4-19-23

The Pitt News

‘WE CAN CREATE A BETTER WORLD’:

HOLOCAUST SURVIVOR DISCUSSES

GROWING UP IN BULGARIA, COMBATING ANTISEMITISM

Donata Massimiani Senior Staff Writer

When Bulgaria joined the Axis alliance in World War II, Holocaust survivor Albert Farhy heard a strange noise outside the apartment he lived in with his family in Bulgaria. He soon realized the noise came from a lot of people marching through the streets, shouting the phrase “Death to the Jews, Death to America.”

“The fear that I felt, I never in my life felt again,” Farhy said. “I was feeling that this is the end, they are coming here to kill us.”

Hillel at Pitt, Zachor, Chabad at Pitt and Alpha Epsilon Pi teamed up to host two days of Holocaust remembrance programming in honor of Yom HaShoah. They concluded Monday’s events with a conversation with Farhy at the Hillel Jewish University Center of Pittsburgh in Oakland. During the conversation, Farhy discussed his experience as a teenager living in Bulgaria during the Holocaust and answered questions from attendees.

Ilan Gordon, a sophomore exercise science major and co-president of Zachor, said it’s important to remember the victims of the Holocaust and their stories in order to “never let something similar ever happen again.” He said Zachor strives to end antisemitism one post, one meeting, one event and one story at a time.

“With your help, we can create a better world for everyone with less bigotry, racism and hate,” Gordon said.

Farhy said during the rise of Adolf Hitler, anSee Holocaust on page 7

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FREE SPEECH EXPERTS DECISION TO ALLOW

Punya Bhasin News Editor

For Jon Pushinsky, a lawyer and an adjunct professor of law at Pitt who teaches a First Amendment class, the “way to battle hate speech is to counter it with good speech, not to stop the speaker.”

“The University is certainly permitted to express its own opinions,” Pushinsky. “What they can’t do is allow students to express one side of an issue and not allow the other side.”

Throughout the past month, three “antitrans” speakers — Riley Gaines, Cabot Phillips and Michael Knowles — have inspired large protests on campus and spurred conversations about free speech and Pitt’s responsibility to protect LGBTQ+ students. On Tuesday, Pitt’s College Republicans and the Intercollegiate Studies Institute hosted Knowles to debate Brad Polumbo on the topic, “Should transgenderism be regulated by law?” in the O’Hara Ballroom. Knowles recently called for an eradication of “transgenderism.”

Four legal experts offer their opinions on Pitt’s decision to allow the events to continue, despite the University receiving significant pushback from students and lawmakers.

In terms of whether the University could face legal repercussions if it canceled the “anti-trans” events, some first amendment experts have varying viewpoints on the answer, but they agree that the University is upholding the principles of free speech and the First Amendment.

Bruce Ledewitz, a law professor at Duquesne University and a free speech expert, said he believes that the University’s response was “cowardice.”

“I think they’re protecting the idea of free exchange of ideas, and they don’t have the courage to face the student, the trans students, and say, even though genuinely this casts your very identity into question, we still feel that this speaker has a right to speak,” Ledewitz said. “They’re just unwilling to honestly say that and you know, they should honestly say it, because I think the students could respect that.”

When asked if the University was legally able to cancel the “anti-trans” events, University spokesperson Jared Stonesifer said “as a general matter, under the First Amendment, public universities that permit student organizations to invite speakers to campus can’t discriminate against any particular speaker

chosen by a student organization on the basis of the speaker’s viewpoint.”

“For this reason, the University generally cannot preemptively reject or block speakers that have been invited to speak as part of campus events hosted by recognized student organizations solely because of the views that may be expressed by the speaker — even if those views may be offensive or run contrary to the values held by the University — so long as the speaker is engaging in constitutionally protected speech,” Stonesifer added.

Ledewitz said he thinks Pitt should uphold the First Amendment by allowing the events to continue. However, he said there isn’t a legal precedent set by specific court cases that forbids a university from making “a judgment call” when it comes to allowing speakers on campus.

“I am not aware of any instance in which a university has been forbidden from making a judgment call that a particular speaker is so offensive, so much advocating illegal conduct or so denigrating the groups of vulnerable people, that this person simply should not be permitted on campus,” Ledewitz said.

He said some universities have made these “judgment calls” to allow or not allow controversial speakers to speak on campus — citing the Penn State Proud Boys event.

Penn State University canceled an event featuring Proud Boys founder Gavin McInnes less than an hour before its scheduled start on October 24, citing a threat of violence. Protestors and counter-protesters confronted each other, causing campus police to deem the event too dangerous to proceed.

Daxton Stewart, a lawyer who specializes in free speech and a professor of journalism at Texas Christian University, said Penn State’s inability to provide proper security and decision to cancel the event was handled “poorly.”

“Penn State probably acted negligently or inappropriately in allowing it to go as bad as it did with the security measures, and then also was pretty bad in its shutting down of the speech portions,” Stewart said.

Stewart said there are only narrow exceptions to the First Amendment for public institutions, including obscenity, hardcore pornography, false advertising, directed threats of violence and fighting words — none of which Stewart said legally pertain to the recent “antitrans” events at Pitt.

“The First Amendment is not a right not to

Artists: Lucius Kirst, JoAnna Schmidt

Photo: Rieder Photography

Restrictions may apply. Tickets will be held at the Benedum Box Office. Must show valid Pitt ID.

WEIGH IN ON UNIVERSITY’S ‘ANTI-TRANS’ EVENTS

be offended,” Stewart said. “The first time it has a right to speak, it belongs to the speaker, and so if the university is going to accommodate speakers in general, they have to make that available to basically all speakers, regardless of their viewpoint.”

In an email sent to students on March 22, Dean Carla Panzella said “this is not the first time, nor will it be the last, that controversial speakers visit Pitt’s campus.” Panzella added that she understands Pitt’s policy to “uphold the principle of protected speech will not feel sufficient to some in our community.”

“If you disagree with these speakers and you choose to act, then you can participate in a peaceful counter demonstration or engage in productive dialogue with others, or an organization you are part of can host a counter speaker,” Panzella said. “Your voices are powerful.”

Zach Greenberg, senior program officer at the Foundation for Individual Rights and Expression who specializes in campus rights advocacy, said the University has an “obligation” to uphold the First Amendment.

“The University has an obligation to allow the speaker to come and allow the group to have its own right to express themselves through their speaker, and this is because the First Amendment encourages students to react to speakers using their own speech, their own events, their own dialogue, debate discussion, rather than through censorship and shutting down opposing speakers,” Greenberg said.

Greenberg added that hate speech lacks a clear definition.

“One of the issues with hateful speech is that it lacks a clear definition, what’s hateful to me not being hateful to you, and so generally offensive speech — hateful speech — is protected by the First Amendment. Universities have to allow the speech to occur on its college campus, on their campuses,” Greenberg said.

Stewart said both the presence of protests and allowing controversial speakers on campus are examples of Pitt upholding the First Amendment. His recommendation for students who are angry with the events is “combatting speech with speech.”

Despite the events being “protected speech” in line with the First Amendment, there are still some ways Pitt could potentially cancel the event, according to the experts.

Stewart said if the University canceled the

event, it could potentially claim “qualified immunity,” which protects public officials and institutions from facing legal repercussions, even if courts rule that they violated the First Amendment.

“Often public officials will claim this doctrine called qualified immunity, which is where they say ‘we were unsure whether we were breaking the law or not by doing this, we thought we were acting in good faith, we relied on that advice of counsel,’” Stewart said. “So a court may say, ‘Yes, you violated the First Amendment rights, but no, you don’t owe them any money because you’re immune under this doctrine.’”

Pushinsky said the statute of limitations for an organization to sue a university for limiting free speech is about two years. Pushinsky added that if a university canceled an event due to the content of the speech, the plaintiff would have a “very good probability of winning.”

Pushinsky said there are two things that are commonly considered when determining the regulation of speech in a public institution.

“Advocacy of violence by itself is protected by the First Amendment — what is not protected is advocacy of or incitement designed to produce imminent, lawless action,” Pushinsky said. “Unless they say something to the effect of ‘when you leave here today, pick up a bat and go bash someone’s head, and here’s the bat to do it with,’ the speech in the events is considered protected speech.”

Pushinsky said there are a couple repercussions for violating free speech rules including injunctive relief — where the University would have to provide a future date for the speech to take place — or monetary compensation. Pushinsky added that the more substantial financial repercussions involve paying the opposing side’s lawyer fees.

While the experts agreed that the University is upholding its duty as an academic institution to allow free speech and discourse, Ledewitz said the University’s statements seem a “bit hypocritical in hiding behind the First Amendment,” and advised that the University be up front about their judgment in allowing the speakers on campus.

“If they are giving the impression that they’re legally powerless to act, they’re being hypocritical, and they should defend robust speech, not as a legal matter, but as a desirable goal for a university,” Ledewitz said.

Michael Knowles and Brad Polumbo, a “libertarian-conservative journalist” debated the question “Should transgenderism be regulated by law?” Tuesday evening in the O’Hara Student Center. Students and community members held two protests on Tuesday. Pitt police issued an emergency alert for a “public safety emergency” at the later protest outside O’Hara.

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Amaya Lobato | Staff Photographer

Amaya Lobato | Staff Photographer

Ethan Shulman | Senior Staff Photographer

Kaylee Uribe | Staff Photographer

5 LOCAL COFFEE SPOTS TO GET YOU THROUGH FINALS

People sit inside of Redhawk Coffee on Meyran Avenue.

Amaya Lobato | Staff Photographer

t o l o c a l b a r s , r e s t a u r a n t s , h o t e l s , c l u b s , s t o r e s , e t c .

D E L I V E R Y H E L P E R S

– H e a v y l i f t i n g i n v o l v e d

– H e l p l o a d / u n l o a d t r u c k s

W A R E H O U S E H E L P

– H e a v y l i f t i n g i n v o l v e d

It’s that time of year again — and no, we’re not talking about allergy season. We are officially in the time when there are no available tables at Hillman, the weather is too inconsistent for students to set up a study spot outside and people are running on nothing but caffeine and the pressure of quickly approaching deadlines.

Students are even more stressed when they can’t find that perfect spot to jam out that final paper or study a whole semester’s worth of information for next week’s final. Not to worry, because there are plenty of local spots offering both working outlets and coffee that can sponsor your final grades.

Here are the best coffee spots on and near campus for your comfy seating and caffeine addiction needs.

1. YINZ Coffee

An authentic Pittsburgh joint, given the name — YINZ Coffee has multiple locations, one of which is a quick 10-minute bus ride over to Friendship on Baum Boulevard. With modern decor and neutral blue walls, YINZ Coffee is a calm and quiet space for studying. It has ample seating and several tables for a productive study sesh, and it isn’t super crowded because of its distance from campus.

It offers plenty of outlets for when your laptop is on its last leg and lots of drink options, including the 412, a $5.75 espresso frappe with whipped cream for both a kick of energy and a nice treat to reward yourself for writing an entire page.

2. Redhawk Coffee

Located right near Pitt’s campus on Meyran Avenue, Pittsburgh-based Redhawk Coffee is a campus favorite for good reason. The little shop boasts wooden floors and tables with red accents and, on the dryer, sunnier days, outdoor tables to get in some much-needed vitamin D.

It has a simple drink menu perfect for those who just need some freshly brewed coffee or a creamy latte. Definitely snag a spot by the big window that gives the place relaxing natural light so you can take a break from

– D a y l i g h t a n d n i g h t s h i f t s a v a i l a b l e – S e l l i n g b e e r t o t h e p u b l i c , a n s w e r i n g p h o n e c a l l s , g e t t i n g o r d e r s r e a d y f o r p i c k u p

studying by people-watching the streets of Oakland — pastry optional.

3. KLVN Coffee Lab

If students need a break from the typical cozy coffee joint and want a more modern, industrial vibe, KLVN is a great place to visit. Located in East Liberty, a short ride on any 71 bus will take you right there.

With funky tables and seating, clear garage doors and potted plants, it’s a good alternative to the usual study spot. It’s great for studying those notecards and knocking out the practice quizzes without the temptation of curling up in the corner with a good book instead. It has ample outlets for students to get comfortable and spend some time basking in the sunlight and breathing in the fresh air.

4. Divvy Coffee & Buns

Another campus spot, Divvy Coffee & Buns is tucked in the heart of Oakland — right in between Stack’d and CHiKN. Divvy is the perfect spot for students who need more than caffeine to get through the week, as its expansive menu features both savory and sweet homemade treats.

Students can fuel up on its famous breakfast sandwich or treat themselves with a much-deserved sweet bun that Divvy makes fresh daily. With a modern and chic feel, the local spot has lots of seating and is great for both the vibes and the snacks.

5.

Sometimes students just simply don’t have time to venture off campus and need a spot they can get to by walking a couple blocks. The classic, consistent and beloved Amos Hall Starbucks is the answer.

Grab a quad-shot of espresso and snag a spot by the window so you can watch the PRT buses fly by and the dead-behind-the-eyes expressions of fellow students returning to their dorms. If you get hungry, its sandwiches are a good solution to the afternoon slump, and you don’t even have to abandon your spot. With plenty of seating, outlets and good music, there’s nothing unpredictable about Amos Hall Starbucks.

– B u i l d i n g o r d e r s , l o a d i n g t r u c k s

O F F I C E H E L P – D a y l i g h t h o u r s – A n s w e r i n g p h o n e s , t a k i n g o r d e r s , c r e a t i n g i n v o i c e s , f i l i n g , e t c .

Starbucks

Maria Scanga

Senior Staff Writer

Ben Pisano Staff Writer

Many dreamers call Pitt home. From medical researchers who want to cure debilitating diseases to young quarterbacks from New Jersey who hope to play in the NFL someday — even lowly student paper sports columnists who aspire to write for the big screen.

Justin Connolly, who goes by Cassius King, dreams of competing in the Olympics for Taekwondo.

Making it to the Olympics takes years of hard work and a little bit of luck. Even with the odds stacked against him, King is diligently preparing for the Team USA National Talent Identification Camp later this year.

King started practicing martial arts when he was seven years old at his mother’s suggestion.

“I was ushered into it by my mom because she wanted me to be able to defend myself,” King, a junior psychology major, said. “There were some bullies growing up.”

After years of training under the tutelage of Lou Bachetti — a martial arts instructor who teaches at Newtown Karate Academy in Bucks County, Pennsylvania — King worked his way up to a second degree black belt.

Bachetti, a fourth degree black belt who specializes in Tang Soo Do, said King’s relentless willingness to learn distinguished him as a pupil.

“His greatest strength is his curiosity,” Bachetti said. “As we were training, he would constantly be asking questions, and he would use that information to enhance his training.”

In his first semester at Pitt, King started training remotely with Stephen Lambdin — a strength and conditioning coach for Team USA and former Olympic athlete who represented the United States in Rio in 2016. King initially contacted Lambdin through direct messages on Instagram.

“How it happened was I reached out to [Lambdin] on Instagram,” King said. “And he oversees athletic development at the training center in Colorado. He’s been training me online for the fall national talent camp.”

Now, in addition to attending school full time, King is learning Olympic-style taekwondo from the cramped conditions of his dorm room in Lothrop Hall.

CASSIUS KING AIMS FOR A SPOT ON THE OLYMPIC TAEKWONDO TEAM

“There are some martial arts places around,” King said. “But they don’t really cater to the Olympic style of taekwondo.”

While taekwondo is a Korean martial art that dates back thousands of years, competitive taekwondo is a relatively new addition to the Olympic categories, debuting at the 2000 Summer Olympics in Sydney. Traditional taekwondo is catered toward self-defense, while Olympic taekwondo revolves around points earned from well-placed strikes against opponents.

“I’m very new to this whole thing,” King said. “I’ve been training in martial arts for over a decade, but this specific style of taekwondo is a little bit new to me.”

While qualifying is incredibly difficult, Bachetti argues that making it to the Olympic level requires consistency above all else.

“This really transcends to anything,” Bachetti said. “You can’t be on and off. You have to be on all the time. That on button can be slower sometimes, but it can’t stop. And that's the biggest problem with people when they train is they'll stop and they're inconsistent. And once they're inconsistent, that's when they start to fail or lose that forward momentum.”

King echoed Bachetti’s sentiments about the merits of consistent effort, but added that enjoying the process is also conducive to long-term success.

“Enjoying what you do is very important,” King said. “You could have all the talent and skills in the world, but if you don't really enjoy doing it, I don't think that it's something that you should continue doing.”

Carole Connolly, King’s mother, praised her son for his relentless motivation, even though at one point King considered quitting the sport altogether.

“He had thought about stopping karate, but then decided to get his black belt and then his second degree black belt after that,” Connolly said. “I was very proud about that and I’m just proud in general as far as him being a kind, gentle human being.”

Only 128 fighters will compete in the Paris Games in May 2024, so the odds of qualifying are extremely slim. However, King hopes his Olympic aspirations inspire others to follow their passions.

“If anybody ends up reading this article, I would just hope that they’re inspired and continue to work hard in whatever they’re doing.”

Holocaust, pg. 1

tisemitism spread throughout Europe like an “epidemic.” Farhy attended Hebrew middle school in Bulgaria and said he felt “depressed” when he saw things such as “Death to the Jews,” written on the chalkboard.

“My father told me once, ‘You are just born in this era, and you do not know what it was [like] before that. I want you to know that this is new to me also. This did not exist in Bulgaria. We were like brothers. Jews and Bulgarians were living in peace without expression of antisemitism,’” Farhy said.

At the time, Farhy lived in a five-story building in Sofia — the capital of Bulgaria — composed of both Jewish and Bulgarian residents. He said the Gestapo occupied the space next to his building on one side, and the ministry for the persecution of the Jews on the other side. When the government ordered Jewish people to leave Sofia, Farhy said his family traveled to the railroad station with another family where children and their parents had to separate into different cars that took them to a “ghetto” outside the capital.

“When we arrived in the middle of the night in the town, the president of the Jewish community there greeted us and took us in [to] his house,” Farhy said. “In his house, in each room, a family [had] to live because they were coming more and more each day.”

Farhy said his father eventually got permission to move their family to another ghetto in Bulgaria where their relatives lived. Three days after a regime change occurred in the Bulgarian government, the Russian army

came to free the Jews living in the ghetto Farhy’s family resided in at the time. Farhy added that the entire Jewish community greeted the Russian army upon their arrival.

“The whole Jewish community was in the square where the day before that we were not permitted to step in,” Farhy said. “The restrictions were awful.”

An attendee asked Farhy how the Holocaust impacted his faith in God. Farhy said he’s a secular Jew and very interested in science. He said he believes in God but in his “own way.”

“I’m strongly Jewish without being strongly religious,” Farhy said. “The Bulgarian society was Christian, but they were not overly reli -

gious like the Polish people.”

Farhy said most Bulgarians didn’t hold hatred toward Jewish people like in the other European countries.

“It was fashionable to hate the Jews, but it was not in their hearts,” Farhy said.

Farhy concluded the event by explaining that the best way students can combat antisemitism is by being friendly.

“Be patient with the person that is antisemitic,” Farhy said. “Engage him in conversation, peaceful conversation, and try to convince him that it is not good for him to have in his heart hate towards those people.”

Albert Farhy, a Holocaust survivor, speaks at Hillel Jewish University Center on Forbes Avenue on Monday evening. Kaylee Uribe | Staff Photographer

GRADING PITT ATHLETICS TEAMS FOR THE 2022-23 YEAR

USE YOUR PANTHER FUNDS!

Jermaine Sykes Senior Staff Writer

While the 2022-23 school year had its ups and downs for Pitt students, Pitt Athletics saw its fair share of ebbs and flows as well. Some teams prospered and achieved success to the highest degree, while others failed to live up to their expectations.

Students sometimes feel that their final grades aren’t fair. Some professors have different strategies for grading. But for Pitt Athletics, the grading criteria is simple. Teams are graded on how they performed this year compared to their expectations coming into their respective seasons.

Volleyball: A+

Every student needs a course that will boost their GPA. But volleyball is far from an “easy A.” Volleyball is not only the best-performing sport in Pitt Athletics, but they have cemented themselves as one of the best volleyball programs in the country.

The Panthers returned to the final four for the second consecutive year before falling to Louisville 3-2.

No matter the result, Pitt volleyball continues to meet its lofty expectations and deserves its grade. But the only way they’ll be happy is by achieving the one thing that continues to elude them — a national championship in 2024.

Football: B

After a successful 11-3 season in 2021, including winning their first-ever ACC championship, the Panthers did not repeat the same success in 2022. The Panthers finished 9-4 and did not return to Charlotte, North Carolina, for the ACC championship game.

Their grade is less about their win-loss record, and more about their lofty expectations coming into the season. Senior quarterback Kedon Slovis transferred from USC and looked to fill the shoes of Kenny Pickett, and he failed mightily.

Embarrassing losses such as Georgia Tech and Louisville put this season in jeopardy of getting an F grade, but five wins in a row to end the season salvaged an almost disastrous 2022 for the Panthers.

Men’s Soccer: A

Pitt men’s soccer continued their streak of three straight years of deep runs in the College Cup tournament by reaching the final four. The Panthers fell to Indiana 2-0, though, ending their season just a game short of the National Championship.

Men’s soccer is one of Pitt’s best programs, but they fall short of an A+ grade because of their subpar regular season performance, which left them unseeded in the College Cup tournament. A better regular season performance may have gifted the Panthers a better matchup in the final four. Still, the Panthers should be proud of their success.

Women’s Soccer: B+

A Sweet 16 appearance in 2022 landed Pitt women’s soccer a B+ on the Pitt Athletics report card. The Panthers started the season 111, including upset road wins over Notre Dame and Virginia Tech.

The Panthers won just 11 games in 2021. Their massive improvement in 2022 is the reason for their grade. However, a tough 3-0 loss to Florida State in the Sweet 16 holds the Panthers back from an A- or higher.

Wrestling: A

Group projects are a vital part of Pitt’s curriculum. Most students have joined a group where they had to carry the weight of the group, or another group member bore the burden of the group.

Senior Nino Bonaccorsi didn’t carry the weight of Pitt wrestling, but his contribution to the team in 2022-23 placed him in elite company. Bonaccorsi became Pitt’s 17th national champion with his unbeaten season at

page 10

Pitt volleyball players huddle up during a game against NC State on Sept. 25.

Ethan Shulman | Senior Staff Photographer See Athletics on

THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING FUNNY

in my dorm bathroom for hours. I spent a lot of hours crying on that bathroom floor. More nights than not.

Last year, I was walking down Semple Street with my best friend Delaney. We were on our way to a theater party. I was wearing a pink tutu, a silver sparkly top and my trusty pink Heelys. Once we got to an intersection, I floated across the street, spewing a shimmering high C.

A girl across the street in a black bodysuit and light wash jeans glared at me, turned to her friend and said, “What the fuck?”

A few years ago, hearing a perfect stranger accost my whimsy would’ve sent me into a shame spiral. In fact, when I was at my previous school, Northwestern University, I took myself a lot more seriously.

To put it plainly, I was really in the pits. In my first five trimesters there, I didn’t make it into a single student group and I didn’t perform in a single play or musical, and I can attribute that to the fact that I was sick the entire time. Right before the pandemic hit and everything fell apart, I had an audition I really, really wanted. It was to workshop a new musical and do a reading of it at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival in Scotland. But, surprise surprise, I was horrifically ill.

Maybe it was COVID-19? I don’t know. What I do know is my throat was on fire, I was lethargic and I could barely speak. I would show up to class and my professors would say “Paige, go home. I don’t want you getting anyone sick.”

I went into the audition room to sing two songs — “The Party Goes With You,” and “Calm.” The first song had a full voiced high E flat at the end. The first part of the song was lovely. Once I got to the climax of the song, I opened my mouth, and nothing came out, just a creak followed by what I could only compare to TV static in my vocal cords.

Then, for my cut of “Calm,” it miraculously sounded fine. But my pianist royally screwed up my tempo. It was a snappy patter song, and he played it like a fucking ballad.

They asked me, ”So, you’re from New Jersey right?” I said, “Yes, and I will defend New Jersey to the death. It’s my favorite place.” It came out of my throat weird. I was cracking and stumbling over my words. I don’t remember anything after that. I think I said “thank you” before leaving the room. Maybe I didn’t.

I booked it home, put on my bathrobe and sobbed

It’s hard to mess up. It’s even harder to royally embarrass yourself, especially if everything in your life is massively high-stakes — and it was. I had virtually no friends, no community, no purpose. Then the pandemic hit, and I decided it wasn’t worth it to wallow forever.

I felt worthless at Northwestern, but the one compliment I remember was from my voice teacher, John Haas. He said to me, “You’re funny, Paige, and that’s a gift. You can’t teach funny.”

I knew I was funny. I just didn’t have a brave space to be funny, so all my quips about the idiots I saw on the internet and all my ridiculous party trick celebrity impressions just stayed bottled up. And sure, they tell you that you shouldn’t seek external validation from anyone, that it should come from within, but can I be perfectly honest? I think that’s bullshit.

There is a power in making people laugh. There’s a pride in providing amusement. Everything is so droll, so mundane. We’re on these tedious 9-5 schedules backdropped by 24-hour news cycles sending out reverberations of mass shootings, civil unrest and unfathomable degrees of suffering. Our family members get sick and dogs die and friends move away and parents divorce — it never ends, either. It’s one stupid, awful thing after another.

As a person with a sense of humor, I had two options — I could either allow myself to become a powder keg of self-inflicted violence and pressure cook myself into oblivion, or I could become a silly little guy. A rapscallion. A court jester. I realized that maybe it’s fun to make people laugh, even if it’s at my expense.

Life is more fun if you look at it as a long-form sketch. You tumble down the stairs and bruise your ass? And you were watching a Mitchel Musso thirst cam edit? Incredible. You say, with full confidence, that J.D. Salinger wrote “The Great Gatsby,” and your professor corrects you, and you feel a hole of shame burning in your intestines? Blurt out, “Yeah, I learned that from Sylvia Plath, the author of “The Fault in our Stars.” Things are funny if you let them be, OK? OK.

My doomscrolling during the pandemic was what inspired my byline at The Pitt News in the first place. The internet is a sordid place, a sewer teeming with all kinds of water-borne illnesses and moldy garbage. It’s

full of hate, racism, misogyny, ableism and ageism, but, as you could imagine, the people spewing disgustingness and toxicity are consistently gigantic weirdos. And they’re really fun to clown on.

I started my work with TPN goofing on complete strangers who eulogize celebrities in really weird ways online — and I cracked myself up the whole time I wrote it. That was new to me. Acting and singing felt like a slog a lot of the time — I seldom thought I did a great job. But when I wrote, I was hilarious, witty, succinct and eloquent. I wasn’t just a silly goose, but an incredibly intelligent goose who was also pretty decent at embedding research into my honking — because geese, you know. Side note: fuck geese. I’m pretty against animal cruelty — I don’t think we should mistreat animals — but geese are local terrorists, and they don’t deserve my respect. To all the geese in southwestern PA, just know that it’s on sight.

I finally thought I wasn’t just good at something the way I was with performing. No, I was, dare I say, an excellent writer. I didn’t hate myself when I wrote — if anything, I was more brilliant than I ever thought I could be. It was a complete 180 from the worthlessness that marred the first act of my collegiate experience. I was dropped from a sorority at Northwestern rush for being “too opinionated,” but now I make about $20 a week, give or take, from being opinionated. Plus, I don’t have to pay for friends!

The public responded to my writing, too! A man who we’ll call Joe, because that’s his name, tried to convert me, a Jewish woman, to Christianity. This was before he did the same to multiple of my co-columnists. HAHA! Weird guy! I received hate from a foaming-atthe-mouth homophobe who misread my ‘Don’t Say Gay’ satire as a report, to which I responded, “I hope you’re having a gay morning.”

The one time I actually wrote something serious — my piece about white male entitlement and gun violence — it ended up in the reading materials for Pitt’s “Sociology of Gender” class. That was monumental to me. I was more than a silly goose — I could produce serious sociopolitical commentary that was well written enough for an academic setting!

My work with TPN has given me so much. It’s given me new friends to go to concerts with, it’s given me almost weekly compliments from peers and professors

and it’s even given me work as a freelancer. Most of all, it completely restored my faith in myself and reminded me that there is power in what I have to offer the world.

Humor is not a frill. Jokes are not distractions. We need levity to keep us alive –– without it, everything is awful. I’m not a doctor, I’m not a social worker or a humanitarian aid or Miss America building a house in a hurricane-struck city. Still, I hope that if people read my jokes, it’ll help them look at our garbage hellscape with kinder, more lighthearted eyes. That’s where the healing lies, not in juice cleanses or hot yoga or vagina steaming, but in laughing at ourselves and each other. Maybe it’s just a Band-Aid for a bullet hole. But still, it’s more than nothing. It’s better than nothing.

Paige Wasserman (she/her) writes about the arts and pop culture. You can reach her at PLW15@pitt.edu.

Paige Wasserman

Senior Staff Columnist

Athletics, pg. 8

197 pounds.

A third-place team finish, along with senior Cole Matthews’ victory at 141 pounds at the ACC championship, helped the Panthers solidify their A grade.

Swim and Dive: C-

In the pool, the 2022-23 swim and dive team disappointed. The Panthers finished 11th at the ACC championships, and 33rd at the national championships.

All isn’t bad for the Panthers — 15 women and 14 men made their respective All-ACC academic honors.

Gymnastics: D+

A 10-15 record in 2023 leaves the Panthers with a passing grade. Sophomore Hallie Copperwheat continued the elite start to her career, breaking the program record with four EAGL Gymnast of the week honors.

But the team finished last in the EAGL Championship. Copperwheat’s individual accomplishments don’t outweigh the lackluster team performance, and their grade reflects that.

Men’s Basketball: A-

The story wrote itself. After a season full of roster turnover, the Panthers ranked No. 14 in the ACC preseason polls and head coach Jeff

Capel’s future as head coach looked bleak.

But the Panthers won 24 games in 202223, their most since the 2012-13 season. Two NCAA tournament wins put the cherry on top of an already sweet season.

Women’s Basketball: F

An 11 win season in 2021-22 disappointed Pitt women’s basketball. To follow that season up with a 10 win season — with only three wins in the ACC — gives Pitt women’s basketball an F grade for the 2022-23 season.

The Panthers have a new leader heading into 2023-24 after the firing of head coach Lance White. Luckily for them, an F grade is the lowest grade a team can receive, and they hope to rebound next season.

Lacrosse: C- (In Progress)

Pitt’s youngest varsity program is still in its growth period, and their grade reflects that.

Lacrosse is only in its second season as a varsity sport, so a 4-11 record isn’t surprising. Still, you’d like to see the Panthers improve, which isn’t the case.

For their youth, I’m giving the Panthers a generous grade. But next year is an important year for the program and its development.

Baseball: C (In Progress)

At 16-18, the Panthers’ grade should be lower. But over the past weekend, the Panthers took a road series from No. 7 Virginia. Inconsistency is the Panthers’ issue, especially on the pitching staff.

Still, road victories over a top 10 team show the Panthers’ potential, which gives them a C grade, but this grade is incomplete until the end of the season.

Softball: B (In Progress)

Pitt softball won just 14 games in 2022, losing 11 of their last 12 contests. At 19-19, the 2023 season is a vast improvement.

Maintaining their B grade depends on how they finish the season.

Overall Pitt Athletics GPA: 2.65 GPA for the 2022-23 school year

A 2.65 GPA for Pitt Athletics isn’t bad by any means. If the Panthers can improve their women’s basketball and gymnastics programs, and continue their dominance in volleyball and wrestling, Pitt’s Athletic GPA will be even higher in 2023-24.

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