The Pitt News 11-18-14

Vol. 105 Issue 73

@thepittnews

Tuesday,November 18, 2014

HIT IT

Pittnews.com

Pitt doctors team up for innovation Danielle Fox Assistant News Editor

In the PInCh —Pitt Innovation Challenge — students and professors scored $400,000 prizes this weekend to advance health care.

Pitt’s Clinical and Translational Science Institute, the Office of the Provost and the Innovation Institute hosted the second year of the challenge, and more than 60 teams competed. Three groups won $100,000 each at the University Club Saturday night, while four other groups received $25,000 each.

To win the prize money each group respondThe African Music and Dance Ensemble performed at the Cultural Carnival Monday night in the William Pitt Union Ballroom Alexandra Wolf|| Staff Videographer

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Health Care

Get it to go: Primanti Bros now ships nationwide

Jesseca Muslin Staff Writer

If you’re a Pittsburgh grad or soon to be one, and you are moving out of the Pittsburgh area, there’s a good chance you’ll miss some of the things that make the city unique, such as Polish pierogies from the Strip and Iron City Beer.

But if a classic Primanti Brother’s sandwich is on the list of Pittsburgh classics you’ll miss, you might not need to worry any longer.

In late October, Primanti Bros. partnered with Goldbely, a company that takes dishes from restaurants across the country and turns them into ready-to-ship meals.

“We pride ourselves on being explorers

of food on a mission to get people all over the country amazing regional items, and Primanti Bros. is one of them,” said David Ariel, who handles customer happiness and business development at Goldbely.

Goldbely is currently selling the Primanti Bros. “Almost Famous” sandwich on its website for $109, with an extra $35 charge to ship to Alaska or Hawaii.

Ariel said each package is shipped overnight to its buyers to ensure freshness and comes with all the ingredients needed to make four sandwiches, which is why it has a higher price.

“The ‘Almost Famous’ Sandwich was the one that had a ‘Steel Curtain’-like legacy,” Ariel said. “It was the one that stood out and

was what you expect from a Primanti Bros. sandwich.”

Representatives from Primanti Bros. corporate did not return requests for comment on the nationwide shipping.

Victor Cherubin, a manager at the Primanti’s on Forbes Ave., said shipping the sandwiches nationwide is a good idea.

“People fly home with sandwiches wrapped up separately,” he said, attesting to people’s love for Primanti’s sandwiches.

Cherubin said he hasn’t ordered a sandwich for shipping, so doesn’t know how well one would keep when being shipped, but eats the sandwiches as leftovers and still loves them.

Rick Demarco, who works at the Pri-

manti’s on Forbes Avenue, said shipping the sandwiches nationwide is great for people who don’t live in Pittsburgh.

“People from out of town are always [saying], ‘Put a store near my house’,” Demarco said.

Each package shipped includes Primanti’s Italian bread, pastrami or capicola, cheese, french fries, coleslaw, tomato, Red Devil hot sauce and a Primanti’s T-shirt.

The packages are made to-order in Pittsburgh, and Primanti Bros. ships a limited quantity of packages on Tuesdays and Thursdays only.

Ariel said the response to the sandwich

Primantis

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November 18, 2014 | The Pitt News | www.pittnews.com FROM PAGE 1

PRIMANTIS

HEALTH CARE

has been amazing, and many people have been ordering it. Ariel declined to give any numbers on how many people have ordered the sandwich, stating “privacy issues.”

“People from all walks have been ordering, from native Pittsburghers to people that are only in the U.S. for a few days visiting,” Ariel said.

Ala Din is an international student from Egypt in the English Language Institute at Pitt, and he said if Primanti’s would ship internationally he would send a package to his family in Egypt. Din said Primanti’s is great for drinks and food and is a good place to hang out.

“I love this place for chilling, especially at lunchtime,” Din said.

Although a packaged version of the sandwich may not be the same as the version cooked in front of you in the restaurant, it’s a way for out-of-towners or Pittsburgh natives living elsewhere to get a taste of a Pittsburgh staple.

“People will still buy it like crazy just for the name,” Demarco said.

ed to the question: “From cell to community: How can we individualize solutions for better health(care)?”

The prizes cover direct costs to help advance the winning groups’ project over the next 12 months, with additional help from a project manager assigned to each winning group.

The Challenge posed the question in September and then selected 20 teams from a first round of 60 video entries. Following a written entry round, the University chose 10 finalists to present their ideas in a showcase.

Groups Nebukin, Nanoketo and ACL took the top prizes. Dr. Timothy Corcoran from the Department of Medicine and Bioengineering, Pulmonary, Allergy and Critical Care Medicine of UPMC led the Nebukin team, which aims to use a tablet-based software tool to help children properly use nebulizers, which deliver drugs through an inhalable mist, to treat asthma.

Corcoran said the software acts like a game to guide children through breathing patterns that administer the optimal amount of the drug.

“The game also helps to keep the child en-

tertained during the treatment and alleviates boredom and anxiety. It also provides physicians with a degree of control over dosing,” Corcoran said in an email.

Corcoran said he has worked with aerosol medications for more than 20 years, prompting “some ideas about where the problems were with inhaled therapies and some insight on how to fix them.”

Corcoran said his team will use the prize to hire user-experience professionals, which study the usability of a device, and software designers to produce a beta version of Nebukin.

James Ellis, a graduate student in Dr. Alexandar Star’s lab from the department of chemistry and bioengineering, led the Nanoketo team, which will develop a portable sensor for monitoring ketosis, a condition common in diabetics.

Ellis said Nanoketo will develop a handheld, breath acetone sensor for type-1 diabetics and epilepsy patients. The sensor would use the correlation between breath acetone concentration and blood ketone levels to replace the current methods of blood and urine sampling, he added.

Ellis said the team will use the prize to prepare for the application as well as build and test electronic prototypes.

Dr. Michael McClincy from the UPMC De-

The Pitt News Crossword, 11/18/2014

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ACROSS 1 Beijing trio?

5 Bridges of Hollywood 10 First name at Woodstock 14 Four Corners state 15 Seeker’s quarry 16 Send 17 *Four Corners locale 20 They may be required for rides 21 “The way things are ...”

22 Yale Bowl yeller 23 *Arctic wolf prey 27 “Four Quartets” monogram 28 Offspring: abbr.

30 Trendy cuff site 31 Awards for J.K. Rowling & Hugh Laurie 32 *Car named for a California city 37 Hawaiian Airlines destination 39 Election Day sticker 42 Nebula in Taurus, familiarly 44 Prepared for a proposal 45 Spanish shebear 46 Former upscale Manhattan eatery 48 Memorable period 49 Burst open 50 Kerfuffle 51 Halladay who won both the A.L. and N.L. Cy Young awards 52 *1965 Jane Fonda title role 58 Boris’ sidekick 61 “Raging Bull” boxer 65 Marvel Comics assassin 66 Hits hard, as the brakes 67 With 68-Across, “Later,” or, phonetically, what the answers to starred clues have 68 See 67-Across

partment of Orthopaedic Surgery led the ACL Interaction team, which will develop a Webbased tool to individualize recovery from knee injuries.

“PInCh is a celebration of the pioneering and entrepreneurial spirit of some of the brightest, most enterprising teams of visionary thinkers in and around the Pittsburgh region,” Steven E. Reis, CTSI director and associate vice chancellor for clinical research, Health Sciences, said in a UPMC release.

Corcoran collaborated with Jenna Date from the Human Computer Interaction Institute at Carnegie Mellon, who will lead the team that will research the needs of children with lung diseases and produce the device.

Corcoran said they plan to design the tool first for children with cystic fibrosis, and the team includes David Orenstein and Daniel Weiner, pediatric pulmonologists and cystic fibrosis experts from Children’s Hospital of Pittsburgh.

“We first plan to bring our designers together with children with cystic fibrosis so that they can gain a clear understanding of the role inhaled therapies play in their life and understand their perspective,” Corcoran said. “Our design will evolve from those interactions.”

11/27/14

By C.C. Burnikel

DOWN 1 Like many ventilation systems 2 “Becket” star 3 “Actions speak louder than words” 4 Flat or pump 5 High capital 6 Jar topper 7 Prefix with meter 8 “You betcha!”

9 1964 Tony Randall role 10 Piedmont wine area 11 Bonnie Blue’s dad 12 Make contact (with) 13 Musical works 18 GOP org.

19 Sun Devils’ sch.

24 Juan Carlos, por ejemplo 25 “__ the Walrus” 26 It may be backless 29 In vogue 31 Wind with keys 33 To be, to Napoleon 34 Lab container 35 Check-in delayer 36 “Concord Sonata” composer

Wednesday’s Puzzle Solved

©2014 Tribune Content Agency, LLC

37 ‘Vette roof option 38 “Now I get it” 40 Finnish architect Saarinen 41 Do-or-die time 43 Words to a black sheep 44 Small hills 47 The Snake R. runs through it 52 Like unnaturally thick makeup 53 Apropos of

11/27/14

54 Drive-__ window 55 Refrain syllables 56 Bridge master Sharif 57 Man, to Dante 58 Zombie Nation console 59 Microbrew choice 60 Ball holder 62 Sch. in Nashville 63 Slew 64 “What else?”

November 18, 2014 | The Pitt News | www.pittnews.com

EDITORIAL

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OPINIONS

Letʼs put the community back in community college In recent years, education has played a prominent role in public discourse. This fall’s gubernatorial election showcased the ongoing debate, and as the role of government in society continues to evolve, so too will education policy. But one aspect of higher education is too often neglected — the importance of community colleges.

A Nov. 14 New York Times article examined the wealth disparity between community colleges and their four-year counterparts and found that LaGuardia Community College in Queens, N.Y., which educates 50,000 students annually, was thrilled to receive a $100,000 donation last year. Such a philanthropic move is commonplace at other colleges. The article compared LaGuardia to Duke University, which educates roughly 15,000 students per year. The North Carolina university has received more than $49 million in donations this year alone. It’s an impressive number, but Duke does not even make the list of America’s 10 richest universities.

This reality is in no way highlighted to cast Duke and other liberally endowed universities in a negative light. Such philanthropic activity is admirable across the board. However, those concerned with

education quality and accessibility must work to better fund our nation’s community colleges, too.

The public and private sector must work together to ensure this. In LaGuardia’s case, government support already contributes to 69 percent of its revenue — this public assistance cannot fade. The Times referenced a recent analysis by the Center for American Progress, an education think tank, which found that community colleges in 45 states have experienced decreased funding at a moment when enrollment has increased. Hopefully, as two-year college enrollment continues to grow, so too will public funding for them.

Even with public funding, though, one cannot neglect the importance of private contributions. In fact, business, nonprofit and volunteer participation is as essential as the public purse in aiding community college students.

According to the Times, “Educational institutions and services remain the second biggest beneficiaries of philanthropy in the country, after religious organizations, but little of the money flows to community colleges, the mostly public institutions that now enroll 45 percent of the coun-

try’s undergraduates, most of them poor or working class and many of them requiring extensive remedial learning.”

If we as a nation wish to talk seriously about education accessibility, we have to account for those trying to make use of a great resource in community colleges.

Small contributions from local businesses, foundations and volunteers can play an instrumental role in community college students’ growth and development — whether through financial donations or through personal efforts, such as tutoring and advising. Community colleges are too often overlooked as a valuable educational opportunity — this mentality needs to change.

Businesses and foundations can use their means to give back to the community by contributing to, well, community colleges. The John E. Morgan Foundation is a shining example of this philanthropy. The foundation allows any qualified Tamaqua, Pa., Area high school senior to attend the Morgan Center at Lehigh Carbon Community College on full scholarship for two years. This generous gift to local students is an example of the philanthropy necessary to positively impact the local community.

Although not all businesses or foundations have the means to do what the Morgan Foundation does, they can still contribute on a small scale. Small donations add up, and if a community bands together to help its local college, not only will students prosper, but so too will the community itself. After all, a better educated workforce is advantageous to any city or town.

Furthermore, a community college education is not auspicious for just low-income students. For those not sure of future plans, attending a community college for two years can certainly be a cost-effective and rewarding experience.

As students and citizens, we must acknowledge the opportunities community colleges provide to students working to better their lives. Improving these institutions cannot solely be the job of the government’s checkbook. The private sector and volunteer organizations must play an instrumental role in not only sustaining community colleges, but also building them. If community colleges thrive, we as a nation can continue to realize the promise of quality and accessible education not for some, but for all.

Could fantasy football make you the next ‘wolf’ of Wall Street?

Elias Economou For The Pitt News The New York Stock Exchange and fantasy sports. Upon first glance, similarities between these two activities do not pop into the average person’s head — stocks and fantasy sports seem inherently different.

Yet, the idea and thought process behind any fantasy sport played on ESPN, Yahoo, etc., is equivalent to the idea traders use on ShareBuilder, TD Ameritrade’s thinkorswim or Scottrade.

Unlike fantasy sports, stocks are a scary thing for most people. The aver-

age student at Pitt is clueless about the stock market, how the market works on a basic level and why people invest their money. I’m no expert, but after two years of investing in stocks, I have scratched the surface and grasped an understanding on how the market functions.

A key financial concept one can apply to most aspects of life is to buy low and sell high. This is not tough to understand. Follow this concept, and you’ll generally come out on top of any financial situation — but this isn’t always guaranteed. Sometimes, the research you compiled about the stock looks

great, but it starts to decline right after you buy it.

To correctly determine if a stock’s price will increase in the future — effectively making you money — you have to analyze many factors about a company, such as its most recent earnings report, foreseeable acquisitions, new possible products and upcoming dates determining the release of financial statements.

This list seems rather lengthy and a bit much for an amateur stock trader to comprehend, but it’s actually extremely close, if not identical, to the list of things passionate fantasy football players do

before draft night.

Turns out that anyone who has played in a fantasy sports league has already completed everything on that list — hopefully somewhat successfully, unless every fantasy season is an upsetting one.

Passionate players in a league will do their homework before draft night.

They will research players of choice, read the right magazines and spend hours in front of the television listening to ESPN reporters discuss who will have a standout year.

Economou

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November 18, 2014 | The Pitt News | www.pittnews.com

FROM PAGE 3

ECONOMOU All of the fantasy players’ research corresponds to the ways investors determine how a stock will perform. A company’s most recent earning report is akin to looking at LeSean McCoy’s stats from last year — McCoy was the leading rusher in the NFL, which gave him heavy worth coming into this year’s fantasy draft nationwide.

THE PITT NEWS Natalie Daher Editor-in-Chief editor@pittnews.com

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Of course, previous earnings will not correctly forecast a company’s success rate 100 percent of the time, but it will render an idea. McCoy has not had the year he was projected to have, and therefore, his statistics from last year do not hold much value this year.

This is not to say that confirming every pick on draft night is like clicking the “confirm trade” button on any trading website. But comparable strategies are used in both situations to determine future play in fantasy’s case, and future

E S T A B L I S HE D 1 9 1 0

Mahita Gajanan, Managing Editor manager@pittnews.com

Danielle Fox, Assistant News Editor Harrison Kaminsky, Assistant News Editor Matt Barnes, Assistant Opinions Editor Dan Sostek, Assistant Sports Editor Jeff Ahearn, Assistant Visual Editor Zheru Liu, Multimedia Editor Joelle Smith, Social Media Editor Becca Nagy, Assistant Copy Chief Emily Hower, Assistant Layout Editor

Copy Staff

Sarah Choflet Anjuli Das Kinley Gillette Johanna Helba Emily Maccia Sam McGinley

Bridget Montgomery Sarah Mejia Shivani Pandit Michelle Reagle Michael Wilson Megan Zagorski

price in the stock’s case.

The correlation between the two investments does not stop here. In fantasy, if the starting running back gets injured, you are probably not going to be a happy camper. This will make him worthless in trades, effectively making him dead weight on your team.

Just like in stocks, if the majority of your portfolio is in one stock and that stock crashes, you are not in a good position. The key is to get out just before the crash starts to happen, effectively

Editorial Policies Single copies of The Pitt News are free and available at newsstands around campus. Additional copies can be purchased with permission of the editor in chief for $.50 each.

Opinions expressed herein are not necessarily those of the students, faculty or University administration. Opinions expressed in columns,- car toons and letters are not necessarily those of The Pitt News. Any letter - in tended for publication must be addressed to the editor, be no more than 250 words and include the writer’s name, phone number and University affiliation, if any. Letters may be sent via e-mail to letters@pittnews.com. The Pitt News reserves the right to edit any and all letters. In the event of multiple replies to an issue, The Pitt News may print one letter that represents the majority of responses. Unsigned editorials are a majority opinion of the Editorial Board, listed to the left.

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T P N S U D O K U

earning money on your investment. In fantasy, if a player is performing outstandingly well out of the blue, chances are you will put him on the market to try and get as much as you can in return.

Loads and loads of research goes into deciding whether or not Jamaal Charles will have a better year than Frank Gore.

If the same skills apply, one must ask why more interest is not put into deciding whether Netflix will outperform Apple, or vice versa?

Write to Elias at epe1@pitt.edu. advertising@pittnews.com

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Today’s difficulty level: Hard Puzzles by Dailysudoku.com

November 18, 2014 | The Pitt News | www.pittnews.com

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ARTS and ENTERTAINMENT

Designs and supplies must be assembled before the needle hits skin. Subhana Chaudhri | Staff Photographer

Get inked: a rundown of Pittsburgh’s tattoo options Kat Prosachik Staff Writer Years ago, tattoos signaled nonconformity and originality. Body art, now a very mainstream trend, is considered socially acceptable by most, especially the millennial generation.

The first evidence of tattoos were in depictions of ancient Polynesian cultures and on the statues around Easter Island. The meanings of these tattoos are widely debated, but most scholars agree that in ancient cultures, tattoos were used as a way to describe a person’s rank in their society. Different cultures had different methods of tattooing and had different tattoo types according to their traditions.

Today, needles, not a bone, are used to puncture holes in the skin for tattoos. While other technologies have advanced, so has the technology and reasoning for tattooing. They have become pieces of artwork, memorials

and identifiers — ways for people to make themselves unique.

Pew data from February 2010 shows that nearly four in 10 millennials have tattoos.

Pittsburgh offers a wide variety of tattoo shops, featuring different price ranges and design options. Below are a few featured shops and Pitt students’ stories on their tattoo experiences.

Jester’s Court 115 Oakland Ave. Phone: 412-621-2412 Hours: Monday-Saturday noon-8 p.m., Sunday noon-6 p.m.

Two artists at this location www.jesterscourttattoos.com “I walked in one random Wednesday, and the guy asked when I wanted it done. He literally drew up my tattoo and then did it in between two of my classes in an hour. It was bad-ass, and it’s my favorite tattoo I have.” — Colleen McGee, junior English literature major

Price per hour: $100 Jester’s Court South Side Location 1410 E. Carson St. Phone: 412-488-8287 Hours: Monday-Saturday noon-8 p.m.

Sunday noon-6 p.m.

Three to four artists at this location www.jesterscourttattoos.com “I thought it was really clean. It was my first tattoo, and it’s pretty small. He charged me $50, which is the minimum, so I thought the pricing was fair, too. The artist was really chill, and he kept re-doing the script on the sketch until it was exactly what I wanted. I’ve had it for two years and haven’t had an issue.”

— Rachel Sansonetti, junior communications and psychology major Price per hour: $100 In the Blood 2005 E. Carson St. Phone: 412-481-3380 Hours: Monday 1-8 p.m., Tuesday-Sat-

urday 1-9 p.m. www.inthebloodtattoo.com/contact-info “The artists and employees were personable and friendly. They were quite helpful, as well, and worked with me to hash out exactly what I wanted done. The artist who did my first tattoo was nice, understanding and good at keeping me calm through the process. That meant a lot to me, especially since it was my very first tattoo. I got both of my tattoos about a year and a half ago, and the ink has stayed well with minimal fading and blurring.” — Victoria Brown, senior in the PharmD program at the School of Pharmacy Price per hour: $100-$150 and a $60 minimum Black Cat Tattoos 3419 Butler St. Phone: 412-621-1679 Hours: Monday 11 a.m.-6 p.m., closed

Tattoo

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November 18, 2014 | The Pitt News | www.pittnews.com

ʻDumb and Dumber Toʼ brings the gags but lacks the heart Dylan Galper For The Pitt News

“Dumb and Dumber To” Directed by: Peter Farrelly, Bobby Farrelly Starring: Jim Carrey, Jeff Daniels, Rob Riggle Rated: PG-13 for crude and sexual humor, partial nudity, language and some drug references Now playing at SouthSide Works, AMC Loews Waterfront Grade: C+ When the Pantheon of great comedic filmmakers is erected, it’s hard to say whether Bobby and Peter Farrelly will be there.

The siblings’ filmmaking career, while never less than interesting, can be summed up with the phrase “hit-or-miss,” featuring flops like “Kingpin,” “Hall Pass” and “The Three Stooges,” and hits like “There’s

Something About Mary” and “Stuck on You.” Given this list, one thing does seem to be clear: the Farrellys’ films work best when their vile sense of humor is complemented by an undeniable sweetness. It is this wellintentioned crudeness that made “There’s Something About Mary” and “Stuck on You” work so well, and it’s the same reason why Judd Apatow’s films, such as “The 40 Year Old Virgin” and “Knocked Up,” along with those of his disciples, such as “Superbad,” “I Love You, Man” and “Get Him to the Greek,” are some of the most critically and commercially successful comedies of the last decade.

It should come as no surprise that the Farrelly brothers, one of the first practitioners of this style, used it to great effect in their first film “Dumb and Dumber,” which grossed over $200 million worldwide in 1994 and has since amassed an enormous cult following. Unfortunately, two decades of superior buddy comedies has not been kind to the pair of lovable losers. Apatow and his contemporaries have leaned heavier on the heart, so we’ve come to expect more

than just a collection of sharp, quick gags.

Yes, Lloyd Christmas (Jim Carrey) and Harry Dunne (Jeff Daniels) are back for another ludicrous adventure in “Dumb and Dumber To” after spending the last 20 years at a nursing home — Lloyd as a patient and Harry as the man voluntarily in charge of changing Lloyd’s diaper. After Lloyd admits that his formative years spent at the nursing home were not the result of trauma he suffered after his failed relationship with “Mary Samsonite,” but was instead an elaborate ruse to fool Harry, Harry tells Lloyd that he is in dire need of a new kidney.

Harry finds a possible kidney source on an old postmark from a girlfriend in high school, telling him that he impregnated her and that she gave up his daughter for adoption. After this, the two screwballs embark on another road trip to track down Harry’s daughter and ask for her kidney. Once they find out the name and address of her adoptive parents, they visit the house only to find that she has already left to speak at a conference on behalf of her father, a science

professor too sick to attend for himself. The two head to the conference with a package entrusted to them by the professor, which purportedly contains a world-changing invention worth billions, a package highly coveted by his gold-digger wife (Laurie Holden) and her boyfriend (Rob Riggle).

If the true measure of a screwball comedy is the number of times I laughed, then “Dumb and Dumber To” fared well. The movie holds the attention well enough and keeps the jokes coming at a more than adequate pace. Fans of the original should have no trouble enjoying this one as well, as Carrey, Daniels and the Farrelly Brothers all stay true to the original, straying little from what made it so appealing, namely the promise of incredibly stupid friends doing funny, imprudent things.

But if there is one thing we have learned from the abrasive but tender comedies of the last decade, it’s that this type of comedy can be so much more than just a series of

Dumb & Dumber

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November 18, 2014 | The Pitt News | www.pittnews.com FROM PAGE 6

FROM PAGE 5

REVIEW

TATTOO

clever gags and sketches. Perhaps the most important reason why the Apatow class of comedies works so well is that the style allows the performers room to be funny.

Rather than orchestrating a collection of funny skits, the filmmakers take a step back and trust the performers to be funny without the aid of a highly calculated script. One of the important side effects of this approach is that it allows for a deeper connection to the performers on screen. While the two filmmakers’ styles may be similar in certain ways, this is one incredibly important area where they diverge. And suddenly, what seemed innovative and fresh in 1994 seems like a little old hat today.

Tuesday-Wednesday, Thursday-Saturday 11 a.m.-6 p.m. Sunday 12:30-6 p.m. blackcatpgh.com/ “Cara did a piece of mine that took about 3.5 hours and charged $250, which is definitely more than fair. Super friendly, and she explained every part of the process. Any time she had stopped for a bit, she’d let me know when she was starting again. Very professional.” — JD Schroeder, Pitt alumnus Price per hour: $150 South Side Tattoo and Body Piercing 2208 E. Carson St. Phone: 412-381-5401 Hours: Monday-Friday noon-9 p.m., Saturday 11 a.m.-9 p.m., Sunday noon-6 p.m.

Dan Willis Staff Writer

Quarts — as in quarter-gallons of butter substitutes.

So Content Nausea is not just another peek into the ceaseless maelstrom of lead vocalist and guitarist Andrew Savage’s mind, but it is a challenge to avid listeners everywhere.

Why does Parquet Courts need another band?

These Brooklyn-via-Eastern Texas punks are frequently (lazily) called “slackers,” mostly because they’re making guitar rock in 2014 — a task they refer to in the liner notes of the Tally All the Things That You Broke EP as “teaching a dying dog new tricks” — but

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Four artists www.southsidetattooshop.com “I was the first female tattoo artist in Pittsburgh and the first woman to own a tattoo shop in the state of Pennsylvania. At that time, tattooing was a man’s thing. I started tattooing about 20 years ago, after working in my brother’s tattoo shop. We get a lot of college students in here. You can definitely tell when it’s finals week because it’s just dead in here.

Every single one of our artists are completely well-rounded, so that anyone who walks in can go to one of our artists and know that they are getting a great tattoo. Most of what we do is custom work, though some still come in for flash.” — Veronica Ray, owner and artist of South Side Tattoo and Body Piercing $50 minimum Kyklops Tattoo and Body Piercing 2130 E. Carson Street

Phone: 412-488-8200 Hours: Monday 10 a.m.-9 p.m., Tuesday noon-9 p.m., Wednesday-Thursday 10 a.m.-9 p.m., Friday-Saturday noon-10 p.m., Sunday noon-6 p.m.

Three artists www.kyklops.com “Every tattoo artist can work in the different styles, but I would say that Richie and Pete do more American traditional tattoos, while I do a lot of just pretty tattoos, photo realism and Japanese-style tattoos. Kyklops has been here for eight years now, and I’ve been here for most of that time. We do mostly custom work because it seems that most people think flash is unoriginal, though I think that’s a misconception. I got started in 2005 through an apprenticeship, which is how most tattoo artists start.” — Erin Hosfield, tattoo artist at Kyklops

that couldn’t be further from the truth. No one feels as close to writing a manifesto as Parquet Courts. It’s a band that never misses soundcheck, a band with felt-tip portraits of Dmitri Shostakovich on its T-shirts. Parquet Courts reads books. And as a result of its intellect, we trust the band.

But intellect is a tricky thing these days, because it tempers itself. Our respect for the mind is bolstered by its humor, humility and transparency, but hindered by selfacknowledgement, or naïve pragmatism.

Nietzsche is a punchline — or a convenient name drop. The “real” intellectuals are those whose unalphabetized, unkempt personal libraries you peruse as they grab you a can of beer, to find that their dog-eared Kundera is hardly visible under their Prisoner of Azkaban, and that their Stockhausen records are right next to one of those weird vinyl hip-hop compilations with voluptuous cartoon ladies on the cover, which you’re not sure who pressed. That’s why the combination of stodgy poetics and flippant punk attitude works so well for Parquet Courts.

Its tedious, barbaric yawp

carries very well over the dull jangle of “indie rock.”

Sunbathing Animal is a masterfully sequenced collection of hesitant garage-rock tunes, built on pillars of urban anxiety and billowing out with despair. And the way it blends speech, sprechgesang, stutters, raps, yells, screams, mumbles and song with wildly varying degrees of intelligibility only helps make its desperation cut deeper. Even instrumentally, the album is an arena of struggle — the guitar solos sound like disagreements between musician and uncooperative instrument, between artist and the limitations of medium.

But Sunbathing Animal was also a bit dull and took itself too seriously. The band took months getting it to sound as precisely rough-hewn as it does, and God knows how careful the band was about placing its nods to Duchamp and Prokofiev in those tiresome one-chord tunes. Meanwhile, Content Nausea went from first take to final mix in about a week. So it’s tempting to say that it’s a throwaway, or at least a knowing nod to artists who have mastered the throwaway. But to say that a less laborious piece of art is therefore less valuable doesn’t hold up. The distinction between Parkay and Parquet is more akin to the difference between a mixtape and an album — equally successful, with different definitions of success.

For all of Sunbathing Animal’s themes of

However you spell it, Parquet Courts deliver the goods

Two bands released two albums this year.

I know that doesn’t sound that impressive, but this story gets slightly more complicated.

I would like to say that the two excellent albums Sunbathing Animal, released in June, and Content Nausea, released in November, are both albums by Parquet Courts — as in geometric hardwood flooring — but the band insists that the latter was recorded and released by its homophonic alter-egos Parkay

Parquet Courts, performing at 2013’s Austin City Limits Festival. TNS

Parquet

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November 18, 2014 | The Pitt News | www.pittnews.com

SPORTS

Joseph Uchebo continues rehabilitation ahead of season Jeremy Tepper Staff Writer Joseph Uchebo, a 6-foot-10-inch junior center for the Pitt men’s basketball team, has been rehabilitating for more than a year since having microfracture surgery at Chipola Junior College. He hasn’t made a full recovery, handicapping himself at 60-70 percent currently. Doctors have told him that he’ll always have to deal with pain, so he’ll never make a full recovery.

In hindsight, though, Uchebo is enthralled with 60-70 percent. At one point during his time at Chipola, that seemed unattainable.

“I didn’t even expect to be that great, but they’re doing a great job here,” Uchebo said.

The idea of a “full recovery” after surgery — especially a major one — is a flawed concept. After a surgery to address a dislocation, fracture, break or any other injury, rehabilitation is needed for the body part to reach its pre-injury capacity.

With microfracture surgery, a full recovery requires a long, strenuous rehabilitation — four to six months, sometimes longer.

Even then, many don’t ever regain their preinjury range of motion.

Microfracture surgery requires a surgeon to use a small needle to make tiny punctures in a joint surface of the knee, such as the femur, tibia or patella.

Numerous major athletes — mostly basketball players — have required the surgery. Jamal Mashburn, a one-time NBA all-star who endured chronic knee problems, had microfracture surgery in 2004 and was forced to retire in 2006 without recovering. Amar’e Stoudemire made five all-star games after having the surgery in 2005 but deeply regretted it, saying “When I went through the recovery, one day I feel great and the next day I’m in excruciating pain. It was just back and forth.”

But there’s more to Uchebo than his injury history.

Uchebo has taken a circuitous path to college basketball. A native of Nigeria, Uchebo played his senior year at Word of God Christian Academy in Raleigh, N.C.

For a while, everything seemed to be working according to plan. Uchebo dominated, producing a double-double nearly every game in the early parts of his freshman season.

But it soon went downhill.

Around winter break, Uchebo landed on a player’s foot and tweaked his knee during a game. It wasn’t a major injury, and he was able to play through it without it having a major degradation in his play. But soon after, he aggravated the knee again, bumping knees with another player in Chipola’s first conference game. Again, Uchebo played through the injury.

“From everything the doctors Joseph Uchebo played 10 minutes against Samford on Suntold us, he couldn’t day . Heather Tennant | Staff Photographer hurt it any worse playOriginally a top-100 prospect in the class ing on it the last five or six games,” said of 2011, he committed to play for North Patrick Blake, Chipola’s head coach.

Carolina State.

Immediately, it was clear that the injury He wasn’t able to qualify for the 2011 severely affected Uchebo, and he was unseason, though, so he chose to play for Chi- able to run or jump without pain. Despite pola Junior College in Marianna, Fla., until the pain, Uchebo pushed through the rest his transcript could pass through the NCAA of the season through advisement from his Clearinghouse to gain eligibility. coaches.

It was a logical move for Uchebo. He But after the season, an MRI revealed would get his transcript in order while that he needed microfracture surgery for also improving upon his basketball skills his right knee. The main injury came in his in the process. He’d lose a year of college lack of cartilage between his kneecap, which eligibility for every season he played there, caused him extreme pain. He also needed but that wasn’t a concern. One or two years his meniscus cleaned up because of a prior and he’d be out. injury, which doctors determined occurred before his time at Chipola.

Following the surgery, Uchebo was in for one of the most difficult rehabilitations in sports. He’d have to be physically tough to bear the process, though mostly he’d need mental strength. Even when his progress seemed minimal, he’d have to keep his spirits up and push through.

“He’s a competitor,” Blake said. “He works hard, he has a great work ethic.”

Daily rehabilitation was necessary to optimize the recovery from microfracture surgery.

“When you’re coming back from an injury, every day is a rehab day,” said Tim Beltz, Pitt men’s basketball assistant strength and conditioning coach.

In that sense, Uchebo wasn’t coming close to optimizing the rehab process at Chipola. Because his physical therapy was outside of school, he needed his coaches to drive him there. They had other obligations, and Uchebo was usually only able to make it there twice a week — sometimes not at all for the week. The subsequent results were predictable.

“No, no, it wasn’t [getting better]. I couldn’t even stay up on my own. I had to walk one leg at a time,” Uchebo said.

Due to his lack of progress, Uchebo was redshirted his sophomore year. Unsurprisingly, he received sparse interest from major Division I schools.

Pre-injury, coaches rushed to give their pitches to him. After the injury, he seemed like damaged goods to most. However, some schools believed in his talent and ability to recover from the injury. Pitt was one of those schools.

“When coach [Jamie] Dixon came down, he knew that I was a great player,” Uchebo said. “They already knew the deal. If they get me to 70, 80 percent, I will be a good player.”

After taking official visits to Pitt and Minnesota, Uchebo decided on Pitt. There was mutual trust, and that combined with Pitt’s top-end medical staff was enough for him to make the decision.

“Being from Nigeria, trust is a big thing for Joe,” Blake said. “Communication and being up-front and honest about everything.

I think [at Pitt] Joe just felt most at home.”

November 18, 2014 | The Pitt News | www.pittnews.com

Pitt in the NFL: Donald sacks Manning in upset win

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receive, he ran for 88 yards and zero scores. McCoy still only has two rushing touchdowns this season.

New England Patriots corner Darrelle Revis reAaron Donald had a memorable week 11 in his first corded three tackles in the team’s win over Andrew season in the NFL, as other former Panthers had to Luck and the Indianapolis Colts on Sunday. He did adjust to new quarterbacks running their offenses. not make an interception for the second straight The rookie and former Pitt defensive tackle regame, and remains with only two for the year. corded a sack on future Hall-of-Fame quarterback However, the debate continues when a defensive Peyton Manning. He also added three tackles in the back has few interceptions whether it’s poor play St. Louis Rams’ 22-7 upset over the Denver Broncos. on his part, or if the offense is actively avoiding On a Rams defense that has not recorded many sacks throwing it his way. The Patriots are back in control this season, Donald has stood out and is continuing to of the AFC with the losses by the Broncos and Colts, generate buzz about being a contender for Defensive and they sit at 8-2 on the year.

Rookie of the Year.

The tandem of former Pitt defenders playing Meanwhile, wide receiver Larry Fitzgerald began on the Cleveland Browns totaled 12 tackles in the his transition to a new quarterback Sunday with Drew team’s 23-7 loss to the Houston Texans Sunday.

Stanton replacing Carson Palmer, who tore his ACL Linebacker Jabaal Sheard had four tackles, while the week prior. Fitzgerald had only two catches for 33 rookie cornerback K’Waun Williams added the yards in the contest, but one of those catches was a other eight. Williams now has 25 tackles on the crucial first-down play to extend the team’s drive and season, ranking him 11th on the team in that catensure it won the game. His Arizona Cardinals beat egory. He trails Sheard, who has 36. The two have the Detroit Lions, 14-6 to improve to an impressive combined for three sacks this season as well.

9-1 this season.

Punter Andy Lee had a moderately good day, Fitzgerald has not played as big a role in that as far as punting statistics go. The longtime NFL Aaron Donald sacked Peyton Manning on Sunday in the Rams’ win dominance this year as many had expected, as the veteran made four total punts on Sunday against over the Broncos. MCT Campus veteran wide receiver has taken a bit of a backseat the New York Giants, three of which ended up inrole to young wide receiver Michael Floyd and running back Mark Sanchez has replaced Nick Foles who is out with a side the opponent’s 20-yard line. He averaged 46.8 yards Andre Ellington. broken collarbone. The Eagles got themselves into an early per punt, which is his best mark in the past three games.

LeSean McCoy also had to cope with a new quarterback hole against the Green Bay Packers and were forced to throw Coincidentally, his San Francisco 49ers beat the Giants 16running the up-tempo offense of his Philadelphia Eagles. the ball for most of the game. With the 23 attempts McCoy did 10 to move to 6-4 on the season.

Chris Puzia Sports Editor

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November 18, 2014 | The Pitt News | www.pittnews.com

Freshman Carey scores 17 as Pitt wins first game of season Chris Puzia Sports Editor After a major second-half run by Princeton on Friday, Pitt head coach Suzie McConnell-Serio used a full-court press with minutes left in the game, in an attempt to turn things around.

She wasted no time using that tactic Monday night, and she had her players press from nearly the start of the game.

This pressure forced 19 turnovers on its opponent, Niagara, en route to a 70-54 Pitt victory at the Petersen Events Center.

“When we picked up our defensive pressure [against Princeton], we were able to create scoring off of our defense,” McConnell-Serio said. “We wanted to come out and set the tone from the beginning of the game.”

But the Panthers (1-1, 0-0 ACC) started the first half Monday the same way they started the second half Friday.

The team missed its first nine shots of the game, including four on its first possession.

Three of those first four shots were three-pointers and, for the second straight game, Pitt’s first points eventually came from freshman forward Stasha Carey hitting a three-point shot.

McConnell-Serio said Carey was “fun to watch” on Monday.

“We have high expectations for her because we’ve seen her in practice,” she added. “I told her I would have kept her in the game if she was close to a 20-20.”

While Carey didn’t get the 20-point, FROM PAGE 7

PARQUET captivity and freedom, the band sounded captive in not just its sound palette, but also its intellect. The band was trying to avoid the sophomore slump, and Content Nausea is a subsequent sigh of relief. It’s a repository for all the things the band has been meaning to do, whether that means pulling out songs from long-defunct side-projects, recording in basements on cassette 4-tracks or going

20-rebound game, she did finish with a team-high 17 points and 16 rebounds.

“I started out not [not feeling like I would play as well as I did], but as the game went on, I felt better,” Carey said.

Pitt seemed to want to establish an early rhythm from long range, as its first nine points came from three-point territory.

In its season opener, Pitt did not begin to use a full-court press until it was in desperation mode with a few minutes left. But on Monday, McConnell-Serio said she had her team press to start the game out because she didn’t want to “give [Niagara] 25 seconds to run its offense.”.

Midway through the first half, senior point guard Brianna Kiesel drove to the basket, but was blocked from behind by Niagara center Donisha Watson, who had words for Kiesel after the play. She was given a technical foul, and Kiesel made the two resulting free throws.

Pitt seemed to have no answer for Niagara forward Val McQuade at the start of the game. The senior went 4-of-4 from three-point range in the first half and finished the game with 19 points. However, Pitt held her to five points in the second half.

Pitt took a 38-25 lead into halftime on the energy of an 11-1 run over the last 3:42 of the half. Despite the double-digit lead, the Panthers shot only 29 percent in the first half compared to 41 percent by Niagara. They made up for it by taking nearly twice as many first-half shots.

While Pitt also had a halftime lead

on Friday, an early Princeton run ended its chances of winning.

Forward Monica Wignot said the team wanted to “try to forget Friday ’s game happened.”

Niagara (0 2, 0-0 MAAC) did not seriously threaten Pitt for most of the second half, and the Panthers maintained a doubledigit lead and built it to a gamehigh 26.

Pitt appeared to establish a much better offensive rhythm than its season opener just three days before. Late in the half, senior center Cora McManus received the Stasha Carey scored a team-high 17 points Monday night. ball deep in the Meghan Sunners | Staff Photographer post, and she passed it smoothly to a cutting Yacine Diop, percent in the game. The Panthers rewho finished with an easy layup. ally made their mark on the free throw Kiesel finished with five points and line, taking 11 more foul shots than the three assists. Wignot finished with 12 Purple Eagles and shooting 74 percent points and eight rebounds. from the foul line.

Neither team shot particularly well The team next plays Thursday at 7 for the game, as Pitt completed just 32 p.m. against Michigan at the Petersen percent of its shots and Niagara shot 35 Events Center.

full-on free-jazz poetry slam. Anyone who disagrees can try slipping Content Nausea’s bizarre cover of “These Boots Are Made for Walkin’” into Sunbathing Animal’s tracklist.

It won’t work.

But it’s not totally free from art-school pedantry. Themes of Southern hospitality, World War IV, and the “anti-social media” cliché pop up in surprisingly stony-faced ways amid all the left-hooks and self-parodies. And the sound quality is stunningly clear for brief moments, such as on the dry and wiry opener “Everyday It Starts.” But we’ve come to expect

that from any of Savage’s projects, not just the masterpiece of restraint that is Sunbathing Animal. Here’s the difference: Like an overstuffed Thanksgiving tablemate, that album forced as much as possible into a very small space, and it made the struggle a part of the art. It follows, then, that Content Nausea is the loosening of the belt. And it’s a mess. A brilliant, well-deserved mess. It subsumes all the band’s previous tendencies while reaching out to new and undocumented affinities. It’s a second great album by a second great band.