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he two biggest stories of the past month — the Ferguson, Missouri, fiasco, and President Obama’s unilateral immigration order — have America’s attention. Republicans will control Congress in January, but there are ways outside the legislative process to address America’s racial divide and its immigration challenge, if only lawmakers — and all Americans — will do so. As a congressman in Spokane years ago, I periodically visited juvenile jail quietly to talk to the youth there. I usually left believing that these were young people who only needed someone to care about them — they weren’t inherently bad kids. Often they got into trouble by acting out feelings of abandonment, by parents or others in their lives, or because they had suffered abuse at home. The same may be true for society today — from Ferguson throughout America. Young people need to be taught right from wrong, how to deal with authority figures, what it means to be law-abiding and responsible; doing so shows them someone cares about them. Racial profiling by vindictive police forces isn’t the sole cause of racial division in America. My experience is that the vast majority of police officers work to assure that society is orderly and to prevent crime. Certainly there are national examples of police abusing their authority, and such abuse may be race-based. But that abuse is outweighed by overwhelmingly honorable police officers, facing tough duty and danger each day. First responders deserve our respect and our thanks. USA Today ran a photo recently of a scene in Portland in the aftermath of national demonstrations over Ferguson. It showed a young black child being hugged by a burly policeman with a caring smile on his face. The youngster had tears running down his face as he held the policeman tightly. It captured a healing moment that is replicable around our nation, as all Americans struggle with the issues facing Ferguson and other jurisdictions. As was evident in the Portland photo, maybe more hugs are an answer. That picture said a thousand words.

adopt the Boys and Girls Clubs of America and the Big Brothers-Big Sisters models of reaching out to immigrant and non-immigrant children and families, not only to give them a helping hand, but also to educate them about politics and policy. They should truly make them a part of the fabric of America, not just immigrants living here while maintaining their foreign identity. Spokane’s Boys and Girls Club is a treasure, providing youngsters a place to go after school, to be exposed to a loving and safe environment. If Republicans take the lead on this effort, they’ll educate those children and families about capitalism, free markets, hard work and achievement. The United Kingdom has struggled recently with people of Muslim faith emigrating

As was evident in the Portland photo, maybe more hugs are an answer.

ationally, Republicans are in a lather about President Obama’s left turn on immigration. Constitutionally and philosophically, he clearly reversed himself with his convoluted “prosecutorial discretion” legal argument for stopping deportation of immigrants in the United States illegally. In my opinion, his executive order was unlawful. Rather than threaten government shutdowns and cumbersome defunding of government immigration agencies, Republicans nationally should

to England, only to keep to themselves, eschewing becoming British and adding nothing to the national identity of Great Britain. Americans should be mindful of the same dilemma — more immigrants, but not immigrants identifying with America. Such a situation can have far-reaching consequences for any nation that reveres healthy nationalism and long-term cohesion.

recent poll showed Americans about equally divided over how Ferguson was handled, with 52 percent against President Obama’s handling of the issue and 52 percent against the way police handled the protests there, with a narrow margin supporting the federal government bringing civil rights charges against the officer. Obama, as America’s first biracial president, must be careful not to show racial bias himself. Racial discussions are valuable as long as they take a critical look at all aspects of bias, not laying all blame for racial disruption on white bias. Respect for laws and common courtesy between humans are good starting points for needed discussions, whether they’re about racial healing, religious tolerance or conduct that breeds unrest. The Golden Rule is still a good one. There are alternatives to having government solve the problems of Ferguson and immigration. The answers lie within the hearts of those who love our country. n

COMMENT | PUBLISHER’S NOTE

Hitting a Nerve BY TED S. McGREGOR JR.

here’s been quite an uproar over the tiny item in the City of Spokane budget calling for a $7,000 raise for the mayor. David Condon has rejected the raise he never asked for, but not before the flap went into full bloom. Other top staff at City Hall have also seen their raises stripped from the budget by the city council, and we may vote on giving the Salary Review Commission power over pay. Obviously, we hit a raw nerve, as there’s a disconnect between citizens’ lives and the pay levels they are seeing in their public officials. Most Americans have watched their pay stagnate since the great recession hit. And it’s not just here. Members of Congress take big paychecks for doing little. CEOs can run a company into the ground and walk away with a huge bonus. It sets a certain kind of mood. I’d caution us all not to let that ugly mood inform our local debate. Progressive pay, with regular raises when deserved, sets a proper example for the greater community. We should all be proud that our public jobs are jobs the best and brightest would like to hold. Think of it as investing in good decisions and a better city to live in. Whether we are getting either, or both, is another question, however. That’s why we need to be able to judge performance. One reason the raises for top managers were stripped from the budget is that there may or may not be actual performance evaluations of those employees. That’s not good enough. The way pay is set has kind of gone off the rails, as it is, in part, determined by collective bargaining that can be completely unrelated to the mayor. The legislature has failed to take on the issue. Now we’re thinking of handing it off to an independent commission, which could help, but it’s unclear how much. This is an issue that’s going to require deeper analysis. What we don’t need is further fueling of the frustrations over the unfair pay we see across society. I’m OK with paying a little more for better decisions. That’s why I like the idea of the new policy analyst position, giving city councilmembers factbased advice on issues they face. But we all need to ask: Is new spending, in raises or new positions, helping us find solutions? Or is it funding more bureaucracy and the kind of pointless politics that rule D.C.? How we pay our public officials is our business, and finding fairness is going to be complicated. Let’s start the discussion with a level head. 

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COMMENT | JUSTICE

CALEB WALSH ILLUSTRATION

Let Us Breathe Spokane joins national protests over the failure to indict white officers for killing black civilians BY RACHEL DOLEZAL

y now, you’ve probably decided to care, or not care, about the #BlackLivesMatter campaign sweeping America. Translated for black families: You’ve decided to care or not care about us. Joining the national movement calling for justice and an end to police brutality, Spokane has rallied, marched and circulated petitions. We have not been silent. From

the protests this October at Eastern Washington University that started the momentum with memorial tributes to 25 black victims of police shootings, to the formal campus forum about the implications of Ferguson and demands for institutional change, to the downtown Spokane die-in and Mile For Michael walk, students here have set the pace for social justice activism. This renewed sense of purpose, urgency and organized action has mobilized young leaders across the land of the free and the home of the brave to believe that resistance and revolution can in

fact catalyze justice. And it’s not just young leaders in America. Solidarity protests from Japan to Australia and India to Palestine are rallying with #BlackLivesMatter marches, sending messages of support to black families reeling from burying too many sons, brothers and fathers this year. But despite at least one protest taking place daily for about four months solid, some people still aren’t sure what the fuss is all about. If this is you, let me explain. 1. For those of us active in this movement, “fuss” just doesn’t quite cut it as a way to describe the feeling of being systematically brutalized and terrorized in a country that purports to offer the rights of life and liberty to all. 2. Quite frankly, the pursuit of happiness becomes a distant third in the face of these former two rights being threatened, so you may not see all of us conducting our lives in a “business as usual” routine. We are in survival mode for ourselves and our children. 3. Yes, your lives matter LETTERS too. All lives matter. Send comments to But because black editor@inlander.com. teenage boys are dying at up to 21 times the rate of their white counterparts, there is a state of emergency in black America, and it is appropriate to affirm with specificity that black lives do matter. 4) It is important for white Spokane and non-black communities of color in the area to support and affirm the value of black lives. Whether you march with us, advocate for your black friends and colleagues, or join the NAACP, allies in this cause are appreciated. At 1.9 percent of the local population, we need to know that black lives matter to the other 98.1 percent. We notice which teachers, co-workers, bosses, organizations, churches and local businesses show support. We also notice who doesn’t show up and sometimes wonder why. In the famous last words of Eric Garner, “I … can’t … breathe,” there is a metaphor for the asphyxiation we are experiencing as black people in America and in Spokane. The air is thinner for us now; we are not all getting the same amount of oxygen here. So don’t stop us when we reach for the oxygen mask that is hope for justice. Let us say what we need to say, march when we need to march, and hold our kids when we need to feel their hearts beat. Let us be, be with us, and let us breathe. n Rachel Dolezal, formerly of the Human Rights Education Institute in Coeur d’Alene, is presidentelect of NAACP Spokane and teaches courses in art, Africana history and culture at area universities.

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COMMENT | FROM READERS

TOO MANY WHITE FACES I like seeing the cover of [last week’s] Inlander with the different faces of Spokane, and the Inland Northwest. But it’d be nice to see some diversity. People would think it’d be kind of peculiar if the all the people on the front were black, or Asian or any other race, besides white. Probably a good idea to get society out of thinking that this is a “white man’s world.” DAMION COX Spokane, Wash.

In response to Luke Baumgarten’s column “Screw Big Cities” (12/4/14), we asked readers: “Do you know someone who moved away from Spokane to a bigger city, and then decided to return? What was their reaction?”

ANTONIA SARAH TOMBARI: I moved back here from San Francisco and although the progression here is still slow, I’m happy how things are developing and changing in this dynamic town. SAM TALKINGTON: Spokane is a great small town. Young individuals like myself will never reach their full potential living in Spokane, thus I left. Sad that it is that way. Spokane is not friendly towards millennials and therefore will continue to be 40 years behind Western Washington. MURK KWESTIONS: The city is doing a great job. Every time I come back I see growth. All we really need is a light rail running from CdA to the airport. NATHAN DAVIS: I was raised in Spokane and after college I moved to Seattle. I returned to Spokane after four years in Seattle. Recently I’ve been having conversations with my family about the information that came out listing Spokane as one of the top cities in the country for “highest poverty rate among young adults.” Spokane is primed to succeed, but for some reason it always seems to fall a bit short. The problem, however, is a bit harder to identify. Is it the people? Is it the jobs? Is it the government? Is it how our city is promoted? Is it a little of everything? We came to the same conclusion as the author — that it’s really up to the people to make something great. RANDY ZIEGLER: Thank you for lifting all our spirits. It is not about being big or mid-sized, it is about realizing the wonderful, magical things you find where you live. Focus on those and develop those, and the bad will move to the rear. And any city — be careful. Do not outgrow yourself before you are ready. Set infrastructure first. Be ready if growth is the motivation for change. Otherwise, don’t eat each other alive by overcharging or giving bad service to your fellow city citizens. 

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Owner Jacque Gibson Kloehn works to remove a tattoo from Evelyn’s neck at Silver Safari in the Spokane Valley Mall. Young Kwak photo

More Than Skin Deep A woman loses a tattoo to start a new life BY DEANNA PAN

faded tattoo wraps around the left side of Evelyn’s neck. In curlicue letters, it bears a name she’d rather not see. “I thought I was just deeply, madly in love with him,” she says, poring over a stack of paperwork with a pen on a Sunday afternoon. “And it did not turn out to be the case.” Evelyn made her 1:30 appointment at Silver Safari, a body piercing and tattoo removal shop in the Spokane Valley Mall, a few days ago. She’d learned that the

owner, Jacque Gibson Kloehn, had recently begun offering free tattoo removal services to survivors of trauma and domestic violence at a few local agencies in town. Evelyn was at the YWCA, perusing the clothing racks at Our Sister’s Closet, when she heard about it. She did a double take. This was a godsend. “Are you nervous or excited?” Gibson Kloehn asks. “Excited,” Evelyn says. Evelyn is lying on the body piercing chair, her head

turned to the right. Her boots barely reach the footrest. She’s 28. A floor lamp hanging a foot above her head illuminates her face, neck and long, dark hair, pulled into a tight bun. She has a slight scar on her nose and caramel eyes that scan the wall as Gibson Kloehn slips on a pair of rubber gloves. Framed photos of staff. Diplomas. Gibson Kloehn’s certificate for completing her “Tattoo Vanish” training in Las Vegas this August. ...continued on next page

DECEMBER 11, 2014 INLANDER 13

NEWS | DOMESTIC VIOLENCE “MORE THAN SKIN DEEP,” CONTINUED... Gibson Kloehn spreads a thin layer of lidocaine gel on the inked part of her neck with a tongue depressor. “So do you do this a lot?” Evelyn asks. “Lately, it’s been about five a week,” Gibson Kloehn says. Evelyn is her second client like this, referred to her shop from the YWCA. Normally, these procedures would cost anyone else between $150 and $450 per session. “It was kind of our way of helping those victims get over their trauma and move on,” Gibson Kloehn explains earlier. “And not have that constant reminder on their body.” Wouldn’t that be nice. Evelyn hates looking at it. Every day, there it is, staring her down in the mirror. She started dating him when she was 24 — after another piece-of-shit guy left her and her two sons high and dry and went to jail for, of all things, mugging someone outside a topless bar on Sprague. Though Evelyn knew she could do better, this new guy adored her. He plucked her eyebrows, cleaned her kitchen and carried her to bed when she fell asleep on the couch. He was a drug dealer and a “crackhead,” yeah, but he kept that stuff away from the kids. Once, he picked her up in a white suit and a limousine with a tickets to a concert at Northern Quest Resort & Casino. “Let me show you how you deserve to be treated,” he said. He did at first, but he was possessive and jealous and didn’t trust her. After he went to prison, the next guy didn’t treat her any better. She was hit in the face with a wrench. Her nose was almost sliced off. When Evelyn found out she was pregnant with her daughter a year and a half ago, she took off and wound up at St. Margaret’s Shelter. She lost everything in the process — her house, her clothes, her furniture, her trusty old stick-shift Saturn.

14 INLANDER DECEMBER 11, 2014

Jacque Gibson Kloehn is offering free tattoo removal to women at the YWCA, Lutheran Community Services and Isabella House. And good riddance. Evelyn could start over. She got a new house and new things. She started seeing a counselor at the YWCA. And she learned to stop blaming herself for the men in her past. Her counselor would remind her: You are just as good. You are enough. “Everything happens for a reason,” Evelyn says. “Shapes us into who we are.”

ibson Kloehn estimates that Evelyn will need three to five sessions to remove her tattoo. Evelyn doesn’t smoke. That’ll help. Her tattoo

YOUNG KWAK PHOTO

is just five years old and was only inked once. The artist had a light hand: “That helps too.” Gibson Kloehn ties a surgical mask around her head and powers up the tattoo machine. She starts by lightly scratching the surface of Evelyn’s tattooed skin. Evelyn bobs her head to the radio and lightly kicks her feet. Gibson Kloehn applies a sea salt solution to Evelyn’s neck with a Q-Tip. “You actually do have some raised scarring on the heart,” Gibson Kloehn observes. Evelyn laughs. Imagine a little scar in the shape of a heart on her neck. That

wouldn’t be too bad. Ten minutes later, Gibson Kloehn has her hand pressed against Evelyn’s jaw. The machine buzzes as a round of tiny oscillating needles dive into her skin like a sewing machine. It doesn’t hurt. After three kids, little else does. Blood pools in the curves and hollows in the letters on Evelyn’s neck. Gibson Kloehn wipes her skin with gauze. The sea salt solution soaking

“It was kind of our way of helping those victims get over their trauma and move on. And not have that constant reminder on their body.” her wound is tearing open the cells trapping the ink. Her immune system will push the pigment out into a thick, ugly scab. “At any point in this process, if you need me to take a break, let me know,” Gibson Kloehn says. Weeks later, when the bandage comes off and the scab clears away, the name on Evelyn’s neck will be a little less visible, a little less haunting. No need to wear her hair down or off to one side. And soon, Evelyn can get that office job at Habitat for Humanity, or maybe Catholic Charities. Now that’d be a dream. “It’s definitely not as easy to remove a tattoo as it is to get one,” she says, laughing. Evelyn closes her eyes, her lashes fluttering, as the tattoo machine drones over the radio. Those rhythmic pricks. That electric buzz. It’s a sound that almost hums her to sleep. n deannap@inlander.com

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NEWS | DIGEST ON INLANDER.COM More Inlander news every day

PHOTO EYE CLASSY COCKTAILS

SURPRISING WOLF STUDY

A Washington State University study released last week challenged many assumptions on wolf management by concluding that killing problem wolves actually tended to increase livestock attacks in a particular area. The study analyzed 25 years of data to match wolf removals against attacks on livestock. WSU researchers say killing one wolf increases odds of livestock depredation by 4 percent to 6 percent. (JACOB JONES)

A vigil in July for Sheena Henderson. Guest bartender Avont Grant, left, tops off a couple of drinks for a well-dressed crowd at the cozy Baby Bar Winter Formal on Saturday night in downtown Spokane.

TORTURE

“History will judge us by our commitment to a just society, governed by law and the willingness to face an ugly truth and say, ‘Never again.’” Sen. Dianne Feinstein, D-Calif., on the Senate floor Tuesday condemning the harsh interrogation techniques used by the Central Intelligence Agency on terrorism detainees during the Bush administration, according to a scathing new report from the Senate Intelligence Committee.

YOUNG KWAK PHOTO

GUN SAFETY AGENDA

Last Thursday, on the same day that Initiative 594 took effect, the Washington Alliance for Gun Responsibility announced its policy agenda for the upcoming legislative session. The group behind the successful campaign to expand criminal background checks for gun sales in Washington identified six key areas in which new legislation could improve gun safety. One of the group’s proposals includes notifying family members and domestic violence survivors when law enforcement officials return confiscated firearms to offenders. The family of Sheena Henderson, who was shot and killed by her estranged husband at Deaconess Hospital, has been lobbying lawmakers for such a law since her death in July. (DEANNA PAN)

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NEWS | BRIEFS

The Forest and the Trees

SEATING CHART

Idaho would lose out if it took over federal lands; plus, county budgets and committee assignments RISKY MANAGEMENT

A divisive study from the UNIVERSITY OF IDAHO finds the state could lose up to $111 million a year by taking over management of federally owned lands, shouldering increased costs for wildfire protection, recreation facilities and other expenses. But the report from the UI Policy Analysis Group noted that under ideal conditions the state could potentially gain $24 million a year. Federal lands, managed by the U.S. Forest Service and the Bureau of Land Management, make up close to 64 percent of Idaho. Lawmakers have proposed transferring 16.4 million acres of that land to the state to take local control of timber management and access. In eight of nine scenarios, analysts predicted the state would lose money. Gaining revenue from the land would require significant increases in timber harvesting as well as strong lumber markets, the report finds. Analysts predicted the regional timber industry could benefit greatly from thousands of new jobs. The Idaho Conservation League noted taking over such great swaths of land would require increased management of adjacent properties as well as significant

costs for wildfire mitigation, wilderness management and roadway maintenance. — JACOB JONES

THE COST OF GOVERNMENT

fired sheriff’s deputies. Overall, it’s good news for county services. “It’s a continuation budget,” says Margaret Smith, budget analyst at Spokane County. “We have no cuts.” But the budget also reflects that, besides some jail corrections officers, most county employees won’t be getting a cost-of-living increase. — DANIEL WALTERS

Last week, the Spokane County Commissioners approved the SPOKANE COUNTY BUDGET for 2015, voting once again to raise property taxes by 1 percent, the maximum allowed without a public vote. That will shore up the $155 million budget, an increase of about $13 million in expenses compared with 2014. About half of that increase comes from a one-time expenditure for the purchase of two solid waste transfer stations, part of the county’s big move this year taking over the region’s garbage system. The revenue from the system will also allow the county to pay for some additional staff in the treasurer’s office. The cost of “administrative services,” a catchall for a varied array of expenses, is increasing by a third. It includes funds for the joint-use public safety building, an energy loan and various legal and professional services, such as the law firms that have handled arbitration for

The Washington Senate Majority Coalition Caucus announced new COMMITTEE ASSIGNMENTS Tuesday afternoon naming Sen. Michael Baumgartner, R-Spokane, the new chair of Commerce and Labor — to the surprise of the Washington State Labor Council, the state’s largest labor union organization. “Meeting Washington state’s challenges first starts with growing our economy and creating good middle class jobs,” Baumgartner says. “We have a very high regulatory burden. In particular, we have very high workers’ compensation costs.” Last year, amid volatile contract negotiations between the machinists union and Boeing, the state senator introduced legislation to make Washington a right-towork state — a move the Washington State Labor Council characterized as “blatant attacks” against workers. “It’s sends a pretty strong message they really don’t care about working peoples’ issues,” WSLC President Jeff Johnson says of Baumgartner’s appointment. Baumgartner, who previously served as one of the Senate’s lead budget writers as vice chair of Ways and Means, will continue to serve on the Higher Education committee. He also added Health Care and Transportation committee assignments to his schedule to continue his focus on building the Washington State University medical school in Spokane and completing the North Spokane Corridor. — DEANNA PAN

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DECEMBER 11, 2014 INLANDER 17

NEWS | MENTAL HEALTH

Duty to Protect A Spokane case examines how psychiatrists handle potentially dangerous clients BY JACOB JONES

o one predicted such horror — a double murder, a teen’s throat slashed, soon followed by the attacker’s suicide. When Jan DeMeerleer killed his ex-fiancée and her son before taking his own life in 2010, friends and family expressed shock despite years of troubling behavior. Now an ongoing appeals case questions whether anyone should or could have prevented those deaths. A legal claim against DeMeerleer’s psychiatrist, Dr. Howard Ashby, retired from the Spokane Psychiatric Clinic, asserts that Ashby failed to provide adequate mental health care or warn victims of potential violence. Would additional treatment have exposed DeMeerleer’s plans? When should a mental health professional break patient confidentiality to warn others? Can a psychiatrist be held liable for the crimes of clients? Ashby’s attorney Robert Sestero says holding treatment providers accountable for unpredictable or violent patients makes their jobs impossible and threatens their relationships with clients. Even those closest to DeMeerleer missed any sign of the tragedy to come. “They never foresaw the conduct that he engaged in,”

208-391-2867

Sestero says. “Nobody saw this coming.” The family of victim Rebecca Schiering disagrees. After having an expert review the case, they argue that Ashby had a long history with DeMeerleer, including many reports of suicidal or homicidal thoughts. The expert concluded follow-up care or a warning to the Schiering family could have prevented the killings. An Eastern Washington appeals court split on the case last month, handing down a 58-page decision that dismissed some of the family’s claims, but also renewed a complex debate over mental health treatment providers’ legal duty to protect the public from potentially dangerous clients. Judges called the case a “humbling and daunting task.” “All specialities of medicine are both art and science,” the court ruling states, “but psychiatry may be more art than science.”

www.TRADITIONSOFCHRISTMASNW.com 18 INLANDER DECEMBER 11, 2014

orn in 1971, DeMeerleer studied engineering at Purdue University before being diagnosed with bipolar disorder and depression in 1992. He moved to Spokane in 2000 and started seeing Ashby as an outpatient client in 2001. Legal records state he acknowledged suicidal and Could someone have stopped homicidal thoughts during his murderer Jan DeMeerleer? first session and would continue seeing Ashby on and off until 2010. Records say he repeatedly failed to take medication as prescribed. DeMeerleer started seeing Schiering in 2005, according to court records, living together until Schiering ended the relationship in 2010 after DeMeerleer hit one of her young sons. Ashby’s notes reportedly mention several instances of suicidal or homicidal thoughts, but those ideas never targeted Schiering. On July 18, 2010, DeMeerleer attacked Schiering and her family as they slept. DeMeerleer fatally shot Schiering and her 9-year-old son. He also cut at her 17-year-old son’s throat and left another 9-year-old twin unharmed. Authorities later found DeMeerleer dead of a self-inflicted gunshot wound. The Schiering family’s expert, Dr. James Knoll, argues that a proper risk assessment or follow-up treatment would have defused DeMeerleer’s violence. He contends that Ashby also had a responsibility to warn those around DeMeerleer at risk of harm. “Had [Ashby and the clinic] properly monitored DeMeerleer,” Knoll writes, “the risk and occurrence of the incident would have been mitigated, and probably would

not have occurred.” Ashby and Sestero, his attorney, have argued that Washington law prevents treatment providers from breaching patient confidentiality unless an identifiable target can be determined. Sestero says reinforcing a broader duty to warn the public would establish an “unworkable standard” that dangerously undermines patient trust.

f the three judges on the state’s Division III Court of Appeals, two agree that state law establishes some duty to warn third parties. The court dismissed claims that Ashby should have involuntarily committed DeMeerleer. Judges also dismissed claims of “lost chance” because the case did not outline the victims’ probability of survival if additional treatment had been pursued. But the court also ruled that questions remain regarding whether treatment providers can or should protect the general public from dangerous clients. Judges cited several cases in which therapists could predict harm and were sometimes held liable for their clients’ actions. A third judge, A.C.J. Brown, penned a dissent that argued for a dismissal of all the claims, largely because DeMeerleer never explicitly threatened Schiering. The family’s attorney, Michael Riccelli, filed a motion to reconsider the “lost chance” issues with the court last week. Riccelli argues that a number of factors suggest the victims would be alive today if Ashby and the clinic had followed a more thorough standard of care. “More likely than not, this would not have happened,” he says. “If Mr. DeMeerleer had been treated to the standard of care, he would not have had his meltdown.” Attorneys on both sides agree it may take an additional review by the state Supreme Court to set a clear precedent. “It’s something the Supreme Court is going to eventually deal with,” Riccelli says, “one way or another.” n

DECEMBER 11, 2014 INLANDER 19 CdaCasino_Hunks_121114_12V_GG.jpg

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20 INLANDER december 11, 2014

y Sp e l l okane Va

Downtown

Spokane-East By Dan Nailen

he eastern half of downtown Spokane has a nice blend of glitz and grit, thanks to the presence of both highend hotels and shopping and old-school dive bars and traditional restaurants. Hunting for holiday gifts offers a nice mix of the same, between popular shops offering an array of cool things and specialized, off-the-beaten-path options catering to a very particular kind of clientele. It’s a great, walkable area for finding a little something for everyone on your list.

an aspiring roller-derby athlete, skates are a great gift for kids. The problem? Ever-growing feet. The solution? These rollers from Crazy Skates, which actually adjust in size along with the skaters’ growing feet. One pair has you covered from sizes 1-3, another for sizes 4-6, and another for sizes 7-9 — all of them looking good and rolling strong. $149 • Krunch! Skate Shop • 411 E. Sprague

HANDMADE BASKET

A perfect solution for college students tasked with trudging back and forth to a dorm laundry room or nearby laundromat is the sweet selection of fair-trade, handmade baskets from Ghana available at Kizuri. The large, twohandle version (pictured) might be the coolest laundry basket on campus, and the baskets come in a variety of sizes and colors, making them a great go-to gift for all occasions. $85 • Kizuri • 35 W. Main #100

GLASS PIPE

SILLY SOCKS

While the kids in your life might not appreciate the appeal of a pair of socks as a Christmas present, one of the benefits of aging is realizing the importance of something snuggly and stylish covering your toes. The folks at Sock It To Me socks have a slew of cool looks for their stockings, whether they’re covered in bacon or sumo wrestlers, dinosaurs or Sasquatches, and they come in all sizes — your little friends might go for some robot socks. $9.95 • Boo Radley’s • 232 N. Howard

As the number of strains and types of products continue to expand post-pot legalization in Washington, there are still tried-and-true marijuana delivery systems that will always be appreciated by the smoker in your life. Case in point, the good ol’ glass pipe — although you can make someone extremely happy with the high-end pipes produced by local glass artist Highgrade Mike, available in an array of sizes and colors. $180 • Puﬃn Glass • 201 W. Riverside

ROLLER SKATES

Whether you’re talking about a luxurious cruise around the park, or serious training for

SOUP POT

With the explosion of foodie culture, you might be tempted to start buying all manner of kitchen gear for your friends who are suddenly obsessed with Alton Brown or Top Chef. Tread carefully, though, because a cook’s gear is highly personal, and the look of a kitchen can be as important to some as its utility. Everyone, though, can get on board with a beautiful soup pot handmade in Colombia — it’s as much a work of art as a useful serving item, and there are plenty of accompanying options from the same craftsmen, too. $89.95 • Kizuri • 35 W. Main #100

WATER BOTTLE

LEATHER SATCHEL

Perhaps there’s someone on your list who likes to class it up while remaining casual at the same time. The collection of leather handbags and messenger bags from Park Hill is just the ticket, offering a rugged look, plenty of useful space inside for a student or professional, and a variety of shapes and sizes for men and women. $240 • Atticus Coﬀee & Gifts • 222 N. Howard

is designed to last forever. The prices vary depending on what you like, but the chance to personalize some long-lasting memories is worth any price. Prices depend on arrangement • Anemone Paper Flowers • 301 W. Second

PAPER FLOWERS

Real flowers die. It’s sad but true. So giving a loved one some beautiful arrangement for the holiday might be a nice gesture, but it’s not one built to last. That’s not the case when you shop at Anemone paper florist, where the amazing artistry that creates all manner of flowers, wreaths and arrangements also

For the hikers, bikers and other outdoorsy friends in your life, finding the perfect small present or stocking stuffer can be tough. You can’t go wrong with a quality water bottle for either the hardcore or casual gearhead, and the Camelbak Podium Big Chill is a double-walled wonder that keeps cold drinks cold extra-long, and does the same for hot drinks if you’re packing for a winter excursion. The self-sealing cap also means you don’t have to monkey around with spills and splatters as you open and close the thing. $17.95 • Spoke ’N Sport • 212 N. Division 

From top: Skates from Krunch! Skate Shop; leather satchel from Atticus; basket from Kizuri; glass pipe from Puffin Glass; water bottle from Spoke ‘N Sport

DECEMBER 11, 2014 INLANDER 21

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Drink and be merry. Whitestone Vineyard and Winery sells a variety of locally made wine, as well as offering an upscale tasting experience. The 2009 Cougar Crest Cabernet Franc comes highly recommended by tasting room manager Rosemary Brasch, and it’s highly rated by Wine Spectator. If you become a member (it’s free) you get 15 percent off the bottle price. $42 • Whitestone Winery Tasting Room • 8 N. Post, Suite 8. Painting the pottery could be the gift, or the mug you paint could be the gift. Versatility is king. Either way, come to Polka Dot Pottery’s downtown location, grab a mug and start painting. It’s the price of the piece plus tax, so don’t worry about breaking the bank. $5-$55 • Polka Dot Pottery • River Park Square, 808 W. Main.

It’s tasty, it’s sweet and it’s the No. 1 Christmas gift, year after year, at Williams-Sonoma. Sure, the taste is great, but the crunch adds an undeniable appeal. Plus it’s the kind of gift from which you will very likely benefit. $25.95 • Williams-Sonoma • River Park Square, 808 W. Main

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owntown is ripe with gift potential. While River Park Square is always a good choice, be sure to wander farther afield. Whether you explore the skywalks, or venture onto the streets, you’re sure to find something to pique your interest. So stop staring at your computer and get downtown. It’s gift time.

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It’s holiday time, and that means food. But what will you put that food on? How about some classic French stoneware? The 17-step firing process creates a distinctive “crackled” pattern and rich color. The dinnerware is chip resistant and dishwasher safe. And it’s all made in southern France, so if conversation is lagging, you can always bring that up. $14.95-$29.95 • Williams-Sonoma • River Park Square, 808 W. Main

VANESSA’S VILLAGE HATS

A major fundraiser for the Vanessa Behan Crisis Nursery, Vanessa’s Village is a reasonably priced boutique, perfect for stocking stuffers. Their multicolored crocheted hats are inexpensive and warm, and it’s always nice to know your money is supporting a good cause. $6 • Vanessa’s Village • Skywalk level, 707 W. Main • Store open through Dec. 23

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Peppermint Bark from Williams-Sonoma and pottery from Polka Dot Pottery

COFFEE

Coffee, as a gift, is clichéd. But clichés exist for a reason. Nothing is better than fresh coffee beans, especially Thomas Hammer’s holiday blend, Bin 7. Half of the appeal is the badass container it comes in. The other half is the rich, exciting taste of the beans. It’s a limited seasonal brew, so keep an eye open and snag one (or three). $13 • Thomas Hammer • 601 W. Main

MONKEYBOY BOOKS

This isn’t so much one gift as it is an experience. Monkeyboy Books is a holein-the-wall used and rare bookshop. It’s owned and run by a Gonzaga French instructor, Marina Drake, and her husband. It’s the kind of the bookstore you’d read about in a Jeffrey Eugenides novel: cozy yet sophisticated. So check it out, get cultured and buy a gorgeous used or rare tome. Prices vary • Monkeyboy Books • 123 S. Wall n

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South Hill T

By Laura Johnson

he South Hill now comes complete with a Target. As thrilling as that is, there are quite a few local businesses also deserving of your hard-earned dollars. No, not all of the following holiday gift selections are found in the South Perry district — many destinations are spread throughout the primarily residential South Hill area. Just think: Even if you have to traverse curvy inclines and deal with rich people (or so goes the stereotype), at least you don’t have to pay for parking.

ELK ANTLER CHEW craft cocktails  24 rotating drafts small plates, salads, sandwiches, traditional plates

415 west main avenue  spokane, wa mon-wed 11:30am -11pm thur-sat 11:30am -1am durkinsliquorbar.com • 509.863.9501

Dogs like to chew on things. Mostly, they like to chew on things they’re not supposed to — like a brand new pair of Nike Dunks or your retainer. But you love them anyway. With this split elk antler chew (unfortunately, not the more appropriately holiday-themed reindeer) you can give Fido something he’ll be excited to unwrap. It may even mean he’ll stop gnawing on other things for a while. $14 each • The Urban Canine • 2915 E. 29th, Suite C • (Also: 9222 N. Newport Hwy.)

Gift Pack ($14). To drink up all of this deliciousness, grab a Revel 77 tulip-shaped coffee cup ($7). Holiday cheer never tasted so local. $7-$14 per item • Revel 77 • 3223 E. 57th

HOTRONIC FOOTWARMER S4

The price tag is steep. But for those loved ones of yours who are chronically cold in the winter, these boot warmers are a must. Designed to keep a skier’s toes toasty, the Hotronic FootWarmer (a padded sole insert with battery packs that heat for up to 21 hours) fits in boots of all kinds. This gift would melt the heart of any serious winter hiker or any girlfriend who is always burrowing her feet underneath you to stay warm. $250 • Spokane Alpine Haus • 2925 S. Regal

THE BIG BETTY WINE GLASS PET-A-ROO PET CARRIER

Whoa, doggie! No longer do you have to carry your teacup-sized pooch in your purse/manbag, or worse, put her on a leash. The Pet-A-Roo Pet Carrier allows owners to tote their 20-pound-or-less pet (cats or guinea pigs would fit well too) in a front pack design, making it the perfect gift for the pet-obsessed among us. We’re talking the people who claim their pets are their children — the strappy device looks oddly similar to a baby sling. $41.99 • The Urban Canine • 2915 E. 29th, Suite C • (Also: 9222 N. Newport Hwy.)

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24 INLANDER december 11, 2014

Mercy, Betty is big. Enter the Big Betty Wine Glass, which miraculously holds a whole bottle’s worth of wine. This is the wine chalice for those who always wanted to drink an entire bottle of wine but still stay classy. Clearly, the perfect gift for your boozy aunt who’s always having a girl’s night out … with herself. Whomever you gift this to, laughs are sure to follow. $15 • Wollnick’s General Store • 1025 S. Perry (Note: Wollnick’s will close its Perry Street location Christmas Eve and open downtown soon after.)

GAMA-GO SNOW GLOBE SALT & PEPPER SHAKER

The Ying Yang Twins urged us to “shake it like a saltshaker” back in ’03, and they weren’t wrong. But now, your salt shaker can be a whole lot more festive (regular designs are so boring). The Gama-Go Snow Globe Salt & Pepper shaker may just be the most useful snow globe out there. It’s one of those items you might just have to pick up for yourself while out shopping for others. $13 • Wollnick’s General Store • 1025 S. Perry

COFFEE & TEA GIFT BASKET Do you know someone who lives in a constant state of caffeination? Revel 77, the sort of coffee shop that has a “Sip Local” sign in its front window, can help with one’s home caffeine supply. This isn’t an actual gift basket; it’s one you’d compile yourself. We recommend Northwest roasted selections like Winter Wonderland Blend by DOMA Coffee Roasting Co. ($15), Bear Claus Holiday Blend ($17) and, for the tea lover, No. 1626 Smith Variety

From top: Pet-A-Roo Carrier from the Urban Canine;, Wisconsinburger Gift Certificate; Manito Park; Hotronic Footwarmer from Spokane Alpine Haus

MANITO PARK

It’s not just South Hill natives who get to experience Manito Park’s grandeur. The wonder of the place is felt by all who live in the area — family picnics by the pond, first dates floating through Duncan Garden or summer nights drinking at a Mozart in the Park concert. The Friends of Manito (find them at thefriendsofmanito.org) are currently selling Manito Park 2015 calendars ($15) with proceeds keeping the park at its full splendor. What a community gift. $15 • Manito Park • 1702 S. Grand Blvd.

WISCONSINBURGER GIFT CERTIFICATE

Burgers are the best. Unless you’re craving tacos or pizza. But for people with fast-food addictions on the South Hill, the locally owned Wisconsinburger is the place to be. We’re talking about freshly ground certified Angus beef and luscious cheese curds. This isn’t the restaurant you tell your cardiologist you frequent, but anyone with taste buds (yes, they have vegetarian options too) would be more than joyful to find a Wisconsinburger gift certificate in the their stocking. Any amount • Wisconsinburger • 916 S. Hatch n

DECEMBER 11, 2014 INLANDER 25

Garland

District

By E.J. Iannelli

hen it comes to variety, even glorified meccas of onestop shopping like malls and department stores have a hard time going toe-to-toe with the Garland District. This quaint commercial corridor offers a whole range of goods and services in a single 350-yard stretch of road. There’s music (create your own or buy it ready-made), books, art, coffee, crafts, fashion, collectibles and plenty more — all from locally owned retailers. What better way to cater to everyone on your holiday shopping list while supporting Spokane’s small business community? And when you’re finished, you can grab a bite to eat at Ferguson’s Diner and catch a discount movie at the district’s eponymous cinema.

ing pens, needles, pincushions and other tools of the trade. If that’s still not enough, for a little extra you can add a full-day workshop on sewing basics or custom-fit patterning. $150 • Top Stitch • 3808 N. Monroe

VINTAGE TUBE RECEIVER

Often cited by aficionados as one of the finest FM receivers ever manufactured, the 1960s-era Fisher 400 is the ne plus ultra of vintage audiophile equipment. Over half a century ago, its brushed metal face and walnut veneer cabinet set the standard for hi-fi aesthetics. And when properly maintained or restored, its retro vacuum tubes produce a sound that does justice to your vinyl collection. Sticker shock? Though not prized quite as highly, some mid-range “silverface” components from the 1970s can be had for a fraction of the price. $900 • Groove Merchants • 905 W. Garland

UKULELE AUTOGRAPHED SEAHAWKS (CA. 1980) PENNANT

Here’s a chance to make at least one Seahawks fan exceptionally happy this season: a framed pennant signed more than 30 years ago by the fledgling Seattle football team. It’s undated, but Coolectibles owner Jim Mackenzie reckons the autographed lineup — which includes Jim Zorn, Dan Doornink and Steve Largent — puts it somewhere between 1979 and 1981. Should someone else snag it before you do, don’t get too dispirited. The pennant is surrounded by tons of other rare sports memorabilia, including a hall-of-fame game jersey worn and signed by Largent himself. $199 • Coolectibles • 612 W. Garland

SEWING STARTER BAG From top: Milk Bottle Gift Certificate; Ukulele from Mark’s Guitar Shop; Blue Door tickets, Handcrafted ornament from Spokane Art School

Sewing isn’t exactly a lost art, but it seems like folks of all ages are rediscovering the fun and practical ways it offers to create, repurpose and mend. Yet a sewing machine — a decent one can run nearly a grand — is only part of the kit necessary to become a future Project Runway contestant. This “sewing essentials” bag comes in a sturdy tote with scissors, measuring tape, mark-

There was a time when gifting a ukulele might have been an inscrutable gesture. Now it’s cool. Or maybe coolly uncool? At any rate, the diminutive uke, an instrument that conjures images of grass skirts and tropical beaches, is making a comeback thanks to its four strings (versus the guitar’s standard six) and its beginner-friendly fingering. Pair it with an instructional album by Heidi Swedberg — once the ill-fated Susan Ross on Seinfeld, she’s since become a celebrity of the ukulele circuit. Singing accompaniment in Tiny Tim’s falsetto is fun but entirely optional. $59.99 • Mark’s Guitar Shop • 918 W. Garland

HANDCRAFTED HOLIDAY ORNAMENT

There’s something oxymoronic about certain lines of massproduced Christmas tree ornaments in nationwide chains being billed as “collectible.” For an ornament that properly merits the term, look no further than the work of local artists, such as origami-style paper shapes by Patti Reiko Osebold or handpainted ceramics by Virginia Carter. Small wonder why many savvy Spokanites have made an annual holiday tradition out of collecting and gifting these affordable, limited-run works of art. $10-$40 • Spokane Art School Gallery • 811 W. Garland

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CHALK PAINT

Chalk paint is often associated with antique furniture that’s been restored in a distressed look, but it’s good for so much more. With a 30-day cure period, it adheres to most anything — even old linoleum flooring — and provides a richly colored, durable coating with extremely low volatile organic compounds (or VOCs). What’s more, it’s easy to adjust the consistency or mix colors to produce a custom palette, making it ideal for crafters, painters and decorators both expert and neophyte. $38.95 • Artworks • 600 W. Garland

TICKETS TO BLUE DOOR THEATRE

The volunteers of Blue Door Theatre are the irreverent ad-libbing upstarts of Spokane’s acting community. From evening to evening their performances are the same in name only; everything else is left to their quick-witted interactions with the audience and each other. Tickets to one of their shows will easily fit in the smallest of stockings (and cost less than one), but they hold the promise of a night of fun, interactive entertainment. In January, Blue Door is running an audience participation game show format where you have to lose in order to win. With prizes, no less. $7 per ticket • Blue Door Theatre • 815 W. Garland

MILK BOTTLE GIFT CERTIFICATES

Gift certificates might be the last refuge of the indolent holiday shopper, but in this case they’re perfectly legit. Wrapping up the Milk Bottle’s delicious diner-style burgers and classic shakes and placing them under the tree causes them to lose some of their appeal. This way, recipients can stop in at this family-owned Spokane landmark at their leisure and choose from an entire menu of freshly prepared items featuring salads, wraps and sandwiches. Or they can buy one of the 16 flavors of housemade ice cream by the quart to take home. Price varies • Mary Lou’s Milk Bottle • 802 W. Garland 

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North

Spokane

nlike downtown and the Inland Northwest’s better-known shopping destinations, one has to look far and wide to find locally owned shops in Spokane’s vast northern half, which technically encompasses everything north of the river. But tucked into the numerous strip malls and shopping centers lining the Northside’s busy arterials, these hidden gems, and many others, can be found.

HAND-CARVED BOOK LETTERS

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Stepping inside the reincarnated Mel’s Nursery — sans the nursery, which relocated from the ‘Y’ to Wandermere last year — senses of sight and smell are teased by the displays filling every inch of space, minus the narrow, winding aisles. Give yourself ample time to explore this treasure trove, which could prompt the crossing off of several names on your list. Far in the back of the store, a careful hunter can find these one-of-a-kind, hand-carved alphabet letters, stacked on a shelf between displays of sumptuous candles. These décor pieces are ideal for any book lover, no matter their age or gender. Each is made from an upcycled hardcover book, with the classic title still intact on the spine. $15.99 each • Mel’s Home & Closet • 12501 N. Division

TWO BROS BOW & ARROW

No, your kids won’t shoot their eyes out with this ingeniously safe bow and arrow set. The creative output of two, young North Carolina brothers, it’s simple, fun and works well, as this writer can attest. Each dowel-rod arrow has a large, cushioned tip, covered with fun fabrics to complement the brothers’ lively colored bows, which come in many patterns and colors. Bow, $12.98; arrows, $3.49 each • The White Elephant • 1730 N. Division

BY CHEY SCOTT

ATARI 2600 CONSOLE & GAMES

As more technology-overstimulated millennials migrate toward the vintage modes predating them by decades (i.e., vinyl records), playing retro video game consoles has become trendy, too. The Atari 2600, NES and other classic counterparts are making a big comeback, a movement prodded by both those nostalgic for their childhood Space Invaders memories, and the younger set born too soon to have played such throwback hits. Take that, PlayStation. Original, used Atari 2600 console, $74.99; Atari Flashback (modern remake), $19.99-$29.99; used game cartridges, $3.99+ • Game World • 9439 N. Newport Hwy.

EXPO ’74 MEMORABILIA

With vinyl and retro video game consoles making a comeback, why not get the vintage junkie on your list some old-but-new, authentic World’s Fair memorabilia from the White Elephant’s infamous inventory. The familiar mobius logo adorns awesomely kitsch wallets, teacups and saucers, cream pitchers and more. Find these 40-year-old gems on a weird corner shelf, tucked back in the store’s camping supplies section. 69¢$6.98 • The White Elephant • 1730 N. Division

BUTTON-UP INFINITY SCARF

Everywhere you look, women are wearing scarves — long scarves, thin scarves, chunky scarves, sparkly scarves. This current fashion trend is an easy way to accessorize, while also totally appropriate for the crisp Inland Northwest winters. Scarves appeal to any age, minus the stress of guessing sizes. Employees at the new-ish Northside location of Fringe Boutique say this incarnation of the ubiquitous infinity scarf (named for its continuous

loop construction) offers several wear options and colors. Pull the bottom down over chilled shoulders, or leave one or two buttons undone for a casual, draped look. $42 • Fringe Boutique • 12208 N. Division

LICENSE PLATE LETTERS

Pinterest addicts know better than most — upcycled alphabet letters are a hot trend for personalized home decor, taking the place of the modern monogram. If the aforementioned carved book letters aren’t your recipient’s style, these gritty characters cut from old license plates can be used in a cool DIY gift. Or present them as loose items to a crafty DIY-er who’ll be instantly inspired for their next project. Careful: the edges are sharp! $1-$3/ each • Paint in My Hair • 3036 N. Monroe

SILICONE DISH COVERS

Give someone the pure glory of never again having to use the terrible thing known as plastic cling wrap. These Charles Viancin silicone dish lids are truly amazing, using suction to provide an airtight seal on any material in your kitchen — stainless steel, glass, plastic and ceramic. With a wide selection of sizes, bright colors and patterns inspired by nature, you’ll want to grab a few for yourself — assuming you can avoid the temptation to keep them all for yourself. $11.95-$15.95 • Emporium at E. Hawthorne • 915 E. Hawthorne

HUMUNGA STACHE DOG TOY

You really could “break the Internet” with all the cute photos you’ll (obviously) be posting of your pup(s) proudly displaying his/her awesome new ’stache. This hard rubber handlebar is guaranteed to provide endless laughs, Instagram ops and enjoyment on the chewing side — for your dog, duh. Yuppy Puppy owner Aquila Brown also recommends the equally hilarious Rogz brand Grinz balls. $13.99 (’stache) and $7.50-$14.99 (Grinz) • The Yuppy Puppy • 9511 N. Newport Hwy. n

Preferred over partridges in pear trees. 12 DAYS OF GIFTING: NOW–DECEMBER 14TH. A NEW SPECIAL EVERY DAY. Now through December 14th, visit latahcreek.com to find a new deal, and a new way to save, with our unique gift ideas. Check out our baskets, wine club, personalized labels, samplers and more. Sip, shop and ship every day in our tasting room, or online at latahcreek.com.

Open Daily 9am-5pm E. 13030 Indiana Ave. Spokane, WA 1-800-Latah-Creek • latahcreek.com

From top: License plate letters from Paint in My Hair; Humunga Stache dog toy from Yuppy Puppy; Silicone dish covers from Emporium; Two Bros Bows from the White Elephant; Infinity scarf from Fringe Boutique

Winery & Gift Shop

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DECEMBER 11, 2014 INLANDER 29

HOLIDAY PULSE THIS HOLIDAY SEASON, DOWNTOWN SPOKANE IS THE PLACE TO BE. COME VISIT THE INLAND NORTHWEST’S MOST EXCITING DESTINATION.

FOOD

GREAT ATMOSPHERE

“The Davenport Hotel transforms into the world’s largest gingerbread house during the holiday season,” says Matt Jensen, corporate director of sales and marketing for the Davenport Hotel Collection. That makes the PALM COURT GRILL (10 S. Post • davenporthotelcollection.com) an ideal Yuletide dining spot — especially the sought-after tables next to the grand fireplace in the hotel’s main lobby. To accompany such culinary highlights as the restaurant’s famous Crab Louis salad or USDA Prime beef filet, you can enjoy live holiday music performed daily by the lobby pianist between 3 and 6 pm. Adding to the festivities is Christmas Tree Elegance, which runs through Dec. 14; the amazing Christ Kitchen Gingerbread Build-Off takes place that day. “It is a beacon of holiday spirit wrapped up in one amazing space for all to enjoy,” says Jensen.

EVENTS KIDS’ DAY OUT

Dec. 13 To continue downtown’s Spokane embrace this year of all things classically “Seuss” this holiday season, a new event caters to the true believers (in Santa Claus, we mean) — children. Begin an afternoon of free family festivities partaking in arts and crafts at the downtown Spokane Library branch, where families can also listen to interactive readings of Dr. Seuss’s best-loved stories, which many of us know by heart. Don’t forget to dress up in your most festive, fun “Who”-inspired attire, since the indoor events are followed by an all-ages community parade through Riverfront Park, starting at the library. Then there’ll be costumes and prizes for the best individual, large group, small group and “Who-rriﬁc” costumes. Wrap up an afternoon of fun singing along to holiday songs, with some hot cocoa to warm you up from the inside. Free. More details at downtownspokane.org.

SPENCER’S

A CHRISTMAS CAROL: THE MUSICAL

Through Dec. 20 The Spokane Civic Theatre produces a music-ﬁlled version of the Dickens holiday classic, a tale of love and redemption directed by Civic Artistic Director Keith Dixon. Shows Thu-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 1 pm (except Sat, Dec. 20 at 2 pm). $22-$30. Spokane Civic Theatre, 1020 N. Howard. spokanecivitheatre. com (325-2507)

SANTA EXPRESS

Through Dec. 23 The 21st annual holiday store oﬀers items at allowance-friendly prices for area children (ages 4-12) to purchase for their friends and family, with proceeds supporting the mission of the Vanessa Behan Crisis Nursery. Open Mon-Fri 11 am-8 pm, Sat 10 am-8 pm, and Sun 11 am-6 pm. At 707 W. Main (skywalk level). vanessabehan.org

SPOKANE WINTER GLOW SPECTACULAR

Through Jan. 1 A new holiday event in Riverfront Park featuring light displays through the park, including an animal lights zoo for the kids. Displays throughout the park are lit daily at 5 pm, through Jan. 1. Free. Riverfront Park, 507 N. Howard. spokanewinterglow.com

30 INLANDER DECEMBER 11, 2014

SPENCER’S (322 N. Spokane Falls Ct. • spencersforsteaksandchops.com) is famous for its USDA Prime steaks, the centerpiece of its specialized menu. The cuts are aged for 21 days and then cooked at near-furnace temperatures to sear the meat to perfection and lock in natural juices. You can enhance any meal with sauces like king crab béarnaise or cognac peppercorn. Located in the landmark Steam Plant building, STACKS (159 S. Lincoln • stacksatsteamplant.com) allows you to sample in-house microbrews and dine on American fare with ﬂair — like buﬀalo meatloaf and chipotle pork chops — while admiring the interior’s 80-foot ceilings, historic boiler pipes and catwalks.

MICHAEL LONDRA: CELTIC YULETIDE

Dec. 12 The “Christmas from Ireland” concert features traditional Irish songs, dance and stories, performed by the former lead voice of Riverdance on Broadway. Fri, Dec. 12, at 7:30 pm. $45. Bing Crosby Theater, 901 W. Sprague. bingcrosbytheater.com

COMMUNITY MEMORIAL TREE

Dec. 13-21 Hospice of Spokane hosts a holiday tree, encouraging the public to decorate a white paper dove in memory of a loved one to hang on the tree. There is no cost to participate. On the third ﬂoor of River Park Square, 808 W. Main. hospiceofspokane.org (456-0438)

BING CROSBY HOLIDAY FILM FESTIVAL

Dec. 13 The ninth annual festival screens the best-loved classic ﬁlms starring Spokane’s favorite son, Bing Crosby, along with a display of memorabilia and a performance by Bing’s nephew, Howard Crosby. $8. Bing Crosby Theater, 901 W. Sprague. bingcrosbytheater.com

SPECIAL ADVERTISING SECTION

WHITWORTH UNIVERSITY CHRISTMAS FESTIVAL

Dec. 13-14 The candlelight concert is presented by 120+ student performers, including members of the Whitworth Choir, Women’s Choir, Men’s Chorus, and Chamber Singers, with student instrumentalists and narrators. Dec. 13 at 8 pm and Dec. 14 at 3 pm. $15-$18. Martin Woldson Theater at the Fox, 1001 W. Sprague. foxtheaterspokane.com

GINGERBREAD BUILD-OFF

Dec. 14, at 10 am The annual gingerbread house buildoﬀ features teams of local bakers, architects and pastry chefs competing to build the most elaborate gingerbread house, as voted by the public. This year’s theme is “Christmas Carols.” Sun, Dec. 14, from 10 am-1 pm; kids activities from 10 am-4 pm ($7 to build your own house). Free to watch. Davenport Hotel, 10 S. Post. ccckministry.org

CHILDREN’S AUTHOR JAN BRETT

Dec. 14, at 5 pm Auntie’s Bookstore hosts an evening with the New York Times-bestselling children’s author and illustrator, who’ll be presenting her newest book, The Animal’s Santa. Brett signs copies of her books and families can meet beloved

SHOPPING

BOUTIQUES OF NOTE

One of the best places to shop for up-to-the-minute fashion is TANGERINE (1019 W. First • facebook.com/TangerineBoutique). This season they’re featuring selections from one of the hottest labels, A’reve. “It’s dressy, casual ready-wear, but with a feminine touch,” says Amy Driscoll, who co-owns and operates the boutique with her sister Chi (pronounced “shy”). “It’s got the lacy, layered look, so you’ll have a knit sweater with lace underneath. It’s one of those lines that once we get new stock in, it goes right out. And the price point is unbeatable.” Shopping for your significant other? Driscoll says there are “really fun, quick, easy gifts” like boot socks, scarves and legwarmers that will make even the most fashion-impaired look like Vogue subscribers. Along with A’reve, Tangerine has lines by Skunk Funk, Red Engine Jeans and Union of Angels, to name but a few. If hip urban clothing is on your Christmas list, LOLO (319 W. Second • loloboutique.net) is where you’ll find it. This styleconscious boutique in the one-time Cyrus O’Leary’s pie factory has pieces by emerging as well as established designers. With some hard-to-find items on the racks, they bring individuality back to popular fashion. FRINGE & FRAY (1325 W. First • fringeandfray.net) is a resale boutique that carefully selects its stock according to brand and trend, so you get high-quality items in current styles at incredibly affordable prices. It’s been so successful that the shop has since expanded to include home furnishings and décor.

character Hedgie the hedgehog. Free. Bing Crosby Theater, 901 W. Sprague. auntiesbooks.com

ELF AT THE BING

Dec. 17, at 8 pm Celebrate the holiday season at this beneﬁt screening hosted by the Inlander and beneﬁting Catholic Charities of Spokane’s Fatherhood Project. $5 suggested donation. Bing Crosby Theater, 901 W. Sprague. catholiccharitiesspokane.org

HARMONY FOR THE HOLIDAYS

Dec. 19 A musical beneﬁt in support of the Catholic Charities Foundation featuring internationally acclaimed singers and local artists, and a special segment for kids. Dec. 19, at 8 pm. $25. Bing Crosby Theater, 901 W. Sprague. bingcrosbytheater.com

SPOKANE SYMPHONY HOLIDAY POPS

Dec. 20-21 The annual holiday concert features resident conductor Morihiko Nakahara leading the Symphony in a selection of festive music (old and new), the popular audience

LOLO

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own damn gift AND MERRY CHRISTMAS

Boo�Radley’s Uncommon�Gifts

232�N.�Howard�.�456-7479 across�from�the�carousel

On the second level of River Park Square (509) 838-7115 • Spokane.OilandVinegarUSA.com

sing-along, and a visit from Santa. Family pricing available. Dec. 20, at 8 pm; Dec. 21, at 2 pm. $28-$62. Martin Woldson Theater at the Fox, 1001 W. Sprague. spokanesymphony.org

CHRISTMAS AT THE BING

Dec. 21 A fundraiser performance beneﬁting the Bing and the Spokane Civic Theatre, featuring performances by the Clarion Brass Choir and vocalists Abbey Crawford, Doug Dawson, Andrea Olsen, Darnelle Preston and Jim Swoboda. Dec. 21, at 7:30 pm. $15-$20. Bing Crosby Theater, 901 W. Sprague. bingcrosbytheater.com

CHRISTMAS DINNER AT THE DAVENPORT

Dec. 25 Enjoy favorite and traditional holiday dishes from the hotel’s kitchen, served a la carte in the Palm Court Grill and the Safari Room. Dec. 25. Prices vary; reservations suggested. Davenport Hotel, Grand Pennington Ballroom, 10 S. Post. davenporthotelcollection. com (800-899-1482)

Spa. Restaurants. Rooms. Retreat. This holiday season, give the gift cards that nourish the mind, body and soul.

800 899 1482 • davenporthotelcollection.com SPECIAL ADVERTISING SECTION

DECEMBER 11, 2014 INLANDER 31

Jan Brett @ the Bing

Sunday, December 14, 5:00 pm

To be in the autograph line you must have an Auntie’s receipt for a copy of The Animals’ Santa. All of Brett’s books will be available for sale at the event or at Auntie’s Bookstore.

$5 suggested donation per adult to benefit the Friends of the Bing. Kids are free.

auntiesbooks.com (509) 838-0206

Nordstrom

N IGHTLIFE

HIP HANGOUTS

“The holidays are a time ﬁlled with friends and family. But if you need to escape your family, then join your friends at RIVER CITY BREWING (121 S. Cedar • rivercityred.blogspot. com) for one of our winter-only beers in our cozy atmosphere in downtown Spokane,” says co-owner Gage Stromberg. “We just introduced our Midnight Marmot Imperial Stout and released our 2014 version of Deep Thaw Winter Warmer last week.” Recently, the tap room also partnered with Andy’s, the bar and grill across the street, to provide hot food delivery seven days a week. The holidays also will bring new River City T-shirts as well as gift cards, so you can give the gift of local brews without having to wrap a six-pack or growler. Regular live entertainment, great food, roughly 20 craft beers on tap and a down-to-earth atmosphere have made JONES RADIATOR (120 E. Sprague • jonesradiator.com) a favorite destination for many. Depending on when you stop in, you could be in for live music (including jazz), open mic variety shows, trivia, movies or sundry celebrations of all that is nerdy. If you’re looking for something more private, NECTAR (120 N. Stevens • drinknectar.com) is available for small holiday parties. This tasting room is owned by a quintet of Washington wineries: Anelare, Hard Row to Hoe Vineyards, Northwest Cellars, Skylite Cellars and Terra Blanca. Its modern and welcoming space also has tapas-style food for couples, or mix-andmatch plates for group sharing.

for the holidays.

NECTAR The City’s parking enforcement PARKING RANGERS staff also serve as parking ambassadors, and they can give you directions and answer

See their eyes sparkle when they open gifts from River Park Square in downtown Spokane. Brands including Nordstrom, The Apple Store, Sephora, The North Face, Pottery Barn, and others are ready to shine. See it all at riverparksquare.com.

your questions related to parking. Kids 4-12 can find nice, affordable gifts at Santa Express. Proceeds from this annual fundraiser benefit the Vanessa Behan Crisis Nursery. Santa Express is located in the skywalk level of the Crescent Court and is open seven days a week, Nov. 23 through Dec. 23, Mon-Fri, 11am-8pm, Sat, 10am-8pm & Sun, 11am-6pm. Call 535-3155 is brought to you by the Downtown Spokane Partnership and the Business Improvement District in conjunction with the Inlander. For more info go to DowntownSpokane.net SHOPPING - Inside the Mall FOOD - After-Shopping Meals

JUST FOR KIDS

HOLIDAY PULSE

riverparksquare.com • 509.363.0304 808 W Main Ave • Spokane, WA

32 INLANDER DECEMBER 11, 2014

NEXT WEEK’S PULSE

SPECIAL ADVERTISING SECTION

Coeur d’Alene By Tamara McGregor

t is the North Pole, after all, so it’s not a stretch to argue that Coeur d’Alene takes the prize for offering the most festive holiday shopping experience. Sherman Avenue, lined with Christmas lights and free parking, offers a magical small-town shopping experience. Explore Sherman, take in the holiday light show at the Coeur d’Alene Resort, or make your way to Riverstone Village and listen to holiday music as you walk the delightfully uncrowded pedestrian mall with a latte in your hand. Both Riverstone and downtown Coeur d’Alene offer a diverse smattering of small, local businesses clustered together, to help you cross everyone off your shopping list, from your infant nephew to your stodgy father-in-law. And we have some ideas for you, too.

WOODEN CROSSBOW

Call it the Katniss effect, but one of the hottest toys for girls this year isn’t a Barbie or another doll. It’s a wooden crossbow rifle that shoots suction cup arrows. Figpickel’s toy testers, girls and boys alike, picked it as one of their top five toys of the year. Now pre-teens can volunteer as tribute and act out all of their Hunger Games fantasies at home. $34.95 • Figpickels Toy Emporium • 210 E. Sherman, CdA

ARTWORKS WORKSHOP GIFT CERTIFICATE

TOM’S CLASSIC WOOL SLIP-ONS

From Etsy to Pinterest, the Internet is full of before and after pictures of upcycled dressers, coffee tables and cabinets transformed with Annie Sloan’s Chalk Paint. The allure is understandable. Find something at a garage sale, and with no priming or sanding, transform it into a piece of art. Artworks’ two Inland Northwest shops are full of inspiration pieces they’ve revamped. But if that gorgeous $500 mirror on display isn’t in your budget, give a gift certificate to one of their many workshops. Classes are small (limited to six people) and range from cabinet rehab (the most popular) to Florentine Finishes, Rustic Luxe to Washes/Glazes/ Stains. $65 • Artworks • Riverstone Village, 2049 Main, CdA • (Also: 15310 E. Marietta, Spokane Valley )

HAMMERED COPPER MULE MUG

MUST HAVE NECKLACE

SEAHAWKS WINE TOTE & COASTERS

COEUR D’ALENE OLIVE OIL

Tom’s fanatics know that a few coats of Scotchgard can make their canvas shoes slightly water resistant, but no amount of shellacking will keep their feet warm in the winter when it’s 15 degrees. Fortunately, the geniuses at Tom’s came up with a solution suitable for an Inland Northwest winter. These wool slip-ons are warm and cozy, thanks to a wool upper and a super-soft fleece liner. They come in colorful patterns or basic neutrals, and may be the one gift option here that appeals to tweens and their grandmas. $54 • Finan McDonald • 210 E. Sherman, CdA • 301 N. First, Sandpoint If it’s good enough for Oprah, chances are your hipster brother-in-law would dig a pair of hammered copper mugs for serving classic Moscow Mule cocktails. Oprah singled out the copper gems as one of her “favorite things” to give and receive this year. Buy a single mug or a pair, or go all Oprah-style and splurge for a whole set and a fancy copper tray to go with them. Find the mugs at both Mix It Up and Into the Woods — but know that Into the Woods has the lavish sets Oprah covets. $26 for a 16 oz. mug • Mix It Up • 513 E. Sherman, CdA • $35 for a 20 oz. mug, $215 for the tray • Into the Woods • 509 E. Sherman Help your favorite Hawks fan keep it classy with 12th Man stone coasters and a portable Seahawks wine tote. Each canvas wine tote holds an entire bottle of wine, and collapses into a tidy little package perfectly designed for tailgating. Smaller canvas flasks hold your to-go Fireball. $21 Wine Tote, $8.95 Coasters • Into the Woods • 509 E. Sherman, CdA

AIR POWERED SOCCER DISC

Not sure what your niece or nephew is into these days? Forget asking your brother. Trust the Board of Directors at Figpickels Toy Emporium. Every year, Figpickels assembles a board of kids ages 6 to 14 to test their toys and select their favorites. This year, about 80 families participated in the process. They flew toy birds, played games, performed science experiments and built Egyptian temples out of light-up Laser Pegs. This year, the Air Powered Soccer Disc made their top five. The light-up disc floats on a cushion of air, and thanks to soft bumpers, can bounce around the house without damaging furniture. It’s a fun option for your niece and nephew, and it might just drive your brother a little crazy. But that’s part of the fun, too, right? $19.95 • Figpickels Toy Emporium • 210 E. Sherman, CdA

These dainty Must Have brand necklaces have been flying off the shelves at Tiffany Blue II — and for good reason. With a broad selection of small charms, these simple necklaces are designed to feel very personal. Buying for a first time mom? Pick the charm with a child on a swing. For the avid cyclist or Ironman, choose the bicycle charm. The selection spans from antlers to birds, dragons and more. You can even choose the finish — silver, gold or rosegold. And with a price point under $20, don’t feel bad about picking one up for yourself. $18 • Tiffany Blue II • Riverstone Village, 2027 Main, CdA You don’t have to be a foodie to appreciate Coeur d’Alene Olive Oil’s exotic infused oils like blood orange, lime, hot chili and porcini mushroom. Taste your way through all of their flavors, and then combine your favorites to create a custom gift basket perfect for your mother-in-law who has everything or that co-worker who doesn’t drink. For a personal touch, you can even have the bottle etched with their last name, a company name or whatever you might want it to say. $25 Large bottle, $15.50 Deluxe mister • The Culinary Stone • Riverstone Village, 2129 N. Main, CdA

WOOL OVERSHIRT

It’s heavier and thicker than a shirt, but not as confining as a sweater. We’re not exactly sure what to call it. An overshirt? A sweater-shirt? Whatever it is, it’s the new thing for stylish, outdoorsy guys. Layer it over a flannel button-down or a basic T-shirt. The organic wool is designed to keep you warm and a butter-soft lining feels great against your skin. $135 Horny Toad Overshirt, $65 Royal Robbins checked flannel shirt • Finan McDonald • 210 Sherman, CdA • (Also: 301 N. First, Sandpoint) n

From top: Crossbow from Figpickels; Soccer disc from Figpickels; Selection from Artworks; Wool overshirt from Finan McDonald, Coeur D’Alene Olive Oil from the Culinary Stone.

december 11, 2014 INLANDER 33

Sandpoint By Carrie Scozzaro

Perfect Gift; Available At

Auntie’s • Amazon • Amazon Kindle

hop, eat, shop some more. Maybe catch a movie, concert or other performance at the historic Panida Theater. Or take a stroll down by the lake. That alone would be a pleasant enough day in Sandpoint, one of our favorite staycation destinations convenient to both Spokane and Coeur d’Alene. But within a 3-to-4block square, Sandpoint packs plenty of gift-giving punch in a small town with an abundance of funky, fresh and locally owned spots.

ONE-MINUTE CAKE KIT

Just remembered it’s your anniversary? Just tell your beloved to give you a minute, literally, because that’s all it takes to microwave a cake or two… or even four. You get four dishwasher-safe, oversize cupcake baking cups that will have you feeling all Iron Chef-y fabulous. Cake mix sold separately (obviously). $18.50 • Weekends & Company • 329 N. First

64-OUNCE GROWLER

If you’ve ever gotten the proverbial ugly Christmas sweater, you’ll appreciate the perfect fit of your favorite beverage in a to-go container. It’s economical — typically cheaper to buy beer by the ounce — and environmentally friendly, eliminating packaging waste. The top-of-the-line HydroSteel ($49) keeps your No-Li Spin Cycle Red Ale cold for about eight hours, but the amber growlers carry the same amount for less ($8). Since one size does not fit all, check out 32-ounce “grunts” for dainty drinkers in your midst. $8-$49 • Idaho Pour Authority • 203 Cedar

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ness factor and Facebook appeal with a mustachioed binky (there’s also a pink bunny-nosed one). Gives whole new meaning to the term lip blanket. $12 • Zany Zebra • 317 N. First

UFF DA MUG

You don’t have to be Norwegian to appreciate Uff Da humor (although it probably helps). What is Uff Da humor? According to the Uff Da mug: “Eating hot soup with a runny nose” or realizing you’re not getting better, “you’re just getting older.” Better yet, just say “Uff Da.” See, you’re laughing already. $8.50 • Scandinavian Affair • 319 N. First

STONE PINK SAPPHIRE PENDANT MUSTACHIOED BABY PACIFIER

It’s never too early to indoctrinate your kids with media-based trends and brand consciousness. With the Chill Baby Pacifier, hipster parents (or friends and family thereof) can upsell baby’s cute-

Who says diamonds are a girl’s best friend? Maybe that’s the wrong soul vibration for her personality. How can you tell? Ask for a reading — based on birthday and physical characteristics — to determine whether the harmonizing fire qualities of the Stone Pink Sapphire are a good fit. Purported benefits range from clearing emotional blocking to bringing about unconditional love, but we just

From left: 64-ounce growler from Idaho Pour Authority; Stone Pink Sapphire Pendant from Zero Point Crystals; Dashboard Jesus from Zany Zebra think it’s breathtakingly beautiful. $700 • Zero Point Crystals, Gems & More • 226 N. First

RUSTIC DOG FEEDER

According to USA Today, the American public pampered their pets to the tune of $53 billion dollars in 2012. Can they tell? Who knows? We’re talking about animals that lick their tail ends. But it’s pretty darn cute to have a feeder dish that matches your rustic lake-cabin decor. $59-79 • Northwest Handmade • 308 N. First

DASHBOARD JESUS

Turn any vehicle into your version of a PopeMobile with this admittedly blasphemous gift (although we know some men and women of the cloth who have a blessedly

Through Dec 24th

welcome sense of humor about this kind of stuff). While a bobblehead version would probably have been even funnier, you’re sure to get some looks with this spring-loaded model. If anyone asks, just point to your dashboard to remind him or her the “reason for the season.” $6 • Zany Zebra • 317 N. First

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ANGEL FIGURES

There’s something uplifting about angels. And there’s something whimsical and sweet about the ones Diane Kinney makes using tufts of wool from nearby A Child’s Dream arts and crafts supply store. A little sparkly, a lot of baby’s breath-softness, these make for an ideal hostess gift, ornament for the tree, or treasured doll for your little angel. $8-18 • Mountain Song Gallery • 300 N. First 

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tick a bow on a 24-pack of Busch Light and send all those students home until January with a cheery goodbye — it’s time for Pullman and Moscow to temporarily set aside their duties as college towns and turn up the old-fashioned, small-town holiday charm. The lights twinkle, the window displays glow and chances are good for a few snowflakes. And sure, online shopping means you could avoid Main Street altogether, but it turns out some of the best and leastexpected gifts are already here.

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Every night in the woods needs a little illumination, and all the better if it comes from a solar-powered LED lantern that collapses into a packable little disc. Better still if that lantern could shine in seven different colors, which is exactly what the new Luci Aura model from MPOWERD can do. It also has a color-changing mode, perfect for camping at the Gorge, letting loose in the wilderness or just hanging out at a backyard campfire disco. $23.50 • Hyperspud Sports • 402 S. Main St., Moscow

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Fanciful but never cloying, the illustrations of Pullman artist Cori Dantini capture the magic of the season with stylized Santas, snowmen and woodland creatures. This year’s new designs are also available as prints, but pick out a set of the ornament miniatures to deck any home’s halls with a little extra cheer. Each ornament is finished with a subtle shimmer that sparkles like a fresh layer of snow. $10 • Neill’s Flowers and Gifts • 234 E. Main St., Pullman • At Home Designs • 250 E. Main St., Pullman

Amid the last-minute frenzy of wish lists, gift wrap and gadgets, handsome Red Cedar Studio wine stoppers are a reminder to slow down and savor time together with family and good friends. Handcrafted by artist Daleen Boe in Moscow, the stainless steel stoppers are topped with solid blocks of ash, cherry, sycamore, lacewood and, yes, red cedar. Complete the gift with a bottle of wine, naturally. $15-$20 • Prichard Art Gallery Store • 414 S. Main St., Moscow • Also at Moscow Co-op, BookPeople and Blackbird at the Depot

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Among WSU fans, the exchange of new Coug gear at the holidays is a revered annual ritual symbolizing the end of another abysmal football season and renewed hope for the year to come. Combine that with the similar sobad-it’s-good tradition of ugly Christmas sweaters, and you end up with this festive Champion sweatshirt that’s practically made to be worn at the extended family’s impromptu Christmas Eve beer pong tournament. $25 • Crimson and Gray • 1096 SE Bishop Blvd., Pullman

RATTLERSTRAP BELT

While the average belt only aspires to hold your pants up, the paracord Rattlerstrap belts made in Moscow can save your life. Most of the time they’re just stylish and durable, but get into a tricky situation and you’ve got 100 feet of cord around your waist to help get you out. It’s practically like insurance for a loved one. Also check out the new flint laces ($14), which come with a tiny ferro rod in each lace tip for emergency fire-starting. $99-$109 • RattlerStrap • rattlerstrap.com • Order by Dec. 17

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From top: Idaho earrings from Blackbird at the Depot; Garden-in-a-Bag Christmas Tree from Moscow Food Co-op; Coug Ugly Sweater from Crimson and Gray

IDAHO EARRINGS

Tucked inside a historic rail depot in the old company town of Potlatch, Blackbird at the Depot is a trove of one-of-kind gifts crafted by regional artisans. Affection for the state of Idaho inspires many of the items, none sweeter than the colorful pairs of tiny, laser-cut wooden Idaho earrings from Boise-based Little Lost Things. Also look for the etched wood pendants shaped like guitars, vintage cameras and Airstream trailers. $10 • Blackbird at the Depot • 185 Sixth St., Potlatch

GARDEN-IN-A-BAG CHRISTMAS TREE

Encourage little green thumbs — and adults who like coloring; no shame there — with a Christmas tree kit that’s all set up for personalizing and planting. It’s just one type of garden-in-a-bag from Potting Shed Creations, a local company based in Troy, Idaho. It may be optimistic to assume that tiny seedling will one day grow up to be a beautiful Scotch pine, but ’tis the season for believing in miracles. $9.50 • Moscow Food Co-op • 121 E. Fifth St., Moscow

CABIN FEVER BREW FEST TICKETS

One of the best kinds of holiday gifts is something to look forward to during the long, dreary months that come after the holidays — especially when that something is craft beer. The third annual Palouse Cabin Fever Brew Fest in picturesque Palouse, Washington, is coming up on Feb. 7. A ticket is good for a commemorative glass and six tasters from local craft breweries: 12 String, Budge Brothers, Paradise Creek, Riverport Brewing, Laht Neppur and the Moscow Brewing Company. The event is both indoors and outdoors, so tuck those tickets into a warm new hat or scarf. $15 • Green Frog Cafe • 100 E. Main St., Palouse • Also at participating breweries 

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Valley Spokane

By Jo Miller

509.456.8466 | Second Level, River Park Square

f you find yourself pounding through your Christmas list in the Valley, you might feel a little removed from the local shops that exist in places like downtown Spokane and Coeur d’Alene. The mundanity of the superstores and outlets lining Sprague, Broadway and the Spokane Valley Mall might stifle your creative-gift-giving flow, but don’t let it. Despite what it looks like at first glance, there are local gems. If you seek them out, your gift recipients will know you love them enough not to buy them treasures during a one-stop Walmart errand.

PERSONALIZED BEER STEIN

Any item becomes the classic grandparent gift once the smiling faces of the grandkids get plastered on. At Anderson Ink, you really can get a photo printed on almost anything — T-shirts, mouse pads, cutting boards, cake pans, car mats, puzzles, pillows. But you might want something that’ll appeal to a wider audience. How about a beer stein? It’s the perfect medium to venture out of the family photo realm of personalized presents. Think zany. Think fave slogans. Think embarrassing photos. Think inside jokes. $26 • Anderson Ink • Spokane Valley Mall, 14700 E. Indiana

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If you have a foodie on your list, pretty much anything off the shelves of Spice Traders Mercantile will get them stoked: olive oils, artisan balsamic vinegars in flavors like spicy mango and black walnut, salts, teas and spices, from asafoetida to zahtar. You can stuff a treat box with small sizes of all of the above so they can experiment their little gastronomic heart out. $12-$25 • Spice Traders Mercantile • 15614 E. Sprague

TEA POT

True tea drinkers know a teapot is not just another kitchen appliance. A teapot is an important element in the overall tea-drinking aesthetic and therapeutic experience. So looks matter. Spice Traders has pretty teapots, including a cherry blossom one with a removable infuser for loose-leaf tea. Pair it with packets of teas that range from a huge list of black and green teas to mates and rooibos, and even teas with practical purposes like herbal detox and anti-inflammatory. $25 for teapot; $2.79-$5 for tea • Spice Traders Mercantile • 15614 E. Sprague

FLY FISHING TRIP

Giving gifts that are useful and pleasant is nice, but what’s cooler is when you give a gift to someone that teaches them something new. Pick an outdoorsy person on your list (just not someone opposed to killing things) and send them on a fly fishing trip. Silver Bow provides the gear and lessons and takes people on the Spokane River to catch redband rainbow trout during the season, which runs from June to March. $375 for two people • Silver Bow Fly Shop • 13210 E. Indiana

FLY FISHING KIT

Or if you sense your outdoorsy friend is the type to grab a new tool and venture out to get the knack of it on their own, opt for just outfitting them with what they need to start fly fishing. This starter kit comes with the fly rod, reel, floating line, leader and a case to put it all in. It’s also a good choice for a fisher in need of new gear. $170 • Silver Bow Fly Shop • 13210 E. Indiana

DOGGY GINGERBREAD COOKIE

Turn on your empathy powers and just imagine how your beloved pup must feel when all of its humans gather around a shiny tree and “oo” and “ahh” as they pull fun and delicious things out of giant socks. Guys, where’s mine? is what he’s almost certainly thinking. So why not give your furry family member a stocking of his own to paw through? (Bravo, if you already do!) A good stuffer to start with is this gingerbread man dog treat. I’m sure he’ll enjoy biting its head off. $3 • Pet Vittles and Wild Bird West • 919 N. Argonne

BIRD NESTING BALL

For those humans who like to assist members of the animal kingdom, stuff their stocking with something to share with the critters, like this Cotton Tail Nesting Ball. They can hang it on a tree branch outside a window and watch their winged friends peck out materials for building a nest and get cozy in their backyard. $5.95 • Pet Vittles and Wild Bird West • 919 N. Argonne

ARM WARMERS

It’s a good thing the ’90s came back into style. One can still feel fashionable sporting some chunky knit around the wrists. But there’s nothing grunge about these charming, fleece-lined arm warmers from Jema Lane Boutique. They even have protruding thumbholes so your texting appendages stay toasty. Because nothing says “I love you” like making sure someone’s limbs don’t freeze. $32 • Jema Lane Boutique • 613 S. Pines n

T E N A L P N I A T CAP

OTO

YOUNG KWAK PH

tter for e b le t t li a ld r ing the wo k a m is n a M at a time le le t t o b Recyc e n o , e ascots alik N people and m BY LAURA JOHNSO

e stands on his hands in the middle of the ice rink. Bright red boots pointed at the Spokane Arena rafters, matching cape falling over the back of his masked head. Somersaulting forward, Recycle Man lands lightly on his feet to the applause of Spokane Chiefs fans. Since 2012, Recycle Man, who doesn’t want his identity revealed, has regaled followers of Spokane’s hockey team with his own brand of acrobatics (i.e., splits and snowball

juggling), strongman poses, and a super-friendly grin that causes people to think twice about throwing a recyclable in the trash. Last weekend, he was out on the ice sans skates during the first and second intermissions pumping up the crowds, dodging the Zamboni and assisting with various fan promotion games like shooting a turkey into a goal and padded-suit jousting. He says he’s only slipped twice out there. During the summer, he takes ...continued on next page

DECEMBER 11, 2014 INLANDER 39

CULTURE | PROFILE “CAPTAIN PLANET,” CONTINUED... on the hot temperatures at Avista Stadium, as he’s done since 2009. He and Otto Klein, senior vice president for the Spokane Indians, created Recycle Man to help promote eco-awareness at the ballpark and beyond. He recalls the first time he stepped out onto the field with the baseball team. “It was awkward at first,” Recycle Man says. “Because I’m a blue guy in tights. I didn’t know what I was doing, and the crowd didn’t know what to do. It probably took me two years to go, ‘I’m OK being this weird.’”

ecycle Man isn’t a mascot for a team; he’s a costumed entity with a cause. His mantra: “Saving the planet, one bottle of the time,” is admirable but not a creed toward which most teams can devote a paid mascot. When EcoKat was introduced at Kansas State University in 2010, students and media outlets alike ostracized the green-thinking mascot so completely it was ditched after one season. Yet Recycle Man isn’t the only eco-friendly mascot to catch on: the Seattle Mariners brought in Captain Plastic and Kid Compost in 2008 to promote their green intentions. Even after a couple of years unsure of his place, Recycle Man has succeeded mostly because of the man in the tights and his full allegiance to the cause. Just one year after his inception, Avista Stadium recycled more than 17,000 pounds of material, and that number has only gone up. Recycle Man’s not in competition with other team mascots like Otto (Indians) or Boomer (Chiefs). He’s there to complement them, but also do his own thing. During games he’ll run up and down the stands, on the hunt for items to recycle, stowing them in his blue side

Breakfaset! in a Con - in a cone) (Seriously

satchel. “Especially in the ballpark, where I’ve had more time, they’re becoming self-sufficient there,” Recycle Man says. “They know I’ll come around and straighten them out if they don’t recycle.”

eople do recognize Recycle Man out of costume; his long, curly hair, goatee and toothy grin are a giveaway. “I don’t know how Superman does it,” the 28-yearold quips. While hiding his identity from the public is essentially futile, he attempts anonymity nonetheless. His family, wife and friends know not to give the secret away. And they’re incredibly supportive when he tells them things like, “I’m about to go hang out with a dinosaur, a Sasquatch and a superhero.” It all began seven years ago, after he took a job as the Red Robin mascot. He realized acting goofy while in costume made him happy. “The more I got into mascoting, the more I realized that it was necessary for me,” Recycle Man says. Over the years, he’s worked as Skitch the Sasquatch at Spokane Community College and Swoop the Eagle at Eastern Washington University. As Swoop, he even jumped out of a plane for a video played during the 2010 Dam Cup, an annual competition with Portland State University. To learn the craft, he attended a mascot boot camp in Delaware put on by Dave Raymond, the original Phillie Phanatic. He learned that to be an effective mascot, you must be spontaneous, athletic, aware of your surroundings and quick on your feet. And that’s worked out for him. He currently makes about 200 public appearances a year as four different mascots, but Recycle Man is his main persona and the only one he’ll talk about. He’s also run mascot training camps at SFCC and EWU. Out of the spotlight he works

full-time and is finishing up his master’s degree in teaching. “I’m definitely not bored,” he says. In order to fit into his Recycle Man costume, which is replaced every two years, he rock-climbs and kayaks and attempts to stay away from greasy foods. Inside the suit it’s 15 degrees above room temperature, meaning the costume gets stuffed into his washer after each use. “I’m here to promote good hygiene as well,” he says with a laugh. Recycle Man says he’s interested in being a mascot for a major professional team someday, but for now he’s content.

uring the third period, Recycle Man stands next to a blue recycling bin in the Arena hallway talking about the ups and downs of the job. On one hand, he’s a role model for kids. On the other, there are hazards to watch out for. “Being sprayed by beer is the worst,” he admits. “Sometimes people don’t realize their Bud Light isn’t empty and it ends up all over me.” Throughout the conversation a parade of characters vie for Recycle Man’s attention, including a birthday girl in a pink tiara and a tipsy mother who attempts to sneak up behind him. In all instances Recycle Man is gracious, willing to pose for photos and hand out his trading card. The final buzzer sounds and the walkway floods with Chiefs fans. Recycle Man goes into superhero mode, thanking folks for throwing their beverage containers into the correct bin and high-fiving wide-eyed kids. Eventually he’s swallowed up by the tide of people, his blue head just noticeable above the fray. n Catch Recycle Man at the Spokane Chiefs’ next home game, vs. Prince George at the Spokane Arena, Sat, Dec. 13, at 7:05 pm. It’s also “Teddy Bear Toss” night, when fans throw teddy bears onto the ice for charity.

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CULTURE | DIGEST

TV A CABLE CHRISTMAS

FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION BY DEANNA PAN

ome holiday television traditions cross cultures and generations with ease. Watching It’s a Wonderful Life or A Christmas Story or the animated classics once every year — who would deny the pleasure in that? Some of us, though, use this time of year to delve into seedier fare on our TVs. I’m not talking mainstream movies like Bad Santa or cult splatter flicks like Silent Night, Deadly Night. I’m thinking about the perverse pleasure some of us take in watching the Hallmark Channel or Lifetime when the schmaltziest possible interpretations of Christmas take command of the schedule 24/7. The acting quality of these movies? Subpar at best. The writing? Seemingly done by the same people who write game-show hosts’ one-liners. The plots? Utterly predictable. The production values? Third World snuff films use more sets and better lighting. Yet I’m transfixed. Every year a slew of cable channels produce new holiday flicks to add to a deep catalog. Look at the Hallmark Channel website — you don’t need to turn the channel before 2015 if you’re into the crass appeal of these cinematic trainwrecks. I kicked off Binge 2014 with Snow Bride, a modern “classic” from 2013 that brings a tabloid reporter and political progeny together through a case of mistaken identity and the holiday spirit. It featured a cast full of vaguely familiar actors — “Hey, is that Ryan O’Neal? No. Never mind.” — and the sort of bare-bones set typically found in a late-night Cinemax flick. The one recognizable face was Patricia Richardson, the mom from Home Improvement. When she’s the “big name,” you know you’re dealing with quality. These annual atrocities are where all manner of has-beens pop up. We should be happy to find them in here instead of on Celebrity Rehab. This year, you can watch two guys who played Superman slumming in sappy Christmas stories — Brandon Routh in The Nine Lives of Christmas and Dean Cain in Merry ExMas. Anne Heche is

WEBSITE | I’m one of six adult children in my family. To make the holidays a little less expensive, a few years ago, my siblings and I decided to do Secret Santa for Christmas instead of individually exchanging gifts. To accommodate our busy schedules and geographic distance (I live in Spokane; they live throughout Ohio and the Midwest.), we coordinate our Secret Santa using ELFSTER.COM, a free, easy-to-use social networking site for organizing gift exchanges. You can log in using your email address or Facebook account, start a Secret Santa, invite participants, create wish lists and anonymously ask questions between members of your group. Elfster, meanwhile, “draws” the names. No folded slips of paper required.

This is a real movie. See it Saturday night at 6 pm on the Hallmark Channel. headlining One Christmas Eve, Rob Morrow (Northern Exposure) is in Debbie Macomber’s Mr. Miracle, and Tiffani Amber Thiessen (Beverly Hills 90210/Saved By the Bell) stars in Northpole. Judge me all you want. I know I’m not alone, even if you’re not watching these flicks. And while you’re missing out, I’ll be over here enjoying the fireworks of Matchmaker Santa, starring the mom from The Brady Bunch, Cliff Clavin from Cheers and one of the Mean Girls. — DAN NAILEN

DIGITS

78 MILLION

That’s roughly the total box office take for last weekend, making for the lowest post-Thanksgiving total since 1998. And that’s not even adjusted for inflation. About $22 million of that came from The Hunger Games: Mockingjay, Part 1. This also marks Hollywood’s second-worst weekend of the year.

BLOG | The internet is full of crap: fake news, faux outrage, racist memes and that same damn viral video of a bear playing on a golf course. THE BUTTER, a new vertical on the women’s site The Toast, is none of these things. Run by acclaimed novelist and feminist writer Roxane Gay, The Butter publishes cultural criticism, personal essays and short fiction on topics like body image and sexual violence, Bollywood and Bill Cosby. It’s smart, irreverent, probing and thoughtful; the Internet full of heart. Read The Butter at the-toast.net. SNACK | Let’s get this out of the way first — these are not chips. Not the greasy, salty, satisfyingly crunchy, deep-fried junk food we love to mindlessly munch on at backyard barbeques or alongside a sandwich. QUEST PROTEIN CHIPS are unequivocally a health food, and they taste like it. I bought a bag of the BBQ flavor earlier this month on a whim during a protein-bar run at GNC because I was impressed with the stats: one large serving has 21 grams of protein, 1.5 grams of fat and 5 grams of carbs for just 120 calories. For a protein-rich, carb-conscious alternative to a bag of Lay’s from the vending machine, these may just do the trick. n

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CULTURE | THEATER

From left: Melody Deatherage, Jerry Sciarrio, Tamara Schupman, Sarah Uptagrafft and Jennifer Jacobs are part of a spirited Second Helping cast. DAN BAUMER PHOTO

A Joyful Noise

The Church Basement Ladies are back with minor cast changes but the same lighthearted spirit BY E.J. IANNELLI

hen we last caught up with the quartet of Lutheran congregants known as the Church Basement Ladies, they were preparing for a Sunday school nativity play in the franchise’s Christmas-

themed installment, Away in a Basement. Outside the theater it was December 2013; onstage it was 1959, five years before the events in the first Church Basement Ladies play, which had debuted to popular acclaim at Interplay-

ers (now The Modern) during the theater’s summer session earlier in the year. Now it’s time for A Second Helping, the official Church Basement Ladies sequel. It’s set in 1969, which puts it five years after the original and a decade after the prequel. Director Jeff Sanders says the internal timeline of the plays and the order in which they’re being staged might be “a little bit of a head spin” chronologically, but audiences will find it easy to establish the continuity. After all, nothing much changes among these churchgoers in rural Minnesota. Or does it? “It’s 1969, which sees this series of watershed moments for us as a country,” says Sanders. “As that’s happening in the much bigger world of the United States, it’s happening in this little church basement as well in small,

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INLAND NORTHWEST HISTORY

human ways. And so each character is undergoing an important change, an important epiphany that moves them forward in their lives. They were in a stasis of sorts, and now they’re being pushed forward into some kind of personal progress.” As the characters undergo change, so has the cast of actors playing them. Jennifer Jacobs and Sarah Uptagrafft return for the third time as mother/daughter duo Karin and Signe (Beverly) Engleson. Jerry Sciarrio is also back for a hat trick as Pastor Gunderson. The role of Vivian Snustad, however, will pass to Melody Deatherage, its third performer in as many plays. And after two appearances as Mavis Gilmerson, audience favorite Kathie Doyle-Lipe has had to bow out due to injury; Tamara Schupman will step in. Sanders is filling the vacant director’s chair left by Michael Weaver, who oversaw both prior Church Basement Ladies productions. “It’s been a nice blend between the old crew and the new crew,” he says, “and I think we’ve had an exciting time creating something that’s organic and new. I hope that’s what come across to the audience, so it doesn’t seem like we’re just recycling bits.” Perhaps because he’s coming to the play for the first time, Sanders has found unexpected delights in A Second Helping that longtime fans of the franchise will share. One of the songs, “Vivian’s Bad Trip,” plays on the psychedelic milieu as it describes Vivian’s bold (for her, at least) trip to the Twin Cities “where all the unwashed hippies live.” “One of the big things that I told the cast and the designers was that if we’re not enjoying ourselves doing this show, then there’s really no point,” says Sanders. “So let’s bring a joyful noise to this piece and celebrate what’s often uncelebrated.” n Church Basement Ladies: A Second Helping • Dec. 12 to Jan. 4: Wed-Sat, 7:30 pm; Sun, 2 pm • $25 ($23 student/military, $21 senior, $19 junior) • The Modern Theater Spokane • 174 S. Howard • 455-7529 • themoderntheater.org

T i m e l e s s Ta l e s o f S p o k a n e a n d t h e I n l a n d N o r t hwe s t , Vo l u m e 1

TIMELESS TALES OF SPOKANE AND THE INLAND NORTHWEST I

EDITED BY TED S. McGREG

Timeless Tales of Spok ane and the Inland No rthwest, Volume 1

OR JR.

f you call yourself an Inlander , you need to know the stories. Do you remember those ancient ivory tusks pulled from a farm down on the Palouse? What happene d after fur trappers set up their first trading post on the Spokane River? Or how a local basketba ll team captivated the nation? What about “The Biggest Thing That Man Has Ever Done”? A World’s Fair? Those are just a few of the tales that define the rich history of the Inland Northwest — stories that were first retold in the pages of the Inlander newspaper starting in 1993. In Inlander Histories, you’ll meet Nell Shipman, the silent film star who launched her own studio on the shores of Priest Lake. You’ll hop a flight over Mt. St. Helens on a particularly memorable day. And you’ll learn how Walt Worthy kept the dream of Louis Davenport alive in downtown Spokane. Noted local historians Jack Nisbet, Robert Carriker and William Stimson join Inlander staff writers, including Sheri Boggs, Andrew Strickman and Mike Bookey, to take you on a tour of some of the most important moments in the region’s past. Collected together for the first time, Inlander Histories pieces together the tapestry of Eastern Washington and North Idaho culture, creating a rare documen t of life in the “inland” part of this corner of the continent.

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uw.edu/spokanemedschool DECEMBER 11, 2014 INLANDER 43

Sugar Rush

Spokandy preps year-round to handle an influx of orders during the holiday season BY CHEY SCOTT

ecades of sweets-making at Spokandy’s downtown factory have left their mark. Around its many melting kettles, dried drizzles of chocolate stain the 75-year-old building’s hardwood floor. Though most of the equipment is modern, remnants of the past remain, like a caramel cooker estimated to be 85 years old. The massive steel-and-copper contraption is still used almost daily to cook Spokandy’s proprietary caramels. From November through Christmas Day, 12-hour days aren’t unusual for its chocolatiers. While it may be assumed other holidays outdo Christmas time for peak candy consumption, Spokandy president and owner Todd Davis says the end-of-year giving season is by far his

company’s busiest. Christmas time means a 25 percent jump in Spokandy’s production, and the fourth quarter alone makes up about 40 percent of the company’s annual profit. “During the holiday time, you have everyone giving — corporate [clients], wholesale and personal giving,” Davis says. “All those facets are coming together, and that’s what’s making this time really busy. It’s the time of giving, and what better to give than chocolate?” On a recent Thursday morning as the sidewalks along west Third Avenue are lightly dusted with snow, classic holiday songs play in Spokandy’s otherwise quiet storefront, adjacent to its factory headquarters. The rich aroma of fresh choco-

late and mint wafts through the store. Two female employees in black aprons and white fabric gloves box up chocolates behind a long counter of cases filled with all kinds of treats: foil-wrapped cherry cordials, chewy caramel cubes, melt-in-your-mouth mints, candy bars and truffles of every flavor. In all, Spokandy produces more than 140 products, the majority of which are still made mostly by hand using oldfashioned recipes from the early days of the company’s 101 years. All of this sweet, sugary magic is orchestrated just beyond a red “employees only” door separating the calm setting of the retail area from Spokandy’s cramped, bustling factory.

Spokandy’s classic treats take on a more festive look for the holidays. YOUNG KWAK PHOTO.

44 INLANDER DECEMBER 11, 2014

o expedite the 10-to-12 hour chocolate melting process, candymakers use a hammer to pulverize solid 10-pound bricks of chocolate. The sweet shards are then dumped into one of many automated machines throughout the factory floor that constantly heat and stir the viscous, molten substance. Because it’s a small-scale manufacturer, Spokandy orders — by the short ton — various blends of chocolate from large-scale producers who process the raw cocoa beans into finished chocolate. Across from a kettle of silky, liquid milk chocolate, an employee wearing a hair net loads squares of caramel onto a conveyor belt that pushes the candies under a waterfall of liquid chocolate. Opposite her, another worker dips a brush in dark chocolate and adds a streaked pattern to the freshly coated treats. At the end of the conveyor, on the far end of the room, a third employee inspects and boxes up the finished chocolates to ship one of Spokandy’s many wholesale clients across the West Coast. Wholesale accounts are the company’s most rapidly growing business sector. Davis spends the slower part of the year traveling to trade shows around the country to recruit new wholesalers of Spokandy’s old-fashioned products. Because of these accounts, Christmas season preparations begin as early as June. Certain candies with a longer shelf life — most chocolates have about a six-month window — can be produced earlier and shipped out to Spokandy’s wholesale accounts. There’s also Christmas-themed packaging to order, he adds. Activity in the Spokane chocolate factory picks up noticeably in mid-November when large-batch custom orders from Spokandy’s corporate customers also start rolling in, often for specially molded chocolates showing a company’s logo.

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hough Spokandy was originally founded by early Spokanite Terrence J. Riley in 1913, the chocolatier didn’t take its current name until 1965. It’s been headquartered on West Third since then, in a former grocery store building erected in 1940. But in nearly 50 years there, Spokandy has more than outgrown the spot. Davis is now considering an expanded, modernized facility, but hasn’t made any firm decisions regarding a move. Spokandy’s recent growth is due both to its longtime name recognition and Davis’ purchase and merging of two other Northwest candy makers — Helen’s Huckleberries and Michele’s Truffles — into the company’s overall identity. He decided to keep both ventures’ former names as sub-brands of the founding company. Davis bought Spokandy in 1991, with big visions for its future. Today, reflecting on the company’s consistency since its inception and since he took over, he says, “We have survived wars, crashes, downturns. You survive by doing what you do, and doing it well. I think the founders would be proud.” n cheys@inlander.com

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MORE THAN CHOCOLATE

No stranger to the end-of-year order rush is White Box Café & Bakery, which recently relocated, in the same building but around the corner from its former space at Ruby and Sharp. Owner Shirley Glodt says just for Thanksgiving, the small, non-commercial bakery filled thousands of orders for pie. White Box is currently accepting orders for desserts of all kinds — pies, cakes, pastries, cookies and other goodies — to be filled in time for Christmas. Glodt’s bakery staff are already busy prepping pie crusts and other baked goods so the team can manage the massive influx in special orders over the coming weeks. — CHEY SCOTT White Box Café & Bakery • 1215 N. Ruby • whiteboxpies.com • 927-8850

509 789 6848 • palmcourtgrill.com Historic Davenport Hotel 10 S. Post St., Downtown Spokane

DECEMBER 11, 2014 INLANDER 45

FOOD | BAR

The tuna tartare from the Dam Bar and Grill. ASHLEY TOMLINSON PHOTO

On the River

The Red Lion Hotel expands its offerings with a new bar and grill BY JO MILLER

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t the back of the Red Lion Hotel at the Park, the Park Place Lounge used to be just a hotel lounge catering to adults. But in July, the Red Lion replaced it with the Dam Bar and Grill. The hotel’s general manager Michael Fear says they made the switch because the Park Place Lounge didn’t represent what they wanted to become. The hotel wanted a restaurant open to all ages that offered two meals a day and drew in more than just hotel guests. Since the restaurant sits along the Centennial Trail and faces the dam bridge crossing over to Riverfront Park, the aim is to accommodate locals, conventioneers and people using the trail. “There are lots of bikers and joggers and hikers,” Fear says. “It’s a nice place to stop in after a good run or a break from your bike.” He points out healthy items on the menu, like their list of salads that includes a seasonal kale salad ($11) topped with red onions, roasted red bell peppers, slivered almonds, Kalamata olives, feta, dried apricots and cranberries, all tossed in a roasted garlic yogurt vinaigrette with the option of adding chicken or salmon. The rest of the handheld items, small plates and

large plates on the menu are largely regionally inspired. “With everything we do now we’re trying to use local ingredients, whether it’s the Washington seafood cioppino ($23), the flat iron steak ($27) or the Montana bison burger ($12),” says Fear. For executive chef Scott Rutter — who was featured on Top Chef before eventually coming to Spokane — some of his favorites on the menu include the pan-seared king salmon ($20) served with a quinoa salad and the Draper Valley Farms chicken breast ($18) that’s roasted with an herb rub and petit crimson lentils. Pair your meal with one of several local brews — currently including offerings from Waddell’s, River City and Paradise Creek — or one of their signature cocktails. Chef Rutter says you’ll also find nightly specials not on the regular menu that have a seasonal feel, such as apple ciderbrined kurobuta pork loin or smoked pheasant soup. n The Dam Bar and Grill • 303 W. North River Dr. • Open daily, 11 am-midnight • redlion. com/park-spokane • 326-8000

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46 INLANDER DECEMBER 11, 2014

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FOOD | OPENING

Keeping it Classic Breakfast and lunch are done like you remember at Jeffrey’s BY CARRIE SCOZZARO

effrey’s Restaurant in Coeur d’Alene is not just a breakfast place, though they have everything you’d expect from a breakfast menu for everyone from early birds to late sleepers. Wake up to homemade biscuits and bacony gravy ($3.10 half/$4.15 full), French toast ($4.85) or a mushroom omelet ($8.55). At Jeffrey’s you can do several variations of an egg, sausage or bacon and fruit or toast for under $5. For hearty eaters, pork chops and eggs ($8.65/$12.10) are sure to fill you up, or try house specialties like a mish-mash of hand-shredded hashbrowns, eggs, bacon, ham, onion and cheese called the Best Breakfast in Town ($9.10). If that was all Jeffrey’s offered, we could probably pencil in a Saturday morning splurge or two. But while your dining companions pour syrup over their gargantuan pancakes with huckleberries, you’re crunching curly fries that accompany your juicy burger ($7.40). Additional sandwiches include warm handfuls like the tuna melt ($8.20), open-faced beef or turkey with mashed potatoes and gravy ($8.10) — in case you were going through postThanksgiving day withdrawals — and old-fashioned Reuben with sauerkraut and grilled rye ($8.95). Hot plate specials at this Sherman Avenue diner range from ham steak with grilled pineapple ($7.95) to handcut cod filets in a custom batter ($7.95), all with a choice of sides. The menu rounds out with salads like the crispy chicken ($9.35), and from-scratch desserts like pie or cheesecake ($3.25). No alcohol, closed on Sunday, plenty of good food that’s fresh and fast, served with a smile. If that sounds like classic diner food, that’s the intent for owners Jeffrey and Kathy Grossman. This is the second location for the Grossmans, who met more than 30 years ago while working in a restaurant and have operated a similar Jeffrey’s location in Lewiston, Idaho, for nearly as long. Community is important, says Kathy. “It’s the locals that sustain us.” 

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Jeffrey’s Restaurant • 1801 E. Sherman Ave., Coeur d’Alene • Open Mon-Sat, 5 am-2 pm • Facebook: Jeffrey’s Restaurant • 208-665-9482 JAN, THE TOY LADY, SINGS ALONG TO “HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS”:

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River Park Square (509) 456-TOYS DECEMBER 11, 2014 INLANDER 47

Let My People Go Big Exodus: Gods and Kings fails when it tries to humanize its spectacle BY SCOTT RENSHAW

t’s… big. Whatever else you might want to say about Ridley Scott’s Exodus: Gods and Kings, you can’t deny that it’s big. Big scale on the CGI-enhanced sets, big crowd scenes, big plagues, big acting — they’re all here. Pull out your thesaurus and substitute every synonym for “big” that you can find — vast, immense, colossal, jumbo — and they will all apply. Except for God. The Lord Jehovah is represented in this movie as a child. But we’ll get to that. Hollywood cinema in the early 21st century is a parade of attempts by movies to top the bigness of the movie that came before. Every superhero movie has its city-leveling apocalyptic battle; every blockbuster needs its IMAX-sized set pieces; every literary adaptation has its all-star cast. An industry desperately looking to get butts in seats keeps turning to sheer enormity as a way to counteract the universe of things people can watch any time they want on small screens — and, just as happened in the 1950s, when Hollywood was battling the rise of television, that means turning to Biblical epics. Here, Scott and his team of writers have turned to the story of Moses (Christian Bale) and Rhamses (Joel Edgerton), raised as brothers in the palace of Egypt’s pharaoh, until Moses learns that he was actually born of the Hebrews who serve as Egypt’s slaves and becomes their leader in their fight for freedom. But the film also turns back to the grand tradition of films like The Ten Commandments in its hilariously oblivious casting decisions. Controversy has already swirled around the

48 INLANDER DECEMBER 11, 2014

casting of Bale as Moses and the paucity of Middle the diseased livestock, and so forth. Eastern actors among the film’s “Egyptians,” but it’s Meanwhile, Rhamses alternates between vaguely also hard to deny the high comedy of John Turturro as petulant jealousy at the preference shown to his the pharaoh Seti, or Ben Mendelsohn going full leering adopted brother Moses and doting father to his infant effeminate as the corrupt Egyptian viceroy Hegep. son, with Edgerton seeming truly baffled as to how to It’s even harder to deny that Scott — who honed play him. Bale seems even more confused in his swings his period-epic chops on Gladiator and Kingdom of between nobleman, courtly wooer of his wife Séfora Heaven — knows how to deliver spectacle, if spectacle (María Valverde) and tormented de facto Hebrew is what you came for. The pyramid-and-statue-studded leader who somehow develops the accent of an old cityscapes of the Egyptian capital of Memphis are as Jewish man from Brooklyn during the film’s second impressive in their aboveground scale as the slave quarhalf. The narrow line between prophet and lunatic ry at Pithom is impressive in its belowground scale; walked by Russell Crowe in Noah looks all the more the opening battle between Egyptian forces and the impressive by comparison. Hittites manages some effectively controlled wartime But Exodus’ uneasy mix of the majestic and the chaos. The landslide along a mountain mundane feels uneasiest in the EXODUS: GODS AND KINGS scenes where Moses communipath that wipes out many of Rhamses’ Rated PG-13 troops feels genuinely catastrophic, and cates with a Yahweh who has Directed by Ridley Scott the wave that returns the water to the taken the form of a preternatuStarring Christian Bale, Joel Edgerton, parted Red Sea… well, it’s big. Really, rally serene young boy. It is here John Turturro really big. that we’re supposed to get a sense What’s odd about Exodus: Gods of the meaning of “Israelite,” clariand Kings is that even as it’s pulling out all the stops fied by Moses in an earlier scene as “one who wrestles for visual grandeur, it’s trying desperately to provide with God,” providing a sense of the Chosen People’s a humanized, naturalistic approach to the story’s personal relationship with awesome power. Yet every mythological characters and supernatural events. The time Exodus tries to shrink anything down to a more Nile runs with blood, this version is careful to explain, human size, it just feels silly. These filmmakers don’t merely as the result of a crocodile feeding frenzy gone seem to realize they’ve only really got awesomeness gohaywire, and the flies come because, well, what do you ing for them. If they weren’t going to go all-in on going expect with all those dead fish and frogs, and thence big, they might as well have gone home. 

FILM | SHORTS

BRING THE WHOLE FAMILY!

The Immortalists

OPENING FILMS THE IMMORTALISTS

What if you could reverse the aging process? It’s a question that goes back to Ponce de Leon and his quest for the Fountain of Youth. This documentary gives us a pair of scientists — one a long-bearded, beer-crushing theoretical biologist and the other a facts-first, lab-coated ultra marathoner — who are hell bent on putting an end to the “tragedy” of aging. Along the way, we learn a ton of biology, but also plenty of these guys’ personal motives. Both have relatives or spouses either suffering from health issues or are advanced in age. The film also spends some time meditating on our natural fear of aging and death, which is where the documentary delivers its most interesting moments. At Magic Lantern (MB) Not Rated

CITIZENFOUR

An intimate look at Edward Snowden’s life in the days just before his spooky

treasure trove of NSA secrets went public thanks to Glenn Greenwald and Laura Poitras, the latter of whom directed this film. Citizenfour takes place almost exclusively in Snowden’s Hong Kong hotel room. The details laid out, though, are enough to keep you riveted and make you wonder why this story isn’t still dominating the news cycle. At Magic Lantern (MS) Rated R

EXODUS

Here, Ridley Scott has turned to the story of Moses (Christian Bale) and Rhamses (Joel Edgerton), raised as brothers in the palace of Egypt’s pharaoh, until Moses learns that he was actually born of the Hebrews who serve as Egypt’s slaves and becomes their leader in their fight for freedom. The effects are impressive and on a grand scale, but the performances and chopped-up story undermine those efforts. (SR) Rated PG-13

NOW PLAYING AWAKE: THE LIFE OF YOGANANDA

Yeah, everybody does yoga these days, but it didn’t always used to be that way. This documentary tells the story of Paramahansa Yogananda, who brought the ancient art to the Western world in the 1920s and also penned The Autobiography of a Yogi. Without him, your Saturday mornings would probably have a lot less downward dog. At Magic Lantern (MB) Rated PG

BIG HERO 6

Boy genius Hiro Hamada (Ryan Potter) spends his time illegally hustling in robot fights until his brother shows him his college science lab where his buddies are making astounding inventions under the tutelage of professor Robert Callaghan (James Cromwell). But after tragedy strikes, Hiro accidentally activates Tadashi’s project — a marsh-

PRESENT

mallow-puffy medical robot named Baymax (Scott Adsit). Together they discover Hiro’s microbots were stolen by a Kabuki mask-wearing villain who plans to use them for destruction. (SS) Rated PG

BIRDMAN

After good work in lots of small supporting roles over the past couple of decades, Michael Keaton gets back to work as a former franchise movie star now trying to make a comeback on the Broadway stage, but finding obstacles everywhere, many of them in his own head. He’s accompanied by a great cast, including Naomi Watts and Emma Stone, but the most sparks fly in Keaton’s scenes with a Method-mad actor played by Edward Norton. (ES) Rated R ...continued on next page

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THE IMMORTALISTS (78 MIN PG)

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FILM | SHORTS

NOW PLAYING DUMB AND DUMBER TO

A mere two decades after Harry and Lloyd executed the dumbest crosscountry road trip in history, Jeff Daniels (Harry) and Jim Carrey (Lloyd) are back for another asinine adventure — this time to track down Harry’s long-lost daughter. Unlike the unsuccessful 2003 prequel, the writing/directing Farrelly brothers are on board for this one along with the original stars. The question is, will the fans who wanted a sequel back in the ’90s be back as well? (DN) Rated PG-13

FURY

The five-man crew of the U.S. Sherman tank nicknamed “Fury” is in a hell of a mess: broken down and alone in the middle of a German battlefield in April 1945, one member of the team already dead and the odds of survival looking bleak. They’re forced to band together behind their sadistic leader (Brad Pitt), who goes by the name “Wardaddy” and beats the living crap out of his troops. The guys learn a thing or two about humanity along the way. (SR) Rated R

GONE GIRL

David Fincher (Fight Club, The Social Network) gets his paws on the novel by Gillian Flynn (who also wrote the script) and comes up with one of the twisting-est, turning-est and most unsettling movies of the year. Ben Affleck is the once-happy husband whose once-happy wife, Rosamund Pike, up and vanishes on the morning of their fifth anniversary, with lots of clues and a few secrets pointing directly at him as the perpetrator. (ES) Rated R

HORRIBLE BOSSES 2

Seeking to raise funds for their business, a trio played by Jason Bateman, Jason Sudeikis and Charlie Day turn to venture capitalist Bert Hanson (Christoph Waltz) and his son Rex (Chris Pine) to get them started. But when Bert deliberately screws them on their deal — forcing them into a foreclosure where he can swoop in and cash in — the friends turn to an option that conveniently combines revenge with fiscal practicality: kidnapping Rex and using the ransom money to save their business. (SR) Rated R

THE HUNGER GAMES: MOCKINGJAY, PART 1

Tickets at Ticketswest.com and 1-800-325-Seat 50 INLANDER DECEMBER 11, 2014

Rated PG

Katniss Everdeen (Jennifer Lawrence), reluctant heroine of District 12, has been snatched from the arena where impoverished teenagers play out a to-the-death bloodsport for the amusement of their overlords of the decadent Capitol. In that arena, she accidentally inspired a nation of downtrodden serfs in the future North American nation of Panem to begin tentatively to rise up. Now, she is among her rescuers, the people of the lone outright rebellious district, 13, the leaders of which hope to use her as a symbol to ignite all-out civil war. (MB) Rated PG-13

INTERSTELLAR

Coop (Matthew McConaughey) is a lonely would-be adventurer in a

THE PYRAMID

world that, like ours, has lost its taste for space exploration and is teetering on the edge of environmental collapse. Mathematician Brand (Michael Caine) and his scientist daughter Amelia (Anne Hathaway) are trying to keep space dreams alive and there’s real urgency to their work, because they’ve discovered a wormhole out near Saturn that could hold the key to humanity’s salvation: a new planet to call home on the other side. It doesn’t take much for the Brands to convince Coop that a trip through the wormhole to scout for a habitable planet would satisfy both his thirst for adventure and his desire to save his children from the oncoming doom. (MJ) Rated PG-13

NIGHTCRAWLER

Lou Bloom (Jake Gyllenhaal) is a creepy guy with obvious psychotic tendencies. Then he meets his first nightcrawler, someone who goes out after dark, following leads from police scanners and, video camera in hand, rushes to crime scenes, gets bloody footage, then hightails it to whatever local TV station will pay the most to put it on the air first. Lou gets good at this, sells a lot of footage and then begins getting in way over his head. (ES) Rated R

PELICAN DREAMS

Bird-loving filmmaker Judy Irving (The Wild Parrots of Telegraph Hill) gives us this look at brown pelicans by documenting the struggle of one bird in particular, who is found stopping traffic on the Golden Gate Bridge. We learn of other challenges facing the brown pelican, including oil spills, fisheries and more. (MB) Not Rated

PENGUINS OF MADAGASCAR

Regular viewers of the Emmy Awardwinning Nickelodeon series The Penguins of Madagascar will be familiar with all the characters here. Newcomers, however, might get the whiteand-black cuties mixed up as they blur around the screen making dad jokes and getting into their usual hijinks as they fight off a mean octopus named Dave who’s trying to eradicate penguins from the face of the earth. (KJ)

So, there’s, like, this pyramid in the desert that’s been buried underground for a super long time and then these scientists or filmmakers or something dig up the pyramid and go inside it even though there’s this, like, army guy who gets all pissed off and tells them to get out of there, but they go in anyway. Then they’re all, like, walking through the pyramid trying to make discoveries and stuff and a bunch of ghosts or mummies or something try to kill them. (MB) Rated R

ROSEWATER

As a director, Jon Stewart takes on a story that originated, in some ways, with a Daily Show segment. Iranian native Maziar Bahari, then a documentary filmmaker and Newsweek journalist living in London, went back to Iran to cover the election and part of that included being part of a joke segment with the Daily Show. He got some great interviews and some amazing footage of protests in the streets, and then he was arrested, accused of being a spy — because of that segment — tossed into solitary, and was regularly beaten with the idea of getting a confession out of him. (ES) Rated R

ST. VINCENT

Bill Murray stars as the titular Vincent, a broke, alcoholic, degenerate, curmudgeonly gambler with a crude Brooklyn accent who manages to become the after-school babysitter of his neighbor kid when his mother (Melissa McCarthy) takes extra hours as a nurse. The pair slowly warms to each other as Vincent shows Oliver the ways of the world in his unconventional manner (certainly more Bad Santa than Up). (SS) Rated R

THE THEORY OF EVERYTHING

The Theory of Everything delicately observes the boundless universe of love’s possibilities — what we’re willing to give, what we’re willing to take, what we’re willing to endure. Inspired by Jane Wilde Hawking’s memoir about her life with former husband Stephen Hawking, the brilliant theoretical physicist (A Brief History of Time) diagnosed with motor neuron disease at age 21, the film’s heart beats with a romantic optimism, even when each of them finds new soulmates and their union ends. (SD) Rated PG-13 

CRITICS’ SCORECARD THE NEW YORK INLANDER TIMES

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The man who blew the top off the NSA’s spying programs.

Enemy of the State?

Citizenfour brings Edward Snowden’s revelations back to the forefront BY MARC SAVLOV

fter watching Pulitzer Prize winner Laura Poitras’ film is shot almost entirely in the Poitras’ new documentary about the Hong Kong hotel room where her subject fled early-on brouhaha surrounding governfrom his Booz Allen Hamilton/NSA post in ment whistleblower Edward Snowden, you’ve Hawaii; seeing Snowden this way humanizes him got to wonder why his story — and its devastating in a way no print media source could. He paces, revelations — have faded into mere background he frets about his girlfriend back home, and he murmurings in these United (kinda, sorta) States. strategizes with Greenwald and MacAskill about Unlike the title of this film, which refers to when and how best to begin releasing his generathe email handle Snowden first used to contact tion’s more incendiary version of the Pentagon journalist Glenn Greenwald and then Poitras, Papers. Poitras keeps things simple and clean, Citizenfour is an intimate look at Snowden’s life notating days, times, and sequences of events in the days just before his spooky treasure trove via blackout cuts. She intercuts the rumpled went public, then viral. Gangly and pale with (but extremely eloquent, given the situation) deepening shadows under his eyes, Snowden first Snowden with assorted seismic news clips and appears to be an unlikely hero, and in multiple people like former U.S. intelligence official and meetings with Poitras, Greenwald and Ewen NSA employee/whistleblower William Binney. MacAskill, The Guardian’s British muckraking (Binney’s take on the heretofore covert intel? stalwart, he repeatedly says, “I don’t want to be a He’s not surprised in the least.) A queasy sort of martyr. I am not the story here.” constantly shifting sonic unease comes But as Poitras’ doc clearly shows, CITIZENFOUR courtesy of Trent Reznor and Atticus he cannot help but be so. Snowden Ross’ white-noisey score. Rated R burst onto the world stage clasping Is Snowden an idealistic young Directed by Laura Poitras truckloads (OK, thumb drives) of patriot, yearning to help us all breathe At Magic Lantern cold, hard, terrifically tangible proof a little freer? Or is he, as the Obama of what so many had feared for administration continues to declare, decades. From POTUS all the way down to NSA an uncommon criminal, perhaps even a Russian and DOD, our own Dear Leaders had initiated double agent, and therefore someone who should the creation of a clandestine shadow government be extradited back to the U.S. to face the brute that recorded the citizenry’s every email, text, force of American justice? Citizenfour is obviphone call, and digital communiqué of all kinds. ously in Snowden’s corner, but as an example of And not just the American citizenry, but also that pure cinéma vérité, this is the finest — and most of Brazil, Germany, the UK, and who knows disturbing — political documentary since Alex how many other sovereign nations. Gibney’s Oscar-winning Taxi to the Dark Side. 

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DECEMBER 11, 2014 INLANDER 51

L O O C N R E D O M

Jessica H ernandez kicks out steeped i new jams n Detroit ’s musica l roots BY DAN NA IL

52 INLANDER DECEMBER 11, 2014

he time slot was far from ideal. Early Monday afternoon at Bumbershoot, the last gasp of the festival and hours before the day’s headliners would draw more people to Seattle Center. As the clock struck 2:45 pm, Jessica Hernandez and the Deltas took the Starbucks Stage to scattered applause from a few dozen people strewn across the lawn sunning themselves on a hot afternoon. Some drank beer. Others ate pizza. Most sat and chatted with friends, oblivious that it was showtime. They wouldn’t stay seated for long. The hyperkinetic Hernandez and the musicians making up the Deltas launched a rock revue that

turned the dozens into hundreds within a few songs. This was no retro thing a la Sharon Jones and the Dap-Kings, though. Rather, Hernandez and the Deltas offered a modern twist on their Detroit hometown’s history of killer garage rock, R&B and soul. Horns and organs punctured the steamy air, intermingling with surfguitar riffs and slithering rockabilly. And then there was the Voice. Hernandez has the kind of pipes that evoke comparisons to Adele, but you won’t find that British soul sister stomping around in combat boots and a miniskirt, pounding a drum next to her spot at center stage. Listening to the band’s full-length debut, Secret Evil, particularly its soaring ballads, you might imagine Hernandez as a demure presence. Watch her lead the Deltas through a set like she did on that balmy Monday, and you quickly realize she’s anything but timid. Hernandez’s inner drive and childhood as the ringleader of a little brother and a bunch of younger male cousins make her utterly comfortable in pushing the Deltas to achieve the sounds in her head. It’s a role that fits, and she laughs easily in talking about life on the road with a bunch of boys in a van. “They’ll tell you I’m a pretty bossy person,” Hernandez says. “I’m definitely ‘Type A.’ I’ve always had that thing in me, and the guys and I are all close and we have that brother/sister relationship, a trust and a playfulness. Even on the worst days, it’s like a family fight. Like, ‘Alright, you’re being an idiot. Stop chewing with your mouth open.’ And then the fight’s over.” The band’s relationship has grown organically through the past few years, after Hernandez returned to Detroit and started playing solo acoustic shows after spending a couple of years in fashion school in Chicago. Wanting to beef up her sound and tour a bit, she started recruiting musicians she knew had the musical chops to bounce across genres as her songwriting required, and be fun to hang with as well. As the band solidified and Hernandez began making noise on the local Detroit scene, her songwriting evolved naturally toward the strengths of the band. She can tell the difference on the songs filling Secret Evil. “That’s kind of why the record feels a little all over the place,” Hernandez says. “Half the songs were written before I started playing with them, and half after. And even though I wasn’t writing with them (on the newer songs), I had in mind, ‘OK, I have a brass section. I have an organ player.’ And I’d write differently.” The results speak for themselves. Secret Evil is a thrilling debut that promises great things in the future. Songs like “Sorry I Stole Your Man” offer girl-group doo-wop, “Dead Brains” throbs with funky bass, and ballads like “Neck Tattoo” and “Lovers First” showcase Hernandez’s considerable vocal skills. Lyrically, too, the songs are delivered from a strong female point of view too lacking in much of modern pop. That strength comes from her roots in Detroit, a city with as musically rich a history as any in America, between the punk of MC5 and the Stooges, Motown’s soul acts, the shock-rock of Alice Cooper and the modern garage scene that spawned the White Stripes. While the city has struggled economically, the art and music scene is still thriving, Hernandez says, and is a tight-knit community full of “really creative types.” Consider Hernandez one of them. Judging from her entertaining videos and her performance at Bumbershoot, it’s clear she cares about the visual aspect of her band as well as the sound. She aspires to be the complete package she sees in her own favorite artists like Tom Waits or Gogol Bordello. “For me, music has always gone hand in hand with fashion and performance,” Hernandez says. “All my favorite performers have these weird theatrics to them. I think about Tom Waits, he’s like a manly dude, but he’s a theater guy. He’s a performer who has this whole darkness to his stage persona. “You want everything people are seeing to match what they’re hearing. You want it to be one complete package, giving your audience something cool to experience.” Hernandez and the Deltas might be young, but they have that part down.  dann@inlander.com Jessica Hernandez and the Deltas with Heavy Seventeen • Thu, Dec. 18, at 8 pm • $8/$10 day of • All-ages • The Bartlett • 228 W. Sprague • thebartlettspokane.com • 747-2174

DECEMBER 11, 2014 INLANDER 53

MUSIC | EDM

An Elektro Grave concertgoer dances hard at last month’s show. KRISTEN BLACK PHOTO

KnittingFactory_112014_4S_BD.jpg

Weird Cousin

Out of the mainstream, goth EDM music gets monthly play at the Hop! BY MOLLY SMITH

54 INLANDER DECEMBER 11, 2014

he dress code is simple: head-to-toe black. In contrast to the sweaty young people at a typical electronic dance music show pushing their way toward a DJ, this night’s Elektro Grave attendees, comprised of about 30 people, appear to at least be old enough to remember the dark era of 1980s gothic music. A few folks wear chains, some wear dark lipstick and the group’s unofficial photographer hides his entire face behind a scary plastic mask. Some spectators bob their heads with drinks in their hand, while others go absolutely nuts, running all over the open space at the Hop! On stage DJ Ryan Hollingsworth, aka Doktor Reaktor, is mostly obstructed through smoke that rises out of a full-size decorative coffin. He mixes electronic beats with obscure goth and industrial music created largely by bands that don’t exist anymore. The electronic aspects are that of classic techno: no fancy drops, bells or whistles. Adding an electronic element keeps the music relevant while simultaneously paying tribute to goth as it used to be. Hollingsworth describes it as, “one foot on [EDM] and one foot wandering.” Since April 2013, Elektro Grave has appeared at the Hop! about once every month, sometimes rotating between different themes like sci-fi night, glam night and various costume parties. All of the event planning, booking and imagery is created by Hollingsworth. “You can look forward to the same group of people,” says Justin Chavez, an active member of

the Elektro Grave community. Despite this subculture’s hard-core appearance, Chavez assures that they are “a loving and accepting group.” Growth has never been their main focus, since electronic goth music was never a fad in the first place. And they’re OK with that. As a small but mighty cohort, the Elektro Grave fans don’t seem to mind their sparse attendance. Instead of catering to the mainstream to attract more people, “We stay within the genre because that’s what we like,” says Hollingsworth. “[The DJs] put a lot of heart and soul into their music,” Chavez says as he looks down at the stage from the balcony. He talks about the friends he looks forward to seeing every month, the respect he has for Hollingsworth’s dedication to this project and of course, the music, which he says is, “really easy to move to.” Nearby on the balcony, a group of roughly 10 eyeliner-clad audience members are gathered together when the face-masked photographer interrupts mid-conversation. Like a mascot at a theme park, he uses his hands and body expressions to signal he’d like to snag a group photo. As the beat pulsates through the room, they squeeze together, throw their arms around one another and say “cheese.” n music@inlander.com Elektro Grave presents: KrampusNacht • Tue, Dec. 16, at 8 pm • $5 / under 21, free / over 21 • All-ages • The Hop! • 705 N. Monroe • thehopevents.com • 368-4077

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T H IG L T O P S N IA IC S U M L A C O L Steven King is a national champion and world-renown fingerstyle player from Spokane. “Music Corner is the only place I take my instruments to be serviced. I enjoy the great selection and their knowledgable staff.” More on Steven at www.guitarbystevenking.net

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music | sound advice

ROCK FLOGGING MOLLY

rish-influenced rock just hit Spokane hard in October with the Dropkick Murphys. The Young Dubliners will come through in February. But this weekend’s helping of Irish-American punk comes from L.A.-based Flogging Molly. On stage, Dublinborn lead singer Dave King leads his seven-piece band through some of the most wild, boot-stompin’ music out there. The instrumental combination of fiddle, tin whistle and accordion with drums and fuzzy guitars is undeniably perfect for writing drunken lullabies (also the title of the band’s biggest hit) — King’s croaky, Irish accent-tinged voice doesn’t hurt either. With this show you don’t have to wait until St. Patrick’s Day to feel Irish. — LAURA JOHNSON Flogging Molly with the Mighty Stef and the Pasadena Band • Sat, Dec. 13, at 8 pm • $33 • All-ages • Knitting Factory • 919 W. Sprague • sp.knittingfactory.com • 244-3279

J = the inlander RECOMMENDs this show J = All Ages Show

Thursday, 12/11

J The Big Dipper, Dawn of Life Buckhorn Inn, Spokane River Band Chinese Gardens (534-8491), Big Hair Revolution Coeur d’Alene Casino, PJ Destiny Crafted Tap House + Kitchen (208-292-4813), Kosh Cruisers, The Usual Suspects (acoustic) Fedora Pub, CdA Charter Jazz Jam Fizzie Mulligans, Luke Jaxton Grande Ronde Cellars, Old Time Music with Carlos Alden J The Hop!, Level Ground, Ceez Carter, Tone Kang, DJ Big Mike, DJ WesOne John’s Alley, Lyrics Born J Luxe Coffeehouse, Particlehead O’Shay’s, Open mic Underground 15, Stevie Lynne The Viking Bar and Grill, Flannel Math Animal Zola, Sonny Brookbank Band

Friday, 12/12

J Auntie’s Bookstore (8380206), Robinsong J The Bartlett, The Round No. 3 feat. the Rustics, Ian and Austen Case, Scott Ryan and more Beverly’s, Robert Vaughn J The Big Dipper, Ugly Sweater Christmas Party with Blackwater Prophet, Bard, Bullets or Balloons, the Smokes (See story above) BOLO’S, Torino Drive Boomers Classic Rock Bar & Grill, Johnny’s Dragon Bowl’z Bitez and Spiritz, Likes Girls Buckhorn Inn, Native Sax Coeur d’alene Casino, Kosh, Smash Hit Carnival Curley’s, Uppercut Eichardt’s, Truck Mills

56 INLANDER DECEMBER 11, 2014

EVENT UGLY SWEATER CHRISTMAS

f you make it to only one gathering of brutally tacky outerwear this season, make it the Ugly Sweater Christmas Party at the Big Dipper on Saturday night. The stellar lineup includes local rock acts Bard (whose lead singer is named Patrick Stewart, and features an awesome saxophonist), Bullets Or Balloons (who hail from Spokane and Olympia), Blackwater Prophet (one of this year’s Inlander Bands to Watch) and the Smokes (who’ve only been around a couple of months). Show up wearing the loudest holiday sweater you can find; it will pair well with the music. — LAURA JOHNSON Ugly Sweater Christmas Party • Fri, Dec. 12, at 7:30 pm • $8/$10 day of • All-ages • The Big Dipper • 171 S. Washington • bigdipperevents.com • 863-8098

Fedora Pub, Ron Criscione Fizzie Mulligans, Phoenix Grande Ronde Cellars, Maxie Ray Mills The Handle Bar, The Usual Suspects The iron horse, The Cronkites John’s Alley, Aryon Jones and the Way Jones Radiator, Switching to Whiskey J Knitting Factory, Noize For Toyz with Drone Epidemic, Nixon Rodeo, Project Kings The Members Lounge (703-7115), DJ Selone and DJ Eaze Mezzo Pazzo Wine Bar, Lonesome Lyle Morse Northern Quest Casino, DJ Ramsin, DJ Freaky Fred Pend d’Oreille Winery, Nicole Lewis Twisp Cafe (474-9146), The Oracle’s Kitchen

The Viking Bar and Grill, Ryan Larsen Band Zola, Karma’s Circle

Saturday, 12/13

Beverly’s, Robert Vaughn J The Big Dipper, Rylei Franks, Sarah Cameron BOLO’S, Torino Drive Boomers Classic Rock Bar & Grill, Johnny’s Dragon Bowl’z Bitez and Spiritz, Likes Girls Buckhorn Inn, Native Sax J Chaps, Just Plain Darin with Tyler Coulston Coeur d’alene Casino, Kosh, Smash Hit Carnival Colville Eagles (684-4534), Killin’ TIme Curley’s, Uppercut Fizzie Mulligans, Phoenix J The Hop!, The Nightmare Before

Christmas Day 2 feat. FAUS, the Persevering Promise, the Wake of Giants, A Cryptic Ending, The Revision Scheme, BlackTracks, AeVum, Rot Monger, Saxeus, Pythium J Indaba (443-3566), Jordan Collins The iron horse, The Cronkites John’s Alley, Simba and the Exceptional Afticans J Jones Radiator, The Woolen Men, Normal Babies J Knitting Factory, Flogging Molly (See story above) The Lariat (466-9918), Dude Ranch Northern Quest Casino, DJ Ramsin, DJ Freaky Fred, DJ Patrick Underground 15, The Rustics, The Longnecks J The Viking Bar and Grill, Pine League, Driven in Waves, Bobby Meader

Willow Springs (235-4420), The Usual Suspects Zola, Karma’s Circle

Sunday, 12/14

Buckhorn Inn, Native Sax The Cellar, Pat Coast Coeur d’alene Casino, Kosh Daley’s Cheap Shots, Jam Night with VooDoo Church Iron Horse Bar & Grill, AlgoRhythms Zola, Bill Bozly

Monday, 12/15

J Calypsos (208-665-0591), Open Mic Eichardt’s, Monday Night Jam with Truck Mills J Knitting Factory, Down, Orange Goblin, Bl’Ast, King Parrot J Laguna Café, Nick Schauer & Craig Landron

 RICO’S (332-6566), Open Mic UNDERGROUND 15, Open Showcase ZOLA, Nate Ostrander Trio

Tuesday, 12/16

315 MARTINIS AND TAPAS, The Rub  THE BARTLETT, Open Mic  THE BIG DIPPER, The Colourflies CD release show FEDORA PUB, Tuesday Night Jam with Truck Mills

GET LISTED!

Email getlisted@inlander. com to get your event listed in the paper and online. We need the details one week prior to our publication date.

 THE HOP!, Elektro Grave presents: Krampusnacht (See story on page 54) JONES RADIATOR, Open Mic of Open-ness ZOLA, The Bucket List

Wednesday, 12/17

 THE BIG DIPPER, Tanner Azzinnaro  CHAPS, Land of Voices with Dirk Swartz EICHARDT’S, Charley Packard FIZZIE MULLIGANS, Kicho GARLAND AVENUE DRINKERY (3155327), Open Mic with DJ Scratch n Smith GENO’S (368-9087), Open Mic with T&T

JONES RADIATOR, Sally Bop Jazz LA ROSA CLUB, Robert Beadling and Friends THE LANTERN TAP HOUSE, Open Turntables Night with DJ Lydell LUCKY’S IRISH PUB, DJ D3VIN3 MEZZO PAZZO WINE BAR, Kevin Gardner of Spare Parts RED ROOM LOUNGE, Bodhi Drip SOULFUL SOUPS AND SPIRITS, Open mic ZOLA, The Bossame

Coming Up ...

THE HOP!, Arthritis Foundation Holiday Fundraiser feat. Reason for Existence with Sacred Grounds, Dec. 18 INB PERFORMING ARTS CENTER, Michael W. Smith Christmas Spectacular, Dec. 18  THE BARTLETT, Jessica Hernandez and the Deltas (See story on page 52), Heavy Seventeen, Dec. 18 BIGFOOT PUB, Scorpius reunion show, Dec. 19-20 THE VIKING BAR AND GRILL, Stepbrothers, Dec. 19 THE BIG DIPPER, The Broken Thumbs, the Fail Safe Project, Death by Pirates, DaethStar!, Dec. 19 THE BARTLETT, Bartlett Christmas Special feat. Water Monster, Marshall Mclean, Mama Doll, The Holy Broke, Caroline Fowler, Scott Ryan, Windoe, Dec. 19 BUCKHORN INN, Hotwire, Dec. 19 THE VIKING BAR AND GRILL, Ugly Sweater Party feat. Fusbol, Dec. 20

THE BIG DIPPER, Marshall McLean, Folkinception and Pine League, Dec. 20 KNITTING FACTORY, Sammy Eubanks’ Blues Christmas, Los Chingadores, Brad Mitchell, Chris Rieser & Snap the Nerve, Dec. 20 NYNE, Elton Jah Farewell Show and Xmas Bash, Dec. 20 THE PALOMINO CLUB, Moonshine Bandits with Big B & Demun Jones, Dec. 20 BUCKHORN INN, Ugly Sweater Party feat. Tufnel, Dec. 20 KNITTING FACTORY, The Backups EP release and Christmas concert, Dec. 21 KNITTING FACTORY, The Jingle Bell Rock & Metal Fest with Sorch the Fallen, Heart Avail, Amnija, the Expo, Rylei Franks, Over Due, Burning Clean, the Colourflies, Dec. 21, 6 pm THE HOP!, Potluck, Johnny Richter, Liquid Assassin, Black Pegasus, P. Win, Versatile, White Boy Will, Hounds of Hell, Manwithnoname, King Scrub, Havoc tha Clown, Dec. 21 THE BIG DIPPER, Winter Solstice Party feat. Phlegm Fatale, Mirror Mirror and Lost Masters, Dec. 21 NORTHERN QUEST CASINO, Bret Michaels, Dec. 21, 7:30 pm. THE BIG DIPPER, Dru Heller 30th Birthday Party feat. Kevin Woods, Brent Edstrom, Scott Steed, Dec. 26 KNITTING FACTORY, Black Label

Society, Hatebreed, Butcher Babies, Dec. 28 THE LARIAT, Texas Twister, Dec. 31 ZOLA, Karma’s Circle, Dec. 31 THE BIG DIPPER, Tanzer4 Rock Off One Shot feat. Free the Jester, Freak System, Stucco, Tap Wielding Heathens, 3 Park Avenue, Dec. 31 KNITTING FACTORY, Bone Thugs-NHarmony, Dec. 31 THE BARTLETT, New Year’s Eve with Lavoy, Normal Babies and Pine League, Dec. 31

! MORNING BRIEFING FRESH NEWS, EVERY MORNING. O N LY O N I N L A N D E R . CO M

Christmas Music All Day Long! Only on KEY AM 1050

Listen to your favorites until Christmas!

MUSIC | VENUES 315 MARTINIS & TAPAS • 315 E. Wallace, CdA • 208-667-9660 ARBOR CREST WINE CELLARS • 4705 N. Fruit Hill Rd. • 927-9463 BABY BAR • 827 W. First Ave. • 847-1234 THE BARTLETT • 228 W. Sprague Ave. • 747-2174 BEVERLY’S • 115 S. 2nd St., CdA • 208-765-4000 THE BIG DIPPER • 171 S. Washington St. • 863-8098 BIGFOOT PUB • 9115 N. Division St. • 467-9638 BING CROSBY THEATER • 901 W. Sprague Ave. • 227-7638 BLACK DIAMOND • 9614 E. Sprague • 891-8357 THE BLIND BUCK • 204 N. Division • 290-6229 BOLO’S• 116 S. Best Rd. • 891-8995 BOOMERS • 18219 E. Appleway Ave. • 755-7486 BOOTS BAKERY & LOUNGE • 24 W. Main Ave. • 703-7223 BOWL’Z BITEZ & SPIRITZ• 401 W. Riverside Suite 101. • 321-7480 BUCER’S COFFEEHOUSE PUB • 201 S. Main, Moscow • 208-882-5216 BUCKHORN INN • 13311 Sunset Hwy.• 244-3991 THE CELLAR • 317 E. Sherman, CdA • 208-6649463 CHAPS • 4237 Cheney-Spokane Rd. • 624-4182 CHECKERBOARD BAR • 1716 E. Sprague • 535-4007 COEUR D’ALENE CASINO • 37914 S. Nukwalqw Rd., Worley • 800-523-2464 CURLEY’S • 26433 W. Hwy. 53 • 208-773-5816 DALEY’S CHEAP SHOTS • 6412 E. Trent • 535-9309 EICHARDT’S • 212 Cedar St., Sandpoint • 208263-4005 FEDORA PUB • 1726 W. Kathleen, CdA • 208765-8888 FIZZIE MULLIGANS • 331 W. Hastings Rd. • 466-5354 THE FLAME • 2401 E. Sprague Ave. • 534-9121 FOX THEATER • 1001 W. Sprague • 624-1200 GRANDE RONDE CELLARS • 906 W. 2nd • 455-8161 THE HOP! • 706 N. Monroe St. • 368-4077 IRON HORSE • 407 E. Sherman Ave., CdA • 208-667-7314 IRV’S BAR • 415 W. Sprague Ave. • 624-4450 JOHN’S ALLEY • 114 E. 6th, Moscow • 208-8837662 JONES RADIATOR • 120 E. Sprague • 747-6005 KNITTING FACTORY • 911 W. Sprague Ave. • 244-3279 LAGUNA CAFÉ • 4302 S. Regal St. • 448-0887 THE LANTERN TAP HOUSE • 1004 S. Perry St. • 315-9531 LA ROSA CLUB • 105 S. First Ave., Sandpoint • 208-255-2100 LATAH BISTRO • 4241 Cheney-Spokane Rd. • 838-8338 LEFTBANK WINE BAR • 108 N. Washington • 315-8623 LION’S LAIR • 205 W. Riverside Ave. • 456-5678 LUCKY’S IRISH PUB • 408 W. Sprague Ave. • 747-2605 LUXE COFFEEHOUSE • 1017 W. First Ave. • 624-5514 MAX AT MIRABEAU • 1100 N. Sullivan Rd. • 924-9000 MEZZO PAZZO WINE BAR • 2718 E. 57th • 863-9313 MOOTSY’S • 406 W. Sprague • 838-1570 MOSCOW FOOD CO-OP • 121 E. Fifth St. • 208882-8537 NECTAR• 120 N. Stevens St. • 869-1572 NORTHERN QUEST • 100 N. Hayford • 242-7000 NYNE • 232 W. Sprague Ave. • 474-1621 THE SHOP • 924 S. Perry St. • 534-1647 O’SHAY’S • 313 E. CdA Lake Dr. • 208-667-4666 THE PALOMINO CLUB • 6425 N. Lidgerwood St • 443-5213 PEND D’OREILLE WINERY • 301 Cedar St., Sandpoint • 208-265-8545 THE PHAT HOUSE • 417 S. Browne • 443-4103 PJ’S BAR & GRILL • 1717 N. Monroe St. • 328-2153 RED LION RIVER INN • 700 N. Division St. • 326-5577 RED ROOM LOUNGE • 521 W. Sprague Ave. • 838-7613 REPUBLIC BREWING • 26 Clark Ave. • 775-2700 THE ROADHOUSE • 20 N. Raymond • 413-1894 THE ROCK BAR • 13921 E. Trent Ave. • 43-3796 ROCKER ROOM • 216 E. Coeur d’Alene Ave. • 208-676-2582 ROCKET MARKET • 726 E. 43rd Ave. • 343-2253 SEASONS OF COEUR D’ALENE • 209 E. Lakeside Ave. • 208-664-8008 THE SHOP • 924 S. Perry St. • 534-1647 SOULFUL SOUPS & SPIRITS • 117 N. Howard St. • 459-1190 SPOKANE ARENA • 720 W. Mallon • 279-7000 SPLASH • 115 S. 2nd St., CdA • 208-765-4000 THE SWAMP • 1904 W. Fifth Ave. • 458-2337 UNDERGROUND 15 • 15 S. Howard St. • 290-2122 THE VIKING • 1221 N. Stevens St. • 315-4547 WEBSTER’S RANCH HOUSE SALOON • 1914 N. Monroe St. • 474-9040 ZOLA • 22 W. Main Ave. • 624-2416

DECEMBER 11, 2014 INLANDER 57

PERFORMANCE ECLECTIC GROOVES

A weekend isn’t a weekend if it doesn’t include some sort of dancing. Saturday, the local Picaresque belly dance troupe produces an artistic interpretation of the Major Arcana of the Tarot (main characters depicted on tarot cards such as the Fool or Wheel of Fortune). “Arcana: An Evening of Dance and Spectacle” includes bohemian-inspired performances and high-flying acrobatics by local acts MALIDOMA! World Dance, Natale Szabo, Vexx, Nickie Shek and Vertical Elements Entertainment. — LAURA JOHNSON Arcana: An Evening of Dance and Spectacle • Sat, Dec. 13, at 6 pm • $10 • The Bartlett • 228 W. Sprague • thebartlettspokane.com • 747-2174

COMMUNITY COMPUTER CULTURE

This worldwide event — dubbed the largest learning event in the world’s history — seeks to educate all ages from all backgrounds about computer coding. Spokane’s Hour of Code event, organized by local creative arts hubs Laboratory and Ink Spokane, is one of a staggering 70,641 events around the world during the weeklong movement, Dec. 8-14. Three workshops are offered, for beginning, intermediate and advanced coders. — CHEY SCOTT Hour of Code • Sat, Dec. 13, from 2-3 pm • Free; pre-register to use a library computer or bring your own • Downtown Spokane Library • 906 W. Main • inkspokane.org

58 INLANDER DECEMBER 11, 2014

WORDS A CHILDHOOD CLASSIC

Chances are, most of us have enjoyed best-selling children’s author and illustrator Jan Brett’s work. Remember The Mitten? She also wrote the classic wintertime story The Wild Christmas Reindeer, along with several other beautifully illustrated books. Auntie’s is bringing Brett to Spokane as part of the author’s world tour to promote her newest book, The Animals’ Santa. In its pages, Little Snow the rabbit tries to uncover the identity of a mysterious woodland creature who drops presents on Christmas Eve. — CHEY SCOTT Jan Brett • Sun, Dec. 14, at 5 pm • free/kids; $5 suggested donation/adults • Bing Crosby Theater • 901 W. Sprague • auntiesbooks.com • 838-0206

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Email getlisted@inlander.com to get your event listed in the paper and online. We need the details one week prior to our publication date.

Season of Need Don’t forget those organizations helping local families make ends meet

PERFORMANCE XMAS CDA-STYLE

The Traditions of Christmas: A Musical Journey show hits its third year still pursuing the ambitious goal of packing the production with as many Christmas songs and traditions from around the world as is theatrically possible. The ornate set of Santa’s workshop is home to everything from dancing elves, toy soldiers and gingerbread men, to Rockette-style high-kicking showgirls, a living nativity scene, a USO-inspired homage to the military and a carol sing-along. The show requires a cast of dozens and more than 400 costumes, and an audience full of the proper holiday spirit. — DAN NAILEN Traditions of Christmas • Dec. 11-22; showtimes vary • $33/adults, $26/ seniors, $12/kids • Kroc Center • 1765 W. Golf Course Rd., CdA • traditionsofchristmasnw.com • 208-391-2867

Help the Clark family get a home for the holidays.

Habitat for Humanity

CULTURE KENYAN HOLIDAYS

Nicholas Sironka first came to Spokane in 2000 to bring the culture and art of his native Kenya to Whitworth University as an instructor. Sironka eventually came back to Spokane and continues to bring the engaging visual arts and dance of his Masai people to schools and other organizations throughout the region. With a group of fellow Masai, Sironka brings a taste of Kenyan culture to the Bing with song and dance celebrating the Christmas season. — MIKE BOOKEY Friends of Sironka: A Christmas Special • Thu, Dec. 18, at 7:30 pm • $10$15/adults, $7/children under age 12 • Bing Crosby Theater • 901 W. Sprague • bingcrosbytheater.com

WHAT THEY DO: For many low-income, working families in our community, Habitat for Humanity-Spokane is a “hand up” out of the cycle of poverty, says chief development officer Michelle Girardot. “More and more, we see rental rates go up and families can’t even find a way to create equity in what they own,” Girardot says. “They’re constantly moving from home to home, school district to school district.” Eligible families contribute 500 hours of “sweat equity,” working alongside staff and volunteers to build their homes, and repay 0 percent interest loans. HOW YOU CAN HELP: Habitat for Humanity is currently seeking volunteers and donations to make sure another family has a home for the holidays. Join the organization for a home dedication for the Clark family on Dec. 17 at 10:30 am at 428 E “I” Street, in Deer Park. Donate to Habitat for Humanity and sign up for volunteer opportunities at habitat-spokane.org.

Find out how to give to these local nonproﬁts at: inlander.com/give American Cancer Society American Red Cross-Spokane Because There Is Hope “Faye’s House” Beyond Pink Big Brothers & Big Sisters Of The INW Big Table Birthright Of CdA The Book Parlor Boys & Girls Club Of Spokane County Cancer Care NW Foundation Catholic Charities Spokane Center For Justice Children’s Home Society Of WA Christ Clinic/Christ Kitchen Community Cancer Fund Community Colleges Of Spokane Foundation Community Health Association Of Spokane (CHAS) The Cutter Theatre Daybreak Double J Dog Ranch DS Connections NW Elevations EWU Get Lit! Friends Of Manito Friends Of The Centennial Trail Goodwill Industries Graceson Housing Foundation Greater Spokane County Meals On Wheels Greater Spokane Substance Abuse Council (GSSAC) Habitat For Humanity Hospice Of Spokane Inland NW Blood Center Inland NW Land Trust The Krista Foundation For Global Citizenship The Lands Council Lutheran Community Services NW Mid-City Senior Center Mobius Children’s Museum Mobius Science Center Morning Star Foundation National MS Society New Hope Resource Center North ID College Foundation NW Autism Center Outspokane Planned Parenthood Of Greater WA & Northern ID Providence Health Care Foundation The Salvation Army The Salvation Army KROC Center Second Harvest Food Bank Spokane Arts Fund Spokane Civic Theatre Spokane County Library District Spokane Entertainer’s Guild Spokane Housing Ventures The Spokane Humane Society Spokane Neighborhood Action Partners (SNAP) Spokane Symphony Society Spokane Valley Heritage Museum Spokane Youth Symphony St. Joseph Family Center St. Lukes Rehabilitation Institute Statement Susan G. Komen Eastern WA Teen Closet Transitions U-District Foundation Union Gospel Mission Volunteers Of America WA Basset Rescue Wishing Star Foundation Women Helping Women Fund Women & Children’s Free Restaurant World Relief YFA Connections YMCA

DECEMBER 11, 2014 INLANDER 59

EVENTS | CALENDAR

BENEFIT

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CHRISTMAS TREE ELEGANCE Spokane Symphony Associates’ annual holiday tree showcase fundraiser takes place at the Davenport Hotel and River Park Square, featuring 18 themed, customdecorated trees up for raffle ($1/ticket). Trees on display Dec. 2-14. Davenport Hotel, 10 S. Post. spokanesymphonyassoc.org (458-8733) SEASON OF SHARING BREAKFAST The Greater Spokane Valley Chamber of Commerce breakfast is a benefit for member charities, a toy drive and includes the monthly “coffee and conversations” event. Dec. 12, 7-9 am. $25-$40. Mirabeau Park Hotel, 1100 N. Sullivan Rd. spokanevalleychamber.org (924-4994) FERRIS SWING DANCE & AUCTION Dance to music by the award-winning Ferris Jazz Orchestra. Also includes live and silent auctions, free swing lessons and food. Proceeds benefit Ferris Bands. Dec. 13, 6:30-10 pm. $10/adults; $5/students. Ferris High School, 3020 E. 37th Ave. spokaneschools.org/ferris (979-3592) SPOKANE VIBES CHARITY NIGHT A live music and comedy night benefit, supporting Second Harvest. Includes a raffle and prizes. Dec. 18, 8-11 pm. $5 or food bank donation. The Wave, 525 W. First Ave. spokanevibe.com (747-2023)

COMEDY

STAND-UP COMEDY OPEN MIC Local comedians; see weekly schedule online. Thursdays at 8 pm. Free. Uncle D’s

Comedy Underground, 2721 N. Market St. bluznews.com (483-7300) SEASONS GREETINGS Live comedy improv show using holiday cards and messages for inspiration. Fridays at 8 pm through December. $7. Blue Door Theatre, 815 W. Garland Ave. bluedoortheatre.com (747-7045) GUTS (GONZAGA THEATRE SPORTS) A long-form comedy show by Gonzaga students. Dec. 13, 9 pm. $1. Gonzaga University, 502 E. Boone (328-4220) HOMEGROWN COMEDY Friends of the Bing present a local comedy open mic series, at the Ovations Lounge. The best comedians from the series are to be featured in a March 6 “March Madness Comedy Showcase.” Dec. 13, Jan. 17 and 24 and Feb. 21, at 10:30 pm. Free. Bing Crosby Theater, 901 W. Sprague Ave. bingcrosbytheater.com (227-7404) SAFARI Fast-paced short-form improv games based on audience suggestions. (Not rated.) Saturdays at 9 pm. $7. Blue Door Theatre, 815 W. Garland Ave. bluedoortheatre.com (747-7045) LIVE COMEDY Live stand-up comedy shows. Sundays at 9 pm. Goodtymes, 9214 E. Mission Ave. (928-1070) ADULT IMPROV CLASSES Learn how to be funny on the fly in an adult improv class. Sessions on Tuesdays from 7-9 pm, through Dec. 16. $25/class or $150/ eight-week session. Blue Door Theatre, 815 W. Garland. bluedoortheatre.com OPEN MIC COMEDY Wednesdays at 8 pm. Ages 21+. Free. Brooklyn Deli & Lounge, 122 S. Monroe St. (835-4177) AFTER DARK A adult-rated version of the Blue Door’s monthly, Friday night

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OPEN ENROLLMENT POTTERY CLASSES All Skill Levels & Ages Morning/Evening Classes Fun & Friendly Atmosphere Learn at Your Own Pace Supplies Included

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714 E. Sprague Spokane | 509-747-6171

60 INLANDER DECEMBER 11, 2014

RMHC_120414_8H_KE_NEW.jpg

show. On the last Friday of the month at 10 pm. $7. Blue Door Theatre, 815 W. Garland Ave. (747-7045)

COMMUNITY

JOURNEY TO THE NORTH POLE The 40-min. holiday cruise departs nightly from the Resort Plaza Shops, offering views of the holiday light display over the water. Daily through Jan. 4, at 5:30, 6:30 and 7:30 pm. $19.75/adults; $18.75/students, seniors; $5/ages 6-12. Coeur d’Alene Resort, 115 S. 2nd Ave. cdacruises.com (855-956-1977) MEET SANTA & HIS REINDEER Santa visits every Saturday, through Dec. 20, from 10 am-4 pm; but his reindeer are on site daily (free to visit). Photos with Santa; $10. Ritter’s Garden & Gift, 10120 N. Division. 4ritter.com/events (467-5258) SANTA EXPRESS The 21st annual holiday store offers items at allowancefriendly prices for area children (ages 4-12) to purchase for their friends and family, with proceeds supporting the mission of the Vanessa Behan Crisis Nursery. Open through Dec. 23; MonFri, from 11 am-8 pm, Sat, from 10 am-8 pm and Sun, from 11 am-6 pm. On the Skywalk level. Crescent Court, 707 W. Main Ave. vanessabehan.org SECOND HARVEST FOOD SORTING Join other volunteers to sort and pack produce and other bulk food items for delivery to local emergency food outlets. Ages 14+. Shift dates and times vary, sign up at inland.volunteerhub. com/events. Second Harvest Food Bank, 1234 E. Front Ave. 2-harvest.org (252-6267)

WINTER GLOW SPECTACULAR A new holiday event at Riverfront Park featuring light displays through the park, including an animal lights zoo. Display is lit daily at 5 pm, through Jan. 1. Free. Riverfront Park, 705 N. Howard St. spokanewinterglow.com (625-6601) A T. REX NAMED SUE Mobius hosts the Chicago Field Museum’s exhibit centered on the most complete Tyrannosaurus rex fossil ever discovered. Exhibit runs through Jan. 4, 2015. Museum open Tues-Sun; hours vary. $7-$10. Mobius Science Center, 811 W. Main. mobiusspokane.org (321-7133) TREE OF SHARING The annual program collects and distributes requested items to regional nonprofits and social service agencies serving low-income, disabled and elderly members of the community. Pick up a tag and drop off items by Fri, Dec. 14. Tags available at NorthTown, Spokane Valley Mall and River Park Square. treeofsharing.org GAISER CONSERVATORY HOLIDAY LIGHTS The annual holiday event at the conservatory features its lush greenery decked out in thousands of lights. Runs Dec. 12-21, until 7:30 pm daily. Best viewing after 4 pm. Donations accepted. Manito Park, 1800 S. Grand Blvd. thefriendsofmanito.org (456-8038) SANTA’S COMING TO TOWN Santa and his firefighter helpers are visiting several fire stations and neighborhoods in Spokane County Fire District 9 (North Spokane, Mead, Nine Mile Falls, Linwood, Northwoods, Foothills). See website for dates, times and locations. Dec. 12-16 and Dec. 18-22; times and locations vary. Free. scfd9.org (4664602)

WINTER WONDERLAND The Riverside State Park Foundation hosts its third annual holiday walk through the park, decked out in lights. Also includes hay rides, hot chocolate and cider and treats beside a fire pit. Dec. 12-14, from 6-8:30 pm. Discover Pass not required. $5 (ages 3 and under free). Riverside State Park, Bowl & Pitcher. riversidestatepark.org (465-5064) COMMUNITY MEMORIAL TREE Hospice of Spokane hosts a holiday tree, encouraging the public to decorate a white paper dove in memory of a loved one to hang on the tree. No cost to participate. On the third floor. Dec. 13-21. Free. River Park Square, 808 W. Main. hospiceofspokane.org. (456-0438) DOWNLOADING EBOOKS An overview of the Library’s eBook services. Pre-registration required. Dec. 13, 11 am. Free. Indian Trail Library, 4909 W. Barnes Rd. (444-5331) FRIENDS OF MANITO OPEN HOUSE The nonprofit hosts its annual holiday open house in the Manito Meeting room, east of the Conservatory. Dec. 13-14, from 4:30-7:30 pm. Free. Manito Park, 1800 S. Grand Blvd. (456-8038) HAPPY HOWL-I-DAYS OPEN HOUSE The community is invited to enjoy cookies, hot cocoa, and tours of the new shelter facility. SCRAPS is also collecting textile and clothing items for a “Clothes for the Cause” fundraiser recycling drive. Dec. 13, 1-3 pm. SCRAPS, 2521 N. Flora Rd. (477-2984) HOUR OF CODE Along with millions of other people around the world, learn how to code during this international event. Offering three workshops for

various skill levels. Pre-register to use a library computer, or bring your own WiFi enabled laptop. Dec. 13, 2 pm. Free. Downtown Library, 906 W. Main Ave. (444-5336) KIDS HOLIDAY PARADE Children and their families are invited to march downtown along Main Ave, starting at the Downtown Library, in their best holiday-themed attire followed by a Christmas sing-along and costume awards. Dec. 13. Free. Downtown Library, 906 W. Main. (444-5336) SING-ALONG WITH MUDGY, MILLIE & SANTA Children’s author Susan Nipp leads singing of some holiday favorites. Mudgy Moose, Millie Mouse and Santa Claus are also in attendance and available for informal photos. Dec. 13, 11 am. Free. Coeur d’Alene Public Library, 702 E. Front. cdalibrary.org (208-769-2380) TEDDY BEAR TEA The library hosts its annual holiday tradition. Bring your favorite stuffed friend for this special storytime with treats. Free. Dec. 13, at 11 am; Indian Trail branch. Also Dec. 13, at 4 pm; Shadle branch. spokanelibrary.org CHILDREN’S AUTHOR JAN BRETT Auntie’s Bookstore hosts an evening with the NYT-bestselling children’s author and illustrator, who’ll be presenting her newest book “The Animal’s Santa.” Brett signs copies of her books and families can meet beloved character Hedgie the hedgehog. Dec. 14, 5 pm. Bing Crosby Theater, 901 W. Sprague. bingcrosbytheater.com (838-0206) TWEEN CLUB Monthly activities for grades 4-6. Dec. 16. Free. North Spokane Library, 44 E. Hawthorne Rd. scld. org (893-8350)

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DECEMBER 11, 2014 INLANDER 61

RELATIONSHIPS

Advice Goddess AMERICAN IDLE

My girlfriend is beautiful, highly intelligent, and interesting. She’s smart for a living (as a strategic planner in advertising), so I find it sad that she watches so much television — maybe two hours of it upon coming home from work. She could be spending her time doing so many other things. —Dismayed There comes a point in the day of a brainy person when she’s about a half step from being entertained by cat toys. AMY ALKON But this is nothing to be boohooing about. Engineering professor Barbara Oakley explains in her neuroscience-based book on learning, “A Mind for Numbers,” that our brain has two modes of problem-solving that it shifts between. There’s the “Heigh-ho, heigh-ho, it’s off to work we go!” (SET ITAL) focused mode (END ITAL) and the resting-state, brain-in-the-La-Z-Boy (SET ITAL) diffuse mode. (END ITAL) Focused-mode thinking is what we’re using when we put our attention on a problem or on learning, writing, or memorizing. It’s direct and intense, like shining a flashlight on a raccoon. But your brain is not a Denny’s and should not be expected to be “always open!” In fact, Oakley explains, you will be far more efficient if you take breaks and let your diffuse mode take over. This is the subconscious processing that goes on when you turn your focus away from a problem, like by taking a walk, cleaning the gerbil cage, or — horrors! — watching something dopey on TV. And while the focused mode can get you roadblocked into an overly narrow set of potential solutions, diffuse mode involves big-picture thinking that draws on a wide range of neural networks. This means that afterward, when you refocus on the problem, answers come more easily, and sometimes — almost magically — you experience the mental equivalent of going to sleep, having mop-wielding elves crawl out of your heat vent, and then waking up to a blindingly clean kitchen floor. Consider the sort of “slackers” who watch TV — like the late crime writer Elmore Leonard, who was awarded the National Book Foundation’s 2012 Medal for Distinguished Contribution to American Letters. After a long day working on one of his 45 novels, he’d be on his couch watching “Jeopardy” and “Wheel of Fortune.” As my boyfriend (his researcher of 33 years) put it, “you could say, ‘Elmore, the Martians just landed on your tennis court,’ and he’d say, ‘Wait! It’s Final Jeopardy!’” Sure, your girlfriend could be “doing so many other things,” like staring blankly into a bookcase or tossing back four martinis and passing out on the sofa with an olive in her ear. But TV-watching is the brain vacation that works for her. It’s only “sad” if her boyfriend, despite the neuroscience mini-tour above, remains too entrenched in his beliefs to respect a TV-watching woman. Unfortunately, once disgust for a partner is afoot in a relationship, the thing is probably shot. Though, rather incredibly, “the idiot box” can help a person be a smarter decision-maker at work, scientists have yet to discover any similarly unbelievable lowbrow cures for ailing romantic partnerships, like a month of eating Big Macs for a relationship-saving McDonald’s cleanse.

JurAssic sPArk

I’m a 45-year-old woman, and my new boyfriend is 30. I look good for my age, but I keep making “old” jokes, which he finds disturbing. Although he seems really into me, I guess I’m worried that a much younger man won’t be around for long. —Mrs. Robinson When you’ve got a bit of funny clawing to get out of its pen, it’s tempting to undo the latch: “Waiter, a glass of chardonnay for me and a box of crayons for my date.” But consider that some jokes are jokes and some are fear with a laugh track. Your fears that this won’t last aren’t exactly unfounded. Men evolved to be attracted to signs of peak fertility — youth being a biggie — but some use older women as sexual grazing areas while between relationships. There are exceptions — May/ December pairings that make it to twin rocking chairs on the porch of the senior living facility. However, the reality is nothing’s forever — including relationships between two hot 22-year-olds. The trick to fully enjoying this (or any) relationship is accepting that it will end and resolving to have the absolute best time you can while it lasts. To take possession of older-woman sexy, consider that some men are into the sexual confidence women tend to gain with age, as well as what the French call being “bien dans sa peau” (comfortable in one’s skin). Whatever you do, avoid regularly exhuming the late Groucho Marx to inform the guy of all the ways 45 is actually the new 75. If you’re doing that, you might as well cut to the chase: Yank up your support hose and run after him with your cane, yelling, “Hey, kid, get off my lawn!” n ©2014, Amy Alkon, all rights reserved. • Got a problem? Write Amy Alkon, 171 Pier Ave, #280, Santa Monica, CA 90405 or email AdviceAmy@aol.com (www.advicegoddess.com)

62 INLANDER DECEMBER 11, 2014

EVENTS | CALENDAR HOLIDAY FAMILY UNITY ACTIVITY Families can explore and interact through hands-on, holiday activities. Please bring a side dish or finger food to share. Dec. 19, 6-8 pm. Free. Palouse Discovery Science Center, 950 NE Nelson Ct. familiestogether.org (772-538-4404) CAMPBELL HOUSE HOLIDAYS The historic house comes alive for the holiday season with living history demonstrations, festive decorations and music box tunes. Dec. 20-Jan. 4; Wed-Sun, from 12-4 pm. Regular museum admission applies. The MAC, 2316 W. First. northwestmuseum.org

FILM

BING CROSBY HOLIDAY FILM FESTIVAL The 9th annual festival screens the best-loved classic films starring Spokane’s favorite son, Bing Crosby, along with a display of memorabilia and a performance by Bing’s nephew, Howard Crosby. See film schedule online. Dec. 13, 11:30 am-7:30 pm. $8. Bing Crosby Theater, 901 W. Sprague. bingcrosbytheateradvocates.org (227-7404) SING ALONG MOVIE: SOUND OF MUSIC Come sing along with the Julie Andrews in this classic film. Dec. 13, 2 pm. Free. Downtown Library, 906 W. Main Ave. (444-5300) DOWNTON ABBEY PREVIEW PARTY The second annual red carpet preview event features a sneak peak of the first hour of season 5 of the British drama, an afternoon tea, prizes, and talks with a historical fashion expert from WSU and Downton’s food set stylist via video chat. Last year’s event sold out; limited tickets available. Dec. 14, 2-5 pm. $10$15. Lincoln Center, 1316 N. Lincoln St. ksps.org IRVING BERLIN’S WHITE CHRISTMAS: Celebrating the 60th anniversary of the timeless holiday musical, with special screenings on the big screen. Dec. 14 at 2 pm and 7 pm; Dec. 15 at 7 pm. At Regal Cinemas Northtown and Riverstone. fathomevents.com TOTALLY TUBULAR TUESDAYS The Garland’s classic old-school movie series returns, every Tuesday at 7 pm. See website for schedule of upcoming featured films. $2.50. Garland Theater, 924 W. Garland. garlandtheater.com ELF AT THE BING The Inlander teams up with Catholic Charities to host a benefit screening of the new holiday classic. Proceeds benefit the Fatherhood Project of Catholic Charities Spokane. Doors open at 5:30 pm. Dec. 17, 7 pm. $5 suggested donation. Bing Crosby Theater, 901 W. Sprague. bingcrosbytheater.com (227-7404) IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE Screening of Frank Capra’s holiday classic. Dec. 18-21, at 7 pm each evening. $4-$6. The Kenworthy, 508 S. Main. kenworthy.org

FOOD & DRINK

GLOBAL BUBBLY A class highlighting Champagne from France, Prosecco from Italy, Methode Champenios from Washington State, California and New Zealand. Features eight wines, with cheese and bread. Dec. 12, 7 pm. $20, registration requested. Rocket Market, 726 E. 43rd. rocketmarket.com (343-2253) NO-LI BREWHOUSE TOURS See what goes on behind the scenes and how NoLi’s beer is made. Fridays at 4:30 pm. Free. No-Li Brewhouse, 1003 E. Trent Ave. nolibrewhouse.com (242-2739)

ODELL BREWING TAP TAKEOVER Odell is on site for a hosted tasting, with giveaways and more. Dec. 12, 5-10 pm. Free admission. Enoteca, 112 E. Seltice Way, Post Falls. (208-457-9885) VINO WINE TASTING Fri, Dec. 12 is themed “Explore Italian wines,” from 3-6:30 pm; $10. Sat, Dec. 13 highlights champagne and sparkling wine, from 2-4:30 pm; $10. Tastings include cheese and crackers. Vino!, 222 S. Washington St. vinowine.com (838-1229) SANTACON 2014 A Santa Clausthemed pub crawl through downtown Spokane, taking place in conjunction with hundreds of similar events worldwide. Ages 21+. Dec. 13, 4 pm. Donations accepted. O’Doherty’s Irish Grille, 525 W. Spokane Falls Blvd. facebook. com/santaconspokane GINGERBREAD BUILD-OFF The annual gingerbread house build-off features teams of local bakers, architects and pastry chefs competing to build the most elaborate gingerbread house, as voted by the public. This year’s theme is “Christmas Carols.” $7 to build your own house. Dec. 14, 10 am-1 pm. Free to attend. Davenport Hotel, 10 S. Post St. ccckministry.org (800-899-1482) COMMELLINI ESTATE TAKE-HOME ENTREE PREORDER The estate kitchen is offering some of its best-loved products as take-home entrees for the first time. Pre-order online now, and pick up Dec. 18-19, from 12-5:30 pm. $7-$26. Commellini Estate, 14715 N. Dartford Dr. commellini.com (466-0667) SMALL VINEYARDS WINE NIGHT Sample a selection of (8) direct import wines from Italy at an event co-hosted by wine importer Tristan Ohms, on Fri, Dec. 19. On Saturday (Dec. 20), the market hosts an encore class, this time featuring wines from Spain and France. Both events start at 7 pm. $20, registration requested. Rocket Market, 726 E. 43rd Ave. (343-2253) VINO WINE TASTING Fri, Dec. 19 features Robert Ramsay Cellars, from 3-6:30 pm; $15. Sat, Dec. 20 highlights wines from Saviah Cellars of Walla Walla, from 2-4:30 pm; $15. Wines also available by the glass; tastings include cheese and crackers. Vino! A Wine Shop, 222 S. Washington. (838-1229)

MUSIC

BLUE SUEDE CHRISTMAS Scott Bruce’s holiday tribute to Elvis Presley, featuring classic holiday favorites such as ‘Santa Bring My Baby Back, ‘Blue Christmas’ and more. Dec. 11, 7 pm. $15$25. Coeur d’Alene Casino, 37914 S Hwy 95. cdacasino.com (1-800-523-2464) CHRISTMAS TONIGHT Traditional songs of the season performed by the Northwoods Chorale. Dinner theater offered. Dec. 11-13; dinner at 6:30 pm, show at 7:30 pm. $12-$25. Circle Moon Theater, Hwy 211 off Hwy 2, Newport, Wash. (208-448-1294) SINGING NUNS CHRISTMAS CONCERT The traditional Catholic Sisters from Spokane’s St. Michael’s Convent perform their annual holiday concert. Dec. 10 and 11 at 2 pm and 7:30 pm both days. $16-$20. Bing Crosby Theater, 901 W. Sprague. bingcrosbytheater.com (227-7404) CRESCENDO COMMUNITY CHORUS “The Season of Joy” holiday concert features local performers singing classic holiday carols and songs. Dec. 12, 7 pm. $5/door. St. Stephen’s Episcopal Church, 5720 S. Perry. crescendocom-

munitychorus.org (714-0555) THE FIRST CHRISTMAS A Christmas program featuring a 40-person choir and children’s choir, performing new and traditional pieces. Dec. 12 at 7 pm, Dec. 13 at 6 pm. Free admission. First Church of Nazarene, 9004 N. Country Homes Blvd. (467-8986) MICHAEL LONDRA: CELTIC YULETIDE “Christmas from Ireland” is a concert featuring traditional Irish song, dance and classic stories by the former lead voice of Riverdance on Broadway. Dec. 12, 7:30 pm. $45. Bing Crosby Theater, 901 W. Sprague. bingcrosbytheater.com MET LIVE: WAGNER’S DIE MEISTERSINGER VON NÜRNBERG James Levine returns to one of his signature Wagner works conducting this epic comedy, back at the Met for the first time in eight years. Live simulcast runs 6 hrs. Dec. 13, 9 am. $15-$20. The Kenworthy, 508 S. Main. kenworthy.org/Met (208-882-4127) WASHINGTON IDAHO SYMPHONY: HANDEL’S MESSIAH The symphony’s annual holiday concert. Dec. 13, 7:30 pm. $10-$25. Jones Theatre at Daggy Hall, WSU Pullman. washingtonidahosymphony.org (335-8522) WHITWORTH UNIVERSITY CHRISTMAS FESTIVAL Candlelight concerts presented by 120+ student performers, including members of the Whitworth Choir, Women’s Choir, Men’s Chorus, and Chamber Singers, with studentinstrumentalists and narrators. Dec. 13 at 8 pm and Dec. 14 at 3 pm. $15-$18. Martin Woldson Theater at The Fox, 1001 W. Sprague. foxtheaterspokane. com (624-1200) A WINTER’S EVE The gallery/bistro hosts its annual Christmas dinner and concert, with classical guitarist James Reid. Dec. 13, 6-8 pm. Bank Left Gallery, 100 S. Bridge, Palouse, Wash. bankleftgallery.com (878-1800) CARRIER OF INTENTION “Carrier of Intention in 49” Jewish Prayers is an anthology of 40 authors, musicians, cantors and rabbis sharing their stories about meaningful Jewish music. Six of the 40 authors are from Spokane’s Temple Beth Shalom. Dec. 14, 1 pm. Free. Auntie’s, 402 W. Main. (838-0206) SAYCHOIRS: LIGHT FOR THE JOURNEY All four choirs and special musical guests present a wide range of holiday music. Dec. 14, 3 pm. $5-$8. Westminster Congregational United Church of Christ, 411 S. Washington. SAYChoirs. org (624-7992) SPOKANE BRITISH BRASS BAND A holiday concert titled “The Ghost of British Brass Past,” referencing the band’s 20th season, featuring favorite holiday pieces from the past. Dec. 14, 3-4:30 pm. $10/adults; free/kids, students. SFCC, 3410 W. Fort George Wright Dr. (999-8717) NORTHWEST SACRED MUSIC CHORALE A holiday concert featuring carols and spirituals, and ending with “Twelve Days of Christmas.” The group’s singers are accompanied by local instrumental talent. Dec. 17 at 5 pm and 8 pm. Dec. 17, 5-7 pm. $10-$15. Kroc Center, 1765 W. Golf Course Rd. nwsmc.org (208446-2333) FRIENDS OF SIRONKA CHRISTMAS SPECIAL Maasai shepherds from Africa partake in a celebratory performance of the Christmas holiday. Dec. 18, 7:30 pm. $7/kids 12 and under; $10-$15/adults. Bing Crosby Theater, 901 W. Sprague Ave. bingcrosbytheater.com

MICHAEL W. SMITH: CHRISTMAS SPECTACULAR The vocalist performs new selections from his new Christmas album along with classic favorites. Dec. 18, 7 pm. $45-$75. INB Performing Arts Center, 334 W. Spokane Falls Blvd. (279-7000)

PERFORMANCE

ARCANA: AN EVENING OF DANCE & SPECTACLE Performance by Picaresque, a Spokane-based belly dance troupe specializing in tribal fusion dance with a blend of bohemian and modern strains. Arcana features guests MALIDOMA! World Dance, hoop artist Natale Szabo, belly dancers Nickie Shek and Vexx, and the aerial arts troupe Vertical Elements. Dec. 13, 6-7:45 pm. $10. The Bartlett, 228 W. Sprague Ave. tinyurl.com/melklg8 LES PATINEURS Ballet recital; reception and auction to follow. Dec. 13 at 2 and 7 pm, Dec. 14 at 2 pm. $12. Company Ballet School, 3201 N. Argonne Rd. companybal-

letspokane.com (869-5573) THE MET: LIVE IN HD A series of live performance transmissions in select U.S. cinemas. Performances on Dec. 13, 17; times vary. At Regal Cinemas Northtown and Riverstone 14 (CdA). fathomevents.com THE TRUTH ABOUT... Seven advanced dance students with the University of Idaho College of Education dance program present works they have created throughout fall semester. Dec. 13, 7:30 pm. $5/children, students; $8/adults. University of Idaho Education Building, 921 Campus Dr. (208-885-2184) EUGENE BALLET: THE NUTCRACKER The holiday classic is presented by Festival Dance & Performing Arts Association, in residence at the University of Idaho. Dec. 14, 3 pm. $14-$30. Beasley Coliseum, 225 N. Grand Ave, Pullman. festivaldance. org (335-3525) EUGENE BALLET: THE NUTCRACKER The annual Sandpoint tradition is back,

featuring the classic holiday story performed by the Eugene Ballet Company. Dec. 15, 7 pm. $10-$20. Panida Theater, 300 N. First, Sandpoint. (208-255-7801)

SPORTS & OUTDOORS

SNOWSHOEING BASICS Staff share tips on the appropriate selection of gear, and the basics on what you need and where to go to get started. Dec. 11, 7-8:30 pm. Free. REI, 1125 N. Monroe. (328-9900) SPOKANE BRAVES HOCKEY Hockey matches; kids are free with each paid adult. $5/adults; $4/seniors and students with ID. Includes a beer garden, chuck-apuck and music. Games on Dec. 12, 14, 19 and Jan. 2, 9, 11, 16, 24-25 and Feb. 1 and 6. Eagles Ice-A-Rena, 6321 N. Addison St. spokanebraves.com (489-9295) SPOKANE CHIEFS VS. PRINCE GEORGE

COUGARS Hockey match. Dec. 13, 7 pm. $10-$23. Spokane Arena, 720 W. Mallon Ave. spokanearena.com (279-7000) THE YULE RIDE Put on your best holiday sweater, light up your bike, and join the Swamp Riders for a cold roll through Spokane. Dec. 13, 7 pm. Free. Swamp Tavern, 1904 W. Fifth. tinyurl.com/oa7a4rk SEAHAWKS AT THE GARLAND Watch the game vs. the 49ers on the big screen, with food and drink for purchase to enjoy inside the theater. Dec. 14, 1:25 pm. Free. Garland Theater, 924 W. Garland Ave. garlandtheater.com (327-1050) SPOKANE BADMINTON CLUB Meets Sun from 4:30-7 pm and Wed from 7-10 pm. $6/visit. West Central Community Center, 1603 N. Belt. (448-5694) SPOKANE TABLE TENNIS CLUB Pingpong club meets Wed from 6:30-9 pm and Sun from 1:30-4:30 pm. $2/visit. Southside Senior & Community Center, 3151 E. 27th Ave. (535-0803)

SPOKANE TABLE TENNIS Ping-pong club meets Mon and Wed, from 6-9 pm,. $3/ visit. HUB Sports Center, 19619 E. Cataldo. spokanetabletennis.com (768-1780)

THEATER

ALL IS CALM A musical adaptation based on the true events of the Christmas Truce of 1914, at the Western front of WWI. Through Dec. 21, Thur-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. $17-$25. The Modern Theater Coeur d’Alene, 1320 E. Garden Ave. themoderntheater.org (208-667-1323) A CHRISTMAS CAROL: THE MUSICAL Performance of the holiday classic tale of love and redemption, directed by the Civic’s artistic director Keith Dixon. Through Dec. 20; Thur-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm (except. Sat, Dec. 20 at 2 pm). Dec. 17 show ($35) benefits the Holy Names Music Center. $22-$30. Spokane Civic Theatre, 1020 N. Howard St. spokanecivictheatre.com (325-2507)

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EVENTS | CALENDAR A CHRISTMAS CAROL The holiday classic captures the magic and menace of Dicken’s story in spectacular form. Through Dec. 20; Thur-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. $15/public; $10/seniors, UI faculty; $5/children; free/UI students. University of Idaho Hartung Theater, 6th & Stadium Way. uitheatre.com (208885-6465) I REMEMBER CHRISTMAS: A CHRISTMAS REVUE A holiday production featuring Ellen Travolta, Margaret Travolta, Jack Bannon, Patrick Treadway and Katherine Strohmaier. Directed by Troy Nickerson. Through Dec. 21, ThurSat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 5 pm. $25. The Coeur d’Alene Resort, 115 S. 2nd Ave. cdachristmas.com OUR TOWN Thornton Wilder’s classic play follows the Webb and Gibbs families as their children fall in love, marry, and eventually die in the small town of Grover’s Corners. Through Dec. 4-13; Thur-Fri at 7:30 pm, Sat at 2 pm. $5-$10. WSU Pullman campus. performingarts. wsu.edu STOCKING STUFFERS A holidaythemed, comedy performance. Dec. 11-20, Thur-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 3 pm. $8-$12. Liberty Lake Community Theatre, 22910 E. Appleway Ave. (3422055) THE SANTALAND DIARIES Moscow Theatre (Too) performs the holiday comedy, by David Sedaris. Dec. 11-13 at 7:30 pm, also Dec. 12 at 9 pm. $10. The Kenworthy, 508 S. Main. kenworthy.org (208-8824127) TRADITIONS OF CHRISTMAS A musical performance of Christmas songs and traditions from around the world. Features 80+ local dancers/performers. Dec. 11-21, Thur-Sun at 7 pm. $33/ adult; $26/senior and military; $20/ kids. Kroc Center, 1765 W. Golf Course Rd. traditionsofchristmasnw.com (208391-2867) THE BEST CHRISTMAS PAGEANT EVER A holiday comedy classic about a couple struggling to put on a church Christmas pageant. Through Dec. 14, Fri-Sun, times vary. $8-$12. Spokane Children’s Theatre, 2727 N. Madelia. spokanechildrenstheatre.org (328-4886) CHRISTMAS AT SIXTH STREET Wallace’s Sixth Street Theater hosts an evening of holiday music and entertainment in a program written and directed by Sean Shelley. Dec. 12 at 7 pm, Dec. 13-14 at 2 pm. $16-$18. Sixth Street Theater, 212 Sixth, Wallace, Idaho. sixthstreetmelodrama.com (208-752-8871) A CHRISTMAS CAROL Performance of the classic Dicken’s holiday story. Dec. 12-14 and 19-20; Fri-Sat at 7 pm, Sun at 3 pm. $5-$12. Pend Oreille Playhouse, 240 N. Union Ave, Newport, Wash. pendoreilleplayers.org (509-447-9900) A CHRISTMAS PUDDING A performance including stories by Mark Twain, Shakespeare, Emily Dickinson, and more, along with traditional carols and songs. Dec. 12-13 at 7:30 pm, Dec. 14 at 2 pm. Ignite Community Theatre, 10814 E. Broadway Ave. ignitetheatre.org (795-0004) CHURCH BASEMENT LADIES: A SECOND HELPING The Northwest premiere of an all new musical comedy featuring the endearing characters from the original production. Dec. 12-Jan. 4, Fri-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. $19-$25. The Modern Theater Spokane, 174 S. Howard. themoderntheater.org (455-7529) FRUITCAKES Holiday comedy. Through Dec. 14, Fri-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm.

$12. Pullman Civic Theatre, 1220 NW Nye St. pullmancivictheatre.org (332-8406) IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE A reader’s theater production by StageWest Community Theater. Through Dec. 14; FriSat at 7 pm, Sun at 3 pm. Dinner theater show Dec. 13 at 6 pm ($25). $5-$12. Emmanuel Lutheran Church, 639 Elm St. (235-2441) IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE Members of the local children’s theater perform a stage adaptation of the classic holiday film. Dec. 12-21, Thur-Sat at 7 pm, Sat at 3 pm, Sun at 2 pm. $7.25-$9.25. Theater Arts for Children, 2114 N. Pines. (892-5413) DINNER AND A SHOW The Empire Theatre Company presents its “Dinner and a Show” series with a holiday theme. Dec. 17-20, at 5 pm. $50. Lincoln Center, 1316 N. Lincoln St. etcspokane. com (327-8000) IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE: A LIVE RADIO PLAY Performance of the holiday classic, featuring a 1940s-style presentation and (mostly) live sound effects. Dec. 19 at 7:30 pm, Dec. 20 at 2 pm. Free. Central Lutheran Church, 512 S. Bernard St. (624-9233) ALL IS CALM: CHRISTMAS EVE ENCORE Friends of the Bing hosts a special encore performance of the Modern Theater’s production, on the 100th anniversary of the 1914 Christmas Truce during WWI. Dec. 24, 6:30-8 pm. $15-$20. Bing Crosby Theater, 901 W. Sprague. bingcrosbytheater.com (5345805)

VISUAL ARTS

SMALL ARTWORKS INVITATIONAL The 16th annual invitation showcases work by 31 local artists, all pieces are smaller than 12-inches in dimension. Through Jan. 3; gallery hours TuesSat from 11 am-6 pm. Free admission. Art Spirit Gallery, 415 Sherman Ave. theartspiritgallery.com HOLIDAY OPEN HOUSE & ART SHOW December featured art includes the holiday-themed works of Sandra Bergeron (Dec. 16-24), along with the 14th Annual Miniature Show featuring local artists work throughout the gallery. Open house Dec. 11, from 5-8 pm. Gallery open daily through Christmas Eve. free. Pacific Flyway Gallery, 409 S. Dishman Mica Rd. pacificflywaygallery. blogspot.com (747-0812) COEUR D’ALENE ARTWALK Monthly art showcase throughout downtown galleries and businesses. Second Friday of the month (Dec. 11) from 5-8 pm. Free. Downtown Coeur d’Alene. artsincda.org (208-292-1629) STAN MILLER PAINTING EXHIBITION The internationally-recognized artist exhibits his watercolor portrait and landscape paintings in his home. Dec. 12, 5-9 pm; Dec. 13, 11 am-7 pm; Dec. 14, 12-4 pm. Free. Miller Residence, 3138 E. 17th, Spokane. stanmiller.net (7689354) DION WILLIAMS: GRISAILLE & RED A contemporary art show, with wine tasting and music by DJ Mercury. Dec. 13, 5-7 pm. Free admission. Evans Brothers Coffee, 524 Church St., Sandpoint. (208-265-5553) HOLIDAY ARTISTS RECEPTION Meet local artists, shop for gifts and learn the stories behind artists’ work. Dec. 13, 5:30-8 pm. Free. Art Works Gallery, 214 N. First Ave. sandpointartworks.com (208-660-3825) MOLLY KLINGLER The deli gallery dis-

plays the work of young artist (age 10) Molly Klingler. Opening reception Dec. 12, from 5:30–7 pm, show runs through Jan. 7. Moscow Food Co-op, 121 E. 5th St. (208-882-8537) CHRISTMAS TREASURES Art show featuring rustic and fine furniture, wood jewelry boxes, fused and blown glass, dolls and more than 100 pieces of functional and decorative ceramics, all made by local artists. Sample local food products and hear a free performance by 4 Names in a Hat, a local barbershop quartet. Dec. 14, 1-3 pm. Free. Dahmen Barn, 419 N. Park Way., Uniontown, Wash. artisanbarn.org (509-229-3414)

WORDS

AUTHOR KATE LEBO Signing and demo event for Lebo’s new book “Pie School: Lessons in Fruit, Flour and Butter.” Dec. 11, 6:30 pm. Free. BookPeople of Moscow, 521 S. Main St. bookpeopleofmoscow.com (208-882-2669) BLURT & BLATHER An all-ages open mic series, on the second and fourth Thursday of the month. Open to poetry, stories and other spoken word performances. Free. Boots Bakery & Lounge, 24 W. Main. facebook.com/ blurtnblather E-PUBLISHING WORKSHOP Learn from local authors who have successfully navigated the world of e-publishing. Dec. 11 at 7 pm. Free. Spokane Valley Library, 12004 E. Main. scld.org (893-8200) TONY & SUZANNE BAMONTE The local author/historians host a special book signing, with storewide discounts offered. Dec. 11, 6-8 pm. Free admission. 2nd Look Books, 2829 E. 29th Ave. tinyurl.com/o99vomf (535-6464) AUTHOR KATE MCLACHLIN A reading, signing and discussion with the author about her new lesbian holiday romance novel, “Christmas Crush.” Dec. 12, 7 pm. Free. Auntie’s Bookstore, 402 W. Main Ave. (838-0206) SATURDAY SIGNINGS Authors at the store this weekend include Tina Hammond, a local romance writer, and D.J. Atwood, signing his his historical novel “Lady of the Island.” Dec. 13, 11 am-2 pm. Free. Auntie’s, 402 W. Main Ave. auntiesbooks.com (838-0206) SELKIRKS SPECTACULAR A book signing for the collaborative, four-year project of Bonners Ferry photographers Tim Cady and Jerry Pavia, with writer Ross Klatte of Nelson, British Columbia. Dec. 13, 1-3 pm. Free. Vanderford Books, 201 S. Cedar St, Sandpoint. (208-263-2417) SPOKANE NOVELIST GROUP Thegroup meets the second and fourth Saturday of the month from 12-4 pm. Bring seven or eight copies, 10 pages each, of your manuscript to be reviewed and critique. No memoirs, poetry, children books or non-fiction, please. Dec. 13. Otis Orchards Community Church, 23304 E. Wellesley Ave. (590-7316) WORDWRIGHT’S WORKSHOP Spokane Poetry Slam’s monthly, all-ages poetry, performance, writing, and spoken word workshop. Held monthly on the second Saturday, at 4:30 pm. Free. Auntie’s Bookstore, 402 W. Main Ave. spokanepoetryslam.org (838-0206) n

MORE EVENTS Visit Inlander.com for complete listings of local events.

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THIS ANSW WEEK’S I SAW ERS ON YOUS 54-Across 36. NBA bio stat 39. Peter, Paul or Mary 40. University of Hawaii campus locale 41. Actor who wrote the autobiography “In the Arena” 46. Guatemala girlfriend 47. Broadcast slot 48. Smokes 49. Classic VW 52. “My mama done ____ me ...” 53. Its law sch. is in Concord 54. Calcified material that is a common cause of bad breath 56. Hundred Acre Wood resident 57. Musical range 58. When some game shows are on: Abbr. 59. It may follow directions 60. Hemingway of “Manhattan”

61. Area 51 phenomena DOWN 1. Deep-six 2. Mopey sorts 3. One who’s not sure what’s up? 4. Louis XIV, e.g. 5. Read leisurely 6. South American plains 7. “Need You Tonight” band 8. Silents star Naldi 9. Massage target 10. Prodigal ____ 11. Parmesan alternative 12. Old, in France 13. Shifty ones? 18. ____ Mawr College 22. They may be cast-iron 24. ____ Center (Chicago skyscraper)

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25. Rite for a newborn Jewish boy 27. Too ____ handle 28. Punk offshoot 29. Fay’s “King Kong” role 33. “Gone With the Wind” plantation

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39. Wilts 40. 33rd president’s monogram 41. Key of Beethoven’s Fifth 42. Enthusiastic about 43. Indigenous 44. Jewish campus group 45. Part of a Spanish 101 conjugation 46. Find ____ for the common cold 49. City south of West Palm 50. ____’acte 51. Morales of “NYPD Blue” 54. Novelist Clancy 55. Greek cross

DECEMBER 11, 2014 INLANDER 67

Extra Patrols On Now

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1. Pick a category (I Saw You, You Saw Me, Cheers, Jeers). 2. Provide basic info about you: name, address, phone. 3. Email it to ISawYou@inlander.com by 3 pm Monday.

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68 INLANDER DECEMBER 11, 2014

I Saw You

You Saw Me

Cheers

7Eleven Slurpee assistant Super cute with the Camo sweatshirt helped my daughter with filling her banana Slurpee to the top then gave me a hard time about not filling mine completely. I know this is a LONG shot BUT if you happen to come across this, if by chance you’d be interested Let’s meet for coffee?

B&N Thank you for the kind description of me. Who knows, we may run into eachother again. God Bless.

Firemen, police, and all the ones who willing give just for us to be OK. Thank you . where we live can only be a great place if each of us try our best. Thank you to me because I’m amazing and I’m trying one positive step at a time!!!

times I am having! You always say that I am helping you, but the real fact is you’re helping me! The past three years have been great. I am hoping for many more!!! TC

McDonald’s On 29th 1/22/2013. I saw you in front on McDonald on 29th and Regal waiting for the bus. I was in the McDonalds uniform and had headphones on waiting to cross the street. You were tall had glasses dark hair. When I went to cross the street I got hit by the car, you were the first person I saw. You had a Australian accent and told me I would be okay after I was hit, all I could say was where are my glasses if you remember this... I would like to meet for a drink sometime, thanks email me at cupcakeprincess1309@ gmail.com Andy’s Bar End of November. Andy’s bar. I had WAY too much to drink. I was talking to everyone, but you were actually sweet and authentic. I’m an idiot for not paying more attention to you. Me: drunk tall brunette. You sweet scruffy guy with glasses and an amazing smile. You let me share your tobacco outside. I woke up the next day kicking myself. I’m sure I left an awful first impression. Sorry. But I wanted to send out an “I Saw You” Just to let you know that you left an amazing impression on me. Durkin’s You: dark haired beauty server with bangs cut short and stunning eyes. Me: bearded fella having a beer with friend on Friday. We glanced at each other a few times, but didn’t get to say hi. Would love to talk. raindog324@gmail.com

Cheers Barista’s Barista’s at the the 2nd & Division Starbucks. I always come in at the last minute right before closing, but you always greet me with a warm smile and always make me feel welcome. My work often requires me to stay up very late into the night and my “late” cup of coffee enables

TO C O N N E C T

Put a non-identifying email address in your message, like “petals327@yahoo. com” — not “j.smith@ comcast.net.” me to further my research. I just want you all to know that you guys are “stars” in my book! Way To Many Jeers As I faithfully read Cheers and Jeers lately there are way to many jeers. Yes people piss you off and do stupid things, sad thing is there getting the attention that way. The reinforcement of immoral, stupid acts is just causing people to do more of them. So let’s give positive actions the attention and then people will do more of those to get all the attention. So I’m shouting out to my dork husband who constantly amazes me. Thirty two years of knowing you you would think that tough, but daily I find new things I didn’t know. To my bff whose smile and eyes can change someone’s day from grim to fantastic by just showing up and saying hi. To each and everyone I know who are so special and wonderful I’d take pages to shout out to, I live you all. To all the people I don’t know you make Spokane and it is beautiful. Thank you to our armed forces for your service.

My Bonnest Bunny Bon Bon: This December 18 is the 30th anniversary of our first date. It was a Tuesday, and we went to the Ponderosa Steakhouse on north Division. It’s now the Old European. I can’t remember what we ate, but I do remember we were holding hands in the parking lot as we walked out. I had goose bumps, as you were only the second girl I had ever dated in my life. 5 months later I proposed, and a year later we were married. I think about all the events (good and bad) that happened over the years and how it all started, and I have no regrets. I am so glad you have been there for me, and I’m honored to have been there for you. Here’s to the next 30 years of being at your side. I am so looking forward to it. I will love you always. Your Huggable Hug Bug.

Dot I can’t wait to wake up every morning because I know I am waking up to a great life filled with love and friendship. I love our life together, I wouldn’t trade a single moment with you and D for anything in the world. You give me so much love and support every single day, I honestly don’t know how to thank you enough for that my friend. All I can say is that I know in my heart of hearts that you are the one I have been wishing for my whole life and I’m so glad I found you. I love you dot. Moo McDonald’s Employee To the sweet red head at McDonald’s on Monroe. On December 3rd we went through the drive thru and asked for a band aid. You not only gave us a band aid you also gave us a sterile wipe and antibiotic cream. For you to go out of your way to think about the extra things really meant a lot to us!!! What you don’t know sweet girl is that I had just had my blood drawn for a difficult situation and was having a tough day. You made my heart smile!! I got to see the kindness in others and it made me realize how others must feel when I do good deeds! My next random act of kindness is for you

The Inlander Cheers to The Inlander for putting out the issue during Thanksgiving week a day early. It made my day that Wednesday to see the new issue on the rack, I was having a real craving for some I Saw You’s, and was worried I may have to wait until after the holiday to satisfy my craving when the stars aligned and in walked the Inlander delivery man bringing with him Gail L. is this week’s winner of the a Thanksgiving “Say it Sweet” promotion! miracle. Cheers, Send in your CHEERS so you too can for the small things be entered to win 1 dozen in life that we don’t “Cheers” cupcakes at always acknowledge, but Celebrations Sweet they make a big difference.

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Cheers

Jeers

sweet girl!!! Keep on doing it down. I really admire your what you do!!!! The world values and that you sound like needs you! such a devoted Mother to your child(ren). I too (a hopeless One Of A Kind I know you romantic) have found dating like to read these and I would to be a lost art and often ask like to dedicate one to you myself that same question. lady. Thank you for being an Being used because you have amazing friend and cousin. a big heart and always a giver? Getting to know you more That sounds real familiar to closely this past year has been me, and then I later cringe a true blessing. To coffee and when friends tell me I am too cake and true friendships. nice. Sounds like we have a lot in common – Coffee Jeers sometime? The Inlander will I’m Confused Why is medical know how to get hold of me. marijuana not available for In the meanwhile, don’t give recreational use? I just prefer up on dating – you might be to smoke low-THC, high-CBD choosing the wrong people pot, recreationally. I have the just as I had. right now to enjoy the kind of weed that doesn’t make Please Return Our Video Tape me super crazy paranoid; and Whitworth area, Thursday I would like to exercise that night the 20th, somebody broke into my place and stole right. a few items that had been in RE: Why Are People So Rude our family for generations, a You are responsible for your 100 year old camera and a own safety, and your own brass cigar box. The 10 year stupidity walked you into that old camcorder that is worth door. Your boyfriend is not a 25 bucks was not a big deal, ‘man’ for assaulting a random but the video tape that was in stranger for an accident that the camera was priceless. For was ultimately your fault to 6 years, every month, I had begin with, he’s a violent thug videoed my daughter as she and a bully that was looking grew, standing in the same for an excuse to pick a fight. I place for about 10 seconds hope he’s locked up for a long so we could watch her grow time, he probably has priors and change within minutes. If judging from his ape-like that tape has not already been reaction in the store. If he’s so thrown away or destroyed, willing to beat up a stranger, Please Please return.... no what the hell makes you think questions asked... he’s never going to put hands on you? He’s a douche-bag. RE: Obamacare “In reference You need to see a shrink and to Obamacare in the find out why you’re attracted Jeers section, what a sad to violent men before you spiteful little letter and so become just another statistic. disheartening that the person I hope that guy sues, but who wrote this should be so your loser boyfriend probably lacking in compassion and doesn’t have anything to lose. empathy that they would deny the less fortunate the basic RE: Dating Your letter touched right of health care. Everybody, my heart and reached into regardless of circumstances, my soul, and I still can’t set deserves dignity and respect, not to mention kindness. Life

’S THIS WEEK! ANSWERS

Jeers can be hard enough without the obstacles of intolerance and inhumanity. Perhaps, the person who wrote this should ask their doctor next time they are at the clinic to check and see why their heart is not in its rightful place. RE: Obamacare I read your piece and its surely disgusting and full of hate your words had showed in this section. Not only you’re judgemental, but also heartless towards other people who not necessarily are unemployed, welfare mothers smoking a whole pack of cigs while having illegitimate “unruly” children like you said in your joke of an article. These people, only want to go to the doctor to get their health in check. I think you better seek psychological help or if you don’t like the clinic move elsewhere to the wealthy medical areas if you feel disgusted of dealing with the low-income. Absenteeism: The truth is, you are lazy, entitled, and don’t want to work. Never mind that your coworkers have to pick up the slack while you are away, but clients depend on you, badly. It makes the whole office look bad when you call out. We all have our problems. We all get sick and tired. A lot of us have kids. Some of us have second jobs and school that we juggle. But we don’t all use it as an excuse to call in, every other week. And if you get fired for your absenteeism, it makes clients even more upset. Where’s the work ethic? Gum-chewing cube dweller Only a gum snapper? I’ll trade you a yelling, yammering pita (pain in the ... well you know)! On their phone the majority of the day, talking loudly because everyone must know how important their job is. If there’s someone in the area they want to talk to, do they get out of their chair, do they use their phone? Nope. They just yell. And continue to yell. Requests for courtesy are met with flippant sarcasm. This is just a tiny bit in their handbag of rude behavior. Yeah, I’d take gum snapping any day.

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DECEMBER 11, 2013 INLANDER 69

Why Time Keeps On Slipping The scariest thing about the march of time is that it keeps marching faster By Daniel Walters

“I

t feels like just yesterday,” is supposed to be a wistful phrase, the sort uttered by a rockingchair-bound senior, before reminiscing about the good ol’ days. But when you actually hear yourself begin to use it, it feels a lot more like horror. “Feels like just yesterday” means grappling with just how fast the sand is falling through the hourglass, and just how much has already fallen. I’ve worked more than six years at the Inlander, a figure I can barely fathom. That’s nearly my entire run of Crayola crayons, four-square games and spelling bees at Linwood Elementary. That’s more than all the years of cafeteria banter, student body election speeches and cross-country meets at Salk Middle School and North Central High School combined. It doesn’t feel a fraction of that length. During an interview Monday, North Central Principal Steve Fisk asks in passing how long it’s been since I graduated high school. A decade, I say. “Doesn’t that feel lovely,” he says with a wry chuckle. Far from being a raucous celebration of 20-something youth, our high school reunion a few months ago was a small, melancholy affair, largely obsolete in the Facebook age. It would have felt like just the end of another lengthy summer vacation, if it weren’t for everyone looking so old. That goes for me too. Today, the sun burns my scalp

70 INLANDER DECEMBER 11, 2014

right through my thinning hair. My metabolism no longer shrugs off binge eating as a youthful indiscretion. It’s not that so much time has passed that freaks me out, it’s that it feels like it’s passing increasingly faster.

t’s not a unique experience. I call up Tracy Walters, my grandpa who turns 84 this month. Through kids, grandkids and great-grandkids, he says his mental yardstick for measuring time keeps shifting. “We know we don’t have a lot of time left,” he says about himself and his friends his age. “It feels like an exponential speedup.” If the first 22 years of life are the roller coaster slowly ratcheting up, gradually approaching the peak, the last 70 are the terrifying plunge. Then just like that, the car pulls up to the stop, and it’s over. Science, fortunately, has a diagnosis. Neuroscientist David Eagleman experiments with the perception of time at the Laboratory for Perception and Action at the Baylor College of Medicine. That extends to asking subjects to free-fall 110 feet from a gondola into a net. Afterward, they recall how long the fall took by using a stopwatch. On average, they remembered the fall lasting a third longer than it did in reality. It’s not that the perception of time slows down Matrixstyle, Eagleman explains. It’s that, confronted with the prospect of death, the fear response triggers the brain to copy down the information to memory in hyperspeed.

chris Dreyer illustration

When memory recalls that experience, it has more to unspool. Eagleman convincingly argues that this discovery can be applied to perceptions of years rather than seconds. Here, the most important piece is novelty, rather than fear. “This may be why time seems to speed up as you age: you develop more compressed representations of events, and the memories to be read out are correspondingly impoverished,” Eagleman writes in “Brain Time,” his 2009 essay. “When you are a child, and everything is novel, the richness of the memory gives the impression of increased time passage — for example, when looking back at the end of a childhood summer.”

he brain isn’t a stenographer, in other words, dutifully recording a transcript: It’s a journalist, only jotting down what’s important, with an eye toward what’s new. Your mind measures time in column inches. Give it nothing to work with, and life speeds by like a TV listing. Cram it with strange, exciting events and it fills across reams. Ironically, this means the much-mocked prescriptions to mid-life crises — buying a fancy car, cruising across the country on a motorcycle, having an affair — actually work. Those experiences are novel enough to slow down time. In the long run, time doesn’t fly when you’re having fun, it turns out. Time flies when you’re bored. It’s why one year of the previous six felt longer than the other five combined: I read great books, fell in love, visited a foreign country — all novel experiences. It’s why the past six months felt like they were lost between breaths. There’s were no big plot twists or surprises, just repetition and routine: Deadline, sleep, coffee, deadline. The clock-in, clock-out life, it turns out, exacts a higher cost than just wasting the seconds left on that clock: It makes those remaining seconds tick by ever faster. n danielw@inlander.com

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