The Rezzadent - December 2022

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About Us

The Rezzadent is a community publication that was created during one of Melbourne’s many lockdowns in 2021 and has continued since. Run completely by volunteers, we focus on light-hearted and positive stories that celebrate and embrace our neighbourhood and its delights and oddities.

By Nicole Robertson

Acknowledgement is not enough but still important

The Rezzadent was made on stolen land in Reservoir, Victoria. We would like to acknowledge the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation who are the traditional custodians of this beautiful land. For many of us, our local creeks, trees, and our lake have been such a comforting balm to the soul during these chaotic times.

We would also like to pay respect to the Wurundjeri Elders, past and present, and extend this respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait people from other communities who may be reading this.

It always was, and always will be, Aboriginal land.

Contact us: rezzadentnews@gmail.com

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With a huge thanks to our volunteer contributors:

Editor-in-Chief

Shannon McKeogh

Deputy editor

Viktoria Komornik

Making things beautiful/Designer: Delyse Baldwin

Our clever illustrator: Nicole Robertson

Our Snazzy Photographer: Julie Atkinson

We love our Marketing guru: Vinisha Pulikkaparambil

Our big brained writers: Viktoria Komornik

Nicole Robertson

Carmen Lahiff-Jenkins

Beans

Mitch Kuhn

With massive thanks to our proofers and their eagle eyes for this issue: Jenny Brown Hayley Culley

EDITOR'S NOTE

Words by Shannon McKeogh

I’m not a fan of editor’s notes at the front of magazines. Mostly because they’re actually quite boring, and mostly a chance for the editor to feel high and mighty. Nobody cares about what you’re reading this month Anna Wintour!*

So I’ll keep this short and sweet. This year this small little publication turned ONE! A mighty big effort from a team of dedicated volunteer contributors, and a big thank you to our readers out there. We think you’re great! This month we finally launched our Facebook page, so you can find us on there under ‘The Rezzadent.’ Comments remain closed in order to save our sanity from being trolled, but remember you can always contact us directly at rezzadentnews@ gmail.com .

This issue is number 12th and the last for the year. But don’t worry we’ll be back in February! In the meantime we’ll keep sharing stuff willy-nilly on Instagram, and now on Facebook.

Take care and take it easy during the upcoming silly season!

Shannon

*But in case you ARE curious of what I’ve been reading, I’ve just finished reading The Five: The Untold Lives of the women killed by Jack the Ripper by Hallie Rubenhold. It’s very good! Thanks Thomastown Library!

MEETING GED KEARNEY

“PEOPLE OFTEN JUST WANT TO BE HEARD”

What makes our local federal member Ged Kearney tick? And what does she have on the cards for our eclectic suburb? Mitch Kuhn investigates.

Having spent so long looking from the outside at the political machine, the human side of our representatives is often lost to the point scoring, tactical warfare and chicanery that goes on, at all levels of government.

Sitting down and actually getting to chat to a politician on the other hand? It’s kind of refreshing.

“I'm really driven by social justice, that's pretty much what drives me, from a human rights perspective...so in doing that, I spend a lot of time listening, I really love that,” Ms Kearney said.

A few months back Ged Kearney was re-elected for a second term for Cooper, confirming that she remains locally prolific and also popular.

In previous lives Ms. Kearney was a registered nurse and then nursing director, health educator, union official representing the nursing collective and then onto the role of president of the ACTU.

After eight years and countless efforts to better the rights of her members, her move into federal politics was hardly a surprise, being sought out to run for the electorate of Cooper by the Labor Party.

But I wanted to look beyond just her CV, and understand Ms. Kearney as a person. I want to know what she brings to the public sphere, such as her guiding philosophy, passions and also how she balances the community's desires with her own set of ethics.

“My modus operandi is to be one-on-one, as close as I possibly can [be] to people. I'm not driven by economics, really.

“They're important, don't get me wrong, but there's other people in the party who are driven more about that sort of stuff. I feel my job is to bring that social justice and human rights perspective.”

As a federal member, Ged’s job is to represent the people of Reservoir and advocate for their needs.

But she admits that she believes our suburbs does get the rough end of the stick compared to others in Cooper.

“I get involved with the local council because I think Rezza is a bit forgotten when it comes to the council.

“They seem to be very focused on Preston...in the northern part of the electorate, they could use, maybe, another library, a little bit more

infrastructure, ” she said.

It appears to this writer that we're a town on the rise and Ged also agrees, and that it’s a balancing act for development.

“I think [Reservoir] is changing, I think the demographics are getting younger. A lot of houses are being pulled down, being replaced with dual occupancy, higher density living which is distressing for some people.

“But also housing affordability, living close to a train line and close to the city, trying to maintain the character of the area, it's a hard balance to get right,” Ms Kearney said.

But character is not something Reservoir is short of, with Ged mentioning how shopping strips, and shopfronts, which died out for decades are now making a return as cafes, bakeries and breweries.

Rounding back to press a little more into the nature of Ms. Kearney's relationship with her constituency, we talked about the specific ways in which she participates and engages with her electorate. A lover of sport, and having raised four sporty kids, Ged’s involvement in local sports is second nature to her.

“I'm really passionate about sport, and developing sporting facilities but sporting facilities that can be shared, as open space with the local residents as well,” she said.

Even the Keon Park Boxing Gym gets a mention. The gym is under threat due to the level crossing removal project. Without getting into the specifics (of which Ms. Kearney knew many) it is certain that they will need a new home before too long.

Ged is also involved in the creation of an artists collective which provided some funding for local artists, and regularly meets up with multicultural and diverse

groups

With social justice at her core, she also speaks strongly in support of organisations and individuals who support underprivileged and mistreated people locally.

“One, that I think does amazing work, they used to be called the Darebin Legal Centre, they merged with the Fitzroy Legal Centre and took on that name, but it's still located behind the library, in Edwardes Street.

“They are incredible, they are a community legal centre, helping women fleeing domestic violence, they have a justice reinvestment program for mostly women coming out of prison, they help people with debt issues. They're amazing, ” she said.

We went on to chat about Decibels Youth Music, a government sponsored space where people aged 13-25 can engage with passionate educators and industry figures to play, compose and record music. They're on Edwardes too, number 23.

Your Community Health is exalted for their capacity to deliver crucial services. They even welcomed Ms. Kearney's help to vaccinate citizens during the COVID.

“I put on my scrubs and registered with the surge workforce and was allowed to give vaccinations with them, which was

great.”

Of course, Reservoir Neighbourhood House is given very high praise. Regular readers will know all about these champions of Rezza.

Being a contributing member to a local media outlet, I wanted to understand better Ms. Kearney's relationship with other media in the area. The big players in media obviously have most of the access to our representatives, so I was curious to know if Ms. Kearney had any affiliation with the little guys.

It seems as though The Rezzadent has come along at a time when local news is sorely needed!

“Well, we used to have local media! We used to have a local newspaper, which I think is a great shame that we don't anymore. There is an online, I think, Preston Leader, but I think that it's part of the Herald Sun and I think you have to subscribe to the Herald Sun [to access it].” (I checked, that information is correct).

“Otherwise it's all social media engagement. Oh, and 3KND of course, I do a regular program with them, about once a month on a Thursday morning. G-Man gets me on and we have a really lovely chat.”

For anyone not familiar with 3KND, they're an all Indigenous AM radio station based out of Bundoora at the moment. I had the privilege of doing a spot on them a few months ago, they're a terrific group of people.

On a more ebullient note, I handed Ms. Kearney the proverbial mic to shout out the cultural aspects of Reservoir. Seems our dear politician likes to get out and about!

“I like to go out and listen to music and drink wine, is that culture?” Ms. Kearney remarked with a chuckle.

“Lots of places are opening up in Rezza, the Merri Bar, on Gilbert Road, is one.”

I mention the Ragtime Tavern, another little happening spot, to which Ms. Kearney responded, “Yes, it's brilliant! We had my post election party there. Great drinks and the people running it are so nice, really sweet.

“I do try to support all the schools, when they have their theatre nights and their revues. We try to get along to Rezza High, you know [they're] very famous for their performances, they do great theatre.”

Reservoir Stomp is given a huge wrap too, which each year is getting bigger, and bigger.

An organisation called PRACE (Preston Reservoir Adult Education Centre) is praised for its outstanding work, but moreover Ms. Kearney has aspirations to develop the facility into a more substantial cultural centre as well, hopefully for performers and artists to meet and display their work in Reservoir. Watch this space.

We wrapped our chat with cordial pleasantries and a joke about an anticapitalist valentines card with a picture of Karl Marx on the front. I want to thank Ms. Kearney for her time and the opportunity to meet with her in her Preston office. Her knowledge and commitment to our neck of the woods was openly on display, and I thank her for that too.

I want to leave you with one more quote, one that I feel encapsulates what Ms. Kearney stands for in her pursuit of exemplary public service, for us here in Reservoir, as well as the electorate of Cooper.

“People, often, just want to be heard, and they can feel ok about that here. You do your best to help everyone you can. You do your best.”

CONFESSIONS OF A DOG PARK FACEBOOK PAGE ADMIN

Words By Carmen Lahiff-Jenkins.

Dog parks are public spaces that are beholden to the local laws just like any other public space, but try telling that to facebook page admins, who sometimes have a blurred, somewhat conflated sense of power, confusing themselves with local council, police, state MPs and possibly even someone's God.

In 2016, I became one of these delusional and occasionally exalted deities for the local dog park facebook page. What seemed an innocent, mostly benign community role designed to let everyone know what days the football and cricket clubs were training turned into a feud rivaling Kanye versus Taylor Swift after the 2006 VMAs!

In the year before COVID I cleared the admins on the facebook page as the load had become a little heavier and I wasn’t sure who else was acting as an admin. Immediately, one of the people I removed in the clean up, (let’s call her Regina George) contacted me via messenger.

“Who made you God’? '' She raged. “… I love this dog park; it’s not my fault I can’t get there; I had to move to Yan Yean.”

“If you moved to Yan Yean’, I stupidly replied, “Why do you want to be a dog park admin in Reservoir?’

Impotent with fury she contacted the other admins. Although she’d not engaged as an admin for years and lived elsewhere, they all agreed, if she wanted

it that bad, just put her back on.

So I did.

In 2020, when COVID hit and we were all locked down within 5km, our local dog park was a sanctuary, but was so busy we had police visiting regularly, splitting up social packs like a school principal at a blue light disco. New dogs and owners came to the park in droves. With the increased traffic came an increase in incidents between dogs and owners.

After one particular incident that was distressing for the community, ‘Regina’

asked the victims if they could post pictures of the dog that had attacked their dog, the owner of that dog and any wounds.

My neighbor popped over and said, ‘did

you see the bullshit going down on the Facebook page?’ I reminded everyone that the police or local council deal with dog attacks, not the admins of a facebook page.

The following week Regina wrote to me explaining that she was going to set up a spot on the Facebook page to post ‘bad dogs’ and their ‘bad owners’ to make the community aware of dogs and owners they should ‘watch out for’. I politely told her where to shove her burn book and explained this was illegal, immoral and not exactly the remit of a Facebook page.

At this point she deleted me.

I could have stayed deleted, but I had lost my mind.

The angry messaging between us, and her obsession with ‘community order’ REALLY pissed me off.

I annoyed the crap out of my entire social circle. I spent 80 per cent of the time talking about ‘Regina’ and the other 20% hoping someone else would bring her up so I could talk about her. How could someone be so freaking unreasonable, it was JUST A FACEBOOK PAGE.

I contacted an ally on the inside to get me back on as an admin. She reappointed me immediately and said “stop messing with her, she’s a bit bonkers”, and “it’s just a Facebook pag”’.

All the other admins stepped away, mumbling things like “I’m pregnant and having my first child and, I just don’t care about this”.

Regina would post a rule that people whose dog misbehaved could not come to the park for two weeks. I would delete it. The fight would start again.

She’d write a rule on the page that your dog must attend training before coming to the park, I would delete it. The fight would start again.

I put out a request for everyone to introduce their dog and share a bit about them. The 1200 locals rose to the challenge. For the three months of lockdown someone posted a gorgeous story about their good dog, every day. It was glorious. She stayed quiet.

However, earlier this year she started a fight with a member of the Facebook page. She finally poked a bear of her own size and temperament, I only had to sit back and watch.

I received messages from both sides about how outrageous the other was, making up laws and rules as they went. It climaxed when sobbing Regina confessed she hadn’t even visited the park since 2015, and also didn't have a dog. She had in fact sent a fake picture of a dog to the other person that turned out to belong to Lenny Kravitz.

I invited the injured person to become a Facebook admin, removed Regina and blocked her from all socials, I’d had enough and so had the community. But it was never going to be that easy. She called the sitting member of parliament that I work with and complained that I should be sacked as I couldn’t even run a dog park page.

First point of order, the new admin wanted to pin a warning at the top of the page letting everyone know that posting a picture of their dog may invite dog thieves. But the other new admins I’d recruited quickly jumped in and kindly said, ‘no’.

It’s been a good five months with the new admins, my faith in humanity is restored. In that time I’ve only had to welcome new people to the page, remove an ad for a local catering operation, and an event for a pornographic film viewing; business as usual.

SEGMENTO TARANTELLA FESTIVAL AT EDWARDES PARK LAKE

Words By sourced from the Segmento Tarantella Festival website. Images By Julie Atkinson

A festival held forge connections within diverse communities and promoting cultural awareness amongst all generations.

Tarantella is a style of music and a set of dances that originated in the South of Italy, dating back to the Middle Ages. Legend states that the fast-paced motion was used as a solo dance to cure disease provoked by the bite of the Tarantula spider.

Over time, Tarantella has become a trance-inducing healing dance, a courtship dance, and a celebratory dance. Tarantella today remains a living tradition of dance and music.

NOT SO PLASTIC FANTASTIC

The pause of REDcycle has left many scratching their heads for what to do with their soft plastics, but despite being up to our knees in plastic, solutions are possible - writes Shannon McKeogh

My partner and I were loyal soft plastic recyclers. We would religiously stuff all our packaging into a large plastic bag, and once that bag was bursting at the seams we would march on down to Coles or Woolies and squish that bag into the tiny hole of the REDcycle bin.

I always felt a sense of pride doing this, imagining that our pasta packets, mocha coffee shiny sachets, and muesli bar wrappers were being processed into future park benches, train tracks or even

roads. That was the REDcycle promise. It was plastic fantastic! Look at us doing our bit! We were basically eco-warriors.

But last month we were told by REDcycle that they were pausing their operations until mid 2023. The failure (even if just temporary) of REDcycle has had me, and many others, rethinking the trust we have in this system.

The experts have said this is an opportunity to rebuild and rethink our

Photographs Sourced from Gill King on Flickr

entire plastics system, but what can we do about it? And how can I regain my planeteer status?

Consider the waste hierarchy

Like the food pyramid, waste products have a hierarchy, says Reservoir local Julian Bettiol, who works for Reground, a social enterprise focused on reusing and repurposing waste by working with local communities and businesses.

He admits that the whole thing is complicated and that there isn’t much individuals can currently do recycling wise for soft plastics.

“The best thing you can do is avoid waste, then it’s about minimising, then reusing – although reusing soft plastic is

not that easy.”

The circular economy will turn soft plastics into more soft plastics

Before we dive into individual responses and solutions, let’s not forget that there needs to be a collective response from the big-wigs who create the plastics in the first place.

Soft plastic exists to protect food spoilage (another huge problem with waste in Australia) but do my baked beans really need to be wrapped in a kilometre of plastic?

Julian says that supermarkets and manufacturers need to take responsibility for a solution, rather than palming it off to others, like us consumers. Germany has successfully put a tax on plastics, which is something the Australian government could look at doing here.

While there is no plastic tax currently, we are 9-12 months away from bringing in machines from overseas that can do chemical recycling. This will create a circular solution for soft plastic for the first time in Australia.

“These machines will turn the plastics back into oil, the oil will be refined in local refineries, processed into plastic pellets and then be used to make soft plastic again.

“This has already been tested in Melbourne and is definitely going to happen on a large scale,” Julian said.

BYO bags, containers and buy in bulk

Darebin Council currently does not offer soft plastic recycling., so encourages an individual response to the issue.

One of the obvious ways to reduce plastics as individuals is just to not buy the plastic-laden products in the first

place.

Community bulk buying groups are a great way to avoid the plastic covered supermarket goods. Reservoir Bulk Food Ordering has just restarted in response to REDcycling’s pause.

Members of the group are able to place an order once a month, with goods being bought from Brunswick’s bulk store Terra Madre, and then collected from a local’s house.

Irene Perkoulidis, who set up the group during COVID, said it was a way to save money and connect with others, as well as helping them benefit by having access to good quality and affordable organic food.

But it does take a lot of organisation, and space to store the bulk foods, and Irene said she learnt that hard way when a sneaky moth got into a whole bag of quinoa and spoilt it.

Buying meat can also be tricky and a bit of trial and error in finding the right butcher or deli who will accept your containers.

If you are interested in being part of the bulk buying group, you can find them on Facebook.

We are creatures of habit

But behaviour change is hard. Like Pavlov’s dog, I continue to open the pantry to put my soft plastics in the plastic bag, before remembering with some sadness that it needs to go into the landfill bin.

Julian hopes that the momentum REDcycle created with consumer behaviour change is not lost when new recycling options become available.

“It’s very hard to get people to change their routines, and hopefully changing

back is easier.”

The future of plastic recycling

While we should all be trying to avoid and minimise waste where possible, and I’m finally investigating bulk buying groups, it is positive to hear that trials for kerbside collection of soft plastics are currently underway.

And plastic recyclers need our soft plastics in order for it to be viable.

Next year Victoria will also introduce the 10 cent collection plants to take your bottles and cans, which is a bit of fun for kids and a chance to earn some pocket money and community groups to generate income.

And while the problem is big, Julian is quietly optimistic for what changes are in store.

“With all these changes, we really can avoid a lot of landfill,” he said.

PLASTIC-FREE SHOPPING IN RESERVOIR AND SURROUNDS

Buying veggies and fruit

Green grocers (countless!) and the Preston Market

Bulk buy shops (for your staples like pasta and rice)

Rhuburb, Rhubarb, at Preston Market The Hub Bulk and Bare, Fairfield Preston Market Healthfoods

Bulk buying community groups

Reservoir Bulk Food Ordering Newlands Co-op

Check out Darebin’s sustainability map for more options.

The waste hierarchy in a nutshell

Avoiding waste

• Buying "nude food,” food that is not wrapped in plastic or comes on polystyrene trays

• Avoid soft plastic waste, so always bring your own bags and not accepting bags when offered.

Minimising

• Trying to buy in bulk or avoid individual packaging, if that's not possible try to reuse whatever you can, as this has a lower carbon footprint.

Recycling

• This is best done at a hyper-local level to reduce freight and transport

• In Australia and Globally there is plenty of importing and exporting of waste happening

• If we can compost at home or have processing facilities on shore in more places we can be benefiting from the resources sooner.

Centralised recycling

• Curbside collections, e.g your yellow bins!

GIG REVIEW

SUNDAY BEST AT THE RESERVOIR STOMP

Words by Lucy Whitfield , Images by Mauro Trentin

Do the stomp I thought as I crushed my beer can under my foot that morning. The hangover was real the heat was positively sweltering and I knew the only way I could brave the day is by hair of the dog. So do the stomp, I reminded myself as I built up the courage to continue

drinking for day #2, something that can make you shudder when you're well into your 30s.

All aboard! Our local Rezzadent friends whom we know from the dog park (#reservoirdogs) came to give us a lift,

and off we went to all go stomping at the Preston Reservoir Bowls Club on Sunday the 4th of December 2022.

We were no strangers of the stomp as we recollected by swapping stories of stomps gone by, and so it was with high expectations that we set off for the day. As we arrived at the stomp, we made a beeline straight for some cold throffies, after all it was 35 degrees and the first hot day of summer.

As I listened to the sounds of dub reggae and dance hall on the coolest vintage speaker system by Housewives Choice, slurping down local hawkers beer and looking around at the happy, friendly smiley locals around me I knew I was in the right place and that my hangover would subside.

In the sea of families, neighbours and locals alike I could see a captivating performance working its way toward me.

In a mesmerizing march, all clad in white suits, Born in a Taxi was working its way past the crowd in time to the music.

There was a whole array of Rezzadent locals, spanning from children wrestling in boxwars with their fellow neighbourhood friends, to their grandparents and everyone in between. We were all were enjoying the day which catered simultaneously for everyone. Locals were mingling enjoying good music, a great atmosphere and exceptional entertainment while sitting on the lawn, in a mix of picnic rugs and deck chairs.

A couple of frothiest down, I was brave enough to try some food. Lucky for me there were $3 snags on the go, so needless to say, this did the trick and I was well and truly on my way. Now almost mended, I was ready to try even more food and so off I went to the back of the event where I sampled an array of

delicious Polish dumplings. Later in the day, and a few more beers down I even made room for some delicious pulled pork nachos and I thought to myself a good food day, is a good day. And a good day it was.

In the heat of the day, beers in hand, we had a go at lawn bowls. A friendly man set us up, gave us some hot tips and we crammed in as many games as we could into our allotted 30-minute slot which was enjoyed by all, so much so that when we finished we inquired about the bowls club. We were delighted to hear about the live music, barefoot bowls, beers and BBQ that happens each Friday at the Shak, the new outdoor bar and beer garden!

In between mingling, stuffing my face and losing at bowls I got to enjoy a vast array of emerging artists inside the bowls club. Wombatuque took us to a faraway continent with their upbeat sounds and their samba. Then to some funky cultural beats from Ausecumba Beats whose rhythm got us bopping whilst transporting us to various cultures around the globe. Pinch Points got the crowd shouting out the chorus lines and fast-tempo punk sounds.The final act of the night was the soulful sounds of Mo’ju whose depth and range of vocals captivated the room with powerful songs of meaning.

As the day closed in, and I stomped my final beer can under my foot, I felt a contented gratefulness for the day I had. Lucky to live here in 3073: the people’s suburb. A place that connects its neighbours. An easygoing place to meet people from different cultures and from all different walks of life. Thank you stomp for all you do, but especially for bringing us together every year and thank you fellow stompers for supporting this wonderful event.

EDWARDS LAKE DURING THE FLOODS

Photography by Julie Atkinson

FAMOUS REZZADENTS

3073 has played a part in quite a few well known people over the years, Viki Komornik explores.

Reservoir is a large suburb so it shouldn’t come as a surprise that the list of famous people born, raised or lived here is substantial and covers a broad range of areas.

This is not a PhD thesis so no doubt I missed plenty of people during my research. If you know someone who is not on the list or you are someone who

should be on the list, message us on rezzadentnews@gmail.com as we’d be happy to blow your trumpet for you!

See if you can match the name to the image (hint: just to make it a little trickier for you, not all the names have a matching image).

So here is a not exhaustive list:

Graeme Blundell aka Alvin Purple, actor, director, producer, writer, playwright, lyricist and biographer. He is best known as playing the title character in the 1973 sex-comedy film Alvin Purple. He has written extensively in The Australian newspaper as well as writing biographies. He currently co-presents on Foxtel a new film and television program

Glenn Suckling spent over 40 years playing bass in bands, now heading up the Rokewood Hotel Blues Jams.

Barry Dickins playwright, author, artist. He is known for his historical dramas and his reminisces about growing up and living in working class Melbourne. He writes for Australia's independent theatre scene.

Robert Dickins painter.

Joff Ellen was a comedian who during WWII performed vaudeville acts to troops and after the war did comedy shows on Melbourne radio station 3XY 1422, now known as Radio Hellas. He appeared in various children’s television shows as the character Joffra Boy.

Zelia Rose was voted the number one burlesque entertainer in the world in 2019 and joined the Hamilton musical cast in 2020.

Catherine Deveny is a comedy writer and stand-up comedian who was a regular columnist for The Age newspaper from 2001 to 2010. She now runs writing masterclasses, workshops and retreats.

Maria Augustus-Dunn is a novel writer (“Married Quarter”, “Dunnarunna”).

Merv Benton made his name as a pop singer from the mid-1960s. His most popular singles were "Baby Let's Play House", "I Got Burned", "Yield Not to

Temptation", "Don't Destroy Me" and "You've Got What it Takes".

Archie Roach was an Australian singer, songwriter and Aboriginal activist. He was a Gunditjmara and Bundjalung elder who campaigned for the rights of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people.

Marty Kristian is the former lead singer of The NEW Seekers who had #1 hits world wide & started off as a young idol from Reservoir.

Cheddar Road All-Stars project is a collaboration between Reservoir-based songwriters Leo Francis (The Rechords), Cat Canteri (Kutcha Edwards), Justin Bernasconi, Danny Walsh (Danny Walsh Banned) and Emma Peel (PBS FM), and Barry Dickins. It also features an array of special guest performers.

Emma Peel is a musician, PBS Radio Announcer, DJ, Vintage Collector and Connoisseur of all things 1960s and 1970s. She is also our Reservoir Stomp organiser.

Katie Geppert is an Australian watercolour artist working across painting, fashion, and music. Katie was previously featured in The Rezzadent.

Nelly Thomas is a writer, presenter, comedian and speaker.

Hugh McGinlay is a singer, songwriter and author (Catherine Kint series and four albums).

Kate Brouwer is a ceramic artist who runs Asobimasu creating an ever growing range of handmade ceramics.

Mojo Ruiz de Luzuriaga, professionally known as MO’JU, has 24 award nominations, including 3 at the ARIAs, and a string of praises for 'Best Music Video’ (J Awards) and ‘Best Song’/‘Best

Album’ (National Indigenous Music Awards) to her name.

SPORTS

Trent Cotchin plays for the Richmond Football Club in the Australian Football League and was team captain 20132021.

Bill Hooker is an Australian former middle-distance runner, sprinter and hurdler. In 1969 he was Australian champion in the 400m and 400m hurdles. At the 1974 British Commonwealth Games in Christchurch, he was sixth in the 800m and fourth in the 4x400m relay with the Australian team.

Leigh Carlson is a former Australian rules footballer who played for Collingwood and Fitzroy in the VFL.

Sansonetti Brothers, Sal and Remo, twins are former cyclists who competed at the Olympics and Commonwealth Games. 1970-82.

Bill Lawry is an Australian former cricketer who played for Victoria and Australia. He captained Australia in 25 Test matches.

Charlene Rendina is a retired Australian athlete who specialised in sprint and middle distance events. She represented Australia at the Commonweath Games and twice at the Olympics.

Sav Rocca is a retired Australian professional sportsman. He played Australian rules football for Collingwood and North Melbourne in the Australian Football League, and then switched to playing American football as a punter for the Philadelphia Eagles and Washington Redskins in the National Football League.

Anthony Rocca is a former Australian rules footballer who has played with the

Sydney Swans and Collingwood in the AFL.

Darren Goldspink is a veteran Australian rules football umpire in the Australian Football League.

Kevin Grose was an Australian rules footballer who played with Collingwood in the Victorian Football League.

Desmond Vincent Tuddenham is a former Australian rules footballer who played for Collingwood and Essendon in the Victorian Football League during the 1960s and 1970s.

Len Thompson was an Australian rules footballer who played for the Collingwood Football Club, South Melbourne Football Club and Fitzroy Football Club in the Victorian Football League.

Andrew Lovett is an Aboriginal Australian rules footballer who played in the Australian Football League for Essendon between 2005 and 2009.

Denis Banks is a former Australian rules footballer who played for the Collingwood Football Club in the VFL/ AFL.

The Shaw brothers (Tony, Ray, Neville), played VFL/AFL for Collingwood, Preston and West Adelaide.

POLITICS

I heard whispers that Andrew Robb, former federal minister in Howard Government and Jim Bacon, former Premier of Tasmania had a connection to Reservoir but I was unable to find specific information.

UNFORGETTA-BOWL

Mel and Paige love ten-pin bowling. They not only play competitively in a league, but work at Wyncity Keon Park Ten Pin Bowling, one of Melbourne’s longest running bowling centres, located on busy Mahoney’s road.

Between them, they own six balls, and say only amateurs would touch the centre’s communal bowling shoes. Mel and Paige were brought up in families that played on the weekends together, so it was only natural that they would also work at a bowling alley.

Whilst Paige also works in manufacturing during the week, Mel recently had a career change from the disability sector. Although she is no longer a disability support worker, the centre often has disability groups visiting for a game or two.

The centre, which opened during peak mullet in ‘78, was on its way to be demolished before Wyncity stepped in and saved the centre a year ago, which hadn’t reopened after the last lockdown.

A year ago the historic Keon Park bowling centre was set to be bulldozed, but hearts remain intact thanks to a bunch of legends stepping in - writes Shannon McKeogh.

On a grey Saturday November afternoon

I visited the centre, with some fellow Rezzadents. With Kylie Minogue blasting and the fourth kid’s birthday party for the day wrapping up, there is so much happening that the very idea of this centre not existing, and instead being another boring factory outlet on Mahoney’s road, is hard to imagine.

If you haven’t bowled post-COVID, you will be happy to know that not much has changed. Although if the idea of wearing bowling shoes was less of a novelty and more icky to you, you can now wear your own tinea-infected shoes (runners or sneakers) if you’d prefer.

If you haven't bowled in a long time, and fear the gutter ball, you may find Mel and Paige’s three top tips helpful for getting back into the game.

1. “Keep your arm straight “- Paige

2. “Have fun, that’s the most important thing” - Mel

3. “The lighter the ball the more it bounces off the pins. If you get a heavier ball, like a 9 -10 pound ball

you will knock more over. That’s why males, who often go for the heavier balls often get higher scores.” - Paige

Finally! The secret to winning. With my arm straight, fun, and a heavier ball I finally got a spare.

DEAR RESERVOIR CATS

Every month a different Reservoir dog helps a troubled Rezzadent through this column; one tail wag and wet kiss at a time. Treats welcome. Send your qualms with the subject line “Dear Reservoir Dogs” to rezzadentnews@gmail.com . If your best-legged mate wants to get involved, also get in touch. We love our Reservoir doggos!

Beans, a tuxedo cat with a taste for the finer things in life, gives holiday advice.

My friends are having a holiday party and told us to bring a plate of food along. The problem is: I have no time to cook! Can you suggest some festive meals that will impress my friends and will be quick to make?

Let me tell you a story. One afternoon, I awoke from a nap to find my furless housemates chopping onions, vacuuming floors and arranging cheeseboards with desperate speed. They were having a dinner party and they hadn’t given me any notice! I had no time at all to prepare a dish for the party! But sometimes the best dishes are improvised on the fly. Undetected by my housemates, I snuck out the back door and caught a fresh pigeon for the party. I laid it carefully under the dinner table just before our guests arrived. My dish was met with what I can only assume were screams of delight. So, don’t worry about having time to cook the meal, just find yourself a bird and lay it at your friends’ feet.

I am trying to raise my children to value the environment and avoid consumerism, but all those good intentions seem to fly out the window when Christmas comes along. There’s the wrapping paper, all that plastic packaging, and the toys themselves which only get used for a few years at most. How can my family celebrate Christmas without creating waste?

Every year, I give my housemates the same thing: the gift of my presence. The best thing you can give your children is the sight of you napping in a sunny corner of your living room on Christmas morning. If that’s not your style, maybe you can shed your fur all over the house so they are surrounded by glorious, little fibres of your being at all times. They can go to school, look down at the fur, coating their uniform and think to themselves, “Wow, my family is here supporting me at all times.”

After the last few years of working from home in my pyjamas, I don’t know how to dress anymore! I’m in a total fashion rut. All the clothes in the shops seem to be designed for fundamentalist housewives or 20-year-old ravers. It makes me want to retreat into my comfy home clothes. The new year is coming and I’m ready for a new start. How can I find my style again in 2023?

You say you’re in a fashion rut, but what I’m hearing is that you’re low on confidence. What you need to do is lick your fur clean, find a well-tailored tuxedo and get strutting down Broadway again! A tuxedo is pure elegance and always in style. I mean, I never take mine off! There are so many ways to wear a tuxedo as well. Think Kristen Stewart – so chic! Billy Porter in a tuxedo gown at the 2019 Oscars? Iconic! Just find your inner tuxedo cat and people will be tripping over themselves in awe as you walk past.

I’ve moved to Australia from the Northern Hemisphere, and I really miss the snow at this time of year. How can I recreate a white Christmas in Australia?

I have a simple trick for this. It’s so easy that I like to deploy it all through the year really! All you need to do is scoop your paw into your poop box and just flick out the litter so it settles over the floor like beautiful snowflakes. Voila, a white Christmas for all!

December is always so chaotic between the parties, the shopping and the travel. I’m so stressed out that I’m not enjoying myself, but I feel obligated to participate in all these activities. How can I find peace when life is so busy?

Well, I would argue that you’re not obligated to participate. This sense of obligation is what’s getting you down, my friend. And

what does it matter, really? Time itself won’t stop if you skip a holiday party. I suggest that you relieve yourself of this pressure by experimenting with rebellion. Scratch the couch until its cushion guts are exposed! Jump on the counter and steal human food! Knock items off the table just because you feel like it! The world might be diving headfirst towards climate apocalypse, and we’re spending our time worrying about things like Christmas presents. Release the chains of commitment and barf on the rug of life! I truly feel that will bring you the peace you desire.

WHAT'S ON

Mad Hatter’s NYE Boozy Banquet

Moon Dog World

Saturday 31 December, 7:30 – 10pm

$126

32 Chifley Drive, Preston VIC 3072

An Alice in Wonderland themed five course feast paired with five never seen before beers. After the dinner, head back into the main venue for DJs playing songs from the 90s and 2000s.

Book online: moondog.ly/madhatters

Summer of Film: Encanto

Reservoir Library

Tuesday 10 January, 7 – 9pm

Free

23 Edwardes Street, Reservoir VIC 3073

A kid-friendly screening of Encanto as part of the Darebin Libraries’ Summer of Film.

Reserve a spot online: https://www. eventbrite.com.au/e/summer-of-filmencanto-registration-469657487187

Zine Workshop with Tonia Composto

Reservoir Library

Friday 20 January, 3 – 4pm

23 Edwardes Street, Reservoir VIC 3073

Free

Zine workshop for young people aged 12 – 17 years with Tonia Composto, the creator of mini mag GoGoZine.

Book online: https://www.eventbrite. com.au/e/zine-workshop-with-toniacomposto-tickets-468885468057

Device Advice

Reservoir Library

Monday 23 January, 2 – 4pm

Free 23 Edwardes Street, Reservoir VIC 3073

Free 20 minute one-on-one sessions with a Darebin Libraries staff member to help resolve your minor technical issues.

To book visit https://www.eventbrite. com.au/e/device-advice-reservoir-libraryregistration-383798360227 or call 1300 655 355

Summer of Film: Bellbird

Reservoir Library

Tuesday 24 January, 7 – 8:30pm

Free 23 Edwardes Street, Reservoir VIC 3073

A film screening of Bellbird as part of Darebin Libaries’ Summer of Film. Rated M.

Reserve a spot online: https://www. eventbrite.com.au/e/summer-of-filmbellbird-registration-469655721907

Richie 1250’s Unlimited Love Lounge

Free entry

K’nochen Joint www.facebook.com/KnochenJoint/ 206 Broadway, Reservoir VIC 3073 Ph 0414 704 077

First Friday of the month, 5 – 11 p.m. Music and DJ event held monthly

Transition Darebin Food Swap Reservoir Library, free 23 Edwardes Street, Reservoir VIC 3073

Third Saturday of the month, 10 – 11 a.m.

Monthly meet-up to swap excess food, meet local folks, talk about gardening and sustainability.

Trading card game tournaments

The Game Experts 944 High St, Reservoir VIC 3073

Ph (03) 9191 5155 www.thegameexperts.com.au

Flesh & Blood tournament on Mondays from 7 p.m. and Dragon Ball tournament on Wednesdays from 7 p.m.

Live piano shows free entry

Ragtime Tavern

206 Tyler St, Preston VIC 3072 Ph 0418 557 650 ragtimetavern.com.au

Wednesdays, Fridays and Saturdays, 6 –11 p.m.

Follow their Instagram account www. instagram.com/ragtimetavern/ to see which artists are performing each week.

Music and DJ event held monthly

Sunday Jazz Sessions

free entry

Ragtime Tavern

206 Tyler St, Preston VIC 3072 free entry Ph 0418 557 650 ragtimetavern.com.au

Every Sunday, 5 – 10 p.m. Live music Free entry

High and Wild Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights 817 High St, Reservoir VIC 3073

https://www.highandwildbar.com.au/ pages/whats-on

Monthly produce swap

Regent Community Garden

4 Robinson Road, Reservoir VIC 3073

1st Sunday of the month, 2 - 3 p.m.

Produce swap facilitated by Friends of Regent Community Garden

Further information can be found online https://localfoodconnect.org.au/localdirectory/71517/regent-food-swap/ https://www.facebook.com/ FriendsofRegentGarden/

Communicare Lunches

Reservoir Neighbourhood House

2C Cuthbert Road, Reservoir VIC 3073

Every Monday, 12 - 1 p.m.

Weekly chef-prepared lunch for visitors and health professionals on site available to chat

Festive Flow and Yoga Social

Sunday 23 December, 4:45 – 7:00pm

Oshun Yoga

Free for regular students

20 Gellibrand Crescent, Reservoir VIC 3073

A festive yoga flow class, drinks, snacks and a special surprise!

Book online: https://www.oshunyoga. com.au/special-events

Gnocchi Making Class

Saturday 11 February, 10am – 1pm

That’s Amore Cheesery, $125

66 Latitude Boulevard, Thomastown VIC 3074

Learn to make gnocchi with Masterchef Australia contestant Pia Gava. Italian style lunch included.

Book online: https://thatsamorecheese. weteachme.com/classes/1024783gnocchi-making-class

Men’s Circle

Every third Thursday of the month, 56:30pm

Darebin Intercultural Centre

59A Roseberry Avenue, Preston VIC 3072

Open Exchange is a place-based initiative committed to supporting men of all ages from migrant and refugee backgrounds.

Further information can be found online: https://www.darebin.vic.gov.au/ events-and-facilities/events/eventscalendar/2022/03/mens-circle

English Pronunciation Tutorials

Every Friday excluding school holidays, 10 - 11:30am

Darebin Intercultural Centre

59A Roseberry Avenue, Preston VIC 3072

Drop in tutorials to improve language skills in a safe, constructive and supportive environment.

Further information can be found online: https://www.darebin.vic.gov.au/ events-and-facilities/events/eventscalendar/2022/03/english-pronunciationtutorials

Job Club

Every Wednesday excluding school holidays, 12:30 - 2:30pm

Darebin Intercultural Centre

59A Roseberry Avenue, Preston VIC 3072

Chat with a careers counsellor and jobs advocate to get support for job searching, resume writing and interviewing skills.

Further information can be found online: https://www.darebin.vic.gov.au/ events-and-facilities/events/eventscalendar/2022/03/job-club

Tapestry Classes

Darebin Intercultural Centre

59A Roseberry Avenue, Preston VIC 3072

Free weaving classes open to women and girls from refugee and asylum seeker backgrounds, women who experience family violence and those who live in isolation. All tools and materials provided.

Book by calling Rosa Vasseghi on 0423 060 989

Further information can be found online: https://www.darebin.vic.gov.au/ events-and-facilities/events/eventscalendar/2022/03/tapestry-classes

Free bike checks

Reservoir Leisure Centre

Occur monthly, check dates at link below

2A Cuthbert Road, Reservoir VIC 3073

Book online https://www.eventbrite. com.au/e/free-monthly-bike-checksreservoir-darebin-loves-bikestickets-273933571687

Illustration By Nicole Roberston