Week 176

Edition 176

www.thecourier.es

Friday, July 4, 2014

ELECTRIC SHOCK Power bills hiked up during the summer

By ALEX TRELINSKI Electricity bills are going up again after a fall of 10 per cent earlier this year, with a new rise as of last Tuesday (July 1st) of an average 8.5 per cent.

With energy prices in the first six months of 2014 being 30 per cent lower than at the end of last year ­ and 32 per cent less than the government's fixed prices – people have been getting refunds staggered over a period of time, but the sting in the tail is the latest price hike..

In a complicated formula, a sliding scale of increasing prices 'to compensate for reduced costs' back in January means that by this December, utility bills will only have gone down by three per cent on average over the whole of 2014. The year started with wholesale electricity 'pool' energy prices of 47.59 euros per megawatt per hour (MWh), which the government 'provisionally' increased in January to 48.48 euros after calling off what would have

been the most­recent energy supply 'auction', a procedure previously carried out roughly every three months.

For the first six months of 2014, the average price per MWh was 32.98 euros, although June has closed with a cost of 51.66 euros. Heavy use of wind and hydraulic ener­ gy over this period is thought to have brought prices down.

Actual energy use, or the cost of electricity consumed, only makes up 37.48 per cent of the final bill, of which the remainder comprises 41.14 per cent in standing charges and 21.38 per cent in taxes. Standing charges went up by 0.9 per cent early this year. Over July, August and September, electricity will cost 54.40 euros per MWh to wholesalers and, from October to December inclusive, 48.65 euros.

Despite the planned hike, the government says the extra money clawed back will not make up for the sudden decrease in January, nor will it make much of a dent on the multi­billion debt the State has with supply companies and which is invariably passed on to the consumer.

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Friday, July 4, 2014

Are you a snapper? Do you have a great photo? Send it to design@thecourier.es and if we think it is good enough we will publish it as our Picture of the Week TELEPHONE

E­MAIL office@thecourier.es WEB www.thecourier.es HEAD OFFICE Calle Luis Canovas Martinez 1. Urb Aguas Nuevas, Torrevieja 03183, ALICANTE PHONE: 96 692 1003 Email: office@thecourier.es OPENING HOURS Mon ­ Fri 1030 to 1730 EDITOR Alex Trelinski CONSULTANT EDITOR Donna Gee ADVERTISING SALES 966 921 003 office@thecourier.es TELESALES 966 921 003 679 096 309 Sally Los Alcazares, San Javier 618 391 491 Myra Quesada, Rojales, Torrevieja, San Miguel Tel. 618 583 765 Jean La Zenia, Playa Flamenca, Cabo Roig Tel. 618 898 034 Patrick International Rep 5 Languages Tel 685 901 265 Writers Donna Gee Sally Bengtsson Jeanette Erath Alex Trelinski Dave Silver Tony Mayes John McGregor

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Publication Courier South Published by TKO Media and Entertainment S.L. Printed by Localprint S.L Depósito legal A ­ 188 ­ 2014 The Courier, its publishers, members of staff and its agents do not accept responsibility for claims by advertisers nor can it be held responsible for any errors in advertisements which are reproduced from poor artwork, low qual­ ity electronic data or inadequate instruc­ tions for text or other layout features.

Further no responsibility is accepted for any loss or damage caused by an error, inaccuracy or non­appearance of any advertisement, although all advertise­ ments produced are checked prior to insertion. We regret that we cannot accept responsibility for more than ONE incorrect insertion and that no re­publi­ cation will be granted in the case of typographical or minor changes which do not affect the value of the advertise­ ment. E&OE. NO PART OF THIS NEWSPAPER MAY BE REPRODUCED WITHOUT THE WRITTEN CONSENT OF THE PUBLISHERS.

Picture of the Week

96 692 1003 679 096 309

Lola, my German Shepherd falls in love with pretty bubbles! Photo by PETER SINGH

THE LAST PASSION OF PLOD Torrevieja's local police staged a crucifixion next to the Town Hall as the latest stunt in their row with the council over their work contracts. Opened­ mouthed councillors, included Mayor Eduardo Dolon saw a crane appear next to the third floor of the building last Friday morning, with a man wearing a police uniform in a mock cru­ cifixion pose on a wooden cross, some 10 metres off the ground. Earlier in the year, a number of bare chested offi­ cers stormed a council meet­ ing with slogans painted on their chests and backs. This time, the appearance of the crucified copper outside the window led to the meeting being suspended for 15 minutes. The council though are determined to have the last word on the matter, and are planning to fine the owners of the crane up to 1,500 Euros for

using the equipment without the necessary permits! The company boss claims that the local police had told him that the hire was for some work at the Town Hall, and that he knew nothing about the real purpose that it was going to be used for.

EXTENDED GUARD

Orihuela Costa's beaches are to have their lifeguard service extended through to the end of October. The news comes after a delay in awarding a new life­ guard contract, with two swimmers dying over a fortnight ago, just days before safety cover had been put into place.

SPRAY ATTACK

Local police stopped a woman's face from being badly burnt, after her ex­ boyfriend broke a restraining order and sprayed her with an abrasive chemical. The incident happened last Saturday morning in Torrellano near Elche, with the prompt action and arrival of the police preventing the injuries becoming serious.

The 37 year old victim was

taken to Elche General Hospital, with her main injuries being to her back.

The assailant, who already had an arrest warrant out for him, was apprehended a few hours later in the hospital's emergency department after going there for treatment on an injured eye. The man appeared in court on Monday and was remanded into custody.

Over 100,000 people left Spain's unemployment lines in June as the economy slowly recovered after emerging in mid­2013 from a two­year recession. The number of people registered as unemployed in Spain's economy, fell by 122,684

from the previous month to 4.45 million in June, the Labour Ministry said in their monthly report.

MORE JOBS

WANTED – MORE HEADLINE NEWS! DO YOU have a story that might grab the headlines?

What’s all the gossip about round your way? A spate of robberies, perhaps – or maybe you’ve spotted a celebrity in the neighbourhood. Whether your news involves fire, police, ambulance, accidents – or hap­

pier events like family weddings (particularly Golden and Diamond ones!), Just phone the Courier office on 966 921 003 or email office@thecourier.es We’re waiting for your call…and next week’s Front Page story.

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Friday, July 4, 2014

CHEAPER ROAMING

Expats in Spain visiting family at home or European tourists on holiday in the country will get less of a shock when they receive their mobile phone bills upon return, with the European Commission has just slashed 'roaming' prices by over a half. The third price reduction since 2012 was brought in on July 1st, and it brings down the cost of using the inter­ net in other EU countries from 45 to 20 cents per megabyte.

Making calls have gone down by over a fifth, from 24 cents a minute to 19, and receiving them has come down in price from seven cents to five. Sending text messages now costs six cents rather than eight.

TRAFICO JAM ON YOUR BIKE

A two hour computer failure led to chaotic scenes on Tuesday at Trafico’s regional office in Alicante with scenes that more akin to the start of the summer sales on the same day! People looking to renew their driving licenses faced waits of at least two hours.

CORVERA AGAIN

LUCKY NUMBERS

A La Marina restaurant customer is over five million Euros richer after he or she bought a Bonoloto ticket that hit the jackpot on Monday. El Parador de Feliciano, on Avenida de La Alegria, is a popular tourist haunt and so there’s a strong chance that a non­Spaniard has pocketed 5.6 million Euros which should make for a useful tip if they come for a meal again!

ADIOS COSTA BLANCA

December 2014 is the latest Corvera Airport opening date prediction to come from Murcia’s Minister of Development, Manuel Campos. Speaking to a Murcia Assembly committee on Monday, he said that San Javier would in any case not close before 2016, as a form of compensation for airport operator AENA putting down a new runway there in 2011.

Campos added that both facilities could co­exist for a time, though all the timings are still down to European Commission approval for the government funding of Corvera. A fortnight ago, Campos said that Corvera could open as soon as September.

GIVE ME THE OPENING NIGHT

FLYING THE FLAG

Murcia's 33 blue flags for quality beaches have been offi­ cially handed out by the region's tourism minister, Juan Carlos Ruiz. Six municipalities were rewarded for their high standards, with San Javier Mayor, Juan Martinez Pastor, raising the flag on the town's playa de Colon. The region won four more flags this year compared to 2013.

SAN MIGUEL VIEWS

The majority of residents in San Miguel de Salinas have given a thumbs down to the area's council, according to a street survey car­ ried out by the A r c h a n g e l R e s i d e n t ' s Association. A small sample of 113 residents were questioned in May at the weekly market, and 57% of them had an overall nega­ tive view of the local admin­ istration, though there was praise for the refuse collec­ tion service and health provi­ sion. Over 90% of those

questioned had negative views over the privatisation of water supplies and a lack of openness in local politics.

27 people in the survey were British with the Association saying that foreign residents were more lenient towards the behaviour of local politi­ cians.

TOURIST SIGNS BLESSED RELIEF

200 new roadsigns are to be put up across the Vega Baja region promoting areas of interest for tourists. They’ll be paid for by the Valencian Government and will be solely in Spanish, as opposed to being bi­lingual by using Valenciano as well. Local mayors and councillors were briefed on the plan in Torrevieja on Wednesday.

Over 24 thousand people quit the Costa Blanca region last year according to official figures from the National Statistics Institute (INE). Just over 10 thousand of the departures came from other EU countries, including Britain, with three and a half thousand exits from both African and South American people, followed by Spanish nationals at three thousand.

Over 20 volunteers will be getting on their bikes over the next two months to make sure that the La Mata and Torrevieja Parque Natural de las Lagunas is safe from fire and other hazards. Members of Torrevieja’s Los Chatarras Mountain bike club will be patrolling the area as part of a new summertime initiative called 'Observadores del parque'. The cyclists will monitor all park activities, but will especially keep an eye out for any potential fire­based incidents, especially in the Campico de Guardamar.

The San Javier Jazz Festival kicks off this Saturday (July 5th) with the visit of the legendary George Benson, who'll be performing tracks from his Inspiration album paying tribute to Nat King Cole. Other acts in the month­long festival will include Bobby McFerrin and Booker T.Jones.

Constipation sufferers may have a lot to thank Elche General Hospital for. The unit is in the Spanish vanguard of dealing with the problem with only four other centres in the country providing the same kind of service. Antonio Arroyo, head of Elche's colorectal unit explained that the treatment involves implanting a pace­maker next to the buttocks to stimulate the nerves. Besides providing relief, Arroyo (pic­ tured on the right with colleague Rafael Calpena) added that further medication is not needed, which saving a lot of money into the bargain.

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Friday, July 4, 2014

HITTING THE WATCH OUT EMPTY PROMISES RIGHT NOTE The Mayor of Sucina, Jose Mercader, has become an inter­ net star as his rendition of La Bamba has attracted thou­ sands of hits on You Tube. His vocal skills are part of a pro­ motional video “I love Sucina” to publicise the Murcian village’s festival.

The Guardia Civil's pres­ ence is being stepped up for the holiday season in the San Javier and Mar Menor areas. Officers attached to the Guardia's Public Safety unit will be increasing their patrols in the busy tourist spots, in addition to taking part to various road safety campaigns under the umbrella title of Operation Summer.

The video has even popped up on BBC TV, but he’s not being booked for Songs of Praise or the next series of The Voice!

CROOKS GOULASHED 40 people accused of being involved in a major scam have been arrested in the Elche area. The National Police say that they worked for a tele­marketing company called TeleGes in Altabix, who flogged advertising space for non­existing pub­ lications for the Guardia Civil, the Police, and the Army. The main headquarters were on Calle Frasquita Vázquez (pic­ tured), with the police saying that thousands of people may have been defrauded with the sums running into millions of euros.

DON’T PANIC

BUSY LINES

Road blocks and an apparent emergency plane landing at San Javier airport led to a number of Courier readers con­ tacting our office at the end of last week to find out what we knew about it all! But it was a drama of a different kind, as location shooting was underway for the latest Liam Neeson movie, Taken 3, where once again ex­CIA man, Bryan Mills, is in another pickle. Neeson himself has been staying at the La Manga Club with filming taking place around the area, as revealed by The Courier a fortnight ago.

15 people have been arrested for stealing cars and motor­ bikes and then shipping them off to Hungary. The National Police discovered that the Murcia and Madrid­based opera­ tion had over 170 vehicles stored in warehouses before work was done on making sure that they could not be identified ahead of being transported to Eastern Europe. The gang, whose boss was a Hungarian, also had a snitch in the Madrid police who tipped them off about unmarked police vehicles and other details in the operations against them.

FORGET THE MUD

CATRAL KILLER

After the annual ritual of bad weather and mud­baths at last weekend's Glastonbury Festival, the final line­up has been confirmed for the much cheaper and warmer Benicàssim Festival in the northern part of the Valencia region, which starts on Thursday July 17th. To add to all of the top Spanish and European acts in the four day musical feast, some of the British names include Travis, The Charlatans, Paolo Nutini, Ellie Goulding, Kasabian, Jake Bugg, Tom Odell, The Manic Street Preachers, Lily Allen and Paul Weller:­ many of whom were at this year's Glastonbury.

Benicàssim is easily accessible from this area via the AP7, just north of Castellón.

Prosecutors have called for a 20 year jail sentence for a man who killed his 23 year old ex­girlfriend in Catral back in December 2010. A jury found Cristian M. guilty of the death, after he defied a restraining order, and brutally beat her up, before inflicting her with multiple stab wounds, in an incident that shocked the Catral area. Sentencing will take place later this month.

GET DOWN WITH IT

ZERO RATED

Free yoga and aerobics classes have been introduced for the over­55’s on Santa Pola’s beaches through the summer.

The local Cruz Roja will run the sessions which will be on the Gran Playa and the Playa Levante. More details are avail­ able from the Cruz Roja office on the Elche road, or by calling 965 416 150.

BIG SEIZURE

The National Police have smashed a massive heroin ring based in San Pedro del Pinatar, with 11 kilos of the drug being seized and 17 people arrested in the operation. The purity of the drugs seized meant that it had a reported street value said to be around 66 million Euros. The ring­leaders were Dutch and Moroccan citizens who would co­ordinate the importation of the drug to San Pedro from the Netherlands. The National Police say that once the heroin had arrived in the area, it would be distributed in children's backpacks to their clients. Money would be then shipped off to Holland, with over 18 thousand Euros being seized at Rotterdam Airport by authorities last April, which a gang member had brought in from Spain.

The Murcia operation featured the arrest of five people after a Dutch­registered van was seized in Lo Pagan, with heroin hidden in it. Three days later a car with German plates was examined in San Pedro, with five more people being detained. In both cases, the drugs had been concealed in empty airbag compartments. Amongst the other arrests were the owner of a butchery company in San Pedro in addition to one of the couriers in Tarragona.

Six current and present Torrevieja councillors and officials have been giving evidence to a judge over allegations that they abused council mobile phones and internet facilities.

The story came to light in an investigation by the Informacion newspaper two and a half years ago, which claimed that units had been used for premium rate services including call­ ing and hire prostitutes, in addition to downloading pornogra­ phy, games, and the watching of football matches, plus lengthy personal calls. The allegations have been strenuous­ ly denied, though one councillor, Javier Montoro, had previ­ ously admitted making calls to his girlfriend and had paid the council back for his usage. One of the six questioned by a judge last week was the ex­director of the Foreign Residents Office, Graham Knight, who retired from the position last autumn.

Spain's inflation rate is at zero, according to the latest fig­ ures from the National Statistics Institute. The rate up to June was held down by the low cost of food, soft drinks, and elec­ tricity. It's not good news though for the economy, as defla­ tion can be caused by people refusing to spend in the hope of even lower prices, which leads to a fall in economic activ­ ity.

MORE INFO

DEAD BATHER

A 71 year old Spaniard died whilst swimming off La Higuericas beach in Pilar de la Horadada last Tuesday morn­ ing. Fellow bathers and a SAMU rescue team were unable to revive him, with a heart attack being the likely cause of death.

The beach areas at Playa Flamenca (pictured) and La Glea, Campoamor are to get two temporary tourist informa­ tion centres for the busy summer period. That's in addition to the existing Orihuela Costa facilities at Playa Flamenca Town Hall and La Zenia Boulevard. The beach points will be open between 11.00am and 1.00pm as well as from 5.00pm to 7.00pm for the whole of July and August.

Friday, July 4, 2014

OLD KING HIDES The Spanish parliament has passed a law protect­ ing former King Juan Carlos from lawsuits in Spanish civil and criminal courts, including two pater­ nity suits filed in 2012 and 2013, to stem further dam­ age to the monarchy's bat­ tered prestige. As reported in last week's Courier, the special legislation to pro­ tect Juan Carlos, who abdi­ cated last month in favour of his son Felipe, passed thanks to the majority held in parliament by the Partido Popular, and no other parties backed the measure.

The two paternity suits were dismissed because of Juan Carlos's immunity as

monarch, but one is under appeal. A Spanish national, Alberto Sola Jimenez, and a Belgian national, Ingrid Jeanne Satiau, both claim to be his children, accord­ ing to Spanish media.

Under the new law, Juan Carlos will only answer to

the Supreme Court, Spain's tribunal of last resort. Similar protection is afforded to high­ranking civil servants and people in political office in Spain.

Without the legislation, the cases could have been brought in ordinary courts.

PARAMOUNT PLEDGE

The long­delayed Paramount Theme Park proj­ ect in Murcia got a boost this week, with the news that the Madrid government is to ask for 18 million Euros of aid from a European Development fund. The Spanish Trade Secretary, Jaime García Legaz(pictured), said that he was confident of getting approval for the money, and that he had met with the Park developers, Premursa, to talk about getting more private investors for the project.

Despite bold announcements from Premursa’s president, Jesus Samper last autumn that construction work was about to begin on the 72 mil­ lion Euro project, nothing has happened.

TRAIN TERROR

A high speed AVE service linking the Alicante and Madrid derailed on Wednesday evening due to flooding on the line. Torrential rain in the cen­ tre of the country left deep puddles on the track causing the carriage to veer off its rails in Alpera (Albacete province) at around a quarter to eight.

None of the 220 passengers or staff were injured, but most experi­ enced moments of sheer terror as images of the Galicia rail crash which killed 79 people last year – the worst in Spain since the 1940s – flashed before them. Guardia Civil officers who attended the scene remained there to accompany the

MORE LINGO Lessons the Spanish and Valenciano lan­ guages for foreign­ ers are to be expand­ ed in Pilar de la Horadada due to strong demand.

Local councillor Violeta Martinez says that the Adult Education Centre (FPA) will increase the classes next year.

evacuated passengers, who waited until 10.30pm for replacement buses to arrive to get them to their final destinations.

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Friday, July 4, 2014

MIX AND MATCH Nigel’s No.1 singles have a four-midable look MOVE over, Little Mix ­ Orihuela Costa is about to prove that British expats also have real talent!

Four of the region's top teenage soloists ­ Elise MacGregor, Janelle Gaskell, Holly Neeson and Gemma Garcia Gamble ­ will link up and become a harmony group during the summer holidays.

Concert director Nigel Hopkins featured individual solos by all four in his latest smash­hit show, The Best of Broadway, at the weekend.

Cantemos! youth choir, which Nigel conducts, shared the stage at the Orihuela Costa Resort Hotel with fel­ low choristers Melody Makers International. And if they sing as well together as they do individually, the only Gamble they'll be taking into

Holly Neeson, 15 the world of girl groups is Gemma's surname!

At 19, Janelle is the senior member of the new band ­ and the only one to have left school. Elise and Gemma, both 16, attend Spanish school, while Holly,

Janelle Gaskell, 19 15, is a student at El Limonar School in Villamartin.

Says Nigel: "They are all private singing pupils of mine and have been with Cantemos! for several years.

I wanted to call them the 'Costa Angels' but Janelle, in

Elise MacGregor 16

particular, objected.''

All four girls were promi­ nent in a Dickens of a medley from Oliver, with their indi­ vidual potential shone through in confident solos of Send in the Clowns (Holly), Maybe This Time

Gemma Garcia Gamble, 16

(Elise, Losing My Mind (Janelle) and Do­Re­Mi (Gemma).

Other Best of Broadway highlights included a rau­ cous and colourful rendition of Les Mis classic Master of the House, led by Eric Berg

editor@thecourier.es COURIER POSTBAG: YOUR VIEWS ON OUR NEWS

KIDNEY PUNCH Leave the transplant facts to the professionals I AM writing in response to your front page arti­ cle (June 27) about the lady who is awaiting a possible kidney transplant in Torrevieja Hospital but refuses to have a contrast dye test done.

I think this story is poorly related, and the journalist cover­ ing this story needs to read up on this procedure and the hos­ pital protocol before writing such a one­sided story painting the Valencian health system in such a bad way.

This is common procedure and the benefits far outweigh the risks.

Although risks are taken with a dye test, the same can be said about any procedure undertaken in hospital. As an example, my own father went to St Helier hospital in Surrey, England for a simple blood test in the Nephrology depart­ ment (in plain English for uninformed amateur journalists, this is the kidney department). He died three months later aged 53 after contracting a common UK hospital infection called MRSA. I also see that the photograph was taken, of course, in a bar and I believe the lady has a glass of Coca­Cola in front of her, a no­no for diabetics with Stage 4 kidney disease.

I have translated this story into Spanish and forwarded it to the hospital to see if your ‘’journalist’’ took the time to ask any Nephrologists about their reasons for requesting this com­ mon test, and hopefully you will receive an answer in the coming days from the Valencian health authorities.

Personally I believe that this story, released in summer of all seasons, when more tourists are about, paints a horrid picture of one of the best hospitals in Europe, and of Spain as a whole.

Please get your facts straight next time and perhaps employ full­time journalists. This is the main reason I refrain from advertising in the paper.

MATTHEW SMITH, Ciudad Quesada

REGARDING last week’s front (above), you should check your facts and your knowledge of a subject before making headlines.

I speak from extensive experience of transplant procedures here in Spain, having been on dialysis for a considerable time, and now being a trans­ plantee for eight years.

How dare you question the knowledge of the transplant co­ordinator, who I'm sure I know, and who is a vastly experi­ enced surgeon.

This story is full of inac­

curacies and typical of the people who come to Spain because the transplant list is shorter than some other countries, and then have the audacity to tell Spanish hospitals to change their procedure!

If the co­ordinator does read your story, he will feel insulted to have his competence questioned, and quite rightly so.

This article could also jeopardise the genuine people who are at present waiting for a transplant.

Mrs. J RILEY, Torrevieja.

TONY MAYES, who wrote the the transplant article, says in response to the crit­ icism: “The couple con­ cerned came to the Courier for one reason only, to have a story written to try to get the hospital authorities in different countries to work to together and accept tests carried out in those other hospitals.

“There was no question of this couple coming to Spain to queue jump and the pic­ ture was taken several years ago and supplied by the cou­ ple. The patient is worried that a dye test might destroy the small amount of life the kidney has and, as the letter writer accepts, there are risks.

“On a personal note, I am a journalist of 45 years´experi­ ence and my wife is a retired practice nurse. She has car­ ried out a medical assess­ ment on the patient for a local charity currently looking after her needs.

“The Courier would be delighted to publish any reply from the Torrevieja Hospital consultant.

and Jane Atkinson.

Alyson Horsfall's Hopkins­ arranged version of You'll Never Walk Alone rightly received one of the biggest reception of the entire show.

The new harmony group plan to make their stage debut at a concert given by Alyson and Nigel Hopkins at La Zenia church on November 16..

Meanwhile, a bucket col­ lection at Saturday's two con­ certs raised €670, which the Concert Director raised to €1,000. The proceeds were presented to Norah Bond, founder of the charity Help At Home, at the Melody Makers International after­show din­ ner on Tuesday night.

MMI meets each Tuesday for two hours where they learn and rehearse an entire­ ly new programme for each concert.

Nigel revealed: "They started in February ­ using this time to learn the entire concert programme from memory. This dedication is the reason why MMI proudly holds the title of the finest mixed choir in the whole Costa''.

Similarly, Cantemos! Youth meet for two hours every Saturday. Ages range gener­ ally from seven.

At the end of the show, Nigel made a presentation to each of the the three Warner sisters, Abby (12), Amy (10) and Sophie (8), who are returning to the UK .and con­ sequently leaving Cantemos!

Nigel commented: “They are probably the best­ behaved, well­mannered, courteous and dedicated children I have met out more than 2,000 I have taught in 35 years. They will be sorely missed.’’

IF YOU can come up with a suitable name for the new girl harmony group, email your sugges­ tion to office@thecourier. es An invitation to a future concert or con­ certs awaits anyone who comes up with the name the girls choose.

q

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Friday, July 4, 2014

THEY ARE TAKING THE MICHAEL, MR O’LEARY THAT cheapskate airline I love to hate has just turned even nastier.

It’s time to Frog-march the air-traffic militants out of our lives for good

Before you groan 'Oh no, she's not having a go at Ryanair again', I have to say that this time I am to some extent on the airline’s side.

Michael O'Leary's mob want the European Commission to remove the right to strike from air traffic controllers who they claim are “attempt­ ing to blackmail ordinary consumers with strikes”.

Last week's action by French unions was their fourth strike in 12 months. It disrupted hun­ dreds of flights between Britain and the Med. These guys may well have a good reason for All’s well that ends swell: Nigel Hopkins conducts the Melody Makers downing tools – but it’s International and Cantemos! choirs at Saturday’s tribute to the Best of incredibly selfish to Broadway. Son Matthew is rattling the keyboards...no thanks to Ryanair plunge foreign planes and passengers into chaos, celled. Nigel, who clearly foreigners who have Co umpteen times before ­ rather than target the people loves the O’Leary line as absolutely no involvement in and will continue to do so they are in dispute with. much as I do, told me: their affairs. unless O’Leary and his pals Among last week’s victims “Ryanair refused to pay the I understand there was give them good reason to be was the son of music maes­ extra cost of fuel to go round also strike action in more cautious. tro Nigel Hopkins, who France rather than through it, Belgium ­ but who flies Get an agreement in place orchestrates many of yet again showing their indif­ over their air space, for permitting pilots to switch to Orihuela Costa’s grandest ference to their passengers. heaven's sake? (Particul­ an alternative flight path occasions.

“They drove home to arly when Vincent Kom­ every time Les Saboteurs Matthew Hopkins was due Derbyshire and re­booked pany is defending it!). strike, and the Frogs of War to play keyboard in the with Monarch, who insisted The planned six­day stop­ won’t bother Britons any orchestra at his dad’s sell­out that they would NEVER can­ page was timed to coincide more.

Best of Broadway concert at cel a flight. They eventually with the first major holiday Presumably it’s not viable the Orihuela Costa Resort arrived at Alicante on week of the summer and at present for commercial Hotel last Saturday.

Wednesday afternoon.’’ caused the cancellation of flights to use routes along the But when he arrived at The strike scenario was all 2,800 flights before it was French and Portuguese East Midlands Airport with too familiar. Miserable mili­ called off after just 48 hours. coastlines. But I’d happily wife Jenna and 10­month­old tants in Marseille, Brest and The French air traffic pay a fair bit more to ensure son Oliver, they were told Bordeaux taking their griev­ unions have taken the there were no work­shy their flight had been can­ ances out on thousands of Michael out of Ryanair and snails in the escargot hold.

q

WHEN it comes to organising booze­ ups, the Spanish are as clueless as the butt of any British joke.

Take, for example, the temporary bar set up out­ side the auditorium before Saturday’s Best of Broadway show at Orihuela Costa.

Basically, the job of the staff was to take orders for interval drinks before the concert started.

By pre­paying, audience members would find their half­time tipple waiting on a big table accompanied by a copy of the receipt

issued when the order was placed.

All very simple? You must be joking! When the interval came, the chaos was like an episode of Strictly Scrum Dancing.

There was access to only one side of the table ­ and that alone wiped out any benefit the interval bar might otherwise have achieved.

HAVE you noticed how Brits on holiday bark out orders to non­ English speakers in a lan­ guage unique to...Brits on holiday. It’s called Shout­ As­Loud­As­You­Canish.

q

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Friday, July 4, 2014

Friday, July 4, 2014

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Friday, July 4, 2014

NOW BRACE YOURSELF! 'SO I said to Mick why not call yourselves The Rolling Stones and Jagger threw his arms around me and proclaimed that I was one super­cool dude . . .'

Mrs S popped her head around the living room door.

'Can you spare me a moment, David.' I climbed off the sofa and said: 'Back in a moment, kids, to tell you more about my thrilling adventures during the Swinging Sixties.'

I sauntered into the kitchen and in one fluid motion Mrs S lifted me off my feet and hanged me by my trouser braces from the can opener protruding from the wall.

'Wow!' I said. 'That is what I'd call one impressive surge of angry adrenaline there, luv.

Is something bothering you?'

Mrs S glared at me. 'Lord knows I have to put up with all sorts of rubbish from you but I will not have you telling lies to our grandchildren.'

I looked down at my feet which were dangling a few inches before the floor. 'That reminds me. I haven't seen

that sci­fi film Gravity yet. But what I really wanted to say to you was that I see no harm in fibbing to the grandkids about my teenage years. I'm only trying to spice up their lives a little.'

Mrs S twanged my braces with displeasure. 'Spice up their lives? You've used enough spice in your stories to . . . ' ­­ she searched des­ perately for an appropriate phrase ­­ 'to fill a spice rack.'

I sniggered at her failure to come up with anything suit­ ably damning and Mrs S twanged my braces again but with a bit more vehe­ mence. 'You're staying up there until you agree to tell our grandkids the truth about you and the '60s.'

Mrs S was now in full flow.

'Tell them how that magical decade was a non­stop psy­ chedelic roller­coaster on which we teenagers were privileged to ride. But you, dear future husband, missed it all.'

'Ah­ha!'

I countered, bouncing up and down like a demented yo­yo. 'They say if

you can remember the '60s, you weren't there.'

'A­ha!' said Mrs S. 'You can't remember the '60s because your were a boring beggar even then and sleep­ walked through the whole decade.'

I responded with the most biting retort I could think of.

'Phooey!' Mrs S responded to my response with: 'Phooey is not exactly an argument.'

So who's arguing, I sighed to myself. Rewind to New Year's Eve 1969. My

Hopalong Cassidy watch showed it was one minute to Hoppy's hat (12 midnight).

I raised my glass of Vimto and said to the empty chairs: 'Before 1970 comes in I would like to propose a toast to you, my absent friends, for making this past year ­­ nay, this past decade ­­ one NOT to remember.

'The fact that not one of you has even bothered to turn up to my party is testa­ ment to the esteem in which you hold me and my compre­ hensive Max Bygraves record collection.'

I surveyed the room and the unused party stuff I had spent days preparing: the bottles of pop, the pile of pass­the­parcel pressies; the folded slips of paper bearing enough film titles for 25 rounds of movie charades; the large cardboard cut­out donkey and its unpinned tail.'

Let's face it, I thought bit­ terly, I'm out with the in­ crowd.

Midnight struck. Bong!

Bong! Bong! I opened the liv­ ing room door and shouted

upstairs: 'Mother, will you stop shouting Bong! and go to sleep.'

'Have your guests left yet?

Have they even arrived yet?'

Mother called down. 'I went to bed early so you wouldn't feel self­conscious with your Mum about. I'm starting to think that YOU should have had the early night while I had the New Year's knees­up with MY friends. And Lord knows where your Dad is but I'll worry about him later.'

Fast­forward to the other day. Mrs S took the bread knife to my braces and I dropped to the kitchen floor.

Returning to the living room, I plonked myself back down on the sofa. 'Grandkids,' I said in a solemn tone, 'I have a confession to make. I never did meet Mick Jagger.'

I waited until I heard Mrs S's footsteps recede and then continued: 'No, Mick was out of town doing a gig that day. So I went round to McCartney's pad and said: "Paul, baby, let's sit down and write some more hits before Lennon gets here."'

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Friday, July 4, 2014

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Friday, July 4, 2014

LEARN FROM YOUR DOG Inner Peace

If you can start the day without caf­ feine, If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains, If you can resist complaining and bor­ ing people with your troubles, If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it, If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time, If you can take criticism and blame without resentment, If you can conquer tension without medical help, If you can relax without a glass of wine, If you can sleep without the aid of drugs, …Then You Are Probably ………

The Family Dog! The above is something maybe many of you have seen before on the internet, but in reality this is so, so true. I have been saying for years that dogs are here to teach humans and not the other way around. If this does not prove it, then nothing will! Some people are just so busy in their day to day life, or with their brains working at 150mph, that they just do not stop to give their dogs the absolute credit that they deserve.

Read through the list carefully and you will see that if humans could follow this code of conduct, there would be no wars, no ten­

BILLY MY TEACHER sions, and no backbiting (which is some­ thing humans are probably famous for). All there would be is harmony.

That is why I can never understand it when people tell me that they are scared of dogs. It is not dogs you should fear. We are the most self destructive species on the planet. There are humans who will kill, rape, maim, deceive, abuse…….. this list could just go on and on. Worryingly, then look at the reasons why some humans commit these crimes. It is all for some form of self gain. A dog’s mind does not work like that,

so there is no need to fear dogs.

What we all should be doing is looking up to dogs and letting them be our teachers and our inspiration. I sincerely hope that in my lifetime this change will occur and people will wake up and realise that since the beginning of time, we have been blessed to be in the presence of dogs, but proba­ bly only 0.001% of humanity has been wise enough to follow the teachings of their dogs.

As I write this article I am surrounded by twelve dogs and I cannot forget Gizmo

the cat! He is here too. If you listen you could hear a pin drop it is so silent. All of them have gone into what I describe as a meditation mode. They are not laying down and letting their mind wander, like a human would. They are not thinking about before I rescued them and the abuse they went through. They are not thinking about what they can get next. They are simply resting, but most importantly, they are resting their minds. This is something very few humans do anymore. That is why there is so much anger, because humans have too much going on in their head.

So please believe me when I tell you, that if you are lucky enough to have a dog in your life, let them do what they were sent to do, which is teach you and not the other way around. www.thedogyouneed.com is a regis­ tered charity, where we rehabilitate the most severely abused animals. Our char­ ity registration number is 1157175. If you would be kind enough to donate anything to this special cause you can do by Paypal, where the account details are peter@thedogyouneed.com or to our Nat West charity account, where the sort code is 60­16­03 and the account number is 73754900.

Even one euro will help, so please, please, try and support us.

Thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

PETS’ CORNER: CAN YOU TAKE IN A HOMELESS DOG OR CAT?

Bella is a lovely 11 month old medium sized girl, she is currently in a foster home where she is very well beha­ ved, house trained and loves to go out for walks and meet all the other dogs. She is vaccinated and will make a lovely companion.

Call: 645 469 253. www.petsinspain.com

Otto is a l Lab/ Rottie cross about 1 year old. He is a powerful dog and will bond very strongly with his owners, he is also very loyal and affectionate and will alert his human companions if some­ one is approaching the pro­ perty. Otto is fine with other dogs and cats. Otto is used to being an indoor dog and is house trained.

Please contact K9 or PHONE 600 84 54 20 for more info www.k9club.es

Born in April this year, George and his sister Emily were rescued by APAH when they were picked up running along a main road. They are amazingly well behaved for puppies and will only be small to medium sized dogs when they are fully grown.

To arrange to meet them, please contact Yvonne on 630 422 563.

George

Bella Born in April 2008, Janey has lived all her life in the APAH Cattery, but she is a delight­ fully friendly cat and it's diffi­ cult to understand why no­ one has ever offered her a home, when she would be a wonderful companion cat for someone. To meet Janey, please contact Yvonne on 630 422 563.

Otto Paco is 6 years old, in which he spent 2 of these years in the shelter, we have now found out that he loves cud­ dles and walks, good with older children and is looking for his forever home. Could it be Yours. Contact Last Hope Dog Rescue on Facebook or call 634 065 540

Dani is a large GSD cross, he was found wandering in the campo, he is thought to be about 2 years old, he is obedient, loving and he likes to play and loves to be with people. If you can offer this super dog a home or if you want to find out more about him, please telephone the PEPA helpline on 650 304 746 or email: p.e.p.a.animal­ charity@gmail.com

Janey

Paco

Dani

German Shepherd X, boys and girls, 11 weeks old.We have lots of puppies in at the moment in all shapes and sizes, People are welcome to come and have a look at them. You can see our dogs by finding us on facebook “Paradise Kennels” or call 619 938 955

RIGSBY had been running around the countryside for several weeks. He was in fair condition but blood tests sho­ wed he was Microfilaria positi­ ve. He has undergone the necessary treatment and we are pleased to say his results are now clear. He enjoys pla­ ying with his kennel mates and is a very happy, affectionate boy. Rigsby is a around 20 months old and now fully vac­ cinated (passport), micro chip­ ped and castrated. Please call 966710047 or email info@satanimalrescue.com

Teddy is 10 weeks old and is the last of 6 teckel cross pup­ pies looking for a home. He has had his first vaccination and will be small when fully grown. Call: 645 469 253. www.petsinspain.com

Teddy

Ziggy about 4 years old was found wandering in the campo.

A gentle loving dog that gets on well with other dogs and is very well behaved. We have no where for him to go he has no shelter he is in a garden which is not secure he needs to be adopted or we need fos­ ter urgently. Please call on 650304746 or email p.e.p.a.animalcharity@gmail.c om

Ziggy

Friday, July 4, 2014

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Friday, July 4, 2014

ONE RULE FOR THE BRITS Is it wrong to be called selfish? Is it such a bad thing to be called ignorant or lazy?

These are some thoughts I have recently had as I was chatting to a student during a conversation class.

I explained to her that I seem to have spent the entire month of June berating the British for their opinions on immigration and their unwillingness to integrate into Spanish life. I have sadly become accustomed to comments about keep foreigners out of ´our´ country, i.e. the UK, and how immigration is blamed for every­ thing that´s wrong with Britain. How it is used as a convenient blanket by those in power to draw atten­ tion away from the real problems of health, schools, transport, etc. Immigration is a blanket word and the ´sheeple´ in the UK and even those here in Spain are being lured into this world where everything is the fault of those who have come from other countries. It also seems to come mainly from the older genera­ tions; those retired people who see their children and grandchildren unable to work or get jobs, who think that foreigners are getting more benefits than their children because that what it says in the tabloids, and therefore it must be true! Meanwhile these offspring are sat in their council houses living off the same benefits they deny to others, although they themselves haven’t paid into the system any more than those who arrive from distant shores.

I firmly believe that in order to receive help from the govern­ ment, you should have paid into the system, of that I´m in no doubt, however, when it comes to asylum we are talking a completely different ballgame. Those that are fleeing oppres­ sion and the very real threat of death have a right to live in peace and if we´re not going to send our forces to stabilise the country (because as we have seen that´s not always helpful!), then we need to offer a safe place for those who can get

away:­ a place where they can sleep at night in the secure knowledge that they will not be woken up in the middle of the night by machine gun fire and imminent death. Although I know there are people that disagree with me on this, because I´ve spoken to them, they think that because we´re British, we are somehow different to those who live in Syria or Iraq or Ghana or Nigeria, and that in some way we are better than them and we deserve a better quality of life. With hand on heart, we proudly exclaim that ¨We are British!¨and that gives us the gold card; the travel where we want when we want card; the live anywhere in Europe we like card; and woe

betide any country that says they don´t want us! We have this right and we will use it, however we don´t want those foreigners coming from other countries to our green and pleasant land, even if they are facing the worst type of oppression. We also want that free­ dom without having to integrate into whichever coun­ try we chose to live in, however we state those that live in Britain should speak English. This is where my point about laziness comes in. If I call someone lazy because they haven´t learnt Spanish is it a slur even when it must be the truth, after all what other reason is there? Ignorance? A feeling that we are somehow better than everyone else? Or some other reason? I have yet to hear from any of my readers who don´t speak the language as to why. What´s wrong with saying, “yes, I´m too lazy to try and learn,” or “I tried it and can´t be bothered to try again”.

But back to my point of it being the older generation who seem to have the most problems with immigra­ tion. Wasn´t it their generation that allowed it to hap­ pen after all? Is this a feeling of guilt for opening the door to Europe? People move to other countries. It has happened for many, many years and is nothing new. What is new is that people are now living longer and therefore a small island, like the UK, is going to feel the strain.

The majority of foreigners living here in Spain are retirees and they would be outraged at the thought of obtaining a visa or having to wait to be accepted here. They feel it’s their right; that right that they would deny so many simply by where they´re born.

I think I have made my feelings on immigration and integra­ tion clear and I have exhausted this topic, for now at least, until I maybe see or hear something that gets me clicking the keyboard!

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Friday, July 4, 2014

ED MUST SHOW HIS HAND I dislike politicians who seem to oppose anything that a government does just for the sake of it, and even worse is somebody who supports an adminis­ tration, and then when something goes wrong, they just change their posi­ tion.

Ed Miliband and Nick Clegg both supported David Cameron in his resolute opposition to Jean­Claude Juncker being appointed as head of the European Commission. The former Prime Minister of the Grand Duchy of Luxembourg is a big fan of a federal Europe

and Cameron was quite right to try and stop him get­ ting the job. In the end, the European leaders were a bunch of cowards, and only Hungary supported the UK stance when it came to the crunch. Within minutes, the Labour leader Ed Miliband laid into Cameron saying

that he had mishandled his opposition to Juncker and he branded him as “toxic” over the European Union!

Miliband added that what had happened would make any renegotiating of Britain’s position in the EU harder, and that the country might end up losing three million jobs if it left the Union. It’s a cheap political points score, and I remain convinced, despite the current political climate, that Britain will con­ tinue to stay in the EU. As is still likely, Ed Miliband will walk into 10 Downing Street as PM next May, so what will he do to pacify anger in the country over what it views as an organisation that does nothing of benefit for them?

A cheap shot at Cameron is no substitute for a coherent policy that tackles the issue of the EU for once and for all. So, come on Ed! What would you do, because many of your Labour sup­ porters voted UKIP in the European elections?

A rational view that needs to be noted is that from

Britain’s industrialists, the CBI. They’ve said the coun­ try must stay part of the EU for the sake of jobs, growth, and competitiveness.

Despite the stupidity of what goes on in Brussels and Strasbourg, this is a key point that needs to be remembered whenever UKIP’s Nigel Farage pops up on the TV to do his panto act. The EU is Britain’s biggest export market by a mile and despite ideas from some people like Tory MEP Daniel Hannan that the UK could be part of some “free trade area” arrangement based on the Swiss­model, the fact is that Britain would lose its voice and its vote

by not sitting around the table with the other coun­ tries. The EU must be reformed and having Juncker as the new boss does not send out the right signals for much­needed change, but when the day of reckoning does come in Britain over its future with Europe, I sincerely hope that it is done on the basis of some rational factually based discussion, as opposed to populist slo­ gans that do not reflect economic reality. I don’t do cartwheels over the EU, but for me, it’s the only show in town and Britain must accept that, or face an unpalatable alternative.

SEPA. MEANS SAFE AND EFFICIENT PAYMENTS IN SPAIN. What is SEPA? The Single Euro Payments Area (SEPA) is making euro payments faster, safer and more efficient within the 34 EU countries. It enables customers to make cashless euro pay­ ments to anyone within the EU. What are the ways to pay using SEPA? 1. SEPA credit transfer A single way to transfer funds nationally or anywhere within the EU. 2. SEPA direct debit Now charges can be made directly to an account in one EU country for services provided by a company based in another country.

3. SEPA for cards Customers can conveniently use the same cards they use for national purchases, any­ where in Europe. Merchants will accept all cards, making payment processes easier and more attractive.

SEPA standards required for full introduction 1. IBAN IBAN is the International Bank Account Number that identifies your account anywhere in the world. With a maximum of 34 digits it includes the following in order: 2 digits country code 2 digits check digit 30 digits (max) account identification specific to each country UK IBAN example: GB19 LOYD 3096 1700 7099 43 2. BIC BIC (Bank Identifier Code) numbers will be phased out for cross­border payments by February 2016.

3. PAYMENT CARDS All payment cards will be migrated from magnetic strip to EMV chip. There is currently no date for completion.

Timeline for the SEPA process The process began in 1999 and is now in the final migration phase.

February 2014: Credit transfers and direct debits in the EU should be carried out in accor­ dance with the standards mentioned above. A six month transition period is being intro­ duced.

February 2016: For niche products with specific characteristics a longer transition phase is made for in some countries.

31 October 2016: EU member states with non­euro currencies must adhere to standards set for credit transfers and direct debits in euros, by this end date.

SEPA indicators. Key facts at a glance.

SEPA credit transfers as a % of total EU transactions is 93.9%* SEPA direct debit as a % of total transactions is 80.3%* EMV transactions as a % of total transactions is 79.6%** *February 2014­03­21 **June 2013 We hope this information provided in this article is of interest.

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Friday, July 4, 2014

TIME TO CHANGE WELFARE BRITAIN

LITTLE did the founders of the welfare state in Britain early last century think that it would become a huge problem for the country. It was designed as a safety net to help the poorest in society.

But in 2013, the welfare state has become such an enormous burden that more than half of households now take more from the public purse than they contribute.

The number of people who receive more in benefits and public services than they pay in tax is at record levels.

Some 52 per cent of house­ holds, or 13.8 million fami­ lies, received more in bene­ fits and public services than they contributed in taxes last year, according to the Office for National Statistics. In 1977, just 40 per cent of households took more than they contributed, rising to 44 per cent in 2000. And this is a gigantic problem for future British governments of what­ ever political persuasion. So far the Coalition has just tin­ kered with the welfare state and we´ve seen the Labour opposition trying its utmost to pour scorn on their attempts, hypocritically knowing full well what a gigantic and growing problem the welfare state is, but trying to score political points none the less.

The problem is that ever­ increasing welfare spending is being paid for by relatively fewer people, and an ageing population needing pensions and services will make the UK situation far worse.

AND now meet just one of the wretched people who are benefiting from wel­ fare Britain and are a total

q

disgrace to the country, an absolute leech and a perfect example of what´s gone wrong.

She´s Steph Cocker(pic­ tured),24, who lives in Sheffield, has two children, a devoted best friend, a lov­ ing boyfriend and a comfort­ able home. And it´s all fund­ ed by benefits of £330 a week, while boyfriend Nathan, recently released from prison, lives next door so Steph can go on claiming an extra allowance for being a single parent. Yet far from being ashamed of her tax­ payer­funded lifestyle, she describes her life as 'blessed' and says she won't stop claiming until she finds a job that pays her £5,000 a month.

She boasts: "I have had everything provided for me.

If I wanted it, I got it. Still now. If I want it, I'll get it.

From being young, I've had everything I ever wanted. If I wanted a Barbie, I'd f***ing get it. I'm not f***ing getting off of benefits. That is just as simple as that.'

You can see Steph in all her glory on the Channel 5 documentary Benefits Britain: Life on the Dole.

This was not what the Socialists planned when they pioneered the welfare state, but Steph and the countless thousands like her, is what it has spawned and, sadly, as they breed, their numbers keep growing.

The politicians who have to end the spiral are going to need the wisdom of Solomon. What´s needed is political parties to join forces to put an end to this ridicu­ lous spiral. Of course the

most vulnerable in society need help and support, but the vast majority don´t, and do­gooders, charities and the clergy must stop trying to make out that virtually everyone except the super­ rich are living in poverty.

WHEN we watch the votes coming in during the Eurovision Song Contest we know exactly what the rest of Europe thinks of Britain ­ and PM David Cameron learned the same lesson last week. He wanted someone other than a Federalist to be elected president of the European Commission, but was utterly humiliated. It demonstrated just how much the majority of countries in Europe wants to be even more united, and how much Britain is out of step. Of course, the voting was taking place at a time when European leaders were thinking about the cen­ tenary of the start of the First World War, and this must have played some part in considering how important a united Europe is. But the voting shows Cameron is going to have a near impos­ sible task in any meaningful renegotiation of UK´s mem­ bership of the EU. He dis­ covered, as Nigel Farage put it, he was the "Johnny No Mates of Europe". As ex­ pats, the last thing we want to see is Britain pulling out of Europe. It would be a disas­ ter for the many thousands of people dependent on receiving our pensions because it would put at risk the annual rises in State pensions, as happens to those living in other parts of the world.

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It may also put at risk con­ tinued funding through the NHS for our health care. But I can well understand why a growing number of people living in Britain and not hav­ ing to consider such prob­ lems, favour pulling out.

After all, why should Britain be dictated to by any foreign power ­ wasn´t that why Britain fought in two world wars and had to come to Europe´s aid twice? The UK proves it can do very nicely, thank you, by forging its own alliances. Britain would do well to have a trading pact with Europe and be able to opt out of everything else, particularly the open border policy. But that might create a tit­for­tat in which we would be less welcome in Spain. I can see some diffi­ cult months ahead for the UK and its relationship with Europe ­ I just hope that we ex­pats don't come off the worse for it.

I LET off a loud cheer when I heard that the wretched pay­day loan com­ pany Wonga may face a criminal investigation over its despicable antics with some of its bad­paying cus­ tomers. This hateful compa­ ny had the gall to make up fictitious names of solicitors companies and send out threatening letters to around 45,000 customers who were in arrears. The letters threat­ ened legal action, but the law firms were false. In some cases, Wonga added fees for these letters to cus­ tomers' accounts.

Wonga must pay £2.6m in compensation to customers who have been treated so appallingly.

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I despise these pay­day loan companies which charge the most outrageous rates of interest on the money they lend. These sharks are preying on the poorest and most vulnerable and do nothing to help but make peoples´ lives even more miserable. The Law Society has stepped up pressure for a criminal investigation to be held into the company. The society, which represents around 160,000 solicitors across England and Wales, said it has asked the Metropolitan Police to investigate Wonga and consider whether any offences, such as blackmail or those under the Solicitors Act, have been committed. If convicted there could be massive fines and even jail for offenders. Wonderful!

How I would love to see these leeches on society spend a term in jail. I would like to see courts impose such heavy fines it puts such companies out of business.

But I am so much more criti­ cal of the government for failing to impose maximum rates of interest on loans.

The government should be there to protect people ­ not huge companies like Wonga. The bank rate is half of one per cent. How dare the likes of Wonga charge rates of several hundred per cent without the government bearing down on them?

What´s needed is credit unions all across the country so that people can lend to them and borrow from them at reasonable rates.

WE´RE back in the UK now for the hot summer months. Yes, the grass is

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green, so are the trees and, at least where we are down south, the weather´s warm and it hasn´t rained much.

But the traffic is worse than ever, and councils appear to be spending even less on road maintenance. Grass is growing waist high on road verges and, strolling along seafronts, you can see more railings covered with rust and crying out for replacement.

Look beyond the surface and there´s a mountain of much­ needed maintenance which councils are neglecting through a lack of money. Like potholes, the longer it´s left, the worse and more costly to repair. More housing estates are being built, which means more traffic hold ups and more delays. Sadly, all we hear from government are more and more plans for high speed rail links, when the roads are crying out for improvement. There's little point in getting rail links which get you from city to city a few minutes earlier, if it takes hours to get to and from the railway stations because of inadequate and clogged­up roads ­ and when you get to the stations it costs a fortune to park ­ if you can find a space!

Finally, we went to Selsey for a walk last week and stopped in the car park. Last year it was free to park for an hour and £1.10 thereafter.

Now there´s a charge of 20p for the first hour. Everything you do in Britain there's a charge for. It must cost more to police the charge than the council gets in cash ­ espe­ cially when you can park all day for nothing in nearby streets. Crazy or what?

Friday, July 4, 2014

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Friday, July 4, 2014

SAY IT IN SPANISH Learn the lingo - with a little help from JEANETTE ERATH Spanish 129 Hello, welcome back to another week of Spanish in the sun!

Here are the answers to last weeks questions, how did you do?

1. Estoy de acuerdo con usted.

2. José se va al extranjero.

3. Acabo de llegar de Paris.

4. Este avión sale desde Londres.

5. Te mandaré los papeles por correo.

6. Te regalo esta botella de coñac para tu cumpleaños.

7. Tengo ganas de ir al teatro.

8. Tienes que ir a casa.

9. Hay que tomar las cosas con calma.

10. Déjame en paz.

11. Mi hermano vive en Sevilla.

12. Esta tarde vamos al cine.

13. Tienes que escribir una carta a tu padre.

14. Cinco días a la semana vamos a la escuela.

15. El profesor escribe las palabras difíciles en la pizarra.

1. Voy a Madrid en dos semanas. (to) 2. según mi madre, soy hermosa. (according to) 3. Caminas hacia el lago. (towards) 4. Ustedes son de Argentina. (from) 5. No puedo vivir sin ti.(without) 6. Esta mesa está hecho de madera. (of) 7. Voy a la playa con mis amigos. (with) 8. Mis primos van a estar aquí hasta el sábado. (until) 9. ¿Usted vive en Dallas?(in) 10. Vamos a las cuatro. (at) I spend a lot of my time in charity shops, looking for ideas for both English and Spanish lessons and just occasionally I notice a book sitting on the shelf looking at me, willing me to pick it up and I am always ready to oblige. As I flick through the pages I noticed half filled exercises and pages devoid of ink or lead, and I wonder about the person who has left it in

throw it all away for whatever reason is disheartening. I would like to remind you all of my favourite Spanish saying “Learning any language is a marathon not a sprint” and a few of my students who started learning Spanish with me from scratch are beginning to see that. There are no short cuts, no easy options, in order to speak to someone so that they understand you and to be understood you have to study and obtain a certain level, this could take anything from one to a few years depending on your input into the learning process.

The last thing I want to do is put anyone off learning Spanish, those of you who read my other column will know exactly what I think of those that do not at least make the effort to speak and communicate in Spanish and I promise you it is worth the hours, days, weeks and months of study when you are able to have a conversation, but like anything, take it slowly, even understanding a simple sentence is a huge milestone for those of you who, like me, started with lit­ tle more than ' hola' and ' adios'. I am still studying to improve my level of the language and I will be learning forever, there is so much to know and because I have a memory of a fish it's harder to keep it all retained, however, I have done it, I can now converse fluently and understand what is being said to me, I am aware of the different tenses and I've worked hard to get here. You too will reap the benefits of your work once you get out there and start practising, go to a Spanish town, no matter where you live there will be one right next door, I know it's hard if you live on an urb full of Brits, but option is the correct one and that people have moved on from imagine how impressed your holiday visitors will be when these books to bigger and better ones, however, in my expe­ you take them to a Spanish bar and have a (however basic) rience, those who are serious about learning a language conversation with the 'camarero' they won't know how per­ keep hold of their books, I know that even before I started fect your Spanish is, as long as the waiter understands then teaching I kept hold of all my learning materials, if nothing to they will think you are fluent, and hopefully it will give you two act as a revision aid, so I fear that the reason so many books incentives, the first is just to speak Spanish, the second is to find themselves in second hand stores is because the owner carry on and improve.

Keep checking my articles, revising them and stick with it, has given up, found it too difficult and decided to forget it, of course they may have returned to the UK and decided not to don't give up on this long and winding road!

See you all next week with some phrases and words asso­ continue their quest for knowledge but that too seems a shame, after all we spend so much time studying that to ciated with this fantastic time of year, summer!

the shop, I think about whether they left it because they fin­ ished the exercises in another book and are now confident with it's contents or whether they have given up, as the half completed books would lead to believe. These books that I am talking about are the Spanish language books, books to learn the language and I can't help but hope that my first

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Friday, July 4, 2014

TIPS FOR BETTER SLEEP Wake up and go to bed at the same time every day, even during week­ ends. Some insomniacs tend to sleep at any time of the day to catch up on some sleep they lose during the night.

It ruins your body clock and only wors­ ens your insomnia. If you can't sleep one night, get up the usual time the next morning. You'll be sleeping soundly like a baby the next night.

Don't eat within 4 hours before you go to bed. In case you went hungry, try some crackers or light snack. But don't indulge in an "eat­all­you­can" feast right before bedtime. Your food won't be digested well, resulting in poor and uncomfortable sleep.

Don't drink caffeine or alcohol.

Caffeine can obstruct your ability to

sleep. Alcohol can make you drowsy, but it can wake you up in the middle of the night and bring you side effects that will hinder a continuous sleep process.

Don't smoke. Nicotine is a stimulant and can make it difficult to fall asleep and stay asleep.

Relax and stay fit. Avoid having a stressful lifestyle. Exercise daily to release tension. Engage in breathing exercises to relax your body. Most important of all, don't carry your prob­ lems or emotional baggage to sleep with you. Forget about it for the mean time. You can go back and solve your dilemma better the next day after a restful sleep.

Exercise early in the day. Twenty to

thirty minutes of exercise every day can help you sleep, but be sure to exercise in the morning or afternoon.

Exercise stimulates the body and aer­ obic activity before bedtime may make falling asleep more difficult.

Check your iron level. Iron deficient women tend to have more problems sleeping, so if your blood is iron poor, a supplement might help your health and your ability to sleep.

Never force yourself to sleep. Trying your best to sleep requires some work. You don't want to work when you want to doze off. Sleep comes best if you are in a relaxed and com­ fortable state. Just lie down, relax, and Due to their continued success, London trained hair styl­ let the sleeping fairy cast its spell upon ists, David and Karen of Cut and Co. have recently moved to you. new premises in Calle Los Arcos in Quesada. Both have over 20 years’ experience in the hairdressing business and pro­ vide precision haircuts in a relaxed atmosphere with care and attention given to every client. A new addition to Cut & Co. is Beauty and Skincare by Sarah, who has been in the beauty industry for 15 years. Sarah offers treatments in skin rejuve­ nation specialising in using NU Skin products which can be used as an alternative to Botox and Fillers without the injec­ tions. Semi­permanent lash extensions, LA Spray Tans and Email your questions and comments to contact@medb.es Shellac nails are also available. Coming soon is the latest the largest contributor of cut out salt from their diet. done. What is worrisome lash technology MyScara. Sarah is offering 10% off all treat­ sodium to the body. Sodium But how beneficial is this rec­ about the report is that peo­ ments to new clients on their 1st visit to the salon. To book a is the most abundant mineral ommendation? Recently The ple that consumed very little hair appointment telephone Karen on 648 879 654 or David in the body and plays a role Institute of Medicine (IOM) – salt were found to be in a on 699 409 433. To book a Beauty appointment telephone in many vital chemical reac­ a well­known international worse state of health. Of Sarah on 627 693 795. tions such as the transmis­ organisation was commis­ course taking too much salt sion of signals through sioned to review all studies will surely poison the body, nerves and contraction of relating to the health effects but not in the quantity need­ muscles. However in more of Sodium. Their 150 page ed to add flavour to food. recent times, salt has been report concluded that the When it comes to salt, sea demonized especially as a current evidence linking salt salt is certainly better than contributor to hypertension to high blood pressure lacks table salt because it contains and heart disease. People validity. According to them, many more minerals. suffering from high blood none of the studies used to FOR A FULL BODY SCAN pressure are generally support the argument CALL DR MANNU: advised by their doctors to against salt was properly 965071745

IS THERE A LINK BETWEEN SALT AND HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE? Your body cannot survive without salt. And human civi­ lization has been shaped to a great extent by salt. In days gone by, before fridges were invented, salt was the best natural preservative for meat, fish and many other foods. Salt was so valued in roman times that it was used to pay the wages of soldiers.

The word salary comes from salt (The Spanish word for salt is sal). Even today, salt is very much in use by the food industry to enhance the taste and prolong the shelf life of processed foods. The chem­ ical name for salt is Sodium Chloride, and this makes salt

GREAT CUTS AND PAMPERING

DR MACHI MANNU’S ADVICE CLINIC

Friday, July 4, 2014

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Friday, July 4, 2014

LOTS OF DRY EYES IN THE HOUSE Q

I have dry eyes, and have tried many remedies without success, what can I do?

A

Dry eyes can be common as we start to age. For women, it is associated with menopause, and for men, with high blood pressure, taking antidepressant medications and an enlarged prostate. Other causes of dry eyes are driving or working outside, and exposing the eyes to irritating chemicals.

But serious cases of dry eyes are caused by the autoimmune disorder known as Sjogren’s syndrome. Dry eyes are best treated with Sea Buckthorn oil. Sea Buckthorn Oil is made from the seed, pulp and skin of the sea buckthorn berry, a rare fruit packed with hundreds of nutrients, including Omega­7 Fatty acids. One of the reasons we develop dry eyes is that the moisture contained in the eyes­ and the entire body­ changes as we age. Aside from simple lifestyle changes, other factors such as irritants and prescription drugs also con­ tribute to the problem. While there are many causes of dry eyes, there are 2 fundamental reasons why they occur: when the eyes don’t produce enough tears or moisture to keep the eyes from drying out, and when the tears produced are normal, but the composi­

tion is not healthy and doesn’t stop the eyes from drying out. Over the counter drugs and artificial tears and eye drops do not work well because they don’t address the reasons why dry eyes occur in the first place. Sea Buckthorn is effective because it reduces the inflammation caused by dry eyes while increasing the secretion of tears. Most importantly, due to its high fatty acid content, especially omega­7 fatty acids, it improves the composition of tear or moisture pro­ duced by the eyes. Omega­7 fatty acid also prevents the loss of moisture from the eyes.

Sea Buckthorn is effective for: relieving dry eyes; preventing eye tiredness; reducing symptoms of Sjogren’s; and stopping red­ ness and irritation of the eyes. You can pur­ chase good brands online.

Q A

What is Sarcoidosis?

Sarcoidosis is an inflammatory disease that affects several organs in the body, mostly the lungs. The resulting inflammation can cause the formation of lumps known as granulomas in the organs. This granuloma can affect the shape or function of the organ it is found in. Sarcoidosis may be with symp­ toms or without. Most of the time, it improves or clears on its own. More than half of suffer­

ers have no symptoms after 9 years.

Researchers are not exactly sure what causes Sarcoidosis. However there is very strong evidence to suggest that it arises from a malfunction of the immune system. In a healthy person, white blood cells fight infections and cause inflammation without any problem. But in those suffering from sar­ coidosis, when white cells fight infections, they clump together into balls and form these granulomas. It is also known that for­ eign particles such as toxins and microbes – viruses, bacteria, fungi may trigger these abnormal responses that cause sarcoidosis.

Cases of Sarcoidosis have also been known to occur in recipients of donated organs i.e. heart, lung and bone marrow. The symp­ toms of Sarcoidosis are varied and largely depend on the organs affected. As the lungs are mostly affected, respiratory symptoms are the commonest. These symptoms may begin suddenly and also stop at any time.

Others will show no symptoms even though organs are affected. Common symptoms may include: shortness of breath, persistent cough, reddish bumps on the skin, fever, weight loss, and night sweats. These symp­ toms are similar to those of tuberculosis.

There may be visual problems, joint pain,

hearing loss, depression and a host of other problems. One clinical study found that in people with sarcoidosis, there is an altered response in their intestinal immune system.

This abnormality was accompanied by sen­ sitivity to wheat protein. So it’s advisable for sarcoidosis sufferers to remove wheat from their diet. Enhancing the immune system also helps in managing the disorder. And there are a number of ways to do so.

Adequate sleep is essential for maintaining a strong immunity. Regular exercises are also important. This can be taking a brisk walk for half an hour every day. Vitamins A, D and E are essential for a healthy immune system. The best source of vitamin D is sun­ light. This is best in the early mornings when the intensity is not damaging to the skin.

Commonly used herbs for improving immune function are: Echinacea and Reishi.

Natural herbs stimulate the production of white blood cells and other immune cells.

These immune cells can take a while to build­up in the body. Immediate results can be achieved with immunoglobulins that con­ tain pre­formed antibodies and immune pro­ teins.

FOR A FULL BODY DIAGNOSTIC SCAN CALL DR MACHI MANNU: 965071745

Friday, July 4, 2014

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Friday, July 4, 2014

LA FUENTE A MUST TO VISIT NEXT TO CAMPOAMOR GOLF A CLEARER VIEW Whether you need an eye test or want to choose some new glasses or contact lenses, Visual Nature Opticos is the place to go. Booking an appointment for an eye check is dead simple, by calling on 865 770 850.

They’ve got a huge selection of glasses to choose from leading names like ROBERTO CAVALLI, BOSS, ADIDAS, DSQUARED2, TOM FORD, VALENTINO, SWAROVSKI. Visual Nature Opticos also stock a wide range of contact lenses, including daily and monthly lenses. https://www.facebook.com/visualnatureopticos Get a 10% discount only until July 31st, and you just need to present this advert, or go into your mobile and use the Facebook link and click "Like."

OUT OF THIS WORLD FOR GOLF Galaxy Golf and their professional team would like to welcome you to their store at La Fuente. Galaxy stocks all the major and popular brands of golf fash­ ions including Calvin Klein, Green Lamb, Callaway, Cutter & Buck and Dwyer. Golf shoes feature manu­ facturers like Footjoy, Ecco, Callaway and Adidas.

Galaxy has everything to make you get that better round including hardware from Ping, Callaway, Cobra & TaylorMade in stock, plus there’s a GC2 launch monitor which works out the perfect customised club for you! Don’t forget the discounted Green Fees desk for the best prices and details about the local cours­ es, and golf club hire is also available. The Galaxy team look forward to seeing you soon.

AGENTS THAT YOU CAN TRUST Costa Blanca Sales are a professional Real Estate Agency who has had the pleasure of trading in Orihuela Costa Region for over 12 years. We are privileged to have an abundance of multi –lingual staff whose languages include English, Spanish, Dutch, French and German. Based in Villa Costa between commercial centre La Fuente and Mercadona, we are currently very keen to source properties to enhance our ever growing portfolio. We work very closely with many estate agencies in the local area, and in Europe and have an extensive interna­ tional advertising campaign up and running. We pride our­ selves in our professional approach to selling property and building relationships with our clients.

We offer, as part of our Elite Service­Free Valuation­ a Professional Photographer­ an Appointment to suit your needs­ Regular updates and the promise of a dedicated team to pro­ mote your products. Please visit our website www.costablan­ casales.com or pop in for a chat and a café con leche!

Exquisite Outfits and Home Entertainment, All Under One Roof!

Tiger Feet Tiger Feet Fashion has now expanded and Julia and Alan would like to welcome you to Tiger Feet Beauty. All your therapies under one roof. The Ultimate Beauty, Hair, Fashion and Nail boutique.

The latest trends in footwear, jewellery, handbags and clothing coupled up with the latest treatments, finest facilities with profes­ sional beauty therapists and hair stylists. We have everything you need from semi­permanent make­up, threading, foot doctor, mas­ sages, facials, acrylics and CND shellac to a fantastic outfit with matching shoes and handbag.

Cloud Nine Cloud Nine Satellite Systems (situated inside Tiger Feet) offers all your TV needs, no monthly payments or rebroadcasting, pack­ age options available Alan will be pleased to discuss your require­ ments and give a demonstration of the system in operation within their office For more information contact Alan on 965 320 900 ­ 600 856 937

ENJOY LIFE AT Viva la Vida The very popular Viva La Vida bar is open from 9am till late with a long serving Happy Hour from 4pm to 7pm, every day.

There’s entertainment throughout the week plus the ever­ popular Karaoke Sunday afternoons. Look into the future with Tarot & Palm Readings every Tuesday & Friday night from 7pm, and the big Quiz Night every Thursday from 8.30pm The kitchen is open under the original management serv­ ing fresh home cooked food 6 days a week plus the famous great value Sunday lunch from 1pm at only 5 Euros. For reservations call 966 848 718. Jim, Paul & Eddie would like to thank their customers, old and new for their continuing support.

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LA FUENTE A MUST TO VISIT NEXT TO CAMPOAMOR GOLF SO. CO. HAS IT ALL ● Happy hour 5 TO 6 daily, with lager and wine offers ● DJ Snoopy spinning great tracks on Wednesdays, Fridays and Sundays:­ 5pm till late ● Fantastic cocktails ● Homemade Vodka shots ● Kitchen opening within the next week specialising in gourmet burgers ● Coverage of all major sporting events including Gaelic games ● Available for Private Functions ● We are now taking bookings for Christmas Party's

PROPERTY PEOPLE YOU CAN TRUST Spain Property Shop SL has recently made its home on the top floor of La Fuente, and offers a professional service backed by over 30 years’ experience in the real estate mar­ ket on the Costa Blanca and Costa Calida.

If you are looking to buy a property, then call in to see the team and view an extensive range of resale, new, off plan and key ready properties. If you produce this advert with your “initial” enquiry, your EPC energy certificate costs will be paid once your property is sold, by us, or if you’re a buyer, then you’ll get a half­price discount on your legal fees! Ask for full details by phoning 965 320 675 NOW or E­Mail info@spainpropertyshop.es

ANGEL’S SPECIAL GIFTS Angel Art and Decoration is a lovely shop in La Fuente which distinguishes itself from other places by the items that they sell. The combination of beautiful jewellery; a wide range of Bulaggi quality bags; home decoration items; shawls; sunglasses and our newest items:­cute baby clothes with some funny texts are what makes Angel Art unique. It’s the perfect place to get a nice present for yourself, friends or family, and drop in to check out the very lat­ est summer sale offers! The summer open­ ing hours sees the shop open every day from 6.00pm till 11.00pm.

GET SNIPPED AT THE GALLERY Nikki, Luke and Angela would like to thank all their clients that have been loyally coming to the Hair Gallery. New cus­ tomers will get a very warm and friendly welcome from a pro­ fessional salon that has five successful years under their belt, which is not surprising as it’s always very busy! You can be guaranteed top styling with The Hair Gallery who only use top quality products including Paul Mitchell.

You can also take advantage of Nails by Angela with 20 years of experience with Nail Extension Sculptured; SHEL­ LAC; MINX; Beauty Therapy; and a CREATIVE PRODUCTS used expert in Scouse Brows High Definition and Nail Art The salon is open on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday between 9.30am and 5.30pm, with Wednesday 9.30am till late, and Saturday 9.30am until 4.00pm.

To book an appointment call 966 775 543 or 633 550 930

CRYSTALS SHINE FOR FOOD Crystals give you the wonderful chance to dine in beautiful spacious surroundings, and to enjoy the comfort of our newly awaited seating and taste the recently changed menus pre­ pared by the talented chef/owner. Crystals is situated on top floor of La Fuente Centre behind the pharmacy.

They open Tuesday to Saturday 6.30pm until Late, with the Early Bird Menu on between 6.30 to 7.30, in addition to the Menu Del Noche and a fantastic extensive a la carte menu.

Why not try Crystals award winning Sunday Lunch served from 1pm to 6.30pm? They cater at lunchtimes and evenings for weddings, club functions and special occasions and can arrange a menu suited to your needs. For more details or to book a table, then phone Sean, Aggie or Adam on 966 186 835 or 698 392 523.

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Friday, July 4, 2014

LEFTOVER CHICKEN? CHICKEN STIRFRY Ingredients 2 large green chill­ ies 2tbsp vegetable oil 2tsp sesame oil 1 garlic clove, peeled and crushed 2.5cm piece root ginger, peeled and grated 75g whole almonds, sliced 450g chicken breast fillet, cut into bite­sized pieces 2 red peppers, de­seeded and chopped 100g shitake mushrooms 100g mangetout 6tbsp stir­fry sauce (optional) A handful of fresh basil leaves to garnish (optional)

Method

1. Slice the stalk ends from the green chillies. Carefully cut away the seeds and pith from inside the chilli without cutting the green part( rolling the chillies between your fingers will help release some of the seeds); discard the seeds and pith. Thinly slice the chillies, diagonally.

2. Heat both the oils in a wok and add the chillies, garlic, ginger and almonds. Stir­fry for 30 seconds – 1 min until just turning golden. Remove with a draining spoon and set aside.

3. Add the chicken and peppers to the pan and stir­fry for 4 minutes or until chicken is just golden. Add the mushrooms and mangetout and return the chillies, garlic, ginger and almonds to the pan. Continue stir­frying for a further 2 min­ utes . Season and add stir­fry sauce (if using). Heat through until sauce is bubbling and serve straight away garnished with fresh basil.

ROAST CHICKEN SOUP Ingredients 30g butter 2 medium onions, peeled and chopped 2 parsnips, peeled and chopped

2 carrots, peeled and chopped 1 litre chicken stock 1 tablespoon fresh­ ly chopped thyme 200­250g cooked chicken, shredded Croutons, to serve Sprigs of parsley, to garnish

Method

1. Melt the butter in a pan, add the vegetables and cook over a medium heat for 10­15 mins until they start to soften but not colour.

2. Pour the stock into the pan, add the thyme leaves and bring to the boil. Reduce the heat and simmer the soup for 15 minutes. Add the chicken to the pan and cook for a further 5 mins to heat through.

3. Remove the pan from the heat, pour half the soup into the bowl of a food processor and purée it, then pour it back into the pan and mix with the chunky soup. Serve the soup with croutons and garnished with a sprig of parsley.

LEMON CHICKEN TRAY BAKE Ingredients For the marinade: 8 chicken thighs, bone­ less and skin on 4tbsp soy sauce Juice and zest of 1 lemon 1tbsp sugar For the lemon chicken tray bake: 1 onion, finely diced 2 cloves garlic, crushed 1tbs rosemary, very finely chopped 50g breadcrumbs.

400g maris piper potatoes 2 red onions, quartered Squeezed lemon halves from 1 lemon (keep the juice) 1 head garlic, halved horizontally Black pepper, to season Drizzle of olive oil Flat leaf parsley, to serve You'll also need: A roasting tray

Method

1. In a large bowl, marinate the chicken thighs in the soy sauce, juice and zest of 1 lemon and sugar for at least 2 hours.

2. Preheat the oven to 200˚C/400˚F fan/Gas Mark 6.

3. In a large frying pan heat some oil over a medium heat and fry the diced onion and garlic for around 5 mins until soft­

ened, then add in the rosemary and breadcrumbs.

4. Remove the chicken from the marinade and shake off the excess, reserve the marinade for basting. Open out the thighs with a sharp knife and stuff with the breadcrumb stuff­ ing, use a cocktail stick to secure them.

Bring a large pan of water to the boil and parboil the potatoes for 5 mins, then drain and add these to a roasting tray along with the chicken, the red onions, the squeezed lemon halves and the halved head of garlic then season with black pepper.

5. Drizzle over some olive oil and bake in the preheated oven for 1hr, 20 mins.

6. Before the end of cooking, scatter over any remaining breadcrumbs, and return to the oven until golden.

Garnish with some flat leaf parsley and squeeze over the juice from the roasted lemons and serve.

CHICKEN TIKKA MASALA Ingredients For the marinade: 1tbsp tikka masala curry paste 150g low­fat Greek yogurt 2 free­range chicken breasts, each cut into 5­6 large chunks Pinch of salt For the sauce: 1 rounded tbsp tikka masala curry paste 1 onion, finely chopped 200g passata / strained tomatoes 200ml tin reduced­fat or light coconut milk 1tbsp low­fat Greek yogurt A handful of coriander, chopped For the fragrant rice: 100g basmati rice Pinch of salt 5 curry leaves ½ tsp black mustard seeds 1 cinnamon stick Pinch of saffron (optional)

Method

1. To make the marinade, mix the curry paste, yogurt and chicken together.

2. Preheat the oven to 220°C/fan 200°C. Drain the chicken a little and place piece by piece, onto a baking tray. Bake for 20 mins or until slightly charred. Set the tikka chicken aside while you make the sauce.

3. Heat the curry paste in a saucepan. Add the onion and sweat slowly over a low heat for 5­8 mins or until the onion is translucent and soft. Add in the passata and cook for 5 mins, then add in the coconut milk. Bring to the boil, then turn down

27

Friday, July 4, 2014 the heat and add in the tikka chicken. Cook over a low heat for 5 mins or until the chicken is cooked through. Finish by stirring through the yogurt and coriander.

4. To make the fragrant rice, add the rice and the aromatics to a pan and cover with enough water to come 1cm over the top of the rice. Bring to the boil and simmer for 8 mins, cov­ ered. The rice should have absorbed almost all of the water, but still be a bit wet. Remove from the heat and leave to absorb the remaining water for 10 mins, covered. Remove the cinnamon stick before serving with the curry.

CHICKEN AND BACON RISOTTO Ingredients 4tbsp sunflower oil 2 medium onions, peeled and cut into thin wedges 4 chicken thighs, skinned and chopped 6 rashers smoked streaky bacon, chopped 250g (8oz) pudding rice 2 chicken stock cubes 200g (7oz) frozen peas Salt and ground black pepper 2 level tbsp freshly chopped parsley

Method

1. Heat the oil in a deep frying pan and add the onion. Cook the onion over a medium heat for about 4­5 mins, until it soft­ ens, but not colours. Add the chicken and bacon, and contin­ ue to cook over a medium heat for a further 4­5 mins, or until the chicken is cooked.

2. Add the rice to the pan, and stir it well to coat it in oil. Add the stock cube to the pan and pour in some boiling water, simmer the risotto until the water is almost absorbed and then add more water to the pan. Keep the risotto simmering gently, and add water as required until the rice is almost cooked. As a guide we used about 600ml (1 pint) boiling water in total.

3. Add the peas to the pan and cook for 3­5 mins, until they are just tender. Check that the rice is cooked and if it still has too much 'bite', leave it to cook for a little longer. It should take about 15­20 mins. Season to taste just before serving and sprinkle the parsley over it. Serve immediately. (Not suit­ able for freezing).

CHICKEN PASTA BAKE Ingredients 2 x 150g (5 z) cooked skinless chicken breasts 200g (7oz) broccoli, chopped into florets 200g (7oz) short pasta, such as penne or fusilli Knob of unsalted butter 100g (3½oz) mushrooms, finely chopped 1 garlic clove, crushed 1­2tsp dried mixed herbs 25g (1oz) plain flour 360ml (12 fl.oz) chicken stock with no added salt 120ml (4 fl.oz) whole milk 60g (2 oz) Gruyère cheese, grated Freshly ground black pepper 40g (1½oz) fresh breadcrumbs (1 slice of brown bread) 2tbsp freshly grated Parmesan cheese

Method

1. Preheat the oven to 220°C/425°F/gas mark 7.

2. Dice the cooked chicken breasts and set aside.

3. Cook the broccoli in boiling water for 5 mins, then remove the broccoli using a slotted spoon and set aside. Return the water to the boil and cook the pasta for 10­12 mins or according to the directions on the packet. Drain and set aside.

4. Meanwhile, melt the butter in a large saucepan over a medium heat. Add the mushrooms, garlic and herbs and sauté for 4 mins. Add the flour before gradually adding in the chicken stock and milk, then give it a good stir with a whisk.

5. Bring to the boil and cook for 5 mins, until thick, stirring from time to time. Add the Gruyère, a pinch of pepper and stir well. Take the pan off the heat and stir in the cooked diced chicken.

6. Grease a casserole dish and put a layer of pasta on the bottom, roughly half. Put half the broccoli on top, followed by half the chicken mixture, then repeat with a second layer of each. Sprinkle the top with the breadcrumbs and grated Parmesan and bake for 15 mins, until bubbling and golden brown.

CHICKEN AND MUSHROOM PIE Ingredients 55g (2oz) butter 1 onion, peeled and sliced 300g (10½ oz) mushrooms, halved 2 garlic cloves, peeled and chopped 2tbsp chopped fresh thyme 40g (1½ oz) plain flour 150ml (5fl oz) dry white wine 300ml (10fl oz) chicken stock 4 ready­roasted chicken breasts, cubed 142ml pot double cream 250g packet ready­rolled puff pastry 1 egg, beaten Sprigs of thyme, to garnish

Method 1. Preheat the oven to 200°C (400°F, gas mark 6). 2. Heat the butter in a large saucepan, add the onion and cook over a medium heat for 5 mins. Add the mushrooms and cook for a further 5 mins. Add the garlic and thyme and fry for 3 mins.

Stir in the flour and cook, stirring, for a further 5 mins.

3. Add the white wine and the chicken stock, bring to the boil and simmer until thickened.

4. Stir in the chicken, simmer for 5 mins, add the cream and season.

5. Spoon into four ovenproof dishes and top with circles of pastry. Trim the edges and brush with the beaten egg. Top each with a sprig of thyme. Bake for 15 mins until risen.

6. Serve your chicken and mushroom pies, still warm from the open, with a big spoon on creamy mash and minted peas.

CHICKEN TACOS Ingredients 1tbsp vegetable oil 4 chicken breasts, cut into bite­sized pieces 1tbsp ground cumin 1tbsp dried oregano 1tsp chilli powder (optional) 8 taco shells 230g tub salsa Salad leaves or shredded iceberg lettuce 300ml tub sour cream 100g grated cheese

Method

1. Preheat the oven to 200°C/390°F/Gas Mark 6.

2. Heat the oil in a frying pan. Add the chicken pieces and brown for 5 mins.

3. Add the spices to the pan and stir to coat the chicken.

Cook for another 5 ­ 10 mins, until the chicken pieces are cooked through.

4. Meanwhile, heat the taco shells in the oven for a few min­ utes.

5. Fill the taco shells with chicken pieces, salsa, salad leaves, sour cream and cheese. Serve immediately.

ALL TASTE BUDS TICKLED to die for. Gerry is best known for his authentic Indian cur­ ries that are available on Wednesday evenings. Coming soon are a Steak Night and a Quiz night with dinner includ­ ed. The Horse and Gypsi Restaurant is open daily from 10am to 2pm then 6pm to 10pm except on a Tuesday when Noreen and Gerry have a well­deserved day off. With its tasteful decor, relaxed atmosphere, varied menu and com­ petitive prices the new Horse and Gypsi restaurant is well worth a visit. For reservations telephone 966 799 735.

The new Horse and Gypsi Restaurant based in the Old Tower Computer premises on the first floor of the Filton Centre, Los Balcones opened only 4 weeks ago and is prov­ ing to be a great success with the locals in the community.

Run by Noreen and Gerry who both have over 20 years’ experience in the restaurant trade and have worked in vari­ ous establishments throughout Europe. Only fresh locally grown produce is used daily in all their dishes. Noreen`s speciality is her Sunday roast dinners, and she is also famous for her homemade desserts.......her cheesecake is

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Friday, July 4, 2014

MAN WITH A HEART AND A KAYAK

Kind­hearted Dave Spilsbury from Campoverde, Pilar de la Horadada is get­ ting ready for a trip of a lifetime as he plans to travel in a kayak up the Spanish coast in September. Dave will be taking a month out for his journey which starts close to the bor­ der with Gibraltar on September 1st and finishes up in Alicante port on September 30th, as he raises money for Trinity Hospice and Palliative Care Services back in the UK in Blackpool.

Dave is used to water as he’s spent most of his working life as a commercial satura­ tion diver, maintaining and repairing oil and

gas pipes around the world, and for his kayak trek, he’ll be grabbing some sleep each night on a local beach!

He’s seen at first hand the wonderful work done at the Trinity Hospice giving comfort to patients of all ages who are suf­ fering from cancer, with all the care provid­ ed free of charge. Dave is funding his expedition himself, which means that every single donation will go directly to the hos­ pice.

Donations and more details can be found via www.justgiving.com/dave­spilsbury and Dave can also be followed via Facebook.

HOMELESS AID The Torrevieja­based homeless charity, Reach Out is doing its bit to try and find emergency housing in the area. They’ve launched an Assisted Housing Fund as President, Karolina Leonard explained:­ "We have had a few desperate cases of late. A young 19 year old homeless girl has discov­ ered she is pregnant and is currently sleep­ ing rough. We also have a widower with three young children (the youngest is just two). His wife passed away last year and he is in a real vicious circle. He cannot find work because he is caring for the children, he can­ not care for the children because he cannot work ­ and very recently, he and his children were evicted and are now homeless.

Luckily, he was able to place the children temporarily (but seperately) with family."

Karolina continued, "The assisted housing fund is a separate account which will allow us to help out with emergency accommoda­ tion in special cases. It is quite possible that at some stage, these people might get assis­ tance from social services, but the paper­ work takes so long to go through that they

could be on the streets for quite a while, waiting for a form to be stamped or an appli­ cation to be approved."

If anyone can donate to the assisted hous­ ing fund, Reach Out would be very, very grateful for any amount small, medium or large.

Bankia Cabo Roig 2038 6012 4160 0081 1038, Extienda la Mano

48 brave souls of Torrevieja’s University of the Third Age went white water rafting recently and got very wet in the process!

For the second year running, the members used the Segura river for their rafting expe­ rience travelling from La Parra to Cieza in five rafts. The journey took two and a half hours, and the club members then reflected on their experience over a hearty lunch.

The U3A is a self­help group, with mem­ bership not related to a specific age but to a period in one's life (the third age) after the second age of full­time employment and parental responsibility. Anybody in their third age can join U3A and this includes people who are working part time. There’s a chance

to learn about many subjects whilst having fun at the same time. The group meets at the CMO building (behind Carrefour in Torrevieja) on the last Monday of each month, starting at 11.00am

A run in with the local police didn’t spoil the recent garden party staged by the Torrevieja Branch of the Royal British Legion. The early evening get­together in the San Luis area of the city featured music from Just Brass, enjoyed by 80 members who are celebrating the 25th anniversary of the branch.

The police appeared after half an hour of the music saying that the event broke local rules, and that an earlier license obtained by the Legion was void. That was the end of Just Brass for the day, but the entertainment continued indoors in Casa Ventura, as the

Terry Horvath Morris Dancers performed, ahead of a successful raffle that closed a successful fund­raising event for the Legion.

HOT CRUELTY WET AND WILD

The Easy Horse Care Rescue Centre were sadly too late to save the life of a neg­ lected horse at the Campo de Guardamar but did help six starving dogs.

Rod and Sue Weeding from the Centre in Rojales got a call from the Guardia Civil’s animal welfare arm, Seprona, and they found a very young horse that was starving and completely dehydrated.

“She was lying in full sun and had had nothing to eat or drink for four to five days,” said Sue. “She was far too weak to get up.

She could not even get her head up, and sadly she passed away a few hours later.”

While assisting the mare, Rod and Sue heard barking and discovered six starving dogs locked away in dark cages on the same property. They made a hole in a wall by removing some blocks that Sue managed to climb through and then had to pass the ani­ mals through the hole one at a time. There were one male and five female Rottweilers, and they are now being cared for by the Cats N Dogs Aid association from Quesada.

JOYFUL TONES

The Velvetones provided the entertain­ ment at the recent official opening of a new residential care home in Villamartin. The ladies sang a variety of favourites, and were also given a tour of the building by the man­ ager, Juan Jose Benayas Romero.

The ladies return to rehearsals after their

summer break, on Wednesday, September 3rd, from 9.45am at the Restauante El Paraiso, Jardin del Mar, Torrevieja (behind Carrefour and McDonalds), and new mem­ bers are welcome to join and enjoy a friendly atmosphere. Visit the website www.velve­ tones.org or give Ena a call on 965 707 598.

BRASSED OFF BUSY HELP

Help Murcia Mar Menor got a recent boost when Janet Duxbury from the La Manga Club presented a cheque worth 370 Euros to Help member Tricia Brister. Club President, Bernard Ash, was pleased to announce that a bath chair for a local child with cerebral palsy has been bought, with the parents thanking Help for the donation for their 3 year old son. Their “Thank You Letter” expressed sincere gratitude for the chair, which will be such a help to them as he is unable to support himself. Help will also reimburse 500 Euros towards the cost of the boy’s trips to hospital in Barcelona.

Friday, July 4, 2014

29

SPANISH NEWS

NOT OPEN ALL HOURS THE LION WEEPS TONIGHT Even the tight­fisted gro­ cer Arkwright from the clas­ sic TV comedy Open All Hours would have had his head spinning with the news that Spanish health and safety inspectors have closed down a shop that was selling food that was up 13 years out of date!

The unnamed store, is based in Jaén in Andalucía and mainly dealt in drinks, sweets, and tinned food.

Local Police officers found a number of items in the shop to be in less­than­healthy conditions and, upon inspec­

tion, discovered that their use­by dates had long since passed, including in some cases going back to 2001.

They called in the local vet to carry out a report which was delivered to consumer protection and health inspectors, who then visited the store along with the police. The shop was closed immediately and a full stock­ take of goods will be carried out, with those out of date will be removed and destroyed, as well as the owners being set for a hefty fine.

REBAJAS ARRIVE

Spain’s summer sales officially got going last Tuesday, and for the first time since the start of the financial crisis, the fashion indus­ try is expecting to see a profit. Discounts ranging from 30 to 50% can be found in the first week or two, but as the sales progress and stocks become lower, goods at up to 70% or even 80% off are fairly common. And with an estimated turnover of 2.7 billion between July and early September this year, it will mean takings are up by 3.5 per cent on summer 2013.

Until July 2012, shops were only allowed to hold sales in summer and just after Christmas, lasting for a minimum of a week and a maximum of two months. Now there are no limits as to when and for how long sales can be held, but instead of this leading to cut­price deals year­round which take the novelty off finding bargains, in practice it

means shops are choosing to start their sales a week or two earlier to increase tak­ ings. And many others prefer to stick rigidly to the previous régime, especially where increasing profits is not a case of mere sur­ vival as it is with many smaller boutiques.

The Inditex chain (Zara, Bershka, Pull&Bear, Oysho, Massimo Dutti, Stradivarius and Uterqüe) and department store El Corte Inglés waited until last Tuesday (July 1st) to slash their prices, although 'sale' items and other special details can often be found the rest of the year.

Spanish police have busted a Chinese gang accused of carrying out back­street abortions, surgery and dentistry in what were described as 'deplorable' home clinics in the Madrid area. The National Police released photographs of items seized in the raids, including a pile of human teeth, pills and numerous unsterilized forceps and den­ tal tools.

Police said they detained eight Chinese suspects in a year­long operation and shut down six "clandestine medical clinics" in the Usera district of southern Madrid, which is home to a large Chinese community. As well as those held in custody, police brought charges against two others for crimes against public health and unlicensed profes­

sional activity.

"They offered gynaecological, paediatric and dental consultations among other spe­ cialities, and even carried out surgical oper­ ations and abortions in private homes lack­ ing the required hygiene and security condi­ tions," a police statement said.

The unlicensed "doctors" advertised their services in media targeted at the Chinese community. The racket was exposed after a patient reported to police one of the bogus doctors who charged him 3,500 Euros for a series of visits for stomach pains. The doctor faked the man's blood­test results to make him think he had hepatitis and gave him pills.

The pains worsened and he ended up being treated in hospital for a stomach infection.

STICK TO ACUPUNCTURE

One of Spain’s most famous lions won’t be getting any­ thing to roar about in the future, as the government has rejected any idea of giving the feline some testicles. They say that the addition of any feature to the metallic statue, which keeps guard outside the parliament building in Madrid, would spoil the original artwork.

Two years ago, an investigation could not find any rea­ son why the lion appeared to be missing an important part of its lionhood, and the animal called Daioz, was offered a free scrotum to complete the work of art by Ponciano Ponzano. However, the culture minister, Jose Wert, said that the lion had stood for 50 years in a cas­ trated state, and sees no reason to change this, as this would spoil the original work.

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Restaurants & Bars

Friday, July 4, 2014

Services

31

Friday, July 4, 2014

Property

Lifestyle

The Vista Card For great discounts, cut out This Vista Card and present it to participating businesses

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Friday, July 4, 2014

Horoscopes Aries March 21 ­ April 19 An increased understanding of distant cul­ tures as well as curiosity about the people who live there could spur you on to further learning about those places, Aries.

Friends or groups with which you're affili­ ated could be involved in some way.

You're likely to channel a lot of energy into intellectual activities today and inspire oth­ ers to do the same. Take a walk at some point during the day to clear your head.

Taurus April 20 ­ May 20 The opportunity to increase your income could spur you to channel more energy and inspiration into career and business matters, Taurus. Some vivid, intense dreams might reveal a lot about you and your motivations, which could increase your self­awareness and make everything easier for you. The drive to succeed in material and spiritual mat­ ters is likely to play a powerful role in every­ thing you do today. Onward and upward!

Gemini May 21 ­ June 20 The desire for travel might hit you today, perhaps to visit a friend who lives far away, and you could set the wheels in motion to make it happen. Social events could take up your evening, Gemini, and you might meet some interesting people. A friend may need a sympathetic ear. As you're especially sensitive to others right now, you're prepared to hear a sad story.

Cancer June 21 ­ July 22 Today you might hear about opportunities to increase your income, Cancer, either through your current employment, a new job, or perhaps a project of your own. You're likely to channel a great deal of energy and inspiration to this end. Others may want to pitch in and help you. You're liable to feel energetic and optimistic. This, in turn, can help you attract more opportunities.

By Pandora Leo July 23 ­ August 22 All your relationships could be enhanced today by your increased sensitivity to the needs and feelings of others, Leo. You may provide a sympathetic ear to melan­ choly friends, help someone resolve problems, or both. Whatever it is, rest assured that your efforts won't go unap­ preciated. You'll probably grow closer to the ones who mean the most to you now, including a significant other.

Virgo August 23 ­ September 22 Expect to find yourself ministering to the needs of colleagues and family members today, Virgo. People around you might need to draw upon your insights into human nature in order to understand themselves and others. Your common sense could prove valuable to them. In the process of sharing your wisdom with others, you might also shed some light on emotional situations of your own.

Libra September 23 ­ October 22 Today you might feel especially intellectual­ ly and creatively inspired, and you could discuss your ideas with others. The process of communication could open new doors in your mind and result in some fas­ cinating insights concerning whatever you're pursuing at this time. Sometime in the course of your conversations, Libra, don't be surprised if you find that one of your friends needs a sympathetic ear.

Scorpio October 23 ­ November 21 A close friend or member of your house­ hold could be having money problems, Scorpio, and want to draw on your good business sense in order to understand the situation and find ways to put it right. As you're likely to be feeling especially sensi­ tive to the needs of others today, you could be of valuable help to this person and any­ one else who might need some insights.

Sagittarius November 22 ­ December 21 Heightened intuition and ESP could lead to some interesting conversations with others who are blown away by your insights into their thoughts, feelings, and desires. You could also be feeling more expressive than usual, Sagittarius. You might want to chan­ nel some of that inspiration into writing, speaking, or some other form of self­ expression. Reading may also prove espe­ cially valuable at this time.

Capricorn December 22 ­ January 19 A higher level of intuition and inspiration than is usual for you could enhance your artistic talents, Capricorn. A powerful drive to express the stories, pictures, or music that may be flooding your mind could result in your spending as much of the day as possible in seclusion, jotting down thoughts and ideas. By day's end, you might have spent most of your free time alone yet be very satisfied with the results.

Aquarius January 20 ­ February 18 Moving ahead is today's key phrase, Aquarius. You should be feeling very opti­ mistic and excited about goals that you've set for yourself. You're probably confident that you'll reach them and all will go well. This positive attitude spills over into your relationships. You should be in just the right frame of mind to encourage friends to go for their dreams and give them any assistance they need.

Pisces February 19 ­ March 20 Inspiration is the keyword for the day, Pisces. You may be feeling highly motivat­ ed to move on with what others consider impossible dreams. "Impossible" has never stopped you before, and you aren't likely to let it stop you today. You're more likely to consider all contingencies careful­ ly in order to make them work. Friends could be inspired by your vision and deter­ mination and follow your example.

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Friday, July 4, 2014

RICHARD CAVENDER

Bluemoon Solutions www.bluemoonsolutions.es

BlueMoon Solutions is the computer and IT services com­ pany on the Costa Blanca, they provide quality computer services at realistic prices and specialise in working with home users and small businesses.

Richard moved to Spain seven years ago hav­ ing left his management background behind in the UK and decided to use his IT skills to help home users and small businesses with their PC problems. Now a relaxed 'computer man' he is out and about in the Spanish sun every day, making house and shop calls and using his vast experience and qualifications to (usually) sort out the problem there and then. Computers are his hobby as well as his work so don’t be surprised to get an answer to your email in the early hours!

ADVICE: Dudley was having problems printing from Sam was having problems with her spread sheets not Firefox automatically updating Hi Richard, my prob­

Q

lem is that if I try to print from the Gmail screen using Firefox an error message always appears. There is no problem with printing from docs and other files.

Help, please!! Dudley

Q

Hi Richard, for the last week or so I have been having problems with my excel spread sheets. I have a few spread sheets with the formulas already in place which I update and the totals naturally update. Over the last week when updating the fig­ ures the totals do not update and I’m not sure what has changed. I have attached a spread sheet which I have had problems with; when I change the figures at the top the total at the bottom remains unchanged. Would you please have a look and see if it’s the same when you use it.

Hi Dudley, you could try resetting the print­ er from within Firefox, do the following…

1. Type about:config in the Location Bar and press Enter.

A list of preferences will appear 2. Find the preference print_printer 3. Right­click that preference and select Reset 4. Restart Firefox and see if the problem is resolved

A

A

Hi Sam, interesting one this, but I have the answer – formulas have been set to manu­ ally update on this spread sheet.

You can turn on automatic updates again by doing the following in Excel…

ADVICE: Sheila wanted to know how to make text larger in her web browser.

Hi Richard, in my Gmail, it is all very tiny print, how do I get it to stay big­ ger please? Sheila.

Q

1.

2.

3.

4.

Open up the spread sheet in question.

Click the Microsoft Office Button (top left), and then click Excel Options.

On the Formulas tab, click Manual under Calculation options, and then click OK. Save your spread sheet

…try to update some cells, you should find that your formulas now calculate automatically.

ADVICE: Uffe wanted to know whether to upgrade to Windows 8.1

Hi Sheila, when you are in Internet Explorer, press CTRL and the ZERO key at the same time and that will reset your zoom, which I assume is causing your problems.

A

Don’t forget you can follow me on twit­ ter @bluemoonspain Alternately why don’t you sign up for my newsletter. You can do this by going to:­ www.bluemoonsolutions.es and fill in the form that is on any page except the front page.

Q

Hi Richard, One short question, please: Is it worthwhile upgrading to Windows 8.1 (from 8)? Thanks in advance.

A

Hi Uffe, yes you should upgrade to Windows 8.1 if you have Windows 8 already, there are a number of security and appearance enhancements that make it a much better operating system.

office@bluemoonsolutions.es www.bluemoonsolutions.es Mobile: 655 044 970

Office: 902 906 200

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Friday, July 4, 2014

HOVER CARS HAVE ARRIVED! Residents and visitors to Israel will soon be able to take in the bustling city’s sights, from the comfort of a hovering sky car.

A 1,640ft (500 metre) monorail is being built on the campus of Israel Aerospace Industries (IAI) next year, with a commercial network set to follow that will extend across Tel Aviv.

While monorails may seem like a retro creation, this futuristic version will use cutting edge technology to see two­person pods sus­ pended from magnetic tracks, so they appear to hover.

THE PILOT SKYTRAN

A 1,640ft (500 metre) monorail is being built on the campus of Israel Aerospace Industries (IAI) next year. If it is successful, a larger skyTran system could be rolled out across Tel Aviv, Israel.

The new system will see two­person pods suspended from magnetic tracks so they appear to hover.

The network of computer­ controlled ‘jet­like’ vehicles will use Magnetic Levitation (Maglev) technology to pro­ vide what the firm says is fast, safe, free and econom­

ical travel.

The computer­controlled pods will travel at up to 43mph (70km/h).

If the technology is rolled out commercially, the pods could travel at up to 150 mph (240 km/h).

It is estimated that tickets could cost around $5 (£2.90) per rider, but dis­ counts and subscriptions are also planned.

The company behind the grand plan – California­ based skyTran – claims its system is a clever alterna­ tive to congested roads, and that tracks could even travel through buildings as soon as 2016.

The network of computer­ controlled ‘jet­like’ vehicles will use Magnetic Levitation (Maglev) technology to pro­ vide what the firm says is fast, safe, free and econom­ ical travel. skyTran intends to revolu­ tionise public transportation and, with it, urban and sub­ urban commuting,’ the com­ pany, based at Nasa's Space Act company head­ quartered at the Ames Research Centre, said.

Like other magev trains, the system uses powerful electromagnets that let car­ riages float over – or in this case under – a track. The

system uses the basic prin­ ciple that opposite magnetic poles attract and repel each other.

Instead of an engine, the pods will use a magnetic field created by electrified coils in the track to allow them to hover and propel them along.

As well as looking cool, using magnetic levitation instead of wheels mean there is no physical contact between the vehicle and the ‘guideway’ or rail, so there is no wear and tear.

Because the vehicles are levitated a short distance away from the guideway, and both lift and thrust are produced by electromag­ nets, their speed can be easily controlled and the company said they could achieve reliable high speeds of up to 150 mph (240 km/h).

MAGLEV TRAINS IN ACTION

Maglev uses magnetic levitation instead of wheels.

The idea is that because the system makes no physi­ cal contact between the vehicle and the guideway, there is nothing to wear out or fail.

The technology promises a smooth and quiet journey that is high speed and ener­ gy efficient.

It is already used in high­ speed railways, but the monorail is the ultimate refinement of the system.

Railways like Shanghai's Maglev Train use large superconducting electro­ magnets in a special config­ uration to produce intense magnetic fields over long distances.

Opening in 2004, it was the first commercially oper­ ated high­speed magnetic levitation line in the world.

Trains have a top speed of 268mph (431km/h) and connect Shanghai Pudong International Airport and the outskirts of Pudong with the Shanghai Metro.

This technology will ‘pro­ vide a platform for skyTran vehicles to travel at high speeds, with full payloads while levitating,’ the compa­ ny said.

The electrified system could even be powered by solar or wind power.

The aim in building the test track is to convince town planners that the tech­ nology works so that in the near future, people could order a vehicle on their smartphone to collect them from a specified station, and then take them to their chosen destination.

Unlike monorails at theme parks, the pods will be plush and private. They will also travel much faster, at 43mph (70km/h)

although these speeds could rise substantially if the system is rolled out across greater distances.

It is estimated that con­ struction of the first com­ mercial system will take two years at a cost of around $80 million (£47,000,000) and will extend to cover the whole ‘Gush Dan’ urban and sub­ urban area.

Individual tickets are predicted to cost around

$5 (£2.90 or 17 new Israel shekels) per rider, but dis­ counts and subscriptions are also planned.

If the pilot and initial commercial rollout prove a success, other cites could look to the skies to provide local travel solutions too.

There are skyTran routes in ‘advanced plan­ ning’ for Toulouse, France, Kerala, India and San Francisco Bay in California.

Friday, July 4, 2014

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Friday, July 4, 2014

CODE CRACKER Code Cracker is a crossword puzzle with no clues; instead, every letter of the alphabet has been replaced by a number, the same number representing the same letter throughout the puzzle. All you have to do is decide which letter is represented by which number. In this week’s puzzle, 17 represents V and 10 represents Q, when these letters have been entered throughout the puzzle, you should have enough information to start guessing words and discovering other letters.

QUICKIE

Across 1 Frightened (6) 4 Expresses (6) 9 Unit of heat energy (7) 10 Indian yogurt dish (5) 11 Extremist (5) 12 Thin, supple and graceful (7) 13 Floor covering (3) 14 Dyed fabric (5) 16 Part (5) 18 Lubricate (3) 19 Kingdom in north­western Africa (7) 21 Church table (5) 23 Sound (5) 24 Look at closely (7)

25 Quick race (6) 26 Go away (4,2)

Down 1 Give in (7) 2 Distribute (5) 3 Set aside (7) 5 Academic divisions (5) 6 Instalment (7) 7 Extra (5) 8 Clean, tidy and smart (4­7) 15 Hunting dog (7) 16 Appease (7) 17 Serious (7) 19 Less (5) 20 Free from dirt (5) 22 Contaminate (5)

Last weeks Solution

Across: 7 Dahlia, 8 Abroad, 9 Bald, 10 Specific, 11 Heather, 13 Never, 15 Carry, 17 Dessert, 20 Split end, 22 Saline, 23 Narrow.

Down: 1 Manage, 2/21A Glad rags, 3 Hamster, 4 Cadet, 5 Trainers, 6 Ravine, 12 Terrific, 14 Wedding, 16 Appeal, 18 Region, 19 Defer, 21 Rare.

Scribble Pad

DOUBLE CROSS-WORD Solve the Double Cross­Word puzzle using either the standard or cryptic clues, the answers are exactly the same.

CRYTPIC CLUES Across 7 Television presenters move from one vessel to another (6) 8 Get at one in brown cover (6) 9 Taverns mentioned in Huckleberry Finn's adven­ tures (4) 10 Charges broken rib cases (8) 11 Horseshoe expert is rarer if crazy (7) 13 Religious outfit is sec­ ond nature (5) 15 Quick, note the threat (5) 17 Scratches for supplies for a long time (7) 20 Anti note rebel chant (8) 21 Atmosphere in a restau­ rant (4) 23 Small dog perhaps that is biting cat’s tail (6) 24 Savage mailman lost

his head and went to pieces (6) Down 1 Iron service plant (4) 2 Possibly snares a former Egyptian leader (6) 3 Ship's kitchen equip­ ment? (7) 4 Mockery in distant church (5) 5 At Thailand the Italian­ American will turn into a barbarian (6) 6 Similarly prepared Kiwi eels (8) 12 Put in order a grander transport (8) 14 Place to hide skunk (7) 16 Many returned one day showing little emotion (6) 18 Some para mistaken for a Musketeer (6) 19 Get thinner and lighter (5) 22 Bring up the back (4)

Down STANDARD CLUES 1 Non­flowering plant (4) Across 7 Pour out (6) 2 Egyptian president, 1956­ 1970 (6) 8 Accomplish (6) 3 Large ship (7) 9 Alehouses (4) 4 Exaggerated comedy (5) 10 Attributes (8) 5 Barbarian king nick­ 11 Person who shoes hors­ named the 'Scourge of God' es (7) (6) 13 Established custom (5) 6 In the same or similar 15 Quick and energetic (5) manner (8) 12 Planned in advance (8) 17 Hunts for food (7) 14 Skunk (7) 20 Speak with gravity (8) 21 Atmosphere or ambi­ 16 Impassive (6) 18 One of the Three ence (4) Musketeers (6) 23 Very small (6) 19 Diminish gradually (5) 24 Creature (6) 22 Hindmost (4) Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Labour, 5 Dowse, 8 Cite, 9 Tabulate, 10 Antithesis, 13 Gazebo, 14 Rubies, 16 Narcissist, 19 Foursome, 21 Hail, 22 Drink, 23 Screen.

Down: 2 Avid, 3 Overate, 4 Rotations, 5 Dab, 6 Wilde, 7 Entailed, 11 Tardiness, 12 Paranoid, 15 Butcher, 17 Corgi, 18 Dire, 20 Oak.

FILL IT IN

Complete the crossword grid by using the given words:

3 letter words Lea Lee Ova Pro 4 letter words Abet Acre Book Brit Chow Club Ergo Eros Euro Fret

Hera Idea Ides Iron Isle Limy Lund Lure Mini Mist Neap Ooze Otic Ouzo Plod Seal Seek Sled

Slur Stop Tool Tout Unto Urge With Yeti 5 letter words Adieu Adore Altar Calls Epees Evens Horns Icier

Oiled Pinna Retry Roman Satay South Spans Stand Stats Stays Tibia Tinea 6 letter words Bleach Carted Grassy Greasy

Stared Stones 8 letter words Fiancees Haricots Spinster Sunblind Swooshes Tapestry 9 letter words Standpipe Tearaways 10 letter words Cyberspace Reoriented

SPANISH-ENGLISH CROSSWORD

Improve your Spanish ­ clues in Spanish, answers in English or vice versa.

Across 1 Cheap (inexpensive) (6) 5 Lawn (6) 8 Mordedura (4) 9 Entrada (lugar de acceso) (8) 10 Zanahoria (6) 11 Discurso (alocución) (6) 12 Box (4) 14 Oreja (3) 15 Pera (4) 16 Batalla (lucha) (6) 18 Resistir (6) 20 Giants (8) 22 To praise (4) 23 To rub out (6)

24 Ducha (6) Down 2 Friend (f) (5) 3 Happiness (cheerful­ ness) (7) 4 Allá (4,5) 5 Gato (doméstico) (3) 6 Sombra (zona sin sol) (5) 7 Scotland (7) 11 Sorpresas (9) 13 Fan (air) (7) 15 Aisle (aeroplane, the­ atre) (7) 17 To bring (5) 19 Pala (para cavar) (5) 21 Alquitrán (3)

37

Friday, July 4, 2014 Across 8/4 Bunker on a golf course (4,4) 9 Small soft­bodied marine crustaceans living in cast­off shells of gastropods (6,4) 10 Second wife of Henry VIII and mother of Elizabeth I: Anne ­­­­­­ (6) 11 Small toothed whale with a low triangular dorsal fin and a blunt rounded snout (8) 12 Pseudonym of British short­story writer Hector Hugh Munro (4) 13 Premier League foot­ ball team nicknamed the ‘Black Cats’ (10) 17 Capital and largest city of Italy (4) 18 Earthy pigment con­ taining ferric oxide, typically with clay, varying from light yellow to brown or red (5) 19 Small slender­bodied

amphibian with lungs and a well­developed tail, typically spending its adult life on land and returning to water to breed (4) 20 Longest side of a right­angled triangle, oppo­ site the right angle (10) 22 Stage name of American singer­song­ writer, actress and model Alecia Beth Moore Hart (4) 23 Queen of Great Britain and Ireland and empress of India from 1837 to 1901 (8) 27 Cold pudding made of layers of sponge cake spread with fruit or jelly (6) 28 60s British pop band whose UK Top 10 hits include Everlasting Love, Rainbow Valley, A Day Without Love and Bringing On Back The Good Times (4,6) 29 Industrial city in north­ ern Austria, on the River

SUDOKU (Medium)

Quiz Word

Danube, capital of the state of Upper Austria (4) Down

1 Workplace for the con­ duct of scientific research (10) 2 Substance that unites

or bonds surfaces together (8) 3 1975 UK number four hit single for Glenn Campbell: ­­­­­­­­­­ Cowboy (10) 4 See 8 Across 5 Platform on pillars pro­ jecting from the shore into the sea, typically incorporat­ ing entertainment arcades and places to eat (4) 6 Roll of parchment or paper for writing on (6) 7 Mountainous land­ locked communist state in south­eastern Asia that achieved independence from France in 1949 (4) 14 Indian statesman and leader with Gandhi in the struggle for home rule, the first prime minister of the Republic of India from 1947 to 1964 (5) 15 Easy and not involved or complicated (10)

16 A region of northeast­ ern United States compris­ ing Maine and New Hampshire and Vermont and Massachusetts and Rhode Island and Connecticut (3,7) 19 Social event at which the ceremony of marriage is performed (8) 21 Someone employed in a stable to take care of the horses (6) 24 Home appliance con­ sisting of a flat metal base that is heated and used to smooth cloth (4) 25 Flat float usually made of logs or planks that can be used for transport or as a platform for swimmers (4) 26 First name of Batman actor West, British pop singer Faith, Australian cricketer Gilchrist and British Olympic sprinter Gemili (4)

SALLY’S SIMPLE SPANISH

SALAD INGREDIENTS Match these words with their Spanish translations then find them in the wordsearch.

(Answers below)

el aceite de oliva

el tomate

el apio

el vinagre

el atún

la cebolla

el col

la lechuga

el jamón

la mayonesa

el maíz

la patata

el pepino

las espinacas

el queso

las zanahorias

el rábano

los guisantes

science QUIZ

ANSEWRS 1. Morris 2. White Blood Cells 3. Dwarf Willows (Greenland) 2 inch 4. apple 5. Kit or Kitten 6. Uranim (238) 7. Rabies 8.

Peacocks 9. Sodium 10. Bird 11. Kilderkin 12. The Tongue 13. 8 Inch

Last Week’s Solutions Code Cracker Last weeks Quiz Word Solution Across: 1 Shard, 4 Descartes, 9 Par, 10 Lox, 11 Enclave, 12 Ribs, 13 Archbishop, 15 Metro, 16 Long­range, 17 Escalator, 21 Virus, 23 Scotch eggs, 24 Blur, 27 Retiree, 28 Lea, 29 Ado, 30 Minnesota, 31 Kites.

Down: 1 Super, 2 Acrobat, 3 Dill, 4 Dextral, 5 Stephen, 6 Architrave, 7 Teach­In, 8 Sleepless, 14 D’Oyly Carte, 15 Maelstrom, 18 Crouton, 19 Thereto, 20 Regalia, 22 Reliant, 25 Roots, 26 Jack.

Empareja estas palabras ­ Match the Spanish and English words You will find the answers at the bottom of the quiz.

1.el aceite de oliva, 2.el apio,

17.las espinacas,

k.the onion, l.the tuna,

3.el atún, 4.col, 5.el jamón,

18.las zanahorias.

m.the mayonnaise, n.the carrots, o.the spinach,

6.el maíz, 7.el pepino, 8.el queso, 9.el rábano,

a.the cheese, b.the radish,

p.the ham, q.the tomato,

10.el tomate, 11.el vinagre,

c.the peas, d.the celery,

r.the vinegar.

12.la cebolla, 13.la lechuga,

e.the corn, f.the cucumber,

14.la mayonesa, 15.la patata,

g.the potato, h.the lettuce,

16.los guisantes ,

i.the olive oil, j.the cauliflower,

Soduko

Span ­ Eng

Quizword

Answers: 1i, 2d, 3l, 4j, 5p, 6e, 7f, 8a, 9b, 10q, 11r, 12k, 13h, 14m, 15g, 16c, 17o, 18n.

1. Which British Car Companys First Car Was The 2 Seater Oxford In 1913?

2. What Do The Lymph Glands Produce?

3. What are the worlds smallest trees? Clue; it is not a Bonsai.

4. granny smith, james grieve and egremont russet are all types of which fruit?

5. What is a baby rabbit called?

6. What Is The Most Abundant Radioactive Element?

7. What Is Hydrophobia Better Known As? 8. A muster is a group of what kind of bird?

9. What Chemical In Fireworks Gives A Yellow Flame?

10. Archaeopteryx was the first what?

11. According to barrel sizes, there are 18 gallons in a what?

12. Which Is The Only Mucsle Not Atteched At Both Ends?

13. What Diameter Floppy Disks Were Introduced By Ibm In 1970?

Fill It In

38

Friday, July 4, 2014

TRELI ON THE TELLY I CAN’T LET MAGGIE GO

Barring the soaps, it has been a wasteland for lovers of quality British drama (noth­ ing since Happy Valley fin­ ished), but at least last night BBC 2 did wheel out what it called a “major new series” in Much as I love the World the shape of The Honourable Cup and Wimbledon, I do Woman starring Maggie have to say that the lack of Gyllenhaal. I always wince quality fare for non­sports when I hear that label of fans across the main UK “major” banded around in the channels has been more trailers because it suggests noticeable than ever that some TV executives feel that you should be told that before.

with ALEX TRELINSKI

they think it’s brilliant, without you working it out for your­ selff whether you like it or not. The first signs though are good and we have the novelty of a big American name starring in a British series, as opposed to the Brits taking over every US drama show!

Gyllenhaal does a great English accent in what she has said is the best project she has ever done, and the script by Hugo Blick (who did the wonderful The Shadow Line for BBC2 a couple of years ago) is sharp but in true­Blick style, the story demands your complete and utter attention in the same vein of The Shadow Line.

There’s politics, manoeu­ vring, and of course on the basis of episode one, a guessing game as to what exactly is going on, and who the potential baddies might be, as Gyllenhaal plays a character who is involved in the complex world of the Middle East. Plenty of top­ notch TV actors and actress­ es provide excellent support, and this is an extremely wel­

come hour amongst the cur­ rent unimaginative sched­ ules.

q

Back to Wimbledon, and the BBC coverage is better than ever this year, as we don’t have Boris Becker anymore stating the obvious every few seconds, now that he’s Novak Djokovic’s coach. Hopefully Tim Henman can land a major coaching position in time for next year!

manages to deliver with it’s own quirky style, and cast changes over the last few years that have refreshed things and have continued to make it a consistently enjoy­ able watch.

q

Here’s a cracking excuse to pull a TV show. ITV have dumped the useless Splash from their schedules because Tom Daley is too busy getting ready for the Olympics. I Congratulations must thought the Rio games were go to long­running CSI, in 2016 and not 2015, but with Channel Five screening that doesn’t stop a pretty episode 300 last Tuesday lame porkie to cancel an night. It’s a drama that still awful programme.

q

Friday July 4 02:50 This Is BBC Two 00:35 This Week 01:20 Holiday Weatherview 01:25 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Crimewatch Roadshow 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Claimed and Shamed 12:30 Operation Hospital Food 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:45 Wimbledon 2014 17:30 World Cup Finals 2014 20:10 BBC News 20:35 BBC London News 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 Celebrity MasterChef 22:00 New Tricks 23:00 BBC News 23:25 BBC Regional News and Weather 23:35 John Bishop Live: Rollercoaster Tour 2012

04/07 00:20 BBC2 00:20 Business Boomers 01:20 The Culture Show 01:50 Natural World

05:00 Music Technology

01:40 Jackpot247

05:30 Schools ­ Play On!

04:00 Tonight

06:30 Schools: Your Paintings

04:20 ITV Nightscreen

06:55 Wonders of Nature: Birds of Paradise ­ Display

05:15 May the Best House Win 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Good Morning Britain

07:00 This Is BBC Two

09:30 Lorraine

07:15 Homes Under the Hammer

10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show

08:15 The Travel Show

11:30 This Morning

08:40 Helicopter Heroes 09:25 The Great British Sewing

13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV News Meridian

Bee

15:00 60 Minute Makeover

10:25 First Time on the Front Line

16:00 Dickinson's Real Deal

10:55 Live Formula 1

16:59 ITV Meridian Weather

12:30 Daily Politics 13:30 Wimbledon 2014

17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News Meridian

21:00 Today at Wimbledon

19:30 ITV News and Weather

22:00 Gardeners' World

20:00 Emmerdale

22:30 The Machine Gun and

20:30 Coronation Street

Skye's Band of Brothers 23:30 Newsnight

21:00 You've Been Framed!

21:30 FIFA World Cup Live 2014

CELEBRITY MASTERCHEF The remaining four famous faces take on one more challenge in their bid to win the last two semi­final places. All they have to do is cook a two­course meal, to be tasted by Gregg Wallace and John Torode, as well as 2010 Celebrity MasterChef champion Lisa Faulkner and previous finalists Christine Hamilton and Andi Peters.

00:00 One Born Every Minute 01:00 Embarrassing Bodies Down Under 01:55 Meet the Mormons 02:50 My Last Summer 03:45 Dispatches 04:10 This Old Thing: The Vintage Clothes Show 05:05 Mary's Silver Service 06:00 Deal or No Deal 06:55 Countdown 07:40 3rd Rock from the Sun 08:30 The King of Queens 08:55 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 11:00 Undercover Boss Canada 12:00 Come Dine with Me 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Come Dine with Me 14:40 A Place in the Sun 15:40 Countdown 16:30 Deal or No Deal 17:30 Draw It! 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 Deal or No Deal 22:00 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown 23:00 Friday Night Dinner 23:30 The Inbetweeners

00:00 Big Brother's Bit on the Side 01:00 SuperCasino 04:10 9/11: Mass Murder in the Sky 05:00 Wildlife SOS 05:20 Divine Designs 05:45 House Doctor 06:10 Great Scientists 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:55 Milkshake! Monkey 08:00 Pip Ahoy!

08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Little Princess 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Cowboy Builders 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 The Trail to Hope Rose 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 Can't Pay? We'll Take It Away!

21:00 Flight MH370: 118 Days & Counting 22:00 Big Brother 23:30 Big Brother's Bit on the Side

39

Saturday July 5 00:35 Match of the Day: FIFA

00:00 Weather

World Cup Highlights

00:05 Glastonbury 2014

01:20 EastEnders

02:05 Match of the Day: FIFA

03:15 Weather for the Week

World Cup Replay

Ahead

03:50 Question Time 04:50 This Is BBC Two

03:20 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast

06:30 World Cup Films 08:30 Match of the Day: FIFA

11:00 Saturday Kitchen Live

World Cup Highlights

12:30 Paul Hollywood's Pies &

09:15 Formula 1

Puds

10:55 Live Formula 1

13:00 Bargain Hunt

12:05 Racing Legends 13:05 Live Formula 1

14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:15 Wimbledon 2014

15:30 Escape to the Country 16:30 Flog It!

17:30 World Cup Finals 2014

17:30 Wimbledon 2014

20:10 BBC News; Regional News

21:00 Today at Wimbledon

and Weather

22:00 QI XL

20:30 A Question of Sport: Super Saturday 21:10 The National Lottery: Break the Safe 22:00 Casualty 22:50 Mrs Brown's Boys 23:20 BBC News; Weather 23:40 Live at the Apollo

22:45 Last Chance Harvey

00:15 ITV News and Weather 00:45 ITV News Meridian 00:55 The Cube 01:45 Jackpot247 04:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 04:40 ITV Nightscreen 07:00 Fort Boyard Ultimate Challenge 07:25 Dino Dan: Trek's Adventures 07:50 Canimals 08:05 Sooty 08:20 Digimon Fusion 08:45 Horrid Henry 09:00 Adventure Time 09:25 ITV News 09:30 Weekend 10:25 The Hungry Sailors 11:30 Tour de France Live 18:00 The Chase 19:00 Off Their Rockers 19:30 ITV News Meridian 19:45 ITV News and Weather 20:00 You've Been Framed!

20:30 Tipping Point: Lucky Stars 21:30 FIFA World Cup Live 2014

00:05 The Inbetweeners 01:05 Role Models 02:50 The Angelos Epithemiou Show 03:15 I'm Spazticus 03:40 Desperate Housewives 04:25 Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners 05:15 Beat My Build 06:10 Deal or No Deal 07:05 The Hoobs 07:30 Trans World Sport 08:25 The Grid 08:55 The Morning Line 10:00 Weekend Kitchen 11:00 Frasier 12:00 The Big Bang Theory 13:20 The Simpsons 13:50 The Tomorrow People 14:40 Channel 4 Racing 17:10 Come Dine with Me 19:40 Channel 4 News 20:10 Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen 23:00 Attack the Block

SHE'S 78, HE'S 39: AGE GAP LOVE Six people whose partners are much younger than they are reveal why being of different generations is no barrier to romance. Marilyn's relationship with husband William began when she was 45 and he was 16 and was tested from the start by abuse from friends and neighbours, while Edna (78) and Simon (39) bonded over their mutual love of organ music.

00:30 Stand by Your Man 01:15 SuperCasino 04:10 The 12­Year­Old Shopaholic, and Other Big Spending Kids 05:00 Wildlife SOS 05:20 Divine Designs 05:45 House Doctor 06:10 Great Scientists 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Abby's Flying Fairy School 07:25 Bubble Guppies 07:40 The Mr Men Show 07:50 Chloe's Closet 08:00 Milkshake! Monkey 08:05 Bananas in Pyjamas 08:20 Make Way for Noddy 08:35 City of Friends 08:55 Little Princess 09:05 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:20 Angelina Ballerina 09:40 Rupert Bear 09:55 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:15 Jelly Jamm 10:30 LazyTown 11:00 Access 11:05 The Hotel Inspector Returns 12:05 Big Brother 13:25 Random Hearts 16:00 Anzio 18:15 5 News Weekend 18:20 Columbo: Suitable for Framing 19:40 Columbo: Murder by the Book 21:00 She's 78, He's 39: Age Gap Love 22:00 Big Brother 23:00 Benefits Britain: Life on the Dole

Sunday July 6 01:45 Match of the Day: FIFA 00:30 Match of the Day: FIFA

World Cup Replay

World Cup Highlights

03:30 This Is BBC Two

01:10 DOA

07:00 This Is BBC Two

02:40 Weather for the Week Ahead

07:10 East of Sudan

02:45 BBC News

08:40 Gardeners' World

07:00 Breakfast

09:10 World Cup Films

10:00 The Andrew Marr Show

10:45 Match of the Day: FIFA

11:00 Sunday Morning Live

World Cup Highlights

12:00 Sunday Politics

11:30 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites

13:15 BBC News

13:00 Live Formula 1

13:25 Weather for the Week Ahead

16:30 Racing Legends

13:30 Bargain Hunt

17:30 Flog It!

14:00 Wimbledon 2014

18:05 Songs of Praise

14:50 Wimbledon 2014

18:45 Wimbledon 2014

18:45 BBC News; Regional News

21:00 The Quest for Bannockburn

and Weather

22:00 A Cabbie Abroad

19:10 Countryfile

23:00 Mock the Week

20:10 Antiques Roadshow

23:35 Today at Wimbledon

00:15 ITV News and Weather 00:29 ITV Meridian Weather 00:30 Fletch 02:15 Jackpot247 04:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 04:40 ITV Nightscreen 07:00 Fort Boyard Ultimate Challenge 07:25 Dino Dan: Trek's Adventures 07:35 Dino Dan 07:50 Canimals 08:05 Sooty 08:20 Digimon Fusion 08:45 Horrid Henry 09:00 Deadtime Stories 09:25 ITV News 09:30 Weekend 10:25 Love Your Garden 11:30 Tour de France Live 18:00 Tipping Point 19:00 You've Been Framed!

19:30 ITV News Meridian 19:45 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Despicable Me 22:00 The Nation's Favourite Motown Song 23:30 ITV News and Weather 23:44 ITV Meridian Weather 23:45 The Cube

21:10 Casualty 22:00 Common 23:30 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 23:55 Have I Got Old News for You

06/07 00:10 BBC2 00:10 A Single Man

COMMON One­off drama from Jimmy McGovern, exploring the possible consequences of the UK's Joint Enterprise law, by which more than one person can be charged with the same offence. Seventeen­year­ old Johnjo gives his cousin Tony and some friends a lift to a pizza parlour for food, unaware their real intention is to `sort out' a local loudmouth. Things soon get out of hand, however, and an innocent bystander is fatally stabbed ­ and despite being in the car all the time, Johnjo finds himself charged with murder along with everyone else.

00:40 Paul Chowdhry: What's Happening White People?

01:40 The Last Exorcism 03:10 The Guides 03:25 Hollyoaks 05:35 Deal or No Deal 06:30 Kirstie's Vintage Gems 06:50 The Hoobs 07:40 British F3 International Series 08:10 Triathlon 08:35 How I Met Your Mother 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 10:30 Sunday Brunch 13:30 George Clarke's Amazing Spaces 14:30 The Big Bang Theory 15:30 The Simpsons 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 A Knight's Tale 20:35 Channel 4 News 21:00 Johnny English Reborn 23:00 Sean Lock: Purple Van Man

00:00 Big Brother's Bit on the Psych 01:00 SuperCasino 04:10 50 Shocking Facts About Diet and Exercise 05:00 House Doctor 05:25 Make It Big 05:50 The Funky Valley Show 06:00 Angels of Jarm 06:10 Roary the Racing Car 06:20 Angels of Jarm 06:30 The Funky Valley Show 06:40 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Abby's Flying Fairy School 07:25 Bubble Guppies 07:40 The Mr Men Show 07:50 Chloe's Closet 08:00 Roobarb and Custard Too 08:10 Bananas in Pyjamas 08:20 Make Way for Noddy 08:35 City of Friends 08:45 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 08:55 Little Princess 09:05 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:15 Olly the Little White Van 09:25 Angelina Ballerina 09:35 Milkshake! Show Songs 09:40 Rupert Bear 09:55 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:15 Jelly Jamm 10:30 LazyTown 11:00 Access 11:05 Meerkat Manor 11:30 Big Brother 12:30 The Dog Rescuers 13:30 Sabrina the Teenage Witch 15:15 Space Jam 16:55 A Goofy Movie 18:20 The Fox and the Hound 19:55 5 News Weekend 20:00 Rush Hour 22:00 Big Brother 23:00 Lethal Weapon 4

40

Monday July 7 00:25 Sliding Doors 02:00 Weather for the Week Ahead 02:05 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Heir Hunters 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Fake Britain 12:30 Operation Hospital Food 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Perfection 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 Wanted Down Under 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 How Safe Is Your House?

21:00 EastEnders 21:30 Panorama 22:00 John Bishop's Australia 23:00 BBC News 23:25 BBC Regional News and Weather 23:35 Guilty by Association 07/07 00:35 BBC2 00:35 Heavenly Creatures 02:05 Countryfile 03:05 Holby City 04:05 This Is BBC Two 07:05 Homes Under the Hammer 08:05 Animal Park

08:50 Bargain Hunt 09:20 Helicopter Heroes 10:05 The Planners 11:05 Watchdog Test House 11:35 Click 12:00 BBC News 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Breakaway 14:45 Cash in the Attic 15:30 The Hairy Bikers' Food Tour of Britain 16:15 Natural World 17:15 Frozen Planet 18:15 Antiques Roadshow 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Flog It! Trade Secrets 20:00 Paul Hollywood's Pies & Puds 20:30 University Challenge: Class of 2014 21:30 RHS Hampton Court Palace Flower Show 2014 22:00 Scotland: For Richer or Poorer?

23:00 QI 23:30 Newsnight

00:45 The Unforgettable 01:15 The Store 03:15 Motorsport UK 04:05 British Superbike Championship Highlights 04:55 ITV Nightscreen 05:15 May the Best House Win 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:00 Tour de France Live 17:30 You've Been Framed!

18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Countrywise 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 The Cube 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV News Meridian 23:35 You Cannot Be Serious!

00:00 01:55 03:50 04:05 05:00 05:55 06:00 06:55 07:40 08:30 08:55 10:00 11:00 12:00 13:00 13:05 14:40 Sun 15:40 16:30 17:30 18:00 19:00 19:30 20:00 21:00 21:30 22:00

Get Him to the Greek This Boy's Life Swimming SuperScrimpers Beat My Build Kirstie's Vintage Gems Deal or No Deal Countdown 3rd Rock from the Sun The King of Queens Everybody Loves Raymond Frasier Undercover Boss USA Come Dine with Me: Ireland Channel 4 News Summary Come Dine with Me: Ireland A Place in the Sun: Summer Countdown Deal or No Deal Ultimate Dealer Couples Come Dine with Me The Simpsons Hollyoaks Channel 4 News Dispatches Jamie's Money Saving Meals The Armstrong Lie

THE ARMSTRONG LIE Documentary charting legendary cyclist Lance Armstrong's attempt to win the Tour de France again four years after retiring. In the course of film­ ing director Alex Gibney and his crew are present­ ed with revelations about Armstrong that will stun the sporting world.

01:25 World's 02:10 SuperCasino 04:10 Skyscraper 05:00 House Doctor 05:25 Make It Big 05:50 The Funky Valley Show 06:00 Angels of Jarm 06:10 Roary the Racing Car 06:20 Angels of Jarm 06:30 The Funky Valley Show 06:40 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 08:00 Pip Ahoy!

08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Little Princess 09:10 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Cowboy Builders 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 Amber's Story 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 Skyscraper 21:00 Police Interceptors 22:00 Benefits Britain: Life on the Dole 23:00 Big Brother

Tuesday July 8 00:35 Commonwealth City 01:35 Weather for the Week Ahead 01:40 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Heir Hunters 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Fake Britain 12:30 Operation Hospital Food 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Perfection 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 Wanted Down Under 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 Room 101 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 World Cup Finals 2014 08/07 00:20 BBC2 00:20 A Cabbie Abroad 01:20 I Bought a Rainforest 02:20 This Is BBC Two 05:00 Schools ­ How to Write 05:30 Schools ­ Simon Armitage, Writing Poems 06:00 Schools ­ Bringing Books to Life 2 06:55 Wonders of Nature: Stoat ­ Play 07:00 This Is BBC Two 07:05 Homes Under the Hammer

08:05 Animal Park 08:50 Fake Britain 09:20 Helicopter Heroes 10:05 Watchdog 11:05 Watchdog Test House 11:35 HARDtalk 12:00 BBC News 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 The Super League Show 15:00 Cash in the Attic 15:30 The Hairy Bikers' Food Tour of Britain 16:15 Natural World 17:15 Frozen Planet 18:15 Antiques Roadshow 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Flog It! Trade Secrets 20:00 Paul Hollywood's Pies & Puds 20:30 Mary Berry Cooks 21:00 University Challenge: Class of 2014 22:00 Shopgirls: The True Story of Life Behind the Counter 23:00 The Sarah Millican Television Programme 23:30 Newsnight

00:05 01:05 04:00 04:40 05:15 06:05 07:00 09:30 10:25 11:30 13:30 14:30 14:55 15:00 16:00 16:59 17:00 18:00 19:00 19:30 20:00 21:00 21:30

Ray Mears' Close Encounters Jackpot247 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA ITV Nightscreen May the Best House Win The Jeremy Kyle Show Good Morning Britain Lorraine The Jeremy Kyle Show This Morning Loose Women ITV News and Weather ITV News Meridian 60 Minute Makeover Dickinson's Real Deal ITV Meridian Weather Tipping Point The Chase ITV News Meridian ITV News and Weather Emmerdale You've Been Framed!

FIFA World Cup Live 2014

WORLD CUP FINALS 2014 Coverage of the first semi­final (Kick­off 9.00pm), which takes place at the Estadio Mineirao in Belo Horizonte, Brazil, and features the winning sides from the first and second quarter­finals.

00:35 Random Acts: Big Dance 2014 00:40 Beauty Queen or Bust 01:35 The Secret Millions 02:30 Scandal 03:15 The Mill 05:05 Beat My Build 06:00 SuperScrimpers 06:05 Deal or No Deal 07:00 Countdown 07:45 3rd Rock from the Sun 08:35 The King of Queens 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 11:00 Undercover Boss USA 12:00 Come Dine with Me: Ireland 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Come Dine with Me: Ireland 14:40 A Place in the Sun 15:40 Countdown 16:30 Deal or No Deal 17:30 Ultimate Dealer 18:00 Couples Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 Kirstie's Fill Your House for Free 22:00 Embarrassing Bodies 23:00 Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares USA 23:55 The Secret Life of Students

00:00 Big Brother's Bit on the Side 01:00 She's 78, He's 39: Age Gap Love 02:00 SuperCasino 04:10 Under the Dome 05:00 Wildlife SOS 05:20 Divine Designs 05:45 House Doctor 06:35 Great Artists 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 08:00 Pip Ahoy!

08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Little Princess 09:10 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 09:55 Milkshake! Monkey 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Cowboy Builders 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 Shattered Silence 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 Whale Adventure with Nigel Marven 21:00 The Dog Rescuers 22:00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 23:00 Big Brother

41

Wednesday July 9 00:10 BBC News 00:35 National Lottery Update 00:35 BBC Regional News and Weather 00:45 John Bishop's Australia 01:45 Weather for the Week Ahead 01:50 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Heir Hunters 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Fake Britain 12:30 Operation Hospital Food 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Perfection 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 Wanted Down Under 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 The One Show 21:00 World Cup Finals 2014 09/07 00:20 BBC2 00:20 Scotland: For Richer or Poorer?

01:20 Seven Wonders of Brazil 02:20 Match of the Day: FIFA World Cup Replay 04:05 This Is BBC Two 05:00 Schools ­ True Stories 06:00 Life Stories 07:00 Homes Under the Hammer 08:00 Match of the Day: FIFA World

Cup Highlights 08:45 Fake Britain 09:15 Call the Council 10:00 Antiques Roadshow 11:00 Tigers About the House 12:00 BBC News 12:30 Daily Politics 14:00 Animal Park 14:30 Cash in the Attic 15:00 Charley Hull ­ Teenage Tigress 15:30 The Hairy Bikers' Food Tour of Britain 16:15 Natural World 17:15 Frozen Planet 18:15 Antiques Roadshow 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Flog It! Trade Secrets 20:00 Paul Hollywood's Pies & Puds 20:30 Mary Berry Cooks 21:00 RHS Hampton Court Palace Flower Show 2014 22:00 Coast Australia 22:50 Coast 23:00 Episodes 23:30 Newsnight

00:15 ITV News and Weather 00:45 ITV News Meridian 00:50 Tales from Northumberland with Robson Green 01:20 Jackpot247 04:00 Loose Women 04:45 ITV Nightscreen 05:15 May the Best House Win 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV News Meridian 15:00 60 Minute Makeover 16:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 You've Been Framed!

21:30 FIFA World Cup Live 2014

01:00 Random Acts: Big Dance 2014 01:05 Poker 02:00 KOTV Boxing Weekly 02:25 Trans World Sport 03:25 The Grid 03:50 Triathlon 04:20 British F3 International Series 04:45 Beat My Build 05:40 River Cottage 06:05 Deal or No Deal 07:00 Countdown 07:45 3rd Rock from the Sun 08:35 The King of Queens 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 11:00 Undercover Boss USA 12:00 Come Dine with Me: Ireland 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Come Dine with Me: Ireland 14:40 A Place in the Sun 15:40 Countdown 16:30 Deal or No Deal 17:30 Ultimate Dealer 18:00 Couples Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 This Old Thing: The Vintage Clothes Show 22:00 One Born Every Minute 23:00 16 Kids and Counting

16 KIDS AND COUNTING The documentary explores how fathers cope with the demands of a large family. In Bournemouth, Dorset, dad­of­13 Pete Lewis's only son Charles has recently moved out, leaving him the sole male in the house, while in Ramsgate, Kent, Gary Freer gives up his job as a lorry driver to help his wife Kirsty look after their nine children, with two requiring extra care.

00:00 Big Brother's Bit on the Side 01:00 Wentworth Prison 02:00 SuperCasino 04:10 Brand New House for 5K 05:00 Wildlife SOS 05:20 Divine Designs 05:45 House Doctor 06:35 Great Artists 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 08:00 Pip Ahoy!

08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Little Princess 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Cowboy Builders 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 A Woman Betrayed 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 Cricket 2014 21:00 Brand New House for 5K 22:00 The Hotel Inspector Returns 23:00 Big Brother

Thursday July 10 00:10 BBC News 00:35 National Lottery Update 00:35 BBC Regional News and Weather 00:45 John Bishop's Australia 01:45 Weather for the Week Ahead 01:50 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Heir Hunters 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Fake Britain 12:30 Operation Hospital Food 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Perfection 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 Wanted Down Under 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 Motorway Cops 22:00 Celebrity MasterChef 23:00 BBC News 23:25 BBC Regional News and Weather 23:35 Question Time 10/07 00:20 BBC2 00:20 Shopgirls: The True Story of Life Behind the Counter 01:20 A Very British Airline 02:20 Match of the Day: FIFA World Cup Replay 04:05 This Is BBC Two

05:00 Schools: Your Body, Your Image 05:40 Schools ­ Seeking Refuge 06:00 Schools ­ Same but Different 07:00 This Is BBC Two 07:05 Homes Under the Hammer 08:05 Match of the Day: FIFA World Cup Highlights 08:50 Fake Britain 09:20 Call the Council 10:05 Escape to the Continent 11:05 Gardeners' World 11:35 HARDtalk 12:00 BBC News 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Live Golf: The Women's British Open 18:00 Frozen Planet 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Flog It! Trade Secrets 20:00 Paul Hollywood's Pies & Puds 20:30 Mary Berry Cooks 21:00 RHS Hampton Court Palace Flower Show 2014 22:00 The Honourable Woman 23:00 Mock the Week 23:30 Newsnight

00:15 ITV News and Weather 00:45 ITV News Meridian 00:50 Perspectives 01:50 Jackpot247 04:00 British Touring Car Championship 05:15 May the Best House Win 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV News Meridian 15:00 60 Minute Makeover 16:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Tonight 21:00 Emmerdale 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Champneys 23:00 ITV News at Ten 23:30 ITV News Meridian 23:35 Robbie Coltrane: B­Road Britain

EMBARRASSING BODIES Exploring physiological concerns surrounding men and women's more intimate areas.

00:00 Britain's Youngest Carers 01:00 Random Acts: Big Dance 2014 01:05 Superstar DJs: With Annie Mac 01:30 The Simpsons 01:55 Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares USA 02:50 Lolita 05:10 Beat My Build 06:05 Deal or No Deal 07:00 Countdown 07:45 3rd Rock from the Sun 08:35 The King of Queens 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:55 Frasier 11:00 Undercover Boss USA 11:55 Come Dine with Me: Ireland 12:55 Channel 4 News Summary 13:00 Come Dine with Me: Ireland 14:30 Channel 4 Racing 16:30 Deal or No Deal 17:30 Ultimate Dealer 18:00 Couples Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 George Clarke's Amazing Spaces 22:00 Embarrassing Bodies 23:00 The Secret Life of Students

00:00 Big Brother's Bit on the Side 01:00 SuperCasino 04:10 World's Busiest 05:00 Wildlife SOS 05:20 Divine Designs 05:45 House Doctor 06:35 Great Artists 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 08:00 Pip Ahoy!

08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Little Princess 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Cowboy Builders 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 Soldier Love Story 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 Cricket 2014 21:00 Black Market Britain: Undercover Sting 22:00 OAPs Behaving Badly 23:00 Big Brother

42

Friday, July 4, 2014

AUCTIONS

ACCOUNTANTS Pro Business Support – for all your accountancy needs in English; bookkeep­ ing, taxes, wage slips and more. We cater for compa­ nies and self­employed peo­ ple; we can deal with every­ thing for you. Call us on 966 923 963 for first consultation free of charge.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS

BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES Ref. DB6460L 85,000€ Restaurant in enviable loca­ tion with no local competi­ tion and regular clientele.

This profitable, established leasehold restaurant has a fully fitted modern kitchen, disabled facilities and a fresh recently painted interi­ or. directbusinessbrokers .com Tel 966 44 33 81 Ref. DB6435L 97,000€ Large successfully run leasehold Beauty Salon near Quesada. Spacious salon with 7 rooms and rental income from separate hair salon. All fitness machines, treatment beds and tables included in the sale. directbusinessbro­ kers.com Tel 966 44 33 81 Ref. DB6457L 42,000€ Excellent opportunity to pur­ chase a well established and thriving leasehold Bar/Cafeteria in a central location in Torrevieja.

Beautiful established garden and south west facing ter­ race with BBQ and all year round trade. directbusiness­ brokers.com Tel 966 44 33 81 Ref. DB6456L 20,000€ Lively, popular leasehold Bar & Restaurant in a lovely position on La Manga over­

CATERING

BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY

looking the port. Fully fitted kitchen and extensive sunny terraces. Freehold also available for purchase and flat above the premises. directbusinessbrokers.com Tel 966 44 33 81 Ref. DB6455L 150,000€ Profitable leasehold Café Bar, competitively priced for quick sale. Air conditioned interior with stylish decor and large terraces. Multiple income streams: food, drink, internet facilities, games and ice cream. Offering great potential for further growth. directbusinessbrokers.com Tel 966 44 33 81 Ref. DB6446L 74,950€ Beautifully presented lease­ hold Garden Furniture Business, recently reduced in price. A successful and easy to run business with established website, signifi­ cant internet sales, cus­ tomer database and excel­ lent reputation locally. direct­ businessbrokers.com Tel 966 44 33 81

BUSINESS OPPORTUNI­ TY, two clothing shops for sale either as a pair or sep­ arate, both trading, sold fully equipped and stocked, a great opportunity for some­ one wanting their own busi­ ness, for more comprehen­ sive information contact Glen on 606926437 (164)

CHURCH SERVICES International Christian Assembly, Calle Pilar de Horadada 5, Torrevieja.

Evangelical non­denomina­ tional church. Sunday serv­ ices 11am.

Children's

CONSTRUCTION

BARBER

ALARMS

church 11am. House groups in Torrevieja, Los Balcones, San Javier. Ladies meeting Thursdays 11am. Craft club, Tuesdays, 2pm.

Pastor, Rafael Restrepo. All nation­ alities welcome. Call 966 799 273 or 660 127 276.

Pilar Christian Community Church Calle Canalejas 3.

Pilar de la Horadada.

Sunday Service at 11am, and Thursday at 5pm for Prayer and Praise and Worship. Home groups meet during the week. All welcome from any church background or none. For further information contact PilarChristian.CommunityC hurch@gmail.com 968575417 or 966848806.

Reg No:2009­SG/A The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (Mormons) meet at 10.00 each Sunday at their Torrevieja meetinghouse in the Torreaguas building on the corner of Rambla Juan Mateo Garcia 104, close to the windmill in Torrevieja, 667 533 597.

The rainbow centre for spiri­ tual awareness We meet in the function room at sacos bar el leiminar just of the CV 905 Rojales to torrievieja

road We have a divine serv­ ice on Sundays at 11am and on Wednesdays we hold an evening of clairvoyance at 7.30 pm Also on Wednesdays there is an open circle at 5.30 for those who are interested in clair­ voyance Healing is always available by certified healers after each meeting A warm welcome to friends old and new The mediums for the month of July 2014 are Wednesdays 2nd Debbie Blevins 9th Belinda & Jill 16th Trish and Shirley 23rd Sammy Fitzsimons 30th Paul & jennet. Closed until august 31st then Belinda & Sandra. Sundays 6th Paul & jennet 13th Belinda Bradley 20th ray bailey 27th Trish.

For further information call Trish on 966 844 795 or Email the rainbowcentre­ costablana@gmail.com

CARPENTER

CAR HIRE

CARAVANS FOR SALE 2006 Fendt, twin bed, 4 birth caravan 560, good condi­ tion, 6000€ / 2006 6 birth, Pennine sterling folding camper, good condition 4000€ Call 642 301 448 (177)

CLEANERS

43

Friday, July 4, 2014

CARS FOR SALE Car insurance quotes – new extra discount on fully comprehensive policies at the price of third party!

Excellent prices for expats, all policies and call centre staff in English. We will call you back with a quote. 966 923 963

INSURANCE CASER SEGUROS ­ for all your insurance needs, home, car, health, funeral.

Policies available in English and German.

Call Professional Business Support on 966 923 963 for a quick quote from our friendly staff.

PROPERTY FOR RENT Viva Villa and Vacation Services, For Short or Long Term Rentals visit: www.vil­ laandvacation.com or Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

Santiago de la Ribera 2 bed­ room townhouse close to beach and shops with com­ munal pool €350 monthly short or long term lease Call 0044 7890996330 ­ 968570645 (162) Ref: 61, A lovely two bed­ roomed ground floor apart­ ment, located in the centre of the small Spanish town of Los Montesinos, With a pleasant communal swim­ ming pool adjacent & all amenities in walking dis­ tance. Long and short term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 112, Spacious 3 bed­ room detached villa with its private pool is located on the El Raso urbanisation near Guardamar. Convenient for all amenities, shops, super­ market, restaurants and bars. Short term rental avail­ able. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

CAR BREAKERS

LONG TERM RENTALS WANTED! Properties, all types, in the Torrevieja area wanted for long term rentals.

Call us on 96 692 3963

PROPERTY FOR SALE 2 or 3 bed / 2 bath apart­ ments in San Miguel. Lift, communal rooftop pool & solarium, video entry sys­ tem. Available for short or long term rent from 350 pcm. Tel 966723437 or 616 493 487. (184) BPP­1808 230,000€ ­ 3

BEDROOM DETACHED HOUSE FOR SALE in LOS MONTISINOS, ALICANTE, SPAIN TEL: 966443381 BPP­128 1 Bedroom Bungalow For Sale Quesada, Costa Blanca South, Spain TEL: 966443381 BPP­1386 2 Bedroom Apartment For Sale Ciudad Quesada, Alicante, Spain TEL: 966443381 BPP­224 2 Bedroom Bungalow For Sale Quesada, Costa Blanca South, Spain TEL: 966443381 BPP­1620 3 Bedroom Villa For Sale Ciudad Quesada,

Alicante, Spain TEL: 966443381 BPP­57 2 Bedroom Semi Detached For Sale Quesada, Costa Blanca South, Spain TEL: 966443381 BPP­212 3 Bedroom Detached Villa For Sale Quesada, Costa Blanca South, Spain TEL: 966443381 BPP­498 2 Bedroom Villa For Sale Quesada, Alicante, Spain TEL: 966443381 BPP­435 3 Bedroom Villa For Sale Quesada, Alicante, Spain TEL: 966443381

Ref: KP3100, €183,000.

Three bedroom, two bath­ room detached villa, located in San Luis, on a 450sqm plot, with communal pool.

Garage to side of house.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Immaculate ground floor Duplex, 2 beds, 2 bath, Private Parking, Situated in Novamar, Gran Alacant.

Price includes very tasteful furniture and white goods.

Walking distance to all local amenities and beach. Now only 129,750 euros. Ref No K24. 627 711 155

UPHOLSTERY CLEANING

DRAINAGE PETS

44

Friday, July 4, 2014

2 Bed, 1 Bath Ground floor duplex. Central heating, Grills, Fully furnished, Glazed in Galleria, 2 com­ munal pools, private parking and walking distance to the Gran Alacant commercial centre. Situated in the popu­ lar urbanisation of Puerto Marino. Now only 96,500 euros for quick sale Ref No. K46. 627 711 155 Recently reduced 4 Bed, 3 Bath Villa, in Gran Alacant.

Quiet Location, Exceptional Views. Converted Under build, 2 Lounges, 2 Kitchens, Private Garage and being sold Fully Furnished, now only 239.950 Ref: L81 Tel. 680333242 Gran Alacant Detached villa, located in a very sought after location.Situated on a 560m2 S/W facing plot and constructed in 2005.

Comprising of 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms (2 full baths), Lounge­Diner, fully equipped Kitchen, Porch and Solarium with Alicante & Sea Views. ref.L81. €258,000 neg.

Tel. 680333242 Gran Alacant Town House with a difference.

2 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, Glazed in Porch, Quiet Location, Extra storage areas, and South Facing Private Pool as well as 2 communal pools. Fully Furnished, All mod cons.

Greenland Views and all local amenities close by.

Ref. No L79. 179.000 euros 680 333 242 2 Bedroom, 2 Bathroom, Unfurnished Mid Terraced Townhouse in GA. Recently decorated throughout means this property is a very clean black canvass.

Has Air­Con & Security Grills and the use of a Communal Pool. Price recently reduced to 110.000e Ref.K12 Tel. 627711155 Reduced for a quick sale to 95.000 e 2 Bedroom, 1 bath­ room, Top Floor Duplex in Gran Alacant. Very Modern Property with Many extras.

Glazed in Porch, Roof Top Solarium, Wooden Flooring.

Immaculate condition and ready to move in. Ref. K15 Tel. 627711155.

Gran Alacant, Situated in the "Alto" part of Gran Alacant, this 3 bedroomed, 4th floor apartment, offers luxury accommodation, with absolutely stunning sea views, as well as views of Alicante bay and the famous Santa Barbara Castle.The apartment is 89 square meters with open plan kitchen / living room and includes all electrical appli­ ances & furniture also there is a utility room, open ter­ race, and private parking.

The urbanisation also offers many communal pools, ten­

PLUMBERS

POOL TABLES

POOLS

SURVEYOR

nis courts, restaurants and bars. Ref. K20 €109,000 Tel 680333242 Viva Villa and Vacation Services are pleased to offer property sales for the Torrevieja and Oriheula areas of the Costa Blanca, Spain. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 or Visit : www.villaandvacation.com Gran Alacant villa located in a very quiet area , situated at the end of a cul­de­sac means there is no through traffic.3 bed, 3 bath, 330m2 plot, established large gar­ dens, working fireplace, solar panel for hot water,pri­ vate parking, south facing great views, fully furnished, fantastic opportunity. ref.

L85. €215,000 Tel 680333242 Beach front Line property, over looks Carabassi Beach, Gran Alacant. 2 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, Secure Underground Parking, Fully furnished, Roof Top Solarium. 3 Large Communal Pools, Fantastic communal Gardens, Tennis Courts and much more.

125.000 Euros Ref No. K23.

Tel. 627 711 155

REMOVALS

Lovely clean detached Villa just as you enter Gran Alacant. Very central loca­ tion, 3 Bedrooms, 3 Bathrooms, Glazed in Porch, Garden Shed, Private Parking, Attractive Gardens, Private pool Ref: K59 240.000e Tel. 627711155 Offers Invited on a mid Terraced Town house in Gran Alacant. Comprising of 3 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, Lounge Diner, Galleria, Solarium, Under build.

Communal Pool and Gardens, and with Exceptional Views of Alicante. Being Sold Fully Furnished including White Goods. Ref. K42 Tel. 627711155 (reasonable offers only) Gran Alacant, Situated on the very first urbanisation as you enter Gran Alacant, this 2nd floor duplex offers taste and quality. Comprising of 2 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, lounge­diner, independent kitchen, full roof­top solari­ um with superb views and recently glazed in porch offering extra living area as well as extra privacy as the glass is mirrored. Ref.K44 €108,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant south­facing, very private villa, with wood­ land and Alicante views.

Situated at the end of a small cul­de­sac which means this villa enjoys a very peaceful location.3 Bedrooms with fitted wardrobes, 3 Bathrooms, lounge­diner with working

fireplace, fully fitted kitchen with including white goods, large front porch, solarium,workshop and stor­ age in under build, central heating, air con H/C, ceiling fans, grills, UK T.V, off road parking and plenty of out­ side parking also. Due to its orientation of this property enjoys full sun, all day, something very important in the winter months. Ref.K24. €237,000 Tel 680333242

QUIZZES Experienced quiz­ master/question setter with personality available to host quiz nights in local bars.

Tel:­ 664 838 581

SITUATIONS VACANT RADIO COSTA INTERNA­ TIONAL needs motivated sellers. Spanish, English and German language is a bonus but not essential.

Training and good earnings guaranteed. For more info call 644 126 600 or email info@radicocostainterna­ tional.com

WANTED

Situations Vacant. Top Chef Required for The Med Bistro Bar, Guardamar. Excellent package and incentives. Tel. 0044 7917 1658 65 or email: andysteve@aol.com (168) JOVAL ACCESIBILIDAD, an accessibility solutions com­ pany, is looking for a com­ mercial to promote and sell their products throughout the province of Alicante.

English and Spanish is essential. To make an appointment call 966 090 762. (178)

SITUATIONS WANTED Gardening, property mainte­ nance, translations, cheap rates call David 722521654.

SOLICITORS Need English speaking solicitors in Torrevieja?

Let us help to solve your problems with debt recov­ ery, divorce, property, fraud, criminal defence. Call us on 966 923 963, give us brief details and get in touch with your specialist solicitor today

WIG SPECIALIST SALON MARGARETHAS, 23 years in Torrevieja Hair/Wig specialist for Medical illness and Hair Loss problems. We offer dif­ ferent Hair Replacements, top fillers, Hair prostheses, Toupees and Wigs, Natural and Artificial hair and much more. Also fashion/festival accessories TV/TS are wel­ come to our service. Please call our salon reception for an appointment with Margaretha on Tel no 966 921 846 Torrevieja (90)

VAN HIRE

Friday, July 4, 2014

Greenside Gossip

45

IVIE DAVIES takes a weekly look at the golf scene - golfdavies@gmail.com

IS THE TIGER-TIGER BURNING BRIGHT? It’s great to see Tiger Woods back on the fairways and greens and the 14­time Major winner still loves the sport, but golf must plan for the day when he hangs up his clubs. Golf really needs to get away from the “We Need Tiger Woods” notion because his future is uncer­ tain, to put it mildly.

Tiger is not the player he was anyway; he is now 38­years­ old, has had a back operation, knee troubles and possesses a swing that is extremely hard on the body.

He has also hammered away in the gym for years, Naval Seal training, doing ridiculously big weights and turning him­ self into a pseudo Adonis, and he is now vastly different to the lithe and toned player he used to be.

Those medical sessions – which, in my opinion, were carried out because of gym obsession, rather than to improve his fit­ ness and, ultimately, his golf – have taken their toll and we do not know how Woods’ body will hold up following his comeback at the Congressional last week, as he missed the half­way cut(though he said he was encouraged by his return). For those injury reasons, golf cannot and not should pin all its hopes on him, and neither should the sponsors.

We need to get off the Tiger bandwagon and ensure that the players who will be at their peak when Woods’ career is

done and dusted, are well marketed and pushed to the fore­ front of people’s minds.

That is already happening to some extent. In my opinion, Bubba Watson’s win at the Masters and Martin Kaymer’s US Open demolition were not undermined by the fact Woods wasn’t playing, but we must sing the praises of the guys with Tiger­esque qualities, like Kaymer, Rory McIlroy and Adam Scott. Woods will always be a draw for casual sports watch­ ers, but golf has to move on. A more pertinent question might be:­ “Does golf need Tiger Woods?

Tiger certainly needs golf, as he still has lots he wants to achieve in the game – most notably moving past Jack Nicklaus’ Major collection of 18, a target that is looking more unreachable by the day – and so if he was told by a doctor tomorrow that his body is shot and he has no choice but to retire, I suspect he’d be devastated. If the truth were known if he would be shouting: “Don’t you do it… I got nowhere else to go!”.

It’s a bit like that with Tiger; his sole reason for being here is to play golf and play it well and I think he would be lost with­ out it. Tiger Woods claims he's made a quicker return to action than expected following his back surgery and is delighted to be playing again. Woods is not fun to talk to, he is not entertaining or engaging, and he has had spats with several people over the years, but you cannot deny he is tal­ ented, dedicated, and ruthless and loves golf.

He wouldn’t have battled back from being 50­odd in the world and reclaimed the No 1 ranking if he didn’t, though I would argue that adoring your chosen game is a prerequisite for any sportsperson. You need total immersion to be as good as you can possibly be and that drive and passion is even more important when things go south, as you can become disenfranchised and lose interest otherwise.

Tiger has not lost that determination or desire at all, but it will be intriguing to see how he fares over the rest of the 2014 season. He was playing poorly before his injury took hold so he won’t be coming back thinking he’ll suddenly be Mr. Wonderful, and his ambition is surely to play competitively and then have a real go in 2015. His chief no­no, meanwhile, should be to not trot around the world chasing the dollar and skipping World Golf Championship events in the process, as he did last autumn when he missed the HSBC Champions.

I thought the idea was that the best should want to play against the best!

LUCY’S THE FUTURE

A fortnight ago, the US Women’s Open brought us the 11­ year­old phenomenon, Lucy Li trying her hand at the task of tackling the Pinehurst course over the first two days, after becoming the youngest player to qualify for the event. She ended up carding a 78 on the Friday which is a great score for anyone let alone an 11­year­old to shoot at Pinehurst.

She has left an impression that’s for sure and she will now be watched and scouted more at her tournaments now that she introduced herself to the world. So the question remains. Is she the future of the sport? She’s definitely con­ fident in her abilities.

Only time will tell if the young golf prodigy will be the future of the game but her presence at Pinehurst has, in my opin­ ion, already made a huge impact. People may see her out there playing and playing well so they may want to let their kids try golf out and see how they like it and it’s hard not to get the golf bug. I for one wasn’t a golf fan growing up as

TITTER ON THE TEE An elderly golfer walks in to a brothel and tells the Madam he would like a really young girl for the night.

The Madam gives him a puzzled look and asks how old he is.

“I’m 98 years old” the man says “98!” the Madam exclaims. “Don’t you realise you’ve had it?”

“Oh,” he says, “How much do I owe you?”

when I was young and into my thirties, it seemed an elitist activity to me. So I think having her presence definitely has inspired adults and kids alike to try the sport out and this may lead to major growth in golf.

Not only did she play well for her age on golf’s toughest stage, she handled herself so well and is definitely a very intelligent young lady. It was quite amazing how she handled the media. She handled it better than most tour pros and that was awesome to see. Seeing a youngster out there will catch the eye of a diverse group of children because differ­ ent kids will look at things to get involved in and see if they like it or not because, when you’re young, you try different things.

So for these kids to see another kid out there at the Women’s U.S. Open playing well and playing alongside a legend like Dame Laura Davies is quite exciting for the growth of the game. She has a great swing, great personal­ ity, she’s very smart and she likes ice cream, what more do you want? Some may say that her “I’m the future of the game” statement was a little cocky but come on, she’s 11 years old! As smart as she is, imagine how mature she’ll be once she’s 15 or 16? It’ll be a good five or six years probably before we see her turn pro but let’s hope that nobody puts a ton of pressure on her like some did when Michelle Wie was a teenage prodigy. Just let the girl do her thing and she shall shine. She might like the attention though, either way she should enjoy her childhood before she goes pro.

Enjoy golf at the amateur level and enjoy being an 11, 12, and 13, year old kid. If you asked me today though, I’d say yes, she is the future of the game and I hope many other kids follow the same path, as then they’ll all be the future of the game. A long way to go Lucy.

KNOW YOUR RULES QUESTION A player's ball is believed to be in a bunker covered by leaves. The player probes for the ball with a club which touches the ground in the bunker. What is the ruling?

ANSWER There is no penalty. Rule 12­1 permits a player to touch or move loose impediments in a hazard in order to find a ball. A player is also permitted to touch the ground in the hazard while probing in the loose impediments with a club for the purpose of finding the ball. Such permission overrides any prohibitions in Rule 13­4. (Revised)

46

Friday, July 4, 2014

MIDFIELD BATTLES SPEEDY GONZALEZ SIGNS UP

Elche are reportedly preparing a bid for midfielder, Joan Verdu after the 31­year­old chose to opt out of his contract following the relegation of Real Betis last season. He’s now a free agent after activating a clause to leave the club if they went down, and Elche are said to be ready to make an offer for the former Espanyol captain to join them.

Meanwhile Granada have beaten Elche in the battle to secure the signing of central midfielder, Javi Márquez (pictured), spent last season with the Ilicitanos on loan from

Mallorca, who could not afford his wages.

During his loan spell at Elche, Márquez made 29 appearances in La Liga and scored two goals.

Elche are also reportedly interested in signing the 27 year old Polish international goalkeeper, Przemyslaw Tyton from PSV Eindhoven. He played six games for the Dutch side last season, and has 12 interna­ tional caps. He’s seen as providing cover for Elche’s first­choice keeper, Manu Herrera.

Elche’s line up of pre­season friendlies will kick off with a match against Eldense in Santa Pola on Saturday July 19th at the Manolo Maciá stadium. The Ilicitanos then go down the coast to San Pedro del Pinatar as

they take on Real Betis at the FC Pinatar arena on Tuesday July 22nd. The only match scheduled for Elche’s Martinez Valero stadi­ um will be against the Moroccan side, Raja Casablanca on Saturday August 9th.

PRE-SEASON ILICITANOS

EXTENDED FRAN

Elche manager Fran Escribá is set to get a two year contract extension at the club. Escribá got the team promoted to the Primera in 2013 and ensured they maintained their position amongst the elite of Spanish football, last season.

Newly appointed sporting director, Víctor Orta, who himself has a contract until 2017, is keen to tie Fran Escribá to the same length of deal, ensuring that the three­year plan Elche have in mind, is all neatly tied together. Club presi­ dent José Sepulcre has already sought and gained the full approval, of the administrative board of directors, with the club set to officially announce the decision, once final terms have been secured with Escribá himself.

Adrián González has been officially intro­ duced as an Elche player after signing a two­ year contract with the club. As reported in The Courier last week, the 26 year old mid­ fielder has joined from Rayo Vallecano, with Elche’s sporting director Victor Orta describ­ ing González as a player who “meets all the requirements of the new project”, and who will fit well into the 4­3­3 system employed

by manager Fran Escribá.

González said:­ “I chose to join Elche because I’m a realist and I know that the Spanish league is one of the best in the world. I like to play on the highest level, and I told my agent that I wanted to come here.”

He also revealed that he watched all of Elche’s matches last season because he likes the style of play of Fran Escribá’s side.

CRISTIAN GOING

After enjoying an impressive first season with Elche, defender Cristian Sapunaru will likely leave the club this summer due to his high salary terms. Romanian defender Sapunaru joined the Ilicitanos last year as the newly promoted club looked to extend their stay in the Primera, and successfully did so finishing by 16th.

Though Sapunaru enjoyed a promising first season with Elche, the club is now looking for a way to offload the 30­year­old old due to his high salary. According to Spanish daily paper Marca, Sapunaru is currently making over €1 million in wages, a price that Elche cannot afford to con­ tinue paying at this point. The Romanian has stated that he would love the chance to play for Rapid Bucharest again at some point in his career, after two sep­ arate stints at the club and they are now the leading candidates to sign the Elche defender.

QUITE A SPLASH

Club Natacion Torrevieja’s swimmers were far and wide in what was the busiest year in the calendar last weekend with four competitions being staged around Spain for the Masters, as well as in the Alevin, Infantil and Absoluto cate­ gories.

The Masters went to Jerez for the Spanish Summer Championships, which featured over 700 swimmers from 105 clubs in the three day meeting. The Torrevieja swimmers (pictured) came away with a haul of 12 medals, led by Beth Altabas who won gold in all five of her races in the 70+ age category! Amongst the other medallists, Vicki Connolly struck gold in the 45+age 400m freestyle and silver in the 1500m freestyle.

On Sunday, five younger members were battling it out in the City of Torrevieja Traversia. The 2250 metre sea swim began at the Los Locos beach with 350 swimmers taking part, as Club Natacion competitors came out victorious with a full set of trophies. Piroska Rideg came 1st in the Infantil category, with excellent placing’s in the other categories for the Torrevieja swimmers.

In Sedavia, Valencia, the Alevin team members (pictured) were involved in the Summer Regional Championships, with the 5 swimmers notching up some good times in the event

including a personal best for Vicky Pigneur in the 200m but­ terfly event. And in the regional time control event in Petrer, other Club Natacion members produced some creditable performances in the final control meeting of the season.

Friday, July 4, 2014

47

RULES - WHAT RULES?

HANDS, ELBOWS, TEETH – AND I THOUGHT IT WAS ‘FOOT’BALL… At last, it’s dawned on me – it took long enough! Why ‘we’ can never win the World Cup, and ‘they’ can. It’s very simple – they cheat and we don’t. Anyway, we’re useless at it, whereas they’re all experts, After all, they do it to each other all the time ­ and when we try it we are spotted, exposed, criticised and ridiculed ­ so we don’t do it. After all, it’s not British ­ it’s cheating, and that’s wrong – isn’t it?

You see if you’re brought up to win, apparently at ANY cost, as in countries like Uruguay and Argentina, to consis­ tently go down as if you’ve been shot or stabbed (don’t lie still though, continue to writhe and roll around in apparent agony), then you’re going to convince someone, sooner or later – maybe even the ref or the linesman – that it’s gen­ uine. The poor officials have a huge, ongoing job to sort out who is properly fouled and hurt – and they often get it wrong.

This play­acting has sadly spread, the feigning injury and diving acts go on all over the world every week ­ except in the UK, where we don’t like it or condone it (neither do our big brother allies over the pond, the Yanks). But here in Spain, and everywhere else ‘sur le continente’ it is practiced freely, even the mighty Germans are at it – and they’ve won World Cups since we have –and don’t mention Arjen Robben to me: he’s just got Holland through against Mexico, Dutch­diving for the winning penalty: even his old boss Jose Mourinho said so.

Think about the last time England won the World Cup. Erm…1966, wasn’t it, in England? A coincidence that we won? Of course not ­ that was the last World Cup played according to our own traditional Queensbury rules that we invented. Safely through the group stages, England drew Argentina in the quarter finals, who were regarded as spoil­ ers and employed dodgy tactics. England manager Alf Ramsey even branded the Argentinians ‘animals’. He got into a bit of bother over it but survived to tell and show the world. Just to prove it the Argentinian captain Rattin was rightly sent off, England won 1 – 0, and went on to the finals via Portugal and Eusebio. There we eventually beat Germany 4 – 2 and head prophicia Alf was duly knighted: QED (Queen Elizabeth Didit…).

Forward 20 years to the infamous 1986 finals in Mexico.

Under Bobby Robson, a good England side drew Argentina again in the quarter finals, this time facing the world’s great­ est footballer, but one little sh…yster Diego Maradona. At 5 ft 6 he somehow managed to out­jump our king­sized goal­ keeper Peter Shilton while seemingly chasing a lost cause,

but somehow appeared to flick the ball over Shilton with his head. Slow motion replays clearly show he used his hand ­ but this was Mexico City, not Wembley and the goal was given. The incident became forever referred to as the ‘Hand of God’. Well, that was manipulating Maradona’s laughing explanation later. QED – Quite Easily Deceived.

And so on to today… the England­Uruguay game a fortnight ago was another classic case in point. Their captain Godin handled the ball after five minutes and was rightly booked. Only min­ utes later he elbowed Daniel Sturridge in the throat. The ref apparently didn’t see it (nor the linesman), but did our man go down? No. Did he complain? No. Did the rest of the England team besiege the ref, brandish­ ing imaginary cards like most of the rest of the world do? No ­ actually, old boy, we don’t do that sort of thing ­ even if we’re in Brazil playing for our lives and country against one of the dirt­ iest nations of the world. And of course, if Godin had been sent off, he’d have been cor­

rectly banned and wouldn’t have played against Italy ­ and then he wouldn’t have scored the winner, would he? QED (Quaintly Easily Done).

And so to loopy Luis Suarez and his disciplinary record.

One of his ‘end justifies the means’ claims to fame came at the end of the 2010 World Cup match with Ghana. Suarez handled the ball on the line to stop it going in, was correctly sent off but Ghana missed the penalty and Uruguay went through. Throw in the diving, then the racist charges over the Patrice Evra affair, plus the two appalling biting incidents.

Conned again, ‘we’ had nearly got through an incident­free, even award­winning Liverpool season with the unpredictable Uruguayan, but then last week the whole world witnessed just what Suarez is capable of in astonishing extremes. The word ‘bipolar’ fits him well, capable of fantastic feats of foot­ ball one minute, then plunging back into the pits of disgust and depravity as he sank his teeth, yet again into an oppo­ nent’s shoulder.

Lo, and who now speaks with double­forked tongue?

What a surprise, he who helped write the cheaters manual, coming out of his drug­ridden shell to defend Suarez? Why, none other than the Crowned Prince of Darkness and Deception, the same Diego Maradona. Wearing a T­shirt proclaiming ‘Luis we are with you’, the mad moron said: “It hurts that they have cut short the career of a lad who is a winner. It's an excessive suspension, Fifa cannot talk about morals to anyone. Suarez didn't kill anyone. This is an unjust punishment, the act of an incredible mafia." No, he didn’t kill anyone, Primadona – he bit them, and has been banned for ONLY four months.

Cut short his career? The fact that Suarez will still be able to play football at all is testament to the weakness of the authorities. What Suarez did was disgusting and has no place in foot­ ball – anywhere ­ and yet it is the third time he’s done it, but this time in front of the world on the biggest stage of all. And of course soon, he’ll be free to do it all over again, probably this time for Barcelona – the Catalunians must be poco loco – or desperate.

So, it’s true you see – we are playing by a dif­ ferent set of rules – fair ones against cheating ones. No wonder we can’t win anything.

Sneijder barnstorming equaliser was a real sickener after all Mexico’s good work. Can’t stand Arjen Robben, and neither can he for long – he’s admitted that he’s changing sports soon, entering diving at the next Olympics. Poor old Mexico, they had the best goalkeeper in Ochoa, and in short­ass long­haired Herrera they had the most hilariously­manic coach.

When Dos Santos scored, his jefe looked like a dwarfed night club manager on speed! Hey, that’s an idea, they should have awards for managers, like best goal celebration, most anger displayed at adverse decisions: great fun!

The Costa Rica­ Greece game was another classic as the Grecians earned their equaliser in the last minute, but superb 100% penalty–taking finally saw the Costa Ricans deservedly through, though now they need to negotiate the nervy Netherlands. Nasty neighbours

France and Germany saw off Nigeria and plucky Algeria respectively to meet each other next (good… ), and just when we were settling for yet another pul­ sating penalty shoot­out, divine Messi­ah­cutely aimed an Angel through for Di Maria’s goal to finally saw off Switzerland to get to the last eight.

Right, then! Today, Friday there’s two quarter finals: early doors at the very civilised 6 pm Spanish time (I could get used to this) Brazil v Colombia kicks off, then news at ten trumpets France v Germany. Only go out on Saturday por la tarde unless they’ve a got a telly there, because its Holland v Costa Rica at six fol­ lowed by Argentina v Belgium at ten. That’ll then give us four teams, so the sizzling semis will be on Tuesday and Wednesday, both at 10 pm, and the Final is on Sunday 13th July at 9pm. Simply The Best ­ ever!

BEST WORLD CUP – EVER!

From back page

lad looks a bit odd, but he’s got nerves of steel ­ a real cool dude against Chile.

Colombia were great, that Rodriguez volley was worth the entrance price alone (what entrance price?). Oh, and there is a Samerican Deity somewhere up there ensuring that Uruguay were found out and got theirs: we all knew without you­know­who they’re pretty toothless. But hombre, did Columbia deserve their win, they’re a breath of fresh air this tournament ­ and their Strictly co­ordinated goal­celebrating Samba dance ensemble is brilliant, very Latin American.

Disappointing Dutch? LVG’s guys were strangely poor for much of the game and were losing to Mexico ­ even Reliant Robin van Persie was misfiring and eventually taken off. Right at the end that Wesley

Friday, July 4, 2014

48

BEST WORLD CUP – EVER! A GLUT OF GOLDEN GOALS, SUPER SAVES, EXTRA TIME EXCITEMENT, PULSATING PENALTY SHOOTOUTS – AND WE’RE ONLY HALF-WAY THROUGH…

John McGregor reports

‘It’s the best World Cup ever’ post­ ed pundit Alan Shearer, after the classic Belgium­USA game saw the unlucky Yanks sent home to meet Obama, but not until after the Americans had put a tremendous fight to narrowly lose 2 ­ 1. Sour Kraut German coach Jurgen Klinsmann quickly and sportingly got over it to congratulate Belgian boss Marc Wilmots, whose side went through largely due to Romelu Lukako’s superb substitu­

tion: Lucky made the first and scored the second.

What a match, Barack’s boys are unsung stars who earned their stripes; they just would not lie down, pulling one back and very nearly equalising several times in the closing nail­biting minutes.

Somewhat surprisingly, somehow all eight Group win­ ners went through to the quarter­finals ­ but there were no predictable aspects as the final results took many twists and turns. Two penalty shoot­outs, four­from­ eight white­hot extra­time games and a whole host of great goals and fantastic saves all make Alan’s assess­ ment amazingly accurate.

Innovations? In boiling hot Brazil we’ve even got ‘cool­

ing breaks’ now in some matches. I blame the Yankee influence, as they’ve always wanted to ‘Americanise’ our beautiful game. Holland v Mexico sweated through two FIFA permitted breaks. BTW, the match timings are great, very civilised ­ thanks lads!

I love penalty shoot­outs, don’t you? Especially when I’m not too fussed who wins, as long as they’re not one­sided. Jammy old Brazil eventually scraped through theirs; this team are just not that good, surely they won’t win it? All Hail to Cesar in the Brazil goal (QPR reserve, promote him Harry), and that Neymar

Continued on page 47