The Courier 181

Edition 2

(181)

www.thecourier.es

Friday, August 8, 2014

VIRUS VICTIM RETURNS Priest isolated in Madrid hospital

By ALEX TRELINSKI An elderly Spanish missionary who con­ tracted the deadly Ebola virus in Liberia arrived in Madrid yes­ terday(Thursday), becoming the first patient in the recent outbreak to be evacu­ ated to Europe for treatment.

An Airbus A310 carrying 75­year­old Roman Catholic priest, Miguel Pajares landed at the Spanish capital's Torrejon military air base yesterday morning. The priest had tested positive for Ebola at the Saint Joseph Hospital in the Liberian capital Monrovia where he worked.

He has been quarantined and is getting treatment from just two medical pro­ fessionals in what is the first case of Ebola to be treated in a Spanish hospi­ tal. The risk of contagion is very low, Spanish health officials have said. The priest came down with the virus after visiting the direc­ tor of the Order of Saint John of God hospital, who has since died of the dis­ ease.

The military flight also evacuated Spanish nun

Juliana Bohi, who had worked at the same hospi­ tal. She is not known to be infected with Ebola but has nevertheless been isolated for treatment. The patients were transferred in a con­ voy of 14 vehicles, includ­ ing cars and motorbikes from the national and local police forces, and the Civil Guard. Three ambulances were also present, the driv­ ers of which were wearing protective masks. The patients were taken into the hospital through a side door, avoiding the main entrance, w h e r e dozens of journalists were waiting.

Pajares and Bohi, who were carrying out humanitarian work in Liberia, have been put in separate iso­ lated rooms with negative air pressure, meaning that air from the room will not seep out.

Staff will

have to enter via one door and leave via another, where they will leave their protective clothing, in case it has become contaminat­ ed.

Ebola causes severe fever and, in the worst cases, unstoppable bleed­ ing. It is transmitted through close contact with bodily fluids, and people who live with or care for patients are most at risk.

Since breaking out earlier this year, the epidemic has claimed 932 lives and infected more than 1,700 people across West Africa, according to the World

Health Organization. Other cases have been reported in Guinea, Sierra Leone and Nigeria.

The Valencian region health minister, Manuel Llombart, has said that con­ trols at local airports and ports will be “strengthened” but did not expand on what that would mean in practice.

He added that the appropri­ ate protocol for dealing with infectious diseases like Ebola had been enacted, with eight hospitals in Alicante Province, including Torrevieja, Elche General, and Elche Vinalopó having infectious diseases units.

YO UR NE XT C O UR IE R The Courier will be published a day early next week (Thursday August 14th) because of Friday’s National Holiday.

Our latest edition is always online at www.thecourier.es

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Friday, August 8, 2014

Are you a snapper? Do you have a great photo? Send it to design@thecourier.es and if we think it is good enough we will publish it as our Picture of the Week TELEPHONE

E­MAIL office@thecourier.es WEB www.thecourier.es HEAD OFFICE Calle Luis Canovas Martinez 1. Urb Aguas Nuevas, Torrevieja 03183, ALICANTE PHONE: 96 692 1003 Email: office@thecourier.es OPENING HOURS Mon ­ Fri 1030 to 1730 EDITOR Alex Trelinski CONSULTANT EDITOR Donna Gee ADVERTISING SALES 966 921 003 office@thecourier.es TELESALES 966 921 003 679 096 309 Sally Los Alcazares, San Javier 618 391 491 Myra Quesada, Rojales, Torrevieja, San Miguel Tel. 618 583 765 Jean La Zenia, Playa Flamenca, Cabo Roig Tel. 618 898 034 Patrick International Rep 5 Languages Tel 685 901 265 Writers Donna Gee Sally Bengtsson Jeanette Erath Alex Trelinski Dave Silver Tony Mayes John McGregor

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Publication Published by TKO Media and Entertainment S.L. Printed by Localprint S.L Depósito legal A ­ 188 ­ 2014 The Courier, its publishers, members of staff and its agents do not accept responsibility for any readers letters or claims by advertisers nor can it be held responsible for any errors in advertise­ ments which are reproduced from poor artwork, low quality electronic data or inadequate instructions for text or other layout features. Further no responsibility is accepted for any loss or damage caused by an error, inaccuracy or non­ appearance of any advertisement, although all advertisements produced are checked prior to insertion. We regret that we cannot accept responsibility for more than ONE incorrect insertion and that no re­publication will be granted in the case of typographical or minor changes which do not affect the value of the advertisement. E&OE. NO PART OF THIS NEWSPAPER MAY BE REPRO­ DUCED WITHOUT THE WRITTEN CONSENT OF THE PUBLISHERS.

Picture of the Week

96 692 1003 679 096 309

Cazola a room with a view Photo by CHRISTINE BURT LAMARINA.

MUM BLANKED OUT KILLED Spanish and British resi­ dents have joined forces to protest over the August clo­ sure of San Isidro’s only bank. Sabadell decided to pull down the shutters for the full month meaning local customers have no personal banking facilities and the use of a cash machine that breaks down on a regular basis. Sabadell’s area man­ ager said that it was not eco­ nomic for the branch to remain open during August, leaving residents(who do not have a bus service) facing train jour­ neys to either Crevillente or Callosa del Segura if they need a bank. Many of San

The body of a 39 year old woman , Yolanda Aniorte, was found in her Orihuela City home on Monday after she suf­ fered several blows to her head, probably on Saturday. The mother of two lived in the Capuchinos area of the city, with her 37 year old husband being subsequently arrested on Tuesday in the La Fica district of Murcia City. There was no recorded history of violence between the couple and local residents told the Spanish media claimed that there not any outward problems that they could notice. The husband is alleged to have confessed to the killing in a phone call to his sister on Monday, and according to the National Police, he believed that his wife was having an affair with his brother and bludgeoned her to death. He was due to appear in court yesterday(Thursday). Yolanda’s funeral took place in a packed Santas Justa y Rufina church in Orihuela on Wednesday afternoon.

Isidro’s residents are elderly and so cannot even drive to the local railway station to catch the services.

SELF SERVICE

Two Romanians have been arrested for a string of rob­ beries at service areas on the AP7 and E15 stretching between Valencia and Granada. The Guardia Civil suspect the two 33 year old men to be involved in over 70 incidents, and were arrested at the Santomera service area after trying to steal a couple of bags. The Guardia intercepted the suspects as they tried to flee the scene.

WANTED – MORE HEADLINE NEWS! DO YOU have a story that might grab the headlines?

What’s all the gossip about round your way? A spate of robberies, perhaps – or maybe you’ve spotted a celebrity in the neighbourhood. Whether your news involves fire, police, ambulance, accidents – or hap­

pier events like family weddings (particularly Golden and Diamond ones!), Just phone the Courier office on 966 921 003 or email office@thecourier.es We’re waiting for your call…and next week’s Front Page story.

Friday Sunny High 30° Low 23° Chance of rain 0%

Saturday Cloudy with showers High 29° Low 23 ° Chance of rain 55%

Sunday Sunny High 29° Low 20° Chance of rain 2%

Media and Entertainment SL Monday Sunny High 28° Low 21° Chance of rain 0%

Tuesday Sunny High 30° Low 20° Chance of rain 0%

Wednesday Sunny High 24° Low 18° Chance of rain 3%

Thursday Sunny High 24° Low 19° Chance of rain 18%

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Friday, August 8, 2014

BEACH DEATH CRIME NOT

GOOD AND BAD

PAYI N G ?

A 71 year old man died at Lo Pagan beach on Monday morning, with his unconscious body being found in the water in the popular spot at San Pedro del Pinatar. Emergency services were called in at 11.25am, but despite their best efforts, they could not revive the man. It’s the fifth­such death in the area involving senior citizens in recent weeks at the height of the tourist season.

MORE JOBS

Crime figures are down on the Costa Blanca, with the Orihuela area leading the way with a 9.3 per cent fall over the first six months of 2014, compared to the same period last year. There was a small drop in Torrevieja, but rises in Benidorm and Elche. The overall drop across the region was 4.7 per cent, with just 47 thousand crimes being reported to the authorities. There were especial­ ly large falls of over 20 per cent in both robberies and violent crime. Elche though saw a 1.8 per cent rise in crime, with a 10 per cent leap in cars being stolen, whilst Benidorm had a 6.7 per cent overall increase in crime figures.

CAUGHT NUT-HANDED

A ten­strong gang of Bulgarian almond rustlers has been arrested in the San Miguel de Salinas area. The cost of Spain’s dole queue has fallen by nearly 30,000 in July to hit 4,419,860 — the lowest figure since Spain's current government took power, according to official figures.

Unemployment dipped by 29,841 in July, leaving the num­ ber of people registered as looking for work as below the 4.42 million­mark which was last seen when the current PP administration took office in December 2012. July's figure is the latest in a series of strong numbers for the govern­ ment after more than 120,000 people left the jobless queues in June. Locally, just under 200,000 are unem­ ployed on the Costa Blanca, a fall of 0.43 per cent for Alicante Province, whilst the Murcia region actually saw a July rise of 1.23 per cent, taking the total to just over almonds has shot up due to the recent drought, making it a more lucrative target for thieves. In this case, neighbours 139,000 on the dole. called the police as the gang were helping themselves to the crop at a local farm and they were caught in the act stealing the almonds and loading them into the farm owner's truck.

BETTER LATE THAN NEVER

The long­awaited bus shuttle link between the high speed AVE train serv­ ice and Torrevieja was scheduled to start today(Friday August 8th). Companies RENFE and ALSA started to sell their summer season combined bus and train ticket on Monday offering travel between Madrid and Torrevieja, as well as Madrid to Benidorm, using Villena as the link station to the AVE train from Alicante to Madrid. The twice­daily full package will run until Wednesday October 8th, with more details via www.renfe.com. The shuttle service should have started last month, and despite repeated ques­ tioning, neither the politicians or the companies were able to pledge a definite start date.

POURING IN

Alicante­Elche airport has had its busiest time of the year, catering for 310 thousand passengers in a six day period leading up to last Tuesday. An extra 2.2 per cent extra seats have been sold compared to the same period last year, with the last Saturday being a record for 2014, as the facility at El Altet catered for over 51 thousand passengers. The figures put the airport well on target to have 10 million travellers using it this year.

An 84 year old British woman from San Fulgencio was the first person to use the expanded radiology facility at the Guardamar Health Centre, which came on line on Monday. It means that fewer people will have to go to Torrevieja for tests, with around 200 people expected to use the radiogra­ phy unit each week from across Guardamar, Rojales, Quesada, San Fulgencio, and Formentera del Segura. The new unit will benefit some 60 thousand people in the area.

The centre was visited last week by the Valencian Health Minister, Manuel Llombart, who on a visit to the region, admitted that plans for a Microsoft Innovation Centre at Torrevieja Hospital are officially scrapped. Llombart admitted that the much­vaunted plans and deal announced in 2010 will never happen. The "clinching" of the deal four years ago included the then­Valencian President, Francisco Camps, jetting off to New York for a meeting with Microsoft boss, Bill Gates.

BABY DUMPED

An 18 year old woman from Alcoy has been arrested on suspicion of killing her new born baby boy, and dumping the body in a waste container close to her house in the Santa Rosa area of the town. She appeared at her local hospital late on Wednesday night with medics noticing that she had given birth a short time before. The authorities got suspicious and called in the National Police who found out from her where she got rid of her baby. The Spanish national, who was born in Columbia, had apparently given birth at home, before stabbing the child.

BA N KSY C H A L L E N GE RS

Over 60 competitors took part in Torrevieja’s first ever national contest to find the most colourful and talented recycling container graffiti artist. The first prize of 1,500 euros went to David Maiques Paredes from Valencia, with Felipe Garcia Pagán of Cartagena coming second, and one thousand euros richer. The Parque de la Estación hosted the work last Saturday, with competitors from all around Spain taking part.

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Friday, August 8, 2014

F E W E R SPAIN’S TOP DIRTY TABARCA H AW K E RS

Over one and a half thousand tonnes of rubbish were removed from Tabarca island last year, nearly all of it dumped there by tourists. The island, off Santa Pola, has young volunteers from 'Tabarca Ambiental' coming during the summer months to clear up the mess, and 2013 saw 1,600 plastic and over 600 glass bottles discarded by visitors who showed no concern for the environment. The clean­up operation may well be extended into September and October by the volunteers.

PLUG PULLED

The organiser of the first ever Campoamor Music Festival was left to count the cost last Wednesday night, as Orihuela Council refused to give permission for the event to go ahead on safety grounds. The authorities made their decision last Friday(August 1st), yet the organisers via their website and social media said that the event had not been cancelled, with six thousand tickets having been sold in advance. A last minute meeting on Wednesday with council and emergency planning officers, repeated the reasons for why the event was stopped including major safety concerns from the emer­ gency services, including the risk of fire in adjoining wood­ land to the La Glea site and the lack of a proper emergency plan.

Organiser, Ángel Monteagudo, has complained about the loss of money and his reputation in putting the alcohol­free event together, and he’s told the local media that he is con­ sidering taking legal action against the council because he got just five days’ notice that the authority was unhappy,after he had made the application back in April. The event was seen as a controlled alternative to the illegal drinking and music party that attracted over 20 thousand people at the start of August last year. The 12 hour event would have run from 8.00pm on the Wednesday evening a short distance from La Glea beach, with a variety of Spanish bands and DJ's providing the entertainment. As some of the acts were making their final sound­checks, the event was formally can­ celled, with local police and the Guardia Civil at the site all day turning away music fans who were not aware of what had been going on behind the scenes.

ILLEGALS STOPPED Eleven illegal immigrants were caught trying to get into Spain in a tiny boat off the Santa Pola coast in the early hours of Wednesday morning. A fishing boat alerted authori­ ties who via the Guardia Civil maritime team intercepted the five metre long craft with eleven Algerian men mostly aged between 25 and 35. They were taken to Alicante where they were treated by the Red Cross before being handed over to the National Police.

NO PLEASURE

A canoeist was rushed to hospital with serious head injuries after his craft was hit by a pleasure boat in waters off San Pedro del Pinatar. The drama unfolded last Sunday morning with the man, in his forties, being taken to the Los Arcos hospital, after the incident which happened at around 10.00am.

Torrevieja’s police chief, Vicente Gutierrez, says that illegal street vendors are nowhere near as big a problem as they were last summer. Gutierrez said that the majority of the hawkers had disappeared as a result of action last year, which included some violent clashes and arrests. A few are still taking a risk at the seafront by selling fake goods(pic­ tured), but some of them have been seized by the police, along with further arrest being made. He added that the less­ ening of the problem has meant that he has been able to divert officers to other areas that need looking at like traffic.

Over six million British adults are planning to retire abroad and most of them want to move to Spain, which is the UK’s top foreign retirement destination. New research reveals that Spain is still the most popular place for Brits to retire, with 26% opting for the country. In second place is France, with the United States in third. In total, over six million UK people are planning to retire abroad, with an even split between Europe and the rest of the world, according to the research by retirement income specialist MGM. Of the estimated 3.2 million UK adults planning to retire in Europe, Spain is the most popular destination with 26% of the vote. France fol­ lows in second place with 17% of votes. Italy comes in third place with a 10% popularity rating.

STINK TIP GANG OF FOOLS

Three bungling villains in Sevilla have been arrested after they mistook a woman for the person they were meant to kid­ nap, and then they decided to abduct and rob her anyway.

The woman was driving through Sevilla when the three sus­ pects got into her vehicle and put a balaclava over her head.

Moments after, she heard one of them cry out: “You’ve got the wrong registration plate, this isn’t the girl.”

Rather than flee the scene, the kidnappers forced the woman to drive them to her home. There they stole two of her mobile phones and 250 euros in cash before escaping in the woman’s car. The victim immediately contacted the National Police, who deployed a unit specializing in kidnappings and extortions to find the three men. Officers found them and recovered the stolen items in addition to breaking up a drug ring that they were running.

ON CALL To r r e v i e j a Hospital is using a new pioneering system to draft extra doctors in if the emergency department gets busy. An automat­ ic SMS text mes­ saging network triggered by com­ puter will send alerts to medics to get in to boost numbers if needed. Area health chief, Juan Carlos Medina, says that messages have already been sent out a number of times in July, especially at the weekends.

SMELLS FISHY

Early morning thieves, equipped with fishing rods, are back again to see what they can steal from local homes.

That’s the warning from the Orihuela Costa Neighbourhood Watch , who have got reports of the “fishermen” striking again, normally between 4.00 and 7.00am. The crooks look for open or partially open windows and by using a rod with a net attached, they try to snatch property, including keys, which allows them access to the building and to any cars.

The Watch are recommending simple precautions to stop any pilfering, like making sure all the windows are closed, and that small items like keys are kept well out of sight. If anything suspicious is spotted, then the Police should be called immediately on 112, where the operators speak in Spanish, English, German, and a variety of Scandinavian languages

Residents close to a huge rubbish dump near to Las Ramblas on the Orihuela Costa, have formally demanded that the Valencian Environment department investigate the kinds of gases that are coming from it, and the health prob­ lems that they claim it may be causing. As reported previous­ ly in The Courier, the 20 metre high tip is in the Pilar de la Horadada council area on the edge of the Sierra Escalona park, and was used as an unofficial rubbish dump for many years. Now people in the10 local urbanisations affected by the methane stench have called for action, and have met with political representatives to get some kind of action taken over the site. Compromis Party MP from the Valencian Parliament, Juan Ponce, visited the site last week and agreed that urgent action was need to clear up the site and to counter any health issues that may have been caused by the dump.

POWER PROBLEMS

Power cuts affected events in the Torrevieja area on Saturday night, with outages causing problems between 10.30pm and 1.30am, with major disruption to bars and restaurants on one of the busiest tourist nights of the year.

The area of La Mata was badly hit, with the choir festival(pic­ tured) being disrupted until the organisers brought a stand­by generator on line.

Friday, August 8, 2014

YOU CAN SLICE IT!

Chefs in a North Spanish city are waiting to hear if their giant tortilla has made it into the Guinness Book of Records. Served up last Saturday, the potato tortilla measured five metres in diameter and weighed 1.5 tonnes, having been made by the team from Vitoria (Álava province) using 1.6 tonnes of potatoes, 30 onions, 15 handfuls of salt and

150 litres of olive oil. A giant screen with air­ waves was set up to monitor temperature and cooking time. Once chopped up into sin­ gle portions, there was enough to feed 10,000 people. It will take several months before the restaurateurs who made the pota­ to omelette know whether their creation has been certified as the largest in the world.

BOARDWALK EMPIRE Unlicensed street hawkers have got market­stall owners in the Lo Pagan area of San Pedro del Pinatar up in arms about their illegal activities.They are angry that the clandestine vendors on the Villananitos boardwalk during the evening are taking away vital trade from the summer tourists. Legal sellers have complained to the council who in turn have said that local police patrols are keeping an eye out on the situation.

CALL FOR PEACE Over 50 people attended a prayer vigil last Friday evening to pray for peace and to support the people affected by the recent vio­ lence in Gaza in the Middle East. The event in San Miguel's church square, was organised by the town's Arcángel Residents Association.

ELCHE’S BIG NIGHT The Night of the Dawn, or as often described in the Valencian language as Nit de l’Alba, will once again light up Elche’s skies this Wednesday night, as a new day is about to start. The annual attraction, which has now got been declared officially by the Valencian Government as a major tourist event to boost international recognition for the area, celebrates the Assumption of the Virgin Mary, and dates back to the Middle Ages. As tradition dic­ tates, all power in the city cen­ tre will be cut just before mid­ night on Wednesday night, with three thousand rockets launched from the bell tower of the Santa Maria Basilica at

the stroke of twelve, a number of which will explode creating a palm tree shape.

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Friday, August 8, 2014

editor@thecourier.es COURIER POSTBAG: YOUR VIEWS ON OUR NEWS

Two angles on a fishy tale in the park My daughter and son­in­law took our young granddaughter to Guardamar Park on Saturday.

It is a visit they frequently make because our granddaughter loves the wild life in the park. But to their horror, when they got to the ponds, hundreds of fish were fighting for their lives and many more dead because of the lack of water in the pond.

Yes, I know it is very hot and the water is evaporating but someone must be responsible for looking after the ponds in the park. Our daughter said it was a dreadful sight. Can you do anything to estab­ lish what can be done to help these poor fish?

VAL JONES

Having been a sports journalist and author spanning over 30 years, I too have witnessed how the game has changed over time.

We used to interview players freely ­ now the players are 'gagged' at certain football clubs. I know of players who have broken protocol and given interviews to the Press, only to be hit with a fine by the club.

Talk about living in a coun­ try with free speech. More like a kick in the pants than I JUST read Donna Gee’s kicking a football. article on her sleepless Former England manager nights!

Steve McClaren once Donna, no way should refused me an interview you be sleeping 40 hours while he was in charge at of a weekend unless you Middlesbrough. are pie eyed!

"I don't do interviews in Are you sure that you pre­season," he told me. are not totally dehydrat­ Don't do interviews in pre­ ed? My wife is now on season? What a Wally ­ no dehydration medica­ wonder they labelled him tion from the Farmacia. 'Wally with the Brolly' during It’s great and it works. his England tenure!

It’s called SUERORAL It is ironic that on the same HIPOSODICO an it’s day, ex­England and about €3 a packet.

Middlesbrough star Gareth You need to drink a litre Southgate refused an inter­ per day for the whole view: course.

"You will have to ask the TED GILLELAND, Quesada

Is this why Donna is so weary?

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Donna says: Thanks for that, Ted but I drink lots of tea and doubt I’m dehydrated.

Maybe I just need to stop eyeing those pies!

LETTERS AND EMAILS WILL ONLY BE CONSIDERED FOR PUBLICATION IF A CONTACT NUMBER AND/OR ADDRESS ARE PROVIDED

ON receiving Val’s email, The Courier immediately asked Guardamar Town Hall to investigate her concerns. They acted rapidly ­ within 24 hours we received the following detailed response from their European resident co­ordinator Phil Hughes.

ON behalf of Guardamar Town Hall, I went to Reina Sofía park on Tuesday morning to see for myself.

The pond is full and clean, there are fish and turtles alive and swimming. All is normal.

I have spoken to the person who cares for the park and ponds on a full­time basis. Twice a week he starts work at 4am to keep on top of the summer work­ load.

He assured me that there were no dead fish on Monday morning and no reports were received of any ‘incident’ over the weekend.

However, he tells me they change the water twice a year to avoid unhealthy and stagnant water. This often happens at this time of the year due to over­feeding by visitors contaminating the water and depriving it of oxygen.

This reference may be retrieved from Wikipedia: "Carp are able to tolerate water with very low oxygen levels, by gulping air at the surface".

The water was changed yesterday (Tuesday) for this very reason.

Also, it is a normal process to have algae and water plant growth in ponds, and the carp that are in there are constantly breeding.

A large population is not sustainable in a pond with a maximum depth of just WALLY: 50cm.

Steve When the water is McClaren changed, it is possible that FURY: Kevin Keegan some of the smaller fish die and eggs are removed, gaffer' if I can talk to you", tives about an article on him have been accredited with a for the previously cited that wasn't meant to reach Press Pass? said the now TV pundit. reasons.

I also recall a post­match Scotland!

I could talk at dinners Wildlife needs an equilib­ Press Conference at The said player ­ a former about my time in sports jour­ rium, and having tended Manchester City ­ when the Celtic prodigy ­ was playing nalism. the park during the last 20 then Blues boss blew his top in England at the time.

No doubt John McGregor years, the person respon­ at me! Kevin Keegan, anoth­ With John McGregor's has a few 'tales' to tell too! sible knows exactly what er failed England chief, 'spat decision to kick into touch I reported on snooker for needs to be done to main­ his dummy out of the pram' support for Elche it beggars over 20 years and met and tain the balance of nature. big time, when questioned belief what he has had to interviewed Alex Higgins, Guardamar del Segura is about a game against cope with over the seasons. Steve Davis, Jimmy White, not just famous for its Preston North End. Especially when he has et al. beaches but also for its He even went as far as had to stump up extra cash And one interview that wildlife and nature which asking which paper I worked for games ­ despite being a sticks out was with Ronnie can be seen by the parks at ­ and said he wouldn't be season ticket holder!

O'Sullivan, who told me: "I'd and pine forests that still reading it, or words to that The question beckons as rather be potting plants, than envelop the town. effect. I still have the inter­ to why did he pay for a sea­ balls!" On that note I'm PHIL HUGHES view tape. son ticket in the first place ­ off...I've a few plants to pot European resident co­ I've also been on the end when he was a journalist up in the garden. ordinator, of a phone call from an irate reporting on Elche FC ANDREW ATKINSON, Ayuntamiento Los Montesinos football star who used exple­ games. Surely he should de Guardamar del Segura

BROLLY WALLY AND THE FOLLY OF LOLLY JOHN McGregor's decision to stop supporting Elche FC this season is an own goal ­ on behalf of the authorities who run the game in Spain.

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Friday, August 8, 2014

THERE'S no arguing with the Spanish way of life. I can think of nothing nicer than relaxing with my family on a balmy Costa evening over an al fresco beachside meal.

A MIDGE-SUMMER NIGHT’S SCREAM

That’s why I took my daughter and two grandsons to La Mata on Saturday for dinner and, in the boys’ case, a game of beach football. But not necessarily in that order.

When we arrived at 7pm, the plaza was buzzing with market stalls, kiddies' rides and a couple of faceless technicians rigging up the set for some sort of concert later in the evening.

Around 500 white chairs, neatly arranged in rows of 25, pleaded plasticly for an audience ­ as did an empty stage armed with a dozen All light on the microphones. night ­ but min­ My visitors despatched for utes later, La a post­meal tour of the stalls Mata was hit by and sights, I flopped into one a power cut of the 480 remaining empty seats, exhausted by the effort of trudging 100 metres back to the plaza after paying the restaurant bill.

By 8.30pm, barely 25 of those white chairs were occupied.

“What's going on?’’ a pass­ ing woman asked me in Spanish, nodding in the direction of the stage.

"I've no idea. Some sort of concert, I guess.''

"When does it start?'' the relaxed atmosphere, not "Sorry, I don't know.''

Neither, I suspect, did 95 complimentary booze).

How different from such per cent of the free spirits roaming around the plaza. gatherings back home, (No, mate, I'm talking about where a volatile mixture of

Facing the music on a swarm evening in La Mata

Having a ball: Grandson Solly, 8, and new friend

alcohol and idiots are almost as likely to ruin the day as the predictably inclement British weather.

By 9.30pm, a quarter of the chairs were being warmed in the fading light by mature backsides. And when the 10pm church­clock cacophony attacked my eardrums, there were more occupied seats than empty ones.

Music time was actually approaching, even though the throng of Spaniards around us seemed to be as much in the dark as we were.

Suddenly a row of theatre lights above the stage blazed into action, instantly attract­ ing every flying insect from La Mata to the Mar Menor.

Now the place was literally buzzing...but where were the performers? Perhaps the mozzies were going to enter­ tain us, I mused.

Yes, that was it. We were about to be treated to an insect­ious medley of mos­ quito music.

The Gig­a­Bite Road Show would open with a Fleasy Listening overture.

Then Midge Pure and the Winger Singers would per­ form a special version of Stinging in the Rain to remind British holidaymakers of the weather they were missing.

Stung back to reality, it was approaching 10.30pm and the plaza was packed.

Not surprisingly, Midge

and his little fellas never did get to blast us with ‘60s clas­ sics like Bobby Bee’s The Night Has A Thousand Flies.

But it must have been nearly 11pm before the concert finally got under way.

The music was nice, the voices of the mixed choir pleasant...and the setting idyllic for creaking wrinklies like me who made up most of the audience.

But traditional Spanish music is no substitute for a dance with Gene Kelly or even Bobby Vee chucking a Rubber Ball at me.

Since my grandsons would rather be kicking footballs anyway, I'm ashamed to say that Donna's entourage slipped away from the con­

cert prematurely, leaving a burgeoning crowd of late­ comers to battle for our vacant chairs.

Three minutes later, as we neared our car, the fading choral accompaniment from the plaza suddenly seemed to disappear along with our eyesight.

A massive power cut had plunged La Mata into dark­ ness. and I have no idea when the power came back on.

I just hope local golden oldies did not have to pick their way home in pitch dark­ ness through a plethora of predictably perilous pave­ ment potholes.

That’s not easy­peasy, believe me.

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Friday, August 8, 2014

Friday, August 8, 2014

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Friday, August 8, 2014

BLAME IT ON THE BOGEY

'I MUST be the only adult in the Northern Hemisphere who has to go to sleep with the bedroom light on,' I observed to my pub mates the other evening.

If I'd hoped that my com­ ment would prompt a reac­ tion among my fellow mem­ bers of the hostelry discus­ sion group, I was mistaken.

Nobody took a blind bit of notice. They just chattered on inanely amongst them­ selves, seemingly oblivious of my presence. So I changed tack, cleared my throat and announced: 'I must be the only adult IN THIS PUB who has to go to sleep with the bedroom light on.'

That did it. There was immediate silence as my inn mates stared at me, waiting for me to continue. The trou­ ble with going to the pub every day is that folk become insular. Mention the northern hemisphere and it means nothing. Refer to the hostelry and it's a different story.

'It's your round, dreary Dave Silver,' said Fearful Phil. 'Why do you think that is?' I replied. 'Because,' said Fearful Phil, 'None of us have got any money and Dave the barman looks like he's about to throw us out if somebody doesn't put their hand in their pocket and pro­ duce some shrapnel.'

'No, I didn't mean that,' I said. 'Why do you think I have to go to sleep with the bedroom light on?'

'Is it something to do with the bogey­ man?' asked Indoor Lou. 'When I was a toddler I thought there was a monster hiding in the wardrobe. But unlike you, dull Dave Silver, I grew out of that childhood phase.

So Isn't it about time you came out of the closet and admitted your fear?'

'But I'm not in the closet,' I argued.

Indoor Lou laughed.

'Only because you think the bogeyman's in there.'

Sulking strongly, I picked up my three bulging carrier bags and prepared to leave the pub. 'What have you got there?' asked Daft Barry.

'Library books,' I replied.

'Why so many?' asked Dave the barman.' It's a long story,' I sighed.

I arrived home and with aching arms hauled the car­ rier bags upstairs. 'Did you manage to make the library?' asked Mrs S, tucked up in bed with a pile of Reader's

Digests. 'No, luv,' I respond­ ed, dumping the bags on the duvet. What you see is Tesco's complete stock of King Edwards. I heard there might be a potato famine.'

'No need for sarcasm,' tut­ ted Mrs S. 'Did you get me any good books?' 'Yes, luv,' I said. 'I think you've already read 23 of them but it's so hard to choose new ones at the rate you get through them. Incidentally, the 24th volume is a compendium of

short stories.'

'But I've no time to read short stories,' said Mrs S. I raised my eyes to Heaven but the God of Logic was not at home.

I climbed into bed exhausted, then climbed out again, got undressed, put on my jim­jams, and climbed back into bed again. I'd for­ gotten to brush my teeth but this paragraph is getting too boring for me to be constant­ ly climbing in and out of bed.

I settled into my sleeping position and shut my eyes against the blazing light emit­ ted by the strong bulb blazing merrily away in the centre of the ceiling.

'Your face is all screwed up,' Mrs S pointed out. 'I keep telling you. to dig into your moth­eaten wal­ let and buy me a bedside lamp. You'll be less disturbed by the dimmer light although I suspect that being less dis­ turbed would take a

strong effort in your case.'

'It's not as easy as that,' I said, nervously squinting at the closed wardrobe door. 'I have to have bright light in this room otherwise . . . well, you just never know. There might be an intruder hiding somewhere, maybe a hob­ goblin with supernatural powers . . . ' 'Not the bogeyman again!' cried Mrs S. 'You know something, husband, if I'd have known that there would be three people in this mar­ riage, I really wouldn't have bothered.'

'Aha!' I cried triumphantly.

'So you acknowledge that the bogeyman DOES exist.'

Our pillow talk quickly plunged downhill into a fully­ fledged noisy argument. And then the telephone rang. 'Er, no,' I answered the caller. 'I am not interested in double glazing.'

'I don't believe it,' declared Mrs S as she kissed me goodnight. 'Cold callers at this time of night.'

'It wasn't a double glazing firm,' I mumbled. 'It was the neighbours.'

Friday, August 8, 2014

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Friday, August 8, 2014

YOUR FAITHFUL LOYAL FRIEND Spain is full of abandoned dog’s right now. Dogs that have been cast aside by their owners who have started a new life somewhere else without their faithful friend.

This attitude by some humans is sickening. Dogs have feelings just like us and to just dump them some­ where and go, is something I find absolutely repulsive.

Just watch a waiting dog out­ side a shop. They sit and wait with so much enthusi­ asm for their owner to return.

That is how much a dog loves you. You just walking out of a shop and reuniting with your dog is something that makes their tails wag with delight. The reason is simple. You are their every­ thing. You are what they live and breathe for. You com­ plete them. It is loyalty at work in the most intense

fashion you will ever experi­ Capitan the dog, for his son ence. On that note, here are Damian. One year later some true stories from Miguel died and Capitan around the world, on just went missing. After a week, how loyal your faithful friend the family found Capitan at is. the grave howling. He had In Italy, Ciccio the dog found the grave all on his would accompany his owner, Maria, to church every day when the bells tolled.

When his owner died, Ciccio was devastat­ ed and followed the coffin into the church on the day of the funeral. Since that day he has attended church for the daily service and the parishioners feed and give him water. The priest lets him sit in front of the altar for each mass.

In 2005, Miguel Guzman bought John Tumilson and Hawkeye

own. Damian has tried to take Capitan home, but each time Capitan returns to the grave. They now accept this and know that Capitan is there, lying next to his own­ ers grave, looking after him.

In 2011, American soldier, Jon Tumilson died in a helicopter crash. His faithful dog, Hawkeye, a chocolate Labrador, lay next to his owner’s casket, as 1,500 mourners paid their respects. They were all moved at this amazing show of loy­ alty. Hawkeye was unwilling to move away from his owner’s coffin.

Again in 2011, Kirby a little black puppy went missing from his home. Kirby

week, month after month.

Dog’s show us love, empa­ thy and devotion twenty four hours a day, every day. This should never be taken for granted. It should be valued and appreciated for what it is ­ the most amazing love we will ever receive in our lives.

The problem is some humans are just too busy in their lives to actually realize what is going on right in front was found sitting by his of them. Because if you want owner’s grave, having to witness the most amazing walked miles to locate it. loyalty you will ever see in After the earthquake in your lives, it is right in front of Japan in 2011, the media you in the form of a wet nose, filmed a dog, covered in two big eyes and two big mud. They then noticed he fluffy ears. was next to another dog, www.thedogyouneed.com which was hardly moving. is a registered charity, where He waited, sometimes pac­ we rehabilitate the most ing around the body of his severely abused animals. friend. He would not leave Our charity registration num­ this dog and stayed by his ber is 1157175. If you would side until help arrived and be kind enough to donate they were finally rescued anything to this special and taken to an animal hos­ cause you can do by Paypal, pital. where the account details In America in 2010, Spot a r e the dog, would wait at the peter@thedogyouneed.com same street corner for his or to our Nat West charity owner, Wayne Giroux, after account, where the sort code he finished work. Sadly, is 60­16­03 and the account Wayne was killed by a drink number is 73754900. Even driver and Spot waited at the one Euro will help, so please, same street corner every please, try and support us. day for his owner to return, Thank you from the bottom of day after day, week after our hearts.

PETS’ CORNER: CAN YOU TAKE IN A HOMELESS DOG OR CAT? CURLY SUE is about 1 year old very placid and affectio­ nate. She is good with other dogs and children, loves sit­ ting on your lap and snug­ gling up to you. Please con­ tact K9 or PHONE 600 84 54 20 for more info www.k9club.es

Angelina is 3 months old was found last week on a motorway, it’s possible she had been thrown from a car and was very frightened.

She has seen a vet and is in good health and recovering from her ordeal in a foster home. Call: 645 469 253. www.petsinspain.com

TOMY is a cute Yorkie, approx 6 years old who arri­ ved in a terrible state. He is now well on the way to a full recovery and to help this continue, he would like a home of his very own! He gets on well with other dogs and cats, is not dominant and walks well on a lead.

PLEASE CALL LINDA ON 965725794 OR VISIT OUR WEBSITE: www.animalaid­ costablanca.org

13 week old girls, Lulu and Chocolate. Both are happy girls but would be happier still in a home of their own We have lots of puppies in at the moment in all shapes and sizes, People are wel­ come to come and have a look at them. You can see our dogs by finding us on facebook “Paradise Kennels” or call 619 938 955

being well socialised.

Please call 650 304 746 or email p.e.p.a.animalcha­ rity@gmail.com

Angelina Binky is a small mixed breed puppy he is a lovely bright very happy, loving little boy.

You only have to show him something once and then he knows the routine. He is and ready to go to a home of his own. For more informa­ tion about Binky please ring the PEPA helpline on 650 304 746 or Email: p.e.p.a.animalcharity@gmai l.com

Tomy Born in March 2012, Ellie is a lovely little cat with a sweet and gentle nature.

She is one of many cats res­ cued by APAH as kittens, who are still waiting for their first loving home. To arran­ ge to meet Ellie, please call 630 422 563 or 616 210 850.

Baby is a 15 week old tabby and white kitten. She is a very trusting with people, loves to be cuddled and gets on well with other kittens and adult cats. Call: 645 469 253. www.petsinspain.com

Baby

Chick

Binky

Ellie

Born in Jan 2013, brothers Kingsley and Tyler were found running around the lanes near the APAH ken­ nels as small puppies; dan­ gerously thin and very frigh­ tened. They are healthy, confident dogs now and are looking for their first loving home. Please call 630 422 563 or 616 210 850.

Merlin

Curly Sue CHICK is the last of eight puppies, born at the ken­ nels, who is looking to find her forever home. The mother had been brought into us heavily pregnant and 4 days later gave birth to her babies. Chick is now 5 months old and a gorgeous, healthy and playful youngs­ ter; she is fully vaccinated and micro chipped and the­ refore ready for a new family. SAT KENNELS

large when fully grown.

Merlin loves to snuggle and have cuddles. He is ready to go to a new home. He is being fostered in a home with lots of other dogs so is

Merlin is a beautiful boy that was found dumped along with his three siblings he is a German Braco and will be

Tyler

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Friday, August 8, 2014

PURRY FRIENDS, AT ARM’S LENGTH!

We recently got a new addition to our house­ hold, or should I say a few additions! We´ve been living in our new house for nearly a year now and in that time we´ve settled in, made the place homely, with a few additions and acces­ sories, and a few extra pets to teach my son more weeks, until one day there she was again, but a lot thin­ respect for all living things. ner and obviously feeding babies. She was very friendly and Various surveys have shown that children benefit from caring for animals and it also helps to build their immune sys­ tems, pretty much the same way that it was built by those of us old enough to remember the days when we played out­ side, wiping muddy hands all over our faces and playing in dirty streams. These days, kids are molly cod­ dled to such an extent that their immune sys­ tems are as fresh as the day they were born, which of course means they are open to more infections and problems in later life, but let’s return to our new acquisitions that came to live with us a few week ago.

Two months ago, I was in the classroom, which happens to be in my garage, when I heard a noise there. I went out and looked around but there was nothing there, and so I went back in the classroom and continued preparations when, once again I heard some­ one or something outside. I returned to the garage once again and noticed a very fat cat hiding in between some boxes. As I approached I noticed that she wasn´t fat but pregnant, however I had our pet mouse in the garage and so didn´t want to disturb him! I put the cat out into the street with a bowl of milk, and that was the last I saw of her for a few

not at all scared so I gave her more milk and some meat, and thinking that she wouldn´t be back any time soon she went off. But she stayed in the area! Every day I would see her thin, skeletal frame walking around until one day she

appeared with company:­ first one little kitten showed up, then another until finally there were four little balls of fluff rolling around outside my front door.

Of course my son decided that he would be the main carer of these fragile, little animals. He took it upon himself to play with them, feed them and give them milk. They were all a bit nervous at first but one of them, the smallest, was a bit slow­ er than the others and was easy for my boy to hold and he has since spent many happy hours playing with her, hugging her and learning how to treat them. He still has his moments with the others, when he can´t get them he gets upset and at first when little Blankie as he´s been named was allowed to leave the house for a while, my son would get annoyed and sad until he realised that his new friend would soon be back.

So we now have five new family members, although they live outside and only come in when we are here, I´ve decided that although I am happy to care for them I don´t want them living inside. Animals are meant to be free and although I have some animals here they wouldn´t survive in the wild, the cats can and will. I´ll help them as much as I can but they will be outdoor cats and not make a home here.

Someone once asked me how I can care for animals when there are children in this country without food or shelter? My answer remains the same, who says I don´t help chil­ dren as well as animals? Why does there have to be a choice? As Abraham Lincoln is quoted as saying “I am in favour of animal rights as well as human rights. That is the way of a whole human being.”

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Friday, August 8, 2014

TWO PEAS IN A POD

on the verge of going bust.

That’s how bad it was and look now where Britain is in the second half of 2014.

Unemployment tumbling to pre­Gordon Brown levels; inflation under control; per­ sonal tax allowances way up (thanks to the Lib Dems) and an IMF report suggesting that the UK growth levels will be the best in Europe (trump­ Both have to face the vot­ ing the Germans) over the ers in 2015 and both have next few years. It’s one heck uncertain futures, which is of a story, and people may somewhat unfair considering hate George Osborne, the tough calls they have had but you have to give to make. David Cameron, him massive credit for and his deputy Nick Clegg, holding his nerve and should be widely applauded sticking to his poli­ for what they did getting cies. So why are together in 2010, and achiev­ Labour still leading in opinion ing something that is akin to the an economic miracle. If I was involved in the 2015 Tory and Lib Dem campaigns, I’d be reminding everybody about the massive mess that Gordon Brown had got Britain into, with unemployment run­ ning up under his watch, polls, albeit by just two to along with gross overspend­ three points?

Many voters have short ing, and the country teetering

There’s a lot that links David Cameron and Mariano Rajoy, with both men fighting economic recession and both having achieved positive results in that battle, Cameron with the more dramatic indica­ tors.

memories, but also econom­ ic improvements take time to filter through. People have had four years of little or no wage rises, coupled with increased bills, especially in the energy sector, and so there is no feel­good factor.

David Cameron must be wishing that he could have a Tardis machine and transport everybody back to 2010 so that they could

see what it would have been like with a Gordon Brown vic­ tory. Bail out and serious austerity come to mind, but if it has not happened, then you can’t relate to it, and you think that nice Ed Miliband and his Labour friends deserve a chance, despite them creating the mire in the first place. It does leave you scratching your head some­

what, but I think that an elec­ tion campaign will expose Labour’s soft­underbelly along with a much needed history lesson for the British electorate.

In Spain, Mariano Rajoy and the PP have been vilified by the opposition for their actions, but what was the alternative after Zapatero’s PSOE put Spain on the rocks? Recovery is now here and Rajoy was bullish in a r e c e n t news con­ ference upgrad­ i n g growth forecasts,

with the big vote set for next year. The public,

like the UK, are giving the PP little credit for having to get their hands dirty, but I sug­ gest that Rajoy may face greater hurdles than David Cameron in getting re­elect­ ed. The Barcenas corruption affair is still lurking around which could hit Rajoy again at anytime. The PSOE have a youthful new leader in Pedro Sanchez that makes Rajoy look like an old bum­ bler, and there are still ele­ ments in the PP that would like to dump the uncharis­ matic Rajoy in order to get that election win next year.

It’ll be tough for Rajoy to sell a good story, whilst mass unemployment lingers, something that Cameron does not have a problem with. But with so many small left of centre parties in Spain fragmenting the anti­ PP vote, unless good­look­ ing Pedro gets those vot­ ers back into the PSOE fold, Rajoy may well pull off a win that a couple of years ago might have seemed very much in the balance.

REGISTERING YOUR VEHICLE IN SPAIN. SPANISH LICENSE PLATES AND REGISTRATION DOCUMENT. Registering a non­Spanish vehicle in Spain is a complex and potentially costly procedure.

However, you may be exempt from Spanish registration tax by getting Spanish number plates within one month of entering the country. But to do this, you need to become a res­ ident. Linea Directa has been insuring expat drivers in Spain for over a decade and under­ stands all the steps involved. Below we outline this process.

STEP 1: OBTAINING A CERTIFICATE OF CONFORMITY This is a statement by the car’s manufacturer that it conforms to EU regulations. You will need the car’s chassis number to complete this straightforward process online at www.eurococ.eu/en/certificate_of_conformity. The charges for this service will vary according to type of vehicle, make and country of 1st registration.

STEP 2: CURRENT LOG BOOK The vehicle’s original log book showing your name as the owner, the vehicles age and a valid UK address. You will also need the bill of sale for the car.

STEP 3: RESIDENCY IN SPAIN The Spanish residency certificate (Certificado de Empadronamiento) is your official proof of residency in Spain. Your local town hall can provide you with this document. You will need to take your passport and proof of Spanish address (rental contract, contract to pur­ chase or property deeds).

STEP 4: OBTAINING A SPANISH MOT CERTIFICATE All vehicles over 4 years old must be roadworthy and clearly display a valid ITV sticker.

The ITV (Vehicle Technical Inspection) must be tested at an authorised centre, just as for an MOT test. You can find out the location of your nearest ITV centre on DGT website (equivalent to the DVLA). You can also call your local centre to make a booking. If the cen­ tre is busy, especially pre­summer, this can save a lot of time. The cost can vary but gen­ erally is around 40€ for petrol­engine cars and 56€ for diesel­engine cars.

Step 5: OBTAINING A SPANISH EQUIVALENT OF A TAX DISC The Spanish Tax Agency can provide your vehicle with a valid “tax disc” for Spain, which must be carried in the car when in use. You will need to complete the relevant form online and pay the amount according to your car’s tax band.

You can carry out all these procedures yourself or you can seek the assistance of an accountant to do this for you.

We hope the information provided in this article is of interest.

If you would like to contact Linea Directa please call 902­123­161 More information on Linea Directa online at www.lineadirecta.com

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Friday, August 8, 2014

COME CLEAN OR GET OUT!

There are basic prin­ ciples you expect from councillors , which is to be honest and to abide by the local gov­ ernment rules, one of which is to pay council tax.

There are two councillors in Bolton who between them owed £4,500 in council tax.

One is a Tory, the other Labour. Question: Should the voters know who they are? I think so, but a judge thinks not ­ because releasing their identity would cause them distress and infringe on their (yes, wait for it) human rights. Oh yes ­ how many "ordinary" people are brought before courts for failing to pay their council tax, TV licence fees, and all the other wonderful charges that soci­ ety inflicts on modern day existence? These people have their identities revealed, so why not these two council­ lors? One law for those with influence, and another law for the rest, methinks. They both made "arrangements" with the council to pay off their arrears, which extended over two years. Yes, people do get into financial difficul­ ties and yes, there should be time for people, in those cir­ cumstances, to pay up. And provided it’s all on a level playing field, then fair enough. But if I was a coun­ cillor in Bolton, I would not be very happy with this current a n o n y m i t y, because t h e

public would, perhaps right­ ly, be pointing the finger at me and wondering if I was one of the guilty ones. If you hold public office, then every part of your life should be transparent, and, if a person is incapable of running his own financial affairs proper­ ly, is he a fit and proper per­ son to have control of oth­ ers? And if you are an MP or a councillor, and don´t want to live a transparent life, then get the hell out of what you are doing.

As we all know, there is so much hatred, distrust and killing in so many countries in the Muslim world. There are conflicts on so many lev­ els, between Sunnis and Shias ­ both Muslims but with different interpretations; between rich and poor; between believers, non­believers and extremists, the areas of conflict and divisions grow ever wider. Then, of course, there are conflicts between Muslims and people

of other religions. Much of this conflict comes down to one root cause ­ intolerance.

And that intolerance is shown at its absurd worst when you have the sort of people like the clown deputy prime minister of Turkey, Bulent Arinc. What did this buffoon have to say? That women should not laugh in public! He was speaking about moral corruptions in Turkey. “Chastity is impor­ tant and women should not laugh in public”, he said. The result is that women across Turkey have posted photos of themselves on social media sites ­ 300,000 of them and rising. And guess what they are doing ­ yes, a terrible moral crime in the eyes of weirdos ­ laughing!

Good for them, two fin­ gers up at the prats. Of course moral values are still, and always will be, important, society without val­ ues is not worth living in. However, the western world went through the liberation of women era more

than a century ago. The Muslim world is now going through it. Too many Muslim men are still trying to exert their authority over women, with two examples being the expectation of women cov­ ering themselves up in pub­ lic and to walk a few steps behind men. My advice is to give it up, because you´re living in the past. And, at the same time, accept there is no "right" and "wrong" reli­ gion. Once people accept that everyone is equal, so many conflicts will end.

Listening to UK Government hype last week, you would believe that Cameron and Co were at last having a major crack­ down on welfare payments to migrants. But the reality is that their plan to limit access to jobseekers allowance from six to three months is just the tip of a huge ice­ berg, reducing the benefits bill by a mere £100million a year. There´s £5billion a year which could be saved if there was an end to the craziness of providing 415,000 foreign nationals with tax credits, or what I call Britain´s pot of gold fund.

Tax credits top up the wages of the lower paid and have a particularly startling impact on the income of those on the minimum w a g e .

T h e benefit crazi­ n e s s means a migrant with no

dependents earning the minimum wage has their net income of around £184 a week boosted to £254 by tax credits and housing benefit.

If the migrant has a partner and two children, the net weekly income rockets from £184 to £543, and the dependents don´t have to be in the UK, if they have the dependents, the generous Brits will send the cash out.

Compared to back home, a family from Romania or Bulgaria could multiply their take­home pay by a factor of eight.

An example of the gen­ erosity of the system is that of the Toma family, originally from Romania.

The family of 17 is collect­ ing around £55,200 a year in state benefits – on top of the father’s £21,600 wage, giv­ ing them a total annual income of £76,800 a year.

The couple would then have to have a pre­tax income of £125,000 a year to maintain the same standard of living for their huge family.

Working and child tax credits were introduced by Gordon Brown (thanks a bunch, Labour) and are now proving to be a huge mill­ stone around the neck of Britain, contributing to the country´s debt, which is still rising at an astronomical rate. The welfare state (i.e. benefits) was supposed to be a safety net, not to be relied upon (or abused) like this. These benefits should be phased out, not just for migrants but for everyone, so that people stand on their own feet. Only pensions (which people have con­ tributed into), help for the genuinely sick and the unemployable and short­ term help for job seekers should be paid. No wonder that UKIP has such appeal in Britain.

People are so vain ­ the craze of taking selfies (pic­ tures of themselves) is just the latest example.

But this vanity is having a serious side effect on cats.

People have discovered that taking pictures of them­ selves with their cat doesn´t work very well if the cat is black, because black cats don´t photograph so well as cats of different colours.

Animal welfare charities across the UK have found

increasing problems in rehoming black cats and kit­ tens, they´re being left behind, if there´s a choice of a tabby or ginger. The old superstition is that black cats bring good luck ­ but that idea has gone out of the win­ dow in the vanity stakes.

What a sad society we have become!

Now let's look at another aspect of vanity...and one which has the potential to be much more serious. I refer to the growing craze of young people making sex tapes of each other. New technology and smartphones open up all sorts of opportunities for the sexual exhibitionist. A young woman who knows she looks good naked may believe it’s great to be filmed making love to a boyfriend. They may feel it is part of the great female emancipation, but a growing number live to regret it. Because there´s a growing trend of revenge porn ­ ex­ boyfriends taking revenge for being dumped, for example, and putting the film on the net for all to see. And, of course, it can work both ways ­ lads could become victims too. Young people doing stupid things and downloading their "sexca­ pades" on the internet should remember that nothing dies there ­ only reputations. The calamitous pop star and for­ mer judge on The X Factor, Tulisa Contostavlos, learned to her cost the dangers of being filmed in that way and being a victim of revenge porn. Vanity, stupidity, the craziness of youth, all mixed up with people not educated over the dangers that new technology can bring, lead to this abuse which can, and does, take people to despair and even suicide.

Ask foreigners who they recognise as British and the results are amazing. In a world­wide poll, obviously, many named the Queen and David Beckham as truly British. Others chose J K Rowling, William Shakespeare and pop singer Adele. But guess who came in sixth place in the league table of best­known Brits. No, not sexy actors like Sean Connery or Roger Moore, Katherine Jenkins or Cheryl Cole(or whatever surname she is using this week), BUT the bungling Mr Bean (i.e Rowan Atkinson)!

Well, if that´s what foreign­ ers think of us (i.e. weird and stupid), the sooner we quit Europe, the better!

Friday, August 8, 2014

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Friday, August 8, 2014

SAY IT IN SPANISH Learn the lingo - with a little help from JEANETTE ERATH Spanish 134 We are continuing this week with the present subjunctive, an important and often used form of verb in Spanish but it is an advanced lesson, therefore if you are still at the basic or even pre intermediate level of learning Spanish I would recommend revising some of my previous lessons on www.thecourier.es.

Firstly I will go over the six verbs which are completely irregular in this tense: dar ­ to give: dé, des, dé, demos, deis, den: estar ­ to be: esté, estés, esté, este­ mos, estéis, estén: haber ­ to have (aux­ iliary verb): haya, hayas, haya, hayamos, hayáis, hayan: ir ­ to go: vaya, vayas, vaya, vayamos, vayáis, vaya:, saber ­ to know: sepa, sepas, sepa, sepamos, sepáis, sepan: ser ­ to be: sea, seas, sea, seamos, seáis, sean.

Remember the pronunciation is very important with some of these verbs so you need to practise writing them with the accents on the correct letter, for example este means east but esté is the present subjunctive first person singular of estar, (which of course means I am), maybe you´ve heard some of these words and wondered what they meant, now you know and can put them in the correct sentences.

So, let´s go back to when we need to use the subjunctive, it is when there is an element of doubt about the sentence or hope, desire or uncertainty. When something is not known we use the subjunctive, for exam­ ple we would use the present simple to say you have a pen­ cil – tienes un lápiz, but the subjunctive for I hope you have a nice day – espero que tengas un buen día.

First of all let´s look at some phrases that introduce the subjunctive: these are all all about desire: esperar que ­ to

wish that, insistir en que ­ to insist that, mandar que ­ to order that, preferir que ­ to prefer that, prohibir que ­ to prohibit that, querer que ­ to want that, es aconsejable que ­ it's advisable that, es necesario que ­ it's necessary that, pedir que ­ to ask that , recomendar que ­ to recom­ mend that, rogar que ­ to plead that, sugerir que ­ to sug­ gest that Of course there are also expressions that indicate the indicative mood as they introduce certainty to the sentence, here are some examples: creer que ­ to believe that , no

dudar que ­ to not doubt that , estar seguro que ­ to be sure that, estar seguro de que ­ to be certain that, no es dudoso que ­ it is not doubtful that, no hay duda que ­ there is no doubt that Here is a list of common expressions that introduce an aspect of ignorance or doubt to the sentence, and therefore trigger the use of the subjunctive: dudar que ­ to doubt that, es dudoso que ­ it is doubtful

that, es improbable que ­ it's unlikely that, es incierto que ­ it's uncertain that, es posible que ­ it's possible that, no creer que ­ not to believe that, no es cierto que ­ it's not certain that, no estar convencido de que ­ to not be con­ vinced that, no estar seguro de que ­ to not be sure that, no parecer que ­ to not seem that, no pensar que ­ to not think that , no suponer que, to not suppose that ­ puede ser que, it may be that ­ negar que ­ to deny that, no es verdad que ­ it's not true that, no es cierto que ­ it's not certain that, no imaginarse que ­ to not imagine that, temer que ­ to suspect that Here are some more expressions that use the indicative mood (i.e. not the sunbjunc­ tive): no dudo que ­ to not doubt that, no negar que ­ to not deny that, es verdad que ­ it's true that We use the subjunctive with the following because they introduce an element of uncer­ tainty or subjectivity: conviene que ­ it is advisable that, es aconsejable que ­ it is advisable that, es bueno que ­ it's good that, es fantástico que ­ it's fantastic that, es improbable que ­ it's unlikely that, es incierto que ­ it's uncertain that, es increíble que ­ it's incredible that, es (una) lástima que ­ it's a shame that, es malo que ­ it's bad that, es mejor que, it's better that, es necesario que ­ it's necessary that, es posible que ­ it's possible that, es preferi­ ble que ­ it's preferable that, es probable que ­ it's likely that, más vale que ­ it's better that, ojalá que, if only he would ­ puede ser que ­ it could be that Also remember to use the subjunctive after cuando.

Next week we will be finishing with the subjunctive and having plenty of homework to test your knowledge and learning, so be sure to study hard this week and you´ll be well prepared for when you need to speak in Spanish. ¡Que tengas una buena semana!

Friday, August 8, 2014

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Friday, August 8, 2014

FOOD FOR THE BRAIN From blueberries to tomatoes, these 10 brain foods are proven to boost memory, help us think clear­ ly, and contribute to overall good health.

The old maxim "You are what you eat," turns out to be true. New research on so­ called "brain foods" shows that some chem­ icals in the foods we eat go right to our brain cells.

But can food really make us more intelli­ gent, give us smarter kids, improve memory, help us think more clearly, and maybe even forestall those so­called "senior moments," or worse, dementia?

The answer is a qualified "yes." Although no one "miracle" food is going to boost your brain power instantly, make your kid a genius, or cure Alzheimer's, regularly adding certain foods to your diet will help you func­ tion at your personal best, both physically and mentally, throughout your lifetime.

brain tonic for young and old alike. In one study, elderly people who ate fish at least once a week slowed cognitive decline about Broccoli High in vitamin K, broccoli is known to 10 percent compared to those who didn't enhance brain power and improve cognitive chow down on fish, and the fish­eaters also function. Researchers at the Dundee performed better on tests of memory and University in Scotland found that sul­ mental sharpness. foraphane, a chemical found in broccoli, can Green Tea help keep the brain sharp and fight the dete­ Researchers in Japan found drinking a rioration of brain cells that cause Alzheimer's cup a day cuts your risk of age­related cog­ disease. nitive decline by 37 percent compared to

well as the brain.

Carrots

popper? Five servings of carrots a week reduce the risk of stroke by 68 percent.

those who consume less. Let it steep for at least three minutes for more brain benefits.

The helpful compounds, polyphenols, are also found in olive oil, chocolate and both beer and wine.

Nuts Fish Fatty fish is the richest source of omega­3 fatty acids, which have been touted as a

A study published in the American Journal of Epidemiology suggests that a good intake of vitamin E might help to prevent poor

as five servings of carrots, peas, apples, broccoli, or squash. Blueberries offer protec­ tion from oxidative stress in the heart — as

ARE YOU DRINKING ENOUGH WATER? DR MACHI MANNU’S ADVICE CLINIC Email your questions and comments to contact@medb.es

In recent times, the trend with public health care has been one of rising costs and falling standards, and with today’s economic outlook, this trend is only set to con­ tinue. And so it’s important we do the best we can to keep our health supreme.

And the most powerful step you can take to give your health a boost is to drink enough water. Many people I speak to during diagnostic scans confess that they don’t drink enough water or not at all. When thirsty, they would rather drink tea, cof­ fee, fizzy drinks, wine, gin tonic and water, wine and water….

Any drink but plain water. The truth is that many of them have lost the taste for pure water to the detriment of their health.

The fact is, without ade­ quate water, your body will not function optimally.

Rosemary Japanese scientists found that a diet sup­ plemented with rosemary extract resulted in less brain damage thanks to the herb's abil­

A Harvard University study showed American men who took 50mg of the antiox­ idant beta­carotene every other day for 15 years delayed cognitive ageing. Not a pill

Blueberries Blueberries have been shown to have the highest concentration of antioxidants of any fruit that has been studied. One half cup of blueberries has as much antioxidant power

Raisins Raisins are good for your brain because they are an excellent source of boron, a trace element that improves hand­eye coor­ dination, attention and memory. Other good sources of boron include hazelnuts, almonds and dried apricots.

Water is known as the uni­ versal solvent, and makes up over 65% of your body.

Your blood is composed of blood cells suspended in liquid plasma. And over 90% of plasma is made of water. The body relies on thousands of different chemical compounds in the form of nutrients, enzymes, hormones, peptides, and many other chemicals, in order to function properly – and most of these chemi­ cals can only reach the cells and tissues when dissolved in water. More importantly, water is necessary for the elimination of toxic wastes from the body. You may not realise it, but even some natural healthy foods you consume are laden with tox­ ins. But you are saved from the terrible effects of such toxins by the detoxification system of your liver and

intestines. These organs break down and repackage toxic wastes into manage­ able compounds which are easily dissolved in water, and can then be carried out of the body through the uri­ nary system. When you don’t drink enough water toxins start to accumulate in different parts of your body and with time this leads to inflammation and chronic disorders.

Furthermore, when you do not drink enough water, your kidneys are put under severe stress, and become unable to per­ form their function, and this may ultimately cause chron­ ic disorder. Ideally you should drink at least 1.5 litres of water a day.

FOR A FULL BODY DIAGNOSTIC SCAN – CALL DR MANNU ­ 965071745 or Visit ­ www.medb.es

memory. Nuts, particularly almonds and hazelnuts, are excellent sources of natural vitamin E.

Pumpkin Seeds Just a handful a day is all you need to get your recom­ mended daily amount of zinc, vital for enhancing memory and thinking skills.

Pumpkin seeds also contain omega 3 and a high amount of magnesium, which has a calming effect on the brain.

ity to combat free radicals, preventing the onset of degenerative conditions such as Alzheimer's and Lou Gehrig's disease.

Tomatoes There is good evidence to suggest that lycopene, a powerful antioxidant found in tomatoes, could help protect against the kind of free radical damage to cells which occurs in the development of dementia, par­

ticularly Alzheimer's. Interestingly, cooking and processing tomatoes increases the bioavailability of lycopene by releasing it from the vegetable fiber. Lycopene in tomato paste is four times more bioavailable than in fresh tomatoes.

Friday, August 8, 2014

The Benefits of Tea Tree Oil Tea tree oil has long been used in tradition­ al medicine, and it is one of the most remark­ able and versatile of chemicals. What makes tea tree oil unique is that it is effective against bacteria, fungi and viruses. Few other sub­ stances share this important distinction.

The tea tree, from which tea tree oil derives its common name, is native to Australia, and the indigenous peoples of the region have traditionally used the oil to treat a number of skin conditions, from eczema to acne to cuts and bruises.

Many of the most valuable uses of tea tree oil have to do with the skin. Tea tree oil is used in many acne preparations, and it can reduce the redness, swelling and lesions often associated with this common skin con­ dition. In addition, tea tree oils can be highly effective at treating dandruff. Some dandruff sufferers prefer to add a few drops of concentrated tea tree oil to their favorite shampoo, and many report that the results are just as good as using a more expensive dandruff shampoo.

The antiseptic and antibacterial properties of tea tree oil are well known also, and tea tree oil is often used to treat burns, cuts, insect bites, wounds and infections. In addi­ tion, tea tree oil’s antifungal properties make it a favorite for treating ringworm, athlete’s foot and many other common fungal dis­ eases.

Tea tree oil is known to have significant antiviral properties as well, and there is at least anecdotal evidence that it may be effec­ tive against many infectious diseases, includ­ ing colds, flu, chicken pox and shingles, as well as cold sores and warts.

When using tea tree oil it is important to remember that the concentrated oil is very strong. It is important never to use large amounts of the concentrated oil, and not to treat sensitive areas with the concentrated oil.

Tea tree oil is used in a wide variety of preparations, from creams and ointments to shampoos and astringents. It is important for each consumer to shop around carefully in order to find the most effective preparation of this powerful plant.

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Friday, August 8, 2014

CLEAN OUT THAT TOXIC OVERLOAD I am 57 years old, and for many years I have had problems with my digestion and skin. My diges­ tive problems are stomach rum­ bling, acid burns and diarrhoea or consti­ pation and sensitivity to many different foods. I was diagnosed with asthma 4 years ago, but I don’t have frequent attacks, and I’ve noticed my skin prob­ lems which are mainly rashes worsen when I have asthma. Over the years, I have seen many specialists and have had many tests – endoscopies, colono­ scopies, blood tests – and other than occasional anaemia or infection, nothing has been found. I have tried many differ­ ent therapies both alternative and ortho­ dox and have not felt much relief from them. I will appreciate your insight into my health problems.

Q

A

I have carried out diagnostic scans on people suffering from symptoms similar to yours, and have found; high intolerance to chemicals that cause allergies, and an over­ load of the liver with toxic chemicals espe­

cially mycotoxins from moulds, heavy met­ als, and pesticides. You may be suffering from a similar condition since your investiga­ tions have been found clear of any abnor­ malities. In cases of toxic overload, the liver becomes overwhelmed with contaminants or toxins. These can be from what we eat, drink or put on our skin. The liver breaks down these chemicals through a pathway that requires several thousand chemical processes to work efficiently. However some people may be lacking some of the enzymes required for this process to run smoothly. Not long ago, human beings would have been able to cope quite well with this deficiency, but the world is a different place today. It is laden with chemicals and we all have to bat­ tle to survive. When the liver fails to process toxins effectively, they are stored in our fat cells and in our bones. For example lead, a toxic heavy metal, is stored in our bones when the liver is overloaded. But many women suffer from a loss of bone density after menopause, causing the toxic lead to leach into the blood, leading to a host of health problems. Lead also raises blood pressure by constricting arteries, and it is

Mycotoxins well known that removing toxic lead from the blood stream can cure hypertension. The toxins stored in fat cells when the liver is overloaded with toxins slowly seeps into the blood stream, causing our organs to be inflamed. When the respiratory organs are inflamed, the resulting symptoms may include cough, asthma or bronchitis.

Inflammation of the digestive system may cause dysbacteriosis – a condition that results from an imbalance of good and bad bacteria in the stomach. This imbalance usu­ ally causes the abdominal symptoms you describe such as rumbling stomach and acid reflux. The stomach contains over 500 differ­ ent species of microbes coexisting in a deli­ cate balance. Any number of factors will affect this balance: antibiotic prescriptions, mineral deficiencies, poor diet, and the pres­ ence of toxins in the gastric glands. I believe your health will improve a lot after a detox with Pectasol. Pectasol is an oral chelator of heavy metals such as lead, mercury and alu­ minium. Pectasol from Douglas Laboratories is available at MedB Health Shop. Price 83.94 Euros. Call 965071745 to place an order. Delivery is free.

Q

I suffer from Rheumatoid arthritis, and no longer get relief from my pain killers. What else can I take?

An effective therapy for any kind of arthritis, especially rheumatoid arthritis is MSM (Methyl Sulfonyl Methane). MSM is the natural form of sulphur in the body. This sulphur is not the same as the sulphur found in Sulfa drugs or creams which some people may be allergic to. MSM is a mineral nutrient that can be likened to Calcium or Magnesium. It is found in huge amounts in the body, and plays a major role in promoting and stabilizing

A

numerous functions of the body. About half of all MSM in the body is concentrated in the muscles, skin, bones and joints, and the amount available in our body reduces as we age. MSM has powerful pain relieving and anti­inflammatory properties. It is also critical for forming the cartilage and surrounding tis­ sues that make up our joints. This is why MSM is so effective for managing all manner of bone, joint or muscle problem. According to many experts, MSM is the most effective agent – whether prescribed, or natural – for managing arthritis. Dr Lawrence, a renowned pain expert is quoted to have said that in his 50 years of practising medicine, he has never come across any substance as effective as MSM for dealing with pain. And I can agree with the doctor. In my clinical experience, everyone I have treated with MSM has experienced their pain reduce sig­ nificantly and in many cases this has occurred soon after starting therapy. But the dose and quality of MSM consumed is important. I have come across people who have not had any pain relief from MSM either because they took a small dose or pur­ chased a product of questionable quality.

The dose I find most effective for Rheumatoid arthritis is a starting dose of 10 grams every 12 hours for a month, and then a maintenance dose of 10 grams daily. I have seen the pain of arthritis disappear within a day on this dose. The organic form of MSM from herbs is also of a far more superior quality than the low quality synthetic kind. I would not expect the same dramatic effect from poor quality MSM. Anyone suffer­ ing from any form of arthritis or connective tissue problem­ rheumatoid arthritis, osteoarthritis, tendonitis, carpal tunnel syn­ drome – should try MSM for pain relief. It is truly a miracle supplement for arthritis.

Please email your questions to: con­ tact@medb.es or call 965071745

Friday, August 8, 2014

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Friday, August 8, 2014

100 YEARS ON YOUNG DOES OLD Two great nights of music led to 1,500 Euros being raised for Help at Home, Mar Menor, with a couple of performanc­ es from the Orbi Playa Big Band, who have been coming over to support HAH for the last two years. The 18 strong group, that was only formed in Kent in 2012, played in venues in Los Urrutias and Los Alcazares, with many HAH vol­ unteers turning up for both evenings at the Casa Familiar Restaurant and the Irish Tavern respectively. The young British band specialises in playing swing and the standards of Frank Sinatra, Nat King Cole, and Ella Fitzgerald.

It was a time to reflect last Sunday as the Orihuela Costa Branch of the Royal British Legion commemorated the 100th anniversary of the start of the First World War. Over 100 Legion members came together for a special service at the Capilla de las Mil Palmeras, which was conducted by the Branch President and Chaplain, Pastor Keith Brown, who, fol­ lowing a short prayer, processed into the church the Standards from Mojacar, Benidorm, Albox, the RNA, Royal Marines and RAFA as well as the Union and Spanish flags and the Standard of the local Branch.

There followed a number of poignant readings, hymns and even a carol, fol­ lowed by The Last Post and Reveille were played by Inge Sunde, a former bugler to

the Norwegian Royal Household, after which everyone moved into the Garden of Remembrance where Poppy Crosses and Wreaths were laid in memory of every­ body who lost their lives in the Great War. The commemoration then finished with a ‘March Past’ from the church to the Olympia Restaurant, which was led by the Torrevieja Pipes and Drums.

The next big event for the Orihuela Costa branch will be the Summer BBQ taking place later this month on August 21st at the Olympia Restaurant, Mil Palmeras, and the branch meets every 3rd Thursday of the month at 7.30pm at the same venue, with members and non­ members more than welcome to come along. More information is on the branch website at www.orihuelacostarbl.com

The coffers of the Torrevieja Stroke Support got a lift of over 1,000 euros after a recent night organised by the Smile Charity Group at the El Alto La Dolores Restaurant in Guardamar. Over 200 people enjoyed the enter­ tainment from Woody & The Peckers, with Margaret and Cliff Tozer from Almoradi getting the first prize in the raffle, which was

another seven night Mediterranean Cruise donated by the venue owner, Andres.

The Smile Charity Group are getting ready to read the boards for ’Skool Blazers – Flaming St Trinians', which will be playing at Casa Ventura in San Luis and The Club, Quesada, next month.

Money raised from the per­ formances will go to the ‘Benijófar Crisis Appeal’ and ‘The A l z h e i m e r ' s Association’.

PLENTY TO SMILE ABOUT

BARGAIN CLEARANCE The APAH Animal Rescue Charity Shop in San Miguel de Salina is celebrating five years of being in business this month, and with that in mind, it will be staging a half­price Summer clothes sale from Monday August 18th. APAH

hopes that this will help to raise some badly needed funds, and as their shop in San Miguel is only small, it will free up some much needed storage space, in hopeful readiness for the always welcome donations which peo­ ple have, in previous years, brought to them as one sea­ son ends and another one starts.

The shop is on Calle San Miguel, which is an extension of the main street through the centre of San Miguel, with opening times on Monday to Saturday between 10.00am through till 2.00pm. Just look for the yellow APAH sign!

GREAT ROUND FOR MABS The MABS Cancer Support group has got a big boost of 760 euros, thanks to a charity golf day staged by Costa Calida Golf Tours at the Mar Menor Golf Resort. A full quota of 40 players got involved, who afterwards took part in a raffle and auction, and then presented the MABS area co­ordinator, Janet Bell, with the proceeds.

Friday, August 8, 2014

25

HOUSE OF FILTH

By Tony Mayes

Dirty students, with habits similar to that of those in The Young Ones TV comedy, have left a Benijofar couple with a huge cleaning bill for their large Victorian house back in the UK. The couple used the rent from letting out the building to students, in order to help fund their Spanish retirement, but have been shocked at how dirty and thoughtless some modern stu­ dents have become. Last year´s intake of two girls and four boys, aged around 19, left their student accommodation this summer a complete wreck, with the couple having to face a monumental task clearing up the filth and replacing almost everything in the property.

The house, on the outskirts of Southampton, used to be Tony White and his wife Geraldine´s family home for six years. But for the past 23 years they have let it out to stu­ dents, latterly to fund their retirement, but now they have a repair bill of between £3 to £5 thousand pounds.

"We couldn´t believe the state they left the house in, " said Tony.” In all the years we have been letting out our house we have never seen anything like it. Their cleanliness was total­ ly non­ existent. Everywhere was filthy dirty and greasy, the cooker, oven, fridge, beds, carpets, everything was appalling. Professional cleaners who we called in wouldn´t

use the kettle, and had their food and drink outside, it was that bad."

Inside the house were countless empty or half­filled bot­ tles of wine, Jack Daniels whisky, beer cans, empty pizza boxes as well as coins everywhere, either on the floor or in jars. The fridge was completely full of mouldy, rotting and smelling food which looked as if it had been there for weeks, and the freezer was also filled with food, but the cabinet was so iced up, the door wouldn´t shut. Even the washing machine, which was less than two years old, was a wreck, and had to be thrown out. The carpets, bedding, settees and household appliances were so dirty they all had to be thrown out into a huge skip. The students had never opened win­ dows to air their rooms and tried to dry clothes there instead of using the washing line outside, and the result was mould everywhere.

The toilets, sinks, showers and baths and the kitchen sink were all an absolute disgrace.

"It was just like walking into a doss house”, moaned Tony. “ The students had no respect for anyone, either themselves or others. Not only were there coins left everywhere, but the students ‘own possessions too, like calculators, paper, sports equipment, stereo stacking systems, a tent, a settee, microwaves and other personal items, all just abandoned.

You keep hearing stories of students being hard up and hav­ ing to live from hand to mouth, but not this group judging by what they left behind. However, they seemed to exist on alcohol and pizzas."

Structurally, door and cupboard locks were broken and a stud wall damaged. What was alarming for Tony and his family was that his new intake of students were due to arrive last month, so it meant a mammoth job clearing out all the filthy mess, dumping it initially in the front garden, re­deco­ rating virtually everywhere and buying in all new furniture, household appliances and new carpets.

Tony commented: "the new intake of students and their parents were shocked at what they saw, but some of the stu­ dents got stuck in with us to help and I went with one to IKEA to buy a new mattress. By the end of some very long, hard days it was all looking good but I reckon it took about 20 man­days of very hard work to get it done."

The cost has completely eaten up the students´ (normally refundable) deposits and is likely to cost several thousands of pounds more when all bills are calculated and paid. The experience has made Tony and his wife think hard about continuing as landlords and they are planning to put the property on the market as a going concern, investing the proceeds to provide a future income.

"It´s all the hassle and problems that´s involved these days. Not only have you got to contend with the problems the students throw at you, there are endless rules and regu­ lations, pages long, laid down by government and the local council. For example, the new rules say I have to provide 24­ hour emergency cover for the students. That might be a jus­ tifiable requirement for a large hostel, but for a house with six students, it´s way over the top," he added.

FUN AND FITNESS A big of high summer toning up is being offered in free classes on Santiago de la Ribera beach. The classes are going well, with up to 50 people attending some sessions.

Every Monday and Wednesday from 9.00 am to 10.00am you can enjoy a pilates session on the beach, followed by half an hour of aqua­aero­ bics in the Mar Menor. The classes take place next to

the fish restaurant on the beach, near the Santiago statue.

Then on Tuesdays and Thursdays evenings, from 7.30pm to 8.30pm there are Zumba and body fitness sessions offered, with the occasional belly dancing class. The class­ es are open to everyone, you just turn up when you want to, and they cater for all levels of fitness. The classes are organized by the Municipal Sports Centre, and music is pro­ vided!

26

Friday, August 8, 2014

BBQ MARINADES AND SIDES

chicken, croutons, bacon strips, eggs, sliced in half, the fresh anchovies and some Parmesan shavings. Then drizzle with the dressing to serve.

SPICY COLESLAW Ingredients 350g white cabbage (shredded) 250g celeriac (shredded) 2 carrots (shredded) 1 red onion (shredded) 1 mild red chilli (deseed­ ed) 200g Greek yogurt 1tbsp cider vinegar

PAPRIKA WEDGES Ingredients

sionally, adding a little water if the sauce becomes too thick.

Season with salt and freshly ground pepper.

3. Blend the sauce until smooth with a stick blender, food processor or blender. Brush over chicken, steaks, ribs and chops while cooking or use as a relish to serve with burgers and sausages.

BIG AND TASTY CHICKEN CAESAR SALAD Ingredients

2 large organic free­ range skin­on chick­ 1. Mix together 350g white en breasts cabbage, 250g celeriac, 2 12 rashers smoked carrots, 1 red onion and 1 streaky bacon mild red chilli (deseeded) all shredded or finely sliced, with 25g Parmesan, 200g Greek yogurt and 1tbsp cider vinegar and season with freshly grated, plus salt and freshly ground black pepper. extra shavings to serve 4 baby gem lettuce, BARBECUE SAUCE trimmed, leaves separated and washed Ingredients 16 fresh anchovy fillets in oil, drained 1tbsp sunflower oil Check you’ve got 1 onion, chopped 150ml olive oil 1 garlic clove, crushed 100g white bread, crusts removed, torn into pieces 4tbsp mango chutney 4 organic free­range eggs 4tbsp tomato ketchup 4 tinned anchovies in oil 4tbsp white wine vinegar Small garlic clove, crushed 1tbsp sweet chilli sauce 1tbsp Dijon mustard 2tsp smoked paprika 1/2­1tbsp runny honey 227g can chopped tomatoes Juice of 1/2 lemon 2tbsp soft light brown sugar

Method

Method

Method

1. Heat oven to Mark 6/200°C. Rub the chicken with 1tbsp oil 1. Heat the oil in a pan, add the onion and cook over a medi­ and season. Cook in a hot griddle pan, 2 mins each side, um heat for 5 mins until softened. then bake for 20 mins, until cooked through. Rest for 5 mins, 2. Add the remaining ingredients, bring to the boil, stirring, then thickly slice. Toss the bread with 1tbsp oil, season and then reduce the heat and simmer for 5 mins, stirring occa­ bake for 5­10 mins until golden.

2. Put the eggs in a pan and cover with cold water. Bring to the boil and simmer for 4 mins for soft­boiled, longer for hard­ boiled. Drain, run under cold water until the shells are cool.

3. Peel and set aside. Meanwhile, grill or fry the bacon until crisp. Drain on kitchen paper.

4. For the dressing, chop the tinned anchovies and pound to a paste in a pestle and mortar. Stir in the garlic, mustard, honey and lemon juice. Very gradually whisk in the remaining olive oil, then add 4­5tbsp water to thin down. Stir in the Parmesan and season.

5. Divide the lettuce between 4 bowls, top each with the

750g bag of potato wedges 1/2tsp sweet paprika 1/2tsp ground cumin Zest of 1 lemon

Method

1. Arrange a 750g bag of potato wedges on a large baking tray. Sprinkle over 1∕2tsp sweet paprika, 1∕2tsp ground cumin and zest of 1 lemon and season well. Mix until coated. Bake according to packet instructions until crispy and golden.

PIRI-PIRI SAUCE Ingredients 6 whole fresh red chillies 2 whole cloves of gar­ lic 1 quartered and deseeded red pepper 1 tsp salt flakes ½ tsp fresh oregano 2 tsp ground paprika 3 tbs red wine vinegar 6 tbs olive oil 1 spatchcocked chicken 8 chicken joints or 12 chicken wings

Method

1. Set oven to 180°C/350°F/Gas Mark 4. Put chillies, unpeeled cloves of garlic and red pepper in a roasting tin.

Roast for 30 mins.

2. Put them all in a polybag and leave to cool for 10 mins.

Squeeze the chillies out of their skins; remove seeds.

3. Remove skin from the garlic and pepper. Roughly chop them all and put in a pan with salt flakes, dried oregano or fresh oregano, ground paprika, red wine vinegar and olive oil.

Simmer for 2­3 mins. Cool, then blend with a stick blender to make a smooth sauce.

4. Keep the Piri Piri in a jar in the fridge. Use within 1 month.

5. Use to make Piri Piri Chicken: Spread half the sauce over a spatchcocked chicken, chicken joints or chicken wings.

Marinate for 1 hr. Cook on a griddle, a barbecue or in the oven.

4 EASY MARINADES Ingredients For the sweet herb marinade: 2 level tbsp dark brown soft sugar Zested rind and juice of 1 lemon 1­2 cloves garlic, peeled and crushed

27

Friday, August 8, 2014 2­3 level tbsp chopped fresh oregano and/or thyme 4tbsp olive oil For the soy, honey and ginger marinade: 3tbsp soy sauce 3tbsp clear honey 1­2tbsp freshly grated root ginger For the pesto: 3­4tbsp fresh green pesto Finely zested rind and juice of ½ lemon For the spiced marinade 1­2tbsp curry paste, eg, tikka 4tbsp natural yogurt

Method

1. Just mix all the ingredients together for each marinade and keep them chilled until you need them.

2. Marinate food for a minimum of 4 hours, but preferably overnight, to absorb flavours.

SWEET CHILLI CORN Ingredients 2 corn­on­the­cobs Butter Sweet chilli sauce Salt and pepper

Method

1. Halve 2 corn on the cobs and place each piece on a large piece of foil. Dot each with a knob of butter, drizzle over ½tbsp sweet chilli sauce and season well with salt and pepper.

2. Wrap the pieces of sweetcorn tightly in the foil and cook on the barbecue or under the gril for 20 mins, turning occasion­ ally.

ROAST PEPPER, OLIVE AND FETA PASTA SALAD Ingredients 3 red peppers, halved and deseeded 3 yellow peppers, halved and deseeded 3tbsp olive oil 4 garlic cloves, unpeeled 500g (1lb 2oz) pasta shapes 125g (4½ oz) kalamata olives Good handful roughly­torn basil leaves 200g pack feta cheese, crumbled For the dressing: 2tbsp olive oil 2tbsp extra virgin olive oil 2tbsp red wine vinegar 3tbsp chopped fresh parsley

Method

1. Put the peppers in a large roasting tin, drizzle with the oil, scatter over the garlic and season well. Roast in a preheated oven at 220°C (425°F, gas mark 7) for 30 mins until lightly charred. Keep the garlic to one side and put the peppers in a food bag. When cooled, peel and thickly slice.

2. Cook the pasta according to packet instructions until al dente (firm to the bite). Drain and cool under running water and set to one side.

3. To make the dressing, squeeze the roasted garlic cloves from their skins and mash with a fork. Whisk in all the dress­ ing ingredients and season to taste.

4. Combine the pasta and peppers with the olives and drizzle over the dressing. Stir through the basil and feta cheese just before you're ready to serve.

SLOW-ROASTED BALSAMIC TOMATOES Ingredients 450g pack tomatoes, halved 1/2tbsp thyme leaves You'll also need 2tbsp balsamic vinegar 1tbsp olive oil

Method

1. Heat the oven to Mark 2/150°C. Arrange the tomatoes in a roasting tin and drizzle with the balsamic and olive oil.

2. Sprinkle with the thyme leaves and season well with salt and freshly ground black pepper. Bake for 1­2 hours until lightly caramelised.

GREEK SALAD WITH HONEY AND MINT DRESSING Ingredients ½ cucumber, seeds removed, sliced 3 medium tomatoes, diced 1 red onion, sliced 100g black Kalamata olives 180g feta cheese, cubed 4tbsp Greek­style honey yogurt Handful of fresh mint, chopped 2tbsp extra virgin olive oil Black pepper Pitta breads

Method

1. Combine all the ingredients in a bowl except the yogurt.

In another small bowl take the yogurt, mint, oil and pepper and mix well. Pour over the salad ingredients and toss together. Serve immediately with warm pitta breads.

CHORIZO AND BEAN SALAD Ingredients 2tsp olive oil 125g (4oz) piece chorizo ring, sliced 2 shallots, or 1 small red onion, peeled and finely chopped 2 sticks celery, finely sliced 1 orange, yellow or red pep­ per, deseeded and cut into chunks 150ml (¼ pint) white wine 410g can cannellini beans, rinsed and drained 150g (5oz) sun­blush toma­ toes, drained, or 8 baby plum tomatoes, halved 4 spring onions, trimmed and sliced Handful of fresh parsley or basil leaves Crusty bread, to serve

Method

1. Heat a frying pan, add the oil and chorizo, and fry for 2­

3 mins. Add the shallot or onion, the celery and pepper, and stir­fry for 5 mins.

2. Pour in the wine and simmer for 2­3 mins, or until the liquid is reduced by about half.

3. Stir in the beans and simmer for a few mins to warm them through.

4. Add the tomato and spring onion. Spoon into a serving bowl and top with parsley or torn basil leaves. Serve with bread.

MINT SAUCE Ingredients 90g (3oz) fresh mint leaves 1 small onion or shallot, peeled and sliced into thin rings About 150ml (¼ pint) light malt vinegar or white wine or cider vinegar

Method

1. Rinse the mint and shake it well to dry it. Remove the larg­ er stalks, then chop the leaves finely. Pack the mint into clean, dry jars with the onion rings. Pour over enough vinegar to cover.

2. Cover with a vinegar­proof, non­metal cover. Store in a cool, dark place to preserve the colour. It should keep for about 2 months.

3. To serve: Take out the amount you need and stir in a little sugar.

CLASSIC VINAIGRETTE Ingredients 2 tbsp white or red wine vinegar 1/2­1 tsp Dijon mustard Salt and freshly ground black pepper 6 tbsp good olive oil

Method

1. Whisk vinegar with mus­ tard and plenty of season­ ing. Slowly whisk in olive oil (or shake ingredients together in a jar.)

2. Use to dress salad leaves. Keep in the fridge and use with­ in 1 week.

28

Friday, August 8, 2014

DON’T BE SCAMMED Spanish consumer associations have raised the alarm about fresh attempts to defraud members of the public by telephone and have issued information to help prevent people from falling into con­artists' traps. Bogus gas and electricity inspectors arranging 'appointments' by tele­ phone with homeowners – frequently the elderly or people they believe to be foreign – to carry out unlawful and unso­ licited 'checks' on installations and then charge hundreds or even thousands of euros are gradually overtaking door­ to­door on­spec visits.

And the 'missed call' trick is becoming rife in Spain, too, say consumer groups. Normally, the caller hangs up after a maximum of three rings, relying on the occupant's curiosity or courtesy leading him or her to redial and find out who it was. Whether occupants ring back or manage to pick up before the phone goes dead, they will get an auto­ mated message saying they have a parcel to collect and that they should send a text message to a given number, with the word buzón ('mailbox') to arrange to receive it.

If occupants do this, they will receive an error message saying, 'the SMS could not be delivered to the recipient' – but in practice, they will have inadvertently subscribed to a premium­rate text­message service. This will then 'spam' them with text messages and charge an astronomical fee for receiving them. Other times, if the occupant picks up the phone before the rings stop, he or she will get a mes­ sage purporting to be from the telephone company and will

request personal details to send a new mobile handset to their house.

These suspect calls tend to come from a mobile number starting 662 991, or a landline number apparently from Madrid, beginning 91 125. Consumer protection groups say these calls should never be answered or returned, and no personal details whatsoever should be give out to the caller.

Another way of getting phone users to sub­ scribe to premium­rate SMS services involves sending a message to the chat service WhatsApp, which says: “I'm writing to you via 'wasap' [sic]. Tell me if you're getting my mes­ sages. Did you add me the other day?”

The number is said to be 25568, and users should not reply under any circumstances or they will automatically have let themselves in for receiving a flood of text adverts which cost them a considerable fee every time they are received.

An additional telephone scam detected – although the caller's numbers have not been iden­ tified yet – involves tricksters pretending to be calling from the security department at Visa. The person on the line says Visa has detected an 'unusual transaction' on the customer's card and needs to carry out some secu­ rity checks. The card­holder will be asked a series of ques­ tions concerning personal data, including their address and card number.

Next, using the same line as legitimate companies do for over­the­phone card sales, the caller will say he or she needs to check the customer is in fact currently in posses­ sion of the card and ask for the three security digits on the back of it. Sometimes they will even ask for the PIN num­ ber. Consumer groups warn that if the customer gives these details, he or she will find considerable amounts of money immediately disappear from the account after hav­ ing been spent by the fraudsters.

And these protection groups reveal that continuing cases of the now­famous and so­called 'Microsoft fraud' have been detected in Spain, where a stranger rings claim­ ing the line­holder has a virus on his or her computer and

g i v e s instructions allowing said stranger to take con­ trol of the terminal. The occu­ pant is then told he or she needs to renew the computer's software licence, often at a cost of around 200 euros, and is asked to hand over bank details or credit card numbers and PINs. If the would­be victim refuses to do so, the caller is able to block the hard drive or introduce dangerous mal­ ware and spyware.

Calls like these normally come from either a withheld number or from a country in Asia, and the caller speaks English with an Indian or Pakistani accent and pretends to be from Microsoft's head office in California. They started out targeting victims in the USA and UK, but more and more have been seen in Spain, particularly affecting English­speaking expatriates.

Friday, August 8, 2014

29

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Friday, August 8, 2014

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Friday, August 8, 2014

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32

Friday, August 8, 2014

Horoscopes Aries March 21 ­ April 19 Be a bit more selective in terms of where you put your energy today, Aries. Don't waste your time with situations that aren't healthy or conducive to your aims. You may find it hard to get motivated, but this is fine. This is a good day to lay low. Your energy is apt to feel rather sluggish, so be conservative with how you use it. Pace yourself throughout the day.

Taurus April 20 ­ May 20 Love and romance are coming your way today, but it's important to be practical, Taurus. Don't take your relationships for granted. Realize that love doesn't neces­ sarily mean that everything is perfect.

Structure and discipline are often required in order to maintain a healthy partnership. You should be able to incor­ porate these elements rather well, so make the most of this energy.

Gemini May 21 ­ June 20 You probably should settle down a bit today in the love and romance depart­ ment, Gemini. Realize that your relation­ ships with others aren't a show or stage act to perform. This is a day when you should listen to feedback from your part­ ner and think about restructuring certain elements of your relationship in order to make things flow more smoothly.

Cancer June 21 ­ July 22 Sit back and observe others' behavior today, Cancer. Take a look at the people around you and figure out what makes them tick. You'll find that you can learn a great deal from their actions and mis­ takes. Consider your role models and people you wish to emulate. Think about the traits that attract you to certain people and work to adopt those traits yourself.

By Pandora Leo July 23 ­ August 22 Your love life might be a little fragile, and you'll find that your partner is more sensi­ tive than usual, Leo. A more caring, emo­ tional approach to a situation will help you form a better connection with your partner. Today you'll find that clear boundaries need to be established in order to keep things running smoothly between you and your loved ones.

Virgo August 23 ­ September 22 Things in the love and beauty department should be going rather well for you now, Virgo, so it's a good time to make a move toward the object of your desire. Make sure that you're being completely realistic in your actions. Realize that you may need some discipline in this area.

Maintain a healthy structure within which you can work.

Libra September 23 ­ October 22 Slow down and take a more reserved, sensitive, and calculated approach to things today, Libra, especially when it comes to matters involving love and beauty. You'll find a greater level of sen­ suality waiting for you when you're willing to open up the door even wider. Go after the object of your desire, but make sure that your approach is sensitive and disci­ plined.

Scorpio October 23 ­ November 21 You may be at a rather climactic point now in the department of love and beauty, Scorpio. Your creative levels are peaking and you might feel a strong urge to create something on a giant canvas. Realize that discipline is needed to get those artistic juices flowing. Don't let fear stop you.

Initiate your dreams and let the details fall into place later.

Sagittarius November 22 ­ December 21 Pieces of your life that you've tried to avoid for some time may come to the surface today and cause you a bit of trouble, Sagittarius. That which isn't organized or structured is getting more and more chaotic just to teach you a lesson. Take care of things now. Put things in order and become more aware of the ticking of the clock.

There's a reason you need to take care of business.

Capricorn December 22 ­ January 19 Cupid has fired his arrow into your heart today, Capricorn, so snuggle up with the object of your desire. You'll feel more sensual and romantic than usual.

Gourmet foods and fine wines should grace your plate tonight. Realize that there may be an element of restraint that needs to get worked into the equation, but don't let this stop you from having a good time.

Aquarius January 20 ­ February 18 You may feel a bit of a creative block now, Aquarius, but don't view this as a signal to stop pursuing your artistic goals.

The truth of the matter is that discipline is all that's needed to manifest the things you really want. Don't let other people's energies get in the way of where you are now and where you want to be. Get back in the flow.

Pisces February 19 ­ March 20 Today is an important day in which you can breathe creative energy into a struc­ tured situation, Pisces. You'll find that bol­ stering the aesthetics of your surroundings will help inspire you to be more disciplined and eager to keep things neat and tidy.

Take your time and don't let other people's anxiety cause you to rush into anything you aren't ready for.

33

Friday, August 8, 2014

RICHARD CAVENDER

Bluemoon Solutions www.bluemoonsolutions.es

BlueMoon Solutions is the computer and IT services com­ pany on the Costa Blanca, they provide quality computer services at realistic prices and specialise in working with home users and small businesses.

Richard moved to Spain eight years ago having left his management background behind in the UK and decided to use his IT skills to help home users and small businesses with their PC prob­ lems. Now a relaxed 'computer man' he is out and about in the Spanish sun every day, making house and shop calls and using his vast expe­ rience and qualifications to (usually) sort out the problem there and then. Computers are his hobby as well as his work so don’t be surprised to get an answer to your email in the early hours!

ADVICE: Iris was having some sound problems when ADVICE: Kelly was having problems getting access to her Hotmail account. using Skype

Q

Dear Richard, I read with interest the letter from Judith and your reply in this week’s Courier because I am having the same problem, when I use Skype they cannot hear me. I have tried going to audio setting and both micro­ phone and speakers are both showing green tried echo test, still no sound, have tried uninstalling and reinstalling Skype without any change. Tried Mr Fix It and get a message saying “Audio or input device not plugged in.” I cannot see anything that is not plugged in, any other suggestions please, regards Iris Hi Iris, the error message “audio device not plugged in” suggests that you don’t have your speakers connected to the computer – do you get ANY sound from it? If you don’t then check the speakers are plugged in or are plugged into the correct socket.

A

ADVICE: : Kathy wanted to know how to enable double line spacing in Open Office Writer

Q A

Hi, Richard could you please confirm how I enable double line spacing in Open Office? Kathy Hi Kathy, to enable double line spacing in Open Office Writer, you need to change the paragraph property, you can do this by clicking Format > Paragraph > Indents & Spacing > Line spacing: double.

Don’t forget you can follow me on twit­ ter @bluemoonspain Alternately why don’t you sign up for my newsletter. You can do this by going to:­ www.bluemoonsolutions.es and fill in the form that is on any page except the front page.

Q

Hi Richard. My query is that I have not been able to access my emails from my Hotmail account since I bought my windows 8 laptop a couple of months ago. It has given me an alternative email to send a security code to but this address has not been used for 10 years so of course the password is long gone.

My Hotmail is my main email and I have my job alerts, flight confirmations etc. mailed to this address.

Do I have to give it up and create a 'live' account? I have a Gmail as well but the laptop doesn't like that. When I request the code be sent to this address it won't accept it.

My emails come through on my phone but I need to access my emails from my laptop for printing, etc. I'm completely stuck and don't have a clue. Any help or suggestions gratefully accepted! Many thanks in advance, Kelly Hi Kelly, all is not totally lost – yet.

You still have the option to send information about your account to Microsoft that only you would know, they can then use this information as determination whether or not they believe you are who you say you are – they may then allow you back into your account.

It’s important, you know this now of course, to keep your security information up to date so that if your account becomes compromised, you have the options to recover it.

If you follow the link below… https://account.live.com/resetpassword.aspx …and follow the link for a password reset you will eventually be directed to a page that asks for personal information about your email account. They will want to know things like the subject lines of recent emails sent, the names of any folders you have created and the email addresses of people that you have recently sent emails to.

Feel free to contact me again if you get stuck and I can even arrange for an appointment to come and try to sort it out for you, but if you persist and take the time to answer their ques­ tions you have a good chance of getting your account back.

A

office@bluemoonsolutions.es www.bluemoonsolutions.es Mobile: 655 044 970

Office: 902 906 200

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Friday, August 8, 2014

DIESEL DRIVERS Seatbelt that tells you TO BE PENALISED when you're sleepy

Cars with diesel engines could soon incur new charges and higher taxes as part of efforts to lower air pollution levels in Britain’s towns and cities.

Drivers of diesel­powered vehicles will have to pay an extra £10 on top of the nor­ mal congestion zone charge to enter central London under proposals being drawn up by Boris Johnson, Mayor of London.

Many other cities are considering fol­ lowing London’s lead by creating low emission zones, which would carry charges and penal­ ties for diesel vehi­ cles.

Mr Johnson is also urging the gov­ ernment to charge diesel car drivers more road tax.

Labour wants to create a national network of low emission zones, which would prevent older diesel vehicles entering many cities.

There is growing pressure on city councils to cut diesel fumes in order to avoid fines

from the European Commission for breaching air pollution limits. The com­ mission launched legal pro­ ceedings against Britain in February.

At least 20 cities including Sheffield, Leicester, Bradford, Birmingham and Bristol, which suffer poor air quality, are looking at intro­ ducing low emission zones.

Oxford created a low emission zone for buses this year which may be extend­ ed to apply to all vehicles.

In Britain, about 29,000 premature deaths a year are thought to be caused by air pollution.

People living in London, Birmingham and Leeds will be exposed to dangerous air

pollution from engine fumes until the 2030s unless stricter rules are imposed, according to the Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs.

More people turned to diesel powered cars in recent years due to govern­ ment tax incentives which were designed to lower car­ bon emissions.

But diesel engines produce toxins including nitrogen dioxide, which irritates the lung lining and can cause respi­ ratory disease.

The £10 extra diesel charge in central London could come into force as early as 2020 and would mean diesel drivers would pay a minimum of £20 every time they entered the capi­ tal’s ‘ultra­low emission zone’.

Diesel vehicles that meet the Euro 6 emissions stan­ dard would be exempt while petrol cars registered before 2006 would also have to pay.

CRIMP MY RIDE! A motorist has demonstrat­ ed the tank­like build of his car by filming himself driving it home after an accident.

The unidentified driver from Poland is seen behind the wheel of the vehicle, which looks nearly fine from the front.

It is only when he pulls up alongside the cameraman to the curb that viewers see that it has a crumpled roof, doors and no windows.

‘Yo, what's up?' the young man says to his friend filming.

Far from being distressed, he grins and starts laughing.

Justin Chaezy, who uploaded the video to YouTube, does not reveal what happened to the car.

He merely states that it was 'warped in the middle from [an] accident' but 'still functioning' as the result of 'Polish engineering excel­ lence.'

To date the video of the bust­up car has been watched more than 870,000 times since it was posted online.

Many have deemed the clip 'amusing' and one view­ er said the car would be per­ fect for making U­turns in because of its compact shape.

A seatbelt that wakes you up if you are in danger of falling asleep at the wheel is being developed by scien­ tists. The device measures the driver’s heart rate and breathing via a sensor sys­ tem knitted into the seatbelt and seat cover.

If the rates drop too much, a warning alarm goes off.

Jose Solaz of the Biomechanics Institute in Valencia, Spain, where the HARKEN device is being developed, said: ‘The varia­ tion in heart and respiratory rate are good indicators of the state of the driver as they are related to fatigue.

HARKEN can monitor those variables and therefore warn the driver before the symp­ toms appear.’

The designers say the sys­ tem is innovative because it can cancel out the motion of the car and only pick up heart and respiratory rate thanks to the ‘smart textile materials’ embedded in the seat cover and seatbelt.

These materials are com­ posed of a combination of

fibres and yarns with electrical properties which are mixed with the standard material of the seat and belt. The team say it is a ‘state of the art unobtrusive testing’ and the testing device will be ‘invisible to the user’.

According to the Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents, crashes involving driver fatigue are about 50 per cent more likely to result in death or serious injury as they tend to be high speed impacts because a driver who has fallen asleep cannot brake or swerve to avoid or reduce the impact.

A ROSPA spokesman said: ‘Sleepiness reduces reaction time, a critical element of safe driving. It also reduces vigi­ lance, alertness and concen­ tration so that the ability to perform attention­based activities, such as driving, is impaired.

‘The speed at which infor­

mation is processed is also reduced by sleepiness. The quality of decision­making may also be affected.’

Crashes caused by tired drivers are most likely to hap­ pen on long journeys on monotonous roads, such as motorways, according to research. Young male driv­ ers, lorry drivers, employees in company cars and shift workers have been found to be most at risk of falling asleep at the wheel.

Research shows tiredness among drivers accounts for 20 to 35 per cent of serious accidents and suggests there are more than 6,000 fatalities a year in Europe because of driver fatigue.

Friday, August 8, 2014

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Friday, August 8, 2014

CODE CRACKER Code Cracker is a crossword puzzle with no clues; instead, every letter of the alphabet has been replaced by a number, the same number representing the same letter throughout the puzzle. All you have to do is decide which letter is represented by which number. In this week’s puzzle, 3 represents B and 11 represents L, when these letters have been entered throughout the puzzle, you should have enough information to start guessing words and discovering other letters.

QUICKIE

Across 1 Diminishes gradually (6) 5 Agree on (6) 8 Sort (4) 9 Mild stimulant (8) 10 Anguish (8) 11 Most beneficial (4) 12 Intelligence (6) 14 Stink (6) 16 Consumes (4) 18 Old coin worth 12 (old) pence (8) 20 Assiduous (8) 21 Very dry (4) 22 Mythical tale (6)

23 Distant but within sight (6) Down 2 Whenever (7) 3 Vote for (5) 4 Triumph (7) 5 Sieves (5) 6 Shake (7) 7 Connections (5) 13 Encourage (7) 14 Speedily (7) 15 Brief (7) 17 Bear (5) 18 Pay out (5) 19 Find out (5)

Last weeks Solution

Across: 1 Switch, 4 Cursed, 9 Imprisons, 10/17 Pig out, 11 Stern, 12 Nitrate, 13 Eat, 14 Risky, 15 Sects, 18 Skilled, 21 Adapt, 23 Tic, 24 Overtakes, 25 Onrush, 26 Meddle.

Down: 1 Slims, 2 Impress, 3 Chimney, 5 Upset, 6 Sepia, 7 Digress, 8 Downtrodden, 14 Risotto, 15 Startle, 16 Cracked, 19 Incur, 20 Loots, 22 Taste.

Scribble Pad

DOUBLE CROSS-WORD Solve the Double Cross­Word puzzle using either the standard or cryptic clues, the answers are exactly the same.

CRYTPIC CLUES Across 7 Artist to gauge tyre (6) 8 English novelist tunes a convertible (6) 9 Adventure in Dar es Salaam (4) 10 Eva goes out in sleet ­ says it gives her a lift (8) 11 It’s safe to upset Ted when he’s eaten so well (7) 13 Focuses in on medium in menageries (5) 15 Duties thanks to sex reversal (5) 17 Namer of new supervi­ sor (7) 20 Flying body? (8) 21 Materialise over a weaving apparatus (4) 22 Meteor crashing far away (6) 23 Love means nothing for such players (6) STANDARD CLUES Across 7 Relating to the radius (6) 8 English novelist (1775­ 1817) (6) 9 Take a risk (4) 10 Lifts up (8) 11 Dined sumptuously (7) 13 Races (5) 15 Levies (5) 17 Jury leader (7) 20 Central body of an aero­ plane (8) 21 Appear ahead (4) 22 Faraway (6)

Down 1 Staff, with time, succeed (6) 2 This pit belongs to me (4) 3 One taking a nap some­ where along the line (7) 4 Military trainee from Africa detected (5) 5 Alec’s turn to work with energy on the meat (8) 6 Buy back, but firstly reg­ ister every detail, except extra money (6) 12 Leeks cooked with a mass of bones (8) 14 Want verse included in poetry translation (7) 16 Entertained in the morning, then exploited (6) 18 Handsome young man said no, unfortunately (6) 19 Bet with the joker and a queen (5) 21 Advance the chap five hundred (4) 23 Ball game (6) Down 1 Administer (6) 2 Belonging to me (4) 3 Railway track beam (7) 4 Army trainee (5) 5 Thin slice of meat (8) 6 Buy back (6) 12 Framework of bones (8) 14 Destitution (7) 16 Pleasantly occupied (6) 18 Handsome mythical Greek youth (6) 19 Bet (5) 21 Give temporarily (4)

Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Tongue, 4 Madam, 8 Marks, 9 Onerous, 10 Nascent, 11 Opts, 12 Hip, 14 Bard, 15 Army, 18 Yes, 21 Ammo, 23 Trainer, 25 Hastier, 26 Ictus, 27 Wayne, 28 Yearns. Down:: 1 Taming, 2 Nerissa, 3 Unsteady, 4 Meet, 5 Droop, 6 Misuse, 7 Youth, 13 Paradise, 16 Monitor, 17 Cashew, 19 Stern, 20 Wrests, 22 Misty, 24 Give

FILL IT IN

Complete the crossword grid by using the given words:

3 letter words Ado Ear Far Has Lid Oil Sos Ten 4 letter words Acre Adze Ahem Alit Aloe Auto Bass

Bora Dent Edam Even Evil Frau Hint Iris Isle Laos Meme Noel Odds Once Ores Pine Rant Roes Rove

Sash Show Size Span Thee Tree Trim Weed 5 letter words Aegis Afire Aurae Babes Dance Dials Heads Latex Prove

Reset Sales Satin Sigma Silex Slush Sober Start Timer Tinea Tryst 6 letter words Aghast Artier Garish Inform Insane Ranted

Settle Spines Steres Tartar 8 letter words Distichs Resettle 9 letter words Horsetail Tolerance 10 letter words Brassieres Cordiality

SPANISH-ENGLISH CROSSWORD

Improve your Spanish ­ clues in Spanish, answers in English or vice versa.

Across 1 Orejas (4) 4 Entre (más de dos ele­ mentos) (5) 9 Oats (5) 10 Fathers­in­law (7) 11 Southeast (7) 12 Gusto (sentido) (5) 13 Basto (superficie, piel) (6) 15 Scarce (reserves, resources) (6) 18 Carreteras (5) 20 Chestnut (7) 23 Extremo (máximo) (7) 24 Habas (5) 25 Mushrooms (flat­ topped) (5)

26 Royal (4) Down 2 Happiness (7) 3 Asientos (muebles) (5) 4 Respuesta (a pregunta, en examen, test) (6) 5 Listeners (radio) (7) 6 Gérmenes (5) 7 Sombreros (4) 8 Mirror (6) 13 Poster (6) 14 Sospechoso (compor­ tamiento) (7) 16 Air hostess (7) 17 Tornillos (6) 19 Before (5) 21 To know (fats) (5) 22 También (4)

37

Friday, August 8, 2014 Across 1 Refuses to talk or stop talking (5,2) 5 Mixture of dark bitumi­ nous pitch with sand or grav­ el, used for surfacing roads, flooring, roofing, etc (7) 8 Member of a people that travels from place to place to find fresh pasture for its ani­ mals and has no permanent home (5) 9 2002 American crime film directed by Sam Mendes. The plot takes place in 1931, during the Great Depression, following a mob enforcer and his son as they seek vengeance against a mobster who murdered the rest of their family: Road to ­­ ­­­­­­­ (9) 11 In cricket an inferior batsman sent in to bat when a wicket falls just before the end of a day's play, to avoid the dismissal of a better one in adverse (5,8) 13 Descend a rock face or other near­vertical surface by using a doubled rope coiled round the body and fixed at a higher point (6) 16 Person employed to take an actor's place in per­ forming dangerous scenes

(5,3) 18 Position requiring little or no work but giving the holder status or financial benefit (8) 19 Long plank balanced in the middle on a fixed support, on each end of which chil­ dren sit and swing up and down by pushing the ground alternately with their feet (6) 24 Variety of scissors with serrated cutting edges, used to cut fabric (7,6) 26 Lizard of Africa and Madagascar able to change skin colour and having a pro­ jectile tongue (9) 27 English avant­garde synth­pop group formed in early 1983, who have had UK hit singles with Duane Eddy (Peter Gunn), Max Headroom (Paranoimia) and Tom Jones (Kiss): Art of ­­­­­ (5) 28 In medicine, any physi­ cal damage to the body caused by violence, accident or fracture etc (7) 29 Liquorice­flavoured seeds, used medicinally and in cooking and liquors (7) Down 1 NBC television western series that centred on the

SUDOKU (Hard)

Quiz Word

Cartwright family, who lived in the area of Virginia City, Nevada, bordering Lake Tahoe. The series starred Lorne Greene, Pernell

Roberts, Dan Blocker and Michael Landon (7) 2 City in west central France, that was famous in the late Middle Ages for

enamel work, it has been noted since the 18th century for the production of porce­ lain (7) 3 Egyptian statesman who, as president, negotiat­ ed a peace treaty with Menachem Begin, then prime minister of Israel: Anwar ­­­­­ (5) 4 Tall, fast­growing tree of north temperate regions, widely grown in shelter belts and for timber and pulp (6) 5 Extremely wicked or cruel act, typically one involv­ ing physical violence or injury (8) 6 1979 science­fiction hor­ ror film directed by Ridley Scott, starring Tom Skerritt, Sigourney Weaver, Veronica Cartwright, Harry Dean Stanton, John Hurt, Ian Holm and Yaphet Kotto (5) 7 Ballroom dance originat­ ing in Buenos Aires, charac­ terised by marked rhythms and postures and abrupt pauses (5) 10 Extremely large or great, especially in scale or degree (7) 12 Stage name of Irish singer born Rosemary Brown, who won the

Eurovision Song Contest 1970 with All Kinds of Everything (4) 14 In law, the temporary release of an accused per­ son awaiting trial, sometimes on condition that a sum of money is lodged to guaran­ tee their appearance in court (4) 15 Gum, spice or other substance that is burned for the sweet smell it produces (7) 17 Soft sports shoes suit­ able for casual wear (8) 20 Place near the coast, especially a beach area or holiday resort (7) 21 The part of central London containing the main entertainment and shopping areas (4,3) 22 Landlocked republic in eastern Africa that achieved independence from the UK in 1962. Its capital is Kampala (6) 23 Expensive vessel pro­ pelled by sail or power and used for cruising or racing (5) 24 Public square, market­ place or similar open space in a built­up area (5) 25 Capital city of Vietnam (5)

SALLY’S SIMPLE SPANISH

LOS CINCO SENTIDOS Match these words with their Spanish translations then find them in the wordsearch.

(Answers below)

music QUIZ

ANSEWRS 1. Cars 2. Prince 3. A= Ulrika Jonsson 4. Love Me Do 5. Ever Fallen In Love 6. Weather Report 7. Susanna Hoffs 8. Bryan Adams 9. The Boomtown Rats 10. Not Fade Away

Last Week’s Solutions Code Cracker Last weeks Quiz Word Solution Across: 6 Swank, 7 Teletext, 10 Tubular, 11 Shindig, 12 Algebra, 13 Crimson, 14 Secretariat, 19 Earwigs, 21 Divorce, 23 Troikas, 25 Line­out, 26 Aesthete, 27 Aesop.

Down: 1 Cabbages, 2 Skylab, 3 Stargazers, 4 Alms, 5 Exodus, 6 Sat­nav, 8 Tbilisi, 9 Agent, 13 Chandelier, 15 Cricket, 16 Tortoise, 17 Keats, 18 Red top, 20 Rhodes, 22 Vandal, 24 Suet.

el monstro

el castillo

el unicornio

el dragón

el vampiro

el duende

la bruja

el fantasma

la hada

el genio

la magia

el gigante

la momia

el hechizo

la sirena

el hombre-lobo Empareja estas palabras ­ Match the Spanish and English words You will find the answers at the bottom of the quiz.

1.el brujo, 2.el castillo, 3.el dra­

15.la magia, 16.la momia, 17.la

j.the vampire, k.the magic, l.the

gón, 4.el duende, 5.el fantasma,

sirena.

castle, m.the genie, n.the spell,

6.el genio, 7.el gigante, 8.el

a.the dragon, b.the fairy, c.the

o.the mummy, p.the giant, q.the

hechizo, 9.el hombre­lobo, 10.el

ghost, d.the mermaid, e.the uni­

witch

monstro, 11.el unicornio, 12.el

corn, f.the monster, g.the elf,

vampiro, 13.la bruja, 14.la hada,

h.the wizard, i.the werewolf,

Suduko

Span ­ Eng

Quizword

Answers: 1h, 2l, 3ª, 4g, 5c, 6m, 7p, 8n, 9i, 10f, 11e, 12j, 13q, 14b, 15k, 16o, 17d

1. Gary Numan Sang An 80's Hit About Which Mode Of Transport?

2. Who Recorded The Album 'Around The World In A Day'?

3. Eurovision:­ Who Co Hosted With Terry Wogan In Birmingham In 1998 A) Ulrika Jonsson, B) Gloria Hunniford, C) Kelly Brook 4. What was the Beatles' first single in 1962?

5. Which Classic 70's Hit Features The Line 'And If I Start A Commotion I Run The Risk Of Losing You And That's Worse'?

6. Which Band Was Formed In The 1970's By Fomer Miles Davis Band Members Joe Zawinul & Wayne Shorter?

7. Name The Lead Singer With The Bangles?

8. Who Recorded The Album 'Reckless'?

9. Who Had A Top 10 Album In 1981 With 'Mondo Bongo'?

10. Which Buddy Holly song was covered by The Rolling Stones?

el brujo

Fill It In

38

Friday, August 8, 2014

TRELI ON THE TELLY SCANDALOUS FUN

with ALEX TRELINSKI Sky shelled out a load of cash to snatch the political soap, Scandal from the clutches of Channel Four and More Four, who curiously never really gave the drama the recognition or pro­

file it deserved. This is not Fargo or Homeland but a fun hour where you suspend your disbelief in a set of plots that verge on crazy but is very entertaining in a mixture of drama, conspiracy, and the odd laugh. It’s hardly The West Wing or House of Cards, and Sky’s PR crew may have stretched things a wee bit by labelling it as “the most talked­about drama on US TV”, but interestingly for

a third season, it did hit some record­breaking figures for the ABC network. The new third series run, which has just started airing on Sky Living(10 months behind the States), has ex­West House aide and crisis management consultant, Olivia Pope (wonderfully played by Kerry Washington) wriggling off the hook (incredibly) for having an affair with the President, who has other secrets to come out of the closet.

One thing as a Scandal fan that I love, is the unrelenting pace of the show, with something happening every few minutes, and always a big hook in the final scene to have you want­ ing more next week.

Yes, it works to a formu­ la and you can rip apart the plots in seconds, but you don’t know what’s lurking next around the corner, and by gum, it is an entertaining ride!

Everybody’s favourite TV sports broadcaster, Des Lynam, had some interesting things to say about the BBC’s Glasgow 2014 cover­ age in his excellent Daily Telegraph column. The bot­ tom line was to do with too many silly gimmicks (led by a dumbed­down late evening round­up on BBC1) and also not enough good voices leading the commentaries in addition to the plethora of presenters everywhere com­ pared to the days when just Des and Steve Rider shared the duties. I largely agree with his views and also I have a concern about the general TV disease (led by all of the 24 hour news chan­ nels), that there has to be an instant comment and reac­ tion to absolutely everything, even about an obscure weightlifter that nobody could give a proverbial about.

Talk about the BBC bounc­ ing back after the Commonwealth Games with some wonderful program­ ming. I will defend the Beeb to my very last breath, and

you can’t think of any other broadcaster anywhere on this planet who would have run such an extensive sea­ son on The Great War, and then all the high quality cov­ erage of the commemoration ceremonies last Monday. We had a new Kay Mellor drama series, In the Club on Tuesday; The Great British Bake Off on Wednesday; and the return of Who Do You Think You Are? Yesterday evening. That’s serious stuff for the first week of August and so most view­ ers will quickly forgive them for being OTT over Glasgow 2014.

A quick word over the death of broadcaster Mike Smith, at the age of 59.

Besides all his radio work, he was a very good mem­ ber of the BBC’s Breakfast Time presentation team in the eighties, which showed how versatile a broadcaster he was, just as much at home interviewing news­ makers, as playing the lat­ est releases on the Radio 1 Breakfast Show. That’s what I call talented and also having the guts to change tack 25 years ago to con­ centrate on running a busi­ ness, which was a sad loss to broadcasting.

Friday August 8 00:35 Trust the Man 02:15 Holiday Weatherview 02:20 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Heir Hunters 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Don't Get Done, Get Dom 12:45 Saints and Scroungers 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Perfection 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:45 Wanted Down Under 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 The Sheriffs Are Coming 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 Scrappers 22:00 Walter 23:00 BBC News 23:25 National Lottery Update 23:25 BBC Regional News and Weather 23:35 John Bishop Live: Elvis Has Left the Building

00:20 The World's War: Forgotten Soldiers of Empire 01:20 Nick & Margaret: Too Many Immigrants?

02:20 This Is BBC Two 07:05 Homes Under the Hammer

08:05 Wanted Down Under 08:50 Animal Park 09:20 Rip Off Britain: Food 10:05 The Big Allotment Challenge 11:05 First Time on the Front Line 11:35 The Travel Show 12:00 BBC News 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 Life in the Freezer 13:30 Life in the Freezer 14:00 My Life in Books 14:30 Breakaway 15:00 Lust for Life 17:15 Italy Unpacked 18:15 Antiques Roadshow 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Railways of the Great War with Michael Portillo 20:00 The Hairy Bikers' Asian Adventure 21:00 Mastermind 21:30 Sweets Made Simple 22:00 The Great British Bake Off: An Extra Slice 22:30 Gardeners' World 23:00 Edinburgh Nights with Sue Perkins 23:30 Newsnight

00:40 01:30 04:00 04:25 05:15 06:05 07:00 09:30 10:25 11:30 13:30 Mel 14:30 14:55 14:55 15:00 16:00 16:59 17:00 18:00 19:00 19:30 20:00 20:30 21:00 21:30 22:00 23:00 23:30 23:30 23:40

The Chase Jackpot247 Tonight ITV Nightscreen Britain's Best Bakery The Jeremy Kyle Show Good Morning Britain Lorraine The Jeremy Kyle Show This Morning Let's Do Lunch with Gino & ITV News and Weather ITV Meridian Weather ITV News Meridian The Speakmans Secret Dealers ITV Meridian Weather Tipping Point The 21st Question ITV News Meridian ITV News and Weather Emmerdale Coronation Street The Dales Coronation Street Doc Martin ITV News at Ten and Weather ITV Meridian Weather ITV News Meridian Duplicity

THE SHERIFFS ARE COMING A Midlands salon manager was unfairly dismissed for being pregnant but her boss is not paying up, so sheriff Darryl Oreton tries to recoup the £26,000 the court says she is owed. Enforcement officers Lawrence and Kev visit the garage where a pup­ peteer bought a van that broke down just days after she drove it away, and Craig and Tom face a difficult confrontation in a convenience store.

00:05 01:05 02:05 03:00 03:55 04:25 04:55 05:50 06:00 07:00 07:45 08:10 08:35 09:00 10:00 10:30 11:00 12:00 12:30 13:00 13:05 14:40 15:40 16:30 17:30 18:00 19:00 19:30 20:00 21:00 22:00 23:00 23:50

Child Genius One Born Every Minute Embarrassing Bodies Born in the Wild Food Unwrapped Dispatches Phil Spencer: Secret Agent Kirstie's Handmade Treasures Swimming Countdown 3rd Rock from the Sun 3rd Rock from the Sun The King of Queens Everybody Loves Raymond Frasier Frasier The Big Bang Theory Come Dine with Me Come Dine with Me Channel 4 News Summary Come Dine with Me Four in a Bed Countdown Deal or No Deal Win It Cook It Couples Come Dine with Me The Simpsons Hollyoaks Channel 4 News The Million Pound Drop The Singer Takes It All The Last Leg Virtually Famous

00:00 Big Brother's Bit on the Side 01:00 SuperCasino 04:10 On the Yorkshire Buses 05:00 Wildlife SOS 05:20 Divine Designs 05:45 House Doctor 06:10 House Doctor 06:35 Michaela's Wild Challenge 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Peppa Pig 08:00 Pip Ahoy!

08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Little Princess 09:10 Peppa Pig 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 The World's Scariest Drivers 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 After All These Years 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 Cricket 2014 21:00 On the Yorkshire Buses 22:00 Big Brother 23:35 Big Brother's Bit on the Side

39

Friday, August 8, 2014

Saturday August 9 00:45 EastEnders 03:10 Weather for the Week Ahead 03:15 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 11:00 Saturday Kitchen Live 12:30 The Great British Bake Off 13:30 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:15 Escape to the Country 15:00 Live Challenge Cup Rugby League 17:30 Final Score 18:20 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 18:40 Pointless Celebrities 19:30 Tumble 21:00 The National Lottery: Break the Safe 21:50 Casualty 22:40 Mrs Brown's Boys 23:10 National Lottery Update 23:10 BBC News; Weather 23:30 Michael McIntyre's Showtime

00:00 Weather 00:05 The Lady 02:10 The Fifteen Billion Pound Railway 03:10 This Is BBC Two 07:25 The Falcon and the Co­Eds 08:30 The Falcon Out West

09:35 The Living Planet 10:30 Sweets Made Simple 11:00 Railways of the Great War with Michael Portillo 11:30 Railways of the Great War with Michael Portillo 12:00 Railways of the Great War with Michael Portillo 12:30 Railways of the Great War with Michael Portillo 13:00 Railways of the Great War with Michael Portillo 13:30 Rick Stein's India 14:30 Talking Pictures 15:05 We Dive at Dawn 16:40 Flog It! 17:00 Natural World 18:00 Live Cycling 19:00 Great War Diaries 20:00 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip 21:00 Dad's Army 21:30 Proms Extra 22:15 Melvyn Bragg's Radical Lives 23:15 QI XL

01:55 Jackpot247 04:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 04:40 ITV Nightscreen 07:00 Pat & Stan 07:25 Dino Dan 07:50 Canimals 08:05 Sooty 08:15 Nerds & Monsters 08:40 Mr Bean: The Animated Series 08:55 Chowder 09:25 ITV News 09:30 Weekend 10:25 The Hungry Sailors 11:25 Murder, She Wrote: the Last Free Man 13:15 ITV News and Weather 13:20 Storage Hoarders 14:20 The Unforgettable 15:20 60 Minute Makeover 16:25 All Star Mr & Mrs 17:25 HouseSitter 19:20 ITV Meridian Weather 19:30 ITV News and Weather 19:45 You've Been Framed!

20:45 Tipping Point: Lucky Stars 21:45 All Star Family Fortunes 22:45 Star Wars Episode IV: a New Hope 23:40 ITV News and Weather 23:55 Star Wars Episode IV: a New Hope

00:40 The Dilemma 02:30 Derek 03:00 The Inbetweeners USA 03:25 Desperate Housewives 04:05 Revenge 04:50 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 05:45 How to Cook Like Heston 06:10 Deal or No Deal 06:35 Kirstie's Handmade Treasures 06:45 The Hoobs 07:05 Trans World Sport 08:00 Motorcycling 09:00 The Morning Line 10:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:25 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:55 Frasier 11:25 Frasier 11:55 The Big Bang Theory 12:20 The Big Bang Theory 12:45 The Simpsons 13:10 The Simpsons 13:40 Speed with Guy Martin 14:40 Channel 4 Racing 17:10 Come Dine with Me 19:40 Channel 4 News 20:05 Amazing Spaces Shed of the Year 21:00 Grand Designs 22:00 Immortals

STAR WARS EPISODE IV Science­fiction fantasy adventure starring Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford and Carrie Fisher. In a galaxy far, far away, Princess Leia is captured by Darth Vader while trying to steal the plans of the evil Empire's new secret weapon. Meanwhile, on the desert planet of Tatooine, young Luke Skywalker discovers her plight and, in the company of two robots and former Jedi Knight Obi­Wan Kenobi,

00:35 Stand by Your Man 01:15 SuperCasino 04:10 Big Brother 05:20 Divine Designs 05:45 House Doctor 06:10 House Doctor 06:35 Michaela's Wild Challenge 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Abby's Flying Fairy School 07:25 Bubble Guppies 07:35 The Mr Men Show 07:50 Chloe's Closet 08:00 Roobarb and Custard Too 08:10 Bananas in Pyjamas 08:20 Make Way for Noddy 08:35 City of Friends 08:55 Little Princess 09:05 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:25 Angelina Ballerina 09:40 Rupert Bear 09:55 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:15 Jelly Jamm 10:30 LazyTown 11:00 Access 11:10 Meerkat Manor 11:40 Police Interceptors 12:40 Ultimate Police Interceptors 13:40 Rocky IV 15:30 Any Which Way You Can 17:40 The Sea Wolves 20:00 Cricket 2014 21:00 World's Worst Storms 21:55 5 News Weekend 22:00 Big Brother 23:00 Dangerous Dog Owners & Proud

Sunday August 10 07:00 Countryfile 01:30 The Cube 02:20 Jackpot247 04:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 04:40 ITV Nightscreen 07:00 Pat & Stan 07:10 Pat & Stan 07:20 Pat & Stan 07:25 Dino Dan 07:35 Dino Dan 07:50 Canimals 07:55 Canimals 08:05 Sooty 08:15 Nerds & Monsters 08:25 Nerds & Monsters 08:40 Mr Bean: The Animated Series 08:55 Chowder 09:10 Chowder 09:25 ITV News 09:30 Weekend 10:25 May the Best House Win 11:25 Murder, She Wrote 12:20 ITV News and Weather 12:29 ITV Meridian Weather 12:30 Love Your Garden 13:30 Long Lost Family 14:30 Columbo: Troubled Waters 16:30 Midsomer Murders 18:35 Tipping Point 19:30 ITV Meridian Weather 19:30 ITV News Meridian 19:45 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Come On Down! The Game Show Story 21:00 The Zoo 22:00 The Great War: The People's Story 23:00 ITV News and Weather 23:14 ITV Meridian Weather 23:15 Kids with Cameras

00:30 The Football League Show

08:00 Alan Titchmarsh's Garden

01:50 Weather for the Week

Secrets

Ahead

09:00 Gardeners' World

01:55 BBC News

09:30 The Beechgrove Garden

07:00 Breakfast

10:00 The Football League Show

11:00 Sunday Morning Live

11:20 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites

12:00 Homes Under the Hammer

12:50 Rick Stein's India

13:00 Bargain Hunt

13:50 Firecreek

14:00 BBC News

15:30 Live Challenge Cup Rugby

14:10 Weather for the Week

League

Ahead

18:00 Songs of Praise

14:15 Escape to the Country

18:35 Flog It!

15:00 Live Cycling

19:00 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip

19:35 BBC News; Regional News

20:00 Tropic of Capricorn

and Weather

21:00 Dragons' Den

20:00 Antiques Roadshow

22:00 James May's Cars of the

21:00 Countryfile

People

22:00 The Village

23:00 Legacy

23:00 BBC News; Regional News

TOMS FANTASTIC FLOATING HOME

and Weather 23:25 Match of the Day

00:00 Seraphim Falls 01:45 Mother's Boys 03:15 This Is BBC Two

Inventor Tom Lawton works tirelessly to complete his floating home before taking it for a maiden voy­ age down the river. This time he turns his creative imagination to rest and relaxation by reimagining the sofa as a stargazing seating area, bringing light below deck with a fibre­optic solar jellyfish, and making an inflatable bed out of tennis balls. Last in the series.

00:10 Sweeney Todd: the Demon Barber of Fleet Street 02:15 The Last Leg 03:00 Utopia 03:55 Homeland 05:00 Hollyoaks 07:10 How I Met Your Mother 07:35 How I Met Your Mother 08:00 Caterham UK Racing 08:30 Triathlon 09:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 10:30 Sunday Brunch 13:30 George Clarke's Amazing Spaces 14:30 The Big Bang Theory 15:00 The Big Bang Theory 15:25 The Simpsons 15:55 The Simpsons 16:25 Step Up 3 18:35 Deal or No Deal 19:30 Channel 4 News 20:00 Tom's Fantastic Floating Home 21:00 The Mill 22:00 Child Genius 23:00 The Eagle

00:05 Big Brother's Bit on the Psych 01:00 SuperCasino 04:10 Big Brother 05:00 House Doctor 05:25 Make It Big 05:50 Make It Big 06:15 Angels of Jarm 06:25 Angels of Jarm 06:35 Angels of Jarm 06:40 Roary the Racing Car 06:50 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Abby's Flying Fairy School 07:25 Bubble Guppies 07:35 The Mr Men Show 07:50 Chloe's Closet 08:00 Roobarb and Custard Too 08:10 Bananas in Pyjamas 08:25 Make Way for Noddy 08:35 City of Friends 08:50 Little Princess 09:00 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:15 Olly the Little White Van 09:20 Angelina Ballerina 09:35 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 09:40 Rupert Bear 09:55 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:15 Jelly Jamm 10:30 LazyTown 11:00 Access 11:10 Police Interceptors 12:10 Police Interceptors 13:10 Police Interceptors 14:10 Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol 15:55 Baby Boom 18:05 The Water Horse 20:00 Cricket 2014 20:55 5 News Weekend 21:00 Caught with Their Fingers in the Till 22:00 Big Brother 23:00 Killers

40

Friday, August 8, 2014

Monday August 11 00:10 Live at the Apollo 00:40 Annapolis 02:15 Weather for the Week Ahead 02:20 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Neighbourhood Blues 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Animal Saints and Sinners 12:45 Real Lives Reunited 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Perfection 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:30 The Hairy Bikers' Bakeation 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 BBC News; Regional News 20:30 Fake Britain 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 Miranda 22:00 Death in Paradise 23:00 BBC News 23:25 BBC Regional News and Weather 23:35 Have I Got a Bit More News for You

00:30 02:05 03:00 04:00 07:05

The Trench Countryfile Holby City This Is BBC Two Homes Under the Hammer

08:05 Wanted Down Under 08:50 Animal Park 09:20 Rip Off Britain: Food 00:15 Premiership Rugby 7s Series 10:05 Operation Cloud Lab: Secrets 01:15 The Store 03:15 Motorsport UK of the Skies 04:10 British Superbike 11:05 Animal SOS Championship Highlights 11:35 Click 05:05 Britain's Best Bakery 12:00 BBC News 05:55 ITV Nightscreen 12:30 BBC World News 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 13:00 Climbing Great Buildings 07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 13:30 My Life in Books 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 14:00 Cash in the Attic 11:30 This Morning 14:30 Breakaway 13:30 The Chase 15:15 Italy Unpacked 14:30 ITV News and Weather 16:15 Natural World 14:55 ITV Meridian Weather 14:55 ITV News Meridian 17:15 Great Continental Railway 15:00 Judge Rinder Journeys 16:00 Secret Dealers 18:15 Antiques Roadshow 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 19:00 Eggheads 17:00 Tipping Point 19:30 Eggheads 18:00 The 21st Question 20:00 The Hairy Bikers' Asian 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather Adventure 20:00 Emmerdale 21:00 University Challenge 20:30 Coronation Street 21:30 Food & Drink 21:00 Countrywise 22:00 Kate Adie's Women of World 21:30 Coronation Street War One 22:00 Long Lost Family 23:00 The Sarah Millican Television 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV Meridian Weather Programme 23:30 ITV News Meridian 23:30 Weather 23:40 The Zoo 23:30 Newsnight

01:15 Red Cliff 03:40 First Time Farmers 04:35 The Million Pound Drop 05:30 Deal or No Deal 06:25 Gordon Ramsay's Home Cooking 06:50 River Cottage Bites 07:00 Countdown 07:45 3rd Rock from the Sun 08:10 3rd Rock from the Sun 08:35 The King of Queens 09:00 Swimming 10:00 Frasier 10:30 Frasier 11:00 The Big Bang Theory 11:30 The Big Bang Theory 12:00 Come Dine with Me 12:30 Come Dine with Me 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Come Dine with Me 13:35 Come Dine with Me 14:05 Come Dine with Me 14:40 Four in a Bed 15:40 Countdown 16:30 Deal or No Deal 17:30 Win It Cook It 18:00 Couples Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 Dispatches 21:30 Food Unwrapped 22:00 Royal Marines Commando School 23:00 Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares USA

POLICE INTERCEPTORS

A case of drink­driving leads to a hot pursuit on the city streets and carnage on the country roads, while a routine stop for speeding gives an officer a worry­ ing surprise. As devastating storms batter the UK, the helicopter crew is called out to rescue a woman trapped by deadly rising river water.

01:00 Shoplifters and Proud 02:00 SuperCasino 04:10 World's 05:00 House Doctor 05:25 Make It Big 05:50 Make It Big 06:15 Angels of Jarm 06:25 Angels of Jarm 06:35 Angels of Jarm 06:40 Roary the Racing Car 06:50 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Peppa Pig 08:00 Pip Ahoy!

08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Little Princess 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:30 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 The Dog Rescuers 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 A Nanny's Secret 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 Cricket 2014 21:00 Police Interceptors 22:00 Big Brother 23:00 70 Stone: The Man They Couldn't Save

Tuesday August 12 23:35 Scrappers 00:20 Who Do You Think You Are? 01:20 Weather for the Week Ahead 01:25 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Neighbourhood Blues 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Animal Saints and Sinners 12:45 Real Lives Reunited 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Perfection 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:30 The Hairy Bikers' Bakeation 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 BBC News; Regional News 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 Holby City 22:00 In the Club 23:00 BBC News 23:25 National Lottery Update 23:25 BBC Regional News and Weather

00:20 Dragons' Den 01:20 University Challenge: Class of 2014 02:20 This Is BBC Two 07:15 Homes Under the Hammer 08:15 Rip Off Britain: Food 09:00 The Food Inspectors 10:00 Live Athletics 14:00 My Life in Books 14:30 Breakaway 15:15 Cash in the Attic 15:45 Natural World 16:45 Great Continental Railway Journeys 17:45 Live Athletics 21:30 Coast 22:30 Scotland Votes: What's at Stake for the UK? 23:30 Weather 23:30 Newsnight

00:40 All Star Family Fortunes 01:35 Jackpot247 04:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 04:40 ITV Nightscreen 05:15 Britain's Best Bakery 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 The Chase 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV Meridian Weather 14:55 ITV News Meridian 15:00 Judge Rinder 16:00 Secret Dealers 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The 21st Question 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Ade at Sea 21:00 Love Your Garden 22:00 Executed 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV Meridian Weather 23:30 ITV News Meridian 23:40 The Chase

EXECUTED In the summer of 1964, the last two men to be hanged in Britain were executed, simultaneously, in Liverpool and Manchester. Fifty years on, this documentary revisits the stories of those sen­ tenced to death by the state ­ some guilty, some innocent ­ hearing from their relatives and people who witnessed the final days of capital punish­ ment. In 1950, Timothy Evans of Notting Hill was sent to the gallows for the murder of his wife and baby daughter. His sister Maureen Westlake describes the tragedy of her brother.

00:00 01:00 01:25 03:20 04:05 04:50 05:45 06:00 07:00 07:45 08:10 08:35 09:00 09:30 10:00 10:30 11:00 11:30 12:00 12:30 13:00 13:05 13:35 14:05 14:40 15:40 16:30 17:30 18:00 19:00 19:30 20:00 21:00 Free 22:00 23:00

Embarrassing Bodies The Shooting Gallery Like Someone in Love Scandal Revenge Phil Spencer: Secret Agent River Cottage Bites Swimming Countdown 3rd Rock from the Sun 3rd Rock from the Sun The King of Queens Everybody Loves Raymond Everybody Loves Raymond Frasier Frasier The Big Bang Theory The Big Bang Theory Come Dine with Me Come Dine with Me Channel 4 News Summary Come Dine with Me Come Dine with Me Come Dine with Me Four in a Bed Countdown Deal or No Deal Win It Cook It Couples Come Dine with Me The Simpsons Hollyoaks Channel 4 News Kirstie's Fill Your House for Undercover Boss Utopia

00:00 Big Brother's Bit on the Side 01:00 Autopsy: The Last Hours Of 02:00 SuperCasino 04:10 Under the Dome 05:00 Wildlife SOS 05:20 Divine Designs 05:45 House Doctor 06:10 House Doctor 06:35 Michaela's Wild Challenge 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Peppa Pig 08:00 Pip Ahoy!

08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Little Princess 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:30 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 World's Worst Storms 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 A Surrogate's Terror 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 Henry VIII & Anne: The Lovers Who Changed History 21:00 The Dog Rescuers 22:00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 23:00 Big Brother

41

Friday, August 8, 2014

Wednesday August 13 00:05 Scrappers 00:35 Operation Wild 01:35 Weather for the Week Ahead 01:40 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Neighbourhood Blues 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Animal Saints and Sinners 12:45 Real Lives Reunited 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Perfection 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:30 The Hairy Bikers' Bakeation 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 BBC News; Regional News 20:30 Fake Britain 21:00 The Great British Bake Off 22:00 Operation Wild 23:00 BBC News 23:25 National Lottery Update 23:25 BBC Regional News and Weather 23:35 A Question of Sport

00:40 Tales from Northumberland with Robson Green 01:20 Hive Alive 01:05 Jackpot247 04:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 02:20 This Is BBC Two 04:40 ITV Nightscreen 07:15 Homes Under the Hammer 05:15 Britain's Best Bakery 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 08:15 Rip Off Britain: Food 07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:00 Talk to the Animals 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:00 Live Athletics 11:30 This Morning 13:00 Sharpay's Fabulous 13:30 The Chase Adventure 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV Meridian Weather 14:30 Breakaway 14:55 ITV News Meridian 15:15 Cash in the Attic 15:00 Judge Rinder 16:00 Secret Dealers 15:45 Natural World 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 16:45 Great Continental Railway 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The 21st Question Journeys 19:00 ITV News Meridian 17:45 Live Athletics 19:30 ITV News and Weather 22:00 The World's War: Forgotten 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street Soldiers of Empire 21:00 100 Year Old Drivers 23:00 Backchat with Jack Whitehall 22:00 Secrets from the Clink 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather and His Dad 23:30 ITV Meridian Weather 23:30 Weather 23:30 ITV News Meridian 23:40 Dangerous Dogs 23:30 Newsnight 00:20 The Stuarts

00:05 Royal Marines Commando School 01:05 Poker 02:00 KOTV Boxing Weekly 02:30 Motorcycling 03:25 Triathlon 04:20 Caterham UK Racing 04:45 Trans World Sport 05:40 Deal or No Deal 06:35 Gordon Ramsay's Home Cooking 07:00 Countdown 07:45 3rd Rock from the Sun 08:35 The King of Queens 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 11:00 The Big Bang Theory 12:00 Come Dine with Me 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Come Dine with Me 14:40 Four in a Bed 15:40 Countdown 16:30 Deal or No Deal 17:30 Win It Cook It 18:00 Couples Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 Sarah Beeny's Double Your House for Half the Money 22:00 One Born Every Minute 23:00 The Mimic 23:30 8 Out of 10 Cats

THE GREAT BRITISH BAKE OFF

Having shown they have what it takes to bake a cake or two, the 11 remaining contestants turn their attention to biscuits. First up they create signature savoury crackers for cheese, and are encouraged to push the flavour. In the technical challenge, they have to prepare Mary Berry's Florentines, with their chewy caramel sauce and brandy­snap texture, before ending with a show­ stopper like no other ­ three­dimensional scenes made entirely from biscuits.

00:00 Big Brother's Bit on the Side 01:00 Dangerous Dog Owners & Proud 02:00 SuperCasino 04:05 Wentworth Prison 05:00 Wildlife SOS 05:20 Divine Designs 05:45 House Doctor 06:10 House Doctor 06:35 House Doctor 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Peppa Pig 08:00 Pip Ahoy!

08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Little Princess 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 On the Yorkshire Buses 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 The Hollywood Mom's Mystery 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 Ultimate Police Interceptors 21:00 Emergency Bikers 22:00 Grand Theft Auto: UK 23:00 Big Brother

Thursday August 14 00:05 The League Cup Show 01:10 Weather for the Week Ahead 01:15 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Neighbourhood Blues 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Animal Saints and Sinners 12:45 Real Lives Reunited 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 BBC Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Perfection 16:00 Escape to the Country 16:30 The Hairy Bikers' Bakeation 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Weather 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 BBC News; Regional News

00:20 Kate Adie's Women of World War One 01:20 The Trouble with Mobility Scooters 02:10 This Is BBC Two 07:15 Homes Under the Hammer 08:15 Rip Off Britain: Food 09:00 Escape to the Continent 10:00 Live Athletics 12:45 Sydney White 14:30 Breakaway 15:15 Cash in the Attic 16:00 Natural World 17:00 Great Continental Railway Journeys 18:00 Live Athletics 22:00 The Honourable Woman 23:00 QI 23:30 Weather 23:30 Newsnight

00:40 Off the Beaten Track 01:05 Jackpot247 04:00 British Touring Car Championship Highlights 05:15 Britain's Best Bakery 06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 The Chase 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 ITV Meridian Weather 14:55 ITV News Meridian 15:00 Judge Rinder 16:00 Secret Dealers 16:59 ITV Meridian Weather 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The 21st Question 19:00 ITV News Meridian 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Tonight 21:00 Emmerdale 21:30 Harbour Lives 22:00 Kids with Cameras: Diary of a Children's Ward 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 ITV Meridian Weather 23:30 ITV News Meridian 23:40 100 Year Old Drivers

KIDS WITH CAMERAS

20:30 EastEnders 21:00 The Sheriffs Are Coming 22:00 Who Do You Think You Are? 23:00 BBC News 23:25 BBC Regional News and Weather 23:35 Motorway Cops

Continuing the series in which youngsters aged six to 16 film their experiences as patients at Newcastle's Great North Children's Hospital. Shane, 12, is recover­ ing from a stroke caused by a freak football accident, while nine­year­old Hannah records her video diary as she receives treatment for juvenile arthritis. Eight­year­ old Matthew, who has Duchenne muscular dystrophy, takes part in a medical trial with the aim of improving his symptoms, and is determined to enjoy life to the full..

00:35 Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares USA 01:25 The Wall 03:10 Remember Me 05:00 Revenge 05:40 Gordon Ramsay's Home Cooking 06:05 Deal or No Deal 07:00 Countdown 07:45 3rd Rock from the Sun 08:10 3rd Rock from the Sun 08:35 The King of Queens 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 10:30 Frasier 11:00 The Big Bang Theory 11:30 The Big Bang Theory 12:00 Come Dine with Me 12:30 Come Dine with Me 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Come Dine with Me 13:35 Come Dine with Me 14:05 Come Dine with Me 14:40 Four in a Bed 15:40 Countdown 16:30 Deal or No Deal 17:30 Win It Cook It 18:00 Couples Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 Location, Location, Location 22:00 Embarrassing Bodies 23:00 First Time Farmers

00:00 Big Brother's Bit on the Side 01:00 SuperCasino 04:05 Countdown to Murder 05:00 Wildlife SOS 05:20 Divine Designs 05:45 House Doctor 06:10 House Doctor 06:35 House Doctor 07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 07:10 Igam Ogam 07:20 Fireman Sam 07:35 The WotWots 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 Peppa Pig 08:00 Pip Ahoy!

08:10 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:20 The Mr Men Show 08:35 Thomas & Friends 08:50 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Little Princess 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Emergency Bikers 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 Reverse Angle 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 Caught with Their Fingers in the Till 21:00 Countdown to Murder 22:00 The Last Secrets of 9/11 23:00 Big Brother

42

Friday, August 8, 2014

AUCTIONS

ACCOUNTANTS Pro Business Support – for all your accountancy needs in English; bookkeep­ ing, taxes, wage slips and more. We cater for compa­ nies and self­employed peo­ ple; we can deal with every­ thing for you. Call us on 966 923 963 for first consultation free of charge.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS

BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY

leasehold restaurant has a fully fitted modern kitchen, disabled facilities and a fresh recently painted interi­ or. directbusinessbrokers .com Tel 966 44 33 81 Ref. DB6435L 97,000€ Large successfully run leasehold Beauty Salon near Quesada. Spacious salon with 7 rooms and rental income from separate hair salon. All fitness machines, treatment beds and tables included in the sale. directbusinessbro­ kers.com Tel 966 44 33 81 Ref. DB6457L 42,000€ Excellent opportunity to pur­ chase a well established and thriving leasehold Bar/Cafeteria in a central

location in Torrevieja.

Beautiful established garden and south west facing ter­ race with BBQ and all year round trade. directbusiness­ brokers.com Tel 966 44 33 81 Ref. DB6456L 20,000€ Lively, popular leasehold Bar & Restaurant in a lovely position on La Manga over­ looking the port. Fully fitted kitchen and extensive sunny terraces. Freehold also available for purchase and flat above the premises. directbusinessbrokers.com Tel 966 44 33 81 Ref. DB6455L 150,000€ Profitable leasehold Café Bar, competitively priced for quick sale. Air conditioned interior with stylish decor and large terraces. Multiple income streams: food, drink, internet facilities, games and ice cream. Offering great potential for further growth. directbusinessbrokers.com Tel 966 44 33 81 Ref. DB6446L 74,950€ Beautifully presented lease­

CHURCH SERVICES hold Garden Furniture Business, recently reduced in price. A successful and easy to run business with established website, signifi­ cant internet sales, cus­ tomer database and excel­ lent reputation locally. direct­ businessbrokers.com Tel 966 44 33 81 BUSINESS OPPORTUNI­ TY, two clothing shops for sale either as a pair or sep­ arate, both trading, sold fully equipped and stocked, a great opportunity for some­ one wanting their own busi­ ness, for more comprehen­ sive information contact Glen on 606926437 (164)

AUTO ENGINEERING

BLINDS BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES Ref. DB6460L 85,000€ Restaurant in enviable loca­ tion with no local competi­ tion and regular clientele.

This profitable, established

CATERING

Torrevieja Christian Fellowship at Avenida de las Cortes Valencianas 68, Torrevieja 03183, welcome residents and visitors alike, to their friendly and lively 10.30 am. Service each Sunday morning.

During the month of August they will not be holding the Wednesday night meeting at 6.00 pm. For further infor­ mation and/or directions please telephone 966700391 or visit our web­ site on www.tcf­spain.org."

International Christian Assembly, Calle Pilar de Horadada 5, Torrevieja.

Evangelical non­denomina­ tional church. Sunday serv­

CARPENTER

ices 11am.

Children's church 11am. House groups in Torrevieja, Los Balcones, San Javier. Ladies meeting Thursdays 11am. Craft club, Tuesdays, 2pm.

Pastor, Rafael Restrepo. All nation­ alities welcome. Call 966 799 273 or 660 127 276.

Pilar Christian Community Church Calle Canalejas 3.

Pilar de la Horadada.

Sunday Service at 11am, and Thursday at 5pm for Prayer and Praise and Worship. Home groups meet during the week. All welcome from any church background or none. For further information contact PilarChristian.CommunityC hurch@gmail.com 968575417 or 966848806.

Reg No:2009­SG/A The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (Mormons) meet at 10.00 each Sunday at their Torrevieja meetinghouse in the Torreaguas building on the corner of Rambla Juan Mateo Garcia 104, close to the windmill in Torrevieja, 667 533 597.

The rainbow centre for spiri­ tual awareness We meet in

BARBER

CONSTRUCTION

ALARMS

CLEANERS

43

Friday, August 8, 2014 the function room at sacos bar el leiminar just of the CV 905 Rojales to torrievieja road We have a divine serv­ ice on Sundays at 11am and on Wednesdays we hold an evening of clairvoyance at 7.30 pm Also on Wednesdays there is an open circle at 5.30 for those who are interested in clair­ voyance Healing is always available by certified healers after each meeting A warm welcome to friends old and new The mediums for the month of July 2014 are

GARDENER

Wednesdays 2nd Debbie Blevins 9th Belinda & Jill 16th Trish and Shirley 23rd Sammy Fitzsimons 30th Paul & jennet. Closed until august 31st then Belinda & Sandra. Sundays 6th Paul & jennet 13th Belinda Bradley 20th ray bailey 27th Trish.

For further information call Trish on 966 844 795 or Email the rainbowcentre­ costablana@gmail.com

CARS FOR SALE Car insurance quotes – new extra discount on fully comprehensive policies at the price of third party!

Excellent prices for expats, all policies and call centre staff in English. We will call you back with a quote. 966 923 963

INSURANCE CASER SEGUROS your insurance home, car, health, Policies available in

CAR BREAKERS

­ for all needs, funeral.

English

Ref: 112, Spacious 3 bed­ room detached villa with its private pool is located on the El Raso urbanisation near Guardamar. Convenient for all amenities, shops, super­ market, restaurants and bars. Short term rental avail­ able. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 and German.

Call Professional Business Support on 966 923 963 for a quick quote from our friendly staff.

GUITAR LESSONS Guitar lessons for beginners and improvers. Provide an insight into most styles.

From 10€ per hour. Call Peter on 966789612 or 629975378. Torrvieja

LONG TERM RENTALS Viva Villa and Vacation Services, For Short or Long Term Rentals visit: www.vil­ laandvacation.com or Call:

965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Santiago de la Ribera 2 bed­ room townhouse close to beach and shops with com­ munal pool €350 monthly short or long term lease Call 0044 7890996330 ­ 968570645 (162) Ref: 61, A lovely two bed­ roomed ground floor apart­ ment, located in the centre of the small Spanish town of Los Montesinos, With a pleasant communal swim­ ming pool adjacent & all amenities in walking dis­ tance. Long and short term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

PROPERTY FOR RENT WANTED! Properties, all types, in the Torrevieja area wanted for long term rentals.

Call us on 96 692 3963 2 or 3 bed / 2 bath apart­ ments in San Miguel. Lift, communal rooftop pool & solarium, video entry sys­ tem. Available for short or long term rent from 350 pcm. Tel 966723437 or 616 493 487. (184)

PROPERTY FOR SALE BPP­1808 230,000€ ­ 3 BEDROOM DETACHED HOUSE FOR SALE in LOS MONTISINOS, ALICANTE, SPAIN TEL: 966443381

UPHOLSTERY CLEANING

DRAINAGE PETS

44

Friday, August 8, 2014

BPP1804 3 bedroom detached villa a spacious family Villa Torrevieja For Sale fully furnished 240,000€ Tel: 966 44 33 81 BPP2896 Old style spanish 4 bedroom detached Monte Zenia property reasonably priced 175,000€ Tel: 966 44 33 81 BPP2897 3 BEDROOM SEMI­DETACHED HOUSE FOR SALE Aguas Nuevas 193,000€ Tel: 966 44 33 81 BPP2898 2 BEDROOM BUNGALOW FOR SALE Aguas Nuevas 125,000€ Tel: 966 44 33 81 BPP2901 2 Bedroom apart­ ment Aguas Nuevas 73,000€ Tel: 966 44 33 81 BPP2906 Large 3 BED­ ROOM BUNGALOW FOR SALE Aguas Nuevas 135,000€ Tel: 966 44 33 81 BPP 2907 Exceptional value 2 BEDROOM APARTMENT FOR SALE €49,950 Tel: 966 44 33 81 BPP2908 Excellent location 3 BEDROOM DETACHED HOUSE FOR SALE Villamartin €269,000 Tel: 966 44 33 81 BPP2903 Huge Executive 3 BEDROOM APARTMENT FOR SALE Los Montesinos €165,000 Tel: 966 44 33 81 BPP2899 2 BEDROOM BUNGALOW FOR SALE Torrevieja 59,000€ Tel: 966 44 33 81 Ref: KP3100, €183,000.

Three bedroom, two bath­ room detached villa, located in San Luis, on a 450sqm plot, with communal pool.

Garage to side of house.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Immaculate ground floor Duplex, 2 beds, 2 bath, Private Parking, Situated in Novamar, Gran Alacant.

Price includes very tasteful furniture and white goods.

Walking distance to all local amenities and beach. Now only 129,750 euros. Ref No K24. 627 711 155 2 Bed, 1 Bath Ground floor duplex. Central heating, Grills, Fully furnished, Glazed in Galleria, 2 com­ munal pools, private parking and walking distance to the Gran Alacant commercial centre. Situated in the popu­ lar urbanisation of Puerto Marino. Now only 96,500 euros for quick sale Ref No. K46. 627 711 155 Recently reduced 4 Bed, 3 Bath Villa, in Gran Alacant.

Quiet Location, Exceptional Views. Converted Under build, 2 Lounges, 2 Kitchens, Private Garage and being sold Fully Furnished, now only 239.950 Ref: L81 Tel. 680333242 Gran Alacant Detached villa, located in a very sought after location.Situated on a 560m2 S/W facing plot and constructed in 2005.

Comprising of 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms (2 full baths), Lounge­Diner, fully equipped Kitchen, Porch and Solarium with Alicante & Sea Views. ref.L81. €258,000 neg.

Tel. 680333242 Gran Alacant Town House with a difference.

2 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, Glazed in Porch, Quiet Location, Extra storage areas, and South Facing Private Pool as well as 2 communal pools. Fully Furnished, All mod cons.

Greenland Views and all local amenities close by.

Ref. No L79. 179.000 euros 680 333 242 2 Bedroom, 2 Bathroom, Unfurnished Mid Terraced Townhouse in GA. Recently decorated throughout

PLUMBERS

POOL TABLES

means this property is a very clean black canvass.

Has Air­Con & Security Grills and the use of a Communal Pool. Price recently reduced to 110.000e Ref.K12 Tel. 627711155 Reduced for a quick sale to 95.000 e 2 Bedroom, 1 bath­ room, Top Floor Duplex in Gran Alacant. Very Modern Property with Many extras.

Glazed in Porch, Roof Top Solarium, Wooden Flooring.

Immaculate condition and ready to move in. Ref. K15 Tel. 627711155.

Gran Alacant, Situated in the "Alto" part of Gran Alacant, this 3 bedroomed, 4th floor apartment, offers luxury accommodation, with absolutely stunning sea views, as well as views of Alicante bay and the famous Santa Barbara Castle.The apartment is 89 square meters with open plan kitchen / living room and includes all electrical appli­ ances & furniture also there is a utility room, open ter­ race, and private parking.

The urbanisation also offers many communal pools, ten­ nis courts, restaurants and

REMOVALS

bars. Ref. K20 €109,000 Tel 680333242 Viva Villa and Vacation Services are pleased to offer property sales for the Torrevieja and Oriheula areas of the Costa Blanca, Spain. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 or Visit : www.villaandvacation.com Gran Alacant villa located in a very quiet area , situated at the end of a cul­de­sac means there is no through traffic.3 bed, 3 bath, 330m2 plot, established large gar­ dens, working fireplace, solar panel for hot water,pri­ vate parking, south facing great views, fully furnished, fantastic opportunity. ref.

L85. €215,000 Tel 680333242 Beach front Line property, over looks Carabassi Beach, Gran Alacant. 2 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, Secure Underground Parking, Fully furnished, Roof Top Solarium. 3 Large Communal Pools, Fantastic communal Gardens, Tennis Courts and much more.

125.000 Euros Ref No. K23.

Tel. 627 711 155 Lovely clean detached Villa just as you enter Gran Alacant. Very central loca­ tion, 3 Bedrooms, 3 Bathrooms, Glazed in Porch, Garden Shed, Private Parking, Attractive Gardens, Private pool Ref: K59 240.000e Tel. 627711155 Offers Invited on a mid Terraced Town house in Gran Alacant. Comprising of 3 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms,

Lounge Diner, Galleria, Solarium, Under build.

Communal Pool and Gardens, and with Exceptional Views of Alicante. Being Sold Fully Furnished including White Goods. Ref. K42 Tel. 627711155 (reasonable offers only) Gran Alacant, Situated on the very first urbanisation as you enter Gran Alacant, this 2nd floor duplex offers taste and quality. Comprising of 2 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, lounge­diner, independent kitchen, full roof­top solari­ um with superb views and recently glazed in porch offering extra living area as well as extra privacy as the glass is mirrored. Ref.K44 €108,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant south­facing, very private villa, with wood­ land and Alicante views.

Situated at the end of a small cul­de­sac which means this villa enjoys a very peaceful location.3 Bedrooms with fitted wardrobes, 3 Bathrooms, lounge­diner with working fireplace, fully fitted kitchen with including white goods, large front porch, solarium,workshop and stor­ age in under build, central heating, air con H/C, ceiling fans, grills, UK T.V, off road parking and plenty of out­ side parking also. Due to its

WANTED

orientation of this property enjoys full sun, all day, something very important in the winter months. Ref.K24. €237,000 Tel 680333242

QUIZZES Experienced quiz­ master/question setter with personality available to host quiz nights in local bars.

Tel:­ 664 838 581

SITUATIONS VACANT RADIO COSTA INTERNA­ TIONAL needs motivated sellers. Spanish, English and German language is a bonus but not essential.

Training and good earnings guaranteed. For more info call 644 126 600 or email info@radicocostainterna­ tional.com Situations Vacant. Top Chef Required for The Med Bistro Bar, Guardamar. Excellent package and incentives. Tel. 0044 7917 1658 65 or email: andysteve@aol.com (168)

SITUATIONS WANTED Gardening, property mainte­ nance, translations, cheap rates call David 722521654.

SOLICITORS Need English speaking solicitors in Torrevieja?

Let us help to solve your problems with debt recov­ ery, divorce, property, fraud, criminal defence. Call us on 966 923 963, give us brief details and get in touch with your specialist solicitor today

WIG SPECIALIST SALON MARGARETHAS, 23 years in Torrevieja Hair/Wig specialist for Medical illness and Hair Loss problems. We offer dif­ ferent Hair Replacements, top fillers, Hair prostheses, Toupees and Wigs, Natural and Artificial hair and much more. Also fashion/festival accessories TV/TS are wel­ come to our service. Please call our salon reception for an appointment with Margaretha on Tel no 966 921 846 Torrevieja (90)

SITUATIONS VACANT

POOLS

SURVEYOR

VAN HIRE

Friday, August 8, 2014

Greenside Gossip

45

IVIE DAVIES takes a weekly look at the golf scene - golfdavies@gmail.com

NO MORE FORE! I can't believe the number of top players who fail to shout customary warning to the crowd after a wayward shot and so perhaps the errant pros should be punished. Even the “Big Easy” South Africa's Ernie Els was too easy when he failed to shout a warning at The Open. Pro golfers tend to be an intelligent bunch – eloquent, (most times) co­operative with the media (with some exceptions) and engaging at sponsor­ ship events. So you’d think it wouldn’t be beyond them to use one simple word that is becoming alarmingly absent from their vocabulary – Fore!

During The Open, I was amazed by how many of the big names standing on the tee didn’t even bother to warn those inside and outside the ropes when there was a mini­mortar shell heading their way. It’s inexcusable, unprofessional and downright dangerous. It also shows a total lack of respect for paying punters. Too many players just stood there look­ ing all earnest and concerned about where it might land – not for the sake of fellow humans on the flight path. Rather their big worry is, ‘Will I still be able to get up and down to save par?’

Phil Mickelson,– meekly pointed a finger to the right as if the guys hemmed in together 300 yards up the fairway would be able to see. When challenged later, Mickelson brushed it off by saying there was no chance the crowds up the fairway would have heard him shout­ ing into the prevailing wind. Possibly! But would it have been too much trouble for Phil to try?

Just 24 hours before, he had watched playing partner Ernie Els inflict a horrendous injury when his blast off the first tee smashed a spectator on the jaw. It clearly shocked the South African as he went on to triple bogey the hole. In his post­round chat, Els made all the noises you would expect. He was playing a blinder – right up until he started talk­ ing about what some jour­ nalists obsessively refer to as his “mindset” standing on the first tee.

Get a load of this: “There’s a bunker on the left and in the practice rounds I was looking to maybe miss it to the left of that. It’s a dangerous shot so I probably should have started to move the people on the left side further back but I didn’t do that. So I really felt bad hitting it there into the people.”

Sorry, what? You knew you were aiming left and smashing a rock­hard projectile at more than 150 miles per hour towards a crowd? The queue of No­Win, No­Fee lawyers outside his house must be longer than those at various theme parks around the world! As sad as it is, it might just take a law suit and hefty compensation payout to focus minds.

Fortunately, there are still many pros who do get it. During the Scottish Open, Ian Poulter fired out a brilliant tweet: “Shouting Fore today for players that can’t be bothered p****s me off. If they had family in the crowd they’d shout.” Poulter was bang on. As was Paul Lawrie, who re­tweeted in support then spoke out about the issue at The Open.

But then came an interesting question in response. If you

were leading The Open by one on the 72nd hole and your drive was heading for the rough but the crowd could stop it, would you shout Fore? Lawrie’s answer “definitely” was heartening but how many of his peers could honestly say the same?

So maybe it’s time for the authorities to apply penalty strokes on the basis that not warning the crowd of a wayward shot amounts to dangerous play. Don’t shout Fore?

Add one. Simple.

But this lack of calling fore is also creeping into the amateur game. When I took up golf, I was told that for safety and as a courtesy you should always shout fore if there was even a possibility of hitting other players – better to be safe than sorry. However, given the increasing number of close calls I and my mates have experienced, without any warning given, shouting fore is no longer considered ‘cool’.

For everyone’s safety, this is a trend that needs to be reversed and it should start with professional tour play­ ers who act as role models and examples to all and especially to juniors. Pro shops can also do their part adding a request to call fore to the course etiquette section on score cards – it’s every bit as important as repairing pitch marks and raking bunkers.

KNOW YOUR RULES QUESTION Your ball is off the green, but close enough that you want to putt; however, directly in your putting line ­ between your ball and the green ­ is a sprinkler head. Do you get to move your ball so that you don't have to putt over the sprinkler head?

ANSWER: No. But read all the way to the bottom for a possible excep­ tion.

Here's the explanation. The rule in question is Rule 24­2, Immovable Obstruction. The sprinkler head obviously can't be moved, so many players believe that they should be able to move their ball (dropping one club length away, no nearer the hole).

If your ball was on top of the sprinkler head, you could move it. If it was resting up against the sprinkler head, you could move it. If the sprinkler head affected your swing or prevented you from taking your normal stance, you could move the ball under Rule 24­2.

However, none of those things applies in this example. The problem is that if you putt the ball, you'll have to go directly over the sprinkler head because it is in the line of your putt.

GOOD GUY GARCIA

Lately, Sergio Garcia can't seem to go anywhere without hearing about rings. As in, did Garcia give his longtime girl­ friend, Katharina Boehm, the diamond ring she has been sporting these days? Are the two engaged?

In the fourth round at last Sunday’s WGC­Bridgestone Invitational, Garcia, again, was linked to a diamond ring. This time, it was the ring of a spectator who happened to be standing to the left of the fairway on the No. 3 hole at the Firestone Country Club. The Spaniard freakishly knocked the diamond out of its ring with a stray tee shot. Garcia's tee shot flew to the left of the fairway, and landed right on a specta­ tor's diamond engagement ring. The force of the impact from the ball dislodged the diamond.

When Garcia saw what had happened, he searched through the grass for signs of sparkle before telling his caddie to get the woman's contact information. Garcia asked a marshal at the 13th to take down the woman's details when he discov­ ered what had happened but after a 20­minute search the gem was eventually found.

"You never like to hit someone but if you hit someone and make her lose her diamond ring it feels even worse. I was prepared to buy her one. I don't know how Kathy would have felt about that but other than that it would have been OK," said Sergio Garcia said he was prepared to purchase a new diamond ring for lost stone he caused. Within minutes, however, the CBS broadcast of the Bridgestone showed the woman happily holding her found, loose diamond. She'd found a diamond in the rough. Senor Garcia has gone up in everybody’s esti­ mation as not only a good golfer but a nice human being too.

TITTER ON THE TEE Jim is walking along the fairway when he sees his mate Dave in a shiny new golf buggy.

“Where did you get such a fantastic buggy?, he asks him.

Dave replies, “Well yesterday I was playing on the 5th fairway on my own when a gorgeous woman came up to me in this buggy. She leapt out, took off all her clothes and stood there saying “Take what you want.” So I did.

Jim nods, “Good choice – I don’t think the clothes would have fitted ­ nice new set of clubs too!”

46

Friday, August 8, 2014

CHILEAN STARLET JOINS ELCHE

Elche have cut a deal with the Chilean defender, Enzo Roco, to come on loan for a season, with the club having an option get him on a four year deal. The 21 year old Universidad Católica centre­back, just missed the final cut for Jorge Sampaoli’s 2014 Chilean World Cup squad, having been named in the initial 30­strong party.

Roco won a national championship in 2010 and League Cup with Universidad Católica of Chile when he was 18, and the centre­back became Elche’s seventh sign­ ing for the 2014­2015 season after Fajr, Adrián, Mosquera, Tyton, Pasalic and Jonathas.

Sporting director Víctor Orta officially

welcomed Enzo Roco to Elche on Monday, praising the player for his desire to make the move and assuring that the club have signed a very talented foot­ baller, who will fit well into the team.

“We want players who are committed to our cause and at every moment he wanted to come here, even waiving his right to 10% of the transfer fee, to be with us.”

Roca said that he hopes that he will be staying at the club for a long time:­“This is an important step in my career and I’m grateful for the huge effort Elche made to bring me here. I want to stay here for as long as possible, I’d love to stay here for ten years and I really owe this club.”

KEYLOR COMES

Real Madrid have signed Costa Rica goalkeeper Keylor Navas from Levante on a six­year deal. Navas was a star performer for his country in Brazil this summer as they reached the quarter­finals of the World Cup for the first time, and the 27­year old was presented to the Bernabeu fans on Tuesday.

Real had to pay Levante over eight million euros to activate the keeper's release clause, and he’s the third Madrid signing this summer after they captured the German World Cup winner, Toni Kroos and Columbian forward, James Rodriquez.

The Costa Rica goalkeeper Keylor Navas said that he is ready to fight with Iker Casillas and Diego López for a place in the Real Madrid starting line­up after sealing what he called his “dream” move from Levante.

“If I am here, it’s not because I bought a lottery ticket,” Navas said.

MORE TORRY SIGNINGS CD Torrevieja have signed two more players as they build up for the start of the season, with 24 year old­right midfielder, Jose Luis Olivares Ferra "Sele"(pictured holding a red shirt) joining from Athletic Pulpileño. The other newcomer is the experienced 33­year­old defender Eduardo Balón Pedreño "Eddy"(in the blue and white shirt) from Hoya Lorca CF where he played last season in 2nd Division B. Meanwhile, Torry beat CD Cox 4­1 in a friendly on Wednesday night.

XAVI QUITS Xavi Hernandez has retired from international football.

The 34­year­old Barcelona midfielder won the World Cup and two European Championships with Spain.

He was capped 133 times, more than any other Spanish outfield player, and scored 13 goals. Xavi told a news con­ ference in Barcelona on Tuesday: "I'm grateful for all those years. It has been a fantastic time."

He made his full Spain debut on 15 November 2000, aged 20, against the Netherlands. "I'm not 20 any­ more, but I still have the moti­ vation of a kid," he said.

RUCK ON THE BEACH

MONTE’S A BARGAIN

By Andrew Atkinson

CD Montesinos football fans will pay just two euros to watch their home games in the 2nd Regional group 15 of the Valencian League, which in con­ trast, dwarfs the price of sup­ porters watching English Premier League stars this sea­ son ­ with Arsenal the highest priced season ticket ­ at £2,013!

You can either watch 'Vaz' (Vazquinho) in action for CD Montesinos ­ or dig deep to see The Gunners star striker Olivier Giroud.

A season ticket at Tottenham equates to costings of £90 per game – the highest priced sea­ son ticket being £1,895 to watch 21 fixtures next season ­ 19 being Premier League games.

Thirteen of the 20 Premier League clubs have increased

their prices for the 2014­15 season. Sporting Intelligence states clubs will receive £5.5bil­ lion during 2013­16, via TV pay deals. So why the big increases? Talk about squeezing lemons!

The highest priced season ticket at Manchester United is £950, with the lowest priced match ticket being £31. And Hull City's highest season tick­ et price is £572. West Brom's highest priced season ticket is just £459 ­ the lowest in the Premier League. Back home, CD Montesinos manager Juanpe has got his squad together for pre­season train­ ing ahead of the new 2014­15 campaign. And around 400 'Full Monte' fans that regularly attend home fixtures will once again dig deep this season ­ for the two euros entrance fee!

A bigger than normal turnout boosted the annual beach rugby tournament at San Juan, Alicante last weekend, attract­ ing teams from far and wide including:­ Alicante University, Salaos de Huesca, Elche, La Vila, Denia, Albacete, Barbarians Alua, Zaragoza’s Law University, Trapos Viejos RFC, and Alicante RFC. This year, there were two pitches set up with one for the women’s rugby along with the men’s tournament, with both groups of teams having Spanish international players playing.

After a long day in the heat, Trapos Viejas beat Alicante RFC 4­0, while in the other semi­ final Barbarians Ruzafa edged out La Vila Powerprint 2­0. In the final, Trapos Viejas eased through to a 3­0 victory over Barbarians to crown a great day of rugby.

Tomorrow(Saturday August 9th) sees the first ever beach event down south which will be run by the Murcia XV the Playa de las Delicias in the south western resort of Aguilas, close to the border with Almeria.

The following Saturday sees the second San Javier beach tournament.

ELCHE GET VICTOR

Elche have signed the 25 year old Zaragoza winger, Victor Rodriguez, on a three year contract.

He’d made 72 appear­ ances for Zaragoza and had been under contract with them until next summer.

Friday, August 8, 2014

47

PLUCKING DEFEAT FROM THE JAWS OF SUCCESS? Admitting to a soft spot for Southampton from watching them years ago in the old first Division, early last season I was so impressed with the club’s recent progression and refreshingly suc­ cessful brand of football that I dug up some interesting facts. Four trou­ bled years ago, sitting nowhere in today’s Division One (the Third uz­woz) a German, Markus Liebherr acquired the club for £14m, and rescued the club from administration.

The new owner soon recruited an unusual Italian businessman, one Nicola Cortese as chairman who soon set about rebuilding and revitalising the club on some very substantial footings, eg. an ‘English’ youth policy was introduced, all the key players needs and comforts, especially on away matches were listened to intently – and many more innova­ tions. Cortese (unpopularly at the time) dis­ pensed with successful English manager Nigel Atkins, now currently reviving Reading, and appointed an unheard­of­in England Argentinian manager Mauriccio Pochettino who had been working in Spain at unfancied Espanyol, the little brother team of Barcelona.

Soon Cortese’s exhaustive efforts behind the scenes, together with Pochettino’s abilities with the team began to

flour­ ish.

Saints were quickly on the football map and climbing, reaching the mighty Premier League in two seasons where the UK foot­ ball world began to take sit up and take

notice. Names like Adam Lallana, Luke Shaw, Ricky Lambert and Jay Rodriguez began to be regularly mentioned as Southampton came 14th in their first season, and last year achieved a superb eighth behind Manchester United.

Lallana was the popular leader, the glue which held the team together both in the dressing room and on the field. The 26 year­ old had joined the club aged 12 and was a key figure as Southampton fought their way up from League One. But meanwhile behind the scenes, there were problems. Liebherr had suddenly died in 2010, leaving the club to his disinterested daughter Katharina.

Rumours of instability and unhappiness had been rumbling for some time, and the biggest

blow was Cortese’s resignation early last season. Pochettino loyally agreed to carry on, at least until the end of the season.

In April, Les Reed, Southampton's new executive director stated: “No club has been given permission to talk to any of our players and that will remain so. We want to retain the players we've got. Any enquiries will proba­ bly be met with a 'no, not for sale'. Our inten­ tion is to keep this very good team together.”

Hmm…only ’probably’, Les? Within a month, Pochettino went off to further his for­ tune managing Spurs. A week later, striker Rickie Lambert was sold to Liverpool, but no real alarm bells sounded. Lambert is a Scouser, he’s 32 and the move made sense to all; but far worse was soon to come. On the final day of the season after the draw with Manchester United, the players, staff and families gathered for a dinner. United made a bid for Luke Shaw at an eyebrow­ raising £27m with the player wanting to go.

More worryingly, inspirational captain Adam Lallana also told the club he wanted to move on, well aware of Liverpool's interest in him.

Significantly no­one tried to persuade either man to stay, and consequently both sourly said they had no intention of going back to the south coast after the World Cup, for which both were off to represent England.

Southampton’s management panicked, but did nothing and both players left for Brazil, angry and frustrated – not good for England or The Saints.

Back in the UK at St Marys, when word spread that Lallana was angry with his treatment and wanted out, significant others began to question their own futures.

The special bond between the Southampton players, Cortese and Pochettino that had been key to the club's rise from the depths of League One to the cusp of European football, the pact that had brought the club huge suc­ cess had now been well and truly shattered. Shaw and Lallana both left in the space of 24 hours after they returned from the World Cup. Key defender Dejan Lovren was next, also to Liverpool and soon young Calum Chambers Britain’s MotoGp racer, Scott Redding, was whisked away put in three days training with the to Arsenal. France Supermotoland team at the Fortuna and midfielder Morgan Albaida circuits to further improve his Schneiderlin now Supermoto skills and physical condition fully intends to go before heading out to America for the next to Spurs, as does MotoGp race. Training on a Supermoto Jay Rodriguez. bike in 40 degrees of heat whilst battling P o r t u g u e s e with the two brothers was an ideal prepara­ defender Jose tion for Scott, who thoroughly enjoyed his Fonte is known to experience as well as meeting the many be unsettled, as is fans that turned up to see him ride. full­back Nathaniel There’s more details about the Ford­ Clyne, midfielder Dunn’s at www.supermotoland.com Jack Cork and

DUNN AND READY

The Supermoto Ford­Dunn racing broth­ ers from Murcia are far from a holiday mood, with the two guys are getting read­ ing for the second half of the season, as most people head off for the beach. With Mat(pictured) holding a commanding lead in the SM Master 35 class and Anthony only 34 points off the leader in the SM Open class, both have a Spanish title with­ in grasp and they are determined to be in prime shape for the final championship races of the year on Sunday September 7th at the Albaida circuit near Alcoy, Alicante.

Dutch defender Jos Hooiveld. Perhaps most worrying of all, is the fear the discontent might spread to the club's highly regarded academy.

The new Canadian chairman from the dif­ ferent world of Ice Hockey, Ralph Krueger looks hopelessly out of touch, merely saying neither will be sold before the new season.

“We see them as a part of our core group players,” he said unconvincingly.

Significantly the club appears in good finan­ cial shape, posting a modest net loss of £7.1m in March, certainly not needing to sell players. But when large offers came in from the big boys the deals made sound financial sense: Shaw £27m, Lallana £25m, Lovren £20m, and Chambers £16m. But when viewed together a huge hole is left, a desert­ ed exodus of exciting talent revealing Southampton as a lost club with no direction ­ and struggling to spend the £92m wisely.

Owner Katharina Liebherr is seriously con­ sidering selling the club, whilst Krueger has not been in Southampton for the past eight weeks, leaving isolated Reed in charge of all football affairs.

New manager Ronald Koeman who has walked into this chaos has at least rebuilt teams before, most notably at Feyenoord with a core of young players: he will surely need that experience now. No other non­rel­ egated club has sold off as many key players in one fell swoop before with a new chair­ man, a new chief executive and a new man­ ager in place. Where once there was stabili­ ty, now there is doubt and uncertainty. We will soon find out if Southampton can survive without their brilliant young stars ­ starting, ironically and dauntingly at Liverpool a week on Sunday.

Friday, August 8, 2014

BLUES LOSE THE PLOT!

48

JOSE’S BRIDGING LOANS STRIKE A STRANGE POSE

Erm… does old Mourinho know what he’s doing lately? Arguably anyone armed with Roman’s ready roubles should succeed. Looking logically, Frankie’s Lamplight­dim­ ming move to the USA makes sense – but now the glaringly­obvi­ ous seems to be shining back in Mou’s face as Lampard is now returning this season in a Manchester City shirt ­ yet another transfer to an ‘enemy’, a la Juan Mata and Man Utd. Apparently ‘New York City’ are another ‘feeder club’ that financially­huge (Man) City jointly own, another is in Melbourne, Oz. This Yankee one runs jointly with a New York Baseball team. Suspicious old

John McGregor reports

Arsene’s already smelt an emirat and is moaning ­ has he got a point?

Similarly confusingly to a mere mortal like me, replac­ ing supposedly fading Frankie at the Pensioners Party we hear Didier Drogba’s been dug up, to hopefully haunt Chelsea’s opponents once more. Didi was an immortal superstar at the Bridge who never let the Blues down ­ then. Pardon me, but didn’t ‘Dragba’ look a fair bit slower at the World Cup for the fancied Ivory Coast ­ and for Galatasaray of late?

So: Jose has signed two and let two strikers go already this summer, and Andre Shurrle may be on his way to ransacked Atletico Madrid, confusingly replacing their Diego Costa who recently moved to Chelsea for £32m.

Drogba joins Costa and ageing Fernando Torres, whereas Samuel Eto'o was released and Demba Ba sold to Besiktas for £4.7m.

Mou­mis­management? The long­running Romelu Lukaku loan saga looks finally over at last this week as Lucky signed for Everton on a five­year contract. The 21­year­old Belgian World Cup forward scored 16 goals ­ on loan ­ at Everton last season, having loan­ starred for West Brom the previous season. Lukaku joined Chelsea from Anderlecht for £18m in August 2011 but played only 15 games for the Blues: barking business…

Bridging loans? More mystifying Mou moves meant after signing from Barcelona in 2011 and playing 33 games, the Spanish midfielder Oriol Romeu has joined German club Stuttgart ­ on loan ­ for the 2014­15 sea­ son. This after spending last season ­ on loan ­ at La Liga’s Valencia. And what about recent signing 19 year­old Croatian Mario Pasalic? Why, straight off to our own Elche – on loan, of course!