Recovery Stories
Sober Life
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Welcometotheinaugural editionofRekovery magazine!
I'mthrilledtointroduceyouto apublicationthat'snotjust aboutstories;it'sabout transformation,hope,andthe journeytowardrecovery.As thepublisherofRekovery,it bringsmeimmensejoytoshare ourcollectivesuccessesand milestones
Sinceourinception,we've beendedicatedtomakinga differenceinthelivesofthose strugglingwithaddiction We'vesupported35 individualsintheirjourney throughdetoxandrecovery, providedguidanceand assistancetoover300parents andfamilymembersgrappling withthechallengesof addiction,andraisedover $20,000toestablishanational non-profitcommittedto aidingrecoveryefforts
Butourjourneydoesn'tstopthere. In2024,we'reembarkingonanew chapterasweopenourfirstsober livinghomeIt'sanincredibly excitingtimeforus,andwe're eagertocontinuemakingapositive impactinthelivesofthoseinneed Weenvisionsoberlivinghomesall acrossCanadaWherethere’saTim Horton’sthere’salsoaGuardians soberlivinghomeThat’swhat RECOVERYlooksliketous!Ahome, aplace,andacommunityfor everyoneAnINCLUSIVEsociety thathonorseveryoneontheir journeytolivingsubstance-free
WithinthepagesofRekovery magazine,you'llfindawealthof inspiringstories,insightful podcasts,andinteractivecontent Clickonthelivelinkstodiveinto showsandpodcaststhathave greatstories,inspiration,beating theodds,encouragement,and supportSo,welcomeaboard,and enjoythemagazineLet'sembark onthisjourneytogether,embracing thepowerofrecoveryandthe hopeitbringstousall
ThankyoutoALLTHE VOLUNTEERSwhomadethis happenYouROCK!
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Newly Established Non-Profit "Guardians Of Recovery" Sparks Hope and Transformation in Newfoundland and Labrador
In the shadows of societal misunderstanding, judgment, and neglect, addiction thrives, often obscured by the veil of stigmatization However, next week, a transformative event promises to thrust the issue into the spotlight, challenging preconceptions and advocating for the change our society urgently needs
Last November 21, 2023, Gower Street United Church hosted the "Recovery Revolution" event, a powerful initiative by the newly founded non-profit organization, Guardians Of Recovery This event aims to be more than just a gathering; it's a powerful message that will elevate and educate society about mental health and addictions in Newfoundland and Labrador.
Tina Olivero, the founder of Guardians Of Recovery, a mother who turned her grief into a vision for the future, shares her story. "I have a heavy heart, burdened by the weight of the hardest thing a human being will ever have to face – the loss of my son. I lost Ben this summer to a fatal overdose. Ben was a gentle giant, a soul with the softest heart in the world, and yet, he became ensnared in the grip of addiction "
The event was not just a concert; it was a call to action With a star-studded lineup of performers, the "Recovery Revolution" aims to bring the community tragedy of addiction into the mainstream conversation. Tina Olivero continues, "We needlessly lost Ben to a journey that led him from weed to shatter, prescription pills to crack –a descent into darkness that ultimately claimed his life with opioids. Ben witnessed horrors no one should experience, living in drug homes and trap houses, a tragic existence fueled by addiction."
Tina Olivero sheds light on the urgent need for change "Instead of understanding, educating, and elevating those with the struggle of addiction, we are judging, shunning, dehumanizing, stigmatizing, and ignoring those with mental health and addictions, leaving them in shelters and on the streets to fend for themselves."
The event's purpose goes beyond entertainment; it's a platform for de-stigmatization Tina emphasizes, "Underneath stigma lies fear, born out of a lack of knowledge. We must educate and elevate understanding about addiction as a brain illness, where those affected cannot make decisions in their own best interest "
Guardians Of Recovery envisions a world of sober living homes, communities, cafes, art, and music – a celebration of the possibility of being free, drug-free. Tina passionately states, “Recovery is about restoring basic human needs – dignity, hope, responsibility, accountability, and a sense of purpose and contribution.
Guardians Of Recovery is not just an organization; it's a movement to create a culture of healing and love.
Success doesn't necessarily mean having the biggest house, car, or an abundance of gifts under the tree, nor does it hinge on the number of vacations taken in a lifetime. The concept is set to expand in the coming years.
This is me at 37 years old today, eight years from the day I delivered my baby boy. On his birthday, I secretly celebrate myself. Why, you may ask? Because I've come so far from where I was.
In 2015, I was a pregnant perfectionist working in a corporate position, attempting to navigate through high blood pressure that eventually led to three full months of bed rest.
On December 13th, my little man was born. While it was nothing like the movies and quite traumatic, I emerged from the hospital very happy despite the tears streaming down my face Ahhh, postpartum blues They didn't seem to go away, even upon returning to work from maternity leave.
Did I mention my husband lost his job while I was on maternity leave? We were doing our best to maintain our new home but realized it was no longer possible and had to put it on the market. Fast forward to the fall of 2017, something wasn't right I was still severely depressed, concealing my struggles behind a smile, much like the one you see in this picture.
Eventually, I ended up hospitalized for 60 days that same month A part of this was being away from my family on my Son's second Birthday and Christmas.
I feel most would have given up, checked themselves out to be with family however, I knew that I NEEDED to get well for him as he is and was my priority at that time.
This time of year, I find very traumatic as memories pop of my hospitalization, leaving the hospital to have supper with my son on his Birthday only to have to return to the hospital that evening The same was true for Christmas
I had nothing purchased and had to make the most out of being very unwell, little money and a few small gifts purchased on Christmas Eve knowing that I had to return to the hospital on Boxing Day.
Despite how sick I was, there was a determination, a fire under my feet that I can't explain. I began my Mental Health Journey and started to help others while I did it.
At first, I was slow and spent a lot of time knitting on the couch, trying to exercise and eat when I'd remember. I played a lot of Piano, wrote music to heal and made new connections and experiences through my art.
Fast forward 6 years later and I survived!!! I'm still here!!!
I stand proud and tall as a Mom of 3! While my days are not as they used to be in the corporate world, I have found a balance in life as a stay at home mom, foster parent and music enthusiast! I have learned to take care of my own needs which then translates into the well being of my children.
My life experiences and challenges have made me a fantastic mom and I'm not afraid to shout it out loud! I will teach my children the lessons of life and how to navigate through every challenge that may come their way
The reason why I'm celebrating myself today is because I want everyone to know that they are important enough and deserve a chance to be well Whatever it takes, no matter the sacrifices, do it. Just do it. I promise you that you will come out the other side with an entirely new outlook on life and learn so much about yourself and others.
As always, I am only a message away to provide peer support and guidance.
Never give up on yourself Ever
Tune in to Sarah’s live stream podcast
Join us as we dive deep into addiction medicine with Dr. Paul Sobey, a seasoned addiction medicine physician, and Chief Medical Officer from Alberta, Canada. Discover his leading-edge insights from his extensive experience in family practice and addiction medicine, including his role as an Adjunct Professor and Clinical Instructor at esteemed universities.
Learn how Dr. Sobey's personal journey through recovery shapes his unique perspective on comprehensive care and workplace-focused substance-related concerns. Don't miss this enlightening episode with a leader in addiction medicine and recovery-oriented systems of care
BYHOPEHACKETT BYHOPEHACKETT BYHOPEHACKETT
I have vivid memories.
I remember the moment when my grandmother and I lay together in our bathtub because just maybe, the bullets wouldn’t reach us here if dad opened fire.
Addiction will do that to you Put you so far out of yourself that you go so insane you have no idea how you are hurting your family. Addiction is lethal. Half of us never make it back.
My Father was an incredible, hard working man and he had a smile that could light up a room. His addiction was what he viewed as his only way through this life.
My dad’s addiction stole my opportunity to experience the typical parental guidance I needed from a father. I was cheated out of a trusting stable upbringing So are all the other people who live with addicted parents If leaves scars Scars deeper than the Grand Canyon.
At a very young age, I assumed the role of a parent in our family I spent my time making sure my Father felt loved, acknowledging his greatness in my eyes regardless of his circumstances. I wanted to give him hope to hang on because the system let him down repeatedly.
My dad was unpredictable at best. He would transform into someone I didn’t recognize with a single drink or drug. For the majority of my life, I navigated through a constant state of fight or flight I witnessed firsthand how addiction could rob, dismantle, and ultimately claim the lives of those dearest to us.
With repeated substance use, his morals, values, and ethics disappeared. He had no cause and effect He had drug-induced Anosognosia He had no capacity to see he was sick Ultimately he ended up in jail because of his brain illness. Unfair as it is, my misunderstood father was confined to a prison cell instead of offering the necessary treatment to address his deeper wound. Severe trauma from his childhood played out in his future addiction, just like it did in mine. We were two sides of the same coin. Addiction is like that It carries on through generations
At the age of 18, he and I indulged in drugs together for the very first time. Unwittingly seeking solace in that moment. Little did I realize that it would ultimately lead to even more pain than I could imagine.
In 2020 my Father passed away of addiction The loss shattered my heart, leaving me with a profound sense of guilt for not doing more to save him. In the aftermath of his death, my own drug abuse escalated and I delved into more substances, living recklessly and doing what I had learned to do, numb it out. A year later more tragedy arose, my apartment went up in flames and a few days later our Family discovered that my Grandmother, who raised me, had terminal cancer.
Although I had pledged to break the cycle of addiction within my family given the destruction my father put us all through, ironically I found myself following in my father's footsteps.
Seeking refuge from the harsh realities of so much loss, I plunged deeper into drug abuse. Despite being offered substantial help, I rejected it, feeling unworthy of change. Frankly, the prospect of change seemed more intimidating than maintaining the misery of my addiction.
Although I had an instant love and relief from substance abuse, I found myself interested in attending college. I began a program called “Child and Youth Care With Addictions Support Worker”. The program came naturally to me because I lived and was living the material I was studying. At this point, I was a high-functioning addict, but it didn’t last long.
Despite completing my diploma my addiction that was once functional spiralled into a nonfunctional state. That’s when I hit my lowest lows. I found myself homeless, estranged from my Family, and residing in a perilous drug-infested environment. I couch surfed, stayed in trap houses, you name it, I did it!
The cost of my daily habit exceeded most people's monthly rent I witnessed my self-worth diminish every day as I did whatever it took to access my drug of choice. I remember looking in the mirror and seeing the toll it had taken on my body and face I melted away
Turning Point:
One night, a stark realization confronted me that I was going to die The certainty of my mortality dawned and I knew it was only a matter of time before I was gone.
My thoughts turned to my Father sensing his presence beside me. Contemplating the deep love of my Family, who I knew would go to great lengths to support me if I were prepared to receive it.
In the midst of profound despair, I descended to my knees and uttered a desperate plea to God, “If you can hear me, please help me”.
My family had reached out to treatment facilities outside of our province Fortunately, a bed had been secured for me at a transformative center: “Metamorphosis Center For Change”. Within hours my Aunt arrived, taking me to a hotel where she fed me and bathed me, I couldn’t tell you how long it had been since I attended to these basic needs.
On the following day, November 11th (11.11), I boarded a flight to the treatment center Here, the focus wasn’t solely on addressing my substance use, but why I used the substances in the first place. It extended to confronting my deepest traumas and pains. It was here that I recovered by the Grace of God
Transformation:
I held steadfast to my faith, convinced that God spared me for a reason My recovery journey has been marked by overcoming internal struggles and challenges, replacing the lies that addiction brought with truth.
I immersed myself in my daily routine, working my individual care plan, reaching out for support such as support groups and counseling, and most importantly, doing all of these consistently.
It was a mantra I lived by; reminding myself to cling to gratitude “not every day is a good day but there is something good in every day”.
Getting sober is a battle to be fought; but one worth fighting “It works if we work it, so work it, you’re worth it”
Presently, with a warmed heart, I share that by confronting my fears daily with the strength derived from God, Today, I serve as a counselor at the very Center that played a pivotal role in saving my life from addiction. I believe I was saved in order to do good.”
My name is Hope. It’s a name that is especially pertinent in my life because it was all I really had. Hope is a recovery advocate with firsthand experience just like my father. A few years back, I couldn't fathom surviving my addiction. With the gift of transformation, I am now motivated to passionately convey the message that recovery is achievable, regardless of how distant you may feel from it!
I’d like to emphasize that regardless of your current life situation, irrespective of the burdens of shame, or the grip of obsession with substances, there is always hope. I am confident you have a purpose, you have immense worthiness to embrace life fully, not merely to survive Beneath the weight of your pain lies a beauty waiting to be revealed.
I share my story with you in hopes that you see that recovery is not only possible but it eagerly awaits you I am forever praying and advocating for those grappling with substance use disorder as well as their families.
Blessings,
Hope Hackett
FROM EMANCIPATION FROM EMANCIPATION
Twenty-five years ago, as a twelve-year-old girl living on the Waterford bridge side of Topsail Road, I appeared to have everything a child could want. My parents were hardworking, involved in oil projects around the province, which meant our home was always filled with all the necessities: a spotless house, a full fridge, and all the material comforts Yet, beneath this surface of abundance, I was a lonely child, yearning not for more gadgets or clothes, but for companionship and presence.
Left to my own devices due to my parents’ demanding jobs, I often found myself seeking connection in public spaces like the local gas station or the nearby mall. These places eventually became my refuge, where I formed friendships with other youths who were, in many cases, living on their own as emancipated minors. This was the beginning of my transformation into a self-proclaimed "hard-core mall rat.”
By the age of 14, I was already a regular visitor at Choices for Youth on Lemarchant Road, drawn in by the care and attention I received there It was a place where my story mattered, where activities filled my days, and I felt a sense of belonging. However, this feeling of acceptance and the freedom I so cherished eventually led me down a precarious path With encouragement from a worker, I chose to become emancipated, which seemed like a solution to my solitude but instead introduced a new set of profound challenges.
The freedom of emancipation at 16 brought with it the harsh realities of independence. I moved into what I called my "party pad," where unsupervised living spiraled into debt, drug use, and continual unsafe circumstances
My life became a cycle of attending court, staying in youth centers, and shifting from one temporary home to another, surrounded by adults who were strangers to the concept of a protective and nurturing environment.
This lifestyle continued until a significant turning point at the age of 19: I became a mother. The responsibility of caring for my child ignited a desire to change and spurred me toward recovery and self-improvement Yet, despite this new role, I continued to struggle with the repercussions of my earlier decisions—homelessness, mental health challenges, and the lingering effects of my tumultuous adolescence
The journey through motherhood made me reflective, especially when my own child expressed desires to become emancipated This time, the outcome was different A vigilant social worker in Alberta intervened, emphasizing the value of family and the support system my son had at home, preventing him from repeating my past mistakes
Reflecting on my own path to independence, I realized the stark lack of oversight and guidance in my case. No one had checked in with my parents or evaluated my living conditions I was left to navigate the adult world alone at 16, without any real preparation or ongoing support. This realization has fueled my desire to advocate for changes in how we support our youth, especially those who seek emancipation
Today, I share my story not just as a tale of caution but also as a beacon of hope for others facing similar struggles. The road to recovery is long and often winding, but it is also filled with moments of triumph and clarity. Through community programs and the persistent love of my family, I learned crucial life skills that helped reshape my future.
As I look back on my experiences, I am committed to raising awareness about the importance of responsible and supportive approaches to youth emancipation. It is essential that we, as a community, ensure that no child has to navigate early independence without the proper tools and support networks. This commitment to change is not only for those who are currently struggling but also to prevent future generations from enduring similar hardships
In sharing my journey, I hope to inspire others to seek help, embrace their community resources, and most importantly, believe in their capacity to change and thrive The path to recovery is indeed a journey, not a destination, and each step forward, no matter how small, is a step toward a better future.
In this compelling Guardians podcast, we dive deep into the heart of the safe supply conversation. Join us as we explore this critical question with the insight and expertise of Dr. Robert Tanguay, a renowned psychiatrist at the forefront of addiction medicine.
As communities grapple with the complexities of drug policy and harm reduction, Dr. Tanguay offers a nuanced perspective on the safe supply initiative, its implications, and its effectiveness in addressing the opioid crisis.
Substance addiction is a complex and challenging condition that not only affects physical health but also significantly alters a person's behavior and personality. The impact of substance use disorder extends beyond the immediate consequences, reaching into the very core of the individual's psyche This article delves into the ways addiction can reshape personality traits, leading to profound changes in behavior and cognitive functions.
Increased Secrecy: Individuals grappling with substance addiction often become masters of secrecy. The fear of judgment and the desire to conceal their struggles lead to withdrawal from loved ones, creating a barrier of mistrust This heightened privacy may stem from a realization that their substance use would be disapproved of, or it could be driven by concerns about legal repercussions.
Aggression and Anger: As addiction progresses, the individual may find it challenging to defend their addiction, leading to heightened aggression, both verbal and physical. This aggression may stem from withdrawal symptoms, the impact of the substance itself, chronic stress, or unresolved trauma. Alcohol, in particular, has been associated with increased aggression due to disinhibition, impulsivity, impaired cognitive function, and a disregard for consequences Deception: The pursuit of substances often leads individuals to engage in deceptive and manipulative behaviors. Intense cravings may serve as justifications for these actions, causing guilt and desperation. Damage to the frontal lobe, induced by addiction, can contribute to increased deviant behavior such as lying and manipulation
Risk-Taking: Addiction alters the brain's prefrontal cortex, responsible for judgment, planning, and impulse control Ethical concerns may be pushed aside, leading individuals to engage in risky behaviors like borrowing or stealing money, sharing needles, or driving under the influence Different substances can affect judgment in unique ways, making individuals less likely to care about potential dangers or consequences.
Forgetfulness: Substance use disorder can result in memory problems, with various substances causing forgetfulness or even inducing amnesia-like effects.
Benzodiazepines, cannabis, methamphetamine, and alcohol are among the substances known to impact memory processing, leading to cognitive challenges and forgetfulness.
Frequent Mood Swings: The brain's balance is disrupted by substance use, leading to mood swings that can range from calmness to irritability or aggression. Prolonged use may diminish areas of the prefrontal cortex responsible for emotional regulation, causing shifting levels of neurotransmitters and difficulty in regulating emotions.
Depression and Anxiety: Addiction can both cause and worsen depression and anxiety, often co-occurring with substance use disorders. Poor emotional regulation, shame, and fear of withdrawal contribute to feelings of hopelessness and helplessness. Some substances can render antidepressants less effective, further exacerbating mental health issues.
Paranoia: Substance use, especially with mind-altering chemicals, can induce paranoia. Individuals struggling with addiction may experience irrational fears, hypersensitivity, anger, and difficulty distinguishing between reality and perceived threats. Severe mental illnesses like schizophrenia or bipolar disorder can be exacerbated by addiction, leading to heightened paranoid feelings.
Isolation: Addiction often leads to isolation as individuals seek to hide their struggles or protect their addiction Loneliness, loss of control, and overwhelming stress contribute to intentional distancing from family and friends. The individual may feel misunderstood, leading to self-imposed isolation to cope with the demands of addiction.
As addiction takes precedence, individuals may lose interest in activities they once enjoyed Substance use becomes the primary focus, overshadowing hobbies, work, or education. This decline in engagement can lead to a further deterioration of mental health, contributing to depression and an overall loss of interest in previously cherished activities.
Substance addiction's impact on personality is multifaceted, affecting cognitive functions, emotional regulation, and social behaviors. Recognizing these changes is crucial for understanding the challenges individuals face in their journey toward recovery Addiction is a treatable condition, and with professional help, individuals can reclaim their lives and rediscover their authentic selves.
If you or someone you know is struggling with addiction, seeking help is the first step toward a healthier, more fulfilling life.
We are here for you every step of the way!
DISCOVERY A COMPREHENSIVE SUPPORTS & RESOURCES GUIDE FOR MENTAL WELLNESS & RECOVERY - ON OUR WEBSITE GuardiansOfRecovery.Foundation/List-Of-Resources
MUSIC IS A MUSIC IS A MUSIC IS A POWERFUL POWERFUL POWERFUL FORCE FORCE FORCE
Music is a powerful force, from my perspective it inspires, it heals and has the possibility to create change in this sometimes-somber world
I have always created and used my music for good, everyday life inspires me. My music consists of upbeat, fun, energetic songs that make people smile, laugh, sing and dance There are also those emotional songs that when performed have such a positive impact on people, I have been told many times throughout my music career, “ your music has helped me so much and through so many tough times”. I appreciated hearing this as it is very encouraging for me as a writer/performer.
I recently had the pleasure of performing several songs at Ben’s Benefit. Ben’s Benefit was truly an amazing event featuring many local talented performers. The music was inspiring, uplifting and helped raise funds and awareness for a great cause. It brought a community together to help a community, I was truly grateful to be a part of something so special, inspirational, and impactful for so many people. While I performed a couple of songs, being able to perform my song, Demons, was an honor for me, just knowing there were audience members there that night who lost loved ones to mental health and addictions, or presently have people who are suffering through mental health and addictions I was truly humbled That song was written to remind myself and others that we are all able to help each other in some way. Alcohol, abuse, drugs and gambling…...
Demons have many faces and none of us are immune to knowing someone who has struggled with an addiction of any and every kind As my dad always told me “do not judge someone if you have never walked in their shoes, because you have no idea why they are where they are in this life”, I have lived by his advice
The one line that stands out for me in my song Demons includes these words…. “We’ve all got friends who left us way too soon. So if you need to talk I’m always here for you ” This line hits home with me as it does with many others. Sometimes we feel like we cannot reach out to friends or family when we are struggling, it is time to change the stigma attached to mental health and addictions Like any other disease or illness there are treatments available to help and support, it is time for societal change. Stop and ask someone how their day is going, smile at a stranger, help a senior or make a child laugh Your actions will spread through the community and will indeed have a positive impact. Many of my songs reference kindness, a word we sometimes forget. Kindness is a powerful force that can change a person’s day and have a positive influence, it could possibly save a life.
On a personal note, I too have my own demons. And they are always around I have been fortunate enough to have the support that has enabled me to face them. But I will not ever fool myself into thinking that I am free from them. And fortunately, God has given me a gift of writing. Like music helps people, my writing helps to keep my mind occupied and calm through the many challenges that life brings.
Listening to music may also help you Music has the power to change your life in ways that you may not even realize. Imagine for a minute or two a world without music. Not a good feeling, crank up your favorite songs, sing along, dance or just sit back close your eyes and listen
These lyrics are from my song Demons: “We all like to do things our own way. And that’s ok but just don’t hide away When we talk to each other it’s not so bad. I guess you never know who’s feeling kind of sad.”
I want to close by referencing them and saying that we are truly all in this together. There is help available so do not ever feel like you are all alone on your journey. There’s no shame in asking for help or admitting that we are struggling In my experience, nobody gets through this life on their own, we all need and have had support and guidance, from family, friends and health care professionals There is help available I have gotten through tough times with help from some amazing people. And I have paid it forward by helping others.
Therapy comes in many forms Please do not deny yourself the opportunity to make you stronger and help in your recovery. There are other ways to help you in your recovery, walking, running, yoga, all exercising, journaling, meditation or even talking with or listening to a friend can give you a different perspective on things. Reaching out for help or advice could be the catalyst to a new journey for you on your road to recovery
Let us all be there for each other. If we all come together, we can make things better for everyone and maybe just maybe someday we will become One Human Race
Tune in to this podcast about the future of recovery, focusing on the emergence of "Inclusive Recovery Cities" worldwide. This conversation holds the potential to offer innovative solutions to the global illicit drug crisis.
We will embark on a visionary conversation about inclusive recovery cities with Professor David Best who is the leader behind groundbreaking initiatives at the Centre for Addiction Recovery Research (CARR) at Leeds Trinity University.
Join us for a conversation that highlights visionary, forward-thinking people who are architecting inclusive recovery cities around the globe.
No one could tell, but a Mother would know. A Mother could tell by the tip of a toe. That was a line from one of our favourite nightly bed-time stories when they were little.
These sentiments took on an entirely new meaning when confronted with a police photo of my fifteen-year-old boy A boy who had, just four short years ago, penned letters to Santa Claus.
As a mother, it was challenging to reconcile this present reality with the memories of a oncebeautiful child. How did we get here? How did my son become a drug addict? I felt guilt, shame, helplessness, alone. It was a nightmare. I couldn’t look at those old letters that Christmas, nor his childhood photos, without crying I was grieving that little boy.
The intervening high school years unfolded as a descent into a chaotic world of drug abuse, aggressive behaviour, and fear. Fear for his life, fear that drove me to pay off drug dealers, fear of answering knocks on the door not knowing who would be on the other side. There were gangs of teens pounding at the door, windows shattered in the night, and lies and theft became a daily struggle. This was our life now a life punctuated by the constant fear of what was going to happen next
Moving to a new neighbourhood only intensified the isolation. In our previous home of over 20 years, we knew all of our neighbours. Now, nobody would talk to us, or perhaps it was my own embarrassment preventing me from reaching out and getting to know them.
We became "those people," the house marked by repeated visits from the police. But, despite the shame, I knew I had to call for help each time it was needed. I had to be strong, draw hard lines to protect myself and my other son from becoming victims of his actions.
For the best part of three years, I felt like I was walking through quicksand, battling exhaustion, depression, and disbelief that we had fallen into this nightmare of a life. My job demanded my time yet offered a respite from the chaos at home. But the toll was evident in my own health and wellbeing I gained about 90 pounds in those few years. Seeking counselling became essential, and through programs such as Partnering with Parents, I began to explore new ways of coping I knew I had to change how I was dealing with all of this, I had to change my responses to difficult behaviours.
Gradually, I accepted that I could not control my son’s choices. The turning point came in the middle of the night, as worry about his wellbeing consumed me. Is he beaten up on the side of the street, is he dead, will he overdose, will he end up as a skeet living on skid row? In a moment of radical acceptance, I realized that whatever would be, would be. I could not predict or control his future I only had control over what I needed to do to live in a safe and healthy home I learned to be fully present, shedding the anxiety of what might be and the sadness of the past. Mindfulness and meditation became my coping mechanisms Acceptance became my only way to survive it.
I learned to cope day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute, and when it was really bad - breath by breath. I learned to have compassion for the pain he must be going through yet not allowing him to cross the lines I had drawn to keep my home safe I learned to be a soft place to land when he needed it without being a doormat. I learned to stay strong in my resolve by knowing I was doing all of this for that little boy he once was, and the man he would become when the turmoil of these teenage years were behind us.
Today, our struggles persist, but the intensity has waned The cycle continues, but with structure, he finds stability. Through years of unwavering strength, he knows I will not be a doormat, won't accept violent behaviour, and won't lend money without repayment He knows I love him and will support him if he chooses wellness No matter what, he knows I am always here.
My hope is that as he matures into adulthood, he will find his way My hope is that one day he will say ““Mom, thank you for being strong and helping to show me the right path.” But I don't cling to the belief that it will happen, because it may not. So, I stay in the present moment, savour life's beauty, hold onto hope, and let go
This is one mother's tale of navigating addiction, finding strength, and embracing hope. I know there are millions more out there!
The global illicit drug crisis has reached alarming proportions, leaving individuals and communities desperate for solutions.
Dr. Chris Milburn delves into this pressing issue, shedding light on the complexities of harm reduction culture. With insights suggesting that some approaches may inadvertently exacerbate the problem, tune in for a nuanced discussion on navigating this critical issue. Join Tina Olivero, Janet Dermody, and Dr Chris Milburn in this very enlightening conversation
BY CHANTELLE CADIGAN BY CADIGAN BY CHANTELLE
As the curtains closed on 2016, a lingering sense of isolation gripped me despite the presence of friends and family. Even amid their support, I felt an indescribable loneliness, an emptiness that seemed to persistently shadow every moment It was during this vulnerable period that a fleeting thought emerged an acquaintance's experience with cocaine, a mere curiosity to escape the monotony and seek a momentary thrill.
What began as a single attempt to chase a fleeting high swiftly evolved into a tumultuous four- year battle with addiction, a journey that spun out of control before I comprehended the gravity of my situation. The allure of that initial experience, fueled by a desire for something beyond the ordinary, gradually transformed into a relentless pursuit of a substance that promised escape but delivered only a descent into darkness.
Blessed with a loving and supportive family during my upbringing, I grappled with an inexplicable sense of displacement, fear, and profound sadness Unbeknownst to me then, my adult years unraveled the truth I was entangled in the grasp of anxiety and depression, silent battles that plagued my existence. The foundation of love and care laid by my family became both a blessing and a source of inner conflict, as the weight of my struggles seemed incongruent with the outward appearance of a happy, supportive home.
Concealing my mental turmoil from the world, I navigated life's complex path alone, resorting to coping mechanisms that were inherently flawed and unhealthy. Days turned into years, and I lingered in the shadows of untreated anguish, unaware of the toll it silently extracted The facade of normalcy, carefully upheld in the presence of those who cared for me, only deepened the chasm between the reality of my internal struggles and the external image I projected.
In 2013, five months after my high school graduation, I took a pivotal step I reached out to my doctor. It was a decision that altered the course of my life. Finally vocalizing the inward struggles, I found solace in devising a plan with her, embarking on a journey toward healing. The therapist's office became a refuge, a space where I could strip away the layers of pretense and confront the raw, unfiltered truth of my emotional turmoil
Therapy sessions became a sanctuary, offering reprieve from overwhelming loneliness In 2014, a motor vehicle accident brought a new challenge, inflicting chronic physical pain, forever altering the trajectory of my life. While physiotherapy and medication assisted in mending my physical wounds, the mental toll was profound. The collision of physical and emotional pain created a complex web, each strand influencing and exacerbating the other
The pain was untreatable and intolerable. A prescription for Percocet was the only thing getting me through the day At this moment of my life, I was able to see what the damage could be if I continued abusing the only medication that eased my pain, and I stopped taking it.
Between the end of 2014 and the beginning of 2016, I found myself progressing forward. I was getting help, had a great support system, a relationship that was turning out to be long term, and a future I was excited for All of that was taken in a matter of seconds. What began as an impulsive purchase of cocaine, a decision devoid of any intention to repeat, soon morphed into an all-encompassing dependency that consumed my life
Four years of staying up all night, missing important life events, ruining relationships, losing friends, losing jobs, overdosing in parking lots, laced drugs, and wondering if today is the day I die; four years of not even caring if I did. The descent into addiction was not a gradual slide but a precipitous fall, a series of moments that irreversibly altered the trajectory I had envisioned. Every missed opportunity and shattered relationship became a haunting reminder of the price exacted by the allure of momentary escape
My recovery started when my father, an overprotective man, had a gut feeling that something was going on. He had a bad feeling that I was hiding things, which I was.
How do you admit to the person who raised you, loved you, and took care of you that you ruined the life they provided? The internal struggle of revealing the extent of my transgressions to the person whose life had been dedicated to nurturing mine was a painful reckoning. The looming confrontation became an inevitable collision between the facade I had constructed and the reality that demanded acknowledgment.
When he found out, I didn't know what to do. Hiding away, I knew I had to go home and face my parents eventually. I tried to prepare myself for the inevitable conversation, grappling with the magnitude of the truth I was about to unveil It was a daunting prospect confessing to the man who had been my unwavering protector, the person who had invested love and care into shaping the life I was now jeopardizing
Conversation
When my father confronted me, his eyes mirrored a blend of concern, disappointment, and an underlying determination to see me through this darkness. It was a pivotal moment, and as I summoned the courage to expose the wreckage of my choices, the words stumbled out, laden with the weight of remorse The room, once a haven of familial warmth, now became an arena where the consequences of my actions echoed with a deafening intensity.
Admitting my struggles and acknowledging the havoc I had wreaked upon the sanctuary he provided was excruciating
The room seemed to hold its breath as my father absorbed the painful revelation. But instead of condemnation, what followed was an unexpected outpouring of support In the midst of my selfimposed isolation, a bridge of understanding emerged, and my father's response was not just a lifeline but an unexpected beacon of hope in the darkness that had engulfed our lives
His overprotective instincts, which once shielded me from the world, now transformed into a lifeline. Together, we embarked on a journey of recovery a journey that demanded vulnerability, honesty, and an unwavering commitment to rebuilding the fractured pieces of my life The unconditional love that had defined our relationship now became the bedrock on which we would confront the shadows and carve a path toward redemption.
It was not an easy road. There were tearful conversations, sleepless nights, and moments when the weight of guilt threatened to drag us both under. Yet, in that crucible of vulnerability, a newfound connection grew between us. My father is not just a parent but a pillar of strength, an ally in the battle against addiction The challenges we faced together were not just the burdens of an individual in recovery but the collective weight of a family determined to emerge from the depths of despair.
This unexpected twist in our relationship became a beacon of hope, a testament to the resilience of familial bonds even in the face of adversity. As I stumbled through the early days of recovery, his support was a constant — a steady reminder that redemption was possible In facing the wreckage of my addiction together, we unearthed a shared determination to rebuild. The admission that initially seemed insurmountable became the catalyst for transformation — a turning point that propelled me toward the path of recovery and allowed our relationship to emerge stronger than ever before.
My struggle with addiction followed a relentless pattern, cycling through guilt, anxiety, fleeting euphoria, and the inevitable plunge into sickness. Acknowledging the magnitude of the issue was a daunting task as I found myself ensnared in denial of how serious the situation at hand was. In the midst of confusion, the burden of guilt weighed heavily on me, and anxiety became an internal devourer The paradox of finding excitement in self-destructive behavior was perplexing an alarming manifestation of an underlying sickness.
The grip of addiction felt impossible, like navigating a dark tunnel without a glimpse of light. Confronted by the despair of doubting my survival, each day felt like an uncertain journey Yet, against all odds, I stand here today, a living testament that recovery is not only achievable but transformative. I am a living example of the resilience that resides within the human spirit, offering hope to those ensnared by addiction I affirm that improvement is within reach and that recovery is not an abstract concept but a tangible reality. I am living proof that, despite the darkest depths, there exists a path to reclaiming life and savoring the joy of a new day I am living proof that no matter how far gone you feel, we do recover.
Join Tina Olivero for a brief guided meditation aimed at cultivating a stress-free day Find a comfortable position and focus on deep breathing to calm your mind. Let go of tension with each exhale and observe your thoughts without judgment Stay present by focusing on your senses and set a positive intention for the day ahead. Open your eyes with renewed clarity and peace, ready to embrace the day mindfully.
In the intricate dance of neurotransmitters, dopamine takes center stage, influencing our mood, pleasure, and reward. Understanding the dopamine dilemma provides insights into why individuals gravitate towards various substances and behaviors, leading to addiction and the challenging path to recovery
Dopamine, often hailed as the "feel-good" neurotransmitter, is a critical element in our brain's reward system Its role in reinforcing behaviors necessary for survival, such as eating and socializing, makes it a central player in the pursuit of pleasure and satisfaction.
Dopamine-seeking has a valid purpose until it evolves and becomes an addiction. Then dopamine seeking, beyond the point of usefulness, becomes a danger to our lives and demands that we overcome it
To overcome an addiction, you must upgrade yourself, and lead from your highest self. Doing so will make you more conscious, aware, and powerful than just about everyone in society Why? Because, overcoming addiction provides you with an understanding of your thoughts and actions such that you create less damage and more love in the world Resistance to addiction and not learning from addiction, means we live like a bull in a china shop, shattering people, relationships, and ourselves over and over again.
So addiction sucks but if you overcome it, the
Overcoming addiction is ultimately a call to selflove
Addiction takes many forms. Drugs and alcohol are obvious. Less obvious are sugar, addiction to being right, addiction to procrastination, social media, junk food, binge eating, working too much, overthinking, self-criticism, needing to be more powerful than others, dominating people and situations, not allowing others to support/contribute to you, being uncoachable, being negative, being fearful, being overly attached, jealousy, over-analyzing, fear of taking action, addiction to drama/trauma/pain, pornography addiction, social media scrolling, hoarding addiction, never having enough addiction, video addiction, phone addiction, phone games addiction, gambling addiction, money addiction, success addiction, guilt addiction, shame addiction, sex addiction, attention-seeking addiction, escaping reality addiction, being an introvert addiction, and the list goes on.
All of these experiences may spike dopamine and provide you with temporary relief. But then the negative consequences of addiction, sneak into your reality, calling to be transformed. Any area of life that has a repeated issue, is often steeped in an addiction Any area of life that is not working as you would like it to will often harbor some level of resistance within us. Left untreated, the result is often addiction.
Many addictive behaviors provide a temporary spike in dopamine, offering a fleeting sense of pleasure. However, the negative consequences that follow can sneak into one's reality, creating a cycle of temporary highs and lasting lows Overcoming addiction involves breaking free from the illusion of momentary relief and embracing a journey toward sustained well-being.
Addiction is not limited to substances alone. It extends its reach into various aspects of life, including relationships, work, technology, and even internal thought processes. The diversity of addiction showcases the complexity of the journey toward self-love and personal evolution.
Any area of life marked by repeated issues is often steeped in addiction. Recognizing these red flags is the first step toward understanding the underlying patterns that need transformation. Whether it's the compulsion to be right, the constant need for external validation, or the escape into digital realms, these patterns signal the need for introspection and change
The Dopamine Dilemma:
Addictive behaviors often lead to a spike in dopamine, providing a temporary sense of pleasure. However, the pursuit of this pleasure can become a self-destructive cycle. Overcoming addiction involves rewiring the brain to find fulfillment in healthier more sustainable sources
While addiction may initially provide a sense of comfort or escape, the quality of person one becomes after overcoming it is undeniably worth the struggle The journey is about shedding destructive patterns, cultivating self-love, and embracing the full spectrum of one's potential.
A Closer Look Now, let's shed light on the extensive list of hidden addictions that individuals may grapple with on their journey to self-love It's important to note that any of these addictions that go on, without interruption, will often lead to more severe and life-threatening addictions. The most terrifying aspect of addiction is for them to go undealt with The purpose of addiction is to allow you to heal, grow, and become self-aware at the highest levels. Resistance to that will lead to suffering and life becoming unmanageable.
TYPICAL ADDICTIONS AND THEIR DOPAMINE REWARDS
Here are 25 typical Dopamine-Seeking Addictions and how the provide a hit of dopamine with every addictive action.
1. Drug and Alcohol Addiction: Euphoric effects induce a dopamine surge, creating a rewardseeking loop.
2. Gambling Addiction: The thrill of risk and potential rewards triggers dopamine release.
3. Compulsive Shopping: The anticipation and excitement associated with buying items elevate
4 Excessive Video Gaming: In-game achievements and rewards stimulate dopamine release.
5. Binge Eating: Consuming large amounts of food provides a temporary dopamine boost
6 Compulsive Exercise: Intense physical activity triggers the release of dopamine.
7. Social Media Scrolling: Likes, comments, and notifications provide intermittent dopamine rewards
8. Prescription Drug Misuse: Certain medications can artificially elevate dopamine levels.
9. Caffeine Overconsumption: Stimulates dopamine release, leading to increased alertness
10 Pornography Addiction: Sexual arousal and satisfaction stimulate dopamine production.
11. Compulsive Phone Use: Constant notifications and updates trigger dopamine release.
12 Social Comparison Addiction: Seeking validation through comparison activates the brain's reward system.
13. Attention Addiction: Constantly seeking attention from others for a dopamine boost
14, Guilt and Shame Addiction: Self-flagellation can paradoxically trigger dopamine release.
15. Sex Addiction: A pursuit of varied sexual experiences to maintain dopamine highs.
16 Escaping Reality: Engaging in fantasy or daydreaming to trigger dopamine release.
17. Compulsive Lying: The thrill of deception can stimulate dopamine production.
18 Overconsumption of News and Information: Constant updates trigger dopamine release
19. Impulsive Spending: Buying items impulsively for the pleasure of acquisition.
20. Phone Games Addiction: Achieving in-game
21 Gambling Addiction: The uncertainty of outcomes triggers dopamine release.
22. Money Addiction: Pursuit of financial success as a dopamine-seeking behavior.
23 Success Addiction: Achieving goals triggers dopamine, fostering a drive for success
24. Chronic Overthinking: Dwelling on thoughts and scenarios can stimulate dopamine production.
25 Chronic Self-Criticism: Negative self-talk can paradoxically trigger dopamine release.
Dopamine Deficit and Escalation:
The dopamine dilemma arises when individuals experience a baseline deficit, leading them to seek substances or behaviors that artificially elevate dopamine levels. This pursuit creates a cycle of escalating tolerance, where individuals need more to achieve the same pleasurable effects, driving them deeper into the clutches of addiction.
Recognizing the myriad ways individuals seek dopamine provides a foundation for understanding and addressing addictive behaviors. Breaking free from the dopamine dilemma involves a comprehensive approach that addresses both the psychological and physiological aspects of addiction Through therapy, support groups, and the cultivation of healthier sources of dopamine, individuals can navigate the complex world of addiction toward a path of lasting recovery.
Many addictions often have underlying addictions. For example, a substance use addiction may be a result of a negative self-talk addiction Until you work on the self-talk addiction, the substance use is not likely to heal on its own because it was a result, not the underlying root cause.
To get a little more insight into yourself, try this self-test.
On a scale of 1 to 10, (10 being the highest) rate your level of experience with the following After this test is completed on yourself, ask your most trusted friend, teacher, or coach to rate you on the same scale.
Let us know what you discover. We discuss these things on the Facebook Group Guardians Of Recovery.
Perfectionism
Approval-seeking addiction
Codependency
Validation addiction
Overworking to escape emotions
Comparison addiction
Chronic complaining
People-pleasing
Fear of rejection
Constant busyness
Impulse buying/shopping addiction
Substance misuse in the form of prescription
drugs
Overconsumption of caffeine
Technology addiction (beyond phones and social media)
Emotional eating
Approval from authority figure addiction
Fixation on past mistakes
Attention-seeking behavior
Fear of failure
Excessive need for control
Obsessive-compulsive behaviors
Information overload addiction
Sleep deprivation addiction
Constant seeking of external validation
Worrying about the future
Material possession addiction
Mindless television watching
Chronic indecisiveness
Resentment addiction
Seeking adrenaline rushes
Social comparison addiction
Perpetual victimhood
Emotional avoidance
Fear of intimacy
Seeking perfection in appearance
Gossip addiction
Rumination o past events
Attention-seeking through illness
Dependency on prescription medications
Excessive gaming addiction
Overcommitting to obligations
Hoarding addiction
Attention-seeking through self-victimization
Impulsive spending addiction
Seeking constant novelty
Dependency on energy drinks
Constantly seeking reassurance
Extreme risk-taking behavior
Compulsive lying
Internet forum addiction
Excessive apologizing
Fear of confrontation
Chronic self-doubt
Overconsumption of energy drinks
Seeking external validation through achievements
Excessive focus on physical appearance
Hoarding or clutter - on your computer
Endless pursuit of knowledge without application
Sleep addiction
Constantly seeking reassurance from others
Fantasy addiction (escaping into a fictional world)
Overconsumption of news and information
Impulsive tattooing or body modification
addiction
Extreme minimalism addiction
Chronic self-blame
Compulsive apologizing for minor things
Extreme environmental activism addiction
Endless pursuit of adrenaline-inducing activities
Compulsive volunteering to escape personal issues
Overcommitment to charitable causes
Fear of commitment in relationships
Relentless need for external validation in relationships
Escaping through excessive daydreaming
Overconsumption of self-help materials without action
Perpetual nostalgia addiction
Serial monogamy addiction
Virtual relationship addiction (online f )
Overreliance on external authorities for decision-making
Compulsive list-making or organization addiction
Fear of vulnerability
Overconsumption of self-improvement seminars/workshops
Perpetual dissatisfaction with present circumstances
Overidentifying with labels or groups
Chronic comparison with others' achievements
Incessant need for control over others
Compulsive risk avoidance
Emotional hoarding
Seeking constant reassurance from others
Fantasy addiction (escaping into a fictional world)
Overconsumption of information
Impulsive tattooing or body modification
addiction
Extreme minimalism addiction
Chronic self-blame
Compulsive apologizing for minor things
Approval-seeking addiction
Codependency
Validation from others' addiction
Association with famous or well-known
people with addiction
Gossiping addiction
Addiction to dominating others/things
Addiction to being right
Uncoachable
Scarcity addiction
Anger addiction
Fear addiction
Anxiety addiction
Depression addiction
Procrastination addiction
Unwillingness to learn addiction
Emotionally numb
Not caring for yourself
Not caring for others
Unwilling to look at yourself and your actions
Unable to see your impact on others
Blame addiction
Starting everything, finishing nothing
Ridgid in beliefs
Unhappy addiction
Stress addiction
Being Sick addiction
Being Sarcastic addiction
Telling lies addiction
Over-inflating the truth addiction
(exaggerating)
Hyperactive addiction
Adrenalin rush addiction
Dangerous or risky behavior addiction
Self-harm addiction
Cleanliness addiction
Conspiracy theory addiction
TV/Movie watching addiction
Golf addiction
Judgement of others' addiction
Judgement of self addiction
Sarcasm addiction
Sadness addiction
What addictions do you have that are not listed here?
What we can say about addiction it that it has many layers. It's not always trauma that's under an addiction, it can be a fixed way of being that creates a negative outcome in your life and relationships. Taking a look at what addiction is under the addiction is a powerful thing to do given
Overcoming addiction, in all its diverse forms, is a profound journey toward self-love and personal evolution. From the overt struggles with substances to the more subtle battles within our thoughts and relationships, the path is both challenging and yet beautifully transformative
Recognizing these hidden addictions is the first step toward healing. It requires self-awareness, acceptance, and the courage to break free from destructive patterns The temporary relief provided by these behaviors gives way to the lasting consequences that sneak into our reality. It's a cycle that can only be broken through intentional, conscious efforts toward sustained well-being
The worthiness of this transformation cannot be overstated. The person who emerges from the crucible of addiction is not only conscious and aware but also powerful in their resilience and capacity for positive change. The journey is an investment in a future defined by genuine wellbeing, personal growth, and an authentic connection to one's highest self
Let's face it. Everyone has addictions. Some are more evident than others. Addictions have a purpose and the people who take the time to overcome them are the most incredible people to be around. They have self-awareness. They understand the impact their actions have on others and you. That's access to relationship success
The holistic journey to self-love involves recognizing, understanding, and overcoming the diverse forms of addiction that impact our lives. It's a call to upgrade ourselves, leading from our highest selves, and becoming more conscious, aware, and powerful than ever before. The struggles of addiction are undeniably challenging, but the quality of the person we become through overcoming them is undoubtedly worth the effort and allows us to find our purpose, passion, and selfexpression in this life. Recovery therefore answers the most important questions in life....
Who am I?
Why am I here?
In the face of mental health and addiction challenges, pursuing and surpassing goals may seem like an insurmountable task. However, with resilience, determination, and a strategic approach, it is possible to not only navigate but exceed your aspirations Here are 20 proven steps to guide you on your journey to success, even in the presence of mental health and addiction illness.
1 Seek Professional Support
Begin by seeking professional help. A qualified therapist or counselor can provide invaluable guidance, coping strategies, and a safe space to explore challenges and goals
2. Establish Realistic and Attainable Goals
Set goals that are realistic and achievable, considering the unique circumstances surrounding mental health and addiction Break larger goals into smaller, manageable steps to build a sense of accomplishment.
3 Embrace a Holistic Approach to Health
Prioritize your overall well-being. Focus on maintaining a healthy lifestyle through proper nutrition, regular exercise, and sufficient sleep to support both physical and mental health.
4. Develop a Support System
Build a strong support network of friends, family, and peers who understand your challenges and are committed to encouraging your success
Share your goals with them for added accountability.
5 Utilize Therapeutic Techniques
Incorporate therapeutic techniques such as mindfulness, meditation, and breathing exercises into your daily routine. These practices can help manage stress, anxiety, and cravings.
6. Practice Self-Compassion
Be kind to yourself. Acknowledge that setbacks may occur and that recovery is a journey. Practice self-compassion to foster a positive mindset
7. Implement a Routine
Establish a structured daily routine. Predictability can provide stability and contribute to a sense of control, especially during challenging times
8. Focus on Incremental Progress
Celebrate small victories. Recognize and appreciate every step forward, regardless of how modest it may seem Each accomplishment is a testament to your resilience.
9. Create a Relapse Prevention Plan
For those facing addiction, develop a relapse prevention plan with the help of professionals. Identify triggers and implement strategies to navigate challenging situations without compromising progress.
10. Engage in Positive Distractions
When facing difficult moments, engage in positive distractions. Pursue activities you enjoy, whether it's a hobby, creative outlet, or spending time with loved ones
11. Set Boundaries
Establish healthy boundaries in both personal and professional relationships Clearly communicate your needs and prioritize activities that contribute positively to your mental health.
12 Attend Support Groups
Participate in support groups where you can connect with others facing similar challenges. Sharing experiences and learning from one another can be both empowering and enlightening
13. Develop Coping Strategies
Identify healthy coping strategies that work for you This could include journaling, art, music, or any activity that provides an outlet for expressing emotions.
14 Educate Yourself
Take the time to educate yourself about mental health and addiction. Understanding your conditions can empower you to make informed decisions and actively participate in your recovery
15. Cultivate a Positive Environment
Surround yourself with positivity. Minimize exposure to negative influences and create an environment that fosters growth, encouragement, and hope.
16. Embrace Flexibility
Recognize that progress may not always follow a linear path Be flexible and adaptable, adjusting your goals and strategies as needed without feeling discouraged.
17. Practice Gratitude
Cultivate a mindset of gratitude Regularly acknowledge the positive aspects of your life, fostering a sense of appreciation for the progress you've made.
18 Communicate Effectively
Develop effective communication skills. Express your needs, concerns, and successes openly with your support system, ensuring that they understand and can provide the necessary assistance
19. Celebrate Milestones
Celebrate significant milestones in your journey. Whether it's a month of sobriety or achieving a specific mental health goal, these moments deserve recognition and celebration.
20 Never Give Up
Above all, never give up Your journey may be challenging, but with perseverance, a strong support system, and these proven steps, you have the power to not only achieve your goals but exceed them, despite mental health and addiction challenges.
Remember, success is a personal journey, and your triumphs are a testament to your strength and resilience As you navigate this path, embrace the belief that you are capable of exceeding your goals and creating a fulfilling and meaningful life.
Always near
Tina Olivero - Founder, Guardians Of RecoveryEmbark on a transformative journey with Tina Olivero's "From Hyper to Happy" guided meditation This immersive experience offers a serene escape from the chaos of daily life, guiding you towards a state of profound calm and joy As you follow Tina's gentle guidance, you'll experience a deep sense of relaxation and renewal. Whether you're new to meditation or seeking to deepen your practice, "From Hyper to Happy" offers a profound opportunity for inner exploration and emotional balance. Let Tina Olivero be your compassionate guide on this journey towards a brighter, more peaceful state of being
In an ideal world, governments would prioritize and address the critical needs of individuals struggling with mental health and addiction challenges. Unfortunately, the reality is often different, with gaps and shortcomings in public policies If you find yourself in a situation where your government is not adequately addressing mental health and addictions, here are ten empowering actions you can take to support yourself and your community
1. Advocate for Change
Become a vocal advocate for improved mental health and addiction services. Attend community meetings, write letters to local representatives, and collaborate with like-minded individuals to raise awareness about the gaps in existing policies.
2 Create Local Support Networks
Establish local support networks within your community. Connect with mental health professionals, support groups, and community organizations to create a network of resources that can help fill the void left by insufficient government services.
3. Promote Mental Health Education
Take the initiative to promote mental health education within your community. Organize workshops, webinars, or awareness campaigns to educate others about the importance of mental health and addiction issues
4. Volunteer for Mental Health Organizations
Support existing mental health organizations by volunteering your time and skills. These organizations often play a crucial role in providing assistance and resources to those in need, and your contribution can make a meaningful impact.
5. Engage with Local Media
Work with local media outlets to shed light on the challenges faced by individuals dealing with mental health and addiction issues. Write op-eds, share personal stories, or participate in interviews to bring attention to the urgent need for improved government policies
6. Collaborate with Nonprofits
Collaborate with local or national nonprofit organizations focused on mental health and addiction support These organizations often work tirelessly to bridge gaps in services and can provide valuable resources for those in need.
7. Develop Community-Based Programs
Take the lead in developing community-based mental health and addiction programs. Whether it's support groups, counseling services, or outreach initiatives, local grassroots efforts can have a significant impact on the well-being of individuals.
8. Encourage Employer Support
Advocate for mental health and addiction support within workplaces Encourage employers to implement policies that prioritize employee wellbeing, including mental health days, counseling services, and awareness programs.
Explore collaborations with international organizations that focus on mental health and addiction. These organizations may offer insights, resources, and best practices that can be adapted to address gaps in your local community
In the absence of comprehensive government support, prioritize your own mental health and well-being Engage in self-care practices, seek support from friends and family, and consider joining or forming mutual support groups to share experiences and coping strategies.
While government policies play a crucial role in addressing societal issues, individuals can make a substantial impact by taking proactive measures to support mental health and addiction initiatives within their communities By advocating for change, creating networks, and fostering education, individuals can contribute to building a more compassionate and supportive environment for those facing mental health and addiction challenges.
Embark on a soul-enriching exploration with "WHY AM I HERE? Guided Meditation with Tina Olivero" on YouTube. In this transformative session, Tina Olivero gently guides you through a profound journey of self-discovery and purpose. Through soothing narration and tranquil visuals, immerse yourself in a reflective experience that invites clarity and inner peace. Discover your path and reconnect with your true essence in this empowering meditation. Join us on this meaningful journey toward understanding and fulfillment.
THE POWER OF THE POWER OF THE POWER OF TOLERANCE: TOLERANCE: TOLERANCE: NAVIGATING IT'S DUALITY NAVIGATING IT'S DUALITY NAVIGATING IT'S DUALITY
BYTINAOLIVERO BYTINAOLIVERO
In the intricate tapestry of life, the concept of tolerance presents itself on two distinct fronts
the human aspect, where tolerance is synonymous with empathy and understanding, and the circumstantial aspect, where tolerance means accepting conditions that either propel or hinder personal growth. Balancing these two facets is essential for cultivating a well-rounded and fulfilling existence
Tolerance towards people involves embracing diversity, respecting differing opinions, and fostering a sense of unity. This compassionate form of tolerance is rooted in acceptance and kindness. On the other hand, tolerance towards circumstances involves a more strategic approach a discerning acknowledgment of what serves our higher purpose and what obstructs it.
As you contemplate the principle of tolerance, it's crucial to examine your life from these dual perspectives. Consider the relationships you've cultivated, the environments you've navigated, and the personal boundaries you've set or tolerated
Recognizing the interplay between human tolerance and circumstantial tolerance provides valuable insights into the dynamics of your journey
Tolerance Towards People: In your interpersonal relationships, practicing tolerance means embracing diversity, appreciating different perspectives, and cultivating empathy. This form of tolerance fosters healthy connections and promotes a harmonious existence
Tolerance Towards Circumstances:
Evaluating your life's circumstances requires a different lens. Identify areas where you've tolerated situations that hinder personal growth, compromise well-being, or detract from your goals. This form of tolerance may necessitate setting boundaries and making conscious choices.
Recognizing Patterns:
Patterns often emerge when we analyze our responses to both people and circumstances. If you find yourself tolerating toxic relationships or settling for unfulfilling circumstances, it's essential to recognize these patterns and understand the impact they have on your overall well-being.
Active addiction often involves a series of tolerated behaviors and circumstances that can be detrimental to one's life
Here are ten examples:
Compromising Values: Tolerating actions that go against personal values or beliefs to feed the addiction.
1. Neglecting Relationships: Accepting the deterioration of relationships with family and friends due to substance abuse.
2 Health Deterioration: Tolerating the physical toll of addiction on the body and mind
3. Legal Consequences: Accepting the legal ramifications of engaging in illicit activities to sustain the addiction.
4 Financial Strain: Tolerating the financial burden of maintaining a substance abuse habit.
5. Job Loss: Accepting the risk of losing employment due to poor performance or absenteeism related to addiction
6. Isolation: Tolerating social isolation as the addiction takes precedence over social interactions.
7 Mental Health Decline: Accepting the negative impact of substance abuse on mental health without seeking help.
8. Risking Safety: Tolerating risky behaviors associated with substance abuse without considering potential harm.
10
9. Lack of Future Planning: Accepting a lack of vision for the future and tolerating the status quo without pursuing recovery.
Taking Ownership:
Navigating the complexities of tolerance reveals its dual nature one emphasizing human connection and understanding, and the other requiring discernment and strategic decisionmaking regarding life circumstances Striking a balance between these realms allows individuals to harness the power of tolerance, fostering a life where personal growth and healthy relationships flourish in harmony This journey acts as a powerful teaching ground, urging individuals to transcend, grow, and architect a new future. Addressing one aspect at a time, what was once tolerated fades away, paving the way for new possibilities
Consider tolerance as a transformative process, an opportunity to examine oneself, understand true power, and build a world that rejects anything undesirable Working on one aspect at a time, each day contributes to the dismantling of tolerances that hinder personal progress. The realm of possibilities that emerges is not only exciting but also a testament to the resilience of those who engage in the transformative work of self-discovery and growth.
People in recovery are often the most interesting individuals, having undertaken the work to examine and transform what they've been tolerating. Their commitment to evolving from addiction to recovery sets them apart, making them inspiring figures Those who engage in the transformative journey, addressing what has been tolerated and working towards positive change, emerge as heroes — a testament to the transformative power of intentional self-work.
REMEDIES FOR REMEDIES FOR REMEDIES FOR MANAGING MANAGING MANAGING LOSS AND GRIEF LOSS AND GRIEF LOSS AND GRIEF
In the tumultuous terrain of a devastating drug epidemic, families find themselves thrust into an intensely emotional journey. Here, the burdensome weight of worry and the persistent emptiness from the missing person, ensnared by addiction, converge in a harrowing reality Many confront the haunting prospect that today might be the day their loved one's battle with addiction takes a tragic turn, or the heart-wrenching blow of acknowledging that addiction has already claimed their beloved
For me, it was the latter – the loss of my son, Ben, to an overdose. Those I work with daily at Guardians Of Recovery, are still grappling with desperate searches for solutions for their loved ones battling addiction while striving to care for themselves. It demands "extreme self-care" just to navigate its challenges.
This guide dives into the profound emotional and physical toll that accompanies the fear of potential loss or the enduring pain of a departed loved one. These experiences pull at the very threads of family ties, leaving an indelible void
Yet, in the face of such heartaches, we provide not just an exploration of what you may endure but also practical remedies, hoping to shed light on your experiences and offer a path toward healing
We break it down. Where in your body to you experience grief? What does it feel like? What are some possible remedies that have worked for those with lived experience.
Heartache:
Location: Chest
Description: A heavy or aching feeling in the chest, often associated with emotional pain. It's colloquially referred to as a "broken heart "
Release Remedies:
Deep Breathing and Meditation: Practice deep, intentional breathing to center yourself Meditation can help ease the emotional burden on your chest. a.
Expressive Writing: Channel your feelings into words. Write about your emotions, addressing the pain you feel in your chest b.
Creative Outlets: Engage in creative activities like art or music to express and release the emotions stored in your chest c.
Butterflies or Tightness:
Location: Stomach
Description: A fluttering sensation or tightness in the stomach, often indicative of anxiety, longing, or nervousness.
Release Remedies:
a
Gentle Exercise: Incorporate light exercises like yoga or walking to alleviate tension in the stomach.
Herbal Teas: Chamomile or peppermint teas can have calming effects on the stomach Enjoy a warm cup to soothe discomfort. b.
Mindful Eating: Pay attention to your body's signals during meals. Practice mindful eating to reduce stress-related stomach issues c.
Empty or Hollow Feeling:
Location: Core or Abdomen
Description: A sense of emptiness or hollowness in the center of the body, as if a part is missing or hollowed out
Release Remedies:
a.
Self-Reflection: Explore your emotions through self-reflection. Understand the source of emptiness and work towards filling it with positive affirmations.
b.
Connect with Support Groups: Share your feelings with others who understand your experience. Connecting with support groups can help alleviate the sense of hollowness.
c.
Engage in Hobbies: Pursue activities you are passionate about. Engaging in hobbies can fill the void and bring a sense of fulfillment
Throat Lump or Choking Sensation:
Location: Throat
Description: A feeling of a lump in the throat or a tightness, as if emotions are welling up and inhibiting speech.
Release Remedies:
Hydration: Keep yourself well-hydrated
a Gargling with Salt Water: Gargle with warm saltwater to soothe the throat and release tension.
c.
Sipping warm water or herbal teas can alleviate throat tightness.
b. Voice Exercises: Practice gentle vocal exercises to release tension and improve throat muscle control It may be time for singing lessons
Heaviness in Limbs:
Location: Arms and Legs
Description: A sense of heaviness or lethargy in the limbs, making movement and daily activities feel burdensome
Release Remedies:
a.
Stretching Exercises: Incorporate daily stretching routines to improve blood circulation and relieve heaviness in the limbs.
b.
Massage or Self-Massage: Treat yourself to a massage or practice selfmassage to release tension and promote relaxation
c.
Warm Baths: Soak in a warm bath with Epsom salts to ease muscle tension and alleviate the sense of heaviness.
Headache or Migraine:
Location: Head
Description: Emotional stress and longing can sometimes trigger headaches or migraines, expressing the mental toll of missing someone.
Release Remedies:
a
Rest in a Dark Room: Find a quiet, dark space to rest and alleviate headache symptoms.
c.
b. Aromatherapy: Use calming scents like lavender or peppermint to ease headache symptoms.
Hydration: Dehydration can contribute to headaches. Ensure you're adequately hydrated
or Weakness:
Location: Overall Body
Description: An overall sense of tiredness or weakness, stemming from the emotional exhaustion of longing for someone.
Release Remedies:
a.
Adequate Sleep: Prioritize quality sleep to restore energy levels and combat fatigue.
Tension or Pain in Back and Shoulders:
Location: Back and Shoulders
Description: Muscular tension or pain in the back and shoulders, often a physical response to the emotional weight of missing someone
Release Remedies:
a.
c.
b Gentle Exercise: Incorporate light exercises like walking or yoga to boost energy levels
Balanced Nutrition: Ensure your diet includes a balance of nutrients to support overall well-being.
Insomnia or Disturbed Sleep:
Location: Whole Body
Description: Sleep disruptions, such as insomnia or restless nights, can be physical manifestations of emotional distress and missing someone.
Release Remedies:
b
Posture Awareness: Maintain good posture to alleviate tension in the back and shoulders
Heat Therapy: Apply heat packs or take warm baths to relax tense muscles.
c.
Professional Massage: Consider professional massage therapy to target specific areas of tension
Clenching of Fists or Jaw:
Location: Hands and Jaw
Description: Unconscious clenching of fists or jaw, reflecting the inner tension and longing.
Release Remedies:
a
b.
a. Limit Screen Time: Reduce exposure to screens before bedtime to improve sleep quality.
c.
Establish a Bedtime Routine: Create a calming bedtime routine to signal to your body that it's time to unwind.
Herbal Supplements: Consult with a healthcare professional about herbal supplements like valerian root or chamomile for better sleep Melatonin has proven to be a powerful sleep aid.
Jaw Exercises: Practice gentle jaw exercises to release tension. Singing exercises also work.
b.
Mindfulness Techniques: Engage in mindfulness practices to become aware of and release clenched fists or jaw
Listen to a guided meditation for releasing stress through "body scan".
You tube has a lot of these.
c
Stress Balls or Hand Exercises: Use stress balls or perform hand exercises to alleviate tension in the hands.
Understanding the physical toll of longing for families dealing with addiction is crucial These release remedies offer practical approaches to managing the physical manifestations of emotional distress. This article is not a substitute for doctors advice, however, as families navigate this challenging journey, they can find strength, empathy, and support by addressing both their emotional and physical well-being. Use this guide to identify your body pains, find out where they may be originating from, and implement some of the release remedies
It's my hope that this guide will allow you to navigate the rough waters of losing a loved one to addiction and find quick and easy remedies that lessen your pain.
Always near, Tina (Ben's mom)
Losing a loved one to the merciless grip of drug addiction, particularly when it involves opioids and fentanyl, is an experience that can shatter the soul into a thousand pieces.
Grief becomes a tapestry of emotions, each thread pulling in a different direction, leaving the heart a tangled mess that can be complex and overwhelming.
Each person's journey through grief is unique, yet every single one of us has to experience grief and the loss of loved ones in our lives The only problem is we don't talk about grief much, we aren't given many tools to handle grief, and it's so uncomfortable that we'd rather avoid it than make it an experience we need to master.
For me, the agony of grief began long before I had to say goodbye to my beautiful, smart, redheaded, 6'6" tall, son, Ben Olivero, at the tender age of 20 My grief started when I first saw the signs of a drug-induced transformation in his personality, which happened as soon as he first experimented with Cannabis.
Ben's vibrant, smart, and insightful personality was gradually consumed by pot. That doesn't happen to most people but these days, the pot on the market both legally and illegally is so strong that one 1 in 6 teens will get Cannabis Use Disorder For Ben, pot was lethal, his mind hijacked, as he descended into the abyss of substance abuse. Watching it unfold and progress from pot to shatter, to cocaine, to crack, to pills, to opioids It was the hardest thing I ever had to live through. I can't even imagine how hard it was for him. He didn't want to be that way, he didn't choose addiction, it was genetic and pot had that effect in just about every firstborn, male in our family That genetic pre-disposition was destined and there was nothing I could do to save him from that unstoppable force.
Addiction is relentless; it's like a speeding freight train, an unstoppable fate that drags its victims deeper into the uncontrollable dark hole that becomes all-consuming.
You have to live with seeing your child, your flesh and blood, trapped within the prison of their own mind, and you're left helplessly pounding on the cell door to help them get free It's a nightmare I learned that what was going on in Ben's outer world, was a reflection of his inner world. When he was in jail, he was in jail in his mind. When he was in shelters, he was homeless to himself
When Ben's suffering came to an end with his tragic overdose, I found myself engulfed by a paradox of mixed emotions Relief, that my Ben was no longer enduring the hellish suffering of addiction and all the pain and torture that comes with it. Grief, for every lost moment, for all the chances we'd never get. Anger, at a world that had let us down, at a system that had failed to protect its youth. Disappointment, that society had allowed this illicit drug epidemic to ravage our communities. Furious with the pharmaceutical companies and doctors for endorsing and distributing these drugs
After Ben's funeral, things got quiet, there weren't so many people around. Alone at home, my journey through this immense loss took me to the darkest of places, where I had no other choice but to face my own sorrow and in many ways my own self-pity.
It was a path that quickly spiraled into many physical symptoms, confusion, memory loss, depression, and anger, as I focused on the unfairness of life. However, I soon realized that this approach to Ben's death was futile, an unyielding descent into hopelessness was not going to be my fate because if it was, I'd be dead myself in the not-too-distant future.
It was through this deepest darkest rabbit hole that I found the strength to transform my pain into a catalyst for change. As I delved into the systemic flaws that had allowed Ben's tragedy to unfold, my frustration ignited. I started to speak out about all the issues that my heart was calling to say. Soon I realized that it wasn't only me going through this. There were hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of parents in our province dealing with the exact same thing I found solace in knowing that I wasn't alone; every parent I spoke to shared a hauntingly similar story.
As I take this massive journey of loss, I'm learning a few things about mourning and grief First and foremost, sitting at home and feeling sorry for myself made me depressed and even more angry.
1 Taking Action: Helping others helps me to focus on what's not working and making changes in our system.
2. Similar Experiences: Connecting with others who had the same experience helped me feel less alone
3. Mastering Emotions: Learning about my grief and mastering my emotions, is the only things that got me through it.
The pain and anger I felt after Ben's tragedy was so intense that I feared they might consume me if I didn't channel them into something meaningful Addressing the root issues of addiction with unwavering determination was a better path for my own grief recovery. The results of transforming pain into purpose have been nothing short of remarkable
Rallying Concerned Citizens: Just after Ben died we rallied the government Confederation Building in St. John's Newfoundland and burst the silent bubble on the mental health and addiction crisis in our province. 100+ people gathered at the Confederation Building to protest the horrific events of kids dying because of loopholes in the medical, housing, shelter, and judicial systems that are enabling the demise of our people with Mental Health and Addiction illness. While it was a peaceful protest, it was clear, there was nothing peaceful about our lives and the fallout of addiction for our loved ones That rally was the beginning...
We built a group called Ben's Law - The HUMAN RIGHT to live addiction-free - where 4,700 concerned citizens on Facebook are addressing the pressing challenges, gaps, and solutions for our mental health, addiction, and homelessness crisis in Newfoundland and Labrador and indeed the rest of Canada.
Support for Families: We established a weekly support group for families with loved ones battling addiction, fostering unity and understanding while working on life-saving solutions. Join us every Sunday at 3:00 p.m. at The Lantern. Soon to be LIVE online! Stand by on that one.
Foundation for Positive Change: We officially incorporated a foundation to support adult programs and develop sober living homes and communities We worked to develop the branding, are now incorporated, and are working on our charitable status. The website is designed and according to "Go Daddy" staff, it's the best website they've ever seen developed on their platform! Check it outwww.GuardiansOfRecovery.Foundation
Information Hub: Our new website is designed to provide a comprehensive resource of awareness posters, and blogs on mental health and addiction issues, that bring a deeper understanding of addiction, and ultimately a place for our family members, those in addiction, experience patrons and the medical community, to bring forward the latest information on mental health and addiction. We are also offering opportunities for involvement and volunteering. Check it out at https://guardiansofrecovery foundation/
We've worked to bring awareness to the inhumane conditions of shelters for those with mental health and addictions. We have brought to light what's truly going on in shelters and how they are exacerbating the MHA crisis rather than helping it. Not all shelters are inhumane and unsafe but many are. That's why we have an emerging tent community. They would rather live in tents in the cold than in unsafe shelters. We are focused on creating SHELTER STANDARDS that support RECOVERY with Mental Health and Addictions
Keeping the Homeless Warm: Volunteers of the Ben's Law group graciously organized the inaugural WARM event at Ben's Park, providing warmth and essentials to the homeless this winter. Tents, coats, supplies, and much more made a difference for 31 homeless individuals in downtown areas. We also sent 40 bags of winter supplies to the Gathering Place and supported all those who needed things at Tent City
RECOVERY REVOLUTION - A CONCERT OF TRUTH
Upcoming Highlight: We're currently working on a groundbreaking event – the FIRST RECOVERY REVOLUTION. Ben's Benefit is set to remove the stigma from addiction, shedding light on the brain disease of addiction We're making SOBER LIFE COOL by having musicians share their recovery journeys and experiences with loved ones facing addiction. Join us on November 21st at Gower St. Church for an unforgettable event All proceeds go toward building our healing home sober living communities.
We're in the process of assembling our BOARD OF DIRECTORS, with members from the global community of the medical and science world, locally we will also bring in fundraising experts, and relevant community professionals who comprehend the challenges of mental health and addiction in our province. Do you have any recommendations? We value your input and would love to hear from you ALL THAT IN 12 WEEKS - Imagine where we will be in 5 years! I dream of sober living communities all over Canada.
I'm sharing my experience and learnings with you
In hopes that they may give you some insight and comfort, with your sad journey of loss as well. Know that I see you, I hear you, and I'm always near. Along with accomplishing positive things that shine the light on the illness of addiction, I had to do some "inner work" as I strived to understand the magnitude and range of my emotions Here's what I've learned:
Grief expert William Worden proposed a model that divides the mourning process into four tasks:
1. To accept the reality of the loss
2 Experience the pain of the loss
3 Adjust to the new environment without the lost person
4. Reinvest in the new reality while remembering the deceased.
These tasks do not need to occur in a specific order, and individuals may revisit them at various times. Let's explore each task in the context of losing a loved one to drug addiction Here are some of my findings with these tasks
The first task involves acknowledging that the loss is real and that there is no possibility of reuniting with the deceased loved one. For those who have lost a loved one to addiction, this can be particularly challenging, as they might have held onto hope for recovery I held onto that hope every day for 6 years. Then the day came that it was no longer an option.
Everything changed for me at that point Instead of chasing Ben all over the city, trying to help him survive, I had to shift to helping other moms who were going through the same challenge. I wanted to be that "someone" for parents, that I never had. So I became that
Here are some of the suggested actions that Willaim Worden proposed:
Talk or write about your feelings of loss, which is what I do in writing my blogs and sharing them with others. People share their stories on Ben's Law Group page as well. Feel free to express yourself there too Doing so anonymously is an option as well.
Visit the gravesite or a place connected to the deceased. Because Ben's death was in a public park, that park quickly became a symbol of our tragic drug epidemic People left flowers, parents brought their kids as an important teaching moment about drugs, addicts showed up to reflect and learn, and parents came to share the experience It's been beautiful in so many ways. I feel Ben's presence there.
Begin the process of sorting through their belongings For me this was tough, but I got through it by giving Ben's things to other people in addiction who really desperately needed those things. Somehow that lessened the pain.
Seek support through grief counseling or bereavement groups. I have two grief counselors. Professionals who specialize in addiction and they give me resources like the teachings of William Worden and others.
That's a welcome support There will be a lot of people telling you what you should and shouldn't be doing with your grief.
Lost to mental illness and addiction July 29, 2023
Forever in our hearts!
BEN OLIVERO
Personally, I found that very annoying What helps is just working with my bereavement counselors and sharing my journey.
Grieving individuals often experience physical and emotional pain. To process this pain, it's crucial to confront and navigate the pain rather than avoid it, drink it, do drugs to cover it up, eat it, smoke it, or do any other diverting behaviors
Suggested actions:
Reflect on the emotions arising from your grief. At the moment. As they arise. Be the observer of them rather than reactionary to them. Go inside those emotions and ask, what do they have for you? What are they there to show you? What are they there to teach you? What is their purpose?
Learn to experience and express your feelings safely. Speak with people who honor your process People who want to listen rather than fix it. People who provide a safe place rather than judgment. Often people will feel so uncomfortable with your pain that they will start picking out things you should or shouldn't be doing That's about them Not about you. You do you!
Consider what might be hindering your ability to confront these emotions if you ca not claim them, process them, explain them, or express them. Sometimes confronting emotions is too painful and too uncomfortable. This is a sign that it's time to work through them rather than avoid them. What's in the way, is the way Surround yourself with people who are processing their emotions and professionals who can support you in doing so!
For me, I'm naturally expressive in written form That's been a savior Journalling helps too!
The loss of a loved one can significantly impact one's daily life and roles. Those left behind must adapt to a new environment and redefine their identity I spent every day worried about Ben, looking for Ben, providing food and clothes for Ben. It was an all-consuming race against the inevitable. When Ben died there was a huge void. I didn't know what to do with myself.
Questions to consider:
How have your responsibilities and roles changed? What would you now like to do or accomplish?
Who are you becoming in the absence of your loved one? For me, that was the support person going through what I experienced. How has your view of the world been altered, and what skills do you need to adapt to these changes? I still keep learning about addiction and helping others. It now feels like my destiny The pains of my past have become the purpose of my future
Task IV: Reinvest in the New Reality While Remembering the Deceased
According to William Worden, the final task is about finding ways to remember the deceased loved one while continuing with life. It involves creating an appropriate place for the memory of the loved one, allowing space for new relationships and experiences to develop.
How can you honor and celebrate the memory of your loved one without hindering your ability to move forward? I created Ben's Benefit: A Recovery Revolution where we honored his life, shone a light on the illness of addiction, and had other artists in recovery share their stories. Truthfully I think we should create a national holiday in honour of our fallen loved ones to addiction It should be a time of remembrance, education, and resolution.
What would your loved one want for you now? Ben always told me to stop worrying about him and to live my "best life." Truthfully, I know he'd be embarrassed by all the attention I have brought to him and his life. But I also know that he'd be proud We are proud that we are helping others with the unexplainable tragedy of addiction. In fact, I feel all of this is Ben working through me. What do you want for yourself moving forward? I see sober living homes, communities, and lifestyles. I've committed myself as a substance-free person and I am to show people it's not only possible but it's the best life path to take Once substancefree, anything is truly possible I want to create a culture of being free.... drug-free.
Losing a loved one to drug addiction is a profound and painful experience The grieving process can be complex, involving these four tasks outlined above. I hope they are helpful in healing and assisting you in finding a way to continue on with your life while cherishing the memories of your loved one
Ben was a great love in my life and he remains that forever He's been my greatest teacher of understanding, unconditional love, addiction, and mental health illness. He's given me the strength of steel and the compassion of an angel.
My journey is my own. It's individual. Grief is a unique journey for each of us and there is no fixed timeline for completing the pathway and tasks I spoke about here My journey may provide you with some insight, relief, or ideas Do whatever works for you!
Seek support from professional grief therapists, and allow yourself to progress at your own pace Ultimately, healing involves finding a balance between holding on to cherished memories and embracing the new reality without your loved one.
Know this I am with you all the way and I remain a Guardian Of Recovery. Reach out any time.
Tina Olivero - Founder, Guardians Of RecoveryBen's mom
EMBRACING YOUR EMBRACING YOUR EMBRACING YOUR
HIGHER SELF: JOURNEY OF HIGHER SELF: JOURNEY OF HIGHER SELF: JOURNEY OF
SELF-DISCOVERY & ADDICTION
SELF-DISCOVERY & ADDICTION
SELF-DISCOVERY & ADDICTION
BYTINAOLIVERO BYTINAOLIVEROfor something real and raw?
is
As we embark on this exploration, let's dive deep into the depths of our psyche, where the ego and the higher self engage in a dynamic dance of resistance and surrender, shaping our experiences and influencing our choices.
Picture, if you will, the ego as that familiar voice within us that craves control, validation, and instant gratification. It's the part of us that fears vulnerability, clings to familiar patterns, and perpetuates cycles of denial and self-sabotage.
This ego is not our enemy but rather a teacher on our journey toward self-awareness and spiritual growth. It’s a really powerful journey to take. It leads us to the most interesting places…. The heart, the intuition, the intention, the inner world
In stark contrast, our higher self radiates authenticity, compassion, and inner wisdom. It embodies love, courage, and connection to the divine, guiding us toward wholeness and fulfillment. The higher self calls and calls. No matter where you go, there it is asking for you to rise. Resistance to it is futile…and creates enormous suffering and often illness. The higher self invites us to embrace change, surrender to the flow of life, and awaken to our true highest potential.
Let's delve into some examples of how the ego and higher self manifest in the realm of addiction recovery:
a.
The ego adamantly denies the severity of addiction, rationalizing behavior and minimizing consequences, while the higher self seeks to accept the reality of the situation and take responsibility for healing.
Control vs. Surrender:
The ego insists on maintaining control over addictive impulses and outcomes, resisting surrender to the process of recovery, while the higher self embraces surrender as a pathway to freedom and healing. a.
Isolation vs Connection:
The ego thrives on isolation, believing that seeking help or connecting with others in recovery is a sign of weakness, while the higher self recognizes the importance of connection and support in the journey toward wholeness.
Shame vs. Compassion:
a
The ego fuels shame and self-criticism, viewing addiction as a personal failure, while the higher self offers compassion and understanding, recognizing addiction as a symptom of underlying pain and trauma
Fear vs. Courage:
The ego operates from a place of fear, avoiding discomfort and change, while the higher self summons the courage to face fears and embrace the unknown in pursuit of growth and healing. a.
a.
The ego seeks instant gratification through addictive behaviors, prioritizing short-term pleasure over long-term fulfillment and well-being, while the higher self values patience and resilience in the pursuit of lasting happiness.
Blame vs. Accountability:
a
The ego deflects responsibility and blames external factors for addictive behavior, avoiding accountability, while the higher self takes ownership of actions and choices, acknowledging the power of personal accountability in the journey of recovery.
Judgment vs. Forgiveness:
a
The ego judges oneself and others harshly for past mistakes and relapses, perpetuating cycles of guilt and selfcondemnation, while the higher self practices forgiveness and selfcompassion, understanding that healing is a gradual and imperfect process.
Resistance vs. Adaptability:
a
The ego resists change and clings to familiar patterns of addiction, fearing the unknown, while the higher self embraces adaptability and openness to new experiences and perspectives in the pursuit of growth and transformation
a
The ego adopts a victim mentality, feeling powerless to overcome addiction and blaming external circumstances for lack of progress, while the higher self embodies empowerment, recognizing inner strength and resilience as keys to reclaiming agency and control over one's life.
As we navigate the complexities of addiction recovery, it is essential to cultivate a relationship with our higher self a relationship built on selfawareness, self-compassion, and a willingness to embrace change Let us practice mindfulness, cultivate gratitude, and surround ourselves with love and support as we embark on this profound journey of self-discovery and healing.
Everyone has an addiction It’s the very essence of what it is to be a human being. So you are not alone on this journey. There is a vast reservoir of strength, wisdom, and love within you, waiting to be tapped into. Embrace your higher self and let it guide you toward a life of joy, purpose, and wholeness. For in the embrace of our higher selves lies the true essence of our being the essence of love, light, and infinite possibility.
Recovery then is not a concept, it is an actionable verb. A destination from the ego to the higher self that allows us to clearly see who we are and who we are not. This all has a purpose. The purpose is to answer the most profound question of all….Who am I and why am I here!
LOW-BARRIER
In the ongoing battle against addiction and homelessness, low-barrier shelters and safe supply initiatives have emerged as seemingly compassionate solutions. Intended to provide refuge and support to some of society's most vulnerable individuals, these programs often come with unintended consequences that perpetuate cycles of addiction and harm.
As guardians of recovery, it's crucial to recognize how these initiatives enable addiction and further cause harm to both individuals and communities.
Normalization of Substance Use: Low-barrier shelters, by their nature, accept individuals regardless of their substance use While this may seem compassionate, it also normalizes drug and alcohol consumption, making it more difficult for residents to confront their addictions. It also creates a barrier for those who want complete sobriety, to be able to achieve it in the low-barrier shelter.
Lack of Accountability: With fewer restrictions on substance use, residents of low-barrier shelters may feel less compelled to address their addiction or seek help. This lack of accountability can prolong cycles of dependency and hinder recovery efforts. A culture of drug use, can and often does perpetuate more drug use
Social Reinforcement: In environments where substance use is prevalent and accepted, residents may feel social pressure to engage in drug or alcohol use, further entrenching addictive behaviors, even for those who were not using those drugs before. For example, a person with Cannabis Use Disorder may inadvertently be exposed to coke, crack, shatter, and opioids and start doing them in low-barrier shelters
Without clear guidelines and support for addressing addiction, low-barrier shelters may miss crucial opportunities to connect residents with treatment and support services. Where is the exit strategy to recovery?
Cycle of Dependency: Continual access to shelter services regardless of substance use can foster a sense of dependency on these programs, making it harder for individuals to break free from addictive patterns in an enabled drug-use environment.
Undermining Recovery Efforts: By providing a safety net for ongoing substance use, lowbarrier shelters may inadvertently undermine the efforts of those striving for sobriety, making it harder for them to maintain their recovery
Health Risks: Unrestricted substance use within shelter environments increases the risk of overdose, transmission of infectious diseases, and exacerbation of physical and mental health issues. While it is said that safe supply precisely addresses this, there is no evidence to suggest that the opposite is also true. Unrestricted substance use and safe supplies can also perpetuate drug use which exacerbates physical and mental health issues
Perpetuation of Homelessness: Rather than addressing the root causes of homelessness and addiction, low-barrier shelters may perpetuate these issues by providing temporary relief without comprehensive support for long-term stability.
Impact on Community Well-being: The presence of low-barrier shelters in communities can lead to increased crime, disorder, and strain on local resources, affecting the well-being of residents and businesses. We see this with increased random attacks, public assaults, thefts in cars, thefts in businesses, and drug paraphernalia littering streets, parks, and shelter locations.
Stigmatization: Low-barrier shelters may further stigmatize individuals struggling with addiction, reinforcing negative stereotypes and barriers to accessing mainstream support services.
How Safe Supply Initiatives Create
to Individual and Community:
Normalization of Substance Use: Providing a safe supply of drugs can normalize and even encourage ongoing drug use, detracting from efforts to promote abstinence and recovery.
Health Risks: Safe supply initiatives may lead to increased consumption and higher dosages of drugs, raising the risk of overdose, addiction, and adverse health outcomes.
Undermining Treatment Efforts: By focusing on managing substance use rather than addressing underlying addiction issues, safe supply initiatives may divert resources away from comprehensive treatment and support services
Dependency Issues: Regular access to supplied substances may foster dependency and reliance on the program, hindering individuals' ability to break free from addiction.
Missed Opportunities for Recovery: Safe supply initiatives may overlook opportunities to connect individuals with holistic treatment options, perpetuating cycles of addiction rather than promoting long-term recovery.
Ethical Concerns: Providing a safe supply of drugs raises ethical questions regarding informed consent, conflicts of interest, and the prioritization of harm reduction over efforts to address addiction at its root.
Potential for Abuse: Individuals may exploit safe supply initiatives without genuine intention to reduce harm or seek treatment, undermining the effectiveness of the program and perpetuating addiction.
Legal and Regulatory Challenges: Safe supply initiatives must navigate complex legal and regulatory landscapes, facing scrutiny from authorities and potential legal challenges, including the governments who fund them.
Social and Economic Costs: Enabling ongoing substance use through safe supply initiatives may lead to increased social and economic costs associated with substancerelated harm, including healthcare expenses, criminal justice involvement, and lost productivity
Impact on Community Safety: Safe supply initiatives may pose risks to community safety, as the presence of supplied substances can attract criminal activity and pose dangers to residents, particularly in neighborhoods already grappling with substance abuse issues.
Paying for Drugs and Alcohol: Paying for people's alcohol and drugs with taxpayers' money under the Managed Alcohol and Drug programs carries a multitude of harmful consequences. Firstly, it perpetuates a cycle of dependency on substances, hindering individuals' ability to break free from addiction and achieve long-term recovery. Moreover, it diverts public funds away from crucial initiatives aimed at addressing the root causes of addiction and providing comprehensive treatment and support services. This not only undermines efforts to promote public health and well-being but also exacerbates social and economic disparities by prioritizing short-term relief over sustainable solutions.
Additionally, it raises ethical concerns about the responsible allocation of taxpayer dollars, particularly when such expenditures may enable harmful behaviors and contribute to societal harm.
Ultimately, investing in evidence-based prevention, intervention, and recovery programs offers a more effective and compassionate approach to addressing substance abuse while safeguarding the interests of taxpayers and communities alike.
As Guardians of Recovery, it's essential to critically evaluate the unintended consequences of low-barrier shelters and safe supply initiatives While these programs may offer short-term relief, and in some cases may partially help individuals, they also often perpetuate cycles of addiction and harm, undermining efforts toward long-term recovery and community well-being.
Instead, we must advocate for comprehensive, evidence-based approaches that address the root causes of addiction and homelessness, providing individuals with the support and resources they need to reclaim their lives and thrive. This means on-demand access to detox and rehabilitation programs, early diagnosis of brain illnesses, early intervention to mitigate health risks, and providing sober living shelters, homes, and communities that include recovery programs within them Abstinence and “recovery” is the way forward and the long-term sustainable goal
= RECOVERY
SPACES = RECOVERY
= RECOVERY
Losing my son Ben Olivero to addiction was a shattering experience that forever changed my perspective on the complexities of drug policies and harm reduction strategies.
As I delve deeper into the debate surrounding safer supply initiatives, I carry with me the profound pain of his loss a pain that underscores the urgent need for a more nuanced and compassionate approach to addressing addiction
Reflecting on Ben's story within the context of "safer supply" initiatives, I am acutely aware of the stark realities that unfold when wellintentioned policies collide with the complexities of addiction on the ground.
It would be so easy to turn away and carry on with my life now that Ben is gone but I can't sit by and do nothing while other parents experience the hell that I went through. The stark reality is, that the culture of safe supply is not safe at all and it's not morally right to not speak up and make the change for all the other Ben's out there
My son's struggle with addiction was tragically emblematic of the challenges faced by many individuals caught in the grip of substance use disorder At the time of his passing, his body carried a cocktail of seven different substances, a haunting testament to the intersection of prescribed medications and illicit drugs within the context of his battle with addiction
Taking Suboxone with other drugs, I believe made him so messed up that he ultimately overdosed and his life was ended with a lethal drug mix including Fentanyl
The promise of a safer supply providing pharmaceutical-grade alternatives to illicit drugs initially seemed like a beacon of hope for those struggling with addiction, including my son. However, as his experience tragically demonstrated, the implementation of these programs is far from straightforward. Often they do more harm than good. And we can say that with certainty given the facts. Right now in Canada, the leading cause of death in our youth aged 10-19 is illicit drugs The numbers speak the truth.
The pervasive issue of endless prescribed drugs, the resale of free, addictive drugs on the illicit market emerges as a central theme in my exploration of safer supply. This phenomenon not only fuels the proliferation of opioids within communities but also perpetuates cycles of addiction, ultimately exacerbating the very problems these initiatives aim to alleviate.
Giving more drugs to people who have drug addiction is not the answer Take Portugal for example who is a world leader in recovery. Portugal has 64 therapeutic communities and zero consumption sites. British Columbia has zero therapeutic communities and 40-something drug consumption sites
In my investigative journey, I've encountered the voices of seasoned addiction experts who courageously challenge the narrative surrounding safer supply. These professionals, often risking professional backlash, have illuminated the troubling realities of diversion and the unintended consequences that accompany these policies. Their insights echo the lived experiences of individuals like my son, highlighting the urgent need for systemic reform.
As I navigate the complexities of this issue, I am acutely aware of the broader implications for families grappling with addiction. The pain of losing a loved one to substance use disorder is not just a personal tragedy it is a clarion call for policymakers, healthcare providers, and communities to confront the shortcomings of our current approaches to harm reduction.
In honoring my son's memory, I am committed to advocating for evidence-based interventions and compassionate policies that prioritize the wellbeing and recovery of individuals struggling with addiction. His story serves as a poignant reminder of the human toll of addiction and the imperative to forge a path forward that embraces empathy, accountability, and genuine harm reduction.
Ben is a constant reminder of the urgent need for meaningful change within our healthcare and addiction treatment systems.
Together, let us heed his legacy and work towards a future where stories of loss are met with resolve and action, ensuring that no family has to endure the heartache of losing a loved one to substance use disorder.
I just read the quote, "If the opposite of addiction is a connection, then give us sober spaces to connect". I firmly and fundamentally believe this is the ultimate solution We need sober living homes, towns, and communities We need a culture shift.
As the Founder of Guardians of Recovery, I and the 5100 members of our group plan to do exactly that. You too can connect with us in sobriety and change the foundational understanding that connection and sober spaces are the answer to this drug crisis
BY CHARMAINE ANSTEY BY CHARMAINE BY ANSTEY
As I sit here, pen in hand, the memories flood back like a torrential downpour, each drop a testament to the journey I've traveled alongside my son, Jeff. My name is Charmaine Anstey, and this is our story
It all began so innocently, with a bright-eyed boy named Jeff, whose laughter filled our home like sunshine on a cloudy day. But as he grew, so did the shadows that lurked within his mind At the tender age of 10, the first cracks appeared in his armour, his struggles in school revealing the beast that lay dormant within him – attention deficit disorder (ADD)
I stood by his side through every diagnosis, every prescription, hoping to shield him from the storms that raged within. Little did I know that the very medication meant to ease his burden would become the anchor that dragged him into the abyss of addiction.
As Jeff traversed the tumultuous terrain of adolescence, his peers, oblivious to the monster they unwittingly unleashed, led him down a treacherous path paved with promises of euphoria. What began as a means of coping soon spiralled into a desperate dance with addiction, a dance that ensnared my precious son in its unforgiving embrace.
My heart shattered with each passing day, each missed opportunity to pull him back from the brink. I watched helplessly as Jeff's once-bright future dimmed, eclipsed by the shadows that threatened to consume him whole.
Despite my best efforts, I found myself standing on the precipice of despair, grappling with the agonizing truth that I couldn't save him from his demons.
In the depths of my despair, I reached out to the Guardians of Recovery Foundation, a beacon of hope amidst the darkness that threatened to engulf us. Within the sanctuary of their walls, I found solace among kindred spirits, fellow travelers on the arduous road to redemption.
Together, we shared our stories, our struggles, and our triumphs, finding strength in vulnerability and solidarity in shared experiences.
Amidst the chaos of Jeff's battle, I discovered a newfound passion, a melody of hope woven through the strings of a guitar. With the unwavering support of the Guardians, I embarked on a journey of self-discovery, finding solace in the healing power of music
Yet, as the years marched on, Jeff's struggles only deepened, his body ravaged by the toll of addiction. COPD and asthma became unwelcome companions, casting a pall over his once-vibrant spirit. And though my heart ached with the hope that one day, he would find his way back into the light, I knew that the road ahead would be fraught with challenges
But amidst the storms that rage around us, one thing remains certain – my love for Jeff knows no bounds. And though the journey may be long and arduous, I will continue to stand by his side, a steadfast guardian of recovery, a beacon of hope amidst the darkness. For where there is love, there is always hope, and in that hope, I find the strength to carry on
Join host Tina Olivero in a live-streamed podcast event as she delves into the critical mission of Breakpoint - Communities for Public Safety. Together with Denise Boudreau, leader of Breakpoint, they explore the urgent need to end the fallout of the opioid crisis and address the national public safety crisis in Canada.
From reclaiming our social safety net to protecting the fundamental rights of children from potentially fatal drugs, this podcast sheds light on the essential work being done to create safer communities. Tune in to gain valuable insights and join the conversation on reclaiming public safety for all
B O O K R E L E A S E
When addiction invades a family, it brings chaos and deep emotional turmoil, especially when it is your child who is struggling. In “My Child Is An Addict: Navigating Through Your Child’s Addiction,” Stephen L Randell offers a poignant and essential guide for parents facing this heartwrenching situation Drawing from personal experience and professional insights, this book acts not just as a guide but as a vital lifeline.
Through compelling stories and firsthand lessons, Stephen offers practical advice and emotional support designed to help parents navigate their child’s addiction while maintaining their own wellbeing. This book addresses the intense challenges faced by families, providing strategies for coping and reclaiming a meaningful life amidst the trials of addiction.
Stephen L Randell is a respected business leader, speaker, and author known for his deep-rooted compassion and dedication to helping families overcome the challenges of addiction. His career spans various roles from a Real Estate Broker and Investor to a Sales & Business Development executive in Luxury Retirement Communities. Stephen combines his professional expertise and personal experiences to deliver insights that transform challenges into hope and survival into active, fulfilling living
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Website: www.stephenlrandell.com
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Embrace the journey towards healing and empowerment Stephen Randell's “My Child Is An Addict: Navigating Through Your Child’s Addiction” is more than a book; it’s a companion for those darkest days and a beacon of hope for the future. Get your copy today and find the support you need to face addiction with courage and love. Available exclusively at www.stephenlrandell.com
As I sit down to share my heart with you, I hope this blog brings you comfort, freedom, and ease. My name is Tina Olivero, and I've been where you are. Feeling guilt.
I've lived through the shadows, lost in the labyrinth of guilt as my son battled addiction. Today, I want to talk to you about something that many mothers out there might be feeling – the weight of guilt. It's a journey that's both personal and collective, and I hope that by sharing my story, we can find solace, understanding, and the strength to navigate these challenging waters.
Guilt is a companion, an unwelcome guest that creeps into our hearts, leaving an indelible mark on our souls It's woven into the fabric of parenthood, especially when your child is entangled in the grip of addiction. The struggle intensifies as mothers grapple not just with internal judgments but also with the external scrutiny of a society too quick to assign blame
In the essence of guilt, I've found wisdom, resilience, and the understanding that it's both a powerful motivator for change and an unnecessary burden that we, as mothers, often carry. So, let's delve into the heart of the matter, exploring the top 9 guilty feelings a mother may experience when their child is in the throes of addiction
1. Failure to Recognize Early Signs:
Guilt weighs heavy when we reflect on missed signs. We ask ourselves if earlier intervention could have changed the course. I spent years searching for answers, reading books, and exploring the latest in addiction research. I felt guilty each day for not knowing everything about addiction, or not knowing more about it, or not knowing all of it. It was a mind trip for sure. Maya Angelou's words guide us: "You are not your mistakes; you are not your struggles " And having lost my son Ben I can say with certainty to all the parents out there, whatever you learn is great and you don't have to know it all. You're doing amazing navigating a challenge that has made you one of the strongest people on earth.
2. Enabling Behavior:
We provide support with the best intentions for our kids, but it's easy to fall into the trap of enabling. Handing out money. Enabling addictive behaviors in the hope they will recover, I've done it all Eventually, I learned to order food for Ben rather than hand him money for food. I learned to bring him groceries rather than give him money. I learned to take him to Tim's for time together and a meal I learned to hang out with him at Value Village and have fun picking out clothes that if he lost, wouldn't trigger me. Forgiveness, as Oprah says, "is when you can say, 'Thank you for that experience '"
3. Believing Empty Promises:
Trusting and believing in our child's promises of change, only to witness relapses, evokes profound guilt. In my case, Ben had Anosognosia, which was even worse. He didn't acknowledge he was sick. He had no cause and effect. He didn't feel he had an issue and he was never going to give up pot, no matter what. Indeed the thing they refuse to give up is the issue. What's in the way, is the way. Yet, letting go of what Ben could or couldn't commit to was freedom for me When I simply accepted that he is the way he is because that's the way he is....I healed in that moment. Acceptance is golden. It is crucial, for as C.S. Lewis puts it, "Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point to move forward."
The delay in seeking professional help can haunt us. We ponder whether earlier intervention might have altered the trajectory. At the first sign of Ben smoking weed and losing his capacity to have cause and effect I took him straight to rehab at the age of 15. Yet I still felt guilty that I could have done something sooner, could have seen it sooner, could have changed things It was torturous thinking and unnecessary. Eleanor Roosevelt's words remind us: "You can't change what's happened, but you can change what you do next " And so I started changing my thoughts or "would have, should have, and could have" and changed them into, "I love you Ben." That worked best of all.
Addiction thrives in the dark. Only when we bring addiction into the light will our loved ones have a chance of recovery I had difficulty with this because choosing to normalize the struggles of addiction brought about guilt. Was I saying too much? Was that going to impact my kids? Was I doing more harm than good? I questioned whether being open and honest would inadvertently perpetuate the cycle of addiction. Once Ben passed away, I was an open book, shouting from the rooftops Truthfully I wish I'd done it sooner. I don't feel guilty for not doing it sooner, but I do believe it could have made a difference. It's essential to remember that our experiences in life are meant to be shared in a way that helps others Everyone speaking up about addiction will heal this thing.
Witnessing the impact of a sibling's addiction on other children in the family generates feelings of guilt. We wonder if we could have shielded them from the turmoil Ben had a twin sister and an older sister. I was always afraid and feeling guilty about how they would be impacted. I felt guilty about how much more time and focus I spent on Ben I felt guilty about the fact that I couldn't protect them from so much pain. But in the end, we can't protect our kids from their own journeys and destiny. All we can do is help them see that the pains of the past may lead them to the purpose of their future.
Applying tough love, though necessary, can bring about guilt. We question whether a more compassionate approach might have been more effective. I've learned that there's a big difference between tough love and strong boundaries. Tough love is not really my style. I believe our addicted kids need all the love we can give them. I also believe there's nothing wrong with saying, "My boundaries include, "no drugs or drug dealers in our home," and "No I'm not giving you money but I will give you love and we can go out for supper any day of the week."
Unconditional love rather than tough love felt better to me. Boundaries were also my savior and my own form of self-love. Ultimately all roads in addiction teach us and lead to love of others and love of ourselves.
8 Silence and Stigma:
The silence surrounding addiction, rooted in societal stigma, instills guilt for not breaking free from this silence sooner. I was worried about what people would think about our family because we had an addiction in our family. I was worried that we were the only ones going through this and people wouldn't really understand I felt guilty that Ben had broken the law and stole things for drugs That breaking into cars was something he did to get his fix. But when I shifted and I spent all my time understanding the brain illness of addiction, and learning more about how it impacts one in six people, that's when I broke free and started to talk openly about it all. Now I spend my days helping parents go through the exact same tragedy I experienced As Maya Angelou reminds us, "Your legacy is every life you touch." It's time to break the silence and shatter the stigma.
9 Self-Care Moments:
Taking moments for self-care can evoke guilt amid the chaos. We grapple with the idea of prioritizing our well-being Eleanor Roosevelt's wisdom echoes: "It is not selfish to love yourself, take care of yourself, and make your happiness a priority. It's necessary." Surviving the tragedy of having an addicted kid means you'll need extreme self-care just to make it That's no joke I did it by eating well, learning a lot, being involved in music, spending time with friends, working on great projects carrying on with life, and being there for Ben every step of the way.
I lost Ben to the tragic brain illness of addiction
Genetically predisposed, weed unlocked a 7-year torturous journey of one drug leading to another until Ben died of a Fentanyl overdose on July 29, 2023. Guilt is a powerful emotion, it will get you if you don't "get it", understand it, and learn to navigate it. I've done a lot of work to learn about guilt and process it along the way. Thank God I did because when Ben died I could have easily slipped down the deep dark rabbit hole of guilt and despair That's not what happened Instead, I built Guardians of Recovery and help people every day going through the same struggles.
As I reflect on these feelings, I invite you to understand that guilt, though a natural response, doesn't define us. It's time to let go of the unnecessary burden and embrace selfcompassion
Addiction is rampant in this world right now. It's high time we fostered an environment of empathy, understanding, and support as the call of the day Mothers and fathers navigating this journey deserve a collective embrace, acknowledging their resilience and strength. They are the heroes of our time. They do not deserve judgment and they sure as hell don't deserve guilt
On the other side of guilt is the ability to manifest new possibilities and new outcomes for life. Use all that time and effort that may have been spent on guilt, helping others, contributing, and creating a new world of sober living. Way over there beyond the confines of our society is a field of sober possibilities. I'll see you there!
Much love, Ben's mom
The heart-wrenching journey of loving someone trapped in drug addiction is a personal tragedy that many parents and loved ones, including myself, know all too well
My son, Ben, at the age of 15, became ensnared in the vicious cycle of substance abuse, starting with a weed addiction that later escalated into more dangerous drugs.
As his life unraveled into couch surfing, dangerous behaviors, and near-death experiences in the winter cold, the haunting question persisted within me: "Why doesn't he love me enough to change?"
Our story, like many others, is marked by the relentless battle against addiction, a harrowing struggle with anosognosia, and the profound impact of drug abuse on Ben's sense of self-love
Ben's spiral into drug addiction unfolded before my eyes, transforming the vibrant and promising young man I knew into a shadow of himself. He went from being an honors-with-distinction student to a drug-seeking missile.
Despite my unwavering love and support, the insidious nature of addiction seemed insurmountable. The question lingered: "Why doesn't he love me enough to change, even when faced with the pain his addiction inflicts?"
Mental health and addictions run rampant in our family. With 35 years of previous experience with our family's genetic makeup, which unleashed Bipolar, Alcoholism, and Schizophrenia, the fatal question played in my mind time and time again. "Why can't he just love me enough to change?"
I begged, pleaded, cried, bribed, negotiated, offered money, and did anything and everything to get Ben to change... to no avail. In Ben's world, he didn't have an illness, and no matter what, he'd never give up pot. He had little to no cause-andeffect He didn't have the brain capacity for consequences. It was hijacked and non-existent.
Frustration and Helplessness: The early days were marked by my frustration and helplessness as Ben resisted every attempt at intervention His addiction led to couch surfing, dangerous behaviors, and harrowing experiences.
Anguish and Heartbreak: Witnessing Ben's decline was a source of profound anguish and heartbreak for me. The moments we once shared became overshadowed by the pain of addiction many times. In the depths of my despair, I tried to understand but all I really wanted was for him to do the one thing he couldn't do... change!
Guilt and Self-Blame: There were countless nights of self-reflection, wondering if there was more I could have done The guilt and self-blame were unrelenting. The question echoed in my mind: "Will he die tonight? Is he safe? What can I do next? Why doesn't he love me enough to change, despite the love and support I've poured into his life?"
Finally, I put down the sword of expectation and began to accept the things I could not change That's when things got better for Ben and me
Through extensive 7-year research, I learned that Ben didn't choose to be this way. He had a neurological brain illness that genetically runs in our family. I didn't do anything. He didn't do anything. It simply was an illness we had to endure, just like any other illness, Cancer, or Dementia.
Through the eyes of a person with a brain illness addiction, I began to realize that Ben wasn't just in denial; he wasn't trying to be that way, he wasn't lazy, crazy, or selfish. Ben was sick.
Altered Perception: Ben's perception became distorted by the relentless pull of addiction. Despite the shattered relationships and the pain he inflicted, he couldn't break free from the substance's grip. It became clear that Ben's altered perception was a manifestation of his brain illness and nothing more. When I got that, I got free, and so did he
Loss of Control: The loss of control was palpable as Ben's life became a series of dangerous behaviors, near-death experiences, and living on the edge He witnessed two murders and found a man hanging on the side of his shelter. How does one come back from that? How does one cope? I realized that Ben's struggles extended far beyond the substance itself; it was a battle with highly addictive substances that were the only thing that made him feel "normal" in a deathly chaotic world.
Shame and Isolation: Anosognosia cast a heavy shadow over Ben, preventing him from acknowledging the severity of his addiction. Shame and isolation became constant companions, as he struggled to deal with the fallout of addiction Ben's resistance to help was deeply intertwined with his neurological makeup that was unlocked when he first started smoking weed, and he never came back from it.
Recognizing that addiction is a neurological brain illness brings us to the concept of anosognosia, a condition wherein individuals are unaware of their mental health or addiction issues
Anosognosia plays a crucial role in addiction, creating a barrier to recognizing the severity of the problem Ben's inability to acknowledge his addiction mirrored the impact of anosognosia, making it challenging for him to see beyond the distorted lens of his altered perception.
Amidst the tumultuous journey with Ben, I found some small semblance of solace in exploring the science behind addiction In Ben's case, Bipolar ran in both sides of the family mine and his dad's. Ben, he was genetically predisposed, and Anosognosia raises its dangerous head in 40% of bipolar patients and 80% of Schizophrenia patients
No one chooses this life willingly. Drugs are a survival tactic, a misguided attempt to cope with underlying brain illness Ben, too, was ensnared in this cycle, where each drug became a desperate attempt to alleviate the stress and trauma of it all.
As I questioned, "Why doesn't he love me enough to stop using?" I realized that the answer lay in compassion. Choosing compassion meant removing blame, shame, and expectations I wasn't always good at it, but I tried. Compassion was the reason we stayed together through the 7 years he lived with the illness addiction.
In the years that followed, I worked hard to create a positive and loving environment every time I saw Ben. As I became Ben's safe space, free from judgment, I witnessed the transformative power of love and self-compassion It was why we stayed friends, and Ben knew that I'd be there for him no matter what.
The journey with Ben, marked by dangerous behaviors, near-death experiences, and the formidable adversary of Anosognosia, has been an emotional rollercoaster. The haunting question, "Why doesn't he love me enough to change," disappeared when I realized the severity of his brain illness Addiction is not a choice It's a brain disorder.
Recognizing addiction as a neurological brain illness and understanding the barriers it creates is crucial for fostering empathy and unconditional love.
Right up until the day Ben died, we had a great relationship His final call to me that was left on my phone said, "Hi, Mom, it's Ben. Just calling to check-in. Love you."
The sound of his voice was pure love He was my everything I'll cherish that recording forever, and I'm so thankful that I learned to understand the illness rather than be the victim of the very isolating question, "Why doesn't he love me enough to change "
Our journey through the labyrinth of addiction, filled with heartbreak, confusion, and resilience, brought us face to face with the harsh reality of a neurological brain illness. The love I had for Ben, despite the challenges, never wavered Understanding the science behind his struggles allowed me to transform my approach, replacing judgment with compassion.
In sharing our story, my hope is that other parents grappling with the pain of loving a child with a severe illness like addiction will find solace in the knowledge that they are not alone.
Addiction is a formidable tragedy, but with empathy, education, and unconditional love, we can navigate the storm. Ben's memory lives on, a testament to the strength found in compassion, understanding, and the unwavering bond between a parent and their child. Lead with compassion!
Much love Ben's Mom
In a world teeming with questions, we often unearth the most profound answers in the unlikeliest of places. We're living in an era where delving deep into the complexities of brain illnesses such as addiction, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, psychosis, delusions, and anosognosia is not just a matter of importance; it's a necessity And amid this enlightening journey, we encounter the unsung heroes of recovery.
Stepping into the shoes of those waging an internal battle against these afflictions, we witness the raw struggles, the occasional triumphs, and the intricate labyrinth of their minds What becomes glaringly evident is that addiction, too, is a brain illness, one that incarcerates its victims in their own thoughts. Often, it leaves them isolated, estranged from family, entangled in legal woes, or, tragically, homeless. This dire situation calls for a radical change!
Let's acknowledge that people with addiction don't choose this path any more than they choose homelessness. There are underlying mental afflictions, drug addictions, and brain illnesses that keep them ensnared.
The process of accepting a new diagnosis is challenging for most individuals; reluctance to acknowledge the diagnosis is common However, for those grappling with severe brain illnesses like addiction, bipolar disorder, and schizophrenia, this refusal can persist indefinitely. It's not merely denial; it's a protracted condition known as anosognosia.
Anosognosia, a term originating from the Greek "lack of awareness or insight," afflicts 40% of individuals with bipolar disorder and an astonishing 80% of those with schizophrenia. This condition entails an individual's inability to comprehend the nature of their own ailment and a subsequent failure to seek treatment
Anosognosia isn't merely about being in denial; it's a neurological brain disorder rooted in the frontal cortex of the brain Brain scans and psychological testing can confirm its presence
So, why do roughly half of all individuals battling mental illness remain oblivious to their condition?
My elder brother Robert was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and schizophrenia nearly five decades ago, and had I known then what I understand now, we might have had a different journey Anosognosia is not a matter of denial; it's a neurological affliction beyond conscious choice. It's a tragic reality that remains widely misunderstood.
To complicate matters further, many mental health and addiction illnesses are hereditary
Thus, I faced the challenge of raising a beautiful boy, Ben, who would eventually succumb to addiction and anosognosia. An honors student with distinction, at the age of 15, Ben Olivero smoked weed for the very first time, unwittingly unlocking the door to seven years of madness that would ultimately claim his life.
Ben didn't acknowledge his illness when he went to rehab, jail, or lived on the streets. No amount of persuasion, yelling, reasoning, bargaining, or information could make him recognize the gravity of his situation He firmly believed he was "doing fine."
People with severe mental illnesses, including anosognosia, may lose touch with reality over time, spiraling into psychosis In these situations, involuntary admission to care under the Mental Health Act is often the only life-saving recourse.
Anosognosia with addiction often leads to a life of addiction, couch surfing, theft to fuel drug habits, prostitution for drugs, and homelessness. The minds of those afflicted are utterly hijacked, endangering their lives in ways reminiscent of dementia patients left on the streets
It's imperative to reiterate that addiction is an illness, not a reflection of one's character. Understanding this fundamental truth is paramount. We must also recognize that drugs on the streets today are so highly addictive that resorting to theft to acquire them is akin to stealing a last breath of air for those trapped in addiction
Why, then, do we persist in neglecting our fellow citizens and leaving them stranded on the streets?
The rationale for keeping individuals with addiction on the streets, imperiling their lives and perpetuating their drug dependency, is indeed a conundrum. While some might argue it's a matter of personal "choice," people suffering from druginduced anosognosia or mental illness anosognosia genuinely have "no choice "
We've been neglecting them due to our ignorance and a lack of understanding of addiction as an illness and anosognosia as the catalyst for not seeking self-care.
Because of the privacy laws in Canada, family members are often excluded from the circle of care for those grappling with addiction and other brain illnesses. This oversight is essentially a death sentence, as Ben's tragic story exemplifies. As it stands, illicit drugs are the leading cause of death among Canadian youth aged 10-19 This fact should be a wake-up call.
Those with anosognosia often refuse care and medication, resulting in accidents drug-related illnesses, and often death Anosognosia and mental illness are key factors contributing to our homeless population. Diagnostic and imaging tests that are possible with anosognosia include computerized tomography (CT) Scan, Electroencephalogram (EEG), and Magnetic Resonance Imaging (MRI). Psychological testing is available as well.
Instead of focusing on the end result, such as homelessness and tent cities, we must address the root cause, which is anosognosia and the urgent need for early testing and diagnosis.
In cases of anosognosia, individuals often respond with anger, fear, and resistance when faced with forced care because they view the world through the lens of their illness. The only viable path forward is to establish communication that emphasizes listening, validation, and understanding. We must respect their experiences and avoid judgment or confrontation.
Over time, this is what I learned about how to relate to Ben. Despite my apprehensions and heartaches over Ben's choices, I learned to communicate within the realm of Ben's reality, refraining from attempting to dissuade him from his delusions. I learned to accept his world, which allowed us to share precious moments for six years, even though he chose to live in shelters where drugs were readily available I'm grateful that I learned this approach; it gave us six extra years of life together that would have otherwise been impossible.
Ben was the love of my life He was a gentle giant. Red hair, handsome, and one of the smartest, most insightful people I knew. He could diagnose everyone else, but himself. Such is the nature of this insidious disease, Anosognosia and Addiction.
How to respond to Anosognosia
Anosognosia is a condition that can be confusing and frightening because what the world is saying does not coincide with one's experience.
To family members and friends it might seem like someone with anosognosia has stubbornness or is living in denial when in reality, this condition affects a person’s ability to understand what’s happening to their own body and would therefore they would not seek treatment or help
For people who have drug-induced anosognosia or mental illness anosognosia, it’s important to build a trusting relationship with them If you or a loved one has anosognosia, it’s also important to be as patient and understanding as possible.
Ben's addiction had an iron grip on him. It was exhausting, the relentless never-ending pursuit of having to find the money for drugs, day in and day out wore him to a thread. He did it and he hated it. He lived a tortured last six years of his life. He was trapped in a circle of needing drugs and not realizing he was sick He wanted to die because the cycle was unbearable. I chose to love him Ben the moment, providing whatever help I could day by day as we both struggled through it together. It was a journey of purgatory, one I would never wish on another human being and yet we are needlessly made to endure it because of a lack of understanding and early testing and diagnosis.
As a mother of a son with addiction, you wake up each day wondering...is this the day my son will die. A living hell, a parent's worst nightmare, day in, day out. And then one day, six years later, he does
All of this could have been avoided had Ben been properly diagnosed at rehab, when I brought him to the hospital, in jail, and during social service visits at shelters
I believe the medical system is outdated, unresponsive, and partially responsible for Ben's demise due to the absence of early testing, diagnosis, parental involvement, testing for anosognosia, and screening for addiction or other mental illnesses. Despite my pleas to doctors and judges, the privacy laws and the Charter of Rights and Freedoms kept Ben in harm's way
Without early testing and diagnosis, doctors took Ben at face value, releasing him to the streets when he claimed to be "fine." This negligent approach allowed him to overdose repeatedly, even when he was in the care of medical professionals. This negligence led to his tragic demise of a Fentynal overdose death.
This is not just Ben's story; it's the story of countless Canadians. Illicit drugs have claimed more lives than COVID-19. However, we do little to address the primary root cause of this crisis: the lack of early testing and diagnosis
We often justify this neglect by citing privacy laws and the Charter's right to choose one's destiny. Ironically, addiction affords no choice The laws designed to protect us are inadvertently contributing to the deaths of our youth and family members. It's unacceptable.
Knowing all of this how can we do better? How can we become better listeners, with better understanding? How can we look at the outer results to show us what's going on internally in the minds of our addicted loved ones?
Here are a few suggestions to start:
1. The privacy laws must be amended to allow families to be part of the circle of care.
2. Anosognosia should be one of the first tests administered when an individual presents with an addiction-related brain illness.
3. Doctors should refrain from prescribing further addictive medications without a comprehensive pre-testing and diagnostics recovery plan in place
4. When an individual's life is at risk, doctors should be willing to share patient information with loved ones to ensure the necessary support and care are provided, especially in cases of anosognosia and addiction.
What's missing from the current approach is a holistic strategy for addiction recovery that involves a collaborative team effort, including family members, medical professionals, and the legal system with early intervention. We must strive to create a society where early testing for anosognosia is commonplace, and from there, a tailored recovery and treatment plan is initiated.
The missing piece of the puzzle lies in the creation of a culture of success with aftercare, where sober living environments and communities can thrive, free from the clutches of addiction People in recovery can be the architects of this new world. I dream of sober living cafes, entertainment centers, communities, and towns!
These resilient individuals who bear the catastrophic illness of addiction, hold the keys to recovery, and with love, understanding, and acceptance, we can pave a new path toward healing. Recovery is a complex journey, but it's also profoundly simple. It's about extending a compassionate hand to those in need and supporting them on their path to recovery.
We must remember that recovery is not just about the individual; it's about reshaping the societal structures and systems to ensure that every road leads to recovery. Our people in recovery can help design these solutions, drawing from their unique experiences and insights.
A vision of the future emerges, where those in recovery find a profound purpose. They become the builders of a recovery model that can transform our world They write books, create art and music, develop systems for early intervention, and shape the norms of a society where recovery is the norm.
The solution may not be easy, and it may require significant changes to our existing systems and laws. But it's a path worth treading. With collective efforts, we can rewrite the story of those struggling with addiction and anosognosia, turning their pain into a source of strength and their journey into a beacon of hope for others.
The answers to recovery often lie within the stories and experiences of those who have walked the challenging path of mental illness and addiction.
I say to all those in addiction and recovery, TELL YOUR STORY! Wear it on your sleeve like a badge of honor and bring it out of the darkness and into the light. Make us understand. We want to listen.
This is a call to action for all of us to empathize, understand, and support those battling these afflictions. Let's come together to break the barriers, change the laws, and create a culture where recovery is the norm, and every road leads to healing
The journey may be complex, but the goal is simple: to create a world where everyone can find their way back home.
Ben died just 11 weeks ago. Since then the only way I can endure the pain of losing my son is by helping others going through the same nightmare
I've learned a lot about channeling grief and how that experience can make or break a person. I have chosen to live my own life entirely drug/alcohol/addiction-free so that I can survive the pain of losing Ben. In the process of my own journey, I intend to help every family who didn't have the resources Ben did.
www GuardiansOfRecovery Foundation is just the beginning.
Reach out - Let's talk about it.
Tina Olivero - 709-770-0677 - tina@theogm com
Addiction is a formidable adversary that not only affects the individual caught in its grip but also has widespread repercussions on society. What we know for sure is that we know very little about addiction as a brain illness We need to know more. Much more....before more people die, like my son Ben olivero did. A fatal overdose can take our kids in the blink of an eye. Overcoming that means understanding what's really happening in the brain illness of addiction.
Anosognosia, a condition where a person is unaware of their illness, particularly prevalent in addiction, further complicates the road to recovery. This dangerous combination often leads to homelessness and, tragically, can result in premature death In this article, we will explore the intricate relationship between addiction, Anosognosia, homelessness, and the urgent need for a more humane approach to support those battling these challenges
Addiction is a complex and chronic brain disorder characterized by compulsive drug-seeking, continued use despite harmful consequences, and long-lasting changes in the brain. While many individuals with addiction are aware of their struggles, a significant portion experience a condition called Anosognosia This phenomenon renders individuals oblivious to their impairment or illness, making it exceptionally challenging to convince them to seek help. To complicate matters, addiction often coincides with other mental illnesses. Anosognosia is prevalent in 40% of bipolar patients and 80% of Schizophrenia patients.
The presence of Anosognosia in addiction creates a significant barrier to seeking and receiving help Individuals in this state often resist treatment, as they genuinely believe they do not have a problem. This reluctance can strain relationships with family and friends and leave the person isolated, compounding the challenges they face
The intersection of addiction, Anosognosia, and homelessness is particularly distressing. People with addiction issues often find it difficult to maintain stable employment and housing As the grip of addiction tightens, social connections fray, and economic stability crumbles. Anosognosia exacerbates this situation, as individuals may not fully comprehend the severity of their circumstances, making it less likely for them to seek assistance or engage with available resources.
Leaving individuals with Anosognosia and addiction to fend for themselves on the streets is not only heart-wrenching but also inhumane The lack of access to basic necessities, healthcare, and social support can lead to a further deterioration of their physical and mental wellbeing. Moreover, the stigma associated with homelessness and addiction perpetuates a cycle of isolation, making it even more difficult for individuals to break free from their predicament.
It is crucial to recognize the humanity of individuals battling addiction and Anosognosia. Instead of stigmatizing and marginalizing them, society must adopt a more compassionate and understanding approach. This involves investing in comprehensive mental health services, addiction treatment programs, and support networks that address the unique challenges posed by Anosognosia.
Government agencies, non-profit organizations, and communities must collaborate to develop policies and initiatives that prioritize mental health and addiction services. This includes early intervention strategies, affordable treatment options, and supportive housing programs Education campaigns are also essential to raise awareness about addiction and reduce the stigma associated with seeking help.
The intertwining web of addiction, Anosognosia, and homelessness creates a harrowing path for those affected. Recognizing the humanity of individuals grappling with these challenges is the first step toward building a more compassionate and effective support system.
By prioritizing mental health, challenging stigmas, and implementing comprehensive solutions, we can strive to break the cycle that leaves individuals on the streets, vulnerable to the perils of addiction and Anosognosia.
Given that one in six people in Newfoundland and Labrador will experience mental health and addiction issues in their lifetime, it is our collective responsibility to ensure that no one is left behind in the struggle for recovery and wellbeing.
First, let's understand addiction as a brain illness. Next, realize that if people aren't getting help, it's not a choice, it's a brain illness. Not understanding that leaves our most vulnerable in severely inhumane conditions. Third, we have to do better So much better!
Canada faces a severe housing crisis, a harsh reality that touches the lives of its citizens. In 2021, when we asked Canadian households about experiences of homelessness, a staggering 11.2% equivalent to 1,690,000 people revealed they had faced some form of homelessness in their lifetime.
Homelessness isn't just about living in shelters or unhoused in public spaces; it runs deeper, intertwining with complex issues such as mental health, addiction, Anosognosia, and the lack of early intervention.
This article delves into the harsh truths, aiming to shed light on the fact that up to 75% of homelessness cases may be linked to mental health and addiction issues. When we work to solve the root cause of issues rather than bandaid solutions, then and only then will we solve this horrific homelessness crisis.
The ROCK BOTTOM THEORY and why it doesn't work:
The prevailing notion that individuals must hit rock bottom before seeking help for addiction is not just outdated; it's a cruel and inappropriate solution for recovery It's one of the primary reasons we have so many people living in tents and homeless today.
As a mother who witnessed her son's deterioration over seven years, desperately trying to secure him the help he needed, I watched the system fail him repeatedly. This blog serves as a plea to the medical community, the judicial system, and especially the leadership of this country, to adopt a new approach to addiction and recovery.
This blog addresses Anosognosia, its role in perpetuating addiction, the shortcomings of medical systems, and the critical importance of early intervention in addiction recovery.
Understanding Anosognosia:
Every day holds significance in the battle against addiction, where the key to recovery lies in early intervention.
However, a formidable obstacle stands in the way: Anosognosia, a condition that robs individuals of awareness about the severity of their addiction. The elusive nature of Anosognosia, compounded by systemic failures, hinders early intervention, perpetuates the drug crisis, and challenges the conventional wisdom of hitting rock bottom as a catalyst for recovery.
Anosognosia:
Anosognosia, a neurological condition, manifests as a lack of awareness or insight into one's own illness. It becomes particularly complex when intertwined with addiction. Here's how Anosognosia presents itself in those with addiction and homelessness.
Lack of Awareness: Anosognosia inhibits individuals from recognizing the severity of their addiction, creating a significant barrier to seeking help. Inability to Self-Reflect: Anosognosia prevents individuals from understanding and perceiving the severity of their addiction It is often associated with mental health conditions, affecting 50-98% of people with schizophrenia, 40% of people with bipolar disorder, and over 80% of people with Alzheimer's disease
Not Denial, but a Neurological Deficit: Anosognosia is not denial; it's a neurological deficit in the brain. People with this condition can't recognize their illness, rationalize what's happening, and may confabulate, filling gaps in memory with false memories. Impaired Decision-Making: Anosognosia compromises the ability to make rational decisions about health, hindering the capacity to recognize the need for addiction treatment.
Decreased Motivation for Change: The lack of awareness often leads to diminished motivation for treatment or lifestyle changes. With Anosognosia, individuals may question, "Why seek help when I'm not sick?"
Increased Risk of Relapse: Failure to recognize addiction's seriousness increases the risk of relapse, as individuals may not fully understand the need for ongoing treatment and support
Barriers to Seeking Professional Help: Anosognosia creates significant barriers to seeking professional help, as individuals may believe they do not require assistance.
Strained Relationships and Isolation: Anosognosia strains relationships and fosters social isolation, making it challenging for loved ones to communicate with someone refusing to acknowledge their addiction
Compromised Access to Timely Treatment: The lack of awareness associated with Anosognosia strains the critical window for early intervention, delaying access to timely addiction treatment
The Failing Medical System:
The medical system's inability to address the nuances of anosognosia compounds the challenges faced by those with addiction and suffering homelessness:
Delayed Access to Treatment: Bureaucratic hurdles and systemic inefficiencies contribute to delayed access to addiction treatment, missing the critical window for timely intervention.
Health Integration: The separation between mental health and addiction treatment exacerbates the challenges of dual diagnosis cases, leaving individuals without comprehensive care.
Insufficient Training for Healthcare
Professionals: Healthcare professionals may lack the necessary training to identify and address Anosognosia, further delaying appropriate intervention
Limited Resources for Family Involvement: Privacy laws and institutional policies restrict family involvement, depriving individuals of crucial familial support in their recovery journey
Stigma-Perpetuating Practices: Stigmatizing attitudes within the medical system contribute to a culture of shame around addiction, discouraging individuals from seeking help and perpetuating the cycle of denial.
The drug crisis in Canada is a perfect storm of brain illness exacerbated by Anosognosia and a medical system struggling to adapt. To break this cycle, there must be a comprehensive reevaluation of healthcare policies, increased awareness and training for healthcare professionals, and a concerted effort to integrate mental health and addiction treatment. For example, the very first thing that should happen medically when someone presents with addiction or homelessness is to test for Anosognosia.
Diagnostic and imaging tests that are possible with anosognosia include: Computerized tomography (CT) scan.
Electroencephalogram (EEG) Magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) The Anosognosia Scale (AS), created by Deckel and Morrison, is commonly used to compare self-report to caregiver or clinician report, with a difference of six points or higher, indicating anosognosia It's important to get those with addiction and mental health challenges tested as soon as possible to avoid the devastation and destruction that goes with untreated individuals, including living on the streets, living in trap houses, couch surfing, living in tents, and dangerous drug-den shelters.
This is a call to action a plea for a more compassionate and responsive healthcare system that recognizes the urgency of early intervention in the battle against addiction and a powerful call to help those who are homeless because they don't even realize they are sick.
My son Ben didn't make it. He's not alive today because time and time again we went to the hospital, and he was never tested, diagnosed, or admitted for Anosognosia or Bipolar disorder, which are brain illness conditions that are rampant in our family genetics
This call to action seeks to address the stark realities that the homeless crisis and the drug epidemic are interconnected. Anosognosia, coupled with the failing medical system, perpetuates a cycle of suffering, with lives lost and families torn apart.
As a society, we must acknowledge the urgency of early intervention
Anosognosia shouldn't be a hidden barrier but a focal point in the identification and treatment of addiction. The medical system needs a paradigm shift, incorporating rigorous training for healthcare professionals to recognize and address anosognosia
Privacy laws, while vital, must be reevaluated to ensure that they don't become obstacles preventing family involvement, a crucial element in the recovery journey The privacy laws have no place in the lives of one with Anosognosia, in the same way they don't adhere to someone with Dementia. If there's no capacity to know they are sick, there's no need for a privacy law In fact, adhering to the privacy law will most likely be the reason for that person's demise. In the case of my son Ben, who lost his life to an overdose, it was without a doubt the primary reason for his death I was not "allowed" to intervene in his care That is tragic, given that the privacy laws were never meant to harm people.
Stigmatizing practices within the medical system must be dismantled, and replaced with empathy and understanding. Addiction is not a choice but a complex interplay of factors, including mental health conditions that require comprehensive care
Our leadership in the medical system has a responsibility to lead this transformation. The lives of countless individuals, families, and communities hang in the balance. It's a call for decisive action, investment in mental health resources, and the integration of addiction treatment into mainstream healthcare.
In memory of those like my son, Ben, who fell through the cracks, we implore our leaders to recognize the human cost of inaction. The drug crisis is not just a statistic; it's a devastating reality that demands immediate attention We cannot afford to lose more lives to a system that fails to adapt and recognize the urgency of early intervention. Nor can we leave those with Anosognosia on the cold winter streets to fend for themselves It's inhumane!
This is not just a plea for change; it's a demand for a compassionate, responsive, and proactive healthcare system. It's a call to turn the tide on the devastating drug epidemic and the resulting homeless crisis The time for action is now; hundreds of thousands of lives depend on it.
Do it for Ben!
Tina Olivero, Founder, GuardiansOfRecovery I lost my son to addiction, July 29, 2023 - He was my everything!
FROM DARKNESS TO FROM DARKNESS TO FROM DARKNESS TO LIGHT: A JOURNEY OF LIGHT: A JOURNEY OF LIGHT: A JOURNEY OF RESILIENCE AND RESILIENCE AND RESILIENCE AND TRANSFORMATION TRANSFORMATION TRANSFORMATION
Reflecting on my life, I often return to a defining chapter – my early battle with addiction. It started alarmingly early, at about 9 or 10, setting the stage for a tumultuous adolescence. Countless times, I found myself in the ER due to injuries from over-drinking, including a frightening stint of three days unconscious in a semi-coma. These moments were blaring alarms, signaling the dangerous road I was on
Living with a disability, I faced unique challenges that compounded my struggles. My home was a cold, dark basement apartment, lacking even basic amenities like electricity or clean running water. In those moments of intense loneliness, my casual substance use deepened into a dependency beyond my control.
A pivotal moment of realization came after a therapy session. Alone with my thoughts, I suddenly understood how far I had strayed from my dreams. This painful acknowledgment was also the start of something new – a decision to seek help and take charge of my life.
Recovery was a winding road with highs and lows. A landmark moment was at a party when I confidently refused a drink, marking a significant victory over my old habits. Daily, I made choices to nurture my health, finding strength in support groups where I forged friendships with those who truly understood my journey
Recovery meant more than just staying sober; it was about a complete transformation of my lifestyle. Rediscovering my love for painting, I found joy and a sense of accomplishment in every brushstroke. It wasn’t just a hobby; it was a celebration of my progress and new life.
Looking back now, I see a stark contrast between those challenging days, like when eating a donut off the sidewalk seemed normal, and my life today, rebuilt through resilience and determination Sharing my story publicly, I realized the power of our shared experiences to inspire and connect us. It's not just recounting the past; it's about empowering others to see the possibility of change
Recovery is a continuous journey of selfdiscovery and commitment. Each day is an opportunity for growth and facing life’s challenges with a renewed spirit My story, with all its ups and downs, aims to inspire you to take action and responsibility in your own life, showing that no matter the difficulty, change is achievable, and a brighter path lies ahead
To anyone struggling, know this: you're not alone. Embracing change and taking that first step can lead to a future beyond your wildest dreams.
Every day, I remind myself of my past and the progress I’ve made. Overcoming addiction is about discovering your true self and your potential The greatest transformations often come from the toughest challenges My journey from desperation to where I am now stands as a testament to this truth.
I've learned that our experiences, no matter how difficult, hold lessons that forge us into stronger, more resilient beings. My past has not only shaped me but also equipped me to guide others. It's taught me empathy, resilience, and the value of community
Today, my life is a narrative of redemption and hope. It shows that no matter how deep your despair, there's always a way out. It’s not about being defined by your circumstances but using them to build a better future
I share my story to light a path for others who might feel lost in their struggles. It’s an encouragement to take that first, often most challenging, step towards change Remember, it’s never too late to turn things around. Every day is a new chance to rewrite your story.
Recovery and transformation are possible for everyone. It’s a path that demands courage and commitment, but the rewards – a reclaimed life, a sense of purpose, and the joy of rediscovery – are immeasurable
As you embark on your journey, remember the road may be tough, but it's not insurmountable. Your story, like mine, can be one of resilience and hope, a tale of overcoming and thriving Take that step, reach out for support, and trust in your ability to transform your life. You have the strength within you to overcome the deepest struggles, just as I did
My journey has taught me a profound lesson: we are much stronger than we often believe. Each challenge, setback, and triumph is part of our unique journey of self-discovery and growth
Our experiences have the power to teach us about personal responsibility and action. Making daily commitments to yourself, whether it’s choosing healthier coping mechanisms or simply facing the day with positivity, shapes the trajectory of your life.
In recalling my days of darkness and contrasting them with where I stand now, I’m reminded of our incredible human resilience and potential. Remember, there's always strength within you, waiting to be tapped
Through my journey, I’ve embraced the power of small victories. Each time you say no to a negative habit, choose a healthier option, or reach out for help, you’re taking a step towards a better life. These small victories build the foundation for lasting change.
Sharing my journey isn’t about my achievements; it's about showing those who are struggling that change is possible. Your journey might be different, but the potential for change is universal
As you start or continue your path to recovery, remember it's okay to ask for help and to feel vulnerable. Recovery is a shared journey of understanding, support, and compassion
Finally, always hold onto hope. No matter how distant it may seem, there’s always light ahead. Your current situation isn't the end Just as I navigated through my darkest times, so can you
So take that step today. Believe in yourself and the journey ahead. Your story is just beginning, and it might just be the inspiration someone else needs to embark on their path to change.
My name is Jada Costello and I have been sober from alcohol since January 25th, 2019. In the depths of despair, my sister recommended that I reach out to Tina Olivero. Within minutes, Tina promptly responded to my cries for help. Today, I see the endless hours she dedicates to this cause, the empathy, compassion, and support she has for others despite her own pain, the lives and hearts she touches like no other, and the mountains she is willing to move for Recovery.
My name is Cathy Power, and I got sober from alcohol addiction. Joining the Guardians of Recovery group has made me realize that I'm not alone, and people like Tina Olivero, whom I've known and loved for years, through the loss of her beautiful son, Ben, are doing so much to help and save others. Thank you, we need more love and support in the mental health and addictions community
I became a part of Guardians of Recovery and learned how to better deal with my daughter’s addiction. Since attending the meetings at the lantern, our lives have been 1000 times better. Every chance I get I’m telling people about the Guardians of Recovery It’s very important because I feel like I found my community.
