Week 183

Edition 4

(183)

www.thecourier.es

Friday, August 22, 2014

FAG ENDS Smokers search for cheaper puffs

By ALEX TRELINSKI Spanish tobacco sales have collapsed in the wake of the recession, higher prices, and more sophisticated smuggling operations.

The number of Spanish originated packets and pouches has been slashed by nearly half in just five years, according to official Madrid government and cig­ arette industry figures.

While over 90 billion ciga­ rettes were legally sold in Spain just five years ago, the sales in 2013 had folded to 47.5 billion, which is a whopping 47 per cent fall.

The massive downward trend is down to tougher anti­smoking legislation (including the stopping of smoking in bars and restau­ rants), tax hikes and cus­ tomers showing resistance to price hikes, as Spain has fought a recession and record unemployment fig­ ures. All this in turn has led to a spike in tobacco smug­ gling and a search for cheaper alternatives, such as roll­your­own cigarettes and pipe tobacco.

Smokers are turning to low­cost cigarettes, whose manufacturers have been

doing well and already con­ trol a share of over 11 per­ cent of the market. Brands such as Elixyr, Golden America and Winfield cost around four euros a pack, around a euro cheaper com­ pared to regular brands, and they’ve seen a sharp rise in sales despite the low profit margin for the manu­ facturers.

Smuggled cigarettes are another threat to the indus­ try with manufacturers launching a campaign about the way the Spanish econo­ my is being hit by being deprived of taxes. According to a commissioned for the major cigarette manufactur­

ers, 8.8 percent of all tobac­ co consumed in Spain is smuggled in. If you also take into account the packs that a person can legally bring in from the tax­free principality of Andorra, or from Gibraltar on each visit, the proportion of tax­free cigarettes smoked in Spain is now over 11.3 percent, compared with 2.5 percent in 2009. This represents 718 million euros in lost taxes, according to the study.

Around 60 percent of all tobacco seized by the Spanish authorities takes place at the border crossing between Gibraltar and Spain – more than 10 mil­ lion packets in 2013 – although the majority of it is in small quantities. In December 2012, Spanish police confiscated just under half a million packets of cigarettes that had been smuggled into Algeciras port in containers. Tobacco smuggling in Gibraltar between 2010 and 2013 deprived finance ministries across the European Union of an estimated 700 million euros in tax revenue, according to a recent report from the EU’s anti­fraud office, OLAF.

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Friday, August 22, 2014

Are you a snapper? Do you have a great photo? Send it to design@thecourier.es and if we think it is good enough we will publish it as our Picture of the Week TELEPHONE

E­MAIL office@thecourier.es WEB www.thecourier.es HEAD OFFICE Calle Luis Canovas Martinez 1. Urb Aguas Nuevas, Torrevieja 03183, ALICANTE PHONE: 96 692 1003 Email: office@thecourier.es OPENING HOURS Mon ­ Fri 1030 to 1730 EDITOR Alex Trelinski CONSULTANT EDITOR Donna Gee ADVERTISING SALES 966 921 003 office@thecourier.es TELESALES 966 921 003 679 096 309 Sally Los Alcazares, San Javier 618 391 491 Myra Quesada, Rojales, Torrevieja, San Miguel Tel. 618 583 765 Jean La Zenia, Playa Flamenca, Cabo Roig Tel. 618 898 034 Patrick International Rep 5 Languages Tel 685 901 265 Writers Donna Gee Sally Bengtsson Jeanette Erath Alex Trelinski Dave Silver Tony Mayes John McGregor

Picture of the Week

96 692 1003 679 096 309

"Serenity personified" photo by SUSAN WINTERBOURNE

TAPPING INTO ANGER PERVERT JAILED

Residents of San Pedro del Pinatar have clubbed together to pay the water bill of a local family who was given an ulti­ matum to cough up or to go to court. The group of neigh­ bours have alleged heavy handed tactics from Aqualia which has seen struggling families having their water supply cut off, because they’ve not been able to pay their bills. In a protest at the town hall, they said the compa­ ny had not taken into consideration the per­ sonal situation of each case.

The latest victim is a single disabled par­ ent, who has one overdue bill overdue, and who was given two days to either pay it or go to court. The group known as “Asamblea

Agua Pública 100% en San Pedro del Pinatar” claims that cutting the water off goes against the basic human right of having drinking water and drains. With most of the council office closed for the traditional August holiday, the group have collected enough money to pay the bill for this particu­ lar family.

SALES UP, PRICES DOWN

Affiliations

Spanish home sales reached over 30 thousand deals in June, up by over 16 per cent compared to the same month in June

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2013. Smaller properties saw the biggest rises, though house prices averaged around 5.5 per cent less compared to last year.

A sex fiend who repeatedly abused a young boy and girl in Britain has been jailed for 16 years, after being brought back from Spain to face justice more than 30 years on. Burnley Crown Court heard an international arrest warrant was draft­ ed for Allan Jones, 72, after the allegations first came to light in 2011. But it was only in May this year that the former Nelson lorry driver was arrested by police at his home in L’Olleria, halfway between Alcoy and Xativa.

He was held in Valencia initially before being transferred to Madrid, where he spent 32 days in prison before he was flown back to the UK. Jones was initially charged with 25 sex­ ual offences, which date between 1977 to 1984. He admitted seven offences of rape involving a girl, three indecent assault charges and two offences of gross indecency with a child, in relation to the same victim. Jones also pleaded guilty to seven indecent assaults on the same boy. He denied six other offences of rape and two charges of cruelty to a child, which were allowed to remain on the file.

TOP TAXI ACCESS

Torrevieja leads the way in Alicante Province for having the highest number of taxis that have been adapted to cater for disabled passen­ gers. 17 per cent of the fleet has been adapted and it gets a strong thumbs­up from the charity ONCE and from CERMI (Spain's dis­ abled persons committee).

There is a modest minimum requirement figure of five per cent per area where taxis should be fully kitted out for disabled travellers, but besides Torrevieja, only Orihuela (8.1 per cent); Elche (5.7 per cent) and

Benidorm (5.2 per cent) meet the basic requirement in the region. Nationally, only a quarter of municipalities meet the guidelines, which will be enforced by law from 2017.

WANTED – MORE HEADLINE NEWS! DO YOU have a story that might grab the headlines?

What’s all the gossip about round your way? A spate of robberies, perhaps – or maybe you’ve spotted a celebrity in the neighbourhood. Whether your news involves fire, police, ambulance, accidents – or hap­

pier events like family weddings (particularly Golden and Diamond ones!), Just phone the Courier office on 966 921 003 or email office@thecourier.es We’re waiting for your call…and next week’s Front Page story.

Friday Sunny High 29° Low 22° Chance of rain 0%

Saturday Sunny High 29° Low 20° Chance of rain 0%

Sunday Sunny High 28° Low 21° Chance of rain 0%

Wednesday Sunny High 32° Low 23° Chance of rain 41%

Thursday Sunny High 28° Low 23° Chance of rain 0%

Media and Entertainment SL Monday Sunny High 29° Low 22° Chance of rain 0%

Tuesday Sunny High 31° Low 23° Chance of rain 0%

Friday, August 22, 2014

FEATHERS RUFFLED

Over 200 birds have been illegally shot close to the ceme­ tery at El Mirador, just north of San Javier. Police were tipped off by a phone call from a resident who said that she heard gunshots last Saturday morning, with cops surprising a group of unlicensed hunters dressed in camouflage gear.

One of the illegal gunmen alerted one of his colleagues who sped off in his van before being caught later on, with guns and dead birds being discovered in his vehicle. He was arrested along with the others who tried to run away before they were caught and also found with weapons and birds in their cars.

FOX ON THE RUN

The fox is getting a raw deal according to Torrevieja's Green Party, who claim that the animal is being hunted illegally around the La Mata and Torrevieja Natural Park.

The fox is a protected species within the park, with the Greens saying they are concerned that some illegal hunting with dogs may have been going on. They want to find out if any permission has been granted and have asked the Torrevieja Mayor, Eduardo Dolon, who is also chairman of the park's advi­ sory board, to clarify the situ­ ation.

GAME FOR A LAUGH

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COPS HELD UP

DRUGS SHOCKER

Three Columbians decided to steal a car in the Cartagena area last Saturday, but they didn’t know that two undercover National Police officers were sitting in it! The armed robbers struck at around 5.30pm, and the two policemen with guns pointing in their faces, were forced to handover everything they had, before one of the gang members drove the VW Golf away, with his accomplices fleeing in two other cars.

Red­faced authorities say that the gang seem to be working around the Mar Menor and La Manga area.

Nearly one in four drivers on Spain's roads are under the influence of drugs, according to shock figures from the high­ ways and motoring authority. For every 100 motorists pulled over for random saliva tests, 36 showed up positive results ­ or 3,600 this year out of the 10,000 or so carried out. And when standard testing is carried out at the site of a crash, the figure rises to half ­ only 50 per cent of results were negative.

The head of the General Directorate of Traffic (DGT), María Seguí says these statistics are a source of 'great con­ cern' for her department, which has been claiming for many months that consumption of illegal drugs by drivers was on the up. This is why twice as many drug tests have been car­ ried out in 2014 as last year.

Drink­driving is becoming more rare, with only two per cent of drivers breathalysed found to have consumed alcohol, but Sra Seguí says this is not such a low figure as it sounds. Of the three million breathalysed so far in 2014, the 2% means a total of 60,000.

POOL DEATH

A 93 year old British man died in a private swimming pool in San Miguel de Salinas on Wednesday, according to reports from the Guardia Civil. The tragedy happened in the morning at a villa though the cause of death was not known as The Courier went to press, or whether the man lived there or was on holiday.

PLEASE MR.POSTMAN

Orihuela’s acting Mayor, Antonio Zapata, has sent a formal letter asking the postal service, Correos, to maintain doorstep deliveries The El Raso despite their plans to area of Guardamar scrap them in five areas is set for a poten­ of the Orihuela Costa area from Monday September 1st. tial leap in new Home deliveries will be restricted to multi­box units for La buildings after all Zenia I & II, Campoamor, Cabo Roig, and La Regia, with res­ the political parties idents being forced to pick up mail from Playa Flamenca Post on the local council Office if they do not have a multi­box unit. The council wants gave the green the deliveries to continue whilst they wait for the final result light for an amendment to the municipality's General Plan. A of the legal action that they are taking. series of lengthy legal wrangles involving the land­owners led to a court decision upholding their right to build, with the council implementing the verdict, which affects the area close to the La Mata park. In theory, the two companies that own the 22 plots of land can go ahead with building 1,500 homes along with specific tourist accommodation and hotels. The Plan is now being submitted for public consultation.

EL RASO BOOM?

DON’T FENCE ME IN

Alicante tram passengers got extra value for their fares recently, when a man got on board, and stripped to his under­ wear before doing a dance. Travellers on a rush hour tram in the San Vicente del Raspeig area watched open­mouthed as Cristian Galera started stripping whilst dancing to You Can Leave Your Hat On, which was made famous in The Full Monty movie.

At the end of the performance, greeted with applause and laughter, he was left wearing only a pair of black boxer shorts. Galera’s dance was a dare as he’s a member of RandomLife, a group of three friends who carry out chal­ lenges laid by their Twitter followers. Apart from the latest tram dare, they have taken on challenges including breaking computer keyboards over their heads and escorting women along the street with open umbrellas. Possible future chal­ lenges are said to include a beachfront bike ride in a g­string!

EXTINGUISHED

Firefighters had to put out a fire on the Orihuela Costa on Tuesday afternoon, which started in a fuel tank next to a tree.

The blaze started at around 5.00pm next to the Las Ramblas golf course. Planes were brought in extinguish the blaze and to prevent it spreading to local woodland.

RECORD BREAKER

More confirma­ tion of the dry weather and lack of rain has come from the University of Alicante. The head of climatology department, Jorge Olcina, has said that the first six months of the year has been the driest expe­ rienced in Alicante City since weather records were first intro­ duced and kept in 1857, with just 27 litres of rainfall.

An illegal fence that has blocked off an Orihuela Costa path is to be taken down after a court ruling. The structure on the Bellavista urbanisation blocked access between Aguamarina and Cabo Roig, and has been the subject of a lengthy legal battle to have it removed. The residents have a short period of time to take it down or else the Orihuela coun­ cil will do work themselves and pass a bill of close to two thousand euros onto them.

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Friday, August 22, 2014

HEAD ON

Two people were seriously injured after a head­on collision between two cars on the Elche to Santa Pola road last Friday morning. The accident happened at 11.30am on the fringes of Elche, with both drivers, a 30 year old man and a 27 year old woman, being taken to Elche Hospital.

BABYLON RISES

KEEP IT CLEAN

Smokers are being given plastic ashtrays before going on the beach, as one of the initiatives to improve the environ­ ment by young volunteers across the Vega Baja. The annual push from 'Voluntariado Ambiental Verano" started in 1996 and will run until the start of September, with some 40 volun­ teers hitting local beaches and tourist spots, warning visitors about the dangers of starting fires and raising their aware­ ness of keeping a clean area.

LIFE ON THE OCEAN WAVE

Around 100 residents in the Babylon beach area of Guardamar took to the sand last Friday to protest about they say is a lack of attention being paid to facilities in the area because of the Coastal Law. They claim help is given to regenerate and improve other areas whilst improvements are not made to where they live.

SWIMMERS SAVED

A father and his son were saved from drowning at a San Pedro del Pinatar beach last Saturday. The 40 year old man and eight year old boy were struggling to reach the shore at la Playa de la Torre Derribada after 6.00pm, as onlookers called in the emergency services. The father needed to be resuscitated, but both he and his son were soon out of dan­ ger and were taken to Los Arcos Hospital for a check­up.

Torrevieja's tourism chiefs have launched a new edition of their guide that promotes all the water­based activities that are available around the city. Five thousand copies of the Torrevieja Nautical Experience have been printed and will be available from local tourist offices and hotels as well as from the participating companies that offer a wide range of activi­ ties including diving, wind surfing and boat trips. Details can also be obtained via the website, www.torreviejanauticalex­ perience.com

FLYING HIGH

Alicante­Elche airport is the third busiest airport in Spain for low cost carriers, beaten only by Barcelona and Malaga.

Official figures show that over 2 million passengers used budget airlines for the first seven months of the year at the El Altet facility, a rise of 6.6 per cent over the same time last year. Malaga had 2.3 million travellers, and Barcelona was way ahead of the budget pack at 4.5 million journeys. Over 37 per cent of the total Spanish low cost market was accounted for by UK passengers, with an annual rise of 7.4 per cent.

FRIED FISH

Weather conditions, led by a lack of rain, has caused thou­ sands of fish to die in the Santa Pola area. The water levels have been low at the Parque Natural de las Salinas with a combination of the recent hot temperatures making it difficult for the fish to get enough oxygen to live. The Agrícola El Pantanet company say that they have lost some 200 thou­ sand euros in revenue because of the lower stocks, with 30 thousand kilos of fish like mullet, carp, sea bass, and eel being affected.

A FINE TIME PALMED OFF

Spanish coffers have been boosted to the tune of 182 million Euros in traffic fines in the first half of 2014. The fig­ ures up to mid­July show that over 20 million Euros came from the Valencia region, including the Costa Blanca.

CAUGHT IN THE CAMPO A young Torrevieja driver escaped with just minor shock late last Saturday night when a palm tree collapsed onto his car. He was motoring down Avenida Vista Alegre close to the Coralista Monument in Torrevieja at 11.00pm when the tree fell onto the back of the vehicle, with fortunately no passen­ gers in the rear seats. Major traffic delays hit the area for over half an hour as authorities removed the offending palm.

TAXING TIME

The average Spanish worker More than 400 arrests have been made in the Murcia spends six months' Region in the first year of a new unit that fights against the wages on taxes stealing of farm products and equipment. A 16­strong before they are able Guardia Civil team is one of 15 in Spain specialising in rural to spend their earn­ crime, with a 30 per cent rise in the number of people being ings on bills, food, detained for such infractions. mortgage or rent and general enjoyment, a recent survey has revealed. And tax hikes mean employees and the self­ Nearly a thousand palm employed need to work an extra nine days and spend a fur­ ther 747 euros than they did in 2010, says the think tank trees on the River Segura corridor between Murcia City Civismo.

Typically, every cent earned each year up to and including and Guardamar have had to July 3rd goes on taxes, since workers spend the first 102 be removed this year after days of their salaries on Social Security (national insurance) being infected by the red weevil, The payments, the next 41 days on income tax or IRPF, a further palm 25 days if they are self­employed on IVA, or value­added tax Confederación Hidrográfica – irrespective of their turnover – and a final five days for del Segura (CHS) have had to fell 941 diseased trees other, miscellaneous taxes.

Of the extra 747 euros it costs the average worker every since February in an exten­ year now in taxes, 116 euros go in income tax or IRPF, 193 sive operation with over half euros in relation to the IVA hike in 2010 when the top rate of the casualties being in the rose from 16% to 18%, plus a further 370 euros for the 2012 Orihuela municipality. In total, the CHS have planted four and IVA rise from 18% to 21%. The final 68 euros relate to prop­ a half thousand trees since the nineties, and the local munic­ erty tax or IBI, car tax, and other 'special taxes' such as those ipalities will be helping to pay for the cost of the replanting that will be needed. on petrol, electricity, and alcohol and so on.

PESKY WEEVILS

MURCIA BOOST

Murcia’s Tourist Information Offices have had over 150 thousand people going through their doors in the first four months of 2014, including the office in San Javier (pictured).

That’s an increase of eight per cent compared to the same period last year, with 40 per cent of inquiries coming from Spaniards from other parts of the country, along with 22 per cent being foreign visitors to the region.

BEACHES BLACKED

Forget the blue flag awards for clean beaches, as a region­ al environmental group has been handing out their own black flags to areas on the Costa Blanca that they claim have exceeded quotas on pollution and water quality. A large part of the region gets slammed by the Ecologistas en Acción del País Valencià, with beaches at Arenales de Elche, Santa Pola, Guardamar and Torrevieja amongst those "blacked" by the campaigners. They say they compiled the list based on their experiences coupled with the "limited information" they could get from the Environment Ministry.

Friday, August 22, 2014

CORVERA DATE SLIPS…..AGAIN! The first flights to use the new Corvera Airport facility will not be before March 2015 at the earliest, accord­ ing to Murcia's Public Works Minister, Manuel Campos.

The latest revision comes after predictions of an early autumn opening, and then a subsequent comment from Campos that the airport would be operational in December, even if there are no flights. The minister claimed that all necessary permits would be obtained by the end of the year, and predicted that the European Commission would rule pos­ itively in October over the legality of a Murcia

Government loan to Corvera operator, Aeromur. A meet­ ing is also scheduled early next month with San Javier operator, AENA, over their

claim for compensation in regard putting in a new run­ way at a cost of 60 million euros a few years ago at the coastal airport.

ABREAST OF THE ARREST

A Venezuelan woman boobed when he she tried to smuggle in drugs which were hidden in her breast implants.

She had flown into Madrid air­ port with 1.7 kilos of cocaine which had been out in her expanded breasts, but Guardia Civil drugs officers started to get suspicious by her behaviour, and stopped her on a routine search.

After a baggage search revealed nothing, female offi­ cers conducted a body search of the 43­year­old woman and discovered irregularities and deformations in both breasts. At that moment, the suspect started to act nervously and confessed that she was carrying implants with cocaine inside. She

was taken to a hospital where the implants were removed and found to contain 1.7 kilos of the drug. So far this year, in Madrid airport alone, the Guardia has seized around 500 kilos of cocaine and six kilos of heroin, and have made 189 arrests

SELFIE DESTRUCTION

Five friends had a photo they will never forget after falling off a terrace whilst tak­ ing a "selfie". Three were admitted to hos­ pital in a critical condition after the incident in the resort of Sitges in Catalunya.

Emergency services say they were sitting on a railing on the edge of a roof terrace at the property of one of the injured, a block comprising a ground floor and first floor.

The railing broke while they were in the middle of photographing themselves. All five live in Sitges and are aged in their for­ ties.

EBOLA SCARE

A Nigerian man in his thirties was given the all­ clear on Sunday after a scare that he might be suffering from the deadly Ebola virus. He was admitted to Alicante General Hospital suffer­ ing from a fever amongst other things, but was then transferred to San Juan on Saturday, which is the designated unit in the city for dealing with potential Ebola cases.

His sister was him when he was taken to San Juan (pictured arriving) but she was not admitted as a patient, telling doc­ tors that her brother had arrived in Spain “a few days ago”.

The Valencia region health department said that "the samples from the man analysed by the Microbiology Institute hade tested negative for the Ebola virus". A Spanish priest, 75 year old mission­

ary Miguel Pajares, became the first European to die from Ebola in a Madrid hos­ pital last week as a result of the current out­ break in West Africa.

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Friday, August 22, 2014

editor@thecourier.es COURIER POSTBAG: YOUR VIEWS ON OUR NEWS FE racing revolution ready to go into overdrive

New shop spells Chinese torture MOST people who live in the Campoamor area will have seen the monstrosity that is the new Chinese bazaar shop .

While you are buying items that may well break the very next day, please spare a thought for the residents around it. For the past six months we have endured hours of building work, bulldoz­ ers, piling machines and the like, all day every day from 8am till at least 8 pm. Not to mention the amount of dust and dirt.

Now it has finally opened, it looks like we will be fighting a constant battle with rubbish that they do not take away. This picture shows rubbish that has been there since Saturday and is mounting daily. It is at the back door attracting rats, stray cats etc, and considering that this is also a food store, it makes me wonder just how suitable they are to be handling

food.

I read a while ago about the same problem with their other store on Cabo Roig regarding rubbish and it looks like it will be the same here. Why don’t the council do anything about it? I will for­ ward this letter to them as well.

Anyone who says we need another Chinese store must be mad. They all sell the same rubbish and we definitely do not need a bazaar on every street cor­ ner. I know the Chinese have invested heavily in Spain, but we need to wake up and realise that it is us the ordinary peo­ ple who are repaying that debt.

NAME and address withheld, Orihuela Costa Some of the contents of this let­ ter have been omitted since the sentiments contained strong ele­ ments of racism ­ Editor

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FERALISATION PLAN TO END SUFFERING

Pets in Spain launch cat control campaign

WITH so many feral cat colonies not being man­ aged, their size is growing exponentially.

So is the suffering of the ani­ mals due to inbreeding and the lack of any veterinary care.

The Pets In Spain animal charity has started a new long­ term project specifically aimed at the ‘Sterilisation of Feral Cats’.

The control and sterilisation of street cats is an important

Avenida Londres, La Marina urbanisation. For a Sat Nav device enter this address: Calle Parque Guadalquivir 3, San Fulgencio, 03177 Alicante.

To become a long­term sup­ porter, a monthly donator or sponsor for the charity, please send an email to: info@petin­ spain.info or call (0034) 645 469 253.

Donations to the charity for the ‘Feral Cats’ project can be made either by Paypal via PAY­

issue in many communities. At recent meetings with local councillors, charity volunteers were informed that there are no funds available from local authorities to help prevent a feral cat population explosion.

The Pets In Spain animal charity has now decided to take the initiative and open their second charity shop which will be exclusively to raise funds for this new project, the suc­ cess of which will depend upon donations and new sponsors of

PAL: info@petsinspain.info or by direct bank transfer to Pets in Spain.

BANK Sabadell. IBAN: ES14 0081 0687 7700 0168 1672.

SWIFT/BIC: BSAB ESBB The charity’s web site is www.petsinspain.net Our thanks on behalf of the animals.

MARK LEWIS, Charity secre­ tary and animal welfare coordi­ nator, Pets In Spain Animal Charity. CIF: G54669262. www.petsinspain.net

In just 18 months this female can have 2,000 descendants’ the charity for this cause.

An appeal has been launched for unwanted household and other items that can be sold to

help raise funds specifically for this long­term project.

The new Feral Cats Pets in Spain charity shop is in

‘Cats cannot add but they do multiply...’

IS there any chance that the Courier and the Costas’ mul­ titude of high­energy, indus­ trious media outlets will final­ ly break their silence and dedicate some print­space and air­time to the game­ changing, all­electric FIA race series that kicks off in Beijing ­ around the Olympic Stadium ­ on September 13?

Many legendary (ex­F1) names and racing family dynasties are fully and pas­ sionately involved in ‘FE’ ­ think Andretti, Hill (Damon, Graham), Williams(Frank), Michelin, Senna...

Surprisingly, one of the key driving­forces behind the series is the amiable Spanish ex­F1, Madrid­born maverick Alejandro Agag.

Richard Branson and Leonardo DiCaprio have both entered teams ­ but don't let that put you off !

The climate's changing ­ ditto the racing world. Sea­ levels and CO2 levels may be rising but exciting, inspir­ ing solutions are on the hori­ zon.

Let's face it ­ this is a con­ test that the world's Canutes just can't win (Clarkson included).

So please, guys and gals ­ it might not be too late ­ Formula E's champions deserve your support and applause.

For more, please see EVUK, FiaFormulaE.com and Current­e.com (Youtube is already fully stoked, revved and charged up with pre­race clips a­gogo).

Brace yourselves for Beijing and a futuristic, revo­ lutionary race­against­time.

We can all be winners with Formula E (but my money's on DiCaprio...or maybe Audi).

PAUL GOVAN editor@EVUK.co.uk Ciudad Quesada & Glos/Chelt EVUK Electric Vehicles UK EVUK.co.uka

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Friday, August 22, 2014

IT'S common knowledge that I'm no fan of Ryanair – and I doubt there's anything the Irish fly­boys can do to change my feelings.

MONARCH RYANAIR

Even their outspoken boss Michael O'Leary admits his company has ‘p***ed off’ too many pas­ sengers, which suggests he has finally realised that customer relations is a vital part of a company’s image and consequently its success.

Perhaps he should look at a rival airline like Monarch, who treated me so royally earlier this sum­ mer that I felt like a queen.

Ryanair’s business ethic is based on price – which is clearly what matters most to the vast majority of travellers.

They´ll queue all day rather than fork out that extra tenner for priority boarding and a reserved seat.

On my few trips with the O'Leary line, I thought I’d get the best of both worlds by paying for priority treatment.

And all went well until I fell foul of their devious handbag scam.

My heinous crime cost me a €50 fine. It also lost O'Leary a potential regular customer...for life.

I believe Ryanair have now relaxed the ludicrous ‘one item only’ rule, which forced women to jam their handbags into their hand lug­ gage.

Michael O’Leary It operated purely between the departure gate and blend of good value and boarding the plane, at which good service is much more point the cabin would be hit effective.

As a Ryanair passenger, by gangway gridlock and the mass reappearance of hand­ I felt like a pauper. Now I travel by royal ascent with Monarch and feel like a princess.

I pay a little more for my bags.

O’Leary’s change of heart seat, but the fear of falling foul of petty rules has gone. is no consolation to me.

The way I was singled out The cabin crew last time I and humiliated ranks among flew were a perfect example the most embarrassing expe­ of what customer relations are all about ­ and why riences of my life.

Indeed, the abrupt hostility Monarch are my No.1 for of the boarding steward who fined me is something I will never forget.

I was so traumatised that the easy option, creating flights to and from the UK. Cabin chief Vicky Toll and space for my handbag by­ dumping the Jeremy her colleagues were so Clarkson hardback I’d happy and helpful that I did bought in a charity shop for something I have never £3, didn’t even cross my done before. I wrote and told their bosses. mind.

The special treatment So I reluctantly forked out €50 ­ and forked off began early in the flight as into the welcoming arms of the pre­booked hot meals were being distributed. I their rivals.

That is evidence enough was hungry and ushered that low fares alone do not Vicky over as she passed create happy customers. A my aisle seat halfway down

The top and bottom of customer relations the cabin.

“I presume it's too late to book a meal now,’’' I said to her.

“I'm afraid so, madam,’’ smiled Vicky. '”But I can get you a hot baguette if that helps’’.

Within a couple of minutes I was tucking into a tasty toastie.

The ‘can't do enough to help’ attitude persisted throughout the flight, with Vicky’s infectious enthusi­ asm rubbing off on her col­ leagues Jacqueline, Lyndsey, Nadia and Paul.

Now I'm not saying Ryanair's service is bad.

But I suspect the O'Leary book of cabin­crew com­ mands places customer satisfaction some way behind flogging scratch­ cards and that irritating jin­ gle informing us we've landed on time.

What the jingle doesn’t say is that the schedule invari­ ably allows at least half an hour more than the flight actually takes.

Ryanair ostracised me for life by hitting me with that €50 fine for an ‘offence’ which has since been removed from their rulebook.

Until last year, women travelling with Ryanair were not permitted to carry a handbag as well as hand lug­ gage from the boarding gate to the plane.

With only one piece of hand luggage allowed, I jammed my handbag into my main case, making it margin­ ally too wide to fit in their entrapment rack. Cue bad­ mannered Ryanair agent to

COURIER POSTBAG EXTRA FANCY having your own private magi­ cian for the evening? Tricks and treats for the family and friends, conjured by a man who has performed in front of the Royal Family at Windsor Castle?

Well, Jon Tremaine, who charges £250 (plus expenses) in the UK, is auc­ tioning himself for charity. And you could play the trump card at a fraction of that price. Imagine the scenario. Your guests have just enjoyed a superb meal and draw their chairs around Jon, whose

Close­up Magic Show is ideally suited for groups of up to 40 people.

As one would expect from a veteran member of the Magic Circle (he joined 57 years ago), the Almoradi­based expat (pictured right) is a true professional. The first thing he does is remove his jacket and roll up his shirt sleeves ­ so there’s no hiding place for cheap tricks.

All bids by email to sueinthesun@hot­ mail.co.uk (reserve of €50).

SUSAN READER

Dear Monarch...

Monarch’s Vicky Toll...she and her colleagues were amazing

I FLEW from Alicante to Manchester recently and was so taken by the happy and helpful disposition of the cabin crew that I want to say a special thank you.

My health is not too good and they simply couldn't do enough for me. The nicest and brightest cabin crew I have ever travelled with, for sure.

What shone through was that this was a really happy crew because everyone seemed to be smiling from the moment we boarded until the moment we dis­ embarked.

DONNA GEE, Guardamar

Dear Donna...

relieve me instantly of cash.

Ryanair supporters argue: ''It serves you right if you didn't abide by the their rules.''

My response is that the prime reason for that hand­ bag rule was to raise money to subsidise low fares. Every woman needs a handbag.

A HUGE thank you for your feedback and I am delight­ ed to hear that you had such a great flight with us.

Our crew really do go that extra mile to ensure our customers receive an exceptional on­board serv­ ice and I am pleased you were able to experience this first hand.

I know that Vicky and her crew will be overjoyed to read your wonderful com­ ments and I will ensure And what better than to make these are passed on to her squeeze it in with every­ them.

Thanks again for taking thing else at the best place the time to recognise the for an easy­money scam – efforts of our crew, and we namely, the departure gate? hope to be able to welcome Unfortunately, Ryanair you back on board with us saw sense €50 too late to soon. prevent this old bag and her LINDA LATIMER, luggage winging off to a rival.

Cabin Crew Regional And I feel fine about it.

Manager, North

editor@thecourier.es WHEN we first came to Spain a number of years ago, we had heard horror stories of the big funeral providers and in fact later experienced the trauma of the mayhem caused when a friend died.

We chose Rocamer ­ a Spanish funeral policy. W did not need to use it until a few days ago, when a friend died suddenly. The service we got was first rate, from making

one call to Keith, our agent, every­ thing was taken care of with all our wishes fulfilled.

The flowers were beautiful and the minister who conducted the service gave us a beautiful cere­ mony incorporating all our wishes.

Every ex­pat needs a company like this to lead us through the Spanish system at the most stress­ ful event we have to face.

H and C PETRIE, Daya Nueva

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Friday, August 22, 2014

Friday, August 22, 2014

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Friday, August 22, 2014

MY DOG’S NO STAR

My first dog Brian used to sink into a sulk around March of every year. And I knew why. It was because I had not entered him into Crufts.

Why the daft mongrel reck­ oned he should ever figure in the world's most prestigious canine show I shall never know. Maybe he had delu­ sions of grandeur. Anyway, Brian became a different ani­ mal every March when it dawned on him that once again he had missed an opportunity to sniff fame and success.

How pathetic Brian looked, spread­eagled on the kitchen floor and looking ever so sad.

However, he was my dog and it was down to me to ease his distress. I knew it was my responsibility because Mrs S said so.

'Our Brian needs you to show him love,' she said, lift­ ing the mutt from the lino and placing him gently on the sofa. 'The poor pooch is so miserable,' Mrs S went on . . . and on. 'Why don't you do

something worthwhile for once in your life and jolly our Brian out of his low mood.'

I thought deeply for a split­ second. 'How the heck do you make a dog laugh? Shall I tell him a joke?'

'Don't be obtuse,' Mrs S said. 'Just use your initiative.'

So I used my initiative and fled to the pub.

'A shandy, please, and you wouldn't believe the aggrava­ tion I'm getting at home,' I said to Dave the barman.

'That's why I never married,' Dave the barman said to me.

'Sometimes I'd like to live on my own, too,' I sighed.

'Who said I live on my own?' said mein host. 'I've got my Shandy to keep me compa­ ny.'

'But that's my shandy!' I pointed out, snatching the drink off the bar. 'I prom­ ise to pay for it later.'

'Not YOUR shandy!'

Dave the barman exclaimed. 'MY Shandy.

That's the name of my dog!'

'Oh,' I said, feeling slightly ill after downing my drink in

one gulp because I'd feared it 'Something's niggling at would be snatched from me. me,' I said to Dave the bar­ 'Anyway, I'm off dogs. man. 'Why call your pooch Miserable creatures.'

Shandy? It's an unusual 'That's how much you name for a mutt unless it's know,' sniffed mein host. 'You something to do with the hair want to see my Shandy's of the dog.' face light up when I tell him a Dave the barman chuck­ joke.' led. 'Actually, his name is not I fled the pub and was really Shandy. It's Sandy. It halfway home when I just so happens realised that something was that the guy at niggling at me. I swivelled on my heels and returned to the hostelry.

the kennels was drunk when I negotiated the sale. Still, my Shandy's been worth every penny of the shixty­shix pounds the inebriated bloke asked for.'

I paid Dave the barman for my drink and ordered a sec­ ond sandy, I mean shandy. 'I still say that it's a daft name for a dog,' I grumbled.

I turned to my fellow mem­ bers of the pub discussion group. 'Don't you agree, fellers?' I asked. 'Who, apart from our ever­so­smart bar­ man, would name their pets after booze?'

'Well, I once had a dog called Brandy,' commented Daft Barry.

'And our dog was called Whisky,' said Fearful Phil.

'My pooch was called Hooch,' yelled Fag Ash Bill from the pave­ ment outside.

'Okay, okay,' I said and trudged off home with my tail between my legs.

My dog Brian was still stretched out on the

sofa. Feeling guilty, I offered him a doggy chocolate but he turned his face away and stared solemnly at the ceil­ ing. Then he lifted a limp paw and indicated in the direction of the back garden.

'I'm sorry, pal,' I said. 'But digging up earthworms will not guarantee you entry into the working group section at Crufts.'

I plonked myself down on the sofa and stroked Brian's ears. 'Just answer me one question?' I said to him. 'In all honesty, how the heck can I enter you into any presti­ gious dog competition? Only your mum and dad know what breed you are and goodness knows where they are now. They probably live in a pub with a load of idiots.'

Brian adopted a pleading look. 'Okay,' I promised. 'I'll start looking for your parents tomorrow.'

That night I sank into a troubled sleep and dreamed that I owned a dog who drank red wine. I think the animal was a Bordeaux Collie.

Friday, August 22, 2014

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Friday, August 22, 2014

BILLY’S BOND WITH MUM I’ve not been around in Spain for the last few weeks, as my life was crushed at 7.20pm on July 28th, when my dear mother passed away.

She was and is every­ thing to me. She raised my sister and I on her own, having 13 jobs at once to try and keep us clothed, fed and a roof over our head.

This despite having a nerv­ ous breakdown along the way. She truly was an inspi­ ration and the last few weeks have been desper­ ate. I have never known pain like it, and some days I feel I can hardly breath, I miss her so much. When I was younger, I could not bear to be without mum for one second. You could say that I was very similar to a dog who suffered from severe separation anxiety.

To be without mum was my worst nightmare. I used to cry myself to sleep when she had to go out and work.

My mum truly was my angel. She never once judged me, and she just

always stuck by me with the most fierce loyalty I have ever witnessed. No matter what I did, all mum gave me was the most beautiful unconditional love I could ever have asked for. We had an almost telepathic understanding and we were similar in so many ways.

Both of us were loners who did not let people in easily.

Both of us could see through people quicker than they knew themselves!

Both of us hated people telling us what to do, proba­ bly because that was all we got from most people.

Mum was an animal lover too, having been brought up on a farm on the west coast of Ireland. She use to look after Billy, my German Shepherd, when he was a puppy and I had to go out to work.

Billy adored her. He saved mum once, when she fell over in our garden, while looking after him. She was too badly hurt to get up and he would not stop bark­ ing until the neighbours

MY BEAUTIFUL MUM realised something was wrong and they gladly called an ambulance and mum recovered in hospital.

I remember once when mum and I, along with Billy, went shopping one day and mum had to pop into a

shop while me and Billy waited outside. He howled the high street down until she finally reappeared from the shop! Mum taught me with a passion, all of the qualities you should have in this life, like empathy, compassion, loyalty and love and for that I am forev­ er grateful.

Today the Friday August 22nd is the day of mum’s funeral in London. It will be the toughest day of my entire life and goodbye is something I am not going to say. Because I know that we were so desperately close as mother and son, that she will not let me walk alone. I know she will be constantly be by my side.

I have had days since mum died, where it is even hard work for me to get up out of a chair.

My wife and dogs have helped me greatly. I remember the other night, Betty, a dog I have written about on these pages, came up to me and put her two front legs on mine. She

looked at me with pure devotion as if to say, “thank you so much for saving my life”. When she did this, I looked back at her and thought to myself, that I am to her what my mum was to me. So I have to keep strong for all of the dogs we have saved and are looking after. They need me just like I will always need my mum. www.thedogyouneed.co m is a registered charity, where we rehabilitate the most severely abused ani­ mals. Our charity registra­ tion number is 1157175. If you would be kind enough to donate anything to this special cause you can do

by Paypal, where the account details are peter@thedogyouneed.co m or to our Nat West chari­ ty account, where the sort code is 60­16­03 and the account number is 73754900. Even one euro will help, so please, please, try and support us. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

PETS’ CORNER: CAN YOU TAKE IN A HOMELESS DOG OR CAT? Perla is ready for a per­ manent home. She has been fostered now for sev­ eral months, as from time to time she was anxious and started chasing her tail and biting it.

She has had her tail removed as it was broken, and she has also been treat­ ed for an inflamed eardrum.

We have found a homeo­ pathic remedy to help Perla.

She will need to take it all her life at a cost of 10 euros a month.

Perla She needs a special per­ son that will have time to spend with her, and help her to get over her past experi­ ences Please contact Cats n Dogs Aid Assoc.

Tel:616655789 Email; info@catsndog­ said.com. Website www.cat­ sndogsaid.com Rosa is a lovely natured pretty 2yr old little dog (8kgs) with no hang­ups.

She’s very affectionate and very happy to see new peo­ ple, excellent around other dogs and cats. She loves

Rosa

going out for a walk, is good on the lead and stays near­ by when off the lead. She never wanders off. To find out more about Rosa please ring the PEPA helpline on 650 304 746 or email p.e.p.a.animalcharity@gmai l.com Cleo was found aban­ doned in a small town. She is now happily in foster care in a loving household with various other dogs, pups and cats. Cleo is a happy playful pup that settled in her foster home straight­ away. She has no malice in her and is intelligent and quick to learn. She’s affec­ tionate towards people and for such a young pup is very obedient.

To find out more about Cleo please ring the PEPA helpline on 650 304 746 or

email p.e.p.a.animalchari­ ty@gmail.com RUFO is three years an Ihaso mix. He is castrated and leishmania free. He has his bags packed ­ Could you offer him a for­ ever home?

Rufo

If you could offer him a home please contact us at Last Hope Dog Rescue, our email is lasthopedogrescue@out­ look.com, tel no 634065540.

Poor FUDGE hasn´t been very lucky, he has been adopted twice and returned to the kennels twice through no fault of his own, so we

Fudge

Cleo

are hoping it will be third time lucky for Fudge and he will find a forever home soon. He is a small cross­ breed, weighing around 8.5 kilos, although he does

need to put on a little weight and still young at 11 months old; a very happy, affection­ ate boy who is fully vaccinat­ ed, micro chipped and cas­ trated. Please contact the kennels directly on 966710047 or email info@satanimalrescue.com Zac’s owner sadly a few months ago and he is des­ perate to find a new home.

He is a Mastin x Labrador, around 7 years old, neutered, chipped and good

Zac with other dogs, cats and children. Call: 645 469 253. www.petsinspain.com Storm is an 8 month old Belgium Shepherd cross.

He was rescued as a small puppy and has been living with other dogs and cats.

He is chipped, vaccinat­ ed and Storm neutered.

Call: 645 469 253. www.petsinspain.com Amber is around 2 years

This beautiful Belgium Shepherd cross pup is 1 of 6 that were dumped when they were just 4 weeks old

Amber old and was brought to us after she jumped into a ladies car in Quesada.

Amber is extremely friendly and will give kisses to every­ one she meets. She weighs just 5 kilos and will make someone a wonderful com­ panion. Call: 645 469 253. www.petsinspain.com

beside the road. They are now around 7 weeks old, all identical and desperate for new homes, there are 3 girls and 3 boys. Call: 645 469 253. www.petsinspain.com

Friday, August 22, 2014

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Friday, August 22, 2014

OUR HAPPY SUMMER The week is flying by and my daughters and their friend are having a great time enjoying everything Spain has to offer. We have man­ aged to fit in Terra Mitica, Rio Safari, a few visits to the beach and shops and many happy hours around the pool. We even man­ aged to get in an evening at a local Moors and Christians festival, and though my girls had seen one last year in Almoradí, it was a new experience for their friend, Lydia.

She stood with the four of us mesmerised by the fabulous costumes and thumping music! It is one of the experiences of Spanish life that should not be missed whilst on holiday in Spain, and although most of the fiestas tend to happen in June and July, it is still possible to find ones into August as we did. Then on the way home from this particular fiesta, we were treated to a colourful firework display brightening up the dis­ tant sky. To cap it all, a Chinese meal finished off a traditional Spanish evening!

It has been a slightly more relaxed holiday this year for us all, as it helps that I am in this house, whereas last year we were all squeezed into my compact flat with barely room to swing a cat let alone have a whole family wandering around as they please. Having the private pool is also a bonus:­ no feeling of eyes baring down at us and no effort in having to obey the rules; in fact quite the opposite, because in my pool this year there have been floating devices of all shapes and sizes! Whether we wanted to relax on a chair or ride a whale, it´s all been possible this year.

I´m going to miss having the girls here, even though they

have turned the house upside down with their clothes, make up, etc. and I don´t even want to think about the clear up operation around the pool, I may have to spend the whole day with plastic bags and lots of hot soapy water but as long as they all had fun that´s what´s important. What matters to me is that they have had a break; a holiday leaving behind the stresses of school and have been able to get away from it all, even for just a couple of weeks.

If I had these weeks over again, I wouldn´t change a thing.

My girls and Lydia have been a delight to have in our house, the only possibility for making it even better would be more time together, but as I have a shorter time with them this year, I have made sure to enjoy it as much as I can, and I hope the girls have too and can go back to school full of stories, showing their photo­ graphs which they have been putting on the internet regularly, and proudly displaying their new tans.

I knew this time would pass quickly, I have been thinking about this since they left last summer, and actively planning it for about a month before they came when I started clear­ ing and cleaning, preparing the rooms, arranging what they would need and looking forward to this time like a child in the weeks before Christmas, with wide eyes full of excitement.

Once it´s over I won´t be too sad, I know I´ll see them again soon and time will once again fly by until I´m back on the plane, this time tak­ ing my little man to the UK for a visit but I also know there is a lot of work to be getting on with before then. Once they leave, everything will start in preparation for the new academic year, making sure I have everything possible to make mine and my son’s lives here as good as possible.

It´s been a great season, and even though my girls will soon be gone and their summer will revert to rain and strong winds, my summer is only halfway through and I will continue to enjoy what´s left. I hope all of you reading this have a great remainder of August and a fantastic last third of 2014.

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Friday, August 22, 2014

MULTI-FAITH BUNKUM I was chatting to a couple of holidaying teenagers last week and we got onto the subjects that they were studying in British schools, and was interest­ ed to hear that religious education was still on their timetable.

Religious teaching (or as my secondary school called it, Divinity) in my day was as boring as sin, but the

teenagers told me that they were taught about Islam in addition to Christianity. I asked them whether the his­ tory of other faiths like Buddhism was taught and was answered in the nega­ tive. Apparently, Muslim par­ ents had insisted to changes in the lessons in their area and were not happy about Christian values dominating!

Imagine that happening

here in Spain or in France?

Last I checked, the UK was a Christian country and this kind of pandering over the decades has created the mess and resentment that we are now getting. Within my Polish community in the Midlands, there was a Saturday morning school back in the sixties organised by refugees teaching Catholicism, as well as

Polish history, language and culture. Nobody blinked an eye­lid over what British schools were offering, because if you move to a country, you abide by their rules. But for the last gener­ ation or so, we have had a constant “bending over backwards” to certain minorities, at the exclusion of other minorities, as well as the silent majority. Can any of the politicians please explain how Britain has been improved by all this pandering, and why we are getting a stream of young idiots (apparently wonderful­ ly educated) heading off to join terrorist organisations that, according to David Cameron, could end up “tar­ geting people” on British streets?

Far away on the other side of the world, Australia (a country that I love and do some broad­ casting for) is in a bit of a mess, under it’s controver­ sial Prime Minister, Tony Abbott. There are plenty of

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problems down under that he needs to look at, but he’s decided to tell Scotland in an interview with The Times newspaper that they should not vote for independence next month. He said that it would be hard to see “how the world would be helped by an independent Scotland”. I’m not quite sure what the vote has to do with him or how genuinely up with the issues he is, but it has been a gift for Alex Salmond and his pro­inde­ pendence campaign. The First Minister said that Abbott’s comments were

“foolish, hypocritical, and offensive”, and of course has helped to fire up those wanting a positive result.

There’s nothing worse than somebody poking their nose into something they don’t really know anything about and Abbott is quickly build­ ing up a long list of gaffes as he pretends to be some kind of “world player” As far as next month’s vote is con­ cerned, Salmond can see his independence dream disappearing before his very eyes, with consistent poll numbers showing that the Scots will go against his wishes. Ultimately it’s all about people’s pockets, and those from north of the bor­ der that I’ve spoken to say that they’re not prepared to gamble economically with all the uncertainty that would be created if Scotland goes it alone. That’s what they’ll look at and they’ll quickly forget the irritating interven­ tion of a bumbler that has far bigger fish to fry in his own backyard.

REGISTERING YOUR VEHICLE IN SPAIN. SPANISH LICENSE PLATES AND REGISTRATION DOCUMENT. Registering a non­Spanish vehicle in Spain is a complex and potentially costly procedure.

However, you may be exempt from Spanish registration tax by getting Spanish number plates within one month of entering the country. But to do this, you need to become a res­ ident. Linea Directa has been insuring expat drivers in Spain for over a decade and under­ stands all the steps involved. Below we outline this process.

STEP 1: OBTAINING A CERTIFICATE OF CONFORMITY This is a statement by the car’s manufacturer that it conforms to EU regulations. You will need the car’s chassis number to complete this straightforward process online at www.eurococ.eu/en/certificate_of_conformity. The charges for this service will vary according to type of vehicle, make and country of 1st registration.

STEP 2: CURRENT LOG BOOK The vehicle’s original log book showing your name as the owner, the vehicles age and a valid UK address. You will also need the bill of sale for the car.

STEP 3: RESIDENCY IN SPAIN The Spanish residency certificate (Certificado de Empadronamiento) is your official proof of residency in Spain. Your local town hall can provide you with this document. You will need to take your passport and proof of Spanish address (rental contract, contract to pur­ chase or property deeds).

STEP 4: OBTAINING A SPANISH MOT CERTIFICATE All vehicles over 4 years old must be roadworthy and clearly display a valid ITV sticker.

The ITV (Vehicle Technical Inspection) must be tested at an authorised centre, just as for an MOT test. You can find out the location of your nearest ITV centre on DGT website (equivalent to the DVLA). You can also call your local centre to make a booking. If the cen­ tre is busy, especially pre­summer, this can save a lot of time. The cost can vary but gen­ erally is around 40€ for petrol­engine cars and 56€ for diesel­engine cars.

Step 5: OBTAINING A SPANISH EQUIVALENT OF A TAX DISC The Spanish Tax Agency can provide your vehicle with a valid “tax disc” for Spain, which must be carried in the car when in use. You will need to complete the relevant form online and pay the amount according to your car’s tax band.

You can carry out all these procedures yourself or you can seek the assistance of an accountant to do this for you.

We hope the information provided in this article is of interest.

If you would like to contact Linea Directa please call 902­123­161 More information on Linea Directa online at www.lineadirecta.com

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Friday, August 22, 2014

CLIFF COPS A CIRCUS

UK police have tremen­ dous power at their com­ mand, especially now, thanks to so many varied communication outlets.

They are capable of destroying a person´s rep­ utation and future in an instant.

In my view the police total­ ly misused that power in the treatment of Sir Cliff Richard in their sex abuse investiga­ tions last week. To tip off the BBC that they were going to raid his UK home in search of evidence without first informing him, or interview­ ing him is deplorable ­ but turning the affair into a media circus is far, far worse. It may well have been all stage­managed in a bid to trawl others to come forward to make allegations or give information. But it is an underhand and deplorable way of going about it and police should be thoroughly ashamed of doing it. Fair enough to search Sir Cliff´s home, but not to make it a media event.

Police in their defence said they did not tip off the BBC, and the broadcaster said that their information didn’t come from the South Yorkshire police. Come off it – the police are quite capa­ ble of keeping an operation under wraps. I certainly wel­ come the news that both the chief constable and the BBC director general are to be hauled before the Home Affairs Select Committee to be quizzed by MPs over the sorry affair. I hope it will infu­ riate enough MPS to get the matter debated in the House, with a view to stop­ ping the publication of peo­ ple´s identities at least until they are charged, or better still, not until conviction. I find it detestable that the authorities seem to relish investigating the lives of celebrities going back many

decades. Sadly there are many people for all manner of reasons prepared to make allegations over something that may or may not have happened so long ago. Is there no end to all this ­ why not investigate the lives of all the Royals, all Cabinet min­ isters and all the captains of industry? Just think of the entertainment the public could have ­ almost as good as when people flocked to watch public hangings.

Who said that Londoners are not friendly people? It´s often said that they never speak to anyone on the Underground, keep themselves to them­ selves and are just plain unsociable. Well, it´s all a load of bosh. We went to London last week to see the musical The Jersey Boys, and, of course, go on a shopping expedition thanks to you know who! The trip involved several journeys on the Underground, several visits to pubs/restaurants and everywhere we went we were treated fantastically.

Twice on the Underground young people offered us our seats, and in a crowded pub it happened again, one young chap asking me "would you like to sit here pops?" In the past in this col­ umn I have berated young­ sters for not offering seats to older people. Now here´s the twist. It´s the first time that anyone has done it to me and I am now feeling very, very old. Do I like it?

No, not one bit!

Now I want you now to imagine you´re a judge.

A person stands before you accused of assaulting a man in a nightclub. The victim almost lost an eye when a beer glass was pushed and broken into his face. The person before you has 17 previous convictions and admits actual bodily harm.

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What sentence do you hand out? Two years, three? Not the judge in Bournemouth who handed out a two­year suspended sentence to the culprit! The judge described the defendant´s criminal his­ tory as ‘breathtaking’ but did not bang him in jail, instead handing out a 12­month sen­ tence suspended for two years and 80 hours of com­ munity service. The defen­ dant was also ordered to pay the victim £1,000 in compensation and a £100 victim surcharge. The sen­ tence has provoked consid­ erable anger, and has prompted the local MP to say he would be discussing it with the Attorney General to review it. What´s all the fuss about? Well, when I tell you the defendant is an extremely attractive, 21­ year­old female estate agent ­ from just looks ­ a dream girlfriend, but who actually is every man´s worst night­ mare, then perhaps now you´ll start to understand the lenient sentence. The victim is a young man, and his comment on the lenient sen­ tence is that if the incident was the other way around and he has jammed a glass into the girl´s face. there

would be no hesitation by a judge in handing out a jail sentence. Question:­Is a male judge influenced if he has an attractive, fanciable young woman standing before him. My guess he is.

You can´t suppress human nature, no matter how hard you try. On another level, it’s time to end one rule for men and another rule for women.

Women can be and are just as venomous as men (if not more so) and male judges looking at an attractive but wild woman in the dock and perhaps secretly wishing they could 'tame' her, with that possibly influencing sentencing, must end. It´s the same crazy nonsense in the family courts which, almost without question, hands custody of a child in a matrimonial action into the care of the female, and the father is treated as a milch cow. Clearly this estate agent from hell has a seri­ ous problem and if I was a judge (at such an age when the sight of a young female doesn´t send me into a state of total juvenile turmoil) the sentence would be to com­ mit her to a secure unit where she could be properly assessed to rid her of drink,

drugs, or whatever it is that is driving her to crime and stupidity. Suspended prison sentences should be some­ thing that is consigned to history. It´s a cop­out. Either the crime is worthy of impris­ onment or it´s not. I hope the MP´s challenge to the Attorney General bares fruit and perhaps before too long, judges get a kick up the rear end they so clearly need.

Did you enjoy being a judge? Want to do it again? Of course you do.

Well, how about a school teacher, aged 27, who stands before you of having a six­month relationship with a 15 year old female pupil.

The teacher admits having sexual activity with the girl once 16, and while in a posi­ tion of trust. The police investigation did not uncover any evidence that sex took place while she was under age, but there had been "a degree of grooming" and there had been a large num­ ber of "intimate and explicit" text messages and moving images found. Both the girl and teacher were counting down the days when the girl was 16. What would you do to the teacher? A year in jail?

That would be my sentence.

What did the judge do?

Gave the defendant a two­ year suspended sentence.

Now I shall tell you that the teacher was female and had groomed the pupil into a lesbian relationship. Just imagine the reaction of the court had the teacher been male grooming a female, or a male grooming a male pupil. It would have been jail without question. These are just two cases in the past week. Questions need to be asked and explanations given at the very highest of levels.

Because lesbians and homosexuals do groom teenagers and are very likely to pervert vulnerable young­ sters' sexuality and it needs to be taken very seriously, despite the crazy taboos surrounding discussing the matter in any sensible way.

Beginning to question whether some judges are not fit for purpose? Well, it´s not surprising when you have someone in the shape of Lord Neuberger, as a top judge. He's the president of the Supreme Court. What he has to say beggars belief.

He was talking about the Human Rights Act, which even the home secretary now wants to get rid of. It´s this Act which prevents Britain getting rid of the worst undesirables, ruling

q

q

that the very worst of people had a right to a family life ­ however tenuous that family life might be.

Lord Neuberger said the Act effectively gave the views of the judiciary precedence over Parliament. He said this extra power for judges was a good thing – because it kept governments in check. British judges have increasingly defied ministers since the Act was passed by Labour in 1998. The Appeal Court shot down rules to prevent sham marriages by ruling they discriminated against immigrants. And judges have used the Act to dismantle attempts to con­ trol terror suspects. Well let´s tell Lord Neuberger that it is the people, not judges, who have prece­ dence. It is the people who elect MPs and it is our elect­ ed MPs who make laws.

And it is judges who inter­ pret and execute those laws. It is not for judges to have the pomposity to either think, or say that they keep governments in check. So MPs ­ get stuck into these judges and put them in their place, as servants of the people, once and for all.

Now look at the situation created by the likes of Lord Neuberger and his cronies backed up by the Human Rights Act (thanks Labour).

The number of non­British born criminals considered for removal but not sent home rose by 50 per cent last year to 1,310, up from 890. Criminals not thrown out included 15 murderers, five guilty of manslaughter, 15 rapists and 140 robbers.

Foreign convicts are now avoiding deportation in one in three cases – often as a result of the Human Rights Act. In the past, use of this law has led to terror sus­ pects being allowed to stay in the UK due to having fam­ ily here. Enough is enough Lord Neuberger ­ your attempts to make British streets more unsafe than they need be.

Friday, August 22, 2014

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Friday, August 22, 2014

SAY IT IN SPANISH Learn the lingo - with a little help from JEANETTE ERATH Spanish 136

Creo que está feliz

We are going to continue with the subjunctive as it is such a complex part of Spanish, with some more revision, however first we will look at the answers to last week´s work: 1. Creo que ellos están en la casa I. 2.

Quiero que el chico coma más S 3. Es importante que los alumnos estudien cada día S.4. Es necesario que tú lo comprendas.

S 5. Es cierto que ella viene. I 6. Es dudoso que tú tengas gripe. S 7. Es probable que ellos vuelvan pronto.S 8. Es necesario que tu esposo lo escriba. S 8. Ella teme que los alumnos no estudien. S 9. Ella prefiere que nosotros salgamos. S Here are the correct asnwers to part two: 1.

Quiero que comas conmigo.2. Quizás vaya a casa.3. ¿Qué es eso? No sé.4. Creo que está feliz.5. Dudo que esté feliz.6. Es obvio que la ama.7. No es obvio que la ame.8.

Quiero beber.9. Busco al estudiante que habla español. Lo vi ayer.10. Busco un estu­ diante que hable español.11. Esperé que viniera.12.

Habla como si fuera inteligente.13. Llamé cuando estabas en casa.14. Llamaré en caso de que estés en casa.15. Trabajaba aunque estaba cansado.16. Si yo tuviera tiempo, viajaría.17. Si hubiera tenido tiempo, habría trabajado.18. Quiero que trabaje.19. Quiero traba­ jar.20. Quieren que trabaje.

[salir] mejor que nosotros en la competición. 4. Es cierto que el subjuntivo _____________ [ser] difícil. 5. No dudo que Uds. ______________ [tener] muchos exámenes. 6. ¿Qué prefiere Ud. que yo ______________ [leer]? 7. ¡No quiero que _______________ [ir ­ tú] sin mí! 8. ¡Qué bueno que ella ________________ [buscar] oportu­ nidades de practicar el español! 9. Dudamos que él ________________ [poder] haberlo hecho. 10. Le acon­ Exercise A. Fill in the blank with the present form of sub­ sejo que ________________ [olvidar] el asunto. 11. Es junctive using the verb in brackets (**not all sentences will cierto que me ________________ [doler] mucho. 12. La Armada insiste en que ______ ______________________ require the subjunctive).

1. Es importante que ustedes _____________________ [vestirse ­ nosotros] así. 13. Espero que [saber] el vocabulario. 2. No creo que el libro de texto _______________ [estar ­ tú] conmigo siempre. 14. Pero _________________ [explicar] bien el subjuntivo. 3. no es verdad que nunca _________________ [hacer] frío Tememos que nuestros rivales ____________________ en México. 15. Espero que _____ _______________

[mejorarse ­ tú] pronto.

Now the same again, take a break before moving on to these ones, have a cuppa or a glass of sangría and try again.

This time fill in the blank with the correct form of the subjunctive which may be in any form, as before, not all sentences will require the sub­ junctive: 1. Hágame el favor de llamarme cuando Ud. __________________ [terminar]. 2. Tú y yo _____ ________________ (divertirse) si _________________ [ir] al gimnasio. 3. Los dejamos en paz a menos que Uds. _________________ [hacer] demasiado ruido. 4. Mi amiga siempre me llama cuando _________________ [volver] a casa. 5. El profesor quiere que ________________ [lle­ gar ­ nosotros] antes de que ________________ [comenzar] la clase. 6.

Julia tenía alergias y por eso usaba un jabón que no ____________ [tener] per­ fume. 7. El reportero no encontró nada que ______________ [explicar] la causa del incendio. 8. Yo tenía ganas de comer en un restaurante que ______________ [servir] churros. 9.

Encontramos al chófer que ______________ [conocer] las calles bien. 10. Cuando tú ________________ (venir) a visitarme anoche, ya estaba dormida.

I hope you are all managing to get to grips with the sub­ junctive, although it is a very difficult area of Spanish to learn, I doubt that you will pick it up without a lot more effort and a lot of revision, after all we learn in the indicative and then are thrown the subjunctive to mess up everything we thought we knew. However, keep at it and keep studying and in time it will become clearer.

Next week we will have the answers to the above, so take your time and try and work through it carefully, have a great week.

Friday, August 22, 2014

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Friday, August 22, 2014

Treatments To Keep Your Skin Looking Fantastic We can’t stop time from marching on, but we can stop it from marching all over us, or can encourage it to march with lighter steps at least. With anti­aging treatments, the progress of aging will slow to the extent that you will feel younger and look younger.

The Years Take Their Toll

As we age, our blood no longer circulates as quickly or as well, and our skin dehy­ drates; the production of collagen slows and our skin becomes less elastic. Years of exposure to the sun and harsh elements helps create lines, wrinkles, spots, and bro­ ken blood vessels; hormone production decreases with time and skin becomes thin­ ner and duller, and pores enlarge. The pull of gravity causes aging skin to droop around the mouth and eyes, and the chin begins to sag. We produce fewer melanocytes as we grow older, which means our skin pigmenta­ tion changes, and skin colour fades or

becomes blotchy. Our bodies become less flexible and we become stiff and less active.

Start Anti­Aging Treatments from the Inside A balanced diet helps us receive the nutri­ tion necessary for good health, which is reflected in thicker, shinier hair, clearer, healthier skin, and increased energy, all of which helps us look and feel younger.

Choose foods from all the food groups to ensure that you are receiving at least mini­ mum amounts of carbohydrates, proteins, fats, vitamins and minerals necessary for good health. We have an increased need for particular nutritional elements as we age and at various stages in life, and when we have specific health concerns. We also know that soil in which fruits and vegetables are grown is often depleted in nutrients, and more nutrients are lost in food processing, handling, and cooking. Fortunately, this

doesn’t mean you have to find a plot of land and grow your own produce, nor do you have to chew your way through raw food every day, and, yes, you can treat yourself to fast food and processed food now and then.

The solution is to take anti­aging supple­ ments.

Your primary anti­aging supplement should be a multivitamin, and you can add individual supplements as needed. Choose a multivitamin formulation suitable for your age and sex that includes an antioxidant or two, such as vitamins C and E, to protect your skin and vital organs from free radicals.

B vitamins are important for healthy hair, skin, and gums; calcium and magnesium protect against osteoporosis; and vitamin A against cancer, stroke, and heart disease.

Since collagen is the cellular glue in the fibres that support the outer layer of skin, as well as the main protein in bones, cartilage and connective tissue, adding a collagen supplement makes a lot of sense, too. For best results, take your supplements with meals as they work synergistically with other nutrients.

Don’t forget the importance of water. Drink

it — lots of it — at least eight glasses a day.

Exercise is one of the most important ele­ ments in your arsenal of daily anti­aging treatments. Get out of that chair, tear your­ self away from the television set and start moving. Walking is an easy and beneficial form of exercise, and doesn’t require any special clothing or equipment. Go for it!

Cleanse and Moisturize Skin with Anti-Aging Skin Care Products

Anti­aging skin care products include cleansers and exfoliates that will help keep your skin scrupulously clean. Gently remove your eye makeup and then your face make­ up with an oil­based cream or milk lotion before washing your face. Forget the harsh soaps and cleansers and the hot water. Use lukewarm water on your face and pat your skin dry rather than rub it. For extra­deep cleansing, use an exfoliate or a cleansing mask weekly, or if your skin is very sensitive, monthly.

After cleansing, use a toner or a skin firm­ ing product and then apply a moisturizer of which there are two types. One is the group

Cancer and the Immune system

DR MACHI MANNU’S ADVICE CLINIC Email your questions and comments to contact@medb.es

Many of us believe that the only function of the immune system is to protect us against infections.

Nevertheless, the function of the immune system far exceeds fighting off deadly microbes. Our immune sys­ tem is also responsible for protecting us against aller­ gies and autoimmune dis­ eases such as rheumatoid arthritis and thyroiditis.

However the most impor­ tant job of our immune sys­ tem is to fight off cancer cells. Every day, our immune system destroys thousands of cancer cells, and by doing so, protects us against all forms of cancer.

Cancer has clearly been

shown scientifically to be a disease associated with a weakened immune system.

The human body has devised a number of intelli­ gent and efficient ways to deal with harmful microor­ ganisms, toxic chemical compounds, and abnormal cancer cells. The blood con­ tains a variety of spe­ cialised cells called white blood cells, which search out unwanted elements in the body and the most abundant of these cells are called neutrophils. These neutrophils typically fight harmful bacteria, viruses and other pathogens but not cancer cells. Lymphocytes are another type of white blood cells which produce antibodies to fight specific diseases. To destroy can­ cer cells however, the body utilizes special cells called Natural­Killer cells, and these seek out and destroy all kinds of microbes as well as cancer cells. A healthy immune system can be weakened by a

number of factors such as antibiotics, stress, poor diet and high levels of toxins.

Antibiotics destroy both the harmful bacteria as well as good bacteria in the body and good bacteria forms part of our immune system by keeping the levels of harmful bacteria in check.

Processed foods and foods containing wheat give rise to ´leaky gut syndrome´ which eventually leads to a weak immune system.

One of the most cost effec­ tive ways to improve the immune system is with Reishi. Reishi is known as the ´mushroom of immortal­ ity´ and in many parts of Asia it is used in combina­ tion with chemotherapy, or alone to treat cancer. Reishi immune is available from MedB Clinic. To order call 965071745; Cost €28 (90 Capsules) Free delivery to Spain.

FOR A FULL BODY DIAGNOSTIC SCAN CALL DR MACHI MANNU: 965071745

Friday, August 22, 2014 of humecants such as glycerine, sorbitol, lactic acid, and urea, which attract and hold moisture; the other is the family of emollients such as petroleum jelly, lanolin, and mineral oil that form barriers to seal in moisture. Both are effective, and you will have to experi­ ment to discover which type you prefer and works best for you. Use a light, easily absorbed moisturizer during the day, and apply a heavier moisturizer at night.

You can find cleansers, toners, and mois­ turizers designed for oily, dry, and combina­ tion skin. Over­active oil glands can cause acne to erupt at various ages, and your skin will become drier with age. Select skin care products suitable for your skin type.

Apart from a toner and the essential mois­ turizer, you should use anti­aging products designed specifically to lighten age spots, to protect the tender skin under the eyes, to treat dry lips, and to manage acne and blem­ ishes. If you would like to reduce wrinkles, alpha hydroxy acids and Retin A are the modern miracle treatments and they can be prescribed by your doctor.

Whatever cleansing, moisturizing, or prob­ lem­solving skincare products you use, if you forget your sunscreen, it is all a waste of money and effort. Skin has no greater enemy than the sun — protect it well from those harmful rays. Use a sunscreen with a minimum of SPF 15, and slap it on summer and winter, on sunny days and under heavy cloud cover. Those damaging rays can reach right through the clouds and find your unpro­ tected skin. Don’t forget to put sunscreen on your lips, too.

Choose Anti-Aging Products When Buying Makeup

People use makeup to enhance their best features and to conceal flaws, such as blem­ ishes and scars. If you wear makeup, choose products compatible with your anti­ aging treatments. There are cosmetics designed for people with blonde, brunette, red, or grey hair, and skin tones that range from very pale to black. Many are created

specifically for oily, dry, and combination skin. Read labels and shop carefully to receive the benefits of these particular anti­ aging treatments. Their use will help you look younger and help protect your skin.

There is makeup for long­term use and for emergency fix­ups. It is wonderful to have products on hand that will conceal under­eye dark circles or puffiness, as well as pimples and broken capillaries when these misfor­ tunes strike.

Anti-Aging Treatments Are Simple to Implement:

• Eat balanced meals and drink lots of water; • Add supplements to your diet; • Exercise; • Cleanse, moisturize, and protect your skin; • Choose makeup that reinforces your anti­aging treatments.

When you look good, your confidence soars and you feel better about yourself.

Anti­aging treatments are easy to implement at a very reasonable cost. You can buy all the products you need on the Internet, usu­ ally at a discount price. Compare costs online, order what you need, and have everything delivered to your home. Amaze yourself and others. Look younger and feel better. You can do it!

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Friday, August 22, 2014

GIVE ME A CLUE, WHAT TO DO!

Q

Dear Doctor, I have chronic health problems. For many years I´ve been on 2 blood pressure medica­ tions, and simvastatin. When I came to Spain 2 years ago, my doctor added Omeprazole to protect my stom­ ach and fosamax for osteoporosis. In the last 6 months however, I have been feeling terrible. My joints and mus­ cles ache, I have constant headaches, my memory is not as good as it used to be, and I now suffer from fre­ quent indigestion, something I never had before. The last blood test from the hospital wasn´t very good and showed a slightly high sugar level. My doctor also told me that my kidneys are not so good. I follow your arti­ cles, and I know that some of the drugs that I take such as statins may not be good for me, but I don´t know what to do. I´ll appreciate your advice.

What is well­known about medications is that no one can predict what will happen when you take 5 or more prescription drugs together, and the outcome is usually neg­ ative. This is because of the drug reactions that occur when prescription drugs are combined. And I see that you are tak­ ing at least 5 different medications. Simvastatin is prescribed to lower blood cholesterol level; however it is associated with very serious side­effects. Statins block the cholesterol pathway in the liver, but by doing so; they also block the pro­ duction of 2 very essential chemicals in the body – Co­ enzyme Q10 and Dolichol. CoQ10 is required by every cell in the body for the optimal production of energy. Very active organs in the bone such as the brain, kidney and muscles, require very high amounts of CoQ10 in order to produce adequate amounts of energy. The muscles especially, require a lot of energy to move us from place to place. This is why the commonest side­effect of statins, seen in 80% of people taking it, is muscle pain and muscle weakness. And so taking statins can cause problems such as heart disease, memory loss, kidney problems, as well as diabetes, muscle

A

degeneration, peripheral nerve neuropathy and cancer.

Dolichol plays an important role in the nerve transmission of messages from one part of the body to another. Scientists have linked low levels of dolichol in the body to; extreme hostility, road rage, extreme anger and depression. The loss of dolichol in the body is the reason why statins have a huge impact on the brain and nervous system. Even though high blood pressure is treated as a disease by mainstream med­ icine, it is not. High blood pressure is only a symptom of a disease, and the correct way to manage it, is to find out the cause, and not to prescribe medications. High blood pres­ sure can be caused by problems with the kidneys, nerves, hormones and of course the heart. However, the commonest cause is atherosclerosis, which is the hardening and furring of the arteries. Taking blood pressure medications rather than treating the cause will hide the underlying cause, and lead to further degeneration of the organs. The most effec­ tive way to reverse atherosclerosis is with high dose omega­ 3 fatty acids (up to 4,500 mg daily for 6 months). Exercising and eating a healthy diet rich in raw and fresh fruits and veg­ etables is also helpful. It can be dangerous to come off med­ ications straightaway, especially high blood pressure med­ ications, which have to be gradually tailored­off under the supervision of a health care professional. Most blood pres­ sure lowering medications have a damaging effect on the kidneys and liver. Men should also be aware that a very common but rarely mentioned cause of long term use of blood pressure lowering medication is erectile dysfunction.

Fosamax which is commonly prescribed to increase bone density is a deadly drug, in my opinion. Fosamax or alen­ dronate and other such drugs, belong to a class of medica­ tions known as bisphosphonates. Bisphosphonates cause severe damage to the kidney and liver and commonly cause joint and bone pain. One report showed that a third of women on fosamax developed eye problems that could lead

to blindness. Other clinical studies have found that those taking fosamax together with steroids had a strong likelihood of developing jaw bone degeneration. Drugs such as fos­ amax interfere with the natural cycle of bone removal and bone growth, giving rise to bones that are dense but very brittle and prone to fractures. In my experience carrying out diagnostic scans, I find that most women on fosamax show a severe degeneration of the kidneys, stomach, gall bladder and liver. Omeprazole is very commonly prescribed here in Spain to protect the stomach against the effect of other drugs. Most drugs will stimulate the stomach to produce acid which will eventually lead to inflammation of the stomach.

However omeprazole which is prescribed to counter this effect is not a benign drug, and is known to cause even worse digestive problems. Omeprazole stops the stomach from producing acid. The stomach however needs this acid to carry out food digestion. Many enzymes that play a role in digestion are only activated by the stomach acid (hydrochlo­ ric acid). In addition, stomach acid also destroys harmful microbes that are constantly striving to invade the digestive tract. Omeprazole like many other drugs should only be taken for a few days, even though they are usually pre­ scribed for a life time. In my opinion, most of the problems you are now suffering from have been caused by your med­ ications or worsened by them. You can stop taking statins immediately without worrying about any negative effects. My advice will be to stop taking statins and to check your cho­ lesterol level in 2 months, and if high, to take policosanol, a natural and effective cholesterol lowering medication. You should also discontinue Fosamax immediately, but first speak to your doctor about it, and present him with the facts that I´ve highlighted.

FOR A FULL BODY DIAGNOSTIC SCAN CALL DR MACHI MANNU: 965071745

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Friday, August 22, 2014

JELLYFISH BATTLE

The way water runs off agricultural land and flows into the Mar Menor, fill­ ing the natural salt lake with nitrates and phosphates , has been blamed as the main cause of pollution in the lagoon. This con­ tamination has a knock on effect in that the phosphate filled waters become the ideal breeding ground for jelly fish, causing mayhem for bathers and holi­ day makers, and doing the tourism industry no good whatsoever.

One possible solution for this problem is the building of artificial marshes, made up of water plants such as reeds and rushes,

IS IT YOUR DRIBBLER?

which filter the water, and the vegetation traps the nutrients carried in the water.

This system would clean the water in a nat­ ural way. Studies have been carried out locally on the effectivity of vegetation for cleaning polluted water, with very positive A cat is reported to have results: almost all the nitrates are eradicat­ made the 1,500 mile trip ed from the water. from Spain to England on his own, and no one knows how he managed it. Cats are known to return to the areas they are from if their family moves, and we all know they have nine lives, but even so, the story is quite remarkable.

The black moggy was found wandering in a gar­ den in Lichfield, near Birmingham, looking thin and hungry, but a microchip check revealed he was reg­ istered in Spain. Vets have no idea how the stray was able to make the trip across Spain, France and the English Channel – a journey which would take 24 hours by car. The ten­year­old cat, which drools, has been nicknamed Dribbler by vets

caring for him.

Emma Wood, a nurse at Pool House Vet’s, said: ‘We’ve no idea how he got here. ‘We’ve checked his microchip but there is no way of knowing who he belongs to. He’s got a blue velvet collar on but there are no contact details on there either.’ An old jaw injury means Dribbler can’t stop drooling at mealtimes but he isn’t off his food, said Ms

Wood. Dribbler’s dribbling is believed to be caused by a car accident which frac­ tured his jaw and was never properly treated,’ she added. He doesn’t seem to be in pain and he still eats a lot. After all he’s been through, he’s a really friend­ ly feline. All he wants is cud­ dles,’ she said.

Do any Courier readers recognise this intrepid Moggy?

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Friday, August 22, 2014

CRY FOR HELP SPANGLING BRIGHT

The APAH animal charity say they are at breaking point as many of their volunteers have gone back to the UK and other coun­ tries to avoid the hot Spanish summer!

There are now few people left to run the ken­ nels as well as their shop in Pilar de la Horadada, until the autumn well and truly kicks in. The charity is now desperately appealing for any help from people willing to donate a few hours of their time over the remainder of the summer to help out either cleaning and feeding the APAH dogs, or work in their charity shop.

Meanwhile, the group was delighted with response to help their cattery and they now have enough dedicated helpers to ensure that their cats are cared for every morning throughout the week. So far they have not been able to re­instate the evening visits, so if anyone living local to Pinar de Campoverde is free to donate a small amount of their time to visit them one evening, APAH would be very grateful.

The APAH contact numbers are on 630 422 63 or 616 210 850 if you are willing to help.

The Spangles Ladies’ Harmony Chorus is getting ready for their first concert after the summer, when they’ll be performing in the Torrevieja area at the Restaurante Asturias in Punta Prima on Friday September 19th at 8.30 pm. The two times champion chorus is based in Los Alcázares, but several mem­ bers live in and around Torrevieja and the group decided that it was time for friends and families of those members to enjoy a concert closer to home. Spangles won their first gold medal in San Pedro del Pinatar in 2011 at the Spanish Association of Barbershop Singers (SABS) convention

and again in Benalmádena in 2013. Their repertoire offers something for everyone, from rock, to pop, to jazz! An added bonus on the night are the current SABS champi­ ons, The Hanfris Quartet, from Barcelona, which is an all­male barbershop quartet formed in 2009. The concert is part of a fundraising drive to help with their costs of representing Spain at the Ladies’ Association of British Barbershop Singers (LABBS) convention in Harrogate this com­ ing October. Show tickets are now on sale for just eight euros each by calling 968 334 527 or 650 745 711.

PEDALLING SUCCESS

Murcia­based charity cyclists George Burrage and Keith Redger have handed over a thousand euro cheque to MABS Murcia Mar Menor which was raised earlier this summer in a 19 day trek to Gloucestershire in the UK. They covered over two thousand kilometres in their journey, with George raising money for cystic fibrosis, whilst Keith’s cause was MABS, with representatives Jill Chorley and Janet Bell picking up the money from the intrepid riders at Helen’s Kitchen in Roldan

LIONS HUNT FOR CUBS

TOM’S OPEN HOUSE

If you enjoy singing, then the Casa Tom Community Choir would love to hear from you. This new group, under musical director, Judith Philips, will be starting their autumn rehearsals on Monday September 8th at 2.00pm in the San Luis area of Torrevieja.

Everybody is welcome join the choir and there are no auditions. Judith says that the aim of the Choir is to welcome experienced singers and those who have never sung in a choir before ­ and everyone in between ­ to come together and make good music. Men and women of all ages are welcome.

For more information call or e­mail Terry on 647 189 135 or casatomsanluis@gmail.com

The Torrevieja Costa Lions club have opened up their doors to a new member this month, with Los Montesinos resi­ dent, Tony Mackman, joining the club, who already has some ideas in hand for fund­raising and social events. His induction by President Iain Bennett was a wel­ come lift with the club looking to attract new members.

Membership of Lions is by invitation, but

anybody can come along to the monthly Club business meeting on the second Thursday of every month at Hotel Cabo Cervera in La Mata at 7.30pm where they will be made most welcome. If you are interested in becoming a Lion, then contact Philip on philip.buck­ man@btinternet.com or visit www.torreviejacostalions.org for more details.

The SAT Animal Rescue Shop in La Marina is better off to the tune of 271 euros after a fund­raising night from their next­door neighbours! The charity is next to the Doghouse Restaurant and Bar on Avenida de Londres, and the best part of 100 people packed in for a special hog roast and raffle in aid of the charity, with entertainment provid­

ed by the singer Andy Jones. A highlight of the evening was the auction of a jacket signed by the musician Phil Collins which raised 100 euros for SAT. The venue now plans to hold regular raffles in aid of their ani­ mal­caring neighbours, and there are more details about the charity at www.satanimal­ rescue.com

IN THE DOGHOUSE

ANIMALS HELPED

Kind­hearted businesses helped to boost the coffers of the Cruz Azul Murcia animal charity by offering discounts to customers and handing over the differ­ ence. Outlets at the Oasis Boulevard in Los Alcazares got together for a full day of discounts last week, as well as contribut­ ing prizes to a raffle.

Cruz Azul’s President, Lyn Baines says she was impressed by the effort put in:­ “We’re touched by the generosity of local busi­ nesses in what is still a tough economic climate. A huge thank you to all the local businesses who kindly donated raffle

prizes to support us.”

Cruz Azul Murcia, with their office in San Javier, exists to provide veteri­ nary care for the sick and injured pets of people in need and to promote responsible pet own­ ership For more details, call 693 017 616 or visit their website: www.cruzazulmur­ cia.es

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Friday, August 22, 2014

SWITCH OFF IS NOT A PROBLEM

Broadcaster Darren James of TKO FM casts a personal view on the row over live entertainment in local bars and restau­ rants.

Forget Ebola that might threaten millions of lives across the world! Believe some of the local press and the social networking media and there is an even bigger and more serious epidemic about to engulf Spain.

Local areas previously full of people now dead or dying, businesses closing, Ghost Towns are the norm, no more Tourists and the Spanish economy fin­ ished.....dead, resulting in cars being replaced by don­ keys and carts! What is this epidemic? No more sun­ shine? No more beaches?

No more Spanish culture?

These would be major prob­ lems for Spain.

No, no, no!

If you sit down and analyse the fol­ lowing statement; and I mean really analyse it, can anyone take it with anything other than a pinch of azafran?

And the state­ ment is this which is the gist of much that is being said and written: “Thousands of people will stop coming to visit Spain and many already living here will sell up and leave because bars are not allowed to have live music!”

Seriously? Really?

Let’s cast our minds back to when you went to the local travel agent in the 1970s, ‘80s and ‘90s and decided to book that fort­ night in Spain. Be com­ pletely honest. Why did you book to come to the Costa Blanca, Brava, Del Sol or, according to “Are You Being Served”, the Costa Plonka (and oh how relevant that’s become recently!)? 15 days by a swimming pool fighting with German towels, frying on a beach with Factor 1 lotion, cheap wine and food, and a hotel that matched the artist’s impression.

And how many wanted to come back to the UK and be pho­ tographed at Gatwick wear­ ing your 50 gallon sombrero holding a donkey? That’s why you went to Spain. Did it really have anything to do with live entertainment of any description? It might’ve had something to do with late night discos and early morning clubbing for many which you couldn’t do in the home country; but these clubs are still going strong and attracting their thou­ sands.

Cast your mind back a few weeks to those scenes in Magaluf with hun­ dreds of youths in the streets on drinking sprees spending thousands of Euros, helping the local economy.

Can’t imagine

them sat down around a table or stood up in a small bar in a group listening to a live act(They prefer taking part in and watching other types of acts!).

Booze, plenty of it, and loud thump­ ing music is all they’re inter­ ested in, and that’s why they’ll return year after year until replaced by the next generation of teenage rev­ ellers!

The Club 18 to 30 holi­ days weren’t sold on the basis that the highlight of the trip would be going to a local bar to listen to a tribute act, a rock group, take part in a karaoke or yes....even a quiz night! They were sold on the cheap featuring a combination of Sun, Sea, Sangria and Sex and com­ ing home with whiter skin than you arrived with.

Families with two point four children stayed at hotels, spent their days around the pool, on the beaches or tak­

ing organised day trips with inedible packed lunches, discovering the local sites and attractions.

The evenings were spent in the hotel bars with local Spanish entertainment...and in the absence of that entertain­ ment, you made your own by meeting people and enjoying each other’s com­ pany. Thankfully, this still happens and will continue to happen.

I’ve spent 25 years living in Spain and I can honestly say, hand on heart, that I’ve not met anyone during that time that came to this coun­ try to live or to visit ONLY because there was live music to be enjoyed. It was­ n’t even mentioned as part of the reason they came here.

The reasons were (and still are) the proverbial “4 S’s” mentioned above (that’s the tourists – not the members of the bowls clubs), to get away from the UK, to retire to the sun what­ ever age they were, to start a new life and, in the case of many – and this is where many of the problems start­ ed for a significant number – to start their own business.

Not once did anyone say it was to be able to listen to live music in their local bar.

In fact, I doubt if it entered anyone’s head.

If you fancied a good night out with some equally good entertainment, you went to Benidorm. It was a novelty and probably went there a handful of times during the year...but interestingly it wasn’t essentially for the live music. Prior to the other “epidemic” of tribute acts, you went there to watch some genuine entertainers, comedians, “novelty acts” (you know who I mean....!)

and singers with backing tracks or the resident pianist or drummer. But this great entertainment was held in purpose­built entertainment clubs and venues capable of holding a significant number of people. These were not small family run bars that originally set up to provide breakfasts, lunches and din­ ners who doubled up as an entertainment venue in the evening that could just about hold a small coach party.

Cafes, bars and restaurants were, and still are just that. There was no pretence (and it’s still the case in Benidorm) that they should be the next Jongleurs, 02 Arena or The London Palladium!

I can remember with great affection visiting Benidorm now and then in my early years in Spain and it was always busy, thriving and full of visitors 12 months of the year. The night­life was equally thriving and there was invariably standing room only in those previous­ ly mentioned entertainment clubs such as “Steptoe’s”, “Talk Of The Coast” etc etc.

Fast forward to last September and those same clubs...still open for busi­ ness and still allowed their live entertainment...had a handful of punters or one man and his dog watching.

Unheard of only a handful of years ago. Why? More and more of these showbars have opened and taken cus­ tom away from others and whilst there’s been an expansion in the number of places opening, there hasn’t been an equivalent increase in tourism to match. The increase in “all inclusive” hotels has also had a signif­ icant impact in the area, but at the end of the day, it’s simple and basic econom­ ics. Too many clubs and not enough customers.

It’s a penalty that is paid for giving people more choice.

Businesses will inevitably fail. It’s a sad fact of life.

And it’s the same reasons that are behind much of business failures and the background to this current argument and debate 80 kms down the Costa Blanca.

Recently issued Padron figures for the Costa Blanca show that many places are thousands of people down.

Some will have you believe that this is entirely due to no live music being allowed in bars. Yes, it’s true. Those that promote that spin obvi­ ously forget that death, ill­ health, missing grandchil­ dren, changes in personal financial situations, unfavourable (but improv­ ing) exchange rates, poor interest rates for savers, the worse economic downturn for a couple of genera­ tions....and the fear of not registering on the Padron (or not knowing about it) thinking the tax authorities are going to take action, are the principal factors for peo­ ple leaving the area or not registering.

The vast swathes of empty or closed business units in the area are not caused by the problems associated with live music either. There are almost 300 empty units near to Urb Marina just off the N332 and have been empty for eight or nine years. There’s an empty shell of an unfinished commercial unit near to Lidl and there’s the famous yel­ low and green strip of units close to the Consum Square that are 90% empty.

Banks and shops have closed on La Marina, and yes, bars and restaurants too....and many of those that are open are struggling.

But it’s not due to live music issues. It’s due to a combi­ nation of the economic downturn and, I believe, a complete and utterly ridicu­ lous naivety and business acumen – not just on La Marina but along the Costa Blanca. The acumen of “you’ve got a successful business so I’m going to open a similar one close to you and be just as success­ ful” only works if you’ve done your homework and your market research. It has most certainly been the case in La Marina – and I can imagine elsewhere too – that the “too many venues and not enough people to go around” scenario is a principal cause of many problems in the area.

The tourists will always come to Spain (and, to remind some, there are other nationalities – not just British) in their millions as long as those “4 S’s” are in abundance. A few people who may say that they won’t come here again because the odd handful of bars that can’t get on with each other and can’t come to any com­ promise with their local resi­ dents, that might not be allowed to have their twice weekly dose of someone purporting to be Michael Buble or Kylie Minogue due to the police doing their job, will NOT leave the Spanish Tourist Board or Ryanair losing much sleep.

26

Friday, August 22, 2014

USE YOUR NOODLE

Super versatile and quick to cook, could there be a better storecupboard staple that noodles? Make yours a slurpy supper with these fantastic noodle recipes.

Honey and orange chicken stir-fry This is a delightful sweet and zesty summer meal.

Ingredients

1. 2 tbsp wholegrain mus­ tard 2. 4 tbsp clear honey 3. Finely grated zest and juice of 1 orange 4. 3 tbsp olive oil 5. 4 skinless chicken breasts, thickly sliced 6. 250g pack medium egg noodles 7. 100g unsalted cashew nuts 8. 250g cherry tomatoes, halved 9. Bunch of spring onions, finely sliced

Method

1. Mix the mustard, honey, orange zest and juice and 2 tablespoons olive oil in a large bowl. Season, add the chick­ en and stir to coat evenly. Cover and set aside for at least 15 minutes, or chill overnight.

2. Meanwhile, cook the noodles in boiling water according to the pack instructions. Drain well, tip into a large bowl and mix with the remaining oil to stop the noodles sticking together. Set aside, covered, to keep hot.

3. Put a large frying pan or wok over a high heat. When hot, add the cashews and cook for 2 minutes, stirring, until lightly toasted. Remove the nuts from the pan, set aside to cool, then roughly chop. Using a slotted spoon, lift the chick­ en from the marinade and add to the hot pan. Cook for 5 minutes, stirring, until golden all over.

4. Add the chicken marinade to the pan and bubble away for 1 minute. Gradually add the noodles, separating them with your fingers as you go, then add the tomatoes and most of the spring onions. Season and mix everything together to coat in the marinade. Stir­fry for 2 minutes, until piping hot and the vegetables have just started to wilt. Divide between bowls and scatter with the chopped cashews and remaining

spring onions to serve.

Sweet chilli chicken, peanut and noodle salad

This sweet chilli chicken is an exciting and speedy mid­ week supper, plus enjoy a spicy wrap for lunch the next day.

Ingredients

1. 300g rice noodles 2. 1 tbsp groundnut oil 3. 150g sugar snap peas 4. 8 boneless, skinless free­range chicken thighs, cut into pieces 5. 3 tbsp sweet chilli sauce 6. 1 tbsp toasted sesame oil 7. 2 tbsp soy sauce 8. 2 limes 9. 1 tbsp fish sauce 10. 1 garlic clove, crushed 11. 1 red chilli, deseeded and thinly sliced 12. 6 spring onions, thinly sliced 13. ½ cucumber, halved lengthways and thinly sliced 14. 75g natural peanuts, toasted in the oven for 8 minutes and chopped 15. Small bunch each of fresh mint and fresh coriander, leaves picked

Method

1. Put the rice noodles in a large bowl and cover gener­ ously with boiling water, then leave for 15 minutes until ten­ der, stirring occasionally to separate the noodles (or cook according to pack instructions). Drain and rinse under cold running water.

2. Meanwhile, in a wok or frying pan, heat the groundnut oil until very hot, then fry the sugar snap peas for 2 minutes.

Remove and set aside.

3. Season the chicken, add to the wok or pan and fry for 3 minutes until golden, draining off any fat. Add the sweet chilli sauce and continue to fry until the chicken is cooked and the sauce is thickened and sticky.

4. In a large bowl, whisk the toasted sesame oil, soy sauce, juice from 1½ of the limes, the fish sauce, garlic and chilli to make a dressing. Add the noodles to the bowl with the sugar snaps, spring onions, cucumber, peanuts and herbs, then toss to coat. Add to the wok or pan and stir through the sticky chicken. Set aside a third for lunch the next day and serve the rest on a platter with the remaining ½ lime cut into wedges.

Sesame salmon noodles This Asian­style salmon recipe is good enough to serve at

a dinner party but why save it for a special occasion?

Ingredients 1. 4 salmon fillets 2. 4 tbsp teriyaki sauce 3. 1 tbsp honey 4. 1 tbsp sesame oil 5. Grated zest of 1 lime 6. 250g pack ramen or udon noodle 7. 1 bunch of spring onions 8. 1 red chilli 9. 125g mangetout 10. 200g Oriental mushrooms (enoki or shiitake) 11. 1 tbsp sesame oil 12. A splash each of rice vinegar and soy sauce 13. Sesame seeds

Method

1. Put the salmon fillets in a bowl with the teriyaki sauce, honey, sesame oil and lime zest. Set aside for 10 minutes.

2. Meanwhile, cook the noodles according to pack instruc­ tions, then drain.

3. Finely slice the spring onions, chilli, mangetout and Oriental mushrooms. Heat 1 tbsp sesame oil in a wok and fry the sliced veg for a few minutes, then add a splash each of rice vinegar and soy sauce, and the cooked noodles. Set aside, covered.

4. Heat a frying pan over a medium heat. Coat the salmon in sesame seeds and pan­fry for 3­4 minutes each side until cooked. Remove the salmon from the pan and keep warm.

Bring the remaining marinade to the boil in the frying pan.

Simmer for 1 minute, then pour over the noodles. Divide between plates and top with the salmon.

Seared tuna with Asian noodle salad This quick, post­work supper recipe with Asian flavours utilises the best time­saving products in the supermarket.

Ingredients 1. 2 x 200g tuna steaks, 2­3cm thick 2. 60g sachet Puréety Soy, Ginger & Garlic Liquid Marinade, or 50ml soy sauce mixed with a knob of fresh ginger, grated, and 2 garlic cloves, crushed 3. 2 red chillies, finely chopped

27

Friday, August 22, 2014

4. 2 tbsp soy sauce 5. Bunch of fresh coriander, stems finely chopped, leaves chopped 6. Juice of 2 limes 7. 80g rice noodles 8. Bunch of fresh mint, leaves chopped

Method

1. Place the tuna steaks in a bowl, coat with the marinade and leave for 20 minutes.

2. Meanwhile, make the salad dressing. Put the chilli, soy sauce and chopped coriander stems in a little jug, add the lime juice and whisk. Place the noodles in a bowl. Pour over boiling water, leave for 5 minutes, then drain, rinse in cold water and drain again. Return to a dry bowl, then mix with the chopped coriander and mint leaves.

3. Heat a griddle to high, then lift the tuna out of the mari­ nade and cook for 2 minutes on each side (discard the mari­ nade). Remove and slice, then divide the noodles between 2 dishes and serve with the sliced tuna on top and the dress­ ing drizzled over.

Quick prawn laksa Enjoy a taste of the exotic with this delightfully quick and easy cheat's laksa.

Ingredients 1. 375g rice noodles 2. 1 tsp vegetable oil 3. A handful sliced shiitake mushrooms 4. 1½ tbsp red Thai curry paste 5.

400ml can coconut milk 6. A handful each sugar snap peas, halved, baby corn, halved, and aspara­ gus tips 7. 2 tbsp fish sauce 8. 200g pack cooked prawns 9. Fresh coriander and lime wedges to squeeze over.

3. 4 tbsp sweet chilli sauce 4. 4 bunches of dried glass noodles 5. 2.5cm piece fresh ginger, grated 6. 2 garlic cloves, crushed 7. 50g cashew nuts 8. 1 tsp chilli flakes 9. 2 tbsp olive oil 10. 2 carrots, cut into matchsticks 11. 1 red pepper, finely sliced 12. Handful fresh coriander leaves

Method

1. Marinate the steak in a bowl with the soy and sweet chilli sauces for 10 minutes. Pour boiling water over the noo­ dles and stand for 4 minutes, then drain and cool under the cold tap.

2. Whizz the ginger, garlic, cashews and chilli in a small food processor (or pound in a pestle and mortar) to form a paste. Set aside.

3. Heat a griddle or frying pan until very hot. Ensure the steaks are well coated in the marinade, then cook them for 3­4 minutes each side for medium rare (you may need to do this in batches). Set aside to rest.

4. Heat the oil in a pan or wok over a medium­high heat and fry the cashew paste for a minute, then add the veg and a splash of water and cook for 2 minutes. Add the noodles and coriander and stir well. Serve the noodles with the sticky beef.

Thai beef noodle salad This simple thai noodle salad uses ready­cooked noodles and ready­made thai curry paste for a quick and easy answer to the midweek cooking dilemma

Ingredients 1. 300g sirloin steak 2. 1 tbsp vegetable oil 3. 1 tbsp red curry paste 4. Juice of 1 lime, plus extra wedges to serve 5. ½ tbsp fish sauce 6. 1 tbsp sweet chilli sauce 7. 300g ready­ cooked rice noodles 8. 2 red chillies, finely sliced 9. Small bunch each of mint and coriander, leaves picked

Method

1. Rub the steak all over with the oil and curry paste, then set aside for 10 minutes or so. Heat a non­stick frying pan over a high heat and sear the steak for 2 minutes on each side until medium rare, then set aside to rest. Mix the lime juice, fish sauce and sweet chilli sauce in a small bowl, then set aside. Slice the steak into thin strips, then toss through the noodles along with the dressing, sliced chillies and herbs.

Squeeze over a wedge of lime, then serve.

MUSTANGS GALLOPING SUCCESS

Method

1. Soak the rice noodles according to the pack instruc­ tions, then drain.

2. Meanwhile, heat the vegetable oil in a wok, stir­fry the shiitake mushrooms for 2 minutes, then stir in the red Thai curry paste.

3. Add the coconut milk and bring to a simmer. Add the sugar snap peas, baby corn, asparagus tips, fish sauce and cooked prawns.

4. Cook for a further 3 minutes, then stir in the noodles.

5. Serve with fresh coriander and lime wedges to squeeze over.

Sticky beef and noodle salad A delicious mix of juicy steak and fresh veg with noodles.

Ingredients 1. 4 x 175g rump or sirloin steaks 2. 50ml soy sauce Mustangs Bar based in Torre le Mata, which recently opened its doors in June 2014 is proving a big suc­ cess with people in the local community. Dena the owner, who has over 25 years experience in the Bar, Hotel and Restaurant business, has appointed Dominic Shaddick as Manager of the Bar. Mustangs Bar is a bright, airy bar with nice furnishings that create a friendly relaxed atmosphere for their clients.

Food will be available from 15 September with an International Menu available and Sunday Lunches will also be served. All the food will incorporate local fresh produce and will be presented by profes­ sional cooks. Mustangs Bar is having its official opening night on Saturday 30 August and Dena would like to extend a warm welcome to everyone.

Entertainment will be provided by local artiste Andy McBride and other Surprise artistes starting at 7pm.

Special offers on selected drinks will be available on the Night and various Cocktails are also available starting at just 6 Euros. So for a great night out, not to be missed, get yourself down to Mustangs Bar in Torre le Mata! For further information Tel: 698 238 462 OR 688 235 359.

28

Friday, August 22, 2014

5 Cool Summer Drinks Ginger Beer

3. To serve, strain the gin­ ger­beer base into a pitch­ er. Thinly slice the remain­ ing lemon and orange to form circles. Add the slices and mineral water to the pitcher and stir. Serve over ice.

Espresso Slushy

Ingredients • 4 lemons • 1 orange • 3/4 cup roughly chopped fresh ginger • 3/4 cup honey • 3/4 cup sugar • 1 1/4 cups orange juice • 4 cups sparkling mineral water, chilled Directions 1. Grate 2 tablespoons each of lemon and orange zest. Squeeze 1/3 cup lemon juice from 3 of the lemons. Set aside.

2. In a food processor, pulse the ginger, honey, and sugar until just com­ bined. Add the orange and lemon juices and process.

Transfer to a large lidded container. Add the orange and lemon zests and 2 cups of boiling water and stir until the sugar dissolves. Cool to room temperature. Cover and refrigerate for at least 24 hours and up to 5 days.

Iced Green Tea With Ginger and Mint

Ingredients • 3/4 cup sugar • 1/3 cup instant espresso • 1/4 cup lemon juice • 2 tablespoons lemon zest • 1 pint heavy cream (optional) Directions 1. In a medium saucepan over high heat, combine the sugar and 6 cups of water.

Bring to a boil. Cook until all the sugar dissolves.

Remove from heat, add the espresso, mix, and let steep for 10 minutes. Strain the liquid into a shallow pan (about 2 inches high). Add the lemon juice and zest.

Stir in 1/2 cup vodka or tequila before serving.

2. Place the pan in the freezer. Using a fork, crush the mixture every 30 min­ utes until it is firm but not frozen hard (should be slightly slushy), about 2 hours. To serve, spoon the slush into glasses or bowls.

Drizzle with cream and gar­ nish with more zest if desired.6

Ingredients • 3 ounces ginger, unpeeled and sliced • 1 cup mint leaves • 6 green­tea bags • 1/2 cup honey • 2 tablespoons lemon juice Directions 1. In a large saucepan over high heat, combine the ginger and 6 cups of water and bring to a boil. Remove from heat and add the mint and tea bags. Cover and let steep for 15 minutes.

2. Strain the liquid into a large pitcher or other con­ tainer. Add the honey and lemon juice; stir.

3. Chill in the refrigerator.

Serve in tall glasses over ice cubes and more mint leaves.

WatermelonMint Cooler Ingredients • 4 cups seedless water­ melon chunks (about 1 pound) • 1 1/2 cups lemonade • 1/2 cup fresh mint Directions 1. In a blender, puree the watermelon and lemonade;

Fresh Strawberry Shake

strain if desired.

2. Stir in the mint and serve over ice.

3. For an instant cocktail:

Ingredients • 1/2 cup milk • 1 pound strawberries, hulled • 1 pint vanilla ice cream Directions 1. Combine the milk, strawberries, and ice cream in a blender. Blend until mostly smooth with some pieces of strawberries remaining, 10 to 15 sec­

onds. Divide between four glasses and serve immedi­ ately.

Friday, August 22, 2014

29

30

Friday, August 22, 2014

HERE COME THE GIRLS! The Courier Newspaper, part of the TKO Media Group, has been established since February 2011 and this weeks’ edition sees us reach Nº 183. Since it first appeared on the streets, it’s continued to bring you the very best in local journalism, and in doing so has uncovered and investigated some very controversial, but none the less important stories to the lives of the resi­ dents and tourists to this part of the Costa Blanca!

Stability is always important in business, and The Courier are proud to announce that the overwhelming majority of the staff have been with the company since day one, and that includes the professional sales team – Jean Harris and Myra Macrae (pictured).

We’re sure you’ve seen them around and about the area working exceptionally hard to first establish, then maintain and then increase advertising sales over those 3 ½ years – no mean feat when you consider

this period has coincided with the difficult eco­ nomic times in Spain which have affected adver­ tising budgets.

Success in advertising sales isn’t just having a great product like The Courier to sell. Much is down to the relationship and rapport and trust between sales representative and client, and Jean and Myra between them have this down to a specialist art. The Courier are very proud to have them as part of the team.

The Courier have been made aware recently that there are people telephoning businesses in the area trying to sell products connected with the TKO Media Group and The Courier in particular and asking for Credit Card details over the telephone. If you have any doubts as to who you’re dealing with, please call The Courier office immediately on 966 921 003!

thediscountcard.es The Discount Card It does exactly what is says... it gives you a wide range of discounts in and around your local area. Perhaps it’s your favourite restaurant that’s giving you 10% off; it might be €10 discount of your next purchase in the local beauty parlour or if you’ve got friends and family staying with you, those extra people may well be able to enter somewhere totally free of charge. Just look on these pages and the new and more user friendly website at www.thediscountcard.es for details of those very satisfied customers who have already taken advantage of The Discount Card scheme!

For the business owner, The Discount Card can be an excellent way to increase your product awareness. It can encourage customers to try something new by simply offering them the chance to try something for free or at a discount. Encourage cus­ tomers who have had a great experience with you to return by awarding them with an extra incentive. Why not hand out a free Discount Card with each bill and tell them about a fantastic offer they will get next time they visit. Customers will be more likely to return and receive their special offer rather than try somewhere else.

Restaurants & Bars

31

Friday, August 22, 2014

Services

Lifestyle

Property

32

Friday, August 22, 2014

Horoscopes Aries March 21 ­ April 19 A social event could take place today involving a number of friends you may not have seen for a long time, Aries. You'll feel good about catching up and meeting exciting new people, too. Interesting infor­ mation could come your way. Someone might be upset about something and want a shoulder to cry on. But this should be mostly a happy and gratifying day for you.

Taurus April 20 ­ May 20 Have you been pursuing a career involv­ ing the creative arts, Taurus? If so, news of an upcoming success could come your way today. This is a gratifying day for you.

Friends could phone or come by to con­ gratulate you. Ideas for new projects could fill your head. Go out to dinner tonight with friends or your romantic part­ ner. You deserve it!

Gemini May 21 ­ June 20 A friend who lives far away might call or email you today, Gemini. Your friend may be planning to visit your area and want to get together with you. This should make you very happy, although at first you may worry that job responsibilities will interfere.

You can work around it. Mark the date of your friend's arrival on your calendar and look forward to it. Enjoy your day!

Cancer June 21 ­ July 22 Does your job have a good profit­sharing plan, Cancer, or do you own company stock? If so, expect to hear that its value has skyrocketed beyond what anyone had hoped. This is worthy of celebration.

You and your colleagues should do just that. A romantic interest might offer con­ gratulations. This trend is likely to contin­ ue. You might be a millionaire some day.

By Pandora Leo July 23 ­ August 22 Romance should be going beautifully for you today, Leo. Your romantic partner looks especially attractive and probably is in a great mood. You might decide to attend a lecture together or plan a week­ end getaway. Communication between you is open, honest, supportive, and lov­ ing. Don't let this day pass you by. Make sure you get together. This could end up being a day to remember.

Virgo August 23 ­ September 22 You've worked hard for your money, Virgo, and today you should reap the benefits of your efforts. Earnings, invest­ ments, property values ­ all should be worth considerably more than they were a year ago. Love, sex, and romance should also be going well, although you might have a few difficulties coordinating your schedule with your partner's.

Libra September 23 ­ October 22 A love partner may have heard some great career news today and want to take you out to celebrate, Libra. Go ­ no mat­ ter what you have to reschedule. Your friend is in a great mood, looks wonder­ ful, and is feeling very passionate and sexy. If you want a night to remember, don't let this chance pass you by. Also make sure you look your very best.

Scorpio October 23 ­ November 21 Relations with family and other household members should be at their very best today, Scorpio. If you see colleagues out­ side of work, they could also be congenial and supportive. This might stem from the fact that the lines of communication between you are wide open and you've reached a new understanding. Keep this going. It can only benefit everyone involved.

Sagittarius November 22 ­ December 21 Words of love could be exchanged between you and your romantic interest today, Sagittarius. Obstacles to open and honest communication have been cleared away in the past few weeks. You'll both be more apt than usual to express your feel­ ings. The only caveat is to not lay it on too thick. Even now, getting too mushy could be off­putting for your partner.

Capricorn December 22 ­ January 19 Money matters should be going well for you now, Capricorn, so today you might decide to make a long­desired expendi­ ture for your home. You might decide to buy furniture, do some redecorating, or even purchase a new home. Land invest­ ments might also warrant some consider­ ation. Whatever you do, you'll enjoy it.

The results could make a very positive difference in your home life.

Aquarius January 20 ­ February 18 You should look especially good today, Aquarius, and feel outgoing and charming.

Friends, neighbors, and strangers may comment on how great you look.

Communication is apt to be warm, informa­ tive, and supportive. Relationships of all kinds should strengthen. If you can sched­ ule a date for tonight with your partner, you may get an especially enthusiastic and gratifying response.

Pisces February 19 ­ March 20 Your imagination should be flying high today, Pisces, and your creative juices flowing freely. Exceptional ideas for proj­ ects involving writing, music, or painting could pop into your head during the day.

Start on one and list the others so you can refer to them later. Don't be surprised if you find your intuition increasing as well. Make the most of it all, and have fun.

33

Friday, August 22, 2014

RICHARD CAVENDER

Bluemoon Solutions www.bluemoonsolutions.es

BlueMoon Solutions is the computer and IT services com­ pany on the Costa Blanca, they provide quality computer services at realistic prices and specialise in working with home users and small businesses.

Richard moved to Spain eight years ago having left his management background behind in the UK and decided to use his IT skills to help home users and small businesses with their PC prob­ lems. Now a relaxed 'computer man' he is out and about in the Spanish sun every day, making house and shop calls and using his vast expe­ rience and qualifications to (usually) sort out the problem there and then. Computers are his hobby as well as his work so don’t be surprised to get an answer to your email in the early hours!

ADVICE: Nita wanted to know what “download as ZIP” ADVICE: Mick was having problems attaching scanned meant. documents to his email.

Hi Richard, you've helped me before as I'm a silver surfer. How do I “DOWNLOAD

Q A

AS ZIP”, it comes up on all my attachments now, windows 7 must have changed their system, all I can read is the first page and I've got 22 attachments to read some with 30 pages. Thanking you Nita.

Hi Nita, if you click on the icon above the words “download as ZIP” then you will be able to open the attachment without down­ loading it as a ZIP file.

ZIP files are useful when you have very large attachments, essentially your serv­ ice provider (Hotmail in this instance) compresses the attachment so that you can download it quicker – it’s something that is confusing a lot of people at the moment.

Given that the size of many of our attach­ ments aren’t huge and we tend to have decent internet connections, it’s usually not necessary to download as a ZIP. Hope this helps clarify things.

ADVICE: Kathy wanted to know why her AVG was counting down the days.

Q

Richard. About a week ago I got a message from AVG (bottom right hand side of the screen) that my AVG free version needed updates, I proceeded. I then started getting messages saying e.g. Only 21 days left for AVG protection ­ buy now. Can I ignore it? Kathy

Hi Kathy, it sounds like you have acci­ dentally (or intention­ ally I guess) upgrad­ ed to the trial version of the full AVG product, it will contin­ ue to count down until it hits 0 days left and will then ask for your payment details to con­ tinue protection.

If you want to return to the free version you can use the uninstall option for AVG in the pro­ grams section of the control panel.

A

Don’t forget you can follow me on twit­ ter @bluemoonspain Alternately why don’t you sign up for my newsletter. You can do this by going to:­ www.bluemoonsolutions.es and fill in the form that is on any page except the front page.

Can you help please? Experiencing scanner problems that are driving us mad!!

We have a computer with the Windows 7 O.S. The all­in­one printer we use is Epson Stylus SX405, when we try to attach a document to e­mail, we receive the following message:­ "The supported e­mail application is not installed. Install the e­mail applica­ tion and try again."

Not sure how to do this, The only thing we thought was to reinstall from the DVD that came with the printer, that we did today, but the same message still appears. The printer itself works okay with printing jobs. Is there a way to sort out the scanning problems please? Thanks for your time.

Regards, Mick

Q

A

Hi, yes I think I may know what’s going on here. Your email account is Yahoo and I suspect that you are using the webmail version of Yahoo, if this is the case, and your scanner is trying to use some sort of email program then it will fail ­ as you're not using an email program, you are using the webmail (if that is in fact the case?)

You can either use an email program for your email or save the scanned document to the documents file and attach it to the email in that way through the webmail.

ADVICE: Chris is having problems with his wife’s tablet after changing service providers.

Q

Hola Richard! I read your column every week and noticed that you use Internet Vega Baja. We have used Telefonica (Movistar) for many years and always thought about changing but are selling our house so never thought it worth the hassle. But recently our download speed went to less than 1Gb and they were no help at all...so enough was enough so today the man came from Internet Vega Baja and I have 6 Gb on this beastie! However, my wife recently bought a cheapie tablet from Media Markt (called Woxter) so that she can sit in the lounge with me and do her own thing­­­she always get 2 bars out of 4 and is quite happy with that (more patience than me).BUT she now gets NO signal at all from this new company­ in front of the router she gets full power but 4 metres away­­­­nada, zilch zero! Is there anything you can suggest, apart from buying an iPad! Any advice would be gratefully received as she is not a happy bunny! Thanks, Chris

A

Hi Chris, it sounds like the wireless signal that you are getting from Vega Baja is not as good as the one you had from Movistar, either that or they have placed you on a channel that is receiving more interference than your Movistar router did. Either way they should be able to sort it out for you, just give them a ring.

office@bluemoonsolutions.es www.bluemoonsolutions.es Mobile: 655 044 970

Office: 902 906 200

34

Friday, August 22, 2014

16-year-old Verstappen to race in Formula 1 TEENAGER Max Verstappen is confident he can handle the pressures of the world of Formula One and insists he is not worried about the sport's dangers.

The 16­year­old is set to become the youngest driv­ er in F1's history after join­ ing Toro Rosso for the 2015 campaign.

Verstappen ­ 17 in September and currently competing in Formula Three ­ will replace Frenchman Jean­Eric Vergne at the Red Bull­ owned team.

Regarding the media attention he is getting and will receive in the future, the Dutchman, son of ex­ F1 driver Jos Verstappen, told the BBC: "I am a relaxed guy, so I think I will handle it.

"I hope to offer a lot of action (on the track) of course.

"But I think, in the end, I am quite relaxed. For sure you have to work hard for it, but at the same time you can also have a little fun."

When then asked about the dangers of the sport, Verstappen said: "I'm not

that worried about it. The cars are really safe.

"I think it's more danger­ ous to cycle through a big city than to race in an F1 car."

He added: "It is really exciting. It was always my

dream since I was seven years old. In the beginning I couldn't believe it.

"The biggest step I had already was from karting to F3, and I think from F3 to F1 will be a smaller step.

"Of course (the physical pressure of F1 racing) is something we will have to work on, but for sure, at Red Bull, we will work it out.

"I think you have to be yourself all the time, and that is the most important thing. Only then, I think, you will succeed."

Toro Rosso team princi­ pal Franz Tost has stressed his belief that Verstappen has the ''men­ tal strength'' to cope with life in F1 and described the former karting world champion as ''one of the most skilled young drivers of the new generation''.

Meanwhile, former McLaren assistant team manager Tony Jardine,

who also worked with Brabham and Lotus, feels the news about Verstappen will not be greeted warmly by some of the drivers who

will be lining up on the grid with him next year.

Jardine told Sky Sports News: "What the senior drivers will think about it ­

don't ask them, because they won't like it."

Jardine is also in no doubt Verstappen has plenty of talent.

"This kid is good," Jardine said.

"He has been racing karts since he was around eight or nine years of age, he has won eight times already in the Formula Three series. So they decided to take him into the Red Bull junior team and he is going to replace Vergne.

"He looks like a wonder­ kid, but he is going to be the youngest­ever on a Grand Prix grid.

"In the Netherlands, where he comes from, the age is 18 to get your driv­ ing licence, so it is going to be a huge story for the Dutch media.

"But the point is, he has been racing since he was a little boy, like Lewis Hamilton.

"He will already have quite a few years of experi­ ence racing by the time he gets to the grid."

Friday, August 22, 2014

35

36

Friday, August 22, 2014

CODE CRACKER Code Cracker is a crossword puzzle with no clues; instead, every letter of the alphabet has been replaced by a number, the same number representing the same letter throughout the puzzle. All you have to do is decide which letter is represented by which number. In this week’s puzzle, 10 represents R and 14 represents P, when these letters have been entered throughout the puzzle, you should have enough information to start guessing words and discovering other letters.

QUICKIE

Across 1 Respectable (6) 4 Racket game (6) 9 Height (7) 10 Private instructor (5) 11 Later on (5) 12 Understand (7) 13 Beer (3) 14 Revolutionary (5) 16 Keen (5) 18 Male child (3) 19 Italian dumpling (7) 21 Concentration (5) 23 Force out (5) 24 Recount (7) 25 Be in a rage (6)

26 Overcome (6) Down 1 Lose hope (7) 2 Gregorian intonation (5) 3 Impartial (7) 5 Surplus (5) 6 Nought (7) 7 Wait on (5) 8 Indentations (11) 15 Chemical element (7) 16 Impose (7) 17 Admire (7) 19 Estimate (5) 20 Capture (5) 22 Pursue (5)

Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Satsuma, 4 Shift, 7 Scalp, 9 Soldier, 10 Express, 11 Seize, 12 Detest, 14 Gallop, 18 First, 20 Inflate, 22 Croatia, 23 Leave, 24 Solve, 25 Devoted.

Down: 1 Suspend, 2 Tramp, 3 Assist, 4 Sulks, 5 Initial, 6 Terse, 8 Press, 13 Turmoil, 15 Awful, 16 Pretend, 17 Lizard, 18 Focus, 19 Title, 21 Apart.

Scribble Pad

DOUBLE CROSS-WORD Solve the Double Cross­Word puzzle using either the standard or cryptic clues, the answers are exactly the same.

CRYTPIC CLUES Across 1 Wallops feet covering (5) 4 Hit and miss or damn silly (6) 9 Prepared for different trade­in (7) 10 Hand­cuffs (5) 11 Taking off from British Isles' Stanstead Airport (4) 12 The object is to add nothing to a cooked supper (7) 13 Abstract art shop (3) 14 The charge is all right (4) 16 Simple pastime as youngster? Not altogether (4) 18 Fill out a notebook (3) 20 Exeter motorway crash is far away (7) 21 Temptation found in Cuba, Italy and France (4) 24 Ran Kansas classes (5) 25 Church in China devel­ oping the bends (7) 26 Second part finishes, but still hands over the money (6)

27 Warbles in The Rising Sun (5) Down 1 Put down roots in North Yorkshire (6) 2 Young men's leggings (5) 3 Poison gases produce air (4) 5 Gripped exotic­bred boas (8) 6 Monsters created from dead organs (7) 7 Get the hang of being a teacher (6) 8 Translate taped expert (5) 13 Are Leeds constituents allowed to go free (8) 15 Very serious in gram­ matical form (7) 17 Should end in bear's whiskers (6) 18 Juicy fruit, penny apiece (5) 19 The rest from the Isley Brothers (6) 22 Once more a drink has the answer (5) 23 Appreciates lodgings (4)

STANDARD CLUES 27 Produces tones with the Across voice (5) 1 Foot coverings (5) Down 4 Haphazard (6) 1 Agree on (6) 9 Coached (7) 2 Cowboy leggings (5) 10 Cuffs (5) 3 Melody (4) 11 Fewer (4) 5 Engrossed (8) 12 Intention (7) 6 Fire­breathing beasts (7) 13 Long­tailed rodent (3) 7 Expert (6) 14 Not coarse or heavy (4) 8 Skilled (5) 16 Not difficult (4) 13 Set free (8) 18 Cushion (3) 15 Extreme (7) 20 Outermost (7) 17 Facial growths (6) 21 Angler's lure (4) 18 Juicy fruit (5) 24 Grades (5) 19 Alternatives (6) 25 Movable barrier used in 22 Once more (5) motor racing (7) 23 Temporary living quar­ 26 Pays out (6) ters (4) Last weeks Solution Across:7 Facade, 8 Turkey, 9 Maze, 10 Torments, 11 Fencing, 13 Borer, 15 Watch, 17 Gazebos, 20 Vicarage, 21 Spit, 22 Annexe, 23 Ironed.

Down:1 Damage, 2 Gate, 3 Neptune, 4 Stork, 5 Gruesome, 6 Beetle, 12 Cyclamen, 14 Javelin, 16 Aliens, 18 Oliver, 19 Caged, 21 Sloe.

Wordsearch

The aim of our Word Search puzzle is to find all the 33 words listed below hidden within the puzzle.

Ballet

Flamenco

Mambo

Stomp

Ballroom

Foxtrot

Mazurka

Swing

Bolero

Gavote

Minuet

Tango

Bossa nova Hoedown

Paso doble

Tarantella

Can­can

Jitterbug

Polka

Twist

Cha­cha

Jive

Quickstep

Waltz

Conga

Lambada

Rumba

Watusi

Disco

Macarena

Salsa

SPANISH-ENGLISH CROSSWORD

Improve your Spanish ­ clues in Spanish, answers in English or vice versa.

Across xx Down xx

37

Friday, August 22, 2014 Across 1 Part of the larynx con­ sisting of the vocal cords and the slit­like opening between them (7) 5 Fries food lightly and then stews it slowly in a closed container (7) 9 Race between teams in which each member runs or swims part of the dis­ tance (5) 10 Edible soft fruit related to the blackberry, consisting of a cluster of reddish­pink drupelets (9) 11 British children’s pro­ gramme, produced by BBC television, first transmitted in 1952, featuring the char­ acters Bill and Ben: The ­­­­ ­­ ­­­ Men (6,3) 12 Jewish scholar or teacher, especially one who studies or teaches Jewish law (5) 13 Christian hermit or recluse (7) 15 Person who vigorously supports their country and is prepared to defend it

against enemies or detrac­ tors (7) 17 Preposition meaning ‘in relation to’ or ‘with regard to’ derived from the French for ‘face to face’ (3­1­3) 19 Siberian breed of white or cream­coloured dog of the spitz family (7) 21 Large barrel­like con­ tainers used for storing liq­ uids, typically alcoholic drinks (5) 23 US name for an open car with a rumble seat or large boot instead of a rear seat and a single seat for two or three in front (9) 25 From a ship into the water (9) 26 Given name shared by Swiss tennis player, Federer, first man to run the four minute mile, Bannister and lead singer of the Who, Daltrey (5) 27 Marque registered by John Marston Co Ltd of Wolverhampton in 1888 that first made bicycles, then motorcycles and cars

SUDOKU (Easy)

Quiz Word

from the late 19th century until about 1936 (7) 28 London­born boxing manager and trainer who

worked with Frank Bruno, Charlie Magri, Maurice Hope, John H Stracey and Jim Watt: Terry ­­­­­­­ (7)

Down 1 Large African mammal with a very long neck and forelegs, having a coat pat­ terned with brown patches separated by lighter lines (7) 2 Non­participating observers (9) 3 Third studio album by Simon and Garfunkel: Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and ­­­­­ (5) 4 Unit of weight equal to 20 grains, used by apothe­ caries (7) 5 UK 1966 Top 5 hit for the Hollies written by Graham Gouldman (3,4) 6 Botanical garden devoted to trees (9) 7 Woody plant that is smaller than a tree and has several main stems arising at or near the ground (5) 8 Someone who cuts or beautifies hair (7) 14 Science fiction novella

by H G Wells published in 1897: The ­­­­­­­­­ Man (9) 16 Vocal trio formed in

August 1964 by session singers John Carter, Ken Lewis and Perry Ford. Their UK hit singles include: Funny How Love Can Be and Tossing and Turning (3,6) 17 Stage surname of punk musician, born John Simon Ritchie in May 1957: Sid ­­­­­­­ (7) 18 Use of irony to mock or convey contempt (7) 19 1989 British film that was a fictionalised account of the ‘Profumo Affair’, based on Anthony Summers’ 1987 book Honeytrap (7) 20 Waterless, desolate areas of land with little or no vegetation, typically ones covered with sand (7) 22 Flock of wild geese or swans in flight, typically in a V­shaped formation (5) 24 Small mouse­like insectivorous mammal with a long pointed snout and tiny eyes (5)

SALLY’S SIMPLE SPANISH

LOS NIÑOS ­ CHILDREN Match these words with their Spanish translations then find them in the wordsearch.

(Answers below)

colorear

jugar

correr

la niñera

dibujar

las fiestas

divertirse

la tarta

el chocolate

los caramelos

el colegio

los columpios

el juego

los juguetes

el parque

pintar

sports QUIZ

ANSEWRS 1. Italian Club Torino 2. 99 3. Malaysia 4. Alan Shearer 5. Tim Henman 6. Australian Rules Football 7. Tennis / Queens 8.

Sir Stanley Matthews 9. Goldie 10. Seven 11. Munich

Last Week’s Solutions Code Cracker Last weeks Quiz Word Solution ACROSS: 1 Goth, 3 Cappuccino, 10 Shot put, 11 Respect, 12 Rissole, 13 Stamen, 15 Neeps, 16 Hindsight, 18 Mayflower, 21 Basra, 23 Gnomon, 25 Ikebana, 27 Ezekiel, 28 Spectre, 29 Misogynist, 30 Fens. DOWN: 1 Gastronomy, 2 Tootsie, 4 Artie Shaw, 5 Paris, 6 Casuals, 7 Iceberg, 8 Oath, 9 Spooks, 14 Stratagems, 17 Narcissus, 19 Yankees, 20 Lemming, 21 Brevet, 22 Seattle, 24 Nylon, 26 Beam.

Empareja estas palabras ­ Match the Spanish and English words You will find the answers at the bottom of the quiz.

1.colorear, 2.correr, 3.dibujar,

14.los columpios,

i.to colour, j.the swings,

4.divertirse, 5.el chocolate,

15.los juguetes, 16.pintar.

k.the toys, l.to enjoy yourself,

6.el colegio, 7.el juego,

a.the park, b.the parties,

m.to run, n.the school, o.to play,

8.el parque, 9.jugar,

c.the sweets, d.to draw,

p.the baby sitter.

10.la niñera, 11.las fiestas,

e.the cake, f.the chocolate,

12.la tarta, 13.los caramelos,

g.to paint, h.the game,

Suduko

Span ­ Eng

Quizword

Answers: 1i, 2m, 3d, 4l, 5f, 6n, 7h, 8a, 9o, 10p, 11b, 12e, 13c, 14j, 15k, 16g.

1. Who did Dennis law play for immediately before Manchester United?

2. In Darts From What Number Under 100 , Is It Not Possible To Finish With 2 Darts?

3. In Which Country Is The Sepang Grand Pruix Circuit?

4. Who Was The First Footballer To Score 100 Goals In The English Premiership League?

5. Who Was Ranked As Britains No.1 Male Tennis Player In 2001?

6. At Which Sport Do The Brisbane Lions Play The Adelaide Crows?

7. What Sport Features In The Stella Artois Tournament?

8. Who Was The Fist Footballer To Receive A Knighthood?

9. In Rowing, Wjhat Is The Name Of Cambridge University's Reserve Team?

10. How many players make up a water polo team is it six, seven or eight?

11. At Which Games Were Israeli Competitors Kidnapped And Killed?

Fill It In

38

Friday, August 22, 2014

TRELI ON THE TELLY GO FOR GOTHAM

with ALEX TRELINSKI The LA screenings are not some kind of lewd Californian peep show, but the big annual gathering of TV executives around the world who look at the new autumn/spring US pro­ grammes and then decide whether or not to bid for them.

But there’s a major change amongst UK bosses, who are preferring to hold back, because they don’t want to spend what money they have on a lemon. Out of 50 major new series that will premier in the States over the next six months, just three so far have been picked up by UK broadcasters. Budgets are tighter of course, but with just one major new drama net­ work hit last season (The Blacklist), the buyers are being more cautious as they

wait to see how US ratings and reviews pan out. The massive standout in the screenings was the Batman prequel, Gotham, which got everybody rushing for their chequebooks, and the new American owners (Viacom) of Channel Five outbid their British rivals by shelling out half a million pounds for each episode! More modest deals were struck by ITV for the American version of Broadchurch (starring David Tennant) and by FOX UK for

a 10 episode drama made by the Sixth Sense guy, M.Night Shyamalan, called Wayward Pines. And that’s your lot for the time being, as we wait to see what’s a hit or what stinks.

q

For a country that gave birth to TV satire, British TV is now utterly useless at bringing anything that is risky and able to put the politicians and institutions in their place.

I wonder if the broadcasters are running scared, yet ironi­ cally across the pond, an American show hosted by a Brit is showing the UK how it should be done. Brummie comedian John Oliver pres­ ents Last Week Tonight for HBO, which is screened on Sky Atlantic and is essential­ ly Harry Hill’s TV Burp, but with news and current affairs.

Perhaps the format is not a surprise since the production company is the same one (Avalon) and it’s the funniest and sharpest bit of TV around. Oliver was a regular panellist on the first two series of Mock The Week, before he was “spotted” by Ricky Gervais and recom­

mended for work in the States. He also worked out that British TV was toothless in offering cutting edge satire, and he quickly became a big name in America. Just look for the show on You Tube, and you’ll gasp at how Last Week Tonight pulls no punches thanks to Oliver and his great writing and production team.

The template is out there, so will anybody have the guts to do a UK version (Sky per­ haps?) which would really get tongues wagging?

Having a couple of panel shows is just not good

enough.

q

I’m thoroughly enjoy­ ing Bradley Walsh’s Game Show Story on Sunday night on ITV. It’s a great nostalgia­fest, and some good work has gone into putting this together with some great interviews mixed in with the archive clips, and Walsh acting as an enthusiastic guide. This is how you should do a clip show, rather than trundling out a whole load of boring waffle from second­rate celebrities with their incon­ sequential memories.

Friday August 22 00:35 Paycheck 02:30 Holiday Weatherview 02:35 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Neighbourhood Blues 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Animal Saints and Sinners 12:45 Real Lives Reunited 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Perfection 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:30 The Hairy Bikers: Everyday Gourmets 17:30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 A Question of Sport 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 Scrappers 22:00 Boomers 22:30 Outnumbered 23:00 BBC News 23:25 BBC Regional News and Weather 23:35 Match of the Day at 50 22/08 00:20 BBC2 00:20 Horizon 01:20 Children of Syria 02:20 This Is BBC Two 07:10 Homes Under the Hammer

08:10 Fake Britain 08:55 The Big Allotment Challenge 09:55 Formula 1 11:35 The Travel Show 12:00 BBC News 12:30 BBC World News 12:55 Fred Dibnah's Magnificent Monuments 13:25 Cash in the Attic 13:55 Formula 1 15:35 The A to Z of TV Gardening 16:00 The Chef's Protege 16:30 Coast 17:15 Great Continental Railway Journeys 18:15 Flog It! 19:00 Two Tribes 19:30 Eggheads 20:00 Young Vets 21:00 Mastermind 21:30 Sweets Made Simple 22:00 The Great British Bake Off: An Extra Slice 22:30 Gardeners' World 23:00 Edinburgh Nights with Sue Perkins 23:30 Newsnight

00:40 01:35 04:00 04:25 05:15 06:05 07:00 09:30 10:25 11:30 13:30 14:30 14:55 15:00 16:00 16:59 17:00 18:00 19:00 19:30 20:00 20:30 21:00 21:30 22:00 23:00 23:30 23:40

The Chase Jackpot247 Tonight ITV Nightscreen Britain's Best Bakery The Jeremy Kyle Show Good Morning Britain Lorraine The Jeremy Kyle Show This Morning The Chase ITV News and Weather ITV News Meridian Judge Rinder Secret Dealers ITV Meridian Weather Tipping Point Gift Wrapped ITV News Meridian ITV News and Weather Emmerdale Coronation Street The Dales Coronation Street Doc Martin ITV News at Ten and Weather ITV News Meridian Couples Retreat

LOST AT SEA: AIR FRANCE 447 In June 2009, a state­of­the­art Air France Airbus A330 passenger jet flying from Rio de Janeiro to Paris vanished over the Atlantic Ocean. Based on official reports and eyewitness accounts, and with the aid of dramatic reconstructions and cutting­ edge CGI, this documentary charts the attempts to find the plane, recover the flight recorders and dis­ cover the cause of the crash, which killed all 228 people on board.

00:05 My Online Bride 01:05 Worst Place to Be a Pilot 02:10 One Born Every Minute USA 03:05 Dispatches 04:25 Food Unwrapped 04:55 Gordon Ramsay's Home Cooking 05:50 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 06:45 Deal or No Deal 07:40 3rd Rock from the Sun 08:30 The King of Queens 08:55 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:55 Frasier 10:55 The Big Bang Theory 11:50 Come Dine with Me 12:55 Channel 4 News Summary 13:00 Come Dine with Me 14:30 Channel 4 Racing 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 The Million Pound Drop 22:00 The Singer Takes It All 23:00 The Last Leg 23:50 Virtually Famous

00:00 Celebrity Big Brother's Bit on the Side 01:00 SuperCasino 04:10 Killing Spree 05:00 Wildlife SOS 05:20 Great Artists 05:45 House Doctor 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:55 Milkshake! Monkey 08:00 Pip Ahoy!

08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Little Princess 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 The Nightmare Neighbour Next Door 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Celebrity Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 Cheating Fate 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 On the Yorkshire Buses 21:00 Lost at Sea: Air France 447 22:00 Celebrity Big Brother 23:35 Celebrity Big Brother's Bit on the Side

39

Saturday August 23 02:45 This Is BBC Two 00:35 EastEnders 02:35 Weather for the Week Ahead 02:40 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 11:00 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites 12:30 Football Focus 13:00 BBC News; Weather 13:10 Formula 1 15:20 Live Challenge Cup Rugby League 18:20 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 18:40 Pointless Celebrities 19:30 Tumble 20:50 Doctor Who 22:10 Casualty 23:00 The National Lottery Live 23:10 BBC News; Weather

07:35 Formula 1 09:15 Formula 1 10:55 Formula 1 12:10 Coast 12:30 The Great British Bake Off: An Extra Slice 13:00 Talking Pictures 13:40 In Which We Serve 15:30 Escape to the Country 16:00 Flog It! 17:00 Final Score 18:30 Triathlon 20:00 Proms Extra 20:45 Dad's Army 21:15 Ancient Egypt: Life and Death in the Valley of the Kings 22:15 Andrew Marr’s Great Scots: The Writers Who Shaped a Nation 23:15 QI XL

23/08 00:00 BBC2 00:00 Weather 00:05 Precious 01:45 The Fifteen Billion Pound Railway

00:40 (500) Days of Summer 02:25 Derek 02:50 The Inbetweeners USA 03:15 Desperate Housewives 04:00 Revenge 04:40 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 05:35 Gordon Ramsay's Home Cooking 06:05 SuperScrimpers 06:10 Deal or No Deal 07:00 Close 07:05 Trans World Sport 08:00 Triathlon 08:55 The Morning Line 09:55 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:50 Frasier 11:50 The Big Bang Theory 12:40 The Simpsons 13:40 Heston's Great British Food 14:40 Channel 4 Racing 17:10 Come Dine with Me 19:40 Channel 4 News 20:05 The Restoration Man 21:00 Grand Designs 22:00 Red Lights

DOCTOR WHO

23:30 National Lottery Update 23:30 Match of the Day

01:50 Jackpot247 04:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 04:40 ITV Nightscreen 07:00 Pat & Stan 07:25 Dino Dan 07:50 Canimals 08:05 Sooty 08:15 Nerds & Monsters 08:40 Mr Bean: The Animated Series 08:55 Chowder 09:25 ITV News 09:30 Weekend 10:25 The Hungry Sailors 11:25 Murder, She Wrote 12:25 ITV News and Weather 12:34 ITV Meridian Weather 12:35 Columbo: No Time To Die 14:20 The Mighty Ducks 16:25 Weekend Escapes with Warwick Davis 16:55 Murder on the Orient Express 19:20 ITV Meridian Weather 19:30 ITV News and Weather 19:45 You've Been Framed!

20:45 Tipping Point: Lucky Stars 21:45 All Star Family Fortunes 22:45 Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi 23:45 ITV News and Weather 23:59 ITV Meridian Weather

Having briefly appeared at the end of last year's Christmas special, The Thick of It star Peter Capaldi goes on his first adventure as the Time Lord, taking over from Matt Smith. When he arrives in Victorian London, he finds a dinosaur causing havoc in the Thames, as well as a spate of deadly spontaneous combustions. Will Clara's friendship forged with the previous Doctor survive as they embark on a terrifying mission into the heart of an alien conspiracy?

00:35 Big Brother: Live from the House 01:15 SuperCasino 04:10 Celebrity Big Brother: Eviction 05:20 Great Artists 05:45 House Doctor 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Abby's Flying Fairy School 07:25 Bubble Guppies 07:35 The Mr Men Show 07:50 Chloe's Closet 08:05 Roobarb and Custard Too 08:10 Bananas in Pyjamas 08:25 Make Way for Noddy 08:35 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 08:40 City of Friends 08:55 Little Princess 09:10 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:20 Angelina Ballerina 09:35 Rupert Bear 09:50 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:05 Jelly Jamm 10:25 LazyTown 10:55 Access 11:00 Hercules the Human Bear 11:55 The Dog Rescuers 12:55 The Nightmare Neighbour Next Door 13:55 White Fang 2: Myth of the White Wolf 16:00 The Wizard of Oz 18:00 Michael Jackson's This Is It 20:10 ABBA @ 40: The Abba Years 21:05 ABBA @ 40: Live at Wembley 22:05 5 News Weekend 22:10 Celebrity Big Brother 23:10 Rob Brydon Live

Sunday August 24 04:05 This Is BBC Two 00:50 The Football League Show 02:10 Weather for the Week Ahead 02:15 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 08:40 Match of the Day 10:00 BBC News 11:00 Sunday Morning Live 12:00 Bargain Hunt 13:00 BBC News 13:05 Weather for the Week Ahead 13:10 Formula 1 16:30 Escape to the Country 17:30 The Great British Bake Off 18:30 Songs of Praise 19:05 Deadly 60 on a Mission 19:35 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 20:00 Nature's Miracle Orphans 21:00 Countryfile 22:00 The Village 23:00 BBC News; Regional News

07:00 Countryfile 08:00 Alan Titchmarsh's Garden Secrets 09:00 Gardeners' World 09:30 The Beechgrove Garden 10:00 The Football League Show 11:20 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites 12:50 Coast 13:15 MOTD2 Extra 14:00 Food & Drink 14:30 Sweets Made Simple 15:00 Flog It! Trade Secrets 15:30 Live Athletics 20:00 Formula 1 21:00 Dragons' Den 22:00 James May's Cars of the People 23:00 An Adventure in Space and Time

00:00 Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi 01:30 Jackpot247 04:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 04:40 ITV Nightscreen 07:00 Pat & Stan 07:25 Dino Dan 07:50 Canimals 08:05 Sooty 08:15 Nerds & Monsters 08:40 Mr Bean: The Animated Series 08:55 Chowder 09:25 ITV News 09:30 Weekend 10:25 May the Best House Win 11:25 Murder, She Wrote 12:20 ITV News and Weather 12:29 ITV Meridian Weather 12:30 River Monsters 13:30 Long Lost Family 14:30 Columbo Goes to the Guillotine 16:30 Midsomer Murders 18:30 Tipping Point 19:35 ITV Meridian Weather 19:45 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Come On Down! The Game Show Story 21:00 The Zoo 22:00 The Great War: The People's Story 23:00 ITV News and Weather 23:14 ITV Meridian Weather 23:15 Kids with Cameras: Diary of a Children's Ward

HOW BRITAIN WORKED

and Weather 23:25 Match of the Day 2

24/08 00:00 BBC2 00:00 Insomnia 01:50 The Sheltering Sky

Engineering enthusiast Guy Martin celebrates the workers of the Industrial Revolution by recreating some of the 19th century's most impressive techni­ cal achievements. Along the way he focuses on the unsung heroes of the time ­ the men, women and children who worked 14 hours a day for little pay to create extraordinary marvels that changed the country for ever.

00:15 Psychopath Night 02:05 The Last Leg 02:50 Homeland 03:45 Hollyoaks 05:55 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 06:50 Kirstie's Vintage Gems 07:10 How I Met Your Mother 07:35 British Formula 3 Championship 08:05 Triathlon 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 10:30 Sunday Brunch 13:30 George Clarke's Amazing Spaces 14:30 The Big Bang Theory 15:55 The Simpsons 16:25 Runaway Bride 18:40 Deal or No Deal 19:35 Channel 4 News 20:00 How Britain Worked 21:00 The Mill 22:00 The Cold Light of Day 23:50 Skyline

00:10 Autopsy: The Last Hours Of 01:10 Celebrity Big Brother's Bit on the Psych 02:10 SuperCasino 04:10 Celebrity Big Brother 05:00 House Doctor 05:25 Make It Big 06:15 Angels of Jarm 06:40 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Abby's Flying Fairy School 07:25 Bubble Guppies 07:35 The Mr Men Show 07:50 Chloe's Closet 08:05 Roobarb and Custard Too 08:10 Bananas in Pyjamas 08:25 Make Way for Noddy 08:35 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 08:40 City of Friends 08:55 Little Princess 09:10 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:20 Olly the Little White Van 09:25 Angelina Ballerina 09:45 Rupert Bear 10:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:15 Jelly Jamm 10:30 LazyTown 11:00 Highland Emergency 11:30 Police Interceptors 14:25 Beverly Hills Chihuahua 2 16:05 Holes 18:15 A Cinderella Story 20:05 Legally Blonde 21:55 5 News Weekend 22:00 Celebrity Big Brother 23:00 Under Siege

40

Monday August 25 00:35 Match of the Day at 50 01:35 Weather for the Week Ahead 01:40 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:00 Neighbourhood Blues 10:45 Homes Under the Hammer 11:45 Animal Saints and Sinners 12:30 Fake Britain 13:00 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:20 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:30 The Sorcerer's Apprentice 16:15 Escape to the Country 17:00 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 17:45 Pointless 18:29 Weather 18:30 BBC News 18:44 Weather 18:45 BBC London News 19:00 Countryfile 20:00 The Royal Edinburgh Military Tattoo 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 Miranda 22:00 New Tricks 23:00 BBC News 23:15 BBC Regional News and Weather 23:30 Have I Got Old News for You 25/08 00:30 BBC2 00:30 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

02:10 Countryfile 03:05 Holby City 04:05 This Is BBC Two 07:00 Homes Under the Hammer 08:00 Animal Saints and Sinners 08:45 Real Lives Reunited 09:15 Animal Park 10:15 Pollyanna 12:25 Swimming European Championships 14:30 Talking Pictures 15:05 North West Frontier 17:15 The Chef's Protege 17:45 Flog It! 18:30 Great British Railway Journeys 19:00 Two Tribes 19:30 Eggheads 20:00 University Challenge: Class of 2014 21:00 University Challenge 21:30 Scotland Decides: Salmond versus Darling 23:00 Dave Allen: The Immaculate Selection

00:15 01:10 03:10 03:55 04:45 05:35 06:05 07:00 09:30 10:25 11:30 12:30 13:30 14:30 14:35 14:40 15:35 16:40 17:40 18:35 18:45 19:00 20:00 20:30 21:00 21:30 22:00 23:00 23:10 23:15

The Cube The Store The Jeremy Kyle Show USA Motorsport UK Britain's Best Bakery ITV Nightscreen The Jeremy Kyle Show Good Morning Britain Lorraine The Jeremy Kyle Show Jo Frost Family Matters Dinner Date The Chase ITV News and Weather ITV News Meridian Judge Rinder Secret Dealers Tipping Point Gift Wrapped ITV News Meridian ITV News and Weather You've Been Framed!

Emmerdale Coronation Street Countrywise Coronation Street Long Lost Family ITV News at Ten and Weather ITV News Meridian The Zoo

01:35 First Time Farmers 02:30 The Million Pound Drop 03:25 The Hoarder Next Door 04:20 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 05:15 Kirstie's Vintage Gems 05:30 Gordon Ramsay's Home Cooking 06:00 Deal or No Deal 06:55 Happily N'Ever After 08:20 Dr Dolittle: Tail to the Chief 10:00 Frasier 11:00 The Big Bang Theory 12:00 Come Dine with Me 14:40 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 15:40 Countdown 16:30 Deal or No Deal 17:30 Win It Cook It 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:30 Food Unwrapped 21:30 Gadget Man 22:00 Royal Marines Commando School 23:00 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown

GADGET MAN Richard Ayoade returns with the show exploring the world of technology, from the everyday to the extraor­ dinary. In the first edition, he takes on the worst of the British climate, braving a hurricane in a wind tunnel with the help of Tim Vine to assess the best in gust­ busting gadgetry. He's also joined by Marcus Brigstocke at the Hemel Hempstead Snow Centre to pressure­test cold­weather technology ­ with unex­ pected results. Finally, he reveals his bespoke sur­ vival raft built to withstand the meteorological apoca­ lypse he's convinced is just around the corner.

00:55 Point Break 03:10 SuperCasino 04:10 Killing Spree 05:00 House Doctor 05:25 Make It Big 06:15 Angels of Jarm 06:40 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 08:00 Pip Ahoy!

08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Little Princess 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Criminals: Caught on Camera 12:40 Celebrity Big Brother 13:40 Home and Away 14:10 Neighbours 14:40 5 News Lunchtime 14:45 The Colditz Story 16:40 Zulu Dawn 18:55 5 News at 5 19:00 Neighbours 19:30 Home and Away 20:00 Cricket 2014 21:00 Police Interceptors 22:00 Celebrity Big Brother 23:00 Under the Dome

Tuesday August 26 00:00 Boomers 00:30 Live at the Apollo 01:00 Scotland Decides: Salmond versus Darling 02:30 Weather for the Week Ahead 02:35 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Neighbourhood Blues 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Animal Saints and Sinners 12:45 Fake Britain 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Perfection 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:30 The Hairy Bikers: Everyday Gourmets 17:30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 Holby City 22:00 In the Club 23:00 BBC News 23:25 BBC Regional News and Weather 23:35 Scrappers 26/08 00:00 BBC2 00:00 Confetti 01:35 Great War Diaries 02:35 This Is BBC Two 07:05 Homes Under the Hammer 08:05 Animal Saints and Sinners

08:50 Animal Park 09:20 Operation Hospital Food 10:05 The Men Who Made Us Spend 11:05 Animal SOS 11:35 HARDtalk 12:00 BBC News 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Fred Dibnah's Magnificent Monuments 13:30 Climbing Great Buildings 14:00 Breakaway 14:45 Cash in the Attic 15:15 The Chef's Protege 15:45 Celebrity MasterChef 16:30 Coast 17:15 Britain by Bike 17:45 Great British Railway Journeys 18:15 Flog It! 19:00 Two Tribes 19:30 Eggheads 20:00 Young Vets 21:00 Russia's Lost Princesses 22:00 Super Senses: The Secret Power of Animals 23:00 The Sarah Millican Television Programme 23:30 Newsnight

00:15 All Star Family Fortunes 01:05 Jackpot247 04:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 04:40 ITV Nightscreen 05:15 Britain's Best Bakery 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 The Chase 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV News Meridian 15:00 Judge Rinder 16:00 Secret Dealers 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 Gift Wrapped 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Ade at Sea 21:00 Midsomer Murders 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV News Meridian 23:40 The Chase

CSI: CRIME SCENE INVESTIGATION The CSIs are called to the scene of a car crash and dental records identify the dead driver as reporter John Merchiston, whose lawyer reveals he was working on an investigative piece about a domes­ tic intelligence­gathering operation headed by air force general Robert Lansdale. However, DB is shocked when Merchiston turns up alive and explains that his assistant was behind the wheel of the car, and Julie agrees to shelter him.

00:00 Ramsay's Hotel Hell 00:55 The Shooting Gallery 01:25 Heli 03:10 Scandal 04:00 Revenge 04:40 Sarah Beeny's Selling Houses 05:40 Gordon Ramsay's Home Cooking 06:05 Deal or No Deal 07:00 Countdown 07:45 3rd Rock from the Sun 08:35 The King of Queens 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 11:00 The Big Bang Theory 12:00 Come Dine with Me 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Come Dine with Me 14:40 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 15:40 Countdown 16:30 Deal or No Deal 17:30 Win It Cook It 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 Dogs: Their Secret Lives 22:00 Worst Place to Be a Pilot 23:00 Ramsay's Hotel Hell 23:55 Royal Marines Commando School

00:00 Celebrity Big Brother's Bit on the Side 01:00 Hercules the Human Bear 02:00 SuperCasino 04:10 Killing Spree 05:00 Wildlife SOS 05:20 Great Artists 05:45 House Doctor 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 08:00 Pip Ahoy!

08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Little Princess 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Police Interceptors 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Celebrity Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 Seventeen and Missing 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 Lost at Sea: Air France 447 21:00 Cowboy Builders 22:00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 23:00 Celebrity Big Brother

41

Wednesday August 27 00:05 Operation Wild 01:05 Weather for the Week Ahead 01:10 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Neighbourhood Blues 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Animal Saints and Sinners 12:45 Fake Britain 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Perfection 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:30 The Hairy Bikers: Everyday Gourmets 17:30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 Fake Britain 21:00 The Great British Bake Off 22:00 Panorama 23:00 BBC News 23:24 National Lottery Update 23:25 BBC Regional News and Weather 23:35 A Question of Sport 27/08 00:20 BBC2 00:20 Dragons' Den 01:20 The Secret History of Our Streets 02:20 John Bishop's Australia 03:20 This Is BBC Two

07:00 Homes Under the Hammer 08:00 Animal Saints and Sinners 08:45 Animal Park 09:15 Operation Hospital Food 10:00 Coast 11:00 Natural World 12:00 BBC News 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Fred Dibnah's Building of Britain 13:30 Climbing Great Buildings 14:00 Breakaway 14:45 Cash in the Attic 15:15 The Chef's Protege 15:45 Celebrity MasterChef 16:30 Coast 17:15 Britain by Bike 17:45 Great British Railway Journeys 18:15 Flog It! 19:00 Two Tribes 19:30 Eggheads 20:00 Young Vets 21:00 Hotel India 22:00 Horizon 23:00 Some People with Jokes 23:29 Weather 23:30 Newsnight

00:40 UEFA Champions League: Extra Time 01:30 Jackpot247 04:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 04:40 ITV Nightscreen 05:15 Britain's Best Bakery 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 The Chase 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV News Meridian 15:00 Judge Rinder 16:00 Secret Dealers 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 Gift Wrapped 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 The Secret Life Of 22:00 Secrets from the Asylum 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV News Meridian 23:40 The Betrayers

00:55 Poker 01:50 Cage Warriors 02:45 KOTV Boxing Weekly 03:15 British Formula 3 Championship 03:45 Triathlon 05:35 Trans World Sport 06:30 Gordon Ramsay's Home Cooking 07:00 Countdown 07:45 3rd Rock from the Sun 08:35 The King of Queens 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 11:00 The Big Bang Theory 12:00 Come Dine with Me 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Come Dine with Me 14:40 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 15:40 Countdown 16:30 Deal or No Deal 17:30 Win It Cook It 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 Sarah Beeny's Double Your House for Half the Money 22:00 Star Paws: The Rise of Superstar Pets 23:00 Educating Yorkshire

HOTEL INDIA

New series. The Taj Mahal Palace in Mumbai is one of India's oldest and most famous hotels and is where the super­rich go to be treated like the maharajahs of the country's past. This documen­ tary was filmed over the course of six months and goes behind the scenes with the 1,500­ strong staff as they respond to every whim and demand of the guests. In the first episode, gener­ al manager Gaurav and executive housekeeper Indrani spend days making countless checks ahead of VIP visits to the luxurious Tata suite, while oil trader Captain Bhasin hosts a cocktail party in his rooms.

00:00 Celebrity Big Brother's Bit on the Side 01:00 Law & Order: Special Victims Unit 01:55 SuperCasino 04:10 Wentworth Prison 05:00 Wildlife SOS 05:20 Great Artists 05:45 House Doctor 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 08:00 Pip Ahoy!

08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Little Princess 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 The Railway: First Great Western 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Celebrity Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:10 Rosamunde Pilcher: The Other Wife 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 Cricket 2014 21:00 Emergency Bikers 22:00 Celebrity Big Brother 23:00 Suspects

Thursday August 28 00:05 The League Cup Show 01:10 Weather for the Week Ahead 01:15 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Neighbourhood Blues 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Animal Saints and Sinners 12:45 Fake Britain 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Perfection 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:30 Hairy Bikers' Meals on Wheels Back on the Road 17:30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 DIY SOS 22:00 Who Do You Think You Are? 23:00 BBC News 23:25 BBC Regional News and Weather 23:35 Motorway Cops 28/08 00:20 BBC2 00:20 Super Senses: The Secret Power of Animals 01:20 Who Do You Think You Are? 02:20 Doctor Who 03:40 This Is BBC Two

07:05 Homes Under the Hammer 08:05 Animal Saints and Sinners 08:50 Animal Park 09:20 Operation Hospital Food 10:05 Escape to the Continent 11:05 Gardeners' World 11:35 HARDtalk 12:00 BBC News 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Fred Dibnah's Building of Britain 13:30 Climbing Great Buildings 14:00 Breakaway 14:45 Cash in the Attic 15:15 The Chef's Protege 15:45 Celebrity MasterChef 16:30 Coast 17:15 Britain by Bike 17:45 Great British Railway Journeys 18:15 Flog It! 19:00 Two Tribes 19:30 Eggheads 20:00 Live Athletics 22:00 Natural World 23:00 Backchat with Jack Whitehall and His D

00:40 Off the Beaten Track 01:05 Jackpot247 04:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 04:40 ITV Nightscreen 05:15 Britain's Best Bakery 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 The Chase 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV News Meridian 15:00 Judge Rinder 16:00 Secret Dealers 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 Gift Wrapped 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Tonight 21:00 Emmerdale 21:30 Harbour Lives 22:00 Prom Crazy: Frocks and Ferraris 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV News Meridian 23:40 The Cube

ANATOMY OF A MURDER Documentary charting in detail the events leading up to a murder, beginning with the killing of Stacey Mackie in January 2012. Stacey made a fatal error of judgement when she ended her friendship with Terrence Armer, who became abusive and threaten­ ing, culminating in his gaining entry to her flat, dous­ ing her in white spirit and setting her alight. The pro­ gramme features interviews with Stacey's mother and sister and a detective inspector from Cumbria police force, as well as expert analysis from a crimi­ nal psychologist.

00:00 Addicts' Symphony 01:20 Ramsay's Hotel Hell 02:10 Our Children 04:00 Broken Arrow 05:40 Gordon Ramsay's Home Cooking 06:05 Deal or No Deal 07:00 Countdown 07:45 3rd Rock from the Sun 08:35 The King of Queens 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 11:00 The Big Bang Theory 12:00 Come Dine with Me 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Come Dine with Me 14:40 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 15:40 Countdown 16:30 Deal or No Deal 17:30 Win It Cook It 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 Location, Location, Location 22:00 Stammer School: Musharaf Finds His Voice 23:00 First Time Farmers

00:00 Celebrity Big Brother's Bit on the Side 01:00 Big Brother: Live from the House 02:00 SuperCasino 04:10 The Royals 05:00 Wildlife SOS 05:20 Great Artists 05:45 House Doctor 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 08:00 Pip Ahoy!

08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Little Princess 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 On the Yorkshire Buses 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Celebrity Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:10 Rosamunde Pilcher: The Other Wife 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 The Railway: First Great Western 21:00 Anatomy of a Murder 22:00 Celebrity Big Brother 23:00 Suspects

42

Friday, August 22, 2014

AUCTIONS

ACCOUNTANTS Pro Business Support – for all your accountancy needs in English; bookkeep­ ing, taxes, wage slips and more. We cater for compa­ nies and self­employed peo­ ple; we can deal with every­ thing for you. Call us on 966 923 963 for first consultation free of charge.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS

BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY

tion and regular clientele.

This profitable, established leasehold restaurant has a fully fitted modern kitchen, disabled facilities and a fresh recently painted interi­ or. directbusinessbrokers .com Tel 966 44 33 81 Ref. DB6435L 97,000€ Large successfully run leasehold Beauty Salon near Quesada. Spacious salon with 7 rooms and rental income from separate hair salon. All fitness machines, treatment beds and tables included in the sale. directbusinessbro­ kers.com Tel 966 44 33 81 Ref. DB6457L 42,000€ Excellent opportunity to pur­

chase a well established and thriving leasehold Bar/Cafeteria in a central location in Torrevieja.

Beautiful established garden and south west facing ter­ race with BBQ and all year round trade. directbusiness­ brokers.com Tel 966 44 33 81 Ref. DB6456L 20,000€ Lively, popular leasehold Bar & Restaurant in a lovely position on La Manga over­ looking the port. Fully fitted kitchen and extensive sunny terraces. Freehold also available for purchase and flat above the premises. directbusinessbrokers.com Tel 966 44 33 81 Ref. DB6455L 150,000€ Profitable leasehold Café Bar, competitively priced for quick sale. Air conditioned interior with stylish decor and large terraces. Multiple income streams: food, drink, internet facilities, games and ice cream. Offering great

potential for further growth. directbusinessbrokers.com Tel 966 44 33 81 Ref. DB6446L 74,950€ Beautifully presented lease­ hold Garden Furniture Business, recently reduced in price. A successful and easy to run business with established website, signifi­ cant internet sales, cus­ tomer database and excel­ lent reputation locally. direct­ businessbrokers.com Tel 966 44 33 81 BUSINESS OPPORTUNI­ TY, two clothing shops for sale either as a pair or sep­ arate, both trading, sold fully

AUTO ENGINEERING

BLINDS

BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES Ref. DB6460L 85,000€ Restaurant in enviable loca­ tion with no local competi­

CATERING

equipped and stocked, a great opportunity for some­ one wanting their own busi­ ness, for more comprehen­ sive information contact Glen on 606926437 (164)

CHURCH SERVICES Torrevieja Christian Fellowship at Avenida de las Cortes Valencianas 68, Torrevieja 03183, welcome residents and visitors alike, to their friendly and lively 10.30 am. Service each Sunday morning.

During the month of August they will not be holding the Wednesday night meeting at 6.00 pm. For further infor­

CARPENTER

mation and/or directions please telephone 966700391 or visit our web­ site on www.tcf­spain.org."

International Christian Assembly, Calle Pilar de Horadada 5, Torrevieja.

Evangelical non­denomina­ tional church. Sunday serv­ ices 11am.

Children's church 11am. House groups in Torrevieja, Los Balcones, San Javier. Ladies meeting Thursdays 11am. Craft club, Tuesdays, 2pm.

Pastor, Rafael Restrepo. All nation­ alities welcome. Call 966 799 273 or 660 127 276.

Pilar Christian Community Church Calle Canalejas 3.

Pilar de la Horadada.

Sunday Service at 11am, and Thursday at 5pm for Prayer and Praise and Worship. Home groups meet during the week. All welcome from any church background or none. For further information contact PilarChristian.CommunityC hurch@gmail.com 968575417 or 966848806.

Reg No:2009­SG/A

BARBER

CONSTRUCTION

ALARMS

CLEANERS

43

Friday, August 22, 2014 The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (Mormons) meet at 10.00 each Sunday at their Torrevieja meetinghouse in the Torreaguas building on the corner of Rambla Juan Mateo Garcia 104, close to the windmill in Torrevieja, 667 533 597.

The rainbow centre for spiri­ tual awareness We meet in the function room at sacos bar el leiminar just of the CV 905 Rojales to torrievieja

GARDENER

road We have a divine serv­ ice on Sundays at 11am and on Wednesdays we hold an evening of clairvoyance at 7.30 pm Also on Wednesdays there is an open circle at 5.30 for those who are interested in clair­ voyance Healing is always available by certified healers after each meeting A warm welcome to friends old and new The mediums for the month of July 2014 are Wednesdays 2nd Debbie Blevins 9th Belinda & Jill 16th Trish and Shirley 23rd Sammy Fitzsimons 30th Paul & jennet. Closed until august 31st then Belinda & Sandra. Sundays 6th Paul & jennet 13th Belinda Bradley 20th ray bailey 27th Trish.

For further information call Trish on 966 844 795 or Email the rainbowcentre­ costablana@gmail.com

CAR BREAKERS

CARS FOR SALE Car insurance quotes – new extra discount on fully comprehensive policies at the price of third party!

Excellent prices for expats, all policies and call centre staff in English. We will call you back with a quote. 966 923 963

INSURANCE CASER SEGUROS ­ for all your insurance needs, home, car, health, funeral.

Policies available in English and German.

Call Professional Business Support on 966 923 963 for a quick quote from our friendly staff.

GUITAR LESSONS Guitar lessons for beginners and improvers. Provide an

insight into most styles.

From 10€ per hour. Call Peter on 966789612 or 629975378. Torrvieja

PROPERTY FOR RENT Viva Villa and Vacation Services, For Short or Long Term Rentals visit: www.vil­ laandvacation.com or Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Santiago de la Ribera 2 bed­ room townhouse close to beach and shops with com­ munal pool €350 monthly short or long term lease Call 0044 7890996330 ­ 968570645 (162) Ref: 61, A lovely two bed­ roomed ground floor apart­ ment, located in the centre of the small Spanish town of Los Montesinos, With a pleasant communal swim­ ming pool adjacent & all amenities in walking dis­

LONG TERM RENTALS

PROPERTY FOR SALE

tance. Long and short term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 WANTED! Properties, all types, in the Torrevieja area wanted for long term rentals.

Call us on 96 692 3963 2 or 3 bed / 2 bath apart­ ments in San Miguel. Lift, communal rooftop pool & solarium, video entry sys­ tem. Available for short or long term rent from 350 pcm. Tel 966723437 or 616 493 487. (184)

BPP­1808 230,000€ ­ 3 BEDROOM DETACHED HOUSE FOR SALE in LOS MONTISINOS, ALICANTE, SPAIN TEL: 966443381 BPP1804 3 bedroom detached villa a spacious family Villa Torrevieja For Sale fully furnished 240,000€ Tel: 966 44 33 81 BPP2896 Old style spanish 4 bedroom detached Monte Zenia property reasonably priced 175,000€ Tel: 966 44 33 81

UPHOLSTERY CLEANING

DRAINAGE PETS

44

Friday, August 22, 2014

BPP2897 3 BEDROOM SEMI­DETACHED HOUSE FOR SALE Aguas Nuevas 193,000€ Tel: 966 44 33 81 BPP2898 2 BEDROOM BUNGALOW FOR SALE Aguas Nuevas 125,000€ Tel: 966 44 33 81 BPP2901 2 Bedroom apart­ ment Aguas Nuevas 73,000€ Tel: 966 44 33 81 BPP2906 Large 3 BED­ ROOM BUNGALOW FOR SALE Aguas Nuevas 135,000€ Tel: 966 44 33 81 BPP 2907 Exceptional value 2 BEDROOM APARTMENT FOR SALE €49,950 Tel: 966 44 33 81 BPP2908 Excellent location 3 BEDROOM DETACHED HOUSE FOR SALE Villamartin €269,000 Tel: 966 44 33 81 BPP2903 Huge Executive 3 BEDROOM APARTMENT FOR SALE Los Montesinos €165,000 Tel: 966 44 33 81 BPP2899 2 BEDROOM BUNGALOW FOR SALE Torrevieja 59,000€ Tel: 966 44 33 81 Del Este, Santa Pola ­ 4 bedroom Duplex within a Secure Small Private Community. It has an inte­ gral large garage with sink, washing machine, large storage area. Independent large bedroom and full bath­ room.

American style kitchen, three bathrooms and cloakroom, front and back terraces, large solari­ um with bbq and shower, well maintained with a/c, ceiling fans. Communal Pool and third line from the beach. Sold with all white goods and furnished for 210,000 euros. 699613155 Ref: KP3100, €183,000.

Three bedroom, two bath­

room detached villa, located in San Luis, on a 450sqm plot, with communal pool.

Garage to side of house.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Immaculate ground floor Duplex, 2 beds, 2 bath, Private Parking, Situated in Novamar, Gran Alacant.

Price includes very tasteful furniture and white goods.

Walking distance to all local amenities and beach. Now only 129,750 euros. Ref No K24. 627 711 155 2 Bed, 1 Bath Ground floor duplex. Central heating, Grills, Fully furnished, Glazed in Galleria, 2 com­ munal pools, private parking and walking distance to the Gran Alacant commercial centre. Situated in the popu­ lar urbanisation of Puerto Marino. Now only 96,500 euros for quick sale Ref No. K46. 627 711 155 Recently reduced 4 Bed, 3 Bath Villa, in Gran Alacant.

Quiet Location, Exceptional Views. Converted Under build, 2 Lounges, 2 Kitchens, Private Garage and being sold Fully Furnished, now only 239.950 Ref: L81 Tel. 680333242 Gran Alacant Detached villa, located in a very sought after location.Situated on a 560m2 S/W facing plot and constructed in 2005.

Comprising of 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms (2 full baths), Lounge­Diner, fully equipped Kitchen, Porch and Solarium with Alicante & Sea Views. ref.L81. €258,000 neg.

Tel. 680333242 Gran Alacant Town House with a difference.

2

PLUMBERS

POOL TABLES

Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, Glazed in Porch, Quiet Location, Extra storage areas, and South Facing Private Pool as well as 2 communal pools. Fully Furnished, All mod cons.

Greenland Views and all local amenities close by.

Ref. No L79. 179.000 euros 680 333 242 2 Bedroom, 2 Bathroom, Unfurnished Mid Terraced Townhouse in GA. Recently decorated throughout means this property is a very clean black canvass.

Has Air­Con & Security Grills and the use of a Communal Pool. Price recently reduced to 110.000e Ref.K12 Tel. 627711155 Reduced for a quick sale to 95.000 e 2 Bedroom, 1 bath­ room, Top Floor Duplex in Gran Alacant. Very Modern Property with Many extras.

Glazed in Porch, Roof Top Solarium, Wooden Flooring.

Immaculate condition and ready to move in. Ref. K15 Tel. 627711155.

Gran Alacant, Situated in the "Alto" part of Gran

REMOVALS

Alacant, this 3 bedroomed, 4th floor apartment, offers luxury accommodation, with absolutely stunning sea views, as well as views of Alicante bay and the famous Santa Barbara Castle.The apartment is 89 square meters with open plan kitchen / living room and includes all electrical appli­ ances & furniture also there is a utility room, open ter­ race, and private parking.

The urbanisation also offers many communal pools, ten­ nis courts, restaurants and bars. Ref. K20 €109,000 Tel 680333242 Viva Villa and Vacation Services are pleased to offer property sales for the Torrevieja and Oriheula areas of the Costa Blanca, Spain. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 or Visit : www.villaandvacation.com Gran Alacant villa located in a very quiet area , situated at the end of a cul­de­sac means there is no through traffic.3 bed, 3 bath, 330m2 plot, established large gar­ dens, working fireplace, solar panel for hot water,pri­ vate parking, south facing great views, fully furnished, fantastic opportunity. ref.

L85. €215,000 Tel 680333242 Beach front Line property, over looks Carabassi Beach, Gran Alacant. 2 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, Secure Underground Parking, Fully furnished, Roof Top Solarium. 3 Large

Communal Pools, Fantastic communal Gardens, Tennis Courts and much more.

125.000 Euros Ref No. K23.

Tel. 627 711 155 Lovely clean detached Villa just as you enter Gran Alacant. Very central loca­ tion, 3 Bedrooms, 3 Bathrooms, Glazed in Porch, Garden Shed, Private Parking, Attractive Gardens, Private pool Ref: K59 240.000e Tel. 627711155 Offers Invited on a mid Terraced Town house in Gran Alacant. Comprising of 3 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, Lounge Diner, Galleria, Solarium, Under build.

Communal Pool and Gardens, and with Exceptional Views of Alicante. Being Sold Fully Furnished including White Goods. Ref. K42 Tel. 627711155 (reasonable offers only) Gran Alacant, Situated on the very first urbanisation as you enter Gran Alacant, this 2nd floor duplex offers taste and quality. Comprising of 2 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, lounge­diner, independent kitchen, full roof­top solari­ um with superb views and recently glazed in porch offering extra living area as well as extra privacy as the glass is mirrored. Ref.K44 €108,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant south­facing, very private villa, with wood­ land and Alicante views.

Situated at the end of a small cul­de­sac which means this villa enjoys a very peaceful location.3 Bedrooms with fitted wardrobes, 3 Bathrooms, lounge­diner with working

WANTED

fireplace, fully fitted kitchen with including white goods, large front porch, solarium,workshop and stor­ age in under build, central heating, air con H/C, ceiling fans, grills, UK T.V, off road parking and plenty of out­ side parking also. Due to its orientation of this property enjoys full sun, all day, something very important in the winter months. Ref.K24. €237,000 Tel 680333242

QUIZZES Experienced quiz­ master/question setter with personality available to host quiz nights in local bars.

Tel:­ 664 838 581

SITUATIONS VACANT RADIO COSTA INTERNA­ TIONAL needs motivated sellers. Spanish, English and German language is a bonus but not essential.

Training and good earnings guaranteed. For more info call 644 126 600 or email info@radicocostainterna­ tional.com Situations Vacant. Top Chef Required for The Med Bistro Bar, Guardamar. Excellent package and incentives. Tel. 0044 7917 1658 65 or email: andysteve@aol.com (168)

SITUATIONS WANTED Gardening, property mainte­ nance, translations, cheap rates call David 722521654.

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Let us help to solve your problems with debt recov­ ery, divorce, property, fraud, criminal defence. Call us on 966 923 963, give us brief details and get in touch with your specialist solicitor today

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POOLS

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45

Friday, August 22, 2014

Greenside Gossip IT’S WILDCARD TIME! IVIE DAVIES takes a weekly look at the golf scene - golfdavies@gmail.com

Paul McGinley and his US counterpart Tom Watson will be having a few sleep­ less nights over the next few days as they start to countdown to making their wildcard picks for next month’s Ryder Cup showdown at Gleneagles.

At least the veteran American can get some easier slumber with the injured Tiger Woods calling it quits last week, and avoid­ ing an awkward conversa­ tion a few days down the line. As former Ryder Cup player Andrew Coltart put it, Watson would have been relieved by Woods' decision.

"I don't think necessarily it's going to be a bad thing for the US team," said Coltart, who lost to Woods in the sin­ gles at Brookline in 1999, the only time the 14­time major winner has been on a winning team. “It’s certainly

a bit of a relief for Watson because it was a huge deci­ sion that he was going to have to come up with. The decision has been made for him."

Back in the European camp, where McGinley will declare his picks a week on Tuesday, it’s also the time that some players on the edge might be using some psychology. Take Scotland’s Marc Warren for example.

He ruled himself out of the reckoning for a Ryder Cup wild card despite claiming his first European Tour title for seven years. Winning the inaugural Made In Denmark event last Sunday moved the Scot to 20th on the Race to Dubai and 23rd in the European Ryder Cup points list. But he is not expecting a call from European captain Paul McGinley.

"That's not really in my

thinking," he said. "I think that ship has sailed. I've left it a little bit too late."

Warren had continued the form that he showed the previous week in finishing 15th in the US PGA Championship, but is he being unduly pessimistic in brushing aside a call from the European captain, espe­ cially when his game appears to be on the rise?

One player who can look forward to Gleneagles is home favourite Thomas Bjorn, who finished joint fourth in Denmark and feels he has done enough to qual­ ify for McGinlay's team with only two events remaining.

"I think I am there," said Bjorn. "I'm definitely taking this week off and will speak to Paul to see what his think­ ing is. I'll take a good close look at the list, but at the moment I feel like I need a couple of weeks off and I feel I am pretty much there."

SIGNS OF DESPAIR

I’ve read from our friends, the anonymous Costa Blanca Golf Course Association. that the number of visitors who specifically come here to this area to play are increasing. Better than that, the number of people playing Alicante area courses has increased tenfold to 600,000 rounds of golf. Now, by my simple arithmetic that’s in the region of 38,400,000€ based on an average green fee of 64€. If that’s not

enough, these golfing tourists spend 80 million euros per year. Shame they don’t get better service.

And that’s not all! The aver­ age daily expenditure is 230 euros, of which only 39 euros is spent on golf. They then say that 50 per cent is spent on car hire, shopping and eating out, which leaves 76 euros a day for travel and accommodation. My guess is that a big chunk of those 76 euros per day is spent on trying to find the golf course.

When I have asked the question, of why the signs do not go all the way, I was told they could not get a licence.

They are having a laugh, for getting a chunk of dosh like 80 million e u r o s t h e y should be doing somer­ saults to put up illuminated signs, every 5 Km. Then perhaps the golf­ ing tourists would spend more time and money hav­ ing a good time instead of playing “hunt the golf course”.

But it’s not just the Costa Blanca golfer that suffers

KNOW YOUR RULES QUESTION In stroke play, A's ball and B's ball are in the same area on the putting green. A marks the position of, and lifts, both balls with B's consent. When ‘A’ replaces them, they are inadver­ tently exchanged and ‘A’ putts out, from the right place, with B's ball and vice versa. What is the ruling?

ANSWER Each player is penalised two strokes under Rule 15­2.

As ‘B’ authorised ‘A’ to lift and replace his ball, ‘B’ cannot be exempted from penalty (Rules 20­1 and 20­3a).

this ultimate test to get to whack that little round ball, its worse on the Costa Calida. There is, to my knowledge, one course that has a “pukka” brown tourist sign, and that’s on the C3319 to Murcia for La Torre Golf Resort, although it is not on the correct junction which is 1000 meters away.

It would have been better 500 meters further on. But, this sign was only erected because they had a Davis Cup Tennis event there.

On the Costa d e l G o l f (Sol), it should be easy as they have a lot more g o l f courses in a smaller area, but no they suffer from the same m e n t a l i t y.

When you actually come to a sign it is minuscule and only has on it “Campo de Golf” but not which one!

Perhaps it was a ploy by course owners to get new customers – who knows?

Okay, I know there are Sat

Navs, iPads and Smart phones but even those can get it wrong and send you up the wrong road adding to panics. For those who know Font del Llop Golf and Alenda Golf will know the demand for signs, when you are on the A7. These two courses are close together about 7 Km but no signs anywhere, well not until you get there.

On the Costa del Sol they have come up with a solu­ tion, oh no not the authori­ ties or the Tourist board, but the local golfing public them­ selves! A local business­ man, a Scots hotelier fund­ ed the project and it’s called, obviously “Coursefinder” and covers all the courses on the Costa del Sol, as well as course information. It opens out for easy reading and simple graphic direc­ tions. Yes you have to pay for it but to keep the price low there are sponsors, but the “silent” stars are the golf courses themselves, as this publication will avoid bottle­ necks on the tees by late arrivals.

Now if the Costa Blanca Golf Course Association had any nous, they would take money from their over flow­ ing coffers and do the same.

On the other hand it would take longer than finding the courses, so we will have to wait for some enterprising organisation to come along instead!

TITTER ON THE TEE On hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Sandra went straight round to visit her grandmoth­ er. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her Gran explained “He had a heart attack when we were making love on Sunday morning” Horrified Sandra suggested having sex at the age of 94 was surely asking for trouble.

“Oh no” her Gran replied, “We had sex every Sunday morning, in time to the church bells, in with the dings and out with the dongs”.

She paused, and wiped away the tears. “If it wasn’t for that damn ice cream van going past, he’d still be alive”.

46

Friday, August 22, 2014

CAN DIEGO DO ILLICITANOS RELISH CHALLENGE IT AGAIN?

While Real Madrid and Barcelona have once more spent vast sums to win back the La Liga crown, they are set to face dogged competition again from champions Atletico Madrid who have a side built on a fraction of the cost. Atletico became the first team since Valencia in 2004 to knock Real and Barca from top spot back in May, breathing new life into the Spanish championship that had become a two­horse race.

Diego Simeone found success by building a side based on a strong team ethic and the belief that through hard work they could come out on top. Unsurprisingly, with Atletico winning the league and reaching the Champions League final, their playing stocks have been raided by richer clubs and talisman Diego Costa has left for Chelsea. But Atletico have also made some shrewd buys ahead of the new season and replaced Costa with the accomplished Mario Mandzukic from Bayern Munich.

As Atletico lost key players, Real and Barcelona once again reinforced with the cream of the market in the close season. Last year, the big signings were Gareth Bale and Neymar for Real and Barca respectively. This year, James Rodriguez and Luis Suarez have been brought in.

Real have made adjustments to the side that won the Champions League against Atletico, with midfielder Toni Kroos and keeper Keylor Navas coming in after shining at the World Cup. Barcelona, however, have made major changes.

Following the Catalan side's first season without a major tro­ phy in six years, Barca have brought in Luis Enrique as coach and strengthened the squad in many areas of the pitch. While the signing of Suarez has captured the attention of fans, the addition of defenders Jeremy Mathieu and Thomas Vermaelen was badly needed and they could make the difference in Barcelona's title hopes. The defence has been Barca's main weak point in recent seasons and they are the first centre­halves to be signed by the club since Dmytro Chygrynskiy in 2009.

The first round of matches this weekend sees the champi­ ons Atletico play on Monday night away to local rivals Rayo Vallecano, due to their Spanish Super League Cup fixtures.

That’s the same reason that Real Madrid fans will have to wait until Monday evening for their opener at home to Cordoba. The early focus will then be on Sunday evening as Elche travel to Barcelona.

ALL TO PLAY FOR REAL MADRID 1 ATLETICO MADRID 1

Elche centre­back, Sergio Pelegrin says that the pre­sea­ son friendlies, including a two­nil win at Tenerife count for nothing as they get ready for their big opening La Liga clash at Barcelona on Sunday night.

“We will show our true level this Sunday. We know it’ll be very difficult, but we’ll come out guns blazing with enthusiasm and motivation, and so why can’t we come away with some­ thing? We don’t know what level Barcelona will be at. “ Pelegrin also praised new signings, Enzo Roco and Jose Angel and their progress at the club so far:­ “Roco will give the team a lot and I love Jose Angel, he’s had a great pre­season and has earned a place in the first team.”

LUKA’S NEW DEAL

Real Madrid midfielder Luka Modric has signed a new four­ year contract with the club which will keep the Croatian inter­ national, 28, at the Bernabeu until 2018. Modric has made 67 appearances for the La Liga side and started Tuesday's Spanish Super Cup first leg against Atletico Madrid at the Bernabeu.

ALL HAIL FOR STEVE

It’s the big league kick­off for CD Torrevieja this Sunday as they entertain Atletico Saguntino at the Vincente Garcia sta­ dium, and manager Galiana will be looking for successive Sunday celebrations as he hit his 47th birthday last Sunday and is now looking to celebrate his first league win in charge of Torrevieja.

The man who might just get those celebrations going is Steve Thibaut Ekedi Soppo, a 23 year old native of Cameroon who played his football last season for the third division side Bergantinos in Galicia (group 1). He has scored four goals in pre­season matches in less than 150 minutes of play and fans are getting excited that this tall, strongly built striker is the key to success and promotion for the Salineros this term. Galiana is thinking hard on this subject, as main striker, Rafa Gomez has been in top form, not only scoring himself, but creating chances for colleagues with his skill and high work rate.

All that indications are that that Jorge and Adrian will also both be fit for Sunday's 7pm clash with Saguntino, who look like they have strengthened their squad over the summer very astutely. They will pose a stern test for Torrevieja, who like every team, are focussed on hitting the ground running with a win, to kick off the 40 match campaign with a victory.

Kick­off time is 7.00pm, with free entry for those aged under 16, plus a new five euro admission ticket for 16 to 21 year olds. Pre­match entertainment will be provided by the TKO FM roadshow.

CARLOS BECOMES VILLAN

BARCA FREEZE

Elche defensive midfielder, Carlos Sanchez made his expected move to the English Premier League last Friday, New signing James Rodriguez scored his first goal for but it was Aston Villa that he signed for, rather than early Barcelona will be unable to sign players until January 2016 front­runners, QPR. The Columbian international admitted in Real Madrid on Tuesday night but a late Raul Garcia equalis­ er for Atletico Madrid saw the first leg of the Spanish Super once the current transfer window shuts, after world governing an interview with Sky Sports that it was Villa’s Juan Pablo body Fifa rejected the club's appeal against a transfer ban. Angel that had convinced him to join the Midland side.

Cup finish on level terms.

Former Monaco striker Rodriguez, the Golden Boot winner Barca were were given the 14­month ban after being found “I spoke with Juan Pablo Angel. He said I absolutely had to at this summer's World Cup, netted in the 80th minute. But to have breached rules on signing international players under come and had no doubts. I spoke with Hugo Rodallega, the Garcia scrambled the ball home from a corner as the La Liga the age of 18. It was suspended after they appealed, allowing Fulham player, too, who said I have to come. I can’t really do them to sign Luis Suarez. Barcelona will now take the case the same as Juan Pablo because we play in different posi­ champions levelled ahead of tonight’s (Friday) second leg.

Real's Cristiano Ronaldo came off at half­time with a sus­ to the Court of Arbitration for Sport. The ban will start in the tions, but he is an inspiration, nonetheless. I’ve always want­ pected back injury. Afterwards, manager Carlo Ancelotti next transfer window, early next year, which means their ed to play in England. I had a few opportunities from other downplayed the significance of the injury. “He felt something summer buy will be unaffected, with club able to sign more clubs but when I had the opportunity to come here I had no and was uncomfortable. He’ll undergo all the checks and players before the current transfer window ends on 31 doubts. The most important thing was that the manager we’ll see what it is. It doesn’t seem to be anything serious.” August. wanted me here.”

Friday, August 22, 2014

47

CLASSIFIED ADVERTS

WANTED, FOR SALE AND FREE TO GOOD HOME… WANTED: Premier club manager, experience essential especially in relegation and domestic disputes, needs to work on very tight budget: apply S. Parish, Selhurst Park.

Crystal Palace do like to make life difficult for themselves, don’t they? (Nearly) everyone at Selhurst Park was hugely excited about the new season, but it suddenly all kicked off two days early. The Eagles walking­on­water manager Tony Pulis somehow fell in, then bailed out completely after a row with owner Steve Parish, the club’s self­proclaimed saviour­ from­administration. Last year the Palace supremo took his time in selecting his new man after Ian Holloway’s abrupt early doors self­propelled departure, this coming shortly after the Eagles had scrambled up from the Championship via the guard’s van play­offs in third place.

With the proud boast of never­having­been­relegated, only starting in November Tony Pulis steadied the ship in its bottom­placed tsunami, turned it round and by season­end had Palace sailing along strongly, even beating the likes of title­tilting Chelsea: performances which earned TP the Manager of the Year award. Now this latest disaster has foundered on the rocks of club induction policy, holing the Palace ship badly leaving the managerless team to take on Cup winners Arsenal. A spirited performance saw them go down valiantly 2 ­1 after leading. Would Tony’s team have lost?

Let’s shine a light on the wreck from a different direction,

how about these words from former Palace chairman Simon Jordan: “.. managers have to do as they are told. Football managers are incredibly difficult people to deal with because they believe their own hype. I know what managers will do, they will put you to the sword. If you don’t stand up and man­ age your football club properly, they will run havoc in it and then they will disappear into the ether when it least suits you…” Ouch! Is that how Steve Parish is feeling right now?

Caretaker manager Keith Millen pointed out in a BBC inter­ view that his team were owed a full explanation from the club’s senior management concerning their popular saviour manager’s sudden disappearance ‘into the ether’. Hey, bet that word ‘hype’ could be used then to great effect, eh, Simon?

PS for puzzling Palace – what about Paolo di Canio, Steve? ­ we could all do with a laugh…

FOR SALE: Premier manager; long, impressive CV hyped up (!) to include never­having­been­relegated. Most recent Prem achievement finishing 11th last season after starting only six months previously in bottom place. Working budget essential. Apply T.Pulis (via media).

Wither Tony Pulis now? His stock could not be higher cur­ rently. The football world witnessed last season’s Houdini trick with great interest: it was a visible miracle in the mighty Prem, as Fulham, Norwich and Cardiff bitterly observed to their cost at the end of their relegated seasons. If the biggies are currently spoken for, how about West Ham, Big Sam’s still suffering – or say West Brom or Villa might suit Tony. I know! What about Newcastle? Read on….

FREE TO GOOD HOME (BUTT NOT HOUSE TRAINED): Black­and­white striped, no shades­of­grey­ matter manager, experienced butt prone to verbal and vio­ lent outbursts. New owner collects, bring own muzzle (N.B needs big cash outlay to buy out present long contract*).

Apply Toon Army terraces, Tyneside …

The massively­unpopular – loathed isn’t too strong a word – Alan Pardew at Newcastle is also being squirmingly

BITER ARRIVES

Controversial Uruguayan striker, Luis Suárez, was offi­ cially presented as a Barcelona player last Tuesday, despite having come on for the last few minutes of Monday night’s friendly six­nil demolition of Leon, He said he was thrilled at the opportunity to join a club he’s supported for many years. As for his biting ban, he said that he just wants to forget about the past and focus on training, to get himself ready for when he’s available to play once more.

Suárez pointed out the part that his wife played her part in the move:­ “I’ve dreamed of playing for Barca for many years.

Everyone knows of the relationship my wife has with this city. The possibility of my coming here seemed distant, I

never could have imagined it. When I saw I could make it a reality, I forgot about everything else and wanted to come.

I’m fulfilling a dream I’ve had since childhood.”

Although currently banned from playing in competitive matches, Suárez is able to participate in friendly games, getting his first minutes in the Leon game on Monday night. “ “That was an unforgettable experience”, he enthused. “It was an emotional and spectacular feeling, because this has been a dream for me. I’ve never played at the Camp Nou. Getting to feel those sensations and to meet with the fans, I really liked that, but I’m still trying to believe I’ve ful­ filled such a beautiful dream.”

squeezed from above. After the ‘Joe­king’ Director of Football fiasco and other personal snubs, Pardew’s equally­ reviled chairman, mean Midas Mike Ashley has heaped more humiliation on his manager and his staff by withdraw­ ing their perk of free match tickets. Only Pardew’s crocodile­ thick skin could shield him from that type of embarrassment.

Man management mishaps? Pardew’s latest blunder involves fans favourite and highly­rated midfielder Hatem Ben Arfa. Following a heated dressing room row after the 4 ­ 0 defeat against Man Utd in April, Ben Arfa has played only once since for the Magpies. Yet again Pardew’s fragile tem­ per has erupted, causing his long­suffering club more unnecessary problems. The French star has now been cold­ shouldered and frozen out of the team, his number ten shirt given away to new signing Siem de Jong, and looks set to leave St James Park. Pardew’s own description of the Frenchman was ‘one of the most talented players he has worked with’ – and there’s been a few, so it looks like yet another own goal for the Magpies, remember Demba Ba? Does everyone know the unbelievable story of just how pushy, petty, punchy Pardew received his eight­year con­ tract windfall? In September 2012, the previous, now­ defunct managing director Derek Llambias awarded the agreement to Pardew that no other Prem manager enjoys, with the wonderful words: ‘It will reflect on the pitch, the fans will be happier, there won’t be all that chatter if the team go through a bad patch… ’. Apparently they still laugh about that in the Newcastle boardroom today; the irony is almost too much with the much­celebrated organised walk­out by those loyal fans in May, banners everywhere against Pardew and Ashley: you couldn’t make it up…

A previous colleague of mine often used to say ‘Comparisons are odious’, and to compare Pardew with Pulis is an insult to the latter man’s credibility and principles.

Pardew walk out on principle? Why aye man, you’re ‘aving a laff. But he’s got to go, somehow…

Friday, August 22, 2014

48

VAN ORDINAIRE!

City won, Liverpool won, Chelsea won, Arsenal won…United lost…again

On Saturday in the first game of the season, 70,000 of the Old Trafford faithful saw Man Utd begin again exactly where they left off ­ losing at home. United (still) aren’t very good, are they? Not everyone there was in a red rage, however, 5,000 Swansea supporters were in seventh heaven winning in the league at Old Trafford for the first time ever. Sure, sicknote excuses for Robin van Persie, Michael Carrick, Luke Shaw, Johnny Evans, Antonio Valencia etc, but in truth a sound, homespun, middle­of­ the­league/road provincial team of Premier League triers found Man United wanting – yet again…

It was rabbit­in­the headlights stuff, but now with a new, big, bully­boy boss who’s baffled with his new charges.

Ideally he wants to sack most of them and get his own men – but he can’t – yet. And right­hand honcho Ryan Giggs looked baffled too, as he whispered away to long­ faced Louis. The pre­season hype of United unbeaten in seven matches, 100% win ratio quickly evaporated in the heat of arguably the hottest league kitchen in the world.

In front of a stern­looking Sir Alex Ferguson, plus the double­Glazers, the capacity­full expectant crowd United only managed five minutes of fan frenzy that followed new El Capitano Wayne Rooney’s bicycle kick, eventual­ ly equalising Swansea’s slick opener. But soon that Icely­cool rotter Gylfi Sigurdsson pooped all over the party. Déjà vu, miserable Moyes memories... Hey, poor old David’s United beat Swansea in Swales on the open­ ing day last season. Now in the humiliatingly harsh Theatre of (bad) Dreams, Louis’ United lost their opening home league game for the Reds’ first time since 1972 ­ yet another undesirable statistic in the current soap

John McGregor reports

opera. Anyone good at maths? Is 3­5­2 better than 4­5­1?

What about 4­4­1­1? Or put another way Ki Sung Yueng translated into wun­nil­up…

Suspects for the apparently­impending Cull were conve­ niently on display: Fellaini, Young, Hernandez, Nani, these likelies were supplemented with a brace of young talent from United’s academy in Tyler Blackett and Jesse Lingard – one of van Gaal’s beliefs is blooding ‘em young. In the end it didn’t Mata, nobody making a Monkey out of our boyo Gary. It all added up to big prob­ lems for a big man on a big day.

Following the departure of Vidic, Ferdinand and Evra, United have now at last completed the £16m signing of versatile Argentinian defender Marcos Rojo from Sporting Lisbon, with Nani loaned the other way.

Summary: Super Sunday at Sunderland is next up for unsettled United; singing, swinging Swansea start in Swales against Burnley.

After last week’s uncharitable performance against Arsenal, United’s nasty neighbours and reigning cham­ pions Man City looked awesome on Sunday against Newcastle, who to be fair did give the Blues a game. But the ominous power, size, skill, and all­round superiority of City means it will take a very good side to wrest anoth­ er league triumph away from the Blues.

If there is to be a major challenge to City’s strutting supe­ riority it looks to be from West London, where Jose Mourinho is purring loudly about Cesc Fabregas and Diego Costa, that he has got the Blues balance right now. His Bridge boys blew away brand­new Burnley 3 – 1 on Monday after going a goal down: with sound cover for all positions, and in contrast to last year’s work­in­ progress season, Jose has announced Chelsea’s seri­ ous title ambitions this year ­ and most pundits’ pointers are swinging south…

After all the Scousehampton jokes, and Liverpool replac­ ing single Suarez with eight new players, surprisingly it

wasn’t all one­way traffic against Southampton as pre­ dicted (guilty­as­charged). The Saints almost went marching in, stunning Anfield as they equalised eagerly before finally going down 2 – 1 to Daniel Sturridge’s injury­time winner. Perhaps there still is enough talent left at St Mary’s, plus some new buys bought with the millions available to fulfil new manager Ronald Koeman’s claim that his new lads will not go down. We’ll soon see: Saints v West Brom Saturday.

Having savoured silver at last ambitious Arsenal put away spirited­but­leaderless Crystal Palace 2 – 1 at the expectant Emirates, but not before the Eagles had soared into the lead. Aaron Ramsey’s injury­time winner was a sickener for Palace, but gets the Gunners fired up for progress in the Prem.

Dier straights? Pochettino’s Spurs got of jail against luckless West Ham in East London. After having Kyle Naughton sent off early doors for handball, never­miss penalty taker Mark Noble inexplicably slid his shot just wide, only for supercool 20 year old sub Eric Dier to score the dreamatic winner in the 93rd minute to keep Tottenham fired up. Capital crackers see Palace v West Ham on Saturday, with Spurs at home to QPR on Sunday.

Ulloa, what have we here? Leicester’s return to Premier League status saw a sizzling 2 – 2 draw with Everton, with the Foxes new £8m Argentinian striker Leonardo Ulloa quickly snatching the equaliser after Aiden McGeady’s superb opener. Back came the Toffees to lead via Steven Naismith, but NZ sub Chris Woods put the locals into ecstasy with another timely late equaliser.

Huge test coming for Leicester’s credentials, away to Chelsea on Saturday.

Two top tasties this weekend: Everton v Arsenal should tell us a lot on Saturday, but irritatingly we’ll have to wait ‘til Monday night to see Man City take on Liverpool.

Bring ‘em on…