Cover Feature
When they’re worried about something, tell them about some really big adult worries to put their problems into perspectiveX If they wear clothes you don’t like, ban them from leaving the house When you don’t like their friends, tell them what’s wrong with them Leave the wifi on at night and let them take their phone to bed with them Finish their day with a bit of a grumble about everything they haven’t done that day
And, if you really want to mess them up, then tell them you can’t wait until they’re old enough to leave home. Any of these sound familiar? It’s quite a list, but by no means exhaustive. I’ve probably done all these things, except perhaps the last one. Parenting a teenager really can bring out the very worst in us. Under pressure, we all mess up. But that’s okay because parenting is
From Daughter to Woman
a process, so we get lots of chances to get it right, in a Groundhog Day kind of way. Teenagers are great people and you can have a terrific time parenting one! It can be a fulfilling time of increasing closeness, even as they move away. Teenagers are exciting, thought-provoking and vulnerable. They are at a wonderfully interesting stage of self-exploration and discovery, and I have an optimistic view of parents’ and teachers’ ability to guide them through this phase of their lives. These fickle and often exasperating young people really can transform into the visionaries and creators of the future. We are privileged to play a part in setting them on their path into that future. Kids’ behaviour usually tells us when they need a different kind of parenting from us. That’s when we need to call on outside support. Whether you find your support or guidance from other parents, books or the internet, parenting a teen is not a job to be done alone. Not if you’re going to do it well. Which you can. Kim McCabe is the author of ‘From Daughter to Woman, parenting girls safely through their teens’ published by Robinson. She is founder and director of Rites for Girls which, since 2011, has offered yearlong Girls Journeying Together groups, support for mothers and training for women wanting to support girls. Kim's vision is that every girl grows up expecting guidance as she matures and knowing that there’s a Girls Journeying Together group near to where she lives. www.ritesforgirls.com/book www.facebook.com/RitesForGirls www.facebook.com/fromdaughtertowoman www.instagram.com/ritesforgirls