Week 182

Edition 3

(182)

www.thecourier.es

Thursday, August 14, 2014

AHOY THERE!

Guardia in sweep for boat refugees

By SALLY BENGTSSON 19 illegal immigrants were intercepted off the Costa Blanca try­ ing to land in three boats last weekend, as part of a major sweep of North Africans try­ ing to land in Spain.

Authorities say they caught nearly 300 North African migrants over the weekend trying to get into the country at different points from the Straits of Gibraltar up to the Costa Blanca, in what turned out the busiest period of the year for captur­ ing the illegal boat people.

The huge increase in the

number of would be immi­ grants is due to the good weather and calm waters between Spain and Africa over recent days.

Locally, the Guardia Civil's SIVE warning system was alerted to two boats in the early hours of Saturday morning, one which landed at Mil Palmeras, whilst the other was intercepted off Torrevieja. A third vessel was stopped later on, also off the Torrevieja coast. The immi­ grants, who came from North Africa, included a number of children, and they were all taken to the Guardia office in Torrevieja, and were

in good health despite the journey. They were treated by the Red Cross before being transferred to Alicante.

Only last week, 11 Algerians were intercepted in a boat off Santa Pola.

Meanwhile a boat of refugees landed at the Las Gaviotas area of La Manga in a situation that descended into semi­farce last Friday.

The craft, crammed with eight Algerians, came ashore with the engine being thrown into the water to try to avoid attracting any atten­ tion, but the illegals were rumbled by a number of tourists who rang the police.

Once the officers arrived, they started chasing them on

foot around the area, and managed to catch six out of the eight. They were all aged under 30.

On Saturday, Maritime Rescue picked up 22 men of North African origin discov­ ered in a small boat 13 nau­ tical miles east of Mojácar, Almería. One of them was a 17­year­old who had to be taken by helicopter to receive treatment for dia­ betes in Almería.

Hours later, Maritime Rescue had to rescue 19 more people after the small boat in which they were trav­ elling sank 70 nautical miles off the coast of Granada.

The migrants, who included three children and six women, three of whom were pregnant, were taken to Motril.

On Sunday, two boats carrying 27 sub­Saharans were intercepted when they were trying to reach the coasts of Algeciras and Tarifa in Cádiz province. The first was an inflatable dinghy with 10 people aboard, including a pregnant woman.

Doctors found her to be in a good health and decided to move her to Algeciras police premises along with the rest of the boat’s passengers

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Thursday, August 14, 2014

Are you a snapper? Do you have a great photo? Send it to design@thecourier.es and if we think it is good enough we will publish it as our Picture of the Week TELEPHONE

E­MAIL office@thecourier.es WEB www.thecourier.es HEAD OFFICE Calle Luis Canovas Martinez 1. Urb Aguas Nuevas, Torrevieja 03183, ALICANTE PHONE: 96 692 1003 Email: office@thecourier.es OPENING HOURS Mon ­ Fri 1030 to 1730 EDITOR Alex Trelinski CONSULTANT EDITOR Donna Gee ADVERTISING SALES 966 921 003 office@thecourier.es TELESALES 966 921 003 679 096 309 Sally Los Alcazares, San Javier 618 391 491 Myra Quesada, Rojales, Torrevieja, San Miguel Tel. 618 583 765 Jean La Zenia, Playa Flamenca, Cabo Roig Tel. 618 898 034 Patrick International Rep 5 Languages Tel 685 901 265 Writers Donna Gee Sally Bengtsson Jeanette Erath Alex Trelinski Dave Silver Tony Mayes John McGregor

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Picture of the Week

96 692 1003 679 096 309

The sunset over the mountains in Campoverde Photo by BERNADETTE GODDARD

PARANOIC PADDY A 39­year­old Irish man, Philip G has been arrested by police in Valencia City for pos­ session of 55 kilos of cocaine after throwing two suitcases full of drugs from a hotel win­ dow in a suspected attack of paranoia.

He booked into the Hotel Tryp Oceanic in Valencia for a weekend stay, and he took his own luggage into the lift and went to his eighth floor room.

The traveller though had a large amount of drugs in his possession, and fancying a bit of a dabble of his wares, Philip G soon began to suffer from paranoia. Staff described him as “beside himself and staring”. In his room, he mistook the sound of other guests going in and out of their rooms for someone com­ ing to steal his drugs and so he started stashing bags of drugs in the toilet cistern and the hotel room’s false ceiling, causing considerable damage.

However, things went onto another level when he threw two suitcases crammed with

cocaine out of the hotel window. Philip G rushed downstairs to grab them again but lit­ tle did he know, the police had already been called. Suitcases firmly back in his posses­ sion, Philip realised that he had left his room key back in the apartment, so off he trotted to reception to get another on, where he was promptly arrested by the authorities, who arrested and charged him with possession.

The drugs are said to have a street value of over three million euros, with police sources believing that the man may have become paranoid and acted under the belief that rival drug traffickers were closing in on him.

PRIEST DIES A Spanish missionary who contracted the Ebola virus while working in West Africa has died in hospital in Madrid. More than 1,000 people have died in Liberia, Guinea, Sierra Leone and Nigeria since the outbreak was first reported in February.

Miguel Pajares, 75, was airlifted back to Spain from Liberia last Thursday with a nun who tested negative for the virus.

He had been treated with an untested, experimental drug, Zmapp, with initial reports suggesting that he was in a stable condition.

Publication Published by TKO Media and Entertainment S.L. Printed by Localprint S.L Depósito legal A ­ 188 ­ 2014 The Courier, its publishers, members of staff and its agents do not accept responsibility for any readers letters or claims by advertisers nor can it be held responsible for any errors in advertise­ ments which are reproduced from poor artwork, low quality electronic data or inadequate instructions for text or other layout features. Further no responsibility is accepted for any loss or damage caused by an error, inaccuracy or non­ appearance of any advertisement, although all advertisements produced are checked prior to insertion. We regret that we cannot accept responsibility for more than ONE incorrect insertion and that no re­publication will be granted in the case of typographical or minor changes which do not affect the value of the advertisement. E&OE. NO PART OF THIS NEWSPAPER MAY BE REPRO­ DUCED WITHOUT THE WRITTEN CONSENT OF THE PUBLISHERS.

WHISTLE BLOWER

A Romanian prostitute who a gang tried to extort for money in the La Marina area got a nasty surprise when she complained to the police and the Guardia Civil and National Police arrested them.

The woman who “worked” on the roads around La Marina complained that she was being threatened by a number of men belonging to a gang who wanted “com­ mission” and “protection money” from her, and accused her of working in “their territory”. The prosti­ tute refused to bow to their demands, which included death threats, and she instead made a formal com­ plaint to the authorities.

Three Bulgarians and a

Norwegian were subse­ quently arrested, and charged with human traffick­ ing, prostitution, and belong­ ing to a criminal gang. They operated in the Elche and La Marina area, with the author­ ities able to free four Bulgarian women who worked as prostitutes from the gang and were kept in a house which agents described as being in an “inhuman” condition. Cash and a large supply of con­ doms were recovered by the police from the home, in addition to mobile phones and SIM cards, in addition to two cars.

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Thursday, August 14, 2014

A FINAL STEAL

An Algerian thief, who resorted to attacking a Norwegian couple with pepper spray in order to escape, has been arrested by the Guardia Civil in Pilar de la Horadada. He’s suspected of being involved in at least a dozen home rob­ beries as well stealing three cars and forging documents. He was arrested by the Guardia at the end of last month as part of their Operación Rincón 14 against thieves who increase their activities during the holiday season. Many of the crooks seem to operate during the afternoon when the tourists are on the beach or just using a communal pool, and may have left a door or window open.

The arrested Algerian cast his net far and wide, stealing around the Orihuela Costa, Rojales, Torrevieja, and San Miguel de Salinas areas, with the Guardia estimating the black market value of the stolen goods to be worth around 175 thousand euros. A search of his Pilar home uncovered an Aladdin’s cave of items including jewellery, phones, and high­end clothes.

MOON BEAMS DOWN

MOSCA OBJECTIONS

FINAL DRAG

A Barcelona man has been given the perfect incentive to give up all types of smoking after he was rushed to hospital Over eighteen hundred signatures have been collected in after his electronic cigarette exploded. The unnamed victim a campaign against a major building development on the was charging his E­cigarette near his bed when it blew up Orihuela Costa. The petition organised by the CLARO politi­ and set fire to his mattress. His bed went up in flames and he cal party wants key changes to the long­mooted Cala Mosca sustained burns to his arms. project to protect the environment and the flora and fauna of This is not the first time that exploding electronic cigarettes the area, with some fifteen hundred properties being pro­ have caused injuries. A man in the UK was killed last week posed. The Gomendio company have amended their plans when his e­cigarette 'exploded', apparently igniting oxygen which they say take account of environmental concerns. equipment he was using. Firefighters said the man may have The petition and a separate objection (alegación) by been using a charger that was not compatible with the e­cig­ CLARO. were handed in last Monday by Bob Houliston and arette.

Antonio Cerdan at the Playa Flamenca Town Hall, with a fur­ ther final 50 signatures in Orihuela City on Tuesday. They will be passed on to the Valencia regional government which must decide on the validity of the objections. If they are It’s not just accepted, the developer would be required to change his been the humans building plans. that have been The petition objects to the fact that the developer will not suffering in the reduce the number of new buildings in order to preserve the recent tempera­ environment and in particular to protect the two species, a tures, with the ani­ flower and a snail, which are present on Cala Mosca and mals at Murcia’s which they claim need protection. CLARO says that instead Terra Natura park of building houses where the two species are at present con­ needing to keep centrated, the developer’s plans propose to create gardens, cool. Many of the play areas and car parks which would put the two species in creatures there danger. are originally from much colder climes, and so keeping them cool has been an arduous task for their carers, who have dis­ covered that ice lollies are doing the trick, certainly for the bears and lemurs. The lollies are made with water melons, raisins, apples and pears, and are made using 25 kilos of fresh fruit. The other animals in the park are also getting extra fruit, to ensure they are hydrated as much as possible.

ANIMALS HAVE IT LICKED

GOOD AND BAD

Four thousand people dressed in white had a special din­ ing experience last Friday night in Santa Pola in what is claimed to be the world's biggest dinner. The annual Full Moon dinner with hundreds of tables stretched along the Paseo Vicealmirante Blanco García, also brought a variety of entertainment as well as a chance to look at the full moon through telescopes provided local astronomer's club. The aim of the evening, organised by the local neighbourhood association, was to bolster community spirit and awareness of local charities.

FOOD BLOW

If the drought hasn’t been bad enough for Costa Blanca farmers, there’s a fresh problem with the fear that a ban on Spanish fruit and vegetable imports by Russia could cost local growers around 140 million euros in the Valencia region. A local farmer’s union spokesman came up with the figure, saying that his members could suffer badly if sanc­ tions start to escalate in the wake of the situation in the Ukraine.

ROCK FALL

Workers moved in this week to stop any further landslips at Campoamor’s Barranco Rubio beach.

Rocks started falling the pre­ vious week, with the works being undertaken as a matter of urgency by Orihuela coun­ cil, with access being restrict­ ed for beach goers and bathers.

SUNDAY SIZZLER

Alicante­Elche airport clocked up another record­breaking month with July’s figures showing over 1.2 million passen­ gers, meaning four straight months of best ever figures. The July return was 2.3 per cent higher than the same month last year, with once again UK travellers leading the way at just over half a million, with Norway second at 100 thousand.

There was also a significant rise in domestic air traffic. There was a more modest percentage rise at San Javier airport, with the facility hosting just over 120 thousand travellers in July, which was a 0.3 per cent rise on the figures for 2013. Of greater concern was the figure of 1.7 per cent fewer passen­ gers using San Javier over the first seven months of 2014, compared to last year.

The Costa Blanca clocked up the highest temperatures of the year last weekend, with some inland areas hitting around 40 degrees on Sunday, whilst the coasts were cooler at around 35 degrees, with beaches packed like in Torrevieja.

Lower temperatures are predicted for this holiday weekend, with tomorrow (Friday) being the feast day of the Assumption of the Virgin Mary. There’s even the chance of an isolated localised shower.

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Thursday, August 14, 2014

MIXED PICTURE BIG MOLAR MORE SURFING

Total property sales in Spain rose for the fourth straight month in a row in June with the second­hand home sector driving the increase, according to official figures.

Property sales in June were up 8.8 percent on a year earlier, with June being the fourth successive month to see a rise, after a ten month slump in sales. But, total property sales for the period January to June 2014 were still down 5.2 percent on the same period in 2013.

A total of 171,596 properties were sold in the first six months of last year, while 162,591 went under the hammer from January to June 2014. The June 2014 figures were also down 7.4 percent on May 2014 numbers.

A tooth belong­ ing to a species of dinosaur thought to have become extinct over six mil­ lion years ago has been found in Lepe in southern Spain.

Experts say the creature, a Carcharocles Megalodon, is a type of prehistoric shark which would have been around 18 metres (58'6") long ­ and in fact, the tooth itself is over six inches in length. Other dental parts belonging to dinosaurs have been discovered in the same area of Huelva province, but none as large or as intact as this one, say archaeologists specialising in the prehistoric Cenozoic era.

Santa Pola is plan­ ning to make sure that you can surf the web as well as surfing in the sea, as it intro­ duces Wifi at all its beaches. Free internet access has already been rolled at Levante beach (pictured) with Gran Playa being next on the list. The project is being run by Telecable Santa Pola with no cost to the public purse.

THAT’S ALL FOLKS

NO REVIVAL OFIPOL IS GO

40 per cent of the vineyards around the La Mata area of Torrevieja have been ravaged by rabbits, adding to the woes caused by the current drought. The combination of the weather and the pest has badly affected production of a num­ ber of wines, with farmers calling for action against the rab­ bits and birds that have damage the crops.

DROP OF CONCERN

Torrevieja’s new hi­tech crime reporting booth, Ofipol, offi­ cially launched this week on the Paseo de Vista Alegre. It’s the second such booth in the country following in the foot­ steps of Malaga, where people can make complaints and crime reports via a video link to the Guardia Civil and the National Police. The vandal­proof booth will provide a link all day and all night and can also be used to renew documents.

POPULAR RENTALS

Los Montesinos council has blocked the re­opening of the controversial Revival nightclub for a one­off event planned for tomorrow night (Friday). The techno music club was closed towards the start of 2013 over licensing issues and a breach of environmental law with it technically being inside the La Mata and Torrevieja Nature Park. Council officials said that a lack of basic security measures was one of many issues that concerned it as well as permission not having been sought for the event, which has now been switched to Alicante City. Last week, the first ever Campoamor Music Festival was cancelled due to it failing to meet the safety standards required by the local Orihuela council, yet ten thousand people still descended on the La Glea beach area.

Spanish consumer prices have had their biggest fall since October 2009. With big unemployment figures, people are cautious about spending, with prices being kept down by the lower cost of entertainment, electricity, tobacco, food and soft drinks. Such a downward trend could cause something called deflation and the economy stagnating as consumers choose to curb their purchases, in the hope of even further price reductions.

SEASIDE SPECIAL

DEAD FLIPPER

63 per cent of visitors to the Costa Blanca who travel with friends, choose to rent property together according to Migoa.com. But there appears to be a growing trend where more families travelling as a single unit are looking to rent (17 per cent) as well as couples(18 per cent). Rental stays aver­ age out at 7.4 days and 71 per cent of tourists use a credit card for their stay. The majority of those staying in rental accommodation said that it was a good way to save money without losing basic comforts. An interesting result from the survey was that the average booking time was just 51 days in advance.

DEAD AND BURIED

Researchers in Ciudad Real province have found the buried remains of Spain's Islamic civilization in a site so full of rich­ es they believe it could provide up to two centuries worth of discoveries.

The dig has only taken over a fortnight but already excava­ tions in Alcázar de San Juan have turned up some exciting finds, including an ancient necropolis containing seven bod­ ies. Experts saw the discovery of the necropolis is vital because it is one of the few pieces of evidence that Muslims lived in the area. Much of Spain was under Islamic rule from the eighth to the thirteenth centuries with the Mezquita of Cordoba and Granada's Alhambra palace being among the most visible symbols of the period.

Researchers from the University of Castilla­La Mancha University say they have already unearthed fragments of household goods from the bronze age as well as a Roman inscription and traces of Celtiberian settlements.

A surprise bumper bundle washed up on Las Higuericas beach in Pilar de la Horadada on Tuesday morning:­ some 30 kilos of cannabis which was impounded by the Guardia Civil. Nobody has been in touch with the authorities to claim the lost package!

Sun seekers got a sad surprise on at El Mojon beach in San Pedro del Pinatar on Sunday when the body of a dead dolphin was washed ashore. A specialist team was drafted in to remove it.

MANY BAGS

CHEAP TRIP

How do you fancy travelling by train to Barcelona from Alicante for just over 17 euros one way? It’s one of the spe­ cial promotions being put on by train company Renfe for their long distance services in the Mediterranean Corridor, with discounts of up to 70% being offered until the end of September. Some 100 thousand tickets are being reduced in price with internet access via renfe.com.

Over 150 bags have been filled with rubbish in a sweep­up close to the mouth of the River Segura by volunteers working in the Guardamar area. The environmentalists have concen­ trated their clean up on the stretch between the Old River and the New River(La Gola) over the last few weeks backed by the local council.

Thursday, August 14, 2014

GIB’S FAG ALERT

Spain is going to get tough over tobacco and money launder­ ing in Gibraltar, after the European Union ordered both Spain and Britain to take action over the problem com­ ing out of the UK sovereign territory.

Prosecutors with Spain's High Court will investigate illegal activity, in the wake of a report from the European Commission's anti­fraud office, Olaf, in which the agency said there was "reason to believe" such ille­ gal activity had taken place in Gibraltar.

The report has not been made public but lends weight to assertions from Spain that Gibraltar is a smuggling hotspot and a tax haven for criminals. It also helps Spain jus­ tify the lengthy queues at the Gibraltarian border, a situation which has caused friction between Spain and Britain over the last year.

Relations between London and Madrid became particularly strained in 2013 after Gibraltar dropped 70 concrete blocks into the sea in July, in what its government said was an attempt to create an artificial reef.

The move had the effect of also blocking

Spanish fishing boats from operat­ ing close to the airport runway, and M a d r i d responded by introduc­ ing stringent b o r d e r checks.

To b a c c o imports into Gibraltar tripled from 2006 to 2011. In 2012 alone, 110 million packets of cigarettes were imported which according to Spanish sources would mean that every Gibraltarian in a population of 30 thousand, including babies, would be smoking nine packets of cigarettes a day. Tobacco prices in Gibraltar are far cheaper in Gibraltar — around €25 to €27 for a carton — than in Spain, where the cost ranges from €40 to €44. Spanish authorities say much of the tobacco imported into Gibraltar is smuggled across the border into Spain, meaning loss­ es to Spain's tax coffers of around €1.2 bil­ lion, while Gibraltar argues tourists buy much of the imported tobacco. In the first five months of 2014, Spanish police stopped 2,793 people crossing the border with more than their permitted tobacco allowance. A total of 295,698 packets were seized in the same period.

A British coach driver was arrested and 62 pas­ sengers left stranded overnight at a police check­ point in Girona when it was found that another person's tachograph card had been inserted in the vehicle. Some of the travellers booked into hotels for the night when they realised they would not be going anywhere, but around eight of them stayed on board the coach overnight and were given lifts to the railway station in Girona city the next morning by police.

Low­cost travel company Megabus.com, was taking the passengers from London to Barcelona when the coach was pulled over during a random check on the AP­7 motor­ way in Maçanet de la Selva last Sunday afternoon. Police found that the driver had

used a col­ league's tachograph card to make it look as though he had been on the road far less time. A relief driver had not been provided which meant that the arrested man had done the full journey between the UK and the Costa Brava.

Travellers then faced a seven­hour wait before most of them decided to seek hotel rooms at around midnight. Others were afraid a driver would appear and take off without them, so they opted to stay put.

Megabus.com has agreed to reimburse passengers for their hotel stays and for any alternative transport they decided to take to reach their final destinations, whilst the driver appeared before on a judge on Monday, and was bailed.

An invasion of jellyfish made life impossi­ ble for bathers on some Mar Menor beach­ es last weekend. The Los Urrutias and Punta Brava beaches south of Los Alcazares were especially badly hit, with the problem caused by the pilfering of lead weights that were used to keep down the special netting against the jellyfish during the summer.

Up to two kilometres of the netting was made useless by the theft allowing the jelly­ fish to come ashore, as well as making it

impossible for swimmers to use the water.

Council officials tried to clean the jellyfish away, but a fresh crop returned within min­ utes. The good news was that the particular variety known as Cotylohiza tuberculate had no sting as opposed to nastier breeds like the Portuguese Caravel.

The nets were eventually repaired on Monday, and specialists came in to fish out the remaining jelly fish. The Mar Menor has some 43 km of nets to protect the beaches all the way around the natural salt lagoon.

MEGA DELAY

UNWELCOME GUESTS

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Thursday, August 14, 2014

editor@thecourier.es COURIER POSTBAG: YOUR VIEWS ON OUR NEWS

Why are Telefonica so unhelpful?

WHY are Telefonica so difficult to deal with?

I have bought a house in Campoverde that is 10 years old, but has never been lived in before.

The house is wired for a phone line out to the Telefonica box in the pavement outside my house.

The Telefonica engineer said he could not connect us because when the street was built Telefonica failed to wire it up properly.

The junction box for the whole street is 10 metres across the road, and the connection to my house should come via my neighbour’s box in the pavement 15 metres away.

Every time I phone 1004, the engineering department, they tell me it is impossible to connect me.

If Telefonica cannot connect me to a phone line, then who can, when all the rest of the urbanisation is con­ nected?

When they failed to do their job properly in the first place, how does one get them to be more customer friendly?

Any advice would be appreciated.

DAVID FENTUM, Campoverde

CHAMPION NICO ON TOP OF THE WORLD!

BY DONNA GEE TEENAGE tennis sensation Nicola Kuhn's decision to switch his allegiance from Spain to Germany has paid off big­time.

The Torrevieja youngster has just added the World Junior Championship to an amazing list of Under­14 title successes this year.

Germany, spearheaded by Kuhn and his friend and arch­rival Rudolf Molleker, demolished Canada in Sunday's final in the Czech Republic to win their third major tournament of 2014.

Kuhn and Molleker have spent this year ranked firmly inside Europe's individual Top 10 – winning individual tournaments as well as combining to win both European team competitions, the Winter Cup and the Copa Del Sol. Two weeks ago, they reaffirmed their dominance when Molleker won the European Junior Championship, Kuhn reached the semis, and they WORLDBEATERS: Nicola Kuhn (left) celebrates with his German teammates teamed up to claim doubles silver years to come. The two 14­year­olds, who both Says Nico, laughing: ''To be honest I feel quite medals. speak excellent English, are also building up a at home everywhere I go. But it’s a very nice Nico, Austria­born son of a German father and Russian mother, opted to play for Germany friendly rivalry which can only help their atmosphere there. They support us a lot when we travel on social media, and it’s a good moti­ when they offered to help with his massive trav­ progress.

Molleker is currently ranked No.1 in Europe vation. They are doing a very good job; Juan elling and equipment expenses. With cash­ strapped Spain unable to offer any financial sup­ and Kuhn No.5 but they have only played each Carlos Ferrero is on court with us most of the port, the decision was a no­brainer for Nico and other once competitively. Says Kuhn: ''It was days, and that’s very helpful. Everybody there quite a tough match, and he won in the third set. supports everybody else.'' his parents Alfred and Rita.

The biggest remaining challenge for Nico this An impressive start to the year saw Kuhn win But we’re going to play many, many times in the future, so it won’t be the last one!'' year is to qualify for the Tennis Europe Junior the opening junior event in Bolton, then follow in Some two and a half years ago, Nico joined Masters. But before that comes the Under 14 the footsteps of Rafa Nadal by reaching the final the Equilite academy run by former world No.1 event at the ATP Valencia Open. of the prestigious Les Petits As in France.

“Then afterwards we have to prepare well for But it has been as a key member of the Juan Carlos Ferrero, where he now lives and trains when he is not travelling between tourna­ the next year, because we will think about Under German Under­14 team that he has made the 16s and starting to play ITF (International Tennis biggest impact. In sweeping the opposition ments.

What’s it like to live away from home at 14?

Federation) events too.'' away, he and Molleker have set the standard for

If you feed animals, you must stop them multiplying THE report on Page 28 of Issue 175 was titled "Spain´s Animal Shame".

I think it should also have mentioned how many for­ eigners, mostly from the UK, decide to go back to their homeland and then abandon their cats and dogs after being told by overcrowded shelters that they can’t accept them.

The Affinity Foundation Monitor who did the study did not have these facts.

It is very important and urgent to tell all who take in or feed a dog or cat, to make it a must to have them sterilised/castrated to prevent further expan­ sion of the huge number of abandoned animals.

With both Spanish and UK nationals, the econom­ ic crisis is cited as a major excuse to get rid of their animals.

As far as abandoning pets is concerned, how, in the 21st century, can we still be so heartless? It seems like we are getting meaner and meaner.

SHELL NORFLEET, Feral Friends of Gran Alacant & nearby areas

You oughta drink water, dear lady!

SO Donna Gee thinks drinking plenty of tea cures dehydration (last week’s Letters Page).

No, no, no! Water, dear lady ­ about 1.5 litres a day.

One glass every hour.

On Page 20 in last week’s Courier, you will find Dr.Machi Mannu’s clin­ ic on water very interest­ ing.

I drink two cups of tea, one cup of coffee a day.

Also four cups of green tea (an acquired taste!).

TED GILLELAND, Quesada

PLEASE PROVIDE AN ADDRESS AND CONTACT NUMBER (NOT FOR PUBLICATION) WITH YOUR CONTRIBUTIONS TO THE LETTERS PAGE

Thursday, August 14, 2014

MY Spanish teacher Jose insists that the British are the most polite nation in the world.

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TO THE MANNERS Brit courtesy culture is a rude BORN awakening for the Spanish

He’s convinced that if he flattened an Englishman and then stamped on his head, the victim would just smile up at him through blood­spattered lips and say 'Thank you'.

Unlike our Iberian cousins, most Brits were brought up to be polite at all times – which is why, for instance, pedestrians acknowledge motorists who stop at a pedestrian crossing.

Not so the Spanish.

“You have the right of way, so why thank someone for doing what he has to do any­ way?'' Jose says.

Which explains why the Spanish 'gracias' seems to equate not so much to 'please' as 'please yourself'.

We are told that Manners Maketh Man...but Manolo seems to have missed the message.

He also missed out on other qualities which help to keep British life steady. Like not wearing every last emo­ tion on one's sleeve.

While Brits are generally discreet in public (providing hey are sober), the Spanish you like your peaceful night tend not to talk to each other. out accompanied by a back­ They shout. They also drop of foreigners yelling at laugh in decibels and smoke each other in what sounds as if it is a matter of life and like an interminable argu­ death. Which of course it is. ment.

The atmosphere is not Dining out in a Spanish restaurant can be a daunting helped by the raucous tones experience for those of a of female voices oiled by a nervous disposition. You'll chain of cigarettes, the enjoy the occasion more if fumes from which will

‘If I floored an Englishman and stamped on his head , I’m sure he’d say thank you’ inevitably choke t you and your al fresco evening.

Unlike British smokers, who have picked up on the sensitivity of others, the Spanish appear oblivious to the discomfort their habit causes to those nearby – even their own children.

But when they are dining out with their families or friends, the odds are they’ll be too busy blaring niceties at each other to notice that the tablecloth is ablaze.

I'm joking, of course – but if you don't understand Spanish, a chat among locals about the weather sounds like a warning of an imminent 10.5 earthquake and tsunami within 100 metres of the restaurant.

Seven years of living in Spain have been as much an education for me as our quaint British customs are to the average Spaniard.

The Spanish seem to

come in two types. They are either lovely, warm and charming ­ or rude and unfriendly beyond belief. And none more so than the face­ less shop girls whose loyalty is to the telephone rather than the customer.

I’ve lost count of the shops I’ve walked out of without the goods I wanted to buy. The reason is always the same ­ the birdbrain taking the money is chatting endlessly on the phone.

I’m not saying the rude brigade’s most icy recep­ tion is reserved especially for Brits because these people are probably born with two cold shoulders.

Both with a plateful of chips on them.

The majority of Spaniards find it as much of an embar­ rassment as we do when the cashier’s phone rings as you are paying for goods. The resultant chat is likely to put

you back anything up to 15 started taking an order from minutes as the caller takes a newly­arrived couple on my precedence and you cease right. to exist.

I got the message.

Set the same scenario in Deliberate snub or not, that the UK and it’s hard to imag­ waiter’s ignorance offended ine the yapping cashier me to the point that I will keeping his or her job. never go back to that bar.

There’s a similar scenario The venue happens to be in busy Spanish bars where right next to smaller, less locals receive priority treat­ popular ice­cream parlour ment and your frantic waves which will get my custom in for service are repeatedly future. ignored by the waiters.

Another bar I won’t be I sat for more than 10 min­ using back to is the utes in a half full ice­cream Torrevieja eatery where the parlour in Guardamar on German­speaking propri­ Saturday evening, in no etors made me and two fam­ hurry to be served but clearly ily members so unwelcome not there just to sit down. that we felt we’d been trans­ Three different waiters ported back to World War 2. came, took orders from Our crime was that we had adjoining tables and returned arrived precisely one minute with trays of drinks and good­ before closing time. And ies. Fed up of being ignored, although they served us ­ I signalled I needed service albeit with a series of scowls to the waiter attending the ­ they clearly haf vays of table on my left. He promptly making sure we won’t be walked straight past me and back. At any time.

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Thursday, August 14, 2014

ON BEING A COUCH POTATO MRS S expressed surprise when I squeezed a sachet of HP sauce over my egg and chips in the supermar­ ket cafe. 'I've never known you use brown condiment,' she said. 'You usually opt for ketchup.'

I smiled indulgently. 'The secret of every perfect rela­ tionship is to keep the mys­ tery alive. At the same time I'm only sorry that I didn't have enough cash on me to buy you your own sachet of sauce. But you can dip one of your fries into my relish if you want.'

'Thanks, chuck. You are so generous,' Mrs S said. She reached across the table to grab my hand in gratitude but missed it by a centimetre because I was reaching out to grab my cutlery.

'Hold it right there!' demanded the psychiatrist just as I was taking a deep breath in order to continue my story about how I acci­ dentally stabbed Mrs S in the back of the hand with my fork. 'I suspect, Mr Silver, that what you are telling me is

blatant baloney and barefaced bunk.'

'Good alliteration there, doc,' I said. 'But I can assure you that everything I'm divulging to you is accurate, as sure as I am lying on your couch.'

The psychiatrist muttered: 'Lying through your teeth, more like. At least you have the decency to blush.'

I shook my head. 'I'm red­ faced from holding my breath when you told me to stop talking. But in any case why would I lie to you?'

The doctor crossed his legs and put down his note­ book and pen ­­ a sure sign that he was about to impart something serious. 'Mr Silver, you paint a pic­ ture of a suc­ cessful mar­ riage to a devoted wife.

However, I am pick­ ing up a different vibe.

Indeed, I am of the impres­ sion that your partner is unhappy because she fears that you are going slowly but

surely doolally.'

'Point of order, doc!' I said, jumping up from the couch.

'You shouldn't use a word like doolally to describe some­ body who is going nuts.

It is most insensitive and unprofessional of you.'

It was the psychiatrist's turn to turn

red­faced. 'Forgive me, Mr Silver. It's just that doolally was the very word your wife used to describe your mental con­ dition when

she a n d my wife met up for a cappucci­ no in the supermarket cafe.'

'What!' I cried, diving back onto the couch. 'Your wife and my wife are coffee mates?

Whatever happened to patient confidentiality?'

Literally sidestepping my question because I had dived too far and finished up on the floor under his feet, the psy­ chiatrist helped me up and

placed me on a chair. 'Mr Silver, might I suggest that it was not necessary to spend money on sauce for your wife when you dined together.

Surely, the sachets in the supermarket cafe come free with your meals.'

'A­ha!' I yelled triumphant­ ly. 'You do get one free sachet per meal but Mrs S never had a meal. I merely gave her a few of my fries.'

'So why couldn't you stretch to a meal for Mrs S?' asked the psychiatrist. I shook my head in frustration.

'I've already told you. If I did­ n't have enough money to buy my wife even a sachet of sauce, how on earth could I have purchased her a full meal? You might be a good doctor, doc, but you're lousy at economics.'

In the ensuing silence as the psychiatrist thought about how to continue, I picked up his notebook and pen and proceeded to draw his curtains. 'Hey, doc,' I said eventually. 'These one­to­ one sessions are not achiev­ ing much. Don't you think I

would do better in group ther­ apy.'

The psychiatrist sighed for the umpteenth time. 'But you WERE in group therapy, Mr Silver, until the other mem­ bers made a unanimous request to have you chucked out.'

'There you go again, doc!' I whinged. 'As a trained thera­ pist, you should have said that I was invited to leave, not slung out like a sack of unwanted spuds. That is most discourteous of you.

'I am considering reporting you to both your governing body and to the Potato Marketing Board. I am not a grubby, old King Edward, doc. I happen to be a grubby, old human being. Now, if you would kindly help me find my socks and shoes which I took off as I came in because I got you confused with my chi­ ropodist appointment . . .'

'Very well, Mr Silver,' said the psychiatrist. 'But before you approach the potato authorities, might I suggest you remove that chip from your shoulder.'

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NEW OWNERS START HERE Dogs are of course wonderful compan­ ions as you will well know by reading this column, and if you’ve never had one in your life, here are some important rules and pieces of information if you are going to have one for the first time in Spain.

Don’t forget that a rescue centre is a great starting point to pick up a new com­ panion that will be very spe­ cial.

All dogs in Spain must be identified by microchip and vaccination against rabies is compulsory, along with the annual rabies booster injections. Other vaccina­ tions are not obligatory, but are strongly recommended.

They are the standard vac­ cinations (and annual booster injection) against Distemper, Hepatitis, Parvovirus, Parainfluenza and Leptospirosis. Some kennels request that a dog be vaccinated for kennel

cough (Bordetella Bronchiseptica).

These are the standard vaccinations prepared and given by a vet, and the vet records the dose in the dog’s health record, which is in the form of a Pet Passport(essential if you take your friend to the UK or any other EU country) .Most Spanish vets have a very

high reputation for their work, and like with most things, speak to a pet­own­ ing friend to find out who they recommend.

There are a number of dangers to pet dogs in Spain.

These include Leishmaniasis, which is a disease that mainly affects domestic dogs. It's carried by small, yellow sand flies

that bite the exposed skin of the nose and ears. The disease can incubate in a dog for many months before symptoms of weight loss, anaemia and hair loss show. It can be treated, but an untreated dog may die after several months.

Preventative injections and medecines are available and do a really good job.

Another com­ monly found threat is the procession­ ary caterpillar or Procesionarias del pino. These cater­ pillars are three to four centimetres long, brown and hairy. At the start of spring they come out of round nests built in pine trees, travel down the tree and across the ground in single file, sometimes stopping in writhing circles. They are extremely danger­ ous as they "burn" the flesh of any ani­ mal (or person) that touches them. A small ani­ mal can die from the burn on contact ­ if your dog comes in to contact with these caterpillars it is advis­ able to seek immediate help from a vet.

Ticks and fleas are sea­ sonal and vary depending on the area. Spot­off treat­ ments can be carried out

monthly and these are available at vets.

Dogs should be kept on a lead in public places, and by law, dogs travelling in a car must be kept away from the driver and restrained. I know of a number of people who have been stopped and fined a couple of hun­ dred of euros for not having their furry friend in a har­ ness or in a carrying cage. www.thedogyouneed.co m is a registered charity, where we rehabilitate the most severely abused ani­ mals. Our charity registra­ tion number is 1157175. If you would be kind enough to donate anything to this special cause you can do

by Paypal, where the account details are peter@thedogyouneed.co m or to our Nat West charity account, where the sort code is 60­16­03 and the account number is 73754900. Even one Euro will help, so please, please, try and support us. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

PETS’ CORNER: CAN YOU TAKE IN A HOMELESS DOG OR CAT? KATIE was found by rubbish bins savaging for food, with a wound to her face and covered in animal excre­ ment. After a bath we could see what a pretty girl she is.

She is a small /medium 4 month old crossbreed, fully vaccinated (passport) and micro chipped; a very play­ ful, affectionate little girl who loves lots of attention and cuddles. If you think you could give Katie the home she deserves then please contact the kennels directly on 966710047 or email info@satanimalrescue.com

new homes, there are 3 girls and 3 boys. Call: 645 469 253. www.petsinspain.com Blackie 2­3yrs is one of those loving and loyal dogs that will do anything to plea­ se you. He is not very old and has had such a bad life he truly deserves a kind loving owner that will appre­ ciate how special he really is. He is great of course with other dogs and I am sure he will be fine with cats too he such a lovely disposition.

For more information about Blackie please telephone the PEPA helpline on 650 304 746 or email p.e.p.a.animalcharity@gmai l.com

sinspain.com

Alf is a terrier cross He is about 2 years old. Very pla­ cid and about the size of a spaniel so is a medium to small young man. Alf really is lovely and would make someone a very loyal com­ panion. Please contact K9 or PHONE 600 84 54 20 for more info www.k9club.es

Alf

This beautiful Belgium Shepherd cross pup is 1 of 6 that were dumped when they were just 4 weeks old beside the road. They are now around 7 weeks old, all identical and desperate for

Jake is a 4 year old GSD that was left to die chained up, he was almost starved to death when he was found. If this was not bad enough he was given to the Perrera where he was going to be put to sleep. PEPA rescued him and he is now doing really well he is a beautiful dog great with other dogs and ready to go to a new home. For more information please telephone the PEPA helpline on 650 304 746 or

Amber is around 2 years old and was brought to us after she jumped into a ladies car in Quesada. Amber is extre­ mely friendly and will give kisses to everyone she meets. She weighs just 5 kilos and will make someo­ ne a wonderful companion.

Call: 645 469 253. www.pet­

good health and recovering from her ordeal in a foster home. Call: 645 469 253. www.petsinspain.com

Amber

Katie

Blackie

email p.e.p.a.animal­ chaity@gmail.com

something once and then he knows the routine. He is ready to go to a home of his own. For more information about Binky please ring the PEPA helpline on 650 304 746 or Email: p.e.p.a.ani­ malcharity@gmail.com

Jake CHICK is the last of eight puppies, born at the ken­ nels, who is looking to find her forever home. The mother had been brought into us heavily pregnant and 4 days later gave birth to her babies. Chick is now 5 months old and a gorgeous, healthy and playful youngs­ ter; she is fully vaccinated and micro chipped and the­ refore ready for a new family. SAT KENNELS

Chick Angelina is 3 months old was found last week on a motorway, it’s possible she had been thrown from a car and was very frightened.

She has seen a vet and is in

Angelina Binky is a small mixed breed puppy he is a lovely bright very happy, loving little boy.

You only have to show him

Binky

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Thursday, August 14, 2014

MY SPECIAL SUMMER Once again I find myself on a plane flying high over the skies of Spain heading north to collect some very special house guests. Regular read­ ers may remember that I have two daughters who live in the UK and who come for a visit in summer to pass lazy days by the pool and have fun days out.

We have our itinerary almost complet­ ed even though they aren't even in Spain yet! However this year is a bit different as we have another visitor coming with them, my eldest daughter is nearly 16 and has invited a friend to join us. I remember those years well, as when I was younger we used to go to Butlins in Minehead every year and for the last few years, as I got older a school friend used to come with me. One year my best friend and I fell out, and that turned out to be the end of our friendship, which had lasted many years but obviously had reached the end of its life. The reason for the falling out I'm still not sure about. I just got a letter from her one day saying that she no longer wanted to be friends with me which I soon got over, but that left me with a problem:­ Who could go on holiday with me that year? I asked one of my other friends who was only too pleased to come and so all was well and we had fun in a bit of sun. So this year my 16 year old daugh­ ter is coming with a friend. I know at the age she is, she will have more fun with a mate and my youngest will have to make do with playing with her little brother for now!

This is why I find myself flying over the north of Spain, with the sun shining through the small window and the clouds passing slowly below. Flying has never worried me. The biggest problem I find is boredom, which is why I'm stocked up on snacks and have my tablet here to pass the time writ­ ing, something I'll not have much time for in the next two weeks I'm sure. In a few hours, I'll be back on another plane heading home and I can't wait. I am not a fan of the UK, being enclosed with loads of Brits on an aircraft is enough for me! If I had the choice, I would be quite happy to never visit the UK again except maybe to return to London to see if any­

thing has changed, but for now I will enjoy this visit as it´s for a special rea­ son. With the green fields of France below me, I think I'll take a rest and maybe update this on the way back or later if I can't sleep, although last night was spent more awake than asleep so I don't think I'll have too much of a problem resting.

Fast forward to five hours later and once again I'm on a plane, this time heading home with three very special girls sat in the row next to me. They are filled with nerves for the flight and excite­ ment about the fortnight ahead, pretty much as I am. I'm not sure about two flights in a day, and it was all very rushed earlier as my UK flight was late arriving so my visit into Manchester was more like a sprint round a few shops. I man­ aged to get a few bits and pieces but I was uncomfortable and I would have liked more time. I think next year I may go very early in the morning or even the night before, then I'll be able to enjoy the shops rather than just cope with them.

So we are arriving in Alicante full of hope and happiness and not allowing thoughts of going back to enter our minds, at least I'm not. I'm determined to enjoy this break, not only because it's my holiday too but also because it's such a short time to have my girls with me, and nothing is going to spoil our time together. It'll be time to go back to reality soon enough, so I'm going to enjoy the summer as ever and make sure we have a fun filled fortnight in the sun, my home.

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Thursday, August 14, 2014

SAYEEDA GETS MEAN

There’s nothing like an ex­ Cabinet minister letting off steam against her own party to provide a bit of summer entertainment, whilst the politicians are on their holidays.

Baroness Sayeeda Warsi became the first female Muslim cabinet minister back in 2010 when David Cameron became Prime Minister, by virtue of her

being the chairman of the Conservative Party. To be honest, she wasn’t the most spectacular performer in that role, and was dumped and given a relatively minor role as a Foreign Office min­ ister. She quit that job last week heavily criticising the Government for not doing enough to chide Israel over their behaviour in Gaza, and last weekend she laid into

the Tories for not appealing enough to ethnic minorities.

For once, there doesn’t seem to be a personal agen­ da here unless she is still bitter about being removed from the Tory chairmanship.

That‘s because she doesn’t have to face an election next year, as she is a member of the House of Lords, and so doesn‘t have to play to a constituency to buy votes.

Warsi says nothing has been done about broaden­ ing the Conservative base to try to win the big vote in 2015 and she’s essentially said that there’s been a lurch to the right. But then she hasn’t really said what should been done about it, and didn’t she have her chance when she had Cameron’s ear directly in Downing Street? But her comments do expose Cameron’s dilemma. He is essentially a moderate Tory (who introduced gay mar­ riage) who is having sleep­ less nights over UKIP taking away vital votes next year, and so he’s having to take the party to right­wing posi­ tions that he doesn’t neces­ sarily buy into. Ironically, Warsi’s comments and res­ ignation may shore up potential UKIP voters to return to the Tory fold, who would be pleased that the party is refusing to pander to any ethnic minorities. That’s politics and it can often be a dirty unprincipled business

where getting votes is often more important than taking a principled stance or doing the right thing.

If Cameron does lose next year, it’s a certainty that he’ll stand down as leader, and it’s a racing certainty that Boris Johnson would want to put his hat in the ring.

Nobody was shocked by the news that the London mayor is to stand for the Commons next year, and all the talk is about what might happen in the aftermath of a Tory defeat. I have a couple of die­hard Labour friends in London who happily admit­

ted to me that they voted for Boris in the last mayoral election, and his style may well broaden the party appeal that Lady Warsi is after. But standing from the sidelines is a very different business from becoming the man in charge, and an inter­ esting opinion poll on a hypothetical position of Boris being in charge pro­ duced an interesting result.

If he were Tory leader, the current poll ratings would barely change. Be careful of what you wish for as the quick political fix rarely works!

REGISTERING YOUR VEHICLE IN SPAIN. SPANISH LICENSE PLATES AND REGISTRATION DOCUMENT. Registering a non­Spanish vehicle in Spain is a complex and potentially costly procedure.

However, you may be exempt from Spanish registration tax by getting Spanish number plates within one month of entering the country. But to do this, you need to become a res­ ident. Linea Directa has been insuring expat drivers in Spain for over a decade and under­ stands all the steps involved. Below we outline this process.

STEP 1: OBTAINING A CERTIFICATE OF CONFORMITY This is a statement by the car’s manufacturer that it conforms to EU regulations. You will need the car’s chassis number to complete this straightforward process online at www.eurococ.eu/en/certificate_of_conformity. The charges for this service will vary according to type of vehicle, make and country of 1st registration.

STEP 2: CURRENT LOG BOOK The vehicle’s original log book showing your name as the owner, the vehicles age and a valid UK address. You will also need the bill of sale for the car.

STEP 3: RESIDENCY IN SPAIN The Spanish residency certificate (Certificado de Empadronamiento) is your official proof of residency in Spain. Your local town hall can provide you with this document. You will need to take your passport and proof of Spanish address (rental contract, contract to pur­ chase or property deeds).

STEP 4: OBTAINING A SPANISH MOT CERTIFICATE All vehicles over 4 years old must be roadworthy and clearly display a valid ITV sticker.

The ITV (Vehicle Technical Inspection) must be tested at an authorised centre, just as for an MOT test. You can find out the location of your nearest ITV centre on DGT website (equivalent to the DVLA). You can also call your local centre to make a booking. If the cen­ tre is busy, especially pre­summer, this can save a lot of time. The cost can vary but gen­ erally is around 40€ for petrol­engine cars and 56€ for diesel­engine cars.

Step 5: OBTAINING A SPANISH EQUIVALENT OF A TAX DISC The Spanish Tax Agency can provide your vehicle with a valid “tax disc” for Spain, which must be carried in the car when in use. You will need to complete the relevant form online and pay the amount according to your car’s tax band.

You can carry out all these procedures yourself or you can seek the assistance of an accountant to do this for you.

We hope the information provided in this article is of interest.

If you would like to contact Linea Directa please call 902­123­161 More information on Linea Directa online at www.lineadirecta.com

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Thursday, August 14, 2014

SELFISH MUMS NEED SORTING JUST imagine. You´re sit­ ting in a packed railway car­ riage and suddenly you´re hit by an appalling smell.

You look and see its coming from a woman opposite who is busy changing her baby´s nappy on her lap. Now imag­ ine you´re enjoying a meal in a restaurant, and the same horrible smell wafts over you. You see it´s coming from the table opposite, where a young mum has her baby on the table and is changing its soiled nappy.

Then imagine you´re walk­ ing around a shop and come across a woman who has produced a potty and is with her young child doing its business. Think I am joking?

Well, I´m not ­ this is what´s sparking furious debate in the UK, caused by these dreadful mothers of today who think that anything goes. It started when they found they could whip out a boob and breast­feed their baby in public. And, as the saying goes, give a person an inch and... That´s why these "liberated" mothers are pushing the boundaries more and more and making all around them suffer in the process. In the past, society had moral boundaries and people instinctively knew what was acceptable con­ duct in public and what was not. Sadly these couldn´t care less about anyone 20 and 30­somethings just don´t know where to stop in offending people, and sadly it seems the government will have to legislate. And, I am sure, there will be those who will cry blue murder about Britain being a nanny state.

Well, if that´s what it takes to force young mums into toi­

lets in trains and in restau­ rants with their offspring to change nappies, then so be it.

THERE have been some interesting pro­ grammes on TV recently, highlighting justice in America, and, in particular, the length of prison sen­ tences there.

Murder attracts up to 55 years if not the death penalty, and armed robbery can result in 25 years plus. Compare that with some similar sentences in the UK, where punish­ ments for similar offences could easily be half of that of America; conditions in UK prisons are far less harsh than in the US, and part of the British sentences could be spent in open prisons.

What I would like to see examined is whether America’s much harsher regime reduces the crime rate by being a greater deterrent, and whether it brings down re­offending, on the basis that no­one in their right mind would want to endure another long stretch in a US prison? How does all that square up to a UK judge last week jailing a beggar for just two years for blinding a Good Samaritan in the eye?

The Samaritan offered to buy the beggar food, but the thug, aged 29, continually demanded cash from the 25­ year­old and rebuffed offers for food. Finally the beggar stabbed the other man in the eye, blinding him in it. Giving an interview afterwards, a police spokesman dis­ missed the attack as the vic­ tim being in the wrong place at the wrong time. But the local MP is so incensed by the lenient sentence, he is

q

last few days. One was that people with advanced cancer were being deprived of revo­ lutionary drugs could challenging the pathetic which judge to go with him to the lengthen the peri­ neighbourhood where the od of time they shopkeepers are not only could live with a furious, but they are worried reasonable quality about the growing menace of life ­ because of of threatening and belliger­ the high cost ent beggars. The MP wants involved. The sec­ the judge to publicly justify ond was a huge the lenient sentence. Now increase in the wouldn´t that be a first for cost of specialist equipment, like British justice? beds, lifting gear and chairs, A TOTAL of 64,000 to deal with a fast­rising fines have been dished number of morbidly obese out to parents in the UK dur­ patients. If there is a short­ ing the past year for failing to age of NHS money, who is send their children to school most deserving? A cancer ­ mostly taking kids on holi­ patient who has become ter­ days during school term minally ill through no fault of time. Fair enough, on the their own or people who face of it ­ children should be become overweight, then given every chance to get obese and then morbidly the maximum out of their obese through their own time at school, to equip them over­eating? Another story is for adult life, and taking time by far the most serious and out doesn´t help. Two obser­ makes me want to rename vations ­ it could be argued the NHS the National Health that a holiday, particularly Screw­up! I refer to the news one abroad, could broaden that 300,000 ambulances a child´s education, particu­ were left queueing outside larly if it included places of hospitals last year with educational interest. patients on board, waiting to Secondly, it appals me to be seen at A&E, because of hear teachers defend the overstretched hospital fines imposed on parents, departments. This is not claiming they are damaging good enough ­ it´s an NHS pupils ‘education. Oh yes, not fit for purpose, especially how do they square that with when it’s revealed the their frequent strikes, depriv­ longest wait was more than ing children of the education eight hours. Can you imag­ they supposedly shouldn´t ine the distress for a patient do without? How hypocritical stuck for hours on end in an are these teachers, and ambulance. OK, the proba­ what appalling examples are bility is that nurses and doc­ they setting? If fines are tors will have (hopefully) good for parents, they are been looking after the equally justified on striking patients, ensuring they teachers, because they are come to no harm during their all absenting themselves long wait. But the lack of from school. hospital resources has A NUMBER of UK another just as important health stories have knock­on effect, because made the headlines in the the queueing ambulance is

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effectively taken out of serv­ ice, meaning that if there was another emergency, that ambulance could not respond. And we know, ambulances and their crews don´t grow on trees. If the government is so cash strapped (and it is, because even now the national debt is rising by 4000 pounds a second) then there has to be a set of priorities. And the sick needing urgent hospital treatment comes way, way above providing money for endless benefits, especially for immigrant families.

ARGUABLY, what has been going on in the Middle East and North Africa is the biggest threat to world peace for decades. I´m not referring to the appalling conflict between Israel and Gaza, which, obviously, is bad enough, but what has been happening right across the Muslim world, making the Gaza conflict minor in comparison, when taking into account the loss of life which is resulting. From Libya to Syria, Iraq to Jordan, conflict and unrest spreads, fuelled by big play­ ers in Middle East politics, like the Saudi Arabians who are helping Sunnis with oil money, and Iran, which is Shia, and supporting their own, and which also has vast oil reserves. The extremists of ISIS have taken control across vast parts of Syria and Iraq, with massive financial and mili­ tary resources, pushing their influence ever further, dis­ placing and killing all oppo­ nents, whether they be Shia, or other religions, including Christian sects, forcing thou­ sands to flee for their lives.

It´s this latest atrocity by reli­ gious Islamist nutcases which has prompted America to bomb their posi­ tions. But that intervention cannot really change any­ thing on the ground. What would, is the imposition of Draconian sanctions against Saudi Arabia and countries financing the Sunni extrem­

q

ists. But it´s not going to happen when half of London, other western cities, many international businesses and interests are owned by members of the Saudi royal family, or their cronies, and other mega­rich Arabs, all financed by oil money. Obviously sanctions against them will plunge the world into another recession if not depression, because they could and, no doubt, would retaliate and starve the West of oil. Now imagine what would happen if ISIS extremists push ever onwards, taking over coun­ tries closer and closer to Israel. The result would end in a war which makes the Gaza conflict a mere skir­ mish. Israel has been round­ ly condemned over its bombing of Gaza, but if the UK was being bombarded by a close neighbour would it sit back and do nothing?

Of course not, it would go in hard, with one aim, to eradi­ cate the threat.

The Palestinians have made no secret of the fact they want to push all Jews into the Mediterranean and to destroy the Jewish state. I don´t agree with a country being founded on a religion, as it´s a recipe for disaster, but I have sympathy with Israel, and here´s why. How can Israel agree to Gaza´s demand to end the blockade on the Palestinian enclave?

More arms would flood in from ISIS­controlled areas and Israel would face an even bigger threat than it does now. It doesn´t surprise me that there are anti­ Jewish protests around the world, and I have no doubt they are being orchestrated

by Muslims or Muslim sup­ porters. It´s a dangerous, sickening world in which we are living ­ and it doesn´t help when you have Russia playing silly buggers in Ukraine and doing all it can to destabilise the Middle East even more, so that it can preserve its interests there, including naval and military bases.

Thursday, August 14, 2014

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Thursday, August 14, 2014

SAY IT IN SPANISH Learn the lingo - with a little help from JEANETTE ERATH Spanish 135 I hope you´re having a great summer. I´ve finally got some time off as I´ve decided to have a month off from teaching and so am going to relax and enjoy myself before the work kicks in again, although of course there are always articles to write and planning to do, however there will be a few lie ins.

This time of year, when we´re off to the beach or relaxing by the pool is perfect for revising or studying our Spanish, don´t lose it after all that work you´ve done to get this far, let´s get on and keep learning.

We are still on the subjunctive but we´re reaching the finishing line so stick with me and let´s make this as painless as possible.

We have been learning various phrases that indicate the subjunctive, here are the last few: We use it for actions that are not yet completed.These expressions will always invoke the subjunctive: a menos que ­ unless, antes (de) que ­ before, con tal (de) que ­ provided that, en caso de que ­ in case, para que ­ so that, sin que ­ without The following expressions only invoke the subjunc­ tive when they indicate that the action that follows has not yet been completed: después de que ­ after, en cuanto ­ as soon as, hasta que ­ until, mientras que ­ while, tan pronto como ­ as soon as.

So, this is the lesson on the subjunctive finished with but we need lots of practise to make sure that we have this tense perfected, so here is some homework to check your knowledge: First state whether the following are in the subjunctive S or indicative I: 1. Creo que ellos están en la casa.

2. Quiero que el chico coma más 3. Es importante que los alumnos estudien cada día.

4. Es necesario que tú lo comprendas.

5. Es cierto que ella viene.

6. Es dudoso que tú tengas gripe.

7. Es probable que ellos vuelvan pronto.

8. Es necesario que tu esposo lo escriba.

9. Ella teme que los alumnos no estudien.

10. Ella prefiere que nosotros salgamos.

Part Two: Choose the correct answer for each translation: 1. I want you to eat with me: Quiero que comes conmigo.

Quiero que comas conmigo Quiero que comieras conmi­ go. Quiero que comís conmigo.

2. Perhaps I will go home: Quizás voy a casa; Quizás ires a casa; Quizás vaya a casa; Quizás iba a casa.

Es importante que los alumnos estudien cada día.

amaría.

7. It's not obvious he loves her: No es obvio que la ama, No es obvio que la ame, No es obvio amarla, No es obvio que la amaría.

8. I want to drink: Quiero que bebe, Quiero beba, Quiero que beba, Quiero que beberí, Quiero beber.

9. I'm looking for the student who speaks Spanish. I saw him yesterday: Busco al estudiante que habla español. Lo vi ayer, Busque al estudiante que habla español. Lo vi ayer, Busco al estudiante que hable español. Lo vi ayer, Busque al estudiante que hable español. Lo vi ayer.

10. I'm looking for a student who speaks Spanish: Busco un estudiante que habla español, Busque un estudiante que habla español, Busco un estudiante que hable español, Busque un estudiante que hable español.

11. I expected her to come: Esperé viniera, Esperé la venir, Esperé que venir, Esperé que viniera, Esperé que vino, Esperé vino, Esperé que venga.

12. She talks as if she were intelligent: Hable como si fuera inteligente, Hable como si fue inteligente, Habla como si fuera inteligente, Habla como si fue inteligente.

13. I called when you were at home ­ Llamé cuando estabas en casa, Llamé cuando estuvieras en casa, Llamara cuado estabas en casa, Llamara cuando estuvieras en casa.

14. I will call in case you are at home – Llamaré en caso de que estás en casa, Llamaré en caso de que estés en casa, Llamaré en caso de que estuvieras en casa, Llamaré en caso de que estará en casa.

15. He worked even though he was tired ­ Trabajaba aunque estaba cansado, Trabajaba aunque estuvo cansado, Trabajaba aunque estuviera cansado, Trabajaba aunque esté cansado.

3. What's that? I don't know. ­ ¿Qué es eso? No saba; ¿Qué es eso? No sé, ¿Qué es eso? No sepa, ¿Qué es eso? No supiera.

4. I certainly believe he is happy: Creo que está feliz, Creo que estuvo feliz, Creo que esté feliz, Creo que estu­ viera feliz.

5. I doubt he is happy: Dudo que está feliz. Dudo que estuvo feliz. Dudo que esté feliz. Dudo que estuviera feliz.

Good luck with the above, take your time and I´ll have the 6. It is obvious he loves her: Es obvio que la ama, Es obvio que la ame, Es obvio amarla, Es obvio que la answers next week.

Thursday, August 14, 2014

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Thursday, August 14, 2014

HOW TO TREAT AND PREVENT SUNBURN

The sun warms you, relax­ es you, and brightens your mood. But get too much, and you could end up with an agonizing burn. You can blame a too­tanned hide on Old Sol's ultraviolet (UV) rays. They destroy cells in the outer layer of your skin and damage tiny blood ves­ sels just below the surface.

This produces the redness, swelling, and pain that you normally think of when you

hear the word sunburn.

While the inflammation sub­ sides with time, a sunburn does have long­term effects.

A burn is an injury to your skin, and the damage from it is cumulative. Repeated overexposure to the sun erodes elastic fibres in your skin, causing wrinkles. Even more serious, it could set the stage for skin cancer. Here are some tips that you can consider to adopt to ease

your pain.

1. Safeguard Your Skin

To prevent another burn, always wear sunscreen when you head outdoors. It is recommended to have a product with a sun protection factor (SPF) of at least 15.

Apply it ½ hour to 1 hour before you go out so it can soak in, and take it with you so you can reapply it. This goes for waterproof sun­ screen too. If you perspire or go in for a swim, some of the sunscreen's effective­ ness will be lost. No product is absolutely waterproof.

2. Read The Label

Some ointments intended for sunburn relief contain allergy­causing ingredients.

Skin that is inflamed is more susceptible to an allergic reaction. It affects only a small number of people, but when you have sunburn, you don't want to experi­ ence an allergic reaction besides. If you are allergic­ prone, you may want to ask your doctor or pharmacist to recommend a product.

HOW MAGNESIUM REDUCES HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE DR MACHI MANNU’S ADVICE CLINIC Email your questions and comments to contact@medb.es

Magnesium is the second most abundant mineral in the body, and most likely the most underrated miner­ al in human nutrition. After oxygen, water and basic food, magnesium may be the most important element needed by the body. It plays a role in over 300 different biochemical reactions needed for the body to func­ tion properly. In fact without the muscle relaxing effects of magnesium, the human body will be in a permanent state of contraction.

Magnesium not only pro­ tects against high blood pressure, but also against heart attack and stroke, dia­ betes, migraines and many more. Nearly all the magne­ sium in the body (99%) is found in the tissues, and just 1% is found in the blood, making the blood test for magnesium extremely

inaccurate. Magnesium is routinely used to treat hypertension and preeclampsia in pregnant women because it is natural and has no side­effects.

Magnesium reduces blood pressure by relaxing the muscles in the blood ves­ sels, making them larger, thereby reducing blood pressure. Magnesium also plays a key role in maintain­ ing cholesterol levels and limiting the formation of plaques which clog arteries.

When inflammation dam­ ages the arteries, white blood cells and cholesterol move in to repair the dam­ age. However if there is too much calcium present in the body, the repair job hardens and becomes easily break­ able, causing life threaten­ ing plaques. Magnesium controls the amount of calci­ um present in the body, and

consequently prevents excessive hardening of the plaques from occurring.

Many factors contribute to the high incidence of hyper­ tension seen in society today, however several clin­ ical studies clearly show that most people with high blood pressure are deficient in magnesium. What we know is that magnesium levels in foods have fallen 50% since it was first meas­ ured nearly 100 years ago.

The best way to be sure you are getting enough magne­ sium is to take magnesium supplements. The body takes about 6 weeks to top­ up its magnesium levels and the best absorbed form of magnesium is Magnesium Malate.

FOR A FULL BODY DIAGNOSTIC SCAN CALL DR MACHI MANNU: 965071745

3. Put It In Neutral A cold compress helps neutralize sunburn. To make the compress, dip a wash­ cloth or towel in cool tap water, wring it out, and lay it on your skin. As the water evaporates, it has a cooling effect, which helps control the burning and pain. It is recommended a ½ hour application two or three times a day.

4. Wear Added Protection

The proper attire can pro­ tect your skin from the sun's UV rays. Tight­knit fabrics work especially well. But be sure to keep your clothing dry. If it is wet, about 50 per­ cent of the UV rays will filter through.

5. Coat It With Cream

One percent hydrocorti­

sone cream, available over the counter, helps to relieve sunburn pain. Use it directly on the affected area three or four times a day. And don't wash it off; just leave it on and keep reapplying it. For added benefit, it is recom­ mended to first apply the cream and then place a cool compress over the top.

6. Bathe With Care

To cleanse sunburned skin, use relatively cool water and a mild hypoaller­ genic soap such as Cetaphil

or Oilatum. Don't scrub your skin or use a washcloth. And if you take a shower, aim the spray away from the affect­ ed area.

7. Pop A Pain Reliever

Both ibuprofen and aspirin can ease the pain and inflammation of a mild sun­ burn. A more severe burn may require a prescription­ strength anti­inflammatory or corticosteroid. These can have gastrointestinal side effects, though. Ask your doctor about them.

Thursday, August 14, 2014

NOISE DAMAGE

By Michael Burke RHAD MSHAA of Digital Hearing, Quesada It has been known for years that loud sounds can damage the hearing.

Loud intense sounds (explosions) and milder long­term noise expo­ sure both damage the hearing in different ways: the explo­ sion may cause physical dam­ age; the long­term lower exposure may cause bio­ chemical changes in the inner hair cells.

We all have a fixed number of cochlear hair cells; they cannot regenerate. If we kill them by noise exposure they cannot come back; they are lost for ever. There is no med­ ical treatment for noise­ induced hearing loss.

We are born with thousands more hair cells than we need at any one time. Noise exposure in younger life will gradually kill these hair cells off. The problem does not surface until later on in life when the final remaining hair cells die.

Noise exposure effects are cumulative.

Noise­induced hearing loss can be tempo­ rary, e.g. for a few days after a loud concert, then the impression is that the hearing recovers. If this is repeated too often, one day the recovery will not occur. If there is ringing in the ears after exposure to loud sounds, it could be the result of an injury dis­ charge in cochlear neurons which are in the process of dying.

Music today is everywhere – MP3 players, mobile phones, tablets, etc., are all now mass­produced at a price affordable to almost everyone in the developed world, and all are capable of being used at damage­ inducing levels. Breaking up periods of exposure to loud music may allow the ear to

recover slightly. For every hour of listening, there should be at least an hour's break. It is estimated that five hours in a loud night club without ear protection equals over sev­ enty times the daily acceptable noise dose.

The older generation may remember the late 80's when the first rules about hearing protection in the workplace started to appear. Ear protectors were made available by law but very often not worn; 'It is not going to happen to us' was the attitude. Today it is happening to them! It will happen to today's younger generation also – BUT MUCH SOONER. If you have any questions about this week's topic, you can e­mail digitalhear­ ing@hotmail.co.uk, contact Michael Burke at Digital Hearing, Quesada Business Centre, Calle los Arcos 7, Ciudad Quesada – Tel 698 418 642, or visit us on­line at www.digital­ hearingspain.com.

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Thursday, August 14, 2014

GOOD BACTERIA IS CRUCIAL FOR US Q

I am always having abdominal discomfort such as flat­ ulence and my abdomen feels swollen all the time.

Recently I started having acid reflux for which I was pre­ scribed omeprazole, but it only helps a bit. I actually feel nauseous after taking it. Please help.

Lately I have come across a number of people with similar symptoms to yours. There are many factors that can give rise to the symptoms you are experiencing. However your diet is the most likely cause. We are all aware of coeliac disease, a dis­ order that occurs when people are extremely sensitive to the gliadin component of gluten. However the vast majority of people have a minor, near symptomless gliadin sensitivity. Gliadin is found mostly in grains such as wheat, rye millet and corn.

However it is found in large amounts in wheat. If your problem is due to wheat, then your best bet will be to stop eating it and see how you fare. This is of course after other likely causes of your condition such as infection have been ruled out. Another com­ mon cause of abdominal discomfort is bacteria dysbiosis. This condition occurs when there is an imbalance of bacteria in the stomach. It is the healthy bacteria in the stomach that determines our state of abdominal health. These beneficial microbes include bacteria such as lactobacillus and bifidus. These ‘good bacteria’ make up part of our immune system because they suppress the growth of harmful bacteria that also thrive in our stomach and gut. In addition the ‘good bacteria’ helps us digest food. The acid in the stomach also prevents acid reflux. This is because acid in our stomach destroys harmful bacteria and prevents their growth. These harmful bacteria produce a lot of gas which escapes through the mouth, and in the process carries stomach acid with it. This is how we get acid reflux. Omeprazole provides occasional relief from abdominal symptoms, but at a cost to the body. Omeprazole provides relief by stopping the production of stomach acid – hydrochloric acid. The lack of acid in the stomach encourages the growth of harmful bacteria which suppresses the good bacteria. This in turn causes gastritis, flatulence, acid reflux etc. Another cause of abdominal discomfort is the presence of

A

toxins in the liver and intestine. This is a common finding of mine from diagnostic scans. These toxins include heavy metals – cadmium, mercury, lead, mycotoxins (toxins from fungi), pesti­ cides, herbicides, insecticides etc. Most people have had a life­ time accumulating these toxins in their organs without doing very much to get rid of them. And after many years, the body starts to experience an overload, especially with the abdominal organs, and this is then experienced as abdominal discomfort.

I am a 62 year old retired man, and in fairly good health even though I spoke half a pack of cigarettes a day.

Other than quitting, which I don’t see myself doing in the near future, what can I do to improve my health?

The most important thing for you to do right now is to detoxify your body. By that I mean helping your body get rid of toxins that would have accumulated from smoking cigarettes. It has been estimated that the smoke from cigarettes contains over 4000 different chemicals, many of which are extremely toxic and have been linked to cancer. These toxic chemicals are the rea­ son why cigarettes are harmful to our health. Many people are aware of Carbon monoxide as a toxic by­product of cigarette smoking. Carbon monoxide displaces oxygen in haemoglobin – the red pigment that transports oxygen. A lack of oxygen equates to a lack of energy in cells. Without energy, cells can­ not get rid of toxic waste mostly from cigarettes, thus creating a vicious cycle. Cigarette smoking is recognised as the biggest source of cadmium contamination in the body. Cadmium is a highly toxic heavy metal. In my experience with performing diagnostic scans, I have observed that nearly all smokers and even ex­smokers are heavily contaminated with cadmium. A number of international agencies have recognised cadmium as a cancer causing chemical. Cadmium has clearly been docu­ mented to decrease attention span and memory in people. In men, it reduces sperm count and libido, and has also been linked to disorders of the prostate gland. Arsenic, Cyanide and lead are known poisons, and are found in cigarette smoke. In addition, cigarette smoke is known to contain other deadly sub­

Q

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stances such as Polonium­ a cancer causing radioactive metal, Formaldehyde – used to preserve dead bodies, Methoprene – an insecticide, Benzene – used in making dyes and rubbers, among many other toxic substances. You can see that the most useful advice for any smoker is to undergo a com­ plete detoxification process to rid the body of these toxins. First, it is important to make the distinction between a ‘Metabolic Detoxification’ and a ‘Colonic Irrigation’. Metabolic detoxifica­ tion eliminates toxins from inside the cells, while a colonic irri­ gation is more of an external process, to clean out the intes­ tines. The difference between them can be likened to the differ­ ence between having your car cleaned out in a car wash, and having it cleaned out in a garage. Properly done detox usually takes several weeks. In my experience, the most effective products for eliminating toxins from the body are ‘Metabolic Cleanse’ and ‘Pectasol’. I usually use both products together for a more complete cleanse. Metabolic cleanse is a special for­ mulation by Douglas laboratories. It contains special nutrients required by the liver and intestines to remove toxic substances from the body. These special nutrients include: N­acetyl Cysteine, Inositol, and many amino acids required for the body’s detoxification processes. Pectasol is one of the most effective agents for removing from the body heavy metals such as mercury, cadmium, lead and arsenic. Research has shown that Pectasol increases the urinary excretion of heavy metals a hundred fold. Smoking is also known to destroy Vitamin C from the body, and so smokers are better off taking lots of vitamin C. Vitamin C is extremely useful to the body as a powerful antiox­ idant. Vitamin C is quickly used by the body and the best form for smokers to take is ‘Slow release vitamin C’. In summary to improve your health as a smoker you should consider having a complete detox to eliminate toxins from your body, and also supplementing with slow release Vitamin C supplements.

Pectasol is available from MedB Health Shop at a discount price of 83.94 Euros, and shipped for free to your doorstep.

You can also pay on delivery. Call 965071745.

Thursday, August 14, 2014

23

STRANGE BUT TRUE SIBERIAN SURVIVOR PAWS FOR THOUGHT

A three­year­old girl was plucked to safety after surviving for a remarkable 11 days and nights lost in the Siberian taiga ­ infest­ ed with bears and wolves. Astonishingly, the worst of the child's injuries were mosquito bites and scratches to her feet.

Rescuers say Karina Chikitova was saved by her puppy who kept her warm for more than a week before leaving her side to return home and sum­ mon help.

Karina wandered away from her home in a remote village, accompanied by her puppy. Lost in the wilderness, the small girl made herself beds in the long grasses, which are common in the south­west of the Sakha Republic ­ Russia's largest region ­ in summer.

However, these made it impossible for search helicopters and drones to spot Karina who was wearing only a red under­ shirt and purple stockings when she was discovered.

Experts say her chances of survival for such a long period were minimal ­ Sakha is Siberia's coldest region in winter but at this time of year the night­time tempera­ tures can reach around 6C. Afanasiy Nikolayev, a spokesman for the Sakha Republic Rescue Service, said:

A new dog collar is set to tell owners when their pets are feeling happy ­ and TEXT them when they are sad.

The invention will monitor the tempera­ ture, heart rate and breathing activities of precious pets in relation to their breeds.

The "smart collar" will then send an alert to your phone by email or text message if it senses a problem.

Manufacturers behind PetPace say wor­ ried families will be able to tell when their pooches are sick, hungry, or just a bit down in the dumps.

Sensors built into the hi­tech device are similar to those used by athletes to keep a close eye on their health. The collar can also monitor how many calories have been burned in a day and can detect if an animal is in pain by assessing physical and behav­ ioural signs.

Dr Asaf Dagan, chief veterinary scientist at PetPace said: "This collar will enable pets, for the first time, to 'tell' us how they feel.

The hi­tech invention will go on sale in Britain next year for around £90.

ZOOKS! IT’S A ZONKEY

A zonkey – a cross between a zebra and a donkey – has "If she was to hug her puppy, we thought, been born in the Black Sea this would have given her a chance to stay peninsula.

The foal, born last week to a warm during nights and survive.

"So when her dog came back we very lonely zebra and a don­ thought 'that's it' ­ even if she was alive ­ key who likes to try new things, and chances were slim ­ now she would has the brown head and body have definitely have lost all hopes. Our of his father while his legs have the characteristic black hearts truly and deeply sank."

Instead the loyal pooch turned out to be stripes of his mother.

While cross­breeding heroic and led rescue teams to his beloved owner's side. Along with the dog's between the two species is not guidance, rescuers spotted traces of the unheard of, it is rare and gen­ erally frowned upon in zoos. youngster's bare feet.

‘Such things don’t happen in "It was Karina's puppy that helped the adults find the girl," said a report by NTV civilised zoos, but can occur at private zoos or on farms,’ said Anna news.

Karnina was reported as being con­ Kachurovskaya, a zoo spokeswoman.

Staff at the zoo have named the zonkey scious and looking well. After being given something to eat and drunk she was taken Telegraph, after a local paper, and say he is ‘very popular with visitors’. to hospital with her mother by her side.

They explained that Telegraph’s mother had not mated in several months and was growing uncomfortable in her enclosure, so they moved her in with the other hooved ani­ mals – and she took a liking to the donkey.

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Thursday, August 14, 2014

LIONS ROAR FOR CALENDAR GIRL SAN MIGUEL

The Torrevieja Costa Lions Club has donated 500 Euros to the food bank of the Association of Neighbours "San Miguel Archangel" of San Miguel de Salinas. Some of the money has been used to buy eggs, oil, baby milk, butter and fruit, to supple­ ment the basic food basket of the July and August allocation. The generosity of the Lions Club towards the food bank of San Miguel de Salinas ensures an ongoing part­ nership to help poor local families as the organisation has pledged to provide further financial support in the future according to need.

The fact is that 2014 has seen a reduc­ tion in the allocations of food aid from the governments of the Valencia Autonomous Region and the Alicante Province to the food banks of every small town due to eco­ nomic cut backs. ‘San Miguel de Salinas’, the Association says,’ is fortunate to have partners who understand the problems and give generously to the project. As well as Lions Club International, the Association works with other organisations, including the Help Association Vega Baja, to provide assistance to those in greatest need. But equally it is the small donations of food from regular shoppers at Mas y Mas

The tireless efforts of Kate Camish means that the Rojales­based Easy Horse Care Rescue centre will be able to relaunch its popular yearly calendar. Last year, the calendar had to be scrapped due to a lack of time and resources, but long­time sup­ porter Kate, who has a craft store in the San Luis area of Torrevieja, stepped up to the plate and managed to raise two thousand euros in just a couple of months.

“Kate contacted us two years ago about rescuing a little don­ key named Sancho Panza, who had been abandoned by a shepherd and was left to wan­ der the wasteland and salt lakes of the Los Montesinos area. We brought little Sancho Panza here and Kate has been a strong supporter of us ever since,” said co­founder Sue Weeding.

The 2015 calendar will fea­ Supermarket in San Miguel that make a sig­ ture 13 glossy photographs of nificant difference. The food drop at the the many horses, ponies and front of the supermarket is emptied daily by donkeys saved from abuse and volunteers and general advice on what is neglect, who are now living out most needed is posted at the drop. The their days peacefully and hap­ Association thanks all the organisations, pily at the Rojales centre. The individuals and volunteers, some even calendar will come out next Food Bank recipients themselves, who con­ month and will cost five euros, tribute on behalf of those who receive help.’ with every cent raised being In San Miguel de Salinas there are up to used to cover the Centre’s run­ 70 families at any one time, and The ning costs.

Association of Neighbours have registered a cooperative for the local unemployed workers called ‘Angeles de San Miguel Coop. V’, or the Angels of San Miguel, and is an official Cooperativa de Trabajo Valenciana. Services of cleaning, garden­ ing, painting and general labouring are offered at reasonable rates. The scheme enables the unemployed to help them­ selves just as the Association and its part­ ners help them. For information on how the Angels could help you visit their website www.angeles­de­san­miguel.eu or email angelesanmiguel@gmail.com Pictured are Pauline & Derrick Howarth of San Miguel de Salinas with The Torrevieja Costa Lions Club President Jannette Bennett (centre).

SUMMER NIGHTS

Grease is very much the word for the MABS Cancer Support Group in the Mar Menor this Friday (August 15th), as you’ll have a chance to sing­a­long with the songs that were made famous by John Travolta and Olivia Newton John in the film musi­ cal that first hit the screens back in 1978. Fancy Dress will be more than welcome and there’ll be a special Grease quiz as well at Bar La Rosa, at San Cayetano near San Javier, with the fun getting going at 9.00pm.

Tickets are available from the bar at just three euros each.

FUN WITH SOLOS

If you’re on your own in the Torrevieja area, then a great way of making friends and having a good social life is to join the 50+ SOLOS. They get together twice monthly for a meal and a chat, and there are no fees, though they have the occasional charity raf­ fle.

Their next meeting will be in Quesada at

Goyos Restaurant on Saturday August 30th at 7.30pm, with more details from Ruth on 966 789 063. They then get together a fort­ night later (Saturday September 13th at 7.30pm) at a typically Spanish restaurant, Jaens, on the man street in Guardamar.

Booking details for that night come from Anne on 966 786 281.

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Thursday, August 14, 2014

Benidorm

ital

rist Cap u o T ’s a c n la B ta s o C The

The Mediterranean equivalent of New York! Like it or dislike it, Benidorm is a must see for everyone, even if it is just so that you can say ‘I’ve been there’!

Benidorm is Costa Blanca’s major tourist resort with the capacity to cope adequately with over 500,000 tourists over the peak­season period. Six out of every ten visitors to the Valencian and Costa Blanca Region opt for Benidorm, in order to take full advantage of its irresistible promise of sun and sand.

There are about 4 miles of breathtaking beaches in Benidorm and crystal clear waters as well the beautiful Playa Levante beach which lies with great restaurants, cafes and bars.

The Old Quarter of Benidorm situated aside the promontory that separates the two Benidorm beaches.

The Cerro Canfali headland that is veined by narrow lanes and alleys, converges

in the light­filled Balcón del Mediterráneo belvedere, whitewashed and decorated with blue tiles, an ornamen­ tal motif repeated along the balustrade that graces stretches off the seafront of

Peacock Island The locals refer to it as simply L’illa (the island) using the valencian dialect, but whatever you call it the fact remains its one of the most eas­ ily recognized symbols of this mas­ sive tourist town and if you’ve never made the journey across the bay to explore it, then you really should, because it’s a great day out.

There is a boat that leaves every hour from the port and takes around 20 minutes each way. The amazing Benidorm skyline seen from the Mediterranean and framed by the tow­ ering Puig Campana mountain (the one with the hole in the top) is simply stunning, in fact the whole trip is worth it just for that view.

When you get to the island you can spend as little or as long as you want. Enjoy an ice cream or some typical tapas in the restaurant or make a day of it and take a picnic. The island is a protected national park so flora and fauna abound, wander the path to the sum­ mit for a great view of the coast right up to Alicante, then find a comfy patch of rock or undergrowth to enjoy your picnic, with just the fresh sea air and the gulls for company.

Benidorm.

This small Old Quarter cor­ responds to the original fish­ ing village and is presided over by the blue­tiled domed roof of the 18th century San Jaime Parish Church.

In the area around the traditional city centre of Benidorm are the main shopping streets where you may find and buy fashion items, handicrafts and sou­ venirs.

Of course, Benidorm is also the ideal place for a family visit no matter what your budget, with plenty of family attractions and theme parks to keep everyone entertained alongside a great range of accommoda­ tion choices.

If letting your cares melt away in the sunshine can only keep you occupied for so long, you'll enjoy the Biblioplaya (beachfront library) at Levante where you can borrow books and magazines for free. When you fancy a bite to eat, Benidorm's numerous

seafront cafes are ready to cater to all sorts of tastes and appetites, with many selling English food.

If you get the urge to explore, a two­mile boat excursion to the Isla de Benidorm is a great way to fulfil your desire to see more of this beautiful part of the world.

With an average summer­ time sea temperature of 24°C, it won't just be the dazzling white sand that

keeps you coming back to Benidorm's beaches day after day.

If you're only out for the short haul, how about a wonder around the many cafes and restaurants that bring Benidorm to life after the sun goes down or watch a show at the Benidorm Palace, Just don't be sur­ prised if that Spanish atmos­ phere turns your late evening meal into a full night on the tiles!

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Thursday, August 14, 2014

PERFECT PASTA ROASTED SQUASH, SHALLOT, SPINACH & RICOTTA PASTA Ingredients

1 butternut squash (approx 800g in weight), peeled and diced 4 banana shallots, quar­ tered lengthways (roots intact) 2 tbsp olive oil 400g wholemeal pasta shapes 300g baby spinach leaves 6 tbsp ricotta 4 sage leaves, very finely chopped zest and juice 1 lemon a few gratings of fresh nutmeg

Method

1. Heat oven to 200C/180C fan/gas 6. Tip the squash and shallots into a large roasting dish. Toss in the oil, season and roast for 40 mins, stirring once.

2. Meanwhile, cook the pasta following pack instructions, reserving a few tbsp of cooking water. Place the spinach in a large colander and pour over boiling water to wilt. Allow to cool a little, then squeeze out as much excess water as pos­ sible. Pop into a bowl with two­thirds of the ricotta, the sage, lemon juice and zest, nutmeg and seasoning, then stir.

3. Next, tip the ricotta mixture into the hot drained pasta. Stir, adding a few tbsp of the cooking liquid. Mix most of the roast­ ed veg with the pasta. Divide into bowls and dot with the remaining ricotta and scatter over any final bits of veg.

CREAMY COURGETTE & BACON PASTA Ingredients 1 tsp olive oil 150g diced pancetta or smoked bacon lardons 4 courgettes, coarsely grated 1 garlic clove, crushed handful freshly grated parmesan 1 small tub (200g) low­fat crème fraîche 300g tagliatelle

Method

1. Heat the olive oil in a large frying pan and sizzle the pancetta or bacon for about 5 mins until starting to crisp. Turn up the heat and add the grated courgette to the pan. Cook for 5 mins or until soft and starting to brown then add the garlic and cook for a minute longer. Season and set aside.

2. Cook the tagliatelle according to the pack instructions and scoop out a cupful of cooking water. Drain the tagliatelle and tip into the frying pan with the bacon and courgette. Over a low heat toss everything together with the crème fraiche and half the Parmesan adding a splash of pasta water too if you need to loosen the sauce. Season to taste and serve twirled into bowls with the remaining Parmesan scattered over.

WALNUT & RED PEPPER PESTO PASTA Ingredients 400g strozzapreti or casarecce pasta, or anoth­ er short pasta shape 100g walnuts 3 roasted red peppers, roughly chopped 25g Parmesan, or a vege­ tarian alternative, plus extra to serve 1 small garlic clove, rough­ ly chopped large pack basil, plus a few leaves to serve 2 tbsp extra virgin olive oil 50g mascarpone

Method

1. Cook the pasta following pack instructions. Meanwhile, toast the walnuts in a dry pan for a few mins. Add half the walnuts to the small bowl of a food processor or a hand chop­ per, along with the red peppers, Parmesan, garlic, basil, oil

and some seasoning. Whizz to a paste, adding a splash of water from the pasta if it is a little dry.

2. Drain the pasta, reserving a cup of the cooking water.

Return the pasta to the pan and set over a low heat. Add the pesto, mascarpone and 3­4 tbsp of the reserved pasta water, then stir until the mascarpone has melted, adding a splash more pasta water if the sauce needs thinning. To serve, crush the remaining walnuts in your hand and scatter over the pasta with a few more basil leaves and some extra Parmesan.

SPECIAL SEAFOOD & SAFFRON PASTA Ingredients 3 firm tomatoes 200g fusilli lunghi or another long, thin pasta shape 2 tbsp olive oil 3 garlic cloves, thinly sliced 100g king prawns, deveined 100g scallops, halved if very large 300g mussels, shells cleaned 150ml white wine good pinch saffron, mixed with 3 tbsp hot water zest 1 lemon, plus juice ½ 4 tbsp single cream small pack parsley, chopped 2 tbsp pine nuts, toased

Method

1. Bring a large pan of salted water to the boil and have a bowl of cold water to hand. Cut a small cross in the base of each tomato and add to the hot water, then after 15 secs, scoop out with a slotted spoon (but keep the water boiling for the pasta) and plunge into the cold water. Leave the toma­ toes to cool for 30 secs, then remove. Use a small sharp knife to peel away the skin, starting at the base where you made the cross. Cut each tomato into quarters then cut out and discard the seeds and any membrane. Cut into small dice, then set aside.

2. Add the pasta to the boiling water and cook for 2 mins less than it says on the pack. Meanwhile, heat the oil in a large frying pan (you’ll need to use one with a lid) and add the gar­ lic, sizzle for 2 mins until just starting to turn golden, then push to one side of the pan. Increase the heat and add the prawns and scallops, fry for 1­2 mins until the prawns are pink and the scallops are just turning golden, then scoop out of the pan and set aside on a plate. Add the mussels, white wine, saffron (with its soaking liquid) and some seasoning.

Cover the pan with a lid and leave to steam for 3 mins until the mussels open (discard any which stay closed).

3. Add the lemon zest and juice and the cream to the sauce and check the seasoning. Drain the pasta and add this too,

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Thursday, August 14, 2014 along with the prawns, scallops and diced tomato. Toss everything together, and bubble for another 2 mins, or until the pasta has absorbed some of the sauce and is cooked through. Scatter with parsley and pine nuts and give every­ thing a final toss together.

EASY PESTO LASAGNE Ingredients 190g jar pesto 500g tub mascarpone 200g bag spinach, roughly chopped 250g frozen peas small pack basil, leaves chopped, and a few leaves reserved to finish small pack mint, leaves chopped 12 fresh lasagne sheets splash of milk 85g Parmesan, grated (or vegetarian alternative) 50g pine nuts green salad, to serve (optional)

Method

1. Heat oven to 180C/160C fan/gas 4. Place the pesto, half the mascarpone and 250ml water (or vegetable stock if you have some) in a pan. Heat and mix until smooth and bub­ bling. Add the spinach and peas and cook for a few more mins until the spinach has wilted and the peas thawed. Add the herbs and season.

2. Place a third of the pesto mixture into a baking dish rough­ ly 18 x 25cm. Top with 4 lasagne sheets, then repeat with 2 more layers of sauce and lasagne sheets, finishing with a layer of pasta. Mix enough milk into the remaining mascar­ pone to make a white sauce consistency, season, then pour over the top. Sprinkle with the Parmesan and pine nuts. Bake for 35­40 mins until golden brown on top and bubbling around the edges. Scatter over the reserved basil leaves and serve with a green salad, if you like.

TAGLIATELLE WITH VEGETABLE RAGU Ingredients 1 onion, finely chopped 2 celery sticks, finely chopped 2 carrots, diced 4 garlic cloves, crushed 1 tbsp each tomato purée and balsamic vinegar 250g diced vegetables, such as courgettes, peppers and mushrooms 50g red lentils 2 x 400g cans chopped tomatoes with basil 250g tagliatelle (or your favourite pasta) 2 tbsp shaved parmesan (optional)

Method

1. Tip the onion, celery and carrots into a large non­stick saucepan and add 2­3 tbsp water or stock, if you have some.

Cook gently, stirring often, until the vegetables are soft.

2. Add the garlic, tomato purée and balsamic vinegar, cook on a high heat for 1 min more, add the diced veg, lentils, tomatoes, then bring up to the boil.

3. Turn to a simmer, then cook for about 20 mins. Meanwhile, cook the pasta following pack instructions, then drain.

Season the ragu and serve with pasta and Parmesan on top, if you like.

ITALIAN SAUSAGE & PASTA POT Ingredients 1 tbsp olive oil 8 Italian sausages 2.8l hot chicken stock 400g penne pasta 2 carrots, thinly sliced 2 onions, thinly sliced 3 celery sticks, thinly sliced 140g green beans, cut into 5cm/2in lengths handful flat­leaf parsley, chopped

Method

1. Heat the oil in a large pan and fry the sausages until brown all over. Pour in the hot chicken stock and sim­ mer with a lid on for 10 mins.

2. Add the pasta to the pan, mix well and bring to the boil. Stir in the carrots and onions, cook for 5 mins, then add the celery and beans, and cook for a further 4 mins. Check that the pasta is cooked – if not, cook for a few minutes longer.

3. Finally, stir in chopped parsley, season, and serve in large

bowls

CRAB LASAGNE Ingredients 600ml milk ¼ tsp ground nutmeg 85g butter, plus extra for greasing 50g plain flour 227ml pot double cream 100g Parmesan, grated 1 egg, beaten 3 x 100g pots brown and white crabmeat 2 x 500g packs trimmed leek, well washed and finely sliced 12 sheets fresh lasagne 400g chunky skinless cod fillet, cubed

Method

1. Tip the milk, nutmeg, 50g of the butter and the flour into a non­stick pan.

Heat while whisking or stirring until thickened.

Remove from the heat and stir in the cream with plenty of seasoning.

Measure 450ml of the sauce and beat half the Parmesan and the egg into it. Once cool, stir the crabmeat into the remaining sauce.

2. Melt the remaining butter in a very large pan or wok, add the leeks and cook for about 10 mins, stirring frequently, until softened and cooked down.

3. Lightly grease 2 x 20cm square ovenproof dishes – trim the lasagne sheets to fit, if you need to.

4. Spoon a quarter of the leeks into each dish and spread out. Top each with 2 lasagne sheets, then cover with the crab mixture and scatter over the chunks of fish. Top each with another 2 sheets, then cover with the leeks and the last of the sheets followed by the cheese sauce, then the remaining Parmesan.

5. To freeze: Wrap the dishes in several layers of cling film, then foil. Use within 2 months. Thaw overnight in the fridge.

Heat oven to 180C/160C fan/gas 4. Unwrap the lasagnes and bake for 40 mins. (A freshly made version will take the same time.) Serve with a salad.

SPAGHETTI WITH ARTICHOKES & PESTO Ingredients 350g spaghetti 2 eggs 2 tbsp milk 4 tbsp green pesto 50g Parmesan (or vegetarian alternative), grated, plus extra to serve (optional) 390g can artichokes, drained, quartered and dried 50g pine nuts

Method

1. Cook the spaghetti follow­ ing pack instructions.

Meanwhile, in a small bowl or jug, beat the eggs together with the milk, pesto, Parmesan, artichokes and seasoning.

2. Heat a small pan on a medium heat and add the pine nuts. Toast for a few mins, shaking the pan occa­ sionally, until they are pale golden. Keep your eye on them as they can catch and burn quickly.

3. Once the pasta is cooked, drain in a colander and tip back into the pan. Put the pan onto a low heat and pour over the egg mixture, tossing together to coat all of the pasta in the sauce – take care not to heat it for too long or it will start to scramble.

4. Toss through the toasted pine nuts and serve with extra Parmesan at the table, if you like.

LEMONY PRAWN & PEA PASTA Ingredients 350g linguine or other long pasta

140g large frozen prawns 100g frozen peas 1 egg yolk zest and juice 1 lemon handful grated parmesan soured cream (optional)

Method

1. Boil the linguine for 8 mins. Three minutes before the time is up, tip in the prawns and peas. Reserve a cup of cooking water, then drain the pasta and return to the pan.

2. Add the egg yolk, lemon zest and juice, most of the Parmesan and some soured cream, if you like. Stir everything together, adding a little of the pasta cooking water to loosen the mixture.

3. Serve sprinkled with Parmesan.

PASTA WITH MOZZARELLA, MINT & FRESH TOMATO SAUCE Ingredients zest and juice 1 lemon 1 red onion, very finely chopped 400g spaghetti 6 tbsp extra­virgin olive oil, plus extra for drizzling 4 tsp small capers 1 red chilli, deseeded and finely chopped pinch of sugar 500g red ripe cherry tomatoes, quartered bunch mint, leaves torn handful chives, snipped 1 or 2 x 125g balls buffalo mozzarella, depending on how lav­ ish you feel

Method

1. Put the lemon juice and zest into a large bowl, tip in the onion, then season with salt and pepper. Set aside for 10 mins, to let the onion soften a little.

2. Boil the spaghetti for 10 mins. Mix the oil, capers, chilli and sugar into the lemony onions, then season generously.

3. When the pasta is ready, drain, toss with a splash of oil, then let cool awhile. Put into the bowl with the dressing, tip in the tomatoes and most of the herbs, then toss well. Tear in the mozzarella and toss ever so gently. Put into bowls, top with more herbs and drizzle with more oil to serve

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Thursday, August 14, 2014

10 foods you shouldn’t keep in the fridge and why Tomatoes

Tomatoes just love the sunshine ­ they will grow to their full potential when basking in the sun rays so if you pop them in the fridge after you've picked them or bought them from the supermarket, they're crying out for warmth.

it in the fridge but make sure you keep it in a Tupperware box or an airtight container otherwise the smell of the onion will get soaked up by all your other veggies and they'll all taste of onion!

Honey Storing honey in the fridge is a big no­no. If kept in the fridge honey can actually crystallise making it extremely hard to spread on your toast or spoon onto your bowl of porridge in the morning and that's all you need.

The best way to store: Honey should be stored in a dry place in a tightly closed container at room temperature.

Basil The best way to store: Cold air can turn your tomatoes flesh into mush so store them in the cupboard or even in your fruit bowl instead

Potatoes Keeping your potatoes in the fridge will make the starch in the potatoes turn into sugar making them taste unusually sweet which is not what you want in a potato!

The best way to store: Store your potatoes in a paper bag in a cool, dark place like a pantry. Keeping your potatoes in a paper bag instead of a plastic bag will mean that they'll stay fresher for longer and won't rot as fast.

Avocado There's a rule when it comes to avocados and the fridge. If you've bought an avocado that you want to ripen, don't put it in the fridge but if you've got an avocado that's ripe and you don't want to eat it straight away, then you can store it in the

If you're a lover of fresh herbs and you often find yourself with heaps of basil ­ whether it's freshly grown or shop­ bought, don't store it in the fridge. You might think it's a good way to make it last longer but in fact basil, like tomatoes, needs warmth.

Onions You might think keeping an onion in the fridge is the best way for it to stay fresh but think again. Storing your onion in the fridge will cause it to lose it's fresh flavour, crisp bite and taste.

The best way to store: One of the best ways to keep basil fresh is by treating it like a bunch of flowers. Keep it in a small vase or glass of water and just change the water every few days ­ simple!

The best way to store: If you've got an unpeeled onion you should store it in a dry, well­ventilated location in your kitchen. Once you've chopped your onion, then you can store

Garlic Not only will garlic stink the fridge out, it will also make other foods taste like garlic too if kept in the veggie draw. The flavour of the garlic can fade in the fridge as well meaning it won't be as strong as when you first bought it.

The best way to store: We'd recommend storing your fresh garlic in a cool, dry place like your kitchen cupboard or pantry. It should last up to 2 months if stored correctly.

fridge.

The best way to store: We'd recommend storing your avo­ cado in your kitchen cupboard or even in the fruit bowl out of direct sunlight if you've got any windows nearby!

Bread We really wouldn't recommend keeping bread in the fridge.

Not only will it dry out your loaf very quickly but it'll make it taste a little different too and it just won't be the same when it comes to making a sandwich.

The best way to store: A freshly made or shop­bought loaf can be kept on the kitchen counter out of direct sunlight or heat ­ a bread bin is the perfect way of keeping your bread cool but not drying it out. If you're not going to be able to eat your loaf in expiry time, stick it in the freezer and defrost a few slices at a time or use to make toast without defrosting.

Olive oil

Apples

Have you ever kept olive oil in the fridge before? We wouldn't recommend it! Storing it in the fridge will cause the oil to condense and harden. It'll be more like butter than oil in texture.

You might think the best way to keep those apples looking perfect is by keeping them in the fridge but you're wrong.

The best way to store: Olive oil is best kept in its original bottle in a cool, dark place like the kitchen cupboard.

The best way to store: The fruit bowl in your kitchen is the ideal place for your apples. You can keep them in the fruit bowl for about 2 weeks (if they're not starting to look sorry for themselves!) and then you can pop them in the fridge ­ just don't keep them in there for too long otherwise they'll dry out.

Thursday, August 14, 2014

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Thursday, August 14, 2014

Restaurants & Bars

Services

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Thursday, August 14, 2014

Property

Lifestyle

The Vista Card

For great discounts, cut out This Vista Card and present it to participating businesses

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Thursday, August 14, 2014

Horoscopes Aries March 21 ­ April 19 Jealousy could rear its ugly head today, Aries. This could involve a romantic rela­ tionship. Jealousy is often groundless, so avoid it by doing some communicating.

This is the time to make the effort to turn a disadvantage into an advantage. Strong emotions can work for you under some circumstances. A passionate reconcilia­ tion is better than an angry estrangement.

Taurus April 20 ­ May 20 Nervous tension could cause a temporary malaise that keeps your energy very low today. But there are tasks that need to be done, Taurus, so you'll probably try to do them in spite of the way you feel. Try not to overwork yourself or take your weari­ ness out on others. It's better to let some things go than make yourself and every­ one else that much more stressed out.

Gemini May 21 ­ June 20 A group with which you're affiliated may be temporarily torn apart by quarrels among its members, Gemini. It's best to stay out of it. A friend could be having trouble and come to you for advice and help. Don't let yourself get too frustrated by his or her weakness. This could be a frustrating day for you, and one best spent concentrating on projects. All will be better tomorrow.

Cancer June 21 ­ July 22 Changes taking place in your home could cause some temporary frustration tense nerves on the part of family members, Cancer. Perhaps you're moving or refur­ nishing or trying to do a thorough cleaning and everyone is getting into everyone else's way. Just try to get the job done as quickly as possible. Once it's done, tem­ pers will subside and all will be well.

By Pandora Leo July 23 ­ August 22 Miscommunication with someone from far away could lead to bruised egos, heightened emotions, and angry phone calls. It's best not to get drawn into a quarrel, Leo. Try to straighten it all out.

Changes in your neighborhood could cause problems with travel, so be pre­ pared for blocked streets and heavy traf­ fic. Walk ­ it will clear your head and get you where you're going more quickly.

Virgo August 23 ­ September 22 Your talents as a psychologist could be put to work today when misunderstand­ ings arise. Your companions aren't likely to be thinking straight and may not respond to reassurance, Virgo. Use your intuition to find the best way to defuse the situation. Finances might cause some worry right now, but your ingenuity and money sense should put things right.

Libra September 23 ­ October 22 Someone who interests you could seem to be showing interest in someone else.

This might arouse your insecurities and cause a bit of jealousy. Don't make your­ self crazy, Libra. All may not be as it seems. Try to discern the facts.

Invitations to more than one social event on the same night might force you to make an uncomfortable choice. Make the one that suits you best.

Scorpio October 23 ­ November 21 Someone is keeping secrets from you. We all have private issues, Scorpio, but this situation affects you. Your intuition will probably tell you who the person is. Try to get them to open up without exerting pres­ sure. Unfinished tasks could drive you crazy. You may try to race through them, which can cause too much stress. Get the crucial ones done and let the others go.

Relax with a movie tonight.

Sagittarius November 22 ­ December 21 Circumstances beyond your control might get in the way of attending a group event.

This could cause some disappointment for you and others, Sagittarius. It's best to find something else to do. Your own project is likely to need some attention, and this could prove to be a challenge that keeps you engrossed for hours. Treat yourself to dinner out tonight.

Capricorn December 22 ­ January 19 A female visitor who needs some sympa­ thy could come around today. She may want advice on some problems, Capricorn, but she could also bring infor­ mation, possibly involving new scientific or metaphysical studies that you find fas­ cinating and that you'll want to relate to others. This information could trigger your own insights. Write down your ideas.

You'll want to remember them.

Aquarius January 20 ­ February 18 Some important plans, perhaps involving a vacation or education, could be temporarily blocked by circumstances beyond your control, Aquarius. This can make you upset and might even set your temper on edge.

You may be tempted to take out your frus­ trations on others. It would be more produc­ tive ­ and challenging ­ to find ways to make your plans work, even if they're delayed.

Pisces February 19 ­ March 20 A letter or call could arrive today bringing upsetting news about money, Pisces. Your first reaction might be to blame yourself or someone else, but the circumstances are probably beyond anyone's control.

Chances are it can be set right. Before anyone gets too upset, it's best to investi­ gate and find out what needs to be done. It might take some effort, but all will be well.

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Thursday, August 14, 2014

RICHARD CAVENDER

Bluemoon Solutions www.bluemoonsolutions.es

BlueMoon Solutions is the computer and IT services com­ pany on the Costa Blanca, they provide quality computer services at realistic prices and specialise in working with home users and small businesses.

Richard moved to Spain eight years ago having left his management background behind in the UK and decided to use his IT skills to help home users and small businesses with their PC prob­ lems. Now a relaxed 'computer man' he is out and about in the Spanish sun every day, making house and shop calls and using his vast expe­ rience and qualifications to (usually) sort out the problem there and then. Computers are his hobby as well as his work so don’t be surprised to get an answer to your email in the early hours!

ADVICE: Robert wanted to know how to get Word Lens to ADVICE: Margaret was having problem opening .gif files translate Turkish.

Q

A

I have just installed wordlens to my I phone and it works great, I was wondering if it is possible to get a translation Turkish to English

Hi Robert, nope sorry the only languages available at the moment are English, Russian, Spanish, Portuguese, Italian, French and German.

ADVICE: James was having some problems with printing

Q

Hi Richard hope you are both well?

I am having a problem printing from Outlook. I get my document from Open Office that I want to print I press print as normal a sign now comes up with " PDF Complete Document Creations Options" as a heading. I cannot find a way to print from this sign. Help Please. James

A

Hi James, it sounds to me like you have some sort of PDF creator set as the default printer, you can change this by clicking start > control panel > hardware and sound > devices and print­ ers and then in the printers section just right hand click your printer and select the option “set as default printer”.

This should sort out the problem.

Don’t forget you can follow me on twit­ ter @bluemoonspain Alternately why don’t you sign up for my newsletter. You can do this by going to:­ www.bluemoonsolutions.es and fill in the form that is on any page except the front page.

Q A

Hi Richard. I can't open GIF files for some reason and wondered if you could help.

Many thanks Margaret

Hi Margaret, in order to open any type of file your computer needs to know which program to use to display the contents of the file. It looks like in your case your com­ puter hasn’t been told what to use to open .gif files, I’m pleased to say this is a pretty simple problem to solve.

Just right hand click the file that you are struggling to open and choose the option “open with”, you will be offered a number of pro­ grams to use, select Internet Explorer (this pro­ gram certainly opens .gif files), tick the box to always open .gif files using this program and click ok.

That should sort the problem out.

ADVICE: Rose wanted to know how to get hold of the latest version of AVG

Q

Hi Richard it is Rose, when I type in web site for AVG free security cover and click search a list of sites offering AVG, free cover appears. I am not sure which heading to click on. At the moment on my computer it says I have 28 days left of cover, so I thought I would download the new free version of AVG. Thanks Richard Hi Rose, you can download the free version of AVG 2014, the latest version, from the link below… http://free.avg.com/eu­en/free­downloads …once downloaded, you just need to run the installation and AVG will automatically remove the previous version and install the new free version.

A

office@bluemoonsolutions.es www.bluemoonsolutions.es Mobile: 655 044 970

Office: 902 906 200

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Thursday, August 14, 2014

MERCEDES' WOLFF SAYS HAMILTON ROSBERG RIVALRY WON'T BOIL OVER MERCEDES motorsport boss Toto Wolff is confident the simmering rivalry between Lewis Hamilton and Nico Rosberg will not boil over and has revealed the pair may be allowed to duel for the Formula One title.

German Rosberg leads the drivers' stand­ ings on 202 points, with Briton Hamilton 11 points behind and their nearest rival Daniel Ricciardo (Red Bull) a further 60 points adrift.

Mercedes have won nine of the 11 grand prix this season and it appears Rosberg and Hamilton, whose relationship has been frosty of late, are in pole position for the title.

Wolff told formula1.com: "Yes, potentially it is going to get more heated, but if we carry on in performing as we do now I am still carefully optimistic that it is only up to the two of them in fighting for the world champi­ onship.

"Then we get to a situation where we could discuss if we want to maintain the way we work with each other.

"Do we think it is beneficial for the car, the team, and both sides of the garage? Or do we want to recalibrate a little bit, because it is about the two of them and one remaining world championship?

"That is a question mark ­ I don't know, because I haven't been there yet. It is new ground.

"For the drivers, it is about the drivers'

world championship, but nevertheless you have to understand that there is a big organ­ isation behind them ­ one of the biggest and most well­known brands in the world ­ and sometimes the team comes first. That is clear and both of them acknowledge and accept that."

The relationship between the drivers was subject to scrutiny when Hamilton refused to allow Rosberg to pass during the Hungarian Grand Prix last month, acting against team orders.

Wolff believes the pair's relationship is good for the team.

"Until now it has functioned really well," Wolff added.

"Could it come to a point where we say it is difficult to manage? It could be, but I don't see it ­ not with the two of them.

"They push each other to new levels, to new heights, in a way that is not detrimental to the team.

"It can get quite messy, and we have seen that at other teams. To this point it has been very beneficial for the team.

"We are in good spirits here, we have a good atmosphere, and having two drivers on that level, racing each other like they do, is not only good for the brand but also for per­ formance overall.

"It is a very important ingredient for the success of the team."

Caravans top list of summer's 'most-hated'

GETTING STUCK behind a caravan or tractor is the number one summer driving bugbear of motorists in the UK. This is closely followed

by Bank Holiday queues and boy racers playing loud music in their cars.

Drivers over 60 are more likely to get annoyed by car­ avans and tractors, boy rac­ ers and tailbacks compared to 18­29­year olds.

The top three pet hates of British drivers of summer on the roads is followed by no air conditioning in their car, a hot steering wheel and

sticky leather seats, and for­ getting to bring sunglasses.

Women are more likely to get annoyed by these things, than men, with 28 of female drivers irritated by driving

with no air­conditioning, compared to 18% of men.

Whilst 50% of women also hate hot seats and steering wheels, men don’t seem to mind as much.

Rounding out the top summer driving dislikes are children complaining in the car on long journeys, driving in flip­flops, and sunburn on one arm. More women than men find it stressful when children complain on long journeys (20%), in contrast to just 6% of men.

The survey was conduct­ ed by HPI and its Senior Consumer Services Manager Shane Teskey said: ‘Everyone looks for­ ward to getting away from it all over the summer, but it’s clear from our survey that driving at the height of the season can be stressful.

The warm weather is great, once you’re on the beach, but stuck in traffic in a hot car is enough to test the patience of most motorists.’

Thursday, August 14, 2014

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Thursday, August 14, 2014

CODE CRACKER Code Cracker is a crossword puzzle with no clues; instead, every letter of the alphabet has been replaced by a number, the same number representing the same letter throughout the puzzle. All you have to do is decide which letter is represented by which number. In this week’s puzzle, 10 represents R and 14 represents P, when these letters have been entered throughout the puzzle, you should have enough information to start guessing words and discovering other letters.

QUICKIE

Across 1 Seedless mandarin orange (7) 4 Change (5) 7 Head covering (5) 9 Enlisted person (7) 10 Articulate (7) 11 Grab (5) 12 Hate (6) 14 Canter (6) 18 Original (5) 20 Blow up (7) 22 Country on the Adriatic (7) 23 Depart (5) 24 Work out (5) 25 Completely committed

(7) Down 1 Hang (7) 2 Hobo (5) 3 Lend a hand (6) 4 Broods (5) 5 Beginning (7) 6 Brief (5) 8 Clasp (5) 13 Confusion (7) 15 Horrific (5) 16 Feign (7) 17 Long­bodied reptile (6) 18 Concentrate (5) 19 Heading (5) 21 To one side (5)

Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Tapers, 5 Settle, 8 Type, 9 Caffeine, 10 Distress, 11 Best, 12 Genius, 14 Stench, 16 Eats, 18 Shilling, 20 Diligent, 21 Arid, 22 Legend, 23 Yonder.

Down: 2 Anytime, 3 Elect, 4 Success, 5 Sifts, 6 Tremble, 7 Links, 13 Inspire, 14 Swiftly, 15 Concise, 17 Abide, 18 Spend, 19 Learn.

Scribble Pad

DOUBLE CROSS-WORD Solve the Double Cross­Word puzzle using either the standard or cryptic clues, the answers are exactly the same.

CRYTPIC CLUES Across 7 Face it, it’s just an adver­ tisement about a cafe (6) 8 Seasonal fare for holiday destination (6) 9 Mother begins zealously to find her way out of it (4) 10 Annoys men in the reformed Trots (8) 11 It might be a boundary in sport (7) 13 Tedious driller (5) 15 Notice women at little church (5) 17 Boz ages terribly in summerhouses (7) 20 Cooked George caviare in the rectory (8) 21 Skewer found in hospi­ tal waiting room (4) 22 With her former hus­ band in tow, the Princess made for the outhouse (6) 23 When pressed, me and Ron will stay with Ed

Down 1 Lady collecting silver, what’s the cost? (6) 2 Get a new barrier (4) 3 Write out a melody for a Roman god (7) 4 Sort Kelvin out with a bird (5) 5 The Gunner’s leader regrets nothing by half time. That’s frightful (8) 6 Volkswagen car – one in drive, perhaps (6) 12 Cancel my new flower (8) 14 Jane, at precisely 5.51, is about to compete in a throwing contest (7) 16 Saline mixture is for strangers (6) 18 ‘Jamie’ the musical (6) 19 Boxed disc about a period (5) 21 Bush, dull to listen to (4)

Down STANDARD CLUES 1 Cause harm to (6) Across 7 Building front (6) 2 Box office receipts (4) 8 Large domesticated bird 3 Poseidon's counterpart (6) (7) 9 Labyrinth (4) 10 Inflicts mental anguish 4 Large wading bird (5) on (8) 5 Shockingly repellent (8) 11 Barrier (7) 6 Insect (6) 13 Drill for penetrating rock 12 Houseplant (8) (5) 14 Athletics event (7) 15 Look attentively (5) 17 Summerhouses (7) 16 Foreigners (6) 20 Church officer's resi­ 18 Dickens­based musical dence (8) (6) 21 Rain gently (4) 22 Addition that extends a 19 Confined (5) 21 Small, sour dark purple main building (6) 23 Smoothed out (6) fruit (4) Last weeks Solution Across: 7 Radial, 8 Austen, 9 Dare, 10 Elevates, 11 Feasted, 13 Zooms, 15 Taxes, 17 Foreman, 20 Fuselage, 21 Loom, 22 Remote, 23 Tennis.

Down:: 1 Manage, 2 Mine, 3 Sleeper, 4 Cadet, 5 Escalope, 6 Redeem, 12 Skeleton, 14 Poverty, 16 Amused, 18 Adonis, 19 Wager, 21 Lend.

FILL IT IN

Complete the crossword grid by using the given words:

3 letter words Bed Bib But Eft Led Log Oaf Ode Pet Sad Sea Tot 4 letter words Alas Alto Arab

Area Aria Bang Beat Beer Bias Duff Eggs Erst Folk Game Gone Idea Idle Kiln Knot Lima Long Lota

Oats Oven Over Redo Role Rule Sail Scam Sled Stot Swat Togs Tome Ulna 5 letter words Adage Alert Angel

Attic Cello Clots Elope Enrol Horde Inuit Knots Mania Odour Roost Salsa Selfs Stent Tapas Tasty Tempo Tenet Towel

6 letter words Ascend Ethics Floats Moaner Series Shirks 7 letter words Basinet Hostile Stinker Tersely 8 letter words Appeases Foredoom

SPANISH-ENGLISH CROSSWORD

Improve your Spanish ­ clues in Spanish, answers in English or vice versa.

Across 1 Inútil (inepto) (7) 5 Espalda (4) 8 Holly (5) 9 Heads (body parts) (7) 11 Eastern (side, part) (4) 12 Lazy (idle) (8) 15 Votante (5) 16 Boxing (5) 19 Amount (quantity) (8) 21 Remover (sopa) (4) 23 Beehive (7) 25 January (5) 26 Aficionados (de equipo, grupo) (4) 27 Garajes (7)

Down 2 Maíz dulce (9) 3 Lion (4) 4 Sagrado (lugar, libro) (6) 5 Abeja (3) 6 Garras (de animal) (5) 7 Cuevas (5) 10 Broccoli (6) 13 Allá (4,5) 14 Receta (6) 17 Hammock (bed) (6) 18 Tree (5) 20 Now (at this time, immediately) (5) 22 Yolk (of egg) (4) 24 More (3)

37

Thursday, August 14, 2014 Across 1 Style of rock music derived from punk, typically with apocalyptic or mystical lyrics (4) 3 Type of coffee made with milk that has been frothed up with pressurised steam (10) 10 Athletic contest in which a very heavy round ball is thrown as far as pos­ sible. (4,3) 11 Song written and origi­ nally released by Otis Redding in 1965, which became a 1967 hit and sig­ nature song for Aretha Franklin (7) 12 Compressed mixture of meat and spices, coated in breadcrumbs and fried (7) 13 Male reproductive organ of a flower (6) 15 Scottish name for turnips (5) 16 Understanding of a sit­ uation or event only after it has happened or developed (9) 18 Ship in which the Pilgrim Fathers sailed from England to Massachusetts

in 1620 (9) 21 Second largest city in Iraq (5) 23 Projecting piece on a sundial that shows the time by the position of its shadow (6) 25 Art of Japanese flower arrangement, with formal display according to strict rules (7) 27 Hebrew prophet of the 6th century BC who prophe­ sied the forthcoming destruction of Jerusalem and the Jewish nation and inspired hope for the future well­being of a restored state (7) 28 Fictional global terror­ ist organisation led by evil genius and super­villain Ernst Stavro Blofeld that feature in the James Bond books and films (7) 29 Misanthrope who dis­ likes women in particular (10) 30 Flat, low­lying areas of eastern England, mainly in L i n c o l n s h i r e , Cambridgeshire and Norfolk (4)

SUDOKU (Very Easy)

Quiz Word

Down 1 Practice or art of choos­ ing, cooking, and eating good food (10) 2 1982 American come­

dy­drama film that tells the story of a talented but volatile actor, played by Dustin Hoffman, whose rep­ utation for being difficult

forces him to adopt a new identity as a woman to land a job (7) 4 American clarinettist, composer and bandleader, born Arthur Jacob Arshawsky on May 23, 1910 (5,4) 5 Capital and largest city of France (5) 6 British pop group from Lincoln who are best known for their 1968 UK hit single Jesamine (7) 7 Lettuce with crisp tight­ ly packed light­green leaves in a firm head (7) 8 Commitment to tell the truth, especially in a court of law (4) 9 BBC TV series (2002 ­ 2010) that followed the work of a group of MI5 officers based at the service’s Thames House headquar­ ters, in a highly secure suite of offices known as The Grid (6) 14 Plans or schemes, especially ones used to out­ wit an opponent or achieve an end (10) 17 In Greek mythology, a

beautiful young man who fell in love with his own reflection (9) 19 American professional baseball team based in the Bronx that competes in Major League Baseball (MLB) in the American League’s (AL) East Division: New York ­­­­­­­ (7) 20 Small, short­tailed, thickset rodent related to the voles, found in the Arctic tundra (7) 21 Former type of military commission conferred especially for outstanding service, by which an officer was promoted to a higher rank without the correspon­ ding pay (6) 22 Major port of entry and the largest city in Washington (7) 24 Tough, lightweight, elastic synthetic polymer with a protein­like chemical structure, able to be pro­ duced as filaments, sheets or moulded (5) 26 Gymnastic apparatus used by women gymnasts (4)

SALLY’S SIMPLE SPANISH

EL VIENTO – THE WIND Match these words with their Spanish translations then find them in the wordsearch.

(Answers below)

movies/tv QUIZ

ANSEWRS 1. Roald Dahl 2. Hocus Pocus 3. Sylvester Stallone 4.

Mickey Rooney 5. The Great Dictator, Adenoid Hinkel 6. Burt Lancaster 7. Stuffing birds 8. Tinker Bell 9. Mogwi 10.

Bartender 11. Roy Rodgers 12. Randolph Scott.

Last Week’s Solutions Code Cracker Last weeks Quiz Word Solution Across: 1 Belts up, 5 Asphalt, 8 Nomad, 9 Perdition, 11 Night watchman, 13 Abseil, 16 Stunt man, 18 Sinecure, 19 Seesaw, 24 Pinking shears, 26 Chameleon, 27 Noise, 28 Traumas, 29 Aniseed. Down: 1 Bonanza, 2 Limoges, 3 Sadat, 4 Poplar, 5 Atrocity, 6 Alien, 7 Tango, 10 Immense, 12 Dana, 14 Bail, 15 Incense, 17 Trainers, 20 Seaside, 21 West End, 22 Uganda, 23 Yacht, 24 Plaza, 25 Hanoi.

energía eólica

contra el viento

la ala delta

el huracán

la cometa

el molinito

la vela

el molino

turbina eólica

el planeador

viento en popa

el velero

viento fuerte

Empareja estas palabras ­ Match the Spanish and English words You will find the answers at the bottom of the quiz.

14.viento fuerte.

1.aires de cambio,

j.the hang glider, k.the glider, l.the wind mill,

2.contra el viento, 3.el huracán, 4.el molinito, 5.el molino,

a.the sail, b.the hurricane,

m.the sailing boat,

6.el planeador, 7.el velero,

c.against the wind,

n.strong wind.

8.energía eólica, 9.la ala delta,

d.before the wind,

10.la cometa, 11.la vela,

e.winds of change,

12.turbina eólica,

f.wind power, g.wind generator,

13.viento en popa,

h.the toy wind mill, i.the kite,

Suduko

Span ­ Eng

Quizword

Answers: 1e, 2c, 3b, 4h, 5l, 6k, 7m, 8f, 9j, 10i, 11a, 12g, 13d, 14n.

1. Which author wrote the screenplay fot the movie 'You Only Live Twice'?

2. Which 1993 Disney film starred Bet Middler as a witch?

3. Who starred as Rocky Balboa?

4. Joe Yule Jr. who was born in 1920 became famous using what stage name?

5. In which film did Charlie Chaplain have his first speaking part in 1940?

6. What star once sold lingerie door to door?

7. What was Norman Bate's hobby in the movie 'Psycho'?

8. Marilyn Munroe was the model for which Disney Character?

9. In the film 'Gremlins' what is the true name for Gizmos race?

10. Sandra Bullock, Kris Christophensen and Bruce Willis all had what job before acting?

11. Leonard Sly became which famous actor?

12. Randolph Crane became famous as which cowboy actor?

aires de cambio

Fill It In

38

Thursday, August 14, 2014

TRELI ON THE TELLY TUMBLING TWADDLE q

with ALEX TRELINSKI Let’s start with a positive and say that BBC1’s new Saturday night gymnastic show Tumble is at least better than ITV’s dreadful (and now deceased) Splash, but then so is castration without anaes­ thetic.

This is a Poundland ver­ sion of Strictly but with floor mats and hoops, and it appears to have been creat­ ed from an identikit for bar­ gain basement Saturday televisual fodder. The for­ mula is a familiar one. You have a collection of celebri­ ties, most of which you have never heard of. There are long boring back stories where they all drone on about the difficulty of doing something they have never done before, but are of course handsomely paid for

doing it. They look useless in rehearsal, but amazingly are miles better in perform­ ance! There are four judges, who have been primed with scripted and allegedly amusing com­ ments, along with the token nasty judge who just hap­ pens to be called Craig.

Then there’s a staged dis­

pute (of course!) between Craig Heap and fellow­ judge Louis Smith, which almost got presenter Alex Jones soiling herself in the sheer excitement of it all.

The programme has to go on longer than a perform­ ance of the complete works of William Shakespeare to justify the cost, and you

have a nervous charisma­ free auto­cue bound pre­ senter who capped the evening right at the end by promising an appearance from gymnast, Beth Tweedle (Tweddle…of course). What’s the betting that there’s a scripted gag about that this Saturday night?

Actually twaddle would have been a good description of Alex Jones, who is perfectly serviceable co­presenting The One Show, but it was abundantly clear as she bumbled her way through the 90 minutes that she was not up to the job (she wasn’t good at the recent Edinburgh Castle concert coverage), and that she knew as much about gymnastics as Vinny Jones would know about ballet.

Surely her weekday co­host (and ex­gymnast) Matt Baker would have been an obvious pick for this? At least we would have had a few laughs along the way.

On the plus side, there were good production values; a great studio set­up (which is the identical one at Elstree used for Strictly); judge Nadia Comaneci bringing back memories of the Olympics in 1976 and look­ ing great; and a chance to go down memory lane by cheering on one of the best ever Blue Peter presenters,

Peter Duncan, at the splendid age of 60. There are two ways to watch Tumble. Record it and fast forward through the guff, which makes it a reason­ able view. Or have a leisurely Saturday after­ noon with some friends, and watch it through some hazy alcoholic eyes. The most informative part of Tumble was right at the very end, where the clos­ ing caption listed the names of the half­wits that put together this latest addition to the very long Saturday list of TV shame.

Only three million watched the first show (against no opposition), and I’m gig­ gling already in gleeful anticipation waiting for the low audience levels that it will plunge to this week­ end. On the plus side, we have only nine days to wait for Peter Capaldi as Doctor Who, and 16 days for Simon and Cheryl (I’m not Cole anymore) to return to The X Factor.

Friday August 15 00:35 Biker Boyz

00:20 The World's War: Forgotten

02:20 Holiday Weatherview

Soldiers of Empire

02:25 BBC News

01:20 The Great Big Romanian

07:00 Breakfast

Invasion

10:15 Neighbourhood Blues

02:10 This Is BBC Two

11:00 Homes Under the Hammer

07:15 Homes Under the Hammer

12:00 Animal Saints and Sinners

08:15 Fake Britain

12:45 Real Lives Reunited

09:00 The Big Allotment Challenge

13:15 Bargain Hunt

10:00 Live Athletics

14:00 BBC News; Weather

12:45 The Gumball Rally

14:30 BBC Regional News and

14:30 Breakaway

Weather

15:15 Cash in the Attic

14:45 Doctors

16:00 Live Equestrian

15:15 Perfection

18:00 Great Continental Railway

16:00 Escape to the Country

Journeys

16:30 The Hairy Bikers' Bakeation

18:30 Live Athletics

17:30 Flog It!

22:00 The Great British Bake Off:

18:15 Pointless

An Extra Slice

19:00 BBC News

22:30 Sweets Made Simple

19:30 Weather

23:00 Edinburgh Nights with Sue

19:30 BBC London News

Perkins

20:00 The One Show

23:30 Newsnight

20:30 BBC News; Regional News 20:30 A Question of Sport 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 Scrappers 22:00 Boomers 22:30 Outnumbered 23:00 BBC News 23:25 BBC Regional News and Weather 23:35 Room 101

00:40 01:30 04:00 04:25 05:15 06:05 07:00 09:30 10:25 11:30 13:30 14:30 14:55 15:00 16:00 16:59 17:00 18:00 19:00 19:30 20:00 20:30 21:00 21:30 22:00 23:00 23:30 23:40

Benidorm Jackpot247 Tonight ITV Nightscreen Britain's Best Bakery The Jeremy Kyle Show Good Morning Britain Lorraine The Jeremy Kyle Show This Morning The Chase ITV News and Weather ITV News Meridian Judge Rinder Secret Dealers ITV Meridian Weather Tipping Point The 21st Question ITV News Meridian ITV News and Weather Emmerdale Coronation Street The Dales Coronation Street Doc Martin ITV News at Ten and Weather ITV News Meridian Dog Day Afternoon

BOOMERS Comedy following the ups and downs of three newly retired couples living in the Norfolk resort of Thurnemouth. The gang prepares for the funeral of old friend Jean, although Alan seems more inter­ ested that her ex­husband, his old pal Mick, is fly­ ing over from Spain for the service. John is wary of the visitor, convinced he has had a thing for his wife Maureen ever since a notorious holiday in Weymouth many moons ago. Meanwhile, Joyce is preoccupied with the thought of her daughter­in­ law giving birth any day now.

00:05 Child Genius 01:05 One Born Every Minute 02:00 The Last Chance School 02:55 Dispatches 03:25 Food Unwrapped 03:50 The Great Escape: The Reckoning 04:45 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 05:40 Gordon Ramsay's Home Cooking 06:05 Deal or No Deal 07:00 Countdown 07:45 3rd Rock from the Sun 08:35 The King of Queens 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 11:00 The Big Bang Theory 12:00 Come Dine with Me 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Come Dine with Me 14:40 Four in a Bed 15:40 Countdown 16:30 Deal or No Deal 17:30 Win It Cook It 18:00 Couples Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 The Million Pound Drop 22:00 The Singer Takes It All 23:00 The Last Leg 23:50 Virtually Famous

00:00 Big Brother's Bit on the Side 01:00 SuperCasino 04:05 On the Yorkshire Buses 05:00 Wildlife SOS 05:20 Divine Designs 05:45 House Doctor 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 08:00 Pip Ahoy!

08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Little Princess 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Police Interceptors 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 My Daughter Must Live 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 Cricket 2014 21:00 On the Yorkshire Buses 22:00 Big Brother 23:45 Big Brother's Bit on the Side

39

Friday, August 15, 2014

Saturday August 16 Railway 00:05 Would I Lie to You? 00:35 EastEnders 02:30 Weather for the Week Ahead 02:35 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 11:00 Saturday Kitchen Live 12:30 Food & Drink 13:00 BBC News; Weather 13:10 Football Focus 13:50 Saturday Sportsday 14:00 Bargain Hunt 15:00 Live Athletics 17:30 Final Score 18:20 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 18:40 Pointless Celebrities 19:30 Tumble 21:00 The National Lottery: Break

03:40 This Is BBC Two 07:05 Blackbeard the Pirate 08:45 Live Athletics 11:45 Great British Railway Journeys 12:15 Animal Park 13:00 Sweets Made Simple 13:30 Paul Hollywood's Pies & Puds 14:00 Talking Pictures 14:50 The First of the Few 16:45 Flog It! 17:30 Live Athletics 18:15 Live Equestrian 20:00 Proms Extra 20:45 Dad's Army 21:15 Great War Diaries 22:15 Andrew Marr's Great Scots 23:15 QI XL

the Safe 21:50 Casualty 22:40 Mrs Brown's Boys 23:10 BBC News; Weather 23:30 Match of the Day

16/08 00:00 BBC2 00:00 Weather 00:05 The English Patient 02:40 The Fifteen Billion Pound

01:55 Jackpot247 04:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 04:40 ITV Nightscreen 07:00 Pat & Stan 07:25 Dino Dan 07:50 Canimals 08:05 Sooty 08:15 Nerds & Monsters 08:40 Mr Bean: The Animated Series 08:55 Chowder 09:25 ITV News 09:30 Weekend 10:25 The Hungry Sailors 11:25 Murder, She Wrote 12:20 ITV News and Weather 12:24 ITV Meridian Weather 12:25 Columbo: Death Hits the Jackpot 14:25 The Unforgettable 14:55 60 Minute Makeover 15:55 Smokey and the Bandit II 17:50 Mr Bean's Holiday 19:20 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 19:45 You've Been Framed!

20:45 Tipping Point: Lucky Stars 21:45 All Star Family Fortunes 22:45 Star Wars Episode V: the Empire Strikes Back 23:40 ITV News and Weather 23:54 ITV Meridian Weather 23:55 Star Wars Episode V: the Empire Strikes Back

00:40 Date Night 02:10 Derek 02:35 The Inbetweeners USA 03:00 Desperate Housewives 03:45 Revenge 04:25 The Hoarder Next Door 05:20 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 06:10 Deal or No Deal 06:35 Kirstie's Handmade Treasures 06:45 The Hoobs 07:35 Trans World Sport 08:30 The Grid 08:55 The Morning Line 09:55 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:55 Frasier 11:55 The Big Bang Theory 12:20 The Simpsons 13:25 Speed with Guy Martin 14:25 Channel 4 Racing 17:10 Come Dine with Me 19:40 Channel 4 News 20:05 Grand Designs 21:00 Iron Man 23:25 District 9

THE LAST SECRETS OF 9/11 Documentary following the work of a team from New York City's Office of the Chief Medical Examiner, who identify the victims of the September 11 attacks from the fragments of human remains found in the debris of the World Trade Centre. The film follows the team as the latest phase of DNA testing draws to a close, with the families of more than 1,100 victims left to absorb the news that there is no other way to test the out­ standing remains.

00:45 Stand by Your Man 01:25 SuperCasino 04:00 Big Brother 05:20 Divine Designs 05:45 House Doctor 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Abby's Flying Fairy School 07:25 Bubble Guppies 07:35 The Mr Men Show 07:45 Milkshake! Monkey 07:50 Chloe's Closet 08:05 Roobarb and Custard Too 08:10 Bananas in Pyjamas 08:25 Make Way for Noddy 08:40 City of Friends 08:55 Little Princess 09:05 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:25 Angelina Ballerina 09:45 Rupert Bear 10:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:15 Jelly Jamm 10:30 LazyTown 11:00 Access 11:05 Police Interceptors 12:00 Ultimate Police Interceptors 13:00 Police Interceptors 14:00 The Golden Voyage of Sinbad 16:05 Rocky V 18:05 North Sea Hijack 20:00 Cricket 2014 21:00 The Last Secrets of 9/11 21:55 5 News Weekend 22:00 TV's Nastiest Villains with Joan Collins

Sunday August 17 00:55 The Football League Show

00:00 Oranges and Sunshine

02:15 Weather for the Week Ahead

01:40 Wilbur (Wants to Kill

02:20 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast

Himself) 03:20 This Is BBC Two 06:45 Countryfile

09:35 Match of the Day

07:45 Alan Titchmarsh's Garden

11:00 Sunday Morning Live

Secrets

12:00 Wanted Down Under

08:45 Live Athletics

12:45 Helicopter Heroes Down

11:30 The Football League Show

Under 13:15 MOTD2 Extra

12:50 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites 14:20 Paul Hollywood's Pies & Puds

14:00 BBC News

14:50 Live Athletics

14:10 Weather for the Week Ahead

17:50 Flog It!

14:15 Bargain Hunt

18:30 Great Continental Railway

15:15 Best of Homes Under the

Journeys

Hammer 15:45 Eat Well for Less?

19:00 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip 20:00 Tropic of Capricorn 21:00 Dragons' Den

16:45 Escape to the Country

22:00 James May's Cars of the

17:30 The Great British Bake Off

People

18:30 Songs of Praise

23:00 The Prestige

19:05 Deadly 60 on a Mission

01:25 Jackpot247 04:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 04:40 ITV Nightscreen 07:00 Pat & Stan 07:25 Dino Dan 07:50 Canimals 08:05 Sooty 08:15 Nerds & Monsters 08:40 Mr Bean: The Animated Series 08:55 Chowder 09:25 ITV News 09:30 Weekend 10:25 May the Best House Win 11:25 Murder, She Wrote 12:20 ITV News and Weather 12:29 ITV Meridian Weather 12:30 Love Your Garden 13:30 Long Lost Family 14:30 Columbo: Identity Crisis 16:30 Midsomer Murders 18:30 Tipping Point 19:35 ITV News Meridian 19:45 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Come On Down! The Game Show Story 21:00 The Zoo 22:00 The Great War: The People's Story 23:00 ITV News and Weather 23:14 ITV Meridian Weather 23:15 Kids with Cameras: Diary of a Children's Ward

SAFE

19:35 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 20:00 Antiques Roadshow 21:00 Countryfile 22:00 The Village 23:00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 23:25 Match of the Day 2

Action thriller starring Jason Statham. Cage fighter and former elite agent Luke Wright already has a price on his head after falling foul of the Russian mafia, so things get really dangerous when he saves the life of a young maths genius who has been smuggled into the US by the Triads.

00:55 Access 01:00 SuperCasino 02:20 Utopia 04:10 Killing Spree 03:20 Homeland 05:00 House Doctor 05:25 Make It Big 05:10 Hollyoaks 06:15 Angels of Jarm 07:10 The Hoobs 06:40 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:35 Caterham UK Racing 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 08:05 Triathlon 07:15 Abby's Flying Fairy School 07:25 Bubble Guppies 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 07:35 The Mr Men Show 10:00 Frasier 07:45 Milkshake! Monkey 07:50 Chloe's Closet 10:30 Sunday Brunch 08:05 Roobarb and Custard Too 13:35 George Clarke's Amazing 08:10 Bananas in Pyjamas 08:25 Make Way for Noddy Spaces 08:40 City of Friends 14:40 The Big Bang Theory 08:50 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 16:10 The Simpsons 08:55 Little Princess 17:10 Deal or No Deal 09:10 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 18:15 Channel 4 News 09:20 Milkshake! Bop Box 18:45 Water for Elephants 09:25 Angelina Ballerina 09:40 Olly the Little White Van 21:00 The Mill 09:45 Rupert Bear 22:00 Richard III: The New Evidence 10:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 23:00 The Taking of Pelham 123 10:15 Jelly Jamm 10:30 LazyTown 11:00 Access 11:15 Highland Emergency 11:45 Police Interceptors 14:40 White Fang 16:45 James and the Giant Peach 18:15 The Hunchback of Notre Dame 20:00 5 News Weekend 20:05 Cricket 2014 21:00 World's 22:00 Safe 23:55 Crank: High Voltage 01:35 The Last Leg

40

Monday August 18 00:25 The 51st State 01:50 Weather for the Week Ahead 01:55 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Neighbourhood Blues 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Animal Saints and Sinners 12:45 Real Lives Reunited 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Perfection 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:30 The Hairy Bikers' Bakeation 17:30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 Fake Britain 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 Miranda 22:00 New Tricks 23:00 BBC News 23:25 BBC Regional News and Weather 23:35 Have I Got Old News for You 18/08 01:05 BBC2 01:05 Countryfile 02:00 Holby City 03:00 This Is BBC Two 07:05 Homes Under the Hammer 08:05 Animal Saints and Sinners 08:50 Real Lives Reunited

09:20 Fake Britain 10:05 The Stuarts 11:05 Railways of the Great War with Michael Portillo 11:35 Click 12:00 BBC News 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Fred Dibnah's Magnificent Monuments 13:30 Climbing Great Buildings 14:00 My Life in Books 14:30 Cash in the Attic 15:15 The Chef's Protege 15:45 Celebrity MasterChef 16:30 Coast 17:15 Great Continental Railway Journeys 18:15 Flog It! 19:00 Two Tribes 19:30 Eggheads 20:00 The Hairy Bikers' Asian Adventure 21:00 University Challenge 21:30 Food & Drink 22:00 Horizon 23:00 The Sarah Millican Television Programme 23:30 Newsnight

00:15 The Cube 01:15 The Store 03:00 Motorsport UK 03:50 British Superbike Championship Highlights 05:00 Britain's Best Bakery 05:50 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 The Chase 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV News Meridian 15:00 Judge Rinder 16:00 Secret Dealers 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 Gift Wrapped 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Tonight 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Long Lost Family 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV News Meridian 23:40 The Zoo

01:05 Good Morning, Vietnam 03:10 Wallis Simpson: The Secret Letters 04:05 First Time Farmers 05:05 The Million Pound Drop 06:00 Hugh's 3 Good Things: Best Bites 06:05 Deal or No Deal 07:00 Countdown 07:45 3rd Rock from the Sun 08:35 The King of Queens 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 11:00 The Big Bang Theory 12:30 Come Dine with Me 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Come Dine with Me 15:10 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 Dispatches 21:30 Food Unwrapped 22:00 Royal Marines Commando School 23:00 My Online Bride

NEW TRICKS New series. The return of the drama following the work of veteran detectives tackling unsolved cases.

Back home in Bermondsey for his youngest daugh­ ter's wedding, Gerry is visited by Ralph Paxton, an old friend recently released from prison who wants him investigate the murder of his grandson. Meanwhile, a newly divorced Sasha is forced to work with ex­hus­ band Ned Hancock, Danny puts the body language skills he has acquired on an FBI course to the test, and Gerry's daughter Caitlin gets upset when her father interrogates her fiance about his credentials.

01:40 Criminals: Caught on Camera 02:10 SuperCasino 04:10 Killing Spree 05:00 House Doctor 05:25 Make It Big 06:20 Angels of Jarm 06:40 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:55 Milkshake! Monkey 08:00 Pip Ahoy!

08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Little Princess 09:10 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Cowboy Builders 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 The Dog Rescuers 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 Imaginary Friend 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 Cricket 2014 21:00 Police Interceptors 22:00 Gotham: Exclusive Preview 22:05 Celebrity Big Brother

Tuesday August 19 00:05 Boomers 00:35 Live at the Apollo 01:20 Weather for the Week Ahead 01:25 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Neighbourhood Blues 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Animal Saints and Sinners 12:45 Real Lives Reunited 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Perfection 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:30 The Hairy Bikers: Everyday Gourmets 17:30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 Holby City 22:00 In the Club 23:00 BBC News 23:25 BBC Regional News and Weather 23:35 Scrappers 19/08 00:20 BBC2 00:20 Dragons' Den 01:20 Great War Diaries 02:20 This Is BBC Two 07:05 Homes Under the Hammer 08:05 Animal Saints and Sinners

08:50 Real Lives Reunited 09:20 Fake Britain 10:05 The Men Who Made Us Spend 11:05 Railways of the Great War with Michael Portillo 11:35 HARDtalk 12:00 BBC News 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Fred Dibnah's Magnificent Monuments 13:30 The Super League Show 14:15 The A to Z of TV Gardening 14:30 Cash in the Attic 15:15 The Chef's Protege 15:45 Celebrity MasterChef 16:30 Coast 17:15 Great Continental Railway Journeys 18:15 Flog It! 19:00 Two Tribes 19:30 Eggheads 20:00 Young Vets 21:00 Coast 22:00 Super Senses: The Secret Power of Animals 23:00 Some People with Jokes 23:30 Newsnight

00:40 All Star Family Fortunes 01:35 Jackpot247 04:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 04:40 ITV Nightscreen 05:15 Britain's Best Bakery 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 The Chase 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV News Meridian 15:00 Judge Rinder 16:00 Secret Dealers 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 Gift Wrapped 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Live UEFA Champions League 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV News Meridian 23:40 UEFA Champions League Highlights

YOUNG VETS New series. Documentary following students dur­ ing their final year at London's Royal Veterinary College as they get hands­on experience with ani­ mals for the first time ­ from conducting life­or­ death operations to bringing newborns into the world. Elly Berry must anaesthetise a kitten with breathing problems, while Charlie Tewson faces a baptism of fire when an aggressive dog enters the consulting room. Catherine Needham familiarises herself with the reproductive anatomy of a rabbit making a strange buzzing sound, and Amy Clithero deals with a critically ill Shetland pony.

00:05 Dispatches 01:00 The Shooting Gallery 01:45 Bullhead 04:00 Scandal 04:45 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 05:40 Gordon Ramsay's Home Cooking 06:05 Deal or No Deal 07:00 Countdown 07:45 3rd Rock from the Sun 08:35 The King of Queens 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 11:00 The Big Bang Theory 12:30 Come Dine with Me 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Come Dine with Me 15:10 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 Dogs: Their Secret Lives 22:00 Worst Place to Be a Pilot 23:00 Ramsay's Hotel Hell 23:55 Royal Marines Commando School

00:05 Celebrity Big Brother's Bit on the Side 01:05 Big Brother: Live from the House 02:05 SuperCasino 04:10 Under the Dome 05:00 Wildlife SOS 05:20 Divine Designs 05:45 House Doctor 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:55 Milkshake! Monkey 08:00 Pip Ahoy!

08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Little Princess 09:10 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Celebrity Big Brother 14:10 5 News Lunchtime 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 Audrey's Rain 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 Cricket 2014 21:00 The Dog Rescuers 22:00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 23:00 Celebrity Big Brother

41

Wednesday August 20 00:05 Operation Wild 01:05 Weather for the Week Ahead 01:10 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Neighbourhood Blues 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Animal Saints and Sinners 12:45 Real Lives Reunited 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Perfection 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:30 The Hairy Bikers: Everyday Gourmets 17:30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 Fake Britain 21:00 The Great British Bake Off 22:00 Operation Wild 23:00 BBC News 23:25 BBC Regional News and Weather 23:35 A Question of Sport 20/08 00:20 BBC2 00:20 Horizon 01:20 John Bishop's Australia 02:20 This Is BBC Two 07:00 Homes Under the Hammer

08:00 Animal Saints and Sinners 08:45 Real Lives Reunited 09:15 Fake Britain 10:00 Coast 11:00 Railways of the Great War with Michael Portillo 12:00 BBC News 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Fred Dibnah's Magnificent Monuments 13:30 Climbing Great Buildings 14:00 My Life in Books 14:30 Cash in the Attic 15:15 The Chef's Protege 15:45 Celebrity MasterChef 16:30 Coast 17:15 Great Continental Railway Journeys 18:15 Flog It! 19:00 Two Tribes 19:30 Eggheads 20:00 Young Vets 21:00 The Stuarts 22:00 Horizon 23:00 Some People with Jokes 23:30 Newsnight

00:40 Tales from Northumberland with Robson Green 01:10 Jackpot247 04:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 04:40 ITV Nightscreen 05:15 Britain's Best Bakery 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 The Chase 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV News Meridian 15:00 Judge Rinder 16:00 Secret Dealers 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 Gift Wrapped 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Trawlermen's Lives 22:00 Secrets from the Asylum 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV News Meridian 23:40 Dangerous Dogs

01:00 Poker 01:55 Cage Warriors 02:50 KOTV Boxing Weekly 03:15 Caterham UK Racing 03:45 Triathlon 04:40 The Grid 05:05 Trans World Sport 06:00 Deal or No Deal 06:55 Countdown 07:40 3rd Rock from the Sun 08:30 The King of Queens 08:55 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:55 Frasier 10:55 The Big Bang Theory 11:50 Come Dine with Me 12:55 Channel 4 News Summary 13:00 Come Dine with Me 14:30 Channel 4 Racing 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 Sarah Beeny's Double Your House for Half the Money 22:00 Undercover Boss 23:00 The Mimic 23:30 8 Out of 10 Cats

TRAWLERMEN'S LIVES Having competed in the Atlantic Rowing Race and crossed the Arabian Desert, adventurer Ben Fogle takes on one of his toughest challenges yet ­ sailing the unpredictable North Sea, working without rest for up to 24 hours at a time and haul­ ing thousands of fish from the water. Beginning his journey in Peterhead, Aberdeenshire, he spends time on three vessels carrying out differ­ ent methods of fishing and finds out what draws his fellow crew­members to one of the UK's most dangerous professions.

00:05 Celebrity Big Brother's Bit on the Side 01:05 Big Brother: Live from the House 02:05 SuperCasino 04:10 Wentworth Prison 05:00 Wildlife SOS 05:20 Divine Designs 05:45 House Doctor 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:55 Milkshake! Monkey 08:00 Pip Ahoy!

08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Little Princess 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Police Interceptors 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Celebrity Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 Beyond the Blackboard 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 Emergency Bikers 21:00 The Nightmare Neighbour Next Door 22:00 Celebrity Big Brother 23:00 Suspects

Thursday August 21 00:05 Room 101 ­ Extra Storage 00:50 Irresistible 02:25 Weather for the Week Ahead 02:30 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Neighbourhood Blues 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Animal Saints and Sinners 12:45 Real Lives Reunited 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Perfection 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:30 The Hairy Bikers: Everyday Gourmets 17:30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 Britain's Compulsive Shoppers 22:00 Who Do You Think You Are? 23:00 BBC News 23:25 BBC Regional News and Weather 23:35 Motorway Cops 21/08 00:20 BBC2 00:20 Super Senses: The Secret Power of Animals 01:20 Who Do You Think You Are? 02:20 This Is BBC Two

07:05 Homes Under the Hammer 08:05 Animal Saints and Sinners 08:50 Real Lives Reunited 09:20 Fake Britain 10:05 Escape to the Continent 11:05 Railways of the Great War with Michael Portillo 11:35 HARDtalk 12:00 BBC News 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Fred Dibnah's Magnificent Monuments 13:30 Climbing Great Buildings 14:00 My Life in Books 14:30 Cash in the Attic 15:15 The Chef's Protege 15:45 Celebrity MasterChef 16:30 Coast 17:15 Great Continental Railway Journeys 18:15 Flog It! 19:00 Two Tribes 19:30 Eggheads 20:00 Young Vets 21:00 Russia's Lost Princesses 22:00 The Honourable Woman 23:00 QI 23:30 Newsnight

00:40 Off the Beaten Track 01:10 Jackpot247 04:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 04:40 ITV Nightscreen 05:15 Britain's Best Bakery 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 The Chase 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV News Meridian 15:00 Judge Rinder 16:00 Secret Dealers 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 Gift Wrapped 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Tonight 21:00 Emmerdale 21:30 Harbour Lives 22:00 Kids with Cameras: Diary of a Children's Ward 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV News Meridian 23:40 Benidorm

RUSSIA'S LOST PRINCESSES On July 17, 1918, the four daughters of the last Tsar Nicholas II, along with the rest of the imperial family, were murdered in the bloody climax to the Russian Revolution. Olga, Tatiana, Maria and Anastasia were the most photographed princesses of their day, attracting the same frenzied press attention as Diana, Princess of Wales later would, but their public profile masked the reality of their strange and isolated upbringing. In the first of two programmes, interviews with leading histo­ rians, archive material and dramatic reconstruction are combined to explore the girls' childhood.

00:05 The Inbetweeners Go Global 01:10 Something from Nothing ­ the Art of Rap 03:10 Party Girl 04:50 Kirstie's Handmade Treasures 04:55 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 05:50 Deal or No Deal 07:40 3rd Rock from the Sun 08:30 The King of Queens 08:55 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:55 Frasier 10:55 The Big Bang Theory 11:50 Come Dine with Me 12:55 Channel 4 News Summary 13:00 Come Dine with Me 14:30 Channel 4 Racing 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 Location, Location, Location 22:00 Educating Yorkshire 23:00 First Time Farmers

00:00 Celebrity Big Brother's Bit on the Side 01:00 Big Brother: Live from the House 02:00 SuperCasino 04:10 Killing Spree 05:00 Wildlife SOS 05:20 Divine Designs 05:45 House Doctor 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:55 Milkshake! Monkey 08:00 Pip Ahoy!

08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Little Princess 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Emergency Bikers 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Celebrity Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 Deadly Suspicion 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 The Railway: First Great Western 21:00 Prom Queen Divas UK 22:00 Celebrity Big Brother 23:00 Suspects

42

Thursday, August 14, 2014

AUCTIONS

ACCOUNTANTS Pro Business Support – for all your accountancy needs in English; bookkeep­ ing, taxes, wage slips and more. We cater for compa­ nies and self­employed peo­ ple; we can deal with every­ thing for you. Call us on 966 923 963 for first consultation free of charge.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS

BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES Ref. DB6460L 85,000€ Restaurant in enviable loca­ tion with no local competi­

tion and regular clientele.

This profitable, established leasehold restaurant has a fully fitted modern kitchen, disabled facilities and a fresh recently painted interi­ or. directbusinessbrokers .com Tel 966 44 33 81 Ref. DB6435L 97,000€ Large successfully run leasehold Beauty Salon near Quesada. Spacious salon with 7 rooms and rental income from separate hair salon. All fitness machines, treatment beds and tables included in the sale. directbusinessbro­ kers.com Tel 966 44 33 81 Ref. DB6457L 42,000€ Excellent opportunity to pur­ chase a well established and thriving leasehold Bar/Cafeteria in a central location in Torrevieja.

Beautiful established garden and south west facing ter­ race with BBQ and all year round trade. directbusiness­ brokers.com Tel 966 44 33 81

CATERING

BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY

Ref. DB6456L 20,000€ Lively, popular leasehold Bar & Restaurant in a lovely position on La Manga over­ looking the port. Fully fitted kitchen and extensive sunny terraces. Freehold also available for purchase and flat above the premises. directbusinessbrokers.com Tel 966 44 33 81 Ref. DB6455L 150,000€ Profitable leasehold Café Bar, competitively priced for quick sale. Air conditioned interior with stylish decor and large terraces. Multiple income streams: food, drink, internet facilities, games and ice cream. Offering great potential for further growth. directbusinessbrokers.com Tel 966 44 33 81 Ref. DB6446L 74,950€ Beautifully presented lease­ hold Garden Furniture Business, recently reduced

CHURCH SERVICES in price. A successful and easy to run business with established website, signifi­ cant internet sales, cus­ tomer database and excel­ lent reputation locally. direct­ businessbrokers.com Tel 966 44 33 81 BUSINESS OPPORTUNI­ TY, two clothing shops for sale either as a pair or sep­ arate, both trading, sold fully equipped and stocked, a great opportunity for some­ one wanting their own busi­ ness, for more comprehen­ sive information contact Glen on 606926437 (164)

AUTO ENGINEERING

Torrevieja Christian Fellowship at Avenida de las Cortes Valencianas 68, Torrevieja 03183, welcome residents and visitors alike, to their friendly and lively 10.30 am. Service each Sunday morning.

During the month of August they will not be holding the Wednesday night meeting at 6.00 pm. For further infor­ mation and/or directions please telephone 966700391 or visit our web­ site on www.tcf­spain.org."

International Christian Assembly, Calle Pilar de

CARPENTER

Horadada 5, Torrevieja.

Evangelical non­denomina­ tional church. Sunday serv­ ices 11am.

Children's church 11am. House groups in Torrevieja, Los Balcones, San Javier. Ladies meeting Thursdays 11am. Craft club, Tuesdays, 2pm.

Pastor, Rafael Restrepo. All nation­ alities welcome. Call 966 799 273 or 660 127 276.

Pilar Christian Community Church Calle Canalejas 3.

Pilar de la Horadada.

Sunday Service at 11am, and Thursday at 5pm for Prayer and Praise and Worship. Home groups meet during the week. All welcome from any church background or none. For further information contact PilarChristian.CommunityC hurch@gmail.com 968575417 or 966848806.

Reg No:2009­SG/A The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (Mormons) meet at 10.00 each Sunday at their Torrevieja meetinghouse in

BARBER

CONSTRUCTION

ALARMS

CLEANERS

43

Thursday, August 14, 2014 the Torreaguas building on the corner of Rambla Juan Mateo Garcia 104, close to the windmill in Torrevieja, 667 533 597.

The rainbow centre for spiri­ tual awareness We meet in the function room at sacos bar el leiminar just of the CV 905 Rojales to torrievieja road We have a divine serv­ ice on Sundays at 11am and on Wednesdays we hold an evening of clairvoyance at 7.30 pm Also on

GARDENER

Wednesdays there is an open circle at 5.30 for those who are interested in clair­ voyance Healing is always available by certified healers after each meeting A warm welcome to friends old and new The mediums for the month of July 2014 are Wednesdays 2nd Debbie Blevins 9th Belinda & Jill 16th Trish and Shirley 23rd Sammy Fitzsimons 30th Paul & jennet. Closed until august 31st then Belinda & Sandra. Sundays 6th Paul & jennet 13th Belinda Bradley 20th ray bailey 27th Trish.

For further information call Trish on 966 844 795 or Email the rainbowcentre­ costablana@gmail.com

CARS FOR SALE Car insurance quotes – new extra discount on fully comprehensive policies at

CAR BREAKERS

the price of third party!

Excellent prices for expats, all policies and call centre staff in English. We will call you back with a quote. 966 923 963

INSURANCE CASER SEGUROS ­ for all your insurance needs, home, car, health, funeral.

Policies available in English and German.

Call Professional Business Support on 966 923 963 for a quick quote from our friendly staff.

GUITAR LESSONS Guitar lessons for beginners and improvers. Provide an insight into most styles.

From 10€ per hour. Call Peter on 966789612 or 629975378. Torrvieja

PROPERTY FOR RENT Viva Villa and Vacation Services, For Short or Long Term Rentals visit: www.vil­ laandvacation.com or Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Santiago de la Ribera 2 bed­ room townhouse close to beach and shops with com­ munal pool €350 monthly short or long term lease Call 0044 7890996330 ­ 968570645 (162) Ref: 61, A lovely two bed­ roomed ground floor apart­ ment, located in the centre of the small Spanish town of Los Montesinos, With a pleasant communal swim­ ming pool adjacent & all amenities in walking dis­ tance. Long and short term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 112, Spacious 3 bed­

room detached villa with its private pool is located on the El Raso urbanisation near Guardamar. Convenient for all amenities, shops, super­ market, restaurants and bars. Short term rental avail­ able. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

LONG TERM RENTALS WANTED! Properties, all types, in the Torrevieja area wanted for long term rentals.

Call us on 96 692 3963

2 or 3 bed / 2 bath apart­ ments in San Miguel. Lift, communal rooftop pool & solarium, video entry sys­ tem. Available for short or long term rent from 350 pcm. Tel 966723437 or 616 493 487. (184)

PROPERTY FOR SALE BPP­1808 230,000€ ­ 3 BEDROOM DETACHED HOUSE FOR SALE in LOS MONTISINOS, ALICANTE, SPAIN TEL: 966443381

UPHOLSTERY CLEANING

DRAINAGE PETS

44

Thursday, August 14, 2014

BPP1804 3 bedroom detached villa a spacious family Villa Torrevieja For Sale fully furnished 240,000€ Tel: 966 44 33 81 BPP2896 Old style spanish 4 bedroom detached Monte Zenia property reasonably priced 175,000€ Tel: 966 44 33 81 BPP2897 3 BEDROOM SEMI­DETACHED HOUSE FOR SALE Aguas Nuevas 193,000€ Tel: 966 44 33 81 BPP2898 2 BEDROOM BUNGALOW FOR SALE Aguas Nuevas 125,000€ Tel: 966 44 33 81 BPP2901 2 Bedroom apart­ ment Aguas Nuevas 73,000€ Tel: 966 44 33 81 BPP2906 Large 3 BED­ ROOM BUNGALOW FOR SALE Aguas Nuevas 135,000€ Tel: 966 44 33 81 BPP 2907 Exceptional value 2 BEDROOM APARTMENT FOR SALE €49,950 Tel: 966 44 33 81 BPP2908 Excellent location 3 BEDROOM DETACHED HOUSE FOR SALE Villamartin €269,000 Tel: 966 44 33 81 BPP2903 Huge Executive 3 BEDROOM APARTMENT FOR SALE Los Montesinos €165,000 Tel: 966 44 33 81 BPP2899 2 BEDROOM BUNGALOW FOR SALE Torrevieja 59,000€ Tel: 966 44 33 81 Ref: KP3100, €183,000.

Three bedroom, two bath­ room detached villa, located in San Luis, on a 450sqm plot, with communal pool.

Garage to side of house.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

Immaculate ground floor Duplex, 2 beds, 2 bath, Private Parking, Situated in Novamar, Gran Alacant.

Price includes very tasteful furniture and white goods.

Walking distance to all local amenities and beach. Now only 129,750 euros. Ref No K24. 627 711 155 2 Bed, 1 Bath Ground floor duplex. Central heating, Grills, Fully furnished, Glazed in Galleria, 2 com­ munal pools, private parking and walking distance to the Gran Alacant commercial centre. Situated in the popu­ lar urbanisation of Puerto Marino. Now only 96,500 euros for quick sale Ref No. K46. 627 711 155 Recently reduced 4 Bed, 3 Bath Villa, in Gran Alacant.

Quiet Location, Exceptional Views. Converted Under build, 2 Lounges, 2 Kitchens, Private Garage and being sold Fully Furnished, now only 239.950 Ref: L81 Tel. 680333242 Gran Alacant Detached villa, located in a very sought after location.Situated on a 560m2 S/W facing plot and constructed in 2005.

Comprising of 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms (2 full baths), Lounge­Diner, fully equipped Kitchen, Porch and Solarium with Alicante & Sea Views. ref.L81. €258,000 neg.

Tel. 680333242 Gran Alacant Town House with a difference.

2 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, Glazed in Porch, Quiet

PLUMBERS

POOL TABLES

Location, Extra storage areas, and South Facing Private Pool as well as 2 communal pools. Fully Furnished, All mod cons.

Greenland Views and all local amenities close by.

Ref. No L79. 179.000 euros 680 333 242 2 Bedroom, 2 Bathroom, Unfurnished Mid Terraced Townhouse in GA. Recently decorated throughout means this property is a very clean black canvass.

Has Air­Con & Security Grills and the use of a Communal Pool. Price recently reduced to 110.000e Ref.K12 Tel. 627711155 Reduced for a quick sale to 95.000 e 2 Bedroom, 1 bath­ room, Top Floor Duplex in Gran Alacant. Very Modern Property with Many extras.

Glazed in Porch, Roof Top Solarium, Wooden Flooring.

Immaculate condition and ready to move in. Ref. K15 Tel. 627711155.

Gran Alacant, Situated in the "Alto" part of Gran Alacant, this 3 bedroomed, 4th floor apartment, offers luxury accommodation, with absolutely stunning sea views, as well as views of Alicante bay and the famous Santa Barbara Castle.The apartment is 89 square

REMOVALS

meters with open plan kitchen / living room and includes all electrical appli­ ances & furniture also there is a utility room, open ter­ race, and private parking.

The urbanisation also offers many communal pools, ten­ nis courts, restaurants and bars. Ref. K20 €109,000 Tel 680333242 Viva Villa and Vacation Services are pleased to offer property sales for the Torrevieja and Oriheula areas of the Costa Blanca, Spain. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 or Visit : www.villaandvacation.com Gran Alacant villa located in a very quiet area , situated at the end of a cul­de­sac means there is no through traffic.3 bed, 3 bath, 330m2 plot, established large gar­ dens, working fireplace, solar panel for hot water,pri­ vate parking, south facing great views, fully furnished, fantastic opportunity. ref.

L85. €215,000 Tel 680333242 Beach front Line property, over looks Carabassi Beach, Gran Alacant. 2 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, Secure Underground Parking, Fully furnished, Roof Top Solarium. 3 Large Communal Pools, Fantastic communal Gardens, Tennis Courts and much more.

125.000 Euros Ref No. K23.

Tel. 627 711 155 Lovely clean detached Villa just as you enter Gran Alacant. Very central loca­ tion, 3 Bedrooms, 3 Bathrooms, Glazed in Porch, Garden Shed, Private Parking, Attractive Gardens, Private pool Ref:

K59 240.000e Tel. 627711155 Offers Invited on a mid Terraced Town house in Gran Alacant. Comprising of 3 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, Lounge Diner, Galleria, Solarium, Under build.

Communal Pool and Gardens, and with Exceptional Views of Alicante. Being Sold Fully Furnished including White Goods. Ref. K42 Tel. 627711155 (reasonable offers only) Gran Alacant, Situated on the very first urbanisation as you enter Gran Alacant, this 2nd floor duplex offers taste and quality. Comprising of 2 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, lounge­diner, independent kitchen, full roof­top solari­ um with superb views and recently glazed in porch offering extra living area as well as extra privacy as the glass is mirrored. Ref.K44 €108,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant south­facing, very private villa, with wood­ land and Alicante views.

Situated at the end of a small cul­de­sac which means this villa enjoys a very peaceful location.3 Bedrooms with fitted wardrobes, 3 Bathrooms, lounge­diner with working fireplace, fully fitted kitchen with including white goods, large front porch, solarium,workshop and stor­ age in under build, central heating, air con H/C, ceiling fans, grills, UK T.V, off road

WANTED

parking and plenty of out­ side parking also. Due to its orientation of this property enjoys full sun, all day, something very important in the winter months. Ref.K24. €237,000 Tel 680333242

QUIZZES Experienced quiz­ master/question setter with personality available to host quiz nights in local bars.

Tel:­ 664 838 581

SITUATIONS VACANT RADIO COSTA INTERNA­ TIONAL needs motivated sellers. Spanish, English and German language is a bonus but not essential.

Training and good earnings guaranteed. For more info call 644 126 600 or email info@radicocostainterna­ tional.com Situations Vacant. Top Chef Required for The Med Bistro Bar, Guardamar. Excellent package and incentives. Tel. 0044 7917 1658 65 or email: andysteve@aol.com (168)

SITUATIONS WANTED Gardening, property mainte­ nance, translations, cheap rates call David 722521654.

SOLICITORS Need English speaking solicitors in Torrevieja?

Let us help to solve your problems with debt recov­ ery, divorce, property, fraud, criminal defence. Call us on 966 923 963, give us brief details and get in touch with your specialist solicitor today

WIG SPECIALIST SALON MARGARETHAS, 23 years in Torrevieja Hair/Wig specialist for Medical illness and Hair Loss problems. We offer dif­ ferent Hair Replacements, top fillers, Hair prostheses, Toupees and Wigs, Natural and Artificial hair and much more. Also fashion/festival accessories TV/TS are wel­ come to our service. Please call our salon reception for an appointment with Margaretha on Tel no 966 921 846 Torrevieja (90)

POOLS

SURVEYOR

VAN HIRE

Thursday, August 14, 2014

Greenside Gossip

45

IVIE DAVIES takes a weekly look at the golf scene - golfdavies@gmail.com

CAN VETERAN LANGER RETURN? Whilst the European Ryder Cup captain Paul McGinley was working for Sky Sports and enjoying Rory McIlroy’s amazing second Major win of the year in the US PGA at Valhalla, there was plenty else for the genial Irishman to consider as he gets ready to put his squad together for the title defence in Gleneagles.

Stalwarts Westwood, Poulter, and Donald all showed good flashes of form, along with Jamie Donaldson, though Graeme McDowell had his words thrown back at him when he struggled on a course that he criticised as being too easy for a Major!

After Rory’s win, McGinley said he would speak to the world number one about a number of things in the build up to Gleneagles, including having a target on his back in the same way that Tiger Woods did, and we all know how disappoint­ ingly Woods has been in the Ryder Cup. McGinley has his own picks to make as well, and I’m certain that when he got the job, he would not have been con­ sidering 56 year old Bernhard Langer as a wild card. The German’s recent 13 stroke win at the Senior Open at Royal Porthcawl has even led former captain Tony Jacklin to push for his inclusion.

While one old man beating a lot of other old men for an imaginary Major should not in itself earn anyone a wild­ card, the scale of it was jolt­ ing. It would have been instructive to have seen how many of the world's top 50 could have played that

Welsh course in 18 under par, and I’d suggest very few. Langer's performance was no fluke either, with an outstanding record this sea­ son, and not just on the Champions' Tour, where he has won three tournaments and finished in the top three in five others. When he mixed it with the big boys at the Masters in April, he fin­ ished eighth.

Langer has not featured as a player on a European team since 2002 but four years ago Europe's captain Colin Montgomerie thought long and hard about picking him at Celtic Manor. When Montgomerie mentioned it, he was vilified by some people. But there is room for a 50­something in the Ryder Cup, someone who has been there and knows they can handle the situa­ tion. Langer's standard now is as good as ever as Augusta proved and his performance at Royal Porthcawl was one of the golfing performances of all time.

Langer is a Ryder Cup Methuselah having played in 10 and captained Europe to victory at Oakland Hills in 2004. The doubt would be whether, at his age, he is capable of playing five of the most intense matches in golf in three days if required. That is a valid point. Although he remains wirily athletic, it may be that McGinley has to use him as a foursomes specialist. Is that a problem? Not if he is put out with his countryman Martin Kaymer. After the Spanish Armada of Ballesteros and Olazabal, that would be more like Germanator 3: Rise of The Machines! He might well be

back!

BECALMED HANDICAPS Handicaps do not seem to be getting any lower, and so what is causing this? If players don't have a CONGU or EGA handicap then they perhaps should play to a scratch handicap until they do. If you do find someone sandbagging, then you let Societies know and not allow that person participate in an event. One possible reason handicaps have not come down is because most golfers have never had the reason for establishing a handicap explained to them therefore they do not understand why they need one in the first place. And, second, most golfers don’t want their handicap to go down as then they wouldn't get as many strokes when they play, they get a few extra strokes.... Ever heard the term.... sandbagger?? And, finally, many golfers do not play frequently enough to maintain a true handicap so never bother to establish one which goes back to my first point. Then, some Societies play a “Clobber the Winner” handicapping system.

I think we are seeing people who are taking up the game for other reasons than being a competitive golfer.

They are playing the game for the mere pleasure of playing, staying healthy, social engagement, and enjoying being outside. But surely most people want to improve even if they are a recreational player? Is it a cost issue, a lack of inter­ est, intimidation factor, or a fear of failure that keeps some of these folks away from improving their games and making it more enjoy­ able?

It would appear that there has been a shift over the years from grinding away at your game, to just playing for fun. Of course there are good dedicated players, which are very ambitious with their games. But the vast majority don't really care what handicap they have as long as they can hit the ball a bit decent to get them round the course. If this attitude remains, then the higher end of the handi­ cap will remain the same or even go up. The lower end will probably be the same.

Despite all the advances in golf technology, the longest distance in competitive golf (and to maintain a handicap should involve competitive

KNOW YOUR RULES QUESTION Can I keep playing my provisional ball, even if I find my first ball?

ANSWER NO. Once the original ball is found you are obligated under the rules to continue playing it, no matter how bad a spot it may be in when you find it. And no matter how good that pro­ visional shot was. See Rule 27­2c. Also you can't play the provisional even if you are willing to declare the original ball unplayable.

situations) is still the four and a half inches between the ears! Why should the average handicap get any better? You're always going to have new golfers coming to the game with a high handicap, bringing the aver­ age up. It’s surprising that the average is as low as 19.

For every single­digit hand­ icapper out there, you know there are three that are somewhere north of 30. As a comparison, look at the lowest scoring average on the PGA Tour. In 1980, the lowest scoring average was 69.7 by Lee Trevino. In 2012, Rory McIlroy led the tour with 68.8. Given the advances on technology and fitness training, would­ n't you think scoring at the pro level would be better than just barely one stroke?

I think it shows that scoring at both levels is pretty sta­

ble.

The point is proven over the last 30 years in that handi­ caps have stagnated, stag­ nation has occurred because golfers are taking the easy and promised route to new and better handicaps and of course the empty promises given out by the club manufactur­ ers. One of the other major factors for this dilemma in Spain, is the RFEG Spanish Golf Federation:­ if you are not a member and many golfers here are not and a lot more not renewing (this is a subject on its own), you can only have your handi­ cap amended if you play in a Federation approved competition. There are some societies that are linked closely to the Golf Club or have an agreed “Club without Campo” membership, but these are in the minority.

Those who really want to improve their handicap, usually do. There are a great number of golfers who want to keep their handi­ caps higher than their abili­ ty. Most events are played on a net basis. I have not seen many golfers say "great, my handicap went down". Many of us love the game of golf, play for the friendship and socialisation, started late in life, and don't really care too much about handicap. But because there are handicapping sys­ tems and the EGA allows for more difficult courses, it still allows you to be com­ petitive at any level. It would help if all Societies played with the same local EGA system to even the playing field.

Others play the ‘Clobber the Winner’ system to spread prize winners, so why not have differ­ ing categories? Are we excited when we get the occasional birdie, certainly…….are we gutted when we get a double or triple, absolutely. Relax and enjoy your life and enjoy your round with the correct handicap.

TITTER ON THE TEE A group of golfers are on holiday in Holland, and on a day off, they decided go on a bus trip.

As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through the process of cheese making, explaining that goat's milk is used. She showed the group a lovely pasture where many goats were grazing.

“These are the older goats put out to pasture when they no longer produce."

She then asked, "What do you do in England with your old goats?"

One of them answered, "They send us on bus tours!"

46

Thursday, August 14, 2014

REAL LOOK SHARP REAL MADRID 2 SEVILLA 0

Cristiano Ronaldo scored twice as Real Madrid claimed the first European sil­ verware of the season with Tuesday night’s UEFA Super Cup win over Sevilla in Cardiff. Ronaldo, starting alongside new recruits James Rodriguez and Toni Kroos, tapped in a cross from Cardiff­ born Gareth Bale to give Real the lead.

The Portuguese star doubled his side's advantage with a drilled shot from the left when played in by Karim Benzema.

Real Madrid manager Carlo Ancelotti said that he was more than happy with his side’s performance:­ “We’ve played well and that wasn’t easy to do, because we haven’t had much time together, but the team had a really good game.”

“With the new arrivals, we’ve increased the quality of the team. We all have more confidence, if we compare ourselves to last year. Winning the Champions League has given the team much more confidence and personality.”

Meanwhile, Gareth Bale said that it was an experience coming back to his home country with Real:­ “It has been a bit strange being with Madrid in Wales, but it has been very enjoyable. We’ve had players coming back late from the World Cup, but pre­ season is all about getting your fitness up, everyone seems to be up to the level. We’re looking sharp and looking forward to the season.”

Barcelona swooped last weekend to sign Arsenal's Belgium international defender Thomas Vermaelen on a five­ year contract. The 28­year­old and was presented to fans and media at the Nou Camp on Sunday after finalising the deal.

"Coming to Barcelona is a dream move ­ it wasn't a difficult decision at all," the centre­back said.

The Belgian joined Arsenal from Ajax for £10m in 2009 and made 150 appear­ ances.

Vermaelen said: "I feel ready to play here. I think I can offer a lot to this club.

"There's a lot of competition here but I'm very excited. It's up to me to show what I can do ­ it'll be a challenge for me."

Barcelona sporting director, Andoni Zubizarreta confirmed that Vermaelen’s transfer fee was €10 million with an addi­ tional €5 million in performance­based bonuses, plus €3.8 million if Barcelona win the Champions League with a buyout clause of €80 million.

TOM’S DREAM SWITCH CHARLIE’S CHANGE

Elche defender Charlie I'Anson has a different club to play on loan for this coming season after the financial woes of Real Murcia saw them relegated from Segunta A to Segunta B. With the ink barely dry on the one year loan, the

English player now switches to the Madrid area to play for AD Alcorcon.

Elche dumped the deal with Murcia as they will now be playing at the same level as their reserve team, Elche Illicitano.

TORRY BUILD UP CD TORREVIEJA 1 LA HOYA LORCA 2

AS TIME GOES BY ELCHE 2 RAJA CASABLANCA 1

Elche came from behind to win their only official pre­season friendly match at the Martinez Valero stadium, watched by over ten thousand spectators. In a game full of multiple substitutions, Elche appeared to lack fire power up front, with the Moroccans taking the lead shortly after the interval. Two

New manager Galiana knows his best starting line­up and with the exception of Jorge and Martin, who both had minor injuries, he sent out his likely first choice eleven against a sturdy and capable La of the new signings were then involved in Hoya Lorca in Tuesday night’s friendly at the squaring­up matters in the 66th minute, with Vicente Garcia stadium. A tight first half pro­ Enzo Roco scoring from a Fajar Faisal cor­ duced no goals, before a powerful visiting ner. Cristian Herrera got the winner 11 min­ team struck with two scrappy goals that did utes later. The big business of La Liga gets not please the Torry boss. His side replied going for Elche on Sunday August 24th, through Steve Ekedi but could not find the leveller. The previous Saturday, CD away to Barcelona.

Torrevieja beat Pinoso two­nil in another warm­up match.

Torry will now focus on getting ready to host Saguntino in their league opener at the Vicente Garcia on Sunday August 24th at 7pm. Fans are being advised by the club to go a bit earlier than normal, as it’s expected that many will be buying season tickets before the kick­off, which might cause longer than normal queues. A new look match programme will also be published on the day.

Thursday, August 14, 2014

47

BIG BROTHER LOUIS IS WATCHING YOU It is said that one key aspect of the Brian Clough/Peter Taylor management style was to know their players inside out.

It was Taylor whose eagle eye could see an idiosyncrasy, a blemish, an Achilles heel a mile off – and the manage­ ment duo would play on their man’s weak­ nesses to get to know how he ticked: gam­ bling, women, boozing – smoking in the case of the great playmaker John Robertson. Clough and Taylor – together – put two great League Championship­win­ ning teams together, firstly at Derby, then, thankfully for me personally, the great Nottingham Forest double­ European Cup­winning team of the late seventies.

Cloughie was never the same without Peter Taylor at his side spot­ ting the unspottable to most footballing eyes – an early classic case realising an ageing Dave Mackay could switch from being a midfield pow­ erhouse to a sweeper/con­ troller in an astounding move from Spurs to Derby.

But that was yesterday: is there anything new in football today? Well… maybe.

Imagine a scene in the new boss’s office at Manchester United’s Carrington training ground, talking to his new captain:­ LVG: “Look, Wayne, I’ll slow the video down. See when RVP – Robin to you ­ heads it down… by the way, did you see the way he scored that header against Spain? I taught him all that in Holland, you know… any­ way, look, see ­ you’re not in the right posi­ tion, you should have anticipated RVP’s brilliant Dutch initiative – we came third, by the way. So I’ll be watching you for that from now on, Wayne…”

out the Costa Ricans, the Dutch went through and everyone with red­United blood got excited and saluted the innovative abili­ ties of manager Louis van Gaal – which boded well for the future at Old Trafford.

At the United training ground, there have now installed numerous closed­circuit cam­ eras to follow players’ every move in train­ ing. At the peak of his career at 26, central defender Johnny Evans is acutely aware of the new innovation: ‘We have this system… where he (van Gaal) can watch us on the pitch. The manager is saying “You should be five yards to the right”. We went through a video last night and I was 10 yards out.

There are things you are doing on the pitch, and the whole team will be feeing the same, where you were thinking “Am I in the right position?”. Then the manager will show you in the video and you will know. The case before was that as long as we got the results everything was fine. That is not the way now.

The question is whether you lose instinct and that sort of thing by thinking too much but I don’t think you do. I don’t think the manager thinks you can think enough. The

WR: “Sorry boss, I’ll try. Wow, did Gary Neville show you how the video thing works? Fergie never did this­“ LVG: “Fergie is gone now, Wayne ­ so has that other Scotchishman Moyes. I am the new DUTCH boss here now – and don’t let any of the others forget it. One more thing, Wayne: don’t scratch your –what do they say in the dressing room – short and curlies ­ before you take a free kick. Ha ha, who says I haven’t a science of humour­” WR: “You mean’ sense of humour’, boss – and its ‘Scotsman’ by the way. Anyway I don’t scratch ‘em­“ LVG : “Oh, yes, you do, Wayne ­ look ­ I’ve stopped the video. Hey, they won’t grow again after the transplant, you know…”

Anyone remember back in the great Brazilian World Cup, when that Holland goalie, callous Krul came on as sub just before the penalty shoot­out? He psyched

manager said to us “You will find it hard”….

Perhaps he thinks we will find it hard mental­ ly because he is demanding and he wants us to push ourselves to the limit. That is what it feels like, we are all going to bed and sleeping well anyway. Certainly we want to be winning as soon as the Swansea game comes…’.

So: over the top, overbearing and over here, clearly van Gaal has already brought innovation, control and excitement to Old Trafford. Apparently it will be van ‘Cull’ very shortly for some whose faces, form and future don’t feature in large Louis’ land: the whispers are out for the likes of Fellaini, Young, Anderson, Nani and Zaha – and more, no doubt. The Theatre of Dreams is long on players but short on success lately and about to go through a massive meta­ morphosis. Louis van Gaal’s here now – and the times, they are a changing.

A NIGHT OF SPEED

A packed Circuito de Velocidad in Cartagena enjoyed last Saturday’s Velocity Racing event, with the pits crammed with a mixture of classic cars, the BMW Spain Fan Club, and karts!

The usual fixture offered thrills and spills, with a fair quota of pushing and shoving, and the odd bumper or two out of place, whilst the BMW club and other guest drivers took advantage of the long track being avail­ able.

The Oval Racing season continues on Saturday September 6th, gates opening at 6pm, with an entry fee of only two euros and children get in free. If you fancy having a go as racing driver, then for a limited period Velocity racing are offering hire cars for just 100 euros for the night (normally 165 Euros), and practice is included! .

For more information contact 674 256 147 or E­mail info@velocityracingspain.eu The website is www.velocityracing.eu

Thursday, August 14, 2014

48

PREMIERWEGO! IT ALL KICKS OFF THIS WEEKEND…

Reigning Champions Man City don’t seem to have improved their team much since their majestic achieve­ ment last season. Are the Blues basking too snugly and smugly in the Kompany of their seasoned international squad, trusting to see ‘em through this time? The modest­ by­their­standards £50m spend includes defender Ellaquim Mangala and striker Fernando, both from Porto plus Arsenal defender Bacary Sagna and ex­Elche and Malaga favourite, Argentinian goalkeeper Willy Caballero – is that enough?

Well, on Sunday it certainly wasn’t... Charity was Shielded at Wembley as the Arsenal blew City away, put­ ting three past poor Willy ‘n all, an ominous humbling for the champs. But before we gunner blow up the result, remember Arsene’s army usually start like this, storming out of the blocks and looking good. Worrabout last sea­ son? Aaron Ramsey scoring those early pearlers for Arsenal to lead the league for months, before the chas­ ing pack eventually caught up ‘n pushed the Gunners back to a dodgy fourth. As for stuttering City, the Blues need a serious re­think before Sunday afternoon in Newcastle.

Just down the East Lancs Road from mighty Mancunia is a contrasting primary­coloured city bristling with class, ability and will­to­win. In the red corner, Luis­less Liverpool have landed Lambert, Lallana, Lovren and more, and are looking to put last season’s nail­biting second place into Room 101. The Reds look good going forward, but their defence must tighten up: leaking 50 goals last year was just not good enough (Palace in 11th only conceded 48). But those Blue Boys over the road have great plans too. Gareth Barry has moved perma­ nently from City, Leighton Baines and Ross Barkley have both firmly committed to the cause, and saga­satisfied Belgian striker Romelu Lukaku has signed for five years.

‘Good’ison Park it certainly is for all Evertonians.

Current Capital kings are Chelsea, third last year overall, but the latest picture is confusing . Having discarded

John McGregor reports

Ashley Cole and sent Frank Lampard Stateside, only to return with mighty Man City, now Didier Drogba’s back­ but­injured and apparently Germany’s World Cup suc­ cess Andre Schurrle looks to be going. Just when it looked like Jose had it all sorted with half a new team, along came the confusing pre­season tinkering, strange statements and lavish loans lashing out everywhere. The maestro that is Mourinho just cannot afford another tro­ phy­less season. Pressure, man…

C’mon you Spurs? Everyone at White Hart Lane should be excited about this new season, as their expensive team has international class running all through it. But now the Lillywhites have a new manager with a lot of ability and positive ideas, honed highly successfully at Southampton. Mauricio Pochettino might just put Tottenham right back up there again. Watch this space…

Mauri’s old mob at St Mary’s are in a mushroom manage­ ment mess with people in charge who just do not know enough about top class Premiership football. If Saints survive, someone up there is wearing red and white stripes (hey, it worked for Sunderland, though…). It’s Europe or bust for Man United this season, see over for Gaaling news…

Talking of lucky stripes, Mark Hughes achieved a minor miracle himself, last season Sparking Stoke up to ninth; can the Potters keep that progress up? Ironically in the same miracles­are­us business is ex­Potters boss Tony Pulis, whose Crystal Palace nobody gave a prayer for after Ian Holloway bottled out early and left the Eagles in bottom place. What a fantastic turnaround, now let’s see what Pulis’s Palace can do.

Newcastle are as ridden with angst and managerial mis­ trust from the Toon Army as ever, with Alan Pardew arguably the most unpopular manager in the Prem ­ but with the longest contract. Another non­Remy­wanter (why?) Pardew has signed big striker Facundo Ferreyra from Shaktar Donetsk on loan, apparently signing due to the unrest in the Ukraine. After last year’s loss­of­ Laudrup, Swansea now look optimistic with Gary Monk in charge and international World Cup class running through his team.

Following Pardew in the unpopularity stakes is Sam Allardyce at West Ham, but the Big Man’s shoulders are

broad, of necessity – and he somehow kept the Hammers up last season when it didn’t look on at all.

Great pity, permanent sicknote Andy Carroll is out, yet again with a serious injury: the man himself must be gut­ ted.

The remake of the Great Escape last season was acted out at Sunderland with Gus Poyet starring. Just how he ‘managed’ it is hard to fathom, given the sense­chal­ lenged senior set­up at the Stadium of Light. This sea­ son will be interesting: go Gus! Who’d be a Villa supporter then? What a roller coaster again last year! Can’t see spiky old Roy Keane playing second fiddle successfully to Paul Lambert for long, can you?

Can anyone explain why last year’s 16th placed Hull City deserve to be in this season’s Europa Cup? Good luck anyway to Steve Bruce and his lads this year. West Brom just survived last time out after a monumental season, now with a rookie manager Alan Irvine in charge ­ can they survive?

Promotees? Leicester won the Championship by a Midlands mile, but the Prem is a highly­charged arena to survive in. Compared to the scores of millions banded about by the big six, then Leicester and Burnley have spent four pence and a packet of crisps and so should struggle – but who knows, this is football. As for Quickly Promotion Realised, how did Happy Harry Redknapp hoist the Hoops back up there at the first attempt? Well done, ‘Arry. Oh no, not Glen Hoddle? No lone Rangers on the Loftus Road bench, where there’s more chiefs than Indians …

OK, off we go! Here’s the runners and riders for the weekend kick­offs, all UK time: Saturday: 12.45 Man Utd v Swansea: 3.00 Leicester v Everton, QPR v Hull, Stoke v Villa, West Brom v Sunderland, West Ham v Tottenham; 5.30 Arsenal v Crystal Palace.

Sunday: Liverpool v Southampton 1.00, Newcastle v Man City 3.00.

Monday: Burnley v Chelsea 8.00 pm