Single Again

Singleness Is a Gift

SSo, you’re single Again! *Ps, Your birth certificate doesn’t lie, your age is correct and God can do above and beyond what your natural age dictates. I have been divorced since 2000 and now at the age of 64 I am doing my Phd in Theology. My life and ministry has taken on a new dimension and I am surely not at any disadvantage. God has kept me so busy as his servant; I am a mentor, Life Coach and Minister of Religion mother and grandmother, I don’t have time to be lonely.

The Merriam Webster dictionary defines ‘Single’ as: Not married or related to the unmarried state. The adverb AGAIN-in the phrase: ‘Single Again, is clarifying, that this is a recurrence. E.g. I enjoyed dating before I got married; I pray that I will now that I am single again.” If this is you, you’re not alone; your singleness is a gift. Make the best of it until your next gift arrives.

In addressing sex and sexuality in the Church the Apostles left these instructions:

Matthew 5:28 Avoid lusting after someone who is not our married partner. 1 Corinthians 6:16 Avoid forming soul ties with a sexual partner that is not our spouse. 1 Thessalonians 4:3-4 Exercise self control over our natural desires.

Hebrews 13:4 Live honourably in marriage, avoiding sexual immorality. These scriptures instruct us how to live our single days well; to develop spiritual mastery over our natural desires so that we please God by living holy, fulfilled lives. It is a part of the preparation process to give your prospective partner the gift of your best self.

Tips For Spiritual and Emotional Health 1. You cannot heal the hurt you bury. Until you have forgiven and released the offending person, you literally hold yourself captive. It’s as if Jeremiah 8:22 is staring you in the face and you can’t see its promise that God will heal your soul wounds if you come to Him. So, confess to God and be made whole.

2. An unaware offender cannot make amends. If the offending person is unaware of their offence you’re doing yourself a great injustice. According to James 5:16, “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.” 3. An unwilling offender cannot be forced. There are times, when your attempts to bring closure to a situation falls through because the offender behaves unreasonably. For the sake of peace you may have to leave them with The LORD, cut your losses and move on in grace.

Spotting A Recurring Dysfunction Being single again gives us the opportunity for well needed reflection and to learn from our past mistakes. The one thing that we never want to do is repeat past errors and get caught in a cycle of dysfunctional behaviour. One of the reasons we are disappointed in some of our past relationships and why the same holds true in some marriages is that one individual may have started the relationship with ulterior motives and unreasonable expectations. We need to look out for this.

Lastly, the pretext of a dating relationship in the body of Christ, must always be fostered upon Proverbs 18:22. The scriptures advocate that we ‘date’ with a view to marriage not indulge in casual, promiscuous relationships. It’s ungodly and out of Christian character for us to go: Clubbing, online matchmaking sites etc. to ‘Look for a spouse. The Word of God demonstrated in Gen 24 the Godly pattern of how we should look for a Godly spouse. It is safer to trust your community of faith and friends as they will never knowingly dishonor or abuse you.

I pray that God will minister to your emotions and bring you a resolve to continue in faith for complete deliverance from feeling defeated because of being single again. Remain single in the house of The LORD and enjoy your singleness until your next gift discovers you. p

By Tiveen Perry Pastor, Certified Life Coach, Certified Breast Cancer Mentor.