Week 184

Edition 5

(184)

www.thecourier.es

Friday, August 29, 2014

LOCK, STOCK, AND Light at end of tunnel NOTHING blows massive heist

By ALEX TRELINSKI It was a like scene from a British crime caper movie of the 50’s and 60’s as a gang of robbers pretend­ ing to be builders, dug an elaborate tunnel to get into an Elche bank, only to run away when their plans were rumbled by a security guard once they were in the building!

The gang, which the police believe consisted of four members, had moved into the area a month before the planned robbery last Saturday, and had taken over an empty house, telling inquisitive neighbours that they were carrying out a renovation project. They had other plans though, in what might could ended up as being Alicante Province’s biggest ever bank robbery.

“Three or four of them would arrive at 10.00am every day with their tools and then leave at lunchtime like most builders do,” one resident told the El Mundo newspaper. The men had a different form of building in mind though as they were in fact carefully digging a two metre­wide tunnel, avoiding electricity lines, gas pipes

and sewers in the process, as well as installing a spe­ cial ventilation system.

The crooks ended up dig­ ging a 10 metre deep tunnel which ran for some 150 metres in their plan to rob the Banco Popular branch at the junction of Calles Jorge Juan and Mariano Luiña, close to the Sacred Heart church.in the city. As they were "breaking through" last Saturday, their torchlights attracted the attention of a security guard who rang the National Police, with the worrried crooks running away empty­ handed, leaving their tools and equipment behind, as they scrambled back down the tunnel into the empty house on Calle Calderón de la Barca.

The Police believe the robbers escaped in the nick of time, probably alerted by a lookout that they had working for them outside the bank. Officers, who have combed the tunnel and sew­ ers looking for clues, are convinced the robbers were intending to blow up the vault over the weekend

Continued on page 2

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Friday, August 29, 2014

Are you a snapper? Do you have a great photo? Send it to design@thecourier.es and if we think it is good enough we will publish it as our Picture of the Week TELEPHONE

E­MAIL office@thecourier.es WEB www.thecourier.es HEAD OFFICE Calle Luis Canovas Martinez 1. Urb Aguas Nuevas, Torrevieja 03183, ALICANTE PHONE: 96 692 1003 Email: office@thecourier.es OPENING HOURS Mon ­ Fri 1030 to 1730 EDITOR Alex Trelinski CONSULTANT EDITOR Donna Gee ADVERTISING SALES 966 921 003 office@thecourier.es TELESALES 966 921 003 679 096 309 Sally Los Alcazares, San Javier 618 391 491 Myra Quesada, Rojales, Torrevieja, San Miguel Tel. 618 583 765 Jean La Zenia, Playa Flamenca, Cabo Roig Tel. 618 898 034 Patrick International Rep 5 Languages Tel 685 901 265 Writers Donna Gee Sally Bengtsson Jeanette Erath Alex Trelinski Dave Silver Tony Mayes John McGregor

Picture of the Week

96 692 1003 679 096 309

Spiders net in Orihuela park photo by STANLEY JANYK

LOCK, STOCK, AND NOTHING

From page 1

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Publication Published by TKO Media and Entertainment S.L. Printed by Localprint S.L Depósito legal A ­ 188 ­ 2014 The Courier, its publishers, members of staff and its agents do not accept responsibility for any readers letters or claims by advertisers nor can it be held responsible for any errors in advertise­ ments which are reproduced from poor artwork, low quality electronic data or inadequate instructions for text or other layout features. Further no responsibility is accepted for any loss or damage caused by an error, inaccuracy or non­ appearance of any advertisement, although all advertisements produced are checked prior to insertion. We regret that we cannot accept responsibility for more than ONE incorrect insertion and that no re­publication will be granted in the case of typographical or minor changes which do not affect the value of the advertisement. E&OE. NO PART OF THIS NEWSPAPER MAY BE REPRO­ DUCED WITHOUT THE WRITTEN CONSENT OF THE PUBLISHERS.

when the streets of Elche’s city centre were relatively desert­ ed, due to the summer holidays. Authorities suspect that the gang may well have had struck elsewhere in the country in a similar type of operation, backed up the view of firefighters who examined the tunnel. They said they were impressed by the quality of the structure and that it was a clear sign that the builders of it had plenty of experience in such constructions.

People running local bars and restaurants have been quizzed about any new regular customers that they may have had recently, as well as sifting through all available CCTV footage both from the streets and from businesses that the men may have frequented. One local shop assistant suggested to the La Verdad newspaper that the men were not Spanish and may even be Romanian., and had been spotted in a local butchers shop as well becoming “regulars”, posing as builders at a local bar. As yet though, nobody has been arrested.

BURGLAR BAGGED

A 32 year old Moroccan man accused of robbing five homes across the region, has been arrested by the Guardia Civil in Cabo de Palos on the Mar Menor. He's accused stealing from properties in San Miguel de Salinas, Pilar de la Horadada, and Los Alcazares, with the home owners fast asleep as he plundered their houses. The man was stopped in a routine police check when he was driving in a car that he had stolen from San Miguel. He and a passenger fled but the Guardia officers showed their sprinting prowess in catching the Moroccan. The man then compound­ ed his problems by giving them a false name but his fingerprints revealed his identity and his connection to the various crime scenes.

DOUBLE TRAGEDY

A 90­year­old man from the El Campello area of Alicante City stabbed his 87 year old wife to death on Monday, and then com­ mitted suicide by slashing his throat with the same knife. Their bodies were found by their daugh­ ter, with early theories that it was some kind of suicide

pact being dismissed by the authorities.

The incident took place in an apartment block on the Pinada Lucero urbanisation,

with the gruesome dis­ covery of the bodies being made late last Monday evening. The woman had been found lying in bed with stab wounds whilst the man was slumped over a table. Any third­ party involvement in the killings has been ruled out.

WANTED – MORE HEADLINE NEWS! DO YOU have a story that might grab the headlines?

What’s all the gossip about round your way? A spate of robberies, perhaps – or maybe you’ve spotted a celebrity in the neighbourhood. Whether your news involves fire, police, ambulance, accidents – or hap­

pier events like family weddings (particularly Golden and Diamond ones!), Just phone the Courier office on 966 921 003 or email office@thecourier.es We’re waiting for your call…and next week’s Front Page story.

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Friday, August 29, 2014

TOURIST BOOST A record number of foreign tourists chose Spain for their holidays in July according to official figures. Foreign tourist numbers rose to an unprece­ dented 8.3 million in July, up 5.9 per­ cent from a year earlier, said the tourism ministry. It was the second best month on record, only beaten by the arrivals in August 2013.

British tourists led the influx in July followed by the French and Germans, with the most popular destinations being Catalunya, the Balearic Islands and Andalucia. Holidaymakers are spending more freely, too, with the first half of 2014, showing they spend at just over 26 billion euros, which is up by 7.8 per cent from a year earlier.

"If the trend continues, I think we will have a good August, too," commented Industry Minister Jose Manuel Soria.

The Valencian region, including the Costa Blanca, had 842 thousand for­ eign visitors in July, which was 0.7 per cent more than the same month last year, and by the end of July had wel­ comed just under three and a half mil­ lion people over the first seven months of 2014, an rise of 4.3 per cent com­ pared to the same period in 2013, But, the region had fifteen per cent fewer visitors from the UK in July as opposed to a year earlier, with the fall being off­ set by rises in French, German, and Italian holiday­makers.

The Costa Blanca's hotel occupancy

figures for July stood at 79.60 per cent, which put it eighth in the national league table, with Benidorm leading the way on 87.76 per cent, placing it fourth in the country, behind Barcelona, Mallorca, and Madrid.

Interestingly enough, a survey from Travel Supermarket in the UK sug­ gests that Benidorm is the fastest growing international resort for British tourists wanting an August break. The survey showed a big rise in interest in the resort, with all­inclusive economy packages proving to be especially popular.

Torrevieja has reported high occu­ pancy figures for its hotels for the first half of the month, with the authority claiming a figure of 94.4 per cent,

WHERE’S MUM?

which is well above the average num­ bers for the Valencian Community.

Luis María Pizana, from Torrevieja’s Tourism Department, said that the opti­ mistic forecasts were being made for the high number of visitors and that Torrevieja is experiencing one of the best summers on record.

Meanwhile foreign tourists spent a record 34.487 billion euros in Spain in the first seven months of 2014, which is 7 per cent more than in the same time period last year, though this is down to more visitors, rather than the average spend per person. British tourists on the Costa Blanca had seen their spending though go down in July compared to other nationalities, notably those from Scandinavia.

LOVE IS A TOMATO

A baby dolphin came ashore at Arenales de Sol beach on Wednesday to the surprise of the bathers. The dolphin had got separated from his mother and after several attempts led by the local police, it was safely put back into the sea.

MORE BOATS

Rafts carrying 19 North Africans, all bar six were children or teenagers, were intercepted off the coast of Torrevieja in the early hours of last Saturday morning. Police, coastguard and the Red Cross said that the three jerry­built boats were spotted docking in different places in the port and on the beach. Two of the teenagers were taken to hospital, one with multiple foot injuries and another who had fainted. Red Cross volunteers carried out basic first aid and health checks, gave them food and drink, and supplied warm clothing. All the trav­ ellers were said to be male and of varying ages, with only six of them aged 18 or over.

The first boat was spotted by the Guardia Civil's SIVE warning system at half past twelve, landing in an area between Los Náufragos beach and La Veleta. Two further sightings were made at Cala Mojón and at Cala de la Zorra.

The southern Costa Blanca is not normally a regular point of entry for African migrants seeking to enter Europe via the back door, with rafts usually heading either west towards the province of Cádiz or east towards those of Granada and Almería. But in just under a month, there have been landings at Santa Pola, Torrevieja, Pilar de la Horadada, and the Mar Menor.

TAKE EM DOWN

Torrevieja Council has decided to get tough over illegal bill­ board sites around the area, most notably next to the CV905 Crevillente road between the city and Quesada. The planning department has ordered the immediate removal of at least 120 large billboards that have been put up without permis­ sion and appropriate licenses. The council had warned some months ago that they were going to be taking action over ille­ gal sites, which they also view as a distracting safety hazard for passing motorists.

Spain's crazy Tomatina festival was its usual squishy self last Wednesday as nearly 22,000 people gathered in the Valencian region town of Buñol to pelt each other with ripe tomatoes. One of Spain's quirkiest and best­known tourist draws, the Tomatina was stained this year by a row over its privatization. But that didn't stop the tourists from Australia, Britain, Japan and the United States from joining an event dubbed the 'world's biggest food fight'.

During the event, locals try to protect shops and houses by covering them with great blue tarpaulins to avoid a splatter­ ing. Giordano Mahr, 75, saw his favourite town centre bar boarded up on Wednesday to shield it from a sloshing with tomato juice, but he didn't mind.

"This is a unique fiesta. We really enjoy it. It brings a lot of benefits to the town," he said.

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BON VOYAGE An Orihuela Council PR adviser has apologised for an offensive Twitter message which was not exactly comple­ mentary of the domestic tourists visiting the region from inland locations like Madrid.

Artur Balaguer tweeted that he could not wait for September to come round because the area could say could goodbye to those “f­­­­­g Spanish morons from Madrid with their rude children”. He’s remarks didn’t exactly go down well with opposition politicians and tourism chiefs who called for his resignation. Balaguer has removed the tweet and said his comments had been taken out of context by opposing parties like the Partido Popular and that their reaction was over the top and was in retaliation to his criticism of their policies across the Valencian region.

LA MATA DEATH

The body of a 46 year old Ukrainian man has been found in the La Mata area of Torrevieja. The Guardia Civil made the discovery after resi­ dents complained of a strong stench coming out of an apart­ ment on Calle San Roque close to the Town Hall, with firefighters and the police hav­ ing to smash down the door.

Health workers entered the flat wearing special masks and they believe the man had been dead for at least week. Investigations have started to work out the cause of death.

DOG NAPPED

A siesta­sleep deprived man from the Valencia region has shot dead his neighbour after a row they had over the victim's dog and its bark­ ing. The victim, aged 64, was spending his summer holidays in Benicarló with his wife and three children. The two men argued in the landing of their apartment block before the aggressor pulled out a gun and fired it at the dog owner’s face. Emergency services could’nt save the victim’s life, with neighbours saying the pair had argued before, with the aggressor reprimanding his soon­to­ be victim for not letting him have his afternoon nap. The killing took place at 3.30pm during siesta time.

LOVE THY NEIGHBOUR

Two brawling Moroccan women had to be seperated by National Police officers in an Elche street brawl. The impromptu fight happened on la Avenida de la Libertad in the city, with neighbours saying that it was all part of a long standing feud between the two individuals, and that it wasn't the first time that they had gone out into the street to settle their differences. The intensity of the confrontation was such that they had to be carted off in two ambulances due to the extent of their injuries, with police suspecting that a knife may well have been used. It wasn't clear who won the fight.

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SAD FIND

Workers at an Elche waste treatment plant made a grisly discovery last Friday morning (August 22nd) when they dis­ covered the body of a new born baby in a knapsack on one of the conveyor belts at the city's Ferrol facility. Police have made widespread inquiries to find the baby's mother and have been in touch with health centres right across the region, but with no success as The Courier went to press.

GETTING BETTER

Friday, August 29, 2014

NOT FERRY WELL

EBOLA PRECAUTIONS

Ferry company LD Lines has been slammed by customers and Spanish authorities after it announced it will be stopping its services from Poole to Gijón and Santander in northern Spain. The French shipping line has told customers with tick­ ets for after September 7th that their bookings have been scrapped. Several hundred people have been rebooked on Brittany Ferries routes which will drop them off at Portsmouth, some 55 miles away from Poole.

LD Lines said the decision came after a “business review” and that they had transferred passengers to other ferry serv­ ices “as close as possible to their LD Lines booking”. Earlier this month, Gijón mayor Carmen Moyirón accused LD Lines of coming to her city “to receive 30 million euros in subsidies and then leave after four years.”

Special isolated rooms are being set up in Alicante City and Elche to avoid patients showing symptoms of having the Ebola virus having contact with other people. This follows the recent scare in Alicante, and will involve a new area being created at the city's Cabo de las Huertas health centre, where suspected cases will be kept before being transferred to the specialist unit at Sant Joan hospital. Elche's Vinalopó hospital has created an isolation unit, with the local health centres being issued with new guidelines as well as special kits for workers to use if they believe somebody is suffering with the symptoms of Ebola.

DROWNING

BETTER DRIVING

Orihuela's Mayor, Monserrate Guillén has taken to Facebook to say that he's on the mend after suffering a heart attack last month. Guillén has thanked all the well­wishers and that his recovery is progressing well, adding that he'll return to work once his doctors give him the all­clear.

CHECKING OUT

A 70 year old holidaymaker died whilst swimming in the Cala Ferris area of Torrevieja last Monday lunchtime. Several swimmers spotted an unconscious man in the sea, but emer­ gency services were unable to revive him. The tragedy hap­ pened in an area between Mar Azul and the Ferris Palm which is not patrolled by Red Cross lifeguards. There was criticism that the man’s body was not removed until close till four o’clock in the afternoon, after lying wrapped in a plastic sheet on the beach for more than three hours.

PRETTY FLAMINGOS An abandoned hotel is taxing the minds of Catral council­ lors. The Hotel Villa de Catral on a local industrial estate has been empty for a number of years and it's decaying and dan­ gerous state has been worrying local officials. It's been loot­ ed a number of times and set fire to, but the building is part of a bankruptcy action, which means the council has its legal arms tied for the time being. Deputy Mayor, María Asunción Salinas has said that the best solution is for the hotel to be demolished to prevent any accidents, and has commissioned a report from the municipal architect which they hope will be a strong lever in persuading the Madrid Commercial Court to green light the knocking down of the hotel.

GREEN RAGE

INAPPROPRIATE ADULT A Romanian man has been arrested on suspicion of sexu­ ally assaulting two young teenage girls in Elche. He had approached them in the Colegio Jesuitinas area and asked the 13 and 14 year olds to go with a him to a bar. When they refused, he acted inappropriately towards them, and was later picked up by the local police.

CALLE CALL

Excellent water conditions and plenty of brine shrimps have led to record numbers of nesting flamingoes using the La Mata and Torrevieja natural park this year. More than a thousand flamingos have been at the Park this year, easily breaking the record set in 2008. Other breeds have also shown significant rises including the Picofina gull.

HOLOCAUST OUTRAGE

Torrevieja's Green Party are claiming that an area of the city is being used for illegal car parking. They've asked the council to clarify why a "green" area at the Park of Nations is being used for vehicles, which they say goes against a zonal plan that was approved back in 1996.

Just over 30 thousand people were arrested in Spain for road offences last year, which was a fall of 9.3 per cent com­ pared to 2012. Alicante Province was ranked the fifth highest in the country for people feeling the long arm of the law, with 1,484 arrests, which showed a modest fall of 2.69 per cent.

There was a more dramatic fall in the Murcia region, with 1,061 drivers being collared in a ten per cent dip compared to 2012. The majority of arrests were down to drink/drug driv­ ing, followed by not having a driving license. Speeding accounted for just 149 arrests.

Spanish clothing retailer Zara has been forced into pulling a new product for youngsters which looked like a prison uniform worn in Nazi concentration camps. The navy­and­ white striped "sheriff shirt" behind the clothing contro­ versy features horizontal stripes and a six­pointed gold star, which appears more akin to camps like Auschwitz and Belsen, as opposed to something that would have been worn in the Wild West of America. Zara have withdrawn the Turkish made item from their on­line outlets, which included Israel, following a stream of complaints from customers.

Shop owners in the Calle María Parodi area of Torrevieja have joined forces to complain to the local council about what they say is the poor state of the area.

They've presented a letter to the authority calling for repairs to the pavement, as well as better lighting and pedestrian crossings.

FLAMING PALMS

Fire crews from Almoradi, Orihuela, and Torrevieja got a Tuesday night call to extinguish a blaze on a Dolores farm.

The fire in an acre field of palm trees could be seen from a considerable distance and was put out at around midnight.

Friday, August 29, 2014

COSTLY LOST DIGITS

A patient has been awarded 15,000 euros in compensation after his severed fingers got lost en route to Torrevieja Hospital. The victim has been fighting regional health author­ ities through the courts since May 2008 after he suffered an accident at work where three of his fingers were ripped off.

The local police put them all in a bag with ice, and the worker was taken to the A&E at Torrevieja Hospital by ambulance. But the form filled in by staff in the emergency department did not state that the fingers were still 'avail­ able'. As a result, the patient was not exam­ ined by a specialist to see whether his extremities could be reimplanted. And a delay of more than a few hours means there would be no chance of sewing them back on.

The victim's career came to an end because with three fingers missing, he could not do his job.

The local police, when quizzed in court, said they tried to give paramedics the bag of ice containing the fingers, but were told, “they'll never be able to put those back on him.”

Yet the head of traumatology at Torrevieja

Hospital said they would have been possible to reimplant and the patient would have recovered the use of them. Paramedics, to confuse matters further, insist they took the bag of fingers and gave it to the doctors on duty in A&E. And A&E staff said nobody ever gave them a bag containing fingers and ice.

In the end, the judge said that it was unclear what had happened to the severed members, but that what was in fact clear was the patient's having lost his only chance of possibly having them sewn back on. The Valencian regional health authority has been ordered to cough up 15 thousand euros in compensation.

LAZY PARKER

Valencia City Mayoress, Rita Barberá has finally moved her car from a public car park, a mere 23 years after she put it there! Two years ago, Sra Barberá said she parked her Lancia in the car park in the city hall square in 1991 when she first became mayoress because the then chief of police told her it was a good idea to do so. She had never driven it since, as it picked up over two decades' worth of dust, as well as having all four tyres let down.

"If anyone else had dumped their car on the street like this, it would have been towed away and impounded years ago," retorted

one of the councillors from the opposition Compromís party. They say the Mayoress has been 'fraudulently' using a public car space and should pay 23 years' worth of daily parking fees, whilst she countered by saying it was left there 'for security reasons'.

She added that she had been paying for the use of a parking space at her apartment block 'religiously every month' even though it was empty because her vehicle was in the city hall square car park. Compromís says the car has even left tyre­prints in the con­ crete slabs of the car park because it had been there so long.

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Friday, August 29, 2014

editor@thecourier.es COURIER POSTBAG: YOUR VIEWS ON OUR NEWS Thanks for pointing our plans along the right road

Blast it, how Spain has changed I THOUGHT the article by Darren James of TKO FM (Issue 183) was absolutely brilliant.

I have lived in Spain for 23 years and have loved every day of it. My first visit was in December 1945 as a young seaman taking the first load of oranges from Valencia to the UK since before the Second World War. The streets of Valencia were deco­ rated, stages erected and every evening I couldn’t get ashore quick enough to see the flamenco shows, the colours and soak up the atmos­ phere with friendship and a welcome from everyone.

My next visit, followed by many more, was in the 1960s where four nights’ full board and return flights cost me £10! That was Magaluf, which was a very different place then

than it is today. Entertainment was in clubs and other venues, there were trips out to fincas for barbecues and wine, everyone was happy ­ but there were never any drunken brawls, foul language or vandalism.

For the last seven or eight years in this area, there has been a glut of bars and cafes just big enough to take a mini car.

If they are not featuring a tribute act of two or three, each screaming into a microphone with the volume full blast, it’s karaoke or a quiz or bingo etc.

Thank heaven we still have Spanish bars where we can meet for a chat without being blasted out.

Viva Espana!

A QUESADA RESIDENT (name and address supplied)

Flights and full board for £10..Magaluf from the air

SINGS AIN’T WHAT THEY USED TO BE! Growing, growing gone - so Nigel seeks voices for future

FOR the past five years, a group of young people have been learning to sing and to perform to a very high stan­ dard in Orihuela Costa.

They have built a huge reputa­ tion for their performances, mainly in the impressive Orihuela Costa Resort function rooms, where they perform to audiences of 1,000 people twice each year.

They are equally well­known for their annual Christmas con­ certs in La Zenia church, which

is also their rehearsal base in the church's underground salon.

They are taught by profession­ al singer, conductor and vocal coach Nigel Hopkins, who came from the UK with a tremendous reputation for working with both children and adults, having per­ formed all across the UK and Europe with the famous Royal Leamington Spa Children's Choir, which he formed in 1980 and continued with until 2003.

The main difficulty with young peoples' groups is that children

grow older and eventually disap­ pear to university, work, or even back to the UK which has hap­ pened to three sisters recently.

We are looking for more young people between the ages of eight and 18 to take the group forward into our next concert/show sea­ son. Any nationality is welcome, although we mainly sing in English.

Two years ago the choir con­ sisted of children from TEN nationalities. All the little singers speak Spanish fluently so com­

munication is no problem.

We meet at La Zenia church salon (underneath the church) each Saturday from 10.30am ­ 12.30pm. Full training will be given. Anyone interested should come along on September 13 (first rehearsal) or phone 966 775 976 for further details.

This is a rare opportunity to join this elite band of youngsters whose performances thrill so many people locally.

PAULINE HOPKINS, Orihuela Costa

DUE to the publicising of our information leaflet on Driving in Spain, we have been overwhelmed with the response and ques­ tions.

In two days, our free Associated membership has increased by 100%.

This proves we were right to think there is a need for an online club that not only gives information on traffic law changes and police campaigns, but at an email away can provide help and advice.

Some of the questions tested me, especially regarding information on what age the law on chil­ dren in cars goes to, the security regarding children over 1.35m and under 12 years with booster cush­ ions and air bags, and finally child seats that the new laws altered to ban rear­facing belted seats.

This was difficult to me, as being well into my 70s, driving children around was something I thought unimportant ­ forgetting that there are a number of parents and grandparents around Alicante.

Other questions were the normal chestnuts ­ the UK driving licence and driving in flip flops.

The DGT has instructed police to increase checks on speeding which will include cameras in crash barriers and in unmarked cars with bonnets up or in roof luggage racks.

Also, due to the increase in bad accidents these last two months ­ especially a women driver in Madrid who killed her friend and two children ­ I would think an increase in checking security of children in cars.

I would like to thank very much all who helped to publicise our service.

DAVID HUDSON, Orihuela

PLEASE PROVIDE AN ADDRESS AND CONTACT NUMBER (NOT FOR PUBLICATION) WITH YOUR CONTRIBUTIONS TO THE LETTERS PAGE

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Friday, August 29, 2014

A CHINK OF LIGHT IN A TUNNEL OF PREJUDICE

SHAMED football boss Malky Mackay has rightly been pilloried for exchanging offensive text mes­ sages with a colleague.

A year ago, the 42­year­old Scot (pictured) was one of the most wanted managers in the game after masterminding Cardiff City's surge into the Premier League. Now, with the words racist, sexist, homophobe and anti­semite ringing in his ears, his career in the game he loves may well be over.

I have been a Cardiff supporter all my life and, like virtually all Bluebirds fans, was dev­ astated when Mackay was sacked last Christmas. Now that I know what was behind his departure, I can understand why City owner Vincent Tan acted as he did.

Calling a South Korean player a ‘fkn Chink' in a text message is totally out of order and Mackay is now paying bigtime for that and a handful of other dubious texted comments to his pal Iain Moody.

Malky has apologised for his behaviour and distanced himself completely from every form of prejudice. Yet the Textgate scandal seems to have left him an unemployable leper in the only business he knows.

It’s easy for the righteous to sit in judge­ ment and condemn him as a prejudiced extremist, but those who know him are aware that he is nothing of the kind.

And let’s be honest, how many of us have never laughed at or told a joke that is not politically correct? I’m no racist, homo­ phobe, or antisemite ­ but I’m not averse to the odd moan about men, so label me as sexist if you must.

The point I am making is that we are sitting in judge­ ment on a man whose crime last trip, it allowed me to carry a 99% of have committed our­ hardback book, my Nexus tablet, selves, if only by laughing at passport, wallet, pens and numer­ a Bernard Manning joke ous other items on my body. Even about blacks, gays, Jews or O'Leary has acknowledged there is any other minority. nothing he can do about these Ironically, some of the vests. It's also easier at security as most vociferous condemna­ you just take off the jacket and put tion of Mackay came from it in the tray. (via blogsite) the people who run the 92­ club Football League. A Donna, I agree wholehearted­ league graced with many ly with you. I use Monarch and black players...but not a sin­ find them far superior with lovely gle black manager. manners and a general air of pro­ Rather than persecuting fessionalism that Ryanair cannot Mackay, perhaps the authori­ come close to. (via blogsite) ties should be looking more I avoid Ryanair whenever pos­ closely at the intolerance sible and haven't flown with which still sullies the not­so them for quite sometime because of Beautiful Game. their rules. I abide completely by I am assured by friends terms and conditions but found the who know Mackay well that stress of being treated like a crimi­ he is no racist, homophobe nal just wasn't worth it. (via blogsite) or anti­semite. He is also The one piece of hand lug­ articulate, a leader of men gage applies to other low­cost and a good communicator, airlines and I believe they should so why don’t the FA find a job follow O'Leary's climb down. My for him as a bridge builder? wife needs her hand bag to carry all He could start by helping to create an atmosphere her essentials for the flight; make where even one of the up, hairbrush, sandwiches, sweets, league’s estiimated 200 gay books, phone, bicycle pump, para­ players is able to come out of chute and spare child. (via the closet without fearing for blogsite) his career...and even his life.

A PLANE IN THE NECK FOR SOME, BUT RYANAIR CUTS COSTA LIVING

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Oh dear, Donna, another col­ umn with the dreaded Ryanair word. As a fairly frequent traveller I've had good, bad and indifferent service on the various low­cost air­ lines, but when I experience the annoyances that can accompany flying these days I have an excel­ lent coping strategy. As a fellow Grumpy Old Gran of a certain age, I just remember the time when it cost an arm and a leg to fly any­ where. Then, when deregulation of the skies took place and the low­ cost airlines took off, my life was transformed. So, when I now climb the airline steps, I give thanks to Freddie Laker, Michael O'Leary, Stelios, et al, who with their entre­ preneurship have made it possible for me to visit my own grandchil­ dren many more times than my par­ ents could.

JAN NUGENT IF Ms Gee bothered to read the terms and conditions she wouldn't have had a problem. They clearly state sizes, weight and num­ bers of items. We fly four or five times a year between Spain and England and often use Ryanair. At least their aircraft aren't 26 years old, which one of their rivals aircraft are.

DAVE, Torrevieja

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ove them or hate them, Ryanair are never out of the headlines. My article last week about their customer relations bypass sparked a mass of reaction from Courier readers and on my Eye on Spain blogsite. You can read them all at http://www.eyeonspain.com/blogs/donnagee.aspx

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When you purchase a ticket you put a tick in the terms and conditions box which at the time stated one piece of cabin baggage only. What gives females the divine right to carry handbags? I have looked at Monarch but I’m not pay­ ing double for the privilege of smi­ ley service. (via blogsite) Having petty rules is one thing, falling foul of petty rules is just stupid. I've flown with Ryanair many times and I've never had a problem, but that's because I make sure I've read and complied with all their terms and conditions.

I'm not suggesting for a minute that I like Ryanair, but by doing things right when I travel with them, I have no reason to hate them either. (via blogsite)

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I use both Ryanair (when fly­ ing into Valencia) and Monarch when flying into Alicante and have never had a problem with either. Ryanair is absolutely fine if you accept that you are flying on a

budget airline with the limitations involved. (via blogsite)

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Ryanair ­ on time, good value.

No complaints. Just obey their rules. Bored to death with carping criticism from people who can´t be bothered to read their terms & con­ ditions .(via blogsite)

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It seems the world is split into two camps. Personally I'm with you, Donna. I'd far rather have a nice experience, with reasonable people than feel as if I'm an incon­ venience. (via blogsite)

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I avoid Ryanair whenever pos­ sible and haven't flown with them for quite some time because of their rules. I abide completely by terms and conditions but found the stress of being treated like a crimi­ nal just wasn't worth it. (via blogsite)

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The easiest way to carry out more than anyone could need on the flight is to wear one of those jackets/vests with multiple pockets.

I have an AyeGear vest and on my

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Friday, August 29, 2014

Friday, August 29, 2014

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Friday, August 29, 2014

MY CIRCUS INTENT

When I was young I wanted to run away from home to join the circus. 'Are you sure you didn't escape from one?' guffawed Mrs S the other evening.

'That is why I much prefer to reminisce with strangers,' I replied coldly. 'I have decided never to talk to you again.'

'Can I have that in writing?'

Mrs S asked hopefully. I shook my head. 'I write about you enough.'

So what was I telling you about? Oh, yes, as a little lad I wanted to join the circus.

'Are you sure you didn't escape from one?' guffawed my best friend Eric the den­ tist later the same evening down at the pub.

I carried on regardless.

'Then, after having matured a bit, I decided I didn't want to join the circus after all.'

'Is there any point to this story?' asked Eric, his eyes darting around the hostelry in a vain attempt to find some­ one more interesting to talk to.

'When I reached the age of

nine I wanted to run away to Hollywood and become a film star,' I went on. 'And did you?' yawned Eric.

'You know I didn't,' I said. 'If I had packed my school satchel and gone to Los Angeles, our paths would have diverged and we never would have been best mates to this day.'

'Another missed o p p o r t u n i t y, ' groaned Eric. I wasn't sure whether he was commenting on my non­starter of a Hollywood career or a desired early curtailment of our friendship.

'Anyway,' said Eric, 'Wasn't one J o h n Wayne enough?'

I shook m y h e a d again.

'Nah! I never wanted to be

John Wayne. Too macho. I was more the romantic type like Cary Grant.'

'Are you having a laugh?' suggested Mrs S when I got home. 'You were never the romantic type.'

'I'm not talking to you,' I reminded her. 'But you just did,' she pointed out.

My Dad would

take me to the pictures every Saturday afternoon. We had seven cinemas within walk­ ing distance to choose from and we chatted about life as we wended our way along the cobbled streets of Manchester 8.

'How are you doing at school, Son?' Dad asked on one occasion. 'Not so bad, Dad,' I replied. 'But I find mental arithmetic a bit . . . er . . . mental.'

D a d smiled.

'You must remem­ ber, our David, that the mind is not just a vessel to be filled. It's a fire to be kin­ dled.' I looked up respectfully at my father. 'What exactly do you mean by that, Dad?' My father shrugged. 'I haven't a clue, Son. I'm not a philosopher. But I suggest that we get a move on now

because Davy Crockett and the River Pirates is starting in five minutes.'

'But I thought we were going to see that Rita Hayworth weepie,' I said.

'Nah,' said dad. 'You're much too young for an adrenaline rush.'

I found it hard to forgive my father for dragging me off to see Davy Crockett and the River Pirates but I wasn't one to bear a grudge against the family. Indeed, several years later I took my grandmother (Goldie Silver, can you believe) to see her favourite film star in his latest film.

Granny Silver adored John Wayne but, as it so hap­ pened, that particular movie also starred my first true love, Rita Hayworth.

The film was released in the UK as The Magnificent Showman but its original title was Circus World and was all about a . . . er . . . a magnifi­ cent showman in the world of the circus.

As the lights went down, I turned to my grandmother

and whispered into her wrin­ kled ear: 'When I was a little lad I wanted to run away from home to join the circus.'

Granny Silver sighed and said: 'Ar tikrai nebuvo pabėgti nuo vieno?'

I failed to mention that my grandmother was born in Lithuania and, although her English was almost pass­ able, she sometimes lapsed into her native language, par­ ticularly when she wanted to express an opinion while at the same time wanting to keep her views to herself. My grandmother was a compli­ cated lady.

However, in one of those strange coincidences, seated behind us was a nosy Lithuanian who tapped me on the shoulder and explained: 'After you said you'd wanted to join the cir­ cus, the lady asked if you were sure you hadn't escaped from one.

'Would you like me to call the manager and have her escorted off the premises for clowning about?'

Friday, August 29, 2014

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Friday, August 29, 2014

GIVE THE DOG SOME CREDIT

As I write this article, I am sitting in a soaking wet London, where it has not stopped raining now for two days. Not only is the sky grey, so is the mood of the people. I was always so fascinated in the fact that how can it be, that if you follow London to Alicante in a straight line, it is about 800 miles, but the differences are so huge.

The weather is an obvious one, but like I have mentioned, the mood of the people is another one. I always believe that the Spanish are a very warm group of people, but I never feel that same warmth when I return to London. Yob culture is another one. Some teenagers in London simply cause havoc. They are aggressive, rude and live for trouble. The same certainly cannot be said for the wonderful Spanish teenagers that live in our Spanish village of Pinoso.

The really sad aspect of these UK yobs, is that they have and have done for some time now, added dogs to their chaotic mess that is called a life. Many dogs in London are not pets anymore. They are used as weapons. Then when something goes wrong, who gets the blame? Yes, you have guessed it ­ the poor innocent dog.

There have been numerous references regarding dogs in other pages of this newspaper, with some people writing that dogs have a killer instinct. What an absolute complete load of rubbish.

The last time I looked at Sky News, it was not and never has been a report about a group of dogs killing another group of dogs. It has always been about humans killing other humans, constantly. The human race is the one with the killer instinct, NOT the dog. The way these dogs are treated by these yobs is shocking, with some doing all they possibly can to try and make their dogs aggressive, by for instance, punching them in the face constantly, until they

finally get the desired reaction of aggression. If after subjecting their innocent and loyal dogs to constant physical abuse, if no aggression is shown, they just throw them away, just as if they were throwing a piece of rubbish away.

A few days ago in London, there was a couple outside a train station, laying on the concrete floor drunk, the man with his latest empty pint glass sitting next to him. Next to the couple was a beautiful Staffordshire Bull Terrier, who sat patiently, while the couple had their latest drunken argu­ ment. After they were finished and as they staggered down the street in a drunken mess, the dog walked next to them, with no lead, looking up at them both with the most adoring eyes you have ever seen. How long will it be before the human race wakes up and gives the dog the credit they deserve?

Killer instinct ­ I think you will find that is us and not the dog. www.thedogyouneed.com is a reg­ istered charity, where we rehabilitate the most severely abused animals. Our charity registration number is 1157175. If you would be kind enough to donate anything to this special cause you can do by Paypal, where the account details are peter@thedogyouneed.com or to our Nat West charity account, where the sort code is 60­16­03 and the account number is 73754900. Even one euro will help, so please, please, try and support us. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

PETS’ CORNER: CAN YOU TAKE IN A HOMELESS DOG OR CAT? Perla is ready for a per­ manent home. She has been fostered now for sev­ eral months, as from time to time she was anxious and started chasing her tail and biting it.

She has had her tail removed as it was broken, and she has also been treat­ ed for an inflamed eardrum.

We have found a homeo­ pathic remedy to help Perla.

She will need to take it all her life at a cost of 10 euros a month.

Perla She needs a special per­ son that will have time to spend with her, and help her to get over her past experi­ ences Please contact Cats n Dogs Aid Assoc.

Tel:616655789 Email; info@catsndog­ said.com. Website www.cat­ sndogsaid.com Rosa is a lovely natured pretty 2yr old little dog (8kgs) with no hang­ups.

She’s very affectionate and very happy to see new peo­ ple, excellent around other dogs and cats. She loves

Rosa

going out for a walk, is good on the lead and stays near­ by when off the lead. She never wanders off. To find out more about Rosa please ring the PEPA helpline on 650 304 746 or email p.e.p.a.animalcharity@gmai l.com Cleo was found aban­ doned in a small town. She is now happily in foster care in a loving household with various other dogs, pups and cats. Cleo is a happy playful pup that settled in her foster home straight­ away. She has no malice in her and is intelligent and quick to learn. She’s affec­ tionate towards people and for such a young pup is very obedient.

To find out more about Cleo please ring the PEPA helpline on 650 304 746 or

email p.e.p.a.animalchari­ ty@gmail.com RUFO is three years an Ihaso mix. He is castrated and leishmania free. He has his bags packed ­ Could you offer him a for­ ever home?

Rufo

If you could offer him a home please contact us at Last Hope Dog Rescue, our email is lasthopedogrescue@out­ look.com, tel no 634065540.

Poor FUDGE hasn´t been very lucky, he has been adopted twice and returned to the kennels twice through no fault of his own, so we

Fudge

Cleo

are hoping it will be third time lucky for Fudge and he will find a forever home soon. He is a small cross­ breed, weighing around 8.5 kilos, although he does

need to put on a little weight and still young at 11 months old; a very happy, affection­ ate boy who is fully vaccinat­ ed, micro chipped and cas­ trated. Please contact the kennels directly on 966710047 or email info@satanimalrescue.com Zac’s owner sadly a few months ago and he is des­ perate to find a new home.

He is a Mastin x Labrador, around 7 years old, neutered, chipped and good

Zac with other dogs, cats and children. Call: 645 469 253. www.petsinspain.com Storm is an 8 month old Belgium Shepherd cross.

He was rescued as a small puppy and has been living with other dogs and cats.

He is chipped, vaccinat­ ed and Storm neutered.

Call: 645 469 253. www.petsinspain.com Amber is around 2 years

This beautiful Belgium Shepherd cross pup is 1 of 6 that were dumped when they were just 4 weeks old

Amber old and was brought to us after she jumped into a ladies car in Quesada.

Amber is extremely friendly and will give kisses to every­ one she meets. She weighs just 5 kilos and will make someone a wonderful com­ panion. Call: 645 469 253. www.petsinspain.com

beside the road. They are now around 7 weeks old, all identical and desperate for new homes, there are 3 girls and 3 boys. Call: 645 469 253. www.petsinspain.com

Friday, August 29, 2014

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Friday, August 29, 2014

SUMMERTIME AND THE LIVIN’ IS EASY

As August finally comes to a close, we can look back on those hot summer days and fun evenings. There’s the time spent with family and loved ones and that feel­good emotion that comes over us when we are enjoying every­ thing this beautiful country has to offer.

For those of you keeping up to date on Spain from the UK or other country and planning your winter return, I hope you enjoyed your stay and are heading back with excitement to your Spanish life. I love this country more each year I´m here, and there is nothing that would get me to return for good to the UK. As I love the heat in summer, going back in August would be a definite no for me, but I appreciate we aren´t all fans of mid 30´s temperatures!

So, what do we now have to look forward to? Summer is drawing to a close, albeit a long season, work beckons and it´s soon back to school for our little ones. I am busy planning the return, although my young man isn´t looking forward to it!

He doesn´t like school and so has loved his long summer break, however I will feel a slight relief when he´s back with his friends! At least he will have company, although this year he´s met the neighbourhood youngsters and has made friends with them, so he hasn´t been so much on his own when his sisters weren´t here. I have got his books all bought and covered; his pencil case is neatly packed in his new bag and soon another chapter will begin!

I think there are three different starts to each year, once in January of course; one when summer starts; and then again

in September when we are looking forward to another school year. My little man is growing up so fast, as every year he gets more and more like a young man and he is definitely not my baby any more. This is of course some­ thing to be celebrated, and although it´s hard when I´ve said goodbye to my girls and see my lit­ tle fella shooting up so quickly. I do know he is just a little man at the moment and I have many more years with him by my side.

As the seasons change, albeit less noticeably than in the UK, we begin to look to the future but it´s important to enjoy every moment, whether we are working or relaxing. We must find time for ourselves, our families and friends, and not rush into looking forward and forget to live the here and now.

Planning aside, I hope you all enjoy what´s left of your holi­ days and those of you who are retired, I hope you enjoy every day, smell every flower and see the beauty in this fan­ tastic world. Be grateful for what you have, as this world is too full of evil to not give thanks for being who you are, and time flies so fast that it would be a shame not to enjoy every day you are here. I hope those of you in work are doing a job you love, and I hope those of you who are parents or grand­ parents take a moment out of every day to let those little peo­ ple you love know just how much you care for them.

It´s hard being a single parent as all of you out there in the same situation can testify, but it´s not impossible. There are a few of us coping and juggling every­ thing around to make our family as com­ fortable as possible. My language school is going from strength to strength and this year I hope to wel­ come even more new students. The majority are Spanish people wanting to learn English, but of course I have my English students leading the way with their Spanish lessons as well. The Spanish are beginning to realize that it is important to have a good level of English and so I am keeping busy. The majority of my stu­ dents come through recommendations which pleases me and hopefully shows I´m doing something right, and that the pass rate of my students is a tangible sign of my great stu­ dents and all their hard work. At least with my son having his little friends, I won´t need to worry so much for him being on his own whilst I´m working downstairs and as I arrange my time better, I will maybe be able to be with him a bit more this year. However time will tell and once I have planned all my lessons I can relax a bit until they start.

So let´s get on with the last part of the year and enjoy it, taking time for a coffee with a friend, popping into a charity shop or two and showing your support and living every day.

Don’t just survive!

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Friday, August 29, 2014

LESSONS NOT LEARNT

The state of the world can really get you worried these days, yet I suspect more people are interested in a football match or a reality TV show.

It‘s time to wake up! In the old days of the Cold War, we knew where the bogeyman was based (Moscow) and that the Great Russian Bear

would occasionally tickle the arm pits of Uncle Sam and vice­versa, but short of the Cuba missile crisis in 1962, sense would normally pre­ vail. Now look at the prob­ lems we have. Western rela­ tions with Russia are worse than they were in the later stages of the Cold War, after their disgraceful behaviour

in the Ukraine. Libya has descended into chaos after the ousting of Gadafi and it’s the same for Egypt after the overthrow of Mubarak, and the army refusing to recog­ nise a democratic election.

Most of Northern Africa is unstable, whilst we have the same old problems involving Israel and the Palestinians

(with horrid scenes in Gaza), as well as a shambles in Iraq and all kinds of ghastly things going on in Syria. To top it all, feeding off the problems in Syria and Iraq, we have the nasty Islamic State militants trying to take over large parts of those countries in a way that make the old Al Qaeda crew look like rank amateurs.

This is the poisonous divi­ dend of the illegal invasion of Iraq by Bush and Blair some 11 years ago, where no proper thought was given to having a wide­ranging democratic government that would keep all the different groups happy (with identical problems elsewhere in places like Libya). And the other serious consequence is that the illegal action by the West in 2003 has taken away the chance of taking proper co­ordinated military measures in cases which are justified, like fighting the extremists of IS. A grand coalition of Middle East states backed by the West

and the United Nations to take on IS will never happen because of past mistakes, and now we are told by Western politicians that these fanatics (who must have read a very different version of the Koran from anybody else) could be around for a generation to cause chaos. It’s frightening stuff and the utter lack of a proper co­ordinated world­

wide response makes me very worried. Be it the Islamic State with their bru­ tal treatment of helpless civilians or the merciless killings of Palestinians in Gaza, I’m shocked by what this world of ours is becom­ ing.

Have we learnt absolutely nothing from his­ tory and the consequences of sitting back and turning a blind eye?

REGISTERING YOUR VEHICLE IN SPAIN. SPANISH LICENSE PLATES AND REGISTRATION DOCUMENT. Registering a non­Spanish vehicle in Spain is a complex and potentially costly procedure.

However, you may be exempt from Spanish registration tax by getting Spanish number plates within one month of entering the country. But to do this, you need to become a res­ ident. Linea Directa has been insuring expat drivers in Spain for over a decade and under­ stands all the steps involved. Below we outline this process.

STEP 1: OBTAINING A CERTIFICATE OF CONFORMITY This is a statement by the car’s manufacturer that it conforms to EU regulations. You will need the car’s chassis number to complete this straightforward process online at www.eurococ.eu/en/certificate_of_conformity. The charges for this service will vary according to type of vehicle, make and country of 1st registration.

STEP 2: CURRENT LOG BOOK The vehicle’s original log book showing your name as the owner, the vehicles age and a valid UK address. You will also need the bill of sale for the car.

STEP 3: RESIDENCY IN SPAIN The Spanish residency certificate (Certificado de Empadronamiento) is your official proof of residency in Spain. Your local town hall can provide you with this document. You will need to take your passport and proof of Spanish address (rental contract, contract to pur­ chase or property deeds).

STEP 4: OBTAINING A SPANISH MOT CERTIFICATE All vehicles over 4 years old must be roadworthy and clearly display a valid ITV sticker.

The ITV (Vehicle Technical Inspection) must be tested at an authorised centre, just as for an MOT test. You can find out the location of your nearest ITV centre on DGT website (equivalent to the DVLA). You can also call your local centre to make a booking. If the cen­ tre is busy, especially pre­summer, this can save a lot of time. The cost can vary but gen­ erally is around 40€ for petrol­engine cars and 56€ for diesel­engine cars.

Step 5: OBTAINING A SPANISH EQUIVALENT OF A TAX DISC The Spanish Tax Agency can provide your vehicle with a valid “tax disc” for Spain, which must be carried in the car when in use. You will need to complete the relevant form online and pay the amount according to your car’s tax band.

You can carry out all these procedures yourself or you can seek the assistance of an accountant to do this for you.

We hope the information provided in this article is of interest.

If you would like to contact Linea Directa please call 902­123­161 More information on Linea Directa online at www.lineadirecta.com

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Friday, August 29, 2014

CARD TRICK MISSED

Do you feel you are safe while in Britain? Well, there are growing reasons to think we are becoming less and less safe there. Why? Because of the frightening number of illegal immigrants at large in the country.

Despite all the controls, the UK borders are incredibly porous. Illegals are still flooding in. And those who fail immigration checks are not kept in custody and sent back quickly to home coun­ tries. They are let loose and simply disappear, with fig­ ures showing a big rise in the proportion who vanish after failing checks once inside Britain. Less than one in four are subsequently caught ­ meaning they have avoided detection while still inside the country. The wor­ rying statistics come after it was revealed that one in five travellers is not counted in and out of the UK against criminal and terror checks because of IT failures and management blunders, which mean 20million pas­ sengers escape full screen­ ing every year. Keith Vaz, the chairman of the Commons home affairs select committee said the figures are a 'real concern' considering the worsening 'security situation' at UK bor­ ders. Real concern? I think it is a national disaster and something that´s extremely worrying considering the ever­growing threat coming from Islamic extremists.

What a shame it was that the national identity card was shelved, as everyone should carry them providing fingerprint, iris and photo­ graphic recognition. If it was the law to carry cards and show them on demand, it would make the job of find­ ing illegal immigrants far easier. It would make Britain a safer place to live in and visit and of course people

who have nothing to hide would have nothing to fear from carrying identity cards.

Marvellous things elec­ tions. It exercises the minds of politicians to try to find out (and promise) what people actually want them to do. Perhaps we should have elections every two years.

Just imagine all the goodies which would come out of the bag. Anyway, what has prompted this is the news that the UK government has given guidelines to hospitals in England which would cut the cost of car parking for many thousands of people.

Wonderful ­ years too late, but none the less very wel­ come. Sadly, the govern­ ment hasn´t gone the whole hog and abolished car park­ ing charges altogether; it´s only a small step in the right direction and is not manda­

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tory on hospitals. In my book, hospital car park charges are a tax on the sick and should never have been introduced in the first place.

The government has asked that people staying in hospi­ tal for a long time should be given free parking or

reduced charges, but con­ cessions should also be offered to people with dis­ abilities together with NHS staff whose shift patterns meant they could not use public transport. The guide­ lines also recommend hospi­ tals should use "pay­on­exit" schemes, so motorists pay only for the time they use in a hospital car park rather than second­guess how long they will be. And they say trusts should waive fines if a visitor or patient overstays through no fault of their own, for example because treat­ ment took longer than planned, or when staff have to work beyond their sched­ uled shift. Labour, of course, say the charges should end.

That´s great, except that hospital trusts have come to rely on the car parking charges to aid over­ stretched hospital funds. It´s

all very well for Labour to promise to end charges, but where is the money going to come from? Hospitals rely on the 250 million pounds a year milched from motorists, and if the government foots the bill, it will raise the national debt, already rising

by several thousand pounds a second. We´ve got a few months yet before the next election, so expect to hear of other plans to make life bet­ ter for voters. Sadly many will be pipe­dream promises which just won´t be fulfilled by any party once in office.

However, we´re not likely to see any extra tax on fuel before the election and I wouldn´t mind betting the government will reduce the much heralded 3.5% increase in rail fares due next year. Watch out for other give­aways, every one of which will have to be paid for by some tax or other.

Bear in mind politicians have a lifetime of experience in creeping up on you by stealth!

More and more women in their late 20s and 30s are submitting them­

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selves to 'torture'. They lie for ages, their faces contort­ ed in pain as a practitioner uses a laser on her with a smell of burning as she works. What´s happening?

More and more women are going through all this pain to rid themselves of the results

of the stupidity of youth. The stupidity? Getting tattooed.

In my youth, tattoos were restricted to sailors and were viewed as something that only the lowest classes were attracted to. In those days, men got themselves cov­ ered with tattoos to make themselves so repulsive as to be unemployable. Then, sadly, they became fashion­ able, the more sensible hav­ ing a discreet butterfly or whatever in places not seen by anyone else except dur­ ing a time of passion. Of course, teenagers being teenagers, many went OTT, no doubt spurred on by the likes of heroes like Beckham. But now an increasing number of peo­ ple, especially women, are going to clinics to get them removed. Why? Because as they climb through the social ladder they find in your face tattoos highly embarrassing, holding them back from pro­ motion in careers. People are increasingly finding that having tattoos is a consider­ able disadvan­ tage getting a job in the first place. The body art "industry" is trying to get legislation to stop tattoo dis­ crimination, giv­ ing a tattooed person equal rights to employment as a non­tattooed person. I hope it doesn't happen. We have far too much protection for minorities who take advantage of their special benefit. I can fully under­ stand an employer not want­ ing to employ a ridiculously tattooed person, particularly if that person is representing the company as a sales­per­ son or behind the counter in a shop, for example. An employer has, in my book, every right to choose who represents him.

Pulling in the other direc­ tion is a 34­year­old from Birmingham who changed his name by deed poll to

King of Ink Land King Body Art The Extreme Ink­Ite (pre­ viously Mathew Whelan). He describes himself as the UK's most tattooed man and has led a campaign to pro­ tect the employment status of people with body modifi­ cations. He´s a property entrepreneur and Liberal Democrat activist in Birmingham, who has per­ sonally lobbied ministers Lynne Featherstone, Jo Swinson and Ed Davey in favour of a level playing field for those with tattoos. "If someone can do a job, they should be equal with the next person who has the same CV," he says.

“Tattoos are more than simply a lifestyle choice”, he argues. “They are an expression of someone's identity just as much as their religion or other beliefs.”

Well, I hope his kind of stu­ pidity never catches on. Just imagine in our dotage, in a nursing home, waking up and seeing that beside your bed. Enough to give you a heart attack on the spot. The answer, if you want to climb the career ladder – don’t have tattoos and save your­ self a lot of money for some­ thing far more worthwhile and a lot of pain in getting them removed when you´ve grown up and got more sense.

Hats off to Orihuela council for a world first, providing beach lockers at La Glea beach, Campoamor. It means you can securely lock your cash, purse, car keys, mobile phone, etc., in a locker while you´re swimming, instead of worrying whether they will still be where you left them on the sand. A few years ago we fell asleep on the beach and when I woke up, my shorts had been stolen. In the pockets was a small amount of cash and my car keys. The thief used the key fob to identify the right car, opened and searched it but found nothing. This "consid­ erate" thief left my shorts and the keys in the unlocked car. Hopefully all councils will soon follow Orihuela council’s lead and provide these lockers. It´s a great idea.

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Friday, August 29, 2014

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Friday, August 29, 2014

SAY IT IN SPANISH Learn the lingo - with a little help from JEANETTE ERATH Spanish 137 Here we are again, learning Spanish with all its forms it can be tricky to get a grip of but stick with it and you´ll soon be chatting with confidence. Use your Spanish as often as you can and you´ll soon find yourself talking without even thinking, but you have to be using it otherwise it will be very diffi­ cult to improve.

Here are the answers to last week´s homework, remember we were in the sub­ junctive which is the mood form, when we feel something or aren´t sure of something we use it, also remember the phrases that we learnt a few weeks ago to tell us when to use the subjunctive or the indicative, nor­ mally after the words for ´maybe´ we will use the subjunctive as it shows uncertainty, but most of all listen to how the Spanish talk and pick up on when they use it. There is no substitute for real life situations and no excuse for not being able to find a Spanish area if you are living here in Spain, even if it means moving off your urb. or slightly out of your area.

Exercise A. Fill in the blank with the present form of sub­ junctive using the verb in brackets (**not all sentences will require the subjunctive).1. Es importante que ustedes __sepan___ [saber] el vocabulario. 2. No creo que el libro de texto ___explique__ [explicar] bien el subjunti­ vo. 3. Tememos que nuestros rivales ___salgan___ [salir] mejor que nosotros en la competición. 4. Es cierto que el subjuntivo __es__ [ser] difícil. 5. No dudo que Uds. __tienen__ [tener] muchos exámenes. 6. ¿Qué pre­ fiere Ud. que yo _lea_ [leer]? 7. ¡No quiero que ___vayas_ [ir ­ tú] sin mí! 8. ¡Qué bueno que ella __busque_ [buscar] oportunidades de practicar el español! 9. Dudamos que él ___pueda_ [poder] haberlo hecho. 10. Le aconsejo que __olvide___ [olvidar] el

asunto. 11. Es cierto que me __duele__ [doler] mucho.

12. La Armada insiste en que ___ nos vistamos__ [vestirse ­ nosotros] así. 13. Espero que ___estés___ [estar ­ tú] conmigo siempre. 14. Pero no es verdad que nunca __haga___ [hacer] frío en México. 15. Espero que __te__ __mejores__ [mejorarse ­ tú] pronto.

1. Hágame el favor de llamarme cuando Ud. __ter­ mine__ [terminar]. 2. Tú y yo _nos divertiríamos____ (divertirse) si __fuéramos__ [ir] al gimnasio. 3. Los dejamos en paz a menos que ustedes. __hagan__ [hacer] demasiado ruido. 4. Mi amiga siempre me llama cuando __vuelve__ [volver] a casa. 5. El profesor quiere que __lleguemos___ [llegar ­ nosotros] antes de que _comience_ [comenzar] la clase. 6. Julia tenía alergias y por eso usaba un jabón que no _tenía_ [tener] perfume.

7. El reportero no encontró nada que ___explicara__

[explicar] la causa del incendio. 8. Yo tenía ganas de comer en un restaurante que __sirviera __ [servir] churros. 9.

Encontramos al chófer que __conocía__ [conocer] las calles bien.

10. Cuando tú ___viniste__ (venir) a visitarme anoche, ya estaba dormida.

How did you get on with the above phrases, don´t get annoyed if you got more wrong than right, it just means you need a bit more time, it´s a long road to learn Spanish and we all need to keep at it and put the hours in, regular reading and practise will have you speaking Spanish proficiently and correctly in no time.

There are many resources to help you improve your Spanish, from numerous books to a lot of internet pages, the key is finding something that interests you and that you can enjoy, there are programmes that help your speech and listening as well as your writing and the majority of you I´m sure are looking to improve in this area more than reading and writing for example.

Next week we are going back to tenses and plenty of revi­ sion and work to get you improving and confident in your new language. Every time you find the going a bit tough just remember all those that aren´t even bothering and how much better you are then those who don´t even try.

I´m looking forward to getting back to my lessons, to see­ ing my students once again improving and getting better, get yourself into a group near where you live to meet other like­ minded people who want to get better and speak Spanish, if any of you are interested in a group send me an e­mail via the courier and I´ll put a list in the paper for anyone nearby who might also be interested, let´s see how many groups we can get started in the South Costa Blanca! ¡Que tengas una buena semana!

Friday, August 29, 2014

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Friday, August 29, 2014

How Can You Boost Your Immune System? have found that the benefi­ cial bugs can cut the dura­ tion of the common cold by nearly a quarter.

Sink your teeth into zinc.

This valuable mineral increases the production of white blood cells that fight infection and helps them fight more aggressively. It also increases killer cells that fight against cancer and helps white cells release more antibodies. Zinc sup­ plements have been shown to slow the growth of cancer.

A word of caution: too much zinc in the form of sup­ plements (more than 75 mil­ ligrams a day) can inhibit immune function. It's safest to stick to getting zinc from your diet and aim for 15 to 25 milligrams a day.

You may not be aware of it, but every day there’s a battle raging inside your body as it is under con­ stant attack from danger­ ous free radicals and for­ eign invaders like bacteria and viruses. What keeps ill health at bay is a strong immune system.

Your immune system con­ sists of various antibodies, each with a special protec­ tive role. These are depend­ ent on good nutrition and a supportive lifestyle.

However, if your immune system becomes over­ worked or is not nourished properly, it gives up the fight and surrenders to the bad guys. Once this happens,

not only will you be ill fre­ quently, but you will also take a long time to recover from whatever has made you ill.

What can you do to give your immune system that extra boost? Here are a few suggestions: Step up your intake of ‘ACE’. Vitamins A, C and E have the power to boost the immune system and limit the damage done by free radi­ cals — unstable molecules produced by the body. They can trigger degenerative conditions, like heart dis­ ease and cancers.

Free radicals, also known simply as radicals, are organic molecules responsi­

ble for aging, tissue damage, and possibly some diseases.

These molecules are very unstable, therefore they look to bond with other mole­ cules, destroying their vigor and perpetuating the detri­ mental process.

Antioxidants, present in vita­ mins A, C and E, are mole­ cules that prevent free radi­ cals from harming healthy tissue.

Befriend friendly bacte­ ria. Probiotics, ‘friendly bac­ teria’ added to yogurt drinks and also available in supple­ ment form, could boost your immune system. It appears that probiotics help to acti­ vate certain cells in the immune system, and studies

Exercise regularly. A healthy amount of energy is a great boost to your immune system — half an hour of brisk walking, five days a week, is all it takes.

Exercise is also a great stress buster, and stress puts a real dampener on your immunity.

Just don’t overdo the exer­ cise. ‘Overtraining’, actually suppresses the immune sys­ tem. If your workouts are too long, too intense or you don’t allow yourself enough rest in between, you’ll leave your­ self more vulnerable to ill­ ness.

Get a full night's sleep.

Everybody's different: your body may need anywhere from 6 to 10 hours of sleep each night. Whatever your

personal sleep requirement is, get it! Sleep has been linked to balanced hormone levels (including human growth hormone and the stress hormone, cortisol), keeping weight down, clear thinking and reasoning, improved mood, and vibrant, healthy skin.

Avoid these enemies.

Your immune system has many enemies — try to avoid: Stress Pollution Cigarette smoke Food contaminants such as pesticides Too little, or too much, exer­ cise Obesity Crash dieting Poor nutrition

Respiratory Infections and Cough DR MACHI MANNU’S ADVICE CLINIC Email your questions and comments to contact@medb.es

Coughing is the body´s way of removing irritants and foreign bodies from the res­ piratory passages. Coughs are common symptoms of respiratory disorders such as asthma, bronchitis, emphysema and respiratory infections. Coughs are also caused by many prescription drugs, especially those used to lower blood pressure and cholesterol.

Respiratory infections are more fre­ quently caused by viruses such as the influenza or flu virus than by bacteria, which usually invade the body after viruses have taken hold.

Judging from the diagnostic scans performed at our clinic MedB, the commonest microbes detected from peo­ ple complaining of respirato­ ry problems are the virus ­ adenovirus, and bacteria – streptococcus and staphylo­ coccus. These microbes are normally found in all organs of the respiratory system – pharynx, larynx, and tra­ chea, and lung tissue, but can also be present in sur­ rounding organs where they may also cause serious

problems.

Interestingly, microbes such as strepto­ coccus are found all around us, in the air we breathe, the food we eat, even on the surface of the skin: however such microbes are unable to attack a healthy body, and only cause problems when the immune system because weakened. For this reason they are known as oppor­ tunistic microbes. As long as our immune system is func­ tioning well, these microbes stand no chance of invading the body. But in today´s world, our immune system is perpetually under stress from contaminated foods, electromagnetic pollution and the everyday stress of living, and these take enor­

mous toll on our immune system.

The diagnostic scan analysis from MedB also show that most people with chronic cough have higher than normal levels of heavy metals ­ mercury, lead, cadmium – present in their respiratory organs. The best protection against res­ piratory infections and flu is a well­balanced immune system, and this can be achieved with the help of the natural agent: Colostrum.

Detoxing the body to elimi­ nate toxins is also very help­ ful.

FOR A FULL BODY DIAGNOSTIC SCAN CALL DR MACHI MANNU: 965071745

Friday, August 29, 2014

SYMPTOMS OF HEARING LOSS Written by Michael Burke RHAD MSHAA of Digital Hearing, Quesada

Hearing loss can manifest itself in different ways in different people to different degrees.

It could be that other people comment on your hearing difficulties before you are aware of them. People have said to me: ‘I have been told I am standoffish because I did not say hello – but I just did not know they were there.’ Others have told me: ‘People think I am a bit slow, but I am not; I just did not hear them properly.’ It can cause serious discomfort and may manifest itself in any of the following ways: 1. Social situations – It’s hard to follow the conversation when in a group, at a party or in a restaurant: background noise makes it hard to hear, and you may find yourself starting to avoid social situations. The worst situation is being surrounded by people yet feeling totally alone.

2. People seem to be mumbling – You miss some words, especially at the begin­ ning of a sentence. Quite often you do not realise it is you they are talking to until the first few words have been spoken and then you spend the rest of the conversation trying to catch up.

3. Pretending to understand – You pre­ tend you heard what has been said – shak­ ing or nodding your head and saying ‘yes’ or ‘no’ and just hoping for the best.

4. Mis­hearing – You mis­hear what has been said or make a comment or introduce a topic that the group has just been dis­ cussing.

5. Television – You turn the TV up louder than others feel comfortable with and this can cause tension between family members.

You may find that you still can’t understand the TV or radio even when it has been turned up.

6. Soft sounds – You may find women’s voices more difficult to hear and also chil­

dren, who may seem to be talking very quickly.

7. Telephone – You may find hearing or understanding on the phone difficult, espe­ cially different accents, and prefer other fam­ ily members to deal with calls.

8. Tinnitus – You may experience contin­ uous or intermittent noises, either in one or both ears.

9. Noise intolerance – You may find that you are less tolerant of surrounding noise levels or that some sounds have become really annoying to you.

10. Ear difference – You may find it easier to hear with one ear rather than the other, especially on the telephone.

11. People say you talk too loudly 12. In the car – You may find difficulty car­ rying on a conversation with someone whilst driving, especially if the radio is on or the window is open and even more so if the per­ son you are talking to is in the back seat (or you are in the back seat trying to talk to the driver).

13. The world generally seems to be a lot quieter – Did you hear the cicadas last summer? Do you hear the birds in the morn­ ing?

Reducing frequency and dynamic hearing ranges tend to become a big handicap when the hearing loss interferes with perception and discrimination of human speech sounds, which can lead to isolation, withdrawal and in extreme cases depression.

If you have any questions about this week's topic, you can e­mail digitalhear­ ing@hotmail.co.uk, contact Michael Burke at Digital Hearing, Quesada Business Centre, Calle los Arcos 7, Ciudad Quesada.

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Friday, August 29, 2014

HOW TO FIGHT MENIERE'S DISEASE Q

My wife has had Meniere’s disease for approx. 30 years she is now 72 years of age and during the last 2years she is getting attacks more often and during the last 6months she is having virtually daily attacks and has to spend a lot of time in bed and getting very depressed. We went to our doctor and she did not seem to know what we were talking about we did take an inter­ preter] the tablet she is taking is SERC 16mg X2 three times a day. Is there any way you can help her or know where she can get help.

A

I am so sorry to hear of your wife’s situation. Meniere’s disease is such a troublesome illness. Meniere’s is a disorder of the hearing system characterized by vertigo (spinning sensation), tinnitus (ringing or buzzing in the ear) and deafness. There is no single test for Meniere’s and so it is diagnosed by clinically examination, usually when other ill­ nesses with similar presenting symptoms have been ruled out. Researchers don’t agree on the exact cause of Meniere’s diseases; however what is clear is that it arises due to a malfunction in the labyrinth system of the inner ear.

The labyrinth is made of a series of fluid filled channels that send signals of sound and balance to the brain and Meniere’s occurs when there is an abnormality in the amount and composition of this fluid. Meniere’s can also cause other problems such as nausea, vomiting, irregular heart­beats and depression. There is no drug treatment for Meniere’s, instead doctors treat symptoms as they show­up.

SERC – the medication prescribed for your wife ­ is only used to treat vertigo, which is just one out of many symp­ toms of meniere’s. Even though most researchers are unsure of the cause of Meniere’s disease, current research

and even anecdotal evidence clearly points towards heavy metals, especially mercury as one of the causes of Meniere’s disease. In 2010 Conductor Benjamin Zander of the Boston Philharmonic gave evidence before the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) in the US of how removing his mercury amalgam fillings cured his Meniere’s disease.

Evidence notwithstanding, what we know for sure is that mercury is toxic to the delicate organs of our ears. Even without waiting for conclusive research it makes sense for anyone suffering from Meniere’s disease, a very debilitating disease, to take the steps to remove any mercury fillings they may have. However even the process of removing mer­ cury amalgam exposures the body to a heavy load of mer­ cury which can cause a lot of ill health. And so it’s advisable to detox your body during the same time period you are removing your fillings. It may also be a good idea to see the effect of a mercury detox first, before she removes her amal­ gam fillings, if she has any present. There are other sources of mercury contamination besides amalgam like: environ­ mental toxins, pesticides, insecticides, cosmetics, vaccines, drugs etc. The only substance taken by mouth that has been scientifically proven to eliminate toxins from the body is Pectasol, a natural compound formulated from the inner pulp of citrus fruits. Pectasol binds to heavy metals deep inside cells, and is flushed out of the body through the urine.

Q A

What is your opinion on Prescription Drugs?

Prescription drugs play an extremely important role in therapy. If you follow my articles, you may conclude that I have something against prescription drugs, but that’s absolutely not the case. Prescription drugs have saved my

life on more than one occasion, and I suppose they’ve done the same for a lot of people. The problem in my opinion is that prescription drugs are dished out too readily by doctors even when there are preferable natural alternatives. Granted our knowledge of natural remedy is still in infancy, and a number of illnesses are best treated with prescription drugs, however what is true is that many chronic illnesses can be effectively managed using natural remedies. Illnesses such as Diabetes, High Blood Pressure, Arthritis, Abdominal dis­ orders, auto immune diseases, depression, and many more illnesses can be managed and are managed with natural remedies. There is even growing evidence to prove that can­ cer cells can be destroyed with a number of natural agents.

Yet doctors are not allowed to prescribe such natural reme­ dies even when proven to be better than prescription drugs, to avoid going against medical protocol and losing their jobs.

When you realise that privately owned pharmaceutical com­ panies play a vital role in deciding the goings on in hospitals, you see that clearly there is a conflict of interest, which isn’t in your favour. In most cases, prescription drugs are best suited for emergency health situations and for treating acute disorders, and seem to fail badly when used for longer peri­ ods to treat chronic disorders. Most chronic illnesses have been shown to respond far better with proven natural reme­ dies. Furthermore there is the added benefit that natural therapies are rarely produce horrible side­effects like pre­ scription drugs. Ideally, doctors and therapists should first consider prescribing supplements and natural remedies if possible, before progressing to prescription drugs.

Please email your questions to contact@medb.es or write to the editor

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Friday, August 29, 2014

CHECK OUT A DIFFERENT WORLD!

If you’ve ever fancied dis­ covering the beauty of the world’s seas and oceans,

then how about learning to scuba dive, or perhaps brushing up on your exist­

ing skills? Scubaworld is very much the place to go to. Run by Kees, who is a

PHOENIX RISES

It was with a certain amount of trepidation that the Phoenix International School opened its gates on one morning last week, because the summer wait was over as the students were going to get their exam results, with their future printed on a small piece of paper. They needn´t have worried as the pupils exceeded all expec­ tations with a fantastic set of results!

“We are so proud of our students!” commented Director, Keith Healey. “Our A Level students surpassed themselves with all grade A’s and B’s whilst our GCSE students exploded the National Average figures.

The best results came from

Spanish, English and Geography and the students should feel extremely proud of their hard work and commitment to study.”

“We could not have done it without our dedicated teachers,” Keith added. “We have been through many changes in the last two years and our teachers have staggered us with their loyalty and com­ mitment. The results are a testament to them. This has given us the perfect jumping off point for the new academic year and we are really excited about what we are capable of achieving moving for­ ward.

For more information or to make an appointment to visit, there is more infor­ mation via phoenixinternationalschool.com or phone on 965 720 785. The new term starts this Thursday(September 4th).

master scuba diver train­ er, the centre is based in the La Florida area just south of Torrevieja on the Orihuela Costa, and it offers all kinds of courses for all kinds of levels!

There are a variety of Padi diving courses for begin­ ners and the more experi­ enced, ranging from just a couple of days through to 10 days, with individual and group rates.

Everything will be tailored to individual needs between a long weekend through to a fortnight’s break, with friendly and experienced tuition in some excellent diving areas.

If you want to enjoy scuba diving for the first time, then there are some special “try dive” ses­

sions, moving through to full scale special begin­ ner’s sessions at the Scubaworld Dive Centre.

You’ll try your hand in a pool before having your first open water experi­ ence. There’s even some­ thing for the youngsters starting from eight years called Bubblemaker, where the children oper­ ate in shallow waters under strict supervision!

Ultimately you can end up

with the right certificates that will pretty much allow to scuba dive anywhere in the world, so do make contact with Scubaworld to enjoy a very special experiences that you will want to return to time and again.

You can contact Scubaworld on 0034 667 057 640 or Email: info@divecostablanca.co m

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Friday, August 29, 2014

TIME TO REMEMBER

An early turning point in the Second World War will be remem­ bered with a spe­ cial commemora­ tion service for the Battle of Britain next month.

Organised by the Costa Blanca branch of the Royal Air Forces Association, the special service of thanksgiving will take place at the La Siesta C o m m u n i t y Church, Torrevieja on Monday September 15th, starting at 11.00am.

The special service commemorating the air battle of 1940 is just one of several events organised by RAFA for September, who use Battle of Britain Week as its major fund raising period by bringing the charity’s aims and objectives to the attention of every­ body. The Association tries to get money and resources to help ex­RAF Servicemen both old and young and their families who may be facing hardship As well as seeking financial help for indi­

vidual people, RAFA maintains three ‘Respite Homes’ and three ‘Care Homes’ in the UK and has in the last few years, because of the conflicts in Iraq and Afghanistan, introduced projects that are designed to help those families whose hus­ bands or relatives are away from home fac­ ing dangers.

RAFA can only continue to carry out its work with the support of the public and their generous donations. For more information on the Costa Blanca Branch you can look at the website, www.rafa.com

El Toro Carvery, near Torremendo, is the base for a new project by retired photogra­ pher Carl Eagle, who built his house by the La Pedrera lakeside. The huge lake, with its mountain backdrop, provides some won­ derful views photo opportunities, and that’s inspired Carl to put together a series of Photography Walks.

The walks will officially be launched be on Saturday September 6th, to coincide with a

charity fundraiser at the El Toro Carvery, with Carl on hand during the day to deal with any enquiries from amateur photogra­ phers.

He’ll be able to arrange guided walks for parties of between 10 and 20 people, and individual photographers can join a group on the first Wednesday of each month at a cost of just five euros per head! You can get more information from Carl on 620 060 611

The Ice Bucket Challenge will be hitting the La Marina urbanisation this Wednesday (September 3rd) to raise money for the AECC cancer charity. It’s all part of a mini­ fiesta organised by the Final Whistle and Aloha Bar on the Consum Square, with local councillor Jeff Wiszniewski and Samantha Hull from the San Fulgencio urbanisations office “volunteered” to take a dunking.

The fiesta will run from 6pm until mid­ night with music from the Blues Brothers Tribute band and Richie Alexander. Jeff and Sam will be doused early in the evening but the word is out that they will be nominating three further

people who must also do the challenge on the night, who in turn will name another three victims who will be soaked at the end of the evening. Donations for the charity can already be made at the Final Whistle or Aloha Bar.

EAGLE HAS LANDED

A SAD CASE

The Rojales­based Easy Horse Care Rescue Centre has saved a malnourished mare with a disease that left her so itchy she literally broke off her own tailbone. Local police called centre founders Sue and Rod Weeding to Almoradi, after a Spanish woman found the horse tied to an orange tree and abandoned.

“We responded immediately and were horrified at what we found,” Sue said. “This 15­year­old malnourished mare has melanomas that had become infected through neglect, which triggered an allergic reaction causing intense irritation on any bite, cut or wound.”

The horse, which was clearly left untreat­ ed, had begun to rub and scratch herself everywhere. “The intensity was so great around her tail area that she has actually

broken off her tail bone, we think about a month ago,” Sue said.

Though the wounds looked horrendous, Sue said the mare was not in any pain as the nerve endings around her tailbone had died off and were starting to heal over.

“The good news is she is now on steroids, which will stop the irritation, and antibiotics to treat the infection,” Sue said. “Obviously her tail will never grow back but with good management and lots of care, all her wounds should heal to an acceptable stan­ dard. She is now happily munching good quality food and has settled in very quickly.”

The Easy Horse Care Rescue Centre wel­ comes any donations and sponsorships to help support their work and you get more details, including information on their charity shops at www.easyhorsecare.net.

The Cantabile Female Voice Choir are looking to next year as they are about to start rehearsals for next spring’s perform­ ance of the female version of Gabriel Fauré’s Requiem. They’ll begin their rehearsals on Friday September 5th at La Siesta Church in Torrevieja at 3.00pm, and other works that they’ll be looking at will include Agnus Dei from Fauré’s Messe Basse, and John Williams’s Hymn to the Fallen, but they’ll be also be getting

ready for Christmas with some traditional carols!

Cantabile is a very friendly and sociable group of ladies who take their music seri­ ously and are always looking for new members who would enjoy learning a more classical repertoire of choral works.

Even if you have little or no choral experi­ ence but would like to join them, then you can contact Jennifer on 966 796 866 or E­ mail jen­morton@hotmail.co.uk.

EARLY BIRDS

COLD AS ICE

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Friday, August 29, 2014

GIVING SUPPORT POPPY BOOST

The Torrevieja Stroke Support organisa­ tion is better off to the tune of 1,100 euros thanks to the efforts of the Smile Charity Group. The volunteers presented the cheque to Paul Owen from the Support charity, which organise various trips during the year as well as providing essential sup­ port for stroke patients and their families.

Meanwhile, over 200 people attended the latest Smile music night with Woody & The Peckers, which was boosted by anoth­ er star raffle prize of a Mediterranean Cruise donated by the owner of the venue, El Alto La Dolores Restaurant in Guardamar.

Coming up next month, the Smile team are putting on two performances of their successful Skool Blazers­Flaming St.Trinians show, with all the money raised to be shared between the Benijofar Crisis Appeal and the Alzheimer’s Association.

The somewhat cheeky comedy will be staged at Casa Ventura, San Luis, Torrevieja on Tuesday September 16th and then at The Club in Quesada on Friday September 19th. The tickets cost 10 euros for the show and a meal, and are available from both venues, as well as from The Post Room in Benijofar or The Card Place in Benimar, or by calling 692 866 536.

Over 750 euros was raised at a recent fund­raising barbecue in aid of the Orihuela Costa branch of the Royal British Legion where close to 200 hundred people were entertained by a variety of music for all tastes! The event at the Olympia Restaurant in Mil Palmeras featured teenage singer Rebecca Holt backed up by the local showgroup TAABS(Torrevieja Associatiation of Amateur Balladeer

Singers), both of whom gave their time free of charge. There was also an open­ ing treat from TAABS member, Les Goodacre who performed some Elvis Presley classics. Whilst the evening was all about fun, the money raised through the raffle will be put by the Branch towards the 2014 Poppy Appeal, all of which will be used to support ex­servicemen and their families in Spain.

BARKING BRILLIANT

The animal charity Cruz Azul Murcia will be staging their twice­yearly Walk on the Bark Side dog walk next month in Santiago de la Ribera. The Esplanada de Barnuevo will be the venue to bring along your dog or dogs for a three kilometre walk between 11.00am and 3.00pm on Sunday September 14th. Entry is just five euros with some tapas and entertainment provided to enjoy at the end of the walk along the promenade. Entry forms are available from the Cruz Azul Shop in San Javier(next to Yorkshire Linen) with the phone number being 693 017 616.

BARRY’S PALS BOWL IN

The Paul Cunningham Nurses charity are 1,300 euros better off thanks to some valiant fundraising efforts on behalf of the late Barry Collinson. Barry's friends from the Irish Road bowling community, along with his family, friends and neighbours joined in the campaign and the proceeds were presented to PCN's representative, Beverley, at Bar Sofia in El Raso, Guardamar. Barry died in May, aged 77, after a battle against asbestosis, angina and lung cancer, and is survived by his wife of 51 years, Nell. He spent many years in the Merchant Navy before retiring to Spain in 2004 and taking up the sport of Irish Road Bowling. He really enjoyed playing every week, while Nell enjoyed the social side of the game.

BACK IN BUSINESS

Age Concern, Costa Blanca South is looking for more volunteers as they go full­steam ahead after the summer break. The Age Concern day centre (pictured) in La Siesta, Torrevieja re­opens this Monday(September 1st) and the group need helpers there as well as for their charity shops in Los Montesinos and Torrevieja.

Additionally, Age Concern need volunteers to join their Residential Home Visiting Team and to act as befrienders to elder­ ly and lonely people in the Playa Flamenca, Quesada and Torrevieja areas. If you can help and would like more information on any of these roles, then drop into the Age Concern Centre in La Siesta or phone Age Concern on 966 786 887.

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Friday, August 29, 2014

QUICK RECIPES FOR TWO Italian pork meatballs A simple and rustic Italian recipe with succulent meatballs and spaghetti.

Ingredients 1. 4 pork sausages 2. ½ x 25g pack Marks & Spencer Italian herb mix (or mixture of fresh sage, oregano and rosemary), finely chopped 3. 50g lemon and pepper breadcrumbs 4. 200g spaghetti 5. 2 tbsp olive oil 6. 1 onion, finely chopped 7. 500g tomato pasta sauce (we like Sainsbury’s So Organic Pomodoro) 8. Small bunch of fresh basil, chopped, few leaves reserved 9. 50g feta, crumbled Method 1. Squeeze the meat out of the sausages into a bowl (dis­ card the skins) and combine with the mixed herbs and breadcrumbs. Shape into 8 equal­size balls, place on a plate, then put in the freezer for 5 minutes.

2. Preheat the grill to medium­high. Cook the spaghetti according to the packet instructions, then drain. Meanwhile, heat the oil in a large frying pan and cook the onion for about 5 minutes. Add the meatballs and cook for a further 5 min­ utes, turning frequently, until browned. Stir in the tomato sauce and basil, then simmer for 10 minutes.

3. Tip the cooked spaghetti into a baking dish, then add the meatballs and sauce. Sprinkle over the feta, then grill for 5 minutes. Serve scattered with the reserved basil leaves.

Zatar-stuffed chicken with lemon couscous A simple stuffed chicken dish with citrussy couscous. Try this recipe with flattened pork steaks instead of chicken.

Ingredients 1. 2 free­range skinless chicken breasts 2. 3 tsp zatar spice mix 3. 100g cream cheese 4. 30g plain flour 5. 1 large free­range egg, beaten 6. 100g tub Bart Sea Salt and Cracked Black Pepper 7. Crispy Crumbs 8. 1 tbsp olive oil 9. 170ml chicken stock, hot 10. 110g Lemon and coriander couscous (we like Tesco 11. Lemon and Coriander) 12. 2 tbsp flaked almonds

Method 1. Preheat the oven to 200°C/fan180°C/gas 6. Flatten the chicken breasts between two sheets of cling film with a rolling pin, then mix together the zatar spices and cream cheese. Place half the mixture along the centre of a chicken breast. Bring the edges together to form a parcel, then secure with cocktail sticks. Roll in a dish of flour, dip in a dish of beaten egg, then finally roll in a dish of breadcrumbs.

Repeat with the other chicken breast, then chill them for 5 minutes.

2. Heat a frying pan with the oil. Fry the chicken parcels for 5 minutes or until golden all over, then cook in the oven for 10 minutes until cooked through.

3. Meanwhile, pour the stock over the couscous, then leave for 10 minutes covered with cling film. Remove the cling film and stir in the almonds with a fork. Serve together.

Prawn pad Thai You can make this pad Thai veggie by using sliced firm tofu, fried until golden, in place of the prawns.

Ingredients 1. 2 tbsp groundnut oil 2. 1 large free­range egg, beaten 3. 3 shallots, finely chopped 4. 2 garlic cloves, finely chopped 5. 120g pad Thai sauce 6. 200g raw peeled king prawns 7. 200g Sharwood’s Ready to Wok Thai Noodles 8. 75g unsalted roasted peanuts, chopped 9. Bunch of spring onions, sliced 10. 100g beansprouts 11. Lime wedges to serve 12. Fish sauce to serve (optional) Method 1. Place a wok over a very high heat. When hot, heat half the groundnut oil, then add the beaten egg and stir until scrambled. Remove from the pan and set aside. Heat the remaining oil and cook the shallot and garlic, stirring con­ stantly, for 1 minute. Stir in the pad Thai sauce and the prawns, then cook for another 2 minutes. Stir in the noodles and 50g of the peanuts, along with most of the sliced spring onion and the beansprouts, then cook for 1­2 minutes more.

2. Finally, add the scrambled egg and toss to combine.

Serve the pad Thai in bowls, topped with the remaining peanuts and spring onion, with lime wedges. Add a splash of fish sauce, if you wish.

Butternut squash and sweet potato tortilla This veggie tortilla recipe makes the most of seasonal vegetables. A lovely, warming supper.

Ingredients 1. 350g packet butternut and sweet potato cubes (from Waitrose) 2. 1 onion, finely chopped 3. 1 tbsp olive oil 4. 4 large free­range eggs, beaten 5. 100g vegetarian feta, crumbled 6. Bunch of fresh flatleaf parsley, chopped 7. 3 tbsp toasted pine nuts 8. Green salad to serve Method 1. Preheat the grill to medium­high. Put the butternut and sweet potato cubes in a pan of boiling water and simmer for 5­6 minutes until tender, then drain.

2. Meanwhile, cook the onion in the olive oil over a medi­ um heat in a small frying pan for 5­10 minutes until tender.

Add the butternut and sweet potato cubes, turn the heat to medium­high and cook for 2 minutes until they turn lightly golden. Pour in the beaten eggs, feta, parsley and pine nuts and cook for 5­10 minutes until the underside of the tortilla is golden brown (use a spatula to lift the edge to check).

3. Place under the grill and cook for 5­10 minutes until the tortilla is fully set and the top is golden. Invert onto a chop­ ping board, cut into wedges and serve with a green salad.

Baked beef and mushroom cannelloni This hearty pasta recipe serves two generously. There's enough for leftovers, if you can stop yourself tucking into the remainders.

Ingredients 1. 1 tbsp olive oil 2. 1 onion, finely chopped 3. 150g mushrooms, sliced 4. 400g beef mince 5. 150ml beef stock 6. 8g dried porcini mush­ rooms, soaked for 20 min­ utes in 100ml boiling water, drained and chopped (water retained) 7. 2 tsp tomato purée 8. 4 fresh lasagne sheets (roughly 14cm x 30cm) 9. 350g cheese sauce (we like Tesco Finest Four 10. Cheese Sauce) 11. 100g tomato salsa 12. 15g Parmesan, grated Method 1. Preheat the oven to 200°C/fan180°C/gas 6. Heat the oil in a frying pan and cook the onion for 5 minutes until soft­

Friday, August 29, 2014 ened. Add the sliced mush­ rooms, then cook for 5 min­ utes more. Stir in the mince and cook for another 5 min­ utes, breaking up with a spoon. Turn up the heat, add the stock, the porcini mush­ rooms and their water, and the tomato purée. Cook for 5­10 minutes until the liquid has evaporated. Set aside.

2. Blanch the lasagne sheets for 2­3 minutes in boiling water. Place on a work surface, spoon a quar­ ter of the mince crossways along the centre of each sheet, then roll up. Spoon a little cheese sauce into a baking dish big enough to fit the cannelloni snugly. Add the 4 pasta tubes, pour over the tomato salsa and top with the remaining cheese sauce. Scatter over the Parmesan and bake for 10­ 15 minutes until bubbling.

Steak Burritos Here’s a burrito inspired

by San Francisco’s super burritos that come packed with meat, beans, rice, gua­ camole and salsa.

Ingredients 1. 1/4 cup prepared fresh salsa 2. 1/4 cup water 3. 2 tablespoons instant brown rice 4. 3/4 cup canned black beans, preferably low­sodi­ um, rinsed 5. 6 ounces strip steak, trimmed and thinly sliced crosswise 6. 1/8 teaspoon freshly ground pepper 7. 1 1/2 teaspoons canola oil 8. 2 8­inch tortillas, prefer­ ably whole­wheat 9. 1/4 cup shredded sharp Cheddar cheese 10. 2 tablespoons pre­ pared guacamole 11. 1 tablespoon coarsely chopped fresh cilantro Method 1. Combine salsa and water in a small saucepan;

bring to a boil. Stir in rice, reduce heat to a simmer, cover and cook for 5 min­ utes. Stir in beans, return to a simmer and cook, uncov­ ered, stirring occasionally, until the rice is tender and most of the liquid is absorbed, about 5 minutes more.

2. Meanwhile, sprinkle steak with pepper. Heat oil in a medium skillet over medi­ um­high heat. Add steak and cook, stirring occasionally, until browned and cooked through, 3 to 5 minutes.

3. To assemble, divide the steak among the tortillas and top with equal amounts of cheese, guacamole, cilantro and the rice mixture. Roll each tortilla up into a burrito.

Marmalade Chicken Orange marmalade and freshly grated orange zest make a deliciously tangy sauce for quick­cooking chicken tenders. Serve with brown rice.

Ingredients 1. 1/2 cup reduced­sodi­ um chicken broth 2. 1 tablespoon red­wine vinegar

3. 1 tablespoon orange marmalade 4. 1/2 teaspoon Dijon mustard 5. 1/2 teaspoon corn­ starch 6. 8 ounces chicken ten­ ders 7. 1/4 teaspoon kosher salt 8. 1/8 teaspoon freshly ground pepper 9. 1 tablespoon extra­vir­ gin olive oil, divided 10. 1 large shallot, minced 11. 1/2 teaspoon freshly grated orange zest Method 1. Whisk broth, vinegar, marmalade, mustard and cornstarch in a medium bowl.

2. Sprinkle chicken with salt and pepper. Heat 2 tea­ spoons oil in a large skillet over medium­high heat. Add the chicken and cook until golden, about 2 minutes per side. Transfer to a plate and cover with foil to keep warm.

3. Add the remaining 1 teaspoon oil and shallot to the pan and cook, stirring often, until beginning to brown, about 30 seconds.

Whisk the broth mixture and add it to the pan. Bring to a simmer, scraping up any browned bits. Reduce heat to maintain a simmer; cook until the sauce is slightly reduced and thickened, 30 seconds to 2 minutes. Add the chicken; return to a sim­ mer. Cook, turning once, until the chicken is heated through, about 1 minute.

Remove from the heat and stir in orange zest.

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Friday, August 29, 2014

SPANISH NEWS

ROYAL ROLLICKING Spanish authori­ ties have apologized to King Mohammed VI of Morocco after the Guardia Civil stopped him while he was travelling by boat with his entourage in waters commonly used by human traffickers and drug smugglers.

The incident hap­ pened at the start of the months when King Mohamed was enjoying a summer break off the coast of Spain’s African enclave of Ceuta when the Guardia spotted his two speed boats and three jet skis. In recent years, human traf­ ficking mafias and drug smugglers have employed both types of vessels to carry out their illegal trade without being caught, spurring the coastal guard to take action.

According to the El Mundo newspaper, officers ordered the vessels to stop and then proceeded to ask their occupants to identify themselves. “Do you not know who I am?” shouted out Mohamed VI while sporting a cap and sunglasses. The officers’ initial response was “no” but as soon as he removed his head gear one of them was able to recognize him.

No more questions were asked by the men but King Mohammed was quick to call his Spanish counterpart, the newly pro­ claimed King Felipe (pictured together), to

express his anger over the matter. The Spanish royal, who according to the coun­ try’s Royal House “has a very good relation­ ship with Mohammed VI”, then contacted Interior Minister Jorge Fernández Díaz to come up with a suitable apology. Fernández ordered his government delegate in Ceuta to send three high­command Civil Guards to head out to the royal speed boat as quickly as possible.

They apologized profusely to the Moroccan monarch, who shook their hands and stated the officers “had done their job perfectly” but that he “hadn't been respect­ ed”. El Mundo quoted diplomatic sources as saying the massive influx in clandestine immigration in the days following the incident (over 1,000 sub­Saharan Africans arriving in neighbouring Melilla in just two days) may have been a direct result of relaxed border control while King Mohammed was still at sea.

WHEN ANGELA MET MARIANO

German Chancellor Angela Merkel was gushing with loads of praise for the Madrid government on her visit to Spain earlier this week, claiming that relations between Germany and Spain as "strong" and "close". On a visit to the northern city of Santiago de Compostela last Monday, Merkel said that the tough economic measures introduced by Mariano Rajoy’s government were getting results, and that the country ought to feel a "great deal of satisfaction" after figures showing economic growth.

Spain's estimated growth rate was 0.6 percent for the second quarter of 2014 — the country's highest growth rate in six years, and the fourth consecutive rate of growth for a country that was mired in recession.

PAEDO ALERT

Parents are living in fear in a Madrid dis­ trict where a young girl was kidnapped at the end of last week. It’s the latest incident after other girls were taken and sexually­abused earlier this year by the same known pae­ dophile.

A little girl whose family are from the Dominican Republic but who has a Spanish passport was snatched from a children's park in the Ciudad Lineal district last Friday (August 22nd). She was found several hours later in the San Blas neighbourhood of the city on an abandoned stretch of wasteland.

Police said that the kidnapper is the same person who targeted two other small girls in the spring, and people want to know why the man is still on the loose.

A nine­year­old girl was abducted in Ciudad Lineal in April, and was found in a disoriented state five hours later at the entrance a metro station. On the same day, a young Japanese girl suffered an attempted kidnap by the same man, but managed to get away. A six year old Chinese girl was

snatched from Ciudad Lineal in June and found four hours later. Like the youngster two months earlier, she had been drugged and was still wet from having been bathed, probably in an attempt by the kidnapper to wash away DNA evidence that might incrim­ inate him.

The youngster from the Dominican Republic did not appear to have been drugged or showered, and it seems she was not taken to a flat in the city like the others, but it is thought she had been sexually­ abused. Kiosk workers in the children's parks where the girls were abducted say that since the latest incident, the crowds of par­ ents with their little ones who used to be seen there every day have disappeared and at most, one a day will turn up.

Worried inhabitants say the Ciudad Lineal district has always been a very quiet, safe area populated by 'normal, decent people', but that the incidents of the last few months have left them terrified – especially if they have children.

PATRICIA LEADS THE WAY

A former Miss Spain, who won the title twice back in 2008 and last year, has been praised for becoming the first openly lesbian national beau­ ty queen. Patricia Yurena Rodriguez “came out” after she posted an intimate photograph of her­ self and her girlfriend, singer and DJ Vanesa Cortes on Instagram. Rodriguez shared the image with her followers alongside the caption “Romeo and Juliet”. The 24­year old model Merkel also lauded the efforts of the govern­ reportedly told La Opinion de Tenerife that she ment for “carrying out tough reforms to deal had no problems about her decision to come out publicly. “I don't regret what I did and I did it with a difficult situation”.

In turn, Mariano Rajoy said that it was not because I am happy about what's going on in the time to give up on austerity policies and my life,” she explained. Rodriguez came sec­ that tough reforms had to be carried out. ond in last year’s Miss Universe competition, “The European Union needed to continue its which was held in Moscow despite widespread push towards greater fiscal union”, he pressure to relocate the competition due to Russia’s anti­gay laws. added.

Friday, August 29, 2014

SPANISH NEWS

29

OLD WANTS NEW TERROR ALERT

The town with the oldest population in Spain, with an average age of 75, is trying to attract new (younger) residents, by selling plots of land for bargain prices. For the small fee of just 200 euros you could be the owner of a 60 square metre plot in Olmeda de la Cuesta, situated 100 miles east of Madrid.

The only condition is that you build a house or business on the land within 30 months.

The biggest plot, of 205 square metres, costs 1,300 euros.

The mayor, José Luis Regacho, is doing his best to stop the village turning into yet another ghost town, like the many which lit­ ter Spain’s beautiful countryside. Olmeda de la Cuesta was once a thriving village of 500, yet today it has just 15 permanent residents, with the remaining 20 visiting at weekends or for holidays. "The village is practically empty," said Regacho, who at 47 years old is one of the youngest residents. Even he doesn't spend all year here– his time is split between the village and his job in the city of Cuenca, some 30 miles away.

The village has a church, a medical clinic that is staffed once a week and a bar. The local school closed 40 years ago, due to a

lack of students. "That killed the village," says Regacho. The regional government requires a minimum of 11 students to reopen the school. "It takes a lot to build a village," the mayor muses. "Destroying it is much easier." The mayor says there has been interest from buyers in Argentina, Mexico, the US and Russia. He tells all of them the same thing; "I don't want to trick anyone.

This isn't a place where people can move and expect to find a job. There are really no work opportunities here. It would be perfect for people who want a quiet place to relax or to get away from daily life. Or a writer who wants a quiet place to work or an artisan who wants a place to make and store products."

Across Spain, thousands of communities like Olmeda de la Cuesta struggle to stave off extinction, with many of them getting cre­ ative – from Castelnou's offer of cheap hous­ ing, free land, tax exemptions and even babysitters to prospective residents to the tour for "sexually active women" organised last month by a group of bachelors in Castellbò, in hopes of charming a few of them to stay and help them repopulate the village.

FLIGHT OF TERROR

Spain's civil aviation authorities are to investigate an incident involving a Ryanair flight from Dublin in June which saw five peo­ ple injured during heavy turbulence. The air­ line will be investigated over the drama which saw the aircraft reportedly dip at a 60­degree angle, throwing bags and belongings around the cabin after it was hit by turbulence while landing at Reus airport. The Irish daily, The Journal, at the time quoted witnesses as say­ ing passengers hit the ceiling when they were "catapulted from their seats".

Spain’s security forces are on red­alert after detecting the presence of 30 Spanish nationals currently in Syria in 'training' to carry out fundamentalist Islamic terror attacks upon their return. Concerns have been heightened in the West after 40­year­ old US reporter James Foley, who was kid­ napped by the extremist Islamic State in 2012, was videoed being beheaded by a man thought to be from London.

Spain's interior ministry has warned that they may have one of the highest numbers of fundamentalist terrorists in Europe. So far this year, Spanish forces have arrested 31

people linked to Islamic State organisations, breaking up 'recruitment' networks seeking to take on and train would­be terrorists in Jihad, or Muslim 'Holy War' combat. Many of these have been operating in the Spanish provinces of Ceuta and Melilla on the north­ ern Moroccan coast, just across the water from Cádiz, Gibraltar and Almería. They include two teenage girls, both Spanish nationals of Moroccan descent, aged 14 and 19. Interior minister Jorge Fernández Díaz has entered into talks with Imams, or Muslim community leaders, to enlist their help in the battle against international terrorism.

A Guardia Civil helicopter flying to rescue a mountain climber with a broken ankle crashed last on Sunday, killing all three people in it. The helicopter's blades struck the side of a mountain close to the Picos de Europa range in the north­western province of Leon, with the aircraft then sliding down the rock face. Two Guardia pilots and a member of a mountain res­ cue team died in the accident. A fourth member of the rescue team who had already got out of the helicopter to search for the injured climber sounded the alarm.

Emergency services, including three heli­ copters and an ambulance, were dispatched to the scene and found the bodies of all three men, aged 48, 50 and 56. The cause of the accident is under investigation but Spanish media reported that the area was engulfed in fog at the time.

The injured climber was transported to hospital by another police helicopter.

The Picos de Europa range, although not the highest in Spain, is a favourite among walkers, trekkers and climbers. It is consid­ ered to be one of Europe's most challenging mountain ranges, with changeable weather and treacherous terrain full of chasms and gorges.

CHOPPER TRAGEDY

30

Friday, August 29, 2014

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31

Friday, August 29, 2014

Services

Property

Lifestyle

32

Friday, August 29, 2014

Horoscopes Aries March 21 ­ April 19 Don't be surprised if your inbox fills with email or your phone rings off the hook, Aries. Friends, relatives, and colleagues could have great news and useful infor­ mation. One or more of these messages could inspire you to send a few of your own or even pay some visits. Most of what you learn should be positive and exciting, although some things may be confusing.

Taurus April 20 ­ May 20 Inspiration is the word for today, Taurus.

Your creative talent should blossom and motivate you to work on wonderful ideas.

This could involve music, painting, deco­ rating, or cooking. Relax and have fun with it. Whatever you do, you'll probably be pleased with the results. Feedback from others should be encouraging. Make notes of ideas you don't use today to remember them later.

Gemini May 21 ­ June 20 Today your physical and mental energy should be operating at a very high level, Gemini. You probably won't spend much time inside if you can avoid it. Expect get­ togethers with friends and colleagues, and some stimulating, animated discussions.

You may want to go for a workout. This is a great day to go out in the evening, per­ haps to a concert, play, or movie.

Cancer June 21 ­ July 22 Your intuition is likely to be very keen today, Cancer. Accurate psychic insights could come to you thick and fast. Your imagina­ tion is also strong, and you might come up with ideas to enrich your home, work, or anything else on your mind. Don't be sur­ prised if you seem to know what others will say before they even think of it. Write down any premonitions to verify later.

By Pandora Leo July 23 ­ August 22 Get­togethers with friends or meetings with a group should prove informative and enlightening today, Leo, although some of it may be a bit perplexing. You may have useful information to share, but you'll probably spend as much time lis­ tening as talking. Your friends may have happy news. Don't be surprised if day's end finds you more tightly bonded than before.

Virgo August 23 ­ September 22 Today things could be rather hectic at work, Virgo. You'll probably be very busy and happy with whatever results you pro­ duce. You could tire yourself out, so be sure to take occasional breaks, and cer­ tainly don't forget to eat. Don't be sur­ prised if colleagues pay you a lot of com­ pliments. In the evening, go out to dinner and unwind. You deserve it.

Libra September 23 ­ October 22 Some new information about an interest­ ing field could have you browsing the web and looking through books to learn more, Libra. This could involve law, philosophy, history, or spirituality. You could find so much that you want to take notes or make a lot of photocopies. Don't tire yourself out, and try to keep track of time. You might miss dinner or get to bed very late.

Scorpio October 23 ­ November 21 Today you might learn about new and cre­ ative ways to increase your income, Scorpio, possibly involving technology in some way. So much new information could come your way that you find it hard to keep track of it, so make sure you take note of where you found it so you can consult the source later. Your mind could be going so fast that you need to take a walk to clear your head.

Sagittarius November 22 ­ December 21 Social events could put you in touch with interesting people in intriguing profes­ sions, Sagittarius. You might get involved in some fascinating conversations that provide you with a lot of useful information.

Some of what you hear could be so bizarre that you find it difficult to believe.

New friendships or groups could result from this interaction, so get contact infor­ mation.

Capricorn December 22 ­ January 19 A friend or colleague could recommend some books that you want to read right away, Capricorn. Be sure you take breaks and rest your eyes from time to time to avoid eyestrain and headaches today. It's also important to remember to get out and go for a walk, weather permit­ ting. Your body needs stimulation as much as your mind, and a walk will clear your head

Aquarius January 20 ­ February 18 Today your mind will be quick, insightful, and inspired, Aquarius. Your creative impulses should go a thousand miles an hour and ideas should pop in and out of your head like crazy. Most likely you'll want to drop everything else and write down all your ideas. Make use of this inspiration while you can, as it may come in fits and starts. You could be surprised by what you produce.

Pisces February 19 ­ March 20 Visitors could pop in and out during the day, Pisces, and you'll be in the right frame of mind to enjoy their company. Expect interesting news and stimulating conversa­ tion. At the end of the day, your mind may be going like a house afire, so it might be a good idea to take a walk or get some other form of exercise or else you might not be able to sleep.

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Friday, August 29, 2014

RICHARD CAVENDER

Bluemoon Solutions www.bluemoonsolutions.es

BlueMoon Solutions is the computer and IT services com­ pany on the Costa Blanca, they provide quality computer services at realistic prices and specialise in working with home users and small businesses.

ADVICE: Peter was having problems printing.

Q

Hi Richard, computer working fine small problem when it comes to printing?

I go to print document then up comes a sign PDF Complete document creation optional. Regardless of what I do this stops me printing. What have I done wrong?

Never seen this sign before! Regards Peter.

Richard moved to Spain eight years ago having left his management background behind in the UK and decided to use his IT skills to help home users and small businesses with their PC prob­ lems. Now a relaxed 'computer man' he is out and about in the Spanish sun every day, making house and shop calls and using his vast expe­ rience and qualifications to (usually) sort out the problem there and then. Computers are his hobby as well as his work so don’t be surprised to get an answer to your email in the early hours!

ADVICE: Steve was having a runtime error in Internet Explorer

Q

Hi Richard. I am receiving the following error on my computer, can you help?

Below is the runtime error box.

C:\program files\internet explorer\IEXPLORE.EXE Cheers, Steve

Hi Peter, with regards to your prob­ lem it sounds to me like you have a PDF writer as the default printer, you can check this by going into the control panel (start > control panel > view devices and printers) and check­ ing whether there is a ‘tick’ next to the printer you want to be used, if there is not (as I suspect is the case) then just right hand click the printer in question and choose ‘set as default print­ er’ This should sort out the problem

A

ADVICE: Robert wanted to know whether he could convert his printer to a wireless printer

Q A

I have a Lexmark all in one printer, model X3650, is there an adapter to convert it to Wi­Fi and if so what is the cost.

Hi Robert, no I'm afraid as is the case with most printers, there is no manufac­ turer accessory to make this printer wireless. There are a few things that you could do however.

If you connect the printer to a computer that is, in turn, con­ nected to your home network via a wireless router then the printer can be "shared" from this computer and made avail­ able to other computers in the home. Also you could, alter­ natively, add a wireless print server to the back of your printer and "convert" it into a wireless printer, the downside here however is the cost of the wireless print server (usually over 50 euros) makes the cost of doing it almost equal to buying a new printer with the wireless functionality built in ­ we have wireless printers in the TechShop from just 70 euros.

A

Hi Steve, so that looks like Internet Explorer is crashing. Probably the best place and easiest to start would be to reset Internet Explorer, you can do this by going into Internet Explorer and then clicking on Tools, Internet Options and choosing the Advanced tab. From there you can click on the Reset button to reset Internet Explorer, restart it and see if that makes things better.

Don’t forget you can follow me on twit­ ter @bluemoonspain Alternately why don’t you sign up for my newsletter. You can do this by going to:­ www.bluemoonsolutions.es and fill in the form that is on any page except the front page. office@bluemoonsolutions.es www.bluemoonsolutions.es Mobile: 655 044 970

Office: 902 906 200

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Friday, August 29, 2014

HOW TO CHOOSE THE RIGHT MOTORBIKE HELMET The brain is the most complicated and fragile organ in the human body, so it’s vital to invest in a safe, well­fitting and appropriate helmet.

It may be tempting to put fashion and price ahead of dull attributes like EU safety standards, but you need to consider the whole package when buying a new helmet. Government advice says it will last five years, so it makes sense to choose well.

Chris Sackett, vice­president of Bell Helmets, sums it up nicely when he tells me: “Dress for the crash, not the ride.”

“We always recommend full­face helmets, the more cov­ erage the better. You’re definitely going to have more protec­ tion. Not everyone wants to hear that, a lot of folks out there want to feel the road,” he said.

The first thing to check is that a helmet passes either British or EU safety standards. The easiest way is to look at the SHARP website run by the Department for Transport.

This shows which standards a helmet meets and the results of independent crash tests – every lid gets a star rating from one to five, with higher numbers being safer.

Next up is fit. Even the safest helmet will fail you if it’s so loose that it comes off in a crash – sobering EU research shows that this happens in 12 per cent of accidents.

“If you have improper fit, the helmet’s not going to do the correct job. The helmet’s going to move around a lot, it’s

going to buffet, it’s going to create prob­ lems with fatigue, tension in the neck. You don’t want the helmet rotating around," says Sackett.

“You want it to be snug, almost to the point of being uncomfortable. You only want the skin to move, you don’t want the padding to move against the skin, this would mean the helmet is likely too big. It’s really important to find the helmet that fits your head the best. You’ve got different head shapes around the world, they have anomalies. You could have a lump on one side and not on the other.”

When you try one on in a shop you should keep it on for a few minutes. It may be a bit embarrassing, but it could show up uncomfortable pressure points that aren't immediately obvious.

Another thing to consider is colour and design. A matt black bike with matching leathers and helmet may look pretty cool, but you won't be very visible. And with lots of accidents being caused by drivers pulling out from side roads without spotting oncoming riders, this is well worth considering.

“It’s important from a safety aspect that you pur­ chase something to make you more visible,” says the Bell boss. “Not everyone wants a bright orange hel­ met, but picking something that’s got some contrast allows motorists to see you.”

Once safety, fit and colour are sorted, there are

Lotus working on road-going Elise S Cup R Hardcore Lotus road car to launch next year with race car's 217bhp engine, plus aerodynamically upgraded bodywork and sharper han­ dling Lotus looks set to crown its Elise range with a road­ going version of its Elise S Cup R racer.

The Elise S Cup R was introduced at the Autosport International show in Birmingham back in January.

The test mule, pictured here at the Nürburgring, looks closely related to the Cup R, but with key modifi­ cations which would make it

more suited to road use and, more importantly, road legal in some instances.

Those modifica­ tions include head­ lights, improved cooling, number plates and the removal of the rollcage.

A road­going version of the Elise S Cup R would sit above the Elise S Club Racer as the most focused member of the currently four­strong Elise model range.

The race car uses the same supercharged 1.8­litre

engine with 217bhp and 181lb ft as the Club Racer, a unit likely to be retained in the road car. A six­speed manual gearbox sends drive to the rear wheels in the rac­ ing car.

The major modifications in the Elise S Cup R road car over the Elise S and Elise S Club Racer models comes in the aerodynamic package, as seen in these spy pic­ tures.

The aerodynamic pack­ age includes a front splitter, barge boards, winglets, a rear diffuser, floor exten­ sions and a new rear wing, which combine to produce significant levels of down­ force. Adjustable springs and dampers are another feature of the racer which should make it onto the road car.

Lotus would not comment on the introduction or other­ wise of a Elise S Cup R road car into its range, but the pictures reveal development is at an advanced stage, so a reveal later this year before a launch in 2015 is likely.

The model would join the Lotus range at a more buoy­ ant time for the company.

The firm has just announced its sales were up 31 per cent year­on­year in the first quarter of the current finan­ cial year to return to levels not seen since 2011. Its July sales were also its best sin­ gle­month performance since March 2011.

still a few things to consider: ventilation, for one. In hot weather you need good airflow to keep cool, but you also need to be able to close that off when it’s cold and rainy.

There’s only so much you can do to test this in a shop so reading reviews of your helmet shortlist is a wise move.

They will also be able to tell you how noisy the helmets are, which is a function both of the shape and finish of the prod­ uct, and what bike you ride.

Removable liners are another nice feature to look out for.

As Sackett says, "these can get pretty grimy, especially if you’re riding every day”. Being able to remove it once in a while and pop it in the washing machine could make life on the bike far more pleasant.

You also need to be pragmatic about wet, clammy days, where visors can steam up. The Pinlock anti­fog system is currently very popular and available for a wide range of hel­ mets. If your choice doesn't come pre­fitted with something comparable it may be worth investing a few extra pounds.

Friday, August 29, 2014

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Friday, August 29, 2014

CODE CRACKER Code Cracker is a crossword puzzle with no clues; instead, every letter of the alphabet has been replaced by a number, the same number representing the same letter throughout the puzzle. All you have to do is decide which letter is represented by which number. In this week’s puzzle, 7 represents B and 3 represents C, when these letters have been entered throughout the puzzle, you should have enough information to start guessing words and discovering other letters.

QUICKIE

Across 1 Tap gently (3) 3 Brazilian dance (5,4) 8 Attacks (5) 9 Heading (7) 10 Anger (3) 11 In front (5) 12 Crash into (7) 13 Scarce (6) 15 Doorkeepers (6) 19 Vow (7) 21 Let in (5) 23 Spoil (3) 24 Oblivious (7) 25 Snares (5) 26 Early model (9)

27 Pen for swine (3) Down 1 Possibly (7) 2 Two times (5) 3 Also (7) 4 Choose (6) 5 Make use of (5) 6 Opening (7) 7 Quarrel (5) 14 Alligator pear (7) 16 Surprise (7) 17 Gratify (7) 18 Cure (6) 19 Chubby (5) 20 Adult insect (5) 22 Complains (5)

Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Decent, 4 Tennis, 9 Stature, 10 Tutor, 11 After, 12 Realise, 13 Ale, 14 Rebel, 16 Eager, 18 Son, 19 Gnocchi, 21 Focus, 23 Evict, 24 Narrate, 25 Seethe, 26 Defeat.

Down: 1 Despair, 2 Chant, 3 Neutral, 5 Extra, 6 Nothing, 7 Serve, 8 Depressions, 15 Bromine, 16 Enforce, 17 Respect, 19 Guess, 20 Catch, 22 Chase.

Scribble Pad

DOUBLE CROSS-WORD Solve the Double Cross­Word puzzle using either the standard or cryptic clues, the answers are exactly the same.

CRYTPIC CLUES Across 1 Drug getting one worried after work (6) 5 Game bird that’s a bit like beef? (6) 8 Stick to relationship (4) 9 Couple allowed to join band (8) 10 Demote soldiers in front of emissary (8) 11 Amazed when African leader gets married (4) 12 Shout angrily and the rebate is different (6) 14 Sort of tea found in weather balloons (6) 16 Something in list gone over by site manager (4) 18 On the edge? Potentially alarming anyway (8) 20 Gas? I mean to change antacid (8) 21 World's most populous country is deprived of a double feature in some cases (4) 22 Bird of prey's offal con­ cealed within (6)

23 Sorted out an English county (6) Down 2 It's a pity that the one who is sponsored can get rope so tangled (7) 3 Muddle should end in new deal (5) 4 Note, many ladies sup­ port church cuddle (7) 5 Damaged German pear is one of a bunch (5) 6 Alfresco? Rope in a replacement (4­3) 7 Leather wavered, I hear (5) 13 Neanderthal man aca­ demic uncovers calendar (7) 14 American university found a revised version in a solid condition (7) 15 An Oriental caviar cock­ tail is just plain greed (7) 17 Crown discovered in Nova Scotia rabbit hole (5) 18 Builder's mother and child (5) 19 Subject in dog (5)

STANDARD CLUES Down Across 2 Patron’s beneficiary (7) 1 Narcotic drug (6) 3 Mix up (5) 5 Game bird (6) 4 Hug (7) 8 Close connection (4) 5 Fruit of the vine (5) 9 Jewellery item (8) 6 Outdoors (4­3) 10 Assign to a lower posi­ 7 Leather with a napped tion (8) surface (5) 11 Filled with wonder (4) 13 Annual fact book (7) 12 Reprimand (6) 14 First American college 14 Type of tea (6) (7) 16 Object (4) 15 Extreme greed for mate­ 18 Barely adequate (8) rial wealth (7) 20 Magnesium oxide (8) 17 Jewelled headdress (5) 21 Facial feature (4) 18 Craftsman who works 22 Bird of prey (6) 23 County in the southwest with stone (5) 19 Sustain (5) of England (6) Last weeks Solution Across:1 Socks, 4 Random, 9 Trained, 10 Slaps, 11 Less, 12 Purpose, 13 Rat, 14 Fine, 16 Easy, 18 Pad, 20 Extreme, 21 Bait, 24 Ranks, 25 Chicane, 26 Spends, 27 Sings.

Down:1 Settle, 2 Chaps, 3 Song, 5 Absorbed, 6 Dragons, 7 Master, 8 Adept, 13 Released, 15 Intense, 17 Beards, 18 Peach, 19 Others, 22 Again, 23 Digs.

Wordsearch

The aim of our Word Search puzzle is to find all the 33 words listed below hidden within the puzzle.

Archery

Fencing

Rugby

Athletics

Football

league

Baseball

Golf

Basketball

Gymnastics Skiing

Bowls

Handball

Boxing

Judo

Cycling

Polo

Sailing

Squash Swimming Table tennis Triathlon

Snow­board­ Volleyball ing

Yachting

Softball

SPANISH-ENGLISH CROSSWORD

Improve your Spanish ­ clues in Spanish, answers in English or vice versa.

Across

2 Each (4)

7 Sin (religious) (6)

3 De madera (6)

8 Sastre (6)

4 Cocinas (aparatos) (6)

9 Pope (4)

5 Bookshop (8)

10 Divorciado (8)

6 Dinero (5)

11 Stepbrother (11)

12 Meanwhile (8)

14 Alarm clock (11)

13 Timetable (for trains,

18 Cakes (8)

buses) (7)

19 Foca (4)

15 Lung (6)

20 Present (gift) (6)

16 No Clue

21 Diary (journal) (6)

17 Desnudo (persona)

Down

(5)

1 Relajado (7)

19 Cicatriz (4)

37

Friday, August 29, 2014

Quiz Word

the position of parts of the

Across 5 Federal capital of

body (6) 18 Thoroughfare in cen­

Canada (6) 7 Precious stone consist­

tral London where many

ing of a violet or purple vari­

eminent physicians and sur­

ety of quartz (8)

geons

9 Lace or silk scarf worn

by Spanish women over the

have

consulting

rooms (6,6)

plant with thick leaves with

Stanley (8) 2 Legendary prince of

soothing mucilaginous juice

Denmark, hero of a tragedy

grown widely in tropics and

by Shakespeare (6)

as houseplants (4,4)

3 Herbaceous plant or

14 Mixed drink made of

small shrub of a genus that

wine mixed with a sparkling

comprises the cranesbills

water (8) 16 Rank of non­commis­

and their relatives (8)

21 Long noosed rope

4 Songbird with a strong

sioned officer in the army or

10 Large cage, building

22 Scraping implement

sharply hooked bill, often

air force above corporal (8)

or enclosure for keeping

with a rubber­edged blade

impaling its prey of small

17 Wealthy and fashion­

birds in (6)

set on a handle, typically

birds, lizards, and insects

able people who travel

used for cleaning windows

on thorns, also known as

widely and frequently for

(8)

the 'butcher­bird' (6)

pleasure (3,3)

used to catch animals (6)

head and shoulders (8)

11 Spatula used by artists for

mixing,

applying

or

scraping off oil paints (7,5)

6

23 Room or a set of

Coffee­flavoured

18 Cow that has not

13 Small open­fronted

rooms forming a separate

liqueur based on rum, made

borne a calf or has borne

huts or cubicles from which

residence within a house or

originally in the Caribbean

only one calf (6)

newspapers, refreshments,

block of flats, especially in

(3,5)

tickets, etc are sold (6)

Scotland or the US (8)

15 Band or bundle of

24 Dish of ice cream with

fibrous tissue in a human or

added ingredients such as

animal body that has the

fruit, nuts and syrup (6)

ability to contract, producing

Down 1 Surname of Welsh singer

Cerys,

popular

made from fruit juice and sugar, which is diluted to

(6) English actress, dancer and

8 Mass or line of foam

singer of the 1930s Jessie

formed by waves breaking

and legendary footballer

on a seashore or reef (4) 12 Very short­stemmed

movement in or maintaining

SUDOKU (Easy)

19 Concentrated liquid

7 Largest state of the US

make a drink (6) 20 Small freshwater fish related to the carp, typically living in running water (4)

SALLY’S SIMPLE SPANISH

LOS PAISAJES –SCENERY Match these words with their Spanish translations then find them in the wordsearch.

(Answers below)

el amanecer

la bahía

el bosque

la cascada

el campo

la colina

el horizonte

la costa

el lago

la isla

el mar

la llanura

el prado

la puesta del sol

el puerto

las montañas

el valle

los acantilados

general QUIZ

ANSEWRS 1. Womens Tennis 2. Canoeing 3. Esso 4. M25 5. Phil Collins 6. Mulberry 7. Colour Blind 8. Air Traffic Control 9. The Budget 10. Eight 11. Steeplechase 12. Gin

Last Week’s Solutions Code Cracker Last weeks Quiz Word Solution Across: 1 Glottis, 5 Braises, 9 Relay, 10 Raspberry, 11 Flower Pot, 12 Rabbi, 13 Eremite, 15 Patriot, 17 Vis­à­vis, 19 Samoyed, 21 Casks, 23 Roadsters, 25 Overboard, 26 Roger, 27 Sunbeam, 28 Lawless. Down: 1 Giraffe, 2 Onlookers, 3 Thyme, 4 Scruple, 5 Bus Stop, 6 Arboretum, 7 Shrub, 8 Stylist, 14 Invisible, 16 Ivy League, 17 Vicious, 18 Sarcasm, 19 Scandal, 20 Deserts, 22 Skein, 24 Shrew.

Empareja estas palabras ­ Match the Spanish and English words You will find the answers at the bottom of the quiz.

1.el amanecer, 2.el bosque,

17.las montañas,

k.the countryside, l.the sea,

3.el campo, 4.el horizonte,

18.los acantilados.

m.the cliffs, n.the hill,

5.el lago, 6.el mar, 7.el prado,

o.the waterfall, p.the valley,

8.el puerto, 9.el valle,

a.the coast, b.the lake,

10.la bahía, 11.la cascada,

c.the bay, d.the sunset,

12.la colina, 13.la costa,

e.the horizon, f.the mountains,

14.la isla, 15.la llanura,

g.the woods, h.the island,

16.la puesta del sol,

i.the plains, j.the sunrise,

Suduko

Span ­ Eng

q.the meadow, r.the port.

Quizword

Answers: 1j, 2g, 3k, 4e, 5b, 6l, 7q, 8r, 9p, 10c, 11o, 12n, 13a, 14h, 15i, 16d, 17f, 18m.

1. In Which Sport Would Win The Federation Cup? 2. In Which Sport Do Competitors Make The Liffey Descent?

3. How Is The Company Eastern Seaboard Standard Oil Better Known?

4. How Is The London Orbital Better Known?

5. Who covered the Diana Ross & The Supremes song 'You Can't Hurry Love'' in 1983?

6. What type of leaves does a silkworm feed on?

7. The Ishihara Test Is Used To Determine Whether Or Not Somebody Is What?

8. What do the initials ATC stand for with regard to avi­ ation?

9. In the world of Politics, what was broadcast live on British TV for the first time on the 20th March 1990?

10. How Many Lanes Does An Olympic Standard Swimming Pool Have?

11. Barring rain, during which athletic event would you get wet?

12. Which drink was advertised as 'drunk for a penny; dead drunk for tuppence'?

Word Search

38

Friday, August 29, 2014

TRELI ON THE TELLY REGENERATION GAME WORKS with ALEX TRELINSKI

It was no surprise at all to see Peter Capaldi easily fit­ ting into the latest regener­ ation of Doctor Who as the series bounded back to lift the recent dreary Saturday night TV schedules.

Capaldi is a classy actor who has always left an impression with his different roles over the years, and he gave a bravura performance

that lifted a somewhat light­ weight and occasionally muddled opening story. It’s hard to believe that he’s actu­ ally older than William Hartnell when he became the first Doctor back in 1963, and I loved his patter and dry wit, along with his great expres­ sions. He bonded well with his companion Clara (well

played by Jenna Coleman) and I liked the development over the episode where she was quick to judge the older Time Lord and missed the Matt Smith version of him.

Talking of Matt, there was a nice surprise and emotional cameo towards the end, and we also got the tease of what is likely to be a running

theme of the series, as we got introduced to a character who claims to be the girl­ friend of the Doctor. Capaldi is brilliant in the role (He’s more of my image of the Doctor as opposed to Matt Smith and David Tennant, despite them being top notch), but he needs to be served by some better sto­ ries, which I’m sure we’ll get, kicking off with the return of the Daleks tomorrow night!

q

There’ve been one or two terrible attempts over the years to launch a UK TV courtroom show simi­ lar to that of the great Judge Judy in the States. Anybody remember the awful People’s Court with the equally awful Carol Smillie on ITV back in 2005? There’s one massive key to success and that’s getting a judge with person­ ality, and ITV may well have

cracked it with Judge Robert Rinder. Running every week­ day afternoon, Rinder (who is actually just a barrister) has a one­hour session, and he’s very entertaining. He’s already created a catch­ phrase stating that he can “smell a lie like a fart in a lift”, and this show has real prom­ ise. The problem lies in the constant repetition of materi­ al going into and out of the ad breaks, as well as a laboured section getting reaction from the litigants afterwards.

Judge Judy can deal with up to three cases in 22 minutes, and ITV needs to do these shows in half­hour slots and severely tighten up the edit­ ing. If they do that, they’ve got something that could even work nicely for them in primetime.

q

I was actually a little bit disappointed by last

Friday’s Match of the Day 50th anniversary documen­ tary on BBC1. It fell into the classic trap of having far too many talking heads, and not enough clips, especially from the classic years of the seventies featuring the likes of David Coleman and Jimmy Hill fronting the show. The BBC archives are full of stuff from that decade including Coleman interviewing Brian Clough and Hill laying into referees, but for whatever reason they were not screened. Of even greater concern for me was seeing the great Des Lynam looking as if he was entering a second stage of rigor mortis. I hope he’s OK, or perhaps he’s still recovering from the trauma of defecting to ITV back in 1999?

Friday August 29 00:35 The Hunted 02:05 Holiday Weatherview 02:10 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Neighbourhood Blues 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Animal Saints and Sinners 12:45 Fake Britain 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Perfection 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:30 Hairy Bikers' Meals on Wheels Back on the Road 17:30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 A Question of Sport 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 Scrappers 22:00 Boomers 22:30 Big School 23:00 BBC News 23:25 BBC Regional News and Weather 23:35 Outnumbered 29/08 00:20 BBC2 00:20 Horizon 01:20 Melvyn Bragg's Radical Lives 02:20 This Is BBC Two 07:05 Homes Under the Hammer 08:05 Animal Saints and Sinners

08:50 Animal Park 09:20 Operation Hospital Food 10:05 The Big Allotment Challenge 11:05 First Time on the Front Line 11:35 The Travel Show 12:00 BBC News 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Fred Dibnah's Building of Britain 13:30 Climbing Great Buildings 14:00 Animal Park 14:45 Cash in the Attic 15:15 The Chef's Protege 15:45 Celebrity MasterChef 16:30 Coast 17:15 Britain by Bike 17:45 Great British Railway Journeys 18:15 Flog It! 19:00 Two Tribes 19:30 Eggheads 20:00 Young Vets 21:00 Mastermind 21:30 Sweets Made Simple 22:00 The Great British Bake Off: An Extra Slice 22:30 Gardeners' World 23:00 The Perfect Morecambe & Wise 23:30 Newsnight

00:40 01:30 04:00 04:25 05:15 06:05 07:00 09:30 10:25 11:30 13:30 14:30 14:55 15:00 16:00 16:59 17:00 18:00 19:00 19:30 20:00 20:30 21:00 21:30 22:00 23:00 23:30 23:40

Benidorm Jackpot247 Tonight ITV Nightscreen Britain's Best Bakery The Jeremy Kyle Show Good Morning Britain Lorraine The Jeremy Kyle Show This Morning The Chase ITV News and Weather ITV News Meridian Judge Rinder Secret Dealers ITV Meridian Weather Tipping Point Gift Wrapped ITV News Meridian ITV News and Weather Emmerdale Coronation Street Harbour Lives Coronation Street Doc Martin ITV News at Ten and Weather ITV News Meridian The Invention of Lying

MICKY FLANAGAN: BACK IN THE GAME The cockney comic's sell­out Back in the Game tour was the biggest comedy event of 2013, play­ ing to more than 500,000 people across the UK and Ireland. One of the nation's best­loved stand­ups performs to his home crowd at London's Hackney Empire, regaling his audience with tales of middle age, marriage and a man's prerogative.

00:00 Star Paws: The Rise of Superstar Pets 01:05 Worst Place to Be a Pilot 02:00 One Born Every Minute USA 02:50 The Hoarder Next Door 03:45 Sarah Beeny's Selling Houses 04:40 Time Team Specials 05:35 Gordon Ramsay's Home Cooking 06:05 Deal or No Deal 07:00 Countdown 07:45 3rd Rock from the Sun 08:35 The King of Queens 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 11:00 The Big Bang Theory 12:00 Come Dine with Me 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Come Dine with Me 14:40 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 15:40 Countdown 16:30 Deal or No Deal 17:30 Win It Cook It 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 The Million Pound Drop 22:00 Micky Flanagan: Back in the Game 23:00 The Last Leg 23:50 Virtually Famous

00:00 Celebrity Big Brother's Bit on the Side 01:00 SuperCasino 04:10 The Royals 05:00 Nick's Quest 05:20 Great Artists 05:45 House Doctor 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 08:00 Pip Ahoy!

08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Little Princess 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Cowboy Builders 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Celebrity Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:20 NCIS 16:20 Blind Trust 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 On the Yorkshire Buses 21:00 Marston's Brewery: One Ale of a Job! 22:00 Celebrity Big Brother 23:35 Celebrity Big Brother's Bit on the Side

39

Saturday August 30 Streets 02:35 This Is BBC Two 00:05 Would I Lie to You? 00:35 EastEnders 02:30 Weather for the Week Ahead 02:35 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 11:00 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites 12:30 The Great British Bake Off: An Extra Slice 13:00 BBC News; Weather 13:10 Football Focus 13:50 Saturday Sportsday 14:00 Bargain Hunt 15:00 Escape to the Country 16:00 Youth Olympic Games Highlights 17:00 Final Score 18:10 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 18:30 Pointless Celebrities 19:15 Tumble

07:00 Odette 08:50 Stage Struck 10:25 The Living Planet 11:20 The Living Planet 12:15 Great British Railway Journeys 12:45 Great British Railway Journeys 13:15 Live Rowing 15:15 Talking Pictures 16:00 The Man in the White Suit 17:20 Coast 18:00 Natural World 19:00 Flog It! 20:00 Proms Extra 20:45 Dad's Army 21:15 Ancient Egypt: Life and Death in the Valley of the Kings 22:15 Andrew Marr’s Great Scots: The Writers Who Shaped a Nation 23:15 QI XL

20:30 Doctor Who 21:15 The National Lottery: Break

01:30 Jackpot247 04:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 04:40 ITV Nightscreen 07:00 Pat & Stan 07:25 Dino Dan 07:50 Canimals 08:00 Sooty 08:10 Nerds & Monsters 08:40 Mr Bean: The Animated Series 08:55 Chowder 09:25 ITV News 09:30 Weekend 10:25 The Hungry Sailors 11:25 Murder, She Wrote 12:20 ITV News and Weather 12:29 ITV Meridian Weather 12:30 Columbo 14:25 60 Minute Makeover 15:25 Weekend Escapes with Warwick Davis 16:00 All Star Family Fortunes 17:00 Tipping Point: Lucky Stars 17:55 King Ralph 19:45 ITV News Meridian 19:55 ITV News and Weather 20:00 The Chase 21:00 The X Factor 22:25 Through the Keyhole 23:30 ITV News and Weather 23:44 ITV Meridian Weather 23:45 Parenthood

00:40 Scary Movie 2 02:00 Anna & Katy 02:30 The Inbetweeners USA 02:55 Desperate Housewives 03:35 Revenge 04:20 Sarah Beeny's Selling Houses 05:15 The Hoarder Next Door 06:05 SuperScrimpers 06:10 Deal or No Deal 07:05 The Hoobs 07:30 Trans World Sport 08:25 The Grid 08:55 The Morning Line 09:55 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:50 Frasier 11:50 The Big Bang Theory 13:35 The Simpsons 14:40 Channel 4 Racing 17:10 Come Dine with Me 19:40 Channel 4 News 19:55 Gadget Man 20:25 Sarah Beeny's Double Your House for Half the Money 21:20 Grand Designs 22:25 Lockout

THE X FACTOR

the Safe 22:10 Casualty 23:00 BBC News; Weather 23:20 Match of the Day 30/08 00:00 BBC2 00:00 Weather 00:05 Reading Festival Highlights

The talent extravaganza returns for its 11th series with some important changes ­ Simon Cowell is back on the panel for the first time since 2010, for­ mer guest judge Mel B takes a permanent role on the show and Cheryl Cole has also signed up, but she's now Cheryl Fernandez­Versini following her whirlwind wedding in July. Show stalwart Louis Walsh completes the line­up as the experts search for the nation's next singing sensation.

01:35 The Secret History of Our

00:35 Big Brother: Live from the House 01:15 SuperCasino 04:05 Celebrity Big Brother 05:20 Great Artists 05:45 House Doctor 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Angelina Ballerina 07:30 Bubble Guppies 07:40 The Mr Men Show 07:50 Chloe's Closet 08:05 Roobarb and Custard Too 08:10 Bananas in Pyjamas 08:25 Make Way for Noddy 08:40 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 08:45 City of Friends 09:00 Little Princess 09:10 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:25 Wanda and the Alien 09:40 Rupert Bear 10:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:15 Jelly Jamm 10:30 LazyTown 11:00 Access 11:10 Police Interceptors 13:10 The Burning Hills 15:00 Guns of the Magnificent Seven 17:05 Rio Bravo 20:00 Cricket 2014 20:55 5 News Weekend 21:00 NCIS 22:25 Celebrity Big Brother 23:30 Paddy McGuinness ­ Saturday Night Live

Sunday August 31 31/08 00:00 BBC2 00:45 The Football League Show 02:05 Weather for the Week Ahead 02:10 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 08:35 Match of the Day 10:00 BBC News 11:00 Sunday Morning Live 12:00 Wanted Down Under 12:45 Helicopter Heroes Down Under 13:15 MOTD2 Extra 14:00 BBC News 14:10 Weather for the Week Ahead 14:15 Bargain Hunt 15:00 Best of Homes Under the Hammer 15:30 24 Hours on Earth 16:30 Escape to the Country 17:30 The Great British Bake Off 18:30 Songs of Praise 19:05 Deadly 60 on a Mission 19:35 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 20:00 Nature's Miracle Orphans 21:00 Countryfile 22:00 The Village 23:00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 23:25 Match of the Day 2

00:00 TOTP2 01:00 Marnie 03:05 This Is BBC Two 07:00 Countryfile 08:00 Monty Don's Italian Gardens 09:00 Gardeners' World 09:30 The Beechgrove Garden 10:00 The Football League Show 11:20 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites 12:50 Live Rowing 14:45 Triathlon 17:00 Equestrian 19:00 Flog It! 20:00 Equator 21:00 Dragons' Den 22:00 The Two Amigos: A Gaucho Adventure 23:00 Him & Her 23:30 Starter for 10

02:00 Jackpot247 04:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 04:40 ITV Nightscreen 07:00 Pat & Stan 07:25 Dino Dan 07:50 Canimals 08:00 Sooty 08:10 Nerds & Monsters 08:40 Mr Bean: The Animated Series 08:55 Chowder 09:25 ITV News 09:30 Weekend 10:25 May the Best House Win 11:25 Murder, She Wrote 12:20 ITV News and Weather 12:29 ITV Meridian Weather 12:30 River Monsters 13:30 Long Lost Family 14:30 The Borrowers 16:10 The X Factor 17:35 All Star Family Fortunes 18:30 Tipping Point 19:30 ITV Meridian Weather 19:30 ITV News Meridian 19:45 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Come On Down! The Game Show Story 21:00 The X Factor 22:00 The Great War: The People's Story 23:00 ITV News and Weather 23:14 ITV Meridian Weather 23:15 Prom Crazy: Frocks and Ferraris

TOWER HEIST Action crime comedy starring Ben Stiller and Eddie Murphy. When a crooked financier swindles the employees of a New York apartment block out of their pension fund, building manager Josh Kovacs puts together a team of residents to get even ­ and he knows just the man to help these previously law­ abiding residents win the day.

00:15 The Accused 02:20 Sean Lock: Lockipedia Live 03:15 The Last Leg 04:00 Homeland 04:55 Hollyoaks 07:00 Kirstie's Vintage Gems 07:10 How I Met Your Mother 08:00 Ironman 2014 09:00 Frasier 10:30 Sunday Brunch 13:30 George Clarke's Amazing Spaces 14:35 The Big Bang Theory 16:00 The Simpsons 16:30 The Three Musketeers 18:35 Deal or No Deal 19:30 Channel 4 News 20:00 How Britain Worked 21:00 Time Team Specials 22:00 Tower Heist

00:40 Comedy Kings: Best of Just for Laughs 01:10 SuperCasino 04:10 Celebrity Big Brother 05:00 House Doctor 05:25 Make It Big 06:15 Angels of Jarm 06:40 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Angelina Ballerina 07:30 Bubble Guppies 07:40 The Mr Men Show 07:50 Chloe's Closet 08:05 Roobarb and Custard Too 08:10 Bananas in Pyjamas 08:25 Make Way for Noddy 08:40 City of Friends 08:50 Little Princess 09:00 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:20 Wanda and the Alien 09:35 Rupert Bear 09:50 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:05 Jelly Jamm 10:20 LazyTown 10:50 Access 10:55 Police Interceptors 14:50 Vertical Limit 17:05 Monster House 18:45 Sweet Home Alabama 21:00 5 News Weekend 21:05 World's Deadliest Storms 22:00 Celebrity Big Brother 23:00 Death Sentence

40

Monday September 1 00:35 Boomers 01:05 Weather for the Week Ahead 01:10 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 The Housing Enforcers 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Street Patrol UK 12:45 Caught Red Handed 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Celebrity Pressure Pad 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 A Taste of Britain 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 Inside Out 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 Panorama 22:00 New Tricks 23:00 BBC News 23:25 BBC Regional News and Weather 23:35 21 Up: New Generation 01/09 01:00 BBC2 01:00 The Science of Sleep 02:40 Countryfile 03:40 Holby City 04:40 This Is BBC Two 07:05 Homes Under the Hammer

08:05 Animal Saints and Sinners 08:50 Animal Park 09:20 Operation Hospital Food 10:05 The Stuarts 11:05 Animal SOS 11:35 Click 12:00 BBC News 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Triathlon 15:30 The Chef's Protege 16:00 Celebrity MasterChef 16:45 Nature's Weirdest Events 17:45 Great British Railway Journeys 18:15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 19:00 Two Tribes 19:30 Eggheads 20:00 University Challenge: Class of 2014 21:00 University Challenge 21:30 Only Connect 22:00 Alex Polizzi: The Fixer 23:00 Him & Her 23:30 Newsnight

00:15 The Cube 01:10 The Store 03:25 Motorsport UK 04:15 British Superbike Championship Highlights 05:05 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Jo Frost Family Matters 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV News Meridian 15:00 Judge Rinder 16:00 Tipping Point 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Who's Doing the Dishes?

18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Tonight 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Long Lost Family 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV News Meridian 23:40 Michael Flatley: A Night to Remember

00:00 Another 48 HRS 01:50 Paradise Love 03:50 First Time Farmers 04:45 The Million Pound Drop 05:40 Gordon Ramsay's Home Cooking 06:05 Deal or No Deal 07:00 Countdown 07:45 3rd Rock from the Sun 08:35 The King of Queens 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 11:00 Undercover Boss 12:00 Location, Location, Location 13:00 Channel 4 News 13:05 Celebrity Coach Trip 13:35 Come Dine with Me 14:40 Win It Cook It 15:10 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 Jamie's Comfort Food 21:30 Gadget Man 22:00 Royal Marines Commando School 23:00 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown

JAMIE'S COMFORT FOOD In the first edition, the chef takes on three comfort foods at his home in Essex, and he's joined by friend Christian, or `DJ BBQ', to reveal his ultimate burger ­ including what cut of meat to use, how to cook it and what to have on the side. Plus, Jamie's secret sauce recipe.

01:05 Prisoners Out of Control 01:55 SuperCasino 04:10 Royal Pets: One's Best Friend 05:00 House Doctor 05:25 Make It Big 06:15 Angels of Jarm 06:40 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 08:00 Pip Ahoy!

08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Little Princess 09:10 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 The Dog Rescuers 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Celebrity Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 My Neighbor's Secret 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 The Billion Dollar Wreck Hunt 21:00 Police Interceptors 22:00 Celebrity Big Brother 23:00 Under the Dome 23:55 Celebrity Big Brother's Bit on the Side

Tuesday September 2 00:35 Football Focus 01:15 Live at the Apollo 02:00 Weather for the Week Ahead 02:05 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 The Housing Enforcers 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Street Patrol UK 12:45 Caught Red Handed 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Celebrity Pressure Pad 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 A Taste of Britain 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 Holby City 22:00 In the Club 23:00 BBC News 23:25 BBC Regional News and Weather 23:35 21 Up: New Generation 02/09 00:15 BBC2 00:15 Weather 00:20 The Two Amigos: A Gaucho Adventure 01:20 Dragons' Den 02:20 Great War Diaries 03:20 This Is BBC Two 07:05 Homes Under the Hammer 08:05 Street Patrol UK

08:50 Caught Red Handed 09:20 Fake Britain 10:05 The Men Who Made Us Spend 11:05 Food & Drink 11:35 HARDtalk 12:00 BBC News 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 The Super League Show 14:45 Coast 15:00 Cash in the Attic 15:30 The Chef's Protege 16:00 Celebrity MasterChef 16:45 Nature's Weirdest Events 17:45 Great British Railway Journeys 18:15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 19:00 Two Tribes 19:30 Eggheads 20:00 Young Vets 21:00 £100k House: Tricks of the Trade 22:00 Super Senses: The Secret Power of Animals 23:00 QI 23:30 Newsnight

00:40 All Star Family Fortunes 01:35 Jackpot247 04:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 04:40 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Jo Frost Family Matters 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV News Meridian 15:00 Judge Rinder 16:00 Tipping Point 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Who's Doing the Dishes?

18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 21:00 Harry at 30 22:00 Gems TV 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV News Meridian 23:40 Yes or No ­ The Debate

HARRY AT 30 Ahead of his milestone 30th birthday on September 15, this documentary looks at Prince Harry's life over the past three decades, from mis­ chievous toddler to frontline soldier, troubled teen to eligible bachelor. Featuring contributions by friends, military colleagues, historians, journal­ ists, photographers and royal correspondents, the programme provides an insight into the prince's career in the armed forces, his charity work, family life and public duty.

00:00 Pakistan's Streets of Shame 01:00 How to Be a Billionaire 02:00 Paradise Faith 03:55 Scandal 04:45 Sarah Beeny's Selling Houses 05:40 Gordon Ramsay's Home Cooking 06:05 Deal or No Deal 07:00 Countdown 07:45 3rd Rock from the Sun 08:35 The King of Queens 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 11:00 Undercover Boss 12:00 Location, Location, Location 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Celebrity Coach Trip 13:35 Come Dine with Me 14:40 Win It Cook It 15:10 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 Dogs: Their Secret Lives 22:00 Worst Place to Be a Pilot 23:00 Ramsay's Hotel Hell

00:55 World's Deadliest Storms 01:55 SuperCasino 04:10 Once Upon a Time 05:00 Nick's Quest 05:20 Great Artists 05:45 House Doctor 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 08:00 Pip Ahoy!

08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Little Princess 09:10 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 The Dog Rescuers 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Celebrity Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 Do No Harm 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 Cricket 2014 21:00 Cowboy Builders 22:00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 23:00 Celebrity Big Brother

41

Wednesday September 3 00:35 Scrappers 01:05 Weather for the Week Ahead 01:10 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 The Housing Enforcers 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Street Patrol UK 12:45 Caught Red Handed 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Celebrity Pressure Pad 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 A Taste of Britain 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 Fake Britain 21:00 The Great British Bake Off 22:00 Our Zoo 23:00 BBC News 23:25 BBC Regional News and Weather 23:35 A Question of Sport 03/09 00:20 BBC2 00:20 Hotel India 01:20 The Super League Show 02:05 John Bishop's Australia 03:05 This Is BBC Two 07:00 Homes Under the Hammer

08:00 Street Patrol UK 08:45 Caught Red Handed 09:15 Fake Britain 10:00 Coast 11:00 Scotland Votes: What's at Stake for the UK? 12:00 BBC News 12:30 Daily Politics 14:00 Fred Dibnah's Building of Britain 14:30 Climbing Great Buildings 15:00 Cash in the Attic 15:30 The Chef's Protege 16:00 Celebrity MasterChef 16:45 Nature's Weirdest Events 17:45 Great British Railway Journeys 18:15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 19:00 Two Tribes 19:30 Eggheads 20:00 Young Vets 21:00 Hotel India 22:00 Horizon 23:00 Some People with Jokes 23:30 Weather 23:30 Newsnight

01:40 Jackpot247 04:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 04:40 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Jo Frost Family Matters 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV News Meridian 15:00 Judge Rinder 16:00 Tipping Point 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Who's Doing the Dishes?

18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Coronation Street 20:30 Live International Football 23:20 ITV News and Weather 23:50 ITV News Meridian

00:00 Royal Marines Commando School 01:00 Poker 01:55 Hard Knocks 02:50 KOTV Boxing Weekly 03:20 Trans World Sport 04:20 The Grid 04:45 Ironman 2014 05:40 Gordon Ramsay's Home Cooking 06:05 Deal or No Deal 07:00 Countdown 07:45 3rd Rock from the Sun 08:35 The King of Queens 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 11:00 Undercover Boss 12:00 Location, Location, Location 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Celebrity Coach Trip 13:35 Come Dine with Me 14:40 Win It Cook It 15:10 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 Sarah Beeny's Double Your House for Half the Money 22:00 Grand Designs 23:00 The Gypsy Matchmaker

LIVE INTERNATIONAL FOOTBALL

England v Norway (Kick­off 9.00pm). Coverage of the friendly match at Wembley Stadium, as England play their first fixture since their disap­ pointing World Cup campaign. Roy Hodgson's men returned from their brief trip to Brazil with­ out a victory from their fixtures against Italy, Uruguay and Costa Rica, and are also now with­ out their captain for that tournament, Steven Gerrard, who has since announced his retirement from international football.

00:05 Celebrity Big Brother's Bit on the Side 01:05 Law & Order: Special Victims Unit 01:55 SuperCasino 04:10 Once Upon a Time 05:00 Nick's Quest 05:20 Great Artists 05:45 House Doctor 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 08:00 Pip Ahoy!

08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Little Princess 09:10 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Cowboy Builders 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Celebrity Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 A Sister's Secret 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 Ultimate Police Interceptors 21:00 Countdown to Murder 22:00 Celebrity Big Brother 23:00 Wentworth Prison

Thursday September 4 00:05 Room 101 ­ Extra Storage 00:50 The Stepford Wives 02:15 Weather for the Week Ahead 02:20 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 The Housing Enforcers 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Street Patrol UK 12:45 Caught Red Handed 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Celebrity Pressure Pad 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 A Taste of Britain 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 DIY SOS 22:00 Who Do You Think You Are? 23:00 BBC News 23:25 BBC Regional News and Weather 23:35 So You Think You Can Drive?

04/09 00:20 BBC2 00:20 Super Senses: The Secret Power of Animals 01:20 Who Do You Think You Are? 02:20 Doctor Who 03:05 This Is BBC Two

07:05 Homes Under the Hammer 08:05 Street Patrol UK 08:50 Caught Red Handed 09:20 Fake Britain 10:05 Escape to the Continent 11:05 Gardeners' World 11:35 HARDtalk 12:00 BBC News 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Fred Dibnah's Building of Britain 14:30 Climbing Great Buildings 15:00 Cash in the Attic 15:30 The Chef's Protege 16:00 Celebrity MasterChef 16:45 Nature's Weirdest Events 17:45 Great British Railway Journeys 18:15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 19:00 Two Tribes 19:30 Eggheads 20:00 Young Vets 21:00 Egypt's Lost Queens 22:00 Castles in the Sky 23:30 Newsnight

00:00 Through the Keyhole 01:00 The Cube 01:55 Jackpot247 04:00 British Touring Car Championship Highlights 05:15 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Jo Frost Family Matters 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV News Meridian 15:00 Judge Rinder 16:00 Tipping Point 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Who's Doing the Dishes?

18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Tonight 21:00 Emmerdale 21:30 Paul O'Grady: For the Love of Dogs 22:00 Chasing Shadows 23:00 ITV News at Ten 23:30 ITV News Meridian 23:40 Harry at 30

CHASING SHADOWS New series. Crime drama following a missing­per­ sons unit on the hunt for serial killers. After he criti­ cises police procedure in the aftermath of a murder­ er's capture, DS Sean Stone's superiors want him out of the way, so they assign him to a new `unit' at the MPB with analyst Ruth Hattersley.

00:00 999: What's Your Emergency?

01:00 Ramsay's Hotel Hell 01:55 Paradise Hope 03:30 The Ladykillers 05:05 Sarah Beeny's Selling Houses 06:05 Kirstie's Vintage Gems 06:10 Deal or No Deal 07:00 Countdown 07:45 3rd Rock from the Sun 08:35 The King of Queens 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 11:00 Undercover Boss 12:00 Location, Location, Location 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Celebrity Coach Trip 13:35 Come Dine with Me 14:40 Win It Cook It 15:10 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 Location, Location, Location 22:00 Educating the East End 23:00 First Time Farmers

00:00 Celebrity Big Brother's Bit on the Side 01:00 Big Brother: Live from the House 02:00 SuperCasino 04:10 Once Upon a Time 05:00 Nick's Quest 05:20 Great Artists 05:45 House Doctor 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 08:00 Pip Ahoy!

08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Little Princess 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 The Dog Rescuers 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Celebrity Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 Blue Smoke 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 The Railway: First Great Western 21:00 World's Worst Disasters 22:00 Celebrity Big Brother 23:00 Dallas 23:55 Celebrity Big Brother's Bit on the Side

42

Friday, August 29, 2014

AUCTIONS

ACCOUNTANTS Pro Business Support – for all your accountancy needs in English; bookkeep­ ing, taxes, wage slips and more. We cater for compa­ nies and self­employed peo­ ple; we can deal with every­ thing for you. Call us on 966 923 963 for first consultation free of charge.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS

BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES Ref. DB6460L 85,000€ Restaurant in enviable loca­ tion with no local competi­ tion and regular clientele.

This profitable, established leasehold restaurant has a fully fitted modern kitchen, disabled facilities and a fresh recently painted interi­ or. directbusinessbrokers .com Tel 966 44 33 81 Ref. DB6435L 97,000€ Large successfully run leasehold Beauty Salon near Quesada. Spacious salon with 7 rooms and rental income from separate hair salon. All fitness machines, treatment beds and tables included in the sale. directbusinessbro­ kers.com Tel 966 44 33 81 Ref. DB6457L 42,000€ Excellent opportunity to pur­ chase a well established and thriving leasehold Bar/Cafeteria in a central location in Torrevieja.

Beautiful established garden and south west facing ter­ race with BBQ and all year round trade. directbusiness­ brokers.com Tel 966 44 33 81 Ref. DB6456L 20,000€ Lively, popular leasehold Bar & Restaurant in a lovely

CATERING

BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY

position on La Manga over­ looking the port. Fully fitted kitchen and extensive sunny terraces. Freehold also available for purchase and flat above the premises. directbusinessbrokers.com Tel 966 44 33 81 Ref. DB6455L 150,000€ Profitable leasehold Café Bar, competitively priced for quick sale. Air conditioned interior with stylish decor and large terraces. Multiple income streams: food, drink, internet facilities, games and ice cream. Offering great potential for further growth. directbusinessbrokers.com Tel 966 44 33 81 Ref. DB6446L 74,950€ Beautifully presented lease­ hold Garden Furniture Business, recently reduced in price. A successful and easy to run business with established website, signifi­ cant internet sales, cus­ tomer database and excel­

647­189­135.

Email: casatomsanluis@gmail.com lent reputation locally. direct­ businessbrokers.com Tel 966 44 33 81

CHURCH SERVICES

CHOIR

Torrevieja Christian Fellowship at Avenida de las Cortes Valencianas 68, Torrevieja 03183, welcome residents and visitors alike, to their friendly and lively 10.30 am. Service each Sunday morning.

During the month of August they will not be holding the Wednesday night meeting at 6.00 pm. For further infor­ mation and/or directions please telephone 966700391 or visit our web­ site on www.tcf­spain.org."

Casa Tom Community Choir: From 8 September 2014, Casa Tom Community Choir meets every Monday at 2.00pm for 2.30pm. It is a mixed choir and all levels are welcome. No auditions, no solos. Make new friends and have a good time.

Location: Casa Tom, Avenida JACA 31, San Luis, Torrevieja. Phone or email Terry for details. Phone:

AUTO ENGINEERING

CARPENTER

International Christian Assembly, Calle Pilar de Horadada 5, Torrevieja.

Evangelical non­denomina­ tional church. Sunday serv­ ices 11am.

Children's church 11am. House groups in Torrevieja, Los Balcones, San Javier. Ladies meeting Thursdays 11am. Craft club, Tuesdays, 2pm.

Pastor, Rafael Restrepo. All nation­ alities welcome. Call 966 799 273 or 660 127 276.

Pilar Christian Community Church Calle Canalejas 3.

Pilar de la Horadada.

Sunday Service at 11am, and Thursday at 5pm for Prayer and Praise and Worship. Home groups meet during the week. All welcome from any church background or none. For further information contact PilarChristian.CommunityC hurch@gmail.com 968575417 or 966848806.

Reg No:2009­SG/A The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (Mormons) meet at 10.00 each Sunday at their Torrevieja meetinghouse in the Torreaguas building on

BARBER

CONSTRUCTION

ALARMS

CLEANERS

43

Friday, August 29, 2014 the corner of Rambla Juan Mateo Garcia 104, close to the windmill in Torrevieja, 667 533 597.

The rainbow centre for spiri­ tual awareness We meet in the function room at sacos bar el leiminar just of the CV 905 Rojales to torrievieja road We have a divine serv­ ice on Sundays at 11am and on Wednesdays we hold an evening of clairvoyance at 7.30 pm Also on Wednesdays there is an open circle at 5.30 for those who are interested in clair­

GARDENER

voyance Healing is always available by certified healers after each meeting A warm welcome to friends old and new The mediums for the month of July 2014 are Wednesdays 2nd Debbie Blevins 9th Belinda & Jill 16th Trish and Shirley 23rd Sammy Fitzsimons 30th Paul & jennet. Closed until august 31st then Belinda & Sandra. Sundays 6th Paul & jennet 13th Belinda Bradley 20th ray bailey 27th Trish.

For further information call Trish on 966 844 795 or Email the rainbowcentre­ costablana@gmail.com

CARS FOR SALE Car insurance quotes – new extra discount on fully comprehensive policies at the price of third party!

Excellent prices for expats, all policies and call centre staff in English. We will call you back with a quote. 966 923 963

CAR BREAKERS

INSURANCE CASER SEGUROS ­ for all your insurance needs, home, car, health, funeral.

Policies available in English and German.

Call Professional Business Support on 966 923 963 for a quick quote from our friendly staff.

GUITAR LESSONS Guitar lessons for beginners and improvers. Provide an insight into most styles.

From 10€ per hour. Call Peter on 966789612 or 629975378. Torrvieja

PROPERTY FOR RENT Viva Villa and Vacation Services, For Short or Long Term Rentals visit: www.vil­ laandvacation.com or Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Santiago de la Ribera 2 bed­ room townhouse close to

beach and shops with com­ munal pool €350 monthly short or long term lease Call 0044 7890996330 ­ 968570645 (162) Ref: 61, A lovely two bed­ roomed ground floor apart­ ment, located in the centre of the small Spanish town of Los Montesinos, With a pleasant communal swim­ ming pool adjacent & all amenities in walking dis­ tance. Long and short term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

LONG TERM RENTALS

PROPERTY FOR SALE BPP­1808 230,000€ ­ 3 BEDROOM DETACHED HOUSE FOR SALE in LOS MONTISINOS, ALICANTE, SPAIN TEL: 966443381 BPP1804 3 bedroom detached villa a spacious family Villa Torrevieja For Sale fully furnished 240,000€ Tel: 966 44 33 81 BPP2896 Old style spanish 4 bedroom detached Monte Zenia property reasonably priced 175,000€ Tel: 966 44 33 81

BPP2897 3 BEDROOM SEMI­DETACHED HOUSE FOR SALE Aguas Nuevas 193,000€ Tel: 966 44 33 81 BPP2898 2 BEDROOM BUNGALOW FOR SALE Aguas Nuevas 125,000€ Tel: 966 44 33 81 BPP2901 2 Bedroom apart­ ment Aguas Nuevas 73,000€ Tel: 966 44 33 81 BPP2906 Large 3 BED­ ROOM BUNGALOW FOR SALE Aguas Nuevas 135,000€ Tel: 966 44 33 81

UPHOLSTERY CLEANING

WANTED! Properties, all types, in the Torrevieja area wanted for long term rentals.

Call us on 96 692 3963 2 or 3 bed / 2 bath apart­ ments in San Miguel. Lift, communal rooftop pool & solarium, video entry sys­ tem. Available for short or long term rent from 350 pcm. Tel 966723437 or 616 493 487. (184)

DRAINAGE PETS

44

Friday, August 29, 2014

BPP 2907 Exceptional value 2 BEDROOM APARTMENT FOR SALE €49,950 Tel: 966 44 33 81 BPP2908 Excellent location 3 BEDROOM DETACHED HOUSE FOR SALE Villamartin €269,000 Tel: 966 44 33 81 BPP2903 Huge Executive 3 BEDROOM APARTMENT FOR SALE Los Montesinos €165,000 Tel: 966 44 33 81 BPP2899 2 BEDROOM BUNGALOW FOR SALE Torrevieja 59,000€ Tel: 966 44 33 81 Del Este, Santa Pola ­ 4 bedroom Duplex within a Secure Small Private Community. It has an inte­ gral large garage with sink, washing machine, large storage area. Independent large bedroom and full bath­ room.

American style kitchen, three bathrooms and cloakroom, front and back terraces, large solari­ um with bbq and shower, well maintained with a/c, ceiling fans. Communal Pool and third line from the beach. Sold with all white goods and furnished for 210,000 euros. 699613155 Ref: KP3100, €183,000.

Three bedroom, two bath­ room detached villa, located in San Luis, on a 450sqm plot, with communal pool.

Garage to side of house.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Immaculate ground floor Duplex, 2 beds, 2 bath, Private Parking, Situated in Novamar, Gran Alacant.

Price includes very tasteful furniture and white goods.

Walking distance to all local amenities and beach. Now only 129,750 euros. Ref No K24. 627 711 155

2 Bed, 1 Bath Ground floor duplex. Central heating, Grills, Fully furnished, Glazed in Galleria, 2 com­ munal pools, private parking and walking distance to the Gran Alacant commercial centre. Situated in the popu­ lar urbanisation of Puerto Marino. Now only 96,500 euros for quick sale Ref No. K46. 627 711 155 Recently reduced 4 Bed, 3 Bath Villa, in Gran Alacant.

Quiet Location, Exceptional Views. Converted Under build, 2 Lounges, 2 Kitchens, Private Garage and being sold Fully Furnished, now only 239.950 Ref: L81 Tel. 680333242 Gran Alacant Detached villa, located in a very sought after location.Situated on a 560m2 S/W facing plot and constructed in 2005.

Comprising of 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms (2 full baths), Lounge­Diner, fully equipped Kitchen, Porch and Solarium with Alicante & Sea Views. ref.L81. €258,000 neg.

Tel. 680333242 Gran Alacant Town House with a difference.

2 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, Glazed in Porch, Quiet Location, Extra storage areas, and South Facing Private Pool as well as 2 communal pools. Fully Furnished, All mod cons.

Greenland Views and all local amenities close by.

Ref. No L79. 179.000 euros 680 333 242 2 Bedroom, 2 Bathroom, Unfurnished Mid Terraced Townhouse in GA. Recently decorated throughout means this property is a very clean black canvass.

PLUMBERS

POOL TABLES

Has Air­Con & Security Grills and the use of a Communal Pool. Price recently reduced to 110.000e Ref.K12 Tel. 627711155 Reduced for a quick sale to 95.000 e 2 Bedroom, 1 bath­ room, Top Floor Duplex in Gran Alacant. Very Modern Property with Many extras.

Glazed in Porch, Roof Top Solarium, Wooden Flooring.

Immaculate condition and ready to move in. Ref. K15 Tel. 627711155.

Gran Alacant, Situated in the "Alto" part of Gran Alacant, this 3 bedroomed, 4th floor apartment, offers luxury accommodation, with absolutely stunning sea views, as well as views of Alicante bay and the famous Santa Barbara Castle.The apartment is 89 square meters with open plan kitchen / living room and includes all electrical appli­ ances & furniture also there is a utility room, open ter­ race, and private parking.

The urbanisation also offers many communal pools, ten­ nis courts, restaurants and

bars. Ref. K20 €109,000 Tel 680333242 Viva Villa and Vacation Services are pleased to offer property sales for the Torrevieja and Oriheula areas of the Costa Blanca, Spain. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 or Visit : www.villaandvacation.com Gran Alacant villa located in a very quiet area , situated at the end of a cul­de­sac means there is no through traffic.3 bed, 3 bath, 330m2 plot, established large gar­ dens, working fireplace, solar panel for hot water,pri­ vate parking, south facing great views, fully furnished, fantastic opportunity. ref.

L85. €215,000 Tel 680333242 Beach front Line property, over looks Carabassi Beach, Gran Alacant. 2 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, Secure Underground Parking, Fully furnished, Roof Top Solarium. 3 Large Communal Pools, Fantastic communal Gardens, Tennis Courts and much more.

125.000 Euros Ref No. K23.

Tel. 627 711 155

REMOVALS

Lovely clean detached Villa just as you enter Gran Alacant. Very central loca­ tion, 3 Bedrooms, 3 Bathrooms, Glazed in Porch, Garden Shed, Private Parking, Attractive Gardens, Private pool Ref: K59 240.000e Tel. 627711155 Offers Invited on a mid Terraced Town house in Gran Alacant. Comprising of 3 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, Lounge Diner, Galleria, Solarium, Under build.

Communal Pool and Gardens, and with Exceptional Views of Alicante. Being Sold Fully Furnished including White Goods. Ref. K42 Tel. 627711155 (reasonable offers only) Gran Alacant, Situated on the very first urbanisation as you enter Gran Alacant, this 2nd floor duplex offers taste and quality. Comprising of 2 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, lounge­diner, independent kitchen, full roof­top solari­ um with superb views and recently glazed in porch offering extra living area as well as extra privacy as the glass is mirrored. Ref.K44 €108,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant south­facing, very private villa, with wood­ land and Alicante views.

Situated at the end of a small cul­de­sac which means this villa enjoys a very peaceful location.3 Bedrooms with fitted wardrobes, 3 Bathrooms, lounge­diner with working fireplace, fully fitted kitchen with including white goods, large front porch, solarium,workshop and stor­ age in under build, central

WANTED

heating, air con H/C, ceiling fans, grills, UK T.V, off road parking and plenty of out­ side parking also. Due to its orientation of this property enjoys full sun, all day, something very important in the winter months. Ref.K24. €237,000 Tel 680333242

QUIZZES Experienced quiz­ master/question setter with personality available to host quiz nights in local bars.

Tel:­ 664 838 581

SITUATIONS VACANT Self­employed experienced BEAUTY THERAPIST required for the Sophia Wellness Centre, Cabo Roig, email your CV to sophiawellnesscentre@gma il.com RADIO COSTA INTERNA­ TIONAL needs motivated sellers. Spanish, English and German language is a bonus but not essential.

Training and good earnings guaranteed. For more info call 644 126 600 or email info@radicocostainterna­ tional.com Situations Vacant. Top Chef Required for The Med Bistro Bar, Guardamar. Excellent package and incentives. Tel. 0044 7917 1658 65 or email: andysteve@aol.com (168)

SITUATIONS WANTED Gardening, property mainte­ nance, translations, cheap rates call David 722521654.

SOLICITORS Need English speaking solicitors in Torrevieja?

Let us help to solve your problems with debt recov­ ery, divorce, property, fraud, criminal defence. Call us on 966 923 963, give us brief details and get in touch with your specialist solicitor today

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45

Friday, August 29, 2014

Greenside Gossip EVERY LITTLE HELPS? IVIE DAVIES takes a weekly look at the golf scene - golfdavies@gmail.com

There’s some great news for people who want to get their hands on the latest golf equipment at competitive prices with the news that Sports Direct has taken a minority stake in Direct Golf UK. Direct Golf (not surprisingly) has welcomed the opportuni­ ties that this new partnership brings and have also announced a tie­up with Tesco to offer golf equipment through the Tesco Direct online marketplace, including the option of collection in­store through the Tesco ‘Click+Collect’ service. That’s okay if you’re in the UK (I wonder why Tesco’s has not got it there?).

But there appears to be an alternative story that seeks to create a clear differential in terms of brand image and added value. At The Open Championship it was remarkable when hearing the equipment manufacturers and how many of them were saying the same thing, which can be summarised as, “We want to move the brand up market to the premium end, make clubs available with custom fit only and sell through a select number of green grass outlets that major on the brand”.

If we go back 25 years, it was then the case that premium brand equipment was only available through club pro shops.

Since then, the relentless battle to capture market share has forced down prices and margins for equipment manufactur­ ers, with ‘brand values’ sometimes marginalised in the drive to capture a bigger share of the cake. Perhaps we’ve reached a turning point with a clear differential starting to emerge between the discount and premium ends of the mar­ ket.

ETIQUETTE CORNER

Position yourself directly across or at a diagonal from a play­ er setting up. Never stand on the line of play, either beyond the hole or directly behind the ball. When a player is about to hit a shot, think of the fairway as a cathedral, and the green a library.

2. MAKE YOUR GOLF BUGGY 'INVISIBLE' Buggies are very much a part of the modern game. Think about it: They're mentioned on the backs of scorecards, dis­ cussed in the Decisions on the Rules of Golf, bags and other items are designed specifically for them, and they're used at most courses. The sheer commonness of them makes cart etiquette vitally important. Your aim when driving a buggy should be to leave no trace that you were there. Because we tend to look where we're going and not where we've been, it's easy to damage the turf and not realise it. Avoid wet areas and spots that are getting worn from traffic. Golfers tend to play "follow the leader" and drive in single file out to the fairway before branching off. It's usually better to "scat­ ter" ­­ everyone take a different route ­­ so cart traffic is spread out. Where ever possible keep to the buggy paths.

3. ALWAYS LOOK YOUR BEST The best players have been meticulous about their appear­ ance. Their clothing has been sharp, and not one of them has shown up on the first tee with his cap backward, mud caked on his shoes, or his shirt hanging out. (My shirt often came untucked, but it was my swing that did it. I started with it tucked in!). Your appearance speaks volumes about you as a person, and the neatly appointed golfer, like a business­ man, gives the impression he thinks the golf course and the people there are special.

4. TURN OFF THE MOBILE PHONE

It’s a welcome return to a favourite subject of mine and a fresh list of things that will make the great game of golf even better!

1. BE A SILENT PARTNER

You may have noticed another player making practice swings in your field of vision as you are getting ready to hit a shot. The point is, stand still from the time as a player sets himself until the ball has left the club. Even with the advent of spikeless shoes, the etiquette rule of never walking in someone's line of play on the putting green is an absolute.

The area around the hole in particular is sacred ground. The first thing to note when you walk onto a green is the location of every ball in your group, then steer clear of their lines to the hole. Know where to stand and when to keep quiet.

like laying the flagstick down carefully; stamping down spike marks when you're walking off a green; letting faster groups play through, and so on. All of these things are learned by observing, with a sharp eye and a considerate heart. Just

know that golf has a way of returning favours, and every piece of etiquette you practice will be repaid tenfold.

7. CONSIDERATION Don’t leave your bag, trolley, buggy at the front of the green; leave them at the exit side or back, this will speed up play by allowing the following group to play their shots. Mark your cards away from the green, for example on the next tee.

Take your empty water bottle and sandwich wrappers to the litter bin and do not throw them on the course. If your ball's heading in a direction where there is a danger of it hitting someone, shout a warning immediately. The traditional word of warning is “fore”.

ETIQUETTE MISSING

I know enough to recognise a mobile phone when it rings in my backswing! If I had my way, mobile phones would be turned off at all times on the course, but most clubs have given in to the fact that people are going to use them. Do whatever you have to do to keep it quiet. If you absolutely have to receive a call, move away from the other players.

And keep the call so brief that they don't even know you received it.

5. LEND A HAND WHEN YOU CAN It's easy to help out your fellow players, if you just pay atten­ tion. One obvious way is looking for lost balls ­­ better yet, watching errant shots so they don't turn into lost balls. Pick up that extra club left on the fringe or the headcover dropped next to the tee, and return it to its owner after say­ ing, "Nice shot!" And if you see a buggy out of position or a provisional ball that needs picking up, don't just walk by.

6. LEARN THE LITTLE THINGS There are a hundred bits of etiquette I haven't mentioned,

KNOW YOUR RULES QUESTION A ball is on the green, and if having been marked and replaced and the ball marker then removed, is it then in play and you are not then allowed to remark to align the ball fur­ ther, without penalty?

ANSWER When a ball is on the putting green it may be marked and lift­ ed and replaced, or marked and re­aligned as many times as the player wishes, subject of course to Rule 6­7 (undue delay).

It was interesting to hear golf commentating guru Peter Alliss complain and rightly so that “nobody lets anyone through anymore”. He was commentating on a group of two of the top professionals waiting for a ruling on a Par 3. It’s quite normal to wait for the match referee to adjudicate on a ques­ tion of the rules, but in this case the next group, including the tournament leader in a Ladies European Tour event, were waiting on the tee. It was quite obvious that it did not enter anybody’s mind up on the green to call the group through and for those who observe some of the more selfish ele­ ments of pro’ golf it comes as no surprise. The problem is, of course, that everything seen on television is mirrored at amateur level. There might be an excuse for pro’s playing for loads of money, but theirs is no reason why club golfers should not be more thoughtful to those playing behind. Our game of golf is based on honesty and consideration, which are honed into its traditions, so let’s not follow these poor examples set by those who really should know better!

TITTER ON THE TEE A man walks into a Golf Club cocktail lounge and approached a very attractive woman sitting by herself and asked, "May I buy you a Gin and Tonic?”

"No thank you," she replies; "alcohol is bad for my legs.”

"Sorry to hear that. Do they swell?”

"No, they spread.

46

Friday, August 29, 2014

MUCHO ARGY BARGY MESSI BRACE HITS ELCHE ATLETICO MADRID 1 REAL MADRID 0 (2-1agg)

Mario Mandzukic scored his first goal for Atletico Madrid who overcame star­studded city rivals Real to win the Spanish Super Cup 2­1 on aggregate last Friday night. The one goal came after just two minutes with the Croat firing in low from inside the area. After that, the main entertainment came from the Atletico manager, Diego Simeone who was sent off, which led to him being handed an eight game ban by the Spanish football fed­ eration.

The Argentinian was sent to the stands

during the first half after aggressively remon­ strating with the fourth official, who he then tapped on the back of the head. The four sanctions for Simeone included a four­match ban for twice tapping the official's head and a two­match suspension for the protests which led to his sending off. He was also given two further bans of one match each for sarcastically applauding the official's deci­ sion and for remaining in the stands instead of going to the changing rooms after his dis­ missal.

REAL MADE TO WORK REAL MADRID 2 CORDOBA 0

BARCELONA 3 ELCHE 0

Goals from Lionel Messi and teenager Munir El Haddadi got Barcelona’s season off to a perfect start last Sunday evening, as the Illicitanos failed to take advantage of a sending off and offered little firepower up front. Debutant Munir and Andres Iniesta hit the bar for the hosts before Messi drilled in low from an angle just before half time.

Seconds later Javier Mascherano was sent off for a professional foul on Garry Rodrigues, but Munir doubled the lead with a chip soon after the break. Messi then slot­ ted in his second after beating three defend­ ers.

Elche manager, Fran Escriba, said he was happy with his team’s defensive per­ formance, despite the fact they conceded three goals:­ “Offensively, we were lacking a lot, but our defence worked very well. The

goal before the break hurt us, and then they reacted well to the sending­off. They kept hold of the ball well, whilst we tried to do things that seem to be alright in training, but taking them onto the field against such opposition was not easy”.

With everything that happened, including the sending off, Barcelona boss, Luis Enrique was more than content with the result and sang the praises of Lionel Messi:­ “ I’m very happy. Things were shook up because of the sending off and the team understood what they had to do after that.

With the players we have and with Messi in fine form, everything is going fine.”.

Elche open up their home campaign with this Sunday night with an encounter against old rivals Granada whilst earlier in the evening Barcelona travel to Villarreal.

CARRASCO CRACKER CD TORREVIEJA 1 ATLETICO SAGUNTINO 0

Real Madrid's quest to take the La Liga title from their neighbours Atletico Madrid started with an unconvincing win over promoted Cordoba, who were back in the top league after a 42 year absence.

It took Karim Benzema 30 minutes to find a way past the second division play­ off winners with a powerful header and Real toiled in vain for the best part of an hour with the second goal proving to be frustratingly elusive.

Carlo Ancelotti's men had perhaps been lucky to avoid conceding an

equaliser to their plucky opponents at a packed­out and restless Bernabeu, but Cristiano Ronaldo eased the pressure and made the points safe on the stroke of full­time.

Ancelotti admitted that there was work to be done:­ “We were trying to mix pos­ session with direct attacking, and our rhythm dropped a bit in the second half. It was important to start with a win and I thought we controlled things well”.

Madrid are away to Real Sociedad this Sunday evening.

TENNIS SUCCESS

Torrevieja Tennis Club’s boys section fea­ turing their teenage star Nicola Kuhn have finished runners­up for the second succes­ sive year in the Spanish Championships held at the National Tennis Club in Barcelona. The Torrevieja team lost in the final to Valencia, who also beat them in 2013

at the same stage.

Torrevieja were actually the top seeds in a competition that brought together 28 teams representing a mixture of clubs and schools from across the country. They beat teams from Lleida, Toledo and Zaragoza en route to the final.

A well­constructed goal finishing in a Carrasco header gave Torrevieja a winning start to the season after a tough encounter against what is viewed to be one of the divi­ sion’s better teams. It was a high quality encounter with an excellent work rate from the Torry team.

Rafa Gomez very much led the attack in the first half for the home side, who dominat­ ed the proceedings. Gomez went close with a low drive after cutting in from the left and courageously heading goalward in spite of an aggressive challenge from the keeper, with Carrasco just failing to shove the ball over the line. At the other end, a superbly struck 20 yard free kick was sailing into the top corner before Oscar leapt at full stretch to palm onto the crossbar.

Torry kept up the pressure in the second half, and the breakthrough came in the 72nd minute and it was a high quality effort. Rafa Gomez picked up the ball as the ever willing

Vicente Boix made a telling overlap. Timing his pass to perfection, Rafa pinged it down the line where the blistering pace of Boix was breath­taking. His cross was blocked, but picking up the rebound, Rafa sent over an exquisite delivery and the smallest man on the field, Carrasco produced the deftest of headers, glancing the ball into the corner of the net off the far post.

It was no more than Torry deserved but Saguntino were not beaten yet and forced the pace with a series of attacks that were repelled by a resolute Torry defence, whilst Sergi and Boix had chances to increase the lead. The matches are coming thick and fast with a trip to Utiel this Sunday, with Torry at home to Muro this Wednesday night (September 3rd) with an 8.00pm kick off.

Friday, August 29, 2014

47

M AND M’S BRING OUT A RASSH!

Racist, Anti-Semitic, Sexist, Homophobic – Surely Not Our Beautiful Game?

In that great James Bond film, Doctor No is the undisputed baddie, and ‘M’ is the Good Guys boss. But in the new unfolding ‘Textgate’ saga there are two M’s ­ Mackay and Moody, mates who started off on the ‘right’ side – apparently clean, talented, hard­working middle management men of Cardiff City football club, although regularly clashing with the evil Doctor No, aka owner Vincent Tan playing the role of the half­crazy megalomaniac Far Eastern zillionaire, who put his power and money to unpopular use

in the UK’s supposedly squeaky­clean UK football world.

What a team they were – then. Soon into their dreamed­of first Prem season Tan fired head of recruitment Iain Moody and typically, amazingly replaced him with one of his son’s friends who just happened to be on work experience. Funny old stick, isn’t he? But Moody soon re­surfaced with a nice little number as Crystal Palace’s ‘Sporting Director’. After their modest start in the Prem, Cardiff began sliding, ever­so­steadily

FULL MONTE TIME

By Andrew Atkinson

CD Montesinos kick off their build up to the new season as they entertain Cuidad D Elx FC in the Full Monte Cup this Saturday at the Los Montesinos Municipal Ground, with a 7.30pm kick off. The new campaign talisman Vazquinho (Vaz pictured) will once again lead the front line alongside Edu, whilst new signings are striker Carlos from Cox CD and midfielder Alberto from Itango Elx CD, whilst mid­ fielder Guille has joined the first team squad from the junior set up.

The team havea new supporters club President in Fred Griggs who will succeed Howard Yeats who only stood in for last season, and will remain as club Treasurer. "I will also assist in various other things, like merchandise, posters, the Man of the Match Award and printing the team sheet on match days," said Yeats. Fred Giggs steps up from supporters club vice President to President for the 2014­15 season with Yeats and stalwart Eddie Cagigao remaining on the committee.

Pre season training got underway nearly three weeks ago and friendly fixtures have been arranged against Unión Ilicitana FC on Saturday September 6th (kick­off 7.30pm), and away to Santa Pola on Wednesday September 10th with an 8.30 pm kick off. The 2014­15 league season starts on Sunday on September 21 with CD Montesinos travelling to Crevillente in the opening game of the campaign in the Valencian Community 2nd Regional Group 15.

lower as the season wore on. Despite lavish sums bringing supposedly ‘Premier’ players to the capital of Wales, the key word ’over­ spend’ – like £15m ­ began to get bandied about.

Now most people in Vinny’s position might just want to know where that sort of money had gone? Strong rumours then circled that Tan had tried to also fire manager Malky MacKay (by e mail from the other side of the world, like you do), but the fiery Scot ignored it and carried on regardless, although Cardiff were still dropping into the deadly bottom three. Finally out of patience and answers, Tan officially sacked good ol’ Malky and replaced him with that nice Norwegian lad Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, but with time running out to avoid relegation.

Talks of unfair dismissal were aired, with the experienced MacKay immediately linked by the media with every top vacancy ­ but curiously not furthered anywhere. Later in May, the M & Ms jointly apologised to Tan over the issues that led to their dismissals and agreed settlements: Mackay himself had demanded £7.5million compensation.

Confusingly, towards the end of the sad season, a Welsh mole was alleged to have unsportingly leaked the Cardiff team sheet early to their impending opponents ­ Crystal Palace no less, Moody’s new home. That issue has now been finalised with a fine for Palace ­ but meanwhile Cardiff still went back down in bottom place.

Hmm… now the pendulum between good and evil began to swing the other way. In another unconnected major move(totally unexpectedly), Tony Pulis, Palace’s saviour last season walked out after a row with the Eagles’ chairman Steve Parish. Cue the old boys’ network ­ who is the natural successor, why the apparently Much Maligned One, Malky Mackay ­ after you with the contract, Mr Chairman­in­a­fix… It was looking as though mates Mackay and Moody were to be unexpectedly­but­happily reunited at confused.com Crystal Palace ­ but the word

was the actual job interview didn’t go too well. Surely temperamental Tony’s tailor­ made replacement was ideal, what with the M & M connection?

Ah, but by then Cardiff had sent a detailed dossier to the Football Association outlining issues related to the M & Ms time at Cardiff.

That led to top lawyers Mishcon de Reya obtaining a court order to raid Moody’s London home back in March, where com­ puters and digital equipment were seized, and it is since then that the ghastly, self­con­ demning message exchanges with Mackay were unearthed. The revelation of the rash of M and Ms’ mobile messages couldn’t real­ ly get any more damning: Racist, Anti­ Semitic, Sexist, Homophobic, they’re all there in excess to delight M and Ms’ ene­ mies. Racism of any sort alone is such a hot topic in world­wide football today that no­ one, especially Premier club management should be seen anywhere near it. But add to that delicate subject the texts attack the flourishing female force in football ­ and the gay issue is similarly on its way ­ so all­in­all the M & Ms are now wearing a big red RASSH for all to see…

Sometimes it pays in life to try to look at things from the other guy’s point of view.

Yes, sure (owner) Vincent Tan changed (his) club’s colours from blue to red, as in his neck of the woods it’s supposed to be lucky (not doing Man U much good at the mo..), and the club’s crest from bluebirds to a red dragon, plus a few other unwelcome moves.

But Tan did put a huge amount of his own money into the club, and his massive mazoomah meant Cardiff, helped by M and M’s football cred got the club, at last after many years in the wilderness promoted up to the hallowed halls of The Premiership.

How did it all go wrong? If proven, the seri­ ous issues will virtually ensure that it will be a long time before the M & Ms work again in football. Hey, no more Doctor No ­ it’s the Tan and Olly show now, back in The Championship – for now…

Friday, August 29, 2014

48

WHITE HOT LANE!

New Kids On The Block Take Tottenham Top

On Super Sunday, the Erik Lamela–led Lillywhites put 48 passes together in two and a half minutes before Nacer Chadli headed his second and Spurs third in the 4 – 0 rout of Quite Possibly Relegated (again). New boss Mauriccio Pochettino’s young Spurs stars are storming away in top spot on goal differ­ ence, amazingly without most of the usual suspects. Newbie Eric Dier scored again for the second week running, plus an Adebayor effort put the Hoops to the sword..and guess who are Lane­bound this Super Sunday?

Why Liverpool, wack, where Mental Mario’s amazing­ ly moved to Merseyside. Brave Brendan’s brought barmpot Balotelli to Anfield, the Reds’ boss still striv­ ing to substitute Suarez’s striking successes. But at a proud club that only just came second last season, where teamwork, loyalty, standards and off­field behaviour are important, then Mario Balotelli would not be The Chosen One. Just look at his record, nowhere does he stay long. Mighty Mourinho says Mario is unmanageable – and he should know. Why does Rodgers think he can succeed where others have failed? The Liverpool leader has apparently warned the ex­AC Milan and Man City star that he has to abide by club rules, viz: 'We have an intensive code of conduct… covers everyone... a learning envi­ ronment for players.' Hmm… that includes naughty Mario, does it, Big Boss Bren? OK, what’s the odds on how long before Mario gets bored and misbe­ haves?

John McGregor reports

Do the Reds really need him? After beating Southampton, Liverpool played well enough on Monday despite losing to champions Man City. How does he do that? After a business­like two­goal strike from City’s repaired and restored Stevan Jovetic, off went Edin Dzeko, to be replaced by… one Sergio Aguerro. The little….blighter then scored a trademark belter twenty­three seconds later to put City 3 – 0 up and finish off busy­but­not­quite­right Liverpool, 3 ­1 in the end. Just like fancied rivals­for­the­title Chelski, City now boast two top players for every position: even their bench looks terrifying to oppo­ nents, e.g. they can take off a tiring David Silva only to send on a bursting, thrusting Jesus Navas – who immediately laid on Aguero’s goal…

City’s real opposition? He may have Costa £32m, but deadly Diego’s delivering already for Chelsea, that’s 2 in 2 for him, and 2 wins in 2 games for the Blues: double delight and Didier Drogba’s back. Mind you, Leicester didn’t lie down, David Nugent should have put the Foxes ahead but for a blinding Thibaut Courtois save. Plenty of spirit in the East Midlands, they’ll need it Saturday at home to Arsenal who… … came back from the dead after Everton looked to have given them the last rites. The Toffees led 2 ­ 0 at half time and seemed in control, only for the Gunners to recharge to hit two late goals from Aaron Ramsey and Olivier Giroud: yet another 2 – 2 barnstormer for the neutrals. Will Everton sort it out in time for Chelsea’s late Saturday visit?

Divine help needed? Angelic aid? Manchester dis­ United sank to another new low on Tuesday evening, losing 4 – 0 in the Capital Cup to two­leagues­below­ ‘em Milton Keynes. Desperate United are exorbitantly paying Real Madrid £59.7m for winger Angel Di Maria:

the Argentinian is just not worth that, it’s daylight robbery. That’s £132m in this summer spend, the panic­buy­anybody­available is acutely evident , just like last year when United were caught for £28m for modest Marouane Fellaini. Poor old morose Moyes was just not given enough time to sort it ­ seventh place/no Europe ­ failure by Fergie’s phenomenal feats. United got their first point from six at the week­ end drawing away at Sunderland. Shh, it’s the Red Devils worst start since 1992. Another big test for United coming early doors Saturday, away to newly­ promoted­but­pointless Burnley. ‘Ood be in van Gaal’s big boots at the mo, one pathetic point from six? Seen any planes towing messages?

Yaki da, Super Swansea are in the elite ‘six from two’ club, max points along with Spurs, Man City and Chelsea. Heady Kompany, good luck to ‘em, and home to West Brom Saturday could keep the Swans swimming serenely up there. Alternatively anxious way down in the early Dreaded Drop Department with nul points are Crystal no­Palace, Burnley and QPR. Surprisingly (?) playing some great football West Ham blew Crystal no­Pulis away 3 – 0. Desperate Dan aka Steve Parish has knee­jerked into appointing Neil Warnock the Eagles manager. Seriously ­ what has narky Neil ever won? We’ll see…

Finally, this might be the only chance I get, hopefully not, to point out that my Nottingham Forest are top of The Championship after three games, following Saturday’s 4 – 0 rout of reasonable Reading. Club stalwart Stuart Pearce, ‘Psycho’ forever to Reds’ fans is now manager at the City Ground. Can we keep it up ­ or at least stay higher than that ex­Forest reject, Wally­Brolly manager McLaren at nasty­neighbours Derby?