The Courier Edition 36 by TKO Media

Edition 36

www.thecourier.es

WHAT A CLOCK-U P!

WE apologise sincerely for te lling you to put your clocks back an hour last Sunday - a week before the rest of Europe! But do n’t forget to lose an hour at 3am TH IS Sunday. And this time we promise you it’s FOR RE AL.

Friday, October 28, 2011

O’DEARY! Massive cutbacks as Ryanair boss acts on Alicante threat By AMANDA BLACK

E.ON, E.OFF HAS YOUR electricity ever been cut off when your bill payments are up to date? It’s unthinkable for it to happen in the UK - but the gung-ho actions of Spanish utility companies are infuriating, particularly when a bank mix-up is involved. Restaurateurs Graham and Jane Lilley (pictured above) have just lost nine days’ business at Ricardo’s in El Raso after being cut off by E.ON. Read both sides of the story, Page 2.

RYANAIR services at Alicante’s El Altet airport will be cut dramatically from today (Friday) Michael O’Leary, boss of the Irish-based budget airline, announced on Tuesday that 31 routes will be pulled and flights to 27 other destinations reduced. Nine of the 11 Ryanair aircraft based at Alicante will be withdrawn. The move comes after a long battle with airport authority AENA over the use of passenger bridges. Since the opening of the new terminal earlier this year, AENA has insisted on the use of these bridges at a cost to airlines of €2 million. They say the bridges must be used for safety reasons, but O'Leary maintains the decision to force airlines to use them has

been taken for economic purposes. He accused the airport authority of using the charge to try to recoup some of the investment in the new terminal. AENA say the bridges must be used for safety reasons, but O’Leary has branded the move uneconomical and accused the airport of using the charge as a means of trying to recoup some of the investment in the new terminal. In a statement issued on Tuesday, O’Leary said: “It is not a question of security, but economics. AENA has spent too much money on a new terminal that Alicante does not need, for political reasons, and to recoup its investment it is charging the airlines this type of tax.”

O’Leary maintained that had it not been for the row over the bridges, only 10 routes would have been pulled over the winter months instead of 31. Asked if any of the routes would be reinstates next summer, he Michael said some would be be O’Leary: Accusations brought back but would not confirm how many or which. According to Ryanair, the move will create a loss of two million passengers and cost the airport €30 million. Some 2,000 jobs are likely to be lost. Routes cut will include Bournemouth, Cork and Doncaster. Routes with a reduced service will include Birmingham, Bristol, Glasgow Prestwick, Leeds Bradford, Gatwick, Stansted and Manchester. AENA played down the importance of the cuts and claimed the reductions would not be so different when comparing the off-season Ryanair flights of 2010-11 with 2011-12. However, a company source also indicated that Ryanair may be permitted to embark and disembark its passengers on most flights by foot as the process of testing the safety of such a system moves forward.

Friday, October 28, 2011

Bacon and Legs...or Pork Wellington? TELEPHONE

96 692 1003 679 096 309 JUNGLE DRUMS

E-MAIL office@thecourier.es WEB www.thecourier.es HEAD OFFICE Calle Luis Canovas Martinez 1. Urb Aguas Nuevas, Torrevieja 03183, ALICANTE PHONE: 96 692 1003 Email: office@thecourier.es OPENING HOURS Mon - Fri 1030 to 1730 EDITOR Donna Gee ADVERTISING SALES 96 621 1003 office@thecourier.es TELESALES 96 621 10037 616 332 178 Sally Los Alcazares, San Javier 618 391 491 Myra Quesada, Rojales, Torrevieja, San Miguel Tel. 618 583 765 Jean La Zenia, Playa Flamenca, Cabo Roig Tel. 618 898 034 Writers Donna Gee Amanda Black Sally Bengtsson Rebecca Marks Alex Trelinski Dave Silver Harold Heys Steve Bott Tony Mayes Jake Monroe

Picture of the week

96 692 1003

POWER MAD!

E.ON, E.OFF - bar counts cost of electricity cut-off EXCLUSIVE By DONNA GEE MIX-UP over electricity payments forced a thriving El Raso barrestaurant to close for TEN days - costing the business thousands of euros in lost trade.

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And Ricardo’s boss Graham Lilley insists the bungling bureaucracy of the company he calls ‘E.on E.Off’ is to blame. Unlike in the UK, Spain’s utility companies tend to operate a gung-ho attitude towards people who default on bill payments - whatever the reason. And although Graham owed E.On no money, he found himself not only without electricity, but also without a meter! E.On say they sent him written notice thathe was in arrears and gave him two months to clear the arrears. But Graham, who switched his supplier from Union Fenosa to E.On earlier this year, maintains E.On never contacted him. His version of events is: ‘‘I was not told when the changeover from Union Fenosa to E.On would actually take place but relied on the companies involved to make it happen. ‘‘We were in our fifth month of being supplied by E.On when, out of the blue and without notice or any contact from them, our supply was cut off. ‘‘I contacted my bank, Cam, and they NOT HAPPY: Graham lets rip after having to call off kindly contacted E.On who told them the the weekly quiz at Ricardo’s first three months’ payments were out-

Monday Sun and clouds High Temperature: 22°C RealFeel: 22°C

BARRED to BUSINESS: Ricardo’s last week standing. But at no time had they requested payment. I had received no invoices and no facturas, although they had the direct-debit facility available to them and had in fact used it to take the following two-and-a-half months’ payments. ‘‘I immediately got the bank to fax the outstanding monies to E.On. ‘‘Although they confirmed receipt of the faxed money and gave both myself and

Continued on Page 3

Today Showers High Temperature: 20°C RealFeel: 18°C

Saturday Rain and drizzle High Temperature: 23°C RealFeel: 20°C

Sunday Rain and cloudy High Temperature: 23°C RealFeel: 21°C

Tuesday Sunny High Temperature: 26°C RealFeel: 25°C

Wednesday Sunny High Temperature: 22°C RealFeel: 21°C

Thursday Partly cloudy High Temperature: 27°C RealFeel: 25°C

Friday, October 28, 2011

DEVOTED TO THE FINISH

Tragic couple would not be parted A MERSEYSIDE couple who died in the weekend flash flood in Finestrat were "the most devoted couple you would ever want to meet", according to one of their closest friends. Retired engineer Kenneth Hall, 72, and his wife Mary, 70, were at a market pitched on a dry river bed when it flooded after heavy rain. As torrents of water surged in, the couple, from Bootle, were swept to their deaths. They leave three sons, Kenneth junior, Keith and Chris, and a daughter, Carol, who recently gave birth to a granddaughter. Their great friend Pat Mercer, 62, said the Halls were midway through a holiday in Benidorm. ‘‘They went there twice a year,’’ she revealed. TRAGIC END: Mary and Kenneth Hall were swept away They loved it - they went there for the last 20 years or so. They were fabuneighbours are traumatised cific orders not to do so. By SALLY BENGSSON lous, they were the most by it," she added. "It has hit The river bed runs down to devoted couple you would a wall of water up to a metre me. They have lived here for the sea and is a natural route ever want to meet. Kenny high. Their bodies were more than 40 years." of flood water when heavy was a proper gentleman. found trapped under a trailer Spanish TV1 news report- rains fall. Prior to the tragedy, Mary was happy-go-lucky." after the flood. ed that Finestrat local council rain had fallen torrentially for Pat visited Benidorm Two others were taken to had twice been told not to two hours further inland. recently and had been due to Five other people were meet the Halls at the market, hospital, and a 90-year-old hold the market on the dry was missing for a time but river bed due to the possibili- injured in the flood. An 88which they visited regularly. ty of flash flooding - but that year-old man was hospiIn Madrid, BBC correspon- was later found unharmed. She said all the family councillors had taken no talised with a fractured arm, dent Sarah Rainsford said the Halls were sitting outside were "absolutely shocked" notice. It was also reported and a 51-year-old with back a cafe stall at the weekly and that son Kenneth had that the Town Hall had paved injuries. The other three were market when they were hit by flown out to Spain. "All the over the ravine, against spe- treated for serious grazes.

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From Page 2 my accountant an assurance over the phone that power would be reinstated, E.ON actually cancelled our contact and informed the company responsible for the meter to remove it.’’ A spokesperson for E.ON told me: ‘‘We are very sorry this has happened– we know how important electricity is to people and the last thing we want to do is to cut off anyone’s supply. ‘‘We cannot discuss

No negotiations with ETA, say Spain’s leaders By AMANDA MARKS ETA last week announced a ‘definitive cessation’ of its decades-long campaign of violence and called on the Spanish and French governments to respond with “a process of direct dialogue”. But the Spanish government quickly ruled out negotiation with the Basque terrorist group. “There is nothing to negotiate with ETA,” said Carne Chacon, Spain’s defence minister, in the first clear signal that no deals would be struck until the organisation had disarmed and disbanded. Significantly, in the statement made by three hooded ETA members last Thursday, the terrorist organisation fell short of announcing plans to hand over its weapons. However, Spain’s leaders still greeted the announcement as a positive step. Prime Minister Zapatero called it a “victory for democracy, law and reason”.

Distrust PP leader Mariano Rajoy descrbed it was “good news” and added: “It shows how a society knows how to remain united and defend its position because this announcement was made without any concessions.” French President Nicolas Sarkozy called it a “victory for democracy over violence”. But families of ETA victims viewed the announcement with distrust and said it did not go far enough. ETA’s 43-year campaign of violence has claimed 829 lives in Spain and France. Angeles Pedraza, head of the Association of the Victims of Terrorism (AVT), told Spanish radio: “ETA says there is a definitive cessation but they do not say that there was a defeat so, for us, the victims, this statement is worthless. “Of course we are happy that there is a cease to violence but there needs to be more. “They have to give up their arms, they have to dissolve and they have to ask their victims for forgiveness for the damage they have caused, and of course they have to turn themselves over to justice. “This is just another statement, another little step, I don't believe them,” she said. “It is the statement we expected but not the statement that we wanted.”

E.ON or E.OFF to us before the meter was removed. ‘‘We have looked into the case and are satisfied that we have acted correctly in everything we have done.’’ Graham (pictured) has now switched back to his original supplier, HC details of individual accounts, Energia – though it took but I can tell you that we sent them over a week to organwritten notification to Mr ise the installation. Rcardo’s re-opened on Lilley three times that his account was in arrears. He Wednesday,. nine days then had two months to talk after it was forced to shut.

Friday, October 28, 2011

Shame of a society that puts self first A TODDLER is struck and seriously injured in a road accident, but is left unattended by passersby who just walk on. She's hit again by another vehicle and then, finally, a refuse collector sees the little girl and tries to help. People interviewed said they were reluctant to intervene in case they were somehow implicated, blamed and dragged into court to pay compensation. Sounds very like America, doesn't it? People thinking of themselves first and anyone else a very poor second. But this was not America, it was China. And the incident has rocked the nation, making people think about where their society is going. Not before time, if that is how China is heading. America has been like that for years, DANGER: The because of the appalling litigation culture, tragic toddler and it has spread to Britain with no-win-nowanders in fee solicitors falling over themselves looking the road for so-called victims. It has led to people faking crashes and dreaming up all manner of incidents which The UK needs to put an end to no-win-no-fee solicitors somehow are someone else's fault. soliciting themselves for such work. And if it is proved that Apparently 18 people walked past the little girl and they acted to try to extract money from an innocent victim, ignored her. They could have saved her from being hit the they should be jailed for a very long time. second time, and possibly saved her life. Sadly, but unsurJust as a tail-piece to this story, I hear that many more prisingly, she died. horses have been killed in hit-and-run accidents on New One Chinese commentator summed up: "Now people Forest roads this year than in the past. ignore everything other than money. This society is lacking How anyone can hit a horse and just leave it injured and people with a conscience badly." suffering by the roadside beats me. Yet another example of selfish people trying to avoid their responsibilities. Horses in Britain today, a toddler tomorrow? LOCAL councils are in business to look after the interests of the public, providing a service and making life that bit better for us all. When they don't come up to scratch and get things wrong, for any reason, then it’s the public who suffer. I've got several examples this week of councils seriously falling down on the job, not only causing misery but resulting in people dying. It's not surprising that I have scant regard for councils - it's my belief that in the UK they cost us too much for too little and in Spain are just not protecting the people they are there to serve. Read on... INQUEST: The Firstly, in the UK. councils for years have had powers to child’s parents buy unoccupied houses and put them back into habitable face the press order. It's now calculated that there are tens of thousands of properties throughout the UK A Chinese newspaper reported incidents in January in which have been empty for which elderly men received no assistance after falling in the years. Yet we have hundreds street because people did not want to get involved. of thousands of people on It cited a case in which a man who helped an injured eld- housing waiting lists. erly woman to hospital, was then found by a court to be In one city a house has liable for some of her medical costs. been left empty since 1977. It In another case, an elderly woman believed to have fallen is owned by a recluse who in the road, accused a man who stopped to help her of hit- refuses to discuss the matter. ting her with his car. This also attracted considerable atten- Two decades ago the council tion. gave him a £55,000 grant to In general, people feared that if they helped out, they repair the place and make it might incur costs or be blamed for the accident. habitable. He pocketed the One person commented: "There have been so many money but did nothing. cases where people have been treated unjustly after doing It's still empty today and good things.’’ obviously causes considerWhen a society breaks down in such a dramatic way, the able distress to neighbours. outcome can only be an increasing number of victims. This You can imagine what state must be a wake-up call, not only for China, but for all coun- it's in. Perhaps now this tries where money has become god and people put self first pathetic and incompetent and anyone and everything else second. Make no bones council will be shamed into about it, Britain is not too far behind America and China. doing something about it.

Still in Britain, we have seen the crazy battle of Dale Farm travellers’ site, where, for ten years, families were allowed to live on land without planning permission. This illegal use should have been nipped in the bud as soon as it started. If caravans were sent away right from the start, then there would have been no battle, no long, protracted legal arguments and no multi-million pound legal bills with those grabbing solicitors pocketing a fortune. Now let's come to Spain, where councils are also doing their very best to cause distress and mayhem. In Andalucia, the local council gave permission for villas to be built, and these were snapped up by Brits and others, many seeking an ideal retirement home in the sun. They had not the slightest idea there was anything wrong. They had done everything they should have done to ensure the properties were legal. But along comes the regional council who say the local council had no right to grant permission and claimed the homes were built illegally. How's this for utter incompetence? If the local council had no right to grant permission, it should not have given the impression it had. If the regional government is right, they should have blamed the local council and forced them to build "legal' homes, not ordered the bulldozers in to demolish houses around their owners. All this has been happening at the same time as a Spanish government official has been urging Brits to move to Spain for a new life in the sun. Not a chance as long as there are incompetent councils alive and well in Spain. One final thought on this - I wonder whether the regional government would have been so quick to act if the homes were owned by Spanish nationals? And now for the last and most shocking act of council folly. In a village inland from Benidorm, a local council allowed the cementing over of a dry river bed and permitted a weekly market to be held there. Just when the market was at its busiest, a flash flood wrecked everything, ripping through stalls, sweeping dozens of people off their feet and causing the deaths of two Brits and injuring six others. Local councils have a vital and important job to serve the people. There is no room for stupidity and incompetence. People put their trust in councils that they are going to get things right. We deserve better.

COUNCIL FOLLY: The Finestrat authorities have a lot to answer for

Friday, October 28, 2011

BEV BALLESTEROS met her Alicantino husband Andres in Benidorm 34 years ago, at the tender age of 17. They went on to spend most of their married life in sunny (you must be joking) Manchester – but in 2005 returned to Alicante, with Bev now fluent in Spanish. ‘‘Being bilingual has proved to be many things, but mostly amusing,’’ she says. Hilarious might be a better word – judge for yourselves as Bev reflects on her Anglo-Spanish double life.

I’m not pregnant, folks - but I am so embarazada!

WITH a young daughter in tow, we decided in 1983 to return to Spain and set up home in Elche. Needless to say we didn't succeed that time and only stayed for six months. However, there was still enough time for me to make a few gigantic language mistakes. My mum-in-law, Alfonsa, who, like all of Andres' family, does not speak one word of English, took me to the indoor meat market one Saturday morning…at 6am! She loved to go early to ensure that the produce was fresh. FRESH? Half of it was still mooing! Anyway, the place was virtually customer free, so we had the full attention of the staff. As I do not have a volume button (just ask longsuffering hubby) I asked very loudly in Spanish for one kilo of rabbit. At least, I thought I did.

Anagram Rabbits in Spanish are conejos, which happens to be an anagram of cojones (or b****cks to put it crudely). Of course I mixed the two words up and the very few people that didn't hear me were promptly told what I had said by an equally loud mother-in-law. On my early visits to my future husband’s family home, I would practise my then very limited Spanish on any victim who would listen to me. One day I arrived at Alicante airport with a heavy suitcase and tried to warn the taxi driver that it weighed a

Andres and Bev: As good as their word ton. The word heavy in Spanish is pesado – but I proceeded to tell the cabbie that my luggage was pescado - a FISH! He looked at me a little startled and ignored me from that moment on. When I arrived at Andres' mum and dad's home, I promptly told them my story in very broken Spanish, thinking the word for embarrassed was ‘’embarazada’’. Foot in it again. That word means PREGNANT! The look on the faces of my future parents-in-law, with their very traditional Catholic upbringing, will stay with me forever. Of course, it's not only us ex-pats who get their "mords wixed up". Andres and I have a very dapper Spanish friend called Carlos who comes to us to practise his English. On one occasion we were

discussing food and catering words – and our likes and dislikes. Carlos proudly announced in his latin accent: " I like chicken, but I don't like c*ck! He meant capon - but how do you explain his c*ck-up to him with a straight face? Another time we were talking about my daughter's wonderful news on becoming pregnant. Oh?" said Carlos, "will she be feeding her with her t*ts?’’ I think I actually sweated blood trying to correct him without blushing or giggling like a schoolkid. (Note to self: Practise keeping face straight in mirror). Remember - a titter a day doesn't keep the doctor away. But it does make you feel better. NEXT WEEK: More Bev gaffes - and some Andres clangers too

Time to pipe up TORREVIEJA Pipes and Drums are on the lookout for new members. If you fancy joining this popular, rousing band, call Barry on 626 839 951 or Donnie on 619 800 752. The band rehearses in Hoggies Bar, San Luis on Mondays and Wednesdays at 10am.

Friday, October 28, 2011

600,000 Brits KOd foreign holiday to save money Almost 600,000 Britons sacrificed a foreign holiday this summer in a bid to save money in the face of the economic downturn. Thomas Cook, the tour operator and high street chain, said last month that bookings over the summer were flat. In the latest sign that families are severely altering their lifestyles to make ends meet, the number of UK residents taking an overseas holiday over the three months to August was 13.4 million, a fall

Torrevieja council in huge charity handout TORREVIEJA council has promised to hand over €130,000 to three charities working in the municipality. The money is being split between APANEE the association of parents of pupils with special educational needs Torrevieja Charitable Food Association, and the local branch of the Red Cross. APANEE has been working in close collaboration with the town hall since 2004.

Benefit Three of the collective groups who benefit from the charities support those who cannot afford enough food, disabled people and pensioners. Asociación Alimentos Solidarios Torrevieja will receive €51,000 to help ensure those on the margins of society at least receive one nutritional meal a day. And the Red Cross will receive €30,000 to continue lending a hand to pensioners with disabilities, helping immigrants and assisting those in poverty.

of 578,000 from the same period in 2010, according to new figures from the Office for National Statistics (ONS). The ONS figures also showed that the number of Britons who took a foreign holiday over the 12 month period to August was 36.4 million, a fall of 20 per cent from the 45.5 million that went on a foreign holiday in the 2008 calendar year. The savage cutbacks highlight the degree to which families' disposible income has been hit over the financial

crisis. Household budgets are being stretched by rising bills and soaring inflation. With the cost of living rising by almost 5%, Britons are cutting back on any non-essential expenditure, such as overseas trips. It is estimated that a typical family’s spending on essential living costs, such as food, utility bills and mortgages, will account for almost 70% of its disposable income by the end of the year. This compares to 56% just ten years ago, accord-

ing to recent research by stockbroking firm Oriel Securities. COLDPLAY, who are due to top the charts with new album Mylo Xyloto this weekend, kicked off their European tour with a majestic outdoor show in Spanish captital's premier bull ring. Coldplay - now five albums into their career - mixed older hits such as Yellow, Politik and The Scientist with more recent material, along with songs from their new release, including Paradise.

ECSTASY KILLED TRAGIC JODIE

TOXICOLOGY studies carried out on the body of Jodie Nieman, the 20 year old British tourist who died last summer in Ibiza after collapsing in a disco, have shown that she had taken Ecstasy. She perished as a result of a pulmonary edema, which could well have been caused by the taking of MDMA and MDA. The report from the National Toxicology Institute makes it clear that despite the presence of these substances typical of taking Ecstasy, there is nothing else of note - not even alcohol -which could have led to her medical crisis. It now falls to Judge José Espinosa in Elvissa to rule on the circumstances of her death on July 23 last year. The judicial investigation has ruled out the fear, as expressed over the summer, that the Ecstasy was adulterated with some fatal component. That is now known not to be the case. The pills Jodie took were pink and stamped with a five pointed star. Some 1500 of the same pills have since been impounded by EDOA agents in Eivissa. THE new Los Arcos del Mar Menor Hospital has dealt with 32,504 emergencies and 615 births since it opened in March. Some 3,666 people have been hospitalised, and 67,722 attended as out-patients. The hospital has 329 beds and 49 out-patient surgeries. It also has a group of translators who provide an excellent, free service - their number is 968 565 000.

Jodie Nieman: Disco tragedy:

SPANISH Defence Minister Carme Chacon said on Tuesday that Spain would withdraw its troops from Libya as soon as NATO formally announced the end of its operations there. “This means that all the troops that we have today in Libyan territory will be in Spain before October 31,” she added. “The efforts carried out during these seven months have borne fruit,” Chacon said. “Today Libyans have seen the dream which led them to revolt against the dictatorship fulfilled: to live in a country with the right to decide their own destiny.”

Four face 16 years over silo disaster Some of the recovered pills and cash

FOUR people face a possible 16 years in prison for a tragic accident at a cement plant in Carboneras four years ago when one of the silos collapsed. Five people lost their lives in the accident at the Holcim plant in July 2007 and another three were seriously hurt. The Almería prosecution service considers that the accident was caused by accumulated corrosion during the structure’s 25 years of operating. The prosecution report on the case indicates that ‘at no time’ was the interior of the silo inspected and notes that the corrosion could have been observed with just a visual inspection. The four accused are the ex plant director, the two who were responsible for accident prevention in the workplace, and the maintenance chief. The prosecutors said they were all aware in the hours prior to the silo’s collapse that it was not operating correctly which, ‘for some incomprehensible reason’, they did not associate with the corrosion.

Friday, October 28, 2011

PACK TO THE FUTURE I PLAYED a game of cards on Sunday – and ended up feeling like a cross between the Queen of Hearts and Albert Einstein. I’m talking about Tarot cards, something which never interested me until I put my name down, along with a dozen others, to have a personal reading from a lady called Michaela in a local bar. I honestly didn’t know what to expect as I cut the cards and Michaela dealt a dozen or so to herself, face up (strange card game, don’t even get my own hand). ‘‘This is very interesting,’’ said Michaela, hand hovering over the cards one by one. ‘‘You are a VERY clever person. In fact I don’t think I have met anyone as clever as you before.’’ How dare she belittle my genius and not even mention my supreme modesty!

All this Halloween fuss, but whatever happened to the Guy I remember?

‘‘Are you a writer?’’ asked Michaela, with irritatingly infectious enthusiasm. Now she had me vaguely interested. Either she was a good guesser or someone had clued her in about my profession before my reading began. I decided to open up about my work and Michaela went on to tell me correctly that someone in the UK loved me very much and that someone close to me (my daughter) was expecting a baby. Pretty mundane stuff – but one prediction did intrigue me. Michaela insisted that my career is going to reach new heights. For someone who came to Spain to retire, and instead found herself editing The Courier, that can only mean one thing. I’m going to be asked to become the world’s oldest astronaut.

FINDERS KEEPERS

I BLAME it on the Americans. In fact, I blame everything on the Americans - they are big enough to take it. Even the ones who weigh less than 20 stone.

Can any of us say we are truly honest?

I’VE always believed that honesty is the best policy. Indeed, statistics suggest that for most of us, it’s the ONLY policy. But just how honest are we really? If you found a purse containing £60 cash in the street, but with no way of identifying the owner, would you hand it in to the police? I know I would… because I did. Find £60 and take it to the copshop, that is... I remember reading somewhere that something like 85 per cent of people are honest, in that they would never dream of taking other people’s property. That’s an encouraging statistic amid all the horror tales involving burglars, thieves, handbag snatchers and pickpockets. And I believe that figure is not far off the mark. The vast majority of us have no truck with the scum who believe that taking other people’s property is a much better option than working. And I like to think most people would do what I did when I found that purse near a cinema in the centre of Manchester late one Friday evening. It was a pretty little purse, probably belonging to a teenager – and inside was a wad of notes amounting to around £60. It didn’t even cross my mind to pocket the money…my only concern was for that poor young girl whose week’s wages had been in that purse. So I took it to Bootle Street police station, where I was told that if it wasn’t claimed within a certain number of weeks, the money would be mine.

I’m talking about the over-the-top Halloween hoo-ha that has whooped its way into Britain...and all but killed off one of the nation’s most treasured occasions. When I was a child, Guy Fawkes Night was one of the biggest days of the year. A tradition marking the 1605 Gunpowder Plot, it commemorated a failed assassination attempt against King James I by a group of provincial English Catholics. The plan was to blow up the House of Lords during the State Opening of Parliament something I doubt many British 10-year-olds these days know anything about. They are more concerned with Halloween, where they are free to frighten the lives out of old ladies by donning horrific masks and demanding sweets with menaces. I wonder what you get if you ask for a ‘trick’ rather than a ‘treat’? Does one of the little demons remove his mask and turn out to be Paul Daniels? To me, the Guy Fawkes ered it was actually a wad of fivers. She took it back to the surgery, where culture of my youth was so she discovered that a young man had much more embracing. For days, even weeks lost the money – which in fact before the event, we’d go belonged to his boss. June’s reward was the knowledge from door to door with effigies of that she reunited the fivers with their makeshift rightful owner – while I never did get Fawkes and implore houseclosure on my .not-so-little find. holders to give us ‘a penny So much for our honesty when it for the Guy’. comes to the property of Delightful other people….but how many of us Then, as darkness fell on have never tried to cheat the tax- November 5, the neighman? bourhood would gather for Like giving a plumber the nod a fireworks spectacular in when he tells you his repair work will which Guys galore would cost £70 plus VAT but he’ll do it for go up in smoke on top of a £60 cash? massive communal bonfire. Let’s be honest, virtually all of us How that delightful tradihave done it. Yes, all those scrupu- tion came to be usurped by lously honest people like myself who the hideous ‘trick or treat’ would not dream of pocketing other people’s culture, I do not know. property. I believe Halloween has In the eyes of the law, wheeler-dealing with the Celtic origins and was origplumber to avoid VAT is far worse than pocketing inally a pagan holiday in that tenner you find in the street. Yet we do it honour of the dead. despite the fact that deliberately avoiding the payBut I honestly cannot ment of tax is not only dishonest, but a serious remember anyone celecriminal offence. brating it when I was young. Double standards? I prefer to look at it as an We may have started it honest way of getting my own back on the but as with everything else, legalised extortionists who tax me on what I earn, the world has pinged it back then tax me again when I spend my taxed earnin our faces with interest. ings, and do it a third time when I die. But I yearn for my grandIn other words, they celebrate my demise by children to enjoy the atmoscompleting a hat-trick of robberies and fleecing phere of Guy Fawkes Night my children and grandchildren in the process. .So what would I do if I found a purse containing as I did half a century ago. November 5 has a spe£60 with a note saying it belonged to a tax inspeccial place in my heart. tor? And nobody will convince Easy. I’d use it to pay the plumber. me that the Halloween takeover was not a devious plot by those over-the-top, razzamatazz Americans.

‘’And I can tell you that 80 per cent of cash we get handed in is never claimed,’’ the desk officer told me. Predictably, I got a phone call some weeks later telling me that, in keeping with the statistics, nobody had claimed the purse and its contents. So would I come and collect it.. But the money was demonstrably NOT mine - it belonged to the person who had dropped the purse. There was no way my conscience would allow me to have it…so I told the police to give it to one of their charities. To this day, I don’t know where the money ended up. I also continue to wonder how much pain the loss caused to the purse’s owner…and why she did not go to the police station to see if it had been handed in. My friends have similar tales to tell. My neighbour June, for example, recalls picking up what seemed to be a five pound note outside her doctor’s surgery as she got into her car one day. When she got home, she discov-

WANT TO COMMENT? donna@thecourier.es

Friday, October 28, 2011

But Benidorm’s Pride guys weather storm Barcelona, Madrid, Sitges and Gran Canaria have hosted successful Gay Pride events for many years. Last week it was Benidorm’s turn to take centre stage in an extravaganza organised by the town’s Gay Business Association (BGBA) By NORMAN SPRING and ANTHONY BESTER BENIDORM’S first Gay Pride Festival got off to a very moist start (no giggling please) last Friday. The heavens opened in the morning, causing flash floods throughout the area in which two British pensioners sadly lost their lives in the Finestrat area. They died when a high wall of water crashed into them whilst they were enjoying a morning coffee at the Friday market. The sun eventually returned to dry everybody out and the three day festival got under way with a “Come As You Dare” Mardi Gras style parade on the promenade of Levante beach at 6.30 in the evening. The main stage was going to be on the Playa Del Mal Pas, but it was moved for Health and Safety reasons to the Julio Iglesias Arena in Parque De E’l Aiguera. Entry to the Park was by Pledge Band which cost €10 – this donation will go to local charities. When we got to the park the acts had already started and we saw some Glitz and Glamour provided by the Benidorm Palace in a special tribute act. Several headline acts then appeared and the show closed at about midnight. Two satellite stages had been opened in the Old Town at 9pm, the first one in front of the Queens Hotel in P l a z a Constitucion and the second at

Escanario Mercado, by the Open Mind Bar. For the three nights, we chose to go to the Queens Hotel stage and again, lots of good quality acts played until about 2am when the stages closed. The atmosphere here was really electric, and the crowds gathered around the stage were thoroughly enjoying every minute of it. The Old Town bars stayed open until 6am and the clubs didn’t shut until 8am! The acts over the three days included boy bands, drag queens strutting their stuff, tribute acts, fashion shows (male underwear – cor!!!),and plenty of DJs . In other words something for everyone. There were more than 60 hours of entertainment, with over 135 artistes from all over Europe. Understandably, we know that there were a few teething problems and hope that this will not mar the event from becoming an annual date in Benidorm’s calendar. To quote Julia Grant, Secretary of the BGBA: ‘’We have worked very hard at organising the first Benidorm Gay Pride and I believe that four or five years down the line, Benidorm could be hosting the biggest gay pride event in Europe”. We had a thoroughly enjoyable three days and nights, eating, drinking, singing, dancing, laughing and chatting with lots of new friends we met from many countries. If it’s a party you wanted, it’s a party you got. Lots of bars in the Old Town had drinks promotions and special guest performances until late, and with the parties pumping out the tunes late into the night, it really was the place to be for the true scene.

I ONCE went to the airport to meet someone off an incoming flight. But instead of waiting at Arrivals, I landed up at Departures. By the time I realised my mistake and arrived at Arrivals, the passenger I had arranged to pick up had long since departed. Confused? No more than I was. My sense of direction is, to put it loosely, every which way. When I was a child my mother had to daub an 'L' and 'R' on the soles of my footwear in indelible ink. But I still could not figure which was my left or right because I put my shoes on the wrong feet anyway. My uncle had a similar problem. He had trouble distinguishing between forwards and backwards. The poor guy tended to walk out of the house and announce: 'Hello, I'm back.' My uncle is no longer with us. He back-shuffled off this mortal coil some time ago. Anyway, distance is another difficulty for me. I have trouble working out how far away a place is, whether it be five miles to the east or 40 furlongs to the west. (Mind you, the furlong rarely gets a mention unless it's concerning a horse race.) As for the newer stuff, metres and kilometres, forget it. Blimey, why do I bother even getting out of whichever side of the bed of a morning? I remember once discussing directions and distances with Dave the barman at my local. 'Wow!' commented Dave. 'I never knew you were a jockey.' What!' I said. 'No, the horse race remark was merely an aside. Didn't you notice I'd put brackets around that observation? 'I was trying to make the point that I cannot fathom distances when I'm driving anywhere.' 'But you don't need to work it out,' said Dave. 'That's why you have a milometer in the car.' 'A what?' 'The dial that tells you how many miles you're doing. Have you never noticed the number at the end counting up? That denotes tenths of a mile. The faster you drive, the quicker it whizzes round.' 'But I thought that was just an ordinary clock telling me the time,' I said amazed. 'It's no wonder I always think I'm late for

Friday, October 28, 2011

A trip to the airportâ&#x20AC;&#x201C; but not furlong

everything. 'Anyway, I hardly look at all those dials and clocks and numbers. I prefer to stare through the window in front of me so I can concentrate on my driving.' Dave the barman scratched his head, a sign that he was either creating a thought or that his hair needed shampooing. 'Wouldn't it be great, though,' he said eventually, 'if we had a little screen on our vehicle dashboards and a system of satellites that provided autonomous geo-spatial positioning with global coverage.' I stared at Dave long and hard. 'You really do live on a different planet, don't you? Let's face it, you'll never be an inventor with crackpot ideas like that.' Dave toddled off to serve somebody and then came back. 'By the way, did you go to the funeral?' he asked me. 'Funeral?' I said. 'Who on earth passed away?' 'The person you were supposed to meet at the airport,' Dave said. 'The one you said had long since departed when you got there.' 'That's it!' I announced, climbing off my bar stool. 'I'm going home for some peace and quiet. I'll leave you to sort out that stupid satellite navigation idea you've been prattling on about.' 'G'night, Dave,' said Dave. 'I'm going home soon, too. I need to wash my hair.' I should have realised there would be no calm atmosphere at Chez Silver. 'So where is she?' demanded Mrs S. 'Huh?' 'My mother. You went to meet her at the airport and were supposed to bring her back here for her supper.' 'Oh, lummy,' I observed. 'I thought she'd made her own way here when I couldn't find her at Departures . . . or

Arrivals.' (Or even when I popped into the airport bar for a quick one.) I placed my hand over my heart. 'I swear to you I shall go back out onto those mean streets, find your mother and bring her back safe. But first, luv, make us a cuppa while I watch Coronation Street.' 'Don't bother putting yourself out, Sir Lancelot,' said Mrs S. 'Mother is HERE. A taxi brought her. She's in our bathroom as we speak, freshening up her make-up. And she's not best pleased with you.' 'I must go to her to apologise,' I said and started up the stairs. 'But why are you taking a chair with you?' Mrs S asked puzzled. 'Because I'm not having my favourite mother-in-law standing in front of the mirror for the next two hours trying to make herself look presentable. The poor woman needs to sit while she's slapping on all her slap.' I paused outside the bathroom door and knocked tentatively. 'Had a good holiday in Spain, dear?' I asked. A voice boomed out in response. 'My daughter should NEVER have married you!' 'I quite agree,' I mumbled and wedged the dining room chair under the bathroom door handle. I took off my shoes, tiptoed back downstairs and left the house. Dave the barman stared at my muddy socks as I ordered a mulled claret. 'Creeping out of the house without Mrs S noticing?' he giggled. 'Not at all, Dave,' I said. 'My shoes have been killing me all day. I must have put them on the wrong way round again.â&#x20AC;&#x2122;

Friday, October 28, 2011

SPAIN’S HEADLINES 12

Friday, October 28, 2011

Moisès, 103, sets sights on Senate IT’S an unlikely age to step into the political fray, but 103-year-old Moisès Broggi believes the state of the world, and of his beloved Catalonia, merits a final burst of activism. And that is why he is standing for a seat in the Spanish Senate. Should the retired doctor, who is standing for a coalition led by the Catalan Republican Left (ERC) party, win a seat on November 20, he will be striking a blow for Catalan separatism while becoming Spain’s oldest-ever senator. “Well, the party nominated me,” he says. “I’ve always been interested in politics and in my homeland. The situation now is especially interesting because of the problems that exist these days.” Broggi is the party’s main candidate for Barcelona, where a coalition it formed with local socialists and greens won three of the city's four seats in the 2007 election. This time around, ERC is standing in a smaller coalition of separatists, and looks unlikely to win a seat - unless Broggi’s campaign style wins over the electorate.

Austerity His decision to stand as an independent on the coalition list comes with Catalonia suffering public health cuts as the regional government drives through an austerity programme to reduce spending. The retired doctor’s interest in politics dates back to the start of the Spanish Civil War in 1936, when he served as a field surgeon for the international brigades – the volunteer fighters from around the world who helped defend the Spanish republic against General Francisco Franco. “I met people who were important to me and were idealists opposed to tyranny,” said Broggi, whose work during the conflict, and that of his fellow volunteer doctors, set many of the rules for field surgery in World War II. He survived Franco’s Spain thanks to the protection accorded by friends, but he had to practise medicine privately. Broggi sees similarities between Catalonia, with a mainly bilingual population of 7.5 million, and other stateless nations such as Scotland. He wants an amicable separation of Catalonia from Spain, but admits it is unlikely to happen in the short term. “Problems are better solved in the places where they occur,” he said.

PHARMACIES in the Alicante region are owed millions of euros by the Department of Health, and the crisis has now reached “red alert”, according to the Alicante president of the College MOISÈS of Pharmacies. BROGGI: Around 90 million euros is owed to 800 pharI’ve always macies in the province, but Jaime Carbonell been warns: “The debt will expand to 200 million”. interested In response to the crisis, the Department of in politics Health has set up a payment schedule, but the and in my next payment will not be made until January. homeland’ The Alicante College of Pharmacies is now seeking a loan of around €200 million to ensure pharmacies can stay open over the coming months. Carbonell added: “Nobody is spared from the current situation, the whole society is very bad. We are at a high risk, but are working to get around this serious crisis.” Because of non-payment, many pharmacies in the Valencian community are already facing problems with supply of medications, particularly the most expensive. Spain received praise and warnings from top European leaders during an emergency European Council meeting in Brussels to discuss the euro crisis. Depending on who you listened to, Spain was either no THE DEATH of top rider Marco Simoncelli during longer at risk of going the Sunday’s MotoGP motorcycling race in Malaysia has way of Greece, Ireland and sent shock waves through the sport, with the tragedy Portugal, or still needing to do more to calm markets. being keenly felt in Spain. On Sunday, Nicolas Spanish riders were among the first to pay tribute to the 24-year-old Italian. Jorge Lorenzo wrote on Twitter: “I Sarkozy praised the “enordon't know what to say about a day like that. I only know mous efforts” made by Spanish Prime Minister José that we will miss you. Rest in peace Marco.” And Danni Pedrosa said: “These are things that Luis Rodríguez Zapatero and shouldn’t happen but this is sport and sometimes we the “responsibility” of opposiforget the danger of this sport. Simoncelli was brave, tion leader Mariano Rajoy in dealing with the economic very brave.” “It’s incredible how life changes in a few seconds,” crisis. “Spain is no longer on Marco Simoncelli said Aleix Espargaró. “We will always remember you the front lines” of the euroSimoncelli 58 [his bike number]. It’s hard, very hard; it zone debt crisis, said the makes you rethink many things.” French leader. The patriarch of Spanish motorcycling, Ángel Nieto, But Sarkozy’s confidence wrote on his blog about the terrible silence that folin Spain did not appear to be for ent euros in cash, equipm lowed the crash and news of Simoncelli’s death. He shared by German of e sal and tion the manipula told how in the press room, journalists typed their Chancellor Angela Merkel, of y ntit drugs and a large qua copy without saying a word, many of them in tears. who said Spain was still in h. his has marijuana and trouble and demanded more are Simoncelli had been a favourite with reporters. The detainees, who While Simoncelli’s aggressive riding style had seen action. “Spain has done a lot, e hav h bot 33, aged 41 and him come into conflict with other riders, Nieto said but it will probably have to do criminal records. that “off the track it was hard to be angry with him. His much more to restore market easy-going personality made him loved by everyone.” confidence,” she warned.

Spain feels shock of bike hero’s death

T U O M ‘E F IF N S IA D R A GU rs GUARDIA Civil office can roc Mo have arrested two m by men after catching the of full age surprise in a gar in d sol be to d tine des drugs San Javier. rtThe police had been ale

strong ed to the garage by a they en wh d an smell the in ck cra a h looked throug dryana riju ma tted spo r, doo ing on shelves. the When they entered 0 98 nd fou y garage, the

Pharmacies on red alert over €900m debt

Friday, October 28, 2011

CEMETERIES COME ALIVE FOR DAY OF THE DEAD PEOPLE across Spain will remember the dead on Tuesday as they celebrate All Saints’ Day (Todos Los Santos). Cemeteries will be packed as thousands visit the burial places, or plaques, of their loved ones. Elaborate floral displays will be mounted and the Eucharist, or Mass, will be performed in cemeteries several times a day. Many families will travel to their family’s place of origin to honour and remember their ancestors. There are few religious days that mean quite so much to the ordinary people of Spain as All Saints’ Day. In common with other festivals, a number of special dishes are associated with All Saints’ Day. Chief amongst these is eating roasted chestnuts, castañas, along with small almond cakes. The chestnut tradition comes from the legend of Maria, a chestnut seller, La Castañada, about whom there are many stories. The almond cakes are reminders of the days when homemade cakes and offerings were left with the bodies of the dead. You will also see in the shops huesos de santo - the saint’s bones – which have marzipan, eggs and sugar syrup, and

White Knight Cutting Edge Designs

Visit White Knight at the IFA Lifestyle, Homes and Gardens Exhibition this weekend Stand 186-190 White Knight offers a whole range of windows, doors, conservatories & Cavity Wall foam Insulation. And stunning, seamless buñuelos de viento – puffs of wind – which glass curtains for the home or business, are doughnuts liberally sprinkled with cinna- White Knight offer the most competitive mon and sugar. In Catalonia it is also quite prices anywhere on the coast, White usual to eat sweet potatoes, el boniato. Knight has recently expanded with its very In the 10th century, All Saints’ Day was own exhibition area, which is situated withcelebrated on May 13 but Popes Gregory III in ‘Magica Gourmet’ located on Calle and IV moved it to its present date to neu- Ramon y Cajal, Benijofar, where clients tralise the pagan festival that was the fore- may view a range of their products. runner of Halloween, which was held at that White Knight are proud to be the time of the year. Corporate Sponsors at the “The The ancient Gaels believed that this time International Lifestyle and Expo Fiesta of year, sometimes thought of as the Celtic 2011”, at the IFA, Alicante on 4, 5, 6 New Year, was when the boundaries November. Entrance to the Expo is free, it between the living and the dead disap- is being staged alongside the Expo Fiesta peared. So the Church linked this with All and Tourism and Culture Exhibitions, Saints’ Day. which attracted over 30 000 visitors during There are times when it is easy to forget how Catholic Spain can be, but All Saints’ Day is a powerful reminder of the importance of religion, and of the family, even in the modern age. It is advisable to avoid the roads on the afternoon and evening of October 31 as millions of people finish work early then head for their birthplace, so traffic congestion can be severe, especially on the motorways leaving the main cities.

2010. White Knight will be taking the opportunity to showcase some of their fabulous new products, including a range of freestanding out-buildings, which can extend the living area. These provide the perfect summerhouse, conservatory or storage facility and can be constructed adjacent to the main building or completely separate. Visitors will be among the first to view the very latest White Knight innovation the Folding Frame Patio Door. The company has been developing this for months, and has now perfected it just in time for the show! It follows a similar concept to the original glass curtain, except the modest, neat framework means that it is tougher, withstanding high pressure so won’t bend in strong winds. Seeing is believing! For further information please give them a call on 966 444 093 or log onto the website www.spanishglasscurtains.com.

Friday, October 28, 2011

Seven million reasons to buy at The Electrical Shop

Hello baby goodbye! The Generalitat regional government of Valencia has given an ultimatum to one of the companies which operate the public bus service in Valencia City to withdraw advertising displayed on the buses for prostitution. The company was given three days from Tuesday to remove the adverts which have been seen on the rear of the

THE Spanish government wants to help you save the environment. And to do this, it is giving you money - as long as you spend it on a new electrical appliance, that is. Plan Renove is a scheme that aims to encourage the removal of old appliances from homes so they can be replaced with new, more energy efficient models. This means discounts of up to 25% on fridge freezers, washing machines, dishwashers, ovens and induction hobs. The Spanish are already rushing to take advantage of the scheme, and once the money is gone there will be no more discounts. So, don’t delay. At the beginning of October the Valencia region had more than seven million euros to spend on the scheme, but it is running out fast. British ex-pats are entitled to the savings, but many don’t know how to cash in on this

money and environment-saving deal. Luckily, The Electrical Shop in Blue Lagoon can help.. Its expert sales team knows all there is to know about the scheme and they will make sure you get your share of the discount pot. So, if you are resident in the Valencia region, make sure you get your new, discounted appliances by visiting The Electrical Shop in Blue Lagoon as soon as you can. The store is open Monday –Saturday 10am until 6pm and you will need your residencia certificate, NIE and a passport. Oh, and don’t forget your wallet. It’s cheap but it’s not free. The shop also offers deliveries and will take away all old appliances and arrange for their disposal at legitimate Eco Parks. So, what are you waiting for? Get down to The Electrical Shop now! Or call Debbie on 96 618 8169 or 96 618 8170. You can also email them at electricalteam@hotmail.com

vehicles for erotic nightclubs and contacts. EFE indicates that they have been displayed on the buses since April. It’s understood that the company concerned has said that it was not aware of the situation as its advertising space is sold by an advertising agency. It has however said that the adverts will be removed.

WHEN CARPETS CAN BE PURE HEAVEN… Well, the temperatures are definitely dropping quickly day by day now, quite a shock to the system after a gorgeous long summer. During the summer months the coolness of our ceramic tiles is an absolute godsend, But don’t you find them the complete opposite when the weather changes and they turn cold and quite unwelcoming? Covering your tiles in the winter months not only makes your home nice and cosy. It can also insulate it against the cold. At Carpet Heaven, we can offer you several options for your lounge, bedrooms, bathroom and kitchen alike. We can supply you with traditionally fitted carpet, or edged carpet to your exact requirements. The benefits of the edged option means you can cover a large areas and simply remove it during the summer months, if you so wish. We also have a great selection of Quality traditional rugs and luxurious deeppile modern rugs in all the up-to-date fashionable colours and designs. In addition, we can supply you with cushioned vinyl flooring and carpet tiles. And it’s not just rugs and carpets at Carpet Heaven. We also supply and fit vertical and roller blinds as well as a great range of luxury top-end breakfast and bar stools. Carpet Heaven has been

operating for two years now and continues to grow in both sales and new ranges. We will continue to source top-quality goods from the best manufacturers across Europe. To celebrate our second anniversary, there will be a sale between November 2 and 12 where we will give a 10% discount off all stock

and orders. In addition to this you will have the chance to win an extra 10% off your purchase in our Paul Cunningham Nurses Lucky Dip. For €1, simply choose an envelope and you could double your discount to 20%. All proceeds from the Lucky Dip will be donated in full to Paul Cunningham Nurses.

Friday, October 28, 2011

The debatable case of Britain and the EU IT’S hard to believe, but 40 years ago, the UK Conservative Party was an LE CHAMP: Nicolas extremely pro-European outfit. Sarkozy punching Their leader, Edward Heath, led the UK above his weight merrily into what was called the Common Market, whilst the opposition Labour Party was tearing itself to shreds over it. Whisper the words European Union in Tory circles these days, and they start kicking and screaming like celebrity judges on a TV talent show, whilst the Labour opposition is pretty much pro-EU, and the Lib Dems have an umbilical cord connected to joining the Euro at the first opportunity! In a lovely piece of democracy, the coalition government gave the voters the chance to sign internet petitions asking for the Commons to debate major issues. But democracy carries a risk of embarrassment, and so, like a wicked “Jack in the Box” for David Cameron, out popped the question of Britain’s membership of the EU, and whether or not there should be an “In or Out” Referendum. On a free vote, it was easy to work out that close to 100 Tory MP’s would have Referendum. liked a Referendum, along with a handful from the Labour The Prime Minister later said he had “no bad blood benches who would have supported the idea - with some towards the rebels”, but it was he who threw petrol on the fire 500 voting against. in the first place by his stupid miscalculation over a debate The best way forward for the Government would have that would not have committed anybody to anything. been to have had the debate, taken note of the result, and It’s the rebels who now have the bad blood coursing then forgotten all about it. through their veins in their battle against a Prime Minister But no, Cameron mishandled it badly by ordering all his who they feel “isn’t really one of us”. MPs to vote against it, in what is gloriously called a “threeI wrote a few weeks ago that Cameron has plenty of eneline whip”. This was led by his thuggish-looking Chief mies ready to knife him, and he’s foolishly given them a giltWhipper, ex-miner Patrick McLoughlin, brandishing his edged opportunity to cause further trouble. knuckle-dusters at anybody who was not going to tow the Cameron certainly won’t be able to bury those problems government line. away as easily as the way Muammar Gaddafi and one of his So what happened on Monday? Annoyed by the strong- cretinous sons were disposed of last Thursday morning in arm tactics from their leader, 81 Tories - most of them from Libya. the right of the party - stuck two fingers up by voting for the I wonder if Tony Blair was disappointed not to get a special

invitation to see his old mate have a ton of sand dumped upon him? Let’s not beat about the bush. Most of us cheered when Gaddafi got a taste of his own nasty medicine, when the coward was dragged kicking and screaming from the stench of a sewer pipe in Sirte. He deserved what came to him, and though undignified, it was just a carbon copy of the way he treated countless others for more than 40 years. A long and costly show-trial would have diverted Libya from its efforts of rebuilding and reunifying, and the country can now move on. Meanwhile, politicians like Cameron and Nicolas Sarkozy could quietly bask for a day or two in a foreign-policy triumph of the highest order, that many people doubted would have such a positive ending. It’s a shame, then, that their lovely UK/French relationship appears to now have the taste of flat champagne. Sarkozy accused his pal Dave of sticking his nose into Eurozone business that doesn’t concern him, since the UK isn’t (thank heavens!) a member of the Euro. It’s funny how little Frenchmen such as Sarkozy or Napoleon like to start punching beyond their size, especially with a Presidential election around the corner. But what happens in the Eurozone is of course the UK’s business. If the Euro hits the deck, then non-Euro countries will be equally affected, and that hardly takes a genius to work that out! Perhaps the French President would be better off trying to learn how to change the nappies of his newly-born daughter, rather than having a Gallic fit of temper against one of the few friends he has left in Europe. Or shall we just kindly put it down to some frustrating nights for him and Carla Bruni caused by the baby’s cries distracting them from other bedroom activities?

Spain puts clamp on GÜRTEL SUITS CASE lesbian love scenes JURY UNDER WAY

The Spain distributor of “Without Men” has cut all lesbian scenes off the film, including love scenes between Eva Longoria and Kate del Castillo. “Without Men” tells the story of a journalist (Christian Slater) who stumbles upon a Latin American village ruled by women while investigating a story. Every single man in the aforementioned village has been recruited by a local guerrilla group, and so the women led by Eva Longoria begin taking on the roles of men, with comedic and –of course- lesbian-erotic results. The film was due to be featured at the Gay and Lesbian Film Festival of Barcelona, but since the censorship announcement has been remove from the line-up. Spokespeople for Tayrona Entertainment, the film’s distribution company in Spain, said

that the film was merely “re-edited” for a mainstream audience, but Xavier Daniel, the director of the Barcelona International Gay and Lesbian Film Festival, told AFP “We are very angry that a distributor can modify the content of a film in this manner, the audience will not understand the plot of the film if all the lesbian scenes are cut out. It is unbelievable things like this happen in the year 2011.”

THE jury which will hear the suits part of the Gürtel corruption case in Valencia, where the main accused is the PP exPresident of the Valencia Government, Francisco Camps, will be finally selected from a group of 20 men and 16 women who have been chosen by using a toy lottery draw today. They will form part of the proceedings which get underway in court on December 12. Along with Camps, the ex-Secretary General of the PP in Valencia, Ricardo Costa, also faces charges of continued passive bribery for the acceptance of gifts, including suits, from companies which were given public works contracts. The identity of this initial group of candidates for the jury is not made public, and each will receive a questionnaire where they can claim any incapacity, incompatibility or prohibition which may affect them. From the group at total of 11 people will be selected, an initial nine for the jury, and two substitutes.

Friday, October 28, 2011

THIS WEEK IN

SOUR ORANGE Two weeks in US leaves Robin

A BRITISH holidaymaker has been slapped with a £4,000 bill for internet roaming charges after returning from a trip to America. Robin Baynes, 30, was charged £4,180.83 despite buying a £6 internet bundle deal prior to his two-week trip to the States. He said Orange had assured him the bundle would cover roaming charges and enable him to access the internet while abroad. But when he returned home after the trip he found the company had billed him 80 times his usual £50 monthly tariff. Robin, from Chester-Le Street,

Fancy VAT! Taxman’s £500 fine for Cable

with £4,180 mobile phone bill Daily Mail

County Durham, thought the £6 fee would cover his charges for the duration of his trip. He said: 'I was sold this £6 deal under the impression that I wouldn't be charged extortionate prices for using my phone abroad. 'I specifically phoned Orange and told them I wanted to use the internet abroad and they told me that this "bundle" deal, as they call it, would be my best bet. 'When I saw the bill for more than four grand, I was gobsmacked. I am THE cost of a cuppa is set to soar next year so angry.' because of a tea shortage. A drought in East After listening to the Africa has ruined crops and threatens to recording of his call to the slash production by more than 128,000 tons. company, Orange has Kenyan tea, one of the most popular in now admitted that he was British blends, has been particularly badly falsely sold the deal. affected. Its price has already risen by 6% The telecoms giant oriand experts warn that worse is to come. ginally offered him £100 Tea has managed to weather fluctuating towards the bill as a global commodity prices. While coffee prices goodwill gesture. have rocketed by 68% in two years and After he refused to pay cocoa powder by 76%, tea has been stable. the reduced balance of But demand for tea is growing worldwide £2,980.83 Orange finally and set to increase further. Rising land and conceded that he must fertiliser prices are also pushing up produc- pay £500, which he reluction costs. tantly accepted. Britons drink an estimated 165 million He said: 'I have no cups of tea a day. other choice really.’

Robin Baynes: ‘When I saw the bill, I was gobsmacked’

Get ready to pay more for a cuppa Daily Express

Taliban’s 200-man Xmas war THE Taliban is planning a campaign of Christmas carnage in British cities, a warlord warned on Tuesday. Commander Javed Karmazkhel Wazir — of Tehrik-e-Taliban Pakistan — claimed 200 suicide bombers and assassins are ready to launch attacks. He said: "We have prepared squads of holy warriors who will target people and government facilities in London and other big cities of the UK." And he said their recruits looked

"liberal", adding: "You will not see bearded men or veiled women doing this." The TTP are furious at US President Barack Obama's recent success in overseeing the death of Osama Bin Laden. And the TTP now has a hit-list of its own — believed to include Obama himself. The TTP claimed responsibility for a 2009 suicide attack on the CIA and the attempted Times Square bombing in 2010.

BUSINESS Secretary Vince Cable has been fined by the taxman for failing to pay up to £25,000 in VAT. Dr Cable, who has constantly led Government and Lib Dem attacks on tax evasion, was hit with a £500 penalty by Her Majesty's Revenue and Customs. The minister, 68, failed to register huge income from media and book deals as VAT liable and did not pay the duty on it. The Business Secretary has constantly been in the vanguard of attempts to rein in the dodgers. Two years ago, he declared: "The evidence of systematic tax avoidance by rich individuals and UK-based companies strikes a particularly ugly note in these straitened times." He himself became a "rich individual" through media work — only to cop that £500 penalty over unpaid VAT.

Friday, October 28, 2011

THE TABLOIDS

CHE’S MOTORBIKE PARTNER DIES AGED 88

You’ve never had it so bad

UK families worse off than ‘ in living memory’ FAMILIES in the UK are an average of £15 a week worse off than a year ago as spiralling bills and a pay squeeze combine to cut living standards, say researchers. Soaring gas and electricity bills, coupled with high food, insurance and petrol costs are making the nation poorer. The £15 fall equates to an annual drop in spending power of £780 from taxed income, according to the monthly Asda Income Tracker. On Tuesday, the governor of the Bank of England, Sir Mervyn King, while it says meeting said UK workers have ‘must pay’ bills such as been hit by the biggest food, heating and lighting fall in living standards ‘in adds up to £434 a week. living memory’. That leaves only £163 a The £15 drop in weekly week for all other needs, spending power is the which is down by 8.3% on biggest in the four-year a year ago. history of the study, while In evidence to the the current cost-of-living Treasury Select Commitsqueeze is said to be the tee, Sir Mervyn warned of longest and deepest for at a ‘very large squeeze on least 60 years. household incomes’ and The research puts ave- admitted the current CPI rage weekly household inflation rate of 5.2% was income after tax at £597, ‘very uncomfortable’.

Daily Mail

A worrying time for Sir Mervyn King

Life for thug who slit cop’s throat A BRUTAL knifeman described as one of the most dangerous men in Britain was jailed for life on Tuesday for trying to kill two police officers. John Onyenaychi, 30, cut PC Paul Madden's throat as bystanders watched in horror. He then lashed out with his knife at other officers who tried to restrain him, the Old Bailey heard — before calling out: "Let me finish him off." Incredibly PC Madden's life was saved as one of the first people to walk past the scene was a quick-thinking retired heart surgeon who was out Christmas shopping. Samad Tadjkarimi, 65, also helped Community Support Officer

The Sun Piotr Dolata, who was also stabbed by Onyenaychi (pictured) in Ealing, West London, last December. Mr Tadjkarimi, who had retired three weeks earlier, said: "It's my duty, I guess. I'm sure anyone in my profession would do the same. "It's very humbling that my intervention perhaps contributed to the outcome of possibly saving his life a very brave young officer." PC Madden, 23, was taken to hospital by helicopter and received emergency surgery for injuries to his neck, throat and face. He was left with permanent scarring. PCSO Dolata, 27, needed 12 stitches to his head.

Amy ‘five times the drink limit’ The Sun

AMY Winehouse died of alcohol poisoning after being more than FIVE TIMES the legal driving limit, an inquest has found. A coroner in London heard she hit the bottle after being dry for three weeks. Amy's doctor also revealed the 27year-old said she did not know if she was going to stop drinking but "she did not want to die" the night before she tragically passed away. Police discovered two large and a small bottle of vodka after the star's body was found at her £2.3million

home. Recording a verdict of misadventure, St Pancras Coroner Suzanne Greenway said the singer had 416mg of alcohol per 100ml of blood. The driving limit is 80mg. Ms Greenway said: "She had consumed sufficient alcohol at 416mg per decilitre (of blood) and the unintended consequence of such potentially fatal levels was her sudden and unexpected death." A post-mortem had found that Amy's vital organs were healthy and showed no traces of illegal drugs.

Friday, October 28, 2011

Making cakes from veg THE VEG TO GO FOR NATURALLY sweet, carrots, beetroot, parsnips and courgettes add flavour and texture to cakes, and help keep them fresh and moist. Carrot is a classic addition to lightly spiced cakes, and parsnip is more unusual but works well with

spices such as ginger and cinnamon, and juicy dried fruits. Courgette makes the best moist, light muffins, and beetroot and chocolate are great partners. The beetroot gives the cake a fantastic fudgelike texture, making it great served warm with ice cream. Also, try pumpkin or squash with mixed spices.

COURGETTE MUFFINS If you think carrot cake sounds a bit strange, why not confound your friends with these courgette muffins. We implore you not to knock these moreish munchies until you've tried them.

Ingredients 250g courgettes, grated 100g sultanas 4 tbsp orange juice 2 tbsp honey 3 large free-range eggs 175ml sunflower oil 200g light muscovado sugar 225g self-raising flour ½ tsp baking powder ½ tsp bicarbonate of soda 60g almonds, toasted and chopped Grated zest of 2 limes

For the icing 300g half-fat cream cheese 50g icing sugar

4. Line a 12-hole large muffin tin with muffin cases (or, to make 1 big cake, grease and line a 23cm round, loose-bottomed cake tin). 2. Roughly grate the courgettes and squeeze by hand to drain excess moisture. Pat dry with kitchen paper. 3. Put the sultanas in a saucepan with the orange juice and honey. Bring to a boil and simmer for 4 minutes until the raisins are plump and the liquid is absorbed, being careful not to let it burn. 4. Put the eggs, sunflower oil and sugar in a large bowl and whisk with an electric whisk for about 3 minutes, until creamy. Sift over flour, baking powder and bicarbonate of soda. Fold in with the almonds, the grated

courgettes, the sultanas, and the grated zest of 2 limes. 5. Spoon into the muffin cases or tin and bake the muffins for 25-30 minutes or the cake for 45-50 minutes or until a skewer inserted into the centre comes out clean. 6. Leave the muffins or cake to cool in the tin, then transfer to a wire rack to cool completely. Beat the half-fat cream cheese with icing sugar and the juice of 2 limes until smooth and creamy, adding more icing sugar to taste, if needed. 7. Spread the icing over the muffins or the cake. Sprinkle with more almonds, toasted and finely chopped, and extra grated lime zest.

CARROT CAKE Carrot cake is a moist, moreish and incredibly popular recipe. Who would have thought that one of your favourite desserts would be made from common garden vegetables!

Ingredients The juice of 2 limes Almonds, toasted and finely chopped, and extra grated lime zest, to decorate

Method 1. Preheat the oven to 180°C/fan160°C/gas

Butter, for greasing 100g raisins 4 tbsp sweet sherry or orange juice 3 large free-range eggs 175ml sunflower oil 200g light muscovado sugar 2 tsp ground cinnamon 225g self-raising flour ½ tsp baking powder ½ tsp bicarbonate of soda 50g desiccated coconut 60g walnut pieces, plus extra for the topping 200g carrot, roughly grated

For the icing 300g low-fat cream cheese 50g icing sugar 1 tsp vanilla extract

Method 1. Preheat the oven to 180°C/fan160°C/gas 4. Grease a 22cm round, loose-bottomed cake tin with a little butter. Line the base of the tin with a circle of baking paper. 2. Place the raisins in a pan with the sherry or orange juice and bring to the boil. Simmer gently for 2 minutes until the raisins have absorbed all of the liquid. Set aside. 3. Put the eggs, sunflower oil and sugar in a large bowl and whisk with an electric whisk for about 3 minutes, until the mixture becomes creamy. 4. Sift the cinnamon, flour, baking powder and bicarbonate of soda over the mixture, and fold it in with the coconut, walnuts, carrot and raisins. Spoon into the tin and bake for 45 minutes or until a skewer pushed into the cake’s centre comes out clean. Leave to cool in the tin, then transfer to a cooling rack to cool completely. 5. For the icing, beat the cream cheese with the icing sugar and vanilla until smooth and creamy, adding more icing sugar to taste, if needed. Spread over the top and sides of the cake and sprinkle with extra walnuts.

Friday, October 28, 2011

CHOCOLATE BEETROOT CAKE Carrot cake... courgette muffins... and now we come up with chocolate beetroot cake. Crazy as it sounds these ingredients work beautifully together – we dare you to try it.

Ingredients 250g plain chocolate, broken up 3 large free-range eggs 200g light muscovado sugar 100ml sunflower oil 1 tsp vanilla extract 100g self-raising flour ½ tsp bicarbonate of soda ½ tsp baking powder 50g ground almonds 250g raw beetroot

For the icing 150g plain chocolate 100g icing sugar 100g soured cream

Method 1. Preheat the oven to 180°C/fan160°C/gas 4. Grease a 22cm round, loose-bottomed cake tin with a

little butter and line the base with baking paper. 2. Place the plain chocolate in a bowl and set over a pan of gently simmering water. Allow the chocolate to melt slowly until smooth, then set aside to cool. 3. Place the eggs, sugar and sunflower oil in a large mixing bowl and whisk together, using an electric hand whisk,

for about 3 minutes until the mixture is smooth and creamy. Stir in vanilla extract, then sift over self-raising flour, bicarbonate of soda, baking powder and gently fold in, together with the ground almonds. 4. Using a pair of rubber gloves to protect your fingers from staining, peel and grate the beetroot, then squeeze out the excess liquid. Fold the beetroot into the mixture with the cooled chocolate, until thoroughly mixed. 5. Pour the mixture into the prepared tin and bake for 50 minutes-1 hour. Cover with foil if the cake browns too quickly. Test the cake by inserting a skewer into the centre to see if it comes out clean. Cool for a little while, then remove from the tin and leave to cool completely on a wire rack. 6. For the icing, place 150g plain chocolate in a bowl set over a pan of gently simmering water. Allow to melt gently until smooth. Set aside to cool, then beat in icing sugar and soured cream until you have a thick, creamy and spreadable icing. Spread it over the top and sides of the cooled cake and serve.

PUMPKIN AND CRANBERRY MUFFINS Pretty as a picture and tasty to boot, these moreish muffins make great eating any time of day

Ingredients 225 g plain flour 100 g wholemeal flour 125 g caster sugar 1½ tsp ground cinnamon 1 tsp baking powder 1 tsp bicarbonate of soda ¾ tsp mixed spice ½ tsp salt 125 g butter, melted, plus extra for greasing 700 g cooked pumpkin,

puréed 2 eggs 300 g cranberries, halved

Method 1. Preheat the oven to 180C/gas 4 and lightly butter two 12-hole muffin trays, or line them them with paper cups. 2. In a large bowl, combine the flours, sugar, cinnamon, baking powder, bicarbonate of soda, mixed spice and salt. Stir to combine. 3. Add the melted butter,

pumpkin purée and eggs, stirring well. Fold in the cranberries. Spoon the batter into the prepared muffin trays.

4. Bake for 20 minutes, or until the muffins are risen and golden and a skewer inserted in the centre comes out clean.

Friday, October 28, 2011

A prawn cracker! King Prawn Puri 2 large cloves of garlic, finely chopped 2 tsps of mustard seeds 2 tsps of turmeric 1 tsp garam masala 1 tsp cummin 1 tsp coriander Salt to season A little oil or ghee (clarified butter) for frying Some chopped coriander for garnishing (or use flat leaf parsley if you don't like coriander)

Method Ingredients Makes 6 (10cm puri)

Puri dough: 250g wholemeal flour 60g ghee (clarified butter) Cold water Oil for frying

Spiced Prawns: approx 500g raw king prawns 2 tbsps tomato puree (paste) 1 med onion, finely sliced

1. First prepare the puri dough. Rub the ghee into the flour until it resembles breadcrumbs. Add just enough cold water to make a soft dough (add the water tbsp for tbsp). 2. Wrap in clingfilm and place the dough in the fridge for at least 3 hours (longer would be better). 3. Just before you start preparing the spiced prawns, remove the dough from the fridge, cut into 6 slices and roll out thinly (about 10cm circles). Cover them with a cloth. 4. Fill a medium sized deep frying

Lemony prawn & pea risotto Ingredients

500g bag raw prawns , in their shells, defrosted if frozen 1 tbsp olive oil 1 red chilli , deseeded, half pan with oil (at least 3-4cm deep) and set aside for now (you'll use this for sliced and half finely chopped frying the puri) 1Â˝ l fish stock 5.Heat a little ghee or oil in a medi1 onion , chopped um frying pan. Add the mustard 300g risotto rice (we used seeds to the pan and fry till the seeds arborio) start to pop. 6. Add the onions and garlic to the 1 small glass white wine pan and fry over a medium heat till 200g frozen peas lightly browned. zest and juice 1 lemon 7. Add the rest of the spices along with the tomato puree and prawns Method and fry over a gente heat for a further Peel the prawns, keeping 5 mins, stirring the whole time. Keep the heads and shells. Heat 1 adding a little water to the mixture to tbsp olive oil in a large stop it sticking (it shouldn't be too saucepan and fry the prawn 'saucy', just moist ) shells and heads with the 8. Whilst the prawns are cooking, sliced chilli until they have heat the oil for the puri.It should be toasted and changed colour. very hot but not smoking. Pour in the stock and bring 9. Carefully lay one of the puri into to the boil, then turn down to the hot oil and fry for about 20-30 a simmer. seconds on each side (they should Bring the stock to the boil puff up). and keep on a low simmer. 10. Allow the oil to drain off each In a separate pan, melt half puri before laying on some kitchen the butter over a medium paper. Repeat with the rest of the heat. Stir in the onions and puri. sweat gently for 8-10 mins 11. Serve each puri topped with a until soft but not coloured, little of the prawn mixture and sprin- stirring occasionally. Stir the kled with chopped coriander or pars- rice into the onions until ley if you prefer. completely coated in the but-

ter, then stir continuously until the rice is shiny and the edges of the grain start to look transparent. Add the stock, a ladleful at a time, stirring with each addition until absorbed. Stir through the prawns and peas. Continue adding stock a ladleful at a time and stirring the rice over a low heat for 25-30 mins, until the rice is cooked al dente (with a slightly firm, starchy bite in the middle). The risotto should be creamy and slightly soupy. When you draw a wooden spoon through it, there should be a wake that holds for a few moments but not longer. Cook until the prawns change colour. Stir through the chopped chilli, lemon juice and remaining olive oil. Let the risotto rest for a few mins, then serve, topped with the lemon zest.

Friday, October 28, 2011

Help our little boy to walk! The family of a disabled child in Callosa de Segura have launched a campaign to raise money for a new treatment that could offer their son’s only chance of ever walking. Nine-year-old David Arranz has cerebral palsy caused by an accident at birth, which has left him confined to a wheelchair and unable to stand without support. It is hoped the experimental treatment, based on growth hormone, could regenerate the damaged part of David’s brain. But the treatment costs the sort of money that David’s parents do not have. In a bid to help their son receive the life-changing treatment, David’s family have launched a charity, Esperanza Para David (Hope for David). Fundraising efforts kick off this Saturday with a performance of the play Tic, Tac, Tic by Faula Theatre at the Callosa Queen Sofia Cultural Centre. Although David has been restricted his whole life, he is a bright and happy child and never loses hope. His biggest dream is one day to play football. Since birth, he has followed a strict regime of daily therapies, which his parents say have undoubtedly improved his condition; but are not a cure. Two years ago, David’s family learnt of the experimental treatment being carried out at a private medical centre in A Coruña. The treatment combines growth hor-

mone with other therapies. Believing this offered David the only real hope of improvement, the couple put their son forward for treatment. After a two-year wait, David has finally been accepted onto the programme. But the family cannot afford to pay for it. David’s mother, Maria Jose Ruiz, said: “I want to give my son a quality of life because by law (of nature) I will go from this world before him and I will do anything in my power to help him avoid having to be dependent all his life.” The treatment has not yet been approved by the pub-

lic health system and so can only be obtained privately. It will cost 3,000 euros a month, plus the cost for the family to rent a home in the Galician city. The first phase of the treatment will take at least four months. If David progresses well and it is thought he should continue, more money will be needed. “Other patients have required 72,000 euros for a twoyear treatment,” says Maria. David’s parents are convinced the therapies and growth hormone treatment offered by the clinic in A Coruña will make David “a different child”, and they are desperate to raise the funds to give him a chance. Maria added: “Throughout life our main concern has been to gather money for him. I think it is the best investment we can make. ‘’We asked for help because we are a family that has always saved, but we cannot give more. We have nothing left.’’ In order to help this young football fan achieve his goal, David’s family are collecting items donated by celebrities from the worlds of sport, television and art to be sold in an internet auction. A number of charity events are planned, plus people can make donations. A website has been set up at www.esperanzaparadavid.com and there’s a Facebook group of the same name. David’s parents can be contacted at carreras72@hotmail.es or on 654 053 666.

They first came to Spain as young idealists. Now in their 90s, the heroes return

THE BRIGADE OF MEMORIES THEY were still teenagers when they left their countries and families to come and gamble their lives in Spain in defence of a government that was not theirs but whose ideals they shared - the Republic. They came to number 35,000 - among them writers such as George Orwell and politicians including Willy Brandt (pictured below) – and arrived from 55 countries. Around 9,000 of them died or were taken prisoner. Today, few remain alive, but four have come to Spain to participate in the tribute organised by the Friends' Association of the International Brigades to mark the 75th anniversary of their creation by decree of thenRepublican Prime Minister Francisco Largo Caballero. "I was 17 and I thought I had to do something," says Briton David Lomon, who is a month away from celebrating his 93rd birthday. "I didn't want to just stand there while I saw fascism winning in Spain. The day I turned 18, I went. ‘’I didn't say anything to my mother because she would never have let me go, and I felt a lot of remorse for what she suffered, but afterwards she said she was very proud and I turned into her favourite. And I had eight brothers and sisters." Lomon arrived thinking they would win. "We were the good guys," he says with a smile. It didn't take him long to realise it wasn't going to be so easy. "When I arrived in Spain I wasn't aware of the magnitude of the support that the Italians and Germans were giving Franco. I wasn't expecting that. Neither was I expecting that we would be so

alone. Nobody was supporting the Republicans, only volunteers." But it was during the brief training he did before heading to the front that Lomon really realised how weak his side was. "It was terrible. For weapons we had the leftovers from the Russians in the First World War. They kept jamming. They were very delicate. Neither the heat nor the cold suited them." The best part of his stay in Spain was meeting the Republicans, he says. "It was fascinating for me to see people so poor and at the same time so proud." He had a Spanish girlfriend during the war, but it didn't last very long. "I remember one day I invited her to the cinema, and she turned up there with her whole family!" he says, roaring with laughter. Lomon didn't end up participating in big battles - "just skirmishes" - but he did come close to death. A bomb knocked him unconscious for he doesn't know how long. When he woke up he was in a prisoner camp. "The Italians had captured me. We were almost all foreigners. In fact, while I was there the Gestapo came to see what Germans were supporting the Spanish. It was a horrific thing. When they put you in a place like that it is as if they had removed you from the world. I was freed in a prisoner exchange for some Italian." During the interview, Lomon proudly shows the Spanish passport he obtained thanks to the Law of Historical Memory, which awarded Spanish nationality to International Brigade members. Losing the war in Spain was "a very tough blow," but he says it served to inspire him to join the army upon his return to the UK, "to later fight against Hitler. That war we did win." Estonian Erik Ellmann, 92, looked uncomfortable with the applause he received at the tribute. "I don't deserve it," he says. "I was a

Tanks for the memory: The idealists return kid. I was 19 and I only took part in the end of the war. I did the best I could with the weapon they gave me - one from 1896." From a poor family, Ellmann remembers that his country's government "made a law that punished those who helped the Spanish with 10 years of forced labour." He decided to risk it. "My ideals and those of my parents were the same as those of the Republic." He was in the Battle of the Ebro and holds on to an enormous regret. "We were a scouting party and we had to warn if we saw the Francoists advance. We went to rest and they advanced. We don't know what happened to those coming behind us." Brothers José Eduardo and Vicente Almudéver Mateu, 92 and 94 respectively, born in France of Spanish parents, also haven't forgotten. "We went to the front without bullets!" says José. "Five kilometres away there was a PCE [Spanish Communist Party] column and they gave me five. Later the colonel gave us another five. Ten bullets for a war!" On May 25 1938 he was wounded in combat. "Upon my release they sent me home, but I came back. I ended up at the port in Alicante. It was terrible what happened there." In that port in April 1939, 20,000 Republicans, the war already lost, awaited

the arrival of some foreign boats in which they were to flee Franco. They never arrived. When, upon the entry of Italian troops, it became clear there was no way out, many opted for suicide. "I remember a pregnant woman, lain on the floor, and a man who was shaving with a knife beside her. I heard a terrible cry. When I looked back, the man had slit his throat and the woman had seen it all," says José, who ended up in Los Almendros concentration camp after having thrown his Brigade membership card into the sea. Vicente was at the front in Guadalajara and at the Battle of the Jarama. He was also in Madrid. "Despite having lost, what I am most proud of in my life is having fought for the Republic in the Civil War," he says. Like his comrades, he later fought in World War II. José Carrillo, son of ex-PCE leader Santiago Carrillo, and current rector of Madrid Complutense University, where a monument to the Brigades has just been put up, says, "I don't recall an example of international solidarity to compare with the participation of 35,000 brigade members who came to Spain to defend the legality of the Republic, and that of Spaniards themselves, who tried to return the favour in World War II by joining the resistance against the Nazis.."

Friday, October 28, 2011

RICHARD CAVENDER

Bluemoon Solutions www.bluemoonsolutions.es

BlueMoon Solutions is the computer and IT services company on the Costa Blanca, they provide quality computer services at realistic prices and specialise in working with home users and small businesses.

Richard moved to Spain four years ago having left his management background behind in the UK and decided to use his IT skills to help home users and small businesses with their PC problems. Now a relaxed 'computer man' he is out and about in the Spanish sun every day, making house and shop calls and using his vast experience and qualifications to (usually) sort out the problem there and then. Computers are his hobby as well as his work so don’t be surprised to get an answer to your email in the early hours!

ADVICE: Rose was having problems with attaching photos Sandra was having problems printing in Microsoft Word to her Yahoo email 2003 Hello Richard I read your sec-

tion most weeks and you seem like a friendly and understanding guy a - WELL you will need to be with a novice like me. I am 60 yrs. and only just had a computer Lenovo is make and i have windows 7. I have until now been able to send attachments e. g. photos but all of a sudden the attach for photo comes up and the little circle which keeps spinning until photo is downloaded just keeps spinning will not download. Am I not doing it correctly what i do is 1 compose message, 2 write message, 3 click on attach, 4 click on photos to open up then choose photo and click on photo to download this is all ok but it will not download. One other thing because I am a thicko when different boxes appear on the screen saying do you want to download this or that etc. how would I know whether to or not. Sorry to cause you a difficult day. Thanks Rose Hi Rose, thanks for the email, it sounds like you are doing everything correctly. Perhaps the photographs that you are uploading are particularly large and therefore they are taking a long time to upload to yahoo? One thing that you can try (if you are using Internet Explorer) is to reset it, this does tend to fix many problems experienced with the browser, and you can do this by following these instructions…

1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

Click Start, Control Panel Double Click Internet Options Click the Advanced Tab Click the Reset button Click Reset again

…this can fix a multitude of Internet Explorer problems. With regards to your question about whether you should or shouldn’t accept downloads there is no hard and fast answer, certainly its usual to update Java when it asks and of course your Antivirus, however most of them will simply automatically update. I guess the rule of thumb is that if you are not sure then don’t do it until you have spoken to someone who can advise you.

Don’t forget you can follow me on twitter @bluemoonspain Alternatively why don’t you sign up for my newsletter. You can do this by going to:www.bluemoonsolutions.es and fill in the form that is on any page except the front page.

Could you help me with a problem on Word, Office 2003? I am making a certificate for my Granddaughter and have put on it a page border of balloons. This was done via “borders and shading " then "page border". (See attached document). No matter how I change the margins the left hand side of doc only has half the border. This is a landscape composition but if I use portrait then same effect is at the bottom of the page. The print message shows "page boarders of selection are set outside printable area of page. Also the background effect is not printing either. (I must try harder!!) You have helped me in the past with changing my Mov videos to AVI to play on the television. Many thanks for your help. Sandra Hi Sandra, apologies for the delay in replying you should still be able to print it even with that message, just accept the message and the document should print fine, certainly I have printed the copy that you emailed to me and it prints fine here.

A 1. 2. 3. 4.

With regards to the background, Microsoft Word doesn’t print backgrounds or watermarks by default, in order to enable printing of these you should do the following... Click Tools Click options Click the Print tab Tick the "Background colours and images" tick box and click OK

Update: Thank you Richard... Another problem averted by yourself !!!!

ADVICE: Bob wanted to know what had happened to the FTSE 100 gadget in Windows 7 Hi Richard, since upgrading from Windows Vista to Windows 7 I seem to have lost the desktop gadget for the FTSE 100 index any idea where it has gone and how I get it back please? Bob

Hi Bob, I have been looking on and off for this gadget for days for you - from the research I have done it seems like it was produced by MSN Money but has now been dropped by Microsoft so it’s no longer available. A good alternative that I could find for you is to install the Google desktop and use the gadget available at …

http://www.softpedia.com/get/Windows-Widgets/Widget-Finances-Business/Stocksgadget.shtml …this, of course, is not a Windows 7 gadget, but works in pretty much the same way.

office@bluemoonsolutions.es www.bluemoonsolutions.es Mobile: 655 044 970

Office: 902 906 200

Friday, October 28, 2011

Ricky’s back with a triple date IN between TV appearances, sellout shows and a publishing deal for his life story being agreed in the UK, Ricky Valance has somehow found time to return to the Costa Blanca. Ricky, who shot to fame in 1960 and has had hits all over the world, will be appearing in three great shows in November.

Ad once again he will be supported by popular local act, Jukebox Legends. The mini tour, promoted by Jukebox Promotions, takes in a fabulous new mountain venue to meet demand from Ricky’s fans living away from the coast. On November 11, he will play Monte Alto in Hondon de las Nieves

(Tel: 610 993 084); on November 14, he will play La Marina Sports Complex (966 796 389) and on November 16 it will be the turn of The Lounge Bar, Torrevieja. Tickets cost between €8 and €10 and are available from the venues or by calling 695 135 134. Funds will be raised on the tour for Help at Home Costa Blanca.

HAVING A BALL

THREE-YEAR-OLD Joshua Kinch loves his football. And he enjoys his sessions at Tony’s Soccer School so much that his parents Dan and Jo have started a fund-raising campaign. The owners, workers and staff at Amigos Bar in San Pedro have dug deep to show their support for

Joshua, 3, just loves school (...soccer school, that is !) local youth soccer here in Spain. They have raised over €250 through various auctions, book rentals and donations to support Tony's Soccer School.

And Tony, along with coaches Scott, Martin, Tim, Gary, Alan and John, was on hand to receive all the brand-new equipment the donation bought. Meanwhile Joshua has

Biblioteca NOT closing THE Los Narejos CISSMU building in Los Alcázares, known as the Biblioteca building, is NOT closing, despite the wide spread rumours through the town. Only the bistro is closed and Courier reader Cynthia Drake says it makes the place look deserted but it is not. Ms Drake says the new social services councillor has assured her that the building will be remaining open both mornings and afternoons. ‘‘This includes all activities that take place in the classrooms, such as the computer classes, language exchange, and yoga,’’ she says. ‘’The library room will also remain open. The bistro has shut entirely for the time being and activities that were there have relocated’’.

DARTS RESULTS MONDAY NIGHT FAIRPLAY DARTS LEAGUE: Div 2, Week 5 -Pablo´s 8 - 1 Welcome Inn, Belushi 6 - 4 Horacio B, Horacio A 3 - 7 Pablo´s Diablo´s, Concierto 6 - 4 Liberty´s . High scores: 140 Chris McCutcheon (Horacio A), 140 John Nicholl (Pablo´s Diablo´s), 125 Dave Holtom (Belushi), 120 Ron Kerry (Belushi) League Standings: 40 Pablo´s Diablo´s, 34 Liberty´s, 34 Belushi, 31 Pablo´s 28 Concierto, 25 Horacio A, 24 Horacio B, 14 Welcome Inn Well done to Nikkisixx Lloyd (Pablo´s Diablo´s) 10 dart finish and Barry Reynolds (Belushi) 12 dart finish.

THE fabulous Variety Show Group will be performing at The Black Dog in Torrevieja on Sunday – and you can see the show for free. Food will be served throughout the evening,

Green light for a day of Emerald shopping

every Sunday at 10am in Mil Palmeras. They can now enjoy brand-new footballs, goals, kit, cones and lots of equipment. One excited five-year-old been playing at the club for wanted to know if Father six months now, and Christmas had come to the impressed the organisers club! as he hopefully progresses To join Tony's Soccer into a future Lionel Messi. School, visit www.tonysThe three-year-old mini soccer-school.net or call HELP At Home Costa Blanca (HAH) are raising vital funds kickers race into action Tony on 678955501. at their charity store at the Emerald Isle in La Florida, Orihuela Costa. It’s open Monday to Friday, from 11am to 4pm, and is full of great bargains for all ages and sizes. The charity offers support, both medical and practical, such as shopping and gardening, for people who find themselves unable to cope for any reason. HAH want to thank Paul, his staff and everyone at the Emerald Isle for helping to raise more than €2,000 this summer during their Showaddywaddy and Abba Elite shows. There are continuing shows and an open and the venue’s generous Nervion, just behind box raffle at the Emerald Isle owners, Kevin and Lucy, Pinocchio Restaurant on on Saturdays. are donating all proceeds Avenida Paris. If you want to join the from the sale of food to Get yourself to the bar cause, either as a volunteer the Paul Cunningham for 7.30pm for a fun helping people, or fundraisNurses. evening and the chance to ing, contact Sheila on 603 The Black Dog (El Perro support a very worthwhile 245 020 or email info@helNegro) is situated on Calle cause. pathomecb.org

Friday, October 28, 2011

Rojales nets a new sport ROJALES now has its own netball team, after a decision was taken to include the sport in the town’s sports programme. The team (pictured right) trains on a Tuesday from 7pm– 8.30pm at the Polideportivo Municipal Ciudad Quesada, and will play competitively throughout the season against other teams in Spain and visiting teams from the UK. Rojales players recently competed in a tournament in Javea, where they played against opposition from Valencia and Javea and four teams from across the UK. It was a tough competition for the new team as they had not been able to train together as a complete unit before the tournament. However, they did manage to beat the Spanish teams and to give the UK visitors a good game -even though they lost. The team is urgently looking for new players, and urges enthusiasts to come along whether they want to play competitively or just for fun. Anyone wishing to know more can contact either Tracey 679 539 995 or Claire 680 300 637.

The last of the Big Band in Los Alcazares but...

Lots of bargains to be had at the HAH fashion show in Sucina

FASHION CASH-IN HELP at Home’s second Fashion Show at La Vareda Restaurant in Sucina was a success in every way. And the charity is €885 better off as a result. A packed audience saw some fantastic donated clothes modelled by Zigi and her girls before being auctioned off. Also available were Christmas cards, jewellery, cakes, homemade jams, a raffle, lots more clothes and a manicurist, who was kept busy all afternoon. HAH volunteer Heather McElvey thanked the stallholders for their time and donations - including Viv, who donated €50 from the sale of her homemade cakes. HAH Nurse Lynda Christopher, and volunteer Celia Ryan

THE last of the season's very popular Big Band Dance Nights at Hotel Spa Costa Narejos, Los Alcazares was the most successful to date. Enthusiasts came from as far as Javea and north of Torrevieja to listen and dance to Swingtet-Plus Big Band’s own renditions of the music of Duke Ellington, Count Basie and Glenn Miller, as well as a mix of Beatles and Rock N' Roll with Rumbas, There was Salsa and a little Latin as well all with the vocal support of the gifted Mr.

Larry Wright. Proceeds of the raffle were donated to HELP Murcia Mar Menor Cancer Support Group. The organisers would like to thank the Hotel management for donating prizes and also Rosalind's Restaurante and Paul and Charlotte at Shape & Tone. Dates are already confirmed for next year. In the meantime, Big Band Dance Nights start in Torrevieja, at La Rustika, from Friday November 18. For further details call 968 432 630

auctioned the clothes, and went on to thank all concerned for their hard work, especially Zigi, her girls and the HAH volunteers who spent many hours washing and ironing all the clothes. If you would like to become a HAH volunteer carer and give a little time to those struggling to cope, please call Angela on 634 349 040. To join the fundraisers, call Lesley on 968 134 978, or if you need to discuss medical issues, or need help, call Lynda on 633 673 034. Email us at helpathomespain@gmail.com, or for more information, visit our website, www.helpathome.es

Bonfire Night Party set to go off with a bang ...the dance nights are coming to Torrevieja FOLLOWING the blazing success of last year’s Big Bonfire Night at Casa La Pedrera, the team behind the event has decided to light up the night skies once again with a second spectacular November 5 celebration. Casa La Pedrera’s owners, Jenni and Derek, are planning even more sizzling fun this year. There will be country games and activities starting at 4pm, followed by the grand official opening with Los Pistoleros at 5.15. Live acts start at 5.30 and the bonfire will be lit at 6.15. You can bring your own Guy.

Later, the night will explode with fireworks and there will be line, barn and American square dancing. Proceeds of a raffle on the night as well as a donation from ticket sales will go to Paul Cunningham nurses. Tickets will be on sale at the Post Room in Benijofar, North and South in Quesada and Spud Murphy’s in Playa Flamenca. For information on ticket outlets closer to you email sueinthesun@hotmail.co.uk or call 639 318 526. Tickets cost €6 for adults and €3 for children up to the age of 12.

GIL MONKS and his Swingtet-Plus Big Band will present the first of their Big Band Dance Nights in Torrevieja on Friday November 18. Venue is La Rustika in Avda. Los Baleares and hopefully, the action will continue throughout the winter months, and prove as popular and successful as similar events in Los Alcazares. The music -to listen and to dance to - will

be the mix which has proved so popular with everyone. All with Larry Wright’s vocals. It’s an evening of good .entertainment with something for everyone - so bring your dancing shoes! Tickets, price €7, are on sale now at La Rustika, telephone 96- 570 - 3685 or 622 760 340 Raffle proceeds will go to Association HELP Vega Baja. For all other details, call 968 - 432 - 630.

Friday, October 28, 2011

Simple ways to eliminate calories DO you really need that spoonful of sugar in your morning cuppa? Can you even taste the butter among all the other fillings of your sandwich? Is it the end of the world if you have to trim fat from meat before cooking? You can shed hundreds of calories from your daily intake by eliminating certain - minor - items from your

diet. And the best bit? You'll hardly even notice the difference - except when it comes to slipping into a pair of jeans. Here is our list of some of the little things you can easily eradicate from your diet.

Understanding PUD (Peptic Ulcer Disease) PEPTIC ulcer disease represents a serious medical problem. Approximately 500,000 new cases are reported each year. Interestingly, ulcer disease has become a disease predominantly affecting the older population, with the peak incidence occurring between 55 and 65 years of age. Peptic ulcer disease (PUD) refers to painful sores or ulcers in the lining of the oesophagus, the stomach, or the first part of the small intestine called duodenum.

Hold the spread

WHAT CAUSES ULCERS?

We do it out of force of habit more than anything else; but spreading butter or mar

garine on toast or sandwiches racks up the calories faster than you can say 'muffin top'. A tablespoon of butter contains 102 calories and 7g of fat, whereas margarine gives you 60 calories and 1g of fat. It takes 3,500 excess calories to add a pound of weight, and with a large proportion of us eating sandwiches for lunch almost every day, it's not hard to figure out how this can contribute to unnecessary weight gain. Instead of buying sarnies on the high street, make your own at home and leave off the

spread. Alternatively, spread a thin layer or olive oil or rub a garlic clove on one side of bread to add flavour and moisture.

One lump or two? A cup of tea contains a meager two calories - but add milk and sugar and your favourite brew quickly becomes a threat to your waistline. One teaspoon of sugar contains 16 calories, while a tablespoon of semiskimmed milk adds another eight (whole milk, in comparison, contains 18). We Brits like our tea, and drinking five cups a day with one sugar adds 120 extra calories to your daily intake - or 840 a week. Think this still doesn't sound like much - this is the equivalent of 12.5 extra pounds of weight over the course of a year.

Trim the fat Meat is an important part of our diet because it is an excellent source of protein, which helps us to build lean muscle and tone up. However, animal fat is also high in saturated fat, of which women should eat no more than 20g a day. It helps to choose leaner cuts of meat, but you can also trim visible fat from steaks, lamb, bacon and other types of meat before cooking to reduce the overall fat consumption. Nutritionists also recommended removing skin from chicken before you eat it, as this is one of the fattiest parts of the bird.

Skip the bread It's tempting to pile into the customary free bread when eating out, but as well as ruining your appetite, this can add an unnecessary 200-300 stealth calories to your meal before the appetisers have even arrived. Avoid this carb-fest by telling your waiter to keep bread away from your table or requesting a healthier choice like olives or crudités or a simple glass of water to stop your stomach from rumbling.

No single cause has been found for ulcers. However, it is now clear that an ulcer is the end result of an imbalance between digestive fluids in the stomach and duodenum. It has also been confirmed that as many as 70–90% of PUD’s are associated with Helicobacter pylori, a spiral-shaped bacterium that lives in the acidic environment of the stomach. It is acquired early in childhood and colonization can be lifelong. It is also transmitted from person to person through saliva, vomitus, or feces. Although millions of people are colonized with Helicobacter pylori, only a small percentage will develop a peptic ulcer. Another important cause of PUD is the use of painkillers called nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs), such as aspirin, naproxen, ibuprofen, and many others available by prescription.

SYMPTOMS AND DIAGNOSIS The most common symptom of a peptic ulcer is pain or discomfort that is located in the abdomen and may radiate to the back (Dyspepsia). Dyspepsia associated with duodenal ulcer characteristically improves with eating and worsens with fasting and at night. In contrast, the discomfort or pain of gastric (stomach) ulcer often worsens with eating and may be accompanied by poor appetite and weight loss. The diagnosis of peptic ulcer is typically confirmed by endoscopy or a radiologic study. Laboratory testing can reveal anemia and iron deficiency in some cases. Blood tests for Helicobacter pylori can determine if a person has been exposed to the bacteria. However, a positive blood test result may signify evidence of previous exposure to H. pylori and does not prove that H. pylori is the cause of an ulcer.

TREATMENT AND LIFESTYLE CHANGES Treatment of a peptic ulcer is based on the cause. If an ulcer is believed to be caused by Helicobacter pylori infection, the patient is often treated with antibiotics. If NSAIDs are believed to be the culprit, the NSAID should be stopped, and a suitable replacement drug substituted. Several important lifestyle changes can aid in ulcer healing. Both alcohol and smoking hinder ulcer healing and should be stopped. Caffeine can increase production of stomach acid, thereby worsening pain from ulcers and slowing the rate of healing. Therefore, coffee, tea, soda, and chocolate should be avoided. Fatty foods and spicy foods may also increase gastric acid production and should be avoided. Many patients find significant improvement in a diet that emphasizes bland foods or small, frequent meals during the period of ulcer treatment. Dr. Machi Mannu is a neuro repatterning Specialist. Email contact@mindspa.es for any question.

Friday, October 28, 2011

Brothers Grim

TRAPPED WORKERS HORROR FIREMEN have pulled out the body of one of two Spanish workers buried under earth in an accident on a Madrid building site last Tuesday. The other trapped man reportedly remained alive after emergency services had managed to access and stabilise him. The accident occurred at around 5pm as the two brothers were working along with other colleagues on the construction of a house in the San Blas district of the capital. For reasons not yet known - perhaps a landslide or perhaps a fall - the men ended up submerged under earth in a ditch. Around 30 firemen were working carefully to empty the ditch, taking it in turns with shovels and employing a small sand extractor in order to avoid injuring the surviving worker. Domingo MartĂnez, a UGT labour union representative who was present at the rescue scene, believes the men were building the drainage channel for the house in the ditch, which, according to regulations, should have been shored up with wooden boards and props.

BARCELONA PORT WORKERS HELD IN COCAINE BUST TWO workers in Barcelona port were arrested on Wednesday in connection with the trafficking of 625 kilos of cocaine. The drug was hidden in sports bags among sacks of coffee, and arrived on a boat from the Dominican Republic. The arrested pair were those whose job it was to collect the drugs. On September 29 the Guardia Civil and Customs authorities discovered 16 sports bags in a container wrapped in transparent film at the port and the two Spaniards, who have worked at the port for years, were arrested when they went to collect the drugs. Both are now being held in prison on remand.

Sex-charge German faces 15 years "We are currently doing a campaign on workplace safety and 95 percent of the places we have seen are still not complying with safety laws," MartĂnez said.

A GERMAN fugitive, named as T. Zaun has been arrested in Alicante on suspicion of sexual abuse, rape, robbery and extortion. If found guilty, he could face 15 years in prison. The 34-year-old suspect had spent

the last few months living in Calpe. A press release from the police on Wednesday says the man was arrested when he arrived at his home last Monday, and is now at the disposition of the Central Instruction Courts of the National Court.

Friday, October 28, 2011

Cars that go as fast backwards as forwards NISSAN'S recent bid to drive the electric LEAF backwards at 90mph up the hillclimb at Goodwood got us thinking. What other cars can go as fast in reverse as they can forwards? Surprisingly, the answer is quite a few. Normal cars have only one, pretty lowratio reverse gear. That keeps most cars down to about 20-30mph in reverse. Even the most powerful supercars aren't geared to exceed 60mph going backwards. But quirks of design and engineering give the following cars the surprising ability to go exactly the same speed in the 'wrong' direction...

Every Daf ever made had a very strange transmission called Variomatic, the infamous 'rubber band' gearbox. A system of stretching belts meant there was only one, infinitely variable forward gear - but equally only one reverse gear too. So you could travel just as fast backwards as forwards up to around 85mph in the case of the Volvo/Daf 66 (1972, pictured).

Light Car Rocket (1991)

rear, and fittingly it can also drive as fast in reverse as forwards, thanks to its unusual variable automatic transmission. For the record, that's about 60mph.

Saab 93 (1956)

MINI E (2009)

Daf Variomatic

Rather unsportingly, BMW's all-electric MINI E has a speed limiter fitted on its reverse gear. Without it, the MINI can go as fast backwards as it does forwards - comfortably above 90mph.

The amazing Rocket, designed by Gordon Murray, famously used a Yamaha superbike engine. But it also got its sequential gearbox, and since there was no reverse gear, a transaxle was mounted separately to the gearbox to provide reverse. That in turn gave you five reverse gears. Autocar magazine drove a Rocket in reverse at 104.1mph, but Jay Leno says his own Rocket has been even faster - no less than 149mph in reverse.

Messerschmitt KR200 (1956)

The Messerschmitt KR200 microcar was never fitted with a reverse gear. To go backwards, the driver had to stop and then restart the engine in the opposite direction. This gave the Messerschmitt the ability to travel backwards in four gears, maxing at about 60mph.

Two-stroke engines can, in theory, be bump-started by rolling the car backwards and firing up the engine. That then gives you all the forward gears in reverse, and just one forward gear. Perhaps the most famous candidate was Saab's two-stroke 93.

Mazda RX-3 (1971)

Like two-stroke engines, early Mazda rotary engines could run in reverse. Apparently, if you roll a Mazda RX-3 backwards, then drop the clutch, the engine spins backwards and gives you all the forward gear ratios in reverse.

Land Rover (1983)

Zest Roadster (2006)

The very odd Zest, built in France, really lives up to the promise of its design. Its shape is completely symmetrical front to

Early Land Rovers were able to engage overdrive in any gear, including reverse. OK, maybe it won't go as fast backwards as forwards but it's certainly one up on most cars. However, this isn't a recommended activity...

Continued on page 29

DOH!

Friday, October 28, 2011

Nissan LEAF (2010)

Caterham Seven (1973) In 2001, British stuntman and Formula One test driver Darren Manning set a new world record by piloting a 2001-model Caterham Seven Fireblade in reverse at a speed of 102.58mph. That was thanks to its combination of a Honda Fireblade motorbike engine/gearbox with an electro-pneumatic reverse selection mechanism, which allowed it to reach its maximum speed heading in the 'wrong' direction.

Hammond v Clarkson in poll

Nissan's all-electric LEAF will go as fast backwards as forwards - if you remove the speed limiter. Stunt driver Terry Grant did just that and was all set to break records at the 2011 Goodwood Festival of Speed by driving up the hill in reverse at up to 90mph. He completed the climb at the media preview day but was banned from doing it at at the public weekend because of safety concerns. Damn health and safety again...

VW crams 16 people into an up!

THE record is not an official attempt, as an observer was not present, but enough people still saw it to confirm it was genuine. Apparently, the 15 women and one (lucky?) man crammed into the car, with seven on the back seat, four on the front seats, two in the footwells, two in the boot and one on the dashboard. The people-packing record attempt is something of a Volkswagen tradition: it first held a car-cramming session back in the 1950s with the original Beetle, something that apparently proved ‘extremely popular’. The tradition reached its people-packing zenith in 2001, when 27 students from a Kentucky, US university crammed into a

New Beetle, setting a Guinness World Record in the process. Meanwhile, a group of Australians revived the tradition with the original Beetle last year, by packing 17 people into the classic VW. 16 people in an up! can’t quite match this, but then, it is a smaller car – at 3.54 metres long and 1.64 metres wide it is, says VW, one of the smallest four-seaters in the world. It won’t be the last person-cramming attempt with the new VW up!, either. More are planned following the car’s launch later in the year: seems we should come back, then, if we want to see even more than 16 people crammed into the hit VW city car…

Just a bit of fun! A traffic cop flagged down a motorist and said, 'I'm arresting you for going through three red lights.' 'Yeah, well, I'm colour blind,' said the motorist. 'In addition to that, you were exceeding the speed limit,' said the policeman. 'So what?' said the motorist. 'And on top of all that you were going the wrong way down a oneway street,' added the officer. 'I always did have a lousy sense of direction,' said the motorist with a smile. At that point, his wife leaned forward from the back seat and said, 'Don't pay any attention to him, officer. He always talks like this when he's had a few drinks.'

Richard Hammond has come top amongst women whilst Jeremy Clarkson is preferred by men – according to a survey that set out to determine the British public’s favourite celebrity driver. The poll, conducted on behalf of Netcars.com, canvased 3,000 people, and saw the Top Gear presenters beat McLaren teammates Jenson Button and Lewis Hamilton to the nation’s affections. Button, however, placed second amongst women, with 26% of the vote versus Hammond’s 30%, while Hamilton picked up a worthy third with 18% of the overall standings. Men, on the other hand, not only put Clarkson at the top of the tree with 31%,

they voted The Stig second with 27% and Hammond third with 17% – although if our recent taxi ride is anything to go by, second was certainly a fine choice. Anyone wondering about James May? Anyone? 14% of men chose Captain Slow, as it turns out – but only 7% of women. Perhaps it’s the hair. As for why Hammond is so popular amongst women – beyond the obvious dashing good looks, right? – Researchers discovered the female of the species loved his “sense of fun” and “easy going nature”. Clarkson, however, secured less than 10% of the female vote. Apparently it’s something to do with him being “arrogant” and “egotistical”.

Friday, October 28, 2011

The amount of rain Spain has had this last week has proved summer is truly over! So to keep you all snuggly and warm this winter we will be looking out for the latest winter essentials. This first week we will be talking about Jeans.

The 4 Main Jean Styles

Don’t know your body shape? Flick back to last weeks Courier to find out!

Find out which style fits your shape best bottoms are wide-legged Bell Bottoms Bell jeans which are loose from

The boot cut is tapered to the knee Boot Cut and are slim in the thigh area but is

the knee downwards and fitted tightly around the hips.

made slightly wider from the knee down to the hem in order to accommodate a person’s boots. Great for Apple Shapes!

Bershka 29.99€

Stradivarius 29.95€

Perfect for Pear Shapes! H&M 29.95€

Blanco 15.99€

Straight Cut

Straight cut is the most basic and classic style of jeans. Straight down from the waist to Perfect the bottom. Just make sure this for Rectangle cut flatters your shape as it can Shapes! not be worn by all!

Skinny Cut

Great day to day jeans Blanco 19.99€

Zara 25.95€

A fashion favourite

Great for Hourglasses to show their shape off!

Bershka 29.99€

The skinny jean will flatter those who wish to show of their curves! A cut similar to the straight cut but extra tight!

Blanco 19.99€

Bershka 25.99€

Tips and Advice on buying jeans Tip 1: Dont look at the label! When buying jeans, don’t look at the size on the label. Jeans will only look gorgeous if they fit properly! You have to find the perfect jeans to suit your shape. Dont worry what all the super skinny celebs are wearing!

Tip 2: Not to stretchy Avoid too much elastic in the jeans. Any jeans with 2% elastane or under will make a perfect fit!

Tip 3: Pocket detail Pockets can make a huge effect on how certain jeans make you look. Large, centered pockets are flattering on almost every woman, because they don't draw attention to the rear end. Small pockets and high-set pockets can make a rear look bigger and are perfect for women who need to add curves.

Tip 4: Go shopping! Don’t just buy one pair of perfect jeans! Experiment with different styles, cuts and colours so you don’t over wear your favourite pair!

Perfect shape for all shoes

Mango 29.95€

Stradivarius 29.95€

Hottest trend this season!

GOT A FASHION PROBLEM YOU CAN’T FIX? Maybe you have got a big event coming up and don’t know what to wear. Or you have recently lost a lot of weight and are not sure what clothes you can now wear Email all your problems to Freya at office@thecourier.es

If you’ve got a problem Freya can fix it!

Friday, October 28, 2011

MONDAY TO FRIDAY PROGRAMMING ON TKO FM 0800 - 1100 MORNINGS ARE FUN with ANDY JAMES

1400 - 1700 DAVY JONES’ AFTERNOON LOCKIN

The perfect way to get you through your busy morning, whether you are at work or play. A fantastic selection of sounds that will be guaranteed to get you singing out loud! Mornings just wouldn't be the same without Andy starting your day!

Lock yourself into the sounds of Davy Jones as he cruises through every weekday afternoon. Constant Total Knockout Hits and you can chat live with the chatterbox in the TKO Chat room or on Facebook.

1100 - 1400 AM to PM with DENNIS CHRISTIAN

1700 – 2000 THE ULTIMATE DRIVE TIME SHOW with RACHEL ANGUS

Turn on the AC and relax while DC entertains you with his wit and chill's you out with classic and new tracks. DC brings you music tracks and quizzes that will over heat the brain so turn up the aircon, relax and enjoy!

Join the bubbly and vibrant Rachel Angus as she gets you home with The Ultimate Drive time show. Bringing you old classics and new choons. She´s guaranteed to cheer you up every weekday evening!

MONDAY TO FRIDAY PROGRAMMING ON TKO GOLD 0800 - 1100 THE ALL NEW BREAKFAST SHOW with CHRIS ASHLEY Our Ex BBC & Talkradio presenter Mr Ashley will be waking you up with top tunes that will jog your memory, along with a daft joke or two & of course you can join in the fun...text, phone, or email Chris.

1100 - 1400 THE GOLDEN LUNCH with ALEX TRELINSKI Alex continues those feel good tunes and musical memories as well as inviting his friends from around the world to give you the inside track on all the latest news. On Monday's, Paul Smith from "Soaplife" magazine gives you all the latest soap gossip, Tuesday's coming live and direct from Los Angeles, top showbiz reporter Linda Harris has all the Hollywood gossip and Friday's sees Paul Darby "The Feng Shui Doctor", the UK's leading Feng Shui expert giving you tips on how this ancient system of aesthetics can change your life

1400 - 1800 AFTERNOON TEA with DARREN JAMES Darren invites you to join him for a civilised and sophisticated 4 hours every weekday afternoon. Playing you some of the widest variety of both established and contemporary Easy Listening / Middle-Of-The Road music from Frank Sinatra to Will Young, Barbra Streisand to Katie Melua, ABBA to Take That, along with his notorious competitions, Spanish Lottery Results (and how to play them) The History of UK No1's, Tomorrow's News Today and much more, coupled with an innuendo or two slipped in for good measure! Get out the Duraglit and polish up that Tea Service

1800 - 2100 SUNDOWNERS with DAVE KNIGHTS Join Dave as he takes you through 3 hours of music guaranteed to help you recover from the stresses and strains of another hectic Costa Blanca day! With competitions, great feel-good music and a little of something to help you relax. Sundowners is the perfect cocktail every single day.

2000 - 2300 TUESDAYS ONLY OLD SCHOOL DISCO with ANDY JAMES Let Andy take you back to those old school classics from the 70s and 80’s.

NOTICE As you may have read before, TKO FM has moved studio premises, because of this, you may be experiencing reception problems on 91.9 FM and 89.9 FM. If you are, please retune your radio to 87.7FM and listen on air for further details.

Lets see if you can win youself a meal for 2 and a bottle of wine at Quesada Fish & Chips

POP QUIZ October 28 Welcome to the famous TKO Gold pop quiz! We sure did have some fun with last week’s questions. All you have to do is take the first letter from each answer to find the name of a band or artist. Once you have found the key word listen in to Chris Ashley´s show on TKO Gold, Saturday mornings 9am – 12pm 1. Where was Lynyrd Skynyrd at home...sweet home in fact. 2. Jon Lord was the keyboard player with this heavy rock band. 3. Name the group who recorded God Gave Rock And Roll To You and Hold Your Head Up. 4. What type of train was Elvis traveling on in 1955. 5. Mister Stubbs, Benson, Payton & Fakir made up this group. 6.They were washed up on Pure Shores in 2000. 7. Real name Tracy Morrow what is the stage name. 8. Same subject ...his real name is Reg Ball he changed it to Reg Presley and formed this group. 9. Home city of The Housemartins.

Friday, October 28, 2011

CODE CRACKER Code Cracker is a crossword puzzle with no clues; instead, every letter of the alphabet has been replaced by a number, the same number representing the same letter throughout the puzzle. All you have to do is decide which letter is represented by which number. In this week’s puzzle, 26 represents G and 21 represents Y, when these letters have been entered throughout the puzzle, you should have enough information to start guessing words and discovering other letters.

QUICKIE

Across 1 Healthy (3) 3 Fidgety (8) 8 Expert (7) 9 Walk in a procession (5) 10 Enthusiastic (5) 11 Let go (7) 12 Unexpected (6) 14 At rest (6) 18 Be worthy of (7) 20 High in social rank (5) 22 Once more (5) 23 Journeys (7) 24 Demonstrates (8) 25 Papa (3)

Down 1 Fixes (7) 2 Article (5) 3 Umpire (7) 4 Cold dishes (6) 5 Young sheep (5) 6 Outlive (7) 7 Therefore (4) 13 Lose heart (7) 15 Light footwear (7) 16 Contented (7) 17 Hammered (6) 18 Hard of hearing (4) 19 Steps (5) 21 Haemorrhage (5)

Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Refused, 5 Vases, 8 Tense, 9 Message, 10 Lap, 11 Royal, 12 Total, 13 Sends, 16 Stew, 18 Grim, 20 Edges, 23 Bears, 24 Tasks, 26 Era, 27 Appears, 28 Blade, 29 Siege, 30 Scenery. Down: 1 Retires, 2 Funny, 3 Smells, 4 Dampen, 5 Visits, 6 Scatter, 7 Steal, 14 End, 15 Due, 17 Example, 19 Mystery, 20 Estate, 21 Guests, 22 Stable, 23 Brass, 25 Spare

DOUBLE CROSS-WORD Solve the Double Cross-Word puzzle using either the standard or cryptic clues, the answers are exactly the same.

CRYTPIC CLUES Across 1 Guard is held free (6) 4 Cuddle scares awfully (6) 9 Italian composer making endless noise, sir (7) 10 Stop a huge get-together (5) 11 The Middle East initially is the subject (5) 12 For a change, respect the royal staff (7) 13 Let someone else take over the responsibility to overtake the stag (4,3,4) 18 Edible leafstalks actors talk about (7) 20 Order kitchen appliance (5) 22 Supports certain teams (5) 23 An article may carry a little weight when the words are confused (7) 24 Protect monitor (6) 25 Desert bug (6)

Down 1 Fish for Jack and his wife (6) 2 The children produce a publication (5) 3 Hangs around aimlessly when the French riots break out (7) 5 A foundation to degrade one (5) 6 Resilient though its lace is damaged (7) 7 An unmissable poser (6) 8 Fail to take an opportunity, as naval defaulters may do (4,3,4) 14 Nursed a revolutionary separate (7) 15 An avalanche of confused, sinless bargainers (7) 16 Have a go at good men’s clandestine meetings (6) 17 Compel me to hide the curtain cover (6) 19 First is the French passage (5) 21 Never, strangely, had courage (5)

STANDARD CLUES

Down 1 Small fatty European fishes (6) 2 Matter (5) 3 Lingers (7) 5 Humble (5) 6 Pliable (7) 7 Childminder (6) 8 Too slow to take advantage of an opportunity (4,3,4) 14 Apart (7) 15 Bombardment (7) 16 Assignations (6) 17 Valance (6) 19 Gangway (5) 21 Courage (5)

Across 1 Defend (6) 4 Stroke (6) 9 Italian composer (7) 10 Cease (5) 11 Topic (5) 12 Ceremonial staff (7) 13 Transfer responsibility to someone else (4,3,4) 18 Long pinkish sour leafstalks (7) 20 Variety (5) 22 Faces (5) 23 Word puzzle (7) 24 Partition (6) 25 Imperfection (6)

Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Fade, 3 Negative, 9 Rampant, 10 Icing, 11 Confidential, 13 Sarong, 15 Appear, 17 Built up areas, 20 Olive, 21 Theatre, 22 Overturn, 23 Fret. Down: 1 Forecast, 2 Demon, 4 Either, 5 Aristophanes, 6 Imitate, 7 Edge, 8 National debt, 12 Prospect, 14 Routine, 16 Hunter, 18 Enter, 19 Hobo.

FILL IT IN

Complete the crossword grid by using the given words:

Myrrh Mien Sea 3 letter words Stump Ogee Tau Ace Tense Past Tea Add Tigon Plat Tie Age Tripe Pole Wet Ape 6 letter words Reds 4 letter words Are Cement Rhea Cant Awe Demean Roar Case Ban 7 letter words Rope Dais Dab Arsenal Rose Dart Ear Decided Sail Dean Hoe 9 letter words Slit Dues Lad Attenuate Soon Egad Lot Medicated Spas Elan Ned 10 letter 5 letter words Ewer New words Enter Here Nod Elasticity Epics Loco Pad Speechless Ethos Lots Pod

SPANISH-ENGLISH CROSSWORD Improve your Spanish - clues in Spanish, answers in English or vice versa.

Across 1 Tráfico (7) 5 Escarcha (5) 8 Hedgehog (5) 9 Dieciséis (7) 10 Stars (astronomical) (9) 12 Añadir (agregar) (3) 13 Pedestrian (6) 14 Más fácil (6) 17 Corbata (3) 18 Penguins (9) 20 Drill (tool) (7) 21 Milk (5) 23 Deaf (5) 24 Sospechoso (7)

Down 1 Thirteen (5) 2 There (3) 3 Vase (7) 4 Castillo (6) 5 Zorros (animales) (5) 6 Operación (acción) (9) 7 Fork (cutlery) (7) 11 Viajero (9) 13 Ducklings (7) 15 Eagles (7) 16 Cebollas (6) 18 Peter (5) 19 Dulce (caramelo, galleta) (5) 22 Taco (billar) (3)

Friday, October 28, 2011 Across 1 From the Latin for ‘with good faith’, which adjective means genuine or real? (4,4) 7 Which diving waterbird with a long neck, lobed toes and almost no tail, typically has bright breeding plumage used in display? (5) 8 In music what name is given to a continuous slide upwards or downwards between two notes? (9) 9 In the Harry Potter series of books, what sort of creature is Hedwig? (3) 10 In Scandinavian mythology, who was the god of thunder, the weather, agriculture, and the home? (4) 11 What name is given to a ceremonial officer of a church, college, or similar institution? (6) 13 Which small harpsichord with the strings set obliquely to the keyboard was popular in the 18th century? (6) 14 What name is often applied to a group of people with shared concerns within a political party or larger organisation? (6) 17 What name is given to a religious or solemn ceremony consisting of a series of actions performed according to a prescribed order? (6) 18 Which container filled with explosive or incendiary material, is designed to explode on impact or when detonated by a timing, proximity, or remote-control device? (4) 20 In Chinese philosophy, what is the name of the absolute principle underlying the universe, combining within itself the principles of yin and yang and signifying the way, or code of behaviour, that is in harmony with the natural order? (3)

SUDOKU

Quiz Word

22 What type of ammunition consisted of a number of small iron balls fired together from a cannon? (9) 23 Which Austrian pop musician topped the British singles charts in 1986 with Rock Me Amadeus? (5) 24 See 17 Down

Down 1 What name is sometimes applied to a prejudiced person who is intolerant of any opinions differing from his own? (5) 2 What is the capital and largest city of Kenya? (7) 3 Which electrical device can interrupt the flow of electrical current when it is overloaded? (4) 4/5 Which English novelist’s best-known work was Robinson Crusoe? (6,5) 6 What is the name of the mechanical device that blows air onto a fire to make it burn more fiercely? (7) 7 Benny who was known as the King of Swing? (7) 12 Derived from the Latin for ‘whirling’, what name is given to the sensation of whirling and loss of balance, associated particularly with looking down from a great height? (7) 13 What is the state capital of New Mexico? (5,2) 15 From the French for ‘bell’, which small translucent covers are used for protecting or forcing outdoor plants? (7) 16 Which highly flammable sticky jelly, consisting of petrol thickened with special soaps, is used in incendiary bombs and flame-throwers? (6) 17/24 Which Norwegian explorer was the first person to reach the South Pole? (5,8) 19 Which word can mean a thin stick used by a conductor to direct an orchestra or a short tube passed from runner to runner in a relay race? (5) 21 What name is given to an indefinite and very long period of time, especially a period exaggerated for humorous or rhetorical effect? (4)

SALLY’S SIMPLE SPANISH herramientas – tools

Match these words with their Spanish translations then find them in the wordsearch. (Answers below)

HISTORY QUIZ 1. Which country introduced the world's first diesel locomotive in 1912? 2. At the Battle of Actium, who defeated Mark Anthony and Cleopatra? 3. What did Percy Shaw invent in 1934? 4. In What Year Did World War I Begin? 5. The Battle of Rorke's Drift in 1879 featured in which war? 6. Nekal ( made in Germany in 1917)was the first type of what? 7. Roller coasters originated in what country? 8. In which country was Auschwitz? 9. Who was assassinated by her own bodyguard in 1984? 10. Hans Steininger had the world's longest what, which ended up killing him? 11. Which human rights organisation founded in 1961 won the Nobel prize in 1977? 12. What Was Launched In 1960 & Was Closely Linked With The Sexual Attitudes Of The Swinging 60's?

1. Germany 2. Octavian and Emperor Augustus 3. Cats eyes 4. 1914 5. Zulu War (or Zulu Wars). 6. Detergent 7. Russia - ice on sleds 8. Poland 9. Indira Ghandi 10. Beard - Tripped over it down stairs 11. Amnesty International 12. The Pill

ANSWERS

Last Week’s Solutions Code Cracker Last weeks Quiz Wordsolution Across: 1 La Boheme, 7 Dough, 8 Rio Grande, 9 Cur, 10 Apse, 11 Venice, 13/17 Ronald Reagan, 14 Welles, 18 Acne, 20 Tea, 23 Anode, 24 Silvers. Down: 1 Larva, 2 Bronson, 3 Hero, 4 Minuet, 5 Ounce, 6/22 Charles Lindbergh, 7 Delibes, 12 Pliable, 13 Rat Trap, 15 Lucerne, 16 Saunas, 17 Radon, 19 Ethos, 21 Abel.

A A HK T NRUA T S OCQA HOZ E NJ A RDL QD UE A S K A RA L QRI QF ORA D S P Z UDUCA L A P P I L S WI N R N L L E WN B L GL DL X RGOP OY B OOS E T A X V WT T O R N I S S S L L A V E I HE A HCORB Z DNE X Y X T J H J WU S A M L L A Soduko

18. perno, 19. tuerca, 20. prensa. a. screw, b. nut, c. bolt, d. screwdriver, d. spanner, e. adjustable spanner, f. hammer, g. drill, h. blow torch, i. pliers, j. washer, k. adjustable

spanner, l. clamp, m. ladder, n. nail, o. scraper, p. paint brush, q. blade, r. soldering iron, s. paint roller, t. socket. Answers: 1f, 2e, 3i, 4g, 5h, 6r, 7s, 8o, 9p, 10m, 11n, 12d, 13q, 14a, 15j, 16d, 17t, 18c, 19b, 20l.

1. martillo, 2. llaveinglesa, 3. alicates, 4. taladro, 5. soplete, 6. soldador,7. rodillo, 8. rasqueta, 9. brocha, 10. escalera, 11. clavo, 12. destornillador, 13. hoja, 14. tornillo, 15. arandelas, 16. llave, 17. casquillo,

QP A DRV ALICATES CRE OHM ARANDELAS E RDRA R BROCHA A A E RNS L DT UOO CASQUILLO RI L V T P CLAVO L OA OE L D L O T S E DESTORNILLACE Y GA T DOR C I L A ME ESCALERA L L OA A V NGL E S A HOJA WP WR M U LLAVE WD R F WE V E T T S J LLAVE-INGLESA Span - Eng

Quizword

MARTILLO PERNO PRENSA RASQUETA RODILLO SOLDADOR SOPLETE TALADRO TORNILLO TUERCA Fill It In

Friday, October 28, 2011

Horoscopes By Pandora

Aries March 21 - April 19 You might feel "world weary", but the truth of it is that you don't do anything worthwhile. This week may be a good opportunity for you to change that. Remember, it's unfair to expect your friends and family to provide you with alibis.

Feeling the pain in Spain Dear Rose, I have a problem which is really upsetting me. I am 65 years old and retired last year and moved over to Spain. I love the life here and wake up each day feeling happy! This is wonderful as for the last few years of living and working in the UK I was stressed and miserable. My wife is also enjoying it here but is missing the children and grandchildren far more than me. I know this is quite normal but she talks about it all the time and I think she regrets our decision to start a new life here. I am now beginning to feel selfish but on the other hand do not want to return so I don't know what to do. Have you any ideas? DAVE, Punta Prima Dear Dave, I am sorry to hear about your dilemma but unfortunately this seems to be a common problem here in Spain. Friends I speak to often say the same thing that they would go back because they miss the family so much but their husbands are completely happy and will not entertain the idea. Try not to feel guilty as life is far too short for this and it is wonderful that you have at last found something which makes you so happy. I don't know your financial situation, but perhaps it would be possible for your wife to try and go back for regular visits so this way you can both be happy. Have you got Skype? This could also help for your wife to keep in touch. I do hope things work out for you both because at this stage it is time for enjoying yourselves as who knows what is round the corner.

Is my fella for real? Dear Rose, I am a divorced woman in my early 60's. I have recently met a very attractive and special man who has changed my whole life around. I love being with him and want to see him as much as possible but unfortunately he is still working and has to travel back to the UK very regularly for days at a time. My friends ask me if I am sure he is not

Taurus April 20 - May 20 "Hunky-dory" - a beautiful phrase that will sum up the day, week and month for you. You see, it's just going to be tip-top from here-on-in and the smile on your face is going to bug the living hell out of everyone.

Gemini May 21 - June 20 The odds are always on your side today, so don't be afraid to experiment. The sun doesn't wear a hat, and it's probably not a good idea to play with it. You might find you start aching below the knee, today.

Cancer June 21 - July 22 married and goes home to see his wife, but assures me he is divorced and I believe him. One of these friends has taken a great dislike to him and tells me that I am being stupid and naive if I believe what he says. I don't know if she says these things because she is jealous but it is planting seeds in my mind and is making me very upset. What should I do? MELISSA, Los Montesinos. Hi Melissa, Well first of all I was pleased to hear you have met someone who is making you happy. Life can get very tedious sometimes and it is lovely to have a new interest in whatever shape it may appear! I think that if you believe what this man is telling you then you must go with your gut feelings and not pay attention to what other people are saying. Some women can get very bitchy if they feel you are neglecting them for a new man. As this is a relatively new relationship try and take it slowly and see what happens. Enjoy it while you can and if it makes you have a spring in your step go for it!

Mother in war crisis Dear Rose, I am writing to you because I need to get something off my chest. My mother-in-law and her partner are out here staying with us for a week and she is driving me up the wall! She is so loud and selfopinionated and only happy if she is getting her own way. Her partner and my husband are typical males and do anything for a quiet life so I never say anything to her about her behaviour. I am expected to wait on her hand and foot and all she does is criticise about

If you have a problem Romany Rose can help you with, email her at office@thecourier.es our children and generally about our lives. She is particularly bad after a few gin and tonics which she begins to drink at lunchtime. This is only day two of the visit and I just don't know how I will stay sane for the rest of the time. Please help me! DESPERATE, El Galan. Dear Desperate, I do feel for you in this sort of situation. Mothers-in-law can be very difficult at the best of times but when they are with you 24/7 then they can really drive you to distraction. The only advice I can give you is try to ignore her rudeness and in your mind just switch off. It is only for one week so keep trying to tell yourself that you are the stronger one and that you can cope. Tell your husband that when she goes that you expect him to do a lot of pampering for you and that you are already planning on him taking you somewhere special for dinner ! Keep calm and smiling. You can do it !

My luxury prisonâ&#x20AC;Ś Dear Rose, I have been married for 43 years and do love my husband but I am finding it very hard to live with him. We are together all day and every day and it is stifling me. We retired here last year and it seemed idyllic. We have a beautiful house and I love it but it also seems to be my prison. My husband just wants to stay at home and potter about whilst I want to go out and explore all the wonderful places that are

now on our doorstep. I did drive in England but have not been brave enough to try here so I am completely reliant on my spouse for everything. I have not made any friends because we never go anywhere to meet anyone. Please help me before I have a nervous breakdown. EVE, Torrevieja. Dearest Eve, what a terrible situation. I am genuinely worried about you. The first thing you must do is talk to your husband about how you feel although I am sure he must be aware of your unhappiness. Tell him that that although you love him and enjoy his company you also need female companionship and so you need to find new friends. I see you live in Torrevieja so it will be easy to find all sorts of clubs and organizations to join. There are countless Ladies groups and charity raising societies in that area. Perhaps you can persuade your husband to go on some coach trips if he doesn't want the stress of driving. There really are some beautiful places to see not too far away. I really think you must pluck up courage and try driving. It really is not so difficult once you get over driving on the other side of the road! The roads are far quieter here than in the UK. This will completely change things for you and you will have more control and independence. You seem a strong woman and I think you will be fine. Please write again and tell me how you are getting on in your new life.

The accuracy of any horoscope today will be directly related to the number of things you do today. A skydiving accident may befall you if you go skydiving. Alternatively, it may not.

Leo July 23 - August 22 Praying to false gods never seemed so good after this week. You may become friends with a self-proclaimed tribal warrior named Alf. Romantic evenings are much overrated. Instead of romance, think about mutated pigs.

Virgo August 23 - September 22 Tight-rope walking is an excellent way to lose a few pounds...from your intestine. When the morning is done, you will have your sweet reward. Nutrition will play a major part of your life for the next week.

Libra September 23 - October 22 People say you make your own luck, but carrying around a sign that says "I'm needy and helpless" is probably not what they had in mind. Your words are, to some, like finger-nails scratching a blackboard.

Scorpio October 23 - November 21 Time is on your side, feel free to mix-itup a little. Three is the magic number, but you may find that one is sufficient for you today. Find yourself someone to settle down with today. Don't be choosy - just pick at random.

Sagittarius November 22 - December 21 Clowns with pickaxes will haunt your dreams tonight and will affect you at around mid-morning the following day. The effect of such dreams will cause you to a) be tired, b) look startled when people slam the door, or c) be nice to any clowns you meet.

Capricorn December 22 - January 19 By agreeing to read this horoscope you may be bringing on yourself several levels of suffering and/or pleasure. If you agree to this, please stop reading now. Or carry on, depending on whether you're willing to take that chance.

Aquarius January 20 - February 18 Your choice of reading material is starting to swerve dangerously into the "blue" section. A tasty beverage will be coming your way today - something to look forward to.

Pisces February 19 - March 20 Terrible news is headed your way - the best way to save your sanity is by implicating as many people as possible in your demise. Wake up in a trash-can again? Don't let your drinking get you down, go and have a beer.

Friday, October 28, 2011

TRELI ON THE TELLY

THE HEX FACTOR

IS THE ‘X Factor’ hitting some trouble for ITV1? I’m asking the question because a fortnight ago, there were a lot of column inches in the tabloids saying Simon Cowell wasn’t happy with the falling ratings - or the performance of the judges. I initially dismissed it all as a load of rubbish because the ‘X Factor’ press office is brilliant at leaking all kinds of tales to keep the show constantly in the spotlight. For example, such gems as when Louis Walsh opens his bladder, or which contestant is allegedly sleeping with another! But the rumours seem to have a ring of truth about them because up popped up a lead in last Saturday’s Sun saying how worried Cowell was, and that same night, by sheer coincidence, we got a performance from the judges that verged on the hysterical and almost repulsive. And I write this as a big fan of the show. Personal insults were traded between them and nonsensical comments made about some of the performances, bizarrely concerning the handful of better singers. This ‘over the top’ rubbish was all so blatantly and desperately orchestrated, that any intelligent viewer must have thought they were watching a second-rate pantomime choreographed by a drunken Lionel Blair. Too many attempts were made to shock. We had judges who got along so nicely with each other a fortnight ago trying to slash each other’s throats, as if they’d drunk some evil potion concocted by the Wicked Witch…or was that Cheryl Cole? As an exercise, it failed miserably, as ‘Strictly Come Dancing’ got an almost identical audience. Make no mistake, both shows are getting close on ten million viewers and are the big beasts of the TV week. But

Cowell’s acts are just not up to it

with ALEX TRELINSKI Cowell has made a big cock-up from his transatlantic hide-out if he thought that shoving a red-hot poker under the judges’ posteriors would magic up some extra viewers. He’s completely missed the point and the key problem of this series. The finalists are just NOT good enough and are the worst bunch in the history of the show. That’s why the viewers, including your humble reviewer, have become a bit bored with it. I also have the American version to compare it with, which reached the judges’ houses section last week on ITV2. It has produced a terrific final line-up of 17 acts, all of whom are worthy of inclusion and it’s impossible to predict who’ll be in the final shakedown. It really is in another league, and creating a sub-standard Punch and Judy show of four people bickering behind a desk on a UK Saturday night is hardly a substitute for finding world-class talent. Staying with people having little to say behind a desk, you know that a daytime TV show is in trouble when adverts for it start appearing on a Saturday night. I’m talking of ITV 1’s ‘Loose Women’, for which promos are popping up everywhere. Someone else on the slide is Anne Robinson. How the mighty has fallen, with the Queen of Mean’s new ‘Weakest Link’ shows being played out in an early-afternoon ghetto slot on BBC2. I know she’s finishing next year, but this is a ridiculous bit of scheduling for what has

THE X FACTOR JUDGES: Friends or enemies?

COLD COMFORT: David Attenborough’ s Frozen Planet hafantastic footage

been a consistently entertaining programme over the last decade. Mind you, I do like Alexander Armstrong’s ‘Pointless’, which has taken her old BBC1 time. Television was made for David Attenborough and vice versa. The 85-year-old genius was back on BBC 1 on Wednesday night with his latest series, ‘Frozen Planet’. It featured fantastic footage from the North Pole, including some gorgeous polar bears, who are not so cuddly when you get close to them. If we paid the licence fee over here in Spain, it would be worth every penny for everything that Attenborough and his brilliant production team do. It also makes you ponder over the gigantic screw up that mankind has made with this planet. That’s as serious as you’ll ever get me in this column! ‘Spooks’, of course, with Ruth’s demise, was never going to give us a happy ending to it’s 10-year run on BBC1, but it was great to see Matthew Macfadyen back as Tom for a fleeting appearance in the last episode, ready to bump off a nasty Russian in Moscow. Perhaps Tom could now be sub-contracted to eliminate the BBC idiots who incorrectly thought this show had run its course…

LAST NIGHT 12 JOANNA (Keira Knightley) and Michael (Sam Worthington) have been married for four years and things aren’t going as well as they should. Joanna has trouble accepting Michael’s sexy co-worker, Laura (Eva Mendes), fearing her husband has already cheated with the sultry woman, a charge he flatly denies. Taking off on a business trip with Laura, Michael finds himself entertaining thoughts of infidelity, with Laura doing her best to tempt the married man. For Joanna, a chance meeting

CAST: Keira Knightley, Sam Worthington, Eva Mendes, Guillaume Canet. DIRECTOR: Massy Tadjedin GENRE: Drama RATING: 4/5 RUNNING TIME: 93 min. with old love Alex (Guillaume Canet) returns powerful feelings of romance and regret. As the two spend the night catching up, Joanna finds herself reconsidering her life choices, wondering if she committed to the right man. Massy Tadjedin makes her directorial debut with “Last Night,” and she’s picked one hell of a story to launch her filmmaking

career. Though her script lacks originality, with the struggle of faithfulness the basis for countless motion pictures, Tadjedin attacks the core tension with an evocative New York City frigidity, staging the film around dinner gatherings and tastefully decorated apartments filled with self-

involved people. A character piece, “Last Night” spends the entirety of the film in a state of conversation. These characters are fairly communicative, using language to excavate and lure, hoping to uncover a morsel of honesty along the way that turns flirtation into sex, possibly love. The cast is uniformly terrific in these roles. It’s a long night for both

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couples, with Tadjedin working in a few turns along the way, keeping the movie in a realm of unnerving opportunity, distancing the sexes until intensifying urges assume command. I wouldn’t describe “Last Night” as sensual, but there’s a pronounced lustful vibe to help urge the feature along, generating plausible outcomes for everyone involved. If you choose night, prepare for a most this film for your date uncomfortable ride home.

The Courier Friday TV

28th October

00:35 This Week 01:20 Holiday Weatherview 01:25 Britain, Gaddafi and the Torture Trail - Panorama 01:55 Countryfile 02:55 Antiques Roadshow 03:55 Reel History of Britain 04:25 Newsday 04:30 Asia Business Report 04:45 Sport Today 05:00 Newsday 05:30 HARDtalk 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Helicopter Heroes 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News; Weather 12:00 Filthy Rotten Scoundrels 12:45 Cash in the Attic 13:13 BBC News; Weather 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 The Indian Doctor 16:00 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 16:05 Barney's Latin America 16:35 Prank Patrol Down Under 17:00 Stuck on Sheep Mountain 17:30 Planet Dinosaur Files 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 20:00 The One Show 20:30 Nigel Slater's Simple Cooking 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 A Question of Sport 22:00 Have I Got News for You 22:30 Would I Lie to You? 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 The Graham Norton Show

00:20 00:50 01:20 02:05 02:30 02:45 03:00 03:30 03:45 04:00 04:30

Burnistoun Women! Damages Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday Asia Business Report

04:45 Sport Today 05:00 Spanish Journey - Part One 05:55 Spanish Journey - Part Two 07:00 Zigby 07:10 The Large Family 07:20 The Pingu Show 07:35 Dipdap 07:40 Gigglebiz 08:00 Ed and Oucho's Excellent Inventions 08:30 Trust Me I'm a Genie 08:40 Leon 08:45 Pet Squad 08:55 Newsround 09:00 Trapped 09:30 Mr Bloom's Nursery 09:50 Dirtgirlworld 10:00 Tinga Tinga Tales 10:15 Driver Dan's Story Train 10:30 Charlie and Lola 10:45 Mister Maker 11:05 I Can Cook 11:25 Louie 11:30 Baby Jake 11:45 Waybuloo 12:05 In the Night Garden 12:35 The Pink Panther Show 13:00 Daily Politics 13:30 GMT with George Alagiah 14:00 Diagnosis Murder 14:45 Royal Upstairs Downstairs 15:15 Weakest Link 16:00 Wanted Down Under 16:45 Escape to the Country 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Strictly Come Dancing - It Takes Two 20:00 The Culture Show 21:00 Gardeners' World 21:30 Autumnwatch Live 22:30 Autumnwatch Unsprung 23:00 QI 23:30 Newsnight

00:35 71 Degrees North 01:30 The Zone 01:30 ITV News Headlines 03:35 Not in My Back Yard: Tonight 04:00 ITV Nightscreen 05:35 The Jeremy Kyle Show 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 There's No Taste Like Home 18:00 The Chase 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Wild Britain with Ray Mears 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 An Audience with Barry Manilow 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 Bridget Jones: the Edge of Reason

THE EXPERIMENTS DERREN BROWN: THE GAME SHOW The illusionist continues his social experiments, this time hosting a game show to test people's capacity for evil and investigating whether belonging to a group affects an individual's sense of right and wrong.

00:05 Random Acts 00:10 The Secret Millionaire 01:10 The Film Show 01:40 Professor Green Unseen: 02:10 Inside SBTV: 02:35 4Play: Kitty, Daisy and Lewis 02:50 4Play: The Overtones 03:05 Embarrassing Bodies 04:00 Southland 04:45 Unreported World 05:15 The Dinosaur Mummy 06:10 Chrono-Perambulator 06:25 Countdown 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:25 Frasier 09:55 Undercover Boss USA 10:55 How to Look Good Naked 11:55 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Country House Rescue 14:05 Channel 4 Presents - Lee Pearson 'The Colour Gold' 14:10 River Cottage Bites 14:20 Two Thousand Women 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Four in a Bed 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:30 Unreported World 20:55 Channel 4 Presents - Oscar Pistorius 'Head Strong' 21:00 Come Dine with Me 22:00 Derren Brown: The Gameshow 23:10 Pete Versus Life 23:45 8 Out of 10 Cats

00:00 Big Brother's Bit on the Side 01:00 SuperCasino 05:05 The Family Recipe 05:10 Michaela's Wild Challenge 05:35 Michaela's Wild Challenge 05:55 County Secrets 06:10 House Doctor 06:35 House Doctor 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 Roary the Racing Car 07:20 City of Friends 07:35 Elmo's World 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 Big School 08:00 Little Princess 08:10 The Mr Men Show 08:25 Thomas & Friends 08:40 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:35 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 LIVE with Gabby 13:05 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 16:10 Cheating Fate 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:25 OK! TV 20:00 5 News at 7 20:30 Fifth Gear 21:00 Ice Road Truckers: Deadliest Roads 22:00 Big Brother: Live Eviction 23:00 The Bachelor

The Courier Saturday TV

29th October

00:20 The National Lottery Friday Night Draws 00:30 Weird Science 02:00 Weatherview 02:05 Question Time 03:05 Town with Nicholas Crane 04:05 Reel History of Britain 04:35 Click 04:45 Newswatch 05:00 BBC News 05:30 The Bottom Line 07:00 Breakfast 09:30 Formula 1: The Indian Grand Prix - Qualifying 12:00 Saturday Kitchen Live 13:00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 13:15 Football Focus 14:00 Formula 1: The Indian Grand Prix - Qualifying 15:00 Live Rugby League 17:30 Final Score 18:10 A Question of Sport 18:40 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 19:00 The Impressions Show with Culshaw and Stephenson 19:30 Strictly Come Dancing 21:10 Merlin 21:55 Casualty 22:45 The National Lottery Saturday Night Draws 22:55 BBC News; Weather 23:15 Match of the Day

00:00 00:45 00:50 01:55 03:25 04:25

The Review Show Weather Later with Jools Holland La Zona The Culture Show BBC News

04:30 Click 04:45 Newswatch 05:00 Close 07:00 Zigby 07:10 The Large Family 07:20 Garth and Bev 07:35 Dipdap 07:40 Gigglebiz 08:00 Roar 08:30 Arthur 08:50 Dennis and Gnasher 09:05 Pixelface 09:35 Splatalot 10:00 Live 'n' Deadly 11:00 Who Let the Dogs Out? 11:30 I Want My Own Room 12:00 Deadly Art 12:15 Sorry, I've Got No Head 12:40 MOTD Kickabout 13:00 Swing Time 14:40 Bye Bye Birdie 16:30 Coast 16:40 Escape to the Country 17:40 Great British Food Revival 18:40 Flog It! 19:40 Operation Jericho 20:40 'Allo 'Allo! 21:10 Dad's Army 21:40 Code-Breakers: Bletchley Park's Lost Heroes 22:40 QI XL 23:25 Laughs in the Park

01:35 The Zone 03:35 The Day of the Jackal 06:00 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Mini CITV 08:15 CITV 10:25 Coronation Street 13:10 This Morning: Saturday 14:10 ITV News and Weather 14:14 Meridian Weather 14:15 100% You've Been Framed! 15:15 Babe: Pig in the City 17:00 Bean 18:35 Meridian News and Weather 18:45 ITV News and Weather 19:00 The Chase 20:00 New You've Been Framed! 20:30 Harry Hill's TV Burp 21:00 The X Factor 22:45 Piers Morgan's Life Stories: James Corden 23:45 ITV News and Weather 23:59 Meridian Weather

CODE BREAKERS BLETCHLEY PARKS LOST HEROES

Keeley Hawes narrates the story of how a 24-year-old maths student and a GPO engineer unravelled the secrets of Adolf Hitler's personal code machine - reputedly even more secure than the notorious Enigma device. The duo's work played an important role in ending the conflict in Europe, but because of its classified nature and continued application during the Cold War, the two men were never officially recognised.

00:15 Chris Moyles' Hollywood Stars Quiz Night 01:10 Bunny & the Bull 03:00 On Track 03:25 My Name Is Earl 04:15 Accidentally on Purpose 04:40 Without a Trace 05:25 Night Walking 05:30 Hill Street Blues 06:20 Countdown 06:45 The TV Book Club 07:05 Sali Mali 07:10 The Hoobs 07:35 The Film Show 08:00 Commonwealth Mountain and Ultra Distance Championships 08:55 The Morning Line 09:55 Smallville 10:50 Made in Chelsea 11:50 Inside SBTV: From Bedroom to Boardroom 12:20 Shipwrecked: A Look Back 13:25 The Big Bang Theory 13:55 The Simpsons 14:25 Road to London 2012: That Paralympic Show 14:55 Channel 4 Racing 17:10 Come Dine with Me 19:45 The Simpsons 20:15 Channel 4 News 20:45 World War II: The Last Heroes 21:45 Jamie's Great Britain 22:45 The Ghosts of Girlfriends Past

00:00 Big Brother: The Eviction Interview 00:30 Big Brother's Bit on the Side 01:15 SuperCasino 05:05 Motorsport Mundial 05:35 Fifth Gear 05:55 County Secrets 06:10 House Doctor 06:35 House Doctor 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Fifi and the Flowertots 07:15 Fireman Sam 07:30 Harry and His Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 07:40 Elmo's World 07:55 Roobarb and Custard Too 08:05 The Save-Ums! 08:20 Make Way for Noddy 08:40 Hana's Helpline 08:55 Little Princess 09:05 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:25 Angelina Ballerina 09:45 Rupert Bear 10:00 Olivia 10:15 The Mr Men Show 10:30 Roary the Racing Car 10:45 Animal Families 11:00 Animal Rescue Squad 11:20 The Gadget Show 12:20 Highland Emergency 12:50 Big Brother: The Eviction 13:50 Big Brother: The Eviction Interview 14:20 They Were Expendable 16:55 Gun for a Coward 18:40 5 News Weekend 18:45 Brannigan 21:00 A Fistful of Dollars 22:45 Big Brother 23:45 Kickboxer

The Courier Sunday TV

30th October

08:00 Zigby 08:10 The Large Family 00:45 The Football League Show 02:00 Weatherview 02:05 BBC News 02:30 The Bottom Line 04:00 BBC News 04:30 Our World 05:00 BBC News 05:30 Click 06:00 BBC News 06:30 The Record Europe 07:00 BBC News 08:00 Breakfast 09:00 Match of the Day 10:30 Formula 1: The Indian Grand Prix - Live 14:00 The Politics Show 15:10 Escape to the Country 16:10 Formula 1: The Indian Grand Prix 18:10 Frozen Planet 19:10 Points of View 19:25 Songs of Praise 20:00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 20:25 Countryfile 21:25 Strictly Come Dancing 22:00 Antiques Roadshow 23:00 Da Vinci: The Lost Treasure

00:25 TOTP2: Halloween Special 01:25 Halloween 02:55 Later with Jools Holland 04:00 Ginger Snaps 05:40 Close

08:20 Garth and Bev 08:35 Dipdap 08:40 Gigglebiz 09:00 Roar 09:25 Arthur 09:50 Dennis and Gnasher 10:05 Frankenstein's Cat 10:10 Jinx 10:35 Wingin' It 11:00 The Andrew Marr Show 12:00 Something for the Weekend 13:30 Great British Food Revival 14:30 Flog It! 15:00 EastEnders 16:55 Tara Road 18:30 Miss Potter 20:00 The Teaching Awards 2011 21:00 Top Gear 22:00 Tintin's Adventure with Frank Gardner 23:00 Louis Theroux: America's Most Dangerous Pets

00:00 02:15 05:05 06:00 07:30 08:00 09:15 11:25 11:30 11:45 11:50 13:30 15:15 15:29 15:30 Draw 16:00 17:45 19:00 20:00 20:15 20:30 21:00 22:00 23:00

Constantine The Zone Kojak ITV Nightscreen ITV Morning News Mini CITV CITV Monk Horrid Henry Planet Sketch Yu-Gi-Oh! The Movie Nim's Island ITV News and Weather Meridian Weather Live FA Cup: First-Round The X Factor Downton Abbey The Betty Driver Story Meridian News and Weather ITV News and Weather Harry Hill's TV Burp The Cube The X Factor Downton Abbey

DA VINCI: THE LOST TREASURE Fiona Bruce travels to Florence, Milan, Paris and Warsaw to tell the story of Leonardo da Vinci's life, exploring why a man whose reputation rests on only a few pictures - including the Mona Lisa is regarded as one of the greatest painters of all time. She also visits New York to see a recently discovered piece by the artist.

00:45 8 Out of 10 Cats Uncut 01:35 Rude Tube 02:35 Friday the 13th 04:10 Baazi 06:40 Countdown 07:25 Sali Mali 07:30 The Hoobs 07:55 Paralympic Wheelchair Rugby GB Cup 2011 08:50 The Great London Swim 09:45 Channel 4 Presents - Nathan Stephens 'The Sharp End' 09:50 One Tree Hill 10:45 Hollyoaks 13:15 Professor Green Unseen 13:35 Live and Lost: Rizzle Kicks 13:40 In Time: T4 Movie Special 14:10 Florence and the Machine: The T4 Interview 14:20 The Simpsons 14:50 Shipwrecked: The Island 15:50 Picture Perfect 17:50 The Simpsons 18:20 Kirstie's Handmade Britain 19:25 Deal or No Deal: Bankenstein's Monsters 20:20 Channel 4 News 20:55 The Political Slot 21:00 Grand Designs 22:00 River Cottage Veg 23:00 The Secret Millionaire

01:35 SuperCasino 06:00 The FBI Files 06:50 County Secrets 07:00 Hana's Helpline 07:10 The Milkshake! Show 07:35 Thomas & Friends 07:45 Roary the Racing Car 08:00 Peppa Pig 08:05 Fifi and the Flowertots 08:15 Fireman Sam 08:30 Harry and His Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 08:35 Mio Mao 08:45 Castle Farm 08:50 Igam Ogam 09:00 Roobarb and Custard Too 09:10 The Save-Ums! 09:25 Make Way for Noddy 09:45 Hana's Helpline 09:55 Little Princess 10:10 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 10:25 Angelina Ballerina 10:45 Rupert Bear 11:00 Olivia 11:10 The Mr Men Show 11:25 Roary the Racing Car 11:40 Animal Families 12:00 How Do They Do It? 12:30 Great South Run Live 14:30 Inside Hollywood 14:40 Big Brother 15:40 Ice Road Truckers: Deadliest Roads 16:40 The Canterville Ghost 18:25 The Ghost of Greville Lodge 20:10 Cats and Dogs 22:00 5 News Weekend 22:05 Paul Merton's Adventures 23:00 Big Brother

The Courier Monday TV

31st October

00:00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 00:25 Have I Got a Bit More News for You 01:10 Ask Rhod Gilbert 01:45 Smart People 03:15 Weatherview 03:20 Film 2011 with Claudia Winkleman 04:00 Holby City 05:00 A Farmer's Life for Me 06:00 Newsday 06:30 HARDtalk 07:00 BBC News 07:30 World Business Report 07:45 BBC News 08:00 Breakfast 11:15 Helicopter Heroes 12:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:58 BBC News; Weather 13:00 Filthy Rotten Scoundrels 13:45 Cash in the Attic 14:13 BBC News; Weather 14:15 Bargain Hunt 15:00 BBC News; Weather 15:30 Regional News and Weather 15:45 Doctors 16:15 The Case 17:00 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 17:05 Barney's Latin America 17:35 Prank Patrol Down Under 18:00 Deadly Top 10 18:30 Blue Peter 19:00 Newsround 19:15 Pointless 20:00 BBC News 20:30 Regional News Programmes 21:00 The One Show 21:30 Inside Out 22:00 EastEnders 22:30 Cops Behaving Badly Panorama 23:00 Young Apprentice

00:00 Match of the Day 2 00:50 Fast and Loose 01:20 Never Mind the Buzzcocks 01:50 Halloween 6: the Curse of Michael Myers 03:15 Ginger Snaps II: Unleashed 04:45 Sport Today 05:00 Newsday 05:30 Asia Business Report 05:45 Sport Today

05:55 Close 08:00 Little Robots 08:10 The Large Family 08:20 Garth and Bev 08:35 Dipdap 08:40 Gigglebiz 09:00 Ed and Oucho's Excellent Inventions 09:30 Trust Me I'm a Genie 09:40 Leon 09:45 Pet Squad 09:55 Newsround 10:00 Trapped 10:30 Mr Bloom's Nursery 10:50 Dirtgirlworld 11:00 Tinga Tinga Tales 11:15 Driver Dan's Story Train 11:30 Charlie and Lola 11:45 Zingzillas 12:05 Big Barn Farm 12:25 Louie 12:30 Baby Jake 12:45 Waybuloo 13:05 In the Night Garden 13:35 The New Pink Panther Show 14:00 Daily Politics 14:30 GMT with George Alagiah 15:00 Diagnosis Murder 15:45 Royal Upstairs Downstairs 16:15 Weakest Link 17:00 Wanted Down Under 17:45 Escape to the Country 18:30 Flog It! 19:15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 20:00 Eggheads 20:30 Strictly Come Dancing - It Takes Two 21:00 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip 22:00 University Challenge 22:30 Baking Made Easy 23:00 Origins of Us

00:15 That Sunday Night Show 00:45 ITV News and Weather 00:59 Meridian Weather 01:00 Someone's Daughter, Someone's Son 02:00 Premiership Rugby Union 02:55 The Zone 04:00 Motorsport UK 04:50 ITV Nightscreen 07:30 ITV Morning News 08:00 Daybreak 10:30 Lorraine 11:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 12:30 This Morning 14:30 Loose Women 15:30 ITV News and Weather 15:55 Meridian News and Weather 16:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 17:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 17:59 Meridian Weather 18:00 There's No Taste Like Home 19:00 Best Dish: The Chefs 20:00 Meridian Tonight 20:30 ITV News and Weather 21:00 Emmerdale 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Little England 22:30 Coronation Street 23:00 Doc Martin

ATTACK OF THE TRIP ADVISORS Cutting Edge explores the impact of negative online reviews on the British hospitality industry, and whether the Trip Advisor website is beneficial to consumers or an online resource open to abuse. With more than 40 million users a month, the site is the world's largest and most powerful travel guide, but some businesses struggle to cope with the relentless criticism published on its forums.

00:00 Alan Carr: Chatty Man 01:10 Derren Brown: The Gameshow 02:20 American Football Live 06:10 Freesports on 4 06:40 Post Modern Pastimes 06:55 Grudge Match 07:05 Brief Encounters of the Sporting Mind: Body Building 07:10 Scrapheap Challenge 08:05 Sali Mali 08:10 The Hoobs 08:35 The Hoobs 09:00 Freshly Squeezed 09:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:55 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:25 Frasier 10:55 Undercover Boss USA 11:50 Gok's Clothes Roadshow: Get the Look for Less 12:55 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 14:00 Channel 4 News Summary 14:05 Country House Rescue 15:05 Wake of the Red Witch 17:10 Countdown 18:00 Deal or No Deal: Bankenstein's Monsters 19:00 Four in a Bed 19:30 Come Dine with Me 20:00 The Simpsons 20:30 Hollyoaks 21:00 Channel 4 News 21:55 4thought.tv 22:00 Brave New World with Stephen Hawking 23:00 Attack of the Trip Advisors

00:00 Kiss of the Dragon 01:55 UFC 66 02:55 SuperCasino 06:05 The Family Recipe 06:10 Chinese Food in Minutes 06:15 FBI Files 07:00 Hana's Helpline 07:10 The Milkshake! Show 07:35 Thomas & Friends 07:45 Roary the Racing Car 08:00 Thomas & Friends 08:10 The WotWots 08:20 City of Friends 08:35 Elmo's World 08:50 Peppa Pig 08:55 Peppa Pig 09:00 Little Princess 09:10 The Mr Men Show 09:25 Castle Farm 09:30 Thomas & Friends 09:45 Noddy in Toyland 10:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 10:15 Peppa Pig 10:25 Peppa Pig 10:30 Roary the Racing Car 10:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 11:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 11:15 The Wright Stuff 13:10 LIVE with Gabby 14:05 5 News Lunchtime 14:15 Big Brother 15:15 Home and Away 15:45 Neighbours 16:15 CSI: Miami 17:15 Elevator Girl 19:00 5 News at 5 19:30 Neighbours 20:00 Home and Away 20:25 OK! TV 21:00 5 News at 7 21:30 Celebrity Wish List 22:00 The Gadget Show 23:00 New Hotel Inspector

The Courier Tuesday TV

1st November

00:00 BBC News 00:25 Regional News and Weather 00:35 A Question of Sport 01:05 John Bishop's Britain 01:50 The Graham Norton Show 02:35 Weatherview 02:40 The Great British Bake Off Masterclass 03:40 The Great British Bake Off Masterclass 04:40 Nigel Slater's Simple Cooking 05:10 Reel History of Britain 05:40 Reel History of Britain 06:10 Newsday 06:30 HARDtalk 07:00 BBC News 07:30 World Business Report 07:45 BBC News 08:00 Breakfast 11:15 Helicopter Heroes 12:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:58 BBC News; Weather 13:00 Filthy Rotten Scoundrels 13:45 Cash in the Attic 14:13 BBC News; Weather 14:15 Bargain Hunt 15:00 BBC News; Weather 15:30 Regional News and Weather 15:45 Doctors 16:15 The Case 17:00 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 17:05 Junior Bake Off 17:35 Prank Patrol Down Under 18:00 Hotel Trubble 18:30 Blue Peter 19:00 Newsround 19:15 Pointless 20:00 BBC News 20:30 Regional News Programmes 21:00 The One Show 21:30 EastEnders 22:00 Holby City 23:00 Death in Paradise

00:00 00:30 01:20 02:45 04:15 04:30 04:45 05:00 05:30 05:45

Never Mind the Buzzcocks Newsnight Halloween: Resurrection Ginger Snaps Back Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today

06:00 Ma France 1 07:00 Ma France 2 08:00 Little Robots 08:10 The Large Family 08:20 Garth and Bev 08:35 Dipdap 08:40 Gigglebiz 09:00 Ed and Oucho's Excellent Inventions 09:30 Trust Me I'm a Genie 09:40 Leon 09:45 Pet Squad 09:55 Newsround 10:00 Trapped 10:30 Mr Bloom's Nursery 10:50 Dirtgirlworld 11:00 Tinga Tinga Tales 11:15 Driver Dan's Story Train 11:30 Charlie and Lola 11:45 Zingzillas 12:05 Big Barn Farm 12:25 Louie 12:30 Baby Jake 12:45 Waybuloo 13:05 In the Night Garden 13:35 The New Pink Panther Show 14:00 Daily Politics 14:30 GMT with George Alagiah 15:00 Diagnosis Murder 15:45 Royal Upstairs Downstairs 16:15 Weakest Link 17:00 Wanted Down Under 17:45 Escape to the Country 18:30 Flog It! 19:15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 20:00 Eggheads 20:30 Strictly Come Dancing - It Takes Two 21:00 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip 22:00 James May's Man Lab 23:00 The Most Courageous Raid of WWII

00:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 00:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 00:35 Exposure: Bailiffs 01:35 That Sunday Night Show 02:05 Wildlife Patrol 02:30 The Zone 02:30 ITV News Headlines 04:35 Champions League Weekly 05:00 ITV Nightscreen 06:35 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:30 ITV Morning News 08:00 Daybreak 10:30 Lorraine 11:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 12:30 This Morning 14:30 Loose Women 15:30 ITV News and Weather 15:55 Meridian News and Weather 16:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 17:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 17:59 Meridian Weather 18:00 There's No Taste Like Home 19:00 Best Dish: The Chefs 20:00 Meridian Tonight 20:00 Weather 20:30 ITV News and Weather 21:00 Emmerdale 21:30 Mayday Mayday 22:00 High Stakes 23:00 71 Degrees North

JAMIES GREAT BRITAIN Jamie Oliver travels to Yorkshire and discovers how the Industrial Revolution changed Britain's favourite dishes. From Persian-inspired lamb shanks with British ale, to Jewish smoked trout, the chef meets people from all over the world to learn how immigrant workers have drawn on their own ethnic culinary traditions to reflect the changing tastes of Britain today.

00:00 Top Boy 01:10 The Simpsons 01:40 Pete Versus Life 02:10 Random Acts 02:15 Alan Carr: Chatty Man 03:10 Late Night Poker 04:05 Guide 07:10 Drifting 07:25 Countdown 08:10 The Hoobs 09:00 Freshly Squeezed 09:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:55 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:25 Frasier 10:55 Undercover Boss USA 11:55 Gok's Clothes Roadshow: Get the Look for Less 12:55 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 14:00 Channel 4 News Summary 14:05 Channel 4 Presents - Lee Pearson 'The Dancer' 14:10 Country House Rescue 15:10 The Ghost and Mrs Muir 17:10 Countdown 18:00 Deal or No Deal: Bankenstein's Monsters 19:00 Four in a Bed 19:30 Come Dine with Me 20:00 The Simpsons 20:30 Hollyoaks 21:00 Channel 4 News 21:55 4thought.tv 22:00 The Food Hospital 23:00 Jamie's Great Britain

00:00 Big Brother 01:00 Big Brother's Bit on the Side 02:00 Police Interceptors 02:55 SuperCasino 06:05 The Family Recipe 06:10 Grey's Anatomy 06:55 County Secrets 07:10 House Doctor 07:35 House Doctor 08:00 Thomas & Friends 08:10 The WotWots 08:20 City of Friends 08:35 Elmo's World 08:50 Peppa Pig 08:55 Little Princess 09:10 The Mr Men Show 09:30 Thomas & Friends 09:45 Noddy in Toyland 10:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 10:15 Peppa Pig 10:25 Peppa Pig 10:30 Roary the Racing Car 10:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 11:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 11:15 The Wright Stuff 13:10 LIVE with Gabby 14:05 5 News Lunchtime 14:15 Big Brother 15:15 Home and Away 15:45 Neighbours 16:15 CSI: Miami 17:15 The Family Recipe 17:20 Lone Rider 19:00 5 News at 5 19:30 Neighbours 20:00 Home and Away 20:25 OK! TV 21:00 5 News at 7 21:30 Real Food Family Cook Off 22:00 Superior Interiors with Kelly Hoppen 22:00 5 News Update 23:00 CSI: Miami

The Courier Wednesday TV

2nd November

00:00 BBC News 00:25 Regional News and Weather 00:35 Imagine: Grayson Perry and the Tomb of the Unknown Craftsman 01:35 The Private Lives of Pippa Lee 03:10 Weatherview 03:15 The Queen's Palaces 04:15 Andrew Marr's Megacities 05:15 History Cold Case 06:15 Nigel Slater's Simple Cooking 06:45 HARDtalk 07:00 BBC News 07:30 World Business Report 07:45 BBC News 08:00 Breakfast 11:15 Helicopter Heroes 12:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:58 BBC News; Weather 13:00 Filthy Rotten Scoundrels 13:45 Cash in the Attic 14:13 BBC News; Weather 14:15 Bargain Hunt 15:00 BBC News; Weather 15:30 Regional News and Weather 15:45 Doctors 16:15 The Case 17:00 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 17:05 Junior Bake Off 17:35 Prank Patrol Down Under 18:00 Roy 18:30 Serious Explorers: Raleigh 19:00 Newsround 19:15 Pointless 20:00 BBC News 20:30 Regional News Programmes 21:00 The One Show 21:30 Waterloo Road 22:30 The Impressions Show with Culshaw and Stephenson 23:00 Frozen Planet

00:00 Later Live - with Jools Holland 00:30 Newsnight 01:20 Louis Theroux: America's Most Dangerous Pets 02:20 Damages 03:00 Newsday 03:30 Asia Business Report 03:45 Sport Today 04:00 Newsday 04:30 Asia Business Report 04:45 Sport Today 05:00 Newsday

05:30 Asia Business Report 05:45 Sport Today 06:00 Ma France 3 07:00 Ma France 4 08:00 Little Robots 08:10 The Large Family 08:20 Garth and Bev 08:35 Dipdap 08:40 Gigglebiz 09:00 Ed and Oucho's Excellent Inventions 09:30 Trust Me I'm a Genie 09:40 Leon 09:45 Pet Squad 09:55 Newsround 10:00 Trapped 10:30 Mr Bloom's Nursery 10:50 Dirtgirlworld 11:00 Tinga Tinga Tales 11:15 Driver Dan's Story Train 11:30 Charlie and Lola 11:45 Zingzillas 12:05 Big Barn Farm 12:20 Louie 12:25 Baby Jake 12:40 Waybuloo 13:00 In the Night Garden 13:30 Daily Politics 15:00 See Hear 15:30 The Hairy Bakers 15:45 Royal Upstairs Downstairs 16:15 Weakest Link 17:00 Wanted Down Under 17:45 Escape to the Country 18:30 Flog It! 19:15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 20:00 Eggheads 20:30 Strictly Come Dancing - It Takes Two 21:00 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip 22:00 Great British Food Revival 23:00 Secret Pakistan

00:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 00:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 00:35 In the Line of Fire 01:35 Joanna Lumley's Greek Odyssey 02:30 The Zone 05:05 Kojak 06:00 ITV Nightscreen 07:30 ITV Morning News 08:00 Daybreak 10:30 Lorraine 11:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 12:30 This Morning 14:30 Loose Women 15:30 ITV News and Weather 15:55 Meridian News and Weather 16:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 17:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 17:59 Meridian Weather 18:00 There's No Taste Like Home 19:00 Best Dish: The Chefs 20:00 Meridian Tonight 20:30 ITV News and Weather 21:00 Emmerdale 21:30 Live UEFA Champions League

DANGEROUS DRIVERSâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; SCHOOL A middle-aged Lancashire man who likes nothing better than haring down the backroads of Accrington learns to slow down as his wife considers lifting her ban on him driving with their children in the car. A London mum involved in a crash 20 years ago plucks up the courage to get behind the wheel again, and a Finnish woman masters the knack of driving on the left in Cardiff

00:00 Top Boy 01:05 Random Acts 01:10 True Blood 02:25 UK & Ireland Poker Tour 03:20 Sailing 03:45 Beach Volleyball 04:40 KOTV Boxing Weekly 05:05 That Paralympic Show 05:30 Commonwealth Mountain and Ultra Distance Championships 06:25 The Great London Swim 07:15 Scrapheap Challenge 08:10 The Hoobs 09:00 Freshly Squeezed 09:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:25 Frasier 10:55 Undercover Boss USA 11:55 Gok's Clothes Roadshow: 12:55 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 14:00 Channel 4 News Summary 14:05 Country House Rescue 15:05 King Solomon's Mines 17:05 Channel 4 Presents - Oscar Pistorius 'Head Strong' 17:10 Countdown 18:00 Deal or No Deal: Bankenstein's Monsters 19:00 Four in a Bed 19:30 Come Dine with Me 20:00 The Simpsons 20:30 Hollyoaks 21:00 Channel 4 News 21:55 4thought.tv 22:00 Kirstie's Handmade Britain 23:00 Grand Designs

00:00 Big Brother 01:00 Flatliners 03:05 SuperCasino 06:00 The Family Recipe 06:10 The Hotel Inspector 06:55 County Secrets 07:10 House Doctor 08:00 Thomas & Friends 08:10 The WotWots 08:20 City of Friends 08:35 Elmo's World 08:50 Peppa Pig 08:55 Little Princess 09:10 The Mr Men Show 09:30 Thomas & Friends 09:45 Noddy in Toyland 10:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 10:15 Peppa Pig 10:25 Peppa Pig 10:30 Roary the Racing Car 10:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 11:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 11:15 The Wright Stuff 13:10 LIVE with Gabby 14:05 5 News Lunchtime 14:15 Big Brother 15:15 Home and Away 15:45 Neighbours 16:15 CSI: Miami 17:10 The Family Recipe 17:20 Aces 'n' Eights 19:00 5 News at 5 19:30 Neighbours 20:00 Home and Away 20:25 OK! TV 21:00 5 News at 7 21:30 Highland Emergency 22:00 Dangerous Drivers' School 23:00 Paul Merton's Adventures

The Courier Thursday TV

3rd November

00:00 BBC News 00:25 Regional News and Weather 00:35 The National Lottery Wednesday Night Draws 00:45 Ask Rhod Gilbert 01:20 Film 2011 with Claudia Winkleman 01:20 National Lottery Update 02:00 Dead Ringers 03:50 Weatherview 03:55 See Hear 04:25 Planet Dinosaur 04:55 Made In Britain 05:55 Reel History of Britain 06:25 Newsday 06:30 Cops Behaving Badly Panorama 07:00 BBC News 07:30 World Business Report 07:45 BBC News 08:00 Breakfast 11:15 Helicopter Heroes 12:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:58 BBC News; Weather 13:00 Filthy Rotten Scoundrels 13:45 Cash in the Attic 14:13 BBC News; Weather 14:15 Bargain Hunt 15:00 BBC News; Weather 15:30 Regional News and Weather 15:45 Doctors 16:15 The Case 17:00 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 17:05 Junior Bake Off 17:35 Prank Patrol Down Under 18:00 Copycats 18:30 Sorry, I've Got No Head 19:00 Newsround 19:15 Pointless 20:00 BBC News 20:30 Regional News Programmes 21:00 The One Show 21:30 EastEnders 21:30 BBC News; Regional News 22:00 Britain on the Fiddle 23:00 Crimewatch

00:00 00:30 01:20 02:20 03:00 03:30 03:45 04:00 04:30 04:45

Rab C Nesbitt Newsnight James May's Man Lab Damages Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today

05:00 Newsday 05:30 Asia Business Report 05:45 Sport Today 06:00 Talk German 07:30 Real Chinese 08:00 Little Robots 08:10 The Large Family 08:20 Garth and Bev 08:35 Dipdap 08:40 Gigglebiz 09:00 Ed and Oucho's Excellent Inventions 09:30 Trust Me I'm a Genie 09:40 Leon 09:45 Pet Squad 09:55 Newsround 10:00 Trapped Ever After 10:30 Mr Bloom's Nursery 10:50 Dirtgirlworld 11:00 Tinga Tinga Tales 11:15 Driver Dan's Story Train 11:30 Charlie and Lola 11:45 Zingzillas 12:05 Big Barn Farm 12:25 Louie 12:30 Baby Jake 12:45 Waybuloo 13:05 In the Night Garden 13:35 The New Pink Panther Show 14:00 Daily Politics 14:30 GMT with George Alagiah 15:00 Diagnosis Murder 15:45 Royal Upstairs Downstairs 16:15 Weakest Link 17:00 Wanted Down Under 17:45 Escape to the Country 18:30 Flog It! 19:15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 20:00 Eggheads 20:30 Strictly Come Dancing - It Takes Two 21:00 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip 22:00 Great British Food Revival 23:00 Life in a Day

00:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 00:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 00:35 UEFA Champions League: Extra Time 01:35 Ladette to Lady: Australia 02:30 The Zone 02:30 ITV News Headlines 04:35 The Nun's Story 07:10 ITV Nightscreen 07:30 ITV Morning News 08:00 Daybreak 10:30 Lorraine 11:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 12:30 This Morning 14:30 Loose Women 15:30 ITV News and Weather 15:55 Meridian News and Weather 16:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 17:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 17:59 Meridian Weather 18:00 There's No Taste Like Home 19:00 Best Dish: The Chefs 20:00 Meridian Tonight 20:30 ITV News and Weather 21:00 Emmerdale 21:30 A Failing System: Tonight 22:00 Emmerdale 22:30 Coronation Street 23:00 Joanna Lumley's Greek Odyssey

FOUR IN A BED The guests head to Scotland to stay with Caroline Scott, the owner of The Dean B&B. The picturesque house and breath-taking views across the Firth of Forth win everyone over, but rogue underwear in the drawers, cobwebs on the curtains and a messy breakfast service seriously hamper the host's chances of success.

00:00 Top Boy 01:05 Steve Jobs: iChanged the World 02:10 Random Acts 02:15 On Track 02:50 4Play: Summer Camp 03:05 The Album Chart Show: Spotlight 03:15 O'Horten 04:45 Hallo Panda 05:20 Animal Farm 06:30 Willie's Chocolate Revolution 07:25 Countdown 08:10 Channel 4 Presents - Oscar Pistorius 'Blade Runner' 08:15 The Hoobs 09:00 Freshly Squeezed 09:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:25 Frasier 10:55 Undercover Boss USA 11:55 Gok's Clothes Roadshow: Get the Look for Less 12:55 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 14:00 Channel 4 News Summary 14:05 Country House Rescue 15:10 River Cottage Bites 15:15 Vice Versa 17:10 Countdown 18:00 Deal or No Deal: Bankenstein's Monsters 19:00 Four in a Bed 19:30 Come Dine with Me 20:00 The Simpsons 20:30 Hollyoaks 21:00 Channel 4 News 21:55 4thought.tv 22:00 Beeny's Restoration Nightmare 23:00 Educating Essex

00:00 Big Brother 01:00 Banged Up Abroad 02:00 Poker: The Big Game 02:55 SuperCasino 06:00 The Family Recipe 06:10 The Gadget Show 07:00 County Secrets 07:10 House Doctor 07:35 House Doctor 08:00 Thomas & Friends 08:10 The WotWots 08:20 City of Friends 08:35 Elmo's World 08:50 Peppa Pig 08:55 Little Princess 09:10 The Mr Men Show 09:30 Thomas & Friends 09:45 Noddy in Toyland 10:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 10:15 Peppa Pig 10:25 Peppa Pig 10:30 Roary the Racing Car 10:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 11:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 11:15 The Wright Stuff 13:10 LIVE with Gabby 14:05 5 News Lunchtime 14:15 Big Brother 15:15 Home and Away 15:45 Neighbours 16:15 CSI: Miami 17:15 Class 19:00 5 News at 5 19:30 Neighbours 20:00 Home and Away 20:25 OK! TV 21:00 5 News at 7 21:30 Live UEFA Europa League Football

Friday, October 28, 2011

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CARS FOR SALE Tata 4 x 2 2 litre TD EX 7 seater 2002, 86,000 km, fully serviced, alloys, aircon, bullbar side steps, CD etc, silver 3.450 euros Tel 600 726 221 - 965 687 976 www.fwreurocars .com Fiat Punto 1.2 5dr 2004 74,000 km, fully serviced, silver, 3450 euros tel 600 726 221 - 965 687 976 www.fwreurocars.com Renault Kangoo combi 1.5 dci 2004 twin sliding doors, air con, alloys, cd, white, lovely condition,

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FOR SALE Climbing frame with slide, fireman`s pole, climbing net ,etc ...900€ Double Swing...100€ ph 966 789 728 or 606 797 371 or email maria_cawley @hotmail.com

International Christian Assembly. Calle Pilar de Horadada 5, Torrevieja. Evangelical non-denominational. Sunday services 11:00am. Children’s Church 11:00am. House groups in Torrevieja, Los Balcones, San Javier. Ladies meeting Thursdays 11:00am. Pastor, Rafael Restrepo. All nationalities welcome 966 799 273 // 660 127 276.

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PROPERTY FOR RENT FORMENTERA de la SEGURA. 2 bedroom apartment 350€/mth* Near to town, Pool. Linda 667848582 (39) Ref: 49, 2nd floor one bedroom apartment situated conveniently located in the town centre of Torrevieja, with a small sun balcony overlooking the lovely communal pool. Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 112, Spacious 3 bedroom detached villa with its private pool is located on the El Raso urbanisation near Guardamar. Convenient for all amenities, shops, supermarket, restaurants and bars. Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 63, Two bedroom 1st floor apartment situated in Monino Blanco. The property overlooks a superb communal pool area, in within walking distance of bars, restaurants and shops. Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 155, Luxurious Three Bedroom Villa With Private Pool, in Quesada Close to shops and restaurants within a five minute drive, and Guadamar Beach is within a ten minute drive. Long term rental €800PCM, Short term available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

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Friday, October 28, 2011 Ref: 709, A lovely 1 bedroom apartment in Aguas Nuevas, within a 5 minute walk of the beach. There is a terrace outside with views to the sea. Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 708, A lovely two bedroom, one bathroom corner ground floor apartment in Algorfa, with a spacious patio & Residents off road parking. Communal pool near by. Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 70, Superb 3 bedroom detached villa set on a large plot in San Luis. The Property is close to the Habaneras Shopping Centre, Aquapark and other amenities. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 117, A Lovely 3 Bedroomed 1st floor apartment on the outskirts of Torrevieja (Mar Azul). The Apartment is in walking distance of the excellent beaches and a good selection of restaurants, shops and bars. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 33, A lovely large 2 bedroom, ground floor apartment within walking distance to the beach. Large lounge, 1 double bedroom and 1 twin bedroom on a gated community. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 61, A lovely two bedroomed groundfloor apartment, located in the centre of the small Spanish town of

Los Montesinos, With a pleasant communal swimming pool adjacent & all amenities in walking distance. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 516, Well situated studio apartment in San Luis. The property has a balcony which has been glazed to create another room. Close to all shops and amenities, on a local bus route & 10 minutes from the beach. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 La Finca. 2 bed, 3 bath townhouse. Long let. Fully furnished. Air con. Lovely location. Gated community. NO PETS. T.V. Views. Communal pool, Solarium, Contracts. €450 month. 690 731 160 (34) Luxury appartments, 2/3 bedrooms in San Miguel De Salinas. Floor heating, Elevator, Roof terrace with swimmingpool, from 385 euros/month Also holiday rentals and appartments in San Miguel de Salinas from 350 euros/month. 966 723 437 and 616 487 493

PROPERTY FOR SALE 110,000€ PRICED TO SELL. SANTIAGO de la RIBERA. 3 bedroom 2 bathroom Villa 1km from beach 5 minutes from Dos Mares Shopping Centre. Linda 667848582 (39)

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Gran Alacant, corner semi detached 3 bedroomed, 2 bathrooms, large garden, enclosed terrace, fully furnished, private drive for 2 cars, on gated desirable urbanisation Monte Faro, many facilities priced for quick sale 185,000 Tel 680 333 242 Balsares, terraced 4 bedroomed house, 3 bathrooms, large underbuild, private underground parking direct to house, small gated urbanisation, directly over looking proposed new golf course opposite Gran Alacant, priced for quick sale at original off plan price 195.000 Tel 680 333 242 Gran Alacant, 3 bedroomed, 3 bath mid terraced Altomar 1, views of Alicante Bay, close to communal pool, walking distance to bars and resturants opportunity at reduced price 125,000 Tel 680 333 242 Gran Alacant, front line, 2 bed, 1 bath, downstairs toilet, fully furnished, roof terrace, walking distance to beaches, large communal and resturants, beach front property priced for quick sale 125,000 Tel 680 333 242 Quesada, detached 3 bedroomed, 2 bath, all large rooms, front enclosed conservatory, fully furnished, oiled fuelled heating, outdoor poolside kitchen and bbq

area enclosed, large pool, outside toilet, garage for 2 cars, newly refurbished, established garden with fruit trees, set in a cul de sac on 1000m2, the overall plot can be divided, as registered as two plots, so this house could be a substantial investment opportunity, situated in the Dona pepe area close to Quesada town centre, priced 255,000 negotiable Tel 680 333 242 Viva Villa and Vacation Services are pleased to offer property sales for the Torrevieja and Oriheula areas of the Costa Blanca, Spain. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 or Visit : www.villaandvacation.com Ref: 513, €115,000. Two bedroom ground floor apartment, in Aguas Nuevas, close to all amenities including the beach. It has a good size lounge, kitchen and has off road parking facilities. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 521, €105,000. This comfortable bungalow is located in San Luis with a new roof and solarium tiles. It is close to supermarkets, bars, restaurants and is on the local bus route. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 520, €85,000. Two bedroom apartment in Dream Hills, with a fully equipped kitchen, large

ELECTRICIAN

lounge, glazed-in terrace and a large solarium. This property comes with a large communal swimming pool. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 516, €39,999. Studio apartment in San Luis, close to amenities. Open plan fully equipped kitchen. Good sized lounge, bedroom and out onto balcony which has been glazed to create another room. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 510, €79,999. Bungalow located in San Luis. It is close to the supermarkets, bars and restaurants and is on the local bus route. An Opel Corsa car is included in this sale. mCall: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: KP3100, €198,000. Three bedroom, two bathroom detached villa, located in San Luis, on a 450sqm plot, with communal pool. Garage to side of house. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 30, €119,000. Two bedroom detached house with large front terrace. This villa is in the Punta Marina area close to Playa Flamenca , Close to amenities. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 78, €120,000. Three bedroom Quad in Jardin Del Mar VII. There is offroad parking and small storage shed in the

SWIMMING POOL MAINTENANCE

enclosed garden area, communal pool nearby. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 709, €60,000 A lovely 1 bedroom apartment in Aguas Nuevas, within a 5 minute walk of the beach. There is a terrace outside with views to the sea. Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref. 526, €49,900. A lovely bright 1 bedroom apartment in the area of Torreblanca.There is a large communal pool and well maintained gardens, with tennis courts and childrens play area. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

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Friday, October 28, 2011

The ABC of Euro 2012 TEST YOUR KNOWLEDGE OF THE BEAUTIFUL GAME WITH OUR ABC QUIZ ...AND against which E, the No1 timate tie earlier this month? surprise nation of the qualifiers? WHICH N scored the opening two WHICH F were the first to start goals in the remarkable free-forall of Portugal 5 Iceland 3? their ties and the first to finish? WHICH G were one of five unbea- WHICH O defender played his part in a 0-0 draw with Russia which ten nations in their groups? was key to the Republic of Ireland’s eventual progress?

WHICH D, a Glasgow Rangers player and national captain, scored on the last night of the competition?

WHICH X prodigy made his debut

WHICH Q, regulars in Euro club competition, provided up to seven members of the Azerbaijan team?

Germany surprisingly register their biggest win of 6-2?

WHICH C were pipped at the post in the last tie and are now in the play-offs?

WHICH W came good in a tough group with three wins in their last four games?

WHICH P striker of which P nation took his international goals tally to 17 during the tournament?

AGAINST which A did free-scoring

WHICH B stunned France with a brilliant 1-0 win in Paris in the first round of matches?

ce of the last night with a late brace to give his team victory in Belfast?

WHICH R’s two goals in Cyprus in the last week of competition helped Denmark win their group at the death? WHICH S’s defeat in the last group WHICH H was top scorer in the game in Maribor let Estonia into the play-offs? qualifiers with 12 goals? WHICH I nation was the first to have a player score a hat-trick? WHAT J is the rather feminine first name of one of two cousins who play in goal for Slovenia? WHICH K scored his 50th and 51st international goals against Macedonia and will be looking to ...AND which T were also let in by a add to his total next month? combination of wins on the last WHICH L name familiar to Celtic, dramatic night? Barcelona and Manchester United fans sparked a remarkable fight- WHICH U absent from the qualiback by Sweden against Holland fiers for good reason lost successive summer friendlies to France, on the last night of action? Uruguay, Sweden and the Czech WHICH M opened the scoring Republic? against Albania in France’s penul- WHICH V pulled off the performan-

BRAVE COSTA ON RAINCLOUD NINE! Orihuela Costa F.C. 2 C.F. Bigastro.9 COSTA’S first home game of the season saw them go behind after 18 minutes – a setback that seemed to knock the confidence on some of their players. Bigastro took full advantage and added more misery on 23, 28, 30 and 34 minutes to go 5 - 0 up. Gummi Gudmundsson

, Aiden Sullivan and Charlie Frost and the tireless tracking down of lone striker Patrick Bass kept Costa going and on 36 minutes Costa got their first-ever federation goal through Alex following a free kick on the right. Bigastro scored again before half-time and further goals on 52 and 55 minutes made it 8-1. But Costa fought spiritedly and for the final 20 minutes entertained the home crowd with Gudmundsson creating a Jack O'Brien goal on 72 minutes to the delight of the home fans. But Bigastro struck once more five minutes later as they took the three points. For more information on Orihuela Costa F.C. Cadetes -contact club secretary George on 679 77 44 88 or visit www.orihuelacostafc.com

for Switzerland at Wembley as an 18-year-old? WHICH Y opened the scoring for England in Montenegro on the last night of competition? WHICH Z was the venue for the key result Slovakia 0 Russia 1 on October 7? ANSWERS Austria; Belarus; Croatia; Steven Davis; Estonia; Faroe Islands; Greece; Klass-Jan Huntelaar; Israel; Jasmin (Handanovic); Robbie Keane; Sebastian Larsson; Florent Malouda; Nani; Darren O’Dea; Helder Postiga of Portugal; Qarabag; Dennis Rommedahl; Serbia; Turkey; Ukraine; Konstantin Vassiljev; Wales; Granit Xhaka; Ashley Young; Zilina.

HOLDERS Spain are through the Euro 2012, so are hopefuls England, and so next month might be the dreamers of the Republic of Ireland. So plenty of interest on the Costas for next summer’s tournament in Poland and the Ukraine. In the meantime, test yourself and your friends with these 26 challenging questions on the qualifiers in our weekly football A-Z Quiz...

Friday, October 28, 2011

American Football? It’s not in rugby’s league!

DONNA GEE takes a Bird’s Eye View at two sports with common roots…and comes up with an (admittedly biased) verdict YOU guys from across the Pond will be furious—but the rest of the world has a ball game which leaves your socalled ''football'' for dead. If you Yanks hadn’t disappeared from the real world into the Bushes (by George, what a clever play on words), you would realise that FOOTBALL is actually the game the rest of the world plays—the one you refer to in the States as ''soccer''. I mean, how can you call a game football when the only time anyone kicks the ball is to convert a try or land what you call a ''field goal''? A try? Well, in the real world that’s the term we use for a touchdown. And by REAL world, I mean the entire globe, not the planet according to that admittedly quite large lump of land between California and New York. The game I’m talking about, by the way, is called rugby. You may have heard of it—in fact you made a rather pathetic attempt to copy it when you nicked our ovalball idea in order to invent your own grid-iron game way back when. In fact, I’m told the intelligent guys among you still play rugby quite a lot at university. And I’m not talking about College Football. Why anyone should care so much about the kids’ version of grid-iron is another mystery to us Brits. Rugby is just as tough as your game, if not tougher. Only our players don’t dress up as bouncy castles and plonk motorbike crash helmets on their heads. What’s all that about,

for heaven’s sake? Apart from anything, it turns the hundreds of players in every team into faceless zombies. I believe the original distortion of the rules of rugby in the United States was largely due to some guy called Walter Camp (who presumably was a lot more macho than his name). It’s so sad because had you stuck to the REAL game invented by William Webb Ellis at Rugby School in 1823, you guys could have been a real force at rugby. Maybe even in the same class as the mighty New Zealand All Blacks, the newly crowned World Champions and most successful international team of all-time. You talk about your quarterbacks. Stars like Brett Favre, Peyton Manning and Dan Tom Brady. Well, we have Carter guys called outside-halves, who are the ultimate playmakers and in Dan Carter missed the recent World Cup because of injury - the Kiwis have as brilliant a player as the world has ever seen. He also kicks goals from 60-degree angles, rather more subtle than your fieldgoal experts who merely have to boot them over from in front of the posts. Anyway, you chose to create your own version of the game. Fair enough, even if you did bend every rule that existed to the point that you even allow the ball to be passed FORWARD. How ridiculous! OK, we did make a bit of a mess of things in the UK early last century when the political

shambles over professionalism saw the game of rugby split into two codes. But they remain very similar—and these days players can switch between rugby league and rugby union with little problem. To sum up, these are the reasons why American Football is to my mind subservient to rugby (either code). 1. Rugby is a worldwide game, while American Football is played seriously in only a handful of countries. Well, not even that - just the US and Canada, really. The International Rugby Board rankings list 94 nations (the USA is actually 16th, so there’s still hope for America if you come over to the real world). New Zealand is ranked No.1 at rugby union and, since you have a population 100 times as big as theirs, the sky should be the limit. And the Aussies are best at rugby league, so you’ve got a chance to bring the cocky so-and-so’s down to earth. 2. Rugby is all action for 80 minutes. American Football is all inaction for four hours—arguably the slowest game on earth. Jut try turning the TV on at random in the middle of a game. If there are not ads showing and something is actually happening, it’s a miracle. And if anyone says cricket is slower, I’ll let Geoffrey Boycott loose on them (in-joke for the Brits). 3. Rugby players lay into each other like real men, with just the flimsiest of body padding. Grid-iron players are unrecognis-

able as human beings with all that body armour. 4. Rugby is played by two teams of 15 players (13 in rugby league). Between them, they have expertise in both attack and defence (note correct spelling of defence). Grid-iron players aren’t good enough to attack AND defend, so a squad of immobile 300-pound elephants are programmed to come on and stop the attackers, who are the only guys who can really play the game. 5. Rugby does not need flimsily-dressed cheerleaders to give the male fans some real excitement. We also celebrate the scoring of tries with applause and back-slapping, not lots of Brett ridiculous dancing and high Favre fives. 6. Rugby is played in ALL conditions—on grass, not synthetic turf, as seemingly used by most NFL teams. That stuff is more dangerous than the opposition, for heaven’s sake. I’ve never seen a grid-iron game played in mud and pouring rain, though I am told it does happen on occasion. Now that would be worth watching even for a cynic like me! 7. Finally, and most important, this article is all a bit of fun and not to be taken seriously. I’m a woman who was reared on rugby union (I’m actually from Wales, where rugby is everything). The reality is that the best game is the one that appeals to YOU. It’s all subjective so whatever your preferences, may the best game win! (Wales is the bit that sticks out to the left of England on the map, by the way). Now let's get down to things that really matter. Which is better...rugby union or rugby league?

Alvaro seals it for Orihuela Macan’s Monte magic ITV Orihuela’s junior teams had a successful day at La Vila – drawing 25-25 at Under 14 level and winning the Under-16 battle 22-20. The seniors rounded off the day by winning their first

home game of the season against a very good Novelda side. Novelda struck first with a penalty after an infringement in the ruck, but good work by the forwards saw Primi

drove over for Orihuela’s first try, which was converted by Gerardo. He added a penalty just before half time and Alvaro sealed victory with a second-half try. Gerardo added the extras for a 17-3 win. It was a very hard earned victory against a well disciplined and organised team, but next week Orihuela will have to step up another level to beat Lorca away and keep their unbeaten record intact. For information on the club, training or tickets for

Grupo Caliche 1 CD Montesinos 2 CD Montesinos continue their unbeaten start to the season after an excellent away win at Horadada team Grupo Caliche. Manager Juanpe again started with Lopez in goal, despite regular first choice Cubano being available following his one-match ban. And. Lopez was never really tested, as the home side were thwarted time after time by a well marshalled and resolute Montesinos defence. It was hitman Macan who broke the deadlock midway through the first half after racing onto a through ball. The second half saw Juanpe make two changes - and one of those subs,

Chulo, provided the cross for Macan to make it 2-0 from close range. With the game won, Juanpe took off strikers Macan and Dimitry –their attacking threat promptly fizzing out. And in the final minute, Caliche managed to pull a goal back following an indirect free kick. This Sunday, CD Montesinos entertain Orihuela Costa (4.30pm). Victory should see them climb into the top three of the second regional league. For more information about CD Montesinos and their Internacional Supporters’ Club, ‘The Full Monte’, go to www.cdmontesinos.com , email thefullmonte2011@hotmail.com or call 637 869 602.

CASH ‘N’ GRAB From Back Page

can't afford to actually be there! While I am harping on about PRIZE GUY: Martin Enderby of La Marina heads for the old standards, when was the last time you saw a footballer European Rugby 7’s tournament in Elche next Tuesday dribble through more than one or two opponents and either with the pair of tickets he won in our competition. Peter score a goal or lay one on? Hutton won the other two tickets and the answer to our Today's "stars" can pass the ball well enough and are fit question was, Wade Dooley won 55 caps for England. and fairly fast. But they have little true individual skill, except in one or two cases, and then it is not seen enough because they can't or don't use it enough or it is quickly snuffed out by some Neanderthal defender. If they could bring back Jimmy Greaves and Georgie Best, how much would Manchester City pay for them? City set the tongues wagging furiously and left other folk open-mouthed with their 6-1 thrashing of United at Old Trafford on Sunday. But six days earlier I saw them held by a very average Villarreal side at the Etihad - and to me that speaks volumes for the state of our Premier League in England.

Heralded as the best league in the world, I have to question that now. True, City - backed by their Arab zillions - are here to stay and they WILL win major trophies very soon. They limbered up with the FA Cup last season - but I have to ask, "Are Nasri, Aguero, Silva and the rest truly entertaining or merely flash machines geared to working the ball through the opposition methodically and into the net if they are lucky!" True flair is in short supply these days. Maybe it is because of the large sums of money involved. Nobody is prepared to take any risks so consquently we have to settle for the sterile fare on offer. Watching players like Best, Greaves, Johann Cruyff and Zinedine Zidane, not to mention Pele, Diego Maradona and Lionel Messi, brought a surge to the spirits and a smile to the face. Oh, to have that back and to be truly in awe of talent at its very Best!

Friday, October 28, 2011

CASH ‘N’ GRAB Just how much would Manchester City pay for Best and Greaves?

THE BOTT VIEW SO Sir Alex Ferguson's allocation of match tickets for Manchester United ended up in the hands of ticket touts. Maybe before last Sunday's 6-1 home drubbing at the hands of arch rivals Manchester City they were like gold dust. Now the poor old spivs can't give em away! United got back on track with a good solid win against Aldershot in the Carling Cup on Tuesday night, using an encouraging mix of seasoned pros and

young up and coming players. Another win at the weekend against Everton will restore a little faith and it is vital they do so if they are to keep tabs on City, who have opened up a sizeable gap at the top so soon in the season. City are going to win major trophies. There is no doubt about that. But United are by no means finished as a major force. They have won more than their fair share of silverware over the years and there is no reason why they can't go on and win more. City are merely providing competition, whether you

regard it as healthy or not with the monetary advantage they hold over the rest. But these are the times we live in and unless you have a rich benefactor, there is little you can do about it other than give it your best shot and hope to hang on to their coat tails. God forbid they do away with promotion and relegation and make the only criteria how much cash you have in the bank to qualify to play with the best. Hopefully common sense will prevail and football at the top level will still be worth watching even if you

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