My Work with Bereaved Families by Rev Michael Plaskow MBE Some years ago, accompanied by 50 other people, Phyllis and I returned from an army barracks situated on the Golan border, near Kiryat Shmona, where a room was consecrated by a charming couple from Netanya in memory of their son. This room will benefit soldiers and police and enable them to relax and receive refreshments. I thought this was a wonderful gesture on their part and I know that they were comforted in the knowledge that their dear son’s memory will be perpetuated through the use of this restroom by thousands of soldiers. This brings me on to the subject of bereavement. In my many years as a chazzan in London, I found bereavement for a child the most difficult as far as my services to the family were concerned. I remember officiating at the funerals for the victims of road accidents, fires, drownings, an avalanche and illness. To give a hesped (eulogy) at the funeral for a child or young adult, knowing and appreciating the trauma that the parents are undergoing at that time was one of the most difficult undertakings of my ministry. I was sent a poem written by the mother of her young son Shane, who disappeared in the mountains of Nicaragua and whose body was subsequently found after 12 days. It was written in his memory.
Don’t Tell Me Please don’t tell me you know how I feel Unless you have lost your child too, Please don’t tell me my broken heart will heal, Because that is just not true. Please don’t tell me my son is in a better place, Though it is true, I want him here with me, Don’t tell me some day I’ll hear his voice, see his face, Because today I cannot see.
I pray that any person reading this who has lost a child may be comforted by the Almighty in the fullness of time.A
And please don’t hesitate to say his name, Because it is something I long to hear every day, Friend, please realise that I can never be the same, But if you stand by me, you may like the new person, I become some day.
Don’t tell me it is time to move on Because I cannot, Don’t tell me to face the fact he is gone, Because denial is something I cannot stop. Don’t tell me to be thankful for the time I had, Because I wanted more, Don’t tell me when I am my old self you will be glad, Because I will never be as I was before. What you can tell me is that you will be here for me, That you will listen when I talk of my child, You can share with me my precious memories, You can even cry with me for a while.
If you need a ride to a hospital or medical appointment the YINN Car Pool Rota is here to help YOU! On behalf of those shul members who have used this service, we would like thank the volunteers who have given of their time to perform this important mitzvah.
More drivers are needed! If you need a ride or if you can help, please contact Avril or Neville Gatoff 058-795 4151 or 058-766 8222 or by email at: avrilgatoff@gmail.com 14 | YINN Pesach 5781
