The Newsy Neighbour November Issue 97

COMPLIMENTARY

An Altogether

November 2015 ISSUE 97

Different

MAGAZINE

We’re RECOGNIZING

Business E NEW H SY T

NOMINATIONS & VOTING

Reader’s Choice in

Z AGA INE M

Excellence

IGHBOU E N R

BUSINESS

Now Open

Awards

Natasha Eden

Adventures in Home Buying & Selling Cell: 403-399-0809

Natasha@HouseHuntingAdventures.com

HouseHuntingAdventures.com

SELLING A HOME?

Let’s work together!

Ask About My 1 Year Warranty

PART 1

Call the Cristmas Party Line Today!

This Christmas don’t miss the holiday train Book your staff party today

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Ask for Peter

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E R O e

om M h H ll

T oc A R et

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STa plac

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City Conveniences and Real Country Values More freedom, space, and features are yours at Wildflower Ranch. Incredible lot value, village center and acres of parkland right outside your door.

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Affordable Phase 2 Homes Now Available Visit www.wildflowerranch.ca 2 •

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SHOWHOMES

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Now that I’'' Am ‘older’ (but not grown up),

HERE’S WHAT I’VE DISCOVERED:

1

I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

2 My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran.

3

I finally got my head together; now my body is falling apart.

4 Funny, I don’t remember being absent minded...

5 All reports are in; life is now officially unfair.

6

7 It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.

89

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Some days you’re the dog; some days you’re the hydrant.

I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could use a few...

10Kids in the back seat cause accidents.

11

Accidents in the back seat cause kids.

12

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CRIR 2016

June 30th to July 3rd , 2016 Strathmore AG Ground s T ic k e ts a t: a rg ra .o r g

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Who Are YOU, and What Makes You

Congratulations to the 2015 Small Business Week Award Winners

“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.”

New Business of the Year:

Animal Care Centre of Strathmore

~E.E. Cummings

Community Spirit Award:

Q:

Community Futures Wild Rose Customer Service Excellence Award: Rural Business Award:

Field Stone Fruit Wines

Q:

Chamber of Commerce Award:

The Newsy Neighbour

personal values?

What or who would you be if you knew you couldn’t fail?

The risk of failure terrifies most people. How many times have you wanted to change jobs or careers, move to a new city, promote a cause that is important you, or become an expert in a certain area? Think about it. No risk of failure.

Thank you to all who donated door prizes; Grand Prize of two nights stay with breakfast Rocking R Guest Ranch Gift Baskets – ATB & Town of Strathmore Advertising Gift Certificate – The Newsy Neighbour Wine Basket Jill Crossland Business Consulting Car Safety Kit - John & Berniece Bland

Q:

What makes you genuinely happy?

This one is closely related to your core personal values. However, ask yourself this question once you’ve really nailed down what those values are.

Q:

A Special Thank-you To Our Sponsors

If money were no object, how would you live your life differently?

Many people equate happiness and success directly to the amount of money they have. How many times have you heard someone say, “If I hit the lottery, I’d…”

But remember, this question isn’t really about money at all. It’s more about thinking outside the limits we tend to put on our aspirations and actions because things seem out of our reach financially.

By Donna Middleton To learn more and to take a personal assessment, visit: http://tinybuddha. com/blog/5-questions-discover-who-you-are-and-what-will-make-youhappy/

John & Berniece Bland thenewsyneighbour.com

What are your core

Personal values are the things that you believe are important in the way you live. Having this information about yourself is the key to making sure your daily life is aligned with those values.

Strathmore Home Hardware

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?

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Incredible Random Act of Kindness 10-Year-Old Stands Up to Bullies to Save a Cat It’s never easy to stand up to bullies, but that’s exactly what Wendell Overton of Manteo, NC did when he discovered a group of kids torturing a neighbourhood stray cat.

Overton had seen the black and white cat

around town before, but one day he came across a gang of kids, aged five to thirteen, who were running over the animal with their bikes, throwing him in the air, and squirting energy drinks in his face. Afraid that they would kill the cat, Overton bravely intervened and took the cat home to his mother, who called the Outer Banks Humane Society.

When word of Overton’s compassion and kindness got out, notes of praise and encouragement came in from all over the world. www.oddee.com

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NN

Winner of 2013 Business of the Year

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Mainly in Calgary, Alberta. We go to more locations than any local publication.

If you don’t get a copy of the magazine to your home or are out of our distribution area, there are many places to pick one up. You can also subscribe to our hard copy for $39 a year or subscribe to our digital copy for free.

DISTRIBUTORS:

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PICK UP LOCATIONS: Strathmore & Chestermere: Gas Stations Medical Offices Hotels and other lodging Grocery Stores Strathmore: Value Drug Mart More Than Ice Cream Booster Juice Studio 86 Tanning Chamber Of Commerce The Road House Pranava Yoga Chestermere: Chestermere Library Town Of Chestermere Recreation Centre M & M Foods Catalyst Supplements Chestermere Optometry Trend Fashions Caribbean Sun Tanning Sak’s Music The Lakeshore Esthetics Langdon: Kimmer Market Botsford Deli Prairie Pharmacy IDA Rockyford: Dee’s Cold Beer & Liquor

Standard: Co-Op Tom’s General Pet’s Bakery UFA Petro Cluny: Cluny Liquor Store Country Farmhouse Gleichen: Family Foods Medical Center Arrowwod Co-Op Rosebud Museum Emmes Esso Bassano: Rosies Road Side Bassano Empty Bottle IDA Pharmacy Mossleigh: Out Post Mossleigh Hotel Inn Aspen Crossing Carseland: Food Mart Reds Family Cook House

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www.thenewsyneighbour.com The Newsy Neighbour is published 12 times a year, printed

by Central Web and distributed by Strathmore Standard, Sun Media, Canada Post and The Newsy Neighbour delivery team.

AN IMPORTANT NOTE TO OUR READERS:

The opinions expressed in the advertisements and articles of this publication are those of the advertisers and authors and not of The Newsy Neighbour Inc. The information in this magazine is believed and fully intended to be accurate but not warranted to be so. The Newsy Neighbour Inc. disclaims responsibility for any injury to persons or property resulting from any ideas or products referred to in the articles or advertisements. The mention of any brand in article or photos does not imply endorsement. Images are supplied by readers, advertisers and from shutterstock.com.

Our database is confidential we will not share our information with third parties. No part of this publication may be reproduced without written consent of The Newsy Neighbour Inc.

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OUR TEAM:

PUBLISHERS LETTER:

Owner/Publisher, Layout, Design, Accounts Payable/ Receivable & Website.

aleesha@thenewsyneighbour.com

This is a huge issue for us. This is the launch of our Readers’ Choice Best in Business magazine series! We have been working on this for a while, and it is finally here. This is just one of the 2 HUGE things The Newsy Neighbour is making into annual events; these awards and the Get to Know Your Neighbour Festival, which is already in the works as well!

Owner, Content Development & Articles

The Readers’ Choice Best in Business Awards project is brought to you by The Newsy Neighbour Magazine, with sponsorship from the Town of Strathmore, the City of Chestermere and the Langdon Community Association.

Aleesha Gosling

Phone: 403-478-9114

Kathryn Hartwell Phone: 403-561-0888

kathryn@thenewsyneighbour.com

Advertising; Regional Sales Manager

Denise Geremia

Phone: 403-608-0686 denise@thenewsyneighbour.com

OUR CONTRIBUTORS: JockTalk

Life Lines

Jock Wilson

Jody Brown

Shaken & Stirred

Lomenda Energy

Marcy Field

Carla Lomenda

Interior Design

Stories Musings

Emily Hogan A Mindful Minute

Rebecca Stone Holdin’ Holden

Jenny Schoberl

Suzanne Shaver Guiding you OVER the steps ..... of Real Estate.

From November 2015 Issue 97 to February 2016 Issue 100(!!), we will be recognizing excellence in our communities. There will be 3 winners in each active category: Gold, Silver & Bronze. Winners will be chosen by readers of The Newsy Neighbour Magazine.

There are a couple different reasons we decided to launch this project. First off, The Newsy Neighbour has been extremely fortunate enough to win 2 awards of our own. In 2013, we were awarded the Small Business of the Year in Strathmore with the Strathmore Chamber of Commerce. The Business of the Year Award went to the business that demonstrated significant achievements, community involvement, employee relations, customer service, change and innovation and charitable work and fundraising. This was an incredible honour and inspiration to us. Then just last week, we were awarded the 2015 Chamber of Commerce Award, again, with the Strathmore Chamber of Commerce. The Chamber of Commerce Award went to the business that has contributed the most to the business community, providing opportunities for local and district businesses to network and connect. Once again, we are incredibly honoured and even more inspired. We are inspired to recognize the amazing businesses in our communities and the amazing businesses that support us, because without you, we wouldn’t exist.

Do you know of a well deserving business in Chestermere, Langdon, Strathmore and surrounding areas? We encourage you to spend some extra time at your local businesses this month, and nominate someone that you see demonstrating these practices.

You can nominate them online at www.readerschoicebestinbusiness.com. Good luck to all the well deserving businesses that have already been nominated. Nominations close on November 18th.

This issue is also our Christmas Part 1 Issue. CHRISTMAS!? I can’t believe it, weren’t we just outside in the backyard playing in the pool and suntanning like a week ago? Where did the summer go? Realizing it is already November makes me feel that life is passing more quickly. In an effort to slow it down, I will try to fill the hours more meaningfully this month. We encourage you to do the same.

Have a wonderful November!

Aleesha, Kathryn and Denise

The REPs Natural Choices

Cynthia Barnesky

Just some Stuff

Nicole MH

Leela Sharon Aheer

OTHER CONTRIBUTORS THIS MONTH: Wheatland FCSS, 5 for Life, Langdon Dental, City of Chestermere, The Lakeshore Spa, Kailo Homeopathy

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Locally Produced Year Round

Suzanne is a native Calgarian that lived in Langdon for 15 years before transplanting to Chestermere in 2013. By day she is an accountant with a frustrated creative side that occasionally escapes in form of written musings, which is far more interesting than adding stuff up for people.

n the spirit of writing an article for this magazine, which has a theme each month, I usually try to come up with something that follows that basic theme. One might think that’s me being a cooperative contributor, but it may have more to do with me wandering around the house trying to think of something interesting to say, or general laziness about coming up with my own topic.

Some months the Inspiration Fairy visits me and *poof*!! The ideas flow and the words come easily. Other months I suspect my own mother would find my first drafts boring, at best, but most likely painful. This month I clearly offended the Inspiration Fairy and her little minions of creativity and… nothing. So in the spirit of “cooperative contributor” I recently (aka the same day as deadline day) checked out this month’s themes for inspiration.

Theme number 1 is “Best in Business” which, given the communities we cover, should be super easy. But alas! There is such a thing as too much inspiration. I’d have to do daily articles until at least Christmas to have a hope of covering all the great places to eat, shop for food, clothes or baked yummies, get car repairs done, have prescriptions filled – you name it; we have WAY too many awesome businesses to do it justice.

And speaking of Christmas (ugh), theme number 2 is Christmas Part 1. While I tolerate like Christmas well enough, I can honestly say I don’t see the need to break it into a multi-part thing. Isn’t it bad enough that we have Christmas decorations competing, and winning, with Halloween stuff at certain large warehouse style retailors that shall remain nameless *cough cough costco* before the kids are even back to school? At the risk of being fired by the lovely editors of this fine publication, I must just say no. thenewsyneighbour.com

Last year, as we left October and headed towards November 11, we were stunned by the deaths of two of our servicemen on Canadian soil. We like to think stuff like that just doesn’t happen here, but sadly, shockingly, sometimes life just… happens.

This year a ceremony has held in Ottawa, honouring the two men, which was attended by our outgoing and incoming Prime Ministers, which leads us to the news we exit this October with – the world’s longest election campaign. Truthfully, the US has us beat, since they start campaigning for their next election approximately 12 hours after the President is sworn in, but by Canadian standards… holy long election, Batman!

Stories, Musings, A Little Adventure And Humour

12 •

No, I am not writing about Christmas before I’ve put my bike away for the season. No, I’m not writing about Christmas before I’ve eaten my first box of Halloween candy and need to head out for “stockpile trip round 2” (now there’s something multi-part I could get behind – Halloween candy acquisition). No. Just. No. I deny your multi-part Christmas until next month.

Moving on to theme number 3, Remembrance Day (aka mom’s birthday. Which I remember. Every year).

No matter which party you supported in the Federal election, many Albertans I’ve talked to since seem to be very weary of elections in general and parties we don’t support winning them. And before everyone starts shrieking that there were some Liberal seats won in Alberta and there’s lots of people out there that support legal weed the Liberals, I give you the NDP. For a province that has an NDP government, I’m REALLY having trouble finding anyone that will actually admit voting for them this spring. But somebody must have…. right?

However, in the spirit of Remembrance Day, we can thank soldiers past for the right to actually vote easily (except at advance polls in Chestermere, which was not easy at all) and freely. We can thank soldiers past for having a system of multiple political parties, good and bad, and their candidates, hard-working and less so, to vote for. We can thank soldiers past for giving us the ability to rant like lunatics about our choices on social media. And we can thank soldiers present and future for continuing to defend all of this (even the lunatics on social media).

So to our soldiers: past, present and future, we thank you. That’s all we’ve got – our gratitude for a tough job well done. Thank you.

#CanadaStrongOneYearLater

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PLEASE DON’T DRINK & DRIVE!

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Nominate A Business Do you know of a well deserving business in Chestermere, Langdon, Strathmore and Surrounding Areas?

The Newsy Neighbour is looking to recognize well deserving businesses that represent hard work and excellence. We encourage you to spend some extra time at your local businesses this month, and nominate someone that you see demonstrating these practices.

As of October 24th, we already received 57 nominations. Some of these amazing businesses are advertising in this issue. We have recognized the nominees in this issue with this badge and have the arrow pointing at the nominee.

A nomination alone is a testimony in and of itself that you are doing something great; it’s a testimate to your success and excellence among others around you and that says a lot.

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November Issue 97 This current issue NOMINATIONS December Issue 98 NOMINATIONS Continue January Issue 99 FINALISTS Announced February Issue 100 WINNERS Congratulated

There will be an awards Banquet the night of January 28th, 2016 at the Strathmore Travelodge. Stay tuned for more information.

Vote For A Business You’ll have until November 18th to participate in our initial voting phase. The top 3 businesses in each active category will be announced in our December Issue.

At that time, voting will open for the finalists for one month. All final votes must be in by January 16th, and the winners will be announced at our awards ceremony on January 28th and will be recognized in February issue 100!

Vote online: www.readerschoicebestinbusiness.com Winners are chosen by our readers. Businesses with the most votes, win!

All occasion gifts, clothing – crafts – gifts décor, 403-934-6112 women’s fashions 223 – 3rd Ave., Strathmore, AB & more.

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USINESS EXCELLENC

Performing

this is the final stage where team members achieve effective and satisfying results. They are confident in their roles and responsibilities and work proactively to benefit the company. This is a time to show appreciation and celebrate the group’s success.

BUSINESS EXCELLENCE

Another aspect to keep in mind is competition. Between competitors, employees, and even yourself - a little competition is good for the soul (and your profit margin). It’s also been said that people don’t leave companies - they leave people - so keeping an upbeat, positive attitude and recognizing the strengths of the individuals within your team will increase productivity, performance and loyalty.

Success is not measured strictly by aptitude: it’s measured by attitude.

R

egardless of how competitively you price your product, how strategically you place your headquarters or how well you advertise - without the right leadership, distinction will remain just out of reach.

‘Business excellence’ is a diverse term with a definition that varies from person to person; however, there are a few key ingredients that every entrepenuer should incorporate into their recipe for success. The first is team cohesion; the second, personality and attitude; the third is easily explained by the business edition of Maslow’s “Building Collaboration Hierarchy of Needs.”

Now according to the Tuckman Stages of Group Development theory, there are four integral steps to creating and maintaining a cohesive and successful team.

“

2 STRATEGIC DIFFERENTIATION 3 REVENUE GROWTH 4 OPERATIONAL EFFICIENCY

5 REGULATORY COMPLIANCE

In this phase, the team is just beginning to come together. Communication is low, goals are seemingly unclear, and members rely greatly on directive leadership. In this phase, it is a good time to begin building common goals, clarify expectations, and work to understand who has what to contribute.

Storming

Post-Forming stage, team members will enter the Storming phase, which will typically involve differences in opinions, goal-meeting ideals, and approaches. To get past this, a great leader will offer a more transparent objective, listen to their team’s ideas, and coach them through any struggles.

Norming

Here, the team gains confidence in one another; they feel a sense of momentum and begin forming relationships with customers and key stakeholders. This is an opportune time to create open forums and discussions while working toward overarching issues.

thenewsyneighbour.com

“

Nicole MH

A little competition is good for the soul (and your profit margin)

1 BRAND

Forming

16 •

Sure, I could attempt to rouse you with some lackluster entrepreneurial quotes from people like Oprah Winfrey, Mark Zuckerberg, and Steve Jobs, but the truth is - you need to find your own inspiration. Once you’ve discovered that, you will have found the greatest and most often overlooked avenue to business excellence.

“

It’s also been said that people don’t leave companies they leave people - so keeping an upbeat, positive attitude and recognizing the strengths of the individuals within your team will increase productivity, performance and loyalty.

The Newsy Neighbour Magazine

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Altogether Different

SERVING ALLStrathmore OF ALBERTA Serving Chestermere, and Area with Affordable Insurance Solutions and Superior Customer Service

Look for our new location November 30th Next to the Chestermere Lake Registry

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Who Are All The Nominees?

RECREATIONAL VEHICLES .. BOATS .. MOTORCYCLES .. RECREATIONAL PROPERTY .. TRAVEL There are many incredible businesses that have been nominated for the readersINSURANCE choice awards...

but not all of them are advertising in this issue. We wanted to recognize the ones that didn’t make it in. Nominations include: OIL AND GAS RISKS .. LIQUOR LIABILITY Avleen skincare & Threading Studio, Amato Gelato Chestermere, Total Estate Cleaning Inc., Straight-Line Contracting, All About Nails, The Bronzing Bar, Shhugar, Apex MMA, Lil Hoots Consignment, Jenericay, Rockys Bakery, Petro Canada Strathmore Lakes, Da Shine Man, Active Solutions for Health, OK Tire, Original Joes, Dwila Janzen dog grooming, Nevermore Fitness - Personal Training, Synscape Solutions Inc, Chestermere Lake Registry, Strathmore Dental Centre, Rainbow Falls Dental, Badger Electrical Management.

You wiill see ads and a nomination badge recognizing the rest of the nominees so far.

For a full list of both advertisers and non, please visit www.readerschoicebestinbusiness.com

www.valuedrugmart.com Contact us for information or to: · Book your appointment today · Sign up for our newsletter

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• 17

A Mindful Minute

I

have been in the customer service industry for a very long time now.

I graduated high school in 1997, and after a brief university student stint, I entered the work force. For MANY years I have failed myself forward in different career paths – from server, to marketing, to direct sales, to trade shows, to yoga teacher...

These experiences taught me many things – organizational skills, leadership qualities, the importance of teamwork, a zest for learning from those who have done it already, the ability to take a rejection or a failure with (some) grace, and nurturing effective communication skills.

But one of the most important things I have learned is the qualities of great customer service. My personal yoga practice, funny enough, has reinforced the lessons I have learned over the years.

18 •

Here is a secret: CUSTOMER SERVICE is NOT about having the best product on the market, it’s NOT about delivering a service at the best rate, and it’s definitely NOT about being the best at what you do.

Becky is a yoga instructor and the owner of Pranava Yoga in Strathmore, AB. Pranava yoga is a community minded studio, fostering the growth of the yoga community in Strathmore (and the world) by promoting the values of personal practice, creativity, abundance and community spirit. Make sure to check out her website at www.pranavayoga.ca, call her at (587) 365-3651 or email her at: info@pranavayoga.ca

thenewsyneighbour.com

Here are 3 qualities that create fantastic customer service, as I see it. I will use our yoga studio business as examples, but I know from experience that these qualities are applicable for any business/situation you would care to apply them to.

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1. Understand that you are not selling a product or service to the client. You are selling them the result.

If I remember that I am not selling a client yoga classes (passes or a membership) and healthy lifestyle workshops (a seat in a great class), but rather the result of those things (physical/ mental/emotional health, tools for stress management, a community of like-minded people), I will be able to more effectively communicate why the client would want to choose to join us at our studio.

2. Talk less, ask more questions.

It used to be that folks would come in and ask me what we had to offer them – and I would promptly spend the next 10 minutes explaining the many classes and services we have, the quality of our instructors, the options of membership or passes... But after a bit of time I could see the relative ineffectiveness of this, and (because of the advice of a great mentor) I began to ask a question with a question, and perhaps asked a bunch of questions, and a remarkable result emerged. The prospective client and I would make a personal connection and – by listening to the answers and giving my full attention to them – we would start to build the beginning of a relationship. A relationship built upon authentic engagement. I can then tailor my answers to “what we offer” to what the client is actually looking for.

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3. Admit your mistakes.

It is easy to get caught up in ego when an error is made, especially if we feel embarrassment, or anger, or fear. I know, because I make mistakes and sometimes feel embarrassed, angry, scared and want to surrender to the easy option of forgetting about it. But I have learned over and over again that if I reach out and offer a sincere apology and offer rectification – clients are not only usually willing to forgive the situation, but often will feel more connected and trusting of me (and/or my business) because of it. Most people feel resonance with humanness and can recognize authentic effort.

He said ....”They say that during sex, you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles.”

She said .....”Who runs 8 miles in 15 seconds?”

What this boils down to is, in my humble opinion, great customer service comes from building relationships.

When looking around at some of the amazing businesses in our community, it is the ones that offer outstanding customer service that are most remembered, spoken of, recommended and loved. They may have great products/prices/services or have a fabulous marketing strategy, but that is not what keeps us coming back. It is the real people connecting with real people that sees us return again and again. Cool, isn’t it?

Namaste, Becky PS. Our lovely little studio is turning 3 this month! I want to take a moment to show our gratitude and our pride - in this day and age when small businesses are so often here and then gone.

Pranava Yoga is still here due to much hard work and a lot of support, but mainly it is still here because of the amazing reception of our community and the relationships we continue to nurture and create every day. Please accept my humblest thanks to all that have been part of these past few years.

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The REPs... Guiding you over the STEPS... Of Real Estate.

We are... 3 REMAX horizon Real Estate Professionals ...

DEDICATED to work together and licensed in Residential, Rural, Commercial, Condo. We are here to help our clients reach ALL their real estate goals. Contact us: reps.remax@ gmail.com.

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What does it mean to be Best in Business?

When I think about a business that is the best in their service or industry, I think of excellent customer service. As a consumer, I think we have adjusted as a population to accept the service we receive at any given time simply because there may not be an alternative for that service. As a result, businesses come to adjust their practices in accordance with a lower expectation of good quality customer service.

What does it mean to have excellent customer service? In my view, excellent customer service involves effective communication between the service provider and the client, an overwhelming willingness to solve any issues that may arise, and being easily accessible to the consumer. In our society today, we are finding more businesses straying from excellent service practices and making moves towards quantity over quality. The idea being, how much product can we pump out to the public, with the emphasis being on sales and profit, instead of taking the time to make service-consumer relationships? Especially in larger markets, we are seeing these practices detract from experiencing a positive consumer experience.

However, that being said, the Best in Business, whether they are the only one that provides the service or not, will always go above and beyond the bare minimum of what is required. An idea comes to mind for me when I recommend a business or service to anyone, it is based on the fact my experience with them personally has exceeded my expectations.

For example: When you call a business to request information, book an appointment, or make an order, is the person on the

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Cus Se tom rvi er ce other end of the line cheerful and treats you the potential customer as though you are the most important call of the day or do they sound annoyed by the fact you did call? When you went to the grocery store, did someone offer to help you find what you are looking for? Or when you went to the bank, were you politely greeted and helped in a timely manner? This is often the first point of contact to the public for many businesses, was your experience one you will remember, or was it one that affected your mood, negatively, for the rest of the day? Often, what I look for is how I am treated as a consumer and I will remember that business in the future. The beauty of shopping local or in small market areas, such as towns and hamlets, service providers will often know your name, perhaps what you might regularly purchase, and make an effort to get to know their consumers better.

This type of customer service will have a longer lasting effect on the consumer, even in downturns in the economy.

If you enjoy these types of services, make sure you recognize the businesses that shine in these aspects of the positive consumer experience.

See our ad on the back cover!

A little bit of everything Gaylene Smith has been a waitress, tree planter, canoeing instructor, cemetery caretaker, fund development officer, communications officer, marketing coordinator, and currently is a career coach, and first aid instructor on the side. She still isn’t sure what she wants to be when she grows up other than healthy, wealthy and wise, although right now she is willing to take just one of the three.

Gaylene can be reached by phone at 403-9344305 or gsmith@mcbridecareergroup.

You Want Me To Brand My What?

Marketing the best of yourself.

Phone: 403-969-0758 shawna@dig-itcontracting.com Registered/Insured/WCB 20 •

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Eminem’s album “Recovery” was released

I recently told a client that he needed to work on branding himself.

He was a cowboy, I’m an ex-marketing person. To say that there was an error in communications is a bit of an understatement.

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At Coldwell, we are real people serving real people.

If you’re looking for an insurance agency with big city quality, but yet a small town atmosphere, we are the right place!

“Do you mean to tell me that you expect me to brand job wanted on my arse?” He asked as he walked his wrangler clad body out my office. Okay so maybe he didn’t use the word arse, but he did make it very clear to me that perhaps my concept of branding is not the same as someone one from a farming background would have.

Now I get it, my body is a blank canvas not even marked by piercings. I will admit that half the reason I never got my ears pierced was from an intense dislike of needles which explains why the broad (unfortunately very broad) white (need to go on a sunny holiday soon) canvas that is my skin remains tattoo free. I can’t imagine how beyond uncomfortable getting a brand would be. (Yes, people do this – just not this people!) So when I speak of branding yourself, or working on your brand, please know I am not referring in any way or form to body art.

So once I got the cowboy to put his boots back into my office, I was able to explain that branding is a way to market one’s self. Self-promotion is very important for individuals looking for work. Major companies excel at branding. You see the golden arches you think McDonalds; you hear just do it and you think Nike, red and white swirl – Coca Cola.

When a person works on their individual brand they are trying to portray a specific image or set of values. Jennifer Lawrence – the quirky girl next door, David Beckham – forever the soccer hero and hunk. Miley Cyrus has gone from the cute and wholesome Hanna Montana to rebranding herself as (okay I don’t have the adjectives to describe the whole wrecking ball Miley) but I bet you would know who I mean if I said wrecking ball!

Now you don’t need to be a Hollywood star to have a brand. I hope that when people think of me, they associate certain traits with who I am. Take this article. I could have written it in a serious fashion, I could have filled it with statistics and examples, but that isn’t who I am or how I want to be perceived. I want my clients and potential clients to associate professional-yet-fun when they think of me. Even how I wear my hair is part of my branding.

It is crazy curly and has an attitude of its own. I once had a student call it Muppet hair. That’s cool – it reflects my brand well.

Fun, yet professional. Check out my linked-in profile or read my work on medium.com, you will notice a very strong theme in all I post. That is part of my brand. When a potential employer does a Google search of my name, I want to ensure that the Gaylene brand shows without any wrecking ball moments. Google

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yourself – is this how you want to be perceived? If not, clean it up.

So go ahead and be brave, try working on your brand. How do you want to be perceived by the world? The world is going to make assumptions and judge you. Make sure the associations they make with you are the ones you want. I plan to spend some time contemplating tattoos and trying to figure out just what and where I want one that will continue to support my brand. Hmmm wonder if Pepe from the Muppets would hurt much…

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Opens

NOVEMBER 5TH, 6TH & 7TH All the latest trends & fashions to keep you #TrendSetting both at home and on the go!

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Altogether Different

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THEY SHALL GROW NOT OLD, AS WE THAT ARE LEFT GROW OLD: AGE SHALL NOT WEARY THEM,NOR THE YEARS CONDEMN. A

New Initiative!

Life Lines

This monthly column by Joanne (Jody) Brown, MSW, RSW, is designed to help you make better connections, and live happier lives. Sometimes we just need to ask the question. You can learn more about her practice at www. Authenticbeing.ca or contact her at 403-983-2230 or NLP4you@ shaw. ca to book a free 30 minute consultation today.

After meeting with a group of non-profit organizations focusing on a ‘Caregiver Support Group’, we have submitted two applications to the Alberta Caregivers Association (ACA) requesting grant monies that will help us increase our support to caregivers in Wheatland County, Strathmore and Carbon areas.

The first grant will offer training to establish caregiver facilitators to act as local resources for support groups, information sessions, etc. The second grant will provide monies to support an awareness campaign offering group discussions identifying caregivers, their needs, existing gaps and available resources.

We welcome this opportunity to make a difference in our community and hope we are successful in obtaining these grants to allow us to better serve our residents. Together, let us encourage our caregivers to find balance in their own lives while dealing with the challenges of care giving.

Dear Lifelines, I have two relatives that passed away during different wars Canada has been involved in. I’m only 15 so I never knew them, but have heard that they were very good people and I would like to recognize them this year at Remembrance Day. Do you have any ideas?

Sincerely, Reflecting Dear Reflecting; What a great way to honour your relatives! It sounds like it could be a very challenging, yet immensely rewarding project that will enable you to learn about history while at the same time learn about your ancestors. I guess there are many types of projects that you could try, but it all depends who it is for and how you want to display your project.

One possible option might be to create a media file that you can put together on a computer. Perhaps you can get photos and descriptions from other relatives who knew and respected your deceased ancestors. You could record the voices of your relatives speaking about them and telling stories. If your family that you would like to talk to doesn’t live close to you, you could skype them and record the conversation, or you could interview them over the phone and record it. One way to honour your deceased relatives might be through a slideshow or video that you could later place online such as on YouTube - or you could distribute it through DropBox or another emailing service for large files to email friends and family. In creating the slideshow you could use the music of the era depending on which wars your relatives were involved in. You can experiment with the music and perhaps get some family members to do the narration. Historic war information can be located through various online ancestry sites if you are unable to discover much from your relatives. You might want to check with Veteran offices as well to see if there are other ways of obtaining information. If they are buried in a war memorial cemetery you might get photos of their graves or see if there might be other information you can obtain about them through online cemetery websites. I guess it’s up to you how detailed and involved you get with your project. You might want to share it with your local school at the Remembrance Day Service or have a special day to share it with family and friends.

Enjoy your project! Take pride in honouring and remembering your ancestors who sacrificed their lives so that we might live in freedom.

Sincerely, Lifelines “The living owe it to those who no longer can speak to tell their story for them.” Czeslaw Milosz

‘Coats & Cocoa’ ~ Once again, we’re offering our winter wear exchange program for the 2015 County Coat Campaign. If you have gently-used winter gear to donate, please drop them off at the Wheatland County Administration building between the hours of 9 a.m. – 4 p.m. We will be mobile this year as we travel to various sites within the County. Check out our website or call us to find out when we will be in your area.

‘Drop ~ Swap ~ Shop’ At any time in this campaign, you can drop off your gently-used items, swap for something else or shop for whatever you may need and enjoy a hot chocolate while doing so.

Wheatland Lunch and Learn sessions are held at the Wheatland County Administration Building at noon. Our next session will be on Wednesday, November 18th. ‘Christmas on a Shoe String’ will be the topic. Sessions are free to all Wheatland County residents and start promptly at noon. To register, please call 403-934-5335 so we have enough food for everyone.

WHEATLAND

FAMILY & COMMUNITY SUPPORT SERVICES

Lest We Forget

Please read our article for info on current and upcoming programs.

Check out our website for current programs & events: wfcss.org

Phone: 403-934-5335

Serving Wheatland County since 1978!

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AT THE GOING DOWN OF THE SUN AND IN THE MORNING WE WILL REMEMBER THEM. REMEMBRANCE DAY. NOVEMBER 11TH

Lest We Forget Re/Max Realty Horizon

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#10 Royal Canadian Legion Strathmore With over 340,000 members, the Legion is one of Canada’s largest community-based service organizations, contributing millions of dollars and volunteer hours. They are responsible for the perpetuation of “REMEMBRANCE” in Canada through the Annual Poppy Campaign - reminding Canadians of the 117,000 men and women who gave their lives in the wars and military missions around the world. Poppy funds collected are used for assistance to veterans, ex-service members and their families who are in need.

The Strathmore #10 Royal Canadian Legion is the second oldest branch in Alberta and celebrated 85 years since receiving their charter on October 8, 1926. Previous to 1926, the Legion was known as the Great War Veterans’ Association. On Remembrance Day, November 11, the Legion holds a memorial service to remember the nation’s losses.

The ceremony starts at 10:45am (PLEASE ALL BE SEATED BY 10:45am) at the Civic Centre and lasts until 12:30pm. There will be guest speakers, and the cadets and

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They shall grow not old, As we that are left grow old: Age shall not weary them, Nor the years condemn.

At the going down of the sun And in the morning We will remember them.

RESPONSE: We will remember them.

Following the ceremony at the Civic Centre, all are welcome to attend the Field of Honour ceremony at the Strathmore Cemetery and finishing at the Legion with chili and buns. All are compliments of the Strathmore Legion. The afternoon will be spent sharing stories and comradeship with all the veterans and friends.

Lar-Don Rentals Ltd. We would like everyone to recognize Remembrance Day. Give thought to all the people who gave the ultimate sacrifice for us!

Thank you to all the veterans and present military personnel for our freedom!

Sales & Service Light Construction & Garden Equipment Trenching

t en

RCMP will donate their time to the ceremony by placing the wreaths. What a sight to behold as all the veterans will be in uniform – my chest wells with pride just thinking of it. The moment of remembrance begins with the bugling of the “Last Post,” immediately before 11:00 am with two minutes of silence and ending with the playing of a lament, the bugling of “The Rouse” and the reading of the “Act of Remembrance”.

The Act of Remembrance is generally a solo reading of the poem, with a response by all assembled. The exact wording of the Act of Remembrance is:

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Strathmore and District Agricultural Society presents

Strathmore Lions Club

CELEBRATION OF LIGHTS

8th Annual

LIGHT UP the Night Saturday, November 28, 2015 At the Strathmore & District Agricultural Grounds

FREE Hot Chocolate & Cookies by Scotiabank

Join Us and Mr. & Mrs. Claus for a fun filled evening!

Christmas Parade starts downtown at 5 pm Photos with Mr. & Mrs. Claus Sleigh Rides Charity BBQ starts at 4:30 pm sponsored

by Sobeys Strathmore served by Strathmore Lions Club Entertainment/Music Fireworks to follow! proudly supporting our community!

PLEASE JOIN US AND HAVE SOME FUN! R cky’s

Sponsored by:

Strathmore Denture Clinic All Genres DJ Services

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Raffles

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Stewart Farms

STRATHMORE

TIMES

BAKERY & CATERING SERVICES

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Altogether Different

Christmas

Our 7th Annual Ladies Night V

Thursday,November 12th 7:00 pm to 9:00 pm

Great Door Prizes In Store Demos Refreshments

Scratch n’ Save 10-50% OFF

Will once again be providing the appetizers.

Off All Regular Priced Merchandise.

Choose From Hundreds of Exclusive Items!

Please RSVP to the store by calling 403-934-3802 or emailing smorehh@telus.net by Saturday, November 7, 2015

/Save the Date Ladies Night 2015

Please bring non perishable FOOD DONATIONS for the Wheatland County Food Bank

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TOWN OF STRATHMORE HANDI-BUS Did you know that The Strathmore Handi-bus provides safe, courteous transportation service to the elderly and/or physically handicapped residents of the Town of Strathmore and Wheatland County? It enables handicapped individuals and seniors over 65 years of age to continue to reside at home, while attending vital medical appointments and participating in their active communities. It is a non-profit organization governed by a Board of Directors, which is funded in part by the Town of Strathmore, Wheatland County and private donors. .

It was brought to my attention just the other day that there are many seniors who require the use of the Handi-bus but just cannot afford to do so (this service is not free) and is just another added expense for quite a few seniors in this community. .

THIS YEAR, why not consider offering a helping hand to the seniors in your community by donating to the Handi-bus Association? I am told they know who the seniors are who are suffering the most and your donation could change the lives of many of those forgotten special residents who have made Strathmore the very special place it is.

Give it some thought – I know The Newsy Neighbour Magazine will be there to help. Pass the idea around! Perhaps your group, business and friends could help sponsor this incredible Association!

Giving Is Much Better Than Receiving!!

STOPBULLY.com - Bully Awareness Year Round.

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i

am sure many of you young folk remember when, every single Christmas, your mother would make Christmas cake – does anyone do that anymore?

My mother made it religiously every single year and I never ever ate it because it was so incredibly sweet, when all others would woo and wow about it. I never understood the attraction – maybe it was the special brandy sauce she served with it!! I’m sure that’s it! Along with the rum and eggnog, or maybe it was all the rum and eggnogs they had already had before the meal! Who knows, but now we are in the month before Christmas and I have fruit cake on my mind; it might have to do with the eggnog I just saw at the grocery store… seriously?! It’s only October 8th!

In an effort to try and bring back some old fashioned Christmas traditions into your life, not only will I share my mother’s Christmas cake recipe, but also how to make your own eggnog (more affordable than store bought and no preservatives).

Grandma’s Christmas Cake 2 cups sugar 2 cups raisins 2 cups water 1 cup butter, cubed 3-1/2 cups all-purpose flour 1 teaspoon baking soda 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon 1/2 teaspoon each ground nutmeg and cloves 1 cup chopped pecans

BRANDY BUTTER SAUCE:

1 cup heavy whipping cream 1 cup butter, cubed 1 cup sugar 4 egg yolks, lightly beaten 1/4 cup Brandy

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Joys

In a large saucepan, combine the sugar, raisins, water and butter.

Bring to a boil. Reduce heat to medium; cook, uncovered, for 5 minutes or until sugar is dissolved. Remove from the heat; cool.

In a large bowl, combine the flour, baking soda, cinnamon, nutmeg and cloves. Add raisin mixture; beat until blended. Fold in pecans. Pour into a greased and floured 10-in. fluted tube pan.

Bake at 350° for 45-55 minutes or until cake springs back when lightly touched. Cool for 10 minutes before removing from pan to a wire rack to cool completely. For sauce, in a large saucepan, bring cream to a boil; stir in butter and sugar until smooth.

Reduce heat; stir a small amount of hot liquid into egg yolks. Return all to the pan, stirring constantly. Cook until sauce is slightly thickened and coats the back of a spoon (do not boil). Remove from the heat; stir in brandy. Serve warm with cake. Yield: 12 servings.

Now, I may not be too keen on Christmas cake, but let me tell you – when it comes to eggnog, that is a completely different story! But only when rum is involved! I cannot drink the store bought eggnog because I am allergic to both cinnamon and nutmeg (and all other spices in that family). So homemade is my only option when it comes to rum and eggnog – my special Christmas treat.

Homemade Eggnog

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Makes 6 cups, recipe can be easily scaled up or down 6 large eggs 1 cup sugar 2 cups whole milk 1 cup heavy cream 1/2 to 1 1/2 cup bourbon, rum, cognac, or a mix, optional Freshly grated nutmeg, to serve Separate the eggs, placing the yolks in one bowl and the whites in another. Cover the whites and refrigerate until needed (or freeze if aging the eggnog for longer than a day).

Whisk the yolks with the sugar in a medium mixing bowl.

Whisk by hand, or with a mixer, until the mixture is smooth and creamy, and it has lightened to a lemon-yellow colour.

Whisk the milk, cream, and liquor (if using) and pour into the bowl with the egg mixture and whisk until combined. Cover the bowl and chill in the refrigerator for at least an hour. The more liquor you add, the longer it will keep — non-alcoholic eggnog should be consumed within a day. If aging for longer than a few days, transfer the eggnog to a sealed glass container or a mason jar. Whisk the egg whites just before serving in a stand mixer or with a hand mixer at high speed until the whites form stiff The Newsy Neighbour Magazine

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Altogether Different

This holiday se2ason give them a gift they’ll treasure for a lifetime and spark a NEW FAMILY TRADITION! If you just b2e2lie2ve2,

you will embark on a

magical journe2y

to the North Pole, aboard

THE POLAR EXPRESS™ Train Ride!

To purchase your gift tickets, visit: AspenCrossing.com or Call 1-866-440-3500 peaks then add the beaten egg whites to the bowl with the eggnog and gently fold or stir the whites into the base — this gives the eggnog a frothy, extra-creamy texture. Some of the egg whites will also float to the top, like cappuccino foam. Pour into a pitcher or punch bowl. Serve in individual glasses with a grating of nutmeg over top.

Proposing?

Are you ready to propose to the love of

Recipe Notes This recipe contains raw eggs so try to use very fresh, organic eggs if at all possible. Consuming raw or undercooked eggs can increase your risk for certain food-borne illnesses, especially if you have a medical condition.

Cooked Eggnog: If you’d prefer to cook your eggnog, follow these instructions. Warm the milk and cream in a saucepan over medium heat until just starting to bubble around the edges. Meanwhile whisk the egg yolks together in a separate bowl.

Slowly whisk the warm milk into the eggs, then return the mixture to medium heat and continue to cook, stirring gently, until thickened to your eggnog-y liking. Serve immediately or chill for up to 3 days before serving. For extra thickness, whip 1 cup of whipping cream and fold into the eggnog before serving.

There you have it! Now you can add “Christmas Cake” and homemade “Eggnog” to create your own special Christmas tradition for this year and for years to come!

Cheers Kathryn Hartwell

your life?

Picture This... soft music in your beautiful cabin. Wake Fresh flowers, chilled champagne and

to a two-course hot breakfast served in the cozy kitchen of your cabin and while you sip your coffee enjoy the view of the lake and the mountains. We’ll take you for a sleigh ride in the afternoon and while you warm up in the hot tub, we will prepare a three course dinner topped off with a decadent dessert! While you linger over coffee and dessert, we’ll turn down your bed, light the candles and place chocolates on your pillows. Where to propose…on the sleigh ride, in the hot tub, snuggled into layers of luxurious linens or curled up in front of the fireplace? The possibilities are endless!

We’ll make sure every detail is

Perfect!

Tel: 1.403.934.6974 Email: info@rockingrguestranch.com /Rocking-R-Guest-Ranch www.rockingrguestranch.com facebook.com/TheNewsyNeighbour

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FAMILY PAGE

Cristmas in November

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Who on earth ever thought about having Christmas in November? That is exactly what is happening at

my house this year because we will not all be here on the traditional December 25th Christmas Day, so we are celebrating this special event just a little early.

NOW, I’m probably the BIGGEST celebrator of Christmas you may ever meet, but it struck me today that Christmas really is in your heart so it does not matter if you have Christmas in October or December – the date itself does not matter; it is the celebration of what Christmas stands for is what is important and in everyone’s heart, Christmas is different.

Some ways to celebrate Christmas that are non-traditional can sometimes be difficult to accept (for me) when you are used to doing things one way for so long, but they can also be fun to experience!

My family’s Christmases have always been traditional, but there are ways you can make changes. I've written this article with some non-traditional and fun ways to celebrate Christmas in hopes that you might find a great idea, in any month of the year.

Skip the Gift Exchange

I’m thinking this will happen in our house next year. When you have a large family, gift giving can add up, so this idea is wallet friendly as well. A good idea would be to have each family member pitch in to cover one large cost of tickets to see a game or all go out to a restaurant that everyone can enjoy

Go Cultural

I love this idea – it could be so much fun! Pick a country that everyone agrees on, and celebrate Christmas in the same way that country does it! Decorate your home in a similar style, prepare your food in the same manner, and choose traditions from this country to carry out in your own home. We are doing this next year for sure!

Go on Vacation

This would never work in my family, as we have problems getting everyone together at the best of times. But, if I could pull it off, it would be a GO for me!! Get a cabin up in the mountains somewhere, a beach resort, or a family favourite. Now all I need to do is win the lottery.

Change up the Main Course

We make turkey every single Christmas, but why not mix it up a bit? Have a Christmas chicken, or maybe a large brunch. How about a seafood buffet (again, that would involve winning the lottery) but I would be all over that idea!

Volunteering

Why not get your whole family to volunteer at a local shelter or hospital on Christmas Day? This is certainly one of the non-traditional ways to celebrate Christmas! You may never know how much it means to the people in those shelters when you volunteer your time to help out, especially on a day like Christmas Day.

Give Gifts from Around the House

My kids love this idea, haha! No really it is truly amazing the hidden treasures I have found to put into their Christmas bags. Old toys from when they were very little, mementoes from their late grandfather, special pictures, baby blankets, certificates from school and, of course, I always include baking and canning.

I love putting these bags together for my family and I think they are all surprised by some of the (unique) items included!!

Kathryn Hartwell

Inspiration from allwomenstalk.com and peomhunter.com

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The Newsy Neighbour Magazine

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Altogether Different

Chocolate Christmas Eve Twas the night before Christmas and all round my hips Were Fannie May candies that sneaked past my lips.

Fudge brownies were stored in the freezer with care, In hopes that my thighs would forget they were there.

While Mama in her girdle and I in chin straps Had just settled down to sugar-borne naps.

When out in the pantry there arose such a clatter, I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the kitchen I flew like a flash, Tore open the icebox then threw up the sash.

The marshmallow look of the new-fallen snow Sent thoughts of a binge to my body below.

When what to my wandering eyes should appear: A marzipan Santa with eight chocolate reindeer!

That huge chunk of candy so luscious and slick I knew in a second that I’d wind up sick.

The sweet-coated Santa, those sugared reindeer, I closed my eyes tightly but still I could hear; On Pritzker, on Stillman, on weak one, on TOPS A Weight Watcher dropout from sugar detox.

From the top of the scales to the top of the hall Now dash away pounds; now dash away all.

Dressed up in Lane Bryant from my head to nightdress My clothes were all bulging from too much excess.

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My droll little mouth and my round little belly They shook when I laughed like a bowl full of jelly.

I spoke not a word but went straight to my work Ate all of the candy then turned with a jerk.

There were two snowmen in a field. One turned to the other and said, “I don’t know about you, but I can smell carrots!”

And laying a finger beside my heartburn Gave a quick nod toward the bedroom I turned.

I eased into bed, to the heavens I cry If temptation’s removed I’ll get thin by and by.

Christmas is in my heart twelve months a year and thanks to credit cards, it’s on my Visa Card Statement twelve months a year as well.

And I mumbled again as I turned for the night “In the morning I’ll starve... ‘til I take that first bite!” ~Author Unknown

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• 31

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This guy goes into his dentist’s office because something is wrong with his mouth. After a brief examination, the dentist exclaims, “Holy smokes! That plate I installed in your mouth about six months ago has nearly completely corroded! What on earth have you been eating?”“Well... the only thing I can think of is this... my wife made me some asparagus about four months ago with this stuff on it... Hollandaise sauce, she called it... and doctor, I’m talkin’ DELICIOUS! I’ve never tasted anything like it, and ever since then I’ve been putting it on everything... meat, fish, toast, vegetables... you name it!” “That’s probably it,” replied the dentist. “Hollandaise sauce is made with lemon juice, which is acidic and highly corrosive. It seems as though I’ll have to install a new plate, but made out of chrome this time.” “Why chrome?” the man asked. “Well, everyone knows that there’s no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise!”

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Christmas Party Joke Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company’s Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn’t taste like alcohol at all. He didn’t even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.

Opening his eyes, the first thing that he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick: “Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make you your favourite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! Love, Jillian.”

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, “Son... What happened last night?”

Confused, Jack asked his son, “So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me??”

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His son replies, “Oh THAT! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, ‘Leave me alone, I’m married!!’”

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“Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind.

You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door.”

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32 •

Email: jenny@phoenixsigns.ca

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The Newsy Neighbour Magazine

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Altogether Different

STRATHMORE LIONS CLUB Box 217. Strathmore, Alberta. T1P 1K2

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Cocktails: 6:30 pm Dinner: 7:00 pm Dance to Follow Tickets available through any LIONS club member or contact:

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X-M

AS

The Present Prison Holdin’ Holden

L

Jenny Schoberl is a 30 year old professional musician turned stay-at-home. In order to keep some semblance of her adult-brain working, she began writing the popular Mommy Blog “Holdin’ Holden” in 2008, which receives over 1,000 unique hits per day. Jenny also enjoys entertaining her ever-growing Facebook Fan Page with over 51,000 fans who have dubbed her the “Howard Stern of Mommy Blogging”. Contact Jenny at http:// holdinholden.com or email her at: holdinholden@yahoo.com

ast year, as I sat on the cusp of what the schools like to call “Winter Break” and I looked to what the two weeks leading up to Christmas without school could hold, all I wanted to do was curl up in a corner and cry.

Maybe that’s dramatic, but most parents know that Winter Break is nothing more than a cruel play on words. A break for WHOM, exactly? It sure ain’t for us parents! My kids are going to fight nonstop for 14 days, and there’s not a single thing I can do about it.

You can call them bad kids, you can say that I need to police them more, or “teach them to get along”- and I will sit here making the stupidest face you can imagine. The kind you’d make when you were little and your mom would threaten your face would freeze that way if you kept it up. It just isn’t reality. I can’t teach my kids to get along. They are at an age where no matter WHAT, they’re going to fight. And I’m at an age where attempting to stop them would do nothing but drive me insane. That’s a cold hard fact, right there.

So what am I going to do? What are YOU going to do? All the threats of Santa not coming and coal in their stockings and creepy little elves on shelves only works so well, so what about all the maddening downtime?

Tossing their butts outside is short-lived, because it’s getting to the point where it’s just too cold and there’s that whole “love” thing that prevents you from letting their whiny butts freeze. You can’t sell them on Craigslist, because no one wants a mouthy little kid under the tree (and also, it’s illegal). Day drinking is just frowned upon (although a very attractive option at times).

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thenewsyneighbour.com

It wasn’t until we were walking in the front door right after school and, before I could even unlock the door, they started fighting and I threatened to call Santa for the bajillionth time that it dawned on me: the perfect punishment. The last and final way I had to get them to STOP FIGHTING AND GET ALONG! IT’S THE HOLIDAY SEASON! IT’S ALMOST CHRISTMAS, DAMMIT! LOVE ONE ANOTHER AND ALL THAT CRAP! Drastic measures obviously needed to be taken. The kids knew I meant business when I pulled out the craft supplies. I do NOT craft. I hate to craft. If I am crafting, you had better get away from me, or fear for your safety.

I took all of the presents marked for the boys already under the tree, and I put them in prison. THAT’S RIGHT! I PUT THEM IN PRESENT PRISON! PRISON!!!!!! It’s no masterpiece, but you get the point. I added a sign, for good measure.

“PRESENT PRISON You’ve been naughty instead of nice, and lost your gifts because of silly fights.

To earn them back do something WARM, or get nothing but COAL on Christmas morn.”

To some it may seem silly, and to others it may seem extreme- but once the kids realized their presents were all gone and found the bag with the sign, it sparked a conversation.

But why?

You don’t only get presents on Christmas morning because I love you and want to give you things, but because you have been good and deserve to be given something. Same goes for Santa.

But what does warm mean?

Oh, how I’d have loved to respond with “IT MEANS DON’T BE AN A-HOLE!” but I knew even getting THEM to ask was a step in the right direction, so I had to treat my answers carefully. I won’t go into long obnoxious detail about our “love each other, have respect, listen, and share” conversation, but what I WILL tell you is that they did not fight for the rest of the day. They went out of their way to be nice to one another. That had NEVER happened before.

Now, I may have been on the brink of insanity, but I’m not crazy.

Present Prison gave me one afternoon of total peace, and that’s a gift that keeps on giving!

The Newsy Neighbour Magazine

•

Altogether Different

Chestermere Regional Recreation Centre MINI ENERGIZER

Wed, Jan 69h 6 – 8 pm Rec Centre

Clubs and Organizations interested in having a table to share upcoming programs and services please email recreation@chestermerecrca.com

R E N T A L S P R O G R A M S & M O R E

Community Christmas Party

Upcoming Programs—more info on our website!

Santa’s Workshop – Crafts & Activities.

Pre-School Open Gym Wed 9—10:30 am CRCA YogArt Wed eves for 1—14 yrs Learn to Skate for Preschoolers on Tues & Thurs Youth Drop In Volleyball Wed 6—7:30 Zumba Mon & Wed @ 6 or Tues @ 8 Adult Drop in Volleyball Tues & Wed Adult Drop in Badminton Wed

Saturday, December 5th Rec Centre Main Hall 12 – 4 pm Musical Performances by local talent!

Coffee, hot chocolate, treats & Santa visit!

Hayrides Outside: 1 – 3 pm

Christmas Marketplace Shopping Lots of homemade crafts!

Saturday, December 5th

10 am - 4 pm Chestermere Rec Centre MPP Room WANTED! For the Community Christmas Party Dec 5th

 

Singers, choirs, musicians etc to perform Organizations to host an activity station  Volunteers & Sponsors and Donations

If you would like to participate, please email recreation @chestermerecrca.com

FRIDAY AFTERNOON SKI/SNOWBOARD TRIPS TO COP for ages 9 – 17 A Supervised CRCA Rec Program Bus leaves at 3:20-returns at 9:30 Session 1: Dec 4th, Dec 11th, Jan 8th and Jan 15th Session 2: Jan 29th, Feb 5th, Feb 12th and Feb 26th Cost per Session: Lift & Bus: $200.00 Bus Only: $60.00 Jelly Bean Dance Fri Nov 28th 7—930 Main Hall at the Rec Centre for Gr 4—8 $7.00 Tickets at the Door / Volunteers Needed!

Packages now available!

For more info and for all your event needs call Jocelyn @ 403-272-7170.

Register for CRCA Programs online at www.chestermerecrca.com or the Rec Centre Main Office Need more information ? Contact us at 403-272-7170 or email recreation@chestermerecrca.com (Vicki )

On November 20, 2015 Celebrate

National Child Day Article by: 5 for Life An Early Childhood Development Coalition

www.5forlifeforever.com

N

P U B L I C S K A T I N G & E V E N T S

b) express their views about things that directly affect them and actively participate in their communities, programs and services and c) be protected from abuse, neglect, exploitation and discrimination. In Alberta, not all children have access to some of the basics – affordable housing or quality childcare. As a community, we can work together on some of these issues.

This year the theme of National Child Day is “It’s Our Right to Learn”. Children have a right to learn through play. Exploring the outdoors is a great start and builds problem solving skills and independence. The right to learn about rights is also important and UNICEF has great activities to make sure that parents and children are aware of their rights.

Our 5 for Life coalition would like to celebrate National Child with you with some fun, food and friendship. Stay tuned for more information about our 5 For Life National Child Day event.

Go to www.5forlifeforever.com.

National Child Day has been celebrated since 1993 when the Government of Canada proclaimed that November 20th would be the official National Child Day.

Remember: “Our most precious resource is our children”

This day was chosen to commemorate two documents that were centered on children’s rights: the United Nations Declaration of the Child (Nov. 20, 1959) and the United Nations Conventions on the Rights of the Child. (Nov. 20, 1989).

Visit the following websites for a list of activities that you can engage in with your child(ren).

As quoted from www.nationalchildday.ca, all children have the right to…a) an adequate standard of living, health care and play,

STOPBULLY.com - Bully Awareness Year Round.

www.nationalchildday.ca and www.cccf-fcsge.ca/parents facebook.com/TheNewsyNeighbour

• 35

Indus Christmas Market

Banquet Hall Rentals and Catering Services

November. 14, 2015

Bow Valley Agricultural Society AGM November 17, 2015 @ 7:30pm

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KIDS

It’s hard to believe the kids have been back in school for over 2 months now!

I barely remember the summer and what on earth happened to October? I’m sure after a month of making your children healthy lunches you are starting to get a little irritated and grouchy with the whole lunch ordeal. It’s really hard to come up with original and different ideas that your kids are going to eat and not dump into the garbage. I have shared ideas with you every year, and when I do I always get a great big “Thank you!” from grateful parents; this year shall be no different and I have some tremendous, super ideas for you! The cavalry has arrived! It’s time to think outside the box.

• How about a grilled cheese sandwich wrapped in foil? It won’t be piping hot, but the great grilled cheese flavour will still be there.

• Or, while making dinner the night before, think about the ingredients you’re using that can also serve as the basis for a healthy lunch the next day. Grill extra chicken breasts at dinnertime to make a wrap or a burrito, or dice them to make a chicken salad sandwich.

• You can also make a large batch of pulled barbecue chicken in a slow cooker ahead of time and enjoy it throughout the week. Serve with lettuce leaves or with a whole-wheat bun.

• If your child likes rice, you might want to consider rice balls. One of the easiest ways to make healthy rice balls for lunch is to take a handful of cooked, brown sticky rice, add some lean meat or vegetable filling in the center and top it with more rice. Gently compress and roll the mixture with both hands until it forms a solid ball. Experiment with various fillings, such as pieces of grilled chicken or

36 •

thenewsyneighbour.com

For more news and events please visit our website.

403-936-5474

www.indusrec.ca

Indus is located approximately 15km East of Calgary on Hwy 22x

pork or your favourite leftovers.

• Mixed nuts, chips, pretzels and other snacks can be doled out in small portions every other day to keep lunches fun. Offer fruits and vegetables that are easy to eat. Cut celery sticks and fill with low fat cream cheese or offer dips for fruits and vegetables like raw broccoli or carrots. Kids like things that crunch.

• My whole family loves meatloaf and asks for it for their birthday dinners – I’m not kidding! But, I do make the best meatloaf around. If your children love meatloaf as much as mine, make them a meatloaf sandwich for lunch; there is nothing better.

• There’s something primal about eating food on a stick; you can create healthy kebabs for lunch by skewering grilled fish or chicken, and add small pieces of whole-wheat toast and lettuce.

Skewers also work well to make fruit kebabs using apples, strawberries and blueberries. For extra flair, cut the apple slices into star shapes with a cookie cutter.

• How about breakfast for lunch? French toast and cereal of their choice, with a muffin and granola bar. You can even put in a little container of syrup for dipping.

• One of my own personal favourite lunch snacks is turkey hotdogs, sliced in half, with a slice of cheese in between and roll inside of a crescent dinner roll. You could add cheese, ham, chicken, pepperoni or turkey. You can roll pretty much anything into a crescent dinner roll; use your imagination. (Follow the baking directions!)

• Waffle sandwiches – your kids will love them! Send along a bag of fresh blueberries. Instead of peanut butter, use Nutella or almond butter for the filling; they will be coming home looking for more.

You will always want to pack at least one fruit or vegetable in your child’s lunch bag to help re-energize their bodies. Lunch is an important meal and eating even a small lunch can renew energy and help your child feel refreshed and ready to take on the next several hours. In addition, eating lunch keeps their metabolism active. Extended periods of not eating anything between large meals create gaps that keeps their metabolism from staying active. Lunch may have even more importance for school-aged children than it does for adults. Since most kids don’t get breakfast or dinner at school and may not have any snacks until they get home, lunch is the only meal they have to power them through the day.

Remember, children succeed in school as well as grow and develop successfully and healthfully when they have a healthy lunch!

Kathryn Hartwell Ideas from: parentmap.com, crazyadventuresinparenting.com and veryculinary.com

The Newsy Neighbour Magazine

•

Altogether Different

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• 37

Langdon The Good Luck Town

Alberta

Lily Dale, New York There is a Hamlet like Langdon (but much smaller) in Upstate New York, but this Hamlet has something different going on...

The Upstate New York Town That Talks To The Dead The hamlet of Lily Dale is home to largest spiritualist community in the world. While Lily Dale’s year-round population is a mere 275, each year approximately 22,000-25,000 visitors pass through its gates for classes, workshops, public church services, mediumship demonstrations, lectures, and private appointments with mediums.

Like most towns, Lily Dale has a post office, volunteer fire department, library and a playground. There’s a coffee shop, two restau-

rants, a couple of gift shops, a handful of guest houses and a museum. But for the past 135 years, the town has also been home to the Lily Dale Spiritualist Assembly, a religious organization of healers and mediums who claim to communicate messages from those who have passed on to those still living on the earthly plane.

People worldwide travel to Lily Dale in search of answers, in search of community or just to enjoy the beauty and tranquility of the town itself. Beverly Burdick-Carey, one of 15 mediums who live permanently at Lily Dale, is one of several people who noted a shift toward a search for something beyond material worth.

“More and more people who are coming to see a medium are coming for spiritual purposes,” Burdick-Carey said, “not only whether they should marry Joe or Bill or if they should buy a blue or green car. They want to know about their spirituality; what they can do to uplift their spirituality.” www.oddee.com

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The Newsy Neighbour Magazine

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Altogether Different

Taking Care of Your Dental Health During Pregnancy

LANGDON GLASS

Pregnancy - an exciting time that ushers in many changes to a woman’s body – including the mouth.

ALBERT JAMES

Normal hormonal fluctuations that happen throughout a pregnancy can increase a woman’s risk of developing gum disease – a condition that impacts the health of the mother and her unborn child. Why is dental care so important before during and after pregnancy? The hormonal changes that prepare a woman for delivery and breast feeding also changes the pH balance of the mouth – increasing the formation of plaque and causing puffy, bleeding gums.

Pregnancy Gingivitis Gingivitis isn’t any fun regardless of whether you’re pregnant or not – but the condition is heightened during the months of pregnancy due to the varying levels of hormones. Diagnosed by red, puffy gums that bleed easily when poked – this condition is probably the number one dental concern during gestation.

During pregnancy the hormone progesterone can be 10 times its usual level – increasing the formation of bacteria (plaque) that irritates and inflames gums. Add to the mix that a woman’s immune system is working twice as hard during pregnancy making fighting bacterial changes and increased inflammation an additional strain on the body. And it’s the increase in oral inflammation that can contribute to gestational diabetes, premature birth and low birth weight. Controlling and preventing gingivitis is important to everyone’s health – including the unborn child.

Dental Cleanings Throughout Pregnancy Regular professional dental cleanings are never a bad idea, as during a cleaning, deposits of plaque and calculus are removed and periodontal pockets are irrigated. Plaque and calculus are merely deposits of bacteria, one being soft and the other being a hard deposit. Removing bacterial deposits reduces a source of irritation for gums – and helps lower inflammation – which is not just occurring in the mouth, but also systemically. During pregnancy regular cleanings are recommended to maintain oral health and prevent dental issues that may impact mother and

baby’s health.

Taking care of your oral health while pregnant not only helps keep you healthy, but also contributes to the health of your unborn child.

For all your Commercial & Residential needs Journeyman Glazier

403.371.7424

langdonglass@gmail.com

Street Smart Kids Saturday, Nov. 21. 9:30am - 11:30am.

Ages 6-12; $25 + GST. Personal safety skills, what to do if they’re lost or need help, and staying safe when walking to and from school.

Home Alone

Saturday, Nov. 28. 9:30am - 11:30am Ages 10+ and younger siblings 6+ $40 + GST; $35 + GST for siblings Prepares children to be more responsible and safe when home alone for short periods of time.

To learn more about these courses please visit:

www.goodlucktown.ca

Gail Schmidt Top Producer 2007 - 2014

Because a Great Experience Begins with a Great Agent!

Cell:

403.993.4550 • gschmidt@cirrealty.ca www.gailschmidt.com www.langdonliving.com

Your Neighbourhood Dentist (403) 936-8432 www.langdondental.com 109-355 Centre Street NW SS 2 Langdon, AB T0J 1X2

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• 39

Shaken & Stirred

Tattered Yet PROUDLY CANADIAN

Marcy enjoys helping others experience the joy in life. She started Mountain Lion Leadership, in 2003. As a leadership & community advocate, she is actively involved with organizations & businesses working to aid growth and development.

This is combined with a passion to see women grow both personally & professionally whatever their stage of life. Contact Marcy: marcy@mlleadership.com. Follow Marcy on Twitter @MarcyLField to my profile.

40 •

he campaigning is over.

Votes were cast and counted, resulting in a greater change than anticipated, sending a resounding message to Canada’s politicians.

For the first time in almost 10 years our country returned to a Liberal government, providing them with an unexpected majority. Despite of, or perhaps because of, its length citizens engaged in Campaign 2015. More conversations were shared than previously witnessed at any point by this writer. Canadians were divided and polarized in their perspectives vocally on social media, yet in face-to-face conversations, respectful and informed discussions occurred. Elections Canada was not prepared for the people that showed up to exercise their right to vote. Some were denied that right and walked away because of long lineups or closed doors, the result of new guidelines, poorly trained or uninformed staff, and even a lack of ballots.

Democracy is not easy. It is worth learning about and fighting for. Elections form a starting point for a complex process that includes the right to vote, democratic accountability, laws that hold the government, its officials and agents, as well as individuals and private entities accountable. The ideal model is complete when there is respect for human rights.

thenewsyneighbour.com

Things changed on Monday, October 19th, yet they remain the same (some believe) unless we, the constituents, continue to maintain a watchful eye and engage with our elected officials. It is not up them to make Canada a better place; it is up to all of us, so let’s figure it out together.

Many issues need to be tackled and each of us prioritizes them differently. I believe a good place to begin is election reform. Our broken system gave this government, like the last one, 100% of the power with 39% of the votes. This proves the first-past-thepost system that voters and politicians have criticized for years does not provide fair representation of what the people want.

Proportional representation occurs when electorate votes are reflected proportionately in Parliament. If 30% of the electorate supports a particular political party, then that party wins roughly 30% of seats. Prior to and during the election, the Liberals indicated they were committed to election reform within 18 months.

If we want a system that more fully represents Canadians wishes, we need to hold them to this. The fact that they would not lay claim to the same number of seats under a proportional system may create resistance; however, there exists an ethical obligation on their part to follow through. As a majority government, they have the power and ability to do this. It provides opportunity for Prime Minister Trudeau to show his commitment to real change.

This government, like all governments, will excel or will fail if Canadians allow them to. What comes next is really up to us. While an election is important, its benefits are by no means assured.

Older democracies need to prove they are relevant to their citizens. Openness and accountability provide the framework for a thriving democracy.

Being Canadian is more than living in this great land, flying our flag, placing it on your luggage/backpack or even voting. As Canadians we need to fly the maple leaf with pride. If it is ripped or tattered, replace it or please take it down. The same applies to anything you believe needs change in the true North strong and free. Be that change – make it happen. Life no longer allows us to just sit idly on the sidelines complaining. Members of parliament are meant to represent their constituents. I don’t know one who is a mind reader so let them know what you are thinking. Share your concerns. If you don’t like what is happening call, write or connect with them directly via social media.

Change can be difficult but it is a constant. Canada has managed it well for almost 150 years. Although we are sending representatives to Ottawa, our future is not wholly in their hands. Canada works because we’re in it together. Let’s keep it that way.

Politics

The Newsy Neighbour Magazine

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Altogether Different

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Outstanding Jocktalk

CFL Post Season Awards! t’s November! The ski season is right around the corner and it’s playoff time in the Canadian Football League.

While it’s difficult to predict how the Calgary Stampeders will fare in this year’s tournament, you do have to give this team credit for not being the prettiest girl at the dance, but always finding a way to keep their dance card full. 9 different starters on the offensive line and over 70 players dressing for at least one game because of injuries.

“It speaks to the compete level of this team,” beamed John Hufnagel after he won his 100th CFL game as a head coach. “They (the players) win a lot of football games for a reason, they’re good football players but they prepare and get themselves ready to play.”

Although I don’t officially get a vote for the team outstanding player awards, our colour analyst on Newstalk 770 Greg Peterson does. Since he always asks for my input before he hands his selections into the league office, I thought I would share my selections with the wonderful readers of the Newsy Neighbour.

Most Outstanding Player

Marquay McDaniel This was a tough three horse race between quarterback Bo Levi Mitchell and his two top targets, Eric Rogers and McDaniel. After every game, Peterson selects our four stars of the game. Rogers and McDaniel each won the award 4 times during the season.

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Mitchell won it 3 times. While Rogers leads the CFL in all the sexy offensive categories like TD’s, receiving yards, 30 plus yard catches and 2nd down catches, I had to go with McDaniel. Marquay is money! When he is targeted, he makes the catch 78% of the time.

He’s number one in the league in yards after the catch and the coaches rave how he is one of the best blockers down the field.

Most Outstanding Defensive Player

Deron Mayo

Another tough choice between Freddie Bishop and Mayo. Mayo is considered one of the best pure athletes on the team and his versatility did not go unnoticed when he had to fill for MLB Juwan Simpson down the stretch. Mayo has started every single game and he leads the team in tackles.

Most Outstanding Canadian

Junior Turner

Sorry Jon Cornish! Injuries finally caught up to you. Turner took a much bigger role on the defensive line this season because of the injury to fellow Canadian Corey Mace. The 5th year Bishops grad did not disappoint.

Most Outstanding Offensive Lineman

Pierre Lavertu

Pierre had tough shoes to fill as he replaced the best offensive The Newsy Neighbour Magazine

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lineman in the league last season in Brett Jones. Lavertu was the one consistent on the line this season and was a true warrior playing hurt early in the season. As a second year player, he will only get better and one day could win the award as the best lineman in the league.

Most Outstanding Rookie

William Langlais

Picking were a little slim on the rookie front for the Stampeders as number one pick Karl Lavoie suffered a season ending knee injury in week four. I had to narrow it down to Langlais (2015 third round pick out of Sherbrooke) or Derek Wiggan (2014 fourth round pick from Queens). The only reason I am going with Langlais is he has been a consistent performer on special teams.

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4) Rider Nation! The free fall started in week one with an injury to quarterback Darian Durant and it went from bad to worse.

The defiant arrogance of head coach Corey Chamblin. The Riders have a lot of work to do in the off season.

5) Jasper Simmons! Re-tweeting his agent that the Stampeders were “the worst” organization in the CFL got him traded to the Winnipeg Blue Bombers. He never made the Bombers active roster and he released 3 weeks later. He’s now out of a job and his 5 minutes of fame is over.

About Jock Wilson: Jock has been involved in the Calgary sport media scene for over 30 years. He hosts the Calgary Stampeder football broadcasts on News Talk 770 and is the co-host of Sportstalk with Mark Stephen from 6:30 pm to 9:00 pm.

Most Outstanding Special Teams Player

Rene Paredes

After a disappointing 2014 season, Parades has regained his form, kicking 3 game winning field goals and hitting close to 90% of his attempts. A little pre-season pressure from rookie Tyler Crapigna was exactly what the doctor ordered! By the way, Paredes was named a star 7 times on our post game show this season, giving him scoreboard on all other players on the team.

As the regular season is winding down in the CFL, here are my top 5 fails of the season: 1) Football in Fort Mac! It was a disappointing crowd of only 4900 to watch the Toronto Argonauts host the Edmonton Eskimos in week one.

2) Montreal Fires Tom Higgins! Week 9 of the season after a win in Vancouver, Higgins receives a 15 second phone call from his owner to let him know he was being relieved of his duties. A sleazy move by GM Jim Popp that blows up in his face.

3) Michael Sam! Another Jim Popp mistake, thinking he is smarter than everybody else in the room. Sam admitted he never really wanted to play in the CFL. I guess the film did lie because he was never good enough to play in this league.

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Leela Sharon Aheer MLA

STRATHMORE LIONS CLUB

I am thrilled to be part of the Newsy Neighbour family. While I do not have the honour of representing Strathmore residents, you are ably served by my Wildrose colleague Derek Fildebrandt.

Please contact his office at: 403-934-4400 or Strathmore.brooks@assembly.ab.ca.

Box 217. Strathmore, Alberta. T1P 1K2

Celebrating 77 years of service!

Wine & Cheese Open House As you know we have come to the end of another beautiful summer. It’s been a very busy time for everyone.

The Strathmore Lions Club would like to thank the community for their support over the past 77 years. We appreciate the time and dedication the volunteers gave us throughout those many years. Without the donations and support of the community we would not be able to provide our services as thoroughly as we do year after, year.

Hello to all my constituents in Chestermere – Rocky View!

At this time, we are inviting all to join us for free evening on us November 19th 2015, 6:30 pm to 10:00 pm for an open house at the Strathmore Golf Course.

We would also like to invite anyone interested in volunteering with the Lions Club, to please join us.

Well, the Federal Election is over.

Following redistributions reflected in the election, I would like to congratulate returning Conservative MPs Blake Richards from Banff – Airdrie, John Barlow in Foothills, and our newest MP in the new riding of Bow River, Martin Shields. All three enjoyed resounding victories and will carry the voice of our residents to the new government in Ottawa. I would also like to thank returning MP Kevin Sorenson in Crowfoot for his years of able representation of some of my constituents. Martin Shields will pick up where Kevin left off.

We look forward to seeing you there!

As our former Prime Minister Stephen Harper said, the people have spoken and the people are always right. Voters in many regions of the country wanted a change and they certainly got it! I am confident that new Prime Minister Trudeau and his fellow MPs are well aware that in order to have a prosperous Canada, we need a prosperous Alberta. Canada is a trading nation and Alberta alone is responsible for roughly 20% of our exports. We are looking for aggressive action to improve market access for our products to maximise the benefits to Alberta and all of Canada.

Any questions or concerns, please contact Shelley Hall 587-727-0369 Tera Spyce 587-437-5513 Bruce Bishop 403-888-9914

“The happiest people don’t have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything.”

–Unknown

“When you want something you’ve never had, you have to do something you’ve never done.”

We will have to await the new federal government’s first budget to see what the impact on our pocketbooks will be. I suspect that many of my fellow citizens will be surprised to find out that they are classed as the “rich” that our new Prime Minister singled out for tax increases during the campaign. Speaking of budgets, as this issue goes to press, the provincial government should have introduced their own first budget now that they no longer fear hurting the electoral chances of their federal counterparts. I urge all of you to pay careful attention to their proposals. Please contact me with your ideas and input! You may be assured that the Wildrose team will be proposing constructive changes in the interests of all Albertans.

–Unknown

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths.

These persons have an appreciation, sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.” –Unknown

The Provincial Wildrose Annual General Meeting will be held at the Coast Plaza Hotel in NE Calgary on November 13 and 14.

We hope to see you there. Nobody has a monopoly on good ideas and we want yours! Visit www.wildrose.ca for details and to purchase a ticket. The Chestermere – Rocky View Constituency Association will be holding its AGM on November 28. All our members are welcome to attend. Details will be posted online.

On November 6th I will be attending the dedication of the new Cenotaph in Chestermere by the beach. It was on another beach in faraway Normandy in June of 1944 that many of our forebears paid the ultimate price. Please join me on this occasion and on Remembrance Day in Chestermere at the new Cenotaph as we honour those who died so that we can live in freedom in the best country in the world.

“A bird sitting on a tree is never afraid of the branch breaking, because her trust is not on the branch but on its own wings. Always believe in yourself” – Unknown 44 •

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Come In For A Trusted Check-up!

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DRIVING IN CALGARY Please note, this is a joke! Please don’t drive like anything suggested in this JOKE! 1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A real Calgary driver never uses them.

2. Under no circumstance should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, or the space will be filled in by somebody else, putting you in an even more dangerous situation.

3. The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have of getting hit.

4. Never, ever come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects it and it will result in you being rear-ended.

5. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork. Alberta is a no-fault insurance province and the other guy doesn’t have anything to lose.

6. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it’s a chance to stretch your legs.

7. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It’s a good way to scare people entering the highway.

8. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as a suggestion and are apparently not enforceable in Calgary during rush hour.

9. Just because you’re in the left lane and have no room to speed up or move over doesn’t mean that a Calgary driver flashing his high beams behind you doesn’t think he can go faster in your spot.

10. Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone changing a tire.

11. Learn to swerve abruptly. Calgary is the home of the highspeed slalom driving thanks to the Provincial Highway Department, which puts pot-holes in key locations to test drivers’ reflexes and keep them on their toes.

12. It is traditional in Calgary to honk your horn at cars that don’t move the instant the light turns green.

13. Remember that the goal of every Calgary driver is to get there first by whatever means necessary.

14. In the Calgary area, ‘flipping someone the bird’ is considered

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a polite Calgary salute. This gesture should always be returned.

15. At least four more cars should proceed on a left after the light turns red. If you fail to do so, you will be rear-ended.

17. If someone cuts you off you should return the gesture by speeding around them on the right, pulling in front of them and slamming on the brakes. This works even better when your car is of lesser value.

18. Never make eye contact with another driver when passing down Deerfoot. ‘Nuff said!

THANK YOU & HAVE A SAFE JOURNEY!

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• 45

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Help us give families a Christmas with Dignity The Christmas with Dignity (CWD) program is an annual campaign that raises money for families in need in Chestermere and area. Money raised through donations is placed in a fund that is provided to temporarily help families pay for their basic needs.

Although ‘Christmas’ is in the name and the majority of the funds are used during the holiday season, donations can be accessed at anytime throughout the year when families in the community need assistance.

How can you help?

Donate: We are accepting monetary donations at the Ches-

termere Municipal Building (105 Marina Road). Cheques can be made to the City of Chestermere. Tax receipts will be issued for donations of $20 and more.

Share Information: To ensure our neighbours are not experiencing hardships alone, we encourage residents in our community to share information about CWD funds. CWD funds are used to assist individuals and families with accessing food, shelter, and clothing supports. For more information, please contact the Community Resource Coordinator at (403) 207-7079.

Save The Date!

This year, Christmas with Dignity Celebration will be held on December 12th, 2015.

Bring your neighbourhood together with a Block Party!

Block Parties are just the kind of event that makes Chestermere a great place to live!

Block Parties are held throughout the summer in various neighbourhoods in Chestermere. They are afternoon or evening BBQs that bring neighbours together for fun, games, and a chance to get to know your neighbours better.

Everything you need to host the party!

Chestermere Community Services makes it easy to host a party for your neighbourhood by providing the following: • planning documents and an invitation template; • a children’s outdoor games and toys kit;

City of Chestermere | P: (403) 207-7050 www.chestermere.ca 46 •

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Leela

SHARON AHEER

MLA Chestermere - Rocky View

OUR MISSION STATEMENT: HOW CAN WE HELP? See Our Facebook Page For Updates

Have an upcoming event?

/ChestermereRockyView Phone: 403-207-9889 Fax: 403-216-2225 Chestermere.RockyView@assembly.ab.ca

CONSTITUENCY OFFICE: 215, 175 Chestermere Station Way, Chestermere, AB T1X 0G1

• disposable plates, cups, napkins and utensils (plates and napkins are compostable and cups may be recyclable, or encourage your neighbours to bring their own reusable, non-breakable plates, cups and cutlery); • an industrial-sized barbecue (propane tank not included); • gift certificate for food from M&M Meat Shops or Eric’s No Frills; • block party sandwich board (for signage the day of the event); and/or, • a visit from one or more members of the fire department, local RCMP, peace officers, and/or City Council (depending on availability).

The fine print you need to know: If you are borrowing the barbecue, you’ll also receive barbecue maintenance and cleaning instructions, and you’ll be asked to provide a credit card number or a $50 deposit cheque (made out to the City of Chestermere). In order for you to safely close the street, barricades will be dropped off by Public Works up to two days before your block party and picked up one to two days after your event.

Barricades may not be available when large community events are being held. One lane must be left open, in case emergency vehicles need access. Note that liquor can only be served and consumed on private property, and partygoers will be expected to follow the City’s noise bylaw, which prohibits excessive noise.

Ready to book your party?

To book a block party, or for more information, call Beth-Anna Van Dellen, the City of Chestermere’s Community Outreach Worker, at 403-207-7047, or email her at bvandellen@chestermere.ca.

UPCOMING EVENTS Please honour those who gave their lives for our freedom this Remembrance Day. Nov. 6: 11 AM Dedication of new Chestermere Cenotaph, by the beach Nov. 11: 10AM Remembrance Day Ceremony in Chestermere, at Cenotaph Call us! We’ll try to come!

Call and ask about our “Art Wall”.

While on a training swim about 100 metres off Ocean Beach near Whangarei on the North Island of New Zealand, lifeguard Rob Howes said he and three female lifeguards were surrounded by a pod of dolphins who were acting very strangely. The dolphins circled around the swimmers and began beating the water with their fins, causing the water to be a churning mass of dolphins and bobbing human heads. Howes managed to get outside the circle of dolphins, and that’s when he spotted a huge great white shark a short distance away. As the shark moved closer to the women in the water, the dolphins became even more agitated and “went into hyper drive.” The shark finally swam away when a rescue boat approached, but the dolphins did not leave the scene until all of the swimmers were safely back on dry land. www.oddee.com

Thank goodness there are no sharks in Chestermere Lake!

But too bad there are no dolphins!

STOPBULLY.com - Bully Awareness Year Round.

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A SHEEP STORY A shepherd is herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advances out of a dust cloud towards him.

The man, in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray-Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and says to the shepherd, “If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?”

The shepherd looks at the man, then turns to his peaceful, grazing flock and calmly answers, “Sure, why not?”

So the yuppie parks his car, whips out his IBM ThinkPad, connects it to his mobile phone, surfs the Internet and finds a NASA site. Then, using the web site, he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system and scans the area. Next he opens up a database and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas and, after a few minutes, he prints out a 150 page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized printer. Eventually he turns to the shepherd and says, “You have exactly 1,586 sheep.”

“That’s correct,” says the shepherd. “You can take one of the sheep.”

He watches as the young man selects one of the animals and bundles it into his car, then says, “Hold on a minute. If I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my sheep?”

“Sure, why not?” answers the young man.

“That’s easy,” says the shepherd. “You’re a consultant.”

“That’s spot on,” says the yuppie, clearly amazed. “But how did you guess that?”

“There was no guessing required,” answers the shepherd. “You turned up here, even though nobody called you. You expect to get paid to give me an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked, and you don’t even know a thing about my business. Now give me back my dog.”

By Stephanie Charette

GIFTS, TOYS, Party ..and a little bit of everything else!

CHESTERMERE WHITECAPPERS’ NEWS & HAPPENINGS WEEKLY ACTIVITIES: CARPET BOWLING - Mondays and

Wednesdays – 1:00pm. QUILTING - Thursdays 9:30am, everyone is welcome. Come share in making “Comfort Quilts.” The quilts are given to the RCMP & Victims Services FITNESS FOR SENIORS – Fridays, 11:00am, the focus is strength and balance. This is a drop-in class so come when you can. For further information, please contact Nancy Brazier, Fit2Age, 403-569-6612. TUESDAY AFTERNOON BRIDGE - 1.00pm. Everyone welcome. FRIDAY EVENING GAMES - 6:30pm - There will be euchre and many other games available. Contact Marilyn Conrad 403-248-1998 for further details. SATURDAY MORNING COFFEE - 10:00 – 11:30am - Come enjoy a visit, share a joke and have some laughs. MEMBERSHIP – To renew or obtain, please call 403-235-2117. Leave a message and your call will be returned. POOL - If there are members who are interested in playing pool - Thursdays at 2pm. Everyone is welcome - especially amateurs.

EVENTS: Thursday, Nov. 5 - LUNCH ‘N LEARN 50+ –

11:30am – 1:00pm - TOPIC: “Writing Your Memoirs”- Presented by: Sharon Christie, Alberta Health Services.

Location: Chestermere Whitecappers - Open to the Public! **Bring your lunch!

Coffee + dessert provided!** For more info., call Beth-Anna at 403-201-7047 Tuesday, Nov. 24 – POTLUCK SUPPER – 5:00pm – Bring a favorite main dish, salad or dessert. Enjoy an evening of fun n laughter. Wine & beer available for purchase.

Wednesday, Nov. 25 – ROSEBUD Theatre’s “A Wind in the Willows”, a Christmas play (afternoon matinee). This is a shared bus trip, so we need to know numbers as soon as possible. The cost is MEMBERS ONLY = $74; non-members = $94. Please sign up if you’re interested (@facility, phone or email) and make payment as soon as possible. For more info., please contact Audrey: audrey8@telus.net or 403-2729280 PICKLE-BALL – Held in the Rec. Centre Main Hall Tuesdays + Thursdays, 11:45am to 1:45pm - Pay only for the times you attend. For more info., contact Vicki recreation@chestermerecrca. com Whitecappers’ office hours: Tuesdays, 1:00pm (NEW!) -3:00pm Address: 201B West Chestermere Drive (South end of the Rec. Centre). Office phone # 403-235-2117 (if we aren’t there, please leave a message)

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www.facebook.com/ ChestermereGeneralStore Phone: 403-207-2006 Monday - Friday 9am-8pm Saturday 9:30am-6pm Sunday and holidays 10am-5pm

Independent business 209 - 175 Chestermere Station Way. Chestermere, AB Servicing Chestermere And Area Since 2007 48 •

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January 23 2016 Celebrating the flurry and fun of our Canadian Winter! Grab your flannel woollies and join the fun, eh?

Chestermere Winterfest is quickly approaching to participate in this year’s winterfest and for more information please visit: www.chestermere.ca/winterfest.

LIFE AS AN ALBERTAN 1. “Vacation” means going to Calgary for the weekend.

2. You measure distance in hours.

3. You often switch from “heat” to “A/C” in the same day.

4. You know several people who have hit deer with their vehicle more than once.

5. You use a down comforter in the summer.

Thought of the moment: There’s a beauty to forgiveness, especially forgiveness that goes beyond rationality.

Unconditional love is an illogical notion, but such a great and powerful one.

- A.J. Jacobs

6. Your grandparents drive at 100 km/h through four meters of snow during a blizzard without flinching.

7. You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them.

8. You design your kids Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

9. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled.

10. You know both seasons: Winter and construction.

11. You are bundled up in three sweaters, a parka, ski pants, a toque, two pairs of mittens, boots past your knees in 3 feet of snow in a -35 (-80 with the wind chill) blizzard, your eyelashes are frozen together, your nose is running, you can’t feel your toes, and you still stop at the gas station for a Slurpee on the way home.

12. You actually understand these jokes and will

share them to all your friends from Alberta.

CHESTERMERE, AB

175 CHESTERMERE STN WAY 403-235-0352

OVER A THOUSAND CONSIGNORS AND COUNTING! THANK YOU CHESTERMERE!!

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Unbeatable Prices, Unbeatable Selection RETAIL THERAPY WITHOUT THE GUILT! PLEASE DON’T DRINK & DRIVE!

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• 49

Monoga-Me?

Studies show that only around 3-5% of mammalian species are, in fact, monogamous - and most suggest that we, my friends, are not one of them.

Nicole is an avid writer with a background in marketing and communications. She has a passion for humanitarianism, sports, local consignment boutiques, home decor shops, coffee houses and lemons - oh, does she love lemons.

Nicole is a proud mother of one and a true believer in karma, fate and purpose. She is fascinated by human behavior and eastern religions and if you were to ask her what she wants to be when she grows up all she would say is, happy.

mones such as vasopressin, oxytocin (the ‘cuddle hormone’) and testosterone contribute greatly in the practice of both monogamy and polygamy. It appears that when the oxytocin and vasopressin levels are blocked in the brain, there is a decrease in partner preference which increases the person’s desire for multiple partners. Other factors such as [corporate] status and female dispersion may also come into play.

Could you substitute your, “I do’s” with, “we do’s”? Is monogamy an outdated, unattainable and society-driven ideal or is it really possible to completely commit yourself to just one person?

In a recent study, a group of men and women were asked to imagine their significant other with someone other than themselves.

The men showed more distress at the thoughtof their partner being physically intimate with another, whereas the women showed greater distress imagining their partner enjoying a deep emotional bond. This could definitely impact the success of a polygamous relationship.

Studies show that only around 3-5% of mammalian species are, in fact, monogamous - and most suggest that we, my friends, are not one of them. That’s not to say that the next human you fall in love with is going to hop between the sheets with 13 other humans while you’re out for a latte; it does mean, however, that love may not come to stay nearly as flawlessly as we have been taught to believe. In fact, some might argue that love isn’t even an emotion – that, perhaps, it is simply a chemical reaction in our brains that tricks us into feeling something for someone that, in other circumstances, we may not even like. For what purpose? Procreation.

Keep in mind, however, that there is a difference between being in an open relationship and being unfaithful. One is a consensual decision made by both parties, whereas the other will most likely lead to hurt and mistrust. It is fine line and it must be walked with caution.

Call me old fashioned or societally brainwashed, but personally I would have a hard time sharing my spouse. Humans are complex creatures with attachments and emotions so unless one is absolutely confident in the status of their relationship, a “monogom-ish” relationship could greatly affect our feelings of jealousy, trust and self-worth.

Which brings me to my next question: can you consciously choose who to love and how long you’re going to love them for? Do you believe one heart has the ability to love more than one body?

Whether monogamy, or the latter, is a force of biology, nurture or choice, we are only human and most every decision we make can be unmade. Ultimately, we are creatures of pleasure, procreation and survival with the right to decide who and how many people we want to love. At the end of the day, the choice is yours.

Over the years, scientists have repeatedly tested their theories on this topic, yet there doesn’t seem to be any definitive answers. What they have said though, is that fluctuation in hor-

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The Vancouver Islands

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For many years now, I have dreamed of Greece...

Oh, turquoise waters, ancient runes, temples, Rome , the Parthenon, then Santorini, Mykonos, Corfu, Rhodes, Paros, Zakynthos and I could go on and on… but I am afraid these most wondrous, mystical and most incredible places in the world may have to wait until my next life. Darn it all, and I’m a cup-half-full optimistic person (most days), but, you see, we just bought a place in Arizona last year – it was a tough decision, it meant I probably would never make my adventure to those enchanting Greek Islands.

So instead of feeling sorry for myself, I’m going to be realistic and tell you about one of the most beautiful places in this world CANADA. With the way the Canadian dollar is going, if you are planning a trip this year, you may want to consider the West coast.

The Vancouver Islands are probably the best place to have good, clean, wholesome fun. And by islands, I mean not only the Central Island, but also the little islands that surround it.

Some of them are inhabited, while others are too small to sustain anything but a little bit of vegetation. The great thing about the Vancouver Islands is that they are in a state of beautifully organized natural chaos; there are safe paths that take you to see nature at its best, everywhere. However, if I were to choose the top five places you should not miss when visiting the Vancouver Islands, I would say the number one choice would be the “Wild Pacific Trail”, it is located in Ucluelet and consists of seven hiking trails that guide you along the cliffs and shore line of the West Coast. From it, you have vantage points where you can see Barkley Sound, the Broken Group Islands to the east, and the might of the Pacific Ocean to the south and West. The trail takes one through some of the most beautiful and ancient cedar and spruce forests anywhere.

There is also incredible Chesterman Beach, very close to Tofino, so there are a lot of beautiful Bed & Breakfasts in the area and Chesterman is one of the most beautiful, wild beaches you could hope to find. It is perfect for adults who enjoy walking along the beach water and there are surfers out almost all of the time.

Please don’t miss Butchart Gardens, located on Vancouver Island, 23 km (14 mi) north of Victoria and 20 km (12.5 mi) south of the Swartz Bay ferry terminal. It is a collection of themed botanical gardens where you can explore not only the beauty of over one million plants but you can also relish the cultural beauty of some of history’s greatest gardeners. So you can enjoy the Italian Gardens that are symbolic of all European types of gardens, there are also the Rose Gardens and the Japanese Gardens.

Last but not least, the Pacific Rim National Park is situated between the city of Tofino and Ucluelet. It consists of the road from one city to another that winds its way along the coast through rainforests and along the beaches; the Broken Group islands and the West Coast Trail. Because these are all so beautiful, you should take the time and allow for at least one day visiting each one.

A few years back, we took our three youngest children to the West Cost and had the time of our lives. You do not need to travel abroad to experience some of the most beautiful views in this big wide world.

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That’s not the case with an enzyme peel or an enzyme exfoliator! In fact, enzyme peels just might be the perfect skin care treatment with minimal redness.

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sure you are treated by someone who is qualified to perform this service in a safe and clean environment. Fall and winter are the ideal time to start doing enzyme peels because we spend less time in the sun. These magical services can also be purchased in packages and done every 3-4 weeks for a period of time. Inquire at your favourite spa to see what they offer for an Enzyme Peel!

Do not have an Enzyme Peel if you have sunburned skin, inflamed skin, open wounds, or are taking or using any Retin-A, Retinol, alphahydroxy acid or salicylic acid products and always check with your doctor first if you are pregnant.

What are Enzymes?

Enzymes are microorganisms, or little tiny accelerators, derived of natural sources like fruit. They accelerate the skin’s renewal process by getting rid of old dead cells and allowing the newer, plump cells to show through. And men? These treatments aren’t just for the ladies. You deserve smooth skin too!

What are the advantages of an Enzyme Peel?

• No recovery time, as you would find from a chemical peel • Can be enjoyed more often that a chemical peel • Amazing skin results in one treatment • Costs less than some medical skin care treatments

What are the skin benefits of an Enzyme Peel?

• Brightens skin • Improves skin tone and texture • Cleanses pores • Diminishes mild scars • Softens fine lines

Who can enjoy an Enzyme Peel?

• All skin types, including sensitive skin types benefit from this service • Enzyme Peels aren’t recommended for anyone under the age of 18, as their skin isn’t fully matured.

Enzyme peels are considered an entry level peel and are a perfect little skin treatment. They are suitable for everyone, but make

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Call today for a free Consultation 403-901-0440

T

Ask the Denturist...

he professionals at Wheatland Denture Centre know the best way to get a true fit when it comes to your dentures.

High-end precision dentures are the best way to get the perfect fit, most natural look and the finest functionality for your everyday needs, and Strathmore’s Wheatland Denture Centre wants to visit with you today.

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that cannot be done with standard dentures.

“I find people need less adjusting with precision dentures,” Jenelle says, “which means less appointments and saves people time.”

But what is so different about precision and standard dentures?

Jenelle says that in addition to a superior fit, look and functionality, precision dentures also boast a higher-end, stronger tooth, which equates to less wear than standard dentures and greater longevity.

Wheatland Denture Centre’s denture specialist Jenelle Dufault, DD says it all starts with the advanced instrumentation used throughout the denture making process, which enables them to get a precise fit and even simulate each individual’s jaw movements – something

To get the most out of how your dentures work for you, it’s all about being as precise as possible. So head in to Wheatland Denture Centre, located at 115 2nd Ave. in Strathmore, or call 403-901-0440 and book your appointment today.

You have all heard me preach over the year in one article or another about the fabulous benefits of antioxidant foods and my book “I AM A… FRUITS AND

VEGETABLES” (it is all about the best foods, along with the best recipes to eat these foods. Find it on our website: www.thenewsyneighbour.com). All healthy

stuff! Eating properly is one of the most important steps you can take to prevent heart disease, cancer, Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s disease – eat plenty of antioxidant-rich foods. Antioxidants protect your health by preventing and repairing damage caused to your cells by excessive free radicals.

Antioxidants are plentiful in plant foods, particularly those that have bright colours. This report was published as the most comprehensive study of the antioxidant content of common foods in the Journal of Agricultural and Food Chemistry. According to this study, the 20 most antioxidant-rich foods are as follows: Small red beans, dried, Wild blueberries, Red kidney beans, dried, Pinto beans, Blueberries, cultivated, Cranberries, Artichoke hearts, cooked, Blackberries, Dried prunes, Raspberries Strawberries, Red delicious apple, Granny Smith apple, Pecans, Sweet cherries, Black plum, Russet potato, cooked, Black beans, Plum, Gala apple.

The highest ranked foods in four major categories are as follows: Fruits: blueberries, cranberries, and blackberries. Vegetables: beans, artichoke hearts, and surprisingly, russet potatoes. Nuts: pecans, walnuts, and hazelnuts. Spices: cinnamon, oregano, and ground cloves.

Here are a few points to keep in mind when choosing antioxidant-rich foods: Because there are many different types of antioxidants that can protect your tissues from different types of damage, it is best to eat a wide range of antioxidant-rich foods. One of the best ways of making sure that you are getting plenty of antioxidants in your diet is to strive Treat: • Age Spots • Psoriasis •Broken to eat lots of fresh vegetables. I know this is a very big challenge and • Acne Capillaries • Scars & Wounds that is why I bought my juicer, I juice just about every single day – • Eye Bags • Wrinkles • Dark Circles though lately I have cut back to every second day and have oatmeal • Anti-aging • Fine Lines • Alopecia on the days I do not juice because I was not getting enough fibre in • Sun Damage • Rosacea • Eczema my diet. Fibre is just as important as the antioxidants you find in your fruits and vegetables. But, that is another article altogether!

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Be fabulous today and choose to make the decision to eat (or drink) your antioxidant super foods TODAY! Kathryn Hartwell References: Dr. Ben Kim’s newsletter @ info@drbenkim.com

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Lomenda Energy

Carla is a wife, a mother and an agent for happiness. As a Senior Life Strategist and Certified Professional Co-Active Coach, Carla helps people get amazing results while having fun and deepening their relationships. Carla founded Lomenda Energy Inc. in 2010 to create community, life balance and wellness for professionals and organizations. Connect with Carla by phone 403861-4810, by email carla@lomendaenergy.com and on twitter @LomendaEnergy

Are you ready to live a happier life? Are you ready for more happiness in all that you do?

Do you have a vision or a feeling inside of more peace of mind?

Happiness is defined by you and only you. Your definition of happiness may be exactly the same as your definition of success.

Many professionals wonder how to create their own definition of happiness and not only create it but step into living it.

Start with answering these questions: what makes you tick?

What do you find yourself doing when you are really happy?

What about that experience brings happiness to you?

Journal on these questions or work through them with someone.

Answer them several times until you unearth that a-ha moment.

That moment is when you have found the elements of your happiness definition.

So you’ve found your definition of happiness, now what? Now ask yourself, where can my happiness definition fit into my day (or week or even in each moment)? How can I create my day so that my happiness definition is fulfilled? Can you start by bringing elements of your definition into parts of your day? Start simple. Start small. Your results will astound you.

Keep your happiness definition close to you, as if you already are living out each element of it. You were born to be happy so just let it be.

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It seems that liver is the highest source in nature of bioavailable vitamin A. Contrary to popular belief, we must consume vitamin A from animal sources like liver. The “vitamin A” in vegetables like carrots is carotene, and this must be converted to retinol in our body before we can use it. This conversion rate is extremely poor and virtually insignificant for children and people with health issues including thyroid disorders (source). Because the vitamin A in liver is already retinol, the body can use it.

The high vitamin A content can help repair severe hormonal damage. In particular, it supports thyroid deficiencies so liver is a must for anyone who is hypothyroid. Vitamin A also plays a key role in liver health and detox. Traditional cultures considered liver a sacred food and put great stock in its revitalizing properties. In particular, liver was used to promote fertility. It should be consumed on a regular basis by couples trying to conceive. Liver contains an unidentified “anti-fatigue factor.” In a famous animal study, liver consumption prevented rats from exhaustion, even after swimming for two straight hours. A 2-3 ounce serving of liver should be consumed at least 1-2 times per week.

Just like every other single vitamin in the world, you can take it as a pill – yahoo. Thinking back, I’m sure my grandmother used to take her daily Liver Pill.

The best part is that you can make your own liver pills – yes you can! And it is easy peasy. Always use grass-fed/pastured liver, thawed (if frozen). Use only the highest quality

Carla - 403.861.4810

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One of my very least favourite foods in the whole world would have to be LIVER. Just the smell and the texture just turn me off. But I have recently found out we all should be eating this nasty organ!

The good news is you don’t actually have to necessarily eat liver!

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“I often tell people that taking my daily liver pills made the

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231 2nd Avenue, Strathmore 231-2nd Avenue, Strathmore liver. Rinse the liver and pat dry. With a sharp knife, carefully cut the liver into pill-sized chunks. Place the pieces, separated, on a parchment-lined cookie sheet. Freeze until solid. Transfer the frozen “liver pills” into an airtight container and store in the freezer.

Freeze for 14 days before eating to kill any pathogens in the liver.

Swallow a couple of frozen “liver pills” with every meal.

Kelly from primallyinspired.com says “Wow, what a difference those liver pills make! I attribute taking those raw liver pills to healing my hormone issues, evening out my moods and boosting my athletic performance. They give me energy like I never had before. And I have zero PMS. It’s crazy! I often tell people that taking my daily liver pills made the most dramatic difference in my health to date.”

And here are just a few testimonials from her site: “I finally have a sex life again! I’m in my mid-60’s and never thought that would happen. This has changed my life.”

“I couldn’t do anything to get my hair to grow and now my hair and nails are growing like crazy. It’s helped my acne, too.”

“I have anemia and raw liver has been a life saver for me.”

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“I can’t believe it! My thyroid numbers are getting better and better at every doctor appointment!!! If this continues, I’ll be able to get off my thyroid medication in the near future!

“I definitely notice a difference in energy and notice when I forget to take them.”

“I can’t believe the difference. I have my mom taking them now.”

“My libido is back! My husband is sold on these and won’t let me go a day without them.”

“My moods are noticeably better, even my husband and kids have noticed a difference in me. I’ve been sleeping better, too.”

I’m willing to give it a try! Why not?! We are lucky enough here in Strathmore to have our own local meat market where I’m sure to find grass-fed/pastured liver.

To your health and mine!

Kathryn Hartwell

References: whfoods and primallyinspired.com

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Would you like your business Profiled?

Contact Denise Geremia at 403-608-0686 or denise@thenewsyneighbour.com

We’ll make you smile at

BUSINESS PROFILE

Since beginning her practice in Strathmore, Katie Kiemeny R.N., DCH has been seeing a concentrated group of individuals. Namely, parents seeking help for their children with Autism Spectrum Disorder. Moms and Dads are claiming that they are seeing positive changes in their children with a diagnosis on the spectrum.

Please call 403-934-9681 to schedule your appointment

Autism Spectrum Disorder is becoming a more frequent part of today’s society. Parents are seeking homeopathy and seeing progress with treatment. Kiemeny shares, “The Centres for Disease Control and Prevention estimates that 1 in 68 children are now being identified with autism spectrum disorder. This is 30 percent higher then the previous report of 2012.” Autism is a spectrum disease, which indicates it is an umbrella diagnosis for a specific pattern of symptoms, she says. Unfortunately, there have been few answers to curing Autism; there is government programming that support early development and behavioural screening and they are working towards an answer. Until then, can homeopathy help?

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Kiemeny tells us that homeopathy looks at patterns and symptoms of disease in the individual person. Kiemeny uses homeopathy, and facilitates environmental detoxification through different means, such as diet modification, to support children on the Autism Spec-

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As individual as you!

Homeopathy is an age-old medicine, used around the world still today. It is a complete system of medicine, which means that it does not use herbs, supplements, or many other naturopathic means to support patients. This makes homeopathy an affordable, inexpensive alternative. Homeopathy is a pure system, which employs medicines made in a regulated manor primarily from animal, mineral and plant substances. It is non-toxic which makes it ideal for pregnant and nursing moms as well as infants, and children. The medicines can be used in conjunction with conventional medicine, so it serves a place in autoimmune and chronic illnesses. The homeopathic pellet has proved its effectiveness through epidemic disease for over 200 years. It was used in outbreaks of leprosy and malaria in recent years with profound efficacy.

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trum. “My goal is to serve my community and the future of us, by helping the children.”

Katie Kiemeny is a conventionally trained Registered Nurse. After nursing for 12 years, she returned to Homeopathic Medical School, which took her to the United States, and overseas to India. As she pursued a dramatic shift in her career, she was able to attain status from the Alberta Registered Nurses Association as a Self Employed Nurse. She states, “As I entered this paradigm of change from conventional nursing to homeopathy, I began to learn to approach and assess disease in a more focused and individual way. Remedies are tailored to each patient very specifically.

No one person is alike in how they express disease.”

Katie Kiemeny of Kailo Homeopathy opened her Alternative Health Care practice in Strathmore in July 2014. She currently operates out of Studio 86 Tanning, where she has clinic space and a small venue of homeopathic products including travel kits, probiotics and vitamins. Clients can book appointments by calling Studio 86. Each patient is evaluated on an individual basis, which allows for optimal care. Symptoms are assessed and recorded through a lengthy intake process. Each patient’s personal symptoms are paired with a homeopathic remedy in their likeness. Kiemeny offers comprehensive seminars on all kinds of interesting topics, such as Homeopathy for Fever & Flu.

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Alberta’s Homeopathic community is growing. The Alberta Homeopathic Associated was founded in 2015. Kiemeny is positive that with Ontario’s recent establishment of the Homeopathic Legislation and Alberta framework in the making, that soon we Albertans can expect medical coverage for homeopathy in the near future. Kiemeny shares the need for homeopathy to be regulated as a profession to guarantee safe, effective care for the public. “It was not too long ago that midwifery faced the same shift in this province, and now midwives are busting at the seams. My hopes are for the birth of homeopathy in Alberta to be regulated and recognized very soon!”

Kiemeny’s Strathmore practice is not the only way she is involved with the Autism Community; she looks forward to being a supportive part of “Thinking Moms Revolution,” a group of healthcare professionals and parents who believe that ASD can be helped.

She also continues to train with world leaders in homeopathy and autism, John Melnychuk co-author of “The Impossible Cure.” As well, with her colleagues in Calgary and India.

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Chronic and acute appointments available.

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Homeopathy for Flu & Fever

Tuesday, Nov.3 @ 6:30 pm Studio 86 Tanning Strathmore Cost: $25 Seminar covers topics of Health, Infection, and Homeopathy. Come join our learning as we find out what it takes to have optimal immunity!

WWW.KAILOHOMEOPATHY.COM facebook.com/TheNewsyNeighbour

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Natural Choices

Cynthia Barnesky is a Holistic Practitioner/Certified Professional Spiritual Life Coach and owner of SunRise Healing Center: Specializes in helping you with the natural ways of healing through her services of Inner Clarity Spiritual Life Coaching, Intuitive Massage, Reflexology, IonCleanse Detox Foot Bath, Intuitive Readings, Reconnective Healing, and many natural healing products. For more information visit her website: www.sunrisehealingcenter.com or give her a call: 403-934-6416.

Holiday Stress 101 Part 1 What we want to experience around the holidays is family and friends getting together laughing, talking, and having fun with one another, but this is not what usually happens.

People are too often worried about so many different things around the holidays; what to buy as gifts, how much to spend, what to wear, whether you will have enough time for everything, planning Christmas dinner or parties, etc. If you are doing some traveling around this holiday season, people worry about what to pack, booking hotels, board or take the pets, do I wrap the gifts now or later? Your mind is full of questions and the body becomes more and more tense and to top it all off, you are adding this stress to your usual busy life.

We know how all this stress makes us feel but do you know what it does to the body? Over the next two months we will be looking at this from all angles and we’ll get to know how the body reacts to good and bad stress. Yes, we all experience good stress! And we are going to be learning how to manage stress and relax the body.

The dictionary’s definition of stress is: “A mental, physical and emotional tension that disturbs the equilibrium (balance) of the bodies.” Stress is a normal emergency response when our bodies automatically react to a difficult situation. Adrenaline raises your heart beat and the cortisol boosts your sugar to send energy to the muscles that need to respond right away. This is when normal physical reaction jumps into play and we like to call it “fight or flight” response.

This response should only be short term, and then our bodies will automatically start reversing the stress reaction. As we stop producing high levels of cortisol, the heart rate starts to drop, breathing becomes a lot slower and the blood gets reverted to all the systems, becoming balanced. Relief and relaxation set in.

What triggers anxiety is different for everyone, but it is basically any kind of situation that your body reacts to.

We all need to feel good stress in order for us to know joy; it is necessary for our body and is very healthy. Without good stresses, we would have a hard time getting out of bed in the morning. The feeling that comes with opening presents on Christmas morning or seeing an old friend – our bodies produce chemicals called endorphins, serotonin and dopamine that make us feel happy; this is known as, “The Happy Drug”. This is also what happens when you get a massage, Raindrop therapy massage, self-massage, work out, play sports (increases if you win), go for a walk, play a card game, watch a comedy and so on. These are positive healing stresses that are good for the body and are

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critical to feeling motivated, engaged, and interested in our daily lives.

On the other end of the spectrum, if ‘bad stress’ is a factor in your life for a long period of time, there are three sequences that the body goes through: (1) the initial fight-or flight response, (2) a slower resistance reaction, and eventually (3) exhaustion.

When the body goes through these sequences over and over again, disease can form. These consequences are why it is so important that we choose to reduce anxiety as much as we can.

This bad stress does not go away easily. The body over-reacts to everyday demands and does not relax mentally, physically, and emotionally. The body stays in “high gear”. You will notice your heart beat is remaining fast, breathing rate increases, you are sweating more, your muscles stay tense, and on the inside, various chemicals are over producing. You may also notice that you are more negative, get angry faster, and get upset easier.

We react to situations in a negative way and we actually feel “distress”. A lot of us have everyday lives with this kind of stress!

Whenever you are in a situation that keeps your body in “The Fight or Flight” stage, you are always going to experience the reactions we discussed above. Increased heart rate, blood vessels dilate and with a decrease in metabolism, extra glucose surges into your blood steam to give you extra fuel… another chemical is now being produced called cortisol. This chemical has been recently identified as one of major causes of excess weight around the belly area, which can have an impact on heart disease, can destroy brain cells, it can stop the production of sex hormones, it can decrease immune functions, increase blood pressure, cause chronic pain (headaches, migraines, peptic ulcers, over all body pain), sleep disorders, anxiety attaches, depression, sleep problems, mood swings, colds and flus, alcoholism, psychological distress, eating disorders, and smoking-related respiratory ailments, and so much more. Medical research estimates that 40-80% of all doctor visits are directly related to stress and that there is a direct link between disease and stress.

My question to you is: “What kind of illness or conditions do you have that can be related to stress in your life and what are you going to do about it?”

Part 2: Holiday Stress 101 – In December I will be providing tips on how to manage stress and to relax the whole body in order to have the best holiday season ever!

References to: http://successfulaging.ca/programs/stress.html

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Altogether Different

FUNERAL DIRECTOR A mild-mannered man was tired of being bossed around by his wife, so he went to a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist said he needed to build his self-esteem, and gave him a book on assertiveness, which he read on the way home. He had finished the book by the time he reached his house.

THOUGHT OF THE DAY

“Your value does not decrease based on someon’e inability to see your worth” ~Unknown

Listening Skills

A woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, “If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes.” The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, “Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes.”

The man stormed into the house and walked up to his wife. Pointing a finger in her face, he said, “From now on, I want you to know that I am the man of this house, and my word is law! I want you to prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I’m finished eating my meal, I expect a sumptuous dessert afterward. Then, after dinner, you’re going to draw me my bath so I can relax. And, when I’m finished with my bath, guess who’s going to dress me and comb my hair?”

“My guess would be the funeral director,” said his wife.

The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife!!!

Moral of the story: Women are not as smart as men, but think they’re really smart. Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show.

PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this, it only goes to show that women never listen!!!

“Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!” The woman said, “That’s okay.” For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, “You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to”. The woman replied, “That’s okay, because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will have eyes only for me.” So, KAZAM - she’s the most beautiful woman in the world! For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.

The frog said, “That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you.” The woman said, “That’s okay, because what’s mine is his and what’s his is mine.” So, KAZAM - she’s the richest woman in the world! The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, “I’d like a mild heart attack.”

Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don’t mess with them.

Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.

Male readers: keep reading...

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How to avoid the 5 mistakes small landlords commonly make Whether you’re looking to make a little extra money, or are just waiting for the market to turn around before you sell, there are benefits to renting additional property you own. While being a landlord has its perks, there is some risk involved. If you’re renting your property, or are thinking about doing so, there are some things you can do to make sure you protect yourself.

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Rental History Reports provides tenant screening and other resources to small landlords looking for ways to protect their investments. The company offers the following advice on how to avoid five common mistakes landlords make: 1. Not screening your tenants Failing to run a tenant background check is perhaps the biggest mistake you can make as a small landlord, as it will help you avoid numerous other mistakes. Screening tenants is easy and affordable, and you can choose packages that best suit your situation.

When you use a tenant screening service, you should be able to find out if your prospective tenant has a criminal record, previous evictions or any other red flags that might hamper their ability to pay their rent.

2. Eschewing paper work In the legal world, if it’s not on paper, it might as well have never happened. No matter how much you might trust a potential tenant, making them sign a lease is absolutely necessary. If you’re unsure about the type of language you should include in the lease, you may want to consult with a legal service that can help you.

3. Staying far away from the property You might think you’re intruding on your renters if you visit often, but good renters will be happy you care about your property. If you’re keeping the place nice, your renters will be happy to see you. And if your renters don’t welcome your visits, you may have reason to be concerned.

4. Unknowingly violating the Fair Housing Act While it’s important that you protect yourself by learning about prospective tenants’ legal status and rental history, there are certain things that you can’t ask. Familiarize yourself with the Fair Housing Act to learn what types of questions to avoid. For starters, questions about race, ethnicity, religion, sexual orientation and family situation are off limits. Asking such questions could open yourself to legal action if you turn down the person’s request to rent your property.

5. Ignoring important repairs When you’re renting out your home, it’s tougher to notice things that need to be fixed when you’re not living there. Establish with your prospective tenants that you want to be made aware of any issues so you can fix them promptly. It’s also important to make sure fire alarms, locks and other important items that make a home safe are working properly before you turn the keys over to your tenants - you could be held legally responsible if they aren’t.

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HOMEMADE

of my most favourite treats in the world would have to be “Toffee,” although I never eat it anymore because as we all know it will put out the fillings in your teeth! But, the most glorious thing happened – I actually found a recipe where you will not have that problem and it is just so wonderfully fabulous you have to hide it from yourself because you cannot stop eating it! It is unbelievably easy, no-fuss, homemade toffee recipe.

All you need is:

1 cup raw almonds 1 cup unsalted butter, cubed 1 cup sugar 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract 1/4 teaspoon salt 1 1/2 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips 1 cup pecans

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constantly, until butter has melted and mixture is almond brown in colour, about 10-15 minutes, or until your arms feel like they are going to fall off! Immediately spread the hot caramel mixture evenly over the almonds. Sprinkle with chocolate chips.

After 1-2 minutes, spread the chocolate chips in an even layer until smooth. Let cool completely, about 2 hours, then break into pieces.

I used a knife to cut my toffee into uniform shapes and immediately bagged it for my Christmas gift giving. I knew if I did not bag and freeze them, there would be none left to share (trust me)! It is sweet but also healthy at the same time (with all those almonds and pecans, how it cannot be healthy??!!).

Preheat oven to 350°F. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper or a silicone baking mat. Spread almonds in an even layer on the prepared baking sheet. Place into oven and bake until toasted, about 10 minutes; set aside. I used almonds and pecans because I love them both. In a medium saucepan, combine butter, sugar vanilla and salt over medium heat. Cook, whisking

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Did you know that in addition to healthy fats and vitamin E, a quarter-cup of almonds contains 62 mg of magnesium plus 162 mg of potassium? When there is enough magnesium around, veins and arteries breathe a sigh of relief and relax, which lessens resistance and improves the flow of blood, oxygen and nutrients throughout the body. Studies show that a deficiency of magnesium is not only associated with heart attack but that immediately following a heart attack, lack of sufficient magnesium promotes free radical injury to the heart and potassium, an important electrolyte involved in nerve transmission and the The Newsy Neighbour Magazine

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contraction of all muscles including the heart, is another mineral that is essential for maintaining normal blood pressure and heart function. Almonds promote your cardiovascular health by providing 162 mg of potassium and only 0.2 mg of sodium, making almonds an especially good choice to in protecting against high blood pressure and atherosclerosis.

So there you have it – “toffee that is actually healthy for you! Isn’t life wonderful?!

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Information on Almonds found on whfoods site.

Toffee recipe found on Pinterest.

PLEASE DON’T DRINK & DRIVE!

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Emily Hogan is an interior designer from new and local design company Blyss Interiors. Her strong experience in the window covering industry has inspired her to offer those services to Strathmore and area as well as her savvy & stylish design style. If you have any questions for her call her at 403-901-4467 or email to info@blyssinteriors.ca. She would be happy to hear from you!

Living room This is the second most important space in the home; we spend a lot of time here and, at times, it needs to function for alternative uses as well. The living space is also usually the first space you enter so both for your own comfort and for potential viewers, this room needs to feel comfortable, usable and special.

The first major change in this area would be flooring; if you have a few different styles of your floor transitioning from room to room, a continuous flow of one application throughout will enhance overall size of space, as well as create better flow between rooms, creating a more open concept feel. In this area, there should also be a focal point (usually built-ins and/or a fireplace). This space anchors the room and determines the best use of the space with furniture lay out. Adding impact to this area with either the addition of built-ins, a bold tile framing the fireplace and/or a dramatic feature wall colour is a great way to echo your style throughout the rest of the space and create a memorable feature.

Best projects to add value to your home As we live in a home, we notice how the space could function better with our needs, we notice certain applications starting to become outdated and finishes started to wear. When approaching these issues, it is always a struggle to consider which one to precede with first, how to go about it and what is going to add the most value to your home for resell value, when ready. There are keys area that are the best to invest your hard-earned money into that would allow your home to stand above the rest when you choose to list.

Kitchen The kitchen is the heart of the home and the most important room in house. This is a make-or-break when it comes to selling your home and the potential of a home can be easily overlooked when there are buying deterrents in this area. Investing in the finishes of your kitchen is a must, providing its overall style identity and sustainability of the kitchen. Buyers like unique touches that create an impression when making a purchasing decision.

An effective way to do this is counters and back splash. Granite is not always the go-to anymore either; anything other than a laminate is a plus, for example quartz or butcher block. However, if replacing counters is out of budget, an upgraded backsplash has amazing impact at a fraction of the cost, switching cabinet hardware and under mount lighting adds an instant update and upgrade to your kitchen.

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Master Suite The master suite is the cherry on top of a functional and beautiful home. It is where you get to rest your head at the end of the day and where you get to relax on the weekends. This space should be cozy, lush and inviting. This also extends to the ensuite bathroom; this would be a great example of the applications mentioned above to be applied in this area for value added updates. As well as, not unlike the living room, your master suite needs a focal point, which is usually the head board wall that can be dramatized with wallpaper, murals, fabric or simply a bold colour. The master suite is all about layers, drapery, bedding, area rugs, pillows, and throws. The goal is to not overcrowd the space with large items of furniture; we want the best flow of space centered around the bed.

Whether the plan is to sell in the near future or simple invest in your property for yourself, these additions are sure ways to create large impact and change, enhance overall potential and flow of the space and an even better way to put your own stamp on your home.

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Things You Can and Can’t Put Down Your Garbage Disposal

CAN

Citrus rinds, coffee grounds; although there are mixed answers, the general consensus is small amounts of coffee grounds are ok to put down your drain. Egg shells, cooked meat scraps, small bones, fruit scraps, most vegetable scraps; there are a few that are too fibrous and therefore might be hard on your disposal, which we listed next.

/

CAN’ T

Fruit pits, large bones, shrimp shells, banana peels, nuts, grease, corn husks, onion skins, artichokes, potato peels, asparagus, pasta, rice.

Really, DO NOT!

Cigarette butts, shells: just like shrimp Shells, broken glass.

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When was the last time you just sat and built a card house?

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You can go two ways with this one, you can add another triangle and top it with one card laying on top, or you can lean 2 more cards on the open sides of the triangle.

Step 3: Finish it.

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Now just make one more triangle on top of the other two. This may be tricky because the cards constantly slip up and knock it over, then u gotta start all over again...and who wants that?

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A man and woman were driving down the same road toward each other. They pass each outer.

The woman yells out the window, “PIG!” The man yells out window, “JERK!” The man rounds next curve.... ...and crashes into tree while avoiding a huge pig in middle of road.

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Because a Great Experience Begins with a Great Agent. TM

As your real estate agent, I am committed to providing you with the best possible real estate experience. I will offer you an exceptional level of service and knowledge, whatever your real estate needs.

www.carolwarawa.ca E: cwarawa@cirrealty.ca

Carol Warawa, C.C.S, SRES REALTOR R

C: 403-585-5270 B: 403-291-4440 F: 403-366-6708

Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities!

Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers, you cannot be successful or happy.

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• 67

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“My God!” howled Mrs. Jones as she was stuck again with the pin.

“Right again!” bellowed the minister, a slight grin on his face.

DOZING IN CHURCH A man goes up to the minister at the local church. “Reverend,” he said. “We have a problem. My wife keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It’s very embarrassing, not to mention disrespectful. What should I do?”

“I’ve noticed this and have an idea if you’re up to the task,” said the minister. “Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mrs. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times.

When I motion, you give her a good poke in the leg.”

In church the following Sunday, Mrs. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. “And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?” he said, nodding to Mr. Jones.

“Jesus!” Mrs. Jones cried out as her husband jabbed her in the leg with the sharp object.

“Yes! You are correct, Mrs. Jones!” came the minister’s quick reply.

Before long, Mrs. Jones again winked off. However, this time the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few hand gestures that Mr. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet his wife with the hatpin yet again.

The minister asked, “And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?”

As Mr. Jones enthusiastically poked his wife’s thigh with the hatpin piercing her skin she screamed, “You stick that freaking thing in me one more time and I’ll break it in half!”

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• Fall Clean-ups • Grass Fertilizing, Seeding & Overseeding • Snow Clearing • Grass & Edge Trimming • Spring Clean-ups • Commercial, Residential & Condos

Soon, Mrs. Jones nodded off again. And again, the minister noticed.

“Who is your redeemer?” he asked the congregation, motioning toward Mr. Jones.

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HAIL DAMAGE?

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THE WHOLE TRUTH During a trial a small Missouri town, the local prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand. She was sworn in, asked if she would tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help her God. The witness was a proper well-dressed elderly lady, the Grandmother type, well spoken and poised.

The prosecuting attorney approached the woman and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?'"

She responded, "Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me.

"You lie, cheat on your wife, manipulate people and talk badly about them behind their backs. You think you're a rising big shot when you haven't the sense to realize you never will amount to

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ROOFING • RENOVATIONS

5” Continuous Eavestrough anything more than a two-bit paper-pushing shyster.

"Yes, I know you quite well."

The lawyer was stunned. He couldn't even think for a few minutes. Then he slowly backed away, fearing the looks on the judge and jurors' faces, not to mention the court reporter who documented every word. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"

She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and has a bad drinking problem. The man can't build or keep a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state, not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. Yes, I know him."

The defense attorney almost fainted and was seen slipping downward in his chair, looking at the floor. Laughter, mixed with gasps, thundered throughout the courtroom and the audience was on the verge of chaos.

At this point, the judge brought the courtroom to silence, called both counselors to the bench, and in a very quiet voice said, "If either of you morons asks her if she knows me, you're going to jail."

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• 69

ea Y + Years + 0 3 30*& .**55;;//&&33 rs

&## *& . inniinngg % %&#A#wardd W Winn AwarServviiccee Ser

Based on Based on Calgary Calgary market share. market share.

Debbie Mitzner, AgfefS`V[`Y [` ZWd ÀW^V t t t t t t t t t t debmitzner@gmail.com debmitzner@gmail.com

www.debbiemitzner.com

The Newsy Neighbour

BULLETIN BOARD 403.830.0949

30+ Yea

trilogyhomes.ca

rs

Debbie Mitzner,

ZNER IE MIT DEBB ard Winning Aw

Based on Calgary market share.

e Servic

agfefS`V[`Y [` ZWd ÀW^V #102, 279 Midpark Way SE Calgary, Alberta T2X 1M2

t t t t t d.mitzner@shaw.ca

debbiemitzner.com

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Carey Rose Debbie Enslen Hayley Poirier

Premier communities Unparalleled homes Build with Luxuria Homes and see the difference

Now Representing ...

Accessible Luxury In Strathmore

HOW

THE

INVEST IN

Remax Brand #1

Portion of every sale goes to Children's Miracle Network and The Alberta Children's Hospital

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At Every STEP...

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