Inlander 09/03/2015

NEWS DAY ONE AT A CHARTER SCHOOL 13 SPORTS COLLEGE FOOTBALL PREVIEW 35 EVENTS THE WEEK’S BEST BETS 60

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WO R S T JO B S Battling boredom, rats, Black Friday crowds and a spirit-crushing “acting” job PAG E 20 SUPPLEMENT TO THE INLANDER

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EDITOR’S NOTE

Suzette Alfonso

A

good job leaves a person feeling empowered, valued, maybe even connected to something bigger, a purpose in life. This week, in honor of Labor Day, we look at the opposite: the WORST JOBS — the comic tragedy of mindless, soul-crushing work we inevitably have to do (hopefully in short stints) over the course of our lives. Among the 10 true stories (starting on page 20), you’ll read about Daniel Walters cleaning up after rich people, Jake Thomas flushing the financial lives of the poor, Kris Dinnison facing off with a puppy-sized rat and Chey Scott slinging panties at Victoria’s Secret. Also this week: Find our COLLEGE FOOTBALL PREVIEW in Culture (page 35) and coverage of PIG OUT IN THE PARK in Food (page 44) and Music (page 57).

Finally, in News, read about the finalists for Spokane’s POLICE OMBUDSMAN (page 19) — for we all have a stake in police oversight.

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INLANDER SPOKANE • EASTERN WASHINGTON • NORTH IDAHO • INLANDER.COM 1227 WEST SUMMIT PARKWAY, SPOKANE, WA 99201 PHONE: 509-325-0634 | EMAIL: INFO@INLANDER.COM THE INLANDER is a locally owned, independent newspaper founded on Oct. 20, 1993. Printed on newsprint that is at least 50 percent recycled; please recycle THE INLANDER after you’re done with it. One copy free per person per week; extra copies are $1 each (call x226). For ADVERTISING information, email advertising@inlander.com. To have a SUBSCRIPTION mailed to you, call x213 ($50 per year). To find one of our more than 1,000 NEWSRACKS where you can pick up a paper free every Thursday, call x226 or email justinh@inlander.com. THE INLANDER is a member of the Association of Alternative Newsmedia. All contents of this newspaper are protected by United States copyright law. © 2015, Inland Publications, Inc.

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BY ROBERT HEROLD

O

pposition to the Iran nuclear treaty is driven largely by ideologically motivated, anti-Obama Republicans supported by a few pandering Democrats. Their strategy to defeat the president? They are willingly and enthusiastically playing Charlie McCarthy to Benjamin Netanyahu’s Edgar Bergen.

But the opposition ranks are breaking; fissures are beginning to show. Consider the following list of Israeli security and military leaders who have signed a letter supporting the treaty: Shlomo Gazit, chief of intelligence and a major general; Carmi Gillon, director of the Israel Security Agency; Ami Ayalon, vice admiral, former head of Israel’s secret service; Itamar Yaar, colonel deputy of the Israeli National Security Council; Arie Pellman, Israeli Security Agency official; Amiram Levin, deputy to the director of Mossad and a major general; Itzhak Barzilay, a Mossad official; and Nathan Sharony, major general and head of planning for the armed forces.

In addition, some 36 Israeli admirals and generals also signed the letter, including Uzi Eilam, brigadier general and the director of Israel’s Atomic Energy Commission.

Meanwhile, upward of 40 American generals and admirals, plus a long list of national security leaders, including two former national security advisors and a former Secretary of State, also say they also support the treaty.

As for American Jewish opinion, 340 rabbis are urging support for the treaty, and polls show that American Jews favor the treaty by at least a 20-point spread.

Regarding the tenor and source of the opposition coming from Prime Minister Netanyahu’s Israeli base (which is mirrored in right-wing America), Bernard Avishai, himself an Israeli, writes about his experience with a local Jewish cheese merchant. Asked by the merchant what he thinks about Israel’s election, which returned Netanyahu to power, Avishai responds, “Are you out of your mind? I feel shame for this country.” Which leads the merchant into hysterics: “Obama is putting the country at risk! Soon we will have missiles at Ben Gurion Airport!”

Wherever the source, whether inside the Republican caucus or at a cheese shop in Israel, the opposition is the seemingly the same: hysterical.

G

iven all the international intrigue fueling all this hysteria, President Obama might reasonably have responded to his critics with something like the following statement: While we must always take into account vital interests of our allies, American national security interests must remain our internal responsibility.

It is not the business of other nations to make American foreign policy.

Of course Obama never said that; the credit goes to none other than President Ronald Rea-

gan, who, during a press conference, directed these remarks at Israel’s conservative government.

The story: Because Reagan had decided to sell arms to Saudi Arabia, Israel’s Prime Minister Menachem Begin, the Netanyahu of his era, accused Reagan of treating Israel as a “vassal state” and condoning second-hand charges that Reagan was anti-Semitic. (Sound familiar?)

It seems clear that the current attack, certainly from inside Washington, D.C., is not just about the treaty, nor even primarily about the treaty. (And this is really a treaty that can’t be renegotiated; its opponents know this.) What we see here is another round of posturing by the coterie of knee-jerk, anti-Obama Republicans. In other words, this is business as usual — the same old game — albeit this time with world peace at stake.

B

ut as the public girds to hear, once again, Republican candidates each laying claim to being the second coming of The Gipper, might we pause to consider the irony? Not only would Reagan have refused to go along with his party’s Iran-treaty hysterics, he would not fit in with today’s version of his party across a broad spectrum of issues.

Yes, Reagan made political hay out of that alchemy called the “Laffer curve” — the fiscal version of “the rain follows the plow” — but as H.W. Brands argues in his new book Reagan: The Life, Reagan’s conservative rhetoric served to mask his preferred pragmatism, which led him to take positions that would “disqualify him from good standing in today’s conservative movement.”

At the top of the list was his support for tax increases throughout the ’80s. He also supported liberalization of abortion laws in California; opposed right-to-work laws; supported immigration reform; supported gun control; had no hostility toward homosexuality (in fact, he and Nancy once left their kids in care of a lesbian couple prior to going on a vacation); strongly opposed a California ballot measure that would have barred gays and lesbians from teaching in public schools; rejected Israel’s permanent retention of the West Bank; opposed new settlement construction; and promoted a land-for-peace exchange for Palestine. He even signed a treaty of his own with “the Evil Empire,” aka the Soviet Union.

Later at that same press conference, Reagan was asked if he was losing patience with Israel.

His blunt answer? “I lost patience a long time ago.”

Sometimes The Gipper could get right to the nub of the matter. n

COMMENT | PUBLISHER’S NOTE

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Everybody’s Business

BY TED S. McGREGOR JR.

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ince our writers are sharing their Labor Day stories this week, I guess I’d better get into the act. One of my first newspaper jobs, out in the Boston ’burbs, was to cover the affluent towns of Dover and Sherborn, Massachusetts, where life was so sleepy that a raccoon getting a peanut butter jar stuck on its head was big news.

(Yes, I broke that story.)

I went to my first Board of Selectmen meeting (like our city council), and… yawn. The reporter from the other paper and I were the only ones in the audience.

The biggest thing that Dover and Sherborn had going for them, along with their bucolic setting, was the school district they shared — one of the top districts in the state. People literally begged, stole and borrowed to move to these towns to give their kids a leg up. At my first School Board meeting, the room was packed, with parents lined up out the door to cajole and/or berate the board members into correct decisions.

You’ve got to love those those flinty New Englanders: Go ahead and wreck the town all you want, but you will only mess up this school district over our dead bodies.

And that leads to Spokane Public Schools and the Spokane Education Association trying to finalize a new contract. We all hope that will have happened by the time you read this column, but it won’t be the end of the story.

The teachers and staff are justified to be irritated. Like a lot of people, they were hit by the recession; they have waited, the legislature finally acted and now they deserve a raise. And they are also right to stand up for themselves — that’s a lesson I want my own kids to learn.

But there’s more to their grievance than just pay; protests also veer into how education money is being spent, including complaints about too much testing and too few teachers. There are profound philosophical questions, along with hard financial realities, baked into this debate. Here at the Inlander, we’re preparing to cover these issues in depth in the coming year.

I wound up doing some behind-the-scenes reporting at Dover-Sherborn Regional High School, and the community support really did create an impressive institution. It showed me that public education is everybody’s business. I’ve found our local schools to be impressive, too — the switch to all-day kindergarten being a recent success, along with improving graduation rates. The administration and the teachers all share the proud calling of education, and they each bring particular gifts to the team. When they put it all together, our kids win. 

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COMMENT | HIGHER EDUCATION

CALEB WALSH ILLUSTRATION

Enough is Enough Too many students are being sexually assaulted on our college campuses

BY PAUL DILLON

T

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here’s a slight chill in the air, night comes quicker and the changing of leaves is almost upon us — the time of the year when students arrive at college, and I’m reminded how the big first steps on campus are an exciting experience. Or it could be a nightmare, when one in five women attending college will be a victim of rape or some form of sexual assault, and 6 percent of men are sexually assaulted during their college years. (Campus sexual assault is a definitely not a gender-specific issue, but women represent most victims.)

It’s become so widespread, the Centers for Disease Control determined that sexual violence poses a public health crisis. Since 2014, 96 colleges and universi-

ties nationwide, from Amherst to Berkeley, have been under investigation by the United States Department of Education’s Office for Civil Rights for violation of Title IX — the federal law that protects against discrimination in education — relating to how they have handled sexual violence cases.

Washington State University is one of these schools, with a total of 96 complaints to be settled by the investigation; already, Pullman police are investigating an alleged rape that occurred two weeks ago involving a fraternity member. WSU has made stronger efforts to raise awareness, but it’s not good enough. This case is the latest in a disastrous epidemic. The Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network reports college-aged women are four times more likely than any other age group to face sexual assault.

If you haven’t seen this year’s documentary The Hunting Ground, you must. An exposé on campus sexual assaults, it follows the institutional cover-ups and the brutal social toll on victims and their families, while examining specific cases involving fraternities and studentathletes, most notably Jameis Winston — the Tampa Bay Buccaneers’ No. 1 overall NFL draft pick in 2015 — who was accused of rape by Erica Kinsman while both were in college at Florida State. Police intentionally bungled the case and charges were swept under the rug. Considered alongside Missoula: Rape and the Justice System in a College Town by Jon Krakauer, which explores how the University of Montana and the Missoula city and county governments mishandled sexual assault cases, a sordid pattern emerges. Krakauer says that less than 4 percent of college students also are athletes; however, studentathletes commit 19 percent of sexual assaults on campus.

In the Greek system, fraternity brothers are three times more likely than their non-affiliated peers to commit rape. Meanwhile, the courts haven’t caught up.

In an evil twist, the political wing of the nation’s fraternities (and sororities) lobbies Congress to make it more difficult for colleges to investigate sexual assault allegations. The Fraternity and Sorority Political Action Committee, fittingly called FratPAC, wants “a requirement that the criminal justice system resolve cases before universities look into them or hand down punishments.”

Gun-rights advocates such as Students For Concealed Carry have stooped as low as to argue for arming female college students to help curb campus sexual assault.

There’s hope. New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo created “Enough Is Enough” legislation that defines consent with a “yes means yes” policy, requiring both parties to give a clear, affirmative agreement.

With strong bipartisan support this year, the Washington State Legislature passed a bill, signed into law by Gov. Jay Inslee, that mandates campus violence assessments to gauge the prevalence of sexual assault and establishes a uniform process for investigations and disciplinary proceedings, regardless of the categories of students, such as fraternity members and athletes. It also requires campuses to ensure that all students are informed of their policies and procedures on sexual violence and on Title IX. We need to continue the work from this past session, take an honest look at the statistics and stories coming out of our colleges, and act accordingly to end the era of neglect when it comes to sexual assault on campuses.

Enough is truly enough. n Paul Dillon is the Eastern Washington Program Director for YMCA Youth & Government, teaching democracy to youth through hands-on civic engagement.

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COMMENT | FROM READERS

EDUCATION VS. ARREST our recent piece on the plight of Jared Conger (“Flip of a Coin,”

Y

8/20/15) illustrates several issues somewhat beyond the scope of this well-written and reported incident. Like Jared, I was pulled over in my early driving years for a minor traffic mistake by the [California Highway Patrol] in Northern California. As I had just completed EMT training and secured an ambulance driving certification, I found myself terrified with the prospect of losing both of those.

The officer in my situation responded much differently than Jared’s Deputy Todd Miller. He proceeded to calm me down, ask some reasonable questions, and educated me on becoming a better driver without “profiling” or bullying me in any way whatsoever. I didn’t need to be arrested, interrogated or subjected to what would have been a massive and burdensome financial hit; he understood that intuitively.

The results of my own earliest police traffic encounter leave me to believe that my subsequent driving record of zero moving violations or accidents over 43 years as a licensed driver were, in part, due to excellent and compassionate policing.

I have no doubt that Deputy Miller has had excellent training as a certified drug recognition expert, and that impaired driving is a major problem on roadways everywhere. My personal background includes working in a toxicology reference lab, drawing blood from DUI suspects, and testifying in court. But I simply can’t help but wonder if Deputy Miller might be more successful in his mission of “protecting and serving” by exhibiting the same judgment and wisdom that the CHP officer who pulled me over so long ago seemed to have.

JOHN BERNING Spokane, Wash.

Reactions to a blog (8/28/15) about Spokane police ombudsman candidate Allen Huggins’ online commentary relating to use of force and the Black Lives Matter movement:

BLAINE MATTHEW: I don’t think anyone is saying he should be disqualified merely for commenting or opining on issues; it’s the content of those comments that matter; and given the content of his comments he absolutely should be disqualified.

MALCOLM ERICKSON: It’s obviously absurd to have a former or current police officer as ombudsman. They need to be a civilian, perhaps a criminal defense lawyer, or public defender. Not police or prosecutors.

DARCY HILDEBRAND: In Spokane the incidents of concern with police violence have generally involved whites rather than people of color.

The point is that it is the violent actions of the law enforcement in Spokane County against citizens that has me concerned, and not the color of the citizen’s skin who is receiving the violence. It is not just violence against black people that have people concerned and outraged. I think his comments are inappropriate for a person applying for the job of police ombudsman and demonstrates he is lacking in qualities necessary for the job. I hope he is not chosen.

BARB LEE: We have been waiting so long for this position to be a real force for justice and so many have worked against it. Hiring this man would be the perfect way to finally destroy the ombudsman position. 

SEPTEMBER 3, 2015 INLANDER 11

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The scene at the first recess ever at the Spokane International Academy. DANIEL WALTERS PHOTO

EDUCATION

First Day of School The Spokane International Academy marks the city’s first real experiment with the world of charter schools

BY DANIEL WALTERS

I

t’s the first day at a new school for Brayden Goldner.

His mom and his dad look on proudly as the little blond first-grader stands on the school’s concrete steps, wearing slacks, dress shoes and a blue polo shirt bearing the official Spokane International Academy logo.

“I went to Sheridan [Elementary] last year for kindergarten,” Brayden says. “I used to have more friends at Sheridan.” But with the unshakable confidence of a first grader, he knows he’ll make more.

In fact, last Wednesday (Aug. 26) is the first day at a new school for everyone here: the first day of the firstever charter school in Spokane. Until an initiative narrowly passed in 2012, charters — schools that use public funding but have their own governing structure — were illegal in the state of Washington.

Charter schools, like traditional public schools, are tuition-free. But spots are limited. The parents dropping their kids off today had to win a random lottery for their

kids to enroll.

“I’m gettin’ real tired of the public school system, and the way it’s operated,” says Max Goldner, Brayden’s dad.

He has another other son attending PRIDE Prep, the project-based charter school for sixth- through 12th-graders also opening this year in Spokane. “We just thought they weren’t getting the education that they deserve.”

For seven years, the school has been a dream of founder Travis Franklin, and he’s only 31. He called in every favor he had to make this happen. And there’s a chance it could fail.

The extra freedom given to charter schools to experiment can lead to success or utter disaster: The first charter school in Washington state — a former private school for homeless children called First Place Scholars of Seattle — was plagued by financial problems, misused funds and mass staff resignations. It narrowly survived being closed.

For Franklin, after a year and a half of planning and strategizing, today is a chance to test-drive his plan in the real world.

At breakfast, a gaggle of kindergartners petitions ...continued on next page

SEPTEMBER 3, 2015 INLANDER 13

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passersby to help them solve the inscrutable puzzle of opening their cardboard milk cartons.

The first graders, already masters of the milkopening game, go straight for their Trix cereal.

Eventually, the school will stretch through the eighth grade. But for now it’s just kindergarten, first and sixth grades.

“We wanted to dive into middle school right away,” Franklin says. “Sixth grade is such a hard time in everyone’s life. It’s the worst time in a kid’s life to not be known.” He would know. He used to teach sixth grade at Shiloh Hills Elementary.

Here, the middle-school-age kids are the student leaders of the Academy. They’re told they’ve been tasked with the sacred charge of helping the younger kids.

As sixth-grader Isabela Cruz cleans up milk she spilled, the accident hasn’t dampened her enthusiasm.

“I’m really excited that I get to learn more about other cultures and stuff,” Cruz says. “I’m really excited I get to learn Spanish. My dad is Puerto Rican, and he speaks Spanish. So I’m glad to be able to talk with him more.”

Most students in Spokane won’t learn a word of Spanish before high school. But at Spokane International Academy, it’s possible for students to learn everything high school Spanish has to offer, through the accelerated online curriculum, before they hit ninth grade.

Even in kindergarten teacher Sarah Morgan’s class, cutouts of colored paint splotches hang from the ceiling with words like “green” or “yellow” on one side, and “verde” or “amarillo” on the other.

This is the “international” part of Spokane

International Academy. Though these students will still take the same standardized tests as the rest of Washington state, the school teaches the Cambridge curriculum taught in more than 160 countries. Flags of the world line the hallway at the entrance. There are students enrolled who were born in Spokane, but also from Nepal, India and Russia.

Sixth-graders study ancient civilizations like Greece and Rome. Kindergarten’s all about North America, while first grade is all about South America. Paper vines hang down from the ceiling of teacher Aleisha Larsen’s first-grade classroom, and each table is given the name of a South American animal.

“They will learn a different animal every month and a different country every month, and they’ll learn that through their five senses,” Larsen says. “I will have a guy bringing in a baby leopard, and they will smell it and pet it and touch it.”

L

arsen used to go to school here. Specifically, she once attended St. Patrick’s Catholic School in this building. But the Catholic diocese shuttered the century-old private school in 2013. It turned out to be the ideal spot for the Academy.

Locating in the St. Patrick’s building put the charter school in the middle of Hillyard, a few blocks east of Rogers, the high school with the poorest population in Spokane. In this neighborhood, yellow weeds dominate lawns, paint chips off concrete porches and signs proclaim “BEWARE of DOG.” Green graffiti mars the crosswalk sign across from the Academy’s entrance.

For Franklin, the founder, it’s perfect. Since

charter schools can only enroll students by random lottery, to get the broad array of students Franklin wanted — including refugees and low-income students — the right location and recruitment strategy was crucial. Franklin met regularly with refugee families from World Relief. He embedded himself in the Hillyard community and joined community boards and business groups.

“When I talked to people in the neighborhood, they’re excited this is a school again,” Franklin says.

K

indergartners and first-graders flood the monkey bars and swings for recess. Two kids squat over a pile of dirt, bickering over the possession of a tiny red ant they’ve discovered. One pays a price for his hubris — and Franklin leads him off to the office to treat a particularly itchy red-ant bite.

“So what do you think about playing with the ants?” he asks the student as he leads him back to his class. “Probably not, right?”

The kindergartners and first-graders at Spokane International Academy have three recess breaks a day. With an extra-long eighthour school day four out of five days of the week — exhausting for teachers, really exhausting for 5-year-olds — breaks are crucial.

But those extra hours can be worth it.

“If a student stays with us all nine years, they get almost an extra year-and-a-half of school,” Franklin says, comparing the

YES & TOTO SEPT 11

“It’s kind of like owning a piece of a company. They have to really, really want to do what they’re doing.”

Academy to the state-required minimum. In a conventional school district, such a long day would have to be union-bargained. But as the Spokane Education Association gears up for a possible teachers union strike on Friday, Spokane International Academy doesn’t have to deal with such complications. So far, the charter doesn’t have a union.

“They can form a union if they want to,” Franklin says. “But we hope to create a place where you don’t need to, right?”

First-year teachers at the Academy get paid more than at Spokane Public Schools, starting at $38,000. But Franklin doesn’t think the extra pay is the appeal. It’s the expanded freedom they have to build a school around their passions.

“It’s kind of like owning a piece of a company,” Franklin says.

“They have to really, really want to do what they’re doing. It’s not easy.”

And these teachers do. Mary Himley, a 55-year-old sixthgrade teacher and amateur beekeeper with spiky blond hair and arms covered in tattoos, stands in the garden she created out back. Tiny pumpkins have already started growing. So have the tomatoes and the perennials.

“We’ve already picked, like, 15 cantaloupes and have given them away,” Himley says. Soon, they’ll begin using them in the lunches. “The kids will come out and pick beans tomorrow. The potatoes are ready. We’ll dig them on Friday.”

An avid environmentalist, she’s putting worm bins in every classroom, and starting a composting program. In October, she’ll be taking the entire sixth grade on a trip to NatureBridge Olympic Park in Port Angeles.

The day marches on. Dean of Students Brian Maney leads a kindergarten class in the ABCs on his guitar. In art class, firstgraders draw self-portraits — mostly variations of stick figures.

Soon, the students have lined up on the blacktop, waiting for their parents to pick them up. One exhausted kindergartner is bawling inconsolably. But others couldn’t be happier.

“I loved it,” Cruz says, smiling broadly. “I like how my teacher, Ms. Himley, she really talked about other cultures. That’s really what I love about this school.”

The best thing? Tomorrow, she gets to go again. n danielw@inlander.com

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SEPTEMBER 3, 2015 INLANDER 15

NEWS | DIGEST

PHOTO EYE GATHERING PLACE

JEFF FERGUSON PHOTO

Hannah Blackcrow, 17, Thea Garcia, 16, Precious Littledancer David, 14, and Karis Goodstriker, 13, share stories and Snapchats during a break between dances at the Gathering at the Falls Pow Wow on Saturday in downtown Spokane.

The annual weekend gathering is a time for native tribes to honor their heritage and share their culture with the community through traditional dances, songs and drumming.

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GETTING RAND-Y Kentucky Sen. RAND PAUL stopped in Spokane and Coeur d’Alene last week to deliver his libertarianflavored message as he seeks the Republican nomination for president. Paul, son of former presidential candidate and Texas Rep. Ron Paul, drew about 400 people to the Schuler Performing Arts Center at North Idaho College.

During his speech, Paul used his misunderstanding of what Coeur d’Alene means to take a jab at Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid.

He also criticized the tax code, the spending habits of his own party, the Pentagon and foreign aid, and asserted that Republicans need to embrace more of the Bill of Rights than just the Second Amendment. (JAKE THOMAS)

BUCK: THE TREND In Idaho, the J.A. and Kathryn Albertson Family Foundation has been trying to get more IDAHO KIDS TO COLLEGE since 2008. But while their ad campaigns, scholarships and grants have helped improve specific schools, the statewide numbers have remained stubbornly low. Now, the foundation is trying a new tack, using guerilla marketing, including a bright yellow deer decoy and hashtags like #BuckTheQuo, to draw students to a booths at state fairs. Along with free sunglasses and the chance to win iPads, kids get a chance to send themselves a package with an inspirational message about their long-term goals. (DANIEL WALTERS)

NEWS | BRIEFS

Getting Schooled Spokane teachers contemplate strike; plus, Mayor Condon unveils his budget STRIKE ZONE

Washington state law, on its face, appears to say that TEACHER STRIKES are illegal. The state statute on public bargaining rights even contains a section specifically titled “right to strike not granted.”

But members of the Spokane Teachers Association have voted to consider a strike anyway — if they can’t come to an agreement with the district by Friday.

Spokane Public Schools pays $35,069 for a first-year teacher without a master’s degree. But Mead teachers get paid about $2,000 more, Spokane Education Association President Jenny Rose says. That’s because, while most of the money for teacher salaries comes from the state, districts can use levy funds to augment health benefits and offer extra “time, responsibility and incentive” pay.

But the union battle is not just about teachers. The SEA represents seven different bargaining groups, including maintenance workers, instructional assistants and other classified employees.

“Our nutrition services [workers] start at $9.47 an hour,” says Rose. “We have people who have worked for 25 years for this district but are still making $14 an hour.” She points to the big increase in state education funding and the district’s sizable reserve, and believes the district has room to spend more. But district spokesman Kevin Morrison says costs like adding 60 new elementary school teachers in order to extend the school days have already eliminated slack from the budget.

The school board commissioned its own independent salary review study, Morrison adds, and agrees that some staffers, like entry-level instructional assistants, should be paid more. However, the study also showed that some more experienced staffers are more fairly compensated.

Morrison says he’s optimistic that the district and the union will come to an agreement before Friday. “[A strike] hasn’t happened in Spokane in over 30 years,” Morrison says. (DANIEL WALTERS)

OVERSIGHT IN SIGHT

Independent police oversight in Spokane is nearing a long-awaited reboot. Jenny Rose, president of the Spokane Education Association, was unanimously approved by the city council Monday as the fifth and final member of the OFFICE OF POLICE OMBUDSMAN COMMISSION. That group of community volunteers is ultimately responsible for selecting a new ombudsman from the final pool of three candidates. (See page 19.) Rose grew up in Spokane, spent 15 years teaching at Garfield Elementary and has an extensive record of volunteer work in the community. She comes from a law enforcement family: her father and brother were officers in Spokane and Wenatchee, respectively.

As the city reassembles its police ombudsman office, local proponents of law enforcement oversight presented

Spokane County Commissioners with 1,000 signatures Wednesday in support of a similar entity for the Sheriff’s Office. Currently, the sheriff’s citizen advisory board, made up of community members selected by Sheriff Ozzie Knezovich, reviews officer-involved shootings, internal affairs investigations and other policies within the agency. (MITCH RYALS)

OPENING BID

Spokane Mayor David Condon has unveiled his opening bid in a months-long process to determine the city’s spending priorities for the next year.

Speaking on Monday, Condon outlined his projected $810.8 MILLION OPERATING BUDGET, which assumes a 2.9 percent growth in revenue and includes no layoffs or reductions in services, maintains libraries, improves streets and trains firefighters and police, among other functions. Condon highlighted how the 195-page budget included an increase of $25 million to $46 million for streets because of a levy passed by voters, and $67 million would be directed toward improving water quality in the Spokane River.

“We are a people business so the vast majority of our expenses pertain to our people,” said Condon, referring to the $255 million in wages and benefits included in his budget.

Condon said the upcoming budget would be “pivotal” because the city was also planning its six-year capital budget for buildings that needed to be built or maintained in coming years and he hoped to integrate both documents.

Calling the operating budget a “starting point,” Condon noted that City Council would need to sign off on it before the end of the year and that citizens could provide feedback at MySpokaneBudget.org. (JAKE THOMAS)

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NEWS | DEVELOPMENT

On Notice A proposed ordinance would give neighbors a heads-up about developments, but the Spokane Home Builders Association says it’ll drive away builders

BY JAKE THOMAS

I

n April, Spokane City Council President Ben Stuckart stood before about 30 lower South Hill residents in the basement of the Woman’s Club of Spokane. He was there to speak about the sudden demolition of historic homes, a big-box store being built in a neighborhood, all the cell towers that have sprung up across the city, and what he wanted to do about it.

In his hand was a paper listing the 66 local, state and federal agencies that receive a notification whenever a developer wants a land-use change for projects that could alter neighborhoods.

“You know who’s missing?” he asked the room. “Neighbors.”

Neighbors, he said, have been left out of the decision-making process of what gets built in their neighborhoods.

The situation, according to Stuckart, has created lawsuits and angry residents who might be inclined to support more radical remedies, like the initiative Envision Spokane has qualified for the ballot three times and nearly passed in 2011.

Stuckart said he had a solution, an ordinance he and others have spent months working on, that would require the city to give neighborhood councils notification of any large development in their area and respond to their comments. It would also make it easier for neighborhood councils to appeal land-use decisions.

As Stuckart made his pitch, “uh-huhs” and “thank yous” arose from the audience.

Not everyone is pleased.

The Spokane Home Builders Association worries that the ordinance will become a tool for neighbors to resist and delay development in their neighborhoods, potentially leading to lawsuits.

The association, which has at times been at odds with Stuckart and his allies, also worries that the ordinance will end up undermining a goal that both it and the city council share: denser development in the city.

U

nder the neighborhood notification ordinance, the city would be required to notify neighborhood councils of proposed developments within their borders. The councils, under the

18 INLANDER SEPTEMBER 3, 2015

ordinance, have 14 days to submit written comments that the city must reply to.

“It opens up the dialogue, and lets neighborhoods know about it and enter the conversation, instead of what’s been happening,” says Stuckart.

What’s been happening, says Stuckart, is that neighborhoods sometimes don’t find out about a project until it’s nearly a done deal, resulting in lingering mistrust and triggering lawsuits, like the one Spokane’s Southgate neighborhood filed over the development of a Target store.

The ordinance clarifies that the city’s 27 neighborhood councils have standing, or the legal ability, to appeal land-use decisions made by the city that affect them.

Stuckart says that in the past, developers would challenge the standing of neighborhood councils if they appealed a land-use decision. If councils wanted to fight back, says Stuckart, they’d have to hire a lawyer, an expense they typically can’t afford.

Michael Cathcart, government affairs director for the Spokane Home Builders Association, says his association supports giving neighborhoods advance notification of developments. But giving them standing to appeal land-use decisions, he says, goes too far. He LETTERS says that Send comments to neighboreditor@inlander.com. hood councils have an advisory role under the city charter. Giving them the ability to challenge land-use decisions, he says, violates the charter and could invite lawsuits.

“If you grant this additional role or right [to neighborhood councils], it will incentivize a lot of folks who don’t want to see any changes in their neighborhood to join their council to stop land-use projects,” says Cathcart.

Stuckart says that the ordinance won’t aid NIMBY-ism (Not In My Back Yard) in residents, because if a proposed project meets city zoning requirements and is legal, it will overcome an appeal mounted by a neighborhood council. He also argues that if neighborhoods are given notification of a project and the chance to respond to it early on, they’ll be less likely

The Target on Spokane’s South Hill is often cited as an example of the disconnect between developers, city staff and neighbors. YOUNG KWAK PHOTO to challenge it later.

In 2012, the city of Spokane, seeking to prevent sprawl, passed ordinances intended to spur the creation of more infill development, the development or redevelopment of vacant or underused land within the city.

Cathcart says his association also wants more infill. But this ordinance, he says, could cause delays resulting in builders shying away from building infills.

He says he’s heard from some members of his association who say they will only build in the county or Spokane Valley if the ordinance passes.

“Our concern is that even if it’s a temporary delay, it’s going to create an atmosphere where the developers and builders want to avoid the city, because time is money,” says Cathcart.

Kitty Klitzke, Eastern Washington program director for the growth-management advocacy group Futurewise, says that her organization wouldn’t have worked on the ordinance and signed off on it if there was a possibility it would hinder infill development.

Klitzke adds that too many Spokanites feel they have no control over developments in their neighborhoods, leaving them inclined to support more radical solutions, specifically Envision Spokane’s Community Bill of Rights initiative. Both Klitzke and Stuckart say the initiative nearly passed in 2011, in large part, because of its provision that would give residents direct decision-making power over zoning changes for major developments in their neighborhoods.

Kai Huschke, Envision Spokane campaign coordinator, agrees that residents don’t have enough say about development, but dismisses Stuckart’s solution.

“Knowing about development is not the same as being a decision-maker,” he says. “It doesn’t change anything.”

O

n the outskirts of the South Hill, the dust has settled in a neighborhood that Stuckart holds up as a poster child for his ordinance.

Ted Teske, chair of the Southgate Neighborhood Council, says that problems started in 2005 when developers rezoned 45 acres to make the neighborhood ready for a Target. But by the time the neighborhood council found out, it was too late for the neighborhood to have much influence.

The neighborhood council appealed the decision, with the aid of a lawyer, and filed a lawsuit against the city that was settled in 2009, according to Teske. But in the end the bulldozers came, and the 105,000-square-foot store was built. Teske says it has brought increased traffic and made the character of the neighborhood more suburban.

Teske, who calls the proposed ordinance a step in the right direction, doesn’t expect it to result in numerous appeals if the city adheres to its zoning ordinances.

“We didn’t have a stick to make them adhere to the ordinances,” he says. “Giving the neighborhood the ability to appeal gives that check and that balance to what the city staff is doing.” n jaket@inlander.com

NEWS | POLICE

The Watchmen Meet the three men vying to be Spokane’s next police ombudsman

BY MITCH RYALS

A

s the three finalists for Spokane’s police ombudsman job made their first public appearances last week, questions arose about what bias or baggage they might bring to the position. During a question-and-answer session on Thursday afternoon, Allen Huggins faced concerns about online comments he’s made criticizing the Black Lives Matter movement. Meanwhile, Robert Breeden fielded questions about an internal investigation at the Florida Department of Law Enforcement, which found he “violated numerous policies” and “created a hostile work environment.”

The next public appearance for the three men was scheduled for Sept. 1. The ombudsman commission could make a final selection as soon as Sept. 9.  ALLEN HUGGINS has nearly 30 years of experience in law enforcement, the majority of those in Costa Mesa, California, where he retired as a captain in 2013. Huggins also has experience as an Internal Affairs investigator, and now runs a private investigation business in Coeur d’Alene. A prolific commenter on the Wall Street Journal website, Huggins has expressed his frustration with what he perceives as hypocrisy of the Black Lives Matter movement, claiming its supporters only show up when a white cop kills a black person, but show no concern for black-on-black gang violence.

Huggins has also written op-eds for the Coeur d’Alene Press in which he advocated for objectivity, morality and integrity as must-have characteristics for police officers and investigations. In one article, Huggins addresses the officer-involved shooting death in Coeur d’Alene of Arfee, a Labrador retriever. Huggins wrote that he would have called for an independent investigation, rather than an internal review, “to remove any accusations of a cover-up or incomplete investigation.”

September 6th

 ROBERT BREEDEN is a former law enforcement officer of 32 years from Florida. He has a master’s degree from Florida State University, where he taught in the School of Criminology as an adjunct professor. Most recently, Breeden retired from his position as Assistant Special Agent in Charge of the Florida Department of Law Enforcement in Miami after a six-month internal investigation revealed him to be a “potty-mouthed micromanager who blew his stack over office minutiae and bullied subordinates, high-ranking peers and cops from other agencies.”

Breeden retired rather than taking a demotion and has denied the investigation’s findings.  RAHEEL HUMAYUN is the only candidate who has not been a law enforcement officer, a distinction he emphasized during last Thursday evening’s public interview with the OPO Commission. He is currently an investigator for the Office of the Ombudsperson in British Columbia, which responds to allegations against public authorities in that province. Some commissioners expressed concern that Humayun would require a work visa, which could take months to acquire.

“I’m just glad I don’t have to make the decision alone,” says Commissioner Scott Richter. “But I’m livid that it’s late August and we’re just now doing this. We should have started the process of hiring an interim ombudsman immediately after Tim Burns left.” Burns, who became Spokane’s first ombudsman in 2009, departed in January. 

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SEPTEMBER 3, 2015 INLANDER 19

worst jobs

‘Cleaning up years of rotten wheat and bird crap’

BY KRIS DINNISON

The worst job of 2015? An annual ranking by the so-called experts at the website CareerCast.com puts “newspaper reporter” dead last, No. 200 out of 200, worse even than “lumberjack” at 199. We have to call bullshit.

Sure, reporters don’t pull down huge checks — and we’re the world’s favorite scapegoat — but it could be worse... right? So, in honor of Labor Day, we had staffers and local writers recount their most hated jobs. Turns out, by comparison, writing isn’t half bad!

My brother had warned me about the rats.

When our dad’s seed company bought the derelict grain warehouse the year before, Mike had been one of the first ones on site, cleaning up years of rotten wheat and bird crap. And he’d had to deal with rats, both dead and alive, who’d been living it up on leftover grain, getting bigger and bigger, becoming the apex predators of the abandoned warehouse.

I was the lucky one. By the time I worked there the place still needed some cleanup, but the standing water and dead birds were mostly gone. I was young, and the boss’ daughter, so at first David and Phil, the other guys who worked there, just put me in the office and told me to answer the telephone. But nobody called, and I was so bored they let me try a few odd jobs: Power-wash the building, paint the office, help dump the seed trucks. Once they saw I would actually dig in and work, they upped the ante. Pretty soon I was bagging grass seed out of the cleaner, sewing up the 70-pound bags with a hand-held sewing machine, then loading them onto pallets. When the pallets were transferred to a nearby warehouse for shipping, they sent me down to help load the bags into a boxcar. It was 90 degrees outside and nearly 110 inside the car. The whole summer was dirt and grain dust in my eyes and ears and nose, mixing with my sweat to form a pale paste on my skin. But at the end of the day there was cold Coke in a bottle and air conditioning in the car on the way home.

It was nearly the end of the summer before I saw my first rat. I was beginning to think Mike had been exaggerating their size and boldness to freak me out: a grown-up version of the times he’d told me some terrifying fact about World War II or some serial killer just to scare me. But he wasn’t exaggerating.

The rat that lumbered along the edge of the pile of seed was huge, and it looked at me like it was trying to decide if it could take me in a fair fight. I backed out of the warehouse slowly, then ran to find David and Phil.

“It was this big,” I said, holding my hands to indicate the size of small dog. It was probably more puppy-sized, but still much bigger than any rat had a right to be.

“You got this one?” Phil asked David.

David nodded, grabbing the shovel near the warehouse door. I followed at a distance, wanting to see what would become of the defiant rodent who was gorging himself on the product of our hard work.

David walked to the center of the room, near the pile of seed I’d indicated. He held the shovel, waiting.

When the rat emerged again, David brought it down on the rat, guillotine-style, severing its head from its neck. I gaped, then turned away while he scooped up both parts and took them out back to the field.

“You want the next one?” David asked, leaning the shovel back against the warehouse wall.

“Nah, I’m good,” I said. “I think I hear the phone ringing.” 

ILLUSTRATIONS BY JIM CAMPBELL SEPTEMBER 3, 2015 INLANDER 21

WOR ST JOB S

‘The brutal fact remained: I was not good at my job’

BY DANIEL WALTERS I tell everyone I was fired for streaking.

And, then, inevitably, eyebrows are raised and eyes are narrowed quizzically: Did a strait-laced, riskaverse chap like me once have a side zany enough to run naked through the carefully tended fairways of the Spokane Country Club?

No, no, I then clarify, I was fired for leaving squeegee streaks on the windows. Sorry if you misunderstood. I would never engage in such crude ribaldry.

I was a janitor. I vacuumed floors, dusted counters, emptied trash cans and cleaned toilets. But that wasn’t what made my job suck.

It’s not just difficulty, or tedium, or long hours, or low wages, or gross situations that make the job terrible. It’s all that, and being awful at your job on top of it. It’s waking up at 4 am as a recent high school graduate, driving to the Spokane Country Club in the dark, knowing that I was going to make a string of embarrassing mistakes.

Blame the lousy eyesight that led to my first pair of glasses a few months later. Blame the same freak spatial-coordination abnormality that leaves me physically incapable of hitting a baseball when it isn’t set stationary on a tee, dancing in a way that doesn’t ruin weddings or parallel parking without first engaging in a lengthy game of bumper cars. Blame what I’ve dubbed “Amelia Bedelia syndrome,” my inadvertent tendency to misinterpret commands in an overly literal and comically incorrect way — a habit which, while amusing to a generation of children’s book readers, tends to irritate an employer or any given dad.

Blame an ancient curse or an uncaring God or our namby-pamby, participation-trophy culture, but the brutal fact remained: I was not good at my job.

I’d vacuum out the nooks, but miss the crannies.

When I moved furniture, the country club walls and doorjambs would pay the terrible price. I’d space out — distracted by fantasies of being good at my job — and let time slip away. And yes, when I washed windows, long, embarrassing streaks were left in my wake. It was like a signature. This window, it told the wealthy country club denizens, was washed by none other than famed janitor Daniel Walters.

I was fired about halfway through the summer.

“I don’t think this is your cup of tea,” my boss said, generously understating things.

But that wasn’t such a bad thing, he said. So you’re not a good janitor? There are better things to be good at. Somewhere out there, he suggested, there was a cup of tea with my name on it.

It turned out to be an Inlander coffee cup.

Fortunes change. In 2013, a gender discrimination case resulted in a $1.4 million verdict and the Spokane Country Club filed for bankruptcy protection.

I, on the other hand, no longer leave streaks. I leave typos. 

22 INLANDER SEPTEMBER 3, 2015

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SEPTEMBER 3, 2015 INLANDER 23

WOR ST JOB S

‘I would review the bank accounts of these doomed bastards’

BY JAKE THOMAS About 10 years ago, a younger, broker, more confused version of myself did what many other directionless people do and marched down to a temp agency to ask for a job. A few weeks later, the agency placed me in the lossprevention department in a large national bank.

At the time, I was living in a big, run-down house in southeast Portland. I would rise at 7 am and ride a fixedgear bicycle, my only functional set of wheels, to a cubicle farm on the other side of town to protect the assets of a financial behemoth from hordes of consumers with staggeringly low levels of financial literacy.

For $10 an hour, I would review the bank accounts of these doomed bastards, seeing their financial suicide unfold as they racked up charges to fastfood restaurants and bargain retailers as if their debit cards were sources of magical unlimited wealth. Some would pile up more than a thousand dollars in overdraft fees in a day, prompting the bank to deem them a risk. Others committed the cardinal banking sin of inserting an envelope containing no cash into an ATM. Their account would be credited, but once the bank inevitably dis-

24 INLANDER SEPTEMBER 3, 2015

covered there was no money in the envelope, their account was closed.

If they had any money left in their account, often just a few dollars, I would send a check to them, usually at a trailer park in an obscure town in Texas or California. I would then refer their name to what’s essentially a banking blacklist, banishing them from the world of consumer financial services.

The clunky computer system I used to do all this with had the warmth and userfriendliness of an antique rifle.

I never understood it. I made many mistakes.

I would come home feeling defeated and exhausted from the banality of crushing people’s financial lives. Sometimes I would come home to be greeted by one of my unemployed roommates, who had spent the day drinking whiskey and writing poetry, reclining on the front porch, blasting booty jams and utterly bewildered as to the source of my foul mood.

After about four months of this, I quit, which mystified many of my co-workers. My boss even said I could come back. But a few months later, I sold an article to a newspaper. n

‘The empty apartment looked as if wild animals had squatted in the house’

BY JORDY BYRD They mailed me a key to a storage locker, where the overhead light flickered like something out of a terrorist interrogation room. I picked up a bucket of cleaning supplies and a solitary razor to clean newly vacated apartments on Washington State University’s campus. It was my first and only day on the job, but I can still remember the way the cleaner stung my hands.

Through college, I had professionally cleaned for a family. Paired with a purple boom box on Wednesday nights, I ruddied my knees scrubbing the kitchen floor and scraping remnants of what could only be spaghetti off a child’s high chair.

This was different.

The empty apartment looked as if wild animals had squatted and vanished in the night. I started cleaning in the kitchen. The once stark-white cabinets were caked in ash-gray thumbprints and ooze that created tributary-like pathways down to the linoleum. Armed with a cleaning checklist, I was to use a razor to remove film from the glass cabinets and mold from the windowsills.

The task seemed possible until I

smelled something vile lingering in the bathroom. I imagined a hairball the size of Texas clogging the shower drain. I pictured bloodied Band-Aids and a toilet seat camouflaged by pubic hair and whatever unspeakable horrors awaited me and my bucket.

But I never made it past the kitchen. I barely finished the cabinets before abandoning my bucket in the middle of the checkered floor.

I couldn’t return to that depressing storage closet, and yet overwhelming guilt passed over me as I deemed myself too good to clean this place.

Too proud to carry on the profession my grandmother did graciously for 25 years as head maid at Benny’s Panorama Hotel — a hotel, under a different moniker, that still stands in Colville, Washington.

As those stark cabinets closed in around me, I discovered that dirty work is not itself dehumanizing. It’s only when I devalue my worth and my work that I should feel ashamed.

That night, I left sweaty and terrified of lurking student loans and the prospects of finding a job as a journalist.

Seven years later I’m still terrified, but I’m proud that I left that night. n

NOW OPEN spokane’s first escape room!

‘The worst Denny’s west of the Mississippi’

Think you can escape?

We dare you...

BY DAN NAILEN My first teenage job experience gave me a cautionary lesson about the lust for the almighty dollar. Or in my case, the lust for an extra 15 cents an hour.

As soon as I was of legal employment age, I jumped on a dishwashing job at a Mexican restaurant owned by the parents of a classmate.

I used that personal relationship — which I would later learn is called “networking” — for landing the sweet gig of scraping crusted, burned cheese off plates and shooting beans and rice down a massive disposal with a firehose-powerful sprayer of hot water that made the kitchen as humid and sticky as an equatorial jungle in August.

As excited as I was to be earning some money, it didn’t take long to realize that washing dishes for six hours at a time is awful. And seeing what an Enchilada Platter looked like coming back to the kitchen an hour after it left was seriously compromising my love of Mexican food.

I started scoping out the local paper’s want ads mere weeks into my job at El Matador, and as luck would have it, I found a better job.

Granted, it was still washing dishes for hours on end — after all, that was officially all I had on my résumé as a “skill” and “prior experience” — but it would mean a serious jump in pay.

Denny’s paid $3.50 an hour, not just the federally mandated minimum wage of $3.35. Suffice to say, I jumped at the chance to start making that serious coin.

Little did I know that my particular Denny’s was known as “the worst Denny’s west of the Mississippi,” information passed to me about a week into the job by the young manager who was bound and determined to turn that Denny’s around.

He had a lot of work to do to achieve that goal. If memory serves, most of the waitstaff stole money from the till, when they bothered showing up for their scheduled shift. Every member of the dishwashing crew — save for my 16-year-old naïve self — was fresh out of jail and living in a halfway house within walking distance of the restaurant.

Some of them were cool, teaching me how to get the last possible pull out of a cigarette butt, but some were clearly on a one-way street back to jail, and soon.

I’m pretty sure one of my fellow dishwashers was pimping women by having them sit on the barstools out in the dining room to showcase themselves while he washed dishes in back. And he was doing it during the Sunday morning “church” shift. I had one late-night customer open his jacket as I bussed a nearby table to showcase a bunch of dangling watches he had for sale, like he had just stepped out of a ’70s-era detective show. Even I wasn’t naïve enough for that; I watched a lot of television.

The worst part, though, was the uniform — brown slacks and a white shirt, covered by a heavy brown leather apron to keep the dishwater from soaking you through. The apron made you so hot during your shift that it was preferable to be drenched by floating bits of a soggy Moons Over My Hammy breakfast than your own sweat generated by that damn sheath. I’ve hated the color brown ever since.

The job didn’t totally ruin the enjoyment of a Grand Slam for me.

But I’ve eaten a hell of a lot more Mexican food than Denny’s in the years since. n

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WOR ST JOB S

‘Every five minutes or so I’d smash the contents down with my feet’

BY LAURA JOHNSON The grating of the machine, the paper particles swirling in the air — I can still hear it rattling in my dreams. As a college freshman, I took a work-study job in the school’s administrative building as a glorified paper shredder for one semester. My task: sort out old student documents from banged-up filing cabinets to either a) meet their end in a paper shredder or b) move to a new storage unit.

Entering the building for my two-hour shift three times a week, I’d weave through the maze of cubicles and fake plants to my boss’ desk.

She would usually just look at me like, “Oh, you again,” and point to the next row of filing cabinets to empty out, too preoccupied with moving up the university ranks to care about the help.

I went to a school where one was perpetually confronted with the Pacific Ocean. But in that office, I spent most of my time in a darkened shredder/supply closet blasting my iPod and feeding the insatiable machine with aging

26 INLANDER SEPTEMBER 3, 2015

pages. Fun came when I experimented with how many pieces of paper the shredder could handle at a time before backing up (about 12).

The tall plastic bin that caught the accordion-like scraps filled up far too quickly, so every five minutes or so I’d smash the contents down with my feet, like stomping grapes into wine.

Eventually, when the bin became too full, I’d have the privilege of dumping its heavy contents into a trash bag and hauling it off to the recycle bin outside the building.

To the rest of the office workers I was little more than hot air. When one of them had to share space with me in the “closet” to do something like make a copy or hunt for extra pens, most did their best to avoid eye contact.

The next semester, I thankfully procured a work-study job where people noticed I was alive and there was a lot more time to study.

Now when I see someone shredding paper anywhere, I acknowledge them. They do exist, after all. n

FIND ART

and more this Friday, Sept 4th!

Venues open 5 - 8 pm unless otherwise noted.

For more information about the artists and an interactive map, visit downtownspokane.org

BARILI CELLARS 4 TO 9PM

LIBERTY CIDERWORKS 4 TO 9PM 164 S. WASHINGTON, SUITE 300

Connor Simpson graces the walls with whimsical and colorful paintings of puppies, pizza, and pizzazz.

Enjoy award-winning, hand-crafted cider and view oil pastels by David Wang, featuring subjects such as the Garland and Fox theaters and the Monroe Street Bridge.

1213 W. RAILROAD AVENUE

1206 W. SUMMIT PKWY

608 W. SECOND

BARRISTER WINERY 5 TO 10PM

LR Montgomery paints nature, exposing its intricacies and boldness, lights and shadows, wide-open spaces, and hidden secrets.

BISTANGO

108 N. POST

Music by Daniel Mills. Half price all Eats menu, Happy Hour 4-6pm and Spokane’s best lounge experience!

BOZZI GALLERY

221 N. WALL ST., SUITE 226 (OLD CITY HALL)

Todd Mires. Inspired by a variety of influences, Mires has always been intrigued with images of space, which he often strives to emulate.

EAST SPRAGUE ART GALLERY 5 TO 8PM

1812 E. SPRAGUE

Shellie Oches. Classic Western Acrylic Painting

HERBAL ESSENCE CAFE 115 N. WASHINGTON

Kevin R Kirk. Large canvas, mixed media, abstract.

HILLS’ RESTAURANT AND LOUNGE 6 TO 9PM

401 W. MAIN

Steve Schennum. Accoustic Guitar playing songs you never hear on the radio, but maybe you should.

KOLVA-SULLIVAN GALLERY

115 S. ADAMS STREET, SUITE A

Doug Turman. “There: Paintings from the studio of a traveler” Oil on canvas and board, mixed media.

LEFTBANK WINE BAR

108 N. WASHINGTON SUITE 105

Katrina Brennan’s art goes beyond surreal, in its expression of the world around us it reads into society’s inner being. Her paintings are expressive, and conceptual, with bold colors, flowing lines, and subjects that have a Steam-punk appeal.

LIBERTY BUILDING 203 N. WASHINGTON

Stacy Epley, Fred Epley, Jeffrey Loyd, Denny Carman, Chris Bovey, Megan Broughton, TaskoExperience Abstract, Steampunk, Graphic and Realism art together with live music from Starlite Motel under one roof.

MARMOT ART SPACE

Book Release Party - The River Remembers: A Visual History of the Spokane River Gorge Kay O’Rourke

NECTAR TASTING ROOM 5 TO 10PM 120 N STEVENS

Claywork by Jill Smith joined by musician Brett Dechene and visiting winery Anelare.

NORTHWEST MUSEUM OF ARTS & CULTURE (MAC) 2316 W. FIRST

Featured artist, printmaker Lindsey Merrell. See the exhibits, “Saranac Art Projects,” and “100 Stories: A Centennial Exhibition,” plus enjoy Cafe MAC food specials. Wine and beer available.

PAINT & PINTS 5 TO 8PM 718 W. RIVERSIDE

Open house! Come check out the beautiful new studio downtown and meet talented local artists! $3 Pints Craft Beer, $4 Sampler Paddles, $5 Glasses Wine, free class drawings, 30% discount on classes when you sign up in studio this night only!

PATIT CREEK CELLARS 5 TO 9PM 822 W. SPRAGUE

“Sadness and Strength,” exhibit by Terran Eschegoyen McCabe and Susan Webber.

Come early for Happy Hour with the Artists 5-7 with glass pour specials.

Stay late for live entertainment 7-9 with contemporary country music by The Ryan Larsen Band.

PINOT’S PALETTE 4 TO 7PM 32 W. SECOND, STE 100

A variety of artwork from our resident artists: Ali Blackwood, Ashley Moss, Audreana Camm, Bethany Ellifritz, Heather Hofstetter, Kyle Genther. Paint your own masterpiece for $10!

POTTERY PLACE PLUS 5 TO 10PM 203 N. WASHINGTON

Guest Artist-Dan Miller. From his eyes, and through the lens, let Dan take you to the places of “Lost Light.”

RIVER CITY BREWING 3 TO 9PM 121 S. CEDAR

Liquid Art Series from the minds of Moose and Todd. A one-time beer brewed for each First Friday using a Firkin keg, cask-conditioned and fermented to be poured one day only.

RIVER PARK SQUARE FIRST FRIDAY AT NORDSTROM 808 W MAIN

Be captivated by the art of Darcy Lee Saxton, who paints the many expressions of the human spirit. Accompanying her will be fingerstyle acoustic guitarist Craig Swanby playing a little bit of everything!

RIVER PARK SQUARE FIRST NIGHT SPOKANE RISING STARS - KRESS GALLERY 808 W. MAIN, THIRD FLOOR

Melinda Melvin ‘s abstract works are unusual. She uses paints and resin to create her three dimensional paintings. Looking beneath the surface of each piece the viewer will find the unexpected.

SANTE RESTAURANT 404 W. MAIN

Jimmy Magnuson. Large Bold Abstract Paintings by Jimmy Magnuson

SARANAC ART PROJECTS 5 TO 9PM 25 W. MAIN

Member artist Hannah Koeske presents “Flood,” drawings that “have to do with a sense of presence, the body, the role of imagination in the community, and mutuality verses autonomy.” With arts faculty invitational, “Fresh.”

SPOKANE PUBLIC LIBRARY DOWNTOWN

THE BRICKWALL PHOTOGRAPHIC GALLERY 530 W. MAIN, SKYWALK IN THE BENNETT BLOCK

Fetish of the Mind Memories, Dreams and Fantasy - photography by Erik Sooner

TINBENDER CRAFT DISTILLERY 32 W. SECOND

Sue Luce is an artist in the glass medium.

She has enjoyed working with glass for over 25 years. She now devotes most of her talents to warm glass techniques including fusing and slumping glass.

TRACKSIDE STUDIO CERAMIC ART GALLERY WEDNESDAY THROUGH FRIDAY 11AM TO 3PM 115 S. ADAMS

Barb Campbell, Corvallis, Oregon and Reid Ozaki, Tacoma. Barb works with a focus on texture and hand building, Reid is the consummate wheel technician. Exhibit info: www.TracksideStudio.net

TRACKSIDE STUDIO CERAMIC ART GALLERY 10AM TO 4PM 115 S. ADAMS

Reid Ozaki - Artist Demonstration / Re-thinking the Wheel. Experience the wheel as a tool and not an end in itself, the wheel’s potential for creating unique forms.

906 W. MAIN

“I’ll Show You“ Art by three Spokane artists; Caren Furbeyre, Karen Mobley, and Garric Simonsen. Gouache, Charcoal Drawing and Digitally Handpainted Photographs.

STEAM PLANT 159 S. LINCOLN

Caine Vande Water & Erik Botchek – Artists of Steam Plant. Caine uses a bright palette and vivid patterns in his thought-provoking paintings. Erik creates dramatic scenes of nature with his camera and discerning eye. Sample Steam Plant’s handcrafted brew while you enjoy the show.

V DU V WINES 5 TO 9:30PM

218 N. HOWARD

222 S. WASHINGTON

12 S. SCOTT

Original photographic prints by Spokane photographer Mike Busby.

STEELHEAD BAR AND GRILLE

VINO! A WINE SHOP 3 TO 7:30PM

Happy Hour from 9pm to close! $6 appetizers, $5.50 Top Shelf and Signature cocktails.

Austin Stiegemeier. Austin’s works focuses on people and their relationship to the modern social environment. As both a painter and printmaker he loves developing layers and uses a wide range of materials.

TAMARACK PUBLIC HOUSE MUSIC AT 6PM

912 W. SPRAGUE

Doug Miller, Landscaper Artist & Live Music Night with musicians, “Brotha Nature, Aspen Deck, Sunny Brookbank, and Patrick Stewart”

VINTAGE HILL CELLARS 1:30 TO 8PM 319 W. SECOND

The Cellar’s final First Friday will feature John Dunning’s original wine barrel furniture and decor. Please join us.

THE BIG DIPPER

WOLLNICK’S GENERAL STORE

Kiefer Jones. Multimedia collage pop-art artist.

Variety of Artists. Performance at the Parklet - Live Music, Pottery, and Dance.

171 S. WASHNGTON

downtownspokane.org | spokanearts.org | Brought to you by Downtown Spokane and Spokane Arts

421 W MAIN

SEPTEMBER 3, 2015 INLANDER 27

WOR ST JOB S

‘All those deaths before had been merely names and ages’

BY MIKE BOOKEY There is no logical reason for me to have been the man a few million people trusted for their morning news.

I was 22 and just a couple of cashstrapped months out of college with only a handful of school-paper news articles to my name. But like so many fools in so many other jobs, I tripped and fell into the position because I knew somebody. A friend of mine’s aunt was the editor of Los Angeles’ news wire service and, after introductions, a writing test and some fill-in duties, I soon found myself in the vacant newsroom of the Los Angeles Police Department headquarters at 10 pm for my shift as a full-time overnight cops reporter.

The wire provided stories to all the local TV stations, in addition to the daily newspapers, and not just in the region, but many others across the nation. Again, I had almost no experience. It was trial by fire. I burned alive until I found a way to extinguish myself. _________________ There was always someone in the seat, 24 hours a day. Nights. Weekends. Holidays. And it had been like that for decades.

I’d come in at 10 pm and take the desk from an aging novelist who used to drink with Charles Bukowski, but now kept a parrot as a pet and went home to a mailorder bride, a stack of empty Tupperware

28 INLANDER SEPTEMBER 3, 2015

containers in tow. When 6 am arrived, I was relieved by our shop steward, a diehard union man with an impossibly persistent smile who’d been the daytime cops reporter for a almost two decades.

The cavernous and cluttered newsroom featured a half dozen desks, but was was empty the entire time I was there. The Los Angeles Times had a spot, but I only once saw it occupied. In the rear of the room, still cluttered with papers and business cards was the desk of legendary Times crime reporter Nieson Himmel. Six years earlier, he had collapsed on his way to that desk and died a short time later.

The news wire’s desk looked like the control board for a third-world space agency. Three police scanners chattering constantly, two computer screens, three telephones, a bevy of rolodexes, radios and an early 1990s-era printer that deafeningly churned out wire copy. But there were nights when it could be dead quiet. The printer, the scanners, the phones, the fax machine all filling the room with a silence that screamed to me that something was happening somewhere — and I was missing it. Things could, and would, explode at any moment, however, and there was rarely a happy medium between the nervous silence and chaos.

My only connection to the outside world — other than the nightly calls I’d place to the dozens of LAPD precinct watch commanders, sheriff’s deputies and sergeants at the myriad of cities that comprise L.A. County — was my editor. He worked in the wire’s headquarters across town. He once covered the Rhodesian War, an autobiographical detail about which I was reminded constantly. He also never let me forget that I was always doing something wrong.

“Why did you misspell the name of

that bakery that burned down?” he’d ask.

Every miscue was approached with a question like this, as if I could lend some logic to these presumably pre-planned screw-ups.

He’d hang up on me a few times a week and growl when I called with a question.

Although we spoke on the phone more than a dozen times during a shift, I met him in person only once. It was 11 am at a diner in Santa Monica. I hadn’t been to bed since my shift ended, but powered through a lunch during which he ordered a $40 glass of wine and quizzed me about foreign affairs. He was one of those assholes who couldn’t help it, an old time newsman who seemed to have crafted his personality from some newsroom he once saw in a late-night film noir. _________________ During a single shift I once wrote seven homicide stories (totaling 10 fatalities in total, as I recall), all of them gang violence.

This was the year in which Compton, a city of less than 100,000 people and just 10 square miles in size, saw 72 homicides.

Most of those murders never made it to the morning news or the pages of any newspaper because gang violence was an unspoken blight for Los Angeles. Still, I knew all about it.

I wrote about the body parts of a motorcyclist scattered across all lanes of the 405, scores of police shootings that we never investigated beyond taking the cops word for it and one case of a toddler who climbed the steps of a dresser in an attempt to change

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the channel on the TV — one of those big old boxy, heavy ones — only to have it fall on her head and kill her. That was the first one that made me cry.

One evening I followed up on a story that first broke on the prior shift — a vicious break-in stabbing just blocks from the university from which I’d just graduated. Just after midnight, I got the name of victim from the coroner.

She was a classmate of mine, her name vaguely familiar, and she’d been stabbed to death by an estranged boyfriend. Even later in the night, I wrote about that boyfriend. He had lit his car on fire somewhere near the beach while he was still inside.

All those deaths before had been merely names and ages and, perhaps most importantly, fuel for me to cram something through to the neurotic editor on the other end of the wire.

After an hour in morning rush-hour traffic home, I’d drink a beer to mute my rambling brain and hopefully be in bed before the two roommates in my tiny Inglewood-border apartment began getting ready for work. My weekend began at 6 am on Saturday mornings and by any luck I’d be awake by 1 pm and very drunk by 5 that evening. The booze was equal parts post-graduate revelry with my hard-drinking friends and the tonic for a work week

spent almost entirely alone.

I don’t regret taking that job and I’ve probably had worse gigs — I picked up garbage for an entire summer — but Jesus, was it a rough year. Oh yeah, I got out of there a year to the date of my first shift.

But I now understand that I learned how to write on the wire. My fingers were trained how to dance to whatever rhythm was appropriate for whatever subject and deadline.

I’m proud of that. It was just a hell of a way to learn.

I used to call the desk late at night for a few years after I left and check in on the poor stranger (which seemed to change every six or so months) occupying the seat in those weird and lonely hours.

I didn’t have much to say and I still don’t know why I’d call.

Maybe just to see if someone was still there and to tell them that someone else out there was also awake. 

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SEPTEMBER 3, 2015 INLANDER 29

WOR ST JOB S

Small Business Boot Camp An eight-week workshop offering: • Networking opportunities • Solid advice on your business plan • Start-up cost analysis

Make your small business dreams a reality.

Enroll Now! You’re only eight weeks away from success.

September 29–November 19 5:30 - 8pm, Tuesdays and Thursdays Cost: $250 to the first 20 registrants (The CCS Foundation is underwriting 20—$145 scholarships toward the full $395 value of the workshop.)

For information: 509-533-8482 Allison.Armfield@ccs.spokane.edu www.ccs.spokane.edu/workforce/

Community Colleges of Spokane provides equal opportunity in education and employment

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30 INLANDER SEPTEMBER 3, 2015

/HugosSpokane

‘Customers … swoop in like a tornado, leaving your carefully colorsorted stacks of thongs in a hopeless heap’

BY CHEY SCOTT Working at Victoria’s Secret wasn’t the worst minimum-wage job I’ve ever had. In fact, if the managers at my former store asked me to come back for a shift or two during the holiday season, I’d probably take them up on it. But in eight years off and on at one of the largest women’s undergarments brands in the world, you do see a lot. Including things that a sweet employee discount can’t make up for.

And yet, several of the company’s policies have changed for the better since my time spent slinging panties and bras. In response to one of the more controversial practices that’s made headlines this year, Victoria’s Secret has stopped scheduling workers on-call. For way too many weekends, especially during summers home from college, I couldn’t ever make firm plans with friends or family because of these on-call shifts. The tentative shifts require employees to call in an hour or two before they’re maybe scheduled to work, to see if the store is busy enough that they’re needed. Other retail giants have followed Victoria’s Secret’s move earlier this year to end on-call shifts, much to the relief of countless employees with outside responsibilities: school, a second or third job, families and, you know, just having a life.

But beyond unfavorable company practices like that, the absolute worst part of a job that required employees to dress in all black and to spend hours measuring the size of women’s breasts was undoubtedly dealing with jerk customers — people with no restraint in treating all minimum-wage employees like garbage.

These types of customers saw no issue with returning an item they’d obviously worn (including panties that were a serious biohazard) and lying about why. These are the customers who’d watch you tidy up a table full of product and, the minute you’d turn around to help someone else, would swoop in like a tornado, leaving your carefully color-sorted stacks of thongs in a hopeless heap. The worst of the worst couldn’t even be called customers at all, since they didn’t pay for the stuff they tore security sensors from, leaving the plastic tags in a neat pile under a stack of sweatshirts for the closing shift to conveniently find. Not to overlook all the unsupervised preteens whose parents would drop them off at the great free babysitter/entertainer of all urban centers — the mall — where they’d huddle behind fixtures pretending to try out beauty products while swiping lip-gloss tubes. We even used a special code on our employee headsets to alert each other of possible shoplifters.

Yep — retail really sucks in moments like these.

But if anything positive has come out of all those years with Victoria (besides being outfitted for life), it’s that I will forever be conscious of the retail workers’ often soul-crushing plight. 

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WOR ST JOB S

? ? ? ?

‘My first shift ever in retail was from midnight to 8 in the morning on Black Friday’

BY ERIN ROBINSON

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MORNING BRIEFING

Fresh News.

Every Morning.

Only on Inlander.com

32 INLANDER SEPTEMBER 3, 2015

My first day working at Old Navy was also my first day working in retail. I had watched their video tutorials with corny actors explaining how to deal with theft and other company policies, and though promised, never received any of the actual training for the jobs I was expected to perform. I was never taught how to operate the cash register, stock and pull items from the back, or even how to fold clothes. As ridiculous as that sounds, it’s quite the meticulous process. Most clothing stores, Old Navy included, have specific folding techniques, so all of my “work” ended up having to be re-folded by other employees who preferred to spend the extra time to do it themselves, rather than simply teach me. Makes sense, right?

Naturally, my first shift ever in retail was from midnight to 8 in the morning on Black Friday. Since I was absolutely useless at that point, I was left with the job of handing out coupons for the entirety of my shift to discount enthusiasts who found it necessary to camp out for hours to ensure that they got every polar fleece in all nine colors.

I continued working at the store for the Christmas season, but was stuck in the fitting room for every shift.

It wasn’t until my second-to-last day that I learned how to properly fold pants. It only took three months for neverproperly-trained me to realize that my employee discount wasn’t worth it in the end. 

‘Still half thinking that I’m dressing for a TV commercial, I climb in’

BY CHRIS BOVEY As an actor, you take any job you can get. My friend lets me know about an acting job that pays, and they want me. They like your style, he says. I don’t even have to audition. Being 19 and in college, I jump on it. My friend tells me it’s a local payday loan company and they’re shooting a commercial. I ask why he doesn’t want the gig. Too busy, he says, but he wanted to help his friends out. What a nice guy!

I arrive at the location on a sweltering 90-degree day. I’m curious why I don’t see a film crew; in fact, I don’t even see lights or a camera, nothing, just a lump of green fabric sitting on the floor. I ask for my contact, and he says, “You must be Chris! Are you ready to do this?” Thinking we must be traveling to the shoot, I say: “Sure! Let’s do it!”

Some people describe blacking out at traumatic events — it’s like that. I feel stunned and trapped when the guy holds up what looks like a large cartoon stack of dollar bills.

“So you enter in from the back,” the guy says.

Still half thinking that I’m dressing for a TV commercial, I climb in. I’m now “Bill,” the Check into Cash mascot. I gather myself. OK, this isn’t that bad. I can still kind of act and put this on my demo reel. Here we go!

“OK, can you see? Let me take your hand and I will show you where you will be working,” the guy says.

In my head, I ask, “Don’t you mean acting?”

He leads me to the sidewalk right by Division Street at rush hour. Still not seeing a camera, it slowly starts to sink in. As he starts describing how I am going to be dancing and waving to drivers for the next two hours, I can only begin to curse my friend for what is the most amazing bait-and-switch ever.

Crushed, my waving and dancing lack passion.

No one wants to come get a high-interest loan. I’m a prime target for trash, car honks and lots of middle fingers. I’m roasting inside of my large green costume, and I find new respect for all the workers in theme parks.

It’s the longest two hours of my life. I waddle the costume back in there, drenched in sweat. The guy asks how it went.

“How it went? How do you think it went? What feedback are you looking for here?”

That’s what I want to say, but instead, I mutter: “Fine.” I take home $50 and run.

When I bump into my friend the next day, all we can do is laugh. He got me. I let him know that in the future he can keep his acting jobs to himself. 

SEPTEMBER 3, 2015 INLANDER 33

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Capping a Career C O L L E G E F O O T B A L L P R E V I E W

Spokane’s Joe Dahl is set to anchor WSU’s offensive line in his senior season

BY HOWIE STALWICK

J

oe Dahl, drenched with sweat after practicing under the relentless Palouse sun, slowly made his way off the field to find a place to sit.

“I feel like the old guy,” Dahl says.

“I’m a redshirt senior!”

Indeed, Dahl is one of the Washington State Cougars’ best and most experienced players. In a world of uncertainty, the Cougars take comfort in knowing that only death and taxes are more certain than the steady excellence of Dahl at offensive tackle.

“He’s been such a solid, consistent player since he’s been here,” offensive line coach Clay McGuire says. “Once he gets a concept or technique down, we don’t have to re-teach it, re-teach it, re-teach it. He’s got it, so you can continue to move forward.

“He’s got football smarts, he’s intelligent, he understands what we’re trying to do.”

WSU fans must wonder what the former coaching staff was trying to do when they failed to offer Dahl — who grew up a Cougars fan and starred at Spokane Valley’s University High School — a scholarship until he had committed to Montana.

Dahl redshirted with the Grizzlies in 2011 before transferring to Washington State in January 2012. After sitting out the 2012 season to satisfy NCAA transfer rules, Dahl started all 25 games the past two years. However, he didn’t go on scholarship until the end of 2013, his “rookie” season. ...continued on page 38

SEPTEMBER 3, 2015 INLANDER 35

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C O L L E G E F O O T B A L L P R E V I E W

WASHINGTON STATE COUGARS “CAPPING A CAREER,” CONTINUED...

Joe Dahl played his high school ball at University High in Spokane Valley before heading to Montana and eventually landing at WSU.

“That first year,” Dahl recalls, “I started 13 games. I was paying my whole way (with student loans). That was a rough one. That hurt the pockets a little bit.”

Dahl tells his story with a smile on his face. A 6-foot-5, 308-pound road-grader on the field, Dahl is exceedingly polite and easygoing once the game ends. Former WSU quarterback Connor Halliday, who shared a house with Dahl in Pullman, once said Dahl would be his first choice if he had a sister who chose to date one of the Cougars.

“Just an unbelievable kid,” McGuire says. “You wouldn’t meet a nicer kid.”

The nice guy knows how to turn into a tough guy when necessary. The 2014 Cougars led the Football Bowl Subdivision with 771 pass attempts, and Dahl gave up

just one sack. Mind you, that’s against rivals who revved up their pass rush because the Cougars ranked dead last in rushing carries (243) and yards (478). As the left tackle, Dahl protects the quarterback’s blind side.

“He’s almost flawless sometimes,” left guard Gunnar Eklund says.

Dahl, an all-Pac-12 honorable mention pick last year, modestly spreads around the credit for his one-sack season.

“There were a lot of times last year where I could have given up sacks, I could have given up tackles in the run game, but somebody helped me out,” says Dahl, a marketing major. “My (running) backs, my quarterback and my offensive linemen helped me out.”

This season, Dahl is bigger, stronger

2014 record: 3-9, 2-7 Pac-12 Preseason coaches poll: 5th, Pac-12 North Notable returning players: OL Joe Dahl, QB Luke Falk, LB Jeremiah Allison, WR River Cracraft Notable newcomers: WR Gabe Marks (redshirted last year, played in 2013 season), RB James Williams, WR Tavares Martin Jr. Head coach: Mike Leach (4th season, 12-25 overall) Season opener: Portland State, Sat, Sept. 5 in Pullman at 11 am and more fit than ever. That won’t hurt one bit as he tries to fulfill his childhood dream of playing in the NFL. “You just look at the guy,” quarterback Luke Falk says, “and you know he’s worked his butt off this season to look like a freakin’ freak.”

Dahl said he never doubted he could play at the Pac-12 level, so he’s glad he left Montana after one semester.

“I didn’t really have my heart into it,” he says. “I really regretted not giving myself a chance to come here. I didn’t really

understand how to handle the recruiting process, and I didn’t really look to my parents as much as I should have.”

He adds, “If something turned around here and I wasn’t part of it, that would have killed me.”

Dahl has one last chance to help the Cougars turn things around, then he’ll aim for the pros.

“Luckily,” he says with a wry grin, “they turned it into a job in this country and you just can just play it and make a bunch of money. It’s a pretty good deal.” 

THE COUGS GET SERIOUS ABOUT DEFENSE

T

he Princeton Review ranks Washington State students the 14thhappiest college students in the nation.

Obviously, they didn’t poll WSU students who have watched the Cougars’ football team attempt to play defense in

38 INLANDER SEPTEMBER 3, 2015

recent years.

The new man placed in charge by Mike Leach of the raging tire fire that WSU’s defense had become is Alex Grinch. The Cougars’ third defensive coordinator and secondary coach in five years comes to Pullman after three years as the safeties coach at Missouri.

Grinch changed WSU’s base defense by removing a linebacker and replacing him

with a fifth defensive back. Perhaps more important, Grinch is an eyes-bulging, veinspopping, fire-breathing motivator who — at least during fall practices — had the Cougars racing to the ball and punishing those unfortunate souls who dared to take possession of the football on offense.

Three seniors give Grinch their stamp of approval.

“Coach Grinch demands perfection out

of everybody,” linebacker Jeremiah Allison says. “He’s really ‘hands-on.’ We don’t want to disappoint him.”

“Communication is cleaned up,” safety Taylor Taliulu says. “We know exactly what we are doing at all times.”

“Coach Grinch is a real intense coach, so we feed off his energy,” says linebacker Ivan McLennan.

— HOWIE STALWICK

Fired Up, Ready to Go Eastern Washington takes aim at a fourth straight Big Sky title

BY DAN NAILEN

T

he smoke enveloping the Inland Northwest isn’t utterly out of place considering the flaming red turf and the sign proclaiming EWU’s Roos Field “the inferno.” But the wildfires are causing some headaches for a team getting ready to defend its Big Sky title, make a run at a national championship — oh, and open the season against powerhouse Oregon on the road, with their former quarterback now wearing whatever insane combo of green, yellow, silver and white that Nike deems worthy.

The poor air quality having forced a cancelled practice the day before, the Eagles and head coach Beau Baldwin are working double-time during a practice last week. While hip-hop pumps through sideline speakers, linemen face off in a showdown of protection and attack techniques, while downfield the offensive skill players — quarterbacks, receivers and running backs — run through a rapid-fire exercise of passing plays. To the casual observer, every drill is quickly done, then dispatched to move on to another. To the coaches, though, who had the team on the field just 12 hours earlier for work under the lights, the energy is flagging. “Let’s see some urgency in this drill!” Baldwin bellows. The players react accordingly.

Urgency isn’t just a reaction to current circumstances for the Eagles, but a way of life for a team consistently boasting a high-flying offense that racks up points and yards at a prodigious rate. Baldwin’s system, entering its eighth year, has made the Eagles Big Sky champs or co-champs the past three years running, and arguably the team that every other school in the conference knows it has to knock off for any chance at winning the title. Having that target on the team’s back is something the coach welcomes.

“To have consistency in such a tough conference, to lose two Big Sky games the last three years and win three Big Sky

titles, it’s tough,” Baldwin says. “But we love the challenge of knowing we’re a team that’s going to be circled on a lot of people’s schedule.”

The team’s consistent success, including the 2010 Football Championship Subdivision national championship, has turned Eagles home games into must-go events — “it’s amazing how it’s

EASTERN WASHINGTON EAGLES

Last season’s record: 11-3 (7-1 Big Sky) Preseason coaches poll: 6th nationally, 2nd in Big Sky Notable returning players: WR Cooper Kupp, OG Aaron Neary, OT Clay DeBord Notable newcomers: LB Alek Kacmarcik, DE Jonah Jordan, DB Nzuzi Webster Head coach: Beau Baldwin (8th season, 67-25 overall, 45-11 in Big Sky) Season opener: at Oregon, Saturday, Sept.

5, 5 pm, Pac-12 Network

grown in the last five years,” Baldwin says — and made a big difference in the caliber of athlete Baldwin can recruit to the small Eastern Washington city.

That’s an advantage of evolving into an elite program; the Eagles don’t have to rebuild a roster year to year, they can instead reload.

This year, Baldwin says, the offensive line and receiver corps, including preseason All-American Cooper Kupp, are full of experienced leaders, while the defense — particularly the linebackers — will rely on young talent to replace departed veterans.

Redshirt freshman Alek Kacmarcik is part of the new blood of the linebacking crew, and he was in the thick of things at practice, barking signals to defensive players with more experience. The Woodinville, Wash., native is excited to get back on the field after being relegated

to the scout team last year, where he was named Player of the Year.

“I think there’s a lot we can step up from last year on the defense,” Kacmarcik says of the challenge ahead. “We have a younger squad, a lot of new pieces, but we have an opportunity to prove ourselves and show the Big Sky what we can do.”

Kupp has already proven himself, emphatically so, on the offensive side of the ball. Heading into his junior year, he’s already a two-time All-American and holder of numerous national, Eastern and conference receiving records. He spent his summer getting married and working at the Manning Passing Academy (of the Archie/Peyton/Eli Mannings).

Eagles fans can expect a lot of No. 10 scampering around and catching passes, but this year the ball will come from new starting quarterback Jordan West, who took the job after last year’s starter Vernon Adams transferred to Oregon.

Kupp says he started working with Adams’ various potential replacements last winter, getting as many reps as possible to establish the chemistry necessary to exploit opposing defenses to the fullest.

“I don’t think people realize how much a quarterback and receiver have to be on the same page,” Kupp says. “They have to be seeing the same things, hitting the same spots. It’s coming along really nicely with Jordan, and he’s done a great job rallying the guys.”

Much like his head coach, the newlywed receiving star relishes the chance to take on all comers as the team currently occupying the top of the Big Sky mountain. Being the “hunted” suits him, Kupp says.

“We embrace it. At the same time, we take that same attitude toward the people we play,” Kupp says. “While we expect to get everyone’s best, we want to give our best every time we step on a field. Nothing changes.” 

EWU’s All-American wide receiver Cooper Kupp.

C O L L E G E F O O T B A L L P R E V I E W

Under the Dome Idaho hopes this is the year the Vandals turn things around — for real this time

BY MIKE BOOKEY

U

nfortunately for Idaho’s football program, the preseason news about the team hasn’t really had anything to do with football. You’d think a team that’s only won five games over the course of the past four seasons would welcome anything that distracts from their on-field struggles, but that hasn’t been the case.

First, head coach Paul Petrino berated reporters from the Moscow-Pullman Daily News and Lewiston Tribune for what he felt was negative coverage of the team during its summer camp. One of the reporters went as far as to say that Petrino was so heated that he had to be physically restrained, which Petrino and other witnesses denied was the case. That story made its way around the national sports media before Petrino apologized for getting overheated and met privately with the reporters.

Only days later, it came to light that three unnamed Idaho football players had stolen clothing from the campus bookstore, but that Petrino had returned the goods and the charges were dropped.

So you can see why the Vandals and their fans would love to turn their eyes back to the playing field. Thankfully, that opportunity comes early, with a Thursday night game against Ohio at the Kibbie Dome. Yes, it’s easy to rip the struggling Vandals, but both players and coaches insist that things are going to change in Moscow.

They have a young, promising quarterback in Matt Linehan, a sophomore who threw for four 300-plus-yard games in last year’s 1-10 campaign. There was some speculation that redshirt freshman

40 INLANDER SEPTEMBER 3, 2015

IDAHO VANDALS

2014 record: 1-10, 1-7 Sun Belt Conference Preseason coaches poll: 11th Notable returning players: QB Matt Linehan, RB Elijhaa Penny, P Austin Rehkow, DE Quinton Bradley Head coach: Paul Petrino (3rd season, 2-21 overall) Season opener: Ohio, Thu, Sept. 3 in Moscow at 6 pm

Idaho’s head coach Paul Petrino is looking to bring some wins to Moscow.

Jake Luton would give Linehan a run for the job in camp, but Petrino says that Linehan was the starter from day one.

“As a quarterback, you need to be a great leader. He’s taken over that role and done a great job of leading,” Petrino says of Linehan, who was named a team captain.

Also on the offensive side of the ball, running back and kick returner Elijhaa Penny, a senior who transferred from a junior college and led the Vandals in rushing (589 yards). He’ll again receive most of the carries for an offense that’s been focusing on improving its ground game

this offseason.

On the other side of the ball, the Vandals made changes in a defense that gave up 34 or more points in all but one of their games last season. The face of that change came from just eight miles down the road; former Washington State defensive coordinator Mike Breske joined the Vandals in the offseason after he was fired following WSU’s disappointing 2014 season.

For fans heading to Moscow this season, there’s a new attraction — the Idaho Fan Zone, a 16,000-square-foot indoor space that will be open before home

games and features live music, food and drinks and other family-friendly entertainment. The Vandals are looking to gain some followers, which is something that Linehan and other team leaders know starts on the field.

“As we get better, hopefully we’ll be able to get more support, but it doesn’t come overnight. We need that support from the fans and the boosters,” Linehan told reporters in the last days of training camp. “They’ve been loyal to us, but we need to get more and more people in this dome on Saturdays.” 

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Whitworth head coach Rod Sandberg enters his second year with the Pirates.

Pine Bowl Pride Whitworth’s second-year coach has the Pirates believing

BY HOWIE STALWICK

R

od Sandberg, the hyper-enthusiastic coach of the Whitworth University football team, long ago replaced his blood supply with Red Bull. When smoky air forced the Pirates indoors for their first practice of the fall, Sandberg didn’t miss a beat.

“It doesn’t matter where we practice!”

Sandberg informed players gathered around him in the Whitworth Fieldhouse. “We love it! We would practice on a concrete parking lot if we have to!”

The Pirates return 15 starters from a team that finished 6-4 despite the usual hiccups associated with installing a new offense and defense under a new coaching staff.

“Last year was a learning process for us,” defensive end Danny Welstad says. “We have a lot of guys that started last year; they have the system down this year, so they’ll be more perfecting it rather than learning the entire thing.”

The Pirates piled up points and gave up points with equal abandon a year ago. Coaches emphasized weight training in the offseason, and Sandberg said 60 of 66 returnees improved their strength numbers.

“Defensively, that comes over to tackling,” Sandberg says. “We really have a lot of emphasis on tackling being better. On offense, we want to be able to run the ball better, be a lot more physical up front.”

Redshirt sophomore Ian Kolste and junior Jonah Koski are battling to replace record-setting

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WHITWORTH PIRATES

2014 record: 6-4, 4-3, Northwest Conference Preseason coaches poll: 4th Notable returning players: OL Joe Beattie, OL Kyle Cosby, DL Danny Welstad, WR Anthony Fullman (WR) Notable newcomer: QB Jonah Koski Head coach: Rod Sandberg (2nd season, 6-4 overall) Season opener: Whittier, Sat, Sept. 12 in Spokane at 11 am quarterback Bryan Peterson.

All-conference tackle Kyle Cosby, a 6-foot-7, 305-pound senior out of University High School, anchors the offensive line. Running back Duke DeGaetano ran for 652 yards and five touchdowns in 2014.

Anthony Fullman, Nick Kiourkas and Garrett McKay figure to rack up big receiving numbers in Whitworth’s up-tempo offense. They must cover for the loss of Brett Moser (38 receptions), who is expected to return to school in January after cancer surgery.

Welstad (eight sacks, 15½ tackles for loss) is the key man on a defense that should benefit from experience gained last year. The energy provided by Sandberg helps, too.

“He’s always excited, enthusiastic,” center Joe Beattie says. “Always ready to be out there, willing to help us out.”

That description also applies to Beattie, a co-captain who plays center at just 5-foot-10 and 245 pounds.

“He’s a fighter,” Sandberg says. “He’s a competitor. He understands the game. Very smart.” 

SEPTEMBER 3, 2015 INLANDER 41 SpokaneSymphony_ComstockPark_090315_4S_GG.tif

CULTURE | VISUAL ARTS and Mike Sonnichsen’s color photogram.

Both have that otherworldly quality — not quite an X-ray, not quite a photo — so typical of nontraditional photography.

One digital piece in particular received Hardesty’s top juror’s award.

Jenny Hyde’s The Blue Gate IV, was, says Hardesty, “a striking example of an artist allowing her process to embrace the mismatched flaws of a digital program seeking perfection.” In it, commonplace elements of the gate — aged wood, a bright-blue section of metal pipe — have been manipulated into a completely new image that is both odd and familiar.

“Admittedly, I was drawn to such a common subject,” says Hardesty. “Yet I feel the subject is something else entirely, maybe a reminder of the complexities of vision we take for granted as our mind seamlessly stitches the visual world back together.”

Using common materials in uncommon ways was also prevalent in several other artists’ work, including mixed media assemblages by Bernadette Vielbig and

“I gravitated toward works that felt fresh and offered surprises.”

CLOCKWISE FROM LEFT: “Sarah and Red Rooster” by Gordon Wilson, “Adrift” by Ben Sharp, and “enLightening” by Bernadette Vielbig. MEGHAN KIRK PHOTOS

Far Ranging The Chase Gallery’s juried exhibition casts a wide net across the region’s artistic fields

BY CARRIE SCOZZARO

S

ometimes the mark of a juror is readily apparent on an art exhibition.

Curated by Ryan Hardesty, Chase Gallery’s All Media Juried Show reflects both Hardesty’s contemporary sensibilities and regional roots.

An accomplished artist with a Masters of Fine Arts from Massachusetts College of Art and a Bachelor of Fine Arts from the University of Washington, Hardesty was born in Spokane. Formerly an art curator and exhibitions designer for

42 INLANDER SEPTEMBER 3, 2015

Northwest Museum of Arts and Culture, he says enjoyed the opportunity to reconnect with the region.

As he wrote in a statement accompanying the exhibition: “Having resided in the Inland Northwest for the last 15 years — and with Spokane being my original hometown — I was honored to make selections for this year’s All Media Juried Exhibition. While reviewing the submissions I had the good fortune to reconnect with familiar talents, while being introduced to those new to me.”

Hardesty is now the curator at Washington State University’s Museum of Art, giving him more authority on the region’s art.

“While making selections I gravitated toward works that felt fresh and offered surprises, choosing works with an experimental temperament as a way of celebrating risk-taking,” he says of the show at the gallery in Spokane’s city hall.

That translates into a range of media, including digital and photography like Zachary Kolden’s chemigram on C-type

Larry Ellingson (both of which are illuminated). Naoko Morisawa’s Jellyfish in Treasure Island uses oil-stained wood and paint to form an intricate mosaic that reminds one of fireworks in the night sky, while Erin Dengerink creates quirky yet poignant little tableaus out of natural and man-made materials. A home by the sea, for example, combines distressed paper, a baby formula bottle, a small shell and an oak shelf like a shrine to a distant memory.

The Chase Gallery exhibition manages to span a broad array of both media — painting, printmaking, ceramics, photography, drawing, sculpture — and genres by 30 mostly regional artists.

“My approach was not so much to frame various selections into themes, but to reinforce what I recognized as commonalities, while featuring a wide array of familiar and emerging artists of the region,” says Hardesty.

In all, the show is a sign that good things are happening in Spokane, observes Hardesty.

“It’s heartening to observe the many new arts organizations which have really developed from a grassroots place. I see the growth as an example of folks creating the kind of community they want and feel Spokane deserves.” n All Media Juried Show • Through Sept.

29 • Chase Gallery • 808 W. Spokane Falls Blvd. • Free • spokanearts.org • 625-6081

CULTURE | DIGEST

COMEDY WORLD’S HOTTEST COMEDIAN A

FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION

BY DANIEL WALTERS

nyone who was shocked by the $95 ticket price (plus service charges) that came with the announcement of Kevin Hart’s show at Gonzaga’s McCarthey Athletic Center hasn’t been paying attention.

Just as the likes of Jerry Seinfeld, Richard Pryor and Louis C.K. have been hailed at various points as the “biggest comedian in the world,” one could certainly make the case for Hart holding that spot in 2015.

As a stand-up, the 36-year-old’s work has evolved from that of a failed Chris Tucker wannabe into an arena-packing whirlwind who mines his personal insecurities for big laughs that transcend demographics of age, race and sex.

Once established as a stand-up draw, Hart quickly expanded his work as an actor, writer and producer, starring in movies like Ride Along (sequel coming in 2016), the remake of About Last Night, and the mockumentary series Real Husbands of Hollywood, playing a fictionalized version of himself. He’s hosted the BET Awards, MTV’s Video Music Awards, Saturday Night Live (twice), and took the lead in roasting Justin Bieber on Comedy Central earlier this year (truly God’s work).

He’s also a regular MVP of MTV’s Rock and Jock basketball game, so the confines of the Kennel should make him feel right at home for what is sure to be the most profane, and funny, night in the history of the venue.

— DAN NAILEN

TV | Poor Forrest MacNeil. The oblivious, square fellow just wants to REVIEW life, in all of its pain and glory. But, like a pushover improv partner, Forrest (played by Andrew Daly) just can’t say no. He has a tendency to review anything he’s asked to, from starting a cult, to getting divorced, to — most horrifyingly — eating 15 pancakes in one sitting. It’s cost him his marriage, his health, and whatever strands of self-respect he had remaining. This isn’t cringe comedy. It’s downright black comedy. And it’s hilarious, in a depressing, terrifying, occasionally redemptive way (10 pm Thursdays, Comedy Central).

Kevin Hart “What Now Tour” • Wed., Sept. 9 at 7 pm • $95.92 • McCarthey Athletic Center • 801 N. Cincinnati • ticketswest.com

GAME | For a time there, video games got too easy. You had your checkpoints, your regenerating health, your infinite lives. But now, hard games are all the rage. DARKEST DUNGEON takes a turn-based role-playing game and gives it the gorgeously bleak treatment it deserves. Your characters can come down with the “Yips,” hurting their accuracy, or tear their rotator cuff, reducing their damage. Most commonly of all, the dark corridors will send the stress of your characters skyrocketing, testing their mettle. Some will survive stronger; others will leave with new afflictions or die amid the ruins of heart attacks. But if they perish, fear not: A new band of doomed adventurers arrives in town every week.

PODCAST | I know next to nothing about sports, but know that, as a man, classic archetypal gender norms demand that I learn. And so far, on my journey to know sports, Slate’s HANG UP AND LISTEN podcast, which dives into all the sports news of the day, has been a great asset. Now, to fake my way through a sports conversation, all I need to do is simply repeat a few points the witty hosts made, and say “But’s that’s just my opinion. What do you think?”

I already tried it on my father, a former track coach, and he was momentarily confused: Why was his son trying to talk to him about track? Because I know sports now, Dad.

Kevin Hart makes a stop in Spokane on short notice.

FILM SPOKANE PRODUCTION COMPANY WINS BIG Hamilton Studio, helmed by photographer Don Hamilton, is known locally for its work on local and regional advertising campaigns, among other projects. Its profile was raised a notch this summer when a short film the company produced in Los Angeles called Ultraviolent won the Best in Show award for the Best in Shorts festival, a super-competitive online short film festival, the winners of which have gone on to win short film awards at the Oscars. The film stars and is directed by Michael Easton, a longtime soap opera star and also a successful graphic novelist.

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SEPTEMBER 3, 2015 INLANDER 43

Azar’s gyro is one of the local favorites on hand at Pig Out.

Local Foods Do Good Don’t forget the Spokane-area standbys when you’re cruising Pig Out in the Park

T

here’s a lot of food at Pig Out in the Park. That, of course, is a severe understatement, considering the more than 200 items available over the course of the Labor Day weekend event that’s become an institution in Spokane’s Riverfront Park. If you’re the sort of person who likes just about anything deep-fried, this is the place for you.

Indulgent items are easy to find, many from traveling food purveyors who work the fair circuits this time of year. Pig Out can also serve as a chance to try out some beloved Spokane dining institutions that you might not otherwise venture out to on a given night. Here are a few

44 INLANDER SEPTEMBER 3, 2015

menu items from local establishments that you shouldn’t overlook as you’re adding a couple of inches to your waistline this weekend.

AZAR’S CAFE EXPRESS

Gyro (chicken or lamb) This compact version of Azar’s Restaurant is a Pig Out mainstay; you really shouldn’t get a gyro from anywhere else. The family-owned Spokane business has been serving up tasty, authentic Greek and Middle Eastern cuisine since 1980, evidence that they’re doing it right.

With just one location on North Monroe, if you haven’t

been to Azar’s in a while, make sure to swing by their stand at Pig Out. While the menu offerings are more limited than at the restaurant, they’re all classics. Aside from gyros, Azar’s Pig Out menu includes some of the least-greasy options you’ll find at the event: Greek salad, veggie falafel and hummus. For dessert, baklava is going to be one of the lighter options as well. Truly, where it’s all at is Azar’s classic chicken and lamb gyros. Packed full of juicy meat and your choice of tahini or tsatziki sauce, you might get too full for dessert, but that’s OK. (CHEY SCOTT)

WHITE HOUSE GRILL

Baklava It’s one of the few things on the White House Grill menu not flavored with a heaping pile of delicious, yet — let’s be honest — smelly garlic. Baklava is a flaky Greek treat with sticky-sweet honey, nuts and spices oozing between dozens of layers of delicate phyllo dough, and the White House Grill’s version is just the right amount of sweet — a feat considering the dessert can easily taste overly sugary. When you dine out at the Post Falls-based restaurant, there may not be much room for dessert. At Pig Out in the Park, there are smaller bites from a variety of food stands to consider. White House Grill’s food truck will

The crowds, and the portions, are big at Pig Out in the Park. also offer selections of French fries, gyros and a spring bowl. But the freshly made baklava is the must-try. (LAURA JOHNSON)

PIZZA RITA

Pizza by the slice There are only so many exotic new flavors and deep-fried treats a person can stomach in one weekend. And if you have kids, you know how hard it can be to get them to dig into something they’ve never seen before. After you’ve sampled some unholy combo of Cajun, Thai and Mexican cuisine, you might find yourself looking for a quality, simple staple to keep you going during the long weekend of tunes. Something like Pizza Rita’s pizza by the slice is just what you’re looking for — a handy blast of fresh tomato sauce, mozzarella, veggies and meat. Pizza Rita is a local favorite, serving up piping-hot pies from its four locations and working with a variety of Spokane-area charities and organizations on fundraisers. At Pig Out at the Park, they’re a must-stop when you want to keep it easy and tasty. (DAN NAILEN)

LONGHORN BARBECUE

Pulled pork sandwich There will be several barbecue joints at Pig Out in the Park, and you’re welcome to sample all of them during the six-day event.

Who knows? You might find a choice brisket or ribs to die for.

But Longhorn Barbecue will be on hand, and you can take the time to stop and think, “Hey, I haven’t had Longhorn in a long time,” and take advantage of the fact that the beloved purveyor of smoked meats is right smack downtown. This Spokane favorite has been serving up Texas-style meats in the area since the 1950s and currently has restaurants in Airway Heights and Spokane Valley, as well as a location in western Washington. Longhorn is bringing their rib tips, beef brisket sandwich and German sausage to the festival, but the spotlight is on their juicy pulled pork. As for sides, there are Longhorn’s famous potato salad and barbecue beans, in case you somehow have room after that pulled pork.

(MIKE BOOKEY) Pig Out in the Park • Through Mon, Sept. 7, from 11 am-10 pm • Free admission • Riverfront Park, downtown Spokane

SEPTEMBER 3, 2015 INLANDER 45 Davenport_PeacockLounge_021215_12V_BD.tif

FOOD | OPENING

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Victor Vachon with a bottle of Sandpoint-made Mill Town Distillery spirits. CARRIE SCOZZARO PHOTO

Independent Spirits The booze-making boom hits North Idaho with the opening of Mill Town Distillery

BY CARRIE SCOZZARO

B

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46 INLANDER SEPTEMBER 3, 2015

rewing beer might have been easier, in terms of production and business planning, but Jessie and Victor Vachon had different ideas.

“We have to do our own thing,” says Jessie from inside Mill Town Distillery, the seventh Idaho-based distillery and the first of its kind in the Panhandle (Coeur d’Alene’s Bardenay is based in Boise).

Although vodka might have been an easier first run (because it’s flavorless), the Vachons were adamant about producing whiskey. Their No. 217, named for a Bonner County hiking area, is unaged corn whiskey with a sweet finish, while Lake Pend Oreille Rum is a smooth take on the classic cane-based alcohol, and the 120-proof corn whiskey Wildman of 217 has a more traditional smoky taste ($22.95).

Still to come is an on-site tasting facility, taking advantage of a 2014 law allowing them to serve three quarter-ounce free samples per customer per day. Mill Town could also become a “contract” liquor store for their spirits.

Currently, though, Mill Town liquors are only available at state stores, part of the mountainous regulatory landscape of hard alcohol in Idaho.

“They don’t know what to do with us,” says Jessie, who designed Mill Town’s logo and manages the business end, including calls to Idaho’s State Liquor Division.

“She doesn’t take no for an answer,” says Victor, who is equally tenacious. He spent 15 years as a police officer doing everything from drug task force to SWAT and weapons training.

“I did everything you would think was cool,” says Victor, who went on to Afghanistan as a private contractor before returning home. His idea for the distillery was sparked by a childhood discovery of remnants of a still on property fed by the same spring that Mill Town uses for its water source: “That kind of got me on the path to where we are now.”

Mill Town is also fed by what Jessie calls “farmer’s ingenuity.” For example, Victor taught himself to weld to create the mammoth 400-gallon still capable of producing two to three batches or roughly 60 cases per week.

“Whatever it is you need to do, just don’t be scared of it,” says Victor. “Eventually you’ll get good at it if you keep doing it.” n Mill Town Distillery • Sandpoint • milltowndistillery.com • 208-255-5532

FOOD | OPENING

A rice bowl from Kiko’s with a view on the side. CARRIE SCOZZARO PHOTO

Beyond the Hut Kiko’s Harbor House Grill brings quality food to McEuen Park

BY CARRIE SCOZZARO

R

Kiko’s Harbor House Grill • McEuen Park, Coeur d’Alene • Open daily 11 am-7 pm, weather-dependent

SATURDAY SEPTEMBER 26TH DISCOVERY PARK

2626 N. DISCOVERY PLACE SPOKANE VALLEY

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andy and Akiko Folk have run the Tiki Hut at Coeur d’Alene’s Independence Point for five years, but knew they could offer more than just typical concession food if they had more room and a kitchen.

Things like a Big Kahuna Dog topped with a homemade relish of grilled pineapple, jalapeño and serrano pepper, onion, cilantro and sesame oil. Or slow-marinated Luau Pork on a sandwich, skewered with rice or wrapped in lettuce with cucumber slaw.

That’s what they serve at Kiko’s Harbor House Grill, a new concession inside McEuen Park. The Chop Chop ($8) combines the best of summer produce — strawberries, blueberries, mandarin oranges — with the zest of feta cheese and balsamic dressing.

Shaved ice ($5) is a refreshing sweet treat for all ages, while adults can enjoy beer on-site ($4-$5).

With its island theme, Kiko’s is a seasonal stopover reminiscent of casual beachfront eateries the Folks might have visited while living in Southern California.

Originally from San Diego, Randy helped manage La Costa Resort & Spa there before relocating to Coeur d’Alene 10 years ago with wife Akiko and their children. The couple opened a Joey’s Smokin’ BBQ franchise in the Riverstone development for several years, then launched Tiki Hut. In addition, Randy manages Avondale Golf Course, where he’s helped transform dining services with a from-scratch menu (try their artisan stone-fired pizza or grilled sirloin sliders).

Besides Kiko’s Harbor House Grill, the Folks run Memorial Field’s concessions and get help from sons Devin and Julian. July was very busy, says Akiko, who points to the outdoor grill they use to finish meat dishes. Next year, she says, they’re hoping that in addition to keeping the contract, Harbor House adds a permanent kitchen. 

FRI SEPT 25TH

12pm - 1:30pm & 4:30pm - 5:30pm Early Check-In & T-shirt pick-up

SAT SEPT 26TH

8:30am Check-in/late registration 9:30am Awards & Announcements 10am Walk Begins 10:30am DsCNw food & fun 11am Valleyfest Opens

SEPTEMBER 3, 2015 INLANDER 47

FOOD | BEER

NOTABLE BEERS Hoppypotamus Pale Ale (6.0% ABV) Badgers Bounty IPA (7.6% ABV) Red Letter Amber (6.0% ABV) Josiah’s Revenge (8.8% ABV)

Come for the beer, but don’t overlook the sandwich lineup at Daft Badger Brewing. CARRIE SCOZZARO PHOTO

DA F T B A D G E R B R E W I N G 1710 N. Second St., Coeur d’Alene Founded: January 2015 Estimated 2015 barrels brewed: 550

D

espite writing up Daft Badger Brewing just weeks after the Coeur d’Alene operation opened early this year, we managed to omit them from our otherwise comprehensive Beer Issue last month.

Don’t take our mistake as a reason to overlook this brewpub, located in Coeur d’Alene’s midtown area. Inside what was once co-owner Darrell Dlouhy’s painting shop, you’ll find a full pub menu and a beer list that spans the style spectrum. On

one end, there’s the hop-forward Badgers Bounty IPA; on the other, the more malty Josiah’s Revenge, an imperial stout. The pub also regularly releases experimental small-batch beers, most recently a scotch ale with the Anchorman-inspired name

Scotchy Scotch Scotch Ale. Dlouhy says Daft Badger was intended to follow a brewpub model — “You can smell and hear us brewing while you’re here,” he says — but has recently begun distributing their beer in the greater Coeur d’Alene area. While Daft Badger has been asked to bring their beer into Washington, the young company — which Douhy owns along with Jake Capaul and Keith Bertram — is most interested in keeping their taproom busy and full of beer.

— MIKE BOOKEY

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 12, 2015 TWO GREAT EVENTS AT ONE BEAUTIFUL LOCATION

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FOOD | SAMPLER

FINE DINING BEVERLY’S 115 S. Second St. | Coeur d’Alene 208-765-4000 Perched on the seventh floor of the Coeur d’Alene Resort, Beverly’s unparalleled panoramic views of the lake, combined with cosmopolitan décor, attentive service and a wine cellar boasting more than 14,000 bottles, combine for an elegant dining experience worthy of a special celebration.

CHURCHILL’S 165 S. Post | 474-9888 There’s a feeling of old-school cool inside Churchill’s, thanks to the downtown steakhouse’s luxurious, masculine décor, top-shelf cocktails and traditional (in all the best ways) takes on sides and steaks. The star of the show here is the USDA prime Midwestern beef that’s dry-aged, then cooked at 1,800 degrees. The sides are à la carte, and the Cougar Gold mac and cheese is worth every single calorie.

HAY J’S BISTRO 21706 E. Mission Ave. | Liberty Lake 926-2310 Located directly off the highway in Liberty Lake, Hay J’s Bistro’s blocky, strip-mall exterior — and book-cover first impressions — are immediately overturned the second you open the door. Inside, the bistro is pure class, with candle flames flickering atop wine bottles at the tables, and metallic vine sculptures wrapping around wine bottles on the walls.

With a wine list boasting 100 choices and a wine bar next door, the selection manages to live up to the hype set by the décor. The relatively pricey menu boasts steaks, tapas, burgers, pastas and risottos — but seafood remains the most popular genre.

LUNA 5620 S. Perry | 448-2383 The Herbin’ Martini and other signature drinks bring in a steady number of lounge regulars, but Luna’s reputation comes from a consistently innovative menu made with impeccably chosen fresh and local ingredients. They have everything from prawns to lamb ragu to seasonal fish. It’s also a great place for a private event.

SANTÉ RESTAURANT AND CHARCUTERIE 404 W. Main | 315-4613 Chef Jeremy Hansen has reached celebrity status for his culinary prowess, not just here in Spokane but across the nation. At Santé, he makes his own sausages and cured meats; all the sauces, dressings and condiments are made from scratch, too. But this upscale European eatery is also surprisingly veggiefriendly, with a vegetarian quiche du jour and a vegetable sandwich with tomato, basil, zucchini, eggplant, goat cheese and balsamic vinegar, all on a baguette.

WILD SAGE AMERICAN BISTRO 916 W. Second | 456-7575 Wild Sage elegantly presents their seasonal menu, with a strong focus on local ingredients and whole foods. The menu is subject to change without notice, and many patrons visit just to be surprised. Drinks are crafted here, made with freshpressed juice instead of processed mixes, and top-shelf liquor. Try their trademark Wild Sage — made with fresh, muddled sage leaves, gin, Cointreau, lime and sugar. n

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SEPTEMBER 3, 2015 INLANDER 49

A Hike Becomes a Death March A Walk in the Woods lacks a cinematic smart-ass

BY PAUL CONSTANT

W

e’re a long way from the glory days of cinematic smart-asses.

Hollywood once enjoyed a long tradition of wise-ass protagonists whose inability to let a dry witticism fly by unmolested often landed them in trouble, from Paul Newman in Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid to Paul Newman in The Sting to… let’s see… Paul Newman in The Verdict to, uh, Paul Newman in Nobody’s Fool. OK, maybe there was only one consistently great cinematic smart-ass. On his best days, George Clooney can pull off a Newman-esque slyness, but his delivery varies from film to film, and besides him, the movies are filled with earnest lunkheads like Vin Diesel or sly action stars like Chris Evans who never really get a chance to test-drive sardonic humor.

All this is relevant because it’s pretty much impossible to write about A Walk in the Woods without noting that Robert Redford originally bought the rights to Bill Bryson’s memoir with a mind toward producing it as a film that re-teamed Newman and Redford one last time. Redford would play Bryson, an aging travel writer setting out to hike the Appalachian Trail, and Newman would play Stephen Katz, a down-on-his-luck old friend of Bryson’s who volunteers to hike the trail with him. (In the book, the men are closer to middle-aged than just plain aged, but to dwell on the many sacrifices of adaptation is to go slowly mad, so we’ll just let them lie.) Once you know the backstory, you can’t really watch Walk without imagining the alternate universe where Newman lived long enough to make the film.

Not that Nick Nolte, who eventually landed the part of Katz, is by any means bad. In fact, Nolte is the A WALK IN THE WOODS best part of Walk; his gargling-withrazor-blades voice and groundRated R beef face add a believability that Directed by Ken Kwapis a looker like Newman might not Starring Robert Redford, Nick Nolte, Emma have been able to pull off, and Thompson Nolte brings a subtle physical comedy to the role — bumping into a door here, pulling off a funny little Chaplin walk there — that makes Katz immensely likable, even as he admits to felonies and adulteries and plenty of other broken laws, commandments, or both.

Walk doesn’t know what to do with a good smart-ass line when the script delivers one: before they begin their trip, Bryson asks Katz, “How are you with bears?” And Katz replies, “They haven’t gotten me yet.” You can imagine Newman’s delivery rolling around on his tongue like a dry Champagne, but Nolte plays it for broad laughs, and the editing steps awkwardly on his delivery.

The problem with Walk is a total lack of chemistry. Redford and Nolte never demonstrate the familiarity that their roles demand; they feel like acquaintances rather than friends who once backpacked Europe together and then had a falling-out that lasted some four decades. And director Ken Kwapis can’t perform the basic alchemy required to bring a film to life.

Long stretches of Walk look as cheap as a TV movie, and the conversations often fall flaccid. Every conflict in the film is sidestepped or ignored, either through bad editing or lazy screenwriting.

The frustrating part is that Walk has a good movie buried inside it, a patient meditation on aging and friendship. Unfortunately, it relies on too many bad jokes about women (Women, amirite? They’re fat! They’re slutty! They’re crazy!) and not enough moments of awe regarding nature, and life, and the pleasures of forsaking the intellectual life for the physical.

There’s way too much ass in this movie, and not nearly enough smart. n

50 INLANDER SEPTEMBER 3, 2015

FILM | SHORTS

OPENING FILMS MISTRESS AMERICA

Greta Gerwig plays Brooke, a character bursting with plans — for an ironic T-shirt line, a TV show, a restaurantslash-barbershop-slash-community center — but deflates on the followthrough. Her soon-to-be stepsister Tracy (Lola Kirke) is a hopeful writer and a college freshman. After the two meet, Tracy decides to study Brooke as a possible subject for her stories.

Directed by Noah Baumbach. At AMC (MB) Rated R

PHOENIX

Nelly Lenz was a jazz singer before she was sent to a Nazi concentration camp.

She survived, but was badly disfigured and underwent facial reconstruction surgery, leaving her almost unrecognizable when she returns to Berlin in search of her husband, Johnny, who thinks she’s dead. She finds Johnny, who may have helped surrender her to the Nazis in the first place, but he doesn’t recognize her. Still, he thinks Nelly looks enough like his supposedly dead wife to have her pretend to be her so that he can get her inheritance.

The German-language period piece has been compared to Hitchcock films for its thrilling take on mistaken identity. At Magic Lantern (MB) Rated PG-13

THE TRANSPORTER REFUELED

In the first three Transporter flicks, Jason Statham played freelance courier Frank Martin, whose martial arts skills inevitably came in handy during deliveries. In this prequel, Ed Skrein plays a younger Martin who has to juggle taking part in a complicated bank heist — his day job — while trying to rescue his father from a sadistic Russian kidnapper. Mayhem and fisticuffs naturally ensue, along with plenty of car chases on the streets of Paris. (DN) Rated PG-13

WOODS

A WALK IN THE

Bryson (Robert Redford) is an aging travel writer setting out to hike the Appalachian Trail. Steven (Nick Nolte) is a down-on-his-luck old friend of Bryson’s who volunteers to hike the trail with him. Directed by Ken Kwapis, the buddy film struggles to deliver the wit you’d expect from the talent of its cast, but does land a few zingers. (PC) Rated R

NOW PLAYING AMERICAN ULTRA

Jesse Eisenberg plays Mike Howell, a small-town stoner working at a convenience store whose spy-killer skills are suddenly “activated” by a mysterious stranger (Connie Britton). When dudes come to kill him, he fends off every attempt, along with some help from his girlfriend, Phoebe, played by Kristen Stewart. (MS) Rated R

AMY

Amy Winehouse only made two albums, and her chaotic personal life drew far more attention than her Grammy wins, monster hits and stunning voice. The documentary Amy puts the focus back on the singer’s artistry, at least for 90 minutes, as it tells the story of how a girl focused on the joy of music rose to fame — only to have that fame push her toward a dramatic and tragic demise at just 27. At Magic Lantern (DN) Rated R

ANT-MAN

Scott (Paul Rudd) was just released from prison and a return to a life of crime seems like the only option — until Hank Pym (Michael Douglas) shows up with a high-tech suit and a unique offer. He wants Scott to combine the suit’s abilities — communicating with and controlling ants, in addition to becoming the same size and strength as one — with his own breaking-andentering talents to shut down a sinister operation. Rated PG-13 (SR)

FANTASTIC FOUR

It’s been about a decade since the last version of the Fantastic Four came out

(2005), but apparently since Marvel movies are all the rage these days, it’s already time for a reboot. This time, the new kids on the block are Kate Mara as Sue Storm, Miles Teller as Reed Richards, Michael B. Jordan as Johnny Storm/Human Torch and Jamie Bell as The Thing. The film starts from the beginning of the F4 canon, showing us how the four brainiacs got their superpowers, and immediately enters them into conflict to save the world from the despicable Dr. Victor Von Doom. (CS) Rated PG-13

THE GIFT

Robyn and Simon have just moved back to Los Angeles when they run into Gordo in a shop. Simon doesn’t remember the guy at all, except that he was a bit of an oddball, which seems proven when Gordo shows up at the house without invitation several times, bearing increasingly and inappropriately extravagant gifts, and only when Robyn is home alone. Then things get even weirder. (MJ) Rated R

HITMAN AGENT 47

Gamers will recognize Hitman Agent 47 for the video game series it is based on. Action film fans will see it as the reboot of the 2007 film Hitman, which has a similar structure — a bald white man is a genetically modified killer with superhuman abilities and, in the next 90-ish minutes, there’s lots of action and conspiracy. However, the 2015 reboot is more about that main character, known as Agent 47. (MS) Rated R ...continued on next page

SEPTEMBER 3, 2015 INLANDER 51

FILM | SHORTS

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Pixar’s newest film (following 2013’s Monsters University) is a major “emotion” picture — it’s about how choices between conflicting emotions drive the life of a Minnesota family. Young Riley (Kaitlyn Dias) and her parents (Diane Lane and Kyle MacLachlan) struggle with joy, sadness, fear, anger and disgust — that’s Amy Poehler, Phyllis Smith, Bill Hader, Lewis Black and Mindy Kaling, respectively — and the personified emotions create their own problems inside Riley’s head. (MS) Rated PG Woody Allen directs this drama that features Joaquin Phoenix, Parker Posey and Emma Stone. Phoenix stars as a philosophy professor with a drinking problem and a midlife crisis. His student-turned-lover (Stone) gives him some purpose but doesn’t fulfill him. What does is overhearing a conversation that makes him contemplate murdering a corrupt judge. At Magic Lantern (MS) Rated R

JURASSIC WORLD

This reimagining of the beloved trilogy features a familiar plot line but an entirely new cast, and even a new direction. Though Steven Spielberg is executive producer, Colin Trevorrow has stepped up to the role of director for this fourth journey into the Jurassic extravaganza. Set 22 years postJurassic Park, the dreamed-about, fully functioning dinosaur amusement park is finally a reality. (KA) Rated PG-13

THE MAN FROM U.N.C.L.E.

The story begins in 1963 as CIA agent Napoleon Solo (Henry Cavill) attempts to extract Gaby Teller (Alicia Vikander) from East Berlin, with KGB operative Ilya Kuryakin (Armie Hammer) in pursuit. Gaby’s father (Christian Berkel) is a nuclear scientist who has disappeared, and she may be the key to finding him before neo-Nazis manage to obtain their own nuclear weapon. When it becomes clear to both the Americans and Soviets that this third-party threat is the true menace, they team up to recover the dangerous technology. (SR) Rated PG-13

MERU

Meru gets its audience emotionally invested in what’s happening on screen with the efforts of three mountain climbers to scale a 21,000-foot peak known as the Shark’s Fin on India’s Mount Meru. And it does it by some simple additions to the tried-and-true tropes of lesser films in the genre; namely, by giving viewers each of the climbers’ personal backstories, exploring their respective motivations for such a death-defying lifestyle, and illustrating the importance of the team’s

52 INLANDER SEPTEMBER 3, 2015

THE NEW YORK INLANDER TIMES

VARIETY

(LOS ANGELES)

METACRITIC.COM (OUT OF 100)

Inside Out

91

Meru

74

Straight Outta Compton

72

Minions

56

Man from UNCLE

55

A Walk in the Woods

52

INSIDE OUT

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interpersonal relationships in pursuit of a seemingly impossible goal. At Magic Lantern (DN) Rated R

MINIONS

Minions opens with a grand history of the race, starting with their evolution from tiny one-yellow-celled creatures from the Despicable Me movies floating in the primordial seas through the form we see them in now. The film is overly thick with backstory about the cute little buggers and distracts from the charm they brought to the original films. (MJ) Rated PG

MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE ROGUE NATION

Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise in full Tom Cruise mode) is disavowed by the U.S. government yet again, even as he chases down a criminal organization that just needs one more MacGuffin to take over the world. Hunt and his familiar crew (Simon Pegg, Jeremy Renner and Ving Rhames) have to travel to Havana or Morocco or Minsk for reasons you won’t remember within 30 minutes of leaving the theater but will enjoy nevertheless. (PC) Rated PG-13

NO ESCAPE

Jack (Owen Wilson) is an engineer, and he has moved his family — wife Annie (Lake Bell) and little girls Beeze (Claire Geare) and Lucy (Sterling Jerins) — to an unnamed Asian country to work. On the morning after they arrive at their four-star hotel, they wake up to discover that a revolution has taken over the city. Now, it’s up to Jack to get his family to safety. (MJ) Rated R

RICKI AND THE FLASH

Meryl Streep plays Ricki, a mother of three who abandoned her family to become a rockstar. Ricki returns home to her remarried ex-husband, Pete, after their daughter Julie (Streep’s real-life daughter Mamie Gummer) suffers a great heartbreak. As Ricki confronts what has become her past, she seeks forgiveness and reconciliation. (MS) Rated PG-13

SHAUN THE SHEEP MOVIE

This is a film without words. There’s plenty of grunts, burps, squeaks, bahs and other noises, just no one talks — not even the humans, who express

WATCH IT AT HOME

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themselves in garbled tones. But the story, brought to life with claymation, is still well communicated. Our sheep hero Shaun must lead his flock on a rescue mission to the big city after an accident causes their farmer to leave the farm. (LJ) Rated PG

STRAIGHT OUTTA COMPTON

Pioneering gangsta-rap crew N.W.A. gets the movie treatment their story has long deserved in this docu-drama tracing the ’80s rise of the group led by now-icons Ice Cube, Dr. Dre and EazyE. Arriving from the dangerous streets overrun by L.A.’s gang culture, the group sold millions of albums thanks to songs full of violent and misogynist fantasies, inspiring a generation of West Coast rappers to follow suit — and the F.B.I. and President George H.W. Bush to label them domestic terrorists.

Straight Outta Compton shows N.W.A.’s revolutionary career trajectory until the band exploded in a blast of professional jealousy and rage. (DN) Rated R

TRAINWRECK

In addition to starring, Amy Schumer wrote the script for Trainwreck, casting herself as a monogamy-averse magazine writer who doesn’t know quite how to handle herself when she gets involved in a real relationship with an interview subject, a nice-guy sports orthopedic surgeon (Bill Hader). Rated R (SR)

WAR ROOM

This is a Christian drama centered on Tony and Elizabeth Jordan and their daughter Danielle. As the couple seems to face a divorce amid intense bickering, Elizabeth happens to meet Miss Clara, a wise old black woman, and follows her lead of prayer in the “war room.” (MS) Rated PG

WE ARE YOUR FRIENDS

Zac Efron stars in another music-based movie as Cole Carter, a DJ who wants to make it big. He is soon torn by the people who represent his passions: his mentor who wants to help shape him into a successful DJ, his mentor’s girlfriend who he becomes romantically entangled with, and his friends with whom he has both struggled and partied. (MS) Rated R 

FILM | REVIEW

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NO ESCAPE

Greta Gerwig teams up once again with Noah Baumbach in Mistress America.

Living in a Song Noam Baumbach and Greta Gerwig gives us a familiar yet engaging story in Mistress America

BY KIMBERLEY JONES

I

n Noah Baumbach’s second release in one of Brooke’s seemingly charmed, quasi-boho lifecalendar year, following the bitter-tasting, style. But Tracy’s also a sponge, and a cutthroat. olds-against-the-millennials comedy While Like every writer, she steals her stories from real We’re Young, he and co-screenwriter/star Greta life, and she rightly suspects Brooke will make Gerwig borrow bullet points from Breakfast at for a hell of a story.

Tiffany’s: A naïf writer falls under the spell of a When Gerwig is in the frame, the film has an self-invented Manhattan party girl who scrapes antic — sometimes frantic — screwball vibe, melby on the largesse of others. lowed only by the terrific, 1980s-slanting synth Gerwig plays Brooke, the Holly Golightly score by Dean Wareham and Britta Phillips. She type, getting a little long in the tooth. In their can be a bit much, the chaos that surrounds her previous collaboration, Frances Ha, Baumbach a bit cartoonish, and the filmmakers are savvy and Gerwig dreamt up a woman defined by her to that fact. This isn’t Brooke’s story, and that’s free-wheeling spirit; in contrast, a good thing. A muse is only MISTRESS AMERICA as interesting as her impact Gerwig’s character here is bursting Rated R with plans — for an ironic T-shirt on the artist — and we glean Directed by Noah Baumbach line, a TV show, a restaurantenough from Tracy’s writing, Starring Greta Gerwig, Lola Kirke, slash-barbershop-slash-commuand from Kirke’s portrayal Matthew Shear nity center — but deflates on the (age-appropriate immature, follow-through. Yet Brooke moves but alert and cautiously lickthrough the world with the confidence of someing the edge of transgressive) to sense she’s a one who’s certain she’s destined for greatness. real talent in the making. Mistress America may be She’s her own unreliable narrator.

Baumbach’s most probing consideration of the Brooke is a great character, and Tracy (Lola writer’s process and development, a continuing Kirke), a hopeful writer, is smart to spark to point of interest in his filmography, from Kicking her. A freshman at Barnard College, she aims and Screaming to The Squid and the Whale and Marto gain admittance to a secret, briefcase-toting got at the Wedding. literary society, in a subplot dressed in the “We look like we’re in a song,” Tracy deadpan-bemused tonality tics of Wes Anderson, observes in a scenic moment shared with a classanother sometimes-collaborator of Baumbach’s. mate. It’s a moment in which she plausibly might When Tracy first meets Brooke — her soon-to-be have been kissed. But she pauses it to reframe stepsister, in what appears to be a hasty marriage real-life experience through the prism of art, between Tracy’s divorced mom and Brooke’s something she’ll do again and again — owl-eyed widower father — her eyes are wide with the thrill and present, but removed. She’s a born writer. n

R Daily (4:20) 6:40 9:00 Fri-Mon (11:30) (2:00)

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PG Daily (2:00) (4:30) 7:00 9:30 Fri-Mon (11:30)

WE ARE YOUR FRIENDS R Daily (2:15) 7:10 9:25

NO ESCAPE

R Daily (2:00) (4:20) 6:40 9:00 Fri-Mon (11:30)

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R Daily (4:40) 9:20 Fri-Mon (11:50)

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R Daily (2:45) 7:15 9:30 Fri-Mon (12:20)

THE GIFT

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Still Here

Former Television guitarist Richard Lloyd won’t let himself forget

BY LAURA JOHNSON

R

Punk legend Richard Lloyd brings his fuzzy and fluid guitar skills to the Bartlett as part of a short Northwest tour. GODLIS PHOTO

ichard Lloyd still lives in New York City. He’s tried living in other cities, even ones in exotic locales, but nothing else but the bustle of NYC feels like home.

It’s the place where most of his music was imagined. the magical city where the now-closed CBGB came alive with Lloyd’s former band Television and other seminal punk and new-wave acts like the Ramones, Talking Heads, Patti Smith and Blondie.

But this month he’ll leave his cramped (he admits to saving everything) two-bedroom apartment and head west with his band — starting in Vancouver, B.C., with stops along the way to Yellowstone National Park, including one at the Bartlett next week.

He hasn’t performed much this year. He’s found a new art form.

“I’ve been painting since late February. I’ve sold quite a few. I’ve already outsold Van Gogh,” Lloyd says with a laugh. “I sometimes finish three paintings in a day. They’re stacked floor to ceiling in my office.”

But the music won’t leave him. He writes songs every day; he just never writes anything down. It’s saved up there in his episodic memory. His guitar? That never lays idle for too long.

“You have to practice. You can’t slack off at all,” Lloyd says. “Otherwise, like a razor blade, you don’t sharpen, you’ll lose the edge. When I was younger, there were people who could play better, but I was hungrier. I would play and play in my closet, and then eventually, I woke up and I was good.”

Speaking from his apartment last week, Lloyd is as quick to quote a Bible verse as something from the Quran.

He’s a source of poetry, highbrow literature and Eastern philosophy. He constantly flips between answering questions and talking about things like the time he walked from San Francisco to L.A. He explains his bipolar disorder; he’s able to keep working with the help of a psychiatrist and medication.

At 63, Lloyd has experienced much strife in his life.

Though he left the band in 2007, Television tours on without him after years of trying to keep the group together. ...continued on next page

SEPTEMBER 3, 2015 INLANDER 55

MUSIC | PUNK “STILL HERE” continued...

“The band was like a bad girlfriend,” he explains.

“My loyalty was with them for 35 years and no record … no new record [since 1992]. I finally said, ‘I’ve had it, I’ll make my own records and I’ll be fine.’ I am fine.

Although financially, not really. It’s simply not true that all rock stars are rich.”

The band’s 1977 debut Marquee Moon, one of the finest releases of the punk era, and its 1978 follow-up Adventure solidified Television as a rock institution, but by then egos were clashing and the band took a 13-year hiatus. At the time Lloyd was also battling drug addiction. He tried everything there was back then, he says. But hitting rock bottom caused him to clean up.

“There are two types of people who play rock ’n’ roll: those who don’t want to grow up, and then those who

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56 INLANDER SEPTEMBER 3, 2015

haven’t grown up,” Lloyd explains. “It’s the second group I wouldn’t touch. They haven’t matured, they wear bandanas and are out looking for sex. That’s amateur stuff.”

The current tour includes a four-piece pro outfit.

They won’t be too rehearsed, Lloyd insists; there has to be room for spontaneity, after all. He plans to play through everything, from the Television era, his work with Matthew Sweet and Jimi Hendrix covers, up to his latest solo album Lodestones: Nuggets From the Vault (2010).

“What I can’t stand is when a performance is perfect,” Lloyd says. “Otherwise there’s no danger. The bands that I saw when I was growing up in New York, you didn’t know if they would get through the songs. There were times I’d come off the stage with Television just breathing hard, thinking ‘How can we do it?’ Playing music is

sometimes impossible.”

Slowly, Lloyd is working on his memoirs; he says he has a “zillion stories” to tell, including the demise of the legendary CBGB. Lloyd says he’s not sad about the 2006 closure. He played on stage with Patti Smith at the venue’s final show. He said his goodbyes.

“It’s beyond OK; the place is closed,” Lloyd says. “It had outlived its lifespan; after hardcore, after ’87, it was nothing. It was eight bands a night and none of them were good. All of my memories of the place are still intact.

Nothing can be undone, everything is in eternity.” n Richard Lloyd (formerly of Television) • Thu, Sept. 10, at 8 pm • $15/$18 day of • All-ages • The Bartlett • 228 W. Sprague • thebartlettspokane.com • 747-2174

MUSIC | FESTIVAL

See spokanepigout.com for the full Thu-Mon Pig Out in the Park music lineup at Riverfront Park.

Singer-songwriter Whitney Mongé along with Josh Starkel (inset) of Duke Evers make their Pig Out debuts.

Pig Out Homecoming Two locals return to the annual free Labor Day weekend festival

By Laura Johnson

T

wenty-something musicians Josh Starkel of the band Duke Evers and singer-songwriter Whitney Mongé are up-and-coming in Seattle — as their respective parents, who still reside here, so proudly called to let us know. This weekend, the two come home to Spokane to play the Pig Out in the Park festival for the first time, an event they each grew up attending.

WHITNEY MONGÉ

She’s a busker at heart, finding her smoky voice on the streets of the Emerald City, but just last month, Whitney Mongé opened for Ziggy Marley at Seattle’s Woodland Park Zoo. Playing in front of 5,000 people was a breakthrough moment, says the singer-songwriter, who moved to Seattle from Spokane eight years ago. But the next day, she was busking on the streets.

“It’s difficult going back to the street after that, but at the same time it was perfect to go get some humble

pie. Out on the street, there’s not much room for ego,” Mongé says.

The North Central High School graduate calls her music alternative soul, because while she comes from a soulful place, the tunes are rooted in the grunge and emotionally charged songwriting of the 1990s. For the past 10 months, Mongé has played with a backing band and booked mostly stage gigs. But don’t be surprised to see her playing downtown Spokane.

“I try to busk almost everywhere I visit, because it’s a great way to see how you’ll be received somewhere,” says Mongé, currently working on her third album. “It’s nerve-wracking to know if people are going to stop or if they will care, and it’s a little addicting.”

Whitney Mongé • Sun, Sept. 6, at 7:15 pm • River Stage; also, Sat, Sept. 5, at 9 pm • nYne • 232 W. Sprague

DUKE EVERS

Bandmates Josh Starkel and Kyle Veazey live together in an old Victorian house on Seattle’s Capitol Hill, one that’s been converted into apartments. When they met online three years ago, each looking for a new roommate, they didn’t expect a band in the making. But as soon as they started rocking out together — Starkel on guitar and vocals, Veazey on drums — their neighbors, rather than call the cops to complain, came by to smoke weed and listen. The guys figured this was right.

Labor Day weekend is packed for the rock ’n’ roll duo. After playing Pig Out in the Park on Friday, they quickly head to Seattle for a set at Bumbershoot on Saturday. Next week, they’re headed to San Diego to record their first album with Randm Records — an unexpected turn of events, says Starkel, who attended Mt. Spokane High School through his sophomore year.

Starkel, who turns 26 on Friday, is glad to show his old stomping ground just how far he’s come. The only other show they’ve played in Spokane was at the Big Dipper in April.

“I hope that people are ready for a raucous indie show that wouldn’t normally play Pig Out,” Starkel says. n Duke Evers • Fri, Sept. 4, at 5:30 pm • City Hall Stage

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SEPTEMBER 3, 2015 INLANDER 57

music | sound advice

ROCK JACKIE GREENE band

J

ackie Greene’s vocal and multi-instrumental skills are such that we should all be singing his praises from the nearest mountaintop. Self-taught on guitar and piano, Greene has evolved from small-town coffeehouse hero into a go-to ace addition for various bands, as well as an excellent solo artist in his own right. Yet he remains an unknown commodity for many. Back to Birth, Greene’s first new album in five years, is packed with timeless melodies and a slew of tasty rock hooks, as well as some of the rootsy grit that inspired both the Black Crowes and the Grateful Dead’s Phil Lesh and Bob Weir to tap him for various tours and one-off bands since his previous solo work. New songs like “Silver Lining” and “Motorhome” are perfect examples of his blend of rock, country, blues and R&B, and should fit nicely in his Spokane set.

— DAN NAILEN Jackie Greene Band with Lauren Shera • Tue, Sept. 8, at 8 pm • $30-$40 • All-ages • Bing Crosby Theater • 901 W. Sprague • bingcrosbytheater.com • 227-7638

J = the inlander RECOMMENDs this show J = All Ages Show

Thursday, 09/03

Arbor Crest Wine Cellars, Harvey Stanley J The Bartlett, Melvins [Sold-Out] Black Diamond, The Diamond DJ Boomers Classic Rock Bar & Grill, Randy Campbell acoustic show J Bucer’s coffeehouse pub, Open Jazz Jam with Erik Bowen Coeur d’Alene Casino, PJ Destiny The Flame, DJ WesOne Handlebars, Muddy Frog Water The Jackson St., Steve Livingston’s acoustic jam J Laguna Café, Just Plain Darin The Lantern Tap House, DJ Lydell LeftBank Wine Bar, Nick Grow J Riverfront Park, Pig Out in the Park feat. Too Slim & the Taildraggers, Hey! is for Horses, The Dodgy Mountain Men, the Backups, Angela Marie Project and more J Spokane Arena, Tim McGraw with Billy Currington and Chase Bryant Timber Gastro Pub (208-2629593), Chris Rieser & Jay Rawley Acoustic The Viking Bar & Grill, Casey Ryan, Kellen Rowe Zola, Anthony Hall and Boomshack

Friday, 09/04

Baby Bar, DJ Dankness J The Bartlett, Monk Parker Beverly’s, Robert Vaughn J The Big Dipper, Kiefer Jones Bistango Martini Lounge, Son of Brad Black Diamond, The Diamond DJ Bolo’s, FM Brooklyn Deli & Lounge, Pink Tango Buckhorn Inn, The Spokane River Band, Alisa K Music

58 INLANDER SEPTEMBER 3, 2015

METAL F--- THE FACTS

C

anadian grindcore zealots F--- the Facts might swap band members nearly as often as one of their ornate tunes changes time signatures, but that hasn’t kept the (now) quintet from becoming one of the more respected crews among experimental metal fans over the course of nearly two decades. Topon Das, guitarist and founding member, trades a bloodcurdling series of screams, grunts and howls with fellow vocalist Mel Mongeon, giving the Ottawa crew a boy-girl dynamic out front that helps them stand out in their noisy crowd.

The band’s new Desire Will Rot album is the first released on their own label and 10th overall, and songs like the rapid-fire thrash of “Storm of Silence” and the (relatively) prog-rocking “Solitude” showcase a band with serious instrumental chops.

As you mosh and bang your head at next week’s show, don’t forget to look up once in a while to see those chops on display.

— DAN NAILEN F--- the Facts with Cold Blooded, the Vatican and Rot Monger • Wed, Sept. 9, at 7:30 pm • $8 • All-ages • Pinnacle Northwest • 412 W. Sprague • thepinevents.com • 368-4077

J Bucer’s coffeehouse pub, Vern Sielert Quartet The Cellar, New Mud Coeur d’Alene Casino, Donnie Emerson & Nancy Sophia Duo, Shiner Conkling Marina & Resort, Tell the Boys Crave, Stoney Hawk Curley’s, Tracer Eagle’s Lodge (489-3030), Bobby Bremer Band Fedora Pub & Grille, Kicho The Flame, DJ WesOne Ladies Night Gem State Club (208-245-9916), JamShack Gorge Amphitheater, Dave Matthews Band, Edward Sharpe and The Magnetic Zeros, Gregory Alan Isakov Jones Radiator, Fun Ladies, the Smokes, Mirror Mirror, Video Destroyer LeftBank Wine Bar, Carey Brazil,

Nick Schauer & Rachael Marketplace Winery, Truck Mills Max at Mirabeau, Mojo Box Northern Quest Casino, DJ Ramsin J nYne, Folkinception, Pine League Pend d’Oreille Winery, Justin Lantrip Pend Oreille Playhouse, Open Mic Pinnacle Northwest, Helldorado, Toy Called God and more Republic Brewing Co., Whiskey River The Ridler Piano Bar, Dueling Pianos feat. Christan Raxter & Steve Ridler J Riverfront Park, Pig Out in the Park feat. Folkinception, Laffin’ Bones, Bakin’ Phat, Clumsy Lovers, Junior Brown, The Olson Bros., Duke Evers (See story on page 57) and more Swaxx, Willie Taylor, DJ Freaky Fred

Tinman Gallery (325-1500), Front Porch Trio The Viking Bar & Grill, Sovereign Citizen, Gator Loops, hiphop, Mind’s Decay, Banish the Echo Zola, Dirty Rice

Saturday, 09/05

J The Bartlett, The Maldives, Sera Cahoone Beverly’s, Robert Vaughn J the Big Dipper, Children of Atom demo release, Amnija, North Fork, 37 Street Signs, Project X Black Diamond, The Diamond DJ Bolo’s, FM J Bucer’s coffeehouse pub, Atlas The Cellar, New Mud J Chaps, Just Plain Darin Checkerboard Bar, American Wrecking Company, Machinage Coeur d’Alene Casino, Donnie Em-

erson & Nancy Sophia Duo, Shiner Coeur d’Alene Cellars, Vinyl Instinct Conkling Marina & Resort, Tell the Boys Crave, Stoney Hawk Curley’s, Tracer Cutter Theatre (446-4108), Scotia Road CD Release and Benefit concert J Downtown Sandpoint, Sandpoint Summer Sounds feat. Triolet Eagle’s Lodge, Bobby Bremer Band Eagles Hall-St. Maries (208-2453417), JamShack The Flame, DJ Big Mike, DJ WesOne Gorge Amphitheater, Dave Matthews Band Harrison, Harrison Summer Concerts feat. Ray Roberson Hills’ Restaurant & Lounge (7473946), Front Porch Trio Jones Radiator, Why Did Johnny

Kill, Mercy Brown LEFTBANK WINE BAR, Karrie O’Neill MAX AT MIRABEAU, Mojo Box NORTHERN QUEST CASINO, DJ Ramsin  NYNE, Whitney Monge (See story on page 57), DJ C-Mad PEND D’OREILLE WINERY, The Powell Brothers

GET LISTED!

Submit events online at Inlander.com/getlisted or email relevant details to getlisted@inlander.com. We need the details one week prior to our publication date.

 PINNACLE NORTHWEST, Fire Fest ’15 Benefit Event feat. Dysfunktynal KAOS, NoGunaso, Armed and Dangerous and more THE RIDLER PIANO BAR, Dueling Pianos feat. Christan Raxter & Steve Ridler  RIVERFRONT PARK, Pig Out in the Park. feat. Big Brother & the Holding Co., Nixon Rodeo, Kenny James Miller Band, Miss B. Havers, Soul Proprietor and more  THE SHOP, Candlelight Collective TAMARACK PUBLIC HOUSE, Chris Rieser & the Nerve  TWO RIVERS CASINO AND RESORT (722-4000), Garrett Bartley Band THE VIKING BAR & GRILL, Micah ZOLA, Dirty Rice

Sunday, 09/06

238 BREWING (238-2739), Just Plain Darin ARBOR CREST WINE CELLARS, High Street Band BIG BARN BREWING CO. (710-2961), Kirk Schmick CARLIN BAY RESORT (208- 6893295), Dragonfly COEUR D’ALENE CASINO, Kosh, Shiner CONKLING MARINA & RESORT, Tell the Boys CRAFTED TAP HOUSE + KITCHEN, Echo Elysim CURLEY’S, Slow Burn DALEY’S CHEAP SHOTS, Jam Night with VooDoo Church GEM STATE CLUB, JamShack GORGE AMPHITHEATER, Dave Matthews Band IRON HORSE BAR & GRILL, Jody Piper  RIVERFRONT PARK, Pig Out in the Park feat. Peter Rivera, B Radicals, Whitney Monge (See story on page 57), Flying Spiders, Dirty Rice and more ZOLA, Soulful Max Trio

Monday, 09/07

 CALYPSOS COFFEE & CREAMERY, Open Mic EICHARDT’S, Monday Night Jam with Truck Mills  JONES RADIATOR, Fea, the Smokes, the Blowouts LEFTBANK WINE BAR, Monday Night Spotlight feat. Carey Brazil

 RIVERFRONT PARK, Pig Out in the Park feat. DBC Band, Echo Elysium, Trailer Park Girls and more ZOLA, Nate Ostrander Trio

Tuesday, 09/08

315 MARTINIS & TAPAS, The Rub  THE BARTLETT, Radiation City, Holiday Friends  BING CROSBY THEATER, Jackie Green Band (See story on facing page) BROOKLYN DELI & LOUNGE, Open Mic FEDORA PUB & GRILLE, Tuesday Night Jam with Truck Mills JOHN’S ALLEY, The Sweet Lillies JONES RADIATOR, Open Mic of Open-ness KELLY’S IRISH PUB, Arvid Lundin & Deep Roots SWAXX, T.A.S.T.Y with DJs Freaky Fred, Beauflexx ZOLA, The Bucket List

Wednesday, 09/09 BARRISTER WINERY, Sammy Eubanks  BING CROSBY THEATER, Eric Bibb EICHARDT’S, Charley Packard GENO’S TRADITIONAL FOOD & ALES (368-9087), Open Mic with T & T LA ROSA CLUB, Robert Beadling and Friends LITZ’S BAR & GRILL (327-7092), Nick Grow LUCKY’S IRISH PUB, DJ D3VIN3 NYNE, Open Mic  PINNACLE NORTHWEST, F--- the Facts (See story on facing page), Cold Blooded, the Vatican, Rot

Monger THE RIDLER PIANO BAR, Jam with Steve Ridler SOULFUL SOUPS & SPIRITS, Open mic with Son of Brad ZOLA, The Bossame

Coming Up ...

THE BIG DIPPER, Ben PresLee Klein Review Elvis and Friends, Sept. 10 NASHVILLE NORTH, Colt Ford, Sept.

10 CHATEAU RIVE, Bryan White, Christy Lee, Sept. 10  THE BARTLETT, Richard Lloyd (from Television) (See story on page 55), Sept. 10 SOUTH PERRY PIZZA, Perry Street Shakedown feat. Sir Mix-A-Lot, Five Alarm Funk, The Lil’ Smokies, Bandit Train, Mama Doll and more, Sept. 11-13 NORTHERN QUEST CASINO, Yes and Toto, Sept. 11 BING CROSBY THEATER, Iris DeMent, Sept. 11 SPOKANE ARENA, Shania Twain, Sept. 12 SPOKANE ARENA, Five Finger Death Punch, Papa Roach, In This Moment, From Ashes to New, Sept. 13 THE BIG DIPPER, Mike Krol, Loomer, Whiskey Dick Mountain, Sept. 13 NORTHERN QUEST CASINO, Weird Al Yankovic, Sept. 13 THE BARTLETT, Noah Gunderson, Ivan & Alyosha, Sept. 13 KNITTING FACTORY, John Hiatt & the Combo, Gatorloops, Sept. 14

MUSIC | VENUES 315 MARTINIS & TAPAS • 315 E. Wallace, CdA • 208-667-9660 ARBOR CREST • 4705 N. Fruit Hill Rd. • 927-9463 BABY BAR • 827 W. First Ave. • 847-1234 THE BARTLETT • 228 W. Sprague Ave. • 747-2174 BIG BARN BREWING • 16004 N. Applewood Ln, Mead • 238-2489 THE BIG DIPPER • 171 S. Washington St. • 863-8098 BIGFOOT PUB • 9115 N. Division St. • 467-9638 BING CROSBY THEATER • 901 W. Sprague Ave. • 227-7638 BLACK DIAMOND • 9614 E. Sprague • 891-8357 BOLO’S• 116 S. Best Rd. • 891-8995 BOOMERS • 18219 E. Appleway Ave. • 755-7486 BOOTS BAKERY & LOUNGE • 24 W. Main Ave. • 703-7223 BROOKLYN DELI • 122 S Monroe St # 101• 835-4177 BUCER’S COFFEEHOUSE PUB • 201 S. Main, Moscow • 208-882-5216 BUCKHORN INN • 13311 Sunset Hwy.• 244-3991 THE CELLAR • 317 E. Sherman, CdA • 208-6649463 CALYPSOS • 116 E Lakeside Ave., CdA • 208665-0591 CHAPS • 4237 Cheney-Spokane Rd. • 624-4182 CHATEAU RIVE • 621 W. Mallon Ave. • 795-2030 CHECKERBOARD BAR • 1716 E. Sprague • 535-4007 COEUR D’ALENE CASINO • 37914 S. Nukwalqw Rd., Worley • 800-523-2464 CONKLING MARINA & RESORT • 20 W Jerry Ln, Worley • 208-686-1151 CRAFTED TAP HOUSE • 523 Sherman Ave., CdA • 208-292-4813 CRAVE• 401 W. Riverside Suite 101. • 321-7480 CRUISERS • 6105 W Seltice Way, Post Falls • (208) 773-4706 CURLEY’S • 26433 W. Hwy. 53 • 208-773-5816 DALEY’S • 6412 E. Trent • 535-9309 EICHARDT’S • 212 Cedar St., Sandpoint • 208263-4005 FEDORA PUB • 1726 W. Kathleen, CdA • 208765-8888 FIZZIE MULLIGANS • 331 W. Hastings Rd. • 466-5354 THE FLAME • 2401 E. Sprague Ave. • 534-9121 THE FOXHOLE• 829 E. Boone • 315-5327 FOX THEATER • 1001 W. Sprague • 624-1200 GRANDE RONDE CELLARS • 906 W. 2nd • 455-8161 HANDLEBARS • 12005 E. Trent, Spokane Valley • 309-3715 HOGFISH • 1920 E. Sherman, CdA • 208-667-1896 IRON HORSE • 407 E. Sherman Ave., CdA • 208-667-7314 THE JACKSON ST. • 2436 N. Astor • 315-8497 JOHN’S ALLEY • 114 E. 6th, Moscow • 208-8837662 JONES RADIATOR • 120 E. Sprague • 747-6005 KNITTING FACTORY • 911 W. Sprague Ave. • 244-3279 LAGUNA CAFÉ • 4302 S. Regal St. • 448-0887 THE LANTERN TAP HOUSE • 1004 S. Perry St. • 315-9531 THE LARIAT • 11820 N Market St, Mead • 4669918 LA ROSA CLUB • 105 S. First Ave., Sandpoint • 208-255-2100 LEFTBANK WINE BAR • 108 N. Washington • 315-8623 LUCKY’S IRISH PUB • 408 W. Sprague Ave. • 747-2605 MAX AT MIRABEAU • 1100 N. Sullivan Rd. • 924-9000 MOOTSY’S • 406 W. Sprague • 838-1570 NASHVILLE NORTH • 6361 W. Seltice Way, Post Falls • 208-457-9128 NECTAR• 120 N. Stevens St. • 869-1572 NORTHERN QUEST • 100 N. Hayford • 242-7000 NYNE • 232 W. Sprague Ave. • 474-1621 THE SHOP • 924 S. Perry St. • 534-1647 O’SHAY’S • 313 E. CdA Lake Dr. • 208-667-4666 PEND D’OREILLE WINERY • 301 Cedar St., Sandpoint • 208-265-8545 PINNACLE NORTHWEST • 412 W. Sprague • 368-4077 RED LION RIVER INN • 700 N. Division St. • 326-5577 RED ROOM LOUNGE • 521 W. Sprague Ave. • 838-7613 REPUBLIC BREWING • 26 Clark Ave. • 775-2700 THE RIDLER PIANO BAR • 718 W. Riverside . • 822-7938 THE ROADHOUSE • 20 N. Raymond • 413-1894 ROCKET MARKET • 726 E. 43rd Ave. • 343-2253 SEASONS OF COEUR D’ALENE • 209 E. Lakeside Ave. • 208-664-8008 THE SHOP • 924 S. Perry St. • 534-1647 SOULFUL SOUPS & SPIRITS • 117 N. Howard St. • 459-1190 SPOKANE ARENA • 720 W. Mallon • 279-7000 SULLIVAN SCOREBOARD • 205 N Sullivan Rd • 891-0880 SWAXX • 23 E. Lincoln Rd. • 703-7474 TAMARACK • 912 W Sprague • 315-4846 UNDERGROUND 15 • 15 S. Howard St. • 290-2122 THE VIKING • 1221 N. Stevens St. • 315-4547 ZOLA • 22 W. Main Ave. • 624-2416

SEPTEMBER 3, 2015 INLANDER 59

“Two Spokane Bridges” by David Wang

VISUAL ARTS FALL IS COMING

As we get ready to kick off a three-day weekend (and, sadly, the unofficial end of summer), we’ve all begun to notice the waning daylight and cooler evenings. Don’t let a last chance pass you by to stroll the streets and view new displays as part of this month’s First Friday. This month, the Kolva-Sullivan Gallery hosts widely recognized Montana artist Doug Turman, after a mostly quiet summer for the gallery. Nearby, the Trackside gallery hosts two highly experienced ceramicists from the Pacific Northwest. Across town, the Liberty Building (203 N. Washington) comes alive, with live music and the work of seven local artists on display across multiple levels. Of course, there’s much more to see and hear beyond these highlights.

— CHEY SCOTT First Friday • Fri, Sept. 4, from 5-8 pm • Free • Downtown Spokane and beyond • Full event details at Inlander.com/ FirstFriday

WORDS THRILLS & CHILLS

New York Times bestselling author J.A. Jance stops in Spokane next week to present her latest novel, Dance of the Bones, at the Bing Crosby Theater. In this novel, two of Jance’s most well-known characters, J.P. Beaumont and Brandon Walker, team up for the first time, resulting in what is said to be her most suspenseful story.

The retired sheriff and homicide detective come together after discovering a link between two separate cases, creating a story that will keep longtime fans of this celebrated author on the edge of their seats. Following her reading, Jance will sign copies in the lobby of the theater.

— ERIN ROBINSON J.A. Jance reading • Thu, Sept. 10, at 7 pm; doors open at 6 pm • Suggested $3 donation • Bing Crosby Theater • 901 W. Sprague • auntiesbooks.com • 838-0206

60 INLANDER SEPTEMBER 3, 2015

FESTIVAL GET YOUR LUMBERJACK ON

During Labor Day weekend, this friendly small town we recently reported was full of big hearts in our Small Towns feature throws a huge party with a carnival, music, tug-of-war and more. It’s all themed around Paul Bunyan, the giant lumberjack from American folklore, and is appropriately called Paul Bunyan Days. There’s a lot going on. Day 1: carnival opens, a pet and doll parade and karaoke. Day 2: fun run/walk, junior olympics and tug-of-war. Day 3: a community breakfast, a quilt show and an auction. Day 4: the big parade and competitive logging-themed events. All weekend, enjoy live music, shopping, helicopter rides, the carnival and food booths. The only thing missing is the celebrated fireworks show, canceled due to high fire danger.

— MATTHEW SALZANO Paul Bunyan Days • Fri, Sept. 4 through Mon, Sept. 7, events all day • St. Maries, Idaho • Facebook: stmariesidahoPBD • 208-2451870

WWW.SPOKANEFESTIVALOFHOMES.COM

CLASSICAL 30 YEARS IN THE PARK

Since 1985, the Spokane Symphony Orchestra’s members have packed up their instruments and headed to Comstock Park on Spokane’s South Hill for one night to fill the evening air with delightful classic notes. The celebrated end-of-summer tradition serves as a send-off to summer and the welcoming of yet another spectacular season of concerts by the Symphony, which begins with the first Classics Series program two weekends out. Fifteen years after the debut of the Labor Day concert in Spokane, the Symphony added the show in Liberty Lake. With a special effort to make the program accessible and exciting for younger listeners, listen for cinematic scores by John Williams, and from Broadway, as well as some of the most recognizable composers of all time: Tchaikovsky, Brahms and Vivaldi.

— CHEY SCOTT Spokane Symphony Labor Day Concerts in the Park • Sat, Sept. 5, at 6 pm • Pavillion Park, Liberty Lake • Also Mon, Sept. 7, at 6 pm • Comstock Park, Spokane • Free • spokanesymphony.org

SEPTEMBER 25-27 & OCTOBER 2-4 HOURS: 10:00 AM-5:00 PM

FESTIVAL BEER, TUNES, ELEVATION

If last weekend’s dreary weather wasn’t reminder enough that summer in the Inland Northwest is not permanent, perhaps a more official closing of summer will do the trick. The annual Fall Fest at Schweitzer Mountain Resort caps off the season with a brewery festival featuring more than 60 beers (as well as wine and cider), live music and plenty of outdoor activities for the Labor Day weekend. While the bulk of the activity (including stuff for the kids) takes place in the village, the chairlifts are open at a discounted rate for biking and sightseeing.

— MIKE BOOKEY Schweitzer Fall Fest • Sat, Sept. 5 through Mon, Sept. 7, beginning at 11 am • Free live music; beer tasting packages start at $10 • Schweitzer Mountain Resort • schweitzer.com

EVENTS | CALENDAR

THE LARGEST NEW CONSTRUCTION SHOW IN THE INLAND NORTHWEST

STAND-UP OPEN MIC Local comedians; see weekly schedule online.

Thursdays at 8 pm. Free. Uncle D’s Comedy Underground, 2721 N. Market St. bluznews.com (483-7300) I SAW YOU Blue Door Theater players use backpage newspaper ads and classifieds for improv inspiration. Bring your own clipped ads to the show. Fridays in Sept. at 8 pm. $7. Blue Door Theatre, 815 W. Garland. bluedoortheatre.com (747-7045)

PRESENTED BY

COMEDY

SIGNATURE SPONSOR

ROCK’N & WALK’N HAUSER Bring your dog and friends for a walk around the lake, ending in the park for live music, food, raffles and a pet adoption fair. Also includes the Madd Martha’s “Ugliest Dog Contest” ($10). Sep. 12, 9 am-3 pm. $10. Hauser, Idaho. doublejdogranch.org (208-457-8600) COBRA POLO CLASSIC Annual fundraiser event with gourmet food, local wine, beer, and cocktails, paired with a silent auction, beautiful hats, a cigar and whiskey tent, and a great game of polo. All proceeds support Ronald McDonald House Charities of Spokane.

Sep. 13, 12-4 pm. Spokane Polo Club, 7500 W Hwy. 2. rmhcspokane.org C.O.P.S. WEST FALL FUNDRAISER A silent auction and community gather-

ing, featuring live music by Charlie Butts & the Filter Tips. Sep. 15, 6-8:30 pm. The Nest at Kendall Yards, 1335 Summit Parkway. facebook.com/kendallyards/events

PARTNER SPONSORS

BENEFIT

SEPTEMBER 3, 2015 INLANDER 61

W I SAW U YOU

RS RS

CHEERS JEERS

&

I SAW YOU BIG 5 / MOUTH GUARD You name is Larissa: me thinks? You were so kind and encouraging when I told you about roller derby, you tried to convince me to try on skates. I got my skates now, and I would like to get the girl. I am usually no good at this, but here I am making everything else I want happen, so here it is? Would you like to couples skate with me? Or perhaps we could watch whip it and drink coffee, either way would love to hear from you.

LIBRARY GODDESS I first met you at a punk show, couldn’t get you outta my head. Found out you work at the library, new interest in books. I know you love sushi and dogs and camping. You have seriously made my life a ton brighter.

You are the most beautiful person I know and I hope to get to know you even more intimately in the future. Chicago?

WOW, IT’S THAT WOMAN AGIAN First time was maybe two weeks ago 8/12 or so when I saw you on the corner of Washington and Boone about mid-day, and again, just now on Francis walking west. My God you’re so attractive. All things around me cease to exist for that briefest of moments. Your tan shin goes so beautifully with that long straight brown hair. I believe you had white ear buds in today 8/28 around 10am..

Dressed smartly in black with a red pack on one shoulder, and a determined walking pace that made sex appeal take second to you. WOW, Please call me Bob

when you email me because that’s my name, bobwayno@hotmail.com STURGIS RALLY I met you, husband and wife, in Rapid City during the Sturgis Rally. I was riding red/white with Idaho plate and staying with friends in their room. We talked about riding together and you gave me numbers (I think I gave you mine too?). My trip really went to the wayside, and somehow I lost your information. Please call or email me? thecnicvu@gmail.com HOTTIE WATERING YOUR YARD Me and two of my girlfreinds live by you. We were running late to school one evening and took A street. Seen you in your yard cutting your lawn in shorts and flip flops. You are hot. On are way back from the library you were out front again in shorts and tank top. All three of us were sitting drowling with are jaws dropped.

We have made it a point to drive by your house anytime we go anywhere.

We actually started arguing who should walk up to get your number. After weeks of driving by and fantasizing about how good your lips would taste we drove bye and seen a very beautiful and extremely fortunate woman who gave you a kiss.

Our hearts and jaws dropped. So now we all know we can only stare from the car as we drive by. All we ask: will you water your yard the rest of summer in just a pair of your sexy shorts. We still take the A street roundabout everyday. Ladies if you want to see a true sex symbol take the A street and Wellesley intersection.

If you read this man of my dreams, God made you perfect in so many ways.

Kisses! Stacey, Amanda, Katrina THAT BRO MOMENT IN TIME I sat there patiently waiting to turn off on to 29th from South Garfield St., in my big, lifted, sexy white crewcab f150. When suddenly I saw you approaching, you where in your very own big, lifted, blue mid 2000’s model f150. It was absolutely beautiful and just tearing down the road.

I leaned half way out of my window and gave you the biggest thumbs up I possible could, you then instantaneously esponded with a thumbs up right back at me. And I that very moment in time, our eyes met, time had stopped and we had ourselves moment, a definite broment.

VALLEY KOHL’S CRUSH Friday 8/21.

Spokane Valley Kohl’s around 1:30 in the home department. Me: Brunette with

frameless glasses, plain navy blue shirt, and jeans carrying clothes. You: young, dark haired, handsome employee wearing a light shirt and tie with black pants.

We made eye contact by the Yankee Candle display when you excused yourself for being in the pathway. I was smitten with you, coffee? kohlscrush@ gmail.com

“

When I pulled up to get my drink, the person at the window said the person ahead of me paid for my drink. The Starbucks employee said the driver of the Honda had seen me with my veteran’s cap in the sideview mirror. Whoever you are, I’ll always remember your act of kindness! A grateful vet.

CONCERT COMMON SENSE Jeers to the two men at the Huey Lewis and the News concert on Aug. 30. My girlfriend and I understand that you enjoy Eddie Money and that you paid good money to get in; but your constant swearing, bad attitude and standing up obstructing people’s views really made the concert unenjoyable. People were telling you to sit down

Whoever you are, I’ll always remember your act of kindness! A grateful vet.”

— Re: random act of kindness

BEAUTIFUL BLONDE I saw you in your sexy Porsche Cayenne, roaring down the road with a million-dollar smile and your aviator sunglasses. It made me happy just seeing you enjoy the experience.

Keep it up! I’m looking forward to seeing you again!

NO MO’ PEACHES FO’ ME! I am glad I got the Beauty of our time together, short as it was. We were volatile, passionate, young and wild in love... or something like it. But, your puppet master sees a threat, so no mo’ peaches fo’ ME! Good luck my Prince. I miss u already.

FABULOUS BOOTS AT BOOTS 8/23 To the gorgeous waitress with dreadlocks, tattoos and fringed boots at Boots Bakery on Aug. 23. I’m the dancer who came in for the film shoot. I would have liked to talk to you in person but by the time the shoot was over you had a long line of customers to take care of. Would it be presumptuous of me to ask if you’d like to see a show sometime, or perhaps a film at the Magic Lantern?

MY SHELTER A year ago, we married, bringing our family (and families) together — what a crazy bunch, huh?

We can’t know many things in this life — certainly not what tomorrow will bring — but we can choose to spend our days with lovely people, our tiny private islands in the vast, chaotic ocean. Thank you for keeping me anchored.

I SAW YOU

SHAME ON YOU! To the blond woman driving the white SUV with the bold scentsy distributorship ad covering your rear window... I was right behind you, pulling out of the Rosauers parking lot in Spokane Valley on Thursday morning, Aug 27, at 11am... SHAME ON YOU! Not only is throwing your garbage out your vehicle window (just as you were making your right turn onto University right off Sprague) a display of disgrace toward our clean community, you also reflect the same disgrace on scentsy (the company you apparently represent). When I honked my horn at you, rather than get out & pick your trash back up, you sped off! Shame on you!

RE: MADE YOUR DAY To the man in the white car: could you explain a little more so I know if it was me that made your day?

CHEERS THE KEY INGREDIENT A super generous man called Dan gave my man a ride to Rockford and back all cuz he had the can... Thanks Dan. from a new and thankful fan.

RE: RANDOM ACT OF KINDNESS Two weeks ago I was waiting in the drive thru at Starbucks on 2nd & Division. There was a white Honda SUV ahead of me.

SOUND OFF 1. Visit Inlander.com/isawyou by 3 pm Monday. 2. Pick a category (I Saw You, You Saw Me, Cheers or Jeers). 3.

Provide basic info: your name and email (so we know you’re real). 4. To connect via I Saw You, provide a non-identifying email to be included with your submission — like “petals327@yahoo.com,” not “j.smith@comcast.net.”

JEERS

”

so they could see and you continued to stand anyways, being a complete jerk.

We even heard you on your cell phone saying how bad the venue was and how you “may never come back again.”

Newsflash: I don’t think you’ll be missed after your performance last night. Before your next concert, wake up and realize it’s 2015 and that there’s something called “common courtesy,” when you’re at a concert.

COFFEE CATCH 22 To coffeeshops by the bus plaza block: If you are out of your drip coffee, and it will take you three minutes to brew a fresh cup for another drink, please inform your customers BEFORE you take their money. If you ring us up and then tell us, we may have to decide whether we’re going to miss our bus or run out having paid for a beverage that we are unable to receive. 

THIS WEEK'S ANSWERS

NOTE: I Saw You/Cheers & Jeers is for adults 18 or older. The Inlander reserves the right to edit or reject any posting at any time at its sole discretion and assumes no responsibility for the content.

It’s good to be seen.

#wtbevents 62 INLANDER SEPTEMBER 3, 2015

EVENTS | CALENDAR IMPROV LAB The Blue Door players try out new material on stage, monthly on the first Friday, at 10 pm. Not rated. $7.

Blue Door Theatre, 815 W. Garland Ave. bluedoortheatre.com (747-7045) NUTHOUSE IMPROV COMEDY WSU’s student comedy improv group performs. Upcoming shows: Sept. 4, Sept.

11, Sept. 18, Oct. 16, Oct. 23, Oct. 30, Nov. 6 (Jones Theatre), Nov. 14 and Dec. 12 (11 pm). All shows begin at 8 pm. $5.

Wadleigh Theatre at Daggy Hall, College Ave. performingarts.wsu.edu STAND-UP COMEDY Live comedy featuring established and up-and-coming local comedians. Fridays at 8 pm. No cover. Red Dragon Chinese, 1406 W. Third Ave. (838-6688) SAFARI Fast-paced short-form improv games based on audience suggestions.

(Not rated.) Saturdays at 9 pm. $7. Blue Door Theatre, 815 W. Garland Ave. bluedoortheatre.com (747-7045) SCHOOL OF IMPROVISED COMEDY Teen classes ($25) are offered the first Saturday of the month, from 11:30 am-2 pm. Ages 11-18. Adult classes ($125) available throughout the year; see site for more info. Blue Door Theatre, 815 W. Garland Ave. bluedoortheatre.com IMPROV JAM SESSIONS Blue Door Theatre players lead sessions on improv comedy performance, every first and third Monday of the month, from 7-9 pm. (Sept. 7, 21; Oct. 5, 19, Nov. 2, 16). $5/session or $25/all eight. Ages 18+.

Blue Door Theatre, 815 W. Garland Ave. bluedoortheatre.com (747-7045) STAND-UP OPEN MIC Mondays; signup at 9:30 pm, show at 10 pm. Ages 21+.

No cover. The Foxhole, 829 E. Boone. facebook.com/thefoxholespokane KEVIN HART’S ‘WHAT NOW?’ TOUR The acclaimed actor and comedian performs a live standup show. Sep. 9, 7 pm. $110. McCarthey Athletic Center, 801 N Cincinnati. (313-6000) PETER COMEDY TOUR The West Coast comedy tour of PETER includes an improv workshop (Sept. 10, 7-9:30 pm) and two shows (Sept. 11, at 10 pm and Sept. 12, at 7 pm) at the Blue Door Theatre. Shows not rated. $5-$10. Blue Door Theatre, 815 W. Garland. (747-7045) LAST COMIC STANDING LIVE Finalists of the ninth season, which premiered in July, of the popular NBC comedy competition perform live. Sep. 11, 8 pm. $27.50-$45. Martin Woldson Theater at The Fox, 1001 W. Sprague. foxtheaterspokane.com (624-1200)

COMMUNITY

DOGGIE DIP The City of Spokane Parks and Rec teams up with SpokAnimal to give the last swim of the season to the dogs, while raising funds and awareness for the Highbridge Dog Park. Owners must present proof of vaccination; dogs must be well-mannered and at least 6 months old. Sep. 3, 5-7 pm. $10. Liberty Park, 502 S. Pittsburg St. spokaneparks.org PAINT & PINTS OPEN HOUSE The new paint & drink studio is open to the public, and offers opening specials on drinks and classes to those who attend. Sep. 4, 6-8:30 pm. Free. Paint & Pints, 718 W. Riverside. paintandpintsspokane.com TWIN EAGLES 10 YEAR CELEBRATION A community event sponsored by the elder council of Twin Eagles Wilderness School to celebrate ten years of deep nature connection mentoring and the joy of community. Events include music,

skill sharing, storytelling, nature activities, camping and more. Sept. 5-7; with main event on Monday. At the Medicine Circle Eco-Retreat in Priest River, Idaho.

Free and open to the public. medicinecircle@gmail.com (208-448-1305) UNDER THE FREEWAY FLEA MARKET The three-day, Labor Day weekend flea market offers finds of all kinds from vendors around the region. Sept. 5-7.

Downtown Wallace, n/a. (208-753-7151) WEDNESDAY NIGHT CONTRA DANCE Spokane Folklore Society’s weekly Wednesday night community dance.

No experience needed, everyone is welcome. Includes a beginner workshop at 7:15 pm. Sep. 9, 7:30-9:30 pm. $5-$7.

Woman’s Club of Spokane, 1428 W. Ninth. spokanefolklore.org (747-2640) NETWORKS FOR LIFE: YOUR ROLE IN SUICIDE PREVENTION Join Spark on World Suicide Prevention Day to create a safe space to discuss stress, depression, coping skills, warning signs for suicide, and how to intervene when you are concerned about someone. Teen session from 6-7 pm, adult session from 7:30-8:30 pm. Sep. 10, 6-8:30 pm. Free.

Spark Center, 1214 W. Summit Parkway. sparkwestcentral.org FALLEN HERO DEDICATION CEREMONY Attend the dedication of the fifth circuit course station to honor and remember the community’s fallen military heroes. Sep. 11, 5:30-6:30 pm. Liberty Lake. llfhcc.org (755-6700) SPOKANE COMPASSION GAMES OPENING CEREMONY The Compassion Games, held Sept. 11-21, begin with a lively and inspiring event featuring compelling stories of compassion, live music, interfaith prayers and group participation. Resource fair with volunteer opportunities following the ceremony.

Free; bring food donations for NW Harvest. Sep. 11, 7-9 pm. All Saints Lutheran Church, 314 S. Spruce St. (536-2811) COMMUNITY BARBECUE Free barbecue including hamburgers, hot dogs, chips and salad. Also includes face painting, pinatas, and a fire truck for the kids. Sep. 12, 10 am-2 pm. Free. Christ Central Church, 19 W. Shannon. cbcspokane.org (327-9322) SCRAPS WALK IN THE PARK SCRAPS’ annual community dog walk and “pawty” raises money for its Animal Medical Program, to provide surgery and needed medical care to homeless and and neglected animals. Entry by donation.

Sep. 12, 10 am-noon. Prairie View Park, East 61st Ave. scrapshopefoundation. org (477-4730)

FESTIVAL

GREEN BLUFF PEACH FESTIVAL Head up to Green Bluff for fresh-picked peaches, peach ice cream, cobbler, and pies. Peaches fest runs Aug. 15 through Labor Day weekend. See individual orchard/grower schedules for hours and details. greenbluffgrowers.com AFFAIR ON MAIN STREET The annual community celebration features live entertainment, the living history festival at the Cutter Theatre, vendor and food booths, a pancake breakfast and more.

Sept. 5-6. Metaline Falls, n/a. facebook. com/affaironmainstreet COASTER CLASSIC CAR SHOW Classic cars from across the Northwest converge on Silverwood for the 13th annual car show, offering prizes for 1-3 place in multiple categories. Sept. 5-6.

7

Park admission applies. Silverwood Theme Park, 27843 U.S. 95. silverwoodthemepark.com (208-683-3400 x 4314) FUNKY JUNK ANTIQUE SHOW The 15th annual antiques and craft show moves to a new location this year, offering vintage/salvaged/handmade and antique goods for sale. Sept. 5-6, from 10 am-4 pm both days. $5/admission, good both days. Kids under 12 free.

Bonner County Fairgrounds, 4203 N. Boyer Ave. funkyjunkantiqueshow.com (208-946-8500) PAUL BUNYAN DAYS St. Maries’ annual, Labor Day weekend festival features traditional logging competitions, water events, carnival rides, food/craft vendors, live music, a fireworks show and more. Sept. 5-7. St. Maries, Idaho.

SCHWEITZER FALL FEST Schweitzer’s annual Labor Day weekend event turns 23, and offers live music and more than 60 varieties of regional wine/beer/ cider. Also includes arts and craft vendors, kids activities and more. Sept. 5-7.

Schweitzer Mountain Resort, Sandpoint. schweitzer.com (208-255-3081) LABOR DAY ON THE GRASS Annual community car show and shine, with live music, a beer garden and more. Sep. 6. Free admission. Spirit Lake, Idaho. spiritlakechamber.com INLAND NORTHWEST PERMACULTURE CONVERGENCE This year’s event is themed “Permaculture’s answers to drought,” and focuses on conservation of resources through water harvesting, wicking beds, deep rooted perennials, swales, broad-based terraces, mulch, sunken hugelkulturs, drought tolerant crops, and more. Sept. 10-13. $70 suggested donation for the event or $30/ single days. Heartsong, 7034 W. Highway 291, Tumtum, Wash. inlandnorthwestpermaculture.com (406-741-5809) NATIVE FALL FESTIVAL Featuring traditional Native American song and dance, youth activities, artists, arts and crafts vendors, live music, food and more. Family friendly; all are welcome. Sep. 12, 10 am-3 pm. Free. American Indian Community Center, 610 E. North Foothills Dr. on.fb.me/1hohRh5 (535-0886) SALSA FIESTA A family event with live music by the Sara Brown Band, dancing, a salsa tasting bar, gourmet spicy foods, arts & crafts, and organic wine tasting.

Sep. 12, 12-5 pm. $5. China Bend Winery, 3751 Vineyard Way. chinabend.com (509-732-6123)

FILM

MOVIES IN THE PARK: RETURN OF THE JEDI Screening of the Star Wars classic at dusk. Sept. 4. Pavillion Park, 727 N. Molter Rd., Liberty Lake. pavillionpark.org (755-6726) CHINESE MOVIE NIGHT: A BEAUTIFUL LIFE A beautiful real-estate agent gets drunk at a karaoke bar and throws up on a principled, lonely cop. Zhendong quickly falls for the flirtatious Peiru despite the fact that she’s having a tortuous affair with a married man. Sep. 9, 7-10 pm. Free . The Kenworthy, 508 S. Main St. kenworthy.org TRAINWRECK Comedy starring comedian Amy Schumer. Sept. 10-13, show times vary. $6. The Kenworthy, 508 S. Main St. kenworthy.org (208-882-4127) Z NATION SEASON 2 PREMEIRE The Spokane Film Project hosts the season 2 premier of the Spokane-filmed SyFy series Z Nation. Come dressed as a zombie

and Z Nation producers will pick their favorite. Proceeds benefit KYRS. Sep. 11, 8 pm. $10. Garland Theater, 924 W. Garland Ave. on.fb.me/1hc2LLn (327-1050)

FOOD & DRINK

PIG OUT IN THE PARK The 36th annual festival of food offers six days of fair and truck-food vendors, live entertainment, beer gardens and more. Sept. 2-7, 11 am-10 pm daily. Riverfront Park, 705 N. Howard St. spokanepigout.com SUNSET DINNER CRUISE Cruises depart from Independence Point Dock daily, through Sept. 13, at 7:30 pm. Buffet menu offers round of beef, baked king salmon, au gratin potatoes, summer salad, fruit, rolls and cheesecake. $28$52. Coeur d’Alene Resort, 115 S. Second. cdacruises.com (208-765-4000) VINO WINE TASTING Friday, Sept. 4 tasting highlights selections from Vino’s Wine of the Month Club. Sat, Sept. 5 tasting showcases classic French Wines.

Tastings include cheese and crackers.

Vino! A Wine Shop, 222 S. Washington St. vinowine.com (838-1229) CHEW ON THIS! - GOOD TASTING SEEDS Bill McDorman from the Rocky Mountain Seed Alliance presents different practical scenarios for re-engaging with the ancient tradition of seed saving to support our local farmers and our tastebuds. Program includes a light supper. Sponsored by the Inland NW Food Network. Sep. 8, 5:30-7:30 pm. $5-$8.

Pilgrim’s Natural Market, 1316 N. Fourth St., CdA inwfoodnetwork.org COOKING CLASS WITH CHEF JEFF CHATIGNY The JACC hosts a cooking class with Chef Jeff Chatigny of Timber Gastro Pub. Sep. 9, 5:30-8:30 pm. $51/ person. Jacklin Arts & Cultural Center, 405 N. William St. thejacklincenter.org GIRLS PINT OUT SPOKANE MEETUP The Inland Northwest chapter of the national craft beer organization for women meets on the second Wednesday of the month, from 6:30-8:30 pm. Free to attend. Free. The Backyard Public House, 1811 W. Broadway. girlsbeerblog.com PICKLING SUMMER VEGETABLES Local food safety/preservation specialist Anna Kestell teaches how to safely pickle and preserve your summer vegetables. Pre-registration required; class limited to 20 participants. Sep. 9, 6:307:30 pm. Free. Cheney Library, 610 First St. (509-893-8280) MONROE ST. PUB CRAWL Great Shape Inc’s 8th annual crawl raises money to support education and health care for Jamaican families in need, and includes drinks, raffles, music, food and more.

Register online, and visit greatshapeinc. org for more info on the nonprofit. Sep. 12, 5 pm-1 am. $25. Charley’s Grill & Spirits, 801 N. Monroe St. ht.ly/Rgnc7 LIBERTY CIDERWORKS + SANTE DINNER A special collaborative dinner, featuring six course prepared by Chef Jeremy Hansen, paired with a cider from Spokane-based Liberty Ciderworks.

Liberty’s cidermakers also speak about their featured pours and cider-making process. Sep. 14, 6-9 pm. $75/person.

Santé Restaurant & Charcuterie, 404 W. Main. santespokane.com

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SEPTEMBER 3, 2015 INLANDER 63

RELATIONSHIPS

Advice Goddess WAit LiftinG

I’m a 37-year-old woman, and I’ve always been quick to have sex, but I’m trying to just “date” first. Well, I’ve been on five dates with this one guy, and all we’ve done is kiss. Now I’m beginning to think that he isn’t attracted to me or is put off by my past, which, unfortunately, I was honest about.

—Dismayed Try to think of this as artisanal dating. Maybe he’s finished building the bed out of antique Popsicle sticks but his carpal tunnel kicked in while he was killing the flock of ducks for the mattress or spinning the cotton for the sheets.

If that sounds like a stretch, well, it’s no more of one than your notion — that the guy’s gone out with you five times because he finds you repellant or stays up nights picturing your sexual past (complete with barricades and rent-a-cops for crowd control). Do you think he’s enrolled in some underground rewards program, like you go out with a woman six times and you get a complimentary latte or maybe an iTunes gift card?

Evolutionary psychologists David Buss and David Schmitt point out that “human mating is inherently strategic.” Genetically, they explain, it’s generally in a man’s best interest to pursue a “short-term sexual strategy.” (Scientific journals and tenure committees frown on terms like “hit it and quit it.”) Basically, a man can limit his participation in sex to the fun part and still pass on his genes. Women coevolved to expect men to try for this sort of limited participation (so your bewilderment at his crossed legs isn’t exactly surprising). But a man can come to a point where a “long-term sexual strategy” becomes wiser, and it’s generally when he’s serious about finding a partner and not just a sex partner for the evening.

Note that the guy keeps coming to pick you up, and not because he is an Uber driver or is being held at gunpoint by your mother. You could say something to him — maybe “Hey, I was really hoping you’d take me home one of these nights.” This may be the nudge he needs to make a move — or at least tell you what’s up. And sure, it is within the realm of possibility that he has ED, an STD, low sexual desire, or a seriously small penis and is waiting until you’re emotionally attached to break out the news. But it’s also possible that you aren’t the only woman he’s seeing and he’s trying to be adult about it, meaning that he’s learned that many women get emotionally attached after sex. Sleeping with two women is a good way to end up with a girlfriend — and one would-be girlfriend in the bushes with ricin-tipped blow darts or at least searching Yelp for the best-rated local assassins.

AMY ALKON

WutherinG fiGhtS

My friend says that you only find out who somebody truly is when you break up with them. He suggests that I pick a few fights with anybody I’m dating so I can see their true colors. Is this really a wise idea?

—Skeptical If you really want to see what a person’s made of, after goading them into a fight, you might do a lung capacity test, like by holding them down and trying to drown them in a bathtub.

Though it seems an obviously bad idea to pick petty arguments, your friend has a point — that you don’t find out who somebody really is when the most pressing question they’re asked is, “Do you need a few more minutes to look at the menu, monsieur?” What comes out in the early stages of dating is temperament more than character. In social psychology, temperament is basically what “flavor” a person is — introverted or extraverted, loud or quiet, happy or glum.

Character is values-driven behavior — meaning whether a person’s likely to do what’s right as opposed to what’s easiest. (Like if there’s a landslide, do they try to save you or just wave goodbye?)

Character is mostly revealed in two ways: over time and through stress. To speed up the character revelation timetable, do challenging activities together — the sort in which “party manners” are hard to maintain: Camp. Go on a highstakes scavenger hunt. Go on a juice fast. Go on a juice fast while camping. Who a person really is can’t help but come out when they’re in the middle of the woods with you, they haven’t eaten solid food in a week, and a hiker walks by with a bag of Doritos. (It’s the little things that count — like how they lovingly brush that telltale orange dust out of your hair before the cops come.) n ©2015, Amy Alkon, all rights reserved. • Got a problem? Write Amy Alkon, 171 Pier Ave, #280, Santa Monica, CA 90405 or email AdviceAmy@aol.com (www.advicegoddess.com)

64 INLANDER SEPTEMBER 3, 2015

EVENTS | CALENDAR

MUSIC

FRIDAY FAMILY DANCES The evening beings with a potluck, live music, easy dances and laughter. Lines, circles, contras, folk, and square dances are taught

by Susan Dankovich. Potluck at 6:30; dancing from 7-8pm. Sep. 4, 6:30-8 pm. Free-will donation. St. John Cathedral, 127 E. 12th. (533-9955) HEIDI KUBAN & FRIENDS: Concert with a dinner-theater option. Sept. 4-5. $10-$25. Circle Moon Theater, Hwy 211 off Hwy 2, Newport. northwoodsperformingarts.com (208-448-1294) SPOKANE SYMPHONY LABOR DAY IN THE PARKS The Symphony’s annual Labor Day Weekend concerts in the park are free to the community and includes a program of classical and popular favorites for all ages. Sep. 5, 6 pm.

Free. Pavillion Park, 727 N. Molter Rd. spokanesymphony.org (509-755-6726) CDA SYMPHONY LABOR DAY CONCERT IN THE PARK Bring a lawn chair and a picnic for this family event at the City Park Rotary Bandshell. Sep. 7, 1 pm.

Free. Coeur d’Alene City Park, 415 W. Mullan Rd. cdasymphony.org SPOKANE SYMPHONY LABOR DAY IN THE PARKS The Symphony’s annual Labor Day Weekend concerts in the park are free to the community and include a program of classical and popular favorites. Sep. 7, 6 pm. Free.

Comstock Park, 29th Ave. and Howard St. spokanesymphony.org JAZZ BENEFIT CONCERT An evening of Brazilian voice, jazz guitar, and virtuoso bass in a benefit concert for the Inland NW Food Network. Award winning musicians Max Hatt and Edda Glass will be accompanied by acclaimed jazz artist Clipper Anderson. Sep. 9, 7-10 pm. $25. The Cellar, 317 E. Sherman, CdA. inwfoodnetwork.org (503-307-4505) CELTIC RHYTHYM WITH FLOATING CROWBAR Spokane-based, multiinstrumentalists Don Thomsen and James Hunter join forces with guitarist Rick Rubin and fiddler Morgan Andersen to form the configuration known as Floating Crowbar. Sep. 10, 6:30-7 pm.

Free. Spokane Valley Library, 12004 E. Main. (509-893-8400) PIANIST IVANA COJBASIC A solo piano concert featuring the internationally recognized soloist and collaborative musician based in Spokane. Dr. Cojbasic currently teaches piano at Whitworth and to private students. She also collaborates with the Spokane Symphony and the Symphony Choral. Sep. 11, 7 pm. Free. Steinway Piano Gallery, 13418 E. Nora Ave. (327-4266) TALL PINE PARK MUSIC FESTIVAL An afternoon of music for all ages. Park located at Highway 291 and Villier Rd., at milepost 17 (just west of Lakeside Middle School in the Suncrest community.) Free parking; no Discover Pass required. Sep. 12, 1-4 pm. Free. Tall Pines Park, Highway 291 at milepost 17. lakespokaneparks.org/tall-pines-park.html

SPORTS & OUTDOORS

BIKE MAINTENANCE BASICS Routine bike maintenance keeps you riding smoothly and prolongs the life of your bike. Join us for this introductory class to help you take care of your bike. Sept.

3, 7-8:30 pm. Free. REI, 1125 N. Monroe. rei.com/spokane (328-9900)

SPOKANE INDIANS VS. EVERETT AQUASOX Three-game series, the last of the home season. Sept. 1-3, at 6:30 pm. Season finale fireworks show on Sept. 3. $5-$20. Avista Stadium, 602 N. Havana. spokaneindiansbaseball.com MT. SPOKANE TO SPIRIT LAKE RIDE The invitation-only bike ride takes riders 25 miles downhill from Mt. Spokane to Spirit Lake. Sep. 6. Mt. Spokane State Park, 26107 N. Mt. Spokane Park Dr. 3443club.com (208-263-5130) MAP & COMPASS NAVIGATION CLASS Learn basic navigation skills using map and compass to find your way during an in-store class that teaches the parts of a compass, how to read a topographic map and how to use them in tandem.

Sep. 10, 6:30-8:30 pm. $30-$50. REI, 1125 N. Monroe St. rei.com/spokane HIKE TO PYRAMID & BALL LAKES John Harbuck leads a family-friendly, 5-mile hike into Pyramid and Ball Lakes. Registration required. Sep. 11, 8 am-5 pm.

Free. Bonners Ferry, Idaho, North Idaho. idahoconservation.org (208-265-9565) DOVER BAY 5K-9 A 5k fun run/walk in Dover Bay for the entire family. Proceeds benefit the Panhandle Animal Shelter and the animals it serves. Sep. 12, 9 amnoon. $25/adults, $10/kids. Dover Bay Resort, 651 Lakeshore Ave. facebook. com/doverbay5k9 (208-946-0226) GLOW IN THE PARK The second annual nighttime glow run, a 5K through the park kicking off with a pre-party with games, dancing and an after party. Proceeds benefit the Boys and Girls Club of Spokane County. Sep. 12, 6 pm. $12$49. Riverfront Park, 705 N. Howard St. nsplit.com/glow-run-spokane HIGH STAKES: MAYWEATHER VS. BERTO Boxing superstars Floyd “Money” Mayweather (48-0, 26 KOs) and Andre Berto (30-3, 23 KOs) go headto-head on the big screen in what is expected to be the final fight of Mayweather’s illustrious 19-year career.

Sept. 12 at 5 pm. At Regal Cinemas Northtown and Riverstone (CdA). Sep. 12. $26.25. Regal Cinemas, 4750 N. Division. (509-482-0209) HIKE TO WEST FORK LAKE Join ICL’s Susan Dumheller on a 7-mile roundtrip, moderately difficult hike into West Fork Lake with the possibility of going up to West Fork Mountain. Registration required. Sep. 12, 8 am-5 pm. Free. Bonners Ferry, Idaho, North Idaho. idahoconservation.org (208-265-9565) MARCH FOR THE FALLEN Sign up for a 5K, 10K or 15K run, or the 15K march. The annual event honors all of Washington’s fallen military members, with all proceeds donated to local veterans groups.

Sep. 12, 8 am-4 pm. $30. Riverside State Park, Spokane. marchforthefallen.com NEWPORT BIAYAKATHON A fastpaced kayak and bike race along the Pend Oreille River. Sep. 12, 10 am-noon. $25. biaykathon.com (509-447-6417) NORTHWEST CORNHOLE CHAMPIONSHIP A competition hosted by Rock 103 FM and MickDuff’s, with a double elimination tournament format. Open to teams of 8, with a min. of 8 teams and a max of 32 teams. Ages 21+. Winner gets a cash prize, with other prizes awarded through the event. Sep. 12, noon. $50/team. MickDuff’s Brewing Company, 312 N. First, Sandpoint. on.fb. me/1hZnsLf (208-209-6700) SYSA QUICK RIP RUGBY A non-contact, flag version of rugby, straight from New Zealand, for boys and girls grades

9-12. Meets Saturdays from 4-6 pm, Sept. 12-Oct. 31. Free. Andrew Rypien Field, 3501 N. Regal St. sysaquickriprugby.com (536-1800) SYSA ROOKIE RUGBY Rookie Rugby is a new, non-contact version of rugby.

SYSA’s Rookie Rugby program is for boys and girls, grades 1-8. Meets Saturdays from 2-4 pm, Sept. 12-Oct. 31. $65.

Andrew Rypien Field, 3501 N. Regal St. sysarookierugby.com (536-1800)

THEATER

MOSCOW ART THEATRE (TOO): TIGERS BE STILL A comedy that follows the misadventures of Sherry Wickman, a young woman who has recently earned her masters degree in art therapy only to find herself moving back home with her family and waiting for the job offer that never comes. Through Sept. 6, Thu-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. $8-$12. The Kenworthy, 508 S. Main St. kenworthy.org (208-882-4127) TREAT YO’SELF An ice cream social and night of entertainment, featuring performances of vignettes from each of the six plays in our 70th season. Also includes a raffle/silent auction. Sep. 11, 7 pm. $5/person. Spokane Children’s Theatre, 2727 N. Madelia. spokanechildrenstheatre.org

VISUAL ARTS

2015 FINE ARTS FACULTY EXHIBITION This biennial exhibition is an opportunity for visitors and WSU students to see the Fine Arts Faculty’s skills and theories put to practice in a diverse array of styles and media. Through Sept.

26, opening reception Sept. 3, from 6-8 pm. Museum open Mon-Sat, 10 am-4 pm and Thu until 7 pm. Free and open to the public. Museum of Art/WSU, Wilson Road, Pullman. museum.wsu.edu MOSCOW FIRST THURSDAY The city of Moscow’s monthly community arts celebration, featuring art displays around the downtown area, live music and more. Monthly on the first Thursday, from 5-8 pm. See Facebook page for complete details. Downtown Moscow. facebook.com/moscowfirsthursday SANDPOINT ARTWALK 2015 The summertime arts tradition involves local businesses and galleries hosting art from the juried exhibition through Sept.

11. The public can view art during each business’s operating hours; each location listed on the event brochure with walking map. artsinsandpoint.org ARTS BUZZ A time to learn what arts and culture-related activities are in the works for the Cd’A area. Held on the first Friday of each month, at 9 am, in the chamber’s conference room. CdA Chamber of Commerce, 1031 N. Academic Way. artsincda.org (208-664-3194) FIRST FRIDAY Art galleries and businesses across Spokane host monthly receptions to showcase new displays of art. Receptions are held on the first Friday of the month, from 5-8 pm. For complete event details, the Inlander provides a comprehensive listing of all First Friday events at Inlander.com/ FirstFriday.

PENNY MCCURDY & JUDY JEFFREY The two regional artists display their work in a co-exhibition, Sept. 4-21. Reception Sept. 4, from 4-7 pm; gallery open Mon, Wed, Fri from 9 am-4 pm, also during events and by appointment.

Cutter Theatre, 302 Park St., Metaline

Falls. cuttertheatre.com (509-446-4108) LABOR DAY ARTIST MEET & GREET Entree Gallery hosts Priest Lake artist Tom Wakeley, Sept. 5, from 10 am-noon, and CdA artist Terry Lee on Sept. 6 from 10 am-4 pm. Each artist demonstrates his personal style of oil painting. Mike and Sadie Wagner also play live music on Sunday, 1-3 pm. Entree Gallery, 1755 Reeder Bay Rd., Priest Lake. entreegallery.com (208-443-2001)

WORDS

DAVID NEIWERT The author discusses and reads from his new book “Of Orcas and Men: What Killer Whales Can Teach Us,” and also signs copies of his work.

Enjoy light refreshments, with beer and wine available for purchase. All are welcome. Sep. 3, 6:30 pm. Free. BookPeople

of Moscow, 521 S. Main. (208-882-2669) REMEMBERING “THE RIVER REMEMBERS” Local writers and poets read their recently written pieces inspired by Kay O’Rourke’s “The River Remembers” on the Spark Center stage. The written works are the outcome of a writing workshop led

by Nance Van Winckel and reflect writers’ personal reflections, memories, or imagining of historical events. Sep. 3, 6-7:30 pm.

Free. Spark Center, 1214 W. Summit Pkwy. sparkwestcentral.org 3 MINUTE MIC Auntie’s Bookstore’s poetry open mic, held every First Friday at 7 pm. Readers can share up to 3 minutes’ worth of poetry. It’s a free speech event, so content is not censored. Sep. 4. Free.

Auntie’s Bookstore, 402 W. Main Ave. auntiesbooks.com (509-838-0206) BOB LONN BOOK SIGNING The author

hosts a signing of his new book “Excitement! Shot at and Missed,” a memoir of his time serving in the military during the Korean War. Sep. 5, 1-3 pm. Twisp Cafe, 23505 E. Appleway. (474-9146) BOOTSLAM Spokane Poetry Slam’s monthly, all-ages spoken word competition, with a $50 cash prize. Sign-ups at 7 pm, slam at 7:30 pm. Content not censored.

Sep. 6, 7 pm. $5. Boots Bakery & Lounge, 24 W. Main. spokanepoetryslam.org BROKEN MIC Spokane Poetry Slam’s longest-running, weekly open mic reading series, open to all readers and all-ages.

Wednesdays at 6:30 pm. Free. Neato Burrito, 827 W. First. spokanepoetryslam.org J.A. JANCE The best-selling author celebrates the release of her latest novel, “Dance of the Bones,” in a special event hosted by Auntie’s Bookstore. Sep. 10, 7

pm. $3 suggested donation. Bing Crosby Theater, 901 W. Sprague. auntiesbookstore.com

ETC.

YOGA, BELLYDANCE & AERIAL SILK CLASSES The new yoga, aerial and bellydance studio hosts free classes to the public before its grand opening on Sept.

8. Yoga at 5:30 pm, aerial silks at 6:30 pm, bellydance at 7:30 pm. Sep. 4, 4:309 pm. Free. Coil Yoga + Bellydance, 304 W. Pacific. coilyogabellydance.com LION’S CLUB SCENIC TRAIN RIDES: The annual scenic train rides along the Pend Oreille River valley include stops across the Box Canyon Trestle and a ride through the 810-foot-long Vail Tunnel. Sept. 5-6; see website for reservations and departure times. $15/adults; $10/ages 2-12. Ione,

Wash. lionstrainrides.com MARIJUANA REGULATION SYMPOSIUM To provide an opportunity for governing agencies and community members to understand the regulatory arena in the cannabis industry, several community partners are hosting a symposium. Local and regional regulators discuss the many facets of this new industry, share info on local permits needed for new marijuana businesses, and ask questions of regulatory agencies about being in compliance. Sep. 9, 8:30-11:30 am.

Free. Spokane City Hall, 808 W. Spokane Falls Blvd. (625-7773) SAVING SEEDS Gardeners were saving seeds long before seed catalogs. Learn to identify which seeds you can save and how to do it with Master Gardener Steven Nokes. Sep. 9, 6:30-7:30 pm. Free. Otis Orchards Library, 22324 E. Wellesley Ave. (893-8390) 

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Seattle-based financial blogger and medical marijuana patient Dan Nelson founded the company in 2014. Now five employees strong, the company is strategizing for growth after a viral launch.

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Spokane is represented by 14 dispensaries and delivery services.

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Cinder_2PunchTuesdays_082015_6H_KG.pdf

2 Punch Tuesdays at Cinder_5.5 x 5.4_v2.indd 1

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SEPTEMBER 3, 2015 INLANDER 67

Health in the

Your local resource for beauty, fitness, and total well being.

TO ADVERTISE IN THIS SPECIAL HEALTH SECTION: (509) 444-7355 or Sales@Inlander.com

Holistic Festival Harmony Yoga CLASSES

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TWO LOCATIONS! For complete schedule harmonyoga.com • 509.747.4430

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Back to school sleep tips

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50 Booths • Free Lectures

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For more in-depth health coverage, grab a FREE copy of InHealth magazine at your favorite Inlander rack or medical office!

play

H

KIDS HEALT Page 27

509.998.0255 ArtOfMassage-Spokane.com 68 INLANDER SEPTEMBER 3, 2015

| Understanding

Health g

s of Vapin ng Gift 9 | Peril

MA 60016914

A U G U ST- S

EPTEMBER

SPECIAL SUPPLEME

CVR TM

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NT TO THE INLANDER

indd 1

inhealth 8-3-2015.

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10:23 AM

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Visit valleyfest.org for complete details.

BUYING Estate contents / household goods. See abesdiscount.com or 509-939-9996

ASSEMBLERS NEEDED Apollo Retail is seeking Assembly Techs in the Spokane area to build/assemble bikes, furniture, grills etc. May also service retail stores.

Requirements: Valid Driver's 355 09) 444-7ard@Inlander.com ay License, reliable transportation, (5 : E N O H o P ulletinB it Parkw basic tools. We are a drug-free E-MAIL: B 1227 West Summ 1 environment. Please apply : N 9 O 9 S WA 20 IN PER online at www.apolloretail.com Spokane, or contactBrandon.keister@ apolloretail.com or at (813) 712-2519 to discuss competitive hourly rate and job specifics.

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It’s fun in the warm atmosphere with fantastic prices. The best the Beautiful the only Ye Olde Optical Shoppe 509-326-3459

Equal Housing Opportunity All real estate advertising in this newspaper is subject to the Federal Fair Housing Law which makes it illegal to advertise any preference to, limitation or discrimination based on race, color, religion, sex, handicap, familial status, or national origin, or an intention to make any such preference, limitation or discrimination. This newspaper will not knowingly accept any advertising for our real estate which is in violation of the law. Our readers are hereby informed that all dwellings advertised in this newspaper are available on an equal opportunity basis. To complain on discrimination call HUD free at 1-800-669-9777. The toll free telephone number for the hearing impaired is 1-800-927-9275.

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ACROSS 1. Some HDTVs 4. “John ____ Jingleheimer Schmidt” (children’s song) 9. Look happy 14. “Please, have some!”

15. 2005 biography subtitled “The Making of a Terrorist” 16. Irish tenor Ronan 17. Carrier in “The Aviator” 18. Smash over the infield, say 19. Celebrity ribbing 20. “This movie isn’t a tragedy, I hope”?

23. Model Carangi and others 24. Intention 25. OR workers 28. Where a shepherd keeps his attention?

33. 1965’s “I Got You Babe,” e.g.

34. ____ lamp 35. Go by bike

LOCAL, T INDEPENDEEN AND FRE SINCE 1993!

36. Place to fill out paperwork for baked potatoes, pasta, etc.?

42. “All Day Strong. All Day Long” sloganeer 43. “____ Lisa” 44. “Shane” star Alan 45. Spider’s response to “You believe those things are strong enough to catch flies? I don’t think so!”?

51. NBA position: Abbr.

52. Proof-ending letters 53. Green target 54. “Poppycock”! (or an apt statement about this puzzle’s theme) 60. Anticipate 62. Woods with many eagles 63. Toned 64. Doodlebug, e.g.

65. Noted bankruptcy of 2001

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66. Suffix with elephant or serpent 67. Draw (from) 68. Pro at shorthand 69. Wink’s partner DOWN 1. “Vamanos!”

2. “Sir ____ and the Green Knight” 3. Patronize, as a hotel 4. It’s quite a shock 5. Big holding in Risk 6. “Pleeeeeease?”

7. Take it as a sign 8. It might be used for tracking shots 9. First name in the Senate for 47 years 10. Texter’s “Butt out” 11. To such an extent 12. Vegas opening?

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13. Tinnitus doc 21. Suffix with peck or puck 22. One sharing a bunk bed, maybe 26. Where heroes are made 27. Big first for a baby

35. Zodiac symbol 36. Ranch newborn 37. “There oughta be ____!”

38. Relatively low-temperature star 39. Hanes competitor 40. In a funk 41. U-turn from WSW 45. Thus far 46. Online social appointments 47. HBO competitor 48. Last place?

49. White rat, e.g.

50. Stored compactly, in a way 52. It juts into the Persian Gulf “BS” 55. Sweet home?

56. ____ trap 29. Alternatively 57. Brute 30. Young chap 58. Unit in a geology book 31. One of 17 on a Monopoly board: Abbr. 59. Film villain with prosthetic hands 32. Sirs’ counterparts 60. Noted 1964 convert to Islam 33. Prefix with functional 61. Lacking color

SEPTEMBER 3, 2015 INLANDER 69

JESSIE SPACCIA ILLUSTRATION

Nature Calls The Inland Northwest’s rite of passage, in the waning days of summer

BY LAURA JOHNSON

I

’m stuck. Somehow, while the rest of my floating crew is heading down a patch of frothy Spokane River rapids in their mustard-yellow tubes, mine has found a home perched on top of a glistening, jagged rock.

Barely grabbing D I S T I L L E D onto my friend’s nearby tube, I’m A SHOT OF LIFE just able to free my beached vessel and am quickly pulled screaming into the river’s flowing waves, the ice-cold water splashing into my lap and my Miller High Life tallboy.

Staying together is our refrain on the river. But it’s easier said than done. Through rock clusters, choppy

70 INLANDER SEPTEMBER 3, 2015

waves, beaver sightings, renditions of “Just Around the Riverbend” from Disney’s Pocahontas and endless circling in eddies on the edges of the river, my posse of four attempts to stay huddled around our floating, domesticbeer-filled cooler. As we bake in the sun and pass by row upon row of evergreen trees, our undersides slowly grow numb in the water waiting for the next hurdle to arrive.

In the summer, floating a river with an adult beverage in hand is a beloved rite of passage in the Inland Northwest. This year, even with water levels at an all-time low and the air recently choked by wildfires, many of us still find refuge in a life jacket, a rubber tube and a beer.

“Has anyone peed yet?” I ask my cohorts.

“Twice,” one says.

Your entire life you’ve been told that relieving yourself in front of others is not acceptable, especially not in a swimming pool. But on the river, nature literally calls.

Taboo be damned. Let it go.

Other rules: Leave nothing behind (especially not your swimsuit; no one wants to see that). Keep empties in the cooler. Designate a driver early on. Paddle to the middle of the river, if you want to move swiftly with the current. Know the safest put-in and take-out spots before you get in.

“I’m jumping out,” announces my friend.

We’ve been stuck in shallow, rocky water for 10 minutes. The sun has hidden away behind gray clouds.

Goosebumps have risen. We all must stand up and pull our weight to where the water is moving. The end is near.

At the close of our journey, the final exit isn’t easy; the wild river isn’t ready to let go. Perhaps neither are we.

As soon as we go under the TJ Meenach Bridge, the exit marker, we’re out into the middle of the river flowing left. The exit is river right. We look at each other in panic but also laughter, and start paddling hard. Four hours after dipping into the river, we have emerged battered, woozy and out of breath on the rocky shore. Relief sets in.

We want to do this again next weekend. 

know it all.

ON STANDS NOW

Upcoming Events

AT THE COEUR D’ALENE CASINO RESORT See website for live music schedule, golf and gaming events, spa, hotel and food specials.

SEPTEMBER 16th Lee Brice 7 pm | R $60 G $50

18th Joey Mckenzie and the Western Flyers 7 pm | Event Center

19th Music, Micros and BBQ Red Tail Bar & Grill | $17

19th-20th Fiddle Contest Event Center

26th Music by blues rock band Indigenous 7 pm | Chinook Meadow | $10

OCTOBER 29TH Mini Kiss 7 pm | R $35 • G $25

NOVEMBER 19th Mixed Martial Arts 7 pm | GR $60 • R $40 • G $25

Worley, Idaho | 1 855 232-2772 | CDACASINO.COM