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April

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2026

@TheMontage TheMeramecMontageNewspaper

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Volume 1 Issue 1

Mole humans found in tunnels below campus, begin to assimilate BRINN SMITH NEWS EDITOR

PHOTO AND GRAPHIC BY LILLY BURRUS

D

uring the renovation of the Communications North building in January of 2026, tunnels carved out in the 1940s during the later part of WWII were discovered, along with a secret civilization that had been living there for decades. The homo talpidae, affectionately called the mole humans or mole people, have been living underneath in secret, never making contact or giving our society any indication of their existence before this year. Since their discovery this year, the mole humans have slowly started to integrate into surface world life, they’ve started taking classes at the surface world schools, joined those schools’ clubs, and gotten jobs at surface companies.

“It’s been a big change for my family and I,” Meramec mole student Moliver Krate said. “When we came up here, we weren’t sure how well we’d be accepted, GRAPHIC BY GRETA MCGLAWN

or even how well we’d be able to find jobs up here. Thank the gods we were already able to speak your language, or else it could’ve been much worse.”

When the US was in WWII, the tunnels were used for storage, leading to the mole people civilization to find STLCC textbooks.

“It was a little odd at first, we didn’t have schools like the ones you do up here, so it was harder to get others interested,” said Meramec Professor of Subterranean History Dr. Molgatha Redwood. “Once we were able to get the first institute up and running, it made for a much smoother time growing our education system.”

Dr. Redwood was able to receive her doctorate from a St. Louis college after proving her knowledge in a wide variety of subjects. She is also part of a team that allows for humans and mole humans to do cultural exchanges, and

she also helps mole humans get on their feet in the surface world.

“CSUL (Connecting Surface and Underground Lives) hopes to be a safe space for all mole humans, and it also helps them find a job and other working relationships on the surface,” Dr. Redwood said. “We hope to keep growing CSUL to help more and more of the subterranean population integrate into surface life. We want the best for everyone.”

CSUL was only founded recently, but they have the approval from STLCC to use their campuses as meeting grounds for the mole humans who want to move to the surface.

“My family is very grateful to the school,” Krate said. “We wouldn’t have been able to make this change without their backing.”

have also accommodated this change, allowing some mole humans to get full time jobs within them.

“My mom was able to get a very nice job at Neuchem because of CSUL and the Neuchem execs,” Krate said. “My dad was also able to get a job at Target, though that was more of a rough spot – customer service can be brutal.”

Though this family has had some strife, Dr. Redwood and CSUL are still working to improve the quality of life and integrate more mole humans into surface society.

“Our goal for everyone is peace,” Redwood said. “As the surface world would say, the road there may be bumpy, but we will get there eventually.”

The companies within the STLCC district

meramecmontage.com S er vi ng the St. L ouis Communi ty Colle ge - Me ra me c Ca mpus c o m m u n i t y s in c e 1 96 4

ART & LIFE | 2

April.

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GRAPHIC BY ELIZABETH CLEARY

Caught Mole-Handed STLCC student accused of cheating in art classes ZACH EDGAR

confirmed Artsman had a mole named Milton assisting in the creation of his art.

R

Artsman found Milton while wandering the halls of the Meremec campus when he first arrived at the beginning of the fall 2025 semester.

STAFF

ight before spring break March 2026, an honors student at St. Louis Community College Meremec was alleged to be cheating in some of his classes.

Leonardo Artsman was usually seen wearing a beret where a mole was rumored to be controlling the student during certain scheduled class times, mainly during his sculpture and painting classes. When confronted with the rumor, the matter escalated to the president of the college where it was

“I was sitting by myself in the Communications North building waiting for class to start when I first saw Milton. He scurried up my leg and onto the table I was at to see what I was sketching. When he tried to point out something I could be doing better, and I didn’t understand, he jumped onto my head and started to dig at my scalp.

I then started to involuntarily move my arms, and Milton was in control of my sketches from there on out,” said Artsman.

Classmates of Artsman were stunned to find out that he was not the one creating the beautiful works of art that he made in class, but only the medium.

“I looked up to Leo,” said one classmate.

“I don’t even understand how a mole can see what they are doing in that hat he’s always wearing,” said another student.

STLCC administration is debating on

what to do with the duo of Artsman and Milton. On one hand some are calling it cheating because Artsman did not do the work alone, but can someone call it cheating if it is an animal and not a human interfering?

With students coming back from spring break there will be a hearing scheduled for April 1, 2026. This hearing will involve all administration of STLCC and the pair of Artsman and Milton to hear out their case and decide whether this will be considered cheating or if new policy will need to be put in place for future students.

Mole-Libs

GRAPHIC BY LILLY BURRUS

THE TUNNELS Under the halls of Meramec there are __________ tunnels filled with ____________. These tunnels Adjective

Adjective

have existed since ___________ when the ____________ dug them. They can only be accessed from Year

Noun

the _________________. But it’s not just you who know about them. ______________ inhabits these Meramec Place

Name

tunnels and runs the mole school underground. They learn about _____________ and how to dig Topic

holes all the way to _______________. At night they come out of the ground and make their way Place

to the ____________ to steal some ______________, so if its missing just know they were there.

Place

Noun (thing)

STAFF ELIZABETH CLEARY BRINN SMITH HIBA OBEED LINDSEY UNNERSTALL GRETA MCGLAWN JACOB POLITTE ETHAN BECKNER GABRIEL BROWN LILLY BURUS CALEB CARR GRETA MCGLAWN FARAHNAZ NAZAR CARRINGTON DAVIS ZACH EDGAR DANIEL HOYER ELLA KOVAC RICKY MEHRLE

MANAGING EDITOR NEWS EDITOR A&L EDITOR SPORTS EDITOR GRAPHICS EDITOR ONLINE EDITOR STAFF STAFF STAFF STAFF STAFF STAFF STAFF STAFF STAFF STAFF STAFF

Shannon Philpott-Sanders Faculty Adviser To place an advertisement, contact the advertising manager for rates, sample issues, etc., at 314984-7857 or email ssanders147@ stlcc.edu.

Editorial views expressed or content contained in this publication are not necessarily the views of St. Louis Community College, the Board of Trustees or the administration.

The Montage is a student publication produced four times per semester at St. Louis Community College - Meramec, 11333 Big Bend Blvd., Kirkwood, Mo., 63122.

Editorial policy: All letters should be no longer than 500 words and must include identification as a student or faculty member, phone number and address for verification purposes.

Phone numbers and addresses will not be published. All letters are subject to editing for content and length. All letters submitted will be published in print and online.

Mole People: Here for Us, or Out for Blood?

CALEB CARR STAFF

T

he arrival of the mole people, who have emerged from the tunnels under our campus, has raised many questions for students.

Many students want to know if the mole people are friendly or secretly evil and want to drag us down into the depths of the earth to be devoured.

Many people have heard of the mole people, humanoids who live in underground societies with miles upon miles of tunnels, but many were shocked to learn they are not just a myth but real, living right under our feet. ​D uring the renovations on the Communications North building, it was discovered that mole people had been living in the tunnels underneath

Meramac that have been her e since the 1940’s . Since the discovery of the tunnels, the mole people have begun living among us, attending our classes and joining our sports, becoming part of the STLCC family.

However, many students are skeptical about their decision to join our society. ​N o w t h a t t h e m o l e people’s secret is out, some might think they’re simply holding on to remnants of their old life beneath the school. But what if something more sinister is at play?

The mole people might not be integrating into our society but infiltrating it: learning our behaviors, finding our weaknesses and possibly plotting vengeance. ​Yo u m i g h t w o n d e r

why the mole people would seek vengeance against humans. But why wouldn’t they?

We e x p o s e d t h e i r u n d e rg r o u n d s o c i e t y and forced them to the surface. We should be concerned, since we never know when or where they might strike. They could drag us underground at any moment —either as food or sacrifices to a mole god. The mole people could possibly be capable of even more damage; they could possess the abilities to sink the entire campus into the cold, dark underground. ​Maybe I’m overreacting; maybe the mole people are harmless. They never bothered us before we discovered them. Maybe they still won’t, even as they walk among us.

While they could be peaceful, keep in mind

OPINIONS | 3

MOLETAGE the

that construction crews are sealing the tunnels, possibly destroying the last tie to their old life that kept them from attacking us.

C ​ ould the mole people be the new threat to our society, or are they just misunderstood creatures clinging to the little bit of their old home they have left from before the campus renovations?

When you are on campus, make sure to always have your ear to the ground and to watch your step, your next step could be your last on the surface. Make sure to be kind to our new classmates. Maybe offer them a bug to eat because, if not, when you least expect it, the mole people could drag you under to never be seen again.

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GRAPHIC BY ELIZABETH CLEARY

Mole-pinion: Steven Universe S3 E2 ‘Gem Drill’ BRINN SMOLE

When I arrived up here, one of MOLE STAFF my new human friends recommended to me the show “Steven Universe” because she had claimed that it had very interesting characters and relationships. And while some episodes are strange and off putting, overall I found that my friend was correct. The focus characters, the Crystal Gems, are very well rounded and interesting. The titular Steven Universe is a child who is able to help these multihundred year old gem people get in touch with their emotions, and in turn they are able to help him grow in absence of his dead mother that is still physically part of him through the gem on his stomach.

But the episode “Gem Drill” is what I want to talk about today. It features the continuation of Peridot (the green one’s) redemption arc, with her helping the crystal gems use the titular “Gem Drill,” to go to the center of the Earth to stop the “cluster” weapon of mass destruction before it expands and destroys the

planet.

The plot has Steven and Peridot separated from the rest of the group, drilling down to the cluster, officially designated as a “geo-weapon,” before it is able to destroy the planet. Steven is somehow able to have a psychic conversation with the cluster, as it is made up of the shattered parts of broken gems, which essentially makes it a giant gem Frankenstein, with little control of itself. During this psychic conversation, Steven is able to calm the cluster down, making the individual parts of it able to feel connected to each other, and giving it a sense of community, before making use of his bubbling ability to encase the entire cluster in a stasis state, leaving it under the Earth, in peace.

I think this episode has some very interesting ideas. It is clearly attempting to use itself as a way to help traumatized people or other victims find community and help people that have gone through similar events.

I do think this episode suffers from having to fit in the 11 minute time frame that Cartoon Network had “Steven Universe” run on, though that can be said for a lot of the episodes that feature major stories or plot threads. The show never really got out of this format, aside from the final episode, which was 45 minutes, and the movie, which was 85 minutes.

Even the sequel series, “Steven Universe Future,” had the 11 minute episodes.

Aside from the formatting issues, I quite enjoyed my time watching “Steven Universe,” and “Gem Drill” is an excellent example of the show’s great qualities.

GRAPHIC BY ELIZABETH CLEARY Picture of first mole staff writer Brinn Smole.

SPORTS | 4

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GRAPHIC BY ELIZABETH CLEARY

Mole Players Shake up STLCC Esports with Unmatched Skill Sets ELIZABETH CLEARY MANAGING EDITOR

A

new group of competitors is rapidly enhancing STLCC’s esports scene. What began as a few roster additions has quickly turned into one of the most talked about developments in campus athletics, as teams scramble to understand how a handful of new players have shifted the competitive balance so dramatically.

In recent weeks, the campus esports team has quietly added players who identify as part of the college’s growing mole population. Since then, the team has seen a noticeable jump in performance, with some players posting near-perfect reaction times and consistently outmaneuvering opponents.

For these players, however, the results are not surprising.

“When you live underground, you don’t rely on sight the same way,” said John MoleCarthy, a new member of the esports team. “You learn to respond to everything else – sound, movement, subtle vibrations. In a video game, that translates pretty naturally.”

MoleCarthy and other mole players describe a fundamentally different approach to gameplay. While most esports competitors rely heavily on visual cues, mole players say they are often responding before the cues even register. Player Lisa Andermole attributes this to the vibrations mole players are able to feel, which add an additional level of awareness during games.

“You can feel patterns if you pay attention,” Andermole said. “Once you get used to it, it’s hard to ignore.”

While some non-mole players have tried to replicate these techniques, the results have been mixed at best. Several

players have experimented with playing in total darkness, hoping to sharpen their instincts, but many report the adjustment is disorienting and ultimately counterproductive.

“I lasted about 10 minutes,” said one player who tried a no-light training session. “I couldn’t even tell where I was on the map, let alone react to anything.”

Despite the skepticism, mole players insist that their abilities are not the result of any unfair advantage, but rather a different set of developed skills.

“This is just how we experience the world,” MoleCarthy said. “We’re not doing anything extra – we’re just applying it.”

Still, their dominance has not gone unnoticed. Opposing teams have begun to question whether these sensory differences should be considered within the rules of the competition. Still, other teams have attempted to recruit STLCC’s

mole players.

“A few colleges have made me offers,” Andermole said. “But STLCC is my home. I mean, literally, I live below campus.”

For now, esports matches continue as scheduled, and mole players show no signs of slowing down as they continue to rack up wins and refine their unconventional playstyle.

“We’re just comfortable in environments other people aren’t,” Andermole said.

“That’s all it is.”

As campus esports evolves, one thing is becoming increasingly clear: in a competition built around screens and split-second decisions, success may depend less on what players can see, and more on what they can feel.

From Tunnels to Turf: Mole People Join the Soccer Team CALEB CARR STAFF

Since the mole people’s introduction to the campus, attending classes with our fellow humans has not been the only activity they have been involved in; many have joined extracurricular activities, including our very own soccer team. Many people criticized the introduction of the mole people into the sport, believing they would have advantages over humans on the field. After much discussion between the human and mole people soccer coaches, rules were finalized for the soccer season. Starting off with the mole people, they have a set of rules to follow to level the playing field. ​T he first, and probably the most

important, rule for the mole people: no digging in the field. The rule will not allow any mole person on the field to dig tunnels on or around the field to gain an advantage during matches. The primary reason for the rule is that mole people could tunnel across the field and pop out of the ground to steal the ball, possibly even taking it underground with them. ​ nother rule the mole people will have A to follow will be to always wear cleats on the field. The mole people will need cleats for their paws to avoid giving them an advantage over humans on the field. Beyond the two major rules the mole people will have to follow, they will also follow the standard rules of the game. The mole people are not the only ones who will have special rules placed on them; human players will also have

additional rules to follow during future games. ​H uman players cannot wear highly reflective clothing or gear during matches. The highly reflective gear and clothing could reflect light into the eyes of the mole people, confusing them and leaving them unsure where to go.

Mole people have very small eyes, and despite their tiny size, their eyes still have basic light-detecting cells. They can distinguish between light and dark, providing enough vision to sense when they might be approaching the surface or when a predator’s shadow passes overhead. Due to the eyes of the mole people, the no-reflective-gear rule must be followed by human players.

O ​ utside of the rules that the players will need to follow, there are some new and potential future rules that will need to

be followed for the field itself. One rule that will need to be followed will be the fields similar to those that human players will need to follow; the light on the field will need to be dimmed so that the mole people will be unable to sense their surroundings. Another rule suggested by Meramec’s administration is adding a layer of concrete under the field to be extremely sure that the mole people do not rig matches by digging underneath the field. The rule is still under evaluation and has been criticized because of the cost it would take to pour concrete under the field.

The new rules for soccer will take time for players to adjust to, but this could mark the introduction of a bright new future for the world of soccer.