Week 178

Edition 178

www.thecourier.es

Friday, July 18, 2014

DOGHOUSE DUST-UP Kennel chaos as Brit denounces MP

By ALEX TRELINSKI

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A tussle between a British woman and a Valencian Member of Parliament at an Orihuela animal shelter has ended up in court.

The alleged altercation was at the ASOKA pet centre, with a face to face showdown, with the unnamed British female accusing the politician of perforating her ear­drum. The mat­ ter is being handled by the Valencian Supreme Court, who are examing reports and witnesses from both parties, before deciding whether or not they will take the matter any further.

The newspaper, La Vanguardia, reports that the MP involved is Elisa Diaz of the Partido Popular, whose father is a former mayor of Alicante, Luis Diaz Alperi. She had trav­ elled to the shelter in Orihuela to collect some dogs and, whilst there, a British woman arrived with her daughter and two guard dogs.

Sra Díaz advised the British woman to be careful with the animals as they may cause problems if they got into contact with other rescued dogs. In fact, the guard dogs tried to fight with and attack some of the other charges at the shelter, and Sra Díaz insisted they were put into cages.

An argument broke out between the two women in front of

the expat's daughter, leading to the British woman spitting in the MP's face. The dispute became physical and the punch­ up was witnessed by four people. Three months later, the British woman filed legal action against Sra Díaz, claiming she had perforated her ear­drum during the scrap. The MP also suffered cuts and bruises, and she has provided a med­ ical report to that effect with her defence.

Given Sra Díaz's status as a Valencian Parliamentary politician, she enjoys a certain level of immunity which means any case against her goes straight to the Valencian Supreme Court, without having to pass through the lower courts. A magistrate is investigating whether the British woman, did indeed suffer a perforated eardrum during the fight or whether she already suffered from an ear injury beforehand. If Sra Díaz did in fact cause her this injury, the case will be tried as criminal proceedings under the heading of grievous bodily harm rather than civil under the tort of bat­ tery.

The MP said she was 'surprised' to hear the British woman had taken action against her, and believes that the only rea­ son she 'has gone that far' is to cash in on the incident and 'earn herself a healthy sum in compensation' at Sra Díaz's expense.

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Friday, July 18, 2014

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Picture of the Week

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Spanish Swallowtail Butterfly spotted in Ciudad Quesada. Photo by ADRIAN MALONEY

FIELD OF NIGHTMARES

A huge waste tip is causing a big stink for residents in the Las Ramblas area of the Orihuela Costa. The 20 metre high tip is in the Pilar de la Horadada council area on the edge of the Sierra Escalona park, and was used as an unofficial rubbish dump for many years. Now many people in the10 local urbanisations affected by the pungent stench have called for action, and led by the Altamira Urbanisation President, Bob Hammond, have filed a formal complaint to the environmental branch of the Guardia Civil, SEPRONA, after Orihuela Council did the same.

Residents claim that besides the dump

being illegal with the contents having rotted and the resulting gases ignited.

Mr. Hammond says that it is a serious health hazard to those living nearby and those who are on the paths of the winds which carry the probably toxic smoke considerable dis­ tances all over Orihuela Costa. The resi­ dents claim that asthma sufferers are badly affected and a worryingly high number of cases of cancer have occurred among those living near to the site, though no official link between the two is available. The site is close to fields of orange and lemon trees which the local people say could be affected by ground and air pollution.

CORVERA CHUCKLE

The prognostications, pre­ varications, and predictions over the opening date for Murcia’s new international airport at Corvera, reached a new level of hilarity, courtesy of yet another statement from Murcia's public works minister, Manuel Campos.

Less than a month ago, he boldly said that Corvera would open for business sometime this autumn between September and December, only for a week later to specify December as the earliest opening date, with San Javier running in tandem until 2016. Now, Campos has apparently pulled a new rabbit out of the hat by telling the Spanish radio station Cadena Sur, that just

because Corvera would be open in December, it doesn't mean that any planes would be flying in or out of it!

Campos' controversial comments led to ministers back­tracking with local gov­ ernment minister, José Gabriel Ruiz, saying that timetables had not changed with approval still awaited from the European Commission over the gov­ ernment's equity loan, with Ruiz adding that when the "airport opens, there will be aircraft there because that's the whole point of the airport being there".

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Friday, July 18, 2014

STUBBED OUT ON THE MEND

Tobacconists in the Murcia region can breathe a sigh of relief after a gang was arrested this week in Alicante Province in the Albatera area. The members have been accused of a string of thefts, with 23 retailers being robbed since May, with the south­eastern part of the region especial­ ly hit, including outlets in San Javier and San Pedro del Pinatar.

The National Police caught the gang on Tuesday morning, along with large quantities of tobacco, which was intended to be sold on the black market. The police said the gang would stake out each outlet, studying the location and the security systems, before making their move normally in the early hours of the morning.

OFF THE RAILS

Orihuela's Mayor, Monserrate Guillen, could be out of action for up to two months after he was rushed to hospital last Saturday night complaining of chest pains. The 57 year old was initially taken to the Chiron hospital in Torrevieja, before being transferred to Alicante General Hospital, for a double­stent operation. Experts believe that he will not be able to fulfil his civic duties for at least a month, and more likely up to eight weeks. Antonio Zapata will deputise for Guillen during his recovery period.

STREET SPRUCED UP

Train passengers are set to face misery at the end of the month with strike action scheduled for July 31st and August 1st. The unions are planning to down tools over plans to pri­ vatise Spain's rail service, which they claim could leave hun­ dreds out of a job or being forced to move house.

The strike will begin at 1.00am on Thursday, July 31st, and finish on Friday, August 1st at 11.00pm. Anybody who has already booked a ticket during those times should check with their train company to see if they will still be able to travel.

SHAKEN AND STIRRED

Good bye and good luck Gail after 5 years.

We'll all miss you!"

CORREOS CHAOS

Opposition parties in Los Montesinos have angrily demanded that the socialist Mayor, José Manuel Butron act immediately over the poor service from the town’s Post Office. Customers are fuming that the Correos office has been without electricity for over a week, which means that there are no facilities for registered letters and parcels to be sent, because the computer cannot be powered up. PP leader, Pilar Maria Paredes has slammed the Mayor for not doing anything at all over a series of complaints over the reducing quality of the Correos office in the last year, which means for the moment, people(most of whom are British), are having to travel to offices in San Miguel, Quesada, and Torrevieja. There’s a fear within the 5 thousand strong town that the problems in the local office are a prelude to it being closed down.

WE CAN REBUILD HIM

Guardamar’s High Street is to get a makeover thanks to a quarter of a million Euros grant from the Alicante Provincial Council. The pavement will be widened and extra parking spaces will also be provided in the section between Plaza Labradores and Calle San Jaime. New information boards will be installed as improving street lighting and various underground water and gas piping.

SERIOUS SMASH

A 33 year old man was seriously injured in an accident on the N332 road north of Gran Alacant on Tuesday morning.

The incident happened at around 10.30am close to the 93km point of the busy coastal route, with two cars involved in the collision. He was taken to Alicante General Hospital, whilst the other 54 year old driver was treated for minor injuries at Elche Hospital. The road was closed for two hours.

The National Police have arrested five men suspected of transporting cocaine in a James Bond­style secret compart­ ment hidden behind a car's rear license plate Police say the suspects, a Spaniard and four Colombians aged between 31 and 44, used a remote control to open and close the com­ partment.

The gang allegedly distributed cocaine in the San Javier area of Murcia, and also had a clandestine laboratory where each kilogram of the drug was adulterated to increase bulk.

The suspects were arrested after four households were searched and five kilograms of high­purity cocaine was seized.

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EYESORE MAKEOVER

A new eleven million Euro lease of life is set for a major landmark north of Gran Alacant.

Work will start before the end of 2014 to com­ pletely renovate the deserted Arenales del Sol hotel, with the two year project seeing it become a four­star resort complex. The building will have a 100 bedrooms, as well as restaurants, bars, function rooms, and spas which will be open to non­residents.

The deserted building has become something of a local eyesore over the last 30 years, and will be owned by Princesol, which is a subsidiary company of the Group Benidorm Hotels chain. The likely name for the new complex will be the Los Arenales Beach Hotel (projected look pic­ tured) with 2016 pencilled in for a grand opening.

Boffins at Alicante’s General Hospital and Elche’s University Miguel Hernández have come up with something that the Six Million Dollar Man or the Bionic Woman would have been proud of! They’ve created a robotic arm which will help the mobility of patients who have lost independent movement due to brain damage. Tests have just started with the arm linked to a brain interface that helps to move in cre­ ating movement, all thanks to robotic gear, which is linked to an exoskeletal arm.

GREENS WANT MOZZIE WAR Torrevieja’s Green Party has written to the city’s Mayor, Eduardo Dolon, to complain about the current plague of mosquitoes hitting parts of the area. Residents have had to keep their doors and windows shut during the recent heat to keep the pests out, with areas close to the Natural Park like San Luis being worst affected. The municipality spends over 90 thou­ sand Euros a year on fighting mosquitoes, and the Greens say that more should be done to counter them, including fumigation. They added that it wasn’t just a health issue, but it also showed up Torrevieja in a poor light in regard to tourism.

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BAR ROW CONTINUES

A local businessman is refusing to accept the award of the beach bar tender for the Orihuela Costa, despite the in­debt Chiringuitos del Sol retaining the franchise on the basis that they were the only applicants that the council said passed the quality threshold. It was found subsequently that they owed the council close to a million euros, some of which has been paid back. The man, Raul. Fernandez. has submitted an administrative appeal seeking to nullify the process, despite the fact that bars are now up and running, citing “blatant dis­ crimination and a clear violation of constitutional rights”.

PERVERT LOCKED UP

A Los Alcazares man has been jailed for sexual abusing his 13 year old daughter six years ago. The paedophile has also been ordered to pay her 15 thousand Euros in compen­ sation after committing the offences during the summer of 2008. The father and daughter shared a room and the trans­ gressions often happened after they had gone out for a trip or a visit to the cinema. The man has also been given a 10 year restraining order by the court in Cartagena, which also states that he cannot be within 500 metres of her.

Friday, July 18, 2014

CAR CON THINK GREEN The National Police have arrested an Alicante fraudster who conned insurance companies of 30 thousand Euros with car accidents that he faked. Authorities smelt something was up a couple of months ago when a doctor kept signing off on medical reports that feature patients of his that were involved in car crashes. Cops found that the doctor's signature was not his, and tracked down the man involved in the fraud, which also included selling insurance policies to unwitting clients who did not realise that they were worthless.

FOOT ON THE BRAKE

POWERED UP

Power cuts and outages may be a thing of the past across the Southern Costa Blanca, with a major programme of upgrades to power lines and stations planned over the next two years. Over 93 million Euros will be invested in improving the power network in Alicante Province, according to Antonio Cejalvo (pictured), the boss of Valencia's Energy Agency. He says that some of the plans include linking a new sub­ station at Torremendo to San Miguel to service more demand near the coast, and that increased demand in Torrevieja will lead to the building of a new sub­station there, which will allow the city's desalination plant to work at full capacity.

FEWER DEATHS

Road fatalities across Alicante Province and the Costa Blanca fell by 13% in 2013, compared to the 2012 statistics.

42 people lost their lives on the regions’ roads in last year as opposed to 48 in 2012. Safety groups are concerned that the downward trend in death figures may be reversed, especially with speed limit rises on Spain’s motorways.

The Guardia Civil/Trafico patrols have chopper­power in their armoury to catch out speeding motorists this summer.

It's a piece of mobile radar kit called Pegasus which has been used in helicopters with great success in various parts of Spain, and is being wheeled out further afield in a bid to trap drivers breaking the speed limit. Trafico have pointed out that speed was a factor in nearly a quarter of fatalities on Spanish roads last year.

Glass recycling is on the up throughout the Valencia gov­ ernment region, with a 4.4% rise in the number of people being environmentally conscious in 2013, compared to the previous year. Alicante Province alone, including the Costa Blanca, accounted for 35 million kilos of glass being recycled last year.

NASTY MOZZIE

A nasty strain of mosquito has arrived in Spain, causing health centres in the Valencia and Murcia regions to keep their eyes out for it. The Tiger Mosquito has popped up in Madrid and Catalonia, and car­ ries a tropical virus called chikungunya, which though not deadly, is painful. Joint pains can be suffered for months, with the Tiger having caused most problems in American and the Carribbean. The Ministry of Health has asked health centres in both regions to report any cases as chikungunya can transfer quickly, though for most people, the problems pass after ten days. It’s thought that the Tiger has come to Spain through many Spanish tourists visiting the Dominican Republic.

VALENCIA IN EURO QUIZ

Valencia region politi­ cians are to face some tough questions from the European Commission over accusations of fiddling their deficit and debt figures in regard to health spending.

It's the latest set­back for a region mired in high­profile corruption scandals, and the European mandarins will be investigating allegations that Valencia lied over deficit figures for 2011.

"The investigation will examine if the incorrect declaration was deliberate or a result of serious negligence," said the Commission in a statement. Investigators will also look at whether those false statistics distorted national deficit and debt statistics for Spain. But Brussels stressed the accuracy of the work done by Spain's national statistics office was not Over 30 bars, cafes, and restaurants are taking part in the being called into question.

Valencia's government responded by saying it was "con­ Pilar de la Horadada Tapas and Cocktail trail which finishes this Sunday (July 20th). 44 dishes and 10 cocktails are being cerned" by the news and would carry out its own investiga­ offered with a chance for customers to vote for their tion "as soon as possible". The announcement marks the first time the EU has investigated a region of a member state for favourites. providing incorrect statistics.

TASTE BUDS TICKLED

CLEANER SEGURA

SLOW JUSTICE

Courthouses in the Valencia region, including the Costa Blanca, are clogged up, and there are no signs of things getting any better.

Latest figures from the Judiciary show that around 400 new cases hit the books every day, but that there's a backlog of 345 thousand cases. Valencia's chief judge, Pedro Viguer, says that the region has one judge for every 10 thousand residents, which is half the European average, and that another 200 judges are urgently needed.

ORIHUELA FLAMENCA

SIGN OF DEATH

The Orihuela Costa is gearing itself up for a bit of tradition­ al flamenca entertainment at the height of the tourist season, with special events set to be staged at Zenia Boulevard and the Playa Flamenca Boulevard. The first ever "Flamenca Orihuela" festival will be at the Boulevard on Tuesday July 29th, followed by the next two days at Playa Flamenca.

Rojales Mayor, Antonio Perez, has called for a clean­up of the river Segura in his area, and he’s pressing for action to slash the amount of sludge that is being channelled through.

Perez wants the relevant authorities to dredge the river close to the Carlos III bridge, where a lot of the problems seem to appear.

A motorcyclist died last Saturday night when he smashed into a road sign in La Manga at around 11.15pm. The tragedy happened at the nine kilometre point of Gran Vía de La Manga del Mar Menor, and the unidentified man was unable to be revived having suffered an open skull fracture and heart attack.

Friday, July 18, 2014

WHAT PRICE FREE SPEECH? Spain has passed the new Citizen Security Law, which is a watered­down version of the original draft which included controversial measures like fines of up to 600 thousand for staging an unauthorised protest outside the Madrid parliament building.

While the scale of fines remains unchanged from the original draft — with "very serious" infractions still incur­ ring a penalty of up to 600 thousand Euros, the actual fines applied will depend on how much people are able to pay.

Importantly, people who carry out unautho­ rized demonstrations outside public build­ ings including the national parliament will not be fined unless there is a serious danger to public order. In such cases the maximum fine will be a maximum 30 thousand Euros.

Local, regional, national or provincial authorities have the right to refuse permis­ sion to hold any demonstration in public, and if this is denied and the organisers go ahead anyway, fines of between a thousand and 600 thousand Euros may be levied upon them. Opponents of the so­called 'gagging law' say it will take Spain back to the days of the dictatorship when freedom of speech was heavily censored.

Growing cannabis plants even for person­ al consumption where they can be seen in public – such as on a balcony – can lead to fines of between 1 thousand and 30 thou­ sand Euros. Bars, restaurants and other businesses can be fined up to 30,000 Euros if a customer takes drugs on their premises and they do not stop them from doing so.

Refusing to show one's identity document – which should be a passport for non­ Spanish nationals, or a DNI card for Spaniards – attracts a fine of between a thousand Euros and 30 thousand Euros. Not carrying one's passport in public is punish­ able by a fine of between 100 and a thou­ sand Euros and this is also the case for any­ one who loses his or her passport or DNI card three times or more.

Economist Pedro Sánchez, nicknamed "The Handsome One" has been elected as the new secretary general of Spain's troubled opposition Socialist Party promising to make it once again the party in power. He replaced Alfredo Pérez­Rubalcaba, who resigned and returned to his old job as science professor at Madrid's Complutense University.

Sánchez, 42, has cultivated a down­to­earth image in his late bid to turn around the Socialist Party's flagging for­ tunes ahead of elections in 2015.

"I am a rank­and­file activist. A year and a half ago I was not a politician," he said at a party debate ahead of last Sunday's vote.

"My only equipment is my Peugeot 407, in which I have driven 40,000 kilometres in the past eight months, and my allies are the road and party activists."

Among the changes Sánchez wants to make, he says the PSOE will aim to work more closely with unions, social welfare organisations at grass­roots level, pressure groups formed by ordinary civilians who are calling for jobs, homes and a financial future,

other left­wing political parties, and the world of heritage, the arts and progressive think­ ing. He wants to push for an end to diplomat­ ic immunity for politicians and heads of State and a ban on formal reprieves from criminal offences where these are for political rea­ sons.

The last opinion poll taken on July 4th puts the ruling PP of Prime Minister, Mariano Rajoy, only four per cent ahead of the PSOE.

HANDSOME PEDRO

ALL PUMPED UP Foot pumps on Santa Pola’s beaches have been causing a stench for some of the local residents. The prob­ lems seem to have hap­ pened at Playa Lisa and the Grand Playa, after pumps were moved by the council, and are now closer to homes, with the residents now complaining about the smells as well as flooding in the area. The pumps were moved after culvert work at the start of the year, and the residents who have signed a 150 name petition to the council, are worried that things are going to get even worse with the peak tourist season about to start.

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Friday, July 18, 2014

editor@thecourier.es COURIER POSTBAG: YOUR VIEWS ON OUR NEWS

Counting the cost of the Costa music clampdown I JUST read an article on local authorities closing down live music acts on the Costa Blanca.

Maybe an online petition would be a good idea.

Spain relies on tourism in the main for income, and people will obviously go to bars where there is live entertainment. If on a reg­ ular basis, this means more staff employed, more sales for the bar owner and more profit, which equates to more revenue for the authorities. This really is a no brainer.

Let's ask bar owners who have had live music closed

down, what percentage their rev­ enue has fallen by, i.e. less profit for authorities.

This issue is widespread all over the Costa, and even effects afternoon gigs.

Residents and holiday makers enjoy live music, but it would seem the only bar owners not affected are those playing tradi­ tional Spanish flamenco. This is also attended by many Brits, who enjoy this ­ me being one, However, let’s not have one rule for one, and one for another.

Also, Spanish fiestas go on to 2 and 3am, with no problems.

I live in a sleepy village, mil Palmiras, which has a row of bars. If each bar was able to offer its choice of entertainment on one day of the week, there would be no problem, The majority of people attend­ ing these venues are between 50 and 70, not lager louts, just old f***s trying to enjoy them­ selves.

This would also have a huge knock­on effect, as many more people would be going out more often.

I think the local authorities need a lesson in economics.

Spain has been and still is going through a tough patch, they need more people spending to overcome this issue, not closing venues down.

Get people into a bar, reduce the cost of a pint or a glass of wine, and you will attract more clients, If less people go out, increasing the price to try and cover your costs is just suicide Spain has the option to turn its economy round very quickly, but not this way.

PHILL SUTTON, Mil Palmiras.

LOCAL POLICE PLAYED NO PART IN CAT CULL THE Environmental Department of Guardamar del Segura would like to totally refute the allega­ tions of participation by the Local Police in the alleged brutal and inhumane beating of cats that supposedly occurred in the month of June.

Brutality of attack left us stunned I WAS shocked to learn of the brutal cull of cats at Guardamar Marina. My wife and I, along with friends, have taken an interest in the welfare of these cats for about three years, ensuring that they receive food and water on a regu­ lar basis. We were aware that other cat people were also taking an interest and had noticed that some cats had been neutered etc.

I would very much like to make contact with Gerry Brown to discuss this issue. I would appreciate your help in facilitating a communication link.

VINCENT BATES Happy to oblige ­ Ed

This Town Hall has received a complaint in the registry for these alleged events and therefore, the department has opened an investigation to clarify what happened.

As of this moment, the two plaintiffs cannot produce or name any witness.

In Guardamar, there exists, as in other localities, an overpopulation of stray cats, which has provoked popular discontent and the department has seen it nec­ essary to intervene.

For this reason, the Town Hall wants to make people aware that it is prohibited to feed these animals, a rule that appears in the Municipal Bye­Laws under the control and keeping of animals.

Under Chapter III, Section 1a, article 17, part 2 ­ to feed animals, specifically cats and pigeons can result in fines.

The Environmental Health

LETTERS AND EMAILS WILL ONLY BE CONSIDERED FOR PUBLICATION IF AN ADDRESS AND CONTACT NUMBER ARE PROVIDED AS PROOF OF LEGITIMACY THE COURIER MANAGEMENT DOES NOT NECESSARILY AGREE WITH THE VIEWS EXPRESSED ON THIS PAGE

Cats on the rocks at Guardamar... what future do they have?

Department advises that the act of feeding homeless cats in the street generates insan­ itary blackspots near rubbish containers, encouraging the emergence of fleas, ticks and other insects that can affect other animals and pets, as well as being a major public health problem.

This can generate food waste and then also create problems with cockroaches, rodents, etc. which feed off this waste.

Because of this, the Local Police in exercising its job functions, and always within the frame of the law, would

advise the company that col­ lects animals and takes charge of them, according to the Law 4/1994 of the 8th July from the Generalitat Valenciana with respect to the protection of pets.

The Environmental Health department has met with var­ ious organisations to study and undertake a project together with and consentual to form a sustainable solu­ tion.

From here we appeal to any organisation or individual who wants to submit a pro­ posal, so that, with confi­ dence, making use of two

separate communication channels, both the Facebook and the email address (both marked in the lower right cor­ ner of this notice), and encourage any witness to a situation of animal abuse to denounce, as this is the only legal way by which the Council can intervene.

Let´s make Guardamar a better place for people and the environment.

Concejalía de Medio Ambiente de Guardamar del Segura. https://www.facebook.com/ townhallguardamar Email: alcaldia@alcaldia guardamar.com

WE are a Cat Charity who normally operate in Orihuela Costa, trapping and sterilising feral cats.

Every Sunday we have a stall at the Old Rastro in Guardamar.

We were appalled by the treatment of the cats in Guardamar and would like to offer our help to Gerry Brown of Friends of Algorfa if he would like to contact us on 661077589.

The correct place to lay the denuncia is the Guardia Seprona, who are responsible for animals.

Mrs G HARROWER

Friday, July 18, 2014

HAD I been blessed with the benefit of hindsight, I'd have eyes in the back of my head.

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EYES AND LOWS: MY LOST VISION

And like any wise owl, I would never have allowed my peepers to be attacked by a laser in the belief that it would enable me to chuck my specs away.

In retrospect, it was blind stupidity to believe the hype of the 'experts' who insisted the benefits of corrective surgery out­ weighed the risk.

I had 20­20 vision until my mid­40s. In fact, my eyesight was so perfect that I could read the bottom line of an optician’s test card with my to the laser blast I invested in eyes shut. Well not exactly around seven years ago in an attempt to roll back the but you know what I mean.

Then, as I approached 50, optical years.

They might as well have Mother Nature began to pull the wool over my eyes, as rolled my eyes down a bowl­ she does with all her pupils. ing alley because when it Opthalmic experts call it comes to reading without presbyopia and the remedy specs, I am now as blind as was a pair of ready specs to the proverbial bat.

Unless, that is, the words keep the small print as clear are written on the side of a as it had always been.

The deterioration contin­ house in 10­foot high letters.

The one consolation is that ued, albeit slowly, and I didn't need prescription glasses my distance vision remains until I was well into my 50s. good enough for me to still Even then, I could get away be able to drive without with those cheap magnifying glasses.

The Ultralase surgery cost lenses from any Chinese me almost £1,500 and came bazaar.

It's only in the last 10 years with a lifetime warranty. I that major problems have have a certificate which says they'll have another go for developed.

And I put much of it down free if I'm not happy,

Well, I'm not happy – but no way am I letting another Phil Taylor impersonator chuck electronic darts at my face.

I'm not saying it's an after­ effect of the surgery, but this last couple of months, I've had to blow up text on my computer screen to 18 or 24 point just to read my emails.

I do know that I'm finished with optical visionaries tar­ geting me as a human bulls­ eye.

The experience has been more like an example of the blind leading the blind. And I'm out of sight when it comes to counting the cost.

Not to mention falling down on my R's every time I try to read the biggest letters on the optician's test card.

A site for sore eyes...I went through this and my sight is now worse

Goodbye pals, that’s foe business I RECENTLY made a new friend in the most surreal circumstances. More bizarre, even, than the way a long­time friendship ended a year ago when I was summarily dismissed by the other party.

That’ was their choice ­ but it's hard to handle when you haven’t a clue what heinous crime turned a 10­year buddy into a contemptible baddie.

The irony of the two situations is that my lovely new friend Hilary arrived via a vitriolic exchange of emails sparked by us making instant but totally wrong judgements of each other’s character.

She wrote to the Courier thinking I was trying to steal the limelight from her close friends Pat and Wally Williamson,

founders of the local weekly Parkinson’s support group (Tel: 966 710 871).

The poo hit the pan with threats of everything from denuncias to decapita­ tion before we both saw sense.

Realising that we were acting like two year olds, we agreed to meet for a coffee ­ knowing intuitively that we would hit it off in the nicest possible way. And now our lunch dates are among the most treasured events in my diary.

What a contrast to another ‘friendship’ which ended abruptly when my phone­a­ friend call triggered a fiend­has­phoned response.

I’d previously had a couple of minor run­ins with this particular couple over articles critical of Spain. At times I felt I

was walking on eggshells but that didn’t detract from what was otherwise a friend­ ship full of fun and laughter.

So the string of curses in broken English that greeted my call for a chat was as much a humiliation as a surprise.

“Donna, I don't know why you are in Spain,’’ was the theme of the conversa­ tion. "You don't belong here and we don’t want you as a friend any more.''

I put the phone down and burst into tears. The worst part of it was that I hadn't a clue what I’d done wrong.

I still can’t answer that question but the experience made me realise that my relationship with these particular friends was doomed to end this way.

Genuine friends talk their way through

problem situations; they stay calm, talk things out and don’t destroy relation­ ships that took years to build.

I would never deliberately upset any friend, though the nature of writing a weekly newspaper column inevitably throws up contentious situations from time to time.

I hate falling out with anybody and for­ tunately that rarely happens. Ironically, the only previous spat I can remember involved the same ex­friends, so perhaps a parting of the ways was inevitable.

I shed tears over that fall­out, too ­ but there will be no third time.

I’d rather save my back the strain of picking up those eggshells...

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Friday, July 18, 2014

Friday, July 18, 2014

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Friday, July 18, 2014

HANDLE ME WITH CARE

The lights dimmed, the MGM lion roared and Miklos Rozsa's stirring music swirled around the film's opening credit titles.

It was a half­term holiday afternoon many, many (yes, that many) years ago. My best pal, Eric the future den­ tist, and I leaned forward excitedly in our front stalls seats as the picture started.

The movie was Knights of the Round Table and, apart from the yucky love bits, it was the most spectacular thing I'd seen since my grandma tripped and fell into the custard tart rack at the baker's.

All too soon the film was over. 'What now, varlet?' I asked Eric as we jumped up from our tired old cinema seats which squeaked in protest as they slowly assumed their upright posi­ tions.

'I know,' I answered my own question. 'Let's go back to your house and play Knights of the Round Table.'

Eric the future dentist shook his head. 'That's no

good. We've got an oval table.' I stared at him quizzi­ cally. 'What does oval mean?' I asked. 'It's a shape,' explained Eric who was always more clever than what I am.

'Well, who needs a table anyway,' I said, fully aware that while we did possess a round table, it was in no great shape since grandma tripped and fell onto it, snapping a leg (not hers, the table's).

'I'll tell you what we'll do,' I said to Eric. 'We'll go back to my house but bags me being Sir Lancelot. And don't break anything or my mother will go mental.'

But our luck was in. Mother was out. Our imagination fired by what we had seen at the local fleapit, we went about our game with a fer­ vour that was destined to end in disaster. Eric the future dentist went absolutely over the top in his role as the evil Mordred.

Grasping his broadsword (Mother's rolling pin) in both hands, he cried 'Die, knave!' and brought the weapon

crashing down on my bonce.

That I didn't die was due solely to Mother's saucepan which was perched on my head in the absence of armour.

But the consequences of Eric's over­enthusiastic act were immediately apparent.

The saucepan had jammed firmly on my cranium. 'It's a good job Mother isn't here,' I observed, trying in vain to extricate myself from the pan's unyielding grip. At which point Mother came home.

I heard Eric the future den­ tist skedaddle out the back door. Only heard because I couldn't see a darned thing, so low was the pan forced down on my head.

Mother weighed up my predicament and snapped: 'You, hospital! But first I'll have to wash your knees. I can't have the doctor seeing you in such a filthy state.'

Mother dragged me towards the kitchen sink.

Unfortunately, as I turned my head to get my bearings, the handle of my newly­acquired

headgear raked the under­ side of the cupboard, send­ ing Mother's six best china cups ­­ which had hitherto been hanging securely from their hooks ­­ crashing to their deaths on the lino.

I turned my head towards her to apologise ­­ and the pan handle went straight through the glass door of the cupboard, skew­ ering the pot pig i n which Mother kept her change for the launderette.

I heard Mother's feet crunching over bro­ ken china and glass as she went to fetch my best blazer for the trip to the hospi­ tal.

The infirmary was only a mile away so we walked. I, of course, still couldn't see anything so Mother had to guide me

along the cobbled streets of terraced houses.

'Take a left!' she com­ manded, grabbing the pan handle and pulling me around in an anti­clockwise arc. 'Now a right! ­­ pulling the handle in the opposite direction.

'Why do you keep putting your hand to your head, our David?'

Mother asked.

'There's no chance of

the saucepan falling off, you know.' I sighed into the metallic darkness. 'It's my school cap, Mam. It keeps sliding around on top of the pan.'

'But you have to look respectable when we're out,' she insisted. We walked on.

Then Mother rapped on the pan with her knuckles. 'Stop!

We're here,' she informed me.

The casualty doctor held his stethoscope to the saucepan and scratched his head. 'This needs the atten­ tion of a specialist,' he said.

Mother gasped in trepida­ tion: 'You mean a top consultant?' 'Nah,' said the medic. 'The fire brigade.'

Minutes later, we were back out on the streets. 'Take a right! Stop! Now take a left!' said Mother as she guid­ ed me towards the fire sta­ tion.

Ah, well, all that happened a long time ago. But the memory remains. Since that day I have never watched a movie filmed in Panavision.

Friday, July 18, 2014

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Friday, July 18, 2014

GET ON THE DOG’S WAVELENGTH I was watching The Dog Rescuers on TV, the other night, which is a show that follows the work of the RSPCA. Regular readers of this column will know that I am no fan of them!

With the huge amount of money that pours into the RSPCA on a daily basis, I believe they could be doing a lot more than what they do. There was an article in The Mail On Sunday, where they stated that the RSPCA put to sleep half of the dogs they rescue and this happens while their chief executive earns 105 thousand pounds per year!

Going back to the TV series, they should also be training their staff, who seem to have no basic knowledge of dog behaviour at all. There was a terrified dog, who they were trying to rescue and when the employee finally caught the dog with one of those catch poles, she then bundled it into the back of the van and went on to say, “I have to be domi­ nant over the dog, or the dog will dominate me”. I could not believe what I had just heard. What an absolute load of rub­ bish! Why do you have to dominate a dog? Well the answer is you don’t. If they knew just a tiny bit about real dog behav­ iour, they would then know the complete damage they are doing. You do not have to do dominate any dog, let alone one that has been through years of abuse and is terrified. I rescue similar dogs all the time and I do it with love, compas­ sion and most importantly, empathy.

I am a strong believer that words are very important. I have always picked up on every word in a sentence when people talk to me. On another episode, another RSPCA employee said, after rescuing some puppies, “We will be able to get rid of these, no problem”. I hate the phrase, “get rid of”. I always have done. It makes it sound like you are throwing away a piece of rubbish. Why did he not say, “We will be able to re­home these puppies, no problem?” You would not believe the amount of people who call me and say that if I cannot help their dog, they will have to get rid of

DO YOU KNOW MY LANGUAGE? them. As soon as they say that sentence, I realise they have a complete lack of empathy. How would these same people feel, if they heard someone say that they would like to get rid of them?

I have also heard on the TV series, RSPCA staff mention that they were about to get bitten by a dog, if they did not take a certain action. Again this is complete nonsense. On each occasion, the dog’s body language was saying that they were not going to bite at all, but they were very scared.

If you are going to work with dogs, you must honour them and LEARN their language. Because if you don’t, then you are going to do a lot more damage than help. A dog’s bark can also tell you their intentions. A dog will do a certain very fast and loud bark when they are feeling insecure. All of the dogs on the show have been barking in this way, yet no member of staff have realised or said that the dog is inse­ cure. In many cases if you are going to get bitten by a dog, there is no barking, just silence and a stare.

I appreciate that there are some very good RSPCA employee’s on ground level who are doing a good job and the best they can, but the hierarchy could be putting a lot more things in place to make sure that their staff are more knowledgable on animal behaviour, especially if you are going to be on TV for the nation to see your actions. When a dog first meets you they want to know your scent and your energy. They also want to know one more thing, which is, do you know their language. The Spanish believe and correctly so, that we are ignorant if we do not speak their language in their country and a dog thinks exactly the same. www.thedogyouneed.com is a registered charity, where we rehabilitate the most severely abused animals. Our char­ ity registration number is 1157175. If you would be kind enough to donate anything to this special cause you can do

by Paypal, where the account details are peter@thedogy­ ouneed.com or to our Nat West charity account, where the sort code is 60­16­03 and the account number is 73754900.

Even one euro will help, so please, please, try and support us.

Thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

PETS’ CORNER: CAN YOU TAKE IN A HOMELESS DOG OR CAT? Due to an unforeseen chan­ ge in circumstances we can no longer bring Amelie with us overseas so she needs a new home as of mid/late July.

She is a cheeky cat who looks after herself well and is very low maintenance.

She has grown up with 2 babies in the house and is very comfortable around young children! She 6 years old, is up to date with her vaccinations, and has a pet passport. She is fully house trained, and has short fluff, so she doesn't leave it everywhere! If you have a place in your family for Amelie, or know someone who does, please call or text Chris at 608 121 282.

SCOOBY is a 10 month old Black Labrador crossbreed who was seen being thrown out of a car 6 weeks ago. He is a lovely boy, gentle, atten­ tive and with so many of the characteristics of the

Scooby Labrador breed that we hope to find him the perfect home that he so deserves with an owner who truly cares for his wellbeing. He is now blood tested, fully vac­ cinated, micro chipped and castrated. If you think you would like Scooby’s love and devotion please contact the kennels directly on 966 710 047 or email info@sata­ nimalrescue.com Dotty is around 1 year old and was found near Quesada tied up to a lamp­ post in the blazing heat. She has no chip but is in good health and weighs around 6 kilos so is quite small and is good with dogs and cats.

Call: 645 469 253. www.pet­ sinspain.com

Lucky is approx 15 weeks old and was found looking for food in Almoradi market.

The stall holders were kic­ king Lucky away but thank­ fully one of our fosterers was there and picked him up. He is now in a foster home and is good with other dogs and cats. Call: 645 469 253. www.petsinspain.com

Lucky This is Poppy who is 6 months old Breton Spaniel / Podenco mix .She is pass­ ported and has all all her vaccinations up to date, housetrained and does not chew . Loves playing and is good off the lead Her owners are having to work away and that is why she came to us. If you could adopt Poppy please contact

Poppy

Dotty

us, Last Hope Dog Rescue, lasthopedogrescue@outlo­ ok.com.or telephone us 63405540.

Forest was seen hidden in the Hondon Nature Reserve by a cyclist who befriended him so much so that Forest followed him home, 12km.

Once at home Forest was taken to a vet and was trea­ ted for parasites and given the all clear. K9 were asked to help find a home. Forest is under a year old about 11 months , he is very friendly and affectionate to all he meets. Forest would be ideal in a home with children as he has a very soft nature.

If you would like to offer Forest a home then call 673751012 Please contact K9 or PHONE 600 84 54 20 for more info www.k9club.es

Forest Cleo was found abandoned in a small town. She is now happily in foster care in a loving household with various other dogs, pups and cats. Cleo is a happy playful pup that settled in her foster home straighta­

way. She has no malice in her and is intelligent and quick to learn. She’s affec­ tionate towards people and for such a young pup is very obedient.

To find out more about Cleo please ring the PEPA helpli­ ne on 650 304 746 or email p.e.p.a.animalcharity@gmai l.com

Cleo

Spice Born in May 2012, Spice and Drake are two small tabby brothers who were rescued by APAH when they were tiny kittens. They are both lovely, friendly boys who are desperate for their first loving home. To meet them, please contact Yvonne on 630 422 563.

Friday, July 18, 2014

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Friday, July 18, 2014

MANY HAPPY RETURNS

That´s another year that’s been and gone!

How quickly time flies when life is busy and days are spent working and enjoying this beautiful country, where the days turn into months and before we know it, another year has passed.

I imagine you may be wondering what I´m talking about? Some of you may think I´ve lost my mind, after all, surely this is some­ thing that we talk about in January, when a new year is starting and we reminisce and look forward to what the next 365 days will bring. However, I haven´t gone a bit crazy.

The sun hasn´t got to me just yet, as what I´m referring to is the beginning of July and the time of year when my little man gets one year older.

This year. I spent the day before his birth­ day with a friend and we had a Chinese take­ away, which took me back to that night seven years previously when, not knowing I was in the beginnings of labour, I went to a Chinese restaurant with my son´s dad and a friend of ours. Whilst in there, I began to feel the twinges however as it was a week before my due date I dismissed them as false contrac­ tions and tried to enjoy my meal. It was only when I reached home that my waters broke and I realised that this was it, and the time had come!

So there I was, seven years later enjoying my Chinese food with my son and friend, safe in the knowledge that noth­ ing was going to interrupt this evening, and then sending my little fella off to bed ready to wake up full of energy for his special day. He had already had his party for his school

friends a few days before so his actual birthday was a quiet affair, with a few friends coming over for a barbeque, two of which that live in England that I hadn´t seen for a while, with one who has friends for my boy to play with and of course, Racheal and her husband, Ali. I had decided that I didn´t want a garden full of people this year. It wasn´t my birthday after all and the most important thing was that my fella had

his friends to play with. He had a fun time and went to bed at the end of his day one year older and looking forward to being eight!

As I watch my boy grow up I can´t help feeling that I, too am getting older. It´s slight­ ly different with my girls. OK, the oldest is nearly 16 but I was in my mid 20´s when I had her, so I don´t feel old when I think about her, or my 12 year old, as I had her in my early 30´s, but it´s different with my son.

I was in my mid 30´s when I had him and now I´m in my early 40´s, I feel the age more. I feel torn between wanting to see my son grow, get a job, meet a partner and have a family and not wanting to actually get older myself! A kind of impossible dream, or is it? OK so I can´t stop Old Father Time from moving on and I can´t stop having birthdays. but can I stop myself from actual­ ly getting old for as long as possible? If I keep myself fit, eat healthily and look after myself, I can at least try and be here for as long as possible in the best health I can.

There are some things out of my control of course but the odds can be stacked in my favour by doing a few small things like being active. Then maybe, just maybe I´ll be around to not only see my son and daughters blossom into adults and make their ways in this world but I´ll also be able to enjoy their ride, almost as much as I enjoyed my own. One thing´s for sure:­ my life has been one of ups and downs but never could it be called boring, and I hope my children can follow my example and live, not merely survive.

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Friday, July 18, 2014

POPE’S PAEDO PLEDGE As a good clean­living Catholic boy, I took an instant liking to Pope Francis, who has hit the ground­running since he took over from the lacklus­ tre Pope Benedict in March last year.

His communication skills

(one of the most important parts of the job) are on the money, and he’s been pre­ pared to get his hands and habit dirty by trying to clear up the untouched mess that the church has run away from for decades. He’s vowed to confront the whole

issue of paedophile priests with “the severity that it deserves”, adding that “like Jesus, I will use a stick against paedophile priests”.

He’s also hinted at the pos­ sibility of allowing priests to marry, which already hap­ pens in the Eastern Catholic

Church.

As always, actions speak louder than words, and the Holy Father has already strengthened the Vatican’s laws against child abuse.

But how much further will he go in practical terms?

There’s a whole set of

extremely serious allega­ tions against senior officials who have been accused of covering a range of scan­ dals. And the worldwide problem is immense with the Pope confirming that at least two per cent of the clergy are involved in terrible behaviour, which is as a fig­ ure would mean around eight thousand men of the cloth.

In a clever move, the Pope has hired ex­BBC chairman, and former Tory politician as well as the last governor of Hong Kong, Chris Patten to chair a Vatican committee running media strategy. Part of his work will be to advise the Pontiff on the ever­increas­ ing digital media age, but clearly the matters of pae­ dophilia and how to handle it will come up. The strange irony is that Patten was the BBC chairman at the time of the Jimmy Savile scandal, and much as I’m a fan of his, I thought he came over as a blustering buffoon who was

not sure of his facts, and also sold the short­lived BBC DG, George Entwhistle, down the river.

Patten’s hitherto­excellent reputation took quite hit over that, and so I hope he returns to his very best in an important role, which I believe has far higher stakes.

SEPA. MEANS SAFE AND EFFICIENT PAYMENTS IN SPAIN. What is SEPA? The Single Euro Payments Area (SEPA) is making euro payments faster, safer and more efficient within the 34 EU countries. It enables customers to make cashless euro pay­ ments to anyone within the EU. What are the ways to pay using SEPA? 1. SEPA credit transfer A single way to transfer funds nationally or anywhere within the EU. 2. SEPA direct debit Now charges can be made directly to an account in one EU country for services provided by a company based in another country.

3. SEPA for cards Customers can conveniently use the same cards they use for national purchases, any­ where in Europe. Merchants will accept all cards, making payment processes easier and more attractive.

SEPA standards required for full introduction 1. IBAN IBAN is the International Bank Account Number that identifies your account anywhere in the world. With a maximum of 34 digits it includes the following in order: 2 digits country code 2 digits check digit 30 digits (max) account identification specific to each country UK IBAN example: GB19 LOYD 3096 1700 7099 43 2. BIC BIC (Bank Identifier Code) numbers will be phased out for cross­border payments by February 2016.

3. PAYMENT CARDS All payment cards will be migrated from magnetic strip to EMV chip. There is currently no date for completion.

Timeline for the SEPA process The process began in 1999 and is now in the final migration phase.

February 2014: Credit transfers and direct debits in the EU should be carried out in accor­ dance with the standards mentioned above. A six month transition period is being intro­ duced.

February 2016: For niche products with specific characteristics a longer transition phase is made for in some countries.

31 October 2016: EU member states with non­euro currencies must adhere to standards set for credit transfers and direct debits in euros, by this end date.

SEPA indicators. Key facts at a glance.

SEPA credit transfers as a % of total EU transactions is 93.9%* SEPA direct debit as a % of total transactions is 80.3%* EMV transactions as a % of total transactions is 79.6%** *February 2014­03­21 **June 2013 We hope this information provided in this article is of interest.

If you would like to contact Linea Directa please call 902 123 104 More information on Linea Directa online at www.lineadirecta.com

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Friday, July 18, 2014

LABOUR’S CHEAP SHOTS

REGULAR readers of my column will know that what really gets my goat is opportunist politicians try­ ing to score cheap points.

And with so much in Britain having gone the way of the Coalition gov­ ernment of late, Labour is doing its utmost to grasp at any straw to bash the government.

The latest is the revelation that on average two children aged 11 or under are being rushed to A&E every week because of excessive alcohol consumption. A total of 2,084 under­15s ­ more than five per day ­ were seen in emer­ gency units and 7,892 under­ 18s were treated. And who is to blame for all this? Not the kids themselves, not the par­ ents, probably mostly from council estates who let their kids run wild and do not exer­ cise any parental control (and who probably mostly vote Labour). Oh no.

According to Labour health spokesman, Jamie Reed, it´s all the government´s fault for not restricting or stopping the advertising and availability of cheap alcohol.

The only thing that´s cheap about this is Labour´s cheap attempt to grab votes by any means imaginable.

Firstly, alcohol is much cheaper in Spain than the UK, but do we find Spanish teenagers running amok fuelled by drink? I don´t think so. You´re more likely to see British teenagers on holiday (and not just teenagers either) the worse for drink and sadly, mostly because they haven´t been brought up properly and have not been taught when enough is enough. And wait a minute, wasn´t it Labour which lifted the licensing restrictions to allow licensed premises to stay open much longer?

Bloody hypocrites one and all.

LABOUR´S second attempt to grab the

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headlines and bash the gov­ ernment came over the Post Office privatisation. They have again accused the gov­ ernment of pitching the share price too low and not getting as much money as they could have. Isn´t hindsight a wonderful thing? The govern­ ment took the best advice at the time. But the sale came just at the moment the econ­ omy turned in the UK´s favour. Investors, faced with a next to nothing return on cash investments, turned to the stock market. They poured money into shares, which boomed, just as the privatisation shares were offered. The result was that the price rose sharply.

They have gone well off the boil more recently. Just imagine the howls of indigna­ tion if the privatisation had been a flop because the price had been pitched too high? And wait a minute, wasn´t it Labour who suc­ cessfully offered our gold reserves to the market when the price was ridiculously low and lost the country a for­ tune? Bloody hypocrites one and all.

HEALTH and Safety Britain is wrapping chil­ dren in cotton wool more than ever before. New statis­ tics reveal that more than half of 7­12­year­olds spend less than an hour outside a day, and a quarter spend less than 30 minutes playing out­

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side. Their parents spent an average of two hours, 34 minutes outside a day and their grandparents recalled spending more than three hours a day in outside play.

The lure of the television and electronic games, fewer parks, woods and open spaces near homes, increased traffic and parent’s obsessional fear of pae­ dophiles are all to blame. As a result, kids' sheltered lifestyles make them more vulnerable to illnesses and problems related to lack of exercise and obesity. The lat­ est bit of nonsense I heard was last week when a school sports day had to be can­ celled because the grass was wet. What´s wrong ­ frightened of being sued if diddykins falls over? While the health and safety brigade has encouraged the use of cotton wool like never before in the UK, it´s not happening in Spain, if the Pamplona bull­run is anything to go by.

The health and safety police have not managed to curtail it, regardless of the never­ ending deaths and injuries the event brings. This year a Brit is in hospital after being seriously trampled in the "great run". Tom Hadfield had travelled to Spain with friends to take part in the

world­famous bull run ­ where thousands of people make a frantic run through the narrow streets alongside the animals. He said: "I did it last year and it was the best feeling in the world. This year, I guess I just pushed my luck. I have broken four ribs, two of which have punc­ tured my right lung." A Japanese man and a Spanish national were also injured. Dozens of people are injured each year in the runs, most of them in falls along the 850­metre course from a holding pen to Pamplona's bull ring. Fifteen people have died from gor­ ings since record­keeping began in 1924. At this year's festival opening, one person was gored and three were hospitalised. The six bulls used in each run are killed in afternoon bullfights in the ring. The event attracts thrill seekers from around the globe to run down the street Calle Santo Domingo each morning after a rocket is fired to mark the church clock striking 8am. The animals are en­route to the bullring where they face being slayed in a series of bloody bull­ fights. The tradition of the run began because the enclo­ sure they are kept in is 900 yards away from the ring itself, so the bulls need to be shepherded through the streets. Can you imagine such an event happening in Britain? The RSPCA would have a pink fit, lawyers would have a field day and as for the health and safety police?

Well they would all be on triple bonus! Why people want to deliberately put themselves in danger beats me. I can well do without any adrenaline rush. As for bull­ fighting in general, I believe it is on the way out in Spain ­ thank goodness. It´s a blood­

thirsty sport and has no place in modern society. It may have been an acceptable spectacle in ages past, the same as gladiatorial fights and throwing Christians to the lions was the done thing.

Bullfighting is something which should be consigned to the past ­ mankind should look forward to a less cruel and bloodthirsty future.

THE Church of England is guilty of promoting anguish and pain ­ the very opposite of a Christian mes­ sage of hope. No, not my words (although they could well have been) but no less than the former Archbishop of Canterbury, George Carey. And good for him. He has blown wide open the debate over the right of a person to die. He has dropped his long­standing opposition to the legislation of assisted dying. He now believes it would not be "anti­ Christian to change the law to help those who want to end their lives. What’s sad is that he did not change his attitude sooner ­ when he was Archbishop, because he could then have led the move from a position of power.

However, his support even now may bring forward the day when legislation is passed legalising assisted dying for the terminally ill in England and Wales. A day later Archbishop Tutu of South Africa also came out in favour of assisted dying.

Sadly, the Church is still opposed to such a move, and the former Archbishop´s stance is splitting the church wide open. Under the bill, mentally­capable adults with less than six months to live would be able to request help to end their lives. Any change in the law has always been implacably opposed by Church of England bishops sitting in the Lords, who have argued it threatens the sanc­ tity of life. People who think it acceptable to see people

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suffer in the last stages of life disgusts me. The very same people say they would not like to see an animal suffer and would have it sent to a vet to be put down. So why is there a different argument when it comes to people? I know that these days people who are dying are cared for lovingly and pain free in hos­ pices, but there are still some who are not. My life is mine and I or my maker decides when to end it ­ not a politi­ cian, lawyer, judge or clergy­ man. And it´s about time the law was changed to allow it, provided all necessary safe­ guards are in place to pre­ vent relatives and any others putting pressure on anyone.

I had to have a little chuckle to myself when I read a news item that the UK is becoming increasingly frustrated about foreign cars on UK roads not contributing to UK road tax. It´s estimated that there are at least 15,000 foreign registered cars in the UK which should be re­regis­ tered and are resulting in the UK missing out on millions in road tax. Why is Britain so far behind on this? Spain issued so many dire warnings about huge fines on ex­pats not re­ registering if in Spain more than half a year and it brought in loads of extra rev­ enue for Spain.

OUR Westie has a deli­ cate digestive system and any slight change of diet results in extreme flatulence.

Not nice to contend with ­ especially if we´ve got com­ pany and have to offer pro­ fuse apologies. But I now look on the horrible smells in a different light. Scientists have discovered there may be a link between the loss of ability to smell with the onset of Alzheimer´s. So, all the time we can smell the dog´s pongs we know our brains are functioning properly.

Remember the saying...under every cloud there is a silver lining?

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Friday, July 18, 2014

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Friday, July 18, 2014

SAY IT IN SPANISH Learn the lingo - with a little help from JEANETTE ERATH Spanish 131 Welcome again to another week with me learning the intri­ cacies of the Spanish language, I hope you´re enjoying the sunshine in this fantastic country, so let´s get right on in with it, remember this is all up to you, you get out what you put in, so don´t lose it, use it.

This week we are going to talk about something that con­ fuses a lot of learners of Spanish, and that is when to use the word ´se´. I´m not talking about the Spanish word sé which, with the accent I am sure you all know is the 1st person sin­ gular conjugation of the verb saber therefore ´sé´ means ´I know´.

So, what about se and when do we use it?

In most cases there is no easy way to translate it in to English which makes it so difficult for us to put it into context.

Se is used lots of different ways and usually doesn´t really mean anything but has to be added to phrases to make sense and when used can change the meaning of the whole sentence. It is always good practice to listen to native speak­ ers but when we are talking about topics such as this it is extra important.

Here, however are a few examples of when to use ´se´ explained as simply as I can.

The most common use of ´se´ is when we are using reflex­ ive verbs with Él, Ella, Usted and Ustedes. E.g. Él se afeita por la mañana – he shaves in the morning, ¿Ustedes se divirtieron en la fiesta? – Did you have a good time at the party? ´Se´ can also be used to express something that two dif­ ferent parties do to each other: Ellos se ven casi todos los días – they see each other almost every day.

It is also used when in English we used to say ´one´ although more familiarly now we use ´you´ e.g. Se habla Español aquí – Spanish spoken here / One speaks Spanish here, se puede levantar con una mano – it can be raised with one hand, ¿cómo se dice ´bag´ en Español? How does one / do you say ´bag´ in Spanish. Se dice que este barrio es bastante peligroso – They say / It is said that this

Rompí el vaso neighbourhood is quite dangerous, se venden casas aquí – Houses are sold here. ´Se´ can also be used as a pronoun instead of ´a él´, ´a ella´, ´a ellos´ or ´a ellas´: Se lo doy – I give it to him/her/them, we can also expand it to be more specific with: se lo doy a él/ella/ellos/ellas – I give it to him/her/them, se lo mandé a ella por correo – I sent it to her by mail. ¿vas a prestar la mesa a Jose? Sí, se la voy a prestar­ are you going to lend the table to Jose? Yes, I´m going to lend it to him.

The last example of using ´se´ is often the most difficult for English speakers to understand but it is very common in spo­ ken Spanish and so is worth taking the time and effort to be clear on it. The example is when something happens sud­ denly, involuntarily and unexpectedly. The best way to explain is with an example, the translation into English is the same however the meaning changes when ´se´ is added: Me olvidé su nombre – I forgot his name Se me olvidó su nombre I forgot his name The first sentence is a general way of saying I forgot his name. Perhaps you forgot it a while back but are just saying it now or maybe you forgot his name because it just wasn’t important to you. The second sentence is very much like say­ ing ‘His name slipped my mind’. I forgot his name suddenly and unexpectedly and it definitely wasn’t intentional. Notice

how the conjugation of ‘olvidar’ now agrees with ‘su nom­ bre’ and not with ‘Yo’ as in ‘Yo me olvidé’. Here´s another example to try and make it a bit clearer: Rompí el vaso – I broke the glass Se me rompió el vaso – I broke the glass The first sentence is very general. I broke the glass but it could have been an accident or that I just flung it against the wall. Not very specific. Note that in this case ‘romper’ agrees with ‘yo’. The second sentence indicates that it was an acci­ dent and that it happened unexpectedly. Probably it just slipped out of my hand or something like that. Note that ‘romper’ now agrees with ‘el vaso’. That is to say the 1st person singular preterite (past tense) of romper is yo rompí whereas the 3rd person singular preterite (past tense) of romper is él / ella rompío. If you´re not sure what I mean think about this, in the first sentence without ´se´ we are say­ ing ´I broke the glass´ literally, whereas in the second exam­ ple with ´se´ it´s like saying the glass broke, although of course it isn´t saying that because we´ve put ´me´ which makes sure everyone knows it was you that broke it. That explanation is only to help with the verb use. If you´re in any doubt about the preterite you can find it in one of my past les­ sons and I will be repeating the past tenses in the near future. Here are a few more examples to help you under­ stand the nuance of using ‘se’ in this case, remember, it´s used when what happens is sudden and unexpected: Se me cayó el teléfono – I dropped the phone, A Ana se le perdío mi carnet de conducir – Ana lost my driving licence.

I hope this helps explain this difficult part of Spanish and a word that is regularly used therefore it´s important to know when to use it.

Next week we are going to look at the conditional tense in Spanish, it´s fairly straightforward but I want you to concen­ trate this week on mastering your infinitives of the verbs, that is the –er, ­ar and –ir endings because they are very impor­ tant in all aspects of verb conjugations but especially so in tenses such as the conditional. ¡Que tengas una Buena semana, hasta la próxima!

Friday, July 18, 2014

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Friday, July 18, 2014

ROLFING MASSAGE THERAPY A Way to Align the Body and Relieve Pain

Rolfing is a method of structural integra­ tion accomplished by soft tissue manipula­ tion and movement education. Developed in the 1950s by Ida Rolf, this bodywork method has allowed people to stand straighter, move better than ever and gain height through its focus on correcting tissue fixations.

It is no secret that physical and emotional stress leaves its mark in the body via tight muscles, cramps, trigger points, aches and

pains. Every time we have been in a stress­ ful situation, our body has reacted by tight­ ening up and holding that stress in the tis­ sues. Every physical sprain or strain we have suffered is still locked into muscle memory. Is there any doubt as to why we suffer chronic pain, especially muscular­ skeletal pain?

There are many hands­on pain relief methods, such as massage, trigger point therapy, reiki, stretching, physical therapy

HOW EARS HEAR

Written by Michael Burke RHAD MSHAA of Digital Hearing, Quesada Our ears are wonderfully sophisticated organs that convert sound waves into electrical signals our brain can understand. Ears catch sound waves, change them into nerve impulses, and then send them to the brain for interpretation.

Three parts of the ear work togeth­ er to help us hear: the outer ear, the middle ear, and the inner ear. But that’s not all!

Our ears keep us upright – they are our main organs of balance.

Sound first goes into the outer ear (what we tradition­ ally think of as our ear ­ it’s the part of the ear we can see) and is sent down the

ear canal, which makes some sounds stronger. The sound then hits the eardrum causing it to vibrate and transmit the vibration into the middle ear.

Once the vibrations get to the middle ear, three tiny bones – the hammer, the anvil and the stirrup, start working to amplify them.

These bones are collectively known as the ossicles and are the smallest bones in our bodies. They sit like a tiny bridge between the eardrum and the inner ear.

The entire structure is not much more than 1 cm across. The middle ear allows vibrations to flow into the inner ear.

The inner ear is shaped in a spiral similar to a snail shell; it is called the cochlea and contains mechanisms for hearing and balance. The balance part consists of 3

fluid­filled loops which act like a gyroscope and tell us which way is up and how we are moving. The hearing part of the cochlea is lined with around 30,000 tiny hairs and filled with fluid. The entire cochlea is about the size of a pea.

The sounds enter the cochlea and pass as pres­ sure waves through the fluid, stimulating the hairs and generating electrical impuls­ es which are sent along the auditory nerve to the brain.

The brain changes these impulses into the sounds and noises we hear and links them to the language and speech centres. .

Our ears are such a small part of our body but so amazingly complex.

We often don’t appreciate them fully until they begin to fail.

In the next article we will look at the causes of hearing loss.

If you have any questions about this week’s topic, you can e­mail digitalhearing@hotmail.co.u k, contact Michael Burke at Digital Hearing, Quesada Business Centre, Calle Los Arcos 7, Quesada – tel 698 418 642, or visit us on­line at www.digitalhearingspain.co m.

and others. Among these is Rolfing, which specializes in soft tissue release. Basically, by releasing the adhesions and scar tissue holding muscle, fascia and tendon locked into spasm, the body can be corrected and free motion returned. This is accomplished by direct deep pressure that a practitioner applies to the body of a client with their fist, fingers and elbows.

Rolfing may be painful for some because of the deep pressure and tearing actions used. However, the pain only remains while the treatment is in session. The pain is evoked by the pressure exerted into the adhered soft tissue areas. Once the adhe­ sions are worked out, the pain subsides and the body is returned to normal ranges of motion and suppleness.

Since Rolfers differentiate between good posture and correct body structure, they strive to organize the skeletal system that has been made "crooked" through injury and stress. By correcting the underlying structure of the body, and also removing adhesion of muscle and connective tissue, the body can realign and hold itself properly.

And with proper structure and posture comes pain relief.

Through Rolfing sessions people can expect to improve flexibility, athletic per­ formance, reduce swelling and pain, increase range of motion and correct pos­ ture. All types of performance improve and pain disappears when the muscles fire com­ pletely and rest completely. And this can only happen when the body is correctly aligned.

You might be asking yourself how Rolfing is different than regular massage? The dif­ ference is in the focus on the body treat­ ment. Whereas massage improves circula­ tion and helps relaxations and short­term stress, Rolfing focuses on reordering the body to prevent the pains returning. Also, whereas massage works on muscle tissue, Rolfing works on the fascia or connective tissue.

So if you suffer muscle or skeletal pain and have tried traditional massage, why not go one step farther and give Rolfing a try.

It's a deeper therapy that may be the answer you are seeking.

HOW WHEAT MAY BE DAMAGING YOUR HEALTH DR MACHI MANNU’S ADVICE CLINIC Email your questions and comments to contact@medb.es

You may be shocked to discover that 2 slices of whole grain wheat bread will raise your blood sugar level higher than 6 teaspoons of pure white sugar. The story of the strain of wheat we now consume starts sometime in the 1970s. Scientists for good reason wanted to improve on the existing wheat plant, to improve on its yield and ability to withstand adverse weather. Before then, wheat was a different plant. This new strain of wheat was never tested for safety before it was intro­ duced to us as food. We now know that the genetic changes in the newer strains of wheat accounts for their dangerously higher levels of toxins. Wheat is a grain and

generally grains are poor quality foods because they contain many toxic proteins including – Glutenin and Gliadin. Glutenin is like glue and gives wheat its doughy, twisty nature. Gliadin is the cause of coeliac disease. It is also an appetite stimulant, and the cause of obesity epi­ demic facing many societies.

Wheat is also recognised as a major cause of heart dis­ ease. It increases levels of small particle LDL (low densi­ ty lipoprotein) which inflames arteries. Recently it was dis­ covered that gliadin protein in wheat plays an even more sinister role in the body by uncoupling tightly bound intestinal cells to allow toxins into the body. Wheat also contains a weird complex

carb known as amylo­pectin A, which causes unhealthy increases in blood sugar lev­ els .So what benefits await us when we commence a wheat free diet? Well, with­ out the appetite stimulation of wheat, most people notice dramatic weight­loss, espe­ cially a reduction in waist line. Diabetics will also notice that their blood sugar levels are better controlled and they require less medication. Joint pains vanish or ease off con­ siderably. If you have a chronic illness, perhaps you should stop eating wheat for 3 months and see how you feel.

FOR A FULL BODY DIAG­ NOSTIC SCAN PLEASE CALL 965071745 AND BOOK AN APPOINTMENT

Friday, July 18, 2014

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Friday, July 18, 2014

COUGHING UP AN ANSWER Q

I always suffer from dry cough and don’t seem to cough out anything. I have been to my doctor and after taking antibiotics that weren’t helping; I was sent for a CT scan that still didn’t show up any problems. I will be glad for your thoughts on my health situation.

A

In my experience the symptoms you describe are usually caused by chronic low grade infection from ‘opportunistic’ harmful microbes in the body. Such microbes are normal inhabitants of the body, but are kept at bay by the immune system. When the immune system becomes weakened, these microbes grow in number and cause all kinds of symptoms related to infections such as fever, joint pains, cough and abdominal upsets.

Antibiotics tend to worsen the situation by further depressing the immune system and killing off both beneficial and harmful microbes. Beneficial bacteria such as lacto­ bacillus and bifidus are key players in main­ taining a healthy immune system. They sup­ press the growth of harmful staphylococcus and streptococcus bacteria. If such harmful microbes are not suppressed and allowed to grow unchecked, they can cause infec­ tions in many parts of the body including the respiratory, digestive and urinary systems.

Respiratory infections can also be caused by viruses. Infections are not easily picked up with X­rays and CT scans. Sputum analysis may also not detect the presence of harmful bacteria, which may remain inac­ tive and unseen in tissues and organs. The best way to treat chronic respiratory infec­ tions is to boost the immune system.

Probiotics are very useful. Yogurt is a good source of probiotics if you can tolerate lac­ tose. There are a variety of probiotic supple­ ments available, and useful ones should contain ‘billions’ and not ‘millions’ of bacte­ ria per portion. Echinacea is another well studied immune system enhancer. It has been shown to be very effective against the flu virus. My favourite is reishi extract (Ganoderma Lucidum). Recently a patient of mine called reishi extract capsules ‘magic pills’. Reishi is a mushroom that has been used in Japan for 2000 years. In the past,

reishi was reserved for royalty, but today, thanks to improved cultivation methods, they have become available to everyone.

Reishi is known as the ‘mushroom of immortality’. It belongs to the rare group of substances known as adaptogens. An adaptogen is a substance that works with the body to heal itself. In traditional Chinese medicine, reishi is known to harmonize the body, mind and spirit. Prescribed medica­ tions are also notorious for causing cough.

If you are on any medications, it may be a good idea to find out more about their side effects and review them with your doctor.

Most drugs have cough listed on the leaflet as a side­effect. The presence of toxic chemicals and substances in the lungs can also cause respiratory problems. Heavy metals and chemicals tend to build­up in the lungs as well as the liver, gall bladder and kidneys. These toxins do not usually cause any problems until much later in life. IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS CALL DR MACHI MANNU: 965071745

Q

I have been reading your articles in the Courier newspaper, and I am very interested in having a diagnostic scan. I have looked at your website, and read that it is non­invasive. Please explain the science behind it.

A

The science behind the full body diag­ nostic scan performed using Sensitiv Imago technology is ­ Bio Resonance Theory. In summary, this theory is based on the premise that every living organism and tissue has a unique electromagnetic signa­ ture that is measureable, just as every human being has a unique finger print that can be recorded. This means that diseases, infections, deficiencies and dysfunctions can be identified by measuring frequencies and comparing them against the expected frequencies. For example, the frequency of a healthy heart is 700­800 Hz, but this increases to 1500 Hz with Angina Pectoris.

Using resonance for medical diagnostics is not a new phenomenon. Resonance is sim­ ply vibration in tandem. This is similar to what happens when you are close to loud music, and hear the vibration in your chest.

MRI (Magnetic Resonance Imaging) uses

magnetic resonance to create images of the internal organs and structures of the body.

Likewise, the full body diagnostics we carry out using Sensitiv Imago measures the electromagnetic waves from the body to access the historical, current and potential health status of a person. It is like a barcode reader in that it scans the electromagnetic energies of the person being diagnosed and provides anatomical images on a computer screen. The device allows for a deep and precise investigation of a person’s electro­ magnetic system based on the bio­reso­ nance theory. The Diagnostic scan is non­ invasive, which means we do not break the skin or invade the body in any form. It is completely painless. Electromagnetic waves from the body are measured using a hand electrode, a laser optical scanner and a head set. The information gathered is compared to the expected frequencies, and also to information collected and analysed from over 100 000 patients and 1 000 dis­ eases. Just as living cells and organisms have unique frequencies, diseases also have distinct signatures. By using the most advanced diagnostic method known today – NLS (Nonlinear Analysis), it is possible to detect the slightest changes in the body.

The diagnostics we perform allow not just

for the detection of a disease, but its cause and history. It is also possible to identify allergens, contaminants, toxins, and microorganisms (bacteria, viruses, para­ sites) as well as personal genetic predispo­ sitions and risks, and to perform a blood test. Many people wonder how it is possible to perform a blood test without needles.

Actually the science behind it is not new. In the fields of chemistry and physics, scien­ tists have known for decades that every substance has a unique electromagnetic frequency or signature. This is how we know that the sun is made of elements such as hydrogen, helium, carbon and magne­ sium. No one has ever been to the sun to test for them. Likewise it is possible to detect magnesium, iron, vitamins, enzymes and other minerals in the body without pen­ etrating the skin. Identifying the frequency signatures of nutrients in the body has been an on­going project since the early eighties, and future developments will only increase the accuracy of identification. This science means that we are able to identify disease processes with an impressive accuracy of 96%, and this is when compared to other diagnostic systems available today. FOR A FULL BODY DIAGNOSTIC SCAN CALL DR MANNU: 965071745

Friday, July 18, 2014

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Friday, July 18, 2014

Focus on LA ZENIA UNO’S IS NUMBER ONE Uno`s at Los Dolses has come a long way in its three years of trading! Products come and go, so change is a great necessity, and that’s why they now have all the greeting cards in the shop at just one euro each. There are no more broken glasses with acrylic drinkwear , and there’s a great selection of ladies shoes and cos­ tume jewellery, in addition to many ladies clothing lines from major UK outlets like M&S, Wallis, and Next, to name but a few. Uno’s always strive to keep prices low, with new lines arriving fortnightly! So just pop in and have a look and enjoy a friendly greeting from the shop’s staff..

Beds & Sofas are a well established Factory Outlet in La Zenia, who can provide you with the best prices and the fastest delivery on the Costa Blanca. Find us just off the La Zenia Round about just up from The Dog and Bone Mobile Shop.

We sell all sorts of Beds from Basic Twins Bed and Bunks to High End Pocket Spring Mattresses.

We also have a great selection of Sofa Beds, Corner Units and 3 Piece Suites all available in wide choice of Fabrics and Leather.

Our Special Offer this month is The Esparta Sofa 399€ for a 3+2 Seater Suite EVEN THE TILL WORKS! Open All Hours is the convenience store with more in La Zenia, named after the famous TV comedy, which stocks a wide range of British and Irish brands, including those that are always tricky to get hold of in Spain.Enjoy some gorgeous Irish soda bread, or white pudding, as well the full Olde English range of tra­ ditional jars of sweets that will bring back the memories!

Gill ,Lynn and Sam are always happy to help. They promise friendly service and no short­changing in the old Arkwright style, with a comprehensive stock of familiar UK products, as well as cards, wines, spirits, freshly baked bread, pasties sausage rolls etc.Also a wide stock of Baby products plus not forgetting fantas­ tic Coconut Oil!! They also offer Welcome packs and Beach Picnic packs!!Just call and order!!

They’re also an authorised dealer of totally Wicked E Cigarettes including the new Totally herbal e­Liquid which has been expertly blended and is 100% natural and organic and totally unique,which you can try before you buy. They are also part of a reliable postal service to take care of all your interna­ tional courier service.

La Ponderosa - your specialist jewellery and gift store

The brilliance behind each piece of BOUTON jewellery is due to each of the carefully selected simulated stones being hand set into 925 sterling silver, which is then finished off with rhodium, 12 carat gold, rose gold or black rhodium plating. The flawlessly cut BOUTON simulated stones come in the natural diamond­ inspired colours of rare vivid yellow, ruby, and sapphire. There is an extensive selection of over 200 pieces including celebratory rings, stacker rings, earrings, simple pendants and bracelets, charms, cufflinks and showstopper necklaces containing over 600 gems. Each piece of BOUTON jewellery also features a 2 year international warranty. Bouton ­ now execlusively available at La Ponderosa ­ your specialist jeweller and gift shop with all the leading designer brands under one roof. La Zenia, Orihuela Costa ­ with free easy parking at Consum supermarket Tel. 966730425 www.la­ponderosa.es la ponderosa ­ la zenia

STAY BEAUTIFUL, FROM HEAD TO TOE! The Head to Toe Hair & Beauty salon in La Zenia, has now got ten successful years behind it, and they have settled into their bigger and better salon behind Alfie’s Bar. Head to Toe Hair & Beauty provide all kinds of beauty work including derma rolling, non­ surgical facelifts, body wraps, waxing pedicures, massage, facials, acrylic gel nails, shelac nails threading, and semi­ permanent make up plus much more! They also have Tim Cavendish providing a foot and physiotherapy clinic.

Enjoy the full salon experience with a team of friendly and fully qualified and talented stylists. Book an appointment on 652 238 813.

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Focus on LA ZENIA AWASH IN COLOUR

If you want to make a bit of splash with the right kind of paint, then visit the family­run company that is DIY Ferreton. They’ve a large selection of paints for your indoor and outdoor needs, as well as for treating wood, and they can sort out the exact colour that you want!

DIY Ferreton have all the machines to mix and match the colour you want, and if you bring in a particular sample, they’ll do all the work out to come up with the same colour! If you live on the urbanisations from Punta Prima to Campoamor, they mix most of required colours that you need for any work on your com­ munity, as the team have a file with all the details of the commu­ nity colours that will give you the right blend.

It’s a family run business that really does pride itself on their personal service, which means that customers return time and again. They’ve been in La Zenia for the last 7 years, and before that were based in Torrevieja from 2001.

DIY Ferreton also do key cutting and offer a full range of key and locksmith services, as well as selling a wide range of hard­ ware items.

THE PERFECT SMILE FROM GILABERT If you open wide and say aaahhh, then it has to be the perfect dental centre for you: ­ namely Gilabert Clinic. Be it your molars or crowns, or special cosmetic work, then you can take advantage of their 30 years of experience to give you the best possible dentistry experience. And these days, major technological advances make your visit to their centres in Orihuela City and the Orihuela Costa (La Zenia) even more satisfactory. The Gilabert Clinic team are right on the ball with all the latest developments in the world of dentistry, as everybody gets regular updates on all the new tech­ niques to bring the best possible service to you. Gilabert Clinic led

by Dr Ana Gilabert offers you every dental speciality and service that you can imagine, and of course it’s tailored to your personal needs to give you the highest quality treatment. It’s hardly surpris­ ing then that Gilabert Clinic has become the leading local dental centre offering advanced work with the most modern techniques and instruments. Check out the great team who make you feel important as they work out the treatment plan that gives you the best results whilst not burning a large hole in your pocket.

RENT AGAIN AND AGAIN There’s nothing worse than renting a car and then discover­ ing a whole of hidden costs that you know nothing about! Rest assured that Rentagain give you all the details up front with a friendly and professional service that gives you basic insurance for no added cost, and an extra insurance that gives you added security at just 35 Euros for a full month!

The list of standard features from Rentagain is comprehen­ sive when you hire a car from them, including unlimited mileage; a free home delivery service; a free baby seat and boosters; free additional drivers allowed under your contract; and a car that has everything you need including air condition­ ing, electric windows, central locking and a radio/CD player.

There’s no way that you’re going to be fobbed off with an old crock, as you get your pick of a top fleet of cars!

Give Rentagain a try, and as our name suggests, you’ll be so impressed with what we do, that you’ll be back with us again!

TOP LINES AT SECOND BEST The Second Best Boutique Ladies and Gents clothing agency will be celebrating their third year in business this October, with their impressive collection of new and nearly new designer labels and high street brands.

Based inside Easyads at La Zenia, the Second Best Boutique has proved a huge hit with the discerning shopper, who also loves a bargain.

Its new range of contemporary hand crafted jewellery created from Sterling silver and Tibetan and Indian Stone which is the perfect accom­ paniment to the stylish outfits on sale. More than 90% of the items are brand new and all are in immaculate condition and dry cleaned. The Boutique stocks a wide range of sizes from 8 to 28 and has a range of Menswear as well as Ladies clothing, with a large range of summer wear in stock right now.

And you can turn your unwanted items into cash with brand names or designer clothing that you no longer wear, which will be sold on a 50/50 basis All clothing must be in excellent condition clean or dry­ cleaned new or nearly new For more info contact Amanda on 662 167 783. Open Mon ­ Fri 10am to 7pm and Sat 10am to 4pm.

SUMMER FUN AT PADDY’S Paddy’s Point is the perfect party place this summer, and after 15 years of experience, the team now exactly what it takes to have a good night or day out, for all tastes. Paddy's is a constant hive of activity ­ with food served daily from 9.30 am to 9.30pm and there is a lovely 'casual dining' feel to the shaded outdoor area.

All major sports are also shown both inside and outside, and if you are a GAA fan you are guaranteed to see every televised game shown live here and a cracking atmosphere, arguably the best in the area.

Live music also continues to play a huge part in the success of Paddy's Point and with a wonderful variety of artists and bands seven nights a week there really is something for everyone and again, the atmosphere is cracking! Five nights a week things turn magical in Paddy’s ­ with up close magician Graeme Mykal, who is hugely with people of all ages and is back for his third summer at Paddy’s. Make a point of calling to Paddy's this summer ­ you won’t be disappointed!

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Friday, July 18, 2014

BEST BARBECUE BITES Grilled trout with fennel and apple remoulade Ingredients 1. 2 fennel bulbs, halved and finely sliced 2. 2 Granny Smith apples, peeled and grated 3. 120g crème fraîche 4. Handful fresh coriander, finely chopped 5. Grated zest of 2 lemons, juice of 1, plus wedges to serve 6. 4 trout fillets, pin­boned 7. 2 tbsp olive oil Method 1. Preheat the grill or barbecue. To prepare the remoulade, mix together the fennel, apple, crème fraîche, coriander, and zest and juice of 1 lemon in a bowl. Season to taste.

2. Make 3 scores in the skin­side of each trout fillet and brush both sides with the oil. Sprinkle the zest of the other lemon over the skin and season.

3. Place the fillets under the grill or on the barbecue, skin­ side to the heat. Grill/barbecue for 3­4 minutes until cooked through and serve with the remoulade and lemon wedges.

Turkish lamb burgers Ingredients 1. 1kg good­quality minced lamb 2. 3 garlic cloves, crushed 3. 2 medium red onions, fine­ ly chopped 4. 2 tbsp olive oil 5. 25g fresh flatleaf parsley leaves, chopped 6. 2 tbsp tomato purée 7. 2 tsp ground cumin 8. 1 tsp ground coriander 9. Turkish lavash or flat­ breads, pickled long green chillies, natural wholemilk yogurt and a mixed salad, to serve Method 1. Mix all the ingredients together (except the serving sug­ gestions) in a large bowl and season well. Shape into 8 even­size burgers, each about 2cm thick. Space out on a tray, cover and chill for 1 hour or up to 24 hours.

2. If you are using a charcoal barbecue, light about 30 min­ utes before you want to cook. If using a gas barbecue, pre­ heat 10 minutes beforehand.

3. Barbecue the burgers directly over a medium heat for 5­6 minutes each side or until just cooked through.

4. Serve with Turkish bread, pickled chillies, yogurt and a mixed salad (we used chopped cherry tomatoes, red pepper, cucumber, spring onions, red chilli and mint, dressed with red wine vinegar and olive oil).

Grilled spiced mackerel with creamy cucumber Ingredients 1. 4 mackerel (about 350g each), cleaned 2. Juice of 1 large lemon 3. 2 tsp garam masala 4. 1 tsp chilli powder 5. 2 tbsp natural yogurt 6. 2 tbsp sunflower oil 7. Lemon wedges, to serve For the creamy cucumber 1. 70g natural yogurt 2. 100ml half­fat crème fraîche 3. ¼ cucumber, peeled and roughly grated or finely diced Method 1. Light the barbecue, if using. Cut 3 diagonal slashes into the skin on both sides of each fish. Mix together the lemon juice, garam masala, chilli powder, yogurt and a pinch of salt.

Place the fish in a dish and rub with the marinade. Cover and chill for 20­30 minutes.

2. To make the creamy cucumber, whisk the yogurt and crème fraîche in a bowl with a pinch of salt. Mix in the cucum­ ber and, if necessary, thin with a little water. Season to taste.

3. If you’re not using a charcoal barbecue, preheat 2 griddle pans or 1 large griddle pan over a medium heat (or preheat a gas barbecue to medium) and brush the grill or pan with the sunflower oil. Remove the mackerel from the marinade and barbecue or griddle for 8­10 minutes each side or until cooked through. Serve with lemon wedges, to squeeze over.

Buffalo chicken wings Ingredients 1. 24 large, free­range chick­ en wings 2. 4 tsp Tabasco sauce 3. Olive oil, for brushing 4. 100g unsalted butter 5. 4 tsp cider vinegar 6. 2 tsp sweet chilli sauce For the blue cheese dressing 1. 50g creamy blue cheese, such as Danish Blue 2. 1 small garlic clove, crushed 3. 4 tbsp mayonnaise 4. 2 tsp lemon juice 5. 4 tbsp soured cream or wholemilk natural yogurt 6. 1 large shallot, finely chopped

7. 1 tbsp chopped fresh parsley leaves 8. 1 tbsp milk (optional) Method 1. Cut off and discard the pointy tip from each wing, then make a shallow slash through the skin. Put in a bowl, drizzle over 1 teaspoon Tabasco and massage into the slashes.

Cover and marinate in the fridge for at least 1 hour or up to 6 hours.

2. f using a charcoal barbecue, light about 30 minutes before you want to cook. For a gas barbecue, preheat 10 minutes beforehand.

3. Make the dressing. Crumble the cheese into a bowl, add the garlic and 2 tablespoons mayonnaise and cream togeth­ er until smooth but with a few small lumps. Stir in the remain­ ing mayonnaise, the lemon juice, soured cream or yogurt, shallot and parsley – loosen with the milk if necessary. Spoon into 4 small pots, cover and chill until serving.

4. Brush the chicken wings with a little oil, season and barbe­ cue directly over a medium heat for about 8 minutes each side or until golden and cooked through.

5. Just before the wings are ready, melt the butter in a large, deep frying pan on the barbecue. Stir in the remaining Tabasco, the vinegar and the sweet chilli sauce and season with salt, to taste. Using tongs, transfer the chicken to the pan and toss well in the sauce.

6. Take to the table and serve with the blue cheese dressing pots, for dunking. Also good with celery, iceberg lettuce and crusty bread, if you like.

Sweet and sour prawns with lime Ingredients 1. 16 large raw prawns, peeled and deveined 2. 2 tbsp olive oil 3. 1 garlic clove, crushed 4. 2 tbsp light soy sauce 5. 1­2 tbsp clear honey 6. 2 limes 7. 2 tbsp roughly chopped fresh coriander 8. Pinch of chilli flakes Method 1. Soak 4 bamboo or wooden skewers in cold water for at least 30 minutes.

2. Meanwhile, rinse the prawns and pat dry on kitchen paper.

Put into a bowl and set aside. Mix the olive oil, garlic, soy sauce, honey, the zest and juice of 1 lime, coriander, chilli and seasoning. Pour it over the prawns and toss well. Cover and marinate in the fridge for 15 minutes.

3. 3. Cut the other lime into quarters. Thread 4 prawns and 1 lime wedge onto each skewer. Barbecue directly over a medium heat source for 2­3 minutes, turning halfway and brushing with any remaining marinade, until pink and tender.

Barbecue pepper steak sandwiches 1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

Ingredients 3 red peppers, pricked with a fork 2 x 300g sirloin steaks, trimmed of excess fat 2 tbsp olive oil 1 red onion, sliced into rings Small baguettes, bread rolls or an unsliced crusty loaf

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Friday, July 18, 2014 6. Handful salad leaves 7. 1 ripe avocado, halved and stoned 8. 4 tbsp good­quality tomato chutney (buy from a local farm shop or deli) Method 1. Light the barbecue and get the coals to medium heat.

Cook the peppers whole for 20 minutes, turning occasion­ ally, until the skins are black­ ened and they feel quite soft when prodded with tongs. Put in a bowl, cover with cling film and set aside to cool. Peel off and discard the blackened skin. Halve, deseed and cut the peppers into strips.

2. Meanwhile, lay the steaks out on a board and cover each with cling film. Using a rolling pin or the end of a wooden spoon, flatten out the steaks until 1cm thick. Brush the steaks on both sides with half the olive oil and place on a plate.

Sprinkle with ground black pepper.

3. Add the steaks to the barbecue and cook for 1­2 minutes each side for medium­rare (or cook for longer if you like). Set them aside to rest for 5 minutes, then halve each one. While the steaks are cooking and resting, brush the red onion rings with the remaining oil. Cook on the barbecue for 3­4 minutes, turning halfway or until softened.

4. Split or slice the bread and grill on the barbecue for 1 minute each side, until toasted. Top each base with a handful of salad leaves. Using a spoon, scoop the avocado out of its skin and press on top of the salad. Add a steak half and some grilled pepper strips, a dollop of tomato chutney and the onion rings. Top with the remaining bread to serve.

Barbecued haloumi and coleslaw pittas Ingredients 1. 3 tbsp jerk seasoning 2. 2 x 250g packs haloumi, each cut into bite­size pieces 3. Olive oil, for brushing 4. 6 wholemeal pittas, to serve For the coleslaw 1. 3 tbsp light mayonnaise 2. Juice of 1 lime 3. 2 carrots, finely sliced 4. 1 celery stick, finely sliced 5. 1 small red onion, finely sliced 6. 1 red bird’s eye chilli, deseeded and finely sliced 7. Handful fresh coriander leaves 8. 25g salted peanuts, toasted 9. Handful fresh beansprouts Method 1. First, make the coleslaw. Mix together the mayonnaise and lime juice in a large mixing bowl, add all the remaining ingre­ dients, season, then toss together well.

2. Sprinkle the jerk seasoning all over the haloumi, brush with olive oil and cook on a hot barbecue or griddle pan for 1­2 minutes each side, until it is slightly charred. Set aside.

3. Brush each pitta with some olive oil, place on the barbecue or griddle pan and cook, turning, until heated through.

4. o serve, carefully split open each pitta to make a pocket, then spoon the coleslaw and haloumi into each one. Then tuck in!

Method 1. Preheat the barbecue. Drain the pineapple, reserving the juice. Set aside. In a flat dish, mix all but 1 tablespoon barbe­ cue sauce with the ginger, 2 tablespoons reserved pineapple juice and the oil. Add the pork and toss to coat. Set aside for at least 30 minutes, or overnight.

2. Lift the pork from the marinade, discarding any excess.

Cook on the hot barbecue, covered, for 20 minutes, turn­ ing halfway or until just cooked through and charred.

Set aside to rest for 5 min­ utes.

3. Meanwhile, chop the pineapple and heat in a pan with a little of the pineapple juice and the remaining bar­ becue sauce. Cook until soft­ ened slightly, then stir in the onions. Remove from the heat and season.

4. Cut the pork into thick slices. Divide between plates along with the pineapple relish. Serve with jacket sweet potatoes, with butter and chopped spring onions, and a crisp green salad on the side.

Chargrilled tropical fruits with orange syrup Ingredients 1. 200g caster sugar, plus extra 2. Juice of 2 oranges (about 175ml) 3. 250g tub mascarpone 4. 150ml coconut cream 5. Seeds of 1 vanilla pod 6. 3 tbsp icing sugar 7. 8 thick slices peeled fresh pineapple 8. 8 small mango cheeks, skin on 9. 4 peaches, halved and stoned Method 1. On the hob, slowly melt the caster sugar in a pan over a medium heat until dark amber. Take off the heat and carefully add the orange juice. Return to the heat and stir until the caramel melts again. Cool and set aside until needed.

2. Beat the mascarpone, coconut cream, vanilla seeds and icing sugar until smooth. Chill until required.

3. Sprinkle the extra caster sugar to taste on the cut side of the fruit (or 1 side of the pineapple), shaking off any excess.

Barbecue the pineapple and mango directly over a medium heat for 5­6 minutes, and the peaches for 3­4 minutes, until lightly charred.

4. 4. Arrange the fruit on a plate and serve with the orange syrup and coconut cream.

The 10 golden rules of barbecuing First, the barbecue…

1. Light the barbecue before guests arrive. It’s the deli­ cious smell of outdoor cooking that will get your guests salivating when they turn up. Once you’ve lit the bar­ becue, the coals should be ready after about 30 min­ utes.

2. Be ready to go. Having everything prepared in Jerk pork fillet with advance will make it all run more smoothly, leaving spicy pineapple relish time for you to have a drink and relax.

Ingredients 3. Be organised. Make sure you have all your equip­ 1. 432g can pineapple in natural juice ment to hand. Have ample table space around the bar­ 2. 150ml jerk barbecue sauce becue and ensure all your food will fit on the grills. If 3. 2.5cm piece fresh ginger, grated 4. 1 tbsp vegetable oil necessary, borrow an extra barbecue from a friend or 5. 2 x 300g pork tenderloins, trimmed of excess fat and neighbour. halved 4. Stay with your barbecue. Success depends on turn­ 6. 2 spring onions, finely sliced ing and basting the food regularly to prevent burning or

flame­ups. You won’t be lonely for long – who can resist the tantalising smell of a well­tended grill?

And now for the food…

5. Get the best ingredients. Summer brings an abun­ dance of fresh fruit, veg and meat or fish, so you’ll be spoilt for choice.

6. Marinating. Unless you have a fantastic piece of tender, aged beef, which requires no more than a mere brush of oil and the quickest cooking, nothing beats a marinade for adding flavour and tenderising meat. Marinate overnight to get the best results.

7. Seasoning. We believe this is where many home barbecuers mess up. NEVER add salt to a marinade unless you’re marinating for less than two hours, as salt can toughen the meat. Instead, season well, just before barbecuing.

8. Get the temperature right. Give food enough time out of the fridge so it loses its chill and starts to approach room temperature. If ingredients are cold, the outside may burn before the inside is cooked. A good rule of thumb is to remove raw food from the fridge when you light the barbecue.

9. Rest meat once it’s cooked. This is essential. Eat steak directly off the grill and it will be tough, but leave it to rest for a few minutes and the meat will relax and reabsorb the juices.

10. Presentation. Although the food is the star of the show, it’s good to create atmosphere with fun and funky plates and props, colourful napkins and bowls.

It’s worth going the extra distance.

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Friday, July 18, 2014

Friday, July 18, 2014

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ALZHEIMER’S BOOST BENNETT’S ROAR ON

It wasn’t just everybody that was rolling in the aisles during the recent Stagestruck production of Ancient Grease, which sent up the famous John Travolta and Olivia Newton John film musical. No, there was also an extremely grateful bunch of peo­ ple from Torrevieja’s Alzheimer’s Association who got a bumper cheque of 2,500 Euros raised by the three night run at San Fulgencio’s Cardenal Belluga

Theatre.

AFA President, Matilde Sanchez, was so grateful to Stagestruck for this very generous donation and thanked Stella and her team by presenting a Certificate of Appreciation from AFA. Stagestruck also made a donation to the San Fulgencio’s school books fund which help to provide essential school books for struggling families.

SUMMER HIGH FOR MABS

Summer has proved to be a busy sea­ son for the MABS Cancer Support Group, MarMenor, highlighted by a very enjoy­ able Summer Solstice event, in the beau­ tiful gardens of the La Finca Restaurant, on La Manga Club.

The 'white' dress code was completed with a sea of white net around the tables. The evening was a sell out and started with champagne cocktails which were enjoyed before a superb dinner hosted by Sylvia Ingham, owner of the restaurant, and Helen Holland, Lady Captain of La Manga Club, who has adopted MABS as her charity during her year in office. Jacqui Phillips, MBE and President of MABS (pictured) attended the event and said "I am delight­ ed to be at such a wonderful event and thank you all for supporting us".

After stand up bingo which raised 1,000 Euros and an auction the total raised for the evening was a staggering 6,420 Euros.

Cancer doesn't discriminate and neither do MABS, as they help anyone of any nationality affected by cancer. Helpline 693 275 779

YOU WILL GO TO THE BALL

There’s no rest­ ing on laurels for Studio 32 after the recent success of Sweet Charity, as they turn their thoughts towards their Christmas pantomime, Cinderella which they will be stag­ ing in San Fulgencio later in the year. Full rehearsals have started at Casa Ventura, San Luis, Torrevieja every Wednesday after­ noon from 3.00pm as well as Sunday mornings from 11.00am, though they will be taking a break during August!

Studio 32 are still on the lookout for dancers and general cast members as well

as for people to work back stage. They also would love new social members, as they organise a wide variety of events like a barn dance and a chance to go tenpin bowling.

For more details, go to their website, www.studiothirtytwo.org or call 966 318 019.

A not­ so new face has taken over at the helm of the Torrevieja Costa Lions club dur­ ing their annual dinner at the Marabu Lounge on the Lemon Tree road in Dona Pepa 2, Rojales. The out­ going President Janette Bennett thanked all the Club mem­ bers and guests for their huge support dur­ ing her two year tenure as President, and handed over the badge of office to her suc­ cessor(and husband), Iain Bennett, who used to be the President between 2010 and 2012!

The night saw a presentation of a 500 Euro cheque to Pauline and Derrick Howarth (pictured) representing the Vecinos de San Miguel Archangel, and club member, Peter

Long, was presented with a Melvin Jones Fellowship Award in recognition of his com­ mitment to the Club and Service to the com­ munity of Torrevieja and surrounding areas.

The Award is the highest accolade available to any Club member and is only awarded in exceptional circumstances, and was also given to outgoing President, Janette Bennett.

For more information about the Torrevieja Costa Lions Club and how to become a Lion member, go to www.torreviejacostalions.org or drop in to the Lions monthly meeting in Hotel Cabo Cervera, La Mata on the second Thursday of every month at 7.30pm, where you will always be made welcome.

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Friday, July 18, 2014

Restaurants & Bars

Services

31

Friday, July 18, 2014

Property

Lifestyle

The Vista Card For great discounts, cut out This Vista Card and present it to participating businesses

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Friday, July 18, 2014

Horoscopes Aries March 21 ­ April 19 You may have the spark that wants to light things today, Aries. Indeed, there's a fast­ paced tendency to the day that is right up your ally. You should be able to accom­ plish quite a bit under the prevailing trends. Just make sure you're constructive with criticism, and be careful that you aren't too abrasive toward the people you deal with. In other words, be nice..

Taurus April 20 ­ May 20 Interaction with others may not be espe­ cially satisfying for you today, Taurus. You could get the feeling that other people don't really care as much as you thought they did. Keep in mind that everyone is doing the best they can. Most people aren't as sensitive as you. They probably have no idea what sort of impact their words have on you. Give others the ben­ efit of the doubt.

Gemini May 21 ­ June 20 The clouds have finally lifted and you should be able to see clearly again, Gemini. The fire is burning red hot and you'll find people likely to stick up for them­ selves more than usual. You should do the same. Arguments could be especially heated today, and interesting facts and revolutionary information will be passed from person to person.

Cancer June 21 ­ July 22 Your slow and steady approach may need a sharp kick in the pants today, Cancer. Don't withhold your opinions. This is a time to get it all out on the table, despite the tension that it may cause. Strong forces are at work, so don't be surprised if things get a bit more heat­ ed than you're used to. The fact is that incred­ ible breakthroughs can be made through dis­ agreements among different types of people.

By Pandora Leo July 23 ­ August 22 Try to seek freedom and new experiences today, Leo. This is an important time for you to spread your wings and explore. Keep in mind that something or someone may be working to restrain you emotionally. An opposing force is promoting war while you insist on keeping things peaceful. Perhaps there's an important lesson you need to learn. Be more assertive in your actions, and don't let people walk all over you.

Virgo August 23 ­ September 22 If people insist on having things their own way, let them, Virgo. Fighting isn't going to do any good. This kind of reaction will only cause more tension between you and the other person involved.

Approaching the situation with a hostile attitude will most likely result in a lose/lose situation. If arguments do occur, try not to take things personally. Try your hardest to stick with the facts.

Libra September 23 ­ October 22 Suddenly you've found your energy again.

Your engine is oiled up and ready to go, Libra. Put yourself in high gear and don't let anything stand in your way. If disagree­ ments with others arise, try to keep focused on the lessons that come from the situation instead of dwelling on the negative aspects. Take things to a higher level and don't be afraid to suggest radical change.

Scorpio October 23 ­ November 21 You may be a bit daunted by the frenzy of energy present in the air today, Scorpio.

Try not to get thrown off balance by others who may be more abrasive than usual.

Use this as a time of release for yourself.

By letting others open up the cold, hard truth to you, you have the opportunity to let out your own truth as well. Unexpected events are likely to come on the scene.

Sagittarius November 22 ­ December 21 Don't be surprised if unexpected actions from others give your heart a jolt today, Sagittarius. You could find that a strong force of erratic energy affects your emo­ tions. It's working to stir things up quite a bit.

Use your beliefs and morals as guideposts to help you navigate difficult waters. Stay true to yourself and don't let others make decisions for you. You have the power to make very significant breakthroughs.

Capricorn December 22 ­ January 19 It's time to implement the plans you fos­ tered as a result of internal processes over the past few days, Capricorn. Hop in the driver's seat and take control. As you do, you may need to erect a bit of a mental barrier. People could be somewhat abra­ sive, and your sensitive nature is suscep­ tible to harsh comments. Take things with a grain of salt. Remember that if people criticize you, it's because they love you.

Aquarius January 20 ­ February 18 Your mood should be quite good today, Aquarius. Generally, you'll find that people will react to your tendency to take the lead. Keep in mind that this also indicates that they'll probably be more likely to fight back. You may have the tendency to lean toward the bizarre and unconventional.

The route to take today is the one that fos­ ters diversity and revolutionary thinking.

Pisces February 19 ­ March 20 Be a little braver than usual today, Pisces.

Take some risks and show others that you have the strength to accomplish anything.

There is a lively, anxious feeling to the day that could make you restless. This energy is encouraging you to get up and get going. Initiate something rather than wait for someone else to take the lead. Don't be afraid to fail.

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Friday, July 18, 2014

RICHARD CAVENDER

Bluemoon Solutions www.bluemoonsolutions.es

BlueMoon Solutions is the computer and IT services com­ pany on the Costa Blanca, they provide quality computer services at realistic prices and specialise in working with home users and small businesses.

Richard moved to Spain seven years ago hav­ ing left his management background behind in the UK and decided to use his IT skills to help home users and small businesses with their PC problems. Now a relaxed 'computer man' he is out and about in the Spanish sun every day, making house and shop calls and using his vast experience and qualifications to (usually) sort out the problem there and then. Computers are his hobby as well as his work so don’t be surprised to get an answer to your email in the early hours!

ADVICE: Peter wanted to know whether there were any ADVICE: Max wanted to know how to tell Windows which alternatives to expat shield to get UK TV here in Spain AntiSpyware was the default program and how to send large files over the Internet

Q

Hi Richard (again). Once again I come to the font of computer knowledge for answers! I use 'Ex­ Shield' to allow me to access the various iPlayer products of UK television. My AVG does not like it much, frequently warning of problems. Is there another product that you could recommend? Peter

A

Hi Peter, the best UK connection type service that I have come across is “My Private Network”, although I’m afraid it’s not free! Having said that, it is only £5 a month and the service is outstanding, we use it regularly to catch up on UK TV – it even works on my iPhone!

Here is a link to where you can find out more information ­ http://www.bluemoonsolutions.es/uk­tv­in­spain

Q

Hi Richard, I am using Defender as the firewall programme and have recently changed my AV provider to Avast. Windows is telling me my computer may run slowly because both Defender and Avast are functioning as anti­spyware pro­ grammes. How do I turn off one or the other for this specific function? Our grand­ son was here recently and we took videos of him which we wanted to send to him by e­mail, but there is a 25 MB restriction on attachments in both google and yahoo. Is there a way round this? Regards, Max

Hi Max, you don’t mention which oper­ ating system you are using so I am going to assume you are using ADVICE: Lionel wanted to know how to auto save his doc- Windows 7, if you have something different then let uments me know and I can send you the relevant instructions for it.

Hi Richard, I commenced a document and immediately went to Save As and gave In order to tell Windows 7 it a title. About 3 minutes later we had a power failure which meant I lost the work I what program you would like had done. On my previous computer with Windows XP it was possible to set an it to use for AntiSpyware you “AutoSave” facility where you could select the time gap when the computer auto­ need to use the “Action matically saved your work. I had mine set to 10 seconds knowing what Spanish electrity is Center” (sorry about the like. On my new computer with Windows 7 I cannot find this spelling, Microsoft spell it facility. Is it available and if so where? Thanks ­ Lionel incorrectly, not me!), so you need to…

Hi Lionel, the auto save facility is a function of the word 1. Click Start, then Control Panel processor program not the operating system, so I think 2. Either locate the Action Center or type the word Action into the search bar in the top right you have not been able to find it as you may have been of the window and click on the Action Center icon when it appears. looking in the wrong place. You don’t mention which 3. Once inside the Action Center you will see two headings, “security” and “maintenance”, word processor you are using so I am going to assume that you click on the arrow to show the security settings are using OpenOffice and give you the instructions for that…

Under the heading “software and unwanted software protection” click on the link for “view 1. Launch Open Office Writer installed antispyware programs”, you will then see both Windows Defender and Avast in the 2. Click Tools then click Options window 3. Click on the plus (+) sign next to Load/Save and then click General 5. Use the “turn on” button to set your preference 4. On the right hand side of the window you will see a setting “Save AutoRecovery informa­ tion every”, ensure that this box is ticked and then enter the frequency that you would like I hope this sorts out your antispyware issue, with regards to your wanting to send 25 Mb Open Office to perform this action (every 2 minutes perhaps?) emails, you will find that most free email services put a cap on the size of emails that can be 5. Click OK sent for obvious reasons. If you want to send this type of file over the Internet then there are …I hope that helps, if you have a different work processor then please let me know and I will much better ways of doing it than relying on email, you could use DropBox for example and look out the instructions for that Don’t forget you can follow me on twit­ share the location with your grandson, if you have a look at our website you will see plenty of articles that relate to sending large files over the Internet ­ ter @bluemoonspain www.bluemoonsolutions.es/free­online­storage for example discusses DropBox and a num­ Alternately why don’t you sign up for my ber of other options

A

Q A

newsletter. You can do this by going to:­ www.bluemoonsolutions.es and fill in the form that is on any page except the front page.

office@bluemoonsolutions.es www.bluemoonsolutions.es Mobile: 655 044 970

Office: 902 906 200

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Friday, July 18, 2014

WHY THE PEOPLE OF HELSINKI MAY NEVER BUY A NEW CAR AGAIN

Well, this makes for a refreshing change.

Rather than coming out with a statement announcing a radical plan to ban cars from entering the city centre, Helsinki has come up with an alternative suggestion.

According to a report on the Guardian website, Finland’s capital is making plans to transform its public transport network into a "mobility on demand" system, which could effectively render the car pointless by the year 2025.

The world’s northernmost metropolitan area already boasts a comprehensive trans­ port network, including trams, commuter rail, a subway system, buses and ferries, along with an existing on­demand minibus service.

The on­demand bus system is called Ajelo Ride and it’s operated by the Helsinki

Region Transport (HSL) service, Kutsuplus.

The principle is simple enough, with pas­ sengers able to select their own pick­up and destination points via a smartphone, with the requests aggregated to calculate a route that best serves the needs of everyone on board the bus.

It is claimed that Ajelo Ride is the "first fully automatic solution which dispatches shared rides on the fly…making it the most efficient and ecological real­time on­ demand solution available".

The new plans would see this concept extended to other modes of transport, including driverless cars, bicycles, ferries, and taxis. The smartphone app would select the best way of getting across the city, with the user only required to make a single pay­ ment. Sounds brilliant in theory.

Driver spends £3,400 on failing theory test 110 times A WOMAN from London has failed the driving theory test 110 times, it has been discovered.

At £31 per attempt, she has therefore spent £3,410 on failing the first half of the driving exam ­ and cannot sit the practical element until she passes.

The woman, who was not named but is from the south east of the capital, is fol­ lowed by many more hap­ less learners including a 30­ year­old man from Peterborough who has had 86 unsuccessful attempts at the theory test.

A 41­year­old man from Birmingham eventually passed on his 80th try but a 27­year­old man from H a v e r f o r d w e s t , Pembrokeshire, has still not managed to get enough answers right after 64 efforts.

Those wanting to drive a car or ride a motorcycle

must pass the driving theory test before booking their practical exam ­ which is itself hard to get through.

The theory test has two parts ­ one made up of mul­ tiple choice questions with the other a hazard percep­ tion section.

At £31 a time, undergoing multiple attempts does not come cheap.

The figures were pub­ lished on the Mail Online fol­ lowing a Freedom of

Information request to the Driver and Vehicle Standards Agency (DVSA).

A DVSA spokesman told the website: "It is essential that all drivers demonstrate they have the right skills, knowledge and attitude to drive safely.

"The driver testing and training regime tests candi­ dates' ability to drive safely and responsibly as well as making sure they know the theory behind safe driving."

Last week it emerged that a 24­year­old woman holds the record for failing the practical part of her test the most times.

She finally passed after her 24th attempt and was one of eight Britons to have racked up at least 20 tests by the end of last year, according to figures obtained from the DVSA by the Press Association.

Needs to be cost-effective for the masses In practice, there are a number of hurdles to overcome. Firstly, how affordable will the service be and secondly, can the transport operators be convinced to join this brave new world?

But everything points to this being a suc­ cessful venture and other cities will surely be watching with interest. At 390 cars per

1,000 inhabitants, Helsinki is less reliant on cars than other cities of its size, plus the congestion on its three major ring roads is a constant source of irritation for the city’s residents.

Nobody is suggesting that Helsinki is ready to say goodbye to the car forever, but this could be a prime example of a city embracing new technology, improving pub­ lic transport and making things easier for all.

Which sounds very refreshing indeed.

Friday, July 18, 2014

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Friday, July 18, 2014

CODE CRACKER Code Cracker is a crossword puzzle with no clues; instead, every letter of the alphabet has been replaced by a number, the same number representing the same letter throughout the puzzle. All you have to do is decide which letter is represented by which number. In this week’s puzzle, 7 represents R and 25 represents Q, when these letters have been entered throughout the puzzle, you should have enough information to start guessing words and discovering other letters.

QUICKIE

Across 1 Hates (7) 5 Concentrate (5) 8 Sound made by a cat (5) 9 Function (7) 10 Call for (3) 11 Young sheep (4) 12 Cab (4) 14 Incentive (5) 16 Spring month (5) 18 Sample (5) 19 Go in (5) 21 Border (4) 22 Not at home (4) 25 Sprint (3) 27 Consequence (7) 28 Lead (5)

29 No longer fresh (5) 30 Anguish (7)

Down 1 Moist (4) 2 Jewelled headdress (5) 3 Bicker (8) 4 Verbal (6) 5 Ran away (4) 6 Fancy neckwear (7) 7 Example (8) 13 Very hungry (8) 15 Outsider (8) 17 Boat race meeting (7) 20 Menace (6) 23 Nimble (5) 24 Jest (4) 26 Angled (4)

Last weeks Solution

Across: 1 Split, 4 Dispel, 9 Mundane, 10 Floor, 11 Lost, 12 Service, 13 Due, 14 Rogue, 16 Eject, 18 Dud, 19 Connive, 20 Grow, 23 Aroma, 24 Swagger, 25 Phases, 26 Abyss.

Down: 1 Similar, 2 Links, 3 Trap, 5 Informed, 6 Provide, 7 Large, 8 Cease, 13 Delicate, 15 Gondola, 17 Towards, 18 Dense, 19 Clasp, 21 Rugby, 22 Data.

Scribble Pad

DOUBLE CROSS-WORD Solve the Double Cross­Word puzzle using either the standard or cryptic clues, the answers are exactly the same.

CRYTPIC CLUES Down Across 1 Border in one Italian 1 Academy offer leaves resort (6) one foaming (5) 2 Bend a sound bite (5) 4 Tied up on the heath with 3 Left after outstanding Ed (6) 9 Dynamo meant go mad contest (4) 5 Original toad duet is old (7) 10 Born in the cats’ burial hat (8) places (5) 6 At first Rachael asked my 11 Crazy blow­back (4) mother if nice Graham is 12 It’s exciting, for exam­ driving home (7) ple, holding a tongue (7) 7 Wise man is after work 13 Bristle, top bit taken off measure (6) grass (3) 14 Shakespearean flower? 8 Females started walk out, meanwhile everybody (4) 16 Consequently returned negotiated (5) in the name of progress (4) 13 Tale about one cadet 18 Doctor about a lunatic (8) (3) 15 Jumble given at time (7) 20 Make a card game using a broken pencil and 17 Leading by lots of games in a tennis match love (7) dismays (6) 21 Funny ditch (2­2) 24 Take a lot of time to 18 St James’s yacht club muse (5) found in a state (5) 25 Endure good man pro­ 19 Understand in depth (6) jecting macho (7) 26 Gymnastic events for 22 A shortage causing a cry of dismay (5) Spielberg, perhaps (6) 27 It can be used to caulk 23 Game for a Venetian a tree, with hesitation (5) traveller (4) STANDARD CLUES 27 Loose rope fibre used as Across caulking (5) 1 Frenzied (5) Down 4 At anchor (6) 1 Resort on the Adriatic 9 Small electric generator coast (6) (7) 2 Shoreline curve (5) 10 Burial chambers (5) 3 Prearranged formal com­ 11 Large hard­shelled seed bat (4) (4) 5 No longer valid or fashion­ 12 Making joyful (7) able (8) 13 Barley bristle (3) 6 Running into head­on (7) 14 County in south­western 7 Medical measure (6) England (4) 8 Adult female person (5) 16 Therefore (4) 13 Short, amusing tale (8) 18 Insane (3) 15 Season’s yield of wine 20 Card game (7) from a vineyard (7) 21 Ditch with a retaining wall 17 Disturbs the balance (6) used to divide land (2­2) 18 Dirty and disorderly (5) 24 Greek Muse of lyric and 19 Nautical measure (6) love poetry (5) 22 Interjection of regret (5) 25 Internal organ (7) 23 Game played on horse­ 26 Film­maker Spielberg (6) back (4) Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Dog star, 4 Duvet, 7 Aback, 9 Villain, 10 Hussars, 11 Truce, 12 Archer, 14 Minted, 18 Coles, 20 Tote­ bag, 22 Camping, 23 Educe, 24 Stork, 25 Rebates.

Down: 1 Drachma, 2 Grabs, 3 Revise, 4 Delft, 5 Viaduct, 6 Tense, 8 Knave, 13 Colombo, 15 Istle, 16 Daggers, 17 Stager, 18 Cocks, 19 Skink, 21 Blunt.

FILL IT IN

Complete the crossword grid by using the given words:

3 letter words Are Egg Ran 4 letter words Abet Agog Airs Alas Aunt Clog Eden Edge Else Erin Even

Ever Idea Idle Idol Knee Ling Mono Onto Paws Pose Puck Ream Rete Rips Seed Sire Sled Slid

Some Teat Test Tree Used Zero Zeta 5 letter words About Amirs Blues Curie Doled Endue Humid Inept Islet

Moors Ogles Orate Reeds Rinse Shear Sings Skits Slide Stoke Studs Talus Traps Trust Wench Yeast 6 letter words

Budget Issuer Loathe Pampas Sacred Scared Wisest Worsen 7 letter words Nursery Outdoor Resells Sessile 8 letter words Armourer Orreries

SPANISH-ENGLISH CROSSWORD

Improve your Spanish ­ clues in Spanish, answers in English or vice versa.

Across 1 To parade (8) 4 Fig (4) 7 Costuras (puntadas) (5) 9 Goodbye (5) 11 Pequeño (5) 12 Cisnes (aves) (5) 13 Plata (metal) (6) 15 Más cercano (6) 19 Holy (life, person) (5) 21 Canciones (5) 23 Stamp (postage stamp) (5) 24 Cobertizos (para ani­ males, herramientas) (5) 25 Enfermo (4) 26 Butterfly (insect) (8)

Down 1 Afterwards (7) 2 Focas (animales) (5) 3 Kind (nice) (6) 5 Waves (in sea, lake) (5) 6 Beso (4) 8 Pala (para cavar) (5) 10 Intercambia (sellos, fotos) (5) 14 Pulmones (5) 16 Monday (5) 17 Magazine (journal) (7) 18 Broom (brush) (6) 19 Sacks (bags) (5) 20 Búhos (4) 22 Floor (of room) (5)

37

Friday, July 18, 2014 Across 1 Statement or theory that is put forward as a premise to be maintained or proved (6) 5 Large German dirigi­ ble airship of the early 20th century, long and cylindri­ cal in shape and with a rigid framework. They were used during the First World War for reconnaissance and bombing and after the war as passenger trans­ ports until the 1930s. (8) 9 SI unit of mass, approximately 2.205 lb (8) 10 Large fish­eating bird of prey with long, narrow wings and a white under­ side and crown (6) 11 Duplicator that trans­ mits an exact copy of a document made by elec­ tronic scanning by wire or radio (3,7) 12 Newts in their terres­ trial stage of development (4) 13 International humani­ tarian organisation set up in 1864 at the instigation of

the Swiss philanthropist Henri Dunant that brings relief to victims of war or natural disaster (3,5) 16 Rolling Stones ninth studio album, released in April 1971: ­­­­­­ Fingers (6) 17 Alcoholic beverage that is distilled rather than fermented (6) 19 Nickname of American frontierswoman and professional scout Martha Jane Canary (1852 –1903): ­­­­­­­­ Jane (8) 21 Town in Greater Manchester that is home to the Aviva Premiership pro­ fessional rugby union club the Sharks (4) 22 Tapering structure hanging like an icicle from the roof of a cave, formed of calcium salts deposited by dripping water (10) 25 Revolutionary who overthrew Cuban president Fulgencio Batista in 1959 and set up a Marxist social­ ist state: Fidel ­­­­­­ (6) 26 Tangerines of a hardy loose­skinned variety, origi­

SUDOKU (Very easy)

Quiz Word

nally grown in Japan (8) 27 Tall cap of black fur worn ceremonially by cer­ tain troops, such as the Guards in the British army

(8) 28 Lying face upward (6) Down 2 Chief port of Israel, in

the north­west of the coun­ try on the Mediterranean coast (5) 3 Stage name of singer, backed by the Hurricanes, who was born in Liverpool in 1938 and originally named Alan Caldwell: Rory ­­­­­ (5) 4 Hot wind, often dusty or rainy, blowing from North Africa across the Mediterranean to southern Europe (7) 5 Corpses said to be revived by witchcraft, espe­ cially in certain African and Caribbean religions (7) 6 Skill or expertise in a particular activity or field (7) 7 Mild or indirect word or expression substituted for one considered to be too harsh or blunt when refer­ ring to something unpleas­ ant or embarrassing (9) 8 Picture of a person, especially one sought by the police, reconstructed from typical facial features according to witnesses (9)

14 Long, open, level area, typically beside the sea, along which people may walk for pleasure (9) 15 Person who makes and repairs wooden objects and structures (9) 18 Small area of grass that is thicker or longer than the grass growing around it (7) 19 1977 UK number one hit single by Manhattan Transfer: ­­­­­­­ D'Amour (7) 20 Rough shelters whose roofs have only one slope (4­3) 23 American business magnate and investor who hosts the American version of reality television game show The Apprentice: Donald ­­­­­ (5) 24 American novelist and humorist whose best­ known novels include: The Adventures of Tom Sawyer (1876) and The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn (1885): Mark ­­­­­ (5)

SALLY’S SIMPLE SPANISH

VIAJAR EN AVION

Match these words with their Spanish translations then find them in the wordsearch.

(Answers below)

geography QUIZ

ANSEWRS 1. Burma 2. Duluth 3. Mexico 4. China 5. Rotterdam 6. Iraq 7. The Nile 8. San Francisco 9. Congo 10. London Bridge 11.

Boston 12. Asia 13. Uruguay 14. Africa

Last Week’s Solutions Code Cracker Last weeks Quiz Word Solution Across: 1 Starfish, 5 Oscars, 9 Unawares, 10 Ledger, 11 Grenoble, 12 Thrift, 14 Balderdash, 18 Alexandria, 22 Earwig, 23 Paleface, 24 Lisbon, 25 Careless, 26 Oyster, 27 Fantasia.

Down: 1 Snudge, 2 Azalea, 3 Flagon, 4 Steel bands, 6 Shephard, 7 Anglican, 8 Scratchy, 13 Addis Ababa, 15 Waterloo, 16 Neurosis, 17 Camisole, 19 Regent, 20 Daleks, 21 Geisha.

fila

aterrizaje

ida y vuelta

despegue

la azafata

el aeropuerto

llegadas

el avión

pasajero

el mostrador

pista

el pasaporte

salidas

el visado

sobrepeso

equipaje

tripulación

Empareja estas palabras ­ Match the Spanish and English words You will find the answers at the bottom of the quiz.

1.aduana, 2.aterrizaje,

15.pista, 16.salidas,

(flight), l.arrivals, m.take off,

3.despegue, 4.el aeropuerto,

17.sobrepeso, 18.tripulación

n.the plane, o.the counter/desk,

5.el avión, 6.el mostrador,

a.the air hostess, b.the airport,

p.luggage, q.over weight,

7.el pasaporte, 8.el visado,

c.the passport, d.runway,

r.the queue.

9.equipaje, 10.fila, 11.ida

e.departures, f.the landing,

y vuelta, 12.la azafata,

g.passenger, h.the crew,

13.llegadas, 14.pasajero,

i.the visa, j.customs, k.return

Soduko

Span ­ Eng

Quizword

Answers: 1j, 2f, 3m, 4b, 5n, 6o, 7c, 8i, 9p, 10r, 11k, 12a, 13l, 14g, 15d, 16e, 17q, 18h.

1. Of Which Country Is Rangoon The Capital?

2. Name the city at the west end of Lake Superior.?

3. In which country would you find the Yucatan penin­ sula?

4. In which country did acupuncture originate?

5. What city stands on the Maas River?

6. What countries national anthem is Land of Two Rivers?

7. On which River does the City of Cairo stand?

8. What city was Fillmore west in?

9. Until 1971 what was the name of Zaire?

10. Which London Bridge Had A Gate Over It On Which The Heads Of Criminals Were Displayed On Spikes As A Deterrent?

11. Name the capital city of Massachusetts.?

12. In which continent would you find the Yellow River?

13. Montevideo Is The Capital Of Which South American Country?

14. What continent's westernmost point is called Cape Verde?

aduana

Fill It In

38

Friday, July 18, 2014

TRELI ON THE TELLY with ALEX TRELINSKI The biggest TV awards are the Emmys, and the nomi­ nations are out for next month’s ceremony with an impossible list of selec­ tions to work out.

Just purely in the best drama series, how do you pick a winner out of Game of Thrones, Downton Abbey, True Detective, Mad Men, Breaking Bad and House of Cards? Good luck on that one! The same goes across all the categories, with in the best supporting actor award, you have a crazy showdown between Jim Carter (Downton), Mandy Patinkin (Homeland), Jon Voight (ter­ rific in Ray Donovan), Peter Dinklage (my star of Game of Thrones), and Josh Charles (now sadly deceased from The Good Wife). It’s a far more exciting list than the BAFTA’s can ever come up with, and it’s more represen­ tative of main­stream quality

TV DRAMA’S WELL YANKED

TV viewing, and doesn’t cru­ elly snub Downton Abbey which British judges don’t seem to care for.

In a recent speech, the BBC’s director of television, Danny Cohen said that British TV drama was every bit as good as that produced in America, and that UK viewers only see the decent

shows. He immediately men­ tioned Downton Abbey and Broadchurch (ITV have bought the American re­ make), but let’s be honest Danny, the amount of shows that people talk about that come from the UK is a very small list. Of new stuff this year we’ve had Line of Duty and Happy Valley (totaling 12

episodes between them), and not one major breakout series from the non­BBC channels. The Honourable Woman is superb, and we have Peter Capaldi to look forward to as Doctor Who in addition to a second series of The Fall and Peaky Blinders (including Tom Hardy joining the cast). I can easily reel off

30 American drama shows that have just finished or are currently running that are all entertaining and vary from brilliant to enjoyable popcorn fare.

The UK is simply light years behind the States in the world of drama produc­ tion, and that’s because the priorities are all wrong. Too many resources are thrown at putting on prime­time soaps (with dwindling audi­ ences), and these should be reallocated for new projects.

We could all live I’m sure with just twice­weekly visits to Albert Square, Weatherfield, and Emmerdale (like back in the eighties), plus a weekly combined Holby/Casaulty show, freeing up resources for new creative dramas that bring something new to the table. US TV has no soaps in their prime­schedules, and

though their daytime sched­ ules are a mix of soaps and cheap talk shows, I don’t see what they do in their off­peak hours as being any worse than the boring stream of makeover shows across UK TV. In fact, I’d sooner bring back the Test Card during daytime hours to make sure that money goes into making some decent primetime drama!

Much as I highly rate the Sky Sports coverage of golf, it’s a very pleasant rar­ ity to enjoy commercial­free coverage of the Open this weekend at Royal Liverpool thanks to the BBC. It’s been an excellent watch so far, and of course we get the services of one of the few commentating legends that are still with us, in the form of Peter Alliss.

Friday July 18 01:10 Holiday Weatherview

00:20 The Fifteen Billion Pound

01:15 BBC News

Railway

07:00 Breakfast

01:20 Panorama

10:15 Heir Hunters 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Animal SOS 12:30 Street Patrol UK

01:50 David Beckham into the Unknown 03:20 This Is BBC Two 04:55 Locomotion: Dan Snow's History of Railways

13:15 Bargain Hunt

05:35 Schools ­ Why the Industrial

14:00 BBC News; Weather

Revolution Happened Here

14:30 BBC Regional News and

05:55 Schools ­ Once Upon a Time

Weather

06:35 Schools ­ Seeking Refuge

14:45 Doctors

07:00 Homes Under the Hammer

15:15 Perfection

08:00 Animal SOS

16:00 Escape to the Country

08:30 The Great British Sewing

16:45 Wanted Down Under 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News

Bee 09:30 First Time on the Front Line 10:00 Golf: The Open Championship 21:00 BBC Proms 2014

19:30 BBC London News

22:45 QI XL

20:00 The One Show

23:30 Newsnight

20:30 The Village That's Falling into the Sea 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 Celebrity MasterChef 23:00 BBC News 23:25 National Lottery Update 23:25 BBC Regional News and Weather 23:35 New Tricks

00:40 01:30 04:00 04:25 05:15 06:05 07:00 09:30 10:25 11:30 13:30 Mel 14:30 14:55 15:00 16:00 16:59 17:00 18:00 19:00 19:30 20:00 20:30 21:00 21:30 22:00 23:00 23:30 23:40

The Dentists Jackpot247 Tonight ITV Nightscreen May the Best House Win The Jeremy Kyle Show Good Morning Britain Lorraine The Jeremy Kyle Show This Morning Let's Do Lunch with Gino & ITV News and Weather ITV News Meridian The Speakmans Dickinson's Real Deal ITV Meridian Weather Tipping Point The Chase ITV News Meridian ITV News and Weather Emmerdale Coronation Street The Cruise Ship Coronation Street Doc Martin ITV News at Ten and Weather ITV News Meridian The Kingdom

CELEBRITY MASTERCHEF The final is here and the three remaining contest­ ants face the most demanding test of their culinary credentials so far when they enter the restaurant kitchen of Italian chef Francesco Mazzei, who guides them as they produce a meal for a quartet of Italian cookery experts ­ Antonio Carluccio, Giorgio Locatelli, Theo Randall and Aldo Zilli.

00:05 Beauty Queen or Bust 01:05 One Born Every Minute 02:00 The Auction House 02:55 This Old Thing: The Vintage Clothes Show 03:50 Born in the Wild 04:45 Dispatches 05:15 Food Unwrapped 05:40 River Cottage 06:05 Deal or No Deal 07:00 Countdown 07:45 3rd Rock from the Sun 08:35 The King of Queens 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 11:00 Undercover Boss USA 12:00 Come Dine with Me: Ireland 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Come Dine with Me: Ireland 14:40 Four in a Bed 15:40 Countdown 16:30 Deal or No Deal 17:30 Ultimate Dealer 18:00 Couples Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 The Million Pound Drop 22:00 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown 23:00 Friday Night Dinner 23:30 The Inbetweeners

00:00 Big Brother's Bit on the Side 01:00 SuperCasino 04:10 MH370: The Flight That Vanished 05:00 Wildlife SOS 05:20 HouseBusters 05:45 House Doctor 06:35 Great Artists 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 08:00 Pip Ahoy!

08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Little Princess 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:30 Milkshake! Monkey 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Cowboy Builders 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 Burden of Evil 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 Cricket 2014 21:00 On the Yorkshire Buses 22:00 Big Brother 23:35 Big Brother's Bit on the Side

39

Saturday July 19 07:00 This Is BBC Two 00:35 EastEnders 02:35 Weather for the Week Ahead 02:40 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 11:00 Golf: The Open Championship 13:00 BBC News; Weather 13:10 Golf: The Open Championship 18:25 Formula 1 19:40 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 20:00 A Question of Sport: Super Saturday 20:40 The National Lottery: Break the Safe 21:30 Live at Edinburgh Castle 23:30 National Lottery Update 23:50 Shanghai Knights

19/07 00:00 BBC2 00:00 Weather 00:05 T in the Park 2014 02:05 Shopgirls: The True Story of Life Behind the Counter 03:05 This Is BBC Two

07:10 The Falcon Takes Over 08:15 The Falcon's Brother 09:15 The Living Planet 10:10 Fred Dibnah's Industrial Age 10:40 Great British Railway Journeys 11:10 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites 12:40 Food & Drink 13:10 Rick Stein's Spain 14:10 Talking Pictures 15:00 Becket 17:25 Hive Alive 18:25 Golf: The Open Championship 20:45 Flog It! 21:30 Dad's Army 22:00 The Men Who Made Us Spend 23:00 Zodiac

01:40 Jackpot247 04:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 04:40 ITV Nightscreen 07:00 Fort Boyard Ultimate Challenge 07:25 Dino Dan 07:50 Canimals 08:05 Sooty 08:20 Digimon Fusion 08:45 Mr Bean: The Animated Series 09:00 Adventure Time 09:25 ITV News 09:30 Weekend 10:25 The Hungry Sailors 11:25 Murder, She Wrote 12:20 ITV News and Weather 12:29 ITV Meridian Weather 12:30 Storage Hoarders 13:30 All Star Mr & Mrs 14:30 Dinner Date 15:30 All Star Family Fortunes 16:15 Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure 18:00 Scooby­Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed 19:35 ITV News Meridian 19:45 ITV News and Weather 20:00 You've Been Framed!

20:30 Tipping Point: Lucky Stars 21:30 Star Wars Episode I: the Phantom Menace

00:05 01:05 02:40 Show 03:10 03:35 04:20 05:00 05:15 06:10 07:05 07:30 08:30 09:00 10:00 11:05 12:00 13:00 13:30 14:30 17:10 19:40 20:05 21:00 22:00

Rude Tube What Happens in Vegas The Angelos Epithemiou Derek Desperate Housewives Revenge Kirstie's Vintage Gems River Cottage Deal or No Deal The Hoobs Trans World Sport The Grid The Morning Line Frasier Deal or No Deal The Big Bang Theory The Simpsons The Tomorrow People Channel 4 Racing Come Dine with Me Channel 4 News The Restoration Man Grand Designs Rise of the Planet of the Apes

HOLIDAY LOVE RATS EXPOSED Documentary telling the stories of Brits who have been conned out of tens of thousands of pounds and left broken­hearted by people preying on sin­ gle holiday­makers looking for love. Jeannette was swept off her feet by Rudiger in Sorrento, Italy, and over the next nine months spent £20,000 on him, only to discover he was wanted in several coun­ tries for duping women.

00:35 Stand by Your Man 01:15 SuperCasino 04:10 The Trial of Gillian Taylforth 05:00 Wildlife SOS 05:20 HouseBusters 05:45 House Doctor 06:35 Great Artists 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Abby's Flying Fairy School 07:25 Bubble Guppies 07:35 The Mr Men Show 07:50 Chloe's Closet 08:05 Roobarb and Custard Too 08:10 Bananas in Pyjamas 08:25 Make Way for Noddy 08:35 Milkshake! Monkey 08:40 City of Friends 08:55 Little Princess 09:05 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:25 Angelina Ballerina 09:45 Rupert Bear 10:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:15 Jelly Jamm 10:30 LazyTown 11:00 Access 11:10 The Dog Rescuers 12:10 Big Brother 13:40 Criminals: Caught on Camera 14:05 NCIS 16:05 Hell Boats 17:55 Operation Pacific 20:00 Cricket 2014 20:55 5 News Weekend 21:00 Holiday Love Rats Exposed 22:00 Big Brother 23:00 Benefits Britain: Life on the Dole

Sunday July 20 07:00 This Is BBC Two 01:35 Weather for the Week Ahead

07:40 A Walk in the Sun

01:40 BBC News

09:30 Monty Don's French

07:00 Breakfast

Gardens

10:00 The Andrew Marr Show

10:30 Countryfile

11:00 Sunday Morning Live

11:30 Golf: The Open

12:00 Fast Tales

Championship

12:30 Golf: The Open

12:30 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites

Championship

14:00 Rick Stein's Spain

13:00 BBC News

15:00 Flog It! Trade Secrets

13:05 Weather for the Week Ahead

15:30 Escape to the Country

13:10 Golf: The Open

16:30 Lifeline

Championship

16:40 Songs of Praise

20:00 BBC News; Regional News

17:15 Grand Prix

and Weather

20:00 Formula 1

20:20 Countryfile

21:30 Dragons' Den

21:10 Antiques Roadshow

22:30 Britain's Flying Past

22:10 Seven Wonders of the

23:30 Mock the Week

Commonwealth

00:00 ITV News and Weather 00:14 ITV Meridian Weather 00:15 Ocean's Eleven 02:30 Jackpot247 04:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 04:40 ITV Nightscreen 07:00 Fort Boyard Ultimate Challenge 07:25 Dino Dan 07:50 Canimals 08:05 Sooty 08:20 Digimon Fusion 08:45 Mr Bean: The Animated Series 09:00 Deadtime Stories 09:25 ITV News 09:30 Weekend 10:25 May the Best House Win 11:25 Murder, She Wrote 12:20 ITV News and Weather 12:29 ITV Meridian Weather 12:30 Love Your Garden 13:30 Long Lost Family 14:35 Columbo: Any Old Port in a Storm 16:35 Midsomer Murders 18:30 Tipping Point 19:30 ITV News Meridian 19:45 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Catchphrase 21:00 Foyle's War 23:00 ITV News and Weather 23:14 ITV Meridian Weather 23:15 Testing Britain's Worst Drivers: Crash Course

DRAGONS' DEN

23:10 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 23:35 Murdered by My Boyfriend

20/07 01:35 BBC2 01:35 Keeping Up with the Steins 03:00 This Is BBC Two

New series. Evan Davis presents the return of the business ideas contest, with Duncan Bannatyne having announced that this series will be his last.

He is joined once again by Peter Jones, Deborah Meaden, Kelly Hoppen and Piers Linney to evaluate a selection of pitches, including a toe­tapping rou­ tine that sees the Dragons up on their feet.

00:00 Predator 2 02:05 Utopia 03:05 Utopia 04:05 Hollyoaks 06:15 River Cottage 07:10 The Hoobs 07:35 The Hoobs 08:00 FIM World Superbikes 08:30 British GT Championship 08:55 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:25 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:55 Frasier 10:30 Frasier 11:00 Sunday Brunch 14:30 Live Athletics 17:05 Couples Come Dine with Me 18:10 Channel 4 News 18:40 Hugo 21:00 The Mill 22:00 Child Genius 23:00 Love & Other Drugs

00:00 Big Brother's Bit on the Psych 01:00 SuperCasino 04:10 Webcam Girls: At Your Service 05:00 Great Scientists 05:25 Make It Big 05:50 The Funky Valley Show 06:00 Angels of Jarm 06:10 Roary the Racing Car 06:20 Angels of Jarm 06:30 The Funky Valley Show 06:40 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Abby's Flying Fairy School 07:25 Bubble Guppies 07:35 The Mr Men Show 07:50 Chloe's Closet 08:00 Milkshake! Monkey 08:05 Roobarb and Custard Too 08:10 Bananas in Pyjamas 08:25 Make Way for Noddy 08:40 City of Friends 08:50 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 08:55 Little Princess 09:05 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:20 Milkshake! Bop Box 09:25 Angelina Ballerina 09:45 Rupert Bear 10:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:15 Jelly Jamm 10:30 LazyTown 11:00 Power Rangers Megaforce 12:05 Meerkat Manor 12:30 Access 12:35 Big Brother 13:35 Click 15:40 Lost in Space 18:10 Big Momma's House 20:00 Cricket 2014 20:55 5 News Weekend 21:00 My Child Is a Monkey 22:00 Big Brother 23:00 The Book of Eli

40

Monday July 21 00:35 The Greatest Game Ever Played 02:30 Weather for the Week Ahead 02:35 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Heir Hunters 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Animal SOS 12:30 Street Patrol UK 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Perfection 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 Wanted Down Under 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 How Safe Is Your House?

21:00 EastEnders 21:30 Panorama 22:00 John Bishop's Australia 23:00 BBC News 23:25 BBC Regional News and Weather 23:35 Kevin Bridges Live at the Commonwealth 21/07 00:00 BBC2 00:00 The Quiet American 01:35 Countryfile 02:30 Holby City

03:30 This Is BBC Two 07:05 Homes Under the Hammer 08:05 Animal SOS 08:35 Street Patrol UK 09:20 Call the Council 10:05 The Quest for Bannockburn 11:05 Watchdog Test House 11:35 Click 12:00 BBC News 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Breakaway 14:45 The Secret Life of Walter Mitty 16:30 The Hairy Bikers' Food Tour of Britain 17:15 Natural World 18:15 Antiques Roadshow 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Flog It! Trade Secrets 20:00 Antiques Road Trip 21:00 University Challenge 21:30 Food & Drink 22:00 This World 23:00 QI 23:30 Newsnight

00:15 01:10 03:25 04:10 05:00 05:15 06:05 07:00 09:30 10:25 11:30 13:30 Mel 14:30 14:55 15:00 16:00 16:59 17:00 18:00 19:00 19:30 20:00 20:30 21:00 21:30 22:00 23:00 23:30 23:40

The Cube The Store The Jeremy Kyle Show USA Motorsport UK ITV Nightscreen Britain's Best Bakery The Jeremy Kyle Show Good Morning Britain Lorraine The Jeremy Kyle Show This Morning Let's Do Lunch with Gino & ITV News and Weather ITV News Meridian The Speakmans Dickinson's Real Deal ITV Meridian Weather Tipping Point The Chase ITV News Meridian ITV News and Weather Emmerdale Coronation Street Countrywise Coronation Street Long Lost Family ITV News at Ten and Weather ITV News Meridian You Saw Them Here First

01:10 The Million Pound Drop 02:05 Lady Chatterley 04:55 River Cottage 05:50 Kirstie's Handmade Treasures 06:05 Deal or No Deal 07:00 Countdown 07:45 3rd Rock from the Sun 08:35 The King of Queens 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 11:00 Undercover Boss USA 12:00 Come Dine with Me: Ireland 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Come Dine with Me: Ireland 14:40 Four in a Bed 15:40 Countdown 16:30 Deal or No Deal 17:30 Ultimate Dealer 18:00 Couples Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 Dispatches 21:30 Food Unwrapped 22:00 Royal Marines Commando School 23:00 Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares USA

FOOD UNWRAPPED Kate Quilton heads to Calabria, southern Italy, to find out how bitter­tasting liquorice roots are trans­ formed into sweet treats. Jimmy Doherty discovers that some popular varieties of mushroom are not grown in woodland or even outdoors, while Matt Tebbutt uncovers the nasty bacteria potentially lurk­ ing in bean sprouts.

01:15 Criminals: Caught on Camera 02:15 SuperCasino 04:10 Super Skyscrapers 05:00 Great Scientists 05:25 Make It Big 05:50 The Funky Valley Show 06:00 Angels of Jarm 06:10 Roary the Racing Car 06:20 Angels of Jarm 06:30 The Funky Valley Show 06:40 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:55 Milkshake! Monkey 08:00 Pip Ahoy!

08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Little Princess 09:10 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 09:55 Milkshake! Bop Box 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Can't Pay? We'll Take It Away!

13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 Nora Roberts' Tribute 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 Cricket 2014 21:00 Police Interceptors 22:00 Benefits Britain: Life on the Dole 23:00 Big Brother

Tuesday July 22 00:15 Commonwealth City 01:20 Weather for the Week Ahead 01:25 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Heir Hunters 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Animal SOS 12:30 Street Patrol UK 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Perfection 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 Wanted Down Under 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 Holby City 22:00 Crimewatch 23:00 BBC News 23:25 BBC Regional News and Weather 23:35 Crimewatch Update 23:45 Sir Chris Hoy: How to Win Gold 22/07 00:20 BBC2 00:20 Dragons' Den 01:20 The Men Who Made Us Spend

02:20 Wildfires 2014: Inside the Inferno 03:20 This Is BBC Two 07:05 Homes Under the Hammer 08:05 Animal SOS 08:35 Street Patrol UK 09:20 Call the Council 10:05 The Food Inspectors 11:05 Watchdog Test House 11:35 HARDtalk 12:00 BBC News 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 The Super League Show 15:00 Yellowstone Kelly 16:30 The Hairy Bikers' Food Tour of Britain 17:15 Natural World 18:15 Antiques Roadshow 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Flog It! Trade Secrets 20:00 Antiques Road Trip 21:00 Hive Alive 22:00 Coast 23:00 The Sarah Millican Television Programme 23:30 Newsnight

00:40 You Cannot Be Serious!

01:05 Jackpot247 04:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 04:40 ITV Nightscreen 05:15 Britain's Best Bakery 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Let's Do Lunch with Gino & Mel 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV News Meridian 15:00 The Speakmans 16:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 21:00 Love Your Garden 22:00 56 Up 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV News Meridian 23:40 The Chase

CSI: CRIME SCENE INVESTIGATION A couple watch a human­sized hamster ball roll down the street and into their front yard, finding the body of a dead man inside. The victim appears to have been bludgeoned to death while in the ball, enabling the team to transplant the entire crime scene to the lab. Elsewhere, investigator Dawn Banks goes missing while working with Morgan on the case of a serial rapist.

00:05 The Secret Life of Students 01:00 The Shooting Gallery 01:30 Embarrassing Bodies 02:25 Scandal 03:15 Revenge 04:05 Dirty Weekenders in France with Richard E Grant 05:00 River Cottage 05:55 Kirstie's Vintage Gems 06:05 Deal or No Deal 07:00 Countdown 07:45 3rd Rock from the Sunn 08:35 The King of Queens 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 11:00 Undercover Boss USA 12:00 Come Dine with Me: Ireland 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Come Dine with Me: Ireland 14:40 Four in a Bed 15:40 Countdown 16:30 Deal or No Deal 17:30 Ultimate Dealer 18:00 Couples Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 Kirstie's Fill Your House for Free 22:00 Undercover Boss 23:00 Utopia

00:05 Big Brother's Bit on the Side 01:05 Black Market Britain: Undercover Sting 02:00 SuperCasino 04:10 Under the Dome 05:00 Wildlife SOS 05:20 HouseBusters 05:45 House Doctor 06:35 Great Artists 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:55 Milkshake! Monkey 08:00 Pip Ahoy!

08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Little Princess 09:10 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 09:55 Milkshake! Bop Box 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Angry Britain 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 Murder 101: Locked Room Mystery 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 Can't Pay? We'll Take It Away!

21:00 The Dog Rescuers 22:00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 23:00 Big Brother

41

Wednesday July 23 10:00 Fostering & Me with Lorraine Pascale 00:45 John Bishop's Australia 01:45 Weather for the Week Ahead 01:50 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Heir Hunters 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Animal SOS 12:30 Street Patrol UK 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Perfection 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 Wanted Down Under 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 The One Show 21:00 Commonwealth Games 23/07 00:20 BBC2 00:20 This World 01:20 A Cabbie Abroad 02:20 This Is BBC Two 07:00 Homes Under the Hammer 08:00 Animal SOS 08:30 Street Patrol UK 09:15 Call the Council

00:40 Tales from Northumberland with Robson Green 12:00 BBC News 01:10 Jackpot247 04:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 12:30 BBC World News 04:40 ITV Nightscreen 13:00 Animal Park 05:15 Britain's Best Bakery 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 14:00 Lifeline 07:00 Good Morning Britain 14:10 Breakaway 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 14:55 Dean Spanley 11:30 This Morning 16:30 The Hairy Bikers' Food Tour 13:30 Let's Do Lunch with Gino & of Britain Mel 14:30 ITV News and Weather 17:15 Natural World 14:55 ITV News Meridian 18:15 Antiques Roadshow 15:00 The Speakmans 16:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 19:00 Eggheads 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 19:30 Flog It! Trade Secrets 17:00 Tipping Point 20:00 Antiques Road Trip 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News Meridian 21:00 Operation Cloud Lab: 19:30 ITV News and Weather Secrets of the Skies 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 22:00 The Fifteen Billion Pound 21:00 All Star Mr & Mrs Railway 22:00 Inside Death Row with Trevor 23:00 Backchat with Jack Whitehall McDonald 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather and His Dad 23:30 ITV News Meridian 23:30 Newsnight 23:40 Weight Loss Ward 11:00 Tigers About the House

00:05 Royal Marines Commando 01:05 Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares 02:00 KOTV Boxing Weekly 02:30 Trans World Sport 03:25 The Grid 03:55 FIM World Superbikes 04:25 British GT Championship 04:50 SuperScrimpers 05:00 River Cottage 05:55 Kirstie's Vintage Gems 06:10 Deal or No Deal 07:00 Countdown 07:45 3rd Rock from the Sun 08:35 The King of Queens 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 11:00 Undercover Boss USA 12:00 Come Dine with Me 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Come Dine with Me 14:40 Four in a Bed 15:40 Countdown 16:30 Deal or No Deal 17:30 Ultimate Dealer 18:00 Couples Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 This Old Thing: The Vintage Clothes Show 22:00 One Born Every Minute 23:00 The Mimic 23:30 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown

EMERGENCY BIKERS New series. The return of the documentary pro­ viding an insight into the work of emergency service motorcyclists. Bristol paramedic Wingnut heads out into the countryside where two riders are in trouble, but finding them is a bit of a prob­ lem. Meanwhile in Cornwall, Rob has to deal with the driver of a bulldozer who has broken his ankle so badly it may need to be amputated if it is not fixed promptly.

00:00 Big Brother's Bit on the Side 01:00 Holiday Love Rats Exposed 02:00 SuperCasino 04:10 Wentworth Prison 05:00 Wildlife SOS 05:20 HouseBusters 05:45 House Doctor 06:35 Great Artists 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:55 Milkshake! Monkey 08:00 Pip Ahoy!

08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Little Princess 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Black Market Britain: Undercover Sting 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 Access 16:20 Jane Doe: Eye of the Beholder 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 Revealed 21:00 Emergency Bikers 22:00 Criminals: Caught on Camera 23:00 Big Brother

Thursday July 24 08:45 Escape to the Continent 09:45 The Culture Show 00:00 BBC News 00:25 National Lottery Update 00:25 BBC Regional News and Weather 00:40 A Question of Sport: Super Saturday 01:20 Weather for the Week Ahead 01:25 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:00 Commonwealth Games 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:45 Commonwealth Games 19:00 BBC News 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 Commonwealth Games 23:00 BBC News 23:25 BBC Regional News and Weather 23:40 Tonight at the Games

10:15 Heir Hunters 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Animal SOS 12:30 Street Patrol UK 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 Commonwealth Games 14:45 Perfection 15:30 Escape to the Country 16:30 Wanted Down Under 17:15 Flog It! 18:15 Pointless 19:00 Commonwealth Games 20:00 RHS Flower Show Tatton Park 2014 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 Natural World 22:00 The Honourable Woman 23:00 Commonwealth Games 23:30 Newsnight

00:40 Off the Beaten Track 01:10 Jackpot247 04:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 04:40 ITV Nightscreen 05:15 Britain's Best Bakery 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Let's Do Lunch with Gino & Mel 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV News Meridian 15:00 The Speakmans 16:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Tonight 21:00 Emmerdale 21:30 Harbour Lives 22:00 Diamond Geezers 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV News Meridian 23:40 Benidorm

DIAMOND GEEZERS

24/07 00:20 BBC2 00:20 Horizon 01:20 Burning Desire: The Seduction of Smoking 02:20 This Is BBC Two 07:00 Homes Under the Hammer 08:00 Call the Council

Hatton Garden has been London's jewellery quarter for more than 200 years. Located north­west of the City, it's a half­mile stretch where millions of pounds of gold, sil­ ver and precious stones are bought and sold every day.

This documentary goes behind the scenes, meeting the wheelers and dealers and bespoke designers working in the area, from a trader who conducts the sale of a dia­ mond ring in the back of a taxi, to a metal reclamation expert who gives an insight into her often mucky job.

00:35 01:05 Mac 01:30 01:55 02:50 04:35 05:15 06:10 07:00 07:45 08:35 09:00 10:00 11:00 12:00 13:00 13:05 14:40 15:40 16:30 17:30 18:00 19:00 19:30 20:00 21:00 Year 22:00 23:00

The IT Crowd Superstar DJs: With Annie The Simpsons Heston's Great British Food The Outrage Revenge Secret Eaters Deal or No Deal Countdown 3rd Rock from the Sun The King of Queens Everybody Loves Raymond Frasier Undercover Boss USA Come Dine with Me Channel 4 News Summary Come Dine with Me Four in a Bed Countdown Deal or No Deal Ultimate Dealer Couples Come Dine with Me The Simpsons Hollyoaks Channel 4 News Amazing Spaces Shed of the Embarrassing Bodies The Secret Life of Students

00:00 Big Brother's Bit on the Side 01:00 SuperCasino 04:10 On the Yorkshire Buses 05:00 Wildlife SOS 05:20 HouseBusters 05:45 House Doctor 06:35 Great Artists 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:55 Milkshake! Monkey 08:00 Pip Ahoy!

08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Little Princess 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Ultimate Police Interceptors 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 Fatal Acquittal 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 Ultimate Police Interceptors 21:00 Black Market Britain: Undercover Sting 22:00 Autopsy: The Last Hours Of 23:00 Big Brother

42

Friday, July 18, 2014

AUCTIONS

ACCOUNTANTS Pro Business Support – for all your accountancy needs in English; bookkeep­ ing, taxes, wage slips and more. We cater for compa­ nies and self­employed peo­ ple; we can deal with every­ thing for you. Call us on 966 923 963 for first consultation free of charge.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS

BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES Ref. DB6460L 85,000€ Restaurant in enviable location with no local com­ petition and regular clien­ tele. This profitable, estab­

lished leasehold restaurant has a fully fitted modern kitchen, disabled facilities and a fresh recently paint­ ed interior. directbusiness­ brokers .com Tel 966 44 33 81 Ref. DB6435L 97,000€ Large successfully run leasehold Beauty Salon near Quesada. Spacious salon with 7 rooms and rental income from sepa­ rate hair salon. All fitness machines, treatment beds and tables included in the sale. directbusinessbro­ kers.com Tel 966 44 33 81 Ref. DB6457L 42,000€ Excellent opportunity to purchase a well established and thriving leasehold Bar/Cafeteria in a central location in Torrevieja.

Beautiful established gar­ den and south west facing terrace with BBQ and all year round trade. direct­ businessbrokers.com Tel 966 44 33 81 Ref. DB6456L 20,000€ Lively, popular leasehold Bar & Restaurant in a love­ ly position on La Manga overlooking the port. Fully fitted kitchen and extensive

CATERING

BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY

sunny terraces. Freehold also available for purchase and flat above the premis­ e s . directbusinessbrokers.com Tel 966 44 33 81 Ref. DB6455L 150,000€ Profitable leasehold Café Bar, competitively priced for quick sale. Air condi­ tioned interior with stylish decor and large terraces.

Multiple income streams: food, drink, internet facili­ ties, games and ice cream.

Offering great potential for further growth. directbusi­ nessbrokers.com Tel 966 44 33 81 Ref. DB6446L 74,950€ Beautifully presented leasehold Garden Furniture Business, recently reduced in price. A successful and easy to run business with established website, signifi­ cant internet sales, cus­ tomer database and excel­ lent reputation locally. directbusinessbrokers.com Tel 966 44 33 81 BUSINESS OPPORTUNI­

TY, two clothing shops for sale either as a pair or sep­ arate, both trading, sold fully equipped and stocked, a great opportunity for someone wanting their own business, for more compre­ hensive information contact Glen on 606926437 (164)

CHURCH SERVICES International Christian Assembly, Calle Pilar de Horadada 5, Torrevieja.

Evangelical non­denomina­ tional church. Sunday serv­ ices 11am.

Children's church 11am. House groups in Torrevieja, Los Balcones,

CONSTRUCTION

BARBER

ALARMS

San Javier. Ladies meeting Thursdays 11am. Craft club, Tuesdays, 2pm.

Pastor, Rafael Restrepo. All nation­ alities welcome. Call 966 799 273 or 660 127 276.

Pilar Christian Community Church Calle Canalejas 3.

Pilar de la Horadada.

Sunday Service at 11am, and Thursday at 5pm for Prayer and Praise and Worship. Home groups meet during the week. All welcome from any church

CARPENTER

background or none. For further information contact PilarChristian.CommunityC hurch@gmail.com 968575417 or 966848806.

Reg No:2009­SG/A The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (Mormons) meet at 10.00 each Sunday at their Torrevieja meetinghouse in the Torreaguas building on the corner of Rambla Juan Mateo Garcia 104, close to the windmill in Torrevieja, 667 533 597.

The rainbow centre for spiri­ tual awareness We meet in the function room at sacos bar el leiminar just of the CV 905 Rojales to torrievieja road We have a divine serv­ ice on Sundays at 11am and on Wednesdays we hold an evening of clairvoyance at 7.30 pm Also on Wednesdays there is an open circle at 5.30 for those

CLEANERS

43

Friday, July 18, 2014 who are interested in clair­ voyance Healing is always available by certified healers after each meeting A warm welcome to friends old and new The mediums for the month of July 2014 are Wednesdays 2nd Debbie Blevins 9th Belinda & Jill 16th Trish and Shirley 23rd Sammy Fitzsimons 30th Paul & jennet. Closed until august 31st then Belinda & Sandra. Sundays 6th Paul & jennet 13th Belinda Bradley 20th ray bailey 27th Trish.

For further information call

GARDENER

Trish on 966 844 795 or Email the rainbowcentre­ costablana@gmail.com

707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 112, Spacious 3 bed­ room detached villa with its private pool is located on the El Raso urbanisation near Guardamar. Convenient for all amenities, shops, super­ market, restaurants and bars. Short term rental avail­ able. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

CARAVANS FOR SALE 2006 Fendt, twin bed, 4 birth caravan 560, good condi­ tion, 6000€ / 2006 6 birth, Pennine sterling folding camper, good condition 4000€ Call 642 301 448 (177)

CARS FOR SALE Car insurance quotes – new extra discount on fully comprehensive policies at the price of third party!

Excellent prices for expats, all policies and call centre staff in English. We will call you back with a quote. 966 923 963

INSURANCE CASER SEGUROS your insurance home, car, health, Policies available in and German.

CAR BREAKERS

­ for all needs, funeral.

English Call

Professional Business Support on 966 923 963 for a quick quote from our friendly staff.

GUITAR LESSONS Guitar lessons for beginners and improvers. Provide an insight into most styles.

From 10€ per hour. Call Peter on 966789612 or 629975378. Torrvieja

LONG TERM RENTALS Viva Villa and Vacation Services, For Short or Long Term Rentals visit: www.vil­

laandvacation.com or Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Santiago de la Ribera 2 bed­ room townhouse close to beach and shops with com­ munal pool €350 monthly short or long term lease Call 0044 7890996330 ­ 968570645 (162) Ref: 61, A lovely two bed­ roomed ground floor apart­ ment, located in the centre of the small Spanish town of Los Montesinos, With a pleasant communal swim­ ming pool adjacent & all amenities in walking dis­ tance. Long and short term rental available. Call: 965

PROPERTY FOR RENT WANTED! Properties, all types, in the Torrevieja area wanted for long term rentals.

Call us on 96 692 3963 2 or 3 bed / 2 bath apart­ ments in San Miguel. Lift, communal rooftop pool & solarium, video entry sys­ tem. Available for short or long term rent from 350 pcm. Tel 966723437 or 616 493 487. (184)

PROPERTY FOR SALE BPP­1808 230,000€ ­ 3 BEDROOM DETACHED HOUSE FOR SALE in LOS MONTISINOS, ALICANTE, SPAIN TEL: 966443381

UPHOLSTERY CLEANING

DRAINAGE PETS

44

Friday, July 18, 2014

BPP1804 3 bedroom detached villa a spacious family Villa Torrevieja For Sale fully furnished 240,000€ Tel: 966 44 33 81 BPP2896 Old style spanish 4 bedroom detached Monte Zenia property reasonably priced 175,000€ Tel: 966 44 33 81 BPP2897 3 BEDROOM SEMI­DETACHED HOUSE FOR SALE Aguas Nuevas 193,000€ Tel: 966 44 33 81 BPP2898 2 BEDROOM BUNGALOW FOR SALE Aguas Nuevas 125,000€ Tel: 966 44 33 81 BPP2901 2 Bedroom apart­ ment Aguas Nuevas 73,000€ Tel: 966 44 33 81 BPP2906 Large 3 BED­ ROOM BUNGALOW FOR SALE Aguas Nuevas 135,000€ Tel: 966 44 33 81 BPP 2907 Exceptional value 2 BEDROOM APARTMENT FOR SALE €49,950 Tel: 966 44 33 81 BPP2908 Excellent location 3 BEDROOM DETACHED HOUSE FOR SALE Villamartin €269,000 Tel: 966 44 33 81 BPP2903 Huge Executive 3 BEDROOM APARTMENT FOR SALE Los Montesinos €165,000 Tel: 966 44 33 81 BPP2899 2 BEDROOM BUNGALOW FOR SALE Torrevieja 59,000€ Tel: 966 44 33 81 Ref: KP3100, €183,000.

Three bedroom, two bath­ room detached villa, located in San Luis, on a 450sqm

plot, with communal pool.

Garage to side of house.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Immaculate ground floor Duplex, 2 beds, 2 bath, Private Parking, Situated in Novamar, Gran Alacant.

Price includes very tasteful furniture and white goods.

Walking distance to all local amenities and beach. Now only 129,750 euros. Ref No K24. 627 711 155 2 Bed, 1 Bath Ground floor duplex. Central heating, Grills, Fully furnished, Glazed in Galleria, 2 com­ munal pools, private parking and walking distance to the Gran Alacant commercial centre. Situated in the popu­ lar urbanisation of Puerto Marino. Now only 96,500 euros for quick sale Ref No. K46. 627 711 155 Recently reduced 4 Bed, 3 Bath Villa, in Gran Alacant.

Quiet Location, Exceptional Views. Converted Under build, 2 Lounges, 2 Kitchens, Private Garage and being sold Fully Furnished, now only 239.950 Ref: L81 Tel. 680333242 Gran Alacant Detached villa, located in a very sought after location.Situated on a 560m2 S/W facing plot and constructed in 2005.

Comprising of 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms (2 full baths), Lounge­Diner, fully equipped Kitchen, Porch and Solarium with Alicante &

PLUMBERS

POOL TABLES

Sea Views. ref.L81. €258,000 neg.

Tel. 680333242 Gran Alacant Town House with a difference.

2 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, Glazed in Porch, Quiet Location, Extra storage areas, and South Facing Private Pool as well as 2 communal pools. Fully Furnished, All mod cons.

Greenland Views and all local amenities close by.

Ref. No L79. 179.000 euros 680 333 242 2 Bedroom, 2 Bathroom, Unfurnished Mid Terraced Townhouse in GA. Recently decorated throughout means this property is a very clean black canvass.

Has Air­Con & Security Grills and the use of a Communal Pool. Price recently reduced to 110.000e Ref.K12 Tel. 627711155 Reduced for a quick sale to 95.000 e 2 Bedroom, 1 bath­ room, Top Floor Duplex in Gran Alacant. Very Modern Property with Many extras.

Glazed in Porch, Roof Top Solarium, Wooden Flooring.

Immaculate condition and ready to move in. Ref. K15 Tel. 627711155.

REMOVALS

Gran Alacant, Situated in the "Alto" part of Gran Alacant, this 3 bedroomed, 4th floor apartment, offers luxury accommodation, with absolutely stunning sea views, as well as views of Alicante bay and the famous Santa Barbara Castle.The apartment is 89 square meters with open plan kitchen / living room and includes all electrical appli­ ances & furniture also there is a utility room, open ter­ race, and private parking.

The urbanisation also offers many communal pools, ten­ nis courts, restaurants and bars. Ref. K20 €109,000 Tel 680333242 Viva Villa and Vacation Services are pleased to offer property sales for the Torrevieja and Oriheula areas of the Costa Blanca, Spain. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 or Visit : www.villaandvacation.com Gran Alacant villa located in a very quiet area , situated at the end of a cul­de­sac means there is no through traffic.3 bed, 3 bath, 330m2 plot, established large gar­ dens, working fireplace, solar panel for hot water,pri­ vate parking, south facing great views, fully furnished, fantastic opportunity. ref.

L85. €215,000 Tel 680333242 Beach front Line property, over looks Carabassi Beach, Gran Alacant. 2 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, Secure Underground Parking, Fully furnished, Roof Top Solarium. 3 Large Communal Pools, Fantastic communal Gardens, Tennis

Courts and much more.

125.000 Euros Ref No. K23.

Tel. 627 711 155 Lovely clean detached Villa just as you enter Gran Alacant. Very central loca­ tion, 3 Bedrooms, 3 Bathrooms, Glazed in Porch, Garden Shed, Private Parking, Attractive Gardens, Private pool Ref: K59 240.000e Tel. 627711155 Offers Invited on a mid Terraced Town house in Gran Alacant. Comprising of 3 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, Lounge Diner, Galleria, Solarium, Under build.

Communal Pool and Gardens, and with Exceptional Views of Alicante. Being Sold Fully Furnished including White Goods. Ref. K42 Tel. 627711155 (reasonable offers only) Gran Alacant, Situated on the very first urbanisation as you enter Gran Alacant, this 2nd floor duplex offers taste and quality. Comprising of 2 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, lounge­diner, independent kitchen, full roof­top solari­ um with superb views and recently glazed in porch offering extra living area as well as extra privacy as the glass is mirrored. Ref.K44 €108,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant south­facing, very private villa, with wood­ land and Alicante views.

Situated at the end of a small cul­de­sac which means this villa enjoys a very peaceful location.3 Bedrooms with fitted wardrobes, 3 Bathrooms, lounge­diner with working fireplace, fully fitted kitchen with including white goods, large front porch, solarium,workshop and stor­ age in under build, central heating, air con H/C, ceiling

WANTED

fans, grills, UK T.V, off road parking and plenty of out­ side parking also. Due to its orientation of this property enjoys full sun, all day, something very important in the winter months. Ref.K24. €237,000 Tel 680333242

QUIZZES Experienced quiz­ master/question setter with personality available to host quiz nights in local bars.

Tel:­ 664 838 581

SITUATIONS VACANT

RADIO COSTA INTERNA­ TIONAL needs motivated sellers. Spanish, English and German language is a bonus but not essential.

Training and good earnings guaranteed. For more info call 644 126 600 or email info@radicocostainterna­ tional.com Situations Vacant. Top Chef Required for The Med Bistro Bar, Guardamar. Excellent package and incentives. Tel. 0044 7917 1658 65 or email: andysteve@aol.com (168)

SITUATIONS WANTED Gardening, property mainte­ nance, translations, cheap rates call David 722521654.

SOLICITORS Need English speaking solicitors in Torrevieja?

Let us help to solve your problems with debt recov­ ery, divorce, property, fraud, criminal defence. Call us on 966 923 963, give us brief details and get in touch with your specialist solicitor today

WIG SPECIALIST

POOLS

SURVEYOR

SALON MARGARETHAS, 23 years in Torrevieja Hair/Wig specialist for Medical illness and Hair Loss problems. We offer dif­ ferent Hair Replacements, top fillers, Hair prostheses, Toupees and Wigs, Natural and Artificial hair and much more. Also fashion/festival accessories TV/TS are wel­ come to our service. Please call our salon reception for an appointment with Margaretha on Tel no 966 921 846 Torrevieja (90)

VAN HIRE

Friday, July 18, 2014

Greenside Gossip

45

IVIE DAVIES takes a weekly look at the golf scene - golfdavies@gmail.com

HOYLAKE’S SEASIDE SPECIAL

The first tee­shot was struck yesterday (Thursday) at 6.30am at this year’s Open Championship at Royal Liverpool, Hoylake, and all the long preparations have now come into fruition.

Through Grant Moir, the R&A Director:­Rules, I can give you a brief insight into the work needed to make the course a fitting test for the world’s best players.

Since November 2012, there have been five formal course reviews at Royal Liverpool involving repre­ sentatives of The R&A, the host Club (including Craig Gilholm, the Course Manager) and a consultant agronomist from the Sports Turf Research Institute (STRI). The aim is to pro­ vide a quality Open Championship venue that tests the ability of the world’s best players to play true links golf. This means that they are looking for fair­ ways and greens that are firm, dry and finely textured.

If there is a request for sig­ nificant work to be done, such as fairway realignment, restitution of bunker faces or construction of new tees, the Course Manager needs

plenty of advance notice.

Looking back at their notes from the visit in 2012, they agreed on widening some fairways to ensure that the run in’s to bunkers were at fairway height and to extend some of the greens (simply by mowing out at green height) to allow for certain hole positions to be used at the time of The Open.

Quite often when the group return to an Open venue, a few new tees have been introduced that may extend the length of the hole. It is important to ensure that those new tees are usable in the majority of weather con­ ditions, so they check that the ‘carry’ to the fairway is not too long. Generally the team try to ensure that the carry is not much more than 200 yards. Despite the dis­ tances that the longest play­ ers hit the ball, if there is strong wind and rain (not uncommon at The Open) it is possible that some play­ ers might struggle to carry the ball more than 220 yards. At Royal Liverpool they had a few fairways extended back towards the tees to ensure that they can be reached from the back tee in all but the most extreme weather conditions.

Of course the principal aspect being looked at dur­ ing the team visits to the host venue is the condition of the course itself.

Apparently there have been no concerns in this regard in the build up to the champi­ onship at Royal Liverpool.

Craig Gilholm and his staff have worked tirelessly since the last Open at Hoylake in 2006, and the course is now in excellent shape.

During these course reviews they also plan for the staffing numbers that will be required to cope with the demands of the week prior to The Open and the week of the Championship itself.

Many of the Open venues have a relatively small num­ ber of permanent green staff, and so outside support is needed. They plan the work that will need to be done before play each day, and the amount of staff and machinery that will be required. For example, as they want the course to have as natural a look as possible, the fairways cut in one direction to avoid strip­ ping, but of course this takes twice as long, so it takes twice as many people and machines! If additional sup­ port is required then this has

to be sourced and will often come from other local golf clubs and the other Open venues.

Practice facilities are very important to the modern player, and considerable time has been spent on the facilities at Hoylake to ensure that they are of the standard required. Royal Liverpool’s practice ground, situated in the middle of the course, is not suitable for The Open, so they are using part of the adjacent Hoylake Municipal golf course for this purpose. Craig has been carefully nurturing a large practice tee on the course, with the objective that it pro­ vides the same conditions as will be experienced on the fairways of the champi­ onship course. During the visits a close eye is also kept on the short game areas and the practice put­ ting green, all of which will be heavily used during Open week.

As the Championship draws closer, the team looks to protect certain areas of the course. On areas of fair­ ways that could be dam­ aged by excessive play in the run up, players have been asked to use mats for several months rather than hit off the turf. In addition, they have assessed the areas of the greens that are likely to be used for hole positions for The Open and asked the Club to use other parts of the greens in the two months leading into championship week.

The course closes two weeks in advance of the first day of official practice.

However, it has become quite common for exempt players to visit in advance of

KNOW YOUR RULES QUESTION Malcolm’s ball is at rest on the edge of a bunker and when walking by to mark his ball on the green Geoff causes the ball to fall into the bunker. What is the ruling?

A: Place the ball in its original position with no penalty.

B: Play the ball where it lies.

C: Replace the ball in its original position and Geoff receives a one stroke penalty ANSWER C: Rule 18­3b. One stroke penalty. If it is determined that indeed Geoff caused the ball to move. Relevant circum­ stances might include the distance between Geoff and the ball and the nature of the ground.

official practice and play one or two rounds. So that the pristine championship tees don’t get damaged, they will put tee protection netting down on par 3s and other tees where irons are likely to be used. As they never use the very backs of the tees during the champi­ onship due to the two club­ length requirement in the Rules, the tee­markers for practice are put very close to the backs of the tees.

Players don’t need two club­ lengths when they are prac­ tising and this allows them to play the course at its full length, while still protecting the areas that we will use for the four championship days.

Last week before The Open saw the final refinements being made to the course.

When official practice start­ ed, the objective was that the course is playing very

similarly to how it will be when the first players teed off on Thursday morning, although one thing they cannot control is the weath­ er conditions that they will face! So when you are watching from the comfort of your armchair, and admir­ ing a fine links course, you now know how much work has gone into it to prepare for golf’s super stars.

Have you got your favourite?

Mine is Justin Rose after his win last weekend in the Scottish Open in Aberdeen.

I just think he will do what Phil Mickleson did last year.

But be thankful that you are not in America because if you really want to be bored, ESPN are showing a live feed of Tiger Woods for the entirety of every round he plays. (Well! You have to ask what will they show for the weekend?)

TITTER ON THE TEE All golfers should live so long as to become this kind of old man!

Toward the end of the Sunday service, the Minister asked, "How many of you have forgiven your enemies?"

80% held up their hands. The Minister then repeated his question.

All responded this time, except one man, Walter Barnes.

"Mr. Barnes, are you not willing to forgive your ene­ mies?"

"I don't have any," he replied gruffly.

"Mr. Barnes, that is very unusual. How old are you?"

"Ninety­eight," he replied. The congregation stood up and clapped their hands.

"Oh, Mr. Barnes, would you please come down in front and tell us all how a person can live ninety­eight years and not have an enemy in the world?"

The old golfer tottered down the aisle, stopped in front of the pulpit, turned around, faced the congregation, and said simply, "I outlived all the buggers" ­ and he calmly returned to his seat.

46

Friday, July 18, 2014

BITER’S LOW KEY SIGNING

Liverpool striker Luis Suarez is now "100%" a Barcelona player, the club said on Wednesday. A 90 million Euro deal was agreed last week for the 27­year­old Uruguay international. The La Liga runners­ up are not able to present the player to their fans as he is serving a four­month ban from football­related activity for biting Italy defend­ er Giorgio Chiellini. But, Barcelona’s director of sport Andoni Zubizarreta told a news con­ ference: "He is 100% a member of the club."

He added: "Luis Suarez is a Barca player to all extents and purposes. It is fact."

Suarez will be ineligible to play for Barca or even to train with his team­mates until

November unless the appeal lodged with the Court of Arbitration for Sport (Cas) is successful. But Zubizarreta said he was convinced Suarez will be a "positive" acqui­ sition.

"We accept people here, imperfections and all," he said. "I am sure Luis Suarez will be someone positive for us in the future. Luis Suarez is an important player for this club but the club is more than its players."

The ban handed to Suarez for his biting offence last month was the biggest in World Cup history, beating the eight games given to Italy's Mauro Tassotti for elbowing Spain's Luis Enrique ­ now Barca boss ­ in 1994.

OFF TO WORK

FRAN’S THE MAN

Elche manager, Fran Escriba has penned a two­year contract extension, which will keep him at the club through the 2016­17 season. As widely expected, the Elche board unanimously agreed on retaining the manager’s services after leading them to promotion and guiding them through their first season in the Primera in twenty five years.

Escriba appeared alongside Elche President, Jose Sepulcre , with the manager saying:­ “I’m appreciative of the confidence the president has shown in me, of the board and the sporting directive for trusting us.

This display of confidence for me is a huge joy, renewing the commitment we’ve made to this club. Before last season finished, I was told we would sit down and talk. With the arrival of new sporting director Victor Orte, that remained the same.”

“This is a project in which I have blind faith and it’s one that binds us all. It’s not just about the president or the sporting directive, it encompasses the whole city and many people. If I look to the future, we can accom­ plish something I never thought possible:

being at one club for five years. That’s rare these days, for a manager to be at one club for five years and even more so in Spanish football.”

With reports circulating that there are release clauses in his contract, should a big club come calling for his services, Escribá didn’t wish to discuss whether that was the case or not, but insisted that he’s committed to Elche and wouldn’t have signed a two­ year deal, were that not the case.

Finally, Escribá underlined the importance of the fans, for the club, himself and the coaching team, especially when deciding to commit his future.

“I’ve always said we have fans we need ask little from. Our season ticket campaign is going very well. Hopefully we’ll reach the 25,000 target and surpass it. This is a project that is growing every day, so all we ask is that they keep supporting us as they have.

Their affection has helped with my contract renewal, because myself and the coaching team feel very much loved by them. We have very good foundations on which to dream and grow.”

TORRY GETS BUSY

CD Torrevieja have been busy signing up new players, and offering extended contracts to a significant number of last sea­ son’s squad, with pre­season training beginning last Tuesday night.

22 year old midfielder, Cristian Sanchez (pictured), joins from Crevillente Deportivo, who has Elche’s pre­season training kicked off matches, starting with their fixture tomor­ impressed the new Torrevieja with the squad bundled off for a full week row against Eldense in Santa Pola at the coach, Galliana with his techni­ on the Orihuela Costa at the Real Club de Manolo Maciá stadium, followed by a trip to cal ability. Also joining Torrevieja Golf Campoamor resort. They’re staying San Pedro del Pinatar as they take on Real is 25 year old attacking midfielder, Borja there until tomorrow (Saturday) before get­ Betis at the FC Pinatar arena on Tuesday Cortes Vaíllo "Borja"(pictured in green ting going on their pre­ season set of July 22nd. amidst a midfield battle), who has played for Novelda for the last three seasons. The mid­ field deck of signings is completed by the signing of 26 year old Sergio Murcia Medina known as “Sergi”(holding an Orihuela shirt), Club Natacion Torrevieja swimmer, Zoe who joins the club from Orihuela CF. Connolly (pictured with coach Juanma 4 young players from Elche CF have also Martinez) had a weekend to remember at the joined the Torrevieja squad:­ 20 year old regional summer championships in Elda, which Mario Mora Sáez "Mario"", a defensive mid­ featured 225 swimmers from across the fielder who Elche loaned to Santa Pola last Valencian region. season; 19 year old goalkeeper, Marcos Swimming the maximum amount of races possible she gained new personal best times in all her 4 events, with a new best in the 400m freestyle and then a Saturday afternoon third position for her age and a best time in the 100m butterfly (1:19:21). On Sunday, Zoe bagged a personal best in the 200m medley (2:48:51) placing her 6th for her age group.

However the best for Zoe was to be the last race, as she was trying for her second national competition qualifying time in the 100m back­ stroke, which was to be her last chance to get it ahead of the National Championships in Barcelona next weekend. She delivered by gaining the national time with a second to spare to book herself a place in event alongside her other qualifying time in the 200m backstroke.

ZOE’S SPECIAL SWIMS

Morales Marcos "Marcos; and two other 19 year­olds, Rubén García Rodríguez "Rúben" and José María Cobacho Bern "Bern".

Meanwhile, the list of players signing new contracts for the forthcoming season has increased with Carrasco, Rafa Gómez, Guillem, Micro, Meseguer, Martin, and Alexis all putting pen to paper.

The first tranche of friendly matches has been confirmed with Saturday July 26th see­ ing the visit of Elche Ilicitano, with La Hoya Lorca on Tuesday August 12th, and Mar Menor on Wednesday August 20th.

Friday, July 18, 2014

47

AUF WIEDERSEHEN, BUT...

THEY’LL BE BACK - AND IT’S GOOD BYE FROM HIM – AND HIM!

Well, that’s that then – for another four years, anyway. But I don’t think somehow we’ve seen the last of this Bayern Munich – sorry, the German national side – per­ haps announcing the Fatherland’s shape of things to come in world football supremacy.

Hey, a number of those new kinderkrauts are really young, Low’s lads could be around for years. To annihilate Brazil 7 – 1, and put everybody else away like they did was an awesome task. Did you see how much effort the likes of battered Bastian Schweinsteiger (can you get a more German name) and never­stopped­running Thomas Muller put in it to win it, even and especially in extra time?

What other memories are we left with of the 2014 World Cup? Depends if your glass is half­full or half­empty. Positive ones, like the thrilling football, 171 goals, 4 exciting penalty shoot­outs, unbelievable saves, and gladly with class winning through in the end?

Or maybe for some cynics there’s negative memories like the play­acting hurt, diving, some nasty career­threatening tackles and a few other unsavoury incidents that leave a nasty taste in the mouth?

For me it’s definitely the former. Once we all quickly got used to England’s latest lash­up and pre­ vious champions Spain’s early demise, we could

concentrate on the fresh Latino breath of super soccer springing up from Mexico, Colombia and Chile. Then there was that fantastic Costa Rica team that blew our group D apart while mastering such mighties as Italy and Uruguay as well as England to deservedly win the group. Also punching well above their weight were plucky Algeria, and as for the States, well…

Barack’s boys only narrowly went out after yet another terrific performance to announce the Yanks as serious contenders as we turn towards the 2018 extravaganza in Russia with love. Sorry, can’t leave the Americans without mentioning towering Tim Howard – and his Tourette’s syndrome. Our Tim is a sufferer amazingly – apparently it’s said the syndrome can give the Everton stopper an extra edge to his game, witnessed in his tremendous performance against disap­ pointing Belgium (N.B, shouting ‘**** off!’ at onrushing forwards is not allowed though – it’s clearly unsportsmanlike: bless…)

Poor old Mexico only just lost to the hosts, bet they had a chuckle watching with the rest of South America and the world as Brazil

semi­finally got theirs, Philled in 7 – 1 by vor­ sprung durch technik Germanic efficiency, Scolari’s now nobly fallen on his sword and jumped before he was pushed. Sound move, Phil: Neymar mind, they’ll eventually remember 2002 when you won it for them and you can sleep soundly again.

It was Alan Hansen’s swansong in Brazil.

It’s time, I don’t think the lanky Scot could have got any dourer as his chin sank deeper into his adopted Liverpool­red chest, no more wondering where he got that scar on his forehead. I loved the telly coverage and match timings of the WC, both the ITV & BBC boys dun well. Did you prefer Gary or Adrian, East or West Midlands products? I’m a BBC man myself, modest Gary can never do any wrong for me: anyone who can equalise against Germany (1990 Gazza World Cup semi) is up for sainthood in my book, but Baggies­boy Adrian tries hard.

Never could stick Glen Hoddle as an expert, it’s his sanctimonious delivery. Danny Murphy did OK, Ian Wright tries emo­ tionally but it doesn’t work (stick to stupid TV ads, Ian), and Martin O’Neill and Gordon Strachan can both be witty and funny. Chief pundit elect Alan Shearer’s not bad, unlike certain others you can understand his Geordie accent ­ and I’m not convinced Rio Ferdinand is up to it yet – is he QPRio yet? BTW, where was Robbie to Savage everyone?

So… it’s goodbye from him on

MOTD. And finally – it’s not the leaving of Liverpool that grieves him ­ the Premier League will carry on with another huge, exciting season ahead without loopy Luis Suarez who will be leaving Merseyside for Barcelona. We will miss his speed, skill and excitement, and the Reds will miss his goals the most. But the man clearly has deep­ seated personal behaviour problems, issues that are unacceptable to British palates. It didn’t work out previously in Holland for Suarez and now the world has perfectly wit­ nessed how low the Uruguayan can go, this time while representing and letting down his country just when they needed him most.

Barcelona, amazingly also­rans last sea­ son are clearly desperate, trophy­less even with Messi and Neymar in their side: but with the mighty Madrid men times two teams also girding their La Liga loins for the new sea­ son, Catalonia is in crisis. When Suarez at last finishes his latest ban in November the Spanish press will be analysing every move: there is nowhere to hide here in Spain and his questionable fee is frightening, espe­ cially in compar­ ison to trou­ ble­free Gareth Bale and Cristiano Ronaldo.

You get­ ting help w h i l e you’re off w o r k , Luis? And I don’t just mean from the dentist…

Friday, July 18, 2014

48

GOLDEN BALLS-UP! Messi End To A Great Tournament…

John McGregor reports

As the Geermans (think Stan Boardman) patiently waited to right­ ly collect their World Cup winners trophy on Sunday night, a clearly­ embarrassed and sullen Lionel Messi reluctantly accepted his award as the winner of the Golden Ball awarded to the Best Player of the tournament – so was he? Giant German goalkeeper/sweeper Manuel Neuer collected the Golden Glove as the best stopper, no argument there, while French midfielder Paul Pogba was named the tournament's best young player (oh, really?).

T’committee that decides such things is made up from a group of nobodies, and real big hitters like Michel Platini and that controversial FIFA supremo and merchant banker Sepp Blatter have both expressed surprise at Messi’s award. ‘Twas given largely on the strength of the Argentinian captain’s four goals in the group stages. That he failed to score again as the Argies barged their way through to the finals (thank someone up there they didn’t win it), and Messi missed one in the actual final seems to have been conveniently forgotten. What about Colombia’s fantastic youngster James Rodriguez who finished as the competition's top scorer, scoring six goals in five games as Colombia reached the quarter­ finals, before losing to humbled­hosts Brazil? Clearly four from eight is better than six from five: what non­

sense!

Finally justice was done as vunderkid supersub Mario Goetze (who?) came on to replace new World Cup record goalscorer Miroslav Klose (should he have won?). Super Mario scored the Teutonic winner in spectacular fashion, annexing Argentinian aspirations of stealing the Cup on (another) dodgy penalty shoot­out – that ain’t no way to end it, as someone once sang… Yes, Deutschland deserved to win the World Cup. The Germans travelled all over that huge country playing in different stadiums, they came back from behind to draw against Ghana, and never needed any shoot­or­bust penalty deciders… like some. In the end, Germany won with class, sheer guts and will power, epitomised by their exhilarating efforts, especially in extra time.