept the oil flowing. Apparently over 70 Canadian oil companies decided to look the other way too, with big names like Suncor, and SNC Lavalin profiting from Lybian black gold.

If you thought that was surprising, in 2004 then-prime minister Paul Martin praised the dictator’s “fundamental shift” away from decades of the most horrific terrorism and geopolitical belligerence, appearing to grease the wheels for Canadian trade. Yeah I know, ironic, isn’t it? But would boycotting regimes really be the right thing to do?

Most likely not. There is only weak evidence that economically boycotting odious regimes actually helps anyone, least of all those countries’ oppressed populations. Those markets in the world that are still promising the greatest untapped opportunities are often as ethically undeveloped as they are economically underdeveloped.

These corporate oil giants are not stupid, however; many of them rationalize their profit in conflicted countries by providing services that “benefit the people.”

For example, Total S.A., the French energy company, rationalizes on its website about its presence in Burma and other unsavoury regions: “If we decided to leave we

would immediately be replaced by another company who might not apply the same social or ethical standards. There would be no real impact on the State’s revenues or on the political debate, but there would certainly be a negative effect on its people.”

Now, if you think that is a ludicrous statement to make, it is. These oil companies believe that as long as they contribute to a few social obligations, like building a school, a hospital or some roads they are completely free from any problems that the country may create like, let’s say, suppressing free speech, or violently ending peaceful demonstrations with bloody repression.

As for guys like Gadhafi, who has siphoned billions from oil companies into his numerous bank accounts, they represent everything that is wrong with the current system by ignoring the wants and need of their countries. We have supported these dictators’ actions through our purchasing of their oil.

But the question still remains, is it

JOY SANTIAGO / MULTIMEDIA EDITOR

considered ethical to continue doing business with countries like Libya and Saudi Arabia, even though they do not practice ethical means of governance? Should Western countries only deal with states that are socially responsible towards its people?

In a perfect world, this would be common practice but, to take a pessimistic view on this subject, it is just not a viable solution. If you think about it in terms of oil, the most hotly traded commodity, there are only a few democratic countries on earth where the supply is large enough to support our addiction, the majority being dictatorships or absolute monarchies.

So, for now, until we find better ways of getting our oil fix, we may be forced to appease our not-so-nice oil-bearing neighbours and “intervene” only when our fix of sweet crude is at risk of going away. Unfortunately, this method will not go away anytime soon.

We will continue to buy oil from dictators and they will continue to be corrupt. As much as we think this is not our fault, it is.

[This Week in Business] Networking to success

RIP nuclear energy?

Interviewing the right way

Find your chances of getting ahead in the workplace through networking with professionals.

Will businessmen and politicians finally understand that nuclear fission is too unsafe?

Learn the right ways to prepare and execute that important interview that you have been waiting for.

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C8 • THE SILHOUETTE

THURSDAY, MARCH 24, 2011

Your Money

Networking yourself to the top Find greater success through networking with professionals

Successfully networking will open more doors for you and get you further ahead in the long run.

SIMON GRANAT THE SILHOUETTE

We all know the saying, “It’s not what you know; it’s who you know.” But do we know what that saying actually means?

It’s not about name dropping, showing off, or keeping a list of your favourite celebrity’s personal phone numbers. It’s about networking.

Many business students understand the importance of networking. Not only are they taught what it is, they are also taught how to do it. There are seminars on having a firm - but not too firm handshake, or how to make small talk without bantering.

For the remaining 19,000 undergraduate students who are not enrolled in the DeGroote School of

Business, networking is an obscure skill. For those students it’s something that you need to learn how to do, like racquetball or advanced calculus.

Simply put, networking is making connections and knowing people. It’s as simple as saying, “I know her” or “I know him.”

Networking is best when you can have your hand in as many pots as possible. Knowing different groups is the most efficient way to spread your cred. If you stick to one or two groups of people, whether that is your work or school community, you’re limiting the number of people who may know who you are.

Expanding your network of friends beyond McMaster means that you have opened a door to a whole new world of contacts.

Take your tax cut and shove it Why the new budget is really nothing new PETER GOFFIN

EXECUTIVE EDITOR

There is an attitude, actually it is the dominant attitude, amongst financial conservatives, that cutting taxes is the road to universal success. The thinking goes that if corporations are taxed less, they will be able to employ more workers, and if those workers are taxed less, they will have more money to spend on the products of corporations, and so the corporations will have more money with which to employ more workers.

It’s all a shiny-pretty-DayGlo vision of economic prosperity.

But it’s also a load of crap. And it is the basis of the Federal Conservatives’ Economic Action Plan.

In his budget speech of March 22, Finance Minister Jim Flaherty boasted that his Conservatives had cut the GST twice, instituted over 120 tax cuts to “workers, families and job-creating entrepreneurs” and that, through the Action Plan, they had “delivered further tax cuts, to help stimulate our economy.”

It’s a list of very noble achievements to be sure. But, in the same speech, Flaherty also congratulated his party on having “made historic investments in roads, bridges, public transit and higher education – creating jobs across the country, and building the foundation for long-term growth.”

And this is where the logic of the conservative tax-cut strategy falls apart.

It takes money to run a country. Rather a lot, actually, especially if the leaders of that country want to make investments in infrastructure like roads, bridges, education, all the things that make a country viable as member of the first world. The tricky part is that such money has to come from some-

where, taxes being the traditional source. But, according to Flaherty, the Conservatives only ever cut taxes and will only continue to cut taxes, refusing to “give in to Opposition demands to impose massive tax increases.”

Not only that since, according to the Finance Minister, the Tories are also committed to paying off the deficit whenever they get a spare cent.

So how does anything get funded? And if funding infrastructure development is so important, why cut the means for attaining the money that would be used for that funding? It’s a problem that highly qualified businessmen refer to in technical jargon as “supply and demand.” There is a demand for investment from within the government itself but, because of tax cuts, there is no supply of money with which to invest.

If Flaherty’s plans should fail, the worst consequence would be that the Conservatives may not be able to fund roads and bridges and public transit and higher education. It’s not great news, but maybe it’s not the end of the world considering we are in the middle of a recession.

But there are some government projects that never go away.

Social security and welfare never go away. Public health projects never go away. The demand is constant. Thanks to sweeping tax cuts, the supply is not. Something’s got to give. The Conservatives’ hardline anti-taxation stance has got to give.

Not because the government may have to give up the extra funding projects it is so proud of, but because it has a duty to protect and provide for Canadian citizens, a duty that requires money. There are worse things out there than taxes.

Irresponsible governance is one of the worst of them.

Typically, the best way to expand your network is to get involved. Here at McMaster there are many events being hosted every day. Most are open, free and some even provide food.

They’re a good way to get to know your fellow students and expand your network of friends. Outside of school, try to get involved in community events, whether that’s the local business community, a charity or a sports organization.

There’s a social aspect to networking. It’s good to build a community of friends that you can feel at home knowing. However, the real value in networking is the ability to be able to rely on these people.

This goes both ways. For instance, if you are holding an event

CHRISTOPHER CHANG/ SENIOR PHOTO EDITOR

on campus, it helps to be able to tap into different groups who may want to attend. This is valuable even if you don’t know everyone in the group. Having a stable contact or two may just be enough to disseminate the information throughout that group and get your event known.

Although you should be careful to understand that making yourself known may not be enough.

You have to reciprocate that relationship. If someone else is hosting an event, show up if you can, or help to disseminate the knowledge through your contacts.

This is an integral part of networking. If you aren’t willing to support other people, they’ll learn quickly that they’re unwilling to support you. As a result, your network of friends would collapse and

you’re left hanging.

It’s also important to keep up with your networks. Unfortunately networking can be hard work.

It means talking to people, taking the time to say, “Hello” and knowing them as best as you can. It might not be enough to only talk to people once or twice. You have to be as personable as possible. What’s that person’s name? Did they talk about something in their life that you can ask them about? Details help, they show that you do care and help to build stronger friendships.

Facebook and other social media outlets are good ways to keep in touch, but face-to-face contact is important. After a while, online networking gets impersonal. Despite new forms of social media, sometimes the old ways of networking are the best ways.

THE SILHOUETTE • C9

THURSDAY, MARCH 24, 2011

Gone fission for support Has nuclear power finally met its match in cost savings and saftey?

Approval for keeping nuclear energy has plummeted 10 per cent in the past couple of years due to its cost and enviornmental burden.

SANTINO MARINUCCI BUSINESS EDITOR

It is amazing that it took three nuclear disasters over 40 years to get people concerned about having their homes powered by nuclear energy. For those who don’t know their history, they were Three Mile Island, Chernobyl, and the Fukushima in Japan.

This type of energy is very appealing to people because it is one of the few that creates no emissions from generating power. However, as you may know it uses controlled nuclear reactions to heat water, thus creating steam to give you all the wonderful energy you need.

But due to the recent meltdown at the Fukushima power plant in Japan people are losing

confidence in fission, as well as investors. A recent poll conducted by CBS News reported that only 47 per cent approve of using this form of power. This is a steep decline from a similar poll done in 2008 where findings showed that 57 per cent approved of nuclear.

This new poll essentially found that nearly 7 in 10 Americans think that nuclear power plants in the United States are generally safe.

However nearly two-thirds of those polled said they were concerned that a major nuclear accident might occur in the U.S. — including 3 in 10 who said they were “very concerned” by such a possibility.

That’s not all: the business world is concerned that this will hurt their investments, as well as their company performance. Exelon

Corp., owner of the largest group of U.S. nuclear power plants, saw their stocks decline as engineers in Japan struggled to stabilize a reactor similar in design to four of its units.

The main problem is that businesses who specialize in nuclear technology will not benefit from people disapproving of building more power plants and there is a growing fear that the approvals for licenses, which are required for plants to run, will be denied in larger numbers.

Danger and environmental disaster aside, politicians and businesses are actually saying that nuclear energy is just not efficient.

Nuclear power plants produce only 15 per cent of the world’s electricity, far less than once envisaged.

In direct competition with it, natural

gas produces 20 per cent and coal 40 per cent.

In a report titled “Managing the Nuclear Fuel Cycle” the U.S. Congressional Research Service (CRS) asserts that it was economic risks, not environmental risks, which ended the nuclear industry’s free-for-all energy delusion.

That’s pretty messed up right? “No, no, forget all that nuclear disaster stuff, it is economically unfeasible.”

Although ridiculous, they do have a point. According to the U.S. Energy Information Administration the capital cost of a new

SILHOUETTE STOCK PHOTO

nuclear power plant in the U.S. is now $5,300 per kilowatt (excluding interest payments).

To put this into perspective, the capital cost of a coal-fired plant ranges from $807 per kilowatt to $2,719; and the capital cost of a gas-fired plant ranges from $635 per kilowatt to $1,747.

Regardless of the reason, morally correct or not, it is clear that this type of energy should start being phased out due to its volatility. It’s not 1955 anymore guys, nuclear powered toasters and toothbrushes are just not feasible in today’s world.

C10 • THE SILHOUETTE

THURSDAY, MARCH 24, 2011

Soft Skill

In Brief

The painless job interview

Japan Quake may gut global growth by 0.5 points

It seems that the string of disasters which hit Japan has had an effect on the global economy as well as the country’s own. Morgan Stanley is reporting that the disaster will cut global growth by 0.5 points, to 3.8 per cent. Although it is expected that this will not have much of an impact, or derail the global economy, it just goes to show the sheer size of Japan’s economy.

Surprise U.K oil tax

A new oil windfall tax put in place

by Britain has had a damaging effect on Canadian oil producers.

This tax is meant to shift the pain of triple-digit crude prices levying a tax on any oil company which has annual profits exceeding USD $3.2 billion. This means that companies dependent on British oil will face hard hits. The pain is particularly acute given that many had seen the North Sea as especially promising, since prices there have been driven higher by turmoil in North Africa and the Middle East.

Shaw sheds 500 jobs

Everyone’s favorite communications company is slashing a whopping 500 jobs across the country as it tries to maintain its profit margins in the face of fierce competition.

According to reports the media giant has been seeing losses to its customer base, particularly in the area of cable subscriptions.

Battle cries from retailers

It seems that competition in the Canadian retail sector is heating up with a barrage of new slogans that will most likely have you laughing rather than running to the store.

Canadian Tire has adopted the new slogan, “Bring it on,” while Home Depot has gone with, “Let’s get it done.” We’re not sure what to make of this, but it is definitely refreshing to actually see some competition betweent the two stores.

Funerals, online!

You too can be as calm and composed as this girl is by simply following the Marinucci method of job interviewing.

SANTINO MARINUCCI BUSINESS EDITOR

Getting interviewed for a job is probably one of the most important things that you will do after you graduate from university, aside from actually getting hired. Many individuals, however, look at job interviews as a nerve-racking experience, making the entire process much harder for them to complete than it has to be.

Well, I’m going to give you a few insights into the mind of a hiring manager and tell you what qualities they look for when weeding out applicants.

First and foremost, the most valuable asset you can have going into an interview is to be confident and comfortable in your own skin.

This may sound cliché or obvious but nobody does it. So during your interview, just act like you are with a friend in terms of comfort level so that you can answer each question with accuracy and ease.

This is important because

it says a lot about your ability to will second guess whether you are handle pressure. actually a fully committed worker,

The next thing that you and if you are not, your chances of should expect while in your in- getting hired are extremely slim. terview is to successfully answer It is also very important those dreaded problem solving to be an effective communicator questions, you throughout your inknow, the “If you terview.

While you are were in this situa This means that tion, what would sitting across the you should answer you do?” your questions eftable from the

Well, the fectively and with way to answer if person deciding clarity. you want to leave a your future, make This will tell long lasting impresyour interviewer sure you are sion is to include that you will be your experiences committed to your able to communiin prior situations work, and that you cate well as an emsimilar to the one in ployee, which is a question, explain- are as authentic as very valuable trait ing what you did if your job entails you can be.” to effectively solve a high degree of the problem. This interpersonal relanot only erases the possibility for tions, like marketing or sales. you to give a meaningless artificial While you are sitting response, but it reflects your ability there, across the table from the to do the job. man or woman deciding your fuIf you do not give ex- ture at the company, you want to amples through your experiences make sure that you are legitimately that you are a hard worker, and committed to your work, and that was an asset at your prior job they you are as authentic as you can be.

In terms of authenticity, you must be completely honest and genuine during the process, because if you are not, they will be able to tell.

Do yourself a favour and be comfortable and be real because your employer will recognize this as a valuable trait.

You want to express to your future employer that you have integrity, which means being responsible for your actions and inactions. It also means keeping your word to yourself and others, which is a very important trait within any company.

Lastly, a vital aspect to having your interview go successfully is to show that you are passionate about what you do.

This will become selfevident through your resume and overall body language. If you are passionate about the company, and what the job you are applying to entails, you are basically selling yourself as a committed employee.

If you can do all of that, then you will never have to worry about getting that job ever again.

University tax scheme foiled by courts

Don’t you hate it when you have to go all the way to the funeral home to pick out that headstone or casket for your loved one? Well look no further, a new Missisauga-based funeral company, Basic Funerals, has got you covered with a new and innovative way to plan your funeral SAM REYNOLDS online. This option is the first of its THE PEAK (SIMON FRASER UNIVERSITY) kind and will likely become a hit, as nobody enjoys planning funerals.

BURNABY, B.C. (CUP) — An elaborate house of cards collapsed Grooming the manly last week for parents looking to offman set the cost of their child’s educaThere is a new trend going on in tion at Trinity Western University Toronto, and you probably have through charitable donations. never heard of it. No it’s not anyThe Christian university, thing to do with hipsters, it’s about located in the Vancouver suburb a new grooming centre for men of Langley, B.C., is a private inthat aims to take the awkwardness stitution and thus does not receive out of salons and provides services the same level of provincial and like manicures, pedicures, and styl- federal funding as public universiing in a male-friendly environment. ties. Because of this lack of governIf you’d like to treat yourself, the ment funding, tuition costs between business is called Mankind Groom- $16,000 and $20,000 per year. ing Studio for Men. The university invited parents of current students to donate money to a registered charity called

Revenue Canada calls shenanigans on B.C. Christian school the National Foundation for Christian Leadership. In return, donors would receive a tax receipt, allowing them to deduct their donation from their taxes paid, and their children would receive a scholarship or bursary to help offset the cost of their education.

This method became popular with parents looking to offset the cost of their children’s education until the Canada Revenue Agency determined the donated funds were not really “gifts” as reciprocation in the form of lower tuition was expected.

Records published show that between 2000 and 2003, before the NFCL program was first brought to the attention of the Canada Revenue Agency, nearly $12

million in tax receipts were issued.

Promotional materials published

by NFCL claimed that the cost of tuition could be effectively halved through donation.

Justice Campbell J. Miller, who presided over this case when it was in the tax courts, stated that this case was “disturbing” as “80 per cent to 100 per cent of monies they donated would go to cover the education cost of those students who solicited the funds — primarily their offspring.”

This case was appealed by businessman Richard Coleman, whose company Titan Construction Contractors Ltd. donated money to NFCL with the expectation that the corporation would receive tax relief and his son would receive financial assistance with tuition.

However, according to the ruling found in Coleman v.

The Queen, the Canada Revenue Agency disallowed the donation determining that it wasn’t a gift. The case was then further appealed to the Federal Court of Appeals in the case Coleman and Ballard et al v.

The Queen.

The current president of Trinity Western University declined to comment to the press on the issue stating that it predated his time at the institution, and he didn’t “fully understand the issue.”

According to court records, the rationale for this scheme found in NFCL promotional materials was that “God does not want to see students graduate with huge burdensome student loans.”

THE SILHOUETTE • C11

THURSDAY, MARCH 24, 2011

Taking a bite out of Apple What does Apple’s new iPod tax mean for your wallet?

EMMA GODMERE

CUP OTTAWA BUREAU CHIEF

OTTAWA (CUP) — Is the iPod tax just another packaged political phrase of 2010, or is it a real expense consumers may soon have to face? According to radio ads released by the federal Conservative Party in midDecember, it’s “a brand-new tax that will have you paying up to $75 more for iPods, smartphones, personal video recorders, MP3 players and just about anything with a hard drive.”

The ads have Canadians wondering if the tax even exists yet and where it came from. According to Industry Canada, the iPod tax idea stems from the levy on audio cassettes, CDs and other blank audio recording media that currently exists and was set in 1997 by the Copyright Board of Canada. Proceeds collected from the levy are disbursed to members of the Canadian Private Copying Collective, a group that represents recording artists and music publishers across the country.

The CPCC has requested the legislation be extended to include MP3 players and other storage devices on multiple occasions since 2003.

Last March, NDP MP Charlie Angus brought the issue back to Parliament Hill when he presented a private members’ bill that proposed having the tariff legally applied to MP3 players and other storage devices.

The Standing Committee on Canadian Heritage soon after adopted a motion — supported by Liberal, NDP and Bloc Quebecois committee members, as well as Conservative chair Gary Schellenberger — that called on the government to extend the existing levy to digital music recorders in an attempt to compensate music creators. The committee’s recommendation was presented to the House of Commons in April 2010, and was passed with the support of all three opposition parties.

Meanwhile, MPs are still working on Bill C-32, the copyright reform legis-

lation originally introduced by the Conservative government in June 2010.

But Michael Geist, Canada Research Chair in Internet and e-commerce law and professor at the University of Ottawa, emphasized the difference between the two similar, yet separate issues.

“The proposal is not part of Bill C-32 and seems unlikely to be included,” he said in an e-mail. “The Conservatives and the Liberals have both stated their opposition to it.”

Indeed, they have. While the Tories’ ad slammed all three parties and their leaders for backing the levy, the Liberals released a statement on Dec. 16 that indicated their opposition to the iPod tax, explaining it is “not sustainable in a world of changing technology.”

In his blog, however, Geist pointed to perceived ambiguity in the committee’s motion and statements made at the committee table by MPs who simply supported the motion to be able to have the debate.

“My read is that it is certainly possible to conclude that the Liberals did not flip-flop,” he wrote. “They voted for the principle of compensation for artists.”

But getting past the politics, is the iPod tax, in its basic form, a good idea?

“I’m skeptical of extending the levy,” Geist said, pointing to an earlier blog post he wrote on the issue.

There, he noted such potential consequences as extending the levy to video, which could be costly, and the impact on competitive consumer pricing in Canada.

“Moreover, I have noted that many proponents of extending the levy are reluctant to acknowledge that doing so should fully legalize noncommercial, personal downloading, engaging in a policy bait-and-switch where they use file sharing as the basis to obtain the levy extension, but then do not legalize the sharing,” he wrote.

CHRISTOPHER CHANG/ SENIOR PHOTO EDITOR

Bear:

Shaw Media

SJR.B

There are three ways you know a company is cutting back on expenses: a) They stop serving gravy with the mash potatoes in the cafeteria. b) Instead of a Christmas tree, they get a Christmas bush. c) They start laying off workers. Shaw Media did the latter this week. The company announced they would cut 500 jobs, everywhere from VPs to call centre employees. The company’s excuse is that competition means they need to scale back. Chances are the reality is that the new CEO felt the company was too fatty.

Bull:

CAE Inc.

(TSE:CAE) What do you get when you combine heightened military action in the Middle East and the Conservative Government’s desire to spend more and more money on the military?

Well, if you’re CAE, you have increased revenue. The Montreal-based company that specializes in aviation training has just announced they’ve scored contracts with 10 different countries. Among these contracts are a couple with the United States Navy. With the possibility of Middle East unrest continuing, CAE looks to be flying high.

C12 • THE SILHOUETTE

THURSDAY, JANUARY 27, 2011

Offering hope & healing

“Look back but don’t stare. It is only when I make peace with what is behind me that I set my sights on what’s ahead”

Tuesdays

Binge Breakers 7:00pm -8:30pm Facilitator: Alison Colavecchia

Wednesdays

Yoga 7:00-8:30pm Facilitator: Leslie Landry

Thursdays

Teen Motivation Group: “Courage to Heal” 7:00-8:30pm Facilitator: Carly Lambert Support for Family and Friends 7:00– 8:30pm Facilitator: Jaime Thor Adult Support (Evening): 7:00pm– 8:30pm Facilitator: :Lesley Sardo

Please help us keep kids healthy, active, and engaged!

Go to www.ontopoftheworldforkids.ca to donate or sign up as a fundraiser!

Please see our website for full descriptions of our programs: www.daniellesplace.org

How to Register for a Program:

Drop in and fill out a registration 10 minutes before group, or call into the center Danielle’s Place Eating Disorders Resource and Support Center 895 Brant Street Unit #3 Burlington, ON L7R 2J6 We are a not-for-profit incorporated in Ontario 905-333-5548/1-866-277-9959 (001614555) and a federally registered charity info@daniellesplace.org (charitable number BN 85550 6671 RR0001)

the lit issue

andex

thursday, march 24, 2011

Senior Editor: Roxanne Hathway-Baxter Entertainment Editor: Myles Herod Music Editor: Dan Hawie Contributors: Rob Revington, Tom Miller, Garnet Johnson-Koehn, Mia Johnston

Cover: Jonathon Fairclough

this week

mar.24

One Hundred Dollars This Ain’t Hollywood 8:00 p.m.

mar.25

Isis This Ain’t Hollywood 9:00 p.m.

mar.26

Jamsquid This Ain’t Hollywood 9:00 p.m.

mar.26

music

Born Ruffians The Casbah 9:00 p.m.

mar.27

snowto of the week

in the hammer

Meligrove Band The Casbah 8:00 p.m.

mar.30

keepin’ puns to the minnowmal, bull terrier puppies, kenny buys a smut mag, the marinews, stfu, mark kozelek, lame lee’s palace, hello i’m trying to be hip as fuck, the fart that tore us apart, couch, $12 flights, the forehead convention, secret aggression, the bedrock bistro, mismatched socks, the ruminant band, huron

Hue The Casbah 8:00 p.m.

mar.30

now

andy’s ticks

Hellbats This Ain’t Hollywood 9:00 p.m.

mar.23-8

theatre For This Moment Alone Theatre Aquarius 190 King William Street Hamilton, L8R 1A6 (905) 522-7529

opening

film Sucker Punch Diary of a Wimpy Kid Miral

the right thing is to write things

preferably in this publication

meetings are held on mondays at 2:00pm in musc b110 e-mail your submissions to andy@thesil.ca

science says that the strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. wanna go out for some drinks, science?

this is snow laughing matter. a fresh blanket of snow has covered hamilton, just when we thought spring was here. christopher chang / senior photo editor

musc b110

column

thursday, march 24, 2011

f.u.b.a.r.

going to come quite in handy, or so I thought.

Now within my possession I had mountains of books, all deeditorial column manding to be read by roxanne hathway-baxter the following class.

Being the freshI remember pretty distinctly the faced idealist, I tried day I learned to read. Albeit, it’s with all my might to finish those not the clearest moment, but it still books before my next class with a sits in my memory as the day when certain first year optimism. I tore I understood how letters formed into the books, because they all together to make words. The book looked pretty interesting. It was a was simple. It was about a little lot of work, but I did it. At least for red car and the font size was huge, first semester. but it didn’t matter that the sub- As time wore on I became ject was dull as hell, I could read! I discouraged. I was reading everyknew where the car was going to go, where, all the time. My kindergarwhether it was up the hill or down ten self would have been thrilled. the road, whether it was fast or slow. The majority of my time was to be It was amazing. devoted to reading, but finally I just

And then the days kept began to resent it. I still read the tumbling forward and adding up. I books, or most of them anyways, learned to use the alphabet to form but I did it with no pleasure. It was bigger and bigger words. The font homework, it was a chore. Universizes started to get smaller and the sity made me hate reading. books gradually got longer.

Reading used to be, and

One day I decided that it in some degree still is, a great priviwas time to put my knowledge of lege. We tend to take for granted reading to good use and I applied the high levels of literacy and the to university, specifically for an Eng- availability of books in our society. lish degree. My love of reading was If you’re not able to afford

to buy all the books you’d want, there’s almost always a library close by where you can get those books for free, save for the pesky, dime-aday late charge. It’s not hard to get a book if you just go looking for one.

Books have come a long way throughout the course of human history. Until the invention of the Gutenberg printing press, books were handwritten and often in Latin. So, even if you were able to get your wealthy Medieval – and probably dirty – hands on a book, you probably weren’t going to be able to read it anyways.

When Gutenberg finally got his invention up and running in 1440, it started a mass printing revolution across Europe, paving the way to the Medieval Ages’ prettier sister, the Renaissance. It became the age of art and enlightenment, all because of books!

The invention of the printing press is regarded as one of the most influential moments in human history. Yes, even more important that the conception of Steve Jobs.

So, why aren’t we reading?

Okay, I know we haven’t actively stopped reading, but we’re certainly

the big tickle

the silhouette’s art & culture magazine • D3 cutting back. Personally, I’d be horrified to look up the time I spend on Facebook compared to the time I have spent reading in the past year. It’s not like there’s any shortage of material around us.

The libraries and bookstores are filled with thousands of books about a variety of different subjects, ranging from architecture to oddly sexually active vampires.

There has to be one book on the shelf that is marginally more interesting than the rerun of Friends that you’ve seen at least three times.

I think it’s high time for a second reading revolution.

We need to get off our current diets of the Internet and television and start flipping some pages.

I’m going to shut my eyes – well, metaphorically – and pretend that I’m reading all my course-assigned books for pleasure. It is almost exam time, after all.

We need to take those skills that our kindergarten selves tried so hard to learn and put them to good use. We need to show Gutenberg that the printing press was the right way to go, and that it’s good he didn’t become a traveling knife salesman.

andy’s lit picks

1. American Psycho Bret Easton Ellis 2. Lullabies for Little Criminals Heather O’Neill 3. Brave New World Aldous Huxley

4. The Crying of Lot 49 Thomas Pynchon 5. A Complicated Kindness Miriam Toews 6. Breakfast of Champions Kurt Vonnegut 7. The Twits Roald Dahl 8. On The Road Jack Kerouac

what’s your favourite book?

compiled by christopher chang & roxanne hathway-baxter

“the girl who loved tom gordon by stephen king” jason roster

“extremely loved, incredibly close by jonathan safran foer” rayna friendly

“harry potter by j.k. rowling” dipongkor halder

“predictably irrational by dan ariely” shreya patel

“don’t have one”

omar darkazanli

D4 • the silhouette’s art & culture magazine

big red riding hood by robert revington

“Not again!” said Big Red Riding Hood.

She was sick of all the attention her little sister was getting. For weeks, all the adults in the village had cooed over Little Red Riding Hood and told her how brave she had been.

Big Red Riding Hood didn’t think her sister had been brave at all. She thought Little Red Riding Hood had been rather dim, and lucky that that nice hunter had been passing by to frighten the wolf away.

Another hanger-on had come by. The woman from the next street over had just arrived with a gift for her sister (“a gift for being stupid,” said Big Red Riding Hood), and now the woman and Big Red Riding Hood’s mother were exchanging pleasantries in the front hallway. These pleasantries consisted of loud, uproarious laughter over stories that did not really go anywhere. Nauseated, Big Red Riding Hood slipped out the back door into the sun’s cascading rays.

Her feet clomped over the gravel road, and she was surrounded by yawning open fields of green and yellow. She had no destination, but she just wanted to be away from everyone for a bit. Then, she had an idea: she would try an experiment to see if her sister had learned anything from the incident. Big Red Riding Hood sneaked into her grandmother’s house, took some of her clothes – her grandmother had no home security system whatsoever – taped them to a lamppost, and hid in the bushes.

Sure enough, when Little Red Riding Hood came trotting by, she hugged the lamppost and said, “Grandma, what a long neck you have!”

From the bushes, Big Red Riding Hood groaned and walked away, while her sister continued to stare patiently at the lamppost, and tell it about her morning.

Big Red Riding Hood walked up the path by herself, her face pointed down, as her legs kicked the stones in front of her. Then, she collided with two others who had come from the opposite end of the path, and they all fell down.

“I’m sorry,” said Big Red Riding Hood. Just then she realized that they were a pair of pigs.

“Why do you look sad, little pigs?” said Big Red Riding Hood.

“My insurance policy,” said the first pig. “It turns out a house made of straw gets no coverage if a big bad wolf blows it down. I don’t have a home, and my rich brother won’t let us live in his brick house anymore.”

“That’s terrible,” said Big Red Riding Hood.

“The same thing happened to me,” said the second pig, “except my house was made of sticks. The same wolf blew down my house.”

“It was probably the wolf who attacked my sister!” said Big Red Riding Hood.

“We also made some bad investments,” said the first pig. “All the attention has been going to that big workers’ compensation case. Jack and Jill are suing because of the head trauma they sustained while fetching a pail of water. No one has time to listen to us.”

“I know what that’s like,” said Big Red Riding Hood. She paused. “Hey, I have an idea! Why don’t the three of us try to capture the Big Bad Wolf together? With all the crimes he’s committed, there’s a huge reward for him. You two might be able to afford homes again!”

“That sounds like a splendid idea,” said the second pig. “We’ve tried everything to get money. We even tried putting on the prince’s glass slipper, but it didn’t quite fit. And somehow, I don’t think he would have thought either of us were what he was looking for anyway.”

“Let’s start right away!” said the first pig.

“I should probably go explain to my sister the difference between lampposts and grandmothers,” said Big Red Riding Hood. “On second thought, I won’t! It’s too funny.” She paused. “You two have names, don’t you? Other than First Pig and Second Pig, I mean.”

The pigs shook their heads.

“What kind of mother did you have?” said Big Red Riding Hood.

“Well, what did you say your name was?” said the First Pig.

“I didn’t. It’s Big Red Riding Hood.”

“That’s convenient,” said the Second Pig. “What are the odds a family of people with red hoods would have the last name ‘Hood!’ ”

“If you go back far enough, I’m descended from someone named Maid Marian,” said Big Red Riding Hood. “As for pigs with the last name Pig, well, that’s another matter. Maybe I’ll give you nicknames like Porky and Mutton.”

“Mutton doesn’t come from pigs,” said the First Pig.

“I didn’t ask for your opinion, Pepperoni,” said Big Red Riding Hood.

Then, Big Red Riding Hood and the pigs gathered in a circle.

“I think—” said Big Red Riding Hood.

“My suggestion is—” said the First Pig.

“No,” said the Second Pig, “what we should do is—”

The three of them kept interrupting each other, until Big Red Riding Hood shouted at the two pigs. “Did I ever tell you two how much I like bacon?”

“That was uncalled for!” said the First Pig. “Listen to my ideas!”

“You?” said the Second Pig. “You built a house out of straw! How can anyone take you seriously after that?”

“You’re not much better!” said the First Pig. “Even if the wolf hadn’t come, you would’ve been done in by the fire hazard!”

“Be quiet!” said the Second Pig.

“I can’t work with you two!” said Big Red Riding Hood. “I’m going, because I might catch swine flu if I stay.”

“That doesn’t even make sense,” said the Second Pig.

“Shut up, Angus!”

“That’s a type of beef, you imbecile!”

So, all three of them went separate ways and each decided to capture the wolf alone.

The First Pig sneaked into Rapunzel’s hairdressers during her appointment. The pig scooped up everything which fell to the floor, climbed up a tree, and waited for the wolf to pass by.

When the wolf appeared, the first pig dropped the large bundle of hair like a fishing net. “I’ve got you!” said the pig. But the wolf tore straight through the hair and climbed up the tree. The pig could barely swing to safety.

Meanwhile, the Second Pig wished for his Pig Fairy Godmother to appear. The Pig Fairy Godmother arrived in a sparkling display of gold dust.

“Hello Pig Fairy Godmother!” said the Second Pig. “Can you make me some weapons?”

“No,” said the Pig Fairy Godmother. “All they teach you how to do at Fairy School is make pumpkin coaches and things like that.”

“What a ripoff!” said the First Pig. “Oh well. I guess you can do that.”

“I don’t have my undergrad yet,” said the Pig Fairy Godmother. So, when she tried to make the pumpkin coach, the best she could do was a gourd. Nevertheless, the pig could still fit in it, and he planned to run over the wolf.

The next day, the Second Pig’s gourd coach rumbled down a hill after the wolf. He had the wolf in his sights, but suddenly he was pulled over by the police. His carriage had been going over the speed limit! The wolf rushed over and chased the pig out of the carriage. The pig could barely run to safety.

Big Red Riding Hood heard about magic beans from a friend and planted them. She wanted to antagonize a giant so the giant would come down the beanstalk and trample the wolf. So, Big Red Riding Hood climbed up the beanstalk and waved to the giant. “Do you know you owe thousands in unpaid property taxes?” she said.

The giant chased Big Red Riding Hood down the beanstalk and into the forest the wolf lived in. However, the giant was just about to step on the wolf, when a shout made him freeze.

“Dear!” said the giant’s wife. “Come back! Humans are bad for your new low-calorie diet.”

“Couldn’t I just have one?” said the giant. “They’re 80 per cent water! Almost melons!”

“No,” said the giant’s wife. “I’ve made some sugar-free cookies for you. Come up and have them.”

Sighing, the giant turned and left, as the Big Bad Wolf spotted Big Red Riding Hood. Big Red Riding Hood could barely get to safety.

The First Pig lay on his back, staring up at the stars, deep in thought. After the

thursday, march 24, 2011 Third Pig had demanded the other two brothers pay him some rent, things had only gotten worse. First, dismayed with the decline in his fortune, the First Pig’s fiancé had returned her engagement ring — having recently realized he had just made it out of plastic. The spectre of the wolf had given the pig post-traumatic stress disorder, so he had put much of his remaining money into expensive therapy. Instead of helping him, his psychologist had made impertinent remarks about an institution he should go to (in light of the fact he had built a house out of straw), and became convinced that the wolf was a figment of his imagination, representing the repression of childhood memories.

“Is that what you told the patient before me?” the pig had said. “I’ve met Miss Muppet, and I bet you believed her when she told you about that spider!”

The psychologist folded her arms. “I don’t tell others about what my patients tell me confidentially. That is, unless the patient is a celebrity, or if it’s a really funny or embarrassing story.” She buzzed her secretary, and said over the loudspeakers, “Hey everyone, you won’t believe what this pig told me! He bought all this straw and…”

That had been the last appointment.

These memories flashing through his mind, he sought out the Second Pig.

“Let’s find Big Red Riding Hood,” said the First Pig. “This can’t go on.”

Big Red Riding Hood came to an open field where the two pigs had met.

“I got your letter,” said Big Red Riding Hood. “My plan to catch the wolf failed.”

“So did mine,” said the Second Pig.

“And mine,” said the First Pig. “We have to try again.”

“I have another idea,” said Big Red Riding Hood. She thought about the idea for a moment. “I ... I don’t think I can do this idea alone. I need you two to help.”

The pigs stayed silent. The wind rippled the long grass, and for a long moment, the three of them just stood there, none of them making eye contact.

“Look,” said Big Red Riding Hood. “I’m sorry about the bacon comment. That was in poor taste. Can you two forgive the things I said?”

Slowly, the two pigs nodded.

“I should apologize for what I said,” said the Second Pig.

“I shouldn’t have kept interrupting,” said the First Pig. “Is there still time?”

“Yes,” said Big Red Riding Hood. “Let’s get to work.” And so, she explained her idea, and the three of them prepared their trap.

Three days later, the Big Bad Wolf was clomping through the forest and flossing his teeth — something he knew he didn’t do nearly enough. Cringing, he looked down to see a bit of blood on his floss. He needed to see a specialist, but couldn’t: the price of being a wanted criminal.

Then, he saw Big Red Riding Hood and the two pigs making faces at him further down the path.

“I’ll eat you!” said the wolf. Tossing his floss aside, he sprinted after them through the forest until they reached the field. Between the wolf and the pigs lay a long green tarp.

“Come and get us!” said Big Red Riding Hood.

“You won’t!” said the First Pig.

“Not by the hair on my ... you know how it goes,” said the Second Pig.

Big Red Riding Hood also waved the bag with the lunches she had packed for the three of them.

The wolf let out a long sigh. All he wanted was to make friends, but whenever he got close to anyone, he had an unfortunate habit of imagining how he would like them with barbecue sauce on the side. Who could blame him? But if everyone hated him, all he could do was act before anyone else had the chance. The wolf snarled and ran towards them.

But when he set foot on the tarp, it crumpled beneath his feet and he fell into a deep pit.

“Haha!” said Big Red Riding Hood. “It took all three of us to dig that!”

While the wolf gnashed his teeth – another thing his dentist would disapprove of – Big Red Riding Hood and the pigs rushed to the police station.

Yet when they returned with three officers (one of them recognized the second pig), the pit was empty.

“I don’t understand!” said Big Red Riding Hood. “How could he have escaped?”

Just then, a familiar voice spoke from behind them.

“Hi big sister,” said Little Red Riding Hood. “You won’t believe it, but someone dug a big pit ... and Granny fell in!”

“You ... you didn’t,” said Big Red Riding Hood.

“Of course I helped her out,” said Little Red Riding Hood.

Big Red Riding Hood and the pigs leaned in close.

“I feel like there should be a moral to this story,” said the First Pig. “Most things that happen here seem to have morals. I guess what we’ve learned is that people shouldn’t be mean to their siblings and friends. We’ve all—”

“Are you kidding?” said Big Red Riding Hood. “The moral is that next time we all need to have guns.” She mimed holding a rifle and shooting it. “It’s wolf hunting season!”

“I wasn’t just talking about you,” said the First Pig. “There’s my other brother, who turned the two of us out of his brick house. And this message also applies to those who eat more sandwiches than just their own.”

The Second Pig, whose mouth was conspicuously full, gulped as a large chunk of mayonnaise trickled off his cheeks. “Are you implying something?” he said.

“No, wait,” said Big Red Riding Hood. She stepped between the two pigs, who were glaring at one another. “I think Sausage is on to something. Nothing that happens is our own faults; it’s all about the way we’ve been mistreated by our families and society … about our tragic upbringings. You might say we’re martyrs.”

“That’s the moral?” said the First Pig.

“Good enough for me,” said Big Red Riding Hood. “This way we can pin it all on outside forces instead of having to improve ourselves in any way. Come on! Maybe they’ll do a documentary on us and we can get some government money.” She hesitated. “And then, we can get that wolf, sell the fur, and—”

“Make a pizza with a different animal for a change!” said the Second Pig.

“Good thinking, Hot Dog!” said Big Red Riding Hood.

And so, the three of them sauntered away, laughing at how clever they were.

JASMINE KEILOR / SILHOUETTE INTERN

D6 • the silhouette’s art & culture magazine

bill & nancy by tom miller

joy santiago / multimedia editor

There is a tale told of a man and a woman and the way in which they met. The man, in truth, was little more than a boy, only slightly educated and slightly bearded. The woman had traveled the world, had seen and had done that which the man (who was only a boy) could but imagine. Yet meet they did, and they fell in love and raised a family, and they grew old together and eventually died within days of one another. But their story begins in the most innocuous of places, the most mundane of places, an ordinary beginning for their extraordinary life together.

It begins in a bookstore.

The manager was standing at the counter, obviously angry, as Bill strolled into the store.

Late and a little disheveled, but at least he was here. The manager did not appear to feel this was enough to excuse his lateness.

“I have to be at this meeting in fifteen minutes, and it’s going to take me at least twenty to get across town. I told you this. I told you this, and still you’re here late. Fine. Whatever.”

The manager stomped out from behind the counter and looked at his rumpled employee. “Can I trust you not to burn the place to the ground, and get some work done? I’ll be back in time to close up.” The manager didn’t wait for a response. He grabbed the jacket that was laying across the counter, jostling the small display of bookmarks next to the cash register, and strode out the door. Bill watched him through the store window, and, as he disappeared, sank his head down on his hands, elbows on the counter, and tried to rub the hangover away. It did not work.

Life in a bookstore, aside from the mad rush of Christmas, was a quiet and leisurely one.

Bill, having procured the largest coffee their next door coffee shop could provide, ambled about the shop, straightening novels that had fallen askew, re-alphebetizing the un-alphabetized. The hands on the clock crawled around their hourly track exactly as slowly as clock hands do. It had been nine o’clock (or a minute or two past, he supposed) when he had arrived at work. It was ten o’clock now. As far as Bill could tell, he was done all the work he could possibly do until the weekly shipment arrived. That wasn’t until noon. He gazed around the shop, the caffeine coursing through his veins, and glanced back at the clock. Two minutes past ten. It was going to be one of those days.

Bill didn’t mind having one of those days. The days that both he and the boss were there were torturous. That is not to say that Bill didn’t like the manager, but he always felt the necessity to do work while the boss was around, even when, as far as he could tell, there was no work to do. One can only dust and reorganize the shelves so much before praying for a fixture to fall and cause some kind of bodily harm. With the manager out of the store, Bill settled into one of the squashy chairs in the centre of the shop, one that faced the front of the store so that he could at least pretend to be responsible, and continued to drink his coffee. It was, he reflected as he pressed his lips to the plastic top and drank, a ridiculously large cup.

Half an hour later, Bill was in the washroom, having one of those pees that feels like it is possibly the best thing one has ever felt. He knew this would be the precedent for the day, having consumed what he now admitted to himself was actually a bucket of coffee. He stared at the steady stream, stunned that he could even have that much fluid inside him that wasn’t vital to his body’s functioning. He finished, zipped up, washed his hands, and examined the reflection that greeted him in the mirror that had gone too long without a proper cleaning. He was, he had to admit, not the most handsome of men. His mustache didn’t quite meet up with his beard, his hair was lank, and tended, in the best cases, to fall in just such a way that it obscured his vision but did not look at all fashionable. His skin looked greyish and there were bags under his eyes, but he wrote these off as symptoms of his diminishing hangover. He stared harder, and saw the man (boy, really) who had dropped out of his first year of university and found a job in a bookstore.

He saw, if he was really honest, the vast blank, bleak, uncertain canvas of the future. He sighed.

There was a loud bang from out in the store.

Bill walked out from the back room. There, at the front door, staring through the glass at Bill, her face partially obscured by the “Back in 5 mins” sign, was Nancy. Bill’s heart skipped a beat, which he hadn’t expected at all. Nancy was the other employee at the store. She was as tall as he was and passably pretty, he supposed. Her hair was blonde, though he was fairly certain it was dyed. Her nose wrinkled when she smiled in a way he found endearing, but he would never have said she was a great beauty. She wore clothes that sometimes hugged her form in a way that made him stare hard at the floor when she walked by, and that sometimes flowed and billowed so much that he wasn’t sure there was actually a body in there. Except that he was always, always, acutely aware that there was a body in there. If he was to peg down the attribute about her that was most attractive, it was her attitude. She lived, he thought, in much the same way that he didn’t. She loved every day. That was beautiful. That said, she was no more than a friend. But that little skip in his heart had prompted thoughts in his head that he had never considered. She rattled the door handle and said something to him through the window that he could not hear.

He took down the sign, spun the lock back, and opened the door for her.

“‘Bout damn time! I’ve been out here for ten minutes. Whackin’ it in the can, again?”

Bill blushed for a moment, then found his voice.

“No. I drank a bucket of coffee from next door, and it went straight through me.” He stepped aside and let her enter. She breezed past him, smiling, smelling of vanilla. Her long skirt swished as she walked, but managed to show off just enough to make Bill look hurriedly at the floor. Nancy walked into the back room, and Bill wandered back around the counter and leaned on it in a way that the manager often told both of them not to.

At a quarter to twelve the delivery van pulled up out back and delivered 12 boxes of books. A decent-sized shipment for this week. The store was fairly small and well-stocked. The books that arrived that week would keep the shelves from looking sparse, but also from looking too-crowded. Bill took the invoices to one of the squashy chairs. Nancy put the books away as he finished checking each box. He happened to glance up from the sheaf of papers just as she was reaching to place a book on the highest shelf in the “Literature” section. There was a longstanding argument in the store that that particular shelf really ought to be used only for overstock or displays, as it was just a bit too high for the average-sized customer to reach. The manager was on the side of the argument that said that every inch of space that was being paid for was going to be used for product. No one else was on this side. Bill watched as Nancy reached for the shelf.

Her skirt hung from her bottom in a most pleasing way and he found himself thinking back to that canvas he had glimpsed in the mirror. Was it possible that Nancy, who had previously been only an ally in the hours he spent at the store, and the occasional foray to the bars and clubs he frequented, might allay some of that dread he felt when he thought of the future? He liked her.

He liked spending time with her. Would he enjoy spending more of it with her than the hours they passed here? Perhaps. She settled back onto her feet and turned to face him, but by that time he was staring intently at the invoices.

They stood out back of the store and shared a joint after lunch. Out front a customer or two bristled at the “Back in 5 mins” sign that had been up for at least fifteen. Nancy leaned up against him as she blew the fragrant smoke out and laughed at nothing in particular. The alley that the back of the store opened up onto was smelly and unkempt, the perfect alley, really, but it was also somewhere where they could stop being employees for ten (okay, fifteen) minutes, and just hang out. Bill looked at Nancy as he sucked the smoke into his mouth, her nose wrinkled wonderfully, laughing at nothing at all, and he felt his heart lift. He thought about holding her hand. The thought made his palms sweat.

They were leaning, dazed, on the counter, staring blankly at the customers in the store.

“You’re like a guy,” he said.

She punched him, hard, on the shoulder. He stumbled, and toppled the small display of

bookmarks next to the cash register. They snickered, too loudly, as he went around the counter to clean them up. The customers eyed the pair with disdain.

“No, wait,” he said, rubbing his shoulder and fumbling at the bookmarks. “Hear me out.” He lifted a small pile of the little pieces of card and placed them back into the slot on the display. He looked her right in the eyes. “I’m really comfortable around you. You don’t expect anything of me, you just....” His words would not come, and he knew it was the pot. She was staring at him, attentive, though he thought perhaps it was just that stoned stare that he knew so well. She smiled, but this time it was an affectionate smile, not a high one. Beyond the haze of the weed, he thought he saw something else that he clung to, a spark, a potential. Perhaps, he thought, stooping to get more of the fallen product, perhaps I should ask her out.

She turned to him, hours later, leaning on the counter. “What are you doing tonight?”

“No plans. You?”

“Come dancing with me, then.” He loved the way she danced, and when he watched her he knew, he just knew, that she would be amazing in bed. Bill thought this was perfect. It would be just like any other time, but maybe he would intimate, before they went, that it was something more. He didn’t know how, but he thought he should. She was not the most beautiful woman in the world. He acknowledged that. But she was vivacious and nice. She liked him, and she didn’t mind his occasional forays into bleak philosophy, or his encyclopedic knowledge of Dungeons & Dragons. He looked forward to seeing her on the days they worked together, and, if he was honest with himself now, the high worn off and the bleak canvas of this morning spread before his mind’s eye, he thought he would like to spend time with her outside of this shop, away from the books and the counter and the squashy chairs and the manager. He made his decision.

Tonight, then. She had made her way out onto the floor as he had pondered, checking to see that all the customers (of which there were only three) were taken care of. He looked at her. He knew, he knew, it wasn’t love. But he supposed it could be.

When Bill returned from the bathroom, around four-thirty, Nancy was on the phone.

She was smiling and laughing, and Bill felt an almost imperceptible prick of jealously for whoever was on the other end of the line. He wanted her to be laughing and smiling at something he was telling her over the phone, some anecdote of his day, or joke that he had heard on the radio. He wanted to hear her voice over the phone, condensed and a bit tinny, but lovely all the same. He leaned on the counter, on the side opposite from her as she hung up the phone.

“That was my friend Beth. She just got back from Mexico. I invited her to come dancing tonight. You don’t mind, do you?” Bill shook his head and smiled placidly. It didn’t matter who was coming, he thought, as long as she was there.

Six o’clock rolled around, and the manager returned. He quizzed Bill on the work of the day, to which Bill replied in all the right ways. The manager disappeared into the back room, telling Bill over his shoulder that he and Nancy should go home and that he, the manager, would take care of closing. Bill turned to go and tell Nancy. She was at the front of the store, talking animatedly with someone Bill did not recognize. The woman, whose back was to Bill, had long dark hair that reached her waist, and was bit shorter than Nancy. She had a small purse slung over her shoulder, and seemed, from the back, to be laughing at what Nancy was saying. Bill looked at Nancy. Her face was glowing. Her nose was wrinkled in that way that was so endearing.

He was looking forward to what the night might bring. He walked toward the two. Nancy turned her attention to him.

“Hey. Bill, this is my friend Beth. Beth, Bill.”

Beth turned and smiled. All the words he was about to speak, all the thoughts that had formed the backdrop of his day, his very breath, caught in his throat.

And thus their story began.

D8 • the silhouette’s art & culture magazine

another friday night by garnet johnson-koehn

Walking backwards, a man pushes a door open with his hip. His hands are full, a laundry basket clutched between them. It’s filled with not quite a mountain of clothing, topped by a bright red jug, half-full of laundry detergent. He tries to slide around the door, his feet shuffling to keep it open as he moves inside. He only just clears the edge when it starts to swing shut, and he lets out a relieved sigh that he doesn’t have to spend time gathering up a scattered pile of spilled laundry.

He turns to the bank of washers and dryers, tucked against a slightly grimy wall. As he does, he spots the only other person in the basement room, a woman, sitting and reading a trashy drugstore romance. If the man on the cover isn’t Fabio, he’s doing a good impression.

She glances up, just for a second, and then goes back to her book. He pauses for a moment, briefly nervous, then hurries over to the farthest washer going.

“It’s broken.” He’s only just got the lid up, and he nearly drops it again, startled. He looks over at her, but she’s still got her eyes on the book. He lowers the lid, slowly, and then slides over, dragging his basket with him. “That one, too,” the woman says, without looking up. “You didn’t see the note, in the lobby?”

“Uh, no,” he says, glancing at the various washers, wondering if any of them work.

Is a laundry machine really so much to ask? “I guess I must’ve missed it.”

“I’m not surprised, with all the flyers the super lets people put up. It’s like a downtown telephone pole, it’s ridiculous. That one does work, by the way.”

“Oh. Thanks.” He smiles at her, but with her nose still buried in that book it flies neatly over her head. He hesitates for a moment, then turns back to the washer and starts unloading his clothes. Pants and shirts, boxers and socks, they all go in until the washer is filled nearly to bursting, and only then does he turn on the water and dump in the detergent.

As the washer starts to spin up, rumbling faintly, he leans back against it and glances around, at a loss for what to do. After a long moment his eyes come to rest on her.

“Don’t even think about it.” She still doesn’t look up.

“Think about what?”

She laughs a little. It’s a nice laugh, though there’s a bit of a snort at the end. “Oh, please.” Shaking her head, she settles back into the woven seat of the chair, leaving him staring at her, dumbfounded.

“Hey. Hey, hang on. What do you mean, don’t even think about it?” he asks, frowning down at her. “Just what are you saying, huh?”

He has her attention now, it seems. With a sigh she plucks a bookmark from the back of her novel and slots it in, holding her place as she closes it up again. She leans back in her chair, looking up at him at last. Her eyes are incredibly blue. “I saw you looking at me. I know what that look means, and I’m not really interested, thanks. So, how about if you save whatever pickup line you were working on for the next girl, and let me just go back to my book, okay?”

“I wasn’t … I wasn’t going to use any pickup lines on you, at all.”

“Well, alright then.” She gives him a quick smile, and then opens her book up once again. “Glad to hear it.”

His shoulders slump as she turns back to the trashy romance. He glances towards the door, wishing he hadn’t forgotten his iPod, wondering if it’s worth going back to get it. He could just put the earbuds in, and maybe sit with his back towards her, and just get through

this. But his apartment is five floors up, and the elevator smells like death and cabbage soup, and he can’t bring himself to go into it again, so soon.

Instead, he folds his hands over his stomach and leans against the wall. His eyes roam over the opposite side of the laundry room, his gaze falling on nothing in particular. From the corner of his eye he can see her, the woman with the romance novel. She licks her finger and reaches out, turning the page with slow deliberation. The motion mesmerizes him a little, and his head starts to turn towards her reflexively.

“What if I was going to say something?”

His eyes widen as the words hang in the air. He doesn’t even realise he’s said them out loud until she looks up with a sigh. Before she can give him another brush-off he throws himself forwards. “I mean,” he says, glancing away, “What if I did ask you out, huh? Would that really be such a terrible thing? I mean, I know I’m no movie star, but you could do worse.”

Her mouth opens, but for a moment nothing comes out. She tilts her head and looks at him, really looks at him, for the first time since he walked in the door. The scrutiny makes his ears redden and he looks away, down at the cracked tile floor of the laundry room.

“Alright,” she said, after what he thought was probably the longest moment of silence ever, “What if I said yes?”

He whips his head up, so fast he makes himself a little dizzy, the laundry room spinning. “Wait, what? Really?”

Before he can stammer out another sentence fragment she holds a hand up. She’s smiling, just a little. It’s a nice smile. “I said, what if?”

“Oh. Well, uh,” he says, trailing off for a second. “Well, I guess we’d go somewhere nice, for dinner?”

She rolls her eyes. “You’ll have to be a little more specific. It’s a big city. There’re a lot of ‘nice’ places out there.”

He nods a little, racking his brain, trying to come up with some appropriate place.

“Okay, okay. What if I invited you out for dinner at, say, The Cherry Wood Room? Friday, around seven?”

“Ooh, sorry, Fridays are never any good for me.”

“What? But you’re here, right now.”

“Exactly. What, do you think I’d be here on a Friday night, doing my laundry in this cramped and smelly little place, if I had any choice?”

“Alright, what if it was Saturday, then?”

She nods, and that little smile puts in another appearance. It catches just the one side of her mouth, curling the corner up a little. “Saturday can work.”

“So, Saturday.” He nods back. “And uh, what if I asked you to go for drinks? Y’know, after.”

“What if I said no?”

She says it like it’s just another thing, but there’s a little twinkle in her eye, just at the corner. This is one of those times, he realises, when rejection doesn’t mean rejection. “Well, what if I offered to walk you home, instead?” he asks, and her smile gets a little bigger, which makes the back of his neck tingle a little. In a good way, not like when you think someone’s watching you. “And,” he added, licking his dry lips, “It’s a bit chilly out, y’know. Especially by the evening. So, what if I offered you my jacket, on the walk?”

thursday, march 24, 2011

joy santiago / multimedia editor

She laughs again, with the little snort. “How chivalrous of you. But what if I said no to that, too?”

“Well, I mean, I couldn’t just let you walk around alone, at night. Looking, uh, looking the way you do,” he says, glancing away as his ears heat up again. “Like you said, this is the big city. It’s dangerous out there.”

“Oh?” The smile vanishes. “Are you saying something about my clothing?”

“No. No!” He holds up his hands and shakes his head. “I just mean, you’re very, um, very striking.”

She arches an eyebrow. “Striking?”

“Beautiful, okay?” He can just picture his ears, glowing bright red. Hot enough to cook on. “You’re very beautiful.”

The cold goes out of her face, but she’s not quite smiling. “So,” she says, tilting her head, looking up at him coyly, “What if something happened? What if someone tried to steal my purse?”

“I’d chase them down, of course. I’m faster than I look.” He puffs his chest up a little, swollen with the sort of manly pride that completely imaginary danger always brings out.

“And what if I got it back, huh?”

“Well, I think that’d be worth something. What if,” she says, and now the smile’s back, “I asked you up to my apartment?”

He can feel more than just his ears reddening. “What if it, uh … went well? Like, really well?”

“Like, really well?” she says, in a husky, faux-male voice. Then she laughs, and the teasing loses all its sting. “Well, what if things got serious? What if,” she asks, leaning forwards and looking up at him intently, “I got pregnant?”

He nearly chokes on nothing. “Well,” he says, reaching up to hit himself in the chest, coughing dryly, “What, ah, what if you did? And what if maybe we moved in together?”

“Like a real family?”

“What if?”

She leans back, playful eyes watching him closely. He’s sweating, the back of his neck and his upper lip. It’s like every pop quiz ever, all rolled into one. “And what if,” she says, “I made you breakfast before you went off to work? And we took turns with the 3 a.m. feedings?”

“What if I brought you flowers? And not just on your birthday, or Valentines?” He leans on one of the washing machines, his left arm across it and his right arm hanging loosely at his side. “What if I helped with the housework?”

“What if we were happy?”

“Yeah. What if…”

She straightens up again, suddenly, sitting bolt upright in her chair. “What if,” she says, her voice cool, “You cheated on me?”

“What if… No, wait. What?” His forehead goes down and his eyebrows go up, meeting somewhere in the middle. “What, I mean, why? Why would I do that?”

“I don’t know. I hardly know you, do I?” She shrugs. “But what if? What then?”

“Well, I… I mean…” He fumbles, utterly at a loss.

She frowns, just a little. “Well? I mean, what if there was some girl at work? What if you and her-”

“You and she.” He corrects her, without thinking.

“You and she,” she says, stressing the words. “What if, you and she?”

“Well, what if it was your fault?”

“My fault?”

“Yeah. Yeah!” He pushes himself upright again. “What if you were so obsessed with the kid that you didn’t have time for me anymore? What if you weren’t, you know, meeting my needs?”

“Your needs? Well! What if I went to my mother’s?”

“What if I let you, eh?

“What if I never came back? What if I left you, for good?”

“So, what if? What if that girl at work was better for me, anyway? Or what if I met someone else, someone even better then her?”

“What if I did, too?”

“What if it was all just a mistake?”

“What if!”

Before they even realise it, they’re almost shouting. She has her legs turned away from him and her arms folded over her chest. He takes a step back, his arms crossed in turn, his jaw lifted just a little. Both of them are breathing faster, his ears glowing, her cheeks flushed. He looks away first, his throat working as he swallows a lump. He chews on his lip, pressing his knuckles against the inside of his opposite arm, and steals a glance back at her. She’s looking away, her chin high in the air, her eyes closed. He thinks she looks like an offended queen.

But one of the pretty ones, not the ones whose fathers married first cousins to keep the blood noble.

The rushing in his ears fades, slowly, and he lets a breath out, long and slow. He gathers himself up again, and clears his throat. “Um,” he says. It gets her attention, at least enough for her eyelids to twitch, her head to turn towards him for just a moment. He tries to think of something else to say, something to make it all right again. It’s hard, because he’s still not really sure why it all went wrong.

Before he can speak, the dryer’s harsh buzzer sounds. Setting her book aside, she pops open the front door and drags her clothes out, piling them high in a bright, daisy-yellow laundry basket. Tossing her book on top, she hefts the basket and heads for the door, without speaking.

She’s just got the door open, and she’s about to go through it, when he finally finds his voice. “Wait,” he says, nervously. “I mean, I don’t even know your name.”

“No, you don’t.” She eyes him over her shoulder, a cool expression on her face.

“Well.” He licks his lips, again. They’ve never felt so dry. “Look, about earlier? I mean, that’s not… I wouldn’t… Y’know, if we were really-”

She shrugs and steps forwards, the door swinging slowly behind her. He can see in the crack between the door and the jamb, though, she’s not waking away very quickly.

“Hey! Will I… Will I see you, again?”

She slips out of view, leaving him alone in the laundry room, with just her last words echoing in his ears.

“What if you did?”

D10 • the silhouette’s art & culture magazine

literature

thursday, march 24, 2011

the art of racing in the rain andy looks at garth stein’s dog-eyed view on humanity Most people who own a dog will admit to talking to them on occasion. Possibly telling them about their day, turning to them for advice, asking them questions that can only be considered rhetorical or just simply needing them as a friend.

Have you ever wondered what your dog was thinking during these moments?

And what if they could speak back to you, what would they say?

Well in the novel “The Art of Racing in the Rain,” a dog, Enzo, narrates the story, giving the reader deeply crafted insights into a dog’s mind while fulfilling some burning human curiosity.

Enzo philosophizes that “Life, like racing, isn’t simply about going fast.” At the beginning of the novel we discover that Enzo is hanging by a thread.

He recaps his life from the day that he was brought home as a puppy, by his owner Denny Swift, to the present day of his death. As the story unfolds, we learn that

Enzo is incomparable to other dogs. For the majority of the novel he is perceived as human. This is marked by his human emotions and thoughts.

For a dog, he is very well educated.

Not in the sense that he is able to retrieve a ball that is thrown, or that he will roll over for a treat. But that he has the ability to present profound philosophical and psychological thoughts that have evolved from his love of watching television.

His human personality is also seen when he expresses jealousy towards Denny’s wife, Eve, or his over-protectiveness of their daughter Zoe.

Enzo is only recognized as a dog when he discusses his failure to communicate, his desire for thumbs – as he would find them very useful – his constant fear of an evil stuffed animal zebra and his unchangeable belief that he will be reincarnated as a man.

Enzo intertwines his routine life

with the ever-changing events of the Swift family. Being a devoted dog, he immerses himself in his family’s emotional matters such as Eve’s sickness and hospitalization, Zoe’s care handed from her parents over to her grandparents and Denny’s life, which is quickly crumbling.

He observes and comments on these events and parallels them to the art of racing. We come to understand that Enzo has gained his knowledge of racing through Denny’s pursuit of becoming a professional racecar driver but also from his interest in watching racing videos and the Speed Channel.

As a narrator, Enzo is very witty and entertaining and naturally optimistic; for him life is short. He has the ability to toy with your emotions. As you flip through the pages there will be times that he will make you laugh and there may be times where you will cry.

While Denny battles with life’s ob-

stacles, Enzo feels that like a racecar it is his job to keep his owners life on track. He plays a heroic role in the novel as he helps Denny overcome tragedy and ultimately mends the Swift family back together.

A heartfelt story full of devotion, loyalty and hope, Stein has created a captivating tale of a family’s struggles and determination and the ups and the downs of the human condition, that can only be seen through the eyes of a dog.

I would recommend this book to the obvious - dog lovers - but also to people who are not. It is a smooth and simple read, told by a four-legged friend that has a unique and fascinating perspective, making it different from any other novel I have read.

Overall it is an enthralling story that touches some major ethical issues and at the same time also touches the heart. Add it to your list; it’s definitely a keeper.

• Mia Johnston

under the radar

thursday, march 24, 2011

off the web

fan fiction www.fanfiction.net

steam me up, kid www.steammeupkid.blogspot.com

voice of witness www.voiceofwitness.com

Captain Obvious says, “There’s no shortage of blogs on the internet.” And it’s true, it’s sometimes just hard to sift through all the subpar ones to find a site that is truly an A+.

This blog is a compilation of a series of true – and slightly embellished – stories that have happened to the author, often punctuated with amazing photos and memes. It’s amazingly crude, sarcastic and will leave you laughing out loud. Kinda like my web reviews, am I right?

This is a non-profit organization devoted to shedding light on social injustices across the world. The group uses oral history to tell the heart-wrenching stories of people who have experienced different traumatic events, from people who survived the military regime in Burma to those who have been wrongfully imprisoned in the United States.

r.i.p. elizabeth taylor

bon summer

ukulele... jam

The world has lost two of its most iconic celebrities in the past tragic week. First, we had Nate Dogg taken from us before his time, and this Wednesday it was Elizabeth Taylor, who succumbed to congestive heart failure.

One of the world’s most famous celebrities, she started as a child star and then quickly became known as one of the greatest female actresses of all time. In a career spanning over 60 years, she starred in such classic films as National Velvet, Cleopatra and the voice of Maggie on an episode of The Simpsons from 1992, all while surviving near-death experiences – she broke her back five times! – and seven rocky marriages. Elizabeth, you may be gone but you will never be forgotten.

Earlier this week, frosh karaoke heartthrob Justin Vernon, a.k.a Bon Iver, shared some grit with Rolling Stone on his upcoming sophomore release, which will hit shelves in June. Although the album has yet to be titled, Vernon will be channeling his inner Sufjan Stevens through a “lush 10-track collage in which each song represents a place.”

Cute. Rumours are also circulating about Kanye West lending a helping hand with the album, which we’re assuming involves woodchopping and other rural tasks, because, you know, Vernon’s a total nature enthusiast.

Start refining those acoustic chops, kids, because every campfire will be needing more botched Bon Iver covers this summer. Keep your eyes peeled for a Bon summer tour featuring Kanye lasers and 3D glasses and all of that fun stuff.

Breaking news, pals: Playing the ukelele is fucking cool again. Well, as long as you’re the grungiest dude around and come across like the posterboy for Mark’s Work Warehouse.

That’s right, folks, crooner Eddie Vedder of Pearl Jam fame has announced that his second solo album, Ukulele Songs, will be recorded entirely on that four-stringed twig of Hawaiian pride. Best of all, Vedder will be assisted by Cat Power’s Chan Marshall among other scraggly voices in a series of 12 original tracks and four covers, including the jazz standard “Dream A Little Dream” (We’re guessing Marshall will be on the low harmonies).

The album comes out on May 30, so get excited, because this is like Dylan going electric in reverse.

Have you ever had a book or a movie you loved so much that you didn’t want it to end?

We all have. Some people just take the matter into their own hands and create their own alternate story lines and endings, so their dadcentric favourite characters can go on living. There www.dadcentric.com are almost 400 fan fictions on the website for To Kill a Mockingbird, alone. I guess someone Fatherhood is no easy task, I assume. There’s really wanted to see Boo Radley and Atticus the diaper changes, early morning drives to Finch get together. Ok, ok, not all fan fictions the hockey rink and the sympathy pregnan- are homo-erotic. cies. This website is a collection of stories about being a dad written by a slew of talented fathers. The stories are both hilarious and poignant. Through their writing they hope to start a revolution that challenges the traditional notions of parenting and what it means to be a dad.

the beat get your scene points!

mad about mad men It looks like a deal has almost been reached between Mad Men’s creator, Matthew Weiner and AMC to bring the Emmy-winning series back for a fifth season. Viewers will be able to catch up with their favourite Lucky Strike smokers soon, but not soon enough. The new episodes will hopefully be hitting the screens of our televisions sometime this summer. Although I’m not impressed that Don Draper is going to keep me waiting so long, I know that I’ll forgive him. I’m not mad, man. I’m just disappointed.

the silhouette’s art & culture magazine • D11

• Roxanne Hathway-Baxter

• Dan Hawie & Roxanne Hathway-Baxter