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Edition 3

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Friday, 11th March 2011

BRITS: EUROPEAN CHAMPS!

(It’s for drinking by the way… but let’s celebrate anyway!) ‘CHAMPS! 29% of Britons drink five or more alcoholic drinks a day‘

BRITS TOP EURO LEAGUE See Page2


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Friday, 11th March, 2011

PICTURE OF THE WEEK

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THE TOP WRITERS

Alicante from the castle - Mark Welton 8th February 2011

REBUILDING THE WALL

The wall is to be reconstructed in Madrid and Barcelona – that’ll be The Wall, as created by former Pink Floyd star Roger Waters as the English singer and song writer is set to play four dates in Madrid and Barcelona next month. The Wall Live Tour will see him perform the rock classics that made him famous with a complete performance of the same name album. Waters achieved worldwide success in the 1970s with Pink Floyd becoming the band’s principal songwriter and conceptual leader after the departure of Syd Barrett in 1968.

Continued from page 1

By Dave Bull

Pubs, bars, cafes, and restaurants here in Spain can welcome through their doors weekly, if not daily plenty of European champions – the Brits. For no other nation drinks more when they're away enjoying themselves on their hols than Britons do, a new survey has revealed. Unsurprisingly, up to 65 per cent of Britons drink more while on a trip abroad than they would do at home which beats the next best challengers, the Italians of whom only 28% drank more while away than at home. The survey of more than 6,000 UK and European travellers also showed that while 29% of Britons drink five or more alcoholic drinks a day while on a break (most of my friends have done that quota by lunchtime…), only 10% of Europeans do so. However, not only Brits enjoy a drink while away, they are also very health conscious with Brits being the least likely to smoke more when away, with Italians the heaviest on-holiday smokers and a whopping 94% of Britons being 'careful' or 'very careful' about putting on sun protection while away with only 4% 'not being careful at all'…that’ll be the ones who’ve had a drink already. Overall, Brits were ranked highly for their healthy holiday habits, with Italians the least healthy and Spaniards coming out on top. It comes as no surprise that we British, who have long been known for liking a drink when away, come out on top and it seems that, for us, a good drink is part of the holiday while for our European neighbours it’s not. I think the suntan and cutting down on fags balances out the beer perfectly, so I’ll carry on then, cheers!

Only in Tony Brennan NEXT WEEK!

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Publication Published by Rainbow Media, S.L. Depósito legal A - 132 - 2011

Today

Monday Drizzle High Temperature: 17°C RealFeel: 19°C

E-MAIL office@thecourier.es WEB www.thecourier.es HEAD OFFICE Alto del Moncayo s/n, Guardamar del Segura, 03140, ALICANTE PHONE: 96 672 64 37 Email: office@thecourier.es OPENING HOURS Mon - Fri 1030 to 1730 EDITOR Dave Bull (English/Spanish) ADVERTISING SALES 96 672 6437 office@thecourier.es TELESALES 96 672 6437 606 540 408 Sally Los Alcazares, San Javier 616 596 647 Myra Quesada, Rojales, Torrevieja, San Miguel Tel. 628 379 126 Vanessa Gran Alacant, La Marina, Guardamar Tel. 648 012 926 Denise La Zenia, Playa Flamenca, Cabo Roig Tel. 697 241 753 Jean La Zenia, Playa Flamenca, Cabo Roig Tel. 635 829 012 Writers Dave Bull Malcolm Palmer Mick Hardy Spike Paul Payne Sally Bengtsson Tony Mayes Jake Monroe Dan Smith Photographer Mark Welton

Rain High Temperature: 14°C RealFeel: 10°C

Saturday Rain High Temperature: 19°C RealFeel: 18°C

Sunday Mostly sunny High Temperature: 19°C RealFeel: 17°C

Tuesday Periods of rain High Temperature: 17°C RealFeel: 17°C

Wednesday Cloudy High Temperature: 15°C RealFeel: 13°C

Thursday Partly sunny High Temperature: 19°C RealFeel: 16°C

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Friday, 11th March, 2011

THROUGH A GLASS…DARKLY

‘Enteratining’ the kids

TEACHER SUZANNE MANNERS OFFERS A HUMOROUS PERSPECTIVE OF LIFE DEALING WITH LITTLE PEOPLE

‘Children also have a sense of justice that should make Gadaffi and many other world leaders burn with eternal shame’

By Suzanne Manners After my second (large) brandy, life began (as it always does) to soften a little around the edges. My stress levels fell and I began to reflect on life, realising that it was at last time for me to admit to myself and to others that I had a problem. My name is Suzanne Manners and I am a teacher- there I said it. The word teacher brings with it a myriad of often contradictory reactions from fear to embarrassment (oh you’re a teacher...couldn’t find anything else do with your life) this embarrassment increases when clarification of the fact that I am indeed a primary teacher (not clever enough for secondary then) causes eyes to cloud over and thoughts to stray towards memories of hard faced spinsters wearing tweeds and pearls. Teaching is a rewarding, satisfying, aggravating, irrational and frustrating profession, oh and extremely exhausting. Being constantly in the company of small humans can have a detrimental effect on ones men-

Times have changed

tal health. Let me elaborateyoung children have an unbridled joy in and enthusiasm for all that life disallows, from consuming a mouldy microbe experiment to painting with Jenny’s plait (a wondrous abstract) As a teacher ,ones job is to harness this enthusiasm and put it to good use (though what Colonel Gadaffi’s teachers thought they were harnessing I dread to think). This effectively creates a paradox in the mind of many free thinking highly educated people (which teachers undoubtedly are) capable of destroying the known universe. On the one hand one must encourage a child’s curiosity while attempting to stifle it with the other (Johnny be quiet ...Johnny step away from the glitter... Johnny stop asking questions ... Why... because I said so!). When I first began teaching I remember asking my class of eager 8 year olds to line up in silence, castigating grubby boys for picking noses/spots/scabs/fights/th eir friend’s noses (delete as applicable) all the while thinking, ‘Well this isn’t very democratic is it?’ As a

teenager I had marched in support of the striking miners, against war, pollution, Contras and in favour of anything that restricted my freedom to do what the hell I pleased, because I knew best and no one was going to define the parameters of my life. ...and yet...there I was 15 years later doing just that to 32 small human beings. ‘Why don’t they tell me to go do one?’ I wondered. Children are inherently fascistic in their outlook. They thrive on strictly adhered to rules and regulations and have social beliefs that would make the aforementioned Colonel blush like a giddy boy after his first kiss (in fairness children also have a sense of justice that should make Gadaffi and many other world leaders burn with eternal shame). It is this unbending belief in their right to existence and their narrowly defined black and white views (drawn with a sharpened pencil and ruler then marked to within an inch of its life) that makes them such excellent soldiers / killing machines (a fact made plain on my first day of teaching practice...I swear children, like dogs, can smell fear). Teaching is like snake charming. We coax and bribe and gently tease out the creative thoughts and ideas that all humans have (before stifling them again). We lead them in a dance that benefits society, rendering safe all that is dangerous about the human condition and enhancing all that is beautiful. The charmer

respects the snake and the snake follows the charmer’s guiding hand. This symbiotic relationship can be found in classrooms across the world. A good teacher nurtures a child’s gift, be it artistic, mathematical, spiritual or physical and helps that child to harness it. The best we can do as teachers is to encourage children to question, think and take control. To make them aware of their skills and their limitations (not everyone can be good at everything but everyone can respect what others are good at), the very worse we can do is to make a child believe that what skills he has are worthless. Testing children creates stress and anxiety and is ultimately a false indicator of a child’s academic or developmental abilities (we all have bad days imagine if yours coincided with a maths test.) Children, like plants, develop at their own pace and only when they are good and ready. We feed them, water them give them light and warmth (and those little green sticks to make them stand straight) we measure them as they grow, knowing (as a wise woman once said) that nothing grows by being measured. Then at the end of all this nurturing, we test them, give them a level then tell them they are worthless and doomed to fail because some faceless little mandarin, who once had a bad experience in school and has not set foot in a classroom since, has decided that at the age of 9 a perfectly normal, healthy child who just happens not

to be good at maths and who has achieved (for to some children it is an achievement) a level 3 in their SATs test has failed....full stop, end of the line, vacate the carriage, your tickets are no longer valid on this line ( and in the spirit of shared responsibility and collective blame it is of course the teacher who is at fault). As the farmer knows, it doesn’t matter how much manure you shovel onto the field some crops will just not grow before they are ready. If the conditions for growth are not right or the timing is wrong the harvest will be delayed. So when I am asked why Johnny has not made any testable progress this month/year/key stage (delete as applicable) I will say that he was just not ready, that his parents had entered into a bitter divorce,

his dog has died and he doesn’t understand why the words keep jumping off the page, but that he has a level 5 smile and the gentlest nature of anyone I have ever met. So here I am at the bottom of the glass and ready to finish this diatribe (level 4a composition and effect, 5c sentence structure and punctuation, target: to improve handwriting and to focus on task at hand) and to return to my day job of assessment (ooh which colour highlighter should I use this week) target assigning, report writing, form filling, long term, medium term ,short term planning, effective marking, policy reading, coordinating, counselling, negotiating, conflict resolving and ....oh of course...do a bit of teaching.


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Friday, 11th March, 2011

SAYS xx

Oil prices are going up due to the unrest in the Middle East. I can understand that. But they’ll go up again when it’s quietened down ‘because….’ however, thousands of downtrodden Libyans are, as we speak, marching towards the front lawn of Gaddafi’s palace – the trouble is Gaddafi and his son are looking out of the back window and telling themselves everything is ok…I wonder if they want anything from my latest range of bargains…Emperors clothes… IT came as no surprise to me that Labour held Barnsley Central at the recent by-election with an increased majority, despite its General Election candidate being convicted for dishonestly claiming parliamentary expenses. People are a fickle lot. They know that while in office Labour went on an unsustainable spending spree, spending money like water and borrowing vast sums of money with scant regard to how it was going to be paid back, or even if we could afford the spiralling interest payments on the debt. Yes, I know that the worse villains were the bankers who went on an irresponsible lending spree, handing out vast sums to people and businesses with no regard to whether they could repay the loans. But it happened under Labour's watch and people in the higher echelons of power should have known what was going on and seen

where it could end up. That's what we elect them for and as for bureaucrats, pay through their nose for their salaries and pensions. It seemed that there was total collective irresponsibility. The public, rightly, gave Labour a bloody nose at the last election for their stupidity and, also, very wisely in my opinion, did not put one party in control. Instead it gave power to the Tories but clipped their wings so it was unable to indulge in right wing excesses. An ideal solution for the times, a government for the people. But what happens when the new government tries to put right the mess of the past with a dose of good, oldfashioned financial discipline? Yes, you've got it in one, the fickle public don't like it and very quickly turn to the party who they think will bring back the good times. Well, take it from me; if Labour came back with its policy of "let's put off until tomorrow anything we don't like," Britain would quickly be in a dreadful financial hole.

TONY MAYES …says it like it is ‘Always controversial’

A LITTLE BIT OF EVERYTHING SHOULD MAKE THINGS WORK

‘The public, rightly, gave Labour a bloody nose at the last election for their stupidity and, also, very wisely in my opinion, did not put one party in control’

Building a brighter future? Sterling would crash, fuel would cost a fortune and the same would happen with the cost of food - far worse than it is now. Borrowing costs would be higher, and if people tried to use industrial muscle to get higher wages, the Bank of England would be forced to put up interest rates through the roof. In short, financial ruin. People who are in debt know there is no easy fix, it's a hard slog to get into the black, and it's the same with the country. The one thing I would say about the present belt-tightening is that I’m not convinced that the rich are

paying their fair share. For example, council tax on mansions is no more than a property worth 320,000 pounds, and if the government wants to do something about pay and bonus excesses then tax them to the hilt. If I owned, say, Blenheim Palace, I would not pay a penny more in council tax than a detached house in Surrey. Tories, get this left-over from Thatcher's injustices sorted quickly. Yes, I know, that if the socalled "wealth creators" are taxed too highly; they might up sticks and leave the UK. But that might not be a bad

idea; it might give managers on the second tier of a company a shot at the big time. Back to our current financial mess, costing 110 million pounds a day just to pay the interest. I'm very worried about the trend of Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland going their separate ways and deciding their own spending budgets. That's because they are left of centre with a spend, spend mentality. For example, the other provinces have or are about to scrap prescription charges, while Westminster is putting them up by 20p to

7.40 pounds for England. It's all very well for these provinces to embark on social benefit programmes, but who is going to foot the bills? When they go bankrupt, will England tell Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland to get st***** and get yourselves out of the financial poo? I hope so and we won't have a soft English parliament feeling sorry and bailing them out. And let's see England putting up the barricades and stopping the hordes from bankrupt provinces invading the future prosperous England.

TOP 5 FAMOUS FINANCIAL FRAUDSTERS 1.Frank Abagnale

Frank Abagnale earned a fortune from cashing cheques Frank Abagnale remains one of America’s most successful fraudsters ever, cashing $2.5 million (€1.5

million at the current exchange rate) over a fiveyear period in the 1960s. Eventually, he was caught and imprisoned in France, only to be released again five years later to become an unpaid adviser to the FBI. 2.Bobbing around – Robert Maxwell Robert Maxwell was a familiar face in the British media – and there remains controversy as to whether he

‘Bob’

body else’s. Hidden among the financial institution’s accounts – most of which it was not directly liable for – was error account 88888, set up to hide a £20,000 debt from an inexperienced employee’s poor investment decisions.

drowned after slipping overboard from his yacht, or whether he committed suicide...but it’s ironic he was called ‘Bob’. Don’t you think…? 3.Baring his soul – Nick Leeson Nick Leeson’s official website now carries the full story of how he brought down Barings Bank in 1995 as part of one of the highestprofile fraud cases in British history. And it emerges that the cover-up began not with his mistake, but with some-

spiring to keep money for themselves that should rightfully have gone to the company.

Nat West Three - what a bunch of bankers...

Oops...we all make mistakes - Nick Leeson 4. The NatWest Three The NatWest Three are a trio of British businessmen implicated in the 2001 bankruptcy scandal of American energy firm Enron. In a court ruling from the US district court of southern Texas, the three are accused of con-

5 .Aleef Garages Proving that fraud is as popular today as ever, November 2007 saw seven employees of newsagent chain Aleef Garages convicted of tax fraud. A total of £5.3 million was skimmed from the north-west company’s balance sheets by fraudulently declaring takings, with the deception taking place at director level. Three company directors

and six other people, including both senior managers and lower-level employees, pleaded guilty to charges of tax fraud.


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Friday, 11th March, 2011

TAKING THE BULL BY THE HORNS A reasoned reply to the editor’s opinion

By Malcolm Palmer I am, as all my friends know, an animal lover, and hate both suffering and violence, but although I should like to see some radical changes, I should not wish to see, were it even remotely possible, the abolition of bullfighting. Firstly, let me tell you a little about bull-ranches. Spread over many sparsely-populated parts of Spain, they are usually in parkland-like country, affording some of the most beautiful landscapes in this lovely land. And, because José Public doesn’t go wandering about in them, they supply nesting territory to many birds of prey, including the Spanish Imperial Eagle, one of the world’s rarest, with no more than 200 pairs. They are also home to many precious songbirds and a host of mammals – Wolves, Wild Cat, Badgers, ands so forth. But as to the Corrida de Toros - the bullfight is ingrained into the Spanish character, its music, dance, sayings, art and conversation. The bullfight is not, of course, a sport – it is an art-form, and one that has

The ‘art’ of Bullfighting endured for centuries. I said I’d like to see changes, and tauromaquia - the whole bullfighting scene – can change. Until the fifties, for example, the horse of the picador was unprotected, and at Ronda’s magnificent old ring (the oldest in Spain) they simply chucked the

dead horses over the cliff for the vultures. Since then, they have been protected by a heavy, armed mattress affair, and go unscathed. Now I’d like to see the picadores disappear, and lots of Spaniards agree. There is little real justification for damaging the bull’s neck

muscles before the faena – the final phase. I should also like to see the bull released afterwards, rather than killed – this happens in Portugal now, and to a few very special bulls which are indultados – pardoned. There is, however, the inescapable fact that they

would almost certainly end up in the slaughterhouse anyway – and they are not, I assure you, nice places. When I was first taken, by a friend, to a bullfight, I was shown the great, evilsmelling brutes in the bullpens before the event, then was spellbound by the brav-

ery and, yes, sheer lunacy of the toreros, by their grace and elegance, in the face of imminent danger. Most of them end up in hospital several times in the course of a career. Whether it is the near-suicidal casualness of José Tomás, the elegance of Enrique Ponce or El Juli, the aristocratic grace of Fran Rivera (whose father was the last famous matador to be killed in the ring) or the cheeky smile of El Cordobés, most Spaniards have their favourite. A brand new, allweather plaza is about to be inaugurated at Villena, the latest of several recent constructions. You can see a corrida on the telly, of course, but until you have actually been there, savoured the atmosphere, the music, the beautiful girls who are invariably there, had food and wine passed to you by a complete stranger, you should not be quick to criticise. Let’s not campaign (uselessly – just look at the crowds at Madrid’s Las Ventas, or Sevilla’s Maestranza) for abolition, much better sense would be to ask for changes in what is known, after all, as El festejo nacional – ‘The National Festivity.’


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Friday, 11th March, 2011

DO YOU REMEMBER…? 19. Gold and silver milk bottle tops 20. Snowball ( Alcoholic drink) 21. Milk tray man 22. Emma Peel ( avengers) 23. 8 track car stereos 24. Tank tops and budgie jackets 25. Lava lamps 26. Trumpton

By Alan Gilchrist Costa Blanca’s Top Hypnotherapist

After the last article was published I was inundated with more trivia about the past. Keep them coming by contacting me on trivia@alangilchrist.com. Everyone loves remembering trivia about the past so I thought I would devise an ongoing quiz that (almost) everyone can join in. For the younger ones / those young at heart just say the words to your partners or parents and watch their faces light up. Then just sit back and listen to their stories about what it meant to them!

6. Kiss me quick hats 7. Clive Dunn ( Singing “Grandad”) 8. James Bond model cars 9. Leather school bags 10. Green acres ( Tv Programme) 11. Garters for stockings 12. Proper handkerchiefs 13. Jensen violet 14. Stilts 15. Coco the Clown

49. Itchy peas ( rose hips) 50. Postmans knock 51. Crown topper wigs 52. Bex Bissel carpet cleaner 53. Tuck shops at school 54.Lying on your back on the grass and thinking "That cloud looks like a..."

27. Hatch going into the kitchen from the living room 28. The film you could put over a TV to make it look as if it was in colour 29. Standard Lamps 30. Ponchos and angora jackets 31. Cheese fondue sets 32. Arthur Negus (Going for a Song) and the false Song Thrush 33. Cloth nappies and plas-

Count all the ones that you remember- not the ones you were told about by your parents! 1. Bow ties on elastic 2. Usherettes in cinemas 3. Wicker furniture 4. Leather strops for shaving 5. Ford Anglias

tic pants 34. Golden shot ( Bernie the bolt) 35. Quilts and eiderdowns instead of duvets 36. Bill and Ben ( little weed) 37. Vespa scooters ( and Lambretta) 38. The parkie ( watching out for them) 39. Henry Winterman cigars

16. Will Hay 17. Sunlight soap 18. Fish and chips on a Friday night wrapped in newspaper

40. Kaleidescopes 41. Stamp collection ( every one had a penny black ) 42. Jackanory 43. Rolf Harris and Jake the peg 44. Boomerangs 45. Swing ball 46. Scrumpy 47. Jesus sandals and love beads 48. Sitting in the bath to shrink your jeans

55. Mary Mungo and Midge 56. Trolls 57. The Nana Mouskouri show 58. Tortoises as pets. 59. Wills Whiffs and navy cigarettes 60. That was the week that was ( Millicent Martin ) If you remembered 0-10 = You're still young If you remembered 10-25 = You are getting older If you remembered 25-40= Don't tell your age If you remembered 40 - 60 = You're older than everyone ! If anyone wants to send in their suggestions, send them to me at trivia@alangilchrist.com


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Friday, 11th March, 2011

LARGE COFFEES AND LOTS OF NOISE

Coffee makes you see the world differently sometimes...

Another cigarette exits my packet. Then my lighter disappears. I am in Juande cafeteria in the Glorieta Square in Santa Pola. Juan, the owner and ‘when I feel like it’ waiter wanders off with a puff of smoke to chat with another customer at another table in this typically Spanish hostelry – and with my lighter. I’m here because it’s my escape. My bolthole. Places to sit and write with a large coffee amongst good people – and where else can you sit all day and have a couple of coffees to interrupt the chat without getting a piercing look from the owner. Ok it will cost me a few

ciggies during the day too (and probably a lighter) but it’s a small price to pay when you’re enveloped by what is best in Spain - the traditional and the cultural. Outside of the front door, the recently extended Glorieta Square leads to the impressive five hundred year old castle – and Juan’s twin brother stands idly chatting with another local – with my lighter... The noise inside is incredible as mostly housewives joust for their particular piece of knowledge to be heard before and above all others. The rest of us raise our voices to be heard over the din, therefore

DRINKING MAKES YOU A WINNER According to a survey, the more successful you are - the more likely you are to turn to drink. If this is true, and I have no reason to doubt it, then I have the privilege of living amongst some of the successful people in the world. Another survey (this is obviously the business to be in) declared that the average adult is drinking over his/her weekly allowance and will be liable to suffer the consequences in the form of ill health in the future. Yet another stated that we all eat too much red meat and will lead us to an early coronary (although what James Bond has got to do with it I don’t know). It seems we need to watch what we eat and drink but as one of my neighbours says, ‘I don’t drink more than my daily allowance – I’m just a few years ahead…’

increasing the overall volume that bit more. You’d think it’d be impossible to get any work done at all but for some reason I can get more done in a couple of hours (read six…) in there than I can all day at home. Juan and his wife Loles have run the café for the past twenty-five years having converted it from a general store in 1983. Juan’s parents had opened the General Store in 1930 and ran it for the next 53 years, supplying the town with everything from light bulbs to Goldfish, in fact the front of the building appeared in the major Spanish feature film ‘The man with the white umbrella’ in

1959. Nowadays, Juan and Loles enjoy the Brits as customers too, and says Loles; the British always have two cups of coffee with their breakfast which is very rare with the Spanish and of course they drink a lot more beer than the locals but they are always polite and friendly and we always ask them to practice their Spanish with us. Next time you are in Santa Pola – call in (offer Juan a ciggie and you will be a friend for life) and taste a bit of Spanish life and culture over a wonderfully, steaming, enormous Café con Leche – ladies, they do not come bigger than Juan’s …

SMOKE IT OR CHUCK IT?

When I read that the West Indies cricket team got stoned last week it didn’t come as a great surprise even though they are currently playing in the world cup, but I thought it might make an interesting news article. But when I found out it was disgruntled Bangladesh fans that had THROWN stones at the team bus ‘cracking two windows’ creating the headline, ‘WEST INDIES TEAM STONED’, I lost interest…then I read more and read that the fans had thought it was their own team’s bus they were stoning because they were so disgusted with the Bangladesh team performance…and we moan about them booing in England.

Have you been smokin...?

COURIER Recipe of the week

What's he got to do with it..?

Cheese on Toast Place cheese on top of bread and place in oven. Grill until it goes all nice.

NOT CIVIL TO THE GUARDIA

It had all started so well. A sunny afternoon, me putting up a fence in the garden while Mrs Jones and Meg (my dogs) soaked up some rays. Then the Guardia turned up. At first it wasn’t clear what exactly I’d done wrong to deserve the presence of two officers of the crown at my gate, but here they were. Apparently someone had smashed into a car and left the scene pretty rapidly, forgetting to fill out the accident form and disappearing into the distance. Apparently, that someone was me. Now at this point they asked to see my car, so I showed them. ‘No, the other car,’ said one of them with very bushy eyebrows (I actually wondered how he could see me but I bet they are handy in the summer…). I offered the (honest) excuse that I didn’t have

another but (apparently) I had acquired a BMW (black) with significant frontal damage. It didn’t matter what I said they insisted that I must have hidden it somewhere…all this was getting hard to take, especially with his eyebrows moving up and down as he talked. Eventually, he agreed to look at my ID and realised that my name, and the guy’s they were looking for, were completely different. At last, some common sense was going to prevail (I thought) but I was on another train of though completely to eyebrows and his mate. My ID was false. It was checked, by phone, by radio all he failed to do was hold it up to my face and compare but they were not having it. Despite my protestations I was heading for the cooler (I know but it’s the only way I can get my name in the same sentence as Steve McQueen…) and

arrangements were made (by them) for me to be taken away. My knights in shining armour turned out to be the Local Police, who arrived in the nick (geddit?) of time and called me ‘Dave,’ I almost replied with an ‘I love you’ as eyebrows whipped his head between the two of us lost in the confusion. My friendly boys in blue began a serious sounding, although I could only hear whispers, conversation, about me. The looks over the shoulder from all the officers were still unnerving; especially eyebrows and I began to worry for my future once again. Stripy pyjamas are just not me, especially the ones with arrows on. Anyway, to keep a long story long, it turned out that I didn’t have a BMW, hadn’t crashed and legged it and I was, in fact, the bloke that it said I was. Bit like Ronseal really. So

everyone was happy once again, although eyebrows and co’ didn’t offer an apology but they did shake my hand over the gate. It was at that point that Mrs Jones decided to put in an appearance and put her front paws on the top of the gate – eyeballing eyebrows – and then it happened. To give him credit he took it well and returned to his car without another word. Mrs Jones, for her part, had let out the longest belch I’ve heard from any animal, let alone a Great Dane, into his face. It was compounded by the noise of her cheeks rattling against her gums by the force of the escaping air, and Eyebrows er, eyebrows being pushed against his forehead. I don’t expect Eyebrows to hold a grudge, but just in case, if anyone can bake a nice jam sponge, with a file in it…


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Friday, 11th March, 2011

SLOW DOWN MEANS MORE ACCIDENTS SAY EXPERTS By Spike

Deputy Prime Minister Alfredo Perez Rubalcaba said cars running on gasoline will use 15 per cent less fuel at the new speed limit, saving an estimated 1.5€ billion in oil imports and they will also cut the price of commuter and short-distance rail tickets by 5 per cent to encourage drivers to leave their cars at home but it’s the decision to lower the speed limit, which is effective from March 7th, that has sparked some fierce debate

in Spain, and not only by racing drivers. Mr Bean… I mean, Prime Minister Jose Luis Rodriquez Zapatero urged Spaniards to support the measure. But drivers associations have predicted that the measure will actually increase the already stunning amount of accidents on Spanish roads. They reminded the government that that was the case when the speed limit was dropped to 110kmh during the 1976 oil crisis. Spain's conservative opposition

Popular Party of course opposed the measures and described the scheme as "Soviet" saying alterations to the nation's road signs Slower means safer

would be time consuming and costly and that the country as a whole would lose out on £425 million in tax income. The government has also had to face a backlash from two of its wealthiest regions over the plans to implement energy saving measures Madrid and Catalonia have both refused to cut rail fares on commuter trains in their regions arguing that the costs would be "unbearable" at a time when they are battling to reduce burgeoning debt.

I WAS going slow...

NOT SO FAST!

F1 Champ Alonso slams the government for going down the wrong track ago that it would lower effective measures to By Dave Bull Spanish Formula One driver Fernando Alonso has slammed the Spanish government's decision that would lower the national speed limit to 110kmh with the two times F1 world champion warning that it will be "difficult to stay awake" at that speed. The socialist government announced two weeks

the speed limit on motorways from 120kmh as an emergency, and temporary, energy-saving measure due to the everincreasing oil prices brought about by the current turbulence in the Middle East. In an outburst at the government’s decision to slow drivers down the exworld champion said at a press conference last week, ‘I don't support this measure,’ adding, ‘there are other much more

reduce fuel consumption than this one. At 110km an hour (68mph), it is even difficult to stay awake.’ The 29-year-old from Oviedo, in Spain's northern region of Asturias is more used to skirting the track at speeds in excess of 300kmh and won the Formula One title in 2005 and 2006 when he was driving for Renault. He now drives for Ferrari and will be seen driving (very slowly) around Oviedo from now on….maybe...

Alonso prefers to go a little faster


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Friday, 11th March, 2011

TONY MAYES …says it like it is. A NEW BARMY ARMY?

Does the money actually reach those who need it I bet all of you who heard the news recently that Britain was giving overseas aid to some of the richest countries in the world - Russia, China and India couldn't believe what you were hearing. I certainly couldn't. No doubt these countries were on the list thanks to barmy Labour who couldn't spend our money fast enough, and was politically motivated. But none-the-less, it is an absolute insult to the British public today with the Government trying to screw the last penny out of us to pay off massive debts. Russia and China in particular must be laughing all the way to the bank knowing that they are being made even richer thanks to the pure stupidity of round the bend British politicians who should be driven off to a more appropriate place and kept in strait jackets. Firstly, how dare politicians dream of giving any aid to a country that has nuclear weapons, or has a space programme? If that nation prefers to spend money on such programmes rather than on its own people then we should turn our back on them.

Many of these appalling countries have a political elite living in absolute luxury and caring nothing for the people they are ruling. If the super-rich living in luxury in places like India and Pakistan were to pay taxes at the same rate as in Western countries and it was properly distributed among those living below the poverty line there would be no problem. Let us now look at the situation in most of the African nations. We've all seen those heart-breaking pictures of babies and small children dying through starvation and disease. I can remember at school seeing similar pictures of African children and every year there is an outpouring of emotion that we must help as much as we can. But what happens to all these billions which have gone to the bottomless pit of Africa over the generations? Much of it goes into the bank accounts of the leaders of hateful regimes. Some of it is syphoned off to pay for arms so that one tribe can war with another or one tin-pot nation can have

a pop at another. I'm being simplistic here, but for people living at or below the poverty line with little or no money for food, there is little to give people comfort other than sex and that has led to millions of people in Africa suffering from HIV and AIDS and for a baby to be born every year a woman is fertile. How much better it would be if that starving child with hours to live was never born in the first place. If we are really going to make a difference in Africa aid should be in the form of trade, in education to teach people how to prevent children being born when the parents have not the means to support them, and for contraceptives to be provided freely to all. Couple this with practical help to combat disease and to provide abundant, clean drinking water and you would be well on the way to helping Africa out of its misery. I, like all of you, hate seeing pictures of starving children. But just throwing money at these countries wasn't the answer when I was a child and it isn't today.


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Friday, 11th March, 2011

THE SPOILS OF WAR

Franco's forgotten family live on in luxury – still making the most of the nation’s ‘gifts’ 35 years after his death

That'll take some pruning - the impressive gardens

Not a bad pad - Pazo de Meiras By Spike On his deathbed in November 1975, Franco bequeathed a wealth of items and assets to his heirs including his palace, the Pazo de Meiras, a vast country palace, "donated" to General Franco at the end of the 1936-39 Civil War. The property, which dates from the late 19th century, passed to his heirs and is still used as a country retreat by his daughter and grandchildren. But now the regional government wants to kick out Franco’s descendants and wants the place recognised as a place of historical and cultural value and they insist it is opened to the public. However, the Francos are less than keen and, so far; the family has refused

with the matter now being dealt with in the courts. The row has now sparked a national debate over whether the descendants of Franco, a dictator of whom it is claimed was responsible for the deaths of 300,000 people during the civil war and ensuing rule, should be allowed to continue enjoying the riches of his regime. Authorities in Galicia have been trying for several years to evict the Franco family from Pazo but thirty five years after the death of Dictator Francisco Franco, Spain is still battling for his family to return the assets to the nation. Francisco Franco died having handed power back to the king but the question of what to do with the family of a dictator after the fall of the regime is still a sore point in

Carmen Franco Polo

Interior hallway

Eat well in the dining room Spain. It is starting to grate on many that General Franco's heirs enjoy privileges and wealth despite the nation's transition to democracy on his death in 1975. Following his death, the transitional government judged it better to encourage forgiveness than to stir antagonism that could endanger the newly formed democracy. As a result a tacit "pact of silence" was introduced to avoid recriminations over what went on before it still goes on to this day and trying to get a Spanish person to talk to me candidly about those years has been very difficult. In those years since his death the heirs of Franco have done very well for themselves, thank you very much, profiting from construction projects on land once confiscated by the fascist dictator. The family

worth is estimated at somewhere between £244 million and £406 million but, surprisingly, there are no official records. More and more often these day there are regular calls for the Francos to return other properties given to (taken by?) the dictator including a 2,000m2 palace outside Madrid and the 18th-century palace of Cornilde in Corunna. Just three years ago Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero, the Socialist prime minister and grandson of a republican executed by Franco's soldiers, decreed that the state funding for the Franco Foundation run by Carmen Franco Polo, 83 year-old daughter of the dictator was cut. Nothing is straightforward in Spain we know that and this story is going to run and run…watch this space.


Friday, 11th March, 2011

SOMETHING NICE AND IRISH…

11

ST PATRICK Taken Prisoner by Irish Raiders

What is known about this fella (that we should all thank for providing one of the best day’s -or two - in the calendar year) is that St. Patrick was born in Britain to wealthy parents near the end of the fourth century and believed to have died on March 17, around 460 A.D. Although his father was a Christian deacon, it has been argued that he probably took on the role because of tax incentives (so he had two sets of books…?) and there is no evidence that Patrick came from a particularly religious family. At the age of sixteen, Patrick was taken prisoner by a group of Irish raiders, who were attacking his family's estate, whom transported him to Ireland where he spent six years in captivity. (There is some dispute over where this captivity took place but many believe he was taken to live in Mount Slemish in County Antrim, it is more likely that he was held in County Mayo near Killala.) During this time, he worked as a shepherd, outdoors and away from people and lonely and afraid, he turned to his religion for solace, becoming a devout Christian. (It is also believed that Patrick first began to dream of converting the Irish people to Christianity during his captivity.)

‘St. Patrick was born in Britain and lived there until he was a teenager’…bovvered? Guided By Visions After more than six years as a prisoner, Patrick escaped and according to his writing, a voice which he believed to be God's-spoke to him in a dream, telling him it was time to leave Ireland. Patrick walked nearly 200 miles from County Mayo, where it is believed he was held, to the Irish coast and after escaping to Britain, Patrick reported that he experienced a second revelation-an angel in a dream tells him to return to Ireland as a missionary. Soon after, Patrick began religious training, a course of study that lasted more than fifteen years and after his ordination as a priest, he was sent to Ireland with a dual mission; to minister to Christians already living in Ireland and to begin to convert the Irish (Interestingly, this mission contradicts the widely held notion that Patrick introduced Christianity to Ireland).

Bonfires and Crosses Familiar with the Irish language and culture, Patrick chose to incorporate traditional rituals into his lessons of Christianity instead of attempting to eradicate native Irish beliefs. For instance, he used bonfires to celebrate Easter since the Irish were used to honouring their gods with fire. He also superimposed a sun, a powerful Irish symbol, onto the Christian cross to create what is now called a Celtic cross, so that veneration of the symbol would seem more natural to the Irish. (Although there were a small number of Christians on the island when Patrick arrived, most Irish practiced a nature-based pagan religion. The Irish culture centred on a rich tradition of oral legend and myth. As always with saints (not the footy or rugby clubs) it comes as no surprise that the story of Patrick's life has been exaggerated over the centuries-spinning exciting tales to remember history has always been a part of the Irish way of life.

ST PATRICK'S DAY @SHENANIGANS All Irish Products - Pints - Guiness Pints/Bottles Magners - Baileys Jamesons etc Only 2.50€ Cheltenham races all day followed by Just Bono - 9.30pm

Come down an enjoy our St Patricks day menu with live entertainment from 8pm. Masa square, above Supervalue, Gran Alacant. Reservations 963 144 033


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Friday, 11th March, 2011

NO WATER SHORTAGE THIS YEAR By Sally Bengtsson The desalination plants in Murcia have been put on leave for the time being, due to a variety of factors: the huge amount of rainfall that the region has experienced over the last few months, the economic slowdown and the drop in the number of visitors to the area. Last week just one of the five desalinators, which were designed to supply the province of Murcia and the south of Alicante, was working. Two have been switched off for the last few months, and for the time being there is no need for them to be switched on soon. Two in San Pedro will restart this week after routine maintenance. The one functioning plant in Alicante is generating 600,000 cubic metres of drinking water a day, reaching an average of 200,000 people. Over the last seven years the government has invested 962 million euros in building 7 desalination plants, to cover water shortages when the Seguro River gets shallow-

er. However the economic crisis has meant that people have been cutting costs wherever they can, and this includes trying to save money on their water bill. Farmers have to weigh up whether irrigating a crop is financially viable, and the construction industry is obviously using much less water this year and last. Still, it’s reassuring to know that should there be a drought this summer, the regions of Murcia and Alicante have their backs covered.

COMPUTER HACKER ARRESTED FOR BLACKMAILING OVER 600 TEENAGERS By Sally Bengtsson

Last Sunday Spanish police arrested a young man in Almeria province, who had been blackmailing underage Internet users in a nude picture scam. The 20year-old from the town of Viator near Almeria told users of Internet he was a hacker who would publish their photos on porn sites unless they sent him nude pictures or stripped in front of a webcam. Police did not reveal his identity but said they seized "976 videos featuring minors strip-

ping" and a large number of CDs and DVDs with naked and half-naked minors. The investigation that led to his arrest was launched after a 12-year-old girl from the northern town of Oviedo complained of sexual harassment while on a social network. He was suspected of having made contacts with more than 600 girls, aged between 12 and 17, in various parts of the country since 2007. To avoid being traced he had created over 500 different profiles on different social networks using a variety of different email addresses.

PARAMOUNT PLANS TO BE BEST PARK IN EUROPE

ALICANTE- NEW CULTURAL CENTRE TO HOST 90TH ANNIVERSARY OF BRITISH LEGION

By Sally Bengtsson

Within the next couple of weeks, Alicante will welcome two new cultural attractions. On 16th March the Auditorium of Alicante (ADDA) will open its doors in the city centre and will host concerts, conferences and children's events. One of the first shows to take place at the centre will be a charity event to mark the

90th anniversary of the Royal British Legion. Then on 22nd March, next to the 14th century St. Mary's Church in the old town square, the Museum of Contemporary Art of Alicante will open in the former Casa de la Asegurada, a 17th century baroque palace which has had a glass and concrete extension built on to it. The

Pedro Alberto Cruz, the Murcia government’s councillor for culture and tourism, has announced that construction of the Paramount Studios theme park set for Alhama de Murcia will begin at the end of this year or the beginning of 2012. He museum will house a per- described it as an exciting and amazing manent collection of 20th project and confirmed that the official century art by Picasso, presentation of the park’s design will be Braque, Chagall, Dali, Gris in Murcia on March 25th. It’s understood and Miró as well as local that Paramount’s Executive Viceart work and temporary President, Michael Bartok, will be in the exhibitions. The new audi- Region for the presentation. torium will start off with the It was revealed earlier this week that the Festival of Original Version outline design shows four hotels built around Films, running until 26th a 36.5 hectare theme park, plus an aquatic May. Entrance to the muse- park covering almost 10 hectares. Its size um will be free and is open will be similar to that of Disneyland in Paris. 10am to 8pm Tuesdays to But what exactly will the park consist of? Saturdays and from 10am The outline design pictured four zones for to 2pm on Sundays. leisure and entertainment, one of which will

be a children’s interactive fantasy woodland. The main themes will be characters from Paramount films, which include Lara Croft, Titanic, The Italian Job and Congo. The idea is that visitors will become the main characters of these star studded films, using the latest technology and audio-visual equipment. According to the architects, 90% of the attractions have already been decided on. A car chase is planned to feature in the Italian job area. The designers want the whole concept to be brand new, with nothing copied from other theme parks. The restaurants and bars within the park will be open until well into the early hours, fitting in perfectly with the Spanish lifestyle. The idea of building a water park within the complex hasn’t been decided yet. Paramount in America is working hand in hand with the designers here to ensure this really does become the best theme park in Europe.

EL HONDO’S SURVIVAL The very survival of the El Hondo reserve is called into question as the three-cornered row between the owners of 80% of the park, ‘Riegos de Levante,’ Elche Ayuntamiento, and the Environmental arm of the Valencian Community rumbles on. Contamination and low water-levels, interconnected problems, threaten the reserve, which is home to two of Europe’s rarest ducks, the Marbled Duck and the White-headed Duck, and is a resting place for thousands of migrants and wintering birds. If Spanish authorities can ever be made to realise the potential value of ‘ecotourism’ they may find ways to overcome these idiotic spats.


Friday, 11th March, 2011

GREAT OUTDOORS

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MISSING STUDENT FOUND DEAD

BODY FOUND IN RIVER – AUTOPSY BEING CARRIED OUT

Police have the body of American student, Austin Taylor Bice, who was last seen as he said goodbye to some friends outside a disco in Madrid's Paseo Virgen del Puerto. Bice went missing on February 25th, in the River Manzanares in Madrid and the young man's body shows no immediate signs of violence. An autopsy is being carried out to determine the cause of death. The National Police were draining the Manzanares River last week searching of the 22-year-old, found the body near the place where he was last seen close to La Riviera Keep an eye on the sky (not while crossing the road) from now on, as birds of prey club in Madrid. tend to pass by – you may get lucky and see a Short-toed Eagle. It’s a daft name, as Austin Taylor Bice from San you can’t measure their toes, but they are big pale eagles, with a large, dark head. Diego and had been studying Economics and Management at Madrid's Universidad Carlos III since January as part of an exchange scheme with San Diego State University and on February IMPORTANT INFORMATION FOR RESIDENTS OF ORIHUELA COSTA If you haven’t already registered to Alternatively visit her in the Green Party 25th he decided to go out with vote in the May 22nd elections it is still office in Las Filipinas, Urb. Pueblo some friends, saying goodbye to possible to do so through “reclama- Principe, first floor of the Rendez-vous them between twelve and one ciones”. If you contact Martina Bar building. Office hours are Monday to o'clock, after being refused entry to a nightclub near the Scheurer, spokesperson for the Green Friday 10am to 2pm. Party, she will go with you to the Town Look out next week for out in depth Manzanares River because he was drunk. His father came over from California to Hall to help you through the proce- interview with Martina talking about the Madrid to help the search along with other dure. policies the Green Party will adopt to relatives and friends and staff from the U.S. Her telephone number is 686 107 246. improve the whole of Orihuela Costa.

STOP PRESS

Embassy and the National Police. The family will repatriate the body to the United States for burial.


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Friday, 11th March, 2011

PUT THEM LIGHTS BACK ON! REGIONAL GOVERNMENTS SLAM GOVERNMENT FOR LACK OF CONSULTATION By Spike

The Catalan government led by the centre right party has said it is ‘not happy’ with the measures that were announced without consultation from the central government to save energy. And now the Popular Party run Madrid regional government has come out and said that some of the measures would be ineffective as, for example, the reduction in train fares would only cover four per cent of public transport trips yet would cost regional authorities around 45€ million. Catalonia is traditionally the wealthiest region in Spain after Madrid and at present is struggling to control an increasing debt which last year rose by 24.2 per cent to 29.5€ billion The government has been forced to do

a U-turn over one of its other controversial ideas: its pledge to reduce street lighting by half has now been left in the dark after highway watchdogs argued it could lead to an increase in road traffic accidents. So now rather than switching off lit areas or reducing the hours of illumination the government said it would consider a move to replace street lamps with energy saving light bulbs – I think the UK Army has got a few for sale... José Ignacio EcheverrÃa, regional transport minister for Catalonia said, "It's strange to be asked to cut fares when the cost of transport is actually rising," but a spokesman for the Catalan government, Francesc Homs, had the final dig stating, ‘They invite you to a coffee; you drink it, and they tell you you have to pay for it."

WATTS IN A LIFETIME? A regular bulb lasts approximately 6000 hours and a fluorescent could last 11,000 to 20,000 hours so, or in other words they last for years. Fluorescent bulbs are allegedly better because they use less power. They use about 13 watts compared to a 60 watt bulb which is an average light bulb. Try counting the lights in your house and multiply that by 60 watts or by 13 watts and you'll see the power you'll save using fluorescents. But you can’t win really as the one downfall of fluorescents that most people don't know is that they have mercury in them which is not very good for the environment either…


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Friday, 11th March, 2011

IMMIGRATION IN SPAIN

Spain in 1970 was a little different Sally Bengtsson Immigration became part of the Spanish government's agenda in 1985, but it was not until the mid-1990s that it became a matter of vital importance to political elites and in the eyes of the public, and one of the most hotly contested issues in the media, and the second most important "national" issue for Spaniards after terrorism. Professor Nieves Ortega Pérez explains the history of Migration in Spain: In the period 1850-1950, 3.5 million Spanish, mainly temporary workers, left for the Americas from three main areas: Galicia, Asturias, and the Canary Islands. Argentina received more than 1.5 million of these emigrants, and others went to Uruguay, Brazil, and Cuba. Spanish emigration to North Africa, though less well known, also took place from areas such as Murcia and the Balearic Islands. Algeria was the chosen destination of 94,000 Spanish emigrants in the last years of the 19th century. This flow shifted to Morocco after the establishment of the Spanish protectorate there in the period 1916-1919. During that period, some 85,000 Spaniards were counted, a number that rose to 250,000 when taking into account the residents of Cueta, Malilla and Tanger. Spain's migration flows in the 20th century changed radically in two different ways. First, the destinations of Spanish emigrants shifted dramatically. In the course of the century, some six million Spaniards left their country of origin, and until the 1930s, 80 percent chose to go to the Americas. From the 1950s to the mid-1970s, however, 74 percent chose the countries of Northern Europe. Second, in the last third of the 20th century, Spain evolved from its traditional role as a sending country and, increasingly, a transit country for migrants headed north. Spain became a receiving country for foreign labourers, mostly from Northern Africa and Latin America, and for well-to-do immigrants from other EU countries, such as

retirees. The inversion of Spanish migration flows was brought about by the international economic crisis of the early 1970s. While the number of emigrants fell, the number of immigrants continued to increase at a steady pace. From 1961 to 1974, at the height of the guest worker programs in Europe, about 100,000 people emigrated each year. Since then, the numbers indicate that Spain's period of high emigration has ended, with total departures falling off from 20,000 per year to just over 2,000 annually in recent years.

‘in 1850-1950 3.5 million Spanish workers left for the Americas’ Spain's development into a country of immigration was part of a larger regional phenomenon. In the late 1980s, in the midst of economic crisis and the accompanying high unemployment, Mediterranean countries of Europe such as Spain, Portugal, and Italy, hitherto "way stations" or "waiting rooms" became receiving countries. The number of foreign residents in Spain increased significantly in the last quarter of the 20th century. From 1975 to 1985, the increase was a moderate average of 2.2 percent annually. From 1985 to 1991 the foreign population rose an average of seven percent annually. By 1992, this figure had climbed to 10 percent annually. From 1992 to 2000, the numbers of people from developing countries increased 214 percent annually, much higher than the 60 percent increase in the number of foreigners from industrialized nations. As the 2001 data show, the countries of origin of resident foreigners have shifted significantly in a short time. Moroccans and Ecuadorans have become the two largest nationalities, even as immigration from other EU countries continues to account for a

large share of the total. Even in the mid-1990s, half of all resident foreigners were European (Table 1). Of this percentage, the largest groups were from EU member countries: the United Kingdom (23 percent); Germany (17 percent); and Portugal (12 percent), whereas immigrants from Eastern Europe accounted for only four percent. Africans accounted for 19 percent, most than three fourths of them Moroccans. The latter group has seen the largest and most sustained increase over the last 25 years, to the point of becoming the most numerous foreign nationalities in Spain at this time. People from the Americas also saw their numbers grow at a constant pace, as they came to account for about 21 percent of all foreigners. Traditional groups such as Argentines, Venezuelans, and Chileans decreased as a relative share of the Latin American population, while others such as Peruvians, Dominicans, and Cubans saw their numbers grow more quickly. In absolute terms, there were few people from North America (United States, Canada, and Mexico) or Oceania. The relative share of the population of Asian origin diminished. More recently, the proportion of Europeans among all foreign residents declined to 40.4 percent in 2000, and the African proportion increased to 29 percent. The difference between the number of Europeans and Africans, the two largest foreign communities, has diminished not because fewer Europeans have arrived, but because the African population has increased much more rapidly. The number of European immigrants increased 105,735 from 1995 to 2000, surpassing even the population increase for Latin Americans, which was 91,033. At the same time, there was an increase of 165,660 in the number of Africans. People from the Americas accounted for 22 percent of the total, Asians eight percent, and persons from Oceania an almost invisible 0.1 percent. The remainder of those counted were stateless people.

Spain's undocumented population is estimated to be over 200,000. In 2001, resident foreigners in Spain accounted for 2.5 percent of the total population, and saw one of the largest annual increases in their numbers (23.81 percent) in recent years. The biggest communities of resident foreigners were Moroccans (234,937), Ecuadorians (84,699), the British (80,183), Germans (62,506), Colombians (48,710), French (44,798), and Portuguese (42,634). These figures reflect the increasing size of the traditional Moroccan community, as well as the trend of increased immigration from Latin America. The fact that neither of the top two nationalities was an EU country, as had been the case just five years ago, brings Spain more in line with the tradition of immigration from third (i.e. non-EU) countries, a tradition also visible in other European Union countries.

‘Even in the mid-1990s, half of all resident foreigners were European’ Two points should be noted with respect to the settlement patterns of foreigners in Spain. First, immigrants have little mobility. By and large, immigrants tend not to move once they have settled. Second, the regions with the largest numbers of resident foreigners remained unchanged throughout the 1990s. Specifically, the "Mediterranean Autonomous Communities" of Catalonia, Valencia, Murcia, and Andalusia, as well as Madrid continue to host the largest numbers of immigrants. While migrants from other countries of the European Union are allowed to work in Spain, under the provisions of the Maastricht Treaty, workers from non-EU countries require a work permit, although many immigrants work illegally in Spain. Legal and unauthorized migrants are playing an increasing role in Spain's economy.


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Friday, 11th March, 2011

WHAT THE SPAN

WHO’S A NAUGHTY RICH BOY?

A group of fashion bloggers has claimed that the Inditex group, which owns Zara, copied photographs from the internet to use on T-shirt designs which were then sold in their shops. Inditex, which is one of the world's largest fashion retailers, owning Zara stores and several other global chains, has now withdrawn a series of T-shirts from its shops after bloggers complained the company was copying their photographs from the internet. The T-shirts were hurriedly removed from the Inditex group's Stradivarius stores after complaints from teenage fashion and style bloggers who said the company was using the photographs they posted of themselves on their sites without permission or paying anything. The remarkable similarity between the T-shirt pictures and those on sites run by 19-year-old Swiss fashion blogger Michèle K and France's Louise Ebel left the Spanish company unable to deny the allegations. Michèle K said "It is a pity that they did it behind the back of me and all the other bloggers, I feel a bit angry about it just because of the fact that they didn't had my permission to use my picture. It would be no problem if they asked me, but they didn't. And that's kind of a lack of respect, in my opinion." A red-faced spokesman for Inditex confirmed that the Tshirts had been removed from racks stating, "They are from an outside designer, and we are trying to work out exactly what the situa-

tion with these shirts is. The company we used should have got the rights. That would be the norm." Inditex is run by the world's ninth richest man, Spaniard Amancio Ortega and the company has developed a reputation for turning out a vast number of designs every year. This is not the first time that it has been accused of basing some of them on work by famous designers seen on the fashion world's catwalks and, it is not the first time that Inditex chains have been accused of copying from bloggers.

Ebel is apparently reported to be negotiating with the company's lawyers over an image from her blog used by Zara last year, while French style blogger Betty has also reportedly been targeted along with photographers Gerard Estadella and Yvan Rodic who have denounced the company for using their pictures without permission. Inditex insisted it was not company policy to use pictures taken from bloggers without the legal rights, the huge pressure that the company's legion of designers come under may explain why it happens so much.

"Sometimes they cut and paste because they have to finish the job in a rush. They look for a good image online, turn it into a design and try to disguise it a little," she added. "No one asks questions as long as targets are met." Zara is famous for its rapid turnaround of fresh designs, designed to make its stores always full of new clothes. Zara alone produces 40,000 designs a year. Inditex has more than 5,000 stores in 77 countries around the world. Ortega's wealth is reported by Forbes to be $25bn (£15.48bn).


Friday, 11th March, 2011

17

NISH PAPERS SAY

CHE’S MOTORBIKE PARTNER DIES AGED 88

PILAR NEARLY LOSES NEW TOWN HALL By Sally Bengtsson

The torrential rain last week gave the Town Hall workers of Pilar de la Horadada a real shock. Their newly built Town Hall was almost washed away by the floods which appeared in a matter of minutes. The new building is the pride of the ruling government, which only became independent from Orihuela Costa a few years ago. Many of the councillors had to rush to the aid of the threatened building, working hard to

reroute the flood waters, brushing away the incessant torrent in the early hours of last Friday morning. Nevertheless, the basement was badly damaged by the downpour. The following day Mayor Ignacio Ramos pointed out that the cause of the damage was the gaping hole which the private company working on the project had left. He said the building project was sound. The heavy rain and hail also destroyed and damaged local crops and greenhouses in the area.

AIR TRAFFIC CONTROLLERS NOT GROUNDED IN ENGLISH From March 5 Spain air traffic controllers have been told that they either must learn or improve their English and they will be allowed a year’s grace to get up to scratch under the new ruling. It is thought that up to a quarter of Spain’s 2,000 controllers do not have a satisfactory level of the international language used for flying – which would seem rather important don’t you think…?

HELLO, HELLO HELLO,

CHE’S MOTORBIKE PARTNER DIES AGED 88

The-Lock-by-John-Constable - What all the fuss is about A row between the daughter and wife of the late art collector Baron Hans Heinrich von Thyssen over the sale of paintings hanging in Madrid's Thyssen-Bornemisza Granados with Gael who played him in the film The Motorcycle Diaries Museum has created a split in family tensions over his widow's personal collection. Carmen Thyssen, the former Miss Spain, has decided to sell a work by John Constable, The Motorcycle Diaries Alberto Granado, who travelled with Ernesto "Che" Guevara through Latin America on a journey that was immortalized by the Motorcycle Diaries, The Lock, and some of the 240 pictures from her huge private collection which are currently in the museum but in a row that seems set to split the family her stepdaughter Francesca has died at the age of 88 in Cuba. The 1951 journey exposed the two medical students to the deep poverty and social injus- Habsburg declared in a letter published by El País that her stepmother was "unreasonable, tice in much of the continent, which is credited with awakening Guevara's revolutionary spir- and completely isolated from reality". The baroness's collection currently resides in a specially built extension to the museum – it.. The two parted ways in Venezuela, where Granado stayed to work with leprosy patients. Guevara invited Granado to Cuba in 1960 and he decided to move to the island shortly there- where both women are patrons – which was built by Spain's culture ministry seven years ago – it’s reportedly been valued at £600m. after to teach biochemistry at Havana University. He never left.


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Friday, 4th March, 2011

GOTTA HAVE FAITH BUMPER WEEKEND RAFFLE HELPS THE FAITH APPEAL CLIMB

Faith last week after her operation The Grand Auction held at The Easy Horse Care Rescue Centre at Rojales on Saturday 5th March was a huge success and raised 1349€ for Faith, the pony with the poorly leg who appeared in last weeks Courier. She is now in Barcelona and doing well. The Rescue Centre would like to say a BIG THANK YOU to everyone who sup-

ported the Auction on Saturday. This includes very generous donators, buyers, Georgie May who autographed photos and our Auctioneer for the day, Davy Jones from TKO Radio. Many of the larger lots which didn’t sell will be left in the marquee at the Rescue Centre for visitors to view and make an offer on. Some of these include a Gazelle

KIDDIES CORNER

Are there any budding writers out there? Send in your articles, stories or comments and we promise to print the best ones. We will be running a writing competition in the future, details to follow shortly. Meanwhile, here are some bits and pieces to keep you entertained.

Cross-Trainer, A Professional Casio Keyboard, A JVC TV and a Deluxe Timeshare Holiday for one week of the year in Tenerife for Life! This Sunday 13th March, The Rescue Centre will be holding their production of ‘Snow White’ starring seven miniature horses. Come along for a fun day out! We also have Georgie May of Harry Potter

fame narrating the Play for us. After Snow White, we will be drawing a Raffle, so come down to the Centre and get your tickets. You could win a Free Haircut, Shoulder of Lamb, Jewellery or a number of other fantastic prizes. For more information contact Sue on 652021980 or Lesley on 634375710 or check out the Website at www.easyhorsecare.net

COLOUR IT IN AND SEND IT IN! WE WILL PRINT THE BEST


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Friday, 4th March, 2011

INTERESTING WORLD NEWS FOR KIDS Jedward vs. Blue at the 2011 Eurovision Song Contest

BOY BAND BLUE REPRESENT THE UK It’s a battle of the bands at the 2011 Eurovision Song Contest. Boy band Blue will represent the UK with a song called I Can and Jedward will represent Ireland with their track Lipstick. The Eurovision Song Contest will

be held on 14 May in Düsseldorf. Fish bigger than scientists first believed The biggest fish in the sea could be even bigger than we first thought, according to new data. A new way of measuring the giant whale sharks has been developed by scientists working in Mozambique. It is hoped that the new technology will give more accurate readings of the size of these giants. At the moment researchers think that whale sharks grow to around 20m long. These measurements were taken using a tape measure, not an easy job when the giant fish is moving! First person to survive jelly fish sting A 10-year-old-girl is the first person to survive a sting from most poisonous creature in the world; the box jellyfish. Rachael Shardlow, a 10-year-old-girl from Australia, has become the first person in the

world to survive a sting from the world's most poisonous jellyfish. Rachael was swimming in Calliope River in Queensland Australia when she was attacked by the box jellyfish. She called to her 13year-old brother for help who pulled her out of the river as she fell unconscious. Jamie Seymour, a tropical animal specialist from James Cook University was shocked that Rachael survived. He said, "When I first saw the pictures of the injuries I just went, 'you know to be honest, this kid should not be alive. I mean they are horrific."Usually when you see people who have been stung by box jellyfish with that number of the tentacle contacts on their body, it's usually in a morgue." Rachael has some scarring and some short-term memory loss but is expected to make a full recovery. It’s easy to protect the planet! These tips help save limited

INTERESTING FACTS The Mona Lisa has no eye brows. Ketchup used to be as thick as medicine. Babies yawn before they are born. More than 480 million people have played Monopoly. Your heart is about the same size as your fist. Dust from Africa can travel all the way to Florida The longest recorded flight of a chicken is thirteen seconds. If you fell into a black hole, you'd stretch out like spaghetti. There are about a quadrillion ants on Earth. Every year, New York moves 1" further

away from England. A large python can swallow a goat whole. At least 12 rocks from Mars have landed on Earth. Crocodiles often eat rocks. Pigs can get sunburned. The world's lightest mammal-the bumblebee bat- weighs less than a ten centimos. A tiger's skin is striped like its fur. Giant tortoises keep growing their whole lives. Frogs drink through their skin. Pet hamsters can run up to eight miles a night on a wheel. A cat has about 20 muscles in each ear.

TEETH

Who said chickens can't fly

CASTELAR FOOTBALL TEAM SHINE Castelar college on the 16th and 17th of February took part in the second Kings College football tournament. Wednesday the 16th Castelar took the under 11 team to play against Kings United, Kings City, Alicante United and City as well as Marazul. Castelar were successful in defeating all the teams. Antonio Perez of Primary 5 was the top scorer of the tournament and by far the most talented player. Antonio Gabriel of Primary 5 was the tournaments best goalkeeper only letting in 5 goals all tournaments. Captain Milan Peeters collected the cup from the head master of Kings College to a loud applause of the supporting crowds. Thursday the 17th saw our under 9 team take a trip to Kings College to play against Kings United, City and Marazul. Castelar had to play every team twice and were victorious on each occasion with only one draw to Kings City. Antonio Espinosa and Adrian Velasco both of Primary 3b the top scores of the tournament. Agustin Sánchez collected the cup as the under 9s football captain. We would specially like to thank the Peeters family for sponsoring Castelar College with a full set of football strip.

resources such as water and energy. So get green and give the tips a try. Make sure to ask your parents before trying any of these tips! Choose locally grown food. Transporting food long distances wastes fuel and creates extra CO2. Turn off the water while brushing your teeth. Send an e-card instead of a paper card. Say "No bag, thank you." Whether you're buying toys, snacks, or clothes, tell the checkout person you don't need a bag. By carrying your own reusable fabric bag, you'll help reduce the estimated 100 million plastic bags that each year clog sewers, entangle birds, and get swallowed by whales, sea turtles, and other wildlife. Scrape leftovers off the dishes instead of rinsing them. (Wash the dishes soon after.) Take short showers instead of baths. Aim for five minutes—but still get clean! Share these green tips with your

Jokes What is the best way to speak to a monster? From a long way away! How did the farmer fix his jeans? With a cabbage patch What did the father ghost say to the naughty baby ghost? Spook when you're spoken to! Why do golfers take an extra pair of socks? In case they get a hole in one! What do you call two people who embarrass you in front of your friends? Mum and Dad! A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister,

family and friends! Don’t take tips from this boy A 10-year-old Mexican boy glued his hand to his bed to avoid going back to school after the Christmas break, authorities said Monday. "I thought if I was glued to the bed, they couldn't make me go to school," the boy, Diego, told AFP. "I didn't want to go, the holidays were so much fun. I remembered my mom had bought a very strong glue," he said of the industrial strength shoe glue he used to stick his hand to the bed's metal headboard, where he stayed stuck for two hours. His mother Sandra Palacios was unable to free him and called paramedics and police to help. Diego watched cartoons while they worked to unglue him, eventually using a spray to dissolve the chemical adhesive."I don't know why this happened. He is a very good boy," said his mother. Diego eventually made it to school a few hours late.

if they could discuss his use of the car. His father said to him, "I'll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut, then we will talk about it." A month later the boy came back and again asked his father if they could discuss his use of the car. His father said, "Son, I'm real proud of you. You have brought your grades up, you've studied your Bible diligently, but you didn't get hair cut!" The young man waited a moment and replied, "You know Dad, I've been thinking about that. You know Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long hair." His father replied, "Yes son, and they walked everywhere they went!"


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FINALLY SOME GOOD NEWS ABOUT PROPERTY MARKET By Jake Monroe

way. The delays have meant that the opening of the airport has been put back by 10 months and should now open late summer this year. The Costa Blanca has been through a challenging period but seeing the Government and financiers investing in the infrastructure of the province is immensely reassuring for both current and prospective property owners. The growing confidence in the area has led to two Murcia-based property developers announcing plans for new build residential projects in 2011. One, Lake Argos, promises 500 ultra-modern detached homes in a nature reserve (which definitely won’t please the ecologists who have been fighting this project since it was announced 3 years ago) setting, whilst Polaris World is adding 400 new units to its golf-led Murcia property portfolio.

The latest news from the Spanish property market suggests that sales of properties in the Murcia region are experiencing an increase in demand, fuelled by the announcement of the new Paramount theme park to be built in the region. Demand already in 2011 is up over 150% on last year. "We have seen a clear increase in enquiries for property on the Costa Calida, especially along the coast and in the region’s golf resorts," says Mike Price, sales director of one of the biggest building companies in the area. The new airport, under construction in Corvera was touch and go for a few months in 2010 when, amongst other things, funding dried up. It is forging ahead again and The new airport is helping the region's property sales construction is making great head-

SPANISH CABINET ANNOUNCES MEASURES TO SAVE 2.3 MILLION EUROS A YEAR By Jake Monroe Last Friday the Spanish Cabinet approved an energy saving plan aimed at reducing Spain’s oil imports by 28.6 million barrels — 4.5 percent of total imports — annually, which in conjunction with other measures the government estimates will save state coffers up to 2.3 billion euros a year. Among the measures to be introduced, the most controversial has been the reduction of the speed limit on Spanish highways from 120 km/h to 110 km/h. The new mark came into effect on Monday and will remain in force until at least July. “Sometimes it is necessary to take measures, even if they are unpopular,” Deputy Prime Minister Alfredo Pérez Rubalcaba said. “With the price of a litre of petrol at a historical high, at around 1.30 euros, we must save because our economic recovery is on the line. Spain is a country that for a long time has believed

WOMAN WHO KILLED DAUGHTER'S RAPIST GOES FREE A woman convicted of killing her daughter's rapist is to be set free while the government considers issuing an official pardon for the crime Mari Carmen Garcia set fire to the man found guilty of raping her youngest daughter in 1998 when she was 13 years old. The rapist who had been sentenced to nine years for the crime but when he approached his victim's mother at a bus stop near her home in Benjuzar he was on a day release from prison in June 2005. When he then hassled the woman and asked about her daughter, Mrs Garcia flipped and went and got a bottle of petrol, doused him with fuel and then set him alight. He died in hospital from the injuries several days later. But her case won her sympathy across Spain and a judge sentenced her to nine and a half years in jail initially but that was reduced to five years on appeal to the Supreme Court. The court this week agreed to suspend her sentence pending an application for an official pardon for her crime after a

petition bearing 5,000 signatures was handed to judicial authorities in her support after she had served a total of one year and ten days in prison. The ruling, made public last Thursday, the court said suspended her sentence citing "special circumstances" after taking into account that Garcia had no previous record and had pleaded temporary insanity at the time of the offence however the lawyer representing the family of the rapist said it showed "preferential treatment", adding, "It seems that is lawful to take the law into one's own hands and kill people in a premeditated way," said Antonio Martiniz Camacho, representing the family of the deceased.

SPANISH OCEAN VIEW THAT NEVER WAS MORE FRAUD ABROAD NEARLY 100 British families have filed for fraud after being embroiled in a property scandal in Estepona and they accuse a group of British estate agents of illegally taking deposits for the Costa del Sol Estepona Country

energy is free and it isn’t. It is very expensive.” The reduction in oil imports is expected to save the economy in the region of 1.5 billion euros a year. The remainder of the forecast saving will hinge on the rolling out of further energy saving measures, including low-consumption lighting in municipal buildings; a 20 euros subsidy for each tire changed to a more efficient model; and a five percent reduction in regional train fares in Madrid and Catalonia. The government on Friday announced its willingness to pick up the tab for the price cut, estimated at 26 million euros by the Catalan regional government. The switchover to energy saving light bulbs will be immediate in municipalities with fewer than 200 inhabitants, while town halls with over 25,000 on its rolls will have five years to carry out the task. Industry Minister Miguel Sebastián said that 30 million euros is available to fund the scheme.

Club, which, they say, never had the right paperwork to start with. Over seven million euros was put down as deposits for 395 luxury apartments, which never had planning permission and, even worse, the company Ocean View did not even own the land, which is still classified as rustic. The trio of estate agents, David Stewart, Robert Parkes and Colin Thomas have now been called before the courts and must answer charges alongside Spanish promoter, Ricardo Miranda Miret. Most of the alleged victims are, mainly from Northern Ireland and paid between 70,000€ and 80,000€ each to the company between 2005 and 2006 – adding up to a lot of money with two of the investors paying over a million euros each. Lawyer for the victims, Marbella lawyer Antonio Flores, explained that 68 of the 90 victims are linked to the Estepona case, with the rest in the Dominican Republic and Morocco and has called for Prince Albert of Monaco to give evidence as he participated in a promotional event linked to Ocean View. The president of the Dominican Republic has also been called to testify.


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Following the EU smoking b

SMOKING BAN FAILS

Locals move their cafés on to t

Bars are filling the streets with outside areas for smokers

By Spike While most countries have accepted the smoking bans that have swept through Europe and the United States and as we reported last week the Spanish press has been full of stories of the Spanish getting quite a bee in their bonnet about the change. I guess old habits die hard, and Spaniards are some of the heaviest smokers in Europe. However, one bar in Marbella, the rotisserie Asador de Guadalmina, put up signs on January 2 telling customers they could still smoke inside if they wished but soon after, owner José Eugenio Arias Camisón was served notice by the courts. He had originally said he would not close down until the Guardia Civil did so under a court order, which they did. Aria, who has been running the restaurant for 10 years, said he shut his premises 'for the sake of his wife and kids' since he was

told by the police that he would be put behind bars if he refused but he insisted that the closure is only temporary and he intends to appeal, and, he hinted, that he intends to open another type of establishment where customers can smoke, but has not given specifics. He had harsh words to say, criticising the government for its harsh stance on smoking in bars, he likened the law to a 'dictatorship' like 'in Franco's time' after around 20 customers were rounded up in the restaurant when the police raided for the last time. But if you think you are safe in Spain from the PC Brigade – think again as the BARCELONA health authorities have threatened to sue the producers of the musical Hair because of the cast smoking on stage. those responsible for putting on the live show in the city say the actors are not smoking tobacco, but cigarettes made from basil, mint leaves and dried walnut-tree leaves but in typical bureaucratic defiance the local

Enjoying a cigarette in the UK government remains firm in its stance, because it says the scenes promote smoking. …yeah get real, what are they going to do with I Claudius? – call each other names…?

‘health authorities have threatened to sue the producers of the musical Hair because of the cast smoking’ Director Roger Peña called it 'ridiculous', saying ‘“Yes, the actors are smoking, but only herbs, and it's because the musical takes place during the hippie era when people did used to smoke and If we're going to carry on in that vein, we'll end up banning films where actors are seen smoking. We'll end up cutting scenes from Humphrey Bogart films because he's got a cigarette in his hand.”

Hair is based in New York in the mid-1960s and tells the story of a group of hippies who find their values clashing with those of North American society during the time of the Vietnam War and was launched in Barcelona's Apolo Theatre on December 22, 2010, before the recent anti-smoking law came into effect. But the Spanish are nothing if not ingenious and we took to the street this week to see what the bars are doing to fight back against the ban and keep their punters coming to their premises…well sort of. One ingenious bar came up with a smoking van to beat the smoking ban, in which smokers can escape the cold winds and sit in the bar’s white van to have a puff while a nightclub is turning the ban into a money-making exercise by charging customers to go outside to smoke. Anyway take a look – it’s got to be better than standing outside a pub on a damp night in Grimsby?


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ban in public places – SPAIN REACTS

S TO STUB OUT SPANISH

the streets to keep customers content


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editor@thecourier.es Say it. Send it. Phone it. Mail it. or Forget it!

MAKING MY BRAIN ACHE!

WOMEN – CATCH UP

Love the paper, but although I love the puzzles, my 2 favourite ones are VERY difficult to decipher. The numbers on the 2 puzzles I like, code cracker and Spanish-English crossword are very difficult to see - even with the "usual" reading glasses! Most of us here have to wear reading glasses, also the lack of good light is a problem (especially with the low energy bulbs!), so PLEASE can you make these 2 puzzles more legible? Also, where are the answers? Next week? Again, I feel better to give answers the same day as these freebies are not always easy to come by, and lots of us go back to UK at times, so never get to check our answers! Please take this as feedback from a customer - NOT a great big moan!

Apparently the European courts have ruled that its sexist to charge women less for car insurance because they have

less accidents, so all women’s premiums are to rise in line with mens premiums so that they are equal! I kid you not – you couldn’t make this up! There was even a women on the radio (member of the public) who said “well I agree, it’s not fair, I mean not all men have accidents, there are some that don’t, it’s a generalisation – some of my friends are women and they have had accidents”….I mean is there any point in pointing out to these people that insurance premiums are based on statistics and it’s a FACT (God help us we start relying on facts!) that men have more accidents therefore they have (or had until today) higher premiums! So….taking that to its logical end is it ageist for youngsters to have higher premiums?? The Worlds Gone Mad!

Thanks, Pam

A very disgruntled Dr. Richard Foster

OUR ‘BRAIN ACHE’ SCIENTIST SAYS: sorry about that, I will look into it and try a few different formats to see if I can improve the quality.

I know…we won’t be allowed to sing nursery rhymes soon like, ‘Baa, Baa...’ Oh…apparently I can’t… ED.

Why should women pay more insurance...?

NOT A HAPPY BUNNY, Mr Angry joins us this week and has a moan about… well just about everything usually!

MR ANGRY WRITES!

WE ARE TOUGH…REALLY…

ach upset”, and then be subject to ridicule from fellow staff members. What does a girlie have to say? “Women’s problems” and everyone leaves them alone. And what is all this about girlies being able to multi-task? Can they cope with a headache and sex? The answer is NO, so that blows that theory out of the water. Conclusive proof that us blokes handle illness better than the girls I feel.

COMING TO MY CENSUS

Women underestimate the power of man flu... Us blokes often get told that we are wimps when it comes to illness. You know what I mean, the girls come out with all sorts of comments like “you’ve only got a bit of a cold”, “stop moaning”, “us girls don’t have time to be ill” etc. Some girls even deny that Man Flu is a life threatening illness. Well, a survey recently asked people “if you felt a little under the weather, would you be likely to phone in sick”. A higher percentage of females said that they would phone in sick which proves to me that blokes handle illness better. When going back to work after a sickie, a bloke has to make up something like “I had a bit of a flu bug”, or “I had a stom-

It came to my attention recently that Census forms are available in the UK in 57 different languages. Can anybody tell me why? I have been in Spain for nearly 8 years now, but as far as I am aware, the UK is still English speaking. I know the UK is multi-cultural but this is going over the top, or perhaps there is a cunning plan in place thought up by the Government. Perhaps they think that by distributing the

Filling in forms can be tricky...

forms in all these languages it will tempt illegal immigrants to fill them in and be caught out. Well I’m sorry Cameron/Clegg or whoever runs the Country, but it isn’t going to work. When one of these forms drops on the doorstep of a 2 bed semi in West London are all 36 occupants going to register? I think not. I live in Spain and surprise, surprise; I expect official forms to reach me written in Spanish as I live in a Spanish speaking Country. If there is anything I am not sure of I speak to somebody who’s knowledge of Spanish is better than mine, I live in Spain so I should abide by their rules. It’s not a problem, just courtesy. A bit of advice to Cameron/Clegg. Send out the forms in English only, and fine households that don’t send them back. If they then complain that they couldn’t fill it in because they don’t speak English, fine them again for not finding a translator, and keep fining them until they return the form correctly. Or, give them 3 chances and then throw them in prison or deport them if they don’t comply. Another point is to insist that any dealings at social security offices are conducted in English only, no other languages are acceptable. In a very short time people will learn English. Ahh... the benefits system, the subject for a future rant I feel.... Mr Angry from Quesada. (CBFA HQ)

WHAT ARE YOU DOING? MARCH 18TH Why not… Try some Fast, Fun, Food Fundraising Organise a cake sale – a culinary cash-raising classic. Get sponsored to give up chocolate, biscuits or crisps. Host a dinner party for your friends, collecting a donation

to dine. Hold a bake-off and ask for donations to sample the tasty treats. Get sponsored to eat only red food for a day. Organise a master chef competition with all entrants paying a donation.


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IF YOU SHOULD HAVE AN ACCIDENT If the worst happens, it pays to be prepared. Common sense prevails. Make yourself safe and get all the required information, especially from any witnesses. Keep the number of a Spanish friend handy! Don’t get flustered, try to stay calm. Whether or not the police attend is dependent upon the severity of the accident, and whether there are any injuries. Our guide below will stand you in good stead if you find yourself in this unfortunate position. Immediately after an accident: • Of course you must immediately stop. • Put on your high-visibility

jacket (driver and passenger). Do this immediately! • Turn on your hazard lights • Put two warning triangles on the road (you have those right?!) One 50m in front of your car and the other 50m behind. • Do not move the cars until the police arrive unless they are blocking traffic. If that is the case, then take photos of the cars (camera phones are handy!) and possibly mark the positions of the cars if it’s safe to do so. • Exchange details with the other driver; registration number, name, address and insurance company details.

'I said...YOUNG MAN..WHEN YOU'RE DOWN ON YOUR LUCK..’

IF PLAYING FOOTBALL FOR EVERTON WASN’T BAD ENOUGH… …LOUIS SAHA CRASHES FERRARI Everton striker involved in a traffic incident last week

Everton striker Louis Saha, 32, was involved in a traffic incident on 27th February 2011 at 8.54pm.

• Make a note of the license plate numbers of ALL the vehicles and witnesses involved. • Never sign any paperwork unless certain you understand it! If anyone has been injured, you must call an ambulance and the police on 112 (Guardia Civil or 092 (Policia Local). You can use the SOS telephones, located on main roads, or call free from your mobile. If there are no injuries and only minor damage caused there is no need to call the police. If anyone is injured, you should keep them warm and do not move them unless they are in danger.

Carrying a first aid kit in your car is a legal requirement in Spain. Witnesses are obliged to contact emergency services and help until the authorities arrive. If the police do come, they will make an accident report. Help them in any way you can. The accident report In the event of a minor accident, the drivers involved must exchange details and write a summary of events, for submission to the insurance companies. If the drivers involved do not agree about how the accident happened you must call the police. Do not sign anything you do not understand or agree with!

DOING IT RIGHT WHY SHOULD I GET MY POLICY FROM AN INSURANCE AGENT?

To be an agent nowadays you have to declare and pay tax on your earnings so that got rid of most of the part time agents. The biggest problem for them and the brokers who would have used them is that they now have to have tuition as well as the employees. This ranges from 30 hours for the sub agents and has to be done through official sources, certificates are obtained and the broker has to submit them to the authorities every 3 years. They also cost the broker money, about 150 euros per person but the bills can be used for tax declarations so once again, everything is out in the open .

Can I pay CASH?

Two days old...one 'careful' owner...

Own goal - Louis Saha The incident happened on Altrincham road in Wilmslow, Cheshire. Former Manchester United star Saha lost control of his Ferrari and careered into a fence, no other vehicles

were involved. Police reports suggest that the Frenchman was lucky to be alive after causing extensive damage to his Ferrari, but still managed to walk away unscathed from the accident. It is unknown which Ferrari he was driving, but Saha was spotted in Wilmslow not

long before the accident, driving his Black Ferrari 458 Italia. All 1,200 Ferrari 458 Italia’s built were recalled in September 2010, after a fire risk was discovered in the wheel arch of the supercars. The problem was traced to adhesive that was used in the wheel arch assemblies, which could catch fire when

heated up by the exhaust system. A similar incident happened in January 2009 when Cristiano Ronaldo crashed his Ferrari 599 GTB in the Tunnels that run under the Manchester Airport Runways that time the Ferrari was written off after only 2 days of ownership.

TRAVEL OVER 110KM/H AND RISK FINES OF 100 EUROS By Sally Bengtsson Last Monday the maximum speed on motorways in Spain dropped from 120km/h to 110km/h. Anyone who is caught going between 111km/h and 141km/h will have to pay an instant fine of 100 euros. However, no points will be taken from your licence unless you are going over 150km/h, for which you will lose 2 points. If you are going between 141 and 160 km/h the fine goes up to 300 euros.

There's no black money in insurance at all. If you buy your policy from an agent one therefore assumes that at least he has had some tuition even though the broker and staff have to do many more hours to get their diplomas and certificates (150 hours over the 3 year period) and that he is only collecting information to pass to the qualified broker who would then give proper advice and find a suitable policy. As an insurance agent we earn an average of about 30 euros per policy and out of that have to pay the usual: wages, electric, water, plus all the expensive controls on data protection, professional 3rd party liability for 1,800.000 euros, solvency bonds and so on. You can imagine what it's like as you're also running your own business, so the costs of having agents properly qualified is often the last thing on the list for a lot of companies – but they will still sell you a policy.


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RICHARD CAVENDER

Bluemoon Solutions www.bluemoonsolutions.es

BlueMoon Solutions is the computer and IT services company on the Costa Blanca, they provide quality computer services at realistic prices and specialise in working with home users and small businesses. ADVICE: Garry wanted to know whether he could use bits from his old laptop

Q

Hi Richard, I am not technically minded, I had a Toshiba which was about 3 years old which crashed, my neighbour bless him, said I can fix that for you and then said oooohhh there is no reset button inside and handed back my laptop, which cannot be repaired at all................it is in such a mess...............so I was wondering, this may be a stupid question, but can I remove the hard drive and connect the hard drive via a USB cable to another laptop, will this work? Keep up the good work.

A

Hi Garry, yes its certainly possible, and pretty easy, to remove the hard drive from your laptop and place it in a ‘caddy’ for use in any USB port as an external drive, most computer shops will sell the kits to do this for around 25 euros, alternatively, if you are not confident in removing the hard drive from your laptop you should ask a computer technician to supply the caddy and fit the hard drive into it for you. This sort of recycling is a great way of re-using parts of a failed computer.

Richard moved to spain four years ago having left his management background behind in the UK and decided to use his IT skills to help home users and small businesses with their PC problems. now a relaxed 'computer man' he is out and about in the Spanish sun every day, making house and shop calls and using his vast experience and qualifications to (usually) sort out the problem there and then. computers are his hobby as well as his work so don’t be surprised to get an answer to your email in the early hours!”

ADVICE: Graham needed advice when he received an unexpected email from Microsoft

Q

Hi Richard,sorry to trouble you but I received the attached email from Microsoft about my Windows Live Space account closing down – does all this mean that I will not be able to get my E Mails after March 16th 2011 , I have tried to understand it but it goes over my head. Graham.

A

Hi Graham, the email that you have received is related to your Windows Live Spaces account, not your Hotmail account, although they are closely related so I can understand why you would be concerned. Windows Live Space is a personal blogging area; a blog is a kind of online diary that you can update to let interested people know what you are up to. However it sounds from your email that you are not using it, therefore you can either follow the link in the email to delete the Live Space that you have, or you can just ignore it and Microsoft will close your account automatically on the 16th March. If, however, you do use your Windows Live Space then you need to follow the instructions to move it to WordPress.Com before the closing date, if you are having trouble doing this then just let me know and I can help. Either way, whatever you do, your Hotmail account will not be affected.

SOLVED: Adrian has a problem caused by interference on his wireless network I have an Acer Aspire 5732Z laptop running Windows Home Premium and an Acer Aspire One 521 notebook running Windows Starter. The laptop accepts both Lan and Wi-FI connections. The Notebook will only accept LAN connection even though the wireless connection is shown as available. I would appreciate some suggestions from you.

Q A

Hi Adrian, it “sounds” like the problem is with the notebook, do you have problems connecting it on other wireless LAN’s? If you do then it sounds like a problem with the notebook’s WiFi drivers or the card itself. If it’s not the notebook (because it works fine on other WiFi networks) then you could try changing the wireless channel (from within the router itself), sometimes bad connections can be caused by your wireless router broadcasting on the same channel as other devices in your house (phones etc.) or neighbouring WiFi routers. Update from Adrian… I have just found out when I shut off the TV Digisender, which we use to change TV channels remotely from the upstairs bedroom, the problem has disappeared. I am now getting wi-fi communications on both computers. As you suggested I need to change channels on the router.

SOLVED: Alexandra had problems watching videos sent to her on the TV

Q

Dear Richard, I loved your page of PC questions and answers. They were really well set out without all the hi-brow jargon, so easy for me to understand!!! My daughter regularly sends me photos taken by her i phone via e mail. I then save them to my hard drive and also transfer them to my memory stick. I then plug this into the television and watch them on screen, however when she sends me short video clips, I still save them but they will not play on the TV. I have done a lot of research on the internet but have come up with nothing that helps. Can you help me PLEASE!

Hi Sandra, yes I am pretty sure I understand why you can’t watch the movies on the TV now I can see the file format of the files that you have sent. Now for the technical bit….the iPhone stores its movies using a format called Apple QuickTime, these are .MOV files, however, your TV almost certainly won’t be able to read these files and probably wants them in .AVI format (hence your problem). What you need to do is convert the .MOV files to .AVI files and to do this you need some specialist software that is probably not already on your computer. I have done some research and I think I have just found an easy way of doing what you need, there is a website called www.zamzar.com and they convert files for free and email you a link to the converted file, it’s an easy 3 step process.

A

Update from Alexandra… Hi Richard - WE HAVE SUCCESS!!!!!!!!! Thank you so much for sorting this out for me.

office@bluemoonsolutions.es www.bluemoonsolutions.es Mobile: 655 044 970

Office: 902 906 200


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Friday, 11th March, 2011

HOT GOSSIP FM

NEW KID ON THE BLOCK JESSE J TOPS BBC LIST Pop singer and songwriter Jessie J has come top of the BBC Sound of 2011 list, which showcases the best rising music stars for the coming year. Jessie J, real name Jessica Cornish, from Romford, Essex, has been described as a British answer to Rihanna or Pink, two of the U.S’s biggest female stars. Now in it’s ninth year, the BBC list is compiled by counting votes from music critics, bloggers and broadcasters, who consider the best new talent and rate them for the BBC. Other notable successes include Ellie Goulding, La Roux, Duffy and Adele so the history of this award suggests that Jesse J won’t be a flash in the pan. Although Jesse appears to have burst onto the scene from nowhere, she has already enjoyed success as a songwriter, co-writing Miley Cirus’ hit single, Party In The U.S.A.and has trodden the boards of the West End since the age of 11. She went on to spend a year at the Brit School for

performing arts, in the same year as fellow singers Adele, Katy B and Rox. Although a young girl still, she has already served her apprenticeship and thoroughly deserves to be a success and she has already enjoyed a U.K. number one hit and two singles in the top ten, consecutively. Critics are fairly unanimous in their praise of the young singer, with Austin Daboh, music manager at BBC 1Xtra the first radio station to play Jessie's music - saying "From the minute I saw a homemade video of Jessie singing her head off, I knew she was a talent.I think she combines a unique charisma with great songwriting and to top it off she has an incredible voice." In a period of music history where young female artists really are dominating current music trends, Jesse seems to have the skill and drive to hold her own. You can hear her latest single on TKO FM 91.9, 87.7 and 89.9. The biggest radio station for over seven years.

WIN A MEAL FOR TWO AND WINE AT QUESADA FISH & CHIPS Pop Quiz 11tH Mar 1 Who sang Blue Suede Shoes and Mathcbox? 2 Who sang Dont Know Much with Linda Rondstadt? 3 Who was lead singer with 90s indie rock band, The Verve? 4 Who had hits with Hats Off To Larry and Runaway? 5 He was Partial To Your Abracadabra.. And Sweet Gene Vincent.. 6 This was a big hit for Spandau Ballet and could refer to your favourite radio station? 7 Kelis had a hit last year with this song about unaccompanied singing.. 8 Which song by The Beatles is believed to be the first western pop song to feature a sitar (From the album Rubber Soul)? 9 What was Shakespeares Sisters’ biggest hit and most popular, selling over one million copies in 1992? FIND THE KEY WORD AND LISTEN TO CHRIS ASHLEY ON MONDAY MORNINGS BETWEEN 8.00-11AM TO ENTER. CHRIS WILL ASK YOU TO TEXT OR EMAIL IN THE KEY WORD AND THE WINNER OF THIS WEEK’S ANSWER WILL BE ANNOUNCED.


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Friday, 11th March, 2011

CODE CRACKER Code Cracker is a crossword puzzle with no clues; instead, every letter of the alphabet has been replaced by a number, the same number representing the same letter throughout the puzzle. All you have to do is decide which letter is represented by which number. In this week's puzzle, 21 represents F and 26 represents B, when these letters have been entered throughout the puzzle, you should have enough information to start guessing words and discovering other letters.

QUICKIE

DOUBLE CROSS-WORD Solve the Double Cross-Word puzzle using either the standard or cryptic clues, the answers are exactly the same.

CRYTPIC CLUES Across 1 Since I can be cut (6) 4 Arrests singer Stevie (5) 8 Treats curse by mistake (5) 9 Rum sort damaged platform (7) 10 Club keeps memory in knots (7) 11 Last one for a region (4) 12 A criminal hold-up (3) 14 Enthusiastic nurse is after weekend sweetheart (4) 15 Missing from an Anne Hathaway novel (4) 18 Return fuel flag (3) 21 Distinct atmosphere found in many restaurants (4) 23 Unfortunately harried because of a prominent feature (3,4) 25 Anxious, I left funny souvenir (7) 26 North American swine's home is revolting (5) 27 Damage found round oriental women's quarters (5) 28 Small laboratory with our work (6) STANDARD CLUES Across

Across 1 Enclosures (5) 4 Reality (5) 6 Epoch (3) 7 Verify (5) 8 Rigid (5) 10 Set of clothes (3) 12 Female relative (4) 14 Rowing implements (4) 15 Prize (5) 16 Smack (4) 18 Appointment (4) 20 Fitness centre (3) 22 Escargot (5) 23 Borders (5) 24 Employ (3)

25 Thick (5) 26 Fling (5)

Down 2 Fully fledged (5) 3 Look for (4) 4 Quick (4) 5 Porcelain (5) 7 Commends (7) 9 Secures (7) 11 European country (5) 13 Faucet (3) 14 Unusual (3) 17 Once more (5) 19 Fury (5) 20 Stick (4) 21 Get together (4)

Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Cages, 4 Facts, 6 Era, 7 Prove, 8 Stiff, 10 Kit, 12 Aunt, 14 Oars, 15 Award, 16 Slap, 18 Date, 20 Gym, 22 Snail, 23 Edges, 24 Use, 25 Dense, 26 Throw. Down: 2 Grown, 3 Seek, 4 Fast, 5 China, 7 Praises, 9 Fastens, 11 Italy, 13 Tap, 14 Odd, 17 Again, 19 Anger, 20 Glue, 21 Meet.

1 Cut into (6) 4 Scratches (5) 8 Heals (5) 9 Podium (7) 10 Coarse lace (7) 11 Sector (4) 12 Insulate (3) 14 Eager (4) 15 Absent (4) 18 Droop (3) 21 Sensation (4) 23 Ginger (3,4) 25 Anxious (7) 26 Spiteful (5) 27 Seraglio (5) 28 Toil (6)

Down 1 Again comedian collects money for work (6) 2 It's a boat care of motoring organisation's trainee engineer (7) 3 American engulfed by smears keeps going (8) 4 Breeding place discovered in Lone Star State (4) 5 Will your vehicle start when laden with it? (5) 6 What comes before a fall (6) 7 Luger ends up as soup! (5) 13 A flower produced from poor drainage (8) 16 A young girl I love in an Italian resort (7) 17 Set off - and without a meal (6) 19 Common drug (5) 20 Request proportional representation? Yes your majesty (6) 22 More uncommon roubles are registered (5) 24 Materialise over a weaving apparatus (4) Down 1 Proceeds (6) 2 Small boat (7) 3 Maintains (8) 4 Bird's home (4) 5 Shipment (5) 6 Warm season (6) 7 Thin porridge (5) 13 Flowering plant (8) 16 Italian health resort (7) 17 Inaugurate (6) 19 Lawn (5) 20 Entreaty (6) 22 Less prevalent (5) 24 Tower (4)

Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Incise, 4 Nicks, 8 Cures, 9 Rostrum, 10 Macrame, 11 Zone, 12 Lag, 14 Keen, 15 Away, 18 Sag, 21 Aura, 23 Red hair, 25 Nervous, 26 Nasty, 27 Harem, 28 Labour. Down: 1 Income, 2 Coracle, 3 Sustains, 4 Nest, 5 Cargo, 6 Summer, 7 Gruel, 13 Gardenia, 16 Alassio, 17 Launch, 19 Grass, 20 Prayer, 22 Rarer, 24 Loom.

FILL IT IN

Complete the crossword grid by using the given words:

2 letter words As At In Me On So Ta To 3 letter words Bio Boa Boo Ian Ifs Kip NHS Not

Rump Up to Your

Oat Opt Pan Ram Res She Tai Too UFO Ups USA Yap

5 letter words Audit Pudgy Scams Upset 7 letter words Air raid Depress

4 letter words Aeon Bunk Ibis Neck Ogre

9 letter words Innkeeper Insomniac Labyrinth Mannerism

SPANISH-ENGLISH CROSSWORD Improve your Spanish - clues in Spanish, answers in English or vice versa.

Across 1 Chupete (de niño) (5) 4 Caminos (5) 6 That (3) 7 Track (path) (5) 8 Bee (5) 10 Rojo (3) 12 Germen (4) 14 Prueba (4) 15 Spider (5) 16 Pregunta (4) 18 Pulmón (4) 20 Triste (3) 22 Floor (of room) (5) 23 Wide (5) 24 Law (3)

25 Helmet (5) 26 Vapor (5) Down 2 Fewer (5) 3 Año (4) 4 Plomo (4) 5 Sobrina (5) 7 Señales (7) 9 Ancient (7) 11 Stage (phase) (5) 13 More (3) 14 Such (3) 17 Rodillas (5) 19 Tío (5) 20 Alone (4) 21 Días (4)


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Friday, 11th March, 2011 Across 7 What is the name of the coarse European grass found on coastal sand dunes? (6) 8 What is the surname of the actor who is best known for playing mobsters including Michael Corleone in The Godfather trilogy and Tony Montana in Scarface? (6) 10 According to legend, which Greek hero and king of Athens slew the Minotaur? (7) 11 What name is given to a block of steel, gold, silver, or other metal that is typically oblong in shape? (5) 12 What is the name of the Darling family’s pet Newfoundland dog in Peter Pan? (4) 13 What name is given to a circular or oval valley or natural depression on the earth’s surface, especially one containing water? (5) 17 Which city is the capital of Bolivia? (2,3) 18 Which saint was the author of the third Gospel and the Acts of the Apostles? (4) 22 What was the surname of actress Dame Edith and former England wicket-keeper Godfrey? (5) 23 What is the result obtained by adding several amounts together and then dividing this total by the number of amounts? (7) 24 Which respiratory condition is marked by attacks of spasm in the bronchi of the lungs, causing difficulty in breathing? (6)

Quiz Word

25 Which country was known as British Honduras until 1973? (6) Down 1 Bedrich was the first name of which Bohemian composer of operas and symphonic poems, and founder of the Czech

SUDOKU

national school of music? (7) 2 Which French city was the scene of Joan of Arc’s first victory over the English during the Hundred Years War? (7) 3 Butane, helium and nitrous oxide are all what? (5) 4 Which is the largest ocean in the world? (7) 5 What was the nickname of Richard Starkey? (5) 6 Which is the main artery of the body? (5) 9 Which city is the capital of Pakistan? (9) 14 What name is given to sums of money or other payments demanded or paid for the release of prisoners? (7) 15 Michael who was the Democratic candidate who stood against George Bush Snr in 1988? (7) 16 What name is given to an official who watches a game or match closely to ensure that the rules are adhered to? (7) 19 What is the name of the smooth pinkish-brown nut with an edible kernel similar to a walnut? (5) 20 Which dance in triple time is performed by a couple who as a pair turn rhythmically round and round as they progress around the dance floor? (5) 21 What name is given to an abnormally high body temperature, usually accompanied by shivering, headache, and in severe instances, delirium? (5)

SALLY’S SIMPLE SPANISH Every week we’ll be covering a different topic to help readers enlarge their Spanish vocabulary. This week we start with: Objetos de la Casa Look for Ojetos de la Casa in the wordsearch

1. If you landed at the Shannon airport, where would you be? 2. Who composed 'Peter and the Wolf' in 1936? 3. If you had a Brassica Rapa what vegetable would you have? 4. It is against the law to do what to the Mayor of Paris? 5. What does a carpophagus animal feed on? 6. Whose last words were, "Clito, I owe a cock to Asclepius"? 7. What did James Ritty invent in 1879? 8. What was the subject of the movie 'Heart of New York'? 9. What is the most name for a pub in Britain? 10. 91% of Americans do what regularly 11. Hamburgers were invented in which country? 12. Which nationality drinks the most coffee per person per day? ANSWERS 1. Limerick 2. Sergai Prokofiev 3. Turnip 4. Stare at Him 5. Fruit 6. Socrates 7. Cash Register 8. Washing machine inventors 9. The Red Lion 10. Lie 11. China 12. Sweden

Last Week’s Solutions Code Cracker Last weeks Quiz Wordsolution Across: 7 Marram, 8 Pacino, 10 Theseus, 11 Ingot, 12 Nana, 13 Basin, 17 La Paz, 18 Luke, 22 Evans, 23 Average, 24 Asthma, 25 Belize. Down: 1 Smetana, 2 Orleans, 3 Gases, 4 Pacific, 5 Ringo, 6 Aorta, 9 Islamabad, 14 Ransoms, 15 Dukakis, 16 Referee, 19 Pecan, 20 Waltz, 21 Fever.

HORNO BANCO CAMA ARMARIO CAJONES ESCALERA BAUL VENTANA PUERTA

Empareja estas palabras – Match these Spanish and English words for household objects. You will find the answers at the bottom of the quiz. 1.

Mesa

a. desk

8.

Refrigerador

h. oven

16. Cajones

p. bed

2.

Silla

b. table

9.

Plancha

i. sofa

17. Escalera

q. draws

3.

Sofá

c. washing

10. Reloj

j. fridge

18. Baúl

r. stairs

11. Horno

k. book shelf

19. Ventana

t. cupboard

20. Puerta

u. wardrobe

machine 4.

Lámpara

d. clock

12. Banco

l. door

5.

Escritorio

e. chair

13. Cama

m. chest

6.

Librero

f. iron

14. Closet

n. window

7.

Lavadora

g. lamp

15. Armario

o. stool

Soduko

Span - Eng

Quizword

Answers: 1b, 2e, 3i, 4g, 5a, 6k,7c, 8j, 9f, 10d, 11h, 12o, 13p, 14u, 15t, 16q, 17r, 18m, 19n, 20l.

Kidz Corner

P P A L L I S V P B CE RI U MESA I B QCHNE T Z A K E QX W SILLA H OR N ON F I J D F U S MG WL H Y T R Q O I R A M R A O SOFA A A V A OE NY I F QNF UC LMPARA MV N S OE S GR A P QU S N A A NE S J E CF F V E L F A ESCRITORIO C D F MS R U V A E V MU N B LIBRERO QOP L A NCHA L B J A Z S L RI DP S GV ORE RB I L LAVADORA M A O O U C R Y WT D R F Z L P R T X E V S J M W K O A C C REFRIGERADOR A Y OI ROT I RCS E F UC PLANCHA R D D D T X B A WI WG Y M G RELOJ A Z B J A L S Z J OL E RUL

Fill It In


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Friday, 11th March, 2011


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Friday, 11th March, 2011

Horoscopes Dear Tia Maria. Myself and my wife have been in Spain for nearly 2 years now and generally we are really enjoying it. We don´t need to work, and are living off a modest pension but are comfortable enough. However, lately I have becaome concerned about my wifes drinking. We started off having a glass of wine with our evening meal but we now have wine lunchtime also and I feel that my wife nearly always seems to have a glass of wine in her hand, no matter what time of day it is. I have tried to to talk to her about it but she just gets angry and says I am trying to control her. I am really worried about her health, how do you think I should tackle this?

ONE TOO MANY?

Tia Maria says: Here in Spain it is easy o fall into the trap of drinking too much. Generally alcohol and especially wine is cheap and

the sunny weather gives us a “holiday” feeling most of the year round. Most ex pats

probably drink a little bit more if not substantially more than they did in the

UK. Part of the problem can be having too much time on your hands which may be true in your wife´s case. Is she getting out enough and building a social network that doesn´t involve alcohol? How much is she actually drinking? Remind her (gently) that the recommended weekly limit for women is 14 units, A unit is about equal to a small measure of spirit, half a beer, or a small glass of wine. Try not to be confrontational with her, just explain your concerns and perhaps you should cut down on drinking together. Encourage her to discuss it with her friends and other family to see what they think or talk it over with her doctor. If your concern grows and you feel her drinking is spiralling, it may be an idea to ring Alcoholics Anonymous on 625-912 078 for some advice or at least a sympathetic ear.

NICE…

“Please if permitted would you forward this message to Kath from ALGORFA, re ‘got a problem?’ - Ask Tia Maria” Dear Kath I have just read your letter in The Courier (issue 2) and in response to the advice given about meeting more people, perhaps you would like to meet up for a coffee sometime soon. I am the fundraising manager for Paul Cunningham Nurses and I live in Quesada, quite near to you is P3 a small bar with a big heart who have done a lot of local events for PCN. I will be over to meet with them soon and would be very pleased to meet with you too. The work I do is very varied and I can always do a with a helping hand and you will certainly meet lots of very nice people. You can contact me at sueinthesun@hotmail.co.uk or text to 629 869 959. Should you wish to you can find out more about the charity on www.paulcunninghamnurses.com - if this gets to you in time tomorrow there is a walk organsied for all abilities at Casa La Pedrera which is near San Miguel for all the info in this www.thingstodoinspain.info Kindest regards Susan Reader

NEED HELP? Comisión para la investigación de malos tratos a mujeres (Research Comission for Violence Against Women) Tel: 900 100 009 Monday through Friday from 9:00 to 21:00

By Pandora Aries March 21 - April 19 Love is highlighted again this week. An existing partnership may get a new lease of life or the person of your dreams may literally just fall into your lap. Grab them while you can because they won’t wait around too long without encouragement.

Taurus April 20 - May 20 Abundance should find you from all sides this week. Put your current run of good luck to good use and make the most of whatever windfalls come your way.

Gemini May 21 - June 20 What are you waiting for? The omens are good but it seems you are too scared to lake the first step. Trust in the Universe to protect you and you will get what you want.

Cancer June 21 - July 22 Your naturally inhibited nature is put to the test this week as you start to see how much happier being a little bit more adventurous could make you. Come out of that shell Cancer, there is a whole new world unfolding around you.

Leo July 23 - August 22 It seems like the world is against you this week but try to rise above it all and concentrate on your own needs. Let everyone else fall in with you for a change and don’t waste your time trying to please those who don’t appreciate you.

Virgo August 23 - September 22 Time for a bit of a breather as the events of the last few weeks catch up with you. Enjoy the break, as things will be hotting up again soon for round two as soon as you have caught your breath.

Libra September 23 - October 22 There is still a bit of discord in your sign, which will show itself in niggling disagreements and petty arguments. Rise above them and be confident that the path you are taking is right for you.

Scorpio October 23 - November 21 You could feel the sting of someone else’s tail this week Scorpio, if you neglect your loved ones. They are waiting for a sign that you care and it is very important that you show your feelings, as someone close to you really needs a hug.

Sagittarius November 22 - December 21 Take your own advice and look on the bright side. Sometimes you are so concerned with sorting out everybody else’s problems you forget that you need help with your own.

Capricorn December 22 - January 19 Your career and financial planet is still under a good aspect, if you are thinking of a new venture or a career change now is the time Capricorn.

Aquarius January 20 - February 18 You are still surrounded by favourable aspects and this month you should find that all you touch turns to gold, both in your personal and professional life.

Pisces February 19 - March 20 You are still unable to see the wood for the trees, but very soon everything will make sense. Keep your head clear and your eyes wide open so you don’t miss any opportunity this week.


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Friday, 11th March, 2011


Friday, 11th March, 2011

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WHAT’S ON THE TELLY..? ROSS KEMP: EXTREME WORLD

Sky1 Monday, March 14th, 9:00pm to 10:00pm Difficult questions are raised in this powerful penultimate instalment. More than a year since the country was hit by an earthquake; Ross reveals what life is like in Haiti.

THE CUBE

COUNTRY HOUSE RESCUE

Channel 4 Sunday, March 13th, 9:00pm to 10:00pm The fearless and peerless Ruth Watson tries to knock some of Britain's crumbling stately homes back into shape.

CSI: NEW YORK

ITV1 Friday, March 11th, 10:35pm to 11:35pm) Channel 5, Tuesday, March 15th, 10:55pm to 11:55pm Phillip Schofield hosts the nail-biting game show in which contestants must prove their nerve and skill under the spotlight in the Cube if they are to have a chance at the big money prize. Today Royal Marine Richard finds that battling the Cube is the most difficult thing he has ever done - including Marines training. Will he keep his cool or crack under the pressure?

New York-based spin-off of the crime drama series. Stella and Lindsay probe the death of a model who was apparently electrocuted in a giant martini glass. Mac and Danny investigate a robbery at a restaurant that left one person dead and another critically injured.


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Friday, 11th March, 2011

Friday 11th March 00:35 This Week 01:25 Smoking and the Bandits: Panorama 01:55 Countryfile 02:55 Antiques Roadshow 03:55 The Foods That Make Billions 04:55 Rip Off Britain 05:25 BBC News 05:30 HARDtalk 06:00 The World Today 06:30 World Business Report 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Heir Hunters 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Wreck or Ready? 12:30 Cash in the Attic 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Escape to the Country 16:00 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 16:05 The Smokehouse 16:35 Deadly 60 Bite Size 16:40 Deadly Art 17:00 Tracy Beaker Returns 17:30 Newsround Special 18:00 Newsround 18:05 Shaun the Sheep 18:15 Weakest Link 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 20:00 The One Show 20:30 Comic Relief: Girl on Wire 21:00 EastEnders 21:35 QI 22:00 New Tricks 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 The Graham Norton Show BBC2 00:20 ICC Cricket World Cup Highlights 01:20 The Culture Show 02:20 BBC News 02:30 ABC World News with Diane Sawyer 03:00 BBC News

03:30 04:00 04:30 05:00 06:00 06:30 07:00 07:10 07:25 07:40 07:50 08:00 08:25 08:30 08:30 08:45 09:00 09:30 09:55 10:10 10:25 10:40 10:45 10:55 11:05 11:20 11:25 11:45 12:05 12:35 13:00 13:30 14:00 14:45 15:30 16:00 16:45 17:30

The Record BBC News The Guantanamo Prisoner Secondary Schools: i-Maths i-Maths Extra i-D&T Maths Finley the Fire Engine Zigby The Large Family Little Robots Rastamouse Barney’s Latin America Newsround Muddle Earth Bernard Eliot Kid Paradise Cafe LazyTown Numberjacks The Koala Brothers Big Barn Farm Little Human Planet Timmy Time 3rd & Bird Postman Pat: SDS Pingu 64 Zoo Lane Waybuloo In the Night Garden Meerkat Manor Daily Politics GMT with George Alagiah Diagnosis Murder To Buy or Not to Buy Nature’s Top 40 Flog It! Helicopter Heroes Cash in the Celebrity Attic

18:15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Royal Upstairs Downstairs 20:00 Britain By Bike 20:30 An Island Parish 21:00 Mastermind 21:30 Gardeners’ World 22:00 Hidden Treasures of Indian Art 23:00 ICC Cricket World Cup Highlights 23:30 Newsnight ITV 00:35 Send in the Dogs 01:30 The Zone 03:30 The Jeremy Kyle Show 04:25 Make Your Own School: Tonight 04:50 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 House Gift 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 17:00 Midsomer Murders 18:00 The Chase 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Children’s Hospital

THE MENTALIST A criminal profiler joins the team to help investigate a double murder case, which bears resemblances to crimes committed a decade previously by a serial killer known as the Caveman. Jane clashes with the newcomer's scientific approach and disagrees with her theories about potential suspects - so he forges a piece of evidence to throw her off course in the hope of out-witting the real culprit. Crime drama, guest starring Linda Park (Raines).

21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Benidorm 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Weather 23:35 The Cube CHANNEL 4 00:05 Friday Night Dinner 00:35 The Ricky Gervais Show 01:05 CTRL MX 01:40 On Track 02:10 The Crush 03:00 The People’s Supermarket 03:55 Dispatches: Selling Off Britain 04:45 Without a Trace 05:30 Reaper 06:20 Countdown 07:05 Sali Mali 07:10 The Treacle People 07:20 The Hoobs 08:15 Freshly Squeezed 08:40 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:05 Frasier 09:35 According to Jim 10:05 Supernanny USA 11:00 The Good Wife 11:55 Gok’s Clothes Roadshow 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 River Cottage Bites 13:20 The Desert Rats 15:05 Cookery School 16:10 Countdown 16:55 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 18:30 Coach Trip

19:00 19:30 20:00 20:25 20:30 21:00 22:00 23:00 23:35

The Simpsons Hollyoaks Channel 4 News 4thought.tv The Only Gay on the Estate? Relocation: Phil Down Under Embarrassing Bodies Friday Night Dinner Rude Tube: Animal Madness

CHANNEL 5 00:10 Sex Lessons 00:50 Cops in Crisis 01:10 SuperCasino 05:00 Your Sport 05:10 Brian Sewell’s Grand Tour 06:35 House Doctor 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 Roary the Racing Car 07:20 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 07:35 Elmo’s World 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 Little Princess 08:15 The Mr Men Show 08:30 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Make Way for Noddy 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:40 Hana’s Helpline 09:50 The WotWots 10:00 Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:05 Cowboy Builders 13:05 Meals in Moments 13:10 5 News 13:15 House 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 The Vanessa Show 16:00 The Long Shot 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:55 Meals in Minutes 20:00 5 News at 7 20:30 Vets in Action 20:30 5 News Update 21:00 Ice Road Truckers 22:00 The Mentalist 23:00 Law & Order


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Friday, 11th March, 2011

Saturday 12th March 00:20 The National Lottery Friday Night Draws 00:35 The Good Shepherd 03:15 South Riding 04:15 Horizon: How to Mend a Broken Heart 05:15 BBC News 05:30 Talking Books 06:00 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 11:00 Saturday Kitchen Live 12:30 Raymond Blanc’s Kitchen Secrets 13:00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 13:15 Football Focus 14:00 British Olympic Dreams 14:30 World Olympic Dreams: From Thames to Tigris 15:00 Live Six Nations Rugby Union 19:55 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 20:10 Let’s Dance for Comic Relief 21:30 The National Lottery: Secret Fortune 22:20 Casualty 23:10 BBC News; Weather 23:35 Live at the Apollo BBC2 00:00 00:50 01:20 Arm 03:15 03:30 04:00 04:30 04:45 05:00 05:15

The Review Show ICC Cricket World Cup Extra The Man with the Golden BBC News The Record Review BBC News Click Newswatch BBC News Close

07:00 Finley the Fire Engine 07:10 Zigby 07:25 The Large Family 07:35 Little Robots 07:45 Rastamouse 08:00 Basil and Barney’s Game Show 08:30 Arthur 09:00 Richard Hammond’s Blast Lab 09:30 Project Parent 10:00 Dick & Dom’s Funny Business 11:00 Trapped Ever After 11:30 OOglies 11:45 Copycats 12:15 My Life: Staying Awake 12:45 MOTD Kickabout 13:00 The Sky at Night 13:40 Escape to the Country 14:10 The Outlaw 16:00 Into the West 17:30 Final Score 18:15 Churches: How to Read Them 18:45 Flog It! 19:30 Dad’s Army 20:00 Spike - I Told You I Was Ill 21:00 King James Bible: The Book That Changed the World 22:00 The Edge of Love 23:45 The Tudors

ITV 00:35 01:45 03:45 04:30 06:30 07:00 08:25 10:25 12:45 13:45 14:40 14:44 14:45 15:15 17:20 17:30 17:45 20:20 20:50 22:05 23:20 23:34 23:35

Take Me Out The Zone In Plain Sight ITV Nightscreen ITV Morning News Mini CITV CITV Coronation Street This Morning: Saturday Monk ITV News and Weather Meridian Weather You’ve Been Framed! Small Soldiers Meridian News and Weather ITV News and Weather Live FA Cup Football Harry Hill’s TV Burp Ant & Dec’s Push the Button Take Me Out ITV News and Weather Meridian Weather Hard Target

CHANNEL 4 00:40 10 O’Clock Live 01:45 4Music Favourites: Alexis Jordan

KING JAMES BIBLE: THE BOOK THAT CHANGED THE WORLD Broadcaster Melvyn Bragg travels to historic locations investigating the influence of the King James Bible on the English language to celebrate the 400th anniversary of the book. He debates that this version of the religious text was the starting-point of Western democracy, and activated shifts in society such as the abolition of the slave trade.

02:10 CTRL MX 02:40 4Play: Liam Bailey 02:55 My Name Is Earl 03:35 Modern Toss 04:00 The Man with One Red Shoe 05:30 Reaper 06:00 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 06:15 Countdown 07:00 The Treacle People 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 The Track and Field Show 08:25 The Grid 08:55 The Morning Line 09:55 Friends 10:55 Katy Perry: Real Stories 11:55 Glee 12:50 Great British Hairdresser 13:50 The Big Bang Theory 14:50 Channel 4 Racing 16:50 The Secret Supper Club 17:25 Come Dine with Me Extra Portions 19:25 The Political Slot 19:30 Channel 4 News 19:55 4thought.tv 20:00 River Cottage Every Day 21:00 Seven Ages of Britain 22:00 Celebrity Naked Ambition CHANNEL 5 00:00 NCIS

00:55 Cops in Crisis 01:15 SuperCasino 04:55 Motorsport Mundial 05:20 Royal Navy Caribbean Patrol 06:10 Wildlife SOS 06:35 House Doctor 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Fifi and the Flowertots 07:25 Fireman Sam 07:40 Miss Spider’s Sunny Patch Friends 07:50 The Beeps 08:05 Chiro 08:10 Hana’s Helpline 08:20 Harry and His Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 08:30 Make Way for Noddy 08:40 Igam Ogam 08:50 Animal Families 09:00 Little Princess 09:15 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:30 Play! 09:45 Rupert Bear 10:00 Olivia 10:15 The Mr Men Show 10:30 The Milkshake! Show 11:00 The Gadget Show Shorts 11:05 UEFA Europa League Highlights 12:10 The Gadget Show 13:10 Superman III 15:35 Murder 101: If Wishes Were Horses 17:20 My Girl 19:25 5 News Weekend 19:30 NCIS 20:20 NCIS 21:10 CSI: Grissom’s Greatest 22:10 CSI: Miami 23:10 CSI: NY


40

Friday, 11th March, 2011

Sunday 13th March 00:20 John Bishop’s Britain 00:50 The Football League Show 02:15 Hidden Treasures of Australian Art 03:15 Horizon: Are We Still Evolving? 04:15 100 Years of the London Palladium 05:15 BBC News 05:30 Click 06:00 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:00 The Andrew Marr Show 11:00 The Big Questions 12:00 Country Tracks 13:00 The Politics Show 14:05 EastEnders 15:30 Live Six Nations Rugby Union 18:00 Songs of Praise 18:35 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 19:00 Nigel Slater’s Simple Suppers 19:30 The Boat That Guy Built 20:00 Countryfile 21:00 Antiques Roadshow 22:00 Waking the Dead 23:00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 23:25 Outcasts

04:30 Our World: Cyber Warfare 05:00 BBC News 05:15 Close 07:00 Finley the Fire Engine 07:10 Zigby 07:25 The Large Family 07:35 Little Robots 07:45 Rastamouse 08:05 Basil and Barney’s Game Show 08:30 Arthur 09:00 Richard Hammond’s Blast Lab 09:30 Gimme a Break 10:00 Dick & Dom Go Wild 10:30 Cop School 11:00 Something for the Weekend 12:30 Film 2011 with Claudia Winkleman 13:00 His Kind of Woman 14:55 Priceless Antiques Roadshow 15:25 Coast 15:35 EastEnders 16:10 Escape to the Country 17:10 The Spice Trail 18:10 Goal II: Living the Dream 20:00 The Real Italian Job: James Martin’s Mille Miglia 21:00 Top Gear 22:00 Wonders of the Universe

23:00 V for Vendetta ITV 01:20 01:20 03:25 04:10 06:30 07:00 08:25 10:25 11:25 12:30 13:30 14:30 14:35 17:15 19:15 19:25 19:40 20:10 21:30 22:30 Off 23:05 23:19 23:20

The Zone ITV News Headlines Swingtown ITV Nightscreen ITV Morning News Mini CITV CITV May the Best House Win House Gift This Morning: Sunday Dinner Date ITV News and Weather Live FA Cup Football Midsomer Murders News and Weather ITV News and Weather Harry Hill’s TV Burp Dancing on Ice Wild at Heart Dancing on Ice: The Skate ITV News and Weather Weather FA Cup Highlights

CHANNEL 4

WAKING THE DEAD

BBC2 00:40 Nurse Jackie 01:10 ICC Cricket World Cup Highlights 02:10 Force of Evil 03:25 BBC News 03:30 HARDtalk 04:00 BBC News

New series. Boyd is unsettled when Sarah Cavendish (played by Five Daughters star Eva Birthistle), an officer of equal rank to him, joins the team to investigate the disappearance of a banker who had been struggling to cope with losing his daughter to cancer.

00:10 Stand Up for the Week 01:00 Election 02:50 Without a Trace 03:35 Privileged 05:10 Reaper 05:55 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 06:25 Countdown 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 FIS Freestyle World Ski Championships 08:25 That Paralympic Show 08:50 Friends 09:45 Hollyoaks 12:15 Friends 12:50 Glee 13:50 The Simpsons 14:55 Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals 17:30 Deal or No Deal 18:30 Time Team 19:30 Channel 4 News 19:55 4thought.tv 20:00 Come Dine with Me 21:00 Civilization: Is the West History? 22:00 Country House Rescue 23:00 Taken CHANNEL 5 00:10 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

01:05 SuperCasino 05:00 Your Sport 05:05 How Not to Decorate 05:50 Meals in Moments 06:00 Hana’s Helpline 06:10 The Milkshake! Show 06:35 Thomas & Friends 06:45 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Fifi and the Flowertots 07:25 Fireman Sam 07:40 Miss Spider’s Sunny Patch Friends 07:50 The Beeps 08:00 Mio Mao 08:05 Chiro 08:15 Harry and His Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 08:25 Make Way for Noddy 08:35 Igam Ogam 08:50 Animal Families 09:00 Little Princess 09:15 Milkshake Monkey 09:20 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:30 Family! 09:40 Rupert Bear 09:55 Bert and Ernie’s Great Adventures 10:00 Olivia 10:15 The Mr Men Show 10:30 The Milkshake! Show 11:00 Starlight: For the Children 11:30 Ice Road Truckers 12:30 Cowboy Builders 13:30 SPYkids 15:10 Mrs Winterbourne 17:15 5 News Weekend 17:20 TMNT 19:05 The Mask 21:00 Royal Navy Caribbean Patrol 22:00 Phone Booth 23:40 Double Team


41

Friday, 11th March, 2011

Monday 14th March 00:25 Would I Lie to You? 00:55 Reggie Perrin 01:25 Lead Balloon 01:55 Weatherview 02:30 Faulks on Fiction 03:30 Holby City 04:30 Imagine 05:20 BBC News 05:30 HARDtalk 06:00 The World Today 06:30 World Business Report 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Heir Hunters 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Britain’s Empty Homes 12:30 Cash in the Attic 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Escape to the Country 16:00 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 16:05 The Smokehouse 16:35 Deadly 60 Bite Size 16:40 Deadly Art 16:55 Shaun the Sheep 17:00 Horrible Histories 17:30 All Over the Place 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Comic Relief Does Glee Club 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 20:00 The One Show 20:30 Bang Goes the Theory 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 Panorama 22:00 Waking the Dead 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 Mrs Brown’s Boys BBC 2 01:00 ICC Cricket World Cup Highlights 02:00 The Boys of Sunset Ridge 03:30 Dateline London

04:00 04:30 05:00 05:30 05:50 06:20 07:00 07:10 07:25 07:40 07:50 08:00 08:25 08:30 08:45 09:00 09:30 09:55 10:10 10:25 10:40 10:45 10:55 11:05 11:20 11:25 11:45 12:05 12:35 13:00 14:00 15:30 16:00 16:45 17:30 18:15 Mouth

BBC News The Record Europe BBC News HARDtalk The Super League Show Close Finley the Fire Engine Zigby The Large Family Little Robots Rastamouse Barney’s Latin America Newsround Muddle Earth Eliot Kid Paradise Cafe LazyTown Numberjacks The Koala Brothers Big Barn Farm Little Human Planet Timmy Time 3rd & Bird Postman Pat: SDS Pingu 64 Zoo Lane Waybuloo In the Night Garden Meerkat Manor Daily Politics Speed Skating Restoration Roadshow Flog It! Ten of the Best Helicopter Heroes Pointless Put Your Money Where Your Is

19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Royal Upstairs Downstairs20:00 Coast 21:00 University Challenge 21:30 Raymond Blanc’s Kitchen Secrets 22:00 The Secret War on Terror 23:00 Never Mind the Buzzcocks 23:30 Newsnight ITV 00:20 Union 01:20 03:00 05:30 06:30 07:00 09:30 10:25 11:30 13:30 14:30 14:55 15:00 16:00 16:59 17:00 18:00 19:00 19:30 20:00 20:30 21:00 21:30 22:00

Anglo-Welsh Cup Rugby The Zone Sweet Charity ITV Nightscreen ITV Morning News Daybreak Lorraine The Jeremy Kyle Show This Morning Loose Women ITV News and Weather Meridian News and Weather House Gift The Alan Titchmarsh Show Meridian Weather Midsomer Murders The Chase Meridian Tonight ITV News and Weather Emmerdale Coronation Street The Lakes Coronation Street Law & Order: UK

THE SECRET WAR ON TERROR Part one of two. Peter Taylor explores the intelligence war that has been fought against al-Qaeda since September 11, 2001, and asks whether the West is any safer as a result. He examines the increasingly extreme interrogation techniques that were devised in a desperate need to prevent a second wave of attacks.

23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 Homes from Hell CHANNEL 4 00:50 The Cave 02:35 Going Back 03:30 The Family 04:25 Without a Trace 05:10 Reaper 06:00 Grudge Match 06:15 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 06:40 Countdown 07:25 The Hoobs 08:15 Freshly Squeezed 08:45 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:15 Frasier 09:40 According to Jim 10:10 Supernanny USA 11:00 The Good Wife 11:55 Relocation: Phil Down Under 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 The TV Book Club 13:30 Reach for the Sky 16:10 Countdown 16:55 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 18:30 Coach Trip 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Dispatches: Britain’s Secret Fat Cats

22:00 One Born Every Minute 23:00 The Event CHANNEL 5 01:25 Extreme Fishing with Robson Green 02:15 SuperCasino 05:00 Your Sport 05:05 How Not to Decorate 05:50 Meals in Moments 06:00 Hana’s Helpline 06:10 The Milkshake! Show 06:35 Thomas & Friends 06:45 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 Roary the Racing Car 07:20 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 07:35 Elmo’s World 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 Little Princess 08:05 Roobarb and Custard Too 08:15 The Mr Men Show 08:30 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Make Way for Noddy 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:40 Hana’s Helpline 09:50 The WotWots 10:00 Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:05 Cowboy Builders 13:00 Meals in Moments 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:20 House 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 The Vanessa Show 16:05 The Family Recipe 16:20 Earthstorm 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:25 OK! TV 20:00 5 News at 7 20:30 How Do They Do It? 21:00 The Gadget Show 22:00 Chaos


42

Friday, 11th March, 2011

Tuesday 15th March 00:05 Late Kick Off 00:35 The Graham Norton Show 01:20 The Apprentice USA 02:05 Weatherview 02:50 Silk 03:50 Imagine: Ray Davies Imaginary Man 05:05 Life in a Cottage Garden with Carol Klein 05:35 HARDtalk 06:00 The World Today 06:30 World Business Report 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Heir Hunters 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Britain’s Empty Homes 12:30 Cash in the Attic 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Escape to the Country 16:00 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 16:05 The Smokehouse 16:35 Deadly 60 Bite Size 16:40 Deadly Art 16:55 Shaun the Sheep 17:00 Horrible Histories 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Comic Relief Does Glee Club 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 Holby City 22:00 Silk 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 Neighbourhood Watched BBC 2 00:20 ICC Cricket World Cup Highlights 01:20 An Island Parish 01:50 BBC World News America 02:00 BBC News 02:30 ABC World News with Diane Sawyer 03:00 BBC News 03:30 The Record

04:00 BBC News 04:30 The Bottom Line 05:00 Primary Schools: Human Planet - Change and Sustainability 06:00 Markets 06:30 L8R Youngers 07:00 Finley the Fire Engine 07:10 Zigby 07:25 The Large Family 07:40 Little Robots 07:50 Rastamouse 08:00 Barney’s Latin America 08:25 Newsround 08:30 Muddle Earth 08:45 Eliot Kid 09:00 Paradise Cafe 09:30 LazyTown 09:55 Numberjacks 10:10 The Koala Brothers 10:25 Big Barn Farm 10:40 Little Human Planet 10:45 Timmy Time 10:55 3rd & Bird 11:05 Postman Pat: SDS 11:20 Pingu 11:25 64 Zoo Lane 11:40 Chuggington: Badge Quest 11:45 Waybuloo 12:05 In the Night Garden 12:35 Meerkat Manor 13:00 Daily Politics 13:30 GMT with George Alagiah 14:00 Diagnosis Murder 14:45 To Buy or Not to Buy 15:30 Restoration Roadshow 16:00 Flog It! Ten of the Best 16:45 Helicopter Heroes 17:30 Pointless 18:15 Put Your Money Where Your

Mouth Is 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Royal Upstairs Downstairs 20:00 Wonders of the Universe 21:00 The Hairy Bikers: Mums Know Best 22:00 Bible’s Buried Secrets 23:00 Have I Got Old News for You 23:30 Newsnight ITV 00:35 River Monsters 01:30 The Zone 03:35 UEFA Champions League Weekly 04:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show 04:55 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 House Gift 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 Midsomer Murders 18:00 The Chase 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Grimefighters 21:00 Lion Country 22:00 Caroline Quentin: A Passage Through India 23:00 ITV News at Ten and

Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 Before Sunset

20:55 21:00 22:00 23:00 Rags

4thought.tv Gok’s Clothes Roadshow Heston’s Mission Impossible Lily Allen: From Riches to

CHANNEL 4 CHANNEL 5 00:05 The Event 01:05 The Album Chart Show: The View 01:40 Album Chart Show Introduces: The Naked and Famous 01:55 Kings of Leon: T4 Special 02:20 Rome Wasn’t Built in a Day 03:15 Royal Deaths and Diseases 04:10 Codex 05:05 The Bible: A History 06:00 Without a Trace 06:45 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 07:10 The Treacle People 07:20 The Hoobs 08:10 Freshly Squeezed 08:35 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:00 Frasier 09:30 The Morning Line 10:30 According to Jim 11:00 The Good Wife 11:55 A Place in the Sun: Home or Away 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Seaside Secrets 13:20 River Cottage Bites 13:25 Cheltenham Festival 17:15 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 18:30 Coach Trip 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News

BIBLE'S BURIED SECRETS New series. Dr Francesca Stavrakopoulou, senior lecturer in the Hebrew Bible at the University of Exeter, examines how archaeological discoveries are changing the way people interpret Christian and Jewish scripture. She begins by exploring the historical basis for the reign of King David, who is depicted in the Old Testament as a boy warrior.

18th March

00:15 Best of the Best 02:05 SuperCasino 05:00 How Not to Decorate 05:45 Nick’s Quest 06:10 Wildlife SOS 06:35 House Doctor 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 Roary the Racing Car 07:20 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 07:35 Elmo’s World 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 Little Princess 08:05 Roobarb and Custard Too 08:15 The Mr Men Show 08:30 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Make Way for Noddy 08:55 Milkshake! Show Songs 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:10 Bert and Ernie’s Great Adventures 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:40 Hana’s Helpline 09:50 The WotWots 10:00 Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:05 Cowboy Builders 13:00 Meals in Moments 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:20 House 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 The Vanessa Show 16:05 The Family Recipe 16:15 The Alphabet Murders 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:25 OK! TV 20:00 5 News at 7 20:30 Extraordinary Dogs 21:00 Stansted: The Inside Story 22:00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 23:00 CSI: Miami 23:55 CSI: NY


43

Friday, 11th March, 2011

Wednesday 16th March 00:20 Girls Behind Bars 01:25 See Hear 01:55 Human Planet 02:55 When Teenage Meets Old Age 03:55 Natural World 04:55 Nuns Aloud 05:50 HARDtalk 06:00 The World Today 06:30 World Business Report 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Heir Hunters 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Britain’s Empty Homes 12:30 Cash in the Attic 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Escape to the Country 16:00 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 16:05 The Smokehouse 16:35 Deadly 60 Bite Size 16:40 Deadly Art 16:55 Shaun the Sheep 17:00 Horrible Histories 17:30 All Over the Place 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Comic Relief Does Glee Club 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 20:00 The One Show 20:30 BBC News; Regional News 21:00 Waterloo Road 22:00 MasterChef 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 The National Lottery Wednesday Night Draws 23:45 Film 2011 with Claudia Winkleman BBC 2 00:20 ICC Cricket World Cup Highlights 01:20 BBC News 01:30 BBC World News America 02:00 BBC News 02:30 ABC World News with Diane Sawyer

03:00 BBC News 03:30 The Record 04:00 BBC News 04:30 Reporters 05:00 Secondary Schools: Human Planet - Change and Sustainability 06:00 The World, My Stuff and Me 06:30 IT in the Workplace 07:00 Finley the Fire Engine 07:10 Zigby 07:25 The Large Family 07:40 Little Robots 07:50 Rastamouse 08:00 Barney’s Latin America 08:25 Newsround 08:30 Muddle Earth 08:45 Eliot Kid 09:00 Paradise Cafe 09:30 LazyTown 09:55 Numberjacks 10:10 The Koala Brothers 10:25 Big Barn Farm 10:40 Little Human Planet 10:45 Timmy Time 10:55 3rd & Bird 11:05 Postman Pat: SDS 11:20 Pingu 11:25 64 Zoo Lane 11:40 Waybuloo 12:00 In the Night Garden 12:30 Daily Politics 14:00 See Hear 14:30 Hairy Bikers Short 14:45 To Buy or Not to Buy 15:30 Restoration Roadshow 16:00 Flog It! Ten of the Best 16:45 Helicopter Heroes 17:30 Pointless 18:15 Put Your Money Where Your

Mouth 19:00 19:30 20:00 21:00 22:00 23:00 23:30

Is Eggheads Royal Upstairs Downstairs Escape to the Country Great British Food Revival Leaving Amish Paradise Mock the Week Again Newsnight

ITV 01:10 The Zone 03:15 Crossing Jordan 04:00 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 House Gift 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 Midsomer Murders 18:00 The Chase 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 UEFA Champions League Live 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 UEFA Champions League: Extra Time

WARS OF THE ROSES: A TIME TEAM SPECIAL Tony Robinson heads to Leicestershire to examine archaeological discoveries at the site of the Battle of Bosworth, a confrontation that took place in 1485 and led to Henry Tudor taking the English Crown.

CHANNEL 4 00:05 The Big C 00:40 Facejacker 01:10 Cheltenham Festival Highlights 01:45 UK & Ireland Poker Tour 02:40 FIS Freestyle World Ski Championships 03:10 The Grid 03:35 KOTV Boxing Weekly 04:00 Powerboating 04:30 Britain’s Favourite Yacht Race 04:55 Triathlon ITU World Championship Series Magazine 05:50 Full Metal Challenge 06:45 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 07:10 Sali Mali 07:15 The Hoobs 08:05 Freshly Squeezed 08:35 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:00 Frasier 09:30 The Morning Line 10:30 According to Jim 11:00 The Good Wife 11:55 Country House Rescue 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Seaside Secrets 13:20 River Cottage Bites 13:25 Cheltenham Festival 17:15 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 18:30 Coach Trip 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv

21:00 Wars of the Roses: A Time Team Special 22:00 Jamie’s Dream School 23:00 The Model Agency CHANNEL 5 00:55 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 01:55 SuperCasino 05:00 How Not to Decorate 05:45 Nick’s Quest 06:10 Wildlife SOS 06:35 House Doctor 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 Roary the Racing Car 07:20 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 07:35 Elmo’s World 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 Little Princess 08:05 Roobarb and Custard Too 08:15 The Mr Men Show 08:30 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Make Way for Noddy 08:55 Milkshake! Show Songs 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:10 Bert and Ernie’s Great Adventures 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:40 Hana’s Helpline 09:50 The WotWots 10:00 Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:05 Cowboy Builders 13:00 Meals in Moments 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:20 House 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 The Vanessa Show 16:05 The Family Recipe 16:15 Crimes of Passion 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:25 OK! TV 20:00 5 News at 7 20:30 Starlight: For the Children 21:00 Emergency Bikers 22:00 NCIS 23:00 Law & Order: Criminal Intent


44

Friday, 11th March, 2011

Thursday 17th March 00:25 Amadeus: Director’s Cut 03:20 Country Tracks 04:15 Toughest Place to Be a Bus Driver 05:15 Baking Made Easy 05:45 Smoking and the Bandits: Panorama 06:00 The World Today 06:30 World Business Report 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Heir Hunters 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Britain’s Empty Homes 12:30 Cash in the Attic 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Escape to the Country 16:00 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 16:05 The Smokehouse 16:35 Deadly 60 Bite Size 16:40 Deadly Art 16:55 Shaun the Sheep 17:00 Horrible Histories 17:30 All Over the Place 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Comic Relief Does Glee Club 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 DIY SOS: The Big Build Chessington 22:00 The Big Red Nose Desert Trek 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 Question Time BBC 2 00:20 ICC Cricket World Cup Highlights 01:20 BBC News 01:30 BBC World News America 02:00 BBC News 02:30 ABC World News with Diane Sawyer

03:00 03:30 04:00 04:30 05:00 05:30 06:00 07:00 07:10 07:25 07:50 08:00 08:25 08:30 08:45 09:00 09:30 09:55 10:10 10:25 10:40 10:45 10:55 11:05 11:20 11:25 11:45 12:05 12:35 13:00 13:30 14:00 14:45 15:30 16:00 16:45 17:30

BBC News The Record BBC News Click Love Hurts Coping Class Clips - Social Care Finley the Fire Engine Zigby Jakers! Rastamouse Barney’s Latin America Newsround Muddle Earth Eliot Kid The Sparticle Mystery LazyTown Numberjacks The Koala Brothers Big Barn Farm Little Human Planet Timmy Time 3rd & Bird Postman Pat: SDS Pingu 64 Zoo Lane Waybuloo In the Night Garden Meerkat Manor Daily Politics GMT with George Alagiah Diagnosis Murder To Buy or Not to Buy Restoration Roadshow Flog It! Ten of the Best Helicopter Heroes Pointless

18:15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Royal Upstairs Downstairs 20:00 Decade of Discovery 21:00 A Farmer’s Life for Me 22:00 The British at Work 23:00 ICC Cricket World Cup Highlights 23:30 Newsnight ITV 00:35 01:30 03:30 05:25 06:30 07:00 09:30 10:25 11:30 13:30 14:30 14:55 15:00 16:00 16:59 17:00 18:00 19:00 19:30 20:00 20:30 21:00 21:30 22:00

Cops with Cameras The Zone American Graffiti ITV Nightscreen ITV Morning News Daybreak Lorraine The Jeremy Kyle Show This Morning Loose Women ITV News and Weather Meridian News and Weather House Gift The Alan Titchmarsh Show Meridian Weather Midsomer Murders The Chase Meridian Tonight ITV News and Weather Emmerdale Charities in Crisis: Tonight Emmerdale Coronation Street Monroe

DECADE OF DISCOVERY Chris Packham selects his top 10 wildlife discoveries made since the year 2000, including a rare pygmy sloth with the ability to swim, a walking shark, a previously unknown type of lemur and a small mammal related to the elephant - with a nose to match. He also introduces the stories of how the species were found, as told by the scientists and explorers responsible.

23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 Benidorm

19:30 20:00 20:55 21:00 22:00 23:00

Hollyoaks Channel 4 News 4thought.tv Relocation, Relocation Love Thy Neighbour 10 O’Clock Live

CHANNEl 4 CHANNEL 5 00:05 Lily Allen: From Riches to Rags 01:05 Cheltenham Festival Highlights 01:40 4Music Favourites: Avril Lavigne 02:10 4Play: The Vaccines 02:25 The Album Chart Show Spotlight 02:40 Frontier House 03:35 Only Yesterday 05:40 Reaper 06:25 Countdown 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 08:55 Frasier 09:30 The Morning Line 10:30 According to Jim 11:00 The Good Wife 11:55 The Restoration Man 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 In Your Dreams 13:20 River Cottage Bites 13:25 Cheltenham Festival 17:15 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 18:30 Coach Trip 19:00 The Simpsons

00:00 Law & Order: Special Victims Unit 00:55 Law & Order 01:55 SuperCasino 05:00 How Not to Decorate 05:45 Nick’s Quest 06:10 Wildlife SOS 06:35 House Doctor 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 Roary the Racing Car 07:20 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 07:35 Elmo’s World 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 Little Princess 08:05 Roobarb and Custard Too 08:15 The Mr Men Show 08:30 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Make Way for Noddy 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:40 Hana’s Helpline 09:50 The WotWots 10:00 Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:05 How Not to Decorate 13:00 Meals in Moments 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:20 House 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 The Vanessa Show 16:05 The Family Recipe 16:15 Living with the Enemy 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:25 OK! TV 20:00 5 News at 7 20:30 Live UEFA Europa League Football 23:10 The Order


45

Friday, 11th March, 2011

SPORT ON THE BOX All the top sport on TV in your Good News ‘paper

FA CUP HIGHLIGHTS ITV1 Saturday, March 12th, 11:30pm to 12:30am

CRICKET WORLD CUP HIGHLIGHTS BBC 2 Sunday, March 13th, 12:00pm to 01:00am

RUGBY HIGHLIGHTS ITV1 London Sunday, March 13th, 12:15pm to 13:15pm

LATE KICK OFF BBC 1 London. Monday, March 14th, 12:05pm to 12:35am A weekly round-up of regional Football League action.

LONG BALLS

All the action from the Premier & La Liga

KENNY BELIEVE IT..! Liverpool take the spoils against Man U while Real continue to chase Barca in La Liga By Malcolm Palmer Liverpool take pride of place this week, Kop idol Kenny Dalglish showing that not only is there life after Torres, but that Luis Suarez was a bargain buy, and Dirk Kuyt’s new-found freedom gives hope for the future, whilst a glum Sir Alex refused to speak to the press, as his aging squad shows signs of sliding from their pinnacle. West Ham have finally fought their way out of the relegation places, but the place in which they now find themselves is as crowded as Waterloo Station at half past eight in the morning, with a whole bunch of clubs fighting for survival. A similar situation exists in La Liga, and any three from eight or even ten is

the permutation that determines who will be visiting Real Madrid and Barcelona, instead of Huesca and Alcorcon, next term. Barcelona had an uncharacteristically nervy win over Zaragoza in the Nou Camp, and Real Madrid, without the injured Ronaldo, made light of taking three points from Racing in Santander, Özil and Benzema shining – we were spared the undignified sight of Racing’s extrovert new president jumping up and down! Moving on to the Champions’ League,

Barcelona v Arsenal promises to be a fascinating affair, with the Londoners holding a minimal advantage from the first leg, while Valencia face Raul and Jurado (both ex Madrid) in their return against Schalke. Next week, Madrid will be crossing their fingers about Cristiano Ronaldo’s recovery for their home leg against bogeymen Olympique Lyons, while Tottenham and Manchester United must both be hoping to proceed. In the respective second divisions, Queen’s Park Rangers and Swansea show no signs of weakening, whilst here Celta had a setback against plucky Alcorcon, giving Betis a sniff of a top two (automatic promotion) place, and Elche’s win at Albacete gives them hope of a place in the play-offs.


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Friday, 11th March, 2011

SPORTS ROUND-UP Rugby Union

This weekend is round four of this year’s matches. With France travelling to Rome to play Italy in the early game on Saturday and then Wales take on Ireland in Cardiff later on that day. England takes on the old enemy from over the northern border. Scotland arrives at Twickenham pointless and that could mean trouble for England as they will be really up for this game. England needs to win this so they then travel to Ireland a week later to win the grand slam.

Moto GP With the start of the new season now only a week away we have the line-up for all the teams in this year’s GP. The major change for this season is Valentino Ross Going to Ducati from Yamaha and Casey Stoner leaving

Ducati for Honda to make the Honda team a very strong outfit... We also have a new British rider in Cal Crutchlow riding for Monster Yamaha Tech 3. We will preview the race next week and this one will be at night under lights in Qatar.

Cricket World Cup 2011 It happened, as I said last week, we go and loose to Ireland. Then four days later we set South Africa 172 to win and we get home by 6 runs in a great game as I say England and World Cups. This world cup goes on far too long with mainly only one match per day the final is not until the 2nd April. Local fans rush for tickets Police in Nagpur have been involved in confrontations with cricket fans queuing for tickets to see India's match against South Africa on 12 March. On Tuesday the police charged crowds outside the Vidarbha Cricket Association Stadium with sticks.

With Mick Hardy from Kidease SPORT THIS WEEK

Fans had been waiting since Monday evening and some are said to have broken barriers and rushed the ticket offices, prompting the action. To follow all the action and keep up to date log on to the following web site. http://cricket.yahoo.com/

Golf

Weekend Fixtures Sat 12th Mar Italy V France 15.30 Sat 12th Mar Wales V Ireland 18.00 Sun 13th Mar England V Scotland 16.00

Honda Classic The only event last week took place at the Palm Beach garLA LIGA dens in Florida. Rory Sabbatini’s sixth PGA Tour win a Saturday, 12 March 2011 9 under par total thrusts him Almeria v Atletico Madrid, 18:00 back into the World Golf Championships and Real Madrid v Hercules, 20:00 the Masters, for which he wasn’t previously eligible. The British lads did not fare well as Real Zaragoza v Valencia, 21:00 the wind blow for the first three days then the rain came on the last. L Donald (Eng)+3 G Sunday, 13 March 2011 McDowell (NI), L Westwood (Eng) +4 I Poulter Espanyol v Deportivo La Coruna, 17:00 (Eng) +8R McIlroy (NI) +11. This week the Levante v Mallorca, 17:00 tour moves on to the WGC–Cadillac Osasuna v Racing Santander, 17:00 Championship at the Doral Golf resort in Florida. Real Sociedad v Malaga, 17:00 Villarreal v Sporting Gijon, 18:00 Sevilla v Barcelona, 21:00

A WHOLE LOTTA RUNNING! NINTH OLIVA QUARTER AND HALF MARATHONS

In what was two races for the price of one in Oliva on Sunday (6), when around 760 keen competitors took part in the Quarter (10.55km) and Half (21.1km) Marathons. The very flat course and the beautiful sunny weather conditions made for some pretty speedy times. The winner of the Quarter Marathon, Juanra Pous Perez of C A Franc Beneyto R Denia, finished in a time of 35.20. Raúl Palacios Pardo (C A Rev Mediterraneo Novelda) came home second in 36:34, with Abraham Pastor Tomas of C A Apol*Ana third in 37:10. In the ladies version of the shorter race Sara Garcia Boix (43:30), competing for C A L’Olleria, won first prize. She was followed home by two members of C A Safor – Cafemax, Maria Carmen Millet Vila (44:06) and Olivia Peiró Sabater (45:57), who finished second and third respectively. Speedster Agustin Sieres Gomez of C A Cullera completed the two laps of the Half Marathon course in the tremendous time of 1:10:50. He crossed the line over two and a half minutes in front of runner-up David Ruiz Gomez (1:13:42) of C A Aper Alcoi, who was precisely two minutes ahead of Salvador Palero Martinez, also of C A Cullera, in third. The ‘incredible running machine’ Maxine McKinnon, of C A

SIX NATIONS RUGBY

Monday, 14 March 2011 Getafe v Athletic Bilbao, 21:00 CRICKET – WORLD CUP England’s games this week: March 11th Bangladesh 09.00am March 17th West Indies 10.00am GOLF

Chrissie and Jeff Dianium, inevitably took the 21.1km PB time down to the Half Marathon, but also bicyspoils in the ladies race, crossing 1:28:37. cled across from Moraira prior to the finish line in 1:22:50. In sec- A number of other Brits also ran the race. Jim’s wife Denise also ond position was Carmen Sala in the sun in the Half Marathon, took part in the Quarter Ferrer (C E Dorsal 19 Pego) in including Amanda Fletcher Marathon, finishing in 1:03:58. 1:25:36 and the third podium (1:41:00) of C A Franc Beneyto R The first event in the 15th Circuit place was filled by Raquel Denia, C C Camallaes’ Rosalie a Peu Marina Alta takes place Almiñana Fuertes (1:33:54), run- Ellingworth (1:49:42) and Elaine this Sunday (13). The 10 kilomening for C A Cullera. Symmons (2:23:08). As part of tre race around the seaside town However Maxine was not the their training for the Lanzarote of Javea (Xabia), commences at only expat runner to lift a trophy; IronMan in May, two other C B 10:00. If you fancy entering the Chrissie Thomas matched her Striders, Jim Stanners (1:37:40) nine race series or want more Pego Half Marathon perform- and Mark ‘Stretch’ Carson information visit www.somesance by claiming second place in (1:50:10) not only competed in port.com. the Vets B category LOCAL SPORT and a new personal best time of 1:38:23 and 63-year-old Costa C.F. Group Caliche 2 - 2 San Fulgencio C.F. Blanca Strider Jeff Sponsored by 900telecom.com Whittington also Next Sunday the Saints host Montesinos All Sports kick-off 12:00hrs. See web equalled his Pego site for more details www.sanfulgenciocf.com race third spot in the Orihuela Costa F.C. Cadetes (childrens team) match report Vets C (Over 55s) cat- Thader Rojales 0 v 5 Orihuela Costa F.C. egory, and took his sponsored by Morgans Bar & Amber Pools. For more info on Orihuela Costa F.C. who are based at Playa Flamenca contact George Marshall on: 679 77 44 88 or visit www.orihuelacostafc.com ORIHUELA RFC Orihuela RFC 6 v 27 Murcia club trains on Tuesday’s and Thursday’s at the Miguel Hernandez University, seniors 20.00 to 22.00, juniors from 18.15 to 20.00. For more information contact Álvaro on 630 313 298 or Garry on 692 767 242. juniors Oscar on 600 871 606 (Spanish)

European tour Returns next week on the 17th March with the Sicilian Open in Italy Ladies Tour Next event in Phoenix on 18th March European Ladies tour Starts in Europe on the 31st March in Morocco MOTO GP MotoGP calendar 2011 Date 20-Mar 03-Apr 24-Apr 01-May 15-May 05-Jun 12-Jun 25-Jun 03-Jul 17-Jul 24-Jul 14-Aug 28-Aug 04-Sep 18-Sep 16-Oct 23-Oct 06-Nov

Location Qatar, Losail Spain, Jerez Japan, Motegi Portugal, Estoril France, Le Mans Catalonia, Barcelona Great Britain, Silverstone Netherlands, Assen Italy, Mugello Germany, Sachsenring United States, Laguna Seca Czech Republic, Brno United States, Indianapolis San Marino, Misano Spain, Aragon Australia, Phillip Island Malaysia, Sepang Spain, Valencia


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Friday, 11th March, 2011

SANTO CLAWS ONE BACK SANTOS SETS ELCHE ON THE ROAD TO VICTORY AT ALBACETE

ALBACETE 0 V 2 ELCHE "it’s clear that the club is in a serious situation’’ - Albacete Manager David Vidal

By Dan Smith In the corner enclosure of Albacete's Carlos Belmonte stadium a small sea of green and white scarfs clutched by cold hands rocked back and forth during this do or die fixture for both teams. Elche, six days after their win against Numancia, wanted nothing more than a win, keeping a play-off spot a reality whilst their opponents, Albacete, wanted anything but defeat. The men from Castilla managing only two goals in their last nine games now find themselves second from bottom. Ex Elche boss David Vidal was recently appointed to work his Houdini magic after the dismissal of manager Antonio

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Calderon (ex Raith Rovers) 15 days previously. In a division so equally balanced every small detail has a consequence, as both Elche and Albacete now must realise. Saturday’s fixture was proof of this being a game played on a hard bouncy surface that lacked brilliance. both teams in-spite of the conditions and their nervousness , created clear goal scoring opportunities and but for some classy goalkeeping by Albacete's Keylor Navas (saving twice from Elche captain Samuel and a one on one with forward Palanca) Elche were just good enough to be in front by the break. As the second half got underway, it was clear by new boss Vidal’s touch-line armwaving antics that his team were going to

corner on 24 minute was glanced just wide by Pamarot, but Cristian and Thomert impressed f or the Alicantinos. A scramble in the visitors’ area after 27 minutes almost brought a goal for Thomert, who headed wide. Tote had a reasonable claim for a penalty turned down just afterwards. A Tote cross gave Trezeguet a golden chance, but he headed way wide – awful! Almería went close after 33 min-

A curiosity is that the two keepers for this game share the distinction of being the best shot-stoppers in the league, probably due in part to the poor form of their teams. For the home side Pulhac was back after suspension, Farinós was back in midfield, and Cristian was also selected to start. Trezeguet was left alone up front – ‘Robinson Crusoe.’ For the kick-off, on a cool, sunny afternoon, some 18,000 were present, including a vociferous contingent from Almería. Thomert’s run and cross only just failed to find Trezeguet after two minutes, but an away counter saw Calatayud in action after five minutes. Honours were about even in the first 15 minutes, but after a fine run by Thomert; Cristian’s shot curled just wide. Tote got a shot in from the edge of the area after 20 minutes, but it was a weak effort. Farinos’ Mo Mbani celebrates the winner

have to dig deep. Midfielder Diego Camacho brought out the best from Elche keeper Jaime and minutes later Tato was unable to get a foot on to a low ball across the Elche goal mouth. Ángel came close for the visitors but once again the acrobatics of keeper Navas gave the five thousand cold and agitated Albacete fans something to applaud - but very little else gave them hope. The game turned a corner with 10 minutes to go when Santos, back from a long term injury, came on for Palanca with David Sanchez replacing Xumetra minutes later. It was Sanchez that gave the visitors the spark that they desperately needed. A brilliant pass to Ángel which brought about another fine stop by the keeper but this

utes, but the ball was deflected for a corner. Farinós made a hash of a free kick on 36 minutes, and the ponderous Abel Aguilar won another, after which Pamarot’s header brought a good save from Diego Alves. Cortes’ centre found Tote offside, and Hercules seemed to have little to offer as the half ended, with Cristian and Tote working hard, but achieving little. When

time he was not as lucky as Santos, unmarked on the back post, netted the rebound making for a nervous last eight minutes. The home side had just two minutes to compose themselves before Kike Mateo with a scrappy fumbled shot inside the six yard box put the game out of reach for the home side. Albacete Manager David Vidal said after the game, "it’s clear that the club is in a serious situation, games last 93 or 97 minutes and not 70 as some of the players seem to think and fitness is an issue which we hope we can put right in time" Elche boss José Bordalas said “our patience paid off, and we did just enough to take the 3 points"

Pamarot came forward, he looked the best forward! There were no changes at the start of the second half, but Thomert had moved into the centre alongside Trezeguet. A free kick when Tote was brought down after 49 minutes gave Farinos a free kick which Abraham Paz nodded confidently into the net – 1-0. Abl Aguilar might have added another two minutes later, but

headed Pulhac’s cross wide. Another good attack by the home side was instigated by Tote, but finishing was lacking, then Thomert saw a yellow card after an hour’s play. There were a few scares in the Hercules goalmouth, but then Tote’s fine chip was crashed just over the bar by Trezeguet. Sendoa replaced Thomert after 65 minutes. Tote limped off with 22 minutes left on the clock and was replaced by Kiko just as Deghouli latched onto a rebound and equalized for the visitors. 1-1 Five minutes later, a great cross was banged home by Mo Mbani, to take the lead for the Andalucian side 1-2. Portillo came on for Pulhac, in a desperate attempt to get an attack moving, after 78 minutes, but the visitors were looking the better side as time ran out. Kiko was brought down; giving Farinós a late chance, but his shot sailed over the bar. That just about wrapped it up, and things are looking grim for Hercules and their manager !


Friday, 11th March, 2011

EYES WIDE SHUT

Second Division looms for Hercules after dismal loss.

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Hercules 1 Almería 2

Tote celebrates but was later substituted

Photos: Mark Welton By Malcolm Palmer After a run of poor results, and some spirited efforts by their direct rivals, to say that injury-hit Hercules were in need of three points was like saying that a car needs wheels. Esteban Vigo has juggled whatever players happen to be available to the best of his ability, but key absentees like the spirited goal-scoring Uruguayan, Nelson Valdez, and the ‘Flying Dutchman’ Royston Drenthe (whose behaviour,

it has to be said, has bordered on the bizarre) have not helped. Almería, for their part, have been trying hard to climb off the bottom of the league, achieving some fighting draws in recent outings.

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