March 2023 Issue

Page 1

Anniversary of the UofL Faculty Strike

Crossroads Between Hate Speech and Academic Freedom

Need a New Project? Here’s How to Start a Podcast!

So, You Wanna Write a Short Story? LitReactor Workshop Review

Uncovering the Death Mother

2023
March
01 EIC Note 01 EIC Book Recommendation News and Local Interest 02 Anniversary of the UofL Faculty Strike 05 Artists at the University of Lethbridge 15 Community, Inclusion, and the Academic Journey: An Interview with International Student Representative 18 The Crossroads Between Hate Speech and Academic Freedom: Frances Widdowson and the University of Lethbridge 22 Protest Photo Essay General Interest 24 Outdoor Aesthetics Photo Essay 25 I Might Be A Language Purist - Part 2 27 Need a New Project? Here’s How to Start a Podcast! 29 So, You Wanna Write a Short Story? LitReactor Workshop Review 30 The Last Emperor’s Retirement: Remembering the Career of Fedor Emelianenko 32 Uncovering the Death Mother 36 Weirdest Things That Have Happened at the Oscars Poetry & Short Stories 38 Good Boy: A SixSentence Story 39 Just Within 40 Sarah’s Secret

Dear Readers,

Over the past year, the University of Lethbridge campus has seen a significant surge in activity. It has already been a year since the faculty strike, and last month we saw a student protest take form. As a campus publication, we highlight the voices of our community. Engaging in respectful dialogue and listening to diverse perspectives are paramount. Our team has worked tirelessly to provide insightful content for the March issue of The Meliorist. Although media platforms are more plentiful than ever, student publications hold immense value. Writing is a powerful tool. It allows for self-expression, sharing knowledge and information, and communicating with others. Writing for a student publication has the ability to promote positive change in the local community and beyond.

We understand that students have diverse interests, so we make sure to include a variety of articles in this issue. Whether you want to read about anything from local news, arts and culture, or philosophical inquiries, we have you covered! I hope these articles will inspire discussion and encourage our readers to think critically about the issues at hand.

As always, we encourage you to get involved with us. Our aim is to continue to improve and provide content that is both informative and enjoyable to read. Above all, we want to highlight student voices and contributions.

Thank you for supporting The Meliorist; we hope you enjoy this month’s edition!

Sincerely,

Kianna Turner Editor-in-Chief Contributors Daly Unger Kort Woycheshin Liberty Blair Charissage
Kianna
Turner Editor-in-Chief Andres Salazar Writer Blaine Badiuk Business Manager Han Slater Assistant Editor Janise Michel Designer Cailin Williams Social Media Coordinator Laura Oviedo-Guzmán Writer Lauryn Evans Writer Shawn Funk Writer The Outsider
EIC Book Rec
Rukshi Sundararaj Vanessa Bowen

As the end of a relatively normal spring semester draws nearer, it is easy to forget that the situation that students and faculty found themselves in one year ago was drastically different. While this semester has proceeded mostly without hindrance, the Spring 2022 semester experienced an abrupt pause to all classes and events when the University of Lethbridge Faculty Association (ULFA) called its faculty members to a strike which persisted for forty days. During this time, the University of Lethbridge administration enacted a lockout, forcing all faculty off campus and revoking access to their offices, emails and campus resources. The direct result was the end of scheduled classes for all students for an extended period of time. The campus itself was quiet, but the picket lines at U of L campuses were busy, and the collective voices of the faculty were impossible to miss.

The University of Lethbridge Faculty Association cites the reasons for their strike as:

1. The absence of a formal contract between the University of Lethbridge and the Faculty Association for over a year and a half,

2. No pay increases for any faculty since 2016, and

3. A lack of respect toward the faculty from the University administration (ULFA, 2022).

Throughoutthe six-week strike, ULFA maintained a picket line populated by faculty members at all three University of Lethbridge campus locations. The largest picket line occupied the edge of the main Lethbridge campus along University Drive. There, dozens of faculty members marched, chanted, and waved signs while volunteers and ULFA members set up coffee stations and washroom facilities for the strikers.

Ultimately, a settlement between the U of L and ULFA was reached six weeks later. Regular classes resumed on March 23rd, 2022. When students and faculty returned, the semester end date had been modified to accommodate the forty-day delay.Many professors took liberties in restructuring their classes to accommodate that new schedule. Normalcy came eventually, though the impact of the strike certainly had lasting effects on the relationships between the faculty, administration, and the student body. Even now, nearly a year since the summation of the strike, many emotions are still high and tension exists between all levels of the University structure.

As hard as ULFA and the U of L work to show a united campus without continued conflict, it is hard to ignore the fallout of the strike.

University of Lethbridge Faculty Association

President Dan O’Donnell

ULFA President and U of L faculty member, Dan O’Donnell, spoke to me about the emotions and morale of the faculty; both during the strike and in the year since a version of their demands were finally agreed to. Speaking about the period of collective action, Dan remarked, “what I heard from people at the time is a really strong sense of betrayal… for most faculty members [the University of Lethbridge] is not their employer, it is the place where they practise their profession.” O’Donnell explained that the betrayal ULFA feels they experienced will leave lasting effects on the faculty and will not be easy to overcome. He stated,“the things that led to the strike were respect, parity, and equity … Strides have been made by the administration [toward fostering respect for the faculty] but it has not always gone our way.”

Speaking about his time as ULFA president in the year since the strike, O’Donnell seemed hesitant to say that the faculty’s situation have really improved, “things are starting to get back to normal. That comes in no small part due to the efforts of some members of the administration, it is a little bit inconsistent though … There is still an awful lot of managerialism.”

Any students visiting the University of Lethbridge or driving by the main campus during the strike may have

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encountered the private security and investigators that the University administration hired. Private security officers watched the strike through binoculars from inside vehicles and behind the nearby treeline and monitored the ULFA picket line. They were a constant presence during the strike, watching the professors and acting as the administration’s physical presence at the picket line for the entire forty-day period.

I contacted members of the administration, board of governors, and the U of L security staff for a statement about the University’s intention in:

1. hiring external security staff,

2. the cost of hiring that staff for the duration of the strike,

3. the purpose of having them watch the strikers, and

4. clarification as to whose decision it was to bring on this extra help.

As of the publishing of this article, those questions have not been addressed by any of the board, administration, or security representatives contacted.

“The university and the board of governors made a number of mistakes,” O’Donnell told me, “one of [their mistakes] I think was the external security, I think it was an attempt at intimidation and I think it was a mistaken attempt that did far more harm than good to the university … We offered several times to have strike protocols in place to govern this sort of thing, but again, the university had said no to that.”

O’Donnell wanted to make clear that no decision by the administration did as much harm as their intimidation tactics, especially the decision to lock out all faculty. O’Donnell stressed that stopping classes was manageable, but by halting research and progress on grants, the administration and the board of governors were doing too much. “[A lock out] affects somebody’s career … I think it was a serious mistake on the part of the University not to realise that labour disputes come and go, but the results of labour disputes are with you forever.”

The image that O’Donnell showed me was of a faculty union still frustrated, though united in their effort to move forward and help the campus move on. O’Donnell told me that during the strike, their regular faculty polls showed that 86% of the strikers were still in favour of the collective action and that the level of high morale present then has persisted throughout the last year. “I was in a meeting the other day,” O’Donnell told me, “and someone stood up and thanked us for the strike … I think a really big thing was the support that we got in the community, that was really good for many of our faculty.”

University of Lethbridge President Mike Mahon

President of the University of Lethbridge, Mike Mahon, declined to meet for an interview, though he did provide me with a

statement regarding his thoughts on the year since the strike. From his statement, it is clear that Dr. Mahon has spent his last year trying to look forward and focus on distancing the campus from the negative memories of the Spring 2022 semester. When recollecting the time of the strike, he wrote, “the suspension of classes throughout the labour action was an extremely difficult time for all members of our community and, most notably, our students. Despite the best efforts and intentions of the negotiating teams, the six-week interruption of classes caused stress on the entire campus community and challenged everyone.”

On the topic of the year following the strike, Dr. Mahon later wrote, “the University understood that much work would have to be done to mitigate long-term effects to the institution.” He then went on to outline the projects and initiatives happening at the University that give him hope for the future and for the student body.

He concluded by remarking on the end of his tenure as University President and the arrival of the new President Dr. Digvir Jayas. Referencing the extreme turn-around that the University administration has experienced since the strike and the end of several administrative terms, which includes the hiring of a new President & Vice-Chancellor, Provost, Deputy Provost , Chancellor and new Deans in four Faculties, Dr. Mahon commented, “...an infusion of new perspectives is on the horizon.”

Former Students’ Union President Holly Keltke

Holly Kletke was the president of the U of L Students’ Union during the strike. She spoke to me about her experience during that time and how the Students’ Union interacted with the University administration and ULFA. “It was a challenge [for the Students’ Union] because we didn’t have a playbook. I had never been through a strike before. No one else in the room had ever been through a strike before. So, we tried our best to be what we were to the students, which is representation.”

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Holly Kletke in the Meliorist Office.

The Students’ Union, not unlike the rest of the student body who had been sent home after the faculty lockout, had little power to influence the strike, “we were pushing all the time for contingency plans, we made recommendations every week on what to do, and we requested access to the student email list multiple times.”

Speaking to me about her thoughts regarding the strike, Kletke said, “I think that there were a lot of things that could have been done better and that could have been improved upon … There could have been more empathy shown towards students and the student body and [more attention] to how the strike was affecting students.”

Over the course of her interview, Kletke wanted to make two things clear, “[the strike] highlighted the importance of student advocacy and what we are really here to do … I think that in a more ‘normal’ year, per se, that student advocacy can be taken for granted.” Finally, Kletke remarked, “as Student Union president, the most frustrating part for me and for my team was being given false information, and this came from both ULFA and the University. We would be told one thing by ULFA, and one thing by the university the next day and there was no way to corroborate those claims.”

Closing Remarks

A year since the summation of the strike, I feel that my interviews shed significant light on the tension and the frustration that remains at every level of the University. From students to professors to the president, each person I interviewed tread lightly on the topic of the collective action and has their own reflections on the year since.

Speaking to ULFA president Dan O’Donnell, I was told about a faculty who are still very much immersed in the issues of the strike, saying, “You can’t beat people who are on strike into submission. All you do when you intimidate them is make the problem worse … It’s said that a bad employer is the best organiser and I hate to say it, because I have given twenty five years of my life to this place, this University really worked to

help organize the solidarity that we had on the picket line.” The frustration and the continued battle to attain their demands seem very real to ULFA, and the importance of their outward unity and solidarity were clear.

University of Lethbridge President Mike Mahon and the administration’s focus on the future of the campus and new initiatives they are undertaking point to an administration ready to move on and forget the strike. Often writing about the increase in new student enrollment and the new staff coming to the university’s highest level, it is clear that for the administration and the president, the strike is a black mark on their record that is better to be forgotten than further addressed.

As I listened to the experience of Holly Kletke and the Students’ Union from the time of the strike, I related to the confusion and frustration they felt. For the student body, the experience was certainly disorienting, though a level of distrust remains as the wounds caused by the handling of the forty-day collective action are slow to heal.

With the welcoming of new administrative staff, the U of L is looking at a potential period of change and redirection. Incoming President Dr. Digvir Jayas will be assuming a university that is still recovering from and resolving the strike. Jayas has expressed his understanding of the situation he is stepping into and his position is that his arrival is, “definitely going to provide an opportunity for a new direction.” Jayas begins as president of the University of Lethbridge on July 1st, leaving the University of Lethbridge waiting a little longer to see how that new direction will affect the persistent tensions and division between the administration, the faculty, and the student body. Meanwhile, many voices remain unheard. To be published in the next issue of The Meliorist, the diverse perspective of individual professors and students on the year since the strike will be explored alongside a deeper look at the private security who were brought onto campus.

References

https://www.ulfa.ca/faqs-for-students-about-ulfa-andjob-action/

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One thing I have always loved about the University of Lethbridge is the amount of talented artists that go here and see their works on display around the Fine Arts building or even work from local artists that are hung up around Lethbridge. Art has always captivated me – whether it be painting, poetry, drawing, cinema, or photography. When you see an artist’s work, you get to peer into their minds and are let into their own little worlds. It is such a beautiful thing to be given this opportunity and to be allowed to see the world through the eyes of another.

I was motivated to write this article because of this. I wanted to learn more from artists and learn more about them. I had the opportunity to sit down with three artists from The University of Lethbridge and discuss their art with them – their process, artistic journey, and learn more about some of their pieces and works in depth. For this piece, I sat down with three local and talented artists, Kort Woycheshin, Kiyomi Scoville, and Leah Evans. It was such a pleasure and honour to be able to speak with and learn from them. I sincerely thank you all for your transparency, vulnerability, and time. Without you, this article would not have been possible.

Interview with Kort Woycheshin

Tell me a bit about yourself and your art

“I am in my fourth year of a multidisciplinary fine arts degree. I focused more so on the new media side of things when I was in fine arts - or when I was getting into fine arts. Then, I switched gears a little bit these last couple years because I’ve completed the majority of my media stuff, and I’m just focusing strictly on art. Mainly photography, digital photography, and film photography.”

How old were you when you first started doing any art, and what did you first start with?

“I feel like I have always kind of been drawing and doing that kind of stuff, but I suck at drawing, so I gravitated towards photography. The first real photography experience that I felt like I was using, you know, a DSLR, and getting into it was - my mom had one, and we were at a wedding, and I took it and started taking photos of the flowers. I was kind of blown away that you can just focus on something and, you know, choose what’s in the frame. I used to make lego movies - stop motion lego movies. So I’ve always been interested in film and cinema, and those kinds of things too. So that appears a lot in my work, those kinds of references.”

What does your art mean to you?

“My art, to me, is kind of just like a good way to get out a lot of, you know, how I feel about things. How I’m feeling about the world, social issues, political issues, those kinds of things. It gives me a voice to talk about it in a safe space, in a creative space, I just find it a lot easier than, you know, dealing with it all alone, of course.”

What is your style or theme of your work if you do have any?

“I mean, like a soft style I would put. It motivates a lot of the work I’ve been doing recently on men’s mental health and toxic masculinity in general. You know, coming from a heterosexual man and looking at the fragility of men, and how it can be better portrayed. That men can be soft and you know, you’re not gay because you do these kinds of things. This is work I’m interested in. So, I have one piece I do want to submit, it’s called ‘Crying is for Pussies.’ It was a screen printed poster designed like a movie poster, honestly cause I love cinema and things like that. It’s kind of just about the fragilities of men and the poster is actually titled ‘Tough Pill to Swallow’ and it has like a featuring list of different types of men that are not dealing with their emotions. It’s all satirical and fun, and I enjoy that kind of work.”

Is soft style an actual style?

“No, no. Like, so that was a painting. But in photography, I just, I feel like it’s in the back of my mind when I’m taking things. I did a bunch of work last semester on analyzing the mental health in my family, specifically between my dad and myself. And the goal was to do it with more members, but I could only wrangle up me and him. So we did an interview type thing similar to this, but I documented it on film, and we took portraits. The whole theme was,‘what is something you think you should talk about more?’ He wrote what he thought, and what he needed to get out, and then I wrote what I needed to get out. It was just a really good bonding moment at the end of the day. But it turned into this, you know, nice series of images. And recently I’ve been doing a lot of street photography and just doing it because it’s fun.”

Speaking of theme, I noticed that quite a bit of your work also is in black and white. Is that a specific reason for you, or do you just like black and white photography?

“Honestly, it’s because black and white film is easy and cheap to develop. I feel like I’ve bounced around a lot between black and white and colour, and I’ve recently been wanting to do more

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colour because it’s a little happier. And, you know, January is a sad month. So trying to not just have all my work be sad and depressing, which every artist seems to be doing. Everything I make is just black and white and dreary. It’s like, I gotta stop doing this for a while.”

Do you have any inspirations for your work, or do you have an artist that influences your art and style?

“Richie Culver. Like his work - I just like his style of how he writes stuff and really vulgar, weird things and just puts it on a big board. He’s got a cool story. Fan Ho, I really like Fan Ho. I feel like movies are probably more inspiration to me than art. Midsommer (2019), any Tarantino movie I always vibe with. Honestly, the most recent Batman (The Batman, Matt Reeves, 2022). Just thought it was so cool.”

What do you hope your art means to others or what do you want it to evoke in others when they look at it?

“Honestly? Just, you know, careful thought, and incite some sort of feeling that there are positive men in the world. And, you know, there’s this generation that’s aiming to make a change so that we don’t get stuck in this horrible cycle of toxic men that just keeps running rampant through, especially post secondary education, and specifically our world. So just trying to get away from that, and, you know, give people hope that there are people out there who recognize that.”

Do you have a favourite art piece you’ve ever created or a photo you’ve taken and why?

“No, I don’t think so. I don’t know. I mean, probably the ‘Crying is for Pussy Poster’ is my favorite. It just felt the best. I feel like I had, you know, never taken a screen printing class before. I went the whole semester getting, like, you know, B+, A-, A-, and then, like, finally put so much time into that one, and then banged out an A+. Everybody loved it. The most rewarding project I have ever done.”

Do you think it’s the most rewarding as well just because it was the first class you’ve taken in screen printing or is it because of what the project was for you as well?

“I think it was both, you know. I mean, I had Katie Bruce, if you know her as a professor, she’s just so good, and, you know, just was so open to these ideas and thinking that art can be funny, art can have dirty humor, like shitty jokes essentially, and having fun with it. She was totally down for that, and would guide me in the right direction. And there were many versions of that poster where she was like, “yeah, you’re going too far on this. But like, not in a bad way, but just because it’s the contextual elements you’re trying to put in.” So I felt like I was guided really, really well to get to that final product. And that’s why I felt the most rewarding, because I had that support from my, you know, my mentor, my professor.”

How did you develop your artistic skills?

“I don’t know, just taking photos all the time. That was kind of where everything started. And then like to get into poster design stuff. I got really into typography, and specifically concert posters and tour posters. So I just kind of started buying them whenever I go to a show, and then just drawing references from those kinds of things.”

A Tough Pill to Swallow 13x20”, Mayfair Paper 13x20”, Mayfair Paper This Reminds me of a Horror Movie, Where They are Drowning in a Pool
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Portrait by: Cody Robinson Digital

How has your style changed over time?

“I don’t know. I think I’m still trying to figure out what my style is, honestly, but I think it’s gotten more technical, is what I would say. And then focusing more on the craft of photography, and then looking at how you can shape light, and how the camera has a relationship with light and those are the kinds of things that I’m far more conscious of. I feel like that reflects my style. So I’m gonna be, you know, thinking more consciously about what time of day I wanna go shoot, and why this building, from this angle, has a larger shadow compared to the other side. So those kinds of things.”

What projects are you working on? Do you have anything underway or any ideas?

“No, I’m in like the biggest slump right now. My God, so far, when it comes, it comes - I have no motivation to do anything. I’ve just been taking a lot of pictures, and that’s kind of where I’m at a turning point, like my recent projects are just becoming an exploration of photography and not thinking so much about theme. And I felt like when I was doing a lot of the men’s mental stuff, I still love to do it and stuff, and still wanna pursue that, but it’s just like, a little too much of it just kind of bogs you down, and then you’re over complicating things.”

Is there anything you’re looking forward to exploring with or anything you want to just play around with?

“I mean, we’re doing large format photography. So I guess portrait photography is my favorite of all the styles of photography, I just love it. I like the control and being in a controlled studio, controlled lighting, and controlling how the model is looking and such like that.”

What motivates you to create?

“Just expressing myself and getting my thoughts and ideas out in the world. And having fun, I guess having fun would definitely be the big thing. If I’m not having fun, I’m not gonna do it.”

What has been a seminal experience for you when it comes to your arts?

“Discovering the artistic side of photography, and not just doing photography for the sake of capturing sports and events and stuff. And it’s not that I don’t like those things, it’s just like, a totally different way to look at it. And then you start seeing how people are referencing art in their photography, they feel like that’s - you know, might not be my end goal in life is to be an artistic photographer, but to think about that when shooting makes a huge difference.”

Who are some of your biggest supporters when it comes to your art?

“My friends, honestly, my friends, my family, Katie Bruce, my professor, and mainly my photography studio class which has been awesome. They’re always hyping me up and pushing me way farther than I probably should be. But it’s good. Sometimes you need it. Definitely need it.”

Do you have a favourite medium?

“I don’t. I guess, not a medium, but, like, I love seeing my work printed. No matter what it is. It has to be physical for it to be good. So even if it’s just a poster, you know, some sort of typography poster, that kind of stuff, or even a picture, it’s way better printed than ever looking at it digitally.”

For more of Kort’s art, find him on instagram: @flamesgrain

Interview with Kiyomi Scoville

Tell me a bit about yourself and your art.

“I’m in my third year of my Bachelor of Art in Arts, so it’s kind of more of an open degree program, where I could focus on my art studio classes as well as equally focus on my art history and museum studies courses. I guess something that’s really important to me and my identity is my Japanese Canadian heritage, that’s a really big part of my art practice as well, and something that I try to incorporate into a lot of my works is just kind of like exploring who I am and where I’ve come from, including, like, how I’ve grown up in a predominantly white small town, because I was born and raised in Lethbridge, and my family came to Alberta after the Second World War. My grandparents moved here from BC, and we’ve always kind of had a weird relationship with our Canadian identity as well as our Japanese identity. So that’s something that I really explore; my artwork is kind of how I fit into it and how it’s kind of difficult not really feeling Japanese and not really feeling white - if that makes sense.”

Yes, that makes sense. I’m actually half Filipino and half Welsh, so I understand that. It’s like, where do I fit in exactly? “Yeah, exactly. And it ends up being kind of a lonely journey, where it takes a lot of self discovery and just looking inwards, because there aren’t too many people who can relate exactly to your situation. Especially for me, like there weren’t a lot of Japanese Canadian kids at all. I don’t think I ever met one - until I was in high school or university, so that was really difficult.”

What was that like, if you don’t mind me asking, for you when you did meet someone that shared the same heritage as you?

“I had a bit of impostor syndrome, I felt like others had more of this identity than I do. So I felt like they were more Japanese than I was, so I couldn’t express my Japanese identity at all. Like I need to kind of hide it, or I feel almost, like, embarrassed about it, because my family, while we’re Japanese, we’re not too traditionally Japanese. And especially for the Japanese Canadians, the third and second generations of immigrants definitely tried to assimilate to Western culture, so it was heavily pushed on, like my mother and her generation, who then pushed it onto me. In order to fit in, you need to do what the white kids are doing, basically.”

Do you feel like your art has made you feel more secure in your cultural identity in a way?

“Definitely. Especially because with so many of my pieces, I have to do so much research into it that I’m learning more and more about my Japanese culture as I’m going, in really unique and beautiful ways through art, and through different Japanese artists and Japanese Canadian artists and stuff like that. So it’s really cool.”

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What is your style or theme of work?

“I think for me, I don’t really have a particular style, because I’m so open to exploring and exploring different media, different practices, even different forms of art, whether it be like visual audio, stuff like that. I don’t really want to ever limit myself into only one sort of category. I think that that came out from me transferring from being in neuroscience and math and having that plan all through high school and my first couple years of university; I was kind of doing it for everyone else. I was doing it to make my parents proud and to reach the expectations of other people around me. What I found was really important was trying to figure out what I wanted, what was interesting to me, what I responded to. And the same thing kind of came out of my art that I found that when I was trying to only work with one medium, I was limiting myself. And I really wanted to just keep an open mind and then just realize that I’ll never really be able to master all techniques or anything like that, or even maybe not be familiar with all techniques, but I’d like to try and become a little more familiar with as many as I can.”

Like you said already, it’s been a journey for you of self discovery and introspection through your art. So, then I can just imagine that bringing in all of those other art forms, it’s just another aspect of self that you can be meeting with that piece. “Yeah, exactly. And I feel like even as I grow older and I become a more mature adult, that exploration and curiosity will never go away. I’ll always be trying to find different ways of doing things.”

I see that there’s a lot of themes that you bring into your work - do you draw on any inspirations?

“Well, kind of along with the whole like exploring different things. I take inspiration from almost everything. I take inspiration from traditional Japanese art mixed with contemporary art.

I’d say that a big inspiration I did have for a long while when I was still trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my art was that Third Wave feminist movement, specifically the Third Wave, because of how aggressive it was, and the punk rock aspect of it, it was very like in your face. It was bright and colorful, and it empowered women to be able to go into the fields that were predominantly held by white men. And not only fields, but also interests such as, like, a big one for me was skateboarding, so stuff like that. And then also art. When I started studying art more, I found out how often female artists are left out of the picture. So I really went towards kind of feminist movements and feminist artists to see what they wanted to say and what they were trying to say to the world.

I really like what you said about third wave feminism and why you liked it. That it was in your face and bold. It’s like fighting from the sidelines or being quiet about it has never worked. So then it’s like, we’re taking this space - we’re not gonna wait for you to create space or make space for us. But we’re gonna take it now because it’s ours.

“Yeah, Yeah. Exactly. Even, like, when I was starting my art studio classes, I was critiqued a lot by professors for not planning out enough or for not putting into my sketchbook exactly every little thing I was thinking of. And for me, my art is that I get the idea, and I just go for it. I don’t do a whole bunch of planning. I like to just kind of move with how my emotions are going and kind of feel it out. So I guess it’s more expressionist.”

That makes sense, especially since you said your art has always a discovery of self, so I can imagine that so many of the emotions you experience sort of just leak into your art.

“Yeah, and a lot of it also came from my confidence in myself.

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Look at me 2021, 20x24in acrylic and gouache on canvas

That I was confident in my ideas and as myself as an artist and that I knew that what I was going to create was going to work, and I didn’t feel like I had to necessarily plan out exactly the way that all my professors wanted me to.”

Do you feel like you were able to break free from that constraint in a way?

“Yeah, definitely. Because I just, I didn’t listen. I would fill my sketchbooks with, like, my drawings and stuff that I wanted to fill them with. I would take notes on certain artists that I was interested in, but I never really listen to my professors, I guess (sorry if any of you are reading this). And it ended up working out for me, because I’m very proud of all the art I’ve made from it.”

What does your art mean to you?

“I guess for me, my art, is kind of like a testament that I can do whatever I put my mind to. I never thought that I could be successful in art, and it was so terrifying when I was coming out of the sciences to go into something on kind of the opposite end of the spectrum. And I had a lot of people question me and question how I was going to make a living out of art. And I was just confident that I could, that I could network with the right people. So for me, it was kind of like saying to, like, take that risk, to trust yourself and to go for it. And something I always tell people when I’m talking about my student experience is how important it was for me to pick a program and degree that was right for me and not my parents. And I found out that I could struggle for four years and then go into another program and then struggle for another six years after that. Because that’s what I always planned to do when I was in high school, is to go on, like the premed doctor path. And I was so confident that that’s what was going to happen, and I was so sure of myself. And then I got here, and I realized that it was not what I was expecting, and it wasn’t what I wanted. I wasn’t happy with studying so late all the time, and I just wasn’t sure that was what I wanted to keep doing for the rest of my life. So then I think it’s important for people to see my art and to know also where I came from, that I really struggled with breaking out of that self conceived perception of myself that I had to stop trying to prove to the world that I was smart enough, and instead prove to myself that I can love my life enough, I guess. Another big thing with my art too, and what I like to tell people, is that anybody can create art. You don’t have to be an artist. I think that’s why a lot of times I experiment with my art too, and I show myself trying new things for the first time, because you’re not going to get it perfectly the first time that you do it. But that doesn’t mean that you should ever give up. Or just because you look at something you’ve created and it’s not necessarily what you thought, it doesn’t mean that piece isn’t important. And it’s the process of creating art that’s really important, and I think that more people should allow themselves to do it, regardless of the outcome of what their art looks like.”

What do you hope your art means to others?

“I think I would want it to invoke self exploration in them. Not to say that, this is my identity that you should also relate to, but kind of more as a message of this is how I’ve explored identity;

maybe you should explore yours more as well. Also, I think it’s important for people to have more confidence and resilience when trying new things. I never would have thought that my art could have ever been enjoyed by other people.”

When did you start sharing your art?

“Probably at the very beginning of Covid, and because I had so much extra time to myself, and I kind of saw that things were starting to shut down. I was doing more and more art, and I realized that it was something I was passionate about, and even if I couldn’t make a career or a successful future out of my own art, I wanted to be immersed in that kind of world. I wanted to be involved in the community and see how it benefits society. I wanted to be involved in that in some way, whether that be through art curator, public programmes, museum studies, art education, anything like that.”

Do you have a favourite art piece you have created and why?

“I would say that my favorite is an oil painting that I did. It was based off of another oil painting that I had to study in my advanced painting class. It was a painting by Freud. And it wasn’t the weird Freud, it was his son Lucian Freud. So he did an oil painting of a photographer named John Deakin, I believe. And his whole practice was painting people how he saw them, not how they should be seen by the viewers. So taking away ideal beauty standards and instead accentuating what the figure or the sitter might see as unconventionally attractive, like a larger nose or like larger ears, and accentuating that and putting focus on it instead of trying to hide it. And I really loved that, and I was inspired by it, and I chose that for my study.

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“ Portrait of John Deakin” 2022, 30x40 in, oil on on canvas

Then for my painting, I did a large painting. I believe it was 22 by 30 inches. So it’s one of the largest paintings I’ve ever done. And it was a close up of John Deakin’s eye, and just the side of his face, instead of his entire figure in the frame. I think the reason why I love it so much to this day is because of how much I hated oil painting. When I first started, I was like, this is not for me. I hate oil painting so much. This paint is so hard to work with. I wasn’t familiar with it. It took forever to dry, so I had to be very patient, which was also something I wasn’t used to. Because with my art, like I said, I kind of just go for it so that in the 4 hours I’ve been working on it, it’s done. Whereas with this, I had to leave it for a night and then come back to it and keep adding onto it. But at the end, I kind of looked at it, and I was like, “I can’t believe I did this.” Like, I was just really shocked that I took a medium that I was so uncomfortable with, and I had so much resentment towards, and I complained the entire time. But then I produce something that’s now one of my favorite paintings I’ve ever done. And there’s just something about the way that you can see the brush strokes in it, and working with the paint so closely, which was really different from what I was used to. And just kind of stepping back and looking at him, and him looking back at me, it just - he feels like a very warm, safe presence, if that makes sense. I feel like if I hadn’t struggled so much with it, and with that class, I wouldn’t have appreciated it as much at the end.”

What has been a seminal experience for you?

“I think my interest in the arts kind of came out more when my great aunt and my great uncle passed away. My great uncle passed away in 2018, and my great aunt passed away in 2022. So just recently. And for me, all of my family, growing up, was very proud of my academic achievements. When I was doing well on my tests and stuff like that, it was always really great praise. But then when I was alone with my great aunt and my great uncle, they would really incorporate a lot of artistic things into my life. Things like dancing, music, and singing. And they would always really encourage that, even if they made fun of me for it. Sometimes when I would be with them, that’s when I would be immersed in artists like Frank Sinatra, Ella Fitzgerald, and others. My great aunt would always have me drawing, and she would always keep every single one of my drawings; even when she passed, we found all of my childhood artworks. And she encouraged it. She kept telling me to keep working on it and keep doing it. And even though I wouldn’t show anyone, I would show her my art. So then, even as I got older, I would show her my art. And it was really important to me that I had that kind of push and encouragement, and I think that’s what pushed me to believe in myself and to kind of take that risk.”

Could you tell me about your favourite medium?

“I think it would be a tie between photography, drawing and painting. Photography was something that I was always, like, somewhat interested in, but I never really wanted to pursue it in my art practice. So then I took my first photo arts class, and I just fell in love with the process of developing the film, and really having not so much control, but an influence in the whole process of the development of the film, and feeling even more like it was something that I had created, and not something that the camera had created necessarily.

Yeah, so that was a really eye opening experience to me, and then it kind of taught me a lot more about photography too, and what goes into it. And I also found that I was quite interested in the science behind it, because I still have that kind of science-mathematical brain. So learning about all of the physics behind photography really itches the right spot in my brain. It was something that I slowly kind of fell in love with.”

How did you develop your artistic skills?

“I guess just practice. Just a lot and a lot of practice. And not necessarily practicing to get better, but making art, just to make art - not having the end goal in mind of creating something that’s perfect or a photo realistic representation of something. I think it was just important for me to constantly be doing it and incorporating it into my life more and more. And the more that I did that, the more artistic influences I found in my life, like the social media I was consuming and the books I was reading became more and more art focused. So then I learned more, and then I was talking to more creative people as well, and I think that that really helped. Before university, I was completely self taught because in high school, I took one art class, and it was the worst grade I ever got. So then that was another reason why I was terrified to switch my degree into art, because I hadn’t done well grade wise. I hadn’t been that successful in high school. And I was like, well, what if it’s the same thing again? But I thought that I just wanted to try it. I wanted to put myself out there and take these classes to know if it was right for me or not. And I was willing to accept it if it wasn’t right for me.”

How did your family respond to you making the switch to pursuing the arts academically?

“They were nervous … but I just had to reassure them that I’m my own person. That I will have my own experiences, and that if I fail, then I fail, and that’s okay, but it’s okay to fail, and it’s okay to kind of brush yourself up and get back up and keep trying. And even if you have, like, a long period of, like, stagnancy, you can come out of that. And it doesn’t mean that that’s your set future for the rest of your life. So I think having those conversations with my parents really helped, and then also showing them that I got my grades in the sciences and my math grades and stuff like that on my own. I worked hard for that, and I could work just as hard in the arts, so I was confident in myself, and I had to help them realize that I was confident enough for all of us. And the nice thing was that my sister was always extremely supportive. She said that it was something that I had to do. I had to follow my heart and passions and just try it, even if it didn’t work out.”

How would you say your style has changed over time, or even just your improvement from where you were then and where you are now?

“I’ve slowed down a little. So I know I said that I kind of slap stuff on as soon as it happens, but I have slowed down quite a bit, and I kind of am able to take a step back. I’m less critical of my artwork in the process of making it. So instead of thinking like this isn’t going how I want it to go, it’s more of seeing where it goes - discovering where the piece itself is going to end up and knowing that I can’t necessarily have perfect control over that.

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Kind of like Bob Ross is, like, the happy accidents. Yeah, I incorporate that a lot, and I think that helps me a lot with my anxiety around creating art as well as that mistakes happen. But that can also be art in itself.”

I really like what you said about letting the piece sort of take you there. Instead of you creating the piece, you can let it basically create itself and see where it takes you. “Yeah, because I think that a lot of people have issues with having preconceived notions of how it’s going to end up or how it should look to them. And when they can’t immediately produce that, they see it as a failure or as something that they’re not good at. But it’s a skill that you can develop over time. And also, just because it doesn’t necessarily look like one thing, it doesn’t mean that it’s not good. Like taking away those expectations that you have and just kind of going with it and seeing what happens. Another big thing when I’m talking to, like, my friends and people who are not necessarily artistic individuals, but I try to encourage them to do art. They always say that they can kind of see it in their head, but then they put it on the paper and it doesn’t turn out right. And I tell people that they need to remember that artists often use references, and that it’s okay to look towards real life objects and have them in front of you and you looking at it. And it helps a lot. It’s very rare and hard for an artist to just take it completely out of their mind and reproduce that perfectly.”

When you said you slow down and take a step back, was that something you acquired from your oil painting class?

“I’d say so. Yeah, taking some time. It’s important to take some time away from the artwork, I think, because I think that when you’re so up close and personal to it for such a long period of time, it’s almost like you’re looking at yourself in a mirror for so long and criticizing yourself for so long that you start to almost lose touch with what you really look like, and you kind of get confused a little. And I think the same thing happens with your art - when you’re criticizing it so closely and looking at it so intently all the time that you’re not able to see it as a whole. You’re only searching for the specific imperfections. And then when you kind of step away, and you come back to it with a fresh new brain and opinion, you look at it, and you see it for all of it, not just straight into the imperfections.”

What motivates you to create?

“I don’t know. I guess just my emotions. Like, I have so many feelings and thoughts and emotions swirling around at all times that I feel like I need that outlet to let it out. And I need to get it out, or else it comes out in tears for me, I get so worked up. And for me, art is kind of meditative where I can make something and slow down and take a breath and put everything else that’s happening around me just out of my head and only focus on, like, this colour or this brush stroke. So I guess that motivates me, my own mental health, my own sanity.”

It sounds like it’s always been a really beautiful way for you to connect with yourself?

“Yeah, that was a big part for me. And even, like, my entire, like, early twenties, has just been figuring out, like, who I wanna be and who I am in this moment, and being content with who I am in this moment.”

At the end of my interview and conversation with Kiyomi, I asked her if there was anything else that she would like for me to include. In response, she said,

“I think that another thing that I would want other students to know is how important it is to get involved in school, to join the clubs that seem a little weird or that you’re unsure of because you don’t know anyone in them, to put yourself out there and join. Like this semester, I’m doing an internship with the Art gallery, and I also am an Executive member of our Art Society, curating the niche Gallery. It has helped me so much with understanding how galleries work, and how the professional art world is and how it operates, and how to talk with people in that field. And also, I think, by joining clubs, reaching out to your professors, doing internships and stuff, it helps prepare you more, and it’s a bit more of an easier transition when you graduate, because you have these mentors that are there to help you and other people who are going through a similar experiences yourself. It can definitely be scary and intimidating when you think that your schedules are so busy already, thinking about how are you gonna join a bunch of other stuff as well? But when you’re thinking about the grand scheme of where you’re going with your career, it really makes a difference.”

For more of Kiyomi’s art, find her on instagram: @_artportfoliokiyomi

Interview with Leah Evans

Tell me a bit about yourself and your art.

“I grew up in a lot of small towns, like Rimbey and Drayton Valley. Lately I’ve been exploring a lot of memories of childhood and femininity, not necessarily in the term of feminist discourse, but more the emotional aspect. I am pretty multidisciplinary. Not much of a sculptor, but interested in photography lately as well. I am studying for my BFA (Bachelors of Fine Arts) in Studio Art.

How old were you when you started doing anything creative?

“When I was in preschool, my mom used to have craft days.”

Would you say you have a style or theme of your work?

“I’m not sure I have a style. I know, I started out more in high school focusing on hyper realism, and then I kind of drifted away from that. I wouldn’t really say a specific style.”

Do you have any inspirations for your work or any artists that have influenced you?

“Of course. I quite like, gosh, Marlene Dumas, Philip Gustan, Neo Rauch, Jenny Seville. I’m trying to think of this one singerMatt Maltese. Mitski an awful lot too.

How would you describe how they’ve influenced you?

“For the painters that I mentioned, I like to, I take a books basically, and I look at how they paint and their subjects, read a lot about them, watch interviews and the music, I can kind of pull themes or just makes you feel more inspired with the, like, dead silence in the room.”

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What does your art mean to you, and what do you hope it means to others?

“I think right now it’s exploration. And also it’s an outlet. so I guess it just feels right to me to make art. Maybe I’m hesitant to say I’m an artist for, say, and maybe that’s more like a professional artist, world gallery type thing, you know. But what I hope it means to others? I think if they can get something out of it, like if it helps them with a memory or a feeling, I think that’s enough. They can find something in it. Like, I don’t just want my art to be pretty or nice to look at. I want something substantial there for someone to pull out of. Relatable, maybe.”

You mentioned that for yourself, your art has been an outlet. How has that served you?

“Yeah, I struggled a lot with my mental health. You probably know, not that I think I’ve told you much about it, but I think at certain points in my life, it’s been pretty obvious. I find it helps me, especially when I was in more like middle school and high school, to really pull that feeling out of myself instead of just letting it boil up inside. And right now, I think it’s helping me process the way I feel about things. And yeah, it’s just, it’s just making the art itself is one of the best feelings.”

Leah elaborates on her Gone Creature Series in regards to her experience with mental illness

“The childhood series kind of reflected on my journey because I feel like - not that, I feel like that, but I know that my middle school to early high school, even later high school years are so blurry because I was just doing so poorly. But the years before I

was twelve or so, before all that stuff happened, so trying to process and see what I could pull out of that. I was going for - I didn’t want people to look at me like, “oh, happy kid paintings.” That wasn’t what I was going for, and hopefully it didn’t come across that way. I wanted the images to drip off the canvas in a way.

Do you have a favourite piece you’ve created?

“It’s - there’s two. I think - I’m hard on myself for all of my work. But the final piece of my Gone Creature Series, [Playhouse]. And then there’s another one from my second year, titled, ‘Beer Garden’. [In reference to Playhouse] - I think [I’m] trying to find my balance between, because I was referencing real photographs, trying to find a balance between the actual photograph and memories of that age. I think I did that most successfully in that one. It was also the last one I created. So maybe that’s just why. [In reference to ‘Beer Garden’] - it’s the first time I really, like, explored the cartoon style. I think maybe that was just really freeing, I guess. I liked how ridiculous it was, and I just liked having fun with that one, really. And pieces I don’t like are easier to talk about because it is easier to be critical of my own work than positive.”

What is your favourite medium?

“Acrylic paint. I find it, it sounds weird, but the smell and texture of oil paint really sets me off. And I also like it more - because with women’s art, like textiles, anything considered craft hasn’t ever really been taken seriously. And I find acrylic paint is definitely the more craft paint of the two. It’s not taking it seriously or traditionally, and I like that about it.”

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(Gone Creature Series) Playhouse acrylic on canvas, 36x48 inches, 2022

How did you develop your artistic skills?

“I liked art - it was my hobby. I did a lot, it’s funny actually. I actually started out and, like, just like from sketching, I started out really big into drawing manga when I was, like, 15, yeah. And then after that, I tried doing realism, a bit of online, like, youtube tutorials, and then I just grew for fun. I never could get digital art down, though. Yeah, I can’t do it. I do my best to draw everyday. If it’s not drawing, it’s at least something stupid, like writing down - I’ll copy song lyrics sometimes into my sketchbook, and then I feel fine when you write down the lyrics to something; you can really pull out what’s inspiring you about that song. I’ll highlight what I’m like, “okay, there’s something there that I can use.”

How has your style changed over time?

“I guess it’s like the little kid style. When I was really little, like elementary school, it was like, strictly because I looked at my mom’s high school sketchbook, but I was really inspired by it, and it was all pencil drawings. So I did that for the longest time. And then went through a big phase of just trying to hyper render fruit because there was a girl who came to our school, a children’s author, when I was in elementary school, and she drew a picture of an apple really quickly for us with pastels. And then she did a draw for which kid got the picture, and I did. Like, I got it, and I still have it. It was like my most prized possession, but I went - I would just copy this apple for the longest time. Apple phase. And I guess, I guess, the manga drawing. And then back to realism in high school and some really dark, edgy stuff. And then, I guess, just being a little bit looser now. I think letting the paint be paint is a big thing for me. I don’t know what artist said that. But not quite like that. In my way, I like to think about it as if I want something to be hyper realistic, I’ll just take a photo of it, so that feels more effective and time saving.”

Have you ever faced any difficulties in creating art?

“Oh, absolutely. Yeah, I had a big art block, actually, two weeks ago. I’m in Senior Studio right now. It’s just like the first independent studio. What I’m focusing on sharing now is female rage in the actual way it feels as a woman, a young woman, and trying to represent that through painting, both visually and emotionally. But I went through, and I was having a bad day, and I went in, and I just, I had like four paintings planned, and I walked in, and I scraped them. Just scraped all my ideas. Didn’t throw my paintings away. But, like, it happens for sure. I, yeah, I-I don’t have a lot of confidence in my work. I don’t know. I’ve always been really hard on myself. Like, I think that’s typical for people who have had an eating disorder is perfectionism, and I’ve never had a piece be good enough for me. But if I can pull anything out of a new piece, that’s enough.

How did you overcome those struggles and challenges that you face making art?

“Sometimes I work it through my sketchbook, which is probably the healthier way. Or I listen to music and try to work it through there. Just take a really long nap; sometimes, it’s effective. Or then lay in bed until I come up with something good; I’m not gonna fall asleep, which also, it works because you’re just so frustrated, right?”

So you’ve touched on this a little bit prior, but could you describe the project you are currently working on in more detail? (Pictured on page 14, ‘Shower’)

“For me, yeah, I’m just gonna pull up a picture of it because my memory is shot right now. So no, so the piece I’m working on right now is kind of my intro piece. It’s my first painting in senior studio. I’m looking at women - it’s two women in a shower, and it’s featuring, kind of, they have bloody knees and are menstruating, and it’s about the menstrual cycle. But also, there’s this idea of the gaze and how women are traditionally depicted in art history. I’m kind of wanting to challenge that. Like the way that she is bent over against the frame and almost trying to push out of it, and the showering aspect of it, like the desire to be clean. But there’s also these figures that look almost deadly and bruised. I still have to work through it a bit more.”

What has been a seminal experience for you?

“When I moved to WhiteCourt, when I was twelve, I was bullied pretty badly. And so I basically turned to drawing as just to distract myself, obsessively so. And that would be like, where I really started to [create art] a lot. I had a lot of experiences I was able to pull my own feminine rage from.”

What has been a memorable response to your work you’ve received?

“One of the few things I do remember from middle school is when I was at the end of term, my teacher handed out these little notes to us, and then she kind of said something positive to each of us in a circle, which is a really nice thing for a teacher to do. But she told me that if I ever need help getting to, like, an art school or something, to let her know, and she’d recommend me, which in reality doesn’t make much sense, but I thought that was really nice.”

What motivates you to create?

“I think guilt - if I don’t do it, I feel real guilty. But it also just, it just feels right. Like I don’t think I know who I am yet as a person, but I know that I make art, so somethere’s there. I just have to figure it out. It’s more about expression and making sense of the world around me.”

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It sounds like a lot of your art is a representation, an expression of your own inner world.

“Yeah, absolutely. I have really crazy dreams. Lots of recurring places that don’t exist or childhood homes, but they’re warped. Lots of nightmareshaven’t had a nice dream in a very long time. they’re not necessarily scary or as gory as they were when I was a kid. But yeah, those those, I have pulled inspiration actually directly out of those before. I just paint it back, which I know is, I wouldn’t say I’m a surrealist artist, but I know that’s a surrealist thing. And, like, I didn’t think I’d ever be into photography, but then I took a photography class last semester, and I just went on and bought my second camera. It’s a 110 fisheye camera.”

For more of Leah’s art, find her on instagram: @leahe.art

Shower, acrylic on canvas, 30x40 inches, 2023 (most recent work)
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Interviewer: Shawn Funk

I sat down with Maleeka Thomas, the International Student Representative at the U of L, to learn a bit about her life and the important work she does. Maleeka is a fervent ally and supporter of the international community at the University. She is determined to find solutions for international students who struggle to find proper housing, food, and work supplies. Her goal is to ease the transition from their home countries to Canada and to foster a community of inclusion at the University. Maleeka suggests that we have much work ahead to build the kind of community she envisions: one of inclusive representation for all groups, despite beliefs, backgrounds, or skin colour. I was surprised to learn from Maleeka that most international students leave the University without making a genuine Canadian friend, suggesting that we need to change our, so far, empty words about inclusion and community into meaningful actions that produce palpable results. The following is an edited version of the conversation I had with Maleeka on February 14, 2023. Enjoy!

I read that you were born in Portmore, Jamaica. What can you tell me about your hometown?

“Portmore is known as the hottest city in Jamaica. It’s called the sunshine city. I was born and raised there, grew up there my entire life, and went to primary school there, but I went to high school in Kingston. At 17, I got an early entrance into university, and I made the journey here.”

Did you face any challenges when you arrived?

“One thing that dawned on me was the fact that I had to come into contact with my blackness. It wasn’t something that I thought about at home, coming from a predominantly Black country. I would say there were some racial barriers coming here. I experienced that myself. A huge company here in Lethbridge that rents out apartment space didn’t want to rent to me because I was an international student. There were also challenges with culture shock. I remember driving down from Calgary to Lethbridge. There were no buildings, just flat lands. It was like a two-hour drive. I never sat in a car for two hours to drive home before. I would say that where I’m from, it is a lot more community-based. I am slowly seeing that build here at the University, but I feel like we can get to a point where it is better in terms of community. Back home, everybody is always out on the street; you hardly find people indoors. But you come here and it is so quiet on the street. Everybody is indoors or in their backyards.

I have never talked to any of my neighbours here, and (laughs) that’s the first sign that it’s not really a community. Normally I’m outdoors with my neighbours, or picking fruit off trees and walking around.”

How do you like the weather in Lethbridge?

“When I stepped off the plane in Canada, I was like, holy, it is sooo cold! Why is it so cold? Snow was a shocker for me. It was the first time I had seen snow in September. The wind is something that blew my mind. I am from a Caribbean Island that sees hurricane-force winds, and this is something that I have never experienced before.”

I heard that you want to be a judge. What made you choose this?

“All my life, I wanted to be a psychologist. I have three family members that are clinical psychologists, and I thought this is what I want to do, this is my life, I love it. Love people, love chatting. I studied sociology, law, communications, and economics at Six Form in Jamaica, and I realized that there is a lot of times that people are disregarded when it comes to the law. Story time, I was returning from a vacation in Florida and my grandad called saying, “hey I can’t find your uncles where are they?” Then my grandma got a call from her friends telling her that her sons were being arrested. They were face down on the ground in the hot sun on the asphalt, and so I was like what the hell is going on. I asked the cop if they had been read their Miranda rights, they hadn’t. Turns out it was a wrongful arrest, but they still took them away and held them for 5-10 days, and that shifted my whole perspective. Police react differently when you know the law. I realized that the judge makes the final decision, and oftentimes you find people who are not representative of the wider community. The empathy is not there for people who have been wrongfully accused or convicted, and you find that oftentimes the people in marginalized communities are the ones in prison. Here you have more Indigenous men in prison than there are represented in the whole population. Why is that? Nobody is questioning that. I feel like we need judges that are more representative of the population.”

You do a ton of work for the international center at the U. What kinds of projects are you involved with as the International Student Rep?

“I represent international students and advocate on their behalf. This year I have had the opportunity to sit in committees and meetings to advocate for the student’s needs because we

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know that international students pay three times more than the average student. At the same time, they are being treated as second-class citizens. People always think that international students that come here are just rich kids who have it all and just come here for education, but that’s far from the truth. A lot of us have parents who had to give up comforts for us to come here. When you get here, that money runs out really fast. These students are not being advocated for. They can’t get loans, and scholarships are very limited to them. There is no financial aid provided for international students. My main job here has been to support international students in any way I can. Back in December, I organized care packages for international students because many do not get to go home for the two-week break. Travelling home is expensive, so they are stuck here during Christmas when everybody else is with their families and friends. They are stuck in the dorms by themselves. Many of the international students stay on campus.”

You have mentioned that food and housing security for international students is becoming a problem, and you recently met with Dr. Erasmus Okine who is the Vice President Academic to discuss some ways that these problems could be addressed. Can you discuss any details from this conversation?

“One thing that we talked about was the fact that we need to have orientation packages that are geared specifically to the international student. We talked about having support because there is big talk of internationalization of the university, but there are no talks for support for these students, and that was my main concern. The international center right now has only three advisors and probably five or six persons on staff. But that is not enough for the number of international students here. There are approximately 1500 international students. Three advisors for 1500 international students just aren’t enough. This semester we saw a record number of 400 international students coming here to study. Normally it’s about 50 students we see coming in spring, but this was unprecedented. There is no support set in place for these students. I had a call from a student who was traveling down from Edmonton, but their housing was not ready for them for another two weeks. That student had to stay in a motel. It blew my mind! Why can’t we find solutions for these students? Why can’t we be able to facilitate them somewhere until they are able to move into their housing?

That’s one of the biggest things we talked about. I had another student ask for office supplies to work at home and I made sure to go around to try to get that person the supplies they needed to work at home because you come here as an international student and you don’t have any furniture for your house. A lot of times instructions get lost in translation, or there is discrimination.”

What are some of the other issues raised by international students that concern you on campus?

“A lot of International Students do not have a Canadian friend. There was a survey done and approximately 83 percent of international students do not have a genuine Canadian friend, and they leave university without a Canadian friend. You ask yourself if we are facilitating and fostering a community, why is it that these students who are paying so much are secluded are pushed in the corner. I feel like this is something that we could resolve very quickly by bridging gaps between communities. That is one of the major reasons why I got into the role, and I try my best to

connect people to different places, and I made sure during the student orientation that I took them around and allowed me to meet different people. Normally we have international student orientation separate and apart from the regular student orientations. So last semester I made sure that these students were placed in the same room because if we are all students alike why are we separated. Yes, we need to know different information, but have a session on a different day. We are stuck in a room with no windows, that was my experience just learning about immigration for like three hours. I don’t want to learn about immigration to be honest. I just want to know what I should do and what I shouldn’t do and that’s it.”

You work with the EDIA task force as well? What kind of work happens there?

“EDIA is equity, diversity, inclusion, and accessibility. A lot of times, you hear EDI and not the A, and I had to make sure that with the sub-committee that we are forming at the ULSU that we had a section for accessibility because oftentimes, students with disabilities are left off the EDI. They are not talked about. They are not mentioned at all, but it’s a big issue we face on campus. This campus is not accessible at all. The doors are so heavy. There is no way to get around if you are in a wheelchair, so that was my main focus, adding accessibility to the program. With the EDIA committee, I co-chair with Nathan Crow, the Indigenous Student Representative. What we do is make sure that our policies reflect what we are preaching. Are we just saying it because it looks good? What do you know about EDI if you are not getting advice from Indigenous people or people of colour who are experiencing these things in their daily lives? One thing that I make sure of is that there is representation all around; our EDI community is inclusive of everybody, whoever you are, it is inclusive for you.”

The U of L is a signatory of the Scarborough Charter that aims to redress anti-Black racism and foster black inclusion on campuses across Canada. How well is the U of L living up to these principles?

“I feel like the EDI team here at the University, they are doing a good job so far, mind you they just got into the university. We are like fifty years behind as it relates to EDI, but nevertheless, they are here now, and the work that they are doing is good. The Scarborough Charter: I haven’t heard of it, but why is that? If we are signing it why isn’t it being talked about. Did we sign it just to say we did? We are also signing the Buffalo Treaty with the Indigenous Peoples on the Treaty 7 territory. It’s aimed to foster a strong relationship between settlers and Indigenous people here on Treaty 7 territory.”

What are some concrete examples of how these principles are being implemented across campus?

“You see, now that it is Black History Month, they are facilitating a little money for these students, but this is not fixing anything. If anything, it is showing the barriers for these marginalized communities more. I feel that if you want to help communities create effective change that can last, giving money for these events doesn’t make an impact. How about creating scholarships centred around Black Inclusion, equity, and diversity? How about creating scholarships centred around marginalized groups and having students apply for these scholarships on campus?

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It could be scholarships or financial aid. I don’t one hundred percent know, but based on my knowledge of how things have been going in the last couple of weeks, they are giving us something now because it is Black History Month, but after February 28, they are going to forget about us until next year on February 1? When I first arrived, I discovered we didn’t have a Black History Month celebration until 2021. Then when we did have it, it was shoved on the backs of the International Center, and there was only one Black person in the international center. How is that representative of the international students here on campus? This year it’s a little bit better, but it could be a lot better. It shows how there is a specific time that you are shoved into one box, and then after that, peace out. I feel like it happens to a lot of marginalized communities.”

What is the significance of this year’s BHM theme? Building a Culture of Authentic Black Inclusion: Moving from resistance to change. Unpack the language for me.

“I don’t understand the full scope of the theme, but what I can say about the word authentic is it highlights how we as a people weren’t seen as authentic. That’s what I get. People see us for face value. You’re Black, your beautiful, lets celebrate you. But there is more to me than my blackness. I feel like when talking about Black inclusion there are spaces and tables that we are not at. I sit on the General Faculties Council, besides Dr. Okine who is the vice-president I am probably the only Black person sitting at the table, and I can’t really speak for the Black community. I can only speak for the international community because that is who I represent. So, who do we have at the table who represents this community? Who do we have included in these spaces when they are making decisions that directly and indirectly affect us?”

It goes further than just being invited to the table, right? I mean I was invited to the grown-up table when I was a young boy. That doesn’t mean I was allowed an opinion. “I think there should be some caution because there is a lot of tokenism that goes on in this campus. I would charge anyone with the task of looking around on the campus, go into almost every office and look at the person at the front desk and then look at the persons behind the desk and one thing I’ve noticed and I can speak for this building (SU) is that in most spaces there is probably a person of color at the desk or you have a woman at the desk, but then you look behind and its like 85% white male. How does this reflect this notion of inclusion and diversity?”

I saw a recent interview of yours from the U of L website, and you had some very powerful advice for new students—It does not matter how long you take; it matters about the journey. How did you come to this philosophy? Where did you learn it?

“I wholeheartedly believe that in any space you go, you need to make a positive impact. You need to create space where your name can be remembered, and a lot of people tend to, especially international students.I know that it is very expensive; they pay so much, so they just want to get through and get done on time, so they won’t have to pay a lot of money, which is fair. Completely fair, but I also feel like in the time you are here don’t worry about when you’re going to finish. If you only focus on how are you going to finish, then what about the journey? What about grasping everything within the journey? My grandma said to me before I left, “Your journey says a lot about you, take in every moment of the journey.” Assoon as she said that to me that’s how I have lived every moment here. Because the reality as an international student is that it could be taken away from you in split seconds. They could be like, “ya, you gotta leave.” That’s just how I live my life, takin’ in the journey. Its about the journey. Its not about when you finish, but how strong you finish.”

Lightning Round

Who is your hero?

“My hero is Marcus Garvey.”

Name a dish from Jamaica. “Rice and peas and chicken.”

I have heard you say, “Me likkle but me talawa.” What does it mean?

“It means “I am small, but I am mighty!”

Is there anything else you would like the student body to know?

“One thing I would love the student body to know is that international students are here. Black students are here. Indigenous students are here. Students in the 2SLGBTQIA+ are here. See us for who we are. Accept us for who we are.”

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Former associate professor of economics, justice, and policy studies at Mount Royal University, Dr. Frances Widdowson, visited the University of Lethbridge campus for a public guest lecture hosted by University of Lethbridge philosophy professor Dr. Paul Vimnitz. On January 13th, 2023, Widdowson announced publicly on Facebook that she would be visiting the campus to give a series of lectures focused on addressing and dismantling what she calls “woke-ism,” which she believes has destroyed the ability of universities to facilitate academic freedom. By January 26th, petitions had formed on campus to bar Widdowson from visiting, and a peaceful protest opposing her had begun to organize. Addressing student action, the University of Lethbridge President, Dr. Mike Mahon, released a statement on the 26th saying, “Members of the University community have the right to criticize and question views expressed on campus, but they may not obstruct or interfere with others’ freedom of expression” (Mahon, 2023). A substantial portion of the student body felt Dr. Mahon should be taking more drastic action against Widdowson’s visit. Just four days later, on January 30th, Mahon retracted his earlier statement and wrote, “To ensure our community is safe, in the context of this planned lecture, the University will not provide space for this public lecture to occur on campus” (Mahon, 2023). Officially, Widdowson’s lecture was not sanctioned by the University. Nevertheless, she assured her followers and the student protestors that her talk would still happen on February 1st, regardless of revoking her classroom booking. Instead, she vowed to move the lecture to the public portion of the University Hall atrium.

Back in January of 2022, Mount Royal University ended Widdowson’s thirteen years of employment, denouncing her campaign against “Woke-ism” after the professor endorsed her view that Residential Schools had beneficial aspects and proposed a series of controversial opinions to her students and fellow faculty members (CBC News, 2022). Widdowson’s statements led to action by the administration and complaints from her department. A petition by Mount Royal students garnered over six thousand signatures and other allegations against her brought the end of her tenure.

Widdowson is no longer affiliated with any post-secondary institution. Yet, she continues to develop and advertise her opinions regarding the Indigenous peoples of Canada. Most notably, Widdowson maintains the stance that ended her academic career by initiating her next book. She said she would attempt to refute the legitimacy of two hundred and fifteen unmarked graves found in 2021 at the Kamloops Residential School, BC.

On January 25th, 2023, the Department of Indigenous Studies at the University of Lethbridge released a public statement condemning Frances Widowson and the decision to give her a platform. In the department’s statement, they noted “the facts of the Residential School system and the experiences of Indigenous children within that system were rigorously established through the Truth and Reconciliation Commission” (Department of Indigenous Studies, 2023).

The Residential School system existed in Canada for over a hundred years, with the last school closing in 1996. Residential schools were boarding schools, often funded and operated by Catholic churches. They existed to “forcibly remove all vestiges of their original identities, cultures, and languages” (Department of Indigenous Studies, 2023). Between 1870 and 1996, at least 150,000 children were inducted into Residential Schools. In the decades since closing the last residential school, historians, archaeologists, and Indigenous rights activists have worked tirelessly to uncover the truth behind the closed doors of these institutions.

The Department of Indigenous Studies also noted that “these policies, which are a matter of historical record within Canada, clearly meet the United Nations definition of genocide, as listed in Article II of the Convention on the Prevention and Punishment of the Crime of Genocide” (Department of Indigenous Studies, 2023).

As of 2023, the identities and remains of approximately 4,130 Indigenous children have been recovered from Residential School land, giving the world a glimpse of the true toll this initiative had on the Indigenous population of Canada (University of Manitoba, 2023).

Frances Widdowson and the University of Lethbridge

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INTERVIEW WITH FRANCES

WIDDOWSON: January 29th, 2023

I met with Widdowson in the home of her host, Dr. Paul Vimnitz, three days before her scheduled public appearance on campus. In the guest study she has been occupying since coming to Lethbridge, stacks of books are piled on every available surface, and several manuscripts cover the desk where we sat. When she explained her next book to me, there was no doubt that the backlash she has received at Mount Royal and the University of Lethbridge has only encouraged her to fight for her point harder. Widdowson told me,“[Lethbridge] is a good place for me to be at this stage,” continuing that “some ideas cannot be examined within the university, cannot be critically analyzed, no questions can be asked about those ideas and that is what we’re seeing in Lethbridge.”

In an effort to subvert the second and third-hand sources that people may be reading, Widdowson outlined her position to me clearly, stating that “Woke-ism is an anti-enlightenment position, it is reactionary, and it argues that there are no objective standards for trying to evaluate claims that are being made about the world.” She stressed that this “Woke” direction that academic institutions are going down is limiting the freedom faculty have to express new ideas and question the existing understanding of old ideas. In reference to her earlier claims about the beneficial aspects of Residential School education and her stance against the indigenization of Canadian universities Widdowson emphasised, “indigenization, obviously, I have my specific opinions about that … we are a university, and we should be able to have discussions about this. We should be able to critically analyze these ideas, and that is not allowed at universities.”

When addressing the protesters opposing her, Widdowson said, “In order to improve society for everyone, we need to be able to state the truth, and that is what I am trying to do.” Widdowson continued, “University administrators need to be academics and need to encourage open inquiry to occur… This does not have anything to do with anti-Indigenous sentiments. It’s got to do with how to understand things better so that we can actually improve circumstances for all people in society, including Indigenous people.”

INTERVIEW WITH NATHAN CROW, ULSU INDIGENOUS STUDENT REPRESENTATIVE: January 30th, 2023

I met Nathan Crow, the Students’ Union Indigenous Student Representative, on campus two days before Widdowson was scheduled to speak. Only two hours before we met, the U of L president announced that the University of Lethbridge would “not provide space for this public lecture to occur on campus” (Mahon, 2023). It looked at that moment like Widdowson’s exercise in academic freedom was at an end. As we walked through the campus and talked, several students who had opposed Widdowson’s visit stopped to shake Crow’s hand and give him a high five as we passed, expressing their gratitude for his effort and their joy in what they saw as a little victory. “I feel like this is concrete evidence that advocacy works,” Crow told me, “when word got out that [Frances Widdowson] was coming to campus, it was a wide range of emotions. Some people came to me upset, some angry, some sad, and some felt defeated to the point where they literally broke down in front of me. It was very disheartening.”

Crow was overjoyed with the student support that the Indigenous community on campus received. Though he had initial concerns about how the student’s strong reaction might help Widdowson, he said, “I felt as though us reacting would play right into her narrative.” Crow later decided that even though ignoring her was an option, action had to be taken.

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Photo of Daly Unger and Francis Widdowson inside the guest study of Paul Vimnitz’s home on January 29, 2023.

“I found out the actual seriousness of the situation, and then I realized no, it’s actually necessary for us to step in and say something. Because if we don’t, it opens the floodgates or opens the possibility of this happening again in the future.”

“I support the freedom of expression,” Crow stressed, “but not when it discriminates against a certain demographic of our students and causes them harm.” This was the main point that Crow wanted to make clear to the readers and me, that he feels Widdowson is not exercising her academic freedom but is instead threatening the Indigenous student body with her ideas. His official statement, posted on Saturday, argued that Widdowson’s public lecture would be the, “first time [some students] will be learning about the Indian Residential School system, and I strongly feel that we, as an institution, have a duty to these students to provide accurate and true information on this important piece of Canadian history” (Crow, 2023).

The announcement by President Mahon was a victory for Nathan Crow and to many students on campus who aligned with his mission to prevent Widdowson from speaking publicly to the University of Lethbridge students. To Widdowson, this was merely another roadblock she would have to overcome. After the President’s message was released, Widdowson posted on her Facebook page stating, “You will have to haul me away by security to stop me.” Widdowson was determined to proceed with a public discussion, regardless of the administration and student body’s permission.

CLASSROOM GUEST LECTURE: January 31st, 2023

Students from all three of Dr. Vimnitz’s philosophy classes crowded into a University Hall room on Tuesday evening to hear the first of Widdowson’s lectures. This private lecture occurred during the scheduled time for Philosophy 2002: Belief, Truth, and Paradox and was optional for any of Dr. Vimnitz’s students to attend. She was joined by Albert Howard, the co-author of her books and articles on “Indigenous ways of knowing.” Tensions were high before the class began, as students discussed the atmosphere Dr. Widdowson’s presence has created on campus and gave their opinions about the nature of her upcoming lecture.

She outlined a half-hour lecture titled, “Should Universities Foster Respect for Indigenous Ways of Knowing? No!” followed by an hour long question and answer period, but the lecture hardly lasted half of its allotted time before students refused to hold back their questions and arguments. Dr. Widdowson seemed happy to indulge the students and to discuss any questions they had. “Nothing is off limits,” She instructed the class, “you should say what you think is true, even if you think it might be offensive to me or anyone else.”

She outlined a half-hour lecture titled, “Should Universities Foster Respect for Indigenous Ways of Knowing? No!” followed by an hour long question and answer period, but the lecture hardly lasted half of its allotted time before students refused to hold back their questions and arguments.

Dr. Widdowson seemed happy to indulge the students and to discuss any questions they had. “Nothing is off limits,” She instructed the class, “you should say what you think is true, even if you think it might be offensive to me or anyone else.”

The core statement of her lecture was her opinion that Indigenous ways of knowing held no legitimacy on a University campus or in any academic setting and that the further study of Indigenous knowledge and history would not be of benefit to society. Though Dr. Widdowson lectured self-confidently, the majority of students in attendance did not share or tolerate her lecture. “Students were prepared to be critical of her ideas,” Skye Nottebrock, a student of Dr. Vimnitz told me in a post-lecture interview, “There were, however, visibly at least a few students who were adamantly listening and taking notes throughout her presentation … I do think the majority [of the students] were there not solely to listen to her, but instead to analyze in an unbiased fashion. There were definitely those who supported her in some way or another present.”

At the end of the protest on February 1, 2023, Widdowson spoke to media personnel and discussed her perspectives on how the lecture went, stating, “Those students yesterday in that class, they were amazing. They weren’t in agreement with me at all, they had questions, they used their intellect to challenge me, and they even made me think and change my mind on some things I hadn’t thought about before.”

STUDENT PROTEST: February 1st, 2023, 3:30 pm

People began gathering for the protest an hour before Widdowson was scheduled to arrive. Representation from media, local businesses, students, and faculty was present, culminating in over 700 attendees (Mahon, 2023). The voices, a drum band, chanting of songs, and the constant click of cameras were deafening. Frances Widdowson was present for her public lecture, although it never happened, and the campus will never know what the whole message she wished to convey at that moment was. The energy present at the protest was powerful, and there were more moments than can be conveyed in a single article.

Frances Widdowson during her guest lecture on January 31, 2023.
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As the drums played, the counter-protesters who accompanied Widdowson and Albert Howard shouted, “Viva la free speech!” Although they called for her to speak, Widdowson was drowned out by the protest. Talking with me before Widdowson’s arrival, Assistant Professor Don McIntyre (Indigenous Studies and Business) told me, “This speech is anything but free. Look at the cost that it has placed on you, on me, and on everyone here at the University.”

As Widdowson attempted to leave the University hall atrium with a security escort, protesters and onlookers followed her every move. She stopped twice to attempt her prepared speech. In the hallway in front of Urban Market, she discussed her argument with an individual until the protest caught up with them and made it too loud to continue the discussion. The last statement I heard from the individual speaking with her was, “When you drown out her voice, you drown out our voice by not giving us a chance to speak.”

Halfway down University hall, Widdowson stood on a staircase and attempted to address the crowd again. Her dialogue with the crowd lasted until a Residential School survivor joined her on the staircase and began sharing his own story. However, the drums began again, and the crowd surged toward Widdowson. At that point, security became concerned for her safety, and Widdowson agreed not to continue her speech if the protestors would allow her to leave safely. The crowd parted for her, and campus security escorted Widdowson away.

Security and police barred students from following Widdowson as she left the building. Behind the wall of campus security and Lethbridge Police, the media was allowed a short interview with Widdowson before she left. When asked if she could understand the emotions shown by the protestors on campus that evening, Widdowson was explicit, “No. I have no sympathy. I think it’s terrible. This is what the university does now.” The emphasis of her short media exclusive was University President Mahon and his decision to not welcome her onto campus, “[Mike Mahon] is a panderer to activism, his university is going to be destroyed, and that’s really tragic … [the protestors] have no right to control campus, its fascist to be honest.” Following those statements, Widdowson left the University through the Science Common loading dock, concluding the day’s events.

CONCLUDING REFLECTIONS

As I met with the different voices featured in this article, the term “academic freedom” took a central place in my mind. It seemed that regardless of where I went and what I did, I could not stop thinking about academic freedom and what it really meant in this situation. Who are we freeing ourselves from? Who is the oppressor, and who is the oppressed? What do we stand to gain or lose from these differing definitions of academic freedom?

Frances Widdowson argued that academic freedom should allow her to say anything. Comparing her campaign against “Woke-ism” to the Enlightenment Period of the 17th and 18th centuries, Widdowson argued that by allowing all concepts and understandings to be questioned in a university, we would usher in new ideas and new ways of thinking that will be beneficial to society.

When I met with Nathan Crow, I experienced a very different approach to academic freedom and “Woke-ism.” Nathan certainly felt that academic freedom was important and had a crucial place on campus, though he questioned whether Widdowson’s message was about that at all. Nathan felt that her refusal to entertain Indigenous ways of knowing would leave her blind to parts of the Indigenous story that are not found under the microscope of the scientific method. “We are dealing with [the aftermath of the Residential Schools] on a daily basis through the impacts of intergenerational trauma. A lot of these things are intangible, so it’s not very easy to see unless you’re living them.”

The questions I was left with, which I would like to pose to all of the readers of The Meliorist, is this: Is there anything to be gained from this stance on the freedom of expression? If you feel there is, does the end of Widdowson’s mission justify her means?

The information presented in this article is based on available evidence and sources and has been reported to the best of our knowledge. For our students, resources are available, including Counselling Services, the Iikaisskini Indigenous Services, or connect with an Elder in Residence.

References

Crow, N. [nathan_4_indigenous_rep]. (2023, January 26). Nathan crow on Instagram: "Indigenous student representative public statement addressing Frances Widdowson’s public lecture at the University of Lethbridge". Instagram. https://www.instagram.com/p/Cn5LGdgy8-R/ Department of Indigenous Studies. (2023, January 30). Statement on Widdowson Lecture.

University of Lethbridge. Retrieved February 3, 2023, from https://www.ulethbridge.ca/sites/default/files/2023/01/departmental_statement_jan_2023_1.pdf

Jones, S. (2023, February 1). Hundreds protest controversial speaker Frances Widdowson at University of Lethbridge. Lethbridge News Now. https://lethbridgenewsnow.com/2023/02/01/hundreds-protest-controversial-speaker-frances-widdowson-at-university-of-lethbridge/ Mahon, M. (2023, February 2). President statement — Peaceful protest of controversial speaker | Notice board. Welcome to the University of Lethbridge | University of Lethbridge. https://www.ulethbridge.ca/notice/notices/president-statement-%E2%80%94-peaceful-protest-controversial-speaker#.Y9wHId9lDIU

Mahon, M. (2023, February 1). President Statement — Peaceful Protest of Controversial Speaker | Notice Board. University of Lethbridge. Retrieved February 3, 2023, from https://www.ulethbridge.ca/notice/notices/president-statement-%E2%80%94-peaceful-protest-controversial-speaker#.Y90w5HDMK2F

Mahon, M. (2023, January 30). Statement from the president — Controversial guest speaker appearance (UPDATE) | Notice board. University of Lethbridge. https://www.ulethbridge.ca/notice/notices/statement-president-%E2%80%94-controversial-guest-speaker-appearance-update#.Y9g0T63MJD8

Rieger, S., Kost, H., & Markus, J. (2022, January 5). MRU fires professor who espoused benefits of residential schools and criticized BLM movement. CBC News. https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/calgary/frances-widdowson-mount-royal-university-fired-1.6303734

The University of Manitoba. (2023). Memorial register. National Centre for Truth and Reconcilliation. https://nctr.ca/memorial/national-student-memorial/memorial-register/

Protestors following Widdowson as she is escorted out of University Hall on February 1, 2023.
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Protest Photo Essay Kort Woycheshin
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I MIGHT BE A LANGUAGE PURIST (BUT THERE’S HOPE FOR ME) - PART 2

Maybe you know the story by now, but if you couldn’t or won’t read part one, I’ll catch you up. I had to write a term paper for my Philosophy of Language course. Luckily for me, one of the prompts was about one of my favourite topics–how we managed to shift the meaning of words in our language. Please enjoy the second, shorter part of my paper on how we’ve managed to shift the meaning of the word “literally.” If the closing paragraph makes no sense, I suggest you go back to our February issue to make it more sense.

You Literally Don’t Know What You’re Talking About

Literally–another word with a meaning usurped by the masses. I distinctly remember learning this word from Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events. “If something happens literally, it happens; if something happens figuratively, it feels like it is happening” (2007). Maybe this is why I find myself fighting the urge to ask someone why they are not receiving medical care if they “literally died” when they saw an artist perform live the night before.

To my surprise, the word has been used as an intensifier for true statements since the late 17th century. To my even greater surprise, literary greats like James Joyce and F. Scott Fitzgerald were using it as an intensifier for metaphorical and figurative statements, much, in the same way,it is used today (Sheidlower, 2005), following a trend that began in the 19th century. From the 20th onwards, criticism about using the word literally as an intensifier for true and metaphorical statements became popular. Concerns about the word’s “true” meaning being completely opaqued by its new use made their way online, like the Boston.com article titled Literally the Most Misused Word (2011).

I have some ideas about the shift of use regarding this word. I believe this was a calculated liberty concerning the literary greats’ usegreats’. They purposefully chose to transplant this word to involve the reader in the reality they built in their work. I am sure someone could make the same argument about, for example, TikTok users’ use of this word, that they are trying to draw the viewer into their felt reality, but it just does not stand.

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I have reckoned with my elitism and asked myself if literary greats can take these linguistic liberties because they are literary greats. Can they solely base on their prestige as authors? Not in my eyes. For me, this group of people gets a pass because their stories are works of fiction–they are creating a reality that does not exist, not recounting one that does. TikTokers and laypeople I encounter daily often use literally to emphasize something mundane, something that happens in a world where we can all see it and, therefore, does not necessitate hyperbole to make the listener feel like it is real. Said differently, literary greats who write fiction can get away with this shift because we will never experience whatever they are communicating to us beyond the images their language conjures in our minds. Therefore, it makes sense that they literally set the scene and push the message onto us readers. These worlds do not exist, so we need the heavy-handed use of words to bring them into being in our minds. When a person is recounting an event from their lives, like seeing their favourite performer live, the disclosure does not call for the same dramatic use of language. We can understand how exciting and surprising it is to see a performance from someone one admires without hearing about how the other half of the conversation “literally died.”

In the latter instance, I believe people who use it literally in an exaggerated way choose to use it because they believe it lends credibility to whatever they are saying. They have seen it used to refer to something that is factually true, that can be physically referred to by academic authorities (through books, videos, and other media), and have misconstrued’s role as an intensifier. Essentially, they emulate a position of authority and the confidence afforded by their use of the word literally, ultimately shifting its use.

We come back to the question of how much freedom we, as language users, have to change or shift the meaning of words. This case is not as cut and dry as the one concerning emotional labour because, unlike that term, literally’s coiner is not around to intercede and give us their two cents. Of course, we have people like lexicographer Bryan Garner warning us about the risk of losing the true meaning of this word and hordes of people who try to correct others about its use. However, it is unlikely that people will move onto a different intensifier for some time, given its current presence in speech and its pervasive presence on social media. Add to this the fact that the younger generation already receives so much information

about the world through social media use, and information about the use of language is no exception. Lastly, Jesse Sheidlower, former editor-at-large of the Oxford English Dictionary, said the following about the word literal during a segment on NPR (2005):

“the literal meaning of ‘literal’ is something like ‘according to the letter.’ So when we use ‘literally’ to refer to something other than individual letters, [we are] already walking down the figurative path”.

Given this glaring shift in use, what right do I have to criticize the use mentioned above of literally when we do not even use it in its original sense?

Final Thoughts

Perhaps I have outed myself as a language purist in this text–I am a massive fan of precision, especially in language, because I believe it makes life easier, especially when talking about important issues our society faces. I also think it makes the conversation more enjoyable when there is no guesswork involved in understanding whether my friend was in danger at an event, but that one might be on me for taking things too seriously. Nevertheless, I continue to be amazed at our capacity to shift the meaning of terms, whether it is through concept creep, artistic choice, or dramatic/legitimizing misuse of a word. The fact that our brains and communities can accommodate novel, albeit incorrect, understandings of a word will always amaze me. However, I still think some examination and restraint are needed to understand the world around us truly.

References Boston.com Staff. (2011, July 19). Literally the most misused word. Www. boston.com. https://www.boston.com/culture/lifestyle/2011/07/19/literally-the-most-misused-word/ Definition of LITERALLY. (n.d.). Www.merriam-Webster.com. https:// www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/literally Sheidlower, J. (2005, November 3). Use or Abuse of the Word “Literally.” NPR.org. https://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=4988053 Snicket, L. (2007). The Bad Beginning. Bt Bound.

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With the new spring season just around the corner, it’s a good idea to start looking toward doing something fresh. Springtime is ripe for fresh ideas, the beginning of ambitious adventures, and newborn inspirations. A perfect time for new projects after all the hefty season cleaning, spring is just the right time to look at picking up a different hobby.

Podcasting is a hobby and activity that has been picking up steam in the past couple of years. Nowadays, almost everyone is listening to something like the Joe Rogan Experience or the Weekly Planet. These spoken word shows are fun ways to learn about obscure parts of history, riveting true crime cases, and what’s happening in pop culture media. Though they’re great to listen to, or just having them as background noise while washing dishes, making one is equally fun. Perhaps this season, you could give it a crack and publish your voice and your stories for those who use Spotify and Apple Music daily. Here is how you can start your own podcast!

The first and one of the exciting steps to starting a podcast is planning what you will be focusing on. If you have a burning passion, like history or sports, basing your podcast on that would be a great way to transfer your enthusiasm to the microphone. Whether you focus on one specific topic or change it periodically, the choice is entirely yours. Some podcasts concentrate on movies, but there are shows that bring in new guests of different backgrounds for every episode. Adding your perspective to things makes for a great way to render each edition of the show unique.

Take your interests and experience and run with them!

You should also consider whether you want to do the show alone or with a partner. Both have their pros and cons. Doing the program with a wellknown friend allows for incredible on-air chemistry. There aren’t many things more enjoyable than listening to two friends bickering about current news or the spicy hot takes on celebrity controversy. On the other hand, doing the podcast with someone else limits your flexibility, with scheduling recording sessions becoming a real obstacle. Going solo allows recording on your own time and leaves room for more flexibility in topics and direction. These are important, though both require a strong sense of accountability and consistency.

Once you’ve figured out your million-dollar idea, the next thing to work on is the recording itself. Podcasting, like many other hobbies, is a skill that requires a good amount of learning, practice, and fine-tuning. Starting is as easy as downloading Audacity on your computer and hooking up the closest microphone. Audacity is the golden standard for audio recording software. Easy to use and in-depth enough to modify anything you need; this should be your home base to record and export your new show to different audio formats. Here, you’ll be able to delete, add, split, and more to any recording you make, slowly putting together a show that will grow an audience.

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As intimidating as it may initially seem, publishing a podcast is pretty straightforward. There is a library of ways of getting your show onto people’s Spotify accounts. Websites like BuzzSprout, SoundCloud, and Transistor are platforms that will register your show on well-known applications like Apple Podcasts. Most publishing platforms have free plans, making it incredibly easy to start being heard by new fans around the globe. The process is often as simple as uploading your mp3 files to the platform, which then publishes them to the most well-known media applications.

In most cases, you can even choose where you want the show to be available. Premium features often allow people to find where the audience is listening from and provide analytics on your most popular episodes. With the publishing of your show being so simple, you’ll find the most complicated part to be keeping up with the Instagram and Twitter pages.

Hearing a recording of yourself is always challenging for the first time. If you’ve ever cringed at yourself from hearing a word or two on an Instagram story, just wait until you witness an hour-long recording. Over time, the more you record and speak into the microphone, the more comfortable you will get. No one is an expert when doing something for the first time. Podcasting can be incredibly rewarding. Building a community of people that tune in every time to hear you talk about whatever you’re passionate about is an incredible journey. The great thing about this hobby is that you can start reaching out to new listeners with the most basic computer and the gaming microphone you use when playing with friends.

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With it being so accessible, giving a shot at a new project like podcasting this spring seems like an excellent way to kick off the following few months.

Have you ever had a great idea for a story but never got around to writing it because you didn’t know where to start? Maybe you scribbled an idea on a napkin once and never looked at it again. Ideas are easy; developing those ideas into something that resembles a story is hard. Experts are waiting to help you! You have written your share of essays, reports, memos, emails, and letters during your time in university. These are all great practices, but if you really want to develop your writing skills, workshops are available from countless online and offline sources tailoring to various writing styles.

I decided to check out a creative writing workshop from the LitReactor website to see what all the fuss was about. I chose this site because the workshops had excellent reviews online, and I am a huge fan of the author, Chuck Palahniuk, who has contributed a lot of content to the website. The site also boasts tons of free articles and essays about reading, writing, and the like. The site offers a variety of workshops that vary in price and length.

The class I signed up for was called Short Story Mechanics, presented by the author Richard Thomas. It was a two-week workshop. The syllabus consisted of seven lectures and seven assignments. The last assignment being the completion of a 4000-word short story. The class was constructed with beginners in mind. Most of the other students had minimal story writing experience.

Pros

You get to write a complete story from start to finish. I had two new pieces in two weeks! The instructor provided excellent and timely feedback on assignments and was helpful throughout the class, answering questions and offering advice. His criticism was constructive rather than destructive; he found a way to work with everyone’s ideas. All assignments are posted to an open forum, so you get to see what others have turned in and the feedback they have received. It was nice to see in his comments; he wasn’t just blowing sunshine.The class was very well structured. I never felt confused about what needed to be done.

The class size was small, about 20 students, and retention was very high. The instructor was also lenient about the final story submission, giving us up to two weeks extra to put it all together. Once the story is submitted, the instructor will edit, give feedback, and provide some information on where you could submit your story for publication.

Cons

This class is too expensive for a two-week course. Coming in at $299USD; it is one of the more expensive workshops on the site. I used some money I received for Christmas to help with the cost. Otherwise, I probably would not have ponied up. Moreover, I was a little disappointed to learn that the classes were not live: this wasn’t really made clear on the LitReactor website or any other reviews I read. Lectures consisted of a small writeup, introducing the topic with links to the stories and essays he assigned for reading. These were adequate, but I prefer live classrooms. Lastly, I did have a small issue with accessing some of the assigned readings on the website. While all work, questions, and comments were posted to an open forum which all students will have access to indefinitely, some of the assigned readings are hidden behind a paywall and are no longer available after the class is over. This problem was partly redressed, as he posted some (not all) of the readings in a word doc in the forum.

Do I recommend this class?

The information in this class is organized well. I left with a clear idea of the structure of a short story, and the assignments were practical. The workshop has lent me another angle of analysis in my reading. Indeed, I was very satisfied with this class. The instructor cut right to the bones and did not waste time on nonsense. His directions were clear, and his feedback was good. It is nice to see the work of others on the forum as well. You can secretly compete against them!

But, I still have a hard time justifying the cost on this one. Compared to a four-month creative writing class at the University for a few dollars more, I am not wholly convinced that the value is there. Did I say he was a professional author with contacts in the publishing industry? That is worth something, but damn.

Overall, I was very satisfied with what I had learned in the class. Like going to a fancy restaurant, the food is going to be great and your tummy will be satisfied, but your wallet will not. I would only recommend this class if you are serious about writing stories, have the money to pay up, and do not have access to a university level creative writing class.

Find the short story called “Good Boy: A Six Sentence Story” inside this issue. The story was written using the structure taught in the workshop. Each sentence represents one structural component: narrative hook, rising tension, conflict, setting, mood/theme, and resolution. Check it out!

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THE LAST EMPEROR’S RETIREMENT:

Remembering the Career of Fedor Emelianenko

February 5th marked the end of the career of one of the most important athletes in martial arts history. Fighting in the main event of Bellator 290, known by the nickname of “the last emperor”, Russia’s Fedor Emelianenko tested himself, unsuccessfully, one more time for the heavyweight championship. At an MMA record of forty wins and seven losses (Sherdog, 2023), the fighter put his gloves on the canvas floor, signaling the end of his lengthy and prestigious run as a professional combat sports athlete, as well as the very end of the days of early MMA pioneers fighting. As he gave his final speech in the cage, he was joined by various pioneers of the sport, who paved the way for MMA’s modern popularity (Martin, 2023).

The retirement of Emelianenko has sparked intense reflection and feelings of nostalgia. For many MMA fans, watching him fight against the world’s top martial artists has been a regular event since the late 90s. However, for many younger fans, he may not seem like anything special. MMA journalists and other athletes have gone on record saying that Emelianenko is one of the best fighters of all time. The problem is that although he was an incredibly important figure in the sport and was actively competing at the highest level for decades, he never fought in the Ultimate Fighting Championship (Heck, 2023), which made it easy for people to overlook, or unintentionally pass over his career. A closer analysis of his career reveals that Fedor, “the last emperor” Emelianenko lived up to all the praise he received. With the end of his career now in the books, looking back at his lengthy and legendary career is a good way to remind ourselves of what made him such an important person in modern martial arts history.

The modern sport of mixed martial arts saw its semi-mainstream debut in 1993 with the first event from the UFC. From this, pioneers of the new combat sport came onto the scene, such as Royce Gracie, Ken Shamrock, and Dan Severn (Fowlkes, 2018). This, however, was mostly in North America. Over in Europe and in Asia, MMA was beginning through organizations and events such as Pride Fighting Championship, Pancrase, and Rings. It was in these organizations that MMA began to grow in the eastern world (Wilcox, 2008). Among the sport pioneers on this side of the planet were fighters like Fedor Emelianenko. Making his debut in 2000, he fought mostly under the banner of Pride Fighting Championship until its closure in 2007. Though he never made his way into the UFC roster, he fought under organizations like Strikeforce and Affliction MMA, where he was still proving that he could fight against the top of the food chain.

One of the biggest reasons why Emelianenko is so highly regarded is that his record reveals a list of wins against some of the best fighters in history. Since early in his career, the Russian legend fought against other pioneers of the sport, such as Ricardo and Tsuyoshi Kosaka. However, when fighting in Pride, he put himself to the test against NCAA Division I tournament wrestling winner Kevin Randleman, Olympian and UFC champion Mark Coleman. He defeated former commando of the Croatian special forces’ anti-terrorism unit and world champion kickboxer, Mirko “Cro Cop’’ Filipovic (Sherdog, 2023). This is only a small sample of the list of titans that Emelianenko defeated, often with ease. From the mid-2000s, he went consistently through a murderer’s row of world champions from different sports, Olympians, hall-of-fame athletes, and up-and-coming fighters, without much difficulty. What was perhaps even more shocking was that he did not fit the stereotypical image of a shredded and lean fighter. Instead, he fought the best of the best with the classic definition of a “dad bod.” The contrast between his seemingly mundane body type and his dominant performances demonstrated that in combat sports like MMA, technique and strategy are the biggest forces behind victories, rather than sheer muscle mass and physical strength.

Later in his career, Emelianenko took steps outside the cage. Now that his athletic prime was past him and he had built a name for himself as one of the biggest fighters in the sport, he started to focus on the next generation of fighters. Starting his own training camp known as Fedor Team, he has become one of the best-known coaches in eastern Europe for MMA and combat sambo. His team has produced many elite fighters, including Vadim Nemkov, the current champion of Bellator’s light heavyweight division (Myers, 2021). Whereas many fighters struggle to transition to new careers after hanging up the gloves, Fedor Emelianenko has become a mentor for many young fighters looking to make a name for themselves in the same way.

While older fans of MMA would have no issues recognizing him or understanding why he is such an important figure in the sport, younger fans might not see it the same way. Naturally, as Emelianenko grew older, he fought less dominantly and lost on occasion. The recent images of this supposed “titan” of the sport losing have somewhat clouded his legacy. With that being said, his influence in the sport’s early days has stood the test of time, with many of his early fights being helpful for the growth of MMA in Europe and Asia. Even now, after his retirement at Bellator 290, he continues to be an integral part of the sport’s highest level with his new role as coach. There’s a common saying in the world of mixed martial arts: father time is undefeated. Though Emelianenko began to slow down until his eventual retirement, the end of an era always signals the next. “The last emperor” has now moved on, leaving behind a legacy and now helping others find their own path.

References

“Fedor Emelianenko - The Last Emperor. Fight History - Pro.” (2023). Sherdog. Retrieved February 17, 2023 from https://www.sherdog.com/fighter/ Fedor-Emelianenko-1500.

Fowlkes, B. (2018). Today in MMA History: UFC 1 marks the start of something new. MMAJunkie. Retrieved February 17, 2023 from https://mmajunkie. usatoday.com/2018/11/ufc-1-today-in-mma-history.

Heck, M. (2023). Fedor Emelianenko has no regrets not fighting for UFC, recalls only meeting with Dana White. MMAFighting. Retrieved February 17, 2023 from https://www.mmafighting.com/2023/2/1/23581718/fedor-emeilianenko-has-no-regrets-not-fighting-for-ufc-recalls-only-meeting-with-danawhite.

Martin, D. (2023). Fedor Emelianenko suffers first-round loss to Ryan Bader in retirement fight in Bellator 290 main event. MMAFighting. Retrieved February 17, 2023 from https://www.mmafighting.com/2023/2/4/23586267/fedoremelianenko-suffers-first-round-loss-to-ryan-bader-in-retirement-fight-bellator290-main-event.

Myers, M. (2021). Fedor Emelianenko talked on his decision to found Fedor Team. Harcord. Retrieved February 17, 2023 from https://harcord.com/ news/fedor-emelianenko-talked-on-his-decision-to-found-fedor-team.

Wilcox, N. (2008). MMA History XV: Pancrase, RINGS, and Shooto. BloodyElbow. Retrieved February 17, 2023 from https://www.bloodyelbow. com/2008/2/18/152316/041.

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Uncovering the Death Mother

Defining the Death Mother

The Death Mother archetype is something that I only learned about two years ago, and it fascinated me. Soon, I saw this archetype expressed in movies such as Lady Bird (2017). The Death Mother archetype symbolizes ill behaviour or feelings of a woman threatening their child(ren) - meaning their life or psychological, physical, mental, or emotional well-being (Sieff, p. 15, 2019). Though this simplified description of a far more complex archetype is not entirely captured, its very nature is heavy. All women, specifically mothers, are believed to inherently and selflessly love their children. In a Western cultural lens, the Death Mother has been subjected to the shadows and buried in shame. This is due to the belief that it is unnatural for women to neglect, harm, kill, or pose a threat to their child(ren). Western society has decided that there is no space or place for the Death Mother in our cultural consciousness (Sieff, p. 15, 2019). Before going any further with this discussion, I would like to include a content warning here, as some of this material may be activating to some.

This article contains content on: maternal filicide, parental abuse and neglect, eating disorders, and self-harm, if any of this may be emotionally distressing to you, please do not continue further.

The Death Mother is hard to digest because no one wants to believe that a mother, of all people, could be the very one to harm their children. Yet, we must ask ourselves why we hold this notion so closely. Women are often expected to love their children selflessly and entirely; sacrificing pieces, if not all, of themselves for their child is absolutely necessary. However, this is not as commonly expected from fathers. Now, think of a father abandoning his family compared to a mother abandoning her family. Which evokes a stronger response? What did each make you think about and feel? Why do you feel that way? It is a desired thought to imagine every mother is maternal, loves unconditionally and altruistically, is devoted, and even wants their child(ren). It is just that, though, a desire and nothing more.

Not all mothers yearn for that title for themselves - not every woman feels a maternal instinct. A mother may feel threatened by their child for any reason. For example, a mother may feel they have lost their autonomy and freedom because of their child(ren). Furthermore, an unresolved trauma from their past could project onto their child(ren), and the relationship between the child and caregiver becomes complex. The Death Mother holds an intense description, one that I assume no one would want to see themselves in. When we think about the actions of the Death Mother, perhaps we envision extreme physical aggression or the absolute disgust and resentment that the mother feels towards her child. We can quickly imagine that the harm done is overt, yet much of the damage is covert, like many relationships with complex attachment and attunement.

As discussed prior, the Death Mother carries a distinct heaviness and the weight of being outcasted from society. I will be sourcing material written by Daniela Sieff, who has a Ph.D. in Anthropology and has done immense work in the dynamics that underlie trauma and her works on the Death Mother. Daniela Sieff is one of the first scholars and trauma-based workers to approach the Death Mother with compassion and curiosity rather than judgment and fear that further villainizes this emotional dynamic. My aim, too, is to speak and meet the Death Mother with compassion, while working towards humanizing this archetype, and to not vilify those who resonate with this archetype. While doing this, I hope to shed light on the lived experiences of those harmed and traumatized by the Death Mother - the children of those carrying this archetype and its impacts in adulthood.

Holding the Death Mother in a New Light

I would like to use this space to speak about the Death Mother through a different lens. I will speak about maternal filicide, influencing personal and external factors, and utilizing the movie Lady Bird by Greta Gervig (2017) as an example of the Death mother. My intent here is to highlight that the nature of the Death Mother is diverse, carries range, and is not always presented in the same way.

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Before we begin, I must also note that anyone can have this archetype within themselves. In much of the description of this archetype, there is prominence surrounding the biological ties between mother and child. While this can be important, it is not necessary in order for this archetype to be applicable; just as I mentioned before, anyone can hold archetypes. What is essential in the dynamic of this archetype is the relationship between child and caregiver, biological ties or none.

The Death Mother, carrying the image of extreme harm, may cause you to think of people you know capable of such malice. Some examples you may have considered are cases of maternal filicide, defined as a mother who kills her child(ren) (Friedman & Resnick, 2007). If you are familiar with criminal psychology, you probably know Andrea Yates. Andrea Yates was a mother residing in Houston, Texas, with her five children and husband. In 2001, Yates drowned all five of her children in a bathtub. She was found to be suffering from psychosis and schizoaffective disorder (Resnick, 2007). Other cases of maternal filicide include Diane Downs, a mother who shot and killed her daughter and attempted to murder her other two children, as well as Susan Smith, who locked her two young sleeping sons in their family vehicle before pushing the vehicle into the lake where they drowned (Sher & Braswell, 2010).

In a substantial amount of maternal filicide cases, the mother has a severe mental illness. However, it is not because of mental illness alone that motivates a mother to kill her child. Along with mental illness, many of these mothers also struggle with isolation due to being their child’s primary caregiver (Oberman, 2003). Outside of being a mother, women are leading their own lives and facing their battles, and they are to be seen and valued for themselves - not just for being a mother. Women who are mothers no longer only have themselves to be responsible for; now, they have a whole other being dependent on them. A part of humanizing the Death Mother is also understanding that there is a real, living, and feeling woman underneath. This is not me justifying maternal filicide or any of the harm from someone who holds the Death Mother archetype. Rather this is me speaking on something I believe to be crucial in this discussion. Mothers, along with all forms of caregivers, no longer only have themselves to think about, nurture, or provide for. Many caregivers lose hours upon hours of sleep and are so focused on caring for their children that they neglect themselves. Many struggle to form attachment and attunement with their child for a wide array of reasons such as mental illness, addiction, and working consecutive shifts in order to provide

for their child - these are just some of the many factors that negatively impact caregivers’ mental, emotional, and physical well-being. Those impacts can be felt further by their child.

The Death Mother has a hostile force attached to it, and maternal hostility can develop in numerous ways, just as it is expressed in numerous ways. A woman can see a certain vulnerability and innocence in her child that reflects unwanted parts of self. If a woman grew up in an unloving home or was unwanted, this feeling could be internalized and projected onto her child. If a woman without other support cannot care for her child, then the child may be neglected and pose developmental harm. It is often believed that a mother’s hostility is rooted in their psyche, that they are at the core of what is wrong (Sieff, p. 18, 2019). External factors can influence and affect a mother’s relationship with her child, such as her physical, cultural, economic, and relational environment (Sieff, p. 18, 2019).

Suppose a woman does not have relational support from a spouse, family, friends, or community resources, and other means of support. In that case, she will become isolated in caregiving while also trying to provide all necessities. Living in low-income neighborhoods, near toxic facilities, or in an economy recovering from a natural disaster can affect how a mother and child attach and attune with one another. In some cultures and religions, bearing a child before marriage is considered shameful and dishonourable, which are notions the child will be affected by and can leave the mother to make dire decisions. Some mothers are unable or unfit to care for a child, whether emotionally, financially, or because they are struggling with mental illness; if an unfit mother raises a child, those effects, too, will be impactful to the child. What I am illustrating here is that there are copious factors that impact the relationship between a mother and their child and all of these factors have the potential to be significant. When you consider these factors, along with the uniqueness of experience, you can grow a more nuanced understanding of the Death Mother.

When I first watched Lady Bird (2017), I was quickly fascinated by the mother’s psyche and her relationship with her daughter. If you have seen this movie, I am sure you very quickly noted the mercurial and volatile nature surrounding Lady Bird and her mother. The movie starts with the mother and daughter speaking, and what seems like a simple, steady conversation quickly turns into one with judgment, criticism, and tension.

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Then, of course, Lady Bird decides the best thing to do is jump out of the moving vehicle to escape the argument and her mother, resulting in a broken arm. During the movie, Lady Bird sometimes criticizes her mother, expressing her frustration and dismay. However, if someone voices their views, such as Lady Bird’s first love interest calling her mother crazy, she feels she needs to defend her mother and her love for her. Some scenes depict the love and care in Lady Bird’s and her mother’s relationship, such as after Lady Bird’s first sexual experiences not going as hoped. Her mother picks her up and can see that she is visibly upset, brings her in for a warm embrace, assures her it will be okay and offers to go and do their favourite activity together. As an audience we see these warm, genuine moments, then the very next scene we are once again confronted with the volatility and cruel dynamics of their relationship.

Marion, Lady Bird’s mother, is seen in the movie expressing compassion and being gentle with others. This contrasts how we see Marion often interact with Lady Bird, especially their interactions when they are alone. Marion makes Lady Bird responsible for her emotions and intends to make Lady Bird feel responsible for her father’s emotions. Marion does this covertly; we do not witness any physical violence, force, or aggression, but it is done through psychological and emotional abuse, often motivated by Marion feeling as though everything is a burden for her to carry, even her daughter. Marion attempts to instill guilt, blame, and shame in Lady Bird, much of which is done through emotional manipulation. Toward the movie’s end, we see Marion use the silent treatment against Lady Bird. If you have ever been given the silent treatment, we can agree on how painful and frustrating this passive-aggressive action is. I will also say this: using the silent treatment as punishment is abuse. Lady Bird was not just given the silent treatment; rather, she ceased to exist in her mother’s eyes and life. Her mother would not speak or listen to her; she simply moved and existed as if Lady Bird was no longer there. Lady Bird essentially became invisible. This went to the extent of Marion not wishing or celebrat

ing Lady Bird’s birthday, nor celebrating any monumental moments such as Lady Bird getting her driver’s license, being accepted into college, or even just being proud of her balancing two jobs. Perhaps, one of the most heart-wrenching scenes shows Lady Bird begging for her mother to talk to her and just to see her, all while exclaiming that she knows how bad of a person she is.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you. I appreciate everything you’ve done for me, I’m ungrateful and I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry I wanted more. Just, please, talk to me… I know, I know I’m so bad.”

- Lady Bird (2017) Greta Gervig (Lady Bird to Marion)

In the movie, Marion briefly mentions that her mother was an abusive alcoholic when Lady Bird asks her if she ever wishes her own mother hadn’t gotten angry in response to something mundane. Though only mentioned in one short response, it is a critical factor. If a mother has unresolved trauma, it can inhibit her ability and capacity to respond sensitively to her child. Further, the unresolved trauma may distort the mother’s perceptions and expectations of her child. This may compromise the development of secure attachment, thus continuing the transmission of intergenerational trauma (Iyengar, et al., 2014). The concept of intergenerational trauma recognizes that exposure to traumatic events and adverse experiences impacts individuals to such a great extent that this trauma is transmitted to future generations (Yehuda & Lehrner, 2018). If this is something you are now learning, I encourage you to read further about this topic and utilize Indigenous teachings.

We all carry our life experiences with us; arguably, our life experiences shape us. Caregivers ultimately learn how to parent through how they were parented. It is common for individuals who grew up in a house described as abusive or neglectful to choose to and promise to do right by their own children, ensuring they do not have a childhood like theirs. This is an honourable and commendable thing to do. It takes courage and bravery to confront the fear of having a child and the looming doubt that maybe, you, too, will harm your child. No parent is perfect, just as no person is. In one way or another, as a parent, you will harm your child, but it is about how you are there for them after and how you make amends. Even if the intent is not to inflict harm, it does not mean harm was not inflicted. It is important to be aware of this in all relationships and correspondence, not just in mother-child relationships.

The Impact of the Death Mother

(Content warning: I will be speaking about the impacts of trauma, which includes content about eating disorders and self-harm)

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In an interview (2009) conducted by Daniela Sieff with Maon Woodman, a depth psychologist who has done proud work in understanding the inner world of unconscious mind and body, Sieff asks Woodman to clarify the psychological impacts of the Death Mother. Specifically, Sieff asks Marion Woodman to elaborate on what it means to internalize the Death Mother and to have it imprinted onto our physical self. Marion Woodman replies:

“If, while growing up, we sensed that we were unacceptable to our parents, if we were not wanted, or if we intuited that we threatened our parents, then our nervous system will have become hyper-vigilant. Our cells will have been imprinted with a profound fear of abandonment; consequently, our body will numb out when we feel threatened. As soon as we realize that we no longer please somebody, we freeze; we are thrown back into our belief that we are unlovable, which activates our ever-present but unconscious, terror of annihilation. In such moments the autonomic nervous system says “NO,” and the ego withdraws. I call this being catapulted into “possum mentality”; as soon as we sense a whiff of rejection, we are paralyzed with fear, close down, and stay absolutely still to survive. Eventually, that possum becomes a permanent feature in our body-psyche.Life is experienced as a minefield in which we are knocked down by explosions that are inaudible to others. If unconscious hostility exists in the environment, the inner body, acting autonomously, retreats and falls over “dead.” At the same time we may develop defense mechanisms that manifest in an armor of fat, oedema, vomiting, anything to keep poison out. Ultimately, our body may turn against itself as it does with cancer or auto-immune diseases. [The] Death Mother has been incorporated into the fabric of our cells,” (Sieff, pp. 178-179, 2009).

This direct excerpt speaks to the psychological harm created by the Death Mother. Instead of the body being a resource, it becomes a defense weapon. Seen through physical reactions and defense, such as vomiting or weight gain (along with loss), as well as self-harm and self-destructive tendencies may be present in the child of a caregiver with the Death Mother archetype. What I have learned from my research, reading scholarly articles, and speaking to those who understand this archetype personally is that much of physical responses to this form of trauma and harm is that control and power are important.

The Death Mother is a penetratively corrosive force that creates a daunting and powerless voice that can be heard well into adulthood. The impacts of the Death Mother are felt in the deepest sense of self. Many have to learn to self-regulate by themselves; chances are they never learned to regulate healthily and safely emotionally. This is where eating disorders such as anorexia and bulimia may develop, along with self-harm such as self-mutilation via cutting, burning, or skin picking. These are all coping mechanisms that form as a result of overwhelming emotions and experiences. These behaviours can act as a sense of control and power and make someone feel numb, which, at times, feels better than being in the present.

The impacts of the Death Mother manifest in different ways. For some, the internalization of the archetype becomes a direct

attack on the self. You then become your own Death Mother and perpetuate this harm further against yourself. Or, you may externalize it and instead project your experiences on others. This could mean becoming inappropriately aggressive, taking dangerous risks, or substance abuse/misuse, among others. The ways that individuals cope with the harm inflicted by the Death Mother, or any form of trauma endured, is not to be judged, stereotyped, or unwelcomed. We all cope in different ways, and I am not here to say that there is a wrong way to do so because I get it. You do what you must to feel a sense of security in your immediate environment and body; I think that is a sentiment many more of us know to be true than we think. It is about holding compassion for what we do not understand, especially if we have not experienced it.

Conclusion

The Death Mother is a powerful force, one that is far more common than we know. This force has been villainized and rejected in Western society due to the hostile nature of the Death Mother. Though, when we reject and dehumanize this very true and very real force, we perpetuate further harm to the individuals that hold this archetype within and to those who have been harmed and traumatized by this force. If we continue to deny the existence of the Death Mother, we are doing a disservice to many. Recognizing the background of the Death Mother and the possible factors that lead to this very force being created in someone, we must remember to hold compassion for their lived experiences. While we hold this compassion, we can also recognize and know that the harm and trauma they caused was not okay, nor is it ever justifiable. These two things can be true at once.

To bring this archetype into the conscious, we must first allow this force to take up space and accept it for what it is - no matter how uncomfortable it may be. We cannot say it is unnatural for women to kill or pose a threat to their child psychologically, emotionally, mentally, or physically just because they are the child’s mother. Humans are capable of many things, and it is faulty of us to believe that some humans are incapable of such things just because of their identity and/or familial ties to a child. If you read this article and thought of where you’ve seen the Death Mother, whether it has been in the media or maybe in your own life, all I hope is that maybe you have learned something new. Something new about this archetype, yourself, or others.

References Friedman, S. H., & Resnick, P. J. (2007). Child murder by mothers: patterns and prevention. World Psychiatry, 6(3), 137–141. Retrieved February 14, 2023, from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/ PMC2174580/.

Iyengar, U., Kim, S., Martinez, S., Fonagy, P., & Strathearn, L. (2014). Unresolved trauma in mothers: Intergenerational effects and the role of Reorganization. Frontiers in Psychology, 5. https://doi. org/10.3389/fpsyg.2014.00966

Resnick, P. J. (2007). The Andrea Yates Case: Insanity on Trial . Cleveland State Law Review, 55(2). Retrieved February 14, 2023, from https://engagedscholarship.csuohio.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?referer=&httpsredir=1&article=1174&context=clevstlrev.

Sher, L., & Braswell, K. (2010, May 11). Most Infamous Alleged Mommy Murderers in History. ABC News. Retrieved February 14, 2023, from https://abcnews.go.com/2020/infamous-cases-moms-allegedly-murder-kids/story?id=10588541

Sieff, D. F. (2019). The Death Mother as Nature’s Shadow: Infanticide, Abandonment, and the Collective Unconscious. A Quarterly Journal of Jungian Thought, 15, 18. https://doi.org/10.1080/00332925.2019 .1564513

Sieff, D. F. (2009). The Psychology of Violence. A Journal of Archetype and Culture, 178–179. Retrieved February 14, 2023, from https://danielasieff.com/media-type/writing/confronting-death-mother-an-interview-with-marion-woodman/.

Yehuda, R., & Lehrner, A. (2018). Intergenerational transmission of trauma effects: Putative role of epigenetic mechanisms. World Psychiatry, 17(3), 243–257. https://doi.org/10.1002/wps.20568

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This year, March 12th marks the date of one of the mosttalked-about events in pop culture media. For one Sunday every twelve months, most people who enjoy watching movies sit in front of their TVs to watch the legendary award ceremony: the Oscars. We all love movies so much that we dedicate an entire evening to commemorating those that stood out. A celebration of the best of the best, the Oscars is a highlight reel of cinematic innovation, acting expertise, and editing talent.

While the Oscars spotlight Hollywood’s finest, the ceremony itself is an event. Multiple guests are invited to play live music, famous actors and actresses present the trophy to the winners, and the crowd is an ocean of celebrities and media personalities wearing the most expensive clothes. However, such an extravagant event also leaves lots of room for some very unexpected occurrences. A ballroom full of the biggest people in pop culture naturally starts to breed some moments that turn heads into confusion or utter shock. Loads of shocking instances have been witnessed in previous years. In celebration of the Academy Awards this March 12th, here are some of the weirdest things that have happened at the Oscars:

1. “Boxer” meets boxer

Sylvester Stallone is an actor with a lengthy history with the Academy Awards. As a guest or even as a nominee for best actor, the Italian Stallion has been seen multiple times during the Oscars since the 70s. Although he is incredibly well known for his roles in the Rambo (1982-2019) series and more recently for his work on the Expendables (2010-2023), Sly Stallone is best known for his work in the Rocky series. Even today, when the cameras shine on him, the images of him fighting Apollo Creed, Ivan Dragon, and Mr. T come to mind. However, we must remember that the actor is not a professional boxer. This makes for an interesting moment at the 1977 Oscar Academy Awards, where he was surprised on stage while presenting a trophy by the one and only Muhammad Ali (Stone, 2016). As the crowd cheered for these two icons of the sports, Stallone had an amusingly confused face.

Unsure of what to do, he started to jokingly spar with the heavyweight legend. What was so great and fun about the moment was precisely that once he came face to face with one of the best boxers of all time, Stallone received a strong reminder that Rocky was just a movie. Perhaps in an alternate universe, Stallone might have been able to stand toe to toe with Ali, though in our case, he just looked happy, confused, and a little humbled.

2. The birthday suit

The annual ceremony is famous for people coming in with their most carefully picked dress or suit. Those attending the Oscars often ensure they are as nicely dressed as possible. Whether it’s a custom-made suit designed by Ralph Lauren himself, or even a dress made of beef, as Lady Gaga wore at the MTV Awards, fashion is of the utmost importance. There was a time, however, when someone decided to do the exact opposite by wearing nothing. One of the most notable events of 1974’s cinematic history saw a streaker run behind Oscars host David Niven, butt naked (Schulman, 2023). Speechless and smiling out of embarrassment and confusion, the host waited for security to take control of the situation after the man wearing his birthday suit “graced” the audience with his light jog across the stage. Though, what was perhaps more shocking than the streaking itself was that a mustache like the one he had was once socially acceptable.

3. Marlon Brando refuses the Oscar

The Godfather is seen as one of the best movies of the 1970s. The film was revolutionary for the crime and drama genres, partly due to the strong acting performances by all members of the cast. The leading actor, Marlon Brando, shone as the star of the romanticized look into the life of the Italian mafia.

Protesting the on-screen representation of indigenous actors and characters, the biggest prize in cinema was rejected, which was unheard of until this point (Walsh, 2022). This sparked immense controversy, with lots of the blame and criticism being wrongly thrown at Little-

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feather. However, the Oscars has since formally apologized to the indigenous actress for the treatment from this incident (Benchetrit, 2022). This moment has since become a highlight of the career of the at-thetime resurging Marlon Brando.

4. The La La Land confusion

All of our examples have come from the 1970s. Most of the weird moments at the Oscars have resulted from awkward interactions or guests trying to intervene in one of TV’s most-watched evenings. In some cases, however, the moment comes from a mistake made directly by the people running the show. A famous example of this is the biggest highlight of the 2017 Academy Awards. The musical La La Land (2016) received the prestigious award of the best picture, to the joy of director Damien Chazelle and the entire movie’s cast. In one of the most shocking moments in Oscars history, as the show ended, Jordan Horowitz walked onto the stage and announced that the wrong envelope was presented and that the movie Moonlight (2016) was the actual winner (Young, 2017). Journalists and guests were baffled at the last-minute error, and

social media went crazy. The embarrassment from the production team was palpable and what was supposed to be a night of celebration turned into a mess of people on TV not really knowing what was happening.

5. The Slap

We couldn’t end the list without talking about one of the most viral moments of last year. This is a clip that, without a doubt, has been since countless times by anyone with a device connected to the internet. After making a joke about Jada Pinkett Smith, Chris Rock was on the receiving end of a shockingly hard and swift right-handed slap (Khomami, 2022). Everyone, including Chris Rock, was left speechless at the fact that Will Smith had just assaulted someone shortly before winning an Oscar. People were initially unsure whether it was an intentional bit from Will Smith. Still, it became abundantly clear that it was entirely serious when he started yelling expletives at the ceremony’s host. A slap so crisp it was heard worldwide, becoming one of the hottest meme trends of the year and skyrocketing to the top of the YouTube trends list (Khomami, 2022). It seemed that for about a week, the action shot was being played everywhere you looked. Will Smith has since apologized for his actions , but his picture-perfect open-palmed right hook is now an automatic talking point when anyone brings up the Oscars (Lee, 2022).

The Academy Awards is one of television’s most viewed events every year. Months and months are dedicated to ensuring the show goes as smoothly as possible. Hosts are carefully chosen, scripts are rehearsed and reviewed countless times, and the guest list is methodically curated. All of this is to try to make the ceremony incident-proof, though some things get through the cracks. As a result, these unexpected moments of chaos have become some of the biggest highlights of the Oscars’ history. The protest from Marlon Brando and the slap from Will Smith are only examples of how a couple of seconds in front of the cinematic community can become so ingrained in pop culture history. These days, capturing the slightest slip-up and posting it on social media has almost become just as popular as watching the awards themselves. Though the producers will keep trying to prevent unexpected instances from happening, the audience will always remember those weird moments from the Oscars.

References

Benchetrit, Jenna. (2022). Sacheen Littlefeather receives apology at Academy event 49 years after Marlon Brando’s Oscars protest. CBC News. Retrieved February 9, 2023 from https://www.cbc. ca/news/entertainment/evening-with-sacheen-littlefeather-oscars-1.6586887.

Khomami, Nadia. (2022). Video of Will Smith slapping Chris Rock at Oscars tops YouTube chart. The Guardian. Retrieved February 10, 2023 from https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2022/dec/01/video-of-will-smith-slapping-chris-rock-at-oscars-tops-youtube-chart-guardian.

Lee, Benjamin. (2022). Will Smith posts emotional apology for the slap: ‘I am deeply remorseful’. The Guardian. Retrieved February 20, 2023 from https://www.theguardian.com/film/2022/ jul/29/will-smith-slap-apology-video.

Schulman, Michael. (2023). What Became of the Oscar Streaker?. The New Yorker. Retrieved February 10, 2023, from https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2023/02/06/what-became-ofthe-oscar-streaker.

Stone, Natalie. (2016). Watch Muhammad Ali and Sylvester Stallone Present at the 1977 Oscars. The Hollywood Reporter. Retrieved February 9, 2023 from https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/ news/general-news/watch-muhammad-ali-sylvester-stallone-899674/.

Young, Ian. (2017). Oscars 2017: How did the La La Land/Moonlight mix-up happen?. BBC. Retrieved February 10, 2023, from https://www.bbc.com/news/entertainment-arts-39097183.

Walsh, Savannah. (2022). The Academy Apologizes to Sacheen Littlefeather, Who Refused Marlon Brando’s 1973 Oscar. Vanity Fair. Retrieved February 9, 2023 from https://www.vanityfair.com/ hollywood/2022/08/the-academy-apologizes-to-sacheen-littlefeather-who-refused-marlon-brandos-1973-oscar.

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Through a portside window on the stern, he watched as hundreds of metal fragments from the bow of his ship sparkled and glistened in the sun against cold space; it might have been beautiful, but he wasn’t celebrating; the bodies of his crewman spun and whirled farther out, tangled up in the web from the onboard computer’s micro-optic cables.

His magnetic boots clanked toward the Geronimo escape tube hatch near the end of the passageway, Clank! Clank! Clank! a red light on the tube hatch control panel blinked the word ‘disabled’.

His body shook, collapsed against the grey tube hatch and onto the metallic floor, finally scared, finally lonely, and afraid to die alone, he watched as grey smoke slowly crept down the corridor toward him.

He pulled a black sphere from his pocket, about the size of a marble, placed it on the checker-plated floor in front of him; leaning his back against the escape hatch, he stared into the sphere as faint light began to glow from its smooth surface; a gift for his nephew, but now he needed it.

Light flooded around the black marble and a floppy eared holo-puppy resolved, jumping, turning, and smiling at him.

He thought about his nephew as the dog whirled around, rolling onto its back, barking playfully; a teardrop fell across his quivering smile, and he forced himself to speak the words, ‘good boy.’

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Just Within

Look into my eyes

The true river to my soul And twin to my state of mind

Reflected back at you I am Like an open book My story freely flowing

In the most unique of ways I let myself be known Expressing what my voice cannot

I become a mirror of yourself

A soul who speaks for you Through a kaleidoscope of emotions

L’esprit en moi

Regarde-moi dans les yeux

Le vrai fleuve de mon âme Et jumeau à mon état d’esprit

Refléter je suis à toi Comme un livre ouvert Mon histoire est sans fin

D’une manière unique Je me fais connaitre En exprimant ce que ma voix ne peut pas

Je deviens un miroir de toi-même Une âme qui parle pour toi À travers un kaléidoscope d’émotions

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This article contains content with physical violence if any of this may be emotionally distressing to you, please do not continue further.

“You kissed a boy, didn’t you, Dante?” exclaimed Sarah. Dante turned from walking back to his home and looked at Sarah with shocked surprise at being found out. Having a piggish nose and black eyes, Sarah considered Dante to be an ugly boy. Weirdly, for a boy, he had a massive mane of glossy blonde hair, which simultaneously made him look wild yet effeminate. His style added to the confusion; Dante always wore a white collar shirt and black tie under a vivid red jacket. He had earrings that looked bizarre to Sarah, and he wore black pants and sparkling red sneakers alongside that. “Don’t try and hide it!” continued Sarah. “I saw you. I saw you with that other blonde boy in the park. You thought you wouldn’t be noticed because you look like a girl, but I did!”

Suddenly Dante’s expression and composition changed. He started smiling and replied in a commanding tone, “Yeah, I snogged the boy, snogged his face off. What about it?” in that bizarre, unplaceable English accent. Sarah glared at Dante; he was trying to play this off cool. “It’s wrong. It’s unnatural!” she shouted in his face.

Dante, swagger unbroken, proclaimed, “I’m queer.” He brushed or rather pulled his hair. “In more ways than one, I’m not afraid.” Then, grinning, he turned around and began to walk back home, singing, “I kissed a boy, and I liked it. I hope my girlfriend won’t mind.”

Sarah gritted her teeth. She would relish getting one over Dante. It was so easy getting one over people, maybe even two or three. She walked until Dante was far enough away, and then she started following him. She had nothing to do when she returned home, and besides, she wanted to follow Dante. Sarah wanted to see what he was doing, see what he was up to, and see if she could discover any dirt on him. They wandered through a few dismal blocks and industrialized areas, Sarah always too far behind Dante for him to notice that she was following him until they came to an apartment complex. She looked the building up and down, then up again, and wondered how a kid like Dante could go to the same school as hers.

Then, from her combination of the hiding spot and distance, Sarah abruptly perceived Dante drop on all fours, run across the sidewalk towards a tree, and begin sniffing the dirty base of the tree covered with bits of trash. How bizarre!? Sarah knew that Dante had his ‘spells’ or at least heard that he had some ‘spasms’ of some kind, yet she had never witnessed them. She was always somewhere else when they supposedly happened.

Now here it was, and she was seeing it. Dante seemed to shuffle and ruffle around the tree for a few more moments, always walking on his hands and feet. Then suddenly, he rushed to chase after a squirrel until it dashed up a tree where Dante hopped up and down, trying to get it. Sarah could not contain herself and laughed. She grinned and grew bold. She walked the distance between her and Dante until she was on the lawn of his apartment building. Dante stopped trying to hop the tree and started scratching himself flexibly with his sneaker. He halted once he noticed Sarah. Sarah stopped walking, suddenly thinking this might not have been a good idea. Now Dante became very alien and animalistic to Sarah. This silent, motionless pause happened only for a second. Then Dante emitted a sound. It startled Sarah and made her cringe. The sound was exactly like a dog’s woof. Dante woofed again, then one more time, drawing nearer to Sarah in a friendly manner. Sarah grinned again and allowed Dante to come close. She held out her hand and laughed when Dante licked it, then petted his hair and face. Dante seemed to like it, woofing and panting happily.

Sarah’s grin turned more callous then. What a strange mental defect! The boy was under the delusion that he was a dog, and what a good job he was doing keeping up the illusion. This was the dirt she could get one up on him for. Dante was a pathetic creature: a poor, mentally insane, ugly, queer boy. She let Dante scamper off across the grounds. Satisfied by the easy acquiring of dirt on Dante, Sarah headed out towards her own house. Since her house was away from Dante’s apartment, she took the bus back. Sarah didn’t take the bus much because she didn’t like it, yet it was the only choice. She didn’t like riding the bus once she felt discomfort at seeing the boy whom Dante kissed getting on the same bus.

This other blonde boy had a similar style to Dante, though he was handsome and, as well, freckled. His hair was in a short military cut instead of Dante’s, and he had no weird earrings; however, the boy outpaced Dante’s strange style by wearing a gray kid-size trench coat over his white shirt and red necktie. Sarah didn’t know him. He must have gone to a different school. Sarah’s discomfort at seeing this boy get on the bus only grew when the boy decided to sit right next to her. He plopped right down next to her and popped out the giant lollipop in his mouth to say, “Best not be spying on Dante, love,” in a similar English accent as Dante’s, yet not quite the same.

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Sarah’s eyes widened. “You followed me!” she cried loudly. Then, speaking more softly so the other bus passengers wouldn’t look at them, she spat, “How dare you follow me!” The boy shrugged, “You followed him. Take my advice. Don’t spy on Dante. He’s a dangerous kid.” Then he jabbed the giant lollipop back into his mouth simultaneously as his other hand pressed the stop button where, perfectly on time, the bus driver stopped the bus and the boy left. Sarah was even more befuddled by this, yet even more than that, she was angered by the audaciousness of this boy who kissed Dante.

During the next few days in school, Dante seemed to stay away from Sarah. The few times she did see him, he appeared dreadfully distressed to be in her presence. Every now and then, he would cast a fretful glance at her, a blink-and-you’llmiss-it look at her with fear and wariness in his eyes. How she loved it! How wonderful that she could dangle this little secret over him. Sarah could do anything with the information; thus, she felt like she could do anything to Dante. She knew the score, and, more significantly than that, Dante knew the score too. He knew that she knew the secret, and that was fantastic. She loved the fear and the threat that she could invoke in him; what was perfect was he couldn’t do anything about it. He was utterly helpless because of the position he was in.

Sarah didn’t care that she did not see him often anymore because when she did spot him, the way he acted looked even greater. After all, it was rare. One day on the weekend, after this went on for a couple of weeks, Sarah decided to meet Dante at his apartment complex to confront him with what she knew and see how he handled it. So she again took the bus and began walking to his apartment. When she reached the building, it was early evening. The apartment complex was a deserted, bare part of the city as ever, like a ghost town. She wandered past an alley in her journey to the apartment complex yet immediately retraced her steps. She did so because she spotted Dante resting on one of the bins in that alleyway.

She walked back and peeked to see what happened next. Dante was lying on a bin and, parallel to him, was a tall, older man, disheveled, unhappy, and unpleasant looking. The man was walking through the alley with a bag in his hand. The scene was picturesque in its grime. Sarah watched this moving picture for a moment. Dante smiled friendly-like at the unhappy-looking man. In response, the unhappy man gave Dante the middle finger, the man’s face contorting into a quiet, smug chortle. Dante’s look and smile turned from friendly to vicious and unhinged in a second. He leaped off the bins, and Dante bit off the man’s finger. The man croaked in stunned surprise at the hideous abrupt pain that surged in him.

Dante landed on the ground. He chewed the finger before the man, then gulped it down slightly exaggeratedly. The man clucked in stark cowardice. Dante dashed upon him before the man could do anything else. Dante’s legs were like springs, and he attached himself to the man, biting and wolfing down the rest of the man’s arm. Meanwhile, Sarah swiveled her head back and clung to the building’s wall. She did this faster than anything else she had ever done before. She could hear her breath heaving out heavily, her heart threatening to vomit out of her and nearly doing so. Then Sarah began hearing

the man’s groanings and screams. Sarah tightened. Some part of her mustered strength, and she fled. She rushed through the neighborhoods and streets until she could stop running. She halted deadstop in a park.

She panted. “Oh, my gosh” She thought. “What is Dante!?” The Police! The police had to be warned. She grabbed her phone out of her pocket. She dialed. Sarah heard someone say over her shoulder, “I wouldn’t do that if I were you now, love.”

She heard this just as the person on the other end of the phone asked, “9-1-1, what is your emergency?” Without warning, the boy swiped the phone out of Sarah’s hand. Sarah turned around and saw the boy with the lollipop holding her phone.

The boy replied to the 9-1-1 operator, “Prank call! Ha! Ha!” and turned the call off just as Sarah pounced on him. He jumped out of the way, keeping the phone away from her. Sarah punched him in the face. The scuffle stopped abruptly once Sarah perceived the boy still smiling after the punch. He raised his eyebrows just as blood trickled down from his nose. This didn’t calm Sarah, yet it made her lower her fists and look at the boy with the lollipop still in his mouth.

“I told you not to spy on Dante,” said the boy.

“What was that!?” exclaimed Sarah.

“He ain’t just queer. He ain’t even human.”

“You kissed that?!”

“And I liked it!”

The boy changed his smile. “Don’t worry, love. I’m human, be sure of that, and you’re in a pickle, be sure of that too. You know Dante’s Secret. The thing is - - - he doesn’t know that you know - - - but I do.”

The full ramifications of the boy’s statement descended upon Sarah.

“Want to call him right now?” asked the boy, thumb moving around the phone held in the air.

“No!” screamed Sarah. She leaped to the phone, yet the attack soon became a begging clawing.

“No! Don’t! Please! I don’t want to be eaten!”

“Good. You realize the position you’re in.”

The boy lowered his hand and offered the phone back to Sarah.

Sarah snatched it back.

“I was never going to call Dante.”

Sarah looked at him.

“I’m still human,” winked the boy. “But you gotta understand. You can’t tell anyone about this, nor can you give any hint to Dante that you know this. If you’re wise, you won’t try and see me again. Can you do that?”

What could Sarah do but nod?

The boy suddenly made a skeptical face, then smiled his usual grin again. “Get something to keep the monsters in the dark away. It might help you sleep at night.” The boy patted Sarah on the shoulder and walked away. Sarah never saw him again.

Sarah now stays away from Dante at school and is incredibly distressed when she is in his presence. As is Dante with her. But I want to ask you, reader, can Sarah keep it up? Can Sarah never let out a word? Can she never give out a hint that she knows something of Dante’s brutal nature? Can Sarah live a long life, constantly hoping every night that the monsters don’t eat her?

Can she, Dear Reader?

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