Week 148 by TKO Media

Edition 148

www.thecourier.es

Friday, December 20, 2013

CHOPPER DRAMA

Brit rescued from the Black Wall

Photo: La Verdad

A 62 year old British mountaineer had to be winched to safety on Wednesday lunchtime after falling on the Pared Negra (Black Wall) of Orihuela. The unnamed female had been climbing with three friends on the Sierra de Orihuela, overlooking the city, when they all fell, but she was the only one to suffer serious injuries. The Black Wall is a favourite climbing area for both Spanish and

foreign visitors. Emergency services were scrambled to the scene with a doctor calling in a fire rescue helicopter after he decided that it was too risky for her to be moved conventionally because of the severity of her injuries. She was hoisted out via a stretcher and taken to Alicante General Hospital, where it was later confirmed that she had suf足 fered spinal and brain injuries.

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Friday, December 20, 2013

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96 692 1003 679 096 309 965 99 66 66 EMAIL office@thecourier.es WEB www.thecourier.es HEAD OFFICE Calle Luis Canovas Martinez 1. Urb Aguas Nuevas, Torrevieja 03183, ALICANTE PHONE: 96 692 1003 Email: office@thecourier.es OPENING HOURS Mon Fri 1030 to 1730 EDITOR Alex Trelinski CONSULTANT EDITOR Donna Gee ADVERTISING SALES 966 921 003 office@thecourier.es TELESALES 966 921 003 679 096 309 Sally Los Alcazares, San Javier 618 391 491 Myra Quesada, Rojales, Torrevieja, San Miguel Tel. 618 583 765 Jean La Zenia, Playa Flamenca, Cabo Roig Tel. 618 898 034 Patrick International Rep 5 Languages Tel 685 901 265 Donna Tel 616 332 178 Writers Donna Gee Sally Bengtsson Jeanette Erath Alex Trelinski Dave Silver Tony Mayes John McGregor

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Picture of the Week

JUNGLE DRUMS

Torre Horadada and the harbour. Photo by BERNADETTE GODDARD

The price of austerity Police “balls-up” A family has died after eating outofdate food they found whilst raiding bins because they could not make ends meet. The father, a 61 year old unemployed plumber and his 50 year old wife perished after suffering nau sea and vomiting, as did their 14yearold daughter. Their other daughter, aged 13, was taken to hospital in a critical condition. Neighbours say the family from of Alcalá de Guadaira in Sevilla province started to feel ill after eating tinned fish for dinner, which may have gone off, with the 13 year old not hav ing eaten it. But she still fell ill, and initial autopsies suggest that some kind of toxic poisoning may have happened, though full results are not expected for a few weeks. Neighbours say the parents used to get up

every day at 7.00am to collect up cardboard boxes and pieces of plastic discarded on the streets in order to try to sell them, and per suaded supermarkets to give them food which was just about to go past its useby date, which they ate or sold at reduced prices. They had no other income since the father, who had worked as one of the 'rec ommended repairers' in his area for a house hold insurance company, had been made redundant early on in the financial crisis and had not managed to find work since. Their groundfloor flat had been embar goed by the bank for nonpayment of the mortgage, but they had not been evicted and there was no suggestion they were due to be in the foreseeable future.

Valcarcel’s empty promise

Murcia’s San Javier airport will remain open for at least the 2014 summer season. The deadline has passed for flights to be allocated slots for the first part of 2014, and that means that the “new” airport at Corvera cannot realistically come into play until autumn at the earliest. This is contrary to all the promises early in the autumn from the Murcia President, Ramon Luis Valcarcel that a deal would be “signed soon” with airport operator, AENA, to transfer operations to Corvera in time for the spring of 2014. In a radio interview this week, the President claimed that “negotiations were going well”. A com plicated legal wrangle over running Corvera airport showed no signs of being resolved, and AENA who Valcarcel claimed would be interested in taking over from the “sacked” operator, Aeromur, have publicly backed away from the move.

A Catalan copper who blew off the testicles of a suspect with a stun grenade will spend a year behind bars and have to pay the vic tim 168 thousand Euros in damages. The Supreme Court ruled that the Barcelona policeman should be suspended for a year, as well as spending the same time period in jail for what he did 5 years ago. The cop was part of a tac tical unit who arrested two violent extortionists. His boss gave him the order to arrest them when they were getting into their car, and authorised the use of stun grenades as the suspects

were known to be martial arts experts as well as own ing two dangerous dogs. The aim was to disorientate them with the stun grenades cause temporary loss of hearing and balance when detonated. But when the suspects refused to get out of the vehicle, the officer in question threw his stun grenade on one of the men's lap. The blast caused the victim to lose all of his left testicle and most of his right, leaving the 25 year old infer tile for the rest of his life.

WANTED – MORE HEADLINE NEWS! DO YOU have a story that might grab the headlines? What’s all the gossip about round your way? A spate of robberies, perhaps – or maybe you’ve spotted a celebrity in the neighbourhood. Whether your news involves fire, police, ambulance, accidents – or hap

pier events like family weddings (particularly Golden and Diamond ones!), Just phone the Courier office on 966 921 003 or email office@thecourier.es We’re waiting for your call…and next week’s Front Page story.

Friday Showers High 14 Low 10° Chance of rain 55% Monday Partly cloudy High 17 Low 8° Chance of rain 17%

Tuesday Sunny High 17° Low 10° Chance of rain 18%

Saturday Partly cloudy High 16° Low 7° Chance of rain 19% Wednesday Showers High 17° Low 9° Chance of rain 60%

Sunday Partly cloudy High 18° Low 7° Chance of rain 44% Thursday Sunny High 21° Low 10° Chance of rain 0%

Friday, December 20, 2013

ELCHE IN EURO QUIZ Murcia cops clash

Elche Football Club are one of several top Spanish clubs being investigated by the European Commission over alleged illegal state aid. The newlypromoted outfit are under the spotlight along with their La Liga colleagues, Real Madrid and Barcelona, in addition to Osasuna, Athletic Bilbao, and Valencia, in addition to the second tier Alicante club,

Five National Police offi cers suffered minor injuries last Saturday during a mass protest in Murcia City, one of several demonstrations against the new Security Bill that took place across the country. One of the detainees was reportedly stopped and ordered to produce his ID after dis playing 'very aggressive and hostile behaviour' and is said to have refused to do so. He is then believed to have called another 20 or so people over who 'sur Hercules. The Spanish Foreign Ministry in Spain rounded and insulted' the announced that the EC would begin pro officers, issuing 'threats'. Authorities say one man ceedings against the clubs over a variety of factors. Elche have been bracketed managed to grab hold of a together with Valencia and Hercules police officer, shaking him because of the help they received from the regional Valencian Government in the form of loans and guarantees.

SIGHT SAVER

Torrevieja Hospital has pioneered a new way of diagnosing glaucoma and other causes of eye disease. It’s a contact lens with a microchip in it. Clinical trials by the hospital’s eye department have proved to be promising allowing 24 hour monitoring of eye pressure and the changes to the optic nerve. Over a million people in Spain aged over 40 suffer from glaucoma, with around half that number not knowing that they have it.

Electricity shocker

Electricity prices are to be hiked for home customers by over 11% in the New Year, after a big rise in yesterday’s quarterly wholesale auction. The rise has also been inflat ed by a reduction in the gov ernment tariff subsidy.

violently and removing his gun, truncheon and riot shield. But organisers of the demonstration, who accompanied the two arrested parties to the police station with a solici tor, say it was the police officers rather than the pro

testers who were aggres sive and claim they have video footage to prove this. Over in Madrid, several protestors were arrested as they clashed with riot police close to the Parliament building. More than two dozen people were injured.

STAND AND DELIVER

A British couple who fell victim to a highway robbery have recovered their stolen goods and the thieves have been arrested. National Police say they tried to pull over a motorbike which turned out to be carrying a 35yearold Algerian and a 39 year old Palestinian national on the motorway near Valencia airport, close to El Saler. The riders had appar ently made a 'suspicious' manoeuvre when they saw police officers nearby, and ignored orders to stop. At precisely this moment, the same

policemen were alerted by their control centre that a British couple had been robbed on the motorway. Their tyre had been punctured and, when they got out of the car to investigate, two men on a motorbike stole one of their bags which contained valuable items. Cops caught up with the motorbike, inspected their bags and found that one of them belonged to the British victims. The two men were immediately arrested and the bag returned intact to its rightful own ers.

Rojales Council is to spend 30 thousand Euros out of its own coffers on improving the ailing Principe de España School because it is “almost a ruin”. With no more money com ing from the Valencian authorities, the coun cil has ringfenced some additional resources for basic repairs out of a new annual budget of 12 million Euros which was

approved last week: an increase of 1 mil lion Euros. There will be 70 thousand Euros to help struggling residents who cannot even pay for their electricity or water, whilst 700 thousand Euros have been allocated to make improvements in urbanisations, Rojales Town Centre, and also Heredades village.

MORE FOR SCHOOL

N332 BOOST

Work on upgrading the N332 road into a dualcar riageway as it passes through Torrevieja could start in 2015 after city officials reached a deal with Madrid government chiefs on Wednesday. Plans also include major improve ments to the accident and bot tleneck area of the CV95 Los Balcones road.

Friday, December 20, 2013

RYANAIR’S COSTLY FLUSH COSTA PLANS XMAS GIFT

Orihuela Costa’s Three Kings Parade will follow a new route this January 5th, leaving Calle Nicolás de Bussy at 5.00pm on the Sunday afternoon, finishing at Zenia Boulevard, where the Magi will meet the children. Councillor for the Coast, Martina Scheurer, said the event gets bigger and better every year and this will be the largest one yet. Zenia Boulevard manager, Almudena Soubrier, added that her centre will sponsor the parade and they’ll have their own float as well. The Town Hall has also organised a Christmas market on the Boulevard car park which starts today (Friday) and runs until Sunday, and on Sunday December 29th, there’ll be a concert on the Playa Flamenca seafront esplanade.

Alicante City’s Central Market loos have had to put on locks on their paper dis pensers because thieves have been opening up the units and stealing the whole load, rather than taking a sheet or two after washing their hands. In most cases, the paper was just being dumped into the toilets which then got clogged up on flush ing because of the sheer vol ume.

Ryanair have slashed their excess baggage charges from £20 per kilo to £10 per kilo, in what the low cost carrier has brand ed as “an early Christmas present” for its passengers. The change will bring it in line with rivals such as Easyjet and BMI regional, who also charge £10 per

kilo for excess baggage, and Wizz Air, which charges £9. The carrier reported a fall in profits ear lier this year and has been forced to introduce more customer friendly meas ures including a 24 hour postbooking “grace” period for mistakes to be correct ed online.

LOCAL TOLL ROAD “BUST”

STUBBED OUT

The company that owns and operates the AP7 motorway between Alicante and Cartagena is set to go bankrupt according to reports from the Information newspaper. The operator AUSUR is said by the paper to have been refused further funding from banks, with a loan deadline of today (Friday). The economic crisis has seen traffic levels on the AP7 fall by 17% over the last 5 years, with 10 other major Spanish toll roads already in bankruptcy. Ecigarettes are to be banned in schools and hospitals in Spain. "The goal is to protect people's health and avoid pos sible adverse effects," said Health Minister Ana Mato. The ban on the use of the batterypowered devices, which con tain liquid nicotine that is turned into a vapour when inhaled, will also apply to health centres, public administration build ings and public transport. The health ministry reached an agreement to impose restrictions on the use of ecigarettes with the health departments of Spain's 17 regional govern ments, which are responsible for healthcare. Minors are already banned from using ecigarettes, and the regions of Catalonia and Andalusia have recently announced similar bans on their use in public places.

FOOD BOOST

“UNIQUE” PARAMOUNT

XMAS CHEER

To r r e v i e j a ’ s Christmas Market started yesterday (Thursday) and will run until Sunday, with the stalls open between 9.00am and 8.00pm. Over 32 traders are involved with the market being staged for the first time in the pedestrianized city streets. The main focus of

120 people i n v a d e d Villananitos beach at San Pedro del Pinatar at the weekend but it was all a pre planned exercise. It was a training session for Cruz Roja volunteers in dealing with a mass arrival of illegal immigrants. Dozens of “extras” were treated for conditions like hypothermia

or dehydration, with a field hospital being put up on the beach in just a matter of min utes.

Caviar anybody?

the market will be around Calle Conception, and there will be entertainment for all ages, including a chance to make your own troll!

A Paraguayan woman who fell from a fourth floor apart ment of an Elche apartment and was seriously injured last month, will not have to pay for her health care, despite not have a SIP card. Her 24 year old partner, allegedly pushed her out of the flat on Calle Juan Ramon Jimenez, but a police investigation is still continuing, though the man now has a restraining order against him. The Paraguayan consul in Elche was helping to raise money to pay the woman’s bills, though the Department of Health have now said that she will not be charged for her treatment, which includes a hip recon struction and a raft of future operations.

Stan says he’s not the man

Murcia’s Tourism Minister, Pedro Alberto Cruz, says that the Paramount Theme Park will offer some of the most unique attractions in the world for a park of its kind. He claims that the attraction, which is slated to be completed in 2015, will offer 3D and 4D expe riences for some 90% of the rides. He added that lessons had to be learned from the controversial construction of the debtladen Terra Mitica park in Benidorm, where a number of officials behind the project are facing corruption charges. No official date though for the start of the construction of the Paramount Park has yet been set.

Beach invasion

The Torrevieja Dining Club has made sure that it’s going to be a better Xmas for those in need in the Rojales area. They’ve donated 1500 Euros of food to Rojales council to distribute in their region. The Club made up of over 80 British expats has given over 20 thousand Euros to local charities since they first got together 24 years ago.

NO CHARGE

4.3 million Euros will be spent by the Costa Blanca Tourist Board next year to promote the area, a boost of 6% on this year’s budget. A large proportion of the resources will be spent on trying to entice more visitors from what is a regard ed as a lucrative Russian and East European market.

A plea hearing at a Molina de Segura courthouse on Monday heard a Romanian man, Constantin Stan, plead not guilty to the murder of Dutch couple, Ingrid Visser and Ludewijk Severin in Molina back in May. He alleged that fel low accused Juan Basin and Valentin Ion had confessed to killing the pair in “selfdefence”. It emerged last week that Stan (pictured with a greeting to news photographers) was sentenced to 16 years in his native Romania for robbery. The couple’s disappearance when they arrived in Murcia in May sparked a nationwide search before their bodies were found a week later.

SCENE OPEN

San Pedro del Pinatar is just one of many centres across the area that has inaugu rated its municipal belén (Nativity Scene) for this festive season. Based in the town’s Plaza de la Constitución, it will be open until the evening of Sunday

January 5TH, just ahead of the Three Kings celebra tions.

Friday, December 20, 2013

NEW TEAM AT HAH

Four members of the troubled local charity Help at Home Costa Blanca: the past pres ident Marivi Cuelia Nerva, plus three of her supporters, came another step closer to being formally expelled from the charity at a special meeting last week. The motion to start the expulsion process against them was voted in unanimously by a packed meeting where those present agreed the four had "deliberately prevented and placed obstacles in the way of accomplishing the social aims of the charity" and had "inten

tionally or wilfully obstructed the lawful func tioning of the governing or representative bodies of the Association". The charity voted in a new president, Eileen Mayes, secretary Ken Farquhar and treasurer Eileen Evett, plus new deputies and a working committee. The charity's founder and first president, Norah Bond, was unanimously elected fund raising coordinator. Help at Home Costa Blanca should not be confused with Help at Home Mar Menor, which is an entirely sepa rate charity.

FERRY GOOD

A new ferry route will allow direct travel between Ireland and Spain via the sea from next month. The week ly service, operated by LD Lines, will link the southern Irish port town of Wexford with St Nazaire on the west coast of France and Gijón in northern Spain. "It's the first service of its kind to Ireland," Ireland's Tourism Minister Leo Varadkar told The Irish Times. "It's great news for our tourism industry and it

provides a valuable new land bridge from France and Spain into Ireland". Rosslare (Wexford) – Gijón service

fares start from 579 Euros for a car and two passen gers including cabin accom modation.

time he was going too fast and had been on the phone to a colleague moments earlier. Drivers will, however, be allowed to use mobile phones in emergencies. This is one

of a number of measures to improve safety on board Spanish trains after one of the coun try’s worst rail disasters, which will include plans to install data recorders like those used on planes to get a more complete picture of inci dents.

PHONE BAN

Train drivers will be barred from using mobile phones after July’s Santiago de Compostela train crash that killed 79 people. The train’s driver said at the

Friday, December 20, 2013

editor@thecourier.es COURIER POSTBAG: YOUR VIEWS ON OUR NEWS

The filling station lawyer YOU invite experiences of legal ripoffs. Here's my two penn’orth. Following the death of my wife in 2007 I decided to write a new will. And, because of the nature of my late wife's estate had to obtain probate in the UK. I sought advice and was recommend ed the services of a solicitor with English qualifications who practised with a Spanish partner in Spain. To prepare my will I was taken to a Notary in Elx. We met in the forecourt of a filling station! I was given no preliminary advice about what I should take, nor about pay ment. At the Notary's the will had to be retyped four time because of errors in construction, spelling of names and

legal niceties. In order to obtain probate I was required to obtain a translation of the Spanish law confirming that I was enti tled to inherit my wife's estate under English law. When the document was presented to the Probate Office it was rejected because it was not signed, dated or stamped. It took several months and £2,500 to get matters sorted out at a distressing time for me and my family. If you choose to use any of this mate rial please do not use my name or address. NAME AND ADDRESS SUPPLIED, Torrevieja

YOU ask about rip off solicitors. My husband died two years ago. We had £1,000 of Premium Bonds in joint names. Being upset at the time I instructed my English solicitor to sell them for me. No big deal, I thought. A cheque was final ly put into my Halifax Bank for £912! Need I say more? JESS THOMSON, Ciudad Quesada

WHY WON’T THEY REFUND MY CASH? FURTHER to Donna Gee’s article regard ing unethical lawyers (Issue 147), I bought a property in Camposol a few years ago. The contract said if the title deeds were not issued in two years I would get double my money back. Two years passed. The original lawyers were not very effective in sorting out the problem so I went online and was advised by a Spanish/English part nership to take the vendor to court. They would need €3,000 as a down payment towards court fees and expenses, which I paid. The lawyer sent the vendor a letter and the vendor called me immediately. We then sorted the problem out between ourselves and came to an agreement. Court action was now not necessary and the lawyer agreed to take no further action. However, the lawyers have kept all of my €3,000, despite promis ing to send me a refund, despite my many emails, phone calls (from Scotland), sleepless nights, loss of voice due to the stress, writing to the Spanish Law Society, who eventually ignored me after asking me to send my complaint by letter in Spanish (to which I had to pay a translator), despite my lawyer in Spain requesting a refund and being ignored, despite my

DON’T FORGET YOUR CONTACT INFORMATION Letters and emails will only be considered for publication on this page if an address and contact number are provided in case we need to call you.

Premium to cash in bonds

THE COURIER MANAGEMENT DOES NOT NECESSARILY AGREE WITH THE VIEWS EXPRESSED IN THE LETTERS ON THIS PAGE

asking The Judge in the Scottish Sunday Mail to help, who was also ignored. They were happy enough to help until they got my money and then nothing. Also, the Spanish lawyer understood my English when I spoke to him on the phone until I asked for a refund. Then all of sudden his English was 'not so good' so he referred me back to his English counterpart. I have pleaded with her to do as she said and refund my money (excluding fees for their time etc) but have been totally blanked ever since. I have been wondering if there are any other steps I can take to try to get some of my money back but am at a loss. I really cannot afford to simply discard this money and could really be doing with it now that I have relo cated to Spain. I'm thinking 'name and shame' but this wouldn't get me my money back! Also would there be any repercussions? Happy to take any advice... CAROL CHALMERS, Playa Flamenca We have asked the Spanish firm at the cen tre of Carol’s complaint for their side of the story and hope to publish their response in next week’s Courier.

Ryanair sold me a fast-class ricket!

I'M not one for bashing Ryanair, and I have always found their flights to be good and on time, and with good service to boot. But I experienced last month at Alicante Airport something that could have ended up being similar to the Easyjet flight from the Costa del Sol which took off for the UK with half the passengers left forgotten at the gate.

I joined a queue for a flight to East Midlands Airport, with the gate number absolutely clear that I was in the right place. When I reached the bottom of the stairs, I was told, along with people behind me, that I was in the speedy boarding line (which I shouldn't have been), but it had not been made at all clear. We refused to move, blam

ing their lack of signing, and they relented, giving the impression that they were somehow doing us all a favour, rather than admitting their mistake. On boarding, we noticed the flight only seemed to be half full. Voices were raised amongst the crew as the non speedy boarders had been left queuing at a totally differ ent gate, and had been "for

gotten". The flight left half an hour late after the stragglers were picked up. It was a poor show with the finger of blame surely pointed at a combina tion of Ryanair and a lack of organisation by the airport authorities. STUART GREVESON, Los Montesinos WELL, talk about making a guff of things! I would like to apologise to all my col

leagues and supporters of Charity 4 Charities for wrong ly stating last week that since 2007, the Charity had raised over €40,000. I missed out a number, it should have read €140,000. And it's all been given out to the many Charities we’ve supported over the years. Well done to everyone. SANDRA KNOTT, President, C4C

Friday, December 20, 2013

AFTER seven years in Spain, I’m still struggling to come to terms with this country’s maniac motorists. The tragic deaths recently of for mer Fleet Street editor Brian Hitchen and his wife Nelli merely emphasised my disgust at the way many Spaniards drive. Hitch, my boss at the Daily Star back in the late 1980s, and his mis sus were knocked down by a car as they crossed the road in Altea. And while I am in no position to judge the motorist involved, I find it hard to believe the elderly couple were entirely responsible for their own demise. In a country where most of life’s meanderings seem to happen in slow motion, it’s amazing how many Spaniards think it’s cool to drive like Speedy Gonzales. I get the impression that half the nation has no grey matter in the brain box. Statistics don’t lie and the fact is that Britain had fewer people (28) killed on the roads last year pro rata to population than any other EU nation apart from little Malta. Official figures show that Spain’s record has improved in recent years and they are now among the six safest with 41 killed in 2012 but it takes some believing that the figure was not much higher. The Spanish are inconsiderate and ungrateful on the highways – including pedestrians. The vast majority wouldn’t dream of acknowledging you for pulling up at a crossing to give them safe pas sage. Anyone who smiles, waves or nods is almost certain to be a

THE SAD, MAD WORLD OF SPEEDY GONZALES Brit. Then there’s the fiasco of the way people park their vehicles, which all have an obligatory dent and/or unsightly scrape down one side. The busier the day, the more chaotic the scene. Cars left on a corner with the rear end jutting six feet into the junction. Cars parked on pedestrian crossings. Or even in the middle of the road with driver inside if Jose fancies a natter about the Barca result. I make a point of trying to avoid left turns into busy roads because left you most certainly are. Left to wait indefinitely – or until a consid erate expat comes to your rescue. Los Locos de la Carretera come in many shapes and sizes like the middleaged boy racer who zooms up behind you like a Toro Rosso (the animal, the racing car or both) then locks horns with your rear bumper, left indicator winking to prove he really is one of the Grandest of Prix. My answer to these guys has always been to slow down until the ‘bullock brains’ back off. But in these days of roadrage violence,

: ROAD VICTIMS: Brian and Nelli Hitchen at the wedding of their son

everything but the problem of how to use them was inflated because so many people had passed their driving test before they were even thought about. To help anyone who is confused (which is just about all of us), the following is taken from the Spanish equivalent of the Highway Code.

I’m happy to consider alternative suggestions for dealing with Speedy and his fellow fools. These are the same plonkers who do the unthinkable – and make a point of overtaking as they enter roundabouts. The British brain (safety first) automatically assumes the perime ter lane is for going straight ahead or exiting right – and the left lane for turning left. Or something along those lines. But no, in Spain the left lane is effectively an OVERTAKING lane. Which is why I was almost killed while braving the hazards of an Elche roundabout a while back. I was heading straight on in the perimeter lane when daring Don Quicksuit flew past on my inside and turned right, inches ahead of my car’s bonnet. Fortunately I reacted quickly enough to avoid a serious smash but how many inno

cent motorists have been injured or even killed by such stupid manoeu vres? Apparently roundabouts didn’t exist until Spain joined the EU. Billions of EU money changed

“When there is more than one lane on a roundabout, you will nor mally travel around the roundabout in the right hand lane – the outside of the roundabout”. So what is the inside lane for? “To carry out an overtake or if the lane is signed for your direction of travel”. And what should you do if you’re on the inside and want to exit and someone is blocking your way? “Under no circumstances should a driver cut the course of other vehicles using the roundabout in order to exit from it.” In other words, take care – or that Magic Roundabout experi ence could well be a Tragic one.

Giving up on the Yanks REGULAR readers of this column (both of you) know I am no lover of the way American ‘culture’ is effectively turning Britain into a satel lite US state. It’s bad enough that the Yanks treat ed us like Country Pumpkins by clan destinely killing off Guy Fawkes and replacing Bonfire

Night with their annual Petrify the Pensioners evening. Masked fiveyear olds demanding ‘candy’ from little old ladies anyone for menace? Halloween is one thing but I despair when I hear a highly respected BBC TV presenter like Gabby Logan asking the audience at the

Sports Personality of the Year show to ‘‘give it up’’ for one of the contenders. Give up what? Speaking English? The Yanks are welcome to wear those hoods and trunks they keep in their cars. But if they keep inflicting their silly language on us, I swear I’ll boot them in the bonnet.

Friday, December 20, 2013

READ ALL ABOUT IT!

I popped into the pub the other day and witnessed a wondrous sight. No, not the Hanging Gardens of Babylon nor (with apologies to Basil Fawlty) herds of wildebeest sweep ing majestically across the plain (carpet). It was the oldest member of our pub discussion group, Ol' Red Eyes, sitting bolt upright on a bar stool, poring over a newspaper. The man himself, usually to be found in a semicoma on the hostelry floor, actually resembled a fullyfunc

tioning human being. The transformation in Ol' Red Eyes had attracted a crowd of pub regulars who were certainly not used to seeing their friend and drinking colleague in an upperbody vertical position. We all just stood there with mouths agape, staring in disbelief at the guy who was tutting with mild reproof as he turned the pages of his paper. 'I have never seen Ol' Red Eyes so animated,' gasped Fag Ash Bill. Mind you, Bill had hardly observed Ol' Red Eyes in any condition because, although very much a pub regular, he rarely entered the premises, prefer ring instead to stand outside, smoking his neverending supply of cigarettes. But as word got round that Ol' Red Eyes was performing normal functions such as reading and tutting and all this while sitting up even Fag

Ash Bill had been tempted to stub out his ciggy and ven ture into the pub to see such a rare spectacle for himself. So there we were, clus tered around Ol' Red Eyes, rubbernecking as he skimmed through his upmar ket broadsheet. Apart from the rustling of determinedly turned newspaper pages interspersed with the sounds of tsktsk emerging from the lips of what some people might describe unkindly as a slightlyanimated cadaver, there was an awestruck silence in the tavern. And then The Man himself spoke! 'I don't know why I bother reading the newspaper. There's nothing in it,' declared Ol' Red Eyes. Dave the barman broke the reverential spell by chuckling at Ol' Red Eyes' expense. 'But you only peruse the obituaries and that's just to make sure your name isn't included. Therefore it's no wonder you find there's less to read.' Fag Ash Bill blanched to

the roots of his nicotine stained hair. 'What are you telling me? Lester Reed is in the obits. When did he die? I used to buy my fags from his baccy shop. We were very close.' 'Huh?' the other pub regu lars chorused. 'I said "less to read" not Lester Reed!' Dave the bar man pointed out to Fag Ash Bill who had to be revived with a glass of mein host's watereddown gin and a cou ple of wafts of a bar towel. Indoor Lou, the latest and sanest member of the pub discussion group, shook his head. 'Once again, I have to state that in all my years on this mortal coil I have never, ever encountered such a group of crazies. You are all quite mad. 'I should walk out of here this instant,' he went on, 'But I'm afraid it is too late. I have become institutionalised.' We grabbed Ol' Red Eyes' glass of diluted gin and passed it to Indoor Lou because the poor guy looked like he needed it.

And then Ol' Red Eyes spoke again: 'I do NOT just read the obituaries. I study the situations vacant column because I want to find a vacant situation. I used to be a school teacher, you know, and wish to return to the groves of academe.' 'What's the old boy talking about?' the other pub regu lars chorused. 'Isn't it something to do with Plato?' ventured Indoor Lou who was feeling a bit better now. 'Plato?' I said. 'Are you crazy? What's Mickey Mouse's dog got to do with this?' Daft Barry, who until now had remained silent, spoke up. 'That Dave Silver thinks he's so clever but he's dafter than I am. Even I know that Plato was a philosopher in classical Greece.' 'I've had enough!' I declared, putting on my coat. 'I'm off to that pub Ol' Red Eyes used to go to. Can someone please tell me which street The Groves of Academe is on?'

Friday, December 20, 2013

BE A XMAS FRIEND TO A DOG

It will certainly be a silent night and a very cold night for many homeless dogs this Christmas in Spain. As people enjoy the festivities in their warm houses, there will be thousands of dogs roaming the streets in search for some food and a warm place to sleep. There will be other dogs living in horrendous condi tions, in the killing stations, up and down Spain. If we all did just one act of kindness this Christmas for the homeless dogs, it would go a long way. Whether it be giving a dog in the street some food, or offering a forever home or even a foster home to one of these dogs. Think about how cold it has been recently. There are so many suffering dogs out there it is terrible to see. When people say that dogs do not feel the cold, because they have all that fur, that is complete rub bish. That is a bit like saying, "If a human is dressed, they will not feel the cold". I understand that you are all probably very busy at this time of year, but if you are read ing this, you must love dogs, so let’s remem

ber them this Christmas with some kindness and compassion. Even if you see a dog in the street and they are too fearful to approach you, if you leave them some food, they will eat it when you are gone. Us humans take so many things in life for grant ed. Regular meals of our choice; a roof over our heads; or a warm bed to sleep in at night. Just imagine if these comforts were taken away from you. To be cold and hungry with nowhere to go is a desperate situation. Add to that the fact that many of these dogs are sick, well in my opinion it does not get much worse than that. I help homeless dogs through our charity we have started and there is nothing like that look of appreciation you get from those big brown eyes. It is always an emotional and moving moment. To see a dog who has had nothing all of their lives, finally eating a good meal and snuggling into a warm blanket is something I will never tire of watching. In return a dog then gives you something really special and that is their heart for life. No species on earth can beat the loyalty and love of a dog. They give humans so much, but as a species, they get back so little.

So this Christmas Eve, it will be a silent night and a cold night outside, but if we all promise one act of kindness to the homeless dogs, Santa Claus would have come to town for them. Merry Christmas to you all and thank you for reading my column throughout the year. See you in 2014! I am available for consultations through out the Costa Blanca region, if you are hav ing problems with your furry best friend. To book a consultation you can Email me at peter@thedogyouneed.com and I will con

tact you straight away or you can call me on 966 847 827. We have also set up an animal charity, where we help the most severely abused and injured animals in Spain. If you would be kind enough to donate anything to this special cause you can do by PayPal, where the account details are peter@thedo gyouneed.com or to our Nat West charity account, where the sort code is 601603 and the account number is 73754900. Even one Euro will help, so please, please, try and support us. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

PETS’ CORNER: CAN YOU TAKE IN A HOMELESS DOG OR CAT? KIRA is now 1 year old and came into our care in July of this year. Sadly this lovely girl is still waiting patiently for the right person to come along and love her, giving her the opportunity to enjoy family life as she deserves. Kira is now fully vaccinated, micro chipped and spayed and would be a very loving and loyal companion. If you would like to come and see Kira, please contact us on 966710047 or email info@satanimalrescue.com

Lola is a nearly 3 year old cross Labrador/Alsatian mix we think. She is super friendly and loving to her current owners and all peo ple she meets. She goes out of her way to find children to play with whom she absolu tely adores. For more info 650 304 746 or Email: p.e.p.a.animalcharity@gmail .com

Contact 616655789 for more details www.cats ndogsaid.com Lola

Kira Tessa was found on a road in La Hoya, she is a very happy little 4 month old puppy, she looks like a Belgian Shepherd cross and will be medium size when fully grown. Call: 645 469 253. www.petsinspain.com

Tessa

Amber is a Labrador Type dog. She has a really sweet nature, is very quiet and very loving. She walks well on the lead. Her owner became very ill and could no longer care for her. Amber loves people. She is about 2 years old, she has been spayed and she has a full passport.

Amber

Harry is part of a litter of 9 puppies who were abando ned in a cardboard box at a few weeks old. He is a medium sized dog with a lovely nature. If you would like to meet Harry and his brothers and sisters, please contact Yvonne on 630 422 563.

RIO is a 9 month old, Mastin Cross. He had been seen wan dering near a river for several days. Since he has been with us he has put on weight and has a bit more growing to do. He mixes well with all his kennel mates and is a big, bouncy, happy boy who is fully vaccina ted, micro chipped and castra ted. Please call 966710047 or email info@satanimalrescue.com

Sonny is a very sweet little dog, 4 years old. He is chip ped and neutered and needs a new home as his owner can no longer take him for walks. He is quiet in the house, in fact the perfect small dog companion. Call: 645 469 253. www.petsins pain.com

Harry

Rio

Sonny

Friday, December 20, 2013

PANTO IS GREAT FAMILY FUN My son recently had his first taste of the theatre last weekend when he had a walkon part in the pan tomime Aladdin, at San Fulgencio´s Cardenal Belluga theatre. At first he said he wanted to do it but as the day approached he changed his mind, however I knew this was just nerves and explained that he would enjoy it when the time came. I wouldn´t have pushed him into it if he had said he didn´t want to but I was glad that his introduction to being on the stage was a simple non dancing, nonspeaking part. Of course he´s been on stage before in school shows but this was his first time in a production such as this, and he ended up having a great time and wanted to do it again and again! On the last night, all the children in his walk on group stayed behind and watched the second half, and as I was sitting with them watching, I began to think about pan tomimes. I speak to a lot of Spanish people of course

and I have tried to explain what a panto is, but usually I get as far as saying the names of a few, such as Snow White or Cinderella, and say that there is singing and dancing and it´s a show for all the family and espe cially children. I realised the reason I keep my explana tions so simple is because I am not sure how to explain to someone who knows nothing about panto. How do

you put over the fact that the main male characters are played by women and that some female characters are played by men who are dressed up in over the top clothes and make up? That the male lead, played by a woman, usually falls in love with the female lead, played by a woman, and the love story is normally the link in the show; and that there is a lot of thigh slapping and the

audience is encouraged to take part! The pantomime is such a Christmas tradition in the UK that it would be hard to find someone there who doesn´t know what one is, and it was good to see so many British families bringing their chil dren to the show to keep the tradition alive in this little part of Spain. To be fair, in this area panto is not known at all. The Spanish like the the

atre but somehow pan tomime has never made it to this part of the world. In the UK, the famous faces that appear in a show get paid a lot of money for just a few weeks work, and that famil iar personality can sell a panto, getting young and old alike into the seats. Here in Spain there is no such carrot to be waved, and it is left to the amateur groups to do their best with a difficult medium, and, in this case, their best they did. It seemed a shame that there were only three shows. I know how much work goes into any stage production: the months of practise, learning lines, making scenery and costumes and of course learning the songs and dances. But I´m sure every one involved had a great time at every part of the process and will all enjoy a welldeserved rest now it´s over. A pantomime is a fun piece of art to watch and join in with from the audience perspective and the children seemed transfixed by it. I

hope in the coming year we all support our local drama groups, as they raise money for local charities and deserve our support, and how else can we enjoy a night at the theatre in our native language? The panto cross dressing never seemed to phase my son, and in fact as we pulled up outside the theatre for the matinee, the dame was out side, and my little fella just assumed it was a woman, as I said “Look at her” he didn´t flinch or reply with “It´s a man!” He just accepted it. I wonder if he even noticed and does it matter to a six year old anyway? From a tradition that started hun dreds of years ago and developed into the show we see today, generations have been entertained with good old fashioned clean humour that the whole family can enjoy together, from grand parents to grandchildren. No matter what your age is, a pantomime is the show to see together, and in a way, what could be more Spanish?

Friday, December 20, 2013

INSPECTOR IS JUST BLOWING SMOKE

SIR Michael Wilshaw says that grammar schools do nothing for poor children and are crammed full of kids from middle class homes. This guy is England’s chief inspector of schools,

and he seems to be missing a key point. There are loads of dreadful nonselective schools across the country, and you’d love to find out what he plans to do to raise their standards, rather than blowing around this particu

lar smokescreen. A lot of the existing grammar establish ments are in the “shire” counties, so inevitably the make up of them will be socially skewed in a particu lar direction. That still hasn’t stopped youngsters from

disadvantaged backgrounds in those areas going to them and getting a better start to life, which Sir Michael seems to have forgotten about. Full marks to Health Secretary, Jeremy Hunt, for making it known that they plan to extend NHS hospital services to the weekends, which senior doctors like to take off to have a round of golf or to host dinner parties. Health provision must not stop just because it is a Saturday or a Sunday, and since other health staff work on a rota, it’s time that the big boys chipped in as well to reduce the higher weekend mortali ty rates. Remember that far from cutting resources, the Tories have put more real money into the NHS, and the only response from Labour’s

Health spokesman, Andy Burnham, is to bleat about where the money is going to come from. Surely Labour ought to be pleased with this health boost, or is it that they just can’t bring themselves to acknowledge that NHS investment has risen when they have been in opposi tion? Ed Miliband will be tucking into his turkey next week and I’m sure pon dering a change or two for the New Year. The Labour leader will I’m sure be think ing that he’s got the perfect excuse for dumping the intransigent Ed Balls as his shadow chancellor. Whilst Miliband has won respect for admitting mistakes that Labour made when they were in charge, Balls contin ues to live in denial that his party had anything to with

the economic mess they left Britain in back in 2010. With the UK economy improving and Balls looking totally unsure of himself in a dread ful House of Commons speech recently, Miliband has the perfect chance to stick the knife in, which should come as second nature to him, having done the deed to his older brother over 3 years ago! Please do not misun derstand me. Nelson Mandela was an exceptional figure but with the almost nonstop coverage by some sections of the media, notably the BBC, during the build up to the great man’s funeral, it does make you wonder a little bit about the bile and gross imbalance there was earlier this year in regard to Margaret Thatcher, when she died.

LÍNEA DIRECTA REPORTS ON DRIVING IN WINTER Línea Directa is one of the key players in the fight to reduce the number of acci dents on our roads. For almost 20 years, it has promoted research into accident rates in order to encourage safe driving habits. Due to the risks involved with driv ing in winter months, it now offers advice on how to act in adverse weather condi tions.

With respect to the car: 1. Check your car, especially the mechanical components. Pay attention to brakes, lights, windscreen wipers and brake fluid, antifreeze and oil levels. 2. Don’t forget to check the condition of your tyres including the spare wheel, checking pressure, tread and the grooves of each tyre, which must have a minimum depth of 1.6mm. 3. Always take a reflective jacket, two warning triangles and a torch with you. Also ensure that your mobile is charged in case you need to use it in an emergency.

With respect to driving: 1. If you often drive in snow, consider buying winter tyres. In any case, avoid any sudden movements and, as a general rule, do not overtake. Take special care with snow which has turned into ice and always drive at low speeds. 2. If it is foggy or raining, adapt your speed and distance from the vehicle ahead to the weather conditions. Do not brake suddenly to avoid skidding. 3. Aim the vehicle’s heating system at the windows to prevent them from fogging up as a result of humidity. 4. When overtaking, reaching crossroads, leaving tunnels and in open spaces, be careful with any sudden gusts of wind, which might lead to a loss of steering and the vehicle overturning.

Call now for more information on 902 123 104

Friday, December 20, 2013

Tony

Mayes

HE ALWAYS HAS SOMETHING TO SHOUT ABOUT

TIME UP FOR CHILD BENEFIT LEECHES

Remember those horrendous stories of British single women having one child after another, often with multi ple partners, simply to enable them to live on benefits for most of their lives, sponging on those who work while they sit back and breed football teams? Some of these wretched women even boasted of their lifestyle choice, saying how stupid others were to go out to work all day while they could have it all provided for them and breed the next generation of benefit scroungers. I sug gested at the time that benefits should be restricted to two or possibly three children, and if women chose to give birth to more it was not the responsibility of the rest of us to pay for their upbringing. It was music to my ears, therefore, to learn that yet another proposal from this column is now being advocated by the Conservatives. If they win outright at the next election they will restrict benefits to two children only for those born after 2015 and block claims for the third and more children born after that date. It means that people will have to think seriously (for the first time in generations) whether they can actually afford to raise an additional child, and not expect the State to pick up the tab. Predictably, the wretched Lib Dems and Labour bitterly oppose the move no doubt wanting as many people to be born dependent on the State and more likely to vote any thing but Tory. They say it will increase the number of people living in poverty. No, it means that people will have to start living in a more responsible way, not expecting everyone else to pick up the tab. Do we really want to continue to breed more D’s and E’s in society who do little to properly educate, control or set a good example to the offspring they produce? That way we simply will not be able to compete in a world where other countries have increasing number of parents who have more social responsibilities and don't always look at ways to get as much out of the rest of us with out putting anything into society. This is why it is so vital that come the next UK election, a government is elected that will raise standards in society moral and financial. On that point, could it be the penny is beginning to drop over which party would be best in government after 2015? In a major survey in the UK, people were asked whether they thought they would be worse off, better off or about the same if Ed Milliband's Labour party had won the last election and were in power today. The majority said they would be worse off or about the same. I would hazard a guess they would have been far worse off. Labour would have embarked on a policy of spending your way out of the recession. As a result, interest rates would have risen; people would have been thrown out of work; more people would have got into debt; people would have lost their homes; and taxes would have had to go up. As it is, the economy is on the mend, with unemployment dropping, and interest rates are at their low est ever. All that prat Balls and his leader can cling on to is that shop prices are rising faster than wages. That's true, but

GET WET

Santa Pola is getting a water ski park in time for the sum mer, on land next to Pola Park. It’ll be first in the Valencia region and one of the few in Europe offering all kind of water activities throughout the year including flyboarding, wake boarding and snowboarding. There’ll be nearly 9 thousand square metres of water area, with a depth of 1.4 metres.

since when can any government dictate salaries within pri vate firms? And if the brake was taken off state workers' pay, the only thing that would happen is that Britain would have to borrow more to pay the bill, resulting in everything I have described in the previous paragraph. The economy safe in Labour's hands? Just look at their previous record! How sickening it was to read yet again that there was not one but two serious attacks on people by danger ous dogs in the UK last week. One young pregnant woman was attacked and killed by an outofcontrol American pit bull, while a man was seriously injured and his dog was left fighting for its life after a Staffordshire bull terrier attacked them while they were out for a walk. A 27yearold mother of four was attacked by two pit bulls in Leeds, and died some hours later in hospital. The other attack was in a park in Manchester. The owner of a spaniel was walking in a park when his pet was set upon by the bull terrier which ripped out part of the Spaniel's stomach. The man was injured try ing to get the two dogs apart, while a man who was with the attacking dog probably not the owner tried to get instruc tions on what to do over his mobile phone! This nonsense over dogs has to stop. It's all very well saying the problem is not the dogs' fault but that of the owners. You could say the same over carrying a gun, but thankfully it is unlawful to carry guns or other lethal weapons in Britain and it should be the same with dogs. Firstly every dog should be licensed, and the fee should be a meaningful sum to deter those who think owning a "macho' dog is fun, a status symbol, or is pro tection. Secondly, more powers should be given to the RSPCA to enable them to more easily inspect homes where there are animals and if necessary seize them. Thirdly, it should be mandatory for people who own dogs to have to insure them, so that if they attack a person, or another ani mal, there is automatic compensation for the victim. Perhaps all that should be introduced in Spain too it may reduce the dog population and restrict ownership to the more responsi ble. And it could even drastically cut the huge volume of dog

dirt we still find everywhere. The filth in the streets and public spaces here in the Costa is still an absolute disgrace. Do you watch those ridiculously nauseous UK TV adverts from pay day loan company Wonga and hanker

about getting hold of those puppets with those dreadful voic es and throttle them? I know I do, and my feelings extend to the leeches calling themselves responsible lenders. Do you know that a payday loan advert is broadcast every 78 sec onds and TV plugs for these dreadful highinterest loans were seen 7.5billion times last year? Yes billions, not mil lions. It would take 138 days to watch all the adverts back to back. It's sickening that these commercials are also being shown at times when children and young teenagers are like ly to be watching suckering them into the vicious debt spi ral. Just imagine the vast fortune going from these blood sucking companies into TV companies' coffers and guess where the money has come from? Yes, straight from the people who can least afford it, being clobbered by interest rates of 4,000% or more. These companies should be swept from the face of the earth and replaced by credit unions with respectable rates of interest. And any loan sharks trying to extort high interest on loans should be jailed. No ifs, no buts, just jailed!

Last week, looting spread across Argentina when police went on strike. Hundreds more people were injured as some elements took advantage and raided homes, shops and offices, whilst the cops refused to go out on patrol until their pay demands were met. Some areas of the country escaped the trouble after regional governors doubled police officers' pay. And this is the crazy country that has the bare faced cheek to think it is a fit and proper one to take control of the Falkland Islands, which wants to remain British. Argentinians, wouldn't you think a bit of British law and order might be far better than the disgrace you are experiencing?

Lettuce tell you BE CAREFUL

The Murcia region continues to be in the vanguard of let tuce growing and exporting in Europe. Latest figures show lettuce production to be up by over 7% this year, with Murcia accounting for 13% of all lettuce that’s grown in the European Union. Iceberg, with 81%, leads the lettuce popularity charts, with Baby Gem trailing way behind on 14%. Murcia grows over 70% of Spain’s let tuces and rakes in 400 million Euros a year through the industry.

With the peak Xmas and Three Kings shopping season in full swing, the National Police have warned people to beware of pickpockets and con artists operating in busy areas throughout Spain. They’ve also cautioned over the infamous “tocomocho” scam where unsuspecting victims are told they may get a cut of a lottery win if they caught up some money, but all they get from the street vendor are a bunch of news paper clippings. Extra street patrols are being introduced over the holiday period around the country to counter the crooks.

Friday, December 20, 2013

SAY IT IN SPANISH Learn the lingo - with a little help from JEANETTE ERATH Spanish 102 This week we are going to learn some phrases in Spanish relating to Christmas, words and sentences that you can say to your Spanish friends and neighbours, giving you the best opportunity to practise your spoken and written Spanish. Firstly we will learn the words that are the most important at this time of year: Christmas = la navidad, Christmas Eve = nochebuena, New years Eve = nochevieja, New Year = Año nuevo, Father Christmas = Papá Noel o Santa Claus, Reindeer = el reno, Christmas tree = El árbol de navidad, presents = los regalos, the fairy = el hada Firstly we will look at what you can write in your Christmas cards, these are not very common in Spain but of course they are a typical British tradi tion and I am sure the Spaniards that you know will be very interested in our customs and that they will be delighted with a card. So, what can we write inside? I like to write in Spanish and the translation in English, especially for those friends who have shown an inter est in our language, it´s a fun way to learn a new phrase, so here are a few you may wish to include: Hope, peace and love for you this Christmas – Esperanza, paz y amor para ti esta Navidad May you have the best of Christmas this year and all your dreams come true. – Ojalá tengas lo mejor de la Navidad este año y todos sus sueños se conviertan en realidad

May the peace and joy of Christmas live in your heart in new year – Ojalá la paz y la alegría de la Navidad viva en tu corazón en el año nuevo. Merry Christmas! With many good wishes for Christmas and the coming year. – ¡Feliz Navidad!. Con muchos buenos deseos para la Navidad y el año que viene. I hope your wishes come true this Christmas. – Espero que tus deseos se hagan realidad en esta Navidad. Or there is the basic, Merry Christmas and a happy new year, which is Feliz Navidad y prospero Año Nuevo. But if you are talking to someone and you want to with them a Merry Christmas you just need to say: Feliz Navidad If you remember from my lesson on subjunctive tenses or you remember how I finish this article some weeks you will

know how to say ´have a good Christmas´ it´s the same way as saying ´have a good day´ or week etc. Have a think about how it is said before reading on. Have a good day is – que tengas un buen día so have a good Christmas will be? that´s right – que tengas una buena navidad or of course as we all like to shorten words and phrases you could just say tengas una buena navidad or just buena navidad Some useful phrases about Christmas are. What do you want for Christmas? ¿qué quieres para navidad? What are you doing on Christmas Eve/ New Years Eve? ¿Qué vas a hacer (qué haces) en nochebuena/ nochevie ja? You can, of course, say the date, i.e what are you doing on the 25th which is ¿Qué haces en el día veinticinco? I´m going to spend Christmas with my....family, husband, wife, child(ren) – voy a pasar la navidad con mi.....famil ia, marido, esposa, niño(s) Christmas is a time to spend with family and friends and maybe give yourself a day or two off from learning Spanish, how ever there will always be the opportunity to practise some words or phrases, depending on your level. Try and have a Spanish conversation and I hope Father Christmas will be bringing you a new learn Spanish book to help you with your jour ney along this fantastic language. As this is the last Spanish lesson before Christmas I would like to wish all my read ers Feliz Navidad y prospero año nuevo, que tengáis una navidad lleno de felicidad... Pasa bien la nochevieja y mucha suerte por dos mil catorce.

Friday, December 20, 2013

HERBS FOR WEIGHT LOSS These days, if you are overweight the sci entific evidence is pretty clear. Do whatever it takes to lose the excess if you want to live long and well. Being of normal weight will not only lead to a healthier lifestyle, but it will also literally reverse or prevent future health problems. There is a long list of dieting options avail able. There are exercise programs, exercise machines, dietary supplements, dietary food and drinks, diet pills. There are even soaps which claim to help you lose pounds while you bathe. One option is to incorporate herbal reme dies to improve your body's physiology and help it lose weight. Herbal weight loss prod ucts are a great safe option for people who want to lose weight the natural way. Here are some herbal weight loss options that you might want to consider:

1. Herbal Weight Loss Products:

There are a lot of herbal weight loss prod ucts available on the market. You can check out the Internet and you will find a lot of herbal weight loss pills and products. Be careful, however, as most herbal prod ucts do not go through a very strict research protocol. That being said, if you do the read ing and education yourself there are lots of

options that are safe and very effective. Here are some ingredients and chemicals which make up some herbal weight loss products that you should watch out for, as they might have harmful effects to your health: Senna. This is a herbal laxative. Senna is a main ingredient in weight loss teas, and it works by stimulation of the colon. The down side effect of this herb is dehydration. It can also lead to colon problems and can become addictive. Some people, when addicted, are unable to perform bowel movements without it, so watch out. If the herbal weight loss product has senna in it remember to drink lots of water and follow the instructions. Chromium picolinate. This is a com pound found in herbal weight loss products. Chromium is a nutrient which helps regulate bloodsugar level. However, this ingredient, when taken in high doses, may cause dam age in the chromosomes. It can also lead to dehydration. Look for the amount per dosage; it should be small. St. John's wort. This supplement increases the production of a chemical in the brain. If not used properly, it may cause eye and skin sensitivity, mild gastrointestinal dis tress, fatigue and itching. Most products avoid this herb, but if you find it in the ingre

Eat, Drink and be Merry It is Christmas after all!

weight than chemicallyprocessed food products. Organic food just simply does not have the chemicals and as a result your body doesn't respond so negatively.

3. Green Tea:

dient list make sure it is in the micro dosage. Although a lot of herbal products claim to be safe and natural, it is better to scrutinize the ingredients and research about the effects of the product itself before going for these herbal dietary pills. True health does not come from your doctor; it comes from you taking the time to research and educate yourself on how to become healthy.

2. Organic Food:

In Kelowna, BC, organic food has found its way to more homes and restaurants. Organic food devotees believe that consum ing organic goodies help their bodies as well as the environment. A person who buys organically raised eggs and vegetables claim to be healthier, and they are not spending money on doctors and prescriptions as these keep them healthier and away from the hospital. This could also be an option for weight watchers, as organic food is known to be kinder to your

Studies show that intake of green tea, or green tea extracts burns extra calories. Also, green tea with caffeine can increase fat burning by up to 40%, thereby reducing fat. This is one good option for those who want to lose weight. In one study, people who took green tea were found to lose 2 to 3 times more weight than those who did not drink green tea. These results show that green tea is a natural product for the treatment of obesity. Thus, it also makes for a healthier dietary option, not to mention the good effects that it has on the body as compared to caffeine. A cup of tea gives an immediate energy lift without the side effects of caffeine.

4. Immortality Herb:

This herb, whose scientific name is Gymnostemna Pentaphyllum, is known to have the following benefits increases healthy blood flow reduces artery blocks aids healthy blood pressure increases the rate of fat burning

5. Apple Cider Vinegar

There are pills and food supplements whose main ingredient is apple cider vine gar. Here are the benefits of taking this herbal option: weight loss improved cholesterol level improved high blood pressure helps prevent rheumatoid arthritis There are lots of other options but the above herbs seem to affect weight loss more, and will help you keep your goal of losing the weight you want.

HOW PARASITES CAUSE CHRONIC DISEASES DR MACHI MANNU’S ADVICE CLINIC Email your questions and comments to contact@medb.es

In the run up to Christmas and when plan ning your food for the Festive Season don’t be negative and think well “I’m bound to put on weight over the Holiday”. Don’t let this though spoil your enjoyment of all that is good about Christmas food. With a few small considerations you can enjoy a fairly guilt free Christmas Fare. In nutritional terms many of the traditional foods are real ly quite healthy in moderation. Vegetables such as brussel sprouts, broccoli, green beans and carrots are full of vitamins and minerals and a few potatoes are good as they also contain vitamins and if roasted in their skins absorb less fat and contain more fibre. Nuts and dried fruit are nutritious and contain fibre and it has been shown that almonds can help to protect us against migraine in some cases. Smoked salmon is full of Omegas 3 and 6 which help us to stay healthy and avocados have been described as one of the world’s healthiest foods. Interestingly the most con centration of nutrients in the avocado are in the dark green flesh just under the skin so be careful when peeling to retain as much of this as possible. Tangerines and Satsuma’s are packed with vitamin C and this is felt by some to ward off colds and keep us generally

healthy. Christmas cake and Christmas pudding although high in fat also contain nutrients and a high proportion of fruit and nuts. Even marzipan which is made from almonds has some nutritional value but not so much the icing which is very high in empty calories. Cheese and grapes go together well and again are packed with nutrients such as pro tein and calcium and grapes contain polyphenols. All colours of grape have nutri tional value and red wine which is high in polyphenols is thought to help to keep the heart healthy. Traditionally we Brits cook in goose fat and many of our best chefs recommend cooking in this. Although we know that olive oil is much healthier I don’t personally think that eating goose fat on one or two days each year is going to make a massive impact on our health. As a nutritionist I would say enjoy your Christmas food it’s only a couple of days each year. Keep to sensible portion sizes, don’t eat until you think you are going to burst, drink lots of water, drink sensibly, take some exercise and come and see us in the New Year to help you to look at your lifestyle and help you to overall your diet. Have a lovely guilt free Christmas dinner!

There is a general mis conception that parasites and their associated illness es only occur in third world countries where the stan dard of living is low and peo ple live in filthy unhygienic surroundings; this is not so true. Recent technological advancement in medical diagnostics now shows that parasitic infestations are more common place than previously thought. Parasites can range from microscopic single cell pro tozoa to worms that are 15 feet long. The most widely spread protozoan parasites in humans are Giardia lam blia, Entamoeba histolytica, Blastocystis hominis and Crytosporidium. These are mostly picked up from con taminated food and water supplies and poor personal hygiene. While it is common knowl edge that parasites cause

intestinal problems such as diarrhoea and vomiting, few people realise their connec tion with chronic diseases. A study reported in the Journal of Nutritional Medicine revealed that out of over 400 chronic fatigue patients in New York, an incredible 93 per cent had some form of parasitic infestation. When parasites invade the intes tines, they may provoke allergic reactions causing inflammation which leads to a ‘leaky gut syndrome’: a condition whereby the pores of the intestinal lining are opened too wide, allowing foreign toxic substances to enter the bloodstream. These foreign invaders over load the liver and accumu late in the organs, muscles, lymphatic system and nerv ous system, thereby creat ing a wide variety of disease conditions like arthritis, asth ma, eczema, chronic fatigue

and memory loss. A type of parasite known as Entamoeba Histolytica has been found to migrate to the liver and is capable of caus ing weight loss and insom nia. Parasites also depress the immune system by excreting toxic waste prod ucts into the body. Taking simple precautions and good personal hygiene will go a long way in prevent ing parasites. Hand washing before eating and after going to the toilet, thorough washing of fresh fruits and vegetables and regular deworming of your pets, are all good practises. Foods such as Papaya, garlic, raw cabbage, pomegranate and pineapple have antipara sitic properties. FOR A FULL BODY DIAGNOSTIC SCAN, CALL DR MANNU ON 965071745

Friday, December 20, 2013

TOXIC LIVER OVERLOAD CAUSES TROUBLE Q

I am 57 years old, and for many years I have had problems with my digestion and skin. My digestive problems are stomach rumbling, acid burns and diar rhoea or constipation and sensitivity to many different foods. I was diagnosed with asthma 4 years ago, but I don’t have frequent attacks, and I’ve noticed my skin problems which are mainly rashes worsen when I have asthma. Over the years, I have seen many specialists and have had many tests – endoscopies, colono scopies, blood tests – and other than occasional anaemia or infection, nothing has been found. I have tried many different therapies both alternative and orthodox and have not felt much relief from them. I will appreciate your insight into my health problems.

I have carried out diagnostic scans on people suffering from symptoms similar to yours, and have found; high intolerance to chemicals that cause allergies, and an over load of the liver with toxic chemicals especially mycotoxins from moulds, heavy metals, and pesticides. You may be suffering from a similar condition since your investigations have been found clear of any abnormalities. In cases of toxic overload, the liver becomes overwhelmed with con taminants or toxins. These can be from what we eat, drink or put on our skin. The liver breaks down these chemicals through a pathway that requires several thousand chemical processes to work efficiently. However some people may be lacking some of the enzymes required for this process to run smoothly. Not long ago, human beings would have been able to cope quite well with this deficiency, but the world is different place today. It is laden with chemicals and we all have to battle to survive. When the liver fails to process tox ins effectively, they are stored in our fat cells and in our bones. For example lead, a toxic heavy metal, is stored in

our bones when the liver is overloaded. But many women suffer from a loss of bone density after menopause, causing the toxic lead to leach into the blood, leading to a host of health problems. Lead also raises blood pressure by con stricting arteries, and it is well known that removing toxic lead from the blood stream can cure hypertension. The tox ins stored in fat cells when the liver is overloaded with tox ins slowly seeps into the blood stream, causing our organs to be inflamed. When the respiratory organs are inflamed, the resulting symptoms may include cough, asthma or bron chitis. Inflammation of the digestive system may cause dys bacteriosis – a condition that results from an imbalance of good and bad bacteria in the stomach. This imbalance usu ally causes the abdominal symptoms you describe such as rumbling stomach and acid reflux. The stomach contains over 500 different species of microbes coexisting in a deli cate balance. Any number of factors will affect this balance: antibiotic prescriptions, mineral deficiencies, poor diet, and the presence of toxins in the gastric glands. I believe your health will improve a lot after a detox with Pectasol. Pectasol is an oral chelator of heavy metals such as lead, mercury and aluminium. Pectasol from Douglas Laboratories is available at MedB Health Shop. Price 83.94 Euros. Call 965071745 to place an order. Delivery is free.

I went to see the doctor for a yearly checkup, and after a blood test he noticed some problems with my thyroid gland and sent me for an Ultrasound Scan. They found 3 small nodules, but did not tell me very much about it. I feel very healthy, and from what I read from the internet, I do not think I have any problems with my thyroid. I will be glad for your opinion.

The thyroid gland is located in front of the neck just below the Adam’s apple. It is shaped like a butterfly, and wraps around the trachea or windpipes. Thyroid hor mone abnormalities like those detected by your doctor are usually due to a problem with the thyroid gland itself. Normally, the pituitary gland located in the brain produces a protein called thyroid stimulating hormone (TSH) which stimulates the thyroid gland to produce thyroid hormones Thyroxine (T4) and Triiodothyronine (T3). Thyroid nodules are lumps that commonly occur in any part of the thyroid gland. Some can be large and felt quite easily, while others like yours can be hidden deep inside the thyroid tissue. Most thyroid nodules, up to 90% are benign, and do not cause any physical symptoms. In 10% of cases, nodules can be malignant and cause cancer. Since you mentioned that you feel healthy, it is most likely that the nodules detect ed in your case are benign tumours, which are commonly found in women. Even though benign thyroid nodules may not cause physical symptoms such as difficulty swallowing or shortness of breath, they nevertheless cause disruptions in the production of thyroid hormones. Thyroid nodules have been linked to a deficiency of iodine in the diet, and this problem can easily be remedied by using iodized cook ing salt available from health shops. The most common way of determining the type of nodule you have is by fine needle aspiration, and your GP may have to perform this procedure in order to collect cell samples for the lab. It is performed by the insertion of very fine needles into the thy roid gland in the neck usually under anaesthesia. I pre sume you have another appointment with your doctor, and if not, make an appointment to see him, and discuss the scan report. Visit www.medb.es for cutting edge health information. Email your questions to : contact@medb.es

Friday, December 20, 2013

Cosy Christmas with The Ready Made Curtain & Bedding Store Villamartin!

Our winter warmers range continues to grow with fantastic new fleece under blan kets arriving in store! These are available in single, double and king size and as well as making your bed feel cosy and warm and being antiallergy.... they also prolong the life of your mattress! We also have a new range of luxurious super soft flannelette sheets from single to superking! We have restocked everything! Blankets, throws, curtains, cushions, bedding sets and so much more! Our Professional Sewing Service is prov ing popular and with many commercial and domestic projects completed we have been very busy in the lead up to the Christmas holiday. Don't forget that as well as alter ations to our in store textiles, we also make curtains, cushions and all home textiles. We also refurbish and recover furniture, make loose covers and undertake all repairs

and alterations to clothing. We are fully insured and all work is all carried out in our store. As if we couldn't squeeze anything else into our little shop.... to complement our gorgeous home textiles and professional sewing service, we are also available for home installations (again we are fully insured for this), awnings/toldos, blinds, stair treads and more. We also offer a con venient laundry and a fantastic professional upholstery service. We will be closed from Christmas Eve and will reopen for our 'Big Sale' on 2nd January so come and grab a bargain! We will be open Monday to Friday 10 until 5.30 and Saturday 10 until 4 however, we will be closed on Monday 6th January. We would like to wish all our customers a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! We look forward to seeing you again soon!

Friday, December 20, 2013

ALTERNATIVE CHRISTMAS ROASTS These cracking roast dinners are ideal for those who fancy something a bit different on Christmas ROAST BEEF FILLET WITH A HORSERADISH CRUST This is an extra special way of cooking beef fillet, ideal for a special occasion.

Ingredients

1. 3 tsp freshly grated horserad ish (or readygrat ed English Provender Hot Horseradish, from Waitrose) 2. 3 tsp English mustard 3. 3 tbsp horse radish cream 4. 1 garlic bulb, crushed 5. 75g fresh breadcrumbs 6. 4 thyme sprigs, leaves picked 7. 4 tbsp melted butter 8. 700g beef fillet 9. 1 tbsp olive oil, plus extra for greasing 10. 1 head of garlic, broken into cloves (unpeeled)

Method 1. Preheat the oven to 200°C/fan180°C/gas 6. Mix the grated horseradish in a bowl with the mustard, horseradish cream, crushed garlic, breadcrumbs, thyme and melted but ter. Season. Rub the beef fillet all over with the olive oil, then press the crust onto the top and sides, leaving the ends exposed. 2. Put the fillet in a lightly oiled, shallow roasting tray along with the garlic cloves. Roast in the oven for 35 minutes for mediumrare (or longer if you’d prefer). Remove and set the beef aside to rest for 10 minutes, loosely covered with foil. Serve sliced with the chipped potatoes and cauliflower gratin.

SLOW-ROASTED PORK Slow cook recipes are currently all the rage and this pork dish won't disappoint. The chump end is the best part of a pig for this roast.

Ingredients 1. 2.25kg piece chump end of pork, on the bone, skin scored 2. 1 tbsp sea salt 3. 1 tbsp fennel seeds 4. 300ml dry cider 5. Grated zest of 1 lemon 6. 2 fennel bulbs, quartered

Method 1. Preheat the oven to 140°C/fan120°C/gas 1. Place the pork in a roasting tin, skinside up, and rub the salt and fen nel seeds into the skin, pushing them into the incisions. 2. Pour the cider around the meat and scatter with the lemon zest. Cover the tin with a large sheet of foil and slow roast for at least 8 hours, basting the meat occasionally. 3. Turn the oven temperature up to 220°C/fan200°C/gas 7, remove the foil, add the fennel bulbs and cook, uncovered, for 45 minutes to really crackle up the skin. 4. Serve the pork with the roasted fennel and mashed or baked potatoes.

Friday, December 20, 2013

SPANISH NEWS

Chips cashed in over casino A plan to create a giant casino complex called Eurovegas near Madrid has col lapsed after dis agreements between the devel oper and Spanish authorities. US casino operator Las Vegas Sands pulled out of the 25 billion Euro project which was going to include 6x casinos, 12 hotels and many shops. Directly and indirectly the project was supposed to create up to 250,000 jobs, whilst Spain’s jobless rate currently stands at 27%. However Spanish authorities would not agree to several demands from the US company. Las Vegas Sands wanted the government to insure it against future changes in policy which could damage the resort's profitability, as well as a lower tax on gam bling. There was also a dis agreement over smoking at the resort, with Las Vegas

Sands asking for the resort to be exempted from Spanish rules on smoking. Deputy Prime Minister, Soraya Saenz de Santamaria said: "New con ditions were put forward concerning taxes and legal protection ... which could not be taken on board by the administrations involved. The government needs to preserve the general inter ests of all Spaniards." Las Vegas Sands chief executive Sheldon Adelson said: "While the government and many others have

worked diligently on this effort, we do not see a path in which the criteria needed to move forward with this largescale development can be reached.” Madrid was selected as the location for the resort after a long battle with Barcelona, which also covet ed the investment. The casi no complex has been opposed by several groups, including the Roman Catholic Church, which argued the development would encourage prostitu tion and crime.

TAX HIKES COMING New Spanish fiscal law changes will mean more price rises, but lower income tax rates. There’ll be fewer services and products on the lower IVA rates of 4 and 10 per cent, and there’ll be higher petrol, diesel, and rollyour own tobacco duties. The moves come on the direct orders of the EU in Brussels. New 'environmental' taxes and fewer exemptions and discounts on company taxes will 'help to limit the damage' caused by decreasing income tax, says treasury minister Cristóbal Montoro, who claims addi tional duties will be applied to 'those areas

which least affect economic activity' in the country. The European Commission had already told Spain to eradicate numerous aspects against which companies and the general public can offset their taxes – such as own ership of a main home – as well as reducing the number of items which attract lowerrate IVA and applying new taxes in areas which affect the environment, together with increasing the proportion of indirect taxes 'most favourable to growth' and fighting against fraud and tax evasion.

A Malaga woman who had just given birth to a girl got the shock of her life when the baby's grandmother decided to have a peek inside the newborn's nappy. On November 29th, Marta Montes and her husband José Chicón became the proud parents of a beautiful baby girl called Naia. After a relatively troublefree birth, Marta was given a couple of hours to recover before being taken to the maternity ward to be reunit ed with her baby and family. "I breastfed her and we all took pictures of her to send to our friends and family," Marta told local daily Málaga Hoy. But while everybody was busy debating whether Naia looked like her mother or father, the family grandmother removed the baby's nappy to reveal a penis.

The baby Marta and José had been cher ishing as their own for the past two hours was not Naia. Panicked by the discovery, the baby’s family rushed around the Malaga hospital trying to explain to staff members what had hap pened. “All kinds of things went through my mind at that point,” said Marta. “You hear about terrible stuff happening, I was extremely anxious.” After 20 min utes, the real baby Naia was reunited with her parents. Hospital staff apolo gized for the mixup, telling the parents the two babies were put in the same crib while the mothers recovered and that they'd been given the wrong wrist bands. As for the gran, she put her cru cial nappy check down to "intuition".

Vigo police have been ordered to maintain an around theclock watch over a collection of empty Christmas presents, a task officers say is "humiliating". Local police have been guarding the empty boxes for a week, according to the local daily La Voz de Galicia. Three pairs of police officers are cur rently working eighthour shifts to make sure that no one disturbs the brightly covered packages. The orders to protect the presents in Príncipe Street come directly from city mayor Abel Cabellero. But the agents charged with the mission reportedly find the

work "humiliating and insulting". "This is not a matter for police; officers have other things to do," sources told La Voz de Galicia. One public official estimated the cost of the agents' time at 14 thousand Euros — “or up to one hun dred times the value of the boxes they are protecting". Vigo police are not even working alone to protect the presents. Two security guards hired by local retailers are also taking part in the campaign. "Vigo is one of the most secure cities in Europe," said Spain's Police Director, Ignacio Cosidó Gutiérrez during a recent visit to the city to open a new police station.

GRAN KNOWS BEST

Rajoy sticks the boot in Cops, present and correct

Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy will block all attempts by Catalan leaders to hold an independ ence referendum on November 9th, 2014. A few hours after Catalan president Artur Mas unveiled the date and wording of the poll, the Spanish leader refused even to countenance a breakup of the nation. "It is unconstitutional and it will not take place," Rajoy said. “This initia tive collides headon with the foundation of the constitution which is the indissoluble unity of the Spanish nation." Mas said a majority of parties in Catalonia, but not all, backed the referendum. "There will be time for the Spanish state to negotiate with the Catalan institutions over how to hold this consultation in accordance with existing legal norms," Mas said. Proud of their distinct language and cul

ture and fed up after five years of stopstart recession, many of the 7.5 million people in Catalonia want to redraw the map of Spain, saying they feel shortchanged by the central government which redistributes their taxes. But Rajoy swiftly squashed any hope that Madrid would consider allowing the creation of a new nation nes tled between France and Spain. A recent poll by the Catalonia Centre for Opinion Studies (CEO) showed that those favouring greater autonomy or outright inde pendence far outweighed those who wanted to stick with Spain. The CEO poll published on November 22nd showed support in the region for independence to be at 54.7 per cent. Another recent poll by the Spanish gov ernment's CIS institute had this support at 40.6 percent.

Friday, December 20, 2013

Wayne’s Spanish world By Andrew Atkinson Locallybased Sixties pop star, Wayne Fontana will be back 'home' in the UK this New Year's Eve in concert at the Amersham Rock N Roll Club with Chris Farlowe and Vanity Fare. "I'm still doing 'gigs'," said Villamartin based Fontana exlead singer of Wayne Fontana and The Mindbenders. Fontana will be on stage this New Year's Eve with Rock, Soul and Blues artiste Farlowe, 73, who had a No 1 hit single 'Out of Time' in 1966 and Vanity Fare, whose massive hit 'Hitchin' a Ride' in 1970 sold over one million records. Fontana's last chart success was in 1967 when 'Pamela, Pamela' reached No 11 in the UK, but his biggest suc cess was 'Game of Love' which hit No.1 in the American charts. "I was embarrassed when I had the No.1 in America topping Jerry Lee Lewis and Fats Domino with Game of Love," said 68 year old Fontana. He’s also part of the UK's Solid Silver Sixties Tour, when back in the UK, performing hits includ ing 'Hello Josephine', 'Love Potion No. 9', 'Little Darlin', and 'Um, Um, Um, Um, Um, Um'. Looking back to his heyday, Fontana said: "The Everly Brothers were brilliant.”I toured

Youngsters at King’s College, Roldan got a fasci nating talk about the work of Torrevieja’s Reach Out homeless charity from Karolina Leonard and Sandra Stephens. With Spain having the biggest unemployment rates in the European Union, Reach Out was set up 2 years ago to help homeless people around Torrevieja, with some 35 families on their with Frankie Valli and The Four Seasons books. 95% of the fundrais Frankie asked me to do a tour in America, ing donations come from the which was nice." One regret is not meeting British community, so it was the late legend Elvis Presley: "I wish I had an interesting chance for met him it didn't happen. He was a big influ Karolina (pictured on the left, ence." "My name Fontana was taken from with Jacqueline Beards from Elvis Presley's drummer, D.J. Fontana," the College in the middle, added Wayne real name Glyn Ellis. Another and headmaster Stefan of his recordings was 'The Sun's So Hot Rumistrzwicz) and Sandra Today' which he’ll no doubt sing when he to speak to the King’s returns back to the Orihuela Costa. College pupils, 75% of "I should have moved to Spain years ago! whom are Spanish. I love it here," said Fontana.

NIFTY FOOTWORK

It was double duty for the Los Montesinosbased Footwork Dance team, as they gave 2 performances last Sunday of their festive show, “Dancing in the Musicals”. Performing in the town’s music school venue, top West End shows were the theme, finishing off with a rousing finale based on Les Miserables.

Crescendo’s hat trick

The Torreviejabased Crescendo International Choir took a leaf out of the Three Wise Men playbook and decided to hand out 3 gifts over the festive season! 50 Euros were raised for Age Concern after their con cert at El Paraiso at the start of the month, and then their collection at their Benijofar Church performance bagged 175 Euros for the Caritas charity. Crescendo’s final gift was at Torrevieja’s Christian Church Fellowship’s United Carol Sevice, where along with “Just Brass”, a great evening was had by all, and

REACHING OUT TO ROLDAN

the special needs charity for children, APA NEE, were better off to the tune of 500 Euros. A total sum of 2640 Euros for local causes has been raised by Crescendo this year.

LIONS GIVE PLENTY

It’s been a busy year for the Torrevieja Costa Lions Club, and besides being part of the international Lions effort to help the victims of the Philippines Typhoon Haiyan, they’ve also continued their support of local charities during December. The President of the San Miguel Neighbour Care group, Los Vecinos has been given 500 Euros to buy essential food items for needy local families (Manolo Gomez is pictured with Lions Club President, Janette Bennett). Reach Out Torrevieja were given a new chest freezer for their drop in centre in Torrevieja and 500 Euros of food, whilst Alimientos Solidarios in Torrevieja will shortly be presented with 500 Euros worth of essential sup plies and Caritas in Rojales will get 500 Euros of food for the needy.

Vivace hit the right note

San Miguel was awash in Christmas last Saturday with the tones of the locallybased Vivace Classical Choir wafting around the town’s Casa de Cultura. The venue was deco rated in festive style, and the choir sung popular carols in Spanish and German, as well as in English. The evening was hosted by Musical Director Tom Pargeter, with everything being translated into Spanish by his wife Katy. There was also a bucket col lection at the end of the evening with proceeds divided between Caritas and the ani mal refuge, Finca la Castellana based in San Miguel. The picture shows Tom and Katy handing over the money to Janette Lopez, who along with her husband Antonio run the Finca.

Friday, December 20, 2013

A JOLLY FINE YEAR CHRISTMAS CHEER

Over 500 Euros was raised at the final event of 2013 for Help at Home(HAH) Mar Menor with a Craft Fayre outside the Bacchus Restaurant in Los Narejos. A great selection of gifts and cakes (many of which were baked by HAH volunteers) went down well, as did some great musical entertain ment from the Spangles Ladies Chorus. Many of the HAH volunteers in the Mar Menor are away over the festive season, so the group will not be able to take on new clients until Monday January 6th 2014.

MEMBERS GIFT

HELP Murcia Mar Menor got an early Christmas present with 4 new members from La Manga join ing them for their fes tive feast at the Olympia restaurant in Mil Palmeras. HELP President, Bernard Ash revealed that his sponsored slim has seen him lose 13 kilos, earning 330 Euros for the charity, and he’ll be taking part with 2 other members in April’s 120 kilometre Pilgrims Walk in Northern Spain to raise money for HELP, Caritas and Debra. Sponsorship forms are in the HELP office in Los Alcazares behind the Roblemar Restaurant.

Velvetones celebrate

The ladies of the Velvetones had plenty to sing about when celebrating 15 years together. They recently presented 600 Euros to Wilma Aitkenhead of Age Concern at their sell out con cert. The ladies will reunite for rehearsals at Restaurant El Paraiso, Jardin del Mar, Torrevieja on Wednesday January 8th at 9.30am.

Multi-lingual carols Christmas carols old and new performed in 4 lan guages, including Swedish, were the centrepiece of the final winter concert for Coro Pilar. After successful evenings at Campoverde and Pilar de la Horadada church es, in addition to the Las Claras Centro Social in Los Alcazares, the choir rounded off their 2013 season high up at Restaurant Rebate in the heart of the Sierra de Escalone. The Choir

are always looking for new members so for more details phone John Robinson on 966 763 446.

Gasping for success

A group of thespians have tread the boards to help the Cruz Roja get a preXmas lift of 500 Euros. It’s all come from GASP: The Gran Alacant and Santa Pola Theatre group after their recent staging of 3 short plays at Gran Alacant’s Life Resort. To find out more about GASP, check out their website, gasptheatre.org.

Hundreds of people packed into Torrevieja’s Plaza de la Constitucion last Friday evening to enjoy the traditional “Carols in the Square” concert. The area was a sea of red, with many people donning Santa and Reindeer hats to join in a mixture of classic English language car ols, mixed in with some Spanish songs as well. The Phoenix Band accompanied a mixture of local choirs, with Torrevieja mayor, Eduardo Dolon, leading the civic dignitaries. A collec tion was also made for the local Food Solidarity charity.

Friday, December 20, 2013

Horoscopes Aries March 21 April 19 A member of your group may have gone away without telling anyone where he or she was going. This could be worrisome for the rest of you, but don't fret. Your friend is probably OK, but may just need to do some thinking alone. You have to accept that you won't hear from this per son today. Have faith and don't worry.

Taurus April 20 May 20 A strange, unexpected call or email could puzzle you. You may not know the caller, the information might not make sense, or it might bring news that doesn't feel right. Whatever you hear may be exaggerated if not false. If it's important to you, check out the facts before jumping to conclusions and before passing it on to others.

Gemini May 21 June 20 Is your financial situation confusing? Are you starting to panic about it? You may be getting worked up over nothing. Get all your paperwork together, focus on the facts, and see what's really happening. Once you consult the actual figures and go over them a few times, you should find that you can handle the situation.

Cancer June 21 July 22 Ideas for creative projects may be flood ing your mind, but they may be too gener al or vague to grasp. Make a list if you like, but don't feel you have to start any thing today. You may need a few days to let the ideas churn around before settling on the best one to start. Be patient.

By Pandora Leo July 23 August 22 Have you been getting strange vibes from someone close to you? Chances are this person isn't upset with you. He or she may be worried about upcoming changes in the professional environment. All signs are that these worries are groundless. Offer to take your friend out to lunch and just lis ten. You'll be able to lighten the load and provide some muchneeded perspective.

Virgo August 23 September 22 A current or potential love partner may drop out of sight and not return your calls. You could panic, wondering if your friend has lost interest. Don't jump to conclu sions. Your partner may be involved in other matters. Remember the old saying, "If you love something, let it go." If you cling, it was never yours in the first place.

Libra September 23 October 22 A gathering of psychics, artists, and spir itually oriented people could take place in your home today. This may be a fascinat ing and stimulating meeting, but there may be someone who likes to stir contro versy and debate. Be aware of this possi bility and shortcircuit it if you can or this promising encounter could end with bat tered egos and bruised feelings.

Scorpio October 23 November 21 A class you've wanted to take may open up, and you'll want to register right away. You might have a few difficulties. If you try to sign up by phone, the line may be busy. If you enroll online, the website might crash. Don't get discouraged and give up. These are only temporary delays. You won't want to miss the class. Keep trying!

Sagittarius November 22 December 21 Do you have a lot of money in invest ments? Even if you have only a savings account or home equity, you could be a bit disconcerted when the stock market takes a nosedive. A lot is going on behind the scenes that the general public doesn't know. The situation is temporary. The mar ket should be back to normal before too long.

Capricorn December 22 January 19 A love partner may seem distracted. Don't jump to the conclusion that your friend has found someone else. The problem is more likely to center on obstacles that your partner has encountered in achiev ing a cherished goal. When your friend decides to share this with you, you might be able to shed some light on the situa tion.

Aquarius January 20 February 18 Equipment could give you trouble today. You're probably good at working with it, but when it comes to troubleshooting, you might not know as much as you should. Don't make yourself crazy worry ing about it. Get a friend or colleague to assist you, or better yet, call a profession al. You'll feel more confident and get a lot more done.

Pisces February 19 March 20 A friend's lack of communication and per haps even shortness with you could bring up your insecurities and have you wonder ing if this person still cares about you. Don't worry. Your friend is upset, but not about you. He or she may be too caught up in difficulties to realize the problem. Hang in there and you'll be in touch again when they're ready.

Friday, December 20, 2013

BlueMoon Solutions is the computer and IT services com pany on the Costa Blanca, they provide quality computer services at realistic prices and specialise in working with home users and small businesses.

Richard moved to Spain seven years ago hav ing left his management background behind in the UK and decided to use his IT skills to help home users and small businesses with their PC problems. Now a relaxed 'computer man' he is out and about in the Spanish sun every day, making house and shop calls and using his vast experience and qualifications to (usually) sort out the problem there and then. Computers are his hobby as well as his work so don’t be surprised to get an answer to your email in the early hours!

ADVICE: Mark wanted to know how to get to the UK ADVICE: Pat was concerned about some messages from Google search page. AVG

Hi Richard, I hope you can help me with this one! I was on dialup connection, but Hello Richard, Don't know if you have a quick answer, but for a while now, when I now have broadband. I am using IE 8 but decided to go with Google Chrome for my load Internet Explorer, then click on "Hotmail" there are two Internet Explorer Icons browser. Downloaded Chrome successfully (checking the language settings) but at the bottom of my screen, one on top of the other (just offset a bit) and a pop up every time I launch the site (www.google.uk as home page) it reverts to box keeps appearing from AVG saying something about I E using too much mem www.google.es and everything is in Spanish (it does convert to English after a few seconds ory, and advising shut down and re start. This doesn't make any difference; the two icons but this can get annoying. I am also using Gmail for emailing. I have redownloaded Google are still there as soon as I click on Hotmail. Is this a problem that needs rectifying? Thank Chrome, but with the same result again I am wondering whether the cause could be that the you Pat broadband provider is a Spanish company but this does not seem logical as the last down load was from the Google site. Hope you can help!!! Hi Patricia, the thing that you have noticed Hi Mark, there are a couple of things here, firstly the correct address for the UK lan with Internet Explorer guage version of Google is www.google.co.uk (not google.uk as you typed). So having two icons (one first try typing this new address and see if on top of the other) is totally you get what you are looking for. If you normal for Windows, it indi don’t then we can set your browser to automatically cates that you have Internet go to the correct address when you launch it by Explorer running twice, if you doing the following… hover over the icon you will 1.Click the Chrome menu on the browser toolbar. see that the two screens 2. Click Settings appear side by side, you can 3. in the “On Startup” section click on the link “set click on the red cross on one pages” after “Open a specific page or set of pages” of them to get rid of it. 4. Ensure that http://www.google.co.uk is set as the With regards to the AVG mes first startup page (add it if it’s not) and click ok sages, again these are normal 5. Google Chrome will now go to the UK Google and AVG is simply informing search page when you start it you that a particular program Hope this helps. is using what it regards as an excessive amount of memory, you can turn off this function from within AVG by doing the following… ADVICE: Max wanted to know how to back up his new 1. Open the AVG Control Panel 2. Click Tools menu, click Advanced Settings netbook Hi Richard, I have an Asus laptop which does not have a CD/DVD drive. Can I back 3. Click the Appearance Tab on the left pane up the Windows Seven Starter operating system to a USB 2.0 flash drive memory 4. Check the Display AVG Advisor Performance Notifications under System Tray Notifications. stick of eight gigabytes? Regards Max 5. Click OK and close the AVG control panel

Q A

Hi Max, although I can’t say for certain for your laptop as I don’t have the exact model details, it is normal for new laptops to give you the ability to create recovery media, usually there is an option for cre ating the media either by using DVD’s or a USB stick. Click the start button on your Asus and look for a program in the Asus group called “recovery media creator” or something similar, it’s with this program that you will be able to create your recovery media. Remember that this will only create your Asus and Windows media, it will not back up any files, you should also ensure that you have a good backup process in place to man age your data.

Don’t forget you can follow me on twitter @bluemoonspain Alternately why don’t you sign up for my newsletter. You can do this by going to: www.bluemoonsolutions.es and fill in the form that is on any page except the front page. office@bluemoonsolutions.es www.bluemoonsolutions.es Mobile: 655 044 970

Office: 902 906 200

Friday, December 20, 2013

One in six drivers New British car company admits 'bump parking' aims for bespoke market A NEW BRITISH car com pany has been launched and the Alcraft Motor Company aims to offer bespoke designs based on existing models. The company says it will offer enhanced designs for Aston Martin, Jaguar and Land Rover models to begin with. Each design will be unique to the customer in a move that harks back to the days of coachbuilt cars of the 1920s. The first design from Alcraft is based on a Range Rover that has been styled by Matthew Humphries, who was for mally the chief designer at Morgan Cars. He said: ‘We’re extremely proud of the way the Range Rover has turned out. We’ve made it more elegant and timeless with the best of British design. I think we’ve achieved ALMOST one in six drivers admits to deliberately letting their car hit an adjacent one when trying to park. Known as ‘bump parking’, it means driv ers simply carry on moving until they hit the car they’re heading towards. The figure rises to a shocking 26% – more than a quarter – among those living in London, with UKwide drivers aged 1834 recording the same statistic. Bump parking is just one of a host of hor rendous bad parking habits uncovered by new research from Churchill Car Insurance. Among the other manoeuvring malprac tices are parking in disabled bays without a blue badge (5%), deliberately parking over two bays (6%), parking on double yellow lines (9%) and parking in ‘parent and child’ spaces when travelling without kids.

Drivers are so hung up about parking that 17% won’t even attempt it if another driver is watching them, while 11% won’t use multistorey car parks and 8% refuse to park when it’s dark. According to the survey, 16% of drives admit to having caused damage to their own or another person’s car when parking in the past year. With the average annual cost of parking prang damage at £328 for every car on the road in the UK, the total value of damage caused is estimated at more than £1 billion. Steve Barrett, head of Churchill Car Insurance, said, “Motorists seem to be struggling with parking their cars. "Socalled ‘bump parking’ might seem easier at the time, but if it results in some damage to their car, motorists could end up counting the cost later.”

a more limousinelike presence.’ Chief Executive David Alcraft added: ‘Although some customers want to make a loud statement, we believe there is a gap in the market for personalising cars in a way that respects each brands’ heritage and British style.’

Spanish street named after car racing video game creator THE SPANISH town of Ronda has named a street after the creator of car racing phenomenon Gran Turismo. Kazunori Yamauchi, the man behind all six Gran Turismo games and their respective PlayStation spinoffs, was honoured in an onstreet ceremony by the Mayor and Deputy Mayor of Ronda, where the new street sign was unveiled. Paseo de Kazunori Yamauchi runs along the edge of the stunning ravine that makes

Ronda a popular tourist destination. The views from the top are stun ning, and Yamauchi san himself had fallen in love with the place as a young man. As an adult he returned, along with the launch of Gran Turismo 6, to take over the town for a couple of days and show his appreciation for the city. Ronda has even been built into the game itself, forming a breathtaking backdrop for racing or simply just for the scenery.

Friday, December 20, 2013

CODE CRACKER Code Cracker is a crossword puzzle with no clues; instead, every letter of the alphabet has been replaced by a number, the same number representing the same letter throughout the puzzle. All you have to do is decide which letter is represented by which number. In this week’s puzzle, 2 represents C and 17 represents Z, when these letters have been entered throughout the puzzle, you should have enough information to start guessing words and discovering other letters.

QUICKIE

Across

Down

1 Provide (6) 4 Spectres (6) 9 Organise (7) 10 Humiliation (5) 11 Earth (4) 12 One more (7) 15 Assess (6) 16 Workshop (6) 19 Makes up one’s mind (7) 21 Containers (4) 24 Surplus (5) 25 Highlystrung (7) 26 Objective (6) 27 Muddles (6)

1 Littlest (8) 2 Associate (7) 3 Loan (4) 5 Pause (8) 6 Say (5) 7 Look for (4) 8 Denims (5) 13 Frail (8) 14 Comprises (8) 17 Mythical monsters (7) 18 Resources (5) 20 Go in (5) 22 Overdraft (4) 23 Gratis (4)

Last weeks Solution

Across: 1 Coach, 4 Brand, 10 Stern, 11 Replace, 12 Answered, 13 Keen, 15 Legend, 17 Beaten, 19 Skip, 20 Powerful, 23 Explore, 24 Banks, 25 Never, 26 Deals. Down: 2 Obeys, 3 Condemns, 5 Ripe, 6 Nearest, 7 Established, 8 Freed, 9 Meaningless, 14 Resemble, 16 Glimpse, 18 Bored, 21 Final, 22 Core.

Scribble Pad

DOUBLE CROSS-WORD Solve the Double CrossWord puzzle using either the standard or cryptic clues, the answers are exactly the same.

CRYTPIC CLUES Across 1 A piece of furniture for some Adelaide ski resorts (4) 3 Greek hero mixed used soys (8) 9 Unilluminated areas for Apache group (7) 10 Honours European, very fat (5) 11 A display of bad temper in the theatre? (5) 12 To rent accommodation is awful (6) 14 Regrets catching white herons, for example (6) 16 Twist whiter translation (6) 19 Small room near square (6) 21 Actress Jessica is not exactly an angel (5) 24 Monarch gave alterna tive for last resting place (5) 25 Veteran courier’s mes sage contained bitterness (7) 26 Former charge Ed

praised (8) 27 Deliver germ, reported ly (4) Down 1 SAS tried to manoeuvre, but it was a calamity (8) 2 Overused school head thanks the French (5) 4 Leave pudding with the centre missing (6) 5 Drop of sherry left for fun (5) 6 Basic part of an electric kettle (7) 7 Wild West food? (4) 8 Businessman was con vincing (6) 13 About a motor vehicle or train (8) 15 Dependent on make up, I learnt (7) 17 Give in about fast time (6) 18 Eurostar very nearly contains nothing to eat (6) 20 Great, a small spring (5) 22 Spain after midday? Not a soul (2,3) 23 A giant in the Progressive Party (4)

Down STANDARD CLUES 1 Tragedy (8) Across 1 Writing table (4) 2 No longer fresh (5) 3 Mythical Greek hero (8) 4 Abandon (6) 9 Secretly trails (7) 5 Recreation (5) 10 Overly overweight (5) 6 Constituent (7) 11 Act subdivision (5) 7 Boil slowly (4) 12 Decayed (6) 8 Convincing (6) 14 Wading birds (6) 16 Squirm about (6) 13 Practice (8) 19 Wardrobe (6) 15 Trustworthy (7) 21 Actress Jessica (5) 17 Give way (6) 24 Critical (5) 18 Be ravenous (6) 25 Feeling of bitter anger 20 Expand (5) (7) 22 Not a single person (2,3) 26 Glorified (8) 23 Monster (4) 27 Surrender formally (4) Last weeks Solution Across: 1 In toto, 4 Boiled, 9 Primula, 10 Gruel, 11 Galop, 12 Monkeys, 13 Eve, 14 Sport, 16 Tasks, 18 Her, 19 Overage, 21 Adage, 23 Abaci, 24 Delight, 25 So long, 26 Prayer. Down: 1 Impugns, 2 Twirl, 3 Trumpet, 5 Organ, 6 Louvers, 7 Doles, 8 Hammerheads, 15 Overall, 16 Trailer, 17 Sweater, 19 Opals, 20 Align, 22 Angry.

FILL IT IN

Complete the crossword grid by using the given words:

3 letter words Ado Bar Boa Col Did Eel Era Ess Hit Hoe Icy Imp Leg Mob One Ore Owe

Psi Spy Use 4 letter words Asks Aves Baal Bare Bars Carp Coda Code Cuts Ease East Erse Lido Ones

Pope Scar Skis Tort 5 letter words Agars Exeat Kites Matte Onset Poilu Puree Rears Rents Scene Sours Tepid

7 letter 6 letter words words Ice axes Aerate Presume Arguer Sierras Athena 8 letter Avower words Capone Daybreak Diadem Debacles Guilds Outdoing Mottos Sensuous Nettle 9 letter Phoney words Ragged Ramble Abatement Relets Police dog 11 letter Sooner word Tsetse Unopen Disagreeing

SPANISH-ENGLISH CROSSWORD

Improve your Spanish clues in Spanish, answers in English or vice versa.

Across 1 Deuda (obligación) (4) 3 Mensajes (8) 9 Mothersinlaw (7) 10 Spider (5) 11 Fertiliser (5) 12 Once (6) 14 Herboso (6) 16 Treasure (6) 19 Fresh (fruit, vegeta bles, meat, milk) (6) 21 Pipas (de fumar) (5) 24 Arm (anatomy) (5) 25 Casita (de campo) (7) 26 Anxiety (8) 27 Sierras (herramien tas) (4)

Down 1 Unloading (goods) (8) 2 Good (satisfactory) (5) 4 Más fácil (6) 5 Pala (para cavar) (5) 6 Barn (farm) (7) 7 Jabón (para lavar) (4) 8 Flechas (6) 13 Langostas (de mar) (8) 15 Atrasos (7) 17 Draw (equal score) (6) 18 Shell (of snail, shell fish) (6) 20 Humo (de fuego, cig arro) (5) 22 Silver (5) 23 Work (product) (4)

Friday, December 20, 2013 Across 1 What was the surname of the former Scottish footballer who managed Manchester United between 1945 and 1969 and again for the second half of the 1970–71 season? (5) 4 What noun means ‘under standing of a situation or event only after it has happened or developed’? (9) 9 What name is often applied to the egg or young form of a louse or other parasitic insect, especially the egg of a human head louse attached to a hair? (3) 10 Which British unit of weight is equivalent to 2,240 pounds (lbs)? (3) 11 The original lineup of which English R&B girl group, formed in 1992, consisted of sisters Easther and Vernie Bennett, Kéllé Bryan and Louise Redknapp (née Nurding)? (7) 12 Which toughskinned ter restrial mollusc that typically lacks a shell, secretes a film of mucus for protection? (4) 13 The name of which large or violent whirlpools comes from the Dutch for ‘grind, whirl’ and ‘stream’? (10) 15 In tenpin bowling, what name is given to the act of knocking down all the pins with two balls? (5) 16 What was the title of the

Eagles’ second studio album, released in 1973? (9) 17 Which seaport on an inlet of the Pacific Ocean is the largest city in Alaska? (9) 21 The second record album by Mike Oldfield, released in 1974 on Virgin Records, was entitled Hergest (What)? (5) 23 The 1984 American sci ence fiction action film directed by James Cameron that starred Arnold Schwarzenegger as a cyborg disguised as a human being sent back in time to assassinate Sarah Connor, was entitled The (What)? (10) 24 Just What I Needed, My Best Friend’s Girl (both 1978) and Drive (1984) were all UK Top 20 hit singles by which American rock band? (4) 27 According to Greek mythology, what was the name of the firebreathing female monster with a lion’s head, a goat’s body, and a serpent’s tail? (7) 28 What name is often given to a lyric poem, typically one in the form of an address to a par ticular subject, written in varied or irregular metre? (3) 29 Which small town in east ern Belgium, southeast of Liège has been celebrated since medieval times for the curative properties of its mineral springs? (3) 30 What name is usually

SUDOKU (Easy)

Quiz Word

applied to a person employed by an individual or in an office to assist with correspondence, make appointments, and carry out administrative tasks? (9) 31 Anaconda, boomslang,

sidewinder and taipan are all types of which reptile? (5) Down 1 What name is given to the notice read out on three suc cessive Sundays in a parish

church, announcing an intend ed marriage and giving the opportunity for objections? (5) 2 Which tangerine of a hardy looseskinned variety, was orig inally grown in Japan? (7) 3 Which large, hairy humanoid creature said to live in the Himalayas, is also known as the Abominable Snowman? (4) 4 What is the title of the offi cial published verbatim report of the proceedings of the British parliament? (7) 5 What name is given to the row of three distinctive stacks of chalk that rise out of the sea off the western extremity of the Isle of Wight, UK, close to Alum Bay? (7) 6 Which abbey, eight miles (13 km) south of Dumfries, near to the Nith in southwest Scotland, was a Cistercian monastery, founded in 1275 by Dervorguilla of Galloway, daughter of Alan, Lord of Galloway, in memory of her husband John de Balliol? (10) 7 Which long, narrow flatbot tomed boat propelled by sculling, is traditionally used on canals of Venice? (7) 8 Which optical instrument designed to make distant objects appear nearer, first appeared in the Netherlands in 1608? (9) 14 The name of which early

form of bicycle propelled by working pedals on cranks fitted to the front axle, was derived from the Latin for ‘swift’ and ‘foot’? (10) 15 What was the title of the 1960 American epic historical drama film directed by Stanley Kubrick, starring Kirk Douglas as the rebellious slave of the title? (9) 18 Which adjective means ‘of or relating to the heart’? (7) 19 Which US state is bor dered by Tennessee to the north, Georgia to the east, Florida and the Gulf of Mexico to the south, and Mississippi to the west? (7) 20 Which branch of biology is concerned with the relations between organisms and their environment? (7) 22 The surface of which salt water lake on the border between Israel and Jordan is 400 m (1,300 ft) below sea level? (4,3) 25 Which large, edible ray with a long snout and thick tail with pectoral fins continuous with the head, swims by undu lating the edges of the pectoral fins? (5) 26 What was the surname of the Nazi leader, who in 1941, flew a solo flight to Scotland in an apparent attempt to negoti ate a peace treaty with Great Britain? (4)

SALLY’S SIMPLE SPANISH NAVIDAD CHRISTMAS Match these words with their Spanish translations then find them in the wordsearch. (Answers below)

history QUIZ

ANSEWRS: 1. Poland 2. Santa Maria (Pinta & Nina Were Sister Ships) 3. Hole in Doughnuts 4. Sideburns 5. Sir Walter Raleigh 6. The First Airship Crossing, North Pole 7. Samuel Pepys 8. Charlie Chaplain 9. Czechoslovakia 10. Three 11. The Holy Roman Empire

Last Week’s Solutions Code Cracker Last weeks Quiz Word Solution Across: 9 Ramsay MacDonald, 10 Baroque, 12 Lesotho, 13 Specimens, 14 Malta, 15 Sea pink, 18 Sucrose, 21 Octet, 23 Alpenhorn, 25 Oedipus, 26 Worsted, 29 Father Christmas. Down: 1 Crib, 2 Emir, 3 Daiquiri, 4 Ampere, 5 Oculists, 6 Possum, 7 Martello, 8 Advocate, 11 Apple, 15 Showoffs, 16 Antidote, 17 Knapsack, 19 Congress, 20 Serge, 22 Tappet, 24 Powers, 27 Tams, 28 Dusk.

los regalos

el pavo

los reyes magos

el reno

los villancicos

la celebración

Nochebuena

la estrella

Nochevieja

las campanas

Papa Noel

las luces

tintinear

los adornos

ver a la familia

Empareja estas palabras Match the Spanish and English words You will find the answers at the bottom of the quiz. 16.ver a la familia.

1.el árbol, 2.el pavo, 3.el reno,

j.to see the family, k.the turkey, l.the bells, m.the reindeer,

4.la celebración, 5.la estrella, 6.las campanas, 7.las luces,

a.Christmas carols,

n.Christmas Eve, o.the lights,

8.los adornos, 9.los regalos,

b.Father Christmas, c.the star,

p.New Year’s Eve.

10.los reyes magos,

d.the celebration, e.to jingle,

11.los villancicos,

f.the decorations,

12.Nochebuena, 13.Nochevieja,

g.the presents, h.the tree,

14.Papa Noel, 15.tintinear,

Soduko

i.the three wise men,

Span Eng

Quizword

Answers: 1h, 2k, 3m, 4d, 5c, 6l, 7o, 8f, 9g, 10i, 11a, 12n, 13p, 14b, 15e, 16j.

1. In which country was Auschwitz? 2. Name The Ship In Which Columbus Discovered America? 3. Captain Hanson Gregory Crockett created what void in 1847? 4. What fashion trend did General Ambrose Burnside start during the Civil War? 5. Who Brought Back Tobacco And Potatoes From The Americas? 6. The Italian Umberto Nobile became famous in 1926 for? 7. Who Wrote A Famous Diary Between 1660 & 1669? 8. Who called himself the 8th wonder of world because of his large penis? 9. In 1968 Which Country Did The USSR Invade To Stamp Out Liberal Reform? 10. How Many Days After Hiroshima Did Nagasaki Receive The Second Atom Bomb? 11. What Was The First Reich?

el árbol

Fill It In

Friday, December 20, 2013

TRELI ON THE TELLY BEEB PULLS A XMAS CRACKER with ALEX TRELINSKI

Christmas TV doesn’t hold the same excitement for me as the old days, mainly since the festive season schedule seems to run for a fortnight rather than the old days of when things started on Christmas Eve and ended on Boxing Day. There’s also the modern era of just storing everything

on a digital recorder and watching it all at leisure whilst actually enjoying the big holiday with family and friends. The old era when Eric and Ernie or an Eastenders special could pull in close to 30 million viewers is long gone, and anything that gets over 10 million is

viewed as brilliant. But I still get the kick of thumbing through the Christmas and New Year double issue of the Radio Times, which I did this week, and checking out what I’ll be looking forward to recording on Christmas Day. First up, do watch the fan tastic An Adventure in Space

and Time on BBC 2 in the late afternoon. It’s my favourite single drama of the year, and thoroughly deserv ing of a quick repeat as it tells the story of how Dr.Who started in 1963 and of the first portrayal of the Time Lord by William Hartnell, beautifully played by David Bradley. Later on, it’s time for a spot of regeneration on BBC1 as Matt Smith morphs into Peter Capaldi, who will be terrific in the role. Not for the first time on the big day, you can quite easily not use your remote control and leave your TV switched to BBC 1 from 6.00pm for Strictly Come Dancing, fol lowed by a festive special of the blockbuster, Call The Midwife, and then it’s Dr. Who. That’s a hell of a line up which then continues with Eastenders, the return of Mrs.Brown’s Boys, and

topped up by a new hour of stand up from Michael McIntyre which takes you past midnight! ITV’s peak time is simply devoid of imagination with hourlong slabs of Emmerdale and Corrie, but at least we get a twohour dose of Downton Abbey competing against Eastenders and Mrs. Brown. Now that will be a ratings contest and a half, and I hope that the episode will be miles more entertaining than last year’s boring buttock clencher which only got inter esting in the end when Matthew Crawley met his maker! It’s a very tough call to say which show will get the biggest audience, but I’ll plump for Call The Midwife or Dr.Who. It means that I have a very busy Boxing Day of viewing ahead of me!

Sam Bailey and Andy Murray didn’t let me down in my predictions over the X Factor and the BBC Sports Personality of the Year awards. Here’s to Natalie winning Strictly tomorrow to get my trifecta victory.

A quick word on BBC4”s Danish political drama, Borgen, which ended for good last Saturday. Fantastic. And how nice to get a “happy ever after” ending in all aspects!

Finally, put these dates in your viewing diary. We will at last find out how Sherlock avoided falling to his death when the new series starts on BBC1 on New Year’s Day, and then the following night, ITV has a sixth run of Benidorm, with series seven already ordered! Seasons greetings and see you in January!

The Courier Friday TV

December 20

00:35 01:20 01:25 07:00 10:15 11:00 12:00 12:30 13:15 14:00 14:30 14:45 15:30 16:30 Martin 17:15 18:15 19:00 19:30 20:00 20:30 21:00 21:30 22:00 22:30 23:00 23:25 23:35

This Week Skiing Weatherview BBC News Breakfast Heir Hunters Homes Under the Hammer Caught Red Handed Helicopter Heroes Bargain Hunt BBC News; Weather Regional News and Weather Perfection Escape to the Country Christmas Kitchen with James Flog It! Pointless BBC News BBC London News The One Show A Question of Sport EastEnders Citizen Khan Have I Got News for You Live at the Apollo BBC News National Lottery Update The Graham Norton Show

07:00 This Is BBC Two 07:30 Homes Under the Hammer 08:30 Helicopter Heroes 09:15 This World 10:15 Africa 2013: Countdown to the Rains 11:15 Animal Park 12:00 BBC News 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 The Importance of Being Earnest 14:30 Fred Dibnah's Age of Steam 15:00 Cash in the Attic 15:45 The Truth About Lions 16:45 Cagney & Lacey 17:30 Are You Being Served? 18:05 'Allo 'Allo! 18:30 Priceless Antiques Roadshow 19:00 Celebrity Eggheads 19:30 Strictly Come Dancing It Takes Two 20:30 Christmas University Challenge 21:00 Mastermind 21:30 Kangaroo Dundee 22:00 2013: Moments in Time 23:00 QI 23:30 Newsnight

01:35 04:00 04:25 06:05 07:00 09:30 10:25 11:30 13:30 & Mel 14:30 14:55 15:00 16:00 16:59 17:00 18:00 19:00 19:30 19:55 20:00 20:30 21:00

Jackpot247 Tonight ITV Nightscreen The Jeremy Kyle Show Daybreak Lorraine The Jeremy Kyle Show This Morning Let's Do Christmas with Gino ITV News and Weather ITV Meridian Weather 60 Minute Makeover Dickinson's Real Deal ITV Meridian Weather Show Me the Telly The Chase ITV News Meridian ITV News and Weather Text Santa Emmerdale Coronation Street Text Santa

GORDON RAMSAY’S FESTIVE HOME COOKING

00:20 Tudor Monastery Farm 01:20 Panorama 01:50 This Is BBC Two 05:00 Schools L8R Youngers 2 06:10 Schools Life on Planet Ant 06:40 Schools The Charles Dickens Show: Christmas

In this Christmas special, the chef shows the two distinct sides to his cooking in his restaurants, where the dishes are intricate, and at home, where the food he enjoys is easier and faster to make. He prepares some of his favourite seasonal food, including eggs Benedict, beef fillet with salsa verde, and smoky pulled pork with chipotle may onnaise.

00:00 Gogglebox 00:50 Karaoke Nights 01:45 24 Hours in A&E 02:45 Embarrassing Bodies 03:40 One Born Every Minute 04:35 A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun 05:30 Deal or No Deal 06:25 Countdown 07:10 According to Jim 08:00 Will & Grace 08:55 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 11:00 Ruth Watson Means Business! 12:00 The Big Bang Theory 13:00 Come Dine with Me 15:10 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Four in a Bed 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Gordon Ramsay's Festive Home Cooking 22:00 Big Fat Gypsy Weddings 23:00 Alan Carr: Chatty Man

00:00 Excessive Compulsive Collectors 01:00 SuperCasino 04:05 Red Sea Jaws 04:55 HouseBusters 05:45 Great Artists 06:10 Nick's Quest 06:35 Wildlife SOS 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:25 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Milkshake! Bop Box 07:55 Milkshake! Monkey 08:00 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Mr Men Show 10:25 Mist: Sheepdog Tales 10:45 Inside Hollywood 10:50 Paul Merton in Europe 11:50 Eddie Stobart: Trucks and Trailers 12:50 Pothole Britain Drivers Beware! 13:50 5 News Lunchtime 13:55 Neighbours 14:25 Chinese Food in Minutes 14:30 The Christmas Heart 16:15 Santa Jr 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 The Dog Rescuers 19:30 NewsTalk Live 20:00 World's Strongest Man 21:00 Eddie Stobart: Trucks and Trailers 22:00 Eraser

The Courier Saturday TV

December 21

02:50 An Adventure in Space and 00:25 The Matt Lucas Awards 01:05 Virus 02:35 Weatherview 02:40 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 11:00 Saturday Kitchen Live 12:30 Nigel Slater's Christmas Suppers 13:00 Football Focus 13:45 Sportsday 14:00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 14:15 Inspire: The Olympic Journey 14:45 Live Equestrian 17:30 Final Score 18:20 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 18:40 Pointless Celebrities 19:30 Strictly Come Dancing 20:55 Atlantis 21:40 Strictly Come Dancing

Time

00:00 ITV News and Weather 00:45 Text Santa 02:05 Jackpot247 07:00 This Is BBC Two 04:00 Murder, She Wrote 05:30 ITV Nightscreen 07:15 Natural World 07:00 Babar and the Adventures of Badou 08:15 Antiques Road Trip 07:10 The Cat in the Hat Knows a 09:15 Antiques Road Trip Lot About That 07:35 Dino Dan 10:15 Antiques Road Trip 08:00 Canimals 08:25 Sooty 11:15 Restoration Home 08:35 Horrid Henry 08:45 Om Nom Stories 12:15 Alex Polizzi's Christmas Fix 08:50 Kick Buttowski 09:15 Bottom Knocker Street 13:15 The A to Z of TV Cooking 09:30 Munch Box 14:00 12 Dates of Christmas 10:25 ITV News 10:30 The Home of Fabulous Cakes 15:25 Confessions of a Shopaholic 11:25 Murder, She Wrote 12:25 ITV News and Weather 17:00 Are You Being Served? 12:30 Surprise Surprise 13:30 Let's Do Christmas with Gino & 17:30 Flog It! Mel 18:25 The Young Victoria 14:30 The Unforgettable 15:00 The Mummy 20:05 Christmas University Challenge 17:05 Harry Potter: Behind the Magic The Order of the Phoenix 20:35 'Allo 'Allo! 18:05 ITV Meridian Weather 18:15 ITV News and Weather 21:20 Dad's Army 18:30 The Chase 19:30 Harry Potter and the Order of 22:00 The World's Most Expensive the Phoenix Stolen Paintings 22:10 The Illusionists 23:15 ITV News and Weather 23:00 The Many Faces of 23:30 You, Me and Dupree 04:20 This Is BBC Two

00:05 Stand Up for the Week 00:55 Gogglebox 01:40 Barney's Version 03:50 The Big C 04:50 Don't Trust the B**** in Apartment 23 05:10 90210 05:55 Deal or No Deal 06:50 Father Christmas 07:20 Dreamer 09:00 The Morning Line 10:00 The American Football Show 11:00 Frasier 11:30 The Big Bang Theory 12:00 The Big Bang Theory 12:30 The Simpsons 13:00 The Simpsons 13:25 Jamie's Best Ever Christmas 14:30 Channel 4 Racing 17:00 Gadget Man 17:30 Come Dine with Me 18:05 Come Dine with Me 18:35 Come Dine with Me 19:05 Come Dine with Me 19:35 Come Dine with Me 20:05 Channel 4 News 20:15 Deck the Halls 22:00 Four Christmases 23:40 Sanctum

THE ILLUSIONISTS

22:50 The National Lottery Live 23:00 BBC News; Weather 23:20 Match of the Day

00:00 Weather 00:05 Tamara Drewe 01:50 The Culture Show

Renowned magicians and illusionists Andrew Basso, Jeff Hobson, Kevin James, Mark Kalin, Jinger Leigh and Dan Sperry perform in front of a celebritypacked audience at Hammersmith's Apollo theatre, as part of a sellout world tour that began at the Sydney Opera House. The show fea tures a mix of dazzling largescale tricks, comedy magic and deathdefying escape stunts, many of which have never been seen before. Hosted by Stephen Mulhern.

00:15 Criminals: Caught on Camera 01:15 SuperCasino 04:05 Monty Halls and 04:55 Motorsport Mundial 05:20 House Doctor 05:45 Great Artists 06:10 Nick's Quest 06:35 Wildlife SOS 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Fifi and the Flowertots 07:25 Bubble Guppies 07:35 The Mr Men Show 07:50 Chloe's Closet 08:00 Roobarb and Custard Too 08:10 Bananas in Pyjamas 08:25 Make Way for Noddy 08:45 City of Friends 09:20 Little Princess 09:35 Angelina Ballerina 09:55 Rupert Bear 10:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:25 Jelly Jamm 10:45 LazyTown 11:10 Inside Hollywood 11:20 The Dog Rescuers 11:50 World's Strongest Man 12:55 Eddie Stobart: Trucks and Trailers 13:55 Home Alone 4 15:40 Debbie Macomber's Call Me Mrs Miracle 17:25 A Cinderella Story 19:15 Off Season 21:00 A Christmas Carol 22:55 5 News Weekend 23:00 The Bible

The Courier Sunday TV

December 22

01:30 The Wrong Mans 02:00 Wake Wood 03:25 The Day I Got My Sight Back 00:45 The Football League Show 04:15 The Silent War 02:05 Weatherview 05:15 This Is BBC Two 02:10 BBC News 07:00 This Is BBC Two 07:00 Breakfast 08:00 Natural World 08:30 Match of the Day 09:00 Antiques Road Trip 10:00 The Andrew Marr Show 10:00 Antiques Road Trip 11:00 Fern Britton Meets 11:00 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites 12:00 George of the Jungle 12:30 Tom Kerridge Cooks 13:25 MOTD2 Extra Christmas 14:00 BBC News 14:10 Weather for the Week Ahead 13:00 Food & Drink 14:00 EastEnders 14:15 Christmas Kitchen with 15:55 Flog It! James Martin 16:25 Nativity! 15:00 When Miranda Met Bruce 18:05 Ski Sunday 16:05 Wallace & Gromit: A Matter 18:50 The 12 Drinks of Christmas of Loaf and Death 19:50 Porridge 16:35 Snow Babies 20:30 TOTP2 17:35 Songs of Praise 22:00 The Choir: Sing While You 18:15 Alice in Wonderland Work 19:30 BBC News; Regional News 23:00 The Sarah Millican Television and Weather Programme 20:00 Countryfile 23:30 Hebburn 21:00 Antiques Roadshow 22:00 The Whale 23:30 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 23:55 Sting: When the Last Ship Sails

01:30 Jackpot247 04:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 04:45 ITV Nightscreen 07:00 Babar and the Adventures of Badou 07:10 The Cat in the Hat Knows a Lot About That 07:35 Dino Dan 08:00 Canimals 08:25 Bookaboo 08:35 Horrid Henry 08:50 Victorious 09:15 Bottom Knocker Street 09:30 Fort Boyard Ultimate Challenge 10:25 ITV News 10:30 Storage Hoarders 11:30 Sunday Side Up 12:30 Sunday Scoop 13:30 ITV News and Weather 13:34 ITV Meridian Weather 13:35 Inside the National Trust 14:35 Let's Do Christmas with Gino & Mel 15:35 Show Me the Telly 16:35 Midsomer Murders 18:35 Harry Potter: Behind the Magic The HalfBlood Prince 19:35 ITV Meridian Weather 19:45 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Coronation Street 20:30 Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince 23:30 Sex, Lies and a Very British Scapegoat

SEX, LIES AND A VERY BRITISH SCAPEGOAT

00:00 Studio 00:30 01:00

The Two Ronnies: The Recordings The Wrong Mans The Wrong Mans

Documentary following Andrew Lloyd Webber, the composer of new musical Stephen Ward, as he uncovers the hidden hedonistic world of luxury, passion and parties that surrounded the affair between War Secretary John Profumo and 19year old model Christine Keeler a scandal that forced the politician to resign from his post.

01:50 02:35 03:20 05:35 06:15 06:40 07:40 08:55 09:25 10:00 10:30 13:30 13:55 14:25 14:55 15:20 16:25 Sarah 17:25 17:30 19:25 19:55 22:00 23:25

Stand Up for the Week Fresh Meat Hollyoaks 90210 Suburgatory The American Football Show Garfield Gets Real Jamie's Money Saving Meals Jamie's Money Saving Meals Jamie's Money Saving Meals Sunday Brunch The Big Bang Theory The Big Bang Theory The Simpsons The Simpsons Kirstie's Crafty Christmas A Great British Christmas with Beeny Channel 4 News Scrooged The Snowman Night at the Museum 2 Homeland Never Let Me Go

00:55 Inside Hollywood 01:00 SuperCasino 04:05 Helicopter Warfare 05:00 Wildlife SOS 05:25 Make It Big 05:50 Roary the Racing Car 06:00 Angels of Jarm 06:10 Hana's Helpline 06:20 Angels of Jarm 06:25 The Funky Valley Show 06:40 Roary the Racing Car 06:50 Hana's Helpline 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Fifi and the Flowertots 07:25 Bubble Guppies 07:40 The Mr Men Show 07:50 Chloe's Closet 08:00 Roobarb and Custard Too 08:10 Bananas in Pyjamas 08:25 Make Way for Noddy 08:35 City of Friends 08:50 Little Princess 09:10 Angelina Ballerina 09:25 Rupert Bear 09:40 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:00 Jelly Jamm 10:15 LazyTown 10:45 Toby's Travelling Circus 10:55 The Mr Men Show 11:15 World's Strongest Man 12:15 My Family and Other Turkeys with Nigel Marven 13:15 Richie Rich's Christmas Wish 14:50 Hats Off to Christmas 16:35 It's a Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie 18:25 The Muppets and Lady Gaga at Christmas 19:40 The Family Man 21:55 5 News Weekend 22:00 The Bible 23:50 Far and Away

The Courier Monday TV

December 23

03:35 Countryfile 04:30 Holby City 01:15 The Magdalene Sisters 03:05 Weatherview

05:30 This Is BBC Two 07:20 Natural World

03:10 BBC News

08:20 Food & Drink

07:00 Breakfast

09:20 Tom Kerridge Cooks

10:00 The Snow Queen 11:00 Donkey's Carolling Christmas tacular

Christmas 09:50 The Culture Show 10:20 The Bishop's Wife

11:05 Ella Enchanted 12:35 Wallace & Gromit: The Wrong Trousers

12:05 Westminster Abbey 13:05 Operation Iceberg 14:05 Operation Iceberg

13:10 Only Fools and Horses 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:40 The Santa Clause 16:15 Toy Story

15:05 Equestrian 16:05 Secretariat 18:00 Flog It! 19:00 Celebrity Eggheads 19:30 The Great British Bake Off

17:30 A Christmas Carol 19:00 BBC News

20:30 The Good Life 21:00 Christmas University

19:30 Weather

Challenge

20:00 Celebrity Mastermind 20:30 A Question of Sport

21:30 Jane Eyre 23:20 QI XL

21:00 EastEnders 21:30 Would I Lie to You? 22:00 John Bishop's Christmas Show 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 Match of the Day 2

00:00 A Bunch of Amateurs 01:35 TaiPan

00:35 ITV News and Weather 00:49 ITV Meridian Weather 00:50 The Cube 01:45 Premiership Rugby Union 02:35 The Store 03:55 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 04:40 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 Murder, She Wrote 11:25 The Mighty Ducks 13:25 Let's Do Christmas with Gino & Mel 14:25 ITV News and Weather 14:40 ITV Meridian Weather 14:45 Rod Stewart's Christmas 15:55 Hulk 18:30 You've Been Framed! 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Tales from Northumberland with Robson Green 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Gary Barlow: Journey to Afghanistan 23:00 ITV News and Weather 23:10 ITV Meridian Weather 23:20 Panto!

01:20 Alan Carr: Chatty Man 02:15 American Football Live 05:45 KOTV Boxing Weekly 06:10 Baking Mad with Eric Lanlard 06:35 Suburgatory 07:00 The Treacle People 07:15 Valiant 08:25 That Darn Cat 10:05 Father Christmas 10:40 The Simpsons 11:10 White Christmas 13:30 100 Greatest Toys with Jonathan Ross 16:40 Deal or No Deal 17:40 Come Dine with Me 18:45 Channel 4 News 19:00 4thought.tv 19:05 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Nigella Bites 21:00 Food Unwrapped 22:00 Heston's Great British Food 23:00 Fresh Meat 23:50 Raised by Wolves

MOST SHOCKING CELEBRITY MOMENTS 2013 Countdown of the biggest showbusiness stories and scandals of the year, from Justin Bieber losing his monkey at Munich airport to Miley Cyrus's con troversial performance at the MTV Video Music Awards. Sinitta gives her thoughts on Simon Cowell's baby, and Celebrity Big Brother winner Charlotte Crosby talks about her lack of bladder control. Plus much more!

02:30 SuperCasino 04:05 Helicopter Warfare 04:55 Wildlife SOS 05:20 Make It Big 05:50 Roary the Racing Car 06:00 Angels of Jarm 06:10 Hana's Helpline 06:20 Angels of Jarm 06:25 The Funky Valley Show 06:40 Roary the Racing Car 06:50 Hana's Helpline 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Milkshake! Bop Box 07:55 Milkshake! Monkey 08:00 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:10 Peppa Pig 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:35 Bananas in Pyjamas 09:55 Tickety Toc 10:05 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 10:15 Roary the Racing Car 10:30 The Mr Men Show 10:45 Mist: Sheepdog Tales 11:00 World's Strongest Man 12:00 Eddie Stobart: Trucks and Trailers 13:00 Building the Ice Hotel 14:00 Harvey 16:10 Oklahoma! 18:55 Christmas with the Kranks 21:00 The Gadget Show 22:00 Most Shocking Celebrity Moments 2013

The Courier Tuesday TV

December 24

00:35 Citizen Khan

00:05 Never Mind the Buzzcocks

01:05 The Graham Norton Show

00:35 Pilgrimage with Simon Reeve

01:50 Weatherview

01:35 Witchfinder General

01:55 BBC News

03:00 Film 2013

07:00 Breakfast 10:00 The Gruffalo

03:30 Fox Wars 04:10 This Is BBC Two 07:00 This Is BBC Two

10:30 A CBeebies Christmas Carol

07:50 Natural World

11:10 Sarah & Duck

08:50 Herbie Rides Again

11:20 The Santa Clause 3: the

10:15 Westminster Abbey

Escape Clause 12:45 Only Fools and Horses

11:15 An American in Paris 13:05 Splash 14:50 Guys and Dolls

14:10 BBC News

17:15 Fantasia

14:20 Regional News

19:15 Carols from King's

14:28 Weather

20:30 Morecambe and Wise

14:30 The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe

21:00 Victoria Wood's Midlife Christmas 22:00 QI XL

16:40 Toy Story 2

22:45 Mel Smith: I've Sort of Done

18:10 Shrek the Halls

Things

18:35 BBC News

23:45 Comedy Connections

18:50 BBC London News

00:45 All Star Family Fortunes 01:20 Jackpot247 04:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 04:40 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Christmas Takeover 12:30 Catchphrase 13:15 ITV News and Weather 13:30 Let's Do Christmas with Gino & Mel 14:30 Steppin' Out with Katherine Jenkins 15:45 Gary Barlow: Journey to Afghanistan 16:45 Fast Freddie, the Widow and Me 18:15 The Nation's Favourite Christmas Song 19:45 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 You've Been Framed! 21:00 Midsomer Murders 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:15 Christmas Carols on ITV

SCROOGE

18:53 Weather 18:55 Finding Nemo 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 Holby City 22:00 Last Tango in Halifax 23:00 Not Going Out 23:45 Outnumbered

Classic British version of Charles Dickens's Christmas tale, starring Alastair Sim. On Christmas Eve, a tightfisted businessman is visit ed by three ghosts who remind him of the true spirit of Christmas.

00:25 Peep Show 03:25 Nashville 04:05 90210 04:45 Suburgatory 05:10 Suburgatory 05:30 Deal or No Deal 06:25 Baking Mad with Eric Lanlard 06:55 Wilde Stories 07:20 Wilde Stories 07:50 Wilde Stories 08:15 The Bear 08:45 The Nativity Story 10:45 The Big Bang Theory 11:15 The Big Bang Theory 11:40 The Simpsons 12:10 The Simpsons 12:40 The Simpsons 13:10 Deal or No Deal 14:10 It's a Wonderful Life 16:50 The Grinch 19:00 The Simpsons 19:25 Hollyoaks 19:55 Channel 4 News 20:00 4thought.tv 20:05 Ice Age: A Mammoth Christmas 20:30 The Snowman and the Snowdog 21:05 Big Fat Gypsy Weddings 22:00 The IT Crowd 23:00 The IT Crowd

00:50 Building the Ice Hotel 01:45 SuperCasino 04:05 Helicopter Warfare 04:55 House Doctor 05:20 House Doctor 05:45 Great Artists 06:10 Nick's Quest 06:35 Wildlife SOS 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Milkshake! Bop Box 07:55 Milkshake! Monkey 08:00 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 08:55 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:10 Peppa Pig 09:25 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:40 Bananas in Pyjamas 09:55 Tickety Toc 10:05 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 10:15 Roary the Racing Car 10:30 The Mr Men Show 10:45 Mist: Sheepdog Tales 11:00 Chinese Food in Minutes 11:05 The Dog Rescuers 11:40 World's Strongest Man 12:40 Eddie Stobart: Trucks and Trailers 13:40 Clash of the Titans 16:00 Dirty Rotten Scoundrels 18:10 Scrooge 20:00 Eddie Stobart: Trucks and Trailers 21:00 The Muppets and Lady Gaga at Christmas 22:10 Greatest Ever Christmas Movies

The Courier Wednesday TV

December 25

00:30 BBC News 00:40 Weather 00:45 Westminster Abbey: The First Eucharist of Christmas 02:05 Protocol 03:35 Weatherview 03:40 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:00 The Gruffalo's Child 10:25 The Penguins of Madagascar 10:40 Old Jack's Boat 11:00 Christmas Day: Live from Westminster Abbey 12:00 Chicken Run 13:20 BBC News 13:25 Weather 13:30 The Princess and the Frog 15:00 Top of the Pops 16:00 The Queen 16:10 BBC News 16:15 Weather 16:20 Toy Story 3 18:00 Strictly Come Dancing 19:15 Call the Midwife 20:30 Doctor Who 21:30 EastEnders 22:30 Mrs Brown's Boys

00:25 The Awakening 02:05 The Spiral Staircase 03:30 This Is BBC Two 07:00 This Is BBC Two 07:20 Natural World 08:20 Herbie Goes Bananas 09:50 The Red Shoes 12:00 Carols from King's 13:15 Music of the Monarchy with David Starkey 14:20 Swingin' Christmas 15:30 Morecambe and Wise 16:00 Doctor Who at the Proms 17:15 An Adventure in Space and Time 18:45 The Queen 18:55 Matthew Bourne's Sleeping Beauty 20:40 Christmas Night with the Two Ronnies 21:30 Morecambe & Wise in Pieces 22:30 The Tractate Middoth 23:05 MR James: Ghost Writer

00:15 Couples Retreat 02:15 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 03:00 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Babar and the Adventures of Badou 07:10 Dino Dan 07:40 Sooty 07:50 Bookaboo 08:05 Horrid Henry 08:20 Almost Naked Animals 08:40 Almost Naked Animals 08:55 Bottom Knocker Street 09:10 Bottom Knocker Street 09:25 Dinner Date 10:25 Santa Claus 12:25 The Chase 13:30 The Big Reunion 14:30 You've Been Framed! 15:00 River Deep Mountain High: James Nesbitt in New Zealand 16:00 The Queen 16:10 ITV News and Weather 16:20 Tangled 18:15 Paul O'Grady: For the Love of Dogs 19:15 Emmerdale 20:15 ITV News and Weather 20:30 Coronation Street 21:30 Downton Abbey 23:30 ITV News and Weather 23:45 Love Actually

00:05 The IT Crowd 01:10 The Inbetweeners 03:05 Idiocracy 04:25 90210 05:05 Suburgatory 06:15 A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun 07:10 Ivor the Invisible 07:35 Prep & Landing 08:00 Famous Fred 08:25 Little Wolf's Book of Badness 08:55 Olive, the Other Reindeer 09:50 James and the Giant Peach 11:25 Dr Seuss' Horton Hears a Who! 13:05 The Big Bang Theory 13:35 The Big Bang Theory 14:05 The Simpsons 14:40 The Snowman 15:10 The Snowman and the Snowdog 15:45 The Simpsons 16:15 Deal or No Deal 17:15 The Alternative Christmas Message 17:20 Channel 4 News 17:30 4thought.tv 17:35 The Muppet Christmas Carol 19:15 Home Alone 2: Lost in New York 21:30 Bear's Wild Weekend with Stephen Fry 22:30 Alan Carr: Chatty Man 23:35 Man Down

HOME ALONE 2: LOST IN NEW YORK

01:05 Britain's Craziest Christmas Lights 02:05 SuperCasino 04:05 Blackpool Lights 04:55 House Doctor 05:20 House Doctor 05:45 Great Artists 06:10 Nick's Quest 06:35 Wildlife SOS 07:00 Igam Ogam 07:10 Fireman Sam 07:20 Milkshake! Bop Box 07:25 Milkshake! Monkey 07:30 Little Princess 07:40 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 07:55 Thomas & Friends 08:05 Noddy in Toyland 08:15 Peppa Pig 08:20 Peppa Pig 08:30 Toby's Travelling Circus 08:40 Bananas in Pyjamas 08:50 Tickety Toc 09:05 Scrooge 11:15 Gone with the Wind 15:35 Casablanca 17:40 Greatest Ever Christmas

Sequel to the hit comedy, starring Macaulay Culkin and Joe Pesci. After becoming separated from his family en route to a Christmas holiday in Florida, Kevin McCallister finds himself alone in New York, where he's destined to meet two old enemies.

Movies 20:30 Britain's Craziest Christmas Lights 21:30 Eddie Stobart: Trucks and Trailers 22:30 Michael Jackson's This Is It

23:05 Michael McIntyre's Showtime

The Courier Thursday TV

December 26

00:05 BBC News 00:15 Weather 00:20 On Christmas Night 00:25 The Vicar of Dibley 01:10 Would I Lie to You? 01:40 Anchorman: the Legend of Ron Burgundy 03:15 Weatherview 03:20 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:00 Room on the Broom 10:25 Mouse and Mole 10:55 101 Dalmatians 12:30 Flushed Away 13:50 BBC News 14:00 Regional News 14:03 Weather 14:05 Wallace & Gromit in The Curse of the Were足Rabbit 15:25 Alice in Wonderland 17:05 Cars 2 18:45 BBC News 19:00 BBC London News 19:03 Weather 19:05 Gangsta Granny 20:15 EastEnders 20:45 Open All Hours 21:15 Death Comes to Pemberley 22:20 Len Goodman's Perfect Christmas 23:00 BBC News 23:15 Regional News 23:20 Weather 23:25 Match of the Day

00:05 QI XL 00:50 Hebburn 01:20 Dead Poets Society 03:25 This Is BBC Two 07:00 This Is BBC Two 07:05 Natural World 07:50 Herbie Goes to Monte Carlo 09:35 Westminster Abbey 10:35 Earthflight 11:35 Pride & Prejudice: Having a Ball 13:05 Emma 15:00 Operation Snow Tiger 16:00 Operation Snow Tiger 17:00 Final Score 18:15 You Have Been Watching 足 David Croft 19:15 Dad's Army 20:45 Christmas University Challenge 21:15 Idris Elba 足 King of Speed 22:15 Ben & James Versus the Arabian Desert 23:15 King Arthur

02:10 Christmas Carols on ITV 03:10 Closing the Ring 05:05 ITV Nightscreen 07:00 Babar and the Adventures of Badou 07:10 Dino Dan 07:25 Dino Dan 07:40 Sooty 07:50 Bookaboo 08:05 Horrid Henry 08:20 Almost Naked Animals 08:40 Almost Naked Animals 08:55 Bottom Knocker Street 09:10 Bottom Knocker Street 09:25 Dinner Date 10:25 Problem Child 12:00 The Flintstones 13:45 ITV News and Weather 14:05 Casper 16:00 Harry Potter: Behind the Magic 足 The Deathly Hallows: Part 1 17:00 Off Their Rockers 17:30 The Nation's Favourite Elvis Song 19:00 ITV News and Weather 19:15 Emmerdale 20:15 Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 23:05 I Am Britney Jean: Britney Spears' Road to Las Vegas

THE WIZARD OF OZ Classic musical fantasy starring Judy Garland, Ray Bolger, Bert Lahr and Jack Haley. When a huge tornado hits Dorothy's home in Kansas, she is whisked off far away into a strange and dazzling world. There she must escape the clutches of the Wicked Witch of the West and find her way to the Emerald City.

00:05 01:15 01:50 02:20 02:45 03:15 03:40 04:05 05:50 06:30 06:55 Nice 07:15 09:00 10:00 10:30 11:00 11:30 14:05 16:35 17:35 18:35 19:05 19:15 19:20 22:00 2013

Father Ted Father Ted Father Ted Father Ted Father Ted Father Ted Father Ted A Matter of Life and Death 90210 Suburgatory Prep & Landing: Naughty v Mysterious Island Morning Line Frasier Frasier The Big Bang Theory The King and I Channel 4 Racing Deal or No Deal Come Dine with Me Hollyoaks Channel 4 News 4thought.tv Independence Day Big Fat Quiz of the Year

00:40 Greatest Christmas TV Moments 03:35 SuperCasino 04:55 House Doctor 05:20 House Doctor 05:45 Great Artists 06:10 Nick's Quest 06:35 Wildlife SOS 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:25 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Milkshake! Bop Box 07:55 Milkshake! Monkey 08:00 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 08:55 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:10 Peppa Pig 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:35 Bananas in Pyjamas 09:55 Tickety Toc 10:05 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 10:15 Roary the Racing Car 10:30 Mist: Sheepdog Tales 10:45 World's Strongest Man 11:45 Eddie Stobart: Trucks and Trailers 12:45 World's Most Pampered Pets 13:45 High Society 15:55 Meet Me in St Louis 18:15 The Wizard of Oz 20:15 Michael Buble's Christmas Special 21:15 World's Strongest Man 22:15 Britain's Favourite Christmas Songs

Friday, December 20, 2013

AUCTIONS

ACCOUNTANTS Pro Business Support – for all your accountancy needs in English; bookkeeping, taxes, wage slips and more. We cater for companies and selfemployed people; we can deal with everything for you. Call us on 966 923 963 for first consultation free of charge. International Christian Assembly, Calle Pilar de Horadada 5, Torrevieja. Evangelical nondenomina tional church. Sunday serv ices 11am. Children's church 11am. House groups in Torrevieja, Los Balcones, San Javier. Ladies meeting Thursdays 11am. Craft club, Tuesdays, 2pm. Pastor, Rafael Restrepo. All nation alities welcome. Call 966 799 273 or 660 127 276.

CHURCH SERVICES Pilar Christian Community Church Calle Canalejas 3. Pilar de la Horadada. Sunday Service at 11am, and Thursday at 5pm for Prayer and Praise and Worship Home groups meet during the week. All wel come from any church back ground or none. For further information contact PilarChristian.CommunityC hurch@gmail.com 968575417 or 966848806. Reg No:2009SG/A The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints

(Mormons) meet at 10.00 each Sunday at their Torrevieja meetinghouse in the Torreaguas building on the corner of Rambla Juan Mateo Garcia 104, close to the windmill in Torrevieja, 667 533 597.

BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES Unlimited earnings for ambi tious people; low cost, money back guaranteed, phone Suzanne on 627 371 731

CARS FOR SALE Car insurance quotes – new extra discount on fully com prehensive policies at the price of third party! Excellent prices for expats, all policies and call centre staff in English. We will call you back with a quote. 966 923 963

INSURANCE CASER SEGUROS for all your insurance needs, home, car, health, funeral. Policies available in English and German. Call Professional Business Support on 966 923 963 for a quick quote from our friendly staff.

laandvacation.com or Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 2 or 3 bed / 2 bath apart ments in San Miguel. Lift, communal rooftop pool & solarium, video entry sys tem. Available for short or long term rent from 350 pcm. Tel 966723437 or 616 493 487. (148) Santiago De La Ribera. 2 bedroom modern town house with communal pool close to shops and beach. 375 euros plus water and electric bills. +34 968335605. +34 644126700.(148) Ref: 61, A lovely two bed roomed ground floor apart ment, located in the centre of the small Spanish town of Los Montesinos, With a pleasant communal swim ming pool adjacent & all amenities in walking dis tance. Long and short term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 104, 2 Bedroom apart ment in Torrevieja, (near gypsy lane), small balcony, near all amenities and Friday market. €350pcm Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 112, Spacious 3 bed room detached villa with its private pool is located on the El Raso urbanisation near Guardamar. Convenient for all amenities, shops, super market, restaurants and bars. Short term rental avail able. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref 702: Beautiful 2 bed room apartment, located near los Locos beach, beau

tifully furnished. Short term rentals from 175€ per week. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 63, Two bedroom 1st floor apartment situated in Monino Blanco. The proper ty overlooks a superb com munal pool area, in within walking distance of bars, restaurants and shops. Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref 114 This upstairs apart ment is situated just out of the town centre on a lovely urbanisation with a good communal pool. It has two bedrooms with an open plan kitchen, diner and lounge and kitchen. €350 per month plus bills. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

ALARMS

CARPENTER

LONG TERM RENTALS WANTED! Properties, all types, in the Torrevieja area wanted for long term rentals. Call us on 96 692 3963 CBR35 : Townhouse with garage, 3 bedrooms, 2 bath rooms, communal pool, near San Jaime Hospital in Aguas Nuevas area, 450 € pcm, call 966 923 963 CBR23 : Stylish townhouse in Los Montesinos, 3 bed 2 bath with large 65m2 garage, front and back ter races. Unfurnished, inc. only white goods and all light fit tings. 550 € pcm. Call 966 923 963 CBR37 : Smart & modern 1 bedroom ground floor apartment with seaviews

inc.private gated parking. Ideal for a retired couple; located in quiet residential area, shops nearby. La Mata, 325 € pcm, call 966 923 963. CBR38 : Detached villa 5 minutes from San Miguel, 3 Beds, 2 Baths, with garage, 175 m plot, furnished. 500 € pcm, call 966 923 963 . KGVM1 : Quad house in Villamartin, 4 beds, 2 baths, fireplace, garden & balcony, communal Pool. Close to all shops, etc. 650 € pcm. Call to us to view on 966 923 963. CBR36 : Torrevieja town centre, 2 bed top floor apartment with all ameni ties nearby, communal swimming pool. Private bal cony, furnished, ideal for liv ing in all year round. 300€ pcm, call 966 923 963 Horse Riding Stables For Rent in Catral: 14,000 m2 land, 10 individual stables and five paddocks. Includes a 3 bedroom house, Long term rent only. 16,800 euro for the year. 966 923 963 Horse riding Stables for Rent in Algorfa : 3,000 m2, 22 individual stables and 2 paddocks. Long Term Rental only. 11,200 euro for the year. 966 923 963 CBR41 : Two bedroom, two bathroom townhouse in Torrevieja, modern decor, fully furnished, with commu nal pool, 350 € per month, to view call 966 923 963 CBR20: Beachfront apart ment 4th floor with fantastic

CAR HIRE

sea views! 3 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, good sized bal cony, 400€ pcm, call now on 966 923 963 Ref: 709, A lovely 1 bed room apartment in Aguas Nuevas, within a 5 minute walk of the beach. There is a terrace outside with views to the sea. Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

PROPERTY FOR SALE Home and Contents cover Comprehensive policies for house and contents with CASER Seguros excellent prices for expats; policies available in. Call 966 923 963 for a quote. RS116 – 3 bedroom, 2 bath room towncentre apartment in Los Montesinos, beauti fully furnished/decorated, pool on solarium, 85.000€, call 966 923 963 Ground Floor Duplex, on the Monte y Mar estate of Gran Alacant. 3 Bedrooms, 1 Bathroom, Fully furnished, Private Parking, Communal pool Ref. GA0094 NOw only 83.000e Tel. 680333242 Rare opportunity to pur chase on Mediterrania III, Gran Alacant. 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, Private Parking, F/Furnished, Large communal pools & Tennis courts S/W facing, Dramatically reduced for quick sale to 126.000 euros. Ref No. K58 Call 627 711 155 for immediate viewing RS80 : Spanish style town house in Algorfa, totally reformed and redecorated, 110m2, 3 lrg.bedrooms, 1 bathroom, many extras, absolute bargain at 99,500€, call now on 966 923 963 for no obligation viewing. Ref: 510, €70,000. Bungalow located in San Luis. It is close to the super markets, bars and restau

FOR SALE

PROPERTY FOR RENT Viva Villa and Vacation Services, For Short or Long Term Rentals visit: www.vil

CATERING

CLEANERS

Friday, December 20, 2013 rants and is on the local bus route. An Opel Corsa car is included in this sale. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Lovely Corner property in Novamar V, Gran Alacant. 2 bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms Being sold fully furnished including appliances, Has secure underground parking and faces large oasis com munal pool. Walking dis tance to beach. 139.000 Euros, Call 627 711 155 and quote Ref No. K10 Don Pueblo, Gran Alacant. 3 Bedrooms, 3 Bathrooms, Large Kitchen with Galleria, Secure underground park ing, Gas Central Heating, Glazed in Porch, Solarium with stunning views. Viewings absolutely essen tial. Very large property at reduced price of 190.000 euros. Ref No. K38 Call 627 711 155 Viva Villa and Vacation Services are pleased to offer property sales for the Torrevieja and Oriheula

areas of the Costa Blanca, Spain. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 or Visit : www.villaandvacation.com Ref: 104 Lovely 2 Bedroom Apartment, close to Shops, walking distance to Friday Market and Town Centre and the beach. The property is close to the Habaneres Shopping Centre and Aquapark. Recently refur bished apartment in a good central location. Conveniently situated for all the facilities of this modern vibrant town, and only a few blocks away from Torreviejas excellent sea front with its abundant cafes, restaurants and shops. Price €43950 Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref. BRJ1 – 1 bedroom top floor renovated apartment in San Luis. Great sea and lake views. 45.000€. Tel. 966 923 963 Immaculate ground floor Duplex, 2 beds, 2 bath, Private Parking, Situated in

CAR BREAKERS

Novamar, Gran Alacant. Price includes very tasteful furniture and white goods. Walking distance to all local amenities and beach. Now only 129,750 euros. Ref No K24. 627 711 155 KBJ3 : 3 bed penthouse in Guardamar, furnished, fan tastic sea views, communal pool and parking, 149.000€, call 966 923 963 Opportunity to purchase at the off plan price of 195.000 euros. Large 4 Bed, 3 Bath Brand new property. Secure underground parking for 2 cars and communal pool. Situated opposite Gran Alacant and over looks pro jected golf course. Ref No. K52. 627 711 155 RS1 : 3 bed large villa in Torrevieja on 950m2 plot, private pool, Jacuzzi / sauna, parking, 289.000€, call 966 923 963 Ref: 78, €120,000. Three bedroom Quad in Jardin Del Mar VII. There is offroad parking and small storage

shed in the enclosed garden area, communal pool near by. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 2 Bed, 1 Bath Ground floor duplex. Central heating, Grills, Fully furnished, Glazed in Galleria, 2 com munal pools, private parking and walking distance to the Gran Alacant commercial centre. Situated in the popu lar urbanisation of Puerto Marino. Now only 96,500 euros for quick sale Ref No. K46. 627 711 155 Recently reduced 4 Bed, 3 Bath Villa, in Gran Alacant. Quiet Location, Exceptional Views. Converted Under build, 2 Lounges, 2 Kitchens, Private Garage and being sold Fully Furnished, now only 239.950 Ref: L81 Tel. 680333242 Gran Alacant Detached villa, located in a very sought after location.Situated on a

560m2 S/W facing plot and constructed in 2005. Comprising of 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms (2 full baths), LoungeDiner, fully equipped Kitchen, Porch and Solarium with Alicante & Sea Views. ref.L81. €258,000 neg. Tel. 680333242 Ref: KP3100, €183,000. Three bedroom, two bath room detached villa, located in San Luis, on a 450sqm plot, with communal pool. Garage to side of house. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

Ref: 709, €60,000 A lovely 1 bedroom apartment in Aguas Nuevas, within a 5 minute walk of the beach. There is a terrace outside with views to the sea. Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Corner Plot Property in the lower end of Gran Alacant. 3 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, Under build, Roof top Solarium Being sold Fully Furnished including White goods. Walking distance to all local amenities. 139.950e Ref. GA0087 Tel. 680333242

MAN AND A VAN

DRAINAGE PETS

Friday, December 20, 2013

Gran Alacant Town House with a difference. 2 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, Glazed in Porch, Quiet Location, Extra storage areas, and South Facing Private Pool as well as 2 communal pools. Fully Furnished, All mod cons. Greenland Views and all local amenities close by. Ref. No L79. 179.000 euros 680 333 242 Gran Alacant immaculate villa, 3 bedroomed, 3 bath roomed property maintained to a very high standard inside and out and the interi or furnishings are top quali ty, offering a feeling of luxury and good taste. The plot size is 400m2 and has been beautifully tiles, and grav eled and has established palms and plants. Oil fired central heating throughout, log effect fire place, ceiling fans in all rooms, towel heater rails, glazed in show er units, instant hot water, water purifier, free English TV, phone & internet lines, fitted double hanging

wardrobes, safe, glazed in front porch, vanity units and much more. The pool is an 8 X 4 m2 salt water pool, meaning maintenance is much easier plus outside toilet and shower. Sea views to front with Greenland views to the rear. ref K51. €245,000 Tel 680333242 Ref: 516, €39,999. Studio apartment in San Luis, close to amenities. Open plan fully equipped kitchen. Good sized lounge, bedroom and out onto balcony which has been glazed to create another room. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 520, €85,000. Two bed room apartment in Dream Hills, with a fully equipped kitchen, large lounge, glazedin terrace and a large solarium. This property comes with a large commu nal swimming pool. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Lovely clean detached Villa just as you enter Gran Alacant. Very central loca tion, 3 Bedrooms, 3 Bathrooms, Glazed in

RAG AND BONE

Porch, Garden Shed, Private Parking, Attractive Gardens, Private pool Ref: K59 240.000e Tel. 627711155 Large 4 Bedroom, 4 Bathroom, 2 Kitchens, 2 Lounges, 600m2+ plot Large Retractable Glazed in Pool for all year swimming, Private Parking for 4 cars, Very lowmaintenance, Fully Furnished. 330.000e but Negotiable. Very different to the other properties in Gran Alacant and is disabled friendly Ref: L80 Tel. 680333242 Limited Edition Fortaleze in Gran Alacant Exceptionally Large Plot. 4 Bedrooms, 3 Bathrooms, Large Private Pool with Decorative Garden, Private Parking, Electric Gates, Glazed in Porch, Solarium, Under build. Quiet sought after area. Very tastefully fur nished and all included 370.000e Ref. K52 Tel. 627711155 Gran Alacant, detached villa in desirable road close to all amenities, comprising of 3 double bedrooms, 3 baths, lounge diner with working fire place, brand new kitchen with all appliances and black granite work tops, private pool, plot of 550m2, established irrigated gar dens and fruit trees, private parking, solarium, also there is a converted under build giving more bedrooms ,bathroom & kitchen, this house has many extras and

REMOVALS

POOLS

SURVEYOR

PLUMBERS

POOL TABLES

is being sold fully furnished. Ref.k47. €280,000 neg Tel 680333242 Offers Invited on a mid Terraced Town house in Gran Alacant. Comprising of 3 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, Lounge Diner, Galleria, Solarium, Under build. Communal Pool and Gardens, and with Exceptional Views of Alicante. Being Sold Fully Furnished including White Goods. Ref. K42 Tel. 627711155 (reasonable offers only) 2 Bedroom, 2 Bathroom, Unfurnished Mid Terraced Townhouse in GA. Recently decorated throughout means this property is a very clean black canvass. Has AirCon & Security Grills and the use of a Communal Pool. Price recently reduced to 110.000e Ref.K12 Tel. 627711155 Reduced for a quick sale to 95.000 e 2 Bedroom, 1 bath room, Top Floor Duplex in Gran Alacant. Very Modern Property with Many extras. Glazed in Porch, Roof Top Solarium, Wooden Flooring. Immaculate condition and ready to move in. Ref. K15 Tel. 627711155. Gran Alacant, Situated on the very first urbanisation as you enter Gran Alacant, this 2nd floor duplex offers taste and quality. Comprising of 2 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, loungediner, independent kitchen, full rooftop solari um with superb views and recently glazed in porch offering extra living area as well as extra privacy as the glass is mirrored. Ref.K44 €108,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant southfacing, very private villa, with wood land and Alicante views. Situated at the end of a small culdesac which means this villa enjoys a

very peaceful location.3 Bedrooms with fitted wardrobes, 3 Bathrooms, loungediner with working fireplace, fully fitted kitchen with including white goods, large front porch, solarium,workshop and stor age in under build, central heating, air con H/C, ceiling fans, grills, UK T.V, off road parking and plenty of out side parking also. Due to its orientation of this property enjoys full sun, all day, something very important in the winter months. Ref.K24. €237,000 Tel 680333242

QUIZZES Experienced quiz master/question setter with personality available to host quiz nights in local bars. Tel: 664 838 581

SITUATIONS VACANT RADIO COSTA INTERNA TIONAL needs motivated sellers. Spanish, English

WANTED

and German language is a bonus but not essential. Training and good earnings guaranteed. For more info call 644 126 600 or email info@radicocostainterna tional.com Medaesthetics require a Beautician. Must have NVQ Level 3 and working self employed email cv to sabinebrooks@hotmail.com

SOLICITORS Need English speaking solicitors in Torrevieja? Let us help to solve your prob lems with debt recovery, divorce, property, fraud, criminal defence. Call us on 966 923 963, give us brief details and get in touch with your specialist solicitor today

WIG SPECIALIST SALON MARGARETHAS, 23 years in Torrevieja Hair/Wig specialist for Medical illness and Hair Loss problems. We offer dif ferent Hair Replacements, top fillers, Hair prostheses, Toupees and Wigs, Natural and Artificial hair and much more. Also fashion/festival accessories TV/TS are wel come to our service. Please call our salon reception for an appointment with Margaretha on Tel no 966 921 846 Torrevieja (90)

SITUATIONS VACANT

VAN HIRE

Friday, December 20, 2013

Greenside Gossip HAVE A HYBRID HOLIDAY IVIE DAVIES takes a weekly look at the golf scene - golfdavies@gmail.com

With Christmas just a few days away, thoughts might turn to some new golf clubs for that very special gift for yourself. And if that golfing gift has already been pur chased, then what about marking your card for your birthday, as I point you in the direction of the Hybrid? While most golfers have at least one or two Hybrid clubs in their bag these days, there are plenty of players who would benefit from their dis tance enhancing and for giveness qualities by having them in their armoury. Even highly skilled players are benefitting from the playabil ity of Hybrids, so why not give yourself the best chance of scoring by intro ducing a few of them into you own set? But rather than them just replacing the long irons, why not take a look at the other end of the club spectrum? You can get them

with a similar hybrid shape to the sole to stop those thinned and fatted shots wedges too. Hybrids can give golfers of all abilities an improved ball flight and bet ter ball control from all types of lies, and here are five examples where they can help your game. 1: OFF THE TEE Good on long Par 3’s or short Par 4’s, when you need to carry a bunker or water hazard. They have a higher launch angle and come down at a much steep er angle than a long iron, making it easier to clear an obstacle and stop quicker on the green. 2. FROM THE FAIRWAY Their distance control and accuracy make them good for building confidence on long approach shots to the green on Par 5’s and long Par 4’s. You could find your self getting onto more Par

KNOW YOUR RULES QUESTION A player's ball strikes his caddie and comes to rest out of bounds. The player incurs a penalty of one stroke and must drop the ball in bounds at the spot where it struck his caddie. TRUE or FALSE ANSWER FALSE: The player incurs a penalty of one stroke (Rule 19 2) and since the ball lies out of bounds, he must proceed under Rule 271, (if a ball is out of bounds, the player must play a ball, under penalty of one stroke, as nearly as possible at the spot from which the original ball was last played. See Decision 192/2 in the Decision on the Rules.

TITTER ON THE TEE A few days after taking delivery of his new company car, a really smashing BMW 7 series, he decided to take his secretary out for a spin as she had chased the delivery and generally been brilliant sorting out the order. As they are driving along she points to one of the con trols and asks what does that do? "That's cruise control for maintaining an even speed" he replies, What's that pocket for? "That's for my sunglasses", What's that button? "That's for the heated sets" “What are those for?” she says pointing to few golf tees in a tray by the handbrake "Those are for putting my balls on" “Wow" she says "BMW really think of everything"

ing and enjoyable.

WHY ISN’T HENRIK NUMBER ONE?

5’s in three, creating more birdie opportunities. 3: FROM THE ROUGH Long irons have a tendency to get caught up in the rough, causing them to twist, creating mishit shots. By contrast Hybrids have a big ger size and mass, helping to drive through the rough and keeping the face square. 4: LONG BUNKER SHOTS On long bunker shots, it is important to hit the ball first, to get the ball airborne quick ly and out of the sand trap. A Hybrid can come in handy, moving the ball back in the stance you get a steeper angle of attack, the larger

sole and clubhead make it easier to swing through the sand without catching it heavy. 5: AROUND THE GREEN On bump and run shots around the green, the Hybrid can help get the ball rolling quicker. Its shorter shaft helps hit the ball like a putt, without having to choke down the shaft, and never worry about catching it thin or taking a divot. ARE HYBRIDS FOR YOU? Only you can decide obvi ously. Hybrids are increas ingly playing a part in every golfer’s game. They simply make it that much easier – which makes it more reward

As Henrik Stenson holed out for an eagle and a six shot win at the European Tour’s season ending DP World Championship in Dubai, it was almost unthinkable to assume he wasn’t the best player in the world right now. Stenson is playing better golf than anyone has in the world all year. But take a look at the World Golf Rankings and he’s still third, some way behind Tiger Woods and only just behind Adam Scott. How is it to have won both Tour’s most lucrative end of season events and captured the top spot on both the FedEx Cup and Race To Dubai series and it doesn’t make him the best golfer in the world, well at least not officially? His results since July’s Scottish Open in July read like a breathtaking golf resume. Of his last 12 tour naments both on the European and PGA Tour. He

has finished in the top three seven times, winning three of them. No one in the world of golf has been able to pro duce consistency like this since Tiger Woods in the 2000s (pick any year from 20002008 for the definition of ‘consistent golf domina tion’). The reason Stenson isn’t at the top is a combina tion of time and points. A player’s world ranking is cal culated by adding up the total amount of points amassed over the last two years and dividing them by the number of ranking tour naments played during that period. What they are left with is an average points fig ure. Some tournaments have more ranking points than others and every Tour is allo cated a preset number of points correlating to tour strength, and the stronger the field, the more ranking points are available. The maximum distribution of points are reserved for the four majors, and these are fixed, where 100 points go to the winner down to 1.2 points for 60th place. Certain events are allocated with a minimum number of points, for instance on the European Tour the BMW PGA Championship will always have a winner’s points share of no fewer than 64, howev er, if the field is strong, con taining top ranked home tour players and high ranking world players then the win ner’s points would be higher. Stenson’s form has come late. He’s cleaned out the end of season trophies, taken the awards and acco lades and banked a very large fortune, but he missed out on the ultimate prize of the majors. To play like this next season and not win a major will come as a sur prise. Stenson is battle hard ened and looks to be embracing his form, not fear ing it. He still has some way to go to catch up with Tiger Woods, whose two year stretch has seen him pick up eight PGA Tour titles. And it’s because of this two year cal culation that Stenson is third, as the world rankings look at a player’s performance over the past two years, and it is exactly one year ago that Stenson signaled a return to form when he won the South African Open. If he contin ues to perform at the levels he has done, he may cer tainly catch Tiger Woods up next year. But if Woods matches his own fivewin season, then Stenson, and everyone else, will find it dif ficult to keep pace.

Friday, December 20, 2013

EASY FOR BARCA BARCELONA 3 CARTAGENA 0 (Agg 7-1)

ANGEL WINGS IT REAL MADRID 2 OLIMPIC XATIVA 0 (Agg 2-0)

Real Madrid safely reached the last 16 of the Copa del Rey by beating plucky min nows Olimpic Xativa 20 at the Bernabeu on Wednesday. Carlo Ancelotti's men found themselves in the unusual position of fretting about con ceding away goals given the Segunda Division B side had ground out a surprise goalless draw at La Murta two weeks ago. But Real's defenders would do their jobs in the cap ital and, at the other end of the pitch, Asier Illarramendi (16) opened the scoring before Angel Di Maria’s (pictured) 28thminute penalty set up a meeting with Osasuna. It was all a formality for Barcelona on Tuesday as they cantered through to the Copa Del Rey last 16 with a 30 2nd leg win over second division

Cartagena. Cartagena knew there was no way back once Pedro consoli dated the home side’s already huge advantage, and Tello added to the vis

itors’ misery in the second half as he doubled Barcelona’s lead and Neymar finished things off with a header for 30 in the dying moments.

COPA OF WOE

Neymar on target again BARCELONA 2 VILLARREAL 1

ELCHE 0 VILLARREAL 1 (Agg 2-3)

A second half shot from the edge of the box from Jeremy Perbet(pic tured) bundled Elche out of the Copa del Rey on Tuesday night. After a cagey first half, the visitors took control, and got their reward in the 58th minute. They should have made it 2 nil 8 minutes later, when on a break away with Villarreal having 3 men up front against a lone Elche defender, Pereira had his shot pushed wide by Toto. Elche tried their hardest to get an equaliser in the last few minutes, but it wasn’t to be.

Two goals by the inform Neymar guid ed Barcelona to a 21 Saturday victory over Villarreal at the Nou Camp to stay level pegging with Atletico Madrid at the top of the Primera Division. Neymar con verted a penalty after Mario Gaspar had handled the ball, only for the visitors to

equalise through Mateo Musacchio's fierce header three minutes after the break. Barcelona were finding Villarreal's defence tough to break down but they eventually found their way through in the 68th minute when Neymar fired home a simple goal.

REAL LOSE GROUND ELCHE LOSE AGAIN OSASUNA 2 REAL MADRID 2

Real Madrid fought back from two goals and a man down to salvage a 22 draw with Osasuna in Pamplona, but are now 5 points off the top of the table. Oriol Riera struck twice for the hosts in the first half and an Osasuna win looked all the more certain when Sergio Ramos was sent off for two

LEVANTE 2 ELCHE 1

Cristian Sapunaru put Elche in front after 26 minutes last Friday night, when Alberto bookable offences. However, Isco gave Botia nodded down the ball for Sapunaru to Madrid hope by scoring just moments before fire home. Levante got their equaliser in the halftime and a headed goal by Pepe com 41st minute when Nabil El Zhar crossed for pleted the comeback on 80 minutes, by Barral to head into the net. Boakye had a which time Osasuna had also been reduced glorious chance to restore Elche's lead in the to 10 men, with Francisco Silva dismissed 69th minute when he was picked out by Edu for picking up two yellow cards. Albacar's corner, but he fired wide from close

range and Barral soon made him pay as he headed in Pedro Rios' cross. Elche's only chance at an equaliser came deep into stop page time when Aaron Niguez headed over from Albacar's freekick. Their final league match before the holiday break is at home to Malaga this evening (Friday) with a 10.00pm kick off, as they stand in 14th place in the table, with 17 points from 16 matches.

Friday, December 20, 2013

POCO LOCO? MUCHO LOCO!

Now even seventh isn’t good enough in the Prem Wow! You don’t even have to be in the bottom half of the Prestigious Prem, let alone get within reach of the Dreaded Drop Department to get your cards. Just as we were digesting poor old Steve Clarke’s sum mary dismissal as he was booted out of West Brom after a couple of dodgy defeats, then following Sunday’s 5 – 0 mauling at home by Liverpool, Spurs’ jefe Andre VillasBoas has fallen on his wallet and gone too. Any lunatics wanna a job? Very wellpaid but hugely stressful and mediocrity is not an option. Managers are not just poco loco, they’re all crazy, they must be to do the job. It’s got to be the money, because the odds against them succeeding are so

loaded, it hurts. Tony Pulis was doing a decent job at unfashionable Stoke just by keeping the Potters in the Prem ‘til booted out by fool ish fan fire so now he’s taken the job at (then) bottom club Crystal Palace in the DDD, and actually looks to be teaching the Eagles to fly again – good luck, Tony. The huge Liverpool defeat hurt Spurs badly. The Lillywhites are now a huge eight points behind bitter rivals and league leaders Arsenal, it was the worst result at White Hart Lane for 16 years. Irrelevant that despite that and other key defeats – like 6 0 at the Man city Coliseum Tottenham are still somehow seventh. There won’t be many tears shed down the Lane for VillasBoas, who has never been taken to the hearts of

true Tottenham diehards, and the credibility of the young previouslywell thoughtof Portuguese is now at rockbottom. His latest set back comes only eighteen months after sustaining the same fate at the poisoned Chalice of nearby Stamford Bridge, although his 53.7% win ratio for Spurs was impressively better than his predecessors (oh and btw Harry Redknapp’s Spurs were fourth when he got the boot, but didn’t qualify for Europe). Hey, worrabout that Franco Baldini, the newish ‘Technical Director’ of Tottenham? Surely he’s got some responsibility for the devastating results in his role? And who’s favourite for the Lillywhitehot seat is any one’s guess – surely not Glenn Hoddle, as has been

mooted, his managerial CV is not exactly success stamped. Post Garethgate the right high standard of players are already in situ at White Hot Lane, it just needs a (very) sound manager to sort it all out – but who? Over half the present new team came in from the Balebun dle: Soldado, Paulinho (when he’s finished his ban for taking out Suarez neckhigh, Brazil v U r u g u a y style),Eriksen, Chadli, Capoue, Chiriches and Lamela are all c l a s s , although a d e c e n t g o a l i e m i g h t help,

Hugo Lloris is a liability. In the Birmingham area, it seems Steve Clarke’s crime stems from back in August when he challenged his own ers to spend big and get ambitious – as though finish ing eighth the previous sea son wasn’t challenging enough. Uncompromising

TORRY THRASHED FC TORREVIEJA 0 ATLETICO SAGUNTINO 4

Torrevieja’s season is quickly going off the rails after a prom ising start and this poor performance did nothing to give support ers any immediate hope of better fare in the New Year. Saguntino started brightly, and after 20 minutes a cracking shot from Fran Gamez gave Carrion no chance as they took the lead. Up front, Torrevieja offered just hopeful balls to

their lone man Obele, and things got worse before half time when Rafa(pictured) was rightly sent off for a dreadful tackle in the centre circle. In the 2nd half, Tobias

made it 2 nil for the visitors, as the match was sealed up with 2 more goals, with Torry’s best chance coming from an Alberto free kick which just went wide past the Saguntino post. Torrevieja have now dropped to 12th place and entertain Alzira this Sunday with a 5.00pm kick off, once again at the Nelson Mandela stadium, as pitch improvements are completed at the Vicente Garcia.

MURCIA FLATTERED ITV ORIHUELA 0 MURCIA 22

An injury ravaged Orihuela side missing 8 key players, gave a good account of themselves in their Primera Autonomica game last Saurday. Good defence and a firm scrum, meant that Murcia did not score until half an hour with a well worked unconverted try. It was only until the last 10 minutes that Murcia ran in a couple of tries to get themselves a bonus point, and a final score that flat tered them and showed no credit to a hard working Orihuela side. Elsewhere, Torrevieja Tigers match at Lorca was postponed, whilst in the women’s

Baggies Chairman Jeremy Peace did then spend big, signing Stephane Sessegnon and Victor Anichebe for more than £12m.and demanded results, citing that now the club’s wages were the highest in their history: results not good, Clarkie’s history now. After an initial revival, poor old Gus Poyet’s back nailed to the bottom of the Prem, four points below the next sweatees, three of which, Crystal Palace, Fulham and now West Brom have shed their manager in an attempt to improve matters. Big Sam Allardyce at West Ham and Chris Hughton at Norwich must be worried for their jobs. Malky Mackay must have breathed a huge sigh of relief at Cardiff’s monumen tally important 1 0 defeat of West Brom which resulted in giving Stevie the boot from the Baggies – might’ve been Malky if he’d lost, given the unpredictable nature of owner Vincent Tan. Who’d be a manager, eh? Barking.

Sure shot Vaz hits five CD MONTESINOS 5 FORMENTERA 0

It took until midDecember for them to get it, but Monte’s first home league win of the season filled their 270 home supporters with plenty of early Xmas cheer, thanks to a recordbreaking five goal haul from Vaz. Montesinos took early control, with Vaz net ting on the quarter hour after a fine cross from Omar. The same combination struck in the same way just 5 minutes later for Vaz’s second, and though the visitors played some good football, they could not score.

Vaz got his third, 10 minutes into the 2nd half, and then Montesinos made some mul tiple substitutions to give some of the younger players a run out. Vaz was still hungry for more goals and obliged with 2 more to send the supporters home in a party mood, becoming the first ever CD Montesinos player to score five goals at home. Their final match before the holiday break sees them away to Rafal this Sunday.

NIGHT RUNNERS

More than 500 runners from across the Costa Blanca took part in Torrevieja’s first ever Cross Nocturno La Purísima last Saturday evening. The event organised by Torrevieja Athletics Club saw Feham Walid come first in a time of just under 24 minutes.

FINAL MEET OF 2013

league, the San Javier Squalos (Sharks) rolled up an incredible 105 points to 0 victory at Albacete.

Some of Club Natacion Torrevieja’s youngest swimmers were in action in the last event of the year at Elda last Saturday. The Benjamin and Alevin age groups were up against 150 swimmers, with the Torrevieja team all getting best ever times in the

Butterfly swims, led by Victoria Pigneur get ting a regional qualifying time. There were also plenty of PB’s in the 400 metre Freestyle events, with Samira Lucumbi also getting that important regional qualifying time.

Friday, December 20, 2013

SAME TO YOU JACK HAVE A NICE ONE!

FESTIVE CHEERS FROM CHRIST MAS CAROL While thousands flock to watch their teams Fans swathed in Reds and Blues All hope for glory, and a win And pray they never lose. What a festive football fiesta this is turning out to be: noone’s safe out there. As Arsenal wearily watched while their winning ways whittled down to two points in the City Coliseum, the chasing pack bayed and snarled. The Gunners couldn’t claim Neopolitan jetlag on Saturday ‘cos City also travelled to Munich midweek and bested Bayern, although manager Pellegrini must master his maths a schoolboy error may prove costly after the Champions League draw meant City must now play Barcelona. No such stress in t’ league as his Blues broadsided the Gunners 6 – 3, who must now be licking their wounds, taking stock and reloading for Monday evening’s cru cial crunch with Chelsea. Somebody’s Christmas lunch’ll be spoiled, cold turkey and indigestion for the losers. Onefingered Jack Wilshere’s gesticulating gesture could be costly, mebbe banned for two crucial games – what a drag, man, but don’t let Arsene catch you. Yebbut, nobbut Jose could do with a striker coach (*see below) at the Bridge, upfront Chelsea’s choker s’ve only got five goals between ‘em Suarez gets that in one match. Mou’s men struggled to beat Pulis’s Palace pleasers 2 1, as the Eagles endeavour to fly

John McGregor reports

again. Fulham were put Welbeck in their Cottage 3 – 0 by mean Man United, and must pray for salvation at home to United’s nastyneighbours City – hoping the Blues still haven’t hoovered away their away hoodoo. At Old Trafford, United might now just cock the itchy trigger for Sam’s solace – like the Alamo with United’s ammo. The Hammers enemies are all at it, furiously firing their frantic fuhrers down ‘dere in the Dreaded Drop Department. Hovering haphazardly just above the DDD, six sides see sixpointer Saturday specials: Stuttering Stoke meet Vacillating Villa, Suffering Sunderland entertain Nervous Norwich and Tigers/Cityforever (delete where applicable) Hull play Weary West Brom– double or nilpoints who dares wins. Early doors Saturday sees Cardiff’s concerned cru sade continuing at Anfield: just the place to visit where their star striker Luis lurks, that unstoppable (upright!) Uruguayan who’s scored more himself than a fair num ber of Prem sides have in total. Did youse catch that Scouse joke from local yokel comedian John Bishop, where he thanked the FA on TV for banning Suarez so long as to generate his goalgrabbing glut… SupposedlySturridge‘nStevieGeestarved, instead Liverpool look lean and lively in second place, young bees buzzing with intent round kingbee Luis. Quick question: who’s the Prem’s secondlongest serving manager after our Arsene, then? Why aye, man it’s ‘Alain’ Pardew, the Frenchloving southernspeak ing Newcastle boss, who badly wanted to beat one of his old clubs Southampton, but aided by a double Remy miss, Saints were cheered and their neversay

die spirit ensured honours were rightly even great game. The Panto season was in full flow as Widow Twankey referee Mike Jones went down Sissokoed, before a touchline ‘handbagsatdawn’ tiff between, of all roles the ‘goalkeeping coaches’ *of both sides – hey, do clubs have full back coaches, and leftmidfield coaches etc? Magpies go to Pulis Palace Saturday: interesting, as Saints then entertain leaderless Spurs – who’s next for the whitehot seat? Surely not God botherer Glenn? Failed Fabio neither – let Tim try a tilt, Tottenham (N.B.Harry’s doing well, Daniel…). Fresh from hastening poor old Clarkie’s demise by beating the Baggies, Cardiff are also attracting adverse attention with the latest PunchandJudy episode (that’snotthewaytodoit) between unpopularbut cashcow chairman Vincent Tan and messianicbut mouthy manager Malky Mackay. MM said he wants three newbies in the January jamboree: ‘Howdare you?’, sez Prince Vince. Nice for nosey neutrals, tee hee. Talking of Swales, the Swans are swimming satisfacto rily mid table, but hey, watch out, the terrific Toffees taste Swansea hospitality on Super Sunday, Everton easily putting four past Fulham’s flounderers last week. In the Championship, Old ‘Arry’s Quaintly Pursuing Reelection are top by two from Burnley, with Leicester a point behind. These three wise men’re pulling away from Derby, Reading, Leeds, Forest, Brighton, Blackpool and Ipswich. Down in the DDD, it’s Charlton, Sheffield Wednesday, Yeovil and Barnsley within four points of each other. If I don’t see you before – HAPPY NEW YEAR!