2017 Freshman Issue

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S e p t e m b e r 6 , 2 0 1 7 • I s s u e 1 • Vo l u m e 5 • t h e s a u p u l s e . c o m

PREVIEW

TABLE OF

CONTENTS

TIMES TO LIVE BY & MAP PAGES 4-5

Whiteman-Gibbs welcomes new bio lab

First year tales from SAU professors and staff

PAGE 6

PAGE 8-9

HOW TO SURVIVE FRESHMAN YEAR PAGE 10

THEY DID IT TOO:

BUILDING UPGRADES:

FLATLINE PHOTO BY Kaci Bedgood

PAGE 11

PAUL PATTON DISCUSSES HIS UPCOMING PLAY PAGE 13

SONGS FOR SETTLING IN PAGE 12

PHOTO PROVIDED BY Mary Darling

SPORTS FOR PEOPLE WHO CAN’T

OPENING SEASONS:

PAGE 14

Everything new at SAU PAGE 15

PHOTO BY Kaci Bedgood COVER PHOTOS BY Amanda Grimes, Kaci Bedgood, Kayla Williamson & Nate Bortz

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thesaupulse.com • September 6, 2017

EDITORIAL

Editor’s Note

Kayla Williamson Editor-in-Chief With only 248 days left to call myself a full-time student, I intend to live this year to the fullest – starting with reliving every freshman year experience (give or take a few). This is my excuse to eat ice cream for lunch and dinner, attend every event, go all out for every costume event and purchase a copious number of Sacred Grounds drinks.

So maybe I would still do those if it wasn’t my senior year, but since that first year, they’ve turned into traditions. Ice cream has been my and my friends’ coping mechanism for every stressful hour of school and has become a basic food group required at every DC meal (#freshman15 #sophomore10 #junior5 #hereshopingsenior0).

Events like Homecoming, Movie on the Lawn, Lip Sync and Porchfest are all shared experiences that

are talked about years later (silverware anyone?).

Going costume thrifting for shows or parties and prepping hours before is just habit for my roommate and me. And honestly, I could pay back book fees with the amount of money I throw at Sacred Grounds.

Freshmen – just you wait. No matter how many times I can try to relive freshman year, first college experiences will always be the crème de la crop in your memories. It’s cliché but true that time flies in college. While I don’t wish to retake all my freshman classes and observe the world through my incredibly narrow freshman eyes, I wouldn’t trade those experiences for the world.

Seniors – this is it.

One last year to make our mark on this school. One last year to be immersed in a community of kind, door-opening, Jesus-loving people.

Everyone in between – savor it. In a couple years you’re next.

Excuse me while I scroll through old Instagram pictures and try not to wallow in nostalgia.

‘Til next time, Kayla Williamson

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The Pulse Staff 2017-2018 Editor-in-Chief Kayla Williamson

Sports Editor Alex Anhalt

Associate Editor Elise Emmert

Video Team Manager Brianna Buller

News Editor Nathan Salsbury

Sales Manager Kaelyn Hale

Features Editors Celeste Fendt Dana Sebald-Van Doren

Marketing Coordinator Aaliyah Winters

A&E Editor Liz Pence

Designers Kaci Bedgood Rebecca Conley Emily Spencer Staff Writers Makana Geppert Luke Richardson Hannah Shimanek Emily Spencer

Photography Editor Kaci Bedgood

Video Team John Kroll Ryan Sisk

Design Editor Andri Hill

Marketing Team Kaleigh Alyssa

September 6, 2017 • thesaupulse.com

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TIMES TO

LIVE BY Dining Commons

Cougar Den

*Located in Dietzman Hall*

Monday–Friday Breakfast 7:15 a.m.–9:30 a.m.

Continental Breakfast 9:30 a.m.– 11:00 a.m.

Lunch 11:00 a.m.–2:00 p.m.

Dinner 4:30 p.m.–7:00 p.m.

Monday-Friday 11:15 a.m.–12:00 a.m.

Saturday 7:00 p.m.–12:00 a.m.

Sunday 7:00 p.m.–12:00 a.m.

Business Office/Financial Aid Monday–Friday 8 a.m.– 5 p.m.

*Meal Exchange* Monday–Friday Lunch 11:15 a.m.–2:00 p.m.

Dinner 4:00 p.m.–6:00 p.m.

Technology Service

Saturday Brunch 11:00 a.m.–1:30 p.m.

Dinner 4:00 p.m.–6:00 p.m.

*Late Night* Sunday, Tuesday & Thursday 8:00 p.m.–10:00 p.m.

Sunday Brunch 11:00 a.m.–1:30 p.m.

Dinner 4:00 p.m.–6:00 p.m.

Monday–Thursday

8 a.m.–7 p.m.

Friday

8 a.m.–6 p.m.

Saturday

8 a.m.–12 p.m.

*Located in Poling Center*

Pokémon GO Gym

Ada’s Kitchen Monday–Friday 11:15 a.m.–1:15 p.m.

PokéStops

MAP KEY

4

1

Ganton Art Gallery

6

Smith Music Center

11 Dietzman Hall

16 Gainey Hall

2

M&D

7

Whiteman-Gibbs

12 Ralph Carey Forum

17 Lowell

3

Poling Center

8

White Library

13 Dining Commons

18 Spring Arbor FMC

4

White Auditorium

9

Ormston

14 Bookstore

19 Andrews Hall

5

Sayre-Decan Hall

10 Muffitt

15 Cougar Den

20 Fieldhouse

thesaupulse.com • September 6, 2017

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September 6, 2017 • thesaupulse.com

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News

New Microbiology Lab Weatherwax Foundation Sponsors Upgrade Nathaniel Salsbury | News Editor

T

he Department of Biology and Chemistry upgraded one of its labs in Whiteman-Gibbs over the summer to create a more modern environment thanks to donors and a grant. Spring Arbor University (SAU) decided a renovation was needed because Whiteman-Gibbs was built nearly 50 years ago.

“The facilities are older than I would like and so I’m rejoicing that we have a refurbishing right now,” Bruce Baldwin, chairperson of the department of biology and chemistry, said.

The renovated space, officially named the Weatherwax Microbiology Laboratory, features new equipment for students and new surfaces to work

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on. The new tables provide more open sightlines for the professor to supervise the students. They will also get to interact more with their instructors as the new tables provide more working and walking space. New lights were also installed and changed from fluorescent to LED. The lights will last longer and are easier and safer to dispose of once they do go out.

Shortly after students finished the school year and moved off campus, the project began. Baldwin said the goal is to finish the renovations before classes begin. However, a backup plan is set in place for the lab’s first classes if construction is not completed in time for school.

thesaupulse.com • September 6, 2017

“You can never guarantee when a project is going to finish,” Baldwin said. “It’s a good target and you do your best and then you react if things don’t work out.”

In the middle of the 2016-2017 school year, SAU applied for a grant from the Weatherwax Foundation, the namesake of the new lab, with the hopes of renovating one of the labs in the science department to create a more modern, high-tech microbiology lab. The Weatherwax Foundation is a Jackson-based organization that provides funding to help strengthen various educational programs in the county.

Chief Financial Officer and Vice President for Finance and PHOTO BY Kaci Bedgood Administration Kevin Rose assured that the foundation funded 100 percent of the renovation.

Although the microbiology lab is currently the only space being funded by the Weatherwax Foundation, the plan is to eventually refurbish the other laboratory spaces in the building. Whether these plans will get the funding from the same foundation or elsewhere remains to be seen, but the hope is to receive additional donations after the school is able to demonstrate the functionality of the new lab.

September 6, 2017 • thesaupulse.com

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Features

Pranks, Pizza & Preaching When Faculty Were Freshmen Luke Richardson | Staff Writer Emily Spencer | Staff Writer

F

inding out some of our professors went to Spring Arbor University (SAU) as college students is like that time in first grade when you found out your teacher does not actually live at school. Here are some stories from when professors and faculty really did live at school.

Ron Kopicko, Chaplain and Instructor in General Studies

Mary Darling, Associate Professor of Communication Mary Darling transferred to Spring Arbor for her second year of college and did not know what to expect.

“It was the mid 1970’s at the height of the ‘Jesus Movement,’” Darling said. “Living in a triple on Delta Three in Lowell Hall was a challenge. My roommate thought I wore jeans too much so she put them in the freezer in our room so they would be too cold to wear.”

In addition to her rooming woes, Darling remembers veggie pizza made with veggies left over from the previous week’s meals.

“DC pizza now is so much better,” Darling said. “Just don’t put any cauliflower on mine.”

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Ron Kopicko originally came to SAU because the man who led him to Christ became the Dean of Students. One of the things he remembers most are the relationships he formed, which still last today.

“There was a real sense of ‘we’re not in this alone,’” Kopicko said.

On the weekends, Kopicko and a friend would hitchhike as far as they could and be back before classes on Monday. They carried a sign with the word “West” on one side and “East” on the other and flipped a coin to see which way they would go. He shared Jesus with people along the way.

thesaupulse.com • Sept. 6, 2017

Paul Patton, Professor of Communication In the fall of 1970, Paul Patton attended Spring Arbor as a freshman baseball player. Patton was assigned to Gamma One in Lowell Hall, the only freshman student on a senior floor.

He did not find out until a year later that his baseball coach from high school warned SAU that Patton might have had a drug problem. The admin agreed the seniors should keep an eye on him, though Patton did not actually struggle with substance abuse.

“Finding out blindsided me,” said Patton. “I felt isolated and alone at first, but I quickly made new friendships, played baseball, and Christ was more alive in me that first year than ever before. I loved it.”

Chuck White knew he would attend SAU since he was about four years old, and campus was quite different when he arrived in 1967 compared to now. Food was served in the basement of Muffit rather than in the Dining Commons, Deitzman was the brand-new library and freshmen students had a 9:30 p.m. curfew designed to encourage studying.

One night while White was a freshman, he was out on the town with some senior friends. Since upperclassmen did not have a curfew, no one was watching the time, and before White knew it, he was out too late. However, White’s RA did not check people’s rooms, instead choosing to leave his door open and listen for those who came in late. Luckily, White’s room was on the corner of the building.

“I climbed up the fire escape and went in through the window,” White said. While other freshmen got caught, White was safe thanks to his alternate entrance.

Jeremy Norwood, Associate Professor of Sociology

Dan Runyon, Professor of English and Communication While many professors viewed college as a privilege, others tended to lean toward feelings of obligation.

“I never wanted to go to college.”

Dan Runyon said. “My mind was made up. I wanted to pursue a factory job, but my father wouldn’t hear of it.”

Nevertheless, Runyon loved spending time sitting in his dorm hallway and talking with his floormates. During his time as a student at SAU, Runyon grew in his relationship with Jesus Christ and now encourages his students to do the same.

Features

Chuck White, Professor of Christian Thought and History

The silverware debacle of 2014 was not the first time that students played a prank on the DC. When Jeremy Norwood was a student at SAU, the DC had cardboard cutouts of cereal mascots on display.

Some of Norwood’s floormates decided to kidnap the cardboard cutouts and hide them in the ceiling tiles of their room in Ormston Hall. According to Norwood, the DC was quite upset at the loss of Tony the Tiger and Toucan Sam. “We would get them out and take pictures of these things in distress,” Norwood said. They would give the mascots speech bubbles and arrange them for the pictures as though they had really been kidnapped. After the pictures were developed, they mailed them to the DC to heighten their frustration even more.

Photo Unavailable

PHOTOS Provided BY Professors and Staff

September 6, 2017 • thesaupulse.com

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Features

A Not To Do List: Freshman Edition Hannah Shimanek | Staff Writer

Dear Freshman, Welcome to college! Here you’ll have some of the best times of your life, and to help ensure this, I have constructed a list in hopes of helping you avoid committing some common college faux pas. I bring you a “Not To Do List” for college: • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Don’t wear your lanyard around your neck. It’s tacky and a sure-fire sign that you are, indeed, a freshman.

Don’t date people in your COL100. At least not while you’re in the class. No one wants to see you getting close and cuddly by the fire at Cedar Bend.

Don’t eat four desserts at every meal just because you can. The freshman 15 is real and anyone can fall victim to it.

Don’t commit to every group you sign up for at Lo-Down. Making time for classes, clubs and friends is a delicate balance, so start small and feel out how much you can handle. It’s better to join late than to quit early.

Don’t stay cooped up in your room. Go to events, try different things and attempt intramurals. If you don’t like it, leave or don’t do it again, but it’s important to try things.

Don’t feel like you have to stick with the major you came in with. You may discover new things you love or hate, so change it and change it again if you want to.

Don’t let your mom think you’re dead. Call the poor woman.

Don’t assume just because you walked the P-Loop together you found your soulmate. Refer to page 16 for P-Loop definition.

Don’t think the friends you make the first week HAVE to be your best friends for the rest of your life. It may work out that way, but don’t be heartbroken if it doesn’t.

Don’t neglect your one-on-one time with God, even if there is Chapel twice a week. Personal time with God is important, and “personal” does not mean “with 1500 other college students and Ron Kopicko.”

Don’t use all your chapel skips at the beginning of the semester. Coordinating your chapel skips should be an art form you master by second semester.

Don’t be nasty. College is all about communal living, so keep your hair off the shower wall, pick up your dirty clothes and throw your meal exchange away when you’re done eating, NOT when it starts to smell.

Don’t think your professors are solely an in-class resource. They want to help you, pour into you and build relationships with you in and out of the classroom. Go to their office hours.

Don’t take your academics so seriously you miss out on experiencing college life. As stated earlier, finding a balance is key. Part of that balance is having a social life.

Don’t take this time of your life for granted. As cheesy as it may sound, time here really does fly by. College is where you make memories, discover your passions, build lasting relationships and learn so much academically and about yourself.

Be present and embrace everything your time at SAU has to offer.

Hope this helps,

A Senior

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thesaupulse.com • September 6, 2017

A&E Features

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September 6, 2017 • thesaupulse.com

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A&E

First Year Jams: Songs for settling in and starting fresh Liz Pence | A&E Editor

H

amper? Check. Wallet? Check. Shampoo?

Check. Clean underwear? Check. A fire mixtape to get you through your first year of college? No? Don’t worry about it. I made one for you. You’re welcome.

“Tubthumping” by “Tubthumping”

BY Chumbawamba Chumbawamba getknocked knocked down/But down/But II get “I“Iget getup up again/You’re never again/You’re nevergonna gonnakeep keepme medown.” down.”

Ananthem anthemfor forthe theages. ages.When, When,inevitably, inevitably, An youfeel feellike likeyou yougot gotpunched punchedininthe thehead head you byacademia, academia,one oneguaranteed guaranteedcure cureisistotolock lock by yourselfininyour yourdorm dormand andlisten listentotonothing nothing yourself butthis thissong songfor for32 32hours hoursstraight. straight. but

“Crush” “Crush”

by David

by David Archuleta Archuleta “Do you ever everthink thinkwhen whenyou’re you’re “Do you allalone/All that we can this thing alone/All thatbe, wewhere can be, where this thing can go?” go?” telling your grandchildren that Romeo and Juliet have nothing on you and that cutie in your COL100 class. Blood feud, shmud couldn’tt even date feud. You and your boo couldn’ until J-term. (Ahem, COL-cest.)

“Don’t Carry It All” by

by The Decemberists “And youmust mustbear bearyour yourneighbor’s neighbor’s “And you burden burden within reason/And your within reason/And your labors will be labors will be when all is done.” borne when allborne is done.”

For the moments when you have to swallow your pride and reach out a hand for help. For the moments when ’d love where you you’d the people around you to do this in return.

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thesaupulse.com • September 6, 2017

“Waving Through a Window" “Waving Through a from "Dear Evan Hansen Window” from Dear Evan " “On the outside outsidealways alwayslooking lookingin/Will in/Will I I ever be be more more than thanI’ve I’vealways alwaysbeen?” been?”

This one’s for the socially anxious ones.

“I-can’ The “It-speak-without-tripcan’t-speak-without-tripping-overmy-tongue” ones. The first couple of weeks couple of lonely, weeks might be lonely, might be but whether youbut whether you too think you’re think you’re much or too not much or not enough, you will be found.

“Landslide”

by Fleetwood “Landslide” Mac. Mac

by Fleetwood “Well, I’ve I “Well, I’vebeen beenafraid afraidofofchangin’/’Cause changin’/’Cause mymy lifelife around you/But timetime makes Ibuilt built around you/But you bolder/Children get older/And I’m makes you bolder/Children get older/And getting olderolder too.” too.”

I’m getting and moving out. Also, a reminder: Call left and since you left, andI’m I’m getting worried.

“Breathe” “Breathe” from In the from Heights "In the Heights" “WhenIIwas wasa achild/I child/I stayed “When stayed widewide awake/Climbed the highest awake/Climbed to to thethe highest place onplace on every fire escape/Restless to climb.”

One for the kids who are first in their family to go off to college. When it gets overwhelming, remember remember you’re you’renot notalone. alone. overwhelming, Remember all all that that you’ve you’veaccomplished. accomplished.

Remember And then then just just breathe. breathe.

And

“The Lining Is Silver” by Relient KK

by Relient “Isn’t ititnice that thethe lining is “Isn’t nicetotoknow know that lining silver?/Isn’ t it nice know that we’re is silver?/Isn’t it to nice golden?” that we’re golden?”

A song for for changing changing ways ways and and changing mind. This When things don’ t go the way your mind. is for when things don’t youthe wanted them to, and thento,realizing go way you wanted them and then that, ultimately, they rarely do.rarely do. realizing that, ultimately, they

Paul Patton brings his historical play “Meeting in Munich” back to the Spring Arbor stage

Makana Geppert | Staff Writer

T

he passion Paul Patton has for this story is made clear by the way his hands shook and his eyes teared up when he discussed the tragedy some of the church members have gone through in the time period his play centers on. His voice rose and fell, almost as if he was performing the entire play himself in that moment.

Patton, a professor of communication at Spring Arbor University (SAU), is the playwright of the first play to be produced during the SAU fall drama season. “Meeting in Munich” is a historical reenactment based on true stories of Lutheran churches in Nazi Germany struggling with orders imposed

on them by the government. The Nazi party ordered all of the Lutheran youth groups to be disassembled and reformed as Hitler Youth. The play centers in on the battle over this Nazi order in December 1933 between two main factions within a congregation. One side is confused and opposes the order while the other half says they have to comply because St. Peter tells them to obey the king.

Patton’s play was inspired by his time as an SAU student when he did an independent study focused on the illegal Protestant church that opposed the Nazis. Patton is one quarter German, and his father fought in WWII, both of which contributed to his inspiration to write this play.

His play is part of a series of rhetorical reenactments dealing with churches facing controversial social conflicts. The first, “Meeting in Kansas,” takes place during 1858’s Bloody Kansas as the Methodist Episcopal Church struggles with whether or not to allow a pair of slave owners to join their abolitionist-dominated church.

A&E

Meeting in Michigan There are currently no other plays in this series, but Patton hopes to write another in the future.

“Now this is the thing about ‘Meeting in Kansas’ and ‘Meeting in Munich,’” Patton said. “The action doesn’t take place behind a proscenium arch, it’s not on a stage. All the action takes place in the audience.”

Patton originally premiered this play 12 years ago as part of a tour. He was asked by Professor Jen Letherer to remount this, and he happily agreed.

“Meeting in Munich” AUDITIONS Sept. 7, 4-7 pm

PERFORMANCES Friday, Sept. 29 at 8 pm, Saturday, Sept. 30 at 2 pm Sunday, Oct. 1, at 6 pm.

PHOTO BY Spring Arbor University

September 6,2017 • thesaupulse.com

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Sports

PHOTO BY Patrick Knowles

Sand, turf, and sweat: Intramural season has arrived Celeste Fendt | Features Editor

A

t Spring Arbor University (SAU), intramurals are not all about winning. They are recreational sports outside of the school’s athletic department meant to bring people together and grow the community. In addition to the healthy competition, intramurals promote exercise and outreach among students, since students from all grades can participate, including commuters.

“Our goal is to foster community and bring people together from different areas of campus to provide fun and exciting events,” Cecilia (C.C.) Said, the Intramural Director for the Student Government Association (SGA), said.

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Teams are determined

by SGA and are generally split up by floor, house or wing. However, some sports, like ultimate frisbee and basketball, give students the option of creating a coed team. Commuters also have their own team, but an individual commuter student may be drafted by another group. Faculty members, their spouses or even the president can be drafted as well.

Each season typically runs for three to four weeks. One or two weeks at the end are reserved for a single or double elimination tournament, depending on the sport and the student turnout.

thesaupulse.com • September 6, 2017

Said has been involved with intramurals since her freshman year. For her first two years at SAU, Said took on the role of floor captain for the dorm she lived in.

Because of her love for sports Said decided to apply for the Intramural Programmer position for her junior year, which is more hands-on. “[The programmers are] the ones who are out on the field making sure that everything’s going well,” she said.

Now, as a senior, Said is the Director of Intramurals for SGA. Her job consists of creating schedules for all the intramural sports seasons and making sure the intramural mission is carried out.

Said encourages all students to participate. “We’re all there to just have a good time and make new friends,” she said. “Just go for it.”

The first intramural event, the Block Party, includes sand volleyball and basketball tournaments. It will take place on Saturday, Sept. 9. The first day of the sand volleyball season is the following Monday, Sept. 11.

For more information on how to become involved, come to the first volleyball game, visit the SAU app or contact an SGA representative.

What’s New in the World of Sports Alex Anhalt | Sports Editor

Sports

Changes for the Cougars Sharp New Branding:

Keep an eye out for the fresh feline face of Spring Arbor University (SAU) Athletics. The snarling new logo brings sleek modernity to Cougar sports and reflects the impressive accomplishments of SAU’s teams. It was designed by the same minds behind the branding of Ohio State, Baylor, Texas and more and will make its way onto athletic materials across campus during the course of the coming year.

Construction on the Complex:

Construction on the Ralph G. Walker Track and Field Complex is underway despite unforeseen complications during the summer, and passersby can spot the new throwing cage standing strong above the layout of the track itself. If all goes according to plan, the complex will be finished in time for the dedication ceremony during Homecoming week, and the Homecoming 5K will finish on the track.

Jersey Shuffle:

A new logo means new uniforms for the Cougars. Jerseys with the roaring face of SAU sports will be cycled in to replace retiring numbers during upcoming sports seasons, and uniforms for ongoing seasons have already been introduced. Fans can already spot the slick look of Cougar athletes at soccer, volleyball and basketball events.

Coaching Debuts:

Upcoming sports seasons will see the appearance of several new faces on the bench at Cougar events. Coach David Darling, son of Coach Terry Darling and former star athlete at SAU, will be taking on the role of head coach for the womens tennis team. Riley Luttenton will be a new Assistant Coach for the mens soccer team, while the Assistant Coach for womens volleyball will be 2017 SAU graduate Taylor Johnston.

Next Step for Bowling:

Last year saw the debut of SAU’s bowling team, and this year, the Cougars will be hosting a tournament for the first time. Teams will compete at Airport Lanes on Nov. 11, though SAU’s Cougars now call University Lanes their home.

PHOTOS BY Chris Bauman and Kaci Jade Bedgood

September 6, 2017 • thesaupulse.com

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Features

Decoded An Unofficial Dictionary of SAU Words and Phrases

Places

Liz Pence | A&E Editor

J

argon is a linguistic shadow you just cannot shake. No matter where you go, there is always a vocabulary specific to that place. Spring Arbor University (SAU) is no exception. So, as a gift to you incoming freshman, here is an unofficial guide to all the Spring Arborspecific words and phrases you will need to know.

Concepts The Concept Spring Arbor’s mission statement, which you can find underneath the clock tower. Usually wielded like a blade of morality against anything that might not strictly be handbook-sanctioned.

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The Bubble Another name for Spring Arbor. Often used in loving frustration, when students forget that there’s a real world outside of this campus with real problems and people who need love. (Not that you don’t find those on campus.)

DC An initialism for the Dining Commons, the campus’ mainstream dining option, as opposed to Marvel.

P-Loop Also known as “professorloop.” Do you and your boo need to define the relationship, but prefer to be away from prying eyes? Walk the P-loop and see the romantic sights like your professor eating cereal at 10 p.m. on their living room couch.

People

Things Chipping The late-night act of dumpster diving in the Lay’s factory nearby because you couldn’t fit both your potato chip addiction and Spotify Premium into your budget. Not that anyone ever does this.

Clock Tower The occasional source of joy and despair. “Oh look, it’s two minutes to class. We should probably quit chilling in the D.C.” Here’s hoping it continues playing classic songs like “Let’s Go Fly a Kite,” “My Favorite Things” and “Frosty the Snowman.”

The Elephant A yellow and blue elephant statue donated to the school by the local Republican Party. Since its appearance on the library roof last spring, it has disappeared.

Leads on its whereabouts would be greatly appreciated.

groups

CORE-cest I guess we’re calling it COL-cest now, but this is the forbidden act of dating someone in your COL class. That cutie from Minnesota who hits every item on your essentials list?

Forget about it. At least until J-term.

PA Peer Advisor. That ultra-friendly, Chaco-clad upperclassmen in your COL100 class that can answer almost every question you have about the Freshman Experience, unless you want to know what time it is at Cedar Bend.

SGA Student Government Association.

Responsible for putting on most of the events that happen on campus. Located in the lower level of the student center in the room with the big glass window, just to assure you that student government is nothing like “House of Cards.”

Ring by Spring A graduation requirement: You can’t receive your diploma unless you and your significant other are engaged by at least the night before you walk. Well, not really, but as your friends get picked off two-by-two, it’ll sure feel like it.

RA Resident Assistant. The mom/dad of your floor, legally bound to only hold floor meetings at 10 p.m. Good for a number of things, including lending you a hot glue gun.

CORE COL’s predecessor. Keep a tally of how many times your upperclassmen friends forget that it’s not a thing anymore, and then complain about the “glory days of CORE.”

Brent D. Ellis Mr. President. The Big Kahuna. Rumored Brent “Duflaf ” Ellis.

Ten points if you shout “Here comes the general!” across the plaza when you see him.

The Pulse Your friendly neighborhood student newspaper. Catch us Mondays at 5 p.m. in the video lab—most likely distracted by the latest dream about dead people or cannibals our Design Editor, Andri Hill, had.

thesaupulse.com • September 6, 2017