Volume 16 • No. 3, March 2016
www.theinsyder.com
Voice!
funkies mfa, changez & bush open
Desparado Udfest ultimate winner
JITTERS IN BUSH
why a tie is such a big deal!
Kanye the
hustler
SHEER business INGENUITY!
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Ways To Get That Mullah
Free Rihanna & vanessa mDEE POSTERS
200 Baab
delightful
HUSTLERS’ EDITION
FIND US ON FACEBOOK
Tha Teeniez
www.theinsyder.com || The Insyder Magazine - March 2016 || 1
ON THE cOVER Tha Teeniez voice
Editorial KRU Kathambi Mirero, Doug L Fresh, Davie Ngash, Joan Rangara, Clinton Oyaro, Liverpool VCT and all teeniez massive PHOTOGRAPHY Moses Mwangi Marketing Kamau Kimani Mathew Kerosi CIRCULATION MANAGER David Mutugi CIRCULATION Tom Nyamolo COVER PHOTOGRAPHY Sam Githegi Design & layout Elias Mwangi
The Insyder Office No. 3328, Gatundu Road Kileleshwa PO Box 51634, Nairobi 00200 +254 (20) 2323363/519 +254 (0) 714 888 555 +254 (0) 724 176 088 www.facebook.com/Insydermagazine www.instagram.com/theinsyder www .twitter.com/theinsyder www.vine.co/u/1112346805343313920
st Kanye We
COPYRIGHT The Insyder is published by Teenwise Media Limited. All rights reserved. It is released once a month. Contributions are welcome and must be accompanied by stamped selfaddressed envelopes. All due care will be taken with material submitted, but the magazine and publishers cannot be held responsible for loss or damage. The editor reserves the right to edit, amend or alter material in any way deemed necessary. The Insyder cannot be responsible for unsolicited material. The opinions expressed here are not necessarily those of the editors and publishers of this magazine.
www.theinsyder.com || The Insyder Magazine - March 2016 || 3
Insyde
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ho s
In thi
issue
ERIC OMONDI SET TO MARRY bush open
west
NEWS Words: Joan Rangara
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Kanye
CELEBRITY
changez open
RIHANNA COMING TO EAST AFRICA
12 OPEN!
SEASON
Thousands of schools, busloads of fun!
The business genius
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your chocolates for ying roses and bu e beach y th pl By sim s. re an pl we hile most di had bigger on m O on one ic wn Er e, do in edian went lady this Valent the air, the com in ze ee br ol shores, co antal Grazioli. lian beauty, Ch seal their love knee for his Ita o are ready to tw e th p, hi eSaidYes”, ns -term relatio ia to post, “#Sh After their long his social med te him. to la ok tu to ra ly ng te co ia med so quick to al re we forever. Eric im ns fa s g day, there is s proposal. Hi e date of the bi announcing hi th n ow kn e to wait and ad uple hasn’t m we’ll just have of March. But Although the co h most, but 5t to e th ry t te ou ion ab ty is still a mys au be en a lot of speculat az br di landed this see. How Omon e best. th em th we wish
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Desparado Udfest ultimate winner 4 || The Insyder Magazine - March 2016 || www.theinsyder.com
18 mfa open
All East African Rihanna fans get ready, because Riri’s coming to town! The owner of the new ‘ANTI’ album will be coming to Uganda in June, thanks to Suudiman Lukwago, the renowned Uganda promoter. This will be her second visit to Africa after 3 years since her phenomenal concert in South Africa. It’s a shame Rihanna isn’t gracing Kenyan soils on her first visit to East Africa, but lets not lose hope, maybe she might pass by. Either way don’t miss out. Start booking your tickets real soon and get a chance to see the famous artist Robyn Rihanna Fenty in person. www.theinsyder.com || The Insyder Magazine - March 2016 || 5
Final Round Compuera honiez picture moments before the game
YOUNG DESIGNERS WITH A DREAM “We believe you can have anything you want in life as long as you dress the part, that’s why We wanted to wear our own designs.”
H
WORDS: Joan Rangara
ow many times have you been stopped on the road with the question, “Where did you get your outfit?” simply because you look good? Now imagine giving this reply, “I made it, it’s my design.” That’s the reply, 20 year-old Moses
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Bush Gee St. John’s cadets ready to rescue
A Mang’u player dribbles past a Ditchez opponent
Brother-Sister School Valentine season
Bash pen @
Waira and 25 year-old Ken Wanjala, give each time. While you’re still following other people’s trends, they’re busy creating their own. Moses is currently a Graphic and Design student, Ken on the other hand is a recent graduate of Fashion and Design, both at Kenyatta University and they can already support themselves financially. The two young fellas met in a dance group and immediately clicked when they realized they shared similar interests, one of them being fashion. “We realized we both hated buying clothes from the shops, we wanted to wear our own designs,” was what Moses aka Jinc said when asked. So they opted to start their own line, Nedian Clothing, sometime in April last year. Since then their partnership has opening doors, such as working with Nairobi Brides. Now they’re making plans to start dressing local celebrities. They have suffered a few hiccups such as time and space at first, but that hasn’t stopped them. They make everything from African attires, denims, sweat shirts and hood, sweat pants and so much more. So be the first to get dressed by Nedian Clothing, according to your own taste and style. Check out more of their designs @nedian_clothing, and you’ll be sure to fall in love with their work. Contact them: 0726557148 or 0700476402 knekke68@gmail.com or jinc900@gmail.com
BOMA’s Stacey, Audrey and Natasha with their fave mag
O h s Bu
Femi One ako Ligi Soo
Bush Entertainment Commitee
A Bush player on the defense against a Hidden Talent player
MC Chuck had to join the ecstatic crowd Bush Entertainment Club www.theinsyder.com || The Insyder Magazine - March 2016 || 7
JITTERS
IN
BUSH
MONEY & DATING
Tale of Tie in Busherians
“Let me have a Minty Pineade,” said my new catch. As I browsed through the classy menu at this new spot in town...my eyes could not help but look particularly at the numerical values we called prices.
WORDS: Kago John
Words: Jonni Kago
“Funny Money” I was in stress. Mfukoni hakuna jambo...and shawty was ordering cuisines I had never heard of. The astronomical prices attached to the foods injected turmoil into my mind. Her smile was wide as day as she continued ordering. I loved her..Infinitely...but her non-pocket friendly nature is what I differed completely with. “Kwani mimi ni babake”...I kept wondering. I don’t think even her own father would order such expensive food for her bana! The waiter then turned to me asking what I wanted to have , as if expecting a similar kind of order. I stuck to my sufferer’s diet...Maji. Sio maji ya mineral..the free water given in jugs. Struggle was real Brother! The waiter appeared shocked as my clad did not look like one who would be drinking free water. But what he did not know would not kill him. Jaymo’s blazer seemed to have done its job well. Food came. Platters were arranged in heaps on the well-laid table in this suburban restaurant. In contrast , my jug of water also came. Ashley ate with her fork and knife as I downed my water..After all, Nilikuwa nimeshiba mtaani nikikuja. Ashley ate..then ordered for dessert. Even pretty girls eat this much. Now I’m done with the jug of water.Dessert is on the table. She is still eating. I’m still trying to minimize costs.
As you walk through the well-swept walkway in front of the self-acclaimed only school in Kenya one could not help but notice the majestic administration block that towers above Kikuyu town... Fortunately, I tell you this as I happened to have felt this exact feeling and experienced the very moment for real. It was the 7 day of February. My folks had amkad ngware to go to this hailed school. My box in hand and that suitcase that makes form 1s look so tiny were part of my weaponry into a new world of Genius. There was no way I was going to get there late. Hata labda ningefukuzwa...Just a thought. All roads led to Kikuyu town. The birthplace of the only school worth its title under the African sun. The big Alliance High School sign that gracefully stood on the roadside stole all the attention from much bigger billboards. th
I gave the old receptionist my letter of
admission that at this point had been my most valuable item in my pocket. Even more valuable than ‘pocket money’...Imagine. A guardian came and that small form two boy would be my pathway to light in the Alliance High School. He would be my saviour from the abyss of confusion and dungeon of form one-ness. His first order of service was to hand me a Tie Test Book. The only historic book that I truly treasure to this day. This book had outlined every single nook and cranny that related to this school. And worse still, I would be examined on the contents of this book that I dreaded at first. I could not believe that I came to this school that I held in utmost respect and awe for to sit for an exam that tested on the school’s very history. The dorms were threatening for me at first. That maiden walk of fame every form one walks with the ogling eyes of form 2s, 3 and the big boys of the school
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watching which form one looked the most confused. As I lay my bedding on the very bed that I would unfortunately sleep on for the next four years, I opened the very book that I had been by my guardian. The book offered a wide array of information from the order of principals from 1926 to date which I still can list down to date. Two weeks from today would prove if I was worthy of the title a ‘Busherian.’ A pass in the exam was to ascertain that I was truly aware of my school’s history and would weave me into the strong moral fabric that upheld the true Busherian spirit. And a tie to show that. Meanwhile, I would remain tie-less since I was not yet worthy of carrying the school logo on me...Close to my Heart. I guess me narrating this tale to you now tells you that I did not flank the test... doesn’t it? The School I loved the most to this day.
“Babe I am having a blast!” said Ashley in a heavenly voice. I put on the fakest smile in an effort to hide my underlying frustration. Every dog has its day, goes the old adage. Today I was that dog and truly it was the dog’s day. As if not to end my current on-going tribulations, Terry walks in. Ashley’s best friend of all people had to appear. Our eyes locked. It seemed like a heaven-sent opportunity for her but for me it looked like I was going to tell this story for the rest of my life. I felt like standing up and running away from this disaster that was bound to occur. Just as I had expected, Terry sat at our table with the “foolish” waiter hurrying to get her a seat for her to “dine” with us. Ashley and Terry were quick to start the woman-like story-telling ritual. Catching up with the latest ‘mushene’ fresh from the street. Waiter then got Terry a menu. To place her order. I was praying that she would follow my example and ask for plain water. But you know women of these days...they will milk out any cash cow that comes along their treacherous paths. Making the best out of any opportunity that comes along. Her food was brought. In a jiffy. Then Ashley suggested that we should pop champagne for this glorious occasion of reuniting with her old friend after not seeing her for over a MONTH...Seriously. Champagne was just not the word I wanted to hear at this moment. Hiyo ni pesa tu inaendelea kuongezeka. Ashley and Terry had loads of fun to my worst fears of course. I requested the waiter to bring me the bill. As the
waiter went to get the bill, my heart was racing. Jaws were moving rampantly. In a shivery state. Fear of the unknown . The girls were satisfied and looked happy. They laughed as they gossip about their miserable counterparts who had boyfriends who couldn’t take them out to exotic dates. Ironical...I know! The waiter appeared holding a leather bill case where the receipt containing my fate tonight lay. I opened the case. FIFTEEN THOUSAND SHILLINGS!... I could not fathom. My legs started to buckle. Did I read the receipt? Ama there was a decimal point that I was not seeing? I could feel gravity literally pulling my eyes out of their sockets. My body experienced that cold chill I normally read about. Let’s do this quick math. I had come with 5K for this date... sure that I would not clear it. In fact I was sure that I was going home with change. Adrenaline kicked in. I had to think fast and get myself out of this potentially embarrassing situation. SPORTPESA!! I checked my sportpesa balance. Hopeful. Like a passenger waiting for the next matatu. And Alas! Kumbe my multi-bet a few days ago had multiplied. Plus my savings from previous wins were still intact. I had a cool 13K in my sportpesa account. I never once thought that Sportpesa would one day become my saviour out of a tricky situation like this. I paid up like a man without any demur. Truly, God was on my side today. Aliniona leo... my short prayer as the waiter fetched the bill had been answered. If this was not a miracle, I do not know what is a miracle then. I walked out of the restaurant confidently. I had won Ashley’s respect and heart for sure. Terry took a taxi and left, leaving Ashley and I. I walked her home. On reaching her door step, a warm hug ensued and she pecked me on my soft side. The night was not going so bad after all. I said bye and walked home with mixed feelings... Bitter sweet...Hot and cold. Broke but happy... But here is to a prosperous future in dating. Cheers to that. MORAL OF THE STORY: Men are always expected to handle the money factor during dates. It gives the man a sense of respect and being in control and will get respect greatly from his woman. Women want to feel secure around men during dates. That is how nature dictated things to occur that way. So the elephant in the room should be handled always. By the man. Yes, there is a struggle attached to that. But the end results will certainly justify the means incurred. www.theinsyder.com || The Insyder Magazine - March 2016 || 9
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Ways To Get That Mullah Some of our T.A.’s might have told us how hard life will be when we finish school. In as much as we took them for granted the grim reality greets us when KCSE is over and no longer get pocket money. You wanna get your own stuff but money is an issue. So the question beckons, “How do I get this cash?” We have lined up a number of ways in which you can hustle and get that extra coin to buy a phone or go for that event you’ll always yearned to attend. Check them out:
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Photography It’s one of those hustles that really pay off especially when one is passionate and fully committed to it. Case in point is the young Eustace Maina, co-founder of Eye-con photography. Together with his friend they decided to go professional after working for a local teen magazine and are now one of the best photographers in the industry. The quality of their photos is exceptional and it all goes down to investing in their equipment (2 Canon5D Mark II cameras) worth Kshs.250, 000. But the end of it all it’s worth paying as the clients will come in handy.
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Event Planning/Management It’s never that easy holding an event and we’ve seen event organizers have their fair share of criticism from their fans and more so when the security wasn’t taken care of. A lot of things have to be considered so as to have a successful occasion and attract even bigger crowds in subsequent events. For those considering it as a hustle, be patient and put in the hard work as one Malcolm X captures it. Of course you’ve seen him in many events capturing all those great moments through his videography (PH+ FILMS).He also doubles up as one of the co-founders of Yehlah Crew Inc. Malcolm says that it pays being involved in events organization having foreseen 13 events with the biggest being last year’s Colour Festival that attracted over 5000 guys! He adds that this is just the beginning and urges those looking to have a hand in it to make their work stand out and be unique.
Make use of your talent We all know of guys who are making serious mullah after putting their talents to good use. It’s not until one has tried out and sought new experiences to see what he/she is talented in. Our case study here is those good at playing football. There are currently a number of tournaments held countrywide that seek to reward talented footballers. GreenSports Africa is one of those organizations that have held football festivals like Gold Cup and Platinum Cup. “To join us, simply have your organized team then pay the registration fee and enjoy football!” says Arnold Mugo, who is part of the organization. He adds that there’s always some prize money at the end of every tournament that’s awarded to the best team. So next time you are playing futa with the boys in your hood, why not think of trying it out?
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Being a You Tuber I never thought it would be popular here in Kenya but of late it’s a trend that has been picking up quite fast. It’s also a good platform to expose one’s talent as we’ve seen from the likes of Justin Bieber, Shawn Mendes and even Carly Rae Jepsen who have become rich and famous thanks to You Tube. Locally, we have the likes of one ShaqTheYungin who has his own You Tube channel that deals exclusively with everything entertainment. He is certainly making some serious cash thanks to his channel as you’ll not miss him hosting some of Nairobi’s high profile events. Thus as you create your You Tube channel, try and do something innovative coz you never know you could be laughing all the way to the bank.
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Writing/Blogging I would deem this as one of the easiest ways of getting cash as long as you are an outstanding writer/blogger. If you are good at it then go online, look for sites that pay writers and get earning straight away. You could also write for magazines or newspapers since all you need is a laptop and internet connection for sending articles through email. Mind you there are writers who earn more than Kshs. 10,000 for having their articles published on print or digital platforms. Not a bad hustle, huh!
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Car Hire You will always hear fellows saying “nimekosa ride” whenever there’s an event as it’s always considered a priority even if one has the ticket sorted. Perhaps that rarely used 5 or 7 seater car parked in your compound could be the solution to such guys. And it could also rake in some serious cash! Just hire out the car and charge according to the distance that’s gonna be travelled. Provided the car will be back in good condition then there’s no need to worry so long as the cash keeps coming!
Graphic design Website, blog owners need graphic designers for professional banners as well as logos. Companies as well need them for their logos and print advertising. All you need to have are the basic skills in graphic designing of which you could study for a few weeks or months after high school and get yourself going for the job.
Tutor Of course being a teacher would be a student’s last wish but once school is done you might have to re-consider your decision. Many schools out there have inadequate teaching staff and your vast academic knowledge might be of help. Why not consider it a hustle as you wait to join campus? You could also tutor those kids in your hood who are poor in certain subjects. Trust me some parents pay a thousand or more per hour to tutor their kids.
Sell stuff in school I once had a chat with a former Bush Bee student who told me that at any given time he would not have less than 15, 000 bob as pocket money! Sounds unbelievable, right? Anytime he was about to run out of cash, the fella would use, say, 2000 bob to buy crates of sodas, sell to the students and get a further 2000 bob as profit. That’s Bush for you but the point here is to find a way to get some extra pocket money. It’s simple. Buy lots of bread or mandazi from the canteen and stock them in the dorm. Wait till students run to you during that tea break when there is a shortage of the same and you’ll be like that Bush Bee guy. There you go with a myriad ways to hustle and get clean, hard earned cash. So don’t just sit there and do nothing; get going. www.theinsyder.com || The Insyder Magazine - March 2016 || 11
boom!
we are just happy!
Soma number
The riddim crowd
Stuntman Issa Macharia from Domus Mariae School
She tried the hoover-board
Bash pen
He won her heart Moi High Kabarak
Desperado
“Buda checki hii poster” Wasee wa Bush na shorts, tihihi! share a soda and an ice cream
@
“Sisi hatuwezi smile!”
She got blown away with Miss Phy’s music
O h s u B
Green Garden Bball team
Femi One Rocked the crowd
Maisha Superstar winner Phy on stage
Top Femcee Femi One with Entertainment Captains Sampao and Kiplimo
Insyder kipenzi chetu Representing Domus Mariae School
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Mso honiez had their own poses || The Insyder Magazine - March 2016 || www.theinsyder.com
Bryan Rae (Bush) gets a hug from Dj Pierra after presenting her with a Valentine gift
‘Tall’ guy had to give his number
Miss Phy got blown away
Mc Chuck and Pierra’s Manager Valentine had to join in the photo
The music is too infectious DJ
Short man Zakayo was lifted high to see Pierra in action
LCM chicks mobbedwww.theinsyder.com the ‘tallest’ Bush guy Kristian for a pic
Raj does the Obe Baba style || The Insyder Magazine - March 2016 || 13
They sang along to every song
Texas rudge team
St. Bridgid’s Kiminini
Pierra gets some love from Changez
Pango’s best
Changez Rugby Team
Desperado, Straight Outta Dandora
Thika High handball team
Stach’s Abraham and Arrkay pose with Boma’s Linda Makete
Mbugiti hockey team in a frenzy
She puts her best foot forward
Stach dudes besides their bus
The crowd was fired up!
“ Tutakuwa kwa Insyder!”
Texas dudes pose with IQru BA’s Dee and Sheila
charg ed
Representing Pango
up ngez
cha
Last year’s Natioz Rugby champs Laiser Hill
Dude’s trying to win her heart
Papa Jones hands over his cap to King from Aquinas
Parky
Matuu Memorial (Memsville) hockey team
Khaligraph Jones a.k.a Papa Jones
Quabbz Netball team IQru’s Joan met her former schoolmate Noella
Katchez dudes check the latest gossip from their fave mag
IQru’s Malia hangs out with the coolest crew
Lukenya Academy Bball Team It’s scrum time!
Papa Jones performs in the middle of the crowd Aga Khan Mombasa B-ball team
Brian, Sam and Lenny with theier favourite mag 14 || The Insyder Magazine - March 2016 || www.theinsyder.com
Aquinas’ team mafisi unleash their fisiness on a hapless Lioki chick
IQru BA’S Dee, Sheila and Tasha
Dj Pierra hypes the crowd www.theinsyder.com || The Insyder Magazine - March 2016 || 15
ANTHONY MARTIAL:
THE £36 MILLION teen SENSATION
He is the most expensive teenager in world football after Manchester United spent a staggering £36 million on him. His speed, technical skills and fondness of cutting in from the left have made him be likened to Thierry Henry. And even though he’s just 20 years old, the French national is certainly an exciting prospect for the club. The world was stunned during last year’s summer transfer window when Manchester United boss Louis Van Gaal made a quick move for Anthony Martial on transfer deadline day. And not just stunned for any reason but for the £36 million paid for unproven talent which could rise to £58 million in potential add-ons. Not bad business for Monaco who bought him for £3.5 M from Lyon. He rose to prominence in France when he replaced Radamel Falcao who was mis-firing at that time; a move that spelled an end to Falcao’s time at the club. Martial scored nine goals in 35 league matches for Monaco and is regarded as one of the brightest young players in French football. 7 months later and he’s proved he can do what the Colombian couldn’t do at Old Trafford. He came off the bench to score on his debut during the Manchester United vs Liverpool game. The 20-year-old put on an impressive display scoring three goals in four league games and went on to be named the Barclays Player of the Month for September. Like Henry did he can play as a
16 || The Insyder Magazine - March 2016 || www.theinsyder.com
forward or a winger and is very skillful with lots of pace. Probably not the best with his head but he has great control of the ball, dribbles fantastically and is well balanced. He is known to terrorize right backs when played as a winger and is always a joy to watch his composure and confidence when scoring a goal. The two coaches who worked with Martial from the age of six until 14 at Les Ulis, a small club in Paris, knew the teenager would be a success. “We saw his talent very quickly. He was here at six and he could already do what a kid of eight should be doing,” says Mahamadou Niakate, who was one of the coaches to spot his talent. He adds, “We maybe didn’t see that he had the personality to be a top footballer until he was 12 or 13. From that age you could see that he absolutely wanted to become a footballer.”
UWEZO FUND INAWEZA? Hey ex-candidates, Did you ever, at any point during your high school period, come across something you are passionate about and wanted to pursue as a business idea? WORDS: Doug L Fresh
Benaaddane, his other coach, remarks that the quite shy teenager hated losing so much it made him cry. “He hated losing, really hated it - it was a key trait of his personality. When he was young he would cry when he lost a game. He was very emotional.”
Even if many of those dreams remain unrealized, I am almost certainly positive that most of you have at least had such an idea or hope, but circumstances have rendered you unable to
Big clubs were interested in signing him at the age of 12 and Niakate says he can’t quite understand why Manchester City in particular did not sign him. “Anthony visited Manchester City at the age of 12. City were really interested in him.” He adds further,” Man City were the smartest and invited him to visit their facilities. I don’t know why it (a deal) never happened.”
Thanks to the Kenyan Government and specifically the Vision 2030 programme, you will have a chance to realize all your entrepreneurial ideas by way of the Uwezo Fund.
Besides his young age, Martial has a family having being married to Samantha both being blessed with a daughter named Toto. They are also expecting a second child soon. Moving to England was surely a challenge for him especially being unable to speak English but thanks to French team-mate Morgan Schneiderlin, his translator, he now understands things quite well. The starlet prefers to stay indoors, enjoys home-cooked meals by his mum, is a television addict and likes to relax with his family following training sessions and matches. He has a love for video games, including FIFA, and TV shows such as Dexter. For a youngster earning £65, 000 per week, the fellow is truly living up to his expectations and even though he has struggled on a number of occasions in front of goal, it is the hope of many Manchester United fans that Anthony Martial will one day be regarded as a club great.
What is the Uwezo Fund? The Uwezo Fund is a programme aimed at enabling women, youth and persons with disability access finances to promote businesses and enterprises at the constituency level, and thus enhancing Kenya’s achievement of the Millennium Development goals. Two of its main objectives are to enhance community driven development and also to generate gainful self-employment for the youth. One of the guiding principles of the Uwezo Fund is that it guarantees accessibility at the grassroots level; this implies that any of y’all among the youth with dreams of succeeding as an entrepreneur would be able to benefit from this fund because one would not have to worry about it being accessible to those who have connections or something of the sort. In short, its high level of penetration into people of all classes guarantees access to everyone! How cool is that?
How do I become eligible the Uwezo fund? One way of doing this is to form a group with your friends. The following are the criteria that apply for the group to be eligible for the loan application: 1Is registered with the department of social services, Cooperatives or the Registrar of Societies
Step 3: Submit the application form together with relevant documents to the Constituency Uwezo Fund Management Committee office Step 4: Await notification from the committee What is the eligible amount to be given?
2 Has members aged between 18 and 35 years whereas the women’s groups shall be made up of women aged eighteen years and above
For administration of the Fund- Eligible qualifying amounts for a group shall be a minimum of fifty thousand 50,000) and a maximum of five hundred thousand (500,000) shillings at any one time.
3 Is based and operational at the constituency it seeks to make an application for consideration
In determining the total amount a group is eligible to receive, the following criteria shall be applied:-
4 Operates a table banking structure or any other group fund structure where members make monthly contributions according to the groups’ internal guidelines (evidence of monthly contributions shall be a requirement);
The length of time the group has been in existence
5 Hold a bank account in the name of the group. How do I apply for the Uwezo Fund? Step 1: Ensure that you meet the eligibility criteria above Step 2: Fill in an application form (available from the Constituency Uwezo Fund Management Committee office, CDF Offices or download form from
The total amount contributed by the group The current status of contribution and The proposed business plan for the loan applied For more information, go to www.uwezo.go.ke. Challenge yourselves to go for it guys! You have nothing to lose. You may look at the loan as a bad thing but sometimes you have to take credit in order to grow; credit is the easiest way to grow your business; so bet on yourself and trust your idea to become something tangible.
www.theinsyder.com || The Insyder Magazine - March 2016 || 17
Best buds
Art Club members Mohsai, Brayoh and Jordan
MFA lads, kujibamba
Awesome art!
Chilling with Papa Jones
Yahya, Abdul Thugger and Moha
Vibe zone The crowd could not have enough of Khaligraph Jones
Mad Fun
@ MFA OPEN
Guess which rapper is mobbed in this picture
Dandora MC Desperado got the crowd rapping along his lyric
Pango Bball team pose for the picharazzi
“Oooh please don’t mess our picnic”
Kanzu is the new swag
Ready for war! Lockwood’s fashion taste is on another level
Lockwood’s fashion taste is on another level Riddim Hour
Sending MFA shoutouts.
These MFA dudes had every reason to be happy
Even the paps could not escape Kodak moments
Mwangaza Sec guys doze off after a heavy lunch Rap flow King Khaligraph Jones spits his 16 bars
Highridge Girls netball team
Pumu Hockey Team Penalty time
Hooverboard craze caught up with MFA guyz
Kudandia ka mat
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Meanwhile backstage
MFA dudes couldn’t have enough of IQru BA’s Dee and Louisa
Some warm up dance
Jay D The Entertainment cop
Maina Wanjigi players chose to lounge on the grass www.theinsyder.com
MFAMagazine is the code || The Insyder - March 2016 || 19
Duke
ofDandora Udfest ultimate winner
Desparado!
Decoding Desparado Calm easy and collected would be an obvious definition of Desparado if you meeting him for the first time. Nothing about his outside demeanor is Dandoraish until you engage him in a chit chat. The things he has seen, done and experienced in his 25 year stay in D has molded him into the quiet persona he is today. Desparado was born and bred in Dandora, one of the biggest slums in Kenya. He attended Ronald Ngala Primary School and Good Shepherd high both in Dandora. Desparado discovered his music interest way back when he was in Class 8. He watched Gidi Gidi and Maji Maji use music as a gate away from the slum life. He grew up listening to the likes of E-Sir, Kalamashaka and Nas which greatly influenced and shaped his lyrical creativity. Discovering Desparado He would discover his rap prowess in 2013 when his friends started finding his jokes lyrical and started pressuring him to put the words on paper. His friends christened him Desparado because they found his flow untouchable. He had the hardcore flowing sound that had been lost with Kalamashaka. But he could hardly concentrate on music when he decided to pursue it. In Dandora you don’t decide your fate. Fate finds you!
borrow the fare to the venue, proof of his dedication and resilience. At the auditions Desparado was phenomenal and this laid the foundation for his biggest battle yet. At the UDFEST ultimate showdown Desparado rapped like he was on steroids, his lyrics and flow sent you to nostalgia, to what Hip Hop post to be. No one describes his hood in lyrics like he does. It’s so natural to him. He would go on to win the title having impressed the Judges who included Enos Olik (The biggest video director in Kenya) Deal Winning the UDFEST came with plenty of goodies. With an undisclosed amount in cash prize, a pricey hover board for a start. Under The Insyder A&R Desparado will work on a whole Mixtape produced by the top Hip Hop Producers in Kenya and a video done by Enos Olik as part of the contract. The outfit will handle his management and publicity for the entirety of his contract. You’ll soon see him perform at School Events all over the country so keep your ears out for his brand new jams especially if you are a Hip Hop head. Donation With his music investment taken care of Desparado sold his pricey Hoverboard, bundled them proceeds together
#Darkside In Dandora especially for a man you have to hustle, whatever the means! Studio time meant money. Desparado found himself engulfed in the dark side! He would often accompany his hommies to events in the city or in the leafy suburbs where they would steal valuables from unsuspecting revelers. He did what he had to do to survive. One by one, he watched his friends disappear and never see them again, he watched some get rounded up and gunned down. He attended so many burials so much so that he stopped counting. It was just too much for him, he couldn’t take it anymore more, he had to make a decision, and fast! Especially after losing his own brother to the same vice! Double Trouble His worst setback would be last year when he lost all his music he had toiled so hard to record. All his savings and hard work went up in flames when the studio equipment of his then Producer was confiscated due to unpaid bills. All he had was gone. Anyone at this point would give up right? But he didn’t.
he watched his friends disappear and never see them again, he watched some get rounded up and gunned down. He attended so many burials so much so that he stopped counting. It was just too much for him.
Desparate Times Desperate times calls for desperate measures. Desparado threw away the life of small time crime just before things escalated and set himself on musical path that saw him perform at several shows last year like; Wangari Maathai Family Day, Kwani Open Mic, Sauti Concert at Goethe Institute, Hip Hop Hook Up and he even won a rap battle at Ghetto FM hosted by Wakamba Wawili. Though he wasn’t paid for any of these shows, the exposure has elevated his status in Dandora Music scene and cemented his grip at hood. Destiny@UDFEST Good things come to those who wait! Desparado was tipped by a friend on the auditions of UDFEST back in December last year. He did not know about the cash prize or the contract offer at that time. He literally had to 20 || The Insyder Magazine - March 2016 || www.theinsyder.com
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F
Cover story
From his challenging music, edgy videos and pompous personality have earned him a reputation worldwide that he continues to live up to Lakini, despite all this most of us believe he is a bit crazy. If you have seen some of his interviews, he sometimes refers to himself as a semi-god. In a recent speech he gave at some uni in Stato, he said he is the century’s most and influential businessman. Yaani for the next 100 years we will still be talking about Kanye. Guess what guys? I totally agree. Here is why I believe he has perfected the “art of business”
STREET SMART Despite being a collage drop out. It is clear he reads widely and exposes himself to many things of the world Kanye has made his mark in the music industry. Even though his lyrics sometimes annoy many of us, he remains versatile and interesting. For instance the track “Jesus Walks” is so different from “Power” but they both display an awesome level of genius. Kanye has produced some of other artists’ best work—Jay Z, Rihanna, Pusha T, Beyoncé, Talib Kweli, and many others—the list is too long. He’s played a big part in shaping the landscape of almost 20 years of sound. PUBLICITY KING Kanye is King of publicity. He made a smart move and married the super fine Kim Kardashian ; Reality TV mega star who will be on peoples’ minds for years to come. He intelligently raffles feathers when he attacks other celebs such as Taylor, Wiz Khalifa, Amber Rose, making sure that he is on gossips sites daily. FASHION DESIGNER
THE
Complicated but genius business of
E Y N KA
Kanye evolved into a fashion designer without anyone realising. Next thing we knew, Bam! Kanye’s designs were all over, from catwalks to magazines. Despite his unbelievable designs, people are buying them outfits like crazy. I know some of y’all have bagged the famous yeezies by Adidas. In summary Kanye is the only guy who most wholly reflects our current “entertainment world” —a moment when we’re all our own personal brand, whether it’s through a Facebook page, Twitter account, or Instagram feed. Everything we put into the world contributes to the image we want the world to know, and no one does this better than Kanye.
Yoh! There is no doubt that Kanye West is hip hop’s creative genius. He’s certainly musically talented (and few would argue this point), but it takes more than just talent to reach the pinnacle of stardom that he’s attained since his career began as a producer in 1996(yeah most of ya’ll were not even born). WORDS: Kat Mirero
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SEXTING & TEENS HOW TO CHOOSE
YOUR CAREER We all know how it is when time is fast approaching for KCSE results to be released. You have to start thinking about what your career options might be for the future. Below is a simple 3 step process on how to decide your career. WORDS: Kat Mirero Reflect – what type of career would suit you? How do you spend your time after school and at the weekends? Do you have a particular hobby that you enjoy? Do you play any sports? Do you spend most of your time with friends on in your own company? Your personal interests can be a good starting point for reflecting on possible career options. What are you good at? Do you have a talent for writing? Are you good with numbers? Maybe you can play a mean guitar solo or have an artistic flair? Whereas every skill can be developed, most of us have one or two that just seem to come naturally to us. When it comes to reflecting on your career options, it can help to think about what skills you already have. Research – explore what career options are out there Make a list of all the careers that you thought about when reflecting on your options. The next step is to dig a little deeper into each of these career areas and find out what qualifications and experience you’ll need to gain in order to work in these areas. Plan – mapping out your career path Once you have the lowdown on your career options, the next step is to create a plan outlining how you’ll pursue your chosen path. At this stage, you may want to consider keeping your options open (as much as possible) as even the best laid plans sometimes take a different turn. Consult with your former teachers and parents and let them help you chart this path. And always remember not to place too much pressure on yourself. Remember, there is always going to be more chances for you to get it right. In the meantime, enjoy getting to learn yourself more, that is the only way you can be ready for the career world. 24 || The Insyder Magazine - March 2016 || www.theinsyder.com
The Phenomenon that has been there for over 4 years now Sexting has been the main storo among teeniez for the last four years. Wacha we break it down for those who do not know what sexting is. It is when you spend time exchanging steamy text messages, others describing how they are bedroom ‘beasts’. This even extends to describing body parts like a mamis boobs and at times the size of one’s manhood. By the way paroz hate this storo so much, they find some nasty things on their kid’s phones and this affects them sana. Imagine your mum finding a pic of your boyfies chest on you gallery of pics.
TEENS EXPERIENCING ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS (T.E.A.R) WORDS: Kat Mirero
How has it developed Can you imagine now with these hot smartphones, there is one app that makes sexting super easy and cool Snapchat, an application for iPhones, iPads and Android phones, allows subscribers to quickly send photos that quickly expire, increasing the temptation of teens to send embarrassing photos. The photos disappear, but that doesn’t stop the person on the receiving end from quickly grabbing a screenshot and circulating the photo beyond its intended audience. MAIN TERMS USED IN SEXTING 8 =Oral sex DUM =Do You Masturbate? Kitty =Vagina KPC =Keeping Parents Clueless Those who support texting say……. Get outta here, is what most teens say when asked about sexting. “How can you ask us such storos when you know everyone does it?” “When I leave school I cannot wait to get to my phone and see what has been happening on my snapchat and whatsapp” Siana who is in a boarding school says that sexting still happens even with snail mail. She adds that she always finds ways to keep her boyfie “excited” What the dudes say……. “Sexting is the best way to ona if a mami is willing to give up the goods soon or not. These days there are so many girls, we cannot waste time chasing just one girl feeling sweet.” Johnni says. Bottom Line We need to accept that sexting is now a way of expression for the teens. It is going nowhere. Let us just learn how to guide the teeniez to know their boundaries when it comes to this phenomenon.
Sheila*(name changed for preservation of identity) is only 18 but has experienced rape, violence, and two abortions. All these caused by men in her life who were meant to protect her and not hurt her. Sheila is now repeating 404 because she was so emotionally unstable to even complete her K.C.S.E exams last year. When interviewing her, she expresses to me that it all started with her uncle. At a younger age, he started buying her gifts, giving her money, all in exchange for sex. Her mum had no clue. This experience scared her and made her believe it was okay for her current boyfriend to do whatever he pleases to her. He has raped her severally and forced her to procure abortions. She tells me “I’ve gotten to the point at which I am okay with what he does because I am so used to it” Sheila’s case is very sad indeed, but what is even sadder is that there are numerous cases like these among our teeniez. What is Teenage dating abuse Dating abuse is a pattern of behavior, attitudes and beliefs that seek to exert power and control over another person
in a dating relationship. Dating abuse happens to young people from every socio-economic group regardless of tribe, school or hood Tactics used in youth dating abuse include one or more of the following: Emotional / Psychological Abuse for example: verbal abuse such as name calling, humiliation, manipulation/ guilt trips, possessiveness/ excessive jealousy, monitoring phone calls/ emails, isolation from friends/family, intimidation, yelling and screaming, threats to damage reputation, sabotage at school and/or work Physical Abuse for example: threats of violence, throwing things, restraining, destruction and/or control of property, hitting, slapping, shoving, grabbing, choking, using weapons to intimidate, and more. Sexual Abuse including spreading sexual rumors, sexual jokes/humiliation, sabotaging birth control or refusing to use protection, sexual assault and rape. What the facts say about teeniez being abused 33% of high school students will experience some form of dating abuse before leaving high school.1 1 in 3 teenagers report knowing a friend or peer who has been hit,
punched, kicked, slapped, choked or physically hurt by their dating partner. 1 in 5 teenie girls who has been in a relationship said a boyfriend has threatened violence or self harm if presented with a breakup. If trapped in an abusive relationship, 73% of teens said they would turn to a friend for help, but only 33% of teens who had been in or known about an abusive relationship told anyone about it. What you can do if you know your classmate is being abused Find a teacher you can trust and tell him or her what your friend is going through. Ensure these teacher will not confront Let your friend open up to you as much as you can. It is the beginning of the healing process Please contact one of their parents. Even during the holidays, and tell them what your friend is going through. The biggest hindrance for victims of abuse is shame. They usually cannot bring themselves to tell authorities how they are suffering. Please contact Gender Violence Recovery Centre For more help+254719638006
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and become a fan
Rihanna
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and become a fan
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VANESSA
MDEE
search: the insyder magazine on
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WHY THIS SONG BAMBAS
Just ess
pr y pla
It is going to be EA’s hugest hit of 2016…and you have the lyrics here exlusively
Zigo (Remix) ay Ft. Diamond Platnumz [Verse 1 – A.Y] Picha linaanza nshadata Picha linaanza nshawaka Picha linaanza nshachanganyikiwa Picha linaanza nshadata Ukweli mie amenikamata Kwa jinsi navyomuangalia Akinipatia nami sitamuacha Kwa nyuma ananipa mineso Moyoni ananipa mateso Wa kishua ila matendo ya ghetto Mtamu na hapendi vya dezo Nakula kwa macho, 5 star girl si mchezo Emu ona, emu ona
Sodoma Kiuno kama nyuki, dondora Maneno ya watu sumu yana hila Wasije leta referee ka mpira Chunga katu usije ukanzira Nkashikwa na uchizi yaani utaila (Rooh!) Mtoto yani mukidi mukide Mpaka ndani shigidi shigide Hasa aki-lick D, lick De Ye ndo mama Chibudi Chibude eh
[Hook – A.Y] Ukweli mie amenikamata Kwa jinsi navyomuangalia Akinipatia nami sitamuacha
[Bridge 1 – A.Y] x2 Too se-too sex yeah man Buzye-buzye ni amani Mungu ameumba hapa, yeah man Natamani nikaseme nae, yeah man
[Verse 2 – Diamond Platnumz] Aa aah ana rangi flani ya kimanga Lugha lafudhi ya kitanga Usiombe akapita na khanga (wu!) Nyuma figusu majanga (wu!) Ana mwendo wa kung’onya Tena alivyoshona Umbo kama katuni wa kuchora Aah Singida-Dodoma, kitandani
[Hook – A.Y] Ukweli mie amenikamata Kwa jinsi navyomuangalia Akinipatia nami sitamuacha
[Bridge 2] [A.Y] Naamini amezaliwa ili mimi niwe nae eh Mpaka sasa nimechanganyikiwa Akaja ye awe nami [Diamond Platnumz] Mutoto yani mukidi mukide
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Mpaka ndani shigidi shigide Hasa aki-lick D, lick De Ye ndo mama Chibudi Chibude eh [A.Y] Naamini amezaliwa ili mimi niwe nae Mpaka sasa nimechanganyikiwa Akaja ye awe nami Iwe iwe iwe Iwe iwe hii ndoto Ni tamu mpaka utamu umepitiliza Akikaa na wengine wanachukiza Shika leka dige yeah man Ngoja niongeze bidii yeah man Ukute hili zali langu yeah man Nikapige masinema nae yeah man Sheaaa! [Bridge 3 – A.Y] Yessaya! Nakula kwa macho Kwa macho Nakula kwa macho Kwa macho Nakula kwa macho Kwa macho [Hook – A.Y] Ukweli mie amenikamata Kwa jinsi navyomuangalia Akinipatia nami sitamuacha
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