June 12, 2012

THENORTHERNLIGHT

JUNE 12, 2012

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UNIVERSITY OF ALASKA ANCHORAGE

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Hypnosis Show Open to under 21 crowd

Food Quest

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Where to get the best burrito in town

WWW.THENORTHERNLIGHT.ORG

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Sports Sports you won’t see on TV

UAA celebrates Juneteenth with annual barbecue on front lawn

By Heather Hamilton A&E Editor

PHOTO COURTESY OF MAT-SU COLLEGE

Assistant Professors Kathy Griffin and Carol Nash pose with their students by the floorplans of the new addition to Snodgrass Hall

Mat-Su’s Snodgrass Hall expansion

New facility will better support nursing and paramedic programs

By Evan Dodd News Editor

Paramedic and nursing students from the Mat-Su campus of the University of Alaska Anchorage will soon have access to new opportunities in the form of a large-scale expansion to the existing Snodgrass Hall.

On May 23 Borough Mayor Larry DeVilbiss officially cut the ribbon for the construction of the $3.5 million addition to the MatSu campus. The ribbon cutting ceremony was witnessed by staff

and students alike as construction officially started on the expansion.

The addition, funded by a number of state bonds, will benefit the campus’ nursing and paramedic programs by increasing the program’s capacity for enrollment, thus providing shorter waiting lists for prospective students. The facility will offer more space for classrooms and support rooms for the two programs.

According to Assistant Professor of Paramedic

Technology Kathy Griffin, the new addition will also contain a state of the art simulated ambulance bay that will allow students the chance to learn in a realistic setting.

“This expansion really brings us to the forefront of EMS education,” stated Griffin. “Our first concern is meeting student needs, and our job is to provide the quality paramedics that the community deserves.”

See EXPANSION

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UAA Bookstore offers new textbook rental service

PHOTO BY VICENTE CAPALA

By Kierra Hammons Copy Editor

One of the main staples of college budgeting is textbooks.

The buggers can individually cost more than a week’s wage (depending on the employer and taxes), and their value is similar to that of diamonds—the second they are purchased, the resale price plummets to painfully low numbers. Since many do not keep their textbooks after the semester has ended, a solution to saving cash is textbook rental.

Textbook rental has been around for a while through third-party services, and the Consortium Library has even promoted websites such as Chegg, Amazon and CampusBooks.com for students interested in cheap textbook rentals. These options did work as alternatives to the

Bookstore, but one of those most risky things about ordering from an online service and living in Alaska is the gamble that must be taken in terms of shipping.

In order to actually save money by renting a textbook or buying a used one online, it’s in the renter’s best interest to choose the cheapest option available — but any long-term resident of the state is well-aware that things never ship to the Last Frontier on time.

Sure, faster shipping is an option, but a used textbook order from Amazon can spike from $100 to up to $150 by selecting five-day shipping options alone. All the extra effort of going online can be quickly negated by pricey shipping.

The UAA Bookstore is now stepping up to the plate to become a local competitor of other online services by providing an alternative that eliminates the cost and time of ordering from out of state. Starting July 1, students can go to the Bookstore and start renting textbooks for the fall.

The process is simple; just look around the Bookstore, and titles available for rent will be labled.

If you miss the label, the cashier will ask you if you would like to buy or rent the book if it scans as rentable. Renting is cheaper, but the option to buy is still there.

UAA Bookstore’s assistant

administrator John Smart is enthusiastic about the beginning of the rental program. A parttime student himself, he knows the benefits of being able to rent books. However, he stresses that the program is still in its beginning stages of development, and the Bookstore is hard at work coordinating with UAA faculty to make more titles available for the fall.

“We started a pilot program this summer, and we did two books, just so we can try to get the kinks out of our system,” said Smart. “Fall, we’re planning to do a lot more — we actually don’t know the number yet.”

If the Bookstore carries the textbook you want to rent, then all you have to do is rent it out at the cashier’s desk and you’re taken care of for the rest of the semester There’s a due date for the textbooks, and a $5 a day fee will be charged to students who turn in their textbooks late. If the textbook is more than five days late, however, the 110 percent of the textbook’s price is charged to the student’s credit card or student account. But if the book is kept in good shape and is turned in on time, there’s nothing to worry about.

Check out http://tinyurl.com/ uaatextbooks for more details.

When people hear the term “Juneteenth,” they immediately think of music, soul food and large gatherings of people. And while this has been the case for most of the tradition’s history, that’s not all it is.

In 1865, two years after President Lincoln signed the Emancipation Proclamation of 1863, Texas slaves finally learned that they were free.

According to Juneteenth.com, the official Juneteenth website, Major General Granger is the man credited for announcing the proclamation in Galveston, Texas on June 19, 1865. One reason the new law wasn’t enforced in Texas sooner was because there wasn’t a sufficient Union presence to do so; after the surrender of General Lee in April 1865 and the arrival of Granger’s soldiers, that was no longer the case.

Once they were free, African American men and women wanted to celebrate their newly established freedom, and chose to do so by getting together, cooking and socializing, some even making yearly pilgrimages back to Galveston to do so.

Nowadays, most Juneteenth celebrations still include a cook out (typically barbecuing) and large gatherings of people, but different places celebrate it in different ways. When UAA began celebrating Juneteenth in the mid 90s, they invited local performers to participate.

“We started having a special barbecue that was specific to Juneteenth,” said Annie Route, UAA’s director of Student Life and Leadership. “We had different performance groups, maybe a choir, or the kids’ tumbling team, a whole variety of different performers; a real festive atmosphere with great food and a gathering.”

According to Route, past Juneteenth celebrations have also included public speakers, educational handouts, the singing of “Lift Every Voice and Sing” (by James Weldon Johnson and his brother John Rosamond Johnson, and unofficially named the “Negro National Anthem”), and even recipe booklets full of traditional Juneteenth food.

In recent years, the Juneteenth barbecue has featured live music by musicians brought up by Student Activities, such as the blues singer Shemekia Copeland at the 2011 Juneteenth. This year, they’re bringing up the Soul Rebels, an eight-piece brass band from Louisiana who fuse jazz, hip

UAA ARCHIVE

UAA celebrates Juneteenth 2010 on the Wellsfargo lawn.

hop, rap and pop (among others) together to get their personal sound.

As far as the food of Juneteenth is concerned, Route says that the university would partner with local restaurants to supply Juneteenth-related food for the barbecue, a tradition that still exists despite the existence of Dining Services.

“Campus catering hasn’t been here for forever and ever,” said Route. “Before that time, we didn’t have anyone to go to, so it was natural to go to the different restaurants; now we’re working with Catfish Haven, we’ve worked with Sourdough Mining Company and then we’ve also added in Dining Services for the things that they’re good at doing.”

Despite its historic roots in Texas, Juneteenth is celebrated all over the U.S., and even in other parts of the world as the tradition has travelled. And while UAA’s own tradition is less than two decades old, it has its own history and growth that continues to unfold each year.

UAA’s Juneteenth barbecue will be held on the Wells Fargo front lawn on Monday, June 18th at 11:45 a.m. and is free for students.

It is $8 for UAA staff and faculty, and $10 for the general public. The Soul Rebels will be performing a free teaser at the event, and will perform a full concert on Tuesday, June 19 in the Wendy Williamson Auditorium at 7:30 p.m. Tickets are free to UAA students with a valid ID, $15 advance and $20 at the door for UAA staff, faculty, and students from other schools with a valid ID, and $20 advance and $25 at the door for the general public. Tickets can be purchased at UAAtix.com.

TNL

News| June 12, 2012

NEWS BRIEFS

Sentencing hearing being held in boy’s death A two-day sentencing hearing is under way for a Fairbanks woman who struck and killed an 11-year-old boy as he walked to school. Sixtyeight-year-old Yiki Kim was charged with manslaughter and reckless driving in the death of Jamison Thrun last fall. She pleaded guilty in December to criminally negligent homicide and could be sentenced to up to four years in jail under the terms of a plea agreement. Kim had taken five different types of prescription medication the morning of the crash, some of which are known to cause dizziness or to impair driving. She did poorly on a field sobriety test. The Fairbanks Daily News-Miner says dozens of Thrun family supporters attended Tuesday’s hearing in Superior Court. Most of them wore large buttons that said “Justice for Jamison.”

Afghan officials say Taliban poisoned schoolgirls The Afghan government accused the Taliban Wednesday of poisoning schoolgirls by bribing students and workers to sneak toxic chemicals into drinking water or spread it around school grounds, sickening scores.

Fifteen suspects have been arrested, officials said. Government officials said six schools were affected in northern Takhar province in the past three weeks, and though they did not give a total number of girls who got sick, they said one school alone had 125 cases. President Hamid Karzai called for an investigation and intelligence service spokesman Latifullah Mashal said the intelligence service discovered a conspiracy by militants to try to scare families from sending their children to school. He said 15 people have been arrested in connection with the school poisonings. Those being held include 12 identified Taliban insurgents, a teacher and a school treasurer and his wife, he said. Government officials had previously said it was unclear what caused the series of outbreaks of illness at girls’ schools in the province starting about three weeks ago. But cases continued to mount and seven alleged school poisonings have now been reported in six schools in the province, said Mustafa Rasouli, a spokesman for the provincial government. He said the insurgents confessed to bribing teachers, school workers and even students to sneak toxic chemicals onto school grounds.

Officials did not identify any of the toxic substances allegedly used.

Kalskag man charged with assault, shooting up SUV A 26-year-old Kalskag man has been charged with punching a woman and firing about 50 rounds into a sport utility vehicle. KTUU-TV reports Michael Hetherington is being held on charges of domestic-violence assault and weapons misconduct. Alaska State Troopers took a call from a Kalskag woman just before 6:30 a.m.

Tuesday that Hetherington had beaten her. Officers reached the village three hours later. Troopers say Hetherington acknowledged punching the woman three times in the head and trying to knock her out because he didn’t like the way she was acting. He told troopers he took the woman home but still needed to blow off some steam, so he got out his.45-caliber handgun and shot out the windows, tires, engine, and body of his SUV. Troopers seized Hetherington’s gun.

Compiled by Evan Dodd

EXPANSION: Construction will continue through the fall semester with an expected spring move-in date.

Continued From Cover

The location of the Mat-Su campus is particularly beneficial to the nursing and paramedic programs due to the close proximity to the Mat-Su Regional hospital, which will provide students with hands-on, real world training. Mat-Su Regional has partnered with the nursing program in the past and can be expected to work in tandem with the paramedic program in the future.

Griffin explained, “Our main goal has been to strengthen the connection between the nursing and paramedic programs. This new expansion definitely furthers that goal.”

In addition to expanding opportunities for Mat-Su students, this move has additional benefits for UAA students who commute or transfer from the surrounding area. Many students from the MatSu area may choose to attend the local campus before transferring to Anchorage in an effort to cut housing costs, so the expanded paramedic and nursing programs will help those students lower expenses.

Mat-Su student Stefan Marty spoke very highly of the plan and expressed his appreciation for the expansion.

“This addition is a huge help to students like me who cut costs by attending classes at the local campus,” said Marty. “This opens up more options for local students who may feel limited by educational costs.”

Marty, who attends both the Anchorage and Mat-Su campuses, says that expanding the scope of the nursing and paramedic programs allows students to save money by attending local classes before transferring to Anchorage.

“This addition is a huge help to students like me who cut costs by attending classes at the local campus.”

- Stefan Marty He applauded the decision to expand and said that the addition will help local students to maintain low transportation costs while pursuing a quality education.

Mat-Su College Director Talis Colberg expressed his approval of the addition and noted the significance for students from the Mat-Su area.

“The expansion should be of great benefit to UAA nursing students from Mat-Su. Those already in the current contingent of eight based out here will have a better facility,” said Colberg.

“Once complete, the plan is to add a second contingent of eight more nursing students who will also benefit from the improved structure, because it will enable them to avoid the commute.”

Current Mat-Su student Karli Dreyer echoed Director Colberg’s excitement regarding the addition and voiced her approval of the decision.

“The new expansion will not only help the growth of campus but will help relieve the stress on commuter students,” said Dreyer.

“With more classes and variety being added every year at the Mat-Su campus, this addition will make it easier to take upper division courses without the drive to Anchorage.”

Dreyer, who plans to transfer to the Anchorage campus in the fall, says that Mat-Su has provided her with many opportunities to cut costs and is appreciative of the new addition.

“As a UAA student who finds it easier to live in the valley, I think that this is a big step towards having more of an option in location of our education,” said Dreyer.

Construction on the Snodgrass Hall expansion is expected to continue through the fall of this year with the possibility of an operational facility by the spring of 2013. Students of both the Anchorage and Mat-Su campuses are excited about the prospect of new educational opportunities.

“Any time the University makes a decision that directly benefits students, it’s a good call in my book,” said Marty.

cho ose your own

adventure

SAY WHAT!?

Lab: Burning rocks had elevated phosphate levels Additional testing has confirmed beach rocks that spontaneously combusted in a Southern California woman’s pocket contained elevated levels of phosphorus, an official said Friday. The source of the substance is still unclear, but an expert says it probably was manmade. Results from an independent lab matched those obtained by the Orange County Public Health Care Agency, which examined the rocks immediately after the May 12 incident, agency spokeswoman Deanne Thompson said. Lyn Hiner, 43, suffered second- and third-degree burns on her right leg from her thigh to her knee and on her right arm when the rocks set her shorts on fire several hours after her children collected them on a San Clemente beach. Hiner couldn’t extinguish the flames, and her husband suffered second-degree burns when he tried to help her. The phosphorus on the smooth, greenishorange rocks is likely manmade, said Kenneth Shea, an organic chemistry professor at the University of California, Irvine. Phosphorus is found in oxidized form in rocks, but in its pure elemental form can burn when exposed to air. Phosphorous compounds are used in everything from flares to munitions to fertilizer.

“You can’t go digging on the beach and find it,” Shea said. “It’s manmade, and it’s pretty common.”

Black bear euthanized after eating Canada murderer Canadian conservation officers have euthanized a black bear which they think ate the remains of a convicted murderer. British Columbia Environment Minister Terry Lake said Monday the bear’s description matched that of one seen guarding a cache that contained human remains.

Lake says the animal was put down because bears remember food sources. Officials suspect the bear pulled the body of Rory Wagner, 54, from his car after he died on a remote logging road. Wagner pleaded guilty to second-degree murder in 1994. He and two others were charged with a killing a man who they believed had sexually assaulted a family member.

He served his prison time and was released. Wagner was reported missing May 23. Police say his death was not suspicious. Hunters found the site last week.

Police: Bank robber had to be cut from air duct A wig-wearing man broke into a suburban Chicago bank vault and nearly made off with $100,000 but got stuck in an air duct and had to be cut out hours later, authorities said Sunday. Charles Estell, 38, was found early Sunday hiding in an air duct in an office next to the bank, according to Oak Lawn police spokesman Michael Kaufmann.

The Chicago man had allegedly robbed the suburban bank Saturday afternoon, and pointed a gun at bank employees who confronted him in the vault, according to the FBI. “I don’t want to kill or hurt you,” Estell said, according to the criminal complaint. “I just want the money.”

He allegedly stuffed $100,000 in a backpack and fled. Employees told authorities it appeared he escaped through the ceiling. Authorities spent hours searching for him and located him around 1 a.m. Sunday. But before they could cut him loose from the air duct, they had to remove a wig of long, beaded dreadlocks he was wearing. According to the criminal complaint, Estell told investigators that he got into the vault through the ceiling. Estell was charged Sunday with one felony count of bank robbery and could face up to 20 years in prison. He has not entered a plea, and is due back in court Tuesday.

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Compiled by Evan Dodd

FEATURES 5

La Mex: Chicken Burrito - While one of the cheaper burritos in town, it certainly isn’t a quality one. The burrito is tiny, smaller than some gas station burritos, and costs $8.75. The only

thing that comes with the burrito (which was just plopped on a plate haphazardly) is the restaurant’s complimentary chips and salsa.

In addition to being small, the tortilla is mushy on the bottom (from runny salsa) and a little burned on the top from grilling.

And while there is plenty of tasty shredded chicken on the inside, the complete lack of rice or beans guarantees the burrito at La Mex’s Spenard location a solid fifth place.

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Burrito Factory: Large Chicken Burrito - Burrito Factory is a locally owned burrito joint hidden inside the Chevron on the corner of Boniface and Northern Lights.

At $7.99, it’s the cheapest burrito and not a bad size for the price, but it doesn’t include any extras.

Unlike La Mex’s burrito though, it includes both beans and rice on the inside. The salsa is a bit runny, and so makes the tortilla moist and sticky. And, while the salsa delivers a delightfully unexpected

Gallo’s: Deluxe Chicken Burrito - The Gallo’s near Dimond and Arctic has a fairly good burrito, with moist chicken that stands out as a key flavor, rather than a hidden one. The burrito, which costs $10.25, is also stuffed with beans, but very few; it is mostly

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June 12, 2012

FOOD QUEST

Finding the best burritos in Anchorage

By Heather Hamilton and Nick Foote A&E Editor, Layout Editor

Anchorage is a melting pot of cultures, especially where food is concerned. There’s everything from Italian to Thai and classic

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Taco King: Pollo Burrito - The Taco King on Tudor is a staple for students who

kick, it also carries all the flavor of the burrito, outshining everything else. The shredded chicken is also a bit dry and tough to chew. All in all though, it isn’t too bad and is worth visiting.

chicken, borderline too much.

The salsa is mild and runny, and makes the tortilla too moist, but is tasty nevertheless. What killed the experience of this burrito was the 30-minute service time in the virtually empty restaurant and the unprofessional behavior of the server, who threw the menus down and walked away, not even staying long enough to seat his customers.

If you plan on going to Gallo’s for a burrito, go to the one on Dimond and Old Seward instead.

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Bear Tooth Theatre Pub: Chicken Colorado Burrito - By far the best burrito in town is located at Bear Tooth. The $8.95 burrito comes with tortilla chips and is stuffed with shredded chicken, rice and cheese, and is a monster in size. It is easily the fattest burrito of the bunch, and while there is definitely more rice than chicken, the rice has a nice southern flavor that

American to Indian, and this week, The Northern Light checked out Mexican food. Anchorage Food Quest part two features local chicken burritos.

Burritos sound easy to make — and they are — but making them

stand out takes both skill and an eye for detail. TNL judged the five burritos we sampled based on the flavor of the chicken, the meat to filling ratio, the quality of the tortilla, overall taste, presentation and cost.

live on campus, both because they deliver and because they are well within walking distance.

Thankfully, their burritos are worth the walk. The Pollo Burrito is stuffed with refried beans, lots of chicken, cilantro, cheese and onions. The dish includes sides of both rice and beans, making the $9.75 bill more than worth it. The chicken is moist, but cut rather

than shredded; there is a lot of it, too. The tortilla is warm and soft rather than moist and soggy, despite being coated in sauce. The onions are mostly raw, making their flavor a hint too strong, but they add a nice crunch to the burrito’s texture that is refreshing.

College kids rejoice — good burritos can be found less than a mile from the dorms.

blends well with the chicken, and adds a different enough texture to keep it interesting. The chicken itself is a bit spicy, but not overly so, and is shredded thickly enough to be enjoyable. The tortilla is dry but warm, and doesn’t stick to the roof of your mouth; if anything there’s a bit too much tortilla, as if a smaller one should have been used. While the chips are a bit boring as a side, this burrito is

designed to be a hands-only food eaten in a movie theater, which makes it more acceptable.

Tune in to the next issue of TNL, where we will be examining local hot dog stands for the best reindeer dog. If you have a favored hot dog cart, please check out our Facebook page and let us know which one!

Surgery, medicine and mayhem

By Evan Dodd News Editor

Wisdom teeth. The very mention of them makes my head start to throb as if it’s filled with a thousand angry porcupines hell-bent on dancing the tango along my jaw line — which is understandable, considering that I just had mine ripped out by a doctor who admittedly looked far more sinister holding a scalpel than he did on his webpage.

Don’t get me wrong, the surgery itself went off without a hitch; the entire procedure took a mere half hour. The recovery, however, was a very different story.

Though I don’t remember it, I apparently tried to convince the nurse to roll my wheelchair down four flights of stairs because “it worked in ‘Scrubs.’” Not exactly a sign of a sound mind.

The hilarious effects of the anesthetic continued for a short time after, in which I sang to scared bystanders who huddled their children closer in fear of the swollen bearded man who

was attempting an incoherent rendition of “Somewhere over the Rainbow.”

After three escape attempts, a couple bouts of inexplicable song and a curious incident involving a seatbelt, some gauze and a nowtraumatized neighborhood cat, I finally made it home to my own bed.

I woke up a few hours later with an extremely swollen face and no recollection of the past four hours, which is probably best, considering my medicated antics at the doctor’s office.

Though I have no memory of what I had accomplished in my drugged state, I did notice the twenty outgoing calls on my cell. I can only imagine my poor contacts, many of which I hadn’t spoken to in years, trying to understand my slurred and incoherent messages on their answering machine.

(Author’s Note: For any readers that received slightly alarming message from me, I assure you it was the anesthetic and not

a psychotic break. You should be safe to stop filling out the restraining orders and forget this ever happened.)

Given that I hadn’t been allowed to eat in what felt like a few millennia (which in real time was probably closer to 12 hours), I decided to try to find some way to sustain myself. The problem was that I was unable to open my jaw or chew without crying like a five-year-old girl watching “Up.” In an effort to circumvent this issue I tried to use a funnel to feed myself some lukewarm chicken broth. The result was something like a monstrous beer bong for soup which resulted in approximately half of my clothes and the entirety of my kitchen covered in chicken.

Thoroughly disheartened I decided to throw on a movie after taking my pain medication, which was a wonderful idea until the medication actually took effect.

I’ll save the funnier details for

See SURGERY

PAGE 4

SPORTS

June 12, 2012

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GRAPHIC BY VICENTE CAPALA

Overtime: Two sports you won’t be FEATURES CONTINUED ORW: Wisdom teeth seeing in the London Olympics

By Ashley Smith Assistant Sports Editor

While the East Coast might think about including running from zombies into their Olympic training (I mean if you can’t beat them, include them), there are a couple other sports that are trying to get into olympic status: pole dancing and yoga.

Now it’s true that both of these are proven workouts that require a great amount of training, but according to the Olympics official website: “To make it onto the Olympic program, a sport first has to be recognized: it must be administered by an International Federation which ensures that the sport’s activities follow the Olympic Charter. If it is widely practiced around the world and meets a number of criteria established by the IOC (International Olympics Committee) session, a recognized sport may be added to the Olympic

program on the recommendation of the IOC’s Olympic Programme Commission.”

Other sports have petitioned the committee in past years and made it onto the roster, but both of these sports provide their own unique barriers of public opinion to overcome.

Ask anyone what the first thing that comes to mind is when you say “pole dancing,” and it is probably something related to strippers. Would that be a good or bad thing for the Olympics?

Everyone knows sex sells and pole dancing is a pretty sensual sport.

According to the U.S. Pole Dance Federation’s website, it was founded in 2008 because at the time there were no organizations to accurately judge a poledance competition fairly. Now the competitions are scored on flexibility, sensuality, creativity, physical strength, individual style and coordination. Most of those are involved with sports, but I

don’t believe any other sport can be scored on sensuality.

It seems like it is on its way to becoming a recognized and respected sport, but one still has to wonder about the negative connotations that are associated with it and what that negativity would bring to the Olympics.

Also, would Olympic pole dancing make it acceptable for little children to want to grow up to be pole dancers? It’s hard for me to say yes to that when most of the pole dancing products, classes and logos show silhouettes of women upside down in the splits on a pole.

As for yoga, it is taking off its namaste gloves and going for the gold. To me the idea of competition in yoga kind of negates the purpose of yoga, but I’ve only done it a few times.

The U.S. Yoga Federation website states that yoga competitions have been happening for a long time in India and that USYF is encouraging yoga asana (yoga positions) as a sport in order to bring the “spirit of healthy competition to the United States.”

But competition is competition, and whatever sport it’s in, people are going to get serious about it. If it’s just the balance, grace, flexibility, and that the judges are focusing on, it seems like that takes away the very core of yoga, which is the improvement of spiritual and meditative states.

And since there really is no way to judge what color a person’s aura is that day, it seems like it would be more of a posing competition than yoga.

All in all, though, it will be interesting to see if both of these sports make it into the next Olympic games and which event sells more tickets.

continued from page 3

another time, but let’s just say that I spent a good twenty minutes convinced I was Iron Man. After yet another nap, which at this point I had become quite adept at taking every fifteen minutes, I was awakened by a knock at my front door. It was just my luck that the local Jehovah’s Witness missionaries had chosen today to stop by to spread their good news.

It took a good half hour before I was finally able to convince the group that it might not be the best time to attempt to convert me, considering that I was only vaguely hanging on to consciousness. In my defense, I’d like to see you try to have a theological discussion without opening your jaw.

The next morning I awoke to the horrible realization that my face had swollen to the size of a small aircraft carrier and had taken on a shape not unlike some sort of alien sports ball.

While my brother laughed

mercilessly from the living room, I tried to ask my mother as articulately as possible where I had stored the pain medication. The result, I’m told, was something between a vicious elephant attack and the sound of two hippos mating.

“HEPHLMPHHHHPLPH!” My mother, dying with laughter, stopped shaking just long enough to point to the medicine cabinet where my pills had been sitting throughout the entirety of the encounter.

It was at this point that my family took a vote and decided unanimously that I was to spend the next couple days medicated and wrapped securely in a blanket before I could do any more damage to the house or my reputation.

I could easily go on to describe the humorous recovery, but they say a picture is worth a thousand, incomprehensible, swollen words.

So here, enjoy in my misery.

WWW.UAA.ALASKA.EDU/SUSTAINIBILITY/RECYCLING/INDEX.CFM

EMPTY THEM FIRST

SPORTS BRIEFS UAA Ski: Jaime Bronga earns All-Academic Honors Alaska Anchorage Nordic skier Jaime Bronga was named to the 2012 Capital One Academic All-America College Division Women’s At-Large First-Team on Wednesday.

The honor is the Anchorage native’s second of her career, after receiving Second-Team honors in 2011.

The team, voted on by the members of the College Sports Information Directors of America, recognizes the top male and female student-athletes in terms of both academic and athletic accomplishment from among NCAA Div. II, III and NAIA schools. The atlarge category includes the sports of fencing, golf, gymnastics, hockey, lacrosse, rifle, skiing, tennis, volleyball, water polo and wrestling.

Bronga, a civil engineering major with a 3.99 GPA, garnered UAA’s Dresser Cup award for the second straight year in April, following a successful skiing campaign. Named Rocky Mountain Intercollegiate Ski Association Women’s Nordic MVP, Bronga posted All-America honors in the freestyle race at the NCAAs, finishing fifth.

To be eligible for the Academic All-District Team, a student-athletes must a cumulative grade point average of 3.20 on a scale of 4.00,

and have reached sophomore athletic and academic standings at his or her current institution.

UAA ranks record 16th in the D-II Directors’ Cup With NCAA finishes in eight of its 10 sports, the greatest year in Seawolf sports history was capped Wednesday as the University of Alaska Anchorage placed a programrecord 16th in the final 2011-12 Division II national standings in the Learfield Sports Directors’ Cup. After top-11 national finishes by men’s and women’s outdoor track & field during the Spring Championships season, the Seawolves totaled 495.25 points in final Directors’ Cup standings, which also established a mark for the program’s most ever.

UAA’s ranking came on the strength of NCAA finishes in all of its D- II sports – skiing (5th place, 75 points), women’s cross country’s (6th, 75), men’s cross country (8th, 66), women’s basketball (Elite Eight, 73), men’s outdoor track & field (9th, 69), women’s outdoor track & field (11th, 65.25), men’s basketball (2nd round, 50) and volleyball (1st round, 25).

UAA’s best previous placing was 26th in 2010-11, while its most points also came last year with 404. Awarded at the Division II level since 1995-96, the Cup is a joint effort between the National Association of Collegiate Directors of Athletics (NACDA) and USA Today. Points are awarded based

on each institution’s NCAA finish in up to 14 sports – seven women’s and seven men’s. There are currently 286 schools that compete at the NCAA Div. II level, meaning UAA’s finish ranks among the top 6 percent.

Seawolf Golf Tourney Registration is under way for the 28th annual Seawolf Golf Tournament, presented by Kendall Lexus of Alaska.

This year’s event is set for Thursday, August 9, at the Eagle Glen Golf Course on Elmendorf Air Force Base.

Entries are accepted on a first-come, first-served basis for the 36-team event and a full field is expected.

The format is a four-player, bestball scramble over 18 holes, with check-in at 7 a.m. and a shotgun start 8 a.m. Tournament entry-fee donations are $800 per team.

Entry fees include greens fees, two carts per team, tournament gifts, on-course refreshments, and a lunch/awards banquet following the tournament. There will be special prizes for longest drive, closest to the pin and holes-in-one.

The entry form may be downloaded at GoSeawolves.com, or in person at the UAA Athletic Department (Rm. 220, Wells Fargo Sports Complex) and all Anchoragearea courses and golf shops.

All proceeds from the event will benefit UAA student-athletes. More information is available by calling UAA Athletics at 786-1250.

Compiled by Ashley Smith

TINEL E ST UM IN M U

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THANK YOU!

P RAAL C S ET M

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT DRINK REVIEW

ALBUM REVIEW

Hawthorne Heights returns with ‘Hope’

Sweet Red an especially sweet treat

The next installment in the band’s trilogy of EPs Have a doctor on standby takes the story in a completely new direction before sampling this wine

By Heather Hamilton A&E Editor

The Ohio-based alternative band Hawthorne Heights is back with the second installment in their announced EP trilogy.

“Hope” follows the dark and angry “Hate” (released in August 2011) with a predictably lighter mood, though just barely.

The EP starts off with an immediate tie-in track to “Hate,” titled “There Was a Kid, Pt. 2.”

The song seemingly uses the same music as “There Was a Kid, Pt. 1,” as well as the raw, low-spoken quality of the monologue paired with it. Despite the depressing tone to the lyrics, they speak of a boy who rises above his undesirable circumstances enough to know there is hope for the future. It is quite different from the boy referred to in “Pt. 1,” who seemingly has none.

This thread of being just a hair more positive than the tracks of “Hate” echoes throughout the

entire album, giving it a sense of cohesiveness that one would hope to find in an EP that is made to serve as a sort of sequel.

“Running in Place (Niki Fm)” is a good example of this sense of veiled goodness, speaking of several cases of pain and loss and then following up by saying, “you never mattered anyway,” and “I’ll never stand outside your window,” both showing that the narrator knows he is better than his obstacles.

Another direct nod to the first EP of the trilogy is the inclusion of a title track, which, despite being near the end of the album, serves the general purpose of promoting the theme as well as cheering the listener some. “Hope” is easily the lightest and most positive track on the release, and by making it so, the band rewards listeners for bearing through the first five tracks, as well as bracing them for the remaining two.

“Chemicals” is a very strong

finish to the EP, and is arguably the best song on it. It deals with drug use and promotes a sense of hopelessness in the lyrics, “these chemicals are all I know.”

Its contradiction to the rest of the album validates the listener’s perception that perhaps the hope being preached at so intently has always been fragile. This relapse leaves the band with plenty of wiggle room for their final EP in the trilogy, of which the name and release date have not been released. Given that there is a good 10 months in between the first two EPs, we might have to wait until 2013 to find out how the members of Hawthorne Heights conclude their story.

Artist: Hawthorne Heights Album: “Hope” Release Date: June 5, 2012 Genre: Alternative Label: Cardboard Empire

By Heather Hamilton A&E Editor

Not all wines are created equal, and while Carlo Rossi’s Sweet Red has its ups and downs, it’s a great deal for your dollar — and your sweet tooth.

The wine is a rich, ruby red color when held up to the light, and the nose is riddled with floral aromas that tease and tantalize.

But until the tip hits your tongue, there’s no real warning to just how sweet this wine is. Even its name sounds too tame a descriptor once you’ve gotten a taste.

The Sweet Red is sweet to a fault. For the first few sips, you’ll honestly wonder if you’re at risk of going into a sugar coma; it will take you a second or third glass before your tongue grows used to it enough for you to really enjoy the wine. Once you reach that point, you’re finally able to taste a distinct fruitiness in the wine, and the flavor starts to take on a tartness at the back of your throat

when swallowed, like it typically should (in varying degrees).

Once you’re accustomed to the sweetness, you’ll be able to detect a comfortable weight to the wine as it rests on your tongue, neither too heavy or too light, and despite the residual tartness, it’s hard to recognize the taste of alcohol in the beverage until you’re already somewhat inebriated. This makes it a dangerous wine that is easy to disregard.

For roughly $16 at Brown Jug, you can get a four-liter jug of the wine, so don’t purchase it unless you plan on sharing it. And while it is an amazing wine for those who like sweet things, for those who don’t it is borderline inedible.

Drink at your own risk.

Wine: Sweet Red Vineyard: Carlo Rossi Vineyards Rating: 3

MOVIE REVIEW

‘Prometheus’ unworthy of the hype it generates The latest Ridley Scott movie fails to capture and stimulate audiences

By Heather Hamilton A&E Editor

It’s been months since the hype for “Prometheus” first started taking root, and as the release date neared, it only intensified; opening weekend saw a 900 percent increase in popularity on IMDB, which is quite a jump even for such an anticipated release. Unfortunately, as good as the movie is, it doesn’t live up to expectations.

“Prometheus” follows the story of a group of scientists who stumble across a clue about the origins of mankind, and who then take a journey to another world to find answers. When they get there, they stumble across answers that lead to even more questions and an old plot to destroy the human race that is about to be set in motion.

Let’s start by listing the things

that “Prometheus” does right.

One, it questions and challenges religion, but still leaves room for it to happily exist. The idea is that the human race was created by aliens, but the movie leaves room for the question, “Who created them?” It also utilizes a main character who is both a scientist as well as a believer, creating a happy medium that lessens the potential controversy.

Next, Charlize Theron (“Snow White and the Huntsman”) plays a cold, heartless prick that you love to hate but still recognize as human. Her character is, essentially, the head honcho of the expedition, but she floats somewhere between being a minor character and a main protagonist. Despite this, and her less than expressive disposition, Theron gives her a burst of life in the few times she expresses emotion that seems both genuine and extreme at the same time. It is surprisingly palatable.

The third thing that the movie does well is the alien design (the species is nicknamed “Engineers”). It is just human enough to make the audience feel uncomfortable with them but different enough that we

still look at them as the “other” being. The design creates mixed feelings about them, and their relation to the human race, and the unbalanced feeling aids in the movie’s atmosphere.

What “Prometheus” does wrong is all in the writing. First of all, the scientists who all go on this trip have a briefing meeting about their mission after they come out of stasis chambers, where they have been sleeping through their deep space journey for over two years. Except for the two scientists who discovered the clues, a life-like android, and Theron’s character, no one else knows a thing about the mission.

Really? All these other scientists just agreed to go on what would amount to an over five-year trip in space for science, but not know why first? Even the ship’s captain didn’t know. How much sense does that make?

Next ... well, “next” will have to wait until you see the movie, because every other messed up thing about the writing directly involves main plot points and would ruin the story. What can be said is that “Prometheus” leaves itself wide open for a sequel. The movie generates a few answers

here and there but ultimately refuses to explain anything of actual importance, and with an ending that almost demands a continuation of the story, we are left to assume this was done intentionally.

However, if there is no sequel, then there is absolutely no point to “Prometheus” at all. As a standalone movie, it is visually decent and interesting to watch,

but it is so jumbled and random that you’re better off waiting until it’s on DVD to see it.

Movie: “Prometheus” Genre: Action, horror, Sci-Fi Release Date: June 8, 2012 Director: Ridley Scott Starring: Noomi Rapace, Michael Fassbender, Logan MarshallGreen Rating: 2

06

TNL

A&E| June 12, 2012

Lowering inhibitions through gentle suggestion, comedy hypnosis shows

Jay Her’s latest show will be open to audiences under 21

PHOTO BY TEDDY JONES

By Heather Hamilton A&E Editor

You ruffle your feathers, flap your wings, make the face that people make fun of on Facebook; yes, you’re a duck, or at least pretending to be one while under hypnosis.

Jay Hawj is the AMP (Anchorage MPowerment Project) facilitator at the Alaskan AIDS Assistance Association; he is also a stage hypnotist (under the name of Jay Her) who has been putting on comedy hypnosis shows in Anchorage for the past four years.

“It’s me talking to people, and I give them enough information to where their mind just goes really relaxed. Once that happens, whatever I say from that point on just feels like the right thing to do,” explained Her. Her began studying hypnosis in his home state of California in 2004 after attending a comedy hypnosis show at an entertainment conference. He began taking classes and performed his first show (to an audience of 10) later that same year.

“I still remember that first show; it was really just for friends and family,” said Her. “But I still remember the first person who got hypnotized; she was Mariah Carey, a race car driver, and everything else we had her do.”

Colleen Crinklaw, a local comedian, has attended four of Her’s shows since he began performing them in Anchorage in 2008, and was even hypnotized at one of them.

“Everybody on stage was a zombie at one point; I think I bit somebody,” said Crinklaw.

According to Her, no one can be hypnotized unless they want to; he explains this to his audience at the beginning of each show as he performs exercises with the crowd to help them better understand the process.

“If you don’t want to do anything, it’s not going to happen,” said Her. “If they go on stage and do happen to get hypnotized, and

they are asked to do something that they don’t want to do, chances are, they won’t.”

From there, Her selects volunteers from the audience to participate in the show as his cast and immediately begins the process of putting them under deep hypnosis. Once they are there, the comedy aspect of the show kicks in.

“It’s not so much that he’s making you do something that you don’t want to do, it’s more like he’s encouraging you to say the things that you would have said if had absolutely no inhibitions,” said Crinklaw.

Crinklaw remembers her time under hypnosis, but didn’t immediately upon coming out of it. It wasn’t until after friends began describing what she’d done that she recalled anything.

“When I first came out from under it, I didn’t remember anything that had happened until somebody told me what I did, and then I remembered everything,” she said. “I remember the things that I did, but I don’t really remember experiencing them.”

Her explains that, eventually, everyone remembers what happens while they are under hypnosis.

“It’s kind of like that feeling of when you’re super tired and

you don’t remember what you’re talking about, or are kind of drunk to the point where the night’s kind of hazy. You don’t remember too much, but as people begin to talk about it...it starts to come back to you,” he said.

Most of Her’s shows in Alaska have been in bars, but he has performed under 21 friendly shows as well. His next one will be at the Wilda Marston Theater located in the Loussac Library on Saturday, June 16. Her explains that while he has a particular goal in mind for the show (being relatively family friendly), it is impossible to know exactly where the show will go by the time it is over.

“I shoot for a more family friendly, family oriented show; it’s kind of pushing it, since it is a comedy hypnosis show, so you kind of anticipate some stuff,” said Her. “But, it’s not as crazy, we don’t get people stripping down to their leopard print underwear and giving blow jobs to chair legs and stuff.”

Jay Her’s Saturday, June 16 show will open doors at 7:15 p.m. and begin at 8 p.m.. Pre-sale tickets are available online for $15 at his website, www.jayher.com.

Tickets will be $20 at the door.

OPINION

June 12, 2012

The Northern Light

OPINION

Options in anti-capitalist economic reform If capitalism isn’t the best way to go, then what is?

By Cody Edwards Contributor

In my last opinion piece, I identified the problem I believed confronted Americans at the present moment: capitalism. I asserted that Obama and Romney, aside from not being able to do anything about the problem, have very similar platforms. Okay. I ranted, I raved, I polemicized against the Man and capitalism like so many college students have before. Now, the question remains — if capitalism is the problem, then what are we to do about it?

That’s a tough question to adequately answer because it requires me to provide prescriptions for something that is much bigger than me, both mentally and physically, and whose facets and contours are simply beyond my full comprehension. But whatever. I’ll give it a try anyway.

Off the top of my head, there are three possible solutions to the problem of capitalism: welfare state, social-democracy, and socialism. Some are more possible than others, depending on how threatening they are to the status quo.

What most Americans would be familiar with when thinking

of the welfare state is a system in which capitalism prevails but the ragged edges of which are smoothed over by ameliorative government programs, such as unemployment insurance for the unemployed, food stamps for the poor, and social security for the elderly. In other words, think of the “social safety net.” The welfare state, however, rests on a precariously thin foundation with a wrecking ball constantly hanging overhead. Capitalists, always thoughtful of potential investment opportunities, have recently targeted some welfare programs for privatization. The last Bush administration rode this hobbyhorse for years by trying to privatize social security along the lines of Chile’s model. His administration was, thankfully, unsuccessful in this endeavor.

Social democracy is better.

Although, it also has a way of making me go, “Meh.” It reminds me of those people who get really excited about doing something important, but when comes time to actually doing it, only half the effort and half the enthusiasm are expended — so in that regard, you can think of me as a little social democratic entity in many ways. Actually,

don’t. We’ll talk about that later.

Anyway, social democracy adopts the ameliorative elements of the welfare state but makes an effort to equalize opportunities by providing everyone with free education, free healthcare, and generous maternity leave. The economy is market-based but mixed and riddled with various types of regulations. This system is more advantageous than the welfare state in that it attempts to subordinate capitalist values to other social values, like the social and physical wellbeing of the citizenry.

Another potential solution to capitalist conundrum is socialism.

Oh my god, I said it, didn’t I. The “S” word. I might as well open the Gulags right now. Before I define it, please catch your breath.

Socialism is usually defined as an economic and social system in which the primary means of production (e.g. factories and banks) are socially owned by way of the state. Centralization of economic affairs and some level of economic planning are characteristics of socialism. Good and fine. There’s your textbook definition. But that definition unduly restricts what can be accomplished by contemporary

socialists. Socialist values of cooperation and equality and full human development do not necessarily require centrally planned economies. The late Paul Sweezy, notable American Marxist economist and founding editor of Monthly Review magazine, defined socialism in a 1999 interview as simply the opposite or alternative to capitalism. His admittedly broad definition gives breathing room to socialists like Michael Albert, whose participatory economics project stands in contrast to the rigid, centrally planned economies of the past.

As you fill your beautiful Alaskan summer hours in the classroom, grinding through math problems in the hopes of receiving a degree that will make you marginally more marketable in the labor market, all the while working a full-time job, at least try to imagine something different, a world where the bitter and humiliating frustrations of work are partially eliminated.

Hopefully, my incomplete list of solutions will get the juices flowing.

Why Juneteenth is more than just a BBQ

The reason why UAA throws a big party in the middle of June Collard greens, barbecued chicken, peach cobbler — combine these soul foods and some blues or jazz music with a large group of people, and you’ve got a Juneteenth festival.

For several years, UAA and Anchorage have hosted multiple Juneteenth celebrations the week of June 19, and after listening to live music and eating more food than is probably healthy, everyone goes home happy and looking forward to next June when they get to do it all again. But what’s the point? What is Juneteenth, and why do we celebrate it?

If you don’t know the answer, you’re not alone. Most people don’t seem to have a clue what Juneteenth is all about, and that really is a shame, because it’s more than worth celebrating.

On June 19, 1865, Union soldiers led by Major General Gordon Granger arrived in Galveston, Texas, proclaiming that the Civil War was over and that the slaves were all free. The slaves, understandably so, were shocked and excited over the news, and while some remained with their masters to work for wages, others left immediately to mend scattered families and start new lives for themselves. Juneteenth

became a festival celebrating this new freedom.

The unique and most interesting part of this is that the announcement that sparked the joy and celebrations came two and a half years after President Lincoln’s Emancipation Proclamation went into effect on January 1, 1863.

There are many theories as to what delayed the enforcement in Texas, ranging from the lack of a Union foothold in the state until after the war down to the rumor that a messenger was murdered on the way to deliver the news to Texas.

No matter what happened though, the slaves were still legally free two and a half years before they were made aware of it.

How many of you knew that? Most people think that enforcement of the Emancipation Proclamation was immediate, and that slaves began walking off the plantations just as soon as they heard the news; in Texas, that couldn’t have been further from the truth. And unless you take the time to read the small print on the Juneteenth posters around campus or are curious enough to look it up online, you might never know the truth about this important time in American history: the day that slaves really became free.

UAA Student Activities does a great job with the annual Juneteenth barbecue and concert, but unless students are paying close attention, they can completely miss the point of it all, and that’s not fair to either Student Activities or the students, because so much hard work and planning goes into organizing the events.

TNL challenges Student Activities to up the educational ante on next year’s Juneteenth celebration: hold a public forum

07

before the barbecue, schedule a guest speaker or even hand out informational pamphlets at the events themselves. All the hard work put into Juneteenth is worth more than students just showing up for free food and music; we should be assaulted with the knowledge of why Juneteenth is so important if we want to enjoy the results of your efforts.

3211 Providence Drive Student Union 113 Anchorage, AK 99508 Phone: 907-786-1513 Fax: 907-786-1331 info@thenorthernlight.org

EXECUTIVE EDITOR 786-1434 editor@thenorthernlight.org Vacant MANAGING EDITOR 786-1313 content@thenorthernlight.org Vacant COPY EDITOR copy1@thenorthernlight.org Kierra Hammons NEWS EDITOR 786-1576 news@thenorthernlight.org Evan Dodd FEATURES EDITOR 786-1576 features@thenorthernlight.org Vacant A&E EDITOR 786-1512 arts@thenorthernlight.org Heather Hamilton SPORTS EDITOR 786-1512 sports@thenorthernlight.org Vacant PHOTO EDITOR 786-1565 photo@thenorthernlight.org Krystal Garrisonl WEB EDITOR 786-1506 web@thenorthernlight.org vacant LAYOUT EDITOR layout@thenorthernlight.org Nick Foote ASSISTANT NEWS EDITOR news2@thenorthernlight.org Vacant ASSISTANT FEATURES EDITOR features2@thenorthernlight.org Vacant ASSISTANT A&E EDITOR arts2@thenorthernlight.org Vacant ASSISTANT SPORTS EDITOR sports2@thenorthernlight.org Ashley Smith GRAPHIC DESIGNER graphics2@thenorthernlight.org Vacant ADVERTISING MANAGER 786-4690 ads@thenorthernlight.org Mariya Proskuryakova ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVE Vacant MULTIMEDIA EDITOR multimedia@thenorthernlight.org Vicente Capala STAFF REPORTERS staff@thenorthernlight.org CONTRIBUTORS Cody Edwards MEDIA ADVISER Paola Banchero ADMINISTRATIVE ADVISER Annie Route

The Northern Light is a proud member of the ASSOCIATED COLLEGIATE PRESS. The Northern Light is a weekly UAA publication funded by student fees and advertising sales.

The editors and writers of The Northern Light are solely responsible for its contents. Circulation is 5,000. The University of Alaska Anchorage provides equal education and employment opportunities for all, regardless of race, color, religion, national origin, age, sex, Vietnam-era or disabled-veteran status, physical or mental disability, changes in marital status, pregnancy, or parenthood.

The views expressed in the opinion section do not necessarily reflect the views of UAA or The Northern Light.­­­