The Silhouette - February 12, 2015

Thursday, February 12, 2015

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The Silhouette thesil.ca | twitter.com/theSilhouette facebook.com/TheMcMasterSilhouette

IRC shut down

Valentine’s Day Guide

[Review]

Why has the InterResidence Council gone on hiatus?

Date ideas, a heartshaped cookie recipe, and more in preparation for the romantic holiday.

Look at the newest book from the recipient of Canada’s highest literary honour, The Giller Prize.

LIFESTYLE

PAGE 31

PAGE 3

Us Conductors

The OUA does not have a concussion policy in place.

What happens when universities are left to create their own protocols and what is the OUA doing to fix it?

CONCUSSIONS IN ONTARIO UNIVERSITY ATHLETICS - PAGE 18 -

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LOOKING BACK

The Silhouette

Volume 85, Issue 21 Thursday, February 12, 2015

“After nearly nine months of reports concerning various incidents of indecent exposure at Mills Library, McMaster’s Security Services have apprehended a suspect.”

McMaster University’s Student Newspaper

EDITORIAL BOARD executive editor | thesil@thesil.ca Andrew Terefenko @andrewterefenko managing editor | managing@thesil.ca Julia Redmond @juliaeredmond production editor | production@thesil.ca Amanda Watkins @whatthekins

Witnesses spotted the suspect terrorizing students in the library and security was able to apprehend him before he fled the premises.

After interrogation by two officers, he was released and later charged with indecent exposure.

section editors

Krista Schwab @kschwabi assistant news editor Patrick Kim @patrickmkim features editor Christina Vietinghoff @cvietinghoff opinions editor Ana Qarri @anaqarri sports editor Scott Hastie @scott1hastie assistant sports editor Laura Sinclair @Lsinkky lifestyle editor Jason Woo @jayjai223 assistant lifestyle editor Tobi Abdul @toe_bee andy editor Tomi Milos @tomimilos assistant andy editor Michael Gallagher @mikeygalgz news editor

NOVEMBER 5, 1987

online online editor online reporter

William Lou @william_lou Shane Madill @shanemadill

[Originally published in The Silhouette as Mill’s Library ‘flasher’ charged with... Indecent Exposure]

art

Jonathan White photo reporter Eliza Pope @eliza_pope multimedia editor Catherine Chambers @catherineEBC video editor Colin Haskin @colinhaskin

Mill’s Library flasher finally caught

“Weirdos have been causing disturbances during the thirteen years [I’ve] been at Mac,” said the security officer.

photo editor

staff reporters

Carolyn Zeppieri Sofia Mohamed Daniella Porano

Rachel Katz Daniel Arauz

Alex Florescu Michelle Yeung

sales ad manager

Sandro Giordano sgiordan@msu.mcmaster.ca

ABOUT US

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TERM 2 SECTION MEETING TIMES News: Tues @ 11:00 a.m.

Opinion: Thurs @ 12:30 p.m.

Sports: Mon @ 2:30 p.m.

LifeStyle: Tues @ 11:30 a.m.

Andy: Mon @ 11:30 a.m.

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Video: Wed @ 11:30 a.m.

Cover Photo C/O Yoseif Haddad

INSIDE

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News: PAGE 3 Editorial: PAGE 8 Around Campus: PAGE 10 Opinions: PAGE 13 Sports: PAGE 17 Games: PAGE 22 Lifestyle: PAGE 23 ANDY: PAGE 27 Speculator: BACK

We will be on break for Reading Week, so stick around for our next issue, which will be on stands on February 26. Have a great break everyone!

Thursday, February 12, 2015

News CANADIAN CAMPUS NEWS Krista Schwab News Editor

Anti-vaccine professor at Queen’s granted leave from course

The Silhouette

www.thesil.ca

Renaissance award winners share their goals for their new projects

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Looking at the cost and consequences of the SoBi bike share program

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Inside the IRC shutdown Why is the IRC on hiatus, and what changes are being made?

The professor who has had recent media attention for teaching anti-vaccination at Queen’s University has asked to take a leave from teaching the course. The leave was granted, and another professor will be appointed to teach Health 102. The Dean of Health Sciences at Queen’s has responded to the controversy by writing a blog post highlighting the benefits of vaccination.

Students protest coming UManitoba budget cuts Over 200 students and faculty members gathered on Jan. 24 for a rally against changes to the budget that would cut four percent each year. The area that would see the most cuts is the Faculty of Environment. The rally included speeches as well as March through the Chancellor’s Hall building where the university’s administrative offices are located. The Manitoban reported that the crowd chanted, “We want an education, not a corporation.”

Concordia U lab looks at fighting fundamentalist groups on social media A laboratory at Concordia University is conducting research that looks at how fundamentalist groups use social media to promote violence and radical actions.

The lab is also researching techniques that people can use to counter the messages that these groups release on social media. “We need people in civil society to help the government to help deal with this rising problem,” founder of the Digital Mass Atrocity Prevention lab Kyle Matthews told Global News.

The Inter-residence Council announced on Dec. 2, 2014 that they would pause all activity.

Krista Schwab News Editor

More than two months have passed since it was announced that the Inter-Residence Council, an organization that represents the voice of residence students through advocacy and programming, went on a temporary hiatus.

The hiatus was announced on Dec. 2 through an email to all residence students.

“The council has agreed to take some time to pause all aspects of the IRC and make improvements accordingly within the organization in order to strengthen our council,” the email said. “During this phase, there will be no council activities occurring including any meetings or events.”

During the pause, IRC members will still receive their honorariums and can continue to live in their assigned residence rooms. The IRC executive will be working with Housing and Conference Services and Sean Van Koughnett, Dean of Students, to determine their future direction.

At this point it is unclear what these changes will be.

“In terms of right now, we important internal concerns at can’t say anything definitively,” the beginning of the year that said Michael Carrier, President needed immediate attention of the IRC, in response to what and we took it as an opportunithe changes could be to the ty for us to re-evaluate what we organization. “The key part here do, how we do it and why we do is we’re not going and making it,” said Carrier said about the structural changes for the sake reason for the pause. of structural changes. It’s that When asked about the we’re going back to the drawing internal concerns, Carrier board and figsaid “I can’t uring out why really get into it is that our details, but organization they were exists.” just issues We had to address Kevof… I can’t some important in Beatty, really get into Residence details.” He internal concerns Life Coordid mention at the beginning of dinator, said organizathe organizathe year that needed tional culture tional review as an aspect immediate attention that needed would look at areas such and we took it as an re-evaluation as mandate, during the opportunity for us governance, pause. to re-evaluate what structure, The orfinances, ganizational we do. internal acpause may be countability a much-needMichael Carrier procedures, ed evaluation, IRC President and recruitas the IRC ment, comhas recently pensation, been involved and training. in incidents that have been It is also unclear why the reported to security services. organization decided to pause Cathy O’Donnell of all activities.

McMaster Security Services “We had to address some confirmed that an allegation of

“

DANIEL ARAUZ / NEWS REPORTER

sexual assault involving an IRC member occurred on Sept. 12, 2014, but was unable to disclose any details about the incident other than that no charges were laid. O’Donnell was also able to say that this is not the first instance of the IRC being involved in campus crime in recent history, but that there is nothing security is investigating at this point in time.

But the IRC’s pause is not really a pause at all, as they have continued to operate and have hosted an event called “Presidents in Residence,” have held council meetings, and are in the process of conducting research in the form of surveys and focus groups. This is a stark contrast from the original email, which stated that there would be a pause to all IRC meetings and events.

Students in residence will still receive their yearbook and IRC clipboard, and IRC representatives in residence will continue to be a voice for residence students. MSU President Teddy Saull has ensured that a representative for residence students will sit on the residence-life committees while the IRC executive representative is absent. @kschwabi

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News

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Thursday, February 12, 2015

Renaissance rewards

Three students share the $25,000 Renaissance Award and discuss their project plans

The three recipients of the Renaissance Award, from left to right: Maia Stevenson, Nabil Khaja, and Rachel Brain.

Patrick Kim Asst. News Editor

The Drs. Jolie Ringash and Glen Bandiera Renaissance Award is giving three McMaster students the chance to explore the world with a completely different lens.

The award was established by the husband and wife duo with the goal of facilitating interdisciplinary opportunities for students. Each year, up to $25,000 is allocated for students to travel and engage in a project in a field of study unrelated to their own.

Rachel Brain and Maia Stevenson are two of the winners, both fourth-year Arts and Science students who are planning on traveling together for their project. They’ve been good friends since high school and are living together, so the experience of a long-distance exchange trip with someone else is much less daunting for the two.

“It’d be something totally different if either of us were doing it alone,” said Stevenson.

“We really enjoyed the idea of creating a project on our own, not under the instruction of a supervisor, and being trusted to see it through,” Stevenson later added.

Brain and Stevenson’s plan is to spend the first two and a half months with World Wide Opportunities on Organic Farms, a labour exchange program that pairs individuals with farm hosts. They’ll be traveling from farm to farm on the west coast, from Vancouver to San Francisco, where they’ll work and learn on the farms in return for room and board.

After, they’ll be returning to their hometown of Sault St. Marie for the last six weeks of summer, where they’ll attempt to follow a 100-mile diet, only consuming products that have been entirely produced within 100 miles.

“One of our big interests was in sustainable food supply chains and how they work in reality,” said Brain.

“There’s a lot of things we have to consider, and that’ll end up being quite restrictive.”

This means that some sacrifices are going to be made.

“

It’s nice; when you’re stuck in one discipline for a number of years, you get really good at it, but then you also fall into a very specific mold of thinking.

Nabil Khaja Renaissance Award recipient

“Cheese, coffee, wine, chocolate,” said Stevenson, listing off a few of the items that they’ll be going without.

But they’re excited for both parts of the project, and plan on documenting their whole process from the farms to their food intake.

“We didn’t want to jump into a local diet with no practi-

cal experience about actual food production. We both also have grandparents who immigrated to Canada, where farming was a large part of their lifestyle,” said Stevenson.

“There’s a bit of a desire there for both of us, at some point in the future, to be able to produce a portion of our own diet.”

Nabil Khaja is the other award recipient; he’s a fourthyear Honours Biology and Psychology student who’s looking to better understand what exactly the optimal healthy lifestyle entails.

“I was like, ‘what metric am I going to use?’ Probably longevity; when you live the longest, evidently they must be doing something right.”

Through this thought process, Khaja found that Okinawa, Japan has the highest rate of centenarians, individuals who live to the age of 100 years.

After determining that there wasn’t only a genetic influence on their long lifespan, Khaja will be traveling there for the first two months of summer.

There he’ll learn about the Okinawan lifestyle, such as their

JON WHITE / PHOTO EDITOR

coping and eating habits.

“I’m kind of going from neuroscience to social gerontology,” he said. “But it’s nice – when you’re stuck in one discipline for a number of years, you get really good at it, but then you also fall into a very specific mold of thinking. It can almost be toxic to your creativity.”

Looking at the literature, Khaja has found that those who successfully age are the ones who are able to continue to find meaning in their lives as the people who surround them leave or pass away. The ability to use “meaning-enhancing strategies”, as Khaja refers to them, is something he sees as relevant to the university student, fresh from high school and struggling to come to terms with their new surroundings and stresses.

“This project just started as a poster on the wall,” Khaja said.

“The point of the project has been to break the mold of what I’m used to doing ... [but] it’s become more of a personal endeavor.” @patrickmkim

News

Thursday, February 12, 2015

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The cost and consequences of SoBi Were the Social Bicycle Hamilton racks a good investment, or do they just take up space?

Daniel Arauz News Reporter

The Hamilton Bike Share program’s early winter launch has been met with lukewarm reception on campus. Though the program will not likely see wide usage until the warmer weather, was it really worth the extra cost to install the Social

Bike Share racks?

The Bike Share stations on campus have come with a $25,000 dollar price tag, a significant contrast to the typical $11,000 annual bike rack budget for regular bicycle users.

Director of Security and Parking Services Terry Sullivan explained his service’s enthusiasm to join Social Bike Hamilton.

“When the city came to us and said they were going into

the bike rental program we were encouraged because with the explosion of bikes on campus, when every year the volume of people who use our bike racks increases, which I think represents bike usage on campus, it then becomes very important,” he said.

Sullivan explained that every school year, the university allocates $11,000 to new bike racks which are installed by the Facilities Services’ Grounds De-

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partment. This school year, that budget was increased to pay for the one-time cost of $25,000 for three out of the six Social Bike stations on campus.

“If you believe in the idea of promoting bike and other sorts of transit […] then you got to be able to put the money up sometime, therefore it was a pretty easy decision,” said Sullivan.

“If all these years we’re working with the city to improve the environment out here and encourage bike riding and transit riding… [and our] partner for so long comes to us and says we’ve also like you’d to participate, this … is a good idea for you as a university,” he said. “We jumped at it. I think it’s a great idea.”

Next September, new, normal-use bike racks will be added onto campus. However, it is unclear if normal bike users will be able to take advantage of the new Social Bike racks.

Social Bike Hamilton does not have the authority on campus to cut locks on bikes, and Security Services has not been informed on how to proceed if a SoBi station is filled with regular bikes.

“We are currently encour-

aging students on campus to use the regular bike racks for their personal bikes, and the SoBi stations for bike share bikes,” said Community Manager of Social Bike Hamilton Chelsea Cox. “One way we are communicating that is through the sticker on each of the bike share station rack loops. If space becomes a problem at the bike share stations then we will work with the university to address the problem.”

Security and Parking Services are trying to crack down on prolonged bike parking to clear up bike rack availability in heavy use areas such as Mills Library. Currently, security officers leave notices on bikes left on the rack overnight and record the bike’s information.

If the bicycle is still occupying that spot the next day, security will cut that bike’s lock and seize it until they receive a call from the owner. Well over a hundred bikes are seized and go unclaimed every year, and are then auctioned off during the annual bike program in support of MACycle’s bike repair shop. @DanielArauzz

“

If you believe in the idea of promoting bike and other sorts of transit […] then you got to be able to put the money up sometime, therefore it was a pretty easy decision.

Terry Sullivan Director, Security and Parking Services

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February 12, 2015

McMaster Association of Part-Time Students

NOTICE OF REFERENDUM To be held April 2015 to conduct the business of the Association

Each year, MAPS holds a referendum of all its members who include undergrads taking less than 18 units and CCE students enrolled in the Fall-Winter Academic Session (September - April).

The referendum is held in order to get our members' approval of important annual decisions.

CALL FOR NOMINATIONS Board of Directors

We are electing five (5) directors in April 2015. Four (4) of the available seats on the Board are for a two (2) year term; and one (1) is for a one (1) year term.

Eligibility You are eligible to be on the MAPS Board of Directors if you are currently (Fall 2014-Winter 2015) registered as a(n) • Undergraduate student enrolled in 17 or fewer academic units • Student at the Centre for Continuing Education • Student in the Clinical Behavioural Sciences Post-Professional Diploma Program • Have transferred your membership to MAPS before the close of nominations.

Nominations close 7:30pm on Wednesday, March 4th, 2015.

Nomination forms are available at our offices (MUSC 234) or at: http://www.mcmaster.ca/maps/Referendum.html You can also find more information about being on the board on our website.

Contact Rm 234, McMaster University Student Centre (MUSC) 905.525.9140 x22021 maps@mcmaster.ca

CALL FOR

News

6

Olivia Chow speaks at McMaster

AGENDA ITEMS If you have any items you would like to be put forward on the Referendum ballot, you can submit them to the Association no later than 7:30pm Wednesday March 4th, 2015.

If you have any questions about adding a question to the Referendum Ballot, please contact our Corporate Secretary at: mapscps@mcmaster.ca

Check out the latest issue of The Link here: http://tinyurl.com/q938nf2

Who we are MAPS represents part-time undergrad and CCE students and students enrolled in the Clinical Behavioural Sciences Program.

Follow us www.mcmaster.ca/maps mcmasterpartttimestudents

Chow during her visit to McMaster.

C/O KATIE LEHWALD

despair into a quest for political action.”

Chow expressed her belief On Feb. 5, the Academic that an underlying gender bias Women’s Success and Mentorinterferes with determining ship brought former Member what is public or state business. of Parliament and Toronto City “No one [debates] that Councillor Olivia Chow to cam- policing or army should be paid. pus for a keynote lecture.

It is the state business to protect Chow is the second in the us collectively,” she said.

AWSM series that brings variYet when it comes to matous speakers to campus to share ters of nurturing, like childcare their advice on mentorship and or home care for seniors, the empowering female leaders. response is often that it should Chow’s be a private talk cenor family tered on her responsibilexperience ity. growing up as “If you [Those who are an immigrant think about in Canada, and protecting, underrepresented her perspective [men] do can] understand on various most of the weakness as a issues as seen protectthrough the ing. And source of strength eyes of a womwho does [and] turn an in the pomost of the helplessness and litical sphere. nurturing?

Reading an despair into a quest Females. So excerpt from somehow, for political action. her recently nurturing published jobs are Olivia Chow memoir, she supposed to Former MP and Toronto City detailed perbe mostly Councillor sonal struggles private, not which encourthe govaged her to ernment’s seek avenues responsibilfor change, and eventually ity by and large... This is why it resulted in her introduction to is especially important to have politics. women involved in politics. It is “Women who endure cullong overdue,” she said. tural bias are the most poverty In line with the intention of stricken in [Toronto],” Chow the lecture series, Chow encoursaid. “[Those who are underaged the audience to empower represented can] understand women around them, saying to weakness as a source of strength never underestimate “the power [and] turn helplessness and of the collective.”

Katie Lehwald Contributor

“

Thursday, February 12, 2015

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Editorial

The Silhouette

Thursday, February 12, 2015

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

“A vacation is what you take when you can no longer take what you’ve been taking.”

Earl Wilson American Journalist, Gossip Columnist

Let’s talk about the MSAF The MSAF means more to students than just a sick day. We should recognize its importance to mental health

Amanda Watkins Production Editor

McMaster used to have a forgery problem.

For a number of years, students were known for forging doctor’s notes to get out of assignments and attendance when they did not have symptoms of physical illness.

In an effort to deter students from breaking the law, McMaster initiated the Student Absence Form, or MSAF, that would allow students to excuse themselves, without providing a doctor’s notes.

The MSAF allows students to report instances of an absence that falls under one of the categories of “Illness” or “Injury.”

I recently filled out an MSAF for an illness that was brought on by an excessive amount of stress, and had it denied by a professor.

I chose to be honest in my report and explain to my professor how

I was diagnosed with anxiety and obsessive-compulsive disorder two years ago, and while it is not something that affects me regularly at this time in my life, it is something that still comes up at times of high stress.

I was told that these were issues “beyond [their] ability to accommodate,” and essentially, that the MSAF could not cover instances of mental illness.

When I brought up the issue with friends who needed time off for similar reasons, they asked me blankly, “why didn’t you just lie?”

More professors seem to be accepting of physical illness over mental illness, and a number of students who suffer from recurring anxiety, depression, or other mental health issues, will fill out an MSAF for physical illness, rather than confront the challenges that may come up from addressing their mental health.

McMaster created the MSAF so students would not feel the need to lie about being ill. Yet by declining reports of mental illness, it not only leads to false MSAFs, but it makes students feel ashamed of their health,

and encourages students to second-guess and neglect their illness, which can lead to misdiagnoses over time, and the perpetuation of the idea that stress is not an illness.

While the Student Accessibility Services allow students who have ongoing concerns to receive accommodations, there are many students who, like myself, are only affected on occasion, and should not feel forced to register a “disability” that they do not believe requires constant accommodation. In the same way that someone who misses class because of re-occurring allergies throughout the year is not expected to claim disability, a person who has re-occurring mental illness should not be expected to claim disability.

The MSAF is a valuable resource that many Canadian universities do not have access to and that I am grateful to have. But if McMaster wants to stop students from filing fake illnesses, then they should start forging a better path for the acceptance of mental illness.

Letter to the Editor I am a practicing dentist for 35 years in Hamilton, and I am leaving in a week and a half to work in El Progreso, Guatemala to help care for the dental needs of the local Mayan people.

Most of the criticism in the article can be true. But the assertion that it is colonialism to try to help the local population is not true. We must always be careful not to impose our views on others, and the writer is doing just that. Yes, travelling to other countries can be a life changing experience. We have so much in the developed world, we should do more to make our world more equitable.

Our mission is in collaboration with a family from Grimsby, who have made a commitment to live in Guatemala full-time and do everything to improve the lives of the people of their area. We cannot change their lives completely, but taking our skills to people in need, with humility, can make a difference. My belief is that our mission has had an effect, the main one is that we now have local dentists helping us treat the patients. Last year we helped over 300 people, with the help of four local dentists. Our team members have come back with a totally changed perception, and a wish to continue to help.

The people of the town of El Progreso are grateful for the assistance of the Canadians, the Doppenberg family, and the people from our area who come to Guatemala to work with and

for the people. We must never underestimate the power of our example and the importance of our presence, that we walk in their footsteps for the time of our visit. As a lifelong Scout and Scout leader I believe in the Scout Law: “A scout’s duty is to be useful and to help others. And he is to do his duty before anything else, even though he gives up his own pleasure, or comfort, or safety to do it. When in difficulty to know which of two things to do, he must ask himself, ‘Which is my duty?’ that is, "Which is best for other people?"---and do that one. He must Be Prepared at any time to save life, or to help injured persons. And he must do a good turn to somebody every day.” All Without Reward!

Even before our first trip, I asked the Doppenbergs whether sending the money that I had earmarked for our trip to support a local dentist in doing the work was a better use of our resources. They were emphatic that our presence was very important.

We must always keep first and foremost in our minds that whatever we do is not for our reward, but for the good of others, and as long as we are humble, seek to assist not solve their problems and always respect their humanity, we will be helping not colonial.

-Laszlo Szoke

Laszlo Szoke

to onesies

to 6 a.m. gym calls

to visiting moms

to wiping out on the sidewalk

to Obama Funk to 8 Mile to Ken Chong from Hong Kong to mac’s strong ping pong to exec apps being in to strong immune system game to Olivia Chow to roll up the rim to freaking win. My 5/13 streak is on fire.

to thirsty roommates to egotistical Jasons to missed photo credits to manrating to ugly babies and the silent stigma surrounding their criticism to fallen Stars to salt scum on winter boots to fossil fools

to hot hearsay

to the longest week

to reading week

to consolations

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Thursday, February 12. 2015

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The McMaster Students Union

PRESIDENT’S PAGE

It is estimated that one in five Canadians will experience mental illness in their lifetime, and youth aged 16 - 25 are more likely to manifest signs

of mental health distress than any other age group. Conversations are a powerful tool for raising awareness surrounding these issues, as well as assisting individuals in addressing their own mental health concerns. It is for this reason that the McMaster Students Union (MSU) is working to start more conversations on the topic with the #MacTalks campaign.

In the past, the MSU has created a variety of campaigns, such as “Stomp the Stigma” and #TodayIFeel, which were designed to highlight the impact of conversations concerning mental health. These campaigns promoted the sharing of lived experiences, as well as the availability of resources on campus. However, despite these ongoing conversations, there is still plenty of work to be done. The University has recognized the need to better address student mental health concerns and as a result, over the past 13 months countless hours have gone into developing the “Student Mental Health and

MON, FEB. 23 MSU and You: Intro to Mental Health Strategy

MSU’S MENTAL HEALTH AND WELLNESS AWARENESS WEEK

CFMU 93.3FM 12:00pm − 12:30pm

FEBRUARY 23 – 27

Pictures of Peer Support

Mindfulness Monday SWELL (MUSC B118) 1:30am − 2:30pm

The MSU’s commitment to mental health can be seen every day through our various services.

Well-Being Strategy”. This strategy was developed with support from the MSU, and addresses priorities such as mental health training for McMaster staff and faculty, as well as increasing patient capacity at the Student Wellness Centre.

The strategy is set to launch on February 25, 2015 in the McMaster University Student Centre Atrium from 12:00 p.m. - 1:00 p.m., halfway through the MSU’s Mental Health and Wellness Awareness Week, otherwise known as #MacTalks. The #MacTalks campaign will run from February 23 27, and will feature a variety of events with the goal of fostering purposeful conversations surrounding mental health. The week will also highlight the many resources available to students with mental health concerns.

TUES, FEB. 24 Pictures of Peer Support MUSC Atrium 10:00am − 2:00pm

QSSC's Selfcare Series: Boardgame Afternoon MUSC 221 1:30pm-4:30pm

WED, FEB. 25

The MSU’s commitment to mental health can be seen every day through our various services, including: the Peer Support Line, the Student Health Education Centre, the Queer Student Community Centre, and the new Women and Gender Equity Network.

You can learn more about what these services can do for you by participating in #MacTalks activities, or visiting msumcmaster.ca.

Progress and change start through meaningful conversations. Through #MacTalks we hope to further develop a culture of open dialogues concering mental health and wellness at McMaster University. Check out the events, share your stories online, and start conversations that help build a supportive campus community.

THURS, FEB. 26

Strategy Launch

ThursTea

MUSC Atrium 12:00pm − 1:00pm

SWELL (MUSC B118) 10:30am − 11:30am

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Around Campus

Around Campus

Thursday, February 12, 2015

Eliza Pope Photo Reporter

“It wasn’t until I left home that I realized how much I love my parents.”

“What makes you happy?”

“Honestly at this point it’s just success and the little things in life.

Whether it’s a high grade on a paper, or winning Roll Up the Rim. Little things like that, I guess.”

“What’s one thing you wish you said to someone?”

“Probably my aunt— I was in Poland over the summer, and I didn’t hang out with her as much as I wanted to. She passed away in November, and I regret not telling her how much I love her. I knew she was sick, but I didn’t know how sick she was.”

“Do you remember when you were most happy?”

“Last weekend.”

Around Campus

Thursday, February 12, 2015

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“What was the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do?”

“It was kind of shitty watching my grandfather die— that was agonizing. I couldn’t just not see him, because it’s the end, right?

It’s not like he’s ever going to get out of the hospital. At that point, it’s a little bit worse everyday— watching his psyche deteriorate.

You know, going from what he was to just wanting to get out of the hospital for one night.”

“It sounds like he was pretty special to you.”

“Yeah, I liked him. He... he was always there. That’s just it.”

“Tell me about a unique experience you’ve had.”

“Definitely going to Lake Louise. There’s a little tea house that you can climb to— you can climb a mountain right beside the lake. It’s about an hour and a half climb up. The view from the tea house— even if the tea wasn’t that great— was just phenomenal. I felt humbled.”

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WHAT’S SWEETER THAN CANDY THIS VALENTINE’S DAY? From cards to candies, chocolates to flowers, Valentine’s Day can get pretty expensive. But who says you have to spend a lot of money to show your affection? This Valentine’s Day, celebrate your loved one, friends and family without breaking the bank. Saving money can be so sweet.

1. Make a personal gift.

A photo collage or a box full of special little keepsakes can make a memorable Valentine’s gift and probably last longer than a box of chocolates.

4. Celebrate the next day.

There’s no reason you can’t celebrate Valentine’s Day on the following day. The benefit – everything is half off!

2. Avoid high priced restaurants.

Instead, go for a winter walk and then stop into your local coffee shop for a hot chocolate and yummy treat.

5. Do something different.

Gather a group of friends, order pizza and watch a romantic comedy (or cheesy horror flick).

Cozy up and spend the night in with your favourite people.

3. Skip the store-bought candies and chocolates.

Bake your own sweet treats. Not a baker? Buy a box of ready-made red velvet cake mix; add some icing and sprinkles and you’ve got homemade, straight from the heart, cupcakes.

This is a paid advertisement by the Student Success Centre.

The Student Success Centre is located in Gilmour Hall 110 or you can visit online at studentsucess.mcmaster.ca.

Have fun this Valentine’s and remember the more creative you get, the less money you will spend.

Did you know... that McMaster has a new online resource to help students better manage their finances? Mac’s Money Centre is a completely free, online resource that addresses some of the biggest concerns and stresses students have when it comes to money. The website includes in-depth information, success tips and infographics on paying for school, living on a budget, credit and debt. As well as planning tools, excel spreadsheets and a video-based financial program, enRICHed Start, that focuses on helping students achieve financial success.

Check out Mac’s Money Centre at money.mcmaster.ca and follow on Twitter @MacsMoneyCentre for the latest news, information and events around campus related to financial wellness.

Upcoming Event: Let’s Talk Dollars & Sense We all know money doesn’t grow on trees – or does it? Join Mac’s Money Centre in the MUSC Atrium for some candid and truthful talks about money, website demonstrations and exciting giveaways.

Tuesday, March 3 | 11:30am-1:30pm

Opinion

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Opinion

Accomodating learning disabilities Tobi Abdul Asst. Lifestyle Editor

There exists a paradox in higher education where one type of learning is inadvertently favoured while we simultaneously promote equal opportunity for all. Each professor has developed their own preferred teaching style and often structures their classes, syllabi, and lectures under the, most likely correct, assumption that it will work for the majority. But what does this mean for the rest of us? For students with diagnosed and undiagnosed learning disabilities, it is often frustrating and stigmatizing to be outside of the typical learning style that universities usually cater to.

When you grow up with a learning difficulty, you develop coping mechanisms that allow you to make up for the gap in skills that do not come naturally to you. Student Accessibility Services exists to limit the gap and hopefully make the classroom an even playing field through note-taking services, accommodated tests, use of a dictionary, and other accommodations, but it is often the professor that has the biggest impact on one’s learning. Something as simple as the tools a professor uses to lecture can make a giant impact on the level of understanding that a student with a learning disability has.

Even students who do not have learning disabilities but process information in different ways can feel out of the loop, which can lead to feelings of incompetence and a low perceived image of intelligence.

Is it enough to lecture to the majority? What about those who fall outside of it? It is common for professors to lecture orally without accompanying

slides or with inadequate slides in hopes that most students are able to process information in such a way. For students with auditory processing issues, like myself, it is frustrating to sit in a lecture where I can’t keep up, or where I cannot tell how the professor is organizing the material. Using slides is a simple visual cue that allows someone to see where one point ends and another begins.

In an institution that values critical thinking skills, it is time that we think critically about the message sent when some students are forced to spend a lot of extra time to simply understand the lecture material, let alone do readings or assignments. Although note-taking services help to fill the gaps in many people’s understanding, it is often tough to use someone’s notes to understand all the material. One person’s train of thought or writing style might not be conducive for another person’s full understanding.

Where do we go from here?

The first step is for professors to understand that although they have preferred lecture styles, there are ways of ensuring that students are getting the most out of lecture without drastically altering their own lecture styles. When you cater to the majority, in terms of the most common type of learners, a lot of students are excluded. It is possible to cater to the most students, including both those with typical and atypical learning types.

For professors who like to lecture orally, uploading annotated podcasts would not be that much more difficult, especially for those who combine oral lecturing with visual cues.

This allows students who have a hard time processing information to rewind and replay the lecture at home. In addition, ensuring that every professor is

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using lecture slides and uploading them onto Avenue is also an easy way to limit gaps in the classroom. The best way to ensure that all students are able to engage with the lecture material is to add a mix of visual and oral stimuli.

There are always going to be exceptions to the rule, like students who learn best kinetically in a subject that cannot adapt that. However, it is easy for professors to compile a list of external resources that might facilitate an easier understanding of subject material. Assessments are always going to be a grey area between needing to measure understanding and allowing students to use their best tools. I hope that we one day move towards a future where

13

City council’s lack of commitment to Light Rail Transit is detrimental to Hamilton’s development.

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How can we make our classrooms welcoming for students with different learning styles? there is a fluidity in final assessments so students can complete either final projects or exams, but until then, I think we need to reassess what goes on in the classroom.

We forget that a lot of kids with learning disabilities become adults with learning disabilities. It’s easy to think that you lack competency in a lot of areas, and this can be detrimental to self-esteem and progress in school. By professors realizing this and taking steps to change it, hopefully we can limit the learning curve that a lot of students have to overcome to be on the same playing field. @toe_bee

“

Even for students that do not have learning disabilities but process information in different ways, feeling out of the loop can lead to feelings of incompetence and a low perceived image of intelligence.

EDITORIAL CARTOON

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Opinion

Thursday, February 12, 2015

Winter accessibility on campus Alex Zavarise Contributor

Following the snow day on Feb. 2, I woke up the next morning and looked out my window only to see that my street was still covered in a thick blanket of snow. With a heavy sigh, I began to put layer after layer of clothing on in preparation for my commute to Mac. As I walked to the bus stop, I breathed a sigh of relief when I noticed that the majority of my neighbours had shoveled their sidewalks, including my 84-year-old next-door neighbour. There would be no need for snowshoes today, I thought, but I was wrong.

When I finally arrived on campus, I stepped off the bus and wound up ankle-deep in snow. In life, you are rarely presented with such a terrific opportunity to develop the fluency, creativity, and duration of your cursing. After I concluded my symphony, I began

to wonder why it was that my neighbour, at the age of 84, was able to clear his whole sidewalk on his own, while my university, complete with an entire Snow Response Team (yes, that’s an actual thing), was not. With a heavy heart, I continued my arctic expedition to my first class of the day.

As snow continued to fall, I noticed two small snow ploughs clearing University Avenue. I stopped for a moment to watch the elusive Snow Response Team in action. Continuing my trek to class, I tried to stay on the pathways that had actually been cleared, but they were few and far between. When not on a cleared pathway, the combination of heavy snow, slush, and icy ground made it difficult and dangerous to walk on.

When I finally got to class, I couldn’t help but think about how difficult it was for me, an able-bodied individual, to get around in the snow. I started to wonder how the students

or faculty with disabilities managed to get to class in such conditions, and that was when I realized that some of them hadn’t. I looked around the room and noticed that one of my classmates who uses a powered wheelchair wasn’t in class.

This may have been a coincidence, but it got me thinking about how accessible campus really was.

Over the last few years, McMaster has actively worked to make buildings on campus more accessible on the inside and out. Over the past summer, for example, the Campus Store underwent heavy renovations, resulting in a new ramp, which made the store wheelchair accessible from the outside.

Similar renovations can be seen all across campus.

However, while proposing new ways to make McMaster a more accessible environment is obviously important, fancy new ramps are absolutely useless when they’re covered in a foot

of snow. Even several days after the snow day, the ramp to the campus store and several other ramps across campus had still not been cleared. You would think that if the entire city of Hamilton was so overwhelmed with snow that McMaster University finally decided to declare a snow day, the Snow Response Team would spend that time ensuring that the university was clear of snow, allowing campus to be safe and accessible.

Dumping bags of salt on snow, rendering the pathways a slushy wasteland, does not count as making campus safe and accessible. If my salt-encrusted boots cannot safely

“

navigate through campus, neither can wheelchairs, walkers, crutches, or canes.

If a student cannot attend a lecture because the Snow Response Team failed to make campus accessible, it is the job of the university to reform the snow removal procedure. Whether this involves making room in the budget for more snow ploughs or a full reorganization of snow removal procedures, something needs to change. A student should not have to suffer academically because their university failed to make campus accessible. Should the Snow Response Team ever find itself overwhelmed, the university should close until campus can be made safe and accessible for all of its students.

Fancy new ramps are absolutely useless when they’re covered in a foot of snow.

Oh Hamilton, where are you going?

Rob Hardy Contributor

Recent reports detail Hamilton’s newly elected council getting back to the hideously long saga of this city’s transit woes. Having run on a platform of creating a citizens panel to investigate this issue, Eisenberger’s strategy proved victorious, but at the expense of taking a lateral rather than a forward step.

Indeed, city council itself had long since approved breaking ground on Light Rail Transit if the province paid the full cost (and who wouldn’t accept close to a billion dollars for badly needed infrastructure?). So the idea of backpedaling and spending more money to now re-engage citizens doesn’t make much sense. After all, we’ve heard plenty regarding how people feel about rapid transit, and millions have been spent on reports in the process.

Moreover, transit implementation is too important to be influenced by dubious sentiments or opinionated naysayers.

Urban planning is largely determined by the flow of needs and rarely by public concern. That is not to say that our voices should

not be taken into account, but by now we have weighed in sufficiently.

I am a huge proponent of seeing LRT built in Hamilton as quickly as possible. The need for updated transit in this city is staggering. Toronto has buses, and also streetcars, subways and future LRT lines in the works.

Even the much smaller cities of Kitchener-Waterloo already began construction on LRT last year. Given that we are much larger and closely linked to the Greater Toronto Area, there’s no excuse for us to be lagging behind.

For those who say that we can’t afford it, this is ridiculous if the province commits to funding. And the benefits of LRT are more favourable than the current HSR system. Days of full buses passing you by in sub-zero weather would be history given the capacity of an LRT car. And if not now, how would we ever afford it in later decades without provincial funding? Or are opponents excited to think of Hamilton with nothing but buses for years to come?

Our hesitation has contributed to the province wavering

On Jan. 21, the Hamilton city council voted 9-7 for removing the controversial, downtown bus lane.

JON WHITE/PHOTO EDITOR

on their commitment and could very well sink this project, which has been discussed for nearly a decade now. Building it would still take years. Yes, the construction would be a nightmare, but it’s the price municipalities around us are also paying in order to have greater long-term benefits.

Unfortunately, I am not hopeful that any progressive announcements are imminent.

With the scrapping of the experimental bus lane downtown, it’s clear council is not on board.

A current grassroots campaign urging city councillors to take the bus for one week was met with immediate rejection by some of them, with one councillor stating that it would be “unrealistic.” He’s definitely right that taking the HSR is unrealistic, as many commuters find when they spend hours of their day crossing the city, making detours, waiting for

connections, and missing routes due to systemic problems. If he doesn’t want to ride transit buses, then why should the general public?

I am very critical of this debacle, and I have every right to be. I was born in Hamilton and watched as my former hometown of Stoney Creek got swallowed up by an amalgamation with Hamilton 14 years ago. Contrary to rationale, taxes went up, not down, and services got cut. When asked why I don’t vote I say because my city no longer exists. Now even with a beefed-up tax base some claim Hamilton cannot afford to even maintain an LRT system.

However, this whole issue goes much deeper than transit.

It’s emblematic of Hamilton’s whole culture. If one contrasts Gore Park to Dundas Square, or any part of Toronto’s downtown, the difference is stupendous.

Rather than vibrancy and lights,

ours is a story of pawnshops, liquidation stores, dollar stores, and boarded-up storefronts. In fact, Hamilton now has only a single Cineplex remaining within the old city boundaries.

There has been much discussion as to why McMaster students do not see Hamilton as a viable place to live after graduating. I know that some seem to like it here, but the answer to that question is very obvious to me. We are surrounded by many options throughout Canada, as well as in booming global economies, and Hamilton is simply not cutting it.

Of course, things are looking better, but the same can be said for all of the GTA. We have so much potential, with so many investment opportunities to attract, but we must act quickly.

And given Hamilton’s past track record, I’m not holding my breath.

Opinion

Thursday, February 12, 2015

www.thesil.ca

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Celebrating

Valentine’s

This Saturday, don’t succumb to societal pressures and expectations.

Michelle Yeung ANDY Reporter

Valentine’s Day used to be a big deal back in my elementary school. My classmates and I would get an entire period on Feb. 13 to decorate our brown paper bags, garnishing them with pink hearts, red roses, and all the glitter we could find.

At home, I would spend the evening working on Valentine cards for my friends, filling in the “To:” and “From:” lines with ardent determination.

But these days are long gone. What used to be a sweet holiday rooted in celebrating love between people has soured with age. Now, many couples feel a need to make Valentine’s Day a big deal. Those who are single experience the same, but in an “anti-love,” “pro-I’m-justgoing-to-watch-The Notebookand-drink-copious-amountsof-wine” manner. The effort we used to spend making valentines is now spent on booking reservations for dinner with our significant other, or spent wallowing in our singleness. Of course, this is a generalization.

Most people do not consume Valentine’s Day in excess. But those who do have made it into a nightmare that festers with stuffed animals and sad people – an unbearable day for most.

At the epicentre of a hurricane of Cupid’s arrows and prix fixe menus, many couples feel pressured to make Valentine’s a big day. Otherwise it seems to suggest that something is missing in their relationship.

Perhaps they aren’t into each other enough, or maybe things aren’t as serious as they think. It is conventional to give each other gifts and go on fancy dinners, despite the ridiculous inflation of prices. Everywhere you go will be filled with people; it’s ironic that, on a night meant to celebrate the intimacy between two people, you must do so in places where throngs of other couples are attempting the same feat.

Making each other feel special is something that can be done on any day of the year, not just because Hallmark or the calendar told you to do so. In

fact, it can be done in the simplest of gestures. You can find Valentine’s Day in remembering your boyfriend’s favourite kind of donut at Tim Hortons, or by surprising your girlfriend with a cup of coffee while she’s studying. It doesn’t take much, and it certainly does not have to be on a designated day of the year.

Similar pressures fall upon you if you’re single. You are persuaded to release the intense hatred against couples that has been harboured all year long.

It is a day that encourages you to wallow in your loneliness, to eat your feelings away. Since the start of the month, I have received countless invitations to events cursing cupid, thrashing love, and glorifying the single status.

I have friends who invite me over to watch romantic films and talk about past relationships. Although these are often gatherings organized in good fun, those who truly do feel lonely on Valentine’s Day should remember that couples do not miraculously form on the fourteenth of February every year. They’ve been together every day before that. Why choose this arbitrary day to feel the effects of loneliness? You were comfortable with yourself every other day, and a day when couples celebrate themselves does not mean you have to glorify your singleness as some form of empowerment. Being comfortable in your shoes is empowerment enough – you need not provide this skewed form of validation for anyone.

This Valentine’s Day, it doesn’t matter whether you’re in a relationship, single, or anywhere in between. Don’t let society pressure you into glorifying your relationship status.

Doing so distorts the beauty in loving relationships, and belittles what it means to be single.

Those who are annoyed by this day need to treat it as any other. Though the fourteenth of February is central to romantic love, it is really an opportunity to celebrate love in any form.

Perhaps this year, spend some time writing valentines for your friends, family, and even for yourself.

@mich_yeung

FEEDBACK

Should Mac divest from fossil fuels?

Jill MacDonald

English and Multimedia II

I believe that we should continue to invest in fossil fuels since we are making profits. Our environment would be damaged either way.

Kevin Bonneau Arts & Science I

I believe that any form of rapid change would just be ineffective and cost a lot of resources, but slow change and gradually waning ourselves off would be a better alternative.

Jihae Jeon

Life Sciences I

I don’t think we should stop investing in them because it’s hard to use other sources of fuel. We could limit the use and invest in other types of fuels we could use as well.

Christina Vietinghoff Arts & Science IV

The university needs to publish all investments and immediately divest from environmental degrading and oppressive companies, otherwise we have no integrity.

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Opinion

www.thesil.ca

Thursday, February 12, 2015

Reviving the Mockingbird narrative How will Harper Lee’s sequel be received by the public?

Emily Current Contributor

There are some books that you will likely have read regardless of which high school you attended. To Kill a Mockingbird is one of them. Just recently, it was announced that Lee is set to release another novel this July, called Go Set a Watchman, as a sequel to To Kill a Mockingbird.

The announcement alone of this book has received such widespread attention that we can be sure that its reception will be notable.

As one of the most taught books in high schools, To Kill a Mockingbird and its teaching takes on a certain narrative.

Students reading this book are pushed towards condemning the majority of the white characters in the novel for their overt racism. However, less often are these students encouraged to consider the racism and prejudices highlighted by the novel outside of the context of the book itself. Thus most of the people who read this book today fail to see how relevant it continues to be. With this is

mind, we can wonder whether the same will be true of Go Set a Watchman?

In the past year there has been a lot of discussion within the media of racial tensions in the United States. One of the most well-known examples of this was in regards to the shooting of Michael Brown. Back in November 2014 when the announcement was made that there was not enough evidence to prosecute Darren Wilson, I remember seeing a Facebook post relating the following quote from To Kill a Mocking-

NOW on

facebook and twitter!

bird to the current situation: “Atticus-” said Jem bleakly.

He turned in the doorway.

“What, son?”

“How could they do it, how could they?”

“I don’t know, but they did it. They’ve done it before and they did it tonight and they’ll do it again and when they do it — seems only children weep.”

This quote refers to the conviction of Tom Robinson.

The parallel between it and the shooting of Michael Brown is that both are instances of black men falling victim to the judicial system. Overall, though Lee’s books are both set decades ago, the racial tensions that they deal with are present today.

It remains to be seen how the continued existence of these racial tensions will influence the reception of Go Set a Watchman. We will surely see many people rush to buy the new

“

Most of the people who read this book today fail to see how relevant it continues to be.

release of an author whose only other book is a 55-year-old piece of classic literature. But how will they react to actually reading the book? Will they consider the racial tensions it discusses only within a historical context, or will they be willing to consider these tensions in relation to today’s struggles?

Of course we cannot know the answer to this until July, but we can be sure that how Go Set a Watchman will be received is something to watch for.

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Thursday, February 12, 2015

Sports

The Silhouette

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Ontario universities are left to make their own policy when it comes to concussions.

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Marauders women's basketball managing to win despite injury problems.

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Ina Onat rallies on the court John Bauer Contributor

The road so far

McMaster has been drawing international students for most of its more than 125 year history. Among them are those who represent the Marauders and their home countries both on the scoresheet and in the classroom.

Volleyball teammates on the court and good friends off it, Ina Onat and Nicole Goricanec have taken roundabout journeys from living abroad to home games at Burridge Gymnasium. They tell their stories in this two-part series.

-----------------------------------Some athletes, it seems, are born wearing a uniform. You can tell they are going far from the very first time they hold the ball in their hands. This is not one of those stories.

Ina Onat was born in Brampton, Ont. to a Turkish father and a Canadian mother, and moved to Turkey in the fifth grade. She was first introduced to volleyball in grade school. Onat remembers her troubles the first time she stepped onto the court.

“I sucked at volleyball in gym class,” she said.

But when her father asked her about it, she told him, “Dad, I want to get better at it.”

If there is one adjective that comes to mind when you listen to Onat tell her story, it is “defiance.” Not in a rude, trouble-making sense, but a defiance of any obstacle that life throws in her path.

Her father signed her up for a local team to help her develop her skills, and the rest is history.

“From there it just kept going and then it came to a point where I was like, ‘I can't stop, I've been doing this for so long,’” she said.

• Born in Brampton, Ont.

Her Obstacles Life threw her a cruel twist of fate in her final year at Westmount Secondary School. Onat had moved back to Ontario after five years in Turkey, starting her Canadian high school experience in grade ten. In her last year, Onat was looking to get recruited to play volleyball in the United States. Over the span of a year, she suffered multiple concussions in a series

LEAGUE AT LARGE The OUA at a glance

Men’s Volleyball OUA

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• Moved to Turkey in the fifth grade • Moved to Hamilton, Ont. as a Grade 10 student • Had multiple concussions • Now an Outside Hitter on the Marauders volleyball team

But for Ina, that was just simply another hurdle over which she sailed with patience and acceptance.”

To many people a situation like Onat’s would be a dark time in life, but she saw it as one of the times she grew the most as a person.

“I honestly wouldn't take it back if I could relive my life because I learned a lot from it.

It helped me grow,” she said.

It also helped give her an idea of what she wants to do with her life. Currently a social science student, she is looking to major in psychology, neuroscience and behaviour. Her goal is to become a sports psychologist to help other players in the position she was in just last year. But whether she wants to do it in Turkey or Canada is still to be determined.

“That's a very tough question that I haven't asked myself,” she said.

Her Future Women's volleyball has a large following in Turkey, with a three-division women's league and a national team ranked 11th in the world (Canada sits 16th). Onat sees this as a possible way to continue her volleyball career after she graduates from McMaster.

“I definitely don't want to stop playing. I'm at a different level than I was before because

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of freak accidents. Volleyballs to the head, getting hit by loose furniture in a car as the driver slammed on the breaks, and other mishaps began to wear on the normally upbeat Onat.

“Basically there was a point where I would keep getting hit in the head somehow and I was very paranoid about it.... I never thought I would be healthy again,” said Onat.

Soon, she found herself not living her life. She started to avoid her friends.

“I would just go and stay in my room all the time,” Onat said. “I would be scared of people just touching my head.”

But Onat would find her way back to the volleyball court.

As a recruit to McMaster, she worked with a sports psychologist to recover.

“It took me two months to be able to get back to playing and not be scared. It wasn't an easy process. I would get hit in the head... and be terrified and have a breakdown, but then I would see that I was fine. But that happened several times before I trusted and fully understood that not everything would give me a concussion.”

“Ina is a fighter. She has had every reason to quit, every reason to give up, yet here she is,” said teammate Rebecca Steckle. “One concussion is not easy – but multiple within a few short months can easily look like the end of a sports career.

McMASTER RYERSON WATERLOO YORK QUEEN'S WESTERN GUELPH WINDSOR NIPISSING TORONTO RMC

of all the injuries, but it would definitely be a dream of mine to go back to the city I was playing in,” said Onat.

That city is her Turkish hometown of Marmaris, on the country's Turquoise Coast. A tourist town of about 30,000 she described it as “nothing like Hamilton at all. I was two blocks from the beach ... I never spent time watching TV. I was always outdoors.”

When Onat played her first game as a Marauder on Jan. 11, she had come a long way from gym class in Marmaris. She could at long last symbolically close the chapter of her life filled with frustration, frequent visits to the sports psychologist, and guarding her head from every potential impact. Since then, she has added two more games to her story as a McMaster athlete.

With the playoffs starting in the coming weeks it is unclear whether she will see any more game action this year. Not only is she still a rookie, but also the team is grooming her as an outside hitter after she played middle blocker in high school.

But with two of the team's outside hitters in their fourth years of eligibility, Onat's time to begin a new chapter is coming sooner rather than later. Pretty good for a player whose career started with the words “Dad, I'm really bad at volleyball.”

"We're always open to new ideas, but we as a league are not interested in 2015" Gord Grace CEO of the OUA, speaking about the OUA declining a football interlock schedule

On the lookout: Athletes to watch this week

Rachel Holmes Women's basketball › PPG 9.6

Holmes will be the player to watch in the game against the Guelph Gryphons on Feb. 14. In the game against the Toronto Varsity Blues, she played for 39 minutes, and had 3 assists.

Blair Morgan Men's track › 3000 m PB: 8:21 Captain Morgan will be the athlete to watch at the Valentine Invitational in Boston. He's ranked 17th in the country in the 3000 m and will be looking to run a personal best at the fast track.

18

www.thesil.ca

Sports

Thursday, February 12, 2015

FEATURE

TACKLING CONCUSSIONS Taking a look at what happens when a university athlete suffers a concussion, and the

HOW TO DIAGNOSE A

CONCUSSION THINKING AND REMEMBERING

Not thinking clearly Feeling slowed down Not being able to concentrate Not being able to remember new information

PHYSICAL

Nausea and vomiting Headache Fuzzy or blurry vision Dizziness Sensitivity to light or noise Balance problems Feeling tired or having no energy

EMOTIONAL

AND MOOD

Easily upset or angered Sad Nervous or anxious More emotional

SLEEP

Sleeping more than usual Sleeping less than usual Having a hard time falling asleep

THE CASE OF KEVIN KWASNY Scott Hastie Sports Editor

Concussions are a hot topic in sporting circles, and for good reason. Suffering multiple brain injuries has been linked to degenerative neurological diseases, like Alzheimer’s.

Recent research has discovered improved methods of treatment and diagnosis, but implementation of that research is lagging behind.

The lack of policy and awareness has already had real-world consequences on Canadian Interuniversity Sport.

One CIS football player is suing his university for brain injuries sustained in a game, claiming the training staff “ordered” him to play after disclosing symptoms of a concussion.

Ontario University Athletics– the governing body of university sport in this province– does not have a concussion policy for their member schools. Currently, schools adhere to their own procedures.

The OUA plans to implement a conference-wide policy next season. Through interviews with medical staff at McMaster and executives in the OUA, it appears that a policy may not be enough to improve the treatment athletes receive when they suffer a brain injury.

Athletes at McMaster are protected, though. The university has been ahead of the concussion treatment curve and work to educate coaches and athletes about the dangerous injury.

With concussions being so prevalent in all levels of sport, The Silhouette looks at how the issue is being addressed at Ontario universities and what the risks are if organizational stances remain stagnant.

It has not been a great year for Bishop’s University football.

Their regular season was a wash, going 1-7 on the year.

Something larger looms over the program, though– something that could alter the landscape of university football in Canada.

Kevin Kwasny is a 23-yearold Winnipeg native who suited up for the Bishop’s Gaiters as a defensive end. His football career ended on Sept. 10, 2011 in a game against Concordia.

According to a lawsuit filed by the Kwasny family, Kevin suffered a hit to the head and reported feeling dizzy with blurred vision to coaching staff.

The lawsuit alleges that Kwasny was told to reenter the game, where he would suffer another hit. The athlete’s condition worsened and he was brought to the hospital. Bleeding in the brain put Kwasny in critical condition.

Kwasny was in a coma for two months and upon waking up, it was determined that the football player had irreversible brain damage and will never be able to work again. In a Globe and Mail interview, Kevin’s father discussed the issues his son is battling.

“He lost his whole right side, as if someone drew a line down him.

He’s got some of it back – his fingers and his arms moving– and his leg is a little bit moving but not fully,” said Greg Kwasny.

The Kwasny family lawyer told the CBC that the university has not apologized or offered any help.

This is one of the most dramatic brain injury stories

from Canadian university sport, providing an example of what can happen when athletes attempt to play through concussions. While CIS sport may not be the most glamorous level of athletics, it is not immune to the serious damage that comes with head trauma.

And it’s not just playing through a concussion that is a problem. Suffering multiple severe blows to head can have ramifications later in life.

There can be serious long-term implications on a person who does not have their concussions properly treated. The National Football League is (reluctantly) coming to terms with this reality. In the summer of 2014, the NFL settled a class-action lawsuit filed by a group of former NFL players who claimed the league was negligent in its treatment of concussions. According to an Associated Press article from July 2014, the league agreed to pay $870 million over 65 years to “cover retirees who develop Lou Gehrig’s disease and other neurological problems.”

It is unclear whether one of those “other” problems includes chronic traumatic encephalopathy. CTE is a degenerative brain disease that can only be determined post-mortem and has been found in athletes who play contact sports and experience repetitive head trauma. Though CTE originally believed to be a disease that took a lot of time to appear, that belief was shattered a 17-year-old was found to have early onset of the disease in 2010.

McMaster athletes will not face this problem, as the university has adopted strict return-toplay protocols based on the research of brain injury experts. The Marauder athletic department has worked to ensure that their athletes are well-protected.

CONCUSSION TREATMENT AT MAC In 2011, McMaster athletics overhauled their concussion protocol. The department provided The Silhouette with a copy of the concussion guidelines that was emailed to McMaster coaches, student athletes, therapists and student therapists.

Those guidelines “are based on consensus from the 3rd International Conference on Concussions in Sports.” Major changes include preseason baseline concussion assessment, a series of tests used to evaluate an athlete after they suffer any kind of head injury. Mac uses the latest version of the Sport Concussion Assessment Tool (SCAT3) and ImPACT, a computerized concussion evaluation system.

Dr. David Robinson joined McMaster in 2011. As team doctor for the men’s football program, concussions play a major role in his day-to-day work. Dr. Robinson explains what happens when medical staff suspects an athlete suffers a concussion.

“For instance, if it’s a football game, it’s identified that a person may have a concussion, probably by Chris Puskas, the athletic therapist. The player is removed from play. On the sidelines, I do some screening and if there’s any concern at all, the player is removed,” said Dr. Robinson, who is also the team doctor for the American Hockey League Hamilton Bulldogs.

“It’s not too hard to make the diagnosis that a guy is concussed. That’s just a hard and fast rule; we do not put guys back in if they suffered a concussion.”

From there, Mac has a return-to-play policy that takes a minimum of seven days to complete. Dr. Robinson says it’s “iffy” for a player to play only a week after the injury happens.

“90 percent [of athletes] recover within 10 days time. 95 percent recover within a month and the remaining 5 percent may take months to cover or may not recover completely,” explained Dr. Robinson. “Younger athletes (i.e. adolescents and teens) may take a little longer

Sports

Thursday, February 12, 2015

www.thesil.ca

STAGES OF

HEAD-ON

CONCUSSION

RECOVERY STAGE 1

dangers associated with the lack of awareness about brain injuries

“

The issue is, if you’re not completely recovered, your threshold for a second concussion is remarkably lowered.

Dr. David Robinson Men’s Football team doctor

than these time frames.”

Concussions can be confusing to personally interpret because they differ from other physical injuries. Bones break and muscles tear, but an injury to your brain is not as simple.

If you break your hand, you understand that you will not be able to use your hand for the things you usually do. Concussions do not work that way, as symptoms can show up after the injury is sustained. The complicated understanding of the injury can lead to athletes wanting to reenter games or return to play too early.

“The issue is, if you’re not completely recovered, your threshold for a second concussion is remarkably lowered.

It will take less of a blow to concuss you, and your recovery is going to be prolonged,” said Dr. Robinson, noting he has never had a Mac athlete resist being pulled from a game due to a concussion.

Athletes are understanding of those health risks. Dr. Robinson says athletes may believe they are fit to return, but when they are shown their failing test scores, they will change their tune.

Coaches are just as receptive. There has not been “one bit of resistance” on concussions diagnosis from anyone in the athletic department.

McMaster coaches have the benefit of working alongside a cutting-edge sport medicine clinic. Not all schools have this, and the OUA is working to help those departments.

19

Possible concussion diagnosed.

Medical staff reevaluates the athlete after the game. The concussed athlete is told to rest.

STAGE 2

THE OUA’S MISSING POLICY

the game, Finch returned to play. At the time, the university would not confirm Finch’s injury, but Western’s The Gazette spoke with a source close to the team who said the quarterback had a concussion.

The quarterback would then suffer a concussion– this was confirmed by Western– against Windsor and face a prolonged recovery. Finch took a full week of rest, lying down in a silent, dark room. He is medically cleared to play now, but Finch told the Hamilton Spectator that if he gets another serious hit to the head, he doesn’t know if he could move forward in the sport.

Grace was asked if the OUA has heard any concerns about any member school’s policies.

“It hasn’t been expressed to me. Nothing has come across my desk where somebody has questioned the protocols of

As it stands, the OUA does not have a concussion policy.

“What is in place right now is that each university has their own policy in place,” said Gord Grace, OUA CEO. “That’s something we’re reviewing right now. We have some language around [concussions] but we’re looking to review our policies on it.”

Grace says the OUA was prompted to change its policies because of the attention that concussions have received.

Conversations with the CIS and other sporting groups have led the conference to a review of their approach to the brain injury.

When asked about limited resources available to smaller athletic departments, Grace said that he does not expect anyone to have an issue.

“Whether you have in-house capabilities or you outsource it, all universities have access of collegiate athletes to [athletic have a history of multiple health care], concussions working with the local medical community … of concussions occur during games That’s opposed to practices) what everyone is doing right Estimated now,” said Grace. He of athletes do not report pointed out feeling symptoms after a that concusconcussive blow sions are not isolated to student athletes, so universities will already have treatment in place.

Grace believes that schools certain universities, but it is an have “established good proissue out there. It’s an insurtocols.” But this past OUA ance issue as well,” said Grace. football season had a glaring “There’s a number of reasons misstep in concussion treatmotivating us to take a look at ment. this, but that’s not one of them Will Finch, quarterback for – that somebody is not at a the Western Mustangs, took standard that is expected.” a big shot in a regular season “We haven’t heard that, match-up with McMaster. but that’s one of the goals of a Despite taking a substantial global policy, that schools are hit and being removed from adhering to what the interna-

36% 78%

47%

tional standards are.”

And there are limitations to what the OUA can actually enforce. Grace, who took over as CEO in Sept. 2014, contrasts the league against professional leagues. Schools have their own existing protocols on campus that apply to all students and they cannot tell the schools what they have to do. Grace says it’s about coming to a consensus and working with member schools to implement policies to keep athletes safe.

Moving forward, the OUA plans to present a concussion policy to the universities at the annual general meeting, where the conference could decide to officially endorse the policy or not.

THE FUTURE OF TREATMENT Kevin Kwasny’s family continues to battle Bishop’s University in court. There have been many hurdles in their fight for justice, and they will have to continue to wait for their day in front of a judge as the university tries to bring the case to the Quebec court system.

It is clear the OUA is trying to get concussion treatment right by implementing new (as policies. But the organization only has so much power, and the success of those policies relies on buy-in from athletic administration. Given the recent track record, it is unclear whether all schools will approach concussions with the respect that brain injuries require. @scott1hastie

The athlete continues to rest until they are symptom free.

Rest means complete cognitive rest: no school work, no classes, no work on screens like computers or phones, and they are off any kind of physical activity.

STAGE 3 Once symptom free, the athlete attempts light aerobic work like spending 10 minutes on an exercise bike, raising their heart rate to 120 beats per minute. If they do not have any concussion symptoms over 24 hours, they can move on to the next step.

STAGE 4 This step requires is a harder aerobic workout. For example, an athlete would use an exercise bike to get their heart rate to a higher rate than before to see if any concussion symptoms reemerge. Again, if the athlete is clear for 24 hours, they will move on.

STAGE 5 Athletes are now evaluated for their cognitive abilities. Dr. Robinson describes this step as a “non-contact, more skill-related” test. If the athlete passes this stage, the medical team checks the previous steps again to ensure that they truly passed the tests. Then, the athlete goes through cognitive baseline testing done at the start of the year to check whether the brain has recovered to pre-concussion health.

STAGE 6 The athlete is allowed to return to contact play. Should the athlete not show any symptoms of a concussion for 24 hours following the contact play, they will be permitted to participate.

STAGE 7 After clearing all the steps, the athlete rejoins their team or program in their full capacity.

Sports

Thursday, February 12, 2015

20

www.thesil.ca

Marauders persevere through injuries Sofia Mohammed Sports Reporter

With injuries hitting the McMaster women’s basketball roster, the resilience of the team has been put to the test. They have had to look deep in their bench and despite this, the No. 9 Marauders have still managed to make it work.

“Unfortunately injuries are a part of it,” said head coach Theresa Burns. Injuries when playing an active and fast-paced sport at the university level are inevitable, but this team has helped each other along the way. McMaster may have suffered another hit to the roster after the game against Queen’s; Clare Kenney’s status is unknown after suffering an injury in that game. The team is treating the injury “day-by-day.”

Injuries in the off-season to Jelena Mamic and Isabel Ormond saw them unable to suit up for the entire season. Firstyear guard Linnaea Harper also had her playing season come to an early end when she suffered a broken foot while playing against Guelph. Though not being able to contribute big numbers on

the board, anybody who watches a game knows the ir presence looms large. They are on their feet when a big play is made, are always ready with a high-five when substitutions are called and are a part of every team huddle.

As the team plays their final three games of the regular season, they will look to continue the same type of game they have been playing. With the playoffs approaching, the players both in and out of uniform will have to continue to create a positive atmosphere to win. The team will also have to rely on their depth to ensure a spot in the nationals.

“We will continue the same style of fast pace. We need to be smarter and more tactical about subbing rotations and timeouts.

We know the pace we want, we have to be smart about how we play that way,” said Burns.

Burns’ players have demonstrated strength and leadership qualities, something she is proud of. When an injury happens to a player, it impacts the dynamic of the entire team. How well this team has been able to bounce back with a winning mindset is telling of their attitude.

“I have seen strong leadership all year. Everybody on the roster has stepped up and shown

character and adversity,” said Burns of the qualities noticed in her captains, veterans and the newer players who have matured and taking on bigger roles.

The entire team has risen to the challenge.

The players who have been playing big minutes will continue to do so. We will also notice the bench check-in more as they will have to make their playing time count.

Injuries have allowed greater minutes for players who previoulsy may not have had much hardwood exposure. Newer faces on the roster have been given the opportunity to strengthen their skills and are given the chance to play better.

“I am pleased with the team’s progress. We are very young and I am optimistic of the future,” said Burns. As of press-time, her team owned a 12-4 record.

Had there been a roster of 14 healthy players all season, there’s no telling how far this talented team would go. What we know for sure is this basketball team is capable of making a run in the playoffs.

“How far?” is a question that only the team can answer.

JON WHITE / PHOTO EDITOR

@itssofiaAM

VOLLEYBALL PLAYOFFS MARAUDER @ THE BURRIDGE GYM

POSTGRADUATE CERTIFICATE FROM RETAIL MANAGEMENT TO LOGISTICS: THIS PROGRAM OFFERS THE UNIQUE SKILLS YOU WILL NEED TO LAUNCH YOUR CAREER AS A FASHION BUYER, BRAND MANAGER, PRODUCT DEVELOPMENT MANAGER, VISUAL MERCHANDISER AND MANY OTHER EXCITING CAREER OPTIONS.

business.humber.ca/postgrad

WOMEN’S OUA 1/4 FINAL

MEN’S OUA FINAL FOUR

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 14 McMASTER VS. WESTERN 7:00 PM

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 20 #1 McMASTER SEMI-FINAL, 8:00 PM SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 21 GOLD MEDAL MATCH, 8:00 PM

Positive Space Provider Program

F!%K Cupid!

When: February 12, 2015 from 01:30PM until 04:30PM Where: MUSC 224

When: February 12, 2015 at 09:30PM until February 13, 2015 at 02:00AM Where: TwelvEighty Bar & Grill TwelvEighty’s Anti-Valentine’s Day

The H.E.A.R.T. workshops are a series of

Party in support of Cardio Care.

learning opportunities on the subject of

Featuring DJ Jet Carson.

human rights, equity, accessibility and respect at McMaster University.

K E E W G IN D A E R

A l ’ l t F a olk ! h T 2015

VISIT WWW.MSUMcMASTER.CA/CALENDAR FOR OUR FULL CALENDAR OF EVENTS

22

www.thesil.ca

Crossword

Games

Thursday, February 12, 2015

ACROSS 1. Some overreachers, on stage 5. Prefix with “line” or “mine” 10. Wall Street optimist 14. Twin of Genesis 15. “Beetle Bailey” character 16. Long, heroic tale 17. Phrase in a parental lesson 20. Fem-to-be 21. Not ersatz 22. Some are liberal, some are martial 25. Society newcomers, briefly 26. Creamed corn container 29. Stuff for healing or soothing 31. Formed an opinion 35. Words from Wordsworth 36. Like an x or y graph line 38. ____ Bora 39. Not to be much of a conversatonalist 43. Petroleum org. since 1960 44. Bacteria type, informally 45. Passenger’s concern, in brief

46. Walked determinedly 49. Certain type of ruler 50. Boy of the house 51. Attacked (with “into”) 53. Corrosive chemical 55. New Jersey port city 58. Like some eclipses 62. “Ask nicer than that” 65. “Zip-_____-Doo-Dah” 66. Mexicali Mr. 67. Makes knots 68. Infamous loch 69. Give this for that 70. Picket fence part

DOWN 1. Company with famous toy trucks 2. “And step on it!”

3. “BLT, hold the ____!”

4. Indian classic “Kama ____” 5. Put in the lineup 6. Theater for some vets, briefly 7. Type of race 8. ____ on (incited) 9. Controlled, as a horse 10. Have a sassy mouth 11. Conversant about 12. Teachings passed on over the ages 13. If you drop it, you may see things

18. Kind of medicine or tea 19. Type of steak 23. Get ready to take off 24. Narrow cuts 26. Some silver salmon 27. Change according to circumstances 28. Not once 30. A photo finish 32. Man associated with a famous parting 33. Poet’s inspiration 34. Begin’s foreign minister 37. Beast of the Andes 40. Groups within species 41. Really big show?

42. Electrify 47. Cupboard part 48. “McHale’s Navy” star Borgnine 52. Calculator key 54. Some love songs 55. Summoned 56. Passing remarks?

57. Sicily’s famous volcano 59. Brad, e.g.

60. Between continents, often 61. Kind of period or home 62. _____ Salvador 63. Tenth Hebrew letter 64. Prefix you’ve seen for fix?

pizza + movie night! medium 2 topping pizza

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The Silhouette

Thursday, February 12, 2015

Lifestyle

www.thesil.ca

23

On a student budget? Lifestyle shows you that love doesn’t cost a thing.

PAGE 24

Dress for sex-cess

Hayley Regis Contributor

No matter what your style, feel your sexiest (or comfiest) this Valentine’s Day.

Following the critical and financial disapointment of The Amazing Spider-Man 2, Marvel and Sony have announced a landmark deal in which Spider-Man will be rebooted and join the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

Spider-Man will first appear in an unnamed Marvel film before getting his standalone film on Jul. 28, 2017.

START HERE

THE FRILLY Around this time of year we see lots of delicate and dainty stuff hit the market. If this is your cup of tea, get on it while there’s plenty to choose from! Here are some pretty lacy things that really don’t need any other explanation than “treat yo self.”

DO YOU LIKE FRILLY THINGS?

YES

OM NOM NOM

NO

THE FOODIE

Bruce Jenner was involved in a car accident in Malibu that resulted in one dead and eight injured. Jenner volunteered to get his blood alcohol tested and insisted that he was not texting when the accident occured.

There are a lot of good things in life, and you my darling, don’t eff around when it comes to what is most important.

Whatever you may be wearing, you need to be able to answer the door when the delivery guy gets here and I respect that.

SHOW ME MORE

K, HOW ABOUT EATING?

NO

THE ADVENTUROUS

Iggy Azalea has another beef, and this time it’s with Papa John. The pizza delivery guy gave the rapper’s number to his friends and Iggy started getting texts from strangers.

Papa John has apologized and disciplined the driver.

Here’s to folks who might be looking for a little different kind of fun. If you’re really keen to explore check out Dungeon Divas on James St. Made by ladies, for ladies, and run by a very cool lady. Otherwise here are a few cool things to try for anyone thinking they might like to dip a toe.

SHOW ME MORE

YOU BET

UH?!

DO YOU LIKE NAPS?

THE NAP CHAMP They say sleep is for the weak, more like the reading week. Spend some time with yourself (and maybe someone else) in the lap of luxury. Pretty little things and robes are all you need to sleep and get up to some mischief intermittently.

At The Grammys, Kanye West almost pulled a Kanye when Beck won for best album of the year. Following the ceremony, Kanye said that the show is “disrespectful to inspiration,” and that Beck should give his award to Beyonce.

Jason Woo Lifestyle Editor

NO

SHOW ME MORE

YOU GOT IT

I SEE. YOU LIKE THINGS RISQUE? ;)

24

www.thesil.ca

Lifestyle

Thursday, February 12, 2015

Love don’t (have to) cost a thing

We’re familiar with the struggle. Here’s how to do Valentine’s Day dates on a student budget Kayla MacIntosh Contributor

It’s that time of year again; Cupid’s Day, Singles Awareness Day, Celebration of Consumerism and Candy Day, Valentines Day. Whatever you call Feb. 14, to me it is simply the annual reminder of how broke of a student I am. The one time of year people are expected to shower their significant other with chocolates, dinner, and romance, I am reminded of how expensive romance can be. Whether you are going on a first date or are in a long-term relationship, I have a few ideas that can help you cheat the system, because love don’t cost a thing.

Explore Hamilton Many “picture perfect” nature scenes surround Hamilton. One of Hamilton’s biggest events coinciding with this year’s Valentines Day is Winterfest. Taking place in neighborhoods across the city, Hamilton is the perfect city to enjoy this

Valentines season from Feb. 7 to 16. Free events include the festival of lights, curling lessons, horse and wagon rides, old fashion log sawing, tandem skiing, a winter soup tasting festival and many other outdoor winter activities. Last but not least for a low price of $25 per couple, you and your significant other can enjoy Hamilton Winterfest’s annual Valentine’s Day dance, including food and a long filled night of dancing.

Another great winter classic to take advantage of this Valentine’s Day is Hamilton Waterfront’s outdoor skating rink. For a mere $6.00 per skate rental, go to Pier 8 for a fun, yet cheap outdoor date.

If you’re looking for outdoor romance this year, you

should try one of the walking trails alongside one of Hamilton’s many waterfalls this Valentines Day. Brave the snow and take a romantic moonlit walk, maybe even bring along some hot

chocolate for a special touch.

Websters, Tiffany and Albion Falls, just to name a few, are only a small number of Hamilton’s most beautiful waterfalls.

If you are willing to bare the cold, hike on down to one of many waterfalls for a gorgeous view this upcoming Valentines Day. Wining and dining Reservations, expensive set menu prices and long lines; if none of these sounds like your ideal Valentines Day evening then dine in this year.

Ladies and gents, for a cheaper and more thoughtful meal make your significant other a home cooked meal. Figure out your significant other’s favorite meal, print a recipe and the rest is easy. Set the dinner table, light some candles, and play soft music in the background. You are guaranteed a

cheaper and more appreciated dinner date.

Don’t feel like cooking an entire meal? Just do dessert.

You can make cookies and cut them into hearts and other fun shapes. If cookies are too easy for you, get into the romantic spirit and make homemade chocolate-covered strawberries.

If you’re still hungry after your delicious homemade meal, you can kick it old school with some movie theatre popcorn and a Hollywood classic rom-com. If you’re a go-getter you could even pop your own popcorn, binge at Bulk Barn, buy a litre of wine and spend a much-underrated and inexpensive night in with your love.

Get creative by bringing the table setting to the floor.

Creating an indoor picnic is easy; all you need is as a picnic tablecloth, paper plates, napkins, finger foods and a glass of lemonade. Maybe play a game of cards or a good board game while you enjoy the coziness of your own living room instead of the long restaurant lines.

The power in storytelling

Stories matter - you just have to listen.

Alon Coret SHEC

In the summer of 2013, I began volunteering as a patient visitor in the long-term care ward of a hospital downtown. I became friends with two patients in particular – whom I will simply call “M” and “S” in order to respect their privacy. We would meet and chat every week, share a quick meal, play chess, or talk about whatever, really.

To this day, I pay them regular visits. M and S have become a cherished part of my life, and in turn, I have also become a special visitor to them.

In the nearly two years that I have known them, M has become weaker and lost her eyesight. S had been of great assistance, and met several times with hospital staff to advocate on her behalf. Most importantly, however, the two have

fallen in love over the years, and their recent engagement would soften anybody’s heart.

I am telling you this because these events have all been intricately weaved and conveyed through powerful stories – stories that heal in the very act of being told. I am not a physician; I am not a nurse; and I am not a social worker. Really, I have no professional qualifications whatsoever to be of assistance to M and S, both critically ill patients with slim chances of recovery. But I know how much I was able to help and learn simply by being there to listen and share. As soon as I walk into the kitchen area where M and S typically sit, I can already gauge what their day had been like.

Whatever joys or sorrows they have – I am usually one of the first people to really hear them.

There is nothing overly complicated going on here. All

I have provided (beyond the occasional snacks) is a presence and willingness to listen.

Without prodding or prompting, the life stories, hopes, and pains of these two individuals came through. And in turn, as our friendship developed, I was able to share my own stories. If something important happens in my life, they will be among the first to know.

The more general message I want you to take away is this: stories matter. They matter to the teller, and they have so much teaching potential to the listener. With Reading Week just a couple days away, think about the stories you might be encountering. It could be an elderly relative whom you seldom see; it could be your parents back in British Columbia with whom you rarely Skype; or it could be an old friend struggling

with depression, and you only find out now because, well, it’s been a while.

If you’re a taking part in any service-learning trip, rest assured that you will be meeting with many amazing people and hear some incredible stories. As a two-time Mac Serve participant, I can testify to that fact. In these instances, be mindful of the vulnerability you will be encountering; step outside of yourself and that sought-after Facebook profile picture, listen and observe closely, and take away something valuable. It is through the narratives of success and struggle – in whatever form they come – that we can raise awareness of local

and global concerns; it is by attaching a name or face to an issue that we can begin effecting meaningful social change. This is just as important, if not more, than whatever community service is undertaken.

By becoming a listener, you have the unique opportunity to learn and grow. But you might also provide somebody with a highly therapeutic experience of being heard, understood, and cared for.

I invite you to go and find that next story.

Lifestyle

Thursday, February 12, 2015 RECIPE

GIANT COOKIE CAKE Emma Little Contributor

www.thesil.ca Ingredients:

•

• •

• •

•

This Valentines Day, if your love is as strong as Troy and Abed’s from Community, then make your own giant cookie. Decorate it yourself to add a personal touch!

• • •

1 cup of butter 3/4 cup of granulated sugar 3/4 cup of brown sugar 2 eggs 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract 2 1/4 cups of all-purpose flour

Step one: Preheat the oven to 375°F. Soften the butter in the microwave, and beat in the sugar, eggs and vanilla. Next, add the flour, baking soda and salt.

POSTGRADUATE CERTIFICATE Step two: Use an electric mixer until fully combined together – an electric mixer is not mandatory, but it makes things easier! Mix in the chocolate chips.

Step three: Line a pizza pan with parchment paper. Spread the batter evenly over the parchment paper to fill the pizza pan almost completely.

Step four: Leave 1-2 inches around the edges for the cookie to expand when baking. Cut the excess parchment paper off, again, making sure to leave 1-2 inches excess.

Step five: Bake for 20-25 minutes.

You want the centre of your cookie to turn golden. If you don’t wait long enough, the middle with be very soft and dough-like. Let the cookie cool fully.

Easy Decorating: If you want to add an outline of a heart for Valentine’s Day, use M&M’s or Smarties.

Press them gently into the cookie dough before baking.

THIS PROGRAM OFFERS A CLEAR PATHWAY TO CAREERS IN THE

Difficult Decorating: Using icing is a little more advanced, but if you decide to add icing to your cookie, you need a thicker icing that will harden a little and set in place. Use a tub of Betty Crocker frosting, plus icing sugar and food colouring.

LUCRATIVE FINANCIAL PLANNING

1. Start by emptying the icing into a bowl. For one tub of icing, add two cups of icing sugar. Beat the icing sugar into the icing. I recommend using an electric mixer if you can.

ARE LOOKING FOR.

2. Add the food colouring.

Once you have the colour you want, pick an icing tip, fill a piping bag, and pipe on the design. I used two different icing tips for my piping bag, a thin round tip and a medium size star tip.

FOLLOW US ON TWITTER

@pinksburgers LIKE US ON FACEBOOK

/pinksburgers

25

INDUSTRY. IT PROVIDES STUDENTS WITH A BROAD RANGE OF FINANCIAL, BUSINESS AND SOFT SKILLS, PLUS THE OPPORTUNITY TO EARN THE LICENCES AND DESIGNATIONS THAT EMPLOYERS

business.humber.ca/postgrad

1 teaspoon of baking soda 1 teaspoon of salt 1 ½ cups of chocolate chips

Optional: • Icing sugar • Betty Crocker icing tub • Food colouring • Smarties or M&M’s

26

Lifestyle

www.thesil.ca

Thursday, February 12, 2015

The chemistry of love

The five neurotransmitters at work when you meet that special someone.

Mitali Chaudhary Contributor

Norepinephrine is the hormone responsible for causing hearts in love to beat in frenzy, and is the source of those unfortunate sweaty palms, too. It’s linked to heightened feelings of joy and excitement, as well as a loss of appetite.

Dopamine Dopamine is associated with feelings of pleasure, this neurotransmitter is closely connected to reward-related behaviour, such as dealing with food, or sex. This is also the reason why the need to see the object of our affection, or a particularly delicious dish, feels like an intense craving.

Triggered by the release of dopamine, as well as human contact, oxytocin is known as the “love hormone.” It promotes attachment and love, solidifies relationships and trust, and is involved in sexual arousal. It also plays a major role in uterine contractions during labour, and in breastfeeding.

Testosterone Contrary to popular belief, testosterone, a steroid hormone, is produced in both men and women. It’s thought to play a role in pair bonding (as levels in infatuated men decrease, while those in women increase, causing an attainment of a middle hormonal ground, of sorts). It’s also thought to be connected to raw, uncomplicated lust.

FEBRUARY 12, 2015

twelveighty’s Anti-Valentine’s Day Party In Support of Cardio Care

DOORS: 9:30PM | FEATURING: DJ JET CARSON $ 2 . 0 0 B E FO R E 1 1 P M • $ 4 . 5 0 A F TE R 1 1 P M • L A BAT T N I G HT ! $4 .00 R AILS • $4 .00 DOMESTIC BEERS ALL NIGHT LONG

P O S T- R E A D I N G W E E K B A S H B R I N G Y O U R TA N S AND SPRING BREAK MEMORIES

DOORS: 9:30PM | DJ STAPLES $ 2 . 0 0 B E FO R E 1 1 P M | $ 4 . 5 0 A F T E R 1 1 P M $ 4 . 0 0 R A I L S | A L L N I G H T LO N G $ 4 . 0 0 D O M E S TI C B E E R S

#THIRSTYTHURSDAYS

Cupid!

BRING BACK ONLY AT

F!%k

F E BRUARY 26

T W E LV E I G H T Y O W N S T H U R S D AY S .

Norepinephrine

Oxytocin

@MSU_1280

Phenylethylamine (PEA) PEA is responsible for the feeling of falling intensely in love.

Being a stimulant, much like amphetamine, it promotes feelings of infatuation and, when teamed up with dopamine and norepinephrine, gives that giddy, butterflies-in-the-stomach feeling. Bonus: PEA is found chocolate, too.

There’s nothing like the rush of intense feelings that come with a having a crush. Almost everyone has felt it before; your face heats up, stomach squirms and clenches, and your heart beats frantically.

But what’s really going on when we experience this dizzying cocktail of emotions that we call love?

Thursday, February 12, 2015

The Silhouette

www.thesil.ca

27

andy

Thursday, February 12, 2015

28

Interview: Holly Painter

Keeping up with Coming up in Hamilton

www.thesil.ca

This week’s quick picks

ANDY talks with the poet before she spoke at Bryan Prince Bookseller

MUSIC

THE CASBAH > Sam Klass > Valentine’s Dance > Street Pharmacy > Chris Caddell and the Wreckage

FEB 13 FEB 14 FEB 15 FEB 8

HOMEGROWN > The Medicine Hat > Flat 5/Dan Walsh > Karyn Ellis > Haolin Munk

FEB 13 FEB 14 FEB 20 FEB 21

THIS AIN’T HOLLYWOOD > Swampar > Dirty Jeans > Open Stage > The Independent

FEB 13 FEB 14 FEB 17 FEB 19

MOVIES

WESTDALE > Theory of Everything FEB 13-19 FEB 13-19 > Cake FEB 13-19 > A Girl Walks Home Alone At AGH ilovefilm series > Tokyo Story FEB 22 > Two Days, One Night FEB 25

Kendrick Lamar “Blacker The Berry” Other than the deeply disappointing “i” and an untitled track, Kendrick hasn’t given us much to talk about since the release of good kid, m.A.A.d. city. With that said, it’s satisfying to hear his latest offering, “The Blacker the Berry.” Following his dumb comments about Ferguson which Azealia Banks rightly called him out for, K-Dot returns with a racially charged banger. The track is full of deft wordplay that doesn’t skimp on criticism of white opressive systems, but also allows for a harrowing amount of introspection on Kendrick’s part. *flame emoji*

THE ANDY CHARTS

#

ALBUM TITLE

1

I Love You, Honeybear

2

Sauna

3

Sleeping Tapes

4

Africa Express Presents

5

Vol 1. (Endless Bummer)

6

Quarterbacks

7

Still Sorry for the Wait

8

A Year With 13 Moons

9

Non-Fiction

10

Ye not realizing the Grammys were never about honouring artistry

Tallest Man on Earth announces new album

In a world where people genuinely love Mumford & Sons, Kristian Matsson a.k.a. The Tallest Man On Earth is a salve for the bullshit. The Swedish singer-songwriter’s first record since 2012 is due out on May 12 via Dead Oceans. The album will be entitled Dark Bird is Home.

Holly Painter is a former supply teacher turned spoken word artist.

Alexandra Florescu ANDY Reporter

I cannot remember the last time I felt as welcomed as I did when I walked into Bryan Prince Bookseller on the evening of Feb. 7 for Hot Damn It’s a Queer Slam. The slam poetry circuit that tours around Ontario had made its way to Hamilton, and people had braved the cold to be there, with some even driving from the farthest reaches of the province to attend.

Among these was Holly Painter, a spoken word artist from London, Ont. who used to be a supply teacher and is now a full-time public speaker and Director of London Poetry Slam.

If you ever get a chance to watch Holly perform live, take it. Her poetry is mesmerizing even through a computer screen, but there is something indescribable about hearing her in person.

I sat down with Holly before the event. It was still early, and the bookstore was empty save us. Several people would later remark that the walls lined with books were what they imagined heaven to look like.

Yet for the time being, it was just

Holly and I, talking about her work.

When asked to name her spoken word inspirations, Holly named Shane Koyczan, telling me a story of how she opened for one of his shows early in her career as a performer.

“I will always remember that because I was still really new in terms of performing and he was a big inspiration for me, and he knew he would be getting ready for his show and would miss our performance, but it was really cool because he asked us to perform for him in his greenroom. That is something I try to replicate myself, this idea of really listening.”

Holly remembers the moment she got her first dose of slam poetry.

“I got hooked right away.

It was the environment of the poetry slam. Everyone was there to support each other, to hear each other. Having not been able to find those spaces as a young person, I gravitated towards that.”

Having worked with youth her entire life, Holly recognizes “the impact [spoken word] can have for people in general, but especially for young people that are searching for a voice. And not just to hear what people say

in their poetry and how they open up but also to see the reactions from their classmates, who are so supportive and encouraging. I share very openly my story of coming out and I speak about it through my poetry, and to see other students use poetry to open up is incredibly powerful, to think that I had some sort of role in that.”

It didn’t take me long into the performance before I saw exactly what Holly was talking about when she said that her biggest inspiration comes from the youth she works with. For youth to be able to stand in front of a crowd and speak openly and without fear of judgment was inspirational. Hot Damn It’s A Queer Slam continues to help those in the LGBQT community, and makes power of spoken word as social change apparent.

That night, Bryan Prince Bookseller became a haven. One of the performers talked about this gift of confidence that slam poetry gives to the speaker, explaining that words build spines.

For those searching for a place of acceptance, poetry slams are not a bad place to look. @alexxflorescu

the

big tickle If you had to choose one song to use as your alarm forever, what would it be?

Ray

“Good Life” Kanye West

Jem

“A Thousand Miles” Vanessa Carlton

Andy

“I’m In Love With the Coco” O.T. Genasis

Conor

“Be Easy” Massari

Andrew

“The Bad Touch” The Bloodhound Gang

andy

Thursday, February 12, 2015

www.thesil.ca

29

Two Days, One Night

Exploring the struggles in ordinary life, Two Days, One Night barely feels like fiction

Michelle Yeung ANDY Reporter

Belgian filmmaking brothers Luc and Jean-Pierre Dardenne are known for forging films about people at the fringes of society – the immigrants, the homeless, the invisible who live amongst us. Their latest film, Two Days, One Night, is a profoundly affecting account of the day-to-day struggles faced by the working class. The film’s heroine is a woman fighting for her job at a small-town Belgian solar panel plant. Though this may not sound particularly enticing, Two Days is a heartfelt, unconventional thriller that will leave you reveling in the quiet wonders of mediocrity.

Marion Cotillard plays Sandra, a mother of two who has just returned to her job after a medical leave to battle depression. During her absence, an ultimatum was posed to her co-workers: receive their annual €1,000 bonus or dismiss Sandra from her job. When the possibility of an official re-vote surfaces, Sandra’s only hope is to persuade the majority of her 16 co-workers to forgo their bonus

by Monday. With her husband Manu (Fabrizio Rongione) urg-

ing her to “fight for [her] job,” our heroine hauls herself out of bed and onto a weekend-long journey across the city to plead her case to colleagues she barely knows. We are swept up in Sandra’s fight against time through apartment complexes and soccer fields, and the ticking of the clock locks you in a choke-hold of suspense.

We soon realize that Sandra is not the only victim in this film. As she goes from door to door, we are briefly let into her colleagues’ lives. Some are sympathetic, others refuse her outright, but all have struggles of their own. This is the root of the audience’s central dilemma: who, then, is the villain? All of her colleagues have their own battles to fight, many working weekend jobs to make ends meet. By the last visit, it is still unclear whether we can consider those who refuse Sandra’s pleas to be our archetypal antagonists. We have, however, learned to predict from a glance at the doorstep how each person voted in the first round. The plot is riddled in suspense every time someone calls Sandra back as she walks away and we pray for a change of heart.

Cotillard is beyond deserving of her nomination for Best Actress at the upcoming 2015 Academy Awards. It’s one of

her best performances to date; she is magnificent as a fatigued woman who possesses both a quiet strength and piercing fragility. Through the film, she dons blue jeans and tank tops, unkempt hair and sunken eyes. Though she is a bonafide, Oscar-winning A-lister, there is not a moment where it feels as though she is pretending to be someone she is not; Marion is Sandra, a woman in recovery who continues to pop Xanax like breath mints when overwhelmed by tribulation.

Two Days, One Night is an intimate story about an ordi-

nary disaster. There is no nonsense, only brutal honesty and simplicity so that the film barely feels like fiction. It’s interesting to note that there is no score in the film. The only music comes when Sandra and her husband sing along to the radio in their car, a brief nirvana in her heavy, draining odyssey. It is 95 minutes that focus on the details of people and place, and shines light on the harrowing effects of depression.

At one point, Sandra remarks to her husband, “I’m invisible.” Indeed, the film begins with a woman who is so

lost in her despair that she has become invisible even to herself.

But through glimpses of love, courage, struggle, and even disappointment, she regains her strength. Whether she earns the majority of the vote on Monday doesn’t matter; she has already won.

As a part of the Art Gallery of Hamilton’s “i <3 filmseries,” Two Days, One Night will be playing at Jackson Square on Feb. 25 at 7:00 pm. @mich_yeung

Mozart in the Jungle is music to our ears

A look at the sex, drugs and classical music in Amazon Studios’ latest effort Rachel Katz News Reporter

A variety of words come to mind when asked to describe classical music. Edgy is typically not among them. However, with the premiere of Amazon Studios’ new show, Mozart In The Jungle, it seems as though everything old is new again.

The show centers on a young oboist in New York City as she navigates the competitive, bizarre, and at times scandalous world of the New York Philharmonic Orchestra. With an eclectic cast of orchestra members, including a drug-dealing percussionist and a fiery young conductor, the show certainly lives up to its unofficial subtitle, “sex, drugs, and classical music.”

Mozart in the Jungle adds a jolt of youthfulness and more sexual tension than a Grade 8 dance to the classical music

scene, a world usually depicted as stuffy and uptight. Right from the pilot episode though, this idea is banished completely with a party scene full of young musicians playing a drinking game where complex pieces of music are played while consuming an ever-increasing number of shots.

What makes Mozart such a joy to watch is that it sheds light on a world not often shown on television. It stands out from the slew of medical dramas and cop shows because of its quirky plot and characters. At times it is funny, full of lewd jokes about how different musicians perform in bed depending on their instruments, but at others it is profoundly moving. When the orchestra is not performing to the satisfaction of the young Maestro, he takes the entire troupe to an empty lot in the middle of New York to hold a rehearsal outdoors. As locals notice the music filling their neighbourhood, they leave

their homes to find the source of the sound, leading to one of the most feel-good scenes in recent television history. This is all done perfectly, with the moment teetering on the line of cheesy without crossing it.

Mozart is not without flaws, though. The recurring character of the Maestro’s violently passionate, borderline manic violinist wife is somewhat overdone.

Were she a more prominent part of the story, she would have grown tiresome quickly, but her fairly limited role does little to impede the show. The other most noticeable issue is that in having a large cast, each with his or her own backstory, some subplots trail off unresolved or lack a satisfactory conclusion, but none are so important that they detract

from the major storyline.

Ultimately, the show ends on a high note, with the central cast members having either gotten their just desserts, or achieved personal victories. The finale is open-ended enough for a second season, but there is

enough closure to leave the audience relatively satisfied. Does our heroine become part of the New York Philharmonic? Does she feel satisfied? Maybe it’s best if we don’t know. @RachAlbertaKatz

February 12, 2015

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andy

Hannibal ANDY judges how the TV show fares in carrying on the legacy of The Silence of The Lambs’ main character

Anthony Hopkins’ performance as Dr. Hannibal Lecter won him an Oscar. Hannibal takes up his chilling story before he is put behind bars.

Nicole Vasarevic Contributor

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30

Too often sequels to critically acclaimed films seem to be just highly anticipated disappointments that you silently scold yourself for spending money on. But if you’re lucky, you find something that keeps you crawling back for more.

When I heard that NBC was releasing a television show following the Oscar-winning 1991 film The Silence of the Lambs, I was skeptical, but curious. Holding a 94 percent rating on Rotten Tomatoes, the classic horror movie was a lot to live up to.

Simply put, the motion picture The Silence of the Lambs will leave you petrified. Anthony Hopkins’ performance as the most monstrous and cunning fictional serial killer to have ever existed is thoroughly bone chilling. Dr. Hannibal Lecter is a highly intelligent psychiatrist and psychopath whose dietary preferences involve human organs. With a total of only 15 minutes on screen, Hopkins was still able to win best actor at the Oscars in 1991. As a result, I still avoid people who dress like him for Halloween.

Hannibal first aired in 2013.

Even though it did not draw a huge fan base, it still captured about one million dedicated viewers, and for good reason.

The show explores what every Silence of the Lambs fan wonders: just how horrific were the crimes that Dr. Lecter committed before getting caught? Moreover, the television adaption allows its audience to get to know Dr. Lecter past the metal bars he is behind for the majority of the film, and while it is only starting its third season, it’s already impressing me. Not only does Hannibal have its fair share of guts and gore, but it has also been successful in carrying over the impressive amount of thought for the plot that made The Silence of the Lambs as good of a movie as it is.

The TV rendition follows Will Graham, an FBI special detective who uses his gift of pure empathy to catch serial killers, along with the guidance of his psychiatrist who so happens to be Dr. Hannibal Lecter. Little does Graham know that the monster that is mutilating bodies and eating their insides is sitting across the room from him in a custom-made suit and an expensive hair cut, feeding him the lungs of his latest victim.

Like the movie before it, Hannibal will keep you thoroughly disgusted, disturbed and fascinated by its intricate and dark plot line. Watching this show may be one of the creepiest TV addictions you will have, but it’s one you won’t regret.

andy

Thursday, February 12, 2015

Turning the

pages with andy

“

Us Conductors takes the form of a retrospective letter encompassing Termen’s life written in the hopes that it will find Clara Rockmore, his unrequited love interest.

Title: Us Conductors Author: Sean Michaels 368 pages Price: $12.40 (paperback)

www.thesil.ca

Us Conductors Tomi Milos ANDY Editor

Of the writers nominated for the 2014 Giller Prize, Sean Michaels couldn’t have been a more deserving recipient. The Scottish-born Montreal resident won Canada’s most esteemed literary honour in November 2014 for his stunning first foray into fiction, Us Conductors.

Music aficionados will remember Michaels as the creator of Said The Gramophone, a music blog that originated in 2003 that was one of the first in the world to begin posting mp3’s. Widely known as an artist-friendly blog, the site removes mp3 links within a few weeks of posting, but Michaels’ first literary effort will endure a tad more longevity thanks to both the exposure warranted by an award whose winner gets $100,000, and to the astounding strength of his novel.

For his book’s subject, Michaels chooses Lev Sergeyevich Termen. The latter was a famous Russian scientist whose fame endures to this day for both what he achieved with his scientific experimentation, and for how he served as a covert state spy during his time in America.

Termen’s most famous invention, the theremin, takes the American stylization of his last name as its moniker. It is one of the most renowned early electronic musical instruments, partly due to the fact that it is operated without physical contact, and in its lack of a tether, is notoriously difficult to play. Its sound is ghostly, and has appeared prominently in many movies in the mid 20th century who used its eeriness to heighten suspense and raise goosebumps.

Us Conductors takes the form of a retrospective letter encompassing Termen’s life written in the hopes that it will find Clara Rockmore, his unrequited love interest. While Teremin’s life is already worth a Wikipedia perusal, Michaels’ fictionalized account lends the Russian’s life a Gatsby-esque

allure. With Teremin already known for inventions, Michaels’ own fictional inventions render him a more polarizing figure that inspires compassion and annoyance in equal parts.

The novel picks up as Termen is being shipped back to Russia after a lengthy stay in New York. His tone is mournful as he bemoans the distance, both physical and emotional, that grows increasingly wider for every word he writes while locked in his cabin. The story then flashes back to his youth, as a way to give readers context and to spare them the morose struggles that await Termen on his return to a post-revolution Russia in 1938.

As a matter of personal preference, Termen pre-infatuation with Clara Rockmore is a decidedly more likeable figure than the whiney Termen who greets us on his return to his motherland. As a fresh-faced student at Petrograd University, Termen cuts a normal figure. Amongst the brilliant researchers there, his friend Sasha included, he does not feel his achievements measure up, but the state has other ideas. In their hopes to modernize Russia’s vast rural population, the Bolsheviks see electricity as a unifying force, and Termen’s ethereal instrument poses an attractive introduction to the wonders it could achieve.

Lenin himself encourages Termen to not let his tours of the instrument be confined to Europe. Termen is soon bundled up and sent to New York with his instrument and ambition in tow.

His arrival to Manhattan is greeted with all the flair a celebrity scientist could hope for, but his Soviet handler, Pash, brings a halt to the reverie when he notices an American federal agent observing proceedings from afar with binoculars.

We quickly forget that Termen is being watched as he enjoys a dizzying spell of success in Roaring Twenties Manhattan, entertaining a mix of corporate heavyweights, creatives, scientists, and students in his studio, where he both works and conducts classes for

prospective thereminists.

While enjoying his time whirling about the city, Termen grows increasingly uncomfortable. Encouraged by Pash to build prototype new devices that will lead to contracts with American corporations, Termen realizes he is a scapegoat in a ploy to obtain classified information to send back to Soviet Russia. In his hawking of his instrument, Teremen himself becomes an instrument of the country he loves so much.

As Termen becomes deeply embroiled in his feelings for a young student named Clara Rockmore, so too does he become further engrained in clandestine plots. His involvement reaches the extent that he is scheduling meetings in buildings only as to gain access to documents that they hold. After one of these episodes, Termen is forced to kill the very agent he saw upon his arrival to America with some of the kung-fu skills he has conveniently picked up.

Now with blood on his talented hands, Termen is forced to constantly be vigilant. He remains in the U.S. for a few more years before things collapse and he is whisked off to a Russia that has changed completely in his absence. Virtually penniless and living with a relative, Termen seeks the audience of an extremely high-ranking official in a bid to obtain a research position within the government but bungles his appointment after mentioning his stint in America.

As he lies in bed that night, Termen is whisked away to a gulag where he serves time as a political prisoner for no apparent reason. In its dark tone, this portion of the novel is reminiscent of Arthur Koestler’s Darkness at Noon, a tale of a communist revolutionary tried by the same government he had enabled into power.

Throughout the remainder of the story, Michaels’ imaginative prose continues to weave a spellbinding narrative whose musicality keeps one fully entranced. I for one will be waiting with bated breath for his next novel.

31

THURSDAY

EXPLOSIVE STANDARDS Chemical explosion quota in Eastern Europe met for the month C3

HAMILTON SPECULATOR ALL OUT OF LOVE SINCE 1934

NOTSPEC.COM

FEBRUARY 12, 2015

A hallmark moment for love

The only real struggle is dealing with your class

Boy, you’re more hung than Saddam Hussein.

On the heels of decades of searching, researchers have found love itself in the unlikeliest of places RICK HANNA

Be my Valentine?

Loves the way you lie

We didn’t think they could, but once again science has proven us wrong, those egotistical pieces of shit.

Researchers at the University of Greenland have procured a stable sample of element #116, Lv, more commonly known as Love, in its solid state.

“You’d never think that here, in this arctic wasteland, where not even life itself can withstand the tortures of disconnection and loneliness, we would find Love, the white whale of scientists everywhere,” said one researcher.

Scientists have not yet made a statement regarding their plans for Love, but at this juncture hope to “confirm some of the claims made in popular music about the substance.”

I would annex your peninsula!

Be my valentine, whether you like it or not.

Responding to criticism that their product line is too tame, the major card publisher released a new line of “edgy” cards

Scientists find love in hopeless place

TIBERIUS SLICK So very alone

These aren’t your grandma’s Valentine’s Day cards.

In light of allegations that recent Hallmark cards have been “tame as hell,” they have put out a new line of product that reflect a

newer, edgier consumer.

“Today’s romantic isn’t satisfied with the usual punny, softball line that we usually print. They want something snarky, referential, and possibly slightly offensive,” said the CEO of Hallmark, Frank Stacks.

In addition to the above pictured cards, the new product line will also include such lines as “I’d take a pass at your two-yard line,”

INSIDE IT MUST HAVE BEEN LOVE, OFFICIALS CLAIM A3 “I WAS BORN TO LOVE YOU,” SAY DOCTORS ON FREAK GENETIC DEFORMATION A7

“Bunker down with me this Valentine’s,” and “Even if you denied me basic human rights as the despotic leader of a fringe military republic, I would blindly believe everything you have to say and be your Valentine every time.”

On the horizon? Hallmark is gearing up for their new birthday card campaign, which puts more emphasis on fleeting mortality.

Disclaimer: The Hamilton Speculator is a work of satire and fiction and should not under any circumstances be taken seriously. Unless you’re into that sort of thing. Then do what you want. I’m not your dad. Or am I?

BOUNCERS ACCIDENTLY LET LOVE IN THIS CLUB B3 YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT LOVE IS, I KNOW WE CAN SHOW YOU C2 PER ISSUE: One Human Contact.

INCL. HST, PST & no lingering.