Week 173 by TKO Media

Edition 173

www.thecourier.es

Friday, June 13, 2014

BAD MEDICINE

Chemist chaos as stocks fall By ALEX TRELINSKI Pharmacies across the Costa Blanca are facing closure, as the Valencian Government owes them 80 million Euros, with the Valencia Pharmaceutical College claim ing that many are in danger of running out of prescription stock within the next fort night, leaving the prospect of millions of residents unable to get medication. It’s a repeat of the showdown in 2012 which led to 20 pharmacies closing down, and the College says that a further 20 this time around will be auctioned off if they do not get paid

for the prescriptions they have already supplied within the next week or two, and another 80 will go into receivership whilst 100 more will be on the verge of doing so. Indignant owners say it is extremely unfair that they will be forced out of business and they and their staff forced onto the dole queue when their financial night mares are 'not caused by poor man agement', but by the regional health authorities' failure to cough up what they owe. Health minister for the regional gov ernment the Generalitat Valenciana Manuel Llombart has pledged to pay a total of 40 million Euros to all chemists by midJuly, but this is less than half the amount owed. And most say they cannot wait that long, since time is

running out and they are already fac ing bankruptcy. Furthermore, Llombart says he 'cannot give an exact date' of payment, and many chemists in the words of the Valencia Pharmaceutical College – are up to their necks in water and drowning fast. Even with six weeks' worth of debts, pharmacies across the region will be unable to supply medication by the end of the month. And if the Generalitat does not pay up in midJuly as promised, stocks will have practically run out and some outlets will be closing their doors for good. A series of demonstra tions, shutdowns and strikes are in the pipeline as pharmacies have called meetings amongst themselves to agree drastic action to force the regional government's hand.

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Friday, June 13, 2014

Are you a snapper? Do you have a great photo? Send it to design@thecourier.es and if we think it is good enough we will publish it as our Picture of the Week TELEPHONE

EMAIL office@thecourier.es WEB www.thecourier.es HEAD OFFICE Calle Luis Canovas Martinez 1. Urb Aguas Nuevas, Torrevieja 03183, ALICANTE PHONE: 96 692 1003 Email: office@thecourier.es OPENING HOURS Mon Fri 1030 to 1730 EDITOR Alex Trelinski CONSULTANT EDITOR Donna Gee ADVERTISING SALES 966 921 003 office@thecourier.es TELESALES 966 921 003 679 096 309 Sally Los Alcazares, San Javier 618 391 491 Myra Quesada, Rojales, Torrevieja, San Miguel Tel. 618 583 765 Jean La Zenia, Playa Flamenca, Cabo Roig Tel. 618 898 034 Patrick International Rep 5 Languages Tel 685 901 265 Alan Tel 616 332 178 Writers Donna Gee Sally Bengtsson Jeanette Erath Alex Trelinski Dave Silver Tony Mayes John McGregor

Picture of the Week

96 692 1003 679 096 309

Helicopter fighting a fire in Rojales on Tuesday evening 3 June Photo by NICK BRISCHUK

FILL UP SCAM FULL STEAM AHEAD

A massive gang that sold “doctored” diesel at slashed prices to filling stations has been smashed by the Guardia Civil. At least nine different gangs operating in 11 of Spain's 17 autonomous regions, throughout 23 provinces, were said to be colluding with service stations with underthemattress dealing of fuel which had been tampered with before being sold to the public at just over half the price of 'genuine' diesel. Over

100 arrests were made with detentions in both the Murcia region as well as in Alicante Province. The service stations which sold the sec ondrate diesel did not pay tax on the pro ceeds, but the exact amount defrauded has not yet been fully calculated. Thousands of motorists are believed to have filled up with the knockoff diesel, which could potentially have damaged their cars.

WHAT THE ROMANS WILL DO FOR US

Affiliations

Torrevieja’s Plaza de la Constitución and Calle Caballero de Rodas is hosting a Roman market this weekend through to Sunday night. The event is said to feature over 120 stalls, as well as what is claimed to be the largest falconry display in Europe. There’s also going to be a recreation of a Roman camp featuring various shows and displays.

Publication Courier South Published by TKO Media and Entertainment S.L. Printed by Localprint S.L Depósito legal A 188 2014 The Courier, its publishers, members of staff and its agents do not accept responsibility for claims by advertisers nor can it be held responsible for any errors in advertisements which are reproduced from poor artwork, low qual ity electronic data or inadequate instruc tions for text or other layout features. Further no responsibility is accepted for any loss or damage caused by an error, inaccuracy or nonappearance of any advertisement, although all advertise ments produced are checked prior to insertion. We regret that we cannot accept responsibility for more than ONE incorrect insertion and that no republi cation will be granted in the case of typographical or minor changes which do not affect the value of the advertise ment. E&OE. NO PART OF THIS NEWSPAPER MAY BE REPRODUCED WITHOUT THE WRITTEN CONSENT OF THE PUBLISHERS.

Spain's MPs have over whelmingly approved the abdication of King Juan Carlos, paving the way for his son Prince Felipe to become the country's new head of state next week. After a long debate on Wednesday in which many of Spain's major politicians spoke about the role of the monarchy in Spanish socie ty, 299 people supported the abdication bill, with 19 voting against, and 23 abstaining. Radical leftists in the chamber had demanded a referendum on the future of the monarchy, as Madrid and other cities staged anti monarchy rallies after Juan Carlos announced on June 2nd that he was stepping down. He said he was abdi cating after nearly 40 years on the throne to make way for a "new generation". The bill will now have to be approved by the upper house of parliament, the Senate, which will vote this Tuesday, with the prince expected to be proclaimed King Felipe VI on Thursday June 19th. No representa

tives of other Royal families, nor any foreign heads of state, will attend the corona tion ceremony, which according to a Palace spokesman was down to having no space in the Parliament building for visit ing dignitaries. There will be no Mass after the ceremony either, though there will be a military parade, as Filipe will automatically become the leader of Spain’s armed forces under the country’s constitution.

WANTED – MORE HEADLINE NEWS! DO YOU have a story that might grab the headlines? What’s all the gossip about round your way? A spate of robberies, perhaps – or maybe you’ve spotted a celebrity in the neighbourhood. Whether your news involves fire, police, ambulance, accidents – or hap

pier events like family weddings (particularly Golden and Diamond ones!), Just phone the Courier office on 966 921 003 or email office@thecourier.es We’re waiting for your call…and next week’s Front Page story.

Friday Sunny High 29 Low 18° Chance of rain 0%

Saturday Sunny High 29° Low 18 ° Chance of rain 0%

Sunday Sunny High 26° Low 18° Chance of rain 0%

Media and Entertainment SL Monday Sunny High 24 Low 17° Chance of rain 0%

Tuesday Sunny High 25° Low 16° Chance of rain 0%

Wednesday Sunny High 26° Low 18° Chance of rain 0%

Thursday Sunny High 27° Low 19° Chance of rain 0%

Friday, June 13, 2014

AIRPORT BEST

974 thousand passengers used AlicanteElche airport in May, making it the best ever May in the airport’s history, with the last two months producing record highs. It was a 4.8% rise on the same month last year, with nearly half the trav ellers being British. The figures from airport operator AENA, also showed a 3.2% rise in the numbers using San Javier compared to a year ago, with 129 thousand people going through the terminal. Meanwhile the impass over the closure of San Javier and transfer to the new facilities at Corvera continues, with AENA digging its heels in over compensation over San Javier. They’ve made it clear to the European Union that they will refuse to close down the current opera tion unless they are full compensated, which is essentially a restatement of their longheld position. The European Commission is currently investigating the legality of the Murcian Government’s proposed loan to Aeromur who are slated to run the new airport at Corvera.

BUSY BEACHES

The number of bathers using the La Marina and Arenales del Sol beaches has led to the full lifeguard service being brought forward for the second successive year. The daily service, which runs between 11am and 8pm was due to start this Sunday but the Elche council has kickstarted the provi sion from DYA earlier, with it running through to mid September.

SAN FULGENCIO CUTS San Fulgencio council is the latest local administration to feel the pinch after falling padron numbers. Last week The Courier reported reduced state grants to Orihuela and Torrevieja and lower popula tion figures, on the back of big recorded falls in European residents. The same problem has hit San Fulgencio, with local Mayor, Carlos Ramirez (pictured) announcing an annual subsidy cut of 600 thousand Euros a year which accounts for around 8% per cent of their budget. The padron returns show that the San Fulgencio area which includes the Urb.La Marina have lost 25% of their popula tion, many of whom are British people who have left the country or failed to reregister.

POSTAL BLOW

Home postal deliveries to indi vidual properties in parts of the Orihuela Costa are set to disappear from the autumn. Notifications (pic tured) have been sent to residents saying that individ ual deliveries to detached homes in Campoamor, La Zenia, Cabo Roig, and La Regia will stop from September 1st, and that they will have to go to the Correos office in Playa Flamenca to pick up their mail. They will then have a fortnight to pick up their post or else it will be taken to a cen tral facility. People with communal mailbox facilities are not affected by the change.

MARKET RAID

Cops swooped on an illegal market outside Orihuela City in a three hour raid last Sunday morning which saw the local police and the National Police joining forces to arrest two stall holders and fine over 20 others who did not have the neces sary licenses. The clandestine market was being operated close to the CV970Benferri road by the turn for Montepinar with the sellers being mainly North African, who paid a nom inal sum to the landowner to hawk their goods. Many items were seized by the police, especially foodstuffs that were not labelled properly, along with electronic goods and clothing. A roadblock was also set up with goods being seized from vans and lorries.

MINE’S A BEER

The row over the beach bar con tract for the Orihuela Costa appears to be over, with cabins being erected in the area in time for the main tourist influx of the sum mer. The fran chise winner Chiringuitos del Sol, who won the original contract amidst controversy, has paid over half a million Euros of the debt it owed to the Orihuela council, with the remaining part of the debt which is said to be half a million Euros being paid back over a period of time. Rival bidders were deemed not to have passed a quality threshold but threatened legal action over the awarding of the franchise to Chiringuitos del Sol, who were the only company that passed the council’s quality benchmark.

SALT CALL TAPAS TIME TIT FOR TAT

Santa Pola’s Mayor has called for all of the saltproducing towns in the region to join forces with the Alicante Provincial Council to make a bid for World Heritage Site status. Speaking at the opening of an exhibition looking at salt in the area being staged at the Santa Pola Salt Museum, Miguel Zaragoza, said that the history of industry dates back to Roman times and it should be acknowledged at the highest level with the ultimate accolade from UNESCO.

GETTING READY

Guardamar’s beaches are getting a prehigh season spruce up with more shower facilities and water taps, espe cially in the Playa del Puerto area. Meanwhile the city’s Tourist Office has extended its opening hours through till mid October, with the doors open between 8.00am and 3.15pm, and from 5.00pm to 8.30pm on weekdays. The bureau dealt with 55 thousand inquiries last year.

Torrevieja’s La Mata area has got 24 bars and restaurants involved in its second Tapas Runs this and next weekend. Two Euros will buy you a snack and a drink, with the event running through till this Sunday, and then again between Thursday 19th and Sunday 22nd of June. Leaflets are avail able with the details of the businesses taking part, along with your chance to vote for your tastiest tapas.

A San Miguel man has reported the town’s Mayor to the Guardia Civil for an alleged assault, whilst the Mayor himself has rubbished the claim, and issued a restraining order against the complainant. Josefa Belmonte claims the Mayor, Ángel Sáez (pictured), assaulted him in a building at the end of May, with the altercation spilling into the street. The Mayor has countered with a different version of the events, and claimed to have a Guardia Civil officer as a witness to what did or did not happen.

Friday, June 13, 2014

RETURN TO SHARP EXIT VIVA PIRATA! LENDER Spain’s going to start repaying the 41 billion Euro bank res cue loan that it got from the European Union 3 years ago. In a sign of the improving economy, Mariano Rajoy’s govern ment announced that it will immediately repay 1.3 billion Euros of the loan to the EU.

NO RELIEF

Emergency chutes were used in a dramatic exit for 139 passengers on a Jet2 flight from AlicanteElche to Blackpool last week. “It was quite scary. The chutes came down but one of them would not open. In places there was nobody catching people at the bottom – people just slid off," said a shocked passenger. The drama happened after Blackpool Airport air traffic con trol spotted smoke coming from the brakes upon landing. Three fire crews raced to the plane after smoke was seen coming from the brakes, caused by a suspected hydraulic fluid leak last Friday( June 5th). The passengers initially remained on board the plane before being told to make an emergency exit down the chutes, with some of them suffering cuts, as they slid onto the runway. Meanwhile a Jet2 flight heading for San Javier from East Midlands Airport last Tuesday afternoon had to make an emergency landing in Paris. A spokesman said that the diver sion to Charles de Gaulle airport was due to a technical fault and that they made the unscheduled stopover as a precau tion, with the service continuing its onward journey to Murcia.

MARKET VETO

Valencia’s Supreme Court has upheld the guilty verdict and an 18 year jail sentence for the killer of Irmgard Elisabeth Fieres in a Pinar de Campoverde bar in June 2010. Karl Heinz Heim was convicted back in the autumn of killing his former girlfriend in the “La Corona” bar 4 years ago. His trial at Alicante Provincial court disclosed that he faked a robbery to cover up his actions, pretending that she had been assaulted by a burglar.

HARSH LESSON

A Spanish couple have been given a vital helping hand to look after their pets, after losing their jobs. The animal charity, Cruz Azul Murcia, stepped in to help them after meeting them at an event in Santiago de La Ribera. Having recently been made unemployed, they just get 400 Euros a month state aid, and have 3 dogs and a cat. One of their dogs is called Pirata and was found by the couple two and a half years ago, when he was just six months old. He was injured and had had both ears amputat ed. Pirata’s new owners took care of him, nursing him back to health, and he has been a faithful companion ever since. After the Cruz Azul volunteers met them, they decided to get Pirata’s vaccinations up to date at their San Javier clinic, as well as castrating and micro chipping him. Pirata is now at home recovering from his operation, with his new microchip and uptodate vaccinations. “Pirata’s owners are the first Spanish people that we have helped.” said Cruz Azul President, Lyn Baines, “and I hope that they are the first of many that we can help from the Spanish com munity, in addition to those that we are already helping from the foreign community.”

HOT ROD

Plans for a new biweekly market in Rojales are in tatters after opposition parties voted down the council idea for an outlet on Avenida Justo Quesada. The PP and the Independent Pader group said that the twice weekly market on Tuesday’s and Saturday’s would be detrimental to existing local businesses, including the main market on a Thursday. The businessman who was planning to start up the biweekly market is said to be considering legal action.

CHEAP IS GOOD

A car was burnt to a crisp on Saturday evening at Rocio del Mar in Torrevieja. The blaze had spread to a nearby tree, but was extinguished by firemen who attended the scene.

LEARN THE LINGO

A cruel dog owner who left his two animals inside a car, with one of them dying due to extreme heat, has been given a 10 month jail sentence. A Valencian court sent him down after his dogs were left in his car in Valencia City in May, with only one window open for ventilation by a few centimetres. The boxer dog died of suffocation, whilst the shih tzu man aged to survive and was taken into care. The owner was identified via the microchip in the dogs and was also given a 32 month distancing order from any dog. Because he had no previous record and the jail sentence is less than 2 years, his prison order will be replaced with a community work sen Lidl’s stores in Spain have been selling out of an antiage tence. ing face cream which is said by the country’s leading con sumer group to be the most effective on the market. According to the OCU, tests on 14 antiwrinkle moisturisers found that the majority did not do as they claimed and that the cheapest available were frequently better than topofthe range brands. Most of them do not work, the OCU states, but the one which does and produces the best results is Cien Crema de Día Q10, which is budget German supermarket chain Lidl's own brand. Víctor de Bobes Martínez, from Lidl Spain. says sales of the moisturiser have increased twentyfold and the chain is having to work around the clock to ensure stocks are replenished as soon as possible. Spanish chicken pox cases are rocketing now that phar macies are not allowed to sell vaccinations against the con dition over the counter, according to healthcare researchers. So far this year, 63,136 people – adults and children – have Alicante Council has launched a new bus service which been diagnosed with the itchy, uncomfortable skin complaint links between the high speed AVE train station and the city’s – nearly 9,000 or 16.5% per cent more than in the same peri od in 2013. The Trade Federation of Spanish Pharmacists bus station. The council says the quarterly hour number 6 (FEFE) says the almost epidemic wave of chicken pox has service is in response to complaints from areas like cropped up since April when the central government's min Torrevieja that not enough has been done to provide a istry of health decided to ban chemists from selling the vac decent shuttle service to take people from the rail station to their onward bus links. cine over the counter in a bid to save money.

A POX ON YOU ALL

Rojales area residents will be able to go online to learn Spanish this autumn as a new feature of the courses that are promoted by the Alicante Provincial Council. People who cannot get to the morning classes in Rojales this September, will be able to access an internet site, which will be tailored to the needs of each individual in terms of time and the level of language skills required. A council spokesman said that the move would mean they would be able to double the number of people learning Spanish. The courses are

free of charge to residents of the area, and the registration form can be downloaded via http://www.ciudadanosex tranjeros.es/formularios/es_ cursoonline2014.pdf with the closing date being July 6th.

CASTLE KEPT

NEW LINK

Guardamar Castle is having 18 thousand Euros spent on it in a cleanup with the money coming from the Ministry of Culture. The makeover includes cleaning the walls, and replacing the entrance in time for the main influx of summer tourists.

Friday, June 13, 2014

A LOAD OF RUBBISH

An Orihuela Costa woman wants people to get involved in a mass community clean up to improve the look of the area. Julie O'Neill, who works for Penny´s supermarket in the Playa Flamenca Commercial Centre, was so angry at the mess around the centre, that she decided to do something about it. "When you visit The Boulevard shopping centre everything looks good. Oh, there´s some building going on, but there´s a pride in how it all looks. But our centre has left a lot to be desired as there are parts that are a real eyesore and it´s such a shame, because

people are simply put off coming here. And that´s so wrong. You can´t run a successful business when it´s surrounded by tat," she said. Julie, 31, wants people to get stuck in and have a cleanup of all the rubbish and to bring back some pride in the neighbourhood. She points out that if a community looks pleasant and desirable then it improves property values, attracting customers and future residents alike. Julie would love to hear from potential volunteers on 672 806 648.

Toll charges on some of Spain’s motor ways are set to be slashed during offpeak hours in a desperate bid to increase usage. The Madrid government has committed itself to bailing out nine toll roads managed by franchise firms which have gone into receivership, writing off 50% of the losses as “bad debt “and paying back the remain

ing 2.2 billion Euros. The new publicsector tollroad company will take over the maintenance and manage ment of the Alicante ringroad, which opened at the beginning of 2008, and the stretch of the AP7 from Cartagena to Vera. No indication has been given over the off peak tariffs

“Straight from the vegetable patch” ('Directo del bancal') is the name of the new association created by a group of unem ployed men and women who aim to culti vate abandoned land and make a living from the produce. The initiative has the backing of Murcia town hall, who will offer technical support and advice, as well as let ting the group use rural land belonging to the municipality. Some farmers have even offered the use of the land they are not using. The president of the association,

Ginés Fernández, explains that the idea is aimed at those people who have been out of work the longest, who will be able to spend their time on the project, become active again, and receive some income from the sale of the fruit and vegetables they produce. This should enable some families to come out of the extreme poverty they are suffering, have some healthy food to eat and a minimum income. Murcia has very fertile lands, which historically fed the families in the region.

TOO LITTLE, TOO LATE?

VEGETABLE SOLIDARITY

Friday, June 13, 2014

editor@thecourier.es COURIER POSTBAG: YOUR VIEWS ON OUR NEWS

Please reach out and help our cause AS President of Reach Out/Extiende La Mano, I come cap in hand. Things are desperate for some of our families, two families in particular. Firstly, we have a widower with three children (he lost his wife last year). He has been evicted from his rented home and the family is now divided amongst some friends. Unfortunately he was so ashamed he never spoke to us until it was too late. The other is a single mother of three children. She lived with a man until she fell pregnant and he left her. She now has the Guardia Civil turning up on her doorstep with an eviction order. As much as we would like to, we cannot take on the burden of paying regular rent for cases like this. We are looking for sponsors who would be able to commit to a regular monthly payment of a certain

amount (€20, €40, €100, whatever you can afford) into a special account set aside for renting apartments in the name of Reach Out. Or do you have a place in Torrevieja you could let us have cheap? Are you a business able to help in any way?” Presently we have one single mother sponsored by a very kind couple to the tune of €200 which leaves us only with the bills. This young woman is now after much input from us turning her life around and her children are settled and happier then they have ever been. The charity is also currently looking to support a young homeless girl who has just discovered she is pregnant. She is 19, living on the streets and very frightened. Now for the good news. Just so you see it isn't all sad,

last week we were able to send two of our homeless people back to their respective countries. Arno didn't have a passport or the money to get one or go back to Germany. He needs an operation and was n't going to get it here in Spain. We sent him to the German Embassy to get an emer gency passport and then booked a flight to near where his sister lives. We hope that he soon will have his operation and be well and fit to find work once more so he can start over. Taras is from the Ukraine. Last year we sent him to a rehabilitation centre, where he has spent the last nine months. With all the trouble flaring up in his beloved home land, he was getting desperate to go and fight for the freedom of his country. Sending him back to a war zone did not fill us with glee but we could under stand his desire, especially after his brother was killed a few days before he was due to fly out. We were able to help him get a passport and send him home. His was a departure full of mixed emotions and our prayers are with him. KAROLINA LEONARD, President, Reach Out/Extiende La Mano

ON YER BIKES!

It’s time to get some wheel exercise

HOW many expats have unused bikes in their garages, sheds or spare rooms gathering dust day by day with their tyres slowly perishing from lack of use and care? No doubt the bikes were bought enthusiastically with the best of intentions. I have many friends here who have bikes. "Yep, sure, we've got bikes but we don't use them"! It's as though ownership in itself will somehow be benefi cial! Cycling here in the Costa Blanca South is a pleasure. There are plenty of relatively flat routes, including the ideal Cartagena canal that stretch es for dozens of kilometres without a hill to be climbed. If you have ready access to the canal, get your bike out and give it a try. You will find there are riders of all ages, shapes and sizes getting some exercise. Whether you ride two or 50 kilometres, the fact is you will be using your bike as was your original intention. The first thing you must do is dismiss all the excuses for not cycling. I haven’t got time! Oh yes you do. The tyres are flat. Pump them up! It hurts my backside! Grin and bear it, your bum will adapt to the shape of your saddle and it will abate once you are through the pain bar rier. The best thing is to get

Passports: It’s new, clear meltdown as backlog piles up

Ticket to ride: Les Wilton and his bike

padded cycle shorts. Start by going for just a short ride round the block. Then round the block twice. Avoid gradients to start with, just take it slow and steady, you will soon start feeling the fitness benefits and the pleas ure of riding around and will be pleased with yourself when you venture further. There are plenty of cycle paths, caminos (small country roads) and roads with very lit tle traffic to worry about. Spanish drivers are very respectful to cyclists and will give you a wide berth. Of course, not all drivers are

Spanish, particularly around here! I'm just back from a ride down the canal and then through the countryside with my wife’s Spanish teacher. The ride was delightful as well as healthy and social. It just made me think how many people there must be that have bikes but don't use them. You have the climate, the environment and the equip ment. No more excuses. Come on, get on your bikes. LES WILTON Las Ramblas Golf

FURTHER to your kind publication of kind enough to my open letter to Immigration and Security Minister James Brokenshire regarding the fiasco I have endured in applying to renew my Passport, on June 3 I again phoned the Passport Office to check on progress, only to be told my application was not on the system and that someone would contact me by email within 72 hours. On June 8, I received a stock email from their office stating "We will process the application as soon as we receive your reply". It included yet another declaration form for me to fill in. Needless to say I immedi ately did so, and returned it the same day. Since then, I have sent two further copies, making a total of seven signed declaration forms sent since March 13 and I have made an official complaint to which I can expect a reply within 72 hours! Since the Courier’s publication of my letter, two other free English newspapers here on the Costa Blanca have published articles advising people to allow six weeks for a renewal and eight weeks for a new application. I would suggest your readers total ly ignore these times in view of the fact that the UK media has picked

up on the fact that the UK Passport Office is on the verge of meltdown due to the backlog of applications and that people who have booked holidays may be disappointed. Anyone seeking to renew their Passport in the near future can phone the Passport office on 0044 300 222 0000. One of the options offered is that you are visiting the UK in the future. Press 2; this will allow you to make an appointment at your nearest Passport Office and renew your Passport in approxi mately two hours. As for my own situation, in March I booked flights and a car back to the UK for July after sending in my Passport application. This gave me almost five months to obtain it but due to the current situation I am seeking to obtain an Emergency Passport at an additional cost of £90 to complete this journey. MICHAEL R JOBBINS

Friday, June 13, 2014

PURPLE PAIN

Roy Hodgson: He’s No.1 but no winner

Bother at the Boulevard as Betty Boop misses her underground connection I WAS purple with rage. And blue language would have been quite appropriate, consider ing how browned off I was. To put it in black and white, I saw red. And so would you if you’d just spent almost 45 minutes under Zenia Boulevard searching for a car that had gone AWOL. The sad reality was that Betty Boop, my little Kia Picanto with the big BB transfer on her rear end, had been stolen. Or so I thought. She certainly wasn’t in Purple Zone D9, where Cheryl and I had left her in the colour coded subterranean wilderness that Americans call a parking lot. And in this case, ‘a lot’ is the opera tive word because Zenia’s under ground labyrinth seems to stretch to the outskirts of Malaga. Cheryl and I were both convinced we'd left Betty in zone D9 of the purple section. Three hours later, we arrived back at D9 via a different escalator after failing to locate our original point of entry. Cheryl was on her first visit to this part of Spain, and I’d offered to show her the jewel of the local shopping scene. So we had pointed Betty down the N332, negotiated the mandatory quartermile tailback at La Zenia round about, and eventually joined the ranks of purple parking people. Then it was up the escalator to shop till we dropped, which in my case was roughly 10 minutes. Then it was creak ing delight as I plonked my aching back into any seat, chair or bench where I could breathe in clean air.. Smokeaholics seemed to be rolling

up everywhere, perhaps bent on adding lung cancer to my already size able list of medical afflictions, Unlike them, Cheryl didn’t have money to burn, so she took the less expensive option and bought up half of Primark instead. Our spending done, we retraced our steps to the car park but lost our way in the maze of shops and people. Ironically, the escalator we did even tually take was ‘guarded’ by two dummy British soldiers in red Trooping of the Colour uniforms. They were about to be joined by a couple of real live dummies. ''It was D9 we parked in, wasn't it?'' I muttered as we trooped towards Betty Boop's purple patch. “Yes, I’m sure it was D9,'' echoed Cheryl. Simple, really. Only Betty wasn't in D9. The bizarre situation was rather amusing at first, but after 10 minutes of fruitless searching, I was beginning to pray for D9 intervention. Half an hour into the mission, we had checked every bay from D9 to D

Portuguese border and still no Betty. Reluctantly, I conceded she’d been stolen, complete with my mobile, which I had absentmindedly left in the glove compartment. ''You didn't leave your keys in the car as well, did you?'' said Cheryl. Oh hell, surely I hadn’t left them in the driver's door, offering any lowlife a simple opportunity to halfinch my ageing jalopy. I rummaged through my handbag and couldn’t locate the keys. Panic set in. How would I explain to the police that I'd offered the car keys to some passing villain as free swag? Thankfully, they eventually emerged from the depths of my bag. Key a sigh of relief! Perhaps I wasn't as complete a moron as I thought I was. Buoyed by the good news, we decided to make one final sweep of the area before trekking up to the security office on the second floor to report the theft. We’d exhausted all the Ds, so was it possible, I wondered, that Cheryl and I had BOTH got it wrong? That we weren't in the D zone at all? I wandered across to E9, F9, G9 and finally to H block. I don’t need to tell you who was waiting for us in H9. Betty denies that she moved bays, of course. But then she also reckons I’m suffering from Zeniaphobia, which is a belief that cars can talk to you as well as move themselves. How can you say that, Betty? I reck on you’re taking the metal mickey. And another thing. Your brain’s not fit for purpleous.

AND THE WINNER IS... AFTER last week’s Top 10 giggle at the expense of Scotland, Wales and Ireland, it’s England’s turn. The 10 euro prize for the best entry goes to Andrew Atkinson of Los Montesinos, whose hit parade is listed below, along with my own loopy lineup at the bottom. Got some orig inal titles yourself? Email them to donna@thecourier.es and I’ll publish the best ones.

ANDREW ATKINSON’S ENGLISH TOP 10 1: I'd Do Anything, But I Won't Do That (win the World Cup) - England manager Roy Hodgson 2: It's Now or Never - Prince Charles upon hearing the abdication of King Juan Carlos of Spain 3: I Hear You Knocking - PM David Cameron after UKIP leader Nigel Farage’s votes surge 4: Always Look On The Bright Side of Life - David Moyes, sacked Manchester United boss 5: If I Was a Rich Man - Sir Richard Branson, who has an estimated £3.5 billion 6: Spinning Around - George Groves after losing to Carl Froch for the WBA and IBF titles 7: The Only Way Is Up - Liberal Leader Nick Clegg after his party's Elections votes collapse 8: Love Me Tender - eight-months pregnant Katie Price after splitting with cheating ex Kieran Hayler 9: Money's Too Tight to Mention - claims that Qatar won the 2022 World Cup vote with £3m bribes 10: Hard to Say Goodbye - judge David Walliams’ farewell to Britain’s Got Talent after three years

DONNA’S ENGLISH TOP 10 1. Happy Krays Are Here Again - The Killers 2. By The Rivers Of Basildon - David Essex 3. That’s Why The Lady Is So Damp - Wet Wet Wet 4. Living Next Door to Palace - Buck Ingham 5. Mancs For the Memory - Simply Red and Oasis 6. Abba Drink On Me - Binge and Racket 7. You’ll Never Squawk Alone - The Liver Birds 8. The White Spliffs of Dover - Mary Warner 9. Shrewsbury Fields Forever - Pet Shrop Boys 10 Surrey With A Fringe on Top - Peter, Paul and Hairy DONNA’S COMMENT: Is this all the space my Top 10 gets? No wonder I’m called Grumpy. What was that? I do the layout for this page myself? Oh yes, I forgot. Another Top 10 next week

Friday, June 13, 2014

THE PARTY’S OVER

I WAS mildly flattered in my local the other evening when Daft Barry sidled over to me at the bar and whispered: 'Dave Silver, you are the only person here who can help me.' I allowed my pub pal to drag me into a quiet corner where I said to him: 'It's very nice of you to place your trust in me, Barry, but I'm probably the only person who can help you because I happen to be the ONLY person here.' 'No, no,' Daft Barry said. 'I'm in a bit of a pickle and your name has been men tioned as the guy to go to.' 'Before I tackle your prob lem,' I said, 'Considering that we are the only two people in the pub, how come you felt it necessary to creep over to me, whisper in my ear and then shlep me into a quiet corner? It makes no sense. I could have stayed at the bar. I was quite comfortable there.' Daft Barry looked around guardedly. 'Because there IS one other person here. Ol'

Red Eyes is at the bar and I don't want him to wake up and eavesdrop on our con versation.' 'But Ol' Red Eyes is NOT at the bar,' I argued. 'I think you've seen that film The Invisible Man too many times.' 'But Ol' Red Eyes IS at the bar,' counterargued Daft Barry. 'He happens to be stretched out on the floor. In fact, you were actually stand ing on him just a moment ago.' 'Blimey,' I said shocked. 'I was STANDING on Ol' Red Eyes? And there I was think ing that Dave the barman had installed a new thick car pet. I even kicked off my shoes so as not to get the fabric dirty.' Daft Barry tutted at my stu pidity and crept back to the bar to retrieve my footwear. There was a sinkplunger, suckingtype sound as he grabbed hold of Ol' Red Eyes' nose for leverage and eased one of my shoes from where it had wedged in the

old guy's wide open, sleepslob bery gob. Ol' Red Eyes awoke momentarily from his semicoma. 'Fetch me a drink! My mouth tastes like an old boot.' Which begged the question: Where WAS Dave the bar man and everyone else? Apart from we three Daft Barry, yours truly and the horizontal mentor of our pub group there was nobody on the premises. At which point, Daft Barry and I became aware of a commotion outside. We rushed into the street, making sure we didn't tread on Ol' Red Eyes, and surveyed the scene. All the regulars at our hostelry were gathered on the pavement with plastic (health and safety) glasses

clutched in their fists. They were singing Happy Birthday to a solitary figure standing shyly in the pub doorway. Smoke was spiralling up

around him but it wasn't ema nating from any burning birthday candles. No, the vapoury stuff swirling around the lone celebrant was the product of several simultane ously lit cigarettes held between the fingers on both hands of our favourite pub regular absentee Fag Ash Bill. I say absentee because although he frequented the pub every day, Bill preferred to puff continuously on his neverending supply of fags and thus was not allowed on the premises (health and safety again). Because Bill was barred from the inn, the party venue had to be switched to outside. 'Now hold on a second here!' I shouted above the noise. 'How come everyone's at this celebration and yet Daft Barry and I weren't invit ed?' 'And neither apparently was I,' came the muffled protesting tones of Ol' Red Eyes from his resting place on the floor inside the pub.

Dave the barman looked sheepish. 'Crowd control,' he mumbled. 'The police said only so many people could attend the pavement party. I made out a full list of our pun ters and it worked out that we'd exceeded by three the maximum number allowed to congregate outdoors. 'I decided that the three wettest blankets who might spoil the occasion had to be Dave Silver, Daft Barry and Ol' Red Eyes. Please don't be miffed at me. It's all about health and safety.' In a feeble attempt to restore some of my self esteem, I turned to Daft Barry. 'So what was it that made you seek me out for my advice in the pub just now?' Daft Barry replied: 'It was Dave the barman's idea. He said he was thinking of start ing a pub quiz team. I told him I was useless at general knowledge so he advised me to speak to you because you reckoned you knew every thing.'

Friday, June 13, 2014

BRAVE BETTY NEEDS YOUR HELP

Our work in helping animals in a bad state never stops around here in Spain, and we Sadly she was in one of in, and we only hope that we fleas, ticks, covered in dead is a registered charity, where rescued this gorgeous dog, Betty, from some the worst conditions that we managed to get to her in skin, bald patches, and we rehabilitate the most have ever seen a dog to be time. Betty was covered in sores. She had just given severely abused animals. stables last week. birth to another litter of pup pies, and her nails were so long that she could hardly walk, and she was also suf fering with Leishmania, caused by sand flies. We are confident that we can treat all of this, and we are praying that we can make the rest of Betty’s life full of peace and love. What really got to me is that I have never seen sadder eyes in my life, but hopefully we will be able to get them sparkling again. Rescuing and helping dogs like Betty is an expen sive business with all the medication and specialist help that she needs, and we do need donations desper ately to continue our work. www.thedogyouneed.com

Our charity registration num ber is 1157175. If you would be kind enough to donate anything to this special cause you can do by Paypal,

where the account details are peter@thedog youneed.com or to our Nat West charity account, where the sort code is 601603 and the account number is 73754900. Even one euro will help, so please, please, try and support us. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts, and of course we’ll let you know how Betty gets on.

PETS’ CORNER: CAN YOU TAKE IN A HOMELESS DOG OR CAT? MARTY was found in the middle of the road, only 8 weeks old, shivering with cold and fear. He is now 4 months of age, a small cross breed who is very lively and loves to play with his kennel mates. He has had all his vaccinations so is ready for adoption. Please call on 966710047 or email info@satanimalrescue.com

Max is a small breed mixed puppy he is a lovely bright very happy, loving little boy. You only have to show him something once and then he knows the routine. He is eight weeks old and ready to go to a home of his own. For more information about Max please ring the PEPA helpline on 650 304 746 or Email: p.e.p.a.ani malcharity@gmail.com

Marty Marina was found on La Max Marina beach covered in URGENT Have ticks and fleas and her paws You Seen This burnt from walking on hot Dog ? tiles, she's been to the vets This lovely little dog called and apart from her paws Brendan, was on trial with which are healing is in good new owners. On Friday 6th health and around 4 years June he escaped and is now old. Marina is a Papillion lost in the Balcones / Lago cross, weighs about 5 kilos Jardin Area. Torrevieja. He is and has a lovely, gentle natu a very friendly dog, please if re. Call: 645 469 253. you spot him ring 616655789 www.petsinspain.com

Marina

Brendan

Kennel Manager Required. Due to our current Kennel Managers having lost their jobs and consequently nee ding to return to England we are now able to once again offer this position. The duties will include caring for up to 20 dogs and cats on site and comes with free 3 bedroo med accommodation .A love of animals is vital . For fur ther information E.mail K9 on k9clubinfo@gmail.com or call 673751012 These puppies were rescued from a bin at 2 days old and were bottle raised. They are now 7 weeks old and urgently need homes. There are 4 boys expected to be up to 25kg when fully grown. They’ve had their first vaca tions and are free to a good home. Contact Carly call 603 211 410

April and 3 of her 7 week old kittens are looking for homes. All were abandoned on someone’s doorstep. And are now ready for re homing. Please contact K9 or PHONE 600 84 54 20 for more info www.k9club.es

Chip is a small breed mixed puppy he is a lovely bright very happy, loving little boy. You only have to show him something once and then he knows the routine. He is eight weeks old and ready to go to a home of his own. For more information about Chip please ring the PEPA helpli ne on 650 304 746 or Email: p.e.p.a.animalcharity@gmail .com

Chip Bella is a lovely 10 month old medium sized girl, she is currently in a foster home where she is very well beha ved, house trained and loves to go out for walks and meet all the other dogs. She is vaccinated and will make a lovely companion. Call: 645 469 253. www.petsins pain.com

Bella

Gorgeous galgo pups, boy on the left and girl on the right. Just two of our many puppies that need homes. Please call 619938955 or find us on facebook Paradise Kennels.

Friday, June 13, 2014

BRING ON THE BARD Whilst chatting to my daughter recently, I was taken back to my teenage days. We were talking, as we usually do, about how she was doing at school, and she told me about her science exams she has coming up and we reached a mutual agreement that neither of us are any good in that subject! I did though offer my help with English Language, since being a language teacher I guess it´s the least I can do! Then she asked about literature. I have always been a keen reader, studying plays at college for my drama course and I love becoming enthralled in the words on the page, being carried away by the ups and downs of what one person has written and imagining the lives of the characters, seeing them with my imagi nation. Of course words can only tell so much, as in the end the picture painted in your mind will vary from per son to person as what I see

when I read a book will be different to what the person next to me reading the same book will see. That is why I love books so much, since with cinema everything is there, though of course with great writing and acting you can become involved in the story. Imagination is limited as you are given the sight and sounds you need to understand what´s happen ing. With the written word there is more flexibility, the scene is set inside your own head and there is a greater requirement for concentra tion. Sadly I don´t get as much time to read fiction as I would like, as there are always lessons to plan or other things that get in the way, and my writing is becoming more important and taking the place of read ing. I find myself using my imagination to write my novel instead of relying on someone else´s to tell a piece of fiction, so I always relish the opportunity to spend some time on my pas

sion for the written word and my daughter has given me that excuse to indulge a little once again, this time for the Bard himself. I am a huge fan of Shakespeare but only

his history and tragedy plays, as I don´t understand his comedy, and tend to leave it alone! My favourite works by this maestro are Macbeth, Romeo and Juliet

and Othello (the three clas sic tragedies), but Laurence Olivier´s film portrayal of Richard III will always remain a firm favourite and showed me how a great actor can make a classic play work in celluloid. With that in mind, imagine my interest when my eldest girl started telling me about an assignment she has to complete that will go towards her final exams, which involves Othello:the Moor of Venice, and I told her I would help her with it. Of course I´m not going to write the whole assignment for her but anything I can do to help I will, from giving her ideas for how to write it, through to maybe finding a few quotes. I was so excited about this work that I started immedi ately, reminding myself of the plot lines, with the char acters indented in my mind as I remember a production of Othello that I saw at the Bristol Old Vic theatre when I was a student. All of Shakespeare´s plays are

complex but this is one with an underlying theme of love and hate, which are things we can all relate to, to a less er or higher degree and we can all be affected by jeal ousy, strong love and pro found hate, which makes Othello as relevant today as it was when it was written hundreds of years ago. Whilst searching for infor mation I fell in love once again with this dark tale and I am looking forward to delv ing deeper into the mind of the man who wrote it and of reminiscing about being eighteen once again and having my whole life ahead of me, but now I can do it safe in the knowledge that I don´t have to go through that part of my life again. I’m con tent I can happily think back to days gone by without the pressure of youth and do what I can to help my girl get the best mark possible to enable her to choose a career that she wants, rather than settle for something which she has to do.

Friday, June 13, 2014

ROW BAR NONE

There’s nothing more annoying than Brits who in Spain having a bar room moan about local councils, and then discovering that they don’t even bother to vote, despite being on the padron and being regis tered to cast a ballot every four years. With the local elections less than a year away, now is the time to make sure that everything is in order and

that you are in a position to exercise your rights over issues that directly affect you. I say all this because over the last few weeks, I‘ve been hearing tales of local bars being visited on the behest of councils telling them to stop live entertain ment at a certain time or face the consequences. Many such instances have been in key tourist areas, and we all now how difficult

it is to keep a bar in busi ness these days compared to the boom time of a decade ago. The actions of some councils have bordered on the cowardly, using the fig leaf of some directive from the Valencian Government, which by using that lame excuse would mean there would be virtually nothing in Benidorm! It’s interesting that we barely hear anything

about this problem in the Murcia region (unless you want to let us know!). Whether you like it or not, the law is the law, even if it has not been enforced, but some of the local police vis its have bordered on trying to raid some kind of Chicago Speakeasy from the twen ties! Would not a gentle friendly visit over the winter months to point out the rules been a better way of doing things, rather than raids halfway during some drunk trying to murder Tom Jones’ Delilah on a karaoke machine? In balancing all this, you do have to remember that there are different forms of licences, which mean that a bar is not automatically allowed live entertainment after a certain time, whilst pub licences are far more flexible, with longer opening hours and live music thrown into the bargain. The needs of local residents also have

to be considered, so a cer tain degree of balance and compromise is needed. Perhaps it is just a coinci dence, but a number of councils that are “blaming Valencia”, just happen to be run by political parties of a different colour to the regional administration. I would not dare to suggest that something smells, but when the Mayors and coun cillors crawl out of hiding next spring to actually pre tend to show some concern for you, then why don’t you ask them why they were not prepared to boost tourism and business in your area at a time when it was so

urgently needed? Corruption is still sadly part of the Spanish psyche in some local councils, but I have a solution that would at least freshen up the mix. Too many Mayors hold court over an area for too many years, and that leads to stal eness at best, and corrup tion at worst. Why not make some constitutional changes that will only allow you two terms as Mayor (maximum of 8 years), which in effect means that you only have one further shot at the top of the party list ballot when you stand for reelection. Or is that just too obvious?

REGISTERING YOUR VEHICLE IN SPAIN. SPANISH LICENSE PLATES AND REGISTRATION DOCUMENT. Registering a nonSpanish vehicle in Spain is a complex and potentially costly procedure. However, you may be exempt from Spanish registration tax by getting Spanish number plates within one month of entering the country. But to do this, you need to become a res ident. Linea Directa has been insuring expat drivers in Spain for over a decade and under stands all the steps involved. Below we outline this process.

STEP 1: OBTAINING A CERTIFICATE OF CONFORMITY This is a statement by the car’s manufacturer that it conforms to EU regulations. You will need the car’s chassis number to complete this straightforward process online at www.eurococ.eu/en/certificate_of_conformity. The charges for this service will vary according to type of vehicle, make and country of 1st registration.

STEP 2: CURRENT LOG BOOK The vehicle’s original log book showing your name as the owner, the vehicles age and a valid UK address. You will also need the bill of sale for the car.

STEP 3: RESIDENCY IN SPAIN The Spanish residency certificate (Certificado de Empadronamiento) is your official proof of residency in Spain. Your local town hall can provide you with this document. You will need to take your passport and proof of Spanish address (rental contract, contract to pur chase or property deeds).

STEP 4: OBTAINING A SPANISH MOT CERTIFICATE All vehicles over 4 years old must be roadworthy and clearly display a valid ITV sticker. The ITV (Vehicle Technical Inspection) must be tested at an authorised centre, just as for an MOT test. You can find out the location of your nearest ITV centre on DGT website (equivalent to the DVLA). You can also call your local centre to make a booking. If the cen tre is busy, especially presummer, this can save a lot of time. The cost can vary but gen erally is around 40€ for petrolengine cars and 56€ for dieselengine cars.

Step 5: OBTAINING A SPANISH EQUIVALENT OF A TAX DISC The Spanish Tax Agency can provide your vehicle with a valid “tax disc” for Spain, which must be carried in the car when in use. You will need to complete the relevant form online and pay the amount according to your car’s tax band. You can carry out all these procedures yourself or you can seek the assistance of an accountant to do this for you. We hope the information provided in this article is of interest. If you would like to contact Linea Directa please call 902 123 104 More information on Linea Directa online at www.lineadirecta.com

Friday, June 13, 2014

STAND ASIDE, MA’ AM! SPAIN´S King Juan Carlos has put the cat amongst the pigeons in the UK, by revealing the reason he has decided to abdicate was that: "I do not want my son to whither, waiting like Prince Charles". Good for him. He is aged 76, and he had the foresight to understand that as he has grown older he cannot give as much to his country as his son can. The Queen has given more years of service to Britain than any other monarch, but at the age she is now is she still just as capable? Of course not. Her son, Prince Charles, has been waiting for 62 years and four months, longer than any other heir apparent in British history to take the throne, having broken the record set by his greatgreat grandfather, Edward VII, in April 2011. Is the Queen being selfish by clinging on to her throne? I suggest she is. It´s time to do as the Spanish king has done. Perhaps there should be a retiring age for monarchs. Or is the real reason for her reluctance to hand the throne over that she cannot bear to see her "new" daughterinlaw become queen? A FORTNIGHT ago the European Commission said the UK should raise taxes on higher value proper ties, build more houses and adjust the Help to Buy scheme. Last week it was the turn of the International Monetary Fund and its head, Christine Lagarde, to tell Britain it should relax plan ning laws to build more hous es on green field sites, impose VAT on food and raise interest rates to protect the recovery. If there´s one thing that the British hate is being told what to do espe cially when they are being told by others who are mak ing an absolute mess of their

own backyards. The Coalition government came into power with Britain hav ing been left in the most awful financial mess imagi nable thanks to Labour being incapable of manag ing the economy and spend ing every penny of people´s money they could get their hands on even raiding our gold reserves to line the pockets of people living on benefits. They also failed to properly regulate the banks and let them have a crazy spending spree too. Since then, the Coalition have turned the economy round on every level, so that unemployment is one of the lowest in Europe, interest rates have been held at low est possible levels for years, inflation has been brought under control and people´s real standard of living has started to rise again. Also those owning houses have seen their nest eggs soar in value as the property market boomed. Not bad in just four years. And what about Europe? Much of it has unemployment over 20%, struggling with a euro which is still far from healthy, and facing inflation turning into deflation which would be an absolute disaster for anyone trying to sell anything. So, mind your own business Europe and the rest of the

world Britain doesn´t need you to tell us what to do. If anything, we should be telling you. And it certainly doesn´t want you telling us to build all over our green fields and pay even more VAT on food. It´s just these sorts of pontifications from Europe which will turn even more Brits to back UKIP who would quickly tell the med dling interferers where they can go. There´s one thing I would agree on though, and that´s a major reform on the tax on housing (council tax). This is a grossly unfair tax because its structure means that a multimillionaire in a man sion pays very little more than someone in a terrace or semi. The Tories set up the council tax banding system, and I´ve always argued there should be many more bands, so that people who have big houses pay much more than they do. And that would mean people at the lowest bands would pay less than they do now. They will scream blue murder, of course, but it might per suade people who live in homes far too big for them to downsize. The Socialist left keep banging on about there not being enough housing to meet British needs, but there are still far too many properties in the UK being

left empty for one reason or another and these should be brought back into use before we destroy more and more countryside. There is an alternative to the council tax of course, and that´s a poll tax, which was so despised. But if a fair poll tax could be devised, based on people´s ability to pay, it would be a far better way of funding local services than a tax on houses, which bears no relation to whether someone can afford it or not. JUST how much of a threat some immigrants pose to the safety of people in Britain is highlighted with the news that an entire trial of two people accused of terrorism is to be held in secret. Britain has been proud of the old saying that justice not only has to be done, it has to be seen to be done, and for a court to con vene in secret shows just how sad Britain has become because it has opened its doors to all the very worst elements from the rest of the world. Thank you so much politicians and dogooders! Both men are accused of possessing terrorist docu ments, including a file named ‘bomb making’ held on a memory stick. One faces a fourth charge under immigration laws of improp erly obtaining a British pass

port. The chairman of the Commons home affairs committee Keith Vaz said the 'serious and worrying' move set a 'very dangerous precedent'. Senior prosecu tors claim the trial may not go ahead if it has to be held in public, but they have refused to disclose publicly the need for total secrecy. I believe the overriding rule must be to secure the con viction of people who are a curse to civilised societies, and if secrecy is necessary to achieve that, then so be it. But there must be safe guards and as many facts as possible should be made public if only to demon strate that there are people alive, well and free in Britain, prepared to kill and maim to achieve their sick aims. A GOOD night´s sleep is essential to maintain good health. That has been known for years and it´s well documented how bad it is if we are regularly deprived of sleep. We´ve been warned about too much light from electronic devices before bedtime, not enough time in bed (asleep!), excessive caf feine, noisy neighbours, cats, dogs, etc., etc. Now there's another potential worry too much light in the bedroom. A study of 113,000 women suggests that it could cause obesity in humans. The work by Oxford University researchers for the Institute of Cancer Research found that women had larger waistlines if their bedroom was "light enough to see across". Wow! There´s a first. I thought it was all about overeating and drink ing, and a lack of exercise! But let´s look about all the nighttime light here in the Costa. As soon as there´s a hint of evening tide on our community, on go the lights.

What an absolute waste of money. It´s all because of security, of course. Expats are paranoid about thieves and burglars when, in reality you´re probably more likely to be robbed or have your home broken into in the UK than here. A massive indus try has evolved preying on people´s fears about crime here in the Costa. Look at all the millions of euros which have gone into security devices, grilles, and, of course, all the wasted elec tricity with millions of commu nity street lights on all night. On a community I used to live in there was a nighttime security man employed each and every night. In one year he deterred one burglar. Well there´s costeffectiveness. The answer must be just the same as in the UK just remember to lock up every night. Then turn the street lights out at midnight and we might all get a better night´s sleep and women might be a whole lot slimmer and not have to spend a fortune going to slimming clubs.

DID you know that the UK has launched its first lefthand driving school, to teach motorists how to drive on the Continent. More than a quarter of Brits are afraid to drive abroad and these are the top five reasons: 1. Not recognising road signs 2. Getting lost 3. Going around round abouts 4. Trying to navigate 5. Driving on the other side of road The first school is in Brixton, London and I hope it catches on in other parts of the UK, because judging from some British holiday makers ‘driving standards here on the Costa, they sore ly need some lessons. When I was in my 20s, I was petri fied of the prospect of driving on holiday and it spoiled our annual vacations because we were left to either spend days getting burned on the beach or going on expensive coach excursions. I took the plunge in my 30s and then realised how stupid I had been, so much so that I was soon driving through Paris without batting an eyelid. It seems that the number one fear among Brits is not recognising road signs. That being so, I wish the EU would get to grips with this and introduce traffic rules which apply throughout Europe. I´ve said it many times before and it would make driving so much less stressful and dras tically cut down the accident rate too.

Friday, June 13, 2014

SAY IT IN SPANISH Learn the lingo - with a little help from JEANETTE ERATH Spanish 126 Recently we´ve been looking back at some past lessons to revise and refresh our knowledge, it´s easy to forget things we´ve spent years learning, especially if when we learnt it was a bit halfhearted and we didn´t really pay the attention we should have, I feel some things are worth repeating and will pop up again and again in my articles, sorry if you have taken on board what I´ve said and bear with me, but there are many that just forget or think they haven´t got time. I learnt Spanish whilst working in an ´English´ area, holding down a full time job and looking after a young child, there

aren´t many excuses you can give me as to why you can´t find time to learn Spanish, and I know, by reading this column that you´re taking a step into Spanish, I just hope that it´s not something you only do on a Friday when The Courier comes out and then it´s forgotten for another week. Spanish is something that can be incorporated into your daily life, whilst sitting in the sun just start thinking in Spanish, whatever thoughts run into your mind make the conscious effort to translate them, that way you will begin to get your mind around the Spanish vocabulary and grammar and taking big ger and more confident steps to speaking the language. I´m sure you are all aware that this week the world cup has

started in Brazil and millions around the world will be glued to their favourite teams, and the Spanish will be hoping their team can once again lift the trophy. So, this week we are talking football, I´ll be sharing with you some useful phrases to learn if you happen to watch the games on Spanish tele or just want to integrate more and have a footie chat with the locals. The Spanish football team is called ´la roja´ so if you hear that phrase then you know who they are talking about. So some phrases you will hear are: ´¡vamos la roja!´, ´¡vamos España!´, ´¡arriba la roja!´ and ´¡arriba España!´ this trans lates as ćome on Spain!´ The world cup is ´la copa mundial´Some useful words relating to football, are: football pitch – campo (de fútbol), football stadium – estadio de fútbol, players – los jugadores, football match – partido de fútbol, the Spanish word for fans is aficionados but you will also hear the word ´fans´ although this does tend to be more for music or film fans. Teams are équipos´ and the groups are ´los grupos´ As we progress through the competition you will hear the fol lowing: quarter finals – los cuartos de final, the semifinal is spelt the same ´semi final´ however remember your pronun ciation, the í´ is pronounced é´ so you say semee feenal, and the final is el final, I´m sure you all know the word for ´goal´ but remember the Spanish love to appreciate their teams and you will hear the word ´gol´ shouted each time Spain scores, however it will sound more like ´goooooooooooooooooooooooooooool!´ I hope you all get into the spirit of the world cup and enjoy watching the matches with friends, enjoying the peaceful ways of the Spanish as they appreciate their sport. Try and watch with the Spanish although with the times of some of the games I know it´ll be difficult to watch in bars, but there will always be a few games where you can have fun in com pany and just enjoy a spectacular competition. ¡Que tengas una Buena semana! Y ¡Vamos Inglaterra! (y España!)

Friday, June 13, 2014

WHY AM I GETTING TIRED?

I am always tired, and my doctor says it’s Q the weather or it’s in my mind, but over the years it has been getting worse. What can I do? From my experience carryingout full body diagnostic scans, the commonest reason for tiredness is high levels of toxins or contaminants in tissues and organs. And as a rule, the heavier the contamination, the more severe the tiredness felt. These toxins are all around us, in the air we breathe, the water we drink and especially the foods that we eat, which are heavily contaminated with heavy metals such as mercury and alumini um, insecticides, pesticides and herbicides. Normally, the liver converts these toxic chemicals into harmless compounds and stores them, but after a while it becomes overloaded, and our fat cells take over the function of storing these toxins. And when our fat cells can no longer contain these toxins, they start seeping into organs such as the brain, heart, bones, intestines, thyroid and kidneys. This contamination is the leading cause of inflammation, and the main cause of tiredness. In the thyroid gland for example, toxins disrupts the production of thyroxin, a hormone that regu lates the metabolic processes required for pro ducing energy. In the absence of thyroxin or when levels are low, our metabolic rate falls, less energy is produced, and we feel tired. The higher centres in the brain that also regulate the activities of the thyroid gland as well as other endocrine glands are not spared from contamination. When these higher centres such as the pituitary gland becomes overwhelmed with toxins, they are no longer able to produce the proteins or peptides required to regulate the activities of the hormonal system, and this dysfunction can manifest as tiredness among other problems. Tiredness can also result from a weakness of the heart and

blood vessels that make up the cardiovascular system. Most people are aware of the common disorders of the cardiovascular system such as high blood pressure and heart attack, but these health problems are now known to be caused mostly by a nutritional deficiency. To function prop erly, the heart needs special nutrients such as AcetylLCarnitine and Coenzyme Q10. Every single cell in the body especially actively function ing cells such as the brain, heart and kidney requires CoQ10 for the production of energy. However the problem we are faced with is that as we age, our bodies make less and less of these essential nutrients. When the level of CoQ10 in the body is low, the heart will work less efficiently, and this will lead to a feeling of tiredness. Another common cause of tiredness is anaemia caused by the lack of iron or vitamin B12 deficiency. Iron is necessary to form haemoglobin – the pigment that gives blood its red colour, and plays the role of transporting oxygen to where it is needed. When iron or vitamin B12 is in short supply in the body, less haemoglobin is produced, and less oxygen can get to the tissues, causing less work to be done by organs such as the heart, eventual ly causing tiredness. Nutritional deficiencies cause tiredness, and are quite common not because people do not consume enough nutri ents, but because nutrients are not properly assimilated by the body. A number of medications are known to cause tiredness, and people who take more than a couple feel constantly tired. Medications for hypertension or high blood pres sure are especially notorious for causing tired ness. My advice to you is to have a proper check up with your doctor to look at all aspects of your health, including your medications if you are tak ing any. In the absence of a thorough health check, you will do well to consider a detox with

Pectasol You can’t go wrong with a detox because we are all contaminated, albeit to varying degrees. And in my experience most people who have had a detox enjoy an improvement in energy levels. Pectasol is the only detox agent that can be taken by mouth (it’s a powder) that has been proven sci entifically to work. You can order Pectasol from Douglas Laboratories from MedB Health Shop for 83.98 Euros (112g), Call 965071745. Delivery is free. I have suffered from constipation for a number of years now, and my doctor gives me laxatives, but I feel worse when I take them sometimes. What can I do? Constipation is a common health problem and has a variety of causes and unsurprising ly, certain foods are known to worsen constipa tion. Many people are unaware that grains are poor quality foods. Grains especially wheat are lacking in essential nutrients, and in ancient times they were used as emergency food supplies. If you have a history of constipation or any type of abdominal discomfort, you are most likely show ing intolerance to wheat, and should stop eating foods that contain wheat. The advice is not to cut back, but to completely stop eating wheat contain ing foods. This will include foods such as bread, cakes, pasta, fish in batter, pastries, as well as many processed foods. A very common problem I find from the diagnostic scans of patients with constipation is a condition known as ‘Dyskinesia’ which can occur in the colon (Large intestines) or the small intestines. Dyskinesia occurs when the peristaltic movement of the intestines becomes slow. We are able to pass motion because the length of the intestines is in a continuous wave like movement called peristalsis, and it is this action that is responsible for the movement of food from the time it is swallowed and moves

across 25 feet of intestines until it exits the body. However this movement is affected by a number of factors. When toxins become stored in the walls of the intestines, as is a common occurrence in many people, this affects the peristaltic action of the intestines, leading to constipation. Wheat causes constipation and other digestive problems because it contains many toxins such as Glutenin, Alpha Gliadin and Wheat Germ Agglutinin, and these toxins have been shown to destabilise the functions of the intestines. The Post 1970 wheat that is now sold all over the world is completely dif ferent from the older strains of wheat because it has a much higher concentration of the toxins associated with wheat. The most effective treat ment for constipation is Magnesium, which is preferably taken as Magnesium malate or lactate tablets. Most people suffer from constipation because they are deficient in magnesium. Magnesium improves the peristaltic action of the intestines, relaxes the intestines, and also helps absorb water back into hard stools to soften them. Recently I saw someone who had been constipat ed for 2 weeks despite being admitted on 3 differ ent occasions at the local hospital. The hospital tried all they could to no avail, and sent him home to continue trying on his own! He called me out of desperation, and I prescribed high dose magne sium. (Please do not try this with poor quality sup plements from the pharmacies). Within a few hours, he was able to go and has continued to go since then. Magnesium Malate from Douglas lab oratories is available from MedB Health Shop for 26.25 (90 tablets). Call 965071745. Delivery is free. PLEASE EMAIL YOUR QUESTIONS TO contact@medb.es OR WRITE TO THE EDITOR

Friday, June 13, 2014

NO MORE RUN IN THE SUN Imagine sitting in the hot Spanish sun with your face beau tifully madeup but free from the fear of melting streaks of colour running down your cheeks. Or just think of jumping in a pool without a moment’s worry that your waterproof eyelin er will turn out not to be. Better still, envisage waking up look ing just as good as when you went to bed. This freedom to look good ALWAYS is just what advanced semipermanent makeup specialist June Hutchinson gives her clients. June, has worked in the beauty industry for many years, and trained in the art of semipermanent makeup with world acknowledged experts Finishing Touches. With semipermanent makeup, June can define eye brows, draw in eyeliner and put subtle definition back into lips. June also offers medical tattooing and nonlaser tattoo removal.

THE COUNTRY HOUSE WITH MORE Make the place of your dreams a reality by purchasing a country home from EVA VERONIKA. She’s got country prop erties along the Costa Blanca and Costa Cálida and has been in business here since 1996. So, whether you are looking for a luxury villa; a derelict finca; a building plot; or a cosy country retreat, then together with EVA VERONIKA you will find your dream property! Her 35 years’ experience living in Spain along with her deep knowledge of Spanish country homes, together with her professionalism at a fair price, coupled with priceless cus tomer care, means that she is the property adviser to go to! EVA VERONIKA will guide you through every stage of buy ing that dream house, and will help you with everything be it getting an NIE number or buying furniture. Give EVA VERONIKA a call at her office on 966 180 004 or her mobile 669 621 173. Her Email is info@spainfincas.info, and you can find the website at: www.spainfincas.info

SARAH HAS IT ALL COVERED

You name it, and Sarahs’ Curtain and Bedding Store at the Los Dolses Commercial Centre has got it with a fantastic stock of products, as new ranges arrive every week at this unique and friendly family run shop that gives you the choice that you want! After a busy year, the team are fully geared up for the summer season, and the recent addition of an extensive range of fabrics means you now have a choice of either quality readymade or bespoke made to measure textiles. Anything can be made just for you like cushion covers, curtains, bedspreads, or loose covers to name but a few. Even sheets to fit those awkward sized beds! The team at Sarahs' shop can also refurbish your outdoor seat ing, swing chairs and pergolas and can replace or repair toldos/awnings at unbeatable prices using the best quality fabrics and foam. Look out for new ranges coming soon like bedding, curtains and even pillows designed to keep you cool during those sweltering Summer nights! Sarahs' Curtain & Bedding Store can be found conveniently located within the Los Dolses Commercial Centre, Urb Villamartin, facing the road next to the card shop near the canal..

SWITCH ON TO THE ELECTRICAL SHOP

The team of staff working at the Electrical Shop in Blue Lagoon and Quesada may not be related, but they try to bring that old style family business service to their shops which is appreciated by their customers. The Electrical Shop is your local independent electrical store and it’s part of Europe’s biggest buying group Euronics, which means they sell top brands at competitive prices. Debbie is based in the Blue Lagoon shop whilst Tracey looks after things in Quesada, and they both pride themselves as being friendly, help ful & knowing what they talk about. They know the brands that you want and they give the service you deserve, with a great back up from The Electrical Shop delivery & installation team, who will hap pily help you if you have problems with an item that you may have bought elsewhere! With this team you are not just a number, you do have a name. Debbie and Tracey like to think that people come into their shops as a customer but leave as a friend, and that’s something that you won’t find at your typical electrical retail outlet. With that attitude, you can understand why The Electrical Shop does so well!

TOP SLUMBER WITH SWEET DREAMS For the perfect night’s sleep, get the mattress that suits you at Sweet Dreams! You spend a third of your life in the land of nod, so making the right choice is crucial, and Sue is there to give you the right kind of advice. She’s been with Sweet Dreams for 8 years, and has all the answers to those all important questions. If you are renting your property and need some new mattresses, then come in and talk to Sue as she has mat tress starting from 100 Euros for a 135 x 190 size and 80 Euros for a 90 x 190 mattress, with all the prices including delivery Sweet Dreams is your friendly bed and mattress shop, which sells all types of beds including electric, lift up stor age. Also available are Memory Foam mattresses and Toppers, in addition to pillows and duvets

Friday, June 13, 2014

TIMELESS STYLE AND SERVICE Timeless Fashions has been in Punta Marina, Punta Prima for 7 years, and the owner Joy and her team have seen many changes, especially with more competition in the Spanish retail market. Timeless Fashions strive to bring their cus tomers quality, style and value sourced directly from the UK which has the best High Street selection in the world. They crucially take great pride in their customer service helping people to obtain the exact clothes that they want. The styles vary from Small to Plus and they are always new items arriving into the shop, with colour just as important as style. You can be assured of a warm welcome with many repeat customers enjoying a friendly shopping experience. Joy’s team at Timeless Fashions features Lynne, Katherine, Jane and Sharon, who are all ready to meet you and help you with your fashion needs.

ZAP THAT FAT!

Why don’t you sit back, relax, and let Laser Lipo Treatments get rid of that fat in your stubborn areas by literally melting it away? It’s the latest addition to Lynda and Lauren Gibson’s Cambridge 800 business that has got everybody talking. The sessions are comfortable, noninvasive and according to the clients, they are actually quite relaxing. It’s a great kickstart to los ing weight but Lynda and Lauren are very keen to point out that there is no quick fix, and that the treatment must be combined with some exercise, healthy eating and drinking plenty of water to get the results that you want. Lynda is a qualified nutritionist and can help you deal with many health issues without the use of medication and indeed many of their clients who lose weight, in conjunction with their doctor are able to reduce or stop taking medication such as dia betic medications, high blood pressure and statins. At the end of June, the team will be at the prestigious Cambridge 800 Conference and they’ll be introducing two of their slimmers to the delegates, one of whom has lost 5 and a half stones in weight.

Hair loss? It’s all grow at Margaretha‘s! IF you're feeling selfconscious or worried about hair loss, Salon Margaretha is here to help you with practical nofuss solutions that will help restore your hair health and feeling of wellbeing and confidence. Their 20 years experience ensures that you are in trustworthy, professional hands and their completely private consultation offers unrivalled advice, personalised treatment and tailormade hair replacement solutions. Their wide range of wigs and prosthetic hair pieces is so natural that it's impossible to tell them from real hair and their cutting and styling expertise ensure that your look is completely 'your own'. If you need any help in connection with hair loss, contact Margaretha herself on 966 921 846 at her clinic. (She spe cialises in alopecia and disruptions in hair growth due to ill ness, injury, hormone imbalances and chemo/radiotherapy treatments).

EVEN THE TILL WORKS! I was born in Blackburn, Lancashire in 1959 with my father Harry being a miller at Cobble Ltd and my mum Agnes was a well known singer (her stage name was Bobby). I have an older broth er Colin who at 21 became the youngest qualified funeral director in the UK. At 16 I became a cadet nurse and at 18 I passed my exams to become a student nurse. I qualified in 1976 and spent 6 months as a staff nurse before being given a senior sister post with my own ward caring for 7 physically handicapped gentlemen. I retired in 2000 and moved to Spain some time later. In 2012 I started a little part time job at the Open All Hours supermarket, La Zenia, and later that year when the shop was for sale, I decided to buy it!. I have been the owner for 18 months now and even though it has had its ups and downs I love it. My customers are fantastic and my 2 girls Lynn and Sam work hard. With all the characters that visit the shop there's never a dull moment. It's strange looking back that I bought a shop named after the TV series with Ronnie Barker who played Arkwright, as believe it or not MY MAIDEN NAME IS ARKWRIGHT!

BEST FOOT FORWARD

If you want your feet to look and feel the business, then why not touch base with Sue, a qualified and experienced chiropodist and beauty therapist who’s been working with satisfied customers in Spain for the last 12 years. Most of Sue’s work is at Viva Hair Design, a pop ular and busy salon in the El Galan area of the Orihuela Costa (just 5 minutes from the Campoamor Golf Club). At the salon, Sue provides a comprehensive chiropody service, which includes nail trimming; removal of corns and calluses; treatment and advice of fungal skin and nail conditions; heel pain; verrucae; ingrowing toenails; diabetic foot assessment and monitoring; as well as general advice and guidance on foot health, footwear and podiatry products. Sue also offers a combined treatment if you want to benefit from a chiropody treatment whilst also receiving aspects of a pedicure, or “The Medi Pedi”. This is a cost effective treatment for those who nor mally book separate chiropody and pedicure treatments, with both standard varnish and CND SHELLAC™ nail finishes are available. Sue also offers a home visiting chiropody service for those unable to get to the salon, covering the Orihuela Costa, San Miguel de Salinas, Torrevieja, Quesada, Benijofar and Pilar de la Horadada areas. To learn more call Sue at Viva Hair Design on 966 774 956 or for the home service, ring 609 377 982.

Friday, June 13, 2014

HEAD TO TOE STRETCHES FURTHER! Everyone loves a little pampering and now it just got better, with the new Head to Toe salon premises becoming a big hit. Geraldine first opened her hair and beauty salon in La Zenia with the aim of offering a Head to Toe pampering service and she has been successfully doing this for ten years but now things have gotten so much better. When the opportunity to expand presented itself. Geraldine jumped at the chance and on Easter Tuesday everything moved into her new bigger and better premises next door to Paddy’s Point bar. With so much extra space, Head to Toe offers a much wider variety of services including a new Foot Clinic; a new Physiotherapy Clinic ; two nail technicians; and two beauti cians offering all the latest treatments and of course not for getting her wonderful team of hair stylists. Geraldine really does offer the full Head to Toe treatment. Call in or phone 966773216 for an appointment.

LOOK A MILLION DOLLARS

If you want to look great, then check out “A Million Dollars Hair and Beauty Salon” in Playa Flamenca, which has established a top reputation in the 6 months that it’s been open. Amanda Baldwin decided to open the salon with her daughter Maria having 8 years’ experience in the hairdress ing business, and it’s turned out to be a great decision with a big and happy client list which has built up since the doors opened in November 2013. Working alongside Maria is Manoli who has over 20 years of hairdress ing experience, whilst nail technician Claire specialises in acrylic, gel and nail art’ and beautician Amanda who offers a variety of treatments including facials, massage, pedicures and flare lashes. The whole team use the best possible products available for a top experience that you will remember. NEW to the salon is a fantastic technique called NU SKIN Age Loc Galvanic Spa System, which gives your face a smooth and youthful look by getting rid of those ageing lines, as well as cellulite removal and stimu lating hair growth. Come and try this great experience, you will certainly see the difference! Book a course of 10 and receive 2 free! A Million Dollars Hair & Beauty Salon is situated in Residencial Parque Del Duque, close to the Playa Flamenca School & the Saturday street mar ket. Tel: (0034) 965319083.

VIVA LA VIDA Sandra opened the doors of the Vida Dance and Fitness Studio at the Los Dolses Commercial Centre just 2 months ago, and it’s made a very quick impact as a familyorientated place to have some fun as you get fit and make some new friends into the bargain! Sandra's personal experience was behind her special concept for Vida because she decided that at a certain age, she didn’t want to go to a traditional gym and just use the regular and mundane machines like a treadmill. A friend suggested that she should open up her own place, and the rest as they say is history! Sandra has put together a fantastic group of Instructors, so why don’t you go along and have a chat to see what’s on offer? Don't be afraid to go along, as it just costs 5 euros for a class or a special price of 20 euros for unlimited classes for the first month of your Vida membership. There’s some thing for everybody and suitable for all ages including Stretch & Balance; Body Combat; Pump; Spin; Boxfit; Beach Body; Circuit; Bokwa; Street Dance; Jump (mini trampolines) 20/20/20; and LBT. Just drop in for a friendly chat at the Vida Dance and Fitness Studio in Los Dolses Commercial Centre, Villamartin above Bankinter. Opening times 912. 5.308.30. Monday to Friday. 91.30 Sat.

La Ponderosa - your specialist jewellrey and gift store Special offer for the month of June buy a Thomas Sabo Karma bracelet for 59,00€ and receive a rose quarz bead resembling Love and elegance absolutly FREE La Zenia roundabout, next to Consum with free easy parking Tel. 966730425 www.laponderosa.es la ponderosa la zenia GET THE HOLLYWOOD LOOK Pop into the Hollywood Unisex Beauty and Hair Salon in Punta Prima for the perfect pamper from a team that pride themselves in giving their clients a calm and relaxing experi ence. You can enjoy the treatments in total privacy from the fully qualified technicians who are also insured for your peace of mind. Free consultations are conducted in confi dence. There’s everything you can possibly want like Semi Permanent Makeup by Sabine; Beauty from Dearbhla; Nails by Holly; Hair from Wendy; Threading by Pinky, as well your feet being looked after by Miriam the chiropodist. It’s all there for you be it threading, facials, pedicures, man icures, shellac and acrylics, and chiropody, as well as the Hollywood team hosting special make up Pamper Package parties. They are open Monday to Friday 10am to 4pm for Hair & Beauty and Saturdays 10am to 2pm for Hair. Phone 965326082 to make an appointment and to find out more.

Friday, June 13, 2014

FATHER'S DAY RECIPES Brilliant ideas for treating Dad to something extra special.

LAMB, APRICOT & SHALLOT TAGINE Ingredients 1 large leg of lamb, bone in (about 2kg) 600g shallots, halved if particularly large 400g small apricots, halved and stoned 85g whole skinless almonds 2 preserved lemons, flesh discarded, peel and pith finely chopped 1 tbsp ras el hanout 1 tbsp clear honey 150ml hot chicken stock small pack coriander, leaves picked couscous and natural yogurt, to serve For the marinade 4 tbsp olive oil 4 garlic cloves, crushed 1 tbsp ground cumin 2 tbsp clear honey 2 tsp ground cinnamon 2 tsp ground ginger 2 tsp coriander seeds pinch of saffron strands

Method 1. Slash the lamb leg all over and put in a big food bag, or in a large casserole dish. Smash the marinade ingredients together using a pestle and mortar. Add some black pepper and rub all over the lamb. Marinate overnight, or up to 24 hrs. 2. Heat oven to 140C/120C fan/gas 1. Sit the lamb in a big roasting tin, scraping off any leftover marinade on the top. Cover the tin with foil, pinching the edges to seal. Cook for 6 7 hrs, basting every hour or so, until the meat is incredibly tender. 3. Remove the roasting tin from the oven and increase oven to 200C/180C fan/gas 6. Pour the juices from the lamb into a measuring jug, cool slightly and skim off the fat. Put the shal lots in the tin with the lamb and toss to coat in some of the juices. Roast for 15 mins, then add the apricots and almonds. Whisk the cooking juices with the lemon, ras el hanout, honey and stock, then pour over the lamb and roast for another 20 mins. 4. Rest for 10 mins, then scatter over the herbs and serve with couscous and yogurt.

ITALIAN-STYLE ROAST PORK WITH CRISPY CRACKLING Ingredients 3 garlic cloves, finely chopped 3 bay leaves, roughly chopped 3 tsp black peppercorn 2 tsp sea salt 1½ tbsp fennel seeds

2½ tbsp olive oil 1.8kg rolled pork loin, untied with the skin scored 1 onion, cut into wedges 1 lemon, cut into wedges For the gravy 2 tbsp plain flour 125ml Marsala or red wine 100ml vegetable or chicken stock

Method

1. Pound the garlic, bay, pepper, 1 tsp sea salt and 1 tbsp of the fennel seeds using a pestle and mortar, then stir in 1 tbsp oil. Place the pork, skinside up, in a clean sink and pour over a kettleful of boiling water (this tightens the skin – the first step towards great crackling). Drain, pat dry and place, skin side down, on a chopping board. Rub the garlicky paste all over it, then roll up the loin and tie it at intervals with kitchen string. Arrange the onion and lemon in the centre of a roast ing tin and sit the pork on top, skinside up. Rub the rind with the remaining salt and leave at room temperature, uncov

Friday, June 13, 2014 ered, for 1 hr. 2. Heat oven to 230C/210C fan/gas 8. Rub the skin of the pork with the remaining oil. Lightly crush the remain ing fennel seeds and scatter over the meat. Roast for 30 mins, then turn the heat down to 180C/160C fan/gas 4 and continue to roast for 1 hr 20 mins. Remove the pork, cover loosely and leave to rest for 30 mins. If your crackling isn’t crisp, pop the joint under a hot grill for a few mins, but watch it as it will burn very easily. 3. Meanwhile, make the gravy. Tip away all but 1 tbsp of fat from the tin and put on the hob. Add the flour and mix with the onion and lemon, scraping any bits from the bottom. Pour in the Marsala and let it bubble, then gradually add the stock and any of the resting juices, and simmer gently for 810 mins. Season, if needed, and strain through a sieve before serving.

STOUT-BRAISED STEAK & CHIPS Ingredients 2 x 250g steaks of beef shin 4 tsp olive oil 500ml bottle of Guinness or other stout 1 beef stock cube, crumbled 2 tbsp Worcestershire sauce 2 tbsp brown sauce 3 bay leaves 4 shallots, 3 halved with their skin still on, 1 chopped as finely as you can 1 tsp grated horseradish, or 2 tsp creamed 1 tbsp white wine vinegar 2 handfuls watercress For the chips 600g large baking potatoes 1 tbsp fine polenta or plain flour 1 tbsp sunflower oil

Method

1. Heat oven to 180C/160C fan/gas 4. Season the steaks well on all sides, then heat a frying pan with 2 tsp of the oil. Brown the steaks well on all sides, then transfer to a snug casserole or narrow, deep baking dish. 2. Tip the Guinness into the frying pan and bring to a simmer, scraping up any stuck meaty bits. Pour over the steaks along with the stock cube, Worcestershire sauce, brown sauce, bay and skinon halved shallots (remove from the sauce later).

Cover the dish tightly with foil first, then add the lid (or a flat baking tray). Bake in the oven for 3 hrs until the meat is meltingly tender. 3. For the chips, 1 hr before serving, turn up oven to 200C/180C fan/gas 6. Bring a large pan of salted water to the boil while you cut the potatoes into as many 3cm fat chips. Parboil for 3 mins, then drain and let steamdry for a few mins. Tip onto a baking tray, toss with the polenta or flour and some sea salt, then drizzle over the oil and toss again. Roast for 45 mins until really crisp and golden. 4. When the chips have 20 mins left, lift your steaks from their cooking liquid and use a few sheets of baking parch ment to wrap them in a par cel, followed by foil. Put on a low shelf in the oven to heat through for 20 mins. Meanwhile, strain the cook ing liquid into a pan, discard ing the herbs and shallots. Boil fiercely until reduced by threequarters. Taste for sea soning, then keep warm. 5. Whisk the chopped shal lot, horseradish, remaining 2 tsp oil, vinegar and 1 tsp water with some seasoning, then use to dress the water cress. 6. To serve, carefully open the meat parcel over your saucepan to catch any juices, and add your beef to the sauce to coat. Stack your chips between 2 plates and add a pile of dressed water cress. Lift a steak onto each plate and spoon over the syrupy juices.

OOH LA LA!

Vive le difference in Los Montesinos for a wonderful chance to sample French cuisine at a restaurant that has got the area talking: Le Petit Cochon, which means the Little Pig. It’s your chance to tuck into some very spe cial French dishes cooked by a Frenchman, Franck, who along with his partner Karen opened up the restaurant last autumn. It’s been their dream to bring quality French cui sine to this part of Spain, having lived and worked in France for the last few years. They have a passion for quality food, and everything that you get is fresh, bringing some wonderful French flavours that have already brought rave reviews from their cus tomers who are coming from far and wide to try out their various delights. There’s a 3course evening setmenu that

starts at €12.50 and includes wine, and on the a la carte menu why not try some tradi tional snails or frog’s legs in garlic butter? A wonderfully popular item is the very filling duck breast with fruit of the forest sauce, and there’s a daily selection of fresh fish to tickle your taste buds. Add a selection of home made desserts and some fine wines, includ ing some specially brought in from France, and you have all the ingredients to make for a meal to remember. Franck and Karen give you personal serv ice that will give you a gourmet experience that you will want to repeat again and again, and you can find them right in the middle of Los Montesinos, on the Avenida de La Mar by the crossing over the road from the Sabadell Bank.

Friday, June 13, 2014

SPANISH NEWS

MUM-IN-LAW FLEECED

A bank manager who stole a six figure sum from his motherinlaw's account held at the branch that he was in charge of, has paid the price with a three and a half year jail sen tence. Carlos del P. G., assistant manager of one of the offices of La Caixa in Majadahonda (Madrid) forged the victim's signature to enable him to withdraw 32,350 Euros from her account. She didn’t have enough money in her account for the illegal transfer, and so that manager flogged off her share portfolio to generate the extra income for him to steal. Then, in May 2005, he scrapped the sending of account statements by post, both on his wife's and her mother's accounts, meaning they would not get the monthly letters detail ing their financial movements. As soon as they stopped receiving state ments, the fraudster made numerous trans fers to his own bank accounts to the tune of thousands of Euros at a time. To avoid dis covery, he tampered with the bank's IT sys tem so that the transfers would not appear in his motherinlaw's bank book when she inserted it into the cashpoint machine for her account movements to be updated in print. Instead, on the dates in question, the bank book read 'details of previous operations available in your branch office'. Eventually, the victim worked out what was happening and reported her soninlaw

to the police. He has been ordered to pay her 214,450 Euros in compensation, which includes interest and legal fees, and has been banned from ever working in the finan cial services sector again. The court verdict said that if the accused was insolvent, La Caixa would have to pay the compensation – a decision the bank has appealed against to the Supreme Court. But they are unlikely to succeed since, as a com pany, La Caixa is liable for the actions of its employees, representatives or management in the course of their duties in providing the firm's services to the public.

BEAR NECESSITIES FACE CHOP A randy brown bear in the Pyrenees is facing castration or segregation amid fears that his sexual dominance is threatening the species' survival in the region by limiting genetic diversity. Pyros, one of the oldest of the 30 or so bears who roam the mountains between France and Spain, is the father, grandfather or greatgrandfather of nearly all of the cubs born in the Pyrenees over the past two decades. There are four other males in the colony – only one of them is not related to Pyros – and none of them have fathered any offspring. Spanish officials said they were being forced to decide between castration or seg regation for Pyros after the recent birth of a cub who was both his daughter and grand daughter. "If he keeps up this sexual vigour and dominant attitude for a few more years, the other males in the mountains have no chance of mating with any of the females,"

José Enrique Arró, the councillor who oversees environmental issues in the Val d'Aran, told La Vanguardia. Officials in Spain and France have been work ing for more than a decade to reintroduce brown bears to the moun tain range. Now the colony's survival is threatened by serious inbreeding, much of it directly linked to the continued sexual domi nance of Pyros. Most brown bears are sexu al active until they reach 19 years of age. But Pyros, now aged 26, shows no sign of slow ing down. Local officials are hoping that Pyros will be spared either castration or segregation by his biological clock. As bears age, they lose their teeth, making it difficult to eat and mak ing them appear less vigorous to females. For most bears this decline begins in their late teens. Now regional officials are keeping their fingers crossed that old age might just be what saves this colony of bears.

MOST WANT ROYAL VOTE The majority of Spaniards want a referendum on the future of the monarchy, according to a poll published less than a week after King Juan Carlos abdicated in favour of his son. Nearly twothirds – 62% – believe a referendum should be held "at some point" to decide whether Spain should con tinue to have a monarchy, the survey in the daily news paper El Pais showed. Within hours of the 76year old king's announcement on 2 June that he was abdicat ing in favour of his son, thou sands of people massed in

central Madrid and other cities to demand a referen dum on the monarchy. If a referendum were to be held, the poll found 49% of people would prefer to have a monarchy with Felipe as king while 36% would sup port a republic. Republican

sentiment remains strong in Spain, which only restored the monarchy in 1975 after the death of General Franco. The prime minister, Mariano Rajoy, has rejected calls for a referendum on the monar chy. He argues that Spain's 1978 constitution, which established a parliamentary democracy with the king as a largely ceremonial head of state, was supported by a great majority in a referen dum at the time. The El Pais survey of 1,000 people was carried out by the Metroscopia polling firm on 45 June.

A Galicia man who put out details over police radar speed traps has been arrest ed for his trouble. His serv ice, via WhatsApp, to his friends and contacts gave full details of where traffic police were due to be sta tioned and where portable cameras were being set up out of sight, given the exact locations and times. The information would only have been available to officers themselves when

given their work rota, leading them to believe an insider within the force had tipped off the social network user. A photo of the day's rota was included in the message, as well as the names and num bers of the police officers who would be carrying out the speed checks. After being taken into cus tody and giving a statement, the accused was released pending further investiga tions. He has not been for

mally charged, but if found guilty, would be in breach of the law covering revelation of State secrets.

He may have seen his man, Novak Djokovic, lose in the French Open final to Rafa Nadal on Sunday, but at least his coach and for mer star, Boris Becker has served up a last minute save for his holiday villa on Majorca. The German ace coughed up the huge sum he owed a local builder just five minutes before the prop erty was about to go under the hammer. The 2,900square metre property was confiscated by Spanish authorities in March after Becker failed to pay a Mallorca builder 391 thou sand Euros for carpentry,

plumbing and surfacing of a basketball court. The six time Grand Slam champion was also told his ninebed room property would be auc tioned off for 7 million Euros. But he produced a late rally with a lob over the seizure as his lawyer handed over

SPEEDY ARREST

BORIS ACES JUDGE

430 thousand Euros to a Mallorca. This is the second time Becker has nearly seen his holiday home sold off, as in 2012, he ended up in court on the island over 359 thousand Euros in unpaid gardening bills.

Friday, June 13, 2014

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Friday, June 13, 2014

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Friday, June 13, 2014

Horoscopes Aries March 21 April 19 People around you might have been expecting a bit more cooperation on your part. You could be nicer and more con cerned about their needs. It seems that you've been illtempered recently. You like acting this way occasionally. Sometimes you act like a child who wants to play more. If you indulge this urge to play more often, you'll be able to be more loving toward your entourage.

Taurus April 20 May 20 If it were up to you, you'd rather stay in bed reading than confront the world. Deep inside, however, you know you need to socialize. You feel that you can't be left out of society. But have you ever thought about finding someone who shares your tastes? You could read in bed with some one else and still have a lot of contact.

Gemini May 21 June 20 Generosity is one of your best qualities, Gemini. You have the uncanny ability to give without expecting anything in return, and you gain a great deal of power and light from this generosity. With little effort, you could become one of those people who never expects things in return. You could become a "saint" in a very real way.

Cancer June 21 July 22 Every once in a while everyone must ana lyze his or her life. But you tend to be too pessimistic when you ponder yours. You get easily carried away, and you often exaggerate. Today, as you think about your life, try not to listen to that little voice in your head. Your life is far from being the way that you think it is.

By Pandora Leo July 23 August 22 You'll have to use a cunning strategy today. The day will be tense and delicate. Some of your friends may try to put some pressure on you to obtain certain things. You'll have to find a clever way to get out of this tight spot. You might consider using some of their own medicine on them. This way, Leo, you could keep your freedom. Try it and see.

Virgo August 23 September 22 Today, Virgo, you'll become quite intro spective and reflect on your life. You prob ably heard some discouraging news con cerning someone close to you, and it could leave you feeling blue. You'll find that you put a great deal of emotion into this rela tionship. Don't let this get you down. You need to react. Try to recharge your batter ies so you can get your energy back.

Libra September 23 October 22 Have your friends ever told you that you could be a great teacher? At home, you're the one who's talking all the time. You're almost compelled to make others listen to you. Children are fascinated by your knowl edge. Today, Libra, someone might not agree with you and upset you. You'll learn that your lessons can lead to a conversa tion. Knowledge isn't a oneway street.

Scorpio October 23 November 21 You've been working hard lately and giving a lot of your energy to others, Scorpio. Today you're feeling tired. There will be tension in the air throughout the day. You may feel that certain people that you con sidered friends now disappoint you. Don't get tangled up in their superficiality. It's probably wise to put some distance between you and these people.

Sagittarius November 22 December 21 Today, Sagittarius, you'll undoubtedly ask yourself a lot of questions. You tend to be rather introverted, and you typically need a great deal of freedom. You're usually an energetic person, but with the current astral energy at play, you may feel lonely and doubtful of your abilities. Take time today to analyze your commitments to oth ers.

Capricorn December 22 January 19 You'll be the savior of the day. Your wis dom and patience will be your best assets today, Capricorn. You'll be of great help to those around you. You'll counsel them and be able to guide them toward better days. All those who are lost in their personal problems just need someone like you. You're their friend and they appreciate your generosity.

Aquarius January 20 February 18 You shouldn't work as hard as you do. You might have a lot of energy, but your body needs to rest from time to time. There is more to life than work. Try to schedule some time off to relax and recharge your batteries. You'll need to be in the best of shape pretty soon. The action is just around the corner, and you'll need all your capacities.

Pisces February 19 March 20 You'll be lost in your thoughts today, Pisces. The celestial atmosphere is right for enabling you to ponder a frustrating aspect of your life. Often your partner is far away from you, yet you need your sweetie beside you. This may well be the cause of a lot of tension in your life now. The time is right to talk to your partner about this situ ation and try to rectify it.

Friday, June 13, 2014

RICHARD CAVENDER

Bluemoon Solutions www.bluemoonsolutions.es

BlueMoon Solutions is the computer and IT services com pany on the Costa Blanca, they provide quality computer services at realistic prices and specialise in working with home users and small businesses.

Richard moved to Spain seven years ago hav ing left his management background behind in the UK and decided to use his IT skills to help home users and small businesses with their PC problems. Now a relaxed 'computer man' he is out and about in the Spanish sun every day, making house and shop calls and using his vast experience and qualifications to (usually) sort out the problem there and then. Computers are his hobby as well as his work so don’t be surprised to get an answer to your email in the early hours!

ADVICE: Allen wanted to know his friend could reset the ADVICE: Derek wanted to know why he had to keep password on her Gmail email. entering his password details on the computer every few Good afternoon Richard. Can you help? My friend has forgotten her password for google mail. When I was in a similar position I was able to select a new one using minutes.

the "forgot password" facility but there just doesn’t seem to be a similar facility for google mail. Is there anything that we can do short of setting up a new account? Regards, Allen

Hi Richard, Why do I keep having to re enter my password details on the com puter, as every time I stop using the computer for about 1 minute I get a screen come up requesting password details again. Hope you can help, Derek

Q A

Hi Allen, yes there is a similar facility for Gmail users, just ask your friend to click on the link below and follow the on screen instructions... https://www.google.com/accounts/recovery

Hi Derek, I imagine that you have set some sort of screen saver password and therefore after x number of minutes of inactivity the com puter is asking for the pass word in order to unlock the profile. You can check the settings by right hand clicking on the desktop, clicking "person alise" and then "screen saver".

ADVICE: Ayliff wanted to know how to get sound working from online applications like BBC Radio READERS TIP: Pat had some advice for a reader who was having problems transferring photos from his Galaxy S4 Hola Richard, I have one problem and that is phone. sound. I can play my iTunes stuff, so speak

ers are connected o.k. but am unable to access BBC Radio, by that I mean I connect and press listen and there is no sound. Any ideas on the subject? Please let me know your thoughts. Regards Ayliff

Hi Ayliff, most of these services use Adobe Flash Player, you can download it free from www.adobe.com, once you have downloaded it try the service again and see if it’s any better.

Don’t forget you can follow me on twit ter @bluemoonspain Alternately why don’t you sign up for my newsletter. You can do this by going to: www.bluemoonsolutions.es and fill in the form that is on any page except the front page.

TIP: Hi Richard, I´ve just been reading your page in The Courier and was very interested in the problem Bob was having trans ferring photos from his Galaxy S4 phone. I had the same problem and how I overcame it may be of some help. Once the phone is connected to the PC, pull down the top bar on the mobile and check "connect as camera". When the window opens on the PC click on "open to see files on device". Double click on the device symbol, then on DCIM and drag and drop photos into your selected folder on the PC. It´s a bit laborious, but is the only way I have found to successfully transfer photos. Hope this helps, Pat

office@bluemoonsolutions.es www.bluemoonsolutions.es Mobile: 655 044 970

Office: 902 906 200

Friday, June 13, 2014

Formula E racing cars to be powered by Twitter In an effort to prove that fans really can win races, the new allelectric Formula E championship will provide a last lap power boost to the driver who gets the most love on Twitter during each round of the event. Formula E starts in September 2014, and will be the world’s first fully electric racing series. The cars are SparkRenault single seaters, which look a little like silent Formula One cars, and will compete over 10 rounds held in some of the world’s most famous city centres.

Formula E Twitter power boost: how it works

Every Formula E driver is entitled to two ‘boosts’ per race – brief extra shots of power that they can deploy as they see fit. To grab that vital overtaking opportunity, for exam ple. Each driver will have two cars and will swap from one to the other during the race Now it’s been revealed that, as part of the plan to engage racing enthusiasts via social media, the driver who receives the most @

mentions on Twitter during each round will get a third, extra boost on the last lap – which could mean the difference between disappointment and victory. With a global reach – there are teams from China, Europe, India, Japan and the US, includ ing one run by Leonardo DiCaprio – there is some con cern that the team from the most heavily populated country might dominate this unusual feature. But according to Formula E's chief executive officer, Alejandro Agag: “That’s fine. It’s what we want. They won’t win the race because of that.” So perhaps it’s an attempt to redress the balance of driving talent instead...

Formula E: car swaps and online gaming

Other curious things about Formula E include the reality that battery technology for

Hovering cars soon?

In the movies, especially scifi movies, we’re always greeted with vehicles that can fly or hover. It’s an inter esting concept and we have to wonder just when can we look forward to such inven tions? Well the good news is that Toyota is working on it. The Japanese car manufac turer has recently announced that they will be investigating the possibility of vehicles that will be able to hover over the road. Speaking at Bloomberg’s Next Big Thing Summit in San Francisco, Toyota’s Hiroyoshi Yoshiki mentioned that the company was look ing at the idea of flying cars, although he noted that these cars would not be flying so much as it would be hover

ing. Instead of cars zipping over the skies, these cars would hover above the roads to help reduce friction, similar to how a hovercraft works. Unfortunately Yoshiki did not mention when Toyota had begun its research or how far along they are in to their research. he also declined to mention if such a

vehicle would ever make it into the market, but we guess it’s good that at least some companies are explor ing the idea, even if it is just for the sake of technological advances. In terms of advancements in vehicular technology, we seem to be pretty far away from flying cars and whatnot, but companies like Nissan, Google, and Volvo are cur rently exploring the idea of vehicles that can drive them selves without any input from humans. That in itself is facing some challenges from lawmakers who might be concerned over its safety, so we can only imagine the obstacles that manufactur ers would face over cars that could fly/hover.

electric cars isn’t yet highly developed enough to last for an entire hourlong con test – so each driver will have two cars and will swap from one to the other during the race. Why no one thought to make the races shorter, we have no idea. Further innovations include a scheme to develop an online virtual racing game that will allow fans to compete against the pro fessional racers, during the events, in real time. Which actually sounds pretty amazing.

Exactly how all this is going to compen sate for a racing series that doesn’t make any noise (electric cars being essentially silent) remains to be seen. After all, just look at the furore surrounding Formula One's new turbo engines, which merely made the sport quieter than it used to be. The inaugural Formula E championship starts in September this year and runs until July 2015. Among the cities signed up to host a round are Beijing, London and Los Angeles.

Friday, June 13, 2014

CODE CRACKER Code Cracker is a crossword puzzle with no clues; instead, every letter of the alphabet has been replaced by a number, the same number representing the same letter throughout the puzzle. All you have to do is decide which letter is represented by which number. In this week’s puzzle, 7 represents C and 11 represents Z, when these letters have been entered throughout the puzzle, you should have enough information to start guessing words and discovering other letters.

QUICKIE

Across

Down

1 Quantity of baked bread (5) 4 Damned (6) 9 Put in order (7) 10 Fling (5) 11 Powder (4) 12 Fervent (7) 13 Stinging flying insect (3) 14 Scoundrel (5) 16 Robust (5) 18 Falsehood (3) 19 Genuine (7) 20 Quote (4) 23 Main arterial vessel (5) 24 Attendant (7) 25 Plucked (6) 26 Pay out (5)

1 Lodger (7) 2 Periods (5) 3 Clue (4) 5 Changeable (8) 6 Grave (7) 7 Sediment (5) 8 Grab (5) 13 Drink (8) 15 Broad (7) 17 Gave way (7) 18 Smallest (5) 19 Outer covering of the skull (5) 21 Annoyed (5) 22 Untidiness (4)

Last weeks Solution

Across: 1 Cargo, 4 Tsar, 9 Secular, 10 Under, 11 Imp, 12 Agree, 14 Irate, 15 Asked, 16 Kiev, 18 Idea, 20 Egypt, 22 Rules, 23 Yacht, 25 Due, 26 Decor, 27 Algebra, 29 Taps, 30 Seedy. Down: 1 Casual, 2 Recur, 3 Owl, 5 Stupidity, 6 Red tape, 7 Prickly pear, 8 Brief, 13 Eavesdrop, 17 Illicit, 19 Crude, 21 Steady, 24 Cable, 28 Gas.

Scribble Pad

DOUBLE CROSS-WORD Solve the Double CrossWord puzzle using either the standard or cryptic clues, the answers are exactly the same.

CRYTPIC CLUES Across 1 Some disapproval lets customers try out goods before buying them (5) 4 Poorly? Don’t start crying (6) 9 Land needs me badly (7) 10 Ms Hird can be seen in Bath or a nearby town (5) 11 Authentic old coin (4) 12 Six rings around maid ens (7) 13 Cherry does not need her blubber (3) 14 Renew what’s dam aged with something mod ern (5) 16 Nymph hiding in tore ador’s home (5) 18 Measure the middle of the paellas (3) 19 First book new sign, see? (7) 20 Smack on the wrist? (4) 23 Rebuilt abode using clay (5) 24 Bad example or exam ples (7) 25 Formally agrees to pro vide luxury (6) 26 Age is a new form of support (5)

Down 1 Road inn arranged around the hearth (7) 2 Dad gets a measure of current grass (5) 3 Kiln, as in Old Testament (4) 5 Law agency involved in plot to capture the Queen (8) 6 Funny oldies I herowor ship (7) 7 Scruffy togas for Capricorns (5) 8 He and a docked Navy is substantial (5) 13 Redesigned Civil Service Centre is curved in shape (8) 15 It’s charming to have the odd victory (7) 17 Fed up with Ray’s refunds (7) 18 Compound built of trees (5) 19 Enormous soldier ant (5) 21 Take down awful pun, for example (5) 22 Greek goddess is part of the Ram constellation (4)

STANDARD CLUES 26 Support (5) Across Down 1 Favourable reception (5) 1 Fireplace log holder (7) 4 Not well (6) 2 Argentine grassland (5) 9 Landed property (7) 3 Brewer’s kiln (4) 10 First name of actress 5 International law enforce Hird (5) ment agency (8) 11 Actual (4) 6 Heroworship (7) 12 Inexperienced persons 7 Agile mountain animals (7) (5) 13 Weep (3) 8 Weighty (5) 14 More current (5) 13 Halfmoon (8) 16 Mountain nymph (5) 15 Charming (7) 18 Measure of cloth (3) 17 Bears the expenses of 19 First book of the Bible (7) (7) 18 Organic compound (5) 20 End of a shirt arm (4) 19 Monster (5) 23 Sundried brick (5) 21 Remove dowels (5) 24 Models (7) 22 Queen of Mount 25 Deals with (6) Olympus (4) Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Scraping, 5 Ever, 9 Ocelots, 10 Civil, 11 Beef, 12 Calends, 15 Roster, 16 Beggar, 19 Heretic, 21 Gala, 24 Livid, 25 Spotted, 26 Goya, 27 Canoodle. Down: 1 Snobbery, 2 Reefers, 3 Pool, 4 Nassau, 6 Vivid, 7 Rely, 8 Acceded, 13 Beheads, 14 Organdie, 17 Granted, 18 Fiesta, 20 Envoy, 22 Flog, 23 Dodo.

FILL IT IN

Complete the crossword grid by using the given words:

3 letter words Lee Ran War 4 letter words Area Aria Aver Axis Bald Bard Bass Bike Brae Cane Cote

Data Else Enol Into Isle Left Loge Node Nuts Oral Pint Rely Rift Rode Rues Sent Silo Skis

Slow Stew Taxi Team Tole Unit Watt 5 letter words Aches Adder Alike Aster Awake Boast Eaten Elope Heave

Ingle Kiosk Pixie Ratel Recap Reset Roost Scene Seers Soaks Steer Stirs Swabs Taper Venue Wiles 6 letter words

Almost Hacker Ornate Papers Pastry Sparse Splice Svelte 7 letter words Anthrax Attract Seethes Whereas 8 letter words Database Easiness

SPANISH-ENGLISH CROSSWORD

Improve your Spanish clues in Spanish, answers in English or vice versa.

Across 7 To scratch (with claw, nail) (6) 8 Hardly (6) 9 Nombre (de persona, cosa) (4) 10 Meanwhile (8) 11 Esponjas (para el aseo) (7) 13 To sew (5) 15 Cajas (5) 17 To mix together (ingredients, colours, liq uids) (7) 20 Generoso (persona) (8) 21 Brazos (de persona) (4) 23 Receta (6) 24 Pavo (6)

Down 1 Berry (4) 2 Pantalla (television, cine) (6) 3 Trompeta (7) 4 Puertas (de jardín, ciu dad) (5) 5 Centre (6) 6 Chambermaid (8) 12 To protect (8) 14 Sensible (having good sense) (7) 16 To choose (6) 18 Square (6) 19 Cuerdas (gruesas) (5) 22 Honey (from bees) (4)

Friday, June 13, 2014 Across 1/24 1973 American comedy film set in Kansas and Missouri during the Great Depression, starring Ryan and Tatum O’Neal as Moze and Addie (5,4) 4 Weekly listing of the current bestselling pop records (3,6) 9/10 Otherwise unknown person, usually abroad, with whom one corresponds (3,3) 11 Symbol of socialist revolution or a warning of danger (3,4) 12 Cut of meat taken from the side and back of an animal between the ribs and the rump (4) 13 Drug prepared from the leaves and root of dead ly nightshade (10) 15 Dog of a shortlegged breed with a foxlike head (5) 16 Treat a sacred place or thing with violent disre spect (9) 17 Refused to abandon

one’s opinion or belief (5,4) 21 Old Testament prophet who led the Israelites from Egypt across the Red Sea on a journey known as the Exodus (5) 23 Physicist who studies celestial bodies and the uni verse as a whole (10) 24 See 1 27 Diplomatic building where ambassadors live or work (7) 28 Heavy metal stove used for heating and cook ing (3) 29 Elongated seed vessel of a leguminous plant such as the pea, splitting open on both sides when ripe (3) 30 Austrianborn actor and film director who was a leader in developing method acting in the US (19011982): Lee (9) 31 Soft, malleable grey ishyellow paste, made from ground chalk and raw lin seed oil, which hardens after a few hours and is used for sealing glass in

SUDOKU (Hard)

Quiz Word

window frames and filling holes in wood (5) Down 1 Dark circular opening

in the centre of the iris of the eye, which varies in size to regulate the amount of light reaching the retina (5) 2 A large basket, usually

one of a pair, carried by a beast of burden or on a bicycle (7) 3 Fully developed or matured and ready to be eaten or used (4) 4 Pike fitted with an axe head (7) 5 American rock band led by vocalists Howard Kaylan and Mark Volman, whose UK hit singles include Happy Together, She’d Rather Be With Me (both 1967) and Elenore (1968) (7) 6 Military officer acting as a confidential assistant to a senior officer (424) 7 State capital and largest city of Georgia (7) 8 Skilled workers who can inscribe designs or writ ing onto a surface by carv ing or etching (9) 14 Rolling Stones’ song from their 1971 album Sticky Fingers, which was a UK Top 10 hit single for Susan Boyle in 2009 (4,6) 15 Small concave pieces

of wood, ivory, or plastic, joined in pairs by a cord and clicked together by the fin gers as a rhythmic accom paniment to Spanish danc ing (9) 18 Month known to the as AngloSaxons Winterfylleth, because at this full moon (fylleth) winter was supposed to begin (7) 19 Someone who assists a priest or minister in a litur gical service (7) 20 Another term for bêchedemer, a large sea cucumber eaten as a deli cacy in China and Japan (7) 22 Athletic competition in which a heavy metal ball is hurled as far as possible (4,3) 25 Wooden boy who lives in Toyland, created by chil dren’s author Enid Blyton (5) 26 Coarse file or similar metal tool for scraping, filing or rubbing down objects of metal, wood or other hard material (4)

SALLY’S SIMPLE SPANISH LA REALEZA /ROYALTY Match these words with their Spanish translations then find them in the wordsearch. (Answers below)

abdicar

la casa real

coronar

la corona

el jefe de estado

la infanta

el palacio

la monarquía

el príncipe

la princesa

el rey

la reina

el trono

reinar

movies/tv QUIZ

ANSEWRS 1. Fred Quimby 2. Marcel 3. Karl Malden 4. Charlie Chaplin 5. An Actress 6. The Great Dictator, Adenoid Hinkel 7. Vince Edwards 8. Hocus Pocus 9. In the heat of the night 10. Psycho 11. Ginger Rodgers 12. Happy Rabbit 13. I Love Lucy

Last Week’s Solutions Code Cracker Last weeks Quiz Word Solution Across: 1 Dragnet, 5 Summons, 8 Loire, 9 Rainwater, 11 Battering rams, 13 Spruce, 16 Hangover, 18 Hannibal, 19 Nelson, 24 Spill the beans, 26 Stage door, 27 Agile, 28 Cologne, 29 Big bang. Down: 1 Delibes, 2 Aviator, 3 Niece, 4 Turnip, 5 Stingray, 6 Oates, 7 Sarah, 10 Wrangle, 12 Peso, 14 Pear, 15 Cuisine, 17 Calliope, 20 Stamina, 21 Nest egg, 22 Cherub, 23 BASIC, 24 Snail, 25 Bragg.

Empareja estas palabras Match the Spanish and English words You will find the answers at the bottom of the quiz. j.the prince,

1.abdicar, 2.coronar, 3.el jefe de estado, 4.el palacio,

a.the queen, b.the palace,

k.the royal household,

5.el príncipe, 6.el rey, 7.el trono,

c.the King, d.to reign,

l.to crown, m.the throne,

8.la casa real, 9.la corona,

e.head of state,

n.the princess.

10.la infanta, 11.la monarquía,

f.the princess(not in direct line to

12.la princesa, 13.la reina,

the throne), g.the crown,

14.reinar

h.the monarchy, i.to abdicate,

Soduko

Span Eng

Quizword

Answers: 1i, 2l, 3e, 4b, 5j, 6c, 7m, 8k, 9g, 10f, 11h, 12n, 13a, 14d.

1. Who produced the 'Tom and Jerry' cartoons until 1956? 2. What was the name of Rose's monkey on the TV show 'Friends'? 3. Malden Serkiovitch became famous as which actor? 4. Which film star has his statue in Leicester Square? 5. Dorethy Parker said "Scratch an actor and you will find" what? 6. In which film did Charlie Chaplain have his first speaking part in 1940? 7. Name the actor who played Ben Casey? 8. Which 1993 Disney film starred Bet Middler as a witch? 9. What film won the best picture Oscar in 1967? 10. In what film was the first flushing toilet seen? 11. Virginia McMath, became famous as which actress? 12. What was Bugs Bunny's original name? 13. Which TV show did 44 million Americans watch, while only 27 million watched Eisenhower being sworn in?

Fill It In

Friday, June 13, 2014

TRELI ON THE TELLY with ALEX TRELINSKI Well done to the lads of Collabro for deservedly winning Britain’s Got Talent last weekend. Despite everybody on the night saying how close it was going to be and how they could not call it (all typical TV hype), I had no

doubt from the moment they won the first live semifinal. To be fair, it was an enter taining watch despite there being not enough variety, and I thought the singer Lucy Kay was classy with her per formance of Nessun Dorma, which got her second place. What with Jack Pack and Bars & Melody, Simon Cowell is going to be very busy signing up acts to his Syco label, with more rich pickings than you could ever get off one season of The X Factor. Stand by though for some changes next year amongst the judges. You could tell during the live

TALENT SHINES THROUGH

shows that there was a frosty air between Simon Cowell and David Walliams, and with Piers Morgan failing in his American adventure, I suspect that exnewspaper editor might just make a return to the show for the next season.

of the French Open Tennis. It’s been the third year they’ve done it, and for me it has a touch of professional As we start to get ism mixed in with a light engulfed in all of the touch, plus top punditry from World Cup coverage, and Jim Courier and the excellent with Wimbledon around the John Inverdale hosting it all. corner, a quick word of praise Despite being an exBBC for ITV’s brilliant presentation man, I have to say I was delighted to hear that ITV had beaten off a bid from the Beeb for the event and now have the rights until 2018. There is absolutely no way that the corporation could have matched what ITV have produced, and they would probably have hidden a lot of the action “behind the red button”. And back to the World Cup with the excellent news that the BBC and ITV have carved up a new joint deal with FIFA to shut out the pay broadcasters which gives them exclusive rights to the 2018 and 2022 tourna ments. Rare credit as well

has to go to the UK govern ment which has the World Cup categorised as a “listed event”, which means that it has to be shown on free to air TV, as opposed to the stupid ity here in Spain, which has over half the matches on the satellite Canal Plus service, which hardly anybody both ers with.

Better late than never, but on the recommen dation of a couple of people, I’ve watched the BBC drama, Happy Valley in 2 big por tions via the internet. I don’t know why I didn’t make a point of watching it in the first place, especially since the always reliable Sarah Lancashire was the star, and Sally Wainwright (creator of Last Tango in Halifax which features Sarah Lancashire) wrote the sizzling scripts. There’s no doubt that along with Line of Duty (and of

course Sherlock), that is the best British drama of the year so far, with just a little bit of inspiration perhaps from the movie Fargo in some the ele ments. Thank then heavens for modern technology and some friends who have taste in quality television!

I’ve been bitterly disap pointed by the Irishset detective series, Quirke, on BBC1, which probably explains why it has been gathering dust on a BBC shelf for a number of months. The plots plod along at the pace of a fly crawling across a wall, and we have another example of a drama series where we have the actors mumbling, rather than speak ing. What a shame and a waste, especially when you have Gabriel Byrne in the lead role. There’s been far better diction on Mrs. Brown’s Boys.

Friday June 13 00:35 This Week 01:20 Holiday Weatherview 01:25 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Crimewatch Roadshow 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Claimed and Shamed 12:30 The Legalizer 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Perfection 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:30 Hairy Bikers' Best of British 17:30 Antiques Road Trip 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 EastEnders 20:30 World Cup Finals 2014 23:10 BBC News 23:35 BBC Regional News and Weather 23:45 The Graham Norton Show

00:20 Match of the Day: FIFA World Cup Highlights 01:00 Welcome to Rio 02:00 Panorama 02:30 Match of the Day: FIFA World Cup Replay 04:15 This Is BBC Two 05:00 Howard Goodall's Story of Music 06:00 Schools: Dance with the

Elements 06:30 Schools: Compose Yourself 06:55 Schools Wonders of Nature: Monarch Butterfly Spectacle 07:00 This Is BBC Two 07:05 Homes Under the Hammer 08:05 Building Dream Homes 08:35 Brazil's Soccer Cities 08:40 Match of the Day: FIFA World Cup Highlights 09:20 Don't Get Done, Get Dom 10:05 The Great British Sewing Bee 11:05 First Time on the Front Line 11:35 The Travel Show 12:00 BBC News 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Tennis from Queen's 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Building Dream Homes 20:00 Antiques Road Trip 21:00 Sea City 21:30 Gardeners' World 22:00 Natural World 23:00 The Fast Show 23:30 Newsnight

00:15 00:50 00:55 01:20 04:00 04:40 05:15 06:05 07:00 09:30 10:25 11:30 13:30 14:30 14:55 15:00 16:00 16:59 17:00 20:10 20:40 20:45 21:00 21:30 22:30 23:00 23:30 23:35

ITV News and Weather ITV News Meridian Harbour Lives Jackpot247 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA ITV Nightscreen May the Best House Win The Jeremy Kyle Show Good Morning Britain Lorraine The Jeremy Kyle Show This Morning Loose Women ITV News and Weather ITV News Meridian Celebrity Jeremy Kyle Dickinson's Real Deal ITV Meridian Weather FIFA World Cup Live 2014 Emmerdale ITV News Meridian ITV News and Weather Emmerdale Coronation Street Benidorm ITV News at Ten and Weather ITV News Meridian FIFA World Cup Live 2014

WORLD CUP FINALS 2014 Spain v Netherlands (Kickoff 9.00pm). Coverage of the opening World Cup Group B match for both teams, which takes place at the Arena Fonte Nova in Salvador, Brazil. Spain enter the tournament as the reigning champions after beating the Netherlands in the 2010 World Cup final in South Africa.

00:25 24 Hours in A&E 01:25 One Born Every Minute 02:20 The Complainers 03:15 My Last Summer 04:10 Dispatches 05:05 Time Team 06:05 Deal or No Deal 07:00 Countdown 07:45 According to Jim 08:10 3rd Rock from the Sun 08:35 The King of Queens 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 11:00 Undercover Boss Canada 12:00 Come Dine with Me 13:00 Channel 4 News Midday Summary 13:05 Come Dine with Me 14:40 A Place in the Sun 15:40 Countdown 16:30 Deal or No Deal 17:30 Draw It! 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 Celebrity Fifteen to One 22:00 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown 23:00 Alan Carr: Chatty Man

00:00 Big Brother's Bit on the Side 01:00 SuperCasino 04:10 Football Hooligan & Proud 05:00 Great Artists 05:20 HouseBusters 06:10 Wildlife SOS 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:55 Milkshake! Bop Box 08:00 Pip Ahoy! 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Little Princess 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:30 Milkshake! Monkey 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Trauma Doctors 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 Mystery Woman: Snapshot 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 Cricket 2014 21:00 Eddie Stobart: Trucks and Trailers 22:00 Big Brother 23:00 Stand by Your Man 23:40 Big Brother

Friday, June 13, 2014

Saturday June 14 06:40 Deadline at Dawn 00:30 Uncle 01:00 EastEnders 02:55 Weatherview 03:00 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:00 Saturday Kitchen Live 11:30 Trooping the Colour 14:05 BBC News; Weather 14:20 Tennis from Queen's 17:00 World Cup Finals 2014 17:30 World Cup Finals 2014 20:10 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 20:30 Pointless Celebrities 21:20 The National Lottery: In It to Win It 22:10 Casualty 23:00 BBC News; Weather 23:20 World Cup Finals 2014

14/06 00:00 BBC2 00:00 Weather 00:05 Twelve Monkeys 02:10 Question Time 03:10 Match of the Day: FIFA World Cup Replay

08:00 Gardeners' World 08:30 The Beechgrove Garden 09:00 MOTD Kickabout 09:30 Brazil's Soccer Cities 09:55 World Cup Films 11:30 Match of the Day: FIFA World Cup Highlights 12:15 Wimbledon Classics 14:15 Talking Pictures 15:00 Citizen Kane 17:00 Tennis from Queen's 18:30 Flog It! 19:30 Trooping the Colour Highlights 21:00 Yes, Prime Minister 21:30 I Love 22:55 Red Dwarf 23:25 TOTP2: 80s Special

02:15 Jackpot247 04:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 04:40 ITV Nightscreen 07:00 Fort Boyard Ultimate Challenge 07:25 Dino Dan: Trek's Adventures 07:50 Canimals 08:05 Sooty 08:20 Digimon Fusion 08:45 Horrid Henry 09:00 Adventure Time 09:25 ITV News 09:30 Weekend 10:25 The Hungry Sailors 11:20 Murder, She Wrote 12:15 ITV News and Weather 12:30 Storage Hoarders 13:30 All Star Mr & Mrs 14:30 Fool Britannia 15:00 Babe: Pig in the City 16:40 Gail & Me: 40 Years on Coronation Street 17:10 All Star Family Fortunes 18:00 Tipping Point 19:05 ITV News Meridian 19:15 ITV News and Weather 19:30 You've Been Framed! 20:30 FIFA World Cup Live 2014 23:15 ITV News and Weather 23:29 ITV Meridian Weather 23:30 Road Rage Britain: Caught on Camera

00:05 Rude Tube 01:05 Brooklyn NineNine 01:30 Airplane! 03:05 The Angelos Epithemiou Show 03:30 I'm Spazticus 03:55 Desperate Housewives 04:35 Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners 05:30 Building the Dream 06:25 Kirstie's Vintage Gems 06:35 Cycling 07:30 Trans World Sport 08:30 FIM Superbike World Championship 09:00 The Morning Line 10:00 Weekend Kitchen 11:00 Frasier 11:55 The Big Bang Theory 12:50 The Simpsons 13:45 The Tomorrow People 14:40 Channel 4 Racing 17:10 Come Dine with Me 19:40 Channel 4 News 20:05 The Restoration Man 21:00 Grand Designs 22:00 Forrest Gump

HERCULES THE HUMAN BEAR The story of Andy and Maggie Robin's relationship with a grizzly bear they bought as a cub from a zoo in Aviemore, the Highlands, initially to fulfil Andy's need for a unique wrestling partner, and which went on to become a star of TV and films. The doc umentary examines the bond that the couple and Hercules forged during their 25 years together.

04:55 This Is BBC Two

00:10 Big Brother's Bit on the Side 01:10 SuperCasino 04:10 DIY Dummies 05:00 Great Artists 05:20 HouseBusters 06:10 Wildlife SOS 06:35 Michaela's Wild Challenge 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Abby's Flying Fairy School 07:25 Bubble Guppies 07:35 The Mr Men Show 07:50 Chloe's Closet 08:05 Roobarb and Custard Too 08:10 Bananas in Pyjamas 08:25 Make Way for Noddy 08:35 City of Friends 08:55 Little Princess 09:05 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:25 Angelina Ballerina 09:40 Rupert Bear 09:55 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:15 Jelly Jamm 10:30 LazyTown 11:00 Chinese Food in Minutes 11:15 Meerkat Manor 11:45 The Dog Rescuers 12:45 Big Brother 14:10 Ghost Busters 16:15 The Green Berets 19:00 Hercules the Human Bear 20:00 Cricket 2014 21:00 5 News Weekend 21:05 The Girl with 7 Mums 22:00 Autopsy: The Last Hours Of 23:00 Big Brother

Sunday June 15 02:45 This Is BBC Two 02:30 Weatherview

07:00 This Is BBC Two

02:35 BBC News

07:05 Match of the Day: FIFA

07:00 Breakfast

World Cup Replay

10:00 The Andrew Marr Show

08:50 World Cup Films

11:00 The Big Questions

10:30 Match of the Day: FIFA

12:00 Sunday Politics

World Cup Highlights

13:15 Football Focus

11:30 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites

14:00 BBC News

13:00 Two Greedy Italians

14:10 Weather for the Week Ahead

14:00 Canoeing

14:15 Bargain Hunt

15:00 Tennis from Queen's

15:00 Homes Under the Hammer

18:30 Tropic of Cancer

16:00 Super Giant Animals

19:30 Ice Age Giants

17:00 Escape to the Country

20:30 Sea City

18:00 Points of View

21:00 I Bought a Rainforest

18:15 Lifeline

22:00 Wildfires 2014: Inside the

18:25 Songs of Praise

Inferno

19:00 BBC News; Regional News

23:00 Mock the Week

and Weather

23:30 QI XL

19:30 Countryfile 20:30 World Cup Finals 2014 23:05 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 23:30 World Cup Finals 2014

15/06 00:55 BBC2 00:55 Body Heat

00:30 Play Misty for Me 02:30 FIFA World Cup Live 2014 05:15 ITV Nightscreen 07:00 Fort Boyard Ultimate Challenge 07:25 Dino Dan: Trek's Adventures 07:50 Canimals 08:05 Sooty 08:20 Digimon Fusion 08:45 Horrid Henry 09:00 Deadtime Stories 09:25 ITV News 09:30 Weekend 10:25 May the Best House Win 11:25 Murder, She Wrote 12:20 ITV News and Weather 12:30 Love Your Garden 13:30 Long Lost Family 14:30 Nature's Newborns 15:00 Columbo: It's All in the Game 17:00 FIFA World Cup Live 2014 20:15 ITV News Meridian 20:20 ITV News and Weather 20:30 The Cube 21:30 The Suspicions of Mr Whicher 23:30 ITV News and Weather 23:44 ITV Meridian Weather 23:45 Gosford Park

HITCH Comedy starring Will Smith and Eva Mendes. Alex "Hitch" Hitchens is a professional and deliberately anonymous New York "date doctor" who helps male clients woo the women of their dreams. But his suc cess leads to trouble when tenacious gossip colum nist Sara Melas decides to unmask him.

00:45 The Beach 02:55 Hollyoaks 05:00 Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners 05:55 Deal or No Deal 06:50 The Hoobs 07:40 Marathon 08:10 VW Racing Cup 08:35 How I Met Your Mother 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 10:30 Sunday Brunch 13:30 Secret Eaters 14:30 The Big Bang Theory 16:00 The Simpsons 16:30 The First Wives Club 18:35 Deal or No Deal 19:30 Channel 4 News 20:00 Four Rooms 21:00 Born in the Wild 22:00 Fargo 23:05 The Virgin Killer

00:00 Big Brother's Bit on the Psych 01:00 SuperCasino 04:10 Gibraltar: Britain in the Sun 05:00 House Doctor 05:25 Make It Big 05:50 The Funky Valley Show 06:00 Angels of Jarm 06:10 Roary the Racing Car 06:20 Angels of Jarm 06:30 The Funky Valley Show 06:40 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Abby's Flying Fairy School 07:25 Bubble Guppies 07:35 The Mr Men Show 07:50 Chloe's Closet 08:05 Roobarb and Custard Too 08:10 Bananas in Pyjamas 08:25 Make Way for Noddy 08:35 City of Friends 08:55 Little Princess 09:05 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:25 Angelina Ballerina 09:40 Rupert Bear 09:55 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:15 Jelly Jamm 10:30 LazyTown 11:00 Power Rangers Super Samurai 11:35 Power Rangers Megaforce 12:10 Chinese Food in Minutes 12:15 The Nightmare Neighbour Next Door 13:15 Big Brother 14:10 Mannequin 15:55 Nim's Island 17:45 Hitch 20:00 Cricket 2014 21:00 Illegal Immigrant & Proud 21:55 5 News Weekend 22:00 Big Brother 23:00 The Vow

Monday June 16 02:10 Weatherview 02:15 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Crimewatch Roadshow 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Claimed and Shamed 12:30 Countryside 999 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Perfection 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 Hairy Bikers' Best of British 17:45 Flog It! Trade Secrets 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 EastEnders 20:30 World Cup Finals 2014 23:05 BBC News 23:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 23:40 World Cup Finals 2014 16/06 00:15 BBC2 00:15 Then She Found Me 01:50 Countryfile 02:50 Holby City 03:50 Match of the Day: FIFA World Cup Replay 05:35 This Is BBC Two 07:15 Homes Under the Hammer

08:15 Building Dream Homes 08:45 Brazil's Soccer Cities 08:50 Match of the Day: FIFA World Cup Highlights 09:20 Don't Get Done, Get Dom 10:05 The Planners 11:05 Real Lives Reunited 11:35 Click 12:00 BBC News 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Cash in the Attic 14:30 Breakaway 15:15 Talking Pictures 16:00 The Magnificent Showman 18:15 Antiques Roadshow 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Building Dream Homes 20:00 Antiques Road Trip 21:00 Tigers About the House 22:00 A Very British Airline 23:00 Backchat with Jack Whitehall and His Dad 23:30 Newsnight

02:15 04:00 04:50 05:15 06:05 07:00 09:30 10:25 11:30 13:30 14:30 14:55 15:00 16:00 16:59 17:00 20:10 20:15 20:30 21:00 22:00 23:00 23:30 23:35

The Store Motorsport UK ITV Nightscreen May the Best House Win The Jeremy Kyle Show Good Morning Britain Lorraine The Jeremy Kyle Show This Morning Loose Women ITV News and Weather ITV News Meridian 60 Minute Makeover Dickinson's Real Deal ITV Meridian Weather FIFA World Cup Live 2014 ITV News Meridian ITV News and Weather Emmerdale Coronation Street The Dentists ITV News at Ten and Weather ITV News Meridian The Grudge 2

00:10 01:50 03:35 04:35 04:50 05:45 06:05 07:00 07:45 08:10 08:35 09:00 10:00 11:00 12:00 13:00 13:05 14:40 Away 15:40 16:30 17:30 18:30 19:30 20:00 21:00 21:30 22:00 23:00

The Happening The Escapist Utopia The Birthday Building the Dream SuperScrimpers Deal or No Deal Countdown According to Jim 3rd Rock from the Sun The King of Queens Everybody Loves Raymond Frasier Undercover Boss Canada Come Dine with Me Channel 4 News Summary Come Dine with Me A Place in the Sun: Home or Countdown Deal or No Deal Come Dine with Me The Simpsons Hollyoaks Channel 4 News Dispatches Jamie's Money Saving Meals 24 Hours in A&E CCTV: Caught on Camera

TIGERS ABOUT THE HOUSE New series. Documentary following zookeeper Giles Clark as he handrears Sumatran tiger cubs Spot and Stripe, which were born at the Australia Zoo in Queensland and are one of the most critical ly endangered species on earth. To help give them the best start and ensure their survival, Giles takes them home to live with his boisterous family and gives them roundtheclock care for the first four months of their lives.

01:05 Hercules the Human Bear 02:00 SuperCasino 04:10 Classic Car Rescue 05:00 House Doctor 05:25 Make It Big 05:50 The Funky Valley Show 06:00 Angels of Jarm 06:10 Roary the Racing Car 06:20 Angels of Jarm 06:30 The Funky Valley Show 06:40 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 08:00 Pip Ahoy! 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Little Princess 09:10 Milkshake! Bop Box 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:30 Milkshake! Monkey 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Cowboy Builders 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 Thicker than Water 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:25 Access 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 Cricket 2014 21:00 Angry Britain 22:00 Benefits Britain: Life on the Dole 23:00 Big Brother

Tuesday June 17 02:10 Weatherview 02:15 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Crimewatch Roadshow 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Claimed and Shamed 12:30 Countryside 999 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Perfection 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 Hairy Bikers' Best of British 17:45 Flog It! Trade Secrets 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 EastEnders 20:30 World Cup Finals 2014 23:05 BBC News 23:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 23:40 World Cup Finals 2014 17/06 00:20 BBC2 00:20 Wildfires 2014: Inside the Inferno 01:20 Watermen: A Dirty Business 02:20 Match of the Day: FIFA World Cup Replay 04:05 This Is BBC Two 05:00 The Plantagenets 05:30 Arena: The National Theatre

06:00 Schools: 3, 2, 1 Go! Key Stage 1 06:55 Schools Wonders of Nature: Flamingo Courtship Spectacle 07:00 This Is BBC Two 07:15 Homes Under the Hammer 08:15 Building Dream Homes 08:45 Brazil's Soccer Cities 08:50 Match of the Day: FIFA World Cup Highlights 09:20 Don't Get Done, Get Dom 10:05 Watchdog 11:05 Watchdog Test House 11:35 HARDtalk 12:00 BBC News 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Tennis from Eastbourne 18:15 Antiques Roadshow 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Building Dream Homes 20:00 Antiques Road Trip 21:00 Tigers About the House 22:00 Horizon 23:00 The Culture Show 23:30 Newsnight

01:30 Jackpot247 04:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 04:40 ITV Nightscreen 05:15 May the Best House Win 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV News Meridian 15:00 60 Minute Makeover 16:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 FIFA World Cup Live 2014 20:10 ITV News Meridian 20:15 ITV News and Weather 20:30 Emmerdale 21:00 Endeavour 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV News Meridian 23:35 Rambo: First Blood, Part II

HORIZON The inside story of the search for Malaysia Airlines Flight MH 370, which vanished on March 8 while en route from Kuala Lumpur to Beijing. The film reveals how the Boeing 777 disappeared in a radar blind spot and what investigators believe hap pened to the aircraft in its last minutes, and hears from the British satellite engineers who tracked the plane's final hours.

00:00 Bouncers 01:05 Alan Carr: Chatty Man 02:00 Fargo 03:00 Scandal 03:50 The Audience 04:45 Beat My Build 05:40 Food Unwrapped 06:05 Deal or No Deal 07:00 Countdown 07:45 According to Jim 08:10 3rd Rock from the Sun 08:35 The King of Queens 09:00 The Morning Line 10:00 Frasier 11:00 Undercover Boss Canada 12:00 Come Dine with Me 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Come Dine with Me 14:40 Channel 4 Racing 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 Location, Location, Location 22:00 The Auction House 23:00 Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares USA 23:55 Coppers

00:00 Big Brother's Bit on the Side 01:00 Under the Dome 01:55 SuperCasino 04:05 The Girl with 7 Mums 04:55 Great Artists 05:20 HouseBusters 06:10 House Doctor 06:35 Michaela's Wild Challenge 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 08:00 Pip Ahoy! 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Little Princess 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Cowboy Builders 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 Safe Harbor 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 Gibraltar: Britain in the Sun 21:00 The Dog Rescuers 22:00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 23:00 Big Brother

Wednesday June 18 02:10 Weatherview 02:15 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Crimewatch Roadshow 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Claimed and Shamed 12:30 Countryside 999 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Perfection 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 The Hairy Bikers' Bakeation 17:45 Flog It! Trade Secrets 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 EastEnders 20:30 World Cup Finals 2014 23:05 BBC News 23:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 23:40 The Trouble with Mobility Scooters

00:20 A Very British Airline 01:20 The Super League Show 02:05 Welcome to Rio 03:05 Match of the Day: FIFA World Cup Replay 04:50 This Is BBC Two 05:00 Schools Just a Few Drinks 05:30 Growing Up Poor 06:00 Schools Little Alien 06:15 Jirka and the White Mice

06:30 Schools William Whiskerson: Canal 06:40 Schools William Whiskerson: Forest 06:50 Schools William Whiskerson: Cave 07:00 This Is BBC Two 07:05 Homes Under the Hammer 08:05 Building Dream Homes 08:35 Match of the Day: FIFA World Cup Highlights 09:05 Don't Get Done, Get Dom 09:50 Natural World 10:50 Watchdog Test House 11:20 Lifeline 11:30 See Hear 12:00 BBC News 12:30 Daily Politics 14:00 Tennis from Eastbourne 18:15 Antiques Roadshow 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Building Dream Homes 20:00 Antiques Road Trip 21:00 Tigers About the House 22:00 Coast 22:10 Coast Australia 23:00 Episodes 23:30 Newsnight

01:25 04:00 04:45 05:15 06:05 07:00 09:30 10:25 11:30 13:30 14:30 14:55 15:00 16:00 16:59 17:00 20:10 20:15 20:30 21:00 22:00 23:00 23:25 23:35

Jackpot247 Loose Women ITV Nightscreen May the Best House Win The Jeremy Kyle Show Good Morning Britain Lorraine The Jeremy Kyle Show This Morning Loose Women ITV News and Weather ITV News Meridian 60 Minute Makeover Dickinson's Real Deal ITV Meridian Weather FIFA World Cup Live 2014 ITV News Meridian ITV News and Weather Coronation Street All Star Mr & Mrs Benidorm ITV News at Ten and Weather ITV News Meridian FIFA World Cup Live 2014

01:00 Channel 4 Racing 01:30 Poker 02:30 KOTV Boxing Weekly 03:00 Trans World Sport 03:55 VW Racing Cup 04:25 FIM Superbike World Championship 04:50 Marathon 05:20 Cycling 06:15 SuperScrimpers 06:20 Hugh's 3 Good Things 06:50 Deal or No Deal 07:45 According to Jim 08:10 3rd Rock from the Sun 08:35 The King of Queens 09:00 The Morning Line 10:00 Frasier 11:00 Undercover Boss Canada 12:00 Come Dine with Me 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Come Dine with Me 14:40 Channel 4 Racing 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 Mary's Silver Service 22:00 One Born Every Minute 23:00 My Last Summer

THE 16-YEAR-OLD BABY Documentary looking at the life of Brooke Greenberg, who stopped growing and ageing when she was five owing to a condition so rare that doctors named it Syndrome X. No one knows why she failed to develop, but academics now believe that her genes may offer a new insight into the ageing process.

00:00 Big Brother's Bit on the Side 01:00 SuperCasino 03:55 Autopsy: The Last Hours Of 04:45 Great Artists 05:15 HouseBusters 06:05 House Doctor 06:35 Michaela's Wild Challenge 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 08:00 Pip Ahoy! 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Little Princess 09:10 Milkshake! Bop Box 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:30 Milkshake! Monkey 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Cowboy Builders 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:10 Summer Solstice 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 Police Interceptors 21:00 The 16yearold Baby 22:00 My Violent Child 23:00 Big Brother

Thursday June 19 00:30 Room 101 Extra Storage 01:10 Weatherview 01:15 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Crimewatch Roadshow 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Claimed and Shamed 12:30 Countryside 999 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Perfection 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 Flog It! 17:30 World Cup Finals 2014 20:05 Weather 20:05 BBC News 20:30 BBC London News 21:00 Holby City 22:00 Celebrity MasterChef 23:00 BBC News 23:25 BBC Regional News and Weather 23:35 World Cup Finals 2014

00:20 01:20 01:50 02:05 World 03:50 05:00

Horizon See Hear This Is BBC Two Match of the Day: FIFA Cup Replay This Is BBC Two Ask Lara

06:00 Schools The Modern Monarchy 07:00 This Is BBC Two 07:15 Homes Under the Hammer 08:15 Building Dream Homes 08:45 Brazil's Soccer Cities 08:50 Match of the Day: FIFA World Cup Highlights 09:20 Don't Get Done, Get Dom 10:05 Escape to the Continent 11:05 Gardeners' World 11:35 HARDtalk 12:00 BBC News 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Tennis from Eastbourne 18:15 Pointless Celebrities 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Building Dream Homes 20:00 Antiques Road Trip 21:00 Nature's Weirdest Events 22:00 Fostering & Me with Lorraine Pascale 23:00 Mock the Week 23:30 Newsnight

02:15 Jackpot247 03:30 British Touring Car Championship 04:45 ITV Nightscreen 05:15 May the Best House Win 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV News Meridian 15:00 60 Minute Makeover 16:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 FIFA World Cup Live 2014 23:30 ITV News and Weather

FIFA WORLD CUP LIVE 2014 Uruguay v England (Kickoff 9.00pm). All the action from the eagerly awaited Group D fixture at the Arena de Sao Paulo, as both sides play their second match of the tournament. While this may not official ly be the Group of Death, the draw in December did little to breathe life into England's campaign, as Roy Hodgson's men were handed this clash with the South Americans to follow their opener against Italy.

00:00 CCTV: Caught on Camera 01:00 Channel 4 Racing 01:35 Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares USA 03:20 The Hindenburg 05:25 Beat My Build 06:20 Hugh's 3 Good Things 06:50 How I Met Your Mother 07:40 According to Jim 08:05 3rd Rock from the Sun 08:30 The King of Queens 09:00 The Morning Line 10:00 Frasier 11:00 Undercover Boss Canada 12:00 Come Dine with Me 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Come Dine with Me 14:40 Channel 4 Racing 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 George Clarke's Amazing Spaces 22:00 Grand Designs 23:00 Terminator 2: Judgment Day

00:00 Big Brother's Bit on the Side 01:00 Under the Dome 01:55 SuperCasino 04:05 Eddie Stobart: Trucks and Trailers 04:55 Great Artists 05:20 HouseBusters 06:10 House Doctor 06:35 Michaela's Wild Challenge 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 08:00 Pip Ahoy! 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Little Princess 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Cowboy Builders 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:10 Summer Solstice 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 Can't Pay? We'll Take It Away! 21:00 The Nightmare Neighbour Next Door 22:00 Trauma Doctors 23:00 Big Brother

Friday, June 13, 2014

AUCTIONS

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CHURCH SERVICES International Christian Assembly, Calle Pilar de Horadada 5, Torrevieja. Evangelical nondenomina tional church. Sunday serv ices 11am. Children's

BARBER

ALARMS

church 11am. House groups in Torrevieja, Los Balcones, San Javier. Ladies meeting Thursdays 11am. Craft club, Tuesdays, 2pm. Pastor, Rafael Restrepo. All nation alities welcome. Call 966 799 273 or 660 127 276. Pilar Christian Community Church Calle Canalejas 3. Pilar de la Horadada. Sunday Service at 11am, and Thursday at 5pm for Prayer and Praise and Worship. Home groups meet during the week. All welcome from any church background or none. For further information contact PilarChristian.CommunityC hurch@gmail.com 968575417 or 966848806. Reg No:2009SG/A The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (Mormons) meet at 10.00 each Sunday at their Torrevieja meetinghouse in the Torreaguas building on the corner of Rambla Juan Mateo Garcia 104, close to the windmill in Torrevieja, 667 533 597. The rainbow centre for spiri tual awareness. We meet in the function room at Sacos bar el Liminar just off the CV 905 Rojales Torrevieja road.

We have a divine service every Sunday at 11am and on Wednesdays we hold an evening of clairvoyance at 7.30 pm. Also there is an open circle held every wed evening at 5.30 pm for any one interested in clairvoy ance. Healing is available by trained and certified healers after each meeting a warm welcome to friends old and new. The mediums for May 2014 are Sunday 4th Jacqueline Holland hunt. Wed 7th David Darnbourgh. Sunday 11th Ray Bailey Wed 14th Debie Blevins. Sunday 18th Morag Bullock Wed 21st Morag Bullock. Sunday 25th Anna Marie Wed 28th Jimmy McArthur

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PROPERTY FOR RENT Viva Villa and Vacation Services, For Short or Long Term Rentals visit: www.vil laandvacation.com or Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Santiago de la Ribera 2 bed room townhouse close to beach and shops with com munal pool €350 monthly short or long term lease Call 0044 7890996330 968570645 (162) Ref: 61, A lovely two bed roomed ground floor apart ment, located in the centre of the small Spanish town of Los Montesinos, With a pleasant communal swim ming pool adjacent & all amenities in walking dis tance. Long and short term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

Ref: 112, Spacious 3 bed room detached villa with its private pool is located on the El Raso urbanisation near Guardamar. Convenient for all amenities, shops, super market, restaurants and bars. Short term rental avail able. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

LONG TERM RENTALS WANTED! Properties, all types, in the Torrevieja area wanted for long term rentals. Call us on 96 692 3963 2 or 3 bed / 2 bath apart ments in San Miguel. Lift, communal rooftop pool & solarium, video entry sys tem. Available for short or long term rent from 350 pcm. Tel 966723437 or 616 493 487. (184)

PROPERTY FOR SALE Ref: KP3100, €183,000. Three bedroom, two bath

CAR BREAKERS

room detached villa, located in San Luis, on a 450sqm plot, with communal pool. Garage to side of house. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Opportunity to purchase at the off plan price of 195.000 euros. Large 4 Bed, 3 Bath Brand new property. Secure underground parking for 2 cars and communal pool. Situated opposite Gran Alacant and over looks pro jected golf course. Ref No. K52. 627 711 155 Rare opportunity to pur chase on Mediterrania III, Gran Alacant. 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, Private Parking, F/Furnished, Large communal pools & Tennis courts S/W facing, Dramatically reduced for quick sale to 126.000 euros. Ref No. K58 Call 627 711 155 for immediate viewing Lovely Corner property in Novamar V, Gran Alacant. 2 bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms Being sold fully furnished including appliances, Has secure underground parking and faces large oasis com

munal pool. Walking dis tance to beach. 139.000 Euros, Call 627 711 155 and quote Ref No. K10 Don Pueblo, Gran Alacant. 3 Bedrooms, 3 Bathrooms, Large Kitchen with Galleria, Secure underground park ing, Gas Central Heating, Glazed in Porch, Solarium with stunning views. Viewings absolutely essen tial. Very large property at reduced price of 190.000 euros. Ref No. K38 Call 627 711 155 Immaculate ground floor Duplex, 2 beds, 2 bath, Private Parking, Situated in Novamar, Gran Alacant. Price includes very tasteful furniture and white goods. Walking distance to all local amenities and beach. Now only 129,750 euros. Ref No K24. 627 711 155 2 Bed, 1 Bath Ground floor duplex. Central heating, Grills, Fully furnished, Glazed in Galleria, 2 com munal pools, private parking and walking distance to the Gran Alacant commercial centre. Situated in the popu

lar urbanisation of Puerto Marino. Now only 96,500 euros for quick sale Ref No. K46. 627 711 155 Recently reduced 4 Bed, 3 Bath Villa, in Gran Alacant. Quiet Location, Exceptional Views. Converted Under build, 2 Lounges, 2 Kitchens, Private Garage and being sold Fully Furnished, now only 239.950 Ref: L81 Tel. 680333242 Gran Alacant Detached villa, located in a very sought after location.Situated on a 560m2 S/W facing plot and constructed in 2005. Comprising of 3 bedrooms,

3 bathrooms (2 full baths), LoungeDiner, fully equipped Kitchen, Porch and Solarium with Alicante & Sea Views. ref.L81. €258,000 neg. Tel. 680333242 Gran Alacant Town House with a difference. 2 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, Glazed in Porch, Quiet Location, Extra storage areas, and South Facing Private Pool as well as 2 communal pools. Fully Furnished, All mod cons. Greenland Views and all local amenities close by. Ref. No L79. 179.000 euros 680 333 242

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Friday, June 13, 2014

2 Bedroom, 2 Bathroom, Unfurnished Mid Terraced Townhouse in GA. Recently decorated throughout means this property is a very clean black canvass. Has AirCon & Security Grills and the use of a Communal Pool. Price recently reduced to 110.000e Ref.K12 Tel. 627711155 Reduced for a quick sale to 95.000 e 2 Bedroom, 1 bath room, Top Floor Duplex in Gran Alacant. Very Modern Property with Many extras. Glazed in Porch, Roof Top

Solarium, Wooden Flooring. Immaculate condition and ready to move in. Ref. K15 Tel. 627711155. Gran Alacant, Situated in the "Alto" part of Gran Alacant, this 3 bedroomed, 4th floor apartment, offers luxury accommodation, with absolutely stunning sea views, as well as views of Alicante bay and the famous Santa Barbara Castle.The apartment is 89 square meters with open plan kitchen / living room and includes all electrical appli ances & furniture also there

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is a utility room, open ter race, and private parking. The urbanisation also offers many communal pools, ten nis courts, restaurants and bars. Ref. K20 €109,000 Tel 680333242 Viva Villa and Vacation Services are pleased to offer property sales for the Torrevieja and Oriheula areas of the Costa Blanca, Spain. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 or Visit : www.villaandvacation.com Gran Alacant villa located in a very quiet area , situated at the end of a culdesac means there is no through traffic.3 bed, 3 bath, 330m2 plot, established large gar dens, working fireplace, solar panel for hot water,pri vate parking, south facing great views, fully furnished, fantastic opportunity. ref. L85. €215,000 Tel 680333242 Beach front Line property, over looks Carabassi Beach, Gran Alacant. 2 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, Secure Underground Parking, Fully furnished, Roof Top Solarium. 3 Large Communal Pools, Fantastic

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communal Gardens, Tennis Courts and much more. 125.000 Euros Ref No. K23. Tel. 627 711 155 Lovely clean detached Villa just as you enter Gran Alacant. Very central loca tion, 3 Bedrooms, 3 Bathrooms, Glazed in Porch, Garden Shed, Private Parking, Attractive Gardens, Private pool Ref: K59 240.000e Tel. 627711155 Offers Invited on a mid Terraced Town house in Gran Alacant. Comprising of 3 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, Lounge Diner, Galleria, Solarium, Under build. Communal Pool and Gardens, and with Exceptional Views of Alicante. Being Sold Fully Furnished including White Goods. Ref. K42 Tel. 627711155 (reasonable offers only) Gran Alacant, Situated on the very first urbanisation as you enter Gran Alacant, this 2nd floor duplex offers taste and quality. Comprising of 2 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, loungediner, independent kitchen, full rooftop solari um with superb views and recently glazed in porch offering extra living area as well as extra privacy as the glass is mirrored. Ref.K44 €108,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant southfacing, very private villa, with wood land and Alicante views. Situated at the end of a small culdesac which means this villa enjoys a very peaceful location.3

Bedrooms with fitted wardrobes, 3 Bathrooms, loungediner with working fireplace, fully fitted kitchen with including white goods, large front porch, solarium,workshop and stor age in under build, central heating, air con H/C, ceiling fans, grills, UK T.V, off road parking and plenty of out side parking also. Due to its orientation of this property enjoys full sun, all day, something very important in the winter months. Ref.K24. €237,000 Tel 680333242

QUIZZES Experienced quiz master/question setter with personality available to host quiz nights in local bars. Tel: 664 838 581

SITUATIONS VACANT RADIO COSTA INTERNA TIONAL needs motivated sellers. Spanish, English and German language is a bonus but not essential. Training and good earnings guaranteed. For more info call 644 126 600 or email info@radicocostainterna tional.com Situations Vacant. Top Chef Required for The Med Bistro Bar, Guardamar. Excellent package and incentives. Tel. 0044 7917 1658 65 or email: andysteve@aol.com (168) JOVAL ACCESIBILIDAD, an accessibility solutions com pany, is looking for a com mercial to promote and sell their products throughout the province of Alicante. English and Spanish is essential. To make an appointment call 966 090 762. (174)

SOLICITORS Need English speaking solicitors in Torrevieja? Let us help to solve your problems with debt recov ery, divorce, property, fraud, criminal defence. Call us on 966 923 963, give us brief details and get in touch with your specialist solicitor today

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SITUATIONS WANTED Gardening, property mainte nance, translations, cheap rates call David 722521654.

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Friday, June 13, 2014

Greenside Gossip TO FIX, OR NOT TO FIX IVIE DAVIES takes a weekly look at the golf scene - golfdavies@gmail.com

Though they may be very close to the same surface, the fringe and the green are two very different places. This is especially true when you begin talking about the rules that apply to each location. Specifically, the rules that apply to what you can and cannot do when your ball is on the green or on the fringe. Fixing a ball mark just seems like it is always the right thing to do. After all, we have all suffered the consequences of playing on greens where people seem to always forget to fix their ball marks. They leave nasty scars that can take weeks to heal. However, before you bend down to fix a ball mark, you need to make sure that you are doing it in a legal fashion. If your ball is not yet on the green, you are not allowed to fix any ball mark or pitch mark that is anywhere other than on the green. For example, if you end up on the fringe and there is a ball mark on the fringe that is in your line, you may not fix it. However, if the ball mark is on the green, then you are entitled to fix it. In fact, any ball mark that is on the green can always be fixed. But, be very careful, you have to make sure that the mark is indeed a ball mark. As per rule 161c, the only other damage that you can fix is damage from an old hole plug. If the damage is caused by anything else, like spikes, a slammed club, or just a random scar, you may not attempt to repair it until you have finished the hole. Ball marks off the putting surface may be fixed before the completion of the hole, but only after your ball has made it to the green. So, if you land your approach shot in the fringe and your ball ends up right behind your ball mark, don’t touch it! Hit your chip shot and then, only after your ball has come to rest on the green, should you go back and fix the ball mark in the fringe. If you do violate this rule, the penalty is two strokes. Quite a hefty consequence for a com mon courtesy! Another big difference between your ball lying in the fringe or on the green is whether or not you can mark your ball. On the green, you may mark and clean your ball at any time. On the fringe, however, you may only mark your ball if you are requested to do so by an opponent. Rule 222 states that, if you are off the green, you cannot just lift your ball because you think it is in someone’s way, you must be requested to do so. And, if you are asked to lift your ball, you may not clean it. You must lift it and replace it exactly as it lay prior to

being marked. If you lift your ball when it lies off the putting surface without the action being requested by another play er, your penalty is one stroke in accordance with rule 182a. Now, once your ball is marked, you may think that the rulings stop, but they don’t. In fact, it actually gets a little more com plicated. I’ll do my best to simplify the many different scenar ios and decisions that involve ball markers. Basically, your ball marker may be intentionally moved only if it is in the line of another player and they request for it to be moved. Accidental movement of your ball marker is without penalty if the movement is a result of the moving of loose impedi ments or in the act of measuring your ball. Also, if your ball marker is moved during the act of marking the ball, it is with out penalty. This is important because tapping down your ball marker with your putter is considered to be part of the act of marking. So, if you tap down your marker and it moves or sticks to your putter, you are not subject to penalty. However, if your marker moves in any of these situations, it must be returned to its original location. If a player replaces his ball without relocating his marker to the original spot and then plays from an incorrect position, he is subject to penalty under rule 20 7. If the marker is moved outside of one of the given excep tions, he is subject to penalty under rule 201 or 182 depending on the cause of the motion. Marking your ball seems like a simple act, but don’t let your guard down just because your ball is in your pocket. Although the situations become complicated and difficult to interpret, moving your marker can result in a costly penalty. If you want to have some fun, you can begin to read some of the crazy rulings and decisions that apply to ball markers. You may be surprised how easy it can be to break the rules when you’re on or around the green!

“PIZZA-SIZED” GOLF HOLES ARE A JOKE If you take the fear of missing humiliatingly short putts out of golf, you take its soul. Oh dear, oh dear. Americans just don’t get it, do they? From the land of the winner, where los ing is for wimps, comes news of one of the silliest ideas in years – expanding the size of golf holes from the traditional four and a quarter inches to fifteen inches, the width of a pizza.

TITTER ON THE TEE Enid sat at her husband’s hospital bedside, watching him slowly regain consciousness as the effects of a strong anesthetic wore off. Slowly his eye’s fluttered open and seeing his wife’s anx ious face, he murmured. “You’re beautiful”. An hour later the man’s eyes open again, and he said, “You look nice”. “What happened to beautiful, then?” “The drugs are wearing off”, came the frail reply.

Golf, it seems, is becoming less popular in the States, with the “difficulty” of the game cited as one of the main reasons. You can see what’s happened. Kids have a few lessons, learn to spank the ball 200 yards down the fairway, and then wonder why they end up shooting 40 over par! Answer: because they drop so many shots on the greens, trying to find the bottom of those fiddly little cups. So if you expand the cups… It is the logic of the madhouse but, incredibly, 15in holes are being installed at about 100 courses across the US as part of a pilot scheme. This follows an event in Georgia earlier this month at which the larger holes were used. Those taking part included the European Ryder Cup star Sergio Garcia, who thought they might speed up play and appeal to younger players. Garcia is one of the most likeable sports men around. He has never won a Major, but he would have had the 2007 Open at Carnoustie if his 10ft putt on the final hole had not lipped out, so he has more cause than most to rue the size of the hole which the Royal and Ancient Golf Club set as standard in 1893. But he must know in his heart that, if you take the fear of missing humiliatingly short putts out of golf, you take away its soul. Like every golfer who has ever played the game, I have found myself standing knockkneed over putts so short that a grasshopper could have pushed the ball into the hole – then missed, as my heart started pounding and my hands shaking. The yips, as golfers know them, have affected far better players than me, including top professionals such as Bernhard Langer. They are golf’s equivalent of the emotional paralysis that grips a footballer when he steps up to take a penalty in the shootout on which his nation’s hopes are rid ing. Cruel, yes! But in the mixture of professional sport, a necessary cruelty.

KNOW YOUR RULES QUESTION A player addresses his ball lying in high grass on a steep bank. His ball does not move, but the player believes it will move if he takes a backswing. Accordingly, the player holds the club with his left hand and strikes the shaft of the club with his right hand, thereby moving the ball. Is this permissi ble? ANSWER No. The player pushed the ball, contrary to Rule 141.

Friday, June 13, 2014

ZIDANE COMMITS

ELCHE EXITS

Real Madrid assistant manager, Zinedine Zidane is staying at the club despite over tures from his former club, Bordeaux to become their boss. The former French inter national took to the field last weekend in a charity match against the Inter Milan legends and following the match, and then pledged his future to the Champions League winners. “For the moment, I’m here. I will continue here at Real Madrid. We’ll see what hap pens. I’m enjoying the experience [of man

Elche have let three players go as they continue to sort out their squad for next sea aging]. It’s like playing, but I’m enjoying.” son. Midfielder, Sergio Mantecón (pictured), For his part, Bordeaux president, Jean has not had his contract renewed after Louis Triaud admitted that there were nego three seasons with the club. He made just tiations, but Zidane chose to spend another twelve appearances in La Liga and one in year working under Carlo Ancelotti. the Copa del Rey, with the 33 year old most “I won’t deny that we had numerous con likely set for a return to the Segunda, tacts, but unfortunately, we couldn’t reach depending on the offers he receives this an agreement. He is committed to Real summer. Madrid and we can’t forget that his family is Attacking midfielder Javi Flores, who very comfortable after living there for 11 years.”

spent two seasons with the club, has also been released along with central midfielder Alberto Rivera. All three players were instru mental in helping the team gain promotion to the Primera and stay there last season, but the club are now keen to improve the overall quality of their squad, hoping for a more comfortable campaign ahead of the new season, with Victor Orta having been appointed as their sporting director a fort night ago.

Barcelona has signed a contract exten sion with their Argentinian midfielder Javier Mascherano which will keep him at the club until 2018. Barcelona said that its agreement with the 30year old former Liverpool and Corinthians player will mean

him keeping his buyout clause fixed at 100 million euros. Mascherano joined Barcelona from Liverpool in 2010 and under former coach Pep Guardiola moved from his natural midfield role to central defence.

Elche, after joining them in the summer of 2010. Meanwhile, striker Cristian Herrera has had his contract extended by two years which will keep him at Elche until 2019. The 23 year old scored 3 goals in the last Primera division campaign.

JAVIER STAYS

SERGIO’S DEAL

Elche’s veteran defender, Sergio Pelegrin, has put pen to paper and signed a one year contract extension with the club. The deal for the 35 year old was announced a fortnight ago, but was sealed this week, which means that he’ll be spending a fifth season with

KING RAFA’S WIMBLEDON FOCUS

Rafael Nadal is determined to make an impact at Wimbledon again after winning his ninth French Open title last Sunday. The 28 year old from Mallorca beat Novak Djokovic 36 75 62 64 to win for a record fifth successive time at Roland Garros. Nadal is now focused on making up for last year's firstround defeat at the All England Club, when the tournament starts on Monday June 23rd. "I want to try to play well again in Wimbledon," he said. "I'm healthy. That's the most important thing." Nadal struggled with the switch from clay to grass last year as he was on the way back from seven months out with a knee injury. He made a shock firstround exit against world number 135 Steve Darcis of Belgium, and it is now four years since he won his second Wimbledon title. "I hope my knee will have the positive feeling on grass, because I feel my knee is better than last year on the rest of the surfaces," he said. Nadal has now won 14 Grand Slam titles, three behind Roger Federer's record total, but refuses to target the Swiss player's mark. "We will see when I finish my career how many Grand Slams I have or if I win four, three, or five in a row," he said. "The most important thing today is I won the most important tournament of the world on clay, probably the most important tournament of the year for me."

Friday, June 13, 2014

IN ROY WE TRUST BUT WILL THE ALMIGHTY DELIVER? I, for one, am delighted we’ve got a true blue Englishman, no Fabs, no Svens at the helm of the country’s football for the 2014 finals of the World Cup (all Celts please note). Apart from his brief tenmonth blip at Liverpool, Roy Hodgson has consistently done well in recent at Premier League clubs and previously other countries level, now at last moving successfully into the hottest seat in English football with the nation behind him for once. Decent, dignified, experienced football Englishmen in his position have suf fered dog’s abuse previously from both fans and more hurtfully and viciously the British press: think Alf Ramsey and Bobby Robson. There’s just nowhere to hide, it could be said the job is a poisoned chalice and you have to be ‘poco loco’ to take it: is our Roy? Not a great deal is known about 66 year old Roy Hodgson’s foreign credentials for looking after our national treasures, but on further examination his continental CV is long and impressive. Not a huge success as a player domestically, Roy moved into coaching in Sweden at the age of 29, and did well as he learnt his craft. A brief spell at cashstrapped Bristol City didn’t last long, but this was followed by another highlysuc cessful period in Sweden where Hodgson took Malmo to five glorious years as cham pions of the country, there travelling and learning about Europe whilst teaming up well with another welltravelled Englishman Bob Houghton. Switzerland was the next port of call, first at club level, and then in 1992 Roy became

national team manager. Two years later our man guided the nation to their first World Cup finals since 1966, then qualifying from their initial group before being knocked out by eventual finalists Spain. Euro 96 was similarly successful for Switzerland, but one of the world’s biggies in club football lured Hodgson back. Mighty Inter Milan, unhappy and unsuccessful when he arrived, were soon guided back to third place in Serie A with England International Paul Ince playing for Roy. In the 1997 EUFA Cup Final, Inter lost to Schalke 94 on penalties, and to show the volatility of the job Hodgson was pelted with coins and cigarette lighters by the ungrateful Italian fans. He left Milan and came home to problematical Blackburn Rovers which although ultimately unsuc

cessful, saw a time when Roy was fancied to take over England. While the continental CV looked perfect his ultimate sacking by Blackburn tarnished his reputation and Kevin Keegan succeeded Glen Hoddle for England. Roy returned to Inter Milan, then on to Grasshoppers of Zurich and Switzerland, whilst once again missing out on the England job, this time courtesy of Sven Goran Eriksson. Running the national side of the United Arab Emirates became Roy’s responsibility in 2002, before long marching on to Norway and Finland before arriving home in 2007, somewhat unexpectedly at struggling Fulham. Just avoiding relegation in his first season Fulham climbed to sev enth the following year, a remarkable turn around and Hodgson was back in the big time of the Premier League, ably supported by his experienced righthand man and friend Ray Lewington. Miracles were begin ning to happen… Norwegian defender Brege Hangeland came to the club, and proved a major suc cess at the Cottage over the next five years, as did goalkeeper Mark Schwarzer. Chris Smalling came through the ranks and was sold to Man United for £12m, and Bobby Zamora was a huge success while more England rumours of Roy replacing Fabio Capello still came to nothing again. Unbelievably in 2010, Fulham reached the Europa League final, their firstever conti nental success only to narrowly lose, but only just to Atletico Madrid and their star Diego Forlan. The recognition of this feat

meant the Englishman at Fulham’s helm was voted manager of the year. Liverpool had just dispensed with Rafa Benitez’ services but the new tenure at Anfield was not right: the great Merseyside club was up for sale and needed rebuilding, with Kenny Dalglish wanted back by most Liverpool fans. In less than a year Roy moved on to more modest West Bromwich, and following a period of astute key signings and intense hard work as usual Hodgson ‘did a Fulham’ and turned the frugal Midland club back into contention in the Premier League. This performance again earned Hodgson his deserved reputation as a man who really knows football, guiding the home spun Baggies to a highly respectable tenth place. At last in 2012 the timing was right when England called as Fabio Capello went, and although the popular vote was for Tottenham’s Harry Redknapp, the FA’s was n’t. At very long last, Roy Hodgson took over as England’s national team manager on a fouryear contract. Mr Nice Guy, as every one who has worked with him and under him knows the man finally got there. Soon his meticulous preparation, fortunately for us aided manfully by his Fulham friend Ray Lewington ensured England qualified for the 2014 World Cup from a strong group. In Roy Hodgson’s managerial career of almost 1,000 matches spanning 38 years his record shows an impressive 43.2% win rate, 30% draws and only 26% losses, a testament to his skill and vast experience. The nation is behind you, Roy good luck!

ROBINSON’S TOP GIG By Andrew Atkinson

The familiar vocal strains of the former Irish football inter national, Michael Robinson are again hitting Spanish TV’s coverage of the World Cup, which kicked off in Brazil last night. Spain start their defence this evening against the Dutch who they beat in the 2010 final, and behind the sum mariser’s microphone will be Spain’s top tv football pundit who played for my home town (now City) club Preston North End during the seventies. “I was lucky as I joined a club steeped in history it was the greatest baptism and I have every reason in the world to thank Preston," said Robinson. Born in Leicester, Robinson, 55, anchors his show Informe Robinson for satel lite channel Canal Plus, and is in Brazil as a leading pundit for the channel’s shared coverage with Cuatro and Telecinco, as well as lending his experience to some of the US coverage of the tournament. "While at Preston I used to spend most of my time in the grocery store across the road from the players entrance getting cans of pop,” said Robinson. I know that shop well, as I too spent many hours in there autographhunting as a teenager. Robinson departed

Deepdale in 1979, after five years with The Lilywhites, in a move to Manchester City, when signed by Blues boss, the flamboyant Malcolm Allison. After a year at City. Robinson joined Brighton, then moved to Liverpool in 1983, prior to switching to Queens Park Rangers and onto Spanish club Osasuna in 1987. "When I retired in 1989 I went back to England but within two months I missed Spain. I was fortunate to get an oppor tunity to come back working on tv ," said Robinson. During his career he won 'The Treble' at Liverpool, being the

League title, League Cup and European Cup in the eighties. “As a kid I was a Liverpool fan and in my first season at Liverpool won the treble," he added. The former Republic of Ireland international striker played the last three seasons of his career in Spain with Osasuna. Upon arriving in Pamplona, when joining the club, Robinson said: “When I got to Spain, all I knew was gracias, hola and adios! I was often sent to the bar to ask for ‘five sons of a prostitute’ which is one of the most offensive words you can say. But they knew I was English and it was all taken in good humour." Robinson touched on the crisis felt in Spain during recent years: “With the austerity measures and the economy, it has been different. A lot has changed, after Franco, with the youngsters all living a better life than their parents.” His first taste of action behind the microphone was working at Italia 90 for the state TVE channel, before working for commercial networks in the country. Spanish hopes are still high to retain the World Cup, and Robinson sums up the mentality perfectly: “In Spain, foot ball is an excuse to be happy, with the Spanish saving up their money to go to watch matches”.

Friday, June 13, 2014

ENGLAND EXPECTS…

EVERY MAN TO ROY-ALLY DO HIS DUTY!

John McGregor reports

Right, lads – who’s over the top first to sort out the eyties? OK, we’re all agreed the defence picks itself: Joe Hart, Glen Johnson, Phil Jagielka, Gary Cahill and Leighton Baines. Just in front of ‘em captain courageous Steven Gerrard makes six, that’s over halfway. Daniel Sturridge must play upfront, the Peru goal shows the Liverpool striker is in the form of his life. Now then, we come to the slightly arguable area of the creative mid field and ahead: seven down, four

places to go. The Big Issue: is this the ‘Cometh the hour, cometh the man’ moment at last for Wayne Rooney? At his peak agewise at 28 and steadily moving up the list of all time England goalscorers, the Liverpudlian has the experience, the class and the potential to make this World Cup his finest hour in an England shirt. With that last, crazy domestic season noone could have fore seen behind him, reinvented Rooney is strangely now fully committed to Man United, following a long Fergie period when he wasn’t. His sterling efforts and workrate for his beleaguered club have impressed everyone this year. So Wayne can he do for England this time what he’s never quite managed in the past? That is the question, Wayne: your stage is set. To aid Rooney in midfield is the finest young talent our country has fielded for some years: why, a whole mas ter class is available to Roy Hodgson. 26 yearold Adam Lallana looks to be on his way to Liverpool and surely everyone in the world will soon know his name: the Saints captain is perfectly poised to show why he is worth £27m. In addition another young Englishman

everyone is rightly raving about is Ross Barkley, whose explosive running down the middle has not been seen in an England shirt since Paul Gascoigne burst on the scene twenty years ago – but will the Evertonian start? Solid Jordan Henderson may be pre ferred to link up with his club captain Gerrard, the man has certainly matured enough to be in real considera tion. How about Alex OxladeChamberlain, another hugely positive addition to the squad who looks bang in form and could well start against Italy? His team mate Jack Wilshere has survived injuries and scares to be there, available as well. Let’s all forgive and forget 19 year old Raheem Sterling’s indiscretion against Peru. He is exciting Roy Hodgson in particular with his fearless, incisive running from wide positions: being largely unknown outside the UK, the youngster could play his fresh part in England’s quest for success. England have good reserves at either end of the field: in defence versatile Chris Smalling and Phil Jones are available for back up, and upfront Danny Welbeck rarely puts a foot wrong for England and may start plus superscouser Ricky Lambert looks the perfect part to support the scoring, wearing his huge happy heart on his shirt for his country. The opposition? I trusta the untrustworthy Italians as fara as I canna throwa them. Cesare Prandelli’s four times winners of the trophy are always at their most dangerous when they’re being written off, like lately – they’ve won the World Cup before like that. Vastly experienced hands like midfielder Pirlo can run games if you’re not careful, and that old Buffon between the sticks shows shades of that great 40 yearold goal keeper and victorious 1982 captain Dino Zoff. Nuts in Brazil? Mental Mario Balotelli will doubtless be up to his tricks to avenge the Man City blues but which

Balo will turn up on Saturday night? England need to watch the inappropriatelynamed Immobile, who top scored in Serie A this season with 22 goals. Watch ‘em lads, they’re slippery. Uruguay – probably the key game for England. Semi finalists four years ago and twice World Cup winners, Uruguay have two of the finest strikers in the world with Luis Suarez and Edison Calvani. England need no reminding of how the Premier League’s player of the year and top scorer is unplayable on his day – but what’s the truth behind his injury rumours and fitness frights following a minor knee operation? The blue and white weakness looks to be in defence, where a fast, positive attacking England could do well. Costa Rica: hmm… World Cups are notorious plat forms for underdogs who do unexpectedly well and England have had their share of banana skins over the years. But the Costa Ricans are our final group oppo nents and it’s hoped that by 24th June, England will have done enough against Italy and Uruguay to qualify from the group and we will have seen and learnt much about our lads. Will Roy’s Boys have become Hodgson’s heroes? In summary, I have conveniently once again air brushed out the last 48 years since England last won the World Cup. This is to wind myself up positively, yet again, to become excited and optimistic as our team, our country, our England again take the field in the World Cup finals (Celts note). England are also favourably fancied by a few foreign forecasters – and why not? Roy Hodgson’s team is a superb blend of old and new, young and old and the man himself has Royal experience in spades of the world stage (see over), gleaned internationally over many years. So bring it on: see you late Saturday night (midnight kick off Spanish time). ENGLAND!