My Skin, Not Yours

I stand in front of you

Bare, but not naked

Clothed, but cold

Fed, out of spute.

In your eyes,

the most selfish gaze set upon me.

No chains, but you hold me back.

As if I was gold.

But you treat me like rubble.

I was once free, and without care.

Frolicking in the waves, catching the dusk.

Then you came into view,

And as if you were an angel,

I let you take me away

From the sea, where I lingered.

Love is, and will always be stubborn.

Thought I said I was different,

In your eyes, "I was more."

And just like that, knowing no better,

I stayed by your side

Thinking you were my light.

For I was human, having shed my skin

Showing flaws and vulnerabilities

Being your world

You said you'd conquer

Then I had my doubts

You were any good at all.

Was it love? Obsession?

Greed? Self-pity?

You brandish my skin

As if it was a trophy

Banish it to nowhere

To keep my hand in yours.

Stupid, what a fool, how dare you—

I had many words for myself.

Then I heard the words more

From your once soft-spoken mouth.

My love for you waned,

And so did your sincerity.

What stood in place of caress

Was berating

All sorts of duress

The roses set for me

Have yielded their thorns

Entrapped me in your desperation and pride.

I looked back, wondered

If I was good enough

To be an object, receiving your grievance

Indeed, I was just that:

Nothing else without skin.

Caving in for ire, exploiting with desire.

Still, I hoped that you still loved me so

For actions, I believed, spoke louder than words.

For my bruises, you dressed them in silk

My aches of hunger satisfied with feasts

Yet the night loomed over, the hole in my heart

Yearning for validation, and you never answered.

Who knew that standing on two feet

Gave a chance for one to break them

If this was what freedom was, I never wanted it.

There I was— naked and powerless

I'd give anything, my dignity

To be able to be free— me.

Two broken feet. I put one down.

My dreams were a tint of rose

I ignored the scent of sarin

I took my head from the sky,

Maybe it knocked sense into me.

I've been tricked, and now it shall cease.

Skin, so-called hide

But it was one I wore so proudly

And to be entitled to such

Though it was not of your flesh

Would be the way of a loser

For now, I shan't wither

Dry out to your liking

Shrivel in fear, cower in your shadow.

The sea will call me, I shall take heed.

Our ties shall never

See yet another day.

I stand in front of you

Bare, but not naked

Clothed, but cold

Fed, out of spite.

In your eyes,

the most pathetic glazed-over look

In an attempt to lure me back.

Hold my hand, say that you love me.

But all is over.

Never shall you set hands

on my skin

Neither rip it off me.

For it is mine to keep

And not to be stretched and trampled upon.

-

Written by Mary Gwen Casuncad

Visual by Mitchel Catayas

Layout by Lydeth Roque