Olive Press Newspaper - Issue 340

THE EXPAT SURVIVAL ISSUE

OLIVE PRESS

The

Andalucía

Mijas Costa FREE

Inside this week’s special edition we have dozens of tips and ideas on how to survive the Covid crisis, including...

Your expat

voice in Spain

Vol. 13 Issue 340 www.theolivepress.es April 1st - April 14th, 2020

Dance your way to business success at home see p6

The best Spanish shows to get you through the long days at home

While the army is on the streets, 8,000 have died, millions of jobs are at risk and everyone is on a four-week lockdown, there are...

see p10

LIFE OF BRIAN: Always look on the bright side of life scene

...REASONS TO BE CHEERFUL Global warming reverses

Price of petrol is down

Infection rates are slowing

Wuhan’s back to work

New shelves are finally up

Bees are buzzing

No weeds in the garden

Quarantinis in abundance

Parking spaces everywhere

Kane and Son will soon be back

From Joe to Ulysses... the Top 10 tomes to catch up on see p11

The best nearby escapes once the lockdown ends see p11

Even advice from Oprah see p22

Tel: 952 147 834

952 147 834

See pages 24

TM

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NEWS IN BRIEF

Helping hand THE Fuerte Hotel group in Malaga has donated more then 1500 kilos of perishable food to vulnerable families and individuals to be distributed by the Fundacion Fuerte after having to close.

Leading by example

MARBELLA Mayor, Angeles Munoz, has been drafted in as a volunteer doctor at the Hospital Costa del Sol, while also allocating €34 million for the coronavirus crisis.

CORONAVIRUS SPECIAL

TOGETHER, WE BEAT THE BUG

TEAM LEADER: Boss Graham at Iceland/Overseas

I

T was with some trepidation that the Olive Press distribution force set out on their journeys a fortnite ago.

After dozens of anxious calls, confirmation and cajolling, a dozen hardy souls set out from the four corners of the country to brave roadblocks and grillings from cops and concerned partners.

It was always going to be a nerve-wracking day with so much uncertainty about the spread of the coronavirus and who was allowed out and to do what jobs.

And the end result was a com-

How Olive Press distribution team (including the editor and three writers) got all FIVE editions out last issue

prehensive success as 100% of the papers got out into the hands of expats and locals around the country.

By focusing on putting double and triple the numbers in the hundreds of supermarkets, vets and petrol stations normally served around the country we were able to make up for the hundreds of restaurants, hotels and other businesses closed.

It was an important special virus issue updating readers on the state of the country and the way that expats were positively

Better call Bea! WHILE the majority of Olive Press staff have been working from home - or out on the streets reporting, one plucky receptionist has been plugging away in the office.

With her gloves and hand sanitiser at the ready, Bea Sanllehi, 35, has been on call every day answering dozens of queries from worried expats.

‘Bea’s Helpline’ has so far fielded calls about supermarkets, driving, police, the Royal Decree rules and even walking the dog.

The mother-of-two, from Catalunya, recently lent a hand to a vulnerable 80-year-old man in Fuengirola, helping him cancel a standing order at the bank.

Meanwhile another Olive Press reader in Valencia called on her to help him find out what time his hospital appointment would be. As if that wasn’t enough, Bea also spent hours chasing up local pharmacies for protection masks.

She eventually found out stocks have almost completely run out due to the incredibly high de-

SINGLE IMPLANT

April 1st - April 14th 2020

mand, with deliveries due this week.

But Bea’s finest hour came as she assisted a British doctor’s scramble back to the UK on one of the last flights out of Spain.

“Bea is fantastic,” said Dr James Davies after she helped

demonstrate. “And it was as supporting the lockdown.

The paper was full of fun and well received as any editions I have distributed,” Distribution colourful ways to Manager Graget around the ham Warters lockdown and what to do with the kids One policeman explained.

“Even some at home. kindly gave us of the places I It is worth noting thought would that there were two pairs of be open were considerably more rubber gloves to shut, includcopies of the Olive ing paper Press in key spots wear shops. One like Overseas supoliceman permarket in Mijas kindly gave us and Marbella than our rivals, as photos clearly two pairs of rubber gloves.”

He continued: “Most of the guys were very upbeat, even Giles, him get a last minute Easyjet who does Marbella, was his norticket so he could fly back to be mal self.” with his family.

Columnist Giles Brown, who Bea said: “I feel obliged to help has done the Marbella distripeople and frustrated I cannot bution for six years, wasn’t so help more.” happy though when he got back The hard work put in by Bea to find his girlfriend insisting is admirable and sends out a he couldn’t come back in for clear message that we all have a ‘THREE weeks’. part to play in helping those in “I’m sure she’ll come round need. The Olive Press remains though,” he joked. open for business and ready to One key change was the usual answer your questions.

Gibraltar route, which had to be undertaken by editor Jon Give our team a call on +34 Clarke, and Gibraltar journalist 951 27 35 75 (office), +34 665 John Culatto. Due to the uncer79 86 18 (mobile) or write to tainty over the border’s closure, us at newsdesk@theolivethe pair were tasked with the press.es complicated procedure of get-

IMPLANT BRIDGE

MUCKING IN: Journalist John at Morrisons in Gib and (left) John Murray at the Village Store ting through customs at this stressful time.

But in the end there were no problems and the papers sailed through to all our key spots including Morrisons supermarket, and Eroski.

Meanwhile in the Costa Blanca, while many papers went out as planned on Thursday, plenty had to wait till Friday as many supermarkets were shut due to Father’s Day. If there is anything to sum up the week, it was the joy of British expat supermarket owner John Murray (above) on receiving an extra bundle at The Village Store, in Mollina, a 30-minute drive inland. “It’s great to get the paper and, particularly this week, with extra copies,” he said. “People will be thrilled.”

To conclude: Never a day late in 14 years, we didn’t plan to hit the newsstands late this week of all weeks!

And remember, if you miss it, you can always find it at www.theolivepress.es

IMPLANT DENTURE

www.theolivepress.es

Hospitals under strain SPAIN’S hospitals are near ‘breaking point’ with a deluge of critical Covid cases in the last few days.

A total of six autonomous regions are ‘very close’ to the limit of critical ICU beds, while Madrid and Catalunya have hit their capacity.

Deputy director of health alerts and emergencies, Maria Jose Sierra told a press conference: “What worries us most is the pressure on the ICUs. Although the trend is decreasing, the pressure in the coming weeks will be significant.”

Sierra was speaking, having stepped in for stricken Health Minister Fernando Simon, who has come down with the virus.

While she did not name the six regions, she added that an ‘impressive effort’ was being made to bring in more ICU beds.

Communities around the country are converting municipal buildings into temporary ICUs with Malaga converting the Carranque Sports Centre to hold a further 400 beds.

Unfair cop AN alarming 700-plus police have copped coronavirus, while 7,400 are in isolation around Spain.

It comes after three Guardia Civil agents died in Valdemoro, Aranjuez and Ciudad Real.

Four Guardia Civil bosses meanwhile are in isolation after three tested positive, while many National Police chiefs are also in danger.

A joint letter from various unions has called for officers to be recognised as ‘high-risk personnel’, insisting as many as 15,000 officers could be at risk.

Royal death A SPANISH royal has died of coronavirus.

Princess Maria Teresa - dubbed ‘the Red Princess’ - passed away in Paris at the age of 86.

Maria Teresa became Professor of Sociology at Madrid’s Complutense University after graduating in Political Science from the Sorbonne in Paris.

Her death came just a day after Prince Charles tested positive in England.

CORONAVIRUS SPECIAL

April 1st - April 14th 2020

Leading the charge

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Spanish flu survivor - 105 years old!

LEGENDS: From left to right, Leo, Rafa, Pau and Pep are all playing the part in the fight aginst coronavirus SPANISH sporting hero Rafa Nadal has teamed up with basketball ace Pau Gasol in a Red Cross campaign to raise €11 million to fight coronavirus.

They hope thousands more will donate to the Red Cross Responds campaign, which is giving aid to hospitals.

“This pandemic has changed everyone’s life, especially those who have experienced it first

Spanish sporting heroes including Messi, Rafa Nadal and Pep Guardiola - join campaign to raise €11 million in fight against coronavirus hand or with a family member,” said Mallorca ace Nadal.

“The news is not entirely en-

couraging, but we must be strong and stay united to beat the virus.”

Nadal added he believed his help would encourage many more donors, as ‘the Spanish people, have never failed us athletes.’

Nadal called on other sports-

men and bodies to make urgent donations.

The appeal comes after Manchester City manager Pep Guardiola and Barcelona forward Lionel Messi each donated €1 million to the fight against coronavirus.

Guardiola made his donation to the Angel Soler Daniel Foundation in Catalunya, while Messi’s contribution goes to hospitals in Barcelona and Argentina.

Real Madrid also made an undisclosed donation to purchase vital medical equipment for hospitals.

Thorny future

We’ve been left stranded HUNDREDS of British travellers have been left stranded in Spain, unable to follow UK Foreign Office instructions to return home immediately.

According to consumers’ group Which? Travel, an investigation found Ryanair, EasyJet and Jet2 have no more flights available to book from Spain.

It has left many British holidaymakers stranded and frightened.

Which? has been deluged with calls from people who have had to endure multiple cancelled flights and been given little to no information of what to do by the airlines.

One couple Sandra and Lewis Will had a flight booked with Ryanair from Alicante to Aberdeen on March 26.

When it was cancelled they rebooked for March 29, only for this flight to also be cancelled.

“We are in our seventies and I have recently been released from a Spanish hospital after having a mini-stroke, so this kind of stress does not help,” she said.

“We are in Spain under lockdown, hoping at some point there will be rescue flights.”

Ryanair offered a refund, which has been accepted as there were no alternative flights.

BRITISH snooker legend Willie Thorne has been locked down in a Spanish hospital battling leukaemia.

The sportsman, 66, who is also fighting prostate cancer, remains cut off from his three kids in the UK, due to the lockdown.

“It’s unbelievable, you couldn’t have written my script,” Thorne revealed, adding he was ‘punchdrunk’ after receiving his diagnosis, which he thought was a kidney infection.

“I’m vulnerable,” he added, “I’m not allowed visitors. I’m sitting in a room on my own. It’s absolutely terrible. All I’ve got is a 24-hour news channel and that’s all about the coronavirus, which is hard to watch.”

Thorne is held in isolation at the Costa Blanca hospital because he is at a higher risk of the Covid-19 virus.

The 80s star, who also appeared on Strictly Come Dancing after a stint as a BBC commentator moved to Villamartin, Alicante last year.

It came as he also split from his wife of 24 years, former Miss Great Britain Jill Saxby, who moved back to the UK. He has recently undergone a second round of chemo after being diagnosed with prostate cancer in 2015, before going bankrupt a year later.

We’ll drink to that AN Andalucian spirit-maker has changed production to produce hand sanitisers in the battle against corona-

virus.

Rute-based Machaquito Distillery is turning over its premises to fight the spread of

Covid-19.

The award-winning Cordoba distillery has put its workforce’s high tech equipment and personnel at the disposal of the Government.

One of the main aims is to keep the 100-plus staff in employment throughout the crisis.

It’s machinery will produce high quality glycerin gels and hand sanitisers free of charge.

“No business is worth anything without basic values,” said a spokesman.

“Fostering a fairer, more supportive society is the mission of this company.”

SPAIN’S only living survivor of the 1918 Spanish flu pandemic, ‘La Grippe’ has issued a dire warning about the severity of the coronavirus pandemic.

Jose Ameal Peña was four when the flu virus swept across the globe, claiming the lives of over 50 million people, making it the deadliest pandemic in human history.

Now aged 105, Jose has recallsed his experiences from his home in Luarca, Asturias, where 500 lost their lives to the disease.

“I watched from my window as a steady stream of funeral processions made their way to the cemetery,” he recalled, adding that he was the only one of seven siblings to catch the disease.

“I still can’t figure out how I’m here. When I woke up I could barely walk. I had to crawl on my hands and knees,” he recalls.

As he wrestled with a relentless fever, a doctor prescribed vapours of boiled eucalyptus and seaweed. He now fears a similar fate for the world if nations don’t stick together and that history will repeat itself.

“He knows exactly what is happening and is afraid that something similar will happen again, even though we’re living in very different times,” explained his daughter Anunciata.

Can’t pension us off!

A SUPER-strong Spaniard in his NINETIES has beaten off the coronavirus.

The 93-year-old has been discharged from hospital after battling the vicious virus in Valencia.

He was saluted as he left Gandia’s Francesc de Borja Hospital with policemen and ambulance drivers sounding their horns, while hundreds of health workers applauded.

His recovery brings a ray of hope to the 15% of victims in the Valencia region, who are over 80.

It comes as a 98-year-old victim Antonio Magdaleno also made a full recovery in Sevilla. The Granada man was clapped out as he went home.

Look to the heavens

A PRIEST has carried out a blessing from his church rooftop in Extremadura.

The priest of Arroyo de la Luz, where nearly 10 people have died out of 500 inhabitants, wore robes to conduct the moving 20-minute sermon.

The feat was seen by most of the neighbours, who were able to observe the act from their balconies.

He continued his pastoral work by celebrating Mass on the radio and on the parish’s Facebook page.

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OAP warning POLICE have warned pensioners to be vigilant when going to banks to pick up pensions or using the ATM in a bid to tackle theft during the state of alarm.

FOUR youths were arrested after a policeman was seriously injured with brain damage after being run over at a virus checkpoint near Toledo by a stolen car.

Evil hackers POLICE in Madrid have uncovered an attempt by hackers to ‘infect’ hospital computers with a virus. The cyber criminals are targeting civilians as well, trying to steal personal information.

April 1st - April 14th 2020

Into the frying pan

NEWS IN BRIEF

Checkpoint

CORONAVIRUS SPECIAL

EXCLUSIVE

By Charlie Smith

A STRANDED British chef who feared he had coronavirus has been placed in an ‘impossible situation’ by his hire car company in Spain.

Yianni Papoutsis, 44, named as one of Britain’s 500 most influential people by society bible Debrett’s, fears he could be arrested after his Goldcar contract expired.

The restaurant mogul behind London’s ‘MEATliquor’ brand had ‘a nightmare’ after he jetted into Granada on March 10 with girlfriend Sophie O’Hara to celebrate her 26th birthday.

He rented a car for €220, but when the couple’s flights were cancelled due to the Covid-19 outbreak, they desperately tried to extend its lease.

Gone Viral

SPAIN’S summer anthem has already arrived and is – you guessed it – about the coronavirus pandemic.

Part Latin dance banger, part public information broadcast, ‘#QuedateEnCasa’ has got the nation bopping along to a very serious message – ‘stay in your house’.

Singer-songwriter Ariel de Cuba’s now-viral tune is helping lift the nation’s spirits since a state of alarm was declared in Spain.

The Cuban artist introduces the song by

Funeral trio

Catch-22 as quarantined UK celebrity chef faces arrest whether he takes hire car back or not However, after repeated attempts, he was unable to modify the agreement, which expired on March 21.

The pair are now stuck with the car - which they are not driving - in the town of Gojar, and, incredibly, were told by Goldcar to ‘expect a visit from police’.

An email from the rental giant on March 23, seen by the Olive Press, explains that police could ‘seize’ the vehicle due to its ‘misappropriation.’

Marketing specialist Sophie told the Olive Press that she and Yianni, who is on pain medication and has heart problems, have had ‘anxiety

saying: “Hello my people, my best contribution to the campaign #QuedateEnCasa against coronavirus is with music.”

Ariel who currently lives in Spain, performs the song complete with dance moves accompanying the lyrics, covering his mouth with his elbow as has been advised after coughing or sneezing.

The upbeat track advises people that the best course of action is to stay at home as ‘the planet needs your attitude’.

It is the perfect tempo for a spot of zumba, and can also be enjoyed blasted across the street to those on a neighbouring balcony.

attacks’ over the situation.

“I’m literally shaking,” she revealed, “We don’t know if we will be able to sleep tonight both from the fact that Yianni thinks he has the virus and the police could arrest us at any time.”

The rental giant confirmed it is offering free contract extensions to affected customers, but after ‘dozens’ of calls and emails, the couple have so far been unsuccessful.

A Goldcar staff member in Madrid confirmed that the Granada Airport office is closed and does not have a key deposit box in order to return the car.

They advised that Yianni, who has advised the British government on food policy, instead make the 300km-round trip to the next-nearest drop-off point at Malaga Airport, but added that Goldcar would NOT cover the return taxi fare.

They would also effectively be breaking current quarantine rules in force in Spain.

Yianni said: “If they have reported the car as stolen I will be arrested at the first roadblock. “I’m really sick and the fact that I’m being told to drive

ANXIOUS: UK pair to an airport and get in a taxi is just absurd.

“I should be lying in bed and self-isolating and not going out,” he continued.

“It’s an impossible situation, it’s Catch-22.”

Extended

According to the couple they have been told that there are ‘more than 1,000 customers’ in this situation.

A Goldcar spokesperson confirmed they would be helping the couple and that they would not be charged a late return fee.

She said: “The safety of our customers is a priority, especially during the Coronavirus pandemic.

“Our Customer Service team has been in touch with Mr Papoutsis and his rental period has been extended until April 7.”

The pair have since set up their lockdown food blog @ nice.olation on Instagram, which includes recipes for gazpacho and Plato Alpujareño.

THE government has restricted the number of people allowed to attend funerals in Spain.

Only three relatives or friends are allowed to attend under new COVID-19 edicts - and they must all stand at least one metre apart. The Ministry of Health has, however, ordered that during the state of emergency, the prices of funerals may not be higher than the price on March 14.

If the price is higher, customers are entitled to a refund.

It’s a cakewalk!

GIBRALTAR leader Fabian Picardo has brushed off the forced lockdown as little more than a cakewalk and a chance to catch up on what we had missed on TV. “Let’s not be 21st Century snowflakes,” he told the enclave. “The evacuation generation went through war... The referendum generation went through General Franco...

The closed frontier generation went through a siege...

“All we have to do is go through our Netflix collections or very full kitchen cupboards. Let’s not pretend that this is harder than it is.”

Island tragedy THE Coronavirus crisis will cost Mallorca €1.8 BILLION and lead to 400,000 job losses.

The alarming figures come as thousands of businesses opted to implement ERTEs, a temporary lay off of workers, around the island.

More than 2,000 companies have already submitted a request to roll out ERTEs since the lockdown was enforced by the Spanish government.

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www.theolivepress.es Voted top expat paper in Spain

A campaigning, community newspaper, the Olive Press represents the huge expatriate community in Spain with an estimated readership, including the websites, of more than two million people a month.

OPINION We’ll all get back in the water IT is now the third week of the most draconian lockdown in Spanish history and the army is on the streets.

Everyone is wondering how much longer it will last, praying that April 11 will be our last day of confinement.

Then there is the fear of uncertainty, the fear for our loved ones, fear for our jobs, and fear for the future and what the fallout of this unprecedented crisis will hold.

Yet amid this period of alarm, there is an incredible sense of togetherness.

All around the country locals are trying to stay positive by joining together each evening at 8pm to applaud the nurses, doctors and police working hard on the frontline to keep us all safe.

Meanwhile we are all sharing tips and tricks to stay busy and sane...and sending out hilarious videos and memes.

Above all, we are trying to use the time wisely (and remember we may never have anything like this again) as we search for positives, such as a much necessary drop in air pollution and fewer road deaths.

With the army and police halting movement, it is a time to sit back and hope that the governments of Europe have the people’s best interests at play.

We must trust that they really believe that these extreme restrictions will lead to results.

So sit back and enjoy the sound of birds and bees in the garden, the chance to play with the kids and to improve your Spanish, and remember - once this is all over, and it WILL be over sometime soon - we will get back to normal and enjoy our lives as we did before.

It may, of course, take some time for people to want to submerge themselves back into crowds or get back on a plane, but as seen in the 80s blockbuster Jaws, eventually we all go back into the water!

Publisher / Editor

Jon Clarke, jon@theolivepress.es Charlie Smith charlie@theolivepress.es

Joshua Parfitt joshua@theolivepress.es

Laurence Dollimore laurence@theolivepress.es

John Culatto johnc@theolivepress.es

Dimitris Kouimtsidis dimitris@theolivepress.es

Gillian Keller gillian@theolivepress.es

Joanne Oakley joanne@theolivepress.es

Simon Wade simon@theolivepress.es

Admin Beatriz Sanllehí (+34) 951 273 575 admin@ theolivepress.es

Office manager Héctor Santaella (+34) 658 750 424 accounts@ theolivepress.es

Distribution ENQUIRIES (+34) 951 273 575 distribution@ theolivepress.es

Newsdesk: 0034 951 273 575 For all sales and advertising enquiries please contact 951 27 35 75 Head office

Carretera Nacional 340, km 144.5, Calle Espinosa 1, Edificio cc El Duque, planta primera, 29692, Sabinillas, Manilva Deposito Legal MA: 835-2017

AWARDS

2016 - 2020 Best expat paper in Spain and the second best in the world. The Expat Survey Consumer Awards.

2012 - 2020 Named the best English language publication in Andalucia by the Rough Guides group.

CORONAVIRUS SPECIAL

We’ll survive A T a time of uncertainty for all, and with drastic measures in place to fight coronavirus, Spain’s economy has understandably been hit hard.

The loss of Semana Santa, Sevilla’s Feria de Abril, the Jerez moto GP and many more key Andalucia events has sent seismic shock waves through the region that will have knockon effects for most businesses, whether they deal directly with tourists or not.

Local expats show their true grit in the face of the COVID-19 catastrophe

As the nation enters into an enforced lockdown until April 10 and maybe beyond, the Olive Press asked a series of top expat businesses how they are coping and what measures they are taking to stay afloat.

Trying the knot

“We are still talking to clients around the world about future bookings,” says Scott from Sunshine Weddings Spain, which has been splicing couples in Andalucia for nearly two decades.

“But 2020 will become the first year the wedding season does not kick-off as planned. All weddings in April have been postponed and those in May are up in the air.

“Right now we are working on a dayto-day basis. Nobody knows how long coronavirus will affect us, that is out of our hands.

“But what is in our hands, is to reassure our couples they are not alone and that we will do everything possible to guarantee their perfect wedding, whether sooner or later.

“I have been working around the clock since to speak with each couple to discuss concerns and to seek solutions.

“My days have begun with calls to Australia and Singapore and with chats to clients in the US, Canada and Ecuador.

“This is an unsettling time for everyone, but if we are all patient and heed the rules, the lockdown period will be as brief as possible.”

SPECIAL DISPATCH: Soldiers from Spain’s crack Foreign Legion sent out to close roads around inland Andalucia as coronavirus takes an alarming hold, writes Jon Clarke

“Plans, projects, master classes, excursions, competitions, everything has been put on hold,” says Sarah Vogelin of Kizz Latin Dance, Benalmadena.

“Even worse I have caught the virus and am staying indoors in isolation.

“I’ve been bedridden for the last ten days, tired and drained. Isolated from my husband and children.

But I have been staying positive and making plans of how to survive when back on my feet.

“I’m going to offer online master classes, daily routines for beginners, intermediate and advanced levels in the three disciplines I specialise in.”

Cooking up plans “We are posting daily videos and recipes on our social media channels to encourage people to cook during this difficult time,” reports Mariola Ustaran at the Food Room cookery school.

“Cooking is a great activity for adults and kids to take their minds off their problems and get creative, so I hope that sharing our recipes and videos will give them more ideas and inspiration.

“Many clients have written me nice messages and hopefully they will come back to us after this period. I am trying to take each day as it comes, so I don’t worry too much.

“Hopefully things will get back to normal and people will come back to our cooking school to learn and have fun.

“Also, I think people will be having more events after this lockdown so our catering and private chef service will be in demand.”

Army on the str

L

IKE a tour of north Belfast during the troubles, four Spanish soldiers stand sentinel at a key junction in an inland town of Andalucia.

Ignore the purple marigold gloves, not since an attempted coup by Antonio Tejero in 1981 has the Foreign Legion, based in nearby Ronda, been out on the streets.

This is the entrance to Arriate from Setenil de las Bodegas and more crucially Alcala del Valle, where an alarming 58 people have so far been diagnosed with the deadly coronavirus and three have died, revealed an Olive Press source.

Just a short 20 minute drive down the scenic MA-7403, only essential traffic and the local bus is still being allowed to take the journey.

The authorities in the Serrania de Ronda area are taking no chances.

The Ronda regional hospital is steadily filling up with its own urgent cases of the deadly COVID-19 virus.

The Olive Press can reveal that so far four people have died in the celebrated inland town, with according to local police, ‘at least 18 people’ in a serious condition.

“The authorities have so far been keeping things quiet so

I have the virus but we won’t stop the dance

WATCHFUL EYE: Soldiers keep watch on all cars passing through the village of Arriate as not to alarm the local population, but the truth needs to get out,” revealed a local policeman, who asked not to be quoted.

“Things are much more serious here in Andalucia than the locals realise,” he added.

“We don’t want to panic people too much but they need to be worried and take precautions. Basically stay indoors.”

This is very much the case in Alcala del Valle, a village of 5500 people just across the Malaga/Cadiz border, where at least 36 residents of an elderly care home and an alarming 21 health workers have so-far tested positive.

In total, the village has an estimated 100-plus people with the virus (with three dead so far dead, two dying on Monday).

So critical is the condition that local mayor Rafael Aguilera has ordered the total shutting down of the village

and ordered everyone into isolation.

He has also rolled up his sleeves and gone in to work as a nurse at the care home, where staff shortages have become desperate.

At the weekend, the army’s Unidad Militar del Ejercito (UME) went around the streets officially disinfecting the virus and the care home.

And, after the mayor made an urgent appeal to the Junta de Andalucia, saying the town felt ‘abandoned’, mattresses, blankets and, more crucially, oxygen arrived for the elderly patients.

“It’s been a total circus,” explained local cameraman Pepe Frances. “Things moved so slowly until today when suddenly everything arrived in a rush.

“It’s fair to say the town is in lockdown and everyone is very worried.”

And this is why Ronda’s crack La Legion (Foreign Legion)

regiment was sent out to help lockdown the entire area.

While a quarter of the 800 regiment is currently serving in Mali, over 100 have been sent out to help the police in the Serrania de Ronda keep as many people at home as possible.

They are currently stationed on the streets in Ronda, Arriate, Setenil, Benaojan and Montejaque, while at the weekend they were also sent out into Granada province and down to Marbella and next door Benahavis and Estepona.

Inland, I joined them patrolling, alongside four local policemen and two Guardia Civil patrols in Arriate, a village of over 5000 people, just seven kilometres from Ronda, and seen as a critical weak spot, in danger from the vi-

April 1st - April 14th 2020

7

ve and thrive!

People will embrace contact after isolation

SUPPORT: Estelle

This is a challenge, but we are resilient “We have seen a drop off of clients as companies look for ways to decrease their costs,” explains Georgina Shaw, of Shaw Marketing Services, based on the Costa del Sol. “Unfortunately, marketing is often one of the first things to be cut, even though in times like these you need it more than ever.

“Our clients have been great

treets

and I know they wish they didn’t have to cut back, but we understand they need to control their bottom line and will use us again as soon as able.

“Given our business launched during the financial crisis 12 years ago, I know we’re resilient and can cope with tough times, but there’s no doubt this is a challenge.

“One thing for sure, there will be a lag while the customers come back into the restaurants and shops before the owners feel confident to resume their marketing efforts, so we have to be prepared to feel the effects for quite a long time to come.

“However, on the flip side, once doors open again and normality resumes, businesses will need marketing more than ever to boost their profits and so I hope that will lead to new clients and campaigns for us.”

“We have had to shut down as it’s hard to maintain a two-metre distance as hands-on practitioners,” explains Estelle Mitchell, who has run Bodyworks Health Clinic physiotherapy and wellness centre, near San Pedro, for the last 15 years.

“Most of our team of 10 are solely hands-on and need the patient in the same room, so are unable to work, while some can do some work online.

“We are offering video and telephone consultations where appropriate, and are giving as much advice and support as we can.

“Fortunately our clients have been incredibly understanding and supportive and we are trying to do the same for them.

“Right now the future is a blurry place, I think this situation will create some big shifts, but for better or worse, I don’t know.

“What I can see are people embracing contact after isolation and I’ll continue to do my best to help people stay active and pain free.”

OUR WORK HAS GONE VIRAL “I am far busier than usual and even have regular students complaining that they can’t find slots in my calendar to book lessons,” said John Wilkins, an online language teacher.

“I have seen my bookings double since the lockdown, with clients taking advantage of the extra time to brush up on language skills.

“However, sadly my partner who had just started a new job just four days before the lockdown in a local restaurant, has been forced to stay at home.

“He’s finding it difficult to cope with the boredom and of course it’s been a hit on our finances with him not bringing money in.”

we’re working out on the web!

“Because of the state of alarm we had to close because you can’t do anything in groups,” explains Adam Turner at Turnilla Yoga, Estepona.

“Also we can’t travel to give people private classes because it’s not deemed as essential work.”

“What we’re doing instead is making videos putting them on Youtube so people can practice out of the studio.

“Hopefully things will go back to normal fairly soon but until then we’re trying to make the most of the time we get to spend at home with our kids.” rus. Friendly, but also incredibly professional, they garnered total respect from the locals. After all, I was told that at least two villagers have so far caught the virus, while there is also a big residential care home ‘at risk’.

Thanks to this incredible military operation, the village went into lockdown, while two tankers and three tractors went about disinfecting every street and building in the town.

“We are taking no chances,” explained local policeman Manuel, whose own father is a pensioner in nearby Alcala del Valle. “It’s a very worrying time and we must ensure what happened there doesn’t come here.”

It is a scene being carried out in thousands of towns and villages around Spain this week.

Zero hotel staff is a 20 year first “We are learning to live in a near-total lockdown situation.” explains Andy Chapell, boss of Benaojan’s popular Molino del Santo hotel.

“We were due to open on March 27 but now we have no idea when we will be able to welcome guests again.

“Things are changing very quickly – and we hope they may change just as quickly in a positive way and that we will be able to open again sooner rather than later. Who knows? We are of course concerned for our staff who did not start working this season.

it’s business as usual for us “Although our offices are closed we are offering the same service as usual,” says Sonia Fendley, of STM Nummos Life, specialists in private health insurance.

“Our clients are located in different parts of the world - as well as Spain - so we can continue to offer advice and support via the telephone and internet in much the same way.

“Everyone we have talked to has been grateful for any assistance we have been able to give.

“Unlike other businesses, I don’t foresee much change after this is over, as people will continue to require health insurance.

Some will also be grateful for the peace of mind it offers them during times like these.

“Others may wish they had it, so decide to take out a policy.”

“We met to tell them of the decision on the terrace and at a safe distance.

It was so strange not to exchange hugs and handshakes – we all, without question, kept well apart.

“Even Sergio the gardener has been made redundant so for the first time in over 20 years there is no-one employed at the hotel.

“The staff will get a minimum payment from the government and, on the positive side, there is great support within the community.

“We will get through this and hope that many of us will slow down the pace of our lives and be a little more concerned for the well-being of others in the future.”

Olive Press online ‘Spain’s best English news website’

Users

2.4M

4.3 M 6.6 M

ON TOP: Olive Press website traffic for March

Going national

I

T is not often you get to include yourself in a select group of publishers, some who’ve been in business for OVER A CENTURY. But this week our online portal www.theolivepress.es has soared to new heights... and even above the UK’s long-established Daily Mirror, set up in 1903.

Sitting at 134th position in the most-read websites in the UK this week, we are also above the Metro, the Daily Star AND every regional newspaper you can name, according to Amazon’s Alexa.com.

It is a true honour to be jostling for position with one of the true greats of British publishing, the campaigning Mirror, a once five-million selling tabloid, whose famous editor Hugh Cudlipp, wrote the book Publish and be Damned!.

Of course, we know much of this is down to the current coronavirus crisis, but equally it is down to our excellent team of hard-working journalists.

The group of 16 scribes scattered around the country (and one currently trapped in London), have written a steady stream of exclusive stories on the biggest health emergency of our times.

So good they are, that over three days last week, one lazy, low-rent local rag, copied A SHOCKING 34 of them onto its website within a few hours of us publishing them.

But that’s not all.

Top 200 in Spain

In Spain, our website has also soared into the Top 200, sitting at 183rd position this week.

And globally, we sit at 6,372th most important site (by hits), if you accept Alexa’s analytics (right).

But even if you don’t you’ll hopefully trust our actual Google analytics figures, which we publish above.

They make for enticing reading for any business owner looking to get seen around Spain in these troubling times.

6,372 # 139

# 183 2.4 million audience in March For if you had a banner on our website, or a story - be it a sponsored, native or natural post - you could have been seen by up to 2.4 MILLION unique visitors in March alone.Now the country is just a couple of weeks from finally opening up again, isn’t it time you gave us a call to see how we can help get your business a much-needed post Covid head start?

Here are the top five most read stories on www.theolivepress.es in the past two weeks: - Lock-down may be working in Alicante province, no new Coronavirus cases for 24 hours (62,804 visitors)

1

BEEN WARNED’: Police and military 2- ‘YOU’VE to crackdown on rule-breakers (55,568) Spanish actress and La Casa de Papel 3- Famous star tests positive for coronavirus (45,054) ALL airports and ports to close in 4- BREAKING: Spain from midnight tonight (44,218) TOUCH: Pornhub offers free access to 5- NICEpremium content in Spain (40,682)

Get in touch today at sales@theolivepress.es or call us at 00 34 951273575 for a special quote

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Road deaths plummet DEATH crashes have dropped by three quarters since the coronavirus crisis began.

The number of deaths since the lockdown was imposed is 73% lower than the same period last year.

Only 13 people have died in traffic accidents compared to 48 in the same period in March last year.

There were five days in March when nobody died on the roads.

Flooding alert

DOZENS of incidents of flooding were seen along the Costa del Sol this week.

A total of 20 emergency calls were dealt with in Malaga city and nearby Campanillas as up to 90 litres of rain per metre squared fell over a 12 hour period.

Orange alerts were called as a number of rivers and streams burst their banks on the coast and inland in Alhaurin de la Torre.

The warning from Spain’s state weather agency AEMET meant ‘significant risk’ of flooding early on Wednesday morning too.

Yellow warnings were also put in place for storms in Antequera, Cordoba, Sevilla and Huelva.

Temperatures are expected to drop to as little as seven degrees in Ronda, while snow could fall in Catalunya and Asturias.

AND (MOSTLY) ON THE BRIGHT SIDE

April 1st - April 14th 2020

Silver lining

POLLUTION levels around Spain have plummeted thanks to the coronavirus.

Cities have seen drops of up to 83% as traffic and industry abates.

Barcelona saw the biggest drop in Nitrogen Oxide (NO2) levels of 83%, while Madrid had a 73% drop and Valencia followed with 64%.

Other cities have also seen huge decreases in pollution, such as Castellon 76%, Ali-

Nationwide pollution drops dramatically - as do deaths - thanks to coronavirus

By Joanne Oakley

cante 68%, Bilbao 66%, Malaga, 55%, Zaragoza, 52% and Sevilla, 36%.

According to Greenpeace, the amount of NO2 currently being emitted in Spain is under half of the levels permitted by

the World Health Organisation (WHO).

It is the first time since the regulations came into force in 2010, that Madrid has not breached the designated levels.

In Barcelona the accumulation of NO2 halved after just three days.

Safe and sound MISSING mumof-two, Claire Ann Perry, 33, who was last seen getting into a taxi in Mijas on February 26 has been found.

The British expat, who had been on her way to Malaga Airport when she vanished, is now recovering in hospital.

It is currently unknown what happened to her.

The majority has been due to a 60% drop of traffic on the roads of Madrid and Barcelona, while in Andalucia up to 80%.

Clearer

An added halt in human activity and consumption, plus a reduction in industrial production is all helping to create cleaner air and clearer waters.

“The extraordinary situation will reduce the thousands of deaths that poor air quality causes each year,” said Adrian Fernandez, head of the Greenpeace mobility campaign.

An estimated 4.5 million people die each year from coal, oil and gas pollution around the globe.

Crime drop Crimes in Spain have dropped by 50% since the state of alarm began Almost all crimes have dropped dramatically apart from cybercrime which has increased however due to a change in habits since the lockdown, revealed the Guardia Civil.

Sky high

THE price of marijuana has skyrocketed due to the lockdown.

A gram of the drug, smoked by an estimated 10% of the Spanish population, has doubled in price.

According to sources, a gram has gone up from €5 to nearly €15 over the last week.

It comes as the new freedom of movement lockdown has made it harder for dealers to reach their clients, with police stopping people and fining them if they don’t have a valid reason for being out of their homes.

Stand and deliver A SPANIARD has been arrested for a series of bandit-style highway robberies.

The gypsy blocked roads with rocks near his shanty town home, in El Vacie, near Sevilla, forcing drivers to stop.

The man, 40, then robbed the cars’ occupants while wearing a face mask.

Police swooped in after various incidents were reported near midnight.

The man was arrested, while various accomplices fled.

Police confirmed the man had been arrested on a total of 18 previous occasions.

LA CULTURA

9

April 1st- April 14th 2020

Sleeping beauties

Don’t mention the war!

ONE cheeky fan of a yet-to-be cancelled show by legendary comic John Cleese, pleaded with the star: ‘Please don’t die, I've got tickets!’

It comes as the iconic Monty Python star confirmed he is ‘self-isolating’ from coronavirus ahead of his landmark first gig in Mallorca.

The 80-year-old British funnyman, who is in the ‘at-risk’ category for Covid-19, is still set to play Palma Auditorium on April 16.

The show is part of Cleese’s Last Chance To See Me Before I Die tour, which is still set to go ahead, according to the venue’s website. But fans are worried for the star, including Dutchman, Sidney Brandeis, who posted online: “Stay safe and please don't die. I bought tickets for your show.”

Cleese said: “Thank you. I am self-isolating but little has changed as I have very few friends.”

Delights of staying in

L WHILE Spain’s streets remain bereft of human life, a few new and colourful faces are still out and about in Estepona.

Just before the coronavirus lockdown came into force, the town’s annual mural competition returned. But it is unlikely the 10 new selected works will be seen by most any time soon, so the Olive Press set about capturing these sleeping beauties. Pictured are murals by El Chorro Arts, Vyacheslav Gunin and Andre Farkas.

Virtual visits

THE Guggenheim museum in Bilbao has created a virtual platform for its website and social networks in which it will publish videos recorded inside the museum.

The videos will show its exhibitions and some of the more unknown aspects of the museum.

This digital initiative is called #GuggenheimBilbaoLive, and will continually release new audiovisual content related to exhibitions and interesting facts.

The aim of this virtual platform is to ‘accompany and inspire’ and to make the confinement during the state of the alarm more bearable.

Museum staff will also share anecdotes about the current exhibitions and their favourite works and answer any questions about the Guggenheim.

Initial videos have already been published such as an exhibition relating to Olafur Eliasson, with more to be added over the next few days.

OOKING for the perfect Spanish series to watch while locked down, take your pick.

Best of these is La Casa de Papel, which returns for its fourth series to Netflix this week.

The hit series, known as ‘Money Heist’ in English, will hit screens on April 3, a great reason to stay indoors and binge on the next chapter of our favourite characters, El Profesor, Moscow, Denver, Helsinki, Tokio, Rio and Lisboa – who is currently recovering from coronavirus.

It’s great drama and a superb way to learn some Spanish.

Here are five other shows, featuring the case of La Casa de Papel, worth looking out for:

Mirage

– A mystery surrounding two storms 25 years apart sees El Profesor playing a very different role as husband David Ortiz.

Elite

– An exclusive private school sees clashes between the working class and the wealthy leading to murder. Herran plays a soldier in this historical war film

Lord, Give Me Patience - If you’re missing Moscow you can find him in this dysfunctional family comedy

Locked up –

The pair, Alba Flores and Alicia Sierra team up as close friends in this prison thriller

Who would you take to a Desert Island? -

Denver is one of four friends sharing a flat in Madrid

To Steal from a Thief

– Another bank robbery theme if Money Heist isn’t enough for you

10

April 1st- April 14th 2020

K

LA CULTURA

Rolling the Dice with Henry and Juan

ING Henry VIII was nothing like his father.

The merry monarch’s extreme behavior is well known: there were the six wives, the gluttony and obesity (he weighed 28 stones or 400lbs), the extravagant spending and his unerring belief in the ‘divine right of kings’.

Henry VII was quite the opposite. His long marriage to Elizabeth of York has been described as one of ‘faithful love and respect from which the King drew great strength’. Physically, he was also unlike his corpulent son, prosperity during his 24-year Henry VII was tall and slender reign. with an ‘amiable but serious Father and son did share a common trait, however. countenance’.

But the most glaring contrast They both had a penchant between father and son was for gambling. Neither though in their fiscal policies. Son was very skillful or very lucky.

Henry spent lavishly and For example, Henry VIII once foolishly, squandering much gambled away the beloved of the Crown’s treasury. He Jesus Bells of St. Paul’s fought costly wars, made Church on a single roll of the poor investment decisions dice. True to form, he saw and nearly bankrupted the to it that the winner of that monarchy. Evidently, he had bet, Sir Miles Partridge, was learned nothing from his convicted of treason and subsequently more pragmatic hung publicly at father.

London’s TowHenry VII, by He lost a bet er Hill. Later, contrast, had been success- that ended with the eighth Henry suffered a ful in restoring power and sta- Juan from Lepe two-year losing racking bility to the Enwinning the UK streak, up gambling glish monarchy after the civil crown for a day debts equivalent today to war. He created tens of millions an efficient and of pounds. The equitable system of taxation that stabilised the crown’s fi- seventh Henry was more minances. Henry VII was able to serly and gambled more for maintain relative peace and sport with one notable excep-

Did you know England was once ruled by an Andalucian sailor named Juan? Jack Gaioni reveals a fascinating historical tale that has been buried - until now

tion. Although typically very cautious, he actually lost a bet that resulted in him losing his crown to an Andalusian sailor.

Strange but true …

During his reign, the politics were such that Henry VII needed an alliance with the newly united Spanish kingdom. He sought to offset England’s continued quarrels with France. Perhaps this is one reason Henry welcomed a young Spanish sailor named Juan de Lepe into his

GAMBLERS: Henry VIII and his dad (left) lost a lot court.

Juan was smart and gregarious. Over time, he became a trustworthy confidant of the king.

Juan had been born in the small pueblo of Lepe on the Costa de la Luz, in Cadiz. He was a common sailor with no aristocratic lineage or political power. But he was also, as Henry VII soon found out, a shrewd and talented gambler.

It started out as a joke but in one particular gambling session Juan won an incredible bet. The prize was the Kingdom of England - but only for 24 hours! It seems as though, with a roll of the dice, Henry gambled away the jurisdiction of the entire kingdom

for one calendar day. Henry is said to have proclaimed: “Juan, thou shalt be king for a day - just one day”. He nicknamed Juan ‘the little King of England’.

Juan took full advantage of his day in the sun. He used his short-lived privilege to collect rents, debts and other revenues from the entire kingdom. He did well. Legend has it that he was able to fill a ship with all the booty he could manage. He returned to Lepe shortly thereafter with a wealth far greater than anything he had known as an Andalucian sailor. He lived the rest of his life in comfort, donating much of his fortune to his hometown convent, Nuestra Senora de la Bella.

His only request was to be buried in the convent grounds.

If you scour the history books, you will not find Juan de Lepe mentioned in the chronological chain of English monarchs. The historical records are incomplete and English sources are silent on this chapter of Henry’s life. Is this British folklore, Spanish legend or unadulterated fiction?

Perhaps. But it’s a story that has long been told to school children along Spain’s Costa de la Luz. There is a street dedicated to Juan de Lepe that overlooks the townhall. More telling is a grave that is still visible on the convent’s grounds of someone called Juan de Lepe.

LAST LAUGH: The much-teased Leperos make a lot of money from their famous strawberries

APRIL FOOLS - FOR THE FOOLS OF LEPE Given the above, it seems unfair that the people of Lepe have been the butt of jokes for centuries in Spain, maybe even as far back as 1492.

Perhaps thanks to the legendary resident, Rodrigo Perez de Acevedo who gained a reputation for idiocy while on the first transatlantic maritime expedition with Christopher Columbus.

After shouting that he had seen land during the night which would have been impossible, the reputation stuck.

Although, another legend maintains that rumours were spread by a jealous neighbouring village.

The Leperos accepted this new status, launching a comedy festival and appearing as naive in their own sto-

ries. Now, for any Spanish joke requiring a ‘fool’, people look no further then the people of Lepe.

Although in 2011, it was suggested that the ‘chiste lepero’ be declared an Asset of Cultural Interest and the surrounding strawberry fields have brought a lot of wealth to the town, begging the question, who has had the last laugh?

LA CULTURA

11

April 1st- April 14th 2020

Lockdown with a good book Where the Crawdads Sing by Delian Owens A masterfully written debut about a girl growing up utterly alone, abandoned by family and shunned by the locals, her isolation is intense and often unbearable, but she never loses hope. A beautiful read.

Professional bookworm Alicia Duggan reveals the top 10 self-isolation reads that should be on every expat’s list Ulysses by James Joyce Ulysses is famously the book that most people own but few have read.

This is the perfect opportunity to have a go at this witty and erudite literary classic.

Joe Wicks – Literally anything by him!

In lockdown it is easy to become sedentary. Joe Wicks’ books offer delicious, healthy recipes and easy to follow exercise routines which you can also find on YouTube.

The Eyes of Darkness by Dean Koontz This novel rereleased in 1989 is a standard, run-ofthe-mill thriller except for one aspect; it deals with a virus originating in Wuhan, China which becomes a global pandemic!! Is Dean Koontz the new Nostradamus? (The 1981 edition has the virus originating in Russia but by 1989 it has changed to China)

The Ghosts of Spain by Giles Tremlett Written with humour, great affection and full of interesting insights, this is considered The Bible for extranjeros who want to learn some Spanish history and understand Spain.

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy Trilogy in Five Parts by Douglas Adams Now, more than ever, we need a good laugh. These five hilarious novels by the late, great Douglas Adams will have you laughing out loud. Follow Arthur Dent and Ford Prefect as they travel the galaxy looking for the ultimate question to life, the universe and everything while trying to get a really good cup of tea.

DK (Hugo) Spanish in 3 Months So, hopefully the lockdown won’t last for a full three months! However, self-improvement is always a good way to pass time and Learn Spanish in 3 Months is an easy and comprehensive approach which takes you from beginner to intermediate level.

The Enemy by Charlie Higson A sickness has swept through the adult population killing most and turning the rest in to flesh eating zombies. Only those under 14 are immune. Now they must fight for survival. Although marketed as a YA book, this post-apocalyptic novel is an exciting, fast paced action horror for all ages.

Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett Maybe now is not the best time for a novel about the end of the world, but Good Omens is like a warm duvet of a book, enveloping you in it’s good humoured and good natured tale of fussy, sensitive angel Aziraphale, charming demon best friend Crowley and their attempt to avert the apocalypse.

Killing Commendatore by Haruki Murakami Killing Commendatore is the perfect introduction to the genius that is Haruki Murakami. His novels are enchantingly surreal and this one involves a reclusive artist, a mysterious hidden painting, a secret Nazi assassination attempt and a trip through the underworld. And at 704 pages it will pass many a lockdown hour!

LETTERS

12

April 1st- April 14th 2020 Check out our issues online at www.theolivepress.es Mallorca Issue 76 WE’VE GOT YOU COVERED!

OLIVE PRESS MALLORCA

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Olive Press online

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YOUR ONLINE PORTAL TO TRUST

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It has been the fastest moving story in our 14 years of publishing... and we have hardly stopped to draw breath.

March 20th - April 2nd, 2020 Vol. 3 Issue 76 www.theolivepress.es

Well over a MILLION people have visited our site over the last week thanks to our coverage of the coronavirus online with hourly updates even throughout the weekend.

7,485 globally

CIVIL WAR

this week as lockdown tightens at a key intersection in Palma ON GUARD: Soldiers keep watch soldiers and DESERTED streets, patrolling border closures. like the This past week has left Spain looking set of a post-apocalyptic film trailer. now near As the country’s coronavirus cases to know that 18,000, it is however, comforting the governdecisive action is being taken by ment. acts of heartAmid the lockdown in Mallorca, through. warming humanity have also shoneSon EspanFrom a DJ entertaining Palma’s (see back yolet district with daily rooftop gigs balcotheir page), to residents coming out on the virus, nies to applaud the doctors battling has been the solidarity shown on the island more than stirring. and shelter Others meanwhile prepared food residents in for the homeless, while Chinese and medical Soller donated hundreds of masks supplies to the authorities. on free a normally Although the massive clampdown A veil of silence has settled upon Civil movement, not seen since the Spanish of coronavirus halt the teeming island as the number War, is already helping some regions Mallorca’s rapid infection rate of COVID-19, of cases continues to spike in Mallorca cases are spiking and show the importance especially for an island that week, the conforming to the rules. In just onedoubled to on PA systems in Spanish, Catalan, Eng- for some time, on tourism. sound across depends so heavily number of confirmed cases has the sec- lish and German continue to stay indoors. Expat-run ‘Look Mallorca’ luxury rentals to reach 128, and a cancer patient became the Olive Press the situation after becom- the island, warning people ond victim killed by coronavirus rebels have Those who flout the emergency orders will business told as it reduces its working to €30,000, is ‘frightening’, ing infected in hospital. Elsewhere, looting be slapped with fines of up already been hours for all employees. defied the self-confinement orders, biting a po- and dozens of people have who walked “Despite giving clients every opportunity day-care centres, vandalising cars, In one sanctioned, including a man reservation dates on their considered nec- to change the every single one has canlice officer and threatening neighbours. arrested af- his dog for longer than appalling incident, a local thug wasthe street, to essary. Units from Palma’s 47th Infantry villa bookings, a spokesperson. while sol- celled,” explained ter he chased an elderly lady down mean- Regiment are bolstering patrols, be contained, but its impact repeatedly cough in her face. The airport and diers have been drafted in from Valencia’s The virus will still awaits to be seen. while, is running an eerie ghost schedule, message regiment to disinfect streets. is concealing all ports have now been closed. This Crisis special, p2-7 many, the pandemic responsibility is driven home But for economic damage that could last of civil by the police, where messages the huge daily

Don’t mention the war!

It is, of course, a # horrorshow for all of us with # businesses in tourism, retail or catering on the island. But we are all in the same boat and now you are all stuck at home, trying to stay healthy, we are working even harder to ensure we keep you up to date on the latest country. news from around the

164 230

News on the spread of the virus, what you can and cannot do, and plenty of ideas on how to get by at home.

Remember with the Olive Press online you are not alone. It is not for nothing we are now in the world’s top 10,000 most visited websites (see above) and in the top 250 in the UK and Spain. Our team of over a dozen writers are out and about making sure you are abreast of everything you need to know... visit:

www.theolivepress.es

Gibraltar Issue 118

show by legendONE cheeky fan of a yet-to-be cancelled the star: ‘Please don’t ary comic John Cleese, pleaded with die, I've got tickets!’ star confirmed he is It comes as the iconic Monty Python ahead of his landmark ‘self-isolating’ from coronavirus first gig in Mallorca. who is in the ‘at-risk’ The 80-year-old British funnyman, play Palma Auditorium category for Covid-19, is still set to on April 16.

Chance To See Me BeThe show is part of Cleese’s Last ahead, according to the fore I Die tour, which is still going for the star, includvenue’s website. But fans are worried posted online: “Stay ing Dutchman, Sidney Brandeis, who tickets for your show.” safe and please don't die. I bought but little has Cleese said: “Thank you. I am self-isolating friends.” few very have I as changed

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A STITCH IN TIME

STOPPING the virus before it spreads is “The GHA has 87 beds available better than waiting until it is too and we cording to the Minister for Public late, ac- are taking more measures to increase John Cortes said it was a case ofHealth. that number,” he revealed. early to nip the problem in the bud.acting “In terms of personnel we have called for retired doctors and nurses to come “This is the time to take measures forthe virus,” Cortes told the Oliveagainst ward and make themselves available.

Press, “We have also increased this week. the Intensive Care Unit capacity by 500%.”

“If we wait until we have many cases fore we take measures then we wouldbe- Last week’s visit to London has led to the be promise of UK help if needed. wasting our time.

“The Chief Minister asked the “If we are successful and we delay Prime are going to be criticised and askedit, we Minister if it was a possibility to bring we took this action in the first place.”why more personnel from the UK,” he said.

“Boris has confirmed the The minister praised the Gibraltar Health erything it can to send UK will do evAuthority (GHA) for diverting resources support if we request it in detail.” to handle the number of victims.

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YOUR ONLINE PORTAL TO TRUST It has been the fastest moving story in our 14 years of publishing... and we have hardly stopped to draw breath.

Solid as a Rock

SPAIN has closed its land borders with Gibraltar, France and Portugal.

From midnight on Monday, the only people allowed into Spain from Gibraltar are cross-frontier workers, returning Spanish residents and those who have a justifiable reason to enter the country.

Despite the blockade being one the objectives of the Vox party in of the last elections Chief Minister Fabian Picardo stated it was not a ‘politically motivated’ move.

“I am satisfied that the measures being adopted are not politically motivated against us," he said.

"We have had it confirmed that workers needing to come across the frontier will be able to do so."

Despite initial fears about long queues on Monday, there were problems with frontier flow and no everyone was able to get to and from EXCLUSIVE work without any problems.

By John Culatto "We advise people to have copies of their employment contracts with NEARLY half of all Gibraltar residents them if possible," continued tested for coronavirus have been given the the Chief Minister.

And two out of three confirmed all clear. victims have so "Additionally, we are also satisfied far recovered. that there will be no effect on The remaining case, an elderly the supply of goods across the fronhospital but is only mildly unwell’,person, is ‘in according to tier for our supermarkets and groChief Minister Fabian Picardo. cers and, most importantly, for It comes as the government confirmed our Health Authority.” that of 100 people tested, some 49 have been given the

Over a MILLION people have visited our site over the last few days - tens of thousands of Gibraltarians thanks to our coverage of the coronavirus online with hourly updates globally throughout the weekend.

7,960

Majority of coronavirus victims in Gibraltar have recovered as half of tests come back negative all clear, while 48 results are still pending. Of those who have so far caught virus, none of them had been abroad the recently so they have been listed as ‘community transmissions’.

Acting Medical Director Krish Rawal confirmed the GHA would soon be able to test patients on the Rock rather than send them to the UK. “We are in the process of obtaining all the equipment,” said Rawal. “The analysers and chemicals arrived yesterday.

“Now we need to calibrate those machines and train our staff.

“Within the next week or ten days we should have our own in-house testing.

“We’ll then be able to test and deliver the results on the same day.”

He said this could mean that the drivethrough testing area at the old Rooke site could be ready by the end of the week.

“There is a certain level of uncertainty with this because we do not have a history with this virus,” revealed Rawal.

“The statistics are showing it’s very clear that for those under 70 it turns into just a normal cold with flu-like symptoms that will incapacitate you maybe for a couple of days.

“However, for those over 70, Covid-19 can be a high consequence disease with a severe impact.”

There are currently 24 beds with ventilators available for Covid-19 victims, with more on the way.

The GHA has also trained up medical staff from every department to be able to deal with a greater quantity of cases.

# 177 It is, of course, a horrorshow for # 245 all of us with businesses in tourism, retail or catering. But we are all in the same boat and now you are all stuck at home, trying to stay healthy, we are working even harder to ensure we keep you up to date on the latest news from around the country.

News on the spread of the virus, what you can and cannot do, and plenty of ideas on how to get by at home.

Remember with the Olive Press online you are not alone. It is not for nothing we are now in the world’s top 10,000 most visited websites (see above) and in the 250 in the UK and 50 in Gib. Ourtop team of over a dozen writers are out and about making sure you are abreast of everything you need to know...visit:

www.theolivepress.es ...OH, AND 24 hours a day, 365 days a year!

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Crisis special, p2-7

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21/6/19 13:30

WE’VE GOT YOU COVERED! The

OLIVE PRESS

FREE

COSTA BLANCA

Vol. 1 Issue 26 www.theolivepress.es

Your expat

voice in Spain

March 19th - April 1, 2020

Olive Press online YOUR ONLINE PORTAL TO TRUST

It has been the fastest moving story in our 14 years of publishing... and we have hardly stopped to draw breath.

Over a MILLION people have visited our site over the last few days thanks to our coverage of the coronavirus online with hourly updates throughout globally the weekend.

7,726

SIMPLE MESSAGE: Sunbed (right) British expats takingorders to tourists in Benidorm to stay indoors for two weeks precautions with rubber gloves and

EMPTY streets, trucks of soldiers and border closures.

CIVIL WAR

This past week has left Spain looking like the set of a post-apocalyptic thriller.

With the country’s coronavirus cases 15,000, it is at least comforting to know nearing action is being taken by the government.decisive Amid the lockdown, acts of heart-warming humanity have also shone through, with coming out on their balconies and residents erupting in applause to show appreciation for doctors ing around the clock to battle the virus. workOthers meanwhile prepared food vulnerable, while Chinese residentsfor the most in Cordoba donated thousands of masks and medicines.

Elsewhere, people walked fake dogs others out, while one man risked and rented the police taking out the rubbish inthe wrath of a T-rex costume.

Meanwhile, a raft of famous faces, including Antonio Banderas, Messi and Ricky Martin, joined an urgent nationwide appeal for residents to Expats join locals in huge (and stay at home. good And it seems to have worked as streets humoured) battle to beat covid-19 wide have stayed empty with around nationpandemic 99% of non-urgent journeys and outings curtailed. other businesses shut, there is - to Incredibly, between Tuesday and yesterday be fair - The British owner of eve- almost nowhere to go. the Costa Blanca’s ning, Alicante province registered largest transport firm, Alicante Transfers, no new cases Unless of course of Coronavirus. you’re on holiday in told the Olive Press the industry is in ‘meltBenidorm, where police arrested The total cases in the Valencian Community tourists down’. re- drinking on terraces outside main 541, with 13 deaths so far, with closed bars “We’ve lost tens of the lock- with drinks bought thousands in cancelladown seemingly having an effect. from supermarkets. tions, while trying to keep everyone This message of civil responsibility The massive clampdown on free calm was and not seen since the Spanish Civil War,movement, driven home by Benidorm’s local police, stuckgiving the right information to those is already who spelt out here – it’s a nightmare,” Dave Mcthought to be helping in the vital effort to stop Playa Levante the words ‘stay at home’ on Queen added. the rapid infection rate of the COVID-19 using sunbeds.

The virus will be contained. But how far The calm however With all restaurants, cinemas, shops virus. and most damage that could is concealing economic infection spreads into society awaits tothe be last for a long time still. seen.

Crisis special, p2-7 Tel. (+34) 96 649 18 29 info@hispaniahomes.es www.hispaniahomes.co.uk

It is, of # 171 course, a horrorshow for all of # 239 us with businesses in tourism, retail or catering. But we are all in the same boat and now you are all stuck at home, trying to stay healthy, we are working even harder to ensure we keep you up to date on the latest news from around the country.

News on the spread of the virus, what you can and cannot do, and plenty of ideas on how to get by at home.

Remember with the Olive Press online you are not alone. It is not for nothing we are now in the world’s top 10,000 most visited websites (see above) and in the top 250 in the UK and Spain. Our team of over a dozen writers are out and about making sure you are abreast of everything you need to know... visit:

www.theolivepress.es

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Stuck in Africa Dear Olive Press, Please be aware there are 90-plus Spanish nationals and Spanish residents stranded in the Gambia.

I had booked flights with Vueling Airlines which just told us our flight from Banjul to Barcelona together with our ongoing flight to is cancelled LEAVERS: Trio .

Alicante of Brits in Spain I have been in touch with the Spanish Embassy and to date they have been truly fantastic, contacting me and my husband on a daily basis.

We are British, but now have Spanish Residency.

I contacted the British Embassy and was asked a political lly, as to essentiathem sees the the British Moore Rose forward andEU, out forms to fill and proud, Issue 325, pg 7). The hipy(Leave dictators in Banjul.

Embass states,d our 28 sovereign are they is the dopposite had receive reality stating a reply. There I receive become to chose ly voluntari which communiUK, the no d including receive have forms. To date we would the UKce believes in serSteve Dunne differen associate hat athat ever...w cation d.whatso Not so. terms.

WTOtwo on the better ies!I’m not going to fairvice embass from and quoting I am 77. down your and chapter weigh yearsbyold is 80 page d letters My husban theas diinto looks Steve that nd recomme such I ns but verse, conditio ing We both have underly industry that he knows. That Trump any COPD. specifics abetesofand should per, an EU-free a trade tiveUKnewspa trying to getas is PLEASE informa anwith suchdeal deals ent trade know: Trump’s want tosomeon youinform Governm you allyou e in the tellcould fortheir speaks Mahler Brent Finally, use labels. could US-first and have here of Spain that we are force a number help. of UK citizens wary of an EU armed ideas are and do these However,es union. ever closer urgently and nt medicin importa Weanneed I am policy.

EU not and people specific by floated do. to what not know proof years 40-plus insidious you to the at thank worried special more very a I would like to say h, y for Mail, Telegrap by the the EEC/EU Embass against Spanish paganda r at the Salvado Jesus and didmost The Sun. course, and, of at this Times nce What Express, assista s and kindnes all their he was asked why he was so ansay Murdoch of times. ingwhen frighten “When I go into the lines along g Somethin ti-EU? STAYof:SAFE. To everyone in Spain...

Get educated

No. 10 they do what I say: when I go to the EU.” The implication is that he had to ask for an appointment!

Maureen Cowley, Gambia

Readers react to the Spanish Government extending the country’s lockdown for a further 15 days

Don’t hold your breath

Inevitable. However, it will be a lot longer than that in the long-run. I can see this going on for three to five months.

Stephen Proctor, Loja

Great escape

Fortunately we cut our holiday in Estepona short, managing to get a return flight home on March 18. I say fortunately because the apartment we were renting in Estepona was not very comfortable at all, with various items broken, and was not very well equipped. It hadn’t been cleaned properly and would have been terrible in a long term lockdown situation. I do not know if your paper would be interested in our experience but we hope other people do not get caught out as we did. If you are interested in doing a feature I have photographs of things I previously mentioned.

Alan and Julie Eastwood, Derbyshire

In the pipeline We expected it would be extended. Two weeks is nothing. It is possible it could be extended for another 12 weeks. It needs to be done. Nobody knows how long this virus is going to be around.

Yes, I agree we must do what’s needed and what is correct.

Gillian Pirolli, Malaga

Has anything piqued your interest in this week’s Olive Press? Have your say on the matter by emailing letters@ theolivepress.es or message us on at www.facebook.com/OlivePressNewspaper or Twitter @olivepress

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Expats and exiles Of the favourites within the English-language media in Spain, the Olive Press (print edition) is the best. It obviously loves this country and its articles reflect this enthusiasm. The other main freebie seems to be more for those who don’t; with endless articles culled from the UK press, together with pages of UK television and commissioned articles about the decline (or otherwise) of the UK. If the Olive Press is for expats, the other one seems to be for exiles.

Roger Jones, Alicante

Keep it up!

I put you above any other local rags in Malaga.

Keep up the good work. Great site, great paper, great team!

Martin Haynes, Malaga

Left out in the cold The La Vinuela post office has had its problems recently, so I expected there would be problems notifying residents when letters and parcels would be available for collection and postage. Mother’s Day parcels and cards were waiting for family collection. I got to the Post Office at 10:05am, with 15-20 people in front of me. At 10:30am the cry came out: “The Post Office won’t be opening today.” Dejected, the people waiting let out a sigh and moved off. There were probably valid reasons why the PO didn’t open, but no valid reasons to let the elderly queue for a long time on a bitterly cold day. The Local Police are usually on top of things like this but didn’t take control of the situation. Parking is a major problem at the PO and most were elderly folk who would have welcomed help from the cops. I have a Blue Card as I suffer from spondylolisthesis, but for some elderly people parking would have been a major problem.

Bob Easton, Alcaucin

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FOOD,DRINK & TRAVEL Special delivery

FREE meals for doctors and nurses, a new delivery app and continued support to the community, this is how one of the leading expat restaurants on the Costa del Sol is surviving the coronavirus lockdown.

In a bid to survive the terrible crisis that is affecting the whole of Spain, the team at Sala Group, in Puerto Banus, launched a new delivery app for their pizza company Villa Toscana.

The app, which was not due to open until the summer, was accelerated into

Sala Group giving free meals to doctors and nurses - and launching new pizza delivery app

being just four days after the famous restaurant shut its doors.

“Thanks to our amazing team we were able to launch it quickly,” explained group CEO Fede González.

“We at Sala Group have always strived to look after our employees and clients and after the government made official the closure of all hospitality businesses in Spain, we focused on home delivery through our

venue Villa Toscana,” he said.

“By doing so we have been able to provide jobs for some of our staff and also to donate meals to medical staff from our community.”

As a token of the company’s appreciation to the doctors and nurses currently working around the clock to keep thousands of virus victims alive, they are preparing and delivering meals, free of charge, to the

homes of members of the medical profession.

This applies to any of them, based between Marbella and Benavista and the service is available Monday to Thursday between 5:30-6:30pm.

In order for them to receive a meal, all that is needed is to send an email to megan@ salagroupholdings.com with a name, address and a copy of their medical work ID. “We wanted to show our appreciation for the medical workers’ commitment during this health crisis.

“Both initiatives have been ex-

Joffrey to the rescue A POPULAR French chef is doing door to door deliveries on the Costa del Sol. Joffrey Charles (left), who ran his own restaurant in La Cala De Mijas, until last year, has launched the free home delivery service due to the current virus lockdown.

His delicious range of starters and main courses includes French soup and chicken liver parfait.

He is also offering a free meal for an elderly couple along the coast each week.

ChefJoffrey@Home service delivers from La Cala to Elviria from 5-10 pm, seven days per week, with 24-hour notice needed for delivery.

There are offers on two and three course meals with one expat customer, Lynn Cronin (right), saying she was delighted to take up the service.

“I was sick and tired of cooking and have always loved Joffrey’s food,” she told the Olive Press.

And don’t worry, all de-

15

April 1st- April 14th 2020

APPRECIATION: The Villa toscana team prepare an order tremely successful so far, for “But we are also confident that which we are very pleased.” this area will come back stronHe added: “Looking ahead, we ger than ever, as it has always are positive that the pandem- done in the past. ic will be soon under control. “By remaining open we are There will obviously be a period proud to support our local comof hardship in which all busi- munity during this time!” nesses will need to heal after The pizza delivery is available the traumatic situation we have via our website www.villatosall suffered. canapizza.com

Not digging it!

liveries are being made keeping a distance and with masks and gloves,” she added.

FARMERS across Andalucia are facing yet another threat to their livelihoods as thousands of ‘illegal’ wells are sealed up due to the tragic Julen case.

The decision is leaving many crops without adequate water, they claim, with already over 100 wells shut since the tragic death of the two-year-old in the Axarquia last year.

The youngster fell into an unmarked well while his family were nearby, prompting a large-scale two week rescue mission that captured the hearts of the world.

Since then, the Spanish government has come down hard on the owners of illegal boreholes and ordered the closure of any that are not legal.

Emilia Gomez, 50, a strawberry farmer in Lucena del Puerto, insisted that since their well was closed, they have struggled to keep their crops alive.

16

April 1st- April 14th 2020

W

ITH two weeks left of self-isolation (fingers crossed), keeping sane is a daily strug-

gle.

But there is one uplifting activity you can add to your new regime of cooking, baking, exercising, reading (and excessive drinking) to keep stir craziness at bay planning your next trip.

If this virus has taught us anything, it’s that life is unpredictable and tragically short, so why not experience as much of the world as you can starting at home in Spain.

There’s enough to see on these shores alone, including places even our most travelled readers have yet to tick off their bucket lists.

So check out our collection of some of Spain’s less-visited areas well worth a trip later this spring.

Osuna, Sevilla The city of Sevilla generally grabs all the glory but the gorgeous ancient town of Osuna, one hour’s drive east from the capital, does not deserve to remain in its shadow.

It was dubbed Urso by the Romans who left behind a quarry, theatre and necropolis, which are all still visible today.

Meanwhile its Archaeological Museum in the Torre del Agua on Plaza Mayor, tells the story of its many years under Islamic rule.

Other artefacts from that era include the still-standing walls from the Alcazaba fortress and the unmissable collegiate church on Plaza Encarnacion.

Dating from 1531, this jewel of a church is a showcase to Baroque architecture and houses a world

As the countdown to the end of the coronavirus lockdown begins, here’s some inspiration of where to visit upon your release

FOOD,DRINK & TRAVEL Osuna

Cuenca

Albarracin

Sierra de Gata

El Coto

Sierra de Gata

Cuenca Catedral

Alcala del Jucar

Plan your escape

class collection of art from the 16th to 18th centuries.

Sierra de Gata, Extremadura If you’re a campo lover you’ll be

in your element in the Sierra de Gata.

Nestled in a corner of the Extremadura region, the rolling hills are dotted with a collection

of picture perfect white towns that will transport you back in time to a much simpler Spain.

Santibanez el Alto, perched on a hill some 650 metres above sea level, has been standing since the 9th century. Rumour has it that this delightful pueblo was established by a French woman who fled to Spain from persecution at home.

These vertiginous villages are populated by just a few hundred people at the most and ooze oodles of charm with their cobbled, narrow streets, stone houses and scattering of ancient ruins.

If driving, steer clear of the tight-fitting streets in town centres and don’t be alarmed to see many of them named after the dictator Franco.

Albarracin, Aragon This ancient village in Aragon was recently named among Spain’s most beautiful and it’s easy to see why.

The town is a masterclass in pretty with its red-washed buildings seamlessly etched into the mountainside since the 12th century.

WIth less than 1,000 inhabitants, Albarracin was declared an official National Monument in 1961 while its surrounding red sandstone cliffs make it a popular rock climbing destination.

The town is a historic site in its own right but while you’re there, don’t skip the outer city defense walls (Murallas de Albarracin), constructed by Muslim rulers in the 900s.

Other must-sees include the stunning 16th century Catedral de Albarracin and the quirky Casa de Julianata, a (tiny) home in the centre of the citadel standing since the 1300s.

Cuenca, Castile- La Mancha Famous for its ‘casas colgadas’ - hanging houses cantilevered over the cliffs as if clinging by a thread - the Romans ignored Cuenca but the Moors saw it as highly strategic.

Following their successful invasion in 714, they quickly built a fortress, named Kunka, straddling two gorges between the Jucar and Huecar rivers.

The location was secured by a surrounding kilometre-long wall,

allowing an agricultural and manufacturing city to grow and thrive.

Today its breathtaking beauty is preserved as a UNESCO World Heritage Site.

Don’t miss the impressive Cuenca Catedral, originally built between 1182 and 1270 and restored in 1902, and the 16th century Bridge of St Paul for panoramic views of the citadel.

Alcala del Jucar, Albacete This unassuming but striking town was only deemed an official site of historical importance in 1982.

Like much of Spain, it has seen invasions by Muslim, Christian and Catholic rulers alike who all left behind valuable mementos of their empires.

The Castillo de Alcala del Jucar is just one of these treasures, built

by Arab settlers in the 12th and 13th centuries on a hilltop, providing a strategic vantage point over the entire town.

Don’t miss the quirky bullring whose irregular shape makes it a global one of a kind.

FOOD,DRINK & TRAVEL

17

April 1st- April 14th 2020

Great eight The EIGHT key ingredients and superfoods to help get you through Spain’s coronavirus quarantine

A

S the nation stays behind closed doors for the foreseeable future it is important to stay healthy and to eat right.

Many key ingredients and so called ‘superfoods’ can help keep your body strong, keep your immune system in check and guide you in the supermarket while stocks are running low.

Kim Gillespie, owner of the Travelling Kitchen and expert in healthy cooking and vegan and vegetarian cuisine, gives you eight key ingredients that will help lift your meals throughout the lockdown.

1. SALMON It is packed with Omega-3 Fatty Acids and a great source of protein. It is high in B vitamins as well as a good source of potassium and contains the antioxidant, astaxanthin.

How to use - grilled, baked, pan fried. Pairs well with basil, sun dried tomatoes, blue cheese, herbs, cheese sauces and tomato-based dishes.

Serve with pasta, salad, vegetables, rice and potatoes.

2. BROCCOLI A great source of vitamins K

How to use - sautéed with garlic, butter and parsley. Pairs well with cream, red wine, herbs (thyme, rosemary, bay, sage) and cheeses.

Goes well with pasta dishes, side dish to meats, in stews and broths and risotto. and C, a good source of folic acid and also provides potassium and fibre. It is also high in Vitamin C, a powerful antioxidant and protects the body from damaging free radicals.

How to use - steamed, sautéed. Pairs well with all meat and fish, in soup, pasta, curries, broths, cheese sauces and blue cheese.

3. BLUEBERRIES A great source for fiber, potassium, folate, vitamin C, vitamin B6, and the phytonutrient content in blueberries supports heart health. Blueberries are the king of antioxidant foods, having one of the highest antioxidant levels of all common fruits and vegetables (4 , 5 , 6). The main antioxidant compounds in blueberries belong to a family of polyphenols antioxidants called flavonoids.

How to use - when in porridge, muffins, pancakes, dried, salads, mixed fruit, smoothies.

Pairs well with cheese, oats, yoghurt and turkey.

4. GARLIC It has so many health benefits, including lowering blood pressure and cholesterol, purifying the blood, a natural anti-inflammatory effect, a reduced risk of cancer, and plays a huge part in maintaining a stronger immune system.

5. MUSHROOMS They contain B vitamins as well as a powerful antioxidant called selenium, which helps to support the immune system and prevent damage to cells and tissues.

6. WATER Good old simple water ensures we stay alive...But staying hydrated also helps balance your blood sugar, helps relieve headaches, and

How to use - steamed, sautéed, roasted, served in with pasta, stews, soups, salads and as an accompaniment to any dishes. They can be the hero of the dish with their own flavour and can paired with almost anything.

8. GINGER It is loaded with nutrients and bioactive compounds that have powerful benefits for your body and brain. It helps with digestion, reduces nausea and helps fight the flu and common cold, to name a few. Gingerol is the main bioactive compound in ginger, responsible for much of its medicinal properties. It has powerful anti-inflammatory and antioxidant effects.

How to use - in smoothies, soups, stir frys, curries and Asian cuisine.

As supermarket shoppers fill their trolleys with toilet roll and

promotes healthy skin. If you don’t drink water every day, your body could experience dehydration which could cause tiredness, slow brain function, irritability, dryness, and high temperature and lead to your immune system being compromised 7. LEAFY GREENS These are packed with vitamin A, B9, D and K they also play a huge part in immune boosting properties.

pasta throughout the crisis, if you shop smart and try to add at least a handful of these ingredients into your meals over

the coming weeks it will go a long way to improving your chances of staying away from the COVID-19 virus.

18

April 1st- April 14th 2020

BY Tim Govaerts AS I am writing from behind my home desk, it strikes me how fast we get used to this new reality.

Since my last article we have further witnessed some of the largest daily fluctuations in stock markets since the financial crisis with the last one being a jump of most indices of well over 10% following the $2Tn stimulus package agreed by the US congress.

If one could only time this! This volatility of the last weeks comes on the back of continued concerns with the virus, how long it will last and the impact on the global economy.

When discussing this with colleagues and clients, and when reading reports from fund managers and the financial press, the human dimension and our loved ones’ health is everyone’s primary concern, and then of course, this contraction and our clients’ interests are paramount.

For new investors this can be an extremely worrying time as they will not have been used

BUSINESS

Investing wisely

As coronavirus sweeps Spain, keep your money safe by sticking to a few core principles to such short-term volatility.

For seasoned investors who went through the financial crisis of 2008, the technology bubble of 2000 and even black Monday in 1987, the short term pain being witnessed is often seen as a confirmation that although stock markets can’t always go up, over the long term they have done so.

How long will we continue seeing these jumps?

It is generally assumed now that with this contraction a recession seems inevitable.

Whether this will be a V-shaped one, i.e. suggesting soon a strong recovery, or a U-shaped one where the bounce back can take much longer, is a popular topic of discussion.

Some analysts say this contraction should prove the shortest ever, suggesting it could last two quarters, compared to the average of four quarters.

As the cause of market stress is a public health crisis rather than a leverage or profitability crisis, fundamentals would improve when we have a peak and then slowdown in Covid-19 daily infection rates in the US and Europe.

bottom yet?

At the moment we are still very much in this overreaction phase.

The next two weeks will be critical to see the effects of the containment measures and to estimate the potential length of the economic contraction.

Until then we can expect the high volatility to continue.

For long-term investors and fund managers alike, this offers new buying opportunities.

However, markets are unpredictable, so it would be wise to spread your risk through diversification in a longer term investment strategy, keeping a few core principles in mind:

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Urgent action plan needed as Spain and rest of the world head into recession

SPAIN and Italy’s economies will be affected more than countries in northern Europe from the Coronavirus crisis.

Analysts predict a drop of around 10% this year for Spain, due to the collapse in tourism and various other key sectors of the economy.

Italy meanwhile, will see a drop of up to

S

PAIN has tightened the screws on its coronavirus lockdown, risking a further crippling of an economy already on its knees.

The construction sector has been hit hardest by an updated ‘essential workers list’, which in one draconian swoop was reduced from 40 key services to 25.

Effective since Monday, the new list requires that aerospace workers stay home, as well as cleaners and domestic workers, not caring for children or the vulnerable.

Essential workers are now also required to carry certificates to prove they are legitimate.

However this raft of updated measures, published in the Government’s official BOE buletin (journal), still leaves many questions unanswered regarding benefits and pay.

Here, we take a look at a few of them:

What is an ERTE?

BUSINESS

An expediente de regulacion temporal de empleo (ERTE) is a special file allowing companies to temporarily lay off staff or cut hours, while allowing them to claim unemployment benefits.

It is a positive step for both the economy and workers as their contracts are not terminated but merely ‘suspended’.

For the first six months workers are entitled to 70% of their base salary and 50% from the seventh month.

This is calculated from an average of the previous 180 days’ employment and does not cover food and transportation costs.

Companies can add to the 70% when and if they are able to, and if hours are cut normal wages will be paid for the percentage of the day they work.

To qualify for unemployment benefits a worker must have: * Done 360 days work in the past six years * Have had their hours reduced by between 10% and 60% This means that a salary of reduced hours added to any benefits can only total a maximum of 85% of the previ-

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April 1st- April 14th 2020

HOLD TIGHT!

12%, according to various financial pre- ing above 9% and France at around 7.5%. while Fitch Ratings predicts only 4% dictions. In contrast, Germany’s indus- Incredibly, the GDP of China may only for the Asian giant. trial output should prevent the drop go- fall by 3% according to Goldman Sachs, Forecasts range from a contraction of around 7% in Spain by France’s Societe Generale to 9.7% from Goldman Sachs.

The Goldman Sachs team of analysts believes Italy will contract by 11.6%, Germany by 8.9% and France 7.4%.

As the economy crumbles, the Olive Spain is particularly affected What if I am quarantined or get due to its huge reliance on Press business survival guide will coronavirus? tourism which is around 12% Once you have informed work and taken the necof its GDP, with over 80m help you navigate the rubble essary precautions, you should be entitled to 75% tourists normally arriving of your base salary during the time you are off. ous salary with a minimum of €501.98 and maximum of per year.

This will be paid through Social Security and can €1,411 depending on dependents, etc.

According to the World Travbe topped up by the employer to the full amount.

An ERTE application can be made for a company’s entire el and Tourism Council, the workforce or only part of it. tourism sector needs on avThe number of those expected to go under an ERTE is at Self-employed (autonomos) erage about 19.4 months to least 760,000, but could rise to two million by 2021, ac- Since 2019 all self-employed workers – or autonorecover from epidemics. mos – have been able to apply for the paro de los cording to right wing economist Daniel Lacalle. autonomos.

Contraction To claim this unemployment benefit you must How does ERTE work?

Once the lockdown is over ERTE will be handled by the employer and SEPE, the Span- have worked as an autonomo for 12 months, be registered and be up to date with Social Security and normality begins to reish body that deals with benefits. sume, tourist numbers will The company is obliged to inform workers of its ERTE re- payments.

But in the wake of the current crisis the central still be far lower due to the quest and must then submit an application. fear of travelling on planes Supporting evidence must be provided to explain why coro- Government has unveiled an unprecedented and leaving the country. navirus has damaged business activity and SEPE will con- package of measures for the self-employed.

IVA (VAT), corporation tax and personal income Experts say Britain is also firm the claim within five days. ‘heading for a recession of Companies do not have to pay Social Security for ERTE tax can now be deferred for the first time for busithe scale we have not seen workers laid off and only have to pay a proportional amount ness-owners whose turnover did not exceed €6 million in 2019. in modern history’ with JP to staff who have had their hours cut.

It has also approved a benefit for those whose Morgan predicting an 8% business ceased trading or where turnover has contraction in the second Which workers are essential? fallen by 75%. quarter of 2020 alone and Commerce – Includes banks, vets, Regional governments are thought to have earsome analysts predicting a tobacconists, chemists, opticians, food shops, marked billions for autonomo workers and small drop of almost 15% this year. press, petrol stations, laundrettes and medium enterprises (SMEs), including the The G20 group is due to conJunta de Andalucia, which set aside €600 million. vene to discuss an ‘action Essential service providers – Includes A six-month suspension of Social Security payplan’ in order to respond to farmers, fishermen, clothing manufacturers, ments for the self-employed was set to be apthe outbreak and the foreutilities workers and telecommunications proved this week. seen global market downturn.

HOW TO STAY afloat

BUSINESS For he’s a jolly good fella

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April 1st- April 14th 2020

HE is already one of Spain’s biggest employers… Now Amancio Ortega is certainly one of the most popular.

The Zara boss, 84, was delighted when thousands of Galician residents came out on their balconies to sing

Labour concerns for supply chain

FARMERS in Andalucia urgently need an influx of temporary labourers to save their harvests.

There is a shortage of up to 50% of the workforce needed to pick various summer fruits and vegetables due to the current Covid-19 lockdown.

There is also a shortage of la-

bour to sow, weed and treat the crops.

It comes as the demand for produce has grown as domestic consumption has increased.

Although all food-related activities are permitted to maintain supply, a fear of contagion and restrictions on transport

happy birthday to him.

They were joined by hundreds of police and health workers sounding their sirens to say thanks for his company Inditex’s generous donation of 300,000 face masks and sanitary gowns from China. is preventing thousands of seasonal workers coming in from abroad and moving around the country.

The lack of labourers is not a problem exclusive to Spain.

France and the United Kingdom have appealed to unemployed citizens to cover the rural jobs currently in demand.

Galician President Alberto Nunez Feijoo also joined the ovation for his ‘selfless acts’ which even included flying in the materials via his own planes.

“I cannot imagine the distribution of these materials without the Inditex company,” said Feijoo.

“Without the planes, most of the materials would still be in China,” he insisted.

He gained more plaudits by insisting that no workers would be sacked in the crisis and merely made them temporarily redundant through the ERTE scheme.

DON’T PANIC!

Big business benevolence A GROUP of Spain’s largest companies have together donated €150 million to the health authorities to help in the fight against Covid-19.

The Ibex 35 firms, including BBVA, Iberdrola, Inditex, Santander and Telefonica, are coordinating with the health authorities to help out.

The initial donation handed out was €25 million from BBVA and Santander.

BBVA has also acquired €3 million worth of medical supplies from China, such as masks and respirators.

The key to investing is not to worry about where the markets are going in the short term. Here Jonathan Holdaway gives his five top tips for a better return to health SO if you’ve kept your nerve and resisted the urge to pull your money from the markets and retreat to the relative safety of cash, you could now be looking at a reduction in the value of your portfolio of around 25% depending on where you were invested.

Hope

The recent brief recovery at the start of last week may have raised your hopes a little, only for mar-

kets to slip back again a few days later, after worse than expected US unemployment figures were released.

In the words of Private Jones from Dad’s Army ‘Don’t panic!’

The last major downturn in stock markets was in the ‘credit crunch’ or financial crisis which started to have an impact at the end of 2007 - following another ‘black swan’ event created by the investment banks.

In that crisis it took the FTSE 100 some six years to return

to it’s ‘pre-crash’ level – however had you invested wisely near the bottom of the market only 18 months after it started to drop, you would have been looking at a very good return on your investment when others merely returned to par.

My first experience of a stock market crash was ‘Black Monday’ back in 1987, when I was working for an asset management company, promoting our products to IFA’s to recommend to their clients.

WATER DAMAGE PROTECT YOUR HOME

Finding an emergency plumber to fix a burst pipe in the early hours of the morning can be a stressful experience. Damage can run into the thousands. Most home insurance covers water damage from leaking pipes. But what is covered and what is not, can be confusing.

GUARANTEED PROTECTION

Home insurance from Línea Directa covers your property 100% against any water damage, which means we will guarantee the insured contents for their full base value.

Our policy also covers accidents, unforeseen spillage and leaks from neighbouring properties. Our policies also cover flooding, mudslides or an accidental diversion on the ordinary course of water flow in channels, ditches or sewage flows.

DISCOVER A LEAK

If you discover a leak, turn off the stop valve to stop the flow of water. Then turn off the mains electricity supply. Place a bucket under the leak to catch as much water as possible, while turning on all the taps to reduce the system pressure. Take photographs of any damage and retain any possessions that have been damaged.

These may be needed in the event of a claim. If you would like some further advice on this matter, please call our English speaking customer service on 902 325 325.

Guarantee

kets are volatile:-

the longer term.

1. Tune out the noise – nowadays news and information is so readily available any time on our mobiles. Never check the value of your portfolio when markets are tanking - hasty decisions lead to costly mistakes.

4. Set realistic expectations – again you are investing for the long term.

I don’t apologise for continually repeating this, as there will sometimes be bad years but in the long run your equity returns will average out to be better than cash and many other asset classes.

Sure, there have been a few other somewhat bi- 2. Control what you can – a gger ‘blips’ between then good example of this is costs. and now, but I am doing a lot again these of work with are put very new clients who much in pershave expensive pective when and poorly perwe look at the forming funds in longer term existing portfotrend. lios. By replacing No one really some or all of knows how these with ultra long the culow cost ETF’s – rrent situation often index tracwill last, or its kers which work lasting effects better in ‘develoon the global ped’ economies, economy.

I am able to put CHILL: Private Jones Early signs them in a better from China seem to sug- position for when the margest that they have the vi- kets do bounce back. rus under control, and have started to return tentatively 3. Revisit your asset alloto a normal existence. cation – if market volatility However long it takes, I is causing you to lose sleep can virtually guarantee that then it may be time to re-evastock markets will recover luate your risk tolerance. If and people will make mo- you are feeling particularly ney again. ‘bullish’, in the near future the To help you through, here perfect opportunity to invest are a few habits you should some spare cash back into try to develop when mar- equities could pay off big in

5. Stay diversified – a great way to insulate your portfolio is to have exposure to other asset classes such as fixed interest, property, precious metals and for equities, global stock markets rather than just solely the domestic market.

There are no cast iron guarantees to investing, but by developing these habits, you can make volatile stock markets work better for you in the long run.

In the near future we will be running some financial workshops along the Costa del Sol, along with other professionals – accountants, lawyers and estate agents to help you achieve the maximum potential with your money. Keep an eye out for confirmed dates and speakers in the near future.

Jonathan now has an office Malaga, which can be found here: Alameda Colón, 9, 1, 7. 29001 Málaga, Spain. Phone: +34 951 579226

TM

902 123 282

We hope the information provided in this article is of interest. If you would like to contact Linea Directa please call 952 147 834. More information about Linea Directa online at www.lineadirecta.com

ivePress-256x170-CAR-4.indd 1

At that time we all thought it was the end of the world, but now looking back at a graph of the FTSE 100 it’s just a small blip on an otherwise relentless upwards march.

*Fully comprehensive offer valid for new customers only. Guarantee subjec t to cover, repair at approved garage, and cour tesy vehicle availabilit y. Subjec t to conditions. O ffer ends 30/11/18.

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Contact me for a no obligation investment product and/or portfolio review and at my expense on +34 654 898 303 /+44 77230 27864 or email me at jonathan.holdaway@ chasebuchanan.com I’ll even buy the coffee.

PROPERTY Rent strikes 21

April 1st- April 14th 2020

A PAIR of housing bodies are set to call strikes over tenants struggling to pay rent during the Covid-19 crisis.

The tenants associations in Catalunya and Madrid insist that rents for families, small business owners and self-employed workers should be suspended during the crisis.

“The economic costs should not fall on the State or small landlords but on companies and financial entities,” insisted a spokesman.

In the case of small land-

VALENCIA had the highest number of property sales in Spain in 2019.

The eastern region registered a total of 15.2 sales per thousand inhabitants, while Andalucia came second with 11.9, alongside La Rioja and the Balearic Islands.

The country saw a decrease of

The Property Insider

e

by Adam Neal

Housing bodies threaten strikes if tenants are forced to pay rents lords, who depend on the income to pay their bills, the State should be forced to step in to help them.

The news comes as Barcelona mayor, Ada Colau also

Hard sell

its house sales to 10.8 per one thousand inhabitants, in comparison to 2018 when it was 11.06.

Across Spain, 503,875 sales were recorded last year, a number that represents a 2.5%

asks for a suspension of rent payments for flats and commercial properties in the city during the pandemic.

Colau has sent a letter to the presidents of the College of drop compared to 2018, the first drop in five years.

When it came to foreign buyers, the country saw a drop in sales, from 65,400 in 2018 to 63,000 last year. The Balearics had the most, with 42.28% of houses purchased being from foreigners. Valencia came in second with 27.08%.

Real Estate Agents, the College of Property Administrators and the Chamber of Urban Property asking for this.

In it she insists that action must be taken to ‘protect the most vulnerable and to prevent the spread of Covid-19.’

“The council has approved the suspension of rent of more than 8,000 subsidised council houses and almost 400 commercial properties,” said the 46-year-old.

This comes after the Minister of Equality, Irene Montero, called for the Government to suspend the payment of rent for flats and commercial properties during the coronavirus crisis, with the State compensating landlords.

Get your house in order

Whether a resident or second home owner, here are some things you may wish to consider during the COVID-19 crisis, writes Adam Neale WHAT a difference a week makes. Less than ten days ago, life was carrying on as normal, it was business as usual and the coronavirus still seemed to be a remote threat, even in the worst case scenario.

As I write however, Spain and many other countries are now in what looks like it will be a long period of lockdown, with national borders closed, internal movement limited and everyday life totally altered.

In the meantime, what I can do is offer some helpful advice for foreign homeowners, whether you live here permanently, as my family does, or reside overseas and have a second home.

The property market has almost immediately stagnated and is likely to experience significant upheaval the longer the coronavirus pandemic lasts. So, if you have a home for sale, expect it won’t sell for a good while because buyers are, by law, staying at home.

And if you were in the market to buy, unless you like a gamble, the likelihood is that you’ll be waiting to see what happens next before making any kind of move.

Owners should therefore be prepared for an extended period of paying overheads and no longer receiving revenue from short-term rentals, as well as like-

ly losing personal income at the same time as work dries up.

As the owners of a small real-estate agency, this is our case and we have already begun to budget carefully to keep our business afloat and our family protected.

Although the government has announced mortgage-relief measures for people in real need, this only applies to those paying for a primary residence and who are classed as ‘economically vulnerable’.

If you are resident and work in Spain, and you lose your job, or more than 70% of earnings if self-employed or a business owner, or your total family income is less than 1,613€ a month, you may be eligible to benefit.

However, many foreigners who live here full-time will not fall into any of these cases and so, as regards mortgage and other payments, you may well be on your own.

After surviving bankruptcy in the wake of the 2008 global economic crisis by the skin of our teeth, we learned the hard way...and I strongly recommend you prepare now to avoid problems later.

For owners who live abroad, it may be a while before you’re able to come back to your place in the sun, so the same

advice applies and more so.

Aside from covering the cost of any outstanding financing, you should also consider the need to set aside funds for maintenance.

In our experience, when a property is not used, that’s when things break, so think about asking a neighbour or friend to look in from time to time.

And the growing risk of squatters is something you may wish to take steps against.

While our offices are closed for the time being, we, like many agents, are offering remote and virtual support for our clients and can provide property management services, if desired.

How long the COVID-19 pandemia will last and what consequences it will have, for our societies, economies and property markets, is anybody’s guess at this point.

For the Costa del Sol property market we believe there is some short term pain ahead followed by a return to normality but that is the subject of my next article. I certainly don’t claim to know what will happen next, but can only hope, as we all do, that as many of us as possible come out of this in good health and in a fit state to face whatever the future may bring. For now, stay home and stay safe.

Terra Meridiana, 77 Calle Caridad, Estepona • 29680 • Tel: +34 951 318480. Office Mob: +34 678 452109 Email: info@terrameridiana.com. Website: www.terrameridiana.com

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22

April 1st- April 14th 2020

T

HIS morning I woke to the sun streaming through the window and for a while all was well... until that jittery, anxious feeling welled up - the one that has been bubbling under ever since the word coronavirus entered our vocabulary - and that little demon voice inside your head is telling you, ‘what if…?’

With the virus’ rapid spread, grounded flights, economic fallout, and most importantly for those of us with family overseas - are they OK, when will I see them again and of course the big one, when will normality return - the helplessness that many of us feel is understandable.

So how can we keep ourselves on an even emotional keel in these unpredictable times?

Jill Hannam (top right) has

HEALTH

PEP up your PMA Keep calm and carry on with Life Coach Jill Hannam’s five top tips for cultivating Positive Mental Attitude (PMA)

been a Life Coach for many years, originally working with Blue Chip companies in the UK, before moving into private practice. Now based near Marbella, she offers

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one to one consultations and a Skype service to clients around Spain and in the UK. “All our feelings come from thoughts, if we can identify the thought we can change it, rebrand it, crush it with facts and ultimately feel better,” she says.

“It’s natural to worry, feel anxious and panicky. But worrying pushes you into the future and that is beyond our control. It’s important to be in the here and now.

Control “During these uncertain times it’s important to look after yourself both physically and mentally, to put yourself first so you are in the best possible state to help others.”

Jill’s five-point plan to stay calm: Don’t worry - be happy All of us like a degree of control and in troubled times it’s what we crave and need. Understanding what’s in your control and focusing on that is empowering, comforting and essential.

If you find yourself worrying about something, the first question you should ask is ‘Is this within my control?’

COACH: Jill Hannam

HOPE: Deepak and Oprah team up for mediatation course

BRAVE: Anne Frank

If it isn’t, then worrying is like putting yourself through it twice, like hitting yourself with a big stick. Worrying will not stop you from getting sick. If anything it will weaken your immune system.

Follow the advice from the experts in terms of protecting yourself, cleanliness and isolation. Do what is within your control. If someone gets sick, trust your instinct

And breathe….

When all is chaos, connect to calm with Headspace - This app is brimming with relaxation and meditation programmes with courses for beginners to more advanced. Download is free and there are plenty of free sessions or you can upgrade to Headspace Plus to unlock more content, priced £4.99 a month with the first 14 days free. Try the Basic course, ten sessions of between 3-10 minutes which are a great introduction to meditation, mindfulness and ‘being in the moment’.

There are also programmes for better sleep and stress release workouts.

Finding Hope in Uncertain Times - Deepak Chopra and Oprah Winfrey

A free 21-day meditation course by one of the world’s most respected mind body advocates in collaboration with American media star Oprah. It promises to help you feel less overwhelmed with the world at the moment. Oprah has a velvety voice that’s easy to listen to, while Deepak is calm and reassuring. There’s an app to download or access through your browser.

in terms of the severity, seek and follow professional advice like you normally would.

Again, look at the facts. The likelihood of getting the disease is still low and the chances of survival are high.

Whilst I appreciate the threat of this particular disease is unprecedented, worrying won’t protect you.

Fill the void Focusing your mind on something that brings you joy leaves less room for overthinking and unhelpful thoughts.

Work it out It’s the perfect time to take on a personal keep fit challenge.. Exercise makes us feel good, and you’ll never regret a workout (once it’s done!), it makes us healthy and strong! All good things and all within our control!

Interact socially How on earth did people like Anne Frank (above left) survive a ‘lockdown’ without technology? Most of us are so lucky to have access to amazing tools to help us communicate with people all over the world! We’ve signed up for an app called ‘Houseparty’ and last night my husband did a ‘pub quiz’ with his mates whilst I caught up with some of my

pals in the UK. FaceTime, Whatsapp, Skype… a good old fashioned phone call!

Reach out to people who are vulnerable and alone.

Practice gratitude Sit quietly and list the things you are grateful for... the things that make you happy, the people you love. What is it about them that makes you happy? Spend five minutes a day on this. I promise you that when you are doing this, it is impossible to feel anything other than happiness, joy, optimism and thankfulness. What’s not to love about all those feelings! Sit and do this every time any unhelpful feelings come knocking at your door! For more advice on this, read Jill’s blogs www. jillhannamlifecoach.com At this current moment, most of us are healthy; our loved ones are well, and life is fine. So, be grateful for the things that are going well in your life right now and focus on the present – it is a powerful antidote to worrying about the future.

And let’s remember we are not alone in this. We are dealing with this as a community, as a country and as one world. Draw strength from your loved ones, and in turn, try to be strong and stay positive for them.

COLUMNISTS YOU may have seen #QuedateEnCasa trending on social media over the past few weeks.

Hopefully you have done, as this now-viral hashtag (and song) means ‘stay at home’.

It is not the most common Spanish phrase, but its use has exploded since the coronavirus pandemic gripped Spain.

It is one of a number of words and sayings that you had probably never dreamed of using before the worst public health crisis since the Spanish flu in 1918.

Unless you are Jose Ameal Peña (Spain’s only living Spanish flu survivor), you won’t have experienced a pandemic.

You may not know how to linguistically navigate one either, and could find yourself tongue-tied in front of a Spanish copper – ‘yes this is my dog’ and ‘yes I am on my way to Mercadona officer.’

First of all there are lots of easy coronavirus-relat-

Viral linguistics Charlie Smith’s survival guide to getting yourself a paper and talking your way out of trouble during the pandemic

ed words that you can add to your vocab list straight away.

Start with cuarentena (quarantine), super portador (super spreader), tos seca (dry cough), fiebre (fever), estornudar (sneeze), gel desinfectante (hand sanitiser), mascarilla (mask), guantes (gloves) and jabón (soap).

During these unprecedented times, you will also need to verbally equip yourself for when you do have to venture outside.

“Venimos al parque porque aquí hay wifi,” was one of the ridiculous excuses recently offered by a group of mates to police in Gijon, Asturias – “We came to the park because there is wifi here.”

If you are actually leaving the house for an essential reason, like buying food or medicine, then there are a couple of basic phrases and structures worth knowing.

Voy al supermercado means ‘I am going to the supermarket. Notice how ‘al’ changes

to ‘a la’ when you say voy a la farmacia or voy a la oficina.

This is because supermarket is a masculine word in Spanish, while pharmacy and office are feminine.

Something else that should keep you out of trouble is being able to explain where you live.

“Voy al kiosco para comprar el periodico,” I told two Policia Nacional agents who stopped me on my way to buy the paper recently. “¿Dónde vives?” was their response, to which I replied: “Vivo cerca de la plaza, a tres o cuatro minutos de distancia.”

I live next to the square, three or four minutes away – they didn’t like this reply, telling me to find a closer kiosk, before giving me a grumpy ‘venga’ and waving me on.

Another thing coronavirus in Spain may have brought you closer to is music.

Aside from #QuedateEnCasa and other Covid-19-

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themed tunes, one song soundtracking the crisis here is Resistiré (I will resist) by El Duo Dinamico, released in 1988.

This blast from the past is a wealth of dramatic Spanish phrases that are not only inspiring, but also educational.

My Spanish teacher Carola at Millinguals in Estepona recommended I learn the words to help my understanding of combining the presente de subjuntivo tense with the future simple.

The present subjunctive proposes a fictional (possible, impossible or hypothetical) situation, while the future simple is what we’ll do in that situation.

The verses are about what will happen. For example the line, cuando se me cierren las salidas, which translates as, ‘when my exits are all closed.’

This is the presente de subjuntivo.

‘I will resist,’ comes the triumphant response in the chorus.

Learning these lyrics will greatly improve your Spanish, as well as help you join in a balcony singsong with your neighbours.

So as coronavirus continues wreaking havoc for the economy and our sun tans, at least you’ll be able to talk your way through these tough times.

Lockdown Lowdown

And thus it came to pass that the Geek did, indeed, inherit the Earth

SPAIN enters April with the distinct prospect of the state of emergency – or should I say alarm, which is level 1 – continuing throughout the month.

On the basis of the past two weeks I don’t know what level 3 is but am pretty sure that resembles the game ‘Statues’ from my 70s childhood. You have to stand frozen on the spot until the state of emergency is lifted. Otherwise the forces of law and order have the power to fine/detain/blast you with water canon/all of the previous.

With the country in lockdown I counted my blessings for a number of reasons. Firstly because of the beautiful house that I live in, surrounded by land and overlooking a lake.

Even the friendly Policia Locales from the village (there are four and you don’t dial an emergency number, you dial their mobile) agreed that if you had to sit out the lockdown, the Casita was a rather splendid place to be.

As someone who spends most of their time pottering around, reading trivia, talking to myself, playing obscure music and staring vacantly into the

middle distance – and that’s just on air at the radio station – the lockdown hasn’t really made that much difference to me. The meltdown reaction to many people on social media raised a wry smile but for bookworms, gamers, model makers and the like, the lockdown has been geek heaven.

On a purely selfish note, on the occasions that I have had to sally forth from the Casita, the road has been blissfully free from cyclists, which, as you know by now, are the bane of my life.

I was thinking that this whole coronavirus malarkey was something of a walk in the park that wouldn’t really affect me. And then one of my best friends posted a shocking photograph that his wife had taken. Diagnosed with COVID-19, he experienced chest pains and paramedics rushed to his house at 5am.

He told me later that it felt like he had been “hit by the house”. I’m both pleased and relieved to report that he is on the road to recovery. But please, wash your hands, self isolate and stay in the f***king house!

OP Puzzle solutions

Quick Crossword

Across: 7 Spacious, 5 Idol, 9 Edges, 10 Hassock, 11 Mongrel, 13 Yells, 14 Rho, 16 Rabid, 18 Sip, 20 Maths, 22 Amnesia, 24 Travels, 26 Owlet, 27 Lots, 28 Stampede.

Down: 1 Steamer, 2 Argon, 3 Insurer, 4 Ugh, 6 Doodles, 7 Likes, 8 Ashy, 12 Libya, 15 Outlast, 17 Denholm, 19 Prattle, 20 Metal, 21 Slew, 23 Solve, 25 Sat.

SUDOKU

Charlie Smith

23

April 1st- April 14th 2020

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Vol. 13 Issue 340 www.theolivepress.es April 1st - April 14th, 2020

Plane daft

TWO men have been arrested for driving their car into Barcelona Airport.

They entered Terminal 1 via a revolving door, while the airport was practically empty.

The two men – both of whom are Albanian nationals – were apprehended by police, who claim they made an ‘Islamist-style proclamation’ but this has not been confirmed.

Neither man has a terrorist past and no explosives were found in the car.

Bread-handed POLICE in Granada have fined a man who could only produce a hard loaf of bread as evidence of a trip to the supermarket.

The man was stopped in Motril and asked to prove where he had been.

He was fined after police discovered he had only one loaf of bread ‘as hard as rock’.

Since March 16, the Motril Policia Local has issued 278 fines.

Stripper-gran

AN 80-year-old Spanish granny has been denounced for breaking the lockdown, possessing drugs and flashing police officers.

The woman from Navarra was stopped when walking down the street and asked why she was out of the house.

Her reply was that she was delivering the drug speed to her granddaughter.

The police then proceeded to search her and found three small bags conA BISHOP has been fined for driving with a neighbour taining the narcotic substance. in the passenger seat. The Bishop of San Sebastian was The situation worsened for the octofined riding shotgun, which is in violation of the state genarian when she lifted up her skirt of emergency laws. He is facing a fine of €600 despite during the search and flashed the telling cops he was taking the man to the dentist. agents.

Frocking cheek

Shame of the parade A GROUP of penitents are facing real trouble after heading out for an impromptu Easter parade during the lockdown.

The five quarantine-breakers from Utrera, near Sevilla, were stopped by police while undertaking a fake Semana Santa parade to dance music.

Two of those arrested were wearing the traditional nazarenos robes for the stunt, while two women wore the black outfits of the manolas.

The fifth person in the group can also be seen carrying a miniature paso – the elaborate religious floats paraded in Spain at Easter.

It comes after the virus caused the week-long Semana Santa celebrations to be cancelled for one of the only times in Spain’s history.

The cost for the city of Sevilla alone is expected to be around €400 million.

Get me out of here!

A MAN has asked police to arrest him as he can’t bear being confined at home with his mum.

The Galician man, 44, visited the local police station insisting he had coronavirus and needed to go to hospital.

But after confirming he did not have the virus he was sent home by officers and ordered to stay there.

Quickie in quarantine A RANDY couple have been told they could face a €30,000 fine after flouting quarantine by having sex on a beach in Estepona.

The frolicking duo, a south American man and a Spanish woman, were caught mid-romp behind a chiringuito at night and were arrested for public disorder.