The Non Perfect Parents Club Magazine Summer 2021

The NON PERFECT

Parents CLUB Your guide to Parenting...

Summer 2021

ISSUE #1 FREE

NO JUDGEMENT

JUST SUPPORT

Hello...

Welcome to the VERY FIRST edition of The Non Perfect Parents Club MAGAZINE! I'm so excited to be sharing this with you, but I am also shitting it now it's REAL!!!

I haven't produced anything like this before so please excuse any imperfections. I am literally starting from scratch but that means it's just going to keep getting better and better right?!

For anyone that doesn't know me, I'm Emma, a Mama of 2 girls from a little seaside town called Morecambe. I am also the founder, creator or whatever you want to call it of The Non Perfect Parents Club.

I'm going to fill you in on what that is all about, but the main thing you need to know is that every parent is welcome, as long as you stick to the only rule: NO JUDGEMENT, just support.

As you turn the pages of this magazine I want you to feel less alone and be able to relate to the words on the pages. I want it to feel like that friend who has always got your back; the one with the no shit attitude that will tell it how it is but ALWAYS has your best interests at heart.

I want it to feel like a big warm hug on a bad day and your cheerleader on a good day. I want it to feel like YOUR village.

I also want this to be a little bit of time out for you... whether that's actually taking some time away from your family or whether that's zoning out from the noise whilst you sit with a brew and have a flick through.

Here goes...

Whilst every care has been taken to ensure that the information in this publication is accurate. neither the editor nor the contributors can accept or hereby disclaim any liability to any party for loss or damage caused by errors or omissions resulting from negligence, accident or any other cause.

The Non Perfect Parents Club does not officially endorse any advertising material included within this publication.

Articles and advertisements are for information only.

No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form- electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise without prior permission from the editor.

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Contents 4 6 8 10 13 14 15 16 18 21 22 24 26 27 28 30 32 33 34 35 36 37 38

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What it's all about... An introduction to The Non Perfect Parents Club 'That post'... The one that went Viral Why we need a village It's all about me... Thinking about what self care really is.

Team Dad Becoming a parent Our Adoption Story... Parent Feature Pregnancy The Great Outdoors Memories to make this Summer A Day in the Life of... Parent Feature What's your Style... Parent Feature Storage Ideas Cleaning Playlist 10 Books that should be on your child's bookshelf Activities of the Summer Playdough Communication with older kids Poverty isn't visible... Parent Feature Where to find us Florrie's Story... Parent Feature Remembering you Always Parent Directory

The Non Perfect Parents Club

What it's all about I can't even remember when it all began, but I was one of the first of my (then) friends to have a baby. At that time I was a manger of a toddler room in a private day nursery so had plenty of experience in changing nappies, making bottles, daily routines and knew all about child development. But as we all know, parenting is SO much more than that!

I didn't have much support, especially emotionally and found that everyone told you the good bits about parenting but when it came to acknowledging the hard parts, it's like you weren't allowed to. Online, everything was a minefield and so judgemental- everything you looked at had parents arguing and adamant their way was right.

Gradually friends started having babies and through conversations I found I was offering advice but not in the preachy way I was seeing everywhere else, I did my best to offer it in a supportive way. Something I've always been and always am conscious of is being helpful rather than running my mouth like a know it all.

I'm constantly analysing myself as to why I have this need to support and help people and it always comes down to this; I can't bear the thought of parents struggling alone, worrying and second guessing themselves... feeling how I did so many times. Having no-one to call on because everyone was busy.

And I so desperately want to change the parenting world to be how it needs to be... to give us a better understanding of ourselves and our kids so we can feel more confident as parents. With this confidence our kids will also benefit and we'll live happily ever after- not! Haha! But you get my jist right?

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So this is when I decided to start a group on Facebook for parents, aiming to support and empower them. But unlike, seemingly, the rest of the internet I was determined my group was going to be all inclusive- all parents welcome and there was one rule: NO JUDGEMENT ALLOWED. The other thing I was determined to do was keep it real; be honest and acknowledge the lows as well as the highs.

The Non Perfect Parents Club was born.

After a while I changed my Facebook page, which I was using as a parenting blog to The Non Perfect Parents Club and began to write about my parenting experiences and thoughts with the same ethos. I talked about lots of those feelings you get as a parent which most of us are scared to admit because we think we're alone (we're not) and I also started openly talking about my mental health; a daily battle with anxiety.

From there my Facebook group and page have grown and grown... one of my posts went viral and my page BLEW up overnight... and I continue to support parents without judgement and encourage others to do the same. I continue to be honest, real and open about parenting and talk about my feelings to help other parents know they're not on their own. I constantly try to raise awareness of mental health and try to bring people together. I want everyone to feel welcome, to feel seen and to feel able to speak their truth.

I want to be the person I needed 9/10 years ago.

The Non Perfect Parents Club catches parents before they fall, and if they've already fallen we lift them back up. If they need us to sit with them for a while then that's what we do.

EVERYONE MATTERS! 5

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Say bye to my husband as he goes out to work. Take the eldest to school.

Just me and the 2 year old again. Alone.

What shall we do today? All alone.

Farm? Soft play? The park? Just us. I wonder if anyone fancies a brew?!

But who is there to call?

I’ll just do some jobs, have a brew. What time is it?

Shall we head out and get back for dinner?

Where shall we go? Just us.

The loneliness creeps in. Should I ring my husband? No he’s busy at work, I mustn’t disturb him. Who shall I message?

I’ll just scroll Facebook and maybe the gram.

See if anyone’s about.

Should I message that mum from school? No she’ll be busy. You only know her to chat to, will she even want a brew?

We play some games. Read a book. Shall we watch some telly? I’ll just scroll Facebook again... get some contact with the world.

Something other than these 4 walls.

Now it’s dinner time. Maybe someone will be around after school?

Hi are you in this aft? x No sorry.

Ok x Why what’s up?

Nothing (not strictly true), was just seeing if you were free for a brew. x No I’m not sorry.

Hi what you up2?

Just in town..

Ahh ok.

Why?

Just seeing if you were in and fancied a brew Are you home?

No I’m at work.

It’s just me, the toddler and these 4 walls today.

There’s always tomorrow. No-one messages, maybe it’s me. Maybe no-one wants to meet us.

It’s ok. I’m ok. No adult company today. The loneliness is creeping in.

We pick the eldest up from school. If I’m lucky there might be a parent about for a chat. Only I can’t hold a full conversation as the youngest is clinging off me, running about. I need to keep my eye on her.

We go home and there’s now 2 little voices to contend with. By the time my husband gets home from work, we’re eating tea. He joins us.

We chat about nothing much. I’m exhausted.

Exhausted from being lonely.

There’s always tomorrow for some company.

The days blur. The loneliness sinks in. So much so that even after you’ve had company, you still feel lonely.

You stop asking if people are free. You stick to the 4 walls, your kids and your brew.

It’s the loneliness that numbs my brain. Does it numb anyone else’s? No conversations to make me think, to make my brain whir.

I forget how to interact with people. I can’t make new friends. The ones I’ve got don’t have time to meet up, why would anybody new? It’s ok. I’m ok.

The loneliness sinks deeper into my skin .There’s always tomorrow.

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When you're spinning all the plates in the daily grind it's SO easy to get

LOST.

We give our all to our kids, our family Making sure we're doing it all

'RIGHT' and the best we can.

So many of us are suffering from anxiety and other issues that kick us to the kerb and it's so fucking tough to get back up again.

BUT YOU CAN. You can get back up and keep on getting up.

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Why we need a Village...

'It takes a Village to raise a child!'

Some of you will turn your noses up at that quote- I've seen so many comments from Mums saying they prefer to be alone, they'd rather be with their child, they don't need anyone and I'm sorry but I'm calling bullshit. That is a straight out defence mechanism for being scared of rejection. Because Mums are cliquey.

And if it's not bullshit- I get it, none of us want the drama- but it's unhealthy. For the simple reason that we're still people too, past that title of Mum and when our kids are grown and we send them off out into the world, we are then left all alone.

I don't think we were ever meant to raise our children alone, with no support.

Modern day society has become so isolated. Family spread all over the globe for some people and close relationships with neighbours often being a thing of the past. We keep ourselves to ourselves.

We try to do it all and do it alone. It's not impossible but it's hard work- mentally and physically and it wears us down.

Over time we've become conditioned to

think that asking for help is weak.

That it makes us a failure and we should feel guilty for putting what is our responsibility onto someone else, when that's simply not true.

Our busy lifestyles, that are getting busier and busier, also make us feel like we have no time for a village. But what if those villages are our key to survival?

It offers physical and emotional support. It gives you somewhere to share the highs and the lows. It offers knowledge in your hour of need. It offers back up for your children.

It shares the responsibility.

We need that more than ever.

So take a deep breath and open the gates, stop holding people at arms length, stop being frightened to ask for help and welcome people into your life. Take the first step- if it's not reciprocated, they're not YOUR people.

Your kids will thank you for it!

The Non Perfect Parents Club

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It's all about me...

SELF CARE.

D-D-DERRRRR... Did you flinch when you read that? Or did you get that smug little feeling of 'oh yes, I do self care regularly' ?

It's a subject we all think we're well versed in, but in reality most of us are really not.

Somehow we've transitioned into this idea of self care being things like doing the food shop on our own or an uninterrupted shower.

But aren't things like this basic necessities?

And in a world where parents have more responsibilities and pressure piled on them than ever before, real self care- however that looks to you- is so desperately needed to keep us sane!

So often we burn out before we acknowledge that we need to stop and take a break. But it's about time we did stop and realise how important WE are.

Self Care is knowing when to take a break and actually doing that. It can be as simple as telling yourself it's ok to stop. Or I've done enough... I can't do anymore today. It's not shouldering all the responsibility. It's prioritising yourself- not all the time (because, you know, kids!) but when you need to.

It's looking after yourself and finding those sparkling moments in each day.

It's finding the things that make you feel human, like an individual and getting what you need to feel valued, content and happy.

so...

What 'sparks joy' for you?

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Self Care Checklist Every time you feel guilty for doing something for you, remind yourself you are important and your needs aren't luxuries, they're necessities!

Here are a few ideas of things you can do regularly to make sure you're getting that self care time in!

Tell yourself every morning 'I am Important'.

Think about who you are and who you want to be.

Write down your strengths and weaknesses- 'celebrate' both! Say them out loud.

Have an uninterrupted shower/bath.

Go for a walk. Take pictures of things you see and like along the way.

Do some yoga or exercise.

Journaling; write whatever comes into your head!

Make a feel good playlist and actually listen to it!

Dance.

Read a book or magazine... (ahem).

Learn something new.

Reminisce on happy moments that make you smile/ laugh.

Do something creative.

Find a new recipe and make it.

Make a vision board.

Do a hair mask/ face mask.

Paint your nails.

RING a friend.

Find a new hobby or restart an old one.

Ask for help.

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Good Morning, Good Evening, Welcome and Good day.

My Name is Graham and I am one of the directors of Team Dad and Team Kickabout.

I thought my first go of writing should be an introduction to me and my groups and what I plan to do in these articles.

I am a 40-year-old Husband and a Dad to my 4 year old Princess. I’m certainly not husband and dad of the year but I will speak from the heart and hopefully give a few articles from a dad’s eye.

So, my groups all focus around Dads groups; Team dad is based on Facebook and is a Peer to Peer support group where dads can join in, read posts, ask for help and get signposted if needed. Its all about creating a community and the dads already in there are a really good bunch. We have discussions about movies/ cars/ diy/ business networking and loads more, and I will be asking these dads for ideas to write about.

Oh and no professional or mums allowed, it’s a group made by dads just for dads!

My other group is called Team kickabout and is a Community interest company.

This is focused on bringing the game of football back to fun. Its noncompetitive and aimed mainly at those who struggle to play because of anxiety, fitness or just not good enough to play in a team. We want to get those dads out there and playing weekly to improve their fitness and mental health too.

Both my groups are for Dads, Step dads, grandads, male guardians.

Basically, anyone who is a Father figure to someone.

I couldn’t have created these groups without the help and support of my Wife Nikki and business partner Peter Brooks. Without these two none of this would be possible.

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www.facebook.com/TeamDadUk www.facebook.com/TeamKickabout

Becoming a Parent When you embark on your journey to become a parent, however that journey may look- because I think it's important to note that it's not the same for everyone- there's this 'thing' where we can only speak of the good. Like we'll frighten prospective parents off by telling the truth.

But I think it's important that we speak truthfully (it's important that we start to realise that truthfully doesn't mean it's bad) because becoming a parent isn't something that should be taken lightly.

For me, having kids isn't something you just do anymore.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO HAVE KIDS. And, it's not always easy to have kids. Unlike we're led to believe.

Being a parent is a life long commitment. That seems obvious right?! But I think the key part is realising the intensity of that life long commitment.

You NEVER stop being a parent. EVER. And you can't just change your mind when it gets tough. You can't quit.

I wonder how many people would change their minds about becoming a parent if they consciously thought about that beforehand?

It's totally against 'the rules' for any parent to say they don't enjoy being a parent or that they regret having kids but there are many that feel this way. That doesn't mean that they don't love their kids- they do. It's a love like no other. But it's not as clean cut as having a baby and skipping through life blissfully happy.

It's hard.

There needs to be more truths. Less frowning when feelings are talked about and honesty is shared. Less brushing it off and ignoring it. No fakery on social media and in the media. Picture perfect should be perfect because it's ours. Not based on how it looks from the outside in.

Don't ever be afraid to speak your truths, that little bit of honesty might be someone else's saviour!

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Our Adoption Story I'm pretty sure that when most people think of starting their family with their partner they don't think about adoption first. I dreamed of falling pregnant, finding out together and announcing to excited family and friends, worrying about giving birth while feeling a bump and tiny human grow but that wasn't to be. We knew early on that bringing children into our family may be a different path to most but we hoped with the help of specialist fertility services we would become parents in all the usual ways.

We got married, holidayed and enjoyed newly wed life and then we started talking to specialists. We underwent tests and proding to find out where we were up to.

Fast forward 3 years and we were tired of the appointments, of the disappointments and the lack of tiny people in our lives (I was also tired of pretending to be happy at baby showers and christenings of babies of friends and family members).

We started thinking about our other options to start our family, donors and surrogates were discussed but for many reasons weren't right for us and 15

this made us think if our children were going to be biologically only part of one of us and each of us felt so strongly about being able to love our children without a biological link then do we need any biological link at all?

One thing I did know was that if a little person was coming into our lives I needed it to be permanent after the last few years of heartache so fostering wasn't for us. Next we spoke to adopters we knew and were put in touch with by friends, read up on adoption and met with a charity who facilitates adoption).

Adoption is not for the faint hearted.

It's gruelling mentally and emotionally.

It's intrusive. We sailed through the process making all of the necessary adjustments to our lives along the way and went to panel and were approved as adopters for two children under the age of 5 years. This is where it all gets very weirdly like buying a house or being on a dating site - weird but true!

We then set eyes on our two and did not stop thinking of them from that moment! We knew they were our children. The ones we had been looking for all this time.

Read the full story at www.thenonperfectparentsclub.weebly.com

Pregnancy Where do you start?

So you're pregnant... Is this exciting? Or are you petrified? You might be both!

Whether this is your first baby or whether you've already got kids, you'll have expectations of what's to come. Let go of those right now because nothing ever goes as planned and that continues even when baby's here!

Your life is about to be flipped upside down for the most amazing reason.

First of all, you're not JUST a baby growing vessel. You're still a person too. It does still matter how you feel and every complaint is warranted.

There seems to be this 'thing' that when you're pregnant you have to enjoy it and be glowing, blooming and loving life.

May you speak no evils that your unborn baby can hear or feel from the womb (I can hear all the grannies inhaling in shock at that) like you don't enjoy being pregnant!

It's okay to not enjoy being pregnant.

It doesn't mean you don't or aren't going to love your baby.

And if you do enjoy being pregnant and are glowing and blooming, it's ok to say that too. Take lots of pictures so you can look back on your loveliness once your child sucks every last bit of energy from your soul... 😜 It's also okay to not let people touch your bump without permission. This doesn't make you a dick. Personal space boundaries still apply believe it or not!

Don't ever feel silly asking anyone questions during your pregnancy- you wont be the first OR the last to ask!! And, it's SO important that you don't ever ignore reduced movements. It's always better to speak to someone or get checked out.

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Next up, if you don't already, learn to trust your judgement- your gut instinct.

You will need this throughout your child's whole, entire life. There will be many times where people, including professionals, will try to reassure you or make you feel like a crazy overbearing parent and your gut instinct alarm will be screaming at you and you will ignore it.... only to find you were right all along.

You're also probably going to be bombarded with opinions from family, friends and people in the supermarket..! Some of it will be helpful, some most definitely not. It's always good to hear lots of different opinions to give you plenty of ideas but don't feel like you have to cave in to other people's demands or beliefs just because they've offered you some information. Ignore the raised eyebrows, the "well I did it like this so you should too" comments and as I mentioned above, trust your instinct.

Different things work for different families (this is very important to remember) so don't be scared to sack a piece of advice off if it doesn't work for you!

Prepare for your emotions to go off the scale; up and down! And if you think these new emotions are just your hormones and they'll disappear once baby is here, you're wrong! They're here to stay!

Don't ever hide them away- if you think how you're feeling isn't 'normal', speak out! Chances are they are the 'norm' but if not, please seek help. It doesn't make you a bad person or a failure- it's far more common than you think!

Great places to look for support on Facebook include: @tommy's @kickscount @PANDASFoundation @associationforpostnatalillness 17

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THE GREAT OUTDOORS At the start of this year, I came across a Facebook page '1000 hours outside' and as one of the things we as a family (well maybe not my youngest) want to do this year is spend more time outdoors, of course it got my attention.

1000 hours is alot for some of us- it breaks down to roughly 3 hours a day, which my family personally are never going to do but it's a pretty good place to start. And, there are free printable trackers which means accountability... something I need!

The idea behind the 1000 hours outdoors is to match screen time with 'nature time'. To show a different way to live family life, putting time outside first.

Go take a look at their Facebook page '1000 Hours Outside' or their website www.1000hoursoutside.com I think any time spent outside is a bonus- fresh air tiring the kids out! It's also great for us parents, for clearing the mind and I find it so much easier to interact with the kids outside- no distractions.... well maybe some whinging in our case... but I love exploring with the kids, pointing out things in nature and encouraging them to learn about what they find.

This is something my Dad has a fountain of knowledge on and it's stayed with me. Whilst I don't quite have his knowledge it's something I want to pass on to my girls- to look for it... or remember what they find and ask Grandad!

We're lucky where we live that there's lots of nature available; the beach, countryside and the lake district but even things like going out on a scavenger hunt is time outside and can be lots of fun.

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Find out more on our website: www.thenonperfectparentsclub.weebly.com

Here is something I put together for my girls to encourage them to get outdoors. This was a joint Christmas present, inspired by Danielle from Red Beau arts and crafts shop. They love exploring so now they can be keen explorers with all the gear and hopefully much more of an idea than me!!

A Den Kit Here's what ours includes: - Magnifying Glass: Amazon £6.69 - 2x Small Torch (one each) Amazon £8.99 - Brass Compass: Mountain Warehouse £6.99 - Binoculars: Mountain Warehouse £12.99 -Tarpaulin sheet (waterproof for all weathers: 3m x 3m): Amazon £9.99 - Rope: Washing line rope: Amazon £4.36 - Plastic spring clamps (x10): Amazon £5.95 - Tent pegs (pack of 10): Amazon £2.72 -Mindfulness Scavenger Hunt Cards: Amazon £6.95 - 10L Drybag (again so the whole kit can be used all weathers!): Mountain Warehouse £6.49 TOTAL COST: £72.12 Obviously you can spend as little or as much as you want- I wanted to buy actual equipment rather than toy ones and choose things that I knew the girls would use when exploring. I would love to see your homemade den kits!

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Memories to make this Summer - Park Tours; Visit as many local parks as you can and rate them out of 10.

-Watch the sunset.

- Collect rocks or shells from the beach.

- Make a fire and toast marshmallows.

- Go fruit picking.

- Go camping- even if its in your back garden.

- Have a FAMILY waterfight.

- Fly a kite.

- Make homemade lemonade.

- Go stargazing.

- Look for wildlife at night.

- Build a den.

- Go for a car boot picnic; Find somewhere where you can park up, set up the boot with blankets and cushions and enjoy dinner, tea or maybe an ice cream whilst all snuggled up together.

- Play 'pooh sticks'; find a stick each, drop it off one side of a bridge and run to the other side to see who's floats through first.

- Visit an arcade.

- Go to a place you've wanted to go to all year!

- Go paddling.

- Film your summer and edit it together to make a movie!

- Pack a bag of supplies and set off on a bike ride. Don't return until dusk.

- Let the kids cook tea from scratch.

- Have a bbq.

- Explore on a walk you've not been on before.

- Teach your kids something from your childhood (E.G. Kerby).

- Have a games night outside.

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A Day in the Life of...

Who better to kick this off than me!

Emma from The Non Perfect Parents Club What time do you wake up and how do you start your day? On a week day my alarm goes off at 6.30am and I snooze it for half an hour before dragging myself out of bed to get dressed and ready for the day.

On a weekend I can wake any time between 7.30am and 9.30am- we're the worst at getting up when we have no plans, so the first thing I do is pick up my brew that my husband brings me up before he leaves for work (my favourite part of the day- the brew not my husband leaving for work!!) and check my phone. This is quite often when I'll sit and write posts for the page!

What does your typical day look like? It depends on what day it is as to whether I'm working, looking after my nephew or if the girls are at home.

When Bunny started school in September, I made sure I kept one day a week free and all to myself because I've not had that since having kids.

What do mealtimes look like in your house? We all sit round the table to eat (because my children are animals!!!) and usually all together unless, like dinnertime, my husband is at work. I think mealtimes are the most structured part of our day. I generally make the same evening meal for everyone and I think my most used comment is "USE YOUR MANNERS PLEASE!" How does the kids bedtime routine go? I dread bedtimes! By this point I'm exhausted and am past the point of being able to be patient with the girls' The Non Perfect Parents Club

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bedtime antics, and I'm often working. So my husband will usually do bedtimes.

Bunny also plays me up and often wakes up in the night if I put her to bed. The girls get pyjamas on, go to the toilet and do teeth and then whoever's doing bedtime reads Bunny a story. If it's me she gets 1, if it's my husband she gets 3... or as many as she demands! Then cuddles and kisses and she messes about for an eternity. We silently cheer once she's finally gone to sleep!

The Wildcat puts herself to bed now.

What do you do once the kids are in bed? Breathe?! Haha... If I'm not working we'll usually just chill and watch telly. Sometimes I'll catch up on odd jobs or things I want to do but can't get done when the kids are about.

What do you do for YOURSELF during the day? Do you do anything for you as a priority? It depends on the day! On my free day yes! Otherwise, not really BUT I am very aware of having a slow day if I need to and I'm very good at sitting with a brew instead of doing the housework!!!

What's one thing that made you smile today? Seeing the girls get so excited when Bunny's Amazon order arrived! During the last lockdown she has spent about £90 on Barbie doll orders (not all at once- in dribs and drabs)!! BUT it is her own money from Christmas and her birthday and she has done nothing but play Barbie's 24/7 so who am I to say no? ❤ I'm looking for parents to feature in A Day in the Life of. If you would like to get involved and be part of the magazine please email thenonperfectparentsclub@outlook.com 23

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What's

YOUR

style?

Toni from This Mama Style How would you describe your style?

Anything with Doc Martens & a headscarf. But seriously, I guess my style is a bit of a mix really. It’s sort of developed over time, as my confidence (and tattoo collection) has grown I’ve been able to wear more of the things I love. I love boho & vintage, a bit 70s, rock & roll & grunge but still quite feminine. My go to outfit is a floaty dress, my fringed leather jacket, vintage headscarf & a pair of Dr Martens.

Where do you get most of your clothes from?

Charity shops are my go to places, most of my clothes are second hand through choice. I just love the fact that you have to look through the rails for something that is ‘truly you’, rather than what is ‘fashionable’. I’ve found some stunning clothes in charity shops, from vintage dresses to brand new hats from the high street. I always have a list of things I want rather than impulse buying, then I’ll keep my eyes out for anything from my list when I’m browsing the charity shops. Depop & Vinted are also fab for buying gorgeous 2nd hand clothes What’s your favourite brand?

Now there’s a question. I’m not really into any brand as such but I do love the dresses from Nobody’s Child, plus I love the fact that they are a sustainable brand rather than just fast fashion.

Do you follow fashions or have your own style?

It’s taken quite a while for me to find my style & what I love, as opposed to following what everyone else is wearing. I don’t really follow fashion as such, I like what I like & I’ve finally got the confidence to wear what I like.

I finally feel like the me I always should have been.

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Do you go for comfort or look?

I’ve got a degenerative spinal condition so I definitely have to think about comfort but that doesn’t mean that you can’t still rock a fabulous outfit. I can’t wear heels anymore, even if I wanted too but with my style, Dr Martens just seem to match anything I wear. I’ve even worn my docs to a wedding reception. I wore a floor length satin slip dress with my platform Jadon Dr Martens & felt incredible. It was the first time I truly felt like my style really came through instead of wearing the type of dresses we’re normally expected to wear to a wedding reception.

What item is a must in any Mum’s wardrobe?

A few years back I would have said leggings, but it’s too easy to fall into the trap of leggings with everything. Now I’d definitely say a comfy dress. Something you can literally throw on without having to think about the whole outfit.

Has your style changed since becoming a parent?

I’m not sure if parenting changed my style or if it was a general evolution due to my confidence. When my boys were small it was definitely a case of chucking on leggings & a jumper just for ease but as my style developed I realised I have other things in my wardrobe that were just as easy to throw on. I had clothes that just weren’t getting worn so I decided to stop letting those dresses fester in the back of the wardrobe & actually wear them more.

What’s your oldest item of clothing?

I’ve got quite a few older pieces, especially my vintage headscarves, I think they are oldest items as some are from the 60s & 70s. My favourite vintage piece though is a 90s floral dress, just the type I used to wear as a teenager. I can’t believe the 90s are now considered vintage, I feel so old!

Toni, This Mama Style thismama.co.uk Instagram: @thismamastyle 25

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FIND OUR FULL STORAGE IDEA'S CHAT ON THE WEBSITE

Storage Idea's...

TRIED AND TESTED BY OUR TEAM OF MUMS!

How to store the endless amount of toys that seem to take over our living spaces is often a hot topic of parent chat and if I'm honest I love a good organisation system and finding new ways to make it look aesthetically pleasing! So I passed it over to the TNPPC Mag chat group to see what they were rating...

One of our parents loves her bedding box as a toy box- you can chuck everything in and it even doubles up as a coffee table!

One of our parents uses these to store their kid's books in; easy accessible and great for changing the books around to keep the kids interested.

These specific ones are from Homebase

There were lots of votes for the ever popular cubed storage/ kallax style units and this is my personal fave. They're SO versatile with different ways to store your stuff and they hold far more than you'd think!

These look lovely but didn't get a good rating as the open access meant everything got emptied out at once!

Our parent also mentioned that open access doesn't always work for SEN needs as it can be too much to take in at once.

Other popular storage idea's were: - Plastic drawers for arts & craft stuff - Fabric storage basket for baby toys, cuddly toys and dressing up - Storage boxes for outdoor toys in Winter

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Cleaning Playlist You can't beat a bit of music to spur you on when you're cleaning, here's the OFFICIAL TNPPC Cleaning playlist!

Find it on our You Tube channel playlists!

Thursday- Jess Glynne Set You Free- N-Trance 9-5- Dolly Parton Hold on- Wilson Phillips Mama- Jonas Blue Proud Mary- Tina Turner Can't Hold Us- Macklemore Ain't No Mountain High Enough- Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell Head & Heart- Joel Corry x MNEK You've Got The Love- Florence & the Machine The Way You Make Me Feel- Michael Jackson Woman Like Me- Little Mix These Days- Rudimental Flowers- Nathan Dawe Fading Like A Flower- Clubland Classix Girl Like ME- Black Eyed Peas & Shakira Fancy- Iggy Azalea (Parental Advisory) Another One Bites The Dust- Queen Make You Feel My Love- Adele

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Picture books that should be on your child's book shelf 1. We're Going on a Bear Hunt

By Michael Rosen & Helen Oxenbury 2. Dear Zoo

By Rod Campbell 3. Oi Dog

By Kes & Claire Gray and Jim Field 4. There's a Dragon in your Book

By Tom Fletcher 5. Big Red Bath

By Julia Jarman & Adrian Reynolds 6. Handa's Surprise

By Eileen Browne 7. The Tiger Who Came To Tea

By Judith Kerr 8. Dig Dig Digging

By Margaret Mayo & Alex Ayliffe 9. Don't Wake the Bear Hare

By Steve Smallman & Caroline Pedler 10. The Gruffalo

By Julia Donaldson & Axel Scheffler Find more book recommendations on our pinterest The Non Perfect Parents Club

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Find more activity ideas on our pinterest

Activity of the Summer Babies

Toddlers

A Nursery Rhyme Treasure Basket So simple to make- use what you already have and fill a container with items that represent a nursery rhyme. When baby picks the item, you sing the song..

Can be used indoors or outdoors.

Pre-schoolers/KS1...

A Beach scene set up Ideal on a tuff tray, but can be done just on a normal tray or similar!

Have as little or as much fun as you want setting it up and let them use their imagination and creativity to play!

The good old Water and Paintbrush!

A pot, tub or bucket of water and a paintbrush and send them outside to paint! No colour damage, dries quickly on a warm day and it doesn't matter if they spill it on their clothes.

This is one of my favourites!

KS2...

Rock Collecting, Painting or Investigating!

Even collecting your rocks is an activity in itself. Then choose a few to bring home and investigate more- suggest things like researching them, take photos, make a booklet, make structures or let their creativity shine through to paint them.

PLEASE ALWAYS SUPERVISE YOUR CHILDREN. The Non Perfect Parents Club

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Playdough One of mine and my youngest daughter's favourite things to do was, and still is, make playdough together.

It doesn't take long, is really easy to do and always makes me feel like a bit of a 'supermum'! .

1 cup o ff 1 cup o lour f wate r 1/2 cu p of s alt 2x Tbs 2x Tbs p oil p Crea m of t artar ( or 1 sache t)

Just mix all these ingredients in a pan, add food colouring if you want and glitter and cook on low heat, stirring until you feel the mixture start to thicken and stick together I use a tray or I've recently just bought a box like this one below to theme the playdough and offer different 'tools' to explore with.

Why not add some flower cutters, coloured buttons, pom poms, sequins, small plastic bugs and small stones for a nature themed playdough!

I find my daughter plays with the playdough much better and much more independently if I offer a selection of playdough tools rather than all of them!

After a while she will go off and add more cutters and playdough equipment but is happy to do this herself!

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For many parents the pre-teen and teen years are tough, as hormones kick in and everyone struggles to navigate these new emotions. More independence is sought and friends have a much bigger influence than before. Communication isn't always easy and talking can turn into grunts and eye rolls! So here is some inspiration on how to keep conversation light hearted whilst strengthening the foundations for when they want or need to open up.!

Name 3 things that make you happy!

What's had the greatest impact on your life and why?

If you were Prime Minister and needed 3 people to help you, who would you ask and why?

If you could make one rule that everyone in the world had to follow, what would it be?

If I gave you £100 now, what would you spend it on?

Would you rather be able to fly or be invisible?

Of all the things you're learning, what do you think will be the most useful?

Would you rather travel 100 years back in history or 100 years into the future?

Tell me what your perfect day would be like!

Who would you have in the line up for a winning football team?

Ask me a question!

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Poverty isn't visible.

Poverty isn't something you announce in the playground or tweet about tagging your friends.

It's not something to be proud of.

It's embarrassing and it makes you feel like a failure even though surviving each day is succeeding.

Unfortunately, it’s a reality for many families reliant on benefits, be they legacy benefits or Universal Credit.

I originally wrote this piece in December 2017. Sadly, absolutely nothing has changed for the better.

Poverty is running out of money three days before payday. Putting extra blankets on the kids or having a 'sleepover' in your bed because then you don't have to put the heating on.

Cheap instant noodles, weetabix for tea and the whoopsies section at the supermarket being your first port of call. Poverty is ringing your best mate and swapping four jacket potatoes for a couple of toilet rolls. Having her cut your kids' hair in return for a large cake because you can't afford to go to the hairdressers - but you know if it gets any longer one of them will come home with nits. It’s breaking your back carrying the copperpot to cash it in on the coinstar machine. Knowing they

take 7% but you've got no bread or milk, your best mate is out of washing powder and next door has no nappies.

Poverty is living in unsuitable rundown housing where it's a constant worry whether to nag the landlord to do repairs, because if they decide to kick you out, you haven't got two grand to cover the upfront fees to get somewhere new.... but every time it rains you have an indoor water feature and the kids have started to cough. Or, you can just about cover the mortgage but there's nothing left for any type of maintenance and your house is slowly crumbling around you - to the point you actually wish the bank would just get on and repossess it. Poverty is doing an income and expenditure form, and when you get to the section for food shopping, writing in "whatever is left". Utilising the discount food clubs that have cropped up over town, and being on first name terms with the volunteers at the Foodbank.

Poverty is hoping nobody notices, but fearing that they do.

Trina Lowrie, Parent from TNPPC

NON PERFECT The

Parents CLUB

If you've enjoyed reading the FIRST ISSUE, please spread the word far and wide by telling all the parents you know about TNPPC and how to find us!

Where to find us... @thenonperfectparentsclub @the_non_perfect_parents Emma The Non Perfect Parents Club Emma TNPPC

Scan me on your phone camera for the easiest way to find all my links!

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For more information please email thenonperfectparentsclub@outlook.com or get in touch via our Facebook page.

Next Issue...

Out 1st Sept 2021

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Autumn

Florrie's Story We were on a journey.. me, my husband and our 7 year old daughter, ready and waiting to welcome and love Florrie with all our hearts.

We were taking weekly photos of 'bump', to give both our girls something to look back on.

A devoted big sister watching her little sister grow inside mummy.

Suddenly on 29.01.19, almost two weeks over due, at an antenatal check, our worlds came crashing down as we were told Florrie's little heart was no longer beating. No obvious reason why at the time.. it was just so silent.

Then began our journey to prepare to meet our sleeping baby, to prepare our little girl to meet her sleeping sister.

Two years on & we continue to share her story & keep her memory alive.

Recent funding efforts to mark Florrie's 2nd Birthday have provided The Royal Lancaster Infirmary with a cooling cot for their bereavment suite within the maternity department. These cots are vital pieces of equipment, to allow families to spend time with their babies in the same situation as we found ourselves with Florrie.

This is an incredible legacy for Florrie, as we know what a difference it will make in such a tragic & heartbreaking time. It has brought us so much pride to be able to donate this in her memory, with the help of so many who kindly donated.

'To the Moon & Back, Remember?'

Love, Mummy, Daddy & your proud big sister xx

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Remembering you always x The babies who's tiny footprints never got to touch earth

Florrie Emily 28.02.99 - 04.03.99 Micah Matilda Evelyn Walker 09.02.2019 Charlie Ezekiel 'Zieke' 19.12.2020 Billy Barnabas Barker 26.04.2019 Say their names 37

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Parent's Directory The Moonchild Naturals Authentic Crystal, Personalised, Boho Jewellery & Gift Boxes.

Affordable Prices www.moonchildnaturals.com

Loved by Bev Boutique Clothing for Goddesses Facebook: Loved by Bev boutique

Yoga with Bev Yoga for all, BWY Foundation course tutor Lancashire based, Contact 07917148871 Facebook: BevWyoga

Do you want to advertise your business here?

Directory listings start at just £10 and give you the opportunity to be seen by parents all over the UK! All advertisers will also get their advert added to the website.

Contact Emma on thenonperfectparentsclub@outlook.com

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THE GREATEST LEGACY YOU CAN LEAVE BEHIND IS HAPPY MEMORIES THE FAMILY TYRE THAT WILL TAKE YOUR FAMILY WHEREVER THEY WANT TO GO. CREATE YOUR LEGACY WITH AVAILABLE AT WESTGATE TYRES, MORECAMBE