PASIBAYU: A Yesterday’s Transcript - The Nexus Nokbuk Vol. LIII Issue 2

Nokbuk Literary Folio Volume LII Issue IV Copyright © 2020 The Nokbuk is the official student literary folio of the School of Arts and Sciences under the authority of The Nexus.

Copyright reverts to the respective authors and artists whose works appear in the issue. No part of this book may be reprinted or reproduced in any means whatsoever without the permission of the copyright holder.

Correspondence may be addressed to: The Nexus, Basement, Peter G. Nepomuceno Building, Holy Angel University, #1 Holy Angel Avenue, Sto. Rosario Angeles City, Pampanga E-mail address: thenexushau@gmail.com Facebook: facebook.com/thenexushau Twitter: @thenexushau Instagram: @thenexushau

Cover design by Beata Marie Contreras Creative Direction and Layout by Phoebe Tulabut and Kimberly Jane Tangcawan

mula sa editor Malalim na naman ang gabi.

Nilalabanan ng ingay ng nakaraan ang katahimikan sa loob ng silid. May mga boses na nagbubulungan, nagmamakaawang huwag mo lang silang lingunin kundi unti-unti ring balikan. Ngunit hindi maaari, lumipas na ang oras at wala ka nang magagawa. Walang paraan upang mabago ang lumipas na at ang tanging paraan upang bumalik ay managinip o tumunganga.

Ipinagdadamot ng tadhana ang nakaraan, ngunit mapagbigay ang May Likha.

Hahayaan ka Niyang alalahanin ang lahat sa mga bagay na iyong nakikita. Hindi aalis ang minsang nagpalundag sa iyong puso, ngunit hindi rin ito mananatili. Habang buhay kang susundan ng mga pangako, ngunit ikaw na lamang mag-isa ang tutupad sa mga ito.

Maririnig mo ang malalakas na mga tawa tuwing umaga, at mapapangiti ka dahil naaamoy mo ang mabangong kape sa iyong alaala.

Limang bagay lamang ang paulit-ulit mong babalikan: ang luha, ang tawa, ang panghihinayang, pagsisisi at ang mga tanong.

Kasama ang Pasibayu: A Yesterday's Transcript, muli kang magbalik-tanaw at umasa. Dahil kahit sa mumunting paraan lang, makakabalik ka sa lumipas na.

Phoebe Tulabut Literary Editor

Sparkling Night by Irah Umlas

2020

by Kimberly Jane Tangcawan

Maybe I should stop counting down the days when time will succumb me— Instead, live for the day when tomorrow then tomorrow then tomorrow comes.

Courage shall be my friend, and I shall be a foe of anxiety.

Sure, a little shot of hope might sting in a life full of false promises and broken dreams— But dismantle my soul Or leave me in shackles, I shall always be reborn.

Glory shall bask me in the shadows; I will never again be stagnant—

I shall constantly move mountains, swim oceans, fly onto the clouds, until everybody sees I can, I have.

And as the light dawns upon us, I shall look back for the last time; To how it was, when everything was not okay, and see how much I have survived.

As the days go by, our love had left a bitter taste in my mouth. It runs infinitely all over my head, like how water flows all over the river. It led me to ask questions, and these questions never left my mind. Maybe it wasn’t for us. Maybe we are just too ambitious about the little time that we had. I really do not know how and where we had gone wrong.

Or maybe... you’re just tired, and I’m no longer the rest that you need.

Gianne Paulo Torres

Para king sugat a e pa kakayap, (Para sa sugat na hindi pa naghihilom,)

Siklo by Ysabella Yumul

Her Persona

by Eliza Danica Mationg

The days are long gone When walls were not built.

Stop trying to break in, There’s nothing to see even a little bit.

Abandon me But pride will not flee.

It’s all that is left So I pretend I’m at my best.

All that comes at my door– Comfort, warmth or any kind of love, It is all so hard to adore, For great pain already made the heart sore.

Let’s go back to the moment everyone met me.

It was all rainbows and butterflies– For all did not foresee The girl they are about to love is not free.

Tikdo na Ka ng Christian Domingo

Tikdo na Ka

keng pamanulat ng Christian Domingo

Dimlang beit ning albug King mata ming luluang alang patugut Dayang alang patning mamakyat, babaldug Ibat king lasa’t palsiming keka pupuput.

Bitis mung kanita tatagal kanaku Mepata, anti kwayan a mepatlud Salang dadakit king laue mu Ali, aslag a megpanuanan kapanayan king bie mu.

King lambis na ning siuala’t ganaka mu Yuyuyu kakung aputul mu Kasalpantayanan mung miraras banua Alang ayapse, uliran ning Keyang pamalsinta.

Gamat mung ali makalual king katri, Tud mung gagalgal king marimlang bengi.

Koya, atyu ku mu king dati tamung bili.

Pasibayu, tikdo na ka, munta na ka keni.

Sampaga ng Hanna Pamela Escordial

Para kang...

(Para kay…)

Ignis Fatus

by Francis Xavier Arciaga

Oft, I tell mineself consume not by yesterday's grief Because I latch not what mine believe.

Day's breeze hadst pass'd, as winter splendidly befall its aim; But these memories lingers mine in vain.

Haunted by the past, I shalt yearn for shame; For thyself alone hadst thy pain; As thine mourn met by a countless times keeping thou sane.

Woe not Dearest, cast thyself, quiet and solemnly as tears; For I shalt rue mineself as if I have not fear.

The sunlight pouring across thy skin, As I felt thee - the hour foretold the smile on thy chin.

Thousandths of enchanting reminisce betimes much dwell with thee, Naught of it shalt cometh turn into dust; I daresay, thine crowd wouldst rejoice! upon thy honor and thy fame.

Aye, I didst omit not thy bestowed oath; "Be fooled not by vivid lo' spell who deceive one's hope."

Ol' times bethink to look at mine life and its secrets, I shan't be in tears; Alas, whence I knew I wouldst hast carry for years.

Thy truest shadow upon thy kiss mere haply an illusion, How shalt I endure this longing? For 'tis verily mine as heretic arte confusion.

Jip Story by Carmela Therese Lagman

Las Tres de La Manana

by Hanna Pamela Escordial

Son las tres de la mañana, My eyes are in their deep slumber, But my mind's do howl words, That my mouth can never utter.

Son las tres de la mañana, He's still hunting me even if it's forbidden, His words laced with bloody red.

Thoughts are scattering and suddenly blend, Son las tres de la mañana, My eyes opened from a deep sleep, Gasping and panting, in my dream he was chasing me, With those spewing words, that isn't him.

Son las tres de la mañana, I can hear his voice, Gracing my name, gracing my past, It feels rotten and it makes me gag in disgust.

Son las tres de la mañana, I still carry these baggages of the past I have ran with him, Wishing to banish the wounds, the loneliness and fear I feel, Between us, who is willing to end?

Us

by Angela Therese Palo

We met, we talked, we laughed, Shared great stories that will always be remembered.

Under the stars, we danced and fell in love.

A love that is precious, a love that is pure.

We cried, we fought, we went downhill, Shared our thoughts that broke us apart.

Under the rain we kissed for the last time, A kiss that was painful, a kiss of goodbye.

Para keka na buri kung balikan, (Para sa ‘yo na gusto kong balikan,)

Sa Peryahan ni Faith Lacson

Saudade

by Carmela Therese Lagman

The caffeine in coffee doesn’t keep you awake, But the first sip that burns your tongue.

As love isn’t in the promises you make, But the empty feeling when she is gone.

The darkest of rooms is never the scariest Until your imagination goes wild.

And yet towards her I can never be honest, For my heart is as soft as a child’s.

Airplanes are out of hand’s reach While paper ones are far from the skies.

So even if our distance is an inch, It still feels like the first time we said our last goodbyes.

Tomorrow will always be a scene, Knowing what I cannot foresee.

And amongst the happiest you’ve ever been, Your smile that day was the most that broke me.

Beginning and End

by Jeremiah Delos Santos

Flowers bloom as so our love, Emotions are getting louder and deeper.

Screaming your name from the highest towers, Ending the pain as I jumped over.

My Celestial

by Evangel Eden Reyes

It’s been some time since you appeared in my universe beyond the satellite.

How everything was a blur but there was you, shining with light.

Your radiance captured me with utmost wonder, How come you let me go after just one thunder?

Maybe right now, I wonder why— But I know that one day, this ache will go by.

Para king amanung sisuan, (Para sa Kapampangan,)

Fireflies by Celine Banez

Half-light

by Aimee Rose Fernando

You lit up The warmth I sought.

Cold nights bygone, Rubbles in the air.

Slowly wilted, melting was The fire keeping me warm, Ignited the light quite brighter For another. he flickering light Left a black hole– A void, a barren place.

Two/Ten

by Leianne de Leon

If I meet the man who changes the seasons, spins the hands of the clock, tells our history and writes the next chapter— If he asked me for a day to change, to rewrite, to erase or to stay in for eternity— I would turn away and run into your arms.

For every day and every second of my past has led me to you.

Ganakan

by Rye Kristan

O kakung Inang, agaganaka mu pa ba?

Maliari ku pa bang balikan?

Agyu ku pa kayang pibatan Iting panamdamang kalungkutan?

Kabud ku na mu agaganaka, Iniang kasing lati na ku pa Ning metung a galung danum At adadala mu ku pa king kekang salu.

O kabud ku na mu agaganaka, Ing kekang malumaneng haplus Pati pamanuma mung mayumu Patie masakit ku panamdaman.

Pangadi ku king Guinung e mawala Ing kekang panimanman, King kekang sarili ampon Kareng anggang lulugud keka.

Real Games by Tricia Dizon

Para kang Ima, (Para kay Nanay,)

Empty Sheets

by John Daniel Alberto

The emergence of soul happens When two stars meet at oblivion, Looming over nothingness As both remain fearful of what is upon them.

Beginning like a melody, softly.

As it pierces through symphonies carefully, Wrapped together with violets, Resting on stifled energies as they explode and fade into nothing.

But the empty sheets On a cold evening, As the universe begins to grow on me– It was so terrifying.

Almost, But Not Quite

by Kate Catherine Ong

I can still remember the day I stared at you in star struck awe.

From that point on, you took me away.

In my eyes, you are the main draw.

Every day with you is a blessing, Wishing that this would last.

Until you brought up a wonderful memory, Telling me it’s an unforgettable past.

The past you were talking about Is a past you’re still looking forward to.

Still, I thank you for the short moment But please know I will love you until the end.

Plumang Pagaga

keng pamanulat ng Karen Claire Manalang

Agkas ke ing lugud kung tune.

King tau alang balu babie kule, Anting sampagang mamulaklak King libutad ning dalan misasagakgak.

Bala ku kanita istu ne ing dimdam ku.

Lugud para keka, buu ya, alang biru.

Oneng kabang luluat, Mangaga ku, alang auat.

Mengaring papil kinatmung sugat, Alang makasalese, kabang kaba ing dinat.

Malalanat, ding bulung lalangi la.

Sampagang duduku, milalako gana.

Ing lulugud anti yang plumang milulua, Bagya-bagya, gigisangan na ka.

Teknolohiya ni Dey Salunga

Drown

by Nicoleth Manarang

It happened like this: One day the seas were calm and the moon rose on the mighty sky.

No clouds that night.

No wind brewed heavy storms.

The shore was shallow, And so was I. The pair of eyes I met at a dingy bar didn’t mean a thing, No, not at all.

But the things that transpired that night changed everything, Brought a roller coaster to my dull days yet again.

I learned how you loved the water, How badly in love you were with the night.

I watched you run towards the sea like a forlorn lover.

I watched you fall in love.

I kept on watching you that I haven’t had the time to watch out for myself.

Your warmth melted away my ice cold heart.

It made me love the heat and managed to dwell with it.

You displaced the brick wall I made that served as my fortress.

I showed you my vulnerable side.

I gave you the sincere and softest parts of my heart.

I gave you an entire galaxy.

It happened as fast as that.

Like a lightning strike on an angry night, You managed to enter my soul.

You xplored its depth and felt as if it was whole.

And though I might never find out how, Though I might never have the chance to ask why, I’m glad my storms didn’t scare you– I’m glad you were brave enough to try.

Para king kanakung kaluguran, (Para sa aking kaibigan,)

Kanita ng Phoebe Tulabut

Black Holiday

by Karen Claire Manalang

She was a brick of joy and happiness, a solid love in a total disguise.

With her eyes smiling to oppress, they burst in tears, boxed to surprise.

From the fancy lights under the tree, she's consumed like fireworks vividly.

At once, she is now melting into something.

Sorrow and darkness, slowly— she's fading.

Para kay Princess, Ang daming tanong at “paano kung?” na hinding-hindi na mabibigyan ng sagot dahil huli na. Ang daming sana na hindinghindi na mangyayari dahil wala ka na. Sa totoo lang, hindi ko alam kung kailan matatapos ang pagguhit ko ng mga senaryong hindi kailanman natupad—mga pangarap na hindi na matutupad—dahil iyon na lamang ang paraan upang maisakatuparan sila.

Kung minsan, idinadalangin kong itong sakit sa puso ko ay tuluyan nang mawala.

Nakakapagod malunod sa pagluha at pangungulila. Ngunit tuwing iniisip ko na ang paglimot lamang ang nag-iisang paraan upang makawala sa walang katapusang mga tanong, natatakot akong mawala sa akin ang kakaunting ala-alang nagawa mong isulat kasama ako noong nandito ka pa. Palagay ko ay tama sila. May mga sugat na mas pipiliin nating huwag na lang maghilom kaysa makalimutan nating nagmula sila sa isang magandang alaala.

Kung maibabalik ko lang ang nakaraan, paulit-ulit kong sasabihin sa ‘yong ayos lang na ikaw ay lilisan. Na masaya akong magpapahinga ka na. Masaya akong uuwi ka na, kahit sa tahanang pupuntahan mo ay hindi na ako kasama. Patawad kung hindi naging madali ang pag-alis dahil hindi kita nagawang bitawan nang mas maaga. Kung kumapit ako at umasang mananatili ka.

Patawad kung dahil sa labis na pagmamahal ay mas pipiliin kong patuloy na masaktan at mangulila, at patuloy mo rin akong makikitang lumuluha. Kaluguran daka. Hintayin mo sana ang muli nating pagkikita.

Hindi kailanman makakalimot, Phoebe Tulabut

Lugud ng Phoebe Tulabut

Para king...

(Para sa…)

Kebaitan

keng pamanulat ng Hanna Pamela Escordial

Metung karing pekamagalak a aldo, Makayamang isipan, Gigising king kanakung pulsu, Bala mu aslag ning aldo, paukyat ing ligaya.

Tula at ligaya ing kakung yampang Kareng pengari kung kanakung kaluguran.

King panimanman da akit mu ing alang patnang pamanginang, Masabing yaku ing karelang batuin a palsintan.

Manyaman balikdan ing aldong kesapwakan.

E kukupas ing karelang timan, Lalawen daku, ing pigkalub na ning Hesukristo tang nuan, Kabang yaku ngungusngus kung malambut a pamangan.

Mabut babo ning banua Sablang kaligayan Keting aldong iti A awsan dang kebaitan.

Masked

by Karen Claire Manalang

Through her smile, There is sadness that escapes In a hundred miles– Through her words, There is pain that stabs her Like a thousand swords–

And through her heart, There is abandoned love That creates an endless art.

Scarred Beauty

by Dianne Yumul

She has been molested, Bullied by her classmates, Treated like an outcast, Made fun of in the gym class.

She suffered depression.

Physically abused by her father, She was mentally unstable Because of life’s pressing people.

But instead of feeling remorse And seeking revenge for her pain, She chose the bright side And she chose to live.

She looked for the good in people And she let love enter her being.

She let it fill her heart And then she gave her love.

She wore her scars like an armor, And her fear became her shoes.

Her cape is now her confidence, Her pain was wielded to become a sword.

She has grown to become a fighter And she will not be ashamed of her battles.

For she is strength in her own being And power now runs through her veins.

The world saw her evolution And they can never break her anymore.

Because she was molded in love And its flames lit up above.

Jose Rizal ni Leianne de Leon

Mag-ingat sa mga bayani.

Matatamis ang salita, maayos ang tindig, maginoo, maraming prinsipyo, tinitingala.

Aanhin ko ang mga nobela at mga tula— Kung sa huli ay mananatiling pangako lang pala.

Para keka na e menyauad tauad, (Para sa’yo na hindi humingi ng tawad,)

Strangers We Know by Ysabella Yumul

At 71 and 72

by Carlo Tadia

It was on the 8th of August 2019 I saw you walking, crossing my path.

I stopped...

A fluttering heart of mine.

You continue stepping on the isle.

I almost followed you, I would not lie.

I heard a familiar voice called out, And I averted my sight so as not to get caught.

I sat down yet my eyes are glued unto you.

A friend told a tale and I lost track of you.

Then suddenly, you were near... so near.

This heart of mine was throbbing, I couldn't help it.

You occupied the seat next to me.

Surprisingly, you are a loquacious one.

We had those small talks that felt bigger than they were supposed to be.

You made us laugh quite hard; the ludi crous I adore much of you.

This heart of mine fluttered even more.

Oh, how I pledged to myself that this feeling must not go on.

Forgive me, this feeling I thought was long gone grew deeper.

You reached the depth that no one ever did.

I muttered.

Suppress, enough, begone— But it was no use.

How ironic it was... for someone who does not break promises, Broke a few of them... to myself, for myself.

"Promises should never be uttered carelessly," I frequently say, and yet I did.

Behind those glasses, those marmalade eyes, the eyes that signify goodbye, "Farewell," I said when it was 8 o' clock.

The realization sunk in—you will always be beyond my reach ‘Cause your heart has been already taken by someone else.

Para kang Tatang, (Para kay Tatay,)

Hand on Your Head

by Mc Aronne Tizon

Inside a not so coffee shop I stayed for hours holding a cup, And while I was free from my duties, I was in bondage... from you.

I took a trip down memory town And saw different structures of beautiful scenes– All to which there was you.

To one building I saw the first time my eyes Told me you were beautiful inside and out.

My heart melted fast when you smiled at me But it melted faster when you did a childish pout.

I saw how you would still make me happy Although you were slightly rude, And how my body shivered whenever you come close.

Then I went to a library of all the things I know about you.

How sad because it reaches its floor to a 3rd But only half of the first is filled with books.

I pulled one entitled "Whenever You're Mad".

It says in page 22 that when you're pissed off, No one should talk to you.

I smiled, then put it back.

I went out and in front of me was an edifice of The countless times I looked at you.

And oh my it was so high, It reaches up to the sky.

I saw how my heart jumped when you would look back, tilt your head, and just smile.

I could still remember your face and your voice.

The sound of your noisy shoes Whenever you walk along with the sweet fragrance you bring– A mini heart attack it is.

Lastly, I saw a vacant lot.

An empty vacant lot—no sign, nothing.

Then I felt what it is—your love.

I realized that from all the tour I made to memory town, There was one important Missing detail—your love.

The trip is over.

It’s time to leave memory town.

It’s time to leave the cup of Coffee I barely even drank.

It’s time to accept defeat.

You don't love me and maybe you won't remember these, But honey you don't have to and it's alright.

I'll let it be... because if love is greatest when if it is unrequited, Then, honey, I love you so much.

Para king pakamalan kung yatu, (Para sa mundo,)

The Bistro by Christian Joseph Reyes

Hourglass

by Francis Xavier D. Arciaga

The hourglass has reached its peak, as our story made its way in the morning.

The sands of time rested below, just like feelings on a haze; bygone.

There's no fiction that could stuff, for the chances that we've lost.

Definitely no compromises could fill the broken hopes of both.

As the light of the lamp flickers on the tabletop of our time, I heaved a breath as I sucked in courage to pick up the hourglass through my hand.

With the strength of our last string, I hope it won't broke off, As I inverted the hourglass; to look for you, and set my pace back to the start.

Back to the start where the bench of the park listens to our conversations, like a person we could confide.

Back when the hymns and notes synchronize our voice, making two become one.

We hold dearly the travels we make, for our company suffices loneliness.

We do not emit light, but we look at each other with a smile like the warmth and shine of the sun.

Our hands, though very different and unbound, Our touch are not strangers; both know how to condign.

Yes, I'm still familiar with your hold, I still long for our puzzle piece, but moreover I still long for you.

The memories flash through me, as I sit in the restaurant’s dining.

The memories flash through me, as I sit in the restaurant’s dining.

Remember where we officially became friends?

Yes, it was the same.

I wonder when would that happen, that officially we would become.

I know I sounded pathetic, that still I am in my hope.

The violin played its serenade, as I smelled your perfume.

I confess that I still know it, so I looked in the door's way.

There I saw your figure happily talking to your date.

Damn! The hourglass broke off; my blood mixes with tears.

I should've known for sure that two years will change you, and it would resolve your emotions.

That your shine will warm the others, your hand could fit in them too.

With the last strength of my will, I walked away in this pace.

Maybe our story really made its mourning, and yesterday's sunset will forever be our end.

See You Soon

by Phoebe Tulabut

Portrait of a kite, flying to the sky, Reaching for heaven, waiting to die.

Innocent heart, so full of questions, Not ready to leave, begging for answers.

Calm storm, hopeful sunset, Early goodbye, a fresh start awaits.

Sending of flowers, accompanied by tears, Singing with love, a love without fear.

Para kaku,

(Para sa akin,)

Ing Pamanuli ng Celine Banez

Editorial Board A.Y. 2019-2020 Marianne Mae Arceo Editor-in-Chief

Christian Domingo Associate Editor

Hanna Pamela Escordial Managing Editor

Mia Grace Malit News Editor

Leimanuelle Anne de Leon

Phoebe Tulabut

Literary & Kapampangan Editor

Kimberly Jane Tangcawan Head Layout Artist

Christian Joseph Reyes Head Photojournalist

Beata Marie Contreras Head Cartoonist

Features Editor

Staff Writers

Photojournalists

Francis Xavier Arciaga Annia Marie Socorro Deo Liana Canilao Riniella Charise Ocampo Jaymielle Fetalvero Daniel John Lozano Carlos Noel Tan Lyka Sinque Ryan Christian Peñarada Ysabella Naizza Yumul Eunice Mamucud Karen Claire Manalang Azel Dizon

Krizel Irah Umlas Patrick Simeon Reinier Kerjy Yabut Faith Alekcis Lacson Tricia Ann Dizon Jericho Rodriguez Karl Lacsamana Nikisha Pamintuan Hannah Lopido

Layout Artists Lyra Punsalan Sharmaine Jean Rojas

Cartoonists Gwen Timoteo Jesikyle Marie Diamzon Carmela Therese Lagman Kristel Anne Yeen

Technical Adviser Ms. Irene Manalili