Week 162

Edition 162

www.thecourier.es

Friday, March 28, 2014

FOR WHOM THE AP7 TOLLS Patience needed for good news

By ALEX TRELINSKI All tolls on the AP7 motorway are to be scrapped, but not until December 31st 2019. The franchise along the route will not be extended to the bank­ rupt or near­bankrupt toll com­ panies, with the Ministry of Development saying that the road will pass to “government control” at the end of the decade.

Politicians across the region have been lobbying heavily recently for the Government to scrap the AP7 toll charges to provide relief on the N332 at busy areas like La Zenia and Torrevieja.

The Valencian Government’s Infrastructure Minister, Isabel Bonig,

said that the move would be a major economic boost for the region’s econo­ my.

“This motorway is a key infrastruc­ ture for the Mediterranean coast and this will a great way of optimising and connecting up the Valencian communi­ ty’s economy,” she added.

Orihuela’s Urban Planning Councillor Antonio Zapata claimed that the section of the motorway from Los Montesinos to the Orihuela Costa – about 13 kilometres – is one of the most expensive along the whole east coast, as there are two toll booths which cost over 6 Euros in the high season, and he said that the stretch is only used by 2 thousand vehicles a month, a massive reduction on the original projections of 30 thousand a month. Zapata added that the announcement was not good enough

and called for the date to be moved for­ ward or for steps to be taken to cut the toll costs at the two booths(at Los Montesinos/San Miguel and La Zenia) and which are separated by just a few kilometres.

Orihuela council started to lobby for the La Zenia booth to be scrapped to ease traffic at La Zenia roundabout, after it was forced to back­track on plans to introduce a one­way system in the area following complaints from local businesses. Both the Green Party and Socialist PSOE have been calling on Torrevieja Council to join in the clamour for the AP7 to scrap the toll charges.

Further afield, a big bonus for drivers will be the closure of the booths outside Benidorm and their high tariffs, which has seen many motorists opt for using the N332 via Villajoyosa to avoid pay­ ing the charges.

Our latest edition is always online at www.thecourier.es

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Friday, March 28, 2014

Are you a snapper? Do you have a great photo? Send it to design@thecourier.es and if we think it is good enough we will publish it as our Picture of the Week TELEPHONE

E­MAIL office@thecourier.es WEB www.thecourier.es HEAD OFFICE Calle Luis Canovas Martinez 1. Urb Aguas Nuevas, Torrevieja 03183, ALICANTE PHONE: 96 692 1003 Email: office@thecourier.es OPENING HOURS Mon ­ Fri 1030 to 1730 EDITOR Alex Trelinski CONSULTANT EDITOR Donna Gee ADVERTISING SALES 966 921 003 office@thecourier.es TELESALES 966 921 003 679 096 309 Sally Los Alcazares, San Javier 618 391 491 Myra Quesada, Rojales, Torrevieja, San Miguel Tel. 618 583 765 Jean La Zenia, Playa Flamenca, Cabo Roig Tel. 618 898 034 Patrick International Rep 5 Languages Tel 685 901 265 Alan Tel 616 332 178 Writers Donna Gee Sally Bengtsson Jeanette Erath Alex Trelinski Dave Silver Tony Mayes John McGregor

Picture of the Week

96 692 1003 679 096 309

Swallowtail Butterfly settling on my geraniums Photo by BARRY J SCHOFIELD. ROJALES

VAN MAN CAUGHT BABY HORROR

A British man on the run from police for his part in a prison van ambush in Salford has been arrested in Benidorm. The National Police swooped on Paul Taylor last Tuesday as he was sat on a café terrace along with two other British men. They in turn were arrested for vehicle theft and forgery, with the police seizing over 4 thousand Euros in cash from all 3 men as well as four mobile phones.

Taylor was part of a gang that helped Ryan McDonald and Stevie McMullen to escape from the back of a GeoAmey prison van in broad daylight and rush­hour traffic in Salford last April. The prison van was taking McDonald and McMullen back from Manchester Crown Court to Altcourse prison in Merseyside

A 25 year old Moroccan woman is in jail for trying to flush her newly born baby down a toilet. Doctors got suspicious when she went to the University Hospital Virgen de Murcia Arrixaca last Saturday suffering from strong vaginal bleeding. The medics realised she had just given birth, and so they tipped off the National Police, who then went to her home in the centre of Murcia City. They when it was hit by a stolen Saab and three searched the house and discovered the bathroom covered in men ­ one of whom was Paul Taylor ­ armed blood and a dead body of a newly born baby in the toilet. The with a variety of weapons, including a sawn­ woman has been remanded in custody ahead of deciding off shotgun released the pair, after assault­ whether murder or manslaughter charges will be brought ing the driver. Taylor was wanted on a deten­ against her. Her partner and her sister have been charged in tion and extradition warrant issued by the connection with the incident, but released.

British authorities,

Costa Blanca Brits rule

Affiliations

Orihuela is the British capital of Spain according to official figures from the National Institute of Statistics. They say that the number of Brits registered as liv­ ing in the Orihuela council area is 18,834, with Mijas on the Costa del Sol coming 2nd, with 15,645. Five munici­

Publication Published by Rainbow Media, S.L. Printed by Localprint S.L Depósito legal A ­ 132 ­ 2011 The Courier, its publishers, members of staff and its agents do not accept responsibility for claims by advertisers nor can it be held responsible for any errors in advertisements which are reproduced from poor artwork, low qual­ ity electronic data or inadequate instruc­ tions for text or other layout features.

Further no responsibility is accepted for any loss or damage caused by an error, inaccuracy or non­appearance of any advertisement, although all advertise­ ments produced are checked prior to insertion. We regret that we cannot accept responsibility for more than ONE incorrect insertion and that no re­publi­ cation will be granted in the case of typographical or minor changes which do not affect the value of the advertise­ ment. E&OE. NO PART OF THIS NEWSPAPER MAY BE REPRODUCED WITHOUT THE WRITTEN CONSENT OF THE PUBLISHERS.

palities in Alicante Province are in Spain’s top 10 of most strongly British populated, with Torrevieja coming 3rd with 13,172, followed by Rojales on 9,083. San Fulgencio, including La Marina, is ranked 9th with 6,364 British residents.

MORE VISITORS

Tourist figures for the Costa Blanca are continuing to rise with the Valencia region welcoming over 287 thousand domestic and inter­ national visitors in January and February, which is a 24% rise on the same period last year. Foreign visitors saw a growth of 14.3%, with French and UK tourists accounting with a lot of the rises. Overall, Spain had just over 3 million tourists in the first two months of 2014, a growth of just under 12%.

DON’T FORGET Turn your clocks forward one hour at 2am on Sunday

WANTED – MORE HEADLINE NEWS! DO YOU have a story that might grab the headlines?

What’s all the gossip about round your way? A spate of robberies, perhaps – or maybe you’ve spotted a celebrity in the neighbourhood. Whether your news involves fire, police, ambulance, accidents – or hap­

pier events like family weddings (particularly Golden and Diamond ones!), Just phone the Courier office on 966 921 003 or email office@thecourier.es We’re waiting for your call…and next week’s Front Page story.

Friday Partly cloudy High 18 Low 12° Chance of rain 17% Monday Partly cloudy High 19 Low 9° Chance of rain 14%

Tuesday Sunny High 20° Low 2° Chance of rain 0%

Saturday Cloudy High 19° Low 10° Chance of rain 23% Wednesday Partly cloudy High 17° Low 4° Chance of rain 3%

Sunday Partly cloudy High 20° Low 11° Chance of rain 15% Thursday Showers High 18° Low 6° Chance of rain 60%

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Friday, March 28, 2014

TOTALLY ILLEGAL Not a bitter pill to swallow An illegal car owned by a British man who could only produce fake documents, has been impounded by Fortuna police, with the fraudster skipping his court date. Cops got interested in the vehicle due to the dreadful way it had been parked and with it having British number plates. They discovered that the 56 year old owner, David WS, didn’t have a single paper in order over his car, with it being uninsured and the ITV docu­ mentation being a photocopied fake. But it didn’t stop there, as the persistent cops rang his UK insurance company and dis­ covered that he was using a false or stolen UK number­plate on his Citroen, which the company said was registered to an Audi car. The driver, though given police bail, missed his court appearance, and has shown no interest in retrieving his vehicle.

Besides forgery charges, the temporary

It’s going to be cheaper to buy a wide range of medi­ cines from your local pharma­ cy later this year, with over 14 thousand brands going down in the price. Prescription drugs partly funded by the health authority began to form part of a recommended retail price system 10 years ago, and a new law means that as each drug type reaches 10 years on the shelf in Spain or any other European Union country, new brand names can legally be created which means potential savings Fortuna resident, had broken the time­limit on price to the end user.

This formula, used in other EU countries on having an unregistered foreign vehicle, without paying the appropriate excise will also reduce costs for the Spanish nation­ duties and converting to Spanish registra­ al health system and will come with a 'guar­ antee' that the lowest available price will be tion.

BUM DEAL

A 42 year old Columbian woman who performed illegal aesthetic operations on a woman’s buttocks in the San Juan beach area of Alicante City has been arrested by the National Police. The clandestine quack operated out of a San Juan barbershop charging up to 1 thousand Euros for her services with no qualifications whatsoever. The salon owner claimed to be ignorant of what was going on, as the “operations” were performed in a locked back­room.

A client of the bogus beautician, grassed on her to the cops in February after work on “enhancing” her buttocks went wrong, resulting in severe pain and a fever. The posterior hurting patient had to make eight visits to the Emergency Department of the local hospital, including urgent surgery on one occasion as the doctors tried to find out what substance had been injected into her rear end.

ROBBIE WON’T GO GENTLE ON SPAIN

Top singer Robbie Willaims, along with many other international artists, are said to have black­listed performing in Spain due to high IVA rates. That’s the claim of the Music Promoters Association (APM) who say that concert income dropped by 29% last year after a big hike in IVA charged on gigs by the gov­ ernment. The APM say that Madrid treasury coffers will lose out on 30 million Euros because of the increased tax, and their president Pascual Sala says that big

ONE FOR THE ROAD

A drunk driver ploughed her car into a Torrevieja bar ter­ race last Saturday evening injurying two men who were enjoying a quiet drink. The drama unfolded at 8.30pm close to Cura beach on Calle Capitán García Gea, when the speeding vehicle crashed into the raised wooden terrace on the pavement, which collapsed under the impact of the colli­ sion. The two customers aged 46 and 64, from Murcia and Torrevieja, were taken to hospital with broken ribs and only minor injuries. The driver was taken to the police station, and she was found to be well over the drink­drive limit.

the one charged to patients, according to Spain’s deputy Prime Minister, Soraya Sáenz de Santamaría. Prices will be based upon recommend­ ed dose, and the new sys­ tem is likely to result in patients being given an exact number of pills where their treatment is not permanent in order to avoid waste and potential further cost to all concerned.

Where two or more drug brands are iden­ tical in composition, pharmacists will always dispense the cheapest in stock. If a drug pre­ scribed has a 'generic', or non­branded equivalent which is cheaper, then this will be dispensed instead of the brand stated on the prescription.

Getting lazy

Spanish people are get­ ting lazier, and that’s official!

A new study says that the number of Spaniards who never do sport or other phys­ ical activity is on the rise and is now above the European average.

The Eurobarometer sur­ vey has revealed that 44% of Spaniards never do sport or engage in physical exer­ cise, and that 49% never do any other physical activities such as gardening, cycling or dancing.

31% of Spaniards claim to exercise

"with some regularity", below the EU average of 33%, while 10% claim to do so "occasionally", compared with 17% across the rest of the continent.

HIGH SPEED HIT

RYANAIR IS TOP TWEETER

names like Robbie Williams no longer include Spain on their touring lists because prices are “no longer com­ petitive”.

SIGN OF THE TIMES

Orihuela council wants better sign­posting and house­ numbering in the area to make life easier for postmen and the emergency services, and so it’s announced a half a mil­ lion Euro contract for somebody to sort it all out. The fran­ chise winner will operate for 4 years, and will be told to con­ centrate on the Orihuela Costa and in areas which have the largest foreign populations. Some 16 thousand homes are said not to be properly numbered and signed, and there’s been criticism that key election documents and residencia papers have not been received by many people over the years.

WARM AND WET

Spain’s had its mildest winter since 2007 with an average temperature of 8.3 degrees C, which was 0.4 degrees warmer than normal. Rainfall over the winter was up 20% over the average levels. The warmest days of the last quarter were in mid­February with daytime values hitting 26 degrees in many parts of the Murcia and Valencia regions, though 30 year bests were achieved in January. Murcia’s daytime aver­ age temperature clocked at 10.1 degrees.

Passengers facing flight delays are increasingly taking to Twitter to search for a n s w e r s rather than using the phone. And the often­criti­ cised low budget airline, Ryanair, has come out as Europe's fastest Twitter cus­ tomer responder, according to a survey by travel intelli­ gence site Skift.

Ryanair has the fastest response time of airlines in Europe, with an average

wait of 66 minutes, with Lufthansa picked up s e c o n d place with a wait of 72 minutes, KLM sat in third position with 93 min­ utes, and Easyjet fourth with 120 minutes. At the other end of the Twitter response scale was Flybe, with an average wait of 955 minutes ­ and the longest wait of them all was Iceland Express with a whopping 3,031 minutes waiting time.

People using Renfe’s high speed AVE train services leapt by almost a quarter in the year leading up to last February.

The operator, which launched the high speed Alicante to Madrid line last summer, says that a 11% reduction in ticket prices and special deals helped to boost the travelling num­ bers.

Meanwhile, 'silent carriages' are to be introduced for pas­ sengers this summer which means that can sit in a carriage which will have no PA announcements and the use of mobile phones will be banned, unless they are in silent mode with calls banned. Other new services will include door­to­door luggage transporting, and on­board Wi­Fi.

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Friday, March 28, 2014

Not sweet but sour SWEPT AWAY

5 Chinese women were arrested, 4 of which have been bailed, on charges on running a brothel in a northern part of Murcia City. The National Police have uncovered money laundering and human exploitation which they say has been running for close to 3 years. It’s claimed that close to half a million Euros has been “moved” internationally.

IBERDROLA GETS SMART Electricity company Iberdrola is going to be intro­ ducing a new “smart grid” system that means that your electricity bills can be read remotely. The firm has begun installing some 200 thousand new smart meters across Alicante Province, concen­ trating initially on Alicante City, which they claim will make things easier for users to work out their consump­ tion rates and how they can save money.

BAD CURE

26 doctors were assaulted last year for doing their job in Alicante Province and the Costa Blanca. Figures from the OMC (Medical College) show that nearly all of the incidents were in public health centres either clinics or hospitals, with 8 lawsuits having been filed by the medical practitioners.

Bargain buys

Foreigners bought over 55 thousand homes in Spain last year, accounting for over 21% of the real estate trade in 2013. The non­ Spanish buys were up by nearly 10% compared to 2012, with the Valencia region, including the Costa Blanca, perhaps not surprisingly showing an annual increase of 16.9% in homes being bought by foreigners. The Valencia area figure was the biggest rise in the country for non­Spanish buyers, though the Murcia region did register an increase of 15.2%.

UNKEPT ROUTE

Guardamar ’s o p p o s i t i o n Socialists (PSOE) have slammed the council for not repairing the wood­ en walkway that leads to the 12th century Moorish castle.

They’ve called on the authority to take immediate action on something they claim has needed looking at for the last 18 months, and is one of the area’s major tourist attractions.

The pen is not mightier

Annual Spanish tax returns can no longer be filled in by pen from this year – a move that will affect an estimated 35 thousand people. The tax collection agency, the Agencia Tributaria, is set to increase its timetable of pre­booked face­ to­face appointments to help members of the public compile their declarations where they previously completed these manually.

20 Torrevieja bars and restaurants have been stopped from putting chairs, tables, and other installations out on the pavement. The Local Police have gone down hard on busi­ nesses that have broken the law by not applying correctly for permission to take anything out onto the street.

Dementia deaths up

Happier drivers

Elche taxi drivers have scrapped plans for a future strike over pirate operators using Alicante­Elche airport. The driv­ ers staged a walk out a fortnight ago, which was cut short after the promise of fresh talks, but after a second round of discussions this week, they seem to be happy with what’s been put on the table. They have been promised that the air­ port will soon have a license plate reading machine to moni­ tor clandestine behaviour as opposed to a control barrier that they wanted. Local police will step up their investigations of vehicles operating as pirate taxis, and new tariffs and quotas may be introduced for taxis based out of the area for collect­ ing people from El Altet.

CLEAN UP

The number of people dying from Alzheimer’s and demen­ tia related diseases has leapt up in Spain, mainly due to the country’s ageing population. The figures for 2012 showed that just over 13 thousand people died from dementia dis­ eases, up by 141% on the recorded figure of 5 thousand in the year 2000.

It’s estimated that more than 600,000 people are suffering from the disease, according to the Spanish Society of Neurology, but other estimates put the figure as high as 800,000. The nature of the disease makes recording exact figures extremely difficult, as most of those affected – around 75% – die from infections.

ALADDIN’S CAVE OF FAKES

A fake goods racket has been smashed by the National Police, with the Chinese/Spanish gang looking to sell 15 thousand counterfeit fashion items. The bogus goods were brought in from Córdoba, with the 7 man racket operating in the Boch area of Elche trying to flog off the fakes to retail dis­ tributors. Cops found counterfeit jewellery, purses, belts, and wallets branded under leading labels in their Elche raids, and one man ran the distribution operation from an office in Aspe.

BUSY LINES

Hot on the news of the takeover of internet operator ONO

by Vodafone, MásMóvil and Ibercom have announced that they are going to merge. Subject to shareholder approval, it will make the new company the third largest Spanish com­ munications company after Telefónica and Jazztel.

CASH BACK

Electricity users will be seeing refunds in their bills over the next few months after the government badly over­estimated the cost of the wholesale electricity market for the first quar­ ter of 2014. Energy Minister, José Manuel Soria, said that refunds will happen after the government overshot by nearly 100% the average price forecast for a megawatt hour. The minister also said there’s no hurry to introduce a new price mechanism system which was scheduled to kick in next week, saying that he’d rather wait a month or two to get things right.

Santa Pola is clear­ ing up its beaches in time for the Easter tourist season. The council has been get­ ting rid of algae from the beaches and also shipped in some clean sand to make things look better.

The authority is also increasing the number of waste bins, as well as cleaning graffiti and getting rid of fly­postings, in addition to introducing drinking fountains on every beach.

No re-opening

The old terminal at Alicante­Elche air­ port will not be used again for air traffic, says the airport owner AENA. They say they are perfect­ ly happy with the capacity of the facili­ ties that were opened 3 years ago, and that there’s plenty of room for expansion there.

Last year, it emerged that a company was interested in tak­ ing over the old facilities to create a major shopping area, but nothing so far has happened. AENA has now said that it will “rent out” the terminal to be used for what it described as commercial projects that are “firm and viable”.

Off the rails

A leading Valencian Government minister has poured cold water over the idea of a new rail link between Alicante­Elche air­ port and the AVE fast train service in Alicante via Torrellano.

Infrastructure minister Isabel Bonig said that the plan will continue to be looked at, but the eco­ nomic situation meant that nothing was going to happen in the foreseeable future.

SPAIN’S BANKS TO BE SHOPPED Spain’s banking and stock market watchdog, the CNMV, has hired a hit squad of spies to snoop around the country’s banks. The undercover mystery shoppers will be used to find out whether the banks are following the rules when they sell their products to customers. The CNMV say that any ‘evi­ dence’ gathered by the ‘shoppers’ will be used to take disci­ plinary action against financial institutions found to be violat­ ing regulations.

Friday, March 28, 2014

BURGLARS BAGGED

A 5­strong Murcia burglary gang, that committed robberies across the region, as well as Alicante Province and Madrid, have been arrested. The National Police suspect them of master­minding at least a dozen bur­ glaries across Spain, with the Columbian

group being apprehended at a house in Molina de Segura. A selection of tools to break into homes was taken as evidence, along with many stolen items, and further evidence that took the police to other homes across Murcia and Alicante.

A 33 year old doctor, who worked in hospitals in Torrevieja and Elda, has been arrested in Torrevieja for fraudu­ lently obtaining 5 thousand Euros by stealing bank and other financial infor­ mation from her colleagues. The

Guardia Civil in Torrevieja said that the female medic would use the credit card details of her workmates in paying off utility bills as well as using premium rate telephone clairvoyants and astrologers.

DOCTOR’S BAD CURE

David’s Semana Santa

Murcia without doubt offers one of the most moving and impressive Easter week processions. The main processions are held on Easter Friday with an early morning pro­ cession which starts with the rising of the first rays of the Sun. Known as the “kiss”. A brotherhood known as “the fraternity of our father Jesus of Nazareth”, also known as “Dolorosa” – loosely meaning “the pain,” set out with Floats representing the Last Supper, the prayer in the garden, The capture of Jesus and the fall of Jesus. An evening procession starts from different locations within Murcia – St Stephen, Holy Sepulchre and Santo Domingo and fuses into one large and very impressive procession through the centre of the city. This procession truly captures the mood of the sadness, followed by elation which encapsulates the Easter message.

The date for this excursion is Good Friday – 18th April.

Then something completely different hap­ pens on 26th April. The tongue in cheek burying of the Sardine. Although this fiesta is thought to have originated in Madrid. The city of Murcia has since made this one their own. Even changing the original date from Ash Wednesday at the end of the carnival season to a much later date which instead puts their festival a couple of weeks after

Easter. This procession is a bit of fun which ends in the ceremonial burial of a sardine.

The burning itself represents regeneration and liberation, thus purging the vices of the carnival season and restoring order. The fact that Murcia has separated this event from such lofty ideals certainly does nothing to inhibit the population from having great fun.

Thirty noisy, colourful, Carnival groups parade through the streets accompanied by brass bands. Grotesque looking “Bigheads” march with the group to the burial place of the sardine, where it is set on fire, dedicated to the Gods of Olympus, and buried until it starts all over again next year. Even the famous Spanish artist, Francisco Goya was impressed enough to base a painting on Madrid’s version of this event.

So there you have a choice between the serious, but incredibly impressive Easter Friday procession. Or the more light hearted fun event of the Burial of the Sardine. Or why not do both?

The easiest way is to travel with David’s Coachtrips who are offering both excursions at the same price of 11€.

With local pickups and no parking prob­ lems you can be sure of a hassle free night out. Reservations can be made by phone on (0034) 966785910.

Or online at www.coachtripsonline.com

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Friday, March 28 2014

editor@thecourier.es COURIER POSTBAG: YOUR VIEWS ON OUR NEWS

A eyesore of a neighbour I AM enclosing a picture taken on Friday of last week, show­ ing the view from my conser­ vatory and kitchen windows.

My neighbour, without con­ sulting me of his project, went ahead and had the firm con­ struct this panels.

I went to the council but they said they couldn't do any­ thing about it unless other neighbours complained.

As the surrounding neigh­ bours are only here at the hol­ iday season this is not possi­ ble.

He has a terrace which is not used and I said he could have used that, which would have been higher and out of sight of view. But the installers said it wouldn't get as much sun.

I feel that where it is involved less work regarding connection as the supply is adjacent. would like to hear com­ ments from your readers regarding this situation.

T FORD

When the air pressure starts to take its toll...

I LOVE the title of Donna Gee’s piece last week...Squeals on Wheels.

I gave up flying in 2010 for many of the reasons Donna described and I admire here very much, still flying.

The only flight I will ever do now is the ONE leaving the UK. No more, as like you I just cannot cope with the noise/busyness and sheer stress. Remember, if you don't like doing the wheelchair thing most airlines will arrange for a motorised cart/cab for you to get to boarding.

Also, it is worth paying a little more just to sit in a quiet airport lounge whilst waiting. Good luck Donna...and don't chuck in the flying towel until the very last. Enjoy what's left of your freedom PS. Do let me know if they ever build private loos for each passenger ‘ELVIRIA DREAMER’ (via Donna’s Eye on Spain blogsite) ONE of the things I find most difficult in life is asking for a favour, so I'm also going to hate that loss of independence, when it inevitably comes.

q

But as my late father­in­law used to say, getting old isn't good but it's better than the alternative.

Personally, though, Donna, I wouldn't put myself through all that stress; if at all possible, I'd choose a country to be in ­ and it would be the UK ­ and I'd stay put.

‘KERNAGHAN’ (via Donna’s Eye on Spain blogsite)

Letters and emails will only be considered for publication on this page if an address and contact number are provided in case we need to call you.

THE PAY-OFF

All systems pro as Nico eyes ATP glory

SPANISH tennis’s new Nadal celebrated his 14th birthday last week by reaching the final of Valencia’s top tournament for SIX­ TEEN year olds.

Nicola Kuhn’s stunning rise to the pinnacle of junior tennis hit a new peak as he stormed his way past a field of outstanding players three years older then himself.

And th boy from Torre del Moro now has his sights set on turning professional.

Unfazed by what was only his second defeat this year (the first was in the final of what is generally regarded as the world Under­14 championship), Nico told me this week: “I was runner­up in this Valencian Under­16 tourna­ ment but I was close.

“Next month I play one of the biggest under 18 tour­ naments in the world at the academy in Villena.

TENNIS AND DENNIS: Nicola Kuhn (centre) with Torre del Moro neighbours Angela and Dennis Powell

“As for turning profession­ al, it’s allowed at the age of 14 but you are only really considered professional when you are playing ATP tournaments. At 14, that is very difficult if not impossible.

“It’s really difficult to say

when it will actually will hap­ pen, but we will try as soon as possible.’’

Meanwhile, Nico’s coach has pulled him out of the Tennis Europe circuit, where he was ranked No.2 behind a Russian whom he had beat­

en along with every other contender.

Nico’s coaching team want him to face tougher challenges than Europe’s best 14 year olds and have earmarked a series of 16 and 18 group events as more suited to his stunning progress.

Nico is officially German, having led their Under 14 team to the European title last month. And he says: “The Germans a treat me very well and I hope it con­ tinues like this.

“The nationality thing is funny ­ do I go with Germany with Spain for the future? It depends really on who pays more and has better options for me.’’

DONNA GEE

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Friday, March 28, 2014

IT’S Sunday evening, I'm packing my bags to return to Spain tomor­ row, and I have a dead­ line to meet.

OK, D­day is four days away but picking the moans out of life every week is no mean challenge.

In fact, I sometimes won­ der how I manage to find something new to write about each week.

Well, the answer is that I don't, which is my excuse for bombarding you this week with some of the contents of Donna's Diary of Diabolical Puns.

Over the past three years.

I‘ve filled more than 150 pages of the Courier with my weekly Grumpings. It's been more for love than money, too.

Let’s face it, there’s scarcely enough cash float­ ing around in Spain to pay the rant (pun intended, not a typo), never mind finance a

q

TO THE MANNER CORN

TV putdown of my fishing pun left me cod-smacked

full shop at Merca­Donna.

So I just do a Lidl a couple of times a week.

Either way, I’ll need to Consum a lot less after my visit to the UK. How the plane will get air­ borne on the way back to Spain I really don’t know. My two daughters stuffed me with so many goodies this past week that I expect to became the first Easyjet pas­ senger ever to travel from England to Spain by steam­ bloat.

THE new support group for Parkinson’s sufferers and their families is going great shakes, thank you very much. I can say that because I’m a Parky person ­ indeed, I can even joke about dancing to the music of Shakin’ Stevens and the Tremble­lows. But the rest of the world must keep mum or risk the wrath of political correctness. Odd, isn’t it? Anyway, more than a dozen people attended this week’s group coffee morning at Bobby Jo’s in Los Montesinos. I’ll be popping in for Tuesday’s chat show (11am). See you there, Michael.

I’ve never been quite sure what people make of my ver­ bal twists – or how many fel­ low pundamentalists (or is that mental pundalists?) are out there in Courier land.

And at what age ‘normal’ chil­ dren’s brains start to quirk.

Which is why I've never ventured into the world of lit­ erature with my bee­utiful brace of bug­standard books.

Before I tell you more about Claude of the Rings and its sequel Lloyd of the Stings, I must tell you how I got hooked professionally by the pun bug.

I was fortunate to be part of the team of journalists that launched the Daily Star in Manchester inn 1978.

Our first­ever issue was featured on Granada TV’s What the Papers Say. Presenter Bill Grundy was renowned for his sarcasm ­

and I got the full treatment for the masthead I had written for the Star’s embryo Fishing Column.

‘STAR ANGLING...you’ll fall for it hook, line and sinker’, whined Grundy as I choked on a mouthful of corn on the cod.

Anyway, Claude of the Rings and its sequel Lloyd of the Stings, tell the story of a fly and a wasp who live cosily in a swarm corner of an air­

port terminal.

They become friends and are fascinated by the gigantic metal insects that both swal­ low up hordes of human beings and also poo them out alive.

To quote the words I’m planning for the fly­leaf, they stow away inside one of these huge creatures and end up in a strange country where they don’t speak the wingo.

Their adventures include

being rushed to waspital after drinking too much Budflyzer, having a battle with Spiderman on the web, and ending up in America where they become the stars of a hit TV series called Swat’s Landing.

Oh, I forgot to tell you.

Claude's dad Maurice is a gardener who specialises in cutting lawns. His pals call him Flymo.

Not funny? In that case, I'll buzz off.

Spinal Column: Putting all the backs in one X hit THE Americans couldn’t pro­ nounce his name so they dubbed him Doctor X when he was study­ ing at the fountainhead of world chiropractic in Iowa.

And there is certainly an X fac­ tor about the work of the charis­ matic Frenchman.

Dr Xavier Dutey­Hariste’s name is impossible to remember ­ but the man himself Is impossible to forget. So are his intriguing treat­ ment sessions, which in my case have combined head and body acupuncture, traditional chiro­ practics and heat treatment.

Dr X is held in such high esteem that patients think noth­ ing of travelling from Madrid and Albacete to his Algorfa clinic. His illustrious clientele have included King Hussein of Jordan and golf legend Severiano Ballesteros.

As for my own treatment, I love the gentle way the doctor and his aide Catherine ­ whose assis­ tance he values highly ­ pick the bones out of my problems.

I invariably leave the clinic feel­ ing ten times better than when I arrived. And having learnt consid­ erably more about my psycholog­

ical makeup than I had previously been aware.

Take my latest session on Tuesday – just hours after my return from a week with my family in northern England.

Dr X, who is convinced his treatment can help my battle against Parkinson’s, immediately picked up on inner tension gener­ ated by the pressures of my jour­ ney back to Spain.

He took my hands gently in his and gave me the Maurice Chevalier treatment. “You need to relax,'' he purred as I melted into

a blob of je ne sais quois. “You are like someone who has lots of TV channels to look at but watch­ es just one. You must open up.’’

I spent the next half hour enjoy­ ing a special X Factor of treat­ ment which left me feeling exhila­ rated. I almost danced to my car under instructions to go home and have a couple of hours rest.

The X files continue to smother me with X Smiles. It may not be wise to put all your eggs in one basket, but mending backs in one X hit is a different matter.

And as for X appeal, ooh la la...

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Friday, March 28, 2014

Friday, March 28, 2014

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Friday, March 28, 2014

A DOMESTIC DUST-UP

I loved my job so much that on the day I retired from full­time work, I had to be dragged kicking and screaming out of the build­ ing. Mrs S, however, claims that this actually happened on our wedding day when I had to be dragged kicking and screaming into the building.

Whichever one of us is correct, there is no doubting that there has been a lot of kicking, screaming and drag­ ging during various stages of my life. Anyway, although these days I am cheerfully occupied writing my Courier columns, my main task is to perform certain household chores, namely the dusting.

Indeed, I have been doing it for 12 years now, ever since the afternoon I left my journalism job and Mrs S pre­ sented me with a special retirement gift ­­ a clean duster and a sparkling new can of Mr Sheen.

She led me (kicking and screaming?) into the front room and announced: 'Start here and work your way

through every room. Please pay particular attention to our family photographs. I've noticed that the picture of my mother seems to have some­ body's thumb prints pressed into the glass in the sec­ tion over her throat.

'And when you've fin­ ished off the dusting,' Mrs S finished off say­ ing, 'you may have a lie­

down ­­ while you hand­ brush the skirting boards.'

Overwhelmed by my wife's idea of my new job descrip­ tion, I felt my dry mouth gap­ ing open in dawning realisa­ tion at what my dismal future held.

'Is some­

thing irking you, husband?'

Mrs S asked. 'No, dear,' I mumbled. 'I was just wonder­ ing whether the anti­slavery Bill had got through Parliament yet.'

Mrs S sniffed with disdain.

'Phyllis never has this trouble with her Spike,' she said.

Phyllis is Mrs S's best friend.

Spike, her husband, is possi­ bly, nay probably, the most boring man in the galaxy. The mere utter­ ance of Spike's name in my presence was like show­ ing a red duster to a bull. The smug cheek of Mrs S in com­ paring me to stuffy, stodgy, spiritless, sapless Spike had rendered me almost speech­ less. But not quite.

'Spike loves, nay lives, to clean his house,' I squawked.

'Indeed, I have a theory that your best friend's husband is not even human. I reckon he was assembled out of a dis­ interred pile of boring old bones and bits of bailing wire by a team of mad scientists whose sole intention was to rile me.'

'That's a stupid thing to

say,' countered Mrs S. 'I think you've watched Robocop too many times.'

'Whatever,' I said, the stan­ dard response from combat­ ants who cannot conjure up any further verbal argument.

A dozen years have passed since I made my dusting debut. On the anniversary of my retirement from my newspaper day job, Mrs S summoned me into the kitchen for what she described as an important discussion.

'On this very day in 2002, I first handed you your clean­ ing equipment,' she announced. 'Would you please explain to me how, after all those years, you are still using the SAME can of Mr Sheen. And there's no use arguing with the facts.

The container bears the label of the now­defunct store I bought it from together with the low price it sold at in those days.'

I scratched my head in pretend puzzlement.

'Perhaps it's a magic can that can replenish its own con­

tents. But while we're on the subject, did you know that Mr Sheen was from Poland?

How do I know? Because it says Polish on the container.'

My pathetic attempt to dis­ tract Mrs S earned me a severe tongue­lashing and I was sent to my room (the cupboard under the stairs) for two hours to reflect on my behaviour.

'The one thing that I cannot get my head around,' said Mrs S as she let me out again, 'is that although you've ducked out of the dusting for 12 years, our house is sparkling clean.

How did that happen?'

I waited until Mrs S was out of earshot and pulled out my mobile phone. 'Bad news, Spike. You're gonna have to stop coming around here for a while with your trusty dusters and cans of cleaner.

Yes, I know how much you adore doing my chores but something's cropped up.

'Believe me, I know how upset you must be, especial­ ly as you've taken such a shine to Mr Sheen.'

Friday, March 28, 2014

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Friday, March 28, 2014

BILLY IS MY HERO

For me, it is an honour to have a German Shepherd dog. Well ok, not one but two! I simply adore the breed. Ever since I was a small child, I was obsessed with this breed and I promised myself that when I grew up they would always be in my life. I have eight dogs now, of all different mixes and sizes, but when I am out in the mountains with them all, I am constantly flanked by Billy and Lola, my two German Shepherds.

They are known as “Velcro dogs” because they are con­ stantly by your side and this is so very true. All my other dogs will run off and play, but all Billy and Lola want, is to be by my side. The German Shepherd’s loyalty credentials are simply unquestionable. They will follow you to the ends of the earth and this loyalty needs to be rewarded with kindness, love, devotion and gentle guidance.

Yes, this breed is known throughout the world as THE police and military dog but I am adamant that they are the most sensitive breed out there. Originally used as a herd­ ing dog, they grew in popularity during the First World War, where they were used as guard dogs, message carriers and telephone cable layers. Yes, this is one of the most intelligent breeds that will ever grace the earth.

When the war ended, soldiers from Britain, America, Australia and New Zealand snapped up some of the 48,000 German Shepherds that were used during the war and within one year this breed was to thankfully be found around the world. In Britain people refused to call them German Shepherds, because of the war with Germany, so the name Alsatian was invented.

Teaching a German Shepherd to protect is a bit like teach­ ing a bricklayer to lay bricks! They already know how to do this. No matter where we have lived, all Billy my German Shepherd wants to know is where is the entrance to the

house and that is where he is always to be found, faithfully guarding the entrance. I make this area as warm and as com­ fortable as possible for him, but I often try to persuade him away from what he calls his natural duty, to be next to me in the front room, as he also likes to watch football with his old Dad! Hip­dysplasia is all too common with this breed and while the bones are forming they should not be allowed to climb stairs or go on long walks. They also suffer from gastric tor­ sion, or bloat as it is commonly referred to, where the stom­ ach can twist, if they have been fed before exercise. This is one of the biggest killers in German Shepherds, so never feed them before exercise. This is of paramount importance.

If you are getting a German Shepherd puppy, I cannot stress to you the importance of socialising them properly

while they are young. You need to make sure that this suc­ cessfully takes place in their first sixteen weeks of life.

I adore all dogs with a passion, but I must admit to hav­ ing a soft spot for this breed. I think they have absolutely everything you could ever wish for in a dog. Hugely loyal, courageous, highly intelligent along with looks to die for!

The only thing that breaks my heart, is their short life expectancy of around ten to twelve years.

I hate when I see humans taking advantage of this breed’s tendency to protect. They want to see the world and love being with their humans, so they should not be subjected to a life of loneliness and misery behind a boundary fence. Billy, my male German Shepherd, is everything I have described in this article, along with two other very important aspects. He is my guardian angel and my teacher. Everything I know, he has taught me and for that he is my everlasting hero.

I am available for consultations throughout the Costa Blanca region, if you are having problems with your furry best friend. To book a consultation you can email me at peter@thedogyouneed.com and I will contact you straight away, or you can call me on 966 847 827.

We have set up an animal charity, where we help the most severely abused and injured animals in Spain. If you would be kind enough to donate anything to this special cause you can do by PayPal, where the account details are peter@the­ dogyouneed.com or to our Nat West charity account, where the sort code is 60­16­03 and the account number is 73754900.

IBAN: GB83 NWBK 6016 0373 7549 00. BIC: NWBK GB 2L Even one Euro will help, so please, please, try and support us. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

PETS’ CORNER: CAN YOU TAKE IN A HOMELESS DOG OR CAT? Poor IDAHO has been with us since he was 6 weeks old and one year on he is still here and we can´t unders­ tand why. He is a handsome boy who has a wonderful temperament, gets on well with all his kennel mates and loves going for a walk. He is a Husky Lab cross who is fully vaccinated, micro chip­ ped and castrated so come on, let’s find Idaho a forever home soon. For more info please contact us on 966710047 or email info@satanimalrescue.com

Billie is a Shar Pei cross with a very gentle nature. Is fine with other dogs . Whoever adopts her will have a very loyal companion as she never leaves your side when walking. If ever there was a dog who deserves a loving home then this is her.

Everyone who meets falls in love with her. Please contact K9 or PHONE 600 84 54 20 for more info www.k9club.es

Worzel had been seen run­ ning around the countryside, with piece of old rope and clip tight around his neck; He had obviously been tied up somewhere and managed to get free. He was in reasona­ ble condition although his neck was a little sore. He is a one year old, medium sized Spanish Sheepdog who is energetic, plays well with his kennel mates and likes lots of fuss; he enjoys his walks and is good on the lead.

Worzel is now fully vaccina­ ted, micro chipped and cas­ trated.

Please call 966710047 or email info@satanimalrescue.com

Billie Idaho Nina is around 14 months old and was thrown from a car last year. She is good with other cats and loves a lap to curl up on. Nina nega­ tive for all feline diseases and is sterilized.

Call:645 469 253 www.petsinspain.com

Nina

Sienna is a 3 year old Galgo who came to us in a very bad state. Sienna is now ready for her own home. She is a very special girl even though she has suffered so much she is very loving and friendly. She gets on very well with other dogs. She has lots of energy and and loves to play. For more info about Sienna plea­ se call 650 304 746 or email p.e.p.a.animalcharity@gmail. com

Sebastian and Chanel were found in a shallow canal last week, they are approx 10 weeks old, good with cats and other dogs and will be medium size when fully grown. Call: 645 469 253 www.petsinspain.com

Sienna

Sebastian & Chanel

Worzel

Sarah ­ female Leonberger beautiful big girl, 4 years old, gentle giant. Another one just left at our gates. Please call Paradise Kennels 619 938 955 or find us on face­ book.

Dougie was found in a field after being hit by car, back to full health now and has been castrated, chipped and vaccinations to date. He is around 18 months old, medium size and loves ever­ yone! 610188349

Teddy is a large Mastin cross dog that was found wandering. He is good with other dogs and he is very friendly, he is only about 3 years old and he is looking for a new home. For more information on this lovely boy please telephone the P.E.P.A. helpline on 650 304 746 or email p.e.p.a.animal­ charity@gmail.com

Dougie

Teddy

Sarah Lucy and Nellie were found wandering the country lanes their fur so overgrown and matted they couldn't put one foot in front of the other.

They have been groomed and are now as good as new. They are about one year old, really lovely dogs, and in need of some love and affection. We will re home them together or separate. Tel 616655789 Cats N Dogs Aid Association. Reg. No G54658810 www.catsndogsaid.com

Lucy

Nellie

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Friday, March 28, 2014

Duncan’s a cut above the rest After falling in love with the Costa Blanca, Duncan and Mary Philips sold their Barber Shop businesses in the Scottish Highlands 14 years ago and upped sticks to Torrevieja. In 2001, “Duncan’s Gentlemen’s Barber’s” was launched as the origi­ nal British Barber Shop in

the city, and is on Calle Rossini, La Siesta, next door to the Private Clinic.

With 40 years of experi­ ence, Duncan has plenty to pass on to his cus­ tomers from a traditional “short, back, and sides”, through to all of today’s modern cuts and styles.

The shop has been run­

NEW ROAD RULES

ning for 13 years, and the sure sign of success is the wide range of people of all ages from all nationalities that use it. Friendliness and a warm welcome is guaranteed, with Duncan convinced that customer loyalty has been a key fac­ tor in his success. Despite many ex­pat’s passing on over the years or returning to the UK, this vibrant business still enjoys a plenty of loyal clients, so why not try it for yourself?

Duncan´s Gentlemen´s Barber´s is open on week­ days from 9.00 am ­ 3.00 Spain’s new Traffic Law pm (No Siesta) and on a went through Parliament Saturday morning from last week with most of the 9.00 am to Midday. measures kicking in next

month, whilst speed limit changes and child safety improvements coming this June. The motorway speed limit will go up to 130 kilo­ metres per hour on certain stretches, and drink­drive fines have been doubled from 500 to 1,000 Euros. It’s all part of a new package of traffic laws which sees cycle helmets as mandatory for all under­18s on bikes.

Pedestrians – not just driv­ ers – will be breathalysed and tested for drug­con­ sumption where they infringe what the govern­ ment calls “traffic norms”, even where they are not involved in accidents.

Children's safety seats in cars will be more heavily regulated and will apply by height rather than age – they will be obligatory for all children of 1.35m (4'6”) or

under.

Speed­camera detectors in cars will become illegal and speeds on parts of motorways, where road traffic experts consider it safe to do so, will go up to 130 kilometres per hour although on minor roads and in towns, some speed limits will go down.

Importantly, all foreign residents will be obliged to register their vehicles in Spain, and with Spanish plates. Until now, the obli­ gation has only been to meet special tax require­ ments, but this has meant that it has proved difficult to fine foreign residents for breaking road traffic laws.

This new rule will apply to both foreign residents and business owners in Spain, and to all vehicles which are to be used on Spanish roads.

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Friday, March 28, 2014

THE WORLD COULD BE MY OYSTER

I watched a TV show recently where the main characters went on a trip from New York to Philadelphia in America, and I began to think about the journey. I am not at all good at geography, and even less knowledgeable about American states or cities, so I decided to check out the distance between the two featured places.

As I was looking at the big map where you could see roads and buildings, I decid­ ed to take a look at Los Angeles. I´m not a traveller, since it has never really interested me but I would like to visit LA, and so I started to look at the surrounding area, and then I zoomed out to see the distance between New York and Los Angeles and I noticed all the many places in between! I spotted names that I recognised, such as Nashville, the home of coun­ try music; Lubbock in Texas where Buddy Holly was

born; Tulsa in Oklahoma, which reminded me of Gene Pitney; and Memphis, which is forever associated with Elvis Presley. Then there were cities that reminded me of films or TV programmes: Philadelphia of course, and also Miami, Kansas and Dallas. But, in the past, I had never really thought of these places as anything more than names on a map, how­ ever, at times the realisation hits me that these are more than the title of a book or film and they are more than song or story. They are the song, they are the story!

I sometimes imagine what my life might have been like had I been born in a different place to different parents. I see people in the street and I think I could have been them, I could have been born in their family, but of course I was born into mine, and for that I am grateful. I am not looking to change who I am, more to use it as a lever to gauge my life. For example I

might look at someone and think ´thank goodness I´m not them´ or I might look at someone and think ´I wish I was like that´ but then, think­ ing about it, I realise that I can be like that. I am still young enough to change my destiny. Some things of course are out of my hand.

My health is something I try and look after but it´s not something I have total con­ trol over, however my lifestyle and how I live is up to me. This isn´t an article about wanting to be some­ one else, or about changing my life, because if I wanted to I could. After all, I did it nine years ago, so why not do it again? This is more about being grateful for who the person I was born to be and thinking about all the

people in the world and how they are living. We all know that the world is a huge place filled with incredible poverty and extreme wealth. How it´s a matter of luck where you´re born, and to whom.

As I looked at the map, I began to think that maybe I would like to travel, some­ thing I have never consid­ ered in the past which may be becoming a dream.

When I was around 21 years old, I read a book that impacted on my life but not enough to do anything about it. It was ´On the Road´ by Jack Kerouac and if you´re not familiar with it, it’s the story of a road trip across America by a young man, Sal Paradise and the adventures that happened

to him. Of course it was set in a different time, which was the 1950´s and the time of the rock n’roll and beat gen­ eration. It was a freer time when life was more relaxed and there was less pressure.

I adored that book and have read it time and again, but even back to the first time I picked it up, I found myself entranced by its words yet there was nothing pushing me to do the same thing. I liked to lose myself in the dialogue but never felt the need to do it myself. But on this day, I was looking at the map and imagining all the people that are living in the various places now. I would consider the different time zones, as I´m waking up they are sleeping or going to bed, and how they are living their

lives on the other side of the ocean but in effect, they are not that different to me.

I have a friend who lived in Spain and is now living near New York, working as a pho­ tographer, married to an American and living their dream. Not that I would want that for myself but I do think good luck to anyone who has a dream and follows it, just like all of us ex­pats who came to Spain with our dreams. Moving to another country is not, at the moment, something that I want to do but maybe travel and seeing new places may be. Although I´m a home person, I like my creature comforts and home life, though travel just might become a new hobby for me.

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Friday, March 28, 2014

GEORGE GOES GREY It might be just me, but I didn’t hear too much negative howling and jeering over George Osborne’s UK Budget speech last week, and like with so many Budgets over the years, you do need a few days for all the details to sink in, but much to Labour’s chagrin, I think the Chancellor played a blinder.

With an election very much in mind, and knowing that the over­ 50’s are the com­ mitted voters, he’s offered a revolution in pensions, by

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scrapping the need to buy an annuity, along with introducing a new pensioners bond and upping big­time the amount of money you can put in an ISA. Labour were totally wrong­footed and it took a couple of days for them to accept, in a rare admission, that the pension plans made sense.

All they could do was to criticise an admit­ tedly crass bit of Tory advertising about cut­ ting beer and bingo taxes, but if that’s the best Ed Balls could do, then they’ve got a real problem. At least the shadow Chancellor at last brought himself to make a public admission that the previous govern­ ment’s mistakes played a part in the UK recession, after 4 years of silence on the matter, but as I’ve frequently written, an improving economy spells possible elec­ toral trouble for the opposition. Osborne knows that pandering to the older vot­ ers, whose savings have been chipped at with low interest rates, will very much like what he has done, and also lurking around the corner is the near certainty of interest rates going up next year, once the election is out of the way.

That’s also good news incidentally for ex­pats here in Spain, as the Euro/Pound exchange rate will almost certainly improve.

This may well be a potential game­ changer for the Tories, with 2 opinion

polls putting them neck and neck with Labour for the first time in ages, with over a year to go before the 2015 election, though I’d still say that Labour have their nose just in front at the moment. I’ll say something about Spanish voters and that’s the fact that they are not as forgetful or forgiving as the UK ones, with the opposition PSOE hot favourites to lose again to Rajoy’s PP next year, after the shambolic mess left by Zapatero and his cronies. It’s strange that in Britain, a certain section of the electorate has conveniently forgotten the chaos creat­ ed by Brown, Darling, and Balls just a few years ago, but I suggest that more people are beginning to come around to the view that the harsh medicine given out by the coalition was frankly the only way to get the UK out of the mess.

Talking of elections, there are local ones in Spain next year (as well as the General Election), and have you noticed every local ayuntamiento announcing their budgets over the last couple of months with great gusto, saying how well they’ve done and what lovely surpluses they’ve come up with? If I were you, I’d start asking for any much needed improvements to be done to your area right now, as all the current admin­ istrations try to create a “feel­good” atmos­ phere and try to buy your votes before Spring next year

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LÍNEA DIRECTA, THE BEST COMPANY FOR EXPATRIATES AT THE BEST PRICE Since 1998 Línea Directa, the market leader in the sale of direct car, motorbike and home insurance in Spain, has offered an exclusive telephone service entirely in English and German. This service, the first of its kind in Spain, forms part of the com­ pany’s commitment to quality and excellence, which have also made it the market leader in this business sector, due to the fact that it currently has over 63,000 foreign customers residing in Spain.

As a result, services such as purchasing a policy, making enquiries, processing claims, sending documents and 24­hour assistance can all be carried out in English or German at a time which is convenient for the customer by making just one phone call.

And not only does Línea Directa offer the best, it also offers its services at the most competitive price on the market. It does this in two ways: ­ Price personalisation: behind each quote there is a sales professional who, via a quick questionnaire, will search for the best product and conditions to suit the cus­ tomer’s personal requirements and will assess him or her according to their individ­ ual circumstances. ­ Maximum competitiveness: still at the best price, this month Línea Directa is making Expats an exclusive 12x11 offer, which allows them to enjoy one year of insurance for the price of 11 months. And what is more, if the person requesting this offer already has another car insurance policy with Línea Directa, then the offer will be 12x10, which is to say two months’ free cover.

This is the result of a strategy which is permanently geared towards offering cus­ tomers the very best quality at the very best price.

Call now 902.123.104

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Tony

Friday, March 28, 2014

Mayes

HE ALWAYS HAS SOMETHING TO SHOUT ABOUT

THEY’LL LET IT GO TO POT!

One of the main planks of the Conservative Party policy in the UK is that people should have the choice to do what they like with their own money.

Fair enough, you might think. It's that freedom which the Chancellor George Osborne is providing by allowing people to cash in their pension pot. No doubt there will be those who will choose to take money out of their pot to have an expen­ sive cruise, or keep up with the Joneses and buy an up­ market car. And what will the result be? They will retire and have nothing like the money they were hoping for during retirement, which could last many years. And what are they likely to do? Some will then be pleading poverty, bringing out the begging bowl and trying to get some State cash hand­outs.

People who raid their pen­ sion pots should be warned that if they do so, except in an emergency, they cannot expect an additional State bailout after they retire.

While I was at work, there were so many employees I knew who did not bother to put money aside for their old age. They openly admitted they would look to State hand­outs to make up any shortfall. Why the hell should people expect to have a bet­ ter standard of living while at work by not providing for retirement, and then be given supplementary bene­ fits in their old age? Yes, they wanted it both ways, and to the devil with them!

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Much has been written about the nasty Russians marching into the Crimea and annexing it, fra­ grantly in violation of interna­ tional law. Well, this may sur­ prise you when I say, good for them. Had Russia not taken the action it did, there would have been a blood bath in Ukraine, with Russian­speaking people fighting those who want clos­ er ties with the West ­ anoth­ er civil war. The vast majority of people in Crimea are of Russian origin and wanted to have ties with Russia.

Wouldn't it be a wonderful breath of fresh air if a politi­ cian would for once say that he/she would do everything in their power before any­ thing else, to prevent blood­ shed, even if it meant the division of a country on eth­ nic or religious lines. I was in Cyprus a month after the Turkish invasion of that island in 1974. Prior to the military action, Greek and Turkish Cypriots were killing each other, but the Turks, by separating the two communi­ ties put a stop to it and there has been relative peace on Cyprus ever since. That's why I think Russia was right in everything they did ­ step­ ping in quickly and decisive­ ly, and, in the process, only one person was killed, rather than thousands if Ukraine had been left to sort its own problems out. The West is right to support the remain­ der of Ukraine now, both financially and politically, and it should be made abundant­ ly clear to Russia there would be severe sanctions if

Russia attempted to annexe any more of Ukraine's territo­ ry. I also partially applaud Russia for its policy in Syria.

The government there is appalling in the extreme, but the rebels which the West has been supporting are far worse, with fanatics and reli­ gious nut cases in their ranks, itching to spread Sharia law and being prepared to do anything and kill anyone to achieve it.

I certainly do, and get more than a little peeved with arty­ farty new recipes which mess up a good meal. For exam­ ple. I love the taste of fish, and a well grilled lemon sole is pretty close to heaven. It's a subtle taste and doesn't need to be messed around with. So why have cooks got to put lemon on it, or spices to supposedly bring out the taste? It just doesn’t and all you get is fish that doesn't Sometimes I wonder taste of fish anymore, instead it’s full of lemon or spice how shopkeepers ever flavours. Last week in a rated manage to stay in business? restaurant, I saw some fish What am I on about? So glazed with honey on the many times I see a shop menu. I like honey, but if I owner park his/her car right want to eat it, then I'll have it outside their store and leave on a sandwich, not all over a it there all day. What's wrong fish! Why has lamb got to be with that some of you may be plastered with mint? Why has asking? Well, the answer is a packet of chicken goujons that the car parked outside got to be covered with hot the shop all day is stopping spices so it burns your dozens of possible cus­ palate? Why has a good tomers from using the space. steak got to be peppered?

I see it day after day in the Why has good food got to be local parade of shops I visit in ruined by overdosing it with the Costa Blanca. Why on salt or pepper? Let's start a earth don't the shop owners campaign to stop ruining park away from the shopping good food with unnecessary street and walk a few yards, stuff. leaving the space free out­ Still with food, and the side? Shopkeeper:­Think of dramatic rise in the use yourself as a motorist and you see a shop you might like of food banks in Britain is to visit, but then can't find a manna from heaven for the place to park close by. What Labour party trying to per­ do you do? The chances are suade voters that the nasty you will just drive on. Tories and their benefit cuts Motorists are your lifeline, so have driven people to starva­ don't make it any harder to tion ­ forcing them to seek find a place to park than it free food. There's no doubt that during the recession already is. masses amounts of food Do you like good, plain, have been handed out to old fashioned food ­ i.e. people, but to try to pretend food which hasn't been that British folk are in the mucked about with? same dire straits as they are

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in some parts of the world is ridiculous. So why has there been such a rush to food banks in the UK? After all, British unemployment is below 8% unlike the 26% in Spain, and the welfare state safety net has a much finer mesh than here. Perhaps, Lord Norman Tebbit might have the answer? The Tory peer claimed in a Lords debate that the surge in demand for food banks was the result of "near infinite demand for anything which is free," and perhaps he has a point. Just look what hap­ pens when the stores hold their Boxing Day sales with people queuing for hours to grab the cut price bargains or the popularity of British chari­ ty shops which just don’t limit themselves to “poor” cus­ tomers. They are just as much a magnet for the middle classes, but, of course, they can always claim they are supporting charities by buy­ ing from them. The truth is that we all like to get some­ thing for nothing ­ like winning the lottery ­ or getting a bar­ gain. And Lord Tebbit hits another nail on the head when he points a finger at his fellow lordships, saying: "One can even notice it in the catering departments of this building. If food is given away at prices grossly below the markets, more is used." He claims that people are getting free food from food banks, saving money in the process, and then going to the shops and buying junk food. Well, I wouldn't go that far, but my take on it? There will always be people who, if you gave

them a gift of a few thousand pounds would blow the lot and be back for more. Others haven't got the first inkling of how to live within their means. Many who say they cannot make ends meet are spending their cash unwisely, perhaps on drink, gambling, drugs and fags and are keep­ ing pets, and then haven't got the money for necessities.

And sadly, too many people suffer from the problem of money burning a hole in their pockets ­ they just can't resist spending it!

q

Do you remember the days when dustmen were "real men" capable of picking up and carrying the heaviest of loads from a per­ son's gate to the dustcart, with any distance no object? They were of the same stamina as the coalman who picked up one hundredweight (20th of a ton) sack of coal on his back and carry it from the lorry to a coal chute. But clearly the dustmen are no longer real men ­ at least in Canterbury, Kent, where binmen have been banned from carrying rubbish bags (not dustbins) just 70 yards to their lorries.

Why? Health and safety of course! A council spokesman said: "Picking up bags and carrying them some distance down the road to wherever the dustcart can stop is not acceptable for the safety of the binmen." Not surprisingly there's a right row going on in the city, with residents asking how it is right for an elderly person to carry their bin bags to somewhere very close to a lorry pick­up point and not right for the bin men to do it.

Friday, March 28, 2014

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Friday, March 28, 2014

SAY IT IN SPANISH Learn the lingo - with a little help from JEANETTE ERATH Spanish 115 ¿Cómo estás? Espero que tú estés bien y disfrutando del español conmigo. Estoy aquí para guiarte, pero necesitas las ganas e ilusión para mejorar. Estarás aprendiendo siempre, porque siempre hay palabras nuevas para aprender. Pero, espero que por lo menos puedas mantener conversaciones básicas.

Es importante hablar, leer o escribir algo todos los días, si no, es más fácil empezar a olvidar, y has trabaja­ do mucho para obtener el nivel que tienes, no quieres perder nada.

Esta semana vamos a repasar algunos tiempos y gramática. Hazlo tranquilamente, y sin prisa. Hay una mezcla de tiempos y necesitas pensar para poner el cor­ recto.

Primero lo siguiente al español: Could you give me a little bit of parsley, please?, Mary is going to give you the money, We're not ready yet, I was with them, We like to run, I like those over there, I haven't done anything wrong, Are there classes today?, Have you read the magazine?, It's necessary to study, We have to go to Madrid, I am going s h o p ­ ping, I will go to London, I am going with you, I am going to go to the shop with you, you didn´t go, I would like to go to the movies with you, I will not be able to go to the cine­ ma, Can you help me?, I couldn´t hear

anything, Can you fix it?, Could you bring me a spoon?, Do you want to come with me?, Where do I put it?, I would like to make a reservation, We want something sweet, I would like something cheaper, I want to send this postcard, What is this?, Who is he?, That's too expensive, What size (clothing) is it?, Why did you put the towel there?, Where do I put it?, The boy needs a book, What do you need?, We need to read the book, You need to see your doctor, We would love to see it, Whom did you see?, No, I haven't seen it, I need to see your picture ID, We'll meet (see each other) tomorrow then, The plane leaves at 3 o'clock, What time do you leave work?, She sees the film, Can I see the menu?, Whom did you come to see?, Do you see that tower over there?, I wrote the letter this morning, It's necessary to write with capital letters, How do you write it?

Ahora tienes que rellener las espacios con la palabra correcta: Los zapatos son muy _________.(cómodas, cómod­ os), Las niñas son _________(ingleses, inglesas), No tenemos otras opciones más _________ (baratos, barata, baratas), Yo río _________ parar (sin, por, con, para), ¿Me traerás algo _________ comer? (durante, en, bajo, para), Él salió _________ decir adios (en, con, sin), ¡María! ¿Cómo estás? ¡Cuánto tiempo _________ verte! (sin, desde, de, con), Mi mochila está _________ sucia que la de Luis (mayor, menor, menos), ¿Cómo _________ …... en español? (dice uno, dice un, se dice), ¿Se _________ ir en autobús? (puedo, puede), Tim no hace _________ todo el día (nunca, nadie, nada), Nosotros hemos _________ frutas (hablado, comido, comió),

_________ estado muy amables (Han, Haya, Has, Ha), ¡Ya has _________ ! (llamagdo, llegado, legido, arrivado), ¿_________ hora es? (Cuál, Cuáles, Qué), ¿Con _________ hablo? (quiénes, qué, cuál, quién), _________ sueño. Necesito ir a la cama (Tengo, Estoy, Siento), Él _________ muchas veces por teléfono (hablo, hablar, habla), Ella _________ música (oyes, oyen, oye), ¿Dónde _________ el baño? (están, es, está).

Espero que entiendas estas secciones y no tengas ningún problema en completarlas. La semana que viene tendrás las respuestas.

Hasta entonces, ¡que tengas una buena semana!

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Friday, March 28, 2014

TEN TIPS TO HEALTHY EATING

Believe it or not, an effective healthy eat­ ing plan can help you lose more weight than even exercise. And the best part is that eat­ ing healthy is not all that difficult. You just have to follow a few simple rules to enjoy the varied benefits of health eating.

1.) Eat before you feel starved to avoid overeating.

As with fluids, if you only drink when you are thirsty then it is already too late. A handy tip is to drink a glass of water before you eat so that you don’t feel as hungry.

2.) Take small bites and chew your food properly before taking the next bite.

A great tip is to put your eating utensils down between each mouthful so that you don’t rush yourself. This will help you eat slower, allowing your stomach to fill up with­ out overeating.

3.) Eat with your stomach and not with your eyes.

Let your body tell you when you are full, not your brain, as it will always want more than is required.

4.) Chew your calories, don’t drink them.

Beverages can add a lot of extra calories to your diet, especially soda or carbonated drinks. Even fruit juice is not always the best option, so rather drink more water.

5.) Eat your breakfast as early as you can in the morning.

This will give an early kick start to your body's metabolism. But no matter what you do, do not skip breakfast. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day and a healthy breakfast ensures a healthy lifestyle.

Skipping your breakfast ruins your body's metabolism which can actually result in your body gaining more weight.

6.) Be sure to eat a variety of fruits and vegetables with each meal to ensure you are getting all the vitamins and minerals you need.

Greens are packed with calcium, magne­ sium, iron, potassium, zinc, vitamins A, C, E and K, and they help strengthen the blood and respiratory systems. Be adventurous with your greens and branch out beyond

Facial Paralysis

(Paralysis de Bell) or Bells Palsy

bright and dark green lettuce — kale, mustard greens, b r o c c o l i , Chinese cab­ bage are just a few of the options.

Naturally sweet vegeta­ bles add healthy sweet­ ness to your meals and reduce your crav­ ings for other sweets.

Some examples of sweet vegetables are corn, carrots, beets, sweet potatoes or yams, winter squash, and onions.

A wide variety of fruit is also vital to a healthy diet. Fruit provides fibre, vitamins and antioxidants. Berries are cancer­fight­ ing, apples provide fibre, oranges and man­ gos offer vitamin C, and so on.

7.) Eat more fish.

Aim for at least two portions of fish a week, including a portion of oily fish. You can choose from fresh, frozen or canned, but remember that canned and smoked fish can be high in salt.

8.) Remember that chicken isn't always a healthy choice.

Many fast­food chains offer fried breaded chicken sandwiches on white bread that are

actually richer in fat and calories than a burger.

Grilled chicken is a bet­ ter option.

9.) Cut down on saturated fat.

Try to cut down on food that is high in saturated fat and have foods that are rich in unsaturated fat instead, such as vegetable oils (including sunflower, rape­ seed and olive oil), oily fish, avocados, nuts and seeds.

10.) Minimize intake of the three unhealthy whites: sugar, salt and white flour.

All these three white products are bad for your health. Make it a point to reduce their intake as much as possible.

FREE HEALTH MAGAZINE DELIVERED TO YOUR DOORSTEP DR MACHI MANNU’S ADVICE CLINIC Email your questions and comments to contact@medb.es

Having fallen victim to this distressing and little understood problem I thought I would tell readers a little about the condition because it is more common then I realised and there is little real help out there for suf­ ferers. Because of my medical background and because I think I have researched every paper that has been written on it I am actu­ ally setting up a help line for sufferers as there seems to be very little support for what can be a life changing condition.

Sometimes the cause is totally unknown, in fact some people waken up and it has developed overnight whilst others like myself had a virus, often the shingles virus and have been exposed to a cold draught of the back of the neck. In some women it occurs in pregnancy or shortly after and can occur in children. It affects both men and women in fairly equal numbers. The onset is usually rapid and the result is a total or partial facial paralysis. The whole of the side of the affect­ ed side of the face droops from eyelid to chin. Most sufferers lose their ability to blink the eye, which for me has been the most troublesome thing, but it means that you are unable to smile, eat and in some cases speak properly.

Some people, especially if they have a viral infection, may feel very ill whilst others may just experience the paralysis. In the beginning it may be difficult to differentiate

Bells from a stroke and it must always have prompt medical attention as the treatment is vital for recovery.

Initial treatment would appear to be a high short term dose of steroid medication.

Specific B vitamins and in some cases an anti­viral medicine. Gentle massage is help­ ful and after this depending on what research paper you read there are a host of things that might be tried. I have probably tried them all in my desperate attempt to recover and whilst I do not consider myself to be an expert in the condition I have cer­ tainly travelled the bumpy road to recovery.

Ten months on I am still not fully recovered and am still receiving different treatments but was told initially that it would take at least a year for me to recover.

Prevention is best and beware open cars windows when driving and sitting directly under very cold air conditioning units and fans. Mine occurred at the end of May so the weather was warm at the time Bells is asso­ ciated with the draught rather than the cold.

If you or anyone you know is suffering from Bell’s Palsy and would like support or information please contact me as I have put together an information sheet and know that informed support can be really vital to aiding recovery.

Email simply18es@hotmail.com or text my mobile 667 817 546

Since the beginning of the economic recession, there has been an undeni­ able fall in the standard of healthcare. Even before the crisis occurred, the health­ care system in the EU was under severe strain, with no end to the growing list of people waiting for medical investigations or surgeries.

However things are much worse now. Many have noticed a change in their prescription drugs, to brands made abroad where their quality is usually not as strictly monitored as over here.

In addition healthcare facilities have been experiencing severe cuts in their budget, result­ ing in staff being laid off, and a lack of funds to pur­ chase healthcare equip­ ment. A number of factors can be blamed for the declining quality of health­ care, however many health­ care professionals have observed that the emphasis on treating diseases, rather than preventing them is costly and inefficient. Over 80% of diseases can be easily prevented through proper nutrition and healthy lifestyle choices.

Furthermore, there seems to be a censorship on health information that demonstrates the healing powers of alternative med­ ical therapies as well as the deadly side­effects of com­ monly prescribed drugs.

To compound matters, there is so much contradic­ tory information especially from the media, regarding other healing methods.

Today, vitamin E is announced to prevent heart disease, and the very next day you may read that it causes cancer. But what you are never told is that there is no single sub­ stance called Vitamin E, and that what we all know of as Vitamin E is actually 8 different substances, some good for you, and some really bad for you. For these reasons and more, we have decided to publish MedB health magazine, to clarify a lot of the confusion surrounding healthcare.

MedB Health, will be a 20 page full colour, bi­monthly magazine, packed with cut­ ting edge medical and healthcare information.

The first edition will be launched in April and will be

available in newsstands.

However we understand that most people may not be able to get hold of a copy, and have decided to deliver the magazine direct­ ly to doorsteps free of charge. We need at least 500 addresses to make this project economically viable.

MedB will be free of annoy­ ing ads, but will feature the therapies that we have used very successfully to treat chronic diseases. As importers of high quality supplements into Spain, we will ensure that you receive the best quality products at the best price. If you want a copy of MEDB HEALTH MAGAZINE delivered to your doorstep, please send – your name, address, email and telephone num­ ber to : MedB magazine ­ 1161 Punta Marina, Punta Prima, Los altos, 03185 – Alicante, Spain. You can also email your details to: mag@medb.es.

Those from United Kingdom and Ireland can also send their details.

FOR FULL BODY DIAG­ NOSTIC SCAN CALL DR MACHI MANNU: 965071745

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Friday, March 28, 2014

Nasty microbe takes advantage I’ve had chest pain in the past several months, and Q I also suffer from breathlessness, especially when I walk up­hill. I have received several courses of antibi­ otics from my doctor, and these have helped for a while, but my symptoms keep returning. I’ve been told it’s a chest infection, but I have also noticed an irregularity with my heart beat. Please let me know your opinion.

The problem you describe can be caused by a number of factors; however, based on my experience with diag­ nostic scans, they are most likely due to problems related to your lungs or heart or both organs. The problem is normally caused by a microbe that is described as ‘opportunistic’ because it takes advantage of a weakened or dysfunctional immune system to invade the body. These micro­organisms include E. coli, Streptococcus, Staphylococcus, enterococ­ cus, candida, etc., and they are found all around us, in the food we eat, the air we breathe, even on the surface of the skin. However they cannot gain entry into the body until our immunity becomes compromised. Our usual defence against such bugs is our immune system which includes white blood cells that directly fight such bugs by engulfing them, and antibodies which are like chemicals specifically designed to neutralize deadly bugs. When our immune defences are weakened, these deadly bugs get a chance to invade our tissues and organs. But the extent of colonization by opportunistic microbes depends on the strength of one’s immunity. From my experience with full body scans, most people have a lowered immunity due to low grade inflamma­ tion of their immune organs like the thymus gland. Normally such people are able to carry on without any health issues until something tips them over. This could be some problem from inside the body, or some external factor such as stress, exposure to cold or even medications. Opportunistic microbes usually enter the body through the mouth and then spread through the gastro­intestinal tract – the stomach, duodenum, large intestine, gall bladder and liver. The respi­ ratory tract is another entry point for these microbes. From

A

here microbes such as candida can invade the pleura­ lung covering – and cause breathlessness. From the lungs, microbes can spread to other parts of the body, especially to organs in close proximity to it such as the heart. On a num­ ber of occasions, I have detected active staphylococcus aureus as well as streptococcus inside the chambers of the heart, but in medical literature this is a rare occurrence, only seen when people show symptoms of Rheumatic Heart Disease. Antibiotics worsen infections due to opportunistic microbes as they cannot tell them apart from white blood cells which your body needs to fight off harmful bugs. So after a course of antibiotics, your symptoms may ease off, but for a short while and then returns even much worse than before. In fact it is now known that after a course of antibi­ otics, the opportunistic microbes that re­colonises the body put up a stronger resistance against the next course of antibiotics. To break this cycle I use a natural powerful antibi­ otic – Colostrum. Colostrum was widely used in the days before antibiotics were discovered. It contains antiviral, anti­ bacterial and antifungal agents, and is also rich in several kinds of antibodies and healing proteins. These Antibodies offer the body additional protection against future infection while the healing proteins in the form of growth factors help heal and repair the damage done by deadly microbes.

Colostrum also contains special proteins that stimulate the immune system. Colostrum is available from MedB health Shop. Call 965071745 If you smoke and drink, do not give up on your health, here is what to do The tendency for most smokers is to completely neglect their health in a fatalistic ‘he that is down needs fear no fall’ kind of attitude. Every adult knows that smoking or drinking excessively is detrimental to health. Smoking in particular has been associated with negative health consequences for the longest time and yet this hasn’t deterred people from doing so. And even though cigarettes have been linked to a

number of chronic health issues, there really is no way of knowing who will develop these health issues, and who wouldn’t. I know people who have smoked all their lives and are absolutely healthy and others who have never done so, and struggle to be healthy. Not long ago, a woman of 77 came to me for a routine scan. She was in good health, but wanted to know if she could do more to improve things since she smoked a pack of cigarette a day, and had been doing so since she was 15. What’s interesting is that the scan result confirmed that her systems and organs were in a good state and even more interesting was the fact that she had very little contaminants or toxins present in her organs. Of course her case is unusual as the scan results of most smokers show high levels of toxins. And the main danger from alcohol and cigarettes is the build­up of these toxins which are mainly heavy metals, such as lead, mercury and cadmium, as well as mycotoxins, pesticides and fungicides.

Alcohol is broken down in the liver to Aldehyde, the com­ pound responsible for the addictive and harmful effects of alcohol. This aldehyde is further converted to acetate, which is in turn converted to fatty acids that cause the alcoholic dis­ ease­ fatty liver. Cigarette smoking introduces up to 4000 dif­ ferent toxic substances into the body, and many of these cause cancer. Cigarette smoking also leaches nutrients especially Vitamin C from the body. Therefore smokers and people who drink alcohol regularly need to eliminate these toxins from their systems. This can be done with Pectasol – one of the most effective detox agents available today.

Pectasol is the only substance taken by mouth that binds to toxins and heavy metals without affecting other nutrients in the body. Clinical studies have shown up to a 500% increase in the excretion of some of the toxins. Pectasol brings about a total body cleanse. Pectasol is a patented product and isn’t available from pharmacy stores and health food shops.

However you can get it from MedB Health shop at the spe­ cial price of 83.98 Euros for 112 grams. Call 965071745 to order by telephone. Delivery is free.

Friday, March 28, 2014

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Friday, March 28, 2014

Focus on

LA MARINA

Flying High with Falken Tours Falken Tours have been making holiday dreams a reality since 1997. With offices situated off La Zenia roundabout and near the Lidl Supermarket in La Marina, Falken Tours can whisk you away to a plethora of fabulous holiday destinations, situated in all four corners of the globe. Whether simply booking flights, printing boarding passes or searching for the family holiday of a lifetime, Falken Tours is your number one choice, offering a client­orientated, personalised service that you will never receive from an on­line booking. Business Owner, Olaf Falkinowski has a wealth of experience in the travel industry, and is an expert in pairing clients with the perfect holiday package. Falken Tours specialise in luxurious cruise packages, and are currently pro­ moting their high­end world cruises, offering 98 or 120 days of super­ star treatment. Meanwhile, those wishing to holiday on a budget can still enjoy the cruise line experience, by reserving a week­long Mediterranean tour at very competitive rates. For further information or to arrange an appointment please call 966 730 151 or 966 790 004. Alternatively log onto the website www.falkentours.co.uk.

Protect Your Smile with Ruver Dental Clinic The Ruver Dental Clinic in La Marina Village was opened approximately one year ago by Spanish Dental Surgeon Dr Rufina Parres Garcia. The Dental Clinic has new modern facilities and specialise in children’s and teenagers dentistry, including fillings, providing braces, and carrying out X­rays when required. Staff in the clinic speak 5 different languages and provide a friendly relaxed atmosphere for anxious clients who may have some fears when attending a Dentist. The Clinic has a large international clientele who are extremely happy with the service they receive. Ruver Dental Clinic is very easy to find with easy off street parking available. The Clinic provides a 24 hour emergency service which is avail­ able during week­ends and Fiestas. Ruver Dental Clinic is open Monday to Friday from 09.30am to 8pm and the first Review Appointment is absolutely Free! For further informa­ tion and advice Telephone 965 419 527.

Willem Cars for an unbeatable deal Willem Cars is a long­established second­hand car busi­ ness with over 35 years experience of trading on the Costa Blanca.

The cost of second­hand vehicles here in Spain can seem a bit of a shock compared to prices in the UK. But cars hold their value better here and with the drier warmer climate suffer far fewer problems with corrosion.

However, you want to be certain you are getting a good deal and the staff at Willem Cars pride themselves on being straight with their customers.. They stock a good range of vehicles, too ­ RHD and LHD models, petrol, diesel, manual and automatic.

Willem Cars also offer part exchange trade­ins, can organ­ ise insurance ­ and even an NIE number if required.

You’ll find them in La Marina Village or call them on 965 419 508. Website is www.willemcars.com and email info@willem­ cars.com.

Enjoy Some TLC At ATM Wellness Centre!

ATM Wellness Centre in La Marina Village is well worth a visit. There are 8 toning tables that are designed to tone your muscles and enhance your flexibility without corporal effort and are especially beneficial for people with arthritis. Many other beauty treatments are available including Anti Cellulite Treatments (Body Wrapping, Sauna Belts, and Vacu Trimmer), Facial Skincare, Permanent Make­Up, Waxing, French Manicure, Acrylic and Gel Nails, Chiropody and relaxing Aromatherapy Massages including Syogra, which is a unique massage experience with warm stones of Jade aligned along the spinal column. New Mesotherapy anti­wrinkle treatment now available. We also give Reiki treatments and courses. On sale in the Centre is a large selection of Professional Cosmetics and Forever Living products. The ATM Wellness Centre is open Monday to Friday 9am to 7pm. If you feel like pampering your­ self then pop along to the Centre and enjoy your preferred treat­ ment in a therapeutic relaxing atmosphere.

A SMART CHOICE FOR YOUR HOME

With a wealth of experience in Spanish Residential and Investment Property Sales, the multicultural team at Smart Properties has a unique understanding and knowledge of the local area thanks to their individual experiences acquired over many years. We can recognize and match our client's needs, providing the best the market has to offer in Spanish, English, Italian, French, German and Russian languages. Smart Properties are the professional agency you can trust to deliver the solu­ tion, outcome and assistance that will exceed your expectations.

Smart Properties offers a range of homes including apartments, villas, townhouses, fincas, new builds, land and rentals. Our properties are found in areas such as sea front, golf course and countryside locations, encompassed within the most sought after areas as Guardamar, La Marina, Ciudad Quesada, Orihuela Costa, Benijofar, Rojales, La Mata, Alicante, Algorfa and Torrevieja, all located in the Costa Blanca South region.

We can offer our clients a range of comprehensive services that will provide the peace of mind during the acquisition process including con­ veyancing, financial and legal services, insurance, off plan building serv­ ices and refurbishment, after sales and currency foreign exchange

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Friday, March 28, 2014

Focus on

LA MARINA

THE BEST BEEF AROUND Meat feast lovers are in for a treat at the Patagonia Steak House Argentinian Grill in La Marina and Quesada.

Argentinian Beef is second to none, with the country having very large flat lush green areas for the cattle to graze on which means they don’t have to walk miles for their feed, resulting in virtually fat­free tender tasty beef! Give one of these steaks a try, and of course they’ll be cooked to your requirements, along with a side­serving of chips or a baked potato.

Don’t forget the very popular "All You Can Eat Meat Feast" for 10 Euros, "featuring a mouth­watering mix of European meat, ribs, chorizo, black pudding and chicken, along with chips and baked potato. And of course, you can return for more at any time!

Book a table now by calling our La Marina restaurant on 965 992 144 or Quesada on 865 679 736

Sandra's got News 4 U Sandra the owner of News 4 U Shop based in La Marina Urb has been in Spain for just over 3 years. News 4 You is open 7 days a week, Monday to Saturday 8.00am to 5.30pm and 8.00am to 1pm on Sundays. News 4 U is even open on Red Days so you can still pick up your daily newspapers. In store there are 3 computers for Internet access with the facil­ ity to be able to print off boarding passes etc. News 4 U sell Newspapers and Magazines (English, German, Norwegian, French), Greeting Cards, Gift Wrap, Ink Cartridges, Cabin Bags and Eurodirect Cards. There is also a wide selection of Gifts, Helium Balloons, Sweets and Drinks. They stock unlocked Mobile Phones, Sim Cards and do Mobile Phone Top Ups. Also now in stock are refillable Electronic Cigarettes and E­liquids. News 4 U are agents for the UK postal system for letters and parcels. They provide a photocopying and lam­ inating service, and are also agents for the Free Blanket Factory Tours. Now in stock­Electronic Cigarettes plus Oils.

WHY NOT TRY SOMETHING DIFFERENT FOR MOTHER’S DAY…. OR ANY DAY!

Rivingtons is situated in a fabulous location on the edge of the forest and at the start of the boardwalk leading down to the beautiful Playa Del Rebollo in Guardamar Del Segura. It’s an ideal place to visit with friends and family.

The atmosphere is friendly, fresh and innovative, and Rivingtons serve modern cuisine at reasonable prices all day long and into the evening. Enjoy a coffee or a cocktail within our white walled terrace, sample our homemade produce including scones, cakes and cosmopolitan tapas dishes, or choose from our extensive Al­a­Carte or menu of the day.

Sunday 30th March is our next monthly afternoon tea with an extra special “champagne” theme from 2.00 p.m. for all those unique mothers to enjoy an unforgettable treat. So if you are unable to take your mother, wife or partner to the Ritz we think we can offer the next best thing………….If you can’t make this one then why not try our April G&Tea! where our scrumptious afternoon tea is accompanied by a gin tasting session!

For further details and opening times visit our web­ site www.rivingtonscafe.com to book telephone 966 727 748, or email us at rivingtons@rivingtonscafe.com

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Friday, March 28, 2014

TREAT YA MUMMA RHUBARB & LEMON CURD CAKE Ingredients

225g unsalted butter, softened, plus extra for the tin 225g caster sugar zest 1 lemon 4 medium eggs at room temperature, beaten 75g ground almonds 200g self­raising flour 140g forced rhubarb, washed and cut into small chunks 1 tbsp demerara sugar For the topping 75ml double cream 3 tbsp lemon curd, plus extra for drizzling

Method

1. Heat oven to 180C/160C fan/gas 4. Lightly butter a deep, round 20cm cake tin and line the base with a circle of non­ stick baking parchment.

2. Place the butter in a large bowl and beat with an electric

whisk until light and fluffy, then add the caster sugar and lemon zest and beat again. Gradually add the eggs to the mixture, beating well with each addition, until fully combined.

The mixture will begin to look glossy – if at any stage the mix­ ture curdles, beat in a spoonful of ground almonds and con­ tinue to add the egg until it is all amalgamated.

3. Stir in the ground almonds, then the flour, and fold every­

thing carefully together using a large spoon. Fold through half the rhubarb, then transfer the mixture into the prepared cake tin and scatter with the remaining rhubarb. Finish with the demerara sugar sprinkled on top. Bake the cake for 45 mins, or until a skewer inserted into the middle comes out clean. Transfer to a wire rack to cool slightly in the tin, then remove from the tin. When the cake is cold, make the top­ ping.

4. Whip the cream in a large bowl until it forms soft peaks. In a small bowl, loosen the lemon curd with about 1 tbsp water and carefully fold it through the cream, without overworking.

Spread over the cake, drizzle with a little more lemon curd and serve immediately.

MALT CHOCOLATE CHEESECAKE Ingredients 200g malted milk biscuits, crushed to crumbs 100g salted butter, melted

Friday, March 28, 2014 5 tbsp caster sugar 2 x 300g tubs full fat soft cheese (we used

Philadelphia; if you use soft or cream cheese from a deli counter the cheesecake might not set) 300ml pot double cream 300g white chocolate, melted 200g bar milk chocolate, melt­ ed 2 tbsp malt or Horlicks powder 37g bag white Maltesers

Method

1. Line base and sides of a deep, 22­23cm loose­bot­ tomed round tin with baking parchment. Mix the biscuits, melted butter and 2 tbsp of the sugar, then press into base.

Chill while you make the filling.

2. Divide cream cheese and cream evenly between 2 bowls. Add the white chocolate to one, and the milk chocolate,

malt and remaining 3 tbsp sugar to the other.

Beat each with an electric whisk until smooth.

3. Spread the milk chocolate mixture evenly in the tin. Wipe round the edge to give a smooth edge. Spoon the white chocolate mix over the top and gently smooth.

Decorate with Maltesers and chill for at least 5 hrs until firm.

4. Carefully run a palette knife around the edge of the cake to loosen it, then put on a serving plate. Spread the ganache over the top, and leave to set before serving.

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Friday, March 28, 2014

SPANISH NEWS

DRUGS FOR GUN CLAIM A Guardia Civil officer has been freed on bail over charges that she had given a drug dealer a gun in exchange for a Class A drug.

The National Police made the discovery when arresting the dealer outside a bar in the north­eastern Spanish city of Huesca. The local pusher, who told police he felt "safer" with the weapon, was in the process of threatening some­ one with the handgun when he was arrest­ ed. When checking the serial number on the piece, it was revealed it belonged to a local Guardia Civil officer. Alhough the dealer told police the officer had given it to him in return for 150 grams of speed, she

argued she "hadn't even noticed it had gone missing" as it wasn't her service revolver. A local judge freed both suspects on bail, despite charging the dealer with charges of illegal possession of weapons and the officer as a collaborator in the offence.

CUP RUNNETH OVER

Spain became the world’s top wine pro­ ducer last year thanks to a soggy spring and sunny summer. Official international figures will not be announced until May, but the Spanish government said that wine produc­ tion surged 41% last year, with vineyards producing 50m hectolitres – enough to fill 6.7bn bottles of wine. That means that Spain beat their nearest competitors France and Italy, who reported harvest of 42m and 47m hectolitres respectively. Ángel Ortega, who represents wine­grow­ ers from La Mancha denomination, attrib­ uted the bumper year to unusual weather conditions: "It's not often that you see all the right climate conditions come together like that."

More than half of last year's harvest came from Castilla­La Mancha, the region that houses La Mancha among other denomina­

DIGNITY DEMO TURNS DIRTY

tions of wine. Others in Spain's wine indus­ try, such as Pau Roca of the Spanish Wine Federation, said it was just a matter of time before Spain surpassed its competitors. "It has the largest planted surface of vineyards in the world. The potential was always there," he said.

The Madrid government welcomed the news, as it highlighted another industry on which the country can lean on to bolster its fragile economic recovery.

Winemakers were a bit more reluctant.

The enormous quantity of wine yielded – about 15m hectolitres more than last year – has left many worried about how they will be able to sell it all, said Ortega: "There's a good side and bad side. To have more pro­ duction means it's always a bit more difficult to sell. The good part is that our competitors didn't have an especially good year."

Violence broke out at the end of an anti­ austerity protest attended by tens of thou­ sands of people in Madrid last Saturday.

Dozens of youths threw projectiles at police, who responded by charging at them, with one protestor having one of his testicles hit by a rubber bullet Doctors at the Gregorio Marañon hospital removed his left testicle and the man called Gabriel told reporters that his remaining right gonad was "dam­ aged and painful". He said that he was con­ cerned about the effect on his fertility "because I'm young and want to have chil­ dren one day."

The protestors were angry over issues including unemployment, poverty and official corruption, and called on the government not to pay its international debts and do more to improve health and education.

Earlier in the day, eight groups had con­ verged on the capital ­­ carrying flags from

Andalucia in the south, Catalonia in the east, or the Asturias in the northwest ­­ at the cul­ mination of nearly a month of walking for some of the protesters. The organisers hired hundreds of buses and at least four trains to transport protesters on Saturday, while the government deployed around 1,700 police.

By the early afternoon, the columns had formed at entry points around the perimeter of Madrid. A sea of placards emerged, call­ ing for "fair pensions" or "the right to a roof".

At the head of a group from the southeast was a mock guillotine with the words "No to spending cuts" written across the top.

They called their protest the “march of dig­ nity” because they claim that the govern­ ment of Mariano Rajoy is stripping Spaniards of just that. For many of them, the cutbacks that Mr Rajoy has implemented, in particular to health and education, are caus­ ing Spain irreparable damage.

ADIOS BABY

The state of Spain’s economy has caused over 600 thousand Spaniards to quit the country. The figures from Spain's National Statistics Institute also show Spain's foreign popu­ lation shot up by 6% in 2013. This means there were 2, 058,048 Spaniards living overseas on January 1st 2014, or 126,000 more than on the same date a year earlier.

Some 34% of those who have left Spain in the past 5

years are native­born Spaniards, while just under 60% of the Spanish citizens living overseas were born in the country they are now liv­

ing in. Over 60% of those who have moved from Spain are aged from 16 to 64.

The figures show that the majority of Spanish­ born emigrants have cho­ sen to remain in Europe, while most people born overseas have moved to the Americas.

Over 200,000 native­born Spaniards are now living in France, while 122,218 peo­ ple have found a home in Germany, the stats show.

Friday, March 28, 2014

SPANISH NEWS

29

SPAIN MOURNS SUAREZ Spain's ex­PM Adolfo Suarez, who guided the nation through the turbulent years following the death of fascist dictator Francisco Franco, has died at 81. Mr Suarez was taken to hospital last week suffering from a respiratory infection.

King Juan Carlos turned to him upon Franco's death in 1975 to try to unite Spain's disparate political factions. Mr Suarez served as prime minister until 1981 and became one of the coun­ try's most respected politicians. He had been suffering from Alzheimer's disease for about a decade, and died on Sunday afternoon at Madrid's Centro Clinic hospital, with three days of national mourning declared.

Thousands of people flocked to the parliament building to pay their respects to Suarez, with onlookers applauding as eight soldiers wearing white gloves carried his flag­draped coffin into the parliament building where in 1981 Suarez stared down an armed coup attempt. Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy and his three predecessors ­­ Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero,

Jose Maria Aznar and Felipe Gonzalez ­­ stood at the entrance to the parliament building as the coffin arrived.

Juan Carlos paid tribute, calling Mr Suarez an exceptional colleague and a true friend. In a televised message, the king

said Mr Suarez had been "guided at every turn by his loyalty to the crown and all that it repre­ sents, the defence of democracy, the rule of law, unity and the diversity of Spain".

Mr Suarez's son, Adolfo Suarez Illana, praised both his father's and the king's role in the post­ Franco period.

He said: "Thanks to the king, he was head of government. Thanks to the king, he was able to do what he liked at a unique moment in the his­ tory of Spain. Together, they changed the course of history."

Mr Suarez was a relatively unknown Francoist official in 1975, and faced criticism by both the left and right following his appointment by the king. But in 1977 Mr Suarez contested and won Spain's first democratic elections since World War Two. He moved to legalise political parties, including the com­ munists, and oversaw the formation of a constitution that was adopted in 1978.

MAYOR COPS CHARGES DON’T BE A DRIP

A Spanish Mayor appeared in front of a judge on Tuesday to answer multiple charges of harassing a local policeman.

Manuel Meléndez, mayor of El Pedroso in the province of Seville, is accused of lowering the officer’s salary; taking away his firearm; shouting at him; and making him wash his car. The policeman, known as J.M.P., claims that the mayor's campaign against his 'moral integrity' dates back to 2008. He filed charges in 2013 but the case was dropped.

The policeman and public prosecutors have appealed, citing a complete absence of any investigation into the alleged incidents.

The public prosecutors said that "the individ­

ual acts, taken in isola­ tion, could be considered trivial but together, because of their repeated nature and other sur­ rounding circumstances," could lead to, "the appli­ cation of the law relating to degrading treatment and serious damage to moral integrity."

Prosecutors also said that the mayor "tried to intimidate [the policeman] on numerous occasions by opening disciplinary proceed­ ings against him" and making him work with­ out rest breaks. When the case was original­ ly brought in 2013, the mayor replied to the prosecutor in a press release which stated that it was "a waste of time and taxpayer's money" and that in 2008 he did not own a car, or even possess a driver's licence.

The parents of a 9 year old boy have been arrested and accused of whipping him after he got some bad school grades.

Police swooped after teachers at the boy’s school in the town of Santa Coloma de Gramenet in Catalonia called them after he complained in class about the pain he was suffering.

When doctors examined the nine­year­ old, they discovered his body was covered

in bruises and wounds, Catalan daily La Vanguardia reported. The young boy told Catalonia’s Mossos d’Esquadra police his parents had whipped him on numerous occasions using either a belt or a tree branch. The beatings were usually the result of his poor grades, the boy said.

A judge has now imposed a restraining order on his parents, who also face charges.

The boy is currently living with a relative.

WHIPPING BOY

Dripping taps are proving to be very expensive and experts say that just one in every Spanish home would mean that 450 million litres of water a day would literally go down the drain – enough to fill an entire foot­ ball stadium in less than 18 days.

In a report from a Spanish plumbing chain, they say that a typical burst pipe costs around 240 euros to repair, and the trace and access and rectifying any damage caused in this process – broken tiles or holes in walls – are normally covered by buildings insurance policies, although those underwrit­ ten by Spanish firms often include the actual pipe repair costs, such as soldering or fitting metal bands, or replacing a section of the pipe itself.

Leaks can be very costly in Spain, since

all water is metered – a small leak in a cis­ tern can lead to up to 2,000 litres of water a year, but are more difficult to see than a drip­ ping tap.

Plumbers advise to turn off the stopcocks to the house and see if the meter continues to turn, or in the case of a toilet, pour coloured liquid into the cistern and, if this then appears inside the toilet bowl, a leak needs to be fixed. They say stopcocks should be turned off when a leak is detected and pipes and joints in washing machine and dishwasher hoses checked annually.

Unless certain expensive brands of taps are purchased from plumbers' merchants, it is nearly impossible to buy new tap parts, even washers ­ therefore a broken one will almost always mean a new one.

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Friday, March 28, 2014

TOO LATE TO SAVE

After a recent good run of rescues, includ­ ing the high­profile rehousing from a Callosa farm, it wasn’t such good news for a Torrevieja horse, despite the best efforts of the Easy Horse Care Rescue Centre in Rojales. Charity founders, Sue and Rod Weeding were called in by the police over the plight of a horse in a walled yard.

Sue and Rod raced to the premises to be met by Guardia Civil Seprona officers, and had the sad sight of a young horse close to death lying prostrate on the ground. The ani­ mal was clearly severely malnourished and dehydrated, and they gave him some water, before the vet, Dorothea, could get there.

“Sadly Dorothea confirmed our worst fears

that he was beyond further help”, said Sue Weeding. “The police officers gave Dorothea permission to put him to sleep. Further investigation revealed the other equines being kept there, two horses, two ponies a donkey and a mule. One of the horses is in desperate need of help and we are on stand­ by to get it out when the police call us. The other five equines there, are in reasonable condition and we’ve been told that they all have different owners. The Guardia are actively trying to find them and also the owner of the premises, all believed to be gypsies, to find a solution for these creatures and to get the place closed down once and for all.”

PINK SHOWS SOME SOUL

Maria and the Pink Ladies were back to show some love of great soul and Motown clas­ sics, whilst fund­raising for the AECC Contra El Cancer charity. The fun night, staged at Breakaways Bar in Tiro de Pichon, saw another 730 Euros gathered to add to the coffers, with the entertainment led by the Soul Power band.

RAISING A GLASS

RAFA’S DECADE

The San Pedro del Pinatar community group, ADAPT, linked up with workers at the Eroski supermarket in San Javier for a day learning all about wine. They popped along to the Bodegas Serrano between Torre Pacheco and Cartagena to learn all about wine production as well as having some choice sampling! They learned that the harvest takes place during July, with many tonnes of grapes being cleaned, de­

twigged and crushed, before entering the stainless steel fermentation tanks.

Fermentation takes around between 15 to 20 days, and can be slowed down or increased, dependent upon the required alcohol level of the wine being processed.

Small though the bottling plant is, it han­ dles some 800 bottles an hour, with good old fashioned cork being used with no metal bottle tops in sight!.

Bargains galore will be up sale, as well as plenty to nibble at in Torrevieja Christian Fellowship’s Easter Fayre a week tomorrow(Saturday April 5th). It’ll be staged at their headquarters on Avda Cortes de las Valencianas 68, Torrevieja

between 2pm and 4pm. There’ll be items to suit all tastes including handmade Easter cards and other crafts, jewellery, hand­knitted scarves and children's cardi­ gans, home­cooked scones as well as cakes and jams.

Good fayre for Easter

The Costa Blanca Branch of the Royal Air Forces Association celebrated their 10th anniversary with a special dinner last weekend at the La Laguna Hotel in Dona Pepa 2, Rojales. Guests of Honour included the RAFA European Director, Simon Martin with his wife Janet, and

Bob Hunt MBE, the RAFA European Area Chairman and his wife Margaret.

Pictured are the five founder members with from left to right, Don Cole (cutting the cake), Noel Cork MBE, Colin Broad, Philip Haward MBE and Malcolm Bingham.

The pirates of petanca

Petanca players of all shapes and sizes of all nationalities are wanted by the Los Montesinos Pirates Petanca Club to get involved in an international mixed triple com­ petition on Sunday April 6th. Top cash prizes and trophies will be awarded to the winners at the event which will be staged at Torrevieja’s Villa Salada Restaurant. Entry registration will close at 9.30am, ahead of a 10.00am start, and all entries can be E­mailed with full names of entrants, along with the nominated country and a contact phone number to piratespetanca@gmail.com

Friday, March 28, 2014

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Friday, March 28, 2014

Horoscopes Aries March 21 ­ April 19 Memories welling up today could trigger a desire to get in touch with old friends, Aries, or relatives you haven't seen in a long time. Some of these recollections could be bittersweet, bringing pain expe­ rienced in the past to the surface once more. Don't hang on to these ancient grievances. Work them out in your mind and then let them go. You might experi­ ence a deep­seated relief.

Taurus April 20 ­ May 20 Business­oriented social events could take up a lot of your time today, Taurus. You could either be planning or attending them. If the latter, however, it could well be more than one. You're feeling especially outgoing at this time, so you should make a good impression and possibly even make a few new friends. However, it's also important to remember to take some time for yourself.

Gemini May 21 ­ June 20 Your innate charm and good manners have brought you good relationships with both co­workers and superiors, and today you might find that this has served you well, Gemini. Authority figures may seem a little intimidating, but hang on to your self­ confidence. Hard work and dedication have also brought you some corporate kudos.

Cancer June 21 ­ July 22 Work on your own projects may be very much on your mind today, Cancer. They could involve studies of some kind or the arts. It's possible that you may be consid­ ering innovative ways of earning extra money. All signs indicate that any enter­ prise begun or continued today is likely to succeed, so go to it. However, it's impor­ tant to give whatever you're working on a lot of thought before presenting it to others.

By Pandora Leo July 23 ­ August 22 Long­term investments, especially those involving real estate, could pay off now, Leo. If you've been thinking of buying or selling a home, this is the time to do it. All signs indicate that your patience is likely to bear fruit, so at least one of your longtime goals should bring success right now. Also, if you've been considering investing some money in your house, such as remodeling or building an addition, start planning today.

Virgo August 23 ­ September 22 Kicking ideas around with colleagues today could lead to planning social events and bringing important people together in order to ensure cooperation on ambitious projects. You might find yourself in a num­ ber of meetings, Virgo, or spending con­ siderable time on the phone. Your mind is especially business oriented today, so you'll be operating very efficiently.

Libra September 23 ­ October 22 A lot of paperwork, perhaps involving con­ tracts, could lead to financial gain on the job, Libra. You could make or save some money for your employer, which could prove impor­ tant. Expect some sort of acknowledgement or recognition for your efforts from superiors, which could lead to advancement or a pos­ sible raise. However, there may be some delay with regard to the latter.

Scorpio October 23 ­ November 21 Today you might want to put your innate busi­ ness sense into making a success of a pet project of your own. This is a good idea, Scorpio, because all signs indicate that what­ ever you begin today, whether it's for your employer or yourself, could well lead to suc­ cess. You could, however, find yourself spend­ ing a little more money than you would nor­ mally care to.

Sagittarius November 22 ­ December 21 New discoveries that capture your imagi­ nation could find you spending most of your day sequestered in your home and learning as much as you can. All indica­ tions are that you aren't going to want to do much else, Sagittarius, but it's impor­ tant to remember to take breaks and get a little exercise throughout the day. Moving the body and shaking out the kinks in your muscles can get your mind going as well.

Capricorn December 22 ­ January 19 You may have plans to get together with friends, and you're probably looking for­ ward to it. However, Capricorn, delays could get in the way, although you aren't likely to let them stop you. Your concen­ tration and perseverance are both higher than usual, so it isn't likely that you'll give up on anything you start today. Therefore, this is a good day to either begin or con­ tinue projects that mean a lot to you.

Aquarius January 20 ­ February 18 Your hard work on the job may appear to be finally paying off, Aquarius, as all signs indicate that a raise, promotion, or other form of advancement is coming your way.

Your ambition and concentration have led and will continue to lead to significant accomplishment, which isn't likely to escape the notice of those above you in the hierarchy. Draw satisfaction from your achievements and continue as you are.

Pisces February 19 ­ March 20 Studying in solitude may appeal to you today, Pisces. A new interest has captured your imagination, so you may decide to sequester yourself at home or in the library to learn about it. Your concentration is high, as is your perseverance, so anything you begin today is likely to succeed. The downside is that you might strain your eyes or give your­ self headaches trying to accomplish too much at once.

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Friday, March 28, 2014

RICHARD CAVENDER

Bluemoon Solutions www.bluemoonsolutions.es

BlueMoon Solutions is the computer and IT services com­ pany on the Costa Blanca, they provide quality computer services at realistic prices and specialise in working with home users and small businesses.

Richard moved to Spain seven years ago hav­ ing left his management background behind in the UK and decided to use his IT skills to help home users and small businesses with their PC problems. Now a relaxed 'computer man' he is out and about in the Spanish sun every day, making house and shop calls and using his vast experience and qualifications to (usually) sort out the problem there and then. Computers are his hobby as well as his work so don’t be surprised to get an answer to your email in the early hours!

SCAM - WATCH OUT: We are starting to receive confirmation of a new email scam making the rounds…

I have been told by a number of customers of a new email scam working its way around the world, it’s a particularly disturbing one and in my opinion it plumbs new depths of depravity by the scum that send this sort of thing out. Please be aware of it, tell all of your friends and neighbours and make sure that none of us fall for it.

The scam (copy below) attempts to get you to open an attachment by suggesting that your recent blood test results show you have cancer! I was initially made aware of it by a colleague in the UK who had given blood just a few days previously – a coinci­ dence that almost led to him opening the attachment. Thankfully he quickly figured out that he would not have been informed such a thing by email and he didn’t open it – had he done, he would have been subject to an attempted infection.

Here is what he received…

We have been sent a sample of your blood analysis for further research.

During the complete blood count (CBC) we have revealed that white blood cells is very low, and unfortunately we have a suspicion of a cancer.

White Blood cells

1200 Low

ADVICE: Pam wanted to know how to protect her Hotmail account.

Hi Richard ­ being old and female, I'm afraid technology is hard for me! I read the mail from Trevor this week, but don't understand when you say "you can add this security to your account".

How does one do this? I do keep a record of my passwords, coded of course, but, like Trevor, would not be able to remember details of messages sent etc. So please can you explain how I add this security to my account?

Thanks Oldie Pam

Q

Hi Pam, in terms of Hotmail, you can do the following (once you have successfully logged Platelets 19000 Low onto your account)…

1. Click your profile name (top right of We suggest you to print out your CBC test results and interpretations in attachment the screen) 2. Click account settings below and visit your family doctor as soon as possible 3. Click security info and answer the relevant security question to prove you are who you say Sincerely, you are.

Dr.Pitts Clare 4. From the security info screen you can add or update your recovery information (phone numbers, alternative email addresses etc.) ….it makes scary reading at face value doesn’t it?

Please spread the word – I would hate to hear of anyone being conned by this scam. …hope that helps?

Haemoglobin

12 Normal

A

ADVICE: Karl wanted to get a Norwegian IP address.

Don’t forget you can follow me on twitter @bluemoonspain Alternately why don’t you sign up for my newsletter. You can do this by going to:­ www.bluemoonsolutions.es and fill in the form that is on any page except the front page.

Hi Richard, I am Karl, I was recently in Norway, bought I­ TV, and on this, it’s an app called: Netflix, where we can see all of films series etc., for a small amount of money. But, when I connect­ ed it here, Spain does not accept this app. Do you know if there is something to do/Spanish apps to download?

My son says you have to change IP address, to step by the system, I don’t know ­ can you help? Any idea? Karl

Q

Hi Karl, I’m not familiar with an I­TV, but I suspect that your problem is that you need to have a Norwegian IP address in order for it to work. I’ve done a bit of research for you and you might find the following link of use…. http://www.ipaddressguide.org/best­way­to­get­a­norwegian­ip­address/

A

office@bluemoonsolutions.es www.bluemoonsolutions.es Mobile: 655 044 970

Office: 902 906 200

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Friday, March 28, 2014

Combustion cars - a thing of the past?

Last week Paris took the drastic measure of banning half of the city’s cars for the day in a bid to help reduce pollution levels in the city – something it hasn’t done since the last major dip in city air quality back in 1997.

City official’s proclaimed that the French capital’s lev­ els of small particulate emis­ sions were rivalling that of Beijing – one of the most polluted cities in the world – following five windless, warm days and cool nights which encouraged pollution levels to build.

Dirty problem solved While banning half the cars in the city might seem a drastic measure, it is pre­ dicted that we’ll be seeing

more and more of this as cities around the world becomes more responsive to spells of particularly poor air quality caused, at least in part, by the use of conven­ tionally fuelled cars.

Growing awareness among the public of the effect of air pollution, tighter regulation but also as better assessment and communi­ cation of pollution spells will result in fossil­fuelled slowly being edged out of cities.

In fact, the EU is already planning its way there; its Roadmap to a Single European Transport Area white paper published in 2011 even proposes ban­ ning conventionally fuelled cars from European cities

entirely by 2050.

EU legislation already requires cities to limit the number of days in which they fall foul of acceptable limits for nitrogen oxides emission levels. As a result, major cities around the European bloc already have a major incentive to act when pollution levels rise, in order to avoid heavy EU fines. This could result in more occasional car bans.

Paris is far from the only city to consider pushing pri­ vate cars out beyond its boundaries; similar and more drastic responses have been considered by other cities too.

In Hamburg, for example, it even plans to ban private cars altogether from 2034.

Germany’s second­largest city has been working hard in recent years to make its streets more pedestrian and cycle­friendly in preparation for the switch away from cars; and it is already start­ ing to work, with cycling rates already on the up.

Encouraging alternatives The Danish capital Copenhagen is another city making a more permanent move away from private cars, as it improves cycling infrastructure with special cycling superhighways.

In preparation for the Beijing Olympics too, the Chinese government also introduced restrictions of cars in the city to reduce pol­ lution in the city. Thanks to some heavy rain, coupled with the temporary closure of some factories, air quality did improve in time for the Games.

There have been some criticisms of alternating car bans based on licence plate numbers like the one in Paris. Anecdotal evidence from other cities such as Mexico City and in Beijing ­ the latter of which still sports

a one­day car ban since it was introduced during the Olympics – shows that motorists get round the issue of car bans by buying old, inefficient second­cars to allow them to access the city on all days.

In truth, it is hard to say whether Paris’s one­day car ban had much of an impact or if the ban was lifted for

the next day purely because a change in weather condi­ tions had alone eased the issues.

But nonetheless, meas­ ures to tackle transport­gen­ erated pollution will become more prevalent around the world including low emis­ sion zones, congestion charging as well as tempo­ rary car bans, and as they

do we should see this become a major driving force behind a take­off of electric car sales, as motorists look to dodge charges by going zero emis­ sions.

It will be a long process, but it is thought that it is inevitable that the future of our cities will be combus­ tion­car free.

Friday, March 28, 2014

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Friday, March 28, 2014

CODE CRACKER Code Cracker is a crossword puzzle with no clues; instead, every letter of the alphabet has been replaced by a number, the same number representing the same letter throughout the puzzle. All you have to do is decide which letter is represented by which number. In this week’s puzzle, 24 represents B and 18 represents W, when these letters have been entered throughout the puzzle, you should have enough information to start guessing words and discovering other letters.

QUICKIE

Across

Down

1 Made afraid (6) 4 Sour (6) 9 Italian rice dish (7) 10 Relating to the moon (5) 11 Additional (5) 12 Not anywhere (7) 13 Noisy ghost (11) 18 Incompetent (7) 20 Artificial (5) 22 Bear­like arboreal Australian marsupial (5) 23 Inactive (7) 24 Hammer with a large head (6) 25 Drink of the gods (6)

1 Sharp piercing cry (6) 2 Useful quality (5) 3 Remove (7) 5 Permit (5) 6 Own up (7) 7 County in the southwest of England (6) 8 Rural regions (11) 14 Taking everything into account (7) 15 Impose (7) 16 Nonsense (6) 17 Motley fool (6) 19 Elude (5) 21 To the lowest degree (5)

Last weeks Solution

Across: 1 Add, 3 Ceaseless, 8 Terms, 9 Shrivel, 10 The, 11 Coypu, 12 Serious, 3 Sacred, 15 Borsch, 19 Galileo, 21 Await, 23 Rat, 24 Show biz, 25 Image, 26 Obsession, 27 End. Down: 1 Attacks, 2 Dirty, 3 Costume, 4 Assess, 5 Error, 6 Envious, 7 Sells, 14 Callous, 16 Ovation, 17 Hothead, 18 Borzoi, 19 Gismo, 20 Lobes, 22 Awake.

Scribble Pad

DOUBLE CROSS-WORD Solve the Double Cross­Word puzzle using either the standard or cryptic clues, the answers are exactly the same.

CRYTPIC CLUES Across 1 Scot I’m casting in humorous television show (6) 4 Hold a famous admiral (6) 9 A bitter cocktail goes to a priest’s head (7) 10 I get a lift when there’s lots of people around me (5) 11 Get free from these rocks (4) 12 In a tight spot, ring a court official (7) 15 Possibly unseat a British author (6) 16 Princess’ poem is elec­ trically charged (6) 19 Mum uses wrong places for old things (7) 21 Get spice from pharma­ ceutical store (4) 24 She and Donna could be dangerous together (5) 25 Introduced mopeds I built (7) 26 Girl finding Henry in a tangle of trees (6) 27 Destined to be harshly criticised (6)

Down 1 Burn a bus, run amok, out of town (8) 2 Table birds’ flops (7) 3 Some loathsome swear­ word (4) 5 A hot pie I cooked in Africa (8) 6 It’s in the back or middle of the book (5) 7 Posh school returns brief communication (4) 8 Seaman in bed, a famous seaman (5) 13 About five, porter has time for a drink (8) 14 Came up as the century ended (8) 17 The group is late, but determined (4,3) 18 Liam, sweetheart, return my internet mes­ sage (5) 20 Liberal in complete group not getting illumina­ tion (5) 22 An instrument of love and honour (4) 23 Gem featured in shop alcove (4)

27 Criticised severely (6) STANDARD CLUES Down Across 1 Humorous television 1 Related to the outskirts of a city (8) drama (6) 4 Famous British admiral (6) 2 Domesticated fowls (7) 3 Vow (4) 9 Clergyman’s hat (7) 10 Device for heavy lifting 5 Formerly known as Abyssinia (8) (5) 6 Backbone (5) 11 Offshore ridge (4) 7 Detect and remember (4) 12 Medical examiner (7) 8 Italian­born explorer of the 15 English novelist (6) New World (5) 16 Semiconductors (6) 19 Depositories of ancient 13 Liquid refreshment (8) 14 Travelled up (8) artefacts (7) 21 Spice made from nutmeg 17 Fixed in your purpose (4,3) (4) 24 Italian word for beautiful 18 Electronic message (5) 20 Without illumination (5) (woman) (5) 22 Double­reed woodwind 25 Enforced (7) 26 Book of the Bible book instrument (4) 23 Gemstone (4) named for a woman (6) Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Flog, 4 Punch, 9 Lasting, 10 Vesta, 11 Cloud, 12 Dashing, 13 Roster, 15 Boxers, 19 Teacher, 21 Pagan, 23 Inlay, 24 Steamer, 25 Wines, 26 Seal.

Down: 2 Lasso, 3 Griddle, 4 Pagoda, 5 Nevis, 6 Hospice, 7 Slicer, 8 Bang, 14 Swallow, 16 Orpheus, 17 Sentry, 18 Wrests, 19 Toil, 20 Haydn, 22 Gamma.

FILL IT IN

Complete the crossword grid by using the given words:

2 letter words My On 3 letter words Aha Bio Gas Keg Nay Ten Thy Use 4 letter words Ache Acme Acre

Afar Agar Aloe Area Blue Crag Dame Dire Echo Helm Hill Oral Pack Pact Pate Pins Plus Pole Rads Rent

Rest Sale Sect Slow Spar Toga Tore Were Yale 5 letter words Bloke Cameo Carer Costs Count Dames Dicey Hyena

Lofty Loose Manes Maths Nones Nosey Oinks Pants Paten Pause Poesy Polar Poses Salad Sates Scrum Stage Tools Tress Unite

6 letter words Camera Clumsy Mettle Papers Speech Splash Stapes States 8 letter words Eremites Nonesuch 9 letter words Biometric Chanteuse

SPANISH-ENGLISH CROSSWORD

Improve your Spanish ­ clues in Spanish, answers in English or vice versa.

Across 1 Bucket (pail) (4) 3 Garbanzo (8) 9 Fourteen (7) 10 Costuras (puntadas) (5) 11 Tables (furniture) (5) 12 Aliento (hálito) (6) 14 Examination (school) (6) 16 Leg (of person) (6) 19 To cut (meat, bread, cards) (6) 21 Gigante (5) 24 Key (door) (5) 25 Mothers­in­law (7) 26 Mil (8) 27 Orejas (4)

Down 1 Pepino (8) 2 Dressing gowns (5) 4 Grass (6) 5 Swan (5) 6 Yeso (7) 7 También (además) (4) 8 Sad (unhappy) (6) 13 Bautismos (8) 15 Lawyer (7) 17 English (6) 18 Cárcel (6) 20 Árboles (5) 22 Sour (f) (5) 23 Plano (llano) (4)

37

Friday, March 28, 2014 Across 1 Any sort of food between two slices of bread, said to be named after an 18th century earl who ate a snack of this kind in order not to have to leave the gaming­table (8) 5 Chinese dish of small steamed or fried savoury dumplings containing vari­ ous fillings (3,3) 9 Ancient Athenian philoso­ pher, teacher of Plato and Xenophon (470­399 BC) (8) 10 American folk singer and guitarist who opened the 1969 Woodstock Festival: Richie ­­­­­­ (6) 12 Escape or avoid by cun­ ning (5) 13 In music, a gradual increase in loudness (9) 14 Marine mollusc that has a shallow conical shell and a broad muscular foot, proverbial for the way it clings tightly to rocks (6)

16 John D Loudermilk song that was a 1964 hit for the Nashville Teens: ­­­­­­­ Road (7) 19 Framework of light wooden or metal bars used as a support for fruit trees or creepers, typically fas­ tened against a wall (7) 21 Third single and the title track from Ultravox's fourth album (6) 23 American novelist, dramatist, and essayist, whose novels, many of them satirical comedies, include Williwaw (1946) and Myra Breckenridge (1968) (4,5) 25 See 11 Down 26 Shady garden alcove with the sides and roof formed by trees or climbing plants trained over a frame­ work (6) 27 An Irish republican polit­ ical movement founded in 1905 to promote independ­

SUDOKU (Easy)

Quiz Word

ence from England and uni­ fication of Ireland. The name is Irish for ‘ourselves’ or ‘we ourselves’ (4,4)

28 Having or showing an ability to accurately assess situations or people and turn this to one's advantage

(6) 29 Situation in which two or more competitors in a race are exactly level (4,4) Down 1 We Are Family, Lost In Music, He's the Greatest Dancer and Frankie, all UK hit singles by ­­­­­­ Sledge (6) 2 Peach of a variety with smooth red and yellow skin and rich, firm flesh (9) 3 Very large marine mam­ mal with a streamlined hair­ less body, a horizontal tail fin and a blowhole on top of the head for breathing (5) 4 Very short hairstyle for men and boys (4,3) 6 Having or showing a ten­ dency to be easily angered (9) 7 Stage surname of actor originally named Carlos Irwin Estévez (5) 8 Large extinct elephant­

like mammal of the Miocene to Pleistocene epochs, having teeth of a relatively primitive form and number (8) 11/20/25A Leonard Bernstein/Stephen Sondheim musical that fea­ tures the songs: Maria, America, I Feel Pretty, Somewhere and Tonight (4,4,5) 15 Athletic event principally associated with Holly Bleasedale and Yelena Isinbayeva (4,5) 17 Dialect of Chinese (9) 18 Marks resembling the wounds on the crucified body of Jesus Christ (8) 20 See 11 21 Resembling or charac­ teristic of a fox (7) 22 Young swan (6) 24 Capital of Morocco (5) 25 Council convened to dis­ cuss ecclesiastical busi­ ness (5)

SALLY’S SIMPLE SPANISH

Trafico ­ Traffic

Match these words with their Spanish translations then find them in the wordsearch.

(Answers below)

alto

la parada de taxi

despacio

la señal

el carril

los peatones

el cruce

peaje

el desvío

sentido único

el peligro

sin salida

entrada prohibida

tope

science QUIZ

ANSEWRS 1. The Dial Telephone 2. Wood Fibre 3. Latex 4. Zero 5.

Writers Cramp 6. a drone 7. The Achilles 8. A type of wild duck 9. Kookaburra 10. A Photon 11. liger 12. Diamonds 13.

Nitrogen ­ Air freezes 14. Yellowstone National Park

Last Week’s Solutions Code Cracker Last weeks Quiz Word Solution Across: 7 Namibia, 8 Jawbone, 10 Wisdom, 11 Athletic, 12/22 Cape Fear, 13 Sutherland, 14 Desperately, 19 Field trial, 23 Quotient, 24 Rapier, 25 Rebecca, 26 Endemic.

Down: 1 Habitat, 2 Birdseye, 3 Litmus, 4 Tashkent, 5 Abseil, 6 Indiana, 9 Walter Mitty, 15 Patience, 16 Life peer, 17 Bitumen, 18 Javelin, 20 Litter, 21 Larynx.

la curva Empareja estas palabras ­ Match the Spanish and English words You will find the answers at the bottom of the quiz. i.the crossing, j.dead end,

14.sin salida, 15.tope.

1.alto, 2.despacio, 3.el carril,

k.slow, l.one way, m.the lane,

4.el cruce, 5.el desvío, 6.el peligro, 7.entrada prohibida,

a.speed bump, b.the detour,

8.la curva, 9.la parada de taxi

c.the taxi stop,

10.la señal, 11.los peatones,

d.the pedestrians, e.no entry,

12.peaje, 13.sentido único,

f.toll, g.the danger, h.stop,

Soduko

Span ­ Eng

Quizword

n.the curve, o.the sign.

Answers: 1h, 2k, 3m, 4i, 5b, 6g, 7e, 8n, 9c, 10o, 11d, 12f, 13l, 14j, 15a.

1. What Communication Aid Was Invented In 1905 By American Undertaker Almon Strowger?

2. From What Material Do Wasps Build Their Nests?

3. What is the Latin word for the liquid produced by Ficus Elastica?

4. What digit does not exist in Roman Numerals?

5. Scrivanous Palsey is otherwise known as what?

6. what non­working stingless bee mates with the queen?

7. By What Name Is The Tendon At The Back Of The Ankle Commonly Known?

8. What is a smew?

9. What is the correct name for the 'Laughing Jackass'?

10. What Is A Particle Of Light Called?

11. what's the term for the hybrid offspring if a male lion and a female tiger?

12. Kimberlite contains what precious gemstone?

13. What is in the tyres of a commercial airline?

14. In Which US National Park Is The Old Faithful Geyser?

Fill It In

38

Friday, March 28, 2014

TRELI ON THE TELLY with ALEX TRELINSKI I’ve got to give ITV 100% for having the guts to put­ ting on it’s only US import, The Americans, out on a Saturday night, and it’s not even getting 1 million view­ ers.

We’re two episodes into the second series and I’m a big fan. It’s a thoroughly intel­ ligent show with a fascinating tale of two undercover Soviet spies living in the States dur­ ing the early eighties, with even their two kids not know­ ing who their parents really are. It captures the atmos­ phere of the time well, but it’s a niche show, which made ITV’s decision to buy it last year as their only main­ stream American drama, seem somewhat strange. It certainly could not be any further removed from Casualty which roughly plays at the same time on BBC 1, with the long­running medical

AMERICANS BECOME MAJOR CASAULTY soap clocking up some of it’s best numbers in months.

That’ll be boosted still further tomorrow night with the return of old Holby favourite, Amanda Mealing as Connie Beauchamp, whilst ITV have thrown in the towel and shunted The Americans back an hour in favour of a Law and Order UK repeat. The Spanish commercial chan­ nels know how to buy in US

ratings winners, so why isn’t ITV capable of it?

q

There was I praising BBC 1’s legal drama Silk to the rafters the other week, and now comes the news that creator and chief writer, Peter Moffat has decided to call time on it after just three short series. He says that the show has gone as far as it could go creative­ ly and will comes to a natural

end, which means this Monday’s episode will be the last. A great shame, but bet­ ter to go out on a high, rather than string it along to satisfy the bosses.

q

If you’d had told me 15 years ago that David Beckham would give an excellent acting performance in an Only Fools and Horses sketch, I’d have suggested you would have needed urgent medical and psychi­ atric attention. He could barely string two words together in an interview situ­ ation in those days, but he looked really assured along­ side David Jason and Nicholas Lyndhurst in their Sport Relief sketch. By the way, Del Boy and Rodney looked their ages, but it was great to see them back in what was a very entertaining evening, and miles better than the amateurish dross that is Children in Need every November. Best hoot

was the Kylie Minogue/ David Walliams duet, which was price­ less, including the walk­on from Jason Donovan!

q

By the way, don’t read too much yet into the news that Kylie Minogue is quitting The Voice next season because her autumn tour dates clash with the record­ ing of the initial blind audi­ tions. There’s no way that the BBC want to lose her and the story doing the rounds is that they’ll switch the dates to make sure that she’ll be available, alongside I dare­ say a bigger pay packet for helping revitalise the show into a ratings winner.

and a new series of Parkinson: ­Masterclass. The maestro is still on form with good research and careful prompting, and there’ve been two enjoyable shows so far with the likeable Eddie Izzard and the magician, Dynamo. I love the comedy chat shows if done well by the likes of Graham Norton, but surely the main channels could find For those of you who room, even late at night, for like an old­fashioned TV some intelligent conversation talk show, check out Sky Arts that is still entertaining?

q

Friday March 28 00:00 BBC News 00:25 BBC Regional News and Weather 00:35 Question Time 01:35 This Week 02:20 Skiing Weatherview 02:25 BBC News 08:00 Breakfast 11:15 Heir Hunters 12:00 Homes Under the Hammer 13:00 Rip Off Britain: Food 13:45 Watchdog Test House 14:15 Bargain Hunt 15:00 BBC News; Weather 15:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 15:45 Doctors 16:15 Perfection 17:00 Escape to the Country 17:45 More Creatures Great and Small 18:15 Flog It! Trade Secrets 19:15 Pointless 20:00 BBC News 20:30 Weather 20:30 BBC London News 21:00 The One Show 21:30 London's Met Special: Do You Trust the Police 22:00 EastEnders 22:30 MasterChef 23:00 New Tricks

00:30 Weather 01:20 The Greatest Knight: William Marshal 02:20 Panorama

02:50 This Is BBC Two 03:55 Formula 1 05:35 This Is BBC Two 06:55 Schools: 3, 2, 1 Go! ­ Key Stage 1 07:55 Formula 1 09:35 Animal Park 10:20 Wanted Down Under 11:05 The Great Interior Design Challenge 12:05 Pound Shop Wars 12:35 The Travel Show 13:00 BBC News 13:30 BBC World News 14:00 Daily Politics 15:00 Coast 15:05 South Africa Walks 15:35 The Nature of Britain 16:25 Himalaya with Michael Palin 17:25 Cagney & Lacey 18:15 'Allo 'Allo!

18:45 'Allo 'Allo!

19:15 Antiques Roadshow 20:00 Revenge of the Egghead 20:30 The Voice: Louder on Two 21:00 Antiques Road Trip 22:00 Lambing Live 23:00 Gardeners' World 23:30 A Very British Renaissance

00:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 00:30 ITV Meridian Weather 00:35 Edge of Heaven 01:35 The Cube 02:30 Jackpot247 05:00 Tonight 05:25 ITV Nightscreen 07:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 08:00 Daybreak 10:30 Lorraine 11:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 12:30 This Morning 14:30 Loose Women 15:30 ITV News and Weather 15:55 ITV Meridian Weather 16:00 Auf Wiedersehen My Pet 17:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 17:59 ITV Meridian Weather 18:00 Tipping Point 19:00 The Chase 20:00 ITV News Meridian 20:30 ITV News and Weather 21:00 Emmerdale 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Student Nurses: Bedpans and Bandages 22:30 Coronation Street 23:00 Edge of Heaven

MYSTERIES OF THE BERMUDA TRIANGLE Documentary about the area of the north Atlantic between Florida, Puerto Rico and Bermuda where it is alleged many boats and aeroplanes have gone missing. Stories about strange events in the region include a US Coast Guard ship that detect­ ed a phantom landmass on its radar.

00:00 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown 01:05 One Born Every Minute 02:05 The Missing 03:05 Random Acts 03:10 First Dates 04:05 Shop Secrets: Tricks of the Trade 04:35 Katie: My Beautiful Friends 06:25 Dispatches 06:55 Deal or No Deal 07:50 SuperScrimpers 08:00 Countdown 08:45 Will & Grace 09:35 Everybody Loves Raymond 11:00 Frasier 11:30 Frasier 12:00 Undercover Boss USA 13:00 Phil: Secret Agent Down Under 14:00 Channel 4 News Midday Summary 14:05 Coach Trip 14:35 River Cottage Bites 14:50 The Belles of St Trinian's 16:40 Countdown 17:30 Deal or No Deal 18:30 Four in a Bed 19:00 Come Dine with Me 20:00 The Simpsons 20:30 Hollyoaks 21:00 Channel 4 News 22:00 Marvel's Agents of SHIELD 23:00 Gogglebox

00:00 Person of Interest 00:55 CSI: NY 01:55 Access 02:00 SuperCasino 05:05 Soho Blues 06:00 House Doctor 06:20 House Doctor 06:45 HouseBusters 07:10 Nick's Quest 07:35 Nick's Quest 08:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 08:10 Igam Ogam 08:20 Fireman Sam 08:35 The WotWots 08:45 Peppa Pig 08:50 Play!

09:00 Little Princess 09:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 09:20 The Mr Men Show 09:35 Thomas & Friends 09:50 Noddy in Toyland 10:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 10:15 Peppa Pig 10:25 Peppa Pig 10:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 10:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 11:00 Tickety Toc 11:15 The Wright Stuff 13:10 Police Interceptors 14:10 5 News Lunchtime 14:15 My Spiral into Debt Hell 15:15 Home and Away 15:45 Neighbours 16:15 Diagnosis Murder 17:15 Love's Resounding Courage 19:00 5 News at 5 19:30 Neighbours 20:00 Home and Away 20:30 NewsTalk Live 21:00 The Gadget Show 22:00 Ice Road Truckers 23:00 Mysteries of the Bermuda Triangle

39

Saturday March 29 01:05 Thirteen Days 03:20 Question Time 00:00 BBC News 00:25 National Lottery Update 00:35 Joanna Lumley Meets Will.i.am 01:35 Would I Lie to You? 02:05 EastEnders 04:30 Weatherview 04:35 BBC News 08:00 Breakfast 09:00 Formula 1 11:30 Saturday Kitchen Live 13:00 James Martin: Home Comforts 13:30 James Martin: Home Comforts 14:00 Football Focus 14:45 Sportsday 15:00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 15:15 Formula 1 17:30 Reflex 18:15 Final Score 19:15 Shrek 20:40 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 21:00 The Voice UK 23:10 The National Lottery Live 23:20 Casualty

00:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 00:30 ITV News Meridian This Is BBC Two 00:35 Scent of a Woman 03:25 Jackpot247 Formula 1 05:00 The Majestic The Saint in New York 07:30 ITV Nightscreen 08:00 Dino Dan The Saint Strikes Back 08:25 Matt Hatter Chronicles The Living Planet 08:45 Canimals The Living Planet 08:55 Canimals 09:00 Canimals The Nature of Britain 09:10 Om Nom Stories Fred Dibnah's Made in Britain 09:20 Sooty Great British Railway Journeys 09:30 Scrambled!

11:25 ITV News James Martin: Home Comforts 11:30 Murder, She Wrote 12:25 Dinner Date Mary Berry Cooks 13:25 ITV News and Weather The Hairy Bakers 13:34 ITV Meridian Weather The 39 Steps 13:35 The Crocodile Hunter Diaries 14:05 The Unforgettable Talking Pictures 14:35 Junior North by Northwest 16:35 The Chase 17:35 Midsomer Murders Mountain Gorilla 19:30 ITV News Meridian Flog It! 19:45 ITV News and Weather 20:00 You've Been Framed!

Dad's Army 21:00 Ant & Dec's Saturday Night The Perfect Morecambe & Wise Takeaway The Plantagenets 22:25 The Cube 23:25 Law & Order: UK QI

04:20 Wild Brazil 05:20 06:55 08:05 09:15 10:20 11:15 12:10 13:00 13:30 14:00 14:30 15:00 15:15 16:40 17:20 19:30 20:30 21:30 22:00 22:30 23:30

00:00 01:05 01:50 02:20 03:50 03:55 04:20 05:00 05:45 06:30 06:50 07:45 08:10 08:35 09:00 10:00 11:00 11:30 11:55 12:50 13:40 14:10 14:40 15:40 18:20 19:05 19:50 20:35 21:05 22:00 23:00

Alan Carr: Chatty Man 8 Out of 10 Cats Brooklyn Nine­Nine Zoolander Random Acts The Simpsons Happy Endings Franklin & Bash The Good Wife SuperScrimpers Deal or No Deal The Hoobs The Hoobs The Grid Trans World Sport The Morning Line Everybody Loves Raymond Frasier The Big Bang Theory How I Met Your Mother The Simpsons The Simpsons Undercover Boss USA Channel 4 Racing Come Dine with Me Come Dine with Me Channel 4 Racing Channel 4 News Marvel's Agents of SHIELD Hostages The Mechanic

THE MECHANIC Remake of the 1972 Charles Bronson action thriller, starring Jason Statham and Ben Foster. Arthur Bishop is a professional hitman who despatches his victims with the coolness of someone at the top of his game. But when his close friend Harry is mur­ dered, things become personal and Arthur sets out to get revenge with the help of Harry's son.

00:30 Newsnight 01:00 Weather

00:00 NCIS: Los Angeles 00:55 A Damn Shame 01:55 Access 02:00 SuperCasino 05:05 Born to Kill?

06:00 House Doctor 06:20 House Doctor 06:45 HouseBusters 07:10 Nick's Quest 07:35 Nick's Quest 08:00 Peppa Pig 08:05 Roary the Racing Car 08:15 Fifi and the Flowertots 08:25 Bubble Guppies 08:35 The Mr Men Show 08:50 Chloe's Closet 09:00 Roobarb and Custard Too 09:10 Bananas in Pyjamas 09:25 Make Way for Noddy 09:40 City of Friends 09:55 Little Princess 10:10 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 10:25 Angelina Ballerina: The Next Steps 10:45 Rupert Bear 11:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 11:15 Jelly Jamm 11:30 LazyTown 12:00 Access 12:05 Meerkat Manor 12:35 The Bridge at Remagen 14:55 A Bridge Too Far 18:15 Joe Kidd 19:55 Columbo: Mind over Mayhem 21:20 A Damn Shame 22:10 NCIS 23:05 5 News Weekend 23:10 Greatest Kids' TV Shows

Sunday March 30 00:30 We Need to Talk about Kevin 02:15 I Am Love 00:10 BBC News; Weather 00:30 Match of the Day 01:55 The Football League Show 03:15 Weatherview 03:20 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 09:00 Formula 1 12:15 Sunday Politics 13:30 MOTD2 Extra 14:00 BBC News 14:10 Weather for the Week Ahead 14:15 NoRuz: The Persian Spring 14:45 Formula 1 16:45 Deadly 60 on a Mission 17:15 Escape to the Country 17:45 Songs of Praise 18:20 Pointless Celebrities 19:05 Blandings 19:35 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 20:00 Countryfile 21:00 Antiques Roadshow 22:00 The Musketeers 23:00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 23:25 Match of the Day 2

00:00 Stewart Lee's Comedy Vehicle

04:10 This Is BBC Two 07:00 Countryfile 08:00 Gardeners' World 08:30 Match of the Day 10:00 The Andrew Marr Show 11:00 The Big Questions 12:00 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites 13:30 Living Famously 14:30 Foreign Correspondent 16:25 I Confess 18:00 Flog It! 19:00 The Hairy Bikers: Restoration Road Trip 20:00 Great Barrier Reef 21:00 Border Country: The Story of Britain's Lost Middleland 22:00 Louis Theroux's LA Stories 23:00 QI XL 23:45 Top of the Pops: 1977

00:25 01:25 01:40 02:35 05:00 05:40 07:00 07:25 07:45 08:10 08:20 08:30 10:25 10:30 11:30 12:00 12:10 13:10 15:05 16:05 18:35 18:50 19:00 20:00 21:00 23:00 23:14 23:15

The Americans ITV News and Weather Through the Keyhole Jackpot247 In Plain Sight ITV Nightscreen Dino Dan Matt Hatter Chronicles Canimals Om Nom Stories Sooty Scrambled!

ITV News Murder, She Wrote The Unforgettable ITV News and Weather River Monsters Agatha Christie's Marple Big Star's Little Star Moonraker ITV Meridian Weather ITV News and Weather Catchphrase Surprise Surprise Endeavour ITV News at Ten and Weather ITV Meridian Weather Piers Morgan's Life Stories

GREAT BARRIER REEF An exploration of Australia's underwater ecosys­ tem, one of the natural wonders of the world and the largest living structure on the planet. In the first of three programmes, marine biologist Monty Halls examines the complex form of the coral reef itself and the wildlife that lives on it, from deadly fish­ hunting snails and sharks that can walk on land to fighting corals and parrotfish.

00:45 Beverly Hills Cop III 02:50 Notorious 04:50 Abductees 05:05 Hollyoaks 07:10 Arenacross 07:35 Arenacross 08:00 Arenacross 08:30 Mark Webber Tasmania Challenge 09:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 10:30 Sunday Brunch 13:30 Secret Eaters 14:35 The Big Bang Theory 15:05 The Big Bang Theory 15:35 How I Met Your Mother 16:00 How I Met Your Mother 16:30 The Simpsons 17:00 The Simpsons 17:30 Deal or No Deal 18:30 Home Alone 20:30 Channel 4 News 21:00 Secret History 22:00 The Woman in Black 23:50 Orphan

02:10 SuperCasino 05:00 Wildlife SOS 05:25 Make It Big 05:50 The Funky Valley Show 06:00 Angels of Jarm 06:10 Hana's Helpline 06:20 Angels of Jarm 06:30 The Funky Valley Show 06:40 Hana's Helpline 06:50 Hana's Helpline 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Fifi and the Flowertots 07:25 Bubble Guppies 07:35 The Mr Men Show 07:50 Chloe's Closet 08:00 Roobarb and Custard Too 08:10 Bananas in Pyjamas 08:25 Make Way for Noddy 08:35 City of Friends 08:45 Toby's Travelling Circus 08:55 Little Princess 09:10 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:20 Angelina Ballerina 09:35 Rupert Bear 09:50 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:05 Jelly Jamm 10:20 LazyTown 10:50 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 10:55 Milkshake! Show Songs 11:00 Power Rangers Super Samurai 11:35 Power Rangers Megaforce 12:10 Hoodwinked 13:35 Gremlins 2: the New Batch 15:40 Stop! or My Mom Will Shoot 17:20 A Bug's Life 19:10 Mum of the Year 2014 20:05 5 News Weekend 20:10 Bulletproof Monk 22:00 Top 40 Ultimate Action Movies

40

Monday March 31 01:05 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Heir Hunters 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Don't Get Done, Get Dom 12:45 Saints and Scroungers 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Perfection 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 More Creatures Great and Small 17:15 Flog It! 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 20:00 The One Show 20:30 Bang Goes the Theory 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 Panorama 22:00 Silk 23:00 BBC News 23:25 BBC Regional News and Weather 23:35 The Michael McIntyre Chat Show

00:45 02:10 03:10 04:10 05:10

War Requiem Countryfile Holby City Silk This Is BBC Two

07:00 This Is BBC Two 07:05 Homes Under the Hammer 08:05 Rip Off Britain: Food 08:50 Watchdog Test House 09:20 Wanted Down Under 10:05 The Restaurant Man 11:05 Great British Railway Journeys 11:35 Click 12:00 BBC News 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Cash in the Attic 14:30 The Nature of Britain 15:30 Cagney & Lacey 16:15 Himalaya with Michael Palin 17:15 'Allo 'Allo!

17:45 'Allo 'Allo!

18:15 Antiques Roadshow 19:00 Revenge of the Egghead 19:30 The Voice: Louder on Two 20:00 Antiques Road Trip 21:00 University Challenge 21:30 Mary Berry Cooks 22:00 The Plantagenets 23:00 Rev 23:30 Newsnight

00:15 The Crocodile Hunter Diaries 00:45 Premiership Rugby Union 01:40 The Store 03:45 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 05:10 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV Meridian Weather 15:00 Auf Wiedersehen My Pet 16:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 I Never Knew That About Britain 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 The Widower 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV Meridian Weather 23:35 The Agenda

02:00 The Good Wife 02:45 The Hotel 03:40 Secret Removers 04:40 Kirstie's Vintage Gems 05:00 SuperScrimpers 05:55 Hugh's 3 Good Things 06:05 Deal or No Deal 07:00 Countdown 07:45 Will & Grace 08:35 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 10:30 Frasier 11:00 Undercover Boss Canada 12:00 Phil: Secret Agent Down Under 13:00 Channel 4 News Midday Summary 13:05 River Cottage Bites 13:10 Reap the Wild Wind 15:40 Countdown 16:30 Deal or No Deal 17:30 Four in a Bed 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:30 Nigel Farage: Who Are You? 21:30 Shop Secrets: Tricks of the Trade 22:00 One Born Every Minute 23:00 Our Gay Wedding: The Musical

THE GADGET SHOW Each of the presenters goes head to head with a sports star to see if they can use the latest technol­ ogy to beat them at their own game. Ortis Deley is pitted against one of Britain's strongest men in a three­way contest of lifting, throwing and truck­ pulling, Rachel Riley builds an eye­tracking launch­ er for a game of darts against Bobby George, while Jason Bradbury climbs aboard a snowboard simu­ lator to compete against a Winter Olympian.

00:55 Point Break 03:20 SuperCasino 04:05 Benidorm ER 05:00 Wildlife SOS 05:25 Make It Big 05:50 The Funky Valley Show 06:00 Angels of Jarm 06:10 Hana's Helpline 06:20 Angels of Jarm 06:30 The Funky Valley Show 06:40 Hana's Helpline 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Play!

08:00 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:10 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Police Interceptors 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Benidorm ER 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:20 NCIS 16:20 Access 16:25 The Gunfighter's Pledge 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 NewsTalk Live 20:00 The Gadget Show 21:00 Police Interceptors 22:00 Conned, Fleeced and Left for Broke 23:00 The Disappearance of Flight MH370

Tuesday April 1 10:15 Heir Hunters 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Don't Get Done, Get Dom 12:45 Saints and Scroungers 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Perfection 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 More Creatures Great and Small 17:15 Flog It! 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 19:55 Party Political Broadcast 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 Holby City 22:00 Shetland 23:00 BBC News 23:25 National Lottery Update 23:25 BBC Regional News and Weather 23:35 George Michael at the Palais Garnier, Paris

00:15 Weather 00:20 Louis Theroux's LA Stories 01:20 The Culture Show 02:20 This Is BBC Two 05:00 Schools: Michael Mosely: Infested! Living with Parasites 05:30 Schools: The Science of Space Dive 06:00 Schools: Your Paintings 06:55 Schools: Wonders of Nature:

Elephant ­ Importance of Water 07:00 This Is BBC Two 07:05 Homes Under the Hammer 08:05 Don't Get Done, Get Dom 08:50 Saints and Scroungers 09:20 Wanted Down Under 10:05 Great British Garden Revival 11:05 Great British Railway Journeys 11:35 HARDtalk 12:00 BBC News 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 The Super League Show 14:45 Instant Restaurant 15:30 Cash in the Attic 16:00 Cagney & Lacey 16:45 Himalaya with Michael Palin 17:45 'Allo 'Allo!

18:15 Antiques Roadshow 18:55 Party Political Broadcast 19:00 Revenge of the Egghead 19:30 The Voice: Louder on Two 20:00 Antiques Road Trip 21:00 The Great British Sewing Bee 22:00 Horizon 23:00 The Sarah Millican Television Programme 23:30 Weather

00:10 Inside Death Row with Trevor McDonald 01:05 Jackpot247 04:00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 04:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 05:10 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV Meridian Weather 15:00 Auf Wiedersehen My Pet 16:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:25 Party Political Broadcast 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Live UEFA Champions League 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV Meridian Weather 23:35 UEFA Champions League: Extra Time

LIVE UEFA CHAMPIONS LEAGUE Manchester United v Bayern Munich (Kick­off 8.45pm). Coverage of the quarter­final first­leg clash at Old Trafford, where the Red Devils face a daunting task as they welcome the reigning cham­ pions. United have been in fine form in front of their own fans in this season's competition, win­ ning all three group games as well as the crucial last­16 second leg against Olympiakos last time out.

00:05 Gogglebox 01:10 Random Acts 01:15 Little Children 03:30 Hostages 04:15 The Good Wife 05:05 Kirstie's Handmade Treasures 05:10 SuperScrimpers 06:05 Deal or No Deal 07:00 Countdown 07:45 Will & Grace 08:35 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 11:00 Undercover Boss Canada 12:00 Phil: Secret Agent Down Under 13:00 Channel 4 News Midday Summary 13:05 SuperScrimpers 13:10 The Cowboys 15:40 Countdown 16:30 Deal or No Deal 17:30 Four in a Bed 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 Kirstie's Best of Both Worlds 22:00 New Worlds 23:10 8 Out of 10 Cats 23:55 Alan Carr: Chatty Man

00:00 Blood Work 02:10 SuperCasino 04:05 Ben Fogle: New Lives in the Wild 05:00 House Doctor 05:45 HouseBusters 06:10 Nick's Quest 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Play!

08:00 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:10 Peppa Pig 09:30 Milkshake! Monkey 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Police Interceptors 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 The Hotel Inspector 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:20 NCIS 16:20 Another Man's Wife 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 NewsTalk Live 20:00 Gibraltar: Britain in the Sun 21:00 The Nightmare Neighbour Next Door 22:00 The Mentalist 23:00 Law & Order: Special Victims Unit

41

Wednesday April 2 00:35 Skin 02:20 Weatherview 02:25 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Heir Hunters 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Don't Get Done, Get Dom 12:45 Saints and Scroungers 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Perfection 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 More Creatures Great and Small 17:15 Flog It! 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 20:00 The One Show 21:00 MasterChef 22:00 Monkey Planet 23:00 BBC News 23:25 National Lottery Update 23:25 BBC Regional News and Weather 23:35 Panorama

00:20 Border Country: The Story of Britain's Lost Middleland 01:20 Royal Cousins at War 02:20 This Is BBC Two 05:00 Schools ­ Acting Around

Words 05:30 Arena: National at 50 06:00 History Hunt 07:00 Homes Under the Hammer 08:00 Don't Get Done, Get Dom 08:45 Saints and Scroungers 09:15 Wanted Down Under 10:00 Antiques Roadshow 11:00 Food & Drink 11:30 Animal Park 12:00 BBC News 12:30 Daily Politics 14:00 Instant Restaurant 14:45 Cash in the Attic 15:30 Cagney & Lacey 16:15 Planet Earth 17:15 The Great British Bake Off 18:15 Antiques Roadshow 19:00 Revenge of the Egghead 19:30 The Voice: Louder on Two 20:00 The European Union: In or Out? 21:00 Collectaholics 22:00 Kim Philby ­ His Most Intimate Betrayal 23:00 W1A 23:30 Newsnight

00:35 01:05 04:00 04:45 06:05 07:00 09:30 10:25 11:30 13:30 14:30 14:55 15:00 16:00 17:00 18:00 19:00 19:30 20:00 20:30 21:00 22:00 23:00 23:30 23:35

The Crocodile Hunter Diaries Jackpot247 Loose Women ITV Nightscreen The Jeremy Kyle Show Daybreak Lorraine The Jeremy Kyle Show This Morning Loose Women ITV News and Weather ITV Meridian Weather Auf Wiedersehen My Pet Dickinson's Real Deal Tipping Point The Chase ITV News Meridian ITV News and Weather Emmerdale Coronation Street Big Star's Little Star Law & Order: UK ITV News at Ten and Weather ITV Meridian Weather The Holiday

00:55 Random Acts 01:00 Poker 02:05 KOTV Boxing Weekly 02:30 Trans World Sport 03:25 The Grid 03:50 Arenacross 04:15 Mark Webber Tasmania Challenge 05:10 SuperScrimpers 06:05 Deal or No Deal 07:00 Countdown 07:45 Will & Grace 08:35 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 10:30 Frasier 11:00 Undercover Boss Canada 12:00 Phil: Secret Agent Down Under 13:00 Channel 4 News Midday Summary 13:05 River Cottage Bites 13:20 The War Lord 15:40 Countdown 16:30 Deal or No Deal 17:30 Four in a Bed 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 Secret Eaters 22:00 Dead Famous DNA 23:00 First Dates

MASTERCHEF John Torode and Gregg Wallace present the sec­ ond heat. The six hopefuls begin by dishing up their Calling Card, a single plate of food that rep­ resents who they are, followed by the Invention Test, in which they rustle up a dish in one hour from a choice of two surprise sets of ingredients.

After two cooks are sent home, things get seri­ ous, with the rest preparing dinner for three dis­ cerning guests

00:00 Body of Proof 01:00 Body of Proof 01:55 SuperCasino 04:05 Killing Spree 05:00 House Doctor 05:45 Divine Designs 06:10 Nick's Quest 06:35 Nick's Quest 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Play!

08:00 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:10 Peppa Pig 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:30 Milkshake! Monkey 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Police Interceptors 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 The Gadget Show 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:20 NCIS: Los Angeles 16:15 Mystery Woman: Oh Baby 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 NewsTalk Live 20:00 Mum of the Year 2014 21:00 Killing Spree 22:00 NCIS 23:00 Castle

Thursday April 3 00:15 The Michael McIntyre Chat Show 01:00 Blandings 01:30 Weatherview 01:35 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Heir Hunters 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Don't Get Done, Get Dom 12:45 Saints and Scroungers 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Perfection 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 More Creatures Great and Small 17:15 Flog It! 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 BBC News; Regional News 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 MasterChef 22:00 Supermarket Secrets 23:00 BBC News 23:25 BBC Regional News and Weather 23:35 Question Time

00:15 Weather 00:20 Horizon 01:20 Horizon 02:20 This Is BBC Two 05:00 Schools ­ Howard Goodall's Story of Music

06:00 Schools ­ Play On! 06:30 Schools ­ The Great British Year 06:55 Wonders of Nature: Stoat ­ Play 07:00 This Is BBC Two 07:05 Homes Under the Hammer 08:05 Don't Get Done, Get Dom 08:50 Saints and Scroungers 09:20 Wanted Down Under 10:05 Fake or Fortune?

11:05 Gardeners' World 11:35 HARDtalk 12:00 BBC News 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Instant Restaurant 14:45 Cash in the Attic 15:30 Cagney & Lacey 16:15 Planet Earth 17:15 The Great British Bake Off 18:15 Antiques Roadshow 19:00 Revenge of the Egghead 19:30 The Voice: Louder on Two 20:00 Antiques Road Trip 21:00 Nature's Weirdest Events 22:00 Kim Philby ­ His Most Intimate Betrayal 23:00 Mock the Week Looks Back at 23:30 Weather

02:00 Jackpot247 04:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 04:45 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV Meridian Weather 15:00 Auf Wiedersehen My Pet 16:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Tonight 21:00 Emmerdale 21:30 Ade at Sea 22:00 It'll Be Alright on the Night 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV Meridian Weather 23:35 Edge of Heaven

SUPERMARKET SECRETS People buy 90 per cent of their food from super­ markets, giving the stores a huge influence on customers' lives. Gregg Wallace presents the occasional documentary exploring how some of Britain's biggest food retailers prepare for the dif­ ferent seasons.

00:00 Embarrassing Bodies Down Under 01:00 Random Acts 01:05 Music on 4: Music Nation 01:35 I Killed My Mother 03:20 Paper Moon 05:10 SuperScrimpers 06:05 Deal or No Deal 07:00 Countdown 07:45 Will & Grace 08:10 Will & Grace 08:35 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:00 The Morning Line 10:00 Frasier 10:30 Frasier 11:00 Undercover Boss Canada 12:00 Phil: Secret Agent Down Under 13:00 Channel 4 News Midday Summary 13:05 River Cottage 13:35 A Place in the Sun: Home or Away 14:35 Channel 4 Racing 17:30 Four in a Bed 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 The Hoarder Next Door 22:00 15,000 Kids and Counting 23:00 Jockey School

00:00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 01:00 Law & Order: Special Victims Unit 01:55 SuperCasino 04:05 It Takes a Thief to Catch a Thief 05:00 House Doctor 05:50 Divine Designs 06:10 Wildlife SOS 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Play!

08:00 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Police Interceptors 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 It Takes a Thief to Catch a Thief 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:20 NCIS 16:15 NYC: Tornado Terror 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 NewsTalk Live 20:00 Police Interceptors 21:00 It Takes a Thief to Catch a Thief 22:00 Hercules the Human Bear 23:00 Person of Interest

42

Friday, March 28, 2014

AUCTIONS

ACCOUNTANTS Pro Business Support – for all your accountancy needs in English; bookkeeping, taxes, wage slips and more.

We cater for companies and self­employed people; we can deal with everything for you. Call us on 966 923 963 for first consultation free of charge.

BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES Bar for traspaso Well established, 9 year old, beach front terrace on the Mar Menor, with a good mix of both British and Spanish clientele. Hard working bar.

For more information con­ tact 637 362 863 (157)

BLINDS

BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY

CHURCH SERVICES International Christian Assembly, Calle Pilar de Horadada 5, Torrevieja.

Evangelical non­denomina­ tional church. Sunday serv­ ices 11am.

Children's church 11am. House groups in Torrevieja, Los Balcones, San Javier. Ladies meeting Thursdays 11am. Craft club, Tuesdays, 2pm.

Pastor, Rafael Restrepo. All nation­ alities welcome. Call 966 799 273 or 660 127 276.

Pilar Christian Community Church Calle Canalejas 3.

Pilar de la Horadada.

Sunday Service at 11am, and Thursday at 5pm for Prayer and Praise and Worship Home groups meet during the week. All wel­ come from any church back­ ground or none. For further information contact PilarChristian.CommunityC hurch@gmail.com 968575417 or 966848806.

Reg No:2009­SG/A The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (Mormons) meet at 10.00 each Sunday at their Torrevieja meetinghouse in the Torreaguas building on the corner of Rambla Juan Mateo Garcia 104, close to

the windmill in Torrevieja, 667 533 597.

The rainbow centre for spiri­ tual awareness. Meets in the function room at sackos bar el liminar just off the cv 905 rojales to torrevieja road We have a divine service on Sundays 11am and on Wednesdays we hold an evening of clairvoyance at 7.30pm Also on Wednesdays there is an open circle at 5.45 pm for those who wishing to devel­ op there mediumistic skills.

Healing is available by trained and certificated heal­ ers after each meeting. A warm welcome to friends old and new. The mediums for march are Sun 2nd Debbie Blevins wed 5th Trish Doherty & Jaqueline Holland hunt flowercentience ( bring a flower that no one else has touched ) Sun 9th Belinda Bradley and Sandra Galley wed 12th David Darnbourgh Sun 16th Sammy Fitzimmons wed 19th Suzy Hilton, ( visiting from the uk ) sun 23rd Suzy Hilton, who is being ordained as a minister at this service Wed 26th Morag Bullock, sun 30th Trish Doherty ( mother’s day service ) For further informa­ tion call Trish on 966 844 795 or email therainbowcen­ trecostablanca@gmail.com

CARS FOR SALE Car insurance quotes – new extra discount on fully com­ prehensive policies at the price of third party!

Excellent prices for expats, all policies and call centre staff in English. We will call you back with a quote. 966 923 963

BARBER

INSURANCE CASER SEGUROS ­ for all your insurance needs, home, car, health, funeral.

Policies available in English and German.

Call Professional Business Support on 966 923 963 for a quick quote from our friendly staff.

PERSONAL NEW: Elegant and Seductive Mature (40) Busty (40DD) in Torrevieja. Engl.

Sp. Tel: 642 651 686 11am to 7pm looking for col­ league. (162)

PROPERTY FOR RENT Viva Villa and Vacation Services, For Short or Long Term Rentals visit: www.vil­ laandvacation.com or Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Santiago de la Ribera 2 bed­ room townhouse close to beach and shops with com­ munal pool €350 monthly short or long term lease Call 0044 7890996330 ­ 968570645 (162) Ref: 61, A lovely two bed­ roomed ground floor apart­

CARPENTER

ment, located in the centre of the small Spanish town of Los Montesinos, With a pleasant communal swim­ ming pool adjacent & all amenities in walking dis­ tance. Long and short term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 104, 2 Bedroom apart­ ment in Torrevieja, (near gypsy lane), small balcony, near all amenities and Friday market. €350pcm Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 112, Spacious 3 bed­ room detached villa with its private pool is located on the El Raso urbanisation near Guardamar. Convenient for all amenities, shops, super­ market, restaurants and bars. Short term rental avail­ able. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 63, Two bedroom 1st floor apartment situated in Molino Blanco. The property overlooks a superb commu­ nal pool area, in within walk­ ing distance of bars, restau­ rants and shops. Short or long term rental available.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

LONG TERM RENTALS WANTED! Properties, all types, in the Torrevieja area wanted for long term rentals.

Call us on 96 692 3963

Opportunity to purchase at the off plan price of 195.000 euros. Large 4 Bed, 3 Bath Brand new property. Secure underground parking for 2 cars and communal pool.

Situated opposite Gran Alacant and over looks pro­ jected golf course. Ref No. K52. 627 711 155 Rare opportunity to pur­ chase on Mediterrania III, Gran Alacant. 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, Private Parking, F/Furnished, Large communal pools & Tennis courts S/W facing, Dramatically reduced for quick sale to 126.000 euros.

Ref No. K58 Call 627 711 155 for immediate viewing Lovely Corner property in Novamar V, Gran Alacant. 2 bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms Being sold fully furnished including appliances, Has secure underground parking and faces large oasis com­ munal pool. Walking dis­ tance to beach. 139.000 Euros, Call 627 711 155 and quote Ref No. K10 Don Pueblo, Gran Alacant. 3 Bedrooms, 3 Bathrooms, Large Kitchen with Galleria, Secure underground park­ ing, Gas Central Heating, Glazed in Porch, Solarium with stunning views.

Viewings absolutely essen­ tial. Very large property at reduced price of 190.000 euros. Ref No. K38 Call 627 711 155

CAR HIRE

PROPERTY FOR SALE Ref: KP3100, €183,000.

Three bedroom, two bath­ room detached villa, located in San Luis, on a 450sqm plot, with communal pool.

Garage to side of house.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

CATERING

ALARMS

CLEANERS

43

Friday, March 28, 2014 Immaculate ground floor Duplex, 2 beds, 2 bath, Private Parking, Situated in Novamar, Gran Alacant.

Price includes very tasteful furniture and white goods.

Walking distance to all local amenities and beach. Now only 129,750 euros. Ref No K24. 627 711 155 Ref: 78, €110,000. Three bedroom Quad in Jardin Del Mar VII. There is off­road parking and small storage shed in the enclosed garden area, communal pool near­ by. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 2 Bed, 1 Bath Ground floor duplex. Central heating, Grills, Fully furnished, Glazed in Galleria, 2 com­ munal pools, private parking and walking distance to the Gran Alacant commercial centre. Situated in the popu­ lar urbanisation of Puerto Marino. Now only 96,500 euros for quick sale Ref No. K46. 627 711 155 Recently reduced 4 Bed, 3 Bath Villa, in Gran Alacant.

Quiet Location, Exceptional Views. Converted Under

build, 2 Lounges, 2 Kitchens, Private Garage and being sold Fully Furnished, now only 239.950 Ref: L81 Tel. 680333242 Gran Alacant Detached villa, located in a very sought after location.Situated on a 560m2 S/W facing plot and constructed in 2005.

Comprising of 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms (2 full baths), Lounge­Diner, fully equipped Kitchen, Porch and Solarium with Alicante & Sea Views. ref.L81. €258,000 neg.

Tel. 680333242 Corner Plot Property in the lower end of Gran Alacant. 3 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, Under build, Roof top Solarium Being sold Fully Furnished including White goods. Walking distance to all local amenities. 139.950e Ref. GA0087 Tel. 680333242 Gran Alacant Town House with a difference.

2 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, Glazed in Porch, Quiet Location, Extra storage

CAR BREAKERS

areas, and South Facing Private Pool as well as 2 communal pools. Fully Furnished, All mod cons.

Greenland Views and all local amenities close by.

Ref. No L79. 179.000 euros 680 333 242 Gran Alacant immaculate villa, 3 bedroomed, 3 bath­ roomed property maintained to a very high standard inside and out and the interi­ or furnishings are top quali­ ty, offering a feeling of luxury and good taste. The plot size is 400m2 and has been beautifully tiles, and grav­ eled and has established palms and plants. Oil fired central heating throughout, log effect fire place, ceiling fans in all rooms, towel heater rails, glazed in show­ er units, instant hot water, water purifier, free English TV, phone & internet lines, fitted double hanging wardrobes, safe, glazed in front porch, vanity units and much more. The pool is an 8 X 4 m2 salt water pool, meaning maintenance is much easier plus outside toilet and shower. Sea views

to front with Greenland views to the rear. ref K51. €245,000 Tel 680333242 Ref: 520, €72,000. Two bed­ room apartment in Dream Hills, with a fully equipped kitchen, large lounge, glazed­in terrace and a large solarium. This property comes with a large commu­ nal swimming pool. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 104 Lovely 2 Bedroom Apartment, close to Shops, walking distance to Friday Market and Town Centre and the beach. The property is close to the Habaneres Shopping Centre and Aquapark. Recently refur­ bished apartment in a good central location.

Conveniently situated for all the facilities of this modern vibrant town, and only a few blocks away from Torreviejas excellent sea front with its abundant cafes, restaurants and shops. Price €43950 Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Gran Alacant, Situated in the "Alto" part of Gran Alacant, this 3 bedroomed, 4th floor apartment, offers

DRAINAGE

luxury accommodation, with absolutely stunning sea views, as well as views of Alicante bay and the famous Santa Barbara Castle.The apartment is 89 square meters with open plan kitchen / living room and includes all electrical appli­ ances & furniture also there is a utility room, open ter­ race, and private parking.

The urbanisation also offers many communal pools, ten­ nis courts, restaurants and bars. Ref. K20 €109,000 Tel 680333242 Viva Villa and Vacation Services are pleased to offer property sales for the Torrevieja and Oriheula areas of the Costa Blanca, Spain. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 or Visit : www.villaandvacation.com Gran Alacant villa located in a very quiet area , situated at the end of a cul­de­sac means there is no through traffic.3 bed, 3 bath, 330m2 plot, established large gar­ dens, working fireplace, solar panel for hot water,pri­ vate parking, south facing great views, fully furnished, fantastic opportunity. ref.

L85. €215,000 Tel 680333242 Beach front Line property, over looks Carabassi Beach, Gran Alacant. 2 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, Secure Underground Parking, Fully furnished, Roof Top Solarium. 3 Large Communal Pools, Fantastic communal Gardens, Tennis Courts and much more.

125.000 Euros Ref No. K23.

Tel. 627 711 155 Ref: 709, €60,000 A lovely 1 bedroom apartment in Aguas Nuevas, within a 5 minute walk of the beach.

There is a terrace outside with views to the sea. Short or long term rental available.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Limited Edition Fortaleze in Gran Alacant Exceptionally Large Plot. 4 Bedrooms, 3 Bathrooms, Large Private Pool with Decorative Garden, Private Parking, Electric Gates, Glazed in Porch, Solarium, Under build. Quiet sought after area. Very tastefully fur­ nished and all included 370.000e Ref. K52 Tel. 627711155

PETS

44

Friday, March 28, 2014

Gran Alacant, Situated front line to the famous blue flag beaches of Carabassi, the real beauty of this property is its proximity to the beach, but also on offer is a fantas­ tic communal pool situated in beautifully kept gardens with little Spanish walk ways.Comprising of 2 bed­ rooms, 2 bathrooms, lounge diner, American style kitchen including all appliances, roof top solarium with stunning views, front porch area with front garden and a secure underground garage. fully furnished Ref. K23 €125,000 rare opportunity Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant limited edition villa, not very often available on the market. Only a few of this type were ever con­ structed­ Very large 5 bed­ rooms, 4 bathroom(2 en­ suit) property, situated on a large corner plot with a 10 x 5 private pool and private parking. Lounge­diner with working fireplace, fully equipped kitchen with utility room. Large landing area, leading onto solarium, with extra storage external room.

Front porch area leading into large well established gardens with irrigation sys­ tem and fruit trees. Being sold fully furnished. Within walking distance to Gran Alacant commercial centre and 5 minute drive to Carabassi beaches. ref.

K11. €270,000 Tel 680333242 Ref: 516, €23,950. Studio apartment in San Luis, close to amenities. Open plan fully

equipped kitchen. Good sized lounge, bedroom and out onto balcony which has been glazed to create another room. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Lovely clean detached Villa just as you enter Gran Alacant. Very central loca­ tion, 3 Bedrooms, 3 Bathrooms, Glazed in Porch, Garden Shed, Private Parking, Attractive Gardens, Private pool Ref: K59 240.000e Tel. 627711155 Large 4 Bedroom, 4 Bathroom, 2 Kitchens, 2 Lounges, 600m2+ plot Large Retractable Glazed in Pool for all year swimming, Private Parking for 4 cars, Very low­maintenance, Fully Furnished. 330.000e but Negotiable. Very different to the other properties in Gran Alacant and is disabled friendly Ref: L80 Tel. 680333242 Mid Terraced Townhouse on Avda Polognia, Gran Alacant Furnished to a very high standard and includes White Goods. 3 Bed, 2 Bath, Lounge Diner, Fully convert­ ed Under build offering a second lounge and large storage area. Roof top Solarium, Glazed in galleria with extended worktops.

Front Garden with BBQ, Communal Pool with Gardens. 132.000e Ref. K16 Tel. 627711155 Semi­Detached Villa with Open Greenland Views to the Rear and Alicante Views to the Front, means this property in Gran Alacant

RAG AND BONE

PLUMBERS

POOL TABLES

would appeal to anybody looking for a quiet location.

Comprising of 3 Bedrooms, 3 Bathrooms, Lounge diner, with working Fire place, Porch, Solarium, Established Gardens and Private Pool, Private Parking on a large plot.

265.000e Ref. L95 Tel. 680333242 Ground Floor Duplex, on the Monte y Mar estate of Gran Alacant. 3 Bedrooms, 1 Bathroom, Fully furnished, Private Parking, Communal pool Ref. GA0094 NOw only 83.000e Tel. 680333242 Gran Alacant, detached villa in desirable road close to all amenities, comprising of 3 double bedrooms, 3 baths, lounge diner with working fire place, brand new kitchen with all appliances and black granite work tops, private pool, plot of 550m2, established irrigated gar­

dens and fruit trees, private parking, solarium, also there is a converted under build giving more bedrooms ,bathroom & kitchen, this house has many extras and is being sold fully furnished.

Ref.k47. €280,000 neg Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant large detached villa with 3 double bed­ rooms, 2 bathrooms, lounge­diner, fully equipped kitchen, large porch, roof top solarium, 400 m2 Plot, with established low mainte­ nance very private gardens with irrigation system, elec­ tronic gates, private parking, outside wc, sink & shower, terraces, air con ( h & c ), mosquito nets, grills, alarmed, large spa pool with separate Jacuzzi section.

Within easy walking dis­ tance to Gran Alacant com­ mercial centre and close to local bus and tram route.

REMOVALS

Ref K33. €260,000 neg Tel 680333242 Offers Invited on a mid Terraced Town house in Gran Alacant. Comprising of 3 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, Lounge Diner, Galleria, Solarium, Under build.

Communal Pool and Gardens, and with Exceptional Views of Alicante. Being Sold Fully Furnished including White Goods. Ref. K42 Tel. 627711155 (reasonable offers only) 2 Bedroom, 2 Bathroom, Unfurnished Mid Terraced Townhouse in GA. Recently decorated throughout means this property is a very clean black canvass.

Has Air­Con & Security Grills and the use of a Communal Pool. Price recently reduced to 110.000e Ref.K12 Tel. 627711155 Reduced for a quick sale to 95.000 e 2 Bedroom, 1 bath­ room, Top Floor Duplex in Gran Alacant. Very Modern Property with Many extras.

Glazed in Porch, Roof Top Solarium, Wooden Flooring.

Immaculate condition and ready to move in. Ref. K15 Tel. 627711155.

Gran Alacant, Situated on the very first urbanisation as you enter Gran Alacant, this 2nd floor duplex offers taste and quality. Comprising of 2 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, lounge­diner, independent kitchen, full roof­top solari­ um with superb views and recently glazed in porch offering extra living area as well as extra privacy as the glass is mirrored. Ref.K44 €108,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant south­facing, very private villa, with wood­ land and Alicante views.

Situated at the end of a small cul­de­sac which means this villa enjoys a very peaceful location.3 Bedrooms with fitted wardrobes, 3 Bathrooms, lounge­diner with working fireplace, fully fitted kitchen with including white goods, large front porch, solarium,workshop and stor­ age in under build, central heating, air con H/C, ceiling fans, grills, UK T.V, off road parking and plenty of out­ side parking also. Due to its orientation of this property enjoys full sun, all day, something very important in the winter months. Ref.K24. €237,000 Tel 680333242

and German language is a bonus but not essential.

Training and good earnings guaranteed. For more info call 644 126 600 or email info@radicocostainterna­ tional.com OP Group Spain are seek­ ing 2 enthusiastic people to join their expanding team.

Position 1 is for an experi­ enced office administrator at their La Finca Golf office.

Position 2 is for an experi­ enced sales negotiator for their La Marina office. The ideal candidates will speak English and at least one other language and will have good knowledge of the local real estate market.

Both positions are full time with contracts and competi­ tive rates of pay. Please send your CV’s into Stuart on stuart.markham @opgroupspain.com or call 966729653 Chef required. Must have at least 5 years experience and health / hygiene certifi­ cate. Have flare for new menus and able to work on own initiative. Guardamar area. 672929585

SITUATIONS WANTED Gardening, property mainte­ nance, translations, cheap rates call David 722521654.

SOLICITORS Need English speaking solicitors in Torrevieja? Let us help to solve your prob­ lems with debt recovery, divorce, property, fraud, criminal defence. Call us on 966 923 963, give us brief details and get in touch with your specialist solicitor today

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QUIZZES Experienced quiz­ master/question setter with personality available to host quiz nights in local bars.

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Friday, March 28, 2014

Greenside Gossip

45

IVIE DAVIES takes a weekly look at the golf scene - golfdavies@gmail.com

EUROPEAN TOUR STARTS TO LISTEN

The European Tour has announced a number of changes to its Final Series following last year's criticism of the inaugural format. Former Open champion Ernie Els was among those annoyed at the regulation which required players to compete in two of the first three events to be eligible for the season­ending DP World Tour Championship. The South African did not fulfill that criteria ­ along with Sergio Garcia and Charl Schwartzel ­ and was therefore not in Dubai last November as European Tour chief executive George O'Grady promised a review of the regulations.

It looks like the Final Series is moving in the right direction, to help the members come and play in as many of the four events as possible. If you play more, you have a better chance of winning the Race to Dubai. And also by increasing the bonus pool and making it the top 15, they are all great incentives for us to play.

The entry criteria for the WGC­HSBC Champions event has also been altered, with the number of places available for winners of European Tour events reduced from 20 to 10 and the number from the Race to Dubai increased from five to 15. The European Tour seems to be listening to its member­ ship and aware that there was some fine tuning required to the overall structure of the Final Series to make an already excellent product even better and get the top players there.

The changes they are announcing should do just that.'

STROKE THEM, NOT FINE THEM! As expected, that review has led to the playing requirement being scrapped, while the bonus pool has been increased from $3.75million to $5m and will be shared among the top 15 players after the DP World Tour Championship rather than the top 10. The field for that event has also been changed to feature the leading 60 available players from the Race to Dubai after the preceding Turkish Airlines Open, rather than only those finishing inside the top 60. With Els, Garcia, Schwartzel and the injured Alex Noren missing, only 56 players competed last year.

The Tour has also introduced an enhanced points system for 2014. At the end of the Perth International ­ the final regular event of the season ­ prize money on the Race to Dubai will be converted into points (one euro equaling one point). Each Final Series event will then carry a total of 10million points, with the winner receiving 1,666,600. The changes were made after discussions with the Tour's tournament commit­ tee and welcomed by Chairman, Thomas Bjorn.

The new regulations and the new points system are a good move. It means if you miss some of those events, it will be difficult to win the Race to Dubai, so there is an incentive to play in as many Final Series events as possible. The goal was to get the top players to play in the Final Series and this should help do that.

Sergio Garcia and Charl Schwartzel also gave their approval, with Garcia adding: “I'm very happy with the changes and I'm looking forward to the Final Series. At the end of the day, we are all working together. I'm very happy to see that we've reached a middle ground which should help make us all happy.”

Schwartzel admitted he was considering his future as a European Tour member following the row last year, but said: “I will always try to support the European Tour when I can and it's great to see that they are also trying to look after us with these new rules”.

The issue of slow play has plagued professional golf again, this time at the Valspar Championship at the start of this month, where chronic slow­boat Kevin Na got put on the clock during the third round at Innisbrook and along with Robert Garrigus, finished nearly 20 minutes behind the group in front. Of course, no penalty strokes were levied.

SIGH!!

This age­old story never seems to go away, despite TV view­ ers and especially spectators at the event suffering with such gaps in the action. For whatever reasons, PGA Tour commissioner Tim Finchem doesn't view this as a major concern; hence his rules officials are not vigilant in assess­ ing penalties. So here we are again, wondering what to do and how to do it.

It is important to note that slow play as it relates to profes­ sional golf does not offer easy answers. Field sizes often make it difficult to get players moving around a course. And to say that professional golfers should traverse a course in 4 hours because everyday players do, misses the point. Tour courses are set up severely, and these golfers are playing for big money. It's their job, and they are going to take time to ponder shots, read greens. While it is easy to say they should get around faster than they do, reality suggests oth­

KNOW YOUR RULES Agreement to concede putts In a match, the two players agree to concede all putts of a specific length. Is this legal?

A: NO B: YES, because they agreed jointly.

C: YES, because it’s a local rule and speeds up the speed of play.

ANSWER: NO. The players agree to exclude Rule 1­1 and should be disqualified under Rule 1–3. Under Rule 2­4, the only stroke that maybe conceded is the “next stroke” and it cannot be conceded in advance.

erwise.

Still, there is an eye test here that can't be missed. It often appears that players can be faster and the pre­shot routines have become laborious. The lack of readiness when it is a player's turn is shameful. And in the case of Kevin Na, he simply can be painfully slow, as he was again on the Saturday at Innisbrook. But Na has improved significantly in this area, and it is obvious he is sensitive to the criticism.

Garrigus, one of the game's faster players, even acknowl­ edged this. "He is a lot faster now," Garrigus said.

Na had his famous issues at the Players Championship two years ago where he had difficulty pulling the trigger and sev­ eral times swung over the top of the ball because he was not ready to hit. He was fidgety to the point of uneasiness.

Kevin Na said, "I've improved 90 percent. I'm very conscious of the players in front of me and behind me always looking.

I've got a lot of compliments, which I appreciate."

Good for Na, but still not good enough. And this is certainly not meant to pick on him, as there are plenty of dawdlers in professional golf. There are structures in place for slow­play issues, based on the number of warnings a player gets. But it has been said many times, nothing will really change unless players get penalised strokes for their slowness.

It's simple: Once a group is out of position, as deemed by the rules official, any slow time results in a one­stroke penal­ ty. Players are given 60 seconds to hit if they are first and 40 seconds if they are playing second. While it might throw them out of their rhythm, the fear of a penalty will clearly get them moving.

Most of the time, however, it never comes to that. Players can be slow and never get out of position. Field sizes, course setups and weather conditions can all play a role in slow play, and sometimes it is justified. But if you really want to get them playing faster, make the threat of stroke penal­ ties real. Tournaments can be won or lost in such instances, and the discussion over such penalties would serve as a very real threat! Hopefully, the knock on effect will be at amateur club level for those who copy the Tour players

TITTER ON THE TEE Tony gave his posh girlfriend a beautiful fur coat made from Skunk's skins.

She said. "Oh thank you very much it's so beautiful I am amazed that such a gorgeous coat could come from such a stinking little beast."

Tony said "Push off then, I didn’t expect gratitude but there’s no need to get personal”

46

Friday, March 28, 2014

REAL’S BAD WEEK Ilicitanos block Bilbao SEVILLA 2 REAL MADRID 1

Real Madrid's title challenge unravelled on Wednesday night as they suffered back­to­ back defeats with a 2­1 loss at Sevilla, which means they are 3 points off the top of the table.

All appeared to be well when Cristiano Ronaldo put them ahead, but a host of

missed chances and a Carlos Bacca brace condemned them to defeat. The night ended on a tense note too as Ronaldo openly com­ plained at Gareth Bale taking an injury­time free­kick ahead of him and putting it into the stands. Real Madrid entertain Real Vallecano this Saturday night.

Valdes blow for Barca BARCELONA 3 CELTA VIGO 0

Goals from Neymar and Lionel Messi meant Barcelona kept up the pressure on title rivals Atletico and Real Madrid with a comfort­ able 3­0 Wednesday win over Celta Vigo, which means they are just 1 point off the top spot held by Atletico.

But the evening turned sour when Victor Valdes was carried off with a serious knee injury that could rule him out of the World Cup. He struggled to hold onto a first half free kick and landed on his right knee as he gath­ ered the ball, and was seen crying as he was stretchered off. Barcelona are away to Espanyol this Saturday afternoon.

ELCHE 0 ATHLETIC BILBAO 0

After the weekend defeat at Granada, Elche picked up a priceless point in their battle against relegation as they held high­flying Athletic Bilbao to a goalless draw at the Martinez Valera stadium on Tuesday night. Elche’s defence held firm and haven’t conceded a goal in

their previous five home fixtures, and with a strong wind blowing, coupled with their resolution, they starved the Basque visitors of any proper chances in what was largely a turgid night of action. Elche are away to Villarreal this Sunday evening.

CLASSIC EL CLASICO REAL MADRID 3 BARCELONA 4

Granadaland defeat GRANADA 1 ELCHE 0

Elche suffered a one­nil defeat at old rivals Granada last Saturday, but in truth the margin should have been more.

Yacine Brahimi's strike midway through the second half settled the contest in favour of the home side, but then Fran

Rico missed from the spot in the 73rd minute after Elche defender Cristian Sapunaru had been sent off for bringing down Youssef El Arabi. Moreno fired over the bar in stoppage time to miss out on a last gasp Elche equaliser.

Monte not good enough CD MURADA 2 CD MONTESINOS 1

A below­par Montesinos performance handed them their first league defeat of 2014, and realistically snuffed out their pro­ motion chances for another season. With Edu and Rodridgo missing, Vaz was the lone striker for Monte, who found it difficult to get going. It was an insipid first half effort and unrecognisable from the team that had done so well in the last couple of months, and they conceded a soft goal in the 20th minute, thanks to some shocking defend­ ing.

Monte though levelled things up early in

the 2nd half, with a blistering Vaz strike making it one­all, and then a Orouker free­ kick bounced off the crossbar. With the wind behind them, Monte failed to make hay, and Murada deservedly took all three points with an excellent free kick which beat Christian in goal. An inept day at the office for Monte, but at least they can look forward to a gift­wrapped Sunday afternoon against the town’s other side, Todo Deporte, who they thrashed earlier in the season, and who have yet to win. The kick­off time is at 5.00pm.

Lionel Messi's hat­trick sealed all three points for Barcelona on Sunday as they defeated arch rivals Real Madrid 4­3 in a thrilling El Clasico on a record­breaking night for the Argentinian. Andres Iniesta fired Barcelona into the lead after seven minutes with a thunderous left­footed finish from Messi's pass. Madrid then scored twice in the space of four minutes, with Karim Benzema getting both. Barcelona equalised through Messi three minutes from the break, who surpassed Alfredo Di

Stefano's total of 18 goals in El Clasico matches.

However, Madrid moved back in front after Cristiano Ronaldo converted a penalty which he controversially won after initial contact on him was made outside the box.

Sergio Ramos was sent off after appearing to pull back Neymar, which resulted in Messi bringing Barca level from the penalty, and after Iniesta was upended in the box Messi converted a second penalty to com­ plete his hat­trick six minutes from time.

TORRY FIZZ OUT NOVELDA 3 FC TORREVIEJA 1

Sunday’s defeat at Novelda does not mathematically end Torrevieja’s play­off hopes, but only the delusional will now hold on to any such thoughts, with the side now 8 points adrift from the fourth spot held by Paterna. Torry were outplayed for the first half, trailing 2­0 at the interval, but made a spirited fight of it in the second period.

Pastor and Valdeolivas came off the bench returning from injury and when Dani Meseguer's screaming free kick made it 2­1 on 75 minutes, it looked like a point might be won. Dani's straight red card three minutes later put paid to those wild notions and Novelda added a third at the death.

This Sunday, FC Torrevieja host Cullera who are sixth in the table and still have an eye on promotion. The game definitely kicks

off at 5.00pm, and not at noon as has been reported elsewhere.

Friday, March 28, 2014

47

ARE TOTTENHAM TIM’S

TANTRUMS TOO GALL-ING? I admit to having a soft spot for Spurs that goes back to the super Sixties when Billy Nicholson’s team reigned supreme: Mackay, Greaves, Blanchflower etc. Then on through the years of the Martins, Peters and Chivers, Glen Hoddle, Ossie Ardiles, Gary Lineker, Paul Gascoigne (don’t mention the 1991 Cup Final) and darling­diver Jurgen Klinsmann, Spurs fans have always enjoyed first­class quality football, heavy on the class, with the word ‘glory’ always paraded round the ground. At The Lane, they insist on their own tradi­ tion of stylish football, winning with style.

After a poor patch in the noughties, experienced foot­ ball manager Harry Redknapp took over and soon seemed to have got it right, returning the Lilywhites back to being a respected top six team again, in the process winning the hearts and minds of the faithful fans.

But due to England flat­ tery and chair­ man Daniel Levy’s subse­ quent unhappi­ ness with events, out went Harry, to be replaced by u n p o p u l a r Portuguese Andre Villas­ Boas. The Gareth Bale sale saga eventually meant Spurs sold one man and with the money bought half a team of talent from all over the world: Brazilians,

Nordics, and Continentals (including some Carlos Kickaballs saying Tim’s tactics at half time did the trick. Loyally spoken a la Alan Sugar).

Christian, at a key time for Sherwood. In the modern era, the Although staying near contention, Spurs stayed in the buzzword for managerial success – or failure – is whether shadows of their hated nasty­neighbours Arsenal, the North the incumbent has the backing of ‘the dressing room’.

London rivals always doing it better. A few really bad results Following the Chelsea choker, the players held a ‘thrash­it­ and AVB went the way of Harry ­ and in a classic Levy knee­ all­out’ meeting behind closed doors where everyone got jerk reaction young/old Spurs son Tim Sherwood came in. everything off their chests ­ apparently. But whatever hap­ The boy quickly done well, soon arresting the slide and pened, it didn’t seem to work, as Benfica then showed quickly acquired an 18­month contract as Spurs supremo everyone up, players and manager alike. The following on the strength of it: nice one, Tim. Sunday in the sacred North London derby, Arsenal just did it But it’s all going Pete Tong again: two weeks ago Spurs better in all departments, clearly displaying showing the were hammered 4 – 0 by Chelsea. That hurt – and an Gunners tremendous team spirit that Spurs conspicuously incandescent Sherwood publicly accused his players of lack. lacking ‘gut’ and ‘character’. But if that guv’nor gaff wasn’t Sherwood has demonstrated that although he clearly bad enough, the rookie manager lost it again clearly on loves the club, he lacks the maturity and experience neces­ TV as Spurs were easily swept away at White Hart sary to manage a huge world­respected club like Tottenham Lane by a slick Benfica side. The cameras of the Hotspur. So what will Levy do now as Spurs contemplate world were treated to another display of pure another also­ran season with nothing which had promised personal petulance from temperamental Tim, ill­ so much, when their detested close rivals are riding higher advisedly taking on Jorge Jesus, the Denis in the Prem, and in the last four of the Cup? This team is Law lookalike Benfica manager. Tim, ironical­ worth a fortune, and as that old football joke goes, Spurs are ly and stupidly made accusations of his good on paper, but **** on grass.

The loud whisper is that the current Dutch manger Louis opposite number ‘lacking class’ ­ but it was the young pretender who lacked that quali­ van Gall wants to take the Tottenham team back to the glory ty as he crossed the line in management days. Is the writing on the wall for Tim at The Lane? Has he behaviour in European eyes, as well as gone too far, becoming the act himself, instead of letting his domestic ones. In the return at Benfica, team do the talking? Another huge game on Sunday sees Spurs drew but performed better, though Spurs at Anfield, where Liverpool are back to their imperious Tim didn’t with his post­matchcrass com­ best, once more entering unto the breach for the Premier title. Tottenham will not need a bad defeat, where the spot­ ments: ‘They were running scared. It was good light will be on Sherwood again as the cameras roll. Will he to see their manager sweating as much as last? If he doesn’t, he will leave a load of very expensive he did. I didn't see a suave character, he football mercenaries behind at a colossal club in crisis – looked really flustered. It was worth the once again. entrance fee to see that’. Hmm… L a s t Saturday, MURCIA 36 ITV ORIHUELA 10 Spurs were 2 – 0 down to a lively Southampton side, but came back to win 3 – 2 with a late Sigurdsson winner.

The talented Dane, Christian Eriksen scored the first two, and was quoted as

Orihuela finish on a loss

GIRLS GET GOLD

Despite early resistance, ITV Orihuela gave way under pressure in their final first team league match of the season away to a Murcia side that dominated the

scrums and mauls. The result sees Orihuela finish fourth in the table, with the winners Albacete progressing into the play­offs.

Conquering Kuhn

Club Natacion Torrevieja’s younger swim­ mers were involved in two trophy competi­ tions last weekend battling it out against 13 other clubs in the Alicante Region at the San Vicente del Raspeig pool. 14 Torrevieja

swimmers took part with a number of them taking part in their first ever trophy contests.

Amongst the highlights, Zoe Connolly and Piroska Rideg both won their 50 metre back­ stroke and breaststroke races.

Talented Torrevieja ten­ nis teenager, Nicola Kuhn (pictured at the back in white), has added yet another victo­ ry to his long list of suc­ cesses, as he beat Marcos Sanz in the recent Valencian Cadet Under­16 tournament.

Friday, March 28, 2014

48

WATCH YER ’IDES! Caesar’s March Ides could doom Prince David

Those nasty neighbours of Man United are eyeing their title as the Blues brothers turned Old Trafford into the Theatre of Nightmares.

Cruel criticism is now even com­ ing Fergie’s way as United’s ex­ stars are breaking the Omerta code of silence and criticising their mediocre men. At Old Trafford the cynical has­beens are having their day: Cole, Yorke, Butt, Scholes etc are all queuing up to put the knives in’ ‘Ey lad, ‘tweren’t like this in maa day…’ Wayne Rooney apart, at the self­styled ‘Theatre of Dreams’ Moyes’ unsure United look pedestrian in pace as pre­ viously lesser mortals tear them apart. What about the acerbic accusation that David Moyes has turned Manchester United into Everton ­ of old, that is? The Toffees were always a sound, if unspectacular team of triers who never won anything, but always promised to… Harsh? Possibly, but even harsher is the view that Moyes had taken Everton as far as HE could ­ and then along comes that nice young Spaniard Roberto Martinez to take the Toffees on to higher, more excit­ ing levels and excite the Goodison faithful.

Meanwhile back in Mancunia, is the burden of expectancy at Old Trafford too much for the players?

United have the best away record in the league, last week at reviving West Ham the Red Devils looked in total control, easily winning their sixth game on the road this season. But at home, the Theatrical Dreams are becoming the supporters’ worst nightmares as reviled local yokels, firstly Liverpool, then Man City have embarrassingly humiliated the reigning champi­ ons in their own back yard, all the while as the won­ dering world watches in awe. Another huge potential­ ly­disastrous Old Trafford test is coming Saturday

John McGregor reports

against very variable Villa who can ruin anyone’s day ­ just ask Chelsea (see you at the tribunal, Jose). Early doors its eyes down for football’s latest lottery on Saturday – can’t wait!

Last Tuesday night, it took all of 43 seconds for City to announce the Blues Boys arrival at their nasty neigh­ bours’ house. With second­choice striker Dzeko scor­ ing in the first minute, plus terrific tough­guy Toure bossing it everywhere (17 vital goals from midfield holding 3rd place in the Prem), plus the family Silva polished to perfection, it’s City’s title to lose now: two games in hand, and just three points behind Chelsea.

But also with their own resurgent return to reality are Liverpool who eased past world­weary worried Sunderland on Wednesday, in the Reds’ seventh win in a row. Now for Temperamental Tim’s Tottenham team of triers at Anfield Sunday tea time.

Who’d be a Gooner then? It’s that time of year again, déjà vu at The Emirates as everything starts to slip away – again. Last Saturday, Arsene’s 1,000th match party was rudely ruined, Arsenal gate­crushed 6 – 0 by Chelsea at the Bridge, with confused ref Andre Marriner somehow stupidly sending off the wrong man. Four days later, the Gunners were nearly beaten at home by those slippery Swans from South Wales, the result eventually a dishonourable draw, draining Arsene’s Army of any lingering chance of the League title. Arsenal’s only hope of seasonal success now is the FA Cup: in the semi­final they face wacky old Wigan on 12th April. Oh, and those Man City slickers are coming to The Emirates for Saturday tea.

Saucy scenario: Newcastle dug­out, phone rings, harassed assistant manager John Carver snatches it up: ’Why aye, ‘oos that?’

‘Hi John, it’s Alan here ­ how are we doing?’

‘Bad, boss; Everton are hammering us 3 – 0! What shall I do?’

‘Use your head, man!’

‘Hey boss, you did that last week, and look where it got us!’

Yes, the Magpies wings were clipped by a super­effi­ cient Everton, where first Ross Barkley looks to be booked into the departure lounge to Brazil with a superb solo goal after a blistering run, followed by a team­built Lukako goal, and finished off in fine style

by Osman. S.B. easy­peasy on Sunday as Martinez’s men travel to the capital to take on Felix’s floundering, flailing Fulham. Newcastle travel to Southampton – with their ‘head’master prodigal Pardew back to prowl his patch!

If it’s tough at the top, it’s even tougher at the bottom with seven­ish to go, some have more. Down among the nearly­dead men there’s a 26 pointer at The Hawthorns on Saturday, as the Baggies take on the poor old Red Bluebirds from the Welsh capital, where the news is good and bad. Good Cardiff news: scored three last week at Liverpool. Bad news: Liverpool hit six. Crystal Palace nervously host fellow Londoners Chelsea Saturday, who will no doubt be in unfriendly non­neighbourly mood, wishing to stay top after capi­ tal­murdering Arsenal. Liverpool’s SAS are old hat­ tricks stuff, now it’s the Super SSS Show with big, ugly centre back Skrtel adding two to join Sturridge and Suarez. Those two super strikers are displaying telepathic twinny talents, first and second leading Prem scorers in the Prem with 28 and 19: phenomenal figures.

Hey, Big Sam rightly turned nasty after his Hammers 2 ­1 home win over ten­men Hull this week: ‘I’ve never been in a place where I’ve won and got booed. Fans affect players…’. Well said Sam, after what you and t’management have done this season to keep the now 11th placed Hammers up, ungrateful wretches.