Week 171

Edition 171

www.thecourier.es

Friday, May 30, 2014

RUDE HEALTH Brit sees his SIP snipped at health centre

By TONY MAYES A TORREVIEJA pensioner was left fuming after he went to a pharmacy for medication which was refused and then his local Salud cut up his Spanish health card (SIP) in front of him!

Tony White, 69, has lived in the area for many years and speaks Spanish well, which helped him to eventually solve the problem, after four frustrating weeks. The saga began when Tony’s card was blocked at his local farmacia when he went for his repeat prescrip­ tion last month.

"The chemist was very helpful and said I would have to visit my Salud and she even wrote a note to them to explain what had happened”, said Tony. “I went to La Siesta Salud to explain, armed with the note and my SIP card. The receptionist took the card, ignoring the note, and then put card into her machine. Her manner was brusque and as she removed it, she said that my country had not paid.

To add to the drama, she then got some scissors and cut it up! I asked her to stop, but she didn´t, telling her I had been using it for four years. She just shrugged her shoulders. I considered her actions both provocative and very rude. Finally, she said I would have to go to the INSS office in Torrevieja to sort the situation out."

Tony went there and was told that he did not have an E121 form or an S1 form. He explained that these had been given to that office in November,

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2009, and was told that he would have to get a new one. He rang the DWP in Newcastle, who told him that the Valencian authorities had not returned a form to them. They then offered to send a new S1 form to Tony and when he explained he was unable to get his medication, they said they would send out a new form at once. But by mid­ May, when it still hadn´t arrived, Tony phoned Newcastle again and was told the form had been sent, but the post from the UK was slow.

"I told him I had a specialist appoint­ ment on May 15th, and if I missed it I would have to start the process all over

again. On the 15th, I went to Torrevieja Hospital to see if there was any way I could keep my appointment and was told no.”

On May 22nd, Tony phoned Newcastle to say he had no more med­ ication and after being fobbed off by the assistant, he asked to speak to a manager. Tony was told it could take four weeks to get the form to Spain and there was no email facility from Newcastle. Finally, he agreed to fax the form to Torrevieja Hospital, with Tony

Continued on page 2

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2

Friday, May 30, 2014

Are you a snapper? Do you have a great photo? Send it to design@thecourier.es and if we think it is good enough we will publish it as our Picture of the Week TELEPHONE

E­MAIL office@thecourier.es WEB www.thecourier.es HEAD OFFICE Calle Luis Canovas Martinez 1. Urb Aguas Nuevas, Torrevieja 03183, ALICANTE PHONE: 96 692 1003 Email: office@thecourier.es OPENING HOURS Mon ­ Fri 1030 to 1730 EDITOR Alex Trelinski CONSULTANT EDITOR Donna Gee ADVERTISING SALES 966 921 003 office@thecourier.es TELESALES 966 921 003 679 096 309 Sally Los Alcazares, San Javier 618 391 491 Myra Quesada, Rojales, Torrevieja, San Miguel Tel. 618 583 765 Jean La Zenia, Playa Flamenca, Cabo Roig Tel. 618 898 034 Patrick International Rep 5 Languages Tel 685 901 265 Alan Tel 616 332 178 Writers Donna Gee Sally Bengtsson Jeanette Erath Alex Trelinski Dave Silver Tony Mayes John McGregor

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Picture of the Week

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Get out ! This is my Pond ! Photo by NICK BRISCHUK

RUDE HEALTH From page 1 returning there to get their fax details and arranging for it to be sent.

"I finally received the S1 form from the hospital only to be told by the INSS office they will not accept a faxed copy. They insisted they had to have the originals by post! The woman at the hospital was very helpful and pointed me in the direc­ tion of Juan Luis, who worked at the Salud at La Siesta. I met him and he found a way for me to get registered and receive my SIP card last Monday as long as I guaranteed to bring the original form when it arrived, which it did this last Saturday”.

Tony added: " There are some very good people around Torrevieja which is lovely to see. Unfortunately the bureau­ cratic machine does not appear to recognise people and their worries. If you are not competent in Spanish and do not know how to hassle the UK, goodness knows where you would be.

"Both departments should learn to talk to people and each other and then I am sure things would get sorted out without all the inconvenience and hardship, especially when elderly, vulnerable people are involved," he added.

Mr.White picked up a temporary SIP card (with his old SIP number) last Monday from La Siesta, and ironically from the same receptionist that cut his cold card up!

“She recognised me, “added Tony “and said with a grin I cut up your card, didn’t I?

NASTY DADDY

Prosecutors at Elche Provincial Court have called for an 8 year jail sentence for a Torrevieja man who sexually abused his daughter’s teenage boyfriend in the summer of 2011. The 14 year old boy had apparently been groomed for a number of months, with authori­ ties charging man with two counts of abuse.

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RUBALCABA QUITS

Spanish voters handed out a big snub to the coun­ try’s main two parties in last Sunday’s European Elections, which led to the Socialist leader, Alfredo Perez Rubalcaba saying that he will stand down at a special conference in July.

The PP and PSOE lost 32% of the votes cast for them back in 2009, with smaller left wing parties making sig­ nificant gains. The PP took the most seats with 16, 8 down on 2009, whilst the PSOE had 9 fewer repre­ sentatives down to 14. Ex­ Murcia President, Ramón Luis Valcárcel, was elected on the PP national list, but Alicante Province­based Eva Ortiz failed to get anoth­ er term. “I assume my

responsibility for electoral results that were bad," Rubalcaba (pictured) told a news conference after his party’s worst ever perform­ ance in the European Parliament elections, and added that “the results were very worrying for his party”.

His successor will be chosen on Sunday July 20th.

The result was very much seen as a sign of growing voter dissatisfaction with mainstream political parties in Spain as well as of fatigue with Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy’s (pictured) austerity measures and economic reforms. Podemos, a new left­wing party that was born out of Spain's "Indignant" movement against econom­ ic inequality and govern­

ment spending cuts, did bet­ ter than polls suggested and captured five seats. The Internet­fuelled movement, was created with the estab­ lishment of a sprawling encampment at Madrid's central Puerta del Sol square in 2011. The Plural Left (IU), a coalition of left­ wing parties, won six seats, up from two in the outgoing assembly while the centrist UPyD party won four seats, up from just one.

Turnout was 45.7 percent, up from 44.9 percent in the last European Parliament election in 2009. It had been expected to fall.

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Friday, May 30, 2014

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GAS CON MEN STRONG MEASURE ORIHUELA WOE ARRESTED

26 bogus gas inspectors who swin­ dled at least 5 thousand people have been arrested in a major sweep across Spain, with 3 being caught on the Costa Blanca. They all called round at homes claiming to be from the gas board and charging over 1 thousand Euros at a time for unnec­ essary inspections and maintenance.

They mainly targeted retired expats, typically British, German and Dutch residents, but with many wise to the con, they had worked even harder to be more convincing. The tricks included phoning homeowners to arrange an appointment, and wearing clothes that resemble a gas board's uniform, as well as carrying fake ID. They normally begin by telling the homeowner that a 'small' repair is needed to the gas bottle connections, and quote around 50 Euros to fix it. Then, whilst carrying out the 'work', they 'discover' more non­existent faults that need to be repaired, leading to the end cost coming to anything from 200 to 1,200 Euros. Some even stole valuables whilst on the premises, and when the 26 culprits were caught, police seized 25 top­of­the­range vehicles, two large motorbikes, and 4 million Euros' worth of luxury goods – some stolen, and some bought with the proceeds of the fraud.

MORE TOURISTS AND MONEY

Foreign visitors to the Costa Blanca have been digging into their pockets a bit more com­ pared to 2013. Figures show that tourists spent a total of 1.17 million Euros between January and April, a rise of 1.9% over last year.

Nationally, the figures showed a big rise of 11.2% according to the Ministry of Tourism. Not surprisingly, the bulk of spend­ ing in the Costa Blanca region came from British tourists, which accounted for 30% of the total, and a rise of 10% com­ pared to 2013. The area also saw big spending hikes from German and Italian visitors. Visitor numbers are also up with a 9% cumulative rise to the end of April in comparison to the same period in 2013, with the biggest rises coming from Germany and Belgium.

AMAZON’S SPANISH PUSH

The internet retail giant Amazon has launched a 700 thou­ sand­ strong fashion collection from over 2 thousand brands as it sets out to challenge its rivals in Spain's booming cloth­ ing sector. Although Amazon already sold shoes, accessories and jewellery in Spain, it had not until a few days ago offered the full range of fashion available to its 35 million clothing customers in the UK, USA, Germany, France, Japan, China and Italy.

"Out shelves are unlimited, so we can offer a huge range of styles and sizes," said Sergio Butcher, Vice President of Fashion for Amazon EU.

BRITS LEAD SKIN CANCER CASES

A Northern Costa Blanca hospital says that 7 out of 10 patients that it treats for skin cancer are British. Dénia’s District Hospital figures come as 4 thousand patients are diagnosed with malignant melanoma every year. But the news tends to be good for melanomas if they are discovered at an early stage, and at present they only account for 1.5%t of all cancerous tumours found in humans, with an equal inci­ dence for men and for women.

It is the fifth­most frequent form of cancer in men and the sixth­most common in women, is most likely to occur between the ages of 40 and 70, and the increase in the num­ ber of cases seen in recent years is as rapid as that of lung, liver and thyroid cancers.

Melanoma is practically always caused by exposure to the sun's harmful UV rays or through salon sunbeds, but aware­ ness and prevention continues to be low, say oncologists and dermatologists. And hospitals in areas popular with tourists and expatriates say foreigners are the most likely to suffer skin cancer.

A drunk driver gave Elche’s local police a perform­ ance to remember after he was carted off to the station.

Cops spotted and arrested him as his vehicle was wob­ bling around the Avda. Don Bosco area of the city, but then at the station he gave them more than they bargained for. He dropped his pants and started to urinate as well as trying to perform what the police described as “obscene acts”, in addition to kicking out at the officers. He was taken to a local health centre where he injured one of the policemen with a kick which needed medical attention, which led to the excited drunk hav­ ing to be injected with a tranquillizer to calm him down.

The key underpass link on the CV95 in and out of Orihuela City is to close again from this Sunday for construction work to be completed on the new AVE high speed rail link. The previous closure before Christmas of last year caused prob­ lems for drivers coming from areas like Bigastro and Hurchillo, as well as further away. Shop and business owners also claimed that the move affected their trade. The under­ pass will be out of commission until October.

WHEN THE BOAT COMES IN SLAVE BUTCHER HELD

Alicante Port is set to have a busy 2015 with the news that the number of cruise ship companies planning to use it is to go up by over 30% next year. That means the number of tourists stopping off will climb from 48 thou­ sand this year to 85 thou­ sand in 2015.

The flagship P&O cruiser, Britannia will stop off 3 times at the port, along with 5 visits from the sister ship, Ventura (pictured). Thomson, Saga, and Majestic International are some of the other companies committed to using Alicante next year.

CORVERA BOOST

Murcia’s Chamber of Commerce claims the new interna­ tional airport at Corvera will increase tourism in the Murcia Region by 10%, and on average 25% of the airport’s traffic over the first 30 years of operation will be tourist related.

Despite no date for the opening being announced, with the consensus being that nothing with happen with Corvera this year, the Chamber has produced a bullish report suggesting that the eventual opening would lead to the creation of around 4 thousand new jobs. The latest delay in the opening of San Javier airport’s replacement surrounds a European Commission inquiry into the legality of a Murcia Government loan to the Aeromar management company that would run Corvera.

BEACH PLEA

A local disabled lobby group has called for better access and improved facilities for the Orihuela Costa beaches.

"Orihuela Sin Barreras” say that major improvements are needed to improved disabled access at the seaside. Their President, Carmen Diaz says disabled toilets are essential as well easier access to the sea via rollers as well as the installation of umbrellas and showers on a firm wooden sur­ face. She added that she would like one beach that has prop­ er facilities rather than piece­meal efforts spread across the area.

A Los Alcazares butcher has been arrested and accused of his treating his workforce as slave labour. The National Police amongst other authorities came across conditions which were described as draconian in the man’s shop in Los Alcazares, after acting on a number of complaints from his workers. The Spanish citizen, of Moroccan origin, employed a number of Moroccans on an illegal basis for long hours every day of the week and is claimed to have paid miniscule wages, taking some of those away to pay for their food.

NOT GAME ON

A teenage Elche boy has admitted to killing his friend in a row over a video game last Saturday night, and is being held in an open juve­ nile facility. A group of teenagers met in an Elche house and the death happened dur­ ing a row over the score in one of the games they were playing, with a 16 year old being suffocated by the accused, which followed a fight between the two of them. The 17 year old accused teenager has no previous criminal record, and it’s believed that he strangled his friend without being aware of his strength and the danger involved. The group had met on a regular basis to play computer games and there had been no instances of altercations before.

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Friday, May 30, 2014

SHIFTING SANDS A RIGHT OLD WIZZ

Pilar de la Horadada’s disappearing sand from their beach­ es could cost up to 3 million Euros to stop happening accord­ ing to the Mayor, José Fidel Ros. Alicante University has done a survey to look at how to stop sand erosion being caused by sea waters which is affecting the area’s four miles of beaches. The building of new dykes to keep up the quality of the sandy beaches is seen as the best answer to the prob­ lem, but the Mayor says that he’ll have to look at money from the Valencia Government and the Ministry of the Environment to help fund such a project. Meanwhile the council has been transporting sand over the last few days to boost the local beaches.

Low cost air carrier, Wizz Air, is launching its first services from Alicante­Elche airport this June. There’ll be twice­week­ ly flights to Bucharest in Romania, in addition to a weekly service to the Hungarian capital, Budapest.

Meanwhile the Spanish carrier, Iberia Express, has con­ firmed details of a new three times a day service to Madrid, in competition with the faster AVE train service which begins next month. Iberia claim that the cheapest one­way tickets to the capital will be only 39 Euros.

Two people were hospitalised after their cars were involved in a crash on the AP7 near Los Alcazares. One of those injured was trapped in their vehicle after the mid­after­ noon incident on Monday and was freed by emergency serv­ ices, before being moved to hospital in San Javier. Their injuries were not life­threatening.

A 40 year old British man who is on the run from the UK authorities has been arrested by the National Police in Benidorm. A European extradition warrant had been issued for him to answer charges of 10 burglaries, whilst locally he had been sought in an attempted murder investigation.

Meanwhile, the National Police Tracking Unit has also appre­ hended a 48 year old Belgian man in Torrevieja, who the Belgian authorities want over drugs offences.

TRAPPED NICKED

MURCIA’S NICER JEWS NEW SPECIES

A giant protozoa found in the waters of Cabo de Palos, near La Manga, is amongst the top ten discoveries of new animals in the world in 2013. The unicellular organism shares protagonism with a carnivorous mammal from the forests of Ecuador, a 12 metre high tree, and the first anemone found in the ice. The protozoa is 4 to 5 cm wide and imitates marine sponges, feeding itself by reaching its tentacles out of its shell and catching invertebrates.

BOTTOM SLAPPER’S GUILT

The tiny village of Castrillo Matajudios, translated as Kill Jews Fort, is to change its 500­year­old name. Of the 56 res­ idents, 29 voted in favour of the change while 19 went against it. The remaining 7 did not vote or returned blank vot­ ing papers. The campaign to change the name, led by the mayor, Lorenzo Rodriguez, has made international headlines in recent weeks, casting the Castilla y Leon hamlet into the spotlight. The new name will be Castrillo Mota de Judios, a gentler Hill of Jews, which is similar to the village’s original name from before the Spanish Inquisition.

ROJALES INFO

Tourists visiting Rojales will be able to check out all the information they need as the local council has put up 23 infor­ mation boards around the area. Maps and historical facts feature on the displays which are designed to promote the heritage of Rojales.

ALMORADI CELEBRATES A groom­to­be who smacked the bottom of an air hostess on his way home from his stag do on the Costa Blanca could be jailed ­ just two months before his wedding. Peter Thompson, 48, was on a Ryanair flight on May 4th from Alicante­Elche, Spain to Bournemouth in Dorset when he drunkenly attacked the female crew member. He told the 'pretty' hostess he 'loved her' before he mounted a friend's lap and slapped her bottom as she walked past, the court heard.

The attendant, who cannot be named for legal reasons, pushed Thompson's hand away and told him not to do it again. He pled guilty at Bournemouth Magistrate’s Court to a charge of assault and being drunk, and faces sentencing on June 16th, two months before he’s scheduled to walk down a somewhat different aisle.

Almoradi’s Plaza de la Constitucion goes all conti­ nental this Saturday (May 31st) with the second staging of a European Day celebrating the area’s European residents. The entertainment will start from 11.00am including contribu­ tions from the Torrevieja

Pipes and Drums and the Harry Valentino Band, as well as a chance to sample various dishes from Britain and Germany.

A SLIGHT DIFFERENCE

A British holidaymaker was left stranded on the Costa Blanca after bungling UK airport officials allowed her to fly out on her daughter’s passport. Sally Nayler from Essex acci­ dentally picked up her 17­year­old daughter Shelby’s docu­ ment when leaving in a rush for a hen party in Alicante. But passport officials at London Southend Airport failed to notice the mistake — despite Ms Nayler being a middle­aged white woman and her daughter being a mixed­race teenager.

Ms Nayler was left distraught days later when officials at Alicante­Elche airport refused to let her board her flight home after she failed to produce her own passport. The distraught mother was forced to contact the British Consulate after being denied entry and consulate staff worked with EasyJet officials to arrange for an emergency passport and a flight home the next day. A spokeswoman for Southend Airport has apologised for the mistake and said a full investigation was under way.

ROBBERS RUMBLED

A customer man­ aged to thwart a bank robbery in Torrevieja last Friday (May 23rd) when he saw two men threatening the female manager with a carving knife. The intruders entered wearing balaclavas and sunglasses, and when the manager warned them the safe they wanted her to open had a delay system and built­in alarm, they forced her at knifepoint to lie on the floor face­down.

A man drawing money out of the cashpoint saw what was happening and called the Local Police who, along with the Guardia Civil, rushed to the scene at the Avenida Gregorio Marañón branch of La Caixa bank. One of them, seeing he was being watched, fled the scene and dropped an empty bag with which he was going to run off with the money from the safe. The other absconded minutes later.

Police did not arrive until the robbers had left the scene, but conflicting reports from witnesses – some saying they fled on a moped and others, in a car – meant they have not yet been caught. They are said to have been loitering in the area over several days before the attack.

CORNER TURNED

The International Monetary Fund has said that Spain's economic recovery is here to stay, hailing a return to growth and job­creation despite the nation's 26% unemployment rate. "Spain has turned the corner," the IMF said in a report on the Eurozone's fourth­largest econo­ my, which emerged in mid­2013 from 5 years of stop­start recession. "Critically, labour market trends are improving," the IMF added. "We expect the recovery to continue over the medium term."

Meanwhile, the number of new home mortgages in Spain was up 2% on a year earlier in March:­ the first such rise in nearly 4 years. Spaniards signed off on 16,625 new mort­ gages in March, up from 16,420 in February, with the aver­ age loan being €102,397 according to official figures. Spain’s central bank also said that banks were starting to loosen the reins on credit to consumers.

Friday, May 30, 2014

VLAD VISITS THE COSTA

Russian President, Vladimir Putin, com­ pared to Adolf Hitler by Prince Charles, spent time visiting the Northern Costa Blanca recently to lose some weight and to go through an anti­ageing programme at the Sha Wellness Clinic in L’Alfàs del Pi. The newspaper, La Razon, said that Putin turned up at the spa near Benidorm with a group of models. He is said to have stuck to a detox diet of whole cereal grains, beans, veg and a daily cup of miso soup during his stay, which followed Russia’s annexation of Crimea in March. It’s not known how much his stay at the Sha, which features 93 suites set in Zen gardens with

swimming pools and waterfalls, cost or how long it lasted.

A one night stay at the 320 square metre Royal Suite, where guests get offered a hel­ iport service, private parking and their own swimming pool, costs 6 thousand Euros a night. The Presidential Suite, the next room down in luxury with a private terrace jacuzzi instead of a swimming pool, costs 2 thou­ sand Euros a night.

Previous guests at the clinic, voted 7th best spa in the world in an annual Conde Nast readers poll in 2010, have included Naomi Campbell, Kylie Minogue and Gwyneth Paltrow.

More than a hundred boats illegally moored in the sea at Santiago de la Ribera have been given their march­ ing orders, with a sticker placed on their hulls telling them to get out or to face a hefty fine of up to 3 thousand Euros. Most of the boats are there to avoid paying a mooring fee at a mari­ na, but they have to be moored to something, so the owners throw large bricks or cement filled tyres into the sea to act as anchors. The sea bed is littered with such mooring devices, which must be cleared away if the beaches want to win any of the “Q for quality” Blue flags, guaranteeing clean waters. One

option for these vessels is a floating dock between La Ribera and San Pedro, with room for 179 boats, with the project awaiting a green light from the Environment Ministry.

MOOR OFF

LEGAL AND OFFICIAL Troubled Orihuela Costa charity, Help at Home Costa Blanca has received official documentation from the local authorities con­ firming and approving the change in the organisa­ tion’s officers, including the appointment of Eileen Mayes as President, that happened towards the end of 2013. The certificate from the relevant provincial government office in Alicante has now been issued and presented to the bank, which means the long­running internal dis­ pute in the charity has finally been resolved.

The charity was founded three years ago by Norah Bond and Marivi Nerva Cuela, and expanded to a membership of nearly 100 volunteers, offering help to peo­ ple in a number of ways, support if they were going into or coming from hospital operations, helping people with shopping or tidying up homes if people couldn´t cope. When Mrs Bond stood down as pres­ ident, Mrs Cuela took over, appointed at an AGM, but within weeks members were voicing concerns and these culminated in the calling of two EGMs, at which, by over­ whelming majorities, Mrs Cuela was removed from office on a vote of no confi­ dence and Mrs Mayes was elected presi­

dent. However, Mrs Cuela refused to accept that decision, maintaining the meeting was illegal and that she and her handful of supporters represented the "real" charity, holding fund­raising events using the charity´s logo to pro­ mote them.

Mrs Mayes commented: "I am delighted that finally it has been recog­ nised by the relevant official bodies that the EGM was lawful and that the membership had the right to decide who they wanted as president. Many volunteers were obviously unhappy with the situation, particularly over the intimidation which has occured during the dispute. I sincerely hope that these peo­ ple will now return and give their services again to the charity, so we can go forward and do the work which we were set up to do, that is to look after the patients who need our help and support."

The official charity fund­raiser is Norah Bond, and no other person, added Mrs Mayes.

Anyone who wants to volunteer their serv­ ices to the charity should call into the charity shop in Playa Flamenca commercial centre (10.30am to 2pm weekdays and Saturdays) or telephone 603267140 or 604151364.

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Friday, May 30, 2014

editor@thecourier.es COURIER POSTBAG: YOUR VIEWS ON OUR NEWS

Spare me a tragic roundabout...

I READ Tony Mayes rant the other week about the regulations regarding driving around roundabouts here in Spain and also his further reference to same in last week’s edition.

I would suggest that Tony investigates and checks his facts before making any further comments on the subject.

During the past six months I have seen published in two of your competitors’ papers a well illustrated diagram showing that roundabouts should be negotiated in much the same way as is the correct way in the UK. Perhaps your paper should obtain a copy and print it.

With regard to indicators, I feel that

they should possibly be outlawed on roundabouts as the majority of drivers regularly do not have a clue as to when to use them, thereby causing problems.

Many drivers indicate that they are going to turn into the road you are leav­ ing but then continue to drive past you and continue on around the roundabout with their indicator still going.

Personally I do not trust any indicators.

My actions can cause slightly unneces­ sary delays whilst I wait until I am confi­ dent that it is safe to go, but this is better than ending up with a smashed wing, or worse!!

EXPAT MOTORIST (name supplied)

SHAME OF BRITAIN’S PASSPORT SHAMBLES Dear Sir, In February 2014, we were notified in the local newspa­ pers here in Spain that in future Passport Renewal for over­ seas applicants could only be made on line to H M Passport Office in Dublin.

As both my passport and my wife’s expire in August, and we had no journeys planed for the March and April, we con­ sidered that to apply now would give us plenty of time to obtain them. Having both been born and raised in the UK and held British passports for over 50 years, we thought it would be quite simple. (Wrong).

And so, on February 17, 2014 I made an online applica­ tion for the renewal of our Passports, paying the fee of £147.86p each (£295.72p). The documentation was emailed to me to complete from the Passport Office in Dublin.

This I did, enclosing in a Jiffy envelope for protection, my declaration form, two recent photographs and my current Passport. I posted it by registered mail at a cost of 6.50€.

These were received and signed for by the Passport Office on March 13.

Five weeks after they received my documents, on April 14, a letter arrived informing me that my decla­ existing current Passport ter explaining my wife’s ration form had been dam­ brother’s circumstances and with my signature on. aged and that they were On making a phone call requesting if it was possible unable to scan my signature. this week to the Passport to fast track her passport.

Another declaration form Office to check on the HM Passport Office in was enclosed, which I filled progress, I was informed Dublin received and signed in and returned by registered that, yes, it was being for the documents on April 9. mail on April 15. processed and to phone Almost four weeks later, on On May 4, almost three again next week. So the May 6, an emailed letter from weeks later, I received an saga roles on. the Passport Office informed emailed letter from the With regards to my wife’s her they could not accept Passport Office saying they Passport, unfortunately I her photographs as they did could not accept the form as could not send it off at the not conform to the standards my signature had gone out­ same time as a close family of points 4 – 6 and 16 of the side the box and could I member had been diag­ 21 conformity points. New please sign yet another form nosed with terminal cancer. photographs were taken and and return it to them.

At the beginning of April, her sent off to the Passport This I did the same day, declaration form, existing Office immediately and we pointing out that they now Passport and two photos now wait in anticipation for had my damaged declaration accepted by Trafico for her the next problem to raise its form with my signature, my Spanish driving licence earli­ head. declaration form with my sig­ er this year were forwarded May I suggest that appli­ nature outside the box, the to the Passport Office by cants just conform to point new declaration form with my recorded delivery. Also 12, which states ‘profession­ signature in the box) and my included was a covering let­ ally printed photographs’?

James Brokenshire MP

An Open Letter to Mr James Brokenshire MP UK Minister for Immigration & Security This would alleviate these problems.

During this fiasco it was announced by you, Mr Brokenshire, that from April 7, the Passport fee for cus­ tomers applying from over­ seas would be reduced by £45. Had I made our applica­ tions after that date, it would have saved me £90, a lot of money to people living on pensions.

More important is the statement made at the time

by Mr Will Middleton, Consular Director of Spain, who was quoted as saying: “This is good news for British citizens applying for a UK passport from Spain. The repatriation of overseas passport centres means overseas applicants can now be handled more efficiently

and at significantly lower cost. ” He goes on to say: “The turnaround time is four to six weeks.”

Wel,l Mr Brokenshire and Mr Middleton, from our expe­ rience of dealing with your Passport Office, your new system is not working. Not for us, anyway.

Under the old system, whereby your Passport was sent to the British Consular in Spain, it would be turned around in approximately three weeks Finally, Spanish citizens carry ID Cards and can be asked for them at any time.

We, as British subjects living in Spain, can also be asked at any time to produce proof of our identity, which to the Spanish Police means pro­ ducing your Passport.

MICHAEL R JOBBINS, Orihuela Costa

Naming the days of Easter I REFER to the letter concerning the correct names of days at Easter time.

Holy Week as it is called starts with Palm Sunday (Passion Sunday), this followed

by Holy Thursday (Maundy Thursday, Good Friday and Holy Saturday. Easter Day (Easter Sunday) is then followed by Easter week, i.e.

Easter Monday and culminat­ ing on Easter Saturday.

In Spain, the follow­ ing are the names used: Domingo de Ramos en la Pasion del Senor which starts Semana Santa, this includes Jueves de la Cena del Senor, Viernes Santo de la Pasion del Senor, Sabado Santo de la Sepultura de Senor, Pascua de resurrecion del Senor followed by Octava de Pascua.

Easter Sunday is singular, therefore to wish somebody Happy Easter you would say ‘Feliz Pascua’.

From what is written above it is quite obvi­ ous the Saturday before Easter Sunday is not and never has been Easter Saturday.

It is also quite irrele­ vant that Spanish is spoken in over 20 countries; we are tak­ ing about English and Spanish names as used in England and Spain.

PHILIP BRADLEY, Benijofar

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Friday, May 30, 2014

BACK in my junior school days I was really good at spelling bees. I wasn’t bad at spelling bigger words, either.

And no, I won’t buzz off.

Anyway, I’ve been intrigued recently by the sub­ ject of bees and wasps, after arriving at my much­neglect­ ed UK home in Manchester to find airborne aliens swarming around the roof.

They had chosen a corner just under the guttering and as luck would have it, right outside my bedroom.

My next­door neighbours, concerned for the safety of their two young daughters, had forewarned me that if the space invaders opted for dive­bombing practice, someone might end up in waspital. So I contact­ ed the local council Pest Control department and was told that sending in a fully­ armed swat team would cost me. Providing, that is, the lit­

STINGS AIN’T WHAT THEY USED TO BEE!

The bees’ knees: Meet one of my posh new lodgers

BEE­SIEGED: The roof of my house tle fellas were wasps and not honey or bumble bees, which are protected species.

“Of course they are wasps,’’ I scoffed over the phone as the insecticide squad syphoned £57 off my debit card after insisting on prepayment a week before the death squad moved in.

“We’ve had the same prob­ lem in the past, but never quite as bad as this.’’

The stings on wings in black­and­yellow striped shirts had been found guilty without trial and sentenced to death. And I felt no remorse about being both judge and jury until I checked the aliens

out myself at close range.

Pressing my nose against the bedroom window and twisting my neck to the point of dislocation, I found myself cheek to face with a cloud of buzzing bumblers. These guys were NOT wasps ­ they were too fat and furry for that, with an orange­brown upper

body, black lower half and white tail­end.

I was totally entranced – and couldn’t wait to discover what type of bee my new lodgers were. Once I’d secured a refund of my £57 swattery money, that is.

The flitterers on the roof, it turns out, were (and still are)

Testing the patience of a bloody faint IT takes a lot to needle me these days. Just ask any of the vam­ pires who tried to get under my skin last Tuesday.

I don’t usually have a problem with blood tests because the introductory ‘sharp scratch’ is too quick for my panic button to react. But when they turn your arm into a pin cushion in a vain search for blood, now that’s

another matter.

When two nurses have four goes between them and fail to hit red, the word prick begins to take on a different meaning.

By the time Sister Dredge hit the jackpot after switching the target from my forearm to the back of my hand, I was ready to pass out for the second time in six hours.

My day had begun with a visit to the dentist for preparation work on a replacement crown.

Steven is probably the most gen­ tle and considerate practitioner in the UK, and he quickly realised from my drowsy mood that all was not right.

The problem was that I’d arrived at the surgery on an empty stomach which, combined

with the effect of the local anaes­ thetic, had my head spinning. A sugary drink cured that and left Steven to drill for gold and crown the occasion.

I left the place exactly £469 poorer than when I arrived.Still, I asked for it. Combine the words ‘sticky toffee’ and ‘pudding’ and the pudding invariably gets stuck with the bill.

tree bumble bees, or bombus hypnorum, a species which has only been resident in Britain since 2001 but has been widely welcomed by conservationists for its polli­ nation qualities.

According to Gardener’s World presenter Toby Buckland (pictured), “Bumble bees are one of the most endearing insect visitors to any garden.

“Their furry, colourful bod­ ies and clumsy flight always raise a smile, but they also do an essential job.

“Without their pollination serv­ ices many flow­ ers would produce no seeds, and fruit and vegetable yields would suffer.”

For all the bad things about Britain, I thought, the bee world is not quite the same in Spain.

I can’t remember seeing a bee of any type in my Costa garden, which is a tad sur­ prising, considering there are an estimated 720,000 million of them on the Iberian penin­ sula. Now wasps, that’s a dif­ ferent buzzword .

No more jokes about spelling bees, I promise.

The bees now have me under their spell. But why spell it ‘wasp’, not ‘wosp’?

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Friday, May 30, 2014

Friday, May 30, 2014

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Friday, May 30, 2014

A LITTLE NAME CALLING

I'VE had enough! You're all crazy! Take me out of here and shoot me!' cried Indoor Lou in the pub the other evening.

Exclamation marks were flying all over the place but none of Lou's colleagues in the inn's discussion group took the slightest bit of notice.

Indoor Lou's rants were becoming all too common­ place. As the sanest member of our company, he probably had the right to kick out occa­ sionally. But his trouble was that he'd forgotten his own history.

Indoor Lou used to be merely called Lou. But some intolerant, insensitive ignora­ mus had added the cruel 'Indoor' prefix because Lou had refused to leave his house for months, convinced that some mysterious power was lurking outside, waiting to pounce on him.

It took infinite patience on my part to convince Lou oth­ erwise and, using all my expertise in rational thinking, managed to persuade him to cross his doorstep and

accompany me to the pub.

Since that first night, Lou had never looked back ­­ well, only occasionally in case his demons were creeping up behind him. But overall, he was a changed man.

However, being an intelli­ gent person he was often confounded and frustrated by the peculiar utterances of his less intellect­endowed pub mates. It sounds brutish to say but Lou regarded us all as stupid ­­ even yours truly for some obviously illogical reason.

'You must calm yourself, dear friend,' I said after Indoor Lou's latest outburst in the hostelry.

Lou glared at me. 'And you can shut up for a start !' he declared, sending another flying exclamation mark hurtling in my direction. 'You, Dave Silver, were the intoler­ ant, insensitive ignoramus who christened me Indoor Lou. You should be ashamed of yourself.'

'But that's unfair,' I pointed out meekly. 'I have given each one of you nicknames over the years but that's a

token of the high esteem in which I hold you all.'

The entire pub clientele responded as one: 'That's why you, Dave Silver, haven't got a nickname. It's because none of us can stand you!'

'Point of order!' grunted Ol' Red Eyes, raising a gnarled finger in the air. The pub hushed immediately because Ol' Red Eyes' interjection was a departure from the norm.

The oldest and most respected member of

our pub discussion group was usually to be seen falling asleep while hunched over his bar stool. Then, seconds later, his relaxed frame would reach a tipping point which would send him crashing off the stool onto the floor.

Indeed, that section of the room was designated "Ol' Red Eyes' drop­off zone."

So when the semi­ comatose fellow managed to actually raise aloft one finger . . . well, that was equivalent to a sudden burst of energy emanating

from a heavily­drugged sloth.

But Ol' Red Eyes had also issued an utterance. True his 'point of order' was intro­ duced in a croaky fashion as befitted an unwell frog but it was still a legitimate interrup­ tion in accordance with pub discussion group rules.

'We have to draw a line here between nicknames and pet names,' he further rasped. 'The latter always denote fondness or familiari­ ty and thus affection, where­ as nicknames can be, and often are, nasty nomencla­ tures.

'For instance, my real first name is Beauregard, an hon­ ourable French designa­ tion meaning beautiful gaze, and my middle name is Pepys after the famous 17th century diarist. And yet, thanks to that rascal Dave Silver, everybody calls me Ol' Red Eyes which is insulting.'

Something triggered a childhood memory within me and I started to sing: 'Little Beau Pepys has lost his sheep. And doesn't know where to find them. Leave

them alone and they'll come home, bringing their tails behind them.'

The pub punters burst into laughter at my impromptu rhyme recital. Word spread like wildfire throughout the hostelry and then out through the doors and into the street where Fag Ash Bill almost choked on his pavement cig­ arette but managed to guf­ faw: 'Have you heard?

There's a bloke in there named Little Bo Peep.'

Passers­by stopped in their tracks, stepped around the hysterical, shoulder­ heaving Fag Ash Bill, and poured into the pub, roaring with glee.

The cry went up: 'Show us the man called Little Bo Peep. It's the most uproari­ ous thing we have ever heard in the whole of our mundane lives and we sim­ ply have to view him.'

Ol' Red Eyes turned red.

'Dave Silver, you are a dead man!' he declared. But his voice was already weakening and in no time at all he was on the floor . . . counting sheep.

Friday, May 30, 2014

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Friday, May 30, 2014

THE LONG FURRY ARM OF THE LAW

Police dogs, in my opinion are the biggest deterrent of crime in the UK. I have seen on numerous occa­ sions a group of yobs on a street corner. When the police arrive the yobs do not take them seriously, because respect is some­ thing that left the UK a long time ago.

On the other hand, when the dog unit arrive and out steps a German Shepherd, it is then and only then the yobs take notice and move on. I have seen these German Shepherds go through their training pro­ gramme with the Metropolitan Police and believe me, what they go through and do is awe inspir­ ing. To challenge one of these dogs, you would have to be totally insane. I have seen what a German Shepherd can do with his jaws in three seconds and the police use them for a very good reason. They look the part and simply put, they are the part. Their bite pressure weighs in at 238 pounds,

which is 3 pounds more that a Pit Bull Terrier. Criminals beware!

It is believed that the police first used dogs in the force in 1888, during the Jack the Ripper murders in East London. It wasn’t until 1914 though, when the Metropolitan Police intro­ duced 172 dogs into the service. In that same year an officer and his dog saved a person from drowning in a lake. For all of his hard work, the dog received a new collar for his good work!

I was raised in Peckham in South East London, so it is with great pleasure that I can confirm that the first true police dogs, two Labradors, were used in 1938 to patrol the streets of Peckham. In 1948, the first German Shepherds were used by the Metropolitan Police and since then they have gained

THE FINAL TEST FOR an envious reputation as the ultimate police dog.

The working life of a German Shepherd working for the police is between seven and a half and eight and a half years. After they finish their service, it is com­ mon that they stay with their handler as a pet. During their service, they live with their handler, which creates a very strong bond. They start their basic training at twelve months old.

During their working life

being kept and I have been lucky enough to be at one of these events and each German Shepherd per­ formed in outstanding fash­ ion. I remember that they were in a field and had to find and detain an armed robber in a cabin. This was no prob­ lem for all of them. They then had to race well over half a mile to catch and detain a A POLICE DOG­ STAY they are used for the search­ criminal, which they did with ing for suspects and missing ease.

The surprise element people; locating objects dropped or though was when each offi­ concealed during a criminal cer congratulated his dog on incident; following a track left their performance and they by a person on the thought the test was over. It ground;chasing and detain­ was at that point a thug ing a person who runs away emerges from some bushes, when challenged to stop; and wielding a base ball bat, finally disarming violent shouting and screaming armed suspects and control­ threats. Each dog switched straight back on to work ling hostile crowds.

An officer and his dog have mode instantly, as they to go through yearly testing, detained the man with to make sure standards are incredible ease.

The German Shepherds reputation and standards as a police dog are or the high­ est standards and I have also seen what damage they can do to a criminal, should they try and get away. So if you are ever unlucky enough to hear a police officer say to you, “Police officer with a dog”, do not even try to com­ pete! This is all a game to the dog, but one in which they always win, with incredible and impressive force.

We run a charity here in Spain where we rehabilitate the most abused dogs. If you would be kind enough to donate anything to our chari­ ty you can do by Paypal, where the account details are peter@thedog youneed.com or to our Nat West charity account, where the sort code is 60­16­03 and the account number is 73754900.

If needed the IBAN num­ ber is: GB83 NWBK 6016 0373 7549 00 and the BIC number is: NWBK GB 2L. We are in desperate need of funds. Thank you.

PETS’ CORNER: CAN YOU TAKE IN A HOMELESS DOG OR CAT? Buster is about 5 years old very friendly, good with chil­ dren and other dogs.

He is castrated, chipped and has a Passport. Buster is about the size of a spaniel and would make an ideal companion for someone with a garden. He responds well to commands and walks well on the lead. Please contact K9 or PHONE 600 84 54 20 for more info www.k9club.es

Harry and Becks were born around the 18th March and have been bottle fed from tiny babies. They will be small when fully grown and are used to other dogs and cats. Call: 645 469 253 www.petsinspain.com

These three gorgeous little guys needs a home! We have lots of puppies in at the moment in all shapes and sizes, People are wel­ come to come and have a look at them. You can see our dogs by finding us on facebook “Paradise Kennels” or call 619 938 955

Harry and Becks

Buster We have many kittens loo­ king for homes, they vary from 7 weeks old to 12 weeks old and different colours. If you are looking to adopt a kitten please call: 645 469 253 www.pet­ sinspain.com

CHUSA 18 months old medium size girl. She was thrown out of a car and tried to run after it but to no avail.

She is a very quiet and timid dog but is fine with other dogs and cats. Can you plea­ se give Chusa a home where she can gain back her confi­ dence and she will repay you with lots of love?

PLEASE CALL LINDA ON 965725794 www.animalaidcostablanca.or g

Chusa

Abandoned at only 12 weeks old, cute brother and sister, George and Emily are amazingly well behaved for puppies. They should only be small dogs when fully grown and will be a delight­ ful member of any loving home. They are being loo­ ked after by APAH and to arrange to meet them, plea­ se contact Yvonne on 630 422 563

SASHA, who is a 6 year old female Husky, was found back in February in the most terrible condition; complete and utter neglect was res­

ponsible for her very poor state. She had a great num­ ber of weeping sores cove­ ring a large area and was extremely thin. She was quite fearful of people and must have felt extremely unwell but still managed to wag her tail after a few days of good food and lots of cud­ dles. Now she is a happy and well socialised dog who loves her walks and is very good on the lead; she is fully vacci­ n a t e d , micro chip­ ped and spayed. All S a s h a needs now is a happy and loving home which so far in her life has been sadly lacking. For more info Sasha then please call on 966710047 or email info@satanimalrescue.com

Lucky little Pixie has found a home, but sadly his brother Dixie is still looking. He is one of many kittens which have found their way into APAH's Cattery over the last few weeks. Many of them abandoned in bins and bags at the side of the road. Can you offer any of them a loving home? To visit them, please contact Yvonne on 630 422 563.

These 4 kittens were dum­ ped in a box outside a super­ market on La Marina last week, they are approx 9 weeks old and there is 3 girls and 1 boy. Call: 645 469 253.

Friday, May 30, 2014

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Friday, May 30, 2014

REMOVE THOSE NOSTALGIC BLINKERS

Not a day goes by when I don´t see something on the internet about times gone by in the UK. More and more of Britain seems to be slipping into a country filled with immi­ gration problems.

There has been internet post after post about what the writer’s grandfather, father or even Winston Churchill would say about this situation! I am sure that every young person is now aware of the ´Rivers of Blood´ speech from 1968 even if they couldn´t name it´s orator as being Enoch Powell. Time and again I am feeling bombarded with mention of the good old days. Yes sure, things were great in the 1980´s when I was a teenager; things were more simple then but to say they were perfect would be a mistake. There were child murderers and molesters and of course there were thieves, burglars and robbers.

Society changes and that is called progression, and if we didn´t change then we

would not have new things or new technology.

Is change always good or always bad though? Or does it depend on what the change is? Is it normal to look back on the days of our youth with regret about the ways things are now? I like to think that I have become

a quite positive person. I´ve always been a relaxed type that likes to be calm. I had enough of a busy, stressful job in the UK and I wanted tranquillity in my private life, which is what I managed.

When I see these posts or news items however, I begin to look back seriously

on the days of my youth, and I realise that there were other problems, far bigger than a few extra people or a few less jobs. When I was a teen, there was the on­ going Cold War between America and the Soviet Union, with the nuclear threat hovering over all of

us for many years. Although this threat may come and go when things erupt with North Korea for example, today´s children don´t have the same fear hanging over their heads and I believe that those who look back with rose tinted glasses do so because they yearn more for the days when they had the whole of their lives ahead of them, rather than because the world really was better back then.

It´s scary getting older and when we were young, things were more simple but this is nothing new or particular to any generation.

In fifty years’ time, today´s teenagers will be looking back at 2014 and thinking how much better it was then. Rather than complain about things that are hap­ pening, I think we should embrace the change and accept it. Life has never been easy but it is a lot eas­

ier than it was at the start of the last century and we have progress to thank for that.

We should embrace immigration and look to the real culprits in why there are many people wanting to live in Western Europe. We ought to change the system rather than blaming those looking for a better life. As I´ve written many times, we have to enjoy who we are right now and accept or try and change things we can´t or don´t want to accept. We should not look back and say my dad was right or say this country is going to the dogs. We should instead say:­ Well, I am just one person and I can´t change the world on my own, but I can accept the good things and unless I am willing to get up and do something about things I don´t agree with, then I will accept those too.

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Friday, May 30, 2014

KICKED IN THE POLLS!

In an astonishing set of results, European voters blew a giant collective raspberry at the estab­ lished traditional parties last weekend, though the problem here is that some very nasty people found themselves with seats in the European Parliament.

The National Front won the French vote, whilst the obnoxious bunch of fascist cretins called Golden Dawn, came third in Greece.

The Spanish results will give sleepless nights to both the PP and PSOE. Though Mariano Rajoy’s governing party got more votes than the Socialists, both parties lost an astounding 16% each compared to the 2009 elections, along with quite a few seats. Bye bye then to Alicante Province member, Eva Ortiz, who was shoved well down the PP list of can­ didates! Loads of new par­ ties appeared on the scene, with a variety of left of centre

groupings lead by the IU and a new party called Podemus winning a clutch of seats. Yes, around 60% of the voters stayed at home, but this set of returns if reflected in the next General Election means that there isn’t a cat in hell’s chance of the big boys here forming a government on their own, without doing a deal with anybody else. The Spanish voters have strongly sug­ gested that they’ve had enough and this will send

shivvers down the Madrid corridors of power. Great!

Over in the UK, I slightly caution over wheeling out the UKIP banners of cele­ bration for the next General Election in terms of winning seats that could hold the balance of power. It was a great weekend for Nigel Farage’s party, and crucially they did almost as much damage to Labour as to the Tories and Lib Dems, rub­ bishing old views that they were a dumping ground for right­wing votes. That must be frightening Ed Miliband (surely he has to promise an in/out Euro referendum!) and also that their perform­ ance ahead of next year’s big vote just isn’t good enough. But on the other side, you must remember this: ­ Westminster elections are conducted on a first past the post system and not proportional representation, which means that the dice is heavily loaded in favour of Labour and the Tories.

There’s also the electoral

law over broadcasting which guarantees Labour, the Conservatives, and the Lib Dems all equal air time, leaving UKIP out in the cold.

Also casting a protest vote is very different to the way people feel when they come to a Parliamentary election.

That’s the conventional wis­ dom, but perhaps we are not in conventional times, and that there is a massive sea change in the UK and across the continent. The Tories will be quietly smug as they only lost about 4% of their support to UKIP, whilst it was a disastrous performance for the Lib

Dems, who kept just one seat, amidst a logic­free clamour from some party members for Nick Clegg’s head to roll. As I cautioned earlier, a General Election is a different animal, and most of the Lib Dem MPs will return to the Commons because of the way they have “worked” their con­ stituencies hard. What I can confidently predict from both the European and local elections in the UK is that another “hung” parliament is almost certain, but will it be Mr. Farage that ends up as “deal” maker, or will it be Mr.Clegg?

SEPA. MEANS SAFE AND EFFICIENT PAYMENTS IN SPAIN. What is SEPA? The Single Euro Payments Area (SEPA) is making euro payments faster, safer and more efficient within the 34 EU countries. It enables customers to make cashless euro payments to anyone within the EU. What are the ways to pay using SEPA? 1. SEPA credit transfer A single way to transfer funds nationally or anywhere within the EU. 2. SEPA direct debit Now charges can be made directly to an account in one EU country for services provid­ ed by a company based in another country.

3. SEPA for cards Customers can conveniently use the same cards they use for national purchases, any­ where in Europe. Merchants will accept all cards, making payment processes easier and more attractive.

SEPA standards required for full introduction 1. IBAN IBAN is the International Bank Account Number that identifies your account anywhere in the world. With a maximum of 34 digits it includes the following in order: 2 digits country code 2 digits check digit 30 digits (max) account identification specific to each country UK IBAN example: GB19 LOYD 3096 1700 7099 43 2. BIC BIC (Bank Identifier Code) numbers will be phased out for cross­border payments by February 2016.

3. PAYMENT CARDS All payment cards will be migrated from magnetic strip to EMV chip. There is currently no date for completion.

Timeline for the SEPA process The process began in 1999 and is now in the final migration phase.

February 2014: Credit transfers and direct debits in the EU should be carried out in accordance with the standards mentioned above. A six month transition period is being introduced.

February 2016: For niche products with specific characteristics a longer transition phase is made for in some countries.

31 October 2016: EU member states with non­euro currencies must adhere to stan­ dards set for credit transfers and direct debits in euros, by this end date.

SEPA indicators. Key facts at a glance.

SEPA credit transfers as a % of total EU transactions is 93.9%* SEPA direct debit as a % of total transactions is 80.3%* EMV transactions as a % of total transactions is 79.6%** *February 2014­03­21 **June 2013 We hope this information provided in this article is of interest.

If you would like to contact Linea Directa please call 902 123 104 More information on Linea Directa online at www.lineadirecta.com

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Friday, May 30, 2014

UNCLE SAM IS TOO TRIGGER HAPPY

AMERICAN madness strikes again! How many more times has someone got to go berserk with a gun, randomly shooting people before this crazy country ends its love affair with guns?

If it´s not young people with mental problems shoot­ ing people in schools and colleges, it´s random shoot­ ings in the streets. And the problem is made so much worse because it is virtually as easy for someone to buy a gun as it is to get a beefburg­ er. America was a lawless place a couple of centuries ago, when you had to arm yourself to protect against gunslingers, Indians, et al, (if the cowboy films are to be believed).

But the country is (margin­ ally) more civilised today, but made far more dangerous than it needs to be because of the proliferation of guns.

And every attempt to bring some common sense into the obsession with guns is met with fierce opposition from the gun lobby, which is driven by big money and a determination that there should never be an end to every American´s right to bear arms.

So we have the crazy situ­ ation that people are living in fear because they know that someone might have a gun in a handbag or pocket, so they carry a gun. It´s a self­ perpetuating problem and the cycle must be broken, or the heartbreak of innocent people being randomly killed will just keep going on. The problem with mental illness is that it cannot be seen and it´s difficult to know if someone is

badges. He said: "It is shocking how low some people are stooping in order to con a few hours of free parking, including using a dead relative's blue badge or leaving a disabled parent trapped in their home."

I couldn´t agree more. It´s the same story in supermar­ ket car parks and other places where the disabled have special parking bays.

Why are people so lazy they cannot walk a few yards?

IF there´s one thing I hate it´s jumped up prats in uniform throwing their weight about ­ and here´s a classic. In Brighton there were a couple of tellers outside a polling sta­ tion legally asking electors for their cards to confirm that they had voted. Along came the prats in the shape of two Community Support Officers who started throwing their weight around telling the tellers they were acting ille­ gally by asking for people´s polling cards. What these dimwits failed to do was to radio a senior officer at the station and ask what the law was before making prats of themselves. After throwing their weight around they finally did what they should have done in the beginning.

A police spokesman said: "After they contacted a more senior officer, they were given guidance that this was not an offence and they did not intervene again." Whenever someone in authority oversteps the mark in such a way as this they should not only be rep­ rimanded, they should lose pay too. That would make them think twice.

A MAJOR event in Madrid's bullfighting season had to be cancelled last week, after all three

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being tipped over the edge to a point when they go on a killing spree. The latest mas­ sacre in California left six dead and seven injured as the killer had three semi­ automatic handguns and 400 rounds of ammunition with him. The two Sig Sauers and a Glock were lawfully held. He had been diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome and had "multiple therapists". So, how on earth could such a person be allowed to carry guns? A day before the attack, the killer posted a video on YouTube, promising to slaughter "spoilt, stuck­up, blonde" women who he said had rebuffed him. He was clearly mentally ill. How many more mentally ill peo­ ple are there in America owning a gun collection and ready to go on the rampage over some perceived wrong? Enough is enough America.

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STILL concerning America, it was sad to hear the story day after day of the search for the four missing sailors in mid­ Atlantic. I was amazed when I heard the American Coastguard was calling off the search for survivors before the hull of the over­ turned yacht was examined.

I was left wondering whether the Americans would have been so quick to abandon the search had the crew been American. A cargo ship had found the hull a few days before, and I was left wondering why Coastguards had not raced to the scene and examined the upturned boat then, rather than wait until they had their arms twisted by relatives and per­ sonal intervention by PM David Cameron.

But then, everything revolves around money in America.

EVERYONE in Britain has to got to be a whole lot better at disposing of their rubbish by next year ­ on orders from the European Union. New EU directives state that every country has to recycle at least half of their household waste or face fines. In Britain the target is not being reached, and even worse, the recycling rate is actually dropping, down from 44% to 43% in a year. It means that councils will have to draw up schemes to introduce sepa­ rate collections for paper, metal, plastic and glass.

Sadly, Brits and people in Spain too for that matter, are a mucky and a lazy lot. Here in Spain we have recycling bins everywhere, but does everyone use them? Sadly

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not. We have discarded rub­ bish in the streets, on the beaches, on waste ground, in fact everywhere. Sadly, when I go to ordinary waste bins, more often than not I see cardboard and plastics in them when the proper recycling bins are right beside that for general waste. When we´re in the UK, we live on a static home park where there are big rubbish bins and not one bin for recycled rubbish. We separate our plastics, cans, bottles and paper and take them all to the recycling sta­ tion which is no big deal when it´s on the way to the shops. Judging by the over­ flowing bins we are the only recyclers. Sadly, so many people are plain lazy, and will only respond if there is an incentive. Just imagine how clean and tidy towns and countryside would be if we were paid cash per kilo for recycled rubbish left for collection or taken to recy­ cling centres?

ON the subject of lazy people, it seems that an increasing number of people are prepared to fraudulently use blue dis­ abled driver badges to either save a walk or money or both. And, it seems, an increasing number of offenders caught by councils are professionals, such as solicitors and architects.

Some were caught using a dead relative's pass or leav­ ing a disabled person at home to get free parking while shopping or at work.

Chairman of the Local Government Association´s economy and transport board, Peter Box, con­ demned the misuse of the

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matadors were gored by bulls. David Mora suffered the worst injuries, as one of the animals rammed its horn into his leg and tossed him into the air at the Las Ventas bullring. The organisers of the prestigious San Isidro festival said it was the first time in 35 years that the event had had to be sus­ pended. About 2,000 bull­ fights are still held every year in Spain, but the num­ bers are falling. In 2010, Catalonia became the sec­ ond Spanish region after the Canary Islands to ban the tradition.

Opponents describe the blood­soaked pageants as barbaric, while fans ­ includ­ ing Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy ­ say the tradition is an ancient art form deeply root­ ed in national history. Well, I sit firmly in the opponents camp, as, I am sure, the vast majority of Brits do. The sooner this "art form" is resigned to the Spanish his­ tory books the better. My sympathies are firmly on the side of the bulls ­ a few more horrific injuries to matadors might persuade the Spanish to get into the 21st century.

FINALLY, I couldn´t resist bringing you this absolute gem of a story.

A branch of the up­market estate agent Savills in Sloane Street, London, had a major plumbing problem after the women´s loo had a blockage. Plumbers discov­ ered the reason for the blockage was used con­ doms, prompting the manag­ er to issue a stern warning to staff not to have sex in the office! Imagine if you worked there and returning home to the wife or husband and answering the probing ques­ tions after that story hit the headlines!

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SAY IT IN SPANISH Learn the lingo - with a little help from JEANETTE ERATH Spanish 124 ¡Hola! I hope you are enjoying this lovely weather and enjoying learning and improving your Spanish. It´s a long road that we are on but it´s all worth it in the end, once we are speaking Spanish confidently we realise just how impor­ tant all those hours of study were.

I see my students improve weekly and can always tell how much work they have put in during the week, those that come in confidently and can quite easily translate what I ask them feel a justified sense of achievement and I too feel very happy for them because I know the work they´ve put in and enjoy their feelings of success. I can´t make anyone learn a new language, all I can do is guide and give them the benefit of my experience having been in their shoes, I can encour­ age and explain but I can´t do the most important part of

Hay más de diez personas en la clase

learning and that´s spending the hours reading and study­ ing: that has to be down to you, the learner, and the more you put in the more you get out. So stick with it, don´t give up, you´ve already come so far, and let´s get on with some more common errors.

When we want to say more than we normally use ´que´ for example more than I – más que yo, but when we are talking about numbers we have to use ´de´ so more than 5 is más de cinco, there are more than ten people in the class – hay más de diez personas en la clase.

When we want to say something along the lines of­ The more I see him the more I like him we might want to say ­ Lo más que lo veo lo más que me gusta but this, although a more direct translation, it isn´t correct, we have to use the Spanish construction using "Cuanto" so, the more I see him the more I like him is Cuanto más lo veo, más me gusta.

The more I study the more I learn Cuanto más estudio, más aprendo.

The verb to remember in Spanish is ´recordar´ and it doesn´t have a reflexive pronoun nor ´de´ so you wouldn´t say ´me recuerdo de Madrid´ ­ I remember Madrid, we use recordar algo to remember something and recordar a alguien to say remember someone. ¿Recuerdas a Laura?

– do you remember Laura, no recuerdo haberlo hecho – I don´t remember having done it.

Now we are going to cover another verb that sounds like an English Word but again means something different. The verb means to support and you may think it´s soportar how­ ever this actually means ´tolerate´ or ´put up with´ In order to say support we usually use apoyar. Although with football teams, if you want to say ´I support Real Madird´ you just say ´Soy del Real Madrid´ to ask ´which team do you sup­ port?´ we ask ´¿de qué equipo eres?´ If you say ´no soporto a Antonio´ you are actually saying ´I can´t stand Antonio´ so be very careful with this one, you don´t want to upset anyone! So how do we use apoyar: I need your sup­ port – necesito tu apoyo, I support everything you do – apoyo todo lo que haces.

Soy del Real Madrid I hope you are picking up these hints and rules and remembering them, it all comes down to the difference in English and Spanish we are all taught in our early Spanish lessons, which is the word embarazada, it sounds like the word embarrassed but if the majority of us said it we would be very embarrassed, you certainly wouldn´t say ´estoy embarazada´ unless you really were pregnant! To say I´m embarrassed don’t forget we need the verb tener, rather than estar and we say ´tengo vergüenza´.

All these points of Spanish are important to learn one by one and work through remembering whether we can trans­ late word for word or whether we need to be a bit more selective.

I hope you have a great week and keep practising… ¡que tengas una buena semana!

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Friday, May 30, 2014

HAIR GROWTH AND REGROWTH How to achieve happy, healthy hair growth Introduction When it comes to hair growth, we've all been guilty of anxiously peering in the mirror every day to see if we have made any progress, only to become frustrated with the fact that it takes a long time to regrow hair.

Added to that is the frustration that comes along with not being able to style your hair during this stage. That is why many refer to hair regrowth as an “awkward stage.”

While hair growth is a slow process (locks normally grow about ½" per month), there are several things that you can do to make your transition to longer tresses smoother.

No matter whether you want to add a few more inches or you are trying to grow your hair down your back, hair growth can be frustration free if you go about it in the right way.

The first thing that you need to realize if you are trying to regrow hair is that hair regrowth is a process, and in that process you will likely have to adapt to several differ­ ent styles before you reach your ultimate hair growth goal. This means you will likely be spending more time at the salon during the hair growth process rather than away

from it.

Since hair growth after different circum­ stances needs to be approached a bit differ­ ently, we're going to take a little time to look at how to regrow hair after a few of the main incidents that people normally want to pro­ mote quick hair regrowth.

Hair growth after a bad hair cut

We've all had those terrible experiences at the salon where we asked for a particular cut that was just inches shorter than what we started with, only to come out of the salon with a much shorter do than what we bargained for. And you can bet that if the stylist didn't give you the cut you wanted, the cut you have is probably in poor shape itself.

Hair growth after times like these needs to come in steps. While you may not want to, the first thing you need to do after getting a bad haircut is to go and get it cut again. The reason why is that you need to get a style that you can work with, one that is evenly cut, and a style that is poised to regrow hair.

Doing this will eliminate a lot of the frustra­ tion that you feel during the hair growth process and will give you a style that you

Embarassing bodies!!!!

I’m sure most of us have watched this programme with a mixture of amaze­ ment, disgust and relief sometimes that someone else has got the same prob­ lem as us and we are not the only one struggling with a “not so nice “ bit of us.

In the first of our embarrassing bodies articles we are going to look at an “enor­ mous” problem that is embarrassing to many people and that is OBESITY. We may be simply a bit overweight or we may be morbidly obese. In either case we are dam­ aging our health both now and in the future and with summer nearly here we are dam­ aging ourselves psychologically. I’m not going to tell you all the many problems being overweight is creating for you but I am going to take the LET ME HELP YOU approach. There is no magic wand, no magic bullet no genie in a bottle to help us but with support and self­discipline you can lose ALL the excess you want to. I don’t

believe that there is one way that works for all, as we are all different and we have gained weight for different rea­ sons, but the simple fact is that what you put into your mouth is what governs the size you are. YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT it’s as simple as that.

Using a variety of approaches I know that we can work with you and find out what is going to work for you.

If you really want to I promise that anyone can drop at least one stone in a reasonable period of time if you are willing to let us help you to help yourself.

Stop looking at thin little people and wish­ ing you could get into that pair of shorts, start looking at yourself and beginning to prepare for what could be the most amazing journey of your life, your weight loss jour­ ney.

Contact us today: on 966 191 514 / 722 219 450 or email info@slimfit­europe.com

can be proud of in the meantime.

The first visit after a bad haircut is critical to your hair growth success. Together, you and your stylist can examine the style that you would eventually like to achieve, and discuss the hair regrowth process and how to cut your hair throughout the duration. The right cuts will ensure that you remain stylish and stress free during the hair growth process.

Hair growth after an illness

If you have lost all of your hair due to chemotherapy or another illness, you no doubt want to regrow hair quickly. While hair regrowth can begin within days of stopping treatments, the hair growth process after an illness can be drawn out.

The first thing you will notice once your hair starts to grow back in, is that it can be sparse in places and that it may have changed in texture. While it may be tempting to encourage any amount of hair growth after losing all of your hair, you need to give your locks some time to recover, thicken up and fill in before you start to regrow hair.

This part of the hair growth process can take several visits to the salon before your stylist gives you the go ahead on growing your hair out. During this time, your stylist will likely recommend short layered haircuts, which will be easy to style and make your hair appear thicker until hair growth is evi­ dent on all parts of your scalp.

Once you begin the hair growth process, you can proceed just like anyone else trying to promote hair regrowth. Choose cuts that are both stylish and that will grow into a longer style without much headache.

Hair growth to gain length

Some people already have lengthy locks, but would like to see their hair grow even longer. For this type of hair growth, products that stimulate hair growth often work best.

Look for topical products that contain nettle or for vitamin supplements that stimulate hair regrowth.

Salon visits during this type of hair growth should also not be ignored. Be sure to get your ends trimmed regularly and avoid unnecessary damage due to chemical processes such as perms and colour. You should also protect your hair from the sun by using products that contain UV protectants.

As you can see, hair growth does not have to be a lesson in patience. If done properly, you can avoid all of the frustration and have stylish, adorable locks even while you are trying to regrow hair.

UNDERSTANDING POST-TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER (PTSD) DR MACHI MANNU’S ADVICE CLINIC Email your questions and comments to contact@medb.es

After a terrible experience, it is normal to feel sad, fright­ ened or anxious. But as time passes, the general upset feeling should start to fade and allow you to get back into the swing of life once more. However, the trauma might be so overwhelming that it becomes impossible to let go and move on. You feel stuck with painful or frighten­ ing memories that do not fade away, and If this is the case, you may be suffering from Post­traumatic stress disorder.

Following trauma, perma­ nent changes occur in the brain that increases depres­ sion, anxiety, impaired mem­ ory, cognitive decline and increased destructive behav­ iour, leading to alcoholism, drug abuse, family violence and reckless risk taking.

As the name suggests,

post­traumatic stress disor­ der puts the body into severe stress. Research has shown that people, who have been exposed to extreme stress like war, have a smaller hip­ pocampus ­ a region of the brain that plays a role in ‘emotional memory’. This might explain why the trau­ matic memories of PTSD seem very different from other kinds of memories.

Such memories continue for a longer time, are easily trig­ gered and are also very diffi­ cult to translate into words.

Scientific studies have also shown the involvement of neurotransmitters, which are brain chemicals that communicate information between the brain and the body.

Neurotransmitters such as serotonin, noradren­ alin and dopamine all play a role in PTSD. Serotonin

keeps basic emotions such as mood, sex, sleep, arous­ al, pain and aggression in check, while noradrenalin regulates alertness and sleep­wakefulness cycles.

This explains why PTSD overlaps with depression, anxiety, impulsivity and aggression. Post­traumatic stress disorder is recognised as a psychiatric disorder, and medical treatment involves the use of antide­ pressants, antipsychotics and mood stabilizers, pre­ scribed by doctors. However teaching sufferers about the disorder, providing coun­ selling, as well as teaching them relaxation techniques may be more effective than medications.

FOR A FULL BODY DIAGNOSTIC SCAN CALL DR MANNU: 965071745

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THE CAUSES OF DRY MOUTH

Q

I wake­up five or six times per night due to having to drink water for my dry mouth. I have been putting ´Xylomelts´ into my mouth before going to sleep for a while now but they have started to make my mouth sore so have stopped using them. I have to visit the loo three or four times as a consequence of drinking so much, so sleep is very limited. Can you help me at all?

Dry mouth syndrome or xerostomia occurs when there is reduced production of saliva from the salivary glands as a result of a number of factors. However this is not always the case as some people who don’t secrete much saliva do not show signs of dry mouth, while others complaining of dry mouth may be producing normal quantities of saliva.

Certain symptoms are known to occur togeth­ er with dry mouth such as; blurred vision, inability to cry, intolerance to light, and dry­ ness of the nose, itchiness, as well as voice changes. Those who breathe through the mouth – mouth breathers are more prone to suffer from dry mouth and its complications.

The logical approach to therapy is to establish the possible causes of the problem rather than to jump into treating symptoms.

Prescribed medications are a common cause of dry mouth, and it is estimated that over 500 prescription medications cause dry mouth as a side effect. In fact over half of the most com­ monly prescribed medications are known to cause dry mouth. Drugs used to manage

A

blood pressure, antidepressants, steroids, antihistamines and a host of other classes of medications can give rise to dry mouth. Are you on any medications? Have your medica­ tions been changed recently? A consequence of the downturn in economy especially here in Spain is the preference for cheaper and most likely low quality prescription drugs by public health doctors in order to reduce hospital costs. Dry mouth can also be triggered by any condition that leads to loss of fluids from the body such as vomiting, diarrhoea, and exces­ sive sweating. If you haven’t suffered from dry mouth most of your life, it is reasonable to assume that it must have been triggered by something – drugs, foods, or chemicals.

Perhaps you’ve recently moved home and this has led to a change in Lifestyle. Dry mouth can also be caused by worsening chronic disorders especially autoimmune dis­ eases like rheumatoid arthritis, Sjogren’s dis­ ease and lupus. Xylimelts or Xylomelts con­ tains xylitol, a type of alcohol with a sweet taste that stimulates the glands to produce saliva. Dry mouth is also associated with a dysfunctional nervous system because sali­ vary glands have complex nerve connections, and if these nerves become inflamed, the glands may produce a lot less saliva.

Nutritional deficiencies can cause dry mouth because saliva although mostly made up of water, also contains several minerals, pro­ teins and enzymes that give it a unique con­ sistency. Even though you may have a

healthy diet, you may need to take supple­ ments to ensure you are receiving all essen­ tial nutrients. The presence of contaminants or toxins can also inflame the salivary glands, and this in turn affects the secretion of saliva.

Poor dental hygiene is also a common cause of dry mouth. An effective and cheap way to maintain adequate dental hygiene is by swishing with 2 tablespoons of coconut oil for about 15 minutes every day for a week. This is called ‘Oil pulling’ and is a therapy that has been used for thousands of years by several cultures. This will extract toxins in the oral cav­ ity. Sweats and candies also help increase the production of saliva and this alleviates the problem until a cure is found. And if these actions don’t help, you may need to consider having a full health­check to find out the root cause.

FOR A FULL BODY DIAGNOSTIC SCAN CALL DR MACHI MANNU: 965071745 I suffer from recurrent urine infec­ tions, and have tried many antibiotics without success. What do you recom­ mend?

Q A

Many women who suffer from Urinary tract infections (UTIs) rely on antibiotics to treat them. UTIs are caused by a variety of micro­organisms ­ bacteria, but especially fungi such as Candida Albicans. These microbes originate from the intestines and find their way into other parts of the body. Urinary infections are more common in women than in

men mainly because women have a much shorter urinary tract, making it easier for these organisms to travel into the urinary bladder.

Most microbes that cause UTIs are described as opportunistic, because they wait until the immune system is compromised before invading the body. Such microbes are usually all around us, in the air we breathe, the food we eat, and usually do not cause any prob­ lems since we are protected by a strong immune system. When you take antibiotics, your immune system that was offering you protection against such opportunistic microbes becomes weakened. Antibiotics destroy both white blood cells and deadly microbes, and recent studies have demon­ strated that what’s left of the white blood cells becomes unable to fight deadly microbes.

The most effective way to treat Urinary Tract Infection is with a natural product known as D­ mannose. D­mannose is a simple sugar that is not digested by the body. Instead it passes undigested into the urinary bladder where it attaches to the bladder wall, making it difficult to microbes to cling on. By drinking a lot of water, these microbes are flushed out of your body. In summary D­mannose eliminates microbes from your body without destroying them like antibiotics. It is more effective than most antibiotics. D­Mannose and other sup­ plements are available at MedB Health Shop.

CALL 965071745 for more information Send your questions to: contact@ medb.es

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SPANISH NEWS

The spy who drove me PIGS ON THE LOOSE A half­naked 43 year old man stole an ambulance with four passengers in it by pretending to be a secret agent. "I'm secret police, I'm injured, and I'm on a secret mission,"blabbed the shirt­ less and barefooted James Bond wannabee in the town of Vélez­Malaga as he stole the vehicle.

Leaping into the driver's seat, the barefoot bandit ordered the astonished patients to fasten their safety belts before turning on the emergency lights and setting off. When the passengers asked who he was and what he was doing, he told them he was on a secret mission then pretended to talk to the police via the ambulance's radio.

The thief had taken advantage of a slip by the ambulance's real driver who had left the vehicle with the engine running while he went back inside to pick up some documentation.

The driver spotted the interloper making off with his ambulance and immediately called the police who head­ ed straight for the scene.

Benidorm Council has declared war against a colony of Vietnamese pigs that have based themselves in the Armanello area of the town. El Mundo newspaper reports that the colony was first detected there last summer with at least 80 of the unsocia­ ble porkers causing trouble.

The animals were brought into the area as pets but were since abandoned, when they They arrived to find the realised that the pigs grew to ambulance being intercept­ a large size and that the own­ ed by the real driver after a ers could not cope. A number total trip of less than 1 thou­ of road accidents have been caused by the sand metres. All four pas­ loose animals, though with no fatalities to the sengers were unharmed, drivers and passengers. Up to 400 calls whilst police arrested the have been received by the authorities over man, who was said to have the last year from concerned citizens spot­ no driving licence, and ting “wild boars” on their properties, with the charged him with motor pigs also scavenging around hotels and vehicle theft and reckless tourist accommodation looking for food. driving.

LONG SCHOOL DAYS

Spanish kids fin­ ish school much later in the day than anywhere else in Europe, and nearly always go on to take evening class­ es afterwards, says a commission set up to research a possible change in working hours.

Whilst children elsewhere in Europe finish their school day between 1.30pm, and 3.00pm on average, Italian pupils do not clock off until 4.30pm and in Spain, until 5.00pm.

Spanish children under 12 typically work a 9 to 5 day, with their two­hour lunch break from noon to 2.00pm starting whilst their par­ ents are still at work and finishing just as mum and dad come home for their midday rest. High school pupils normally have a con­ tinuous 8.00am to 2.00pm day with short scheduled breaks.

The National Commission for Reasonable Hours in Spain examined school starting and finishing times in the UK, Germany, Belgium, Finland, The

Benidorm Council have been given per­ mission to shoot the pigs on sight, after rul­ ing out trying to home the animals in shel­ ters, due to a lack of space and facilities.

Two sweeps in the last month have seen 25 of the Vietnamese pigs shot dead, with more planned involving a hunter accompanied by two local police officers.

STUB IT OUT

Underage teenage smok­ ers will have their cigarettes confiscated if they are caught lighting up in Ibiza and Formentera. From today, even carrying ciga­ rettes or roll­your­own tobacco is enough to get under­18s into hot water with the police and with their parents, and officers will take any lighters, rolling papers or other related items away from the offend­ ing children.

Netherlands, Sweden, Portugal and Italy as This means young holidaymakers from well as for Spanish children, and found the countries where smoking is permitted for latter have the longest days in the class­ youths, will have to abstain from their habit room. until they get home. Authorities admit the Some schools in Spain intend to revamp regional law, which as yet only applies to two their hours from next September’s start of the islands, will be difficult to enforce, since new academic year, starting at 9.00am and there is no national legislation which makes running until 2.00pm with short playtimes but it a crime for under­18s to smoke in the no lunch hour. The Commission, however, street, as it only bans them from actually says it cannot envisage this catching on, buying cigarettes. because finishing school at 2.00pm or But police in Ibiza and Formentera have 3.00pm would be very difficult for parents as chosen to interpret Article 60 of the Balearic Spanish working hours mean adults do not Minors Law, which states that authorities will clock off until between 7.00pm and 9.00pm. intervene in the event of 'any situation which

could present minor or major harm to the physical health' of a child or underage teenager, in its strictest possible sense.

Officers will treat the situation exactly the same as if they found a member of the public consuming or in possession of illegal drugs, with the exception that the children's parents will be given 15 days to collect the cigarettes and lighters if they want them back. Parents who knowingly allow their children to smoke, or turn a blind eye to it, will be summoned to appear before the social services at their local council. They could then be charged with child neglect.

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Friday, May 30, 2014

GOING, GOING, GONE!

6 clients of Help at Home Mar Menor will be able to have physiothera­ py in the comfort of their own homes after close to 600 Euros were raised at a recent auction. The event at La Zona in Los Narejos

packed in a crowd keen to grab a bargain with Joanne Scott from La Zona picking up the gavel and acting as the auction­ eer in both English and Spanish.

HAH organiser and vol­

unteer, Carole Duff said “It was such a fun event, and as all the items for sale were donated to us, all of the money will go back in the community helping us to continue our FREE services to the local area.”

CAMPOVERDE CHARITY

The Reef Band provided the enter­ tainment in a recent fund­raising evening in support of the Campoverde branch of the cancer charity, AECC. 370 Euros were raised at the Lo Monte Hotel, Pilar de la Horadada.

HIGHWAY HELP

The HighWay Ministries are coming to Torrevieja to help people who have caught themselves up in a range of addictions including drug and alcohol abuse as well as crime and anti­social behav­ iour. The Ministry,v featuring Sammy and Bobby Abraham (pictured), reaches out to street kids; the homeless; the depressed and lonely; as well as the poor and elderly.

The Abrahams will be at Torrevieja’s International Christian Assembly’s church on Monday June 9th for an evening of music and gospel readings. For more details call 966 752 543.

IN THE PINK

Playa Flamenca goes all pink this Sunday (June 1st) as Maria and the Pink Ladies stage their annual Walk for Life. The promenade will be the venue for the start of the event at 10.30am in front of Surfers Bar, with a 5 km route around the area that can be walked, run, skipped, or pushed, with the added bonus of the Orihuela­ based Club Atletismo Tragamillas joining in

KIDS HELPED

Local youngsters and their parents have got a 2 thousand Euro boost thanks to a donation from Help Murcia Mar Menor. Help’s Honorary Patron, Lady Elisabeth Hebdige, handed over the money to Aidemar director, Miguel Andreu, which will be used to equip a new San Javier centre aimed at young children.

Aidemar was formed in 1982 to help the par­ ents of children with incapacities, by providing the youngsters with rehabilitation and the par­ ents with respite. They currently look after 500 children and adults on a daily basis. A small house in San Javier is being converted at the moment, and the money from Help will be spent on beds and mattresses, with the centre scheduled to open in September.

HOWZAT?

CHARITY FOR CHARITY

San Fulgencio’s Alzheimer’s Association will be boosted by Studio 32’s production of Sweet Charity next week. The show features a range of colourful characters and some great songs including Big Spender and Rhythm of Life. The pro­ duction will be staged at the Cardenal Belluga Theatre in San Fulgencio between Thursday June 5th and Saturday June 7th, with the performance starting at 7.30pm. Tickets, which cost 6 Euros, can be bought from Ann on 966 318 019.

Casa del Cultura on Saturday 28th and Sunday 29th June, and not this weekend as

Maidens being bowled over with the occasional cover drive and turning deliv­ ery are the order of the day for the famous Richard Harris cricketing comedy, Outside Edge, which is being put on this Wednesday and Thursday(June 4th and 5h) at the Life Resort, Gran Alacant. This production is being staged by the GASP Theatre Group and tickets are available at just 7 Euros each by phoning 966 181 113 or via E­mail:­ gaspthe­ atre@hotmail.co.uk. Curtain up on both performances is at 7.30pm, and you can learn more about the group at www.gasp­theatre.org, who plan to make a substantial donation to Cruz Roja on the back of the two nights.

TOP FASHION

GRANNY’S RIGHT NIGHT

The Actors Studio pro­ duction of Granny’s Right Night will be per­ formed at the San Miguel

to run the course twice to make it a 10 km run for them. That means that around 700 fun and serious runners are expected to take part in the event, with the walkers being led by the Torrevieja Pipes and Drums. Walkers and runners can register on the day with cost being just 5 Euros, with all the proceeds going to the cancer­ fighting charity, AECC.

printed in The Courier last week. It must have been down to Granny’s excitement!

The catwalks are going to get a brush down and the models are all going to be on top form for a special Fashion Show in aide of the Paul Cunningham Nurses.

Quesada Country Club will host the event from 6.00pm on Thursday June 12th, with enter­ tainment provided by the singer, Emily Hullman, in addition to a BBQ and a wide

range of stalls. Tickets are just 4 Euros and can be bought from any of the Paul Cunningham shops in addition to the Quesada Country Club.

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Friday, May 30, 2014

20 MINUTE DINNERS

BACON AND PEA CHEESY RISOTTO Ingredients 2 x 175g packs Risotto Pronto quattro formaggi (we used Riso Gallo) 200g smoked lardons 200g frozen peas

45g Parmesan, grated

Method

1. Put 900ml boiling water into a large pan, tip in the two packs of risotto rice and cook for 7 minutes.

2. Meanwhile, fry the lar­ dons in a dry frying pan for 5 minutes until golden.

Add the lardons and peas to the rice and cook for 5 more minutes until the rice is tender and most of the liquid has been absorbed.

3. Serve with a sprinkle of grated Parmesan.

STICKY YAKITORI CHICKEN Ingredients 4tbsp dark soy sauce

3tbsp runny honey 2tbsp sherry vinegar 2tsp sesame oil 400g mini chicken breast fillets 1 bunch spring onions, trimmed, quartered 1tsp vegetable oil 280g packet Basmati rice (we used Vetee Dine In)

Method

1. Preheat the grill to high and line a grill pan with foil. Meanwhile, mix the soy sauce, honey, vinegar and sesame oil in a shallow dish.

2. Add the chicken and stir to coat completely in the soy mix­ ture.

3. Put the chicken and marinade on the lined grill pan and grill for 5 minutes. Turn the chicken, push up one end of the pan and arrange the spring onions on the other. Drizzle with vegetable oil and cook for 5 minutes.

4. Microwave rice according to packet instructions. Serve the chicken and spring onions with the rice.

SWEET CHILLI SWORDFISH WITH TENDERSTEM BROCCOLI Ingredients 300g baby new pota­ toes, halved 175g tenderstem broc­ coli 4 x 150g pieces sword­ fish steak 1tbsp rapeseed oil Juice of ½ lemon 4 Peppadew peppers, sliced 1tbsp sweet chilli sauce 1 garlic clove, crushed

Method

1. Bring the potatoes to the boil and cook for 10 minutes. Add

Friday, May 30, 2014 the tenderstem broccoli and cook for a further 5 minutes until the potatoes and broccoli are tender.

2. Meanwhile, season the swordfish steaks with salt and ground black pepper. Heat the oil in a frying pan, add the swordfish steaks and cook for 10 minutes, turning them occasionally, until just cooked.

3. Drizzle the lemon juice over the fish and add the sliced 4. Peppadew peppers, sweet chilli sauce and the garlic. Heat through for 2 minutes. Serve with the tenderstem broccoli and the new potatoes.

1tbsp sunflower oil 1 red onion, cut into thin wedges 3tbsp balsamic vinegar 1 concentrated beef gravy pot (we used Knorr) 2tsp cornflour mixed to a

POLENTA WITH SAUCY MUSHROOMS Ingredients 2tbsp olive oil 75g packet pancetta pieces 250g chestnut mushrooms, halved 2 garlic cloves, crushed 200g can tomatoes 1tbsp sun­dried tomato paste 2tbsp basil leaves, plus extra to garnish 400ml milk 100g instant polenta 75g Parmesan, grated

Method

1. Heat oil in a large fry­ ing pan, add pancetta and fry for 2 minutes.

Add the mushrooms and garlic and fry for 2 more minutes. Add the toma­ toes, tomato paste and basil, cover and simmer for 10 minutes, stirring occasionally.

2. Meanwhile, heat the milk in a pan. When it comes to the boil, slowly add the polenta, stirring continuously. Cook until it’s thickened to the consistency of porridge. Remove from the heat, season with salt and pepper and stir in the Parmesan.

3. Serve the mushroom mixture over the polenta. Garnish with basil leaves.

SAUSAGES WITH RED ONION GRAVY AND SWEET POTATO MASH Ingredients 750g sweet potato, peeled and diced 8 pork sausages

paste with 2tsp cold water 30g butter 3tbsp milk

Method

1. Pour boiling water from the kettle into a pan, add the sweet potato and bring back to the boil. Cook for 10­15 minutes until tender.

2. At the same time, fry the sausages in a dry frying pan or cook under the grill for 10 minutes until they’re browned and cooked through.

3. Meanwhile, heat the oil in a pan. Add the wedges of onion and cook over a medi­ um heat for 5 minutes to soft­ en. Stir in the balsamic vine­ gar, 300ml (½pt) water, the beef gravy pot and cornflour paste. Bring to the boil, stir­ ring, until thickened slightly.

Simmer for 5 minutes.

4. Drain the sweet potatoes, mash with the butter and milk, and then season with salt and freshly ground pep­ per. Serve with the sausages and onion gravy.

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Friday, May 30, 2014

Friday, May 30, 2014

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Friday, May 30, 2014

Friday, May 30, 2014

The Vista Card For great discounts, cut out The Vista Card below and present it to participating businesses

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Friday, May 30, 2014

Horoscopes Aries March 21 ­ April 19 “Evidence” is the word for today, Aries.

Everyone knows that you have a facility for spending your time thinking and ana­ lyzing. Today, on the other hand, you're going to be "seeing” things. They will be clear. It will no longer be necessary to study, ponder, and review from every angle. It's a little like you've just invented a new theory that repeatedly gets confirmed by others throughout the day.

Taurus April 20 ­ May 20 You will sail through this day on the gen­ tlest of breezes, Taurus. It's like you've just come back from a week in the country.

You're calm, refreshed, and relaxed, and no amount of trouble at work can shake the feeling. You see things in a more pos­ itive light. Problems that once seemed insurmountable now resolve themselves almost without your help. Lucky you!

Gemini May 21 ­ June 20 If you're looking for a new job, Gemini, perhaps this is the day you find it. "Lucky” is the word that sums up today! Without encouraging you to play the lottery, you can be pretty sure that you'll feel a surge of confidence. You'll be able to resolve big or small problems with practicality and ease. That's lucky enough, isn't it?

Cancer June 21 ­ July 22 You're filled with vitality today, Cancer. In other words, you're going to feel great about yourself! You're less afraid of meeting peo­ ple, and you have fewer doubts about every­ thing, including yourself! This is going to be a great day to consider working a little bit less and thinking a little bit more about what, specifically, is making you feel so good. That way, you can recreate the feeling tomorrow.

By Pandora Leo July 23 ­ August 22 You may have gotten a financial boost lately in the form of some sort of raise or reward, Leo. The day ahead will make you realize that more discipline and work will be necessary if you want to continue to prosper. There's no need for anxiety, but it's a good day to put together a strat­ egy for the future, one that's airtight, waterproof, and fail­safe!

Virgo August 23 ­ September 22 You're almost certainly in a phase of psycho­ logical transformation, Virgo, and there have recently been major changes in your circle of friends and associates. Today provides an opportunity to assess just where you are and how far you've come. For instance, you could be introduced to a new team that com­ pels you to display your talents. For an extrovert like you, this is right up your alley.

Libra September 23 ­ October 22 You might feel a little worn out right now, Libra, as if you haven't been getting enough vitamins or rest. Or you could feel like you're losing track of issues that are important to you, such as your chil­ dren's progress in school. You need to slow down a bit whether you want to or not. Today, give top priority to all the com­ monplace details of your daily life.

Scorpio October 23 ­ November 21 If you're in love, Scorpio, you'll love today.

You could plan for almost anything from a little trip together to a lifetime full of chil­ dren and grandchildren. Even though your foresight sometimes overcomes your spontaneity, let yourself yield to the unex­ pected a little bit. The future will be a bright contrast after the comparative gloom of the past few weeks.

Sagittarius November 22 ­ December 21 Sagittarius, you may feel a little tired and depressed over breakfast this morning.

Domestic responsibilities sometimes over­ load your spirit. How about treating your­ self to a short vacation ­ a little free time just for you? You can justify it because it's vital for your morale. Perhaps you can use the time off to draw up a weekly schedule and make your workload seem less daunt­ ing.

Capricorn December 22 ­ January 19 This would be a good day for you to sort out your business, Capricorn. You should file important papers and get rid of extra­ neous materials or trivia at work. Taking the time to do this will save you even more time in the long run. As for your love life, be expressive. Clear up any old mis­ understandings that could interfere with your pleasure. Above all, enjoy yourself!

Aquarius January 20 ­ February 18 This is going to be a good day to see the doctor, Aquarius, but not because you're sick. The atmosphere is ideal for getting a checkup. You've been using a lot of energy recently, and you'd be well advised to take care of your body a bit more right now. Don't be lazy about this.

Get up, eat a good breakfast, take a brisk walk, and face the day renewed.

Pisces February 19 ­ March 20 This should be a peaceful day for you, Pisces. Be sure to make the most of it, because it's the calm before the storm.

This could be a day of discussion and exchange with close friends or colleagues at work. It's ideal to tighten some of your professional ties. Some people might sud­ denly seem more reasonable than you imagined them to be, so listen up!

33

Friday, May 30, 2014

RICHARD CAVENDER

Bluemoon Solutions www.bluemoonsolutions.es

BlueMoon Solutions is the computer and IT services com­ pany on the Costa Blanca, they provide quality computer services at realistic prices and specialise in working with home users and small businesses.

Richard moved to Spain seven years ago hav­ ing left his management background behind in the UK and decided to use his IT skills to help home users and small businesses with their PC problems. Now a relaxed 'computer man' he is out and about in the Spanish sun every day, making house and shop calls and using his vast experience and qualifications to (usually) sort out the problem there and then. Computers are his hobby as well as his work so don’t be surprised to get an answer to your email in the early hours!

ADVICE: Morag was receiving message from Yahoo about ADVICE: Annika wanted to take a photograph of herself to attach to an email. her browser being unsupported.

Q

Dear Richard, every time I log into my e­mails I get a pop up "important notice". This says Internet Explorer 8 will stop supporting this version of Yahoo mail from 5th June. What does this mean and what can I do about it? Regards Morag

Q

Hi, I need to take a photograph of myself to send by email, I’ve tried to do this in Skype but I don’t seem to be able to download the photo, is there an easier way to do it?

A

Hi Morag, it sounds like you are using Windows XP – is that right?

If you are then the built in web brows­ er is very old and this is why you are receiving this message from Yahoo – you need to move to a new web browser and consider whether you want to upgrade your computer given that Windows XP no longer is supported

by Microsoft.

The following is an article written on the subject that might give you a bit of a better under­ standing of the situation. www.bluemoonsolutions.es/armageddon­coming­to­a­windows­xp­machine­near­you

ADVICE: Bryan was having problems with the ink in his Epson printer Hi Richard, I have recently replaced the ink cartridges on my Epson photo stylus SX425 printer and now it will not print. The ink warning light is on and if I click on check ink levels it shows 4 empty cartridges with crosses in them. I have tried switching the printer off and have taken the cartridge out and put them back in to no avail. Can you advise on what else I can do. Regards, Bryan.

Q A

Hi Bryan, it sounds like the car­ tridges are incompatible with your printer, do you have both compati­ ble and original cartridges mixed in the same printer?

The help section of the www.spanishink.com website can be very helpful in resolving prob­ lems like this, here is a link to an article that will help you figure out the problem http://tinyurl.com/spanishink

Don’t forget you can follow me on twit­ ter @bluemoonspain Alternately why don’t you sign up for my newsletter. You can do this by going to:­ www.bluemoonsolutions.es and fill in the form that is on any page except the front page.

A

If you want to take a picture of yourself using your webcam you can do it using the following website… http://webcamtoy.com …once you have taken the picture, you can click the save button to download it to your com­ puter and then from there you can attach it to an email.

Hope this helps.

ADVICE: Lucy was having problems with a RUN DLL error when she started her computer Hi Richard, about 2 months ago every time I switch on my laptop a message saying "RunDLL ­ The specified module could not be found" keeps on popping up. What is it and why it keeps on coming on.

Q A

Hi Lucy, this error relates to a program on your computer that is running at start up, attempting to access a Windows system process or set of files, it could be something as simple as a bad manufacturers update or it could be something more suspicious like a Trojan or virus. In this instance I would suggest that you have someone come and look at the problem first hand and give you advice on the best way to resolve it.

office@bluemoonsolutions.es www.bluemoonsolutions.es Mobile: 655 044 970

Office: 902 906 200

34

Friday, May 30, 2014

CAPTAIN SLOW Earn £200 a month TAKES THE PLUNGE with F1-style ads

Petrolheads will be up in arms at the per­ ceived betrayal of the petrolhead code of conduct by James May, as he reveals he’s buying in to electric cars by getting a range­ extender version of the BMW i3 EV. James has revealed – on BBC R4′s You & Yours Bank Holiday Special ­ that he feels electric cars now work perfectly well apart from a decent recharging infrastructure, so he’s taking the coward’s way out by opting for the range­extender version of the i3.

It’s a very sensible route for May to take, and not at all contrary to Top Gear’s problem with EVs. The problem with electric cars is not that they’re useless, but that they’re useless as a

replacement for the ICE car.

If you have deep enough pockets to afford an electric car as a city car for blatting round town, running to the shops, dropping the kids at school or anything that means staying rel­ atively close to home, an electric car is per­ fect.

But with prices still silly – and the technol­ ogy, particularly the battery technology, far from properly mature – you’ll need another car for doing proper journeys.

That’s where the deep pockets come in to play, and for James May that means using his Ferrari when he wants to go further afield.

The best of both worlds.

Caterham up for sale for £350 million

Caterham’s foray in to F1 hasn’t been much of a suc­ cess, with not a single point on the F1 board since they arrived in 2010 as Lotus Racing.

Now, after warning back in January that he would walk away from F1 if the Caterham team’s perform­ ance on track didn’t improve, it looks like Fernandes is ready to walk away from Caterham altogether.

Reuters is reporting the Edge Malaysia newspaper is claiming a document is cir­ culating round the Middle

East outlining the offer of Caterham for sale and look­ ing for bids in the region of £350 million.

The deal will also include Caterham Cars, where the new Caterham AeroSeven Concept (pictured above)

previewed a new Caterham for 2014, and where there are bold plans to build new cars with Renault Alpine as well as a new Caterham City Car and SUV. The desire to move on from Caterham could explain the scenario we cur­ rently have where, despite an agreement to co­develop a new road cars between Caterham and Renault Alpine, both parties have pulled away and stated they will be pursuing their own path.

Could it be Renault got wind of Fernandes’ plans and decided to pull the plug?

A new company is offering drivers the opportunity to make money from turning their cars into moving billboards, just like F1.

Car Quids says motorists can earn between £100 and £200 a month by renting out space on their cars including stickers on windscreens, doors and bonnets or a full car wrap.

Owners agree to take part and Car Quids will match them with a suitable advertiser.

The ads are professionally applied but they can be removed at home once the deal ends.

Owners will also have the opportunity to turn down any advertisers that they don't agree with before they're plastered on their cars. To carry ads, cars must be kept in

good condition.

The company is also launching a unique car lease scheme whereby drivers can pay just £40 a month to lease a car with the total fee subsidised by adverts on the car.

After an upfront fee is paid ­ around £650 for a small car ­ customers can lease it for the reduced rate for as long as advertise­ ments are in place.

As an example, Car Quids said a Ford Fiesta 1.25 Style 3dr manual petrol hatch­ back would cost the driver just £39.90 a month as opposed to £126.90 over four years.

Drivers would still need to pay the upfront fee, insurance, maintenance, MoT and road tax while each car can do 8,000 miles before incurring excess mileage fees.

Friday, May 30, 2014

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36

Friday, May 30, 2014

CODE CRACKER Code Cracker is a crossword puzzle with no clues; instead, every letter of the alphabet has been replaced by a number, the same number representing the same letter throughout the puzzle. All you have to do is decide which letter is represented by which number. In this week’s puzzle, 4 represents Q and 10 represents Z, when these letters have been entered throughout the puzzle, you should have enough information to start guessing words and discovering other letters.

QUICKIE

Across

Down

1/1D Closely cropped hair­ style (4,3) 3 Devout (5) 8 Piece of land (7) 9 End parts of sleeves (5) 10 Fashion (5) 11 Deduce (7) 12 Demand (6) 14 Jockey shorts (6) 17 Betrayer (7) 19 Crush (5) 21 Sharp metal projection (5) 22 Discolour (7) 24 Tiny arachnids (5) 25 Joke (4)

1 See 1 Across 2 Ahead of time (5) 3 Penalise (6) 4 Happen (5) 5 Be enough (7) 6 Tags (6) 7 Evaluates (8) 10 Light­headed (8) 13 Sports ground (7) 15 Account (6) 16 Free (6) 18 Robbery (5) 20 Select group (5) 23 Head covering (3)

Last weeks Solution

Across: 1 Sociable, 5 Pass, 9 Bliss, 10 Premier, 11 Odd, 12 Infer, 13 Scary, 14 Bigot, 17 Year, 19 Mesh, 21 Spent, 24 Stout, 25 Incur, 27 Cot, 28 Regatta, 29 Terse, 30 Mate, 31 Fearless.

Down: 1 Subsidy, 2 Chief, 3 Absorb, 4 Lapdog, 6 Agitate, 7 Sorry, 8 Feast, 15 Imp, 16 Own, 18 Amongst, 20 Harness, 21 State, 22 Escape, 23 Titter, 24 Scram, 26 Carve.

Scribble Pad

DOUBLE CROSS-WORD Solve the Double Cross­Word puzzle using either the standard or cryptic clues, the answers are exactly the same.

Down CRYTPIC CLUES 1 We use Sid to write lyric Across 8 Doctor with a jab, not poetry for us (5) 2 The Queen brings in completely harsh (7) 9 I love messy, oily one (5) ‘Rule Britannia’ composer 10 Not exactly the nicest for profitable scheme (6) 3 Start playing new super day for our group (9) kit (6,2) 11 Does Royal Mail accept 4 A predicament caused by payment in fish? (3) disorderly capers (6) 12 Rail transport that is 5 Greater rebuilt Rome (4) intended for cheese (4) 6 Spiteful times concealing 13 Before much time has desire (6) elapsed a nobleman takes 7 Sheet used to cultivate flowers (7) that over there (5,2) 14 Takes into account the 16 Pickpocket is returning appearance of spectres (8) to fashionable flat (7) 15 Musician paints his 19 Couch from the Courts heart out (7) of Appeal (4) 17 Television show that 22 Ron goes back for con­ sounds corny? (6) 18 Force the last of you junction (3) 23 Fine pottery, or a pencil, into evening wear (6) 20 Ensign aboard vessel? perhaps (9) (6) 24 The road to the rescue 21 Chef in kitchen returns boat is harsh (5) with a weapon (5) 25 Starts with groups over 23 Keep making a little dog the side (4,3) (4) STANDARD CLUES Down Across 1 Type of poet (5) 8 Forceful and extreme and 2 Breadwinner (6) 3 Start playing music (6,2) rigorous (7) 4 Scratch repeatedly (6) 9 Small green fruit (5) 5 Additional (4) 10 Association (9) 6 Spitefully critical (6) 11 Food fish (3) 7 Straw in a stable (7) 12 French cheese (4) 14 Esteems (8) 13 From the start (5,2) 15 Type of musician (7) 16 Tasteless (7) 17 Continuing story (6) 19 Settee (4) 18 Compulsory force or 22 Neither (3) threat (6) 23 Ceramic ware (9) 20 Large wine bottle (6) 21 Cutting instrument (5) 24 Bare (5) 23 Chinese lap dog (4) 25 Detonates (4,3) Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Smew, 4 Athos, 9 Israeli, 10 Blini, 11 Hated, 12 Bayonet, 13 Stolen, 15 Hot rod, 19 Pitcher, 21 Elbow, 23 Gamma, 24 Braille, 25 Nidus, 26 Mayo.

Down: 2 Merit, 3 Wheedle, 4 Akimbo, 5 Hobby, 6 Spinner, 7 Lights, 8 Gift, 14 Ottoman, 16 Over arm, 17 Downer, 18 Tribes, 19 Page, 20 Hoard, 22 Billy.

FILL IT IN

Complete the crossword grid by using the given words:

3 letter words Doe Hem Ire 4 letter words Ages Aide Ales Alga Anti Arch Bent Cued Dice Dogs Dole

Done Edge Espy Even Gods Hire Lava Lest Lode Mods Nook Ocas Odds Once Ones Open Pale Scud

Shoe Skat Slab Step Tale Team Toed 5 letter words Angst Anode Bevel Canoe Coals Deedy Deter Domes Early

Ennui Enrol Epics Gelid Idler Indie Kudos Nosed Onion Recap Rheas Ridge Roach Seeds Tools Ulcer 6 letter words

Astral Beside Darnel Eatery Heresy Horses Redeye Spotty 7 letter words Altered Passkey Seeders Uveitis 8 letter words Pastoral Personal

SPANISH-ENGLISH CROSSWORD

Improve your Spanish ­ clues in Spanish, answers in English or vice versa.

Across 1 Médico (6) 4 Pajitas (para beber) (6) 7 Esencial (9) 9 Este (costa) (4) 10 Mentiroso (4) 11 Glasses (for drinking) (5) 13 Trains (railway) (6) 14 Envelopes (6) 15 To put out (fire, can­ dle, match) (6) 17 Tormentas (6) 19 Sexos (géneros) (5) 20 Wave (in sea, lake) (4) 22 Silk (4) 23 Olives (9) 24 Linen cupboard (6) 25 Rescate (en incendio, naufragio) (6)

Down 1 Derrota (6) 2 Prueba (análisis) (4) 3 Wheels (6) 4 Places (6) 5 Royal (4) 6 Tiburones (zoológico) (6) 7 Emerald (9) 8 Bibliotecas (edificios) (9) 11 Candles (5) 12 Clasifica (5) 15 To worship (6) 16 Receipt (6) 17 To follow (pursue) (6) 18 Estatua (6) 21 Dolor (4) 22 Sierras (herramien­ tas) (4)

37

Friday, May 30, 2014 Across 1/26 Time at the begin­ ning and end of the work­ ing day when many people are travelling to or from work (4,4) 3 Large dark winged insect, the male of which has large branched jaws that resemble antlers (4,6) 10 American name for babies’ nappies (7) 11 Person who holds the position of head of the gov­ ernment in the UK (7) 12 Document certifying the successful completion of a course of study (7) 13 American name for a long, thin, cheap cigar (6) 15 Hard creamy­white substance composing the main part of the tusks of an elephant, walrus or nar­ whal (5) 16 Mild or indirect word or expression substituted for one considered to be too harsh or blunt when referring to something unpleasant or embarrass­

ing (9) 18 Large semi aquatic reptile similar to a croco­ dile but with a broader and shorter head, native to the Americas and China (9) 21 Surname of the last woman to be executed in the UK (5) 23 Fastest pace of a horse or other quadruped, with all the feet off the ground together in each stride (6) 25 Smallest of the four main islands of Japan (7) 27 Stone pillar having a rectangular cross section tapering towards a pyrami­ dal top (7) 28 Japanese island that was the scene of a cam­ paign in the closing days of World War II in the Pacific (April to June 1945) (7) 29 Joe South song that was a UK Top 20 hit single for both Lynn Anderson and New World in 1971 (4,6) 30 Edge tool used to cut

SUDOKU (Easy)

Quiz Word

and shape wood (4) Down 1 Migratory butterfly that

has dark wings marked with red bands and white spots (3,7) 2 1975 American satiri­

cal romantic comedy film starring Warren Beatty as George Roundy, a suc­ cessful Beverly Hills hair­ dresser (7) 4 Legal document declaring a person’s wish­ es regarding the disposal of their property when they die (9) 5 Stares with one’s mouth open wide in amazement or wonder (5) 6 Something that is very ugly, especially a building (7) 7 Capital and largest city of Georgia on the Kura river (7) 8 American poet and critic, resident in Europe between 1908 and 1945, whose notable works include Hugh Selwyn Mauberley (1920) and Cantos (series, 1917–70): ­­­­ Pound (4) 9 Song from the musical Cats that has been a UK hit single for Elaine Paige (twice) and Barbra

Streisand (6) 14 Deprive a man of his male role or identity (10) 17 Apparatus consisting of a tube attached to a set of mirrors or prisms, by which an observer, typical­ ly in a submerged subma­ rine or behind a high obstacle, can see things that are otherwise out of sight (9) 19 Leather shoes shaped like moccasins, with flat heels (7) 20 Castrated male horse (7) 21 Hypothetical sub­ stance that the alchemists believed to be capable of changing base metals into gold (6) 22 Large feline of African and Asian forests usually having a tawny coat with black spots (7) 24 UK number one hit single in 2009 for Lady Gaga: ­­­­­ Face (5) 26 See 1 Across

SALLY’S SIMPLE SPANISH

REGALOS ­ PRESENTS Match these words with their Spanish translations then find them in the wordsearch.

(Answers below)

abrir

la caja

agradecer

la fiesta

celebrar

la sorpresa

el champán

la tarjeta

el cumpleaños

la tarta

el moño

los chocolates

el papel de regalo

flores

felicitar

sonreir

geography QUIZ

ANSEWRS 1. San Diego 2. Wellington 3. Mexico City 4. Burma 5.

London 6. Finland 7. Addis Ababa 8. China (16) 9. The Singapore Sling 10. Sea of Japan 11. Kilimanjaro 12.

Ecuador 13. Portugese 14. Bengal 15. Paris

Last Week’s Solutions Code Cracker Last weeks Quiz Word Solution Across: 1 Test tube, 5 Skates, 10 Charmer, 11 O’Connor, 12 Alias, 13 Anchorage, 14 Power Station, 18 Travel agents, 21 Tentacles, 23 Crane, 24 Have A Go, 25 Utopian, 26 Salute, 27 Tenement.

Down: 1 Tictac, 2 Stalin, 3 Tombstone, 4 Barrage balloon, 6 Kyoto, 7 Tanzania, 8 Sergeant, 9 Worcester sauce, 15 Artichoke, 16 Stitches, 17 Carnival, 19 Malice, 20 Rennet, 22 Abaft.

Empareja estas palabras ­ Match the Spanish and English words You will find the answers at the bottom of the quiz.

1.abrir, 2.agradecer, 3.celebrar,

15.flores, 16.sonreir.

j.to open, k.to smile, l.flowers,

4.el champán, 5.el cumpleaños,

a.the card, b.the box,

m.the bow, n.the surprise,

6.el moño, 7.el papel de regalo,

c.the birthday, d.the chocolates,

o.the wrapping paper,

8.felicitar, 9.la caja, 10.la fiesta,

e.the cake, f.to celebrate,

p.to thank.

11.la sorpresa, 12.la tarjeta,

g.to congratulate,

13.la tarta, 14.los chocolates,

h.the champagne, i.the party,

Soduko

Span ­ Eng

Quizword

Answers: 1j, 2p, 3f, 4h, 5c, 6m, 7o, 8g, 9b, 10i, 11n, 12a, 13e, 14d, 15l, 16k.

1. If you landed at Lindberg airport where are you?

2. Which City Is The Capital Of New Zealand?

3. What's the oldest capital city in the Americas?

4. In what country is Mandalay?

5. What Is The Most Popular English City?

6. Suomi is the name the natives give to what country?

7. What Is The Capital Of Ethiopia Called?

8. Which Country Has The Most Countries Bordering It? 9. Which Famous Cocktail Was Invented At The Raffles Hotel In The Far East Around 1910?

10. Vladivostok stands on what body of water?

11. Which East African Mountain Has A Swahili Name Mountain Of The God Of Cold?

12. Guayaquil is the largest city in what country?

13. What Nationality Was Vasco Da Gama?

14. Into what bay does the Ganges River flow?

15. where is le Figaro published?

Fill It In

38

Friday, May 30, 2014

TRELI ON THE TELLY with ALEX TRELINSKI Thank heavens that it’s all over for Tina McIntyre and that ridiculous Corrie plot of her trying to fancy an over the hill drunk whose track record with women, including being a bigamist, would make Katie Price appear to be a pillar of virtue.

It’s not been Coronation Street’s finest hour with this meandering unrealistic story­ line which has not done jus­ tice to Michelle Keegan‘s tal­ ents, who prior to this point­ less plot, has been outstand­ ing since she made her debut on the cobbles some five years ago. The lack of credibility that she would go for such a prune like Peter Barlow made it plod along in sheer boredom, and thank heavens we have been put out of our misery. At least the British Soap Awards allowed us the chance to remember how fantastic Coronation Street can be with David Neilson and Julie

TA TA TINA

Hesmondhalgh rightly sweeping up the honours for the brilliant Roy and Hayley storyline.

q

BBC Two’s 50th birth­ day celebrations seem to be running longer than those for an African dictator, but there are no complaints about two top compilation shows last weekend. Joanna Lumley narrated a look back at the great comedy shows that the channel created

(Fawlty Towers tops my list), and then a very entertaining Harry Enfield and Paul Whitehouse spoof history, with some wonderful impres­ sions and send­up’s. The only problem with shows like these is that they remind you how sub­standard a lot of programming on BBC Two is these days, certainly in the field of comedy and enter­ tainment.

q

Nostalgia seems to be the in­thing and we are taken back to the sixties by Sky Atlantic’s new comedy drama, Mr. Sloane. Nick Frost is excellent as the title character who loses his job, and his wife (played by the Omni­present Olivia Colman, who at this rate will take over from Jeremy Paxman at Newsnight!). It’s a gentle foray to a different time and an enjoyable watch which in a past era would have easily fitted into BBC Two’s sched­ ules.

hesitation in returning to mentioning this, as along with 24 and The Good Wife, this is very much my viewing highlight of the week.

Everything is coming togeth­ er nicely in terms of the zillion plots, and Peter Dinklage continues to steal the lot in his performance as Tyrion.

I’ve not read the books, so I hope he manages to escape It’s been a week off for the Grim Reaper, because Game of Thrones on the show would not be the Sky Atlantic and I have no same without him.

q

q

Hallelujah! CSI returns to Channel Five this Tuesday after a ridiculous wait and time delay com­ pared to US viewers, and then Five wonder why the ratings are down because diehard fans have already watched it on­line.

Meanwhile, the BBC have announced that Doctor Who will return in August, with rave reviews and all kinds of superlatives doing the rounds for the new man in the role, Peter Capaldi.

Friday May 30 00:35 The Crossing Guard 02:20 Holiday Weatherview 02:25 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Fake Britain 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Caught Red Handed 12:30 Call the Council 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 The Link 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:30 Hairy Bikers' Best of British 17:30 Antiques Road Trip 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 DIY SOS 22:00 Have I Got News for You 22:30 Room 101 23:00 BBC News 23:25 BBC Regional News and Weather 23:35 The Graham Norton Show 30/05 00:20 BBC2 00:20 Welcome to Rio 01:20 Thalidomide ­ The Fifty Year Fight 02:20 This Is BBC Two 04:55 Schools ­ Children at Work: Bollywood 05:20 Schools: The Charles Dickens Show ­ Child Labour 05:40 Schools ­ The Charles Dickens Show: Workhouse 06:00 The Little Promise

06:15 Loona Balloona 06:30 Jona's Ark 06:45 Schools ­ My Kite Is Flying 07:05 Homes Under the Hammer 08:05 Caught Red Handed 08:35 Call the Council 09:20 Don't Get Done, Get Dom 10:05 The Great British Sewing Bee 11:05 First Time on the Front Line 11:35 The Travel Show 12:00 BBC News 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 The A to Z of TV Gardening 13:05 Alvarez Kelly 14:50 Raymond Blanc's Kitchen Secrets 15:20 The Pallisers 16:15 Cash in the Attic 16:45 Big Cat Diary 17:15 Nature's Great Events 18:15 Flog It! 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip 20:30 Great British Menu 21:00 The Minster 21:30 Gardeners' World 22:00 The Story of Women and Art 23:00 QI 23:30 Newsnight

01:00 04:00 04:45 06:05 Views 07:00 09:30 10:25 11:30 13:30 14:30 14:55 15:00 16:00 16:59 17:00 18:00 19:00 19:30 20:00 20:30 23:10 23:40 23:45

Jackpot247 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA ITV Nightscreen Rory Bremner's Great British Good Morning Britain Lorraine The Jeremy Kyle Show This Morning Loose Women ITV News and Weather ITV News Meridian Jo Frost Family Matters Dickinson's Real Deal ITV Meridian Weather Ejector Seat The Paul O'Grady Show ITV News Meridian ITV News and Weather Emmerdale Live International Football ITV News and Weather ITV News Meridian Casino Royale

LIVE INTERNATIONAL FOOTBALL England v Peru (Kick­off 9.00pm). Adrian Chiles presents coverage of the friendly at Wembley Stadium, where England play their final home match before the World Cup.

00:05 The Island with Bear Grylls 01:05 24 Hours in A&E 02:00 Embarrassing Bodies: Live from the Clinic 02:55 Random Acts 03:00 Man vs Weird 03:55 Time Team 04:50 Unreported World 05:15 Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners 06:10 SuperScrimpers 06:35 Hugh's 3 Good Things 07:00 Countdown 07:45 According to Jim 08:10 3rd Rock from the Sun 08:35 The King of Queens 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 11:00 Undercover Boss Australia 12:00 Come Dine with Me Down Under 14:40 French Collection 15:40 Countdown 16:30 Deal or No Deal 17:30 Draw It! 18:00 Four in a Bed 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:35 Unreported World 21:00 Marvel's Agents of SHIELD 22:00 Peter Kay Live at the Manchester Arena 23:00 Alan Carr: Chatty Man

00:00 The 16­year­old Baby 01:00 SuperCasino 04:05 Bangkok Brits 05:00 House Doctor 05:45 Divine Designs 06:10 Wildlife SOS 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Family!

08:00 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Police Interceptors 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Cowboy Builders 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 Unstable 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 Ice Road Truckers: Deadliest Roads 21:00 Eddie Stobart: Trucks and Trailers 22:00 NCIS 23:00 NCIS: Los Angeles 23:55 Bangkok Brits

39

Saturday May 31 07:35 The Pallisers 00:20 Uncle 00:50 EastEnders 02:45 Weatherview 02:50 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 11:00 Saturday Kitchen Live 12:30 Nigellissima 13:00 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:15 Escape to the Country 15:00 Live Triathlon 18:10 How to Train Your Dragon 19:40 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 20:00 Pointless Celebrities 20:50 The National Lottery: In It to Win It 21:40 Casualty 22:30 Mrs Brown's Boys 23:00 BBC News; Weather 23:20 Prince of Persia: the Sands

08:30 Great British Menu 09:00 Great British Menu 09:30 Great British Menu 10:00 Great British Menu 10:30 Great British Menu 11:00 World Cup Films 12:30 Great British Railway Journeys 13:00 Two Greedy Italians 14:00 Talking Pictures 14:35 Build My Gallows High 16:05 Fire Down Below 18:00 Flog It! 19:00 Natural World 20:00 The Culture Show 21:00 Fawlty Towers 21:35 The Goodies 22:05 I Love 1973 23:05 Top of the Pops Christmas 1978

02:20 Jackpot247 04:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 04:40 ITV Nightscreen 07:00 Fort Boyard Ultimate Challenge 07:25 Dino Dan: Trek's Adventures 07:50 Canimals 08:05 Sooty 08:20 Digimon Fusion 08:45 Horrid Henry 09:00 Adventure Time 09:25 ITV News 09:30 Weekend 10:25 The Hungry Sailors 11:20 Murder, She Wrote 12:15 ITV News and Weather 12:24 ITV Meridian Weather 12:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 13:20 Storage Hoarders 14:20 Beethoven's 5th 16:05 60 Minute Makeover 17:05 Off Their Rockers 17:35 Tipping Point: Lucky Stars 18:35 ITV News Meridian 18:45 ITV News and Weather 19:00 Let Me Entertain You 19:30 New You've Been Framed!

20:00 Britain's Got Talent 21:30 World Cup Epic Fails 22:30 Britain's Got Talent Results 23:00 ITV News and Weather 23:19 ITV Meridian Weather 23:20 The Americans

00:05 Rude Tube 01:05 Brooklyn Nine­Nine 01:30 Hot Shots!

02:55 Random Acts 03:00 Southland 03:45 Desperate Housewives 04:25 Four Rooms 05:20 SuperScrimpers 05:40 Hugh's 3 Good Things 06:05 Kirstie's Handmade Treasures 06:10 Deal or No Deal 07:05 The Hoobs 07:30 Trans World Sport 08:30 FIM Superbike World Championship 09:00 The Morning Line 10:00 Weekend Kitchen 11:00 Frasier 11:55 The Big Bang Theory 12:50 The Simpsons 13:45 Marvel's Agents of SHIELD 14:40 Channel 4 Racing 17:10 Come Dine with Me 19:40 Channel 4 News 20:05 The Restoration Man 21:00 Grand Designs 22:00 Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance 23:50 The Firm

FAWLTY TOWERS

of Time

31/05 00:05 BBC2 00:05 Later ­ with Jools Holland 01:10 Valhalla Rising 02:35 Question Time

Basil goes to great lengths to prove to Sybil that a guest has smuggled a woman into his room.

Instead the hotelier keeps being caught in compro­ mising situations with a young Australian woman, and a visiting psychiatrist finds his increasingly manic behaviour both fascinating and alarming.

03:35 This Is BBC Two 07:00 This Is BBC Two

00:55 Access 01:00 SuperCasino 04:05 Ben Fogle's Animal Clinic 05:00 House Doctor 05:45 Divine Designs 06:10 Wildlife SOS 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Fifi and the Flowertots 07:25 Bubble Guppies 07:40 The Mr Men Show 07:50 Chloe's Closet 08:00 Roobarb and Custard Too 08:10 Bananas in Pyjamas 08:20 Make Way for Noddy 08:40 City of Friends 08:55 Little Princess 09:10 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:25 Angelina Ballerina 09:45 Rupert Bear 10:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:15 Jelly Jamm 10:30 LazyTown 11:00 Access 11:05 The Dog Rescuers 11:30 Classic Car Rescue 12:35 Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment 14:20 Raid on Rommel 16:15 The Dam Busters 18:45 What the Dambusters Did Next 20:00 Cricket 2014 21:00 5 News Weekend 21:10 Unfinished Business 21:55 NCIS 22:55 NCIS 23:55 NCIS

Sunday June 1 01:05 The Uninvited

00:05 The Old Grey Whistle Test:

02:25 Weatherview

70s Gold

02:30 BBC News

01:35 Mean Streets 03:20 This Is BBC Two

07:00 Breakfast

06:40 Beautiful but Dangerous

10:00 The Andrew Marr Show

08:05 The Pallisers

11:00 The Big Questions

09:00 Gardeners' World

12:00 Homes Under the Hammer

09:30 The Beechgrove Garden

13:00 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News 14:10 Weather for the Week Ahead

10:00 World Cup Films 11:40 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites 13:00 Live Rowing 14:45 The Victors

14:15 Countryfile

17:15 Live Women's FA Cup

15:10 Flog It!

Football

16:10 Escape to the Country

20:00 Tropic of Cancer

16:55 Brazil with Michael Palin

21:00 I Bought a Rainforest 22:00 Britain's Greatest Pilot: The

17:55 Points of View

Extraordinary Story of Captain

18:10 Songs of Praise

Winkle Brown

18:45 Pointless Celebrities

23:00 D­Day: The Last Heroes

19:30 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 20:00 Countryfile 21:00 Antiques Roadshow 22:00 Quirke 23:30 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 23:55 Live at the Apollo

00:15 The Americans 01:10 Jackpot247 04:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 04:45 ITV Nightscreen 07:00 Fort Boyard Ultimate Challenge 07:25 Dino Dan: Trek's Adventures 07:50 Canimals 08:05 Sooty 08:20 Digimon Fusion 08:45 Horrid Henry 09:00 Deadtime Stories 09:25 ITV News 09:30 Weekend 10:25 May the Best House Win 11:20 Murder, She Wrote 12:20 Love Your Garden 13:25 ITV News and Weather 13:29 ITV Meridian Weather 13:30 Long Lost Family 14:35 Columbo: Etude in Black 16:30 Let Me Entertain You 17:00 A Touch of Frost 19:00 You've Been Framed!

19:35 ITV News Meridian 19:45 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Catchphrase 21:00 Michael Flatley: A Night to Remember 22:00 Coronation Street 22:30 Quantum of Solace

I BOUGHT A RAINFOREST Wildlife cameraman Charlie Hamilton James has bought 100 acres of the Peruvian rainforest, a strate­ gic purchase he hopes will stop loggers entering the Manu National Park and illegally cutting down trees.

In the first edition, he establishes camp and gets his bearings, only to discover he has not bought the pristine virgin rainforest of his dreams, but instead an area of secondary forest complete with a squat­ ter, cocaine crops and evidence suggesting that he may have some dangerous neighbours.

02:45 Semi­Pro 04:15 Hollyoaks 06:20 Four Rooms 07:15 The Hoobs 07:40 British F3 International Series 08:10 How I Met Your Mother 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 10:30 Sunday Brunch 13:30 Secret Eaters 14:25 The Big Bang Theory 15:50 The Simpsons 16:50 Chalet Girl 18:40 Deal or No Deal 19:35 Channel 4 News 20:00 Four Rooms 21:00 For the Love of Cars 22:00 Fargo 23:05 The Change­Up

00:55 Access 01:00 SuperCasino 04:10 Criminals: Caught on Camera 05:00 Wildlife SOS 05:25 Make It Big 05:50 The Funky Valley Show 06:00 Angels of Jarm 06:10 Roary the Racing Car 06:20 Angels of Jarm 06:25 The Funky Valley Show 06:40 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Fifi and the Flowertots 07:25 Bubble Guppies 07:40 The Mr Men Show 07:50 Chloe's Closet 08:05 Roobarb and Custard Too 08:10 Bananas in Pyjamas 08:25 Make Way for Noddy 08:35 City of Friends 08:45 Milkshake! Bop Box 08:55 Little Princess 09:10 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:25 Angelina Ballerina 09:45 Rupert Bear 10:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:15 Jelly Jamm 10:30 LazyTown 11:00 Power Rangers Super Samurai 11:35 Power Rangers Megaforce 12:10 Access 12:25 Ultimate Police Interceptors 12:55 Street Fighter 14:50 Richie Rich 16:40 Big Daddy 18:25 Open Season 2 20:00 5 News Weekend 20:05 The Medallion 22:00 Resident Evil: Extinction 23:35 Blade II

40

Monday June 2 00:25 Ghost Town 02:00 Weatherview 02:05 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 D­Day 70: The Heroes Remember 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Fake Britain 12:30 Call the Council 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 The Link 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:30 Hairy Bikers' Best of British 17:30 Antiques Road Trip 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 World War One at Home 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 Panorama 22:00 Crimewatch 23:00 BBC News 23:25 BBC Regional News and Weather 23:35 Crimewatch Update 23:45 Have I Got a Bit More News for You 02/06 00:00 BBC2 00:00 D­Day: The Last Heroes 01:00 Battle in Seattle 02:35 Countryfile 03:30 Holby City

04:30 This Is BBC Two 07:05 Homes Under the Hammer 08:05 Caught Red Handed 08:35 Call the Council 09:20 Don't Get Done, Get Dom 10:05 The Planners 11:05 Real Lives Reunited 11:35 Click 12:00 BBC News 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Raymond Blanc's Kitchen Secrets 14:30 Breakaway 15:15 Coast 15:20 The Pallisers 16:15 Cash in the Attic 16:45 Big Cat Diary 17:15 Nature's Great Events 18:15 Flog It! 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Building Dream Homes 20:00 Great British Menu 21:00 Springwatch 22:00 A Very British Airline 23:00 The Culture Show 23:30 Newsnight

00:35 00:49 00:50 01:40 03:40 04:30 05:15 06:05 Views 07:00 09:30 10:25 11:30 13:30 14:30 14:55 15:00 16:00 16:59 17:00 18:00 19:00 19:30 20:00 20:30 21:00 21:30 22:00 23:00 23:30 23:35

ITV News and Weather ITV Meridian Weather Premiership Rugby Union The Store Motorsport UK The Jeremy Kyle Show USA ITV Nightscreen Rory Bremner's Great British Good Morning Britain Lorraine The Jeremy Kyle Show This Morning Loose Women ITV News and Weather ITV News Meridian Jo Frost Family Matters Dickinson's Real Deal ITV Meridian Weather Ejector Seat The Chase ITV News Meridian ITV News and Weather Emmerdale Coronation Street Gino's Italian Escape Coronation Street Secret Life of Cats ITV News at Ten and Weather ITV News Meridian Benidorm

01:10 02:35 03:20 04:15 04:40 05:35 06:30 07:00 07:45 08:10 08:35 09:00 10:00 11:00 12:00 Under 13:00 13:05 Under 14:40 15:40 16:30 17:30 18:00 19:00 19:30 20:00 21:00 21:30 22:00 23:00 Island 23:50

Meet the Spartans Southland Utopia Dog's Mercury Building the Dream Deal or No Deal Hugh's 3 Good Things Countdown According to Jim 3rd Rock from the Sun The King of Queens Everybody Loves Raymond Frasier Undercover Boss Australia Come Dine with Me Down Channel 4 News Summary Come Dine with Me Down French Collection Countdown Deal or No Deal Draw It! Come Dine with Me The Simpsons Hollyoaks Channel 4 News Dispatches Jamie's Money Saving Meals The Island with Bear Grylls Bear Grylls: Surviving the Dinner at 11

ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT & PROUD Documentary following people who have settled in the UK illegally and who have managed to live their lives largely under the radar of the authorities. At a refugee camp outside Calais, an Afghan gives a tour of the lorries he hopes will secure his passage into the UK, while trucker Tony Kozoil reveals the tricks illegal immigrants use to stow themselves away.

01:45 SuperCasino 04:10 Classic Car Rescue 05:00 House Doctor 05:25 Make It Big 05:50 The Funky Valley Show 06:00 Angels of Jarm 06:10 Roary the Racing Car 06:20 Angels of Jarm 06:25 The Funky Valley Show 06:40 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Family!

08:00 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:30 Milkshake! Monkey 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 09:55 Milkshake! Bop Box 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Police Interceptors 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Ben Fogle's Animal Clinic 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:20 NCIS 16:20 Murder 101: If Wishes Were Horses 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 Classic Car Rescue 21:00 DIY Dummies 22:00 Illegal Immigrant & Proud 23:00 Inside Broadmoor

Tuesday June 3 00:30 The Graham Norton Show 01:15 Weatherview 01:20 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 D­Day 70: The Heroes Remember 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Fake Britain 12:30 Call the Council 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 The Link 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:30 Hairy Bikers' Best of British 17:30 Antiques Road Trip 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 Holby City 22:00 Happy Valley 23:00 BBC News 23:25 BBC Regional News and Weather 23:35 A Question of Sport 03/06 00:20 BBC2 00:20 Burning Desire: The Seduction of Smoking 01:20 Watermen: A Dirty Business 02:20 This Is BBC Two 05:00 Britain's Great War 06:00 History Hunt

07:00 This Is BBC Two 07:05 Homes Under the Hammer 08:05 Building Dream Homes 08:35 Call the Council 09:20 Don't Get Done, Get Dom 10:05 Watchdog 11:05 Real Lives Reunited 11:35 HARDtalk 12:00 BBC News 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Raymond Blanc's Kitchen Secrets 14:30 The Super League Show 15:15 Coast 15:20 The Pallisers 16:15 Cash in the Attic 16:45 Big Cat Diary 17:15 The Bear Family and Me 18:15 Flog It! 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Building Dream Homes 20:00 Great British Menu 21:00 Springwatch 22:00 Welcome to Rio 23:00 QI 23:30 Newsnight

00:35 The Cube 01:30 Jackpot247 04:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 04:40 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 Rory Bremner's Great British Views 07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV News Meridian 15:00 Jo Frost Family Matters 16:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Ejector Seat 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 21:00 Quads: Our First Year 22:00 Secret Life of Babies 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV News Meridian 23:35 Daylight

QUADS: OUR FIRST YEAR This documentary follows the quadruplets' hectic first 12 months, from the precarious early weeks ­ born three months premature ­ through the demands of round­the­clock care, to the siblings' birthday celebrations.

00:50 Fargo 01:45 Scandal 02:30 Meet the Police Commissioner 03:30 The Audience 04:25 Building the Dream 05:20 Kirstie's Vintage Gems 05:35 Hugh's 3 Good Things 06:05 Deal or No Deal 07:00 Countdown 07:45 According to Jim 08:10 3rd Rock from the Sun 08:35 The King of Queens 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 11:00 Undercover Boss Australia 12:00 Come Dine with Me Down Under 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Come Dine with Me Down Under 14:40 French Collection 15:40 Countdown 16:30 Deal or No Deal 17:30 Draw It! 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 Location, Location, Location 22:00 The Complainers 23:00 Embarrassing Bodies: Live from the Clinic

00:00 The Devil's Advocate 02:00 SuperCasino 04:10 Minute by Minute 05:00 House Doctor 05:45 Divine Designs 06:10 Wildlife SOS 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Family!

08:00 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:10 Milkshake! Monkey 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:30 Milkshake! Bop Box 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Police Interceptors 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Classic Car Rescue 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 After the Fall 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 Gibraltar: Britain in the Sun 21:00 The Dog Rescuers 22:00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 23:00 Inside Broadmoor

41

Wednesday June 4 00:05 Room 101 ­ Extra Storage 00:50 Swingers 02:25 Weatherview 02:30 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 D­Day 70: The Heroes Remember 11:00 Best of Homes Under the Hammer 11:30 State Opening of Parliament 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 The Link 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:30 Hairy Bikers' Best of British 17:30 Antiques Road Trip 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 The One Show 21:00 Watchdog 22:00 Del Boys & Dealers 23:00 BBC News 23:25 BBC Regional News and Weather 23:35 Brazil: In the Shadow of the Stadiums

00:20 Britain's Greatest Pilot: The Extraordinary Story of Captain Winkle Brown 01:20 Ian Hislop's Olden Days ­ The Power of the Past in Britain 02:20 The Necessary War 03:20 This Is BBC Two

05:00 Tales from the Old Bailey 05:30 Schools ­ One Hundred Years of the Women's Movement 06:00 Schools ­ True Stories 07:00 Homes Under the Hammer 08:00 Building Dream Homes 08:30 Call the Council 09:15 Don't Get Done, Get Dom 10:00 Antiques Roadshow 11:00 Bang Goes the Theory 11:30 See Hear 12:00 Fake Britain 12:30 Call the Council 13:15 Instant Restaurant 14:00 Raymond Blanc's Kitchen Secrets 14:30 Breakaway 15:15 Coast 15:30 The Pallisers 16:25 Big Cat Diary 17:15 The Bear Family and Me 18:15 Flog It! 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Building Dream Homes 20:00 Great British Menu 21:00 Springwatch 22:10 Coast Australia 23:00 Episodes 23:30 Newsnight

01:40 Jackpot247 04:00 Loose Women 04:45 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 Rory Bremner's Great British Views 07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV News Meridian 15:00 Jo Frost Family Matters 16:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Ejector Seat 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Coronation Street 20:30 Live International Football 23:10 ITV News and Weather 23:40 ITV News Meridian 23:50 International Football Highlights

00:05 Coppers 01:05 Poker 02:00 KOTV Boxing Weekly 02:25 Trans World Sport 03:25 FIM Superbike World Championship 03:50 British F3 International Series 04:15 Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners 05:10 Building the Dream 06:05 Deal or No Deal 07:00 Countdown 07:45 According to Jim 08:10 3rd Rock from the Sun 08:35 The King of Queens 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 11:00 Undercover Boss Australia 12:00 Come Dine with Me Down Under 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Come Dine with Me Down Under 14:40 French Collection 15:40 Countdown 16:30 Deal or No Deal 17:30 Draw It! 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 Mary's Silver Service 22:00 24 Hours in A&E 23:00 My Last Summer

MARY'S SILVER SERVICE Mary Portas launches a pop­up employment agency for pensioners, encouraging them to dust off the skills they've spent a lifetime perfecting and return to work. In the first edition, the team's adverts for potential caterers generate a healthy response from retirees including former pub landlady Dawn, 68, veteran home cook Phyllis, 91, and Salim, 68, one­time head barman at the Savoy.

00:00 Body of Proof 01:00 Cricket 2014 02:00 SuperCasino 04:10 The Spy Who Brought Down Mary, Queen of Scots 05:00 House Doctor 05:45 Divine Designs 06:10 Wildlife SOS 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:55 Milkshake! Show Songs 08:00 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:10 Milkshake! Monkey 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:30 Milkshake! Bop Box 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Police Interceptors 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Trauma Doctors 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:20 NCIS: Los Angeles 16:20 Wild Hearts 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 The Nightmare Neighbour Next Door 21:00 Big Body Squad 22:00 The McCanns and the Conman 23:00 Jack Taylor

Thursday June 5 00:15 The Other Man 01:35 Weatherview 01:40 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 D­Day 70: The Heroes Remember 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Fake Britain 12:30 Call the Council 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:45 The Link 16:30 Escape to the Country 17:30 Antiques Road Trip 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 The Food Inspectors 22:00 From There to Here 23:00 BBC News 23:25 BBC Regional News and Weather 23:35 Question Time 05/06 00:20 BBC2 00:20 A Very British Airline 01:20 See Hear 01:50 The Story of Women and Art 02:50 This Is BBC Two 05:00 Schools ­ The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night­ time: From Page to Stage

06:00 Science of the Harvest 06:30 The Burrowers 07:00 This Is BBC Two 07:05 Homes Under the Hammer 08:05 Building Dream Homes 08:35 Call the Council 09:20 Don't Get Done, Get Dom 10:05 Escape to the Continent 11:05 Gardeners' World 11:35 HARDtalk 12:00 BBC News 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Two Greedy Italians 15:00 Breakaway 15:45 Cash in the Attic 16:30 Animal Park 17:15 The Bear Family and Me 18:15 Flog It! 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Building Dream Homes 20:00 Great British Menu 21:00 Springwatch 22:00 Springwatch Unsprung 2014 22:30 Burning Desire: The Seduction of Smoking 23:30 Newsnight

00:50 Corfu: A Tale of Two Islands 01:15 Jackpot247 04:00 The American President 05:50 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 Rory Bremner's Great British Views 07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV News Meridian 15:00 Jo Frost Family Matters 16:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Ejector Seat 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Tonight 21:00 Emmerdale 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Life of Ryan: Caretaker Manager 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV News Meridian 23:35 If I Don't Come Home ­ Letters from D­Day

CHANNEL 4'S COMEDY GALA The annual extravaganza, in aid of Great Ormond Street Hospital Children's Charity, returns for a fifth year to the O2 in London, promising an evening of top entertainment and laughter.

00:00 The Complainers 01:00 Mercury Prize Sessions 01:45 Alan Carr: Chatty Man 02:40 Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares USA 03:35 How to Steal a Million 05:40 Hugh's 3 Good Things 06:05 Deal or No Deal 07:00 Countdown 07:45 According to Jim 08:10 3rd Rock from the Sun 08:35 The King of Queens 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 11:00 Undercover Boss Australia 12:00 Come Dine with Me Down Under 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Come Dine with Me Down Under 14:40 French Collection 15:40 Countdown 16:30 Deal or No Deal 17:30 Draw It! 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 George Clarke's Amazing Spaces 22:00 Channel 4's Comedy Gala

01:00 Law & Order: Special Victims Unit 01:55 SuperCasino 04:10 The Man Who Ate Himself to Death 05:00 Great Artists 05:20 Great Scientists 05:45 Divine Designs 06:10 Wildlife SOS 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:55 Milkshake! Show Songs 08:00 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Police Interceptors 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 The Nightmare Neighbour Next Door 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 The Perfect Assistant 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 Police Interceptors 21:00 Angry Britain 22:00 Big Brother 23:35 Big Brother's Bit on the Side

42

Friday, May 30, 2014

AUCTIONS

ACCOUNTANTS Pro Business Support – for all your accountancy needs in English; bookkeeping, taxes, wage slips and more.

We cater for companies and self­employed people; we can deal with everything for you. Call us on 966 923 963 for first consultation free of charge.

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BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY

equipped and stocked, a great opportunity for some­ one wanting their own busi­ ness, for more comprehen­ sive information contact Glen on 606926437 (164)

CHURCH SERVICES International Christian Assembly, Calle Pilar de Horadada 5, Torrevieja.

Evangelical non­denomina­ tional church. Sunday serv­ ices 11am.

Children's church 11am. House groups in Torrevieja, Los Balcones, San Javier. Ladies meeting Thursdays 11am. Craft club, Tuesdays, 2pm.

Pastor,

BLINDS

BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES BUSINESS OPPORTUNI­ TY, two clothing shops for sale either as a pair or sep­ arate, both trading, sold fully

CATERING

Rafael Restrepo. All nation­ alities welcome. Call 966 799 273 or 660 127 276.

Pilar Christian Community Church Calle Canalejas 3.

Pilar de la Horadada.

Sunday Service at 11am, and Thursday at 5pm for Prayer and Praise and Worship. Home groups meet during the week. All welcome from any church background or none. For further information contact PilarChristian.CommunityC hurch@gmail.com 968575417 or 966848806.

Reg No:2009­SG/A The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (Mormons) meet at 10.00 each Sunday at their Torrevieja meetinghouse in the Torreaguas building on the corner of Rambla Juan Mateo Garcia 104, close to the windmill in Torrevieja, 667 533 597.

The rainbow centre for spiri­ tual awareness. We meet in the function room at Sacos bar el Liminar just off the CV 905 Rojales Torrevieja road.

We have a divine service every Sunday at 11am and on Wednesdays we hold an evening of clairvoyance at 7.30 pm. Also there is an open circle held every wed evening at 5.30 pm for any­ one interested in clairvoy­

ance. Healing is available by trained and certified healers after each meeting a warm welcome to friends old and new. The mediums for May 2014 are Sunday 4th Jacqueline Holland hunt.

Wed 7th David Darnbourgh.

Sunday 11th Ray Bailey Wed 14th Debie Blevins.

Sunday 18th Morag Bullock Wed 21st Morag Bullock.

Sunday 25th Anna Marie Wed 28th Jimmy McArthur

CARS FOR SALE Car insurance quotes – new extra discount on fully com­ prehensive policies at the price of third party!

Excellent prices for expats, all policies and call centre staff in English. We will call you back with a quote. 966 923 963

INSURANCE CASER SEGUROS ­ for all your insurance needs, home, car, health, funeral.

BARBER

ALARMS

Policies available in English and German.

Call Professional Business Support on 966 923 963 for a quick quote from our friendly staff.

PROPERTY FOR RENT Viva Villa and Vacation Services, For Short or Long Term Rentals visit: www.vil­ laandvacation.com or Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Santiago de la Ribera 2 bed­ room townhouse close to beach and shops with com­ munal pool €350 monthly short or long term lease Call 0044 7890996330 ­ 968570645 (162) Ref: 61, A lovely two bed­ roomed ground floor apart­ ment, located in the centre of the small Spanish town of Los Montesinos, With a pleasant communal swim­ ming pool adjacent & all amenities in walking dis­ tance. Long and short term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 112, Spacious 3 bed­

CARPENTER

room detached villa with its private pool is located on the El Raso urbanisation near Guardamar. Convenient for all amenities, shops, super­ market, restaurants and bars. Short term rental avail­ able. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 63, Two bedroom 1st floor apartment situated in Molino Blanco. The property overlooks a superb commu­ nal pool area, in within walk­ ing distance of bars, restau­ rants and shops. Short or long term rental available.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

LONG TERM RENTALS WANTED! Properties, all types, in the Torrevieja area wanted for long term rentals.

Call us on 96 692 3963 Ref: KP3100, €183,000.

Three bedroom, two bath­ room detached villa, located in San Luis, on a 450sqm plot, with communal pool.

Garage to side of house.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

CAR HIRE

CLEANERS

43

Friday, May 30, 2014

PROPERTY FOR SALE Opportunity to purchase at the off plan price of 195.000 euros. Large 4 Bed, 3 Bath Brand new property. Secure underground parking for 2 cars and communal pool.

Situated opposite Gran Alacant and over looks pro­ jected golf course. Ref No. K52. 627 711 155 Rare opportunity to pur­ chase on Mediterrania III, Gran Alacant. 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, Private Parking, F/Furnished, Large communal pools & Tennis courts S/W facing, Dramatically reduced for quick sale to 126.000 euros.

Ref No. K58 Call 627 711 155 for immediate viewing Lovely Corner property in Novamar V, Gran Alacant. 2 bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms Being sold fully furnished including appliances, Has secure underground parking

and faces large oasis com­ munal pool. Walking dis­ tance to beach. 139.000 Euros, Call 627 711 155 and quote Ref No. K10 Don Pueblo, Gran Alacant. 3 Bedrooms, 3 Bathrooms, Large Kitchen with Galleria, Secure underground park­ ing, Gas Central Heating, Glazed in Porch, Solarium with stunning views.

Viewings absolutely essen­ tial. Very large property at reduced price of 190.000 euros. Ref No. K38 Call 627 711 155 Immaculate ground floor Duplex, 2 beds, 2 bath, Private Parking, Situated in Novamar, Gran Alacant.

Price includes very tasteful furniture and white goods.

Walking distance to all local amenities and beach. Now only 129,750 euros. Ref No K24. 627 711 155 Ref: 78, €110,000. Three bedroom Quad in Jardin Del

CAR BREAKERS

Mar VII. There is off­road parking and small storage shed in the enclosed garden area, communal pool near­ by. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 2 Bed, 1 Bath Ground floor duplex. Central heating, Grills, Fully furnished, Glazed in Galleria, 2 com­ munal pools, private parking and walking distance to the Gran Alacant commercial centre. Situated in the popu­ lar urbanisation of Puerto Marino. Now only 96,500 euros for quick sale Ref No. K46. 627 711 155

Recently reduced 4 Bed, 3 Bath Villa, in Gran Alacant.

Quiet Location, Exceptional Views. Converted Under build, 2 Lounges, 2 Kitchens, Private Garage and being sold Fully Furnished, now only 239.950 Ref: L81 Tel. 680333242 Gran Alacant Detached villa, located in a very sought after location.Situated on a 560m2 S/W facing plot and constructed in 2005.

Comprising of 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms (2 full baths),

DIAGNOSTICS

DRAINAGE

Lounge­Diner, fully equipped Kitchen, Porch and Solarium with Alicante & Sea Views. ref.L81. €258,000 neg.

Tel. 680333242 Gran Alacant Town House with a difference.

2 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, Glazed in Porch, Quiet Location, Extra storage areas, and South Facing Private Pool as well as 2 communal pools. Fully Furnished, All mod cons.

Greenland Views and all local amenities close by.

Ref. No L79. 179.000 euros 680 333 242 2 Bedroom, 2 Bathroom, Unfurnished Mid Terraced Townhouse in GA. Recently decorated throughout means this property is a very clean black canvass.

Has Air­Con & Security Grills and the use of a Communal Pool. Price recently reduced to 110.000e Ref.K12 Tel. 627711155

Reduced for a quick sale to 95.000 e 2 Bedroom, 1 bath­ room, Top Floor Duplex in Gran Alacant. Very Modern Property with Many extras.

Glazed in Porch, Roof Top Solarium, Wooden Flooring.

Immaculate condition and ready to move in. Ref. K15 Tel. 627711155.

Gran Alacant, Situated in the "Alto" part of Gran Alacant, this 3 bedroomed, 4th floor apartment, offers luxury accommodation, with absolutely stunning sea views, as well as views of Alicante bay and the famous Santa Barbara Castle.The apartment is 89 square meters with open plan kitchen / living room and includes all electrical appli­ ances & furniture also there is a utility room, open ter­ race, and private parking.

The urbanisation also offers many communal pools, ten­ nis courts, restaurants and bars. Ref. K20 €109,000 Tel 680333242

PETS

44

Friday, May 30, 2014

Viva Villa and Vacation Services are pleased to offer property sales for the Torrevieja and Oriheula areas of the Costa Blanca, Spain. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 or Visit : www.villaandvacation.com Gran Alacant villa located in a very quiet area , situated at the end of a cul­de­sac means there is no through traffic.3 bed, 3 bath, 330m2 plot, established large gar­ dens, working fireplace, solar panel for hot water,pri­ vate parking, south facing great views, fully furnished, fantastic opportunity. ref.

L85. €215,000 Tel 680333242 Beach front Line property, over looks Carabassi Beach, Gran Alacant. 2 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, Secure Underground Parking, Fully furnished, Roof Top Solarium. 3 Large Communal Pools, Fantastic communal Gardens, Tennis Courts and much more.

125.000 Euros Ref No. K23.

Tel. 627 711 155 Lovely clean detached Villa just as you enter Gran Alacant. Very central loca­ tion, 3 Bedrooms, 3 Bathrooms, Glazed in

TRANSLATOR

RAG AND BONE

PLUMBERS

POOL TABLES

Porch, Garden Shed, Private Parking, Attractive Gardens, Private pool Ref: K59 240.000e Tel. 627711155 Offers Invited on a mid Terraced Town house in Gran Alacant. Comprising of 3 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, Lounge Diner, Galleria, Solarium, Under build.

Communal Pool and Gardens, and with Exceptional Views of Alicante. Being Sold Fully Furnished including White Goods. Ref. K42 Tel. 627711155 (reasonable offers only) Gran Alacant, Situated on the very first urbanisation as you enter Gran Alacant, this 2nd floor duplex offers taste and quality. Comprising of 2 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, lounge­diner, independent kitchen, full roof­top solari­ um with superb views and recently glazed in porch offering extra living area as well as extra privacy as the glass is mirrored. Ref.K44 €108,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant south­facing, very private villa, with wood­ land and Alicante views.

Situated at the end of a small cul­de­sac which means this villa enjoys a very peaceful location.3 Bedrooms with fitted wardrobes, 3 Bathrooms, lounge­diner with working fireplace, fully fitted kitchen with including white goods, large front porch, solarium,workshop and stor­ age in under build, central heating, air con H/C, ceiling

REMOVALS

fans, grills, UK T.V, off road parking and plenty of out­ side parking also. Due to its orientation of this property enjoys full sun, all day, something very important in the winter months. Ref.K24. €237,000 Tel 680333242

criminal defence. Call us on 966 923 963, give us brief details and get in touch with your specialist solicitor today

QUIZZES

SALON MARGARETHAS, 23 years in Torrevieja Hair/Wig specialist for Medical illness and Hair Loss problems. We offer dif­ ferent Hair Replacements, top fillers, Hair prostheses, Toupees and Wigs, Natural and Artificial hair and much more. Also fashion/festival accessories TV/TS are wel­ come to our service. Please call our salon reception for an appointment with Margaretha on Tel no 966 921 846 Torrevieja (90)

Experienced quiz­ master/question setter with personality available to host quiz nights in local bars.

Tel:­ 664 838 581

SITUATIONS VACANT RADIO COSTA INTERNA­ TIONAL needs motivated sellers. Spanish, English and German language is a bonus but not essential.

Training and good earnings guaranteed. For more info call 644 126 600 or email info@radicocostainterna­ tional.com Situations Vacant. Top Chef Required for The Med Bistro Bar, Guardamar. Excellent package and incentives. Tel. 0044 7917 1658 65 or email: andysteve@aol.com (168) English / Russian translator required by book publisher.

Call 618 715 998 for more info.

JOVAL ACCESIBILIDAD, an accessibility solutions com­ pany, is looking for a com­ mercial to promote and sell their products throughout the province of Alicante.

English and Spanish is essential. To make an appointment call 966 090 762. (174)

WIG SPECIALIST

SITUATIONS WANTED Gardening, property mainte­ nance, translations, cheap rates call David 722521654.

SOLICITORS Need English speaking solicitors in Torrevieja? Let us help to solve your prob­ lems with debt recovery, divorce, property, fraud,

POOLS

SURVEYOR

VAN HIRE

WANTED

45

Friday, May 30, 2014

Greenside Gossip RORY’S HEARTBREAK BRINGS JOY IVIE DAVIES takes a weekly look at the golf scene - golfdavies@gmail.com

Rory McIlroy may be unengaged now but clearly he is not disengaged now that his impending wedding is off.

Just a few days after announcing the end of his four­ and­a­half­month celebrity engagement to the Danish tennis star Caroline Wozniacki, he hit top form at Wentworth to take the PGA title. The wedding invitations issued the previous weekend made him realise that he wasn’t ready for all that marriage entails (and that’s just sending invitations). It would have been tough had he gone for the real thing!

My guess is that he really didn’t expect wedding plans to take shape so quickly but Ms. Wozniacki got other ideas and got totally carried away. He thought they wouldn’t get mar­ ried for years but she became a Bridezilla! Rory obviously found himself in the middle of something he couldn’t handle, with a wedding planned less than a year after they got engaged, and then when the invites went out that was the last straw, and he freaked out One report suggested that the couple sent out 300 wedding invitations to friends of McIlroy in Northern Ireland and to notable figures such as former President Bill Clinton. The invitations indicated that the wedding would take place in New York on Nov. 8th. The split brings to an end the cou­ ple’s two­plus­year courtship, during which they often jetted across the globe amid their respective tournament sched­ ules to be by each other’s sides.

Having become single again and allowed to play golf without worrying about getting back to plan tying the knot, he carved out a sizzling a 6 under Par 66 last Sunday at the PGA at Wentworth, coming from seven off the pace to win.

Somewhere a wedding planner is crying into a champagne bucket!

But there are others that have big smiles not including Rory:­ there are those that have been worrying themselves about the lack of victories from the “high flyers”, as well as Nike Golf who pay for all his off­course activities. Then there is the big grin on the Golden Bear Jack Nicklaus’s face, whose Memorial Tournament started yesterday (Thursday) and it now features Rory as a headliner.

The mainstream media loves this kind of activity. Facebook “Likes” it. Twitter is all atwitter. You cannot buy this kind of publicity. He is probably joint favourite for the US Open with Adam Scott the world’s No.1.

Rory’s words “mixed emotion” and roller coaster” to describe his week that stole the thunder from other golfing stories like: • Adam Scotts’ play­off victory against Jason Dufner.

• On the LPGA, Michelle Wie’s resurgence was slowed by Jessica Korda.

• Colin Montgomerie won a “Major” at last. although it was on the Champions Tour!

• An 11 year old girl, Lucy Li qualified for next month’s Womens US Open Though it’s only speculation, perhaps McIlroy ultimately real­ ized that two high­profile professional sporting careers and a marriage wouldn’t mix well and top golf is played by single men!!!!!!!. It would seem that golf and tennis do not go

together as I mentioned at the beginning of this year there are the following miss­matches.

Greg Norman and Chris Evert: The two former world’s No.1s married in 2008 but divorced in 2010 after a 15­month mar­ riage.

Adam Scott and Ana Ivanovic: the glamorous couple dated on and off before calling it quits after both plummeted down the rankings.

Sergio Garcia and Martina Hingis: first appeared together publicly at the 2002 Australian Open tennis but, like Norman, the Spaniard found the rough and moved on.

Now add: Rory McIllroy and Caroline Wozniacki: After just 4 and half months, it seems that maturity takes a little longer.

Rory’s victory was not the only newsworthy event in the last week, as locally there was the GB&I victory in the annual Vistabella Golf Ryder Cup event against Europe last Saturday at Entre Naranjos. This was the third year of the Ryder Cup style competition between a Great Britain and Ireland team and European team. The Vistabella course

was in very good condition and the greens at a high stan­ dard following pre­season maintenance.

Each team had 28 players and the format was a modified matchplay with the winning players scoring a point per hole, and a half for a half, so having a maximum of 18 points. The first 10 matches were singles match play playing off maxi­ mum handicaps and the remaining 9 matches being fourball better ball ¾ the difference, again a point for winning the hole. The champions would be the team with the best total number of points from both the singles and pairs.

It was an early “shot gun” start for the 56 players, with the weather just about perfect for golf, if a tad cool, and the course was set up well, for an exciting competition. During the competition, all the players were provided with a bocadil­ lo and water by the clubhouse restaurant. It was obvious that this year it was going to be a close fought match when the ten singles matches were all square 5 each. The highest score was Karen Lowe with a 12 to 6 win. So it was all down to the pairings, and the first 4 matches went Europe’s way with wins for 2 of the pairings of Alan Moffatt/Douglas Sheeran and Chris Butler/Phil Brigham, and one match halved and only one win for GB&I by a solitary point.

This made for a nail biting finish. But it all changed in the last five matches with GB&I taking four of them, with the GB&I captain fortunately relieved in not having a repeat of last year, with the pairings total scores for these five matches was GB&I 4 to Europe’s 1. The total parings score was GB&I 5½ ­ Europe 3½ So the final score was a very narrow win, to GB&I 10½ to Europe 8½ who have now won three years in succession.

Following a BBQ and refreshments on the clubhouse ter­ race, the Vistabella Ryder Cup Trophy was presented to the GB&I Captain Ivie Davies by Europe’s Captain and Golf Director at Vistabella Golf ­ Pablo Riestra, and the winning team were presented with individual medals.

Thanks to the prize sponsors: Mick the Grip; Mar Menor Golf; Las Colinas Golf; Vistabella Golf and Restaurant; Sofia’s Bar Restaurant – El Raso; La Cosecha Restaurante – Benijofar; and Di’s Art Class for private lessons.

Congratulations to all the players for making this competition again such a memorable one and a big thank you to Pablo Riestra – Golf Director at Vistabella Golf and its very sup­ portive staff for playing their part. The trophy will be dis­ played in the Vistabella Golf clubhouse, until next year 2015.

KNOW YOUR RULES

QUESTION One half of a U­shaped putting green serves as the 11th green and the other half serves as the 17th green. In play of the 17th hole, if a ball comes to rest on the part of the green serving the 11th hole, does Rule 25­3 (Wrong Putting Green) apply?

ANSWER No, not unless the Committee divides the green by use of A solicitor boarded a plane at Alicante with a box of stakes or a line and declares one part to be the green of the frozen crabs and asked a blonde flight stewardess to 11th hole and the other part to be the green of the 17th hole. take care of them for him. She took the box and prom­ The Definition of “Putting Green” gives a Committee this ised to put them in the crew’s refrigerator. He advised right. her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in an arrogant manner that he was a solicitor and threatening what would hap­ pen to her if she let them thaw out.

Shortly before landing at Gatwick, she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin, “Would the solicitor who gave me the crabs at Alicante, please raise your hand?”

Not one hand went up…so she took them home and ate them.

There are two lessons here: 1. Solicitors aren't as smart as they think they are.

2. Blondes aren't as dumb as most folks think.

TITTER ON THE TEE

46

Friday, May 30, 2014

A REAL-LY LATE SHOW Real seal 10th European Champions title

ATLETICO MADRID 1 REAL MADRID 4 (after extra time, 1-1 after 90 mins)

Real Madrid coach Carlo Ancelotti insisted his side had deserved their UEFA Champions League success after beating rivals Atletico Madrid 4­1 after extra time.

Real won their 10th European Cup ­ and first since 2002 ­ after coming within a whisker of losing following Diego Godin's 36th­minute opener.

Sergio Ramos powered home a headed equaliser in the third minute of added time to force extra time before goals from Gareth Bale and substitute Marcelo and a penalty from Cristiano Ronaldo won the game.

"We have done it with a lot of suffering and difficulty, but in the end we have done it and we deserved it." Said Ancelotti.

Real's victory means Ancelotti joins leg­

endary Liverpool boss Bob Paisley as the only managers to win three European Cups ­ having twice guided AC Milan to the silverware ­ while he has also won the trophy twice as a player.

The delighted Italian said: "We have done it with a lot of suffering and difficulty, but in the end we have done it and we deserved it. I am very happy for this because we have won a tro­ phy that for Real Madrid is very important. We have worked hard all year for this."

Ramos was equally delighted to notch the equaliser, saying: "It is the most important goal I have scored. It is an incredible feeling. We kept fighting until the end for the fans. It is not my goal, but one for all Madrid fans, my family and all those that have supported us until the end. We deserved it after so many years."

CONFIDENT ON COSTA

Spain’s coach Vicente del Bosque is hopeful Diego Costa will recover from a leg mus­ cle injury in time to fea­ ture at the World Cup but believes the world and European champi­ ons have plenty of back­ up if he doesn't make it.

Forward Costa, who plays for his club Atletico Madrid, has been struggling with a series of niggles in recent weeks and was forced off in the ninth minute of last Saturday's Champions League final against Real Madrid.

“He has a muscle injury and we will moni­ tor his development so we can make a last­ minute decision”, Del Bosque said on Spanish radio.

“We have until June 2 to register the (final)

squad of 23 and we don't need to rush,” he added. “I hope he makes it but we have good replacements.”

Spain play a World Cup warm­up against Bolivia in Seville this Friday evening, after which the Real and Atletico players selected for the finals will join up with the squad.

Gareth Bale admitted he had realised a dream by helping Madrid lift the trophy. "This is what every footballer dreams of, winning the Champions League, it doesn't come any bigger than that in club football,” he said. "It was an unbelievable feeling, it will be a memory forev­ er. The most important thing for me is we worked hard as a team tonight and won the trophy and the 10th title for the club.”

PIQUE BOOST

Barcelona defender Gerard Pique has signed a new four­year contract extension at the club. The 27­year­old, who is currently preparing for the World Cup with Spain, will now remain at the Nou Camp until 2019.

"Barcelona has to be at the top, win titles and feel important in the European and world elite," said Pique. "We have got the team and the coach and we have got all the ingredients to do it again."

Pique, who played for Manchester United between 2004 and 2008, was due to be out of contract in June 2015. Since returning to Barca, where he came through the youth ranks, Pique has played 266 games, winning four Spanish titles and the Champions League twice but he ended the season dis­ appointed after his side failed to win a major trophy for the first time since the 2007­08 season.

News of his signature comes a week after the club announced Lionel Messi had signed a new deal and former player Luis Enrique

was appointed manager. German goalkeep­ er Marc­Andre Ter Stegen has also been signed at the start of a summer where expe­ rienced figures such as Victor Valdes, Carles Puyol and Jose Manuel Pinto will leave the Nou Camp.

47

Friday, May 30, 2014

WORLD CUP WATCH GROUPS E TO H GROUP E: SWITZERLAND, FRANCE, EQUADOR & HONDURAS

Switzerland seem surprisingly seeded with no UK­based players, but when you look at their recent impressive record in the qualifiers you can see why. Nine clean sheets in the last 15 games, plus a 1 – 0 win over favourites and host nation Brazil tell their own story: Switzerland could go far.

Has­beens France scraped into the finals by beating Ukraine in the play­offs and look like yesterday’s men, with Didier Deschamps is now in charge. The UK provides a number of French players: Spurs stopper Hugo Lloris, Newcastle’s Debuchy, Sissoko and Remy (loan from QPR); Sagna, Koscielny and Giroud from Arsenal and Evra of Man United. The Red Devils also had 21 year­old Paul Pogba on the Old Trafford books at one time, who’s currently earn­ ing rave reviews with Juventus.

Equador have good attackers but a poor defence and don’t travel well. Might upset France hope­ fully though. First World Cup entrants Honduras appear to have little chance, should be an early exit.

GROUP F: ARGENTINA, BOSNIAHERZEGOVINA, IRAN & NIGERIA

Argentina:– seeded, frighteningly forward­looking when you see the likes of the Fab Four: Di Maria, Messi, Higuain and Aguero. The UK and Man City also supply Zabaleta and Demichelis, good defenders but elsewhere at the back are they vulnera­ ble?

Bosnia­Herzegovina: ­ Man City again supply deadly Edin Dzeko who’s in devas­ tating form, with goalkeeper Begovic from Stoke City – good potential for further progression.

Iran:­ Carlos Queiroz, ex Man Utd ex­assistant manag­ er was sacked as manager of his native Portugal in 2010, and took charge of Iran the

following year. Boy­done­well, only conceded twice in eight games, though the opposition was modest – it won’t be now.

Nigeria:­ The UK provides several players for the Super Eagles; Mikel is still a Mourinho favourite at Chelsea.

Ameobi comes from Newcastle, Odemwingie has seemingly settled at Stoke, and Ambrose comes from Celtic. Victor Moses from Liverpool, on loan from Chelsea shows that Nigeria have class in their side: Moses could be the key fig­ ure in leading Nigeria out of the group.

GROUP G: GERMANY, PORTUGAL, GHANA & USA

Seeded in this very strong group, Germany must be 2nd favourite after Brazil with so much experience in their side.

Bastian Schweinsteiger is world class, and upfront Germany have Muller, Schurrle, Gotze, with the UK and Arsenal sup­ plying Podolski and Ozil ­ and there’s more; 36 goals in 10 qualifiers tells its own story. The Gunners’ Mertesacker is also in an ageing defence, Germany’s only perceived prob­ lem: seven goals were conceded against Sweden (who didn’t qualify) in two matches.

Portugal:– one­man band? World superstar Cristiano Ronaldo has yet to have a good World Cup, and his team may suffer in this group and not go further. Nani of Man United should help, but he still struggles to convince at Old Trafford.

Ghana:­ the Black Stars were quarter­finalists last time out, their third consecutive World Cup, and are experienced competitors with the likes of AC Milan’s Michael Essien back, with Leicester’s Schlupp the only UK player. No place for Elche’s Boakye, but ex­local favourite Wakaso, now at Rubin Kazan is in the squad.

USA:– that great German superstriker Jurgen Klinsmann is unpatriotically coaching the States team. At either end of the side, the UK supplies two strikers and two stoppers, Clint Dempsey lately of Fulham and Tottenham could team up with Sunderland’s Jozy Altidore, and the twin keepers are Villa’s Brad Guzan and Everton’s Tim Howard, plus defender Geoff Cameron is from Stoke City.

GROUP H: BELGIUM, ALGERIA, RUSSIA, SOUTH KOREA

Viewed from the UK, seeded Belgium have one of the strongest sides, technically as well as physically, so much so that they could actually win the World Cup. Ten wins and two draws in their qualifying group is impressive form. An unbe­ lievable 12­ish players are from the Premiership: goalkeep­ ers Courtois (Atletico Madrid on loan from Chelsea) and Mignolet from Liverpool; defenders Vincent Kompany (Man City), plus Arsenal’s Vermaelen and Spurs’ Vertonghen.

Chadli and Dembele both come from Tottenham, with Marouane Fellaini and Adnan Januzaj from Manchester United. Add Eden Hazard (Chelsea), Kevin Mirallas (Everton) and also ­ wait­for­it ­ hat­trick­hero­this­week­in­ 5­1­win­over­Luxembourg, Romelu Lukaku. ‘Lucky’ is from Everton, but yet another star on loan from Chelsea, with goalkeeper Courtois and Liverpool’s Moses: hat­trick there, then Jose, owzat? Some side, Belgium.

Algeria:– real dark horses of the tournament with some big names tipping them to go further. The UK supply Spurs’ Bentaleb and Watford’s Belkalem with Forest’s Djebbour on loan from Olympiakos.

Russia: – Fabio Capello’s mean, tight experienced squad is made up primarily from CSKA Moscow and Zenit St Petersburg.

Nine have over forty caps, and only conced­ ed five goals in ten quali­ fying match­ es. Today’s Russia disappoint from the mighty old days though.

South Korea:– with the experience of eight consecutive World Cups behind them, South Korea could surprise a lot of people by going further. UK players are well­represented with Yun Suk­young from QPR, Ki Seung­yueng of Sunderland, on loan from Swansea, Kim Bo­kyung of Cardiff City, Lee Chung­yong from Bolton Wanderers and Park Chu­ young from Arsenal.

Don’t forget England’s last warm up game against Peru tonight, ITV 8.30 Spanish time. *** First World Cup match Brazil v Croatia is only a week on Thursday – bring it on! ***

MASTERS MAKE A SPLASH

4 swimmers from the Club Natacion Masters Torrevieja team had a great day at Murcia’s Municipal Pool last Saturday in the very first Open Masters Murcia de Natacion competition. The event pulled in competitors from as far as Jerez, with all of the Torrevieja swimmers taking part in 3 events each plus the 4 by 50 metres relay.

In the 70yrs+ years category, Beth Altabas won gold in her 100m medley, 100m freestyle and 100m backstroke events. This, not to be beaten, was followed with 3 gold medals for Paul Matthews in the 65yrs+ 100m medley, 50m backstroke and 50m but­ terfly races. Vicki Connolly then continued in the same manner winning golds in her 45yrs+ 50m freestyle, 100m freestyle and

400m freestyle events. Then in the penulti­ mate race of the day, after having 2 earlier personal bests in his 30yrs+ 50m freestyle and 50m butterfly events, Adam Stewart excelled himself in his 400m freestyle win­ ning a bronze medal.

To round off an excellent Saturday, the team then swam the last race of the day the 4x 50m medley relay in the 200yrs+ age group. With serious competition from teams from the host club of Murcia, Torrevieja’s relay team earnt themselves a bronze medal, only missing out on silver by 2 sec­ onds. The team now have a high standard to live up to in this weekend’s Regional Championships, in Torrevieja’s 50 metre pool.

48

Friday, May 30, 2014

HARRY’S GAME! REDKNAPP’S RANGERS REBOUND AS SPURS POACH POCH!

He’s 67, yes, and perhaps Harry should be Pottering about in his garden, but Jamie’s Dad has somehow managed to get Quite Possibly Re­elected back to the Premier League at the first attempt. Derby County’s disbeliev­ ing fans watched with horror as the Rams lost the Championship Play­Off Final 1 – 0 at Wembley after having enjoyed so much of the game, and playing against ten men for the last third of the match.

Another mouldy oldie, that ancient warhorse Bobby Zamora snatched the unlikely (and undeserved) winner in the last minute just as every­ one was settling for extra time. Zam Hammered the nail in post­match that he had done the same play­off trick for West Ham back in 2005 ­ so Harry’s has­beens saw off Derby’s young stags in the end. There’s no justice in football, is there? Get Real and ask Atletico!

As a die­hard Nottingham Forest supporter I would have been gutted if Leicester AND Derby had both gone up; we should have, but due to knee­jerkingly fir­ ing Billy Davies, the Reds finished sadly down in eleventh. But all credit just down the M1 to Foxes manager Nigel Pearson and his Merry Men who stormed away to win The Championship with a club record of 32 wins and a mighty 102 points. Now Leicester City will return to the Premier League after a gap of ten years ­ and good luck to them, they’ll need it. There’s the sad example of Cardiff as a dismal warn­ ing of how­not­to­do­it. Don’t nuke nice Nigel when the

John McGregor reports

going gets tough: and it will.

Burnley are also a club with traditions that go way back, and were last in the Prem four years ago with Owen Coyle ­ which didn’t last long. This time jefe Sean Dyche has worked miracles paying only one transfer fee, and working financially on a low budget using only 22 players to secure the second automatic promotion place. It will be very interesting to see if the Clarets will continue with that modest financial strate­ gy in the Prem, or go for some big names (and big wages).

It’s ironic, innit, mate ­ wot wiv Spurs seeking a new guvnor and ‘Arry goin back up again ­ when ‘e wos it once? Having terminated Tottenham’s temporary Tim, Chairman Daniel Levy studiously ignored the sackees, leavers and freemen of the manor: David Moyes, Michael Laudrup, Malky Mackay, Neil Lennon et al were not even Levyed in appointing Spurs ninth man­ ager since dangerous Dan took over Tottenham in 2001. Current sixth place isn’t satisfactory, especially with deadliest rivals Arsenal finishing fourth, and at last getting the taste of champagne from silver salvers once again. What pipes are calling, Danny Boy? Well, the new Spurs manager is ex­Southampton man­ ager Mauricio Pochettino, who will definitely have to learn to speak English publicly now, Norf London­ style. Erm, with respect though, White Hot Lane is not homespun St Marys. With the impressive international squad (see over page) at Tottenham, mostly bought with the proceeds from the Spanish Bale­Out, an expe­ rienced top­flight football manager should be able to do great things. AVB didn’t manage it, neither did too­ temperamental Tim. This will be another big test of

Pochettino’s ability with established superstars ­ up to now he has been impressive encouraging budding young English talent to flower in the South Coast gar­ den’s sunshine. But can he stand the heat in the North London kitchen competing with Arsenal’s bitter rival­ ry? It won’t be like the Saints sniggering down at rivals Portsmouth. Top managerial jobs like Spurs don’t come round very often, the standards, traditions and world­wide expectations are high at White Hart Lane. Good luck, Mo mate – you’ll need it!

Just where does that leave Southampton? Pochettino took over the good work that the unfortunate­but­ reviving­again Nigel Adkins had done and looked after a young, developing side well to guide Saints to their best ever eighth place in the Premier League at his first attempt – which has attracted attention. But it has been said that a lot of the success at St Mary’s was down to the brilliant forward thinking and atten­ tion to close detail that previous managing director Nicola Cortese brought to the club. With both men now gone from the South Coast, who will German chairman Ralph Krueger turn to now to manage a club with so much potential having already come so far in such a short time? It will be a tragedy if Saints are asset­stripped by losing all their best players: Brazil­ bound captain Adam Lallana and full back Luke Shaw are both already the tempting targets of the big boys.

Hmm. P.S. I bet Spurs and Saints fans shuddered when they watched their old boy Golden Gareth’s Real winner against Atletico… that’s two Welsh winners in two cup finals ­ the boyo’s doing well!