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Pre-Owned Harley Davidson Sales & Service


Free Installation On New Tires Purchased

Time for Spring Tune-Ups Full Service Specials $159.95 (Reg. Oil) Includes Inspection $189.95 (Synthetic Oil)

offer(s) Expires May 31st, 2018

INJURED IN A MOTORCYCLE ACCIDENT? Experienced Injury Lawyer, Gary Mazin, a long time rider wants to help! 1-800-432-HURT mazininjurylawyers.com


Table of Contents

Whats Shakin’ Pg. 5 Cruisin’ With Critter Pg. 8 Lil Red Pg. 16 One Armed Bandit Pg. 18 GBNF Pg. 20 Just East Of The Rockys Pg. 22 Dangerous Donny Pg. 25 April Shop Of The Month Pg. 33 Donny Petersen Pg. 35 Biker Chruch Pg. 37 Nomadic Nomad Pg. 38 Stitch Pg. 41 Rambling from The East Pg. 43 Wheelz Pg. 44 Jessie Lee’s Open Road Pg. 46 Deep South (of Canada) Pg. 49 Motocyco Beau Pg. 50 Bikers Friendly Guide Pg. 56

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Toll Free 1-855-873-6680

Phone: (905) 253-5353

Fax: (905) 235-5358

Editor in Chief: Rick Davis Graphic Design: Brenda Murray Office Manager: Diane Davis Sales/Events: Chantel Colwill Office Gremlin: FUCK

Beau Rooney, Dangerous Donny, Donny Petersen, Maxx Kochar, Jonathan Musson, Rosaire, Angie Sandow, Jeff Burgess, Chantel, Rob Barrett, L’il Red, Guy Levasseur, Dan Trembley, Gregg Walker

MARCH March 25th - Spring Motorcycle Swap Meet Don’t miss out on all the great swag located at the Peterborough Morrow Building, 151 Landsdown St., Peterborough, ON Doors open @ 9am, with free parking, and $10.00 entry fee, kids under 12 are free, carpets roll up at 3pm. Be sure to get there early, fo ryour parking spot, and first chance to get what you are looking for. (705) 340-2130 or email ptboswapmeet@ hotmail.com March 30th- Queensmen Fish Fry Come out and join the Queensmen for March’s Fish Fry! It’s always a great time, with wonderful people. You will find them at 5189 Concession Rd. N. Amherstburg, On.

APRIL Check Your Helmet! April 7th & 8th- Spring Motorcycle Super Show Get ready to Ride!! The Spring Super Show is here! Saturday the fun runs from 9am-9pm & Sunday 10am5pm. For vendor info visit www.motorcyclespringshow. com. Be Sure to stop by The Riders Mag booth to see what we have going on there! April 13th-Friday the 13th @ Clare’s Harley-Davidson of Port Dover FRIDAY THE 13TH - The Tradition Continues Join us at Clare’s Harley-Davidson® of Port Dover at our Friday the 13th Pin Stop! Clare’s Harley-Davidson® Port Dover has limited edition Friday the 13th t-shirts, apparel & a huge selection of boots in our Popup Store in the rear parking area. All active HOG® members - Get your Friday the 13th HOG® pin! Harley-Davidson® Canada will be on site with a full display of the 2018 motorcycle lineup, new parts, accessories & merchandise. Get your limited edition Friday the 13th t-shirt and merchandise. April 13th-Friday the 13th @ Clare’s Cycle & Sports Ltd 799 Hwy 20W Fenwick, ON. THUNDER RUN TO DOVER. Join us at Clare’s Cycle & Sports - 799 Hwy 20 W. The regular location for the annual THUNDER RUN TO DOVER - RIDE LEAVES CLARE’S CYCLE FENWICK BY 10 A.M. Ride led by 97.7 HTZ-FM from Clare’s Cycle Fenwick location. Everyone Welcome www.clarescycle. com April 15th- The Barrie Swap Meet 410 St. Vincent Street, Barrie 9 A.M. TO 3 P.M. Sunday, April 15th. Come out to The Bike Builders Headquarters for all those bike parts and accessories. Free parking and vendor booths available, all makes and models welcome. For more information email; info@

motorcycleswapmeet.ca.. Sponsored by Hochberg Trial Lawyers 416- 524-8321 April 21st –Classy Chassis & Cycles- Dyno Tuning & Pipe Day Be sure to get your ride checked out by the professional and educated team at Classy Chassis & Cycles. You will find them @ 1399 Lakefield, ON, K0l 2H0. For more info give ‘em call; 1-888-292-8305, or visit them online www. usedhd.ca. April 28th- Two Fat Greeks- Open For the Season Looking for something delicious to fill your tummy? Well Two Fat Greeks, is the place to go! Located at the Classy Chassis & Cycles headquarters. So many great things to eat, and who knows, you just might find your next ride!

MAY May 4th Queensmen Fish Fry Come out and join the Queensmen for March’s Fish Fry! It’s always a great time, with wonderful people. You will find them at 5189 Concession Rd. N. Amherstburg, On. May 5th- International Female Ride Day RIDE LEAVES CLARE’S HARLEY-DAVIDSON AT 11 A.M. Lunch stop at Bruins Pub Niagara Falls (to be paid for by each individual) – draws & prizes. 590 York Rd. www. claresharleydavidson.com Group photo before we leave the dealership. May 5th- Hogtown’s Spring Open House Hogtown is having their Spring Open House, and you won’t want to miss out! There is going to be live music, door prizes, food & refreshments, motorcycle demos (Weather Permitting) and a picture. You can find them @ 164 Main St, Lucan, ON. For more info give Teresa a call @ (519) 227-1331 May 6th- 35th Annual Fort Erie Swap Meet This is the 35th year of the Fort Erie swap Meet! Come join us for the celebration! There will be kids draws, our Shinko Tire draw, food, vendors, and of course The Canadian International Biker Tare Down! Canadian vs. U.S. Military in a battle for the winners charity. The Metric Hall is growing BIG TIME, book NOW! Plus this year we have a free bus and coupons for food in town for those who attend! Give us a call today (905) 347-2001 or (289) 686-6797. May 12th- 9th Annual Ride For Trooper Mark Wilson Join the 1st Canadian Army Veterans Ontario unit as they host the 9th annual Rider for Trooper mark Wilson, on Saturday May 12th 2018. The ride is around the London area, and is to honour the life of Trooper mark Wilson, who was a London native. There will be live entertainment, a barbeque, and memorial presentation at Parkwood Institutes main building. The Rider’s Mag - Page 5

May 12th- Ottawa Swap Meet You won’t want to miss out on the 1st Ottawa Swap Meet. The location of this great meet is, 164 Argyle Street. S. Ottawa, ON. Doors open Saturday May 12th @ 8:30 A.M. and they close up shop @ 5 P.M. Vendor booths available for only $25 and there is a small $5 entry fee, plus you can’t forget about the cash bar! Harley Davidson and vintage only. For more info call 613-401-6320 or email hoszogeml@gmail.com May 12th- Niagara HOG Dice Run Fundraiser Niagara HOG is hosting a Dice Run Fundraiser for the Chippawa Legion, Branch 396. Breakfast will be available from 9 until 10:30. Roll the Bones for $5.00; we will leave at 11 am. Riding the back roads of Niagara, making a few stops on the way back to the Legion for a BBQ and Show & Shine. All welcome. May 26th- Rednecks M.C. Poker Run As the calendar starts to fill up fast, be sure you make it out to the Rednecks M.C. poker ride. Registration is at 10 Acre Truck Stop, Belleville, @ 10a.m with engines beginning to roar @ 11 a.m. The rides final stop will be 152 Clearview Rd. Sterling, ON, around 4pm. $20 a hand, charitable donations made to CMHS, colours welcome! May 26th- Classy Chassis & Cycles- 12th Anniversary BBQ Bash Happy anniversary to those great folks at Classy Chassis & Cycles! The fun starts at 11 A.M and finishes at 3 P.M. and they are located @ 1399 8th Line. Lakefield, ON. May 27th- 2804 Dice Run Come show your support for the troops at this year’s 2804 Dice Run. It all starts at 8:30 A.M. @ the J.R. Brisson Arena, 758 Rue Brebeuf St. Casselman, ON. and finishes at 10 a.m. This ride is only $20 per participant, and the proceeds go to the troops. For more information call 613327-8222 or email 2804dicerun@gmail.com May 27th- 5th Annual Ralph Kitchen Ride Join these fantastic folks for their 5th Annual memorial ride. You will find everyone @ 15651 Hwy 26 North of Madoc. From 9am-4pm, with breakfast and lots of other events. For more info contact Marg @ 613-472-4131

JUNE June 2nd- Honda & Suzuki Demo Rides Test ride Honda & Suzuki motorcycles. First come first served. Must have a valid motorcycle license approved helmet & proper riding gear. Weather permitting. R series models require full M license. CLARE’S CYCLE & SPORTS 799 HWY 20 W, FENWICK. WWW.CLARESCYCLE.COM Saturday, June 2 - 10am-2:30pm June 2nd- Highway of Heroes Ride Join us for a fantastic, family friendly, fun filled day chocked with many special events and participants to mark our 10th anniversary! The 10th edition of the HHR goes on June 02, 2018 from Trenton, ON along the Highway of Heroes (401) to Memorial Park in Port Hope, ON. Website: heroeshighwayride.ca Facebook: fb.com/ groups/HeroesHighwayRide The Rider’s Mag - Page 6

June 3rd- Veterans Memorial Ride With the success in 2016 of the Birth of a Nation Ride the HHR organizers are proud to introduce the inaugural edition of our new annual event on the day following the HHR. The Veterans Memorial Ride will travel from Kingston, ON to Ottawa, ON. Be sure to watch the website and join us on Facebook to stay up to date with all the details as the date becomes closer. Website: HeroesHighwayRide.ca Facebook: fb.com/groups/ HeroesHighwayRide June 7th- Bike Night Starts Join us at Clare’s Harley-Davidson® of Niagara, 590 York Road, Niagara on the Lake, as we kickoff our first Bike Night of The Season. Every Thursday night from 6-9PM (weather permitting), all bikes are welcome. There will be; live entertainment, food trucks, hot pig roast, BBQ, special guest clubs, weekly rides leaving at 8:15p.m., vendors, draws & door prizes! Everyone is welcome. June 7th- TGIT Ride Night Departs Thank Gosh It’s Thursday! Set your watch for 5:30 P.M. and get your bike ready for the weekly Thursday rides at Classy Chassis & Cycles. Every Thursday night you can find the fellow riders @ 1399 8th Line. Lakefield, ON. June 9th- 2nd Annual Desiree’s Ride Join us for our 2nd annual Desiree’s Ride Chatham/ Kent, in support of victims of crime. We ride in memory of Desiree Gallagher, along with raising funds for Chathum/ Kent Victim Services & Chatham/Kent Women’s Center. Located in Ridgetown On @ The Royal Canadian Legion, Branch 243-75 Main St. E. Registration @ 11am, Kickstands up @ 1pm, Ride returns @3pm. Dinner, Dancing, loads of prizes, and chance to win the annual raffle draw. For info visit www.desireesride.com June 16th- Brain Injury Awareness Ride Show your support for your local Brain Injury Association by coming out to the Greely Legion 8021 Mitch Owens Road on June 16th. Free breakfast served until 11 A.m., kickstands up @ 10:30 A.M. vendor space, live entertainment, tattoo contest, and so much more! For more information please email; awarnessride.ca@gmail. com June 23rd- Swap Meet Saturday @ Classy Chassis & Cycles Classy Chassis and Cycles have their Swap Meet Saturday going on, and you won’t want to miss out on it! For more information give the lovely folks a call 1-888-292-8305 or visit them on the web @ www.usedhd.ca June 24th-Bikefest Bobcaygeon Mark your calendars for the ever famous Bikefest Bobcaygeon! They are back for their 8th year, and it’s said to be their best yet! This family friendly event has lots to offer such as; Live entertainment, food, vendors, swag, prizes, and so much more! June 29th- July 1st- Bikers Battling Cancer In sunny Sundridge, you will find this great group of people to help fight cancer. In sunny Sundridge, you will find this great group of people to help fight cancer. They are holding their 2nd three-day motorcycle rally. There

will be many exciting thing going on such as; a swap meet, show and shine, a motorcycle rodeo and games, a pig roast, live music, participate in Sundridge’s annual Canada Day parade, along with Batman, and so much more! June 30th- Lincoln County M.C Show ‘N’ Shine The great guys from L.C.M.C will be hosting their show ‘n’ shine on June 30th. $10 entry fee, located at the L.C.M.C clubhouse 4859 Hillside drive, Beamsville, On. Doors open @ Noon, Judging @ 3pm, Awards @ 4:30pm. For more info call (905) 563-4267 or e-mail lcmc1967@hotmail.com (HARLEY JUDGING ONLY)

JULY July 6th, 7th, & 8th- 7th Annual Wheels, Water & Wings Festival Come join the fun in Bancroft On. There will be a mid-way, concerts, paddle challenges, soapbox durby, fly-in breakfast, vendors, and so much more! Rally runs, Sat the 7th, Show ‘N’ Shine on Sunday the 8th. Watch for details @ www. bancroftbia.com July 7th & 8th - Rideau Rendezvous Come party with us on the Rideau again this year! Presented by Pace Law firm it is the 2nd annual bike rally in Smiths Falls. There will be lots of camping, live music, great food, biker rodeo, show ‘n’ shine, and too much more to list! If you are interested in a vendor spot, give us a call fast as spots a quickly disappearing (613) 406-RIDE (7433) July 13th- FRIDAY THE 13TH @ Clare’s Cycle & Sports Thunder Run to Dover from Clare’s Cycle & Sports. Ride leaves Clare’s Cycle Fenwick, 799 Hwy #20 West at 10 a.m. everyone is welcome July 14th- Lucan Baconfest Oink Oink, the smell of bacon is in the air! Baconfest is an event, you will feel foolish missing. Located in Lucan Ontario, you will find anything and everything to do with Bacon, and Bikes. Vendors of all types, show ‘n’ shines, prizes, live entertainment, and so much more! For more info give Teresa a call (519) 227-1331

AUGUST Aug 8th- 8th Annual Riders Against Hunger Will you ride for food? Join the 8th annual Riders Against Hunger charity ride in support of Eden Food for Change in Mississauga. Meet us on August 8, 2018 at The Garry W Morden Centre for a 3-4 hour poker-style run. Kickstands up at 9:30am. Register online for $35 or $50 with ride T-shirt. Participants will receive their gift bag, free breakfast and a free lunch prepared by Eden Food for Change’s Chef while enjoying live music and a silent auction table. In addition, participants who fundraise will receive great prizes! For more information visit www.ridersagainsthunger.org Aug 18th- 5th Annual Desiree’s Ride- Brantford Supporting and raising funds for Victims of Crime. This marks the 5th year since the beginning of Desiree’s Ride. We ride in memory Desiree Gallagher along with raising funds for Victims Services Brantford, and Nova Vita Women’s Shelter. This ride is being held @ The Knights; 12 Catherine Ave, Brantford, On. Registration begins at 11am, Kickstands up @ 1pm & the ride returns back to The Knights around 3pm. Breakfast & B.B.Q incld in registration. For more info visit; www.desireesride.com

SEPTEMBER Sept 14th & 15th- Biketoberfest Be sure to join us again in 2018 for Biketoberfest. Festivities start with the Flag Run Sept 4th, then Biketoberfest and all the festivities start on Sept 5th. Free camping lots of vendors, food, live bands, and much more!






SHOW & SHINE ••• web: hawksmc.com

Sept 8th- 2nd Annual Desiree’s Ride Niagara Falls Come out for the 3rd and final ride of the season dedicated to Desiree Gallagher. More details to follow or visit www.desireesride.com.

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Wow! The time just seems to fly by! The days are getting longer, the sun has some warmth to it and I’m happy with the lack of snow that we have been experiencing lately! I know we will likely get hit with another dumping of the white crap before winter finally fades into Spring and we move right on into Summer, but I’ll gladly take a reprieve, however brief, whenever I can get it! Looking ahead at various new and continuation of older established events, that I’ve been hearing about, the riding season for 2018 is going to be a busy one! I just hope that the weather co-operates! I think we have finally exorcised the Gremlin from our computer system and we actually have all of our phones working as they should as well! Wishful thinking? Perhaps, but you have to have a glimmer of hope and get even a brief glimpse of light at the end of the tunnel to keep plugging along! So far, so good! The Spring Motorcycle Show (April 7- 8, 2018) at The International Centre in Mississauga is fast approaching and we are readying ourselves for it! Our very popular contributing writer, Donny Petersen will be at our booth once again selling and signing his new book “The Life of Don- Biker 101” throughout both days of the show! I have a copy and it is a good read! It promises to be a great show so come on out and stop by our booth! We will have lots of Mag support items on hand and I hope all of our crew can make it out! Then there is Friday the 13th in Port Dover in April, one of two (Hopefully warmer weather) events this year. We will be out for both of them!

John Harling – Brother of the Blades M.C. - RIP

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I got word the other day that my friend Harl from The Brothers of the Blade M.C. lost his long battle with cancer! Throughout it all he never seemed to lose his spirit and keen sense of humour and was still always there for others if they needed help! When we both ended up in hospital not that long ago and were both on the same floor Harl would wander by for a visit now and then! He was among the nicest people I have ever known and I know of anyone who ever spoke ill of him! Harl lost all his hair at one point but his smile was constant throughout the pain and the torturous treatment sessions and the aftereffects yet he was there to help his Brother, Double D through his ordeal. His hair came back and he started to gain weight again but he knew and accepted the fact that he had been handed a death sentence along with the diagnosis and that any improvement was only temporary! That didn’t seem to faze him and he looked death square in the face and said; “Fuck you, I’m going to ride my motorcycle as long as I can, live and enjoy what I can, while I can, and you won’t bring me down!” He was determined to live and die on his terms! He did that! Throughout it all, he had the full and undying support of his family, especially his daughter Briiana and all of his Club Brothers! That his what made him strong and gave him hope! It was hard to keep him away from that Clubhouse! The Brothers of the Blade M.C. was his support group, the same group that Briiana has to

help her cope with her loss! He was inspirational and was loved and respected by many and he will be in our thoughts and our hearts forever! My condolences to his family, his Club brothers and his wide circle of friends! He will be missed! I will write more when I cover his funeral at the end of this month! GBNF. Classy Chassis Shop Party It was shaping up to be a good day as I loaded up my gear and headed off to the big town of Bridgnorth, home of Classy Chassis, to check out their Shop Party! This is nice country out this way, (Great for riding!) and the miles just melted away! While I am a very social person for the most-part and do enjoy the company of others, I find the solitude while driving/riding alone, particularly in the country, to be very therapeutic and relaxing yet inspirational! It gives me time to gather my thoughts and sort stuff out! The ideas for some of the best cartoons I’ve drawn, pictures and illustrations I’ve created and articles I’ve written have come to me while driving or riding along! I soon found myself walking through the front doors of this fantastic store and was immediately greeted by the smiling face of Sales Manager, Josh Hinan! Josh is a big burly man with a great smile and a presence and personality that immediately puts you at ease! His friendly, easy going demeanor is typical of the way of all of their personnel interact with their customers! It is this warm, friendly environment that makes Classy Chassis special and unique! You really have to come here to fully understand the feel and atmosphere! It is like a Mom and Pop store for motorcycles where you are treated more like family than just customers! Their schedule of events such as this “Shop Party” is long and intensive! They really put a sincere effort into all that they do. They don’t want to just sell motorcycles they want to be part of the Motorcycling community and truly make a difference. Most all of the events raise money for charities, one of the main beneficiaries is a charity that supports our deployed troops and their families as They are all extremely patriotic! I just wandered around checking things out, taking pictures and talking to both Classy Chassis

crew and many friends along the way. I’m never sure what is what and where I’m going to find it or whom when I come here, as they are constantly changing things up to keep things fresh and so they get the optimum usage of the space that they have and to better serve their customers. It always looks great and it is absolutely crammed with motorcycle of every size, model, make and colour imaginable and judging from the price tags, they were priced to move! I noticed that there was a good selection of trikes of varying makes, makes models and colours and in fact, my old buddy Pastor Dave Neals was there with his lovely lady and he had just bought one of them and they were both extremely stoked and smiling ear to ear! I got to talk a while with Bob Neveau who used to run The National Show in Toronto for around 30 years before retiring in favour of a less stressful life and now contentedly works for Classy Chassis! Anyway, it was a very well attended event and everybody seemed to be enjoying themselves and some like my buddy Dave were taking advantage of the great prices on bikes, clothing and accessories as the riding season The Rider’s Mag - Page 9

2018 looms enticingly on the horizon! I wandered off after a time and headed for home! Recycled Gear! I was out that way and practically going past the door so I thought I’d stop in and see my buddy Steve at Recycled gear in beautiful Lindsay Ont.! He is now carrying some of our Riders Mag Swag in his great new store! Wow, he has done a lot with the place and it is keeping him busy moving stuff from here to there to figure out how best to display it and he now has a lot of room to work with and it is a nice bright and clean space as well! He is happy here and always adding to his inventory! So, if you’re looking to buy some great Riders Mag Swag or want some good deals on used motorcycle parts, accessories or clothing or have some stuff that no longer fits or you have upgraded parts and want to relieve yourself of the clutter, stop in and see Steve! PD Restoration – April 2018 Shop of the Month, Photoshoot

behind in their work and various projects but they had been spared total destruction and were able to cope and work through the massive clean-up and have come out of it all OK, but it took a while! Like the phoenix, something beautiful rose from the ashes and there are better things yet to come! They took over the unit next door where the fire had started, cleaned and fumigated the whole place top to bottom and have now opened up the walls to

PD Restoration has done this feature several times now and with the resent improvements and expansion that they have done since the fire, figured it would be a good time to do it again! The changes aren’t immediately evident as soon as you walk through the front door but it doesn’t take very long to see what has been done! It also didn’t take too long for me to pick up on the significance of picture of the flaming Ghost Rider with welcome to PD Restoration on it that hangs on the wall just inside the front door! The fire was devastating to them and put them way

that adjoining unit! There are now two large, bright showrooms, with an expanded front counter and an office, but the shop and storage areas are where the biggest changes have occurred. They now have a full, large, professional paint booth, tons room for bike storage and to store their massive

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inventory of used parts and give them better access to everything! Phil’s niece, Amanda had agreed to once again be my model, which was great because we have worked together before! She is a real treat to work with and was already there when I arrived, already to go and we got to work immediately! The weather outside wasn’t good so we shot entirely indoors with a number of bikes! That is easy, as there are so many to great looking bikes to choose from! Amanda had brought a great selection of different outfits along with her and she had already figured out which ones she would like! That is what makes her so easy to work with her as she tells me exactly what she has with her and when we walk through picking out bikes, we could plan out wardrobe changes well in advance! It made for a very smooth session! It takes more than a fire to keep good people down and this is a great bunch of people who are tenacious and determined as well as talented! They are always courteous and helpful and a pleasure to work with! Stop in and see them sometime! Policaro Harley Davidson – Soft opening I drove out on this cold but fantastic looking day to Oakville to check out the much-anticipated opening of the new HarleyDavidson dealer! The Harley-Davidson sign and part of the building can be seen, like a beacon as you exit from the QEW and you just follow it through at 191 Wyecroft Rd. in Oakville! I was already expecting something really classy as that is the way of the Policaro Family! I had seen their Porsche dealership just down the road and read much about them and had some idea of the style that they put into any and every project they are involved in. I was still amazed at what I saw here today! I was not alone as when I pulled in, I noticed a uniformed parking lot attendant at the entrance keeping the arrivals and departures of vehicles safe and orderly! Apparently, a lot of others wanted to check it out as well! The huge parking lot was absolutely packed but I still managed to grab a spot that someone had just vacated (Timing is everything!)! I made my way inside and was immediately impressed by what I saw! The last time I was here it was still a construction site and while there was some structure at that time, there was nothing that I could make out of the scene then that would prepare me for what I saw now! The place was beautiful and everywhere I looked all I could think of was “This is great!” and couldn’t wait to explore further! The layout was unique, compared Give Jason a Call: to any of the E x t . 2 7 many other dealerships I have been in! Fantastic Get Your Quote Quickly and Easily Online by Visiting: looking displays of motorcycles, motorcycle history,


We Support Motorcycle Awareness Everyday

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motorcycle parts, accessories, motorcycle art and HarleyDavidson Motor clothes were everywhere, all effectively and stylishly displayed! Some real thought and talent went into designing this place! I

made my way towards the upper level snapping pictures as I went. Touring through any event can take me a while as I always run into so many people that I know along the way and have to talk awhile! This is great because I can gauge their reactions and opinions and take all that into consideration when I sit down to write! The general consensus was that they were all equally impressed! The place has a very modern yet very comfortable feel to it from the motorcycle sales area, parts department, motor clothes department with the enormous bright fitting rooms, customer lounge, to the service area it has all been well

planned and executed! I recognized many of their staff as well, like Lois who is a very knowledgeable and experienced parts person whom I knew from another Motorcycle parts firm where she had

worked for years. She is now part of the Policaro Harley-Davidson team! They certainly went all out on recruitment to assemble some genuine talent and knowledge! The whole store just screams class and I haven’t even got to the service department yet! It too is state of the art and beyond! Huge, bright, clean, (Sure the place is brand new and should be clean! But my instinctstell me that this place will always be kept this way! I think it is standard operating procedure here!) with large ride in doors everywhere and tons of work stations! These folks aren’t messing around! They are doing things up right! Back in the store I ran into General Manager, Tony Colangelo and he was beaming with pride as he was finally able to open the doors to this great new store! I know he has been stressed out for some time now and trying to get out of the construction stage and all the other things that had to be done to get to this point was quite an accomplishment! I can only imagine the emotions that he and his entire crew were feeling at this point; relief, anxiety, pride and probably exhaustion or a heady blend of all! It was worth the wait! You have all done a great job! See you again, soon!

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Painting in broad strokes I have been noticing a lot of postings on Facebook and Social Media by people are rightfully offended and downright pissed off at a bunch of mobile signs that have been popping up in Northern Ontario advising the populace that Illegal

Cigarette sales Support Outlaw Motorcycle Gangs! Really? Is that not a little too specific a statement to make publicly? I must have missed the News of that landmark Court case where that decision was made that bikers and only bikers is responsible for illegal tobacco sales! Is that a lot like more like fear mongering and spreading false and misleading statements than a public service advisement? Is that not casting aspersions and innuendo on a specific group without the benefit of a day in Court to prove that to be a true statement rather than just an opinion? Is that not a prime example of Fake News? If this were done, stating that it was first nations people who benefitted from those cigarette sales, or Asian, Mexicans, Blacks, Italians or some offshoot religious groups those signs would have been burning soon after they went up and it would have caused outrage by offended Groups and caused widespread protests! Liberal Politicians would be wringing their hands and screaming from the rooftops! Boy Blunder Justin would have been on National TV, selfie stick in hand, apologizing to those offended and condemning anyone who dared to disagree. If such a statement had been made about Muslims or any other identifiable group there would be an uproar and the streets would be filled with protestors claiming bigotry and hate mongering and moral outrage and there would be a huge uproar! If it was stated on those signs that these sales of illegal tobacco products went to supporting radicals and terrorism all you would have heard was boom! But it is only bikers and Police and Politicians consider them to be fair game for any broad statement they chose to throw out there to paint all bikers as criminals who’s only purpose is to do criminal acts! Then they can justify to the public the huge amounts of tax dollars spent to keep an eye on Bikers! So where is the indignation and the outrage from the motorcycle community? Where are the protestors? When do the bikers march on Queens park and Ottawa demanding that they are to be treated like the taxpaying, hardworking, mothers, fathers, grandfathers, businessmen and Citizens of this Country that we really are rather than being subjected to slander and maligned by those wanting to take cheap shots? It is profiling and it is DON'T LOSE IT! as wrong for bikers than it is for citizens of any colour, identifiable group, AutoConnect, GPS Tracking Systems nationality or religious belief! It needs to stop! for your bike, boat, car or RV It has been happening for so long that many bikers just shrug their shoulders and say shit like “What are you going to do?” That is why we need groups like Sold and Installed Here! BRO and the OCC to step up and make some noise! We need them to organize protests and we need Bikers to support them! Free Pick Up and Delivery We at The Riders Mag will support these groups in getting the word out there and contributing to the success of any movement that will stand up for in the London area for major repairs our rights as citizens! This isn’t just an Ontario issue it is going on all across the Country so we need to come together for the cause because it has been going on too long! Later………. The Rider’s Mag - Page 13


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September 14th & 15th

2018 H-D

Saturday June 30, 2018 $10.00 / person @ the CLUBHOUSE

4859 Hillside Dr. Beamsville (Mountain St to Albright Manor, East on Hillside) Opens @ noon - Judging @ 3:00 - Awards @ 4:30 Call 905-563-4267 email: lcmc1967@hotmail.com (Harley judging only)

8540 Keele Street, Vaughan, ON

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L’IL RED What’s with The Snow???? I’ve sprung my clocks forward, and all it did was give us more snow. I want that hour back!! I’d rather sleep!! Then with being sick and not being able to go to the bike shows and such…I’m about due…for a breakdown, or a drink, I’m not sure which at this point. Mike will occasionally start the bikes and let them rumble in their ‘bedroom’ in the house. I know that you’re not supposed to, but just the smell of the bikes is like a drug. It’s gotta be the same endorphin-related feeling as sex, no? I’ve spoken to some buddies recently, and they’ve mentioned that they’ve taken this recent warm weather snap to sneak their bikes out for a run. I’ll be honest, they’re a braver folk than I, with all the salt on the road, the sand..and then having to watch for all the drivers that are not in the ‘watch for biker’ mode, I wouldn’t risk it. I love my bike too much. I do envy the ones that do it. Risking the salt damage to the underside of their bikes, risking the unknown sand that could be around any corner. Be careful guys, we kinda like having you around. I try to focus a lot on my Facebook page on rider safety, and I’m going to share something here that I’d like you to take a few minutes to check out. A friend of Mike’s named Glenn sent it. It’s about the safety of your helmet. This video is a tad cheesy, but the information in it is what I’d like for you to see. There’s a lot of information there on the safety of certain helmets, specifically the DOT helmets. The research is done for you, and I’d like you to make a safe choice in your riding gear, so I hope that this helps. It’s a You-Tube video, and it’s called ‘Dangerous Secrets of the DOT Helmet Standard’. Everyone has their opinions and beliefs, and I’m not saying to live your life by any set standards, but I’d like to give you the tools to help you make a fully-informed decision. Now for the really fun stuff. I’m not gonna lie, as I’m writing this, it’s coming towards the end of March. What happens at the end of March this year that I’ve been looking forward to?? The Peterborough Motorcycle Swap Meet. A number of our advertisers set up tables at these events, and I’ve found that when we go, we run into a few people that we’ve not seen much over the riding season. Plus, I always end up buying something at this swap meet. They don’t focus on one specific make, model or style of bike, so you can find just about anything there. They’ve got parts, bike accessories, clothing and food. It’s a good way to spend a Sunday, and who doesn’t need their bike fix? I hope that you’ve checked your calendars, the Spring Motorcycle Super Show is here on April 7th & 8th. With being sick, I missed everyone stopping by the Riders Mag booth at the January show, so I’m hoping to see you at this one. I look forward to going to this show, and I’ll be there Saturday so make sure you stop by and say hey. Let me know what you think of all the new changes happening with the Mag. I enjoy going for the most part to talk to folks who read the Mag and get pics with them The Rider’s Mag - Page 16

to share in later articles. Or just for me to have, because I’m not photogenic. We’ve got Riders Mag t-shirts, button-up shirts, patches, pins and other swag. Or hey, just bring by the beer nuts!!!! A girl loves her nuts! (get it? Girls don’t have nuts!! Ok, sorry, moving on) Friday the 13th is in April!! I know, I know, July’s Friday the 13th is coming, 5 years in the making for a summer Friday the 13th, but April could also be a great day for the event. I mean, we’ve had some nice doubledigit temps as of late, it could happen in April. I’m a bit neurotic, not to the point of cooking your rabbit crazy, but I can be a little obsessive compulsive about things, and I like getting to Dover as early in the a.m. as possible (well to me..8:30 is early lol) and my first stop every time is On The Fringe. They’ve always had really cool Friday the 13th shirts, and I’ve bought some really wild sweaters from them. I’m not a big fan of bling, but I do cave when in this store because their sweaters with bling vary from girlie to bike chick, and I still get compliments on them. I’ll probably be wearing my animal mask again in Dover, as the reaction it gets is quite entertaining in itself. I’d like to expand on the costume, maybe with a jacket of the same material, maybe even the pants. However, my

sewing ability is questionable at best. If our mere existence on Earth here depended on my sewing capabilities, we’d be goners. I can sew a button on like a champ, on most days. Ok that’s even questionable at best. I’ve seen pictures of things I’ve tried to sew, outfits that I’ve created, and it looks like a kindergarten school project. So, if any of you guys have a brilliant idea on this animal costume thing, I gotta know. There’s a large group of Windsisters that go to Dover, and there’s usually a meet-up somewhere (by the beach hut) for some photos, (thanks to Dan of Dan Lim Photography who’s taken some truly excellent pics). A large group of ladies such as ours, hootin’ and hollering, having a laugh, does tend to generate somewhat of a crowd. That many women riders in one spot, with our common friendship, can only be a good time! I promised to keep ya post on events out my way, after all, it’s L’il Red’s Country, so here goes. Quinte Ride for Paw’s 4th annual Poker Run is coming…June 10th in Trenton. There’s a silent auction, raffles, gift baskets, vendors, an Auction that includes sports memorabilia. They’re on Facebook and they’ve advertised in the Mag for the last couple of years now. This is the same group that does the Quinte Ride for Paws Ride in August. Bobcaygeon Bikefest is coming back!! June 24th. There’s tons of vendors, live music, food and a show & shine. I’ve always loved this event and am so glad that it’s back! I could only be more excited if they gave us goody bags, like the one’s given at birthday parties. You know the ones, with candies and toys in them that you break within minutes of getting them. Sorry, off topic. (but I still get excited for them). K, Bikefest was always one of my favourite events of the summer. It’s up there in my to-do things with Dover. So, when I heard it was back, to say I was elated would be an understatement. It’s a good day event and the town is friendly to us being there. It’s always a good ride to Bobcaygeon, and if you’ve never been, I strongly suggest this be your year. After all, the Tragically Hip loved this place! They sang about it! Our advertisers are what keeps this Mag in your hands for free, so it’s vitally important that us as writers, and you as readers, support them. I spend a good amount of play money at a couple of our advertisers, one in particular that I’m quite fond of is Sinful Delight Boutique. I wish that they were closer, but I am waiting for the nicer weather to get here so I can get a group of us girls together for ride to the Barrie location. It’s a fun group of ladies that I ride with (husbands included) so really, what wouldn’t happen taking these ladies there? We’ve done the “adult toy party”, which was so much fun (and at times, informative. I had no idea they had some of the stuff they have for women/ couples that play, I’m either old or just ill-informed!). If you’re looking to add to the Mag, great idea! You know how to find me. As always, catch me on FB at L’il Red “The Riders Mag” Central and Eastern Ontario, and you can shoot me an email at lilred@theridersmag.com. Even just to say hey!!!! I even have FB messenger for those that are FB shy. Got an event coming, hook me up with the details. It’s that easy. Cheers!

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One Armed Bandit tales of determination

Time is flying but unfortunately so is the snow! Hubby and I got out for our first ride of the season on Sunday, Feb 25. It was a beautiful sunny day in our neck of the woods - the roads were clean and dry. We were sitting around debating if we should go for a quick ride when we heard a motorcycle go by. That was the deciding factor. Our first ride of the year took us to Belfountain which was 70km round trip. You know that you have been away from riding too long when you forget how to get there! While it was sunny, it was also very windy therefore we didn’t quite make it to our planned destination which was Higher Ground Coffee, but we did pass the Belfountain sign. Once we returned home, we sadly put the bikes back to sleep. I rode my Honda Rebel as my Honda Shadow Aero was at Motorcycle Enhancements being cared for. As I write this, I can share that Hankster 2.0 is ready for pick up. I’ve seen pictures of the awesome work that John (Owner of Motorcycle Enhancements) has done and I can’t wait to ride. In addition to changing my finger to a thumb throttle, John added a backrest and Mustang bags. I must admit that I am a bit apprehensive about the extra weight, however, I know that if I give it time, I will increase my confidence and abilities. I intend to practice in a nearby parking lot as soon as the weather permits and focus on tight turns. I did not have much of an opportunity to ride Hankster 2.0 before the season ended last year, therefore, am anxious to get going as we have lots of riding planned for this year. Since my last article, I had the good fortune of speaking at the Instructor Re-Certification event held by Learning Curves in Etobicoke. I am very thankful to Don Redekop - Executive Director for inviting me to share my story with his team. If not for this fine school and their supportive instructors, I might not be riding today. It was because of this group that I learned more about myself and my abilities. I have also been very busy organizing the Women In Motorcycling exhibit for the Spring Motorcycle Show being held at the Toronto International Centre Saturday, April 7 - Sunday, April 8. If you are reading this, I expect to see you there! Please make a point of stopping by. In addition to meeting some incredible women, you will see Hankster 1.0 and Hankster 2.0 and learn more about how I ride. I will also have t-shirts and patches available for sale which share the message - “Why Discourage When You Can Encourage” in addition to offering discounts on any speaking engagements which are booked during the show. For now, I am pleased to introduce you to some of the women who you will meet at the Women in Motorcycling Exhibit. Each has a unique story which they are anxious to share with you. Sue Fitzgerald; Sue believes that travelling by motorcycle is an experience like no other! The view is only impeded by how much you can turn your head and look with your helmet on. You can hear and feel the engine keeping time with the wind rushing by. The fresh air dishes out scents like mowed hay, wildflowers and even local baked goods. Motorcycle riding enriches the soul and keeps you coming back for more! 36 years after Sue’s initial ride behind her husband, the journey has morphed into exciting forays to the far reaches (British Columbia, Newfoundland) and inner vastness (North-West Territories, Labrador) of this beautiful country. In the years between, Sue had a 16-year career as a Driver Examiner with the M.T.O. The combination of riding her own Honda 400 and sharing the exhilaration of successfully passed applicants for their M2 or full M The Rider’s Mag - Page 18

license, catapulted her into a new level of enjoyment and awareness. Sue’s current bike is her 2nd Kawasaki KLR 650 (2002). The more mud and grime the better as the mileage continues to tick upwards. Being recently retired has its benefits and 2018 plans include rides to Yellowknife and James Bay. As a recently joined member of Windsisters, Sue is looking forward to sharing new bike adventures with other like-minded women. Alexandra Joseph; Alexandra has been riding since 2007 and works full time in risk management. She also works weekends as a motorcycle instructor with Learning Curves. As far as street bikes go, her first motorcycle was a Kawasaki EX500. She purchased a Yamaha R6 the following year, after which she rode a Honda F4I. She is now the proud owner of a Kawasaki ZX-6. She is a new mother to a wonderful son with whom she hopes to share her passion for motorcycles. Alexandra will have her 2005 CRF-50 on display which had a recent makeover. Ericka Wagner; When writer, photographer, aspiring sax player Ericka decided to take the plunge and get her first bike, everything that could go wrong did go wrong. Never the less, she persisted. Now going on her 3rd season of riding, she’s on her second bike. A beat up ’80 Honda GL1100. She completed her first long distance trip last year. She hopes that her uphill battle story will give new riders ideas of what NOT to do when getting their bike! For this upcoming season she’s hoping for more kilometres spent on the bike and not in the cage, to learn how to properly fix and maintain her bike and take more pictures of awesome women on their bikes!

female to ride a bike in Canada. This is exactly why she decided to start riding! She’s always been one who stands out and plays to the beat of her own drum and what better way than to feel the freedom and the wind on her face. There are such stigmas related to women riding motorcycles and she feels that the more women who get into it, the more acceptable it becomes. She loves the challenges that riding provides. It’s completely liberating! Sherri would love to pass on her experiences and get more girls riding!! At the time of printing, I still have a few slots available so if there are any women who would like to learn more about this opportunity, please drop me a line or give me a call. If you have a tale of determination which you would like to share, I would like to hear it. Being a Contributing Writer for the Rider’s Mag has allowed me to meet so many people - many of whom I now call friends. As the riding season rapidly approaches, I look forward to getting to know many more of you. Please do not hesitate to reach out to me let’s ride together and swap tales. Until next time, #allbecauseofamotorcycle!! C: 647-226-2921 EMAIL: angsan@sympatico.ca WEBSITE: www.angproblemsolved.ca www.leftyandthegoons.com BLOG: http://angproblemsolved.ca/blog/ FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/angproblemsolved/ TWITTER: https://twitter.com/sandowangie

Sherri Hans; Sherri is a 45-year-old single mom with two girls. One of her ultimate dreams in life was to ride a motorcycle but it always seemed that life got in the way. Being a female of East Indian origin, it’s not heard of for a The Rider’s Mag - Page 19

John “Harl” Harling – Brothers of the Blade M.C. July 17, 1961 – March 14, 2018 John left us far too soon but is now at peace and free of pain! He succumbed to cancer after a long and valiant battle! He was a solid, valued, loved and respected member of the Brothers of the Blade M.C. for more than 18years and will be sorely missed by all who had the pleasure of meeting him! Condolences to his Family and friends and to his Club Brothers who meant the World to him and gave him solace and supported him in his darkest hours and hold him solid in their hearts and memories as they did in life! GBNF – L&R - RIP The Rider’s Mag - Page 20

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Just East of the Rockies by Dan T Spring is in the air and the new riding season is upon us! Time to double check the bike, the gear, and start to plan the season ahead. Looking back at those dark winter month, I kinda wonder how I made it, no choice is guess. Well one way for sure is to continuing to support those winter month events that so many work so hard to coordinate. I had just such an opportunity back in February at the Black Swan Ale House in Calgary. This of course being The Steel Horse Sociable put on by Josh Toney and Erin Noonan. It sure felt good to get out and take part in one of this great province’s energized motorcycle events. It was fun to check out all of the cool donations and just wonder at the organization and dedication of all involved. The Donations, the sponsors wow!! Myself and the packed house at the Black Swan were all amazed with the way the Calgary community came together at this excellent venue. So many donations that a few pics just can’t do it justice, but as you can see, that’s all I had room for lol. With so much good energy, it was impossible not to be thrilled to be taking it all in, almost as good as a ride! well good enough for February anyway. Al of this of course, to the Benefit of our Countries veterans. Food for the forces was again, this year the beneficiary of this event with $9300.00 dollars and multiple four wheeled electric scooters donated. In my

books, a better time could not be had! Thanks again Josh and Erin, donators, sponsors and everyone including the hard working staff at the Black swan, great night all, congratulations again. Still to come is the swap meet in Calgary hosted by Ashlee Atkin and Darren Uens at the Hillcrest Sunnyside Community Association April seventh. The Edmonton Harley Davidson Motorcycle Community and Black Jacks Roadhouse and Games Room will hold the second annual Motorcycle fashion show again April seventh with again the proceeds going to our Vets. Another not to miss event is the Bikers against Bullying Battle of the Bands April 26th in Calgary at the Border Crossing. With a great group and a great venue, this promises to be a good time. In Edmonton on the twenty seventh will be the Edmonton tattoo and arts festival. Then coming up next is the Lakeland Bike show / Swap meet in Two Hills on the twenty eighth. A little further south in Drumheller (Rosedale) will be Top Rockers second annual blessing of the Bikes. Wow, definitely no reason to go without our required fix of motorcycle related events happening around the province. With that being said, these are only the events that I am aware of so if you would like a mention or if you would like me to get your event into “What’s Shakin” in the mag, please give me a call (403 443 3126) or contact The Riders Mag, we would be glad to help you out and get the word out. With this, I will give the rest of the article over to Momma to continue to entertain you with her stories of her travels about Western Canada. RIDING WITH MOMMA Here we are in April, I don’t know about all of you but this Momma is itching to ride. Mother Nature has been on a bit of a rollercoaster this Winter. Record breaking amounts of snow across Canada has played a part in making those of us who live to ride suffer PMS. Thank goodness there is a light at the end of the tunnel, spring is almost here. Swap meets have started, riders are getting their bikes ready, and plans are being made to hit the highways of The Rider’s Mag - Page 22

Canada to see the sights. Momma is looking forward to the Medicine Hat and Area Swap Meet being held April 28th. S.E.A.R. is hoping to have a great turnout again this year. For me it will be an opportunity to get together with friends, have a beer and maybe plan a ride to parts unknown. Speaking of parts unknown, I’d like to tell you a little more about my adventures to B.C. with Part 2 of –

RIDING THE KOOTENAYS OF BRITISH COLUMBIA – PART 2 As I was telling you last month, the Mountains, Lakes and winding roads of the Kootenays are sights to see. When I finished last month, we had just left RIDER’S RANCH making our way to Creston, B.C. Creston is a country town with a variety of things to discover. When you go through Creston the road is lined with orchards, fruit stands and places to stay. This is where we usually stop for gas and any other supplies we may need before heading on. When leaving Creston, you have a choice of directions to take. If you take the #3 you will make your way over the Salmo Pass to Trail, Castlegar and Nelson. Taking the #3A (the route I always take) will take you on one of the most spectacular rides you could imagine. The #3A takes you along the Gray Creek winding its way in and out like a slippery snake ending at Kootenay Bay. Rated #1 ride in Canada. Along the way are many places to stop and take in the scenic views and artisan shops scattered along the roadside inviting you to take a look. The Glass House located along this highway is a sight that is beautiful and just a little disturbing at the same time. In 1952 David Brown who had retired from the funeral business, traveled western Canada collecting empty embalming fluid bottles from friends in the business. When David had collected 500,000 of the square bottles, he started building his Glass House. The House is shaped in a three-leaf-clover, with round guard towers, arched bridges, wishing well and patios down a spectacular cliff face of the Kootenay Lake. It is something to be seen. Kootenay Bay is as far as you can ride and in order to get to the other side of the Lake you will take a ferry. Kootenay Lake ferry transports vehicles across the bay to the Belfour landing. The Ferry ride takes approximately 40 minutes to travel from one side of the lake to the other. There are 2 Ferries that run every 40 minutes crossing paths in the middle of the lake. The scenery crossing the lake is absolutely amazing. On our travels this is where you get to meet a lot of the people you will be crossing paths with throughout your trip. On the Belfour side of the Kootenay Lake you’ll find all types of little stores to pick up souvenirs. One little place that is loved by many is the Kool Bus. This guy has had his bus here for years selling tie dye items that he makes himself. I don’t know anyone who comes to Belfour that doesn’t at least stop and look at all the unique items on display for all to see. Time to head to Toad Rock Motorcycle Campgrounds located just a hop skip and a jump down BC HWY 31 from Belfour. Toad Rock Motorcycle Campgrounds owned and operated by Mary Laird & Grant Peterson is a place I have visited often. It’s almost like a home away from home for me and many riders from all over the world.

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Toad Rock is situated on 34 forested acres of land with treed campsites scattered throughout the woods. It is adorned with a multitude of cabins, busses, boats and tents converted into sleeping quarters for those of us who don’t like to haul camping gear. When you

ride into Toad Rock Mary greets you with open arms and a warm hug. I don’t know how she does it but she remembers your name, where you’re from and what you ride. At the Centre of Toad Rock, you will find the Pavilion. It’s an open-air bar type building with a bar, pool table and a cornucopia of musical instruments. This is where everyone gathers to have a drink, socialize, and have a great time with the other campers. Every night is jam night, everyone brings out their instruments and joins in the fun. Many rides

are planned for the next day with people you’ve just met, taking you places you might have never gone if it wasn’t for meeting someone new. When I was there the last time I had asked Mary “What made you decide to build a Motorcycle Campground?” to my surprise she answered me by saying. “I had some land, a motorcycle and all the best roads in BC just outside my door, why not build a Campground?”. Mary told me that many of the cabins and busses were picked up over the years as Church camps closed and busses were abandoned. Her first bus was picked up in 2004 when she won the Toy Run Bike. “Better than the last ditch you slept in” she said with a giggle. Mary aims to destroy the stereo typing. What we wear and what we ride should not make a difference. We are all people who love to ride. Mary has the best life as far as she’s concerned. She has a beautiful home with a large enough back yard for all her family to come an enjoy the many rides around the area. Like I said before it’s like coming home. Everything at Toad Rock is based on the honor system, from making sure you pay for your accommodations to having a coffee. It’s not about how many people or how much money she makes, it’s about honor, respect and Old School Values. Make sure if you a looking for a unique experience check out the gang at toad Rock. Mary and Grant would love to see you. Make sure you show Happy The Pig some love. Well that’s it for Momma this Month. Tune in Next Month for More Riding The Kootenays and the Winter Biker Blues Poker Stumble. Till next time thanks for Riding With Momma. Stay Safe The Rider’s Mag - Page 24

Dangerous Donnie from Durham THE COOLEST GUY IN ARIZONA AND THE MONTANA LEGEND Well I figured with a good heading you peeps would read on. Anyhow I have been dormant for a few issues watching the world go by and like the rest of you scooter trash, almost all of our two wheeled motor conveyances are still tucked in bed for duration of our Cdn. winter. I did get a chance to take in some warm December weather, in Montego Bay for the oldest of my kids wedding (Nicole) where unless you want to play cat and mouse with 200 weed seller’s, tourists stay behind the hotel walls and drink free booze with the other pasty looking snowbirds. My last journey began with a 4 AM drive to Pearson Airport where I learned my connecting flight in Montreal was gonna be missed! So, I paid another hundred and got a direct to Vegas...’cept it was a 7 hour freaking wait, then we were delayed another hour. For those of you that have travelled in and out of our Toronto airport you know that going thru security and U.S. customs is always the Godless Gong Show. Some of us with current or previous associations to MC’s may have questions to answer from U.S. Border dudes, but this time I just breezed thru. I landed in Vegas after a 5.5-hour flight, sitting next to two silent Asian senior citizens who nosily munched stuff out of a plastic bag all the way. I guess it’s only in the movies where a beautiful woman ends up next to you. After a long foot trek thru the giant Vegas airport I picked up a rental cage and busted out of Lost Wages immediately. I arrive hours later via GPS to Lake Havasu City and find a fridge full of cold beers. Having developed a parched state and much stressed from travel, I proceed to consume many with my kid brother AKA Dirty Bert and his bride! So let the festivities begin. Anyhow this is THE RIDERS MAG not a travel blog; it’s about bikes and such. Morning, next day, for the duration of the trip we borrow a neighbors Heritage and my brother let me ride his cherry ride, an 08 Street Glide. We head out to meet a RC called the Havasu Hangover Gang in big box store parking lot. I am introduced to 20 of them and immediately forget everyone’s name, except for Rueben who appears to be the shot caller that day. About ½ hour later they saddle up, my brother wisely chooses to ride at the back, due to some wonky brakes on the Softail. So down the road we fail to get thru a traffic light, and they are long gone! We attempted to catch the pack ripping down the road at 140kph and hit another light where Dirty locks up the brakes and does a shimmy shaker for about 30 feet. Discretion being the better part of valor, I tell him its ok, we don’t need to chase down the ride. I had wanted to ride up to Oatman where I visited so many years back anyway. Oatman is an old mining town that somehow has managed to stand the test of time. It is an amazing ride thru mountains 100’s of twisty turns and the famous Arizona dips on the roads (kinda like riding your bike on a kid’s roller coaster track) And scenery that you all need to experience in the Southwestern U.S. We hit Oatman, note lots of bikes, tourists and a Wild West show on the main street where they stage a shoot out between old time bank robbers. Then you notice a wandering herd of burro’s roaming the town (you have to watch for them on the roads as they are all over the place). It is really something to see and there are lots of cool old shacks selling stuff. One in particular, my brother took me to is run by an older hippie looking biker who has a second floor with what I would call the barn finds of the century of unrestored Harleys from the 20’s and 30’s all covered in dust just sitting there...he must have had 10 of them. We head it home to visit the fridge of doom at his place with shelves stocked with frigid cans of Bud Lite, (which for some reason taste way better than our Toronto version of Bud, perhaps because down there it’s 30 cans for 20bucks!) Next day the two us suit up (cool in the mornings) gas up the bikes and jeezuz 10 bucks buys a lot of fuel down there! We head south towards Parker and do a tour just to have a looky loo. As usual in the States the bars are the best. They dot the banks all along the Colorado River, we pick one called Foxes, on a sunny Saturday right at beer-thirty. It’s already packed, live music, lots of bikes out front and hot boats parked at the dock. Things are in full swing as I The Rider’s Mag - Page 25

watch the bar lady pour monster shots into tall glasses! Beer is like 2 for 6 bux and my brother introduces me to a wild looking dude Rick Badgley from the Montana Legends Club he is an old school pavement pounder from Coeur D’Alene Idaho, who, like many northern folk, winters in AZ (cause it IS the place to be! Bar none!). He, like my brother just has the look of people having way too much fun! Later, during week we visit Rick in Havasu then go out back to drool over his collection of vintage HD’s, pans/shovels/sidecars ect. and lots stories of life on the two wheels. When not riding his H-D’s he hit on newer Indian Chief for the long hauls. The Montana Legends have Hawaiian shirts with their patch, he explains it respects the local dominant clubs and keeps the LEO off his tail. One thing about AZ is you won’t see many MC members wearing colours unless it’s a function like a funeral or club run ect, as down there, it’s very restrictive from what I was told. Basically, as I started, out stating my brother is the coolest person in Arizona, for one, he puts up with me and two he makes friends wherever he goes and just loves the life! Some collect stamps he collects people. Plus, I think he has the longest mustache since Yosemite Sam. One disappointment was not visiting a mag advertiser THE ARIZONA OUTBACK INN they were about 6 hours away, weather was not the greatest. I did contact Marsha and they were fully booked so it appears good reader this is the place go (south of Tucson. They are close to some amazing riding and far enough south for the warm weather in the cool months of Jan-March. Check them out for sure Well that about sums up my recent journey I got to see miles of AZ some Cali/NV which is like something out of an old John Wayne movie! There were endless stretches of pavement, route 66 ect. Going back a few months I did make the January super show for my annual 10$ beers 20$ to get in and another 20 beans for gas...out 50 clams before you get a slice of pizza. But duty calls, I must visit THE RIDERS MAG booth and see our fearless leader Critter do his energizer bunny routine talking to 1000’s of people over the weekend. Noted, Donny Petersen was away that day at a fellow member’s funeral and I missed my chance to get an autographed copy of his latest book that everybody is reading and raving about. Donny is doing book signings here and there and will be at The Riders Mag booth at the upcoming M P 1 Spring Motorcycle Show! Watch for it. BIKER 101/THE LIFE OF M 10A -2291 / DON you can hit his website if you want it mailed. I have read a H T 2 5-437 AW 1 few stories that he posted on line from the book “he tells it like Y A Y M TWIN 70 EFFERL A it was and like it is” D R At the show I ran into Felix from AM Sales who in my SATUICTLY V- WAY 48 P opinion has very good prices on late model HD’s and other STR 45 HIGH FRED makes. I got my 2011 Road Glide from them and a decent price HALE 299 for my trade in. And I cannot forget to mention the well known Krazzy (Doug H), who had a booth promoting the Bobcaygeon Bikefest which for us in Southern Ontario is a must go. Well time wrap my rap up, by the time you read this it will be getting warm and the season begins. Be careful out there.


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Friday 13th 2018

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Pins / Patches


D E S T I N AT I O N 1 3 1 st S P R I N G R I D E




The saying goes “A dark cloud can have a silver lining” but I’m sure that Phil Dickson and his crew didn’t see the silver lining when an adjoining body shop went up in flames! The dense, black clouds of acrid smoke billowed out and flames lit up the night sky and could be seen for miles around! While the fire fighters were able to contain the blaze to mostly, just the body shop, nothing could prevent the smoke from penetrating the walls, permeating the entire interior PD Restoration’s unit! Their entire inventory of new and used parts, motorcycles, equipment, tools and supplies were contaminated with soot and everything had to be sonically cleaned to be useful again. An incident like this can be devastating for any business but Phil and his crew battled back and now have things back in order and moving ahead! They took over the adjoining unit knocked down walls and cleaned it up thereby doubling the size of their shop! They now have a 7000 square foot unit containing much larger, bright and spacious show rooms, to better organize and display their huge inventory of used motorcycles, parts and accessories. Shop space, which never seems to be enough in a busy shop, has been doubled as has the storage area. The Rider’s Mag - Page 33

They now have a full professional paint booth and prep area that will allow them to do even more work totally in-house! With two professional painters on board, PD Restorations can better serve their customers and make restorations, repairs and custom builds more efficient and give them better control of projects. They are looking to get into the Spray Chrome process as well! Phil has been a licensed mechanic since 1977 and has established a long-standing reputation of doing first class work and repairs at reasonable prices along the way! While they specialize in Harley-Davidson and British bikes they will work on any street bike and fix it right the first time! They have also become known as “THE PLACE” to go to sort out problems with those older motorcycles models with those “Special little quirks and nuances “that these old “Gems” are well known for! He, along with his two fully licensed and accredited mechanics Keith and Nick do everything from regular maintenance items, tires, batteries, engine rebuilds, transmission work to complete custom builds and fabrication by special request! Phil is also well known, World Wide, for his museum quality restorations and his work is in demand from near and far! PD Restorations is your spot for parts, O/E Harley-Davidson parts he gets from Rocky’s HarleyDavidson right down the street in London, while aftermarket parts and accessories from all major suppliers like; Parts Canada, Paul Yaffe’s, Kimpex, Bad Dad, S&S, Walbridge Motors, British Bike, Preston Cycle, V Twin and Mid USA are just a phone call away, as they are a dealer representing all of them and many more! IF it exists they will find it for you! They have also accumulated an enormous inventory of used parts ranging from newer models to older Evo, Shovel head and vintage Harley-Davidson and British bikes like Triumph, BSA, Norton, Royal Enfield, and so on! They have a great crew that will look after your Motorcycles needs from front office to the back shop. Lisa looks after parts, Linda runs the office and books, Amanda is the in-house Model and moral booster, while Phil, Keith, and Neil are the mechanics who continue to satisfy their long list of loyal, satisfied, repeat, customers who seem more like family and friends. Drop in and see them sometime!


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Get Your Bike Ready for Spring, Call us Today!

Donny Petersen I am the Way I am

I was not always comfortable with me. People picking on me for what reasons I did not understand robbed me of comfort. As I developed my ‘Fuck you’ principle, things got better. When I finally began to understand why others were preoccupied with me, I became totally comfortable in my own skin.

The Curse of Shyness

I was born on an isolated farm that the Canadian government awarded my parents for serving Canada during the second world war. Not much of a farm mind you so it was difficult making a go of it. For the first three years of my life, my only friend was my dog. He was a great dog but did not fulfill the social interaction a boy needs to develop emotionally. Still, I was happy. This combined with later unjustified treatment by the Good People made me an introvert and very bashful. Shyness has been the most difficult part of my life. Shyness is debilitating. When you are Don, people think you arrogant because you do not initiate conversation and seem standoffish. Others will interpret my shyness as a dislike for them. It creates many problems for me. I am still shy. Shyness with the 1%er selfdefence mechanism of not trusting makes social interaction a constant struggle. The third big childhood influence on my outlook was the prejudicial, bullying I was subjected to, as many children are. This is when I learned that many people need others to look down on to boost their own self-worth. It took me a long time to figure out the reasons. “When people undermine your dreams, predict your doom, or criticize you, remember, they’re telling you their story, not yours.” (Maya Angelou, 1928-2014) My parents were upwardly mobile in their new land of opportunity. I have dragged along for the ride. This meant that my parents put me in the best available public school in the working class areas in which I grew up. I was lucky that they could not afford to put into an upper-class school. I learned that some of the best schools were the most discriminatory. Students, teachers, and counsellors had a need to step on people they did not consider equal to their social status. Many years later, I realized this was simple insecurity on their part that pervades many in our society. As a result, I gravitated to areas and people that were not so preoccupied with their place relative to others. These would be lower income areas, with the working poor, tech schools, and the such. I found these people more honest and less biased against me. Sure, they had their faults, as we all do, but when you are busy putting food on the table for your kids, then social status takes a second seat. I gravitated to these people, which meant I hung out in parks and later, pool halls, where others like me were drawn. There were no sports and/or the money to play them. Our groups were not called gangs at the time but would be now. We were not criminally minded but for some reason, all had a macho desire to fight and be good at it. This was probably a result of social inadequacies instilled by others. Before I start boohooing too much, doing the poor me routine, let’s get started.

The Misanthrope and Dogs

Let’s talk about Alexander Pope and dogs. I was forced to read many literary greats in school. If they were so great, how come I didn’t like these books? It was not just me because I know many reading this didn’t like them either. Many pretended they did because they were supposed to, if cultured and educated. The English teacher was explaining Alexander Pope’s personality. Anything was more interesting than his book. She said he was misanthropic! I could tell by her voice inflection that it was important to remember this for the exam. Why use words that no one understands? She explained that Alexander did not like people but liked individuals. Hey now … we are getting somewhere … I am a misanthrope just like Pope. This is the only thing I remember about him or the book. I don’t remember much about my childhood except that I felt disliked, not by other kids but by the adults around me. Adults looked down on me and so did other youth by the time I went to high school. I was not considered good enough for some. I understood none of this. I do now. Weak people need to step on others to feel important. Donny Petersen

Buster Saved my Life

When I was about three, my mother dressed me up in my snowsuit and took Buster and me onto the farm’s front porch. She became preoccupied long enough for me and Buster to make the great escape into the cold winter day. Buster, my Collie was born the same week as me. He was my best friend as I had no others to choose from. Farm life The Rider’s Mag - Page 35

is a lonely existence for a child. However, I was not lonely as I had Buster. We happily ran around and rolled in the snow. Then I spotted the horse trough. I climbed onto it and lay on the frozen surface. Suddenly, I was through the ice and into the water. What would happen first, drowning or hypothermic freezing? This was the first time of five times I have almost drowned. Buster was frantic with unconditional love, loyalty, and protectiveness. He bounded in with me and gripped the scruff of my snowsuit’s neck. Buster dragged me out onto the ground, licking my face. He then dragged me back to the front porch and deposited me at my mother’s feet. This was the first time of hundreds of times I have almost died in my life. My love affair with dogs began the week I was born. I have had a long succession of dogs. Some people raise their dogs to attack. I view this as the owner’s fault. However, it is the dog that suffers needlessly at the hands of police or being put down. As I get older, I find myself liking more people but dogs are different. I like all dogs and love many. Donny Petersen



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Bikers Church

It’s hard to believe that we already into our third month of 2018 (I guess fourth month for when the magazine goes out). Well what a winter this has been. Mother nature has surely released her fury this season. If you are like me I am sure most of you are dreaming of open highways, blue skies, green grass and the smell of exhaust in your hair. Yes green grass won’t that be awesome to see again. I am certainly sick of shovelling this white stuff. Can I get an amen on that? The warm weather certainly can’t come soon enough. Looking ahead at spring everything will start turning green again which makes me think of St. Patrick’s Day which is just a few days from now. (that is from when I wrote this article) And when I think of St. Patrick’s Day I think of this little jingle….pink hearts, yellow moons, orange stars, and green clovers. “They’re Magically Delicious!” Ok I have to admit I like a bowl of Lucky Charms every now and then. Not that I need to take in that much sugar but it’s nice to reflect back on childhood memories and get a serious sugar buzz. So all that to say that my mind wandered to those tasty marshmallows that make Lucky Charms so tasty. In particular the green clovers came to my mind and that got me thinking about a song. The chorus goes like this, There’s no strength in a unicorn No luck in a 4 leaf Clover There’s no life unless it’s born And no death when it’s over. Any Stryper fans out there will recognize this chorus from their “Murder by Pride” album back in 2008. So although I do like a bowl of Lucky Charms now and again I don’t place my faith in them. This world has so many charms to put our faith in other than Jesus Christ. Jesus said, “I am the way the truth and the life, no one comes to the Father except through me.” (John 14:6 E.S.V.) Jesus also said, “Look, I’m standing at the door and knocking. If anyone listens to my voice and opens the door, I’ll come in and we’ll eat together.” (Rev. 3:20 Gods Word Translation) I don’t know where you have placed your faith and trust today but I challenge you to give Jesus a try. He offers an open invitation to all of us. He’s knocking on the door and it’s up to you to let him in. I trust that you will consider it. I opened that door many years ago and he has always been faithful. God bless you guys I’m looking forward to seeing you on the highways. Happy Easter to all of you! And before I go let me remind you that you are all invited to our annual Bike Blessing and BBQ this year on May 20th at Northview Community Church 1000 Fairbairn St. Peterborough, Ontario. Service begins at 1030 so please show up early. The BBQ is free to all who come. We are hoping to follow up the service with a ride around the Kawarthas Pastor John Kawartha Bikers Church. Check us out on facebook!

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Well hello fellow motorcycle enthusiasts. It been awhile since my last article and although time has sped on by, the motorcycle world seems to have been at a standstill and aside from the occasional bike show there has been nothing going on in the Motorcycle World during these few past brutal months of winter. Alas, spring is around the corner with another riding season on its way. I’m really hoping that my ambition to write comes back soon as I’ve been suffering from the lack of motivation these past few months. Not sure if it’s all the extra work that has been dumped on my plate in the past year with this new personal venture that I’ve taken on or just the fact that more and more people are just not appreciative enough of what is done for them that just turns me off. There is a lot I want to say to continue on the subject of Brotherhood that I was writing about late last year but this time I’ll focus more on the “Respect” part of the lifestyle. This is something that the younger generation still has a long way to go and a lot to learn in order to comprehend its true meaning. Respect is not given, it is “earned”. If you show respect, then you will receive respect. Like brotherhood, there are various levels of respect. Going from a simple hello when you meet someone, to taking a bullet for another. You really must know the person in order to know at what level the respect is at. Unfortunately, more often than not, the levels are never equal! Some individuals take that for granted and are expecting more than they actually deserve! Enough of that for now as it will be part of my article the next time around. I think it’s a subject matter that is way overlooked and that it must be brought to light in a more in-depth discussion. As I was saying, last January I had the pleasure of attending the North American Motorcycle Supershow held at the airport in Toronto. Once inside my first stop as always was our Rider’s Mag Booth where I found Critter and Chantel hard at work setting things up as the show was about to open to the public. Always a pleasure to see my great friend Critter to whom all this is possible. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to be part of this great The Rider’s Mag - Page 38

publication. Much appreciated. Then although I had emailed her several times, I never

had the chance to meet in person Chantel, the new office staff. What a great job she’s doing at picking up the pieces and holding it all together. I can see that this magazine is like a freight train only going forward and no matter the bumps in the road, just keeps moving on. Next was a stop at the Motorcycle Enhancement booth to find my buddy John Cosentini and his lovely wife. What a great display of beautiful creations including the award-winning Steampunk bike that has everyone that looks at it mesmerized by its originality. If you haven’t seen this unit, make your way on to Speers road in Oakville and go check that out. You’ll be pleasantly pleased. I also found out that the Motorcycle Enhancement shop is the major sponsor of Island Brothers Racing which is from up here on Manitoulin Island! Big Boys, with Big Toys! I also had a chance to speak with Alfy who showed me the V-rod as well as the sportster hugger that they had on their display. Nice to meet so many interesting people and chat them up about a sport that is near and dear to me. Seems that everywhere I go and everything I do, I am lucky to meet these people. I could have stayed and talked with John, Susan as well as Alfy for hours but due to our limited time at the show this time, we had to go. It was a pleasure and I’m looking forward to seeing you guys again

in the near future. As I recently acquired a new vest from my new venture last year, I felt it was only appropriate that my better half Frost and her curvaceous figure would also sport a new vest of matching color. That is when we visited Teresa from Terez Leathers at her booth. A very nice lady to speak with and great sewing skills are displayed in the multiple pieces of fine leatherwork hanging in her booth that displays her level of craftsmanship. She took the time to measure and double check to make certain that she had all the proper numbers so that the creation she would make for Frost would fit perfectly the first time around. It was unfortunate that she couldn’t get it delivered to us as promised but after making another trip to Toronto, I swung by her store and managed to pick it up after a lengthy wait. As they say good things come to those who wait and fortunately the measurements were correct and we didn’t have to go back for adjustments. It does get quite expensive when you have to travel from Northern Ontario to Toronto when in reality it could have just been shipped. A story for another day. We are well on our way to another riding season and one that promises to be great as many of the ride organizers have already contacted me to attend their events. Such are as follows; Biker’s Battling Cancer which has relocated in Huntsville and is now colour friendly and should see an increase of people in the near future. Another great event is the Fallen Riders of Algoma, memorial ceremony and ride May 26, 2018 at Strathclair Park TransCanada Highway, Sault Ste. Marie, Ontario. Our good friend Mark Hutchinson from Elliot Lake has also has a rally on board for this year, in the month of June! Ride Manitoulin’s weekend is on July 13th! I will be touching on details on all these events in the next edition of the Mag to keep you posted. Now I leave you this month with some very simple words but very strong words that will make or break you in this lifestyle where old school rules and values apply! “Respect” is earned, not given. Give respect to get Respect. Guy L. Aka: The Northern Guy


Burnt underwear It’s early May and a nice sunny day for a ride north from Sudbury. Our brother, friend, buddy and clown is itching to go, we like to call him the Hardwood Hillbilly. So off we go on another adventure. We take our time with many stops during the day. Fast forward to 8:00 pm. We are now 4 hours north of Sudbury and Its getting dark and cold. So we decide we should saddle up and head back home. I know we all rode in the cold at some time and I’m not complaining, but I must mention that it is very cold to be riding without underwear. After about 30 minutes of riding we stop at an intersection to highway 11. You can see the frost billowing out of Farmers mouth as he exhales. And there we are all shivering like dogs shitting razor blades. Hey I think this would be a good time to stop at the Cobalt truck stop to warm up with a cup of coffee. Oh yes this is nice, a warm restaurant and hot coffee going down the pipe. So, now the Hardwood Hillbilly has to have a crap. He saunters over to the men’s room and we continue to drink coffee. Now it’s been about 20 minutes and the Hillbilly is not back yet. A truck driver walks in and heads to the men’s room. He opens the door looks and retreats back to the eating area.” Hey Farmer I wonder what is going on with the Hardwood Hillbilly? He’s been in there along time brother”. “All’s good he’s coming now”. “Holy shit Hardwood that was one long time for a crap” “hopefully everything came out OK “. Well now he has a story to tell us. “I walk into the cubical unbuckle my hardware and drop my jeans and gitch down to my ankles and have a seat”. “I pull out a smoke, light it and all is good so far “. ”As I’m enjoying my third smoke, I notice quite a bit of smoke billowing up out of my gitch”. “Holly crap my gitch are on fire brothers”. ”I had to think fast, so I reached down and pulled my 10 inch pig sticker out of the sheath and cut my gitch off at the ankles “. “ Then I’m standing there with burning gitch in my left hand and my big knife in the other hand “. “ So I dip the gitch in the toilet to extinguish the problem “. “ So now what to do with the wet gitch “ ? “ I’m afraid to drop them in the toilet and plug it “. “ I shoved the cubical door open and shuffle across the floor to the garbage can “. “ My hardware and jeans are still down around my ankles and my dicks all out for show as I go”. “ I have the wet dripping gitch in one hand and the knife in the other and some guy walks in and immediately leaves, for some strange reason “. “so that is why it took so long to have a crap, now let’s have a coffee “. After one more coffee, out we go to head home. It is no warmer then when we arrived and the Hardwood Hillbilly is going to freeze his balls off without his underwear. Farmer is checking his saddle bag to find some type of clothing to help out the Hillbilly. The bottom of the bag has a 6x12 inch felt liner pad. So we put that on him like a diaper over his jeans and secure it with many raps of electrical tape. Off we go again into the cold northern night, making many stops along the way to run up and down the highway to warm up. We ride through the Town of Field to short cut our ride to Sturgeon Falls for a warm up and more coffee. Look one of those new Tim’s coffee shops, let’s go there brothers. “ Hey,why are all these locals staring at us “ . Oh wait must be the blue felt diaper the Hardwood Hillbilly has on over his jeans. Well in the end its day light as we ride into Sudbury and the suns coming up to greet the new day of adventures. This is another true story. Its times like this that keeps us bikers rolling. The bad times can be fun. The Rider’s Mag - Page 39

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Stitch (Swap Meet Sue) Happy spring! Since the riding seasons almost upon us we’re happy to say that the Swap meet season is in full swing! The first one to tell you about was Big Al’s annual Swap meet held in Dundas at the Dundas Community Center put on by the buy the Bacchus Hamilton Chapter, it didn’t seem as big this year as it has in the past but it was well done by The Bacchus. I give them a lot of respect because they give you a hand in and out of your vehicle to help you get set up! Some swap meets do that too but not everyone. I was a nice day for myself, Gregg Walker and everyone who attended Alvaston motorcycle Swap meet! Yes, it’s quite the drive up to Alvaston but the people up there are so worth it! It is wonderful to see Katherine. I was sad to learn thru Kevin Slater that the Sarnia Lambton Bikers Rights Organization has folded. Katherine is going to keep the Swap meet in memory of Ken MacDonald who left us April 23rd 2015 (sadly missed) and I think that’s fantastic! Ken would be so proud to see how his boys Connor and Conrad are turning out At the Swap meet I got to run into Cindy Brenner who runs the Tilbury Swap meet also Sean McCooey who runs the Fort Erie Swap meet Sunday May 9th It will be the 35th anniversary of the event and they will have a Metric hall once again! I ran into a whole bunch of my friends from Hogs for Hospice in Leamington. I have been going to the Hogs for Hospice since the start and I enjoy it so much and it is so well run! The Hogs for Hospice is a well-attended annual event in its 3rd year, which has raised $270k for Hospice (70,000 in its first year and 200,000 in it’s second) and attracts local celebrities and other high-profile members of the community, A Motorcycle Rally will take place on the Civic Holiday weekend 2018: August 3rd, 4th & 5th. It will include vendors from across Southern Ontario, incredible concerts, live entertainment this year will be Randy Houser as well as Cheap Trick, Bob’s Bike Games, Motocross stunt show, Freestyle Motocross Show, Beer Garden, Custom Bike Show, Vendors, Iron by the Beach’ Custom, Antique and Vintage Motorcycle Show and their signature event ‘Tour the Tip”, which is an organized registered ride to the most southern tip of Canada, showcasing the Essex County Area, Point Pelee National Park, Shoreline, Wineries, Church service on Sunday morning My first year there, I could see how this would turn in to a fantastic event! I was amazed how fast they cleaned up that park from the night that Bret Michaels from Poison played and had it ready for the Church services on the beach! Most do not know that Bret Michaels donated his pay for the night, back to the “Hogs for Hospice! I did see a lot of family’s coming down to eat in the park and see the different vendors and enjoying the entertainment. I am proud to be part of this community Guardians of the Children Rock “N” Roll on Sunday March 11th at the Rockpile Congratulations to the GOC Toronto for running a fantastic first annual fundraiser at The Rockpile! Four different bands and they had very good turnout! Congratulations as well for meeting your goal on your first year! It was a fantastic night out and Gregg Walker and I are proud to have been there and will be looking forward to your empowering the children ride on Saturday June 2nd! For more information go to the GOC Toronto website or look it up on the Canadian biker community! I know you are all waiting till spring with the itch to get out and ride I have seen lots of bikes out already! Take it easy out there! Car and truck drivers are not looking for you yet! A Motorcycle is safe at your home, but that is not what it was built for Love always STITCH The Rider’s Mag - Page 41

Spring Fling!

Avoid the rush! Get Your Motors Running Right for This Riding Season.

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Rants And Ramblings

From The East Coast

Well I think this just might be my shortest column since starting with the Mag!!! I’ve had dribblings of reports from my brothers in the west, that they have had their bikes out for short toots already, but it seems like a long way off for us in central N.B. SNOW, SNOW, SNOW,SNOW!!! During our Mag deliveries up in the Bathurst area, I caught this shot that will tell you what we are going through here! Please keep in mind that this shot of the Atlantic Host (under the snow bank) was the day before our third N’or easter! Making it home from the north, I felt something going ‘amiss’. I went for a lay down, only to awake, feeling like death warmed over, with things coming out of my body that I know I didn’t put in there, to another mother of a snowstorm. I was debating hospital time, but the four foot drifts made that impossible, even by ambulance, and an hour and a half drive in good weather! This is when the Boss took the situation into her own hands! This next shot is the passage from the house to the woodshed, a necessity as we heat with wood! (keep in mind, it’s 8’ to the top of the railing, and the Boss ways in at about 5’3”. She did a fantastic job of keeping me warm, and out of the hospital!


SUNDAY, APRIL 15th, 2018

410 St. Vincent Street, Barrie 9 A.M. TO 3 P.M. SNOW, SNOW, SNOW!!! I did have a chance to talk to Machine (Bacchus M.C.) and he informed me of their annual Swap Meet, on April 7th. 9a.m ‘til 3p.m at the Kinsmen Club, 141 School St. Fredericton. For more info call Machine @ 506-2510611. Hopefully this will help fix these winter blues!!! SNOW, SNOW, SNOW! That’s all I have for this month, keep smiling (it makes people wonder what you’re up to) P.S. when e-mailing me don’t forget the _ (theridersmag_atlantic@yahoo. ca) Until next time, Atlantic Jeff signing off…be well.

Sponsored by Hochberg Trial Lawyers. Accepting Criminal and Civil Cases.

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3 Wheelin with Wheelz Well here we are in the April issue of THE RIDERS MAG and it is spring...well according to the calendar anyways, and soon we will be on our bikes and the 2018 riding season will be in full effect; here are my travels for this issue.

Midwest Gathering/Disciple weekend This is a yearly event that Disciple Christian Motorcycle Club (the club I am pursuing membership with) holds in Ohio but due to unforeseen circumstances it was moved this year to Illinois and we were unable to change our accommodations in Ohio. We headed down to Ohio for the weekend, getting started on Friday February 16 at 6:00 a.m. One of my bros, PINS from the Redemption crew picked me up at my place and we headed to Sarnia to meet up with another one of the bros, Fall Guy and his ol’ Lady Squeeks. We arrived early as the traffic wasn’t too bad and soon after Fall Guy and Squeeks showed up and we headed out just after 8:30 for the border in Sarnia. When we got to the border there was a long line of cars waiting to get across but eventually we made it through at 9:45 a.m. With no issues. After crossing the border, we stopped in Port Huron to meet up with Disciple, Homer and his family before heading out on the road. We stopped at IHOP in Michigan

for breakfast. We then headed back out on the road and after missing our cut-off a few times we got back on track and made our way to our hotel in DAYTON at 6:30 p.m. and shortly the rest of the crew Disciple, Jazz and family along with Steveo and his ol’ lady Red showed up as well. The next morning, we took in the Air Force Museum which

is huge and usually it takes a few days to get through it all, we, however did the condensed tour and were able to get The Rider’s Mag - Page 44

through it within a few hours as we were on a fairly tight schedule! This place was enormous and they had aircraft of every shape and size and varied from space craft to Presidential

aircraft and everything in between on display! They even had a few motorcycles and a Camaro with 10 NOS tanks

in it. Sunday morning and it was time for us to start heading back to Ontario so we said our goodbyes as we were all going to take different routes home. We couldn’t leave the states without visiting a HARLEY DEALER so we stopped at PIQUA HARLEY DAVIDSON IN PIQUA OHIO and we picked up some p o k e r chips and browsed a r o u n d b e f o r e heading back out to finish our journey home. We were trying to make it back to Port Huron ‘cause there was a store, Rocky ’s

outdoor store, that we wanted to get to before it was closed for the day. We may or may not have been speeding, but according to the State trooper who pulled us over we were! Just FYI, if you going through Ohio and you have an ONTARIO license plate, they apparently, love to pull over ONTARIO plates!! So, watch your speed, down there! After finishing up with the state trooper we made it to ROCKEY’S OUTDOOR STORE in plenty of time before it closed then we got over the border and headed for home. BIG AL’S ANNUAL SWAP MEET I try and attend this swap meet every year as it isn’t too far from my house and it is a good excuse to get out of the house for a few hours in the middle of winter! This was also a last-minute decision for me to attend this year so my friend and contributing writer for the MAG Sue Kojic picked me up at 6:15 a.m. We arrived to the swap meet at 7:00 a.m. And started to get the booth set up for the day. The swap meet opened at 10:00 a.m. (or shortly before) and the crowds started coming in! There were lots of people walking around talking with each other and looking at all the parts etc. that were for sale. I talked with this one and that one as they walked past our booth before heading over to get something to eat. Whitey and some of the boys were cooking hot dogs for the hungry crowd and I had to have one! They are delicious. The day went by quickly and the crowds started to fade around 2:00 so we started to pack up, said our goodbye’s and headed out. Thanks to BACCHUS M.C. HAMILTON CHARTER for putting on another good show. Well that is all I have for this issue! I’m sure riding season will be in gear by the time the next issue of the mag comes out so see you out on the road this season.

8th Annual Motorcycle Saturday, June 16th, 2018

Desiree’s Angels Victims For A New Start is a Non Profit Organization that supports Victims of Crime. Desiree’s Angels is named after Desiree Gallagher whom was a Victim of Crime. Desiree was a young, vibrant 21-year-old girl who was brutally beaten and fell seven stories from a balcony in May 2013. Desiree survived the fall but was left blind, wheelchair bound and suffered from short term memory loss. Unfortunately, Desiree passed away from her initial injuries in May 2015. Desiree’s Angels has raised over $40,000 since Desiree’s tragedy and hosts various fundraising events throughout the year raising funds for Victims of Crime. The biggest event is Desiree’s Ride which is held in three cities through-out the summer located in Brantford, Chatham & Niagara Falls. The 4th Annual Desiree’s Ride commenced in Brantford on August 19th, 2017, which was the home of Desiree and her family. Early 2017, Desiree’s Angels spread their wings to two other cities located in Southern Ontario and helped host the 1st Annual Desiree’s Ride in Chatham-Kent on June 24, 2017 and Niagara Falls on September 9, 2017. All three rides proved to be a huge success in raising funds and creating awareness for Victims of Crime. In 2018 Desiree’s Angels is very excited to announce they will be celebrating their 5th Annual Desiree’s Ride in Brantford on August 18, 2018, their 2nd annual Desiree’s Ride in Chatham-Kent on June 9th, 2018 & 2nd annual Desiree’s Ride in Niagara Falls on Sept 8th, 2018. We will continue to grow and make our voices heard in support of Victims of Crime. Proceeds raised from all three rides go the hosting cities local chapter of Victims Services and Women Shelters in their area. We will continue to ride in Desiree’s memory, along with keeping her name a legacy alive by helping others in need and bring awareness to victims of crime and their families.

Rain Date: June 30th, 2018 The Rider’s Mag - Page 45

Jessie Lee’s Open -Road Experience

Hello and happy Spring boys and girls! Life is beginning to come back to the world and riding season will soon be in full swing! I’m not sure where your 2 wheeled travels are taking you this year but I have a suggestion if you roll south of the border into the U.S.A. a few hundred miles. Home to The World’s’ Largest Motorcycle Rally and a natural wonderland, The Black Hills are a must-see destination! Most people on motorcycles have heard of Sturgis South Dakota and every August several hundred thousand of those people gather to celebrate their love of 2 wheels in the wind! There are bikes and people of all shapes, sizes, and colours roaming the streets enjoying the entertainment. With loud pipes, custom paint jobs, airbrushed boobs, live music, tattoo parlours, bars, and street food all littering the streets alongside hundreds of vendors selling anything motorcycle related there is something for anyone and everyone to indulge in. Any make model and brand of bike are bound to be found here. All parts, accessories, and apparel a rider could ever want or need can be found under a tent or inside a store. The local shops and businesses including the bank and hardware store move their inventory out for the Rally and let vendors take over the town. There are no 4 wheeled vehicles allowed down Main St. for the duration of the Rally and 4 rows of bikes fill the 6 blocks of downtown. All the m a j o r motorcycle

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The Rider’s Mag - Page 46

manufacturers have large sections of the blocks of Lazelle St. and set up demo rides and displays along with some stunt show and live music daily. Oil changes and bike washes are readily available throughout town. Gel seats, light kits, stereo systems, and anything else you might want to upgrade your machine with can be done on the spot all week long. The Buffalo Chip campground and the infamous Full Throttle Saloon are known for having the bigname bands play during rally week. The Full Throttle always has some kind of entertainment whether it be a band, a burnout pit, flame throwing dancing girls, men hanging from meat hooks on chains, mud wrestling, the Wall of Death, you name it you’re bound to find it out there. The town of Aladdin, which is in

Wyoming on the non-interstate route to Devils Tower, has a general store which is also a post office, bar, antique shop, grocery store, and gas station. The entire town has a population of 15 and at one point it was for sale for $1 million, whether or not it’s been sold I am not sure but it’s definitely a cultural experience and one worth the ride over to see. The Dungeon is a basement bar dark and dank and filled with graffiti, dollar bills, bras, and panties. If you look close enough you may find my autograph or otherwise hang about down there. One Eyed Jacks, The Easy Rider Saloon, and The Knuckle Saloon all offer multi-levels of bars entertainment and good views of downtown. The food is decent at all three as well and of course, all offer live music. If you venture towards Deadwood the No. 10 Saloon is good for a history lesson or some gambling or just a damn fine cocktail! Truth is there are so many bars in the Black Hills during the rally it would take me Half a Mag to list and describe them all, so you’ll just have to get your ass down here and check them out for yourself! Let’s talk sites and scenery for the few of you who may not be interested in booze and boobs. The Black Hills are something of a wonder of the world as far as Geology and landscapes go. We could start with the Badlands a spectacularly colourful display of sandstone sculptures carved out by thousands of years of rain and wind. It tends to be 15 to 20° hotter there than anywhere else in the hills and they only get 1 inch of rain per year but it’s a magnificent sight. If you happen to find it and you take Highway 44 west from

there, be on the lookout for a windmill with an old wooden sign that says “Scenic”. Do yourself a favour and stop by the old ghost town. Over the years I have found a gas station there that was open but then closed the next trip, a bar that was open for a few years and then shut down suddenly, and there are a few old-time jails you can lock yourself up in, if nothing else for picture purposes, unless you feel like leaving one of you’re traveling partners there in that case bring a some handcuffs. I didn’t mean that as kinky as it may have sounded. The Mount Rushmore monument is standing tall and proud in the middle of the hills, you can view it from the road in a few different places and if you happen to catch a glimpse in your rearview going down Iron Mountain Road one of the tunnels actually frames the presidents faces or you can play tourist pay to park and take the tour and walk right up to it. Keystone, the town just below the sculpture, has a boardwalk of shops and bars and restaurants. On occasion, I’ve seen Wild Bill walking the balcony ready with his bullwhip to give out a proper old west welcome. Iron Mountain Road and Needles Highway are a must ride while you’re in the hills! The roads have curves, tunnels, and views for days! Take your camera and plan an afternoon there’s also places to hike along the way. If you’re up for a hell of an adventure try hiking Harney Peak, it’s the highest point between the Rockies and Europe, 7-mile round trip hike up to an old Army ranger station. You can literally be in the clouds up there some days. The hike starts at Sylvan Lake and during the rally, the park puts on a brat and burger lunch every day at the park office parking lot. If you’re already as far south of Sturgis as Sylvan Lake you might as well take the The Rider’s Mag - Page 47

Custer wildlife loop, ever ridden your motorcycle through a herd of buffalo?! It gets a little nerve-racking but very awesome! There are also Giselle, Deer, Wild Donkeys, Prairie Dogs, and I’m sure a variety of other things you can see along the loop but being that they are wild animals no sightings are guaranteed. Another of the top Sturgis stops is Spearfish Canyon. A beautiful drive down through the valley filled with rock walls, rivers, and waterfalls. There are hiking trails and pullout places to enjoy the waterfalls and trails. Maybe I should say pull over places?! Otherwise, you may think I was saying outdoor fornication is encouraged, well as far as that goes, it’s only illegal if you get caught right?! On that note, I believe I’ll bid farewell for now! Have an excellent April and lets rendezvous again sometime in May!



JUNE 03 2018




The Rider’s Mag - Page 48

Rick Gravel

Hello all, and happy spring. Yes, spring is in the air, and all of us who have waited patiently for the snow to end and winter to leave are just about ready to start riding again. Now this may seem like you’ve heard it time and time again, but, I’m going to say it again anyway. We must take care of ourselves just a well as we take care of our machines, we change fluids, tires, make sure we have enough fuel for our trips, be they, day trips, or taking off for a longer haul. So now the bike is ready, and we are anxious to get out and get some wind therapy. Now here’s the catch, other people we share the roads with, are probably not as eager to have bikes on the road again, it means they have to pay closer attention to the road, and not their pages and calls that are so important, more important than the lives of people taken from distracted drivers. So, I call on all of you, please, keep your head on a swivel, clear your mind of all the bullshit, ride, and watch out for the other guy. We know that is the best therapy we can have, but, we also have to take that extra precaution watching for the “other guy”, worst case scenario for a car or truck, maybe a couple of dents scrapes and some paint chipped, for us on the other hand, death, dismemberment, paralysis, and then there’s the toll it takes on our loved ones if we are in that situation, having to take care of us or grieve at our passing. Personally, there have been too many people that I know personally that have been taken way too early, and I would really like to see a bike season without losing anyone. This also takes into account watching some of your friends “hot dogging” it along major roads, city streets and acting the fool, please take them aside, and have a talk with them, explain that everything they do reflects on the rest of us, and takes away any concern from others on the road. I hope some of this sinks in, and we have a fantastic riding season. Hope to see many of you at events this season anywhere in southern Ontario and beyond. Thanks Lockup

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So a couple of weeks ago we had an early Spring with most of the snow and ice gone and we were experiencing record breaking temperatures and people were saying about how beautiful dead grass looked and there was a scramble to start getting motorcycles ready for the riding season. I stopped by B.A. Machine Performance Cycles and Peri, Tim and the Crew were busy as hell with trailers rolling in to drop off motorcycles from customers who got caught up in the whole Spring fever thing. Now as I was writing my column we have had two weeks of heavy snowfalls and freezing rain which is the ultimate bummer but talking to Peri yesterday and none of the recent bad weather has stopped people from the determination to get their bikes ready and roadworthy for whenever “real” Spring finally arrives. As I mentioned in last month’s column our eastern Ontario motorcycle community has gone through changes of some of the rides and events including the cancellation of two very popular annual events, the annual Bikers Church Swap Meet has called it quits for at least this year and when I say that this event had become for many of us the signal that riding season has officially begun I am serious. Riders came not only to see what treasures and parts other riders were selling off from Winter builds but the Bikers Church meet was also the official social event of the Spring. While it will be greatly missed you can be sure that the good folks at CCBC will still be very active in our motorcycle community including putting on their trademark motorcycle rodeo at the Awareness Ride for Brain Injury in June. While I am repeating myself, I think I speak for all the motorcycle community in the National Capital Region when I say we would all like to say a big thank you to Hillbilly & Nelia, Reverend Rob and all the CCBC members for all they do for us and we look forward to supporting whatever they decide to do in the future. The other annual event that has been cancelled this year is the Merrickville Motorcycle Show which usually takes place the last Sunday in June and we were saddened to hear that Paul aka Bigfoot had cancel it but most people have no idea the amount of effort and manpower events take to happen and over time it can have a toll on personal lives both in energy and finances. We wish Paul the very best on whatever he decides to do in the future and I would also like to add that there are some negotiations going on at this time regarding the possibility of a “new” Merrickville Motorcycle Show happening but on a different date most likely later in the Summer and rest assured that I will let you all know as soon as anything further happens. For those of you who are not familiar with the town of Merrickville it is about midway between Kemptville and Smiths Falls on Hwy 43 and it is a very popular place for bikers to ride to and enjoy the cafes and shops and spend some time in the park by one of the most visited Rideau Locks and on most weekend days you will see motorcycles parked on the street some with New York & Quebec licence plates. On the upside of things as far a new events taking place in our part of the province a very good friend and a member of the Simple Men MC from Snake River, Eddie Hoszko has decided to start the 1st Annual Ottawa Valley Swap Meet and it will be held in the town of Renfrew on May 12th and when you consider the number of motorcycle riders that are up the Ottawa Valley you realize that an event like this is long overdue and needed. The event is going to be a blast and I would like all of my readers up the Valley and for that matter the Ottawa area to please come up and participate in this event and for that matter please drop by and say hello to me at The Riders Mag table and also stop by The Celtic Brotherhood’s table too. I know that Eddie’s brothers in the SMMC will be there to help him and to greet the public and if you are looking for info on this event you will see an advertisement for it by this column as are all the events and businesses that advertise in the Mag from eastern Ontario and as I mention at the end of my column each month please support those who support our Mag. Another new event coming up in May will be the Bondslave MC ‘s 1st Annual Freedom Ride which takes place on The Rider’s Mag - Page 50

the 19th and before you head off on the ride be sure you enjoy one of the Free Breakfasts donated and served by members of The Celtic Brotherhood who will be promoting brain injury awareness and brotherhood and on your return from the ride there is a free lunch as well provided by the Bondslaves. Some of the other events that have made changes either to their venues or date are The Children’s Treatment Center Charity Ride held in Cornwall and hosted by good friends Perry and Geneane Montgomery and the Dedicated Few RC where they have moved the venue to the front of St. Lawrence College to one of the large parking areas so that it makes it easier for the riders to park and to socialize and another change is that they noticed that riders were

coming all the way from up the Ottawa Valley and the Ottawa area and so they have shortened the actual ride so that more of them will return to the college and enjoy the food and take some time to socialize with each other. I would also like to add that as I am writing this Perry is getting ready to have surgery and would like all of you to join me in wishing that he heals well..and heals fast. The 2804 Dice Run held in the town of Casselman, which is just about 40 minutes from Ottawa will be making

some tweaks to the layout of their event to accommodate the growing number of riders from all over eastern Ontario to participate. I mention it often because this event was the brainchild of a good friend, Denis Renaud who wanted to see the young people who joined the army cadets with the consideration of perhaps one day becoming part of Canada’s Armed Forces. Denis was a big supporter of the Riders Mag and always made sure I not only had a table to hand out the Mag but also he would see to it that a copy of the Mag was in the very generous swag bags that they hand out. For my regular readers you will remember that Denis was taken all too soon from us a couple of years ago by a heart attack but last year a new tradition at the event

was started when The Celtic Brotherhood provided the 1st Annual Denis Renaud Memorial Breakfast and look forward to seeing everybody this year. Please be sure to drop by The Riders Mag Booth and say hello to me and the “Paperboyz” and pick up a copy of the Mag if you haven’t already and you can find an advertisement for this event by my column. The Awareness Ride for Brain Injury has made a couple of changes to their event this year including the date which is now June 16th and while last year the ride started at B.A. Machine Performance Cycles and ended at the Greely Legion, this year it will start and end at the Greely Legion

Get Your Bike In Shape For This Riding Season.

The Rider’s Mag - Page 51

and one more change is that for those that wish to go on a ride it will be DIY where you will be given a map of a course you could follow and places along the way where you could stop for gas or washrooms. The major change is that this has become more of an event where members of the motorcycle community can pass on going for a ride and just come and have a day full of events such as the Capital City Bikers Church Rodeo, all sorts of games and contests including a tattoo contest and a hot pepper eating contest which I brought to Canada nearly 30 yrs ago. There will be vendors and Information booths by clubs and organizations and even perhaps some safety demonstrations and of course free breakfast and lunch for all participants in this event. I will mention this again but please no matter where you live in Ontario.. Support Your Local Brain Injury Association. Much Thanks Another event that is making changes is the 2nd Annual Tay River Rally on July 28th, hosted by the Eyes of Odin MC, a club whose members are mostly active in Canada’s Military and it is a rally and rodeo in support of those who are dealing with PTSD and takes place at a facility that is operated to help military and 1st responders who need counselling. The Celtic Brotherhood help out with this event because a number of our members deal with the issue of PTSD and so we ask all of the motorcycle community in our area that if you support our troops and even more so our veterans, please come and participate in this event. There will be an advertisement for this rally in one of the upcoming issues, again near my column. The Ride for Autism has changed its date to July 14th this year with TCB and B.A.C.A. (bikers against child abuse) are having their ride and event on July 21st with the ride starting in Embrum where it traditionally does but ending at the Greely Legion and like last year the TCB will be providing their Free Breakfast because many of the children that BACA helps protect have been victims of abuse and are brain injury survivors themselves. Ads for both events will appear in the next couple of months but I figured the sooner you know the dates the sooner you can put it on your events calendar. Well that is about it for this issue but look forward to next month where there will be much more information not only on the many rides and events in E.Ontario but also on other things happening in our community. One other thing that I want to ask all of the readers and supporters of The Riders Mag, there are over half a million Brain Injury Survivors in the province of Ontario alone and many of them are bikers but even if they weren’t, they are our family members, our friends, our neighbors and people we work with and they need your support for the “Invisible” Injury so please contact your local Brain Injury Association and help out whether by donating or in some other way and if you are not sure who to contact then please email me at the address below and I will find out for you, thanks! If you would like more information about it or any of the other events I mention you can go on Facebook and go to “Motorcyco Beau’s Biker Events & Rides In Eastern Ontario” and you can also check out my Facebook group “Motorcyco Beau’s Biker Friendly Businesses in Eastern Ontario” as well. As Always I urge you to support the events and rides that are created by bikers and clubs in your area because unlike slick organizations that run events the local riders and clubs will be the same people that come to support your event. Also please remember to spend your money with businesses such as those that advertise in our Mag or who have proven they are truly Biker-Friendly and have shown their support for our lifestyle and in turn deserve our support and business back. If you have any issue that you think might be of interest to your fellow riders please reach out to me and let me know either by email or on Facebook. If you have an event or ride or you are a business that deals with either motorcycles or the people who ride them you might like to advertize or even perhaps become a distributor of “The Riders Mag” and if so please contact me by email or by phone. As always I want you to please remember that we make our Motorcycle Communities stronger by making them better! email: theridersmag.beau@gmail.com Twitter Riders Mag East @ motorcyco_beau You can also read us online : www.theridersmag. com/online ...... Motorcyco Beau The Rider’s Mag - Page 52


The Rider’s Mag - Page 53

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The Rider’s Mag - Page 54

Joke Page Last joke from March------- Mary Clancy goes up to Father O’Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she’s in tears. He says, ‘So what’s bothering you, Mary my dear?’ She says, ‘Oh, Father, I’ve got terrible news. My husband passed away las night.’ The priest says, ‘Oh, Mary, that’s terrible. Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?’ She says, ‘That he did, Father.’ The priest says, ‘What did he ask, Mary?’ She says, ‘He said, Please Mary, put down that damn gun....’ Eric is sitting at the bar staring morosely into his beer. Tom walks in and sits down. After trying to start a conversation several times and getting only distracted grunts he asks Eric what the problem is. “Well,” said Eric, “I ran afoul of one of those trick questions women ask. Now I’m in deep trouble at home.” “What kind of question?” asked Tom. “My wife asked me if I would still love her if when she was old, fat and ugly.” “That’s easy,” said Tom. “You just say ‘Of course I will’”. “Yeah,” said Eric, “That’s what I did, except I said, ‘Of course I DO....’” I got invited to a party and was told to dress to kill. Apparently, a turban, beard, and a backpack wasn’t what they had in mind. After a night of drink, drugs and wild sex, John woke up to find himself next to a really ugly woman. That’s when he realized he had made it home safely. Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Para-Olympics after they tested positive for WD40. A teenage boy asks his granny: “Have you seen my pills? They were labeled LSD?” Granny replies: “The hell with the pills, did you see the dragons in the kitchen?” Wife gets naked and asks hubby: “What turns you on more, my pretty face or my sexy body?” Hubby looks her up and down and replies: “Your sense of humor!” Hospital visiting hours are 5:00 to 8:00.)




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A buddy’s wife is back on the warpath again. She was up for making a sex movie last night, and all he did was suggest they should hold auditions for her part. (His viewing will be Saturday from 7:00 till 9:00.) I accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next crap could spell disaster. I woke up this morning at 9:30 and could sense something was wrong. I got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not breathing! I panicked. I didn’t know what to do. Then I remembered McDonalds serves breakfast all day. My missus packed my bags, and as I walked out the front door. She screamed: “I wish you a slow and painful death, you bastard!” I replied: “Oh, so now you want me to stay???” Bought the wife a hamster skin coat last week. When we went to the fair last night it took me 3 hours to get her off the Ferris wheel. The other night, my wife asked me how many women I’d slept with. I told her: “Only you. All the others kept me awake all night!” (The doctor says I should be able to see again in about ten days.... to be continued

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