The Minute Magazine Aug Sept 2018 WIGGIN'OUT

Sept/Oct 2018 Volume 13, Issue 5

magazine Issue & Event

Mr. & Mrs. Skip Holtz Dr. Kerry Byrnes & Dr. Derek McClusky

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magazine TIFFANY BYRAM

Owner/Publisher/Editor/Graphics/Layout

6 I am Living

Ashley Davis, Breast Cancer

8 A Year of Cottage Living

Sara McDaniel of Simply Southern Cottage VICKI CASKEY Sales Manager FEATURE WRITERS

Heather McWhorter Bailey Ashley Davis Sara McDaniel Ginger Pickett Nikki Reeves Regional Urology

JENNY REYNOLDS Founder

12 More Than a Little Bump Ginger Pickett

16 Roasted Squash & Spinach Pizza

with Easy Autumn Sangria Heather McWhorter Bailey of Social Bites

20 Women Helping Others WHO Member Nikki Reeves

Heather McWhorter Bailey Winnie Griggs Sara McDaniel Jason McReynolds Melissa Caldwell Teutsch Rosemary Thomas Darla Upton

24 Prostate Cancer & Familial Office Phone: 504.390.2585 Ad Sales: 318.548.2693 Address: P.O. Box 961, Belle Chasse, LA 70037

Cancer Risks Presented by Regional Urology

FIND US ONLINE!

For a list of locations near you, or to catch up on past issues, like us on Facebook or visit

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Take some to your friends, relatives or anyone else who needs a refreshing, enlightening “minute.�

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The editorial content of The Minute is prepared in accordance with the highest standards of journalistic accuracy. Readers are cautioned, however, not to use any information from the magazine as a substitute for expert opinion, technical information or advice. The Minute cannot be responsible for negligent acts, errors and omissions. The opinions expressed in The Minute are those of our writers and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher.

The publisher has the right to accept or reject any advertising and / or editorial submitted.

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his is our 8th annual Wiggin Out issue. 8th annual! 8 years of raising money to provide benefit to underprivileged women, men and children in North Louisiana that are battling cancer and have little to no support in purchasing wigs, headwear, lymphatic garments and prosthetic bras. It seems like yesterday we started on this journey. I am so thankful and grateful for all of the organizations that make Wiggin Out a success.

This year's event will be held Thursday, October 4th at 6pm located in the Davison Athletics Complex at Louisiana Tech University. We hope to see you there for a fun night of wigs and wine to support this wonderful event. Tickets are going fast so don't wait to get yours. God bless.

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a fresh perspective from rosemary's kitchen

written by Rosemary Thomas Do Yourself A Solid

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he Universe has your back, folks. Now, you can call it God, Karma, Nature, or whatever you want, but the concept still holds true, regardless of the name. Sort of like the old “rose by any other name would smell as sweet” saying.

Sometimes the Universe tries to get our attention, but we are distracted, busy, rattled, and resistant to change, so we fail to pay attention to the message.

Here’s the important part of that… the Universe will keep talking to us, cranking up the volume all the while, until we pay attention. Just like a street vendor in India who will follow you around for a long, long time trying to sell you some handkerchiefs or jewelry or whatever… neither the seller or the Universe will give up.

Most everything the Universe is trying to tell us, we already know. These things are not usually knowledge deficits. We don’t want to do things out of fear, a dislike for change, or just because we can be so ridiculously lazy (emotionally, physically, and mentally).

Some of us are hard of hearing, and I am not talking about needing hearing aids. The Universe has been yelling at me for a while about needing hearing

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aids, but I am not ready to listen and who can afford them anyway?

When we look back after something bad has happened, we often see where the Universe tried to help us out, but we slammed the door right in her face. The Universe is on the other side of the door, rolling her eyes and saying “Look Man, I am just trying to do you a solid.” That’s a phrase my daughter used last week and I thought it was a great expression.

Pretty soon, the Universe is opening a window, knocking over your favorite lamp in the process, and trying to talk to you some more. We pretend we don’t hear her, like when we avoid eye contact with the guy with the “Hungry” or “Will work for food” sign at the red light. If we don’t acknowledge it, then maybe we won’t have to deal with it.

Maybe whatever it is we need to work on, doesn’t really exist.

But it does exist. Try to listen. Listen to yourself. The Universe is inside us all. She is speaking to you and knows what is best for you. Try to move in the

direction of where she is taking you, even though she is leading you out of your comfort zone.

Quit smoking. Forgive your ex. Lose weight. Wear your seat belt.

Call your brother. Apologize to your friend. Quit drinking so much.

Get more sleep. Change jobs. Take your medication. Move to Seattle.

Adopt a child. Exercise more. Go back to school. Check out that weird mole.

Clean your house.

Talk to a counselor. Have a physical.

Lay off the junk food.

Listen up.

Pay attention to broken lamps.

Don’t be lazy.

Do yourself a solid.

----------------------------------------------------

Rosemary Thomas is an avid cook and gardener who enjoys the challenge of owning Rosemary's Kitchen in Ruston and working with her daughter. To find out what's cooking in her kitchen today, visit her facebook page at www.facebook.com/simplefreshgood/ or www. rosemarys-kitchen.com

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Hi there! I’m Sara! Home renovation is my passion. This columm documents the renovation process of my 1926 Louisiana cottage. Some would have chosen to it tear down, seeing no hope or future for a home in such terrible condition. Not me! I see resilience and charm hidden beneath the rot, decay and neglect. Much like my home, I too have been devastated and broken down. This cottage will personify beauty from the ashes‌my ashes. Join me as I reclaim and restore both my life and my home. You can connect with Sara at: SimplySara.com or SimplySouthernCottage.com.

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the journey written by Jason McReynolds

God and the Yukon

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any of us struggle with money.

A good number of us are in an area that isn’t considered poverty but isn’t really moving forward either. Almost all of us struggle in some area of our life.

Maybe these issues aren’t the worst things we’ve ever had to deal with. We know there are people out there much worse off than us. We know that these are 1st world problems but it doesn’t get rid of the fact that we're in a rut in our marriage or sick of work or grabbing at straws with our kids. So how can we see our life and problems from God’s perspective? The first thing we need to understand is that He cares about our problems. All of them. God does not trivialize the smallest things we struggle with. He is with us and wants to walk us through it. He will give us direction through every trial but only if we walk with Him. How do we do this? Well, God can use anything to guide us. In fact, something as mundane as a bolt can be revelatory if you let it. That’s what happened to me. In all things Jesus consulted His Father in Heaven.

John 5:30 - “By myself I can do nothing; I judge only as I hear, and my judgment is just, for I seek not to please myself but him who sent me.”

Our Yukon had a small oil leak for a quite a while. The Yukon is our only car. It was the rear main seal (read: really expensive to have fixed). We went on vacation and it blew out. It got worse through the week and I knew I had to fix it when we got home. I rented a car for the family and started early on a Thursday with what I figure to be a 2-day job, right? Ha! The whole time I’m asking God for direction because the job is way bigger than my youtube videos said it would be.

Now, you can hear God when you are quiet and still before him. He speaks in the stillness of our life. But it’s hard work to be still. We have to actively

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listen in order to hear the direction that God wants us to go.

I was talking to God the whole time I was under the Yukon. I didn’t have any distractions. It was just me and God. “God I need your help. God, I don’t know what to do next. God, where did I put that ratchet…. Seriously, I need that ratchet.” I knew with this repair, I had to do it right or I’d just make it worse. At one point, I had to take the exhaust pipe off of the engine. Two of the three bolts were stripped. I prayed and didn’t really hear anything so I went to the store and they told me I could get new exhaust bolts to replace the old ones. I never knew that. I never even thought of that. Thanks God! That makes it easy.

I wasn’t ready to deal with the bolts, though, because I had to get to the rear main seal. Thursday went slow, but good. Friday was good if you don’t count when the 400lb transmission started slipping off the jack. I got it secured with straps but I couldn’t get it level to line up with the engine no matter how hard I tried. I was praying and praying and praying and then I sought advice on youtube. I found a video that told me to insert those long exhaust bolts into the back of the engine to line it up perfectly.

I’d never heard of exhaust bolts before I walked into the auto parts store on Thursday. That’s how God works sometimes. We seek His direction and He works in our lives. God used these bolts to make something that was impossible, easy.

Saturday was frustrating. I was still talking to God though. I

had to replace the exhaust manifold. “God I need you!” My headlamp broke. Ugh. “Help!” A spark plug wire broke. “I know you are there God.” Then, a manifold exhaust bolt broke off flush with the engine. AAAggggghhhh!!! “What am I going to do now God?” I’m still talking to Him. He's still in control. But I’m at my wits end, mad, frustrated, and I’m going to start making real mistakes soon because of my attitude.

Around 5:30 pm Saturday night, a friend and his fiancé randomly came over out of blue. This friend knows cars. You see God knew all these problems were going to happen and He also knew that I’d need help. My friend Bao just started grabbing a wrench and got to work. I later found out he was on a date with his fiancé. My bad bro. We knocked out so much stuff in 2 hours.

And I was so encouraged. God was giving me direction in my struggle and my frustrations. Why? Because I was talking to Him. Sunday, I came home from church, put a few things back together, put the key in the ignition, prayed and prayed and prayed, and then turned the key. The engine cranked and my 2005 Yukon purred like a kitten. All because God was helping me, guiding me, directing me. And if he can direct me, he can direct anyone. Trust me. God wants to give each of us direction and guidance even in the midst of our struggles. We just have to actively listen to our Heavenly Father and seek to please Him. ---------------------------------------------------

Jason McReynolds is the pastor of New Orleans Community Church. He and his wife, Liev, have two growing teenage boys and one shy and sweet tween girl. Jason enjoys hanging out with his family and friends, watching and/or playing any kind of sports, and taking his wife out on dates. To learn more about him, or NOCC, visit: www.neworleanscommunitychurch.com

Fun Run 8:30am 5k 9am Fun Run 8:30am 5k 9am Minden Rec Complex Minden Rec Complex 1001 Recreation Drive

October 6th 6th October

1001 Recreation Drive

All participants will be given a Color All participants Run fun pack.

During thewill 5k be andgiven fun a Color fun pack. During the 5k and fun run route Run the participants will run run route the stations participants through different color and will run through different color stations and be blasted with colored powder!

This be fun blasted colored powder! This race will be for allwith ages.

Money race be fun all ages. Money raised from thewill entry feesfor and the entry donationsraised will gofrom to support Joefees and donations willPlease go to support Joe LeBlanc Food Pantry. join LeBlanc Foodthose Pantry.

Please join the JSL and help feed in need. the JSL and help feed those in need. Register We will have a postrace party W w iet hw ai l lDhJ ,a v e a p o s t r a c e p h o t o b o o t h , a npda rptlye nwt iyt ho fa D J , p hfoutno b o o t h , a n d p l e n t y o f fun

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Prices Gate Admission: $12 Pay One Price: $47 (includes gate admission & carnival ride armband) Fun Pass: $100 (includes gate admission & carnival ride armband all 14 days of the fair)

Special Rate Days Free Fair Days Wed, Thursday & Friday - 10am-3pm (Free Parking & Admission) 2-Dollar Thursdays ($2 Parking after 3pm, $2 Gate Admission after 3pm & $2 Rides noon-close) Discount Wednesdays ($5 Gate Admission after 3pm & $20 Carnival Ride Armbands 12noon-close) Oct. 25 Senior Day Oct. 27 American Heart Association Heart Walk Nov. 6 Special Election Day Opening ($5 Gate Admission after 3pm & $20 Carnival Ride Armbands 12noon-close) Nov. 11 Veterans & Military Appreciation Day

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& also online at www.StateFairOfLouisiana.com

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Don’t Miss....

AgMagic At The State Fair

Oct. 25 – Nov. 11 10am-9pm. Agriculture Building-

AgMagic is an interactive environment that will link food and fiber products to the forests, fields, crops and livestock produced by Louisiana farmers, ranchers and forest landowners. Featured crops will be displayed in various stages of development, and the importance of interaction between agriculture, the environment and society at large will be highlighted.

Antique Tractor Show & Pull

Fri, Oct. 26, 6pm-10pm and Sat, Oct. 27, 10am6pm. East Texas Antique Tractor and Engine Association

presents the State Fair Antique Tractor Show and Pull featuring antique tractor displays, antique tractor pull competition and demonstrations. Red River Smiths will provide black-smithing demonstrations on Saturday

Free Concerts Oct. 25: Side fX Oct. 26: Jeter Jones & The Perfect Blend Band & Cupid & Dance Party Express Band.

Street Entertainers

Oct. 27: TBA

•Wacky Chad •The Clown of Many Faces •Dallas The Fire Guy •Nick The Escape Artist •Rock-It Robot

Oct. 31: KANDU

Oct. 28: Navy Pride Band Nov. 1: Casey Martin Band Nov. 2: Ole Whiskey Revival / Cody Cooke & the Bayou Outlaws Nov. 3: KYPER / 69 BOYZ / Ying Yang Twins Nov. 4: Fiesta at the Fair

LRCA Finals Rodeo

Thurs, Nov. 1 / Fri, Nov. 2 / Sat, Nov. 3 @ 7pm “Tough Enough To Wear Pink” – Fri, Nov. 2 “Heroes Night”-Thurs. Nov. 1 Special Thurs Price: Box Seats $20 / Upper Level $10 Fri & Sat Price: Box Seats $25 Advance / $30 Day of Show Upper Level GA $15 Advance / $20 Day of Show

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Nov. 6: The Rockin’ Redeyes Nov. 7: Shayliff Nov. 8: Gospel Mega Fest 2018 Nov. 9: Total Choice / Windstorm Nov. 10: A Tribute to Music Royalty Nov. 11: Bayou Boogie / T-Broussard & The Zydeco Steppers

•The State Fair Zoo •Circus Hollywood •Hollywood Racing Pigs •Ms. Stevana’s Friesian Horse Show •Johnny Rockett’s Cycle Circus Live •Sea Lion Splash Show

StateFairOfLouisiana.com 15

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INGREDIENTS: • 1 apple • 1 orange • 1 Pear • 1 bottle red wine (750 ml, we used a Merlot) • 1/4 cup Rosé • 2 cups apple cider • Apple or pear slice or cinnamon stick for garnish

DIRECTIONS In a large pitcher, add the chopped fruit. Then, add the wine, Rosé, and apple cider. Stir to combine.

Chill for at least 6 hours or preferably overnight.

• If desired, pour sangria and fruit into a smaller wine carafe for serving.

• Serve chilled with a slice of apple, orange, or pear and a cinnamon stick as a garnish (optional).

INGREDIENTS: Dough: • 1 pre-packaged pizza dough or ask your local pizzeria for dough • Cornmeal, for dusting, optional • 14-inch pizza pan Topping: • 1 two-pound butternut squash, peeled, halved, seeded and cut into • 1/4-inch slices • 2 1/2 tablespoons plus 2 teaspoons extra-virgin olive oil • 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon • 1 tsp curry powder • 1 tsp garlic powder • Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper • 2 tablespoons torn fresh sage leaves • 1 tablespoon torn fresh basil • 1 teaspoon finely chopped fresh rosemary • 1/4 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes • 1 large garlic clove, smashed • 2 cups shredded mozzarella • 4 ounces honey goat cheese, coarsely crumbled • 3 cups baby arugula and spinach • 2 teaspoon balsamic vinegar • Zest of 1 lemon plus juice of 1/2 lemon

DIRECTIONS

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F. Toss the squash with 1/2 tablespoon of the olive oil, curry and garlic powder, 1/4 teaspoon salt and pepper to taste. Roast until just tender, about 10 minutes.

In a small saucepan over medium-low heat, add the remaining 2 tablespoons olive oil and the sage, basil,rosemary, red pepper flakes and garlic. Heat for 1 to 2 minutes, just to infuse the oil.

Sprinkle cornmeal or flour on a 14-inch pizza pan and set aside.

Place the dough on top of pan and use your hands to stretch it out into a 14-inch circle. Brush the infused oil onto the dough. Top with the mozzarella and the roasted squash, leaving a 1-inch border around the edge. Bake the pizza until the crust is golden brown, 14 to 18 minutes. Carefully sprinkle the goat cheese evenly on top.

Toss the arugula and spinach with the 2 teaspoons olive oil, balsamic vinegar, lemon zest and juice and a pinch of salt and black pepper. Top the pizza with the arugula, then cut into slices to serve.

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a novel approach written by Winnie Griggs

Layering in Texture and Emotion - Part 2

Once they’d picked enough for Lucy to make a cobbler or two, they’d eat the picnic lunch she’d packed.

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A noisy commotion from somewhere up ahead caught her attention.

oday I’m wrapping up my two part series on layering texture and emotion into your manuscript. Part I focused on Texture.

Today I’m going to discuss Emotion.

Toby whispered, “What’s that?”

---------------------------------------------------------

Where Texture is about grounding the reader in your scene, Emotion is about subtext, nuance, feelings, mood – in other words, it’s about allowing your readers to engage with the characters in your story.

Using the same scene, here is how I layered in the emotion (highlighted in bold text):

I always do better with examples, so I’m going to draw from the opening of one of my books, A Matter Of Trust.

Last time we took a bare bones scene and added in Texture and came up with the following:

“The preacher’s cat is an elegant cat. The preacher’s cat is a frightened cat. The preacher’s cat is a gregarious cat.”

--------------------------------------------------------“The preacher’s cat is an elegant cat.

The preacher’s cat is a frightened cat.The preacher’s cat is a gregarious cat.”

“Gregarious.” Toby drew the word out as he stretched the band on his slingshot.

“What does that mean, Ma?” Lucy Ames smiled down at the boy walking beside her.

“It means to be sociable, to want to be part of a group of other folk rather than off by yourself all the time.” Lucy pointed to the floppy-eared dog capering beside them. “For example, Jasper is very gregarious, but Mustard, for all his skills as a mouser, isn’t.”

“Oh.” Lucy watched him mentally file away her definition. Her sweet little boy.

Then she hitched her shoulder, shifting the weight of the basket she carried. It was a beautiful day here in the dappled shade of the woods, and they had an afternoon of picnicking and berry picking ahead of them.

She stepped over a knobby root and paused while Toby and Jasper studied a large beetle lumbering up the side of a hickory tree. She inhaled, drawing in the scent of pine needles and just a hint of honeysuckle. They’d been strolling along this leaf-carpeted trail through the woods for about thirty minutes, and the creek crossing was just past the bit of heavy brush up ahead. Some of the choicest blackberries in the county grew there.

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“Gregarious.” Toby drew the word out as he stretched the band on his slingshot.

“What does that mean, Ma?” Lucy Ames smiled down at the boy walking beside her. The Preacher’s Cat was a favorite game of Toby’s. He collected new words like other six-year-olds collected rocks and bugs.

“It means to be sociable, to want to be part of a group of other folk rather than off by yourself all the time.” Lucy pointed to the floppy-eared dog capering beside them.

“For example, Jasper is very gregarious, but Mustard, for all his skills as a mouser, isn’t.”

“Oh.” Lucy watched him mentally file away her definition. Her sweet, curious, intelligent little boy, so precious to her.

Now that her mother was gone, he was all she had that truly mattered.

Her smile faltered at that reminder, and she pressed a hand lightly against her bodice, comforted by the feel of her mother’s locket, cool against her skin.

Then she hitched her shoulder, shifting the weight of the basket she carried. It was a beautiful day, tranquil here in the dappled shade of the woods, and they had an afternoon of picnicking and berry picking ahead of them. Time to concentrate on her blessings, not her losses.

She stepped over a knobby root and paused while Toby and Jasper studied a large beetle lumbering up the side of a hickory tree. She inhaled, drawing in a feeling of serenity along with the scent of pine needles and just a hint of honeysuckle.

There was no need to hurry, no sense of urgency. After all, the walk was as much a part of the outing as the destination.

They’d been strolling along this leafcarpeted trail through the woods for about thirty minutes, and the creek crossing was just past the bit of heavy brush up ahead.

Some of the choicest blackberries in the county grew there.

Once they’d picked enough for Lucy to make a cobbler or two, Toby’s favorite treat, they’d eat the picnic lunch she’d packed. Afterwards, they could wiggle their toes in the creek, or look for cloud pictures, or-A noisy commotion from somewhere up ahead caught her attention. At the same time, Toby reached for her hand. “Ma,” he whispered, “What’s that?”

--------------------------------------------------------Here I’ve added the cues to help you understand what the characters feel, how they view the world around them and each other. I’ve given you more reason to care about them and reason to feel things more deeply when their peace is shattered, which it will be in the next few paragraphs.

Adding layers to your story is not difficult, but it does take a deft touch. It’s important to pay attention to your story as a whole, but especially those key scenes in your story. Give your readers layers to discover, to absorb, to delight in. And they will reward you by returning to your writing again and again.

Winnie Griggs grew up in south Louisiana in an undeveloped area her friends thought of as the back of beyond. She and her siblings spent many an hour exploring the overgrown land around her home, cutting jungle trails, building forts and frontier camps, and looking for pirate ships on the nearby bayou. Once she ‘grew up’ she began capturing those wonderful adventures in the pages of her notebooks. Now a multi-published, award winning author, Winnie feels blessed to be able to share her stories with readers through her published books. You can learn more about Winnie at www.winniegriggs.com or connect with her at www.facebook.com/WinnieGriggs.Author

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notes from

norway

written by Melissa Caldwell Teutsch Grocery Shopping in Another Country “Food is our common ground, a universal experience.” – James Beard

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e arrived in Norway on a Wednesday around mid-morning, jet lagged and hungry. As soon as we had gotten the keys to our furnished apartment, it was time to face my fears and go to the one place in Norway I’d been dreading the most, the grocery store.

The thought of grocery shopping in a foreign country had left me with so many questions in the months leading up to our departure: How expensive is the food? Will we be able to find anything comparable to what we normally eat?

How are my kids going to do without their American brand snack foods? and How much am I going to have to cook from scratch?

If you ever find yourself in a foreign country and need to go to the grocery store, I suggest not going jet lagged.

Nothing adds to the frustration of being in a new place, with new foods, all in packaging with labels you can’t read than having gone the prior 20+ hours with only 1 hour of sleep. That first visit was such a blur, but I do remember how incredibly overwhelming it was. We went back the next day, after getting some much-needed sleep, with the Google Translate app in hand, and although it took us over an hour to get a few bags of groceries, I felt a lot more confident and had all my questions answered.

How expensive is the food? It depends on what it is. Most items have a cheaper, store-brand option (just like in the US)

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that make a lot of the food comparable to US prices in the South. Some things are about 25% more expensive, like meat, cheese, and some fruits and vegetables. One of the largest differences in cost is soft drinks, which cost about double (which made giving them up much easier).

Will we be able to find anything comparable to what we normally eat?

Yes, but with adjustments. Aside from a few larger stores outside of town, most grocery stores in Bergen are small neighborhood stores and selection is slim. The simpler and cleaner we eat, the easier it is to find ingredients, but there have been some things that I wish were more readily available, such as cheddar cheese (which can only be found in one form: a small package with a few deli slices). Some items not available that I already miss are: chocolate chips, canned soups, a larger selection of canned or frozen vegetables, refrigerated or frozen biscuits, and pie shells (just to name a few). So far, the easiest thing to cook because of the availability of ingredients (beyond a basic meat, starch, and vegetable meal) has been tacos. Norwegians love tacos and have a day to eat them as well, called “Tacofredag” (Taco Friday).

What separates them from us, though, when it comes to eating tacos is the toppings: they eat theirs with corn and diced cucumbers.

How are my kids going to do without their American snack foods? So far, they seem to be adjusting well to being without Goldfish and fruit snacks and although we’ve yet to find anything similar to those two items, we have been able to find similar snack options for most of the other snack foods they like to eat.

How much am I going to have to cook from scratch? More than I want to! I’ve never liked cooking and never been great at it, however, I’m getting better… out of necessity, of course. So far, I’ve perfected homemade mac & cheese (no boxed kinds available here), breaded chicken tenders, biscuits, brownies, and pancakes (although the syrup here is $10 for a tiny bottle!). I even made homemade cream of chicken that I needed for one of my recipes since that doesn’t exist here either.

Now that the grocery store isn’t quite so scary any more, we hope to soon branch out and try our hand at cooking some Norwegian fish dishes. We know the perfect little grocery store for all the ingredients we’ll need, however we’re not going to leave that Google Translate app at home just yet.

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Melissa Caldwell Teutsch was raised in Springhill, La., and holds a Bachelors degree in Mass Communication from the University of Louisiana at Monroe. Her husband, Matthew-an English professor and Bossier Parish native--is a 2018-2019 Fulbright Scholar.

Together with their two kids, Juliette (11) and John Hayden (5), they're spending a year living abroad in Bergen, Norway. Melissa blogs about their journey at notesfromnorway.com.

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strangers at my

coffeepot Athena's False Alarm

I

’m sure you’ve heard the term “false pregnancy.” We’ve all heard the stories ranging from positive pregnancy tests to the extreme accounts involving someone’s friend whose cousin’s neighbor actually went into labor during it.

Ever heard of it happening to a dog?

Like, say maybe a Great Dane? A Dane that is the age equivalent of a teenager but maturity equivalent of a toddler and the size equivalent of a horse?!

Anyone? Ever? Me either! Never in my entire life! Never! I never heard a story about it, read it in a book, or seen it on television! And I watched Animal Planet! Not one episode of Emergency Vets had a false pregnancy! Twenty episodes about dogs eating everything from sticks to panties and needing intestinal surgery but not one single mention about false pregnancy.

Did you know about this? You did?

Then, why didn’t you tell me? If you didn’t know, let me tell you, friend, it can happen to you. Well, maybe not to you because you’re perfect and your baby is fixed. But if your dog isn’t fixed and if she is slightly off her rocker you might be in for the hormonal roller coaster of false pregnancy.

Oh it’s a real treat when your baby girl, who just spent several days chewing off her doggie pants just so she could make a mess all over the house with a complete disregard to the furniture or linens, will then proceed to swish her booty, flip her tail around, smooth back her ears, bat her lashes and behave like an absolute harlot in the hopes of making every boy dog in the county whimper and howl. She will behave as if she can’t hear you over the cat calling she invokes. The only thing in the whole wide world her doggie heart wants is PUPPIES!

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written by Darla Upton

You don’t know dumb until you see Apollo when Athena smells good and walks by in slow motion. Boy can’t remember a single command! Athena only sees puppies. And that combination is how a doggie mind and doggie body make a doggie false pregnancy.

Oh, that unpredictable body and silly mind! They are like two drunk friends trying to take the perfect selfie in a dark bar without using flash. Sometimes they get it right. Sometimes they have to try again. Sometimes they use a filter.

Athena went with the pregnancy filter selfie. Apollo took one look at her and swore he had a pocket full of puppies.

I told her to not fall for the “pocket full of puppies” line! She didn’t listen. She believed his dirty, dog lies. So much so, her doggie body and doggie mind started picking out puppy names.

After her cycle ended, we knew there was a possibility of puppies. I chose to ignore the possibility. Besides if she was, it would be Hugh’s fault. Then Athena started putting on weight. Her ribs weren’t showing and her coat was shining. For months we had tried to make her gain weight with little success.

I blamed her diet and was just about to pat myself on the back when Athena went from a toe in the false pregnancy pool to dog paddling in it.

She started looking like a Hollywood star in the first trimester. You know the look, still thin but showing a belly bump and boobs. Instead of playing and running all she wanted to do was

sleep, eat, snap at Apollo if he came close, snap at Apollo if he didn’t. If that doesn’t scream pregnant I don’t know what does!

For almost a month, she stuck to this routine. Every. Single. Day. She was glued to me and we were both focused on puppies. We were practically picking out nursery colors, coming up with names and discussing pre-school options for goodness sakes!

Then, her body and mind sobered up. There were no puppies in Apollo’s pocket or her belly. Let me tell you when hormonal Dane figures out she isn’t pregnant and lumbers up to you and covers most of your lower extremities with her body with her head on your shoulder you stay and pet her.

Mostly, because you can’t move but also because you want to help. Like, when she tries to mother the neighbor’s Chihuahua you intervene. When she puts her slobbery face in your ice cream you let her have it. When she watches Marley&Me, you cry with her. And when she starts feeling better, you remind her Atticus has tennis balls in his pocket and Apollo is at the park waiting.

And when the vet says some dogs experience false pregnancies every heat cycle, you snap at him and then put your head on his shoulder until he takes you for ice cream and a movie.

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Darla lives in Jefferson, Texas, where she raises her son, Atticus Gregory, with her significant other, Hugh Lewis II. She lived a decade in NC and a short time in Houston. Eventually she returned to her hometown of Texarkana, where she met Hugh while working at the Texarkana Gazette. When they met, Hugh was also the owner of the McKay House Bed & Breakfast.

After 10 years in the B&B business they quit. Now, they live in a historic downtown building with a yorkie, a great dane puppy, two cats and a tween son. And vodka and a typewriter. darlam8472@yahoo.com

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C

ancer is unregulated cell growth. That unchecked growth occurs by mutations or breaks in the DNA of a cell. Amazing as it seems, every cancer always starts in one single microscopic cell. The organ that cell resides in defines the cancer. If it starts in the prostate, it is always prostate cancer. Even if the cancer spreads to distant sites, a process known as metastasis, it retains the characteristics of its original organ. For example, prostate cancer which has metastasized to the bone is not bone cancer, and breast cancer spread to the brain is not brain cancer.

The prostate is a gland about the size of a walnut in the male reproductive system. It is located between the bladder and urethra (the tube that carries urine out of the bladder).

The prostate is an organ that begins a noncancerous growth in most men’s forties. This process, known as benign prostatic hypertrophy (BPH), causes annoying urinary symptoms such as slow stream, waking to use the bathroom, or dribbling. This is treated by medication or a procedure. Another part of the aging process is DNA damage and subsequent prostate cancer. Approximately one man in every six will develop prostate cancer. It is the leading cause of cancer in men and the second leading cause of cancer death in men. Fortunately, prostate cancer is often slow growing and therefore treated effectively with a variety of treatment options. However, some prostate cancers can be quite aggressive. While some prostate cancers do not need to be treated, without detecting the cancer and determining how aggressive it is, the decision to treat or not cannot be made. If the cancer is discovered at an advanced stage or is left untreated, it can metastasize. Because there are little to no symptoms of prostate cancer, screening plays a vital role in early detection and treatment. This includes a digital rectal examination which is a physical exam performed to help a clinician feel the surface and size of the prostate. If there is a hard spot or irregularity detected, this raises concern for prostate cancer. The other screening tool is a blood test for PSA (prostate specific antigen). Increased levels of PSA can indicate the presence of prostate cancer but does not necessarily mean someone has prostate cancer. It can be elevated secondary to an enlarged prostate or infection of the prostate as well. When either of these two screening tools raise a suspicion for prostate cancer, a needle biopsy is performed. This is done under anesthesia. An ultrasound probe is inserted in the rectum and the image of the

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prostate on the ultrasound is used to guide a needle into the prostate in a dozen areas to sample the entire gland.

An exciting new diagnostic tool is MRI fusion. Normally it is not practical to obtain a biopsy while a patient is in an MRI due to space considerations as well as the magnetic field. This fusion technology allows the information from the MRI to be linked to the live ultrasound. That way the biopsy is not random, but any suspicious lesions seen on the MRI are targeted by the ultrasound. If a cancer is found, it is given a grade to represent the aggressiveness of the tumor. Treatment options are then discussed which include active surveillance, hormonal therapy, surgery, radiation therapy, and in some advanced cases, immunotherapy and chemotherapy.

In rare cases, prostate cancer can be attributed to a genetic defect found within a person’s DNA that can be passed down from parents to their children. This is known as hereditary cancer. These cancers are typically more aggressive, diagnosed at younger ages (typically under 50) and can appear in clusters within families. These genetic abnormalities are not only linked to prostate cancer but other cancers such as ovarian, breast, colorectal, endometrial, pancreatic, and other atypical cancers. Fortunately, individuals with personal and/or significant family history can be screened for these genetic abnormalities. This is a simple blood test or cheek swab examining an individual’s DNA. If a hereditary mutation is identified, that person’s cancer screening may be adjusted in comparison to the average individual such as colonoscopy every year instead of every ten years, earlier mammograms, male breast exams, etc. In certain cases, this identification can lead to preventative medications and even surgeries such as elective hysterectomy. Not only can this change an individual’s cancer screening but can also give insight to family members and modify their cancer screening as well.

If you are interested in a more thorough evaluation of hereditary cancer risk, please follow through on that desire. You owe it to yourself and your family to be sure. Your primary care practitioner is one avenue.

Other members of your health care team, such as your Gynecologist, may be able to provide such services and counseling. But please rest assured, if you need guidance or testing, you can find that at Regional Urology. We are simply here to serve you.

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