Family Corner Weathering the storm

Supporting our kids emotionally in times of disaster

stay at Auntie’s house because we can’t go home right now’. Or ‘It makes sense that you might be feeling a bit worried at the moment, with the extreme weather we have had lately and the damage it has caused.’

The major weather events in the North Island this summer have been absolutely devastating with unfathomable loss, destruction and displacement for many. For those directly affected the practicalities and logistics of surviving the aftermath are tough enough, let alone the overwhelm of trying to mentally and emotionally process what has happened.

Even those who did not experience any direct loss or damage may still be anxious or distressed. They could be worried about loved ones in harder hit areas, seeing unsettling images in the media, seeing local damage in the aftermath and having memories of the extraordinary ferociousness of winds and rain battering their home and living through the uncertainty of preparing for the storm and not knowing how bad things were going to get. For children especially, all this can be difficult to cope with and to comprehend.

Kristin Ward, of the family coaching team at Parenting Place, says that when children are distressed after major events, rather than talking about it they can often express their feelings through behaviour (and so can we!), so firstly, be kind to your kids (and yourself) and understand they may be having big feelings that they don’t know how to handle.

Help kids express themselves

By calmly talking to them about what is going on, says Kristin, you are offering empathy and also giving them words they can use to better express how they are feeling. For example, ‘Everything must feel a bit strange at the moment – having to

Be honest Kristin suggests telling your children the truth about what is going on at an age-appropriate level and being prepared to explain what is happening several times as they try to make sense of it all. But try not to gasp at images on your phone or talk non-stop about what has happened – that can be overwhelming too. Be conscious of what they are being exposed to in the media without trying to completely shield them from updates and information.

Helping can help

For kids who are feeling sad or distressed about these events, Kristin suggests that getting involved in helping those affected in some way may help them feel a bit better and a little more in control because they feel they are making a difference. You could donate to an associated appeal, drop off donated items being collected to help those in need or perhaps do some baking for workers helping with the recovery.

Sending love and light to everyone.

Claire Nevans | Editor www.parentingplace.nz