Week 138

Edition 138

www.thecourier.es

Friday, October 11, 2013

YOU’RE NICKED Costa crooks under the cosh “Tackling serious and organised crime goes way beyond the shores of the United Kingdom. Some of the biggest threats to the national security of countries around the globe come from individuals and crime groups

who globally cost us billions of pounds every year and ruin lives and communities.

These people must be stopped, and the NCA will lead the UK’s law enforce­ ment role at an international level.”

INSIDE TODAY

By Alex Trelinski Career criminals hid­ ing out in Spain are set to feel the full force of the UK’s answer to America’s FBI. The brand new National Crime Agency (NCA) is to ramp up the links between law enforce­ ment agencies in the UK and Spain to snuff out British crooks

who are trying to hide beneath the radar in Spain.

Expat villains are prom­ ised to have the NCA breathing down their collar as they beef up their co­ operation with the Spanish National Police, Guardia Civil and Customs to tackle threats including economic crime, criminal finances and profits, organised immigra­ tion crime and emerging

threats such as e­crime. Of particular interest to both countries will be cocaine and cannabis entering the UK via Spain from Latin America and North and West Africa.

The new agency will also focus on the activities of British organised criminals based in Spain who have fled from UK justice. It will continue to work closely with Spanish partners under Operation Captura, which has seen 53 of the UK’s

most wanted criminals arrested. The operation will continue to be a threat to British fugitives living in Spain, with the NCA linking up with the Spanish authori­ ties to tackle organised crime groups in­country, share intelligence on joint threats and targets, and intercept people, property and money moving to and from the UK. David Armond, Director of Border Policing Command for the NCA, said:

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Friday, October 11, 2013

Are you a snapper? Do you have a great photo? Send it to design@thecourier.es and if we think it is good enough we will publish it as our Picture of the Week TELEPHONE

96 692 1003 679 096 309 965 99 66 66 E­MAIL office@thecourier.es WEB www.thecourier.es HEAD OFFICE Calle Luis Canovas Martinez 1. Urb Aguas Nuevas, Torrevieja 03183, ALICANTE PHONE: 96 692 1003 Email: office@thecourier.es OPENING HOURS Mon ­ Fri 1030 to 1730 EDITOR Alex Trelinski CONSULTANT EDITOR Donna Gee ADVERTISING SALES 966 921 003 office@thecourier.es TELESALES 966 921 003 679 096 309 Sally Los Alcazares, San Javier 618 391 491 Myra Quesada, Rojales, Torrevieja, San Miguel Tel. 618 583 765 Jean La Zenia, Playa Flamenca, Cabo Roig Tel. 618 898 034 Patrick International Rep 5 Languages Tel 685 901 265 Writers Donna Gee Sally Bengtsson Jeanette Erath Alex Trelinski Dave Silver Tony Mayes John McGregor

Picture of the Week

JUNGLE DRUMS

A PALM TREE IN LOS ALCAZARES PICTURE TAKEN BY JAMES WOODHAM

LUCIFER LAUGHING ALL THE WAY

Lucifer the hyena who lives in Murcia’s Terra Natura park is a record breaker, because at the age of 26, he’s Europe’s oldest in a zoo or park.

Male hyena’s live normally to an average age of between 12 and 14, but Lucifer has surprised everybody in a survey of 90 hyenas across 27 European zoos. Terra Natura has a herd of 5 hyenas, with 2 males and 3 females.

FLYING DUTCHMAN

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A man who grew over 450 marijuana plants on a farm near Aspe has been arrested by the Guardia Civil. The 25 year old Dutchman also had 55 kilos of the drug in bundles when authorities paid him a visit,

who also seized some 3 thousand Euros in cash.

WOMAN GORED A Benidorm woman has died after being gored by a bull during the festivals in Férez in Albacete province.

The 50 year old was one of four people who were struck by the charging bovine while they were inside the enclo­ sure set up for the bull­run­ ning, just after 5.00pm on Sunday afternoon.

She was gored in the stomach, leaving an open wound, as she had just walked out of her family’s home, and was confronted by the rampant animal. The bull lunged at the woman, who was gored several times, and was rushed to hospital in an ambulance fit­ ted with intensive care equipment. She was

pronounced dead on arrival, whilst her daughter, who had been gored in the shoul­ der trying to protect her, was taken in the same ambulance for treatment. Another man was attended to at Férez health centre after he was gored in the armpit, and a fourth vic­ tim suffered minor injuries which did not need urgent treatment.

THE BARE FACTS

It was bras off and boobs out as members of the femi­ nist group FEMEN gave Spanish MPs a surprise in a pro­abortion protest. The group sat down in Parliament’s viewing gallery without anybody realizing they belonged to the activist group.

When Justice Minister Alberto Ruiz Gallardón began addressing Parliament, three of the women took their tops off and shouted “abortion is sacred”, a line they also had

written on their bare bodies.

They were applauded by members of left­wing party Izquierda Unida as they were hustled away by secu­ rity guards.

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pier events like family weddings (particularly Golden and Diamond ones!), Just phone the Courier office on 966 921 003 or email office@thecourier.es We’re waiting for your call…and next week’s Front Page story.

Friday Sunny High 24 Low 18° Chance of rain 0% Monday Sunny High 26 Low 18° Chance of rain 0%

Tuesday Sunny High 26° Low 18° Chance of rain 0%

Saturday Sunny High 26° Low 16° Chance of rain 3% Wednesday Sunny High 28° Low 16° Chance of rain 0%

Sunday Sunny High 27° Low 16° Chance of rain 0% Thursday SUnny High 27° Low 16° Chance of rain 0%

Friday, October 11, 2013

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SPEEDY BOARDING RECOMMENDED 29 passengers patiently waiting for their return flight to the UK from Malaga were left to watch in horror at their depar­ ture gate, as the plane with their luggage on it, took off with­ out them. Easyjet’s evening flight from Malaga to Bristol on Saturday October 5th did manage to carry 110 passengers, but the remaining customers were forced to witness the air­ craft set off down the runway. The astonished passengers, who were left in limbo between the departure gate and the plane, had to bang on locked airport doors for minutes to alert staff to their plight.

Easyjet said the problem happened due to "an issue at the boarding gate" and the airline was still trying to work out how airport and airline staff contrived to lose a quarter of the pas­ sengers without noticing. The passengers' luggage and boarding passes had all been scanned at the gate before the missing 29 went down the walkway. The group had reached a stairwell when a member of the ground crew drew a secu­

rity ribbon across their path to the plane. Assuming it was a temporary wait while passengers who had already boarded were seated, the group queued patiently ­ until they looked outside and realised the plane had gone.

In a statement, the airline said: "We have launched an investigation to understand what happened and have offered flight vouchers and a refund of onward travel arrangements from Gatwick as a gesture of good­ will to the affected passengers. Easyjet arranged for 19 passengers to travel on the next available service to Gatwick that evening and arranged accommodation for 10 passengers who travelled to Bristol the next day."

The luggage was reunited with the passengers after their flights home, Easyjet said, adding that there was no requirement for cabin crew to do a headcount of pas­ sengers on the plane.

FAKE QUACKS SPAIN SLAMMED OVER KIDS

Two cheeky thieves donned white coats and pretended to be doctors as they raided lockers at Alicante General Hospital. They got into the building on Tuesday night through an emergency exit and helped themselves to handbags and purses belong to patients before leaving unchallenged. The hospital said that this was the first time that something like this happened though medical equipment had been stolen in the past.

Austerity measures in Spain are having 'devastating' effects on the mental and physical health of children and the disabled, according to the Council of Europe.

Visits to Sevilla and Madrid revealed widespread malnutri­ tion among children and second­rate education, as well as disabled kids being put in mainstream classes with no extra help, meaning they were effectively learning nothing.

Already, charities such as Cáritas have reported that numer­ ous kids turn up at school without having had breakfast because their parents 'cannot afford to even give them a glass of milk'.

Spain's government has hit out at the report, saying it has invested 'considerably more' in education in the last few years since it had been in power, and that a law passed this year obliges mortgage lenders to postpone repossessions for two years where the homeowner has a child under three years old, has three or more children, or where one member of the family is severely disabled.

SHOPPING BOOST HIGH SPEED SUCCESS

Shoppers had the bonus of many local stores being open for the first time last Wednesday on the Valencia Day region­ al holiday. New all­year shopping rules meant that the regular exodus to the Murcia region was not as prolific, with brisk business being reported at Torrevieja’s Habaneras Centre as well as La Zenia Boulevard.

PUTTING YOUR FOOT DOWN

Spain’s motorway speed limit has been raised to 130 kilo­ metres per hour on certain stretches, and drink­drive fines have been doubled from 500 to 1,000 euros. It’s all part of a new package of traffic laws which sees cycle helmets as mandatory for all under­18s on bikes. Pedestrians – not just drivers – will be breathalysed and tested for drug­consump­ tion where they infringe what the government calls “traffic norms”, even where they are not involved in accidents.

Children's safety seats in cars will be more heavily regulat­ ed and will apply by height rather than age – they will be obligatory for all children of 1.35m (4'6”) or under. Speed­ camera detectors in cars will become illegal and speeds on parts of motorways, where road traffic experts consider it safe to do so, will go up to 130 kilometres per hour although on minor roads and in towns, some speed limits will go down

Local hoteliers say that the arrival of the high speed AVE train service between Madrid and Alicante led to a big summer boost. Hotel owners say that there was a 60% rise in the number of customers from Madrid visiting the Costa Blanca compared to previous years, and a 50% lift in those coming from the La Mancha region. Train operator RENFE say that the number of passengers using the service from when it launched in June has exceeded their earlier predic­ tions.

BULGAR UNFLOCKED

National Police have arrested a Bulgarian man in Torrevieja for flogging non­existent jobs for shepherd in Australia. Dimitar Dimitrov, was held on a European arrest warrant in Torrevieja after the 40 year old was nabbed close to his home in the city. He was wanted by Bulgarian authori­ ties on charges dating back to 2000 in his native country, where he advertised non­existent jobs for shepherds in Australia. Candidates were asked to fill out a form supposed­ ly created by an Australian Government agency acting as an intermediary between the candidates and farmers. They then paid Dimitrov a fee for the bogus agency and vacancies with 221 people being found to have been conned.

HOLE IN THE MOLI

Santa Pola council is to spend some 4 thousand Euros restoring one of the area’s oldest buildings. The Moli de la Calera, which is visible from the N332, has had a hole in the roof for some 5 months and allegedly dates back to 1771, though no time frame for the repair of the historic structure has been given.

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Friday, October 11, 2013

THANKS A MILLION WALK THIS WAY Plans are afoot to improve pavements around the Orihuela Costa, with the council looking to widen the walkway on the under­ pass under the N332 at Playa Flamenca.

Coastal and international residents coun­ cillor Martina Scheurer said that they had asked for money from the Provincial Roads department to extend the pavements so that two people can walk abreast at the same time. Scheurer added that they had also got permission to reinstate two bus stops at the top of La Zenia that had been moved to the La Zenia roundabout when the N332 roadworks and improvements were taking place.

Alicante­Elche airport notched up a million passengers in September, making the 3rd consecutive month that the million mark has been passed. Airport operator AENA said that nearly 10% more travellers used the air­ port last month compared to September 2012. Close to half a million passengers

came from the UK, followed by 85 thousand Spaniards, and 80 thousand Germans.

There were big percentage rises in visitors from Eastern Europe and Scandinavia. So far, Alicante­Elche airport has attracted 8% more passengers in the first nine months of 2013 compared to the same period last year.

MONTESINOS INVESTIGATION Allegations of illegal land sales, developments and building of homes against the Los Montesinos Mayor, Jose Manuel Butron, alongside other council officials are being investigated by the Guardia Civil. Butron plus the council secretary and engi­ neer are already facing charges of irregularities in regard to the town’s Urban Plan.

Dogs and their owners have some good news in Pilar de la Horadada with the official opening of a new dog park in the city. The fenced­in area of over 2500 square metres allows plenty of space for the dogs to run around on their own, but their owners will have to play ball by clearing up the mess of their four­legged friends.

END OF THE ROAD

Easier hatch and despatch

Births and deaths will now be registered in hospital and emailed to the relevant authorities, saving hundreds of thou­ sands of people from queuing in the Civil Registrar's office causing a lot of paper­ work. Doctors and nurses treating new mums will fill out the registration details

PLENTY TO PANT AT

on a computerised form and send it with an official 'digital signature'. They must certify that the child is 'beyond all rea­ sonable doubt' that of the mother, both in the case of stillborn infants and surviving ones. Death certificates will also be processed in the same way.

GENERAL’S FAN HIT BY BOMB

The largest­ever cor­ ruption and money­laun­ dering scandal in Spain's history has finally been tried in full and over 50 people sentenced – over seven years after it was uncovered. Another 50 or so implicated in the Costa­del­Sol­based 'Malaya Case' have been acquitted.

Marbella town council was found in late 2006 to have been running under a 'corrupt régime' for sev­ eral years under Juan Antonio Roca, councillor for planning and also mayor for part of the time, involving property developers paying substantial cash bribes – which were not declared to the tax authori­ ties – in exchange for lucrative construction contracts. As well as in and around Marbella itself, residential complexes affected includ­ ed one in Los Alcázares.

Roca is said to have been the leader of

the property racket and responsible for ensuring the illegally­received cash 'com­ mission' payments found their way into the public coffers and the pockets of civil ser­ vants. At the start of the trial, in 2007, Roca was facing 30 years in jail and a fine of 810 million euros, but the final verdict has award­ ed him 11 years, of which he has already served seven, and a fine of 240 million.

A couple in the vil­ lage of Raiguero Poniente outside Orihuela City were arrested on Monday for drugs posses­ sion, after a masked gang invaded their house and assault­ ed them.

National Police offi­ cers rushed to the scene after calls from neighbours about screaming and gunfire from a house. When the cops arrived, they found the front door open with the slight­ ly injured couple in an adjoining field.

They told the police that several hooded men had attacked them in their home, and threatened to shoot them if they did­ n’t hand over any drugs that they had.

The gang were told where to find the drugs and the couple were held until the

other members went to a field to try to find various marijuana plants. For what­ ever reason, the men couldn’t find them and then ran away threatening the couple not to follow them.

The police have charged the couple with public health and drug possession offences, as they found drug preserva­ tion jars, in addition to shotgun pellets.

Unwelcome guests

A bomb exploded on Monday morning at a Galicia region Town Hall, which hosts a council led by a pro­General Franco mayor.

Senén Pousa was not there when the blast happened in the offices in Beade, in the province of Ourense. Pousa, who’s been mayor since 1974, calls himself a franquista (supporter of the dictator General Franco), and police believed the attack may have been caused by somebody who was against his beliefs.

Nobody was hurt, although the explosion

BAD VINTAGE A 43 year old vineyard worker was suffo­ cated after 5 thousand kilos of grapes fell on

blew the windows out and the town hall has been cordoned off. Sniffer­dogs and the Guardia Civil were brought in and no other bombs were found in the building. The costly repairs will need to be paid by the State­run insurance fund as it counts as an 'extraordi­ nary risk', not covered by a commercial buildings insurance policy. Last week, a small anarchist group said it set off a small device in a cathedral in northeastern Spain because of the place's alleged links with the country’s fascist past top of him. The fruit fell from a loading hop­ per at a Tomelloso vineyard with the man dying as a result of the freak incident last week.

Friday, October 11, 2013

High speed success

Local hoteliers say that the arrival of the high speed AVE train service between Madrid and Alicante led to a big summer boost. Hotel owners say that there was a 60% rise in the number of customers from Madrid visiting the Costa Blanca compared

to previous years, and a 50% lift in those coming from the La Mancha region. Train operator RENFE say that the number of pas­ sengers using the service from when it launched in June has exceeded their earlier predictions.

BIG DOSE FOR ASUNTA Big quantities of the tranquilliser Lorazepam has been found in the system of Santiago de Compostela youngster Asunta Yong Fang Basterra Porto, whose body was found in a wood near Teo. Her mother Rosario, who had been taking similar sleeping pills for anxiety, is in custody, as is Asunta's father, who was separated from her moth­ er but lived next door. The child, who was adopted

by Rosario Porto and Antonio Basterra from her native China when she was just under a year old, was found to have taken or been given up to 17 times the 'normal' dose of the prescription­only drug.

Rosario, said to be 'sobbing' in her cell, said: “Someone's killed my daughter, and as if that's not enough, I'm now being branded a murderer. And they don't just think I'm a killer, they think I'm stupid enough to leave incriminating evidence behind.”

Investigations have so far centred on the inheri­ tance left by Rosario's parents, who both died in their own beds of apparently natural causes last year, seven months apart. No post­mortems were carried out and they were both cremated. They left behind several properties, including a 400­square­metre villa with a tennis court and swimming pool in Teo, where Asunta's body was found by two walkers. Their will was made in 1975, leaving everything to Rosario, and has apparently never been changed since, meaning police have drawn a blank as regards any possible financial motives for the child's killing.

Drumming up business

Elche’s bars and restaurants are looking to boost weekend busi­ ness. The city’s new Trade Forum met for the first time this week and agreed to look at ideas to encour­ age more spending in the service sectors like better advertising as well as staff training, which would include better English speaking skills.

HELLO DARLING

Madrid has declared war on prostitution with fines set to be introduced for a soliciting the serv­ ices of a prostitute on the capital’s streets. Anybody found soliciting sexual services in public could be fined up to 750 Euros, with the fine rising to up to 3 thousand Euros if it is done near schools or shopping centres.

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Friday, October 11, 2013

editor@thecourier.es COURIER POSTBAG: YOUR VIEWS ON OUR NEWS

Banks for the memory... but Britain really is best WHEN my husband and I came to live in Spain seven years ago, we swore we would never go back to England. The thought of spending our retirement in an over­populat­ ed country haunted by bad weath­ er, traffic gridlock and increasing tension over immigration was just

too much.

The prospect of waking up to 300­plus days a year sunshine, a relaxed ‘’manana manana’’ attitude to life and a host of new friends made up for the fact that our three children and six grandkids were all 1,500 miles away.

The consolation was that we could jump on a plane at any time and be back in London in a couple of hours.

However, we had no idea just how far behind the Spanish are when it comes to organisation.

We’ve changed our bank three times because of adminis­ trative errors, exorbitant charges and unacceptable waiting time for service.

If anyone can recom­ mend a bank that gets things right, where you get served quickly by friendly staff and which actually CARES about you, then we’d like to know where it is.

We’ve tried the Halifax in Torrevieja, where it was impossible to park. We tried Bank Inter and we tried, God help us, the doomed Cam Bank, whose successor, Bank Sabadell, seems just as slow serv­ ice­wise.

In fact, I dread going to my local branch because I know I’ll have to wait for ages and that some cheeky Spaniard will inevitably jump the queue and send my blood pressure soar­ ing.

We’ve also had our elec­ tricity cut off for five days in a mix­up between the bank and the electric com­ pany – and we are now at the end of our tether.

We are seriously consid­ ering going back to England, not because we want to, but because the Spanish are slowly killing us with their incompe­ tence.

The problem is that if we sell our villa, we are going to lose a fortune…and from what I have heard, we’ll have a major problem get­ ting the money.

Shall we stay or shall we go? Anyone got any sug­ gestions?

FRUSTRATED FIONA Torrevieja (name and address supplied)

PINK LADIES ARE TOP OF THE POPS AGAIN LAST year Maria and the Pink Ladies celebrated International Breast Cancer Day by selling heli­ um­filled pink balloons to the public and then releasing them all together.

There were approximately 800 balloons released and as you know, ALL of the proceeds go to the AECC for research and their early detection programme.

This year Maria and the Pink Ladies have been invited by the management of Zenia Boulevard at La Zenia to hold the event there, where hopefully more than 2,000 balloons could be sold and released.

The event will be held on Saturday week, October 19, although Maria and the Pink Ladies will also be in atten­ dance at the Boulevard on Friday the 18th selling tickets that are attached to a helium­filled balloon. There is a gift of 100 euros to the purchaser of the balloon that travels the furthest and is returned by the finder who will receive 20 euros for sending the balloon back.

There will also be a space on the ticket for people to write a personal message to a loved one they may have lost to cancer. On the Saturday, there will be a full day’s entertain­ ment provided by some of the best live entertainers on the Costa Blanca. These include male vocalists Paul Micheal, Dan Davy and Kyle Jaymes, Suzy G and her dancers, six­ piece soul band Soul Power, soul singer Richie Alexander, female vocalists Rhionne and Ashley Tweddle, Nikki G and duet Incognito, Abba Elite, Rob Bonovox, The Jazz Singer, Raquel Pena's Flamenco for all, The Matrix Rock Choir, The Kingsbury dance academy and much more.

The entertainment gets under way from midday and finish­ es at about 8pm, the balloons will be released to Nessum Dorma sung by the classically trained Paul Micheal.

The release of the balloons will be spectacular and the whole event a day to remember. But most importantly, all of the money raised will once again be donated by Maria and the Pink Ladies to the AECC. MARIA WILSON, President, AECC Torrevieja and The Pink Ladies

THE COURIER DOES NOT NECESSARILY AGREE WITH THE VIEWS EXPRESSED IN THE LETTERS ON THIS PAGE

DON’T FORGET, WE NEED YOUR DETAILS Letters and emails will only be considered for publication if an address and contact number are provided to confirm authenticity

Friday, October 11, 2013

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BINS AND NEEDLE ASK me what I think of Britain’s refuse collection system, and I’ll give you a one­word answer.

Rubbish!

It’s becoming a major challenge to side­ step the army of wheelie bins as local author­ ities hot up their war on waste.

Problem is, they’ve got it all wrong. In fact, it’s time the recycling mob got on their bikes and took a ride to Spain.

Because the new Jerusalem will never be built in what is fast becoming England’s green unpleasant land.

The obsession of local authorities with recycling, however good their intentions, is turning the country into a gridlock of garbage bins.

My family home in Manchester is cluttered with a brown bin for garden refuse, a blue one for bottles and cans, a green bin for gar­ den refuse and a grey one for the rest. The same applies to the other 50 houses in our street – a total of 200 or so eyesores in what is otherwise a leafy, picturesque cul de sac.

Heaven knows how many of these hideous containers there are in Britain. At least 100 million, I reckon ­ every one of them dispensable if only the powers that be would open their eyes and look at the way

Once-a-month collection idea is just plain rubbish we do it in Spain.

I’ve aired my opinions on this subject before, but after reading that Cardiff is planning to reduce its col­ lection of non­recyclable rubbish to a MONTHLY service, I despair of sani­ ty ever prevailing.

I grew up in the Welsh capital and love the place. I also understand the logic of the once­ every­four­weeks idea – they want people to squeeze every last morsel of eligible gunge into the rainbow of recycling bins.

Well, it won’t work because half the nation just can’t be bothered – or simply refuse to be regimented.

In family homes, separating every item to be disposed into a myriad of different bags is

a major operation even before one gets near the outdoor bin. The frustration can eas­ ily boil over…and end with paper and packag­ ing being slung just anywhere and any amount of it blowing around the streets.

The chaos deepens when it comes to the

council emptying the bins. Bleeping wagons reverse up side streets and block traffic, emptied bins clog up the pavement, job­ sworth binmen refuse to touch any bin whose contents prevent the lid from shut­ ting…even by a centimetre.

In short, the entire process of disposing of household waste in the UK is a disaster.

Which makes it even more staggering that nobody seems to have even considered switching to the system that operates on our urbanisations in the Costas.

In Guardamar, where I live, large commu­ nal bins are dotted every couple of hundred metres and emptied every evening, when traffic is at its quietest. Separate recycling units stand within easy walking distance, invariably within five minutes of any resi­ dent’s home.

The system could not be less intrusive...or more convenient. And it’s carried out by a tiny fraction of the workforce that inflates council tax to such exorbitant levels in Britain.

If anyone with any influence in local gov­ ernment happens to read this, I’d love to hear the other side of the argument.

And please don’t tell me I’m talking garbage…

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Friday, October 11, 2013

Friday, October 11, 2013

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Friday, October 11, 2013

WHEN THE MUSIC STOPS…

Daft Barry came dashing into the pub the other evening and announced in a voice shrill with excite­ ment: 'I've got a new game we can all play!'

We fellow members of the hostelry's discussion group ignored him but not, I hasten to add, because we were being rude. No, we just couldn't hear Daft Barry's piercing announcement because it had been pitched too high for other humans to hear. However, three dogs raced into the pub to find out what was going on.

After we chased the mutts out of the place, we sat Daft Barry down, supplied him with a packet of tabasco­ flavoured pork scratchings (the guy's taste in food was atrocious) and when he had sufficiently calmed down, asked him what had gotten him into a state of such rap­ ture.

'I've got a new game for all of us to play,' repeated Daft Barry. 'I'm fed up chucking darts on my own and losing every time. And solitaire card games aren't satisfying

because I'm not playing with a full deck.'

'Hey, come on, Barry,' we chorused. 'Not everyone is blessed with super intelli­ gence. Don't be so hard on yourself.'

Daft Barry looked puzzled.

'No, I meant the pub's pack of cards contains only clubs, spades and diamonds.

Somebody must have stolen all the hearts.'

Dave the barman assumed a sheepish expression. 'Er, that would be me. I Blu­ Tacked the hearts cards all over my s h i r t

when I went to a fancy dress contest as St Valentine.'

'But that was the only deck of cards in the pub,' I com­ plained. 'Surely you could have bought a new pack.'

'Not with the money you lot spend in here,' grumbled mein host.

We members of the pub discussion group deliberated on whether to get in a round of drinks but decided against

it on the grounds that it would serve only to cheer up Dave the barman ­­ and none of us wanted to give him the satis­ faction.

'So what is this game that we can all join in and play?' I asked Daft Barry.

'It's called musical chairs,' he replied, his excitement ris­ ing again. 'We all walk around our chairs to music and when the tune stops we all sit down on the chairs.

And then we all stand up and do it again. I don't know how you actually win the game but it does seem good fun.'

There was a

silence as we pondered that Daft Barry might have missed the main point of the procedure. Indoor Lou, being the smartest member of our group, explained the rules to him.

'Let's say you have 10 people taking part. Well, you first set out nine chairs and the person who is still stand­ ing when the music ceases has to remove himself from the game. Then you take one of the nine chairs away which leaves nine people walking around eight chairs . . . and so on.'

'Wow!' exclaimed Daft Barry. 'That's even more fan­ tastic than I thought. Let's play!'

'Sorry to disappoint you,' Dave the barman butted in.

'But I'm not licensed for music on the premises and anyway, if I let you use my chairs, where are my gen­ uine customers going to sit?'

Daft Barry's face crumpled in disappointment.

'Thanks a bunch, Dave,' I remonstrated with the bar­ man. 'You certainly know how to let down a fellow gen­

tly. You could have been a bit more diplomatic. Daft Barry is a sensitive soul and now you've really gone and upset him.'

I put my arm around Daft Barry. 'Don't let Dave the bar­ man burst your bubble. He's not worth it.' Daft Barry's face lit up. 'Does that mean we can play musical chairs after all?'

'No, Barry,' I said. 'None of us is remotely interested in that infantile rubbish.

However, if you get the cards out we can all have a game of knockout whist. But remember that hearts can't be trumps.'

We all trooped over to the games section of the pub (a snooker table with the baize cloth missing), leaving behind only Ol' Red Eyes, who was taking a nap draped across three bar stools, and Indoor Lou who, with eyes tight shut in concentration, was still talking: 'And finally, when there are two people remaining and only one chair left . . .' He opened his eyes. 'Where's everybody gone?'

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Friday, October 11, 2013

SAY IT IN SPANISH Learn the lingo - with a little help from JEANETTE ERATH Spanish 92 Welcome back to another week learning Spanish. I have begun to have my classes again and my school is growing, it´s a busy job trying to start a business in this climate but I believe languages will always be popular, and there is no substitute for a good teacher who can help with pronouncia­ tion and grammar. My Spanish lessons tend to stick to basic and conversational, as that is what the majority of people in my town require, and my English language students range from very basic to high intermediate. I enjoy teaching, plan­ ning lessons and helping someone achieve their goals of conversing in another tongue. So, all of you who have stayed with me over the past 92 weeks, well done! It´s not easy but you should, by now be seeing some real improvements in your Spanish, and hopefully are beginning to feel your confi­ dence reach a level where you are able to speak. Of course you are all at a different level and some of you may be read­ ing this to refresh your memory and for others they will feel quite comfortable at this stage to learn new grammar.

Whatever stage you are at, it is important not to move on too quickly but also not to get lazy and keep repeating the same lessons over and over. There has to be an element of push­ ing yourself to improve. You will, most likely, be learning new things all the time in Spanish and nothing feels as good as being able to converse correctly with someone, feeling com­ fortable and relaxed and without having to think too much.

We can all reach that stage, for some it takes longer but if I can do it, so can you.

So, how did you get on with your reading last week? The paragraph I gave you was this: No pude dormir anoche porque vi una película rara. Entonces leí una revista en mi cama hasta tarde y después miré el internet. Pero nada que hice me ayudó, fui a la cocina para hacer un

bocadillo porque tuve hambre. El día siguiente hablé con mi mejor amiga y ella dijo que tampoco pude dormir porque vio la misma película. Estamos en acuerdo que nunca más vamos a ver una película rara tan tarde por la noche.

Here is the English translation, how did you get on? – I couldn´t sleep last night because I saw a strange film. Then I read a magazine in my bed until late and after I looked at the internet. But nothing I did helped me, I went to the kitchen to make a sandwich because I was hungry . The next day I spoke to my best friend and she said that she couldn´t sleep either because she saw the same film. We both agree that we are never going to see another strange film that late at night again.

As you read the words were you struggling to translate the words in your head or were you picturing the various scenes?

You could have imagined yourself doing the actions men­ tioned. I hope you took your time and next time you have something to read in Spanish you visualise the actions rather than concentrate on translating. You know all the words in the above paragraph, I appreciate conjugatng them takes time, however from now on it is about relaxing with the Spanish not struggling with it.

So, this week is another revision week, I am going to be giv­ ing you translations using various tenses that we have cov­ ered, the majority will be in the preterite as I mentioned last week it was going to be a preterite revision however I feel it´s always good to include others, I don´t want you forgetting anything, repetition, repetition, repetition, that´s our mantra!

Translate the following into Spanish: I practised Spanish for one hour, what are you going to do tomorrow?, Did you see the car that my father gave me?, I haven´t seen the new shop but I believe it´s very modern,

Don´t pay the bill!, I will be able to do it tomorrow, I began to learn Spanish, we didn´t do anything yesterday, I asked three times for the folder, I know Philip, he lived in our road for three years, you lied to me, I walked to school last Tuesday.

Now I´m going to give you a paragraph to translate from English to Spanish: Last week I went to a shopping centre near to where I live.

There are lots of different shops and I like to go in them all.

In one clothes shop I bought a shirt and two skirts, and in another I wanted a coat but it was too expensive, I think I´ll wait until the sales! I ate lunch at a café in the shopping cen­ tre, it was delicious. I hope I can go again next week as I for­ got to buy some shoes and I need a new pair.

Now I´m going to give you a short passage in Spanish to read, don´t think too hard, it is a very simple paragraph but there will be words you don´t know, before you look them up have a guess, try and keep your reading flowing: El español es una lengua internacional. Sus más de 300 millones de hablantes están distribuidos en distintas partes del mundo: en Europa, Africa, Asia y Latinoamérica. El mayor país de habla española en el mundo es México, con 88 millones de hispanohablantes, y el segundo es España, con 38 millones. Aparte de México, otros dieciocho países de América Latina tienen como lengua oficial el español. En algunos hay una segunda lengua oficial. En los Estados Unidos, hay 22 millones de hispanohablantes, la mayoría de ellos de origen mexicano, puertorriqueño y cubano. El español es la segunda lengua en los Estados Unidos y su impor­ tancia crece cada día.

Read out loud, practise your pronounciation, enjoy your Spanish.

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Friday, October 11, 2013

DR PEDRO TO THE RESCUE

My Mum has suffered from depression for well over fifty years and after being on a tablet called Ativan for many decades, the doctors decided twenty years ago that she had to stop using them and they needed to find a replacement. Finding that substitute tablet took over ten years and in that time my Mum suffered terribly. These days she is fairly stable but still has some very bad days and some are filled with panic attacks where she thinks she is about to die. About two years ago, such an attack happened. I was at home when I received a phone call from a staff member at my Mum’s sheltered accommodation. She explained to me that Mum was having a very bad panic attack and there was a doctor present, a nurse and also my Mum's sister, but despite all of their best efforts, she was getting worse.

I knew straight away how I could break Mum out of this prolonged attack that she was experiencing. I jumped in the car with Pedro Rodriguez, my little Spanish rescue dog and off we drove to see her. On arriving at her front door, watching Pedro was like a scene out of a movie. When the door opened he sped past the doctor and the nurse, as if to say, "Please make way, I am a doctor, Dr Pedro Rodriguez, from Spain!" What hap­ pened next left the professionals and my Auntie in a state of confusion. Pedro walked up to Mum and simply put his two tiny front legs on her knees, as if to see, "It's ok, I'm

here now, panic over".

Instantly, Mum snapped out of the attack she was having and she totally connected with the little dog who had arrived to help. She was calm and there was not a sign of the attack she was having. The doctor looked at the nurse in total disbelief, but for Pedro this was all in a day’s work for him. Dogs have a sixth sense that goes way beyond our capa­ bilities and they can assist us in a way that our fellow humans can't.

Dr Pedro Rodriguez

Pedro was found in a cardboard box, along with his litter mates, in Spain several years ago. He was only four weeks old when he was found. When I met him he was so tiny and about six weeks old. Instantly, he knew and I knew that he was going to be my dog. It was an amaz­ ing connection from day one.

Right now as I write this, he is snuggled up next to me fast asleep, waiting for the next emergency that he’s to be called out to.

On the way out of my Mum's house that evening, the doctor looked at me and asked, "How on earth did you just do that?" I reminded him that I had done nothing.

The star of the show was looking up at him with fluffy ears, two big brown eyes and a wet nose ­ Dr Pedro Rodriguez.

I am available for consultations throughout the Costa Blanca region, if you are having problems with your furry best friend. To book a consultation you can email me at peter@the­ dogyouneed.com and I will contact you straight away. We can also look after your dogs while you are away. Please contact us for details. We have also set up an animal charity, where we help the most severely abused and injured animals in Spain. If you would be kind enough to donate anything to this special cause you can do by PayPal, where the account details are peter@thedogyouneed.com or to our Nat West charity account, where the sort code is 60­16­03 and the account number is 73754900. Even one Euro will help, so please, please, try and support us. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

PETS’ CORNER: CAN YOU TAKE IN A HOMELESS DOG OR CAT? Raflie was found hiding in some bushes in San Luis, he is very thin and his coat mat­ ted, he has now been clea­ ned up and is looking for a home, he is around 1 year old and weighs approx 5 kilos Call: 645 469 253 www.petsinspain.com

Kushti.This lovely dog was left to fend for himself on a main road. Rescued by a kind gentleman who saved him from an accident. He is about nine months old, very good looking and playful He is very loving and is loo­ king for an owner who will take care of him forever.

Contact 616655789 for more details

Lola is a nearly three year old cross Labrador/Alsatian mix we think. She is super friendly and loving to her current owners and loves playing with children. The only problem is that Lola does not much like other dogs. She needs to be in a one dog home as she thri­ ves on attention. Please call 650 304 746 or Email: p.e.p.a.animalcharity@gmail .com

CRISTINA & LETITIA are part of a litter of six puppies who came into our care with their mother. They are 9 week old Retriever/Collie type crossbreeds who are happy, healthy and currently receiving their appropriate vaccinations. For more info please call 966 710 047, email info@satanimalres­ cue.com

Rex is about 2 yrs old his owners got him as they wan­ ted a guard dog, unfortuna­ tely for them he is a sweet gentle dog that loves ever­ yone and likes other dogs as well, so now he is looking for a new home, he just needs someone to love him.

For more info call 650 304 746 or Email: p.e.p.a.animal­ charity@gmail.com

Jodie is two and a half years old. She is a medium sized dog who was left in the rear garden of an abandoned house. Without neighbour intervention she would have starved to death. She is a friendly girl and would make a lovely family dog. To arran­ ge to meet Jodie please con­ tact Yvonne on 630 422 563.

Lola

Letitia

Rex

Jodie

Raflie CHICO is a Black and White Belgium Shepherd, 2 years old.Chipped with a Passport He is a friendly dog.

Chico D.O.B 05/08/2011 Please contact K9 or PHONE 600 84 54 20 for more info www.k9club.es

Chico Jasmine is a beautiful 4 month old torti coloured kit­ ten, very relaxed around all people and other cats. She purrs away in ecstasy when she is near you. Call: 645 469 253 www.petsinspain.com

Kushti

Friday, October 11, 2013

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Friday, October 11, 2013

SCHOOL SHOCKER FOR MY BOY

How safe are our children? When they are with us we can keep an eye on them, but when we can´t be with them, we entrust them to others which leads me to ask how much can we trust other people to care for our most precious ´possessions´?

This week something happened to my son in the one place, after his own home, that he should be safe in, and that is school. As the school term approached the second month, we as parents got the usual forms asking if our children want­ ed to take part in some after school activities. I asked my boy what he´d like to do and he chose theatre club, which was two days a week. I put his details down and dropped off the form waiting to hear if he could be accepted on the course.

The week before he was due to start, I got a call from the per­ son in charging saying that there weren´t enough children wanting to do that course but would he like to join the younger children in after school club? This consisted of Monday’s to Thursday’s 5.00pm to 6.00pm, so it would be straight after lessons in the afternoon, and there would be dif­ ferent activities each day. Sounding like a good idea I said, yes.

The first day was a Tuesday as it was the start of the month, and I´d been told to go to the school which I did, to find my son coming out of class and no­one seemingly know­ ing where he should be. I finally found the person responsible for the club and she told me his name wasn´t down but he could go now if he wanted. As I´d been there with him for ten minutes, he decided he didn´t want to stay and so I said, I´d take him home and he could start the next day, Wednesday.

The monitor said that was fine and so home we went. Not having complete trust in the school, I went there on Wednesday at 5pm to check he didn´t come out and sure

enough he never. At 6pm I returned to the school to collect him, tired but happy.

On the Thursday at 4.15pm, I had arranged to meet a friend for a coffee and chat, knowing I wouldn´t have to be back at school until 6.00pm. However, at 5.40pm I got a phone call from a parent of a boy in Jack´s year, saying that she had found my little man alone outside the school, crying, and that she had taken him to a friend´s shop where she had got my number and called me. I was astounded! I went straight to the shop and collected my precious little fella, and we went straight round to the school to speak to the monitor and to find out why my son hadn´t been collected and taken to club. The monitor said that he hadn´t been on the list so she didn´t know he was due to be there, and that she only works on Thursdays and that next Thursday she would be sure to collect him, but what about Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday? There was nothing more that I could do at that time, so we returned home with lots of cuddles.

The next day I went and spoke to my son’s teacher and explained the situation, asking her to make sure that he never gets left with nowhere to go again. But, she stated it was not her responsibility what happens to the children after 5.00pm! As a teacher myself, I found this attitude exasperat­ ing. My son is not a teenager and he´s not even in double fig­ ures. He is six years old and so not capable of fending for himself, or finding his own way home. Eventually after turning

my back on the teacher to walk away, she said she would make sure that on the Monday and Tuesday he was in the club, but she made clear that this was a favour and for the following week only.

I am astounded that a child friendly country like Spain can make such a huge mistake. I was adamant that this wouldn´t happen in the UK until I read the very same week an article about a grandfather picking up the wrong child from school and taking her to the doctors! Apparently the granddad had bad eyesight and didn´t realize the girl by his side was not related to him and the school got the wrong child and let her go. The girl must have been bewildered but trusting the school just went, as young children do, the same way my son went with his ex­classmates mum. This mistake wasn´t even picked up by the doctor who gave a healthy girl a prescription for Calpol! Remember that the sick girl, the real granddaugh­ ter, was at school, and it was only when she went home and showed her parents the prescription, that the error came to light. In the article the grandfather’s family had no say, but imagine what could have happened? It doesn´t bear thinking about, neither for this little girl nor for my little man, all alone at the school gates. So, it appears, that although we have to send our offspring to school they are not 100% safe and the people or places we are letting look after our future genera­ tions may not exactly be up to the job, whatever country they are in!

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Friday, October 11, 2013

ED’S GIFT FROM THE MAIL It stands to reason that I’m all for a free and largely unfettered press, particu­ larly when it comes to keeping politicians in check. In recent years, the best stuff came from the Daily Telegraph as they uncovered the whole scan­ dal involving MPs and the

way they screwed every­ body over expenses.

In contrast, the Daily Mail stuff over Ed Miliband’s father is a blatantly crass attempt to smear the Labour leader because his dad was a Marxist. Much as I dislike the Mail as a paper, I defend their right to print anything

even though I might disagree or even hate it, so long as it is correct. Jan Moir’s bad taste anti­gay article over the death of the Boyzone mem­ ber Stephen Gately four years was a shocker, but I would support the key princi­ ple of being allowed to express that view, even

though most reasoned peo­ ple would find it repulsive.

Whatever newspapers owners might feel, readers on the whole are not stupid and can smell a rat a mile away, and so it was in the case of the Mail’s story about Miliband’s dad. Timed to appear during the Tory con­ ference week to give Cameron a boost, the whole thing has back­fired in a spectacular way, with a You Gov poll this week saying that 72% of the British public felt hat the description of Ralph Miliband as the “man who hated Britain” was unac­ ceptable, whilst even 57% of Mail readers felt that the paper should make an apol­ ogy. I bumped into a Labour friend of mine in the UK over the weekend, and he told me (before the poll was pub­ lished) that he thought that this was massive boost for Ed Miliband and that the Mail had scored a big own goal. I agree but they should have the freedom to go and net it, because I’m sure they’ll run

stories in the future which are far more intelligent and in the public interest, rather than a cheap bit of tat which has put them on the back foot.

I totally believe Ed Miliband when he says that the story is a lie, and so with that in mind, I presume he’ll be suing the Mail: ­ a paper that loves to peddle a bitter mix of “Little Englander” atti­ tudes led by xenophobia, homophobia, along with right wing tendencies that would make Genghis Khan a pinko

Liberal! And by the way, which paper in the thirties thought that a bloke called Adolf Hitler was a decent fel­ low, even when the tanks were being fuelled up ready to cross the border into Poland? If there wasn’t a sheet of toilet paper left in the whole universe, I still wouldn’t make a grab for the Mail, but they do strike a chord with many of their readers, and that’s why much as I hate it, it would be a major blow of press free­ dom if it was muzzled.

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Friday, October 11, 2013

APPETISING APPLES APPLE AND ALMOND SPONGE Ingredients

25g flaked almonds 1tbsp golden caster sugar 1/2tsp ground cinnamon 120g peeled, chopped dessert apple For the sponge: 180g soft butter 100g golden caster sugar 3 medium eggs 1tsp vanilla extract 1/2tsp almond extract 100g ground almonds 100g self­raising flour 2tbsp milk Icing sugar

Method

1. Preheat the oven to 160°C/325°F/Fan 140°C/Gas Mark 3.

Grease and base line a 22cm cake tin.

2. Put all the topping ingredients into a bowl and mix gently together.

3. Put the butter and sugar into a bowl and beat until light and fluffy. Add the eggs, one at a time, beating well between each addition. Add a little of the flour if the mixture begins to sep­ arate. Stir in the vanilla and almond extract, Add the ground almonds, flour and milk and mix to a soft consistency.

Spread the mixture in the prepared tin. Sprinkle over the top­ ping and bake in the oven for 45–50 mins until risen and golden brown. Sprinkle with icing sugar and serve.

APPLE DOUGHNUTS WITH APPLE PUREE Ingredients For the doughnuts: 280g strong white flour plus extra for dusting ¼ tsp salt ¼ cup yoghurt 7g sachet fast action dried yeast 20g caster sugar

20g soft butter 1 small egg 125ml lukewarm water Sunflower oil for deep frying For the filling: 3 apples quartered and cored 2tbsp caster sugar 75ml apple juice To serve: Golden caster sugar for dust­ ing Double cream whipped with a little icing sugar to serve You'll also need: 2 baking trays dusted with flour 5.75cm round cutter

Method

1. Mix the flour, salt, yeast and sugar in a processor, add the soft butter, egg, yoghurt and water and pulse until smooth.

Tip onto a lightly floured surface and knead until smooth, if necessary add a little more flour, bring into a ball.

2. Clean out the bowl and lightly oil it, put the dough in the bowl and cover with cling film and put in the fridge overnight (the dough can be kept up to 48 hours in the fridge) 3. To make the apple purée and the filling cut the apple quar­ ters into 5mm slices across and place straight into the pan, add the sugar and apple juice. Cover and cook on a moder­ ate heat for about 7 minutes until just softening.

4. Drain over a bowl, keeping the juice and roughly chop the apple and cool. Put 100g to one side and reserve for the fill­ ing, and put the rest in a processor with the juice and blitz to a textured puree to create the apple purée.

5. Cut the dough into 4 and work with a piece at a time, keep­ ing the remainder covered as you go. Roll out on a lightly floured surface to about 5mm thickness or even thinner and stamp out 7 circles from each piece.

6. Put a quarter teaspoon of cooked apple in the centre of each circle dab a little water around the edges and pinch the edges together to seal well.

7. Put on the floured trays and cover with dry cloths and leave about 30 minutes ­ 1 hour until almost double the size.

8. Heat the oil to 175°C/350ºF and fry the doughnuts in small

batches for about 3­5 minutes until golden, turning them as they cook. Toss in sugar while hot. Serve with the sweetened cream for dipping.

MUSTARD PORK FILLET WITH APPLE LENTILS & HERB AIOLI Ingredients 1kg pork loin fillet 3 tbsp olive oil 2 tbsp Dijon mustard small bunch tarragon, chopped 350g Puy lentils 1l vegetable stock zest and juice 1 lemon 1 apple, cored and diced 200g jar good­quality mayonnaise 1 garlic clove, crushed green beans, to serve

Method

1. Heat oven to 200C/180C fan/gas 6. Rub the pork with a tbsp of oil, add some seasoning, then seal the outside of the meat all over in a hot frying pan. Transfer the pork to a baking sheet, brush the outside with the mustard, then press on half of the tarragon and cook for 20 mins. Remove from the oven and cover with foil for 5 mins.

2. Meanwhile, cook the lentils in the stock until just tender, about 12 mins, drain, then toss with the remaining olive oil, half the lemon juice and the apple.

3. To make the aioli, mix the mayo, garlic, lemon zest and remaining juice and tarragon with some seasoning, then set aside. Slice the pork into thick slices and serve on a platter with the lentils, a bowl of aioli to dip into and some green beans.

PORK AND APPLE BURGERS Ingredients 8 good­quality pork sausages

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Friday, October 11, 2013

1 eating apple, peeled, cored and grated 1 tbsp chopped sage leaves 2 tbsp red wine vinegar 1½ tbsp caster sugar 1 small red onion, finely sliced 200g red cabbage, finely sliced 2 tsp wholegrain mustard 4 bread rolls, split in half

Method

1. Heat oven to 200C/fan 180C/gas 6. Snip the tops off the sausages and squeeze the meat out into a bowl. Stir through the grated apple and sage, then shape into 4 patties. Place the burgers on a baking sheet and cook for 25­30 mins or until golden and cooked through.

2. Meanwhile, mix the vinegar and sugar together with some seasoning. Stir to dissolve the sugar before stirring in the onion, cabbage and mustard. Leave to stand and soften while the burgers finish cooking. Place a burger in each roll and top with some pickled cabbage, serving any extra on the side.

SAUSAGE, APPLE AND LEEK PIE Ingredients 8 pork sausages 3 leeks, sliced 1 apple, peeled and sliced 1 tbsp plain flour 1 tbsp grainy mustard 200ml stock 375g pack ready­rolled shortcrust pastry 1 egg, beaten

Method

1. Heat oven to 200C/180C fan/gas 6. Fry the sausages in a large frying pan until

browned all over, remove and set aside. Remove most of the fat left in the pan, then add leeks and soften for 8­10 mins.

Add the peeled apple slices and cook for 1 min more. Stir in the flour, followed by the mustard. Pour over the stock and bubble for 2 mins to make a sauce.

2. Chop the sausages into chunks and stir into the pan. Then, tip everything into a large ovenproof dish. Top with the pastry, trimming off any excess and glaze with the egg. Bake for 25 mins until golden.

APPLE MERINGUE Ingredients 4 apples, peeled, cored, cut into segments and blanched for 2 minutes 50g/1¾oz sugar 16 Savoiardi biscuits or sponge fingers 100ml/3½fl oz apple juice for the cream 4 egg yolks 150g/5½oz sugar 40g/1½oz plain flour 500ml/18fl oz hotmilk grated zest of 1 lemon for the meringue 100g/3½oz egg white 100g/3½oz sugar pinch of salt

Method

1. First make the cream by beating the egg yolks and sugar.

Stir in the flour. Gradually add the hot milk,whisking all the time to avoid lumps forming. Place over a low heat and allow to bubble gently for about 10 minutes, stirring all the time.

Remove from the heat, add the lemon zest and set aside.

2. Place the apple segments in a pan with the sugar, put over a medium heat and gently cook until the apples caramelize.

Remove from the heat and set aside.

Meanwhile, make the meringue by whisking the egg whites, sugar and pinch of salt. When they are stiff, put to one side.

3. Place the biscuits along the bottom of an ovenproof dish and drizzle a little apple juice over the top. Pour on the cream and top with the apple segments. Place the meringue in a piping bag with a decorative nozzle and pipe swirls next to each apple slice, or cover entirely with the meringue.

4. Finally, place under a hot grill for a few minutes until the meringue is golden. Remove and serve hot or cold.

CURRIED PARNSIP AND APPLE SOUP Ingredients 500g parsnips, peeled and roughly diced 1 bramley apple, weighing peeled, cored and roughly diced 60g butter 1tsp ground cumin 1tsp fenugreek seeds 2 tsp chopped root ginger 1tsp curry powder 60ml cider 1.2 litres vegetable stock 90ml double cream Salt and freshly ground black pepper 2tsp toasted cumin seeds to garnish

Method

1. Gently cook the parsnip and apple in the butter together with thespices, in a covered pan for about 5 minutes, giving them the occasional stirand not allowing them to colour.

2. Remove the lid, add the cider and vegetable stock and bring to theboil.

3. Season with salt and pepper and simmer gently for about 15 minutesuntil the parsnip is soft.

4. Blend in a liquidiser until smooth and strain through a fine­ meshedsieve.

5. Bring back to the boil, add the double cream and adjust with alittle water or stock if it's too thick.

6. Serve in hot soup bowls and sprinkle with a pinch of cumin seeds.

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Friday, October 11, 2013

RICHARD CAVENDER

Bluemoon Solutions www.bluemoonsolutions.es

BlueMoon Solutions is the computer and IT services com­ pany on the Costa Blanca, they provide quality computer services at realistic prices and specialise in working with home users and small businesses.

Richard moved to Spain seven years ago hav­ ing left his management background behind in the UK and decided to use his IT skills to help home users and small businesses with their PC problems. Now a relaxed 'computer man' he is out and about in the Spanish sun every day, making house and shop calls and using his vast experience and qualifications to (usually) sort out the problem there and then. Computers are his hobby as well as his work so don’t be surprised to get an answer to your email in the early hours!

Derry was wondering what she should do about iGoogle TIP: Gerald was asking about MalwareBytes that we closing down at the end of this month. reviewed a few weeks ago for occasional malware protection.

Hi Richard, I have just had a message on my screen about google closing in 31 days and to be sure to back up everything. I am not sure exactly what I have to do to back it up so can you explain what I need to do please. I am using Google Chrome but I have to click on a link to get to my home page which is where I have most of my info i.e. tabs for news and weather and some games etc. Thanks Derry

Q

Hi Derry, its iGoogle that is closing in November, not the whole of Google just the customisable front page that some of us use.

We have no option but to find an alternative home page, Google have decided that iGoogle’s time has run and that’s that – this what happens when we get used to serv­ ices that are provided for free, sometimes they change or close down all together.

If you want to find a similar service then this website has a list of 6 alternatives that you might like. http://www.techsupportalert.com/content/6­great­alternatives­igoogle.htm

A

ADVICE: Brian wanted to know how to enable cookies in Google Chrome

Q A

Hi Richard. I need to turn on my cookies for google chrome so that I can access my tesco bank acc. I have tried but cannot find out how to do it. Could you help please?

Why is life so difficult? Many thanks Brian

Hi Brian, in order to be able to manage your Google Chrome cookies you will need to do the following...

1. Launch Google Chrome 2. Click the wrench icon (top right of the screen) 3. Select Settings 4. Click Show advanced settings 5. Click Content settings in the "Privacy" section It's this section that shows your cookie settings, in order to turn them on (which they should be by default anyway), you will need to tick "Allow local data to be set", this will enable both first­party and third­party cookies.

As for the question about “life” I have no idea, I often wonder the same ;­)

office@bluemoonsolutions.es www.bluemoonsolutions.es Mobile: 655 044 970

Office: 902 906 200

Don’t forget you can follow me on twitter @bluemoonspain Alternatively why don’t you sign up for my newsletter. You can do this by going to:­ www.bluemoonsolutions.es and fill in the form that is on any page except the front page.

Q

Hello, when on holiday I read the Courier dated 27 Sept and the article on Malware.

On returning to the UK I tried the “free” download which turned out like so many oth­ ers to be a request for cash. It will only remove the things it finds after you pay. Just thought I would let you know. Kind regards, Gerald

Hi Gerald, I’m not sure where you were look­ ing, or what you downloaded, but the link I advertised was www.malwarebytes.org and this offers a free version of the product, it does not require pay­ ment to remove nasty’s that it finds on your computer; I wouldn’t have recommended it had that not been the case.

The main difference between the paid for version and the free version is that the paid for version can run in the background and stop threats as they hap­ pen, the free version requires you to run a scan, never the less it’s a great product and has saved a number of my customers from nasty malware.

Update: Hi Richard, thanks very much for replying to me so quickly. I did in fact go to the correct website and was offered a choice at the beginning of free version or paid version. I opted for the free one and as required ran the scan. The result was that it said I had 400 items to remove which was a little worrying. I told it to remove them but the answer was that it would do the first 15 but I would have to pay for the rest to be removed. Perhaps they have made some changes recently. Kind regards, Gerald Update: Hi Gerald, I have just gone through the process of downloading and installing this software for a client who had 50 pieces of malware on his computer. As long as you accept the option after installation to activate the free trial period then MalwareBytes will allow you to perform a full scan on your computer and will allow you to remove ALL of the malware found. The trial only lasts for 30 days but that’s more than enough time to do the download, install and perform a full scan and remove any nasty’s found.

Update: Hi Richard, thank you for your time and patience writing to me. I have gone back on to the same website and tried again. Totally different images and results. It found one nasty only and removed it. I can only think that when it transferred me to Download.com in error I pressed the wrong download button. The site was connected with Amazon but after the result it gave me I just did not trust it and deleted the three programmes which it left on my machine.

I originally tried this out of curiosity and I am pleased that all seems ok. Thank you once again for your time. If I decide to bring a computer to Spain you will get the work. Kind regards, Gerald

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Friday, October 11, 2013

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Friday, October 11, 2013

The AFFORDABLE ANTI AGEING SECRET.

SEMI-PERMANENT MAKE UP

WHAT YOU MUST DO TO STAY HEALTHY DR MACHI MANNU’S ADVICE CLINIC Email your questions and comments to contact@medb.es

Many women already know and will tell you of the confidence they have gained by having their looks restored by having beauti­ fully shaped eyebrows. Soft and natural colour applied in a fabulous shape will lift the face giving a youthful and fresh appear­ ance. This one procedure will instantly knock years off your face! And leave friends guess­ ing what you have done!

The only pitfall is choosing a fully qualified specialist who can be trusted not to spoil this very important feature of a woman's face.

June Hutchinson, who, as well as working in many salons from Javea to Mojacar is also available at the Sophia Wellness Centre in Cabo Roig and for those clients who still pre­ fer Punta Prima, at PRIMA DENTAL.

Why do you have to wait until you fall ill before you take any steps to improve your health? Or perhaps you believe in the miraculous ability of doctors to put things right when your health starts to fall to pieces. If that’s your case, consider the following. According to June ,an advanced technician, who has the prestigious medical worked in London's famous Harley Street Journal, JAMA, doctors are among other clinics in the UK has been the 3rd commonest cause of working here in Spain for 11years and has death in the US after cancer many faithful clients who continue to recom­ and heart disease. mend her.

Furthermore, due to the cuts Other must have treatments are eyeliner, in healthcare expenditure eyeshadow, lipliner and full lip blush.

Imagine not having to worry about melting makeup in the heat, waking up looking natu­ rally defined and more confident.

June will give free consultations on any of these treatments or medical tattooing if you contact her by email or phone or at the Sophia Wellness Centre.722 219 450 junehutchinson@hotmail.co.uk tel no,645 698 349

since the onset of the eco­ nomic crisis a few years ago, many have noticed a decline in the quality of healthcare. Hospitals are best considered as emer­ gency centres especially in today’s world and holding such a view point makes it imperative that you do all you can to stay healthy.

When you start to take the right steps to improve your health, your quality of life will improve significantly, and you will no longer require the services of your doctor. And

proper health education is the key. The very first step in keeping healthy is to cleanse or detoxify the body of contaminants or toxins. It makes sense, don’t you think? Unfortunately this common sense approach is not considered in hospitals because most drugs are tox­ ins! Our world today is heavily polluted and many clinical studies have shown that the average person con­ tains scores of deadly con­ taminants such as lead, mercury, cadmium, alumini­ um, mycotoxins, insecti­ cides, plastics etc. These chemicals are buried deep in cells, causing inflammation which leads to all kinds of health disorders such as arthritis, high blood pres­ sure, memory loss, tired­ ness, abdominal discomfort and the list goes on. The only proven way to get rid of these toxic compounds is with EDTA or Pectasol.

EDTA is given intravenously, and requires several cours­ es, and very expensive.

Luckily there is the recently formulated Pectasol, which is taken by mouth, and is more effective. Drinking at least 1.5 litres of water every day also plays a role in flushing out toxins from the body. Pectasol is available from MedB Health Stores ­ 965071745 FOR FULL BODY DIAG­ NOSTICS CALL DR MANNU­ 965071745

What Is a Calorie?

Definitions of a calorie fall into two classes: The small calorie or gram calorie (symbol: cal) approxi­ mates the energy needed to increase the temperature of 1 gram of water by 1°C. This is about 4.2 joules.

The large calorie, kilogram calorie or food calorie (sym­ bol: Cal) approximates the energy needed to increase the temperature of 1 kilo­ gram of water by 1°C. This is exactly 1000 small calories or about 4.2 kilojoules.

More commonly, the term calorie is used to define the amount of energy a certain food source supplies, referred to as a food calorie and is equal to 1 kilocalorie (kcal), or 1,000 gram calo­ ries.

Edition 7

OFFERS OF THE MONTH

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Friday, October 11, 2013

The latest celebrity craze? Go Go Gadget Google!

From tiny dogs in handbags to enormous sunglasses and chrome­plated teeth, the list of recent celebrity crazes is longer than one of Peter Crouch's gangly legs, but the latest must­have item borders on the slightly terri­ fying.

News broke this week that ex­Spice Girl and America's Got Talent host Mel B joined the growing list of celebrities who have part­ ed with vast sums of cash for the latest armoured car.

Scary Spice's £200,000 Cadillac Escalade has been specially fettled by the Texas Armoring Corporation in San Antonio, a firm that specialises in making vehicles bullet, bomb and even paparazzi proof for well­ heeled clients.

The Escalade features external armour plating that can resist an attack from assault rifles and handguns, a pressurised cabin that can protect against gas attacks as well

as electric shock door handles that deliver a 'non­lethal' 240­volt charge to any would­be intruder.

Perhaps the icing on the rather ridiculous cake is the fact the Escalade can deliver a James Bond­style belch of white smoke to disable anyone in hot pursuit and even eject small spikes to burst tyres of pesky Paps on motorcycles.

Texas Armoring's Mr Forston, 32, told the Daily Mail: "Five years ago we had no Hollywood celebrities as customers.

Nowadays, we have anywhere between 10 to 15 orders a year from celebrities and pro­ fessional athletes."

But ex­pop stars aren't the only ones becoming overly nervous about personal safety as the likes of Steven Seagal, Tiger Woods and rapper Kanye West have all recently ordered armoured cars of varying protective levels.

If it came to be known that Google was working on futuristic, Minority Report– style gesture controls for cars, would you even bat an eye? Get ready to keep those eyelids snapped open, because it turns out Google is working on just such a hand­waving control setup for cars, according to a patent filing engad­ get uncovered.

The concept of touchless controls isn’t a new one—video game systems and even some TVs now come with the tech built in, and automakers like Hyundai are working to bring gesture controls to the driving masses. Still, Google step­ ping into the fray indicates two possibil­ ities: first, that Google would rather have its fleet of robot Toyota Priuses be less boring to occupy, and second, that it thinks Hyundai is on to something and wants in on the action. Both are likely,

especially given how mundane Priuses can be—automated or otherwise.

Google’s patent filing does not seem to include the use of gestures for key vehi­ cle controls such as steering, braking, or throttle; instead, the company’s efforts appear to be placed toward loca­ tionally independent dashboard audio and HVAC systems. Essentially, motions near the air vents will control tempera­ ture or fan speed, whereas motions made near the audio display operate only the audio display. This seems like a clever way to keep the number of hand motions required to use the car to a minimum, since motions can be dupli­ cated for various functions. A camera and laser scanner facing passengers would enable the touchless magic. The future is coming, folks—you’ve been warned.

It may have a new owner, but GT Autos in Los Dolses is promising the same high quality of service and that all important continuity. That’s because the new boss is Spencer, who’s worked there for the last 7 years, and he’ll carry on giving you want you want on sales, aftersales and all the key servicing work that you need for your car!

If you buy a car from GT Autos, then you can rest assured that it has been fully serviced and all the paperwork is sorted out for you, and that’s all included in the price of your new pride and joy. And you get a bit confused over car insurance, then the GT team can help sort that out for you as well.

Spencer is delighted by the support that he’s received since taking over as the main man, and its business as usual as he’ll guide you through the process of buying a car or having it serviced.

The GT Autos Car of the week is a Ford Fiesta 1.4 Diesel 2003 with only 58,000 kms. It’s an outstanding vehicle which you must check out for yourself, espe­ cially with an incredible bargain price of just 3995 Euros.

GT are open weekdays from 9.00am to 6.00pm and on Saturday mornings between 10.00am and 1.00pm.

You can contact Spencer on 637 090 665 or phone James in the Workshop 672 532 758

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Friday, October 11, 2013

Kawasaki Z1000SX review Kawasaki found itself with a surprise hit three years ago with the Z1000SX. Created relatively simply, essentially by adding a full fairing to the naked Z1000, it turned out to be a more than capable sports­tourer.

It struck a chord, especially with the growing group of not­so­young riders who wanted a sporty bike and could live without the wild performance, harsh ergonomics and high price of a super­ sports machine. So much so that it has been Kawasaki’s bestselling model for the past three years.

The 1,043cc, four­cylinder motor and aluminium­framed chassis have been revamped. And its accessory panniers, an important feature of a machine with long­distance pretensions, are redesigned to hold more.

The improvement in performance is slight but the engine is impressive. It has enough top­end power to keep most sports bike fans happy, as well as respectably strong mid­range delivery.

More low­rev urge for overtaking would sometimes be useful but the sporty character adds to the enjoyment, while the gearbox shifts sweetly.

The chassis has been treated to slightly firmer suspension that gives a well con­ trolled ride, backed by adequate ground clearance. Perhaps the best feature is the uprated front brake. Its monobloc

calipers give ferocious stopping power, while an efficient ABS system is a worth­ while £400 option.

The changes will appeal to riders switching from sports bikes. It’s still sharply styled and aggressive­looking, but its reasonably upright riding posi­ tion is easy to live with. And it is improved as an all­rounder, notably in that its rear shock has a remote preload adjustment to suit pillion or luggage.

Comfort and practicality are reasonable but not outstanding. The screen is three­way adjustable and has enough range to be useful for riders of all sizes.

But it doesn’t protect hands, so won’t be much help in cold or wet weather.

The SX is not particularly luxurious but most details are well thought out. The digital display is clear, and you can now toggle through the information from the ’bars. The mirrors are wider and more useful, and the new panniers (likely to cost about £500) are a big improvement: slim, stylish and each large enough to carry a full­face helmet.

The Z1000SX is far from the perfect sports­tourer, but what was already an enjoyable and versatile bike has been updated to good effect. Equally impor­ tantly, the basic SX’s price is expected to increase by a modest £100, so the identity of Kawasaki’s top­selling model of 2014 is surely not in doubt.

PARK AT THE TOUCH OF A BUTTON

Ford has revealed technology developed to enable drivers to park at the touch of a button from inside or outside their car, as well as a prototype that combines automatic steering and braking to avoid collisions with vehicles or pedestrians.

Ford’s Research and Advanced Engineering division harnessed develop­ ments made with existing Ford technologies, Active Park Assist and Ford PowerShift transmission, to produce a Ford Focus equipped with the prototype Fully Assisted Parking Aid system.

The next­generation push­button parking technology – that can even be operated from outside the car by remote control – operates steering, gear selection and forward and reverse motion.

Ford also unveiled Obstacle Avoidance technology (http://youtu.be/nYLwJY3CU18) on the Focus, which issues warnings if it detects slow­moving objects, stationary obstacles or pedestrians in the lane ahead. If the driver fails to steer or brake following the warnings, the system automatically steers and brakes to avoid a collision.

“The future for Ford means developing

innovative products and technologies – including Fully Assisted Parking Aid and Obstacle Avoidance – that help deliver a safer, more convenient, more desirable, more personalised and greener driving and ownership experience,” said Barb Samardzich, Ford’s European Product Development vice president.

“Ford Motor Company has always been one of the world’s leading pioneers and for­ ward­thinkers. From the introduction of a whole new way of mass producing cars 100 years ago to the advanced safety and con­ venience features unveiled today, we contin­ ue to set the template and define the future for drivers and the automotive environment.”

Ford’s futuring experts have identified an increasing consumer demand worldwide for technology and features which make life easier and safer.

“Car­buyers are placing a growing empha­ sis on the ownership experience, on pur­ chases that keep them connected on the move – trends that will have an effect on the vehicles, features and services they will choose in the future,” said Sheryl Connelly, Ford Global Trends and Futuring manager.

THE FACTS

Kawasaki Z1000SX Tested: 1,043cc, four­cylinder four­stroke, six­speed transmission Price/on sale: £9,299 (£9,699 with ABS; both TBC)/late October Power/torque: 140bhp @ 10,000rpm/82lb ft @ 7,300rpm Top speed: 150mph (estimated) Range: 150 miles @ 40mpg (estimated) Verdict: Fast, stylish and capable superbike with sporty looks and performance, useful all­round ability and a competitive price

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Friday, October 11, 2013

Building the world's fastest EV What if you could toss all the qualms about electric cars out the window and build one that doesn’t care one iota about range nor looking like a conservative marshmallow designed by styling clinics? The Drayson is exactly that: a Lola­chassised EV that’s been built with no intention of beating the London Congestion Charge, but instead with the sole aim of swallowing Tarmac as quickly as possible. Its top speed? A handy 204.185mph – the new World Land Speed Record for an electric vehicle, set by owner Paul Drayson. So what makes this electric supercar tick?

Bespoke motors, monster power

The Lola­Drayson B12/69EV, the official name given to this green monster, has not one but four aluminium, asynchronous, three­phase, permanent magnet elec­ tric motors. Each ‘pancake format’ motor, weighs 25kg and started out with 121bhp. Drayson’s coy on exactly what it’s done to

develop them, but they now make 268bhp – each! The oil­cooled motors are mounted forward of the rear axle in pairs, each pair driving a rear wheel individually through a single speed reduction gear. Like the Audi R8 E­Tron and Mercedes SLS AMG E­Cell, the Drayson’s torque vectoring sends more or less torque to each wheel to improve turn­in and cornering bal­ ance. In ‘race qualifying’ trim, the motors develop 850bhp, where they deliver a Bugatti Veyron­busting 0­ 150mph time of 8.5 seconds.

Modular battery power

The lithium­ion batteries pushing this 200mph EV aren’t the same as in your smartphone: phosphate was chosen as it’s more stable than other lithium­ion chem­ istry and safer as a result, plus it has a high energy density (stores a lot of energy for its size and weight).

The 800­volt battery contains 2660 individual cells in two modules and weighs 200kg. Its capacity is 24kWh (the same as a Nissan Leaf, funnily enough) but because of its modularity, can be altered to suit the job at hand, for better range, power and/or weight.

Contact­less charging It’s not just fast on the road: the Drayson takes a mere 40 minutes to charge from flat, using state­of­the­art conductive charging (something in the works at Audi, Nissan and other manufacturers). Plug in a Nissan Leaf when it’s flat, and you’ll wait eight hours before charging’s complete.

Regenerative suspension

You’ve heard of regenerative braking, but the B12/69EV goes further, using its suspension move­ ment to generate electricity. It only makes a small amount, but it’s enough to operate its own control sys­ tems. There’s great scope for this on the road, where there’s much more suspension movement.

End of the road for 'Queen's favourite' car

ONE OF the most­loved and long­lived road vehicles, and a favourite with the Queen, is to cease production.

The last Land Rover Defender will be pro­ duced by Jaguar Land Rover (JLR) at Solihull in the West Midlands in December 2015.

Featuring in the Angelina Jolie film Lara Croft: Tomb Raider and in the latest James Bond movie, Skyfall, the Defender name can be traced back to the early 1990s.

But effectively, the popular 4x4 vehicle, which is exported all around the world, rep­ resents the continuation of the very first Land Rover which came on to the scene in April 1948 and was modelled on the war­ time jeeps.

JLR has confirmed that Defender produc­ tion will cease but has stressed a new replacement vehicle would join the Land Rover model range, which includes the Freelander, the Discovery and the Range Rover.

John Edwards, who has just been announced as the head of JLR's new indi­ vidual products division, has said that the Defender is "known and loved the world over".

He has said the replacement would be "instantly recognised" by anyone who knows the current vehicle and the "core val­ ues of dependability and functionality" would be retained.

Mr Edwards was also reported as saying the new vehicle "won't necessarily be cheap".

Land Rover holds a royal warrant, as supplier to the royal household. The royal relationship with Land Rover goes back to to 1948 when King George VI viewed the original Land Rover.

The Queen, who has been pictured at the wheel of Land Rovers, took delivery of her first one shortly after coming to the throne in 1952 and has used Land Rovers ever since.

A JLR spokesman said today: "Production of Defender in its current for­ mat will stop at the end of 2015.

"A new replacement vehicle will join the Land Rover model range, but we have not yet announced the name nor any details of the new product.

"The Defender in its current format is coming to an end and we are looking at what the options are going forward."

Friday, October 11, 2013

Wind-powered electric cars?

With two new electric models on the way, Volkswagen UK has announced that it has signed a deal with Ecotricity so that buyers of its new battery­powered models can powered their cars purely on renewable energy.

Stroud­based Ecotricity provides all of its electricity from renewable sources including wind and solar power and will give owners of the new Volkswagen e­up! city electric car and e­Golf hatchback reassurance that the cars are truly green, when they arrive on the market next year.

The announcement of the new green energy partnership comes hot on the heels of a declaration from Volkswagen Group Chairman, Dr Martin Winterkorn, that the carmaker intends to become the market leader in electric mobility by 2018. Speaking at the Frankfurt Motor Show, he said the firm has plans for no less than 14 electric and hybrid models by 2014, across brands including Volkswagen, Audi and Porsche.

The new deal, which began with ini­ tial discussions with several energy com­ panies in January 2013, sees Ecotricity become the pre­ ferred supplier of green energy for Volkswagen Group cus­ tomers in the UK. This means that any customer purchasing an electric vehicle from one of the Group’s brands will be offered, at point of sale, the option to adopt Ecotricity’s 100 per cent green tariff for their home and vehicle energy sup­ plies.

When Ecotricity was founded in 1995, it became the world’s first ‘green electricity’ company, with an aim to change the way electricity is made and used in Britain.

Now powering over 75,000 homes and businesses from

its growing fleet of wind and sun parks, Ecotricity is a ‘not­ for­dividend’ enterprise that, invests more per customer in building new sources of green electricity than any other energy company in Britain.

Commenting on the deal, Andrew Bannister, Head of Environmental Management for Volkswagen Group (UK) said: “We’re delighted to be able to offer those customers who are making a choice to purchase an electric­powered car the option to adopt a green energy package, meaning their motoring can be powered by 100 per cent renewable energy.

“We reviewed a number of suppliers and Ecotricity emerged as the best choice for us and our customers.”

Ecotricity founder, Dale Vince OBE, said: “As someone who drives an elec­ tric vehicle, it is important where your fuel comes from.

Ideally an electric car should be charged using 100 per cent renew­ able energy; other­ wise you are still powering it from fos­ sil fuels.

“Running a car on green electricity from the wind and the sun is the last piece of the jigsaw; it’s the ultimate in green motoring. Now you can plug your car into your house at the end of each day and recharge it on renewables, it’s an exciting new world.”

The first Volkswagen Group electric car to go on sale in the UK will be the Volkswagen e­up! city car. Order books will open in November, with the first deliveries beginning in January 2014. Following this and on sale mid­2014 will be the e­Golf, followed at the end of the year by the Audi A3 Sportback e­tron plug­in hybrid.

Korea may have had the F1 but Spain had Run to the real Sun!

Korea may have played host to the F1 this weekend, but Spain had the stock car racing event of the year dubbed ‘Run to the real sun’. It had it all – engines roaring, tyres screeching, t­boning, nudging, spinning and wheel to wheel racing. The marshals really had their work cut out for them and did Velocity proud, ensuring that no­one was hurt and that a fantastic night’s racing was had by all.

Drivers from across the UK and Germany joined the men and women of Velocity to determine just who would become a European Champion and lift a coveted tro­ phy. The tournament was split into three groups – two each for the rookie rods and one for the lightnings and each group com­ peted in two heats and then a final. This was then followed by a winner takes all, one­off race consisting of 20 laps around the Circuito Cartagena track and definitely not for the faint hearted! All in all, the crowd were entertained with three full hours of thrill inducing and heart stopping racing.

Showing the boys how it should be done,

Rookie driver Caroline Capel won the first heat, came third in the second and then went on to secure a convincing win in the final and earn herself a trophy. The visitors fared much better in the Rookies second round, with Mark Pope in number 654 proving exactly why he is the former Cornish Champion by winning not only the heat but also the final for this category earning a tro­ phy to take back with him.

The lightning rods title was a heavily con­ tested battle between Nick Kelly in No. 48 and Dave Belcher in No.8. Nick had the bet­ ter drive in the first heat and secured the win whilst Belchie came back with a win in the second. With a trophy up for grabs in the final, these two drivers went wheel to wheel for a full 20 laps, ending with Nick in first place and Belchie finishing second. Not content with that, Nick then went on to win the Euro all­comers title as well – Is there no stopping him?

The next race night will be held on 19 October and directions can be found at www.velocityracing.eu

5

Students break electric vehicle acceleration record

A group of Dutch students have officially set a new world record for the fastest accelerating electric vehicle using a homemade sports car creation.

The tiny vehicle managed to complete the 0­62mph sprint time in just 2.15 seconds, beating the previous record of 2.68 seconds by a considerable margin.

A team of boffins at the Delft University of Technology created the small electric racer, dubbed DUT13, that uses wheel­mounted electric motors to rocket it across the asphalt.

The electric motors create a relatively puny 135bhp but the go­kart­like creation only weighs 145kg (thanks in part to each motor weighing just 3.7kg) without all of its fluids on­board, improving the power­to­weight ratio no end.

To ensure the record was well and truly smashed, the University engineers nominated Marly Kuijpers, the smallest member of the team, to pilot the car on the day.

Team manager Tim de Moree said, "We thought that under these conditions we'd be happy with 2.30.

"But we really didn't expect 2.15."

The car hasn't simply been relegated to the back of a dusty shed following the new record as the Delft team hope to also succeed in Formula Student races in England, Germany an Austria.

After all, the car does boast full fat racing features such as regenerative braking, slip ratio control, torque vector­ ing and a full­width 'venturi­tunnel'... Whatever that is.

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Friday, October 11, 2013

INVESTMENT MOTORS: CARS THAT WILL GO UP IN VALUE Peugeot 106 GTi investment potential: 3/5

The Roadster might look sporty, but underneath the curvy styling, it is mechanically the same as the Fourtwo city coupe, so it is not that quick. But what it lacks in perform­ ance, it more than makes up for in driver appeal and afford­ able running costs.

The expert’s view: the Smart Roadster was a bit of a sad story. It could have been the successor to the Spitfires and Midgets of the 1960s. It died a premature death after being produced in relatively limited numbers. Could it be the Austin Healey Frogeye Sprite for the Millennium?

Honda S2000 investment potential: 3/5

Yours for: £1,800, 2002/02, 91,000 miles, independent dealer Think fast 106 and you usually think of the stripped­out, limited edition Rallye. However, the GTi is still a proper 90s hot hatch, with precise steering, sharp handling and a sur­ prisingly comfortable ride.

The expert’s view: Peugeot has a great history of produc­ ing stellar hot hatches and superminis. The problem for future collectability for the 106 is the gorgeous 205 GTi of the 1980s and early 1990s. The 205 has yet to really catch fire with collectors, in spite of the fact that it’s better and pret­ tier than the mk1 Golf GTI.

Renaultsport Clio 182 investment potential: 4/5

dler, the steering is pleasingly responsive.

The expert’s view: collectors at times seem unfairly biased against Japanese cars. To date, only the super rare Toyota 2000GT has become anything resembling a blue­chip col­ lectible. Even the groundbreaking 240/260Z of the 1970s is still too cheap for what it represents.

BMW MINI Cooper S JCW investment potential: 3/5

Yours for: £5,000, 2003/53, 80,000 miles, independent dealer This was Honda’s 50th birthday present to itself. S2000 highlights include a VTEC engine that can rev to 9,000rpm and perfect weight distribution, and it is also well­made, reli­ able and wrapped in distinctive roadster styling.

The expert’s view: Honda has a little known but credible history of building small, high­revving sports cars with the S600 and S800 of the 1960s. The S2000 was Honda’s bid to recapture some of that appeal and it was a terrific sports car that was a cut above the Mazda MX­5. It is not particu­ larly rare but not exactly common either; good, unmodified examples are getting scarce, a sure sign that this car is a future collectible.

Jaguar XK8/XKR investment potential: 4/5

Yours for: £2,300, 2005/05, 80,000 miles, independent dealer Quick, with entertaining handling and on top of this, the Renaultsport Clio is cheap to run too. Try to buy either the basic Cup version, or better­equipped cars with the optional Cup packs. Search out one of the 500 Trophy cars for trick suspension and leather Recaro front seats.

The expert’s view: the Clio 182 is likely to go down in his­ tory as one of the greatest hot hatches of all time. Therefore, when fans start assembling vast collections of hot hatches, in the way US collectors of muscle cars began to 20 or 30 years ago, the Clio 182 is likely to be among the most sought after.

Smart Roadster investment potential: 3/5

Yours for: £3,000, 2006/06, 68,000 miles, independent dealer

Yours for: £6,000, 2003/53, 96,000 miles, independent dealer This has all the kudos of modifications made by the origi­ nal Mini fettler, John Cooper Garages; the Cooper S with John Cooper Works kit usefully turns up the performance wick to over 200bhp. Rare, late GP models are lighter, have even more power (218bhp) and keener handling.

The expert’s view: BMW’s rebooting of the legendary Classic Mini has been an almost unqualified success. A seemingly infinite platform for personalisation, the JCW cars occupy a special place in the MINI pecking order and they are likely to continue to do so well into the future, just as the original Cooper S has done.

Ford Puma - investment potential: 5/5 (Racing Puma)

Yours for: £5,500, 1996/P, 80,000 miles, independent dealer The XK8 was the 1996 replacement for the long­running XJS coupe and soft­top; this Jaguar is no sports car, but is a great Grand Tourer, with its supple ride, balanced handling and high levels of grip.

The expert’s view: right now, these are popular as cheap Aston Martin DB7 alternatives and prices have almost cer­ tainly hit rock bottom. High maintenance costs, mechanical complexity and the lack of a manual gearbox work against the car as a future collectible, although we don’t rule it out, simply because the car is quite beautiful and offers excellent performance.

Nissan 350Z investment potential: 3/5

Yours for: £5,500, 2004/54, Coupe, 97,000 miles, inde­ pendent dealer Nissan’s noughties Z remake has an old­school sports car feel, with the 3.5­litre V6 engine powering the rear wheels via six­speed manual transmission, mated with sharp coupe and convertible bodywork. Generally a well­balanced han­

Yours for: £6,500, 2000/X Racing, 85,000 miles, inde­ pendent dealer Underneath those distinctive coupe lines, the Puma is all Fiesta. All models are real drivers’ cars, but the 1.7 and Racing have the power to make the most of the excellent chassis. The Racing Puma also features unique blistered bodywork only in Ford Racing Blue, Alcon brakes and Sparco front seats.

The expert’s view: there’s never likely to be a sufficient shortage of ordinary Pumas to create sufficient demand to

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Friday, October 11, 2013

Citroen C6 investment potential: 2/5

propel the car to top­drawer collector status. The exception is the extremely rare Ford Racing Puma special edition, of which only 500 were produced for the UK market.

Alfa Romeo 147 GTA investment potential: 3/5

turers such as BMW and Porsche have a history of doing well as collectibles. We’ll give the TT quattro Sport a better than even chance.

BMW M3 investment potential: 2/5

Yours for: £7,000, 2004/54, 47,000 miles, independent dealer Drop a 246bhp, 3.2 litre V6 engine in Alfa’s attractive, if compact 147 and the result was one fiery hot hatch.

However, you need the maximum commitment to get the best out of this car, as it likes to torque steer.

The expert’s view: Italian hot hatches occupy a special place in the hearts of hot­hatch fans (since there have been comparatively fewer good ones than French and German ones). The 147 GTA was especially competent, as well as mean­looking. Special points for the Autodelta­modified cars.

Audi TT quattro Sport investment potential: 3/5

Yours for: £7,000, 2005/05, 64,000 miles, independent dealer A final hurrah for TT mk1 production, the quattro Sport is more focused with extra power (240bhp), 49kg less weight and modified suspension. The result is the most involving TT to drive of its type.

The expert’s view: 800 of these lightweight TTs were sold in the UK in 2005. Like the Porsche 911 Club Sport 20 years earlier, weight savings and the performance differential were not stunning, but factory lightweights from German manufac­

Yours for: £7,000, 2007/56, 63,000 miles, independent dealer The C6 is a car for die­hard Citroen fans, as it takes its inspiration from great, big models of the past. This exclusive Citroen offers limo­like levels of rear space and a pillowy ride, all wrapped up in distinctively avant­garde styling.

The expert’s view: Citroen fans shed real tears when the C6 departed this world last year. The model appeared to be a triumphant return to the sort of idiosyncratic thinking that brought the world the revolutionary DS and CX, but now it seems that there just isn’t a place for this sort of thinking in the executive car class, which is a pity. It remains to be seen if collectors will love the C6 the way they did the DS of the 1950s and 1960s.

MG ZT V8 investment potential: 3/5

Yours for: £7,000, 2003/03, 103,000 miles, independent dealer The E46­generation M3 is exciting to drive, with a capable chassis and one of the best six­cylinder engines around. The most sought­after version is the hardcore CSL with its car­ bon roof, extra power, bigger alloys and more powerful brakes.

The expert’s view: this is seemingly the last M3 to adhere to the tried and true straight­six power that has motivated the M3 since the E36 cars. While brilliant performers, they’re complex and expensive to keep up after the warranty expires. This and the fact that nearly 100,000 were built tends to suggest that collectability lies in the rather distant future, if at all.

Yours for: £7,000, 2006/56, 5,000 miles, independent dealer The ZT V8 is a masterclass in oddball engineering and a real driver's car. What was originally a front­wheel­drive Rover 75 was transformed into a short­lived, rear­wheel­ drive range­topper, powered by a 256bhp 4.6­litre V8 from a Ford Mustang.

The expert’s view: this is an odds­on favourite for future collectability. It was produced in very small numbers during the dying days of the Rover empire, with a cracking Ford­ sourced 4.6 litre V8. The cars were somewhat crude but quite entertaining, with fun, rear­wheel­drive handling and good looks courtesy of Peter Stevens of second­generation Lotus Esprit and McLaren Formula One fame.

8

Friday, October 11, 2013

Friday, October 11, 2013

21

FEEL BETTER WITH A DETOX Q A

I am always tired, and my doctor says it’s the weather or it’s in my mind, but over the years it has been getting worse. What can I do?

From my experience carrying­out full body diagnostic scans, the commonest reason for tiredness is high lev­ els of toxins or contaminants in tissues and organs. And as a rule, the heavier the contamination, the more severe the tiredness felt. These toxins are all around us, in the air we breathe, the water we drink and especially the foods that we eat, which are heavily contaminated with heavy metals such as mercury and aluminium, insecticides, pesticides and her­ bicides. Normally, the liver converts these toxic chemicals into harmless compounds and stores them, but after a while it becomes overloaded, and our fat cells take over the func­ tion of storing these toxins. And when our fat cells can no longer contain these toxins, they start seeping into organs such as the brain, heart, bones, intestines, thyroid and kid­ neys. This contamination is the leading cause of inflamma­ tion, and the main cause of tiredness. In the thyroid gland for example, toxins disrupts the production of thyroxin, a hor­ mone that regulates the metabolic processes required for producing energy. In the absence of thyroxin or when levels are low, our metabolic rate falls, less energy is produced, and we feel tired. The higher centres in the brain that also regulate the activities of the thyroid gland as well as other endocrine glands are not spared from contamination. When these higher centres such as the pituitary gland becomes overwhelmed with toxins, they are no longer able to produce the proteins or peptides required to regulate the activities of the hormonal system, and this dysfunction can manifest as tiredness among other problems. Tiredness can also result from a weakness of the heart and blood vessels that make

up the cardiovascular system. Most people are aware of the common disorders of the cardiovascular system such as high blood pressure and heart attack, but these health prob­ lems are now known to be caused mostly by a nutritional deficiency. To function properly, the heart needs special nutrients such as Acetyl­L­Carnitine and Co­enzyme Q10.

Every single cell in the body especially actively functioning cells such as the brain, heart and kidney requires CoQ10 for the production of energy. However the problem we are faced with is that as we age, our bodies make less and less of these essential nutrients. When the level of CoQ­10 in the body is low, the heart will work less efficiently, and this will lead to a feeling of tiredness. Another common cause of tiredness is anaemia caused by the lack of iron or vitamin B12 deficiency. Iron is necessary to form haemoglobin – the pigment that gives blood its red colour, and plays the role of transporting oxygen to where it is needed. When iron or vita­ min B12 is in short supply in the body, less haemoglobin is produced, and less oxygen can get to the tissues, causing less work to be done by organs such as the heart, eventually causing tiredness. Nutritional deficiencies cause tiredness, and are quite common not because people do not consume enough nutrients, but because nutrients are not properly assimilated by the body. A number of medications are known to cause tiredness, and people who take more than a couple feel constantly tired. Medications for hypertension or high blood pressure are especially notorious for causing tired­ ness. My advice to you is to have a proper check­up with your doctor to look at all aspects of your health, including your medications if you are taking any. In the absence of a thorough health check, you will do well to consider a detox with Pectasol You can’t go wrong with a detox because we

are all contaminated, albeit to varying degrees. And in my experience most people who have had a detox enjoy an improvement in energy levels. Pectasol is the only detox agent that can be taken by mouth (it’s a powder) that has been proven scientifically to work. You can order Pectasol from Douglas Laboratories from MedB Health Shop for 83.98 Euros (112g), Call 965071745. Delivery is free.

PLEASE SEND YOUR QUESTIONS TO contact@medb.es or to the editor of the courier.

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22

Friday, October 11, 2013

Tony

23

Friday, October 11, 2013

Mayes

HE ALWAYS HAS SOMETHING TO SHOUT ABOUT

ENOCH WAS RIGHT!

A rebel Tory MP has exposed just how much David Cameron is frightened of the prospect of an early vote which could pull Britain out of Europe.

Adam Afriyie wants an early referendum ­ in October 2014 ­ on quitting the EU with a vote in five weeks' time. If he wins (which is doubtful) it would fast forward the referendum. But those MPs who want Britain to remain in, know only too well that there are so many Brits who want the country out, that a vote in a year's time might win it for the antis. Cameron hopes that a possible renegotiation of terms and a vote delay until 2017 might fudge the issue sufficiently to con­ vince voters that it's best to keep Britain in. He's vowed to fight Mr Afriyie's attempt at all costs. If Britain hadn't been so crass over immigration, the country might be far more in favour of staying in Europe. But immigration has changed the face of the country and not for the better. And the prob­ ability is that whenever British people get the chance to vote on staying in or quitting, the decision will not extend much further than the desire to put up the barriers and keep more immigrants out. And that's sad, because, having just been to see first­hand in Auschwitz what happened just 70 years ago when countries in Europe went to war with each other, there is a strong need for all of Europe to be united.

A strong Europe economically is vital, and a Europe reduced to individual states, some strong financially, politi­ cally and militarily with a much weaker neighbour is just the ingredient for a future conflict, especially if you throw in future problems with global warming, increased difficulties in producing sufficient food to feed the population, increased energy costs and fresh water supplies being ever more stretched. There's no doubt that Britain's membership of the EU benefits us as ex­pats, because, without it, our financial and medical arrangements could be vastly different. One thing instantly comes to mind with ex­pats in other parts of the world seeing their state pensions diminished as they are not topped up annually. We don't want that to happen in a divided Europe and neither do we want to see an end to reciprocal health arrangements. I believe one way forward is that being presented by Home Secretary Theresa May, who wants a concerted campaign against organised foreign gangs committing crimes, exploiting Britain and costing the country an estimated £34bn a year. A National Crime Agency is to be set up to fight organised crime and target the criminals, and she wants thousands of the worst foreign ones deported even before prosecution. She names the greatest threat to the UK as coming from Nigeria, Pakistan, Romania, Poland, Lithuania and Vietnam, with Albania and Turkey also causing concern. I just hope that her efforts are not thwarted by the crazy Human Rights legislation. If it hap­ pens, I hope the Tories waste no time in demonstrating to the electorate the parties ­ Labour and Lib Dems ­ which want Britain to remain governed by the European Convention of Human Rights. There is no doubt that some immigration is good for Britain, bringing in enterprise and a good work ethic, helping to creating a strong economy. But

the last thing we want is to import criminals; the lazy who just want to live on Britain's benefit system or cause trouble by different beliefs and values.

q

Now let's turn our attention to yet another aspect of life which has been severely damaged by the influx of immigrants into Britain (as if there hasn't been enough already). I refer to the news that many UK schools have opted to gloss over teaching religious education in schools.

I can well understand why: ­­ it must be a total minefield with so many conflicting religions and a growing number of chil­ dren whose parents are atheist or agnostic. Sadly, those inflicted with a strong religious belief also have the "divine knowledge" that their religion is the only one that is right and every other is wrong. They also have the "divine right" to go out into the world and try to convert everyone else. And that can only lead to one ultimate end ­ conflict. It's been going on for the past 2,000 years and shows no hope of a let up and in fact the conflict and divisions seem to be getting worse. It's no wonder that teachers have decided to leave the subject well alone. A survey has shown that teachers "lacked the confidence and knowledge to stretch students" and an entire generation of children now had only a superfi­ cial knowledge of Christianity. It's all as a result of the stupid­ ity of politicians and liberal thinkers who rushed headlong into trying to achieve a multi­cultural Britain without any idea of the outcome. Enoch Powell, accused at the time of being a racist, was so right in what he said. It’s such a shame that people who could have made a difference, closed their minds to what he was saying. Sadly children are now leaving school without the most important gift that a religious belief can bestow ­ and that is a moral code in which to live by. And that's why we have so many teenagers, 20 and 30­some­ things that put their own wants and needs before anything and anyone else, and why we have become a totally selfish society.

q

And now let's look at yet another crazy outcome of the rush to become multicultural Britain: ­ 1 in 10 of the families given taxpayer­subsidised social housing in the UK last year was foreign. They show that the rate at which newly arrived immigrants acquire council and housing association homes has gathered pace even in the face of deep public concern. The proportion of foreign citizens taking advantage of the diminishing supply of publicly­subsidised homes has risen by more than 50 per cent in five years. Half a million immigrants who came to Britain in the decade after 2001 were housed in taxpayer­subsidised social homes. The fact is that the system has been allowing immigrants to jump the queue, pushing local people down the list, all on the altar of equality. It is no wonder there is now such a shortage of affordable housing in the UK. Can you imagine Spain, or anywhere else in Europe for that matter, allowing such a sit­ uation to develop? It brings me back to my original observa­ tion ­ that the British public are itching to get a vote on future EU membership and it will be immigration which will be the number one issue. And politicians who have closed their eyes for years to the problems created by an open door pol­ icy will only have themselves to blame if the result is a big no to staying in the EU.

q

I never ever seem to fail to discover some news story which highlights how stupid Britain has become, and here's one of the craziest. Two double garages in central London have just been sold for more than a quarter of a mil­ lion pounds. No, it wasn't the Beckhams on the lookout for a garage for their new pad! These garages are on a small plot of land, 25ft 2 ins by 34ft in depth that were listed by auction­ eers at £80,000. There was a lot of interest in the room and finally they were knocked down for £251,000. They are in an area where a five bedroom house can set you back £6million and, no doubt, the new owner believes that he can squeeze some living accommodation on the site, though no planning permission has yet been obtained. The average price for a three­bed semi costs around £160,000. What a crazy world!

q

I can't let this week's rant go by without a word on the latest nonsense over Ed Miliband. When I first heard a BBC report that he was complaining about the Daily Mail

story that his father reportedly hated Britain, I was mildly sympathetic to him. Sadly, the BBC failed to inform viewers the reason for the story was that Red Ed was continually banging on about his father influencing his thinking ­ and that his father was a Marxist. Hence the story. In many major speeches Red Ed has made since becoming leader, he has spoken of his refugee parents, their flight from Nazism and the debt he owes them for his convictions and values. If the man who hopes to be Prime Minister says his father’s outlook helped shape his politics, how can his dad’s life and work be declared beyond legitimate journalistic scrutiny? Further than that, when Margaret Thatcher died, there was nothing more disgraceful than the attacks by much of the Labour Party and trade unions on her political career. Savage burnings of effigies and parties celebrating her death were organised. Was any attempt made by the Labour Party leadership to call for restraint? No. Not a peep!

In his reply to the Daily Mail entitled ‘Why my father loved Britain’, he appeared to give the excuse that his father was only 17 when he made his negative comments of hating Britain. If being 17 years is his excuse — the presumption being one of immaturity — then why is he advocating lower­ ing the voting age to 16?

Finally, Ed Miliband never stops smearing David Cameron over his background and schooling — but now Ed feels badly served when his own background is mentioned.

Hypocrisy comes to mind!

There's one aspect of the tale I find utterly distasteful, however, and that is reporters going to the funeral of a Miliband relative and questioning mourners. How can so called professional journalists be so crass?

q

They were once only associated with sailors, convicts and gang members, but now one in five of the popula­ tion of the US has one and the trend is not far behind in the UK. What am I writing about ­ the craze of people tattooing vast areas of their bodies. I hate the sight of people with huge areas of their bodies covered with tattoos ­ I think it looks common and crass, but then I'm part of a generation brought up on different values. I suppose it all started going crazy when the likes of David Beckham did it ­ he has no fewer than 34 tattoos, and Cheryl Cole whose collection includes a bunch of roses tattooed across her lower back. I have to be careful here, because my wife has small single tattoos of butterflies and the wife of David Cameron has a dolphin on her ankle. I think it's horrible when you see peo­ ple with tattoos all over their bodies, neck and shaved head.

I just cannot understand why anyone would want to inflict so much pain on themselves and then parade around the streets looking like it? Is it an attempt to appear more macho, or are they trying to make themselves appear repul­ sive, and, in the process, less employable so they can live a life on benefits?

Whatever the reason, it seems it's a growing trend, but one I will not be copying. My opinion...yuk! What do you think?

24

Friday, October 11, 2013

Horrorscopes Aries March 21 ­ April 19 A small conjunction between Pluto and Mercury bodes ill on Tuesday. On this day you could be faced with a pivotal decision which can only be resolved by the use of a toy Tarot card set. (Always keep in mind that the power of the toy Tarot is never enhanced by an overly cynical attitude.) A small African ornament on the fireplace will grow by half an inch this week but nobody will notice.

Taurus April 20 ­ May 20 Nothing other than sugar will be able to console you after the death of a favourite soap star this month. Eat chocolate until you put on 25 lbs or more, or your ankles swell up so that your shoes no longer fit.

You will be asked by a Broadway director to play the lead in Fiddler On The Roof due, solely, to your bushy beard.

Gemini May 21 ­ June 20 Your daily getting ready to go out routine has never been more in danger. Avoid the application of makeup to your face from Monday, until dawn of Friday, as Uranus is determined to undermine your makeup applying hand with violent upswings (this also includes your hairbrush hand, or head shaving hand, but to a 5% lesser extent).

Cancer June 21 ­ July 22 You will try Ben and Jerry's new Tub Of Grub ice cream this week. When finishing the car­ ton ensure that all of the sticky bits have been consumed as this could lead to a violent cat choking incident afterwards which will have an unexpected karmic influence on your tele­ phone number on which a large number of cold callers will feel compelled to call just before you sit down to eat with the family.

By Pandora Leo July 23 ­ August 22 What a wonderful week you are about to have... starting from a small win of money, or maybe you are going to be right about something for once in an argument or maybe a quiz... Avoid underground caves, alcohol and potato chips, and do not attempt any back flipping in your Yogic Boxing DVD workout unless your are being properly supervised.

Virgo August 23 ­ September 22 In an incredible moment of bad fortune you will beat the world sneezing record on Sunday. Ensure you have enough handkerchiefs in which to direction your violently phlegmy exhalations. Even more unfortunately, your marathon sneezathon will begin during a high pow­ ered working breakfast..

Libra September 23 ­ October 22 A chance encounter in a fast food restau­ rant on the Thursday will encourage you to reconsider your life goals, especially with regards to processed meat products. When looking to buy a pet on Friday you will be drawn to a cute puppy with a small limp and a shiny nose: name him Lenny and pat him liberally around the waist.

Scorpio October 23 ­ November 21 You are at risk of a motor accident this week when your favourite rock music radio station suddenly changes its music policy to Show Tunes and Crooners, without warning. Be pleasant to those rescuing you ­ especially if cutting equipment is required ­ calmly ask them to retune your radio to 91.9FM while you wait.

Sagittarius November 22 ­ December 21 Saturn is experimenting with a new rage and may use you for its evil machinations around Saturday. The new rage will make itself apparent to you in the form of a cross between supermarket trolley rage and road rage and may involve water, but not pot plants. A dog with a limp will look into your eyes this week in an attempt to doggy­hyp­ notise you.

Capricorn December 22 ­ January 19 A warmly seasonal incident will occur on Monday when Mars trajuncts a cautious Neptune on its upper lower side.

Avoid drop­kicking a ball of paper that you screw up on Friday as you are at risk of a complicated incident ensuing... you will miss the waste basket in any case.

Aquarius January 20 ­ February 18 You have always enjoyed rearranging furniture ever since your college years when you shared a flat with two Feng­ shui extremists. This evil side of your per­ sonality has lain dormant for far too long... When invited to your next sleep over, or when next you stay with elderly relatives, get up in the middle of the night to rearrange the furniture downstairs.

Pisces February 19 ­ March 20 You will come up with a new arrangement for the romantic hit 'Nothing Compares To You' ­ discovering that there is an option for a sort of hiccup effect at the end of the third line (in the coming years this effect will surpass the 'ooooiiioooiii' voice war­ bling many vocalists have introduced into their singing style).

Friday, October 11, 2013

25

TONY'S TEAM LEAD IN HAIR AND BEAUTY

Skandaloo Hair and Beauty Salon has been operating since 2009 and is situated in the busy Torremarina Shopping Centre close to both La Mata and Torrevieja.

Tony the owner, who is Spanish, has over 25 years experience in the hairdressing trade and has developed Skandaloo into a Unisex Hairdresser offering cuts, colours, blow dries, perms, hair extensions etc. As the business grew Tony was joined in 2012 by Gemma who also has many years of experi­ ence as a Hair Stylist.

The latest recruit to join his team is Christina, a very experienced Unisex Hairdresser. This year Tony decided to expand his business to include offering several beauty and body treatments.

These treatments are provided by qualified beautician Claudia who is from Romania and has 24 years experience. Claudia offers anti­wrinkle treatments, facials, pedicures, manicures (including shellac / acrylic / gel

nail extensions), waxing, and semi­perma­ nent make­up tattoos for lips, eye brows and eye liner. Also available are various body treatments that include body massage. For a short time Claudia is offering 10% off all her beauty and body treatments so, if you have been longing to have a facial or a back massage, now is the time to try one!

Skandaloo has a friendly relaxed atmos­ phere and strives, on every occasion, to please its clients. With friendly staff who speak several languages that includes Spanish, English, French, Danish and Swedish, this has helped the salon to be continuously well supported over the last 5 years with clients returning time and again.

Skandaloo Hair and Beauty Salon is open Monday to Friday 10am until 2pm then reopens from 4pm to 7pm. Saturday opening hours are from 10am to 2pm. To make an appointment telephone 966 923 823 or Mbl 671 048 533

26

Friday, October 11, 2013

CITY SUPPORTERS Flamenco favourites SHOW UNITED SPIRIT

Generous Manchester City fans have given the young­ sters of Dolores football team a cash donation to help them keep going. The Costa Blanca branch of the Manchester City supporters club is based at the Breeze Bar in Benimar,

and besides watching all of their team’s matches, the 80­ strong group supports junior football across the area.

Branch chairman, Peter Smith, along with secretary Jackie Smith, and fund­raiser Pat Kotas presented the

Dolores senior team with a cheque before their 2­nil win over Santa Pola on Sunday, which took them to the top of the league. And to cap an enjoyable day, Peter won the raffle and the price of a big 7 kilo turkey!

By Michael Walsh One of the area’s most famous hotel restaurants has added a spectacular Andalucía flamenco show to its autumn events.

The Los Alcazares historic La Encarnacion Hotel and internationally acclaimed fla­ menco’s artiste Raquel Pena have linked up to offer entertainment every Sunday

night, featuring the maes­ tra’s outstanding dancers, often including Luciana Ibanez and Daniel Asis.

Described as the perfect Spanish partnership, the famous hotel and restaurant once hosted King Alfonso X111 whilst the upmarket eatery provided the model Spanish setting for the American movie Garden of

Eden starring Richard E. Grant.

Evocatively it was home to the Soviet Union’s Red Army officers at the time Ernest Hemingway was covering the Spanish Civil War. No doubt the deafening percus­ sion of flamenco heels will now conjure up a long lost atmosphere of the war cor­ respondent’s Spain.

HOME BOOST

BIG FIRETA

Are you good with fig­ ures? If so, Age Concern Costa Blanca South could do with your help as they are after an Assistant Treasurer. You’d only need to work a few hours a week, and though you should have some accounting experience, full training will be given.

If you fit the bill, then call the Age Concern President on 966 786 887.

Help at Home Costa Blanca got a helping hand through a charity bazaar in La Zenia in memory of David Bennett.

The event at the Red Seas Café was organised by David’s partner Mikki, along with the Café owners, Chrissie and Joe, and Steve and Anne from Pretty Neat Cards. There was Spanish dancing, along with a fashion show plus a clothes sale and cut price food for anybody who gave money to the charity.

The event raised an impressive 750 Euros for Help at Home who offer a little free help at home to those in need of all ages and nationalities. The charity offers respite to those with long term conditions like Alzheimers and Dementia.

Over 80 thousand people enjoyed Elche’s 3rd Fireta last weekend in a major display of food, farming, and local cul­ ture. The event, based around the Paseo de la Estación, is already looking for more space for next year, as a number of exhibitors had to be refused a space due to huge demand.

On Sunday 20th October Footwork Dance Studio in col­ laboration with TKO Radio 91,9 fm and El Toro Carvery are holding a promotional day to encourage more youngsters into dance.

This is taking place at El Toro Carvery Restaurant on the CV951 (Road to Torremendo) just outside San Miguel de Salinas. To book call 966 842 070 .

The day starts around noon when you can get one of El Toro’s famous Sunday Roast dinners. Followed by music at 15,00 hrs from the TKO radio Roadshow, The Dance exhibi­ tion commences from 16,00hrs with many types of dance on offer and continues through many costume changes till 19,00hrs. The music continues till 8pm.

Thoughout the afternoon the will be a raffle being held with great prizes such as:­ Voucher for nail painting at “Glamourus” in Play Flamenca Meal for two at “ Estela Sorrento” in Quesada Meal for two at “El Toro Carvery” in San Miguel Meal for two at “The new Tavern” in San Miguel de Salinas

A Fruit and Vegtable Hamper from “The Veg Garden” A Food Hamper from “The Food Cupboard” in San Miguel de Salinas A photo from Family Portrait Various prizes of bottles of spirits and wine etc.

Footwork Dance prides itself on being a fun and versatile school with an array of different classes to suit everyone.

Footwork has grown and changed with the times all the way through from 1994 to present day allowing us to have gained over the years the knowledge and experience neces­ sary to provide the extremely high standard in everything we do.

We have a wide range of classes, from the more tradition­ al Ballet, Tap, Modern, Contemporary, Acrobatics and Tai Chi, to the more exercise based classes such as Dancersise, Ballates, and Yoga. We have also just intro­ duced Musical Theatre, Drama, and Street Jazz, for boys and girls to our timetable enabling our students to expand their skill set to beyond just one speciality.

Footwork also gives our pupils a chance to perform. Not only do we put on our own shows for friends, family, and the general public, but we also attend every Fiesta possible to ensure we support each community and provide entertain­ ment for all.

So why not support us and give something back! Even the smallest donation could make all the difference to our pupils who work so hard throughout the year to make sure they provide the best entertainment they possibly can and to per­ form to the best of their ability. So please give as little or as much as you can to enable us to continue providing a fun, happy, and most importantly a safe environment where peo­ ple of all ages can come together to either train, exercise, or even just socialise knowing they all have at least one thing in common…

A love to Dance!

To book the TKO outside roadshow call 960 130 123 For any events that you may have coming up in the future. See the main ad on page 25

RAISING A SMILE A new charity is trying to put a smile on local fundraising. The Smile Charity Group looks to raise money by promoting live shows, like recent promotions featuring Woody and the Peckers at the El Alto La Dolores Restaurante in Guardamar, which have bagged over 2 thousand Euros.

The group is also currently rehearsing a specially written adult pantomime, which will be performed over Christmas with all the profits from ticket sales going to charity. Smile is looking for new members, and so are putting on an informal social evening at Bar Catorce in Benijófar (behind the Ayuntamiento) on Monday October 21st at 7.30pm.

No experience is necessary and if you want to learn more about Smile, then you can E­mail for more details: ­ smilecharitygroup@gmail.com

MONEY CONCERNS

Welcome to the Footwork Dance Fundraiser!

27

Friday, October 11, 2013

STIFF UPPER LIP

IN THE PINK

The strains of Jerusalem and Rule Britannia wafted in the air above Mil Palmeras and El Carmoli recently as Help Murcia Mar Menor staged two “Last Night of the Proms” events. It couldn’t be any easier, as two full houses waved flags and watched a recording of the big Albert Hall finale from September, and then kept their vocal chords at a high level, as the songs continued afterwards. 500 Euros was raised from the two evenings, but fun was really the name of the game!

Pink went Zumba last Sunday as the cancer fund­raising group Maria and the Pink Ladies took park in a 3 hour Zumbathon at Casa Pedrera near San Miguel and Torremendo. Cindy’s Zumba girls put everybody through their paces with the weather pretty much perfect for every­ body to push themselves to the limit! The icing on the cake was over 1600 Euros being raised for the cancer charity, AECC.

TROPHY TIME

SIX OF THE BEST FOR EASY HORSE

The Easy Horse Care Rescue Centre is to open their sixth charity shop, and it’s going to be in their own backyard: ­ well almost! Rojales Council has done a deal with the locally­based group to take a couple of units in the town’s indoor market next to the Town Hall on the banks of the River Segura, with the grand opening set to take place on Monday November 4th.

Centre co­founder, Sue

Whiting said:­“We are going to follow the format that we currently use at our La Siesta shop in Torrevieja which means everything on sale will be for one Euro. We feel this will benefit the local Spanish population espe­ cially, many of whom are suffering because of the economic downturn and appreciate a bargain.”

Rojales Mayor, Antonio Perez Garcia, will carry out the Opening Ceremony.

EASELS AT THE READY

Painters have been working overtime to help the Elche Children’s Home in a special Art Competition at the Quesada Country Club this Thursday (October 17th).

You can have a wander around the Club to view the paintings between 12.30pm and 5.00pm, when the exhibition closes, and the winners will be announced. One of the local artists involved is Glyn Whiting, whose paint­ ing of New Zealand’s Mount Cook is pic­ tured. There’s also a photography section and there’ll be demonstrations all day featur­ ing artists as well as food tastings and a cake/cookery competition.

A raffle for the Children’s Home will be

staged with the Quesada Country Club look­ ing to raise 250 Euros which will mean that they will have hit a thousand Euros in their fund­raising efforts.

WAY IN GOES WAY OUT FOR AECC The ladies of “The Way­in Club” have turned up trumps again for the cancer chari­ ty, AECC. It’s the second year running that the group have held a fund­raising coffee morning and this time round they netted a bumper 653 Euros at Casa Mia, El Chaparral in Torrevieja.

They meet there every Friday morning,

and the special event was boosted by a fine selection of homemade cakes and a raffle, with many local businesses generously donating prizes. AECC's hospital volunteer, Ann Bissett was presented with the fruits of everybody’s labours at the following weekly meeting.

Petanca has proved to be a very popular pastime for many people, and some 8 teams took part in a Torrevieja­ based Summer League. The League winners ended up being Amegos Belgas from San Luis with Rocajuna from Las Barcas taking a keenly contested cup final. Mike Maskery from 'Healthyu' in La Florida donated the all of the trophies for the presentations. Pictured left to right are the captains: ­ John Gage from Pirates Petanca, San Luis; Guy Fernandez from Amigos Belgas; and Hans Karson from Rocajuna.

28

Friday, October 11, 2013

CODE CRACKER Code Cracker is a crossword puzzle with no clues; instead, every letter of the alphabet has been replaced by a number, the same number representing the same letter throughout the puzzle. All you have to do is decide which letter is represented by which number. In this week’s puzzle, 13 represents C and 14 represents K, when these letters have been entered throughout the puzzle, you should have enough information to start guessing words and discovering other letters.

QUICKIE

Across

1 Express approval of (6) 4 Large, tusked marine mammal (6) 8 Stiff (5) 10 Horrify (5) 11 Distributed (5) 12 Concur (5) 13 Hirsute (5) 14 Unpleasant (5) 17 Waistband (4) 19 Young sheep (4) 21 Fragrance (5) 24 Contribution (5) 25 Squander (5) 27 Offence (5) 28 Bloodsucking insect (5) 29 Connections (5) 30 Afraid (6)

31 Rely on (6)

Down

1 Maybe (7) 2 Ire (5) 3 Make unhappy (6) 5 Indifference (6) 6 Imitation (7) 7 Foolish (5) 9 Flexible containers (4) 15 Curved line (3) 16 Brown (3) 18 Cooking utensil (7) 20 Holy (7) 21 Break away (6) 22 Correct (4) 23 Dozen (6) 24 Trades (5) 26 From that time (5)

Last weeks Solution

Across: 1 Made, 4 Fumed, 9 Abstain, 10 Recur, 11 Hanoi, 12 Session, 13 Rapier, 15 Asleep, 19 Startle, 21 Small, 23 Traps, 24 Prairie, 25 Thyme, 26 Need.

Down: 2 Arson, 3 Examine, 4 Finish, 5 Marks, 6 Deceive, 7 Gather, 8 Wren, 14 Peasant, 16 Sustain, 17 Pilfer, 18 People, 19 Site, 20 Tasty, 22 Agree.

Scribble Pad

DOUBLE CROSS-WORD Solve the Double Cross­Word puzzle using either the standard or cryptic clues, the answers are exactly the same.

CRYTPIC CLUES Across 1 Not much of a fall? (4) 4 Papers from government department backing fuel (5) 9 A snake has to stop on the road surface (7) 10 Very subdued letter from Greece to Edward (5) 11 Some doctors always keep this wine in (5) 12 Company money is dis­ tributed for wealth (7) 13 The solution is about me and the end of the comedy (6) 15 Insurgents reveal pressing (6) 19 Get set, Lego can break (7) 21 Compare elk in disguise (5) 23 More uncommon rubles are registered (5) 24 Make cream tea without a fire (7) 25 News agency didn’t reveal the enemy in the garden (5) STANDARD CLUES Across 1 Let fall to the ground (4) 4 Manuscript page (5) 9 Road surface (7) 10 In a softened tone (5) 11 Red Bordeaux wine (5) 12 Thrift (7) 13 Cure (6) 15 Pressing (6) 19 Become gelatinous (7) 21 Compare (5) 23 More elusive (5) 24 Reduce to ashes (7) 25 Plant louse (5) 26 Hop (4)

26 Pass over little captain (4) Down 2 Raid outside Portugal is swift (5) 3 Danced around public relations with an article and some notes (7) 4 More able mechanic (6) 5 Dance in a state of uncertainty (5) 6 Beaten due to no make­ up (7) 7 Tool for one who’s over the top on stage (6) 8 Little Edward’s in a whirl (4) 14 Pitman’s state goddess (7) 16 They help make curls and waves (7) 17 Painful bid (6) 18 The Conservative in tar­ tan is not easily upset (6) 19 Complain about fresh­ water fish (4) 20 World consisting of energy, skill and hydrogen (5) 22 Uniformly brown (5) Down 2 Speedy (5) 3 Strutted about (7) 4 Improved in health (6) 5 State of uncertainty (5) 6 Surpassed (7) 7 Carpenter’s tool (6) 8 Whirlpool (4) 14 Roman goddess of wis­ dom (7) 16 Hair styling spools (7) 17 Sensitive (6) 18 Even­tempered (6) 19 Freshwater fish (4) 20 Third planet from the Sun (5) 22 Yellowish brown colour (5)

Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Alto, 3 Spheres, 7/27 Cop out, 8 Ngaio, 9 Rumba, 10 Boise, 11 Molar, 12 Merge, 13 Anti, 14 Nicks, 16 Inert, 18 Feud, 20 Venom, 22 Lodes, 24 Afire, 25 Preen, 26 Slope, 28 Red hair, 29 Asia.

Down: 1 Agnomen, 2 Trail, 3 Spoilt, 4 Harem, 5 Remorse, 6 Shake, 7 Cobras, 15 Contend, 16 Idlest, 17 Tessera, 19 Editor, 20 Viper, 21 Manna, 23 Doors.

FILL IT IN

Complete the crossword grid by using the given words:

2 letter words He We 3 letter words Ale Can Lea Let Opt Tar Ten Who 4 letter words Afar Aged Alto

Beta Boss Clot Clue East Edge Glob Gnus Host Life Lira Lots Neve Nuts Obit Onto Rare Robe Rods Safe

Save Sees Slat Slot This Thus Urge Urns Weal 5 letter words Abbot Boots Cater Cause Chalk Coops Costa Crazy

Elate Ensky Guess Hails Maize Manes Nadir Petit Pious Refer Salad Slope Soaps Stern Straw Tally Thane Tiger Toils Whole

6 letter words Accuse Cavern Clumsy Grebes Greets Rabies Siesta Swerve 8 letter words Trousers Tsarinas 9 letter words Chameleon Orangeade

SPANISH-ENGLISH CROSSWORD

Improve your Spanish ­ clues in Spanish, answers in English or vice versa.

Across 1 Estrellas (5) 4 Friends (6) 9 Noisy (7) 10 Listo (dispuesto) (5) 11 Sabio (acción, decisión) (4) 12 Gatitos (7) 13 Faiths (3) 14 Other (f) (4) 16 Smell (odour) (4) 18 Hijo (3) 20 Statue (7) 21 Little (not much) (4) 24 Equipos (deporte) (5) 25 Dummy (for baby) (7) 26 Wheels (6)

27 Asientos (muebles) (5) Down 1 Tornillos (6) 2 Goodbye (5) 3 Zapato (4) 5 Maratón (8) 6 Granary (7) 7 El más vergonzoso (6) 8 Libros (5) 13 Ghost (8) 15 Tattoo (7) 17 Carta (al correo) (6) 18 Salsa (5) 19 Torres (6) 22 Ear (anatomical) (5) 23 Jarras (4)

29

Friday, October 11, 2013 Across 8 In classical music, what name is given to a piece of music written for one or more solo instruments and an orchestra? (8) 9 Which 2009 American epic science fiction film written and directed by James Cameron, is set in 2154, when humans are mining a precious mineral called unobtanium on Pandora, a lush moon of a gas giant in the Alpha Centauri star system? (6) 10 Which English ‘psychedel­ ic rock group’, founded in 1965, launched the career of Peter Frampton? (4) 11 What was the name of the record label founded by the Beatles in 1968? (5) 12 Meaning ‘so be it’, what is the last word of the New Testament of The Bible? (4) 13 How many lines does a sonnet usually consist of? (8) 16 What is the surname of the American actress who began her screen career in 1932 at the age of three, and, in 1934, sky­rocketed to superstardom in Bright Eyes? (6) 18 What was the name of the goofy, ugly member of the Bash Street Kids, who later appeared in his own comic?

(4)

20 In the television sitcom Sykes, what was the nick­ name of PC Wilfred Turnbull, played by Deryck Guyler? (5) 21 Which double reed musi­ cal instrument of the wood­ wind family was formerly known as a hautbois or hoboy? (4) 22 Which first name links singers Estefan and Gaynor?

(6) 23 What is the title of the BBC quiz programme that pits a team of five highly regarded quiz and game show champi­ ons against a series of ‘chal­ lengers’? (8) 26 What name is often used to describe a woman of out­ standing talent in the world of opera, and by extension in theatre, cinema and popular music? (4) 28 Which 1928 play by Michael Morton was based on the Agatha Christie novel The Murder of Roger Ackroyd? (5) 30 Mellow Gold, Odelay and Modern Guilt were all hit albums recorded by which American musician, singer­ songwriter, and multi­instru­ mentalist? (4) 31 Which rock band’s album titles included Outlandos d’Amour, Reggatta de Blanc and Zenyattà Mondatta? (6)

SUDOKU (Hard)

Quiz Word

32 According to Edward Lear’s nonsense poem The Owl and the Pussycat, what was the colour of the beautiful boat that the characters went

to sea in? (3­5)

Down 1 Which Spanish dance in triple time accompanied by

guitar and castanets shares its name with a short jacket?

(6) 2 What is the name of the sub­genre of house music that emphasises a repetitive, hypnotic and trance­like style, often with samples or spoken lines rather than sung lyrics?

(4) 3 Danny Zuko and Sandy Olsson were the principal characters in which 1978 musical film? (6) 4 Television drama series about the daily lives and problems of a group of people who live in a particular place are often referred to as (what) operas? (4) 5 Which 1971 multi­million selling album by singer­song­ writer Carole King features the songs It’s Too Late, You’ve Got a Friend and (You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman? (8) 6 Recording artist Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta is better known as Lady (Who)? (4) 7 What was the title of Abba song that won the 1974 Eurovision Song Contest? (8) 14/17 Which actor played James Bond in Live and Let Die, The Man with the Golden Gun, The Spy Who Loved

Me, Moonraker, For Your Eyes Only, Octopussy and A View to a Kill? (5,5) 15 The second in the Carry On series of films, released in 1959, was entitled Carry On (What)? (5) 17 See 14 19 According to her 1964 hit single, what was the name of Millie’s My Boy? (8) 20 The game show Give Us a Clue was a televised version of which word guessing game? (8) 24 With which musical instru­ ment would you principally associate Eric Clapton and Chet Atkins? (6) 25 In the US this type of work­ er is referred to as a long­ shoreman, what he be known as in the UK? (6) 27 In music, what name is given to an elaborate song for solo voice? (4) 29 Which 2009 comedy film consisting of numerous sketches and parodies, starred Linda Blair as Jamie, Colleen Camp as Young Lady, Julia Duffy as Marjorie and Erika Eleniak as Brook?

(4) 30 Voiced by actress Nancy Cartwright, what is the first name of Homer and Marge Simpson’s son? (4)

SALLY’S SIMPLE SPANISH

EL BAÑO ­THE BATHROOM Match these words with their Spanish translations then find them in the wordsearch.

(Answers below)

literature QUIZ

ANSEWRS: 1. St. Petersburg 2. Patrick White 3. Archaeologist 4. He is the wizard of Oz. 5. Camels 6. M (Bond films) 7. Trees 8.

The demigod Promethus 9. Youth 10. Akala 11. Great Expectations 12. Robert Redford 13. Fur, they change to glass in 1600s

Last Week’s Solutions Code Cracker Last weeks Quiz Word Solution Across: 1 Tich, 3 Beeb, 6 Tacit, 10 Minstrels, 11 Yeats, 12 Sparrow, 13 Outlaws, 14 Oval, 16 Pincer, 18/25D Rio Bravo, 21 Eat, 22 Answer, 23 Aled, 25 Burbank, 29 Agave, 30 Vancouver, 31 Ochre, 32 Neon, 33 Kris.

Down: 1 Tombstone, 2 Conga, 4 Edelweiss, 5 Basso, 6 Toy Story, 7 Chaparral, 8 Tusks, 9 Starr, 15 Aftermath, 17 Crescendo, 19 Order arms, 20 Japanese, 24 Ascot, 26/27 Kevin Costner, 28 Never.

el lavamanos

el champú

la bañera

el cortinero

la cortina

el desagüe

la cuchilla

el excusado

la ducha

el gel de baño

la esponja

el gorro de baño

la jabonera

el grifo

la toalla

el jabón Empareja estas palabras ­ Match the Spanish and English words You will find the answers at the bottom of the quiz.

1.el botiquín, 2.el champú,

15.la esponja, 16.la jabonera,

j.the soap dish, k.the curtain rail,

3.el cortinero, 4.el desagüe,

17.la toalla.

l.the sponge, m.the bath, n.the razor, o.the wash basin,

5.el excusado, 6.el gel de baño, 7.el gorro de baño, 8.el grifo,

a.the tap, b.the toilet, c.shower

9.el jabón, 10.el lavamanos,

gel, d.the shower, e.the towel,

11.la bañera, 12.la cortina,

f.the first aid kit, g.the drain,

13.la cuchilla, 14.la ducha,

h.the bath cap, i.the shampoo,

Soduko

Span ­ Eng

Quizword

p.the soap, q.the shower curtain Answers: 1f, 2i, 3k, 4g, 5b, 6c, 7h, 8a, 9p, 10o, 11m, 12q, 13n, 14d, 15l, 16j, 17e.

1. In which village do Tom Sawer and Huckleberry Finn live?

2. Which Australian writer won the Nobel prize in 1973?

3. What did Agatha Christie's husband do for a living?

4. Who is Oscar Zoroaster Phadrig Isaac Norman Henkle Emmannuel Ambroise Diggs?

5. The French Laurousse Gastronomique contains 9 recopies for cooking what?

6. What is Admiral Sir Miles Messervy usually known as?

7. In Greek mythology a Hamadryads Spirit guarded what?

8. In Greek mythology who created man?

9. What was Hebe the goddess of?

10. Who was the leader of the wolf pack in 'The Jungle Book'?

11. Bentlet Drummle appears in which Dicken's novel?

12. Which actor wrote the book 'The Outlaw Trail'?

13. What were Cinderella's slippers originally made from?

el botiquín

Fill It In

30

Friday, October 11, 2013

TRELI ON THE TELLY

BY NO MEANS FAIR the Time Lord? It’s a poor effort, whilst satellite channel Watch is going to offer a whole season of classic sto­ ries with all the Doctors. I wonder if it’s just a case of the BBC being unable to afford the repeat fees?

with ALEX TRELINSKI Tony Jordan was easily the best writer that Eastenders had and he wrote the famous single­handed Dot Branning episode as well creating the Slater clan.

He then went on to come up with the very entertaining Hustle and his BBC reward for excellence and loyalty is to have his new project put slap bang on the BBC 1 schedule against Downton Abbey on a Sunday night!

That’s a shame because By Any Means is a really good watch and is a natural suc­ cessor to Hustle. The show is about a trio of undercover operatives that put away baddies that the cops can’t, and has all the Hustle trade­ marks of humour, slickness, and surprises. We’re not quite sure whether they are police or just low grade spe­ cial ops, but I do recommend you to give it a try, even

q

though we are halfway through the series. Over the scheduling, I’m not saying that channels like BBC1 should put on a blank screen when Downton is on (not everybody “By Any Means” is a fan), but you should give a new drama a sporting chance in the ratings by

showing it on another night and putting on a repeat instead. I really do hope the BBC stick with By Any Means for a second series because it is good enough to have as long a life as Hustle did.

anniversary of Doctor Who, yet we are virtually getting no repeats of classic episodes?

Yes, the first ever story will be shown, but I’d have pre­ ferred the first appearance of the Daleks to be screened on BBC Four, and what about Isn’t it strange that the picking some tales featuring BBC is making such a the various incarnations of fuss of next month’s 50th

q

I get a bit bored of Michael Parkinson moaning and groaning about the state of British TV these days. Things have moved on since his early era, and main­ ly for the better I should add.

I’m a Parky fan, but when he says that there are no seri­ ous talk shows on TV, I do have to say that his last few years on a Saturday night were somewhat lacklustre with guests mainly popping up to plug their latest book, movie, or CD. There are good programmes about, which offer direct questioning like Piers Morgan’s Life Stories on ITV, which has featured belting interviews with the likes of Julie Goodyear and Gloria Hunniford. Mark Lawson also does an excellent occasional

run of hour­long chats on BBC Four with people from the world of arts and enter­ tainment, including a terrific hour last Sunday with Bob Geldof. So, much as Parky thinks it is, the TV talk cup­ board is not bare.

q

For those of you who have Sky Arts, can I strongly recommend their lat­ est Spanish purchase, Isabel, which is screened here on TVE’s La 1. The story of the young queen of Castile hit the ground run­ ning with the first couple of episodes and there was “mucho dinero” spent on this and it shows. There’s tons of intrigue, plus bedroom (and even corridor) activity to boot! It’s as good as The Tudors or The Borgias. But why do so many Spanish TV dramas have the ridiculous concept of running a stream of closing credits on the left side of the screen whilst the right side has a potted ver­ sion of the next episode giv­ ing everything away?

The Courier Friday TV 00:35 01:20 01:25 07:00 10:15 11:00 12:00 12:45 13:15 14:00 14:30 14:45 15:15 15:45 16:15 17:00 17:30 Mouth 18:15 19:00 19:30 20:00 20:30 21:00 21:30 22:00 22:30 23:00 23:25 23:35

This Week Holiday Weatherview BBC News Breakfast Fake Britain Homes Under the Hammer Real Rescues Claimed and Shamed Bargain Hunt BBC News; Weather Regional News and Weather Doctors Keeping Up Appearances Keeping Up Appearances Perfection Escape to the Country Put Your Money Where Your Is Pointless BBC News BBC London News The One Show Ronnie's Animal Crackers EastEnders Miranda Have I Got News for You Citizen Khan BBC News National Lottery Update The Graham Norton Show

00:20 01:20 01:50 02:50

This World Panorama This Is BBC Two Formula 1

04:40 This Is BBC Two 04:55 Schools 06:55 Formula 1 08:35 The A to Z of TV Gardening 09:00 Natural World 10:00 Flog It! Trade Secrets 11:00 Question Time 12:00 BBC News 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Mastermind 14:30 Weakest Link 15:15 Great British Menu 15:45 Floyd on Food 16:15 Are You Being Served?

16:45 'Allo 'Allo!

17:15 Cagney & Lacey 18:00 Flog It! 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Strictly Come Dancing ­ It Takes Two 20:00 Dig WW2 with Dan Snow 21:00 Mastermind 21:30 Gardeners' World 22:00 Natural World 23:00 QI 23:30 Newsnight

01:15 Murder, She Wrote" 02:05 Jackpot247 04:00 Tonight 04:25 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV News Meridian 15:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Live International Football 23:10 ITV News and Weather 23:40 ITV News Meridian 23:45 International Football Highlights

HENS BEHAVING BADLY First of a two­part documentary following groups of women as they celebrate their friends' last nights as singletons with crazy and chaotic hen parties, and examining how a £250million industry has emerged to meet demand. In Nottingham, wild child Emily does her best to resist temptation dur­ ing her final bash as a free woman ­ with or without the help of her chief bridesmaid. Plus, a male strip­ per offers an insight into his experiences.

00:55 Random Acts 01:00 Sex Box 02:00 Embarrassing Bodies: Live from the Clinic 02:55 SuperScrimpers 03:10 Inside Nature's Giants 04:05 Unreported World 04:30 SuperScrimpers 05:25 Deal or No Deal 06:20 SuperScrimpers 06:25 Countdown 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 According to Jim 08:25 Will & Grace 08:55 Frasier 09:55 Everybody Loves Raymond 11:00 Four Rooms 12:00 A Place in the Sun: Home or Away 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 River Cottage 14:05 The Bedford Incident 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Four in a Bed 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:30 Unreported World 20:55 Sex Box 21:00 Marvel's Agents of SHIELD 22:00 8 Out of 10 Cats 22:50 Alan Carr: Chatty Man 23:50 Was It Something I Said?

October 11

00:55 Inside Hollywood 01:00 SuperCasino 05:00 Nick's Quest 05:25 Michaela's Wild Challenge 05:50 House Doctor 06:10 Wildlife SOS 06:35 Wildlife SOS 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:25 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Big School 08:00 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 09:05 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Cowboy Builders 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Robson's Extreme Fishing Challenge 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 The Mentalist 16:15 McBride: Dogged 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 NewsTalk Live 20:00 World's Strongest Man 21:00 Extraordinary People 22:00 Hens Behaving Badly 23:00 Celebrity Wedding Planner

31

The Courier Saturday TV

October 12

00:20 Bluestone 42 00:50 Presumed Innocent 02:55 Weatherview 03:00 BBC News 06:00 Formula 1 08:30 Breakfast 11:00 Saturday Kitchen Live 12:30 Paul Hollywood's Bread 13:00 Football Focus 13:45 Sportsday 14:00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 14:20 Formula 1 15:35 MotoGP 16:35 Ronnie's Animal Crackers 17:05 Ronnie's Animal Crackers 17:35 Escape to the Country 18:20 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 18:40 Pointless Celebrities 19:30 Strictly Come Dancing 21:30 Atlantis 22:15 The National Lottery Live 22:25 Casualty 23:15 BBC News; Weather 23:35 The Rolling Stones Return to Hyde Park: Sweet Summer Sun

00:00 Weather 00:05 Later with Jools Holland 01:10 Close Up, Manic Street Preachers 02:00 Question Time 03:00 This Is BBC Two

03:55 Formula 1 05:05 This Is BBC Two 07:00 This Is BBC Two 07:55 Lady of Deceit 09:25 Two Way Stretch 10:50 The Sky at Night 11:10 Reel History of Britain 11:40 The Life of Birds 12:30 Fred Dibnah's Industrial Age 13:00 The A to Z of TV Cooking 13:45 Talking Pictures 14:35 Astaire and Rogers Sing the Great American Songbook 15:05 Carefree 16:30 South Pacific 17:30 Urban Jungle 18:00 Flog It! 19:00 Robert Peston Goes Shopping 20:00 Count Arthur Strong 20:30 Natural World 21:30 Dad's Army 22:00 The 70s 23:00 The Sarah Millican Slightly Longer Television Programme 23:40 Glorious 39

00:45 River Monsters 01:10 Jackpot247 04:00 Columbo: Now You See Him 06:00 ITV Nightscreen 07:00 Babar and the Adventures of Badou 07:10 Matt Hatter Chronicles 07:35 Dino Dan 08:00 Canimals 08:25 Sooty 08:35 Horrid Henry 08:50 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 09:15 Bottom Knocker Street 09:30 Munch Box 10:25 Saturday Cookbook 11:25 Murder, She Wrote 12:25 ITV News and Weather 12:29 ITV Meridian Weather 12:30 Surprise Surprise 13:35 The Dales 14:00 Doc Martin 15:00 The X Factor 16:50 Horrid Henry: the Movie 18:35 ITV Meridian Weather 18:45 ITV News and Weather 19:00 New You've Been Framed!

19:30 Fool Britannia 20:00 The Chase 21:00 The X Factor 23:15 The Jonathan Ross Show

00:40 London Irish 01:15 Away We Go 02:50 Random Acts 02:55 The Big C 03:20 The Ricky Gervais Show 03:50 2 Broke Girls 04:35 SuperScrimpers 05:30 Deal or No Deal 06:15 SuperScrimpers 06:25 Countdown 07:10 British GT Championship 07:35 FIM Superbike World Championship 08:05 XTERRA Triathlon 09:00 The Morning Line 10:00 The American Football Show 11:00 Frasier 11:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 12:00 The Big Bang Theory 13:00 The Simpsons 13:30 Undercover Boss USA 14:30 Channel 4 Racing 17:10 Come Dine with Me 19:40 Channel 4 News 20:00 Marvel's Agents of SHIELD 21:00 Grand Designs 22:00 The Adjustment Bureau

THE ADJUSTMENT BUREAU Romantic sci­fi drama starring Emily Blunt and Matt Damon. A seemingly random series of events brings ambitious politician David Norris together with ballet dancer Elise Sellas, with whom he falls in love. But was their meeting down to chance, and are there now supernatural forces conspiring to keep them apart?

00:00 Piranha 01:35 SuperCasino 05:00 Motorsport Mundial 05:25 Michaela's Wild Challenge 05:50 House Doctor 06:10 Wildlife SOS 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Fifi and the Flowertots 07:25 Bubble Guppies 07:35 The Mr Men Show 07:50 Chloe's Closet 08:00 Roobarb and Custard Too 08:10 Bananas in Pyjamas 08:25 Make Way for Noddy 08:40 City of Friends 08:55 Little Princess 09:10 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:25 Angelina Ballerina 09:45 Mio Mao 09:50 Milkshake! Monkey 10:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:15 Toby's Travelling Circus 10:25 Roary the Racing Car 10:40 Jelly Jamm 11:00 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 11:10 Power Rangers: Megaforce 11:40 Slugterra 12:05 The Dog Rescuers 12:35 Animal Maternity 13:35 Columbo: Dead Weight 15:10 Mosquito Squadron 17:00 Battle of Britain 19:30 Lost Heroes of World War One 20:00 WW1's Tunnels of Death: The Big Dig 21:00 War Hero in My Family 21:55 5 News Weekend 22:00 A Fistful of Dollars

The Courier Sunday TV

October 13

07:05 Great Day 08:25 Gardeners' World 00:50 The Man without a Face 02:40 Weatherview 02:45 BBC News 07:00 Formula 1 10:15 The Andrew Marr Show 11:15 Sunday Morning Live 12:15 Sunday Politics 13:30 Escape to the Country 14:00 BBC News 14:10 Weather for the Week Ahead 14:15 Bargain Hunt 15:00 Formula 1 17:00 Points of View 17:15 Songs of Praise 17:50 The Great British Year 18:50 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 19:20 Countryfile 20:20 Strictly Come Dancing 21:00 Antiques Roadshow 22:00 By Any Means 23:00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 23:25 Armageddon

01:45 X the Unknown 03:00 This Is BBC Two 07:00 This Is BBC Two

08:55 The Beechgrove Garden 09:25 Live MotoGP 11:00 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites 12:30 What to Eat Now 13:00 What to Eat Now 13:30 MotoGP 15:05 EastEnders 17:00 The House That £100K Built 18:00 Flog It! 19:00 Great British Railway Journeys 19:30 The Great British Bake Off 20:30 The Ginge, the Geordie and the Geek 21:00 How to Build 22:00 The Ottomans: Europe's Muslim Emperors 23:00 The Wrong Mans 23:30 QI XL

00:20 ITV News and Weather 00:34 ITV Meridian Weather 00:35 The Eiger Sanction 02:45 Jackpot247 04:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 04:45 ITV Nightscreen 07:00 Babar and the Adventures of Badou 07:10 Matt Hatter Chronicles 07:35 Dino Dan 08:00 Canimals 08:25 Sooty 08:35 Horrid Henry 09:00 Almost Naked Animals 09:15 Bottom Knocker Street 09:30 Fish Hooks 10:00 Big Time Rush 10:25 ITV News 10:30 Ade in Britain 11:30 Columbo: Negative Reaction 13:30 ITV News and Weather 13:39 ITV Meridian Weather 13:40 Inside the National Trust 14:45 The X Factor 17:00 Fool Britannia 17:25 Big Star's Little Star 18:30 Downton Abbey 19:35 ITV News Meridian 19:35 ITV Meridian Weather 19:45 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Coronation Street 21:00 The X Factor 22:00 Downton Abbey 23:05 ITV News and Weather 23:19 ITV Meridian Weather 23:20 Senna

ARMAGEDDON Science­fiction action adventure starring Bruce Willis. When a giant asteroid threatens Earth's sur­ vival, Nasa hatches a plan to drill into the rock and plant a nuclear device that will blow it apart. With time running out, the task of saving mankind falls to ace oil man Harry S Stamper and his band of unlikely heroes.

00:05 01:55 04:00 06:05 07:00 07:10 07:35 08:30 09:30 10:00 10:30 13:30 14:00 14:30 15:00 15:30 17:40 19:30 20:00 21:00 Home 22:00 23:00 23:35

The Hole 13 Assassins Hollyoaks Deal or No Deal The Treacle People The Hoobs The American Football Show Triathlon Everybody Loves Raymond Frasier Sunday Brunch The Big Bang Theory The Big Bang Theory The Simpsons The Simpsons Mighty Joe Young Furry Vengeance Channel 4 News World's Weirdest Weather Kevin McCloud's Man Made Homeland Was It Something I Said?

Alan Carr: Chatty Man

00:05 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 01:00 SuperCasino 05:00 Michaela's Wild Challenge 05:25 Make It Big 05:50 Roary the Racing Car 06:00 Angels of Jarm 06:10 Hana's Helpline 06:20 Angels of Jarm 06:25 The Funky Valley Show 06:40 Roary the Racing Car 06:50 Hana's Helpline 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Fifi and the Flowertots 07:25 Bubble Guppies 07:40 The Mr Men Show 07:50 Chloe's Closet 08:00 Roobarb and Custard Too 08:10 Bananas in Pyjamas 08:25 Make Way for Noddy 08:40 City of Friends 08:50 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 08:55 Little Princess 09:10 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:25 Angelina Ballerina 09:45 Mio Mao 09:50 Milkshake! Monkey 10:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:15 Toby's Travelling Circus 10:30 Roary the Racing Car 10:45 Jelly Jamm 11:00 Power Rangers: Super Samurai 11:30 Slugterra 12:00 Jungle Babies: Tarsier Tails 12:30 Superman II 14:55 Mannequin 16:40 Hercules 18:35 Superman III 20:55 5 News Weekend 21:00 The True Story 22:00 Angels & Demons

32

The Courier Monday TV

October 14

01:45 Weatherview 01:50 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Fake Britain 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Real Rescues 12:45 Britain's Empty Homes 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Keeping Up Appearances 16:15 Perfection 17:00 Escape to the Country 17:30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 BBC News; Regional News 20:30 Inside Out 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 Panorama 22:00 Crimewatch 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 Crimewatch Update 23:45 Have I Got a Bit More News for You

00:15 00:45 01:15 02:55 03:50 04:50 07:00

Never Mind the Buzzcocks Mock the Week Awaydays Countryfile Holby City This Is BBC Two This Is BBC Two

07:05 Homes Under the Hammer 08:05 Real Rescues 08:50 Claimed and Shamed 09:20 Wanted Down Under 10:05 Watchdog 11:05 James Martin's Food Map of Britain 11:35 Click 12:00 BBC News 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Mastermind 14:30 Weakest Link 15:15 Great British Menu 15:45 Floyd on Food 16:15 Are You Being Served?

16:45 'Allo 'Allo!

17:15 Cagney & Lacey 18:00 Flog It! 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Strictly Come Dancing ­ It Takes Two 20:00 Rick Stein's India 21:00 University Challenge 21:30 Tom Kerridge's Proper Pub Food 22:00 Stephen Fry: Out There 23:00 Never Mind the Buzzcocks 23:30 Weather

01:20 The Store 03:25 British Superbike Championship Highlights 04:15 Motorsport UK 05:05 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV News Meridian 15:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Countrywise 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Doc Martin 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV News Meridian 23:35 The Agenda

00:40 Gogglebox 01:25 Paddy's TV Guide 02:10 American Football Live 05:45 British GT Championship 06:15 Countdown 06:55 River Cottage Bites 07:10 The Hoobs 08:05 According to Jim 08:30 Will & Grace 08:55 Frasier 09:55 Everybody Loves Raymond 11:00 Four Rooms 12:00 A Place in the Sun: Home or Away 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Gordon Ramsay's Home Cooking 13:35 River Cottage Bites 13:50 Shane 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Four in a Bed 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 Sex Box 21:00 Dogs: Their Secret Lives 22:00 999: What's Your Emergency?

23:00 Diary of a Teenage Virgin

DIARY OF A TEENAGE VIRGIN Young people provide a candid insight into how it feels to be a virgin at a time when social networking and easily accessible pornography have trans­ formed the sexual landscape. They include a 15­ year­old girl considering sleeping with a boy she met online, a 16­year­old who believes she's the old­ est virgin in Sunderland, and a 17­year­old who has amassed a huge collection of adult material on his

00:45 Vantage Point 02:35 SuperCasino 04:55 Michaela's Wild Challenge 05:20 Make It Big 05:50 Roary the Racing Car 06:00 Angels of Jarm 06:05 Hana's Helpline 06:20 Angels of Jarm 06:25 The Funky Valley Show 06:40 Roary the Racing Car 06:50 Hana's Helpline 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Big School 08:00 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:20 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Cowboy Builders 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Beat the Ancestors 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:20 Castle 16:15 Torn Apart 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 NewsTalk Live 20:00 Beat the Ancestors 21:00 The Gadget Show 22:00 On Benefits & Proud 23:00 Under the Dome

The Courier Tuesday TV

October 15

00:30 01:00 01:45 01:50 07:00 10:15 11:00 12:00 12:45 13:15 14:00 14:30 14:45 15:15 16:15 17:00 17:30 Mouth 18:15 19:00 19:30 20:00 20:30 21:00 22:00 23:00 23:25 23:35

Citizen Khan The Graham Norton Show Weatherview BBC News Breakfast Fake Britain Homes Under the Hammer Real Rescues Britain's Empty Homes Bargain Hunt BBC News; Weather Regional News and Weather Doctors Keeping Up Appearances Perfection Escape to the Country Put Your Money Where Your Is Pointless BBC News BBC London News The One Show EastEnders Holby City DIY SOS BBC News National Lottery Update The Prison Restaurant

00:20 The Ottomans: Europe's Muslim Emperors 01:20 The Culture Show 01:50 The Story of the Jews 02:50 This Is BBC Two 05:00 Schools ­ The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night­time: From Page to Stage 06:00 Schools

07:00 This Is BBC Two 07:05 Homes Under the Hammer 08:05 Real Rescues 08:50 Britain's Empty Homes 09:20 Wanted Down Under 10:05 Ultimate Swarms 11:05 James Martin's Food Map of Britain 11:35 HARDtalk 12:00 BBC News 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Mastermind 14:30 Weakest Link 15:15 Great British Menu 15:45 Floyd on Fish 16:15 Are You Being Served?

16:45 'Allo 'Allo!

17:15 Cagney & Lacey 18:00 Flog It! 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Strictly Come Dancing ­ It Takes Two 20:00 Rick Stein's India 21:00 The Great British Bake Off 22:00 The Wrong Mans 22:30 The Sarah Millican Television Programme 23:00 Later Live ­ with Jools Holland 23:30 Newsnight

00:05 01:05 04:00 04:25 06:05 07:00 09:30 10:25 11:30 13:30 14:30 14:55 15:00 16:00 16:59 17:00 18:00 19:00 19:30 20:00 20:30 23:25 23:50

Piers Morgan's Life Stories Jackpot247 Champions League Weekly ITV Nightscreen The Jeremy Kyle Show Daybreak Lorraine The Jeremy Kyle Show This Morning Loose Women ITV News and Weather ITV News Meridian Dickinson's Real Deal The Alan Titchmarsh Show ITV Meridian Weather Tipping Point The Chase ITV News Meridian ITV News and Weather Emmerdale Live International Football ITV News and Weather ITV News Meridian

THE GREAT BRITISH BAKE-OFF The four semi­finalists face three French chal­ lenges, beginning by preparing three types of savoury canapes in just two­and­a­half hours. In the technical challenge they each have to make a Charlotte Royale, a dessert made with Swiss roll and creme bavaroise, before the showstopper round sees them bake opera cakes, which consist of layers of almond sponge with coffee butter­ cream filling and a chocolate topping. Mel Giedroyc and Sue Perkins present.

00:05 Educating Yorkshire 01:05 First Time Farmers 02:00 Random Acts 02:05 Diamond Queen 04:25 Nashville 05:05 Deal or No Deal 06:00 Countdown 06:45 Baking Mad with Eric Lanlard 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 According to Jim 08:30 Will & Grace 08:55 Frasier 10:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 11:00 Four Rooms 12:00 A Place in the Sun: Home or Away 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Gordon Ramsay's Home Cooking 13:35 River Cottage Bites 13:50 Earthquake 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Four in a Bed 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 Sex Box 21:00 Double Your House for Half the Money 22:00 Masters of Sex 23:10 London Irish 23:40 8 Out of 10 Cats

00:00 Constantine 02:10 SuperCasino 04:55 Nick's Quest 05:20 Michaela's Wild Challenge 05:45 House Doctor 06:10 Divine Designs 06:35 Wildlife SOS 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Big School 08:00 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:20 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Cowboy Builders 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Animal Maternity 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 Law & Order: Criminal Intent 16:10 Let Me Call You Sweetheart 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 NewsTalk Live 20:00 Jungle Babies: Tarsier Tails 20:30 The Dog Rescuers 21:00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 22:00 CSI: NY 23:00 Castle 23:55 Body of Proof

33

The Courier Wednesday TV

October 16

00:25 02:10 02:15 07:00 10:15 11:00 12:00 12:45 13:15 14:00 14:30 14:45 15:15 16:15 17:00 17:30 Mouth 18:15 19:00 19:30 19:30 20:00 21:00 22:00 23:00 23:25 23:35

00:20 01:20 Up 02:20 04:50 05:00

The Girl in the Park Weatherview BBC News Breakfast Fake Britain Homes Under the Hammer Real Rescues Britain's Empty Homes Bargain Hunt BBC News; Weather Regional News and Weather Doctors Keeping Up Appearances Perfection Escape to the Country Put Your Money Where Your Is Pointless BBC News Weather BBC London News The One Show Watchdog The Great British Year BBC News Regional News and Weather Father Figure

Stephen Fry: Out There Mum and Dad Are Splitting This Is BBC Two Growing Up Poor Growing Up Poor

05:30 Schools ­ Coping 06:00 Schools ­ Same but Different 07:00 Homes Under the Hammer 08:00 Real Rescues 08:45 Britain's Empty Homes 09:15 Wanted Down Under 10:00 Natural World 11:00 Plan It, Build It 11:30 See Hear 12:00 BBC News 12:30 Daily Politics 14:00 Mastermind 14:30 Weakest Link 15:15 Great British Menu 15:45 Floyd on Fish 16:15 Are You Being Served?

16:45 'Allo 'Allo!

17:20 Cagney & Lacey 18:05 Flog It! 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Strictly Come Dancing ­ It Takes Two 20:00 Rick Stein's India 21:00 The House That £100K Built 22:00 Stephen Fry: Out There 23:00 The Culture Show 23:30 Newsnight

00:00 International Football Highlights 01:00 Jackpot247 04:00 Loose Women 04:45 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV News Meridian 15:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 21:00 Coronation Street 22:00 The One and Only Cilla Black 23:30 ITV News and Weather 23:55 ITV Meridian Weather

THE ONE AND ONLY CILLA BLACK

00:30 The Simpsons 01:25 Random Acts 01:30 Poker 02:30 KOTV Boxing Weekly 02:55 Beach Volleyball 03:50 FIM Superbike World Championship 04:20 XTERRA Triathlon 05:15 Triathlon 06:10 Brief Encounters of the Sporting Mind 06:15 Deal or No Deal 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 According to Jim 08:30 Will & Grace 08:55 Frasier 10:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 11:00 Four Rooms 12:00 A Place in the Sun: Home or Away 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Gordon Ramsay's Home Cooking 13:35 River Cottage Bites 13:45 Chariots of Fire 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Four in a Bed 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 River Cottage 22:00 Grand Designs 23:00 Gogglebox 23:45 My Tattoo Addiction

Paul O'Grady hosts an evening celebrating the all­round entertainer's 50 years in showbiz, from performances in her home city of Liverpool alongside the Beatles, to best­selling success in the music industry and a long career as a much­ loved TV presenter. Cilla brings back Blind Date for a one­off special featuring some of its most memorable contestants.

00:55 Law & Order: Criminal Intent 01:40 True Crimes: The First 72 Hours 02:10 SuperCasino 04:55 Nick's Quest 05:20 Michaela's Wild Challenge 05:45 House Doctor 06:10 Divine Designs 06:35 Wildlife SOS 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Big School 08:00 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:20 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Cowboy Builders 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 The Railway: First Great Western 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 CSI: NY 16:05 The Long Shot 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 NewsTalk Live 20:00 Robson's Extreme Fishing Challenge 21:00 Animal Maternity 22:00 When Gastric Bands Go Wrong 23:00 Wentworth Prison

The Courier Thursday TV

October 17

00:05 00:45 02:35 02:40 07:00 10:15 11:00 12:00 12:45 13:15 14:00 14:30 14:45 15:15 16:15 17:00 17:30 Mouth 18:15 19:00 19:30 20:00 20:30 21:00 22:00 23:00 23:25 23:35

Room 101 ­ Extra Storage No Way Out Weatherview BBC News Breakfast Fake Britain Homes Under the Hammer Real Rescues Britain's Empty Homes Bargain Hunt BBC News; Weather Regional News and Weather Doctors Keeping Up Appearances Perfection Escape to the Country Put Your Money Where Your Is Pointless BBC News Weather The One Show EastEnders Waterloo Road Truckers BBC News Regional News and Weather Question Time

00:20 David Attenborough's Rise of Animals: Triumph of the Vertebrates 01:20 See Hear 01:50 Panorama 02:35 This Is BBC Two 05:00 Schools ­ Welcome to the World 05:30 Schools: Children at Work ­ Cocoa 05:55 Schools ­ True Stories

06:55 Schools ­ Wonders of Nature: Polar Bear ­ Mother and Baby 07:00 This Is BBC Two 07:05 Homes Under the Hammer 08:05 Real Rescues 08:50 Britain's Empty Homes 09:20 Wanted Down Under 10:05 Robert Peston Goes Shopping 11:05 Plan It, Build It 11:35 HARDtalk 12:00 BBC News 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Mastermind 14:30 Weakest Link 15:15 Great British Menu 15:45 Floyd on Fish 16:15 Are You Being Served?

16:45 'Allo 'Allo!

17:15 Cagney & Lacey 18:00 Flog It! 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Strictly Come Dancing ­ It Takes Two 20:00 Rick Stein's India 21:00 Trust Me I'm a Doctor 22:00 Peaky Blinders 23:00 Mock the Week ­ Again 23:30 Weather

00:05 Exposure 01:05 Jackpot247 04:00 British Touring Car Championship 05:10 ITV Nightscreen 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV News Meridian 15:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Tonight 21:00 Emmerdale 21:30 Britain's Secret Treasures 22:00 Breathless 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV News Meridian 23:30 ITV Meridian Weather 23:35 The Jonathan Ross Show

BREATHLESS Elizabeth receives a chilling visit from Chief Inspector Mulligan, who reveals he has informa­ tion that could turn her life upside down.

Meanwhile, Otto continues to fuel his obsession with Angela by paying her a visit, and while the pair find it increasingly difficult to deny their attraction to each other, the idea of getting involved with a married man makes her uncom­ fortable.

00:35 Don't Blame Facebook 01:35 Random Acts 01:40 Devdas 03:50 The Red Pony 05:20 SuperScrimpers 06:15 Deal or No Deal 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 According to Jim 08:30 Will & Grace 08:55 Frasier 09:25 Frasier 09:55 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 11:00 Four Rooms 12:00 A Place in the Sun: Home or Away 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Gordon Ramsay's Home Cooking 13:35 Jamie's 15 Minute Meals 14:05 River Cottage Bites 14:10 Damn the Defiant!

16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Four in a Bed 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 Location, Location, Location 22:00 Educating Yorkshire 23:00 Up All Night

00:00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 00:55 Inside Hollywood 01:00 Poker 01:55 SuperCasino 04:55 Nick's Quest 05:20 Michaela's Wild Challenge 05:45 House Doctor 06:10 Divine Designs 06:35 Wildlife SOS 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Olly the Little White Van 07:55 Little Princess 08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Cowboy Builders 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Robson's Extreme Fishing Challenge 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 Ring of Fire 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 NewsTalk Live 20:00 Police Interceptors 21:00 The Railway: First Great Western 22:00 Countdown to Murder 23:00 Law & Order: Criminal Intent

34

Friday, October 11, 2013

AUCTIONS

ACCOUNTANTS Pro Business Support – for all your accountancy needs in English; book­ keeping, taxes, wage slips and more. We cater for companies and self­ employed people; we can deal with everything for you. Call us on 966 923 963 for first consultation free of charge.

ANIMALS Pet Travel UK family pet transporters Spain/UK. Travel with your pets for free. All air conditioned vehicles (no vans) www.pettraveluk.co.uk UK 0800 612 4922 or Spain 960130537 (141)

BOATS FOR SALE GC15: 16m Guy Couach motor cruiser, 3 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms,

AIR CONDITIONING

kitchen, lounge/dining area, and flybridge. 2 x Mercedes 350kw diesel motors. 56000€. Call 966 923 963 or 651 885 200 A57: Rare Vintage 1957 Astondoa Classic Wooden motor launch, 10 m with Perkins diesel engine. All in working order. Needs TLC and re­ varnish, great project, 6000€. Call 966 923 963 or 651 885 200 .

CHURCH SERVICES International Christian Assembly, Calle Pilar de Horadada 5, Torrevieja.

Evangelical non­denomi­ national church. Sunday services 11am.

Children's church 11am.

House groups in Torrevieja, Los Balcones, San Javier. Ladies meet­ ing Thursdays 11am.

Craft club, Tuesdays, 2pm.

Pastor, Rafael Restrepo. All nationalities welcome. Call 966 799 273 or 660 127 276.

Pilar Christian Community Church Calle Canalejas 3. Pilar de la Horadada.

Sunday Service at 11am, and Thursday at 5pm for Bible study and Prayer.

Home groups meet dur­

CATERING

ing the week. All wel­ come from any church background or none. For further information con­ tact PilarChristian.

CommunityChurch@gm ail.com or contact Reverend Eddie on 966769300 or 650509606.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (Mormons) meet at 10.00 each Sunday at their Torrevieja meeting­ house in the Torreaguas building on the corner of Rambla Juan Mateo Garcia 104, close to the windmill in Torrevieja, 667 533 597.

BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES Modern Hairdressers and Beauty Salon to let.

Prime location in Quesada, close to numerous shops and businesses. Previously run as a very profitable business. Fully equipped and ready to open, no premium, low rental. Call 603 224 373 (139) 1st Floor unit to let, 45sqm suitable for many trades. No premium, low rental. Call 603 224 373 (139) Empty unit previously run as a very profitable nail bar. Could be used for any other business. No premium, low rental. Call 603 224 373 (139) Large shop to let, suit­ able for many trades.

25sqm, plus 80m terrace.

No premium, low rental.

Call 603 224 373 (139)

ALARMS

Busy bar/restaurant in San Javier, close to air­ port, selling up due to health problems. Loyal clientele, ideal location.

Phone 634362820 for further information.

FOR SALE. Supermarket ‘Traspasa’. Fully stocked plus machines / shelving.

Been running with pres­ ent owner 7 years. Good income. In high street Guardamar. Near Weds market. 20.000€ ONO. Tel: 634 106 460

BUSINESS SERVICES Handy Mal. No Job too small, painting, tiling, small builds, gardening, ikea assembly, San Javier and surrounding areas, very reasonable rates. References avail­ able. Tel: 649 955 005 (141)

CARS FOR SALE

CARPENTER

Car insurance quotes – new extra discount on fully comprehensive poli­ cies at the price of third party!

Excellent prices for expats, all policies and call centre staff in English. We will call you back with a quote. 966 923 963

INSURANCE CASER SEGUROS ­ for all your insurance needs, home, car, health, funer­ al. Policies available in English and German.

Call Professional Business Support on 966 923 963 for a quick quote from our friendly staff.

PROPERTY FOR RENT Viva Villa and Vacation Services, For Short or Long Term Rentals visit: www.villaandvacation.co m or Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 61, A lovely two bed­ roomed ground floor apartment, located in the centre of the small Spanish town of Los Montesinos, With a pleasant communal swimming pool adjacent & all amenities in walking

distance. Long and short term rental available.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 104, 2 Bedroom apartment in Torrevieja, (near gypsy lane), small balcony, near all ameni­ ties and Friday market. €350pcm Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 112, Spacious 3 bedroom detached villa with its private pool is located on the El Raso urbanisation near Guardamar. Convenient for all amenities, shops, supermarket, restaurants and bars. Short term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref 702: Beautiful 2 bed­ room apartment, located near los Locos beach, beautifully furnished.

Short term rentals from 175€ per week. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 63, Two bedroom 1st floor apartment situat­ ed in Monino Blanco. The property overlooks a superb communal pool area, in within walking distance of bars, restau­ rants and shops. Short or long term rental avail­ able. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

DANCE CLUB

CAR HIRE

CLEANERS

35

Friday, October 11, 2013

LONG TERM RENTALS WANTED! Properties, all types, in the Torrevieja area wanted for long term rentals. Call us on 96 692 3963 CBR32 : 3 bed, 2 bath apartment in Los Montesinos, very spa­ cious 120 m2, fully fur­ nished, with pool on solarium, only 300€ p/m, call now on 966 923 963 CBR18 : Large, detached villa on 1200 m plot, beachside Punta Prima, 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom, private pool and garage, 900€ pcm, call 966 923 963 Ref: 709, A lovely 1 bed­ room apartment in Aguas Nuevas, within a 5 minute walk of the beach.

There is a terrace outside

with views to the sea.

Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

PROPERTY FOR SALE Home and Contents cover ­ Comprehensive policies for house and contents with CASER Seguros ­ excellent prices for expats; policies available in. Call 966 923 963 for a quote.

RS116 – 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom towncentre apartment in Los Montesinos, beautifully furnished/decorated, pool on solarium, 85.000€, call 966 923 963 Rare opportunity to pur­ chase on Mediterrania III, Gran Alacant. 2 bed­ rooms, 2 bathrooms,

CAR BREAKERS

Private Parking, F/Furnished, Large com­ munal pools & Tennis courts S/W facing, Dramatically reduced for quick sale to 126.000 euros. Ref No. K58 Call 627 711 155 for immedi­ ate viewing RS96 : La Mata, 1 bed­ room apartment, large solarium, communal pool, close to beach, 55.000€, call 966 923 963 RS80 : Spanish style townhouse in Algorfa, totally reformed and redecorated, 110m2, 3 lrg.bedrooms, 1 bath­ room, many extras, absolute bargain at 99,500 €, call now on 966 923 963 for no obligation viewing.

Ref: 510, €70,000.

Bungalow located in San Luis. It is close to the supermarkets, bars and

restaurants and is on the local bus route. An Opel Corsa car is included in this sale. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Lovely Corner property in Novamar V, Gran Alacant. 2 bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms Being sold fully furnished including appliances, Has secure underground parking and faces large oasis com­ munal pool. Walking dis­ tance to beach. 139.000 Euros, Call 627 711 155 and quote Ref No. K10 Ref: 104 Lovely 2 Bedroom Apartment, close to Shops, walking distance to Friday Market and Town Centre and the beach. The property is close to the Habaneres Shopping Centre and Aquapark.

Recently refurbished apartment in a good central location.

Conveniently situated for

HOUSE / BAR CLEARANCE

all the facilities of this modern vibrant town, and only a few blocks away from Torreviejas excel­ lent sea front with its abundant cafes, restau­ rants and shops. Price €43950 Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref. BRJ1 – 1 bedroom top floor renovated apart­ ment in San Luis. Great sea and lake views.

45.000€. Tel. 966 923 963 Immaculate ground floor Duplex, 2 beds, 2 bath, Private Parking, Situated in Novamar, Gran Alacant. Price includes very tasteful furniture and white goods. Walking dis­ tance to all local ameni­ ties and beach. Now only 129,750 euros. Ref No K24. 627 711 155 Don Pueblo, Gran Alacant. 3 Bedrooms, 3 Bathrooms, Large

Kitchen with Galleria, Secure underground parking, Gas Central Heating, Glazed in Porch, Solarium with stunning views. Viewings absolutely essential. Very large property at reduced price of 190.000 euros.

Ref No. K38 Call 627 711 155 KBJ3 : 3 bed penthouse in Guardamar, furnished, fantastic sea views, com­ munal pool and parking, 155.000€, call 966 923 963 Opportunity to purchase at the off plan price of 195.000 euros. Large 4 Bed, 3 Bath Brand new property. Secure under­ ground parking for 2 cars and communal pool.

Situated opposite Gran Alacant and over looks projected golf course.

Ref No. K52. 627 711 155

HOME CARE

36

Friday, October 11, 2013

RS1 : 3 bed large villa in Torrevieja on 950m2 plot, private pool, Jacuzzi / sauna, parking, 289.000€, call 966 923 963 Viva Villa and Vacation Services are pleased to offer property sales for the Torrevieja and Oriheula areas of the Costa Blanca, Spain.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 or Visit : www.vil­ laandvacation.com Ref: 78, €120,000. Three bedroom Quad in Jardin Del Mar VII. There is off­ road parking and small storage shed in the enclosed garden area, communal pool nearby.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 2 Bed, 1 Bath Ground floor duplex. Central heating, Grills, Fully fur­ nished, Glazed in Galleria, 2 communal pools, private parking and walking distance to the Gran Alacant com­ mercial centre. Situated in the popular urbanisa­ tion of Puerto Marino.

Now only 96,500 euros for quick sale Ref No. K46. 627 711 155 Ground Floor Duplex, on the Monte y Mar estate of Gran Alacant.

3 Bedrooms, 1 Bathroom, Fully furnished, Private Parking, Communal pool Ref. GA0094 NOw only 83.000e Tel. 680333242 Gran Alacant Detached villa, located in a very sought after location.Situated on a 560m2 S/W facing plot and constructed in 2005.

Comprising of 3 bed­ rooms, 3 bathrooms (2 full baths), Lounge­Diner, fully equipped Kitchen,

Porch and Solarium with Alicante & Sea Views. ref.L81. €258,000 neg.

Tel. 680333242 Gran Alacant Town House with a difference.

2 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, Glazed in Porch, Quiet Location, Extra storage areas, and South Facing Private Pool as well as 2 commu­ nal pools.

Fully Furnished, All mod cons.

Greenland Views and all local amenities close by.

Ref. No L79. 179.000 euros 680 333 242 Ref: 520, €80,000. Two bedroom apartment in Dream Hills, with a fully equipped kitchen, large lounge, glazed­in terrace and a large solarium.

This property comes with a large communal swim­ ming pool. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Gran Alacant immaculate villa, 3 bedroomed, 3 bathroomed property maintained to a very high standard inside and out and the interior furnish­ ings are top quality, offer­ ing a feeling of luxury and good taste. The plot size is 400m2 and has been beautifully tiles, and grav­ eled and has established palms and plants. Oil fired central heating throughout, log effect fire place, ceiling fans in all rooms, towel heater rails, glazed in shower units, instant hot water, water purifier, free English TV, phone & internet lines, fit­ ted double hanging wardrobes, safe, glazed in front porch, vanity units and much more. The pool is an 8 X 4 m2 salt water pool, meaning mainte­ nance is much easier

plus outside toilet and shower. Sea views to front with Greenland views to the rear. ref K51. €245,000 Tel 680333242 Ref: 516, €39,999. Studio apartment in San Luis, close to amenities. Open plan fully equipped kitchen. Good sized lounge, bedroom and out onto balcony which has been glazed to create another room. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 709, €60,000 A love­ ly 1 bedroom apartment in Aguas Nuevas, within a 5 minute walk of the beach. There is a terrace outside with views to the sea. Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: KP3100, €183,000.

Three bedroom, two bathroom detached villa, located in San Luis, on a 450sqm plot, with com­ munal pool. Garage to side of house. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 520, €85,000. Two bedroom apartment in Dream Hills, with a fully equipped kitchen, large lounge, glazed­in terrace and a large solarium.

This property comes with a large communal swim­ ming pool. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Lovely clean detached Villa just as you enter Gran Alacant. Very cen­ tral location, 3 Bedrooms, 3 Bathrooms, Glazed in Porch, Garden Shed,

Private Parking, Attractive Gardens, Private pool Ref: K59 240.000e Tel. 627711155 Recently reduced 4 Bed, 3 Bath Villa, in Gran Alacant. Quiet Location, Exceptional Views.

Converted Under build, 2 Lounges, 2 Kitchens, Private Garage and being sold Fully Furnished, now only 239.950 Ref: L81 Tel. 680333242 Large 4 Bedroom, 4 Bathroom, 2 Kitchens, 2 Lounges, 600m2+ plot Large Retractable Glazed in Pool for all year swimming, Private Parking for 4 cars, Very low­maintenance, Fully Furnished. 330.000e but Negotiable. Very different to the other properties in Gran Alacant and is dis­ abled friendly Ref: L80 Tel. 680333242 Corner Plot Property in the lower end of Gran Alacant. 3 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, Under build, Roof top Solarium Being sold Fully Furnished including White goods.

Walking distance to all local amenities.

139.950e Ref. GA0087 Tel. 680333242 Limited Edition Fortaleze in Gran Alacant Exceptionally Large Plot.

4 Bedrooms, 3 Bathrooms, Large Private Pool with Decorative Garden, Private Parking, Electric

Gates, Glazed in Porch, Solarium, Under build.

Quiet sought after area.

Very tastefully furnished and all included 370.000e Ref. K52 Tel. 627711155 Mid Terraced Townhouse on Avda Polognia, Gran Alacant Furnished to a very high standard and includes White Goods. 3 Bed, 2 Bath, Lounge Diner, Fully converted Under build offering a second lounge and large storage area. Roof top Solarium, Glazed in gal­ leria with extended work­ tops. Front Garden with BBQ, Communal Pool with Gardens. 132.000e Ref. K16 Tel. 627711155 Semi­Detached Villa with Open Greenland Views to the Rear and Alicante Views to the Front, means this property in Gran Alacant would appeal to anybody look­ ing for a quiet location.

Comprising of 3 Bedrooms, 3 Bathrooms, Lounge diner, with work­ ing Fire place, Porch, Solarium, Established Gardens and Private Pool, Private Parking on a large plot. 265.000e

Ref. L95 Tel. 680333242 Offers Invited on a mid Terraced Town house in Gran Alacant.

Comprising of 3 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, Lounge Diner, Galleria, Solarium, Under build.

Communal Pool and Gardens, and with Exceptional Views of Alicante. Being Sold Fully Furnished including White Goods. Ref. K42 Tel. 627711155 (reason­ able offers only) 2 Bedroom, 2 Bathroom, Unfurnished Mid Terraced Townhouse in GA. Recently decorated throughout means this property is a very clean black canvass. Has Air­ Con & Security Grills and the use of a Communal Pool. Price recently reduced to 110.000e Ref.K12 Tel. 627711155

POOLS

PETS

PERSONAL

MAN AND A VAN

PLUMBERS

DRAINAGE

POOL TABLES

37

Friday, October 11, 2013 Reduced for a quick sale to 95.000 e 2 Bedroom, 1 bathroom, Top Floor Duplex in Gran Alacant.

Very Modern Property with Many extras. Glazed in Porch, Roof Top Solarium, Wooden Flooring.

Immaculate condition and ready to move in. Ref. K15 Tel. 627711155.

Gran Alacant, Situated on the very first urbanisa­ tion as you enter Gran Alacant, this 2nd floor duplex offers taste and quality. Comprising of 2 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, lounge­diner, independ­ ent kitchen, full roof­top solarium with superb views and recently glazed in porch offering extra living area as well as extra privacy as the glass is mirrored.

Ref.K44 €108,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant, Situated in the "Alto" part of Gran Alacant, this 3 bed­ roomed, 4th floor apart­ ment, offers luxury accommodation, with absolutely stunning sea views, as well as views of Alicante bay and the famous Santa Barbara

Castle.The apartment is 89 square meters with open plan kitchen / living room and includes all electrical appliances & furniture also there is a utility room, open terrace, and private parking. The urbanisation also offers many communal pools, tennis courts, restaurants and bars. Ref. K20 €109,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant villa located in a very quiet area , situ­ ated at the end of a cul­ de­sac means there is no through traffic.3 bed, 3 bath, 330m2 plot, estab­ lished large gardens, working fireplace, solar panel for hot water,pri­ vate parking, south fac­ ing great views, fully fur­ nished, fantastic opportu­ nity. ref. L85. €215,000 Tel 680333242 Beach front Line proper­ ty, over looks Carabassi Beach, Gran Alacant. 2 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, Secure Underground Parking, Fully furnished, Roof Top Solarium. 3 Large Communal Pools, Fantastic communal Gardens, Tennis Courts and much more. 125.000 Euros Ref No. K23. Tel. 627 711 155

SURVEYOR

STORAGE

REMOVALS

Gran Alacant, Situated front line to the famous blue flag beaches of Carabassi, the real beau­ ty of this property is its proximity to the beach, but also on offer is a fan­ tastic communal pool sit­ uated in beautifully kept gardens with little Spanish walk ways.Comprising of 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, lounge diner, American style kitchen including all appliances, roof top solarium with stunning views, front porch area with front garden and a secure underground garage. fully furnished Ref. K23 €125,000 rare opportunity Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant limited edi­ tion villa, not very often available on the market.

Only a few of this type were ever constructed­ Very large 5 bedrooms, 4 bathroom(2 en­suit) property, situated on a large corner plot with a 10 x 5 private pool and private parking. Lounge­ diner with working fire­ place, fully equipped kitchen with utility room.

Large landing area, lead­ ing onto solarium, with extra storage external room. Front porch area leading into large well established gardens with irrigation system and fruit trees. Being sold fully fur­ nished. Within walking distance to Gran Alacant

commercial centre and 5 minute drive to Carabassi beaches. ref.

K11. €270,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant large detached villa with 3 dou­ ble bedrooms, 2 bath­ rooms, lounge­diner, fully equipped kitchen, large porch, roof top solarium, 400 m2 Plot, with estab­ lished low maintenance very private gardens with irrigation system, elec­ tronic gates, private park­ ing, outside wc, sink & shower, terraces, air con ( h & c ), mosquito nets, grills, alarmed, large spa pool with separate Jacuzzi section. Within easy walking distance to Gran Alacant commercial centre and close to local bus and tram route. Ref K33. €260,000 neg Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant, detached villa in desirable road close to all amenities, comprising of 3 double bedrooms, 3 baths, lounge diner with working fire place, brand new kitchen with all appli­ ances and black granite work tops, private pool, plot of 550m2, estab­ lished irrigated gardens and fruit trees, private parking, solarium, also there is a converted under build giving more bedrooms ,bathroom & kitchen, this house has many extras and is being sold fully furnished.

Ref.k47. €280,000 neg

RAG AND BONE

VAN HIRE

Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant south­fac­ ing, very private villa, with woodland and Alicante views. Situated at the end of a small cul­de­sac which means this villa enjoys a very peaceful location.3 Bedrooms with fitted wardrobes, 3 Bathrooms, lounge­diner with working fireplace, fully fitted kitchen with including white goods, large front porch, solari­ um,workshop and stor­ age in under build, cen­ tral heating, air con H/C, ceiling fans, grills, UK T.V, off road parking and plenty of outside parking also. Due to its orienta­ tion of this property enjoys full sun, all day, something very important in the winter months.

Ref.K24. €237,000 Tel 680333242

QUIZZES Experienced quiz­mas­ ter/question setter with personality available to host quiz nights in local bars. Tel:­ 664 838 581

SITUATIONS VACANT Butia Espana Self moti­ vated staff required in Costa Blanca, Sales experience in property an advantage. Must have own transport. Tel Spain 960130537 or UK 0800 612 7514 or info@buti­ aespana.com (141) RADIO COSTA INTER­ NATIONAL needs moti­ vated sellers. Spanish, English and German lan­ guage is a bonus but not essential. Training and good earnings guaran­ teed. For more info call 644 126 600 or email info@radicocostainterna­ tional.com Medaesthetics require a Beautician. Must have NVQ Level 3 and working

self employed email cv to sabinebrooks@hotmail.c om

REMOVALS Spanish Moves Small removals and deliveries.

Spain/UK Budget prices.

Last minute jobs under­ taken. www.spanish­ moves.net Telephone UK 0800 612 4922 or Spain 960130537 (141)

SOLICITORS Need English speaking solicitors in Torrevieja?

Let us help to solve your problems with debt recovery, divorce, prop­ erty, fraud, criminal defence. Call us on 966 923 963, give us brief details and get in touch with your specialist solici­ tor today

WIG SPECIALIST SALON MAR­ GARETHAS, 23 years in Torrevieja Hair/Wig spe­ cialist for Medical illness and Hair Loss problems.

We offer different Hair Replacements, top fillers, Hair prostheses, Toupees and Wigs, Natural and Artificial hair and much more. Also fashion/festival acces­ sories TV/TS are wel­ come to our service.

Please call our salon reception for an appoint­ ment with Margaretha on Tel no 966 921 846 Torrevieja (90)

WANTED

38

Friday, October 11, 2013

Greenside Gossip IVIE DAVIES takes a weekly look at the golf scene - golfdavies@gmail.com

SEVE SNUB IS DISRESPECTFUL

The Seve Trophy had José María Olazábal doing it again by lifting the silverware even though eight members of the world’s top 20 skipped this biennial match – which was created as a dress rehearsal for the Ryder Cup. It ended up as an exciting contest which went to the very last pairing.

Frenchman Gregory Bourdy may have been the lowest ranked of the European side heading into the event, but he left with his reputation bol­ stered after claiming a maximum haul of five points on home soil: ­ the first time this has been achieved.

Francesco Molinari’s 3 & 2 win over Chris Wood meant the Continentals prevailed 15­13 over Great Britain & Ireland and Olazábal was keen to stress the importance of the future of the four­day match. Chema was so happy that after six defeats in a row that they had finally won and it would be a shame if the Seve Trophy didn’t carry on for many years as this was such a wonderful match. It needs as many big names as possible. Alas, unless the European Tour can find a sponsor, this, indeed, may be the last staging of the Seve Trophy which would be an utter disgrace and a total dishonour of Seve’s legacy. It was sad to see how few of the “stars” of the European Tour were there, and even Ryder Cup player Paul Lawrie, who did play, said beforehand that he was not happy with the oth­ ers. I think it's extremely disappointing that a lot of the European “stars” did not play, not just in an event that carries Seve’s name, but missing out on a handsome cheque for turning up and getting involved. It's sad for everyone involved in it; for the European Tour, who have done a great job putting it on, and for Seve and his family. Most of them are out there playing because of what the magical Spaniard did years ago to raise the profile of European golf and the European Tour itself.

With the absence of the top six GB & Ireland qualifiers (Rory McIlroy, Justin Rose, Graeme McDowell, Ian Poulter, Luke Donald and Lee Westwood) combined with the absence of top Europeans Henrik Stenson and Sergio Garcia, it was Garcia who started the trend in 2002 when deciding to play a PGA Tour event instead. We could all be forgiven for thinking The Seve Trophy has been watered

TITTER ON THE TEE A new member walks into the Golf Club House and takes a seat next to a very attractive Lady member.

He gives her a quick glance and then casually looks at his watch for a moment.

The woman notices this and asks: “Have you missed your Tee time?”

'No', he replies, “I just got this state­of the­art GPS watch, and I was just testing it.”

The intrigued woman says: “A state­of­the­art GPS watch, what's so special about it?”

The member explains: “Apart from telling me yardages to the hole, it uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathi­ cally.”

The lady says, “What's it telling you now?”

“Well, it says you're not wearing any panties.”

The woman giggles and replies: “Well it must be broken, because I am wearing panties!”

The new member smiles, taps his watch and says: “This thing's an hour fast!”

down, something like, ordering a Guinness and being served a weak lager shandy. As for Garcia, arguably the closest playing link to Seve in matchplay golf, it is little won­ der that he is a troubled soul, seemingly searching for life balance and contentment. Maybe he should take a leaf out of the book of his countryman Rafa Nadal and show some respect for the game, its fans, and his supposed hero:­ the great Conquistador ,Senor Ballesteros.

Henrik Stenson, coming off an amazing run of form turned down the chance to play, perhaps preferring to spend his money but surely his spree could have waited another week? Large egos padded by swollen bank accounts of Dollars, Euros, and Pounds that each of the players that withdrew, will never ever spend in their own lifetimes.

As a further point, we now have players who have become somewhat subservient to their managers or mismanagers in some cases and are making decisions on long term earning capacity and perceived greatness based on results in prima­ rily the Majors. This is a sad indictment on a 21st Century sport which has transcended into an Industry where the Almighty Dollar reigns supreme.

Finally players claim that they are burnt out physically and emotionally from a long season and need to rest up ARRR! Rubbish. I believe that there is ample opportunity prior to the

KNOW YOUR RULES QUESTION In a Stableford competition, David is acting as John’s marker. He records John’s gross score for the Par 4 ­ 3rd Hole as a 4 and his Stableford points as 3. The gross score is correct; however he only scored 2 Stableford points (as he was not receiving a stroke at this hole).

At the end of the round he signed his score card and returns it to the Committee. Should John be disqualified for signing for a higher number of points than he actually scores?

A: True B: False ANSWER B: False. Rule 33.5. In a Stableford competition, the Committee is responsible for applying the handicap recorded on the score card and determining the result of each hole and the overall result and point’s total

season opening PGA events in Hawaii for players to recover.

Professional Rugby League players have a short period before they are back in full training in preparation for the next season; for certain they are recovering from a more arduous sea­ son in an impact sport that is highly more demanding than that experi­ enced by our pedigreed pooches on the US PGA Tour. Yet the Seve Trophy should be a vital competition on the European Tour, providing an opportunity for Matchplay experience for best young talents in European golf. Players like Matteo Mannesero, Thorbjørn Olesen and Tommy Fleetwood may well be the future stars of a Tour struggling to retain its star attractions from the bright lights and wealth of its American counter­ part. And the Seve Trophy provides the opportunity to demonstrate talent that that might one day blossom in future Ryder Cups.

The format is slightly different to the Ryder Cup with five fourball matches were played on the first two days. On day three, there were two sessions of four four­ somes matches with the final day featuring ten singles matches. There were also Seve Trophy debutants on both sides, with the English trio of Tommy Fleetwood, David Lynn, and Simon Khan joined by Scotland’s Stephen Gallacher.

The Continental Europe Team included three debutants, Frenchman Gregory Bourdy, Dutchman Joost Luiten and Dane Thorbjørn Olesen. Jose Maria Olazábal, was under­ taking his second stint as captain in the contest, having been at the helm at The Wynyard Club in 2005 Whilst there was a lack of Ryder Cup stars in the teams it does represent the talent seen on a weekly basis on the European tour, and Paul McGinley accepts that the compe­ tition no longer attracts the top Europeans indicating a shift in its focus. The Seve Trophy definitely isn't the Ryder Cup and it's not trying to be. As more top European players com­ mit themselves to the PGA Tour in America, The Seve Trophy has adopted a different outlook, preferring to cele­ brate young European talent. For the younger players, play­ ing alongside senior figures like Björn, Lawrie and Jimenéz it’s also an opportunity to learn about professional match­ play, develop their skills and ultimately entertain the crowds.

These are traits in which the trophy's namesake would be justifiably proud of.

Friday, October 11, 2013

39

BOOZING GAZZA - A TRAGEDY

With all the World Cup excitement this weekend, let’s spare a thought for an Englishman who brought us great national pleasure and excitement not too many years ago at such events; a man who is now in a desperate place and looks to have time running out.

Paul Gascoigne was a national institution who is finding it impossible to main­ tain a normal existence today, someone who cannot cope with the reality of life after all the excitement of his playing years.

Why is this? If you’ve ever read his autobiography ‘Gazza: My Story’ there are clues. For me this is a man who has never grown up, and never will – a boy in a man’s body, unable to cope with ‘normal’ responsibilities ­ like being a husband and a father. Paul has enormous problems looking a f t e r h i m ­ self, s o

how can he hope to be responsible for others? The clowning and joking has to stop sometime for everyone, but for Gazza there was nothing to replace it when the playing finished. Drink was always the escape ­ not coaching, football manage­ ment, business, women, gambling or other similar ‘adult’ avenues that other ex­ footballers pursue after the goldrush. None of these is suitable for

Paul Gascoigne, as it couldn’t be for any immature adult who has no ability or interest in such directions.

Gazza was always a booz­ er, always to excess but the necessary and welcome training enabled him to stay one step ahead of real dan­ ger: but when the playing fin­ ished there was no get­out, and alcoholism easily walked in, encouraged by well­ meaning but not­understand­ ing celebrity stars like Danny Baker and Chris Evans. But these are men who know when they’ve had enough and when to draw the line, but Gazza never did, could see no reason to stop ­ and didn’t want to. There lies the problem – he doesn’t want to ­ it’s the only way he can get to the oblivion he craves.

The TV ‘fly­on­the­wall’ family dramas are excruci­ ating to watch. The nuclear family who just don’t get why he does it, try, once again to re­introduce the husband and father back to family normality. But Paul is, and always will be a square peg in the r o u n d hole of socie­

Elche break home duck Elche saw off Espanyol 2­1 to win at home for the first time in the Primera Liga this season. The hosts bossed the first half and deservedly took the lead six minutes before half­time through former Espanyol player Coro, but Espanyol were rejuvenated after the break, leading to Thievy Bifouma pulling them level on 65 minutes. The visitors looked as if they would go on and win the game as they continued to press Manu Herrera's goal, but Coro got his second goal with little more than a quarter of an hour remaining, which was enough to deliver a 2­1 win and all three points, which lifted them to 12th in the table. The international break means that Elche’s next league match is at Real Betis on Sunday October 20th.

10 man Monte hold on

CD Montesinos staged a smash and grab to win 1­nil at new side Playas de Orihuela last Sunday.

Monte’s goal came after just 3 min­ utes from David and then the visi­ tors were put on the rack by Orihuela who then dominated the first half. Montesinos keeper Christian kept his side in the match, and things got even worse before half­time when striker Edu

was sent­off for lashing out after being pulled down by a defender.

It was more of the same in the 2nd half, though Angel hit the wood­ work on a breakaway, and with 6 added minutes of injury time, Monte gratefully clung onto the three points. The next game sees CD Montesinos at home this Sunday afternoon to Callosa Deportiva with a 4.30pm kick­off.

ty. He’s the outsider, not one said he loved living in a hotel, of them: a parasite, a pas­ with people around if he senger to be tolerated, pitied needed them, someone and patted, more like a diffi­ always there to feed him and cult pet that can turn violent clean his room. But it seems and frighten the family. all the money has gone, Even if Gazza did manage squandered, given away, to stop drinking altogether, robbed, whatever. He bought what can he do with his life? his senior family ­ parents Charity work, help with kids? and siblings ­ houses where He does identify with they all live in close proximity, younger ones, unsurprising but he doesn’t, he can’t relax as he still is one himself, but there for long, there are he needs regular supervi­ issues that make him differ­ sion: he shouldn’t live alone, ent to the others. he cannot cope on his own or Gazza first endeared him­ he will drink. In the book he self to the nation in 1990, as

once again since 1966 we believed we might be going to win the World Cup, but were undone, as usual by the Germans. But in our homes, there he was crying, showing real emotions as another Great British loser, the sort we love capturing our hearts in sympathy and becoming an overnight celebrity in the process. But in a few short years Gazza has become a sick British joke, a modern tragedy being played out in the public eye ­ slowly but surely moving towards a tragic ending. I hope we can all remember Gazza as he was, the great footballer ­ and not the Paul Gascoigne who couldn’t cope with life.

Early goals give Torry win Two goals in the space of a minute gave FC Torrevieja an easy 2­nil win over Paterna early in the first half of their Sunday encounter. A tap­ in from Raja in the 16th minute, followed by a low drive from Pastor a minute later effectively sealed up the match for Torrevieja who are yet to concede a goal this season at the Vicente Garcia Stadium. The visitors came into the game more with a number of second­half chances, but Torrevieja totally dominated large parts of the match, and were denied two clear­ cut penalty appeals which would have made the final scoreline more convincing.

Two hat-tricks as Torry win An exciting seesaw match which saw two hat­tricks and an injury time winner from Carrasco gave Torrevieja a 4­3 midweek victory away to bottom side Villareal C. After Sunday’s home win over Paterna, Torry fell behind after just 5 minutes to a Vicente penalty after Dani Meseguer, back from suspension, gave away the spot kick and got yellow carded into the bargain. Two well­taken goals from 35 year old Carrasco gave Torry the half­time advantage, but then Vicente levelled up matters 10 minutes into the 2nd half. Obele seemed to have settled matters for Torrevieja with a quarter of an hour remaining, but then there was high drama in added time, with Vicente scoring a hat­trick for the home side to make it 3­all, but then the veteran Carrasco got his hat­trick and all three points for Torrevieja, two minutes later. Torry will look for a team hat­trick of league wins on Sunday when they entertain another side that has had a good start, Jove Espanol with a 6.00pm kick­off.

Friday, October 11, 2013

40

WEMBLEY WOE FOR WOY?

And will those feet in World Cup time Run upon England’s Wembley green And will they give us goals divine And by our grateful nation seen.

John McGregor reports

And will the Montenegrans fall Ukraines and Poles ­ not looking up And will Roy Hodgson’s men be there In Rio for the great World Cup.

Apologies to William Blake, but we English (Celts excepted) expect to be there in Brazil for the World Cup next summer ­ who cares this weekend about Qatar in 2022? All we red­blooded Englishmen, plus more and more ladies (well done, girls ­ if you can’t beat ‘em…) want to see us there in Brazil ­ and the good news is – it’s within our own control!

Unbeaten England lead their group H by one point from Montenegro and Ukraine with two to play, both at Wembley: firstly against Montenegro tonight (9pm ITV) and then Poland on Tuesday, same time.

Formerly top and in charge of the group the

Montenegrans are now joint second, losing recently 4 – 0 to Ukraine, also now second. But Montenegro still have many stars playing in top leagues in different countries, like Jovetic at Man City and remain danger­ ous. Ukraine are playing fourth­placed Poland tonight who are two points behind them, and the Poles are coming to Wembley on Tuesday evening ­ all old gits like me will shudder remembering 1973 and all that.

For England there’s just one or two Hart­felt worries, but if Jack keeps off the fags, Wayne doesn’t get gashed in training and Liverpool let Danny come out to play we should be OK. Hart must play; he deserves it and has got England out of trouble on more than one occasion. Kyle Walker has cemented the right back position and Gary Cahill and Phil Jagielka look the new Terry and Ferdinand: at left back normally King (Ashley) Cole reigns, but he’s injured for once, so the promising prince Leighton Baines is the natural heir to the throne.

Captain and midfield maestro has to be Stevie Gerrard by divine right, but for me Lampard’s lights are dim­ ming and we need to look brightly ahead here.

Wilshere and Ross Barkley illuminate the future with James Milner to back ‘em up, and upfront, well – England are blessed with three world­class strikers, and all are bang in­form: Rooney, Welbeck and

Sturridge should start, with resolute Ricky Lambert to back ‘em up – phew! Rio, here we come!

Touch of old Brian Clough methinks in Harry Redknapp’s latest ‘explosive’ offering, ‘Always Managing: My Autobiography’. HP’s very bitter on the sore subject of his being passed over by the FA for the England manager’s job while supremely spearheading Spurs. ‘The best manager England never had’ was one of Cloughie’s modest claims, the people’s choice who never stood a chance FA­wise with his outspoken views. Hmm, déjà vu perhaps, but yer’ve blown it now ‘arry mate. Even if you get Quickly Pushing Re­instate­ ment back up into the big time and keep ‘em there, they’ll never give it you now.

Fag break (sorry Jack, not for you) for all those not involved in the internationals and that’s welcome for some clubs to sort a few things out. What a Prem sea­ son this is turning out to be: no clear cut leaders, no­ one unbeaten and a few surprises, like Southampton going well in fourth and Hull in eighth, one place above mighty Man United: great stuff.

So Gus Poyet’s taking over at Sunderland, eh? GP did a great job at Brighton, but what happened there, nobody’s saying. The Black Cats are scratching away rock­bottom with only one point. Give it gusto, Gus ­ the only way is up!