Week 167

Edition 167

www.thecourier.es

Friday, May 2, 2014

HORROR ATTACK JAW REBUILT AFTER DOUBLE-HIT

By ALEX TRELINSKI A British woman needed emer­ gency work on her jaw at Torrevieja Hospital after she was punched twice in the face by a UK holiday­maker. 3 male British tourists are alleged to be involved in the incident, with a local judge ordering that they voluntarily return to Spain to answer questions about what happened, or he’ll be forced to get an international arrest warrant.

The drama for 27 year old Zoe Cooper started in the early hours of Friday March 28th after she left a bar in the Toretta 3 area of Torrevieja. The Dream Hills, Orihuela Costa resident had gone there with a male friend and had got into a verbal confrontation with a man who was part of a large group that were drinking there. As the words got more aggressive, the bar owner suggested to Zoe and her friend that they leave, and they did so amicably at around 3.00am.

“We walked around the corner”, Zoe told The Courier, “and we heard some offensive cries from some men that started to follow us. They caught up with me and the man who I had argued

with at the bar then punched me in the face. I fell to the ground, and when I got up, he hit me again. They all then ran off”.

Zoe went to Torrevieja Hospital where she had to stay for 3 days, whilst work was done to repair her broken jaw, as well as an area that saw a split between her teeth and gums. 2 steel plates had to be fitted by surgeons along with 8 titanium screws.

“Because I was in hospital, I could not make a report to the Guardia straight away, and so the men involved are back in Britain, but I have given my statement now and I’ll wait to see what happens in connection with what the judge has ordered”.

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Friday, May 2, 2014

Are you a snapper? Do you have a great photo? Send it to design@thecourier.es and if we think it is good enough we will publish it as our Picture of the Week TELEPHONE

E­MAIL office@thecourier.es WEB www.thecourier.es HEAD OFFICE Calle Luis Canovas Martinez 1. Urb Aguas Nuevas, Torrevieja 03183, ALICANTE PHONE: 96 692 1003 Email: office@thecourier.es OPENING HOURS Mon ­ Fri 1030 to 1730 EDITOR Alex Trelinski CONSULTANT EDITOR Donna Gee ADVERTISING SALES 966 921 003 office@thecourier.es TELESALES 966 921 003 679 096 309 Sally Los Alcazares, San Javier 618 391 491 Myra Quesada, Rojales, Torrevieja, San Miguel Tel. 618 583 765 Jean La Zenia, Playa Flamenca, Cabo Roig Tel. 618 898 034 Patrick International Rep 5 Languages Tel 685 901 265 Alan Tel 616 332 178 Writers Donna Gee Sally Bengtsson Jeanette Erath Alex Trelinski Dave Silver Tony Mayes John McGregor

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Picture of the Week

96 692 1003 679 096 309

Nerja beach on December 2013 Photo by STANLEY JANYK

SMOKED OUT

A Formentera teacher is fuming that her apartment block administrators have not told non­resident owners that their homes may have been smoke­damaged. Michaela Lloyd, a teacher at the Castelar College in San Pedro del Pinatar, has had to move out of her ground­floor apartment on Calle Orihuela in Formentera and is staying in temporary accommodation in Quesada whilst work is done on making her flat habit­ able and all the smoke­damaged items replaced by her own insurance company.

Michaela told The Courier that she’s angry that the Guardamar­based administrators have done absolutely nothing to officially inform the residents about the fire via E­ mail. That’s because many of them live abroad and use the flats as holiday homes or holiday lets, which means that the first they’ll know that something has happened, will be when they arrive back in the country.

“I went to the offices of Hernandez Guilerra in Guardamar and was shocked to hear from them that they were not obliged to tell the residents anything about what had

Tourists dig deep

Visitors to Spain spent a record 10.06 billion Euros in the first three months of this year, up by over 8% compared to the same time period in 2013. In the Valencia region, includ­ happened. They are always very quick and ing the Costa Blanca, the spend stood at 782 million Euros, sharp in sending E­mails if anybody is late a rise of some 3%. The Egatur tourist spending survey said with their annual 400 Euros community pay­ the largest amount of wallet flashing came from ment, but they have been very tardy over Scandinavian, German, and British visitors, somewhat going this incident. They have done some basic against the grain of earlier surveys that suggested that UK cleaning in the communal areas, but that’s tourists were curbing their spending. The Canary Islands about it. I’m angry and upset that holiday were the biggest tourist spending area, whilst there was a visitors are going to come and get a nasty large drop for the Baleares. Egator said that the Germans shock when they open their front door. I’m spent 11.6% more compared to 2013, with the Scandinavian just trying to get the message out for their counties showing a 10.2% rise, followed by a 7.8% hike for benefit”. the Brits.

A car in the underground car park caught fire in the early hours of Sunday April 13th in the Edificio Formentera Uno behind Los Palacios, with a dozen 2 or 3 bedroom Spain's economy grew at quarter of 2008 when a apartments in the affected block.

Michaela’s ground floor flat got the worst of the fastest pace in six years decade­long property bubble it, with it being totally gutted by smoke, in the first quarter of 2014, imploded, tipping the nation though she and her 20 year old son according to the country’s into a double­dip recession escaped without injury. “All we got left that central bank. It expanded by that wiped out millions of was not damaged was a box of shoes and 0.4% on a quarterly basis, jobs and flooded the nation some clothes, though I have to say that our the Bank of Spain said in in debt. insurers Bankia have been brilliant. It’s a their monthly report. It was sharpest quarterly shame that the administrators have not the growth rate since the first been as helpful”.

GREEN SHOOTS

WANTED – MORE HEADLINE NEWS! DO YOU have a story that might grab the headlines?

What’s all the gossip about round your way? A spate of robberies, perhaps – or maybe you’ve spotted a celebrity in the neighbourhood. Whether your news involves fire, police, ambulance, accidents – or hap­

pier events like family weddings (particularly Golden and Diamond ones!), Just phone the Courier office on 966 921 003 or email office@thecourier.es We’re waiting for your call…and next week’s Front Page story.

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Friday, May 2, 2014

Boys go bare SHAMBLES Castles in the air and blue BAR NONE

Angry local coppers bared more than their guns and trun­ cheons when they burst into a Torrevieja council meeting to protest about new working conditions. The latest dramatic salvo in the row between the police and the PP administra­ tion boiled over with 30 underpant­wearing officers marching into the council chamber last Friday, with slogans smeared onto their backs which said “no more chaos”.

Mayor Eduardo Dolón warned the policemen he would launch disciplinary action against them, and told the semi­ naked protestors that he had no intention of changing offi­ cers' duty hours back again, because their new work sched­ ules were 'more efficient'.

Torrevieja’s finance councillor, Joaquín Albadalejo, ordered the officers to show their ID and said their 'strange behaviour' would be recorded in the minutes of the meeting. He said the protest 'appeared to be led by the opposition' and 'merely to make a lot of noise' whilst his own party 'concentrated on managing the town instead'. 3 weeks ago, the council launched an inquiry into the force's 'over­zealous' issuing of parking fines and sanctions for bars and restaurant who laid out tables and chairs on the pavements.

NOT SO EASY RIDER

Sneezing is never fun when driving around, but it provided to be even more worrying for a Madrid motorbike rider who let rip with a big sneeze and saw his dentures fly out onto the motorway. Traffic chaos ensued as motorists were brought to a halt as the biker started crawling and walking around the M30 highway (pictured) looking for his falses! Two policemen appeared and ordered the toothless man to continue his jour­ ney last Saturday morning for his safety and that of the other drivers.

NICE AND HEALTHY

Spain’s healthcare system is the best in Europe, claims a new study. And the country is ranked fifth best in the world, in the study by Bloomberg which measured efficiency, life expectancy and cost. The report comes after a number of studies which showed that Spanish health care has deterio­ rated dramatically over recent years due to national budget cuts.

British medical journal ‘The Lancet’ recently slammed its quality following drastic 30% cuts over the last few years.

Despite this, Spain’s efficiency rating was 68.3, its life expectancy was 82.3, and the cost of healthcare as a per­ centage of GDP per capita was 10.4%. This is compared to the UK’s efficiency rating of 55.7, life expectancy of 80.8, and healthcare cost percentage of 9.4%.

The Orihuela Costa still hasn’t any beach bars for this year, after the key Easter season was left blank over a controver­ sial tendering process. According to the local daily, Informacion, the latest twist is that the whole process has been de­railed by the news that the winning tender, Chiringuitos del Sol SA, owes nearly 1 million Euros to the Orihuela council, with rival bidders angry about the situation.

The council has admitted that they don’t know what to do next with politicians embroiled in a row over who’s to blame for letting the debt build up and also the way to go forward to provide an important service to beach­goers. The options appear to be to let the new award stand; to launch a brand new tender; or to award the franchise to one of the unsuc­ cessful applicants in the last tender.

WHAT’S IN A NAME? Elche’s Mayor has slammed airline carriers for not using the new name of Alicante­Elche airport at the El Altet facility. After a long running campaign and local businesses raising 24 thou­ sand Euros for a new sign, Mayor Mercedes Alonso is not impressed that nobody is using the new full name.

She’s written to the airport director asking for help and for airport owner, AENA, to tell all the carriers about the name change, in addition to airport tannoy announcements and internal signs that only refer to Alicante Airport. The Mayor has also called for the old terminal to have its Alicante Airport sign changed or removed.

Help yourself A man who specialised in robbing luxury yachts based in Alicante port has been arrested and accused of stealing from at least a dozen vessels. The 40 year old Slovak thief would in most cases make a first move for the fridge and help himself to an impromptu snack of food and drink, with authorities confirming that he had an alcohol problem. The man has a similar history of offences in the Barcelona area, and he also filched various high end items worth thousands of Euros like cosmetics and jewellery.

A strong gust of wind caused chaos at a set of bouncy cas­ tles in Alicante City on Sunday with 23 people, mainly chil­ dren, being injured as the inflatables was thrown up into the air. The five castles were being used at a classic car event on the promenade close to the Teulada market, when the sud­ den gust ripped all the castle moorings apart at around 11.40pm, with some of the inflatables being carried as far as 100 metres with terrified children on them. Nobody was seri­ ously injured, though 3 children suffered minor fractures, and one 6 year old girl spent the night in hospital for observation before being released. The gust lasted only a few seconds, and the owner of the castles said that he could not under­ stand what happened since everything had been “well anchored” and that they had all the necessary permits and insurance. The police are carrying out an investigation.

Wrong note

Montserrat Caballé, who famously sang 'Barcelona' with Freddie Mercury, has been charged with fid­ dling the Spanish tax system out of more than half a million euros. A Barcelona court is currently investigating whether the 81­year­old opera star failed to declare her earnings from 2010, amounting to just over 500 thousand euros. Spain’s public prosecutor claims Caballé became a resident in Andorra, the tiny principality tucked away in the Pyrenees, “with the sole objective of not paying taxes to the Spanish State”. She continued to live in Spain, the report claims, but became a tax resident in Andorra to con the Inland Revenue.

SIKH FIRST

Torrevieja was awash in colour last Sunday as the area’s Sikh community held their Nagar Kirtan parade and party to celebrate the creation of the religion. The city’s first ever Sikh parade began in the Casagrande industrial estate and ended up on the Paseo Vista Alegre, and attracted several hundred participants.

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Friday, May 2, 2014

Slump continues DUMB COPPER The number of mort­ gages taken out in Spain fell for the 46th month in a row in February, a further sign that the country's prop­ erty market is still a long way from recovery. Only 16,420 mortgages were taken out in February, 33% less than in the same month a year earlier, according to official figures from the national statistics agency show. That year­on­year drop is also larger than the 32.4% fall clocked up from January 2013 to 2014.

A kind­hearted driver who helped an injured bike rider in Valencia City has been fined for his troubles, after parking illegally, and then to rub salt into the wound, he was hit with another fine after ripping up the parking ticket! Whilst waiting next to the biker for the ambulance, a Local Police officer approached the driver and issued a fine for having parked on a yellow kerb near the scene in the Plaza Ávila. The driver explained the situation, saying he had needed to get to the injured motorcyclist quickly to be able to help him, but the officer ignored him – and did nothing to help the crash victim, according to the aggrieved motorist.

Arguing got him nowhere and, as the situation became heated, the driver lost his temper and tore up the fine notice, throwing the pieces on the ground. The police officer responded by slapping another fine on him for 'dropping litter' – but he did not receive this for several months, and appealed on the grounds it had not arrived in time to be valid.

He also stated that the litter fine notice was in the regional valenciano language whereas he is a Castilian­Spanish A 41 year old Egyptian woman was used as a virtual slave speaker.

The city council responded that according to bye­laws cov­ by a 62 year old businessman who has been arrested by the National Police in the Alicante area. When she told him that ering the use of the regional language, this would always be she had had enough, he allegedly withheld her passport and employed as a priority in public administrations unless the demanded a payment of 4 thousand euros. Agents freed her resident or member of the public in question specifically and found she was working without any formal contract, and requested that the communication be in Castilian Spanish. It also discovered weapons in the man’s house. He’s facing a has upheld the litter fine, which comes to 150 euros, although variety of charges including illegal detention and gun posses­ the driver is still fighting the parking fine, which is said to be in region of 200 euros. sion in addition to breaking employment laws.

SLAVE FREED

It’s all in the thrust

Local Olive stone spitters converged on Murcia’s Belluga Square for the 8th annual Olive Spitting contest last Friday, as part of the city’s spring festival. Daniel Pulgarín won the event with a distance of 19.43 metres for his stone spit, and Murcia mayor, Miguel Angel House, didn’t disappoint with his best effort reaching 15.55 metres and finishing up in 11th place, which earned him an invitation to this year’s world championships in Cieza.

COSTLY TRIP

A man who tripped over a Torrevieja manhole cover nearly 4 years ago has been awarded 12 hundred Euros in compen­ sation. The incident in the Mimosas area of city saw him hos­ pitalised for 44 days as he suffered a sprained left leg amongst other injuries. The judge said that the cover was not in good condition, but kept the award against Torrevieja council down to a low figure as he ruled that the man was in an area not designated for the use of pedestrians.

A British­owned dog kennel was just yards away from a farmyard fire that was visible over a large part of the Vega Baja on Sunday, with 3 houses having to be evacuated in case the flames spread. The drama started at the farm in the small village of El Mudamiento off the CV912 just outside Rafal on the road to Almoradi. A pile of wood caught fire, and after trying to smother the flames himself, the owner had to call in the firefighters as the blaze spread. It took around an hour for the fire to be brought under control, with nobody suf­ fering any injuries. The farm was right next door to the Bedingfield International Poodles grooming and breeding business, but the owners missed all the drama.

“All our dogs were fortunately inside the safety of the ken­ nels”, co­owner Penny Evans told The Courier. “We were showing some dogs locally and were oblivious of what was going on until we arrived back home at 4.00pm and found the emergency services right next to our house. Our hearts were in our mouths that something had happened to our home and the dogs, but besides a terrible smell, the only damage fortu­ nately for us were a couple of synged hedges”.

LONG WAIT OVER

BRITS STILL WANT SPAIN

Spain is still the most popular country that Brits want to retire to, despite recent figures showing a major exodus over the last few years from ex­pats returning home. The uSwitch survey saw the UK named the worst country for quality of life in Europe, whilst at the other end, France came top for the 3rd year running, closely followed by Spain, which led the list as the most desired country that people want to live in.

Goalposts moved

SELL OUT

Over 75 thousand music fans are expected to visit Murcia City’s SOS 4.8 festival this Friday and Saturday, with all advance tickets fully sold out for a line­up that includes The Pet Shop Boys, Damon Albarn, The Prodigy, and The Kooks.

78% of the tickets have been bought from outside the Murcia region and the organisers claim that all of the area’s hotels are full booked.

No hot dogs

Gran Alacant’s new market will definitely open this June according to the local council, after work has dragged on the project for the last two years. Delays on the work have been blamed on the state of the economy but council figures have made an assurance that the new facilities will be open in mid­ June.

STATING THE OBVIOUS

Spain has managed to push down its unemployment rate to 25.77% by adjusting the formulas used to establish the country's jobless rate to include the latest census data.

Spain's official unemployment rate fell from 26.03% to 25.77% in the latest figures from the National Statistics Institute (INE) which now includes data from the 2011 nation­ al census. Up to now, the survey has been based on 2001 census data, but the INE has now applied 2011 census data retroactively to jobless figures from 2002 onwards.

The new figures also raises the number of 'active' people in Spain by 416,400 people to 23,070,900. The number of people working, meanwhile, has also climbed by 377,000 people to 17,135,200 people. The revised numbers also show Spain's hit a peak of 26.94% on the dole in the first three months of 2013.

NICER ROTONDAS Torrevieja’s roundabouts are get a makeover in a new action plan, with work recently completed on one by Sports City. Los Balcones has been singled out for improvements with the council having already upgraded the roundabout close to the bus interchange at Eras de la Sal.

Spain’s AVE train services produced a record number of passengers over the recent Easter holiday with operator Renfe saying that 1.04 million people used the high speed network, which is over 18% more than last year. That has some logic behind it because the Alicante to Madrid service had not opened by then, a fact that seemed to be ignored by their press release, along with the fact that Easter was much later this year compared to 2013.

PRAISE BE A 12 year plan to open the first mosque in Torre Pacheco became a reality last week with the opening of the building there will service 5 and a half thousand Muslims. The facility in the San Mateo area of the Murcia region town will also act as a major education centre with a library featuring books about all religions in Arabic and Spanish.

Friday, May 2, 2014

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“There are quite a few solar companies popping up now, which is not a bad thing, as it shows there is a huge demand now here in Spain. And competition is good for the cus­ tomer, as it keeps prices keen and there are more offers available.”

“All we advise is that you deal with a com­ pany with a licenced and registered office,

so you have an actual physical business address which you may visit, local installa­ tions you may see before purchasing, a fully legal purchase contract with terms and con­ ditions, which has to have a Spanish transla­ tion and most importantly a Solar Registration Process.”

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The part of Spain north of Madrid is usual­ ly neglected by residents and holiday mak­ ers alike. Yet here in central and northern Spain you will find cities, countryside and coastal area which have no rivals in many other parts of Europe.

Not far north of Madrid a drive through the scenic, pine clad trees of the Sierra Guardarrama mountain range will bring us past the magnificent Palace of Idelfonso at La Granja and then to the historical city of Segovia. Idelfonso reflects the gentle beauty of the Palace of Versailles in France. The design of building and gardens having being influenced by the arrival of the Bourbon Royals who still sit on the throne of Spain to this day. Our arrival at Segovia is heralded with our first view of the enormous Roman built viaduct which guards the entry to the city where the Catholic Monarchs from an earlier Royal dynasty, the Habsburgs, were married. In Segovia, there are many church­ es, convents, monasteries, a huge cathedral and a fairy­tale castle. Heading north brings us to the fantasy region of Spain.

Magnificent, beautiful Galicia. A region of rivers, mountains, trees, lakes, wild horses, fishing towns and peaceful seaside coves.

The city of Vigo is famed for its ramshackle fishing area. Here to your surprise, you will find some of the finest restaurants in Spain, serving a bewildering array of freshly caught seafood. From the port where you can see the Tuna catch coming in you can take a short boat trip which takes you to the nearby Cies Islands. Fashion is a major export of

Vigo and this can be seen in the well­ stocked shops of a thriving city centre.

Parklands, palaces and mansions complete the scene. Day trips include visits to Santiago de Compostela. A city with a fabu­ lous history hidden amongst its powerful grey buildings. All day, every day, pilgrims stream into the city after completing one of the routes to Santiago. Then there is Santa Tecla. Where there are buildings which were built by ancient Celtic, and then Roman colonies. These, overlooking the river Miño, provide breath­taking views of nearby Portugal. A complete change takes us to the island of La Toja and the little town of O Grove. Here we go to see shell fishing at first hand and sample the goods washed down with an excellent locally produced wine.

Later we visit seaside coves, and a unique monastery with exhibits of some of the finest murals to be found in Spain. Reluctantly we leave Galicia on our homeward journey. But with one more gem to visit on the way. The University City of Salamanca with its 2 uni­ versities and 2 cathedrals which overlook the River Tormes as it wends its way round the city. Space doesn’t allow a full descrip­ tion of this fabulous visit to a delightful part of Spain. So why not go in comfort and with expert guidance from a well informed English speaking courier/David’s Coachtrips SL are offering this 8 day excursion with day trips included to all places described for only 449€ half board. Dates are 20­27 July.

Overnight hotel accommodation is included on both the outward and return journey.

GLORIOUS GALICIA

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Friday, May 2, 2014

editor@thecourier.es COURIER POSTBAG: YOUR VIEWS ON OUR NEWS

CONDEMNED: CASE FOR THE CARING KENNEL COUPLE I FIND it hard to believe Mr Edwards’ com­ ments on last week’s Letters Page.

The Kennels concerned built up a very good reputation with hundreds of dog owners in the community.

The couple spent a fortune upgrading the rundown kennels which had been there many years. Not only did they treat each animal with

love and care, but they helped the local com­ munity with owners sometimes having a drink or meal in Los Montesinos.

Unfortunately the stress of this, caused by the local council finding loopholes in previous paperwork by previous owners, has caused heartache and anger to owners and cus­ tomers alike.

There are hundreds of local people petition­ ing the council in support for Lynne, which shows this IS an important subject.

There are many varied stories in this paper, perhaps people should return to their home­ land if they are 'not impressed' with local news.

JOHN DE VERE, Rojales Hills

THANKS FOR BEING SUCH A DOG, PAL!

Angel cake a golden bonus MY husband Gordon and I were featured in The Courier in March as we celebrated our 50th wedding anniversary.

Well this must be our lucky year after we popped over to La Marquesa Golf Club in Quesada last Saturday to see if we could get a glimpse of the great Spanish golfer Miguel Angel Jimenez, who was taking part in a pro­am tournament there.

In the hope of catching a glimpse of him, we wandered through the entrance doors and, lo and behold, he was just getting out of a car!

I said to my husband, quietly of course: "Oh

Letters and l emails will only be considered for

publication if an address and contact number are provided.

The Courier management does not necessarily agree with the views expressed.

l

my goodness, it's him!"

Luckily I had my camera with me, so I went over to him and asked if he would mind having a photo taken with me. He agreed and I was so excited and said to him, "My daughter is going to be sooooo jealous, she thinks you are great.

Thank you so much."

I was on Cloud 999 for the next six hours.

This Saturday Gordon celebrates his 74th birthday and we are going to the Eurogolf Dinner Dance at the Clubhouse restaurant in Quesada, so I'm wondering what surprise is in store for him!

WENDY WHITE

I WOULD like to thank Tom Edwards, who took time and effort to put fingers to keyboard to complain about your lead story last week regarding the kennel clo­ sure in Los Montesinos.

He brought the story to the fore ­ good move, Mr Edwards. However, I and many of the kennel closure through corruption supporters are of the impression that Mr Edwards kind of missed the point.

I am sorry to read that he must not be an animal lover. That’s fine, but surely even Mr Edwards is against the closure of a community­serving business, like the kennels are or were, through no fault of their own.

The business was bought in good faith in December 2010, with a current and legal licence. The town hall made a seri­ ous error some 25 to 28 years ago. Does Mr Edwards consider that to be the owner’s fault?

In writing your article, for which the owner is very grateful, you have not only let the hundreds of clients know, saving the owner a huge phone bill, but are bringing attention to the absolutely dis­ gusting way that the so­called authority of the village are treating their residents.

Mr Edwards should also be made aware of the fact that closing this honest hardworking business will also come along with homelessness. No business, no income, no mortgage payments all leads to the home being repossessed.

So thank you, Mr Tom Edwards, for what I and many others regard as a self­ ish attitude as to what the editor is allowed to put on HIS front page.

LYNNE COOPER, Owner of Eurasier Dream Kennel and Cattery.

Car-hire Yorker is just not cricket...

If any of your readers or friends are thinking of hiring a car from Europcar at Leeds Bradford Airport, please let them take warning from my sorry tale.

In October 2013 I had to travel to Leeds for five days for a funeral. I hired a car at the airport from Europcar, who also trade as Alamo and National.

My flight back to Spain was early and their hire desk was not open, so I was unable to have the car checked back in by their staff. Because of this, I care­ fully made sure that there was no damage to the vehi­ cle before parking it in their own car park, and dropping the keys in the box provided.

However, shortly after, they took from my credit card the full excess amount of £250 plus a £27 admin fee, saying there was minor dam­ age to the bumper, which I am adamant there was not.

We argued for five months, but as it was their word against mine, I have had to stand the charge. However, I strongly resent the implica­ tion that I am a liar.

I feel this is a money­mak­ ing scheme on their part, as they informed me during our correspondence that they did not repair alleged minor damage immediately but took the excess from hires to offset depreciation!

So I would urge your read­ ers to never return a hire car unchecked, but also to take photos of its condition when you collect it, so that fictitious damage charges cannot be made.

Of course, I shall never use this company again.

MICHAEL HOLDSWORTH, San Javier

CANAL MOTORISTS DRIVE US MAD I LIVE at Las Ramblas and often use the canal for cycling.

The canal is used extensively by walkers, joggers, cyclists and others. It is a pleasant, green and healthy environment. However, in recent times various barriers have been removed and more and more motorists are using the canal path as a road.

It is spoiling the peace and tranquility of the canal environ­

ment as they drive with disregard to the signs that restrict entry to service vehicles only.

The sections of the canal from past Villamartin and back to Los Dolses and Las Ramblas need no vehicular access at all. There are roads that can be used instead.

The canal between San Miguel does get used by farmers access­ ing their land, but there is no excuse for taxis and private cars

to use the route. It can be very annoying when cycling along, to have cars, vans and even lorries suddenly driving past.

Cannot something be done to curb this completely unnecessary traffic nuisance?

Maybe if the Guardia Civil parked up on the canal paths they could collect substantial income in fines from the non service motorist law breakers.

But rather than that, why can­ not the barriers be re­introduced so that the canal path can be restricted to non motorised vehi­ cles apart from where services are needed?

There are enough roads for all the cars, so can't we keep the canal exclusive for those that appreciate some pleasant and healthy exercise space?

LES WILTON, Las Ramblas

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Friday, May 2, 2014

I DUBBED it the Sail of the Century, even though my fellow passengers were too young to remember Nicholas Parsons turning on the smarm on ITV each weekend.

SAILS OF THE UNEXPECTED

A four­hour voyage around the Mediterranean coast on a large yacht is most people’s idea of a water wonderland. Especially when the value­for­ money package includes the services of a profes­ sional skipper plus an appetising buffet­style lunch.

Sadly, the lunch chickened out after our innocent liaison with the mad Med world of Orihuela Costa crumbled into a catalogue of culinary catastrophes.

All at the same time.

The Leandro’s Easter Sunday outing was graced by a passenger list that embraced the diverse cul­ tures of England, Spain, Brazil, Cuba, Colombia. ­ and of course Wales.

With the morning sun blazing and temperatures creeping towards 30C, we anticipated the mill­pond Mike (right) admires the on­board buffet he tranquility of a becalmed prepared on board the Leandro. The sec­ sea. ond picture reveals why it was never eaten Carlos duly steered us out of Torrevieja harbour and into the rippling waters of the Med. The Choppy Horror Show was ready to take cen­ tre stage.

Our schedule included the buffet lunch prepared by trip organiser Mike Thornton, whose reputation as a chef is reputed to be one to die for.

Pretty much like his business skills, in fact.

An undertaker by profes­ sion, Mike moved to Spain in 2011 and ‘dead­icated’ his new life to selling funeral plans.

Never afraid to dip his paws into fresh water, he has wood yacht and take a bunch times over, but on this occa­ since added ‘boat­trip organ­ isation’ to an extensive port­ of paying friends on a half­ sion skipper Carlos had just folio labelled Work I Can Do’. day outing, complete with nine of us to control.

As the oldest fossil on the Mike's idea for Easter booze and sea picnic.

He could have filled the boat, I demonstrated my Monday was a great one.

Hire a traditional, varnished 60­foot Leandro three or four inherent lazyitis as soon as I

Easter Sunday on the Med started as a boat trip to paradise. Then an act of God flattened our plans, our lunch and our organiser

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THE Daily Telegraph informed its readers last week that British expats have been leaving Spain in droves. Some 90,000 of us last year, apparently. The figures, they suggested, came from ‘town hall registers’’’.

BBC TV’s The One Show picked up on the story, flew a crew to Murcia at short notice ­ and on Sunday morning I had the pleasure of being interviewed by presenter Joe Crowley at my El Raso home. He claimed the source was actu­

ally the padron ­ though heaven knows how a document that runs out twice a year can tell anyone that its owner has fled to Britain.

Most of the expats I know adore life here in the Costas and have no intention of going back to the UK for good.

As for the Daily Telegraph’s dubious sources, I have just one new comment to make regarding their inflated crowd figures. : ‘’I beg your padron?’

got aboard. I plonked my subterranean cruise missile, creaking frame into a com­ only he knows. But the rogue fortable lounger and pro­ wave sent our host flying ceeded to doze peacefully across the table, his corpu­ until the smell of food alerted lent frame steamrolling the my greed buds to the fact it entire buffet to oblivion.

Poor Mike’ended up on the was lunchtime.

Carlos duly steadied the floor alongside the over­ ship for feeding by dropping turned table plus what was anchor 100 metres off Cabo left of our lunch.

Miraculously his worst Roig beach.

It proved to be a recipe injury was a thumping headache ­ legacy of his for disaster, As we prepared to tuck in, argument with the cabin wall Mike reached out to rescue a as he slid across the table.

A few days later I spent tray of vol­au­vents teetering precariously near the edge nearly 24 hours in Torrevieja Hospital in similar discomfort of the table.

Why King Neptune chose The big difference is that that moment to launch a my headache was brought

on by the nurses refusing me food even after the duty doc­ tor had told me I could go home. Short of licking Mike’s egg­stained T­shirt, there was no chance of solid susti­ nence aboard the Leandro.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT: if you find yourself sailing around the Med this summer, make sure the Battenburg is battened down before the tea break. And please warn the skipper to avoid the Bay of Biscuit.

If you want to know more about hiring the Leandro, email me at donna@the­ courier.es and I’ll point you in the right direction.

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Friday, May 2, 2014

Friday, May 2, 2014

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Friday, May 2, 2014

PHIL HAS HIS FILL

Fearful Phil is a lovely guy despite the fact that he's crazy. Well, anyone who is superstitious enough to spend the whole of 2013 in bed because the year has a 13 in it cannot be regarded as being free of idiosyn­ crasy.

Anyway, Fearful Phil came into the pub the other evening and he wasn't in the best of moods. 'It's my mis­ sus,' he moaned. 'She has decided that because I did my own thing for 12 months, she, too, deserves a break.

'I tried explaining that I spent a year in bed for safety reasons, such as hiding from the Devil and his evil works, but she's having none of it. In a nutshell, the missus has decided to allocate all the household duties to poor me for the remainder of 2014.'

There was a shocked silence among the members of the pub discussion group.

Eventually, I said: 'Wow, Phil!

That wife of yours is one feisty female. I really fear for you.'

'And I fear for me, too,' groaned Fearful Phil. 'I mean let's consider the ironing.

How do I press box pleats?

How do I fold fitted bed­ sheets?'

In the midst of Fearful Phil's agony, I had a positive thought that household chores would make an inter­ esting subject for the pub dis­ cussion group to . . . er . . dis­ cuss.

I was about to launch a debate on the practice and pitfalls of doing the ironing when Fearful Phil suddenly went off his head and descended into full rant.

'And take the gardening,' he almost sobbed. 'How do you get a striped lawn? Do you grow it that way or mow it that way? How green is green? How green was my valley? How much is that doggy in the window? Is there life on Mars?'

Realising that Fearful Phil had gone way past the scheduled time to take his medication, I reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out

a bottle of pills. Dave the bar­ man placed a glass under the tap containing his strongest beer and produced almost­pure water to wash down the meds.

'Poor fellow,' commented Indoor Lou as we all watched Fearful Phil gradually calm down. 'Blimey, and I thought I was a mess,' observed Ol' Red Eyes before he went back to sleep on the floor.

But perhaps the most rele­ vant contribution came from, of all people, Daft Barry. 'Is Fearful Phil dead?' he asked.

We stared at Daft Barry and then turned back to stare at the object of his concern.

Yes, Fearful Phil looked not only fully relaxed, he was very, very still.

'You've killed him!' cried Dave the barman, pointing an accusing finger at me.

'Just how many pills did you give him?'

'I dunno,' I shrugged. 'One or two or possibly up to a dozen. How the hell should I know? In the heat of the moment I didn't count the

blasted things.'

Fortunately, at that very moment, my best friend Eric the dentist entered the hostelry. 'Over here, Eric!' I yelled. 'You're a medical man. Can you tell if Fearful Phil is still alive?'

Eric the dentist took hold of Phil's wrist. 'Well, his pulse is very slow but that's quite nor­ mal with all of you lot.' Eric then lifted Fearful Phil's arm and let it flop down again. 'He doesn't appear to be in rigor mortis but it's probably too soon to tell.'

'What do you reckon?' I asked. 'Should we leave him alone for an hour or two and see if he goes stiff?' Eric the dentist shook his head: 'I think we should get him to hospital.'

I immediately took charge of the situation. 'Right!' I cried. 'Indoor Lou, you phone 999. Daft Barry, you start applying the kiss of life. Dave the barman, you ring Fearful Phil's missus to tell her what's happened ­­ and DON'T reverse the charges!

This is no time to think of your profits.'

'What shall I do?' shouted Fag Ash Bill who was outside smoking two cigarettes at once because of the fraught goings­on inside. 'Just look out for the ambulance, Bill,' I called back.

'Will do,' confirmed Fag Ash Bill. 'So what's it looking like?' he asked, most concerned. 'Don't be stupid!' I snapped. 'It will look like a white van with sirens sounding and lights flashing and it will be going pretty fast.'

At which point Fearful Phil woke up.

'Well, that snooze did me the world of good,' he yawned appreciatively. 'Has anybody seen my mints? I keep them in a pill bottle other­ wise they go all damp and sticky.'

Friday, May 2, 2014

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Friday, May 2, 2014

PATCH OF JOY

A couple of weeks ago, in the Spanish countryside, a piece of gold was found. This piece of gold, was covered in fur, had a wet nose and two big fluffy ears!

He was a seven week old male puppy, who we are guess­ ing is a cross between a German Shepherd and a Husky. He was covered in ticks and fleas, along with being dehydrated and starving hungry. He is now safe and with us. He is the most delightful little chap and loves everything that moves, including our cats. I am not aware of how many people saw him on his travels before he was picked up, but whoever did see him, I wonder if they were aware that they were crossing paths with an angel.

All of my work now is saving animals and most of the time I get severely abused dogs, who I must rehabilitate, before I find them loving forever homes. Rehabilitation takes time,

some longer than others and to carry out this work effectively I need a good team around me, which I am blessed with.

They are my wife and my dogs! It is my belief that some dogs were put on this earth to do just that:­rehabilitate their own kind. All dogs can do this but some simply excel at it and this puppy is one of those. I can tell from studying him over the past two weeks that this little guy is going to go on and to do tremendous work with me. He really was born to do the work I have planned for him.

I find it amazing that a puppy with such star qualities was roaming the countryside all on his own.

He has now had a worming tablet, flea treatment, his first vaccination and two good baths. He is also the proud owner of his first tiny collar, which he was treated to yesterday. It fills me with enthusiasm and excitement when I think of how many dogs we will help and what we can achieve together.

For the time being though, he is a little too interested in his chew toy, as he goes through his teething period. I am lucky in the fact that we still have around two months more of his socialisation period to go and in that time he will see as much of what the world has to offer, which will help him to grow up calm and balanced. He started with the Easter parade in Pinoso and with all the noise and excitement he just sat in his little carrier observing everything happily.

I find his mix fascinating though as, yes, I know he looks like a German Shepherd crossed with a Husky, but some­ where underneath all of that soft fur, I still think he could have some Border Collie sprinkled in for good measure. We have named him Patch and it seems like God did not bless him with a tail, or maybe something happened to him in his early few weeks of life, but what God did bless him with are the

most spectacular, sparkling eyes I have ever seen, that always seem to be smiling at you. I also know that one Saturday evening a couple of weeks ago, God did definitely bless me with this amazing little bundle of energy who will go on to save many, many other dogs.

PETS’ CORNER: CAN YOU TAKE IN A HOMELESS DOG OR CAT? Otto is a beautiful Lab/ Rottie cross about 1 year old. He is also very loyal and affectio­ nate and will alert his human companions if someone is approaching the property.

Otto is fine with other dogs and cats. He follows com­ mands and is quite obedient even off the lead. Otto is used to being an indoor dog and is house trained, he is a very friendly dog who loves companionship. Please con­ tact K9 or PHONE 600 84 54 20 for more info www.k9club.es

Marble ­ 10 weeks old and only 19cm or 7 1/2 inches to the top of his shoulder and

Marble McCartney (Marbles brother) ­ little boy 10 weeks old and only 19 cm (7 1/2 inch) to top of shoulder. Named after Paul because he has wings on his chest. Find us on facebook “Paradise Kennels” or call 619938955

Otto Cody and Barney These 12 week old pups were picked up from the countryside near Almoradi.

They will probably be small to medium sized dogs and quite slim build, they are both very gentle natured dogs.

D.O.B 18th November 2013 Please contact K9 or PHONE 600 84 54 20 for more info www.k9club.es

Born in October 2012, Beau is one of a litter of puppies who were left abandoned in a box when they were only weeks old. Boys and girls there are seven of them still living in the APAH kennels, waiting for their first home, and all very different in cha­ racter. To meet them please contact Yvonne on 630 422 563.

McCartney

Cody and Barney

Beau Born in April last year, Saffron is a beautiful and friendly ginger female who was rescued as a tiny kitten.

She needs her first loving home and will be a lovely cat for someone to adopt. To visit the APAH Cattery, plea­ se contact Yvonne on 630 422 563.

Saffron

BABY is the mother of 8 puppies which were born at the kennels. She had been found by two water deposits that were on the side of a busy main road and was heavily pregnant. We also discovered that she was chipped but her registered owners could no longer care for her so she was signed over to us and 4 days later she gave birth to her little ones. She can now go for walks which she loves and gets lots of fuss. She has a very sweet and happy tem­ perament and is around 2 years old. She isn´t ready to go to a new home just yet but can be viewed and reserved. Before leaving the kennels she will be fully vac­ cinated (passport) and sterili­ sed. If you would like more information on Baby, please contact the kennels directly on 966710047 or email info@satanimalrescue.com

Baby

Born in June 2010, Apollo is a lovely, friendly boy and despite someone cutting his vocal chords, he still loves people. He will make a great companion, as he is friends with all dogs and people alike. To meet Apollo and the other APAH dogs, please contact Yvonne on 630 422 563.

Fluffy needs a home Urgently. She is 20 months old and was adopted when she was a puppy. She is a cross Akita, we believe her other half is husky. Fluffy is a very affectionate dog who loves her cuddles.. She has been chipped, spayed, had her injections, including rabies, and has her passport imckeown@btinternet.com

Apollo

Fluffy

Friday, May 2, 2014

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Friday, May 2, 2014

NO GHOST OF A LIE

I seem to have been reading a lot about the supernatural recently with famous people putting forward their ideas and opinions with regards to spectres, and there doesn´t seem to be the stigma attached to apparitions as there maybe once was.

There was a time when someone suspected of being a witch was burnt at the stake and during those times, ghosts were firmly believed in, which makes me wonder why they would kill someone who could come back to haunt them?

Maybe, that thought wasn´t at the forefront of their minds?

Many people have made a lot of money from ghosts, whether they be mediums who say they can contact your dead relatives, for a fee of course, or those who go into haunted houses to look for those who cannot or do not want

to rest. Wikipedia describes a ghost as the soul or spirit of a dead person or animal that can appear, in visible form or other manifestation, to the living. Mediums say they deal with spirits rather than ghosts, as spirits can´t be seen by everyone, whereas I suppose ghosts can. I’m not so sure what the difference is in reality if there actually is one, so maybe I´ll find a medium and ask the question!

There are many people who claim to have seen phantoms and who are we to disapprove of them? I personally have never seen a ghost but that´s not to say I don´t believe in them. I personally think that believing the souls of the dead live on is more credible than saying there is a God that is all seeing and created the earth and has made rules to live by.

However I also respect anybody’s rights to believe in what­ ever they wish. I used to believe in lots of things when I was younger, although as I age, I find myself less trusting and more cynical. I was sat at a beach café recently watching the joy of youth: playing, running, carefree and inno­ cent. Life is full of simplicity and joy, without the ties of stress and modern life. Youngsters dancing and laughing, accepting everything they are told with­ out question. I used to be like that. I believed in spirits and ghosts and hoped maybe more than anything, that there was something else, and that death wouldn´t be the end.

I can´t say even now that I don´t believe, but only that scepticism is beginning to creep in. Of course, I hope there is something after we pass

but I also think that if there was an afterlife, then more peo­ ple would be coming back. As we get more and more angry as a nation, there would be an increase in hauntings and ghostly sightings, however there is none of that. There are still the famous haunted buildings but, as far as I know, there has been no significant growth in ghostly encounters. Maybe that means only some become ghosts, perhaps those with unfinished business and the rest go on to a beautiful para­ dise, or maybe it means that there is nothing and once we go, we are blowing in the wind or feeding insects!

I will continue to hope that there is something, I may even go to a haunted house to see if I can find my own ghost, but until then I will live as though the end is where it´s at and there is no more. In this way I can make the most of my time on this plain and then, just maybe, I may have a pleasant surprise.

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Friday, May 2, 2014

NO LAUGHING MATTER Back in the twenties, many Germans laughed at Adolf Hitler and his Nazi party(who inci­ dentally never won a national election), but in a political impasse in the early thirties, a bunch of political grandees thought that giving him a bit of power might not be a bad idea, so they made him Chancellor of Germany.

It wasn’t long before old Adolf took grip of the country and didn’t bother with any more elections and got rid of the opposition. Please don’t get me wrong. I don’t think the UKIP leader Nigel Farage is a fascist in any shape or form. I’m o n l y using this a s a n

example where cynicism and people thinking that it could be a laugh to cast a protest vote, ends up with a tragic political result that nobody expected or wanted.

And yes, do get this mes­ sage right. A number of UKIP members do come from the Genghis Khan school of pol­ itics, and as much as you might dislike the European Union, voters should take in some breath when they come to cast their UK ballots in this month’s European elections.

Do you remember the disgraced crooked for­ mer Tory MP, Neil Hamilton and his celebrity wife, Christine? They’re now in the UKIP camp and Mr.Hamilton is a vice­chair­ man of the party. Wait for this one. Hamilton is openly encouraging former BNP voters to come into the UKIP fold, saying that those who feel that they are “swamped by immigrants”, are coming over to UKIP, because the party is a “decent” and “non­

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racist” alternative. Hamilton has stressed that UKIP is not a racist party, but the thor­ oughly unpleasant BNP boss, Nick Griffin, has accused UKIP of stealing its slogans and rhetoric.

I would certainly love to hear Hamilton’s views on a local council candidate by the name of William Henwood, who joins the ever­increasing list of UKIP nutters. Comedian and actor, Lenny Henry made the reasonable point that ethnic minorities are under­ represented on British TV. Henwood “tweeted” that if

Henry didn’t like it, he should go and live in a black country, and also comment­ ed as a bonus that he equat­ ed Islam to the Third Reich!

Neil Hamilton’s response to all of this was to say that “all parties have activists that may say something unpleasant on social media”. The difference is that anything uttered of such a nature would see a party whip removed or a member­ ship card torn up immediate­ ly, but at least Henwood had the good grace to resign from UKIP this week! The latest opinion polls actually

show UKIP in front for the Euro elections in Britain, which for me is a sad com­ ment on the mind­set of the electorate and the largely poor way that the regular mainstream parties have failed to engage them and rationally discuss the chaos that would ensue if the UK actually left the EU. Meanwhile what do you make of Nigel Farage decid­ ing not to stand in the Newark By Election in a winnable Tory seat which has been vacated by the disgraced Patrick Mercer?

Scared to lose, I wonder??

SEPA. MEANS SAFE AND EFFICIENT PAYMENTS IN SPAIN. What is SEPA? The Single Euro Payments Area (SEPA) is making euro payments faster, safer and more efficient within the 34 EU countries. It enables customers to make cashless euro payments to anyone within the EU. What are the ways to pay using SEPA? 1. SEPA credit transfer A single way to transfer funds nationally or anywhere within the EU. 2. SEPA direct debit Now charges can be made directly to an account in one EU country for services provid­ ed by a company based in another country.

3. SEPA for cards Customers can conveniently use the same cards they use for national purchases, any­ where in Europe. Merchants will accept all cards, making payment processes easier and more attractive.

SEPA standards required for full introduction 1. IBAN IBAN is the International Bank Account Number that identifies your account anywhere in the world. With a maximum of 34 digits it includes the following in order: 2 digits country code 2 digits check digit 30 digits (max) account identification specific to each country UK IBAN example: GB19 LOYD 3096 1700 7099 43 2. BIC BIC (Bank Identifier Code) numbers will be phased out for cross­border payments by February 2016.

3. PAYMENT CARDS All payment cards will be migrated from magnetic strip to EMV chip. There is currently no date for completion.

Timeline for the SEPA process The process began in 1999 and is now in the final migration phase.

February 2014: Credit transfers and direct debits in the EU should be carried out in accordance with the standards mentioned above. A six month transition period is being introduced.

February 2016: For niche products with specific characteristics a longer transition phase is made for in some countries.

31 October 2016: EU member states with non­euro currencies must adhere to stan­ dards set for credit transfers and direct debits in euros, by this end date.

SEPA indicators. Key facts at a glance.

SEPA credit transfers as a % of total EU transactions is 93.9%* SEPA direct debit as a % of total transactions is 80.3%* EMV transactions as a % of total transactions is 79.6%** *February 2014­03­21 **June 2013 We hope this information provided in this article is of interest.

If you would like to contact Linea Directa please call 902 123 104 More information on Linea Directa online at www.lineadirecta.com

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Friday, May 2, 2014

FACEBOOK FIEND IS HAVING A LAUGH

HERE’S a perfect example of soft, stupid Britain, which must surely be the laughing stock of the world.

It concerns a triple killer from an immigrant back­ ground who is serving three life sentences for gangland­ style execution of drug deal­ ers plus two other attempted murders. This charmer had to move jails, but in the process he lost or had bro­ ken some of his posses­ sions, including nose­hair clippers, an alarm clock, stereo and a carton of cran­ berry juice. So he sued the prison authorities and, guess what? Some wet, crazy, pathetic judge, not fit for pur­ pose, awarded him £314.97 in compensation. The judge said there had been a "somewhat cavalier disre­ gard for “his rights and for his property" and awarded him a further £500 to com­ pensate him for lost photos and personal items, making it £814.97 in total. In my book, this murderer should have been hanged in the first place, and failing that, being forced into hard labour for the rest of his life. This pris­ oner had the cheek to gloat over his victory on his Facebook page. He wrote he had hoped to send bailiffs to the Ministry of Justice to ensure they paid his com­ pensation. Facebook page?

This b...dy prisoner is allowed to have a Facebook page? Soft, stupid crazy Britain. No wonder half of the rest of the world can’t wait to get past Britain’s borders for the good life. And no wonder there are so many re­offend­ ers, It’s like being on perma­ nent holiday.

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When I was a new father, I wanted my chil­ dren to get out of babyhood as soon as possible. No, not exactly out of the house and married off, but at least potty trained and able, as quickly as possible, to express themselves, so you knew what they were crying for. So it’s a total disbelief that I hear that there are children aged over 5 in hundreds of schools in the UK that are still in nappies. Teachers have reported pupils as old as 15 who have no medical conditions or developmental issues, but who are unable to use the toilet on their own.

Almost 1 in 10 heads and senior staff who responded to a survey said in the past year a child aged between 5 and 7 had worn a nappy to school. There has been growing evidence in recent years that increasing num­ bers of children are starting school in nappies. But this is the first research to suggest the problem extends beyond the Reception year. And experts say it is not just pupils from deprived back­ grounds who are not being toilet trained, but those who

desk, I moved forward.

Instantly the man behind the desk started talking to a col­ league who was passing, totally ignoring me. This went on for about 15 sec­ onds until I interrupted to ask if he would serve me. He then said: "This position’s closed". I went to the next desk and began being served. The next customer went to the other desk and was instantly served. Guess what ­ that customer hap­ pened to be Spanish. I know a lot of Spanish people are, deep down, resentful about what the huge influx of ex­ pats has done to their coun­ try, and I feel the same about what immigrants are doing to Everyone has pet hates Britain. But to display such and I’m going to share arrogance and rudeness is totally wrong, and I would two of mine with you.

It concerns the attitude of remind post office workers, shop and office staff to cus­ and other state workers that tomers, and sadly, it’s getting if it was not for the big influx worse. The first incident hap­ of ex­pats and visitors alike, pened in a post office here they wouldn’t have jobs. The on the Costa Blanca, where next incident happened the staff were insulting and hours later at a beach bar, where I went to the kiosk to displayed hidden racism.

I was the next in line to be be served and I might as well served, and when a cus­ have been invisible! A young tomer had finished at the lad was standing in the cor­ ner playing with his best

have working parents too busy to address the issue.

Can you imagine the stigma for a child having to wear nappies and the ridicule from classmates? If this is not child abuse, I don’t know what is. I find the results of this survey absolutely dis­ gusting. Adults not fit to be parents, putting careers, money, their social life, or whatever, before properly nurturing their child is repre­ hensible. These people are not fit to be parents and it really is about time that peo­ ple were prevented from having children until they were deemed fit to produce them ­ both physically and mentally.

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friend...his iphone. I stood there for a full 15 seconds until again, I could stand it no longer and spoke to him. He jumped out of his skin and served me. All through my working life I have always put customers first ­ people who were giving me stories, advertisers, you name them, they had priority. In fact, unlike many ivory tower newspaper editors, my office door was always open for anyone to come and see me.

With that working attitude I never had one day of unem­ ployment, in fact I was always being offered jobs.

That’s why I have such con­ tempt for some of the skivers of the current generation who seem to think the world owes them a living. Getting the sack and having no ben­ efit back­up for a few weeks might make them have more respect for the job they have.

And that goes for wretched teachers and London under­ ground staff who continually threaten strikes. If it’s good enough to fine parents if they take children away from school for no good reason, then it’s good enough to fine striking teachers too. And if that happened a few times, then perhaps they would stop their continual whinge­ ing and get on with the job they are paid to do.

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Have you noticed that increasingly the church has been getting involved with politics? A few weeks ago, cleric after cleric was banging on about the British poor and the increase in food banks. They were echoing Ed Miliband in claiming that so many people are far worse off now than before the start of the recession.

Hardly surprising when Britain has gone through real austerity, which could have been far worse had not the government got a stabilising hand on the economy.

Perhaps religious leaders in the UK should have a look at the poverty in much of the rest of the world and parts of Europe before trying to make out that Brits are in real hard­ ship. The latest campaign comes from the top RC cler­ ic, Cardinal Vincent Nichols who has accused politicians of using ‘alarmist’ language over immigration to fuel pub­ lic anger at foreigners mov­ ing here. He said most migrants add to the nation’s wellbeing and warned against attempts to foster

distrust of ‘all these people coming to this country’.

Britain’s open door policy of past decades has allowed far too many people into the UK who frankly shouldn’t be there. At last the discussion has turned, with a call to only allow the ´right´ migrants in ­ those who can make a real contribution to Britain. And that does not include the hoards trying to board lorries in Calais to join the UK black economy or take employ­ ment at below minimum wages. There’s no doubt that unrestricted immigration has contributed to keeping UK wages lower than they other­ wise would have been, giv­ ing fuel to Labour’s charge that ordinary people have not benefited from the upturn in the economy. Wages are not likely to rise if there is a ready pool of immigrants willing to work for next to nothing.

So, religious leaders, start thinking of all sides of the argument rather than being blinkered in one direction.

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The Spanish press reported that 35 people had died on Spain’s roads during just the four days of Easter, and three of them were in the Torrevieja area.

This does not surprise me one bit ­ the standard of driv­ ing in Spain, both by the Spanish and foreigners is appalling. Just last week alone, three motorists drove out onto roundabouts with­ out looking as I was going around, causing me to emer­ gency brake; one person shot out of a side turning without looking and another overtook a car in front in such a dangerous way with approaching cars I don’t know how an accident was avoided. I was taught to Advanced Driving standard by a police driving instructor so I always drive defensively, and have been taught to anticipate the stupidity of other drivers. And it’s here in abundance.

The Spanish, particularly youths and young girls, think they are in a bullring, and ex­ pats seem to have left their brains in their home coun­ tries. And as the tempera­ tures rise, the standard of driving progressively gets worse ­ so be warned. Next week, I will tell you of my brush with two police motor cyclists on a roundabout in Spain today. You’ll find it amazing, but not surprising!

Friday, May 2, 2014

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Friday, May 2, 2014

SAY IT IN SPANISH Learn the lingo - with a little help from JEANETTE ERATH Spanish 120 I hope life is treating you well and you are having fun with Spanish, keep going with it, learn at your own pace and things will begin to fall into place. As with everything in life the more you put in to your Spanish, the more you will get out.

Here are the answers to last week’s reflexive verbs: 1) Laura needs to wash her hair – Laura necesita lavarse el pelo/ Laura se necesita lavar el pelo, 2) I prefer to wash with perfumed soap – prefiero lavarme con jabón perfumado / me prefiero lavar son jabón perfumado, 3) He needs a bath – él necesita bañarse / él se necesita bañar, 4) the children need a bath tonight – los niños nece­ sitan bañarse esta noche / los niños se necesitan bañar, 5) you need to brush your hair – necesitas cepillarte el pelo / te necesitas cepillar el pelo, 6) you can sleep – puedes dormirte / te puedes dormir, 7) I need to go to bed – necesito acostarme / me necesito acostar, 8) the man needs to shave before he goes out – el hombre necesita afeitarse antes de salir / el hombre se necesita afeitar antes de salir, 9) Elena reads a book before going to bed – Elena lee un libo antes de acostarse, 10) we read a news­ paper after we get up – leemos el periódico después de levantarnos, 11) Instead of going to bed I´m going to study Spanish – en vez de acostarme, voy a estudiar español, 12) the family eat dinner after sitting down – la familia cena después de sentarse.

I hope you again did well with the above translations, keep working at your Spanish and whatever level you are at you need to keep speaking and keep it in your head, after all your hard work you don´t want to lose it!

I am interested to hear from you, as readers and learners, what you would like me to cover, would you like me to go back to more basic teaching, such as regular verb endings, for those of you who have maybe forgotten, with some new translations, or maybe you want to practise irregular verbs in the present tense. This course is for you, and if I get a lot of

you asking for the same thing then I will write the lessons. I always keep my teaching to my students level, of course it´s more difficult with so many of you learning but if there is something that is worrying you or you didn´t understand first time round let me know, together we can be confident in Spanish.

This week we are going to think about the verb Hacer, it´s a very useful verb and one that can be used a lot, not just in it´s ´normal´ form but also in expressions.

The verb hacer means, to make / to do. When I teach English as a foreign language I find I have to spend some time on the two verbs, to make and to do, because in English we use them to mean different things, however in Spanish it is the same verb whether you´re making a piece of furniture or doing whatever, although we tend to use ´do´ in more expressions than the Spanish it is still useful to know and we tend to use it more in the phrases: “what are you doing?” and “I´m not doing anything”. Here is the conjuga­ tion of hacer: hago, haces, hace, hacemos, hacéis, hacen. Although in this lesson we are going to concentrate on the third person singular hace.

There are a few expressions that in English we use the verb ´to be´ where in Spanish they use hace: Hace sol = It is sunny, hace calor = it is hot, hace frío = it is cold, hace viento = it is windy, hace buen tiempo/tiem­ po bueno = it´s nice weather, hace mal tiempo/tiempo malo = it is bad weather. These expressions need to be learnt and remembered so we´re not trying to say está calor, or está frío, because with these expressions you are saying something in particular is hot or cold, not talking about the weather. Practise these sayings the next time you talk to someone in Spanish, even if it´s just when you go into a shop and say hello to the assistant, follow it up with “hace calor hoy” and you will be met with a knowing nod and a smile. Because the words hot, cold, etc are nouns they are modified with adverbs not adjectives, and so we use mucho rather than muy if we want to say very, the same way as with tener expressions.

The verb "hacer" can also be used in a number of ways to indicate the length of time an action has been taking place. One way is to use the formula hace + time + que + present tense of the verb to state how long someone has been doing something, for example: hace un año que estu­ dio español – I have been studying Spanish for one year, hace dos años que ellos trabajan allí – they have been working there for two years.

To make this type of expression negative, just add the word "no" before the verb: hace un año que no trabajo en el bar – I haven´t worked in the bar for one year, hace dos años que ellos no trabajan allí – They havent worked there for two years.

Another way to use the verb hacer to express how long something has been taking place is to use the following for­ mula: present tense of the verb + desde hace + time, e.g. estudio español desde hace un año – I´ve been studying Spanish for one year, vivo en España desde hace nueve años – I´ve been living in Spain for nine years.

To make this type of expression negative, again simply add the word no before the verb, as in the following formula: no + present tense conjugation of the verb + desde hace + time: No estudio español desde hace un año – I haven´t studied Spanish for one year, No vivo en Inglaterra desde hace nueve años – I haven´t lived in England for 9 years.

So, when it comes to using the verb hacer to state the length of time an action has been taking place, there are two ways to say the same thing: Estudio español desde hace un año / Hace un año que estudio español – I have been studying Spanish for one year.

There is one other expression I want to remind you of before I finish this lesson and that´s when we use hacer to talk about the past. In Spanish the verb hace is used to mean ´ago´ and is placed in front of the time, the formula is hace + number + time, e.g. hace dos años = 2 years ago, hace tres meses = 3 months ago, hace una semana = one week ago.

Friday, May 2, 2014

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Friday, May 2, 2014

The health benefits of fruit

While you probably know that fruit is good for you, you may not realize just how far­ reaching the health benefits of fruit can be.

Fruit and vegetables are the ultimate body protection and performance foods. If you want to live a long and healthy life, upping your fruit and vegetable intake could be one of the best changes you make to your diet.

Fruits are rich in:

• Vitamins — they’re particularly good for vitamin C and folic acid.

• Minerals — many are a great source of potassium.

• Other phytochemicals, such as the antioxidants that defend our bodies’ cells from damage.

• Natural sugars • Water • Fibre

Eating plenty of fruit and vegetables has been shown to:

• Reduce cancer risk.

• Reduce heart disease and stroke risk.

• Reduce cataract risk.

• Reduce Alzheimer’s risk.

• Reduce type­2 diabetes risk.

• Help prevent birth defects.

• Help keep your digestive system working smoothly.

• Help you to maintain a healthy weight.

• Help you to lose weight.

• Improve your lung function.

• Possibly slow down skin ageing.

It’s true that all fruits are good for you, but there are a few which offer some specific and quite impactful health benefits. You may already know about some of them, but oth­ ers may surprise you! Let’s take a look at these special fruits offering the most bang for your buck: 1. Cranberries Cranberries do more than help prevent urinary tract infections. There is evidence that the anti­bacterial chemicals they contain can help prevent gum disease and tooth decay and their antioxidant action may help to raise levels of HDL, the good cholesterol that can help maintain healthy arteries.

Cranberries are rich in flavonoids. These phytonutrients have been shown to inhibit certain types of cancer. Polyphenolic com­

pounds found in cranberry may help to pro­ tect against neurodegenerative diseases, and the memory and coordination losses often associated with aging.

2. Raspberries Raspberries come in various colours.

Although primarily red, raspberries may also be black, purple and even golden. There are over 200 known species of raspberries, and interestingly enough, raspberries form part of the rose or Rosaceae family, together with strawberries. There are two types of rasp­ berries that are commercially available, the wild type summer bearing and the double or ever bearing plants.

Raspberries are rich in vitamin C and may contain potential anti­cancer agents.

Raspberries have also been linked to a pos­ itive promotion in cardiovascular health and cancer. A study published in the Journal of BioFactors reported that raspberries contain almost 50% more antioxidant activity than strawberries. These antioxidants have been shown to fight off cancer cells.

3. Apples Apples are not bursting with vitamins and minerals like other fruits, though they do pro­ vide a bit of vitamin C and potassium.

However, without a doubt apples are amaz­ ing for controlling blood sugar, says Dr. Barry Sears in his book The Top 100 Zone Foods. “Apples are a good source of soluble fibre, especially pectin, which helps control insulin levels by slowing the release of sugar into your bloodstream. Pectin also helps reduce cholesterol levels by lowering insulin secretion.”

We now also know that apples fairly shine in antioxidant phytochemicals; the principal ones identified so far are phenolics and the flavonoid quercetin. Quercetin is a powerful antioxidant, a natural anti­histamine, and anti­inflammatory. Studies have shown that quercetin reduces cancer risk of prostate, ovary, breast, gastric and colon cells.

Don’t peel your apples, as quercetin is found only in the skin.

4. Pineapple Pineapple, Ananas comosus, belongs to the Bromeliaceae family, from which one of its most important health promoting com­ pounds, the enzyme bromelain, was named.

Bromelain is a mix of enzymes which has

Pesky Prostates !!!!!

My next few articles are going to be about male problems and the first article will be about keeping the prostate healthy.

Following a healthy diet and taking more exercise can help keep your prostate healthy and reduce the risk of developing prostate problems. If you are already suffering from prostate disease, its even more vital to start implementing the following measures straight away to help control the symptom.

Tomatoes provide a vital defence against prostate cancer. Make tomatoes a regular part of your diet preferably cooked and with added olive oil in order to increase the amount of healthy lycopene which are found in tomatoes, red grapefruit and watermelon.

Patients scheduled for prostate removal should find that by receiving Lycopene 15mg supplement twice daily for 3 weeks their PSA levels should drop by as much as 20% with the gland beginning to shrink.

Lycopene supplements should be available from your health food shop.

Obesity has been strongly linked to

been shown to lessen inflammation and reduce certain types of swelling. Pineapple is also an excellent source of the trace min­ eral manganese, which is an essential cofactor in a number of enzymes important in energy production and antioxidant defences.

In addition to manganese, pineapple is an excellent source of vitamin C and a good source of vitamin B1, copper, dietary fibre and vitamin B6. Among the many benefits of vitamin B1 is its ability to increase blood cir­ culation and provide a greater supply of oxy­ gen to the blood cells. In addition, vitamin B1 is known to help with the proper metabolism of carbohydrates, making it vital to good digestion.

5. Blueberries Scientists at the U.S. Department of Agriculture Human Nutrition Centre have found that blueberries rank No. 1 in antioxi­ dant benefits, compared to 40 other fresh fruits and vegetables. Antioxidants help neu­ tralize harmful “free radicals” that can lead to cancer and other age­related diseases. The total antioxidant capacity of blueberries (24 mcgmol Trolox equivalents per gram) is twice that of spinach and three times that of oranges. This extraordinary fruit is also rich in pectin.

Blueberries are available year­round in many forms including fresh, frozen, juice, puree, concentrate, and dried. Fresh blue­ berries are higher in vitamins A and C than frozen or canned. A cup of blueberries pro­ vides nearly a third of the RDA for vitamin C. It would appear that most of the vitamin C is lost as a result of freezing and canning.

6. Strawberries A strawberry is a superstar when it comes to antioxidant power, says Dr. Barry Sears.

In addition, 1 cup of strawberries gives you a whopping 140% of your RDA of vitamin C. Strawberries are also packed with flavonoids, two in particular, called quercetin and kaempferol. Research shows that these two flavonoids help keep bad cholesterol (LDL) from oxidizing and damaging artery walls.

Strawberries also contain ellagic acid, which acts as a scavenger to “bind” cancer­ causing chemicals, making them inactive. It inhibits the ability of other chemicals to cause mutations in bacteria. In addition, it prevents binding of carcinogens to DNA and reduces the incidence of cancer in cultured human cells exposed to carcinogens.

Select strawberries that have a full red colour and avoid any that are uncoloured or white.

7. Bananas The banana is a tropical fruit, a large berry that’s handy and healthy, providing 452 mil­ ligrams of potassium, 33 milligrams of mag­ nesium, and just over 2 grams of fibre.

Studies have shown that people with high levels of potassium in their diet have a lower incidence of hypertension, even if they don’t watch their salt intake.

The banana shares many benefits of its fruity brethren: It’s low in calories, fat, sodi­ um, and much of its fibre is soluble — the kind that can help lower cholesterol. It stands out, however, because it has lots of potassium and a respectable amount of magnesium. That’s why it’s a favourite fruit of most athletes and often is recommended for people with diarrhoea or high blood pres­ sure.

Bananas are also a very good source of vitamin B6, providing one­third of the RDA in a single serving.

DO YOU KNOW THAT THE SKIN ABSORBS EVERYTHING PUT ON IT? DR MACHI MANNU’S ADVICE CLINIC Email your questions and comments to contact@medb.es

Do you know that your skin absorbs water and some soap while you have a shower? Just like the prostate disorders­­­ in fact overweight men brain, heart and liver, the are twice as likely to suffer from prostate skin is also an organ, albeit problems. The reduction of foods that are the largest organ in the high in oestrogen is helpful, as oestrogen body. All over the world, dominance can worsen cancer of the through the ages and prostate, milk and meat contain high levels across diverse cultures, a of oestrogen. Keep the intake of saturated flawless skin tone is cher­ fats to a minimum as they have also been ished and valued as a sign linked to prostate problems. Lower the of beauty, health and vitali­ intake of omega 6 fatty acids as they may ty especially by women promote inflammation and have been found who generally go to to stimulate prostate cancer growth and extraordinary lengths to increase the intake of omega 3 fatty acids achieve a beautiful and which inhibit it. Oily fish is recommended as even facial and body com­ it contains essential amino acids needed for plexion. And therein lays optimum prostate health. the danger. Women today For more confidential information on use between 10 and 25 prostate health contact me on: 667 817 546 cosmetic products on their or the office on: 966 191 514 skin every day. From show­ Remember we are still offering private er gel, shaving cream, Bowel Cancer Screening Checks shampoo, conditioner, face Next week I am going to be taking a peek wash, and that is just the at Erectile Dysfunction so watch this space beginning. There are ton­ !!!! ers, facial moisturising

creams, body lotions, hair gels, mascaras, powders, deodorants, lip balms, lip­ sticks, chap sticks, and several others. Younger women tend to use more products mainly due to the influence of the media, but the sad truth is that most of the images seen on the tel­ evision or the internet have been digitally altered to create an illusion of a per­ fect but unattainable skin tone.

Just as alcohol or ciga­ rettes are now recognised to cause harm to the body, some of the chemicals we put on our skin are known to be toxic to the body.

One can easily assume that the cosmetics industry is well regulated, which should make it difficult for them to use deadly ingredi­ ents, but the truth is that there is not enough govern­

ment regulation in the industry. Surprisingly, many of the chemicals used are trade secrets and cannot be disclosed to the general public. Even when the chemicals are listed on the products, most of us will have a very hard time iden­ tifying which chemicals in a typical long list of ingredi­ ents are harmful to human health.

You may not be able to research every chemical used to manufacture your cosmetic products; howev­ er you can protect yourself by cutting down the number of cosmetics you use on a daily basis and seek out products made from more natural sources.

FOR A FULL BODY DIAGNOSTIC SCAN CALL DR MACHI MANNU: 965071745

Friday, May 2, 2014

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Friday, May 2, 2014

JAB COUGHED UP TROUBLE Q

About 7 months ago, I started hav­ ing dry cough; however since February this year, I started coughing up sputum that is sometimes stained pink. I had been to my doctor earlier and he pre­ scribed 2 different antibiotics that didn’t help. When I noticed the colouration, I informed my doctor who sent me for an X­ray and later on a CT scan. But nothing was detected. I have wondered if there is a connection between a flu jab I had just before the cough started. I will appreciate any advice you can give me.

A

I agree with you that your problems may have arisen from the flu vaccine you had. Flu vaccines contain a preservative known as thimerasol. And this chemical con­ tains up to 50% mercury. Mercury is a known neurotoxin. This means that mercury causes damage to the nerves and brain.

Mercury toxicity has also been linked to res­ piratory problems, memory loss, depression, cardiovascular diseases, and digestive problems. Very recently I came across someone who also took the flu vaccine late last year, and shortly after developed extremely high blood pressure. And another who suffered from diarrhoea for several weeks after the vaccine. Flu vaccines like other types of vaccines cause an acute inflammatory reaction in the body and this can manifest in the form of symptoms such

as cough, bone pains, diarrhoea, high blood pressure etc. Since you’ve tried several courses of antibiotics without much help, it may be because your cough is due to an inflammatory reaction and not an infection. It is very probable that you many have strained your respiratory or digestive pas­ sages while coughing. This slight injury would have resulted in bleeding that you see in your sputum. From the history you give, I believe you will benefit from a metabolic detoxification. This will help your body elimi­ nate poisonous toxins, such as the mercury from the flu jab. These toxins may be caus­ ing your problem. Mercury accumulates especially in the fat cells of the body. The brain is 60% fat, and the nerves have a fatty coating around them. This is why mercury has been linked to neuro­degenerative dis­ eases such as Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s, and multiple sclerosis. A metabolic detox con­ tains useful nutrients such as N­Acetyl Cysteine, Glutamine and many other vital chemicals needed by the liver and intestines to pump out toxins from cells. It is also likely that your immune system would have been weakened from the courses of antibiotics you had. For this reason, you will need to stimulate your immune system. Reishi extract is a powerful immune booster, and one of the best in my experience.

Echinacea also improves the immune sys­

tem. High quality natural products are highly effective and beneficial for the body. These benefits are never felt with cheaper and low quality supplements and natural remedies.

Q A

Are there any health benefits of tak­ ing evening primrose oil?

Evening primrose oil (EPO) has a num­ ber of health benefits because it is very rich in GLA – Gamolenic acid. GLA is one of the few Omega­6 fatty acids with anti­inflam­ matory properties. Usually, Omega­6 oils trigger inflammatory reactions in the body.

When GLA is consumed, it is broken down in the body into substances called prostaglandins which help lower blood pres­ sure, improve blood circulation, improve nerve function, and regulate calcium levels in the bones. And while the body can make tiny amounts of GLA, this process can easily be blocked by factors such as smoking, pol­ lution, alcohol, sugar as well as a lack of vitamins and minerals. Evening primrose oil is consumed as a supplement because it is very rich in GLA. Other important sources of GLA are blackcurrant oil and starflower oil.

EPO is very useful for combating diabetic neuropathy, a complication that occurs from long term diabetes. Diabetics are unable to process essential fatty acids (EFA) such as GLA. This causes a variety of disturbances, such as weak blood vessel walls and prob­ lems with blood clotting. When this occurs,

the blood flow and oxygen supply to the nerves becomes diminished, causing dia­ betic neuropathy­ dysfunction of the nerves due to diabetes. Researchers have observed that when people took 360 mg of GLA daily for 6 months they had reduced symptoms associated with diabetic neuropa­ thy, compared to people who received a placebo in the same time period. Evening prime rose oil appears to help reduce dry eyes that are common with people who wear contact lenses. One clinical trial involving 76 women found that those that took EPO for 6 months had reduced dryness and also felt a lot more comfortable with their contact lens­ es than the placebo group. Another advan­ tage is that EPO maintains the health of the skin. If the skin is low in essential fatty acids, it becomes scaly, rough, itchy, prematurely wrinkled and dry. It also become prone to spots because the oily glands becomes dis­ torted and blocked, trapping grease. Taking evening oil as a supplement helps to keep the skin soft. It also reduces the symptoms of eczema and dry or itchy skin. EPO also provides the building blocks for making sex hormones. Some evidence suggests that it can help treat pre­menstrual syndrome. It relieves bloating and the painful breasts that most women experience with PMS. In men, it has been shown to improve the symptoms of benign prostate enlargement (BPH).

Friday, May 2, 2014

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Friday, May 2, 2014

SPANISH NEWS

KIDNAPPERS ARRESTED Alzheimer’s hope An Asturias restaurateur was kidnapped, bound and tied up with duct tape and tor­ tured with electric shocks and his family ordered to pay a hefty ransom. The National Police have arrested four men and one woman who tricked the victim into meeting them by pretending to be selling wholesale goods and pressing him into agreeing to an appointment. Once he reached the meeting point, he was threatened at gunpoint and forced to drive to a sports club in Pola de Siero, Asturias, where two other men in bal­ aclavas tied him up with reins used on hors­ es and with duct tape.

They then gave him electric shocks and threatened to kill both him and his family unless he handed them over a large sum of money in the next few days. The men report­ edly revealed information personal to the victim and his relatives to show that they were not making empty threats and knew where to find them. After three hours, he was released with orders to pay them by a given deadline. When this date was nearly up, he received a menacing letter reminding him of the 'debt' he had with the attackers.

By then, the Judicial Police's Blackmail and Kidnap Section had managed to identify five people involved in the abduction, includ­ ing the three who had held the restaurateur

hostage, together with the daughter of one of these and another man who is thought to have worked behind the scenes. The arrests were made in Azuqueca de Henares (Guadalajara province, in central Spain) and in Gijón, Avilés and El Berrón, all in the region of Asturias.

DANI GOES BANANAS

Barcelona star Dani Alves decided to eat a banana thrown at him dur­ ing Sunday's game against Villarreal, in a quick­witted reaction which is quickly turning into a worldwide anti­ racism campaign with the help of his teammate Neymar.

The Brazilian full­ back picked up the banana as he pre­ pared to take a corner and rather than take offense to the racist jibe, he gobbled up the fruit in one bite.

"I have been in Spain 11 years and it has been the same for 11 years,” Alves said after his team’s 3­2 comeback. “You have to laugh at these backward people.

"We are not going to change it, so you have to take it almost as a joke and laugh at them."

Spanish boffins may have made a major breakthrough in the battle against Alzheimer’s Disease. Scientists at the University of Barcelona have for the first time used gene therapy to reverse memory loss in mice with Alzheimer's, an advance that could lead to new drugs to treat the dis­ ease. The team injected a gene which caus­ es the production of a protein that is blocked in patients with Alzheimer's into the hip­ pocampus — a region of the brain essential to memory processing — into mice that were in the initial stages of the disease.

"The protein that was reinstated by the gene therapy triggers the signals needed to

activate the genes involved in long­term memory consolidation," the university said in a statement.

Gene therapy involves transplanting genes into a patient's cells to correct an oth­ erwise incurable disease caused by a failure of one or another gene. The finding was published in The Journal of Neuroscience and it follows four years of research.

"The hope is that this study could lead to the development of pharmaceutical drugs that can activate these genes in humans and allow for the recovery of memory," said the head of the research team, Carlos Saura.

A fitness programme designed by two nurses from Muchavista is making waves in Spain, with simple concept of exercising with other people, whilst making new friends into the bargain!

Margarita Berenguer and Almudena Martín have doubled the number of participants in a matter of months. The nurses were wor­ ried about the high number of cardiovascu­ lar problems being detected at their clinic, and set up an exercise programme for those at risk. Improvements in the partici­ pants’ health were noted almost immediate­ ly, and they became happier as were social­ ising at the same time. The original group was made up of people aged 56 to 74, but the average age has gone down as neigh­ bours as young as 40 and even 23 have joined in, with the 23 year old suffering from obesity and never had the courage before to

leave home! The 43 participants have all grown close, and look forward to their 90 minute work out 3 times a week, with the youngest participant losing 20 kilos in a few months. Now doctors’ surgeries all over Spain are looking to copy the successful pro­ gramme, and you can find the group on Facebook under “pacientes con marcha”.

Fit, fun, and friendly

Support for Alves’ witty reaction immedi­ ately starting appearing on Twitter and Facebook from all corners of the world.

"Utterly brilliant reaction from Alves. Treat the racist berk with complete disdain!," tweeted Gary Lineker, a former FC Barcelona player.

Brazilian teammate Neymar is now leading the way in a support campaign for Alves after he posted a picture on Instagram of himself with his two­year­old son eating a banana.

Friday, May 2, 2014

SPANISH NEWS

New schedules please

A Madrid government minister is trying to tell TV companies when they should screen their prime­time shows in order that people can get to bed earlier. Health minister Ana Meto wants channels to bring forward their big programmes up to an hour so that they finish no later than 11.00pm. Research has shown that with football matches, series and news not starting until late at night and often finishing after midnight or even 1.00am on a working day, this – as well as late hours for employees – means that peo­ ple in Spain sleep far less than their north­ ern European counterparts.

And these factors have been largely behind speculation over whether it would be better to put the clocks back an hour so

that Spain sits in its correct geographical time zone – that of GMT, or BST in sum­ mer. The first step towards helping Spaniards get to bed earlier is likely to involve TV shows – at present, prime­time slots get going at 10.00pm. Mato has met with the broadcasting board, UTECA, and the director­general for the department responsible for the commercial Spanish networks.

As well as programmes finishing earlier at night, she wants to see lunchtime prime­ time shows start and finish between 30 and 60 minutes before they do currently in order to 'synchronise routines' and 'use time sensibly'. The overall aim is to 'change habits of a lifetime', says Mato.

A council run firework display in the Valencian holiday resort of Cullera turned into a raging inferno last Saturday night after fireworks were let off from the castle. The procession up to the top of the mountain carrying an effigy of the Virgin Mary ended in terror when a carcass of one of the fireworks ignited and the scrubland on the east and south sides of the hill went up like a tinderbox at around 11.30pm. High winds caused the fire to spread out of control and within min­ utes, it had engulfed most of the mountain.

Firefighters from 8 different brigades managed to bring the flames under control by around 1.00am and only the previous morning, the Valencian Regional Government had issued a level 3 or pre­emergency warning over the risk of forest fires, given the high temperatures, strong winds and the fact it has barely rained in the last few months.

Opposition members on Cullera council called the ruling PP administration’s actions over the display as 'irresponsible' and say they have 'put several lives at risk' by 'ignoring' warnings and setting off a firework display. The party is likely to face legal action as a result.

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OOPS!

KIDS GET A SHOCK

HEART MELTER

A baby Java mouse­deer ­ one of the smallest hoofed animals in the world ­ has been born at a zoo in southern Spain. The new­born deer is "no bigger than a hamster" and weighs about 100 grams, staff at Bioparc Fuengirola told the El Pais newspa­ per. Adult Java mouse­deer are rarely bigger than rabbits or weigh more than 1kg. They are also known to be fiercely intelligent, and the species represents wisdom in many local legends in its native Java.

The baby mouse­deer is the eighth to be born in Fuengirola, which is running a pro­ gramme to breed the rare species. Its moth­ er was born at the same zoo in 2007, and its father came from Zoo Lille in France last year. The family lives in the zoo’s Hidden Forest which recreates the ruins of a temple

lost in the Asian jungle. Bioparc Fuengirola says there are currently 43 Java mouse­deer in Europe, but warns the future of the species is threatened by massive deforesta­ tion in South East Asia and the replacement of jungles with oil palm plantations.

Spanish parents and teachers could soon be getting a major boost to deal with naughty children if the government gets its way. Ministers have approved a new draft Child Protection Bill which would force all people aged under 18 in Spain to do house­ hold chores "in accordance with their age and regardless of their gender". They will also have to "participate in family life" and respect "their parents and siblings", accord­ ing to a report from the ABC newspaper.

There are obligations for minors on the school front too: children would have to "respect school rules" and "study as required". More generally these children "will have to maintain a positive attitude" about learning". At the same time, will also have to "respect their teachers and other

staff at education teachers", as well as their fellow students.

The draft law doesn't set out penalties for children who fail to fulfil these require­ ments, but marks a new shift in the legisla­ tion with its focus on the responsibilities of children. Other key elements of the pro­ posed bill include the establishment of a list of known paedophiles who could be banned from working with children.

Schools and companies hiring staff to work with children will have to ask appli­ cants to provide a copy of their criminal record. The legislation would also require people working with children to report pos­ sible crimes against children and failure to do so will be considered a crime of omis­ sion.

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Friday, May 2, 2014

HEALTHY LUNCH IDEAS BEEF, MINT AND MANGO TABBOULEH Ingredients 2 lean thin cut sir­ lion beef steaks 150g bulgar wheat Juice of 1 lime 1tbsp fresh parsley 1tbsp fresh mint black pepper 1 fresh ripe mango ¼ cucumber To serve: Pomegranate seeds Green salad leaves

roughly chopped, and 15ml (1tbsp) fresh mint, roughly chopped, black pepper, 1 fresh small ripe mango, roughly chopped and ¼ cucumber, cut into thin slices. Toss together and top with steaks cut into thick strips.

3. Drizzle with fruity dressing of your choice and sprinkle with pomegranate seeds.

4. Serve with handful of green salad leaves.

QUINOA WITH HALLOUMI Ingredients

Method

1. Cook 150g bulgar wheat in accordance with packet instructions. Heat griddle pan, and cook 2 lean thin cut sir­ lion beef steaks, seasoned for 2­3 minutes each side.

2. Into a large bowl add warm cooked bulgar wheat along with juice of 1 lime, 15ml (1tbsp) fresh flat leaf parsley,

100g (3½oz) quinoa, rinsed 1 small red onion, sliced 1 tsp cumin seeds 2 tbsp olive oil 8 baby plum toma­ toes, halved 125g (4oz) halloumi cheese 1 tbsp red wine vine­ gar Salt and freshly ground black pepper A good handful of mint leaves Pitta breads and yogurt, to serve

Method

1. Put the quinoa in a pan with 300ml (½ pint) cold water.

Bring to the boil, then reduce the heat and simmer for 20 mins until the water is absorbed.

2. Meanwhile, heat the grill and put the onion slices on a bak­ ing sheet. Sprinkle with the cumin seeds and 1 tbsp oil. Grill for 5 mins, stir, then add the tomatoes and cook until they are

just softened.

3. Cut the cheese into 6 thin slices. Cook them on a hot grid­ dle pan, or under the grill, for about a minute on each side.

4. Drain the quinoa, stir in the grilled tomatoes and onions and all the cooking juices on the baking sheet, along with another tbsp of oil, the vinegar and seasoning. Spoon into a bowl. Shred the mint leaves into the salad and stir in careful­ ly. Arrange the cheese on top. Serve with pitta breads and yogurt.

TUNA, LIME AND CORIANDER JACKET Ingredients 4 medium size pota­ toes (175g­225g/6­ 8oz each) 2 x tins tuna in springwater 1 lime 1 handful fresh coriander, leaves picked, stalks chopped 1 red pepper

Method

1. Scrub the potatoes, then dry and prick each one several times with a sharp knife.

2. Microwave Method: Cook one potato (225g/8oz) for 6 mins on full power (800W), turn half way through cooking. Allow to stand for 1 ­ 2 mins before serving. If cooking more than one potato at a time you need to increase the cooking time accordingly.

Oven Method: Rub a few drops of olive oil into the potato skin, place the potatoes in a pre­heated oven at

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Friday, May 2, 2014 200°C/400°F/gas 6 on a baking tray with salt sprinkled around the potato. Bake for 1¼ hours or until soft.

3. When potato is ready, open the tins of tuna, in a bowl mix with lime juice and fresh coriander. Serve the mix on top of the jacket. Season with freshly ground black pepper.

RATATOUILLE OMELETTE Ingredients 1 ½ tbsp olive oil 1 small onion, sliced Half aubergine, sliced 1 small courgette, sliced Half red pepper, deseeded and diced 1 small clove garlic, crushed 1 x 200g tin chopped tomatoes 2 tbsp basil, chopped A knob of butter 4 eggs 3 tbsp milk 1 tomato deseeded and diced 30g parmesan, grated 30g gruyere cheese, grated

Method

1. Heat the oil in a frying pan. Add the onions and aubergine and gently fry for 5 to 6 minutes until the aubergine and onion are starting to soften. Add the courgette and pepper and con­ tinue to fry for another 5 minutes, turning the vegetables. Add the garlic and fry for one minute. Add the tomatoes and sea­ son. Simmer for 10 minutes until the vegetables are just soft.

2. Add the basil.

3. Melt the butter in a small omelette pan. Mix the eggs and milk together and season. Pour into the pan. Smooth the vegetables on top.

4. Cook on the hob over a medium heat until the edges are firm but the Place under a hot grill for about 4 minutes or until lightly golden and the middle is cooked. Slide onto a plate.

Serve with salad.

MUSHROOM AND BEAN SALAD Ingredients 200g frozen edame (soya) beans 100g green beans, halved 150g pack button mushrooms, halved

1 small red onion, chopped 410g can mixed beans, drained 100g piece chorizo sausage, diced For the dressing: 1tbsp sundried tomato paste Juice of 1 lemon 4 tbsp olive oil 1 clove garlic, finely chopped Salt and freshly ground black pepper

Method

1. Bring a saucepan of water to the boil, add the edame and green beans and cook for 3 minutes, drain then rinse with cold water and drain again.

2. Add to a salad bowl with the mushrooms and chopped onion. Add the drained canned beans and chorizo and mix together.

3. Put all the dressing ingredients into a small bowl and whisk together. Drizzle over the salad, cover and leave to stand for 30 minutes before serving. Serve with French bread to mop up the dressing.

VEGGIE SATAY NOODLE SALAD Ingredients 2x150g pack marinat­ ed tofu pieces 150g sugar snap peas, sliced 2 medium carrots, peeled 1 red pepper, thinly sliced 1 bunch spring onions, sliced 1 red chilli, chopped small bunch mint, roughly chopped small bunch basil, roughly chopped 1tbsp sunflower oil 3 bundles of rice noodles from a 250g pack 1tbsp toasted sesame oi l3tbsp peanut butter juice of 3 limes 2tbsp sweet chilli sauce

Method

1. Heat the sunflower oil in a large frying pan and cook the tofu for 5­6 mins, just to heat through. Meanwhile, boil the rice noodles according to pack instructions, drain and refresh under cold running water. Drain well and mix with the sesame oil.

2. Using a vegetable peeler, pare carrots into ribbons. For the dressing, whisk together the peanut butter, lime juice, chilli sauce, 100ml cold water and season.

3. Put the noodles, tofu and remaining ingredients into a large bowl and toss to combine. Drizzle with dressing and serve.

SCRAMBLED EGG AND TOMATO SALSA WRAP Ingredients For the tomato salsa 1tsp olive oil 2 large tomatoes, deseeded and diced 6 spring onions, thinly sliced Half small red chilli, diced 1tsp caster sugar Juice of half a lime Half tsp balsamic vinegar 1tbsp chives, thinly sliced Salt and pepper For the scrambled eggs A knob of butter 4 eggs 3tbsp milk 2 small tortilla wraps 25g Parmesan cheese, finely grated

Method

1. To make the salsa, mix all of the ingredients together in a bowl. Season well and chill whilst you make the scrambled eggs.

2. Beat the eggs with the milk and season. Melt the butter in a small frying pan. Add the egg mixture to the pan. Stir over the heat until the eggs are scrambled to your liking. Remove from the heat.

3. Warm the wraps in the microwave or in a dry frying pan.

Put one wrap on a board. Spoon half of the eggs along one side. Top with the salsa and a sprinkle of cheese. Fold in the sides, then roll up and slice in half. Repeat with the remaining wrap.

CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP Ingredients 225g chicken breast fillets, skinned 1tbsp olive oil 2 red peppers, de­seeded and sliced into thin strips 4 spring onions, trimmed and cut into thin strips

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Friday, May 2, 2014

1.2ltr hot chicken stock 225g vermicelli noodles 150g baby spinach leaves

Method

1. Cut the chicken breasts into bite­sized pieces. Heat the oil in a large saucepan. Add the chicken and cook for 2­3 mins, stirring until just golden. Add the peppers and stir­fry for 1 min then add the spring onions and stir­fry for 1 min more.

2. Stir in the stock, season with salt and freshly ground black pepper and bring up to the boil, reduce the heat slightly and add the noodles. Simmer for 4­8 mins see That’s good to know) or until the noodles are just beginning to soften. Add the spinach and heat until just wilted. Serve straight away in warm bowls.

MIXED BEAN SALAD WITH MUSTARD DRESSING Ingredients 90g (3oz) green beans, trimmed and halved 1 red onion, peeled and chopped 2 sticks celery, chopped 410g can cannellini beans, rinsed and drained 410g can borlotti beans,rinsed and drained 6 cherry tomatoes, halved For the dressing: 2 tbsp wholegrain mustard 1 tbsp runny honey Finely grated zest and juice of 1 lemon 4 tbsp olive oil Salt and freshly ground black pepper

Method

1. Put the green beans into a heatproof bowl with 2 tbsp water. Cover with cling film, pierce and microwave on high for 2 mins. Rinse in cold water and put into a large bowl.

2. Rinse the chopped red onion in a sieve, to remove the strong flavour, and then add to the bowl.

3. Gently mix in the celery, canned beans and tomatoes.

4. To make the dressing: Put mustard, honey, and lemon zest and juice into a small jar with the oil. Season and shake to mix. Drizzle the dressing over the salad and stir lightly.

COURGETTE, RED PEPPER AND FETA SALAD Ingredients 1 red chilli, deseeded and finely diced 1 garlic clove, peeled and crushed 2tbsp lemon thyme leaves 1tbsp balsamic vinegar 6tbsp fat­free vinaigrette a pinch of sweetener salt and freshly ground black pepper For the salad: 2 red peppers, deseeded and cut into thick slices 500g courgettes, trimmed and thickly sliced lengthways low­calorie cooking spray 1 large red onion, peeled and thickly sliced into rounds 110g reduced fat Feta cheese, roughly crumbled 2tbsp roughly chopped mint

Method

1. Preheat the barbecue or grill 2. Make the vinaigrette by whisking all the ingredients togeth­ er in a bowl, season to taste and set aside.

Place the peppers on the barbecue, skin side down, and

cook for 5­10 minutes until blistered and blackened.

3. Alternatively, place them skin side up under a preheated hot grill and cook for 5­10 minutes until well blis­ tered. Transfer the peppers to a bowl, cover with cling film and set aside.

4. Lightly spray the courgette slices with low calorie cooking spray and season well. Cook on the barbecue or a hot griddle for 1½­2 minutes on each side until flecked golden and trans­ fer to a mixing bowl.

5. Lightly spray the onion rings with low calorie cooking spray, season well and cook on the hot griddle for about 30 seconds on each side until flecked golden. Add to the cour­ gettes in the bowl and pour over the vinaigrette.

6. Add the peppers to the rest of the vegetables and leave to marinate until the courgettes are cool. Check the seasoning and serve topped with roughly crumbled Feta and sprinkled with chopped mint.

Friday, May 2, 2014

The Vista Card is gathering apace across the Costa Blanca, and if you don’t have one, then you’re going to miss out on a bumper collection of offers and promo­ tions across a whole range of shops and businesses in the area.

When you go to a participating business, ask them what the Vista Card can do for you with the current special deals. The Vista Card logo will be on display on the doors and windows of the ever increasing list of participating venues, which will also include discounts on dining out. Ask about getting a card at the various busi­ nesses, and you can start to spend and save!

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Friday, May 2, 2014

Jett’s Belgian friends A group of kind­hearted Belgians have raised over 2 and a half thousand Euros to help get a malnourished horse the treatment that he needs to return fit and well to the Easy Horse Care Rescue Centre in Rojales.

Jett suffered from severe deformation of his hind legs which was caused by him contract­ ing a virus as a new born foal but he amaz­ ingly managed to survive. He needed an urgent but costly operation to fix his deformed joints which were ravaged with arthritis, and he went off to Barcelona in February to have the expensive work done.

A young Belgian woman called Arissa and her friends went to the Centre in December whilst on holiday in the area and they were so impressed, they helped out at the stables twice a week. They also heard about Jett’s plight and so Arissa organised an event in her home town of Zingem which included a cheese and wine party and a raffle which raised the extraordinary sum of 2 and a half thousand Euros. The donation, handed over in person by Arissa to the Centre team, will cover much of the cost of Jett’s operation, and he should return to Rojales in the next 5

TOP NIGHT

The sound of brass and voices made for a great combination in the recent evening pro­ weeks or so at the end of his lengthy recu­ moted by the Torrevieja Costa Lions Club with all the proceeds going to the needy of peration period.

San Miguel de Salinas who are helped by Vecinos de San Miguel Archangel. JB Brass joined forces with the Torrevieja Barbershop Harmonisers to provide an entertaining night of music and song enjoyed by a full house at

the Teatro Municipal.

The club is always on the lookout for new members and their next business meeting for you to come along and to see what hap­ pens is this Thursday May 8th at the Cabo Cervera Hotel in La Mata, Torrevieja, starting at 7.30pm.

You can E­mail:­ davedanie@gmail.com or look at the web site:­ membership@torreviejacostalions.org

San Javier’s Air Academy is to repeat last year’s suc­ cessful series of limited guided tours for people to examine what goes on behind the scenes at the Spanish Air Force base at Santiago de la Ribera. The strictly limited guided tours, which are conducted in Spanish, have to be booked in advance at the San Javier Tourist offices and will run on 4 Friday’s in May, namely on the 9th, 16th, 23rd and 30th from 7.30am.

The squadron’s cadets will put on a parade, and there’ll be a chance to look at the muse­

um as well as watching a special video cele­ brating the Spanish Air Force which is 75 years old this year.

PINK IS THE COLOUR

TAKE OFF TIME

Generous local people have been bolster­ ing the coffers recently for Maria and the Pink Ladies who in turn raise money for the AECC cancer charity. Singer and Bono­trib­ ute act, Robert Bonovox put on an evening of entertainment featuring local acts at The Club in Quesada under the banner of Artists Against Cancer which raised over 16 hun­

dred Euros. The Pink Ladies also got a boost of a 13 hundred Euro donation from La Cascada Golf Society on La Finca Golf Course in Algorfa, who raised the money from sponsorship, a raffle and a golf tourna­ ment, whilst a day of entertainment at The Emerald Isle in Los Altos raised over 500 Euros on St.George’s Day.

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Friday, May 2, 2014

Horoscopes Aries March 21 ­ April 19 Today you might feel a little out of sorts, Aries, and your concentration could be diminished. You might even have a little trouble focusing on your work. Don't worry about it. It's more mental than anything else, and it will pass. You might feel the need to drink coffee all day to stay alert.

Try to exercise some restraint on this, since it could be counterproductive. Hang in there.

Taurus April 20 ­ May 20 Today doubts, uncertainties, and insecurities could plague a love relationship, Taurus.

Does your beloved share your passion? Is your friend being honest and open with you?

Does this relationship have a future? The only way to get past this inner turmoil is to take one step at a time and take a good long look at the results of each step. Only in this way will your doubts be resolved one way or the other.

Gemini May 21 ­ June 20 A member of your household could be going through some rough times, Gemini, and as a result might become overly dependent on your moral and emotional support. This is flattering, but it could also be a drain on your energy.

Carefully consider what you really need to say to your friend. Sometimes you have to hit a person over the head with the truth (figuratively speaking) in order to wake them up.

Cancer June 21 ­ July 22 Some blatantly untrue gossip could reach you today, Cancer. When you think about it, you'll see that what you heard defies all logic and is actually rather ludicrous.

However, the person who reports it to you could be so dynamic and persuasive that you believe it for a little while. Remember to check the facts in such situations. You'll stay grounded in reality rather than get caught up in fantasy.

By Pandora Leo July 23 ­ August 22 Leo, today you could feel the need to work on your finances ­ pay bills, make deposits, and plan a budget for next month ­ but your heart won't be in it. Your mind is probably on more interesting proj­ ects. If you try to force it, you'll be unable to concentrate, so it could be a waste of time. It won't hurt if you wait a few days.

You should be in a more practical space by then.

Virgo August 23 ­ September 22 Usually, Virgo, you have pretty good pow­ ers of focus and concentration. However, today you might find that these powers are flagging. Working could be difficult, and you could even find yourself dwelling on disappointments from your past. You might want to stop and try to figure out why these memories are coming up now.

Releasing them could reset your concen­ tration back to normal.

Libra September 23 ­ October 22 A strange person promoting him­ or her­ self as a mind­reader of sorts could come onto the scene today, Libra. This person, however, is more mixed up than mindful.

Therefore, take any predictions with a grain of salt, if not the whole shaker.

Chances are good that none of them have any basis in reality. Trust your intuition.

Your insights should be far more depend­ able than those of the so­called psychic.

Scorpio October 23 ­ November 21 Your financial goals could seem vague and uncertain at this time, Scorpio. Perhaps you face a crossroads in your life as far as income goes, and you might not be sure which way to go. Or else you could be plan­ ning to make some purchases and have a hard time deciding which are most important.

This probably isn't the day to try to make any kind of decision. Wait a day or two.

Sagittarius November 22 ­ December 21 A colleague's motives could seem rather sinister today, Sagittarius. This person has a definite agenda of his or her own that may not take into account the needs or feelings of anyone who could conceivably stand in the way. This person isn't to be trusted.

Don't excuse his or her behavior. The best course of action now is to stay out of the way and protect yourself on all levels.

Capricorn December 22 ­ January 19 Today doubts may crop up for you con­ cerning certain spiritual concepts that you've embraced for a long time, Capricorn. Don't let this cause a crisis. It could just be a normal part of your inner growth. Instead, go back and read the old books that got you started, and then read some new ones and try to view the ideas from your current perspective. You could find they aren't so doubtful after all.

Aquarius January 20 ­ February 18 Some disturbing dreams could bring up doubts you may have about the motives of someone you consider a friend, Aquarius.

This person might have been acting strangely, and you could be wondering about the future of your friendship. It's important to look at the symbols in the dreams and try to analyze what they're telling you. They might be indicating your friend, you, or both. Think about it!

Pisces February 19 ­ March 20 Some underhanded and not altogether hon­ est machinations could be happening at the workplace, Pisces. You could be offended by it, and you could also worry if it threatens your job. Then you might also consider what you're doing there, if it's that sort of organi­ zation. These inner conflicts could signify the need to focus on the realities and dis­ cern exactly what you want to do.

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Friday, May 2, 2014

RICHARD CAVENDER

Bluemoon Solutions www.bluemoonsolutions.es

BlueMoon Solutions is the computer and IT services com­ pany on the Costa Blanca, they provide quality computer services at realistic prices and specialise in working with home users and small businesses.

Heart Bleed Bug – what you need to know in plain English!

Ok, so unless you have been living under a rock for the last few weeks, you will have heard about this bug (also referred to as SSL or secure cer­ tificates). A bug is a mistake in the programming code that has been around for over 2 years.

This is the first thing that you should be aware of. The problem has already been around for over 2 years, so although it’s now receiving a lot of publicity, the chances are that if it was going to affect you then it would have already done so.

So what is it? Well it’s a bug that affects certain SSL (secure sockets layer) certificates – these are the things that usually protect us when we are on a secure website. These websites are usually ones where we use our credit card ­ for example when booking flights, buying things online or even accessing our email. Secure websites are the ones that display a padlock next to the website address like this one…

Richard moved to Spain seven years ago hav­ ing left his management background behind in the UK and decided to use his IT skills to help home users and small businesses with their PC problems. Now a relaxed 'computer man' he is out and about in the Spanish sun every day, making house and shop calls and using his vast experience and qualifications to (usually) sort out the problem there and then. Computers are his hobby as well as his work so don’t be surprised to get an answer to your email in the early hours!

ADVICE: Ivan wanted to know how to play DVD’s bought in the US here.

Q

Hi there, I hope you can help. My friend has some DVDs that have been made for the American market. Is there any way we can get these converted over to play on his DVD player? Thanks Ivan

A …the bug means that it’s possible for unscrupulous people to “read” the information sent to and from these websites, meaning that anything you sent in the past two years think­ ing that it was secure was potentially at risk – that’s why it is such a big deal.

My take on this is that if someone had gained access to my private information (email, credit card info etc.), then they would have used that information by now and I would therefore already be aware. Of course this doesn’t mean that you should ignore the risk now we know about it – just don’t get stressed about it Ok, so what should you do about it? Well the first thing to do is make a list of the web­ sites that you think may have been affected – that’s any site you use that has a secure login. Once you have your list, you can check the website is now secure by using the following tester website…

https://filippo.io/Heartbleed

…just enter the website address that you want to check and you can see whether the site has been fixed or not.

So, once you know which websites that you use have been fixed, you can then safely change your password for that website – there is no point in changing the password if the website has not been fixed, as it will still be vulnerable in the same way as it has been for the past 2 years.

That’s it – follow some simple steps, don’t get stressed about it and everything will be fine – of course we are always here if you need any specific advice or help.

Hi Ivan, all commercially produced DVD’s are region coded to enable playback only in the relevant licenced region, in Europe we have the region code of 2 and the US has the region code of 1. Only DVD’s that match the region code of your DVD player can be played in that device and, of course, all of the DVD players sold in Europe will be encoded to region 2 and not 1 – meaning that you and your friend will prob­ ably not be able to play the DVD’s. Computers and some DVD players will allow you to change the region of the player 5 times before its fixed to the last region, you could do this to play your DVD’s once if you just wanted to watch them, or perhaps you might want to invest in a region free DVD player that will allow you to play any DVD from any region – these are easily found via the Internet.

Don’t forget you can follow me on twit­ ter @bluemoonspain Alternately why don’t you sign up for my newsletter. You can do this by going to:­ www.bluemoonsolutions.es and fill in the form that is on any page except the front page. office@bluemoonsolutions.es www.bluemoonsolutions.es Mobile: 655 044 970

Office: 902 906 200

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Friday, May 2, 2014

GOOGLE HOPEFUL OVER DRIVERLESS CAR GOOGLE says it has turned a corner in its pursuit of a car that can drive itself.

The leader of the technology giant's dri­ verless car project wrote in a blog post that test vehicles are becoming far more adept at city driving.

They can already comfortably handle motorways, he said, but city driving presents a virtual obstacle course of pedestrians, cyclists and blind corners.

Google says the cars can now negotiate thousands of urban situations that would have stumped them a year or two ago.

To navigate and avoid crashes, Google's fleet of retrofitted Lexus SUVs relies on sen­ sors such as lasers and radar. A driver is ready to take over if needed.

Google has said it wants to get the tech­ nology to the public by 2017.

"We're growing more optimistic that we're heading toward an achievable goal ­ a vehi­ cle that operates fully without human inter­ vention," project director Chris Urmson wrote.

His post was the company's first official update since 2012 on progress towards a driverless car, a project within the compa­ ny's secretive Google X lab.

In initial versions, human drivers would be expected to take control if the computer fails. The promise is that eventually there would be no need for a driver. Passengers could read, daydream, even sleep or work while the car drives.

Google maintains that computers will one day drive far more safely than humans, and

part of the company's pitch is that robot cars can substantially reduce traffic fatalities.

The basics already are in place. The task for Google and traditional car firms, which are also testing driverless cars, is perfecting the technology.

Sensors create 3D maps of a self­driving car's surroundings in real time, while Google's software sorts objects into four cat­ egories: moving vehicles, pedestrians, cyclists and static things such as signs, kerbs and parked cars.

Initially, those plots were fairly crude. A gaggle of pedestrians on a street corner reg­

Self-cleaning car?

Motorists may never need to wash their cars again, as Nissan is helping to develop paint that repels mud, rain and dirt.

The technology, which Nissan tells us is “super­hyrophobic and oleophobic”, cre­ ates a protective layer of air between the paint and the environment, preventing dirt sticking to the car.

Nissan Note already uses self-cleaning technology

Called Ultra­Ever Dry, the tech is cur­ rently being tested on the Nissan Note, which already features a ‘wash and blow dry’ function on its rear view camera. This uses compressed air and water to keen the lens clear and allow the Notes’ safety sen­ sors to work in all conditions.

Chief marketing manager for the Nissan Note, Geraldine Ingham: "The Nissan Note has been carefully engineered to take the stress out of cus­ tomer driving and Nissan's engineers are constantly thinking of new ways to make

families' lives easier.

"We are committed to addressing every­ day problems our customers face and will always consider testing exciting, cutting edge technology like this incredible coat­ ing application."

Self-cleaning cars could become widespread

Although Nissan has said there are no plans to introduce the self­cleaning paint as standard, it has suggested it will consid­ er offering the coating as an optional extra.

The coating is being marketed and sold

by UltraTech International, meaning other manufacturers may offer it on their cars in the future.

For now, engineers at Nissan’s Technical Centre are assessing the real­ world effectiveness of the technology by testing it on the Note in a variety of condi­ tions.

And we can assure you, this is not a belated April Fool’s spoof…

istered as a single person, for example.

Now, the technology can distinguish indi­ viduals, according to Google spokeswoman Courtney Hohne, as well as solve other rid­ dles such as construction zones and the likely movements of people riding bicycles.

To deal with cyclists, engineers initially programmed the software to look for hand gestures that indicate an upcoming turn.

Then they realised that most cyclists do not use standard gestures and others weave down a road the wrong way.

So engineers have taught the software based on thousands of encounters during

the approximately 10,000 miles the cars have driven autonomously on city streets, Ms Hohne said.

The software projects a cyclist's likely movements and plots the car's path accord­ ingly, then reacts if something unexpected happens.

"A mile of city driving is much more com­ plex than a mile of freeway driving, with hundreds of different objects moving according to different rules of the road in a small area," Mr Urmson wrote.

Before recent breakthroughs, Google had contemplated mapping all the world's stop signs. Now the technology can read stop signs, including those held in the hands of school crossing wardens, Ms Hohne said.

While the car knows to stop, just when to start again is still a challenge, partly because the cars are programmed to drive defensively.

At a four­way stop, Google's cars have been known to wait in place as people driv­ ing in other directions edge out into the intersection ­ or roll through.

The cars still need work on other pre­ dictably common tasks. Among them, understanding the gestures that drivers give one another to signal it's OK to merge or change lanes, turning right on red and driving in rain or fog, which requires more sophisticated sensors.

To date, Google's cars have gone about 700,000 miles in self­driving mode, the vast majority on motorways, the company said.

Friday, May 2, 2014

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Friday, May 2, 2014

CODE CRACKER Code Cracker is a crossword puzzle with no clues; instead, every letter of the alphabet has been replaced by a number, the same number representing the same letter throughout the puzzle. All you have to do is decide which letter is represented by which number. In this week’s puzzle, 7 represents F and 14 represents M, when these letters have been entered throughout the puzzle, you should have enough information to start guessing words and discovering other letters.

QUICKIE

Across 1 Crude (5) 4 Angled (4) 9 Boat race meeting (7) 10 Keyboard instrument (5) 11 Acquire (3) 12 Brightly coloured (5) 14 Fool (5) 15 Long for (5) 16 Chooses (4) 18 Border (4) 20 Aches (5) 22 Concur (5) 23 Smooth glossy fabric (5) 25 In favour of (3) 26 Apartments (5) 27 Outshine (7)

29 Drench (4) 30 Foundation (5)

Down 1 Ring (6) 2 Strong emotion (5) 3 Pose (3) 5 Vacuum (9) 6 Merchandising (7) 7 Generous or forgiving (11) 8 Reluctant (5) 13 Indigestion (9) 17 Maybe (7) 19 Faux pas (5) 21 Except if (6) 24 Snares (5) 28 Weep (3)

Last weeks Solution

Across: 1 Cosset, 4 Press, 9 Afterward, 10 Ape, 11 Gaudy, 12 Extreme, 14 Pass, 16 Pest, 21 Entitle, 23 Surge, 24 Rob, 25 Grenadine, 26 Faith, 27 Depend.

Down: 1 Change, 2 Satsuma, 3 Early, 5 Rod, 6 Shame, 7 Eager, 8 Fever, 13 Tip, 15 Set, 17 Surmise, 18 Learn, 19 Deter, 20 Legend, 22 Tibia, 23 State, 25 Get.

Scribble Pad

DOUBLE CROSS-WORD Solve the Double Cross­Word puzzle using either the standard or cryptic clues, the answers are exactly the same.

CRYTPIC CLUES Across 1 You and I are after Buzz for compost (5) 4 There is a sharp knife is in the ambulance today (6) 9 Club keeps memory in knots (7) 10 Princess cross over the delay taken in adding on an extra room to the palace (5) 11 Predict socialist to hold American capital (4) 12 Lower and leave stranded (3­4) 13 Used to be found in Washington DC (3) 14 If a mother is involved with a criminal group (5) 16 Up to unlit broadcast (5) 18 Games without me will result in idle chit­chat (3) 19 Voluntarily avoid this beaten up RAF bore (7) 20 Reel back with a lasciv­ ious look on one's face (4) 23 Places for members to socialise where suits are required? (5) 24 Organised midshipman and a canine for a small boat (7) 25 Get involved with bro­ ken spinet (4­2) STANDARD CLUES Across 1 Organic fertiliser (5) 4 Medical knife (6) 9 Knotted lace work (7) 10 Add on (5) 11 Scan the print (4) 12 Disappointment (3­4) 13 Existed (3) 14 Crime syndicate (5) 16 Up to (5) 18 Air­like fluid substance (3) 19 Refrain from doing (7) 20 Lascivious look (4) 23 Stout sticks (5) 24 Small sailing boat (7) 25 Become involved (4­2) 26 Plundered treasure (5)

26 Get a kick at the end of day from the spoils taken (5) Down 1 Urdu, hmm! Confused?

No, boring (7) 2 City made from bits of Meccano (5) 3 Marine mammal left under the ocean (4) 5 A staunch representation of bear's breeches (8) 6 Associate with a regal spouse (7) 7 Tin containing bull meat is a pollutant (5) 8 Sleek backing for the under parts in boat­build­ ing (5) 13 Support for aquatic recreation? It wreaks havoc! (5­3) 15 In favour of music mak­ ing a lot of money (7) 17 Confused Clare in New York was a victim of petty theft (7) 18 Keeps a tight hold on one's bags (5) 19 Concentrate on central point (5) 21 Muse of love gets to the centre of the copper atom's heart (5) 22 Ignore cooked buns (4) Down 1 Boring (7) 2 Saudi holy city (5) 3 Make tight (4) 5 Herbaceous plant (8) 6 Husband or wife of a reigning monarch (7) 7 Poisonous substance (5) 8 Boat bottoms (5) 13 Ride behind a speed­ boat (5­3) 15 Large amount of money (7) 17 Stealing (7) 18 Grabs onto (5) 19 Centre of interest (5) 21 Greek muse of lyric and love poetry (5) 22 Refuse to acknowledge (4)

Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Expected, 5 Plea, 9 Portend, 10 Adore, 11 Dine, 12 Protest, 15 Tester, 16 Enigma, 19 Trolley, 21 Flat, 24 Haven, 25 Scooter, 26 Pill, 27 Pardoned.

Down: 1 Expedite, 2 Parents, 3 Crew, 4 Elders, 6 Lions, 7 Awed, 8 Ratting, 13 Telling, 14 Battered, 17 Gelatin, 18 Red Sea, 20 Revel, 22 Chap, 23 Bold.

FILL IT IN

Complete the crossword grid by using the given words:

2 letter words Hi Ma Or Us 3 letter words Ale All Are Ark Art Ave Bam Doe Dry Ell Era Gal Gel

Had Has Hoe Ids Loy Nae Nil Oft Ort Ply Ron Sap See Shy Sir Ten Tut 4 letter words Abet Aloe

Arcs Area Bars Bass Blur Boat Boss Cent Cost Cosy Cure Cuss Dose Else Envy Flee Leer Lens Less Lino Mass

Oats Oral Parr Rage Rent Scan Sear Sent Tell Tent Yeah 5 letter words Alone Ankle Avers Bagel Cedar Curio Hasty Horse

Meant Melee Sales Stand 6 letter words Cosset Parrot Sandal Settee Shears Stylus 7 letter words Cavalry Restore 8 letter words Cashmere Tuneless

SPANISH-ENGLISH CROSSWORD

Improve your Spanish ­ clues in Spanish, answers in English or vice versa.

Across 1 Anoche (4,5) 4 Pierna (3) 6 Gemelos (5) 8 Manzana (fruta) (5) 9 Trajes (5) 10 Behind (at the back) (5) 11 Sistema (6) 13 Bones (human, ani­ mal) (6) 16 Proyectos (5) 17 Wall (interior) (5) 19 Comb (for hair) (5) 20 Dueño (de casa, coche, perro) (5)

21 Gold (metal, com­ modity, currency) (3) 22 Sink (kitchen) (9) Down 1 Whips (7) 2 Cielos (5) 3 Herboso (6) 4 Hares (7) 5 Goals (5) 7 Arañas (7) 10 Aquarium (7) 12 Champú (7) 14 Help! (7) 15 Esfera (6) 16 Peter (5) 18 Baile (pieza, arte) (5)

37

Friday, May 2, 2014 Across 1 Edge tool for cutting grass with a long handle that must be held with both hands and a curved blade that moves parallel to the ground (6) 5 Official routes of com­ munication (8) 9 Light biscuit made with egg white, sugar and ground almonds or coconut (8) 10 Exit a computer (3,3) 11 Mountain range in southern Spain along the Mediterranean coast to the east of Granada (6,6) 13 City in western Nevada noted as a gam­ bling resort and for its liber­ al laws enabling quick mar­ riages and divorces (4) 14 Number of players in a rugby league team (8) 17 Surname of US gener­ al who commanded the Allied forces in China and

Burma and India during World War II, nicknamed Vinegar Joe (8) 18 Facts and statistics collected together for refer­ ence or analysis (4) 20 In North America, a prison for people convicted of serious crimes (12) 23 Hindu festival cele­ brating the end of the mon­ soon also known as the Festival of Lights (6) 24 Dish of beaten eggs cooked in a frying pan and served plain or with a savoury or sweet topping or filling (8) 25 Huge bronze statue of the sun god Helios that was built around 285 BC and that stood beside the har­ bour entrance on the island of Rhodes for about 50 years be fore it was toppled by an earthquake: ­­­­­­­­ of Rhodes (8) 26 Small slender­bodied

SUDOKU (Easy)

Quiz Word

chiefly marine decapod crustaceans with a long tail and single pair of pincers, many species are edible (6)

Down 2 Which word can pre­ cede: black, face, field, gas,

hole, man and tar (4) 3 Spore­bearing fruiting body of a fungus, typically in the form of a rounded cap on a stalk, especially one that is believed to be inedi­ ble or poisonous (9) 4 Guided missile devel­ oped by the French govern­ ment for use against ships (6) 5 Song written by Bill Martin and Phil Coulter as the UK entry in the 1968 Eurovision Song Contest, performed by Cliff Richard (15) 6 According to legend, an island in the Atlantic Ocean that Plato said was swallowed by an earth­ quake (8) 7 Arid region forming most of southern Israel, between Beersheba and the Gulf of Aqaba, on the Egyptian border (5) 8 Establishment with

coin­operated washing machines and dryers for public use (10) 12 American golfer nick­ named Supermex, who was the first man to win all three Open championships (Canadian, US and British) in the same year (3,7) 15 Child’s stuffed play­ thing named after US President Theodore Roosevelt (5,4) 16 Study of heredity and the variation of inherited characteristics (8) 19 Professional basket­ ball team based in Los Angeles (6) 21 Final and fully devel­ oped adult stage of an insect, typically winged (5) 22 In physics and chem­ istry, the smallest compo­ nent of an element having the chemical properties of the element (4)

SALLY’S SIMPLE SPANISH

FORMAS DE COCINAR Match these words with their Spanish translations then find them in the wordsearch.

(Answers below)

a la brasa

freír

a la plancha

guisar

al vapor

hervir

asar

hornear

batir

mezclar

calentar

moler

cocer

picar

congelar

rallar

enfriar

rebozar

sports QUIZ

ANSEWRS 1. Roger Milla 2. 4 3. Red Rum 4. Baseball 5. Brands Hatch 6. 4 Inches 7. Henry Cooper 8. 14 9. 2.5m 10. Southpaw 11.

Badminton

Last Week’s Solutions Code Cracker Last weeks Quiz Word Solution Across: 1 Costa Rica, 6 Focus, 9 Rarebit, 10 Quinine, 11 Yuppie, 12 Hijacker, 14 Opel, 15 Chesterton, 18 Buttresses, 20 Wasp, 23 Sri Lanka, 24 Patter, 26 Twin tub, 27 Adam Ant, 28 Yalta, 29 Bull's eyes.

Down: 1 Currycomb, 2 Scruple, 3 Albeit, 4 Iota, 5 Acquiesced, 6 Frigates, 7 Cricket, 8 Shear, 13 Shish kebab, 16 Nephritis, 17 Cream tea, 19 Trivial, 21 Actuary, 22 Casals, 23 Satay, 25 Hall.

Empareja estas palabras ­ Match the Spanish and English words You will find the answers at the bottom of the quiz.

1.a la brasa, 2.a la plancha,

k.to grate, l.to roast, m.to boil,

17.rallar, 18.rebozar.

3.al vapor, 4.asar, 5.batir,

n.to stew, o.to cool down,

6.calentar, 7.cocer, 8.congelar,

a.to mix, b.to bake, c.to grind,

p.to fry, q.to cook in water,

9.enfriar, 10.freír, 11.guisar,

d.barbecued, e.to heat,

r.to freeze.

12.hervir, 13.hornear,

f.to dip in batter, g.to beat,

14.mezclar, 15.moler, 16.picar,

h.to chop, i.grilled, j.steamed,

Soduko

Span ­ Eng

Quizword

Answers: 1d, 2i, 3j, 4l, 5g, 6e, 7q, 8r, 9o, 10p, 11n, 12m, 13b, 14a, 15c, 16h, 17k, 18f.

1. Who is the Oldest Goal Scorer in a World Cup Finals Match?

2. How Many Players Are In A Polo Team?

3. In 1977 Which Horse was Guest Of Honour At The Opening Of The Steeplechase Ride At Blackpoll Pleasure Beach?

4. In Which Sport Would The Detroit Tigers Face The Chicago cubs?

5. At Which Sporting Venue Do Competitors Travel Down The Brabham Strait?

6. How Wide Is The Beam In Womans Gymnastics?

7. Which Former Heavy Weight Boxing Champion Has An Identical Twin Brother Called George?

8. What Is The Maximum Number Of Clubs Allowed In A Golf Bag? 9. What Diameter Is The Circle From Which You A Discus?

10. What Term Is Used For A Boxer Who Leads With His Right Hand?

11. Poona, was the original name of what sport or game?

Fill It In

38

Friday, May 2, 2014

TRELI ON THE TELLY BLACK IS GOOD with ALEX TRELINSKI Black humour by its very nature is not easy to do well and is not to every­ body’s taste because everybody has a very dif­ ferent view of what is close to the line and whether it tickles their particular funny bone.

In recent years, though not a strong fan of horror movies, I’ve really enjoyed the macabre American Horror Story on the UK FOX chan­ nel with some great cast members and a real sense of mickey­taking that is totally over the top. And now from the same FX channel in the States, we have the delicious Fargo being screened on Channel Four.

The series has a familiar

look to it as it’s based on the Coen Brothers movie that tells the bizarre story of a timid insurance salesman who is fed up with life and bumps into a hit man who ends up killing an old school bully that over 20 years later has still been intimidating him. The great news is that it was like watching an extend­ ed version of the movie, with the Coen Brothers also down on the production credits. It

had me chuckling all the way, even during some pretty gruesome “over the top inci­ dents”.

The two big performances come from new international Brit star, Martin Freeman as insurance­man Lester Nygaard, and totally unrecognisable from dear old Watson in Sherlock or Bilbo Baggins in the big­screen Hobbit, and from Billy Bob Thornton as the laid­back smart­talking killer, Lorne Malvo. Every Malvo line had me in stitches as this 10­part mini­series has movie­style production values and joins the recent True Detective as the best new US drama show of the year. The fact that it is also on a mainstream free to view UK channel is great news for the large number of viewers who can check out a show that has wowed both critics and audiences alike.

Fargo is full of cracking per­ formances and a bristling script that goes against the grain of a movie adaptation normally being a disaster when taken to the small

screen (M*A*S*H* being an exception over 4 decades ago….and that was quality black humour as well).

q

Freeman’s old Office co­star Ricky Gervais is also back with his black com­ edy, Derek, on Channel Four.

Gervais plays the naïve and backward, yet likeable and caring worker at an old peo­ ple’s home in a show that is done in a documentary fash­ ion. I like the amiable nature of this half­hour despite the

vicious criticisms from many quarters last year about the portrayal of the mentally ill lead character and also of older people. It’s black come­ dy Marmite which you’ll either love or hate, and that’s pretty much the story of Ricky Gervais and his career, who has the courage of his convictions to do what he feels is right, and not to dance to the tune of TV net­ works and movie companies.

Friday May 2 00:35 This Week 01:20 Holiday Weatherview 01:25 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Fake Britain 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Don't Get Done, Get Dom 12:30 First Time on the Front Line 13:00 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Perfection 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 Spring Kitchen with Tom Kerridge 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 20:00 The One Show 20:30 A Question of Sport 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 MasterChef 22:00 Have I Got News for You 22:30 Outnumbered 23:00 BBC News 23:25 National Lottery Update 23:35 The Graham Norton Show

00:20 Snooker: The World Championship 01:10 Digby Jones: The New

Troubleshooter 02:10 Panorama 02:40 This Is BBC Two 05:00 Schools: Science ­ The Human Body 06:00 Schools: After Life ­ Rot Box Detectives 07:00 This Is BBC Two 07:20 Homes Under the Hammer 08:20 The Travel Show 08:45 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 09:30 The Great Interior Design Challenge 10:30 Mary Berry Cooks 11:00 Snooker: The World Championship 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Snooker: The World Championship 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Great British Menu 20:00 Snooker: The World Championship 22:00 Natural World 23:00 The Trip 23:30 Newsnight

00:35 Harbour Lives 01:05 Jackpot247 04:00 Tonight 04:25 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV Meridian Weather 15:00 Jo Frost Family Matters 16:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Ejector Seat 18:00 The Paul O'Grady Show 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Weekend Escapes with Warwick Davis 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Lewis 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV Meridian Weather 23:35 The Beatles: The Night That Changed America ­ A Grammy Salute

BLOODY TALES OF THE TOWER New series. Tudor historian Suzannah Lipscomb and journalist Joe Crowley investigate the history of the Tower of London, examining stories that challenge accepted beliefs about the infamous prison using original historical sources and dra­ matic reconstructions. In the first edition they con­ sider why it took executioner John Ketch five blows to decapitate the Duke of Monmouth in July 1685.

00:00 Embarrassing Bodies: Live from the Clinic 01:00 One Born Every Minute 02:00 Random Acts 02:05 Love for Sale with Rupert Everett 03:00 How to Get a Council House 03:55 Unreported World 04:20 Shop Secrets: Tricks of the Trade 04:50 SuperScrimpers 05:45 Kirstie's Handmade Treasures 06:05 Deal or No Deal 07:00 Countdown 07:45 Will & Grace 08:10 According to Jim 08:35 The King of Queens 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 11:00 Undercover Boss USA 12:00 Come Dine with Me 13:00 Channel 4 News Midday 13:05 Come Dine with Me 14:40 A Place in the Su 15:40 Countdown 16:30 Deal or No Deal 17:30 Celebrity Fifteen to One 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:30 Unreported World 21:00 Marvel's Agents of SHIELD 22:00 Gogglebox 23:00 Alan Carr: Chatty Man

00:00 Person of Interest 01:00 Access 01:10 SuperCasino 04:05 Gibraltar: Britain in the Sun 05:00 HouseBusters 05:50 Great Artists 06:15 Wildlife SOS 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Family!

08:00 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Milkshake! Monkey 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Police Interceptors 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Benidorm ER 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 Diagnosis Murder 16:15 My Family's Secret 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 19:55 Party Election Broadcast 20:00 Bloody Tales of the Tower 21:00 Ice Road Truckers 22:00 NCIS 23:00 NCIS: Los Angeles

39

Saturday May 3 03:00 Question Time 04:00 This Is BBC Two 00:20 Bad Education 00:55 EastEnders 02:50 Weatherview 02:55 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 11:00 Saturday Kitchen Live 12:30 Nigellissima 13:00 Football Focus 13:45 Sportsday 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:15 Snooker: The World Championship 17:30 Final Score 18:10 Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa 19:30 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 19:50 Pointless Celebrities 20:40 The National Lottery: In It to Win It 21:30 Casualty

07:00 Angel Face 08:30 Great British Menu 09:00 Great British Menu 09:30 Great British Menu 10:00 Great British Menu 10:30 Great British Menu 11:00 Snooker: The World Championship 13:00 Spring Kitchen with Tom Kerridge 13:45 Spring Kitchen with Tom Kerridge 14:30 Talking Pictures 15:10 Young Winston 17:30 Snooker: The World Championship 18:30 Natural World 19:30 Flog It! 20:00 Snooker: The World Championship 22:30 Generation War

22:20 The Guess List 23:00 BBC News; Weather

00:05 Later ­ with Jools Holland 01:10 Snooker: The World Championship 02:00 The Birth of Empire: The

Jackpot247 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA ITV Nightscreen Dino Dan Matt Hatter Chronicles Canimals Sooty Digimon Fusion Horrid Henry Adventure Time ITV News Weekend The Hungry Sailors Murder, She Wrote ITV News and Weather ITV Meridian Weather The Jeremy Kyle Show USA The Unforgettable All Star Family Fortunes A Touch of Frost Peter Pan ITV Meridian Weather ITV News Meridian ITV News and Weather Let Me Entertain You New You've Been Framed!

Britain's Got Talent Amazing Greys Prey The Americans

00:05 Rude Tube 01:10 Brooklyn Nine­Nine 01:30 Withnail & I 03:25 Random Acts 03:30 Happy Endings 04:15 Desperate Housewives 05:00 SuperScrimpers 05:55 Deal or No Deal 06:50 River Cottage Bites 07:05 The Hoobs 07:30 Trans World Sport 08:30 FIM Superbike World Championship 09:00 The Morning Line 10:00 Weekend Kitchen 11:00 The Big Bang Theory 11:50 How I Met Your Mother 12:45 The Simpsons 13:15 The Simpsons 13:45 Marvel's Agents of SHIELD 14:40 Channel 4 Racing 17:10 Come Dine with Me 17:40 Come Dine with Me 18:10 Come Dine with Me 18:40 Come Dine with Me 19:15 Come Dine with Me 19:40 Channel 4 News 20:05 For the Love of Cars 21:00 Grand Designs 22:00 Green Zone

GREEN ZONE

23:20 Match of the Day

00:00 Weather

01:40 04:00 04:45 07:00 07:25 07:50 08:05 08:20 08:45 09:00 09:25 09:30 10:25 11:25 12:25 12:34 12:35 13:30 14:00 14:45 16:45 18:50 18:50 19:00 19:15 19:45 20:15 21:30 22:35 23:30

Action thriller starring Matt Damon. In the wake of the US­led invasion of Iraq, military officer Roy Miller is charged with finding the weapons of mass destruction that sparked the conflict. When no weapons are found, Miller begins to questions the accuracy of the intelligence and uncovers a con­ spiracy that makes him wonder who he can trust.

East India Company

00:00 The Nightmare Neighbour Next Door 01:00 SuperCasino 04:10 Police Interceptors 05:00 HouseBusters 05:50 Great Artists 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Fifi and the Flowertots 07:25 Bubble Guppies 07:35 The Mr Men Show 07:50 Chloe's Closet 08:00 Roobarb and Custard Too 08:10 Bananas in Pyjamas 08:25 Make Way for Noddy 08:35 Milkshake! Monkey 08:40 City of Friends 08:55 Little Princess 09:10 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:25 Angelina Ballerina 09:45 Rupert Bear 10:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:15 Jelly Jamm 10:30 LazyTown 11:00 Access 11:05 The Dog Rescuers 11:30 Cowboy Builders 12:30 World's Busiest 13:30 Greystoke: the Legend of Tarzan, Lord of the Apes 16:05 Sands of the Kalahari 18:05 The Vikings 20:10 5 News Weekend 20:15 The Worst Kind of Hunter 21:00 NCIS 22:00 NCIS 23:00 The Bone Collector

Sunday May 4 for You 00:45 The Football League Show

00:00 What Just Happened?

02:05 Weatherview

01:35 Surviving Summer

02:10 BBC News

03:00 This Is BBC Two

07:00 Breakfast

06:50 The Saint in New York

08:35 Match of the Day

07:55 None but the Lonely Heart

10:00 The Andrew Marr Show

09:45 Countryfile

11:00 The Big Questions

10:45 The Beechgrove Garden

12:00 Sunday Politics

11:15 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites

13:15 MOTD2 Extra

12:45 Spring Kitchen with Tom

14:00 BBC News

Kerridge

14:10 Weather for the Week

13:30 Spring Kitchen with Tom

Ahead

Kerridge

14:15 Bargain Hunt

14:15 Spring Kitchen with Tom

15:15 Flog It!

Kerridge

16:00 Escape to the Country

15:00 Snooker: The World

16:45 Monkey Planet

Championship

17:45 Points of View

19:00 Australia with Simon Reeve

18:00 Songs of Praise

20:00 Snooker: The World

18:45 Pointless Celebrities

Championship

19:35 BBC News; Regional News and Weather

00:30 00:44 00:45 01:40 04:00 04:45 07:00 07:25 07:50 08:05 08:20 08:45 09:00 09:25 09:30 10:25 11:25 13:25 13:29 13:30 14:35 15:05 16:20 16:50 19:20 19:20 19:30 19:45 20:30 21:00 23:00

ITV News and Weather ITV Meridian Weather Through the Keyhole Jackpot247 Dinner Date: Australia ITV Nightscreen Dino Dan Matt Hatter Chronicles Canimals Sooty Digimon Fusion Horrid Henry Big Time Rush ITV News Weekend May the Best House Win Columbo Cries Wolf ITV News and Weather ITV Meridian Weather Big Star's Little Star You've Been Framed!

Britain's Got Talent Let Me Entertain You Licence to Kill ITV Meridian Weather ITV News Meridian ITV News and Weather Catchphrase Off Their Rockers Vera Perspectives

WAR OF THE WORLDS

20:00 Countryfile 21:00 Antiques Roadshow 22:00 The Crimson Field 23:00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 23:25 Have I Got a Bit More News

Sci­fi thriller based on HG Wells's novel, directed

by Steven Spielberg and starring Tom Cruise.

When aliens invade Earth, divorced dock worker Ray Ferrier attempts to save his estranged family from the rampaging extraterrestrials.

00:10 Escape from Alcatraz 02:15 Tim Minchin and the Heritage Orchestra 03:45 Hollyoaks 05:50 Deal or No Deal 06:45 Kirstie's Vintage Gems 06:50 The Hoobs 07:15 British GT Championship 07:40 How I Met Your Mother 08:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 08:55 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:25 Frasier 10:00 Frasier 10:30 Sunday Brunch 13:35 Secret Eaters 14:40 Channel 4 Racing 17:10 The Big Bang Theory 17:35 The Big Bang Theory 18:05 The Simpsons 18:35 Deal or No Deal 19:30 Channel 4 News 20:00 Bear's Wild Weekend with Stephen Fry 21:00 For the Love of Cars 22:00 Fargo 23:00 Underworld: Awakening

01:15 SuperCasino 04:10 World's Busiest 05:00 Wildlife SOS 05:25 Make It Big 05:50 The Funky Valley Show 06:00 Angels of Jarm 06:10 Roary the Racing Car 06:20 Angels of Jarm 06:25 The Funky Valley Show 06:40 Roary the Racing Car 06:50 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Fifi and the Flowertots 07:25 Bubble Guppies 07:40 The Mr Men Show 07:50 Chloe's Closet 08:05 Roobarb and Custard Too 08:10 Bananas in Pyjamas 08:25 Make Way for Noddy 08:35 Milkshake! Monkey 08:40 City of Friends 08:50 Milkshake! Bop Box 08:55 Little Princess 09:10 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:20 Milkshake! Bop Box 09:25 Angelina Ballerina 09:45 Rupert Bear 10:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:15 Jelly Jamm 10:30 LazyTown 11:00 Power Rangers Super Samurai 11:35 Power Rangers Megaforce 12:10 Access 12:15 The Dog Rescuers 12:45 Secret History of UFOs 13:40 Aliens: Are We Alone?

14:45 Thunderbirds 16:25 Open Season 18:00 Mulan 19:40 5 News Weekend 19:45 Stargate 22:00 War of the Worlds

40

Monday May 5 00:10 Reggie Yates: Extreme South

00:00 QI XL

Africa

00:45 In Our Name

01:05 Weatherview

02:15 The Big White

01:10 BBC News

03:50 Countryfile

07:00 Breakfast

04:50 Holby City

10:00 Fake Britain

05:50 This Is BBC Two

10:45 Homes Under the Hammer

07:00 This Is BBC Two

11:45 Don't Get Done, Get Dom

07:20 Homes Under the Hammer

12:30 First Time on the Front Line 13:00 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:15 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:25 The Link 15:15 Escape to the Country 16:00 Spring Kitchen with Tom Kerridge

08:20 Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron 09:35 Goodbye, Mr Chips 11:25 The Importance of Being Earnest 13:00 The Pallisers 13:50 The Pallisers 14:45 Coast 15:00 Snooker: The World Championship

16:45 National Treasure

19:00 Escape to the Continent

18:45 Pointless

19:30 Great British Menu

19:30 Weather

20:00 Snooker: The World

19:30 BBC News

Championship

19:45 Weather 19:45 BBC London News 20:00 The One Show

00:00 00:14 00:15 01:15 03:45 04:35 05:20 06:05 07:00 09:30 10:25 11:30 12:30 13:00 14:00 14:10 14:10 14:15 15:00 16:00 17:00 18:00 19:00 19:15 19:30 20:00 20:30 21:00 21:30 22:00 23:00 23:10 23:15

ITV News and Weather ITV Meridian Weather Premiership Rugby Union The Store Motorsport UK The Jeremy Kyle Show USA ITV Nightscreen The Jeremy Kyle Show Good Morning Britain Lorraine The Jeremy Kyle Show Storage Hoarders The Unforgettable Dinner Date ITV News and Weather ITV Meridian Weather ITV News Meridian All Star Family Fortunes Jo Frost Family Matters Dickinson's Real Deal Ejector Seat The Paul O'Grady Show ITV News Meridian ITV News and Weather You've Been Framed!

Emmerdale Coronation Street Gino's Italian Escape Coronation Street Prey ITV News at Ten and Weather ITV Meridian Weather Benidorm

00:45 Babel 03:15 Southland 04:05 The Hotel 05:00 SuperScrimpers 05:55 Kirstie's Handmade Treasures 06:15 Deal or No Deal 07:10 Countdown 07:55 Firehouse Dog 10:00 Frasier 11:00 Undercover Boss USA 12:00 Come Dine with Me 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Come Dine with Me 14:40 A Place in the Sun: Summer Sun 15:40 Countdown 16:30 Deal or No Deal 17:30 Draw It! 18:00 Four in a Bed 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:30 Shop Secrets: Tricks of the Trade 21:00 Britain's Most Extreme Weather 22:00 The Island with Bear Grylls 23:00 Love for Sale with Rupert Everett

THE ISLAND WITH BEAR GRYLLS

20:30 Bang Goes the Theory 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 Miranda 22:00 When Corden Met Barlow 23:00 BBC News 23:15 BBC Regional News and Weather

Reality show in which 13 British men are left on a remote, uninhabited Pacific island for a month.

Adventurer Bear Grylls finds out whether the volun­ teers ­ filming themselves and stripped of all the luxuries of 21st­century living ­ can use teamwork to survive tough conditions with only some basic tools and the clothes they're wearing.

23:20 Match of the Day 2

00:10 Dodgeball: a True Underdog Story 02:00 SuperCasino 04:10 Soho Blues 05:00 Wildlife SOS 05:25 Make It Big 05:50 The Funky Valley Show 06:00 Angels of Jarm 06:05 Roary the Racing Car 06:20 Angels of Jarm 06:25 The Funky Valley Show 06:40 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Family!

08:00 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 09:55 Milkshake! Monkey 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:40 Police Interceptors 13:40 Criminals: Caught on Camera 14:15 5 News Lunchtime 14:20 Neighbours 14:50 NCIS 15:50 White Fang 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory 21:00 The Woman with 40 Cats ­ and Other Pet Hoarders 22:00 Britain's Favourite Stand­Up Comedian

Tuesday May 6 00:25 Late Kick Off 00:55 The Graham Norton Show 01:40 Weatherview 01:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Fake Britain 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Don't Get Done, Get Dom 12:30 First Time on the Front Line 13:00 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 The Link 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 Spring Kitchen with Tom Kerridge 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 19:30 BBC London News 19:55 Party Election Broadcast for the European Parliament 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 Holby City 22:00 Happy Valley 23:00 BBC News 23:25 BBC Regional News and Weather 23:35 National Lottery Update 23:35 Party Election Broadcast for the European Parliament 23:40 Miller's Mountain

00:00 Business Boomers 01:00 Digby Jones: The New Troubleshooter 02:00 Louis Theroux's LA Stories 03:00 This Is BBC Two

05:00 Schools: 3, 2, 1 Go! ­ Key Stage 3 07:00 This Is BBC Two 07:05 Homes Under the Hammer 08:05 First Time on the Front Line 08:35 Animal Park 09:20 Countryside 999 10:05 Collectaholics 11:05 Mystery of the Moor 11:35 HARDtalk 12:00 BBC News 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 The Super League Show 14:45 One Man and His Campervan 15:15 The Pallisers 16:05 Coast 16:30 Planet Earth 17:30 The Hairy Bikers' Food Tour of Britain 18:15 Antiques Roadshow 18:55 Party Election Broadcast for the European Parliament 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Escape to the Continent 20:30 Great British Menu 21:00 The Big Allotment Challenge 22:00 Watermen: A Dirty Business 23:00 Later Live ­ with Jools Holland 23:30 Weather

00:15 Joanna Lumley's Greek Odyssey 01:10 Jackpot247 04:00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 04:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 05:10 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV Meridian Weather 15:00 Jo Frost Family Matters 16:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Ejector Seat 18:00 The Paul O'Grady Show 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:25 Party Election Broadcast for the European Parliament 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire 23:20 ITV News and Weather 23:50 ITV Meridian Weather 23:55 The Cube

HARRY POTTER AND THE GOBLET OF FIRE The fourth instalment of J K Rowling's fantasy adventure franchise starring Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson and Ralph Fiennes.

It's schoolboy wizard Harry Potter's fourth year at Hogwarts and difficult times lie ahead. He's forced to risk his life after being mysteriously entered into the Triwizard Tournament in which represen­ tatives of three top schools compete in a series of dangerous tasks.

00:00 Gogglebox 01:00 Random Acts 01:05 Fargo 02:00 Scandal 02:45 Southcliffe 03:40 Mesh 03:45 Mr Drew's School for Boys 04:40 Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners 05:35 SuperScrimpers 06:00 Kirstie's Handmade Treasures 06:05 Deal or No Deal 07:00 Countdown 07:45 Will & Grace 08:10 According to Jim 08:35 The King of Queens 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 11:00 Undercover Boss USA 12:00 Come Dine with Me 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Come Dine with Me 14:40 A Place in the Sun: Summer Sun 15:40 Countdown 16:30 Deal or No Deal 17:30 Draw It! 18:00 Four in a Bed 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 Embarrassing Bodies: Live from the Clinic 22:00 Mr Drew's School for Boys 23:00 16 Kids and Counting

00:50 You Don't Mess with the Zohan 02:50 SuperCasino 04:05 GPs: Behind Closed Doors 05:00 HouseBusters 05:45 Great Artists 06:10 Wildlife SOS 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Family!

08:00 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:10 Milkshake! Bop Box 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:20 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:55 Milkshake! Monkey 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:40 Police Interceptors 13:40 Cowboy Builders 14:40 5 News Lunchtime 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 Montana Sky 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Freaky Eaters USA 19:30 5 News Tonight 19:55 Party Election Broadcast for the European Parliament 20:00 Gibraltar: Britain in the Sun 21:00 The Nightmare Neighbour Next Door 22:00 GPs: Behind Closed Doors 23:00 The Mentalist

41

Wednesday May 7 00:10 The Guess List 00:50 Son of Rambow 02:20 Weatherview 02:25 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Fake Britain 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Don't Get Done, Get Dom 12:30 First Time on the Front Line 13:00 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 The Link 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 Spring Kitchen with Tom Kerridge 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 19:30 BBC London News 19:55 Party Election Broadcast for the European Parliament 20:00 The One Show 21:00 MasterChef 22:00 Vertigo Road Trip 23:00 BBC News 23:25 BBC Regional News and Weather 23:35 National Lottery Update 23:35 Party Election Broadcast for the European Parliament 23:40 Match of the Day

00:20 Party Election Broadcast for the European Parliament 00:25 Vets in the Disaster Zone 01:25 Monkey Planet 02:25 This Is BBC Two

05:00 Schools ­ Make a Musical 06:00 Schools ­ Same but Different 07:00 Homes Under the Hammer 08:00 First Time on the Front Line 08:30 Animal Park 09:15 Countryside 999 10:00 Antiques Roadshow 11:00 Bang Goes the Theory 11:30 See Hear 12:00 BBC News 12:30 Daily Politics 14:00 Instant Restaurant 14:45 One Man and His Campervan 15:15 The Pallisers 16:05 Coast 16:30 Life in Cold Blood 17:30 The Hairy Bikers' Food Tour of Britain 18:15 Antiques Roadshow 18:55 Party Election Broadcast for the European Parliament 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Escape to the Continent 20:30 Great British Menu 21:00 Under Offer: Estate Agents on the Job 22:00 The Birth of Empire: The East India Company 23:00 QI 23:30 Newsnight

00:55 Wild Britain with Ray Mears 01:20 Jackpot247 04:00 Loose Women 04:45 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV Meridian Weather 15:00 Jo Frost Family Matters 16:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Ejector Seat 18:00 The Paul O'Grady Show 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:25 Party Election Broadcast for the European Parliament 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Big Star's Little Star 22:00 Billy Connolly's Big Send Off 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:25 ITV News Meridian 23:30 Party Election Broadcast for the European Parliament 23:35 The Boat That Rocked

00:00 Coppers 00:55 Random Acts 01:00 Poker 01:55 KOTV Boxing Weekly 02:20 Trans World Sport 03:20 FIM Superbike World Championship 03:45 British GT Championship 04:15 Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners 05:10 SuperScrimpers 06:05 Deal or No Deal 07:00 Countdown 07:45 Will & Grace 08:10 According to Jim 08:35 The King of Queens 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 11:00 Undercover Boss USA 11:55 Come Dine with Me 12:55 Channel 4 News Summary 13:00 Come Dine with Me 14:30 Channel 4 Racing 16:30 Deal or No Deal 17:30 Draw It! 18:00 Four in a Bed 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 The Supervet 22:00 24 Hours in A&E 23:00 Derek 23:30 Cardinal Burns

MINUTE BY MINUTE Documentary series telling the stories behind some of the most notorious events in modern British history using eyewitness testimonies, archive footage and dramatic reconstructions to chart how the disasters unfolded.

00:00 Law & Order: Special Victims Unit 00:55 Body of Proof 01:50 True Crimes: The First 72 Hours 02:15 SuperCasino 04:05 Killing Spree 05:00 House Doctor 05:45 Great Artists 06:10 Michaela's Wild Challenge 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Family!

08:00 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:10 Milkshake! Bop Box 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 09:55 Milkshake! Monkey 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:40 Police Interceptors 13:40 Gibraltar: Britain in the Sun 14:40 5 News Lunchtime 14:45 Neighbours 15:20 NCIS 16:20 Backyard Wedding 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Freaky Eaters USA 19:30 5 News Tonight 19:55 Party Election Broadcast for the European Parliament 20:00 Benidorm ER 21:00 Minute by Minute 22:00 NCIS 23:00 Castle 23:55 Castle

Thursday May 8 00:40 Room 101 ­ Extra Storage 01:20 Weatherview 01:25 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Fake Britain 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Don't Get Done, Get Dom 12:30 First Time on the Front Line 13:00 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 The Link 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 Spring Kitchen with Tom Kerridge 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 19:30 BBC London News 19:55 Party Election Broadcast for the European Parliament 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 MasterChef 22:00 Parking Mad 23:00 BBC News 23:25 BBC Regional News and Weather 23:35 Question Time

00:20 Party Election Broadcast for the European Parliament 00:25 Watermen: A Dirty Business 01:25 See Hear 01:55 Kim Philby ­ His Most Intimate Betrayal 02:55 This Is BBC Two 05:00 Schools ­ Deadly Dilemmas: Mission Madagascar 05:30 Schools ­ Pompeii: The

Mystery of the People Frozen in Time 06:00 Schools ­ Vikings 06:35 Schools ­ Seeking Refuge 07:00 This Is BBC Two 07:05 Homes Under the Hammer 08:05 First Time on the Front Line 08:35 Animal Park 09:20 Countryside 999 10:05 Mind the Gap: London vs the Rest 11:05 Gardeners' World 11:35 HARDtalk 12:00 BBC News 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Instant Restaurant 14:45 One Man and His Campervan 15:15 The Pallisers 16:05 Coast 16:30 Life in Cold Blood 17:30 The Hairy Bikers' Food Tour of Britain 18:15 Antiques Roadshow 18:55 Party Election Broadcast for the European Parliament 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Great British Menu 20:00 Women's World Cup Football 22:30 Blurred Lines: The New Battle of the Sexes

02:00 Jackpot247 04:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 04:45 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV Meridian Weather 14:55 ITV News Meridian 15:00 Jo Frost Family Matters 16:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Ejector Seat 18:00 The Paul O'Grady Show 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:25 Party Election Broadcast for the European Parliament 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Tonight 21:00 Emmerdale 21:30 Paul O'Grady: For the Love of Dogs 22:00 Wanted: A Family of My Own 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:25 ITV Meridian Weather 23:30 Party Election Broadcast for the European Parliament 23:35 Billy Connolly's Big Send Off

THE OAP KILLER: FIRST KILL, LAST KILL Between April and July of 1986, elderly residents of south London were targeted by Kenneth Erskine, who embarked on a spree of sexual assault and murder that shocked Britain.

00:00 Alan Carr: Chatty Man 01:00 Random Acts 01:05 With You, Without You 02:45 DOA 04:10 Destination Moon 05:50 SuperScrimpers 06:45 Kirstie's Handmade Treasures 06:50 Deal or No Deal 07:45 Will & Grace 08:10 According to Jim 08:35 The King of Queens 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 11:00 Undercover Boss USA 11:55 Come Dine with Me 12:55 Channel 4 News Summary 13:00 Come Dine with Me 14:30 Channel 4 Racing 16:30 Deal or No Deal 17:30 Draw It! 18:00 Four in a Bed 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 Posh Pawn 22:00 Heston's Great British Food 23:00 Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares USA 23:55 The Island with Bear Grylls

00:55 Law & Order: Special Victims Unit 01:50 True Crimes: The First 72 Hours 02:15 SuperCasino 04:05 Family Massacre: The Jersey Slayer 05:00 House Doctor 05:45 Great Artists 06:10 Michaela's Wild Challenge 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Family!

08:00 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:40 Police Interceptors 13:40 The Nightmare Neighbour Next Door 14:40 5 News Lunchtime 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 Her Husband's Betrayal 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Freaky Eaters USA 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 Police Interceptors 21:00 Cowboy Builders 22:00 The OAP Killer: First Kill, Last Kill 23:00 Person of Interest 23:55 Person of Interest

42

Friday, May 2, 2014

AUCTIONS

BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY

Pro Business Support – for all your accountancy needs in English; bookkeeping, taxes, wage slips and more.

We cater for companies and self­employed people; we can deal with everything for you. Call us on 966 923 963 for first consultation free of charge.

For more information con­ tact 637 362 863 (157) BUSINESS OPPORTUNI­ TY, two clothing shops for sale either as a pair or sep­ arate, both trading, sold fully equipped and stocked, a great opportunity for some­ one wanting their own busi­ ness, for more comprehen­ sive information contact Glen on 606926437 (164)

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS

CHURCH SERVICES

ACCOUNTANTS

International Christian Assembly, Calle Pilar de Horadada 5, Torrevieja.

Evangelical non­denomina­ tional church. Sunday serv­ ices 11am.

Children's church 11am. House groups in Torrevieja, Los Balcones,

BLINDS BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES Bar for traspaso Well established, 9 year old, beach front terrace on the Mar Menor, with a good mix of both British and Spanish clientele. Hard working bar.

CATERING

San Javier. Ladies meeting Thursdays 11am. Craft club, Tuesdays, 2pm.

Pastor, Rafael Restrepo. All nation­ alities welcome. Call 966 799 273 or 660 127 276.

Pilar Christian Community Church Calle Canalejas 3.

Pilar de la Horadada.

Sunday Service at 11am, and Thursday at 5pm for Prayer and Praise and Worship. Home groups meet during the week. All welcome from any Church background or none. For further information contact PilarChristian.CommunityC hurch@gmail.com 968575417 or 966848806.

Easter Services, Good Friday at 11 am with Holy Communion, and Easter Sunday at 11 am.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (Mormons) meet at 10.00 each Sunday at their Torrevieja meetinghouse in the Torreaguas building on the corner of Rambla Juan Mateo Garcia 104, close to the windmill in Torrevieja, 667 533 597.

The rainbow centre for spiri­ tual awareness. We meet in the function room at Sacos bar el Liminar just off the CV 905 Rojales Torrevieja road.

We have a divine service every Sunday at 11am and on Wednesdays we hold an evening of clairvoyance at 7.30 pm. Also there is an open circle held every wed evening at 5.30 pm for any­

INSURANCE one interested in clairvoy­ ance. Healing is available by trained and certified healers after each meeting a warm welcome to friends old and new. The mediums for May 2014 are Sunday 4th Jacqueline Holland hunt.

Wed 7th David Darnbourgh.

Sunday 11th Ray Bailey Wed 14th Debie Blevins.

Sunday 18th Morag Bullock Wed 21st Morag Bullock.

Sunday 25th Anna Marie Wed 28th Jimmy McArthur

CARS FOR SALE Car insurance quotes – new extra discount on fully com­ prehensive policies at the price of third party!

Excellent prices for expats, all policies and call centre staff in English. We will call you back with a quote. 966 923 963 Ford Focus 1.8 TDCi Estate 2004. One owner. 80.000 Miles. Full service history.

Silver. No Damage. €5.000.

Guardamar. ITV. Suma.

Very clean with dog guard.

619 329 393 (168)

BARBER

ALARMS

CASER SEGUROS ­ for all your insurance needs, home, car, health, funeral.

Policies available in English and German.

Call Professional Business Support on 966 923 963 for a quick quote from our friendly staff.

PROPERTY FOR RENT

SALMA, 29, PASSIONATED MASSEUSSE. LOTS of FANTASIES .LA ZENIA, OPPOSITTE ZENIA BOULEVARD 15. TURQUE­ SA St Behind MERCADONA S BACK Gate.www.sensual­ spain.net 656 314 941 MATURE PASSIONATED WOMAN 40, GENEROUS and CARING BUSTY .TURQUESA St Behind MERCADONA s BACK Gate opposite NEW white houses www.sensualspain.net 656 314 941 KAREN! NEW in. LA ZENIA BEAUTIFUL BODY? Biggest breast, biggest bot­ tom NICE figure.....Close to Consum supermarket HOUSE 77 www.sensual­ spain.net 627 203 147

Viva Villa and Vacation Services, For Short or Long Term Rentals visit: www.villaandvacation.com or Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Santiago de la Ribera 2 bedroom townhouse close to beach and shops with communal pool €350 monthly short or long term lease Call 0044 7890996330 ­ 968570645 (162) Ref: 61, A lovely two bed­ roomed ground floor apart­ ment, located in the centre of the small Spanish town of Los Montesinos, With a pleasant communal swim­ ming pool adjacent & all amenities in walking dis­ tance. Long and short term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 104, 2 Bedroom apart­ ment in Torrevieja, (near gypsy lane), small balcony, near all amenities and Friday market. €350pcm Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

CARPENTER

CAR HIRE

PERSONAL

CLEANERS

43

Friday, May 2, 2014 Ref: 112, Spacious 3 bed­ room detached villa with its private pool is located on the El Raso urbanisation near Guardamar. Convenient for all amenities, shops, super­ market, restaurants and bars. Short term rental avail­ able. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 63, Two bedroom 1st floor apartment situated in Molino Blanco. The property overlooks a superb commu­ nal pool area, in within walk­ ing distance of bars, restau­ rants and shops. Short or long term rental available.

GARDENER

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

LONG TERM RENTALS WANTED! Properties, all types, in the Torrevieja area wanted for long term rentals.

Call us on 96 692 3963

PROPERTY FOR SALE Ref: KP3100, €183,000.

Three bedroom, two bath­ room detached villa, located in San Luis, on a 450sqm plot, with communal pool.

Garage to side of house.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Opportunity to purchase at the off plan price of 195.000 euros. Large 4 Bed, 3 Bath Brand new property. Secure underground parking for 2 cars and communal pool.

Situated opposite Gran Alacant and over looks pro­ jected golf course. Ref No. K52. 627 711 155

CAR BREAKERS

Rare opportunity to pur­ chase on Mediterrania III, Gran Alacant. 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, Private Parking, F/Furnished, Large communal pools & Tennis courts S/W facing, Dramatically reduced for quick sale to 126.000 euros.

Ref No. K58 Call 627 711 155 for immediate viewing Lovely Corner property in Novamar V, Gran Alacant. 2 bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms Being sold fully furnished including appliances, Has secure underground parking and faces large oasis com­ munal pool. Walking dis­ tance to beach. 139.000 Euros, Call 627 711 155 and quote Ref No. K10 Don Pueblo, Gran Alacant. 3 Bedrooms, 3 Bathrooms, Large Kitchen with Galleria, Secure underground park­ ing, Gas Central Heating, Glazed in Porch, Solarium with stunning views.

Viewings absolutely essen­ tial. Very large property at reduced price of 190.000

euros. Ref No. K38 Call 627 711 155 Immaculate ground floor Duplex, 2 beds, 2 bath, Private Parking, Situated in Novamar, Gran Alacant.

Price includes very tasteful furniture and white goods.

Walking distance to all local amenities and beach. Now only 129,750 euros. Ref No K24. 627 711 155 Ref: 78, €110,000. Three bedroom Quad in Jardin Del Mar VII. There is off­road parking and small storage shed in the enclosed garden area, communal pool near­ by. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 2 Bed, 1 Bath Ground floor duplex. Central heating, Grills, Fully furnished, Glazed in Galleria, 2 com­ munal pools, private parking and walking distance to the Gran Alacant commercial centre. Situated in the popu­ lar urbanisation of Puerto Marino. Now only 96,500 euros for quick sale Ref No. K46. 627 711 155

DRAINAGE

Recently reduced 4 Bed, 3 Bath Villa, in Gran Alacant.

Quiet Location, Exceptional Views. Converted Under build, 2 Lounges, 2 Kitchens, Private Garage and being sold Fully Furnished, now only 239.950 Ref: L81 Tel. 680333242 Gran Alacant Detached villa, located in a very sought after location.Situated on a 560m2 S/W facing plot and constructed in 2005.

Comprising of 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms (2 full baths), Lounge­Diner, fully equipped Kitchen, Porch and Solarium with Alicante & Sea Views. ref.L81. €258,000 neg.

Tel. 680333242 Gran Alacant Town House with a difference.

2 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, Glazed in Porch, Quiet Location, Extra storage areas, and South Facing Private Pool as well as 2 communal pools. Fully Furnished, All mod cons.

Greenland Views and all

local amenities close by.

Ref. No L79. 179.000 euros 680 333 242 Gran Alacant immaculate villa, 3 bedroomed, 3 bath­ roomed property maintained to a very high standard inside and out and the interi­ or furnishings are top quali­ ty, offering a feeling of luxury and good taste. The plot size is 400m2 and has been beautifully tiles, and grav­ eled and has established palms and plants. Oil fired central heating throughout, log effect fire place, ceiling fans in all rooms, towel heater rails, glazed in show­ er units, instant hot water, water purifier, free English TV, phone & internet lines, fitted double hanging wardrobes, safe, glazed in front porch, vanity units and much more. The pool is an 8 X 4 m2 salt water pool, meaning maintenance is much easier plus outside toilet and shower. Sea views to front with Greenland views to the rear. ref K51. €245,000 Tel 680333242

PETS

44

Friday, May 2, 2014

Ref: 520, €72,000. Two bed­ room apartment in Dream Hills, with a fully equipped kitchen, large lounge, glazed­in terrace and a large solarium. This property comes with a large commu­ nal swimming pool. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Limited Edition Fortaleze in Gran Alacant Exceptionally Large Plot. 4 Bedrooms, 3 Bathrooms, Large Private Pool with Decorative Garden, Private Parking, Electric Gates, Glazed in Porch, Solarium, Under build. Quiet sought after area. Very tastefully fur­ nished and all included 370.000e Ref. K52 Tel. 627711155 Ref: 104 Lovely 2 Bedroom Apartment, close to Shops, walking distance to Friday Market and Town Centre and the beach. The property is close to the Habaneres Shopping Centre and Aquapark. Recently refur­ bished apartment in a good central location.

Conveniently situated for all the facilities of this modern vibrant town, and only a few blocks away from Torreviejas excellent sea front with its abundant cafes, restaurants and shops. Price €43950 Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Gran Alacant, Situated in the "Alto" part of Gran Alacant, this 3 bedroomed, 4th floor apartment, offers luxury accommodation, with absolutely stunning sea views, as well as views of Alicante bay and the famous Santa Barbara Castle.The apartment is 89 square meters with open plan kitchen / living room and includes all electrical appli­ ances & furniture also there is a utility room, open ter­ race, and private parking.

The urbanisation also offers many communal pools, ten­ nis courts, restaurants and bars. Ref. K20 €109,000 Tel 680333242

Viva Villa and Vacation Services are pleased to offer property sales for the Torrevieja and Oriheula areas of the Costa Blanca, Spain. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 or Visit : www.villaandvacation.com Gran Alacant villa located in a very quiet area , situated at the end of a cul­de­sac means there is no through traffic.3 bed, 3 bath, 330m2 plot, established large gar­ dens, working fireplace, solar panel for hot water,pri­ vate parking, south facing great views, fully furnished, fantastic opportunity. ref.

L85. €215,000 Tel 680333242 Beach front Line property, over looks Carabassi Beach, Gran Alacant. 2 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, Secure Underground Parking, Fully furnished, Roof Top Solarium. 3 Large Communal Pools, Fantastic communal Gardens, Tennis Courts and much more.

125.000 Euros Ref No. K23.

Tel. 627 711 155 Ref: 709, €60,000 A lovely 1 bedroom apartment in Aguas Nuevas, within a 5 minute walk of the beach.

There is a terrace outside with views to the sea. Short or long term rental available.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Gran Alacant, Situated front line to the famous blue flag beaches of Carabassi, the real beauty of this property is its proximity to the beach, but also on offer is a fantas­ tic communal pool situated in beautifully kept gardens with little Spanish walk ways.Comprising of 2 bed­ rooms, 2 bathrooms, lounge diner, American style kitchen including all appliances, roof top solarium with stunning views, front porch area with front garden and a secure underground garage. fully furnished Ref. K23 €125,000 rare opportunity Tel 680333242

PLUMBERS

POOL TABLES

Corner Plot Property in the lower end of Gran Alacant. 3 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, Under build, Roof top Solarium Being sold Fully Furnished including White goods. Walking distance to all local amenities. 139.950e Ref. GA0087 Tel. 680333242 Gran Alacant limited edition villa, not very often available on the market. Only a few of this type were ever con­ structed­ Very large 5 bed­ rooms, 4 bathroom(2 en­ suit) property, situated on a large corner plot with a 10 x 5 private pool and private parking. Lounge­diner with working fireplace, fully equipped kitchen with utility room. Large landing area, leading onto solarium, with extra storage external room.

Front porch area leading into large well established gardens with irrigation sys­ tem and fruit trees. Being sold fully furnished. Within walking distance to Gran Alacant commercial centre and 5 minute drive to Carabassi beaches. ref.

K11. €270,000 Tel 680333242 Ref: 516, €23,950. Studio apartment in San Luis, close to amenities. Open plan fully equipped kitchen. Good sized lounge, bedroom and out onto balcony which has been glazed to create another room. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Lovely clean detached Villa just as you enter Gran Alacant. Very central loca­ tion, 3 Bedrooms, 3 Bathrooms, Glazed in Porch, Garden Shed,

Private Parking, Attractive Gardens, Private pool Ref: K59 240.000e Tel. 627711155 Offers Invited on a mid Terraced Town house in Gran Alacant. Comprising of 3 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, Lounge Diner, Galleria, Solarium, Under build.

Communal Pool and Gardens, and with Exceptional Views of Alicante. Being Sold Fully Furnished including White Goods. Ref. K42 Tel. 627711155 (reasonable offers only) 2 Bedroom, 2 Bathroom, Unfurnished Mid Terraced Townhouse in GA. Recently decorated throughout means this property is a very clean black canvass.

Has Air­Con & Security Grills and the use of a Communal Pool. Price recently reduced to 110.000e Ref.K12 Tel. 627711155 Reduced for a quick sale to 95.000 e 2 Bedroom, 1 bath­ room, Top Floor Duplex in Gran Alacant. Very Modern Property with Many extras.

Glazed in Porch, Roof Top Solarium, Wooden Flooring.

Immaculate condition and ready to move in. Ref. K15 Tel. 627711155.

Gran Alacant, Situated on the very first urbanisation as you enter Gran Alacant, this 2nd floor duplex offers taste and quality. Comprising of 2 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, lounge­diner, independent kitchen, full roof­top solari­ um with superb views and recently glazed in porch offering extra living area as

REMOVALS

well as extra privacy as the glass is mirrored. Ref.K44 €108,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant south­facing, very private villa, with wood­ land and Alicante views.

Situated at the end of a small cul­de­sac which means this villa enjoys a very peaceful location.3 Bedrooms with fitted wardrobes, 3 Bathrooms, lounge­diner with working fireplace, fully fitted kitchen with including white goods, large front porch, solarium,workshop and stor­ age in under build, central heating, air con H/C, ceiling fans, grills, UK T.V, off road parking and plenty of out­ side parking also. Due to its orientation of this property enjoys full sun, all day, something very important in the winter months. Ref.K24. €237,000 Tel 680333242

QUIZZES

certificate. Bar staff required must have experience. Part time hours. Bar situated in El Raso near Guardamar.

Contact 672 929 585 (168) English / Russian translator required by book publisher.

Call 618 715 998 for more info.

SITUATIONS WANTED Gardening, property mainte­ nance, translations, cheap rates call David 722521654.

SOLICITORS Need English speaking solicitors in Torrevieja? Let us help to solve your prob­ lems with debt recovery, divorce, property, fraud, criminal defence. Call us on 966 923 963, give us brief details and get in touch with your specialist solicitor today

WIG SPECIALIST

Experienced quiz­ master/question setter with personality available to host quiz nights in local bars.

Tel:­ 664 838 581

SITUATIONS VACANT RADIO COSTA INTERNA­ TIONAL needs motivated sellers. Spanish, English and German language is a bonus but not essential.

Training and good earnings guaranteed. For more info call 644 126 600 or email info@radicocostainterna­ tional.com OP Group Spain are seek­ ing 2 enthusiastic people to join their expanding team.

Position 1 is for an experi­ enced office administrator at their La Finca Golf office.

Position 2 is for an experi­ enced sales negotiator for their La Marina office. The ideal candidates will speak English and at least one other language and will have good knowledge of the local real estate market.

Both positions are full time with contracts and competi­ tive rates of pay. Please send your CV’s into Stuart on stuart.markham @opgroupspain.com or call 966729653 Chef required full time must have at least 5 years experi­ ence and Spanish hygiene

SALON MARGARETHAS, 23 years in Torrevieja Hair/Wig specialist for Medical illness and Hair Loss problems. We offer dif­ ferent Hair Replacements, top fillers, Hair prostheses, Toupees and Wigs, Natural and Artificial hair and much more. Also fashion/festival accessories TV/TS are wel­ come to our service. Please call our salon reception for an appointment with Margaretha on Tel no 966 921 846 Torrevieja (90)

WINDOW CLEANER

POOLS

SURVEYOR

VAN HIRE

WANTED

Friday, May 2, 2014

Greenside Gossip

45

IVIE DAVIES takes a weekly look at the golf scene - golfdavies@gmail.com

GIZMOS GET GREEN LIGHT Golf’s bosses have said that it’s fine to use the new hi­tech mobile smart­ phones on courses, but only to meas­ ure distances in competitions. In the run up to 2014, the RFEG entered into a major golf rules change: which is the authorisation of iPhone and other smartphones as distance measuring devices (DMD) in tournaments.

This change addresses an issue that was causing much confusion and controversy since golf clubs allowed the use of DMD in their local rules. Most of them, in addi­ tion to the GPS and laser rangefinders , also authorised applications to iPhone with GPS . However, in 2012 the R&A clarified that it is not allowed to use the Smartphone as a distance measuring device to be embedded with a compass and weather. But now there have been two decisions (14­3/4 and 14­3/18) that for the first time allow these two functions and make legal the use of Smartphone for measuring distances. This authorization is subject to condition that the club allows the use of distance measuring devices in the local rules.

But take stock of this:­ the Smartphone should not carry any other application that offers assistance like a wind speed indicator and many golf GPS APPS offer advice on the choice of club and therefore, remain prohibited This amend­ ment to the rules shows that the R&A and USGA now evolve with the times and take into consideration the new require­ ments and new technologies in their decisions. Therefore the smartphones, can be used in full competition. One thing to remember is to mute the ringtone in case a call comes in and avoid disturbing other players.

YOUR DMD QUESTIONS ANSWERED

From the days when selecting a club was done by “eye”, we have progressed through yardage books, a development often attributed to Jack Nicklaus, distance markers at the sides of fairways and distances on sprinkler heads, to a point where electronic distance­measuring devices, have become quite common in certain areas of the world. Most of the questions that the R&A receives in connection with dis­ tance­measuring devices along with the answers are provid­ ed below.

Q. Can I use a distance­measuring device in a competi­ tion?

A. The use of a distance­measuring device during a stipulat­ ed round remains contrary to the Rules of Golf – the penalty being disqualification under Rule 14­3 (Artificial Devices, Unusual Equipment and Unusual Use of Equipment).

However, since January 2006, a Committee can permit the use of some such devices via a Local Rule.

Q. What kind of distance­measuring devices are allowed

by Local Rule?

A. A GPS, laser, smart phone, any really; however, it is important that the device only measures distance. The use of a distance­measuring device that is designed to gauge or measure other conditions that might affect a player’s play, such as gradient or wind speed, is not permitted, regardless of whether such an additional function is used or not, and even if that function is disabled.

To help golfers and/or referees to determine the status of a particular device, The R&A has produced a flowchart explaining what is allowed when the Local Rule is in place.

Q. What about multi­functional devices, such as a mobile phone, with a distance­measuring application?

A. On the course, subject to any club or course regulations, a multi­functional device may be used to phone, text, email or to look up general information, provided the purpose is not a breach of the Rules, e.g. you cannot make a phone call to ask for advice.

When an application that measures distance has been downloaded to the device, the application must be restricted to providing only distance information in order to conform to the Local Rule. If there are other features or applications on the phone that can specifically gauge or measure conditions that might affect the player’s play, such as an anemometer or thermometer, this would render the device non­conform­ ing for use as a distance­measuring device, regardless of the fact that these other features or applications are used or not.

Q. If a player uses his smartphone to look up a weather forecast, is the player gauging the conditions?

No. Accessing weather reports provided by a weather sta­ tion through an app or internet browser, is not considered to be actively measuring or gauging the conditions and is per­ missible.

Q. My smartphone has an inbuilt spirit level as part of the functionality of the phone but it is not part of the dis­ tance­measuring app. Can I use the phone as a dis­

tance­measuring device?

Yes, provided that you do not use the level in a manner that might assist you in your play.

Q. My smartphone has a compass fea­ ture. Can I use the phone as a distance­ measuring device?

Yes. A compass only provided directional information and does not gauge or measure variable conditions or assist the player in his play.

Q. What should the Local Rule permitting distance­measuring devices say?

A. The wording of the recommended Local Rule (Appendix 1, Part B, 9) reads as fol­ lows: “Distance­Measuring Devices (Specify as appropriate, e.g. In this competi­ tion, or For all play at this course, etc.), a player may obtain distance information by using a device that measures distance only.

If, during a stipulated round, a player uses a distance­measuring device that is designed to gauge or measure other conditions that might affect his play (e.g. gra­ dient, wind speed, temperature, etc), the player is in breach of Rule 14­3, for which the penalty is disqualification, regard­ less of whether any such additional function is actually used.”

Q. Why not simply allow distance­measuring devices without the need for a Local Rule?

A. The advent of distance­measuring devices and their use in the game divides opinion at many levels. Many golfers are fans of these devices as they feel it puts them on a level footing with tournament professionals who have caddies providing precise distance information, whilst others will argue that there is no place for such technology in the game.

As such, it was, and remains, appropriate to allow individual clubs and Committees to decide what is right for them, their competitions and their players.

Q. If a Club has in place the Local Rule permitting dis­ tance­measuring devices and an external body, the national golf association, for example, is running an event there, does that mean that distance­measuring devices are automatically allowed in the national event?

A. No. It is the responsibility of the national golf association to establish its own Local Rules for the event. The Local Rules written by the Committee in charge of the competition supersede what the Club has in place on a day­to­day basis.

Q. If the Local Rules for distance­measuring devices is in place, may players share a distance­measuring device?

A. Yes, but it is important that players sharing devices do not unduly delay play. In addition, information on distance obtained from a distance­measuring device can be shared between the player, partner, fellow­competitor or opponent if so wished

TITTER ON THE TEE I was reading an article the other night about fathers and sons and memories came flooding back of the time I took my son out for his first pint.

So off we went to our local which is only two blocks from the house.

I got him a Double Diamond ..... he didn't like it – so I had it.

Then I got him a Carling Black Label, he didn't like it, so I had it.

It was the same with the Windhoek Lager and Premium Dry Cider.

By the time we got down to the whisky, I could hardly push the bloomin’ pram back home.

KNOW YOUR RULES QUESTION Under Rule 20­3 – Placing and Replacing. Is the person who lifted a ball the only person that can replace it?

ANSWER No. Up to a maximum of three people can replace the ball, depending on the circumstances. The player, his/her partner, or the person who lifted it. If the player lifted it himself, only the player or his partner may replace it (Rule 2—3a)

46

Friday, May 2, 2014

THE GREAT ESCAPE THE REAL DEAL VILLARREAL 2 BARCELONA 3

Barcelona came from two goals down to stay in the title race on an emotional night for the club. Playing their first game since the death of former coach Tito Vilanova, who succumbed to throat cancer aged 45 last week, Barca were subdued for much of the first half and trailed to a Ruben Cani goal scored on the stroke of half­time. Manuel

Trigueros then doubled the lead 10 minutes into the second half, but two Villarreal own goals sparked a comeback as Gabriel Paulista and Mateo Musacchio inadvertently brought things level before Lionel Messi struck the winner seven minutes from time.

Barcelona are at home to relegation­threat­ ened Getafe this Saturday afternoon.

BAYERN MUNICH 0 REAL MADRID 4 (agg 0-5)

Real Madrid sailed into their first Champions League final since 2002 with an astonishingly one­sided away victory over holders Bayern Munich on Tuesday. Sergio Ramos scored two headers from set­pieces before Cristiano Ronaldo rounded off a counter­attack to all but end the game as a

contest. Ronaldo added a late free­kick for his record 16th goal of the European cam­ paign (beating Lionel Messi’s record), to seal the win, and to book a place in the final in Lisbon this month, where they will play their city rivals Atletico in an all­Spanish show­ down.

REAL IN FORM Wasteful Ilicitanos REAL MADRID 4 OSASUNA 0

Two goals from Cristiano Ronaldo set Real Madrid on their way to a victory over Osasuna last Saturday which still gives them a shout of winning La Liga if their neighbours Atletico slip up. The Portugal international struck after six minutes and

added another early in the second half, with further goals from Sergio Ramos and Daniel Carvajal securing Real's fourth win in a row. Their next league match sees them entertain Valencia this Sunday evening.

GOALESS TRIP SAGUNTINO 0 FC TORREVIEJA 0

Torrevieja saw their mathe­ matical chances of getting into the play­offs end with a point at the North Valencian side last weekend. The first half was a struggle for the Salineros who battled against a strong wind as well as a determined home side.

Torry played better in the second half, but the final telling piece of penetration was missing. They travel away to second­placed Alzira this Sunday evening.

ELCHE 1 LEVANTE 1

It was a classic case of 2 points dropped rather than 1 pocketed for Elche last Friday night in their battle against relega­ tion, with the safety gap narrowed to just 3 points after other results went against the Ilicitanos. Richmond Boakye's strike just after the hour mark put Elche on course for a deserved win, but Levante responded

well to going a goal down, with Rodriguez's 74th minute equaliser ensur­ ing a 1­1 draw. Elche’s poor finishing cost them dearly as they squandered a number of good chances, and their run­in is a tough one taking in Malaga(away this Saturday evening) , Barcelona, and Sevilla.

New mandate for Boix

Vicente Boix has been elected as FC Torrevieja President for a four year term at an EGM of the club last Monday night. A packed meeting of socios voted him in on a perma­ nent basis after accepting the resignation of the “temporary” Junta Gestora which had run the club. Boix had been President under the previous arrangement and said he was delighted to take up the reins on a long­term basis and thanked the fans for their support.

Boix introduced his new board of directors with Jefferson Scott being made vice presi­ dent, with his wife, Di Scott appointed as sec­ retary. Matilde Serapio, Graham Knight and Jose Alvarez were also all elected to the board. Boix says he plans to boost the income of the club through greater support of local businesses in order improve the quality of the team.

47

Friday, May 2, 2014

HOW DOES HE DO THAT?

HIS business card should read ‘Jose Mourinho, Football Manager.

Specialities: odds upset; parties pooped; snooks cocked; League titles, Cups domestic and European (sometimes)’.

Typically avoiding the smart advice to never go back, this season the controversial Portuguese has returned to his beloved Chelsea, and has had a very good try at re­taking the Premier League title and winning the Champions League in his first year back. This prodigal return to Stamford Bridge comes hard on the heels of mainly suc­ cessful, but stormy continental forays managing two more of

Europe’s super clubs, Inter Milan and Real Madrid in the white heat of football­mad countries Italy and Spain. Jose Mourinho always operates in the full glare of publicity, taking on all comers.

That ‘Mou’ is a superb man­manager and motivator is beyond doubt. One of his first moves this sensational season was to restore the ageing ‘Dad’s Army’ to his first choice team: the likes of John Terry, Frank Lampard and Petr Cech were re­com­ bined successfully with the new youth blend he inherited, gems like Eden Hazard and Oscar, and Mou soon put his unique stamp on the side with his own purchases of Andre Shurrle, Nemanja Matic and for me the find of the season, the brilliant little Brazilian Willian.

Mourinho can be rude, arro­ gant, and scathing about his opponents, which either comes naturally or is deliberately designed to wind them up, almost

FIVE STAR MONTE FORMENTERA 1 CD MONTESINOS 5

always succeeding. Here the Portuguese displays a lack of respect for his fellow man, his preferred target usually other managers.

Traditionally in football there has always been a grudging respect for ones equals, given the enormity of the size and necessary commitment to the hazardous occupation and the stacked odds against success. This year’s Mourinho’s personal targets have been the direct opposition like Manuel Pellegrini and Arsene Wenger ­ significantly in the past he never took on Alex Ferguson.

‘Firing from the lip’ is one of Mourinho’s big weaknesses, fuelled of course by eager sports reporters for whom Jose is always hot news: but the man’s outbursts are often self­ contradictory and hard to fathom.

Officialdom also holds no fears: as the old cliché in football, as well as life goes, ‘You can’t win ‘em all’ ­ and neither can Mourinho.

When unexpected defeat does occur, as against West Ham, Aston Villa and recently Sunderland, when Chelsea were expected to win, Jose turns nasty and unpredictable and specialises with some ultra­peculiar quotes. The man does seem to act as though he is above the law, but the FA pow­ ers that be will have none of it – and rightly so. Jose knows he cannot win this aspect of the game and instead post­Sunderland appeared to border on heavy sarcasm, describing the referee Mike Dean’s contro­ versial performance as unbelievable – clas­ sic double­speak as Chelsea lost a key game they should have won, due to a heav­ ily­contested penalty. It happens, Jose.

After years in the wilderness for Chelsea supporters, Mourinho has almost always delivered, although strangely as these things happen the Blues have only won his cherished goal, the Champions League once under the luckless Roberto Matteo (whatever happened to him, rumour has it he is still being secretly being paid by Roman’s rou­ bles… like certain other ex­coaching staff). During the last few weeks, those same supporters have experienced more amazing highs – and lows. Though Mou continually played down their chances of winning it, Chelsea were leading the league, but the unbelievable home defeat by

Sunderland changed all that, with the maes­ tro maintaining he wanted the Champions League title more. So in typically unfath­ omable fashion Mou took his reserves up to Anfield, where we all thought Liverpool would sweep the Blues away for the Reds to cement the Premier League title. But this is football, and we should all know never to take anything for granted: Chelsea won 2 – 0 to astound everyone, and by default enable miffed Man City to have another crack at the Prem title – and Chelsea them­ selves could still win it should City falter.

In The Champions League semi­finals, Jose’s men put up the shutters last week in Madrid against this year’s Spanish form side Atletico, who can possibly pull off an amaz­ ing double by also winning La Liga, and so finally emerging from big brother Real’s shadow. The scene was set on Wednesday for yet another huge European night second leg at Stamford Bridge ­ but this time it wasn’t to be. One of Mourinho’s Achilles heels has often been losing semi­finals, and this time his beloved Blues were out­gunned 3 – 1 as Atletico marched on to Lisbon to take on their illustrious neighbours Real.

This time Mourinho was dignified and almost generous in defeat, and although this may be an also­ran season for everyone at The Bridge, make no mistake, this is real work in progress. Next year Chelsea will be the team to beat to win the Premier League – how does he do that?

UNFAIR ROLLOVER UCM MURCIA 58 LOS SQUALOS 7

With two matches remaining, Montesinos have a shout of getting into the end of sea­ son play­off’s after a highly entertaining match last Saturday. Surprisingly there was only one goal in the first half, with an Omar lob over the keeper being the only strike in 45 minutes that were largely dominated by the visitors, though Lopez made a great save to keep Monte in front before the inter­ val.

Monte started brightly in the second half, with Vaz making it two, tapping in from a Ruben cross, though Formentera quickly pulled one back from a deflected free kick.

The home side cranked up the pressure but Rodrigo came on as a substitute and clever­ ly put Vaz in to make it three­one. There then followed what was perhaps Monte’s goal of the season, when they were curiously awarded a free kick inside their own half, and Angel scored in a bit of cheeky oppor­ tunism, when he spotted the keeper on the edge of his area, and decided to lob the ball long range into an open goal. Vaz then sealed up the afternoon with his regular hat­ trick, which sets up Monte’s final home match of the season this Sunday against Rafal with a 6.15pm kick off.

The San Javier side was weakened for a variety of reasons for their final league match and the Squalos were shocked to find that the Murcia University side featured 7 of their top National League team, eager

to reverse an earlier defeat this season.

The visitors gave their best in a one­sided affair, with prop forward, Caco, scoring the only Squalos try, which was converted by Borja.

Friday, May 2, 2014

48

ALL OVER? IT ISN’T YET!

Just when you thought ­ that’s it at the top of the Prem, all done ‘n dusted, though the bottom’s still messy (!), then a crazy, topsy­ turvy weekend changes all that – at both ends! Looking­like­ Champions Liverpool inexplicably lost 2 – 0 at home to Chelsea after winning their last eleven games, conveniently leaving the Premier League title gate unlocked for Man City to crash through an hour later with a barnstorming win away at Crystal Palace. Maybe subdued­for­once super Suarez had the PFA title on his mind at Anfield, still he rightly won the award later, and good luck to him (except in Brazil).

So it’s all to play for once again at the top, see below* with two Liverpool games left, and three for City, the Blues three points behind, but with a better goal dif­ ference – bring it on… Double­ironically it was those other Blues, the party­poopers from the Bridge that did their damage at Anfield, with virtually Mourinho’s second team out, resting their big guns for Chelsea’s ultimately­disappointing Champions League semi­ final defeat by Atletico Madrid—that’s football, folks.

Looks like we’re all stuck with old Arsene for another year then. This season the Gunners started well, went off and are finishing strongly in fourth ­ and with the Cup Final to come, Wenger’s wizardry may not be waning in the West after all. Monday at the Emirates saw yet another Pardew­pasting as Newcastle fans chanted ‘Six in a row’ in a rasping ref­ erence to their worst run since 1986­87. Their back­ to­the­dugout headcase was somehow given an

John McGregor reports

eight­year contract in 2012, and generously admitted he could ‘understand their feelings’. Why aye, Alain man, yer’ shouldn’t have let Yohan Cabaye go in January ­ it’s all gone Pete Tong since then.

From a highly­complicated picture last week, down ‘dere in de Dreaded Drop Department, dramas simpli­ fied matters over the weekend**. Saturday first­off Fulham flung away a two goal lead to allow Hull to draw back 2 – 2 right at the death – and that could put the Cottagers down. Nervy old Norwich are also fac­ ing the firing squad and have the worst­possible run­ in ­ with all the terrible timing in the world, the Canaries had to fly to Old Trafford. There it was like a Spice Girls reunion without the Beckhams: Ryan, Nicky, Scholesy and one or two Nevilles at the party.

A Giggsy gift from the Gods saw Neil’s no­away­wins, no­hope Norwich nuked 4 – 0 at the Theatre of Dreams (worst­nightmare­last­week­over­now) as the Canaries wings were clipped to join Fulham as failing favourites. Double­doses of Rooney Mata’d where it counted, p.s. dodgy David’s history now.

Two down, one to go? Super Sunday up stepped sur­ vival­seeking Sunderland and Kamikaze Cardiff, illu­ minated together at the Stadium of Light: high noon appropriate for the sudden­death showdown.

Wearside’s man of the moment Connor Wickham scored two, that’s five in three as the Black Cats closed the Cardiff coffin lid down 4 – 0, with Juan Cala sent off to put the Red/Bluebirds rock­bottom, what a season: what now prize­prat prince Vince?

Some of the stars of the Great Escape are celebrating at The Hawthorns: just ‘keeping­the­ball’ celebra­ tions were big for the Baggies as West Brom wasted West Ham 1 – 0, giving Pepe Mel his first home win at last: Ben Foster for England? As it persistently­

hissed it down in Swales, a super strike by Swansea’s Shelvey with a Bony­brace boosted Swansea as they annexed angst­ridden Aston Villa away 4 – 1 ­ will Paul Lambert survive?

Right: runners and riders for the final furlong: *CHAMPION­CHASING TABLE TOPPERS Liverpool, 80 pts: Monday 5th May away to Crystal Palace, Sunday 11th home to Newcastle Chelsea, 78 pts: Sunday 4th home to Norwich, Sunday 11th away to Cardiff Man City, 77 pts: Saturday 3rd away to Everton, Wednesday 7th home to Aston Villa, Sunday 11th home to West Ham ** DREADED DROP DEPARTMENT, PERM 3 FROM 4 Sunderland, 32 pts: Saturday 3rd May away to Man United, Wednesday 7th home to West Brom, Sunday 11th home to Swansea.

Norwich, 32 pts: Sunday 4th away to Chelsea, Sunday 11th home to Arsenal Fulham, 31 pts: Sunday 4th away to Stoke, Sunday 11th home to Crystal Palace Cardiff, 30 pts: Saturday 3rd away to Newcastle, Sunday 11th home to Chelsea And finally: he wasn’t big in the UK, but Tito Vilanova was a massive figure in Spanish football, and played at Elche for two years 1998 ­2000. But the Spaniard was one of those chiefly credited with creating the legendary Barcelona team of recent years along with Pep Guardiola. Known as ‘The Marquez’, Tito died last week from cancer at the tragically­early age of 45, but left the following profound, poignant epitaph: "You should value what you've got; you never know when your time will be up". Indeed Tito… Thank you and RIP.