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Edition 92

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Friday, November 23, 2012

GARDENER’S QUESTION TIME By DONNA GEE THE relieved mother of a 10-year-old schoolboy involved in a new child abduction scare now believes the child’s assailant had no malicious intent. The middle-aged Spaniard accosted the British boy and his 11year-old friend as they were playing in the barbecue area of Parque Cunado in Benijofar. The man – who had been driving a brown Mercedes – approached them, saying he wanted to take them to the local Town Hall. When he made a grab at one of the boys, they understandably ran to the safety of their nearby homes. The incident sparked a new wave of panic among parents who have been on constant alert since the attempted kidnap of an n eight-year-old British girl in Entre Naranjos three weeks ago. She fought the

Latest ‘abduction bid’ was just a misunderstanding Ryanair in the dock over justice block

Moroccan man off – but community leaders later warned that the would-be abductor may well try again in any area. Amid fears that the demon had struck again, this time in Benijofar, the suspect was quickly apprehended. The man proved to be a council contract gardener and the Town Hall is dealing with the matter accordingly. Meanwhile, the boy’s mother told The Courier on Wednesday: "From what I now gather, the man thought the boys were doing damage and wanted to stop them, He just went about it in completely the wrong manner.’’

RYANAIR has finally met its match in the Spanish Courts – and swallowed a fine for knowingly obstructing the justice system. Michael O’Leary’s notorious budget airline must pay 600 euros, plus court costs, for knowingly obstructing the functioning of the Spanish justice system. The penalty imposed by Commercial Court No 1 in Valencia is the maximum in a case of this nature. Ryanair was summoned to the same court last September, and condemned to pay a fine of 930 euros to a minor who was denied access to a flight between Valencia and Sevilla for failing to carry his Spanish Identification Card (DNI).

By HEIDI WARDMAN The incident happened on August 15, and it was ruled that Ryanair’s actions were in breach of Spanish Aviation Law, which states that children under the age of 14 who are accompanied by their parents, “do not have to carry any identification.” The sentence was dealt without the option to appeal, but no representative from Ryanair appeared at the hearing on this occasion,

opting to “abstain from comment”. A month later, the company filed to the courts for an annulment of proceedings and withdrawal of the penalty held against them, on the grounds that it had not received notification of the offence in Ireland, which they considered to be only place where it could be legally accepted. Employees at the Ryanair

enquiry desk operating within Valencia Airport had also refused to accept the court summons, presumably under orders from their superiors. According to the Consumers Union, current legislation states that such legal routes of communication can be exercised in the place where the company or individual normally carry out their professional activity. It also states that such commu-

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Friday, November 23, 2012

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96 692 1003 679 096 309 965 99 66 66 E-MAIL office@thecourier.es WEB www.thecourier.es HEAD OFFICE Calle Luis Canovas Martinez 1. Urb Aguas Nuevas, Torrevieja 03183, ALICANTE PHONE: 96 692 1003 Email: office@thecourier.es OPENING HOURS Mon - Fri 1030 to 1730 CONSULTANT EDITOR Donna Gee ADVERTISING SALES 966 921 003 office@thecourier.es TELESALES 966 921 003 679 096 309 Sally Los Alcazares, San Javier 618 391 491 Myra Quesada, Rojales, Torrevieja, San Miguel Tel. 618 583 765 Jean La Zenia, Playa Flamenca, Cabo Roig Tel. 618 898 034 Patrick International Rep 5 Languages Tel 685 901 265 Writers Donna Gee Sally Bengtsson Jeanette Erath Alex Trelinski Dave Silver Tony Mayes Heidi Wardman John McGregor

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Picture of the Week

JUNGLE DRUMS

CONEXIA – THE CULTURE OF CONVERSATION EXCHANGE By SALLY BENGTSSON SO many people struggle to learn to speak Spanish, saying things like, “I never have the opportunity to practise it” or “My mind goes blank the minute I open my mouth.” So many people struggle to learn to speak Spanish, saying things like, “I never have the opportunity to practice it,” or “My mind goes blank the minute I open my mouth.” If you live in Spain and don’t speak the language you miss out on so much of the Spanish culture. Why not take advantage of the opportunity that CONEXIA EOISJ is offering all English speakers? Conexia, which started last year, is a non-profit making association which pairs up students from the Official language school in San Javier with native English speakers, giving them both a chance to practise speaking with each other. All the people who help with the running of Conexia are volunteers. Rosa Alcaide, one of the founding members, hosts

the conversation swap in Cafe Golf every Friday evening from 6.30pm onwards. She explained that this is the ideal opportunity to make new friends, practise Spanish in an informal way while having a beer or a coffee, and learn about Spanish culture. I went along to find out more about the idea. The atmosphere was friendly and relaxed. Everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves, and not one person was in a hurry to leave at 7.30pm, many carrying on chatting for another hour or longer afterwards. Those who put their name down to participate each week will be paired up, usually two Brits with two Spaniards, and you’ll all be given a worksheet with ideas to chat about. This work-

sheet is just to get the conversation flowing, but there is a lot of flexibility, and no exams or homework. Generally if you’re weak in Spanish you’ll be paired with Spanish speakers who have a good level of English, to enable you to have a real conversation and to help each other with pronunciation and vocabulary, and vice versa. Topics may include jobs, food or holi-

Friday Sun and clouds High 20° Low 9° Chance of rain 1% Monday Cloudy High 19° Low 12° Chance of rain 25%

Tuesday Showers High 17° Low 6° Chance of rain 78%

days. Many of the participants become firm friends and meet up at other times to carry on conversing and to do other things together, such as going to the market or going or a walk along the beach. The idea is proving to be so successful that four groups are already running, two in San Javier (in Cafe Golf and the Sports Centre), one in Santiago de la Ribera (in the Aviator Sports Bar), and one in Los Narejos (in Los Arches), and more groups are set to start in the near future, in Lo Pagan, Los Alcazares, Fuente Alamo and Torre de la Horadada and other locations in the existing areas. There is also the opportunity to practise French and German. Conexia also organises

Saturday Partly cloudy High 20° Low 10° Chance of rain 4% Wednesday Partly cloudy High 16° Low 4° Chance of rain 1%

day trips and international suppers, giving everyone the opportunity to learn even more about Spanish culture and to socialise with other people who are interested in practicing languages. The next trip is to the mines in La Union. A coach, leaving on Saturday November 24th at 9am, will take you to the Mining Song Museum, the market, the Mine Park in La Union with a guide, and for those who want to have lunch out too, it will take you to Portman for lunch. Last year there were trips to Cartagena, to the wine cellars in Bullas and to the Military Base in Santiago de la Ribera. I asked Rosa if the participants tailed off after a while, and she told me that, to the contrary, the number of participants is growing all the time, so much so that there is a waiting list of Spanish people who haven’t been paired up yet. So if any of you English speakers are interested in participating why not give Rosa a ring on 649 325 064, or email her on conexiaeoisjconversationswap@gmail.com

Sunday Cloudy High 20° Low 11° Chance of rain 4% Thursday Sunny High 16° Lo 5° Chance of rain 0%


Friday, November 23, 2012

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THE HEAL DEAL

Montesinos date for evangelist who preached to four million sharing his healing gift and the work of God with the people of the Costa Càlida and Costa Blanca. He is the special guest of local Evangelist movement Outlook Espana, and his first Gospel Healing Rally will be held at 8pm tomorrow . The venue is the Rio de Vida Auditorium, Calle Benijofar, Polígono Industrial Levante 2, in Los Montesinos. A second rally will take place on Sunday at Vineyard Christian Fellowship, 20 Calle Veintiocho de Marzo, Pinoso. A Spanish translator will be on-hand at both meetings. Terry Turner, Administrator of Outlook España, says: “I have known Peter Gammons for 30 years and he has been consistently used by God as an evangelist who has brought healing to untold thousands around the globe. “Peter does not have any airs and graces and he is humble enough to consider coming to Torrevieja to minister to such small numbers. We are expecting to see great miracles of healing and salvation in this visit.”

By HEIDI WARDMAN CELEBRATED Evangelist Healer Dr Peter Gammons has taken his gift all over the world, once addressing a world-record crowd of over FOUR million people in the Phillipines. And, astonishingly, his next stop is… Los Montesinos tomorrow (Saturday)! US-based Dr Gammons, originally from Cambridgeshire, is a personal friend to royalty, politicians, celebrities and other influential figures worldwide. His biggest service in Manila was viewed by 20 million on live television. The historical event brought the city to a complete standstill, as roads were blocked by the river of people. Even the President was forced to abandon his limousine and walk over half a mile to his destination as there was no way the vehicle would get through. Other world leaders have sent their own private jets across the globe to collect Dr Gammons, one President said to have spent six hours praying and taking private counsel with him whilst in search of solutions to his nation’s problems. Dr Gammons is spending ten days

Rebollo to challenge Dolon’s PP leadership EX-COUNCILLOR Angel Rebollo has put his name forward as a candidate for the Presidency of the PP party in Torrevieja, declaring that “It is time for a change” It was only the Mayor, Eduardo Dolón, who was in the running as PP President, until Rebollo, former President of new generations of Torrevieja, stepped up to the mark. Dolon was appointed acting President in June, when the former Mayor, Pedro Hernández Mateo, was forced to step down to focus on the on-going court proceedings against him. The election for the presidency of the local PP will be held on December 12, with the deadline for submission of candidatures falling two days earlier. Rebollo claimed that he came to the decision to stand for Presidency, as he feels that the party needs a “change of leadership” as well as “important changes in the structure and operation”. He went on

to suggest that “At a time when the Government is in crisis, it requires the backing of a much stronger PP. It is not a job that can be done overnight, as things have not been managed properly within the party for many years.” One problem which he promised to address was the invalid information held within the municipal census, which currently has 2200 affiliates, many of whom are deceased or no longer living in the area so not entitled to vote. Rebollo said that many residents have already pledged their support to him, and he is positive about the outcome of the forthcoming vote. For his part, Eduardo Dolón told a local television broadcast that he was extremely pleased that the elections are being held as a demonstration of internal democracy, as he said they have “always been”.

Head to head: Eduardo Dolon and (above) Angel Rebollo


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Friday, November 23, 2012

HIT AND MYTH The Dragon’s den is so write for Kathy By HEIDI WARDMAN A TALE of myth and magic has turned into a dream come true for Kathy Rollinson after a flash of inspiration set her on a new career path. When Kathy began to write her “short dedication” to the dragon world, she had no idea that it would soon become the first in a trilogy of exciting novels. After relocating to Spain in 2008, she became involved in various creative writing groups in the area a talent which she had also enjoyed during her spare time in the UK. There was one local group, WordPlay Writers’ Forum Costa Blanca, which she found particularly “inspirational”, and it was through her involvement in the group that dreams of her first novel ‘Fallyn and the Dragons’ became a reality. The initial idea was born during an art class, where her friend had painted a unique version of a dragon. Says Kathy: “In the original painting the dragon was typically snarling, but in her interpretation the snarl looked more like a half-smile. I loved it”. She explained that she had always toiled with the notion that dragons were scary creatures, and embarked on a short story which would portray them in a new light. However as her head, and even her dreams, became so full of the main characters, Fallyn

and Solo the dragon, the piece expanded into a full-blown novel, with the original text forming the basis of chapter two. Fallyn and the Dragons, by K J Rollinson, was finally published by Writers’ Forum founder member and author, Michael Barton. By now Kathy was on a roll, and the novel soon became part of a trilogy, with the second book Fallyn in the Forbidden Land currently being edited and Fallyn and the Sea Dragons already in the making. Kathy says of her work: “I aim to write around 1000 words per day, often during the early hours of the morning.” The series is based on a group of teenagers, aged between 12 and 14, but is also appealing to adults. “I usually have a vague outline of the plot but I do allow my characters to take over and they tend to write their own dialogue,’’ she says. Her third novel modelled one character as an “evil pirate chief”, but as the plot unfolded he “emerged with a Johnny Depp personality handsome, debonair, charming” and his destiny changed drastically. Fallyn and the Dragons is now available as a paperback and ebook, from Createspace or Amazon and book shops. Kathy will also be signing books at the Book World store located within the Habaneras Commercial Centre in Torrevieja, on Saturdays November 24 and December 8 between 11am and 1pm.

Christmas in July? The entire Christian calendar is based on a miscalculation, the Pope has declared, as he claims in a new book that Jesus was born several years earlier than commonly believed. The 'mistake' was made by a sixth century monk known as Dionysius Exiguus or in English Dennis the Small, the 85year-old pontiff claims in the book 'Jesus of Nazareth: The Infancy Narratives', published on Wednesday. "The calculation of the beginning of our calendar – based on the birth of Jesus – was made by Dionysius Exiguus, who made a mistake in his calculations by several years," the Pope writes in the book, which went on sale around the world with an initial print run of a million copies. "The actual date of Jesus's birth was several years before." The assertion that the Christian calendar is based on a false premise is not new – many historians believe that Christ was born sometime between 7BC and 2BC. But the fact that doubts over one of the keystones of Christian tradition have been raised by the leader of the world's one billion Catholics is striking. Dennis the Small, who was born in Eastern Europe, is credited with being the "inventor" of the modern calendar and the concept of the Anno Domini era. He drew up the new system in part to dis-

tance it from the calendar in use at the time, which was based on the years since the reign of the Roman emperor Diocletian. The emperor had persecuted Christians, so there was good reason to expunge him from the new dating system in favour of one inspired by the birth of Christ. The monk's calendar became widely accepted in Europe after it was adopted by the Venerable Bede, the historian-monk, to date the events that he recounted in his Ecclesiastical History of the English People, which he completed in AD 731. But exactly how Dennis calculated the year of Christ's birth is not clear and the Pope's claim that he made a mistake is a view shared by many scholars. The Bible does not specify a date for the birth of Christ. The monk instead appears to have based his calculations on vague references to Jesus's age at the start of his ministry and the fact that he was baptised in the reign of the emperor Tiberius. Christ's birth date is not the only controversy raised by the Pope in his new book – he also said that contrary to the traditional Nativity scene, there were no oxen, donkeys or other animals at Jesus's birth. He also weighs in on the debate over Christ's birthplace, rejecting arguments by some scholars that he was born in Nazareth rather than Bethlehem.

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Friday, November 23, 2012

editor@thecourier.es COURIER POSTBAG: YOUR VIEWS ON OUR NEWS

It’s time to ease off, Bob SEVERAL months have passed since I last wrote to the newspapers regarding the politics in Orihuela and Orihuela Costa, my main point back in April being Mr. Houliston´s (ex Councillor for the Coast) obsessive behaviour. But I feel compelled to write again. I have read with interest every article regarding this ongoing saga and Mr. Houliston´s continued pattern of obsessive behaviour never ceases to surprise me. I know instinctively each time I read his name, or CLARO´s name for that matter, in any article, regardless of content, he will

retaliate the following week. Does he not realise that other people will recognise this pattern also? Does he not realise himself how damaging his fixation regarding his successor is? This compulsive behaviour in my opinion is quite damaging and one would think Mr. Houliston would have the credibility to stand above such things. One would think that at this time in our lives (I am around the same age as Mr. Houliston) he would be content enjoying the comfortable lifestyle we are able to have in

this country we have chosen to live instead of being under the pressure he puts himself under constantly feeling he has to prove a point. I suppose I should say with my past working experience that not everyone can be helped but I cannot help feeling that this subject is eating away at him. All the very best in your endeavours Mr. Houliston but please remember we are only on this earth once and this is not the rehearsal. MARTIN KHAN, Quesada

Don’t let a thief give you grief! PLACE:- Lidl supermarket, Almeda del Mar, Playa Flamenca, Orihuela Costa Date and Time:- November 16, 2112 at about 2pm. Occurrence;- The three people described below were seen to pick a person´s pocket before leaving the store. Description:- All believed to be Eastern European. 1) Man, 45 years, 6ft (1.82m), very well built (18 stone/114.5K) short hair wearing a beach type shirt and 3/4 length beige shorts. 2) Man, 45 years, 5ft 8in (1.72m), slim build, long dark curly hair, moustache and

wearing beige coloured jumper and trousers. 3) Woman, 5ft 8in (1.72m), slim build, brown hair worn in a pony tail, wearing beige trousers and a light coloured cardigan. She was carrying a shopping bag. Advice:- Although this was seen by shoppers in the above supermarket it could happen in any supermarket. The thieves are no doubt moving from one to another. Also men, do not carry wallets or money in trouser pockets and , if you carry a handbag, watch where you carry it so that it is not an easy target. WATCH OUT - THERE´S A THIEF ABOUT. Vecinos Cooperando, Orihuela Costa

Spring forward, Clocked back

I was under the impression that since digital 'speedos' were fitted to vehicles, they could not be clocked or wound back. Last February I part-exchanged my old car with a 'reputable' local dealership. The car had around 189000kms on the clock. I saw the

car last week, some 9 months later and it had around 125000 kms on the clock, so please pass on this little piece of information to your readers. Thank you Sandra (Via email)

THE VIEWS EXPRESSED ON THIS PAGE ARE NOT NECESSARILY THOSE OF THE COURIER

Ryanair in the dock Empty promises over justice block From Page1 nication may also be conducted in other work areas, not only via head office. A statement released by the union said: “It is common knowledge that Ryanair normally operates out of the Airport of Valencia”. The Commercial Court has concluded that there were no defaults in the judicial procedure applied in this matter, but rather the “reck-

less behaviour” of the airline, in its refusal to accept court notifications. Therefore, it had issued the maximum legal fine of 600 euros against Ryanair, due to the “enormous financial capabilities of the company and its ignorance in the dismissal of its obligations to the Spanish courts”. It went on to state that Ryanair “not only refuses to receive the notifications, but

has deliberately attempted to prevent their reception, with the sole purpose of obstructing the normal functioning of the justice system." The Judge commented that such behaviour is “especially serious in light of the favourable financial situation of the defendant company, which has a huge budget and legal services on-hand to deal with such conflicts.”

THESE ARE pictures of the state of the waste ground opposite where we live in Calle Renoir, El Chaparral. The council cleared some of it about a fortnight ago but left the high mound at the back. Since then, more waste has been dumped on the floor, even when the green basura bin is empty. As residents, we are getting fed up with the way this has been left. They have spent money on building a sports pitch; the rest should have been made into a garden, which we were looking forward to. But as usual nothing has happened. The basura was emptied every day, now only twice a week.

About a year ago we went to a Neighbourhood Watch meeting and complained about it to Graham Knight and the parks department. They came up the next day and were shocked at the state of it. Then it was cleared. Also, at the beginning of the year there was still a high amount of rubbish, and somebody set fire to it and the bomberos had to be called out. I know we are not the only area which has this problem. Our neighbour who is Spanish, has also been to the Town Hall and complained. That’s when they came and cleared some of it. Perhaps you could do an article on it. BARBARA CATLING (Mrs)


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Friday, November 23, 2012

HOME IS WHERE THE HEAT IS

So how can I have a brolly good time in England’s mean unpleasant land?

BY the time you read this, I’ll be in England. Not that I want to be. In fact, I can think of few places I would less like to relocate to in November than over-populated, rain-sodden, ice cold, traffic-polluted London. So I’m going instead to over-populated, rain-sodden, ice cold, traffic-polluted Manchester, the city which was my adopted home for nearly 40 years before I came to Spain. I am going to the capital of the north for one reason only – to spend the build-up to Christmas with my two daughters and their families. My intention is to remain there until the New Year but I already have doubts whether I’ll stay the pace. The rain may be wetter and the football better in Manchester than it is in London. But the Spanish lifestyle offers another dimension to life – and I am enjoying it more than I could ever have hoped. Instead of suffering Capital Punishment or Northern Frights at the hands of England’s rapidly-growing scum society, I’ve got the seaside holiday heaven of Guardamarvellous virtually on my doorstep. I can drive the 10km to the office at any time of day in less than 10 minutes - and forget about being caught in rush-hour or school-run traffic. I’ve got enough bars and restaurants within a few kilometres of my home to dine out every night for the next 20 years without ever going to the same place twice. And I’ve made more friends since leaving Britain, both English and Spanish

Manchester - home of the raining champions speaking, than I did in half a lifetime back home. If I develop this any further, I can see me missing the plane to Manchester after all and breaking down in an uncontrollable flood of tears as I count the cost. Never mind the family, I paid over 50 quid for that ticket! To be serious, for some reason I no longer feel any pull toward the land of my birth. I’ve been living in Spain on and off for nearly seven years – and more or less fulltime since the beginning of 2011. And my first words to myself when I wake every

Reflections on the people with bottle I’VE never quite been sure why people put bottles of water outside their front gates – but they seem to be breeding around El Raso. The bottles invariably come in pairs, and outside colonies of half a dozen or more neighbouring houses. I can only presume that the owners of these properties suffer from copycat-itis rather than empathy with the inner thoughts of the canine and feline mind. Because I suspect most of them are

The Broadband and Telephone

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wasting their time. This ever-growing bottle brigade seem to think the water deters cats and dogs from relieving themselves in people’s gardens (bless their soils). The theory is that the animals see their reflection in the bottle, get a fright and clear off. I guess it must work for some people, otherwise nobody would bother doing it. But water bottles are certainly no deterrent to my three cats, who have no problem with their their own reflections. Since my bedrooms all have floor-to-ceiling mirrored wardrobes, the moggies spend half their lives looking at themselves and thinking they’re the cat’s whiskers . As an experiment, my neighbour June put a bottle of water on each side of her front gate. Within minutes my cat Molly marched straight between the bottles into her garden - without a Company glimpse at the ‘deterrents’. Reflect on that, bottle people.

morning is ‘’Every day’s a holiday’’. For much of my adult life, my family and I spent our holidays predominantly in Spain, I would greet every day of those vacaciones with a special feeling - that wonderful sense of difference. Of being in a foreign land where

the sun shines every day. Of freedom from the everyday grind of work and household chores. Now I live the dream of those two or three weeks a year virtually every day of my life…even though I am arguably working harder than I have ever done. There is something surreal about waking up almost every day of the year and squinting into the sun blazing through the bedroom window. About peering out into a leafy garden that resembles a sea of colour and tranquillity …spoilt only by the cat churning up a mound of gravel and doing an impression of a Real Madrid footballer (Kaka). I have a confession to make. I had no idea where this article was going when I started writing it. All I know is that I am going to the home of the English football champions. And I fear I’ll find myself up to my neck in Kaka…


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Friday, November 23, 2012

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Friday, November 23, 2012

MY FUTURE IS TENSE

'WOULDN'T it be great to know what our future holds?' I commented to Mrs S the other day. 'I only wish I'd possessed that capability on our wedding day,' she muttered. 'Anyway, you have enough trouble coping with the present. 'Now go take a shower,' she sniffed. 'You know that thinking makes you perspire.' 'But I've just had a shower,' I countered. 'And if you don't mind me saying, that gel you bought doesn't give much of a lather.' Mrs S surveyed my dry body. 'Did you try switching on the water?' 'Oh,' I said. 'I was too busy wondering what my future held.' I returned to the bathroom but didn't stay in the shower for long. 'I don't think much of that new sponge,' I complained. Mrs S took in my lobsterred appearance. 'Congratulations. You found the Brillo Pad.' 'But that's my whole point,'

I said. 'If I could see into my future I would have stayed in bed on the days bad things were due to happen. You have to admit that my reasoning does make sense.' But Mrs S had assumed a faraway look in her eye. 'Sorry,' she said eventually. 'I was just thinking of the final scene in The Graduate when the bride flees the church to run off with Dustin Hoffman.' 'Anyway,' she sighed. 'If you're really serious about knowing the future why don't you try 99.' I was confused. 'You want me to ALMOST phone the police?' Mrs S gritted what remained of her well-worn aggravated teeth. 'Perhaps I phrased that poorly. No.99 is the house opposite. A lovely young couple have just moved in. She reads the tea leaves.' 'Really?' I responded. 'Poor woman. You must take her some magazines.' 'She's a clairvoyant!' snapped Mrs S. 'You do know what that means?'

It was my turn to lose my cool. 'You do it every time, woman! Whenever you come out with a word containing more than two syllables, you ask me if I know what it means? 'I may be stupid but I'm not moronic,' I insisted. 'Or should that be the other way round?' I stamped from the room, stomped downstairs and stormed out of the house. I sat on the garden wall for a while to calm myself. Then I sauntered across the road and tapped on the door of No.99, wearing my best 'welcome to the neighbourhood'

smile. 'Hello, there,' I greeted the lady standing before me. 'You must be Claire Voyant. I'm so pleased to meet you, Claire.' The woman screamed. 'Jack, come quickly! There's a strange man on the doorstep wearing just a bath towel.' Jack appeared at the front door. 'Go inside, Janice. I'll ring 999.' 'Now that is a coincidence!' I exclaimed. 'I almost phoned the police myself a few minutes ago. But who is Janice?' Which reminds me. One of my first girlfriends was also

called Claire. I was so infatuated with her that I couldn't eat, a state of affairs which didn't particularly perturb my mother. 'My son is growing up,' she cooed. 'And long may you stay in love, our David. It means I don't have to buy any food in for you. 'But do let me know if along with loss of appetite you start to feel listless and depressed. It could mean you've picked up something from the budgie.' I still remember the first day of our romantic holiday in Spain. My beloved Claire and I walked hand in hand along the beach at Torremolinos. Claire looked deeply into my eyes. 'I shall never forget this moment,' she sighed. 'Why is that, my darling?' She shrugged. 'God only knows.' And she walked away, hailed a taxi back to Malaga airport and flew home alone. I never did see her again. Anyway, enough about my hectic love life. Here I was in

an undressed stressed state on the doorstep of No.99. 'Please don't phone the police,' I begged. 'I pose no threat. I live just opposite you.' I indicated across the road with one hand while clinging to my bath towel with the other. Ah,' said Jack. 'So you're the neighbourhood nutter the lady warned me about.' 'Which lady?' I asked puzzled. 'The nice woman who lives over there,' said Jack, pointing at my house. 'Let's go back inside now, Janice. Are you feeling okay?' 'I'm all right, Jack,' she said and slammed the door on me. I limped home, fully convinced that I would never understand women. I mean, why would a lady called Claire respond to the name Janice? And why had my own beloved Claire abandoned me in Spain? And why did Mrs S keep her Brillo Pads in the bathroom?


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Friday, November 23, 2012

SAY IT IN SPANISH Learn the lingo - with a little help from JEANETTE ERATH LESSON 47 This week and next we are going to concentrate again on something that was covered briefly when we started Say It In Spanish all those months ago. But I am going to go into more detail, then we will return to verbs, I think you´re ready! We are going to learn the gender of nouns. Some people may think that the gender of a noun isn´t important as if you get the direct or indirect article wrong people will still know what you are talking about. This with the majority of nouns is correct, however there are some nouns that will blow that theory out of the water and we shall get to those later. Firstly though, to be a confident speaker of Spanish it is imperative that you make an effort to learn the genders of nouns, it makes you sound more fluent and more natural and other Spanish speakers will appreciate the effort you have put in to learning. So, as we are aware Spanish has two genders: MASCULINE and FEMININE. This is also important to remember as inanimate objects have a gender as much as people, so a table is ´she´ and a book is ´he´. Firstly we will cover MASCULINE nouns – remember, the objects are el, los, un and unos: There is a general rule that the majority of nouns referring to animals, places or things in Spanish ending with ´O´ are masculine. Examples: el año – the year, el queso – the cheese, el caballo – the horse, el zapato – the shoe. Also nouns that describe a male generally (but not always) end in ´O´ and are masculine, Examples: el cartero – the postman, el general – the general, el hombre – the man. However there are some nouns that end in ´A´ but are still masculine, these are words that end in -ía, -ma, -ama, -ema and -oma note that a lot of them appear very similar to the English equivalent: el aroma – aroma, fragrance, el clima –

weather, climate, el día – day, el diploma – diploma, el idioma – the language, el problema – the problem, el programa – program, el sistema – the system, el tema – theme. Nouns that end -ambre and -aje are masculine: el equipaje – the luggage, el montaje – the setting, el paisaje – landscape, el personaje – character.

piscina – the swimming pool. Nouns that identify female beings generally end in ´A´: la hija – the daughter, la profesora – the teacher, la yegua – mare (female horse) A few nouns ending in ´O´ are feminine, note though that the first two are abbreviations of compound feminine nouns: la foto (fotografía) – photo (photograph), la moto (motocicleta) – motorcycle, la mano – the hand Nouns that end in -cíon and -sión are feminine, note how a lot of them are very similar to the English words: la canción – the song, la división – the division, la estación – season/station, la misión – mission, la pasión – passion. Nouns that end -dad and -tad are feminine, most of the English versions of these words end in -ty: la amistad – friendship, la cuidad – the city, la dificultad – difficulty, la libertad – liberty, la voluntad – will. Nouns that end -ie, -eza, -sis and -itis are generally feminine: la crisis – crisis, la especie – species, la tristeza – sadness, la tesis – thesis, la serie – series, la dermatitis – dermatitis. Nouns that end -tud and -umbre are feminine: la costumbre – the custom/tradition, la virtud – virtue.

Also masculine are nouns that end -or and -án: el amor – love, el calor – heat, el refrán – saying/proverb. We learnt in a previous lesson that Spanish has two contractions, del and al which are combinations of de + el and a + el. They only contract when they are together and el is the article, e.g vamos al cine – let´s go to the cinema, Es el libro del niño – it´s the child´s book. Note the following when the article is part of the noun and so NOT contracted: Estoy escribiendo de El Raso – I am writing from El Raso. Now let´s look at FEMININE nouns, remember the feminine objects are la, las, una and unas: Nearly all nouns that end in ´A´ are feminine: la cocina – the kitchen, la maleta – the suitcase, la pelota – the ball, la

Next week we will continue with verbs that do not fall into the above categories and learn some more rules about nouns and how important it is to get the gender correct. In the meantime I will take you right back to the first lessons with some revision that I notice my students still struggle with at times if they don´t practise often enough. Translate the following, remembering the correct article: The season is Spring, The postman arrives at six, there is a beautiful landscape, I want to sing some songs, The crisis (recession) in Europe is very bad, you are the love of my life, I want to see a photo, the men and the woman go to the shop, I want to write a poem, The problem is very big, I have a daughter, The dose (dosis) is very low, I have to put everything in a suitcase, I want to go to the kitchen.


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Friday, November 23, 2012

WHY DO THEY DO THAT? Top dog psychologist PETER SINGH writes exclusively for The Courier. Check out www.thedogyouneed.com or email Peter at peter@thedogyouneed.com

Who’s leading who? THANK you to all the readers who sent me messages regarding my dog psychology seminars which will be coming to Spain in ten weeks’ time. The overall response from readers and Facebook dog rescue groups in Spain has been amazing and the first seminar is expected to sell out very quickly. Details of the venue, prices and dates will be in next week’s column and tickets will be sold on a first come, first served basis. The main aspect running through the seminar will be for people to realise the difference between dog training and dog psychology. It is never about training the dog, it is always about understanding the dog and you can only do this when you understand how the mind of your dog works. My clients in London who have attended the seminars have obtained a completely new understanding of their dogs. When they arrive home after the seminar it is as if they are meeting their pets for the first time, as they see them in a completely different light - which was what the dogs have been waiting for all along! There are so many misconceptions out there about dog behaviour and what is the best approach to getting a badly behaved dog behaving nicely. Most of the ideas come from the human’s point of view, but in this seminar things are turned around as we will be looking at things from the dog’s side. Another common trait for people in London who have attended, is that none of them can believe how simple it all is. Dog psychology is simple. It is only humans who complicate it. Read books on the subject and most make the subject difficult to understand. Dogs are not a complicated species, we are! So I like to make things simple and that is

how I achieve success with my clients. It is humans who need to change their ways and when that happens success follows. That is how things happened for me. I used to live in a very negative way and was brought up around police and violence from birth. If I was to stay in that negative lifestyle I would

Peter will share the wisdom of dogs with you

never have been able to share my life with dogs - and a life without dogs for me, would frankly be a life not worth living. Studying how the mind of a dog works has changed my life around completely and they have given me the stability and peace of mind that counsellors and therapists couldn’t. Whether it is a short temper, frustration, depression, nerves, anxiety, whatever is your weakness the seminar will show you how to combat this negativity and turn things around for the complete benefit of both you and your dog. When you understand what your dog can teach you, rather than what you can teach them, that is when the pure magic happens and if you follow the recipe given on a daily basis, then that will be the start of the rest of your life. Let me give you an example of a real life situation. One Friday I worked with a client who had been having severe problems with her two Labradors. She was in her thirties and suffering from severe depression and had just been prescribed anti depressant drugs by her doctor. She was due to start taking them on the day I was with her. She embraced all the subjects I talked to her about and two days later, on the Sunday, her husband told her how happy he was that she had finally taken the anti depressant drugs, as he had never seen her so calm and balanced as he had done that weekend. With that, she showed him the bottle with the anti depressant drugs which had not been opened! She had simply followed the advice I had given her, after I showed her what her dogs were trying to teach her all along. This seminar is here to show you all how advanced dogs really are and once you realise this, you will see that all along, they should have been putting a lead around our necks every week and taking us along to human training!

PETS’ CORNER: CAN YOU TAKE IN A HOMELESS DOG OR CAT?

INGRID,ISABELLE & IMOGEN were found when they were only 5 weeks old on a cold and very wet Saturday morning. They are currently receiving appropriate vaccinations. 966 710 047 or email info@satanimalrescue.com

DIAMOND; DUMPLING & DYNAMO were also abandoned in a cardboard box when only 5 weeks old. We believe these two sisters and one brother are going to be bigger than average size dogs. 966 710 047 or email info@satanimalrescue.com

Imogen, 1 of the three puppies

Dynamo, 1 of the three puppies

Kimi (male dog) was picked up wandering the streets, very emaciated but very friendly, loving and quiet. Kimi is a Pointer dalmation cross, castrated and ready to go to a new home. 610188349

Tyson is nearly 2 years old he was found with his 2 sister in a cardboard box at only 8 weeks. He is very playful and loves to run with the other dogs. 616210850 / www.apahrescue.org

Skye: born in 2011 and is possibly pitbull X. She’s very sweet-natured; gets on well with children and other dogs. Telephone 650304746. www.pepaspain.com

Bobbins is 1 or 2 kittens that survived being poisoned. He is approx 8 weeks old, very affectionate and in good health. Call: 966 725 975 www.petsinspain.com

Skye

Kimi

Kimi

Jed: born in March. He’s a small size boy who needs lots of love. For more information please telephone the P.E.P.A on 650304746. www.pepaspain.com

Frankie is a gorgeous, part Siamese blue eyed boy about four years old. If you would like to meet Frankie please call Joe (The Cat Man) on 966719272.

Bobbins Cinders is approx 6 weeks old and was brought into us this week by a friend who saw her thrown from a car. Call: 966 725 975 www.petsinspain.com

Cinders

Jed

Lola is 2and a half years old, she was found in El Mirador. We think she may of escaped as she was very well looked after. 616210850 www.apahrescue.org

Frankie Gracie is 5 years old and is a very loving little dog. She has Leishmaniosis and now needs just a pill each day. Call: 645 469 253 www.petsinspain.com

Rocky is a German Shepherd that has been tied up for most of his life, He is 10 years old and is now ready to find that special person that will care for him for the rest of his life. Please ring Laurence 680856235.

Naomi is approx 5 months old and in urgent need of a new home. She was rescued from the perrera when she was just 6 weeks old and is sadly still waiting. Call: 645 469 253. www.petsinspain.com

Lola Max is a Beautiful black Podenco / Greyhound cross 6 years old. He enjoys the company of other dogs but does not like cats. The K9 Club. Please call: 664 891 382

Rocky

Gracie

Naomi

Max


Friday, November 23, 2012

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LÍNEA DIRECTA INSTRUCTS ITS CUSTOMERS ON THE STEPS TO TAKE IF THEY HAVE BEEN AFFECTED BY THE RECENT HEAVY RAINSTORMS Madrid, 2 October 2012.- Línea Directa Aseguradora instructs its customers affected by the recent heavy rainstorms recorded on September 28 and 29 in the regions of Andalucía, Murcia y Valencia on the steps required to speed up the processes of making claims, treating and repairing the damage caused. As any extraordinary risk resulting from a natural catastrophe, claims for damage to property and personal injury must be made to the Insurance Compensation Consortium (CCS), a body which is dependent on the Ministry of Economy and Finance. The Consortium will be wholly responsible for processing claims, assessing the damage caused and paying out compensation to those affected. In order to claim for damage to property, the customer can contact the Insurance Compensation Consortium directly by calling 902 222 665 from 9am to 6pm, Monday to Friday. Claims for personal injury or loss of profits must be presented in writing to the local office in question or by post by completing the corresponding form. In addition, in the case of Expatriate customers, Línea Directa will act as an intermediary, administrator and advisor with the public body, with an aim to speeding up the processes of compensation and repairing material damage to vehicles, which will be assessed, processed and compensated entirely by the Consortium. To this end, Línea Directa has set up a helpline 902 326 326 which its customers affected by the damage can call in order to receive help and information both in English and German on the correct processes required. Línea Directa wishes to express its deepest condolences to the families of those people who have lost their lives and offers its services to all customers affected to provide them with any type of additional information they might require. Insurance Compensation Consortium Addresses ANDALUCÍA ORIENTAL (Málaga, Jaén, Almería, Granada) Av. Aurora, 55, planta 1ª 29006 - MÁLAGA Tel.: 95 206 13 91 Fax: 95 206 13 92 ccsmalaga@consorseguros.es ANDALUCÍA OCCIDENTAL (Sevilla, Cádiz, Huelva, Córdoba) C/ Luis Montoto, 107 41007 - SEVILLA Tel.: 95 498 14 00 Fax: 95 498 14 01 ccssevilla@consorseguros.es MURCIA Ronda de Garay, 10 30003 - MURCIA Tel.: 968 35 04 50 Fax: 968 35 04 51 ccsmurcia@consorseguros.es COMUNIDAD VALENCIANA: Plaza de Tetuán, 15 46003 - VALENCIA Tel.: 96 315 43 00 Fax: 96 315 43 01 ccsvalencia@consorseguros.es


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Friday, November 23, 2012

CELEBRITY BLINDNESS SO much is being written about the ongoing enquiry into allegations of sexual abuse by Jimmy Savile and some of his associates that I wonder what is going on in the UK. I read newspapers online to keep up with the news back in Britain and the top story is nearly always something relating to Operation Yewtree (the name given to the investigation - why that name? Answers on a postcard!). On the main page of the site are the headlines and as I was reading all the different stories coming out of this awful revelation about a popular figure from the 70´s and 80´s, I carried on scrolling down the page until one story caught my eye completely. The picture relating to the piece was of a man holding something wrapped up. The headline revealed that the bundle was a young boy, dead at just 11 months old, being cradled in his father’s arms as the man sobbed uncontrollably at the loss of his son. This man was a BBC journalist in Gaza whose child had been killed by an Israeli air strike. Next to this story was one of three people killed in Israel as they ate breakfast. A Hamas rocket blasted through their building ending their lives. The thought that struck me as I stared at the photos of desperation from both sides of a terrible situation was how little notice was being given to these people. Maybe

because they are in a different country their stories are relegated to near the bottom of the page, but to me, the loss of a son and the death of three people is more important in the great scheme of things than the House of Commons’

Speaker’s wife being sued because of something she wrote on Twitter (and yes, it did relate to child abuse). I don´t care about Sally Bercow, I have absolutely no interest in Lord McAlpine, in fact I had to go back to the paper

just to remember their names. However, what does interest me is that Gaza and Israel are on the brink of war and by the time this is printed may already be at war. I do not want news of this importance placed in the same category as ´the secret to a longer life´ and ´Jon Bon Jovi´s daughter´s friend who apparently overdosed with her´, both of which were next to the stories about Israel and Gaza. Are we in such a culture of celebrity that everything else takes second place? Are we that ignorant to believe this is not important to us? Or do we not care about something that is happening so far away? I think it is our duty to care, people are dying and instead of being obsessed with people who make or made their living on TV or radio we should be concentrating more on the future of other countries and the lives of their people. That isn´t to say that these victims are not important. Of course they are, any victim of any crime deserves our respect and understanding, especially those we should be protecting, i.e. our children. However, have we really become so blind to celebrity that Twitter is more important than human lives? If so, I really despair for the modern world and maybe we deserve to be blasted into oblivion and given the chance to start all over again. If we did, I wonder how long it would take to reach the same, sad state that we are in now.


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Friday, November 23, 2012

WHAT price tag would you put on democracy? The recent Police Commissioner elections in England and Wales cost some £75 million, a cool £10 million less than the 2010 General Election for the whole UK, but I thought it was a price worth paying. The more you get people involved in local issues, the better, and the fact that key figures in the Labour Party didn’t get on board with it for their own petty reasons was a shame. If I lived back home, I’d want to have a say in making sure that my local plods offer the best possible service, and to have people in charge who know what they are doing. That’s why I loved the fact that Independent candidates, who had the odds stacked against them, did so well against the traditional parties, who wheeled their tried and trusted organisations into action. It was wonderful to see new names beating the party hacks, and there was a treat on Humberside, with John Prescott losing to a Tory of all things. The former Deputy P r i m e

PRESCOTT’S FINAL PLOD Minister has never tasted personal defeat, and it must have stuck in his gullet very badly, as he promptly stated that he’d never ever stand for an elected office again! To have an average national turnout of 15% was a disgrace, and patronising comments from politicians saying that the voters couldn’t understand what the elections were about, was hardly the reason for so many people not bothering.

Meanwhile, not even q 30% of the good folk of Bristol could get off their backsides to vote in their first Mayoral election, which was won by Independent George Ferguson. I presume those who moan and groan about issues like dog dirt and poor transport to the local media, just preferred to stay at home watching television? It was a similar picture of very low voting for the three parliamentary by-elections, and it’s all a very worrying comment on what the ordinary man in the street feels about his elected representatives. A familiar retort in the old days of door to door election canvassing was the comment of “They’re all the same as each other”. You could have fought that argument easily some 30 years ago, but you have to say

that has a much louder ring of truth about it now in regard to the main parties. The only good thing was that the low turnouts brought absolute nothing of any benefit to the far right BNP, and that free-thinking people with no party ties got elected. That gives me some optimism that the new commissioners and mayors will spend their first term in office making an impact that will encourage more people to vote next time round. It’s a great way of breaking the stranglehold the Westminster elite have had on British politics for years, and sadly that key point seems to have been lost on the overwhelming majority of the electorate, who just seem to be fed up. What a waste of a chance to really stick it up them, as Corporal Jones used to say on Dad’s

Army! With so many problems on Planet Earth, the Middle East has been one of the longest running sores with so many intransigent people on all sides. Israel doesn’t mess around, and with the dreadful missile strikes organised by Hamas out of Gaza (probably with a nod or two from the direction of Iran), and the big retaliation that’s coming out Tel Aviv, it’s innocent people who are suffering. This powder keg was created many years ago by the disgraceful way the British treated the Palestinians and the way they were brushed aside as the state of Israel was created. That’s an old lesson of the Empire that wasn’t taught in my schooldays! I’m one hundred per cent behind Israel as well as the Palestinians, and surely it is not beyond the imagination of mankind to sort this all out once and for all. If we don’t, the pointless loss of life will continue for many years. Talking of which, have you noticed how events in Syria have stopped being reported? The killings and the atrocities haven’t stopped there just because a few journalists have turned their attention to another part of the region.

q

ONLY PIGS AND HORSES

DAVE WALSH looked out of his window - and saw two pigs on the loose. The only people he could think of to call were Easy Horse Care Rescue Centre, who managed to catch one, which they named Penelope, and successfully re-home her. That was two years ago. So imagine his surprise recently when he peered through the same window overlooking the Three Crosses in Rojales and saw a lone pony at the top of the hill.

Oink oink, Dave’s back with a touching pony tale

Cruz…his head collar had cut deep droves into his face

Once again he turned to Easy Horse Care Rescue Centre for help. Co-founder Sue Weeding and volunteer Miranda immediately responded and found Dave waiting anxiously at the bottom of the hill with the news that there were in fact two ponies on the loose. Both were extremely malnourished, and the smaller

of the two, since named Cruz, had been blinded in one eye with a sharp implement. His head collar, made of bail twine, had cut deep grooves into his face, and he was so full of worms that he was struggling to breathe. It was established that nobody was responsible for the ponies and the police

gave Easy Care permission to take them in as neither was micro-chipped. The larger pony has been named Rocky and both animals are now receiving all the medical care, attention and love that they need to aid their recovery. Both can be visited at the centre’s Open Day every Sunday from 1-4pm.


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Friday, November 23, 2012

One Pot Wonders

Create comfort in a pot with these filling, fast and sumptuous recipes SQUASH, LENTIL & BEAN ONE-POT SLOW-BRAISED PORK SHOULDER WITH FIG RAITA WITH CIDER & PARSNIPS Ingredients Ingredients 2 tbsp olive oil 1kg/2lb 4oz pork shoulder , diced 2 onions , sliced 2 celery sticks, roughly chopped 3 parsnips , cut into chunks 2 bay leaves 1 tbsp plain flour 330ml bottle cider 850ml chicken stock handful parsley , chopped mashed potato and greens , to serve (optional)

Method

1.Heat oven to 180C/160C fan/gas 4. Heat the oil in a large lidded flameproof casserole and brown the meat in batches, then set aside. Fry the onions, celery and parsnips with the bay leaves for 10 mins until golden brown. Sprinkle in the flour and give a good stir, then add the pork and any juices back to the dish. 2. Add the cider and stock so that the meat and vegetables are covered. Season and bring to a simmer, then cover and put in the oven for 2 hrs. Serve sprinkled with parsley, with mashed potato and greens, if you like.

400g piece butternut squash , peeled, deseeded and chunkily diced 1 onion , sliced 1 tbsp olive oil 2 tsp ground cumin ½ tsp chilli flakes 400g can chopped tomatoes 100g dried red lentils 2 tsp agave syrup or brown sugar 2 tsp red or white wine vinegar 400g can kidney beans , drained and rinsed 2 dried figs , finely chopped 150ml pot fat-free natural yogurt ½ small bunch parsley , chopped

Method

1.Fry the squash and onion in the oil for 5-8 mins until the onion is softened. Stir in the cumin and chilli for 1 min. Add the tomatoes plus a canful of water from the tomato can, the lentils, agave or sugar and vinegar. Bring to a simmer and cook for 10 mins, then stir in the beans and cook for a further few mins until the lentils are tender and the beans heated through. 2. Meanwhile, mix the figs, yogurt and parsley together. Season the stew, then serve in bowls with fig raita on the side.

MEXICAN BEEF CHILLI Ingredients up to 6 tbsp sunflower oil 4kg stewing beef 4 white onions , sliced 4 tbsp chipotle paste 8 garlic cloves , crushed 50g ginger , grated 1 tbsp ground cumin 2 tsp ground cinnamon 1 tbsp plain flour 2l beef stock 3 x 400g cans chopped tomatoes 1 tbsp dried oregano 5 x 400g cans pinto or kidney beans , drained


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Friday, November 23, 2012

Method 1.Heat a small drizzle of the oil in an extra-large flameproof dish. Brown the meat in batches, adding a drop more oil, remove from the dish and set aside. Add 1 tbsp oil to the dish, then the onions, and cook for 7-10 mins or until caramelised. 2. Stir the chipotle paste, garlic, ginger, cumin, cinnamon and flour in with the onions and cook for a couple of mins. Gradually add the stock, stirring all the time, so it's fully mixed in with the other ingredients. Add the tomatoes and oregano, season and simmer for 10 mins. 3. Now tip in the beef, cover and simmer very gently for about 1 hr 45 mins until tender, removing the lid and adding the beans for the final 15 mins. If the sauce is thin, let it boil down for a further 5-10 mins with the lid off. Before serving, adjust the seasoning. Serve with the garlic bread and salsa.

ONE POT FISH WITH TOMATOES AND BLACK OLIVES Ingredients 175g black olives in oil, stones removed 1 large onion , roughly chopped 400g can chopped tomatoes 4 boneless white fish fillets such as Icelandic cod or hoki, each weighing about 175g/6oz TO SERVE chopped parsley lemon wedges

Method

1.Preheat the oven to fan 180C/conventional 200C/gas 6.

Heat 1 tbsp of the oil from the olives in an ovenproof pan. Tip in the onion and stir well, leave to cook for a minute or two and then give it another good stir. Add the tomatoes and some salt and pepper. Bring to the boil, then add the olives. 2. Put the fish, skin side down, onto the sauce and drizzle over a splash more oil from the olive jar. Bake, uncovered, for 15 minutes until the fish is cooked. Sprinkle with chopped parsley and serve straight from the pan, with lemon wedges for squeezing over.

HONEY MUSTARD & CRÈME FRAÎCHE BAKED CHICKEN Ingredients 4 tbsp crème fraîche 2 tbsp grainy mustard 2 garlic cloves , crushed 150ml chicken stock 8 skin-on chicken drumsticks and thighs 500g baby potatoes 200g green beans 2 tbsp clear honey ½ small bunch tarragon , roughly chopped

Method

1.Heat oven to 200C/180C fan/gas 6. Mix together the crème fraîche, mustard, garlic and stock with some seasoning. Arrange the chicken, skin-side up, in a roasting tray just large enough for the chicken and vegetables. 2. Tuck the potatoes and beans in between the chicken pieces. Pour over the stock mixture then season the chicken and drizzle with honey. Cook for 40-45 mins until the chicken is cooked through and the potatoes tender. Scatter over the tarragon before serving

CHICKPEA, CHORIZO AND SPINACH STEW Ingredients 3-4 tbsp extra-virgin olive oil 1 onion , chopped 1 carrot , finely diced 1 celery stick, finely diced few thyme sprigs 2 bay leaves 2 garlic cloves , finely chopped 200g chorizo , diced ¼ tsp cinnamon 1 tsp hot smoked paprika 2 x 410g/14oz cans chickpeas , rinsed and drained 1-2 tbsp sherry vinegar 400g bag spinach leaves, washed and drained

Method

1.Heat the oil in a large pan, then gently fry the onion for 3-4 mins until it begins to soften. Stir in the carrot, celery, thyme and bay leaves. Season, then cook for 2-3 mins, stirring occasionally. Add the garlic, chorizo, cinnamon and smoked paprika. Gently fry until the vegetables soften and the chorizo

Continued on P18


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Friday, November 16, 2012

starts to release its oils and crisp up. 2. Stir in the chickpeas, vinegar and 150ml water, then bring to a simmer for 1-2 mins until the chickpeas have heated up. Add the spinach, then stir through the chickpeas until it wilts a little. Remove from the heat, season to taste, then serve warm with crusty bread.

FRUITY LAMB TAGINE Ingredients 2 tbsp olive oil 500g lean diced lamb 1 large onion , roughly chopped 2 large carrots , quartered lengthways and cut into chunks 2 garlic cloves , finely chopped 2 tbsp ras-el-hanout spice mix (see tip, below) 400g can chopped tomatoes 400g can chickpeas , rinsed and drained 200g dried apricots 600ml chicken stock TO SERVE 120g pack pomegranate seeds 2 large handfuls coriander , roughly chopped

Method

1.Heat oven to 180C/160C fan/gas 4. Heat the oil in a casserole and brown the lamb on all sides. Scoop the lamb out onto a plate, then add the onion and carrots and cook for 2-3 mins until golden. Add the garlic and cook for 1 min more. Stir in the spices and tomatoes, and season. Tip the lamb back in with the chickpeas and apricots. Pour over the stock, stir and bring to a simmer. Cover the dish and place in the oven for 1 hr. 2. If the lamb is still a little tough, give it 20 mins more until tender. When ready, leave it to rest so it's not piping hot, then serve scattered with pomegranate and herbs, with couscous or rice alongside.

MOROCCON MEATBALLS WITH EGGS Ingredients 1 onion , finely chopped 3 tbsp olive oil 50g fresh breadcrumbs 250g pack lean lamb mince ½ tsp ground cinnamon 5 eggs 2 garlic cloves , sliced 1 courgette , thickly sliced 2 x 400g cans chopped tomatoes 2 tsp honey ½-1 tsp ras el hanout spice mix 20g bunch coriander , mostly chopped 400g can chickpeas , rinsed and drained

Method

1.Fry the onion in 1 tbsp oil until soft, then allow to cool. Mix with the breadcrumbs, mince, cinnamon, 1 egg, ½ tsp salt and lots of pepper, then shape into about 24 meatballs with wet hands. Fry in the remaining oil in a shallow pan for about 8 mins, moving them round until evenly browned. Lift out and set aside. 2. Add the garlic to the oil left in the pan and fry until softened. Add the courgette, fry for 1-2 mins, then tip in the tomatoes, honey, ras el hanout, three-quarters of the coriander, seasoning and a couple of tbsp water. Stir and cook until pulpy. 3. Stir in the chickpeas and add the meatballs. Make 4 hollows in the sauce, then break in the remaining eggs. Cover and cook for 4-8 mins over a low heat until the eggs are set. Scatter with coriander and serve straight from the pan with crusty bread for scooping up the sauce.

SAUSAGES WITH OREGANO, MUSHROOMS & OLIVES Ingredients 450g pack reduced-fat sausages 1 tsp sunflower oil

2 tsp dried oregano 2 garlic cloves , sliced 400g can chopped or cherry tomatoes 200ml beef stock 100g pitted black olives in brine 500g pack mushrooms , thickly sliced

Method

1.Using kitchen scissors, snip the sausages into meatballsize pieces. Heat a large pan and fry the pieces in the oil for about 5 mins until golden all over. 2. Add the oregano and garlic, fry for 1 min more, then tip in the tomatoes, stock, olives and mushrooms. 3. Simmer for 15 mins until the sausages are cooked through and the sauce has reduced a little. Serve with mashed potato or pasta.

GREEK LAMB TRAY BAKE Ingredients 50g fresh white breadcrumbs 250g lamb mince 1 egg , beaten 2 onions , halved large handful mint , chopped


Friday, November 16, 2012

2 large potatoes , cut into wedges 2 courgettes , cut into batons 12 cherry tomatoes 2 tbsp olive oil 50g feta cheese , crumbled

Method

1. Heat oven to 200C/180C fan/ gas 6. Pop the breadcrumbs, lamb mince, egg and plenty of seasoning in a bowl. Grate in half an onion and sprinkle in half the chopped mint. Give everything a good mix and shape into 8 patties. Place on a large, shallow roasting tray. 2. Cut the remaining onion halves into wedges. Place them on the tray around the lamb patties with the potatoes, courgettes and cherry tomatoes. Drizzle with olive oil and season. Bake for around 40 mins, turning everything once, until the lamb is cooked though and the vegetables are tender. Remove from the oven and sprinkle with feta and remaining mint.

SPANISH RICE AND RAWN ONE-POT Ingredients 1 onion , sliced 1 red and 1 green pepper , deseeded and sliced 50g chorizo , sliced 2 garlic cloves , crushed 1 tbsp olive oil 250g easy cook basmati rice 400g can chopped tomatoes 200g raw, peeled prawns , defrosted if frozen

Method

1.Boil the kettle. In a non-stick frying or shallow pan with a lid, fry the onion, peppers, chorizo and garlic in the oil over a high heat for 3 mins. Stir in the rice and chopped tomatoes with 500ml boiling water, cover, then cook over a high heat for 12 mins. 2. Uncover, then stir - the rice should be almost tender. Stir in the prawns, with a splash more water if the rice is looking dry, then cook for another min until the prawns are just pink and rice tender.

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Bull, boar and deer – the REAL taste of Spain EL ASADOR Manchego Bar and Restaurant can be found on the Lemon Tree Road heading towards Guardamar. This venue was re-opened three weeks ago and new owner Pedro has completely refurbished the bar to create a lovely cosy, comfortable atmosphere Joshua, the friendly Spanish member of staff, who also speaks English, is always on hand to help. Entertainment is available every weekend, with the Menu del Dia priced at just ₏9.00. The speciality dish of Rice and Tail of Bull is proving a big hit with the local residents. A choice of Spanish tapas is available at the bar, as are the special Wild Boar and Deer sausages, which originate from the La Mancha region near Madrid. El Asador Manchego is open Monday to Saturday from 9am till late, and closed on Sunday evenings. Where better for a typical Spanish style meal and evening out?


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Friday, November 23, 2012

BEAUTY IN A FLASH Fun Fashion Facts When Beauty Meets Technology

We all know how advanced and popular cosmetic surgery has become, but it is not for everyone, so is there another way to preserve our looks and especially the condition of our skins? There are so many ways now it has become a minefield out there and very confusing for most of the general public. So let me give you my thoughts on the best way to invest your precious funds! I have lived and worked on the Costa Blanca now for thirteen years and now would be considered a woman of a certain age, so I understand the needs of the average lady attending the clinics where I work. What we require is a good clean and fresh looking skin, firm facial muscles and an upper lip and chin free of facial hair. So here is the solution! Microdermabrasion is a system of deep exfoliation removing the dead skin cells that dull the complexion and encourages the new skin cells to surface faster so looking less flattened and more plump and youthful, the system I use is The Baby Peel by Carlton which uses crystals to dermabrade the skin followed by a nourishing treatment of various serums or masks. Treatments from €60. My next recommendation is a Flash Facial using the IPL Laser. This machine works deep in the dermal layer to trig-

ger collagen which is the scaffold of the skin and keeps it firm and improves fine lines and wrinkles, the IPL also refines the texture of the skin and removes sun damage and pigmentation and can treat acne. Treatments are on offer from €60. The CACI non-surgical micro current treatment has been the leader in nonsurgical lifting for many years now, it lifts, tones and encourags lymphatic drainage in the face, encourages cell renewal and infuses the moisturising products that are used in the treatment deep into the skin, it takes an hour and is a truly blissful and relaxing way to achieve a face lift, a course is required and then a monthly maintenance. Treatment is from €40. Facial hair is a big problem for many ladies. I have specialised in this field combining IPL Laser with electrolysis to be able to treat every type and colour of hair. IPL is a painless and highly effective way to rid the face and body of unwanted hair. Electrolysis is when current passes through a fine needle into the hair shaft to kill the follicle and this is effective on white and grey facial hair. Treatments start from €25. So there it is, quite simple really and quite affordable especially with these EXTRA SPECIAL OFFERS for December and January see the attached voucher for IPL hair removal. Contact Med Aesthetics for a free consultation for any of the above.

Health Benefits of Honey DR MACHI MANNU’S ADVICE CLINIC Email your questions and comments to machimannu@gmail.com

Honey has been valued for its medicinal properties for many thousands of years. It is a product of honeybees, made from regurgitated flower nectars. A hive of bees flies 55,000 miles to make one jar of honey. And an average worker bee makes about 1/12 of a tablespoon of honey in her entire life. Historically, honey has been used by humans to treat or provide relief for a variety of ailments ranging from burns, wounds, stomach ulcers, diarrhoea, infections, and cancer, among others. Several studies conducted on honey in Russia have concluded that raw, unprocessed honey is nature’s richest source of live healing enzymes and it also increases reflexes, mental alertness, and even IQ! Some types of honey such as Manuka honey from New Zealand and Noni honey from Hawaii have been shown to have antifungal, antibiotic and antiviral effects. In general, honey is composed of sugars like glucose and fructose and minerals like magnesium, potassium, calcium, sodium chlorine, sulphur, iron and phosphate. It also contains vitamins B1, B2, C, B6, B5 and B3 all of which change according to the qualities of

the nectar and pollen. Besides these, honey also contains copper, iodine, zinc and some hormones in small quantities. Scientists have studied the effects of honey on a number of diseases. According to a recently reported study in the international journal of food sciences, researchers found honey to be proficient in ensuring a healthy heart by improving blood circulation and preventing the clogging of arteries. Honey does this by reducing the level of bad low density cholesterol

(LDL) and at the same time increasing the levels of good High density lipoprotein (HDL). The good HDL removes cholesterol from the walls of blood vessels, thereby preventing the buildup of plaque. These plaques cause blood vessels to narrow, thus, reducing the amount of blood that can flow to vital organs such as the heart and brain and consequentially cause ‘heart attack’ and ‘stroke’. Honey has also been reported to promote better sugar control in the body as it contains a near 1:1 ratio of glucose and

fructose. Honey is also known to improve insulin sensitivity and the lining of the interior surface of blood vessels, usually damaged by high blood sugar. Honey contains a variety of antioxidants such as Vitamin C, bioflavonoids, monophenols and polyphenols. Antioxidants protect the body against inflammatory diseases by ‘mopping up’ toxic free radicals. Darker-coloured honey has been found to contain more antioxidants than the lighter-coloured variety. Honey, especially ‘Manuka Honey’ has been used successfully to treat a variety of wounds from cervical ulcers, bed sores, burns, varicose veins, cracked nipples, diabetic foot ulcers, malignant ulcers, skin

Thousands of years before there were mini-skirts or Doc Maartens, there was fashion. Women have always looked for ways to beautify themselves. See how many of these fun fashion facts you know. • Cleopatra, Queen of Egypt, was said to use kohl to widen her eyes. Egyptian women are also said to have used henna to lighten their hair. • The “Gibson Girl” look, popularized in 1890 by Charles Dana Gibson, came to symbolize the sensible American girl's ideal image. • Perfume is an over $10 million dollar industry. It's been used as far back as the Ancient Egyptians, who used it in religious rituals. • The modern era of perfume began in 1921 with Coco Chanel's launch of Chanel No. 5, an exotic floral blend, created by Ernest Beaux. • Prior to 1850, 70 percent of the clothes worn were handstitched by the people who wore them. Clothes were a commodity, not fashion. • Fashion designers of the 1500s showed their designs by crafting doll clothes versions of their fashions and taking them to shows. • It's only quite recently, about 200 years, that children have had clothes distinct from those of adults. Earlier, they just wore smaller sizes. • The Phoenicians of 2300 B.C. favored a simple garment made from a triangular piece of cotton, for both sexes. It draped across one shoulder. ulcers, wounds from caesarean sections and other kinds of surgical wounds. Other infectious diseases also treated with honey include anthrax, urinary tract infections, meningitis, respiratory infections and sore throat. It is the antibiotic property of honey that makes it useful for treating infections. All honey should be eaten raw, as cooked honey

has no beneficial enzymes. Wild honey is also preferable to any other kind. Honey is inappropriate for children under the age of one due to potential contamination with toxic substances. And toxic honeys are possible if collected from toxic pollens. Contact Dr Mannu For A Full Body Diagnostic Scan and Therapy.


Friday, November 23, 2012

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Please help to ease my daughter’s pain Q

This is a question and a cry for help to Dr Machi. My daughter who is 51 has just been diagnosed with ‘Fibromyalgia’. She has had all the symptoms for a least 20 old years, but only in the last few months they had told her what it is. The consultant said that there is nothing they can do for it, but for her to take paracetamol. She has not been able to work now for 2 years, as she has pains obviously all over her body, cannot sleep, and loses concentration, memory blanks out and no energy whatsoever. I have looked on so many web sites but their does not seem to be anywhere we can go to get some help to relieve this terrible illness. Please can you help? Even if it is to enable us to contact a consultant in the Kent area. They say go to talk groups but she is in the stage now where she has not got the patience to talk to people. Please help urgently if you can. A worried mum. It’s a shame your daughter has only just been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, having suffered with the symptoms for so many years. The cause of Fibromyalgia Syndrome (FMS) is not well known, and it has been linked to several health problems such as traumatic injuries, Adrenal gland dysfunction, Endocrine gland disorders, Sleep disorders as well as Emotional, Physical and Mental Stress. However scientists are now starting to understand what goes wrong in the body when it succumbs to fibromyalgia. It is now thought to arise from a miscommunication between the

A

nerve fibres in the brain, as well as an imbalance in the endocrine function of the body. In fact, many of the most common symptoms of fibromyalgia such as muscle pain, fatigue, poor sleep, depression, and digestive problems also occur in various diseases of the nervous and endocrine systems. What happens in fibromyalgia is that the nerves become excitable, causing an increase in pain sensation. And so people suffering from fibromyalgia have a reduction in their pain threshold, an increased response to painful stimulation, and a much longer persistence in their duration of pain. Furthermore, individuals with fibromyalgia have certain chemical imbalances such as high levels of the chemicals Substance P and Nerve Growth Factor (NGF). There is also a reduction in the levels of serotonin. Increased levels of substance P increases the sensitivity of the nerves to pain, and NGF leads to an increase in substance P levels. Serotonin reduces the sensation of pain by blocking substance P. Serotonin also helps regulate digestion, sleep, mood and mental clarity. When the body is put under stressful situations which can be emotional or physical, it releases the hormones adrenaline, cortisol and insulin. And these stress hormones stimulate the brain to secrete serotonin. However when the stress continues unabated, it depletes the body’s serotonin stores. In fibromyalgia, there is also a disorder in the brain pathway known as the HypothalamusPituitary-Adrenal Axis (HPA). This pathway is like the body’s master computer, continuously

receiving information about the state of the body, and able to make the necessary changes if anything drifts out of line. It regulates such bodily functions as blood pressure (often low in fibromyalgia), Digestion, SleepWake cycles, Heart Rate (irregular heartbeats are common in FMS), Balance and Co-ordination, Thyroid and Adrenal hormones. The dysfunctions in the nervous and endocrine systems feed-off each other in fibromyalgia, giving rise to a vicious cycle of worsening symptoms. Chronic stress disrupts the function of the HPA pathway, which in turn disrupts the sleep cycles. The resulting poor sleep reduces the production of growth hormone, leading to poor repair of damaged muscle fibres, poor memory, fatigue, and more pain. Increased pain further disrupts sleep causing depletion in serotonin stores. A reduction in serotonin causes an increase in Substance P, causing even more pain. Because there is a better understanding of the cause of fibromyalgia, it has now become possible to alleviate the symptoms and even cure it. Since low levels of serotonin plays a significant role in the development of fibromyalgia, restoring the ‘serotonin bank’ of the body helps manage the condition. The most natural source of serotonin is the amino acid Tryptophan. It is found in whole grains, rice, chick peas, meat and fish. However the only way to get adequate amounts is to take supplements. In the body, tryptophan is converted to serotonin. Tryptophan should never be taken with

a number of medications, especially antidepressants known as SSRI’s (selective serotonin re-uptake inhibitors). Fibromyalgia is also commonly associated with the poor absorption of minerals and vitamins. Vitamin B12 is low in fibromyalgia, and is needed by the body to improve energy levels and brain function. Magnesium deficiency is also a common occurrence in fibromyalgia, and studies have shown that the lower the levels of magnesium, the more fatigue a sufferer feels. The best form of supplemental magnesium is its combination with Malic acid known as Magnesium Malate. Malic acid plays a vital role in the production of energy, and many studies have demonstrated a reduction in the symptoms of fibromyalgia with Magnesium Malate. Acetyl-L-Carnitine is a natural amino acid found in the body, and involved in the production of energy. Researchers have noted that people with fibromyalgia are low in acetyl-Lcarnitine and that supplementation may improve musculoskeletal pain, depression, as well as general and mental health. Furthermore a study from Italian scientists reported that fibromyalgia sufferers supplementing with 1.5 g of Acetyl-L-Carnitine showed tremendous improvement in their symptoms in 10 weeks. Other important nutrients are Co-enzyme Q 10 for energy, SAMe (S-adenosylmethionine) to relieve stress, depression and pain, and Vitamin E, which has also been shown to improve fibromyalgia symptoms.


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Friday, November 23, 2012

RICHARD CAVENDER

Bluemoon Solutions www.bluemoonsolutions.es

BlueMoon Solutions is the computer and IT services company on the Costa Blanca, they provide quality computer services at realistic prices and specialise in working with home users and small businesses.

Richard moved to Spain seven years ago having left his management background behind in the UK and decided to use his IT skills to help home users and small businesses with their PC problems. Now a relaxed 'computer man' he is out and about in the Spanish sun every day, making house and shop calls and using his vast experience and qualifications to (usually) sort out the problem there and then. Computers are his hobby as well as his work so don’t be surprised to get an answer to your email in the early hours!

ADVICE: Derek wanted to know why his Hotmail still ADVICE: Pamela was having problems with booking offered the email addresses of deleted contacts medical appointments online.

Q A

Hi Richard, I use Hotmail and if I delete a contact I go to my contact list and delete it there. It disappears from my contact list but when I go to send an e-mail and type an initial in the “to” screen the deleted contact is still there. I check my e-mails online. Hope this is enough info. for you. Derek

Hi Derek, many apologies for the delayed reply, it’s been quite busy recently. What you are talking about here are two very different things (and don’t worry many people, understandably, get them mixed up). The first is the list of contacts in your Hotmail email, these are the people that you have decided to add to your address book or have been added because you have ticked the box to do so after sending an email to them for the first time. These people can be managed from within Hotmail by clicking on the “contact” link and from there you can add additional contact information (address, phone number etc) or add / remove them from distribution groups (i.e. if you wanted to send jokes onto a whole bunch of people easily this is the way to do it). The second is the function that offers email addresses to you when you start to type the name or email address in the “to or cc” field of a Hotmail email, this function is called “auto complete” and is a list of email addresses remembered by Hotmail from any person you have previously emailed – the two functions (contacts and auto correct) are not normally linked and this is why, when you delete a contact from your contact list, the email address doesn’t disappear from your auto complete function. Now, having said all of that, you CAN link the two together to achieve what you, quite understandably, assume should happen, to do that, if you have already been moved over to Outlook, you need to… 1. After logging on, click on the wrench at the top of the screen (its Options, More Options if you are still in the old Hotmail system) 2. Click on Advanced Privacy Settings 3. Ensure that only the option “Only suggest people in my contact list” is selected in the AutoComplete Suggestions section 4. Click Save Then you should only receive auto-correct suggestions from those people that are in your contact list.

Hello Richard. A while ago you posted some very helpful information about booking appointments on line for the local health centres. All has been well up to now but something has changed on the Valencian Communidad healthcare website. Both Firefox & IE refuse to let you into the site because of certification problems, rendering the website totally useless! You are not even given the chance to override, its total refusal to open. Is there a setting change that might allow access to the site? Or do we have to go back to the old way of queuing? Hope not! Best wishes Pam

Q A

Hi Pam, thanks for writing. This has all been caused by the Spanish authorities not keeping the security certificates up to date on their websites - it’s causing chaos! There is, you will be pleased to hear, a way around it. First you need to copy the following to your clipboard by highlighting it carefully and pressing CTRL + C (or right hand click it and press copy)... https://www.tramita.gva.es/tramitacion/app?_clase=citaPrevSIP&_servicio=iniciartramite&_estilopropio=S&_idioma=1 ... then in Firefox do the following... 1. Click Tools, Options, Advanced, Encryption 2. Click View Certificates 3. Click Add Exception Now in the "location" section, remove everything already in there and paste in the text that you earlier copied by pressing CTRL + V or right hand clicking and pressing paste, then click on get certificate and then "confirm security exception" - then you are done, just click to close each of the open windows to take you back to the main browser window. You will now be able to use the website normally, or alternatively you can go direct to... https://www.tramita.gva.es/tramitacion/app?_clase=citaPrevSIP&_servicio=iniciartramite&_estilopropio=S&_idioma=1 ...and not through the usual website, and book your appointments. With chrome, you should be able to just go to the above website address and just accept the prompt about it being an insecure site, this might be easier than jumping through the hoops that are required by Firefox?

Don’t forget you can follow me on twitter @bluemoonspain Alternately why don’t you sign up for my newsletter. You can do this by going to:www.bluemoonsolutions.es and fill in the form that is on any page except the front page.

ADVICE: Trevor wanted to know how to remove Internet Explorer 9

Q A

Hi Richard, how does one uninstall Internet Explorer, I have opened add and remove but cannot find IX on the lists of downloads. Many Thanks Trevor

Hi Trevor, you can use these steps to remove Internet Explorer 9… 1. Click the Start button, type Programs and Features in the search box and click on the link to the same when it appears 2. Click View installed updates in the left pane. 3. Under Uninstall an update, scroll down to the Microsoft Windows section. 4. Right-click Windows Internet Explorer 9, click Uninstall, and then, when prompted, click Yes. Hope this helps.

office@bluemoonsolutions.es www.bluemoonsolutions.es Mobile: 655 044 970

Office: 902 906 200


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Friday, November 23, 2012

Men count cost of ladies’ booby trap.. THANK goodness I'm a man. At least I'm not looking at other men's clothes, tan and boob size all day long. What am I on about? Well, half of 2,000 women polled by an online retailing company said they 'enjoy' comparing themselves to women they work with, befriend or pass in the street. And the beach is the place where most female ogling goes on, 80 per cent of those polled saying they love having a good look at other women when they are sunbathing. The top ten things women are ogling on other females is: 1. Clothes, 2. Hairstyle, 3. Tan, 4. Size, 5. Cleavage, 6. Cellulite, 7. Hair colour, 8. Boob size, 9. Shoes, 10. Bag. It all smacks of being a rather sad indictment on women. Ask me what my best male friends were wearing last time I saw them and I wouldn't have a clue. We're more likely to be checking whether we can afford the next such extravagance of our partner. If they’d stop ogling, comparing and being jealous of other women it might help men with the strain on our wallets. Here's are some of the online comments from men: No wonder women don't get much done through the day - they haven’t got the time! (I'm joking. ummm....or am I?) "And why do they want to out-do each other? To see who's going to get first grab of the men, or the men's wallets (more likely)." "Woman are shallow, inse-

cure and fickle. All stems from being the less dominant sex, so have to out-do themselves because they can't out-do men." And last word from a 32year-old woman..."I admit I look at women too, the only reason being that I have started to find women more intriguing than men." How about all that for stirring up a hornets' nest? NOW on to something more worrying. In the mass of economic data from the Bank of England last week, one thing stuck out alarmingly for me. Almost a third of UK small firms were teetering on the brink of disaster - carrying large debt, and scarcely able to continue in business. One small rise in interest rates could push them over the edge in their thousands. Little wonder that banks are reluctant to lend more to such firms - and who can blame them? Keep all this in mind and then ponder the revelation that many international firms are avoiding UK corporation tax by running their businesses from tax havens. This is a double whammy for Britain. Obviously, it denies the Treasury much-needed revenue and everyone else has to make up the shortfall. But more importantly, it puts those firms at an obvious advantage over UK-based companies who are paying full tax. Enough is enough - the likes of Amazon, Google and Starbucks should be brought to heel. I've said for years that these tax havens, which allow

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the world's richest people and international companies to hide away from their moral responsibilities, should be sorted out. The cash squirreled away in these tax havens would, if released, cure much of the world's economic ills. Perhaps it's time for governments to publish the trading names of all these greedy and anti-social companies, so that people power can reign supreme. The latest employment statistics show there are a third fewer financial whizz-kids employed in London now than before the crash. Good riddance, you may say. But what's happening is that these international financial institutions are being lured to switch their operations to the Far East or America, where banker bashing isn't rife and political parties are not trying to squeeze more and more tax from them. It means less money being spent in London, less tax revenue, and firms who rely on the big City spenders are starting to struggle. In time it will hit property values and the rot will spread out of London to the commuter belt. Politicians take note - stop the banker bashing and accept (especially Labour) that you were partly responsible for what happened. Because it was you who failed to keep both eyes on the ball and that's what you were elected and paid to do. SAD to see the litigation culture is alive and well in Britain. A 79-year-old woman fell and seriously injured herself while shopping

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in Morrisons. She was stretching to reach a pork pie on a shelf and failed to notice a low bed trolley (the sort widely used in IKEA and Homebase). She has been awarded £44,000 damages, and Morrisons have to pay an estimated £200,000 in legal costs. The trolley had been used by a supermarket shelf stacker until she was called away to deal with a customer query. This attitude in Britain (it came from America) that an accident is always someone else's fault is wrong. It's sad that this woman was injured, but the trolley was not invisible and people should look where they are going. Put frankly, the trolley was clearly there to be seen and if someone is not paying sufficient

attention, then that's their silly fault. This sort of litigation should be stopped. However. there's one area of litigation which I am totally in favour of. To be wrongly accused of being a paedophile, as Lord McAlpine was, must be the worst libel possible. I wish him every success in suing all and sundry for it and I hope it teaches a lot of stupid people a lesson. Sadly the likes of the BBC, ITV and Twitter will have libel cover in place and it will be the insurance companies which take the hit. I would like to see companies and individuals who think they can damage people's reputations and get away with it, so seriously financially damaged that they learn a lesson they never forget.

AND finally, isn't it appalling that the crazy q UK government can squander £100m on holding failed elections for police commissioners that no-one really wanted. Just £1m could have got a lot of people back into work. In the good old days councils had Watch Committees to oversee the actions of police and emergency services. They worked well and if police in a certain area were not performing well they would jolly quickly say so. They were also open to the public and press. All that needed to be done was to strengthen the powers of these committees so they could really hold chief constables to account. One good thing came out of it, though - that Labour twit Prescott wasn't elected.


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Friday, November 23, 2012

Focus on

LA FUENTE C.C.

With Christmas looming on us fast, there has never been a better time to pay a visit to “La Fuente” Commercial Centre, where a range of businesses are eager to assist in your festive planning. From organising and pampering for the office party to purchasing the perfect gift, you’ll have everything at your fingertips at La Fuente!

The modern La Fuente Commercial Centre is situated in an idyllic location, with the front entrance facing towards the prestigious Campoamor Golf Course and in close proximity to Las Ramblas. Spread over a series of staggered floors, the centre is home to a wealth of professional businesses and services, which have been a godsend to the residents living in the vicinity and provide a pleasant day out for visitors. The ground floor is home to a variety of bars and restaurants serving all kinds of foods, with “The Stone Grill” being a firm favourite for those with a good appetite. Serving the finest cuts of meat, cooked just as you like them, this is quite simply a meat-eaters paradise, with plenty of delicious options available for the vegetarians among us too! Advancing to the next level, you will find professional Real Estate Agents, “Magellan”, which is located beside the Pharmacy. With a multilingual team and connections with Agents from all over Europe, this is the first place to come if hoping to buy or sell your Spanish home. Popular, fine-dining

Restaurant, “Crystals”, is located on the same floor, and the perfect place to celebrate all of your special occasions. Whilst the restaurant is elegantly decorated, and food exquisite, the prices are extremely reasonably, allowing you to dine in style, without denting the budget. Friendly Bar and Restaurant “Viva la Vida” is only a stones throw away. Offering a warm atmosphere, tasty menu and varied entertainment programme, this is the perfect place to sit and watch the world go by! A selection of shops, selling anything from clothing and accessories to electrical goods, can also be found on the same level. Among these is the fabulous “Tiger Feet” Boutique, offering a selection of stylish ladies and men’s wear for all occasions. And as we enter the Christmas party season, there you have the perfect excuse to treat yourself to a stunning new outfit! Within the boutique, you can also find reliable satellite television company “Cloud Nine”. The company uses only the highest quality F a m a v e l Portuguese dishes, with a range of attractive package options available to suit clients’ individual needs.

Crystals European Restaurant of The Year Here at Crystals we pride ourselves on being different, from the design of the restaurant to the quality of food that we serve and we are fast becoming known as the best kept secret on the Costa. Our Menu del Noche has become very popular with the residents here in Spain, offering a set menu of two courses of very high standards for 12.50euros or why not try our new Early Evening Special, 2 course set menu including small beer or a glass of wine 9.50 euro served 6pm - 8pm We are a 90+seat restaurant so we can cater for the larger private parties. Our friendly and attentive staff are always there to help you to have a night to remember. So if you are looking for that special place to take a loved one then you need look no further than Crystals Restaurant A Simple touch of class

Viva La Vida

Viva la Vida is perfectly situated at the forefront of the La Fuente Commercial Centre.It was established over 3 years ago, by Business Owners, Jim and Paul, who were joined by Partner, Eddie, earlier this year. Together, the team have transformed the bar into a welcoming meeting point for local people, who they have come to regard as friends. It is not only the friendly atmosphere that draws in the punters, but also the delicious homemade food, which includes Traditional English breakfasts, lunchtime snacks and a special daily menu, priced at only 5 euros and available from 14:00 until 18:00. Those looking for a more substantial meal can also dig into a variety of platters such as succulent sirloin steaks, chops and ribs. Viva la Vida is famous for its delicious Sunday Roasts, served with all the tasty trimmings, and available from 14:00. The pleasant south facing terrace is the perfect place to while away the afternoons and take advantage of their “Happy Hour”, which takes place daily between 16:00 and 19:00. During this period, customers can enjoy all of their favourite tipples at unbeatable prices, offering them the perfect excuse to stay a little longer! Viva la Vida is open daily from 10:00 until late. They are currently taking bookings for Christmas parties and early booking is recommended as places are limited. For all reservations call Eddie on 966 848 718.

Finally, situated right next door to Tiger Feet is your opportunity to check out from reality for a while and enjoy a little luxury at “Escape”. This wonderful Hair and Beauty Salon offers a plethora of treatments and techniques which are guaranteed to leave you looking and feeling like a new person! If you have yet to discover this lively Commercial Centre, then there is no time like the present. Whether shopping by day or dining out in the evening, a good time is always guaranteed at La Fuente! To get to La Fuente from the N-332, take the new junction at Cabo Roig, following signs for Campoamor. At the mini roundabout take the second exit, signposted to San Miguel. Continue along the road and over the bypass, to a large roundabout, where you will take the second exit past a small commercial centre, following signs for Campoamor Golf course. Pass Las Ramblas Golf Resort and continue over the canal with the Campoamor Golf Course on your left handside. You will see the Commercial Centre at the top of the bank, with ample parking on both sides.


Friday, November 23, 2012

Focus on

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LA FUENTE C.C.

Tiger Feet – the pad for Santa claws! Popular Fashion Boutique, Tiger Feet, extends a fabulous range of men’s and ladies clothing that you won’t find anywhere else! Business Owners Julia and Alan Scott ensure that the boutique is always stocked with the hottest trends in clothing, footwear and accessories, including the latest range of men’s shirts in sizes from slim fit to 3XL. Tiger Feet is the ideal place to purchase your Christmas party outfit; and the boutique has even introduced a fantastic range of greetings cards and gift vouchers for special occasions so is a great place to start your Christmas shopping! Winter opening hours are 11:00 – 18:00 Monday to Saturday and 14:00 - 18:00 on Sundays. For more information please telephone 965 320 900.

Reach for the Sky from Cloud Nine! Cloud Nine Satellite Systems is a professional company, specialising in high quality satellite TV installations. Owner Alan Scott has been in business on the Costa Blanca for seven years, and has a wealth of experience in the industry. Cloud Nine operates out of Tiger Feet Fashion Boutique in La Fuente Commercial Centre, where Alan will be pleased to discuss your requirements and give a demonstration of the system in operation within their office. The company arranges both community and individual installations, and can supply a full range of HD boxes that accept the white sky cards. All dishes are manufactured by Famaval Portuguese and come with a 2 year guarantee on all equipment. Package Options are available with 1.4, 1.9 & 2.4m dishes. Plus, there are no monthly payments and no re- broadcasting! For more information or a FREE SURVEY please call the office on 965 320 900 or mobile 600 856 937.

Escape to a real pampering… Escape Hair and Beauty Salon opened its doors 6 months ago, and has become THE place to go to get pampered. Business Owner Mandy offers a wide range of treatments including gel nail extensions, manicures, pedicures, spray tanning, holistic massage therapy, hot stone therapy, waxing, tinting, as well as Unisex Hairdressing including tints, foils, extensions. Specialist services include Botox, dermal filler, teeth whitening and gastric band fills, whilst the salon is now proud to introduce a professional spiritual healing and counselling service, which is available by appointment only. You can find them on the upper level of the La Fuente Commercial Centre. So why not Escape from reality for a while, and indulge in a glass of wine as Mandy works her magic.

There’s More to Get Your Teeth into at The Stone Grill!

The Stone Grill is quite simply a meat-eaters paradise, with a variety of moth-watering dishes which will really put your appetite to the test. Their signature Argentinian steaks are the most tender and most succulent cuts of meat you will find on the Costa Blanca. Each steak is presented to you on an individual hot volcanic rock, heated to optimum temperature. Every piece you cut will be almost instantaneously cooked to your own personal perfection. Due to the high temperature of the stones, each cut of meat is sealed ensuring that all the flavours and juices get trapped inside, making the steak truly succulent. Prices start from only 12.40 for an Argentinian rump steak, including any side order and 3 sauces. If you are not quite the carnivore, chicken, pork and local seafood dishes are also all available on the stone. Vegetarian options are available. The Stone Grill welcome group bookings and can tailor a Christmas menu to your needs. Open Monday to Sunday: 6pm - 10pm. So why not try something different and call 656 613 356 to book!

Magellan are best in any language Magellan Properties has been established for many years and become one of the most successful and reliable estate agents in the area. The International Office welcomes clients of all nationalities, who are based both in Spain and abroad, and the multilingual team is able to converse in Russian, German and Scandinavian languages as well as in English and Spanish. The company is pleased to market your property, and operates a “no sale, no fee” policy, so you simply cannot lose by placing your trust in them. They have a particular interest in properties within the nearby Las Ramblas Golf Resort. For further information please contact them on 965 322 834; email them at sales@magallan-sl.com; or consult the website www.magellan.es.

We accept group bookings. Open Monday to Sunday 6pm till 10pm Call for reservations. 656 613 356


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Friday, November 23, 2012


Friday, November 23, 2012

SPANISH NEWS

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IF YOU’RE RICH YOU CAN STAY SPAIN is considering automatically granting residence cards to foreigners who buy homes valued at over 160,000 euros, as part of a plan to reduce the vast stock of unsold housing which built up during the property boom. The measure is aimed mainly at the Chinese and Russian markets. Housing minister Jaime GarcíaLegaz said: “We are thinking of markets such as China and Russia, where there is growing demand for housing in Spain. In a few weeks’ time, a reform of the law regarding foreigners will be put in place to reactivate overseas demand and contribute toward reducing the stock of housing.’’ He added the arrangement would mirror similar agreements established in Portugal, Ireland and the United States. García-Legaz said the valuation figure would be set with a view to sparking an increase in demand for residence permits. “You can’t place a lower price limit because this would generate massive demands for residence permits with housing being the excuse to obtain them,” he said, adding that given the state of the economy and credit restrictions, domestic demand for houses has stagnated. Foreign Minister José Manuel

POPULATION OF SPAIN ‘TO DWINDLE 10% Automatic residency IN 40 YEARS’

lure to home buyers

García-Margallo told Congress earlier this month that the government was speeding up processing residence permits for foreigners acquiring property assets in Spain. Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy confirmed that the measure was being studied but added that no decision had been taken. He said it was important to reduce the stock of unsold houses in the country. It is not yet clear how Spain would implement the proposal, but it would involve creating a special temporary residence permit for such investors, as Portugal did last August.

The Portuguese law grants residence rights to foreigners who buy a property valued at over 500,000 euros, to those who transfer one million euros into the country and to those who set up a company that hires more than 30 employees. The difference is that people with this profile do not have to spend at least six months and a day a year in Portugal, as is the case with other foreign residents. Instead, after having made their investment, they only need to spend 30 days a year in the country in the first year of residence and 60 days in the second.

Invest in jobs and business, EU tells Spain If Spain wants to recover from the economic crisis, Mariano Rajoy’s government should concentrate more on investing in job incentives and support for medium sized businesses, rather than spending money on roads and other building projects. The European Union, has told Madrid it wants to begin negotiations aimed at

promoting a more efficient use of the funds it will dole out in the coming years. European institutions are busy working on a plan to help Spain improve the way it uses EU money to be assigned for the 2014-2020 period. The commission wants to guarantee that the funds will go to where they are most needed to help the country emerge from the cri-

sis.Johannes Hahn, the European commissioner for regional policy, commented: "In Spain there has been a lot of investment in infrastructure -- some has been useful; other cases, let's say, are debatable. But what it hasn't done much is invest in people or small business. "This is something that the current government needs to understand and it should be

an absolute priority in upcoming European budgets." One of the EC's priorities will be to see that Spain reduces the unemployment rate, especially in the under-25 age group. Hahn believes the EC will be able to obtain a commitment from the Spanish government over the use of funds by the first half of next year.

SPAIN’S population looks set to decrease by a massive 10 per cent in the next 40 years. The shock contraction is largely due to the fact that Spanish families are having fewer and fewer children than 20 years ago – and at an older age. If current trends continue, the overall figure should drop for the first time next year, and continue to fall over the following four decades. It is estimated that by 2052, the 46 million population will have fallen by 4.5 million. The number of births forecast for 2021 is 375,159 - 20 percent lower than this year. Through to 2031, 7.7 million births are expected, nine percent fewer than over the past 20 years. Life expectancy will reach an average of 86.9 years for men in 2051 and 90.7 for women.

The INE’s census also points to a negative migratory balance in Spain this year, with 376,696 immigrants arriving but 558,175 leaving the country as a result of the ongoing economic crisis. An estimated 5.2 million residents could leave over the next 10 years and 18.1 million by 2052. This will be offset by an expected influx of 3.9 million over the next decade and 16.7 million in 40 years, mostly from the European Union, South America and Africa. Murcia, Andalusia and the Balearic and Canary Islands, along with the enclaves of Ceuta and Melilla, are the only areas which will see an increase in population. The biggest depletion will be in Galicia, Castilla y León, Asturias, the Basque Country, Aragon, Extremadura, Cantabria and La Rioja,


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Friday, November 23, 2012

A DRIVE TO TREASURE Tyler all set for FOR THE KIDS’ HOME Moto success By HEIDI WARDMAN

IT was a race against time at El Toro Carvery on Saturday as avid bounty hunters set out on their exciting Charity Treasure Hunt. It was a wacky start to the weekend at the popular restaurant in Torremendo, San Miguel de Salinas, as a row of cars took their marks for the opening of The Great Treasure Hunt By Car. The event was organised by Keith Barry of Professional Business Support based in Aguas Nuevas, and sponsored by The Courier, El Toro Carvery and Radio Torrevieja, with the aim of raising money for Elche Children’s Home. People from all over the province travelled to support the event, and were extremely enthusiastic as they set out with their thinking caps on, quiz questions and maps in hand. Roisin and her Dad (pictured) travelled all the way from Oliva, to the north of Benidorm, to join in the fun! The time taken to complete the course varied from 90 minutes to three hours, two teams correctly

Terry winner time and winner

Cook of the trials raffle Ed

UNUSUAL TWIST: Roisin and her Dad came all the way from Oliva

answering 100% if the questions. Sadly there could only be one winner - Terry Cook and his team taking the honours as first to return. All the hard work was finally rewarded with a delicious and well-deserved roast carvery buffet. Naturally the aim of the game was not in winning or losing, but rather raising as much money as possible

for the Children’s Home. Organiser Keith was pleased to announce that the combined sum collected from car entrance fees and the sale of raffle tickets was €150. The sum was bumped up with a surprise donation from ‘Lord Howie’, who threw an extra €350 into the pot to give a grand total of €500. The organisers would like to

express their appreciation to all who took part, with a special thank you to the Solitaire Singles club for their support.

B Y  H E I D I  W A R D M A N A talented local boy, Tyler Graves, may have already discovered his niche in life at the age of just six! Tyler began riding his treasured MX50cc Automatic Motorcross bike during February of this year, when he joined the “Club Moto Sport Carreres” which is based in Crevillente, participating in the 6 – 9 year age group. He soon became a fully licenced member of the “Federation of Motorcross Valencia” which enabled him to participate in the Regional Championships, and following success at meetings in Altea, Albaida, Vinaros and Requena has now placed 4th in the Competition! The final leg of the race for first place will take place in Guardamar on November 25. Tyler will be seen wearing a number 55 shirt and there are three other boys from the Vega Baja who are also competing in various classes of the championships: David Martinez Braceras (MX65cc) from Guardamar; Kim Eric Savaste from Torrevieja and Mario Lucas Sanz from Almoradi (MX85). The Championship Final commences at 10:00 and entry is free. It is set

to be lots of fun for all of the family and all are encouraged to head down to the track to show their support! The track can be found by following the CV895 to Guardamar, and taking a left turn onto the camino road left after the Chinese restaurant. For further details or to print off a route map please log onto the website www.fmcv.es and then click on Motorcross de Guardamar de Segura.

Top choir on song for the needy A VARIED programme of entertaining music awaits theatre-goers next month when one of the Costa Blanca’s leading choirs appears in concert in Torrevieja. The 30 to 35 members of the Orihuela Costa Male Voice Choir will be singing at a charity concert at the Virgin Del Carmen Theatreon Friday, December 7 starting at 8pm. There will be appearances by guest artistes Mary Beer and Janelle Gaskell. It is the first major concert hosted by the Torrevieja-based International Chrstian Assembly church and proceeds will go to Reach Out. This charity is struggling to help the growing number of local people desperately in need, many having lost their jobs and some having lost their

homes or about to be made homeless due to the recession. The choir, under musical director Nigel Hopkins, is of mixed nationality, but the vast majority of the songs in this secular programme will be in English. Nigel promises an evening of "thoroughly entertaining music sung for a very worthwhile cause". The Orihuela Costa Male Voice Choir has been gaining increasing popularly locally and is planning a UK tour next year. Tickets are now available from Jayne's hairdressers in Playa Flamenca, Reach Out charity shop in Torrevieja, and the ICA church through Pete Goodyer (tel: 968978139) or on the door, subject to availability.

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THE first Intercambio Spanish-English session took place in Playa Flamenca. The sessions were initiated by Pedro Mancebo, Oriheula’s councillor for the coast, tourism and infrastructures, and organised by Denise Wesserling, co-ordinator for foreign residents. Further sessions will be for residents who only have free time in the evening and Denise will do her utmost to find a suitable partner for those who wish to learn or practise a different language. If you have already sent your contact details to Denise you will be contacted shortly. For further details or to take part please contact Denise on 966 760 000 ext: 34 or via e-mail: dwesserling@orihuela.es


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Friday, November 23, 2012

TORRY SWIMMERS SCOOP THE POOL

THE SCENE IN SHORT q

TORRENTIAL rain and a lack of wind on the Mar Menor reduced the seventh day of the SAMM autumn sailing series to just one race on Sunday. Sailfish Mistral, with Robert Hudson at the helm and Don Clarke crew, won on corrected times with Sailfish Sirocco (Vincent O’Brien, Terry Chapman, Vic Burgess) second.

q TORREVIEJA Masters swimmers Beth Altabas, Gillian McNiece, Vicki Connolly and Rafael Bordes won five five firsts, plus a second, third and sixth place across the eight events they entered in Elda . Beth earned two new Valencian records in the 65-plus 100 m medley

and breaking her own record by 18 seconds in the 400 m freestyle. Gillian McNiece won the 35-plus 100 m backstroke and 100 m freestyle, while Vicki took first and second place in the 45-plus 100m and 400 m freestyle. Finally, Rafael was third in the men’s 35plus 100 m breaststroke and sixth in the 50m

freestyle. The Torrevieja club’s 1220 age group also did well in their first league event at Petrer. Nadya Cheetham, Piroska Rideg, Konstantin Badminov and Yuriy Limar improved on their personal best times, as did juniors Ruth Brassington, Julia Lopez and Alexander Timmerman.

For more information regarding Torrevieja Swimming Club please contact Rosa - 665454126 or President Felipe on 609418776 or e-mail info@clubnataciontorrevieja.com Pictured, from left, are Gillian McNiece, Rafael Bordes, Vicki Connolly and Beth Altabas.

Easy Horse Foundation gallops into a new era THE Easy Horse Care Rescue Centre has opened the door to becoming a more serious player in the world of horse rescue and animal welfare. Founders Sue and Rod Weeding have signed the deeds for a Foundation. This will see Easy Horse officials collaborating and working together with the

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Spanish local and national governments, as well as lobbying at the European Parliament. Sue recently travelled to London and met Baroness Mallalieu, chair of the All Party Parliamentary Group for horses. Speaking with her at the palace of Westminster, she told the Baroness all about the

Centre’s work and her plans for campaigning for better horse welfare. Sue revealed: “She was very interested in the work we do as she lobbies for horse welfare in the EU and so her goals are very similar to ours . She has said she will help and advise us in any way she can.” Rod and Sue have gifted

MARK Lewis and his daughter Yvonne, who run the Pets in Spain charity, raised more than €570 from a raffle at last Saturday’s sell-out show at the Restaurante Los Rosales in Guardamar. A packed house enjoyed an electric evening of Beatles music by The Liverpool Band, who will be returning to the Lemon Tree Road venue in the New Year. If your charity would like to be invited to one of the shows or for details of events at Restaurante Los Rosales, email losrosaleshows@gmail.com or call 697501992.

their premises to the Foundation, thus ensuring it will be a permanent home for the rescued animals living there (currently 51 horses, ponies and donkeys). This will also serve as the main rescue centre and head office. A second rescue centre is opening very soon at Villa Vera and more centres will follow.

THE Gran Alacant Branch of the Royal British Legion in Spain would like to thank manager Alistair Wilson, his staff and customers at Iceland (Overseas) in San Fulgencio. Together they raised €2,226.75 for the Poppy Appeal. On behalf of our beneficiaries, many, many thanks.

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OVER 50 and want to know if you’re affected by the recent changes to winter fuel payment? Need a prescription charge claim form? Age Concern Costa Blanca Sur can help and is open at La Marina Ayuntamiento (Town Hall Annex) from 10am to 1pm on the second and fourth Friday of every month. Telephone: 966109228. Head Office: Urb. La Siesta C.I.F. G53280376 Tel. 96678687.

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THE Rascals will be Rocking Around the Christmas Tree in their sing-along show “ Disney Delights and Christmas Crackers” next month. They take the stage at the School of Culture and Music Theatre in Los

Montesinos on Sunday December 2 (7pm) and then on Tuesday December 14 at the Virgen Del Carmen theatre in Torrevieja (7.30pm). Tickets from Sue on 96 678 4874 or Jill on 966 7272 82.

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The Los Alcázares Digital Camera Club (LADCC) will be running a series of training courses starting in February. The objective of the courses is to show members how to produce expert pictures by understanding the basic rules of photography, their cameras and the use of photo editing with commercial software. The training courses will commence in February and be open to all members of LADCC. For more details of the courses, the club or how to become a member please contact Derek on 968 546 866 or Mike on 968 582 217. The club website is www.ladigitalcafe.webeden.co.uk/ .

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THE Royal British Legion´s bowls team, the Legionnaires, played a friendly bowls match against the Emerald Isle, La Florida. Emerald Isle won 6 Rinks (187 points) The Legionnaires won 1 rink and drew 1 rink (93 points). The winning team was Anne McRay, Brian Coultate, and Allan Budd. Anyone wishing to join the Legionnaires Bowls Team will be most welcome. Please ring Dianne or Allan Budd on 966716931.


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November 23, Friday, December 16, 2012 2011

UK HEADLINES XX

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The Sun

IN LOVE -DEAD OVER HEELS!

A WOMAN is accused of hoarding human skulls and bones in her flat – to have SEX with. The alleged necrophiliac, 37, kept at least six skulls, one spine and “a large number of other bones” in a secret compartment, along with a drill, body bags and morgue pictures. Cops found photos of the woman performing sex acts on a skeleton, as well as two CDs entitled “My necrophilia” and “My first experience”. The unnamed woman, from Gothenburg, Sweden, has been charged with “violating the peace of the dead”. Her trial will take place next week and she faces a maximum two years in prison if found guilty. Prosecutor Kristina Ehrenborg-Staffas said the woman had handled the bones in a "shameful" and "unethical" manner. She allegedly wrote on an internet forum: “My morals set my limits and I’m prepared to take the punishment if something should happen. It’s worth it. “I want my man like he is, whether he is dead or alive. He allows me to find sexual happiness on the side.” The woman claims she bought the bones – which were around 50 years old or more and from different parts of the world – over the Internet for historical purposes.

DEAD AT EIGHT DAYS OLD: BITE KILLS BABY Daily Mail A NEWBORN baby boy has died after being bitten just once by his family's pet Jack Russell dog. Eight-day-old Harry Bell died from his injuries after the pet attacked him while he was staying at his grandparents' home. Police and ambulance crews rushed to the semidetached property in Ketley, Telford, Shropshire, just after 8am on Tuesday. But despite the desperate efforts of paramedics to save the child, he died at the Princes Royal Hospital in Telford. Harry's mother Mikayla, 19, was staying with her parents, Gordon Bell, 42, and Teresa, 40, when the attack happened. Police stood guard outside the grandparents' £119,000 three-bedroom semidetached home. Pretty part-time model Mikayla, 19, gave birth to 7lb Harry on November 12 and posted pictures of her new baby on her Twitter page. Posting a picture of her son wearing a cute duck baby-grow, she wrote: 'My life harry 7pounds 12-11-12.' Heartbreakingly, just one day before her son was killed, proud Mikayla wrote: 'Not gonna lie this little boy gets far to [sic] many kisses.' A police spokesman said officers were awaiting the result of a post-mortem examination, and have launched an investigation to establish the precise circumstances of the death. Initial indications however,

Mystery of pet dog’s attack on tot who got ‘far too many kisses’

suggest that the boy died as a result of a dog bite, said police. The spokesman said: 'Police and ambulance were called to an address in Ketley, about a young baby that was unwell. 'He was taken to the Princess Royal Hospital in Telford by paramedics but died soon after. 'As in all cases of the death of a young child, West Mercia Police has launched an investigation to establish the exact circumstances.' It is understood that the dog involved in the incident, thought to be a small family pet and not a dangerous dog, has been put down. Detective Chief Inspector Neil Jamieson said: 'Our investigation is ongoing but it appears that the baby died as a result of a dog bite. 'The dog was a family pet a Jack Russell - and this animal has now been put down.

I’m A Celeb Meltdown I’M A Celebrity chiefs were accused of failing in their duty of care to Brian Conley, as it emerged he quit following a huge collapse. Brian, 51, was taken to hospital in Queensland, Australia, after his condition spiralled out of control. His exit left the ITV show facing its biggest crisis to date over contestants’ fitness to enter the jungle. Brian's shocked wife demanded to know why telly chiefs left her husband in the Aussie jungle for so long.

The actor, singer and presenter quit the reality show after ten days following the collapse and was rushed into hospital. His family landed in Australia and immediately began seeking answers about the dad of two’s sudden health problems. Wife Anne-Marie quizzed staff on an hour-long visit to his Queensland hospital bedside. A show source said: “She couldn’t believe how much he’d changed after ten days in the jungle. He looks really unwell and vulnerable.

“He’s lost a lot of weight and is exhausted. Doctors have prescribed lots of rest until he recovers. Anne-Marie was hugely supportive of Brian’s decision to go on the show, but now you can’t blame her wishing he hadn’t. “She wants to know how this happened and why bosses did not intervene earlier.” As Brian was released from hospital to recover with his family, bosses on I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here! spent hours in crisis talks in a bid to manage the fallout.


Friday, November 23, 2012

UK HEADLINES

31

XX

FIND THIS THUG

That's really thumbthing! Cops hunt coward who KO’d girl, 16 Pensioner Mike hitchhikes

The Mirror

THIS is the shocking moment a vile thug knocks out a teenage girl as she walks innocently down the street. The 16-year-old was savagely attacked from behind in broad daylight, with the man's punch flooring the girl. The victim, who has not been named, was knocked unconscious by the devastating blow. The horrific CCTV footage shows her cowardly attacker turn and run off after she falls to the ground. Police said the incident happened in Plaistow, east London, last Tuesday just after 12.30pm. The girl was walking past the Black Lion pub in Plaistow High Street when she was punched. She was taken to Newham General Hospital

more than 10,000 miles

with bruising and cuts to her head and face, but was released the same day after a series of tests. Police said the suspect followed the girl for around a third of a mile from her

home before attacking her. He was described by police as a "muscularly built" black male with a shaven head, and around 6ft tall. The man was wearing a baseball jacket and

WOMAN, 85, DIES AFTER MUGGING POLICE have launched a murder hunt following the death of an 85-year-old woman who fell to the ground and hit her head when two muggers sneaked up from behind and snatched her handbag. Officers were called to an alleyway in Greenford, west London on Monday afternoon where the woman was found hurt but still conscious after being attacked by the two men. The victim was taken to hospital but her condition

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deteriorated overnight and she died in the early hours of the morning. Detectives are treating her death as murder and are appealing for witnesses. A Scotland Yard spokesman said: 'We understand that two male suspects, who are described as black in appearance, approached the victim from behind and stole her handbag. ‘In the process the victim was assaulted and she fell to the pavement. The

suspects, who were dressed in dark clothing, then ran off. 'Officers who are currently conducting a forensic search of the area have since recovered the handbag.' A post mortem examination is scheduled to take place on Wednesday at Uxbridge Mortuary and the woman's next of kin have been informed. The attack happened close to a primary school.

jeans, and was aged between 25 and 30. Anyone with information is urged to call Newham Violent Crime Unit on 020 8217 5890 or Crime-stoppers anonymously on 0800 555111, quoting reference S/194/12.

IT TOOK Mike Howitt nearly two months to travel from his home in Leicester to Cape Town, to say his last goodbye to his wife Diana. Thumbs up to this 80-year-old grandfather... who hitchhiked the 10,000 miles to South Africa to scatter his late wife’s ashes Mike’smissiontook him from his East Mindlands home all the way to Table Mountain, a place Diana held close to her heart. The pensioner, who passed through 21 countries, said: “From the day I set off down the A47 from Leicester to the day I got to Cape Town, I never felt in danger. “In Kenya I spent 22 hours on a cattle truck. "When we crossed the equator they stopped for me and I was able to scatter some of Diana’s ashes there too.” Mike’s work in the building industry took the couple of 55 years to South Africa 25 times. Mike said: “Diana loved Table Mountain. We spent anniversaries in South Africa and loved the country.” Mike’s 10,642-mile trip raised £6,000 for the Loros hospice where Diana spent her final days before she died of lung disease last year. Fundraiser Christian Wikert-Picker said: “We are delighted Mike completed his journey and we are very grateful.”


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Friday, November 23, 2012


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Friday, November 23, 2012

Horoscopes Aries March 21 - April 19 A lot of your work will be undone today as someone evil and vicious sets about making your life less nice. Wires, connections, switches, plugs, hot burning sensations, melted shoes. It's all a nightmare, and it's coming to visit you. Soon. Thinking and driving at the same time can be hazardous for you today.

Taurus April 20 - May 20 The night may feel like a safe time to parade naked through the local city streets, however, you may find there are some that oppose your freedom. Your spoiled and selfish ways must change if you are to become a better person. You will be loved only for your incredibly large endowments.

Gemini May 21 - June 20 Changing your lifestyle and underwear are always a good start. The gift you have that allows you to speak to the animals will today be unveiled as a fraud. Feel free to go dancing until 3am with various transsexuals at a local notorious disco. Only this way will you be able to say "I've danced till the early morn with some crazy bender lady-boys!"

Cancer June 21 - July 22 Super-hero day is your own invention, and as such not a free-pass to wearing your underwear on the outside. The week may start well, but fall into sharp decline later on Saturday. Whether you want to or not, this week will have a journey in store for you. Nice and butch is how you like it, but you might want to play it down in certain circumstances.

By Pandora Leo July 23 - August 22 Today you will find that your favourite attribute in a person is their ability to tell you how fantastic you are. Banking on anyone this week? Don't let them let you down like they did me. I'm still picking up the pieces of a tattered life. The very thought of coming up with a horoscope for you made me laugh.

Virgo August 23 - September 22 The best of excuses are those that are plausible (so, not ones that involve you, super-powers and hordes of sexy friends). Remember, it's unfair to expect your friends and family to provide you with alibis. Prepare to gape widely at the beautiful horror you'll experience this week.

Libra September 23 - October 22 Flapping your arms like a bird is a good way to call attention to yourself. Scraping the barrel doesn't always mean that you have to consume your own waste. Become as the rabbit. All will become clear as the moon begins its wane. Blimey, you ain't harf as wot you used to, ain't it? Test yourself, know your limits!

Scorpio October 23 - November 21 Giraffes are one of natures most bizarre creatures. Whilst this may seem like a "fact" out of the blue, you'll soon see the relevance over the coming fortnight. Having had a taste of victory last week, this week may seem like the ideal opportunity to go wild. You might find you start aching below the knee today.

Sagittarius November 22 - December 21 This year may seem to have started as you intended, but what's happened since, eh? Nothing. You haven't done anything. Get out there and get something sorted! The feeling you have inside will be thrown into sharp relief when your bowel is emptied. Most of your ideas will turn out to be excellent ones today.

Capricorn December 22 - January 19 Every part of your body will cry out in pain today, although there is no explanation as to why this should be. Danger, excitement, thrills. Even spills. These are buzz words which may catch your attention this week, possibly in the form of a horoscope. Night terrors will plague you throughout this month and you may feel that people, both living and dead, are out to get you.

Aquarius January 20 - February 18 Your learning may give you cause to grieve today as you are unable to stop local flooding using trigonometry alone. Christmas may seem like it's just around the corner, but really that's just nonsense. Today might be a good day to walk around with your arms stretched forwards in a "mummy" style.

Pisces February 19 - March 20 Telling your partner that you are better than they at sex, is probably not going to win you any favours. In all my time I've never had anyone like you reading my horoscopes - you are bedevilled, a hustler of reputation. You are not wanted here. Ten weeks of doing what you do best, and you're still no closer to achieving your goal.


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Friday, November 23, 2012

Squeezed motorists being Jaguar Land ripped-off, the AA warns Rover seals THE motoring group said that the wholesale price of petrol has fallen by around 9 pence a litre over the past month. However, average prices on UK forecourts have fallen by less than 4 pence a litre. Edmund King, the AA’s president, said it “beggars belief” that motorists are paying over the odds. He called on George Osborne to take action to help struggling drivers. The Chancellor is under increasing pressure to drop January’s planned increase in fuel duty, which will add a further 3 pence to a litre of petrol. The AA said that across Europe, the wholesale price of petrol – which is the price that retailers pay for fuel fell from around 54 pence a litre at the beginning of October to around 45 pence a litre by the end. With VAT, this should have knocked average UK petrol prices down by 10p to 11p a litre, the AA said. However the group’s analysis found that petrol

Chinese joint venture

pump prices fell by less than 4p a litre between midOctober and the start of this week. While average petrol prices have gone down from 139 pence a litre in mid October to 135 pence now, diesel prices have dropped from 144 pence a litre to 142 pence. High petrol prices have become an increasingly political issue in recent

months. In the summer The Daily Telegraph revealed that motorists may have been paying too much for their petrol because banks and other traders are likely to have tried to manipulate oil prices in the same way they rigged the Libor interest rate. Concerns about the reliability of oil prices came to light after a report for the G20 found the market is

wide open to “manipulation or distortion”. Mr Osborne has come under growing pressure to drop the forthcoming increase in fuel duty, which will add a further 3 pence to a litre. On Monday business leaders said that the rise should be ditched to save “more pain” being piled on consumers. The AA’s Mr King said that urgent action is needed. “It should beggar belief that, after the trauma of high fuel prices in the spring, the same thing should happen again six months later. “Recent political focus has been on January’s 3.02 pence-a-litre fuel duty increase, either ignoring or unaware that duty’s ugly sister – unrestrained wholesale prices – has been running rampant in the fuel market.”

The investment from the joint venture will include a new manufacturing plant in Changshu, near Shanghai, which is expected to open in 2014. The two companies will also provide a new research and development and engine production facility. Models will be specifically tailored for the Chinese market. “The joint venture will blend together the heritage and experience of luxury premium vehicle manufacturer Jaguar Land Rover with the intricate knowledge and understanding of Chinese customers evident at Chery,” JLR said. The partnership will be known as Chery Jaguar Land Rover Automotive Company, and marks a formal commitment from JLR to China, which is already its third largest market behind the UK and the US. JLR has already been rapidly expanding in China, with sales up 80pc over the first 10 months of 2012. In 2011, sales increased by more than 60pc, driven mainly by the Jaguar XJ and XF models, and strong demand for the fuel-efficient Range Rover Evoque.

For Chery, which has 15 years experience in the car industry, the joint venture with JLR signals the start of international expansion. Commenting on the partnership in a joint statement, JLR’s chief executive Ralf Speth and Yin Tongyao, chairman and chief executive officer of Chery, said: “We will now begin working in close collaboration on our partnership plans to harness the capabilities of our respective companies, to produce relevant, advanced models for Chinese consumers.” The partnership was given the go ahead by the National Development and Reform Commission in China, which approved the manufacture of Jaguar Land Rover vehicles and new models for a partnership brand in the country. JLR, owned by India’s Tata, exports more than 80pc of all the vehicles it makes and has been held up as a poster child of British automotive success by ministers. The company made a record £1.5bn profit in the year ending March 2012, despite the eurozone crisis which had hit many of the volume car makers.

ple) and Slam (Sporting, rides like a tea tray on a string). The 12 body colours get cheesy names, too; White My Fire, James Blond, Saturday White Fever, Buzz Lightgreen. With a million-plus combinations of interior trim and exterior specification, this is soft furnishing on wheels. Nor do they try and murder you with the option prices like some. At the base, Jam level, a contrasting white roof will cost you £200, add two-tone graphics on the facia and

wheels and that’s a total of £400. In the options-list lottery, this is pocket money. Fully laden with options, the launch cars provided a jolly place to sit, with spacious and heavily bolstered front seats, adjustable for height and back tilt. The steering adjusts for reach and rake and there’s plenty of head room of six-foot-plus adults. The two-dial instrument binnacle is classy and the switches and rotary dials are well made and easy to use.

Vauxhall Adam review The Adam is certainly an attractive piece of kit, unashamedly modern, without a hint of retro and with some nice style touches. Not sure about that roof, though, with its “ears” on the C pillars that look like a 16th century zucchetto, or pope’s skull cap. In other respects, however, you’ve got to doff your zucchetto to the Vauxhall/Opel design team. At 12ft 1.5in, the Adam is longer than a Mini and, at 6ft 5.4in wide (including mirrors), it’s one of the widest of the class which also includes the Mini, Citroën DS3, Fiat 500, Chrysler Ypsilon and Audi A1. They’ve had some fun with this vehicle, a rare commodity in the doom-lashed European car industry. Take the trim packs; Jam (fashionable and cheap), Glam (comfortable, classic, for old peo-


Friday, November 23, 2012

Record £23 million payout for car crash injuries

Agnes Collier, 17, was left paralysed in all four limbs after the family Audi she was travelling in was forced into the path of a lorry after a BMW pulled out of a side road. Her mother Karen Hood was killed in the accident and Agnes, who was 13 at the time, sustained devastating spinal injuries. Despite the tragedy, Agnes was able to return to her school, Cheltenham Ladies’ College, and passed her AS-level exams with flying colours. The teenager, who now hopes to go on to university, was praised by a High Court judge as she was awarded a £7.25 million lump sum payout. She will also receive indexlinked, tax-free payments of £270,000 a year to cover the costs of her care for the rest of her life. Outside court her solicitor Paul Paxton said that, given a normal life expectancy, the total payout is expected to reach

£23 million. Approving the settlement, Mr Justice Macduff told her: “It never ceases to amaze me how people can deal with this type of adversity. I can’t turn back the clock, but what I can do is to wish you all the very best for your future.” The teenager’s life was changed forever in March 2009 when she was caught up in the car accident in Gloucestershire that killed her 48-year-old mother, a teacher at Cheltenham College. Her brother Rufus, 15,

was also badly hurt. Her lawyers sued former BMW executive Anthony Norton, who caused the crash. His insurers admitted liability and have now agreed to the biggest payout ever achieved in a personal injury case in England and Wales. The court heard the teenager’s recovery had surpassed expectations, with the support of her father Dominic Collier, an investment banker, and stepmother Jannene. The family lives near Cheltenham.

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36

Friday, November 23, 2012

CODE CRACKER Code Cracker is a crossword puzzle with no clues; instead, every letter of the alphabet has been replaced by a number, the same number representing the same letter throughout the puzzle. All you have to do is decide which letter is represented by which number. In this week’s puzzle, 4 represents L and 19 represents Y, when these letters have been entered throughout the puzzle, you should have enough information to start guessing words and discovering other letters.

QUICKIE

DOUBLE CROSS-WORD Solve the Double Cross-Word puzzle using either the standard or cryptic clues, the answers are exactly the same.

CRYTPIC CLUES Across 1 Attack the awfully drab mob (7) 5 Number on watch? (5) 8 Being about worn out, withdrew (7) 9 Postpone the stand (5) 10 In the form of a bird, white (5) 11 A strong feeling, mine too, surprisingly (7) 12 Insider buys up Plymouth Rock stock (6) 14 Vicar ushers in a fellow who dropped from the heat (6) 17 Struggle as CIA left paraplegic battered (7) 19 Let it in and let it out (5) 22 Messages transmitted about a mile (5) 23 Rear back around that dry, little snake (7) 24 Toy bear’s slip (5) 25 Master’s comical torrents (7)

Down 1 Excalibur made in Asian country (5) 2 Agree with Lucifer (5) 3 Real and modified, next to the kidneys (7) 4 Venetian ruler with doctor in accident-prone vehicle (6) 5 Five hundred and one Sikh leaders’ company dance (5) 6 Gaelic railway revolves around a large ice mass (7) 7 About latest new flairs (7) 12 I get out of suit, eat rotten eggs and propose (7) 13 Notice the badly written card, pal (7) 15 Permit art Cher destroyed (7) 16 Gems of wisdom? (6) 18 Paralysis from principal symptoms (5) 20 Some animal tamed in the country (5) 21 Sort of start pastries (5)

STANDARD CLUES

Down

FILL IT IN

Complete the crossword grid by using the given words:

2 letter words Ad As 3 letter words Den Elk One Ply Pro Sag Sat She 4 letter words Abet Area Arts Aver

Babe Beep Bias Bops Bran Cull Ergs Even Hone Lint Oral Orca Ores Oven Perk Pert Plus Rang Rate Rave

Roil Spew Star Thus Tour Trad When Wren 5 letter words Abode Alack Alias Alien Balsa Baron Blade Bored Brass Brave

Cause Cedar China Doric Dynes Eared Eaves Iller Inane Irate Novel Piece Salvo Spoor Spree Stern Stilt Trend 6 letter words

Anther Barber Braise Orient Ottawa Saucer Slacks Stalls 8 letter words Eldorado Sporadic 9 letter words Bartering Preceptor

SPANISH-ENGLISH CROSSWORD Improve your Spanish - clues in Spanish, answers in English or vice versa.

Across

Across

Down

1 Area on board a ship (4) 3 Hindrance (8) 9 Walk unsteadily (7) 10 Ravine (5) 11 Foot part (5) 12 Flower part (6) 14 Dairy product (6) 16 Cutting tool (6) 19 Skirmish (6) 21 Relieves (5) 24 Drive out (5) 25 Give details (7) 26 Intrude (8) 27 Small valley (4)

1 Send off (8) 2 Clang (5) 4 Take into custody (6) 5 System of belief (5) 6 Right (7) 7 Sneak a quick look (4) 8 Has the same opinion (6) 13 Not public (8) 15 Instance (7) 17 Sinister (6) 18 Open drains (6) 20 Type of flower (5) 22 Disgrace (5) 23 Hit (4)

Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Utensil, 5 Miaou, 8 Surpass, 9 Crime, 10 Treat, 11 Ensnare, 12 System, 14 Angers, 17 Scandal, 19 Taste, 22 Ideal, 23 Animate, 24 Nasty, 25 Segment. Down: 1 Upset, 2 Eerie, 3 Startle, 4 Lessen, 5 Mucus, 6 Agitate, 7 Useless, 12 Session, 13 Skaters, 15 Nothing, 16 Always, 18 Delay, 20 Scare, 21 Eject.

Scribble Pad

1 Myanmar (5) 1 Attack (7) 2 Contest (5) 5 Figure (5) 3 Endocrine gland (7) 8 Drew back (7) 4 Bumper car (6) 9 Play for time (5) 5 Dance genre (5) 10 Pallid (5) 6 Ice mass (7) 11 Feeling (7) 7 Natural abilities (7) 12 Furnish (6) 12 Hint (7) 14 Daedalus’s son (6) 13 Poster (7) 17 Grasp (7) 15 Right (7) 19 Confess (5) 16 Cultured gems (6) 22 Electronic communica18 Paralysis (5) tion (5) 20 Mediterranean country 23 Deadly snake (7) 24 Chemise (5) (5) 25 Currents (7) 21 Filled pastries (5) Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Nettles, 5 Bends, 8 Sponger, 9 Aggro, 10 Salve, 11 Pasteur, 12 Cutest, 14 Canton, 17 Perfume, 19 Clout, 22 Irish, 23 Genteel, 24 Error, 25 Ecstasy. Down: 1 Noses, 2 Troll, 3 Legless, 4 Stripe, 5 Beams, 6 Neglect, 7 Sporran, 12 Caprice, 13 Tardier, 15 Ascents, 16 Beagle, 18 Usher, 20 Omega, 21 Tally.

Across

Down

1 Salvia (4) 3 Sacks (bags) (5) 8 Hilos (7) 9 Holly (5) 10 Shandy (beer mixed with lemonade) (5) 11 Imperios (7) 12 Employment (6) 14 Sad (6) 17 Pear trees (7) 19 Comidas (5) 21 Tiburón (5) 22 Erroneous (equivocado) (7) 24 Fright (sudden fear) (5) 25 To roast (meat) (4)

1 Sentarse (3) 2 Cap (hat) (5) 3 Hermana (6) 4 Abrazadera (5) 5 Mothers-in-law (7) 6 Daño (a algo) (6) 7 Langostas (de mar) (8) 10 El más barato (8) 13 Quizás (7) 15 Rosemary (6) 16 Mirror (6) 18 Lagos (5) 20 Tías (5) 23 Remo (pala) (3)


37

Friday, November 23, 2012 Across 8 What name is given to a Russian vehicle pulled by a team of three horses abreast? (6) 9 With which large puppet bird would you principally associate entertainer Rod Hull? (3) 10 What given name is shared by actors Baldwin and Guinness and cricketers Bedser and Stewart? (4) 11 What name is often applied to the area on the NE coast of the US, comprising the states of Maine, New Hampshire, Vermont, Massachusetts, Rhode Island, and Connecticut? (3,7) 12 See 1 Down 13 First printed in December 1879, what is the official news publication of the Salvation Army? (3,3) 16 What name is normally given to the period in western Europe between the fall of the Roman Empire and the high Middle Ages, c.5001100 AD, during which Germanic tribes swept through Europe and North Africa, often attacking and destroying towns and settle-

ments? (4,4) 17 What is the name of the surgeon’s knife with a small, sharp, sometimes detachable blade? (7) 18 Derived from the Italian for ‘jest’, what name is given to a vigorous, light, or playful composition, typically comprising a movement in a symphony or sonata? (7) 22 What is the name given to strong black coffee brewed by forcing hot water under pressure through finely ground coffee beans? (8) 25 According to Greek mythology, what was the name of the goddess of wisdom and useful arts and prudent warfare? (6) 26 With which sport would you principally associate commentator Peter Allis? (4) 27 Which branch of medicine and surgery is concerned with childbirth and midwifery? (10) 30 Which word can precede: cub, down, hug, market and witness? (4) 31 What first name is shared by American vice president Biden, baseball player DiMaggio and comedian Pasquale? (3)

SUDOKU

Quiz Word

32 Which surgical knife with a pointed double-edged blade has given its name to a weekly general medical journal founded in 1823? (6)

Down 1/12 For which 1969 American Western film did actor John Wayne win his only Academy Award? (4,4)

2 What was the title of the only UK number one hit single for the Crazy World of Arthur Brown? (4) 3 What name is given to a grotesque carved human or animal face or figure projecting from the gutter of a building, typically acting as a spout to carry water clear of a wall? (8) 4 The name of which roofed platform along the outside of a house, level with the ground floor comes from the Portuguese for ‘railing, balustrade’? (7) 5 What name is given to a flat piece hinged vertically near the stern of a boat or ship for steering? (6) 6 Which Muslim republic in southern Asia, bordered by India to the north and west and east and the Bay of Bengal to the south, achieved its independence from Pakistan in 1971? (10) 7 Which adjective means ‘of or relating to cats’? (6) 14 Poison Arrow, The Look of Love and All of My Heart were all UK top 10 hit singles for which pop band formed in Sheffield in the 1980s? (3) 15 Which colourless,

volatile, sweet-smelling liquid used as a solvent, was formerly as a general anaesthetic? (10) 19 Which slender, twowinged flying insect is also known as a daddy longlegs? (5,3) 20 Which Japanese school of Mahayana Buddhism emphasises the value of meditation and intuition rather than ritual worship or study of scriptures? (3) 21 What name is given to a long, thick pillow that is placed under other pillows for support? (7) 23 What name is given to the bars or wire rods connecting the centre of a wheel to its outer edge? (6) 24 Which city is the capital of modern Macedonia? (6) 28 The BBC sitcom written by Jimmy Perry and David Croft, set in the house of an aristocratic family in the 1920s, which ran from 1990 to 1993, was entitled You [What], M’Lord? (4) 29 What name is given to a musical notation written on a staff indicating the pitch of the notes following it? (4)

SALLY’S SIMPLE SPANISH

LOS MESES - THE MONTHS Match these words with their Spanish translations then find them in the wordsearch. (Answers below)

abril

marzo

agosto

mayo

diciembre

noviembre

enero

octubre

febrero

otoño

invierno

primavera

julio

septiembre

junio

verano

literature QUIZ

ANSWERS: 1. Rupert the Bear 2. Centaur 3. William Gibson Neuromancer 4. Hermes 5. Samuel Beckett 6. Cyclops 7. Serpent 8. Mario Puzo wrote both stories 9. Helen of Troy 10. Artemis sister of Apollo 11. Vanity Fair 12. Aphrodite 13. Joseph

Last Week’s Solutions Code Cracker Last weeks Quiz Wordsolution Across: 9 Alec Douglas-Home, 10 Amnesia, 12 Cheddar, 13 Odometers, 14 Norma, 15 Dead Sea, 18 Amnesty, 21 Rotor, 23 Straw boss, 25 Madison, 26 Beeline, 29 Alfred Hitchcock. Down: 1 Cava, 2 Kern, 3 Odysseus, 4 Butane, 5 Black Sea, 6 Astern, 7 Honduras, 8 February, 11 Midge, 15 Dark meat, 16 Auto-da-fé, 17 Absinthe, 19 New Delhi, 20 Tyson, 22 Russet, 24 Rebate, 27 Iron, 28 Elks.

Empareja estas palabras para animales - Match the Spanish and English animal words You will find the answers at the bottom of the quiz. 1.abril, 2.agosto,

13.otoño, 14.primavera,

g.March, h.April, i.May,

3.diciembre, 4.enero,

15.septiembre, 16.verano

j.June, k.July, l.August, m.September, n.October,

5.febrero, 6.invierno, 7.julio, 8.junio,

a.spring, b.summer,

9.marzo, 10.mayo,

c.autumn, d.winter,

11.noviembre, 12.octubre,

e.January, f.February,

Soduko

Span - Eng

o.November, p.December. Answers: 1h, 2l, 3p, 4e, 5f, 6d, 7k, 8j, 9g, 10i, 11o, 12n, 13c, 14a, 15m, 16b.

1. Which children's character was created by Mary Tourtel? 2. Nessus killed Hercules. What kind of creature was Nessus? 3. Which writer coined the word 'cyberspace' in 1984? 4. In mythology who is Autolycus's father? 5. Who wrote the play, Waiting for Godot in 1954? 6. Polyphemus was the leader of which group of mythical giants? 7. What kind of animal is a Jormangard in Norse mythology? 8. What is the non obvious link Superman and the Godfather? 9. Who was the mother of Castor and Pollux? 10. In Greek mythology who was the goddess of chastity? 11. Rawdon Crawley was a character in which classic novel? 12. Who was the Greek goddess of love? 13. Who wrote the best selling novel 'Catch 22'?

Quizword

Fill It In


38

Friday, November 23, 2012

TRELI ON THE TELLY WHY THE ELLA’S RYLAN STILL IN!

with ALEX TRELINSKI I KNOW it’s only a TV programme, but The X Factor had my blood pressure rising to a level not suffered since Bucks Fizz won the Eurovision Song Contest. Sunday’s ITV1 results show brought the most idiotic result in the nine-year history of Simon Cowell’s baby, and more extraordinarily, it had nothing to do with the pantomime antics of the judges. That part of The X Factor has calmed itself down in the last fortnight, but instead we got the great British public voting for a Muppet (Rylan Clark) and a

cabaret singer (Christopher Maloney), as opposed to supporting two of the best acts the show has ever produced. In Louis Walsh’s own words, the removed Ella Henderson was the best female vocalist since Leona Lewis, and found herself bottom of the pile, just edged out by the equally excellent James Arthur. With falling ratings, and The X Factor now eclipsed by the antics in the jungle on I’m a Celebrity, Cowell needs to sort this out from his Stateside base. American Idol for the last few years has introduced a judge’s wildcard, where they can step

in to stop such stupidity happening. I hope this will be brought in for the next season of The X Factor, as well as the judges being ordered not to put any joke contenders into the live shows. There’s also a neat trick on the American version of The X Factor, which is shown on ITV2, where the full voting results are revealed, so the acts and the viewers know exactly what’s going on. That means viewers who see their favourites struggling, are then more tempted to pick up the phone the following week. By the way, no joke acts at all in the X Factor USA, and I’d bet a lot on a top country singer called Tate Stevens winning it. Meanwhile, back in old Blighty, the show has gone completely off the rails, though we know that Ella Henderson will be laughing at it all in five years’ time

q

as she notches up a Platinum selling album or two! You just can’t keep the golden oldies off the screen, and by gum they’ve still got it in them. David Attenborough, Bruce Forsyth, Terry Wogan and Michael Parkinson are all still plying their trade across various channels, and they make it look so easy. Wogan’s only TV outing these days is Children in Need, and his relaxed manner is the highlight of a pretty boring evening of television. I also enjoyed him co-presenting with the still new Radio1 Breakfast Show host, Nick Grimshaw, and wondered to myself how many of those has Terry seen come and go over the years? Bruce Forsyth, with another massive ratings win for Strictly Come Dancing live from the London Arena, is still the undisputed king of

Saturday night, and I’ve found it amusing to read the usual retirement rumours doing the rounds. I slightly doubt those, especially since Ronnie Corbett, only two years younger than Sir Bruce, is being touted as the replacement. If you’re fed up with the dross that is BBC Daytime TV, you’ll be delighted to hear that next year will see all of David Attenborough’s documentary series repeated. In the meantime, some great compilations are being screened on BBC2 of Sir David’s career, but what clown has scheduled them against all the big weekend shows on BBC and ITV? Michael Parkinson, after a considerable break, is doing a series for Sky Arts called Masterclass, where he interviews various performers from the world of music,

q

dance, and drama. Back in the early ‘70s, I remember watching the start of Parkinson’s Saturday night chat show, and my parents remarking that they thought anybody could do such a programme. It was a tribute to Parky’s journalistic and broadcasting skills that he made it look easy, and still does. All of these gentlemen are true broadcasting legends, but don’t you find it sad that not a single woman has been allowed to have such a glorious career? As an advocate for more quality British TV dramas, I sigh with despair over whether viewers want them, or just a cheap bit of celebrity tripe in an Australian jungle. In the last few days, Secret State and The Hour could barely muster a million viewers each, whilst last week’s superb film, Everyday, couldn’t reach the million mark for Channel Four. It must also be very worrying for the drama controllers, who have to fight even harder these days against falling budgets, with their bosses finding easier and cheaper options to make a fast buck.

q

The Courier Friday TV

November 23

00:35 This Week 01:20 Holiday Weatherview 01:25 Panorama 01:55 Countryfile 02:55 Planet Earth Live 03:55 Antiques Roadshow 04:55 Paul Martin's Handmade Revolution 05:40 HARDtalk 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Neighbourhood Blues 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News; Weather 12:00 Watchdog Daily 12:45 Cash in the Attic 13:13 BBC News; Weather 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Escape to the Country 16:00 BBC News; Weather 16:05 Deadly 60 16:35 Lockie Leonard 17:00 Blue Peter 17:30 Junior MasterChef 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 20:00 The One Show 20:30 Nigel Slater's Dish of the Day 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 Outnumbered 22:00 Have I Got News for You 22:30 Me and Mrs Jones 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 The Graham Norton Show’

00:20 01:20 01:50 02:20 02:30 03:00 03:30 03:45 04:00 04:30 04:45 04:55 05:30 06:00

Dara O Briain's Science Club The Culture Show An Island Parish Newsday ABC World News BBC News Asia Business Report Sport Today BBC World News Asia Business Report Sport Today Schools Strictly Soulmates Schools

07:00 Zigby 07:10 Finley the Fire Engine 07:20 Little Robots 07:30 64 Zoo Lane 07:45 Chuggington: Badge Quest 07:50 Rastamouse 08:00 School of Silence 08:30 Pet Squad 08:40 Eliot Kid 08:55 Newsround 09:00 What's New Scooby-Doo? 09:25 Mister Maker Comes to Town 09:45 I Can Cook with You 10:00 ZingZillas 10:15 Baby Jake 10:25 Dipdap 10:30 Wibbly Pig 10:40 The Koala Brothers 10:50 Big & Small 11:05 Big Barn Farm 11:20 Charlie and Lola 11:30 3rd & Bird 11:40 Waybuloo 12:00 In the Night Garden 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Royal Upstairs Downstairs 14:30 To Buy or Not to Buy 15:15 Weakest Link 16:00 Real Rescues 16:45 Flog It! 17:30 Breakaway 18:15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Strictly Come Dancing - It Takes Two 20:00 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip 21:00 Mastermind 21:30 An Island Parish 22:00 Attenborough: 60 Years in the Wild 23:00 QI 23:30 Newsnight

00:05 00:35 01:05 04:00 04:25 05:35 06:30 07:00 09:30 10:25 11:30 13:30 14:30 14:55 15:00 16:00 16:59 17:00 18:00 19:00 19:30 20:00 20:30 21:00

Grimefighters The Last Word ITV News Headlines Tonight ITV Nightscreen The Jeremy Kyle Show ITV Morning News Daybreak Lorraine The Jeremy Kyle Show This Morning Loose Women ITV News and Weather Meridian News and Weather Crime Stories Dickinson's Real Deal Meridian Weather Midsomer Murders The Chase Meridian Tonight ITV News and Weather Emmerdale Coronation Street Island Hospital

ATTENBOROUGH: 60 YEARS IN THE WILD David Attenborough reflects on scientific discoveries in his lifetime that have transformed the way the natural world is viewed - including evidence of how and where life began, the ways in which continents move, and research into animal communication and behaviour. He also recalls some of his more hair-raising attempts to bring new science to a television audience, and clips show him standing in the shadow of an erupting volcano and being charged at by a group of armed New Guinea tribesmen.

00:05 Rory Peck Awards 2012 00:10 999: What's Your Emergency? 01:15 Embarrassing Fat Bodies 02:10 Geordies Overboard 03:05 Channel 4 Presents 03:10 Unreported World 03:35 Dispatches 04:05 Time Team 05:00 Deal or No Deal 05:55 Countdown 06:40 Make Do & Mend 07:05 Channel 4 Presents 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 According to Jim 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 11:00 Undercover Boss Canada 12:00 A Place in the Sun 13:00 Channel 4 News 13:05 SuperScrimpers 13:35 Come Dine with Me 14:35 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 15:40 Countdown 16:30 1001 Things You Should Know 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 18:30 Jamie's 15 Minute Meals 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:30 Unreported World 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Come Dine with Me 22:00 Sarah Millican: Chatterbox Live 23:00 Alan Carr: Chatty Man

01:15 SuperCasino 04:55 HouseBusters 05:20 House Doctor 05:45 Divine Designs 06:10 Wildlife SOS 06:35 Wildlife SOS 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 The WotWots 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:30 Jelly Jamm 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Olive the Ostrich 07:55 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:35 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 The Hotel Inspector 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Superior Interiors with Kelly Hoppen 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 The Mentalist 16:15 Christmas in Canaan 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News at 6.30 20:00 Cowboy Builders 21:00 Wild Things with Dominic Monaghan 22:00 The Mentalist 23:00 Castle 23:55 Law & Order: Criminal


39

The Courier Saturday TV

November 24

00:20 The National Lottery 00:30 Live at the Apollo 01:00 EastEnders 02:55 Weatherview 03:00 Hairy Dieters: How to Love Food and Lose Weight 04:00 Question Time 05:00 BBC News 05:30 On the Road With 06:00 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 11:00 Saturday Kitchen Live 12:30 Baking Made Easy 13:00 BBC News; Regional News 13:15 Football Focus 14:00 Bargain Hunt 15:00 Escape to the Country 16:00 Formula 1 18:30 BBC News; Regional News 18:50 Pointless Celebrities 19:40 Strictly Come Dancing 21:00 Merlin 21:45 The National Lottery 21:55 Casualty 22:45 Live at the Apollo 23:15 BBC News; Weather 23:30 Match of the Day

07:20 Little Robots 07:30 64 Zoo Lane 07:45 Rastamouse 08:00 Roar 08:30 Bear Behaving Badly 08:55 The Scooby-Doo Show 09:20 Dennis and Gnasher 09:30 Trapped Ever After 10:00 Jedward's Big Adventure 10:30 Sorry, I've Got No Head 11:00 The Ministry of Curious Stuff 11:30 Deadly 60 Bites 11:35 Splatalot 12:00 Prank Patrol 12:30 OOglies 12:45 MOTD Kickabout 13:05 My Fake FiancĂŠ 14:30 Live International Rugby Union 17:00 Final Score 18:10 Live International Rugby Union 20:30 Attenborough: 60 Years in the Wild 21:30 Dad's Army 22:00 QI XL 22:45 Rolling Stones: Crossfire Hurricane 23:45 The Rolling Stones at the BBC

00:00 Meridian Tonight and Weather 00:10 Accepted 01:45 ITV News Headlines 04:00 The Skeleton Key 05:45 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Babar and the Adventures of Badou 07:10 Babar and the Adventures of Badou 07:25 The Hive 07:50 Canimals 08:05 The Avengers 08:25 Rated A for Awesome 08:50 Horrid Henry 09:30 Shake It Up 10:00 My Phone Genie 10:25 ITV News 10:30 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 12:15 Murder, She Wrote 13:20 All Star Family Fortunes 14:05 ITV News and Weather 14:09 Meridian Weather 14:10 Home Sweet Home 16:10 The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor 18:20 Meridian News and Weather 18:30 ITV News and Weather 18:45 The Golden Rules of TV 19:15 New You've Been Framed! 19:45 Take Me Out 21:00 The X Factor 22:45 I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here! 23:45 ITV News and Weather 23:59 Meridian Weather

00:05 4Funnies 00:35 Random Acts 00:40 8 Out of 10 Cats 01:25 Full English 01:55 The Ricky Gervais Show 02:20 My Name Is Earl 03:05 Bob's Burgers 03:50 Glory Daze 04:35 90210 05:15 Deal or No Deal 06:10 Countdown 06:55 The Treacle People 07:05 Channel 4 Presents 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 Beach Volleyball 08:55 The Morning Line 09:55 Channel 4 Presents 10:00 A Racing Portrait: For the Love 10:30 The Killers: London Live 11:05 Made in Chelsea 12:10 Suburgatory 12:45 The Big Bang Theory 13:20 The Big Bang Theory 13:50 The Big Bang Theory 14:25 The Simpsons 14:55 Channel 4 Racing 16:55 The Simpsons 17:20 Celebrity Come Dine with Me Ireland 19:55 Channel 4 News 20:25 4thought.tv 20:30 Heston's Fantastical Food 21:30 Stephen Fry: Gadget Man 22:00 The Wolfman

THE WOLFMAN 00:00 00:45 00:50 01:55 03:25 03:30 04:00 04:30 04:45 05:00 07:00 07:10

The Review Show Weather Later with Jools Holland Jar City BBC News The Week in Parliament BBC News Click Newswatch Close Zigby Finley the Fire Engine

Remake of the classic 1941 horror, starring Benicio Del Toro and Anthony Hopkins. England, 1891: when Benjamin, the son of Sir John Talbot, is killed by a strange beast, his estranged brother Lawrence returns to the family's country estate determined to uncover the truth. But after surviving an attack by the fearsome creature, Lawrence himself falls victim to a curse that puts his own life in jeopardy.

00:55 Inside Hollywood 01:00 SuperCasino 04:55 Motorsport Mundial 05:20 House Doctor 05:45 Divine Designs 06:10 Wildlife SOS 06:35 Wildlife SOS 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Fifi and the Flowertots 07:25 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 07:30 The Mr Men Show 07:45 Olive the Ostrich 07:50 Abby's Flying Fairy School 08:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 08:10 Milkshake! Monkey 08:15 Animal Antics 08:20 Noddy in Toyland 08:35 City of Friends 08:50 Little Princess 09:05 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:25 Angelina Ballerina 09:40 Rupert Bear 09:55 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:15 Toby's Travelling Circus 10:25 Roary the Racing Car 10:40 Jelly Jamm 11:00 Power Rangers: Super Samurai 11:35 ThunderCats 12:10 Highland Emergency 12:40 The Hotel Inspector 13:35 The Hotel Inspector 14:35 The Hotel Inspector 15:30 The Town Christmas Forgot 17:15 The Christmas Pageant 19:00 A Christmas Visitor 20:45 5 News Weekend 20:50 NCIS 21:40 NCIS 22:40 5 News Weekend 22:45 CSI: Miami 23:45 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

The Courier Sunday TV

November 25

00:50 The Football League Show 02:05 Weatherview 02:10 BBC News 02:30 The Bottom Line 03:00 BBC News 03:30 Dateline London 04:00 BBC News 04:30 Martha, Meals and Malawi 05:00 BBC News 05:30 Click 06:00 BBC News 06:30 The Bottom Line 07:00 Breakfast 08:35 Match of the Day 10:00 The Andrew Marr Show 11:00 Fern Britton Meets 12:00 Sunday Politics 13:20 Countryfile 14:15 Bargain Hunt 15:00 Escape to the Country 15:30 Nigel Slater's Dish of the Day 16:00 Formula 1 19:15 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 19:40 Countryfile 20:20 Strictly Come Dancing 21:00 Antiques Roadshow 22:00 The Secret of Crickley Hall 23:00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 23:25 Match of the Day 2

00:30 Keith Richards: A Culture Show Special 01:30 Dawn of the Dead

03:50 Close 07:00 Zigby 07:10 Finley the Fire Engine 07:20 Little Robots 07:30 64 Zoo Lane 07:45 Rastamouse 08:00 Walk on the Wild Side 08:30 Deadly Art 08:45 Copycats 09:15 The Scooby-Doo Show 09:40 Wingin' It 10:00 12 Again 10:30 Gastronuts 11:00 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites 12:30 The Great British Bake Off 13:30 Yellowstone Kelly 15:00 International Rugby Union 16:00 The Way We Were 17:55 Songs of Praise 18:30 Indian Ocean with Simon Reeve 19:30 Fawlty Towers 20:00 Top Gear 21:00 Return to Forgotten Britain 22:00 Dragons' Den 23:00 Harry & Paul 23:30 Hebburn

00:00 Paul McCartney - Live Kisses 01:00 The Cube 01:45 ITV News Headlines 03:50 In Plain Sight 04:35 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Engie Benjy 07:10 Jungle Junction 07:35 Signed Stories 07:45 Canimals 08:00 Matt Hatter Chronicles 08:25 Almost Naked Animals 09:00 Big Time Rush 09:30 Good Luck Charlie 10:00 Good Luck Charlie 10:25 ITV News 10:30 There's No Taste Like Home 11:25 Dinner Date 12:25 Dickinson's Real Deal 13:25 ITV News and Weather 13:34 Meridian Weather 13:35 Carry On Camping 15:15 The X Factor 17:00 The Home of Fabulous Cakes 18:00 The Nation's Favourite Number 1 Single 19:30 Meridian News and Weather 19:45 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Surprise Surprise 21:00 The X Factor 22:00 I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here! 23:30 ITV News and Weather 23:44 Meridian Weather 23:45 Piers Morgan's Life Stories

DIRTY HARRY Crime thriller starring Clint Eastwood. San Francisco cop "Dirty" Harry Callahan is assigned the case of a sniper who has murdered a young girl and threatened further killings if his ransom demand is not met. Dismayed to find himself partnered with a raw recruit, Callahan is soon at odds with his bosses over whether to pay off the killer.

00:00 02:15 04:00 06:05 06:50 07:00 07:05 07:15 07:40 08:05 08:35 08:40 09:05 09:30 10:00 10:30 13:00 13:30 14:00 14:30 15:35 18:10 20:20 20:50 20:55 21:00 22:00 23:00 23:35

Fatal Attraction Micmacs Hollyoaks Countdown Quick Bakes with Eric Lanlard Channel 4 Presents The Treacle People The Hoobs The Hoobs Extreme Sailing Series Channel 4 Presents Sailing Will & Grace Frasier Frasier Sunday Brunch The Big Bang Theory The Big Bang Theory The Simpsons Deal or No Deal Hugh's 3 Good Things Fred Claus Channel 4 News 4thought.tv The Political Slot How Britain Worked Homeland Peep Show Kookyville

00:40 Forensic Files 01:05 SuperCasino 05:00 House Doctor 05:25 Great Artists 05:50 County Secrets 06:05 Hana's Helpline 06:15 The Milkshake! Show 06:40 Thomas & Friends 06:50 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Fifi and the Flowertots 07:25 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 07:30 The Mr Men Show 07:45 Olive the Ostrich 07:50 Abby's Flying Fairy School 08:00 Roobarb and Custard Too 08:10 Bananas in Pyjamas 08:20 Animal Antics 08:25 Noddy in Toyland 08:35 Castle Farm 08:45 City of Friends 08:55 Little Princess 09:10 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:20 Angelina Ballerina 09:35 Rupert Bear 09:50 Mio Mao 10:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:15 Toby's Travelling Circus 10:30 Roary the Racing Car 10:45 Jelly Jamm 11:00 Power Rangers: Super Samurai 11:35 ThunderCats 12:05 The Gadget Show 13:05 Rolf's Animal Clinic 14:05 I'll Be Home for Christmas 15:45 Noel 17:35 Mermaids 19:20 Superman 21:55 5 News Weekend 22:00 Dirty Harry


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The Courier Monday TV

November 26

00:45 The Graham Norton Show 01:30 Weatherview 01:35 Film 2012 with Claudia Winkleman 02:05 The Choir: Sing While You Work 03:05 Holby City 04:05 Paul Martin's Handmade Revolution 04:50 Sport Today 05:00 BBC News 05:30 HARDtalk 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Heir Hunters 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News; Weather 12:00 Watchdog Daily 12:45 Cash in the Attic 13:13 BBC News; Weather 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Escape to the Country 16:00 BBC News; Weather 16:05 Deadly 60 16:35 Lockie Leonard 17:00 Prank Patrol Down Under 17:25 Leon 17:30 Science Fiction 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 20:00 The One Show 20:30 Inside Out 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 Panorama 22:00 New Tricks 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 Have I Got a Bit More News for You

00:00 The Rolling Stones: Charlie Is My Darling 01:05 Never Mind the Buzzcocks 01:35 Awaydays 03:15 BBC News 03:30 Asia Business Report 03:45 Sport Today 04:00 BBC News 04:30 Asia Business Report 04:45 Close 07:00 Zigby

07:10 Finley the Fire Engine 07:20 Little Robots 07:30 64 Zoo Lane 07:45 Chuggington: Badge Quest 07:50 Rastamouse 08:00 School of Silence 08:30 Pet Squad 08:40 Eliot Kid 08:55 Newsround 09:00 What's New Scooby-Doo? 09:25 Mister Maker Comes to Town 09:45 I Can Cook with You 10:00 ZingZillas 10:15 Baby Jake 10:25 Dipdap 10:30 Wibbly Pig 10:40 The Koala Brothers 10:50 Big & Small 11:05 Big Barn Farm 11:20 Charlie and Lola 11:30 3rd & Bird 11:40 Waybuloo 12:00 In the Night Garden 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Royal Upstairs Downstairs 14:30 To Buy or Not to Buy 15:15 Weakest Link 16:00 Real Rescues 16:45 Flog It! 17:30 Breakaway 18:15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Strictly Come Dancing - It Takes Two 20:00 Antiques Road Trip 21:00 University Challenge 21:30 MasterChef: The Professionals 22:00 The Dark Charisma of Adolf Hitler 23:00 Never Mind the Buzzcocks 23:30 Newsnight

00:45 Premiership Rugby Union 01:40 ITV News Headlines 03:45 Motorsport UK 04:35 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 Crime Stories 16:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 Britain's Best Bakery 18:00 The Chase 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Little England 21:30 I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here! 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 The Agenda

00:10 Down with Love 02:00 American Football Live 05:45 Grudge Match 05:55 Countdown 06:40 Make Do & Mend 07:05 Channel 4 Presents 07:10 The Hoobs 07:35 The Hoobs 08:00 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 According to Jim 08:55 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 11:00 Undercover Boss 12:00 Secret Removers 13:00 Channel 4 News 13:05 SuperScrimpers 13:35 Come Dine with Me 14:35 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 15:40 Countdown 16:30 1001 Things You Should Know 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 18:30 Jamie's 15 Minute Meals 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Dispatches 21:30 Stephen Fry: Gadget Man 22:00 The Curious Case of the Clark Brothers 23:00 8 Out of 10 Cats 23:50 Full English

THE PATRIOT Period war drama starring Mel Gibson as a widower and committed pacifist, who is reluctantly dragged into the American War of Independence after one of his sons falls victim to a sadistic British colonel.

00:10 Hatfields & McCoys 01:05 War Hero in My Family 02:05 SuperCasino 05:00 House Doctor 05:25 House Doctor 05:50 County Secrets 06:05 Hana's Helpline 06:15 The Milkshake! Show 06:40 Thomas & Friends 06:50 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 The WotWots 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:30 Jelly Jamm 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Olive the Ostrich 07:55 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 The Hotel Inspector 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Superior Interiors with Kelly Hoppen 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 CSI: Miami 16:15 Three Wise Women 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News at 6.30 20:00 Wild Things with Dominic Monaghan 21:00 The Gadget Show 22:00 The Patriot

The Courier Tuesday TV

November 27

00:20 The English Patient 02:55 Weatherview 03:00 Golden Oldies 04:00 You've Been Trumped 05:30 HARDtalk 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Heir Hunters 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News; Weather 12:00 Watchdog Daily 12:45 Cash in the Attic 13:13 BBC News; Weather 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Escape to the Country 16:00 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 16:05 Deadly 60 16:35 Lockie Leonard 17:00 Prank Patrol Down Under 17:25 Leon 17:30 Science Fiction 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 Holby City 22:00 Last Tango in Halifax 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:25 National Lottery Update 23:35 Imagine

00:20 Dragons' Den 01:20 BBC News 01:30 HARDtalk 02:00 Newsday 02:30 ABC World News 03:00 BBC News 03:30 Asia Business Report 03:45 Sport Today 04:00 BBC News 05:00 Schools: Your Body, Your Image 05:15 Dying for Clear Skin 05:25 Ask Lara 06:00 Schools - Curious Cat: Steel, Electricity, Sewage 06:30 Schools - Little Stargazing

07:00 Zigby 07:10 Finley the Fire Engine 07:20 Little Robots 07:30 64 Zoo Lane 07:45 Chuggington: Badge Quest 07:50 Rastamouse 08:00 School of Silence 08:30 Pet Squad 08:40 Eliot Kid 08:55 Newsround 09:00 What's New Scooby-Doo? 09:25 Mister Maker Comes to Town 09:45 I Can Cook with You 10:00 ZingZillas 10:15 Baby Jake 10:25 Dipdap 10:30 Wibbly Pig 10:40 The Koala Brothers 10:50 Octonauts: Creature Reports 11:05 Big Barn Farm 11:20 Charlie and Lola 11:30 3rd & Bird 11:40 Waybuloo 12:00 In the Night Garden 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Royal Upstairs Downstairs 14:30 To Buy or Not to Buy 15:15 Weakest Link 16:00 Real Rescues 16:45 Flog It! 17:30 Breakaway 18:15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Strictly Come Dancing - It Takes Two 20:00 Antiques Road Trip 21:00 MasterChef: The Professionals 22:00 Dara O Briain's Science Club 23:00 Later Live - with Jools Holland 23:30 Newsnight

00:05 Inland Empire 03:20 ITV News Headlines 04:00 Champions League Weekly 04:25 ITV Nightscreen 05:35 The Jeremy Kyle Show 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 Crime Stories 16:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 Britain's Best Bakery 18:00 The Chase 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 The Martin Lewis Money Show 21:00 You've Been Framed! 21:30 I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here! 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 Take Me Out

LAST TANGO IN HALIFAX Celia and Alan continue their unconventional romance by buying an expensive convertible car instead of an engagement ring. But they do throw a party, where they reveal the reason they never got together 60 years earlier - and who it was that stood in their way. Michael Dobson tries to blackmail Caroline over her relationship with Kate, and although she easily gets rid of him, it's clear she is uneasy about anyone finding out the truth. Meanwhile, Gillian is worried Raff will discover how his father died from Robbie - so decides to make a confession.

00:20 Random Acts 00:25 Alan Carr: Chatty Man 01:30 Secret State 02:25 The Good Wife 03:05 The Good Wife 03:50 Broken Lance 05:25 Supernanny US 06:05 Channel 4 Presents 06:10 Deal or No Deal 07:05 Channel 4 Presents 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 According to Jim 08:55 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:55 Frasier 10:30 Frasier 11:00 Undercover Boss 12:00 Secret Removers 13:00 Channel 4 News 13:05 SuperScrimpers 13:35 Come Dine with Me 14:35 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 15:40 Countdown 16:30 1001 Things You Should Know 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 18:30 Jamie's 15 Minute Meals 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 George Clarke's Amazing Spaces 22:00 Heston's Fantastical Food 23:00 Fresh Meat 23:50 Random Acts 23:55 Homeland

02:10 SuperCasino 04:55 HouseBusters 05:20 House Doctor 05:45 Divine Designs 06:10 Wildlife SOS 06:35 Wildlife SOS 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 The WotWots 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:30 Jelly Jamm 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Olive the Ostrich 07:55 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 The Removal Men 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Half Built House 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 CSI: Miami 16:10 The National Tree 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News at 6.30 20:00 Highland Emergency 20:25 5 News Update 20:25 Highland Emergency 21:00 Rolf's Animal Clinic 22:00 Body of Proof 23:00 CSI: NY


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The Courier Wednesday TV

November 28

00:40 Film 2012 with Claudia Winkleman 01:10 The Big Easy 02:50 Weatherview 02:55 Vikings 03:55 Britain's Hidden Hungry 04:50 Great British Food Revival 05:50 HARDtalk 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Heir Hunters 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News; Weather 12:00 Watchdog Daily 12:45 Cash in the Attic 13:13 BBC News; Weather 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Escape to the Country 16:00 BBC News; Weather 16:05 Deadly 60 16:35 Sadie J 17:00 Prank Patrol Down Under 17:30 Science Fiction 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 20:00 The One Show 21:00 Supersized Earth 22:00 Goodnight Britain 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 The National Lottery Wednesday Night Draws 23:45 National Lottery Update

00:20 Storyville 01:20 BBC News 01:30 HARDtalk 02:00 Newsday 02:30 ABC World News with Diane Sawyer 03:00 BBC News 03:30 Asia Business Report 03:45 Sport Today 04:00 BBC News 04:30 Asia Business Report 04:45 Sport Today 05:00 Spark 06:00 Schools - True Stories

07:00 Zigby 07:10 Finley the Fire Engine 07:20 Little Robots 07:30 64 Zoo Lane 07:45 Chuggington: Badge Quest 07:50 Rastamouse 08:00 School of Silence 08:30 Pet Squad 08:40 Eliot Kid 08:55 Newsround 09:00 What's New Scooby-Doo? 09:25 Mister Maker Comes to Town 09:45 I Can Cook with You 10:00 ZingZillas 10:15 Baby Jake 10:25 Dipdap 10:30 Wibbly Pig 10:40 The Koala Brothers 10:50 Octonauts: Creature Reports 11:05 Big Barn Farm 11:20 Charlie and Lola 11:30 3rd & Bird 11:40 Waybuloo 12:00 In the Night Garden 12:30 Daily Politics 14:00 See Hear 14:30 To Buy or Not to Buy 15:15 Weakest Link 16:00 Real Rescues 16:45 Flog It! 17:30 Breakaway 18:15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Strictly Come Dancing - It Takes Two 20:00 Antiques Road Trip 21:00 MasterChef: The Professionals 22:00 The Hour 23:00 The Culture Show 23:30 Newsnight

00:50 Grimefighters 01:10 ITV News Headlines 01:10 Jackpot247 04:00 Loose Women 04:50 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 Crime Stories 16:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 Britain's Best Bakery 18:00 The Chase 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:30 I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here! 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 The 40 Year Old Virgin

01:00 European Poker Tour 02:00 Channel 4 Presents 02:05 A Racing Portrait: For the Love 02:30 KOTV Boxing Weekly 03:00 Sailing 03:25 Beach Volleyball 04:20 Bullrun: Cops, Cars and Superstars 04:45 Extreme Sailing Series 05:15 Best of British 06:10 Deal or No Deal 07:05 Channel 4 Presents 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 According to Jim 08:55 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 11:00 Undercover Boss 12:00 Secret Removers 13:00 Channel 4 News 13:05 SuperScrimpers 13:35 Come Dine with Me 14:35 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 15:40 Countdown 16:30 1001 Things You Should Know 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 18:30 Jamie's 15 Minute Meals 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Sarah Beeny's Selling Houses 22:00 Grand Designs 23:00 Secret State

GOODNIGHT BRITIAN Sian Williams presents the first of two programmes tackling extreme sleep disorders, as people across the country struggle with extraordinary bedtime behaviour - from those who suffer night terrors and loud snorers to insomniacs who simply give up and end up baking all night. To investigate these and other problems, five volunteers move into a specially monitored house, where experts Dr Kirstie Anderson and Dr Jason Ellis watch every toss, turn and snuffle as they snooze - or not, as the case may be.

00:00 CSI: NY 00:55 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 01:45 Forensic Files 02:10 SuperCasino 04:55 HouseBusters 05:20 House Doctor 05:45 Divine Designs 06:10 Wildlife SOS 06:35 Wildlife SOS 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 The WotWots 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:30 Jelly Jamm 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Olive the Ostrich 07:55 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 The Removal Men 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Half Built House 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 CSI: Miami 16:15 The Town Christmas Forgot 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News at 6.30 20:00 World's Strongest Man 21:00 The Removal Men 22:00 Eraser

The Courier Thursday TV

November 29

01:15 02:55 03:00 03:30 04:30 05:30 06:00 06:30 06:45 07:00 10:15 11:00 11:58 12:00 12:45 13:13 13:15 14:00 14:30 14:45 15:15 16:00 16:05 16:35 17:00 17:30 18:00 18:15 19:00 19:30 20:00 20:30 21:00 22:00 23:00 23:25 23:35

The Ghost and the Darkness Weatherview See Hear Ian Hislop's Stiff Upper Lip Great British Food Revival Panorama BBC News World Business Report BBC News Breakfast Heir Hunters Homes Under the Hammer BBC News; Weather Watchdog Daily Cash in the Attic BBC News; Weather Bargain Hunt BBC News; Weather Regional News and Weather Doctors Escape to the Country BBC News; Weather Deadly 60 Sadie J Prank Patrol Down Under VIP People Newsround Pointless BBC News Weather The One Show EastEnders Young Apprentice Goodnight Britain BBC News Regional News and Weather Question Time

00:20 Great Continental Railway Journeys 01:20 BBC News 01:30 HARDtalk 02:00 Newsday 02:30 ABC World News 03:00 BBC News 03:30 Asia Business Report 03:45 Sport Today 04:00 BBC News 04:30 Asia Business Report 04:45 Sport Today 05:00 Ask Lara 05:25 Schools 05:55 Bringing Books to Life 07:00 Zigby 07:10 Finley the Fire Engine

07:20 Little Robots 07:30 64 Zoo Lane 07:45 Chuggington: Badge Quest 07:50 Rastamouse 08:00 School of Silence 08:30 Pet Squad 08:40 Eliot Kid 08:55 Newsround 09:00 What's New Scooby-Doo? 09:25 Mister Maker Comes to Town 09:45 I Can Cook with You 10:00 ZingZillas 10:15 Baby Jake 10:25 Dipdap 10:30 Wibbly Pig 10:40 The Koala Brothers 10:50 Big & Small 11:05 Big Barn Farm 11:20 Charlie and Lola 11:30 3rd & Bird 11:40 Waybuloo 12:00 In the Night Garden 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Royal Upstairs Downstairs 14:30 To Buy or Not to Buy 15:15 Weakest Link 16:00 Real Rescues 16:45 Flog It! 17:30 Breakaway 18:15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Strictly Come Dancing - It Takes Two 20:00 Antiques Road Trip 21:00 MasterChef: The Professionals 22:00 Great Continental Railway Journeys 23:00 Rhod Gilbert's Work Experience 23:30 Newsnight

01:45 ITV News Headlines 04:00 Kiss Kiss Bang Bang 05:40 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 Crime Stories 16:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 Britain's Best Bakery 18:00 The Chase 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Tonight 21:00 Emmerdale 21:30 I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here! 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 Corfu: A Tale of Two Islands

WORLD’S STRONGEST MAN James Richardson presents action from the Giants Live Series event in Tampere, Finland, where Great Britain's Laurence Shahlaei battled it out for top spot and a place in the World's Strongest Man heats with the likes of Johannes Arsjo of Sweden and home favourite Lauri Nami.

00:05 Random Acts 00:10 Living with My Stalker 01:10 Abbey Road Studios: In Session 01:40 Mumford & Sons: Gentlemen of the Road 01:55 Example at iTunes Festival 2012 Special 02:20 Spotlight 02:35 Le Quattro Volte 04:10 St Elsewhere 04:55 Deal or No Deal 05:50 Countdown 06:35 Make Do & Mend 07:00 Channel 4 Presents 07:05 Sali Mali 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 According to Jim 08:55 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:55 Frasier 11:00 Undercover Boss 12:00 Secret Removers 13:00 Channel 4 News 13:05 SuperScrimpers 13:35 Come Dine with Me 14:35 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 15:40 Countdown 16:30 1001 Things You Should Know 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 18:30 Jamie's 15 Minute Meals 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Kirstie's Vintage Home 22:00 The Aristocrats 23:00 True Stories

00:20 World's Craziest Police Pursuits 01:20 Shops, Robbers and Videotape 02:10 SuperCasino 04:55 HouseBusters 05:20 House Doctor 05:45 Divine Designs 06:10 Wildlife SOS 06:35 Wildlife SOS 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 The WotWots 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:30 Jelly Jamm 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Olive the Ostrich 07:55 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 The Removal Men 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Half Built House 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 Shark 16:15 Christmas Returns to Canaan 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News at 6.30 20:00 Rolf's Animal Clinic 21:00 World's Strongest Man 22:00 Cowboy Builders 23:00 Pineapple Express


42

Friday, November 23, 2012

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BUSINESS  OPPORTUNITY

CLUBS Young at Heart Club. Looking for friendship, trips, meals or more. Join us Fridays 3pm at Bar Catorce, Benijofar. At side of ayuntamiento. Carole 692 215 753 / Carolyn 966 715 272. (93)

INSURANCE CASER SEGUROS - for all your insurance needs, home, car, health, funeral. Policies available in English and German. Call Professional Business Support on 966 923 963 for a quick quote from our friendly staff.

MEDICAL Having problems with obtaining or using you SIP card? CASER Healthcare offers you a quick and affordable solution, using the best private hospitals in the area. All policies available in English. Call us now on 966 923 963, and we will call you back with your quote.

air conditioned flat, Villamartin Tel 677 865 831 (93)

PROPERTY FOR RENT Pinomar – Guardamar, one bed bungalow, south facing, fully furnished, a/c h/c, facing pine forest, local bus service, large patio. 300€ per month plus bills 625 257 831 (92) Viva Villa and Vacation Services, For Short or Long Term Rentals visit: www.villaandvacation.com or Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 2 or 3 bed / 2 bath apartments in San Miguel. Lift, communal rooftop pool & solarium, video entry system. Available for short or long term rent from 300 pcm. Tel 966723437 or 636615716. (98) Ref. RS69 – Spacious towncentre apartment only a two minute walk from the beach and well known Marina International in Torrevieja centre. 2 large bedrooms, 1 full bathroom, fully fur-

nished, 350 € pcm. 966 923 963 Ref: 61, A lovely two bedroomed ground floor apartment, located in the centre of the small Spanish town of Los Montesinos, With a pleasant communal swimming pool adjacent & all amenities in walking distance. Long and short term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref. KBJ3 – Luxury duplex penthouse apartment located near the marina in Guardamar. 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, amazing panoramic views, inc.parking and storage. 600 € pcm. 966 923 963 Ref. CBR21 – A rare chance to rent a frontline beach apartment in Torrevieja! Ground floor with large terrace, 3 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, direct and full-on sea views. 500 € pcm. 966 923 963 Ref. CBR20 – Spanish style 4th floor apartment right on the beach! 3 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, lovely balcony to soak up the amazing sea views. 500 € pcm. 966 923 963

COINS

BLINDS

NIE NIE Numbers for €90 Also Car re-registrations/ Transfers carried out Tel: 646 730 507 (91)

AUTO ELECTRICIAN

PERSONAL Caring, Beautiful, Sexy Lady, (35) offers relaxed Sensual Massage. Discreet

BARBER

BUILDER

AIRPORT COLLECTION

ALARMS

CARPENTER

CRAFTS

CAR HIRE

CLEANERS


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Friday, November 23, 2012

Ref. CBR19 – 2 bedroom 1 bathroom apartment in sought after area beachside Punta Prima, with communal pool and fully furnished, only 400 € pcm. 966 923 963 CBR22 : Modern 2 bed apartment only 500m from Los Locos Beach. Fully furnished, inc.storage room, 350€ pcm. 966 923 963 Ref. CBR3 – 2 bedroom 2 bathroom townhouse located in Algorfa, communal pool, fully furnished, 300 € pcm. 966 923 963 Ref. RS20 – 2 bedroom 1 bathroom apartment within private enclosed residential in San Luis, large terrace, 350 € pcm. 966 923 963 Ref: 49, 2nd floor one bedroom apartment situated conveniently located in the town centre of Torrevieja, with a small sun balcony overlooking the lovely communal pool. Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 CBR23 : Stylish new house in Los Montesinos, 3 bed 2 bath with large 65m2 garage, front and back terraces. 500 € pcm. 966 923 Ref 33, Ground floor spacious 2 bedroom apartment, located in Torre la Mata.

Close to all amenities and beach. 3 month rental €300pcm Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 104, 2 Bedroom apartment in Torrevieja, (near gypsy lane), small balcony, near all amenities and Friday market. €350pcm Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 112, Spacious 3 bedroom detached villa with its private pool is located on the El Raso urbanisation near Guardamar. Convenient for all amenities, shops, supermarket, restaurants and bars. Short term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 155, Luxurious Three Bedroom Villa With Private Pool, in Quesada Close to shops and restaurants within a five minute drive, and Guadamar Beach is within a ten minute drive. Short term rental €800PCM. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref 702: Beautiful 2 bedroom apartment, located near los Locos beach, beautifully furnished. Short term rentals from 175€ per week. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 El Chaparel/La Siesta Two bedroom apartment in a quiet gated urbanisation for rent €350 per month plus bills. Reference No 17 Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 709, A lovely 1 bedroom apartment in Aguas Nuevas, within a 5 minute walk of the beach. There is a terrace outside with views to the sea. Short or long term rental available. Call: 965

CAR MECHANICS

DAMP PROOFING

ELECTRICIAN

707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 117, A Lovely 3 Bedroomed 1st floor apartment on the outskirts of Torrevieja (Mar Azul). The Apartment is in walking distance of the excellent beaches and a good selection of restaurants, shops and bars. Long and short term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 63, Two bedroom 1st floor apartment situated in Monino Blanco. The property overlooks a superb communal pool area, in within walking distance of bars, restaurants and shops. Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

PROPERTY FOR SALE Comprehensive cover for house and contents with CASER Seguros - excellent prices for expats; policies available in English or German. Call 966 923 963 for a quote. Lovely Corner property in Novamar V, Gran Alacant. 2 bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms Being sold fully furnished including appliances, Has secure underground parking and faces large oasis communal pool. Walking distance to beach. 139.000 Euros, Call 627 711 155 and quote Ref No. K10 Ground floor duplex, with splendid views. Quiet location in Gran Alacant. Immaculate condition. Price has just been reduced to 105.000 and includes everything. For viewing call 627 711 155 Ref. No K27 Rare opportunity to purchase on Mediterrania III, Gran Alacant. 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, Private Parking, F/Furnished, Large communal pools & Tennis courts S/W facing, Dramatically reduced for quick sale to 126.000 euros. Ref No. K58 Call 627 711 155 for immediate viewing Ref: 521, €105,000. This comfortable bungalow is located in San Luis with a new roof and solarium tiles. It is close to supermarkets, bars, restaurants and is on the local bus route. Call: 965

707 188 or 626 397 397 Don Pueblo, Gran Alacant. 3 Bedrooms, 3 Bathrooms, Large Kitchen with Galleria, Secure underground parking, Gas Central Heating, Glazed in Porch, Solarium with stunning views. Viewings absolutely essential. Very large property at reduced price of 190.000 euros. Ref No. K38 Call 627 711 155 Opportunity to purchase at the off plan price of 195.000 euros. Large 4 Bed, 3 Bath Brand new property. Secure underground parking for 2 cars and communal pool. Situated opposite Gran Alacant and over looks projected golf course. Ref No. K52. 627 711 155 Viva Villa and Vacation Services are pleased to offer property sales for the Torrevieja and Oriheula areas of the Costa Blanca, Spain. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 or Visit : www.villaandvacation.com

ELECTRICIAN

GARDENING

2 Bed, 1 Bath Ground floor duplex. Central heating, Grills, Fully furnished, Glazed in Galleria, 2 communal pools, private parking and walking distance to the Gran Alacant commercial centre. Situated in the popular urbanisation of Puerto Marino. Now only 96,500 euros for quick sale Ref No. K46. 627 711 155 Immaculate ground floor Duplex, 2 beds, 2 bath, Private Parking, Situated in Novamar, Gran Alacant. Price includes very tasteful furniture and white goods. Walking distance to all local amenities and beach. Now only 129,750 euros. Ref No K24. 627 711 155 Gran Alacant Detached villa, located in a very sought after location.Situated on a 560m2 S/W facing plot and constructed in 2005. Comprising of 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms (2 full baths), Lounge-Diner, fully equipped Kitchen, Porch

FURNITURE

and Solarium with Alicante & Sea Views. ref.L81. €258,000 neg. Tel. 680333242 Ref 533: Lovely 2 bedroom Townhouse located in the popular area of Punta Prima, the property has a large lounge and fully equipped kitchen, 2 double bedrooms, one with balcony, bathroom with double shower. €126,000 Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Gran Alacant Town House with a difference. 2 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, Glazed in Porch, Quiet Location, Extra storage areas, and South Facing Private Pool as well as 2 communal pools. Fully Furnished, All mod cons. Greenland Views and all local amenities close by. Ref. No L79. 179.000 euros 680 333 242 Top floor Duplex. Very good price of 108.000 euros for a quick sale. Furnished to a very high standard, 2 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, Lounge Diner, Glazed in Porch, Large Roof Top Solarium. Choice of Communal Pools, Private Parking. Walking distance to all amenities and on the First urbanisation as you enter Gran Alacant. Viewing essential. Ref No. K44. Tel. 627 711 155

INTERIOR DESIGN

DRAINAGE

DENTAL

HOUSE  CLEARANCE

FAST BROADBAND


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Friday, November 23, 2012

Gran Alacant immaculate villa, 3 bedroomed, 3 bathroomed property maintained to a very high standard inside and out and the interior furnishings are top quality, offering a feeling of luxury and good taste. The plot size is 400m2 and has been beautifully tiles, and graveled and has established palms and plants. Oil fired central heating throughout, log effect fire place, ceiling fans in all rooms, towel heater rails, glazed in shower units, instant hot water, water purifier, free English TV, phone & internet lines, fitted double hanging wardrobes, safe, glazed in front porch, vanity units and much more. The pool is an 8 X 4 m2 salt water pool, meaning maintenance is much easier plus outside toilet and shower. Sea views to front with Greenland views to the rear. ref K51. €245,000 Tel 680333242 Balsares is opposite Gran Alacant where the proposed

LOCKSMITH

golf course is now being started so this property will virtually be on the golf course, it is an investment not to be missed. The property is on a small gated urbanisation of 18 houses with private underground parking for 2 cars and direct access to the house, communal pool and toilets/changing rooms etc. The house is brand new and consists of 4 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, lounge with working fire place, large kitchen 12 m2, large galleria/ utility room, bedroom balcony and front tiled terrace. This property also has a converted under build for an extra lounge or bedroom. ref K52 €198,000 Tel 680333242 Ref: 516, €39,999. Studio apartment in San Luis, close to amenities. Open plan fully equipped kitchen. Good sized lounge, bedroom and out onto balcony which has been glazed to create another room. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 510, €70,000. Bungalow located in San Luis. It is close to the supermarkets, bars and restaurants and is on the local bus route. An Opel Corsa car is included in this sale. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: KP3100, €183,000. Three bedroom, two bathroom detached villa, located in San Luis, on a 450sqm

plot, with communal pool. Garage to side of house. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 78, €120,000. Three bedroom Quad in Jardin Del Mar VII. There is off-road parking and small storage shed in the enclosed garden area, communal pool nearby. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 709, €60,000 A lovely 1 bedroom apartment in Aguas Nuevas, within a 5 minute walk of the beach. There is a terrace outside with views to the sea. Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Gran Alacant Opportunity to purchase a beautiful 3 bedroomed, 3 bathroomed,large kitchen, detached property with roof- top solarium. Well established gardens and drive way for 2 cars, whilst also overlooking the projected 18 hole golf course. Comprising of fitted

wardrobes, utility room, air con H/C, alarm system, electric wall heaters, intercom system, fireplace, ceilings fans, 8x7 gazebo, use of 2 large communal pools, immaculate condition with many extras. ref K12. €180,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant bargain, detached villa with pool on 400m2 plot. Briefly comprising of 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, Lounge Diner, independent kitchen, solarium with views, well maintained gardens. Quiet location yet within walking distance of all amenities. Top quality furniture and appliances included in the price. Extras include, mosquito nets, grills, toldos blinds, built in wardrobes, gas fire, electric heating, ceiling fans, English & Spanish TV, tastefully tiled & graveled garden with irrigation system. ref K43. €229,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant South facing

MOSQIUITO SCREENS

PERSONAL TRAINER

attractive corner house Situated in the sought after urbanization of Monte Faro, this secure gated urbanization offers a stunning oasis pool, with mountain views, tennis courts and football courts. Consisting of 3 double beds with balconies, 2 bathrooms, kitchen leading onto court yard which can easily be converted into an extra room, lounge diner with working fireplace, front garden with private parking for 2 cars. Being sold fully furnishes with white goods, built in 2006 so immaculate condition hardly lived in. Ref K48 €168,000 priced for quick sale Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant, Large detached villa with beautiful gardens set on 550m2 plot, built in BBQ area and large 10x6 pool.Comprising of 3 Bedrooms, 3 Bathrooms, Lounge Diner with fire place, Independent Kitchen, air con H/C, Solarium, front porch, converted under build with 3 extra rooms, private covered parking, irrigated

gardens, close distance to beach and amenities. Ref. K18 €250,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant Gem! Fabulous detached Villa, with Alicante sea views to the front and wood land views to the rear, means this immaculate villa is very private and un-overlooked. Comprising of 2 large bedrooms with fitted wardrobes, 2 bath, large fully equipped kitchen,glazed porch sitting area, solarium, Attractive Pool with cover, well maintained Gardens. Central Heating, Air Con, Ceiling fans, Private Parking, Alarm system, Decorative working Fire Place complete with electric Fire. Outdoor workshop/storage area, Quality Pergola & BBQ. Constructed in 2006, on plot size of 380m2 and being sold fully furnished including white goods. ref L80. €234,995 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant, Ground floor south west facing apartment in Puerto Marino close to

PLASTERER

SECOND HAND FURNITURE

PAVING

PETS

KITCHENS

KENNELS

PLUMBERS

MASSAGE

POOL TABLES


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Friday, November 23, 2012 G.A commercial centre, comprising of 2 Bedrooms, 1 Bathroom, Lounge-Diner, Independent Kitchen with Galleria, Porch area and large tiled front garden, The property is being sold fully furnished and includes all kitchen appliances, H & C Air con is fitted as well as sky TV. The apartment enjoys the use of 2 large communal pools and has

private parking in an enclosed electronically gated car park. Competitively priced for a quick sale. Ref. K40 €91,000 Tel 680333242 Ref: 520, €85,000. Two bedroom apartment in Dream Hills, with a fully equipped kitchen, large lounge, glazed-in terrace and a large solarium. This property comes with a large commu-

REMOVALS

nal swimming pool. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Gran Alacant, this mid terraced Puerto marino townhouse has been priced low purely for a quick sale. Briefly comprising of: 2 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, Lounge-Diner, Independent Kitchen with Galleria, Porch area, Front tiled garden, Private gated Parking & the use of 2 large communal pools Ref. K22 €123,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant villa located in a very quiet area , situated at the end of a cul-de-sac means there is no through traffic.3 bed, 3 bath, 330m2 plot, established large gardens, working fireplace, solar panel for hot water,private parking, south facing great views, fully furnished, fantastic opportunity. ref. L85. €215,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant, Situated in the central area of Gran Alacant and within walking distance to all local amenities such as a selection of different cuisine restaurants, bars, pharmacies, banks, popular GA market and Carabassi Beach. Comprises of 4 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms with a private garage and roof-top solarium. This property is part of a small urbanization which has the use of a large decorative communal pool. Ref. K36 €149,000 Tel 680333242

Ref: 513, €115,000. Two bedroom ground floor apartment, in Aguas Nuevas, close to all amenities including the beach. It has a good size lounge, kitchen and has off road parking facilities. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Beach front Line property, over looks Carabassi Beach, Gran Alacant. 2 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, Secure Underground Parking, Fully furnished, Roof Top Solarium. 3 Large Communal Pools, Fantastic communal Gardens, Tennis Courts and much more.

STORAGE

RAG AND BONE MAN

ROLLER BLINDS

RECYCLING CLOTHES

125.000 Euros Ref No. K23. Tel. 627 711 155 Gran Alacant, Situated front line to the famous blue flag beaches of Carabassi, the real beauty of this property is its proximity to the beach, but also on offer is a fantastic communal pool situated in beautifully kept gardens with little Spanish walk ways.Comprising of 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, lounge diner, American style kitchen including all appliances, roof top solarium with stunning views, front porch area with front garden and a secure underground garage. fully furnished Ref. K23 €125,000 rare opportunity Tel 680333242 Ref: 520, €85,000. Two bedroom apartment in Dream Hills, with a fully equipped kitchen, large lounge, glazed-in terrace and a large solarium. This property comes with a large communal swimming pool. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

REMOVALS Small removals, deliveries & storage. Spain-UK-Spain. Budget prices. www.spanishmoves.net UK 01209 843971 or Spain 678 756 644 (93)

SITUATIONS VACANT Serenity Free Trips are looking for Inviters in Costa Blanca South. Want to know more? Call Sue (00 34) 691 063 203 (92)

QUIZZES Experienced quizmaster/question setter with personality available to host quiz nights in local bars. Tel:- 664 838 581

SOLICITORS Need English speaking solicitors in Torrevieja? Let us help to solve your problems with debt recovery, divorce, property, fraud, criminal defence. Call us on 966 923 963, give us brief details and get in touch with your specialist solicitor today.

WIG SPECIALIST SALON MARGARETHAS, 23 years in Torrevieja Hair/Wig specialist for Medical illness and Hair Loss problems. We offer different Hair Replacements, top fillers, Hair prostheses, Toupees and Wigs, Natural and Artificial hair and much more. Also fashion/festival accessories TV/TS are welcome to our service. Please call our salon reception for an appointment with Margaretha on Tel no 966 921 846 Torrevieja (90)

WANTED


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Friday, November 23, 2012

Greenside Gossip IVIE DAVIES takes a weekly look at the golf scene - golfdavies@gmail.com

ANCHORS AWAY THERE are a number of PGA professionals who believe the modern ball and other technology is more threatening to the game than the long putter. They are puzzled as to why golf's governing bodies are proposing to ban the broomstick and belly putter. Australia’s Adam Scott, who uses a long putter, said: "I don't thinking putting is the biggest problem in the game of golf at the moment. It's commonly acknowledged that the putter’s length is more of an issue than anything else.’’ In my opinion, great courses are being made obsolete with new technology and the time it takes to play. These are some of the things the powers to be should be looking at rectifying - not the way players are putting. Because there's no actual evidence that putting with an anchored club is better (or) easier. If it is, I would assume everyone would be doing it. If you're talking about traditionalists not liking people putting with a longer putter or a different method, it's not even an argument because we're eroding the traditions of the game. You could say it's sad to see the one-iron is not in the

The pros and cons of banning long putters

game any more. So, should all hybrid clubs be banned? Scott has used the long putter for the past two years and says he would easily adjust if it was outlawed in the future. For me it's not such a big deal as other people who have never played profes-

sionally using any other method. There are players who have been successful putting with a short putter as well. The rule is not being changed concerning the length of the putter; it's more about whether it's anchored against the body.

It depends how they write the rule. It's all speculation and it's not such a big issue as it is for some of the other guys who putt with belly putters, like Webb Simpson and Keegan Bradley, who have never putted with anything else as a professional. It's not just about the professional game either, it's about the game in general and we don't want to be turning people away from the game of golf because of the way they putt. If they're going to make a ruling, there can be no grey areas. But, like I said, I think they should get on with it and focus on what are the real priorities. You have got to trust that the governing body will do what's in the best interests of the game of golf. That should be the directive when they're looking at this and taking it so seriously. There has never been a criterion set by the governing bodies of why they're

KIERON’S SWEET CAROLINA

LOCAL boy Kieron Fowler has been signed to Letters of Intent by the South Carolina men’s golf programme. Kieron, who lives with his Mum and Dad in La Marina, was the Spanish Junior Player of the Year in 2011 and a member of the County Team in both 2011 and 2012. He was also a member of the England under 16 team in 2009 and 2010 and Under-18 Spanish National Champion in 2011. In 2010, Kieron won the Lacoste Promesas after finishing runner-up the previous year. Other notable finishes include a second-place showing at the Copa Baleares, a seventhplace finish at the Spanish Amateur Championship and 35th

TITTER ON THE TEE Four friends have been going on the same golf trip for many years. This year, Robert’s wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going. Thus he calls his mates and tells them the bad news. Two days later, the other guys arrive at the resort to begin their yearly golf getaway. And of all things, they find Ralph sitting there with his clubs already set up on his cart. "Blimey Rob, how did you talk your missus into letting you go?" "Well, yesterday evening, after my she finished reading "Fifty Shades Of Grey," she pulled me into our bedroom. On the bed she had handcuffs and ropes! She told me to tie and cuff her to the bed, and I did." Then she said, "Do whatever you want." So, here I am!

place at the Brabazon Amateur Championship. “Kieron is one of the top juniors in Europe and we were very fortunate to sign him," said South Carolina Gamecocks head coach Bill McDonald. "He is the first international player to join our programme in some time and coach Don Hill has done an amazing job in recruiting this young man. ‘’Don's trip to England this past summer to watch Kieron compete confirmed everything we had heard and read about his ability."

Kieron Fowler: One of Europe’s top juniors

proposing a ban on it. I assume they're trying to do what's in the best interests of the game. I just don't understand why they're going to try and ban them now. The facts don't show there's a reason to do it. Does anchoring the putter give a player an unfair advantage in pressure situations? Apparently, US Golf Association chief executive Mike Davis said that he has evidence to prove it does. They’re convinced that research has shown that under pressure on a Sunday afternoon, the long

putter takes one extraneous movement out of the putting stroke. It just makes it physically easier to stroke the putter when the nerves are there. One Ryder Cup player thinks there should be a levelling of the playing field (by banning anchoring). I think it’s probably something they’re disappointed in themselves that it’s got to this point. They probably should have nipped it in the bud many, many years ago. Perhaps they should have a rule that just says, don’t anchor the butt end of the club. It’s simple, right?

TAKE A TIP GETTING OUT OF THE ROUGH WHEN you are in the rough the most important thing to remember is to make sure you get out. Don't be greedy and attempt to hit the ball too far from heavy rough. You may only manage to shift it a few yards and end up in even worse trouble. So take a higher club than you might want to - a six or seven iron is about right - unless you have a really good lie. STEP ONE Grip down the shaft slightly and set up with the ball towards the back of your stance. Open the club face, aiming left of the target to compensate, to help bring the club through quicker. STEP TWO Take a three-quarter length swing - this will help generate more power. STEP THREE As the club descends try to accelerate even more than normal. It is vital to generate as much clubhead speed as possible to get through the thick grass. STEP FOUR Keep the hands firm so the clubface remains square to the ball through the shot and is not pulled off line by the grass. In long grass or heather, you need to use all your body weight not just your arms to free the ball. Emphasising the weight shift onto your front foot and the turn of your hips to help generate even more power. Feel yourself continue to turn after the ball has gone.


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Friday, November 23, 2012

IN LA LIGA OF OUR OWN THE ELCHE STORY, PART 3 TWO years ago with half a new team Elche began a terrific season, eventually finishing third. Promoted? Nah, they’d changed the rules to bring in the playoff system. Elche played a good Valladolid side in the ‘semifinals’, losing 1 – 0 away. Back home for the second leg we soon went another goal down. Ooh-er, now 0 – 2 behind on aggregate, but just before half-time our dead-ball specialist, left back Albacar, rifled in two free-kicks within 60 seconds and we were level. And ecstatically Elche’s aptlynamed striker Angel scored the winner in the second

half. Our opponents in the twolegged final were Granada, a similar-sized city with an almost-identical footballing history, also out of La Liga for 30-odd years. The clubs were well-matched and both league games had been drawn. Game(s) on! Away in Granada the first leg ended 0 – 0, but not before Elche goalkeeper Jaime had twice saved a retaken penalty in injury time. Now, all Elche had to do was win the return leg and we’d be back in La Liga after 30 years. Easy! My son, out here on holiday, and I queued for two hours in the white-hot June sun outside the stadium for our tickets (see smiles before the

game!). The match was a sell-out: fathers, sons, grandsons, the fairer sex, everyone in the families seemed to be there, brandishing mementos like wooden cut-out palm trees and drums - as we all somehow crowded into the packed stadium. The atmos-

phere was electric. Unfortunately a big Granada forward hadn’t read the script and annoyingly scored after 20 minutes. But hey – remember Valladolid – we can come back again! Despite hurling the kitchen sink at Granada, agonisingly we had to wait

Marcello and Kirby are tops for Saints Sporting de San Fulgencio 3 La Coca de Aspe 1 By JORDAN LUCAS

AS Dolores and Cox could only draw their respective fixtures, the Saints took full to go level on points at the top with a superior goal difference. Saints had the best effort of the first half, Marco Aurelio’s angled effort smashing off the crossbar. They continued to control the tempo after the break and Carl Kirby popped in his first goal of the season after Giacomo Marcello and Aurelio had connected brilliantly to split the Aspe defence open.

Aspe’s goalkeeper made a stunning reaction save to keep Aurelio’s poked effort out before smothering Kirby’s left foot strike. The visitors then smashed in an equaliser against the run of play – but their joy was short-lived when Marcello was tripped in the box after a mazy run and Aurelio sent the keeper the wrong way from the spot. Marcello had a great chance to extend the lead, but dragged his volley wide. Aspe then came close with a

free-kick that sneaked past the post with Jovi Navarro beaten. Marcello was involved at the other end moments later – being booked for ‘simulation’ in the box. Unbelievably the same thing happened again, but the referee let the influential No.11 off the hook, much to the fury of the Aspe players and staff. They had a lot to be furious about as Giacomo outpaced his man on the wing and set Kirby up for his second of the day.

ELEVEN AND HELL TIME stood still for CD Montesinos as the referee found ELEVEN minutes of added time during which the home side scored twice to snatch a point. The game exploded after Monte brought on a defender, Johny, in the 89th minute and took off a forward, Chulo. A minute later Johny appeared to be head butted

Monte kicked in the butt

Sporting Orihuela 2 CD Montesinos 2 in an off-the-ball incident which later required several stitches to his face. The player reacted to his assailant and was sent off. Nine minutes into injury time, the home side pulled a goal back, after which twogoal Iker was kicked in another off-the-ball incident and required treatment from

the overworked physio. Sporting Orihuela equalised soon after - and the referee promptly blew the final whistle without even time to restart the game Iker had put Monte ahead in the first half directly from a corner kick. And minutes later, Iker struck again from

a Chulo cross to make it 20. The turning point came when Chulo rounded the home keeper and scored what everyone thought was the third goal for Monte. But the referee disallowed it, visiting boss Juanpe reacting angrily and being sent to the stands following a scuffle between the two benches.

Koeman to gun down old pals? By JEFF SCOTT

DESPITE playing against nine men for over a quarter of the match, Torry could not find a winner against Eldense on Sunday, returning with only a point in a 2-2 draw. This drops the Salineros to 12th in the league table, though only three points off the play off places. Perversely, they are only four points ahead of the relegation zone! This means that a win - and an emphatic one - is a must against bottom club Catarroja on Sunday. Last season's champions are on a losing run of six and their sole win

this term came at Borriol. Ex Catarroja stars Ernesto and Koeman are expected to line up against their former team-mates. This match is being switched to the Nelson Mandella stadium, just opposite the rear access to the Vicente Garcia, but remains a 5pm kick off. The reason for this change of venue is the work going on at the Vicente Garcia to improve the quality of the playing surface for the remainder of the season. It is being re-seeded, but will be back in action for the following home game on Thursday 6 December against

Borriol. A limited edition 2013 FC Torrevieja calendar goes on sale at the ground on Sunday, priced at €5. It features action shots of the current squad from matches this term and will make an attractive Christmas present.

Orihuela so close

ITV Orihuela RFC put up a brave show in their 22-13 defeat by last year’s runners-up UCAM. But a try by Tirso and three Alvaro penalties was not quite enough to salvage even a losers’ bonus point.

until ten minutes from time before ‘Zoomi’ Xumetra equalised, but relief quickly turned to despair as it wasn’t enough – and Granada were promoted on away goals (sob..). And so to last year. Elche shook ‘emselves down – again - and bravely got off to a flyer, by Christmas leading the league. But our star striker Angel was whisked into hospital over the New Year break for a groin operation and it was two months before he regained his form and scored again. The once-solid defence began to lose confidence and we lost several times by the odd goal after leading. In the calamitous second half of the season the Illicitanos only won twice, steadily sliding down the table to finish, once more, in mid-table. What a sad end to a terrific first half to the season. The poor coach Jose Bordelas, who had done so well for the club, was inevitably sacked in a desperate attempt to reverse the slide - which didn’t work.

Yet another hugely disappointing season! This year new coach Fran Escriba arrived in the close season and set to work. Out went half the old guard and six new players, mostly in midfield and up front, started the new term. In yet another dynamic start, Elche got off to a flier and as we (quietly) speak are currently top of Division 2A once more: played 14, won 10, drawn 2, lost 2. Goals for 23, against 8. Impressive statistics, yes, but we’re only one-third into a very long season (42 games, ends in mid-June 2013), and the worst thing we all want is a repeat of last year. Top striker Xumetra is out injured, but may be back in two weeks. Last Sunday we beat a very good, fourth-placed Alcorcon side 1 - 0 to keep us top by two points - but we go to second-placed Girona this weekend! So how about joining me and follow and support your own local team – watch this space! Mucho Elche!

Every Day’s a Football Day November

23rd 1918 League football resumes just 12 days after the end of the First World War. 24th 1991 The Brazilian championship semi final between Tres Rios America and Itaperuna is abandoned after just 10 minutes. Gomez scored for Itaperuna, but Edevalso, Edson Luis, Gama. Marcelo and Piao disputed the decision so much they were all sent off for dissent. The referee then realised Tres Rios only had six men on the field (the FIA minimum being seven), called a halt to proceedings and awarded the game to Itaperuna. 25th 1992 Tony Philliskirk scores five goals as Peterborough beat Kingstonian 9-1 in an FA Cup first round replay - but later has them wiped from the records. At 3-0 the Kingstonian keeper was hit by a coin thrown from the crowd and was unable to play on. The game was replayed with Kingstonian losing 1-0 26th 1992 Eric Cantona leaves Leeds to sign for Man Utd for a bargain £1.2 million 27th 1984 Isthmian League management committee eject Corinthian Casuals as their ground is not up to standard. Casuals were founder members of the league in 1895 28th 1992 Mike Bagley of Ibstock Cattybrook FC is booked for foul and abusive language during his side’s 2-0 defeat in a Bristol Suburban League match. Bagley then snatches the official’s notebook and starts trying to eat it, whereupon he is sent off! 29th 1993 Chairman Peter Swales resigns after 20 years at Man City, citing death threats as the reason behind the decision. 30th 1990 John Madjeski takes over at Reading, who are £750,000 in the red and losing ‘thousands more’ per week. Compiled by STUART EVANS


48

Friday, November 23, 2012

POCO LOCO!

ON AND OFF THE ROAD TO CHEL: From left, owner Roman Abramovich, sacked Roberto Di Matteo and caretaker boss Rafa Benitez

Chelsea’s mad axeman claims victim number 9 ONE minute Roman Abramovich’s team are crowned European Champions - at last - the biggest prize he couldn’t previously win. Oh, and throw in winning the FA Cup. The following season, his Chelsea are soon top of probably the most prestigious Premiership on the planet. A few injuries and suspensions to key players, just a few games are lost and drawn. Hey, that’s football (it happens) and his Blues sink to – third! So, in a savage knee-jerk reaction, he kicks out the one man who has just delivered everything he wanted on a plate, where eight other highlytalented individuals had clearly failed. Dignified Roberto Di Matteo deserved a gold medal – and definitely NOT the humiliation of the boot. I despise Abramovich, with his spoilt, vacant stare, hand on chin as he dreamily watches his plaything, obviously not ‘playing’ like other boys’ toys. Today I have only word for him – disgust. He is to football what King Herod was to babies! Having got that off my chest, Ruddy was the word at Carrow Road last Saturday, where the Canaries cat, John Ruddy performed miracles to keep Wayne

John McGregor reports

Rooneyless Manchester United out and knock the Reds off top spot. Did you see Alex Ferguson’s curiously ‘ruddy’ face following the game, as he paid tribute to Norwich’s brilliant ‘keeper, whose third clean sheet turned the Reds blue, courtesy of Anthony Pilkington’s superb header at the other end. Lambert’s lost lambs were linesmanned by marauding (weekends only) Manchester City, where Specsavers specialist Adrian Holmes flagged for something nobody else saw. A City penalty, then another, and by the time the usual suspects had all scored it was 5 – 0, and the Etihad boys were top again. With Canaries chirping halfway up, and Villa victims near the bottom of the bird table, maybe Paul Lambert wishes he’d never flown the East Anglia nest? Hooray for Hughton! Reading royally turned all-black Everton over for their first win to spice it up down the bottom. The Toffees’ fourth place is now taken by the brave Baggies, who held on to win 2 -1 despite Chelsea chucking everything at ‘em. West Brom now only one point behind the West Londoners… Battle of the bombed-in-Europe Blues at Stamford Bridge on Sunday as the European champions take on the Premiership champions - a real six-pointer at the top – and RAFA’s back!

Déjà vu? Five beats two? What is it with Emmanuel Adebayor? After getting topsy-turvy Tottenham off to a flier, he jumps, feet-first at Arsenal’s saint, Santi Cazorla, gets a deserved red card, leaving his teammates to face their bitterest rivals with ten men for most of the match. Five Arsenal goals from five different players blew sad Spurs away. Feet-first fouling? Luis Suarez was very lucky to get away with a similar challenge, he alone wasting wayward Wigan with two goals and making the other. Liverpool are now into the top half of the table - but where would they be without loopy Luis? QPR, now changed to ‘Quite Probably Relegated’, lost abjectly at home to surging Southampton who gave their under-pressure manager, nice Nigel Adkins, everything from start to finish. Time’s up for Mark Hughes as the lads at Loftus Road lie listless and lowest– and handy Harry’s hanging round, his missus wants him out working again… Rangers flounder at the foot with four points, four behind Southampton and Reading - and it’s only Man United away next. Old friends there, Mark? Crystal Palace and Cardiff stay first and second in the Championship, courtesy of wins over Derby and Middlesbrough, although Boro stay third. The chasing pack are snapping away at their heels, where everyone’s still biting everyone else. Elche? PTO!


The Courier Week 92