Patriot he
December 2003
Editorials The commercialism of the holidays reigns over the true Christmas spirit.
Volume 39, Issue 3
News JC’s annual Adopt-AFamily program helps needy families.
Page 5
Sports Senior athletes commit early to college. Indoor track making headway on winter Page 14 sports scene.
John Carroll School Tradition Pride Excellence
Page 2
Lord of the Rings: Return of the King.
Page 12
Features Bargain shopping frenzy causes distress for Page 8 shoppers. Entertainment Joel “the Movie Man” Wienholt returns to review
Variety Show
Laurie Krysiak Features co Editor Dr. Evil. Graduation. The YMCA. Mr. McAdams. All of these terms are familiar to the JC community. They all were represented onstage during this year’s Senior Variety Show. On the evenings of Wednesday, November 25th and Thursday, November 26th, members of the class of 2004 were featured in this annual performance, which was once again overseen by senior moderators Mr. Ionescu and Mrs. Russell. The show was comprised of two acts, each made up of ten skits, and it parodied everything from school polices of dancing and graduation, to the excessive use of bows in the junior class, to Mr. McAdams’s inability to recite the Pledge. The show began with an original dance performed by some of the senior girls as a welcome to the audience. Act I was then kicked off by Jamaican Tax Return,
featuring Katie Chlada as a pregnant women whose husband, played by Brian Averill, is abused with a shotgun at work. Other skits that highlighted this act were Dr. Evil, featuring Erin O’Brien as Dr. Evil Nun, JC School Dance, and Canadian Magic Show. The Magic Show, featuring Chlada, Averill, and Dan Tims, received the most response from the audience, particularly on Tuesday, when the audience was comprised of the actors parents. As a one parent behind me stated, “I didn’t know people from Canada had those accents.” Evan Pitts and Britt Cramer added diversity to the show’s first act with their rendition of the song “Me and My Shadow,” and Ashley Mellott moved the audience with her performance of the Dixie Chicks’ “Traveling Soldier.” In between acts, students performed Stupid Human Tricks to entertain the audience while sets for the next skits were being set up. However, one of the fillers was not well received by the
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audience. Senior Jason Lipinski recited The Green Joke, which was so lengthy that it was split into three parts. The joke talked about a woman obsessed with green. In the last part of the act, Eric Aycock and John Kopp chased Lipinski off the stage to complete the joke. Act II was slightly better then Act I in that it received more reaction from the audience with its parodies of people and happenings around JC. The first skit, JC Morning Prayer and Announcement, emphasized how Mrs. Dohn requests prayers for everyone under the sun with illness, and how Mr. McAdams seem unable to read the pledge (“I ledge pallegience to the flag.”) The Absent Teacher and Save the Last Dance II were the most talked about skits of the second act. Absent Teacher consisted of outbursts from Brian Averill and Erin O’Brien over whether or not students should buzz teachers when they are late to class, and Save the Last Dance featured quadriplegic dance teachers inspiring their robotic students. This skit received mixed
emotions from parents, for as one couple stated, “I can’t believe kids in this school would make fun of those poor people.” Act II also featured two singing performances, with Jimmy Biernatowski and Lauren Volpe singing “Nowadays,” and Ryan Hammill played guitar while Marc Rothe performed a medley of “Sex and Candy” and “Drive.” The show ended with the entire cast doing the YMCA, with Rothe, Derek Lynch, Chris Porter, and Nick Johnson as the Village People. Overall, this year’s variety show was entertaining for both students and parents, with some minor complaints from some students. After attending her first variety show, freshman Anna Gallen said, “There were some good parts, but I thought it was kind of boring.” However, most students agree that this year’s performance was high quality and all those involved should be congratulated on a job well done. Senior Jess Liberatore said, “It was great to see the skits they came up with...it was a lot of fun.”
Santa pressured by yearly Christmas crazes Erin O’Brien News co Editor Sitting at home, you flip through sale folders when-- lo and behold-- WalMart is selling a DVD player for a measly thirty-five dollars! As quickly as you can, you jump into your yuppie style SUV and head toward the nearest Super Center. When you get there, parking is scarce so that you create your own spot where the carts are supposed to go. Running at top speed toward the store, you see your competition all around you disguised as old ladies and soccer moms. With reckless abandon you tear your way through the doors, sprinting toward the electronics department. You see it! There is only one left, and it will be yours. You are getting close,
ten feet, nine feet...then you see her… the Rascal-driving grandma coming from the other direction. This means war: Only the strong survive. The world turns to slow motion as you try to determine who will arrive to the shelf first. The Rascal is moving at top speed now, but you are almost there. You reach out your arm when, BAM! You are knocked to the ground by the sheer impact of the Rascal ramming into you at super sonic speeds. After laying unconscious for a minute or two, you get up in confusion just in time to see the old lady being helped into line by some boy scout. It is too late now: You have been defeated. In the words of John Lennon, “So, this is Christmas.” A season of car-
ing, of love, of good will, and of economic stimulus. Indeed, while your bank account is plummeting, the economy will be booming. Eat those German chocolates from your advent calendar, because Santa will be coming to your house soon. When I think of Christmas, I think of presents...sue me. There was always that “it” present. That present that I absolutely had to have. Along with that one golden present, there were always those presents I did not want. Clothes- a child’s worst nightmare. There was nothing I hated more than picking up a box and feeling that dreaded squishy feeling. That meant clothes. Clothes meant fewer good presents. When I was about four years old I lived in Germany. My brother and I were big into these toys called Playmobile. They
were miniature people with a huge array of play sets. I liked the early century British people, and my brother liked the cavalry and the Indians. Thinking about it now, it is strange that these toys were German. I guess they figured parents would rather have their kids playing with toy Indians than toy Nazis. Anyway, one Christmas I asked for the Playmobile dollhouse. At the time I was still convinced that Santa would bring me anything I asked for. I guess I did not count on Santa ordering it too late and having it sell out first. However, Santa had ordered my best friend’s identical dollhouse on time. Caitlin lived in the apartment above us. On Christmas morning, after the disappointment of not receiving my dollhouse, Caitlin invited me over. To my
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