CONTENTS Which CHAT Awards category has the most compe?
What’s Sizzling This Month
Star Dust Young Money
Funkie-licious TV (FTV) Sniper
pg 34
Beauty and The Sun pg 36
Chronicles 254 Ever wonder KASK
SLY
Teeniez Most Exciting Play/Dance will be a tight race
The Teeniez’ Sizzlin’ Music Video Category
pg 4
Pink Diary Strictly Siz
T-9 Playa Prezident
Fake It Till You Make It pg 46
Angel 0r Devil pg 12
ON THE COVER: Brand New Stars
THOME
Definitely Teeniez’ Brand New Artist; Avril, Marya, Habida & Eko Dydda
JIMMIE Teeniez’ Male Artist, compe ni noma!
The iMC’s Coolest April Moments
Make-up by ALEX VAKUMO, Vera Beauty College
Hi! The holz are here with us after what I can only describe as the most funkielicious
The Holz are here!
term, hopefully term two will have the same momentum. Things are bound to heat up as
Yipee!
skools battle it out for supremacy at Drama
Drama Natioz
Tamima
Compe iko juu
Natioz. This month we take a look at the
Main Feature
So not co ol
Cover Story young ones who are rolling in big bucks in the entertainment scene M.O.G - The Best Of
internationally and at home, learn a thing two from them on Both or Worlds how to roll in that paper and spend it! As you countdown to CHAT
Natural Disasters around the world
check out Street Style for tips on how to Bling It On Like a Celeb on
Very Sad
the red carpet. We’re also talking about sex, reason? It’s the holz Chaguo La Teeniez Awards!
l coo es Tr
Bring Out The Bling!
and temptations are lurking in the shadows, check out Ed’s Head and be armed with the info to make the right choices! Enjoy iMC
I-Qru Funkie Moments
The Insyder Offices:
On the cover: Marlaw, Marya, Habida, Avril & Eko Dydda
Joseph Kangethe Road, Tel: 3861649/3861623, 0718 000 002, P. O. Box 51634 - 0200, email: yuaholla@theinsyder.com
a l l o H a Yu with
If you want to feature in the magazine, give us the scoop on your school: The hottest funkie, coolest peeps and all the low down. On your mark get set spill...
Thanx For The Credo! Mang’u Are On Top
Mang’u victory
Vipi Insyder, Glad you guys showed up to the floodiez and witnessed Mang’u taking home the cup. Even after the hiatus we still got it.
Tumerudi full force! Thanks for all the support you showed the playing teams. Watch out for us at this year’s natioz. Kama ‘Mgully’ Mang’u
Hi Insyder! You peeps are just the best. I participated in one of your compes on facebook and I actually won. Thanx for the credo! I now believe those compes are genuine and I will never miss an opportunity to participate in any of them. Good job! Shix (404) Hi Shix, You’re welcome and remember to invite your pals to become fans of the ‘The Insyder Magazine’ on Facebook.
Watch This Space
Hi i-Qru, Hi Kama, We’ll definitely be on the scene, all the best. iMC
Sketch Hi, I noticed you feature teeniez drawings on this page so I was hoping you’d also check out mine. Real talent. No tracing. This is one of my role models. Sketch (404) Buru
Sketch’s Martin Luther drawing.
Hi Sketch, Good work! iMC
slang’r Mkuchu corne Origin: Depths of Huruma
Meaning: Money
I still can’t believe Mang’u had the audacity to diss BOMA in the Feb issue. Those dudes better watch this space. Ati the desert warriors Paleez! How lame. We always lenga their vybe coz they suck and that’s why they decided to diss us. They best be expecting a major diss even if it’s not from us. Adhis (304) BOMA Adhis, Those are some strong views; feel free to send us your come-back to yuaholla by mail or email. iMC
Holla @ Us! Got a point to make, opinion to share or simply wonna rant and rave? You’ve come to the right spot; Yua Holla is the platform that gives all readers of The Insyder the opportunity to share and express their thoughts on just about any topic under the sun. Hit us up on: yuaholla@theinsyder.com SMS: 0718 000 002 Online: www.theinsyder.com
As used in a sentence
1. Nataka mkuchu za kubuy tickets za Chaguo la Teeniez Awards 2. Manze nahitaji mkuchu kubuy cladi ya kubling nayo Chaguo.
The Write Choice.
a l l o H a Yu with Poets Platform
SHOULD I?
They said I’m like a flag Swooshed by By the peer pressure I sat down to measure The allegation, Only to discover it was The truth!
Poster Diversity
Xtine would love an Alaine poster
Word up Insyder! How it do? My name is Xtine from Shiners. I like your posters but I think there should be more diversity. I noticed you prefer putting RNB and Hip-hop artists over Rock and reggae artists. Pleeez give other genres a try. I would just love an Alaine or Coldplay poster. What do you say? Xtine Shiners Hi Xtine, Your wish is our command. Keep it locked right here. iMC
I saw her date the ‘hottest’ guy In town She laughed and asked what I was waiting for I wondered why I bore the ‘Miss single’ title And again I hesitated and asked myself Should I? How can I stop being A flag Can I really resist the wind? And come out the strongest Amongst the other ‘flags’?
Loved the lyrics Hi, lyrics column (wordplay). I Thanks for bringing back the nna and when I saw lyrics to loved it. I am a big fan of Riha is so creative and I think her ‘Hard’ I was so excited. She s hope you’ll feature her lyric I rated R album is just dope. more. Thanks again! Sue (204) Ngara
Seralynn Nagero (404) MOI GALZ ELDORET LIFE
My life is what I choose it to be, sweet or bitter as gall can be, surrounded by walls that threaten to crush me, my life only I can save.
Sauti Sol
Brought into this world as small as I was, My life I started to shape from the moment I spoke, Whatever I said determined my future, Bright or dull ;my life would be.
Hi y’all! I am a big fan of your mag and I like how you always got info on celebs. I love Sauti Sol because they are different from most Kenyan artists. Would
Misled by friends who became my foes, I weep and regret which path I choose, If only I had done things differently then, My life, I know, would not be the same. Now all left to do is to reminisce, With little hope left, warn my peers of the dangers of life, But at this moment I know one thing is for sure, We are the captains of our boats of life.
you consider doing a profile on them or even a poster? Lilo
Hi Lilo, Definitely! Keep it locked right here. iMC
I saw him puff, I got the urge to waft The smoke, He offered me the cigar And I willingly reached for it, But then I hesitated and asked myself: Should I?
Lilo’s fave band
Sharon Wangari, MIRITHU GEE[104]
Your local Inteenet Log on for all the vybe, the teen reality, the school truths that no one else will ever tell you! Pg 6.........Celeb Scene Pg 8.........Action Reaction Pg 9.........Mchogwano
EVER WONDER 21. Doesn’t Nicky Minaj
have a Jamaican ridim
sound just a lil bit like
to it?
STL?
20. Weren’t we
11. Isn’t Dunco
officially the Gospel
10.
swag jacking E!’s ‘Daily 10?
3. Isn’t Esther
Arunga’s fall from
all hoping that Jaguar
King of collabos?
had more to serve
With the crazy fashion
celebrity dirt yet?
up than the dumb
statements he’s been
Aren’t Lillian Muli &
making lately, doesn’t
Habida the hottest
Looking back, didn’t
Kanye prove that he
pregnant chics around?
Chris Brown’s bashing
was true to his words
1. Have you begun
of Rihanna sky rocket
when he said ‘my
your CHAT count
her career more?
ego is my imaginary
down?
18. Is Ali Kiba really
friend’?
talking about food
all secretly glad that
beef with Prezzo?
in ‘Usiniseme’?
19.
17. Is
Omosh Churchill’s protégé didn’t come
make those Mexican
through with plans
soaps a watching
of a second season
homes?
of ‘Hawayu’?
16. And isn’t it
a cup of coffee or
it was Tiger, then Eric
crying over lost love
now John Terry...?
can go on for three
Don’t the cartoons
A Band’s Ha-He video
video ‘remind you of
6. From
Boondocks?
14. Doesn’t Lady Gaga’s & Beyonce the
Calif artists consider
‘Telephone’ video seem
acting as a side-hustle?
Isn’t Rihanna’s ‘Rude Boy ‘ video just ill?
12.
4
in Jua Cali’s Miaka’
their videos shouldn’t
13.
13
7.
who is Makmende?
like a mini-movie?
7
8. Who
celebrity cheat, first
15. In Just
15
is going to be next
hilarious how making
episodes?!
2.
9. Aren’t we
Citizen TV trying to
staple in Kenyan
grace 2010’s juiciest
18
8
5. Isn’t Toxic the most over-rated celeb in Kenya?
4. Have Kiss
Will M.O.G ever have
TV’s Hot Source duo
a song that doesn’t
Ruhilla and James
Feb
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4
Your local Inteenet
CELEB SITE
The Insyder Miss PB Kilungu Funkie
SCENE AROUND
1. Eko Dydda in full swagga mode 2. Major love for Mejja 3. Kendi’s N0. 1 fan
1. Did Kenzo find Zamzam at Hospital Hill? 2. Marya and Avril chill with a fan at the Sarit Career Fair
3.
1.
2.
MISSING LYRICS
Fill in the blanks for each song and name the artist/s.
Clue: Local Song He’s a Super ‘Yes I’m a big _____________ MC, Super ‘Check out my big___Cause I am a big_____ Producer, Artist:_________________ Super Dj Local Song ‘Siku hizi na dara pages za ______________ ‘Before no, no, haikuwa__________ Artist:_________________
Clue: CHAT Nominee with hits such as ‘Hela’ Clue: A teenage superstar from Jamaica named after city in his country.
International song ‘I see your face ___________ ‘I told you not to leave me_______ Artist:_________________ Answers: Shot, Watch, Time. Artist: Madtraxx Bible, Hivyo. Artist: Juliani Drop, Alone Artist: Sean Kingston
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> >
Number of presenters on Kiss’ Rush hour Number of members in Sauti Sol
= =
Subtract the sum of A & B from C
>
How old The Insyder Magazine is this year
=
Add the problems to find out Answes: Four
April
FAME BY NUMBERS
Solve the problems by doing the math to find out how many Kids Lil Wayne has...
6
Your local Inteenet
April
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7
Your local Inteenet
ACTION REACTION
Austin’s On A Bush Rampage Saves Face
Jaffery’s secure a re-bound against Austins
No one seemed to be able to stop Austins during The Insyder Slam Jam Tournament. They were on their A game from start
to finish, no great shocker though as this team has been on form all through the early stage of the season. Their tournament rivals
Quabbz on the defense against Buru
Hospital Hill taking on Dandora Sec
April
NIS were a no show this time round providing them with a clear passage to the finals. Buru as always exhibited the great form we have come to know them for as they cruised past the likes of Quabbz 50- 1 without breaking a sweat. Melisa and Georgia being the regular favourites dribbled through their opponents like magic to help Buru advance further in the league. They however did not participate in the Slam Jam Tournament leaving the win open for Parky Arya who beat hosts Hospital Hill 1310 in an exhilarating match. Other games in the ongoing basket ball league included the Upper Hill versus Malezi game that ended 68 – 30 to Upper Hill’s favor. N.I.S out classed MFA 77 – 30, Lang’ata High Girls beat Pangoe 66 – 42, St. Gee beat St. Austin’s 38 – 16 and AQ shaved close against Jaffery’s to win 58 – 41.
Parky Arya on the defense against St. Elizabeth
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The Busherian b-ball team that took home the trophy
With the mad game that Bush started out with in their rugby matches this year one would think that they woud at least have the decency to defend their home title in the Bush Tens Tournament but this was not to be as were undone in the semis to a formidable Musingu going down by just 3 points to end the match at 17-14. They were saved the humiliation of a complete defeat when their b- ball team took down N.I.S in the finals of the
b-ball tournament and their star guard Samuel Mogoko (404) took home the well deserved MVP trophy. As the league dredges on this will surely be one of the players to look out for. The girls’ b-ball tournament was dominated by Laiser Hill who seemed to out muscle and out gun the St. Francis team. Despite their defeat St Francis’ player Jacklyne Muchiri showed some pretty impressive skills on the court.
Jubilation for Musingu after taking down Bush and advancing to the finals
Your local Inteenet
upstate news
No Swa for Maasai High? Swa is our national language and is a prime subject in most schools but a reliable source tells us that unfortunately it ain’t so in Maasai High. The privately owned skool was tops in Bio and Math countrywide in last year’s K.C.S.E exams but performed quite dismally in Swa. Our source tells us its coz the skool admin has some pretty bizarre rules on Swa. Apparently, students in the skool are only allowed to speak Swa only during official Swa lessons and if anyone is found
talking in Swa when it’s not class time, they’ll get a panoe. Ati the admin has ‘hired’ some snitches in the student fraternity to spy on their Swa speaking peers and bring them forward. If busted, one is forced to wear a really hideous wood board with the declaration: ‘I am a fool, I speak in vernacular.’ You are then given a panoe of intense general cleaning around the school for the whole day that means no class for you. It’s even worse for those found speaking in REAL
Maasai Girls celebrating their KCSE performance
vernacular. Swa as a subject in the school is not a big deal and sometimes, another subject takes its place in the timetable. The students have now settled for mad cramming a week
New Beef for Ditchez that a Mbuguti dude stole a bag from their bus. It then followed with some ugly remarks from Ditchez on Mbuguti being a ‘Mushatha’ (bunduz) skool and other explicit stuff. They then went for Texas ati coz they were ‘hanyaring their chics’. Now the beef has really escalated and it doesn’t look good. We hope with a new term coming up, these skoolz will end their feuding.
before sitting a Swa test. According to the admin, this is an effort to ‘raise learning standards’ as most subjects are based in English and thus they want their students to
Skirt Mania in Komothai Gee Up until recently, chics from Komo (Komthai Gee) were known for their (in) famous teeny weeny blue skirts that were tight like a second skin! But with a change in the admin, those skirts are now history. In their place, chics from Komo are now subjected to wear Amish (A-line) like skirts with pleats. According to the
Mbuguti Hae beefing with Ditchez
Seems like Ditchez’ love for beef has taken on a whole new level. As if there already ongoing beef with AQ, Mang’u and Changez is not enough, these cats have now started brewing trouble with
Mbuguti Hae and Texas (Muhiri Muchiri). In recent funkiez, Ditchez have been targeting these two skoolz and roughing them up for the dumbest reasons. It all started with some Ditchez dudes claiming
April
Ditchez beefing with Mbuguti Hae at a recent funky in Mang’u
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excel. They also claim that the job market is more accommodative to those fluent in the English language. What do y’all think? Is this logic?
admin, the longer the skirt the better your chances of not being in the ‘black book’. You’d be forgiven to think that those chics won’t dare alter pleated skirts but noooooo they just had to try and make them more ‘fashionable’ but obviously it was just disaster in the making. The altered skirts took on some funny forms and couldn’t be worn anymore. The culprits, (Mostly 304s and 404s) have now resorted to stealing skirts from poor 104s to replace the damaged ones. The T.As have now started impromptu searches to track down the skirt thieves. Komo Gee funkie-holics are having a really hard time showing up to funkiez with their new skirts. We hope they’ll finally get used to their new skirts.
Your local Inteenet
MCHONGWANO
Kanunga’s Bile Wrath yourself a new whip.
The boys in brown are back from their hiatus with mad wrath to their haters.
Texas How old are you peeps? Ever since we joined (104) we have been seeing your senior b-ball team attending funkiez for the last four consecutive years. Ama in your school you can be in high school for 8 years?
Kambui Gee You never miss out on the opportunity to blab to anyone ati you are the hottest chics this side of the Sahara. Well, guess what? You ain’t! We have been to your school na mko down sana. What’s the deal with some of you using your ties as hairbands? You are the opposite of beautiful and most of you act like prima chics. Style up and act your agenot your shoe size.
LK (BLUES) Rumuor has it that most of you visited a haunted house and came out looking pretty scary. Horror movie directors would pay a fortune for you to act in their flicks coz you don’t even need special makeup effects to make you look horrific. You undisputedly take the title of ‘gross’.
Githunguri We once met with a group Of junguz during a field trip and told them about an institution near our cool school that seems to have a population that didn’t really, quite, how do we put it? Completely evolve into homo sapiens. They didn’t swallow the
Kiambu Hae
Kanunga to Kambui Gee: “Mko down!”
story so if you could please send us some of your pics, which would be great. On the flip side, it could also earn you celebrity status.
Gathirimu Why do you keep insisting that you are all that when you are not? Darting you chics is like reading a Math book during enta (boooring). You ain’t above us in anyway. Hardcore guys like us need divas to match our status and sorry to say you just can’t reach there.
Ting’ang’a It’s such a pity how you come to funkiez with your archive bus. We actually spotted a fossil of it in a museum and tourists were planning to request an auctioning for the original. Here is a great idea, sell off the antique and get
April
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11
Congratulations on having your water system fixed. Now that you are showering,
the whole Provie smells fresh. To take it further, we can donate shaving materials so you can also rid yourselves of those thick prickly hides.
Banana Hill Is it compulsory in your school to look and reek like coal? You chics need a serious makeover. It’s even starting to affect your brains. Darkness engulfing the cranium -that’s why you can’t come up with bright ideas.
Your local Inteenet
T9 -THE PLAYA PREZIDENT
Angel Or Devil? Ever realized that all your pals split as soon as your chic lands on the scene? They always insist that you come solo with a strictly no babes allowed rule? Have hinted that they don’t really like the chic you’re dating and mayhap even declared that she’s a biatch but all you see is sugar spice and everything nice. If you’re in the hands of the feminus obnoxium beast then you may already suspect it but I’ll educate all “blind” brothas to see the light and save you from yourselves (her).
Biatch Signal 1: Me, Myself & I The only person who matters is herself everyone else exists to help satisfy her needs.
Don’t get me wrong, there’s a bossy chic then there’s the purely evil kind (read biatch) who’s spoilt rotten and constantly demands gifts and attention
from you, she doesn’t get satisfied even when things go her way and never listens to your requests.
Biatch Signal 2: Ice-Queen
She’s manipulative and scheming, always looking for underhanded ways of taking advantage of people or even hurting them. And as proof that she lacks a woman’s gentle soul, she never cries or shows soft emotion. That’s probably the reason you never get invited to hang out with your pals and their chics.
Biatch Signal 3: Terrorist
There’s a bossy chic then there’s the purely evil kind
N po rvi l A
She may be all sugar and spice when you’re around but as soon as you turn your back she shows her true colours. She talks at people not to them, shows no compassion for others, thinks kids are a nuisance and
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12 12
will never miss an opportunity to belittle or criticize others from their look, the way they dress to their social background.
Biatch Signal 4: Her Comments
She will say little things to you like “Why do you hang out with Scott? I just don’t see you guys as friends”. To this you will think: “What does she know? Scott has been my man for years; he’s bailed me out of many situations”. Then you shrug it off. Then to Scott one day at lunch she may ask in a certain tone “So where did you and my boyfriend meet?” or “where did you say you live again?” Scott probably thinks to himself “Wtf is this bitch’s deal?” The whole time you don’t realize what’s going on, so you miss it.
Biatch Signal
5: High Maintenance She always picks where you hang out and it’s always expensive plus she never pays so you’re stuck footing the bill. If you even dare bring this up she’ll accuse you of being cheap!
Biatch Signal 6: She’s a Flirt
So you’re her boyfriend but that doesn’t stop her from flirting ridiculously with other jamaaz in front of you to even comparing and belittling you in front of them. Having babe problems and need advice? Send your questions to the Playa Prezident himself, Mr. T9 on yuaholla@ theinsyder.com or simply call 0718 000 002
Your local Inteenet
tumechill
My Chill Factor is... SELF CONTROL
RUDGE
Name: Jacqueline Muchiri Age: 17 yrs (404) School: St. Francis Mang’u
Name: Emmanuel Osinde (Manu) Age: 18 (404) School: Patch
Jackie is one of the star players of the St. Francis b-ball team. Watching her on the court, it’s crystal clear that this gal has got mad skills, aggression and passion for the game.
Manu from Patch loves sports especially rudge. He is part of Patch’s rugby team: Patch Machine. When he’s not on the pitch playing he’s working towards building a better future for himself.
“I love having fun and enjoy hanging out with dudes more than chics. Playing b-ball with dudes is way more challenging than with girls and dancing to ragga is so much cooler with dudes. As much as dudes are fun to be around there’s plenty of temptation and if a girl doesn’t watch herself she can end up in all sorts of trouble. Engaging in sex at this age is almost suicidal and can jeopardize my future. I’m not ready to ruin all that for just a few minutes of fun. It’s all about selfcontrol. NIMECHILL!”
int guard of Jackie is the po g’u St. Francis Man b-ball team
“Rudge plays a huge role in my life. It keeps me fit and also helps take my mind away from the temptation of giving in to peer pressure. Most teeniez engage in drug abuse and risky sexual behavior for the thrill of it and also to look cool in front of their pals despite knowing all the negative consequences like STDs, HIV AIDS and unwanted pregnancies. I know better and have big plans for my future; I hope to become a lawyer. Achieving my dreams begins with the decisions I make now, NIMECHILL!”
Jackie with some of her teammates
Are you a teen who is chilling and proud of it? Make a statement by telling us what your chill factor is and also help other teens to make the right decision. Holla at us at email address: yuaholla@theinsyder.com (ATTN: Tumechill ) or write to us via The Insyder P.O. Box 51634 - 00200 Nairobi 13 April
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at Manu and pals Mang’u Open
Patch Machine cheering squad
Your local Inteenet
HECKLER
Marching Out And About
The things people will do to keep their eyes on me!
The holz are finally here and what a term that was! All those funkies I’ve been attending have made my pretty head exhausted and I’m hoping to relax and chill out as I recharge for my V.I.P Style electrifying presence at CHAT on April 17th. Back to my funkie scene trotting, I attended quite some memorable ones like Buru open. The ‘timbaland’ babez were hosting their annual sporting event. The place was kinda packed and I was really surprised
to see Austins and Turkish Light around. They were keeping a low profile and were reluctant to hang out of their ‘circle’; I’m guessing the O.J, Jahmu and K-south crowd had something to do with it. It was just pure comedy seeing how some chics from Austins kept fleeing to their bus whenever a Jahmu dude attempted to approach them. I wouldn’t blame them though, because there was a weird dude from Jahmu by the alias ‘Gadafy’ in a the most atrocious get-up; a dirty kanzu, a torn
Jahmu tie paired up with dusty “akala-like’ and for the ‘cherry on top’ of all that mess, he had a ‘walking stick! What was even more appalling was that that little pest was walking around like he owned the place and even had the guts to try and flirt with the ME?! There was lotsa entertainment and the T.A’s were up and down trying to fish out players from the dancing crowd and force them to go to the pitch. Ngara chics were having a field day trotting and dancing away in their little blue shorts. If it was part of an attention scheme, then it worked coz AQ and Ditchez stopped beefing to come and check out the galz do their thang. Buru on the other hand unleashed their ‘Rude gyal swag’ by booing off some guest artists who just wouldn’t get off the stage and to put it lightly weren’t exactly easy on the ears.
Mafans at PB Kilungu
April
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The next weekend I was off to Choxx. The chocolate babes were having a pageant and the i-Qru was in the house. The reception I got was off the handle! Those chics sure know how to treat royalty. It was all eyes on me when I walked in. The hall was packed like whoa! Surprise, surprise, the Gadafy guy was around. Only this time he wasn’t draped in any crazy get-ups. The model parade was hilarious as there was a chic who kept being booed by the crowd. I felt sorry for the poor thang’ coz she looked OK to me. The winner of the day was a sassy 204 by the name Goretti who tried out last year but didn’t hack it, I guess she showed them! Performances by Kenrazy and Mejja were on point and the two had a hard time
keeping the crowd at bay. Man! Choxx chics and guys from Njiriz need to get a grip because grabbing the artists is so not cool. I thought that was the climax of groupies behaving badly until I hit PB Kilungu for their Miss PB Kilungu funkie (read concert) and one chic literally dandiad Mejja. As if this wasn’t enough reaching that skool is a task in itself and those chics decided to have their ‘kaconcert’ out in the scorching sun with no tent for V.I.P’s! Those chics probably knew I was going to outshine them with my swag and decided to scheme against me but nobody can dim out the shine of my star because as per kawa, dudes were begging for my digits but y’all know how that story goes; I don’t want no scrubs! People, pleeeez just get a grip on reality.
The stunts people will pull for my attention!
NILE ROAD Ashi Reena(304) to Chris AQ Luv u boy more than you can ever imagine. Ida (204) to Ahmed Kadzo I luv u no matter the circumstances Shix (404) to Brayo My love 4 u is forever UBA Nexus (404) to Liz (204) Gitwe Babe, I luv u lyk whoa. Marish Bwoy(304) to Fatima (404) Muslim galz Luv u siz!!! Mark Mavado (304) to Alicia Diva(204) Marion school Hi darling! Ur more of an angel in ma lyf. A jewel in ma heart. Luv u mwaaah! chop hard NAX Cyrus (404) to Vic Wambui (304) Wambasa Gee Luv u lyk crazy Jaycee (404) to Emma (404) Bush Luv u. THIKA HAE Timo (304) to Sheila (404) Kambui Galz Ur kisses r hotter than fire. Miss ya lips mob luv.
Roba (304) to Lynn Dee (204) Bush Luv u 4eva n chop hard. ARYA GEE Kaytee (204) to Joey Kariuki U complete me…luv u. Sharon Mwas (404) to Mwas(404) Kiambu hae I can’t wait 2 cu this holz. Mob luv MARANDA Rio Kartel Asa (204) to Leonorah Booker academy I bliv in luv at first sight Bishop (404) to Irene Wanja Ur beauty is undeniable…luv u gal. STABHS Dru (404) to Natasha (404) Komothai Luv u gal…u mean so much 2 me. Raphael (404) to Rita (404) Redsville Kwako nimedata sana. Mob luv
TING’ANG’A Erico (304) to Camilla (204) Mirithu Truly profound my luv. U’ll always be my sweetest desire mwaaaah! Ngei (204) to Vero (304) Gal u make my life so sweet I luv u lyk crazy.
KHASLIM Mdge Wamboe (404) to Starch Gee & Bee CONGRATS!!! We da best. Next K.C.S.E tutawakilisha
MBUGUTI HIGH SKOOL Tanker (404) to Diana Mumbi (former 404) 09 Wah!! Hiyo grade si mchezo. Congrats.
MISIKHU Vanita (404) to Roy Onditi Hi bro, congrats on ur success. Angel Alaine (304) to Sandra Vihenda Wow! Siz ur performance K.C.S.E was just exemplary.
DON BOSCO BOYZ Edu ‘Arshavin’ to Ciku (ex-can 404) Uthiru Congrats! Naskia unaenda majuu Karanja (404) to Graicey Marete and Viola Warembo, Kudos for ur good results
RAE GALZ Irene Sheldo (404) to Oti (Former 404) Maseno Hi dear, congrats on ur good performance
TURDOR Wayinde Sudi (404) to Rozie (404) excan Mary leakey Siz, am so proud of you. I hope 2 excel like u. Congrats sana.
ST.FRANCIS Aggy Jayden to Farook Jayden ex-can 404 Makini Told u, ulinail hizo papers. Good job Collo to Audrey Happy birthday beautiful. Shikoh Mbatia to Jamel Mumina Happy birthday precious. Patrick Sirelo to Melissa Akinyi I hope you have greatest ever bday.
STATOE Emmy Diaz to Alvin Thanx 4 da support mob luv Audrey shix (404) to Jamal (404) Mswop Aisha (404) to Josh Highie The greatest ship I have sailed on is our (304) Ditchez Day after day I keep u loving friendship…luv u. more. Talisha (404) to Vicky (404) Easich Diva Hustler (404) to Caleb We never go to do it…mob luv. Norah babez (404) to Kim sonko (304) Pabloz (404) M.F.A Swity mob luv Yala Annie Farrah (404) to Oti Superhuman! Mwah! Luv u. Spice (404) Chania Roxxy (404) to Benso(404) Parky Am already yours baby so luv As long as the sun shines, we have every reason to be more than friends. me 2 da fullest Estherlynn Inez (404) to Alex Luv u boy. (404) Jahmu Ciku (404) to Henry I’ll never trade u 4 anything. Still got the ring. Baby luv u. Kisses. Mob luv Ida Shix (404) to Thiga Ras (404) Shiko (404) to Makaveli (404) Kanunga Domus Marie Chop smart baby. Miss u baby. Nimo (404) to Vaughn (404) Changez If I lose you I will lose a part of me coz I luv u videadly Wanipa fintiva baby mob luv Alaine (404) to Shazzy (204) Suzie (404) to Dan(404) Makini Ngara galz I sent u an angel with gifts of my luv. Luv u always siz. Kendi (404) to Kimani (404) Thika Ivy Anne(404) to Hamud Apology accepted. Miss u much luv u (404) Light academy 4ever Mob luv Bresh (404) to Ryan (404) Austins Mob luv baby
ST. IGNATIUS Amos (404) to Ivy Am setting the record straight. Please forgive me. The sun is always brighter after the storm. Luv u gal. Simo (404) to Angela (204) Hill skool Eldy Jst wntd 2 say how sorry I am 4 causing u all that stress. Jonnie (304) to Hellen (404) I really miss u…we need 2 talk n resolve Issues coz am truly sorry
DITCHEZ Kelz (304) to STL (404) Ngara Miss u lyk crazy gal holla! Lets just 4get what happened and move on Cayvo (404) to Shamim (404) Msa Sijui mbona these days unanilenga hivyo kama nilikukosea then iza and I hope we can work out something.
LWAK Tamara Achieng (204) to Willy Orlale (204) Maseno Hi, I dnt have much 2 say bout last holz am so sorry let it go honey. Miss u lyk crazy. Princess Suzzy Dee(404) to
Ernest I knw I hurt u baby and am sorry so I hope u can 4give me. May Wendo Auma (404) to ‘sonko’ (404) Saints Yala Our luv meant a lot so don’t let it go. I’m sorry 4 all I did. Eve (404) to Amos Chep (304) Baby 4give me.
GITHUNGURI Kimani Bishop Tonny (404) to Emma (204) Ruchu I never meant to hurt u baby gal Ngugi (204) to Purity Githeni (204) Blame it all on me. So sorry baby Ramtons (204) to Salome (304) Banana hill Sina wordz ila 2 kusema iza 4 my wrong doing Hussein (204) to Xtine (204) Serarae Sorry 4 what I did gal Anto (304) to Jayne Irungu (304) Mumbi Gee I apologize 4 all I did Mwaura (404) to Zuena Allen Baby gal plz dnt go I apologize
NJIRIZ Eddy Gizmo (404) to Pauline Tiana(404) Luv u gal thanx 4 blessing ma lyf. Kibz(404) to Candy Wambui (304) Uthiru I owe u A LOT! Ur my best friend thanx kwa kila kitu Manuel (304) to Phoebe Nyakio Thank u 4 everything especially…u knw what Eli Zaiq (404) to Essy (404) Kiburia Gee I dnt knw how ill ever pay u back…Thanx 4 everything
KOTTET Quinter (304) to Maimona (404) Thanx 4 always being there 4 me. Ur a gr8 pal Sienna (304) to Dan Marish Esto Niaje thanks 2 sana 4 all ur help Ur a good friend Jayne-liz (404) to Baru I’ll always b gr8ful Bree Leon (204) to Edu Bro Thanx coz ur always there Bancy G (304) to The Insyder mag Thanx 4 entertaining teeniez
Deno (204) to Lynn Wambui (204) Huruma Gee Miss you a lot cutie Wambugu (204) to Farida Wacera (204) Karoti galz Gal, I’m missin u a lot. Kiss via the mail, mwaaah! Haleem (204) Changez to Darvin Ocholla (204) Quabbz Missing you big Lumbasi Joseph (Mux Bee) to Linet (St. Mary’s Sosio) I miss you baiby I need you ryt by by ma syd. Bonnie (404) Mux Bee to Rina (304) KG Ur so xquisite. Passion ya n il always b dreamin 4 U Anastacia (304) to Marley (404) Tala High Always in my heart man Brian (Sigalame) to Lister (St. Agnes Shibuye) Cuzo miss you big Birdgal to Badman (404)
Stan-Johnny walker (204) to Carlynn babez (204) M.F.A Lanet Thanx gal…I needed that Mwas ‘Mavado’ (404) to Caro Cheptoo Gal, I owe u big tym thanx 4 ur help
Niaje thanks 2 sana 4 all ur help Ur a good friend Lizha (404) to Gaur I’ll always b gr8ful Rudegyal Wa Benso (204) to Carol siz Thanx coz ur always there Quincy (304) to The Insyder mag Thanx 4 entertaining teeniez 4 10 years
NG’IYA GALZ
MUHIRI MUCHIRI
4 10 years
MAKUENI BOYZ
Daisy O.(404) to Marcos (404) Onjixe Thanx 4 being a true friend Malkia Achieng(404) to Makaveli Bobby (404) Jahmu Thanx 4 everything Dione Symeker(204) to Winnie Noora Pangoe galz Thanx 4 all ur help siz Nessy (404) to Don (404) Sawagongo Ur my everything. Thanx a lot
ST. MONICA Elaine Ifrika(304) to Karsi (404) O.J Thanx 4 always being there 4 me. Ur a gr8 pal Phatma (304) to Dan Nyayo Embakasi
Watch every step I take, every move I make, every single day, every tym I pray, al b missing you Ivy (304) to David (304) Mang’u For me to say this means u r truly special. Thanx for coming into my life at the ryt moment. I miss you. Brian (304) Sigalame to Becky (304) Butere Gal miss you big long time not seen.
QUABBZ BIGUPS Nelly (404) to Oscar and Alex Mac Bee (404) Y’all peeps have gone dup! wea r U?? I miss you! Mwix (404) to Kevo (404) Patch I jus miss ua presence! Barbara (404) to Saha (404) AQ Wassup, miss ya bigtym!! Ida (204) to Anto (404) Ditchez Aki nimekuhata vizii, stay fly. Zena (204) to Miguel (404) Jahmu Long tym no talk! Break da silence. Miss ya bigtym. Cynthia Mwash (304) to Sammy Ongash (304) Texas Stop killing me with the silence you’ll make me go mad. I miss you! Nelly (404) to Edu, Karis, Sanchez, Gman and Broz (404) Uppah I love you all. Y’all don’t know how much you mean to me!! Miss you
Thuo cay-vo (404) to Xtine (204) Makuyu Gee Thanx 4 being by my side thru thick n thin Biko (404) to Ciku (404) Steph joy Manze thanx 4 u knw what Kama (204) to Lucyanne Princess (304) Kiserian Gee Owe u big tym…asante 4 all the help Thuo Cay-vo (404) to Carol N. Thanx 4 being there
HOSPITAL HILL Garvey Cartel (204) to Anita (204) St. Tito Thanx 4 being by my side thru thick n thin
BARCHEZ HAE 3K to Kingsley Gateru 304??? Whereva u r u r still our pal Lewin 304 to Angel Wanjiru 304 Ngaru Gee Always bear in mind that u r ma best. Lennox 204 to Esther Kazungu 204 St. Gee No call, no missed calls, no txt a u in jail. Mike Omosh 204 to tha Insyder Kru Holla guyz kip it up. U guyz r da bomb thumbs up 2 everybody their na ugotee (A.B) Am a fan of hers. Brian Kim 204 to Lydia 204 K.Gee Everyone listens 2 wat u say, friends listen 2 wat u say but best friends 2 wat u don say. Suzy 304 to Mtu Saba 304 Kerugoya Boyz Tuko mbele…..joh, mapenzi tele cuzo!! Suzy 304 to Johnny 404 Kisasi boys Dara hizo mambuku vinoma, zitoe nyege kabisa, success n missin u a lot. YES , I DO. Suzy 304 to Wezere 204 Kitondo boiz Sasa, its da high tym we knw each otha more. Missin u. Gotcha. Holla durin holz.
MFA Eric 204 to Phoebe 304 Chhoxx Best cuzo ever! Be blessed
Tosh Mutisya (404) to Karisma (404) Buru Manze thanx 4 u knw what Kama (204) to Alyc Wanja Tinde (304) St. Anne’s Muthale Owe u big tym…asante 4 all the help Thuo Ras (304) to Irene Makau Thanx 4 being there
NAIVASHA GALZ Shantrel (404) to Rooney J. (404) Ovotes Thanx 4 being a true friend Anchal Kaveni (404) to Kevin (404) SSS Thanx 4 everything Princess Letoya (204) to Winnie St.Gee Thanx 4 all ur help cuzo Tessy Lynn (404) to Don (404) Maranda Ur my everything. Thanx a lot
CCM Claire (304) to Mum I luv u mum thanx 4 always being there 4 me Janet Njoki (404) to Mum & Dad I appreciate everything u do 4 me Edu (304) to Laura (404) Nax Lockwood Thanx gal!
NYARAGWA GEE Maggy Ng’ang’a 304 to David Ngugi 304 Komo Bee Hi cuzo! Mob! Mob lujv!! Angie of NG to Insyder kru U rock! U r simply mwaaaaaaah!!! L.B.C SALAAMZ Frank 304 to Gacheri 204 Kaaga Gee All I’m lackin is vitamin U!
BLUUZ HIGH SCHOOL Yoyo (304) to Thomas (304) – Aga Khan You and me have a covalent bond. Missing u vimeja. Frndz 4eva. Nelly (304) to Mato (404) – Highie Friends only appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives. Nellian (304) to Alo (304) – MFA Bcoz of da blazing fire in our hearts, tumetoka mbali. Friends 4 G. Racqs (304) to Dickson Mutuma (304) – Memon High Kwani, cant u see that I cant stand the pain of your friendly injection?
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PHOTOMANIA REAL TEENIEZ REAL MOMENTS
The Insyder is spreading some serious love to all teeniez massive. We’ve dedicated a whole page to feature cool pics from all our fans. Show your papparazo side by sending us cool photos of yourself/your pals. Grab a cam and start clicking!
on a The Insyder picharazzi was most photo spree as the i-Qru the of Nai: out sizzlin sport funkies in and g’u Man , Open Changez Open, Buru k Chec . Open Bush and Jam Open, Slam on the were who iez teen of pics the out having scene repping their skoolz and it! at were they e maaard fun whil
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TOO HOT FOR T.V.
Take a look at what stars have been up to Pg 22..........The Insyder & Skiza ChitCHAT Special Pg 23..........411 Pg 28..........New Skool
Bitchfest! ANSWER BITCH
I lost track of what I was taught in Budhism school
Hi AB, I’m sort of an internet geek and I like to socialize on the net. The other day I realized something weird why aren’t some celebs like Angelina Jolie on Facebook? Robe, Saints Robe, That’s like asking me why I’m not your friend! Easy, its freaks like you who seek friendship and what not on the internet who turn out into stalkers like the one who recently harked into my dear friend Avril’s email and
face book profile and tormented her until she almost quit the online social network. So what if Jolie isn’t on face book or twitter? If she was, do you think you would actually have the chance to bond with her? Use your head little man. AB Sup Bitch, Please tell me if this is true, are DSTV really considering starting a porn Chanel? Will it be on part of a special package or will it be available for everyone? Ben (404) Vatchez
April
Ben, I’m not even going to grant you the decency of a greeting you perverted little idiot. You need a serious dose of concentrated brain disinfectant or better yet I will literally blow your brains out and then use the pieces to feed the fishes in the make shift pond in my back yard. I wouldn’t need to poison those little bastards because the mere essence of your aura is enough to pollute an entire sea structure. DSTV is primarily a family viewership kind of satellite station, ama you watch porn with your mother? AB. Hi Bitch, You are totally the best and I just wanted you to help me out a little. I overheard something the other day and I know that the only place I can verify its validity is from you. So, is it true that that Hellon guy has an Oscar to his name? Winnie (304) Kianda Winnie, I regret picking up the piece of trash you call
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mail and far worse to actually answer it. It is achingly disappointing that you dredged up such old vibe. First he announces he is running for President in 2012, then he is BFFs with Benny Hinn and now an Oscar?! Do you even know what an Oscar is or are you just trying to look clever? That Hellon bozo is a jazz musician and what’s more he can’t even speak proper English, do the Math. PS: If you ever send me mail in that eecky brown envelope again, I will personally hunt you down and shove it down your throat! AB.
questions. You do know that you have a search engine on your internet browser called Google don’t you? Or are you just too dimwitted to check there?! Lucky for you I have had a little Buddhist training myself and seeing as I want to wring your neck right now I am going to put my lessons into practice as I school you. Buddhism teaches that a craving for things outside ourselves causes an unhappy and pointless search for security. It teaches me to stop following every impulse and to learn restraint. Obviously I lost track of what I was taught.
Sup Bitch, The other day when Tiger Woods came out and apologized on International TV he said he was considering taking up Buddhism to help him with his “addiction” is that dude serious? How does he think Buddhism can cure his sex addiction? Carol, Statoe Listen here girlie, I have a lot of work to do, and I intend to dedicate myself to doing it. That involves me not answering some of your silly
Oscar Award
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The Insyder & Skiza were on the funkie scene spreading the CHAT experience through ChitCHAT and teeniez got the chance to hang out with celebz and take pics with the CHAT Award. 1. Kenrazy holding it down for his fans at Choxx 2. Reppin’ Pangoe... 3. PB Kilungu CHATfanatics 4-6. Teeniez voting via CHAT forms 7. The iMC awarding PB Kilungu’s best dancer with a Safaricom tee 8. PB Kilungu chics burning it up 9. Eko Dydda with PB Kilungu hottest honiez Stella, Jackie and The Insyder Miss P.B Kilungu Trina Murugi. 10. The Insyder CHAT fanatic Lorna (404) PB Kilungu 11. Picharazzi moment with Miss Size 8 and Kendi 12. Kenzo spreading the love to his fans 13. MFA got in on some of the action 14. CHAT nominees Black Blingers with The Insyder kruspondents Khalib & Estelle 15-23. Teeniez from Uppah, Hospital Hill, Statoe, Quabbz, Changez, Buru, Parky & Ditchez ChitCHAT with the CHAT Award 24. Check out Bone Breakers’ CHAT swag April
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H20 DRIVE Water is life, check out the sizzlin’ pics of teeniez and celebz on the funkie scene and their refreshing H20 moments.
Obey your thirst
Check out the cool H20 gear that these rugby dudes are rocking
G-Money and Beenie Man are Uptown all the way
Brick & Lace at rehearsal
Marya and Moustafa
Beenie Man cooling down the riddim fire
Avril at Changez Open
Representin’ at Changez Open
Check out the H20 swag
Wyre on stage at Changez Open
Kenzo leaving his mark
Teeniez were on a dartin’ spree
H20 was the fuel of choice at Nganya Awards
Alpha ako na yake
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Marya
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Marlaw
Eko Dydda
NEW TALENT RAISING THE BAR “We’re are here to stay!” seems to be the sound reverberating from freshly cut talent/acts in Kenya and the East Africa music industry in general this declaration has been born into what can now be termed as a battle of supremacy as we head into the final stages to the CHAT Awards ceremony. Many showbiz insiders will admit that making it in the music or entertainment industry isn’t easy for fresh talent and successive
mainstream success is never guaranteed. For years and years Award outfits have churned out the same names in the same categories but what will perhaps be the most memorable aspect about the nominees of The 8th Insyder & Skiza CHAT Awards is probably the invasion of fresh acts in categories which have previously been dominated by the same faces. Just like in other entertainment scenes around the
Avril
world is young blood taking over and will the old guns collabo with the new guns to avoid facing extinction?
Habida
Fall of The Mighty Dinosaurs?
New acts have managed to upset the balance of power to such an extent that they’ve eliminated some more established acts out of the final round. Jua Cali’s absence in the Teeniez Male Artist category is like a loud echo. The same can be applied to Klepto’s fall from the Teeniez Group or Collabo category. MAMA Award winner Amani was also notably absent from the Teeniez’ Female Artist Category. The Teeniez DJ (s) category is also full of surprises with previously underground DJ(s) flying higher than established DJ outfits - an outcome that elicited some less than admirable response from one of the dinosaurs in the DJ industry. It seems like one of the grand fathers of the DJ industry, did not take lightly the possibility of losing to these new school cats. Dj Stylez considers himself to be of a higher calibre than those he considers to be underground acts not on his level. Does it take one to have skillz on the wheels or the largest flossing ability to stay on top of the game? Only time will tell. The most notable new acts in the local music industry who managed to win the teeniez’ stamp of approval in this year’s 8th Insyder & Skiza CHAT Awards and up for nomination in the ‘Teeniez Brand New Artist Category include; Marya, Avril, Habida and Eko Dydda.
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CHAT is back with a bang and as we all get ready to bling it up on April 17th at Bomas of Kenya, let’s spotlight some of the acts who made it into the final list of nominees.
Tube Talk It a Tahidi take-over in the Teeniez’ Actress & Actor categories, is this an indication that we need more teen centric shows on the airwaves? In other TV industry categories it was mainly shows from NTV, KTN and Citizen that made it into the various categories a loud and clear call for the sleeping dogs K24, KBC and Kiss TV to pull up their soaks and have more entertaining shows in their programme line-up.
Juliani, “Sitishiki!”
New Kids on the Block
Home Turf Throwdown
Some friendly competition is firing up in the Ogopa camp with Avril & Marya both up for the same award ‘Teeniez’ Brand New Artist’ category. Avril had this to say, “I want to win but if I don’t I’d rather Marya does and if she does that won’t make me feel like a lesser artist.” “I’m praying for the best and I’m working really hard to rally fans to vote!” Marya We spoke to the hot mom to be Habida about her nomination “I’m so excited about CHAT and want to thank teeniez for nominating me and I’m asking them all to vote online, via SMS and even the forms!”
Man On The Spot
Eko Dydda is surely one to watch, this new-comer has managed to bag more nominations than anyone else, a whooping 5 nominations! Is he feeling the pressure? “Yes, there’s pressure, as a brand new artist I’m just honoured to have been nominated that many times and whatever happens will happen.”
We caught up with Juliani who managed to bag several notable CHAT nominations with the most outstanding one being in The Teeniez Male Artist’ category against secular big wigs like Redsan, Nonini and Mejja. “They’ve been in the industry longer and it’s a privilege to have been nominated in the same category as them. Whoever will win, will win it’s up to teeniez.”
There’s always a first time for everything, and for these stars it’s their first ever CHAT nominations: Marlaw,Sauti Sol, Habida, Avril, Marya, Eko Dydda, Allan Aaron, Sadic & Alemba, B.M.F, SK Blue & Ringtone, Shaffie & Slice, Str8 Up’s Tero & Kaytrixx, John Allan Namu, VJ Mosh & Njugush, Radio & Weasel. Let the games begin and may the best man/ lady bag the CHAT Award in the various categories.
Make your voice count! You can vote for your favourite stars via: CHAT forms being distributed in skools all over Kenya. SMS voting by sending a text to 8878 in this format; Vote Nominee Code e.g. Vote B1c2. The Insyder Magazine Website search www.theinsyder.com
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NEW SKOOL
CHAT Special: Game Recognize Game Get to know more on some of the teeniez who made it as nominees to this year’s CHAT nominees…
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Al-SHABAAB
TEENIEZ’ DANCE GROUP’ NOMINEES: DSI, BLACKBLINGERS AND AL-SHABAB
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DSI
Al-Shabaab dance group are without a doubt Parky’s biggest act and are working hard to follow in the footsteps of Parky product AL-Kaeda. The Al-Shabaab dudes were lucky enough to perform in a paying gig in UG last year. “It’s now between Black Blingers and us but we are way better than them. Sitaki beef lakini ni ukweli. They are good but not as good as us. I’m sure they feel the same way and only time will tell. Our CHAT nomination just shows we are destined for greatness,” says Al-Shabaab member Larson (404)
Founded in 2008 at Chesa Bee, (Chesamis Boys’ High School) DSI is the brain child of class of 09 ex-can Arthur Chiluba. He says it has been a dream come true to have made it to the second wave of the CHAT Awards nominations. DSI have been able to perform at various gigs and the response has been satisfactory good things agwan! “I’ve always been a big fan of the Insyder magazine and I am a self-confessed CHATfanatic. It’s not easy for a dance group originally from an up-state school to get recognition but we worked really hard to get that nomination. We constantly sent in pics of us doing our thing to the mag and also posted videos of our moves on The Insyder Magazine Facebook fan page.” DSI have been able to perform at various gigs and the response has been satisfactory good things agwan!
ALABASTER
BLACK BLINGERS
Ofafa Jericho’s gospel dance group Alabster are also up for nomination in this year’s CHAT awards and they are pretty excited on their nomination and they can hardly wait to blow the competition out of the race and to thrill the crowd with an explosive performance that will blow the competition out of the race.
MOHA SMOOTH ALI
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“I’m a ladies’ man, that’s why they call me smooth.” CHAT nominee Moha an ex-can of Highie class of 09, says. Last year he released his debut album titled ‘Welcome to Smoothville’ produced at Plug ‘n’ Play studios last year. “I sold a decent number of copies to friends and family and I was
Black Blingers dance group are the protégé’s of Jahmu’s famous dance group F.B.I and they hope to become just as big as their predecessors. Mike Likulu 304, the lead dancer says the CHAT nomination has been the group’s biggest achievement. ‘We were so excited to hear of our nomination as it was an indication that our hard work had finally paid off. It’s our greatest achievement so far and we will always be grateful for it. We want to grace as many gigs as possible to make our presence felt and show people what we are really about.“ Mike says.
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proud to actually make a little mullah from my hard work it really paid of coz I got the CHAT nomination which is still unreal to me.” Moha says. He’s also been making rounds at musical conventions like the annual Kenyan music week and WAPI trying to make a name for himself. 30
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H C I R , G N U O Y FAMOUS Money makes the world go round. We take a look at the young bloodz who are breaking bank in the entertainment industry. These young ones are rolling in more dough than you can dream of, they are on a crash course on living life on the fast lane, designer clad, dope whips like Bentleys and Maybachs, expensive drinks and over the top lifestyles. It’s all about big ballin’ for Young Mullah baby! Rihanna Pop princess Riri just turned 22. Not too long ago, Rihanna was paid a whooping $ 500,000 to perform at a private function. Do the Math; that’s about 40 million shillings in one night! Her net worth as of June 2009 was said to be well over 30 million dollars thanks to successful album sales and sold out shows not forgetting an influx of downloaded songs and Ad campaigns like Gucci and Cover Girl. This gal sure knows how to spend that hard earned cash; she reportedly spent 30 grand on a single shopping spree on bags and shoes. That’s just the tip of the ice-berg she spends close to a million dollars annually to maintain her figure. She does have a soft spot for charity and gives back a lot to her native home Barbados. Lady Gaga The world’s gone gaga over Lady Gaga (Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta) and her very expensive wacky fashion sense. Lady
Gaga exploded in the music industry in late 2008 and since then, she’s been taking over the industry. Her debut album, The Fame Monster was released in 2008. Lady Gaga is a favorite opening act for many artists in the US and her recent music relations to Beyonce has made her an even bigger star. To date the 23 year old has sold over eight million albums and over thirty-five million singles worldwide. Ciara She goes by the gova names Ciara Princess Harris at 24 she’s a talented singer, fashion model, record producer, actress, dance choreographer and worth over $16 million. Ciara signed a multi-million dollar deal with the modeling agency Wilhelmina Models In addition to that, she also has her eyes set on launching a new affordable clothing line. Soulja Boy His gava names are DeAndre Cortez Way and at only 19 years old this cat is stacking up! Besides making a niche for himself in the Hip-Hop industry as an established artist, Soulja Boy is also a record producer. He’s worked with big names like Arab, Snoop and Gucci Maine. He’s made millions on royalty rights from internet download stores songs and from the lucrative ringtone business. It hasn’t been all good though, he’s had to deal with very negative criticism from many Hip-Hop artists who claim that he’ll be the death of Hip-Hop but that ain’t stopping him from laughing all the way to the bank with a net worth of about 17 million dollars! He really has money to blow if he bought back an allegedly stolen chain for 100,000 dollars.
Chris Brown Breezy started breaking bank when he was just 16 years old with his hit single ‘Run it.’ Before the domestic violence drama,
Chris was getting cool mullah from various endorsements like ‘Got Milk?’ and Wrigley which were later axed. Even after all the drama with Rihanna, at 20 years Chris is said to be worth, wait for it….25 million dollars Theo Walcott This English hunk is an Arsenal player and
Miley Cyrus (Hannah Montana) She is a pop singer, songwriter and television and film actress at only age
campaigns. Her estimated net worth is $50 million Daniel Radcliffe (Harry Potter) The boy behind the wizard Daniel Radcliffe
17! Miley is best known for her leading character in the Disney channel series Hannah Montana. She started acting minor roles since she was 9 and auditioned twice for the role of Hannah Montana’s best friend at age 12. She was lucky enough to get the leading role a year later. The starlet gets paid for whatever her famous smile appears on backpack, biscuits, lunchboxes and DVDs to name a few. Miley’s net worth is estimated to be over 25 million dollars.
has enjoyed worldwide fame since he first starred as Harry Potter in Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone back in 2001. The 20 year old Briton is said to have taken home over 40 million dollars since the sequels started. According to Forbes magazine, Radcliffe and the other Harry Potter stars helped pull in about 4.3 billion dollars at the box office. The Twilight Trio: Robert Pattison, Kristen Stewart & Taylor Lautner They’ve all got an impressive acting resume under their belts and have been ranked as some of the best paid young actors in the
Taylor Swift The country singer first caught our attention
a winger in the England national team at age 20. He got a sport sponsorship deal with Nike when he was 14 years old. He became one of the youngest players to ever sign up with Southampton in 2004 at age 15 and played with them till 2006 when he transferred to Arsenal for a fee of 5 million pounds rising to 12 million pounds depending on appearances for the club. He’s one of the best paid players under 21 in the English premier league.
world. Box office returns for the Twilight movies were over a billion dollars and there’s still two more to come for this trio Robert Pattison (23), Kristen Stewart (19) & Taylor Lautner (18). We’re guessing the sky is the limit for their pay cheques. at the VMAs with the Kanye West mic grabbing drama. Turns out she’s really popular in the states. With 4 Grammys to her name 20 year old Swift is one of the best selling artists in US at the moment and is also a spokesperson for various ad
Teyana Taylor Taylor’s first brush with fame came about when she was featured on MTV’s “My Super Sweet 16” in 2007. Her bash was one of the most expensive in the MTV
super 16 history. She got a Range rover sport and had Pharell perform at her bash. She has since established her self
premier league but it didn’t work out coz of work permits. No biggie though. His contract with internazionale is said to be paying him over 5 milli shillings per month!
as a multi-talented entertainer. She is an endorser of Baby Phat clothing which is paying her some insane cash. At only 20 she happens to be a renowned socialite, singer, rapper, choreographer and dancer. She reportedly spent 100,000 dollars on a single shopping spree.
Pamela Jelimo At 21 Pam is among the wealthiest people in Kenya. She started showing a lot of promise as a 104 in Koyo Sec in Kapsabet
Lupita is the daughter to politician Professor Anyang’ Nyong’o. She might have chosen to ride on her Daddy’s success but instead Lupita decided to make her own way in the world and she turned out pretty well. She was crowned ‘Miss Malaika Kenya’ a few years ago and has been able to bag many lucrative modeling contracts since then. Lupita has also worked behind the scenes of Hollywood block buster movies like ‘The constant Gardener’ and ‘Namesake’. Her senior project for Hampshire College was a documentary about albinism in Kenya called ‘In My Genes’ which was an official selection for the New York African Film festival. Lupita is one chic who’s got her money right and she’s barely 23. Samuel Wanjiru He caught our attention two years ago when he won a gold medal at age 21 at the Beijing Olympics. Now 23, Wanjiru
Zac Efron & Vanessa Hudgens High School Musical’s hottest couple and real life couple Zach Efron (22) & Vanessa Hudgens (21) are both raking in some
big bucks. Now that he’s dating Vanessa Hudgens, poor (not in the financial sense) Zac Efron is constantly being compared to her not for important things, like their looks or their wheels. No, Zac’s being compared on his salary. The good news is that, despite this archaic and insulting point of comparison, he can hold his own. They are both worth around a combined 20 million.
Home Grown.... McDonald Mariga 22 year old Mariga an ex-can of Kamu is rolling in big money as a football player at Inter Milan in Italy. He was to sign up with Man-City in a lucrative deal to become the first East African to play in the English
by participating in racing competitions. She struggled with school fees but was lucky enough to finish school in 2007 and the very next year became the first Kenyan woman to win a gold medal in the 2008 Beijing Olympics. She then went on to win the Golden Leauge Jackpot becoming the first Kenyan to do so. She took home a milli dollars! At the time, it was about 82 milli shillings! Since then, she has been raking in good cash in various racing compes. Lupita Nyong’o You know her as the lead character Ayira in the hit MTV-Ignite TV series ‘Shuga’.
is getting paid really well as an athlete. He started professional racing at age 15 and at 18; he broke the Rotterdam half marathon world record. In early 2008, he won the Zayed international half marathon and received 300,000 dollars. Last year, he won the Chicago marathon and received 500,000 dollars. Edith Kimani She was the youngest participant in the KTN reality show ‘The presenter’ at 19. Edith went on to win the compe and with the win, came lots of perks. Besides getting the coveted job as one of the youngest presenters in the station, Edith took home some good paper. Now at 20, Edith receives a lucrative pay check every month for her pretty on screen presence every morning on KTN’s Sunrise Live.
WE ARE YOUNG MONEY Too hot for T.V.
(In Weezy’s Voice ‘Young Mullah Baby!’) Weezy is finally behind bars but the rapper left behind a lot of mullah and is still making it even in confinement thanks to his talent recruitment. Weezy is said to be worth a whooping 100 milli! He made a net worth of 18 milli bucks last year alone and that’s after taxes. He is currently ranked as one of the most commercially successful Hip-Hop artists in the world. He’s most successful venture yet is his record label Young Money founded in 2005 with the help of Birdman and Mack Maine but really blew up in late 2008. With a slew of hit makers like Drake, Nicki Minaj and Lil Twist, Young Money is fast becoming a platinum certified label and these yung’ gunz are some of the biggest socialites in the party scene in US with lots of hard earned cash to spend.
Drake This Canadian-born actor turned rapper and singer had already released a number of mixtapes before getting recognition from young money in early 2009. Weezy then signed him up to his label and since then, he’s been performing alongside Lil Wayne in major gigs getting paid pretty well. Drake released his highly anticipated debut album last month titled after his successful mix tape ‘So Far So Gone’. Nicki Minaj 25year old Onika Miraj aka Nicki Minaj (Barbie Bitch) is Yung Mullah’s first lady and is already making serious paper. Nicki started rapping way back in 2004; Young Money is working on releasing her studio debut album this year which features artists like Weezy, Drake, Luda, Trina and Eve. Nicki has become quite a socialite in the celeb not too long ago; Nicki lost her pink teddy bear and offered 50 grand for its recovery! Talk about throwing away cash.
Gudda Gudda Carl Lilly, better known by his stage name Gudda Gudda is a rapper from New Orleans. He used to be part of the Hip Hop group “Sqad Up” along with fellow Young Money members Lil Wayne and T-Streets. Mack Maine Co-founder of Yung Mullah and president of the label Mack Maine is also one of the key directors of Young Money’s videos. Maine wrote most of the verses in Young Money’s monster single ‘Bedrock’ and helped direct the video too.
Tyga Micheal Stevenson AKA Tyga (Thank you God Always) is 20 years old and a key rapper in Young Money. He is a cuzo to Travis McCoy of Gym class heroes.
Lil Chuckee The youngest member of the Young Money stable. His given name is Rashard Ballard and he’s only 14 years old. Chuckee recently signed to Young Money and already has a studio album titled ‘Child’s Play’. He’s also featured in over 34 music videos as a dancer for various artists like Monica, Nelly, T.I, Ying Yang twins, Young Joc and Dem Franchaise Boyz. 34
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Lil Twist The 16 year old rapper from Dallas Texas was signed to Young Money after Mack Maine saw him rap in a you tube video.
Jae Millz Jarvis Mills aka Jae Millz started rapping way back in 2003 releasing web sensational mixtapes and three studio albums.
Shanell Shanell Woodgett, better known by her stage name Shanell aka SnL is a female R&B singer, songwriter and choreographer. She wrote and featured in Lil Wayne’s “Prom Queen” music video and has worked for other artists such as Jay-Z and Ne-Yo. She joined Nicki as the 2nd female artist to be signed to Young Money.
teentainment at its best.
Teentaiment at its best
Check out whats been happening on the school scene Pg 36-37.......Ed’s Head Pg 38............The Insyder Miss Choxx Funkie
SNIPER
Beauty And The Sun Location: P.B Kilungu
When the i-Qru decided to extend some love to their fans in Kilungu, The Sniper decided to tag along. And a trip it was, because by the time we got there it felt like we were half way to Mombasa but the celebs in tow didn’t seem to notice, Linet and Kendi were engrossed in conversation with the i-Qru minus the iMC who had dozed off and Mejja was lost in the world of his i-pod which FYI has the Backstreet Boys single show me the meaning of being lonely?! Tsk
Tsk. Soon as we arrived it was quite obvious that it was going to be a torturous affair as the PB Kilungu chics saw it fit to have their funkie out in the field with the Nunguni sun hanging low overhead and judging by the number of Gospel Acts on the scene the funkie proved to be a concert. I’m still trying to figure out how performing artists had the strength to jump up and down in that heat. What however had the Sniper rolling on the ground in stitches of laughter was the way PB Kilungu chics were
rudging for The Insyder merchandise being given away and get this knowing the ‘nature’ of their galz the admin saw it fit to hire APs (yes administration police) to maintain sanity and believe me there was great need for the APs because those galz were so hysterical in their ‘luuurv’ that they broke past the barrier when Mejja got on stage and it was far worse when he was off stage as they almost caused a stampede clamoring for his attention. Ms. Size 8 and Kendi also found themselves in a bit of a situation when the cats from
Miss Size 8 was trapped
But she was having none of that!
A.I.C Nunguni pounced on them on stage but all calm resumed when the beauties hit the stage to for an official Insyder crowning, The Sniper has to admit, Trina and her lot were shimmering beauty in that heat.
From left Jackie (404), The Insyder Miss PB KilunguTrina (404), Stella (404)
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Location: Hunting Season At
Bush Open
At first glance, Bush Open was going to be one of the most boring functions of the year but what amused The Sniper most is how everyone seemed to adapt to the animalistic behaviors that busherians are known for. The little Code Red
Teentaiment at its best
SNIPER
Ngara’s socksy swag
DJ on the deck bored people by rerunning the same songs over and over. The sniper counted a record seven plays to QQ’s “Skip to My Lou” and every time with the tired call “SShhhuuuukaaa!!” He even bored the dance fanatics who seemed to sweat more from the skipping than to the games. The art of hunting in packs was in full swing especially with Changerians who kept preying on their victims in a pack of six to seven. The Katchez guys came in a close second followed by the hosts Bush jamaaz who seemed to prefer a tag team attack strategy. The excitement next to the bush swimming pool got The Sniper’s attention and it was a
sight to behold. It was like watching Lion King all over again, to be more specific the scene where Simba realizes he is at an oasis and can’t get enough of the water. It made me come to the conclusion that Busherians don’t get to see water very often and I’m not kidding. After all what’s one supposed to think when an entire mob of Busherians decides to jump into the pool to show case their idiosyncrasy in the water? Please note none of them was actually wearing the right swimming attire unless where they come from the right attire includes bootleg Calvin Klein boxers. The Uthiru Girls T.A seemed to have had enough of watching
his students run lose so he decided to bundle them all back into their rusty seven aside seater. However, the chics seemed determined on the other hand to get hold of as much ice cream as they possibly could so they re-opened the door and there they were dangling from the open truck trying to… (Laughing), you know what, the snippets tell the story.
Location: Swaggalious Slam Jam
Ngara Girls were probably one of the most sorts after chics on the scene which was probably why the little tiff between them and Hospital Hill chics propped up. The funny thing was judging by their attire one could see that they had clearly come for sports but never once did The Sniper see them on the pitch. They were basically just strutting around looking fly, with what they called Ngara swag which involved an assortment of multi colored long and short toe-socks. The Buru-Quabbz game was just hilarious 50 – 1?! This is easily the most embarrassing thing to happen to any Quabberian since the infamous slap and skirt tear by their princi on a stude during their drama
The drag me down debacle
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day last year and I think the babes in blue are going to have a tough time sweeping this one under the rug. The Insyder Slam Jam tournament was all about swag and those in attendance were more pimped up than usual. But there is a difference between swag and drag and especially when you are in the clique that houses one of the greatest dance groups. This one cat decided he was going to be the next Kanye West/ something out of a Matrix video
when he sported what resembled black smith’s glasses. Those in attendance also included; the typical shady fellow, the confused shady fellow, the “drag me down with you shady fellow” one of these creatures accosted the iMC and nearly dragged her down with him (LMFAO!), your geek fest shadies but all in all they did provide the perfect turf war for the 2nd Annual Insyder Slam Jam Tournament. Big Up H.H!
APs doing some much needed crowd control
Ice-cream rush
The Blacksmith
Teentaiment at its best
ED’S HEAD
Sex Lies Decoded
Skool’s out and some of you may have cruel intentions or be the targets of such intentions. Let me skool all you honiez on some of the tricks and lines that jamaaz use on chics to manipulate them into giving in to their sexual aggression.
Myth: “We don’t need a condom I’ll pull out when it’s time” Fact: You cannot tell if someone has an STD just by
Myth: “We started so now you have to let me finish” Fact: This is a classic scumbag move, just like
driving on a highway it’s wise to set speed limits. Know your boundaries and the level of intimacy that you’re willing to reach. He may feel frustrated but the law of nature states that he’ll eventually calm down physically and emotionally. Put on the breaks if you’re not ready.
looking and even if he does pull out, it could leak and you can still get pregnant. Don’t be reckless, if you’ve decided you’re grown up enough to have sex then be smart and take all the precautions.
Myth: “Do you eat sweets with a wrapper?” Fact: Obviously no! Because you brush your teeth
Myth: “You can’t get pregnant your first time” Fact: Just because you’re not sexually active does
everyday! If the scumbag cares about you he will use protection because it is a scientific fact that he can still feel a lot with a condom on. Any exposure to genitalia or body fluids puts you at risk for catching an STD.
not mean that your reproductive system and hormones have gone into long-term retirement, they are only dormant waiting for the right catalyst. The only 100% way to avoid pregnancy is by not having sex.
Myth: “It’s your safe day nothing will happen” Fact: There is really no such thing as safe days, are
Myth: “Everyone else is doing it” Fact: Don’t believe everything you hear. People
you willing to risk your future to find out. If you’ve no stared your period yet you could be ovulating the very moment you have sex but you would never know it.
lie, and exaggerate, and can talk a good game when it comes to sexual antics. In the end, it doesn’t matter who’s telling the truth or not
Myth: “Sex equals maturity” Fact: Okay, so you can’t vote, drink, drive, stay out
past midnight, or support yourself financially, but since you’re having sex, you’re automatically an adult? Don’t think so! Maturity is about a million other things besides sexual experience.
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Myth: Movies and TV portray sex as it really is. Fact: Uhhh...That would be “NO!” Movies and TV
are entertainment, not instructional Sex Ed films, and are designed to give us all an escapist fantasy. Maybe we’d all like sex to involve hot music, great lighting, and no talk of STD’s or birth control, but we can’t forget the difference between this dream world and reality. Sex is never what it is on the big or small screen, or even in books or magazines.
Teentaiment at its best
GAL talk
Hairy Situation, Should I Shave?
Big Siz, I have an embarrassing question. I want to know if I should shave my pubic hairs. I’m afraid to ask people what I should do. I don’t want to be laughed at if I ever decide to have sex (which isn’t anytime soon) and I have all this hair that I shouldn’t have. Please help me. Anita
Anita, There’s no shame in wanting to find out more about your body, so always feel free to ask me any questions .Pubic hair traps perspiration and moisture, making it vulnerable to bacterial growth and a host of other infections. It also helps in protecting the genital organs from the effects of rubbing together during the act of sex.
hair. For example shaving with a razor or even Brazilian waxing! All the best, Big Siz
In primary dysmenorrhea, there is no underlying gynecologic problem causing the pain meaning that your Hi Big Siz, reproductive organs Every time my period are healthy. comes (every month), Primary dysmenorrhoea and every night of the usually reduces first day of my period, with age and after I wake up and start pregnancy. However getting dizzy. I hear the pain can be ringing in my ears, and lessened by use of;one time I even passed 1. Regular exercise out. I always have to especially walking go to the bathroom 2. Abdominal for a while before the massage can also ringing usually starts. help. My cramps are terrible 3. Placing something and very painful. They warm (like a bottle don’t go away for a of warm water) long time, even after I to the abdominal take cramp medicine. area may relieve What’s going on, and is the pain and this normal? If not, who congestion. should I ask, and what 4. Use of pain killers should I do about it? like brufen This is very important In secondary to me to know what to dysmenorrhea, some do next time. Please underlying abnormal Help! condition in the Mercy woman’s reproductive system contributes to the menstrual
“Pubic hair traps perspiration and moisture, making it vulnerable to bacterial growth and a host of other infections” Despite the fact that the pubic hair is important; grooming it is necessary for both men and women for hygienic reasons. But even before grooming it, it is important to consider the sensitivity of your skin so that you think about the appropriate way of grooming your pubic
Mercy, Menstrual cramps or dysmenorrhea can be mild or severe. Some gals/women experience severe cramps which can interfere with their regular activities for several days. There are two types of dysmenorrhea, primary and secondary.
April
pain. Some of these conditions are;Uterine fibroids Pelvic inflammatory disease Use of an intrauterine device (IUD) for contraception. The treatment of secondary dysmenorrhea depends on its cause. Therefore
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my suggestion is you see a doctor if the pain is so severe for clear diagnosis and treatment. Yours, Big Siz
here that I can really talk to. I just think of everything bad and then I get totally freaked out!!
Hi Smallie, I totally understand that it must be a Hi Big Siz, difficult time for you I’ve always been really being confined in one tall, and this guy I like is really short. I wanna area and not always seeing the people you hook up with him but know and love but I’m afraid what my small siz this is all friends will think!! part of growing up. Ivy Please cheer up and try to adapt to your new Ivy, skool, it doesn’t have to When you worry too much about what other be automatic but here are a few tips to help people are saying you you cope: will end up forgetting 1. Try to stop your individual needs/ negative thoughts wants thus denying and focus more on yourself happiness. If positive thoughts. you’ve decided that Think positively this is the person that about boarding you want to date then skool; the freedom accept and appreciate and responsibility. him for who he is. If you 2. Make an effort to really care about this interact socially guy and truly want him with people. Meet in your life then you and mingle with won’t care what other other students people say or think. because you’ll In life you’ll never have discover that they control over other are going through people’s expressions the same thing and or feelings but you can you can be each choose whether or not other’s support to be affected by these system. expressions/ feelings. 3. Engage yourself It’s your life, do what in fun activities is best for you and not that you enjoy and others! available in school Mob Lurv, for example sports, Big Siz joining different clubs in school Hi Big Siz, such as music. I just joined form 1, I 4. You might want know everyone says to talk to the I’ll get used to be in guidance and boarding school and counseling teacher all but I’m so stressed in your school and out that I think it is she might be of giving me chest pains. help to you. I don’t know how to Alwayz, deal with the stress Big Siz and there’s no one
WHAT EVERY GAL NEEDS
What every gal needs
Pink Diary: Find out what the Galz are up to Pg 42-43.....Street Style Pg 46..........Strictly Siz Pg 48..........Superchic
HOROSCOPES
Aries, Get Ready To Shine
ARIES (March 21 -April 19)
You’ll be able to show others just how capable and on the ball you are. You’ll be kind and affectionate, making communication and dialog easier.
TAURUS (April 20 -May 20)
You’ll feel confused so think carefully about your decision, listen to the advice of someone you trust as somebody could take advantage of a
moment of uncertainty.
GEMINI (May 21 -June 20)
You’ll realize someone is trying to create a bad impression of you and will try to catch him or her out. Before you do this, check that you are right.
CANCER (June 21 -July 22)
Your optimism will be a great help when dealing with problems. Believe in yourself and try not to take on too much as you risk overloading yourself.
LEO (July 23 -August 22)
Try not to be too demanding by imposing your ideals on others. Be more understanding and others will swarm around you like bees to a honey pot.
VIRGO (August 23 -September 22)
Pride comes before a fall, be yourself or you’ll regret this later. You’ll manage to solve a problem thanks to your great intuition and also to the intervention of a trustworthy friend.
LIBRA (September 23 -October 22) You’ll tend to lack self control and act falsely purely to get what you want. Moderate what you eat or you could gain weight.
SCORPIO (October 23 -November 21)
March 27th 1975: Fergie, Sassy yet sensitive,
April
Due to your increasing levels of responsibility you’ll tend to react to situations very slowly. Don’t worry about not succeeding you’ll be fine.
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March 27th 1969: Mariah Carey has accomplished a ton in a very short time.
SAGITTARIUS (November 22 -December 21)
You’ll have a different opinion to others on an urgent matter and will find that everyone is against you. Don’t be afraid – you’ll come out of this fine.
CAPRICON (December 22 -January 19)
You’ll give your all when trying to win over a new potential catch but try to be a bit less obvious, live a little room for them to do the chasing.
AQUARIUS (January 20 -February 18)
You will be reproached for some unfriendly behavior. Try to control your temper as you risk making the situation worse.
PISCES (February 19 -March 20)
You may find that you’re actually ready to having an intimate relationship as you start accepting that your inner desires are just important as those of others.
Saturday 17th April 2010 at the Bomas Of Kenya from 10am to 6pm. Advance tickets only Charges, Kshs.500 Regular and Kshs. 1000 VIP
Sizzling LIVE perfomances by your favourite artists.
What every gal needs
STREET STYLE
Issue
BLING IT ON!
Issue
So what’s a fashionista to do when they want to replicate a celebrity’s red carpet look. Here’s a few tips to help can help you get a show-stopping red carpet look that will rival your favorite star’s style.
Star Earrings Ksh.100 Kyla Pratt’s look is simple and easy going yet sizzlin’ enough to turn heads.
Disco Bangles Ksh.50 Each
Bubble Dress Ksh.1500
Pink Clutch Ksh.1500
Ksh.3000
over the edge If you love living life you. Leonna for k loo the is then this pants look em har the off ls Lewis pul effortlessly.
If you’re addicted to your jeans don’t be alarmed. Pick a few style tips from Keri Hilson’s look: bright bolero top, damaged jeans and an edgy pair of boots to work up the right sizzle at the CHAT Awards.
Bling! Bling! Bey’s outfit says it all. From the embelished top, liquid latent pants to her shoes, don’t forget them stunners!
the then this is definitely If you’re a girlie girl core with the the to lish Sty . you CHAT look for ky ht jewellery and fun hot bright colours, brig ls. hee tor dia gla shoes like
Do you want to be an Insyder Street Style Model? All you have to do is email a recent snapshot of yourself to yuaholla@theinsyder.com or join our 42 page The Insyder Magazine and post a photo2 of0yourself 1 0 on the wallpage with the title ‘iModel’ and include Your name, Age and School.
April
fan
What every gal needs
The DeAndre Way Ed Hardy Leather Jacket Ksh. 6,000
Ed Hardy Cap Kshs.1500
Issue
Bling Watch Ksh. 2000
Skull Wallet with Jean Chain Ksh 1800
Ed Hardy Tee Ksh 2000
Men’s Jeans Ksh.1800
White Glove Ksh. 500
Studded Electric Buckle Belt Ksh.2000
Lace-up Boots Ksh. 4500 Soulja Boy’s red carpet style is always on point with the right amount of bling and swag.
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Sneakers Ksh.3500
What every gal needs
fun quiz
ARE YOU A BARGAIN HUNTER?
Discover Yourself START
Most teeniez dream about being celebs in future, but are you really fame material? Try out this fun quiz to find out.
An Afternoon rummaging through clad in Gikosh is…
Fine for me!
So not cool
Would you still shop in secondhand stalls if you suddenly became rich?
You don’t mind shopping at Toi market
Yup. Kwani what’s the big deal?
I wouldn’t be caught dead in Toi
If your fave top cost 20 bob, would you admit it?
I’d boast about it
A
Never I’d say it cost me more
Eye For A Deal
a good bargain Like Wahu, you love out about it. You and are happy to sh d have an eye for like discount sales an ays get the most alw u a good deal. Yo out of your money and you are really good at getting the price reduced to your comfort. Tracking a brilliant item in the most unlikely places is just as much fun as wearing it! Wahu
April
Nope! I’d wear designer clad 24-7!
Of course I would!
Do you bargain on clad price?
Occasionally
All the time!
Garissa Lodge or Gikosh versions of designer clad are just as good as the ones in expensive stalls?
No. The quality can never be the same
Yeah, most of the time
B
All In The Mix
You and Shaffie could be shopping pals. Just add Tero to the mix and you are good to go. You like to mix Second hand stuff and designer wear to create your ideal look. By putting together one expensive item with lots of cheap but coollooking buys, you get the best of both worlds.
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Shaffie
Have you ever saved up to buy an expensive clothing item?
No, I’d rather get lots of clad with my money
Definitely yes!
Do you like dressing like your fave celeb?
Sometimes
Absolutely
You only wear the latest trends in fashion
Not really
C
Of course yes!
Designer Devotee
You are a pampered teenie and just like Prezzo and XYZ member Santoz you love designer gear. You pride yourself on always being on trend, even if all your cash goes on clothes. You believe that cheap equals nasty. Fashion newsflashyou can still satisfy your taste for luxury without ending up broke. Shaffie
What every gal needs
GUY TALK
My Dad Always Criticizes Me Biggie, My parents’ treat me like dirt and my bro like a precious angel I’m just as good as him but he gets special treatment because he is younger. My dad is always criticizing me and saying what a failure I am and it’s really starting to affect me. Jared Hi, It hurts when you feel that your parents are not treating you as well as you would expect them to and especially when you think your siblings get better treatment. It’s quite normal for parents to focus on younger members of the family; it’s almost an unwritten rule. Your parents probably gave all their attention to you whem you were young and now it’s your brother’s turn. However, this does not necessarily mean that your bro is more special than you or that you are not good enough; your parents are simply being parents the difference is that your small bro needs more care than you do. Your parents could also be trying to make you strong and be independent. Sometimes it causes a lot of conflicts between parents and the children if it is not well communicated.
Talk to your mum or a close relative on how your dad’s negative criticism is affecting you to try and sort this out. It’s encouraging to hear that you are aware you are as good as your brother; don’t let this strong part of you go to waste. Be yourself, respect your parents, work hard and improve your performance. Big Bro Biggie, I’ve never asked any chic out and I’m clueless on where to start. I like this chic and I’m not too sure but I think she likes me. When is a good time and how and
It’s okay to be shy but it’s not ok to wallow in your shyness and feel sorry for yourself. So relax because asking a chic out doesn’t mean that you immediately enter an exclusive relationship. Here’s my advice, become friends with this chic first to see if you really like her and if you enjoy her company, the two of you can hang out with all your pals (yours and hers). Bro, from experience it’s always best to ask a chic out in private and never in front of her friends because it could go either way: acceptance or rejection. Good Luck, Biggie
Niaje Kyalo, I understand where you’re coming from dude but don’t stress yourself about this because Puberty is a transition period in your life from child hood to adult hood and different people develop at different paces. Bro, what you have to realize is that you can’t rush it, it has to happen naturally. There are those jamaaz who start signs of puberty earlier than others, and those whose signs show up late. Other people get to even more than 20 years but don’t still exhibit the signs of puberty. So give yourself some time and see if there
“Your parents could also be trying to make you strong and be independent” where should I do it? Do I do it in private online, or in public? In front of friends or not? Dwayne Hello Bro, First thing first make sure that you are really ready to date before taking any steps because no one can tell you when you’re ready to start dating.
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Niaje Biggie, I am 17 years old and I still have a squeaky voice. When is my voice going to become deep? What advice would you give? I could either wait another year to 18 or I could go and see the doctor. Please help me because I am worried. Kyalo 304
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will be a change. However, not all people have deep voice, and so if yours does not change then that is not a cause for alarm. Learn to accept and appreciate your self, and by this you will never be weighed down. Big Bro Walapa Biggie, This may sound
stupid, but I used to live in a really nice house and then my dad left us and we moved into a different house and it’s crappy on the outside. It needs to be painted and it’s much smaller. I’m embarrassed to tell people where I live. Is there any way you can help? Tom Tom, Life is not easy and I’m sorry about your dad’s departure and loosing the lifestyle you were used to. Change is never easy and it always takes time before adapting to the new situation and environment. Having a positive attitude will help you to go through this. Don’t let material things define you and if you’ll lose “friends” because of this misfortune then they were never your friends to start with. Be real and be there for the rest of your family. Trust your mum and talk to her about how you feel. Together you can identify the resources that are within your reach and see how best you can improve your home. Tom appreciate and accept what you have because there are those who are less fortunate. All the Best, Biggie
What every gal needs
STRICTLY SIZ
Fake It Till You Make It Issue
Celebrity takes talent and lots of luck this means being in the right place at the right time. But until you get your big break here’s a few lessons on “celebrity etiquette” to help you sharpen your skills and fool people into thinking that you’re famous!
GET NOTICED
DRESS TO KILL
MISS SWEET Be friendly and nice to everyone because you never know when you might need them. Ditch all names and replace them with ‘sweetie’ or ‘darling’. You do not meet up with people anymore you rendezvous or soiree.
Image is everything; you should aim for all eyes to be on you when you enter a room. When choosing your crew make sure that nobody upstages you in any department.
SOCIAL BUTTERFLY Never shake hands unless it’s the president of the republic, always hug and kiss with a throaty hi! Make sure that everyone knows you are to enjoy perks such as VIP invites.
HAVE AN ENTOURAGE Celebrities never roll alone there’s always someone around to see to their needs take Mariah for example, stylist, make-up artist, trainer, cook... Since you ain’t that big yet make sure that you always have a crew around you.
TALK THE TALK Blu 3 are always looking fabulous
STUNNERS ALERT Mystery is the name of the game, so invest in a large pair of stunners that frame your face beautifully and draw attention so that everyone will be wondering who you are.
Prezzo & Kaz always keep them Stunners on!
This works two ways, your language should be polished and be sure to use words like FYI, TMI and LOL. However never reveal too much about yourself drop the “No comment” or “I’m not at liberty to say”.
Always make an entrance
Noni knows a thing about entourages: P-Unit
AY always keeps his stunners on even for photos
April
If there’s a camera anywhere in the vicinity it should be clicking in your direction. Make sure you get noticed by the right people at every opportunity that you get.
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Tha Teeniez Voice!
www.theinsyder.com Teenwise Media Limited Publisher iMC Tamima Ibrahim
volume 10_number 03_mar_2010 nsyder T he
Editorial Kru
Gr e
Nelson ‘Sly’ Isiye, Maureen Kask, Marcus Itimu, Ken Rufus, Detox Thuku, Liverpool VCT, All Teeniez Massive
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ea t Y rs
Design & Layout Thomas Mwangi
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What every gal needs
SUPER CHIC
Gal Power At It’s Best
Epitomizing gal power
For many 2009 ex-cans, the 2nd of March 2010 was a day full of mixed emotions; excitement, anxiety, fear and even panic as they all waited for the announcement of 2009’s K.C.S.E results. This was to be a day which Grace Wambui Njung’e 18, an ex-can of Moi Gee Eldoret, is to remember for the rest of her life after emerging as the top girl in the national exams. “I always believed that I’d do well in the national exams but I didn’t expect to be the top girl in the country. So when I heard the
Education Minister mention my name on national TV I thought my mind was playing tricks on me. It finally sunk in when I was changing the channels and I kept hearing my name over and over again.” The road to success hasn’t been easy for Grace. She comes from a humble background raised by a single mum in the tough neighborhood of Dandora; she’s seen it all from the bad to the ugly. “Where I’m from, dreams and ambitions may sometimes seem farfetched but I always dared to dream thanks
to my supportive mum and well wishers.” In 2006, Grace joined Moi Gee Eldoret as a fresher through the scholarship program of Starfish Africa an organization that supports the education of bright students in need of financial assistance. She was determined to prove to her sponsors that she deserved the scholarship and thus got down to serious bizna on her first day in school. “I was always asking questions in class and some of the T.A’s and students thought I was a pest but that didn’t bother me as I knew what I was doing. T.A’s are paid to help out students and most teeniez tend to overlook that factor but I made sure I got the most out of it.” Grace emphasizes that there really is no big secret to success. She says that it’s all about good time management and one doesn’t have to read themselves to the bone or stay awake the whole night revising as it’s not healthy and actually does more harm than good because class time is the most important time of the day and
everyone should make good use of it. She’s quick to add that it’s important to have a personal study timetable to avoid last minute cramming during exams. This superchic admits that she made many friends in high skool and also participated in a lot of fun activities and never missed a funkie as she was a club prefect. She even made it to the drama natioz last year in Meru and is a confessed Insyderholic. Grace would like to join an Ivy League university like Yale and Harvard and hopes to pursue a career in the Sciences or a Math oriented field as she always excelled in the two subjects. First on her list is Actuarial
science. She says teeniez should make wise career choices and should not be swayed by parents, teachers or peer influence. “It should come from your heart so that you can enjoy it,” she adds. Before this interview went to print, Grace was spoilt for choice on two job offers one from Equity Bank’s Young Achievers Program that offers one year training in jobs in the banking industry for teeniez who’ve excelled in K.C.S.E and the second from Insurance Regulatory Authority which is offering short term internship and training to K.C.S.E achievers. We at The Insyder wish her the best.
Grace with her fave read-The Insyder
Do you think you display the attributes of a FAY Confidence chic or do you know anyone who deserves this title? All you have to do is write in to us and tell us why you deserve to be in this column. Fill in the your details and attach this entry form and send it to BOX 51634, 00200, Nairobi and you could be a winner. name............................... school...................age.......................... mobile no.........................e-mail..................................................
This
April
month’s winner is
Grace Wambui Njung’e
Grace with David Omondi of Starfish Africa
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