The Rider's Mag Jan. 2015 V16-n09

The Magazine for Riders

THE RIDER’S MAG

Volume 16 #9

READ FREE !

RIDE FREE!

Happy New Year

January 2015

Joke Page

Feature Bike What’s Shakin’ We Support

Our Troops!!!

The Rider’s Guide to Ontario and Beyond!!

Over 25,000 Readers and Growing www.theridersmag.com

Table of Contents Pg. 4 - What’s Skakin’

See What’s New in The New Year Pg. 5 - Cruising with Critter

The Boss Sure can get Around Pg. 10 - Ride Manitoulin 2014

Kaz went Island Hopping this Summer Pg. 12 - Blackhawks MC Show N Shine 2014 The Tradition Continues Pg. 14 - Hello Fellow Inmates

Dangerous Donnie Dreams of Warmer Climes Pg. 16 - On The Road

JR’s Next Year is Shaping Up Pg. 17 - Fighting For Your Rights

Is it The Rooster or Double EI Who Knows Pg. 18 - Bobcaygeon Bike Fest 2014

The Fun in the Sun of June Remembered Pg. 22 - Joke Page

They Just Keep Comin’ Pg. 24 - A New Year, A New Calendar

www.hipscycle.ca 900 Colborne St. East 519-756-6218 Brantford, Ontario Since 1988

Store Hours Mon-Fri 9am - 5pm Sat. 9am - 1pm

27th ANNIVERSARY OPEN HOUSE JANUARY 24th 2015 10 am TO 3 pm

Pg. 26 - Shop/Builder Of The Month

Main Street Custom Powersports in Schomberg Pg. 29 - Shenanigans with Sherri O’Irish

PMS It’s That Time Of The Year Again Pg. 30 - Biker 101: The Life of Don Donny Peterson has a Story to Tell ALL LICENSED MECHANICS Pg. 36 - From the far East………Ontario that is.

Beau’s Year End Review Pg. 40 - Feature Bike

“Harley Apprenticeship” Pg. 42 - Biker Church

Pastor Dave’s Expects the Unexpected Pg. 43 - Sticker Stories

Sharon Party’s in and Around Huron 164 Main Street, Pg. 44 - G.B.N.F- Betty Mazda Lucan ON N0M 2J0

Danni Remembers a Great Lady Pre-Owned Harley Davidson Sales & Service

THE RIDER’S MAG

1111 Davis Drive, Suite 501, Unit 23, Newmarket, ON L3Y 9E5 Phone: (905) 235-5353 Toll Free 1-855-873-6680 Fax: (905) 235-5358 Email: rickdavis@theridersmag.com Website: www.theridersmag.com

Publisher / Editor : Rick Davis Publisher Emeritus: Alex J.R. MacRae Editor Emeritus: J.B. Ballantine

Managing Editor: ACE Wolske Creative Content Manager: Peppermint Patty Office Manager: Diane Davis

Advertizing and Sales Eastern Ont./Western Que. Rep: Beau Rooney 613-295-4444 Southern Ontario Rep: J.R. MacRae 905-631-5890 Southwestern Ontario Rep: Tim Armstrong 519-252-9631 Contributing Writers Pastor Dave Neals, Danni, Scary Larry, Manon Kellman, Beau Rooney, Jonathan Musson, Al Marentette, Rossaire, Tim Armstrong, Donny Petersen, Bob Laidlaw, Sherri O’Irish, Al Kasza, Dangerous Donnie, Bad Bob, Aaron Hesmer, Sharon Nicolson Contruibuting Cartoonists Critter, Michael MacDonald Office Security Supplied By: Captain “The Wonder Dog"

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WE’LL BE AT THE SUPERSHOW JAN 2, 3, & 4, 2015 IN HALL #5 STOP BY AND PICK OUT YOUR RIDE

PUT SOMETHING

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hogtowncycles.ca THE RIDERS MAG -----PAGE 3

What’s

January 2015 Jan 1st- Happy New Year!

Jan. 2nd-4th- North American

International Motorcycle Super Show

International Centre, Airport Rd. Fri:Noon til 10pm, Sat: 10am-9pm, and Sun:10am-5pm

Shakin’

Show

At The EY Centre, 4899 Uplands Dr. Fri. 4pm-9pm, Sat. 9am9pm & Sun. 9am-5pm

March Mar. 1st- Alvinston Motorcycle Swap Meet

Alvinston Community Centre Complex, 10am3pm, $5 Admission, Kids under 12 Free

Jan 24th-Hips Cycle 27th Anniversary Open House

April Apr. 8th- Jacox H-D Garage Party

900 Colborne St East, Brantford. 10am-3pm For their Loyal Customers it’s a Thankyou

2815 Argentia Road, Mississauga. From 6:30-8:30.

Please contact Julie Martin, Jacox Harley-Davidson Marketing & Promotions Coordinator at jmartin@ jacoxharley.com for more information.

Jan. 24 -Rocky’s H-D Get into the Cold Event th

900 Wilton Grove Rd, London.12 noon – 4pm, Ice Sculptors, Prizes, & Chilli Dogs. For More Info call: 519-438-1450 or www.rockys-harley.com

May May 3rd- Fort Erie Motorcycle Swap Meet

Jan. 24th- Jacox Harley-Davidson Lunch & Learn

West End Arena, Ridge Road, Fort Erie. 10am-4pm For more info: Contact Sean 289-686-6797 or 905246-1282 or email shawnmccooey@yahoo.com

2815 Argentia Road, Mississauga. Warranty & Extended Service Plans with Jacox HarleyDavidson’s Theresa Tempest, Business Manager and Jamie Ellis, Service Advisor at 1PM. Please register with Julie at jmartin@jacoxharley.com.

May 13th- Jacox H-D Boot Camp

Jan.31st-Kitchener Harley Get into the Cold Event

2255 Kingsway Dr. Kitchener, 12 noon – 4pm, Ice Sculptors, Prizes, & Chilli Dogs.

More Info: 519-893-0493 or www.kitchenerharley.com

February Feb. 13th-14th-15th- Ottawa International Motorcycle

2815 Argentia Road, Mississauga, From 6:308:30. Please contact Julie Martin, Jacox HarleyDavidson Marketing & Promotions Coordinator at jmartin@ jacoxharley.com for more information.

June June 21st- 5th Annual Bobcaygeon Bike Fest

Downtown Bobcaygeon, 9am-5pm Family Event, For more info Call Doug 705-793-1751 or www.BikeFestOntario.com

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Cruising With Critter Wow! Jan. 2015! We made it through another one, it has been a bit of a challenge at times and a real learning experience for an old worn out (or wearing out) truck driver but we are still at it and looking ahead to a new year and moving on.

We aren’t getting rich but we are getting along.

We are looking at many options at making The Mag bigger and better over the next year and stretching our wings a bit!

We will let you know as we get there.

My new knee parts seem to be working just fine and I’m walking almost like a normal person and I know that if I had the time to keep up a regular workout or exercise program as suggested by the surgeon and physio team I’d probably be doing even better but you gotta do what you gotta do and there are only so many hours in a day.

It doesn’t ache and keep me awake like it used to so that is a good thing!

The trike is still a work in progress as we refine things and work out the bugs that are sure to exist in any project. The Daytona module that Josh at Tombstones in Richmond Hill is really making a huge difference and problems that I thought were gearing seem to have been corrected as Josh had predicted.

He knows his stuff!

The new lowers and side covers have gone up to Jabber’s Airbrush Studio to be painted and I had been hoping to get the rear fenders up to him as well but we are now running out of time as I want to have it at the Supershow on Jan. 2, so it will be another, put what we have together and get it to

JACKETS

VESTS

CHAPS

this show and then go back to work on it before the Spring Show when it should be completed and ready for the road again. Swing by our booth in Hall 5 and check it out!

Rocky’s 90th Birthday party It was a sort of unpredictable day weather-wise but it was late October and we were still riding so we were happy to get a nice ride to London into our riding season. Petoonia really seemed to like it as she ate up the miles and ran like a dream and we met up with “Burlington Bab Bob” in Milton he would keep us company for the rest of the trip.

Despite a little rain and a little traffic jam around Cambridge it was a great ride.

It was worth the ride to join friends, family, staff and a whole store full of well-wishers in celebration of Rocky’s 90th Birthday.

Rocky was there looking like a man half

his age and seemed to be enjoying the party and I had no trouble finding him willing to pose for a picture with one, two or more

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Cruising With Critter pretty girls.

The place was packed and the enormous birthday cake stood no chance at all against this crowd.

We wandered around checking out the bargains and visiting with friends and getting some shots of the fantastic store before jumping back on Petoonia for the ride home.

Great party! Happy Birthday Rocky!

Aces and Eight’s 6th Anniversary Party I was lucky to be able to catch a ride with good friends Dusty and Jaye to attend the Aces and Eights 6th Anniversary party as it allows me to relax and have more than one beer and relax a little more than when I’m on my own.

This is a great Club and they always have great parties that are well attended by many Clubs from all over the Province.

As we arrived we noticed that the local Police Agency had once

The V Twin Specialists

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647-522-0516 fb.com/tombstonesmotorcycles THE RIDERS MAG -----PAGE 6

again volunteered their services as gate security and it did give us that warm and fuzzy feeling you get when you know that they have our safety and well-being at heart in providing this protection and are willing to spend whatever tax dollars are required to accomplish it!

Anyway we made our way down the drive and in to the party where the large crowd was well into full party mode.

The place was packed and there was no shortage of people to talk to.

As usual with this club, they know how to host a party and they know that a good party has good food but a great party has great food and food is what these folks are famous for! The table was just crammed with some truly amazing fare and plenty of it! It is impossible to just highlight one item on the table that was the highlight….. but the veal! All I could say when I walked back to check it out was wow! Apparently that was the word that came to mind with everyone when they walked into the room. That is what I heard from the spot that I sat to savour what I had loaded on my plate. Not once did I hear anyone say “Is this all there is?” or “They skimped out this time”…..mostly just “Wow!” followed by where are the plates?”

The evening was gone in a flash and it was time to wander off so we said our goodbyes loaded ourselves in Dusty’s truck waved at the gate security as we left (Do you have to wave all four fingers and the thumb or does one digit suffice?) and headed for home.

It was a great party! Thanks guys! Happy Anniversary! See you next year!

Peterborough Swap Meet It was a pretty decent day as Dangerous Doug and I headed out to the wilds of Peterborough for the 2nd Annual Peterborough Motorcycle Swap Meet, a whole lot better than the snow storm that we ran through to get there last year.

We allowed time for a nice breakfast before heading in and we were set for a good day like last year.

What we got was a great day as this event seems to be catching on as I predicted and I further predict

Cruising With Critter that it will get even better and will take it’s spot as a mainstay, must attend event maybe as soon as next year and will continue to grow as it had all the attributes of a traditional, old time swap that we all used to love back in the day that are getting scarcer with each passing year.

But this was today and this was good! I saw people who had come in from the Windsor and London areas that were just thrilled and were toting things out in armfuls. One guy I know well was there and had driven by car and had it right full and was still buying. I offered to take stuff home in my truck and arrange for him to get it later but he managed to get it all loaded. He had projects on the go that will all benefit from his excursion here today!

I wandered through talking to lots of folks I knew along the way noticing that more vendors had come out this year with a lot more stuff and there were more attendees as well and everyone seemed to be buying I know I walked out with a lighter wallet but extremely happy.

Bob and crew from Eagle Eye were out with a large variety of parts and accessories and Fred Hale, along with his incredible daughter Amy from

Strictly V Twin had taken up a large section as well and all seemed to be enjoying a busy day.

I squeezed through the crowd at PD Restorations from London’s table to say hi and just down from them Harold from make it Roar in Trenton seemed to be doing well but had time to say hi.

Bob and Mel from Full throttle Motors in Lindsay were here again this year and seemed to have learned their lesson from last year’s event and didn’t party heavily the night before this time.

I even ran into Tom Brown the weather guy from CTV and he was scoring some deals for his ride.

It was a good day, well worth the drive to Peterborough and it will get better as people catch on to this Gem of and event.

Paradice Riders Christmas Party Once again The Brothers of the Blade MC made plans to attend this party early and once again I booked a seat on “The Magic Bus” for the trip down

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THE RIDERS MAG -----PAGE 7

Cruising With Critter PARTS, ACCESSORIES, AND INSTALLATION

know they were, as I know Laura Lee well and have booked the band for several of my gigs and she told me they were having a ball and enjoyed playing for this type of crowd. From comments that I heard throughout the evening the crowd enjoyed them as well.

WE CAN KEEP YOU RIDING ALL YEAR ROUND!

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7 MAIN STREET EAST SELKIRK ONT. N0A 1P0 and back. After a busy day of appointments and so on I made my way to the Blades CH to party a bit before boarding the luxurious coach that has an on board bar for the trip to the Legion where the real party was to happen!

Happen it did! There was a huge attendance and it was in full swing when we arrived and then just got better. The band; “Laura Lee and the Tequila Rocking Birds” were doing a fantastic job of entertaining the crowd and had the dance floor filled constantly with their high energy renditions of good solid Rock N Roll tunes. They seemed to be having as much fun as the attendees! In fact, I Over 20 yrs of Award Winning Custom Bike Seats Pans~Shaping Engraving~Studs

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The BACCUUS MC. ONTARIO were out in large numbers to support the Clubs Annual party as they have always done and were having a great time as were the members of The Vagabonds MC, The Chosen Few MC and all the other clubs who attended.

The buffet table was again a highlight as these guys really know how to put out a spread of food. If you left here hungry you were definitely doing something wrong!

Anyhow another great party!

Merry Christmas to all! See you next year! Ho, ho, Ho! It can be an adventure cramming everything into a busy schedule and as hard as I try to make it all work smoothly it always seems to come down to the last minute to get things together and its never smooth but it does get done! Such was the case with our Calendar feature for January at Main Street Power Sports in Schomberg. It is after all, just across Hwy. 9 a mere 16 KM. from my place and we knew we were going to do it for months but schedules didn’t work and a hundred other different excuses were applied as there was always “lots of time” until with deadline loomed menacingly and we were left with days to get it done.

So I made arrangements with John and Joanne to squeeze the photo-shoot in on a Saturday morning and shoot the bikes before they loaded them on the Old Ford flatbed that they were decorating as a float for the Schomberg Christmas Parade that would be happening that afternoon.

I made a hasty call to the lovely Ashly, who has modelled for me before and she agreed to squeeze my shoot in before a Christmas party that she was to attend that afternoon.

Cruising With Critter We had time for breakfast before heading across to the big orange building on Hwy. 9 where we found John and Joanne busy preparing for their appearance in the parade and set to work while Ashly got changed I went around the shop getting shots of everything I could from the gorgeous showroom to the well-equipped, well laid out and spotless shop, to the Dyna room and machine shop and then tried the impossible which was to try and get shots that would show everything that they have to offer in the store. I’d need more than a feature article to show it. Besides that some of what was there was such a deal that I bought a bunch of things myself and went home with a full camera and shopping bags with very little damage done to my pocketbook.

We were accompanied the whole time

by Angus, a playful two year old black lab, who, we discovered wasn’t as interested in keeping an eye on us as we moved from bike to bike taking pictures but was waiting for an opportunity to grab and take off with any wardrobe items that were left unattended for an instant. He was having a good time!

There was a bike that we shot her on that Ashly fell in love with and she has put it on her wish list as it fit her to a T.

It was a good time for all as John, Joanne and company continued to get ready for the Christmas parade and subsequent party and we headed out to do the stuff that we had yet to cram into the rest of the day at a very busy time of the year.

Thanks to all!

Last Issue I mentioned a bar that I’d found on Bathurst St. in Newmarket called “Good Times” and said that I was anxious to check the place out when the live entertainment was happening. Well I got my chance when a friend of mine was booked there along with her father and his band. I had not heard either her or her Dad’s band perform before but she is such a delightful young lady who just exudes class and charm across town at Big Foot Bar, where she is bar tender and manager and where I met her (Yes they serve 50 there!).

I just had to check them out.

Her Dad is Doug Pendergrass and she is Sarah and I was so glad I went. It was a truly memorable evening with the assembly of some truly great musicians who have played in Toronto and area for years with some of the best bands around and they had the place packed with their own group of followers who joined in on many tunes with what Doug termed as “eighteen part harmonies” and Sarah was sensational and sings a sweet as she looks.

I would like to book them for one of my upcoming events.

See Ya at the Supershow Jan. 2nd, 3rd, and 4th.

THE RIDERS MAG -----PAGE 9

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Have you ever heard of an event and said I want to do that someday but, you just never seem to find the time. Something comes up like a buddy’s wedding, family reunion or the woman plans a shopping trip with the girls. So there you are stuck holding down the fort taking care of the rug rats and the mutt for the weekend. Oh by the way honey, seeing as you are home this weekend can you do ...... You know the way it goes and then your buddies show up after the weekend. Shit man, you should have been there.

We did this and that and

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www.nckcycle.com look at the pic’s man. You have to come with us next year.

Next year rolls around and another wrench gets tossed in to screw up your plans.

Not this time. Weeks of planning and I’m finally doing it

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THE RIDERS MAG -----PAGE 10

by Kaz

this year. Motel is booked and the ferry reservations to the island are confirmed.

The only thing that’s going to stop this from happening is a freak summer blizzard.

Friday finally arrives and we are on the road at 10:00 am. Our group left K-town heading north for the Ride Manitoulin Rally.

Our ferry reservations left us lots of time to travel the back roads up to Tobermory. The best thing about leaving on a work day is just that. You’re not working, you’re riding. It just seems perfect when a 3 hour trip, takes you over 5 hours to get there with little or no traffic on the roads. Lots of time to de-stress from the 4 day work week.

The ferry finally gets into Toby and we are all herded into the nose of the boat to tie down our bikes. (Note for riders: Take your own tie-downs the ropes suck.) With the weather being near perfect we toured the boat and immediately found the bar for a beverage. Like many other riders heading up for the run, the boat trip up was relaxed and the beers refreshing. En-route to South Baymouth they announced that the planned road to Providence bay was closed and that we had to take a detour to get to the event. At this point (the middle of Georgian Bay) I’m certain that no one really cared.

We were almost on the island and heading for a great event sponsored in part by the Lion’s Club.

Back on shore the detour was easy to find and it was a nice tree lined winding road into Mindemoya. After checking into our motel and filling the fridge with beverages, we headed into Providence Bay to check the grounds out.

After meeting up with Lydia and registering we got our programs and the weekend event schedule. The camping area was already filling up with some early partiers and the food vendors had already set-up their trailers. We were all feeling the ride up, so instead of waiting for the band JoPo Blackwater to start up, we decided to retire and save the partying till Saturday.

Saturday 7:00 am... On a weekend!!! We found early risers enjoying a biker breakfast and then off to register for the poker run. A little untraditional would best describe the Poker run. You were given a map of the island with your choice of routes. Combining east, west, north and south stops you could choose your direction and just ride. Collect 5 stamps/ signatures on your travels and be back before 5:00 to hand in your passport and pick your cards. No pressure and you could join one of the guided tours or travel with your own group.

They even had an adventure Off-Road ride for those riders

Ride Manitoulin 2014

that preferred the less travelled road.

We chose to travel north and east in reverse and met many other riders on the run. With many local people joining in the event I would estimate about 300 riders were invading the island on today’s run.

The roads were in very good shape and the scenery was fantastic. Just a nice relaxing ride…. Shit !!!! Behind schedule big time and so is everyone else.

The games started at 2:00 and it’s 3:00 and we are hell and gone from Providence Bay. We booked it back to the motel for a quick drink and raced over to cover the games at 4:00. Lucky for me, no-one else had made it back either, so

the games started around 3:30. With experienced Royal City Rider from Guelph handling the games and The Rock Harley Davidson handling the Mc duties, the games got underway.

Barrel race, slow race, clean sweep, balloon toss and bite the weenie, being some of the regular run games and everyone was having a blast. At 5:00 the Show ‘n’ Shine

by Kaz

started and some very fine rides were on display for all to vote on.

Of course we ran into a few of our local friends including John from Motorcycle Enhancements and Michelle Semeniuk and it was really great to see the RcR crew from Guelph again.

Saturday night brought out more crazies partying to the Green River Revival (a CCR tribute band).

Heading back to the motel after dark was a bit of a challenge.

There are lots of deer up here that wander out at dusk so it was a slow ride back into town.

A very well planned event with some nice changes coming for next years event. The team of 9 people met once a month organising and getting sponsor’s on board for this years event. All proceeds from the event went to Sweet Slumber a charity to replace hospital beds in Little Current.

The organizers want to thank everyone that attended the event and all the sponsor’s for supporting them. A big thanks go out to the Rock from Sudbury for their donations to the Show ‘n’ Shine and to the RcR from Guelph for organizing and running the games. There is a new website in the works for next year so watch for the changes. We all had a blast and have already reserved our rooms for next year.

THE RIDERS MAG -----PAGE 11

Blackhawks MC Show N Shine 2014 It was a beautiful day as Petoonia worked our way across to Beautiful Downton Mount Hope for to Bobbies Bar where the Black Hawks MC were holding their Annual Show and Shine. This event has become a tradition with riders from near and far and is always well attended.

I had a quick stop to make on the way though just up the road at the Checkered Flag where there had been a package left for me by a long time local rider by the name of Smoking Joe. Joe called me several months ago and said he was moving to Manitoulin Island and had to part with some of

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his stuff which included a whole bunch of 50 memorabilia and when he asked Jim Stevenson at the Flag who might be interested he gave him my name and number. He had wanted me to come by and check it out but I just couldn’t make it happen and he called to tell me that he had boxed it up and left it with Jim and I could pick it up when I was around.

Jim wasn’t there told his girl where to find it.

She came out with a large box which caused me and her a little concern as to if I would be able to transport it when she noticed what I was riding.

“I can put it back and you can come back for it when you have larger

vehicle.” She offered.

I told her that I thought I could make it work and went out to load it up on Petoonia.

It wouldn’t fit in the beer box and I had no bungee cords long enough or enough of them to strap it to the rack on top of the beer box so I crammed it on the passenger seat and although I had to sit way forward like you would if you were packing a chick with an oversized rack, I could still ride safely. So with my box of goodies as a passenger I headed back down the road to Bobbie’s where the parking lot was already full of bikes and people of all shapes sizes makes and models.

I parked and retrieved my camera and hat from the beer box which was no easy feat with the large box wedged in the passenger seat but they are both essential roving reporter items so I got it done.

I then started to wander through the lot taking in all the great looking bikes and ran into “Burlington Bad Bob” who had been covering the Hamilton Bikers Church Poker Run earlier in the day and decided to swing by and check this event as well. I got some shots and talked to a bunch of folks before calling a well-deserved beer break and yes, they do serve 50 here. It is after all a class “A” establishment.

The judging was being done and the 50/50 tickets were going fast. I’d won the 50/50 at their last event and was anxious to see if I could repeat at this one.

Back outside I went about the task of getting pictures of the bikes and as many pretty ladies that would let me, again not an easy task because there were plenty of both here today.

The Black Hawks M.C. would like to thank our loyal sponsors for their help and their generous donations: Mike Janjic, Mark & Margie Peters, On The Fringe Leather, Bobbie’s Restaurant, Brass Pole, Classic Leathers-Hamilton, Clare’s Harley-Davidson-Niagara, Hip’s Cycle-Brantford; Charles Jones, Rocky’s Harley-Davidson, Wiggie’s Restaurant, Boston Pizza, Suck Bang Blow, Poole’s Cycle, Kitchener Harley-Davidson, Crown Auto Sales-Paul Laurinec, A&A Auto Parts-Robert Wharrie, The Innsville, Taylor Soil & Gravel, Piano Techniques-Ross Johnson, Rite Time, Shelley Hermiston, John “Reb” Felker, Jim “Huck” Wilkinson, Terry Moe, Albert Skeates, Jim Broome, Bob Hampson.

THE RIDERS MAG -----PAGE 12

Blackhawks MC Show N Shine 2014 A show and Shine is always subject to the weather. If it’s shitty some won’t ride in it and attendance is affected. If it’s too nice some people who did ride out didn’t stay because they’d rather be riding and attendance is affected.

This was the case today it was just too damn nice out and large groups of riders who came in and registered decided to go for a ride instead.

But attendance was still good and there were plenty of bikes to award prizes to.

The afternoon flew by the judging was done. I found a good spot from which to get pictures and ordered a 50 so I wouldn’t dehydrate (You always have to keep health and well-being in mind, as per The Roving Reporter Handbook.) then set about completing my day’s task. Winners were announced and rewarded. Someone else won the 50/50 and it was now time to wander

home to check out my newly acquired 50 stuff (It was amazing by the way! Some really rare and one of a kind items were in that huge box. Thanks Smoking Joe it has all found a spot on my shelves but now I need more shelves!) It was a great afternoon as any spent with a great bunch of people at a great event. See you next year!

The Winners were; Off Shore- Stock- 1) Mark P. 2) Bob S – Off Shore-Custom- 1) Paul Met. 2)Linda p Big Twin-Stock; 1) Ryder 2)Mike W Big Twin- Custom 1) Brian M 2) Robert L Sportster 1) Jessie N 2) Judy T, Antique - Greg F Best Paint- Brian M.

THE RIDERS MAG -----PAGE 13

Hello fellow inmates...

by Dangerous Donnie from Durham

Drinking Triples Seeing Double and acting Single ….not really but I heard that from a drunk biker years ago…after I asked him how he was doing…

So he is another installment of my rambling ………………

So many places to go and not enough time or money…. well that’s my excuse, typically I think of things I should do but usually put them off, and the problem is I am not getting any younger, it’s not like we all have an infinite number of days ride in the sunshine if you get my drift. I have been promising to head back down to Arizona/Nevada again (I was there in 2005) and shit 10 years just flew by. My kid brother who is 5 years younger than I has a winter hideout in Lake Havesu Arizona and

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during that f*#king ice storm last Christmas in Toronto he called me to see how I was doing. He knew we E-mail : crops@cogeco.net had no power and it was cold as shit, so Tel. (905) 333 3282 480 Guelph Line he chirps “brother Fax (905) 639 9190 Burlington, Ontario it’s tough down here Toll Free 1 800 668 0980 Canada L7R 3M1 too… I just picked up 30 bottles of beer for 11 bucks and just got home from a days ride on your old purple Road King over to the Laughlin and stopped by your favorite bar in Oatman, sat in the sun for few hours quaffing ales” my younger meathead of a brother really knows how to time a perfect shot of sarcasm. Some of you may have had a chance to ride AZ/NV and Cali…those three states in the spring are perfect for us northern riders…not too hot not

THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 14

too cold…just right…here a few pix from my old trip…checking out the plant life and just standing the road..

The kid brother AKA Dirty Bert bailed out from his 9-5 life and spent some of his dough, bought a joint down there (for less than you would pay for new ½ ton) and now spends his winters in AZ and summers outside of Calgary. I have several friends now with Florida places to go and escape the winters…so here’s a brain storm (I will probably never act on) …”get the f*ck out dodge and find something down south where I can duck the cold weather up here. ! …Anyhow for the short term coming to the rescue is my friend Ricky (formerly of the Aces and Eights MC) and as I write this has asked me if I would drive down with him to Fort Myers (he is hauling his bikes) and would like some company, so I may have already gone and come back by the time you read my latest bullshit.

Anyhow I (along with my MC brothers) have been visiting various MC’s at their CH’s and vice versa, have enjoyed some really fun nites ..usually a weekly visit to our counterparts Rangers MC down in Toronto, as well as a few stops at Toronto East, North Toronto and Downtown (chapters) where we are welcomed, always good see everybody.

Last weekend it was Hamilton’s turn to put out spread. The Rangers attended this Christmas bash where Hamilton had three tables reserved for us, a 5 course meal was served right to our spot, drinks at legion prices..good DJ music. We had great time and met some new people (shout out to the Cripplers (Steel City Riders) and the Italian Canadian club) On a cold Monday nite in the Schwa out we dropped in on the Oshawa Chapter to socialize with young Adam and his fellow members.

We had our first annual “All you can eat Italian Pasta nite” at our clubhouse and it was attended big time and a roaring success…like to thank the following clubs for supporting our event… our fellow Rangers MC from downtown, the Amigos MC, Longhorns MC, Stolen Souls MC, (as well as guys from Toronto East/Oshawa/ Downtown chapters) and ALL the way from London Princess

Hello fellow inmates...

Cristina and her entourage of Iron Sirens ….those ladies can party let me tell you fine readers, and they LOOK GOOD TOO! ..note the pictures!

I would like to throw in a few plugs for friends…DeGroot Auto in Ajax…Marilee and Mark boss-lady and boss-man.. both long time Harley riders who always look after my four wheel issues and love to talk bikes while you wait….great people…and can’t forget Bill and Ron at Motor City Custom for many years have looked after the Harley rider in the Schwa and beyond…a great shop…(I have been bugging them to do a feature in the Mag to show what they can do – custom work, service and sales)….

Well now we are rolling into the hibernation season… and all I can say, is stay thirsty, hope to see you at the Super Show in January...continue to visit various clubhouses… hang in there cupcake the spring will eventually arrive…take a trip down south if you have the do-rae-me…or just sit the by the old wood stove and have a few ….that is my plan…A Merry Christmas to Critter and all people that contribute to the Mag..and all the faithful readers…Critter works his butt off to get these issues out…and the guy still has a day job…I want to get he is smoking!

by Dangerous Donnie from Durham

THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 15

On The

It’s never too early to start thinking about spring and riding so I have been working on feature shoots and want to thank all those who submitted shovels since the last issue of the mag, bi-monthly makes it seem like everything is late but those bikes when I updated my list they had come in since the last time I submitted articles for the mag.

I still need more vintage bikes so you know in our world a shovel is a shovel not vintage so we are looking for panheads, knuckles, flatheads any displacement, we also take American built Indians of the older persuasion if there are any vintage Indian owners out there. I never have enough men’s sportsters so guys if you have a sportster we are shooting for 2016 issues this spring / summer and ladies if you get onto our lists now you might just make it onto the pages of the 2015 run of the riders mag.

Back in volume 8 when we switched gears and cut the mag back from 12 issues a year to 10 issues a year we restructured our feature bikes from 4 categories to 5, why because 5 divides into 10 better than 4 does and volume 8 started back in about 2006 and the rage was ground up custom builds, what have become known as special construction. I know there’s a few out there with bikes that qualify as special construction we have had some trikes of late in that category and I know that there’s a few radical choppers out there so you guys with them custom bikes especially if ya built em yourself send us some pics and contact info we need your ride and lady in the mag.

We do ladies features from May to Sept each year so a

with total of 5 ladies bikes, I have a couple of J.R. shoots on file from

Road

last year and even one from the year before who posed on her husband’s bike last year so her bike will appear early next year but we may have a couple of openings for next year depending on how our road trips go down.

So no more beating a dead horse, my email is theridersmag@gmail.com my office number is still 905-6315890 for those of you who might be internet challenged call me and we will figure out a way to get pictures contact info and all that other jazz so we can fit you onto one of our annual feature shoot sweeps being southwestern Ontario and east of Toronto, we do Niagara and the tri city area several times a year as it is local to us and of course we invite all our feature bikers to ride down to Burlington and hook up with us by the home office and do the shoots there if that works better for you.

One parting note before I take off for Florida for a couple weeks of theme parking and golfing, Friday the 13th is coming and this is one of those all cold weather versions that we get every so often with a February march and November. I have ordered some ladies titty shirts and I will be down in Dover on the February event and possibly even the march one which depends mostly on when march break falls for the kids cause if its during that week, regrettably I will be in Florida although it would be the first 13th I’ve personally missed in 2 decades, I hate to spoil a record but what can I say.

That’s a wrap for this issue, I won’t see you at the supershow cause I’ll be somewhere warm but I will see you in February at Friday the 13th in port Dover, they are small gatherings but gatherings all the same. Send your feature bike and lady bike info to me and we will hook you up for a future edition of the mag until then see you out there, on the road.

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Fighting for Your Rights Sumbitch . . . its 2015!! Fuggedaboud’ daylight savings time. My calendar runs on legs like Ben Johnson! It’s my own personal viewpoint that once an individual passes the halfcentury mark there is a distinct time shift resulting in twelve hour days. Yea, it was gone in a flash but I’m relieved to see the back end of the misery that was 2014. Right outta the gate, it was a year filled with a series of disappointment and death, a shitload of sorrow and a plethora of grief. Soooo, fuck off and fuck you 2014!

Moving on . . . The OCC is contemplating challenging the ambiguous and thorny issue of the current handlebar height restrictions as detailed in the Ontario Highway Traffic Act, Regulation 596 i.e. 10. (1) No person shall operate upon a highway a motorcycle or motor assisted bicycle equipped with handlebars that are more than 380 millimeters in height above the uppermost portion of the seat provided for the operator when the seat is depressed by the weight of the operator. R.R.O. 1990, Reg. 596, s. 10 (1). WTF??

Fuzzy logic or what, Eh Ollie? The current definitions of what is (or isn’t) legal for handlebars are dubious at best and are enforced via personal interpretation by law enforcement at the scene. This lack of a decisive (and easily misunderstood) description of the legal height for handlebars leaves a huge opening for the misuse and abuse via personal prejudices’ on the part of law enforcement. The time has come to make change and end the SOP of harassment under the guise of public safety. Bars & Loud Pipes!!! These are the two most over-abused explanations for interrupting your peaceful movement between points “A” and “B”. No doubt these laws were enacted in the interest of public safety but the lack of a definitive and easily deciphered description has permitted law enforcement to misuse its necessity. One only has to Google ‘Ontario Handle Bar Height’ (43,100 results) to really get a perspective regarding the haziness of the current regulation. It’s time that this province made some advances to slow the persecution of a visible minority via forcing bikers to participate in the reek of uninvited and offensive roadside pullovers hiding behind the guise of righteous police work.

This month’s OCC feature club is 10-52 Niagara. Located in the Niagara region of Ontario, the club was organized in 2012 to provide a stress-free environment for first responders. The 10-52 designation is the police code for requesting an ambulance. The club was formed to allow medics, who shared a love for riding motorcycles, a place where they could hang with Brothers from another Mother and share their experiences. The club launched their first charity event this year with the Shaun Walker Memorial Ride to raise money and awareness for COAST Niagara, a local organization that deals with Critical Incident Stress Management. Although 10-52 Niagara was formed by and for medics, the club also accepts non-emergency based members. The club is not brand specific and can be reached via email c/o 10-52@hotmail.ca or by visiting www.10-52.ca or via Facebook 10-52 Niagara.

Another OCC policy is to emphasize and raise awareness about the significance of motorcycle safety and the prevention of more unnecessary biker injuries and fatalities. As a rider with over 55 years of piloting almost every make of twowheeled bliss, the one major standout lesson learned – get to know your motorcycle extremely well. Better yet – get to know it intimately - not only the handling nuances while riding the machine but also when it is motionless. Whenever you wash your bike, take some time to check fasteners for tightness and brake pads for wear. Give yur tires a complete going over while checking carefully for any foreign objects and don’t forget the air pressure. Always do a pre-ride check

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of lights, controls and mirrors. Most important . . . you need to see and be seen! All of this may seem redundant . . . but over the years these important personal rules have allowed me to enjoy my machine without the sting of road-induced injuries. Juss sayin’ not preachin’.

IMHO, as a biker’s rights activist with over thirty years on the job, 2015 is shaping up to be one of the most promising years in the quest for a non-abusive biker environment in the Province of Ontario. Gains in this area are excruciatingly slow but over the past three years, the OCC has experienced major membership growth. Currently, over 80 clubs and over 40 independent members populate the roster of the Ontario Confederation of MotorcycleClubs. That’s a major bump from the sparse numbers of our salad years. Non-members can also benefit from the OCC experience by visiting www. occ4u.org and downloading our (absolutely free) Police Harassment Pullover Form. Keep it stashed and close for the time when you experience that unexpected invasion of your lawful activities. Try to gather as much info as you can and email it to me via treasurer@occ4u.org . The Ontario Confederation of Motorcycle Clubs has always been actively pursuing an agenda of change long past overdue. Perhaps, you have something to contribute? Remember, you don’t have to be a clubber to join the OCC and lend your support to the cause. It may be the 21st Century but this is my/our/ your/ time to make beneficial alterations in the areas of biker safety and biker rights.

Rooster aka Double El OCC Treasurer

THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 17

Bobcaygeon Bike Fest 2014

It was a glorious morning as I headed out to the east on “Black Bitch 3” regrettably leaving Petoonia sitting in the garage, but this is the job that I had in mind when I had thought of the whole trike project in the first place. And while I could have just converted Petoonia it just didn’t seem right as I enjoy riding her just the way she is and still do, whenever possible, but for occasions like this BB3 was made to order is the one that gets the call.

There was a time when I felt blessed (And I was!) to have just one Harley!

She really does get attention as we roll down the road so just from a promotional standpoint she is doing her job and when you consider that I’m now able to haul not just a whack of Mags, but the stand to put them in and all my gear as well so it is a rolling billboard and an instant portable display/booth wherever I go.

She handles like a dream, although we still have some gearing issues to sort out, for the most part, I couldn’t be happier.

The word about Bikefest has definitely gotten out there and I was really anticipating this year’s event and figured that attendance would surpass that of previous years.

They had been blessed with excellent weather forecasts and with solid advertising and previous years’ track records and a wealth of experience to draw on and this event had all the makings of success!

I know organizer, Krazzy

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Doug has put his heart and soul into this event and has a strong and very motivated crew to help him and the Town certainly appears to be solidly behind him and all are determined to make it a permanent happening!

It certainly is a great ride into town and the town itself is fantastic, with ample bars, restaurants, and businesses that recognise the opportunity not only to make money but to establish a long term event.

There are bound to be comparisons drawn between this event and Port Dover, which is somewhat fair as any of these type of events tend to mimic Port Dover’s success. There have been many attempts to duplicate what was created by accident at that quaint little town on the shores of Lake Erie few have even come close, until now. This could really develop into something. They certainly seem to be on the right track.

One striking difference is that the Police presence here is minimal with pairs of cops strolling calmly and respectfully through the crowds mingling, smiling and enjoying the day and is in stark contrast to the over the top show of authority displayed at Port Dover. A great example of good Community Policing and being a presence without having to look like a bunch of storm troopers awaiting the word from the Emperor and Darth Vader to destroy everything in sight!

I arrived about 11:00 AM at the barricades and was told that the streets were full but I was allowed through to seek out Doug and company and wove my way through the already massive crowds of people, vendors and motorcycles.

I found a spot not far from the Show and Shine area to park, and I set up and filled the magazine rack on the street beside the trike that was already attracting a crowd.

Satisfied that the Mag display was up and functioning, I slung my Nikon around my neck and went off in search of adventure and to enjoy the day I wandered into the Show and Shine area to find the ever lovely Bonnie Hamilton looking right at home among all the other pretty things and keeping a watchful eye on things as entrants set up and did the final polishing on their motorcycles and displays.

Michael Walter had somewhat downsized his usual elaborate display for his bike but still put on quite a show and took time to come over to say hi.

There was a lot to see with some really fine looking motorcycles entered and vying for some of the enormous trophies that were up for grabs. I got some shots, said some hellos and continued on my way first heading

Bobcaygeon Bike Fest 2014 off back over the bridge to check out what was happening back that way and then work my way back. I had a lot of ground to cover.

I ran into Panda and his best friend John Cosentini from Motorcycle Enhancements as they made their way up the street and we stopped to talk awhile.

It seemed like everybody I knew was in town and it is an absolute pleasure for me but it makes for a slow journey, what with stopping, seemingly every few yards to talk to this one or that one as the place was packed from one end to the other with motorcycles of every shape, size, make, model, colour and description lining both sides of the Main street, side streets and parking lots. They were literally everywhere as were the people.

People of all ages, shapes, sizes, sexes, colours, descriptions and walks of life that intermingled quite well and completely packed the streets, bars, restaurants and shops that day.

There were Clubbers, non-Clubbers, sport bike riders and bikers of all descriptions shapes sizes colours and sexes, non-bikers, want to be bikers, used to be bikers, boaters, tourists, gawkers and hawkers out that day and they were there with a common goal; to have fun and make this event rock!

And rock they did with bands set up to entertain in bars and on the street so if you were there and you were bored, you should have just stayed home as you were just taking up valuable space that could

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It was great to see Larry Pooler and his lovely bride Nancy out and with Nancy looking so great! I’m sorry that I didn’t get to talk longer.

I journeyed up and down

the street several times and had to stop by a get a liquid refreshment served from my pal Scotty’s (Who, for some reason I keep calling John, even though I know better.) special dispenser that was mounted on the back of his bike. It was drawing lots of attention.

This was vendor heaven as well and they were set up everywhere throughout town and I was able to pick up a few things that I’d been looking for.

One of our advertisers; Rod Barber from Wizards Specialized Appearance Products seems to get out to as many, if not more events than me, was set up here as well, demonstrating his fine line of products. I‘ve often thought that I ought to give him a camera and let him cover some of this stuff for me but he is too busy doing what he does. He must have noticed the sorry state that the Trike was in as I rode by on my way into Town (I don’t have time to clean, not if I want to get you your Mags on time and still have me cover events too! So if I have to deal with a bit of dirt and grime.) as he handed me a bottle of his detailing elixir. I got home and while I was unloading my stuff, I had the bottle in my hand, several micro fibre cloths were close at hand and had a few spare moments and figured I’d give it a try maybe just one fender to see if it worked. Once I started I just couldn’t stop! It worked like ringing a bell!! I was impressed and motivated and when I finished with Black Bitch 3 I turned my attention to the lovely Petoonia who was

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Bobcaygeon Bike Fest 2014

sitting looking sad and neglected in the garage and soon had her shining like a new penny as well with her purple paint just a glistening even in the subdued light of the garage! I looked out into the driveway to see my F150 (Black Bitch 2) and Godzilla’s Malibu sitting out there also in need of a good cleaning and said aloud; “Enough is enough!” and grabbed a cold 50 from the refrigerator and sat down with ‘Zilla and the dogs until the strange urge to clean subsided!

OK back to Bobcaygeon!

I continued on and visited with more friends and acquaintances before declaring it officially time for a beer break. I knew that finding a place that served 50 would be like mission impossible so just found a place with beer, cold and wet, beer! They were plentiful but finding a spot to sit was another problem! The places were all packed with others who had also declared it to be beer time!

I managed to get a spot with some friends and sat and relaxed a bit before wandering off once again as I couldn’t allow myself to get too comfortable as I wouldn’t get any work done.

So it was that I spent the day just wandering the beautiful crowded streets of Bobcaygeon, taking time to note just what a beautiful spot this is and how the Town has gotten behind the event to bring much needed revenue to the local businesses. I also was amazed at how well Krazzy Doug and the team that put this all together had done to make it happen!

Speaking of Krazzy Doug; I’d catch a glimpse of him now and then as he’d pass by in his stretch golf cart/Limo zine either on his way somewhere or just coming back from there, and I knew not to get in his way. He was a busy man!

The day flew by and it was soon time to make my way back to the Show and Shine area for the announcement of the winners and the awarding of the trophies.

It was a fantastic day and from all the comments that I heard from those at the event and from everyone since, it was a huge success! They caught a break from Mother Nature and managed to chalk up a huge win for not just the organizers and the local businesses who realized a much needed influx of cash but to the bikers who have gained a biker friendly venue at which to let their hair down and just enjoy themselves. It was like a breath of fresh air.

This has all the potential in the World to expand into a bigger and better event and encompass a whole lot more activities and spinoffs.

Congratulations to all involved and all who came out to support it as it takes more than the initiative and efforts of the organisers and all

the hard work that goes into the planning and execution of it, because without the support of the vendors and all who attend it will fade and become just another memory. This was a success for all the right reasons.

Thanks for a great day, a great time, and a great venue!

See you next year!

Bobcaygeon Bikefest Show and Shine Winners; Sidecar- Heather Bradley, Vintage- Steve Toms, Women Riders- Pinky, Sportster- Shawn Gannon, Asian Custom- Andy Martin, Asian TouringJeff Brabant, Trike- Carol Whitney, Sportbike- Andy and Dar, American Custom- Michael Walter, American Touring- George Shurepa, Radical Chopper- Doug Marr, Rat Bike/Bobber- Mike Holland, Best in PaintBev Gannon, Best in Show-Michael Walter

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The doctor responded by asking, ‘Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer or wine?’

‘Oh no,’ I replied. ‘I’m not doing drugs, either!’

Then he asked, ‘Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?’

“I said, ‘Not much since my former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!’

‘Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?’

‘No, I don’t,’ I said.

THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 22

Page

He asked, ‘Do you gamble, go on vacations or have a lot of sex?’

‘No,’ I said.

He looked at me and said;’ Then, why do you even give a shit?

I am in the minority in Calgary, Vancouver, Toronto and every casino in this country.

I was born in the thirties, forties, fifties or sixties, yet I am somehow responsible for some First Nations people being screwed out of their land in the 1700’s!

I pay import tax on cars made in Ontario.

I am allowed to skydive and smoke, but not allowed to drive without a seat belt.

All the money I make until mid July must go to paying taxes.

I live and work among people who believe Americans are Ignorant...

These same people cannot name their own country’s new territory.

Although I am sometimes forced to live on hamburgers and don’t have a pot to piss in, I sleep well knowing that my taxes helped purchase a nice six figure home in Vancouver for some unskilled refugee.

Although they are unpatriotic and constantly try to separate...

Quebec still provides most of my nation’s prime ministers.

95% of my nation’s international conflicts are over fish.

I’m supposed to call black people African Canadians, although I’m sure none of them have ever been to Africa for

Joke

that matter.

I am being told that paying a 200% tax on alcohol is fair.

I am also being told that the same tax on gasoline is also fair.

Even if I have no idea what happened to that old rifle my Grandfather gave me when I was 14, I will be considered a criminal if I don’t register it.

I am being told that spending $15 billion to promote the French language in the rest of Canada is fair when the province of Quebec doesn’t support or even recognize the ENGLISH language.

I am being told that paying $1 million for 3 Stripes (‘The Voice of Fire’ painting in Ottawa ) by the National Art Gallery was a good purchase, even though 99% of this country didn’t want it or will ever see it.

When I look at my pension and realize that I take home a third of what I actually make, I say ‘Oh well, at least we have better health care than the U.S.A..’

I must bail out big corporations who drive their business into the ground and say, ‘yeah that’s ok.’ And When they move all their manufacturing plants and jobs to a third world country and say, ‘no problem.’

I must fork over my portion of the 11.5 million dollars to show the Queen of England and her family a good time visiting in my country even though I can’t afford to visit the province next to me.

Canada is the highest taxed nation in North America, the biggest Military buffer for the United States , and the number one destination for fleeing terrorists.

The Lord’s prayer is not allowed in our schools anymore because of other religions who chose to move here.

But prayer rooms for Muslims are provided.

I am an angry white person.

I am one pissed off taxpayer, who is broke.

I am Canadian!!!

My name is Ben Dover ....say it fast!!!

No wonder the Americans have financial problems; guess they thought they would never run out of money!!! When NASA first planned to send up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ball-point pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $1.2 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass, and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to +300 C. Confronted with the same problem, the Canadians used a pencil!

Page

The boss was in a quandary, he had to get rid of one of his staff.

He had narrowed it down to one of two people, Debra or Jack. It would be a hard decision to make, as they were both equally qualified and both did excellent work. He finally decided that in the morning whichever one used the water cooler first would have to go.

Debra came in the next morning, hugely hung-over after partying all night. She went to the cooler to get some water to take an aspirin.

The boss approached her and said, “Debra, I’ve never done this before, but I have to either lay you or Jack off.”

Debra replied, “Could you just jack off? I really have a headache.

In a busy Parisian café, a Quebecer is sitting alone, enjoying a crème caramel as a tourist approaches: May I sit here?

No problem...

Thank you, very nice...

Are you on vacation?

Yes, I arrived yesterday...

What country are you from?

Norway. You? From Quebec.

Quebec? I don’t know Quebec...

Quebec... Near the Atlantic, next to Ontario, the Great Lakes...

No, I don’t know these places.

Never mind then, I’m from Canada...

Continued on Page 45

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NEW YEARS DAY

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Main Street Custom Powersports Builder/Shop of the Month Jan. 2015 As you come across Hwy. 9 as you near Hwy 27, from both direction, and glance to the west you can’t help but notice the huge orange building that has been a landmark and a huge part of the community since 1963 that is now home to Main Street Power Sports.

The big orange structure that once housed state of the art milling equipment along with a General store and served the local community as Schomberg Supplies until John and Joanne purchased it in 2012 and Main Street Power Sports was born; that is, after they restored the building, and reversed the ravages of time along with the wear and tear that any commercial property that has stood for forty five or so years would have suffered and this place was showing its age.

It was a daunting task that would test their resolve and would tax them emotionally, financially and physically as the project unfolded further and every day would bring new surprises and more challenges to light.

There was feed that still remained in the mill and the place had become infested with huge rats that had caused many other problems other than just their physical presence that is inherent with these nasty creatures. They had chewed through much of the wiring causing enormous fire hazards.

In fact there were many scorched areas where fires had actually started but hadn’t caught hold. So the rats were sent packing and the space was reclaimed and things got cleaned up. No easy task to be sure, but the couple was more than up to it and with a lot of help from friends and family they got it done.

Of course it would have been easier and certainly make far more sense economically, to have just torn the whole place down and erected a new building. That is the modern way of doing things, but that is not “John’s Way”. It is not in his character to destroy something that can be preserved, be it a motorcycle, car or a building. This iconic building had survived for all these years served the community well and its removal would change the look and feel of the entire area and that would have been a disservice and disrespectful of the history of that community and John would have none of that.

So it still stands proudly in its picturesque country setting as a landmark and now is a beacon for local motorcycle enthusiasts who are looking for a spot where they can get expert service and advice and so much more.

As the restoration of the building, had revealed new surprizes at every turn, it was now John and Joanne’s turn to provide the surprizes with all that they have to offer in what has become an amazing store that is now a source of pride for the couple who put their hearts and souls, along with blood sweat and tears into its creation and they are changing things up and improving with each passing day, outside and in.

It is a full service, one stop shop, which offers service to all types of motorcycles with a dyna tuning room, a fully equipped machine shop and service area and the greasy nipples section where you can get ride in, while you wait oil changes.

They can do anything from ground up custom builds, restorations, and

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THE RIDERS MAG ---- PAGE 26

SUNDAY MAY 3rd

Main Street Custom Powersports Builder/Shop of the Month Jan. 2015

using their enormous network of professional services they can get whatever they can’t do in house such as paint, chroming or anything else you could need to complete any project done from simple to complex at realistic prices.

T h e show room is packed with a wide selection of quality used motorcycles of all makes and models and if they don’t have the bike you want in stock, tell them what you are looking for and they will use their massive resources, knowledge and expertise to find you the exact bike you need at the price you can afford and save you the hassle of searching the Province.

Inside the store you can wander for hours trying to take in all the bikes, memorabilia, pictures and signage that festoons the entire showroom and an ever-expanding and changing variety

of merchandise from helmets, clothing items such as leathers, boots, gloves, bandanas and such that are priced to be kind to your wallet. Think you’ve seen it all in a previous visit?

Not likely!

The stock changes like the tides as does the décor!

During the riding season they do “Dyno T h u rs d ay ” ride ins, where you can get a special on Dyna tuning your ride while you hang out on the patio that overlooks the highway and enjoy a beverage or a burger and relax or just take in the marvelous store.

It is a great store and a great shop that is operated by friendly,“down to earth”, honest, knowledgeable people who offer a great services at fair but realistic prices.

They respect the history of the building that houses their business and they honour “Old time” values and traditions. Drop in and check them out.

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Two months in, and a ways to go yet, before we see anything that resembles good riding weather. Truthfully, there is never enough riding time, but hopefully many of you, put some well-earned clicks on your bikes, and had a chance to go on some great journeys.

Unfortunately, for some of us who live in Canada, the northern States, and anywhere else North of 40*, winBuild Design ter is a reality, a harsh, slightly depressing one. This, makes many avid bikers susceptible to symptoms of the “Biker Blues”, “Cycle Sickness”, “Motorcycle Separation Anxiety”, “Wind Therapy Deprivation”, and Custom Bikes & Engines the dreaded “PMS” (Parked Motorcycle Syndrome).

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5) Restock and check tools and safety gear in your saddle May the paths we take be free from bags, beer boxes and tool pouches. harm, our troubled times be few, 6) Make a CD of pics and videos of riding, and share it with So we May can still keep riding, For it’s your riding friends, or share and post it online. what we love to do.

7) Plan a long trip, a new route or destination, or gather Sherri O’Irish 2014 info on events happening month by month.

REMEMBER: People who say 8) Motorcycle Mags, websites, and forums can keep you that laughter is the best medicine, informed, entertained and up to date. have clearly not been on a motorcycle!

9) Visit dealerships and motorcycle related businesses, window shopping can be therapeutic, and you may score a deal too.

10) Don’t lose touch with your Biker Friends; this support group will “Best Value UK Motorcycle Rental” try to get you through these troubling times!

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THE RIDERS MAG ---- PAGE 29

Biker 101: The Life of Don

by Donny Petersen

pening! Flight or fight? I don’t know how to run. Attack those attacking! I quickly orient my fast moving brain. Then, the Two masked swat teams smash in my front door here in chanting refrain sinks in.

Whew! Its only the cops.

Toronto at dawn. Inside doors are kicked in and concussion They are not protecting me by screaming police. They are grenades fired, before the teams methodically enter each room. The cops slowly, but surely snake their way through protecting themselves so a guy like me won’t attack them if I mistakenly think it is a home invasion. Of course, attacking a the house.

You hear people say that raiding police do not announce swat team is not a good idea.

I’ll get back to the raid in a bit. who they are. But they do. Each team member screamed Three months before, I was best man at My Pal Dave’s “Police, Police, Police,” so that it could be heard above the wedding.

My Pal asked me to set up his wedding in a tropidin. Well,’ almost, as no amount of yelling supersedes the shattering noise of grenades, stomping boots, and breaking cal paradise. I chose Casa Marina Resort in Sosua, Dominican Republic (DR). doors.

Now, I need to go back a decade or three since I have a I rudely awake out of a dead sleep. Fuck, man; its haplong history with the wedding location that culminates in the raid.

The Assassination In the Dominican Republic, General Imbert is a national hero and very powerful. He was one of a group that assassinated the brutal Dominican dictator Rafael Trujillo in 1961.

The General and his cronies shot and killed the dictator and his bodyguard in a raging gunfight in an ambush on a dark road. Trujillo was on his way to his mistress’s house. I think this is a good argument for not cheating on your wife.

The General The General had an estate on the edge of town in Sosua, ONTARIO near Puerto Plata.

My friend, Arturo owned and operated a bed-and-breakDISCLAIMER NOTICE fast beside the estate. I was also a brief business partner in his Dominican house of ill repute but that is another story I PLEASE BE ADVISED THAT will get to. On the other side of the General’s sprawling propeffective April 11, 2014 erty was a big time Columbian drug dealer’s estate.

The Columbian’s estate was massive and overgrown with Bikers Rights Organization, Ontario tropical foliage. I never saw the mansion hidden behind.

Is in NO way affiliated with or It was not a place that one with half-a-brain went poking around. Everybody knew about him. Everybody talked about associated with Bro Erie Shores. him but no one ever saw him. The DEA (U.S. Drug EnforceBikers Rights Organization (B.R.O.), ment Agency) also knew about him.

The General flew in periodically by military helicopter to Ontario takes no responsibilty for and relax at his estate on the road to Little Beach. Little Beach will not be liable for any claims or was part of the Columbian’s estate.

The Tarantulas actions brought against Every night, Arturo and I would drink one of the best beers Bro Erie Shores. in the world called Presidente. It comes in quart bottles. Its richness and alcohol is evidenced by how it is cooled in dry ice. This is the coldest beer in the hottest place, a perfect mix.

We would start in the local bars and wind up on Arturo’s porch. The first time I looked up, I saw a huge Tarantula on the CLEARANCE SALE! 20-30% OFF STOREWIDE ceiling above me, I had to ask if they were poisonous. I knew they weren’t but asked RIDING GEAR SUPERSTORE GREAT SAVINGS anyway. I got used to these fierce lookJOE ROCKET, SPEED & STRENGTH. TEKNIC, TOUR MASTER ing five inch monsters. We would watch Motorcycle Jackets, Pants, Gloves, Helmets, Rain Suits them when we were by ourselves. We NELSON RIGGS, TALISMAN MOTORCYCLE LUGGAGE TANK BIBS, SADDLEBAGS, TOOLBAGS would never look up when other guests or my girlfriend of the day were there.

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THE RIDERS MAG ---- PAGE 30

Biker 101: The Life of Don

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One hot, sultry evening, two French Canadian girls rented a room. Some time, after entering, the girls began screaming in terror. One had laid on the bed. There was a Tarantula on their ceiling. Arturo and his wife tried consoling them. Nothing would work.

Arturo promised to spray their room and kill the massive but harmless spider.

He briefly sprayed the spider, which dropped immediately to the floor. Arturo’s wife swept it up and took the hapless but very dead spider away.

The girls insisted the room be completely sprayed. Arturo tried to explain the spray was very dangerous. The girls verged on hysteria. He dutifully sprayed their room. They wanted more. He resisted and then acquiesced. This went on until the girls calmed down a little. The heavy smell must have numbed them.

We left. Outside Arturo was concerned. “We shouldn’t sleep here tonight.”

“Why,” said I. “They kept insisting I use more spray. It is DDT. It is illegal in North America but not here. A little is bad. More is dangerous and what I sprayed is real bad. I opened their windows but they are afraid of bugs. They are sleeping in a toxic room with no fresh air.”

I said that I would still sleep in my room with my window open and the ceiling fan full blast. Arturo and his wife did the same.

I gave a parting word before going to my room that the escaping bugs would be visiting us. Arturo said, “Nothing in that room will survive long enough to leave.”

Arturo made lots of noise at first light to wake the girls for an unusually early breakfast. He was trying to reduce their exposure.

The girls were happy. They looked for bugs but only found dead ones.

One would have a difficult time these days finding any Tarantulas. Like most Caribbean, tourist spots, they have been eradicated.

Little Beach Presidente beer goes down easily and makes one feel great. However, the next morning is a different story. Arturo would get up at dawn and wake me. We would start the day by drinking some of the best Yoghurt I have ever had. We would buy it in 2-quart containers at the local deli-grocery.

Sosua was settled and inhabited by German Jews forced to leave Germany before the war’s outset. As a result, Sosua has delicious old country German deli-food.

Ships full of escaping Jews, plied the world’s oceans looking for a country to accept them. If you ever see the old Paul

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One boat arrived on the shores of the Dominican Republic asking for asylum. The President at the time said yes on one condition. The Jews had to settle the uninhabited north shore. They did so in the towns of Puerto Plata and Sosua.

After our Yoghurt, Arturo and I would jog down his dirt road, past the General’s estate and through a jungle trail on the Columbian’s estate property. The thick foliage suddenly opened up to an extraordinary, deserted sand beach. It was only 100 yards long or so, hemmed in by rocky outcrops of sharp black coral reef.

In those days, Little Beach was deserted. No one except locals knew about it. No one cared about it because there are coastal beaches everywhere. Besides, everyone went to the world famous Sosua Beach, which was on the other side of the formidable black coral reef outcrop to the left.

I forgot my hangover, grateful my jog was over. I was mesmerized by the beauty and solitude. Arturo ran into the surf.

I followed, getting swallowed by the tantalizing warm waves.

The hangover disappeared. The grogginess is replaced by the body and mind reawakening for another day.

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Arturo’s hacienda and climb onto our motorcycles. Arturo’s wife, a pretty blond from Toronto would become surly. She knew where Arturo was going. I didn’t. I soon found out but that is a story for another chapter.

Playing in the Traffic with the DEA and the General A year-or-so later, the word spread. The General now owned the Columbian drug lord’s estate.

“Oh yeah, what did he get it for?” asked Don the rube.

Free!

There is a time-honored, lack-of honor-way to acquire partnered-real estate and businesses in the DR. Plant your partner’s living quarters with some marijuana and rat him out.

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by Donny Petersen

Seems to work every time, Immediate arrest and deportation. If you want to add jail time, use cocaine for the frame job.

This is the best reason I know to have the local Commandant on a payroll. Protection insurance from those close to you. Friends can be dangerous, indeed!

The DR government is paranoid of any drug activity. The USA invaded the island at one time. Dominicans have felt the power. The USA also gives much-needed American dollar aid to the impoverished country. If the USA says jump, the DR jumps high.

In early morning darkness, the General’s men assaulted the Columbian’s estate. They killed some bodyguards and brutally subdued the dealer. The General delivered the hogtied Columbian to a waiting DEA transport plane that had flown in during the night for its solitary human cargo.

The Columbian was in a Miami court a few hours later.

He was on his way from a life of quiet luxury to life in prison.

“Playing in traffic” is cryptic street slang for the dangers of being a drug trafficker.

The next person’s turn for the General’s attention was Arturo.

Arturo was a stubborn and fun-loving fuck. I say “was” because my buddy died in a horrific bike accident with a young Mexican girlfriend on a Sunday Tequila run with the boys up the Pacific coast in Mexico.

Arturo moved from tropical paradise to tropical paradise every few years. If Arturo was good at one thing, it was wearing out his welcome.

This hurt me. It happened while I was on bail waiting for my trial. I had planned to move to Mexico to drink beer, write, and ride after the justice system tried its best to destroy me.

Arturo had a cliff side house overlooking the ocean in Mazatlan. If you layed in the swimming pool, all that was visible was the ocean in front and the mountains behind.

Half the house was mine. I lost that amongst many other material things during my persecution at the hands of the “good people” of the Canadian justice system. Most importantly, I did not lose my honor or pride!

Back in the DR: our Paradise For years, I would walk friends to Little Beach for a day of Presidente, swimming, sunbathing, or whatever on trips to Sosua. It was our little deserted paradise. The tourists on the neighboring Sosua Beach had no clue.

I only enjoyed two other activities as much in the DR that I will write about elsewhere. One was hard riding up Mount Isabella, drinking dry-iced Presidente at pit stops in mountain shack bars along the way. This is the highest mountain in the Caribbean.

My other passion was horseback riding through the foothills to jungle waterfalls. Then we would ride further where there were no roads into the outback of Voodoo religion.

If you think Voodoo is a joke or not real, travel here. There was a Haitian slave camp with Albino-black children. Dominicans were terrified of this place. I went there to drink beer.

Yeah, I know, slavery disappeared a long time ago. Have I got news for you.

No Loud Mufflers My bike had mufflers. Arturo’s did not. He loved straight pipes. We rode everywhere. No one cared about the straight pipes except the General. Arturo had wakened the General from a nap. He sent one of his men over to tell Arturo to keep his bike quiet.

THE RIDERS MAG ---- PAGE 33

Biker 101: The Life of Don

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Arturo defiantly replied, “Fuck him!”

I am also rebellious. However, I usually know when to settle down a bit.

He kept riding, producing the shattering crescendo of noise. Arturo made a point of riding past the General’s estate when it was easier to go the other way.

I went to the hacienda one day to see Arturo. He was nowhere to be found. His wife told me he was in the Puerto Plata jail. She kind of liked that. I knew by then that Arturo was romancing a young Dominican whore in his house of ill repute. So did his wife.

“What for?” I ask.

“He woke the General up again with his bike.”

“When is he getting out.”

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THE RIDERS MAG ---- PAGE 34

by Donny Petersen

“He is there until the General orders him released.”

“When is that?”

“No one knows.”

Jail Wow, I had seen the jail from the outside. I remember to this day, all the hands sticking out through the bars. Helpless, forgotten, rotting hands.

It gets worse. The jail does not feed anyone. If you do not have money or a relative bringing food, you starve.

With no cash or influence with powerful people on the outside, you may be there forever. There are no set sentences and people are forgotten.

The jail is filthy, overrun with vermin, rats… you name it.

There are no beds. Prisoners sleep on the floors in the dirt with rodents and bugs.

Those with money or power commandeer the few chairs.

These lucky ones sleep sitting up on one chair with their feet on the other. The rats run underneath.

It is brutally hot, it stinks, and it is a living hell.

I went to visit. I rode up on my bike. The jail entrance is on a pleasant square with a tiny park. Out front was a bunch of chairs filled with guards.

I heard that familiar voice, yell out, “Another round for my friends.” I could tell he was well on his way and having a good time. A street urchin ran into the crowd of happy guards to get the money for the beer. The kid then ran across the street to buy their beer.

I know its Arturo but cannot see him. He sees me and yells out.

I walk over. He is sitting in the middle, drinking with the guards. Arturo is laughing.

“What the fuck!”

He sees my expression and explains, “No money and you are screwed. Money gets you sitting in the sun, drinking beer, and ordering restaurant food.”

He wants to pay the guards so he can fuck his girlfriend!

I sit down and have a beer. I have never had a beer while visiting an inmate before.

“When are you getting out?” I ask.

“Whenever, the General says so.” says Arturo. “I have a lawyer friend with connections to the General. He says he can get me out after the General cools off.”

Art was released a few weeks later.

I think I prefer a loud noise ticket.

Arturo still rebelled by refusing to put mufflers on his bike.

However, he acquiesced a little by riding as quiet as possible when near the General’s estate next door. Arturo felt he was giving in too much and did not feel good about it.

Casa Marina Beach Resort The General does not live on the road to Little Beach anymore. He put his estate and the Columbian’s acquired estate together and sold out to an international hotel chain. Little beach has a resort name now. The hotel chain widened the beach somewhat and built the Casa Marina Beach Resort.

This formerly deserted beach strip is now occupied by hundreds of revelers every day.

Now, I return to the wedding party at the resort and its aftermath decades later.

A Rat Named Dave.

After the raid, I find out My Pal Dave is a rat.

The cops refer to My Pal as Buddy. I can tell they don’t like him by the way the name Buddy rolls off their lips. However, me and mine are bigger fish to fry than Buddy.

Biker 101: The Life of Don Buddy was busted. He turned on his only friends in the world for his charges to disappear, and a million dollars.

I had never met some of my 30-or-so co-accused until corralled together in the bullpen cell. Some were guilty, some not so guilty, some set up, and some not guilty. No matter!

Buddy had himself to think about… such is the nature of a trapped rat!

Eight years later, me and mine are healing but Judas has no more silver, no wife, and is relegated to a world where no one trusts or respects him.

For me and mine, we are badly bruised but feel good about ourselves. We pick ourselves up off the mat.

Back to the Raid I sleep naked.

Instinctively, I spread-eagled myself, face down on the floor. Why? If in bed, under the covers, they gotta get you out. They are none too gentle. Kicking boots, rifle butts to the head, tasering, all come to mind.

You must realize that some raiders may be more scared than the raidee. I have learned this over the years during the many clubhouse raids. There is nothing more dangerous than a scared cop with a weapon. More than once, I have had a young cop, shaking, as he held his gun on me.

I invariably, politely and calmly ask, “Excuse me, can I have an old guy take care of me?” The older cops know the game.

Unfortunately, swat teams are all young guys. This might explain why they didn’t use the key to my house that the rat gave them.

They kick, the open double doors of my bedroom, fire a grenade by my head, and handcuff my waiting hands. The floor smokes as it is seared by the grenade.

Whew! I am home alone.

I am grateful my dogs are not there. They are big. Surely, they would be killed.

I am grateful again when I realize my chick, had she been there would argue, and scream. A sure recipe for calming violence.

The big whew!

Once secured, a cop bends over and screams the charges in my hurting ear. I don’t understand much of it as the grenades affect the brain’s ability to process words. I do process drug dealing.

Everybody knows I don’t do that. I smiled.

Confused, the cop screaming in my ear swears in frustration.

The swat teams leave and a bunch of harness bulls (uniformed police) enter to guard me while the detectives start their routine. I sense the young uniformed guys like me or are at least fascinated with what is going on. They treat me well. Let me clarify, they treat me as well as can be expected in the circumstances.

They drive me to the processing station. The gates open into Fort Apache, the fortified police station parking lot and my car enters.

The cops were giving the Tamils a hard time a few years before. The Tamils don’t take shit. They began to retaliate, which is very un-Canadian. Hence the high fence and extra security and the new name.

I am handcuffed and splayed across the back seat. The driver rolls down the window. It is cold but there is a celebratory barbeque going on. All the cops are having a grand time at 6:30 in the morning. The cop in charge has a bullhorn. He announces,

by Donny Petersen

“Here he his, Donny Petersen. We finally got him. This guy has more money than all of us put together.” He hates me and respects me at the same time.

I don’t have a fucking clue what is going on but I know it is serious.

And the justice circus began!

Convict the innocent and let the guilty go free.

In our case, convict everyone, no matter innocence or guilt.

Donny Petersen Biker 101: The Life of Don www.donnypetersen.com

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378 BayStreet Beaverton 705-426-9464 THE RIDERS MAG ---- PAGE 35

Motorcyco Beau

So once again I find myself doing that thing of seeing the New year in and the old year out and yet always struggling between anticipating all the new adventures and people that await in the upcoming year and at the same time looking in my rear view mirrors on all that happened in the year we just said good-bye to because 2014 was a very eventful one and much like last year reminded me of that classic Clint Eastwood western, The Good, The Bad and The Ugly!

I started out the year by going on my annual pilgrimage to Toronto for the North American Motorcycle Show at the International Center and this time I was in the company of several of the brothers from TCB who also were looking forward to getting away on a road trip to attend an event that is comprised of a building filled with motorcycles of all types and models and even more enjoyable, the people who love to ride them. In keeping with tradition I once again was amazed at how you can start out a trip with a vehicle filled with grown men who are bearded and tattooed and somehow when you arrive at the show the van is now filled with teenagers who have covered just about every bad joke they know and everyone’s

THE RIDERS MAG ---- PAGE 36

tales from the Far East.... of Ontario that is!

cheeks are aching from all the laughter during the trip and in the end we all had a fantastic time. I want to remind all of you that great times are made so don’t just sit around waiting for them to happen.

For me one of the truly great highlights of 2014 was The Riders Mag’s participation in the 5th Ottawa International Motorcycle Show and where I had a chance to let more of Eastern Ontario’s motorcycle community know more about the events, the rides and some of the groups and great people that make it what it is. This year’s show saw a visit from two of the actors from the hit television series Sons of Anarchy who spent both days at the show signing autographs and posing for pictures with loyal fans. Their presence was a huge hit with the show’s customers and Tommy Flanagan aka “Chibbs” will be returning for the 2015 show along with Mark Boone Jr. who plays “Bobby” in the series. I suspect there will be just as many or more fans of the show looking for autographs & pics.

During the show a number of my brothers helped by chatting with the public and handing out the most recent issue of the Mag. I had special t-shirts made up for them and in a very short time they all became known as the Mag’s “Paper Boyz!” and they had a great time promoting the Mag while charming the show’s crowd. They did me proud and we look forward to seeing everyone at the 6th Annual Ottawa International Motorcycle show so please stop by and say hello!

Once again I went to the Montreal Motorcycle Show and once again I found it to be not much more than a walk through although unlike previous years they turned up the lights inside the salons and I have to admit that it made the crowd a lot more active but I wish that more independent motorcycle businesses and builders would be approached about participating in the show because like most of the industry shows aside from looking at new models there isn’t really anything to see.

Like I said earlier living in the eastern townships can be stressful when it comes to the weather and the length of our winters and we all know that 2014 was a monster for all of us, way too long and way too white and for damn sure way too cold. When Chuck and I went down to the 33rd National Motorcycle & Tattoo Show to help out all our colleagues at The Riders Mag booth it was unnecessary to ask us twice because while people could ride their bikes to this show we were still covered in white and freezing our

Motorcyco Beau

tales from the Far East.... of Ontario that is!

chaps off and we marveled at how as we drove down the snow began to disappear on the landscape and the Harley BSA Norton Triumph closer we got to Toronto the more our road conversation became dotted with “Look! Another bike on the road!”. The National this year was a big time improvement over the year before. The number of custom 12 Carrying Place Road, Trenton, Ont. K8V 3E7 motorcycles was good to see, bikes that someone had truly put some of their personal creativity into building and (613) 392-8433 brought me back to the days of Ed “Big Daddy” Roth and his www.makeitroar.com influence on custom motorcycle & car builders. We had an awesome time and look forward to the 34th Annual show in South Keys Plaza in Ottawa’s south end. The event is hosted the upcoming year. Two things stuck out in my thoughts on by The Celtic Brotherhood in support for their Traumatic the way back to Ottawa; 1. was that I remember Bette and I Brain Injury & PTSD Awareness projects and a similar doing the very first show and 2.; for years after and that as event is held in early September. The folks at this Denny’s we headed home the landscape returned to cold and snowy. have made it possible over the years for the TCB to acquire In the Ottawa area the one event that always signals that things they use in their awareness efforts such as special riding season has returned is the Capital City Bikers Church goggles that simulate what the effects of a head concussion Swap Meet held at their location on Carillon St. in the Vanier might be like and this summer they were very helpful in area of Ottawa’s east end. Aside from being the successful The Celtic Brotherhood acquiring it’s first AED (portable event that it always is the only change they made for 2014 heart defibrillator) to be present at any events or rides they was that they had a door charge of $2.00 in order to provide participate in over a season. Businesses that support events more prizes and events at the show and when you consider or rides and especially support the motorcycle community that the swap tables are for free, you can well understand deserve to be singled out for their participation and I will why the CCBC is held in such respect in the Ottawa area. continue to bring to your attention any business that makes One of the damndest things about riding in eastern that extra effort to do so.

Canada is that we wait for summer to finally arrive and then Also in the month of May was the start of the Wednesday we find ourselves trying to fit in as many rides and events Motorcycle Cruise Night held on the grounds of the Rideau as we possibly can and I always find myself riding around in Carleton Raceway & circles trying to decide which motorcycle event I am going to Casino. Over the years the head out to and take part in each weekend and I have decided event was run by a local car in the last few years to give priority to those events that care club with a small area for enough to advertise in the Mag because they care enough motorcycles hosted by the to support our being there for the motorcycle community Mag and TCB. This year the at large or sometimes I head out and try and support some motorcycles were allowed new ride that I get the feeling will show support for the other to have a lot all on their events as it grows. own and thanks to support Some of the events that I had the pleasure to attend this from businesses like B.A summer of 2014 were the 3rd Annual 2804 Mission Dice Machine Performance New Moon Run that takes place in the town of Casselman, just east Cycles, of Ottawa and in support of their community’s air cadet group. Unlike the year previous the weather B.A.K. ORIGINAL MOBILE MEMORIALS gods were kind to the event and the turnout was The ORIGINAL compact Handlebar Mounted Motorcycle freaking awesome. The riders just kept coming in Memorial Urn for your loved ones or pets ashes. and there were so many that they sent them out in staggered groups. The folks that put this event on High grade Anodized Aluminum construction with truly work hard to make it happen and it was very silicone seal and Stainless Steel mounting Allen bolt satisfying to see the response they got this year and all of $64.95 each, Shipping and the approximately 400 riders applicable taxes extra of whom many were from Ships Worldwide Quebec and the Cornwall area and even a few riders from $5.00 from each sale donated to west of Ottawa.

PTSD / Service Dog Organizations On that same day I had to E-Mail: b.a.k.originalmm@gmail.com head back to Ottawa to attend the Spring Custom Motorcycle www.originalmobilememorials.com & Car Event held at the Denny’s Restaurant in the RIDE ON

THE RIDERS MAG ---- PAGE 37

Motorcyco Beau Tattoo Studios and Zelikovitz Leathers who cared enough to help get this event up and running and participated in the special “Forever 2 Wheels” cruise night T-shirts that were given out as prizes the Dyno Machine Shop throughout summer.

Welding Flowbench This past year Performance Parts saw the beginning Precision Rebuilds of Moncion’s The Ride for Her, COME SEE OUR Annual which is devoted to NEW LOCATION the cause of ovarian NOW OPEN! cancer research 7174 Bank Street, and the brainchild Metcalfe, ON K0A 2P0 of a young woman Cheryl (613) 821-9090 named Ozun. Because my Tim & Peri older sister, Eileen www.bamachine.ca is a “survivor” and considering there are so many rides already for prostate and breast cancer it was a pleasure to offer support from the Mag and the TCB. It is my sincerest hope that in 2015 many more area riders and I mean men as well as women who ride will take part in this event and help

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THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 38

tales from the Far East.... of Ontario that is!

to bring awareness and one day a cure for ovarian cancer. At the same time I would like to mention how much I appreciate the efforts and support from Marcel & Linda Moncion, owners of Moncion’s Independent Grocer on River Rd, both of whom are Harley riders and major sponsors of the Ride for Her. They are also the main sponsors of the Merrickville Motorcycle Show. Thanks to their sponsorship, both events will continue on in 2015 and once again that brings me to where I ask all area riders to use the power of their dollars to show our appreciation to any businesses that help make it possible for rides like these to happen.

There were a large number of rides and events that I was lucky enough to attend such as the 2nd Annual Ride for Autism and where once again the Mayor of Ottawa was kind enough to attend and show his support for the cause and to Dave & Noella Kuhnle, who are the organizers for this event and all the people who helped to make this ride happen.

Another event that I head out to every year was Big Daddy’s Cowpaddy and as usual, Susie & Greg Kinghorn and all the Big Daddy’s crew did a great job of providing a weekend of fun and good times and as is now a tradition. The rodeo was handled by Hillbilly and all the Bikers Church crowd and it didn’t fail at keeping all the spectators entertained with all the antics of the participants. So much thanks to the CCBC. Another of my stops this summer was the 2nd Annual Ride for Hope held in Embrun just east of Ottawa and organized by good friends Tom Allain and Nathalie Lacasse, both of whom are strong supporters of B.A.C.A. (Bikers Against Child Abuse) and this year’s ride was to help out a very young girl with numerous health issues.

Once again I was pleased to see so many riders but I hope to see this ride get much bigger in the New Year.

In early September the Annual Fall Motorcycle and Car Event at Denny’s in the South Keys Plaza took place and the turnout was awesome because the weather was co-operative. There were riders coming and going all afternoon and a large turnout of custom cars also came to participate. One of the big hits of the afternoon that the TCB hosted was their “Busted Bucket Challenge” where riders took part by wearing those special goggles designed to re-create what effects a head concussion might be like and then they tried to navigate a course of pylons while riding a adult tricycle. The vision of bearded tattooed motorcycle riders wearing goggles and struggling to maneuver the course provided lots of laughs while making the point of how serious concussion or any kind of head trauma can be.

One of the last events of the Summer I had the pleasure of attending was the Snake River

Motorcyco Beau Rodeo put on by a great club called the Simple Men MC and it was held up between Cobden and Pembroke While it was an overcast sort of day it was a helluva a great time.

Sean Guest, Duane Chevalier and the rest of the crew made everyone who attended feel welcome and the food was top notch. Kudos to the Simple Men

tales from the Far East.... of Ontario that is!

MC for a good time and I look forward to seeing them in 2015.

This past year we lost a number of riders in the Eastern Ontario motorcycle community and I attend the Ottawa show, please stop by and say Hello! .. would like to mention As always I remind you, if you know of an event of a two of them because business that deals with motorcycle riders and might like to I not only knew these advertise or carry The Riders Mag, please contact me and men for decades but they were part of the crazy, crazy days of motorcycles and also you can follow me on twitter as well..but please keep in clubs back in the 60’s. Each in mind I am a newbie on Twitter.

Email: theridersmag.beau@gmail.com their own way were legends Twitter: The Riders Mag East...https:// in the Ottawa area biker community. Laurie “Wheeler” twitter.com/Motorcyco_Beau Instagram: the_riders_mag_east Eastman & Eddie “Eggroll” DoyRead The Riders Mag Online: http:// Yat passed away late this season and while they will be missed I theridersmag.com/online/ And as always I want to leave you with this was reminded about the great biker history in the Ottawa area reminder for all of you to follow...

We Make Our Motorcycle Communities that I am pleased to have been part of it for over 50 years. You Stronger!... By Making Them Better!... would think that people would Ride Safe! Ride Proud! ...Motorcyco Beau! . be solemn and subdued but in the world of those who love twowheels the usual rule of thumb is that it is all about celebrating a Thorold, Ontario L0S 1A0 2065 Allanport Road life lived instead of a life lost. In both cases this was what took place, with people all “On-Site Downdraft Paint Booth” gathering to tell their favorite story about men who lived their lives and lived them “Custom Paint” fully. Trust me Laurie & Eddie did just that “Licensed Bodyman for all and reminded me of that famous quote by Hunter S Thompson.. “Life should not be Body and Frame Customization” a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well Mechanical Shop Rate $68/hr, Body Shop Rate $58/hr preserved body, but rather to skid in a broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly Phone: (905) 227-8453 Fax: (905) 227-8555 used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming “Wow! What A Ride!” . niagarachoppers@yahoo.com Anyhow I look forward to seeing lots of old friends in the New Year and making lots Open Monday - Friday 9 a.m. - 5 p.m. of new ones and if you happen to make it to any of the Toronto motorcycle shows or

NIAGARA NC CHOPPERS

www.niagarachoppers.com THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 39

Harley Apprenticeship

This month’s feature guy is Danny from Toronto and he answered my call for sportsters and he and his girl Rosie got together with us to do a shoot last fall out in front of the family business on Danforth Ave in Toronto on a Friday afternoon, this is his story.

Danny says he is about half way through his apprenticeship as a machinist, he says that since high school he had tried his hand at a variety of jobs including working part time at the family business, attending various events as a vendor selling a range of hats, lights posters, collectables at both biker related events as well as flea markets and says that if he could have made enough dough to make it a full time gig that he would have been quite happy to pursue that. Danny said a weekend event brought him more than a few day’s wages but not enough to live on and there were not events on a weekly basis so he knew that despite enjoying vending it was not going to be a reliable

THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 40

career.

He had a van all outfitted for travel and he used this in his brief career and also used it to travel to the family property up north where he spent as much time as he could in the summer. There he got to ride his first motorcycle, which was an endure style bike and coming from a motorcycling family this was an ideal start to motorcycling for him. Of course he was searching for full time employment to cover his living expenses.

When his father told him that there would not be sufficient work to put him on in the business as a full time employee, Danny spent some time reflecting on what he wanted to do where he was going and most importantly how he was going to get there. He had upgraded to a late 90’s full size GMC Jimmy truck and he felt like he was pouring every

Harley Apprenticeship

penny he was getting into the gas tank. He knew that if he wanted to keep the truck and get a motorcycle he was gonna need a real career not just a job.

He was fortunate that a local machine shop took him on as an apprentice, saying that the shop was close enough to the family business that he could walk over and have lunch with his father every day. Of course home was close as well and the business had been in the family for many decades and 3 generations at this point so Danny was able to find himself something that he felt might be more permanent and stable while still staying in his home neighborhood in Scarborough.

He says that it’s tough some days I feel like they own me but I know that when I’m finished I will be good to go. His work week includes spending one day a week at a local college.

Around the time he decided to make the commitment to a career he purchased this beautiful 2012 1200 Sportster from a local Harley dealer east of Toronto saying that he custom ordered the bike with the mini apes, forward controls and the 16” wheels. I have never seen a sportster that comes factory with 16’s but then I have not been into the shops in a few years now and generally when I do I am checking-out the touring bikes myself being old, fat and addicted to the couch.

Danny says that both his parents are riders Dad has a Big Ultra Classic and Mom rides a 90ish Dyna, so him getting onto a Harley was a natural and he says the first two years he had the bike he rode every weekend and put on better than twelve thousands kms per summer. He did a lot of riding with his local P.D.R.’s attending events throughout southern Ontario, northern Ontario, and says that about 2 months after he got his sporty he took a ride with Dad down to Moncton NB. They rode all the way to Edmondson the first

day from Toronto then had a 4 hour ride into Moncton the following morning.

If that wasn’t enough of a ride for ya he says they partied it up pretty good down in Moncton for the night and says Dad hauled him up at 8am and said get your cold (continental breakfast into you we’re riding) and says once he choked down some cereal, toast and coffee they rode. Not fast like he was with the young guys on the Friday but steady with Dad. “It took us 16 hours of straight riding stopping only for gas to get back to Toronto but we rolled in by midnight on Sunday.” Now I can’t speak for anyone else but to me that’s an iron butt ride, 16 hours, I do know that some others did what was considered an impressive ride riding from Windsor to the Quebec border and back in one day which is about the same as Moncton to Toronto give or take an hour or so.

Well Danny racked up a pretty respectable riding record saying that in addition to the Moncton ride he also participated in rides to Sudbury, Niagara falls, Hamilton, Port Dover, and on other weekends he hooked up with some of his local riding buddies or groups of bikes heading out from local coffee shops and rode to wherever they were going just

for the joy of riding. He says that he got rid of the gas guzzling GMC Jimmy and figures in the 3 years he’s owned the bike he has saved a fortune in gas.

He picked up that rear backrest on eBay and the round duffle came from our good friends at Doc’s Leather and Harley Gear on Queen Street in Toronto. He also added the windshield and says other than some place to hold his and Rosie’s Coffee on the bike he really doesn’t want to upgrade his bike much more as he’s already thinking about a touring bike.

Danny says there’s two reasons, first and foremost he loves riding and wants and expects to travel more once he gets his machinists papers and finds himself a good paying gig someplace out west and also because he says his Moms bike is bigger than his and she doesn’t let him forget it. He says his sporty is missing baggage and tunes and the comfort he feels his gal should have, although she doesn’t complain about riding on his sporty.

I hope that when he accomplishes his career goals and gets himself a big touring bike he gives us a call and we can run an article on his new ride and maybe his gals as well right? You never know.

THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 41

Bikers Church

Harley Apprenticeship Owner: Danny McGale City: Toronto-Cliffside

PAINTING Molding: none GENERAL Painter: stock Fabrication by: H-D Type: stock Year & Make: 2012 Harley Colour: black Custom XL Special Paint: none Model: Sportster Value: $12,000 all in FRAME/SUSPENSION Assembly by: factory H-D Year: 2012 Builder: HD ENGINE Year: 2012 ACCESSORIES Model: 1200 Bars: Mini Apes Builder: factory Fairing: Windshield Displacement: 1200cc Turn Signals: One Side Only Lower End: stock Foot Controls:forward Balancing: stock Flywheels: stock FRONT END Rods: stock FORKS Cylinders: stock Special Features: Custom Pistons: stock Sissy Bar w/Bag Cases: stock Heads: stock WHEELS & FENDERS Cam(s): stock Lifters: stock FRONT Carb: stock Size: 16” 150/80 Valves: stock Type: Spoked Rim TRANSMISSION Year: 2012 Modifications: none Shifting: foot Engine Sprocket: stock

REAR Size: 16” 150/80 Type: Spoked Rim Model: Rosie

THE RIDERS MAG ---- PAGE 42

2015 A year of blessings coming forward, a year of meeting our needs as Bikers Church Grows and moves forward.

But when we look at it next December we will be amazed how he did just that. I have been following an old friends travels this past summer as I am sure many of you have. As Donnie Peterson writes his articles its amazing the places he has been, many place I have not even heard of. Donnie have a great time in Thailand.

This past fall has been a trying time, broke my leg raking leaves but it will be ready to look after the brake next spring.

Yes I am getting ready for spring aren’t you as its only 14 weeks away. I know God will heal my leg and have ready for another great riding season. I am always surprised how he does it. Just the other day god met my need and I am reminded constantly of our great friends. Each day I look forward to my devotion time with the Holy Spirit.

As I slept just last night he talked and shared “Tell my people that it’s time for their greatest victories and to begin expecting the unexpected. “ This to me means that your greatest victories are coming when you dare to expect the unexpected. In Matthew 14, the disciples are in the boat heading to the other side of the lake, early in the morning. As they peered at the distant shore they were amazed as Jesus came to them walking on the water. One disciple was bold enough to expect the unexpected. Peter said, if it is you, let me come to you on the water. Have you ever tried to walk on water, and I don’t mean a puddle but like out in a lake; but Peter mixed his faith with Jesus’ Word COME! Peter was out on the water. Everything was good he was walking on the water, but the moment he was distracted, Peter was unsuccessful, he began to sink. Here is the point, if you are going to experience a great victory you need to keep your faith strong and continue to expect the unexpected.

Do you remember what God said through the Prophet Isaiah. He said,” For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways ,”declares the Lord, “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” (Isaiah 55:8-9) In Matthew 17, Jesus and the disciples need money to pay the taxes and when Peter asked Jesus what they should do, Jesus told him to go fishing. If you are familiar with the story the first fish had money in its mouth, enough money to cover the needed cash. I am sure neither gave that idea as a means of paying the taxes.

Gods ways are higher and different ways than ours. They are far advanced and superior than anything we would think of. Expecting the unexpected means not putting God in a box and limiting him to work the way you want.

Paul talked about Gods’ way of ministering to people and referred to them as “Diversities of operations” 1 Corinthians 12:6 The point is this: don’t limit God, let Him do it any way he wants to. The beautiful part is that you don’t really have to understand how he can do this – your part is to just believe He can and will. After all, didn’t Jesus say just that” All things are possible to them that believe” Mark 9:23 (Start expecting the unexpected) Don’t limit God or put him in a box by only expecting to bring a break though the way you think He should. Ephesians 3:20 says “God is able to do exceeding, abundantly above all we ask or think.” Activate your faith today and expect God to surprise you by doing the unexpected!

Sticker

The last two months have been filled with snow and blowy weather but I did get a few more small adventures in before Old Man Winter threw a wrench into things!

The morning of the Lake Huron Steel Horse Riders Thanksgiving Food Drive was a cold rainy start so I took the van as the forecast wasn’t promising. It did clear up some once I got closer to Kincardine so by about 10am I was wishing I was riding!

A handful of bikes were there when I first arrived but soon they began to multiply and there was quite a healthy showing for such a chilly day.

Smiley pulled in with his radical evo and next thing you know he threw me the keys and I was off for a ride trying to reach the apehangers and find the footpegs! That was too much fun! Had me giggling like a schoolgirl, oh how I miss that old evo of mine (Rosebud)!

Once we reached Zehrs there were more bikes and people coming and going for hours donating everything from toilet paper to pet food. Zehrs Goderich matched donations for a total of nearly $3,000. Quite fantastic for a one day event!

There was one more movie night at Smileys before the shop filled up with bikes in storage. The final movie night featured “The World’s Fastest Indian” with Anthony Hopkins. What a story! I was twisting the throttle and shifting gears while sitting in my chair, good thing it was dark, likely looked kinda strange! Another great movie with great food and great people and even

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The next day was a nice one so I jumped on the King and rode to the Elora Gorge to see the fall colors and go for a stroll by the Gorge. Little did I know this would be my last decent ride this season, there were a few more short rides but that was the last day trip for me! While in Elora at Timmies I started chatting with a couple who had been to North Carolina and ridden the Tail of the Dragon, one of my more intimate motorcycle fantasies. They told me tales of the dragon and other riding routes in the area, enough to convince me to put North Carolina on my bucket list, it’s a very long list.

Next thing you know, both my bikes left in a Biker, Formal and Non-Formal Weddings trailer and I was left with an empty garage. The Childrens Dedications & Baptisms King needed a clutch cable and a tranny seal and Rosebud finally went in with hopes of being roadFuneral and Committal Services worthy for spring. Beware, the blue streak may be Contact: Rev. Dave Neals back soon - we’ll be dipping and diving through the corners once again! Can’t wait to get my boyfriend back, not that I don’t love my husband but my boyfriend has character! Meanwhile there are david.neals@nexicom.net

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pieces of Rosebud in the living room to keep me warm this winter and the King is back in the garage and ready for spring.

One snowy day I was a bit bummed out and dreaming of better weather when suddenly I got a phone call from Shelley who I met at Big Balls a few years ago.

This one phone call really made a cold November night all warm and fuzzy, thanks Shelley! It turns out that Big Balls Dice Run in Aylmer, one of my favorites, raised $31,000 in 2014 to London Downs Syndrome Association! Great work once again!

To help us all through the winter I have devised a plan. I am going to come with random ideas to add to the Biker’s Survival Guide to Winter in hopes to make a large enough volume to take up a winter. Here’s a start:

Biker’s Survival Guide to Winter:

1. Read new and old issues of The Riders Mag and other gnarly biker mags.

2. Keep the bike close and start it often. It’s better for both you and your bike.

3. Get back in touch with old friends; phone someone you haven’t seen for a while.

4. Work on bike projects, talk about bike projects, text about bike projects, and dream about bike projects.

5. Steal a donut truck and go for a high speed police chase.

6. Go to any and all bike events you can possibly afford.

7. Date online (just don’t take it too seriously).

8. Visit people on your Facebook page you’ve never met before - it’s fun!

9. Feeling down? Change your birthday on Facebook.

10. Put the bike(s) in a trailer and go south until Spring!

Wishing you all a Merry Christmas and a Safe and Happy New Year!

Take care of one another!

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Betty Mazda…..

Betty was one of the great ladies of the famous, Smoke Out that was attended yearly by so many in our Biker community. It was the event of the year.

Miss Betty and Stan Mazda were the heart and soul of everywhere they went. Either here in Canada or in Jamaica. Their love of the Smoke Out showed in the voice of Stan as he sang to everyone. Stan had the gift of making bikers dance for hours. This great couple eluded the spirit of the motorcycle community with their constant support of numerous events.To see Stan, you saw Miss Betty…

We were entertained with the finest live music and had the opportunity to sample the most delicious food for a BBQ. AS you stood in line, motorcycles rode by searching for a spot in this famous Western Town.

Miss Betty worked hard at these yearly events raising money for Breast Cancer walking around encouraging everyone to empty their pockets in support. Miss Betty gave..

This Phenomenal Lady was a true Biker Chick. Betty took on the role of Assistant Director of Central Ontario Chrome Divas for years. She was at every bike show working tirelessly for charity.

Every event was special to her..Every person was special to her.

She enjoyed her rides..she enjoyed her life..

Miss Betty leaves behind her best buddy, Stan, Mom..daughter Janice, three granddaughters and friends that are too many to mention.

Good-bye Miss Betty…so many great memories….Danni

THE RIDERS MAG ---- PAGE 44

Joke

Ah! Canada! Canada I know! So why you tell me you come from Quebec?

Because, my first country is Quebec!

Oh, you were born in Quebec and immigrated to Canada...

No, no, I was born in Quebec and I stayed in Quebec...

Oh, then your father is from Canada?

No, no, my father, my mother, my wife, my dog, everybody, they come from Quebec...

So why you say Canada ?

For Christ sake, because you say you don’t know where is Quebec!

OK, but if you say you not know Norway, I not say that my country is Japan...

Shit! Canada isn’t Japan. Canada, it’s my country.

Oh, your country not Quebec anymore?

My country is Quebec. But my country, it can be Canada too, if the person I’m speaking to not know where is Quebec, Tabarnak!

I don’t understand...

Look, it’s simple: I come from the Province of Quebec, in the country of Canada.

Ok! But I didn’t ask you what Province you’re from, I ask you what Country you’re from. Me, I come from Lofoten region in Norway, but I answer you Norway when you ask me what country I come from...

I know, I’m not stupid, Calisse! But me, when they ask me what country I come from, I answer Quebec. Even if it’s the name of my Province. For me, it’s my Country.

Oh, now I understand. You are a separatist, you want your Quebec province to be your country.

Are you crazy, Hostie? I don’t want to know nothing from that shit!

I do not understand anything anymore.

I tell you before, it’s simple! You ask me what country I come from, I answered Quebec because Quebec is my country, but I don’t really want it to be my country, it would be too much trouble.

I just want to say it. So, why don’t you just let me say it?

I’m all mixed up. You have passport from what country: Quebec or Canada?

CANADA, Hostie!

So why you not tell me Canada right away?

Because it don’t feel right. For me, Canada is Anne Murray, the Calgary Stampede, the Mounted Police, SARS, it’s not my home all that. Home, it’s La Famille Plouffe, Seraphin Poudrier, La P’tite Vie, Felix Leclerc, La Poune, Les Canadiens de Montreal, Les Bougons... Do you understand???

Less and less...

Listen, forget all that shit. Ask me another question.

Ok, what town you come from?

Page

Mmm..., I don’t know anymore...

You not know what town you come from?

Yes, yes, I know what town I come from, but my town it merged with another town, but soon it is going to demerge from the town that was supposed to be my town...

Oh, that very complicated! When you write your address, what do you write?

I don’t know anymore. Before, I used to write Hull, but Hull changed to Gatineau, but they tell us to wait 3 years before stopping to write Hull to not mix up the mailman. But now, the Liberals they pass a law that make it ok for Gatineau to be Hull again, but I don’t know if we have to wait 3 years to be able to write Hull, or when the 3 years are passed, if we have to write Gatineau for 3 years, and after we write Hull. Unless, of course, the PQ come back in power and we remerge with Gatineau, then we’ll have to write Gatineau

THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 45

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I’ll leave now; I my head hurts...

It’s so simple Tabarnak: My town is Hull , my country is Quebec. But if you prefer, my town is Gatineau and my country is Canada.

OK, I think I understand!

It’s about time. Anyway, it was fun talking to you, if you come around where I live; maybe you come and see me...

OK, but where? Hull in Quebec or Gatineau in Canada?

You’re a pain in the ass! Forget the whole thing!

That, my friends, is the most accurate portrait of Quebec that you will ever get!

I recently spent $6,500 on a young registered Black Angus bull. I put him out with the herd but he just ate grass and wouldn’t even look at a cow.

I was beginning to think I had paid more for that bull than he was worth.

Anyhow, I had the vet come and have a look at him. He said the bull was very healthy, but possibly just a little young, so he gave me some pills to feed him once per day.

The bull started to service the cows within two days, all my cows! He even broke through the fence and bred with all of my neighbor’s cows! He’s like a machine!

I don’t know what was in the pills the vet gave him......... but they kindf taste like peppermint.

Page An old man (about my age) sitting on his front porch down in Louisiana, watching the sun rise, sees the neighbor’s kid walk by carrying something big under his arm.

He yells out “Hey boy, what’cha got there?”

Boy yells back “Roll of chicken wire.”

Old man says “What you gonna do with that?”

Boy says “Catch me some chickens.”

Old man yells “You damn fool, you can’t catch chickens with chicken wire!”

Boy just laughs and keeps walking.

That evening at sunset the boy comes walking by and to the old man’s surprise he is dragging behind him the chicken wire with about 30 chickens caught in it.

Same time next morning the old man is out watching the sun rise and he sees the boy walk by carrying something kind of round in his hand.

Old man yells out “Hey boy, whatcha got there?”

Boy yells back “Roll of duck tape.”

Old man says “What you gonna do with that?”

Boy says back “Catch me some ducks.”

Old man yells back, “You damn fool, you can’t catch ducks with duck tape!”

Boy just laughs and keeps walking.

That night around sunset the boy walks by coming home and to the old man’s amazement he is trailing behind him the unrolled roll of duck tape with about 35 ducks caught in it.

Same time next morning the old man sees the boy walking by carrying what looks like a long reed with something fuzzy on the end.

Old man says “Hey boy, what’cha got there?”

Boy says “It’s a pussy willow.”

Old man says “Hold on, I’ll get my hat.”

A married man is having an affair with his secretary.

One day they went to her place and made love all afternoon.

Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM. The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt.

He put on his shoes and drove home.

‘Where have you been?’ his wife demanded.

‘I can’t lie to you,’ he replied, ‘I’m having an affair with my secretary.

We had sex all afternoon.’

She looked down at his shoes and said: ‘You lying bastard!

You’ve been playing golf!’

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Wheatley, 519-825-4222 THE RIDERS MAG ----- PAGE 46

The 2nd Affair A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son.

They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.

The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy.

The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son.

He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen.

He told his wife: ‘There’s no way

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