12-15-2022

Welcome To Nowhere

When I was in the Air Force (1967 - 1971), my first permanent assignment after basic training and techschool was on a remote air base in Alaska. There were me, and three hundred and fifty other GI’s, all living together like hermits in the middle of nowhere. Talk about an experience!

In the winter, you fought off the cold,

the insanity and your roommate. In the summer, you fought off the mosquitoes, the insanity and your roommate.

Yeah, I know, “Mosquitoes?” you wonder. But don’t forget, Alaska was once under a glacier. When that glacier melted, it left behind potholes of water everywhere. You look at Alaska from the air, it looks as pitted as the surface of a sponge. Lakes and ponds of water dot the state like con-

fetti after a New Year’s party. With Alaska being one giant, state-wide breeding ground for mosquitoes, it’s no wonder there were so many of them.

They were persistent little suckers, those Alaskan mosquitoes. I’d often watch one poke around the sleeve of my shirt until he found a hole in the material, then he’d tried to zap me. But at least, most of the time, we had repellent to keep them away.

But then, halfway through the summer, the mosquitoes disappeared and the gnats took over, and there was no way to get rid of them. The repellent didn’t work. So, we all existed in this continuous cloud of gnats.

One day, I was sitting in our office, which was this tiny, wooden cubicle on the side

of a hanger. My boss and the other guy I worked with had already gone for the day. We didn’t have an air-

Tales From Alaska

1

plane to work (unload or load cargo; I was an Air Freight Specialist), but one of us had to hang around the office in case we got a phone call from the main air base in Anchorage, so I got picked. Because we had a lot of holes in the seams where drafts or bugs could come through, before long, I found myself sitting in the middle of a cloud of gnats. They were flying all around me, going in my hair, in my ears, up my nose, down my collar, up my pants legs, up my sleeves. Sitting there, I felt like an infested dog.

But that was the summer. Now, I bet I know what your next question is going to be.

How cold was it up there in the winter?

Our average temperature was a minus 35. That was the average. The coldest day I saw was 62 below zero. We had to work an airplane that day. We spent two hours on the flight line, loading and unloading cargo. Of course, we had all that arctic gear they give you. But at one point, I had to take a truck to get sandwiches for the crew of the airplane.

When I looked at myself in the truck’s mirror, I had frost on my eyebrows, as well as my eyelash-

Give Us This Day our

Daily Chuckle

This week, a compendium of wit, wisdom and neat stuff you can tell at parties. Enjoy!

A woman stopped by, unannounced, at her son’s house. She knocked on the door then immediately walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, naked. Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room.

“What are you doing?!” she asked.

“I’m waiting for Mike to come home from work,” the daughterin-law answered.

“But you’re naked!” the motherin-law exclaimed.

“This is my love dress,” the daugh-

es, not to mention what looked like icicles growing out of my nose.

Now you think—how could anyone live in that kind of cold? But you do get used to it. In fact, we got so used to it, that in the spring when the temperature got up to minus 10, we were hot. We even opened up our parkas.

You’re also probably wondering whether or not we had six months of darkness. Well, not quite. You see, we were stationed right in the middle of the state, right on the Yukon River. In the winter, the sun would come up above the horizon about ten in the morning, skim along the horizon, then drop back down about three-thirty or four in the afternoon.

In the summer, it would be just the opposite. The sun would drop below the horizon around ten at night, skim along just below the horizon, then pop back up around three in the morning. It would be light the whole time. So, twelve O’clock midnight, you’d find yourself walking around in broad daylight. Part of your body would say it was time to go to bed. The other part would say, “Are you kidding? It’s broad daylight.”

Of Course, this having to deal with too much light in the summer was nothing compared to the sense of isolation we all felt.

ter-in-law explained.

“Love dress? But you’re naked!”

“Mike loves me and wants me to wear this dress,” she explained. “It excites him to no end. Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic. He can’t get enough of me.”

The mother-in-law left. When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and lay on the couch, waiting for her husband to arrive.

Finally, her husband came home. He walked in and saw her lying there so provocatively.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“This is my love dress,” she whispered sensually.

“Need’s ironing,” he said. “What’s for dinner?”

He never heard the gunshot. ••••

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, ‘This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.’

The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other,

Remember, I said we were stationed right in the middle of the state. There were no roads going anywhere, except one that went a short distance to a nearby radar site, and no towns to go to, except the tiny Indian village on the other side of the runway. With four 102 fighter/reconnaissance jets stationed there as a hedge against a Russian invasion coming through Alaska, we had some of the Indians working for the government.

Accentually, we were cut off from civilization. You could only get to our site by air or by boat on the river during the summer. We were all stuck there for an entire year. One whole year in isolation! It’s no wonder we all drank so much; which, by the way, leads me to the one drinking incident I’ll never forget.

Hugging The Throne

The drinking incident I’m referring to was the night I got the drunkest I’ve ever been in my life. You know how it is. You get so sick, you actually pray to God to let you die, just so you can end the misery. I tell you, I never ever want to be that drunk again!

I was drinking screwdrivers. That’s vodka and orange juice for you non-drinkers. I had seven of them. The last four were doubles. By the time I staggered from the NCO club (noncommissioned officer’s

then calls the boy over and asks, ‘Which do you want, Dan?’

The boy takes the quarters and leaves the dollar. ‘What did I tell you?’ said the barber. ‘That kid never learns!’

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store & says: ‘Hey, Danny! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?’

The boy licked his cone and replied, ‘Because the day I take the dollar, the game’s over!’ ••••

An Irishman goes into the confessional box after years of being away from the Church.

Inside he finds a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap.

On one wall there’s a row of decanters with fine Irish whiskey and Waterford crystal glasses. On the other wall is a dazzling array of the finest cigars and chocolates.

Then the priest comes in.

“Father, forgive me, for it’s been a very long time since I’ve been to confession, but I must first admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be.”

club; the regular officers had their own club) back to the barracks, I was really feeling it.

When I got to my room, I looked up at my bed, which was the top bunk of a bunk-bed extended a foot higher than it was supposed to be, and said to myself, “There’s no way I’m getting up there.” So, I took off my parka, laid it on the floor and lay down on top of it.

About five minutes later, I could feel the sickness coming. So, I made a beeline for the bathroom, and that’s where I spent the next hour, sitting on the floor in one of the stalls, literally hugging the commode.

The bathroom, being this huge room, had several toilets. People would come by the stall I was sitting in and call over the closed door, “Hey, you alright in there?” I’d reply, “Yeah.” Then I’d lean over and go, “Bla-a-a-a-h!” into the commode.

At one point, I had to take a dump. Have you ever tried taking a dump when your ass is so numb from the alcohol in your system, you can’t even feel yourself sitting down? It’s not easy, let me tell you.

Anyway, that’s where I stayed for the next hour. Eventually, I did

The priest replies: “Get out, you moron, you’re on my side!”

••••

A Minnesota farmer named Ole had a car accident. He was hit by a truck owned by the Eversweet Company.

In court, the Eversweet Company’s hot-shot attorney questioned him thus: ‘Didn’t you say to the state trooper at the scene of the accident, ‘I’m fine?”

Ole responded: ‘vell, I’lla tell you vat happened dere. I’d yust loaded my fav’rit cow, Bessie, into da... ‘

‘I didn’t ask for any details’, the lawyer interrupted. ‘Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, ‘I’m fine!’?’

Ole said, ‘vell, I’d yust got Bessie into da trailer and I vas drivin’ down da road.... ‘

The lawyer interrupted again and said, ‘Your Honor, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the police on the scene that he was fine. Now several weeks after the accident, he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please

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Tales From Alaska continued on page 3

Tales From Alaska from page 2

make it up into my bunk and to sleep.

But the next morning, when I got up, I was still sick to my stomach. What made it worse; we had to work an airplane. That meant I had to help unload and load cargo. I was in no shape to do anything but get sick. I threw up three times, once in the barracks, and twice over at the supply building. That’s where we kept the cargo that was going to be loaded on the airplane. It was stacked and tied on pallets waiting to go.

Anyway, five minutes before that plane was supposed to arrive, I threw up for the third time, walked out of the bathroom, slapped my hands together, looked at my boss and said, “Okay, when do we eat?”

Just like that, I wasn’t sick anymore. That last time must have emptied my stomach.

But five minutes before that moment, if you had mentioned food to me, I probably would have turned green, purple and every other color you can imagine. But what I did that night was nothing compared to what my roommate did the following weekend.

Ther’ She Blows!

Remember what I said about my bed being extended a foot higher than it was supposed to be. That was because my roommate, who was in his early twenties and married, was several inches over six feet. Every time he’d try sitting up on his bed, he’d hit his head on the underside of my bunk. So one day, he and my boss got some extensions and put them on our beds, so he wouldn’t have to worry about hitting his head any longer. Good thing, too. Because of the condition he found himself in that night, had my bed been its normal height, he might have hit his head and killed himself.

You see, he bet the guys from the supply building he could drink straight whisky from a peanut can. You know, all that macho stuff you do when you’re young? It was not that he was a heavy drinker. In fact, he was kind of conservative in his behavior; but like the rest of us, he was feeling lonely and isolated, so this was his night to let loose. Unfortunately, he let loose a little too much.

Remembering what I had done to myself the week before, I knew he was going to be sick, but even I didn’t know how sick. Anyway, when I left the NCO club to come back to the barracks, I saw him sitting with the guys from the supply

building, swigging whisky from the peanut can like it was water.

Sure enough, about a half hour later, I was in my bed reading, when suddenly the door flew open and there stood my roommate. He had his hands braced against both sides of the open doorway, and he was swaying to and fro like a sailboat docked in choppy waters.

“Don’t come near me,” he said in a slurred voice, “I’m d-r-u-n-k!” Then he proceeded to collapse like a corpse, across his bed with his big feet hanging over one side of the bed and his head almost off the other side. Like I said, good thing he had added height to his part of the bed, because the way he had keeled over, without really trying to stop his fall, he might have hit his head on my bed and cracked his skull wide open.

Anyway, he had forgotten to close the door and light, so I got up and closed both. Then I climbed back up into my bunk and went to sleep.

During the night, I heard him moving around. But it wasn’t until the next morning when my feet hit the floor that I discovered what had happened to him. Immediately, I noticed the tile was all sticky, and there were tiny little chunks of what looked like half-digested peanuts everywhere.

You guessed it. During the night he had gotten sick. But unlike me, he didn’t make it to the bathroom in time. Instead, when he puked, it sprayed up and out like a geyser, covering himself, his bed, the floor and even getting inside one of his boots. That’s why I had heard him moving around in the dark.

After he had gotten sick, he said he tried cleaning out his boot in the bathroom. Whether or not he had succeeded, I don’t remember, but I’ll bet for sure, that’s one drinking session, like me, he’ll never forget.

Now, I know I made him sound a little like a character. He wasn’t though. Like I said before, he was normally very conservative in both his drinking and his behavior. This was the one and only time in the entire year he decided to really bust loose. As for some other guys up there—now they were characters!

It Takes All Kinds Of Ingredients To Make An Omelet

I think the character that always comes to my mind first is the guy who worked in our TV station. Yes, we had our own little TV station. Its signal only went out about eight miles. It showed mostly reruns of old TV shows and some week old news programs.

Oodles!

Looking for things to do? Places to go?

Check out Oodles every week for listing of civic and service club meetings throughout the area.

Have an event you need publicized?

Email it to: Oodles.ThePaper@gmail.com If you submit photos do not embed them. Send them as jpg, tif, or pdf attachments only.

Simple press releases are the best: who, what, where, when, why. Please no brochures or flyers. Keep it simple You’ll get more ink!

Escondido Library Holiday Hours & Closures All Library facilities will close at 5:00 p.m. on Saturdays December 24 and December 31, and be closed on Mondays December 26 and January 2.

Hybrid Escondido Writers Group with Special Guest Mark Carlson Tuesday, December 6, 2022 • 1:00 p.m.–4:00 p.m. Library Board Room • Adults

Writers of all genres are invited to read their work and receive group critiques in a friendly and comfortable environment. Meet guest author Mark Carlson on December 6!

2nd Saturday Concert: Vieness Piano Duo Saturday, December 10, 2022 • 3:00–4:30 p.m. Turrentine Room • All ages

Enthralling audiences with electric

Anyway, this guy was big, not tall, but hefty, at least 250 pounds or more, middle-aged, and half bald. He had the biggest collection of dirty books and magazines of anyone up there.

But the reason I remember him so vividly was because of the way this guy drank. Man, could he put away the booze! This guy could drink anyone under the table. In fact, he did once. I vaguely remember a drinking contest between him and some new guy who thought he was a good drinker. By the time it was over, our boy from the TV station was still sitting on his favorite stool slugging drinks, while our intrepid newcomer had already laid his head on the bar in defeat.

Oh, yeah, let me tell you about our TV guy and his favorite stool. It was right there at the bar in the NCO club, and anytime he wasn’t in the barracks lying on his bed reading a dirty book, he was sitting on that very stool drinking. He’d go there at five O’clock, straight from work and stay there drinking with another friend of his until the place closed. Sometimes, it felt as if he was never going to leave either that stool or the base. But, of course, he did leave both.

It was different with another guy. He was the sergeant in charge of the supply section. Would you be-

and captivating performances of a wide repertoire, the Vieness Piano Duo’s commanding stage presence has made them in demand around the world.

½ Price Sale in the Friends Bookshop December 19-23

Cash only. For donations, the Friends can only accept up to five banker-size boxes per person per day. If you have a larger donation, please contact the Friends at 760839-4832.

The Friends Shop will be closed on Tuesday December 13, Saturday December 24, and Saturday December 31.

continued on page 13

lieve this guy had re-upped just so he could stay at our air base? I’m not kidding! This guy loved Alaska so much, he didn’t want to go anywhere else. When it was his time to re-up, or get out of the Air Force, he said he’d re-up under one condition — he be allowed to stay at our base for the entire next four years of his enlistment.

Can you imagine four years on a remote air base in the middle of the Alaskan wilderness? But you see, this guy had grown up in the upper-peninsula area of Michigan. Where he had come from was just like this part of Alaska, a lot of trees and lakes and bitterly cold, snowy winters. Then again, if you were a hunting and fishing enthusiast, like he was, this place was a paradise.

For instance, one night, right after work, I saw these two guys leave to go fishing in the river near the Indian village. An hour later, they came back with a northern pike three feet long! And that was supposed to be a normal catch! I couldn’t imagine what an unusual catch was like.

Besides feeling like he was at home, the serge was basically his

Oodles

Fatal Shooting in Escondido

On December 11th, 2022, at around 5:45pm, numerous 911 calls were received by the Escondido Police Dispatch Center of gunshots heard in the area of the flood control channel at Hickory St. Officers arrived minutes later and found a Hispanic male suffering from gunshot wounds. Paramedics arrived and took the victim to Palomar Medical Center. Unfortunately, the male succumbed to his injuries and was pronounced dead at the hospital around 6:45pm.

Witnesses told police that they had seen a group of subjects fighting in the flood control channel before hearing gunshots. There is no one in custody at this time, and the suspect(s) is/are still outstanding. The identity of the victim is still unknown.

If you have any information, please contact Detective Michelle Mayfield (760) 839-4926

Follow the Escondido Police Department on social media @EscondidoPolice.

To report any suspicious activities in your neighborhood, you may contact the Police Department directly, or you may make an unidentified call on our “Anonymous Tip Line” at 760-743-TIPS (8477) or via our Web site at police.escondido.org.

Local News

San Diego Gulls Partner with Palomar Heath as Official Healthcare System for Team

SAN DIEGO— December 12, 2022 –The largest public healthcare district in California, Palomar Health, has entered into a new partnership with San Diego’s only professional ice hockey team, the San Diego Gulls, to become the official healthcare system for the team over the next three years.

With their goal of reimagining healthcare, Palomar Health strives to take the fear out of healthcare by making each and every patient feel like family, by making them feel safe and cared for. Because of the family environment at Gulls games, this partnership supports that mission and so much more.

Palomar Health promotes health within the community by making healthcare an approachable, desired and celebrated part of life. Through the integration of health into everyday lifestyles, healthcare will no longer be feared, but instead embraced because it will extend the quality of life, allowing one to enjoy life’s pleasures to the fullest.

“We are proud to partner with an exciting team like the San Diego Gulls,” says Diane Hansen, President and CEO of Palomar Health. “We are looking forward to integrating healthcare into the sports world and all parts of life, thus making healthcare more approach-

able by integrating Palomar Health into a lifestyle that is fun and celebrated. We feel those integrations will help take the fear out of healthcare.”

The San Diego Gulls are a key part of the community, offering families and locals a team to root for, while also participating in local events that bring San Diegans together. As such, the partnership with Palomar Health was a natural fit because the Gulls games are a great destination for families to root for San Diego teams and come together as a community supported by Palomar Health, who has roots in every part of the community.

“We’re incredibly excited to enter this partnership and recognize Palomar Health as the official healthcare system of the San Diego Gulls,” said Matt Savant, Gulls President of Business Operations. “Palomar Health’s mission to reimagine healthcare and treat every patient like family in the communities they serve goes hand-in-hand with our organization’s focus on giving back to the people of San Diego.”

In addition to being the official healthcare system of the Gulls, Palomar Health’s logo is also on the helmet of every player on the team. This brand integration onto

the helmets is strategic because this is what protects players from brain injuries and other head traumas. Palomar Health’s intent with the helmet integration is that the community will make the connection that wearing a helmet for any sports-related activity is what will protect one against potential head and brain injuries.

Palomar Health is also the proud sponsor of the Teddy Bear Toss night. To further highlight the community and the incredible role mothers, in particular, play in bringing their kids’ dreams to fruition, Palomar Health has partnered with the team to select and recognize a Hockey Mom of the Month with a jersey and in-game recognition.

The future of healthcare is innovating and reimagining in ways to reach the community where and when people need it. Through partnerships like this one, Palomar Health continues to strive toward making healthcare approachable to every person, while showcasing how accessible the best healthcare is for all residents of San Diego and Southern Riverside counties. There is more to come in the future for Palomar Health and this partnership with the San Diego Gulls is one that all are excited to be a part of.

But the new? Exciting menu additions from the creative chef’s mind of Brandon Hunsaker.

Brandon served as an apprentice to Vincent Grumel, owner and Chef of Vincent’s beginning when Hunsaker was only 15 years old.

decided to head back home to Escondido and rejoin Vincent Grumel. Vincent was only too happy to continue tutoring Brandon until Vincent passed away suddently in 2016.

Jeannette McBrearty has left the mortgage banking business and ventured into the world of fine dining.

Man About Town

Something Old - Something New - The best of both worlds!

The Old? Vincent’s - the fine gourmet dining experience at 113 W. Grand Avenue in downtown Escondido for years!

The New? Hunsaker’s at Vincent’s. Same location and a continued offering of the Absolute Vincent’s Classics - Rack of Lamb, Escargot, and, of course Vincent’s world famous French Onion Soup.

A student at Escondido’s Charter High School, he approached Vincent Grumel about a job in the spring of 2002. Vincent saw something special in Brandon Hunsaker and suggested he come to work, side by side with Vincent, and learn the restaurant business.

Chef Brandon Hunsaker worked with Vincent for nearly 10 years. Having learned from his mentor, Vincent, Brandon decided to spread his wings and soon accepted offers to serve as Chef at Las Vegas, Arizona, and the ultimate, New York City. At each upscale eatery he learned more and more in the art of preparing and serving fine food.

After absorbing all of this training and culinary knowledge Brandon

While Vincent’s loss was devastating to the Grumel family and to Brandon personally, Vincent’s training had been so thorough that Brandon made the transition to Executive Chef at Vincent’s. Enter Jeannette McBrearty and her husband, Chris.

Jeannette was a mortgage banker but also is an antique dealer in downtown Escondido and dined often at Vincent’s. Her husband, Chris, also a banker as well as a real estate investor, enjoyed meals with Jeannette at Vincent’s regularly.

When they learned Vincent’s was up for sale they determined to keep the iconic restaurant in Escondido. They bought the restaurant on November 5, 2019, and have been welcoming old patrons as well as new ones ever since. A bit of artistic design and a new, vibrant energy is obvious.

Now, Hunsaker at Vincent’s is set to emerge officially on March 22nd when they debut a Brunch from 10:30 to 2:30pm. Normally, reservations are highly recommended but on this Brunch Debut, it’s first come, first served. Also, beginning on March 22nd they will begin featuring Craft Cocktails.

On April 24th they will hold an Invitation Only Open House and a Grand Opening that evening from 4 to 9pm.

Overall the theme of Hunsaker at Vincent’s will be “Rooted in French, American Refined.” The best of both worlds, the old, the new, the French and the best of Americana.

The tradition of Vincent Grumel continutes and a new legacy is added by Chef Brandon Hunsaker.

page 3

own boss. He had all kinds of connections with the guys down at Elmendorf in Anchorage. Anything he wanted, all he had to do was ask, and they’d send it up to him on the next plane. For instance, there was the time he asked for moose meat.

That was how I got introduced to moose burgers. Those were hamburgers made with regular meat and Moose meat mixed together. Hey, don’t make a face; they were g-o-o-o-o-d! Some of the sweetest tasting hamburgers I’ve ever eaten.

Speaking of food, that reminds me of KP or “kitchen police” duty, which brings up the subject of the next character on my list.

And The Characters Keep Strolling Along

The best way to describe this guy was he was our version of Donald Trump. That’s because when it came to moneymaking endeavors (I won’t call them schemes; they were all legitimate), he had his hand in everything. Take, for instance, this deal with the KP or “kitchen police” duty.

Every new guy up there below a certain rank had to spend at least one week helping clean dishes after midnight chow. That’s a meal the chow hall served at night to the

guys working on night shifts, or to anyone else who felt like eating breakfast at midnight.

Our friend would volunteer to take care of your KP duty for a price, which many of us gladly paid, having unpleasant memories of KP duty left over from basic training and later, at our job training schools.

A second moneymaking endeavor of his was selling tapestries, which he imported from overseas (mainly Italy). I bought one. It showed an Eskimo riding on a dogsled through the Alaskan wilderness.

This guy also ran a laundry where we brought our fatigues (working uniforms) to be cleaned and starched, and also had the snow mobile concession in the winter. He may have had one or two other things going, but I don’t remember. Either way, he went out of there a happy, rich fellow.

For others, their time spent on our site was not so pleasant or profitable. One such person was our base commander. He used to get drunk and pull unannounced nighttime inspections. He’d go into a section and give the guys working there a hard time about their appearance, or the general cleanliness of their area. It was rumored that while he did this, he used the antenna on his two-way radio like a sword, or a cattle prod, poking people in the chest or stomach to hammer home his point. He eventually left and we got a different, much more stable base commander.

Then there was the guy who used to take steam baths all the time. He’d use our shower area in the barracks like his own private steam room. You see, our shower area was like the kind you had in high school, a large cubicle with a dozen or more showerheads. He’d go in there and turn them all on to full hot, then stand there with the steam rising around him like smoke from a forest fire. While he would be doing this, he’d chomp on a lit cigar with a smile on his face that made him look like the Wily Coyote after he finally caught the Roadrunner. I had never seen anyone take steam baths before, let alone, do it while smoking a cigar.

But at least, he used the showers. We had one guy who, for a while there, seemed like he never took a shower. He worked for the section that fueled the military planes, both the fighter jets and the cargo planes. Combine the fuel odors with his body odor, and after a while, this guy really began to stink! It got so bad that eventually several guys from the barracks gave him a G.I. party. That’s where a bunch of guys grab someone and pull them into the showers to scrub them down, sometimes with their clothes on, sometimes without.

Which leads me to the last person on my list. This person was sort of quiet, yet he made a definite impression on several people, especially the new guys. Who was this character? That’s me I’m talking about.

What Are You Doing, Writing A Book?

The reason I put myself on that list was because of the ways I used to freak people out. One such way was with my writing.

I first began putting words down on paper with the idea I was going to become a writer back in my senior year of high school (1966). The story I wrote was a young adult novel about a doomed love affair between a teenage girl and a young man.

I worked on it all through the summer after I graduated high school, and continued to work on it during the year I went to a technical college in New York City for aeronautical engineering. But when I quit school to join the Air Force, I had to put it aside until after I graduated from basic training and my Air Force job training school. Then I brought it with me to Alaska, where I worked on it some more.

I’d be sitting at a table in a room in the barracks that was set aside for use as a recreation and study lounge. Guys coming in to play ping-pong would see a large stack of paper next to me, and jokingly ask, “What are you doing, writing a book?”

Instead of laughing and telling them, “No, I’m just writing a letter.” I’d say yes.

Tales From Alaska from

Tales From Alaska continued on page 6

You should have seen the surprised looks on their faces as they’d come to a screeching halt and say something like, “No kidding!” Then they’d ask me about the book: what was it about, and if I had ever been published before? I’d have to explain it was the only thing I had written up to that point. But it sure made an impression. But that was nothing compared to the impression I made on a lot of the new guys when they’d see me walking down the hall of the barracks carrying my tennis racket and sneakers ... in the middle of the winter!

Tennis Anyone?

One of the great things about our air base was none of the buildings were attached. Not like some of the radar sites, such as the one I mentioned earlier. Most of these sites had buildings that were attached by hallways. This may sound great, especially in the winter with all the cold weather, but think of it in this manner. You get up in the morning and walk down a hallway to go eat. Then you walk down a hallway to go to work. Then you walk down a hallway to eat lunch, and back down a hallway to work again. At night it’s the same routine.

After a while, it has got to get to you. I mean, you can’t help but start to feel as if you’re living inside a submarine, which means you find yourself craving to get outside even when the temperature is 50 below zero. But with our site, we got outside all the time. Being a larger site, it also gave us more opportunities for recreational activities. For instance, down in the main hanger, they taught a lot of craft classes. We had our own movie theater. In the summer, we had softball games with guys from different sections. Several areas had their own pool tables. I mentioned snowmobiles earlier. We had our own library. But our biggest attraction was our gymnasium. It was a huge building, which contained a four-lane bowling alley, believe it or not. But the other half was the part I made the most use of. Like all gyms, it had basketball nets (we had games with the guys from the nearby radar site). It also had a weight room, and a set-up for volleyball that could be lowered making it into a tennis net. But I didn’t use the gym to play tennis. Instead, I hit the ball against the wall, like you do when you play racket ball. It was my favorite form of exercise. I got to run around a lot and work up a real good sweat. But it was also the reason I used to freak out so many of the new guys.

I mean, picture this. You’re a new guy on the site. You’ve just arrived that day. It’s the middle of the winter. It’s dark. There’s two feet of snow on the ground. The temperature outside is anywhere from 30 to 50 below zero. You’ve just stepped out of your room, and what do you see? Me, diddly-bopp’n down the hallway, may parka on, my hood up, carrying my sneakers and tennis racket.

Talk about startled expressions! These guys would look like they had just seen a squadron of IRS auditors or something. I could almost read their minds as I’d watch them back up and cling to the wall like petrified rabbits. “Oh, my God! Where the hell does he think he’s going with those sneakers and that tennis racket? Has he totally freaked out? It’s the middle of the winter! We’re in the middle of nowhere, for Pete’s sake! Is this going to happen to me? Maybe I should stay away from him. Yes, that’s what I’ll do. I’ll just back up here and let him walk by. In fact, maybe I’ll go back to my room and close the door where it’s safe.”

And all the while I’d be laughing to myself, thinking they’ll calm down once they learn about the gym.

Actually, by the time I left the site, there were several guys hitting tennis balls against the wall. I’ll have to admit, it was a first for me to have other people copy something I had initiated. But then again, being in Alaska was fraught with firsts.

It was the first time I had ever seen real snow-capped mountains in person (I’m talking about the mountains surrounding Anchorage. The area around my base was flat).

It was the first time I really listened to country western music a lot (Armed Forces Radio played at lot of country western music, not to mention the fact that a number of country western songs were on the juke box in our NCO club). And it was the first time I had ever heard a radio station broadcast from inside a department store. And I don’t mean just one time. The station in Anchorage I’m talking about did this every night.

But what really blew me away was something else they did.

Welcome To The Twilight Zone, Alaskan Style

Nearly everyone that was assigned to a remote air base in Alaska had to process through Elmendorf first.

Tales From Alaska from page 5 Tales From Alaska continued on page 10

5th District Supervisor Jim Desmond

Volunteer at the County

People often ask me, how I got into politics. My answer, by volunteering. At an early age, I learned that if you start volunteering, people will give you more responsibility. So, I volunteered at my kids’ school, I volunteered within the community and then eventually ran for San Marcos City Council.

I believe the best communities have active volunteers who are leading voices for the community. As your County Supervisor, a top priority is to increase civic engagement within the communities of North County. The County of San Diego has Boards, Committees, and Commissions that exist to advise the Board of Supervisors and County staff on issues, policy, quality of life, and to serve as links to the community. They provide a connection between the citizenry of the County and the government of the County.

If you have a desire to voice your opinions about certain decisions being made in your community, or to serve on a committee, please locate the Opportunities/Vacancies link on the County website. Simply Google, “County of San Diego Boards & Commissions.”

There are various opportunities available for those willing to serve. Plenty of Citizen Advisory Committees range from short-term, task-oriented to long-term standing committees with broad-based jurisdictional responsibilities. There are committees for County Service Areas, health and human services, criminal justice, elderly, planning, land use, parks, libraries, housing, and more.

As always, if we can be of assistance or answer any questions, my staff and I can be reached at (619) 531-5555 or via email at Jim.Desmond@sdcounty.ca.gov.

Problem Solved

by Christopher Elliott

Why is it taking so long to repair my Samsung Galaxy S21?

Robert Galinak sends his Samsung Galaxy S21 back to the company for repairs. But eight weeks later, the only thing he has to show for it is a high repair bill. So what happened to the phone?

Q: I recently upgraded my Samsung Galaxy S21 to the latest version of Android. After I did, the phone failed to power up. I returned the phone, which is not under warranty, to Samsung for repair. Samsung billed me $161 and promised to return the phone within a week.

That was eight weeks ago.

Since then, I’ve called Samsung repeatedly to find out what happened to my phone. Finally, I said I just wanted my phone back unrepaired. But a representative said they could fix it -- just give them three more days. Then Samsung charged me another $99 for a “Std. Repair Fee” and $130 for an “LCD Assembly Fee.” I don’t believe I’ll ever see my phone again.

I want a refund of the $1,000 I spent on the phone or a replacement with the same model. Can you help me? -- Robert Galinak, Abilene, Texas

A: Samsung should have fixed your

phone quickly, as promised. Keeping your Galaxy S21 for eight weeks and charging your credit card repeatedly -- without delivering your repaired phone -- is ridiculous.

A software update should not disable your phone and lead to such expensive repairs. It looks like Samsung wanted to do more than fix the software problem. The LCD Assembly Fee means it is trying to replace a cracked screen. Maybe your phone wasn’t in the best shape before you tried to upgrade it.

Your Galaxy S21 repair has malfunctioned on several levels. Samsung isn’t keeping you posted on the status of your phone. It hasn’t told you what’s wrong with the device. And the company has now charged you almost $400 without delivering your phone.

I would reach out to one of the Samsung executive contacts I publish on my consumer advocacy site, Elliott.org. If you’re not sure how to approach the company, don’t worry -- I also have a free guide on how to fix your consumer problem.

Travel Troubleshooter

by Christopher Elliott

TAP Air Portugal cancels Mary Dexter’s return flight from Lisbon to Boston during the pandemic. The airline issues a credit, but it expires. Can she get a refund?

Q: I’m trying to get a refund for a flight canceled by TAP Air Portugal during the pandemic. In March 2020, while I was in Lisbon, authorities declared a pandemic. On April 4, TAP Air Portugal stopped flying to the U.S.

I tried changing my flight, but TAP wouldn’t answer the phone. So I purchased new tickets to fly home. When I checked in for my flight back to the U.S., I spoke to a TAP agent at the airport, who promised I’d get a refund.

Instead, my online travel agency, Travelocity, gave me a flight credit. But now, the credit has expired, and TAP won’t respond to Travelocity or me regarding my refund. Also, my TAP account is locked.

The last I heard from TAP is that Travelocity issued our ticket and “has the ability to process our refund and has been provided with instructions on how to do so.” I need your help getting $1,881 refunded from either TAP or Travelocity -- whichever company has the money. -- Mary Dexter, Newton Center, Mass.

A: You should have never received a credit from TAP Air Portugal or Travelocity. Instead, they should have given you a complete refund after canceling your return flight.

After the outbreak in 2020, TAP argued that the pandemic was an extraordinary circumstance and that it could only offer a flight credit for canceled tickets. But EU regulations require an airline to offer either your choice of a full refund or a credit for a canceled flight, no matter the reason for the cancellation. Eventually, authorities forced TAP to issue full refunds but the airline took its time. It’s nothing short of the biggest refund scandal in modern aviation.

But somewhere between TAP and Travelocity, your tickets remained in the system as an expiring credit. It’s highly unusual -- though not unprecedented -- for an online agency to be an accomplice to an airline that doesn’t want to return your money. So I thought something else might be going on.

I publish company contacts for TAP Air Portugal and www.el-

liott.org/company-contacts/expedia-customer-service-contacts on my advocacy site, Elliott.org. (Expedia owns Travelocity.) You could have sent a brief, polite email to one of them, asking them to review your refund request. I checked your paper trail, and it seemed everyone was cooperating with your refund request -- until they weren’t.

What could be going on? I asked Travelocity. It turns out Travelocity wanted to refund your tickets, but it says it couldn’t. “When attempting to process, our agents learned the card on file is expired,” a representative told me. “Our customer service team sent an email requesting new card details in August but had not heard from Mary.”

It’s possible that Travelocity’s emails went to your spam folder. It’s always a good idea to check your spam folder every now and then, and whitelist emails from companies you trust. Also, if you’re expecting a refund and your card expires, let the company know your new credit card information.

You received a full refund of $1,881 from Travelocity.

Christopher Elliott’s latest book is “How To Be The World’s Smartest Traveler” (National Geographic). Get help by contacting him at http://www.elliott.org/help

© 2022 Christopher Elliott.

“It’s the holidays. Keep murder in the family,” suggests The Dangerous Christmas, the newest hit comedy-thriller from master storyteller and multiple award-winning author Charles Carr (Passage Into Fear, Sherlock Holmes and the Case of the Christmas Angels, All the Time in the World).

Carr along with the award-winning North County Players (northcountyplayers.org) are bringing The Dangerous Christmas exclusively to the California Center for the Arts Escondido for six December 2022 shows.

The show stars Lolly Boroff, Marsi Carr, Betsy Toker, Neha Curtiss, Charlie DeNatale, Don Martin, Bill Kvitli, Jeff Makey, LaVonne Norwood, and Ashley Birtwell, many of whom are longtime veterans of the So Cal theater, film, television, and commercial worlds.

Inspired by actual events, The Dangerous Christmas details how a mysterious heirloom and the man determined to possess it by any means necessary pull a group of friends into a decades-old intrigue

that turns their world upside down and threatens their very lives.

The show deftly blends a challenging mystery that will keep you guessing with wry humor and a heartfelt message about the meaning of the season. The show is enhanced with colorful sets, a full musical score, and powerful sound effects.

The Dangerous Christmas will be performed Dec. 15 (7-9pm), Dec. 16 (7-9pm), Dec. 17 (7-9pm), Dec. 18 (2-4pm) and Dec. 22 (7-9pm) and Dec. 23 (7-9pm) in the California Center for the Arts Escondido‘s Studio 1 Theatre, an intimate 100 seat venue that gives audiences extraordinary access to all the action and creates a feeling of being right in the middle of the story as it unfolds.

Tickets are on sale now at https:// artcenter.org/event/the-dangerouschristmas. Enjoy special holiday value seats priced more like movie tickets than a live theater event ($14 seniors, military, student and $18 general) with easy parking, refreshments, and comfortable seating.

Help! My TAP Air Portugal ticket credit has expired or has it?

The Dangerous Christmas comes to the Calif. Center for the Arts Escondido this month

How to avoid big tolls with your rental car

By Christopher Elliott

Can a retired construction worker visiting his daughter in New York City run up a $912 bill for car rental tolls in a week? Hertz says yes. Robert Watson, the traveler with the tab, says no way.

Tolls are on the rise for rental car customers. And while Watson’s may be an extreme example that turned out to be the mistake, the complaints usually have one thing in common: They accuse the car rental industry of profiting from toll roads. Fortunately, there are ways to avoid this.

Why are car rental tolls rising? That’s easy; the number of toll roads is increasing. Every year, the number of tolled roads expands by about 1 percent, and toll roads collect about $20 billion annually in the United States, according to an estimate by IBISWorld.

Car rental companies rent toll tags to drivers at a markup. They also bill you for tolls at a higher rate, further driving up the cost of using a toll road or bridge.

“Historically, tolls have been a profit center for car rental companies,” says Ludwig Schoenack, cofounder of Kyte, an on-demand car rental company.

How car rental companies handle tolls

Car rental companies all handle tolls in a similar way: They charge a daily fee plus any tolls you incur if you use their transponder.

Avis/Budget offers its e-toll service. For example, in California, it charges a “convenience fee” of $5.95 for each day on which you incur a toll, up to a maximum amount of $29.75. You can also use your personal transponder and avoid all fees.

Enterprise has one of the most customer-friendly toll policies. In the Northeast, for instance, you can use your own E-ZPass transponder. Or you can use Enterprise’s TollPass transponder service, which costs $3.95 to $4.95 per day on the days you use a toll road.

Hertz has a partnership with PlatePass that charges a $5.95 fee

for each calendar day when tolls are incurred. It charges tolls at the highest, undiscounted toll rate. To avoid that fee, you may also use your own transponder.

Note: Although you can use a transponder, you should check before using an app like Paytollo. The app “temporarily” does not work with car rental vehicles, according to its site. It discontinued the ability to register rental cars three years ago because of billing inaccuracies within the toll authority’s system.

How did tolls cost $912?

Watson, who was visiting from Sydney to attend his daughter’s college graduation, contacted Hertz to dispute the $912 toll bill. Hertz quickly agreed that there had been a mix-up with someone else’s bill.

But Hertz then said he needed to deal with its toll partner, PlatePass, for a resolution. And after a month of back-and-forth, a PlatePass representative said she could find no discrepancies between the vehicle’s mileage and the toll tags, even though Watson says he drove the car only a few miles a day and

never came near a toll road.

I contacted Hertz to see if it could help clear up this mistake. Watson heard back from PlatePass a few days later.

“They have admitted there was an error in my rental being charged the tolls and will refund me the amount,” he said. “I’d be interested to know what new evidence has suddenly come to light.”

What you can do to avoid a high car rental toll bill

The problem with toll bills is that you sometimes don’t find out about them until weeks or months later. In one case, it took 10 years for a renter to get his bill. There are ways around these surprise bills.

Use your own transponder

That’s what Jonathan Goldman from Annandale, Va., does when he rents a car. He makes sure his car rental company’s transponder shield box is in the “closed” posi-

Tales From Alaska from page 6

This could take anywhere from a day or two to several weeks, depending on what extra training they might need, or any health problems that had to be taken care of before they got to their base. The bigwigs in charge wanted to make sure you were physically okay before they stranded you on one of their remote air bases for a year. Of course, they forgot about our mental states. I wound up staying a week before I went on to my site.

A good part of that time, I spent listening to one of the local Anchorage radio stations, which, as I said, broadcast at least one hour every night from inside one of the local department stores. I think it was a J C Penny’s, but I’m not sure; it’s been so long.

For a second hour, they broadcast from inside a hamburger joint, while outside, cars with teenager drivers cruised the block.

Both these situations were novelties for me. I had never heard a radio station broadcast from outside its studio, except during Saturday morning, high school football games (at least I don’t remember ever hearing any radio stations back home in Connecticut do that).

But then one evening, the DJ at this Anchorage radio station started talking about missing the hot summer weather. It was only early November, but already the temperature at night was dipping close to 10 above zero.

He said what he really missed about summer were the girls in their bikinis. I agreed with him; so did I. But then he said he’d give a free $25 gift certificate to any girl who’d come down to the store wearing a bikini.

Now, at this point, I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Back in 1967, DJ’s (at least the ones where I came from) didn’t do these kinds of things—asking girls in bikinis to come waltzing through department stores, especially when it’s almost winter. Since then, crazy stuff like this has become commonplace.

So, with my ears tuned in like cable TV satellite dishes, I listened to my little portable radio, waiting to see if anyone would show up.

Sure enough, about a half hour later, a girl showed up wearing a fur coat over a bikini. It took the DJ about another twenty minutes to convince her to take off the coat, but once she did, she got her prize and I got a set of memories to last a lifetime. But they weren’t the only

set of memories, as you can see by this collection of anecdotes.

For instance, another set of vivid memories were my recollections of the Alaska Indians. Talk about a different lifestyle than I was familiar with!

“OOPs!”

You see, we had several different types of airplanes which we dealt with. Some had large cargo bays, others didn’t. Depending on which kind we had to work made a difference on how we stacked and secured the cargo on the metal pallets that would go into the plane.

Usually, Elmendorf would tell us the night before what type of plane we could expect to see the next day, so it was easy to prepare. But this one day, because of both mechanical failures and weather changes, they switched planes on us twice in an hour and a half. This meant, each time I was told a different plane was coming, I had to tear down the stack of cargo I had already built on the pallets and reconfigure it to fit the new plane we were getting. With less than an hour and a half to do this, I really had to jam.

Well, in all this frantic re-shuffling of cargo, I miscalculated in my addition. There was a transmission housing for a bulldozer as one of the pieces. It weighed nearly three thousand pounds. Somehow, I didn’t make the correct allowances for its weight.

Anyway, while my roommate typed up the manifests, I worked with a couple of guys from the supply section, hauling the pallets of cargo over to the flight line. This was during a period when we didn’t have a boss to oversee everything. His tour of duty at the site had ended and the Air Force hadn’t re-placed him yet, so for about a month, “Air Freight” consisted of just myself and my roommate. That’s why I was working alone in getting the shipment of cargo ready. But by this time, both my roommate and myself had been there more than six months, so supposedly we knew what we were doing . . . supposedly.

Anyway, the plane landed, we unloaded it, loaded on our cargo, then watched it take off. The next day, we heard the plane almost crashed. I got worried. Was it because of something we had done? Little did I know. Two weeks later, the same plane with the same pilot showed up. While I was in the cockpit having him sign our manifests, he asked me, “Were you working that day?”

I told him yes.

“Did you hear what happened?”

I said, “We heard you had some problems.”

“Problems!” he exclaimed. “We were at our absolute maximum weight of 12,000 lbs when we left here. That’s three thousand pounds over what we normally fly at. Do you know what it’s like to try and fly a plane that heavy?” Of course, I didn’t. He went on to say, “Normally it takes me 50 miles out to reach altitude. This time, it took me 150. I felt like I was carrying the plane all the way back to Anchorage.” When he got to Anchorage, he said the weather, which was icy, had prevented him from landing at Elmendorf, so he had to go over to Anchorage International Airport. As it was, one or two degrees either way of the freezing mark, and he wouldn’t have been able to land there either.

Then, as he was coming in for a landing, the plane began to stall. He said he caught it just in time; otherwise, if it had stalled, the plane would have hit hard and the landing gear would have been shoved right up through the wings, leaving shattered pieces of plane and cargo all over the runway.

That’s when my legs began to shake. But there was no way I was going to confess to him that I was the one who had exceeded his plane’s normal safety limit for cargo weight. Instead, I just stood there and listened to him talk, and nodded my head, and looked around the cockpit. Then as soon as he finished signing the manifests, I made a beeline out of there. Whew! Made it!

Afterwards, I pulled out our copy of the manifests from our files

and re-calculated the figures on the weights of each pallet. That’s when I realized just how badly I had screwed up.

Today, I look back on this incident as being funny; of course, at the time, I didn’t feel that way. But then there were a few other incidents that were just as funny then as they are now, like the time we almost ran out of booze.

This is the first in series of military diaries we will be bring you.

Di Roma

Spaceman is my nickname, writing is my game, and has been since 1966 when I wrote my first story about a doomed love affair. Since then I’ve produced numerous short stories, and longer pieces for both adults and children. Until Covid19, I worked for an in-house advertising company that’s part of a car dealership here in the San Diego area.

Pet Parade

Kyle is pet of the week at your Rancho Coastal Humane Society. He’s a 2-yearold, 59-pound, male, Hound mix.

Kyle was transferred to Rancho Coastal Humane Society from a rescue partner in Sonora through Friends of County Animal Shelters (FOCAS.) He needs a patient and encouraging family.

The $145 adoption fee for Kyle includes medical exam, neuter, up to date vaccinations, registered microchip, and a one-year license if his new home is in the jurisdiction of San Diego Humane Society’s Department of Animal Services. For information about adoption or to become a Virtual Foster visit Rancho Coastal Humane Society at 389 Requeza Street in Encinitas, call 760-753-6413, or log on to www.SDpets.org.

Open 11 to 4, Friday - Monday, and by appointment Wednesday and Thursday.

Tom

The Computer Factory

845 W. San Marcos Blvd. 760-744-4315

thecomputerfactory.net

The PC age is over??

Part II of II

In last week’s column we discussed “The End of the PC Age” as announced by Apple’s Steve Jobs in 2010. In 2022, over twelve years later, there are more PCs in use than ever and 300 million new ones are built each year, 75% with Microsoft Windows and 15% with Apple’s IOS. Was Steve Jobs correct in his judgment that the PC age was ending?

The Internet has grown to become the dominant repository of information and its servers and super computers today far exceed the computing and storage capabilities of even the most powerful PCs. As a result, most of today’s PCs

have become access devices to the Internet where the “heavy lifting” (computation and storage) is performed by Internet servers. PCs are no longer “Personal Computers,” they have become “Internet Terminals”. The “PC age” has ended and the “Internet Age” has arrived.

How does this reality affect The Computer Factory and our users?

One result is that PCs remain technologically relevant longer now than they did before the Internet came along. Nearly any PC built after Windows7’s release in 2009 have CPUs fast enough to handle Internet speeds as well as common stand alone applications. Most ten year old PCs, once upgraded to Windows 10/11, are functionally equivalent to a new PC.

That doesn’t seem to make sense. Why would PC designers keep making PCs ever faster if it doesn’t improve their performance? The answer is that designers aren’t redesigning circuits to make them faster, they’re re-designing them to make them smaller so they require less materials, labor and energy.

Faster is the unavoidable side product of making components smaller and cheaper. As you shrink the size of electronic components you use less material (gold, silver, silicon), but you also make them faster by shrinking the distance electrons need to travel between registers. Today’s fastest CPUs like the AMD Thread ripper may be a hundred times faster than the CPU in your PC, but it can’t make the Internet download any faster than yours.

Corporations, governments and schools budget to replace their PCs at the end of their three to five year service contract, why? The average enterprise workstation costs $1000, the same amount as the weekly cost of the average employee. A new PC workstation every three to five years is an affordable and much appreciated perk for employees. The “trade in” PC workstations returned to distributors at the end of their service cycle are the best bargains in our industry. These desktop, tower, notebook All-in-One and Micro PCs are half the price and much higher in quality than “retail” PCs sold in “big Box “stores. At The Computer Factory we “refurb” these PCs with a new SSD (solid state drive), Windows OS and memory.

Then we thoroughly function test

the features and add a few of our own. Warranty and service are local. In mid 2022 China announced a two year plan to eliminate all non-China PCs and non-China operating systems from domestic use. Dell, HP, Lenovo and Apple PCs manufactured in China with Microsoft and Apple operating systems will still be available for export to the USA and the rest of the World, but won’t be used in China.

When you buy a new Dell, HP, Lenovo or Apple PC for business or home, most of your money goes straight to China. Upgrading an existing PC or buying a “refurb” keeps your money at right here in the USA. When you buy a new PC workstation made at The Computer Factory you’ll get a high quality system, local service and warranty and a patriotic rush.

The holiday season is one of the most popular times of the year for families to get new pets. Is this a good or bad idea?

It can be a terrible idea if you haven’t talked about the responsibilities or the 15-to-20-year commitment.

If all you want are pictures of kids under the tree with a puppy or kitten, just use Photo Shop. Pick out any pet you want and put it next to any tree you want. Heck. You can even use someone else’s kids. All joking aside, adopting a pet

John Van Zante’s Critter Corner

Thinking of Getting a Critter for Christmas

during the holidays isn’t different than adopting a pet any other time of year. Just keep in mind that the season could involve emotion, commotion, travel, and strangers in your pet’s new home.

#1: Adopt…Don’t Shop. We’ve all seen those pictures and videos of sick, dirty pets from puppy mills. They clean them up to take their pictures for the internet or to sell them in pet stores. If you had to go to a large, breeding operation to pick out a pet, would you? No. So don’t support these people.

#2: Whether it’s a shelter or a reputable rescue, I recommend getting an adoption application and filling it out at home, together, as a family. There are lots of things to consider. Even if you’ve adopted a pet be-

fore, you’ve forgotten a lot. Hold a family meeting, fill out the application together, and talk about responsibilities.

#3:

What kind of pet do you want? If part of the family wants a Tabby kitten and the rest want a Great Dane, you could have a problem. Work that out a home.

#4:

If you live in a HOA, check for rules regarding pets. You don’t want to take a pet home then find out you have to give it up or move.

#5:

Instead of telling the adoption counselor which pet you want, tell them about your lifestyle then let them introduce you to the pets who match you.

Problem Solved from page 6

You handled this one by the book. You kept copies of your chat with Samsung and detailed phone records. And after waiting a reasonable amount of time, you asked for your phone back so you could get it repaired somewhere else. That would have almost certainly cost you less. It’s unclear why Samsung kept your phone for as long as it did. If the software update caused a problem, that should be a relatively easy fix.

I contacted Samsung on your behalf. The company sent your Galaxy S21 back with the promised repairs, but kept your money.

Christopher Elliott is the chief advocacy officer for Elliott Advocacy. Email him at chris@elliott. org or get help with any consumer problem by contacting him at http://www.elliott.org/help

© 2022 Christopher Elliott.

Avoid Tolls from page 9

tion. “The E-ZPass in most states uses a Velcro-type strip to fasten to the windshield,” he says. “And put some kind of reminder in the rental car, like a sticky note on the dashboard, to make sure you don’t leave your E-ZPass in the car.”

Pay cash

In some areas, you can still use cash to pay for a toll road. “Tolls in Florida have not gone completely electronic, so there may still be the option to use a cash lane and avoid the car rental toll fees altogether,” says Alissa Musto, a musician

from Boston who travels frequently. Make sure you carry enough cash when you travel on toll roads. Many travelers have gone cashless in an age of tap-to-pay.

Negotiate a better deal

Some car rental companies may offer an “all you can eat” option. For example, Budget and Avis have eToll Unlimited, which includes the cost of tolls and convenience fees.

It costs anywhere from $10.99 to $25.99 per day, depending on your checkout location. The most you’ll pay for a week is between $54.95 and $129.95. The catch: You must select e-Toll Unlimited when you rent your car.

Don’t use a toll road

Obviously, if you avoid a toll road, you’ll avoid a car rental toll. Just set your favorite map app to “avoid toll roads.”

How should car rental companies handle tolls?

In a perfect world, toll roads wouldn’t exist. Car rental companies would look for something else to profit from. Until then, there’s a right way. Schoenack, the cofounder of Kyte, says his company is registering all of its plates with local tolling authorities.

“We’re giving people the option to rely on the registered plates,” he says.

In other words, you pay the actual tolls you incur — no rental charges for a transponder, no “convenience” fees. Car rental companies would lose millions of dollars a year by forfeiting these charges, but think of all the friends they would gain.

Christopher Elliott is an author, consumer advocate, and journalist. He founded Elliott Advocacy, a nonprofit organization that helps solve consumer problems. He publishes Elliott Confidential, a travel newsletter, and the Elliott Report, a news site about customer service. If you need help with a consumer problem, you can reach him through his consumer advocacy site or email him at chris@elliott. org. This story originally appeared in the Washington Post.

SERVICE DIRECTORY

For example, a water pump on a 2007 Ford Edge could cost as much as $2,000 to replace. Why? Because the engine and transmission must be removed just to replace the water pump.

You might be able to pick up an older car for a real bargain. But watch out! Example, older Jaguars have inbord brakes which means that the rotors are blocked to the rear differential, cost$1,000 plus.

Wearable Items

Before you buy a car - new or used - check the basic maintenance costs. How much to change the oil? What does it cost to replace the wearable items, things that with normal wear and tear, need to be replaced. Brakes, water pump, heater core, heater valves, fuel filters and tires are a few examples. These things can be hundreds if not thousands of dollars to replace, and might not be covered by a warranty.

Greater Escondido Chamber of Commerce: The Holiday’s are in full bloom and for many local businesses a large percentage of their annual sales will be generated between now and the end of the year. Based off fresh data from Black Friday and Cyber Monday sales consumer spending is still strong. Despite all the doom and gloom news we are feed people are still spending. The key is to keep it local.

Our local business community has seen many changes over this past year. Some of these were more welcomed than others. Data from the BLS shows that approximately 20% of new businesses fail during the first two years of being open, 45% during the first five years, and 65% during the first 10 years. Only 25% of new businesses make it to 15 years or more.

Please do your part to support local businesses in our community this Holiday Season.

Carlsbad Chamber Turning 100! 2023 marks the 100th Anniversary of the Carlsbad Chamber of Commerce. We have a full year of activities planned to celebrate. Please stay tuned as the announcements come out beginning in January!

Toy Drive for Rapid Response

In November we hosted a toy drive for Rapid Response Housing Solutions. They work with agencies that service the homeless population - such as InterFaith, Operation Hope and La Posada de Guadalupe Men’s Shelter. This toy drive is ongoing and continues through December 15. You can drop off your donations at the Chamber Office from 9:00am to 4:00pm Monday through Friday.

If you are looking at a used car and the owner says that there is nothing wrong with it they only have to add a little coolant every once in a while, beware! That could mean the heater core is going out, bad seals or a cracked head, resulting in thousands of dollars in repair bills.

Beware of Lemons

If you are looking to buy a new car, it is easy enough to go on the internet and look up recalls, factory defects and certain items on cars that have a lot of failure rates.

Consider repair costs into your overall budget. Buy something basic. Bells and whistles can be fun, but cost a lot to repair.

Don

Car Talk with

Are you in the market for a new or used car? Before you fork over your hardearned cash, you should consider basic maintenance costs into your budget.

Let the Buyer Beware

Cars are not the same as they were back in the day, when a water pump was $35 and you could install it yourself. Vehicles have become increasingly more complicated to repair and also to maintain.

It could be worth a few hundred dollars to have your mechanic look over your potential purchase before making a decision.

And if you don’t have a good mechanic, looking up reviews online will probably only give you the whiners and complainers. Instead ask a family member, friend or neighbor who they use, you will get a much better referral than that from a faceless stranger.

Don has been repairing vehicles since the early 80’s.

Visit his Youtube Channel at Dons Garage in VC

The Mighty Mojo Page

heretofore mentioned rural area of Burbank.

No sooner had she left than lyle began to make plans.

tell him to simply answer the question. ‘

By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Ole’s answer and said to the attorney: ‘I’d like to hear what he has to say about his favorite cow, Bessie’.

Ole said: ‘Tank you’ and proceeded. ‘vell as I vas saying, I had yust loaded Bessie, my fav’rit cow, into de trailer and was drivin’ her down de road vin dis huge Eversweet truck and trailer came tundering tru a stop sign and hit my trailer right in da side by golly. I was trown into one ditch and Bessie was trown into da udder ditch. By yimminy yahosaphat I vas hurt, purty durn bad, and didn’t want to move. An even vurse dan dat,, I could hear old Bessie a moanin’ and a groanin’. I knew she vas in terrible pain yust by her groans. Shortly after da accident, a policeman on a motorbike turned up. He could hear Bessie a moanin’ and a groanin’ too, so he vent over to her. After he looked at her, and saw her condition, he took out his gun and shot her right between the eyes.

Den da policeman came across de road, gun still in hand, looked at me, and said, ‘How are you feelin’?’

‘Now wot da hek vud you say?’

••••

Post Office wants to stop working Saturdays; not crazy about MonFri, either ••••

3 out of 4 people suffer from anxiety disorder. The 4th person enjoys it. ••••

BREAKING NEWS: GM Recalls Cars for ‘Acting Like Toyotas’ ••••

CNN did a “Keeping Them Honest” seg on killer whales. Say what you will about killer whales, they’re not liars.

••••

I went to the post office today. Looks like the workers are already practicing taking Saturdays off.

My life coach cut me from the team. ••••

I don’t think I’m cut out for this church business. I walked into a local church and simply asked . . . “do you offer free wi-fi?”

Talk about cold stares! ••••

A Saturday Adventure . . .

And it came to pass that evelyn was scheduled to go to the Mid Year Kiwanis Convention in some rural area called Burbank, Callifornia. Verily, verily, lyle did decline to go because (a) conventions are boring, and (b) conventions are boring.

lyle called his best friend and first cousin, Doug Leverenz, who lives in Huntington, Beach.

“Hey Doug,” he said, “evelyn’s gonna be gone from early morning Saturday till late Saturday night or early Sunday morning. Why don’t you come down Friday and spend the weekend with us. While evelyn is gone you and me can go out and drink lots of whiskey, chase wild, wild women, cuss a lot, and do all kinds of sinful things.”

“I’ll do it!” he said, “I’ll come down!”

And he did. And it was good.

evelyn left at about 4:30am Saturday morning as she had booked a breakfast attendance for 7am in the

He allowed as how he would pour mug after mug of grand Scotch whiskey. There was a slight problem, however, in that neither lyle nor doug drink. Unfazed, the decision was made to chase wild, wild women.

lyle, it is said, prefers women who are ‘rough and raw,’ preferably with only one or two teeth (they are cheaper dates, he says; they don’t eat nearly as much). Both he and doug prefer their women with a whole lot of tattoos all over the body ... up and down their legs, thighs, buttocks, backs, foreheads, breasts, shoulders . . . the more the better. It all adds up to sheer elegance, they both agree.

So, they headed out to a biker bar but stopped on their way so they, too, might have multiple tatts applied to there heretofore pristine bodies.

Sadly, the tattoo parlors were not yet open; the biker bars had just closed several hours earlier.

So, sadder, but ever wiser, doug and lyle headed out for breakfast at a local restaurant.

All the waitresses were attractive, had all their teeth, did not cuss, and were good at their jobs. Totally out of keeping with the wild, wild women doug and lyle had in mind.

Maybe next time.

A Church’s Senior Memorable Moments

A Preacher was explaining that he must move on to a larger congregation that will pay him more. There is a hush within the congregation. No one wanted him to leave.

Joe Smith, who owns several car dealerships in the City stands up and Proclaims, ‘If the Preacher stays, I will provide him with a new Cadillac every year, and his wife with a Honda mini-van to transport their children!’ The congregation sighs in relief, and applauds.

Sam Brown, a successful entre-

preneur and investor, stands and says, ‘If the Preacher will stay on here, I’ll personally double his salary, and also establish a foundation to guarantee the college education of all his children!’ More sighs and loud applause.

Sadie Jones, age 88, stands and announces with a smile, ‘If the Preacher stays, I will give him sex!’

There is total silence. The Preacher, blushing, asks her, ‘Mrs. Jones, whatever possessed you to say that?’

Sadie’s 90 year old husband Jake is now trying to hide, holding his forehead with the palm of his hand, and shaking his head from side to side, while his wife replies, ‘Well, I just asked my husband how we could help, and he said, ‘Screw him!’

Isn’t senility wonderful?

California`s road dept is laying off 5000 highway workers-seems some idiot invented a shovel that will stand up by itself.

I’m thinking of quitting tea for health reasons. Can anyone recommend a nice breakfast wine?

Also don’t put all your eggs in separate baskets, because that would be an insane waste of baskets.

LEGALS