REALIZE
UNLEASH
Friendship with
Marie Levey-Pabst
Nurturing connections with our friends and friends-to-be requires time and energy—but that time and energy will pay off big time when we are nurtured and rejuvenated in return.
T
he older I get, the more I value friendships and
friend texted me something funny one of her kids said. Our
connections, both with friends I’ve had forever and with
following small text exchange cheered me up and reminded me
new friends I’ve made along the way. Ironically, the older
that I can stay connected even when life is too busy for planning
I get, the more challenging it is to keep up with those friendships. I’ve identified several different ways to make time for connection that allows me to enjoy the time instead of feeling overwhelmed by yet another commitment. You may find that one way works better for you in this season of your life, and a different one resonates when you are in a different place. Or you may find room in your life for all the different sorts of connection.
a girls’ night out.
MAKE LONGER CONNECTIONS. Other times, we need more than a quick text. Still, if you are always waiting for the perfect opportunity to go out to dinner, or figuring out which museum to take your kids to, you are going to spend as much time planning as you do actually connecting. Keeping connection-time fun, simple, and low-key will make it
MAKE SMALL CONNECTIONS. By small, I mean in both time and energy. We all know how much
something you look forward to instead of just another task on your to-do list.
it matters to us that we are noticed, that we are seen. Not every
I have a standing phone date with a friend who is living abroad.
connection needs to be about deep issues in our lives and work. A
Every week she makes the trek to a hotel with wi-fi and we video
connection can just be a quick check-in to show the other person
chat for 30 minutes or so. When a friend had a new baby, our
you are thinking about them, and for them to show they are
schedules no longer aligned easily for hanging out. Now we set
thinking about you.
coffee/walk days weeks in advance, with the understanding that
I always feel better after a quick exchange of “hellos” and a joke with colleagues while we wait to heat up our lunch in the
we might hang out with a fussy baby, or just hang out at home if it’s too cold to walk.
microwave, or after sending an email linked to an online photo gallery from the month. Recently I was feeling alone when a
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