Inlander 11/29/2018

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BEFORE

EDITOR’S NOTE

J

eremy Morris says he felt called by God to light up a dark little corner of North Idaho with CHRISTMAS cheer — with 200,000 glowing lights drawing thousands of revelers to his normally quiet subdivision in Hayden. That calling would put him at odds with many of his neighbors who felt bullied by Morris, a man others refer to as Mr. Christmas and Clark Griswold.

It’s an incredible true story by staff writer Daniel Walters, and it involves a full cast of characters, from gun-toting “patriots” and Fox News pundits, to a camel named Dolly and a Santa Claus who — no joke — wound up on the witness stand in federal court.

If it were a typical Christmas story, everyone would end up fat and happy, but this is real life, and this story is anything but typical. Don’t miss it beginning on page 22.

— JACOB H. FRIES, Editor

AFTER

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DO YOU DECORATE FOR THE HOLIDAYS?

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VANESSA FLOWERS Yes. We put up decorations because we love the holidays. We do lots of snowmen and all the fun things. Lots of Christmas lights.

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Feel Fabulous this Fall

JAMESON POWELL We decorate a little bit. Not too much. I think the most special thing for us is the lights. We go out and look at everybody else’s lights.

Where do you typically go?

Manito’s a good spot. And around Cheney.

What’s the most elaborate one you’ve seen?

The people that go all out, like lights all the way around and up the pine trees, spiralling all the way up.

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SCOTT BRUESS Yes. The standard tree and all the Christmas stuff goes inside.

Is there an ornament that’s most special to you?

It doesn’t sound great, but it’s the “decapiSanta.”

What’s that?

Somebody had a Styrofoam ball with the face of Santa on it, and we didn’t have a topping for the tree. … So we took the head off of it and made it the top of the tree.

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MATTHEW LAPLANTE Which holiday are you talking about?

Well, which one do you go all-out for?

Probably St. Nicholas Day. It’s a little less known. It’s on Dec. 6. … My brother’s name is Nick, and that’s why we started doing it. He’s named after St. Nicholas. It really just became a tradition, and my parents didn’t want, I think, a giant influx of one day to celebrate the religious season.

MEAGAN FAWCETT I have my fireplace mantle. I’m getting my Christmas tree when I get back [home].

Is there a specific ornament or decoration you’ve hung onto?

I made this little nativity set at my church when I was 3. All the hair’s falling off the people. It’s super ratty. I’ve lost baby Jesus a few times. But my mom gave it to me when I moved out, so I put that up every year.

INTERVIEWS BY NATHAN WEINBENDER 11/21/2018, ATTICUS COFFEE & GIFTS

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After the Vote Making sense of what happened in North Idaho on Nov. 6

BY MARY LOU REED

L

ooking out my window, I drink in a delicious sunset with pink clouds floating over deep-blue mountains, set against an Aliceblue Lake Coeur d’Alene. But the shimmering beauty of the Coeur d’Alene setting just doesn’t make up for my post-election letdown.

Beautiful scenery can’t change hearts and minds, or produce better schools or roads and bridges.

I had hoped for a giant Blue Wave to drench our local elections here in North Idaho, and all we got was a firm Red Slap.

The local Kootenai County Democratic slate of candidates was so exceptional that hopes of winning were high. We met a rude awakening from our dream-on world. We wondered, as did Steve Cameron in the Coeur d’Alene Press, how Coeur d’Alene voters could embrace Proposition 2 to expand Medicaid, yet also reject the proposition’s most enthusiastic proponent, Rebecca Schroeder, who championed the measure door to door throughout the city.

I can be accused of crying over spilled votes, and that I’m a poor loser, that the election is behind us, and I should get over it. All the above is true, and I will get over it. But it’s also important to remind people that if they vote for the status quo, they will get the same results they got before — again and again. (Albert Einstein left us that wise definition of insanity: “Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”)

long time before caller ID and massive sales campaigns by phone entered the picture.

Because the telephone has been so overused, people are understandably cautious, annoyed and even angry when the phone rings and with it comes a political pitch. And we all know how everyone feels about robocalls.

Maddening annoyances.

Personally, I consider the telephone to have run its course as an effective instrument of political persuasion.

I had hoped for a giant Blue Wave to drench our local elections here in North Idaho, and all we got was a firm Red Slap.

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T

he initiative process is only called upon when the Legislature fails to act. For six years, the Idaho Legislature failed to accept Medicaid expansion dollars. Fortunately, the effort to tap the electorate by initiative produced enough signatures to get the measure on the ballot. On Election Day, 60.4 percent of Idaho voters backed the measure. The successful vote turned Medicaid expansion into law.

Some Republican legislators are now threatening to interfere with implementation of the new law. I say they do so at their peril. Voters will be watching and remembering.

And voters do need to follow the workings of their elected officials all year around — not just at election time. Reaching voters with accurate information is a challenge for candidates and political parties.

Years ago, when I was first a candidate, the telephone was considered a neighborly instrument. Some folks shared party lines over which the neighbors could listen in if they chose. Campaign workers were able to identify supporters by simply dialing a number and at the other end of the line a person would answer with a friendly hello. Sometimes it was hard to get off the phone when an affable guy wanted to chat. That was a

We should understand it’s a tough challenge for candidates and political parties to get their messages through to voters. TV and print ads and stamps and printing all add up to big dollars.

Campaigning is obviously very expensive and the dollars spent by candidates in U.S. elections add up to an indecent amount. The world’s hungry and homeless could be fed and housed by the millions we spend on elections.

K

ootenai County had a gift this year of the time of energetic Jessica Nash-Mahuron, who has a passion for getting information out to voters. Last year she designed a handout for the League of Women Voters. In August of this year, Jessica personally organized a “Civic Action Festival,” which was held in the Coeur d’Alene City Park with booths for candidates and organizations they filled with information.

People wandered in and out talking to candidates and group representatives. The event included live music, food trucks, wine and beer and was a good old time.

Candidate debates and pubic forums are another great way to inform voters, especially if they are passed on by TV and the press. This year the newspapers went out of their way to convey election news. Two problems — younger readers don’t get their news from traditional newspapers, and the information flow has to be year round, not just at election time.

The happy note to end on is this: Win or lose, the big turnout on Nov. 6 was a great plus. This was aided by nonstop national news, concern about the direction President Trump is leading the country and the chance to vote on expanding Medicaid. n

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Christ Kitchen’s annual event features a local pastry chef gingerbread house building competition and gingerbread house decorating for guests ($7), along with a holiday photo booth ($5). Proceeds support the local nonprofit assisting women in poverty. Free to watch. Sun, Dec. 9 from 10 am-4 pm.

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WE ARE STILL HERE NATIVE ART SHOW AND AUCTION

Twenty-eight Native American artists from the Inland Northwest, representing a dozen different tribes, show their work in conjunction with December’s First Friday event with a live art auction on Saturday, Dec. 8, from 2-5 pm.

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HUMAN RIGHTS DAY

Celebrate human rights and the support the local community gives this local nonprofit. This day is dedicated to recognizing and appreciating the generosity of HREI donors, who make its mission achievable. A celebration is planned to start in the afternoon. Free. Mon, Dec. 10. Human Rights Education Institute, 414 Fort Grounds Dr., Coeur d’Alene. hrei.org (208-292-2359)

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Second Harvest partners with Great Northern Brewing Co. to host a 2.5 hour event consisting of one part service and one part suds. Attendees participate in a food sort activity, followed by a beer sampling with Great Northern Brewing. $25. Ages 21+. Thu, Dec. 13 from 5:30-8 pm. Second Harvest Food Bank, 1234 E. Front Ave. secondharvestkitchen.org (252-6249) n Tell us about your event or other opportunities to get involved. Submit events at Inlander.com/getlisted or email getlisted@inlander.com.

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COMMENT | TECHNOLOGY

CALEB WALSH ILLUSTRATION

Fasting from the Internet What happened when I forced myself to go offline

BY AILEEN KEOWN VAUX

W

hen I taught English composition at Spokane Falls Community College, I always themed at least one class around human relationships with technology. In my attempt to make a mandatory writing class interesting to sleepy 18-year-olds, I gambled on the fact that everyone could point to at least one piece of technology they used habitually. To teach students how to write a personal essay, I asked them to participate in the following social experiment: choose one piece of technology,

give it up for 48 hours, and then write about what they learned in its absence. Every class reacted identically: They gasped, looked horrified, then committed 100 percent.

The patterns that emerged from their stories were oddly predictable: Many would give up their phones and then panic in grocery store lines, checking their pockets in a cold sweat. Giving up Netflix led to such profound bouts of boredom that students said they had no option but to clean their rooms. Many reported that the experiment initially intensified their anxiety, then as their restlessness abated over the 48 hours, they found it easier

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to focus on homework or hang out with friends.

During the years I assigned the tech fast, I never participated. Lately, though, as I’ve struggled to manage the onslaught of a 24-hour news cycle, I’ve started to wonder what would happen to my mind if I recalibrated my relationship with technology. Would my life improve like my students’?

I’ve started to worry about my Pavlovian, immediately-unlock-the-screen-response whenever I hear a text notification ding from my iPhone. And when I read in a recent New York Times article, “A Dark ConLETTERS sensus About Screens Send comments to and Kids Begins to editor@inlander.com.

Emerge in Silicon Valley,” that many tech executives severely limit screens for their own children because of the addictive nature of technology, I decided it was time to take on my own assignment. So, for the last seven months I’ve been internet-free at home — no cable, Amazon Prime, Hulu, Netflix, social media or surfing the web. Yes, I can check the internet on my phone with my data plan, but it isn’t as convenient as my laptop. All that entertains me at home now are books, DVDs from the library, and offline Google Docs where I do most of my writing.

While I think it is too simple to say life has categorically improved without the internet, I can say I’ve learned to be more intentional with the hours of my day. I used to spend almost as much time browsing my Netflix queue as I did watching Netflix. Now, with three or four DVDs to choose from, if I don’t feel in the mood to watch one, I simply write or read a book. In fact, I’ve read more books in the last seven months than I have in the last few years combined. I find it is easier to get a full night’s sleep when I can’t binge-watch television or fall down an internet rabbit hole. My attention span has improved. I’ve saved enough money to fly to San Diego, Portland, and Minneapolis to visit friends. And, much like my students, I’ve kept an immaculately clean apartment out of sheer boredom.

While I am sure this experiment will come to an end one day, it’s been a useful reminder that anyone can restructure their relationship with technology — that we have choices in how we embrace a rapidly evolving world. Or to paraphrase Dr. Ian Malcolm from Jurassic Park — a DVD I recently checked out from the library — just because we can invite an information highway into our homes it’s important to consider whether or not we should. n Aileen Keown Vaux is an essayist and poet whose chapbook Consolation Prize was published by Scablands Books in 2018

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You’re so money. financial educ ation presented by stcu.

Buy the modem, pocket the savings.

Here’s an easy way to trim your monthly internet bill.

W

hen telephones had cords and rotary dials, Ma Bell owned the phones and required customers to pay monthly rent.

Even after buying your own landline became an option, some people didn’t realize the rules had changed and kept paying the monthly fee. With the money they spent over the years, those customers could have bought crates of fancy duchess phones with gold plating and pearl handles.

The modern equivalent: The fees charged by cable internet service providers (ISPs) to use their modems and routers (or modem-router combos). Check your bill, and you might see that you’re paying a monthly fee of $5, $10 or more.

“For $100, you can get equipment that should last five years,” says Charles Kinsey, an information security analyst at STCU. “Even if it fails early, you’re still talking about a savings.”

For a bit more of an investment, your new gear can include a next-generation firewall that will greatly improve the security of your home network without compromising speed, says Kinsey, who has helped many of his colleagues save money and protect their personal data.

“The equipment you buy may be better quality than those you’re currently renting” and should eliminate any dead zones in your home, Kinsey says. “You don’t have to be a techie to make the switch, either.”

Start with a simple web search to determine which cable modems are compatible with your particular provider, and study the reviews. In addition to a modem to receive signals, you’ll need a wireless router to distribute it. Some two-in-one units are available, but Kinsey says you’ll likely get better quality and more versatility by buying them separately.

After you’ve made your selection, call your ISP to activate your new equipment. While you’re on the phone, ask to have the modem fee removed from your monthly bill, and find out how the company wants you to return the rental equipment.

Once it’s activated, you can change the default password on your new router and update your modem firmware (which is basically software etched into the device). Instructions for those two important security steps should be included with the new gear, or you can find manufacturer-specific instructions online.

Finally, decide what to do with your monthly savings!

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COMMENT | FROM READERS

HASTA AVISTA, BABY he pro statements for the Avista-Hydro One merger are at best flimsy

T

(“Power Grab,” 11/15/18).

There would be no advantage of “bulk buying power.” The newest meter reading equipment is state of the art, with no improvement on the horizon. The Ontario government has already proven they can have a huge impact on Hydro One. There is no guarantee politics won’t have a negaLETTERS tive impact on Avista as well.

Send comments to With Hydro One getting its editor@inlander.com. power from nuclear sources, that is a very expensive way to go. Will Avista customers have to cover those future costs? We are well on the way to generating a lot of our power from “clean” sources. The only people making out on this deal are Avista executives.

Avista should be a customer-owned utility; let the customers buy it.

That would save several million dollars a year in salaries and bonuses for the executives.

I see no upside for Avista ratepayers. Only several possible downsides.

Lastly, why should we export money to Canada?

HERB POSTLEWAIT Spokane, Wash.

Readers respond to an Inlander.com story about Gonzaga basketball’s recent No. 1 ranking, and the team’s perpetual underdog status (11/26/18):

RICK HALL: Gonzaga’s program is not on Duke’s level of success after this game, don’t even go there. You don’t know basketball if you think that!

MICHAEL FOX: Sorry folks but Gonzaga is nowhere near an equally high-level program like Duke. Are you kidding me? I’m glad they beat Duke and are number one, but it’s delusional to think the basketball programs are even in the same universe.

TONY JOHNSON: Gonzaga is always over ranked. ... I love the Zags but want them to be be ranked as they should be.

Readers respond to a New York Times article on Inlander.com about climate change’s impact on the U.S. economy (11/24/19):

CALVIN ULBRICHT: Climate change is definitely a naturally happening occurrence, as history has proven.

But for anyone to think that we are not making it worse is just denial.

We are a parasitic species as far as the Earth is concerned. We take what we want and we give nothing back, not even our dead anymore.

MARIE KUKULA-TYNER: If you think humans have nothing to do with climate change or that we are not having a devastating impact on our planet, can I come to your house with 7 billion people and throw trash and poison your food and water to see if it has any impact on your home? Deliberate ignorance is going to destroy us and our planet. n

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Tyson Sicilia, owner of the Observatory, is working with Spokane bar owners to keep hate out of their establishments. YOUNG KWAK PHOTO

POLITICS

BARRING THE BOYS How Spokane’s downtown bar scene is reacting to a local chapter of Proud Boys

BY SAMANTHA WOHLFEIL

A

s the video starts, a dozen or so 40 to 50-year-old men — dressed in red Make America Great Again hats and an assortment of black and gold polos and camo — walk through downtown Spokane, capturing their Saturday night out as “Proud Boys.”

On the bar crawl for the local chapter of the national right-wing men’s group, they talk about “libtards” and “triggering” people who disagree with their less than politically correct views. They specifically choose to hit up some of the city’s most popular alternative nightlife spots, places with “All Are Welcome Here” signs.

Minutes into the first of several videos, the men duck into an alley to “initiate” a member. Five guys punch him as he smiles and shouts out the name of five breakfast cereals.

It’s absurd, and it’s part of the “joke” element of the Proud Boys, says William Hulings, vice president of the Eastern Washington/Northern Idaho chapter that was

started in August. Hulings is the one who filmed and posted the Nov. 10 video, and he sees Proud Boys as a drinking fraternity.

But when it’s suggested others might not think the group is funny anymore — it’s been labelled a hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center and linked with violent fights across the country — Hulings concedes that things have changed since its founding in 2016.

“Our country changed, look at our new president,” says Hulings, 42, sitting in a Spokane Valley coffee shop.

“He’s the No. 1 fascist to most people, to most liberals.

People hate him, and just like anybody that supports him, we’re basically the same.”

While the Proud Boys organization has repeatedly tried to distance itself from white nationalism and white supremacy, denouncing neo-Nazis and anti-LGBT sentiments and barring members who hold those beliefs, its members also regularly attend rallies by groups like Joey

Gibson’s Patriot Prayer group. Gibson’s organization also denounces racism, but repeatedly attracts white supremacists to its events. Some Proud Boys have gotten in violent brawls with anti-fascists, or antifa, in and around their gatherings.

“What concerns a lot of people from a community perspective, and apparently also law enforcement, is the fact that there isn’t a strong border between them and other more extreme groups,” says Kate Bitz, who helps track hate groups in the region as a fellow in the Western States Center’s Defending Democracy program.

Hulings, who identifies as a Trump supporter and nationalist (though not a white nationalist), says he’s felt targeted. People at progressive rallies here have passed around his picture, claiming he takes inappropriate photos and publishes identifying information on people he disagrees with online — a tactic known as doxing. He ...continued on next page

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William Hulings, left, is vice president of the recently formed local chapter of Proud Boys. PHOTO COURTESY OF WILLIAM HURLING

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says he’s personally been doxed after supporting Patriot Prayer in Portland and Seattle, and people have threatened online to “feed this f---er a brick.”

Hulings mentions repeatedly that antifa are “kinda our enemy.” He despises being called a hate group, and points to the fact he’s half-Asian and other members are Mexican as proof they’re not racists or Nazis.

But after the “Triggered Spokane” videos were posted, many bar owners began wrestling with the question of whether and how to ban the group from patronizing their establishments.

The conversations caught on camera that night were mostly civil. One woman repeatedly asks “what is a Proud Boy?” if they’re really not white supremacists or haters, if everyone online has it wrong. She never gets a solid answer, other than “we’re a drinking group.”

It’s clear, though, that the goal was to get some sort of reaction.

“We don’t have antifa fighting in the streets here and that’s supposed to be their thing. We don’t have that so they’re actually out trying to cause trouble,” says Tyson Sicilia, owner of the Observatory bar downtown. “They never got the reaction they were looking for.”

While the Spokane chapter may seem relatively harmless right now, Sicilia says his biggest fear is what might happen if they do get the reaction they want.

“They look like kind of a joke,” he says.

“The problem is, the guys that are pissed about them are not a joke. There’s some big metal and punk kids that want to stomp them into the ground, and … I don’t want to give them any notoriety, but I also want people to be aware of how to handle them, and not to fight them so we don’t have a million more Proud Boys here in Spokane.”

How, he wonders, can Spokane’s bar scene take seriously the threat of a potential hate group baiting people, while convincing their customers and friends the best thing to do is not to engage?

L

ast week, Proud Boys founder Gavin McInnes, who co-founded VICE Media, announced he was disassociating from the “Western chauvinist” group, which believes the west is best. McInnes said in a video he thought the move might help the court case against Proud Boys involved in a New York City fight last month.

The move came after a Guardian report on a Clark County Sheriff’s Office memo that states “the FBI categorizes the Proud Boys as an extremist group with ties to white nationalism.” The Proud Boys have tried to discredit the report, and since McInnes’ exit, the group has reiterated its rules don’t allow racists.

“I also want people to be aware of how to handle them, and not to fight them so we don’t have a million more Proud Boys here in Spokane.”

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Proud Boys believe adamantly in gun rights, in the “veneration of the housewife,” traditional marriage and limited government, according to the group’s official publication. They’re told not to masturbate more than once a month so they’ll be more motivated to interact with women.

They’re against illegal immigrants. Violence is a central theme: Getting in a fight that’s considered justified is an honor.

Hulings reiterates he despises racism, as he was made fun of while growing up in Medical Lake.

“I mean, you hear about these kids getting harassed in school and they come and shoot up the school, that was kinda me growing up, because I look Hispanic,” Hulings says, claiming people make wrong assumptions about Proud Boys. “They see somebody with a red hat that says Keep America Great, next thing you know we’re some kind of hate group and they can’t

allow us to go into a business. Seriously, what has this country come to?”

But nationally the group has regularly rubbed elbows with the more extreme alt-right. Locally, Spokane members went into the Checkerboard Bar and told then-bartender Tina Rodriguez that they were going to go to the nearby bar and start a fight with gay men, describing them with a slur, she says.

“That was the last straw for me,” says Rodriguez, who quit after she didn’t feel the Checkerboard owners took swift enough action to stop the group from coming to the bar. “They make you feel unsure about your feelings about them because you start questioning things. They’re multiracial, oh, they’re having this perfectly civil conversation with someone, oh, you can be gay and be a Proud Boy. That might be the case, but I don’t even think the Proud Boys understand what the Proud Boys stand for honestly.”

A

few weeks ago, bands stopped booking shows at the Checkerboard after finding out the Proud Boys were meeting there. Co-owner Ashley Maye put out a call to see how she should address concerns. Without naming the group, she said they hadn’t caused problems, but she wanted to know what to do.

“At first I’m so confused, why is everyone so offended by this group? Then I did some research, and that was my bad,” Maye says. “So I was like, ‘OK, so I don’t want any of that in the bar.’ ... It doesn’t matter if you’re extreme right, extreme left, religious, that stuff shouldn’t be at a bar anyways.”

The Proud Boys then claimed they actually meet at the Observatory.

“I said, ‘Oh really? They absolutely do not, and they’re not welcome,’” says Observatory owner Sicilia.

Soon, someone stole pictures from his Facebook and created a new page in his name, posting Nazi and KKK memes making him look like a white supremacist. He got the account removed and reported to police, but it was a taste of the rapid social media LETTERS reaction the group is known for.

Send comments to Within a week, the “Trigeditor@inlander.com. gered Spokane” videos were uploaded. The fact that they appeared to target specific bars known for being accepting put some people on edge.

Sicilia says the Observatory has high-definition cameras both outside and inside the bar, and since this happened, he’s bought an ID scanner so his staff can flag people who they find out are extremists or causing trouble. Hate hasn’t been and won’t be allowed in his bar.

He and others like Patty Tully, longtime owner of Baby Bar, plan to meet again this week to figure out the best tactics to address the group with a united front.

Over the years, Tully has had to kick drunk people out, and it’s usually like dealing with toddlers, she says. They always leave when she tells them, and many come back to apologize later.

But with this group, it’s less clear how they’re going to react, she says. How do you keep people from all walks of life comfortable in the bar, and keep a situation from escalating if you want to ask someone to leave?

“We’ve always said everyone is welcome, but the minute you make anyone uncomfortable you have to leave,” Tully says. “I do not want them sitting up front at Neato where everyone can see them, making people feel uncomfortable. That’s not why I have a bar, you know?”

Guidelines for how to ask them to leave could help, she says, as could trying to catch things on camera if there’s an issue. That way, if the group is also filming, they can’t edit footage and make it look like someone was getting kicked out for being a veteran or for their race.

But the main key to all this is to diffuse the situation, she says.

“That’s the thing that’s scary about that, when people are drinking, that’s opposite of what people think about doing, especially at all these bars, people feel like it’s their home bar,” she says. “It’s hard enough to run a bar where you’re serving people a legal drug, and now you have to worry about this? It’s crazy.” n

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NEWS | DIGEST

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WALLING OFF THE HOMELESS At 9:30 am Monday, activists and HOMELESS individuals joined hands outside Spokane City Hall, forming a “wall” to protest the city’s plans to clean up the camp that was formed there to demand more resources for the homeless. On Saturday, the city posted notices warning them to clear out by Monday or else code enforcement would come and clean up the site on their own. “They basically threatened to come out here at 9:30 and remove what little people owned,” says Alfredo LLamedo, who organized the protest. “So when I found out, I said, ‘No. Not gonna happen.’” Yet city code enforcement didn’t show up at 9:30 am. Instead, city spokeswoman Marlene Feist says code enforcement officers went out later Monday for “litter control,” but she says they won’t take any personal items from the campers. (WILSON CRISCIONE)

16 INLANDER NOVEMBER 29, 2018

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GONZAGA IS NO. 1...

NICE OF YOU TO NOTICE, AMERICA America, meet RUI HACHIMURA. You’re late to the party and that’s on you. Here in the Inland Northwest, we’ve known about the special basketball talent that has graced our presence for the past two-plus seasons. Inlander readers even voted him Best Athlete in this year’s readers poll. But, America in general? They’re just catching on. Even those people who should’ve known by now, like ESPN’s talking heads. But we know. Hachimura scored 20 points, to go along with seven rebounds, five assists and three blocks as then No. 3 ranked Gonzaga defeated then No. 1 ranked Duke 89-87 and won the Maui Invitational Championship. But, again, America is still learning. (WILL MAUPIN)

EAGLES SOAR BACK TO LAKE CDA It’s that time of year again. The Kokanee are spawning at Lake Coeur d’Alene, which means the BALD EAGLES are back in big numbers to snatch them out of the water. Last year, the eagles came in record numbers, with the Coeur d’Alene office of the Bureau of Land Management counting 383 eagles in December 2017.

The numbers aren’t quite there yet this year — there were 110 at last count — but BLM wildlife biologist Carrie Hugo says there will once again be a healthy population of eagles near Wolf Lodge Bay. (WILSON CRISCIONE)

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He created models to simulate how the fibers move through water and congregate. Next, he hopes to get more detailed data with real microfibers to see how the models compare to real life conditions. “One of the biggest concerns is fish like to eat these things, particularly larger ones,” Engdahl says. “If we know how they move, we have a pretty good idea where they’re going to accumulate and those can be places we’ll monitor more closely.”

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NEWS | BRIEFS

Tit-for-Tat The Spokane City Council overrides another Condon veto

R

oughly a week after Spokane Mayor David Condon vetoed an ordinance that would have stalled his initiative to integrate city and county 911 DISPATCH systems, the City Council unanimously overrode his veto.

For months, Mayor Condon and the heads of local public safety agencies have been pushing for integrating the currently siloed city and county 911 dispatch systems to improve response times.

However, the plan has faced stiff opposition. City dispatch employees have protested the notion due to concerns that their pay and benefits might be reduced, while the council has contended that their questions about the plan’s financing and staffing models have gone unanswered by Condon’s office.

So in early November, the council approved an ordinance banning the Spokane police and fire departments from working with dispatchers who aren’t city employees. Condon then vetoed the ordinance on Nov. 20, calling it a “complete overstep of the authority of the legislative branch.” He also claimed that the council has been kept abreast of the integration plans and that it will ultimately save the city money.

In response, at Monday night’s meeting, the council overrode his veto with a 6-0 vote. Prior to the vote,

Council President Ben Stuckart strongly contested Condon’s claims that his office has kept the council in the loop. “When somebody stands up and says ‘we gave you all of that information and you’re just not listening to us,’ when in fact none of us have any of that information … I think that’s dishonest,” he said. “I think you can call lies ‘lies’ at this point.” (JOSH KELETY)

KONIS TURNS THE TABLES

On election night, it appeared Republican Leonard Christian would become the next Spokane County ASSESSOR, as he led his opponent Tom Konis, also a Republican, by more than 1,000 votes.

But now that the election is certified, Konis has the slight edge, taking a lead of just over 150 votes. Konis, however, isn’t celebrating yet. The narrow margin will prompt a recount.

“I’ll be confident in a couple of weeks when the recount is over,” Konis tells the Inlander.

Konis, who has been employed in the assessor’s office for 25 years, credits his comeback to the work his campaign did late in the game.

“We purposely did a lot of stuff late in the campaign.

We were trying to be as fresh as we could be to people,” Konis says.

He lost in the primary by more than 10,000 votes, but as the general election neared, he splurged on radio and newspaper ads and had his campaign do sign waving in the city. Konis carried the vote in the city of Spokane, while Christian did better in Spokane Valley.

“I also really feel this position should be a nonpartisan position, so I reached out to Democrats to get their support,” he says.

The recount should be done by Dec. 7. In order for a hand recount to be done, the margin had to be less than

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Tom Konis has pulled ahead in the race for Spokane County assessor.

150 and less than a quarter of 1 percent difference, says Spokane County Auditor Vicky Dalton. The margin as of press time Tuesday was 152, meaning instead it will be a machine recount.

Christian, reached by phone Tuesday, opted not to comment for this article.

“I’m really not interested in talking about it,” he says.

(WILSON CRISCIONE)

THE SHAMING OF SHEA?

Rep. Matt Shea isn’t new to CONTROVERSIAL headlines.

He pulled a gun in a road rage confrontation. He called the tax audit of Idaho Rep. Phil Hart “bureaucratic terrorism.” He riffed with Alex Jones about FEMA camp conspiracies. He encouraged people to stock up on ammo

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to use on looters when society inevitably collapses. He flew down to Nevada to cheerlead the Bundy Ranch standoff. He sent a “security expert” named Anthony Bosworth — who had earlier been arrested for bringing an AK-style rifle to the federal courthouse — down to help the armed occupiers of the Oregon wildlife refuge. He repeatedly refuses to answer questions from the local newspapers, referring to them as the “Socialist-Review” and the “Inslander.” Sheriff Ozzie Knezovich calls Shea a liar, while former County Commissioner Todd Mielke described an outburst of “spontaneous, extreme anger.”

But for almost a decade, none of this seemed to impact his standing with the Washington State House Republicans. For seven years, Shea was Republican assistant floor leader. And in 2017, he got elected to an even more influential position within the party: caucus chair.

But not anymore. Caucus leadership elections were held on Monday, and Shea wasn’t on the list.

So what changed? While Republicans wouldn’t comment on the discussions in the caucus elections, Shea made a lot more headlines in the last couple of months. First, he called journalists “dirty, godless, hateful people.” Then he was the subject of a massive Rolling Stone profile from former Inlander writer Leah Sottile.

And finally, a Shea-authored document called “Biblical Basis for War” made international news. The document, which appeared to cite the Old Testament command in Deuteronomy to “kill all males” who did not surrender to God’s people, also condemns “communism” and urges the use of “assassination and sabotage” against “tyrants.” While Shea insisted that he was not actually calling for mass murder, multiple campaign donors requested their money back.

“Thank you to all of you who pressured House Republicans to do the right thing and remove Matt Shea as caucus chair,” Democratic Lt. Governor Cyrus Habib wrote on Twitter. “Advocating violence against religious minorities is both immoral and un-American.” (DANIEL WALTERS)

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NEWS | WEED

Ratted Out A new study from WSU suggests pregnant mothers who smoke cannabis could be impairing their child’s development

BY WILSON CRISCIONE

A

pregnant rat crouches down inside a clear box.

Suddenly, a puff of vapor bursts through. The rat inhales it. Two minutes later, it happens again.

And again. After one hour, the rat — having no choice in the matter — is completely high.

The rat, being a rat, probably has no idea how this will affect its offspring. Unfortunately, humans don’t know very much either, which is why this rat and her baby were chosen for this study conducted by Washington State University researchers.

As a result, researchers are a little bit closer to understanding how weed impacts the brain of children exposed to cannabis in the womb — both in rats and in humans.

“There appears to be some subtle deficits with respect to domains of cognitive functioning,” says Ryan McLaughlin, assistant professor in the WSU Department of Integrative Physiology and Neuroscience.

Essentially, that means pregnant mothers who use cannabis may be altering brain development in their children. McLaughlin presented a summary of the study earlier this month at Neuroscience 2018, the largest neuroscience conference in the world. While he stresses that the results of the study are still preliminary and have not been published in a peer-reviewed publication, the study appears to reinforce what public health

officials have recommended for decades: Don’t smoke while you’re pregnant.

McLaughlin says it’s an important area of research since perceptions of cannabis have shifted as it’s been legalized in Washington and other states.

“We have an increased urgency to really understand what the long-term ramifications are,” he says.

P

regnant women appear to be using weed more often — or at least they’re more comfortable admitting they do. A national survey published last year indicates that marijuana use among pregnant women increased from 2.4 percent in 2002 to 3.8 percent in 2014, a 62 percent jump.

Susan Schultz, program manager for the Spokane Regional Health District’s (SRHD) nurse-family partnership program, says she notices pregnant mothers are more often assuming marijuana is OK to use during their pregnancy. Most frequently it’s used for nausea or anxiety. “[They think] it wouldn’t have been legalized if there was a problem with it,” Schultz says.

Schultz says the message has always been not to smoke anything during pregnancy. Cannabis could lead to premature birth, cause the child to have lifelong issues paying attention or following rules, or lower a child’s IQ, according to the SRHD. But Schultz admits there’s still plenty left to be learned about how pregnant mothers smoking marijuana will impact kids. In studies on children exposed to marijuana before birth, it can be difficult to isolate marijuana when mothers often use other substances as well. In fact, McLaughlin says those extraneous factors make it difficult to be certain what the effects of cannabis would be on children.

“Really, we don’t know a whole lot about what the effects of cannabis alone are on the cognitive development of offspring,” McLaughlin says.

T

hat’s where the rats come in. McLaughlin and the team of researchers exposed the pregnant rats to marijuana vapor to try to replicate how humans consume marijuana. The offspring of those rats were then trained to press one of two levers, coming to understand eventually that the lever near a light gave them sugar. That was an easy rule to learn for both the cannabis-exposed rat offspring and for those not exposed to cannabis.

But then the rule changed. They got sugar if they chose only the left lever, regardless of where the light was. The rat offspring who had been prenatally exposed to high levels of cannabis “showed marked deficits in their ability to shift strategies when the new rule was implemented,” WSU researchers wrote.

It suggests a problem with cognitive flexibility, McLaughlin says. The rats had difficulty learning the new strategy, and it may negatively impact that cognitive flexibility in adulthood, Ryan McLaughlin researchers say.

The study was one of three new studies presented at the Society for Neuroscience annual meeting in early November. One, from Auburn University, found that pregnant mothers injected with a continuous dose of synthetic cannabis produced offspring that were significantly impaired in different memory tasks. Another, from the University of Maryland School of Medicine, found that rats exposed to THC in the womb also had memory impairments.

But McLaughlin notes that the experiences of rodents may not necessarily guarantee it carries over to humans.

“There’s a lot of opportunity for environmental variables,” he notes.

“So basically what we can really say is that maybe there might be deficits that emerge long term, but we need further research to validate it.” n

Pregnant rats, like pregnant humans, should probably lay off the weed for their kid’s sake.

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How one man’s quest to spread Christmas cheer led to a miserable four-year war with his neighborhood

By Daniel Walters

The 2015 Hayden Christmas Light Show, put on despite the ardent objections of the West Hayden Estates Homeowners Association. MARK ADDY PHOTO

W

hen Jeremy Morris smiles — or otherwise bares his teeth — you can see his braces: red on top, green on bottom, his pearly whites dressed in Christmas colors.

This is a man who named one of his sons Nicholas — as in St. Nicholas. This is a man who changes the name of his dog from “Ronald Reagan” to “Clarence” during the holidays. This is a man whose very first memory is of crawling on the floor while his dad demonstrated how to fix Christmas bulbs.

People today refer to Morris as Mr. Christmas and Clark Griswold. But that’s understating things.

Sure, in the Christmas Vacation movie, Clark Griswold decked out his house in 25,000 lights. But Morris used 200,000!

Besides, Griswold didn’t bring in a real camel named Dolly, or throw a five-day Christmas extravaganza with an antique cotton-candy machine, a professional mandolin player and volunteers dressed as Santa Claus, Rudolph, Frosty, Christmas elves, the Grinch and Clifford the Christmas Dog. And Griswold didn’t end up in a nearly four-yearlong legal nightmare with his neighbors.

This is what happens when a Christmas movie plot unfolds in North Idaho: It’s a story that involves armed “patriots,” secret recordings, Fox News, claims of anti-Christian bigotry, reports of vandalism, a lawsuit, a countersuit, depositions and even — a la Miracle on 34th Street — Santa Claus on the witness stand.

And, finally, a verdict: An Idaho jury unanimously concluded last month that Morris’s homeowners association had discriminated against his Christian religion.

To Morris, a 37-year-old attorney, this isn’t just a neighborly dispute. It’s spiritual warfare, good versus evil, the Christmas lights versus the darkness.

But Chuck Norlin, the current president of the West Hayden Estates Homeowners Association, is a Christian too, and he takes away a different lesson.

“The Bible says to love your neighbor as yourself,” Norlin says. “Jeremy Morris sued his neighborhood for $250,000 and then called us devil worshipers and antiChristians. … How would you judge that as his show being effective at showing Christianity?”

THE FIRST NOEL To Morris, that first Hayden Christmas Light Show, in his old Grouse Meadows neighborhood, was something like a Christmas miracle.

It was 2014, and he decided to go all out for Christmas. He’d been collecting lights for five years, preparing for the kind of over-the-top display that his family created for competitions when he was a kid in California.

He’d planned to invite his neighbors over to see his lights, have some cotton candy and hot chocolate and raise money for both the Children’s Village (a Coeur d’Alene crisis shelter for kids) and the Emmett Paul Snyders Foundation (a local organization to help families with cancer).

But within a few days, his Facebook page had 917 families planning to attend. So Morris scrambled. He called up a woman who owned a camel, recruited kids at Lakeland High School to sing Christmas songs and marshalled an army of volunteers from his church, Candlelight Christian Fellowship, to help out.

The festival lasted eight crazy nights. It raised thousands of dollars for kids with cancer.

“People came up to me, hugging me, saying, ‘Please do this again,’” Morris says.

That’s not to say that every neighbor loved it. The Spokesman-Review reported that Morris didn’t get the ...continued on next page

NOVEMBER 29, 2018 INLANDER 23

North Idaho

Before he became Mr. Christmas, Jeremy Morris made news for trying to ride a horse across the state of Louisiana to promote voting, despite his doctors warning him that injuries from a car accident made that a bad idea.

DANIEL WALTERS PHOTO

“CULTURE WAR CHRISTMAS,” CONTINUED... required city permits and that one of his neighbors complained to the city of Hayden about his bright lights.

Today, a few neighbors tell the Inlander about their frustrations over the lights, noise and congestion, and one claims attendees drove over grassy swales and blocked his driveway.

But to Morris, that first Christmas Light Show wasn’t just a success. It was a sign. God was telling him that putting on these kinds of Christmas shows was to be his ministry. And 2015, he decided, would be even bigger and better.

Just two days after Christmas, Morris and his wife go house hunting. He tells his real estate agent to find a place outside the city of Hayden, where he wouldn’t have to worry about getting permits for Christmas shows.

The very first day, Morris finds the house he wants, in a place called the West Hayden Estates.

According to Morris, he consults with lawyers to make sure that his planned Christmas Light Show wouldn’t break any of the rules in the subdivision’s neighborhood covenant. He calls Jennifer Scott, then president of the West Hayden Estates Homeowners Association, and gives her a heads up about the massive five-day Christmas bash he’d be bringing to their quiet neighborhood. He tells her that he considers it his ministry.

That’s when things get really ugly, really fast.

24 INLANDER NOVEMBER 29, 2018

GOLD, FRANKINCENSE AND MURDER THREATS It’s not exactly unusual for homeowners associations to nitpick about Christmas decorations. In the last three years alone, news stories have cropped up about HOAs clashing with homeowners over their decorations in Alabama, Nevada, Indiana, Florida, California, Arizona, Washington state, Pennsylvania and Missouri.

In that sense, the letter Jeremy Morris gets from the West Hayden Estates Homeowners Association in January of 2015 isn’t a surprise.

It says the board doesn’t want to discourage him from becoming part of their “great neighborhood,” but also warns him about the potential for “expensive litigation” if he holds his Christmas Light Show, citing neighborhood covenants regarding lighting, sound, traffic and property uses.

It also frets that the show could could fill the neighborhood with “hundreds of people and possible undesirables.”

(An earlier draft of the letter that Morris obtained as part of legal discovery is even meaner, warning about the

“riff-raff” Morris “seemed to attract over by WalMart” and concluding with the phrase, “we don’t allow ‘those kind’ in our neighborhood.”)

But it wasn’t the sneering at the poor that horrified Morris. It was another line: “I am somewhat hesitant in bringing up the fact that some of our residents are nonChristians or of another faith, and I don’t even want to think of the problems that could bring up.”

“Some of our residents are nonChristians or of another faith, and I don’t even want to think of the problems that could bring up.”

Chuck Norlin — who wasn’t a board member back then — interprets that line as trying to communicate inclusivity, showing that the HOA wanted to be considerate of the entire neighborhood. He says the full board hadn’t officially approved the letter before one of the board members sent it out.

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But to Morris and his wife? The takeaway right-wing fake news site, falsely claims that Morwas obvious: The HOA hated Christians. ris had been told to remove his Christmas display Morris grew up immersed in the religious to “avoid upsetting Muslims.” right. He attended the church of evangelical All the media coverage draws the attention Christian icon John MacArthur — author of the of a group aligned with the militia movement: MacArthur Study Bible. He and his wife were marTwo months before members of the heavily ried by Tony Perkins, president of the anti-gayarmed Three Percenters of Idaho drove to Burns, rights Family Research Council. The guy who Oregon — to offer their help to the Malheur told him to go to law school at Liberty UniverNational Wildlife Refuge occupiers — they show sity, the largest evangelical school in the country? up on Morris’s doorstep, offering their armed Jerry Falwell. protection if he needs it.

But the Morrises aren’t the only ones who A West Hayden Estates neighbor couple, thought the HOA was discriminating. His real esLarry and Kathy Bird, post angry comments on tate agent — who attends Morris’s Bible study — the Three Percenters of Idaho Facebook page. draws the same conclusion. So does his pastor at “Even before Mr. News Grabber moved in Candlelight and the West Hayden Estates couple here, he was threatening lawsuits because of who are about to sell him their home. his display coming under attack. Great way to So at a tense meeting at a Caffe Capri in introduce yourself into a new neighborhood, Hayden, Morris offers the board an ultimatum: right?” the Birds write. “This guy claims to be a De-annex his house from the HOA — freeing Christian conservative. The crap he’s pulling is him from its oversight — and he would agree to what a liberal Democrat would pull.” not pursue legal action. Yes, the neighborhood The fight isn’t just on Facebook. Russell covenants require three-fourths of his neighbors Deming, one of Morris’s friends, says he witto agree to boot him from the HOA, but Morris nesses Larry Bird marching down Ferndale Drive wants the board to convince them. to confront Morris over the Three Percenters.

Instead, in February 2015, the HOA board sends out a message to the other 48 homes of West Hayden Estates, warning them Morris was threatening “legal action” if they did not approve his holiday light show.

Morris fires off own rebuttal letter to the neighborhood, accusing the board of lying in its letter and arguing it had violated the Fair Housing Act by discriminating against him.

All this before he even gets his house keys. His wife, Kristy, doesn’t want to move in at all.

“Would neighbors damage our property because we are obviously Christians?” she writes Dolly the Camel, not to be confused with Dolly the neighbor. MARK ADDY PHOTO in a court document. “I want to raise my family in a peaceful and safe area, not Deming says he remembers Bird telling Morwhere my family feels vulnerable or attacked.” ris about how he’s “‘got plenty of guns, too’” and Morris’s pastor, Paul Van Noy, also discourthat “‘if he needed to, he’d come and take care of ages him from moving in, concerned about the Jeremy himself.’” impact on Morris’s family. But Morris won’t Morris records the tail end of the argument budge. To him, it’s a matter of principle. So in on video, as his wife confronts Bird over his March, he and his wife move into a neighborapparent threat to “take care of him,” and Bird hood that has already begun to resent them. appears to backtrack.

For months it’s quiet. But finally, in Octo“I didn’t threaten you nothin’,” Bird says on ber — after he finishes putting up his Christmas the video. “I may come over and offer him a hug. lights — he gets a letter from the HOA’s attorney That’s how I’ll take care of him. And you just claiming his Christmas show would be “be offenkeep taping and filming. Typical shit.” sive to the senses,” congest traffic and violate the Deming isn’t worried. Bird is an old man. neighborhood’s covenants. The letter threatens “I never considered it to be a legitimate death litigation and gives him 10 days to respond. threat,” Deming tells the Inlander. (Bird declined Morris responds with a single word: “Nuts.” to be interviewed by the Inlander.)

And then he calls in the artillery. He sends an But Morris takes it seriously. email to national media outlets. Fox News, which “Larry Bird,” he later tells a federal judge, had been beating the “War on Christmas” drum “threatened to murder me in front of my family, for a decade, laps it up. threatened in explicit detail about things that “It seems to me the homeowners associacould be done.” tion has a legitimate concern about crowds and traffic and livestock,” right-wing Fox pundit Todd It’s the month before Christmas in 2015, and Starnes opines. “But I suspect this has more to do the skies themselves are angry: Around 80 West with Christianity than camels.”

Hayden neighbors are packed into a garage Soon, it’s not just Fox. It’s Salon, the Asfor a homeowners meeting, buffeted by one of sociated Press and Christianity Today. Local TV ...continued on next page networks send out news vans. “UFP News,” a

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North Idaho “CULTURE WAR CHRISTMAS,” CONTINUED... the most devastating windstorms to ever hit the Inland Northwest.

“The wind is pounding, everything is shaking,” Morris recalls. “The lights are flickering, they’re going out.”

“Mr. Morris, you’re an ass.

And if you don’t like it here, get the hell out.”

An elderly neighbor starts hitting the cement floor in the garage with his cane.

“Mr. Morris, you’re an ass,” he proclaims, as it was later recounted in court documents. “And if you don’t like it here, get the hell out.”

It’s not just the old man with the cane, Morris says: One by one, he recounts, dozens of other neighbors speak out against Morris and his show. He believes the HOA board poisoned his neighborhood against him.

In an affidavit, one of Morris’s few allies in the neighborhood, Angelene Cox, agrees with that assessment: She calls the HOA board “vigilantes,” testifying that some neighbors openly referred to Morris as “the enemy.”

Some Christians might have seen all the anger as a sign that God actually didn’t want Morris to hold this event. Instead, after intense prayer, he drew the opposite conclusion: That his faith was being tested and he should hold strong.

Robert Wilson, who played Santa Claus at the Christmas Light Show, also played an integral role in Morris’s federal lawsuit.

When he was a kid, he says, he heard the Bible story of the Jews who braved the flames of a Babylonian furnace rather than bow down before an idol — and asked himself if he would have that same sort of courage.

“I wanted to have the faith of a martyr,” he says.

He doesn’t leave. The HOA withdraws its lawsuit threat. The 2015 Hayden Christmas Light Show pro-

MARK ADDY PHOTO

ceeds.

While Morris had immediately declined the Three Percenters of Idaho offer, he does decide to pay former law enforcement officers, armed and undercover, to patrol his show.

“There were more guns in front of this street than you would ever believe,” he later tells a neighbor.

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Ultimately, the guards aren’t needed. For two hours for five nights, Morris’s house glows a brilliant white.

“Look at all the people you made happy,” a visitor tells Morris, as he pans his camera to show the camel and the donkey and the assembled crowd.

For Morris, it’s bittersweet. His wife isn’t there: With all the threats and media attention, she chose to stay at her mom’s house in Virginia rather than attend the Christmas Light Show.

In February 2016, the board sends out a Happy New Year’s letter passing along complaints about Morris’s show, including littering, a crushed culvert pipe, impeded traffic and “children urinating on bushes and in the snow.”

Morris is furious — again threatening a lawsuit if his house isn’t de-annexed. Even if he still has to pay the equivalent of HOA dues, he says, he just wants to be free.

He ups the ante for his 2016 show. Somebody from San Francisco donates 10 miles of Christmas lights. He brings in a crane to put them up and installs a separate 400-amp electrical panel to keep them powered. The more lights, he reasons, the more visitors, the more powerful his ministry.

Costume designers turn donated upholstery into 23 new outfits. Volunteers plan to dress up as Roman centurions to collect “taxes” — voluntary donations — for the two charities.

But while Morris hasn’t given up the fight, neither have some of his neighbors. When the 2016 show launches, next-door neighbor Kimberly Deschryver stands in her lawn and holds a decibel meter measuring the Christmas Light Show’s “Rockin’ around the Christmas Tree” at around 75 decibels — about as loud as a vacuum cleaner. She videotapes a line of cars backed up

Jeremy and Kristy Morris at the 2014 Hayden Christmas Light Show, at their old neighborhood. behind buses dropping off passengers.

“If there’s an emergency, this is what we’re concerned about,” Deschryver narrates.

Meanwhile, Blaine Svetich, owner of Coeur d’Alene Transportation, is driving a bus for the event when he spots somebody pushing a snowblower toward his bus and somebody else videotaping. He thinks they’re trying to stage a fake accident or a near-miss for the camera.

“Somebody is going to get hurt,” Svetich remembers worrying. “I don’t know what game they’re playing here, but these are big buses.”

Each year, Morris says, he heard from visitors who said they’d been harassed or yelled at or cussed out by his neighbors for parking on the street.

To Morris, it all suggested a campaign of harassment.

So with the statute of limitations about to expire in January of 2017, Morris makes good on his years of litigation threats: He sues the HOA under the Fair Housing Act, demanding $250,000 in punitive damages, on top of

damages for “shock, humiliation, embarrassment, inconvenience, and economic loss” his family incurred.

When the news of his lawsuit breaks, Morris gets a Facebook message from a stranger warning him, “I would watch my back and your family’s back. Be a bummer if something happened.”

The resulting sheriff’s report says Morris was “so fearful he was loading his assault rifle and was going to keep it near him at all times.”

In March of 2017, he calls law enforcement again, accusing an unknown neighbor of ripping Christmas lights off one of his trees.

When Christmas of 2017 rolls around, in the midst of his lawsuit, his house remains dark. It’s not that he’s given up, he says. He’s just worried that because of a stunt gone wrong or intentional violence, somebody could get hurt. He says he keeps his kids inside because of the threats.

But that fear goes both ways.

“There are people who clearly wonder if, at some point, Jeremy Morris is going to come completely unhinged and come out and damage somebody,” Norlin says.

...AND GOODWILL TOWARD MEN There was a moment, just before the 2015 Hayden Light Show in his new neighborhood, when Morris and his wife considered giving up. He was on the edge of a nervous breakdown, he recalls. His security experts had recommended he cancel his program.

“He was about ready to throw in the towel,” recalls Morris’s friend Brent Regan, the mustachioed conservative who BuzzFeed calls the “godfather of North Idaho politics.” ...continued on next page

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North Idaho

Big crowds sing by candlelight outside Jeremy Morris’s house in 2015.

MARK ADDY PHOTO

“CULTURE WAR CHRISTMAS,” CONTINUED...

But Regan explained to Morris that he needed to do this as a man. He says if he didn’t, he’d question himself for the rest of his life.

“I told him that bullies are basically just cowards,” Regan says.

“If you are approached by a bully, then you’ve got to turn around and go toe-to-toe with them.”

For Morris, that metaphor hit particularly hard. As an adolescent, whenever bullies challenged Morris to fight them, he would agree to meet them after school. He’d get the snot beat out of him — he was hospitalized on three different occasions, he says — but he never wanted to look weak.

And then he finally won one: He pulled a bully’s sweater over his head, kicked him in the shins with his steel-toed boots, and then kicked him a few more times when he dropped to the ground. The bullying stopped a little after that, he says.

That’s the Jeremy Morris way: Stand up to bullies. Never turn down a fight. Kick them with steel-toed boots.

After all, his Christmas show battle isn’t the only fight Morris has charged into the last few years. He sued over the security deposit at the home where he held his first Christmas show in 2014. He joined a lawsuit arguing the state’s standardized test violated the 10th Amendment. He was involved with a 2013 stunt that tried to trick Coeur d’Alene council candidates by sending them deceptive emails, pretending to be progressives asking about prayer at public meetings.

Last year, a Coeur d’Alene school board member made some comments in favor of removing Confederate symbols, and pretty soon Morris was standing out front of a school board meeting with a fake book-burning bonfire prop and a bullhorn, waving an American flag and proclaiming that “Bolsheviks have taken over the school board.”

No, Morris’s Christianity isn’t why so many of his neighbors dislike him, argues Norlin, the HOA president. It’s all the hostility, the intimidation, the hair-trigger threats to drop “atomic blast” lawsuits and “bring hell” to the neighborhood.

“He didn’t come in there with an eagle feather,” Norlin says. “He

28 INLANDER NOVEMBER 29, 2018

came in there with a bulldozer.”

To some of his neighbors, it’s Morris who’s the bully. During depositions, Morris, then representing himself, interrogates former HOA President Jennifer Scott, under oath, over whether he was ever a bully to her.

And Scott tells Morris that, yes, he was. Sometimes he could be nice to her, she says, but at times he was furious, threatening to take the HOA for everything it had.

“You could go on for a long time on the phone… upset and yelling,” Scott says. “And I felt very intimidated and scared. I mean, many times I cried on the phone with you.”

When I tell Morris the deposition with Scott will be referenced in this article, he has a warning: “You paint me in a false light, and you will face a lawsuit.”

He points out all the times that he was nice to Scott. He says that her “fake bullying lie” is contradicted by text messages and his secret recordings.

Morris has been covertly recording his conversations with his neighbors for years. He’s proud of it. It’s legal in Idaho. He uses these recordings to accuse his neighbors of being liars, of committing perjury, and of agreeing with him that the HOA was being discriminatory.

Morris plays me the greatest-hits compilation of neighborhood recording snippets on iTunes. It closes with Ron Taylor, the HOA president in 2016, agreeing that the HOA covenant restrictions on external lighting don’t apply to Christmas lights.

“So why did they come after me?” Morris asks.

“It’s because somebody in this association doesn’t like Christmas,” Taylor says.

“Boom!” Morris says on the recording.

But the full 47-minute recording of Morris’s conversation with Taylor, obtained by the Inlander, shows what the West Hayden Estates neighborhood had been dealing with.

In that recording, Morris interrogates Taylor about where his

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Daniel Walters, born and raised in Spokane, has been writing for the Inlander since 2008. In that time, he’s conducted investigations into the alt-right, online bullying and the internal struggles of the local Democratic and Republican parties. He’s also written essays about his struggles with cooking, his evangelical parents’ rejection of Donald Trump and about how “O! Holy Night” is the only good Christmas song. He can be reached at danielw@inlander.com or 509325-0634 ext. 263.

letters to the editor Send comments to editor@inlander.com.

dog pees, gloats about all the media attention (“Guess who wants me on their show?!”) and thunders that “I am going to cause this neighborhood so many problems” unless the HOA de-annexes his house.

Taylor calls Morris a “f---ing bully.” But that doesn’t stop Morris from threatening to sue every homeowner who violates even minor neighborhood covenant rules.

“It’s going to be, like, every spring when the flowers start coming up, someone else in this neighborhood is getting a lawsuit,” Morris says.

Specifically, he says he’s coming for Dolly — his 80-year-old neighbor, not the camel — and her little dogs, too. She has three dogs when the neighborhood rules limit her to two.

“This woman, who thinks she can come after me in the way that she has, is in open violation of the rules!” Morris yells on the recording. “So the question is, what dog are we going to take? What dog are we taking from Dolly? … The little white one is the one I want.”

Morris tells the Inlander he wants to run for public office — most likely the state Legislature — on a platform of HOA reform, making it easier for bad HOAs to be disbanded.

But the irony is that, according to Norlin, all of Morris’s lawsuit threats have made the West Hayden neighborhood more afraid of violating all the HOA rules, lest they draw Morris’s legal wrath.

“You live your life wondering about, every day … is my garbage can too far out in the street? Should I take that decoration down?” Norlin says. “People live on pins and needles because of Jeremy Morris.”

THE SANTA SUIT Robert Wilson doesn’t dress in his costume during the federal trial held in October, but his big bowl-full-of-jelly belly and long white beard make it clear exactly who the 68-year-old is. Wilson has been playing Santa Claus since he was 22, when his Army captain tossed him a red suit and a fake beard 30 miles from the Korean demilitarized zone.

Wilson tells the jury he didn’t notice much traffic or much noise at Morris’s event. Back in 1998 when he was living in Illinois, Wilson tells the jury, he himself won a citywide Christmas lighting contest with a display that was much brasher than Morris’s in Hayden.

“Jeremy’s light was nowhere close to that,” he says.

And then Morris’s lawyer asks Wilson about the little candy canes he passed out to the kids. The canes had a message attached, an apocryphal story about how the red in the candy cane stood for Jesus’s blood, the white for his purity, and the “J” shape for Jesus’s name.

It’s important, because Morris needs to prove that this was integral to his faith. He needs to prove he was discriminated against because of his religion.

Legally, the language of the Fair Housing Act doesn’t consider discrimination against one race or religion more serious than the other.

“You could have a discrimination case with somebody who was Christian or who was white if it could be shown that was the basis of the decision,” says Jose Trejo, attorney for the Northwest Justice Project in Spokane.

Morris doesn’t just argue that anti-Christian sentiment drove the HOA opposition to the Christmas Light Show, he argues that anyone who claims they were genuinely inconvenienced by the show itself is a “liar.”

The HOA claims you can’t put up decorations without permission? Well, Morris says, what about all those

“If anyone doubts that the War on Christmas — or as I like to call it, the ‘War on Christians’ — is real in this country, they can just look to my case for proof of that,” Morris said on Fox & Friends on Sunday.

Halloween decorations? The HOA complains about his camel? Well, what about the ponies at neighborhood birthday parties? The HOA has complaints about noise or lights or disruption? Here’s a video of illegal fireworks booming across the subdivision during the Fourth of July.

But the HOA attorneys argue that a five-day party featuring a constant stream of buses shuttling thousands of people on a narrow neighborhood street is different than a Fourth of July show. The neighborhood covenants, they point out, include a broad rule against “nuisances” — anything that could interfere with the “quiet enjoyment” of any homeowners.

The jury doesn’t buy it. The jury unanimously concludes that the HOA discriminated against the Morris family, in part because of his religion, both before and after they purchased their home. It agrees that the HOA intimidated, threatened or interfered with Morris’s home purchase, and expressed a preference for a nonreligious individual. The jury awards Morris $75,000.

“ You live your life wondering about, every day … is my garbage can too far out in the street? Should I take that decoration down?”

The war isn’t quite over: The homeowners association attorneys have asked the judge to rule on whether the Morris’s Christmas program violates the neighborhood covenants. They’ve also asked him to take the extremely rare step of overruling the jury.

But, for now, Morris has won.

“I can now walk away from this knowing that I did not let my God down,” Morris says.

THE TRUE MEANING OF CHRISTMAS There are times when Morris filters his story through the lens of a Christmas special. From memory, he recites the first eight lines of How the Grinch Stole Christmas to talk about how his neighbors’ hearts were two sizes too small.

He edits a picture of him and his friends into the climax of It’s a Wonderful Life.

But Morris also filters his experience through another story: The book of Exodus. He thinks that God may

have hardened the hearts of the homeowners association — like he did with Pharaoh’s refusal to let the Israelites go amid the plagues of Egypt — for God’s greater glory.

“Sometimes God wants to show a great work,” he says, “a miracle, a parting of the Red Sea.” And now he’s heading for his promised land. He won’t be holding another Christmas Light Show in the West Hayden Estates. Instead, he wants to move to a big stretch of private property where he can build “New Bethlehem,” an entire Christmas nativity village of shops and actors.

“Through all the strife that my family endured, in the end I know that God’s name was lifted up,” Morris says. “And now there’s a federal court precedent that will protect other Christians.”

This past Sunday, Morris appeared on Fox & Friends, where the chyron proclaims “HOMEOWNER WINS WAR ON CHRISTMAS.” Yet even among evangelical Christians, there’s disagreement over whether fights over nativity scenes, Christmas trees and holiday lighting displays actually lift up their faith. Morris’s childhood pastor — John MacArthur — penned a Washington Times op-ed in 2012 arguing that focusing on the “so-called war on Christmas” was a distraction, that there was “nothing sacred about Christmas decorations.”

“Secularists who can’t stand the sight of a Christmas tree pose no real threat to the church or her mission,” MacArthur wrote.

Meanwhile, Morris’s current pastor, Van Noy, says that when Morris’s faith was under attack, he had no choice but to take a stand. But you also have Christians like Norlin, who argue that God wants people to be gentle and kind, to seek peace, not go to war with a neighborhood.

The Christmas movie version of this saga, of course, would end with both Morris and the HOA delivering a neat little Christmas lesson. The spirit of Christmas isn’t about camels or candy canes. It’s about love and generosity. Having a great neighborhood isn’t about tidy lawns or trimmed hedges. It’s about living in harmony, cherishing even the neighbors who sometimes drive you crazy.

And then they would all stand out on Morris’s lawn and shut off the lights, allowing the stars of North Idaho to shine down past the falling snow.

One star would shine brighter than the others.

But Morris? He likes the ending he got. The jury unanimous. The homeowners association punished. His fight vindicated.

“I think that’s a beautiful ending,” he says. n

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PREVIOUSLY…

Miller Cane, on the road with a doll-making 8-year-old girl named Carleen, stops in the tiny town of Edison, on the coast of Washington, at the house of friends Mickey and Grace. Miller’s been taking care of Carleen while her mother, Lizzie, is stuck in jail for shooting her estranged husband, Connor. Carleen is adjusting, and so is Miller, who, until recently, had made his living comforting and conning the survivors of mass shootings. Now he’s thinking of traveling America with Carleen — anything to keep her away from Connor. Tomorrow he’ll grab Carleen’s beloved cat Waffles for the trip. Tonight, he’s making pie.

CHAPTER 3, PART 3

T

hat night did not get any worse than the day of crying in the motorhome, except for Carleen finding a new favorite song in “Puff the Magic Dragon.” Why would Mickey play such an awful song, let alone enough times for Carleen to fall in love with it and learn several verses? Mickey made a Torta Rustica based on the one at Tweet’s in Edison, and after dinner they drank wine around the fire pit in back. Mickey brought out his Gibson and Miller pulled his old Guild from the moho’s side storage compartment and Grace sang every Lucinda song they could play while Carleen worked on a new doll, and then they played gospel songs, “Jesus on the Mainline,” “The Everlasting Arm,” “No Hiding Place,” and when they finally took a break, Grace said she wanted Miller to teach her how to make pie again.

“Tonight?” Miller said, and Grace said, “Right now.”

ABOUT THIS PROJECT

Miller Cane: A True and Exact History, a new novel by Samuel Ligon, is being published for the first time in the pages of the Inlander.

The latest installments of the book will always appear in print first, then on the web the following Wednesday MADE POSSIBLE BY and then on Spokane Public Radio, which is broadcasting audio versions of each installment.

Visit MillerCane.Inlander.com for more details.

“Miller’s the best pie maker in the world,” Carleen said.

“Better than your mom?” Mickey said, sending a panic through Miller. But Carleen was unfazed. “I’m better than my mom,” she said, and Miller said, “It’s true — Carleen’s a pie lady and she’s not even nine.”

“Do you want to teach me?”

Grace asked Carleen.

“I want to work on my doll,” Carleen said, “out here with Mickey.”

Grace led Miller inside, where he taught her how to make crust again, working the butter into the flour with her hands, measuring the water by feel, and handling the dough as little as possible. They each made a two crust batch, and while the dough cooled, Grace poured them a single malt to drink at the kitchen island.

Miller pulled blackberries and sour cherries from the freezer.

“I saw Georgie in town last week,” Grace said.

Why wouldn’t the past go away was what Miller wanted to know. And why would people pursue it on Facebook or whatever social media nightmare was currently sweeping the nation. Didn’t we leave people behind for good reasons? Why did we have to keep resurrecting them?

Grace wanted to make a lattice top for the cherry pie.

Outside, Mickey started “Puff the Magic Dragon” again.

“She seemed good,” Grace said, “peaceful,” and Miller said, “That’s good,” and Grace said, “When was

the last time you saw her?”

What difference did that make? “I don’t know,” Miller said.

Why wouldn’t the past go away was what Miller wanted to know. And why would people pursue it on Facebook or whatever social media nightmare was currently sweeping the nation. Didn’t we leave people behind for good reasons?

“She had two kids with her,” Grace said.

So that was it.

“A girl, maybe five, and a toddler, a boy. Beautiful kids.”

“Nice,” Miller said. And it was. She deserved it.

Everyone deserved it.

“Those kids aren’t mine,” he said, and Grace said, “I realize that.”

Miller checked the dough in the fridge. It was still too soft to roll.

“But I see how you are with Carleen,” Grace said.

None of this was Grace’s business. But he knew how much she loved kids, how she couldn’t have them, and how much money she and Mickey had spent on in vitro, until they finally gave up on it last year. They could still adopt.

“I was happy for her,” Grace said. “She seemed happy, too.”

Georgie had wanted children when she and Miller got married, that was part of the deal. Miller wanted them, too, or at least didn’t not want them. His nephew Billy was only twelve years younger than him, almost like a cousin, but when the shooting went down in Massachusetts and Charles and ...continued on next page

NOVEMBER 29, 2018 INLANDER 31

MILLER CANE: A TRUE AND EXACT HISTORY THE STORY

 Chapter 3, Part 3 continued...

Billy died, plus 14 of Billy’s classmates, Miller needed some time to grieve, to mourn or rage or whatever, and Georgie understood. She was patient. She needed to grieve, too. But a year passed and then another, and maybe having a baby would help Miller, Georgie said, would help her, too. But he didn’t want a baby anymore. And he didn’t want Georgie. It wasn’t fair. He wasn’t cruel to her in any way, but she wouldn’t stop wanting that baby. It wasn’t her fault. It wasn’t his fault. She left him, left Spokane and moved to Seattle. He encouraged her. It was best for everyone. That was almost ten years ago.

The Sunny Day Massacre was fifteen. They never should have gotten married in the first place. That was the problem. Miller had never loved her enough.

Carleen exploded into the house and ran to the bathroom. They could hear her humming “Puff the Magic Dragon” from behind the closed door.

The dough was ready to roll. Carleen exploded out of the bathroom and back outside.

“Play it again,” she said to Mickey, and he played it again.

“How about you roll this,” Miller said to Grace, “to get some practice.”

But Grace had no talent for rolling.

“Puff no longer went to play along the cherry lane,” Mickey sang.

How did he know so much of this ridiculous song?

Miller helped Grace rotate the crust with a pastry scraper.

“Use more flour,” he said.

Grace kept trying, smashing the dough with her pin.

“In a land called Honahlee,” Carleen sang.

32 INLANDER NOVEMBER 29, 2018

“What are you going to do with her?” Grace said, and Miller didn’t say anything.

“Just drive her around?”

“Maybe,” Miller said.

The less Grace knew about it the better, not that Miller knew so much. Spokane. Walla Walla. Missouri. Maybe the Little Bighorn along the way.

Grace knew what had gone down with Connor, how he’d shown up out of the blue in Mount Vernon until Lizzie shot him but hardly hurt him. Miller would learn more tomorrow.

He helped Grace fold the crust and cut the lattice for the top.

“It’s not too late,” she said, and Miller said, “For what?”

“For kids,” Grace said, “for you.”

“Who said it was?”

“The way you look at her,” Grace said, “she could practically be your daughter.”

“Right,” Miller said, showing Grace how to weave the lattice.

He knew all about that. And while he and Lizzie had never talked about it, they both knew that Carleen could indeed be his.

Lizzie had spent a month with him in Port Townsend before she went back to the idiot. Not that it mattered to Miller, really, the blood.

Carleen exploded into the kitchen again. “Are we sleeping in the moho, tonight?” she said, and Miller said, “Yes,” and Carleen said, “Finally,” and Grace slid her pie into the oven. n

MILLER CANE CONTINUES IN NEXT WEEK’S INLANDER

iHeartMedia_HolidayFavorites_112918_10H_KS.tif

A fraudulent historian who makes his living conning the survivors of mass shootings returns home to save the young daughter of the woman he loves, taking her with him on his roadshow across the worn-out heart of America, staying one step ahead of what’s after them.

THE MAIN CHARACTERS

Miller Cane: A fraudulent historian, who’s lately been making his living conning and comforting the survivors of mass shootings.

Carleen Callahan: The eight-year old doll-making daughter of Lizzie James and Connor Callahan. Has no idea she’s recently become an heiress or that her mother has shot her father. Has no idea that her father is after her, or what her father looks like.

On the road with Miller Cane.

Lizzie James: An artisan jewelry maker, and a baker at the Mount Vernon co-op, currently in Skagit County jail for shooting her estranged husband, Connor. Has asked Miller to hide Carleen.

Connor Callahan: Son and grandson and great grandson of money, which somehow skipped him, going to his daughter instead, who he hasn’t seen since she was a baby.

Her-story BOOKS

Spokane author Sherry Jones finds inspiration in kick-ass women from the past

BY MICHAELA MULLIGAN

S

herry Jones loves to stand up to The Man. It’s a recurring theme in her life, and in the life of the main character in Jones’ new historical novel Josephine Baker’s Last Dance.

Jazz music fills the background as light filters through the windows of Jones’ West Central kitchen. A largerthan-life painted portrait hangs in her living room, a gift from her best friend who painted it from memory. A rambunctious chocolate lab, her daughter’s dog, can’t resist the excitement of a new visitor as Jones discusses her new work, and the long road that turned her into an author.

“I continue to challenge authority in my work, which was always important to me,” Jones says.

Her mission to question the status quo comes in many forms — her historical novels, her past as a newspaper reporter, and her more recent involvement with Spokane-area National Organization for Women.

As an Air Force brat, Jones moved often while growing up, finding a home as a teen in rural Kinston, North Carolina. By 18 she was already working for the local newspaper in Kinston as a reporter. A longing to live in a big city drove Jones to Philadelphia. There, her journalism career was jump-started with political and investigative reporting assignments.

After following a guy to Montana, Jones worked for the Missoulian and freelanced. She never went to journalism school, instead learning the trade from “the school of hard knocks,” as she says. However, she still wanted a college degree. Through the creative writing program at University of Montana, Jones emerged as a novelist.

J

ones’ first novel, The Jewel of Medina, was inspired by an essay she heard on NPR shortly after 9/11 about a Muslim woman who renounced her faith due to Islamic extremism and the misogyny that comes with it.

Jones found that grounding a fictional tale in real history gave her an avenue to connect with readers that was different from either pure fiction or nonfiction. She’s especially interested in making sure women in 2018 don’t forget the struggles and progress made by women in the past. ...continued on next page

Before Sherry Jones wrote novels, she wrote for newspapers. YOUNG KWAK PHOTO

NOVEMBER 29, 2018 INLANDER 33

CULTURE | BOOKS “HER-STORY,” CONTINUED...

“By choosing women from history to portray, I can help readers make connections between the past and the present and see what has changed and what has not — which unfortunately is mostly everything,” Jones says.

The Jewel of Medina began as a project for her honors thesis and then morphed into a book everyone was talking about. Well, ranting about. The novel is told from the point of view of Aisha, one of the wives of the Islamic prophet Muhammed, with a feminist spin. A scathing review from an academic expert on Aisha caused Random House to drop plans to publish the book.

Then came the bombing.

A publisher in the United Kingdom picked up the novel only to be met with firebombs by a small group angered by the book.

“It was a really trying time, but on the other hand it was exhilarating because the controversy made the book so well-known and I had book publishers around the world who published it,” Jones says.

A

things, despite all the factors stacked against them.

All it takes is one event that catches Jones’ interest and that becomes the opening scene in her book.

“Once I get the spark of inspiration, then I become obsessed with telling the story.”

F

midst the chaos surrounding her first book, Jones moved to Spokane in 2007 to be closer to her daughter. Eleven years later, she is still integrating herself into the community.

“I love the burgeoning arts scene here and I’m trying to be more a part of that,” Jones says. “I’ve been so held up with my book for four years that I have not been very active in the arts community, but I’ve been trying to turn that around.”

“By choosing women from history to portray, I can help readers make connections between the past and the present.”

A sense of optimism in the city has kept Jones here, with the belief that one person can truly make a difference. She’s put this to the test by helping found the Spokane-area chapter of the National Organization for Women. And Jones continues to use her reporting skills and instincts in her historical fiction — skills such as finding sources, researching information and maintaining the mindset to continue writing over a long period of time.

The hunt for a new story begins with biographies.

She reads a few and sometimes decides she doesn’t want to write about that person. She’s driven by a love to get inside the heads of women who have achieved great

or the past four years, Jones delved into the life and story of Josephine Baker, an American performer who made it big in Paris, for her new novel Josephine Baker’s Last Dance. At first she thought it was going to be a lighthearted story about the glittery jazz age LETTERS of the 1920s in Send comments to Paris, but she editor@inlander.com. came to find a deeper theme.

“As I researched, I came to understand how much race defined Josephine Baker’s life,” Jones says.

She traveled to Baker’s childhood hometown of St. Louis. She talked with one of Josephine Baker’s adopted children. She read 10 biographies of her. Competing narratives and outlandish stories made it difficult for Jones to pin down the truth in Baker’s life story.

“When you have more than one version of history to choose from, I think you end up choosing the one that fits into your narrative and supports your themes and your thesis,” Jones says.

Jones believes that women of the past can teach women of today to achieve their own highest potential and to find their own power and strength. Baker was a performer — and also a World War II spy for the French Resistance, a pilot, a civil rights activist and a mother to 12 adopted children. The challenges of being a woman of color in the early to mid-20th century did not stop her.

“Her work for the French Resistance was in part inspired by her hate for the Nazis and the racism she experienced,” Jones says. “Before she was recruited to do that she was already flying for the Red Cross and she was a pilot. She got her pilot’s license, she was so kick-ass.”

Jones feels Josephine Baker is such a compelling character that it’s hard to decide who her next novel will be about. It will be hard to top a story as full and inspiring as Baker’s.

“She remained true to her ideals throughout her life,” Jones says. “She used her fame as a platform to promote racial equality, and she never let naysayers convince her to do otherwise. She sacrificed everything, even her

home, to her ideals, and still emerged victorious. She was also one of the most talented, charismatic, and hardworking people who ever lived.”

Beyond being a good read, Jones wants her book to contribute to the ongoing conversation about racism in America. She hopes readers will see that by acknowledging the racism of the past that affected Baker, we can work towards a more equitable and just society.

“I hope this book will awaken other people the way I have been awakened.” n Release party for Sherry Jones’ Josephine Baker’s Last Dance • Fri, Dec. 7, from 6-10 pm, includes music, Charleston lessons and readings from the book • 1507 E. Sprague • Facebook: Launch Party for Josephine Baker’s Last Dance

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CULTURE | DIGEST

SWITCH OFF Since I cut the cable cord, my life has been sorely lacking in cheesy seasonal flicks. So, when I heard about The Princess Switch on Netflix, I was hoping it would fall into that “so bad it’s good” realm that goes so well with lazy nights and whiskey chasers.

It’s bad alright, as Vanessa Hudgens travels to a fictional land for a cooking competition only to meet a lookalike princess and, well, shenanigans ensue. I won’t spoil it here, but I will say you can probably find about 3,000 better uses of your time than two hours watching The Princess Switch. On the upside, it did inspire a funny column on the Ringer called “45 Important Questions About The Princess Switch.” (DAN NAILEN)

O, Tannenbaum

I

BY CHEY SCOTT

n my family’s household, there’s always been a rule: The Christmas tree can’t go up any earlier than the day after Thanksgiving, and has to be packed away before New Year’s Day. I’ve broken that rule twice now.

Almost two weeks ago, I assembled and decorated the artificial tree at the home my partner and I share.

Again I plan to wait until well past Jan. 1 to box it all back up.

As the herald of my own holiday celebration, I’ve adopted a new mindset. There’s no need for self-restrictions on one of the most joyful holiday traditions. (Plus, no one’s stopping me.)

THE BUZZ BIN

THIS WEEK’S PLAYLIST Some noteworthy new music arrives online and in stores Nov. 30. To wit: JEFF TWEEDY, Warm. The Wilco frontman played a bunch of these songs at his October show at the Bing.

THE 1975, A Brief Inquiry Into Online Relationships.

They’re back, trying to follow up their No. 1 album I Like It When You Sleep, For You Are So Beautiful Yet So Unaware of It. Give them credit for at least shortening their album titles.

MEEK MILL, Championships. The Philly rapper’s first album since his high-profile prison release, just in time for Christmas. (DAN NAILEN)

See, I’m hopelessly sentimental for my ornament collection and how they sparkle and shine when carefully arranged amongst the twinkling branches. Packing each piece up in tissue at the end of the season brings an anxious feeling of remorse; it’s a dreaded parting.

The stories and connections assigned to each ornament are layers of happy nostalgia displayed in physical form. I’m eager for their return, and in no hurry to see them go.

A little wooden snowman with crossed eyes and red nose was an early favorite, and remains so. Completely obsessed with Frosty’s brethren for as long as I can remember, this little hand-painted guy became “my” snowman. I’d do the honors of finding a front-andcenter spot to hang him each year.

Inside half of a walnut shell, Santa jollily greets a centimeter-tall Pinocchio. On a puff of cotton snow in front of them sits a tiny brown teddy bear. Framed in silver thread, with a backdrop of silky midnight sky, this scene in miniature was lovingly crafted by my late paternal grandmother, a talented creator who made every childhood Christmas magical.

I fully admit to my weakness for Hallmark’s manufactured holiday sentimentalism, which led me to purchase what may be the happiest and sweetest snowman charm of all. This little knitted guy, with a tinsel halo and tiny measuring cup base, symbolizes both my fondness for snowmen and love of holiday baking.

Our family has always considered two vintage shoe boxes filled with faceted red balls (and a few midcentury Santas) the figurative icing on our tree. They always go on last. These now-treasured heirlooms, once forgotten in the dusty attic of a South Perry rental home, were discovered and reclaimed by my mom in the early 1970s.

They still sparkle and shine so bright. n

I HOPE YOU HAD THE SLIME OF YOUR LIFE Everyone, of course, knows about slimes, those blobby, bouncy enemies on the first levels of countless video game RPG dungeons. But the indie game Slime Rancher understands that slimes have a higher purpose than being murdered by adventurers: Being the products of factory farming. But be forewarned: Only when you use your vacuum gun to fire a barrage of chickens at a giant kitty-cat slime can you truly understand Slime Rancher. (DANIEL WALTERS)

224.6

MILLION That’s how many views the trailer for Disney’s upcoming remake of The Lion King scored in the 24 hours following its online debut on Thanksgiving. The only trailer to beat it in clicks is Avengers: Infinity War, which racked up 230 million views in a day last year. The upcoming film, featuring an all-star voice cast headed by Donald Glover and Beyoncé, won’t hit theaters until July. In the meantime, the touring Broadway production of The Lion King takes over the First Interstate Center for the Arts beginning Jan. 23. (NATHAN WEINBENDER)

LOCKED UP MOTHERS While following a group of Bronx-based attorneys who travel to Oklahoma to aid incarcerated women, New Yorker staff writer Sarah Stillman lifts the curtain on draconian and misogynistic legal practices in the state that result in high numbers of poor mothers getting locked up and separated from their children.

Her gripping report documents astonishing scenarios like a Tulsa woman sentenced to 30 years in prison for failing to “protect” her children after her infant daughter suffered horrific physical abuse from her boyfriend. It’s a heavy yet important read — find “America’s Other Family-Separation Crisis” in the Nov. 5 issue, or online at newyorker.com. (JOSH KELETY)

NOVEMBER 29, 2018 INLANDER 35

CULTURE | THEATER

Snow Job The University of Idaho has transformed Shakespeare with a holiday-inspired twist

BY E.J. IANNELLI

T

his past summer, while temporarily residing in a green, bucolic area somewhere roughly in the pinky of Michigan’s mitten, Stephen John all but willed himself into a Yuletide mood. As he sat indoors and contemplated the 90-degree heat outside, he tried to imagine mistletoe, clouds of breath in freezing air, ice skating and snowball fights.

“It was completely unnerving,” he laughs. “I was between two beautiful, giant vistas of lakes and all these wonderful pine trees and oaks, living in a cabin for seven weeks, and working on a winter show.”

What made that process slightly more difficult was that the winter show he was working on was A Midsummer Night’s Dream, which, even based on title alone, is about as estival as it gets. A few months earlier, John had been tasked by the University of Idaho’s theater program with adapting Shakespeare’s oft-quoted, widely performed romantic fantasy-comedy into its 2018 holiday production.

Nor was summoning suitable inspiration the only creative hurdle. Where Shakespeare is concerned, the source material isn’t always straightforward. There can be several different versions — both historical and contemporary — of a single play. In the case of A Midsummer Night’s Dream, there’s the Arden edition (“the one you’ll most likely see in almost every Barnes & Noble,” he notes), the First Folio edition from 1623 and the Folger, a slightly more modern edition. John also consulted more recent edits of the play with various directorial cuts.

“They’re all different in subtle ways. Specifically, there’s language that’s different, and there’s intent that’s different. It comes down to punctuation at times and gets very tricky, because where a comma is versus where a semicolon is can totally change the meaning of a line.”

Then there was the matter of transposing the play’s summer setting to a winter one. Like translating a text from one language to another, that had a literal aspect as well as an atmospheric one.

“If I take the actual text and look at things I needed to change to give us a winter feel, it’s really about 20 to 40 words at most,” he says. “But instead of just saying ‘winter’ [in place of ‘summer’], what’s the overall feel?

Gerrit Wilford and Paige Erbele as Shakespeare’s Oberon and Titania.

A Midsummer Night’s Dream is about love, but it’s also about conflict. It’s about going into this scary place of the woods, finding out who you are, and coming out the other side — and there being some sort of revelation or a fix to all of those problems.”

Although some of that conflict is essential to the play, John thought the emphasis of a family-oriented, holidaythemed show should fall more on the inherent air of enchantment of the season.

“For us, A Midwinter Night’s Dream is a show about magical and elusive love,” he says. “And that’s our starting point. We kept it away from Christmas and anything like that and actually went several hundred years older into a Celtic consideration of what the holidays were, more of a sympathetic magic.”

That means that Puck, played here by Megan Woodward, is still a mischievous imp who “changes our world and effects change” in this version of the play.

Oberon (Gerrit Wilford) and Titania (Paige Erbele), King and Queen of the Fairies, still have their raging lovers’ quarrel. The Mechanicals — the manual laborers turned troupe of amateur actors — are still there, too, including Nick Bottom, who’s transmogrified into the ass with whom a spellbound Titania falls madly in love.

But, as John points out, the focus instead falls more heavily on the characters’ “very specific wants and needs.”

“They’re looking for love, and if we look at it that way, that kind of fits with our holiday theme quite well.

What are the holidays about? They’re about family and being with the people you love. They’re also about giving and receiving. So we’ve turned a midsummer into a midwinter by very few words but really [reimagining] the intent.”

John, who’s also directing this production, has likewise been working with his design team to complement the adapted story with “elements of frost and snow” so the set “feels like one of those window displays” that appear in downtown department stores. The way that the dancing fairies move is “almost more like ice skating than prancing through the glade.”

Taken as a whole, he says, the resulting adaptation aspires to be kid-friendly, “fast-paced,” fun and, above all, “informed by the audience,” particularly the individual traditions that theatergoers bring to the show.

“I’ve stayed away from a Christmas show because it’s not a Christmas show. It’s a holiday show,” says John. “I know that seems semantic, but I go back to Theseus’ line: ‘If we imagine no worse of them than they of themselves, they may pass for excellent men.’ It’s more about the overall feeling that’s locked up in all those Hallmark movies.” n A Midwinter Night’s Dream • Nov. 30-Dec. 9; Thu & Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun (and Dec. 1) at 2 pm • $10-15 • Hartung Theater, 625 Stadium Dr., University of Idaho, Moscow • uidaho.edu/class/theatre • 208-885-6465

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CULTURE | FOOTBALL

Cruel Fate Scenes from the Apple Cup

T

PHOTOS BY YOUNG KWAK

his looked like it might be the year — the year when Washington State beat their rivals from UW in the Apple Cup and moved on to the Pac-12 championship game.

True, in recent years the Huskies handled WSU coach Mike Leach and his charges with ease, but 2018 was different. This year, the Cougs had a solid defense, the higher national ranking than Washington and, most importantly, a swaggering Heisman candidate at quarterback in Gardner Minshew, a graduate transfer who arrived in Pullman for his one year of eligibility at WSU and quickly took control of the team, and the hearts of Coug fans.

Unfortunately, the Mississippi native found himself and his teammates hammered by a gametime snowstorm the likes of which most of them have never seen. They were also, it should be noted, hammered by UW running back Myles Gaskin for the fourth straight year, and the results for Apple Cup 2018 were as predictable as the weather wasn’t: Huskies 28, Cougars 15. (DAN NAILEN)

38 INLANDER NOVEMBER 29, 2018

PHILANTHROPY

Service Industry Giving back to the community hits close to home for many of the region’s food and beverage business owners and staff

BY CARRIE SCOZZARO

Flying Goat co-owner Jonathan Sweatt with his 7-year-old nephew Charlie, who inspired Sweatt to support the Spokane Guilds’ School.

B

usinesses aren’t required to give back to their communities, yet many do through programs large and small. In the hospitality industry — food, beverage and lodging — giving back might mean sponsoring a local sports team, handing out gift cards or dishing up extra plates. And while no one is tracking the myriad ways the Inland Northwest’s service sector is giving back, at a time of year when gifts and food are a primary focus, it’s worthwhile to call attention to a few of the many local vendors who go above and beyond.

Sandpoint-based Evans Brothers’ Coffee donates $1 from each sale of their Ethiopian Guji Kercha singleorigin coffee towards the locally based nonprofit Uryadi’s Village, which helps orphans in the same East African country where Evans Brothers sources its beans. Beyond that, however, Uryadi’s Village is one of many rotating local nonprofits Evans Brothers features via its monthly Community Spotlight program. For that initiative, the roastery choses one day each month for which 15 percent of total sales are donated to a charity.

Building up communities in which its employees work and live is important, says Rick Evans, who founded the Sandpoint roasting house with brother Randy nine years ago. They also recently opened an Evans Brothers’ café in downtown Coeur d’Alene.

Before anyone even asked — Sandpoint is a tight-knit community that’s home to more than 200 nonprofits — Evans Brothers had a blueprint for community involvement.

“Our ultimate goal is to build a business that brings value to our neighborhoods, and which makes this special area even more of a great place to live and raise our families,” Evans says.

Venues, for example, are a big need for organizers who require access to essential services to host fundraisers and other community events, including a roomy facility, parking, seating and a place to prep food. Knowing this, Evans Brothers regularly partners with groups that use its space, from after-hours yoga and pilates, to a children’s carnival, adult prom party, children’s orchestra and a regularly hosted dog-centric fundraiser for the Panhandle Animal Shelter called Yappy Hour.

Sandpoint’s Trinity at City Beach is also a Yappy Hour supporter that, like Evans Brothers, gives back as a matter of course. The restaurant was one of three North Idaho businesses honored this year by the Idaho Nonprofit Center.

“Our core mission is to do right by the community that has given so much to us,” says Trinity owner Justin Dick, under whose leadership the restaurant has supported area food banks, animal shelters, chamber and business events, hospital programs, schools, arts and culture organizations and the outdoors through the Idaho Conservation League’s Pend Oreille Bay Trail Run. Though Sandpoint is unique due to its high number of nonprofits for a relatively small population, most of its charitable organizations are collaborative, says Dick. His

YOUNG KWAK PHOTO

restaurant often becomes a platform for in-kind and cash donations and sees ongoing volunteerism from its staff and management.

For Dick, who’s owned several restaurants in Sandpoint and grew up in a restaurant-owning family, the opportunity to support others hits very close to home.

“We have employees and customers dealing with drug/alcohol dependency, struggling to raise a family below the poverty line,” he says. “It makes it very easy to pick up the call to action to help when you’re personally affected or know someone that is dealing with these issues.”

Affected employees were also the connection for some of the recent community outreach efforts by Spokane’s No-Li Brewhouse, including the brewery’s involvement in the Spokane Veterans Memorial Arena project on behalf of its many veteran employees.

Upon hearing that Rogers High School fell short of the funds needed to purchase new football uniforms — one of No-Li’s employees is a Rogers alum — the staff also produced and sold Rogers-themed T-shirts, raising $12,000 for the program.

No-Li’s staff also like to support organizations that might otherwise not receive the necessary help, says marketing and design manager Bill Powers, such as three youth-oriented groups for which they raised $40,000 this year: Crosswalk Youth Shelter, Odyssey Youth Move...continued on next page

NOVEMBER 29, 2018 INLANDER 39

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FOOD | PHILANTHROPY “SERVICE INDUSTRY,” CONTINUED... ment and Teen & Kid Closet.

“It’s part of our DNA to give in a way that when we see a need, as a member of the community, we can react to it,” Powers says.

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ometimes, the community affected is more than close to home; it’s in the family.

For Jonathan Sweatt, who co-owns Downriver Grill and the Flying Goat with Juli Norris and Republic Pi with Darrin Gleason, his nephew’s experience through the Spokane Guilds’ School and Neuromuscular Center — the boy defied diagnoses that he would never speak — motivated Sweatt to support its work.

“I’ve seen a lot of generosity by [business] owners actually come out of personal pain and loss,” says Kevin Finch, who in 2009 founded Big Table, a Spokane-based nonprofit focused on working with hotels and restaurants to identify and support employees in need.

Once identified, Big Table works to build a community of support around that person in addition to addressing tangible and immediate concerns, such as financial support for medical treatment or past-due rent.

“Some need in the community personally impacts [owners], and for years to come they become a champion for that cause,” Finch continues.

Although the Downriver Grill’s Sweatt only casually knew Steve Gleason, the Spokane native and WSU and New Orleans Saints player who formed Team Gleason to help others battling ALS disease, he understood the impact of such a debilitating disease on someone he calls “the nicest guy you can imagine.” Now Republic Pi donates $1 from every purchase of its “#37” pizza to support Team Gleason, whose approach to giving back, Sweatt says, embodies the notion that “charity starts at home.”

Sweatt also shares the restaurants’ successes with his employees in multiple ways, starting with a year-end get-together during which they all celebrate the community impact they’ve been able to offer; this year it was around $80,000. Sweatt wants employees to know that they’re the key to all of it. He offers health insurance to his staff and also tries to help with other unexpected needs when he can, like medical bills.

“It’s about taking care of our employees so they can take care of our customers,” he says. “It’s really full circle.” n

GIVING MORE

Other regional restaurants and chefs giving back  Twigs Bistro & Martini Bar has three give-back options: corporate sponsor-

ship, in-kind donations and its SHARE-GIVE-HOPE program, whereby a nonprofit receives a percentage of every dollar spent by diners who pre-register.  Anthony’s Restaurants allows individual locations to direct charitable

SATURDAY, DEC. 8, AT 8 P.M. SUNDAY, DEC. 9, AT 3 P.M. MARTIN WOLDSON THEATER AT THE FOX Tickets available at foxtheaterspokane.org, 509.624.1200 or the Fox Theater box office. $20 regular | $15 student/senior

giving through its corporate donation program, including to local school districts.  Prohibition Gastropub regularly offers diners the opportunity to help the

pub help others by either adding a donation to their check or purchasing items requested by such charities as the Union Gospel Mission Crisis Center for Women and Children.  Numerous chefs and restaurateurs regularly donate their time, facilities

and/or food, including Adam Hegsted, Jeremy Hansen, Laurent Zirotti, Peter Tobin and Chad White.  Many area chefs and restaurants partner to support Big Table’s efforts to

For more information, please contact the Whitworth Music Office at 509.777.3280 or music@whitworth.edu.

address systemic issues in the food and beverage industry, including Downriver Grill, Twigs, Hop Jack’s, Park Inn, Eat Good Group and Tortilla Union.  Providence Sacred Heart Children’s Hospital partners with numerous

Spokane restaurants during October to raise funds through its Soup for the Soul campaign.

40 INLANDER NOVEMBER 29, 2018

FOOD | OPENING

FOOD | NEWS

To-Go Box Dry Fly’s huge expansion, Nectar coming to South Perry and more

BY CHEY SCOTT

NECTAR WINE & BEER COMING TO SOUTH PERRY

Ladder Coffee serves house-roasted coffee and handcrafted toast at its new downtown Spokane shop

Nectar’s long-planned expansion into the South Perry District is now a go, owner Josh Wade announced on the bottle shop’s blog, after previous failed negotiations that began more than two years ago.

Nectar Wine & Beer’s forthcoming second store will be located at 907 S. Perry, in a recently constructed building. It will mirror the business model of the Kendall Yards store that opened back in 2015, with 16 craft beers on tap and a list of 32 wines available by the glass, along with a large Nectar’s new South Perry location. retail inventory of both.

At 3,400 square feet, the location is set to include a members’ lounge and a patio. The lounge is planned to be available to beer and wine club members at no extra cost to use for events and parties.

Wade expects the new store will open in mid-spring of 2019.

BY MICHAELA MULLIGAN

DRY FLY DISTILLING ANNOUNCES MASSIVE EXPANSION

A mocha and Ladder’s signature avocado toast.

Moving on Up “P

eople are who we serve, and coffee is what we make,” says Ladder Coffee & Toast owner Aaron Rivkin.

Ladder Coffee’s first brick-and-mortar shop on Riverside Avenue in downtown Spokane’s west end seeks to serve its customers not only good coffee and toast, but personable connections.

The idea for Ladder Coffee was born out of Rivkin’s love for coffee and his troubled past. A four-year addiction to heroin in his late teens ended with a year of incarceration. Coffee gave him a second chance.

After release, he began to learn the craft of coffee and started a roastery in Phoenix called Cream Coffee. A call to compete for Indaba Coffee in the U.S. Barista Championship brought Rivkin up to Spokane in 2015. Here, he realized that it was time to take the lead.

“I would always have to be chasing someone else’s dream, which is not a bad thing, but for me I knew that I had this dream inside of me that I was supposed to influence people,” Rivkin says.

In 2017, his front porch became the first makeshift location for Ladder Coffee. What started with 20 customers quickly grew to 120 within four weeks. The next step was a small drive-thru in north Spokane where he could serve more people.

With plans to continue expanding, renovation began this past August on Ladder’s new Riverside location, and the drive-thru was closed.

The meaning behind the name Ladder Coffee represents Rivkin’s past.

“You never climb a ladder just to climb a ladder, there’s always an end goal; something you’re shooting for,” he says. “For me, I’ve had to put a lot of rungs in my ladder to get where I’m at today.”

With Ladder Coffee & Toast, Rivkin aims not only to hire former felons and help them gain new

HECTOR AIZON PHOTO

skills for success in their careers and personal lives, but also to recognize that everyone has rungs on their ladder leading them to their goals.

W

hile developing the shop’s menu, the needs of coffee nerds and average Joes alike were considered. The focus is classic espresso, with the option to add flavors such as caramel and lavender. Customers can get anything from a pour over ($4.50) to a latte ($4+) along with heartily topped slices of toast. Millenials can “ooh” and “ah” over classic avocado toast with prosciutto and cilantro ($9), as well as toast topped with pear, fig, honey, ricotta and walnuts ($8). Large portion sizes should leave customers feeling full and content.

Another feature of Ladder Coffee’s new shop is a commercial roaster in the back of the store.

Ladder serves its own house-roasted coffee that’s sourced from Ethiopia, Costa Rica and Guatemala.

Staff roast about 400 pounds of coffee a month and soon will be selling these roasts for customers to take home. Single-origin coffees are its focus, with roasts ranging from light to medium.

The Riverside location, in one of the first apartment buildings built in Spokane, is just the beginning for Ladder Coffee. Rikin hopes to open a few more locations around Spokane in old spaces he can restore and renovate and to move westward into Seattle and Portland. Down the road, he dreams of expanding across the country and the globe.

“We have a global mission to be a hub of influence in every city we are planted in and [this] space was the launching pad for that.” n Ladder Coffee and Toast • 1516 W. Riverside Ave. • Open Mon-Thu 7 am-4 pm, Fri-Sat 8 am-4 pm (hours to expand) • facebook.com/laddercoffee • 602-689-8545

Spokane-based Dry Fly Distilling is planning to boost production of its Washington whiskey, gin, vodka, bourbon and barrel-aged spirits by more than 730 percent.

The distillery last week announced a new partnership with Seven Seas Export to expand its production to serve new Pacific Rim markets, starting with South Korea. To meet this new demand, Dry Fly will increase production from its current 30,000 gallon annual maximum to 250,000 gallons each year and to do so is opening a new distillery in central Spokane, just north of downtown.

Dry Fly President Don Poffenroth says the new facility, part of a 5.2-acre mixed-use development at the former site of the City of Spokane’s Fleet Services facility, is slated to open by the end of next year.

The distillery is part of a Spokane-led investor group’s project called NoDo at Normandie, to include retail, housing and office space.

“Basically this is an entire new facility, and none of the current equipment will move over,” Poffenroth says. “We’ll have a bottle shop where you can purchase product and we’ll have a separate pub, so when we separate that out we aren’t restricted in what we can do from a cocktail or beer/wine perspective. So more of a restaurant feel, and there will be food.”

He says the new production facility is going into a historic building that will be renovated and restored and eventually listed on the city’s historic properties registry. The building, at the corner of Sinto and Normandie, has been used by the city of Spokane since the late 1890s, he says.

“Our goal is to be manufacturing in that facility by the end of 2019, even if that’s just one drop,” Poffenroth says.

‘GET FROSTED’ AT NO-LI’S WINTER BEER FEST

Cozy on up to the bar at No-Li Brewhouse’s east Spokane brewpub and enjoy the warmest beers of winter through December. The monthlong “Get Frosted” festival showcases a new festive winter brew each week, like the decadent Peanut Butter Porter Cup and the Apple Pie Ale. When you stop by to try one or several, you’ll also get to take home a special commemorative glass. The brewery is also selling commemorative tree ornaments for $10 each and is donating all the proceeds to local animal rescue SpokAnimal, up to $5,000. Find more, including other regular events and specials, at nolibrewhouse.com/events. n

NOVEMBER 29, 2018 INLANDER 41

All of Them Witches You’ll either love or hate — or really hate — the sprawling, bloody reimagining of the horror classic Suspiria

BY NATHAN WEINBENDER

L

uca Guadagnino’s reimagining of Suspiria is the stylistic inverse of Dario Argento’s 1977 original.

Argento’s film, told with the lean simplicity of a fairy tale, revelled in bold primary colors and seemed to exist outside time and space. It’s sublime madness, the pinnacle of Italian horror, and its goriest moments are also some of its most beautiful.

This new Suspiria, meanwhile, is a sprawling, unwieldy, 152-minute ordeal, grounded in the grim realities of European genocide and fascism, with an ashen visual palette of concrete, fog, dried blood, decaying flesh and exposed bone. It has been a dream project for Guadagnino (Call Me by Your Name), who has said he reveres the source material, but his interpretation feels less like tribute than repudiation, a horror movie made by somebody who doesn’t really seem to like horror movies all that much. He’s referred to it as a “cover version,” but the melody, tempo, key signature and most of the lyrics are totally different.

So maybe it’s unfair to compare the two, since all they really share is a very basic premise, but then maybe it was a mistake to call this film Suspiria in the first place.

Even if you’re walking into it cold, though, you’ll likely be wondering how so much stuff can add up to so little.

It’s set in 1977, the same year Argento’s film was released. An American named Susie Bannion (Dakota Johnson), having fled from a devout Mennonite family, arrives at a Berlin dance academy, which is presided over by the severe but ethereal Madame Blanc (Tilda Swinton). Susie rises in the ranks in the academy almost

42 INLANDER NOVEMBER 29, 2018

immediately, catching Blanc’s eye and replacing the lead suggests horror movies can only be Important or Wordancer in the school’s upcoming production. thy if they’re also weighed down by heavy, real-world And then there’s a string of mysterious disappearsubtext. Guadagnino and screenwriter David Kajganich ances and gruesome deaths, and wouldn’t you know have taken a perfectly good premise and molded it into it — the school is run by a triad of powerful witches that some kind of tortured thesis on generational guilt, the will cruelly dispatch anyone who doesn’t fall into line. perils of motherhood and the cultural and emotional The film then builds and builds and builds to a finale stains of genocide, and it is, frankly, a load of bullshit. that could be praised as a feat of bloody excess were But what of the good elements in Suspiria? Dakota it not so hilariously dumb. There are geysers of gore Johnson (who also appeared in Guadagnino’s underand graphic disembowelments and exploding heads, rated A Bigger Splash) continues to be an intriguing rendered in laughable CGI while Thom screen presence, and any movie that casts Yorke warbles on the soundtrack (though Tilda Swinton in multiple roles (see if you can SUSPIRIA most of his musical score, the first he’s spot the third character she plays) can’t be all Rated R written, is used to terrific effect). It’s a Directed by Luca Guadagnino bad. The dance sequences (choreographed by stab at transgression that really misses its Damien Jalet) are entrancing and beautiful, Starring Dakota Johnson, mark. and cinematographer Sayombhu MukdeepTilda Swinton, Mia Goth Haunting the whole movie are the rom lends them a feverish, dizzying quality. ghosts of Germany’s past. The dance academy is a And the movie’s one truly horrifying set piece, in which stone’s throw away from the Berlin Wall. Radio and the dancer Susie replaces is sent into a limb-twisting fit, TV reports detailing terrorist attacks are constantly is stunning in how it marries the lithe, muscular movehumming in the background. There are earnest discusments of ballet with bone-crunching brutality. sions of the Baader-Meinhof group. On the fringes of That sequence also sums up Suspiria as well as anythe story is an elderly psychologist (credited to “Lutz thing: Guadagnino’s attempt to escape the shadow of Ebersdorf,” which is really Swinton in truly impressive the artist he has supplanted involves him contorting and makeup) who’s investigating the suspicious goings-on, stretching a genre classic into something else entirely all while prodding at the wounds of his wife’s death in a — a ponderous, mostly empty dissection of said genre concentration camp. (In flashbacks, she’s played fittingly classic. It has moments of brilliance, and even more

by Jessica Harper, star of the original Suspiria.) moments of flagrant stupidity, and it’s all so self-serious It’s these new elements that betray the film’s true that I just couldn’t take it seriously at all. Your mileage intentions, I think, and they feed a tired narrative that may vary. n

FILM | SHORTS

OPENING FILMS 2.0

A follow-up to the Bollywood smash hit Enthiran, another sci-fi epic about a scientist who leaps into action when all modern technology turns on humanity. (NW) Not Rated

ON HER SHOULDERS

Nadia Murad is a Nobel Prize-winning Iraqi activist who was kidnapped by

The Possession of Hannah Grace

ISIS, and she tells her harrowing story in this documentary. At the Magic Lantern. (NW) Not Rated

THE POSSESSION OF HANNAH GRACE

A new morgue attendant is terrorized by unseen forces, connected to the body of a woman who died during an exorcism. (NW) Rated R

NOW PLAYING BEAUTIFUL BOY

The study of a young drug addict and how his personal demons erode his relationship with his father. Despite solid performances and good intentions, it’s little more than a clunky PSA. At the Magic Lantern. (JB) Rated R

BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY

The band Queen and late frontman Freddie Mercury (played by Rami Malek) get the biopic treatment, and the results won’t exactly rock you. It takes a disappointingly conventional approach to a wildly unconventional figure. (JB) Rated PG-13

BOY ERASED

Based on a memoir by Garrard Conley, a gay teenager (Lucas Hedges) from a Baptist family is sent away to a conversion therapy camp. It overplays its hand occasionally, finding power in its quietest moments. (NW) Rated R

CAN YOU EVER FORGIVE ME?

In a rare dramatic turn, Melissa McCarthy plays Lee Israel, a celebrity biographer who had a side hustle selling

fake letters from dead famous people in the late 1980s. A fascinating character study as bitter and bristly as its protagonist. (NW) Rated R

CREED II

The Rocky saga continues with Adonis Creed preparing to fight the son of Ivan Drago, who killed his father in the ring all those years ago. It hits all the plot points you expect, but the formula still works like gangbusters. (NW) Rated PG-13

DR. SEUSS’ THE GRINCH

The holiday-hating grump gets another animated adaptation, with Benedict Cumberbatch voicing Whoville’s resident Scrooge. Kids might like it; everyone else will quickly forget it.

(MJ) Rated PG

FANTASTIC BEASTS: THE CRIMES OF GRINDELWALD

The second entry in the Harry Potter prequel series does a lot of wheelspinning, a mostly incoherent and drab franchise builder in which crea...continued on next page

NOVEMBER 29, 2018 INLANDER 43

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SUSPIRIA (152 MIN) LAST WEEK FRI/SAT: 8:00 SUN-THURS: 6:00 ON HER SHOULDERS (93 MIN)

NOW PLAYING ture wrangler Newt Scamander goes up against wizard fascism. (NW) Rated PG-13

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FILM | SHORTS

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CRITICS’ SCORECARD THE INLANDER

GREEN BOOK

A white driver (Viggo Mortensen) ferries a black jazz pianist (Mahershala Ali) through the American South in the 1960s. Its racial politics are undoubtedly simplistic, but its central performances more than make up for it. (MJ) Rated PG-13

(OUT OF 100)

67

FANTASTIC BEASTS 2

53

THE FRONT RUNNER

61

RALPH BREAKS THE INTERNET

71

ROBIN HOOD

33

SUSPIRIA

64

WIDOWS

84

THE FRONT RUNNER

Hugh Jackman plays Gary Hart, whose campaign for the 1988 presidential election was derailed by his own infidelities. It’s a political saga that’s still relevant, which is both its strongest and most troubling aspect. (MJ) Rated R

METACRITIC.COM

CREED II

FREE SOLO

A documentary following climber Alex Honnold’s attempt to successfully ascend Yosemite’s El Capitan rock formation sans rope and safety harness. Not for acrophobes, especially in its stunning final minutes. (NW) Rated PG-13

NEW YORK VARIETY (LOS ANGELES) TIMES

DON’T MISS IT

SUSPIRIA

WORTH $10

Suspiria

INL classic, NYT Inspired by the 1977 horror an 1.5 American ballerina enrolls2 in a German dance academy overseen by witches.

Strange, unwieldy, very violent and ultimately full of itself. At the Magic Lantern. (NW) Rated R

WATCH IT AT HOME

SKIP IT

WIDOWS

VARa groupMET After of career criminals are 3 during a64heist, their wives band killed together to finish one last job. Director Steve McQueen’s most mainstream film is nonetheless artfully made, a twisty thriller with a stellar cast of character actors. (JB) Rated R n

INSTANT FAMILY Have questions about getting covered? We have staff available to help you in person, or over the phone.

Mark Wahlberg and Rose Byrne play a childless couple who adopt a tenacious teenager and her two younger siblings, experiencing all the pains and joys of parenthood. (NW) Rated PG-13

THE NUTCRACKER AND THE FOUR REALMS

The classic Christmas tale gets a truly WTF update, which plays out like Narnia meets The Wizard of Oz meets CGI cacophony. Keira Knightley, Helen Mirren and Morgan Freeman star. (NW) Rated PG

THE OLD MAN & THE GUN

Once you’re covered, you can use your WA state Medicaid, as well as private insurance, for health services at Planned Parenthood.

To schedule an enrollment appointment call: 866-904-7721

Robert Redford gives his supposed swan song as an escaped con who becomes the world’s most charming bank robber. A throwback to the films of the ’70s, and based on a true story. At the Magic Lantern. (NW) Rated PG-13

RALPH BREAKS THE INTERNET

This animated sequel finds Wreck-It Ralph exploring the vast unknown of the internet in an attempt to stop the shutdown of his friend’s video game.

When it isn’t retreading the original, it relies on pop culture references that already feel dated. (JB) Rated PG

ROBIN HOOD

We’re pretty sure this was intended as a hip, modern update of Sherwood Forest’s most famous bandit, though it’s really one of the most generic, unnecessary blockbusters of recent years.

Taron Egerton is no Errol Flynn. (NW) Rated PG-13

A STAR IS BORN

This third remake of the classic ragsto-riches story finds a booze-soaked musician (Bradley Cooper) eclipsed by his protege and lover (Lady Gaga, who can really act). An engaging rock melodrama that offers both the glitter of escapism and the grit of serious issues. (EB) Rated R

44 INLANDER NOVEMBER 29, 2018

NOW STREAMING SORRY TO BOTHER YOU (HULU)

Subversive, surreal and completely unexpected, Boots Riley’s debut imagines an alternate-reality Oakland wherein a black telemarketer rises through the ranks of a shady, Amazon-like corporation by putting on his so-called “white voice.” Race relations, capitalism and the art world are skewered in one of the strangest, most inspired films of the year. (NW) Rated R

FILM | REVIEW

The man who wouldn’t be king: Hugh Jackman is uncanny as disgraced politican Gary Hart.

Political Theater

A period piece that’s still relevant, The Front Runner reflects on the now-forgotten scandals of Gary Hart

BY MARYANN JOHANSON

J

ason Reitman’s latest film, The Front Runner, So this is where the world — or, at least, is a retelling of the story of how Democratic America — was in the autumn of 1988: The new presidential candidate Gary Hart was scuptabloidization of politics. The new celebrification pered, in the final few weeks before the election, of politics. The new soap-opera-ization of politics. in his 1988 bid for the White House by revelaAnd The Front Runner becomes, in the best way, a tions of an extramarital affair. Thirty years on, stew of “Why are men so awful?” but also “Why this is extremely relevant, an enraging yet ironic is the press so awful?” and also “Why is the reminder of how we got to the point where a realAmerican public so awful?” It’s a perfect storm ity-show host could possibly be elected president of awfulness. Honestly, I’m not sure I’ve ever felt of the United States. so much emotional see-sawing as The Front Runner As portrayed with compassion but also more evoked in me. than a dollop of causticity by Hugh Jackman, The movie grapples with this back and forth.

Hart here is a complicated, flawed, but probably Donna Rice, Hart’s supposed girlfriend, barely mostly decent man, at least grading on the curve appears here at all — because none of this is of male politicians in the 1980s. He was very about her — and when she does (played by Sara progressive politically, all about the “big ideas” Paxton) it’s purely to suggest that she got a raw that would lead America — and deal. There’s a female Washington THE FRONT RUNNER Post reporter who is upfront, perhaps the world — into a brighter future. It is almost indis- Rated R at the end of the film, about Directed by Jason Reitman putable that he was going to be how she doesn’t “think [Hart] Starring Hugh Jackman, Vera Farmiga, president in 1988, and it hardly respects women” as a contrast to J.K. Simmons bears thinking about what the the generally positive portrayal nation and the planet might be we’ve seen so far. The Front Runlike today if, for just one thing, we had had a proner walks a fine line between acknowledging that environment president in the White House just attitudes were different in the ’80s and acknowlwhen the warning sirens were starting to go off edging that those attitudes weren’t great, either, about global warming. even then.

But the world was changing. JFK had gotten And now this transformation of politics into away with his mistresses in the 1960s. Suddenly a game show has come, if not full circle, then — like, out of the blue — late-’80s Americans perhaps full spiral. We have gone from killing cared whether their leaders were sleeping with — over consensual sexy-times — a mostly good gorgeous blondes who weren’t their wives. (Vera man’s leadership that likely would have been Farmiga plays Hart’s wife Lee. She is awesome, good for the country, to being OK with a terrible as always.) Probably only for the salacious enterman’s creepy metaphorical and actual assaults on tainment of it, but still. For whatever reason, the women, a terrible man who is a terrible leader new reality was that “gossip is front page news,” and who is dragging the nation down, because … and even respectable, mainstream journalism had why? Because he’s entertaining? I mean, even if become a race to the bottom. As soon as one we wanted the tabloidization of politics, how did paper goes there — whatever awful place there we end up here? is — the others have to follow because news is a The Front Runner is a kind of heaving sigh, a for-profit enterprise constantly chasing audiences, throwing up of collective arms, at the state we’ve even if it shouldn’t be. let ourselves get into. n

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46 INLANDER NOVEMBER 29, 2018

BaLonely is the brainchild of Norman Robbins, left, who performs alongside drummer Cody Brooks and bassist Kristin Robbins (also his mom). YOUNG KWAK PHOTO

ROCK

TRUE STORIES

Spokane trio BaLonely captures their restless, melodic, ever-evolving sound on upcoming debut album

BY NATHAN WEINBENDER

I

f a band’s first music video is meant as a mission statement of the group’s prevailing style and personality, then “Stories,” the debut video from Spokane trio BaLonely, is a success.

In a single take, the clip follows the band’s frontman Norman Robbins via Steadicam through Neato Burrito and the adjoining Baby Bar, in and out of the building and up onto tables, while the characters mentioned in his lyrics pop into the frame as they’re mentioned.

The clip, directed by Darrien Mack, not only captures the vibe of “Stories” — a five-minute track about overhearing snatches of anecdotes at a social gathering and realizing everyone else might be more interesting than you — but also the restless yet controlled sensibilities that BaLonely exude during their live performances: Robbins’ self-deprecating lyrics and pent-up energy suggest he’s a disciple of

David Byrne or Elvis Costello, while bassist Kristin Robbins (who’s Norman’s mom) and drummer Cody Brooks provide the reliable steadiness of any good, straight-faced rhythm section.

The “Stories” video is a complicated bit of choreography, but the band says the process of putting it together was mostly pretty easy: They wrangled extras on the day of filming and completed the whole thing in just four takes, most of which went smoothly (though Norman nearly fell off one of the tables he leaps onto).

“Everyone paid attention, everyone followed Darrien’s lead,” Norman Robbins says. “Just being able to walk through that scene and have everything set up, it was the coolest. Everything worked out so smoothly.”

That laid-back approach is pretty typical of BaLonely, which ...continued on next page

NOVEMBER 29, 2018 INLANDER 47

MUSIC | ROCK “TRUE STORIES,” CONTINUED... essentially clicked into place amidst the everchanging lineups of Spokane’s music scene.

At the time the band started, Norman was splitting his time between four projects, including one-man acts like Jan Francisco, which employed improvisation and looping, and the synth-pop act Walker. The genesis of BaLonely can be traced back to the Holy Cows, a short-lived New Wave-inspired band that Norman started with his parents — Mark Robbins on lead vocals and keys, Kristin on bass — and drummer Robert Shugert, all of whom are former members of the long-running but now-defunct rock band the Camaros.

“When I was young and the Camaros were starting up, I thought that was the coolest thing ever,” Norman says. “It made me want to play music right off the bat.”

The Holy Cows eventually dissolved, leaving Norman with a batch of unfinished songs, which he brought to his mom, who WEEKEND then brought C O U N T D OW N Brooks onGet the scoop on this board — they’d weekend’s events with previously our newsletter. Sign up at played together Inlander.com/newsletter. in the rock trio Heavy Seventeen. That was about two and a half years ago, and BaLonely has since formed a distinct sound that marries wiry post-punk and melodic pop experimentalism.

Norman, now 20, was still living with his parents in their downtown condo when BaLonely began, working out of the tiny childhood bedroom where he spent hours noodling on synths and jury-rigged drum machines as a teenager.

“He would play the same riff until he perfected it. And it would get to the point where it’d be, ‘Move on!’” Kristin recalls with a laugh.

“But a week later, it was, ‘Wow, that’s the song he made.’”

Live music, then, has long been a staple of the Robbins household, and to answer the question that’s no doubt on your mind — no, it’s not weird to play in a rock band with your parents.

“I think the best reaction is when people are like, ‘Oh my God, my mom would never be in a band with me,’” Norman laughs.

“People react funny when they hear it,” Kristin admits.

“You kind of shaped a part of my taste in mu-

THURSDAY

Rick hosting ‘LIVE’ TONIGHT from the KSPS Studios!

48 INLANDER NOVEMBER 29, 2018

sic,” Norman tells Kristin, “so we have this deep understanding of each other’s style, I think.”

Those primary influences include the character-based abstractions of the Velvet Underground — you can hear Lou Reed’s sometimes laconic, sometime manic speak-singing in Norman’s vocals — and the shambolic alt-rock of New Zealand band the Clean. Brooks and Norman, meanwhile, have been trading vintage jazz and funk records.

“The longer you play, the better you are at listening to each other,” Brooks says. “When we’re playing, I’m more worried about me letting them down than them letting me down. I don’t worry about them. We work well together.”

So now that the band’s got a music video under their belt, it only makes sense that they’re also about to drop their debut LP, also called Stories. They’re releasing the album on a limited run of cassettes at this weekend’s Baby Bar show, and it will eventually be uploaded to streaming platforms.

Unlike the “Stories” music video, which was knocked out in a single afternoon, Stories the album has been long in gestation: It’s a collection of songs that have been in the band’s live repertoire for some time and which they’ve been recording in piecemeal fashion since March.

Robbins wrote all the tracks and recorded them in the house where he and Brooks live, running cords from the upstairs computer down into the basement practice space.

The band has recorded more new material, Norman says, that will likely manifest itself as an EP somewhere down the road (it’s also Robbins’ final project as a student at SFCC, incidentally).

But for now, Stories represents a distillation of BaLonely’s still-developing style, and some songs have changed significantly since the recording process started. They’ve been going back and tweaking things they’d recorded months ago, and in the week before the album release, they’re still putting finishing touches on the tapes.

“It’s going to be last minute,” Brooks says.

“We might be folding shit on the way to the show.”

And they all laugh, because they know it’s probably true. n Mystic 100’s with BaLonely • Sat, Dec. 1 at 9:30 pm • $15 • 21+ • Baby Bar • 827 W. First • 847-1234

Rick Steves’ Europe Travel Special

at 8:30 pm

www.ksps.org/rick

MUSIC | METAL

We’ve hand-picked some killer Metallica tracks to revisit before the band hits the Arena on Sunday.

Heavy Metal Wishlist

Five songs we want to see Metallica play in Spokane this weekend

BY DAN NAILEN

T

hirty years ago, my buddy Nick and I made a deal: If he’d go with me to see a band I loved but he didn’t care about, I would go to see a band he loved and I didn’t care about.

My band was Van Halen, on tour with its then-newish second singer Sammy Hagar. His band was Metallica.

In retrospect, the Van Halen show was fine. It was my first chance to see Eddie Van Halen do his thing, and I liked it even though I would have preferred seeing them in the David Lee Roth era. But the Metallica show was incredible, the kind of gig that made me a lifelong fan.

I had no idea at the time, but that Damaged Justice Tour in 1988 was the thrash-metal pioneers’ first-ever headlining arena run, and it would prove to be the beginning of an incredible streak that turned the one-time underground metal heroes into stadium-packing global superstars. Metallica had a massive stage, complete with a giant Lady Justice statue that would collapse and explode as the band played the title track of their then-new album …And Justice for All. Justice became the first Metallica album I ever bought, although I’ve since purchased everything they’ve put

out before and after, and it’s kind of a weird one to start with. It’s full of long songs about government corruption and the perils of war, and for a guy who leaned more pop when it came to his burgeoning metal fandom (Van Halen fan, remember), listening to Metallica’s shifting time signatures and rapid-fire riffs was ear opening to say the least.

As Metallica swings through Spokane Sunday night on its WorldWired Tour, they’re also celebrating the release of a remastered ...And Justice for All. Who knows if that means they’ll play more songs from it — Metallica has always been pretty good about hitting songs from all eras of their career — but I hope so.

Metallica hasn’t rocked Spokane since 2004, and here are the five songs I hope they play during their return this weekend.

“Blackened.” The first song on ...And Justice for All is a monster, and served as a perfect introduction when I was a new fan. A great one to get the mosh pit into a proper frenzy.

“Sad But True.” This track is arguably the heaviest on the so-called Black Album released in 1991, the collec-

HERRING & HERRING PHOTO

tion where Metallica shifted from the thrash of their early days and proggy excursions on Justice to deliver compact, catchy tunes. The change in direction worked, as the album sold more than 16 million copies in the U.S. and made Metallica the biggest band on the planet for a while.

“Leper Messiah.” 1986’s Master of Puppets is Metallica’s masterpiece. The last album before original bassist Cliff Burton died is leaps and bounds beyond their raw first two albums, and every song slays. While you can bet they’ll play the title track, hearing this scathing-if-dated tune about televangelists would be a treat.

“Stone Cold Crazy.” Metallica has delivered some good cover tunes over the years, and on this tour guitarist Kirk Hammett and bassist Rob Trujillo have been paying tribute to musicians from the towns they play in (maybe some Bing Crosby for Spokane?). And while I’d love to hear their take on the Misfits’ “Last Caress,” their cover of Queen’s “Stone Cold Crazy” is a killer, too.

“Spit Out the Bone.” While longtime fans criticize basically every album since ...And Justice For All (some of them justifiably so), their most recent release was a thrilling return to form. 2016’s Hardwired...to Self-Destruct was the band’s sixth straight album to debut at No. 1 in America, and it topped the charts in 57 countries. The double album has a lot of great tunes, most of them reaching seven or eight minutes like the old Justice days.

“Spit Out the Bone” is the last song on the album, but it’s my favorite. n Metallica: WorldWired Tour with Jim Breuer • Sun, Dec. 2 at 7:30 pm • $65-$135 • All ages • Spokane Arena • 720 W. Mallon • spokanearena.com • 279-7000

NOVEMBER 29, 2018 INLANDER 49

MUSIC | SOUND ADVICE

AMERICANA TOMMY EMMANUEL

T

ommy Emmanuel is not only a master of the acoustic guitar, he’s also something of a chameleon.

How does one go about describing what genre he belongs to? For further proof of his versatility, check out the Australian guitarist’s latest album Accomplice One, a series of duets with the likes of Mark Knopfler, Jason Isbell, Suzy Bogguss and Ricky Skaggs. The song selection alone is enough to raise an eyebrow. Singer-songwriter Amanda Shires joins Emmanuel for a countrified version of Madonna’s “Borderline.” J.D. Simo shows up for a cover of “(Sittin’ on) the Dock of the Bay,” turning it into a bluesy shuffle. And then there’s the finger-picked instrumental take on the Jimi Hendrix classic “Purple Haze” featuring dobro by Jerry Douglas, who will perform with Emmanuel in Spokane.

— NATHAN WEINBENDER Tommy Emmanuel with Jerry Douglas • Mon, Dec. 3 at 8 pm • $34.50-$49.50 • All ages • Bing Crosby Theater • 901 W. Sprague • bingcrosbytheater.com • 227-7638

J = THE INLANDER RECOMMENDS THIS SHOW J = ALL AGES SHOW

HIP-HOP TRAVIS THOMPSON

Thursday, 11/29

J J THE BARTLETT, Dirtwire, Moontricks, The Holy Broke BERSERK, Vinyl Meltdown J BOOTS BAKERY & LOUNGE, The Song Project J BUCER’S COFFEEHOUSE PUB, Open Jazz Jam with Erik Bowen THE CORK & TAP, Truck Mills CRUISERS, Open Jam Night DARCY’S RESTAURANT & SPIRITS, Old School Dance Music and Karaoke w/DJ Dave HILLS’ RESTAURANT & LOUNGE, Floating Crowbar THE JACKSON ST., Zaq Flanary and the Songsmith Series JOHN’S ALLEY, Brad Parsons and Starbird J KNITTING FACTORY, Casey Donahew, Jesse Quandt J LAGUNA CAFÉ, Just Plain Darin NIGHTHAWK LOUNGE (CDA CASINO), PJ Destiny J THE PIN, Local Loyalty with Pest, King Scrub, Dirty Savage, Savvy Rae, On One, HTC, Treezy THE RIDLER PIANO BAR, Dueling Pianos feat. Christan Raxter & Steve Ridler STEAM PLANT SQUARE, Ron Greene ZOLA, Blake Braley

Friday, 11/30

219 LOUNGE, Pray for Snow Party w/Bum Jungle ARBOR CREST WINE CELLARS, KOSH BOLO’S, Pastiche BOOMBOX PIZZA, Karaoke BOOMERS CLASSIC ROCK BAR & GRILL, Vern and The Volcanoes BRIDGE PRESS CELLARS, Devon Wade J BUCER’S COFFEEHOUSE PUB, West My Friend THE BULL HEAD, Christy Lee

50 INLANDER NOVEMBER 29, 2018

T

ravis Thompson is one of several Seattle artists — alongside Mary Lambert, Ray Dalton and Wanz — who can thank Macklemore for giving them an international platform. Through the Residency, Macklemore and Ryan Lewis’ program that provides guidance to low-income kids who are also budding hip-hop artists, Thompson developed a style and confidence that obviously caught the attention of the “Downtown” hitmaker.

Thompson gained notoriety after appearing on “Corner Store” from Macklemore’s solo album Gemini, and he performed it alongside his mentor on The Tonight Show last year. Now the 22-year-old is on tour with his own LP, titled YouGood?, putting his laidback flow front and center. It’s also one of those visual albums, meaning it’s complemented by a 40-minute short film that’s available on YouTube and lets you burrow further into the young artist’s head.

— NATHAN WEINBENDER Travis Thompson with Jango and Karma • Thu, Dec. 6 at 8 pm • $15 • All ages • Washington Cracker Building • 304 W. Pacific Ave. • ticketswest.com CEDAR STREET BRIDGE, The Ronaldos CHINOOK STEAK, PASTA AND SPIRITS (CDA CASINO), Bill Bozly CORBY’S BAR, Karaoke COSMIC COWBOY GRILL, Clint Darnell CRUISERS, Karaoke with Gary CURLEY’S, Mojo Box DARCY’S RESTAURANT & SPIRITS, Karaoke and Dancing w/DJ Dave J DI LUNA’S CAFE, Keith Greeninger FARMHOUSE KITCHEN AND SILO BAR, Tom D’Orazi and Friends HILLYARD LIBRARY SPORTS BAR, Bobby Patterson and Randy HOGFISH, Undercard, Silent Theory, Heart Avail, Ragbone HOUSE OF SOUL, Nu Jack City IDAHO POUR AUTHORITY, Browne Salmon Truck IRON HORSE (COEUR D’ALENE), Karma’s Circle THE JACKSON ST., Les Femmes Will Rock

THE JACKSON ST., Mark Holt, LuVolution, The Sinbound JOHN’S ALLEY, Naughty Pine J LAGUNA CAFÉ, Diane Copeland LEFTBANK WINE BAR, Daniel Hall MARYHILL WINERY, Scott Nordahl MASSELOW’S STEAKHOUSE, Tom Pletscher MAX AT MIRABEAU, Tuck Foster and the Tumbling Dice MICKDUFF’S BEER HALL, The Other White Meat MOOSE LOUNGE, Dragonfly NASHVILLE NORTH, Christmas Extravaganza with The Kelly Hughes Band, The Hankers and guests NIGHTHAWK LOUNGE (CDA CASINO), Zach Logan; Rewind J OUTLAW BBQ & CATERING MARKET, Songsmith Series feat.

Dave McRae PEND D’OREILLE WINERY, Adam Foote

THE PIN, Adventure Grime feat. Slik Vik, Cats & Pajamas, OVE, Raskl, Meraki, Static THE RIDLER PIANO BAR, Dueling Pianos feat. Christan Raxter & Steve Ridler THE SNAKE PIT, Arvid Lundin & Deep Roots ZOLA, Royale

Saturday, 12/1

219 LOUNGE, Naughty Pine J BABY BAR, Mystic 100’s, Balonely (see page 47) BARLOWS AT LIBERTY LAKE, The Kevin Shay Band J J THE BARTLETT, Northwest of Nashville Holiday Special w/Jenny Anne Mannan, Prairie War, Kevin Morgan, Emilie Miller, Bob Riggs BOLO’S, Pastiche BOOMERS CLASSIC ROCK BAR & GRILL, Vern and The Volcanoes

J BUCER’S COFFEEHOUSE PUB, Soul Christmas and More with Natalie Greenfield CEDAR STREET BRIDGE, Jake Robin CHINOOK STEAK, PASTA AND SPIRITS (CDA CASINO), Bill Bozly COSMIC COWBOY GRILL, Eric Neuhausser J CRUISERS, Invasive, Cobra Jet, My Own Affliction CURLEY’S, Mojo Box EICHARDT’S, Big Phatty and the Inhalers J FAITH BIBLE CHURCH, Ghost Ship J FIRST INTERSTATE CENTER FOR THE ARTS, Casting Crowns, Hannah Kerr GARLAND PUB & GRILL, Usual Suspects J HUCKLEBERRY’S NATURAL MARKET, Jody Piper IDAHO POUR AUTHORITY, Justin Lantrip

Submit events online at Inlander.com/getlisted or email relevant details to getlisted@inlander.com. We need the details one week prior to our publication date.

STORMIN’ NORMAN’S SHIPFACED SALOON, Karaoke WESTWOOD BREWING, Kyle Swaffard ZOLA, Royale

Sunday, 12/2

THE BLIND BUCK, Show Tune SingAlong Sundays J CLEARWATER RIVER CASINO, The Oak Ridge Boys CRAVE, DJ Dave DALEY’S CHEAP SHOTS, Rev. Yo’s VooDoo Church Jam GARLAND PUB & GRILL, Karaoke LINGER LONGER LOUNGE, Open Jam MARYHILL WINERY, Warren Frysinger NIGHTHAWK LOUNGE (CDA CASINO), Zach Logan J NORTHERN QUEST RESORT & CASINO, Foghat O’DOHERTY’S, Live Irish Music J ONE WORLD CAFE, Jodi Marie & The Chelseas J THE PIN, The Faceless, Rings of Saturn, Vale of Pnath, The Last Ten Seconds of Life, Interloper J J SPOKANE ARENA, Metallica (see page 49) STORMIN’ NORMAN’S SHIPFACED SALOON, Karaoke ZOLA, Lazy Love

Monday, 12/3

J J BING CROSBY THEATER, Tommy Emmanuel (see facing page) with Jerry Douglas THE BULL HEAD, Songsmith Series J CALYPSOS COFFEE & CREAMERY, Open Mic CHECKERBOARD BAR, Open Mic

HANDMADE CLAY COOKWARE

Tuesday, 12/4

219 LOUNGE, Karaoke with DJ Pat J J BING CROSBY THEATER, The Kingston Trio BOOMBOX PIZZA, Karaoke CRAVE, DJ Dave GARLAND PUB & GRILL, Karaoke LEFTBANK WINE BAR, Turntable Tuesday THE OBSERVATORY, Musician’s Open Mic J THE PIN, The Number Twelve Looks Like You, Rolo Tomassi, Arsonists Get All the Girls, FAUS RAZZLE’S BAR & GRILL, Open Mic Jam RED ROOM LOUNGE, Electro Opera ft.

Storme & Madeline McNeill THE RIDLER PIANO BAR, Country Swing Dancing SWEET LOU’S RESTAURANT AND TAP HOUSE, Jacob Maxwell THE VIKING, Local Lounge Night ZOLA, Dueling Cronkites

RUSTIC ELEGANCE FROM YOUR STOVE TOP TO YOUR HOLIDAY TABLE

Wednesday, 12/5

BLACK DIAMOND, Songsmith Series feat. Echo Elysium CRAVE, DJ Dave CRUISERS, Open Jam Night Hosted by The Jam Band J J FIRST INTERSTATE CENTER FOR THE ARTS, The Oak Ridge Boys GENO’S TRADITIONAL FOOD & ALES, Open Mic HOUSE OF SOUL, Jazz & Whiskey Wednesdays IRON HORSE (CDA), Open Jam IRON HORSE (VALLEY), Kori Ailene THE JACKSON ST., Karaoke JOHN’S ALLEY, Zion I J THE LOCAL DELI, Devon Wade LUCKY’S IRISH PUB, DJ D3VIN3 J THE PIN, Cypress Spring, Big Kountry POOLE’S PUBLIC HOUSE (SOUTH HILL), Justin James RED ROOM LOUNGE, Blowin’ Kegs Jam Session THE RIDLER PIANO BAR, Dueling Pianos feat. Christan Raxter & Steve Ridler THE THIRSTY DOG, Karaoke J TWO SEVEN PUBLIC HOUSE, Matt Mitchell ZOLA, Cruxie

35 W. Main, Spokane Mon-Sat 10-5:30 (509) 464-7677 kizurispokane.com

Coming Up ...

J J WASHINGTON CRACKER CO. BUILDING, Travis Thompson (see facing page) with Jango and Karma, Dec. 6 BABY BAR, Jeff Peterson, The Smokes, DJ Case, Dec. 8 BERSERK, Silver Treason, Nat Park and the Tunnels of Love, Dec. 8 KNITTING FACTORY, Metal X-Mas Bash, Dec. 8, 8 pm.

J THE PIN, Metal Music Mashup, Dec. 8 J KNITTING FACTORY, Allen Stone, Nick Waterhouse, Dec. 11

IN

CA K LO L •

SH

AL C O L OP L•

GET LISTED!

CRAVE, DJ Dave EICHARDT’S, Monday Night Jam with Truck Mills RED ROOM LOUNGE, Open Mic with Lucas Brookbank Brown ZOLA, Perfect Mess

• TH

IRON HORSE (CDA), Karma’s Circle THE JACKSON ST., Karaoke JOHN’S ALLEY, Innasci LEFTBANK WINE BAR, Kari Marguerite MARYHILL WINERY, Maxie Ray Mills MASSELOW’S STEAKHOUSE, Tom Pletscher MAX AT MIRABEAU, Tuck Foster and the Tumbling Dice MICKDUFF’S BEER HALL, Brian Jacobs and Chris Lynch MILLWOOD BREWING COMPANY, Gil Rivas MOOSE LOUNGE, Dragonfly MOOTSY’S, Graveyard Witch, Merlock MULLIGAN’S BAR & GRILLE, Rhys Gerwin Jazz NASHVILLE NORTH, Mitchell Tenpenny w/Jon Langston & Luke Jaxon NIGHTHAWK LOUNGE (CDA CASINO), Zach Logan; Rewind J THE PIN, Winter Country Fest with Jason Michael Carroll POST FALLS BREWING, Son of Brad RED ROOM LOUNGE, Back to Basics feat. The Widdler & Pushloop THE RIDLER PIANO BAR, Dueling Pianos feat. Christan Raxter & Steve Ridler

• L I V E LOC

A

ON STANDS NOW!

MUSIC | VENUES 219 LOUNGE • 219 N. First, Sandpoint • 208-2639934 315 MARTINIS & TAPAS • 315 E. Wallace, CdA • 208-667-9660 ARBOR CREST WINE CELLARS • 4705 N. Fruit Hill Rd. • 927-9463 BABY BAR • 827 W. First Ave. • 847-1234 BARLOWS • 1428 N. Liberty Lake Rd. • 924-1446 THE BARTLETT • 228 W. Sprague Ave. • 747-2174 BEEROCRACY • 911 W. Garland Ave. BERSERK • 125 S. Stevens • 714-9512 THE BIG DIPPER • 171 S. Washington • 863-8098 BIGFOOT PUB • 9115 N. Division St. • 467-9638 BING CROSBY THEATER • 901 W. Sprague Ave. • 227-7638 BLACK DIAMOND • 9614 E. Sprague • 891-8357 BOLO’S • 116 S. Best Rd. • 891-8995 BOOMERS • 18219 E. Appleway Ave. • 755-7486 BOOTS BAKERY & LOUNGE • 24 W. Main Ave. • 703-7223 BUCER’S COFFEEHOUSE PUB • 201 S. Main, Moscow • 208-882-5216 BUZZ COFFEEHOUSE • 501 S. Thor • 340-3099 CALYPSOS COFFEE & CREAMERY • 116 E. Lakeside Ave., CdA • 208-665-0591 CHATEAU RIVE • 621 W. Mallon Ave. • 795-2030 CHECKERBOARD BAR • 1716 E. Sprague Ave. • 535-4007 COEUR D’ALENE CASINO • 37914 S. Nukwalqw Rd., Worley, Idaho • 800-523-2464 COEUR D’ALENE CELLARS • 3890 N. Schreiber Way, CdA • 208-664-2336 CRAFTED TAP HOUSE • 523 Sherman Ave., CdA • 208-292-4813 CRAVE• 401 W. Riverside • 321-7480 CRUISERS • 6105 W Seltice Way, Post Falls • 208773-4706 CURLEY’S • 26433 W. Hwy. 53 • 208-773-5816 DALEY’S CHEAP SHOTS • 6412 E. Trent • 535-9309 EICHARDT’S PUB • 212 Cedar St., Sandpoint • 208-263-4005 THE FEDORA • 1726 W. Kathleen, CdA • 208-7658888 FIZZIE MULLIGANS • 331 W. Hastings • 466-5354 FOX THEATER • 1001 W. Sprague • 624-1200 THE HIVE • 207 N. First, Sandpoint • 208-457-2392 HOGFISH • 1920 E. Sherman, CdA • 208-667-1896 HOLLYWOOD REVOLVER BAR • 4720 Ferrel, CdA • 208-274-0486 HOUSE OF SOUL • 120 N. Wall • 217-1961 IRON HORSE BAR • 407 E. Sherman Ave., CdA • 208-667-7314 IRON HORSE BAR & GRILL • 11105 E. Sprague Ave., CdA • 509-926-8411 JACKSON ST. BAR & GRILL • 2436 N. Astor St. • 315-8497 JOHN’S ALLEY • 114 E. Sixth St., Moscow • 208883-7662 KNITTING FACTORY • 911 W. Sprague Ave. • 244-3279 LAGUNA CAFÉ • 2013 E. 29th Ave. • 448-0887 THE LANTERN TAP HOUSE • 1004 S. Perry St. • 315-9531 LEFTBANK WINE BAR • 108 N. Washington • 315-8623 LUCKY’S IRISH PUB • 408 W. Sprague • 747-2605 MARYHILL WINERY • 1303 W. Summit Pkwy, Ste. 100 • 443-3832 MAX AT MIRABEAU • 1100 N. Sullivan • 924-9000 MICKDUFF’S • 312 N. First Ave., Sandpoint • 208)255-4351 MONARCH MOUNTAIN COFFEE • 208 N 4th Ave, Sandpoint • 208-265-9382 MOOSE LOUNGE • 401 E. Sherman • 208-664-7901 MOOTSY’S • 406 W. Sprague • 838-1570 MULLIGAN’S • 506 Appleway Ave., CdA • 208- 7653200 ext. 310 NASHVILLE NORTH • 6361 W. Seltice Way, Post Falls • 208-457-9128 NECTAR CATERING & EVENTS • 120 N. Stevens St. • 869-1572 NORTHERN QUEST RESORT • 100 N. Hayford Rd., Airway Heights • 242-7000 NYNE • 232 W. Sprague Ave. • 474-1621 THE OBSERVATORY • 15 S. Howard • 381-5489 OMEGA EVENT CENTER • 25 E. Lincoln Rd. O’SHAY’S • 313 E. CdA Lake Dr. • 208-667-4666 PEND D’OREILLE WINERY • 301 Cedar St., Sandpoint • 208-265-8545 THE PIN! • 412 W. Sprague • 368-4077 RED LION RIVER INN • 700 N. Division • 326-5577 RED ROOM LOUNGE • 521 W. Sprague • 838-7613 REPUBLIC BREWING • 26 Clark Ave. • 775-2700 RIDLER PIANO BAR • 718 W. Riverside • 822-7938 RIVELLE’S • 2360 N Old Mill Loop, CdA • 208-9300381 SEASONS OF COEUR D’ALENE • 209 E. Lakeside Ave. • 208-664-8008 THE SHOP • 924 S. Perry St. • 534-1647 SOULFUL SOUPS & SPIRITS • 117 N. Howard St. • 459-1190 SPOKANE ARENA • 720 W. Mallon • 279-7000 THE THIRSTY DOG • 3027 E. Liberty Ave. • 487-3000 TIMBER GASTRO PUB •1610 E Schneidmiller, Post Falls • 208-262-9593 ZOLA • 22 W. Main Ave. • 624-2416

NOVEMBER 29, 2018 INLANDER 51

COMEDY HOMECOMING SEASON

Given that Dan Cummins (above) is a homegrown comedy talent from right here in Spokane, you know the guy is going to draw a crowd when he comes to town. But perhaps you haven’t noticed just how big Cummins is getting outside our little Lilac City bubble. Earlier this year he released his sixth album, Maybe I’m the Problem?, and the podcast he hosts, Timesuck, regularly appears among the most-downloaded comedy podcasts on the iTunes chart. He’s written for a wide array of TV shows, both reality and scripted, and penned a graphic novel this year, too. And, of course, he tours like a madman, including four shows in his hometown this weekend.

— DAN NAILEN Dan Cummins • Nov. 29-Dec. 1; Thu-Fri at 7:30 pm, Sat at 7:30 and 10 pm • $17-$20 • 21+ • Spokane Comedy Club • 315 W. Sprague • spokanecomedyclub.com • 318-9998

GET LISTED!

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52 INLANDER NOVEMBER 29, 2018

CLASSICAL SWEET TREAT

MUSIC SAFETY FIRST

Spokane Symphony: The Nutcracker • Nov. 29-Dec. 2; Thu-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sat-Sun at 2 pm • $17.50-$57/ages 12 and under; $25-$82/adults • Martin Woldson Theater at the Fox • 1001 W. Sprague • spokanesymphony.org • 624-1200

Foghat • Sun, Dec. 2 at 7:30 pm • $39/$49/$69 • Northern Quest Resort & Casino • 100 N. Hayford Rd., Airway Heights • northernquest.com • 481-2100

It’s a piece of music many instantly recognize from the first few notes, transporting us to Clara’s wonderful imagination of toy soldiers and dancing sugar plum fairies. For the 40th year now, the Spokane Symphony orchestra performs Tchaikovsky’s beloved Nutcracker Suite alongside dancers from Santa Barbara’s State Street Ballet. Clara and the Nutcracker Prince travel to faraway lands and battle the evil Mouse King, joined by 75 local youth dancers. Watch for famous scenes such as the waltz of the snowflakes and Spanish and Arabian dances. This year’s show is conducted by Spokane Symphony Assistant Conductor Jorge Luis Uzcátegui.

— MICHAELA MULLIGAN

For longtime fans of British blues-rockers Foghat, the band’s cover of Willie Dixon’s “I Just Want to Make Love to You” might be the ultimate example of their sound. Their cranked-up, electrified version of the blues standard actually reached the U.S. Singles Chart twice, first when it was originally released in 1972, and more successfully in its raucous live version released in 1977. For a generation or two of more casual fans, though, there’s nothing more Foghat than “Slow Ride,” and specifically when it cranks up for the closing scene in Dazed and Confused. I’d hazard a guess they’ll play both of those tunes and then some when they’re in town Sunday.

— DAN NAILEN

Post Falls Chamber of Commerce presents

Post Fallidays

Tiny Tree Festival CLASSICAL SEASON OF STRINGS

It’s hard to put into words, but there’s just something warm about stringed instruments. Consider this year’s Northwest Bachfest winter concerts your musical down comforter. You’ve got two chances to catch this quartet — first in Coeur d’Alene on Dec. 6, and again in Spokane on Dec. 9 — which will feature cellist and Bachfest artistic director Zuill Bailey alongside violinist Benjamin Breen, pianist Awadagin Pratt and viola player Martin Sher. Both programs will feature Robert Schumann’s famed piano quartet, followed by Johannes Brahms’ third piano quartet.

— NATHAN WEINBENDER Northwest Bachfest Winter Classics • Thu, Dec. 6 at 7 pm • Hagadone Event Center • 900 S. Floating Green Dr., Coeur d’Alene • Sun, Dec. 9 at 3 pm • Barrister Winery • 1213 W. Railroad Ave. • $35-$40 • All ages • nwbachfest. com • 326-4942

December 8, 2018 10:00am - 12:00pm Red Lion Templin’s

$30 tickets

Post Falls, Idaho

Join us for our Post Fallidays Festival Tiny Tree Auction & Brunch. Enjoy a morning perusing tiny trees and wreaths creatively decorated by members of our community that will be up for auction.

Stay the night and enjoy our many holiday activites!

www.visitpostfalls.org

VISUAL ARTS STUDIO SIGHTS

Get a peek into the creative process of eight local artists during the Northwest Museum of Arts & Culture’s second annual holiday studio tour. Art is for sale at each studio to help shoppers get a head start on gifting while supporting local creators. Featured artists include Ben Joyce (pictured), known for his “abstract topophilia” geography-inspired pieces, alongside encaustic artist Christy Branson and blacksmith Steve McGrew. Rounding out the list are Ben Fife, of Westward Leather Co., jewelry artist Karen Ciaffa, award-winning painter Stan Miller, abstract expressionist Kevin R. Kirk and mixed media artist David Wang. Drop in to any of the studios at any time during the tour, which ends with a hosted reception ($20) at Joyce’s new downtown studio with wine from Barrister Winery, live music, appetizers and a prize drawing.

— CHEY SCOTT MAC Holiday Artist Studio Tour • Sat, Dec. 1 from 10 am-4 pm; reception 4-6 pm • $10/tour; $20/tour + reception • Locations vary • Details at northwestmuseum.org • 456-3931

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NOVEMBER 29, 2018 INLANDER 53

W I SAW YOU

S S

CHEERS JEERS

&

I SAW YOU HEARTH Seeing you in any space is like coming in from the cold. Aches like fingers thawing and the cavity of my chest remembering what it’s like to breathe. I want to come home to you every day for the rest of my life.

RX FOR LOVE SIR Hey, I want you to know you’re super dead sexy (that’s an understatement)! I have to admit you’re definitely, I don’t know, THE SHIT!!!! If you would like to call me, you know my number. You’re the cure for my addiction! Love, Your Prescription for Love PEAK FITNESS FINANCIAL! OMG! Sharon! The incredible information I received from being stuck with you in the dry sauna was fabulous. Josh from Axiom was so great at getting back with you and explaining how your accounts had to be turned to “cash” in order to make them more fluid for transferring to bonds. Sorry I had to help you out with the word “fluid” when chatting with your husband.

His advice was terrific. Those kinds of conversations should be done in person. Seemed only fair as you stuttered over what Josh has said. Nice kid.

Sorry you feel as though no one has been monitoring your accounts. The best part was when Axiom called you

back and you gave not only your full name and birthday...also your account number... Oh and your passcode. I get it. Folks from Texas conduct business all the time in the gym sauna, but as I was getting my sweat on, you were oblivious to just how much you shared.

Lucky for you, I’m an honest person.

Most of us are, here in Idaho. It’s too bad you’re so damn busy that people have the audacity to bother you at the gym, but that phone of yours has an off switch. Try using it at least in the women’s locker room next time.

Judging by the eye rolls around you, I know I wasn’t the only one who was grateful when you FINALLY hung up.

That talk to text feature really messes you up. No wonder your man couldn’t understand a damn word you said.

Maybe it was the accent. Dallas area, right? I’m cheating... you told us all that too. Do yourself and those around you a favor girl. Do the gym thing and put the phone on airplane mode. You could use a little you time, to reflect on where to put all that cash. I hope Josh makes a good commission.

CHEERS DON’T LOOK BACK I’ve been thru some rough times in life, who hasn’t, right? Sometimes we take a wrong turn and end up in hell. Some say it’s choices, others say bad luck. My question: is this a lesson? I can look back and think, could’ve done this or tried that. I didn’t. I needed you. Came to you, bowed down and asked for help.

You know how hard that was! If I had some where else to go - I would have went! Never once did I place blame and never asked for more than I had given. You made sure every day was misery! If you saw hope in my eyes you ripped my heart out and crammed in down my throat. I’m at the end of this journey and still not a shred of compassion, understanding, empathy or encouragement. Not for a second, did you show love. Seven years, you invaded my space, my privacy, my

SOUND OFF

home. You forced your way in. Yet, no matter how bad it got, I never said no when you needed me. It wasn’t you who let me in. It wasn’t you who held me up. Hey, I am still standing. I am

“

you. You make every second better and you know just what to say and do to take the weight off of my shoulders.

I love you.

VAGINA POLICE How dare you send your 6 year old up to demand why I went from being a man to a woman.

Just because you are 5’4” and fat as you are tall and I am 5’11”’ does not

Hey, I am still standing. I am still strong.

I will love again. You can’t take that from me. I will be happy with and without you!

You lose because you lost me.

still strong. I will love again. You can’t take that from me. I will be happy with and without you! You lose because you lost me. You won’t see it as I’m walking away but I’m still smiling! I know EXACTLY what I wished for!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS! I am so incredibly thankful to all of the wonderful friends and family I have in my life as well as our incredible community! I see so many kind gestures and wonderful people while walking around Spokane!

Keep up the good work, remember to be kind and stay warm this holiday season!

CHICKEN NUGGETS FOREVER I love chicken nuggets. Chicken nuggets make the world go round. The story of how I met nugget was when I went to a place where they sold chicken nuggets. Oh how I love chicken nuggets.

Love, breadstick. LKLYCDRP MAKING THANKSGIVING MEMORIES You mentioned last week, amidst our chaos of prepping that we’d look back on this day when we are 65 and smile at our grandbabies, laughing about “our first Thanksgiving at our place” ... I cannot wait for that moment with

1. Visit Inlander.com/isawyou by 3 pm Monday. 2. Pick a category (I Saw You, You Saw Me, Cheers or Jeers). 3.

Provide basic info: your name and email (so we know you’re real). 4. To connect via I Saw You, provide a non-identifying email to be included with your submission — like “petals327@yahoo.com,” not “j.smith@comcast.net.”

JEERS PROMISES KEPT? Trump demands that Congress fund construction of “The Wall”. Is he threatening the Mexican Congress? News flash Trump voters, funding by our Congress is out of your pocket. Is this another of his promises made, promises kept? Jeers to you if you do not hold him to his adamant promise that Mexico pays for The Great Wall of Trump.

CUD CHEWERS To the dumb retail cashiers who look like cows chewing their cud most of the time, learn some social skills. Here are a few tips cows.

First, greet your customer. Make eye contact and say anything intelligent.

Second, ring up the sale. Next, tell the customer the total. Don’t point to the register and expect your customer to see the total. Use your words. Also, be sure to politely end the transaction.

Remember, your customer doesn’t have to shop with you. She can go elsewhere. For those fools who think “do that”, may your employer fire you because you really do suck. Go back to chewing your cud.

”

automatically make me a man. You are rude and ignorant. I hope your daughter realizes you are a narrow minded, uneducated runt and doesn’t grow up to be just like you.

GUNS VS VIOLENCE OK, boys and girls, grow up and figure it out. A gun is not violent. Law abiding citizens who own guns are not violent.

Criminals with guns are violent. Place blame on the criminals, not the gun.

Never heard of a violent gun, only criminal violence. Lawmakers pick on the law abiding cause they can’t stop the criminals. I’ll continue to bear arms to perhaps stop the violent criminals or die trying, rather than be a victim. n

THIS WEEK'S ANSWERS T A X I

A V I A

S U L A

K N O T

M I C R O

O N N O W

G A I N T W I E D E A T N A E R G B A E T L E L S

I N A H U R R Y

M O T O R S

B O H R S

I N E P T

J I O U R D M V S O P E A N D I K P R E E N B S A Y

B E E R N S T E A D O N S L T E I T S H T E M O J E T U M E D E R G S M E

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EVENTS | CALENDAR

BENEFIT

BREAST INTENTIONS BRA DRIVE The boutique is collecting donations through the end of the year for the nonprofit’s future bra fitting events for women in need. Those who donate receive a coupon. Open Tue-Sat, 10 am-8 pm. Atomic Threads Clothing Boutique, 1925 N. Monroe St. bit.ly/2DGqRxd (509-598-8755) SANTA EXPRESS STORE The annual holiday retail store allows local children to shop for affordable holiday gifts for family and friends, with proceeds benefiting the Vanessa Behan Crisis Nursery, a safe shelter for kids who are in crisis situations. Open to ages 4-12. Through Dec. 23; Mon-Fri 11 am-8 pm, Sat 10 am-8 pm and Sun 11 am-6 pm. River Park Square, 808 W. Main. santaexpress.org TREE OF SHARING Support local families and children in need, and visit a gift table to pick up a tag and drop off a gift on someone’s wish list. Tables are located at NorthTown Mall, Spokane Valley Mall and River Park Square. Gifts need to be dropped off by Dec. 17; tables open during regular mall hours. treeofsharing.org 4TH ANNUAL HOLIDAY BASH This festive evening includes light food, beverages, a live performance by The Voice, Season 5 “Team Adam” contestant Preston Pohl, late-night DJ and dancing.

Proceeds benefit the Community Cancer Fund’s mission of fighting cancer in the Inland Northwest. Nov. 30, 8 pm. $75+.

Davenport Grand Hotel, 333 W. Spokane Falls Blvd. (800-918-9344) HOLIDAY CRAB FEED An evening of food, libations and auctions benefitting Partners with Families & Children, the Children’s Home Society and Vanessa Behan Crisis Nursery in their work towards the prevention of child abuse. Includes live music by the Cronkites. Nov. 30, 4:30-11 pm. $75. Spokane Convention Center, 334 W. Spokane Falls Blvd. downtownspokaneexchangeclub.org STEAK & BAKE FUNDRAISER The monthly fundraiser includes live music from Diminishing Faculties and a dinner of steak, salad, baked potato and bread.

Last Friday of the month, 5-7 pm. $10.

VFW Post 1435, 212 S. David. (535-9315) 4TH ANNUAL BEARD & MUSTACHE COMPETITION The annual contest and benefit, hosted by the Spokane Beard & Mustache Club, this year supports Teen & Kid Closet and Embrace Washington.

Sign-ups start at 4, competition at 5 pm.

Competitor entry is a donation of brand new children’s socks or underwear. Dec. 1, 4-6 pm. Bellwether Brewing Co., 2019 N. Monroe. bit.ly/2qPFjdU (280-8345) JINGLE BELL RUN INLAND NORTHWEST The Arthritis Foundation’s annual holiday-themed fundraiser run encourages holiday-themed costume, jingle bells on your shoelaces and more. Run or walk with a team to support the foundation’s work to support arthritis research and treatment programs. Dec. 1, 8 am.

Riverfront Park, 705 N. Howard St. bit. ly/2zJnb9l (509-625-6600) STAND UP FOR PITS FEAT. REBECCA CORRY The series supports shelter animals, raises national awareness for dogs and supports other pitbull “type” dog rescues around the country. Locally available “Pibbles” will be on site for adoption. Ticket sales support to the Stand Up For Pits Foundation. Featured Spokane rescues include Higher Ground Animal Sanctuary, Murci’s Mission, and The Furry Farm Rescue, with donations collected for SCRAPS. Dec. 2, 4-10 pm. $40. Spo-

kane Comedy Club, 315 W. Sprague. spokanecomedyclub.com (509-318-9998)

COMEDY

2.0PEN MIC Local comedy night hosted

by Ken McComb. Thursdays, from 8-10 pm. Free. The District Bar, 916 W. First Ave. facebook.com/districtbarspokane/ DAN CUMMINS Dan’s unusual observations and unique autobiographical standup have earned him numerous performances on The Tonight Show, Comedy Central Presents, Last Comic Standing and many other programs. Nov. 29-Dec. 1 at 7:30 pm, Dec. 1 at 10 pm. $17-$28.

Spokane Comedy Club, 315 W. Sprague. spokanecomedyclub.com GUFFAW YOURSELF! Open mic comedy night hosted by Casey Strain; Thursdays at 10 pm. Free. Neato Burrito, 827 W. First Ave. (509-847-1234) LATE LAUGHS An improv show featuring a mix of experiments with duos, teams, sketches and special guests. Events on the first and last Friday of the month at 10 pm. $7. Blue Door Theatre, 815 W. Garland. bluedoortheatre.com (747-7045) MUSICAL A new all-improvised musical comedy based on audience suggestions; when the music starts playing, BDT improvisers start singing. Fridays in November at 8 pm. $7. Blue Door Theatre, 815 W. Garland. bluedoortheatre.com STAND-UP COMEDY Live comedy featuring established and up-and-coming local comedians. Fridays at 8 pm. No cover. Red Dragon Chinese, 1406 W. Third Ave. reddragondelivery.com AFTER DARK A mature-rated version of the Blue Door’s monthly, Friday show; on the first and last Saturday of the month, at 10 pm. $7. Blue Door Theatre, 815 W. Garland. bluedoortheatre.com IMPROVISED COMEDY FOR TEENS Improv can help build communication skills, boost self-confidence and instill positive life skills. For ages 11-18. Meets first Saturday of the month from 11:30 am-1 pm, through Dec. 1. $15. Blue Door Theatre, 815 W. Garland. bluedoortheatre.com SAFARI A fast-paced improvised show relying on audience suggestions to fuel each scene. Saturdays at 8 pm. $7. Blue Door Theatre, 815 W. Garland Ave. bluedoortheatre.com (747-7045) FIRE BRIGADE IMPROV The theater’s in-house, family-friendly comedy troupe performs monthly. Upcoming shows: Dec. 2, Dec. 16, Jan. 6, Feb. 3. Starts at 7 pm. $5. Ignite! Community Theatre, 10814 E. Broadway. igniteonbroadway.org THE SOCIAL HOUR COMEDY SHOWCASE Featuring comics from the Northwest and beyond, and hosted by Deece Casillas. Sundays, from 8-9:30 pm. Free.

The Ridler Piano Bar, 718 W. Riverside Ave. socialhourpod.com (509-822-7938) IMPROV JAM SESSIONS An opportunity to try something new, brush off the rust, polish your skills and just have fun. All attendees must participate. Ages 18+. Held the first and third Monday of the month from 7-9 pm. Free. Blue Door Theatre, 815 W. Garland. bluedoortheatre.com MONDAY NIGHT COMEDY Hosted by Jared Chastain, with local acts followed by open mic. Mondays at 8 pm. Ages 21+.

Free. Etsi Bravo, 215 E. Main, Pullman. etsibravo.com (715-1037) OPEN MIC A free open mic night every Wednesday, starting at 8 pm. Doors open at 7 pm. Free. Spokane Comedy Club, 315 W. Sprague. spokanecomedyclub.com

COMMUNITY

CHRISTMAS TREE ELEGANCE The annual raffle of 18 custom-decorated trees supports the Spokane Symphony, through the Spokane Symphony Associates, and includes six trees on display at River Park Square. Raffle tickets are $1 each. Nov. 27-Dec. 9. Davenport Hotel, 10 S. Post. thedavenporthotel.com HOLIDAY LIGHTS + LAKE CRUISES Take a holiday cruise across the lake to view more than 1.5 million twinkling holiday lights and visit Santa Claus and his elves at his waterfront toy workshop. Fortyminute cruises depart daily, through Jan. 1, at 5:30, 6:30 and 7:30 pm. LIghts are on display daily. $22.25/adults; $21.25/ seniors 55+; $7.50/ages 6-12; free/ages 5 and under. The Coeur d’Alene Resort, 115 S. Second. cdaresort.com LADIES NIGHT CHRISTMAS VACATION Throw on your best Christmas sweater, grab a friend and kick off Christmas at Ritters. All proceeds support Second Harvest. The event includes live music

by Mary Chavez, appetizers, light dinner and dessert, prizes and giveaways, special pricing/discounts and more. Nov. 29, 6:30-8:30 pm. $22-$29. Ritter’s Garden & Gift, 10120 N. Division. 4ritter.com OPEN HOUSE & TREE LIGHTS Thousands of energy-efficient LED Christmas lights brighten winter nights at Vera Water and Power (601 N. Evergreen Rd.) during the holidays. Stop by to see them and enjoy hot chocolate, cookies and children’s activities. Nov. 29, 4-6:30 pm. Free. verawaterandpower.com (924-3800) WINTER BLESSING As the New Year approaches, the casino honors its roots with a night of traditional tribal storytelling, a canoe blessing and dance exhibition. Local charities will be presented with winter blessings that reach a total of $20,000.

See link for more info. Nov. 29, 6-9 pm.

Free. Coeur d’Alene Casino, 37914 S. Nukwalqw. cdacasino.com (1-800-523-2464) CRESCENT WINDOW DISPLAY UNVEILING CELEBRATION Four historic displays from the Crescent department store are displayed this holiday season in windows of The Davenport Grand along Main Ave. Displays include The Nutcracker, Whimsical Woodland and Candy Cane Forest with Santa’s Workshop. Inside the hotel is a 13-foot tall Santa Claus, temporarily donated by the White Elephant, and which formerly sat outside the Crescent every holiday season. Nov. 30, 5:30 pm.

Free. Davenport Grand Hotel, 333 W. Spokane Falls Blvd. (800-918-9344) HOLIDAY HOOPLA Kick off the season with the annual Cheney Christmas tree lighting at 5:30 pm on Fri, Nov. 30. The Library offers crafts at Santa’s workshop, along with Santa, reindeer and a hot hot cocoa bar with holiday performances. On Saturday, Dec. 1, the Mason Jar hosts free cookie decorating from 3-5 pm. cheneymerchants.org JOURNEY TO BETHLEHEM A walkthrough Christmas pageant featuring a cast of 100+ actors from eight denominations and many live animals, including sheep, goats, donkeys, and a camel. Nov. 30 from 6-8 pm and Dec. 1-2 from 5-8 pm. Free. South Hill Seventh Day Adventist Church, 5607 S. Freya. jtbspokane.org KENDALL YARDS ARTISAN FESTIVAL Shop local at this holiday marketplace offering handcrafted jewelry, art, crafts and more from over a dozen of local vendors.

See link for complete vendor list. Nov. 30 and Dec. 1 from 4-7 pm. Free. Kendall Yards, Summit Parkway. bit.ly/2JXUpqt

PINTS & PINS A casual mini pinball tournament hosted by and with prizes from Fort George Brewing. Nov. 30, 6-9 pm.

Berserk, 125 S. Stevens. bit.ly/2Q2okDA RANDOM FANDOM TRIVIA NIGHT: DUNGEONS & DRAGONS Trivia nights take on the biggest realms of fandom at the Spokane Valley Library. Costumes and cosplayers are welcome. Nov. 30, 6:30-8:30 pm. Free. Spokane Valley Library, 12004 E. Main. scld.org WALLACE RETRO CHRISTMAS The historic Silver Valley mine town becomes a storybook winter village during this two weekend celebration. See 1950s era lighted blow-molds line the streets, enjoy pet and light parades, hay rides, craft fairs, caroling and more. Nov. 30-Dec. 1 and Dec. 7-8. Free. Wallace, Idaho. wallaceidahochamber.com 1912 CENTER WINTER MARKET Local artists, craftspeople, growers and producers gather at the center throughout the winter to sell their products, including handcrafted art and artisan goods, food products and more. Dec. 1 and 8 from 10 am-2 pm. 1912 Center, 412 E. Third St., Moscow. (208-669-2249) ADVENTURE OUTPOST An alternative Christmas market; instead of a craft fair, find practical ways to get involved and make a difference in local, regional and global mission partners including Partners Int., Project id, World Relief, Family Promise and others. Also includes a petting zoo, live music, kids activities and more. Dec. 1, 10 am-3 pm. Free. Whitworth Community Presbyterian Church, 312 W. Hawthorne Rd. whitworthchurch. org/adventure-outpost (466-0305) AIRWAY HEIGHTS WINTER FESTIVAL A festive kickoff to the holiday season, with a pancake breakfast, holiday movies, community tree lighting, caroling, ornament making crafts and more. Dec. 1. Free. Airway Heights, Wash. cahw.org ANDROID STUDIO Learn how to develop apps for the Android operating system.

Ages 16+. Meets Saturdays from 9:30 am-noon from Nov. 10-Dec. 8. free. Gizmo-Cda, 1000 W. Garden Ave., Hedlund Building, Suite 142. gizmo-cda.org BING CROSBY HOUSE MUSEUM OPEN HOUSE More than 200 items are on display showing Crosby’s life and career.

Visitors can see his gold and platinum records, the Oscar he won for the film “Going My Way,” pipes, trophies, photographs from his career and personal life and other items. Dec. 1, 1-4 pm. Free.

Crosby House Museum, 508 E. Sharp Ave. bingcrosbyadvocates.org (313-3847) FRIENDS OF THE FAIRFIELD LIBRARY BOOK SALE Proceeds from the sale of used books support various library programs and services. Dec. 1, 10 am-4 pm.

Free. Fairfield Library, 305 E. Main St. scldfriends.org/events (893-8320) HOLIDAY BALL The celebration includes introductory waltz lessons, followed by dancing to music by Variety Pack. Semi formal attire. Dec. 1, 7-10 pm. $5-$9.

Ponderay Events Center, 401 Bonner Mall Way. usadancesandpoint.org LWVWA LEGISLATIVE ACTION WORKSHOP Learn from legislators, lobbyists and volunteers about how to influence legislation that you care about. Dec. 1, 9:30 am-2:30 pm. $10-$25. Woman’s Club of Spokane, 1428 W. Ninth. lwvwa. org/event-3092402/Registration PICKIN’ CHRISTMAS VINTAGE SHOW & ARTISAN MARKET The annual holiday event showcases hand-selected vendors from throughout the Northwest and be-

yond, selling vintage, antiques, artisan handcrafts, signs, handmade furniture, repurposed, upcycled and reclaimed, jewelry, soap and more. Dec. 1 from 9 am-6 pm and Dec. 2 from 10 am-4 pm. $7/weekend admission. Greyhound Park & Event Center, 5100 Riverbend Ave. pastblessingsfarm.com (208-773-0545) SANTA BREAKFAST & PHOTOS Enjoy breakfast coffee and tea with Santa and Mrs. Santa Claus, served by elves. Also includes kids activities, professional photos in Santa’s sleigh with your family, pets or children. Offered Dec. 1, 9 and 15 from 9 am-noon. $4-$10. Southside Community Center, 3151 E. 27th Ave. sssac.org SCC HOLIDAY CRAFT FAIR An event sponsored by the Environmental Science Department offering handmade arts, food and clothing. In the Lair Student Center, Bldg. 6. Dec. 1, 9 am-5 pm. Free admission. Spokane Community College, 1810 N. Greene St. (533-8657) PLUM PUDDING FESTIVAL Enjoy plum pudding, caroling, live entertainment, savory sweets and foods, and a gift basket raffle. Please bring hor d’oeuvres or dessert to share. Dec. 2, 4-6:30 pm. Free.

Veradale United Church of Christ, 611 N. Progress Rd. (926-7173) SHARING THE DHARMA DAY Sravasti Abbey, the Tibetan Buddhist monastery near Newport, invites friends and newcomers to come for a talk titled “A Healthy Diet for the Mind.” Come for guided meditation, vegetarian potluck lunch, and celebration of Lama Tsongkhapa; a great Tibetan Buddhist scholar.

On this day, we also join with Faith United to Prevent Gun Violence congregations in candlelight vigil. Dec. 2, 9:45 am-3 pm.

By donation. Sravasti Abbey, 692 Country Lane Rd. sravastiabbey.org TREE OF LIGHTS REMEMBRANCE CEREMONY The ceremony pays tribute to those we have lost through music, readings and special ornaments bearing their names. The Tree of Lights remains lit within the library throughout the holiday season for community viewing. Dec. 5, 5:30 pm. Colfax Library, 102 S. Main St. whitco.lib.wa.us (509-397-4366) GREATER MINDS COLLEGE FAIR FOR ADULTS Have you completed some college credit and no degree? Or no college credit at all? No matter your situation, Greater Minds is a free service that supports adults to and through degree completion. In the SCC Lair (building 6). Dec. 6, 4:30-6:30 pm. Free. Spokane Community College, 1810 N. Greene St. greatermindsdecembercollegefair.eventbrite.com (509-321-3623) WINTERFEST Visit with Santa Claus, see the Festival of Trees, a lighted Main Street parade, fireworks, shop local store specials and more. Dec. 6, 2:30-7 pm. Free.

Colfax Library, 102 S. Main St. whitco.lib. wa.us (397-4366) FRIENDS OF MANITO HOLIDAY LIGHTS The Gaiser Conservatory is decked out for the annual holiday lights display. Open house nights Dec. 8-9 from 4:30-7:30 pm with cookie decorating, Santa visits, poinsettias for sale and more. Lights are on display daily Dec. 7-16 from noon-7:30 pm. Free, donations accepted. Manito Park, 1800 S. Grand Blvd. bit.ly/2zMVE7o MILLWOOD TREE LIGHTING & GINGERBREAD BUILD After the annual Christmas tree lighting (6 pm), stop by the Masonic Center (3219 N. Argonne) to create a gingerbread house, with all materials provided. Dec. 7, 6:30-8:30 pm. Free.

Downtown Millwood. scld.org

NOVEMBER 29, 2018 INLANDER 55

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BY TUCK CLARRY

O

ne of the benefits of writing about cannabis has been access to products that I may have never even considered trying. I never was a big fan of edibles, but finding the right dosage of an Uncle Roaner’s taffy edible has made decompressing at home a literal and figurative treat.

In the beginning of 502, my recreational sensibility was going with whatever preroll was the best bang for my buck, planning on splitting it at some point with my roommates as we rambled around college parties or went out to a concert. But diving in, I’ve noticed how vital high-CBD strains have become to my routine.

As a bit of an overthinker and someone prone to being anxious, high-CBD, low-THC oils, cartridges and strains have been a godsend. The results have been a rebuke to the cliché stoner stigma of being foggy-brained and aloof, to that of moments of profound, clear-headedness.

Puffing on low-THC strains offers an ideal relaxation that has made the chore of dealing with social anxiety take a backseat to whatever errands or obligations I have. And shifting towards more balanced CBD and THC strains later in the evening offers that euphoria that a great night with friends debating and untangling the madness of the universe offered the first time you got properly high.

For those looking for high-CBD strains, my favorite of late has been Remedy for day use. The THC percentage is often as low as .6 percent, offering great body and mind relaxation without any of the fogginess that getting stoned would present. The earthy flavored strain is a descendant of the indica strain Afghan Skunk and the hybrid Cannatonic.

Once work is done, my go-to balanced strain is Pennywise, an indica strain that is close to one-to-one in terms of THC and CBD. It’s always been a treat to capture an uplifting high while also not feeling heavily sedated like I have with most indica strains. Finding a strain that is euphoric yet relaxing is not always easy, as many sativas are known to also cause an uptick in energy.

Throughout the year or so of deeper research in both recreational and medicinal aspects of cannabis, it’s been a treat to find the ways the drug can actually aid in daily routines rather than dictate them. n

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58 INLANDER NOVEMBER 29, 2018

EVENTS | CALENDAR

FILM

Spokane Valleys Favorite Recreational & Medical Cannabis Store Warning: This product has intoxicating effects and may be habit forming. Smoking is hazardous to your health. There may be health risks associated with the consumption of this product. This product should not be used by women that are breastfeeding or pregnant. Marijuanacan impair concentration coordination, and judgment. Do not operate a vehicle or machinery under the influence of this drug. For use only by adults twenty-one and older. Keep out of the reach of children.

THE MERCY A New York Film Critics Series film showing one night only. The Mercy tells the story of amateur sailor Donald Crowhurst and his solo attempt to circumnavigate the globe in 1968. A Q&A follows the film. Rated PG-13.

Nov. 29, 7:30-9:30 pm. $10. Panida Theater, 300 N. First. (208-255-7801) THE NUTCRACKER & THE FOUR REALMS A family-friendly, fantasy, adventure film from Disney, starring Morgan Freeman, Helen Mirren, Keira Knightley and Mackenzie Foy. Rated PG. Showing Nov. 25-Dec. 9; times vary. $5-$8. Panida Theater, 300 N. First Ave. panida.org (208-255-7801) THE OLD MAN & THE GUN The true story of Forrest Tucker (Robert Redford), from his audacious escape from San Quentin at the age of 70 to an unprecedented string of heists that confounded authorities and enchanted the public. Nov. 30-Dec. 2; times vary. $3-$7. The Kenworthy, 508 S. Main St. kenworthy.com (208-882-4127) MATINEE MOVIE CLASSICS: THE THIRD MAN KSPS Saturday Night Cinema co-host Shaun Higgins continues his series with the 1949 Carol Reed classic starring Orson Welles and Joseph Cotton, in a tale set in Occupied Vienna. Dec. 5, 1 pm. $7. The MAC, 2316 W. First Ave. northwestmuseum.org WILDLIFE Set in 1960s small town Montana, Wildlife tells the story of a teenage boy who must deal with his mother’s complicated response after his father abandons them to fight a forest fire. Dec. 6, 6:30 pm, Dec. 8, 7 pm and Dec. 9, 1:30 pm. $5-$8. Panida Theater, 300 N. First Ave. panida.org

FOOD

CHARITY PINT NIGHT One dollar from every pint sold supports the local charity All Heart Infusion, providing free nursing care to patients outside of the hospital. Nov. 29, 5-8 pm. Black Label Brewing, 19 W. Main. (309-2230) TASTEFUL THURSDAYS The series showcases and highlights the sights, sounds and tastes of the holiday season on the Palouse, including beer and winemakers, gourmet food and handmade items and more. Thursdays from Nov. 1-Dec. 20. Free. Moscow Food Coop, 121 E. 5th. (208-882-8537) VEGAN HOLIDAY FAVORITES During this special class, Raquel prepares favorite vegan holiday meal for guests to sample, and shares tips on ways to survive the holiday season. Nov. 29, 6-8 pm. $40 + ticket fees. My Fresh Basket, 1030 W. Summit Pkwy. (558-2100) ABACELA WINERY TASTING A complimentary wine tasting. Nov. 30, 3:306:30 pm. Free. Pilgrim’s Natural Market, 1316 N. Fourth St. (541-679-6642) DATE NIGHT DINNER A hands-on cooking class with individual stations for guests to cook a tasty three-course meal. BYO wine. Nov. 30, 6-8 pm. $55/ couple. Modernist Cooks & Catering, 1014 N. Pines Rd. modernistcooks.com SINGLES GAME NIGHT COOKING Join others in a kitchen full of singles and play fun games, all that while cooking or watching tasty bites being made.

Event is BYOB. Nov. 30, 7-9:30 pm. $20. Modernist Cooks & Catering, 1014 N. Pines Rd. modernistcooks.com HEALTHY EATING ON A BUDGET Par-

ticipants learn how to plan a week’s worth of meals at once to save time and money. After a brief overview of meal planning tips, class concludes with a tour showcasing the best aisles to shop at the Co-op for maximum value and minimum cost. Dec. 1, 4:30 pm. $3-$5. Moscow Food Co-op, 121 E. 5th St. moscowfood.coop/classes SIP OF BEVERLY’S An introductory wine class and tasting event with Beverly’s Sommelier Trevor Treller. Interactive sessions include appetizers and featured wines at discounted bottle prices. First Saturday of the month, at 3 pm. Ages 21+. $25. Beverly’s, 115 S. Second St. beverlyscda.com CHRISTMAS INDULGENCE Indulge in sweet and savory delights prepared by Chef LJ Klink, along with the sounds of Mercy Seat, performing re-imagined traditional songs and new seasonal reflections. Dec. 2, 4:30 pm. $40-$60.

Mont Lamm Events, 7501 Enoch Rd. montlammfarmtotable.com SUNDAY BRUNCH WITH SANTA The resort’s legendary brunch features salads, fruit and traditional breakfast fare such as Italian sausage and brown sugar bacon. In December, Santa makes a special visit. Dec. 2, 9, 16 and 23 from 9 am-noon. $18-$35. Dockside Restaurant, 115 S. Second St., Coeur d’Alene Resort, Lobby Floor. bit.ly/2gjlPqE REININGER WINERY DINNER A sixcourse dinner complemented by wines from Walla Walla’s Reininger Winery, and with special guest, winemaker Chuck Reininger. Reservations required. Dec. 3. $85. Lodgepole, 106 N. Main St. lodgepolerestaurant.com COMMUNITY COOKING CLASSES The Kitchen at Second Harvest provides nutrition information, scratch cooking skills, budgeting, and more. See website for dates and times; typically meets Tue and Wed from 5:30-7 pm.

Free. Second Harvest Food Bank, 1234 E. Front Ave. secondharvestkitchen.org CREATOR IN RESIDENCE: CATEE NG Catee is a self-taught baker and decorator, and now teaches classes at local libraries and other venues. Each week during her residency, she’ll be completing a new project. See her working on Dec. 4, 12 and 18 from 4-6 pm; Fridays in Dec. from 1-3 pm and Dec. 27 from 6-8 pm. Free. North Spokane Library, 44 E. Hawthorne Rd. scld.org OLD WORLD WINTER FEAST A fivecourse Old World-inspired dinner featuring wild game and barrel-aged beer pairings from Bellwether Brewing Co. Dec. 4, 6 pm. $65. Elliotts, an Urban Kitchen, 2209 N. Monroe. bit. ly/2Dnk36S (866-0850)

MUSIC

EWU JAZZ CONCERT EWU Jazz bands’ fall concert, directed by Jenny Kellogg and others. In the Music Building Recital Hall. Nov. 29, 7:30 pm. $3$5. Eastern Washington University, 526 Fifth St., Cheney. ewu.edu GU JAZZ CHRISTMAS CONCERT A multimedia experience that includes selections by the Gonzaga Jazz Ensemble and the Jazz Combos performing the music of “A Charlie Brown Christmas.” Nov. 29, 7 pm. $5/general; free/GU ID, seniors, military, students.

Gonzaga University Hemmingson Center, 702 E. Desmet Ave. gonzaga.edu/ music (313-6737)

NOVEMBER 29, 2018 INLANDER 59

RELATIONSHIPS

Advice Goddess TEETOTALLY AWESOME

I’m a recovering addict, five years sober. My ex-boyfriend was a “normie” (12-step slang for someone who hasn’t had addiction issues), and there were definitely things he just didn’t get. Do I need to date another recovering addict to feel understood? I’ve done that before, and I really don’t like it. It’s like living in a recovery bubble 24/7. —Sober A person who doesn’t have a history of addiction can understand the need to take the edge off. They’ll even admit to doing it themselves — with a cup of chamomile tea.

Though “normies” tend to view addicts as lazy, an addict’s shame sometimes comes out of typically impressive qualities — like creativity and industriousness — being applied to getting loaded. Take author and former comedian Amy Dresner. In her addiction memoir, “My Fair Junkie,” she writes about suffering a grand mal seizure while shooting cocaine. Realizing that she could’ve cracked her head open, she had an epiphany — no, not to stop shooting coke but to strap on a bike helmet before doing it.

As shocking as this would be to most normie men, there are those who could still be a good partner to someone in recovery — if they’re willing to put some work into empathizing. However, it turns out there are different kinds of empathy. In short, “I feel ya” empathy is different from “I understand you” empathy. “I feel ya” is dumb empathy, the kind that just pops up automatically, without any mental effort on our part. Researchers call this auto-empathy “affective empathy,” because “affect” is researcher-speak for the observable expression of emotion (in a person’s face, body, or voice). Affective empathy involves “emotional contagion,” in which you “catch” and then automatically experience somebody’s emotion, to some degree. (It’s basically the emotional version of the mythical “contact high.”)

“I understand you” empathy, on the other hand, is “cognitive empathy,” a psychological skill that psychologists also call “perspective-taking.” It involves a conscious mental effort to put yourself in another person’s shoes — to understand their point of view, motivations, and/or emotions. Research by business school professor Cynthia Wang and her colleagues finds that an ability for perspective-taking correlates with reduced prejudice and stronger social bonds. This suggests that a man who engages in it might be more likely to see you as, well... rehabulous — sober and fabulous — a person who overcame her addiction issues instead of a bunch of addiction issues with a person attached.

Finally, because you’ve probably done serious soul-searching and character correction in getting and staying sober, a man who’s a good match for you is probably one who’s taken some hard looks at himself and worked to remodel where necessary.

Ideally, he’ll help you feel comfortable opening up to him by being open about his own current and former shortcomings. (Try not to laugh when he reveals deeply shameful lapses...like once stress-eating five cookies at a party.)

AMY ALKON

HER BETA HALF

In a documentary on Lady Gaga, she talked about how whenever she reached a new pinnacle of success, her boyfriend or fiance left her. It happened three times. My most recent boyfriend couldn’t handle it when I started to become successful. Are my options to be successful and alone or unsuccessful and loved? How do I find someone who won’t feel threatened? —Disturbed It’s often hard for a man who’s achieved less than the woman he’s with. She introduces him with “Meet my boyfriend...” and he imagines everybody finishing her thought with “...the man whose job it is to eat treats out of my hand like a squirrel.”

Wave hello to “precarious manhood,” a term coined by psychologists Jennifer Bosson and Joseph Vandello for how a man’s social status must be continually earned and “can be lost relatively easily” through public failures and the exposure of his shortcomings. We rack up our social standing in comparison with others. So, not surprisingly — in line with research I recently cited about men’s freakouts when they were told a woman beat them in every category on an exam — Bosson and Vandello write that “feelings of masculinity can be undone” by “being outperformed by a woman.”

The reality is, the world is not our dating oyster. (Atheists have to take a pass on the hot churchgoers. The teetotalers go poorly with the “social crack smokers.”) Accept that success narrows your options, and concentrate on meeting men in places the honchos (or at least the highly successful) hang out. (Price points — like costly admission to a charity event — are one way to weed out many of those of middling achievement.) Narrowing the field this way should make you less likely to hear dismaying parting words from a man -- those that basically translate to “I have mad respect for your success. My penis, unfortunately, has some ambivalence.“ n ©2018, Amy Alkon, all rights reserved. • Got a problem? Write Amy Alkon, 171 Pier Ave, #280, Santa Monica, CA 90405 or email AdviceAmy@aol.com (www.advicegoddess.com)

60 INLANDER NOVEMBER 29, 2018

EVENTS | CALENDAR SPOKANE SYMPHONY: THE NUTCRACKER E.T.A. Hoffman’s story of Clara and the Nutcracker Prince is brought to life by the State Street Ballet and more than 75 local dancers. Tchaikovsky’s score is performed live by the Spokane Symphony. This year marks the collaborative show’s 40th anniversary. Nov. 29-Dec. 1 at 7:30 pm; Dec. 1-2 at 2 pm. $17.50-$82. Martin Woldson Theater at The Fox, 1001 W. Sprague. foxtheaterspokane.com (624-1200) COEUR D’ALENE SYMPHONY HOLIDAY JOY CONCERT “Holiday Joy from Scandinavia” with Chorale Coeur d’Alene, featuring Sibelius’ Symphony No. 5, selections from Grieg’s Holberg Suite, Handel’s Messiah and more, including holiday pops. Nov. 30 at 7:30 pm and Dec. 1 at 2 pm. $10-$20.

Kroc Center, 1765 W. Golf Course Rd. cdasymphony.org (208-765-3833) EWU CHORAL Choral music performed

by EWU choirs, directed by Kristina Ploeger-Hekmatpanah. Nov. 30, 7:30 pm. $3-$5. Central Lutheran Church, 512 S. Bernard St. (624-9233) CHRISTMAS CABARET Pages of Harmony’s annual holiday concert, featuring guest quartets, raffle, silent auction, visit from Santa and a turkey dinner (6 pm). Dec. 1, 5:30 pm. $10-$18. Valley Assembly of God, 15618 E. Broadway Ave. pagesofharmony.org (218-9033) K-POP EVENT The event offers a discussion about Korean pop music’s success and shares some examples.

Students from the Spokane Korean Language School perform dances and teach some moves. Dec. 1, 10:30 amnoon. Free. Moran Prairie Library, 6004 S. Regal St. (448-4311) GONZAGA SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA World-renowned cellist Lynn Harrell returns to Spokane to perform with the Gonzaga Symphony. Dec. 3, 7:30 pm. $13-$16. Martin Woldson Theater at The Fox, 1001 W. Sprague. (624-1200) WEDNESDAY NIGHT CONTRA DANCE The Spokane Folklore Society’s weekly dance, with the band River City Ramblers and caller Larry Simmons. Dec. 5, 7:30-9:30 pm. $5-$7. Woman’s Club of Spokane, 1428 W. Ninth. (838-5667) NW BACHFEST WINTER CLASSICS: PIANO QUARTET A program featuring works by Arensky, Bach, Brahms, Mozart and more, performed by Benjamin Breen (violin), Martin Sher (viola), Zuill Bailey (cello) and Awadagin Pratt (piano). Dec. 6, 7 pm. $40. Hagadone Event Center, 900 S. Floating Green Dr. nwbachfest.com (888-999-7998)

THEATER

ANNIE Based on the popular comic strip by Harold Gray. Through Dec. 9; Thu-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. $23$25. Lake City Playhouse, 1320 E. Garden Ave. (208-673-7529) A CHARLIE BROWN CHRISTMAS The classic animated television special comes to life in this faithful stage adaptation. Nov. 29-Dec. 15; Thu-Sat at 7 pm; Sat at 2 pm. Liberty Lake Community Theatre, 22910 E. Appleway Ave., Ste. 2. libertylaketheatre.com CONSTELLATIONS This spellbinding, romantic journey begins with a simple encounter between a man and a woman. Through Dec. 2; Thu-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. $14-$27. Spokane Civic Theatre, 1020 N. Howard. (325-2507) ELF THE MUSICAL Based on the cher-

ished 2003 film comes this staged version of the story of Buddy the elf.

Through Dec. 23; Thu-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. $15-$32. Spokane Civic Theatre, 1020 N. Howard. (325-2507) ELLEN TRAVOLTA PRESENTS: CHRISTMAS UNWRAPPED This year’s show is directed by Troy Nickerson and features the talents of Ellen and Margaret Travolta, Molly Allen, Mark Cotter, Abbey Crawford, Patrick Treadway, Laura Sable and Lola Fridley. Through Dec. 16, Thu-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 5 pm. $27.50. The Coeur d’Alene Resort, 115 S. Second. cdaresort.com CHRISTMAS TOWN Northwoods Performing Arts’ annual holiday show, directed by Mark D. Caldwell. Includes dinner-theater option. Nov. 30-Dec. 8; Fri-Sat at 7:30 pm; dinner at 6:30 pm. $10-$35. Circle Moon Theater, 3642 N. State Route 211, Newport. northwoodsperformingarts.com (208-448-1294) DAISY In 1964, the landscape of political advertising was changed forever by one ad, explored in this contemporary script. Through Dec. 2; Fri-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. $20. Stage Left Theater, 108 W. Third Ave. stageleft.org HARRY CONNICK, JR.’S THE HAPPY ELF A new musical comedy by the Grammy Award-winning and Tony Award-nominated composer and lyricist. Through Dec. 16; Fri at 7 pm; Sat-Sun at 2 pm. $10-$14. Spokane Children’s Theatre, 2727 N. Madelia. spokanechildrenstheatre.org A MIDWINTER NIGHT’S DREAM Enjoy a holiday interpretation of Shakespeare’s classic tale about the mystery, magic and transformative power of love. Nov. 30, Dec. 1, 6, 8 at 7:30 pm; Dec. 1-2 and 9 at 2 pm. $15/general.

Hartung Theater, 875 Perimeter Dr. uidaho.edu/class/theatre/productionsand-events (208-885-6465) THE GIFT OF THE MAGI A beautiful, sympathetic and warmly human dramatic musical adaptation of the classic O. Henry story. Nov. 30, Dec. 1 and Dec. 8 at 6:30 and 8:30 pm; Dec. 7 at 6:30 pm; Dec. 2 and 9 at noon. $15/general.

The Forge Theater, 404 Sweet Ave. uidaho.edu/class/theatre/productionsand-events IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE: A RADIO PLAY Based on the classic holiday movie, staged as a live radio broadcast.

Nov. 27-Dec. 19; Tue-Wed at 7:30 pm. $15-$20. Best Western Coeur d’Alene, 506 W. Appleway. (208-765-3200) FESTIVAL OF SHORTS Whitworth’s annual festival is directed by students in the directing class. Dec. 5-6 at 7:30 pm.

In the Cowles Auditorium Stage II. Free.

Whitworth University, 300 W. Hawthorne Rd. whitworth.edu (777-3707) POPOVICH COMEDY PET THEATER A European-style circus extravaganza including comedy, juggling, acrobats, trained dogs and cats. Dec. 6, 7 pm. $25-$30. Bing Crosby Theater, 901 W. Sprague. bingcrosbytheater.com

VISUAL ARTS

YOU FOCUS ON THINGS & THEY EXPAND Local poets and Laboratory artist-in-residence Lauren Holden present a night filled with poetry, featuring readings by local poets and the debut of an exhibition of interactive visual poetry. Nov. 29, 7-8 pm. Free. Community-Minded Television, 104 W. Third. bit. ly/2OS1TMN (509-230-5718)

HOLIDAY MARKET Shop for pottery, jewelry, fiber art, prints, fresh wreaths and more. Nov. 30, 6-9 pm, Dec. 1, 10 am-6 pm; and Dec. 2, 10 am-4 pm. Urban Art Co-op, 3209 N. Monroe. urbanartcoop.org HOLIDAY POTTERY SALE Shop for locally handmade pottery from the studio’s members. Nov. 30 from 4-8 pm and Dec. 1 from 10 am-2 pm. Spokane Potters’ Guild, 1404 N. Fiske. spokanepottersguild.org (532-8225) LR MONTGOMERY STUDIO SHOW & OPEN HOUSE The Spokane artist’s open house and studio show/sale, “NW Landscape Paintings,” is open to the public. Nov. 30 from 3-9 pm, Dec. 1 from 10 am-9 pm and Dec. 2 from 12-5 pm.

Free. LR Montgomery Studio & Gallery, 428 E. 21st. LRMontgomery.com SARANAC SMALL WORKS SALE The annual show features small, original works of art by Saranac members and invited guests. Opening receptions Nov. 30 and Dec. 7 from 5-8 pm. Closing day Dec. 22, 12-8 pm. Open Thu 2-6 pm and Fri-Sat 12-8 pm. Saranac Art Projects, 25 W. Main Ave. saranacartprojects.org ILLUMINATA CHRISTMAS OPEN HOUSE The Bank Left Gallery & Bistro celebrates its 14th holiday open house with new work by Palouse artists, including wood carvings, paintings, vintage and new Christmas ornaments, handmade Santas, a Christmas bakery and luncheon (12-2 pm) and more. Dec. 1, 10 am-3 pm. Bank Left Gallery, 100 S. Bridge St. bankleftgallery.com MAC HOLIDAY ARTIST STUDIO TOUR Visit 8 local artists in their studios to see where they create and how they work.

Art is also for sale. Dec. 1, 10 am-4 pm. $10-$20. northwestmuseum.org

WORDS

AN EVENING WITH RICK STEVES The travel author and TV host presents “Travel as a Political Act.” Nov. 29, 7 pm. $10-$40. Bing Crosby Theater, 901 W. Sprague. bingcrosbytheater.com SPOKANE POETRY SLAM Spoken word warriors battle for a $50 grand prize. Each poem is judged by five audience members, and after two rounds of poetry, the poet with the highest cumulative score is declared winner. Doors open at 7 pm. $5. The Bartlett, 228 W. Sprague Ave. spokanepoetryslam.org BROKEN MIC Spokane Poetry Slam’s longest-running, weekly open mic reading series, open to all readers and all-ages. Wednesdays at 6:30 pm. Free.

Neato Burrito, 827 W. First. (847-1234) JAN BRETT: THE SNOWY NAP The beloved and bestselling children’s author hosts a drawing demonstration and signing of her new book, “The Snowy Nap,” the prequel to her bestselling classic, “The Hat.” Dec. 7, 5 pm. Moscow High School, 402 E. 5th St. bookpeopleofmoscow.com (208-882-2669) BOOK LAUNCH: JOSEPHINE BAKER’S LAST DANCE Celebrate the launch of Sherry Jones’s new novel, about the life and times of the 20th-century entertainer, spy, and Civil Rights activist Josephine Baker. Includes music

by Madeline McNeill, video footage of Josephine, and Charleston lessons.

1920s costumes are optional! Books will be for sale at the event, or bring your own copy for Sherry to sign. At 1507 E. Sprague. Dec. 7, 6-10 pm. Free. bit. ly/2QCU7bf n

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NOVEMBER 29, 2018 INLANDER 61

COEUR D ’ ALENE

visitcda.org for more events, things to do & places to stay.

December 8th Live Neigh-tivity Scene

Free fun with hot cocoa & coffee

One-stop shopping

Make Coeur d’Alene your destination for everyone on your list

O

ne-stop shopping is a time-saver: gifts for anyone or any reason on your list, fewer miles per gallon and good eats nearby should you need to refuel. Sure you have choices — online, megastores, malls — yet shopping at locally owned businesses helps sustain communities. Plus, in downtown Coeur d’Alene, it’s fun!

Animal Petting Stable Petting stables with animals from the manger.

1-4pm at Sherman Square Downtown

Come See Santa

and his Vintage Fire Truck

Visit with Santa for kids of all ages.

4-6pm at 2nd & Sherman Courtesy of the CDA Fire Department

Canned food donations to the CDA Fire Department are appreciated.

Coeur d’Alene Downtown Association 62 INLANDER NOVEMBER 29, 2018

Take advantage of the Lake City’s abundant parking — first two hours streetside are free! — and make a day of it. For the boho-chic on your shopping list, check out LUCKY MONKEY TRADING COMPANY (412 Sherman Ave.) and GRACE AND JOY (formerly Santosha) inside the RESORT PLAZA SHOPS. While you’re there, find something for the outdoor enthusiasts on your list at FINAN MCDONALD. For gifts that truly sparkle, try SUPER SILVER (414 Sherman Ave.) and CLARK’S JEWELERS, family owned for more than 100 years (307 Sherman Ave.).

If your holiday tradition includes a keepsake ornament for the tree, go to

SPECIAL ADVERTISING SECTION

CHRISTMAS AT THE LAKE (519 Sherman Ave.). Another option? SUMMER’S GLASS, where they’ll even teach you to make your own ornament (211 Sherman Ave.).

Filling a basket with goodies is a great way to share your hometown with faraway friends and family. Snag something with the resort logo at the RESORT LOGO SHOP inside the Coeur d’Alene Resort (115 S. Second St.) or go casual with clothing from the clever folks at CDA ID CLOTHING COMPANY (Resort Plaza Shops). Browse local and handmade gifts, food items and décor at MARKETPLACE GIFTS (Resort Plaza Shops), as well as COEUR D’ALENE FRESH (317 E. Coeur d’Alene Ave.). And if you’d rather leave the basket-filling to the pros, check out POSSIBILITIES for gift baskets sure to impress (211 1/2 Sherman Ave.).

Keep your significant other warm this winter with sheepskin-lined slippers from THE LEATHERWORKS (215 Sherman Ave). Or talk to the experts at FLEET FEET SPORTS (511 Sherman Ave.) about the

best footwear for your exercise routine. Rather ride than walk? Be ready for spring with a new bike from COEUR D’ALENE BIKE CO (314 N. Third St.).

For the art lovers on your list, Coeur d’Alene is chock-full of places to awe and inspire, including ANGEL GALLERY OF FINE ART & ANTIQUES (423 Sherman Ave.), BLACKWELL GALLERY (205 Sherman Ave.), ART SPIRIT GALLERY (415 Sherman Ave.) and STUDIO 107 (503 Sherman Ave.), where you can also get a bite to eat and a glass of wine to end your perfect day downtown.

C O E U R

L I G H T S . FA M I LY.

D ’A L E N E

Upcoming Events Christmas Unwrapped NOVEMBER 30-DECEMBER 16

Each season, the Coeur d’Alene Resort features an original holiday theater production by Ellen Travolta, capturing the spirit of the Christmas season. This year’s production, Christmas Unwrapped, promises a night of music, laughter and stories brought to life

by Ellen and Margaret Travolta, Molly Allen, Abbey Crawford and more. Thursday-Saturday, 7:30 pm; Sundays, 5 pm; Coeur d’Alene Resort.

Holiday Light Show NOVEMBER 29-JANUARY 1

Holiday traditions are made in Coeur d’Alene at the Resort’s Holiday Light Show, which features more than 1.5 million lights in one of the most elaborate holiday displays in America. Walk the boardwalk at the Coeur d’Alene Resort and experience the wonder, or better yet, take a Journey to the North Pole cruise to visit Santa’s workshop. Each cruise culminates with Santa calling your child’s name and a brilliant fireworks display. For tickets and cruise hours, see visitcda.org.

Eagle Watching Cruises DECEMBER 1-JANUARY 1

Our nightly fireworks show is bigger and better than ever!

Experience the magic on every Journey to the North Pole cruise.

Ignite your holiday spirit at the Coeur d’Alene Resort.

The eagles arrived early in North Idaho this year.

See them in their splendor from the comfort of a Coeur d’Alene Resort cruise boat. Tickets $24.24$26.25; 1-3 pm; 855-379-5478.

For more events, things to do & places to stay, go to VisitCDA.org

SANTA’S FAMILY GETAWAY PACKAGES

209

$ FR OM

*

Includes: • Overnight accommodations • Two Journey to the North Pole Cruise tickets • $30 dining credit • Special milk & cookie delivery to your room by Santa’s Elves! *Based on availability.

40 nights. 1.5 million lights.

COEUR D’ALENE

CDARESORT.COM 866/47 1.27 16

SPONSORED BY THE COEUR D’ALENE CONVENTION & VISITORS BUREAU

NOVEMBER 29, 2018 INLANDER 63