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COMMENT STAFF DIRECTORY PHONE: 509-325-0634 Ted S. McGregor Jr. (tedm@inlander.com) PUBLISHER

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WHAT DO YOU THINK NEEDS TO BE DONE TO PREVENT MASS SHOOTINGS AND VIOLENCE? ALEX TESTER

The violence that is promoted around young children even with toy guns or through violent video games… People just need to be more aware that it could be creating impact in people’s heads. I think family life is really important, and parents being really involved in what their kids are being exposed to.

Laura Johnson (x250) MUSIC EDITOR

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PAUL NIMENS We need to stop putting it on the news. We need to stop glorifying it. There are crazies out there, who are seeing how much attention the shooters are getting in the media, and thinking that’s how they’ll be remembered.

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It’s time to thank Dr. John Moyer — deliverer of babies and defender of the Spokane River BY ROBERT HEROLD

I

f you haven’t been down to Huntington Park, you’re missing a gem. From the plaza adjacent to Post Street and City Hall, and on down the winding walk to the lower falls, Avista has perfected a quintessentially Spokane landscape. The view of the monolithic Monroe Street Bridge… the gondolas swaying… the old Washington Water Power building, one of Kirtland Cutter’s finest… the roar of the Spokane River falls, especially this time of year… It’s an amazing experience, made all the more remarkable because it wasn’t long ago that we almost paved right over it. Never completely forgotten, but never quite the center of attention either, the Spokane falls and river gorge were under threat during the ’90s, when the city wanted to build the Lincoln Street Bridge right over the site of today’s Huntington Park. Had the bridge been built, there would be no Huntington Park; the wide concrete span would have preempted the singularly magnificent views that have been made so accessible by Avista.

N

ow the city wants to name the beautiful plaza at the crest of Huntington Park for a citizen who has made an important civic contribution. I second the nomination that has been formally made by the Friends of the Falls: Dr. John Moyer. His medical career alone was noteworthy: Go back a few years, and you’d be hard pressed to find any family in town who hadn’t had at least one baby delivered by “Dr. John.” What people don’t know is that even after retirement, Moyer — who is getting up there in years but still with us — continued his run out to small-town Eastern Washington. He was our very own Marcus Welby — much beloved and always on call. Then, of course, there was his political career. A Republican, Moyer won in a Democratic district, the 3rd, and would serve in both the Washington state House and Senate. But it was Moyer’s contribution to the Lincoln Street Bridge fight that begs to be recognized. I had something to do with flagging the issue in a series of commentaries that ran in the Inlander and on KPBX, questioning this project that appeared to be a “done deal.” A young local architect, Rick Hastings, agreed with my assessment and did something about it: He organized the Friends of the Falls to defend this priceless feature of our city. It was Moyer who lent his prestige to the cause when he joined the citizens group a short time later. He also made the case to expand the issue: It wasn’t just the falls that were at risk, but the gorge below, too. At the edge of the falls, under a Spokane

summer sky, it’s hard to believe now, but the City of Spokane was bent on building a bridge over all of it. It rested its justification on two supposed needs: Fighting air pollution and easing traffic congestion. So the Friends took a closer look. John Covert, a geologist by training and Spokane resident, did his own research and destroyed the city’s pollution claims: Their data was outdated, their analysis flawed, their conclusions unwarranted. At the same time, nationally recognized traffic engineer Walter Kulash came to Spokane for an EWU symposium, and he did to the city’s congestion argument what Covert had done to the air pollution argument: He destroyed it. Local developer and preservationist Ron Wells has said that “Walter Kulash changed the debate.” (There was another good reason to oppose the bridge; it was to be part of a new Monroe-Lincoln couplet, creating a freeway through downtown. Everybody knows that couplets crush walkability and destroy neighborhoods.) Still, the Friends of the Falls needed legal help. To the rescue came local attorneys Laurel and Doug Siddoway, who took the case pro bono. In the end, despite a dug-in, pro-bridge City of Spokane, the Friends of the Falls prevailed and the Lincoln Street Bridge project was defeated.

I

t remains hard to believe we got that close to catastrophe. In the early 20th century, the Olmsted Brothers identified the Spokane River falls and gorge as the city’s defining feature. Before landing on the idea of a World’s Fair, King Cole wanted to create a Spokane River Gorge National Monument. Now we have Kendall Yards thriving off its proximity to the Spokane River, Avista’s investment at Huntington Park and plans for upgrading Riverfront Park — all made possible by the good citizens who defended the Spokane River. Dr. John Moyer was one of the most important of those voices: He was someone people listened to, and he spoke out about the bridge precisely when we needed to hear it. So today, due to this profound civic effort, we don’t have that bridge over the falls, or that downtownkilling couplet. We do have the start of the kind of Great Gorge Park that the Olmsteds and so many others have envisioned. The John Moyer Plaza. Overlooking a cherished place he helped to save, that would be a fitting tribute to an indispensable citizen. n


COMMENT | PUBLISHER’S NOTE

Wrestling With The Truth BY TED S. McGREGOR JR.

T

he breakout star of the current TV season is a big, amiable former wrestler who also happens to be a genius of an astrophysicist. Neil deGrasse Tyson has made science cool again in his reboot of Carl Sagan’s Cosmos, which just wrapped up its run on FOX. His show came along at a pivotal time, when America can’t seem to decide if it’s going to believe in the facts science presents. Many of our elected leaders simply won’t buy some of its toughest findings, like the conclusion that we are causing climate change. It’s hard to let science go to work on fixing something if we can’t even agree it’s real. And like the early scientists introduced to us in Cosmos — men like Giordano Bruno, who was burned at the stake in 1600 for pointing out the universe is ever-expanding — Tyson took a weekly beating after each show. Groups like Answers in Genesis (which brings us the Creation Museum in Kentucky), the Discovery Institute and even — ironically — FOX News have pounded Tyson and his message. Some of these groups object on religious grounds, holding fast to the notion that the Earth was created some 6,000 years ago. They argue that carbon dating is bogus and that the theory of evolution is full of holes. Eventually they fall back on quoting the Bible. Point by point, Cosmos marshaled the facts and set the record straight. It’s odd, because most religions have long ago reconciled science and faith — Pope Francis is a chemist by training, and it was a Jesuit priest, Georges Lemaître, who first articulated the Big Bang theory. But in some circles, it’s become fashionable to pooh-pooh pointy-headed Harvard types like Tyson. If you dig a little deeper, it’s often in the service of ideology, politics and/or money, but it is dragging the rest of us down. We badly needed an authority like Tyson to prove in a simple, straightforward way that “facts are facts.” Tyson tells the story of when he was 17 and, considering his higher ed options, spent a day at Cornell with his hero, Carl Sagan. That changed his life. “I already knew I wanted to become a scientist,” Tyson told the New York Times. “But that afternoon, I learned from Carl the kind of person I wanted to become.” America’s kids need that kind of inspiration, too — to be awed by our planet (or, as Sagan famously described it, “a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam”), to follow science as a personal calling, and to always seek the light of truth. 

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COMMENT | IDAHO

Blame Labrador

CALEB WALSH ILLUSTRATION

Why the Idaho Republican Party is crumbling BY JOHN T. REUTER

“T

his is as low as the party can go. We have hit rock bottom. I think the party has no choice but to go up from here.” Those are the words of Congressman Raul Labrador at the end of Idaho Republican Party’s state convention on Saturday. I wish he was right. Certainly the convention was a model of dysfunction, defined by a party chairman clinging to power by stacking committees, hours of procedural votes and ultimately nothing happening. Seriously, nothing happened. Oh, sure, there was name calling, parlia-

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mentary maneuvering, more than $15,000 spent and speeches by potential presidential contenders Rand Paul and Mike Huckabee. But when it came to the alleged purpose of the convention, there wasn’t even a vote on who the next party chairman should be or the party’s platform — the two key reasons to even hold the event. Labrador deserves the lion’s share of the credit for this dysfunction. His allies currently control the Idaho Republican Party. In fact, the party leadership appointed him chairman of the convention. He accepted the role saying he would focus on bringing the various wings of the party together — a task at which he clearly failed. That’s not really surprising. Labrador has made a career of splintering the Republi-

can Party both within Idaho and for almost two terms in D.C. He has been particularly effective at winning by using parliamentary procedure to make up for his lack of support. For example, in his final hours in the Idaho Legislature before he took off for a career in D.C., he blocked a bill to prohibit texting while driving. It was a common-sense provision and enjoyed a clear majority of the legislature’s support. Labrador was able to stop the bill from getting a vote by invoking a rarely used parliamentary rule to run out the clock. The same tactics were used by Labrador and his allies at this year’s state convention. After new local elections for party representatives, they knew they didn’t have the votes to re-elect their chosen party chairman, Barry Peterson. So they went to work deploying every parliamentary trick they could come up with to try to win the vote and, failing that, run out the clock. The result was that nothing happened and the right wing kept their current party chairman and platform, including — appropriately, considering their actions — a provision to take away Idahoans’ right to vote for their U.S. Senator by repealing the 17th Amendment. And while Labrador officially suggests he is disappointed by the results, he doth protest too much, methinks. Post-convention, his allies in the Idaho “Liberty” Caucus have been taking a victory lap, declaring they stood up against the establishment and hailing the donothing convention as a win for their cause. It makes sense that Labrador would be their chosen leader. His remarkable rise to power has always been about making sure things don’t happen, by any means necessary (i.e., government shutdown). This was his convention, his failure and his fall. Unfortunately, it’s likely that he will keep pulling his party and the state of Idaho down with him. n John T. Reuter, a former Sandpoint City Councilman, is the executive director of Conservation Voters for Idaho. He has been active in protecting Idaho’s environment, expanding LGBT rights and the Idaho Republican Party.

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“Pay attention, people: Politicians want you to forget, but only one side will be right about raising the minimum wage.”

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“The Obama model of excusing mismanagement and incompetence by blaming others and ignoring accountability jeopardizes the very core of America’s value system.”

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COMMENT | FROM READERS

OBAMA DOESN’T DESERVE ALL BLAME eorge Washington fought hard to protect the pay of his fellow

G

revolutionary officers, but left the enlisted men twisting in the wind. Harry Truman pointed out the treatment of veterans was problematic. George W. Bush started two unfunded wars and admitted the VA problem took a large leap in complexity. Yet what do we see? On one hand, there’s the [Republican/Tea Party] House of Representatives that approved of two unfunded wars and then repeatedly rejected increased funding for veterans because it was unfunded. We had Sen. Bernie Sanders putting forward a bill that would help the VA, yet he constantly got blocked by a Republican filibuster threat. So what’s on the other side? That would be nonsense such as the rant by George Nethercutt (“It Doesn’t Add Up,” 6/12/14). There’s no context, no admission of a long-term problem, no recognition of constant Democratic attempts to address it and Republican attempts to avoid it. All we have is another “It’s Obama’s fault!!!” Nethercutt mutters about Obama hearing things “from the news,” but I’ll bet he had nothing to say about Reagan “not recollecting” or Bush 41 being “out of the loop.” While Obama could have acted more strongly, he isn’t worse than any other president and certainly is better than the one who caused the huge jump in injured veterans and then handed the problem off to the next guy. DAVID TEICH Spokane Valley, Wash.

Readers respond to “It Doesn’t Add Up,” commentary about President Obama dodging accountability:

MICHELLE STARRY: Republicans should check themselves when accusing anyone of “dodging accountability.” Last time I checked their president presided over the largest terrorist attack, started two wars, caused the largest economic collapse of our time, and lost a cherished American city because of cronyism.

Readers respond to “Paying It Forward,” commentary about raising the minimum wage:

DOUG NICOL: Perhaps the Inlander could double their employees’ pay, I’ve never heard them accused of paying too much $$.

MIKE DAVISSON: Yawn... he is just reaffirming his GOP creds. Nothing original or interesting. DALE-ANN CARNEY: Bush and Cheney, two weeks into Obama’s presidency, said it was his war. They were so proud of their wars, but Hot Potato’d it right over. Sorry, politicians rarely do what they should. Look at Congress, saying from the beginning of his presidency, they wouldn’t work with him. So basically breaking their contract with “The American People,” who THEY work for. 

LISA SCHNEIDER STEPHENS: As a small business owner, every time minimum wage goes up I have to work more hours and my employee hours get cut. ANNE SCHUERMAN PERKINS: It will be an eye opener to see what actually happens. 

JUNE 19, 2014 INLANDER 11


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transportation

Spokane Partnership, says that crime has heated up a conversation that’s simmered for two decades: Should the Plaza should be improved? Or should it be moved?

STA or Go?

Unhappy neighbors

The Transit Authority is preparing to spend millions on the Plaza — but some downtown businesses wish it wasn’t there at all By Daniel Walters

T

he glass doors hiss open and shut on a Saturday afternoon at the Spokane Transit Authority Plaza. Patrons stream in wearing gay-pride crowns, tie-dye sweatshirts, black trench coats, cowboy hats and camouflage. An immigrant from Eritrea has a rapid-fire conversation in his native tongue with his friends. One man, with a medical bracelet, just got back from having a hernia treated at the hospital. Another’s heading there to replace his stolen psych medication. A homeless couple, Don Salbeck and Melissa Wick, are sitting on a bench, hand-rolling cigarettes, selling them for a quarter apiece. They’ve seen a lot

from this vantage point over the years, but nothing like last week. “I saw a guy get killed right there,” says Salbeck.   He points to the bus schedules near the Wall Street entrance where, on June 7, a man walked up to 49-year-old Sean Oie, pulled out a knife and stabbed him once in the heart. The Plaza became a crime scene by grim coincidence. Murder suspect Donald Phillips says he tailed Oie there after the two had an argument. It happened less than a month after the STA board unanimously approved a $4.7 million plan to upgrade the Plaza. Mark Richard, president of the Downtown

When Bryn West, general manager of River Park Square, gives potential tenants tours of downtown, she intentionally avoids the Plaza. “When you take a retailer on a walkabout and a block away from RPS is the Plaza, it’s rather unsightly,” West says. She believes it’s hurt the spread of downtown retail. She doesn’t want to be seen as elitist or opposed to transit, but she’s frustrated by the way some patrons treat the STA Plaza like a hangout spot, rather than a bus stop. She objects to how some patrons crowd the sidewalks or cause trouble in the community. “The numbers don’t lie, right?” West says. “Eightytwo percent of the people that we [eject and temporarily ban] from River Park Square are STA riders.”   West can picture better uses for the land the Plaza sits on. Others agree. “My ownership would say that they do not believe it’s the highest and best use,” says Alison Bantz, Kiemle & Hagood property ...continued on next page

The STA board approved a $4.7 million plan to upgrade the Plaza. young kwak photo

JUNE 19, 2014 INLANDER 13


NEWS | TRANSPORTATION

“LAW SHARK” I am the

A rendering of proposed first-floor retail in the Plaza.

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manager for the nearby Peyton Building. “They would like to see that the STA loads and unloads buses on their own facility, rather than using the public right of way.” Councilmember and STA board chair Amber Waldref says the Plaza’s proximity to businesses is partly why it’s been so successful for bus riders, businesses and the surrounding community. Low-income residents need transit, she says, to be able to get jobs and keep them. “Downtown, there are a tremendous amount of services provided for low-income and homeless folks,” councilmember Mike Allen adds. Tensions between businesses and STA ignited in August of 2012 when STA shut down its smoking area due to roadwork. “When we closed it, we did not consult as much, in retrospect, as I wish we had,” says E. Susan Meyer, the STA CEO. Exiled smokers flooded the sidewalks of nearby businesses. For 11 months, Bantz says, the ownership of the Peyton Building paid more than $24,000 to hire private security to shoo away smokers. Julie Katzer, owner of the Brews Bros. coffee shop on Sprague, says it got so bad she wanted to sell. “It was almost like they were mobs outside,” says Katzer. “People had to fight their way through.” In November of last year STA responded, deciding to spend $70,000 to build a new smoking area. When that was finished, business owners say, the improvement was remarkable. “We have been really responsive,” Meyer

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“STA OR GO?,” CONTINUED... says. STA also has shifted loading zones after hearing complaints. As for safety, Meyer says STA has paid for a downtown police officer for 10 years. The new police precinct is just next door, and the most recent Spokane police statistics show violent crime downtown has actually fallen by a third since 2012. The sheer volume of bus riders means the system is bound to include a few troublemakers. “The folks that are nuisances are nuisances on our system, too,” Meyer says.

THE ALTERNATIVE

Even before the Plaza opened in 1995, it was met with criticism. Construction costs for the facility ballooned from a projected $12 million to $20 million. A Spokesman-Review columnist quickly condemned Plaza loiterers as “riffraff.” Meyer, then the executive director of an economic development group, was an early opponent. “[It was my] uninformed wish that STA would go to the Intermodal Center,” she says. For some downtown business owners, the Spokane Intermodal Center, where Amtrak trains and Greyhound buses converge, is an appealing alternative to the Plaza. The City of Spokane already owns the property. But after being hired at STA and researching the question, Meyer says she realized it was “operationally infeasible.” A 2009 Nelson\Nygaard study said it was possible. Extensive changes were needed to the site, but the center could handle STA’s buses and remove “the perceived blight at the current Plaza location.” But the study also found huge


downsides: Customizing the site could cost as much as $6 million, negatively impact traffic flow and mean longer, costlier routes with reduced ridership. It wouldn’t work at all with some of the newly added STA routes or the proposed hybrid trolley line. Instead, the study recommended that the current Plaza be upgraded, a direction the STA board voted to reaffirm last year. “The taxpayers — if we were to move — would have to pay to relocate something that works, that we own,” Meyer says. “How in the world would it make sense to do that, rather than investing in the service?”

PLAZA MAKEOVER

“There is a call for a review about the decisions around the Plaza,” says Richard, the DSP president. “I hear it from realtors, I hear it from downtown citizens, on all sides of the topic.” When Richard was STA board chair in 2008, he voted to keep the Plaza. But he says the projected costs of the Plaza upgrade have doubled since then. Once the construction to upgrade the Plaza is underway next May, the possibility of changing locations becomes even more unlikely. Fortunately for Plaza critics, the upgrade is intended to address many of their complaints. By September of 2016, the south-side Sprague entrance will be opened up, extended and turned into a sprawling waiting area. Riders will be able to see their buses arriving from indoors. In 2015, GPS-equipped buses will begin streaming location data onto smartphones and real-time information screens in the Plaza. Combine the two, and crowds won’t have to cram sidewalks to wait for their bus anymore. “I have high hopes that it will mitigate the loitering on the sidewalk,” says West, the River Park Square general manager. Large conference rooms — where local businesses like Kiemle & Hagood and politicians in the Peyton Building could hold meetings — would replace lightly trafficked second-floor retail spots. The escalator will be shifted to the side, the cougar statues relocated and the waterfall eliminated. “Instead of just having one retail space downstairs, we’ll have four,” says Karl Otterstrom, STA’s planning director. He points to the Plaza’s west wall. “This whole side is retail. Just like a good city street.” He envisions restaurants, fast food joints, bookstores and convenience stores. After all, there’s another side to the relationship between businesses and buses. Bus riders are customers. It’s why the Plaza’s first floor already has the most successful Subway franchise in the Spokane region. Katzer, the coffee shop owner, sees that too. She believes, ultimately, that the Plaza is an advantage: moving it would likely hurt her business. “We have tons of bus riders in here,” Katzer says. And it’s not just about coffee sales, it’s about the character of downtown. She sees the diversity, with the Davenport Hotel on one side and the Plaza on the other, as part of downtown Spokane’s magic. “I can have a millionaire and a homeless person sitting next to each other in the café,” Katzer says. “And it’s kind of cool.” n

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JUNE 19, 2014 INLANDER 15


NEWS | DIGEST

NEED TO KNOW

The Big News of the Past Week

PHOTO EYE WHO LET THE DOGS OUT?

1.

As Sunni insurgents capture and advance on several cities in northern Iraq, President Obama plans to deploy 275 troops to the country to protect U.S. personnel and the American Embassy in Baghdad.

2.

The City of Spokane is facing a class-action lawsuit for failing to refund about $2.1 million in wrongfully collected traffic tickets issued through red-light cameras.

3.

The Daiquiri Factory — of “Date Grape Koolaid” infamy — is being evicted from its downtown location after its owners neglected to pay more than $2,000 in rent.

4.

The U.S. Court of Appeals has upheld the conviction of former Spokane police officer Karl Thompson, who was found guilty three years ago of using excessive force in the beating death of Otto Zehm.

5.

The United States beat Ghana 2-1 in its first 2014 FIFA World Cup match on Monday. The U.S. will face Portugal on Sunday.

ON INLANDER.com What’s Creating Buzz MATT WEIGAND PHOTO

Rusty, a 5-year-old Beagle, walks his owner Brittney Mortlock during the 11th annual Parade of Paws on Saturday. The parade is one of the Spokane Humane Society’s biggest fundraisers, offering two walking routes for dogs and their owners and even inviting cats on leashes to participate. Despite the rainy weather this year, 468 people and 306 dogs attended, according to the Humane Society.

DIGITS

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The number of cities in Idaho that have now approved local ordinances barring discrimination against gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people. A measure in Victor, a small, rural town near the Wyoming border, went into effect this week.

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The number of tickets Spokane police issued in the year since the City Council passed a controversial law criminalizing people who sit or lie on sidewalks and planters downtown.

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VIDEO: It’s been about a year since we moved into Kendall Yards and the area has been growing fast since. Find a video about the area at Inlander.com. MUSIC: Chewelah native Allen Stone announced he’ll play the Knitting Factory in October. Details on the blog. PHOTOS: We’ve got shots from the Spokane Indians’ opening weekend and the Pride Parade, all on the blog. NEWS: Spokane Riverkeeper Bart Mihailovich is moving on. Find out why and how to apply for his job at Inlander.com.


NEWS | BRIEFS

“This is as low as the party can go,” Labrador said. Nationally, pundits said that the convention’s failure didn’t help Labrador’s chances for Majority Leader. — DANIEL WALTERS

Party Lines

PLAYING POLITICS

Raul Labrador seeks the national spotlight; plus, “dirty politics” in the sheriff’s race OUT IN THE OPEN

The next time a Spokane city councilmember wants to skip hiring a LEGISLATIVE ASSISTANT and spend that money elsewhere, he or she will need a public vote and the support of at least four other councilmembers. The changes come after controversy and ethics complaints over Spokane City Councilman Steve Salvatori’s decision to forego hiring an aide and instead split that money between the city’s warming center program for the homeless and other groups, including the Spokane Angel Alliance, an investment group of which he is a board member. Critics also called out Council President Ben Stuckart for approving the spending. The complaints were not upheld by the city’s ethics committee and, even as they supported the changes Monday, Salvatori and Stuckart defended past practices. The council had used routine small contracts, like it uses to buy office supplies, for the payments. Now, such spending must be done in emergency budget ordinances, for which the city charter requires a supermajority. “Policies were followed before and there was vetting of where these monies were spent, mine included, but this is a much better policy,” Salvatori said Monday. — HEIDI GROOVER

THE LABRADOR MOMENT

In a single week, Idaho Rep. RAUL LABRADOR became a crucial player in two different internal GOP battles: one in Idaho, the other in Washington, D.C. Following House Majority Leader Eric Cantor’s primary defeat last week, tea-party conservatives struggled to find someone to run for the vacant Majority Leader slot. Finally, Labrador volunteered. “I know some people made commitments before I entered the race, but the most important commitments we make are to the American people we represent,” Labrador wrote in a message seeking support from his colleagues. Running against current Majority Whip Rep. Kevin McCarthy, Labrador’s seen as a long-shot for the Majority Leader election this week, though he’s quickly won support of tea-party groups like FreedomWorks and conservative talk radio hosts like Hugh Hewitt. But instead of wrangling support from members of Congress in Washington D.C., Labrador spent this Saturday in Moscow, Idaho, chairing a disaster of a state GOP convention. Despite Labrador’s efforts to bridge the conservative and even-more-conservative wings of the Idaho GOP, the convention disbanded without electing a chairman or even passing a platform.

The family of a Spokane Valley pastor fatally shot by a Spokane County sheriff’s deputy in 2010 has recently filed a campaign complaint with the state’s PUBLIC DISCLOSURE COMMISSION against Sheriff Ozzie Knezovich, alleging a “pattern” of campaign violations. Knezovich disputes any wrongdoing. Alan Creach, the son of Wayne Scott Creach who was killed in 2010, filed the complaint on June 6 after the Sheriff’s Office issued a press release on department letterhead announcing a new endorsement of Knezovich. The complaint also questioned recent Crime Check billboards with Knezovich’s name and photo. “It didn’t seem very fair,” Creach says. “[The sheriff] has made a pattern of thumbing his nose at the law.” Creach, who is supporting the sheriff’s challenger Douglas Orr, says he has been troubled by Knezovich’s management of the Sheriff’s Office in the years since the 2010 shooting. The family has also contributed money to Orr’s campaign. Creach says the PDC has acknowledged receipt of his complaint, but offered no other details. Knezovich says the PDC has not contacted him regarding the issue. He acknowledges he “should have caught” the endorsement announcement, saying he has put out a memo to prevent future issues. He says he quickly addressed concerns about the Crime Check billboards and they all came down months ago. He calls the complaint “dirty politics.” “There is no pattern here — zero,” he says, adding, “A family is trying to make a political issue. … What’s the story in that?” — JACOB JONES

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NEWS | DEVELOPMENT

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West Central neighborhood leader Kelly Cruz says he hopes designating some dilapidated houses “blighted” could lead to improvement. YOUNG KWAK PHOTO

What is Blight?

City leaders say the first step to fixing up that run-down house on your block is the power to label it “blighted” Sunday, June 22nd

BY HEIDI GROOVER

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obody likes the word. “‘Disarray’ is the word I prefer to use,” says Colleen Gardner, co-chair of the Chief Garry Park neighborhood

council. “I would love if we could use the term ‘revitalization,’” says Spokane City Councilwoman Amber Waldref. The word they can’t escape is “blight.” It’s a term with ties to inner-city ghettos and eminent domain, but it may also be the key to spending Spokane’s share of federal money in a brand-new way. Each year, when the federal government divvies up Community Development Block Grant dollars, cities are restricted in how they can spend that money. Specifically, the spending must be tied to a federal objective: directly benefiting low- and moderate-income people, preventing or eliminating “slums or blight” or addressing some urgent, unfunded safety or health concern. Until now, the city

has focused on that first objective in justifying its CDBG spending, but that comes with a whole set of strict regulations. Say the city wanted to tear down a dilapidated house or factory. In many cases, it could only spend CDBG money on parts of the project that it could prove would directly benefit low- to moderate-income people, like new housing, but not on some of the more indirect expenses that might be essential to making a project happen, like improving sidewalks around it or tearing down an old building to make the lot more attractive to a private developer. If the city adds a formal definition of “blight” to its books, though, it could use that second, more flexible objective. Now, a group of city and community leaders is trying to hash out what that definition might look like, and how to start using it without causing neighborhood heartburn. “The word ‘blight’ doesn’t ring well,” says Gardner, who also is

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active with the Community Assembly, the group representing all 27 neighborhood councils. “It’s not a word anybody in Spokane has ever heard. … We don’t know how we’re going to identify that without making it sound like the city is the next Detroit.” Waldref, who represents Northeast Spokane, including Hillyard and east Sprague, says it’s a discussion that’s come up and faded away before. “Spokane, I think, is just very proud that we don’t really have slum areas like you would see in other cities,” she says. “What we need to do is get beyond the word and recognize this is an economic development tool.” Kelly Cruz, who has long been active in the West Central neighborhood, says he can envision change here. Throughout this historic neighborhood, conspicuous among clean, well-kept houses, are others that are crumbling. Cruz says he’s seen houses in the area deteriorate because the cost of fixing them up or tearing them down is more than the value of the land, or what a landowner might ever make off that property. Cruz also points to Monroe Street, a dated thoroughfare that’s been home to multiple pedestrian deaths in recent years, as in need of city attention. “I don’t perceive [designating an area “blighted”] so much as a negative … with the realization that a lot of our housing and our commercial buildings are 100 years old and plus, and some of them are in very distressed conditions,” Cruz says. “There needs to be some sort of addressment to that.” Spokane wouldn’t be the first to take this approach. In 2003, Caldwell, Idaho, used about $1.5 million in CDBG dollars paired with other funding to renovate an old train depot in the heart of the city. Surrounded by poor lighting and cracked sidewalks, the depot was decaying, sheets of plastic in the rafters catching the water seeping through the roof. “The downtown area surrounding that was just tired and needed a facelift,” says Debbie Geyer, one of the leaders of the projSend comments to ect, now the city clerk. With the infusion of editor@inlander.com. cash, Geyer says the area became a vibrant “gathering place” that’s now booked for events nearly every weekend of the summer. It also spurred more improvement in other parts of Caldwell’s downtown, she says. Caldwell created its blight definition with that project in mind, while Spokane is looking to put the definition into the law and then find projects to fit it, creating a sprawling discussion about the issue. Jonathan Mallahan, director of the city’s Community and Neighborhood Services Division, who is leading the effort, emphasizes one point that he says will be key to community buy-in: Labeling a building or area “blighted” is a carrot, not a stick. The city’s code enforcement office already works to compel property owners to fix up deteriorating buildings. This, Mallahan says, would be a designation neighborhoods could seek out. “There’s a perception that if a property is declared blighted there will be disinvestment in the neighborhood. … [Instead] it should lead to resources, help to develop that area,” Mallahan says. “It’s not, ‘I declare this blighted and walk away.’”  heidig@inlander.com

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JUNE 19, 2014 INLANDER 19


NEWS | MENTAL HEALTH

Rhoda Behrens, in front of the Spokane County Courthouse, has encountered many legal obstacles to obtaining mental health treatment for her 26-year-old son, Richie Hoisington. JACOB JONES PHOTO

A Mother’s Struggle As an adult son spins out of control, a family fights to find mental health support amid legal obstacles BY JACOB JONES

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hoda Behrens needed someone to arrest her son. Richie had disappeared — refusing mental health treatment and increasingly spiraling out of control — and Behrens turned to the authorities last fall in hopes that someone would find him and bring him back home to Nine Mile Falls. “I’m not afraid of Richie,” she says, “but I know what I’m dealing with.” Behrens, 63, adopted Richie Hoisington as a baby and spent the next 25 years protecting him from himself — caring for him, clothing him, calming his violent tantrums and managing his medications. Behrens rattles off his diagnoses for autism, fetal alcohol syndrome, Tourette’s, ADD and compulsive disorders. She walks with a cane after multiple injuries from his outbursts. She warns of his dark delusions. “If he panics, he’s very, very, very dangerous,” she says. “He needs around-the-clock care.” Richie does not understand what he’s capable of, Behrens says in a tone begging to be taken seriously. He’s over 6 feet tall and unpredictable. He has set fires and broken bones. He lies and steals without remorse. His “childlike” mind cannot reliably distinguish fantasy from reality.

20 INLANDER JUNE 19, 2014

Court records, mental health reports and interviews outline a complex and contentious effort to care for a troubled young man with a unique sense of self, but no legal autonomy. His mother has navigated local mental health and justice systems with limited resources, overburdened staffs and conflicting interests. It’s a fight she has endured for decades, she says, but in the past year new obstacles have stacked against her. “I love him,” she says in November. “I love him dearly. I feel like I’ve really failed him. He appears so far out of reach at this moment. I’m so scared that I won’t get him before he dies … or hurts somebody.” At that time in November, with Richie missing and his fate unknown, Behrens seemed at her most desperate. Soon, though — after new criminal charges, mental evaluations and guardian disputes — she would learn there’s more than one way to lose someone.

B

ehrens seems to always carry with her several stacks of court records. She has them all labeled and arranged, with reports stapled together, all highlighted extensively, her notations scribbled in the margins. She spreads these files out on the table and launches into the middle of Richie’s story, parachuting

listeners into a complicated history. “This is a case where the system has let him down,” she says. “I am just amazed at how numb everyone seems to be, and this just complete disregard for people like Richie. … It’s shocking.” Behrens, a longtime foster parent with a degree in developmental psychology, first took Richie into her home when he was 20 months old. He had previously bounced around five homes in five months, Behrens says. She formally adopted him at age 4. He first went by “Bud,” but later took on his adoptive father’s name, Richard Hoisington. Richie grew up alongside many other special-needs foster children and adoptive children at Behrens’ 3-acre home in Nine Mile Falls. There, she says, the family also keeps dozens of animals in a 501(c) sanctuary, including dogs, cats, horses and some rescued wildlife. Court and medical records indicate that Richie has always suffered from an overwhelming combination of disorders that have affected his sensory perception, spatial awareness, moral recognition, impulse control and other factors that make him very difficult to manage. He has assaulted multiple caretakers and requires supervision overnight. Behrens acknowledges that at one time she used a 6-foot steel mesh cage as a “safe room” to help Richie calm down. After Child Protective Services ordered Behrens to dismantle the cage, Richie ended up attacking her in 2000, causing a traumatic brain injury. She sued the state over the incident, but a jury rejected the claim. A separate federal settlement in 2004 resulted in additional caretakers to help supervise Richie around the clock. When Richie turned 18 in 2006, he wholeheartedly agreed to his mother being named guardian. Behrens says Richie made great progress until medication issues arose in the past couple of years, leading to renewed aggression and volatility. “He became more and more unmanageable, more and more angry,” she says. “So many things have happened since.”


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ichie’s care has taken a toll — physically, emotionally and financially, Behrens admits. The family has long employed live-in caretakers for Richie and her other autistic son, Joe. Behrens and the caretakers often slept in shifts to watch Richie at night. Richie could be abusive, sometimes attacking people or destroying property. Behrens says she has gone from financially comfortable to hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt. Behrens has also undergone physical therapy multiple times to recuperate after attacks. She now sees a psychiatrist regularly to cope with the overwhelming nature of Richie’s needs. She says she takes medication for anxiety and depression. But she believes she’s doing what she has to for her son. “I want him to live a long life,” she says, “as happy a life as possible.” Behrens has worked with Kim Chupurdia, a psychologist at Columbia Medical Associates, for many years. In the past several months, Chupurdia has written more than a dozen letters to various legal and mental health officials supporting Behrens’ efforts to arrange treatment and new medications for Richie. “His medications have at times kept him less aggressive,” Chupurdia writes, “but he has always had breakthrough symptoms of delusional and paranoid thinking. Ms. Behrens has an excellent understanding of behavioral principles. … However, she has not had enough support in the home to keep these behavioral programs consistent.” Mental health providers report that Richie started refusing services last year. He would carry around his prescriptions, but not take them. Providers could not force him to take the medication. It’s a common problem, says Ron Anderson, president of the Spokane chapter of the National Alliance on Mental Illness. Many families run into barriers when trying to get a loved one to take meds. While many advocates have called for easing treatment limitations, involuntary medication still requires a court order. “You can’t just force anybody,” he says. “You have to wait until the bottom drops out.”

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ichie started his descent early last year. As his temper turned violent, he became harder to control, Behrens says. In April 2013, a psychotic episode resulted in two assault charges; records indicate he spent the next two months in the Stevens County Jail. Behrens says authorities did not notify her or any other mental health providers when Richie was released in late June, so he was let out on the street. He ended up staying with a stranger in Tonasket, described in court records as a former reserve deputy. Behrens explains this is when things started slipping out of control. She says she convinced authorities to transport Richie back to Spokane, but she felt she couldn’t allow him to stay with her until he got his medication stabilized. She had him taken into the House of Charity, but his erratic behavior continued to escalate. Court records show police cited him for running into traffic on Aug. 1. Officers arrested him for theft on Aug. 21, and again on Aug. 31, when he stole a tip jar from a pizza stand and fought with bystanders. He then racked up two felony charges on Sept. 12, when surveillance video caught him breaking into the Sport Town store, smashing a $5,000 window and making off with a photo and sports bags. After each arrest, he was released within a day or two. Behrens believed this streak might serve as the leverage to get Richie into a new treatment program. She pleaded with local judges to detain him for a mental health evaluation. Her request worked, as Richie was held and later transferred to Eastern State Hospital — but it also sparked an inquiry into her abilities as guardian. In November, Commissioner Rachelle Anderson, the Superior Court’s authority over guardian matters, gave

Safe Haven Guardianship Services control of Richie’s estate and finances (which Behrens did not object to). Anderson also assigned a court representative, called a guardian ad litem, to investigate Richie’s recent spiral. “It appeared his mother, the guardian of the person, had no real handle on where Mr. Hoisington was,” she writes, “and that is far from ideal in any given guardian ... situation, and quite alarming in this particular case.”

C

ourt records indicate Richie transferred to Eastern State on Feb. 10. He was initially kept in isolation and only later allowed into a secured unit; his behavior has fluctuated wildly. Guardian ad Litem James Woodard met with Richie and hospital staff in March, records show, after his temperament had calmed. “He was oriented, articulate and outgoing,” Woodard reports. Mental health professionals offered a variety of conflicting views on his status. Some found him competent and amiable, while others considered him threatening. One staff member reports Richie first seemed fairly sharp and cooperative, but she later came to believe he was “covering” his issues through a convincing performance. Eastern State officials declined a request from the Inlander to visit Richie, saying privacy law prevented them from even confirming his presence. Woodard later reported Richie expressed a strong animosity toward his mother. He no longer wanted a guardian of any kind. Behrens says she has not been al-

Family photos of Richie Hoisington lowed to visit Richie since August, arguing he likely feels abandoned. Behrens contends Woodard’s guardian report misrepresented many issues, calling it “character assassination,” alleging he deliberately slanted testimony against her. She argues that Safe Haven wants full guardianship, but will not have the time or resources to monitor Richie as closely as she can. No one else will put in the effort she has to make sure he’s safe. “If they could get me out of the picture,” she says, “Richie will no longer be protected.” Josh Guthmueller, a full-time guardian with Safe Haven, says the agency has no concerns whatsoever about its ability to manage and monitor someone like Richie. They serve many severely incapacitated individuals. “We are a professional guardian,” he says. “That’s what we do. … We have some difficult clients.” Richie started acting out again in April, according to the latest report available. His behavior was decompensating. “He is isolating himself, not making eye contact, laughing to himself and drawing swastikas on his arms,” the report states. “[These] are either signs of psychosis or a response to stress. … He still does not want to see his mother.”

L

eaning lightly into her cane, Behrens steps before the court on June 5, almost a year after Richie’s release from Stevens County set both their lives spiraling. She pulls court records and file folders from her bag, spreading them over the table in front of her. Wood-

ard, in a gray blazer, sits across the aisle as Commissioner Anderson takes up the case. Woodard stands to present a summary of his findings. He says Richie is a “difficult one to calibrate,” noting the many conflicting reports and his unpredictable shifting from positive to negative temperaments. “He’s being somewhat uncooperative with treatment,” Woodard says. But the guardian ad litem notes he has found only one real consistency with Richie. “He doesn’t want his mother to be his guardian,” Woodard says. “Ms. Behrens really micromanages him and that’s probably to his detriment. … My recommendation is to remove her as guardian.” As Woodard sits, Anderson thanks him for the report and turns to Behrens, noting she has filed a “very lengthy bit of information.” Behrens explains much of the material involves sworn statements contradicting the guardian report. She holds up several statements, arguing Woodard’s report was incomplete and deliberately biased against her. “I am not trying to micromanage my son,” she argues. “What I am trying to do is keep him safe.” As Behrens continues to criticize the report, Anderson interjects, noting the report confirms many of the concerns the court expressed last fall when Behrens did not know where Richie was. Anderson says the guardian must “have a handle” on the individual and monitor his well-being. “You will always be his mother,” Anderson then says. “You will always be an advocate for him, involved in his life. But as the guardian of his person, that is a much different role than as his parent, and it appears that, based on … Mr. Woodard’s investigation, my initial concerns seem to be verified. You are not an appropriate person to act as Richie’s guardian from here forward.” Behrens starts to object, but Anderson stops her. Behrens sits motionless, her hands flat on the table, but Richie’s father rises in protest. “I feel you’re being blinded,” he says quietly. “I’m sorry, your honor.” Anderson reminds them she has her own responsibilities to protect Richie. She then orders the removal of Behrens as guardian of Richie’s person, effective immediately, and names Safe Haven as his new guardian. If Behrens wishes to contact Safe Haven, the order says she must do so in writing. Behrens says she plans to appeal. “You may do so,” Anderson says. “I’m sure you know that process.” “Yes,” Behrens responds, “I do.”

I

n the hallway outside the courtroom, Behrens shakes her head. Her desperate push to get Richie into a new treatment program may have come at the cost of her relationship with him. All his personal decisions will now go through Safe Haven. She does not have to be notified of his status. She may not be able to visit him. “My son has been effectively kidnapped,” she says. Behrens still holds hope that Richie will be allowed the freedom to live a meaningful life. She dreams of his returning to work with her animals, a job he always enjoyed. She has filed an appeal for a revision of the court’s decision. She plans to fight to stay a part of his care. She feels betrayed by the system. “No parent should have to go through so much to get their child the help they need,” she says. “If they’ve done this to me, they’ve obviously done this to others. … They’ve done everything they can to keep Richie and I apart.” When Richie was a baby, no one would take him, she says. Everyone gave up on him, but not her. She doesn’t plan to start now. The next hearing is set for early July. “I am totally devoted to Richie,” she says. “I would give my life for him.” n jacobj@inlander.com

JUNE 19, 2014 INLANDER 21


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O

n Feb. 2, 1996, a 14-year-old student walked into Frontier Middle School in Moses Lake, Wash. He left in handcuffs, but not before killing two fellow students and a teacher. With so many other high-profile mass shootings since, Barry Loukaitis’ name may have largely fallen out of the public consciousness. For me, his name has stuck. It’s the first school shooting I remember hearing about ANALYSIS on the news (myself a middle THE LEADING EDGE school student at the time, 60 miles away). The list of offenders goes on: Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris (Columbine High School), Jared Loughner (Tucson, Arizona, and Congresswoman Gabby Giffords), Seung-Hui Cho (Virginia Tech), James Holmes (Aurora, Colorado, movie theater). Then there’s Adam Lanza. Sandy Hook Elementary School, Newtown, Connecticut, Dec. 14, 2012. Closer to home, this week marks 20 years

since Dean Mellberg killed four people and wounded 22 at Fairchild Air Force Base, reminding people in the Inland Northwest that such events can happen anywhere. (See story on p. 24.) The anniversary comes on the heels of shootings at Seattle Pacific University and Reynolds High School in Troutdale, Oregon. Journalists, it seems, sadly have numerous opportunities to report on such events.

TO NAME OR NOT TO NAME?

After every high-profile shooting or act of violence, a debate ensues about whether news outlets should refrain from naming the perpetrators, lest they encourage other people who are seeking perverse infamy. After Sandy Hook, sociologist Zeynep Tufekci, writing in The Atlantic, implored the news media to stop “inspiring copycat killers” by reporting so quickly and heavily on details of the perpetrator. The reasoning, she argued, is that such coverage should be treated like suicide and reported with extreme caution. Many news


outlets in the past 30 years have restricted or rarely reported on suicide, out of fear of inspiring others. “I am increasingly concerned that the tornado of media coverage that swirls around each such mass killing, and the acute interest in the identity and characteristics of the shooter — as well as the detailed and sensationalist reporting of the killer’s steps just before and during the shootings — may be creating a vicious cycle of copycat effects similar to those found in teen and other suicides,” Tufekci wrote. That debate doesn’t happen in a vacuum, nor does it fall on deaf ears. This question of whether or how much of a killer’s details to report rages on in journalistic circles. Sun News Network in Canada recently refused to report the name of a suspect accused of killing three police officers. Writing about Sun News’ justification for the Poynter Institute, a school for journalists, Al Tompkins said he understood the desire not to inspire copycat killers, but explained the obligation journalists have to reporting truth and explain motives, however twisted they are. “Sun News correctly points out that sometimes news events inspire copycats,” Tompkins wrote. “But who among us would suggest journalists should not have identified and investigated everything there was to know about the 9/11 hijackers? The wall-to-wall coverage of the Boston Marathon bombing has not lead to copycat bombings; the coverage of the horrific Oklahoma City federal courthouse bombing didn’t lead to similar terrorism.” The important thing, Tompkins notes, is not the simple fact of reporting a killer’s name or his motives, but rather its treatment or prominence, and how that’s balanced with reporting on and memorializing victims.

Journalistic ethics: not an oxymoron

It’s no secret that journalists have a tough time currying public favor. Surveys such as a 2013 inquiry from polling firm Gallup rate reporters (“TV” and “newspaper”) with lawyers in their level of honesty and ethics. Only advertisers, politicians, car salesmen and lobbyists ranked lower. Believe it or not, ethics are a very serious and integral part of journalism. Though based on how journalists are often perceived in public opinion polls, it’s not surprising if people think “journalistic ethics” is an oxymoron. When shooting (or any other “news”) events occur, outlets everywhere (from the local TV station to CNN to the Huffington Post) decide what to report and how to do it ethically — or at least that’s the hope. Industry organizations such as the Society of Professional Journalists (for which I work) try to educate journalists and the public about the importance of ethical reporting. The SPJ Code of Ethics is one of the go-to resources in journalism regarding ethical standards. But the SPJ Code, and any number of similar ethical guides, comes with two inherent conflicts. First, journalism ethics aren’t legally enforceable because of the broad protections afforded the press by the Constitution. Nor is SPJ (or other journalism trade groups in the U.S.) a policing or enforcement body. When journalists act in an unethical manner, there is no license to revoke or governing organization to prevent the transgressor from further work, as is the case with doctors and lawyers. Public scrutiny is

sometimes the only (and best) response. Second, journalism ethics codes are not a rulebook of what you can and cannot do, but rather a resource for making ethical and defensible decisions. And those guidelines can seemingly contradict each other. Take, for example, the first pillar of SPJ’s Code of Ethics, which implores journalists to “seek truth and report it.” Contrast that with the second section, which admonishes journalists to “minimize harm.” Those two concepts, “seek truth and report it” and “minimize harm,” result in this balancing act in reporting on news events as complicated as shootings and other tragedies. How can journalists minimize harm done to victims and communities affected by mass shootings if, at the same time, they are seeking and reporting the truth — which includes difficult details about the perpetrator?

Just a ‘commodity’?

Journalists covering the aftermath of recent killings at the University of California-Santa Barbara in Isla Vista saw that tension up close. While covering the story, photographers and TV reporters encountered residents, many of them college students, holding signs such as “News Crews Go Home” and “Stop Filming Our Tears.” The response of journalists is sometimes to circle the wagons, to say that we’re just doing our jobs, which includes reporting on tragedy — and on who perpetrated the crimes. But even when reporting on tragic events in a breaking and developing situation, journalists should keep another point in mind from the SPJ Code of Ethics: “Show good taste. Avoid pandering to lurid curiosity.” Is it “pandering to lurid curiosity” to stay in a community and show so vividly the tears of grief-stricken students while they ask you not to? Is it insensitive? Another sign directed at journalists in Isla Vista put it more bluntly: “Our Tragedy is Not Your Commodity.” It’s easy to respond that we’re just reporting the news and nothing else, not making a quick buck off of your tears. However, those pictures can be seen on numerous news websites. For example, the Los Angeles Times has a photo slide show of many images from memorial services. To scroll through the slide show, users must click past dedicated advertisements to continue. “Commodity” suddenly sounds like an apt descriptor.

Remaining scars

Long after the TV crews leave town, the memory of how those events were covered by the news media will persist. It’s important for the public to remind the news media how reporting in the face of tragedy can affect them. After all, the final point of the SPJ Code of Ethics is for journalists to “be accountable.” In that vein, journalists are told they should: “Encourage the public to voice grievances against the news media” and “Abide by the same high standards to which they hold others.” That’s a lesson worth remembering long after the name of any notorious killer fades from the headlines. n Scott A. Leadingham is director of education for the Society of Professional Journalists and editor of its magazine, Quill.

JUNE 19, 2014 INLANDER 23


06.20.94

not one more

Twenty years ago, a disgruntled former airman takes a taxicab to Fairchild Air Force Base. He kills four people and injures 22 others. His rampage ends in less than 10 minutes. The nightmares last for years.

BY DEANNA PAN


Retired Staff Sgt. Andy Brown is working on a book about the Fairchild rampage. YOUNG KWAK PHOTO

J

UNE 20, 1994 — This is how it all ends: Four gunshots as steady as a heartbeat. Pop, pop, pop, pop. The third hits Dean Mellberg in his left shoulder, just a superficial wound. The fourth strikes square between his eyes. The blast sends his body soaring, feet splayed, straight into the air, like a stuntman’s in a movie. He spins counterclockwise and lands on his back in the grass, his left hand still gripping the stock of his rifle. Seventy yards away, Senior Airman Andy Brown lowers his handgun, a military-issued Beretta M9. Brown gets up from where he’s kneeling and dashes for cover behind a small pickup parked across from the base hospital. “Don’t move!” he shouts. When backup arrives, the medics rush to revive the man in the grass. They don’t know who he is or what he did. They don’t know how many lives he ended or how many people he hurt. The radio dispatcher alerts all

patrols to a possible second gunman. Someone had called to report a sniper on a nearby building. Brown scans the roof, his sidearm drawn, as medics declare the gunman dead on the scene. Meanwhile, in the hospital dining hall, 15-yearold Melissa Moe hides underneath a sink in a pool of her own blood, breathing hard, waiting for help. She’s cradling 5-year-old Janessa Zucchetto in one hand. The other clutches her right thigh. This is it, Melissa thinks. I’m going to die.

T

he gunman’s story is a familiar one: Twenty years ago, Dean Mellberg, a disgruntled former airman, returned to Spokane armed with a MAK-90 assault rifle, the civilian version of an AK-47, and a 75-round drum. He arrived by taxi at Fairchild Air Force Base hospital with a murderous vendetta against the doctors he believed had slighted him — psychiatrist Thomas Brigham and psychologist Alan London. A year earlier,

they had evaluated Mellberg, determined he was dangerous and recommended his discharge. After 10 minutes of hell, four people and one woman’s unborn child are dead and 22 are injured. Their lives and those of countless others — first responders who rescued victims, witnesses who attempted to save the dying, survivors who are left burying their friends — are forever changed. For years, they bear the weight of survival. Some of their scars are physical, but many are hidden in mental health diagnoses: Depression. Anxiety. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. Even after they grow up, start families and embark on new careers, they’re reminded of that day whenever fireworks light up a sky, or when another mass shooting devastates another community somewhere else in the country. They may not know the people of Littleton, Newtown, Isla Vista, Seattle or Fort Hood, but they know ...continued on next page on page 26 JUNE ...continued 19, 2014 INLANDER 25


FAIRCHILD | 20 YEARS LATER

THE GUNMAN’S RAMPAGE

4. He fatally shoots Christin McCarron, 8, in the cafeteria. Melissa Moe, 15, and Janessa Zucchetto, 5, are wounded.

At about 2:45 pm, Dean Mellberg, 20, arrived by taxi at the entrance of the Fairchild Air Force Base hospital carrying a black duffel bag and Styrofoam case. Inside the bathroom at the hospital annex, he assembled his MAK-90 assault rifle. In less than 10 minutes, he kills 4 people and wounds 22 others.

3. After leaving the annex, Mellberg fires at several people in the parking lot and main lobby of the hospital, near the pharmacy.

HOSPITAL

1. Mellberg is dropped off at the main doors of the hospital.

5. Mellberg exists the hospital and fires at random. He kills civilian Anita Lindner, 39, in the parking lot.

N

2. He mortally wounds psychologist Alan London, 40, in his office. He then kills psychiatrist Thomas Brigham, 31.

ANNEX

6. His shooting spree ends when he is shot by Andy Brown, a security policeman, from 70 yards away.

GRAHAM ROAD CHRIS BOVEY ILLUSTRATION

“NOT ONE MORE,” CONTINUED... something of their grief — and of the search for meaning in senseless violence. Three months after the Fairchild shooting, Congress would pass an assault weapons ban that included the weapon Mellberg used. Ten years later, lawmakers let the ban expire. Now, 20 years after the Fairchild shooting, they know what it’s like to be forgotten when the next tragedy strikes. Time, they’ve learned, only heals so much.

J

UNE 20, 1994, EARLIER — The hospital pharmacy is packed. The wait is at least 20 minutes, and there are hardly any open seats. But when you make a doctor’s appointment at the base, you don’t cancel it, so now, on this sweltering Monday afternoon, Melissa Moe’s entire family is here in the pharmacy waiting room — Dad, Mom, little sister Kelly, plus the four kids she and Kelly are babysitting for the summer.

ARE YOU PREPARED FOR GRAD SCHOOL? 26 INLANDER JUNE 19, 2014

Melissa is 15, blonde and typical in the way teenagers long to be. She goes to Shadle Park High School. She’s on the drill team. She plays softball and dates boys. Today’s the first day of her first “big kid” job — nannying the Zucchetto kids, Janessa and Anthony, ages 5 and 4 — and she’s living with their family all summer in Mead. She has brand-new clothes packed in her suitcase at the Zucchettos’ place. That morning, she picked out the cutest outfit from the bunch: a white eyelet tank top and pair of jean shorts from the Gap. Minutes ago, she had managed to convince a dermatologist, a short man in a dark exam room, that she didn’t need any skin tags removed — at least not today, because she was scared it would hurt. Pop. Pop. Melissa has Janessa in her lap and Anthony on the floor the beside her, rolling his favorite toy, a Thomas the Tank Engine train, across her knee. Her father,

Dennis Moe, who works in weapons storage at the base, is standing next to her, staring out two sets of glass double doors that lead into the parking lot. When he hears the popping noise, he turns and looks at his family, his face ashen and swept with panic. Twenty years later, it’s a look Melissa can’t forget. Pop. Pop. In the corner of the pharmacy, a man sits on a rubbery, mauve chair facing the wall. A TV mounted above him blasts a cheesy daytime talk show. Melissa had been watching him earlier. She thought he looked peculiar, bobbing his head side to side while he read, oblivious to the traffic in the pharmacy and the volume of the TV. (Only later does she realize he’s deaf.) Suddenly, between his legs, the wall explodes. Pieces of splintered glass scatter across the floor. Her father shouts. “Oh my god — he’s got a gun! Everybody run!”

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T

he first shot sounds like a car backfiring. After the second shot, he hears a woman scream. Stuart Heberlein is in his supervisor’s office at the dental clinic, entering data into the computer, scheduling teeth cleanings, root canals and cavities. The door is open. The air conditioning is turned up, but barely working. Heberlein, 24, is the Periodic Dental Exam Program monitor on base. When the intercom announces that a gunman is in the hospital, that Dr. Brigham and Dr. London are down, Heberlein turns to another dental assistant at the clinic. “Grab some oxygen,” he says. Heberlein finds a bag valve mask, and together the two sprint across the parking lot toward the hospital annex, Building 9010, where London and Brigham worked in the Mental Health Unit. “Get your heads down!” Heberlein’s supervisor yells from the door of the dental clinic. When they arrive, another dentist from the clinic is already in Brigham’s office, performing CPR. Brigham is lying on his back on the floor, unconscious, as the dentist applies chest compressions and Heberlein starts mouth-to-mouth. But nothing’s working. Brigham is dying. Heberlein presses his palms into the stricken man’s ribs. His chest feels like broken glass. Save him, Heberlein tells himself. Please save him.

A

barrage of 911 and non-emergency calls flood the base’s Law Enforcement Desk. The alarm in the emergency room sounds. The phones lines ring simultaneously. The calls come in for hours. Crime Stop. Reporting a crime or an emergency? Emergency crime! There’s a guy in the hospital running around with a shotgun. Copy, alright. We’re sending somebody over. Crime Stop. Reporting a crime or an emergency? Yeah, this is [REDACTED] in housekeeping... Two people got shot in the dining hall in the hospital. One of my housekeepers just notified me. OK. I’m gonna put you on hold for one second... Holy shit.

I

t’s like a bad dream. You’re reaching out, arm stretched as far it’ll go, trying desperately to grab hold of someone you love, but your fingertips barely graze hers. Melissa reaches for Janessa, but in an instant, they’re separated. She grabs Anthony, but he’s torn from her hands. A stampede of people have taken off through a set of doors and down a hallway on Melissa’s left. Some are trampled. Others are left behind. Melissa spots Janessa in the crowd and pulls her under her arm. They run, but they can’t seem to run fast enough. Indistinct screams fade into the chaos. All Melissa can hear are the gunshots reverberating through the hallway, erupting on the walls. She con-

centrates on the carpet. It’s bluish, like a dark bruise. Melissa sees her mother hiding behind a coffee cart, dragging her sister Kelly beside her. This is an exercise, just a base exercise, she thinks. They shove through another set of doors. Now green tile covers the floor. They’re in the dining hall. Melissa spots 8-year-old Christin McCarron, the little girl her sister is babysitting, and tells her to hide. Christin crawls underneath the dish table. That’s when Melissa turns around. That’s when she sees him. For a moment, they’re face to face. He’s standing with his gun at his hip, 20 feet behind her, aiming right at Janessa. This isn’t a drill. This is real. As Melissa pushes Janessa away from the gunman’s sights, she’s struck with a burning pain, unlike anything she’s ever felt before. When she looks down, she can see inside her entire leg: muscles, tissue, and bone. She drags herself across the tile, Janessa still tucked under her arm, and underneath the kitchen sink. Blood pools at her side. Bullets whiz by, chipping away at the ceramic sink. Janessa’s sobbing now. “It itches!” she cries. Her neck is red and torn. Melissa tells Janessa that she’s been shot. Hold on to the pipe, she says, and squeeze tight. “We’re going to play hide-and-seek from the bad guy,” Melissa remembers saying. “We’re going to stay here and we’re going to be as quiet as we possibly can.”

A

ndy Brown hears the radio call shortly after 3 pm, a little more than an hour into his shift. He’s 24 and a policeman with the 92nd Air Force Security Police Squadron. Today is his second day on bike patrol. The afternoon is hot; his legs are tired. Moments ago, he arrived at the back-gate shack for some cool air and a bit of rest. Most days, radio traffic is quiet. On a busier day, he might respond to a drunk driving incident or car accident, break up a bar fight or a domestic dispute, or arrest a shoplifter. When folks leave their keys inside their cars, he picks the locks with a slim jim. He spent the first hour of his shift pedaling through a housing development on base, waving at passersby enjoying a cloudless summer day. The hospital is about a third of a mile away, down a two-lane asphalt road. Brown pedals hard and fast. Dozens of cars coming from the hospital stream past him. A military dump truck rolls by, filled with people standing in the dump bed and clinging onto the sides. They wave their arms wildly and yell something urgent, but Brown can’t hear what they’re saying. Time is passing in slow motion and everything is quiet, like swimming underwater through a dense and briny sea. As he nears the hospital campus, Brown can hear gunshots ricocheting off the sides of the buildings. ...continued on next page

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(509) 325-1620 JUNE 19, 2014 INLANDER 27


FAIRCHILD | 20 YEARS LATER

Melissa Moe, right, and her partner Jessica Cochran. Moe was wounded after gunman Dean Mellberg shot her at Fairchild Air Force Base on June 20, 1994.

YOUNG KWAK PHOTO

“NOT ONE MORE,” CONTINUED... “Where is he?” he yells. Before he entered the military, Brown had never seriously thought about taking a life to defend himself or anyone else. He grew up in an old farmhouse in Port Orchard, Wash., shooting pine cones with a lever-action BB gun, the kind of kid who’d rescue a wayward spider instead of killing it. At Lackland Air Force Base in Texas, he learned to recite the Air Force’s Security Police Creed by heart. (“I am a security policeman. I hold allegiance to my country, devotion to duty, and personal integrity above all.”) He learned you only use deadly force against a target who’s demonstrated an intent to kill. Up ahead, Brown sees a man in dark clothes walking toward him on the road, a long gun at his hip. The man fires to his left at the hospital, to his right at a row of military houses. Brown coasts up a sidewalk ramp, jumps off his bike and kneels on the pavement. He draws his sidearm and takes aim with both hands. He has 15 rounds in his gun and another 15 in a spare magazine. The effective range of his Beretta M9 is just over 50

yards, half the length of a football field, but to hit a target with any accuracy, most troops are trained to shoot from half that distance. He doesn’t know it, but Brown is at least 65 yards away. “Police!” he yells. “Drop your weapon! Put it down!”

A

man and woman in military fatigues find Melissa’s trail of blood in the kitchen. They cut off her brand-new clothes and carry her out of the dining hall on a stretcher while she watches first responders cover 8-year-old Christin McCarron’s body with a sheet. “Where’s my mom? Where’s my dad?” Melissa screams. “Where’s Anthony?” They pass her mother in the hallway, lying on her back on the carpet near the coffee stand, her head turned to the side. They’re cutting off her clothes, too. “It’s gonna be OK, Melissa,” she says. “It’s gonna be OK.” The man who rescued her tells Melissa to call him “Sergeant T.” At first, she had mistaken him for the gunman. When he found her, she kicked him and screamed. Sergeant T has a tan, kind face and large, warm hands.

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He looks scared, like he wants to cry, but instead he tells Melissa to “squeeze as tight as you want.” So she holds his hand going up the elevator and through the hallway and in the patient room, even while she receives a catheter and he stands outside a closed curtain. He feels like home, and she’s never felt safer. “I promise I’m not going to leave until they tell me I have to,” she remembers him saying. Sergeant T has to convince Melissa to pull her other hand out of her leg. She endures the worst pain she’s ever felt all over again. He takes her outside where ambulances are waiting. The hospital grounds look like a war scene. White sheets and blood are everywhere. She’s scared she might be alone. Melissa wakes up in Valley Hospital, surrounded by doctors and nurses in masks and gowns. She’s in the Intensive Care Unit for three weeks, but she’s in and out of doctors’ offices for the rest of the summer. When she starts school in the fall, she’s the only girl in her class with a colostomy bag tucked into the waistband of her jeans. She’s the girl who got shot, who wakes up bawling

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in the middle of the night and can’t sleep alone. Everyone in her family was wounded. These days, it feels like they’re barely surviving.

T

hat night, Brown hears the details of the shooting for the first time while watching the 11 o’clock news. He’s staying in the guest bedroom at his supervisor’s place in a mobile home park off base, and he can’t sleep. Every time he closes his eyes, he sees the gunman walking toward him, his body flung backwards and collapsing on the ground. Over and over and over again. So Brown watches each hour of the clock go by. Startled by every noise outside, he climbs out of bed and peeks through the window. He hasn’t slept well ever since. Ten days later, Brown is awarded the Airman’s Medal, the Air Force’s highest peacetime honor. He’s lauded as a hero in newspapers, Rotary Clubs and military bases. But Brown doesn’t like the attention. Nor does he care for the praise when innocent people lost their lives that day and dozens of others were hurt. Brown is different now. He’s hyper-alert all the time, anxious and depressed, overwhelmed by crowds and withdrawn. The military offers him counseling, but he declines to go through with it when he realizes he’d have to turn in his weapon. He doesn’t want to be relegated to the “rubber gun list” of cops who can’t be trusted with their sidearms. So every night, he buys a pack of whatever’s cold and cheap, locks all the doors in his home, and numbs his anxiety with a few cans of beer. Things only get worse for Brown when he’s transferred to Hickam Air Force Base in Hawaii in 1995. He was told it would be beautiful there, that he could meet a girl, but all Brown sees is crime and crowds. The shooting is always on his mind. The bullet holes in the walls of the hospital. The shell casings on the floor. The metallic smell of blood in the hallways and dining

hall. He thinks about the people who died and were wounded while he rushed to the scene. Again, he visits with a counselor. Again, his weapon’s pulled and he’s relieved of duty. So Brown gets his gun back and quits therapy, and wonders how many lives he could have saved if he just would have arrived a second or two earlier. At Kirtland Air Force Base in New Mexico, Brown’s temper spirals out of control. He throws chairs in the interrogation room while interviewing suspects; hurls case files; kicks the walls in his office and slams his computer keyboard with his fist. In 1999, he makes an appointment with a base psychologist and is diagnosed with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. They meet for several months, but for Brown, it’s too late. Nothing seems to be helping. He requests a medical discharge. He wants to go back home.

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he Air Force needs dental workers in Europe, so Heberlein volunteers to transfer to Germany. Six weeks later, in March of 1995, he’s at Spangdahlem Air Base, inexplicably angry, listless and afraid to fall asleep. He has variations of the same nightmares almost every night. He dreams of crashing aircraft and smoldering ruins. Sometimes he’s in a combat zone with a weapon that can’t fire. The enemy approaches — his gun raised — and Heberlein pulls a limp trigger. He wakes up before he’s shot. Heberlein tells his boss something’s wrong. He goes to see the psychologist on base who diagnoses Heberlein with PTSD and recommends counseling. But Heberlein doesn’t go. He doesn’t think he needs it. He thinks he’s going to be strong. Therapy is just a bunch of hocus-pocus, anyway. Four years later, Heberlein is honorably discharged. Two weeks before he leaves Spangdahlem, he ...continued on next page

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FAIRCHILD | 20 YEARS LATER

Stuart Heberlein watches his son try out for a baseball team at Chief Garry Park. Heberlein tried to resuscitate a doctor mortally wounded during the 1994 shooting.

YOUNG KWAK PHOTO

“NOT ONE MORE,” CONTINUED... walks downstairs from the dental clinic and asks to see his medical records. He flips through his file until he finds the sheet signed by the base psychologist — the one that says he’s showing signs of PTSD. Heberlein takes it out, makes a copy and promptly loses them both, so no one will ever know.

M

elissa starts seeing her therapist, Jill, shortly after the shooting. One afternoon, when she’s 17, they go to Laser Quest downtown together and Jill asks for a private game. “Don’t turn on the lights,” she tells the employees. “I want it to feel real.” Jill shows her how the vests work, how they vibrate when you’re shot. She tells Melissa she’s going to shoot her and asks Melissa to shoot her back. But inside the maze, Melissa struggles to breathe. It’s dark. Lights are flashing. The air is filled with artificial smoke. Someone could walk around the corner any minute, armed with a real weapon. She drops to her knees in tears. “That could happen anywhere. Not just here. You know that,” Jill says. “You need to trust that I’m not here to hurt you and you’re not here to hurt me. That’s what we’re learning.”

Make the Shot.

The next five minutes feel like five hours, but Melissa plays laser tag with her therapist. A small part of her feels like a kid again. Two years later, for one of their last sessions, they meet at the hospital parking lot on base. They walk through the pharmacy holding hands. They read a backlit plaque memorializing the dead. Melissa lets her fingers trace the walls. On June 20, 2001, the seven-year anniversary of the shooting, Melissa’s daughter Hailie is born. The doctor tells her she’ll never see that day the same way again. “You need to look at this,” he says of her baby, “like a blessing from God.”

B

rown meets a young woman named Rhonda Strong in Spokane. She’s 20, a military buddy’s niece, sweet, pretty and gentle. She asks Brown out. Three years later, they marry. They have two children. But their household is tense. Brown drinks a lot. He’s always on edge. She tells Brown he needs “to crawl out of your hole.” So with his wife’s encouragement, he tries anything he can to get better — antidepressants, exercise, diet, meditation and acupuncture. But everything

just feels like a Band-Aid. Brown figures he’s a lost cause. After 14 years and multiple Freedom of Information Act requests, Brown’s persistence finally pays off. He receives a digital copy in the mail of the base’s radio transmissions from the day of the shooting. He listens to the tapes and calculates his response time: Less than two minutes. He forgives himself a little for that. In 2010, Brown enrolls in two new programs offered by Spokane’s Department of Veteran Affairs. One is called “cognitive processing therapy.” The other is “prolonged exposure therapy.” They change the way Brown views other people, their actions and the shooting itself. He no longer feels anxious at the shopping mall. Getting cut off in traffic isn’t a personal affront. He learns to be empathetic, to trust others again, to breathe deeply when he’s feeling overwhelmed. The world isn’t full of assholes, just people, making mistakes and doing the best they can. Brown is working on a book about the shooting and the gunman’s troubled past. He scours stacks of police reports and witness statements. He creates a Facebook page for survivors and interviews dozens of them. He learns that their experiences following the shooting aren’t

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too different from his own. He writes on a laptop at the library, or Petit Chat bakery, or on the weekends at the border patrol office where he works as a dispatcher. For him, writing the book is a form of immersion therapy. His first chapter begins with a radio call and gunfire. He later writes about his struggles with PTSD. He’s not sure if he’s found the perfect beginning yet, but he has a happy ending in mind. “I’ll never be the same as I was before the shooting,” Brown says. “I’ll never be normal like I was before, but I found a new normal and life is a lot more worth living now.”

I

n September of 2009, Melissa marries a man named Bobby. He’s a friend of a friend who kept coming around for years, and her girls need a dad. They have a simple church wedding in Spokane Valley. She wears a white strapless dress; he rents a tux. Dinner is served potluck style. Her father’s cancer is in remission, but he’s too sick to attend. So minutes before the ceremony, Melissa’s maid of honor looks at a photo on Facebook and pulls aside a man from the pew wearing a polo shirt and slacks. Melissa asks him if he’ll give her away. It’s the first time she’s met Andy Brown in person. “Of course,” he says, “but I need a jacket!” eberlein doesn’t have those nightmares “You’re fine,” she says. “It’s just an honor to anymore. He used to run a lot. That have you by my side.” seemed to help. Mostly he just tries to Melissa divorces Bobby less than a year later. forget. She’d been in love with her best friend all along. He doesn’t like to talk about what hapShe met Jessica Cochran, her partner, when they pened, either — particularly with his three young were volunteering for their daughters’ parentchildren. He’s not ready, and anyway, they know teacher organization. There had been whispers enough about mass shootings because their about whether they were a couple or not. Now schools have to prepare them for one, just in case. the whispers are true. His children’s knowledge of the Fairchild Cochran teaches Melissa how to “feel norshooting is contained on two sheets of cardstock mal” again. “We’re not going to use this medicine in a scrapbook alongside old photos of his milianymore,” she tells her one day. “You don’t need tary career. Heberlein’s Air Force Achievement this. Let’s just try.” So Melissa gradually weans Medal — a silver, milk-cap-sized medallion with herself off the antidepressants and antianxiety a gray-and-blue-striped ribbon — is glued inside pills. Within six months, she can cry when she with a certificate commending his “high wants to cry; she can feel degree of courage and professionalism,” when she wants to feel. She’s “heroic effort” and “quick and selfless acRead an analysis of media happier now than she’s been tions.” Heberlein laughs at it now. Everyone since she was at least 15 coverage of recent mass serving in the 92nd Medical Group was years old. She finally has the shootings, p. 22. awarded one, even those who weren’t on family she’s always wanted. base that day. Melissa isn’t angry at the “I just think it’s funny,” he says. “It’s like man with the gun anymore. “He was sick,” she being on the Oprah show. You get an Achievement says. “He had something wrong inside. SomeAward! You get an Achievement Award!” thing happened to him that made him do what Every night, in his home at the end of a he did.” cul-de-sac in Veradale, Wash., Heberlein inspects But compassion hasn’t been easy. Every day, the locks on all the doors. He sleeps lightly and she has to face her forgiveness when she looks at wakes to every creak in the floorboards, every herself in the mirror. She doesn’t recognize her tiny footstep. Usually it’s his youngest son, body. It’s someone else’s. Something someone Owen, crawling into bed with Mom and Dad made. A cruel portrait by a twisted artist. because he had a bad dream. “I’m pieced together. This is what he left,” she Heberlein has learned to expect anything at says. “But I’m still here, and he isn’t.” any moment. At the grocery store. At a coffee One scar stretches from the bottom of her shop. At the oral surgery office in North Spokane sternum to her pelvic region. Another meanders where he works. Every day he wonders: If someone down her inner right thigh; a third crosses her walks in here with a weapon and starts shooting, what knee. A wide stripe of bubbly pink skin trails am I going to do? below her belly button. That’s where she was “That’s the funny thing about it,” he says, opened up twice for surgery in the year and a cracking an ironic smile. “You don’t know when half following the shooting. But Cochran reminds somebody is going to go crazy.” Melissa she’s beautiful — scars and all. n

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Jon Lutyens (right) anchors a stellar cast in Interplayers’ production of The Foreigner. HAMILTON STUDIOS PHOTO

THEATER

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Why everyone should be talking about Interplayers’ production of The Foreigner BY E.J. IANNELLI

T

here’s a certain vulnerability that comes with opening your mouth. Hence our Miranda rights, or the memorable World War II adage, “Loose lips sink ships.” And then there’s the familiar quote, apocryphally attributed to Abe Lincoln, “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and to remove

all doubt.” Charlie Baker, the protagonist in Interplayers’ production of The Foreigner, is all too aware of that kind of vulnerability. When the retiring Englishman (Jon Lutyens) arrives at a fishing lodge in rural Georgia, he confides to his old Royal Army buddy “Froggy” (Patrick

Treadway, with an accent from the Dick Van Dyke School of Cockney) that he’d rather not talk to anyone — not merely out of grief for his dying wife back home, but also because he fears himself to be a crashing bore. It’s his acute lack of personality, he explains with handwringing demureness, that is likely to blame for his wife’s chronic infidelities. Froggy addresses both concerns by telling the provincial caretaker, Betty Meeks (Laurel Paxton), that Charlie is a foreigner who speaks and understands no English. She responds, as per expectation, by communicating with her new guest s-l-ow-ly and LOUDLY. Wary of offending, Charlie ends up encouraging her by affecting an uncomprehending idiot grin. The other guests, each as ludicrously corn-fed as Betty, have their own ways of interacting with the foreigner. Catherine Simms (Ana Gregoire), a recent debutante and ...continued on next page

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fiancée of Reverend David Marshall Lee (Zachary Magan), treats Charlie as the ideal confidant. Her simpleminded brother, Ellard (Phoenix Tage), takes a pedagogical, almost paternal role toward him. And belligerent redneck Owen Musser (Jonah Weston) contemptuously regards Charlie as a sad curiosity. Act one draws on the power of reticence. The less Charlie offers of himself, the more the others attribute to him. What little he does offer, aside from a stilted, “Thank you,” consists of physical comedy: hesitant nods, bemused eyebrows, childlike smiles, an uncomfortable grimace. In this regard, Lutyens is diminished somewhat by the muted colors of his clothes, his fair complexion, even his (intentional) charisma deficiency. He merges with set designer Aaron Dyszelski’s exquisite cabin interior like another pair of trophy antlers. That might complement his flyon-the-wall status, but without his features being better defined à la silent film, it makes it harder for Lutyens to project the requisite Chaplinesque expressions. Consequently the first act has a few lulls; it’s redeemed primarily by the electrifying menace of Weston’s Owen and Tage’s stooped, obliging Ellard, whose monkey-see, monkey-do shtick with Charlie gives Lutyens the most to work with. With farces and musicals, post-intermission acts tend to suffer from being a protracted (or, conversely, cursory) and predictable tying-up of the various loose ends introduced before the break. That’s not the case here; The Foreigner’s

second act is wonderfully solid. As Charlie comes out of his shell and reconciles himself with the advantages as well as the helplessness of his position, the comedy flourishes along with the suspense. A few gags are mined for the very last titter, but in general the implausibility never tips over into impossibility. At the same time, Gregoire effectively shifts her character from spoiled, foot-stomping belle to a confident young woman and credible romantic interest. Magan starts to reveal an unexpectedly sinister side, and Weston transforms into something unhinged and terrifying. The sublime irony of Larry Shue’s script is that Owen, and to some extent David, ultimately betrays himself through unnecessary talk, conveniently saving Charlie the awkwardness of having to confess his own ruse. Another one of the script’s strengths is its quiet breadcrumb trail of plot points. Though some of the broader turns of events are painted on a barn wall, there is seemingly throwaway dialogue that becomes relevant later. Shue’s clever and rounded script, faultless lighting and sets, some outstanding cast performances and Carrie Morgan’s able direction make this production one of the strongest in what’s been a very robust Interplayers season. n The Foreigner • Through June 28: Thu-Sat, 7:30 pm; Sun, 2 pm • $28 ($22 seniors, active military; $12 students) • Interplayers • 174 S. Howard • interplayerstheatre.org • 455-7529


CULTURE | DIGEST

ART BAZAAR with

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JUNE 26 7PM wanderlustcircus.com Bazaar wants people to buy their first piece of art, maybe this piece by Alyca Staggs.

I

f you want to support local art, start by putting it on your wall. That’s the philosophy Spokane artistic nonprofit Terrain is espousing with its first-ever Bazaar, a one-day juried art show featuring more than 50 artists, live music and more. With artists keeping their prices mostly below $100 (and keeping all of their sales), Terrain hopes Bazaar can encourage festivalgoers to invest in locally produced art, perhaps for the first time. “If we can make art accessible to people, and make the decision to buy your first piece of art easier, that can go a long way in the creative community,” says Luke Baumgarten, Terrain founder and Inlander commentator. The recent Spokane County Creative Vitality report showed the area’s artistic revenue falling far short of na-

tional averages. The Spokane area buys art from galleries or individual artists at a rate that’s just 36 percent of the national average. Sure, you could settle for that framed fruit-bowl print from a big-box store, but buying something from the artist themselves, who you can meet at a show like Bazaar, carries more impact, Baumgarten says. “The mindset about how people furnish their homes is changing. People want something with a story behind it,” he says. — MIKE BOOKEY

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SITE | After a stint in the New York Times newsroom, Nate Silver — the guy best known for predicting elections with math — returned to his blogging roots earlier this year with a relaunched FIVETHIRTYEIGHT. COM. It’s a little like Slate, but focused on numbers and actual facts. They’ve veered into some of the novelty data best left to other blogs — burrito brackets, for example — but for the most part they’ve made it a point to explain data sets and treat numbers seriously, even when applied to lighter topics. The strengths, though, are still the areas where Silver excels: sports and politics. Expect the site to hit its stride as midterm elections approach.

NOTEBOOK | Just a few years ago, Moleskine notebooks came only in black and had to be purchased at bookstores; now you can buy them in a rainbow of colors at Target. In other words, it’s time for people who make a habit of carrying small notebooks to find something more interesting. My favorite is FIELD NOTES, a collaboration between Portland-based Draplin Design and a small printing company in Chicago. Inspired by the tradition of agricultural memo books, they release limited editions every couple of months in new colors with themes like “County Fair” and “Lagers.” One edition this year had covers made of actual cherry wood.

TV | We now know Season 2 of GRAVITY FALLS is scheduled to premiere August 2. But even the date was long a mystery — one of many mysteries that fans have been obsessively discussing online since the first season of the Disney Channel cartoon ended last August. The show, created by Alex Hirsch, features twins Dipper and Mabel, who are spending the summer with their eccentric great uncle in a fictional backwoods town in Oregon. It makes winking allusions to Twin Peaks, that other great Northwest opus of weird, and it’s gathered a zealous audience of adults with its cryptozoological encounters, secret codes and promise of a much bigger mystery.

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ong before most professional sports gained a toehold in America, pro baseball arrived in the little city of Spokane Falls in 1890. Teams in Spokane Falls, Seattle, Tacoma and Portland formed the Northwestern League. The arrival of the railroad made it feasible to operate the Pacific Northwest’s first pro sports league. Today, the Spokane Indians play in the Northwest League, which dates back to 1955. The league has produced Hall of Fame players like the late Tony Gwynn (Walla Walla), Ozzie Smith (also Walla Walla), Reggie Jackson (Lewiston) and Rickey Henderson (Boise). Other notable Northwest League alumni include Ken Griffey Jr. (Bellingham), Felix Hernandez (Everett) and Ian Kinsler (Spokane). n

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10 TIDBITS ABOUT SPOKANE’S PROFESSIONAL BASEBALL PAST

1.

Pro baseball has been played at Avista Stadium (and its previous names) since 1958, when the Indians played in the Class AAA Pacific Coast League. The ballpark was constructed in barely three months when the PCL’s Los Angeles Angels sought a new home after the National League’s Brooklyn Dodgers moved to Los Angeles following the 1957 season.

2. 3. 4. 5.

Former major league infielder Tim Hulett, in his club-record eighth season as Indians manager, recently won his fifth state championship as a high school coach in Louisiana.

In 1989, Indians third baseman Dave Staton became the only Northwest League player to win the Triple Crown, leading the league in batting (.362), home runs (17) and runs batted in (72). Frank Howard, who spent part of the 1959 and ’60 seasons with Spokane, hit more major league home runs in a season (48) and career (382) than any other former Spokane player. Hall of Famer Don Sutton, who appeared in two games with the 1968 Indians, won more games in the majors (324) than any other former Spokane pitcher. Don Newcombe, who pitched for the 1961 Indians, set the single-season record of 27 major league wins by a pitcher who also threw for Spokane when he starred for the 1956 Brooklyn Dodgers.

6. 7.

The Indians, the short-season Class A affiliate of the Texas Rangers, have led the Northwest League in attendance a record 15 consecutive seasons.

Center fielder Willie Davis (1960) and Howard, a first baseman-outfielder (1959), won Minor League Player of the Year awards while playing for the Indians. Howard spent part of the ’59 season in the Texas League.

8.

Hall of Fame manager Tommy Lasorda guided the 1970 Indians to the PCL championship. Spokane’s roster included future major league standouts Steve Garvey, Bill Buckner, Bill Russell, Davey Lopes, Charlie Hough and Doyle Alexander.

9.

Maury Wills, a career minor leaguer before he learned to switch-hit in Spokane, won the National League’s Most Valuable Player award in 1962 when he set a major league record (since broken) with 104 stolen bases for the Los Angeles Dodgers.

10.

San Francisco manager Bruce Bochy, who won 2010 and 2012 World Series titles with the Giants, made his managerial debut with the 1989 Indians.  The Spokane Indians kick off a five-game series against the Boise Hawks on Sat, June 21, at 6:30 pm • Tickets at spokaneindians.com or 343-6886

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3128 E. 29th Ave. | www.29artworks.com parking in the lot to the east JUNE 19, 2014 INLANDER 37


IN THE VEGINNING At the first Spokane VegFest, you’ll get a bellyful, not an earful

T

his is more than a food festival. Yes, there will be food — tons of it. But Tessa Trow says that Spokane VegFest is more than that: it’s an opportunity, a chance to show people that their assumptions and judgments about vegans are wrong. “There’s always this joke: how do you know there’s a vegan in the room?” she says, pouring a cup of tea at her kitchen counter. The punch line? “They’ll tell you. “I don’t do that. If somebody starts a conversation with me, yeah, I’ll talk about it, I’ll answer questions.”

38 INLANDER JUNE 19, 2014

BY LEAH SOTTILE But she says she’s overly conscious not to be pushy. Trow is one of three leaders of a local group called INVeg, otherwise known as the Inland Northwest Vegan Society. They’re no ragtag group of hippies: in just six months, she and her fellow members have conceived and planned a daylong vegan festival — complete with more than 40 vendors, guest speakers, cooking demos, yoga classes and a belly-dancing show. They’re expecting 1,000 people to show up this year. In the past year, Trow says the group’s membership has exploded: monthly potlucks have turned

from gatherings around a table to giant affairs with nearly 100 people, all interested in sampling vegan food. Locally, there’s been a shift: vegan options — food completely devoid of meat and dairy — are available on most local menus. Spokane even has a downtown eatery, Boots Bakery & Lounge, that only serves vegan food. A 2011 study by the Vegetarian Resource Group found that 2.5 percent of people in the United States say they adhere to a vegan diet. More and more celebrities — from Bill Clinton to Bob Barker, Mike Tyson to Paul McCartney — have come out as vegans.


With so much increased interest in veganism, Trow is starting to wonder if that joke — poking fun at the pushy, judgmental vegan stereotype — is as irrelevant as a blonde joke. She points to Marshall, Texas: a tiny town with a massive annual vegan food festival, one that attracted the attention of the New York Times when its mayor went vegan and encouraged the town to try it, too. “They have one of the biggest vegfests in the country. In Texas!” Trow says. “And we thought, you know, if Marshall can do it — of all places — we can do it, and we can make this successful.” At Spokane VegFest this year, expect to leave with a full stomach and a ton of samples. Trow and her co-planners, Josh Meckel and Ron LeBrun, have signed on national companies including Tofurkey, Bob’s Red Mill, GoodBelly, Whole Soy & Co. and Larabar, as well as locals Victor’s Hummus, Huckleberry’s and Main Market Co-op. The group also is flying in some nationally known vegan personalities to speak at the festival. Ginny Kisch Messina — known as The Vegan RD and co-author of Vegan for Life — will answer questions about the health benefits of veganism. Activist Lisa Kemmerer will speak about animal rights and activism. Trow — who has a library of vegan cookbooks in her kitchen — says one of her favorite authors, Miyoko Schinner, known for her book Artisan Vegan Cheese, will host a vegan cheesemaking

INVeg co-founders Tessa Trow and Josh Meckel (left) are organizers of the first-annual Spokane Vegfest. The two are part of a growing vegan population in the area. Young Kwak photos demo. Trow says Schinner’s recipes are not the squeaky cheese substitutes you’ll find in the grocery store: “I actually had a vegan cheese and wine tasting party a couple months back,” she says, in which she served Schinner’s recipes: “People did not know” they were eating vegan cheese. “In the middle they were kind of like, ‘Wait a second, I thought vegans didn’t eat cheese.’” Alison Collins, owner of Boots Bakery & Lounge, also will hold a baking demo at VegFest. Trow says a vegan food festival is just the beginning for their group. Just recently, they started a membership program: for $20, INVeg members can get 10-percent-off discounts at eateries like Neato Burrito, Boots and Stella’s Café. Soon they hope to be offering Vegan 101 classes and mentorship programs to help support those interested in trying veganism. Trow and her fellow vegans know that if people just try the food at VegFest, they’re going to think of veganism as something that’s not pushy, but delicious. “The best way to teach people about healthy living and veganism is through their stomachs,” she says. “It’s like, ‘Try this amazing chocolate chip cookie, have this amazing lasagna.’ Come see that I eat everything that you eat … just with a few small changes.” n Spokane VegFest • Sat, June 21, from noon-6 pm • Free • Spokane Community College, Lair Building • 1810 N. Greene • inveg.org/vegfest.html

JUNE 19, 2014 INLANDER 39


FOOD | OPENING

Marina’s owner Aaron Steinberg in the north Spokane restaurant’s kitchen. MATT WEIGAND PHOTO

East Coast Expertise Marina’s will have you eating like a New Yorker BY JO MILLER

A

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the only one who works at the shop, makes all the sauces, like the au jus and his Brooklyn-style marinara. After 15 minutes (a wait well worth it) Steinberg slides a heaping carry-out box over the slender steel counter, the only seating in the deli. The meatball parmesan sandwich ($7.25) is dripping with melted mozzarella, smothered in chunky marinara and stuffed with delicious meatballs. Alongside are fresh, seasoned French fries, a deli slaw made with pineapple in true Long Island fashion, a Jewish half-sour pickle and Steinberg’s own idea for a few sweet bites at the end: a cornbread muffin with a citrusy cranberry sauce. All four sides are included with each sandwich. Between the food, the narrow, minimalist space with a full view of the kitchen and Steinberg’s confident culinary air, you get the feeling of discovering one of those big-city, hidden-gem eateries featured on cable food shows, but if you look out the door, you’re reminded that you’re on Division Street. n Marina’s New York Deli • 9331 N. Division • Open Mon-Fri, 11 am-6:30 pm; Sat, 11 am3:30 pm • 464-0811• respectgrass.wix.com/ marina-ny-deli

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aron Steinberg walks back and forth behind the counter, swishing meatballs around a pan for a meatball parmesan sandwich, tossing fresh-made fries and flinging out his knowledge of our nation’s regional cuisines — describing sandwiches in Chicago, Italian-style heroes in New York delis and alligator-stuffed po’ boys in New Orleans. Steinberg, from Brooklyn, has always been involved in food. He worked as a chef at country clubs on the East Coast, then moved to Spokane 16 years ago with his wife and started Herbs & More, an herb shop at 9331 N. Division St. near the North Division Y. Two months ago, in the same spot alongside the herbs, he opened Marina’s New York Deli. “Everything here is East Coast style,” says Steinberg. It’s a combination of Italian dishes you can get in restaurants and an East Coast sandwich shop representing a jumble of food cultures. There are Greek gyros ($7.95), Philly cheesesteak ($8.25), chicken cacciatore ($7.95), Reubens ($7.95) and Polish sausage ($8.25), to name a few. All of the meats — corned beef, pastrami, roast pork, Italian beef — are made in-house, marinated for days or weeks at a time. Steinberg,

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FOOD | CAFÉ

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ast July, Nicole Burgi took notice of the increasing demand for gluten-free items in the food world and closed the bistro portion of Alpine Bistro and Bakery to make room for a new gluten-free baking room. “We knew it was one of those up-and-coming things that wouldn’t be short-lived,” says Burgi. A closed door separates the gluten-free baking room from the rest of the bakery, and it has its own separate pans, equipment and baking time. “[The baker] bakes when nothing else is baking, so there’s no flour in the air,” she says. Sometimes the loaves of gluten-free bread in stores can be small and hard, says Burgi, but Alpine makes sure their bread comes out big and soft, just like regular loaves of bread. The bakery — now named Alpine Bakery Co. — makes glutenfree bread in several varieties, including white, multigrain and jalapeno cheddar. The rest of their gluten-free line includes hamburger buns, bread cubes, croutons, and a rotating list of pastries like brownies, peanut butter cookies, pumpkin cake and muffins. Alpine’s line of non-gluten-free products features an extensive selection of loaves, baguettes, artisan breads, rolls and buns, a full line of pastries and more, all with no preservatives. Each week, the bakery goes through two tons of flour and supplies baked goods to more than 100 restaurants from Airway Heights to Coeur d’Alene, all around Spokane, and to a few outlying locations. When Burgi closed the bistro nine years after opening it with her husband, she needed a storefront for walk-in customers to buy their products or pick up large orders. So she leased a portion of what used to be the dining room to Jen Goodwin, who opened a coffee shop inside called Alpine Grind. Goodwin sells the bakery’s pastries ($1-3.75) — like Danishes, cinnamon rolls, muffins and bagels — alongside their other breads, which are all baked daily. She serves Uccello’s Coffee in pretty much any form you can ask for ($2-$4.75).  Alpine Bakery Co. and Alpine Grind • 810 N. Monroe • Open Mon-Fri, 6 am-3 pm • alpine-bakery-spokane.com • 327-7040

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FOOD | UPDATE

Maggie’s South Hill Grill’s Shrimp Carbonara. YOUNG KWAK PHOTO

The Inlander’s Annual

CHEAP EATS GUIDE Packed with lots of places to get some great food without breaking the bank. Plus look for summer long BOGO offers to great local businesses.

MAGGIE’S SOUTH HILL GRILL

2808 E. 29th | 536-4745

M

aggie’s, a South Hill gem for about a decade, changed owners last year. The restaurant hasn’t lost its regulars, who come in for a menu of eclectic, fresh offerings. There’s also a gluten-free menu. While there are some excellent sandwiches, wraps and salads featuring chicken, ham and beef, dining room manager Stephanie Baker says they’re always happy to

make anything on the menu vegetarian. With warm weather finally here, Maggie’s has opened its nine patio tables and added a happy hour menu. Monday through Thursday from 3-5 pm, appetizers are half off and there’s a selection of discounted drinks. — MIKE BOOKEY

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FOOD | SAMPLER

VEGETARIAN-FRIENDLY MICKDUFF’S BREWING COMPANY 312 N. First Ave. I Sandpoint 208-255-4351 Known for their handcrafted beers, this Sandpoint brewery also features a menu of 11 burgers. With locally grown beef, MickDuff’s has several burgers of varying sizes, but they don’t leave the veggie crowd out in the cold, offering both portobella and black-bean patties. Meat eaters, check out the Gouda burger, served with onions, Gouda, bacon and homemade jalapeño sauce on ciabatta bread. The hand-cut, skinon fries are some of the best in the Inland Northwest. MIZUNA 214 N. Howard I 747-2004 Originally a vegetarian restaurant, Mizuna expanded its menu over the years to meet the needs of omnivores as well. Rest assured, vegans and vegetarians — your offerings are prepared on a separate workspace and grill. Mizuna’s menu changes to showcase fresh, locally sourced ingredients. A great wine selection, dim lighting, exposed brick walls and elegant décor make this one of Spokane’s most romantic restaurants.

Sit in the alley in the summer and pretend you’ve been transported to a quaint European city. MOSCOW BAGEL AND DELI 310 S. Main St. I Moscow 208-882-5242 This bagel shop is set on “changing the world one bagel at a time,” and with more than 100 bagel sandwiches, they certainly have the arsenal of flavors to get them started on this ambitious pledge. Stop in for breakfast before class or stumble in after midnight for bagel sandwich cuisine ranging from traditional to downright funky. They’re open until 3 am, so you’re bound to see some intoxicated college students wandering in to refuel. PICABU NEIGHBORHOOD BISTRO 901 W. 14th I 624-2464 Picabu attributes its longstanding success to its menu’s flexibility. Rather than offering a segregated section for vegetarians or the gluten-intolerant, it simply tweaks its dishes to cater to customers’ needs. Try anything with fire sauce on it. Creamy, garlicky, with a spicy kick, this house-made condiment is served on everything, from prawns to pasta, or tofu, if you so desire.

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They have chocolate peanut butter pie, too. QUEEN OF SHEBA 621 W. Mallon I 328-3958 This Ethiopian restaurant knows a thing or two about preparing vegetarian food that you’re not going to find anywhere else. We recommend yeme shir kikwat, split red lentils cooked in berbere sauce, or shiro, crowned chickpeas mildly spiced and cooked with chopped onions and tomatoes. There’s also the yatakilt alicha: cabbage, carrots and potatoes sautéed with peppers, onion and garlic. TASTE CAFE 180 S. Howard I 468-2929 It’s easy to go overboard at Taste. Indulge in the café’s case of fresh and innovative salads — the pastapesto-pea and the golden beet are standouts. Taste also slam-dunks “comfort food” with their grilled sandwiches, mac & cheese, pot pies and fresh-from-the oven cookies. If you get there early enough for breakfast, grab a cup of coffee and a sinfully amazing, twice-baked almond croissant. Arrive early on Thursdays for gluten-free treats that sell out quickly. n

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The Boys’ Band

showing an old episode of Rawhide. Eastwood also catches wonderful small moments, my favorite being the instant where some of the guys are watching the movie Ace in the Hole, and a chance comment inspires Gaudio to write “Big Girls Don’t Cry”. Eastwood and his writers — Marshall Brickman and Rick Elice adapted their own play — fill the film with lots of “I didn’t know that” bits of info. For instance, I didn’t know that the Four Seasons took their name from a bowling alley; I didn’t know that then-struggling actor Joe Pesci was There’s trouble with cops, loyalty among friends, an important component in their success. guys meeting girls, and a slow, steady examination of Even the basic construction of the film is terrific. something musically magical coming together. But not There’s a point where, before the group sees any real easily. Tommy and bass player Nick Massi (Michael Losuccess, Bobby bangs out four songs, then comes up menda) take turns doing jail time. New dynamics develop with a fifth: “Sherry,” which the members sing, reading with the addition of keyboardist-composer Bob Gaudio from sheet music, over the phone to their producer, who (Erich Bergen). There are differences shouts, “Get over here! Right now!” Sudin dreams: One member is content to JERSEY BOYS denly the group is all dressed up, singing on sing as a hobby; another wants it to be a Rated R American Bandstand. They’re playing in larger career. Directed by Clint Eastwood nightclubs, they’re in the studio recording When the group hooks up with Starring John Lloyd Young, “Walk Like a Man.” The hits start rolling in. talented, excitable and comically swishy Vincent Piazza, Mike Doyle The energy flags when some of the record producer Bob Crewe (Mike drama gets in the way, including Frankie’s Doyle), the movie clicks. Anyone wonhome-life problems, but picks up again when dering if director Clint Eastwood can handle this kind of it turns, via flashback, to problems that had been percomaterial has nothing to worry about. He makes great use lating within the group. A burst of it is released in the of Tommy, and later other characters, stepping out and thrilling finale that starts as an a cappella quartet street speaking to viewers in asides, and he catches the energy scene, then evolves into others joining in — musicians, of the story — both the joyous side (the songs) and the singers, dancers, eventually the whole cast. As credits negative parts (money problems, inner turmoil among roll, a couple of real Four Seasons recordings come up. group members). Pay close attention, and you’ll see an People leaving the theater knew the words to the songs, Eastwood “cameo,” as a camera pans past a TV set that’s and they were singing right along with them. 

Clint Eastwood takes the Four Seasons to the big screen without missing a beat BY ED SYMKUS

M

usicals like My Fair Lady and West Side Story, in which people suddenly stop talking and start singing, have always jarred me. But Jersey Boys, the story of Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons, is not a typical musical. It’s a dramatic story about the singers and writers of some great early-to-mid-’60s tunes, so it’s very natural to have them burst into one of those songs: “Sherry,” “Rag Doll,” “Walk Like a Man,” and many more pop-rock/doo-wop classics that featured Valli’s fantastic falsetto. I’d not seen the stage play, but I know the words to the songs, and I was singing right along with them. Conventions are broken from the get-go here when in the early 1950s, singer-guitarist/small-time hood Tommy DeVito (Vincent Piazza) introduces himself to the camera, saying that he’ll be telling the story. Tommy works for local gangster Gyp DeCarlo (Christopher Walken), sings at the Strand Club with a couple of pals under the name The Variety Trio, and invites his younger, angelicvoiced pal Frankie Castelluccio — later changed to Valli (John Lloyd Young) — onstage to croon “I Can’t Give You Anything but Love.”

44 INLANDER JUNE 19, 2014


FILM | SHORTS

OPENING FILMS JERSEY BOYS

The “boys” of the title are the Four Seasons, the ’60s pop-rock-doo-wop group whose tunes (Sherry, Big Girls Don’t Cry, etc.) were staples of Top 10 lists. Clint Eastwood’s film of the still huge Broadway play (it’s a drama with music, not a musical) grabs onto both the positive and negative energy of the band’s and especially falsetto lead singer Frankie Valli’s (John Lloyd Young) story. Resistance is futile; you will sing along. (ES) Rated R

LUCKY THEM

Elli (an excellent Toni Collette) is a rock music critic who spends more time sleeping with rock stars than actually writing about them. With her career on the line, Ellie’s editor sends her on an assignment to write about her ex-boyfriend, a beloved singer-songwriter who disappeared a decade earlier. She reluctantly teams up with a millionaire amateur documentarian (Thomas Haden Church) and heads out to find a truth she���s not quite sure she’s ready to face. At Magic Lantern. (MB) Rated R

THE ROVER

Australian director David Michôd (who helmed the visceral Animal Kingdom) is back with a film designed to haunt your psyche for days after you’ve watched it. Set 10 years after a global financial meltdown, it’s all but chaotic in the Australian

outback. At the start of the film, our hero, played by Guy Pierce (Memento, Hurt Locker), has his car stolen and he spends the rest of the bleak film trying to amend that wrong. Along the way he picks up Robert Pattinson (aka Edward Cullen attempting some sort of accent) as his accomplice. As the credits roll, you’ll wonder what the whole thing is all about, and that’s the point. (LJ) Rated R

The last time we saw officers Jenko (Channing Tatum) and Schmidt (Jonah Hill), they were posing as high school students to bust a teenage drug ring. In 22 Jump Street (they moved across the street), the duo is back, but what could they possibly do to top their last assignment? Duh. Enroll in college. Again, the assignment is to stop a drug ring, but now at a college, while keeping their focus on fighting crime. Thankfully, Nick Offerman (you know him as Ron Swanson) is back as the take-no-crap commanding officer. (MB) Not yet rated

THE AMAZING SPIDER MAN 2

The new version of Spider Man returns with even more baddies for our favorite former nerd to battle. Balancing both romance with his girlfriend, Gwen (Emma Stone), as well as the everyday troubles of being amazing, Peter Parker (Andrew Garfield) has a lot on his plate. The birth of a new villain, Electro (Jamie Foxx) who seems to be stronger than our wayward hero, brings a new revelation. (ER) PG-13

BLENDED

In a movie together again, Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore (Team Sandlermore, if you will) head to Africa. They play Jim and Lauren, a couple who endure an awful blind date, then somehow end up at the same resort half a world away. Both have kids, which makes things even crazier, right? When Lauren starts falling for these motherless kids, she’s in danger of falling for the whole

Get started early | ewu.edu/summer

THE SIGNAL

This dude named Nic, his girlfriend and a computer hacking buddy, detour into the desert while on a road trip and before you know it, they all get knocked out. Soon, Nic awakes in a sterilized white room in which a scary dude played by Laurence Fishburne starts asking him about “the signal” and when he first heard it. Nic has no idea what they’re talking about, but soon he find himself in an increasingly hellish quasi-reality with no idea how to escape. (MB) Rated PG-13

THINK LIKE A MAN, TOO

In the follow up to 2012’s Think Like a Man, the whole gang is back and this time they’re headed to a wedding in Las Vegas. All the couples are looking for a romantic time, but when things get all Hangover-ey, things get a lot more complicated than intended. Kevin Hart, as he did in the original, is at the helm of a cast of comic stars. (MB) Rated PG-13

NOW PLAYING 22 JUMP STREET

think summer

package. Directed by frequent Sandler collaborator Frank Coraci (The Wedding Singer, The Waterboy), Blended is full of the sort of silliness Sandler has been taking to the bank with the Grown Ups franchise. (MB) Rated PG-13

CHEF

Nothing is terribly surprising in Chef’s plot, but its up-to-date narrative ingredients of a food truck, Twitter and the Internet add a freshness to the overall product that blends nicely with its heart and soul. It’s been more than a decade since Jon Favreau, who directs, writes and stars, has imbued a film with this kind of warmth. As the lead, Favreau plays a chef who once was at the top of the nation’s culinary scene, but is now frustrated in his role as a chef for an insufferable owner (Dustin Hoffman). So the chef sets out on his own, opening a food truck with friends and family. (MB) Rated R

DRAFT DAY

Director Ivan Reitman (who did, among many other things, Ghostbusters) brings us a relatively accurate depiction of the NFL draft and all the backroom shenanigans. Kevin Costner stars as the GM of the Cleveland Browns who, on the eve of the draft, has seen both his personal life and his career wander onto shaky ground. Now, he has to decide whether to take a heralded quarterback as the first pick. (MB) Rated PG-13 ...continued on next page

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FILM | SHORTS

NOW PLAYING EDGE OF TOMORROW

Adv. Tix on Sale TRANSFORMERS: AGE OF EXTINCTION THINK LIKE A MAN TOO [CC,DV] (PG-13) Fri. - Sun.(1230 300) 700 1000 JERSEY BOYS [CC,DV] (R) Fri. - Sun.(1200 330) 730 1030 22 JUMP STREET [CC,DV] (R) ★ Fri. - Sun.(1140 1240 220 310) 640 740 910 1020 HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON 2 [CC,DV] (PG) ★ Fri. - Sun.(1130 210) 435 710 935

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THE FAULT IN OUR STARS

The girl has cancer, the boy is in remission from cancer; this story can only end badly. As far as teenage cancer love stories go, John Green’s recent young adult novel of the same name isn’t half bad — not nearly as sappy as A Walk to Remember. With Shailene Woodley (The Descendants, Divergent) as the lead for this film adaption, many lovesick teenage girls and their boyfriends will show up for this one. (LJ) Rated PG-13

THE FAULT IN OUR STARS [CC,DV] (PG-13) Fri. - Sun.(1150 250) 610 900 EDGE OF TOMORROW [CC,DV] (PG-13) Fri. - Sun.(100 340) 630 920 MALEFICENT (PG) Fri. - Sun.(1210 240) 500 720 950 X-MEN: DAYS OF FUTURE PAST [CC,DV] (PG-13) Fri. - Sun.(1250 PM 355 PM) 650 PM

FED UP

X-MEN: DAYS OF FUTURE PAST IN REALD 3D [CC,DV] (PG-13) ★ Fri. - Sun.945 PM GODZILLA [CC,DV] (PG-13) Fri. - Sun.(110) 410 705 1005 NEIGHBORS [CC,DV] (R) Fri. - Sun.(120 350) 750 1015

Adv. Tix on Sale TRANSFORMERS: AGE OF EXTINCTION JERSEY BOYS [CC,DV] (R) Fri. - Sun.(1215 320) 645 955 22 JUMP STREET [CC,DV] (R) ★ Fri. - Sun.(1245 115 345) 415 650 715 1000 1015 HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON 2 [CC,DV] (PG) ★ Fri. - Sun.(1230 100 330) 400 630 700 930 945 HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON 2 IN REALD 3D [CC,DV] (PG) ★ Fri. - Sun.(1200 300) 600 900

Airway Heights 10117 W State Rt 2 • 509-232-0444 HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON 2

PG Daily (10:00) (2:30) 9:15 In 2D Daily (11:30) (12:15) (1:45) (4:00) (4:45) 6:15 7:00 8:30 Fri-Sun (11:00) (1:15)

22 JUMP STREET

R Daily (11:20) (2:00) (3:30) (4:30) 6:20 7:10 9:00 9:40

EDGE OF TOMORROW

PG-13 Daily (4:10) 9:10 In 2D Daily (11:10) (1:50) (2:40) (5:00) 6:40 7:25 9:45 Fri-Sun (12:10)

THE FAULT IN OUR STARS

PG-13 Daily (10:45) (1:10) (3:50) 6:30 9:20

MALEFICENT

PG Daily (10:00) (12:00) (2:20) (4:40) 6:50 9:10

A MILLION WAYS TO DIE IN THE WEST R Daily (2:45) (5:00) 7:20 9:45 Fri-Sun (12:25)

X-MEN: DAYS OF FUTURE PAST

PG-13 Daily (10:20) (1:00) (4:00) 7:00 9:50

THE FAULT IN OUR STARS [CC,DV] (PG-13) Fri. - Sun.(1205 1240 305 340) 605 640 905 940 EDGE OF TOMORROW [CC,DV] (PG-13) Fri. - Sun.(1220 355) 655 1000 A MILLION WAYS TO DIE IN THE WEST [CC,DV] (R) Fri. - Sun.(110) 405 710 1005 MALEFICENT (PG) Fri. - Sun.(1250 350) 710 950 X-MEN: DAYS OF FUTURE PAST [CC,DV] (PG-13) Fri. - Sun.(1210 PM 310 PM) 610 PM X-MEN: DAYS OF FUTURE PAST IN REALD 3D [CC,DV] (PG-13) ★ Fri. - Sun.910 PM

Wandermere

12622 N Division • 509-232-7727

JERSEY BOYS

R Daily (12:15) (3:15) 6:20 9:20

HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON 2

PG Daily (10:00) (2:30) 7:00 9:20 In 2D Daily (11:30) (12:15) (1:45) (4:00) (4:45) 6:15 8:30 Fri-Sun (11:00) (1:15)

22 JUMP STREET

R Daily (11:20) (2:00) (3:30) (4:30) 6:20 7:10 9:00 9:40

EDGE OF TOMORROW

PG-13 Daily (11:10) (1:50) (2:40) (4:10) (5:00) 6:40 7:25 9:45 Fri-Sun (12:10)

THE FAULT IN OUR STARS

PG-13 Daily (10:40) (1:10) (3:50) 6:30 9:20

MALEFICENT

PG Daily (11:30) (4:00) 8:30 In 2D Daily (10:00) (12:00) (1:50) (2:20) (4:40) 6:15 6:50 9:10

A MILLION WAYS TO DIE IN THE WEST R Daily (2:45) (5:00) 7:20 9:45 Fri-Sun (12:25)

BLENDED

PG-13 Daily (11:30) (2:10) (4:40) 7:15 9:35

Adv. Tix on Sale TRANSFORMERS: AGE OF EXTINCTION

GODZILLA

PG-13 Daily (11:00) (1:40) (4:20) 7:10 9:35

X-MEN: DAYS OF FUTURE PAST

PG-13 Daily (10:20) (1:00) (4:00) 7:00 9:50

JERSEY BOYS [CC,DV] (R) Fri. - Sat.(1230 345) 700 1005 Sun.(1230 PM) 405 PM 800 PM Times For 06/20 - 06/22

Regal_061914_4V.pdf 46 INLANDER JUNE 19, 2014

Tom Cruise has picked his science-fiction films wisely (Minority Report) and less so (Oblivion). But he made the right choice on this full-blown action movie about an attack on Earth by creepy, bloodthirsty aliens, and the war waged on them by our international military. It’s also a trapped-in-a-time-loop story, similar to Groundhog Day (but more violent and funnier) in which Cruise is an unwilling soldier who keeps getting killed in battle, then waking up to fight again, knowing what’s to come. (ES) Rated PG-13

NEIGHBORS R Daily 910

Showtimes in ( ) are at bargain price. Special Attraction — No Passes Showtimes Effective 6/20/14-6/26/14

The issue of obesity has been a muchtalked-about problem in our society for a couple decades now, but it seems like none of the solutions have really stuck. This documentary, narrated by news legend Katie Couric, points the finger for this epidemic at sugar and the people who put it in our kids’ food. At Magic Lantern (MB) Rated PG

FINDING VIVIAN MAIER

Finding Vivian Maier recounts the discovery by John Maloof (who co-directed this documentary with Charlie Siskel) of a reclusive photographer’s tens of thousands of mysterious photographs and the filmmakers ensuing quest to discover the artist’s identity. All evidence suggests Maier, who died in 2009, was very private; conjecture suggests she was in some way mentally ill. At Magic Lantern (LW) Not Rated

GODZILLA

Without even attempting to capture the spirit of the sometimes grim, sometimes goofy series of Japanese Godzilla films that ran from 1954-2004, this second Hollywood attempt at a movie about the big, gray lizard with radioactive breath is convoluted in its story lines and plodding in its presentation. The supposed monstrous star of the film is in a supporting role, overshadowed by lots of scientific babble and two other monsters called Mutos who are more interested in making Muto babies than knocking down buildings. Of course, real estate goes down when Godzilla finally goes up against them. But that good stuff is too little and comes far too late. (ES) Rated PG-13

GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL

Wes Anderson’s latest features a narrative structure in which the central story isn’t merely a flashback, but a flashback nesting in a flashback nesting inside another flashback. A woman visits a memorial for a writer; that writer (Tom Wilkinson), circa 1985, describes his en-

A MILLION WAYS TO DIE IN THE WEST

counter as a young man (Jude Law) in 1968 with Mr. Zero Moustafa (F. Murray Abraham), owner of the once-glorious Grand Budapest Hotel in the “former republic of Zubowka.” At Magic Lantern (SR) Rated R

HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON 2

Picking up five years after the original, the isle of Berk has fully embraced the once-rival dragons as pets. And while Hiccup’s father Stoick, the isle’s Viking chieftain, is ready to cede power to his dragon-master heir, Hiccup’s focus lies elsewhere, as he and his dragon best friend Toothless chart the previously unexplored world beyond Berk. Unfortunately, these travels lead to some unwanted discoveries, including the existence of dragon poachers and the tyrant Drago, who controls a dragon army. (SS) Rated PG

IDA

Taking place in Poland in 1962, Ida is the story of an aspiring nun, Anna. The graceful 18-year-old hopes to take her vows in the same convent she has lived in since being orphaned. But before her vows are complete, she is required to meet with an unknown family member that will change her perspective on life. Family secrets from the dark Nazi occupation are revealed and this sends Anna on a journey in hope of finding clarity. At Magic Lantern (MAB) Rated PG-13

MALEFICENT

As one of the most terrifying and iconic Disney villains, Maleficent (Angelina Jolie) has had many questions surrounding the origins of her background. This newly re-imagined flick seeks to explain exactly how the fallen fairy became so evil, and why she chose to act out against innocent Princess Aurora (Elle Fanning). As cursed child becomes young woman, Maleficent must make drastic decisions to save her kingdom of the Moors, even if it hurts her in the process. (ER) PG

In this modern western comedy, a timid sheep farmer, Albert Stark (Seth McFarlane), is dumped by his girlfriend (Amanda Seyfried) after shying away from a gunfight. Soon after, he becomes enamored with the beautiful new woman that arrives in town (Charlize Theron). They spark a romance and she helps him develop his courage. It is not until her husband, an outlaw, arrives for revenge that Albert is inspired to test his newfound courage. (MB) Rated R

NEIGHBORS

This film casts Seth Rogen in a comfortable role as a genial pot-smoker, and a wonderfully wild Rose Byrne in a comfortable role where she’s allowed to speak with her own Australian accent, as Mac and Kelly are forced to contend with the Delta Psi fraternity buying the suburban house next door to theirs. OK premise, awful result. (SR) Rated R

WORDS AND PICTURES

If it sounds cliché, it probably is. An eccentric, eloquently spoken English teacher (Clive Owen) and an impassive, quiet art teacher (Juliette Binoche) at a high-end prep school immediately clash, but eventually see past each other’s stubborn teaching philosophies and fall in love. Meanwhile, Owen’s character also struggles to keep his job, whilst the school’s students wage the greatest debate of all: Are words or pictures more important? (CS) Rated PG-13

X-MEN: DAYS OF FUTURE PAST

In the latest installment of this Marvel franchise, we open on a nasty future: dark, post-apocalyptic skies and ruined cities left in the wake of the ongoing genocide of mutants and humans by robot Sentinels. The sci-fi Judgment Day has come and the Terminators aren’t even bothering to imprison survivors in the Matrix. Professor Charles Xavier (Patrick Stewart) has a plan to stop the Sentinel war decades in the past, before it even begins. There will be time travel and everything is gonna get fixed. Starring Jennifer Lawrence, Hugh Jackman, Peter Dinklage, Ian McKellan and Michael Fassbender. (MJ) Rated PG-13 

CRITICS’ SCORECARD THE NEW YORK INLANDER TIMES

VARIETY

(LOS ANGELES) ANGELES) (LOS

Train Your Your Dragon Dragon 2 2 Train Neighbors Neighbors

(OUT (OUT OF OF 100) 100)

77 77 74 68

X-MEN: X-MEN: Days Days of...Past of...Past Chef Chef

66 56

Lucky Lucky Them Them Million Dollar Dollar Arm Arm Million Malefi Maleficent cent

DON’T DON’T MISS MISS IT IT

METACRITIC.COM METACRITIC.COM

55 WORTH WORTH $10 $10

WATCH WATCH IT IT AT AT HOME HOME

SKIP SKIP IT IT


FILM | REVIEW

WEEK OF JUNE 20TH THRU JUNE26TH

Rio 2 PG Fri-Thurs 5:00

2

$ 50

The Lego Movie PG Fri-Thurs 12:15

WEDNESDAYS

5

$ 00

Divergent PG13 Fri-Mon 9:45pm Wed 9:45pm

ALL SHOWS ALL TIMES

Rio 2

Fri-Thurs 5:00

Captain America: the Winter Soldier PG13 Fri-Mon 2:20 7:05 Tues 2:20 9:00 Wed-Thurs 2:20 7:05

The Lego Movie Fri-Thurs 12:45

Monty Python & the Holy Grail PG Tickets $1 Sat Midnight Tues 7:05 Thurs 9:45

Divergent

PG-13

Captain America:

THE MAGIC LANTERN

the winter soldier

FRI JUNE 20TH - The WED JUNE 25TH Croods

IDA (80 MIN)

Fri-Mon & Wed 9:45pm

PG-13

PG

Fri/Sat: 3:00, 6:45, Sun: Tickets 1:00, 4:45$1 Mon-Weds: 3:00, 6:45 Fri 9:30am

Fri-Mon 2:20, 7:05 Tues 2:20, 9:00 Wed-Thurs 2:20, 7:05

The Croods Fri 9:30am

THE GRAND Epic BUDAPEST HOTEL (96PGMIN) Fri/Sat: 2:30, 4:45, 8:30, Tickets Sun: 2:45, $16:30, 8:15 Mon-Weds: 2:30, 4:45, 8:30 9:30am Mon-Thurs FED UP (94 MIN PG)

monty python & the holy grail Sat Midnight Tues 7:05, Thurs 9:45

Fri/Sat: 6:15 , Sun: 12:30, 4:15, Mon-Weds: 6:15

LUCKY THEM (97 MIN) *opening!

epic

Fri/Sat: 8:15, Sun: 6:15, Mon-Weds: 8:15

Mon-Thurs 9:30am

FINDING VIVIAN MAIER (82 MIN) Fri/Sat: 4:30, Sun: 2:30, Mon-Weds: 4:30

25 W Main Ave • 509-209-2383 • All Shows $8 www.magiclanternspokane.com

Rock of Love

924 W. GARLAND • 509.327.1050 WWW.GARLANDTHEATER.COM

Toni Collette shines as a rock critic in Lucky Them.

Lucky Them is a perfectly Seattle rock ’n’ roll movie BY MIKE BOOKEY

I

t’s been too long since the last good rock still alive. Along the way, she teams up with a movie came along. Not just a movie that feabored millionaire (a hilarious Thomas Haden tures a lot of good music, but one that makes Church) who has decided to become a documenyou remember why you love rock ’n’ roll. tarian and wants to follow Ellie around in an RV This isn’t to say there’s not some excellent because he’s heard that filmmakers all have RVs. tunes in Lucky Them, a charmingly funny film The movie’s Seattle setting and localized set and shot in Seattle and directed by Seattleite name-drops will warm the hearts of anyone who Megan Griffiths (Eden). Toni Collette stars as spent any time in that city’s music scene, and Ellie Klug, a music journalist at a serves perhaps as a needed reminder struggling magazine whose editor for those who’ve forgotten Seattle’s LUCKY THEM (Oliver Platt) sends her out to place in the history of rock music. It Rated R track down a long-disappeared works on a broader level, too, as it songwriter. The rub is that this elu- Directed by Megan Griffiths addresses the impact of music on its Starring Toni Collette, Thomas fans. sive rock legend, Matthew Smith, Haden Church, Oliver Platt happens to be her ex-boyfriend, Collette is perfectly believable in At Magic Lantern who left her as high and dry as he her role, projecting the pain of love did his many fans. lost while remaining perfectly funny Ellie drinks her whiskey neat and spends and quirky. She carries a story that’s breezily more time sleeping with her subjects than she paced and gorgeously shot, even if the milieu is does actually turning in stories on them. This, Seattle gray almost throughout. among other self-destructive behaviors, is why It would be a high crime to ruin the surprise Ellie is going to get fired if she can’t track down at the end of the film when we finally get a her ex and write a blockbuster story about where glimpse of this rocker. Let’s just say the reveal is he’s been all these years — if, indeed, he’s actually worth the price of admission alone. 

SATURDAY, June 21 $4 Pints - 11am-CLOSE

Be the first to try Fort George’s summer seasonal, a collaboration with Boneyard and Block 15. a tap list full of Fort George IPAS including:

Suicide Squeeze IPA / The Optimist / Vortex OMEGATEX / 3-Way IPA

LANTERN

ane 1004 S. PerRy St. Spok 509.315.9531 lanterntaphouse.com

TAP H USE O

JUNE 19, 2014 INLANDER 47


June 19th- June 25th

6/19

THUR

412 W. Sprague Ave. 509.747.2302

THIRSTY THURSDAY

MICROBREWS

DANCE YOUR ASS OFF ALL WEEKEND LONG

SAT

6/21

FRI

6/20

$

4 Per Pint!

$

$3 WELLS ALL WEEKEND!

3 FIREBALL FRIDAY

 DJ Beauflexx  $3 COVER

POWER HOUR

10:30-12AM

Seaside Church

Any drink - $6!

3:00PM

SUN 6/22

LIVE MUSIC! THE FINNS DEDERE GRANDHORSE DANE THOMPSEN STEVIE LYNNE

$5 ADVANCE $8 DOOR

3 WELLS All Day & Night!

6/25

WED

6/24

TUES

6/23

MON

$

48 INLANDER JUNE 19, 2014

CLOSED Shots opens at 5pm!

TEQUILA TUESDAY

$4 Margaritas Pick ANY shot of tequila - $6!

WHISKEY WEDNESDAY

$4 Jack Daniel’s HONEY BLACK


Gone Solo, Not Soft

After three decades of Melvins records, Buzz Osborne makes an awesome album by himself By Leah Sottile

A

fter 31 years, you’d think King Buzzo would stop answering the phone. Nope. After a day of fielding questions about his guitars and his favorite foods and questions like “does the carpet match the drapes?” on a Reddit “Ask Me Anything” last week, Buzz Osborne — aka King Buzzo, the singer and guitarist and chief gadfly in the Melvins, a band with a cult-like following — picked up the phone to do an interview with a weekly newspaper in Spokane. “Never heard of it!” he says. I interviewed him for the Inlander four years ago, but that’s OK. He says there are actually very few interviews he won’t do, no paper too small. No matter what, they all help promote ...continued on next page

JUNE 19, 2014 INLANDER 49


MUSIC | ACOUSTIC “GONE SOLO NOT SOFT,” CONTINUED...

Boo Radley’s Uncommon Gifts

Downtown Spokane

on Howard St.

his band. He needs the help, he says. Interesting. Both times we’ve talked, Osborne has been insistent — adamant, even — that the Melvins will never sell a million records. He’d like to, but he isn’t hopeful. In the four years since the Melvins last came to Spokane — a four-piece on the Knitting Factory stage in long tunics — they’ve released three more albums (that’s 19 total) and gone on multiple tours. Just this month, Osborne released This Machine Kills Artists, his first solo acoustic record. He says another Melvins record is slated to be out this fall. Coming up with new ideas never seems to have been an issue for the Melvins, a band admired for its experimentation. So when Osborne released a solo record after all this time, it raised the eyebrows of many a Melvins fan — was something wrong with the band? “I never really felt the need to branch out on my own and do a record, because most of the stuff on our records is my voice anyway,” he says. “Ninety-nine percent of all the stuff on a Melvins record, maybe more, is my voice.” Doing a solo thing is just more of Osborne simply doing as he pleases. “This is just another thing that we could do, or I could do, that is every bit as viable as anything else I’ve ever done. New and exciting and fun,” he says. “If you like the Melvins, you’ll like this. What will the fans think? I don’t know. If I took people’s ideas about that kind of thing to heart, I would never make a single decision in my career.” If you haven’t checked out Osborne’s solo record, imagine what the Melvins would be like if you took away the pedals, took away Dale Crover, took away the Big Business guys, and handed Osborne an acoustic guitar. It’s nowhere near folk or anything mellow. On This Machine, Osborne’s guitar playing echoes from the belly of an acoustic, his voice swinging from melodic to his

Week One

Week Two

Thursday, August 7th

Thursday, August 14th

The Head And The Heart

With Mikey & Matty Microbrew Tasting and Fireworks

All Tickets $39.95

Trombone Shorty & Orleans Avenue With Special Guest Galactic

With

Miah Kohal Band

All Tickets $59.95

Saturday, August 9th

Nickel Creek

With

Head For The Hills and

Pear

All Tickets $54.95 Sunday, August 10th

FESTIVAL ATSANDPOINT AUGUST 7 - 17, 2014 THE

SANDPOINT, IDAHO

Friday, August 15th

Ray LaMontagne With

The Belle Brigade

All Tickets $64.95 Saturday, August 16th

Montgomery Gentry

With Wade Bowen and Chris Webster

& Nina Gerber

All Tickets $54.95

Family Concert

Sunday, August 17th

All Tickets $6.00

“Solo Spotlight” With The Spokane Symphony

“Musical Magic” With Spokane Youth Orchestra

King Buzzo with Adam Faucett • Sun, June 22, at 8 pm • $12 • All-ages • The Hop! • 706 N. Monroe • thehopevents.com • 328-5467

All Tickets $39.95

Friday, August 8th

Huey Lewis & The News

trademark guttural low end. Song titles ring with cynicism: “How I Became Offensive,” “The Spoiled Brat,” “The Blithering Idiot.” The record’s title is a nod to the famous sticker Woody Guthrie placed on his guitar: “This Machine Kills Fascists.” Osborne says not to read into that. “If you’re a Melvins fan and you heard this record, you’ll like it,” he says. “It doesn’t sound like John Denver or James Taylor or a half-assed version of Woody Guthrie.” As we talk, it seems Osborne actually has more in common with those old folkies than most Melvins fans would like to admit. “I always figure if I’m making something that I think is good, other people will like it,” he says. “Millions of people will not buy this record. I’ve never sold 500,000 copies of a record. I’m also not worrying about it if it doesn’t happen. I don’t think Woody Guthrie sold a million records. Neither did Pete Seeger. The vast majority of people in the world will not give a shit about what we’re doing. “If people don’t get the kind of music moves we make, that means they don’t have an intimate understanding of what we’re doing,” he says. “It’s not even my business to worry about that. Millions of people like stuff that I don’t like every single day of the week.” He’s OK that the Melvins, or his solo work, isn’t for everyone. And he’s not worried that he’ll run out of ideas. The Melvins and Buzz Osborne won’t ever stop. That’s because they’re sure about every move they make, every choice. They’ve been doing this for 31 years, and even though a million people aren’t listening, a lot of people are. “I’m sure about what I’m doing,” Osborne says. “I’m also not stupid.” n

Grand Finale

Complimentary Taste of the Stars Wine Tasting and Fireworks

All Tickets $39.95

For more information or to order tickets visit us online:

www.festivalatsandpoint.com Or Call: (208) 265-4554 50 INLANDER JUNE 19, 2014


MUSIC | INDIE ROCK

JUNE 19th - 25th

Friday June 20th

NEW MUD BLUES TRIO Saturday June 21st

THURS

Thursday June 19th LOS CHINGADORES

BEST DANCE CLUB

SAT & FRI

3RD PLACE BEST BEER BAR!

SUN

KARAOKE W/ MATTY KARAOKE W/ MATTY

COCKTAILS & 25 CRAFT BEERS

For Blitzen Trapper, it may not be raining money, but the open road is still theirs for the taking

120 E. Sprague Ave.

WED

Wednesday June 25th WHISKEY WEDNESDAY & SALLY BOP JAZZ

at IRV’s @ 9pm

MON

Hard Life

OPEN MIKE OF OPENNESS @7:30

KARAOKE W/ LIVE WIRE

TUES

After relocating to nYne for their November show, Blitzen Trapper finally plays the Bartlett this weekend.

LE GURLZ FEMALE IMPERSONATORS

at Club Red 6pm-9:30pm

Monday June 23rd Tuesday June 24th

Dance your ASS off until 4am all weekend!

KARAOKE W/ MATTY

Sunday FUN DAY June 22nd

TRIVIA! Starts at 7pm

at IRV’s @ 9pm

Encore @ 9:30-10:30

SETH HOFFMAN KENT UELAND THE NEHEMIAH SHOW HAPPY TIME PRICES

KARAOKE W/ LIVE WIRE

at IRV’s @ 8pm at IRV’s @ 8pm

LE GURLZ FEMALE IMPERSONATORS

at Club Red @ 10pm

415 W. Sprague Ave.

509.624.4450

BY LAURA JOHNSON

E

ric Earley seems a bit blue. He’s heading up toward Duluth, Minnesota, in Blitzen Trapper’s Mercedes-Benz Sprinter van, and the lead singer-songwriter keeps coming back to the fact that his band isn’t making truckloads of money. Earley talks about how they used to ride in the high style of tour buses for a year and a half. Then that got too expensive. There’s a solo album he’s been working on for a while, but thanks to finances, he’s not sure it will see the light of day. Blitzen Trapper started out in the Portland music bar scene in 2000, and toiled there for most of the decade. The idea of making it big was always there when Earley and much of the band moved to Portland from Salem, Oregon. “I never was really good at that dream. It took me a long time to get out and tour,” he says. It took until 2007 for the band to nab its first tour slot, opening for the Hold Steady. Everything seemed to move at warp speed after the release of 2008’s Furr, named No, 13 on Rolling Stone’s Best Albums of 2008; its title track was No. 4 on the magazine’s Best Singles list. They toured the world with their idols, like Stephen Malkmus and the Jicks and Wilco, released more albums and rubbed shoulders on TV with latenight talk-show hosts. These days, Earley says he doesn’t put much stock in what magazines have to say. Last October’s highly Americana-sounding release VII was by no means a universal critical favorite

(although the album is still worth a listen). “I don’t really care too much, ’cuz now we make our money playing live shows,” he says. “Word of mouth is more important. People don’t buy the records anymore. The live show is what makes people care about your band.” Recalling the first show the band ever played, which wasn’t under the Blitzen Trapper name, Earley says they had quite a psychedelic flare. “There was a lot of hippies and drugs, and I don’t remember it very well myself,” he admits. Over the years, their sound has advanced considerably, if not dramatically, from psychedelic rock to indie folk to something along the lines of Americana rock. “I like to build on what we’ve done before; we never go in a bizarre direction,” Earley says. “I want to keep changing, and keep doing something a little more unexpected.” In August, the five-piece will finally be done touring for a month. Earley will have a moment to clear his head a bit, relax, doing everything he enjoys most. “I spend a lot of time on the river. I go hiking and fishing,” he says. “I try to be in the woods as much as possible.” n lauraj@inlander.com Blitzen Trapper with Lonesome Shack • Sat, June 21, at 8 pm • All-ages • Sold out; limited ticket release online Friday • The Bartlett • 228 W. Sprague • thebartlettspokane.com • 747-2174

JUNE 19, 2014 INLANDER 51 SquarePeg_061914_4S_BD.tif


music | sound advice

AMERICANA IAN MCFERON

ELECTRONIC MANATEE COMMUNE

H

D

e sings a lot about constant travel, about making each dime count. Seattle singersongwriter Ian McFeron tours around the world, playing nearly 200 shows a year. This weekend, he’s playing two of them in Sandpoint. His Americana music isn’t just a documentation of a musician’s life on the road; there’s also love. It works well with his crooning voice reminiscent of James Blunt but an octave lower. Alisa Milner accompanies McFeron on strings and backing vocals. — LAURA JOHNSON

efined in real terms, Grant Eadie’s music, which he plays under the moniker Manatee Commune, would be considered misty, ethereal, dreamy electropop. Sometimes there’s “ohhs” and “ahhs” over beats that ebb and flow like waves. Sometimes it sounds like monkeys are squawking over foggy chords. If you want vocals, this isn’t for you. But Manatee Commune — which has only been around a little more than a year and already has been booked at the Capitol Hill Block Party and Bumbershoot — has a lot to offer the person looking to be swallowed by sound that creates an atmosphere. Now residing in Bellingham, the Spokane native comes back to headline Bazaar this weekend. — LAURA JOHNSON

Ian McFeron • Fri, June 20, at 9 pm • Free • Eichardt’s Pub • 301 Cedar St., Sandpoint (new location) • (208) 263-4005 • Sat, June 21, at 2 pm • Free • Pend d’Oreille Winery • 220 Cedar St., Sandpoint • (208) 265-8545 • Free • ianmcferon.com

Bazaar feat. Manatee Commune, Emby Alexander, Mama Doll, Water Monster, Mallows, Teen Blonde, Pine League and Cloak & Dagger • Sat., June 21, 11 am-10 pm • All-ages • Free • 200 N. Wall • facebook.com/ terrainspokane

J = the inlander RECOMMENDs this show J = All Ages Show

Thursday, 06/19

Arbor Crest Wine Cellars, Performers on the Patio feat. Butterscotch Blonde Beverly’s, Robert Vaughn J Bucer’s Coffeehouse Pub, Open Jazz Jam with Erik Bowen The Cellar, Kosh Coeur d’Alene Casino, PJ Destiny Curley’s, Usual Suspects The Flame, DJ Wesone The Handle Bar, Open Mic/Jam Night J The Hop!, Henchmen, Reason for Existence, Toxic Animals J Jacklin Arts & Cultural Center (208-457-8950), Mom’s Rocket John’s Alley, Jonathan Warren & The Billygoats Jones Radiator, Los Chingadores J Knitting Factory, The Next Big Thing, Austin Webb, Dakota Bradley, Lindsay Ell J Laguna Café, Just Plain Darin LeftBank Wine Bar, Nick Grow Lucky’s Irish Pub, Likes Girls J Luxe Coffeehouse, Particlehead J Mezzo Pazzo Wine Bar, “Lonesome” Lyle Morse O’Shay’s, Open mic

52 INLANDER JUNE 19, 2014

J The Shop, Sally Jablonski Templin’s Red Lion (208-773-1611), Rockin’ on the River feat. Sammy Eubanks J Underground 15, Gardening Angel tour kick-off with Casey Rogers, OneMan TrainWreck The Vault Social Club, DJ Seli The Viking Bar and Grill, Jordan Collins, Ruben Gunion, Scottie Feider Zola, Troubadour

Friday, 06/20

J The Bartlett, Sean Flinn & the Royal We, Loomer Beverly’s, Robert Vaughn Black Diamond, Nick Grow The Blind Buck, DJ Mayhem Bolo’s, Bruiser, Traveling Keys Dueling Piano Show Boomers Classic Rock Bar & Grill, Limosine Bowl’z Bitez and Spiritz, Likes Girls J Bucer’s Coffeehouse Pub, Darrell Brann Carlin Bay Resort, Karma’s Circle The Cellar, Donny Emerson Band Checkerboard Bar, Joe & Vicki Price, Sweet Rebel D Clover (487-2937), Patio Music

Series feat. Olivia Brownlee Coeur d’Alene Casino, Ron Greene Conkling Marina, Sucker Punch The Country Club, Shiner Curley’s, Bad Monkey J Eichardt’s, Ian McFeron (See story above) Fedora Pub, Keith Wallace Fizzie Mulligans, Kicho The Flame, DJ Big Mike Gateway Marina and Resort (208-582-3883), JamShack J The Hop!, Extortionist, Toarn, Redeem the Exile, We Ended Eden Idaho Pour Authority (208-2902280), Charley Packard Iron Horse Bar, Johnny Qlueless John’s Alley, Steel Toed Slippers Jones Radiator, New Mud Blues Trio J Laguna Café, Pamela Benton Library Lounge, Big Hair Revolution Max at Mirabeau, Chris Rieser & the Nerve J Mootsy’s, FEA, Boat Race Weekend, Team Growl nYne, DJ The Divine Jewels J Park Bench Cafe (456-4349), Maxie Ray Mills Pend d’Oreille Winery, Alchemix Red Room Lounge, DJ D3VIN3 J Republic Brewing Co., Ranger

and the Re-Arrangers Roadhouse Country Rock Bar, Copper Mountain Band Santosha Imports (877-5660008), Flamenco Guitar feat. Mateo Deran Silver Fox (208-667-9442), Usual Suspects Spike’s Phillys and More (4893647), Dimestore Prophits Spokane Eagles Lodge (4893030), Fly Like an Eagle feat. Sammy Eubanks The Viking Bar and Grill, Cary Fly Band Webster’s Ranch House Saloon (474-9040), Kyle Swaffard Zola, Bakin’ Phat

Saturday, 06/21

J The Bartlett, Blitzen Trapper (See story on page 51), Lonesome Shack [Sold-out] Beverly’s, Robert Vaughn Black Diamond, Buffalo Soldiers Motorcycle Celebration The Blind Buck, DJ Daethstar Bolo’s, Bruiser Boomers Classic Rock Bar & Grill, Limosine J Bucer’s Coffeehouse Pub, Natalie Greenfield with Isaac

Greenfield Carlin Bay Resort, Karma’s Circle The Cellar, Donny Emerson Band Checkerboard Bar, Slip Stream Clover (487-2937), Patio Music Series feat. Karrie O’Neill Coeur d’Alene Casino, Ron Greene, Smash Hit Carnival Conkling Marina, Sucker Punch The Country Club, Shiner Curley’s, Bad Monkey J Downtown Sandpoint, Summer Sounds feat. Monarch Mountain Band J Downtown Spokane, Bazaar feat. Manatee Commune (See story above), Emby Alexander, Mama Doll, Water Monster, Mallows, Teen Blonde, Pine League, Cloak & Dagger Fizzie Mulligans, Kicho The Flame, DJ Mark Thomas Gateway Marina and Resort (208-582-3883), JamShack Harvester Restaurant (2453552), Johnny & the Moondogs J The Hop!, Mom’s Rocket, OneFall, Morbid Inc, Steven Jaimz Project Iron Horse Bar, Johnny Qlueless John’s Alley, Bret Mosely J Jones Radiator, Seth Hoffman, Kent Ueland


LIBRARY LOUNGE, Big Hair Revolution MAX AT MIRABEAU, Chris Rieser & the Nerve  MEZZO PAZZO WINE BAR, Summer Solstice Festival NYNE, DJ C-Mad PEND D’OREILLE WINERY, Ian McFeron RED BULL (685-1108), Scorpius RED ROOM LOUNGE, DJ D3VIN3 ROADHOUSE COUNTRY ROCK BAR, Hollow Point ROCKET MARKET, Starlite Hotel  THE SHOP, Dry & Dusty SPIKE’S PHILLYS AND MORE (4893647), Cross My Heart, Midnight Parkade SPOKANE EAGLES LODGE (4893030, Let My Spirit Carry Me feat. Sammy Eubanks  UNDERGROUND 15, Theresa Cahalan Fundraiser feat. Comfort Zone THE VIKING BAR AND GRILL, Raggs Gustaffe & Bush Doktor ZOLA, Bakin’ Phat

Sunday, 06/22

ARBOR CREST WINE CELLARS, Concerts on the Cliff feat. Ryan Larsen Band THE CELLAR, Traveling Keys Dueling Piano Show

GET LISTED!

Get your event listed in the paper and online by emailing getlisted@inlander. com. We need the details one week prior to our publication date.

CLOVER (487-2937), Patio Music Series feat. Nick Grow COEUR D’ALENE CASINO, Kosh CONKLING MARINA, PJ Destiny CURLEY’S, Hoodoo Udu DALEY’S CHEAP SHOTS, Jam Night with VooDoo Church  THE HOP!, King Buzzo (See story on page 49) with Adam Faucett ZOLA, Son of Brad

Monday, 06/23

BOWL’Z BITEZ AND SPIRITZ, Open Mic  CALYPSOS, Open Mic EICHARDT’S, Monday Night Jam with Truck Mills  RICO’S, Open Mic ZOLA, Nate Ostrander Trio

Tuesday, 06/24

315 MARTINIS AND TAPAS, The Rub  THE BARTLETT, Open Mic BEVERLY’S, Robert Vaughn THE CELLAR, Eric Neuhausser FEDORA PUB, Tuesday Night Jam with Truck Mills THE HOP!, Phinehas, Deaf To, Confector JOHN’S ALLEY, Open Mic JONES RADIATOR, Open Mic of Open-ness  KNITTING FACTORY, Three Days Grace, Devour the Day ROCKET MARKET, Kari Marguerite SPLASH, Bill Bozly TRINITY AT CITY BEACH (208-2557558), Tuesdays with Ray Allen THE VAULT SOCIAL CLUB, DJ Q

ZOLA, L.O.S.

Wednesday,06/25 BEVERLY’S, Robert Vaughn BOWL’Z BITEZ AND SPIRITZ, Reggae Night feat. DJs Tochanan, Poncho, Tara and MC Splyt THE CELLAR, Pat Coast EICHARDT’S, Charley Packard  FOUNTAIN CAFE (625-6656), Just Plain Darin  THE HOP!, Odyssey, Faus, Czar, Blacktracks JONES RADIATOR, Sally Bop Jazz LA ROSA CLUB, Robert Beadling and Friends  THE PHAT HOUSE, T Mike’s Open Mic POOLE’S PUBLIC HOUSE (413-1834), Sammy Eubanks Unplugged SOULFUL SOUPS AND SPIRITS, Open mic THE VAULT SOCIAL CLUB, DJs Freaky Fred and MC Squared THE VIKING BAR AND GRILL, Mr. Feelgood and the Firm Believers ZOLA, The Boss of Me

Coming Up ...

JONES RADIATOR, Tanner Brethorst, Sam N’ Eye, June 26 RIVERFRONT PARK, Hoopfest 25 Kickoff feat. Cami Bradley, June 26 THE VIKING BAR AND GRILL, State to State, Flannel Math Animal, Ashland, June 26 CHECKERBOARD BAR, Hessler, June 27 GORGE AMPHITHEATER, Paradiso

Festival feat. Bassnectar, Above & Beyond, Zedd, Krewella, June 27 - 28 THE HOP!, Witchburn, June 27 THE VIKING BAR AND GRILL, Stepbrothers, June 27 JONES RADIATOR, Blackberry Bushes String Band, June 27, 9:15 pm. CHECKERBOARD BAR, Demonified Necrogenetic, Anomoly, Ground into Dust, Abode for the Dead, June 28 THE VIKING BAR AND GRILL, Death by Pirates, Drop Off, Dead Serious Lovers, Jack Parker, June 28, 6 pm. SINTO ACTIVITY CENTER, Flower Power Singles Dance, June 28 BABY BAR, The Everymen, June 29 RED ROOM LOUNGE, Hoopfest Weekend feat. Nacho Picasso, Spac3man, IMperfect Cody, Moe Davis, Lour, T.S. the solution, kagah, June 29 THE HOP!, CES CRU, June 30 THE BARTLETT, Cherry Glazerr, Normal Babies, Joel Jerome, July 2 BING CROSBY THEATER, Asleep at the Wheel, July 3 KNITTING FACTORY, Chevelle, Black Map, Highly Suspect, July 3 THE HOP!, Hellgate, July 3 THE BIG DIPPER, Castle, Rasputin, Blackwater Prophet, Diazepam, July 4 ARBOR CREST WINE CELLARS, Stage 2 Stage Music Festival, July 5

MUSIC | VENUES 315 MARTINIS • 315 E. Wallace, CdA • 208-6679660 ARBOR CREST WINE CELLARS • 808 W Main Ave. • 747-3903 BABY BAR • 827 W. First Ave. • 847-1234 THE BARTLETT • 228 W. Sprague Ave. • 747-2174 BEVERLY’S • 115 S. 2nd St., CdA • 208-765-4000 THE BIG DIPPER • 171 S. Washington St. • 863-8098 BIGFOOT PUB • 9115 N. Division St. • 467-9638 BING CROSBY THEATER • 901 W. Sprague Ave. • 227-7638 BLACK DIAMOND • 9614 E. Sprague • 891-8357 THE BLIND BUCK • 204 N. Division S. • 290-6229 BOLO’S• 116 S. Best Rd. • 891-8995 BOOMERS • 18219 E. Appleway Ave. • 755-7486 BOOTS BAKERY & LOUNGE • 24 W. Main Ave. • 703-7223 BOWL’Z BITEZ AND SPIRITZ• 401 W. Riverside Suite 101. • 321-7480 BUCER’S • 201 S. Main, Moscow • 208-882-5216 BUCKHORN INN • 13311 Sunset Hwy.• 244-3991 CARLIN BAY RESORT • 14691 Idaho 97, Harrison, • 208-689-3295 THE CELLAR • 317 E. Sherman, CdA • 208-6649463 CHAPS • 4237 Cheney-Spokane Rd. • 624-4182 CHECKERBOARD BAR • 1716 E. Sprague • 535-4007 COEUR D’ALENE CASINO • 37914 S. Nukwalqw Rd., Worley • 800-523-2464 COLDWATER CREEK WINE BAR • 20 W. Jerry Ln., Worley • 208-263-6971 CONKLING MARINA • 37914 S. Nukwalqw Rd., Worley • 208-686-1151 THE COUNTRY CLUB • 216 E. Coeur d’Alene Ave. • 208-676-2582 CURLEY’S • 26433 W. Hwy. 53 • 208-773-5816 DALEY’S CHEAP SHOTS • 6412 E. Trent • 535-9309 EICHARDT’S • 212 Cedar St., Sandpoint • 208263-4005 FEDORA PUB • 1726 W. Kathleen, CdA • 208765-8888 FIZZIE MULLIGANS • 331 W. Hastings Rd. • 466-5354 THE FLAME •2401 E. Sprague • 534-9121 FOX THEATER • 1001 W. Sprague • 624-1200 GRANDE RONDE CELLARS • 906 W. 2nd • 455-8161 THE HANDLE BAR • 12005 E. Trent Ave., Spokane Valley • 474-0933 THE HOP! • 706 N. Monroe St. • 368-4077 IRON HORSE • 407 E. Sherman Ave., CdA • 208-667-7314 IRV’S BAR • 415 W. Sprague Ave. • 624-4450 JOHN’S ALLEY • 114 E. 6th, Moscow • 208-8837662 JONES RADIATOR • 120 E. Sprague • 747-6005 KNITTING FACTORY • 911 W. Sprague Ave. • 244-3279 LAGUNA CAFÉ • 4302 S. Regal St. • 448-0887 LA ROSA CLUB • 105 S. First Ave., Sandpoint • 208-255-2100 LATAH BISTRO • 4241 Cheney-Spokane Rd. • 838-8338 LEFTBANK WINE BAR • 108 N. Washington • 315-8623 LIBRARY LOUNGE • 110 E. 4th Ave. •747-3371 LION’S LAIR • 205 W. Riverside Ave. • 456-5678 LUCKY’S IRISH PUB • 408 W. Sprague Ave. • 747-2605 LUXE COFFEEHOUSE • 1017 W. First Ave. • 642-5514 MAX AT MIRABEAU • 1100 N. Sullivan Rd. • 924-9000 MEZZO PAZZO WINE BAR • 2718 E. 57th • 863-9313 MOOTSY’S • 406 W. Sprague • 838-1570 MOSCOW FOOD CO-OP • 121 E. Fifth St. • 208882-8537 NORTHERN QUEST • 100 N. Hayford • 242-7000 NYNE • 232 W. Sprague Ave. • 474-1621 THE SHOP • 924 S. Perry St. • 534-1647 O’SHAY’S • 313 E. CdA Lake Dr. • 208-667-4666 PEND D’OREILLE WINERY • 301 Cedar St., Sandpoint • 208-265-8545 THE PHAT HOUSE • 417 S. Browne • 443-4103 PJ’S BAR & GRILL • 1717 N. Monroe St. • 328-2153 RED LION RIVER INN • 700 N. Division St. • 326-5577 RED ROOM LOUNGE • 521 W. Sprague Ave. • 838-7613 REPUBLIC BREWING • 26 Clark Ave. • 775-2700 THE ROADHOUSE • 20 N. Raymond • 413-1894 THE ROCK BAR • 13921 E. Trent Ave. • 43-3796 ROCKET MARKET • 726 E. 43rd Ave. • 343-2253 SEASONS OF COEUR D’ALENE • 209 E. Lakeside Ave. • 208-664-8008 THE SHOP • 924 S. Perry St. • 534-1647 SOULFUL SOUPS & SPIRITS • 117 N. Howard St. • 459-1190 SPOKANE ARENA • 720 W. Mallon • 279-7000 SPLASH • 115 S. 2nd St., CdA • 208-765-4000 THE SWAMP • 1904 W. Fifth Ave. • 458-2337 UNDERGROUND 15 • 15 S. Howard St. • 290-2122 THE VAULT • 120 N. Wall St. • 863-9597 THE VIKING • 1221 N. Stevens St. • 315-4547 ZOLA • 22 W. Main Ave. • 624-2416

JUNE 19, 2014 INLANDER 53


ALISSIA BLACKWOOD ILLUSTRATION

COMMUNITY CAKE FOR THE GOAT

For younger generations, it’s hard to imagine what Riverfront Park looked like — even more so the railyard maze that it replaced — in the early days of Expo ’74, when the iconic Pavillion was shiny and new and white exhibit tents dotted the horizon. As the citywide celebration of Expo’s 40th anniversary continues, the park hosts a day of guided history tours to point out World’s Fair relics and historic sites. Also planned are 74-cent hot dogs, local live music and presentations on the park’s past and envisioned future at the IMAX. An “Expo Memories” segment features a panel discussion (1:30 pm) with Jack Geraghty, Bill Youngs and Mary Cole. Following is a screening of KHQ’s Expo documentary. A big event highlight (2 pm) is when our beloved curiosity the Garbage Goat celebrates its 40th birthday with something sweet rather than the usual stinky refuse, as Sister Paula Turnbull rewards her creation with a slice of birthday cake. — CHEY SCOTT Remembering Expo Celebration • Sat, June 21, from 10 am-8 pm • Free • Riverfront Park • 507 N. Howard • spokaneriverfrontpark.com • 625-6601

54 INLANDER JUNE 19, 2014

VISUAL ART ALL SUMMER LONG

MUSIC BALKAN BEATS

37th Annual ArtWalk • Opening reception Fri, June 20, from 5:30-8:30 pm • Free • Downtown Sandpoint • Venues listed at artinsandpoint.org • 208-263-6139

KPBX Kids Concert feat. Vagabonds Balkan Brass Band • Fri, June 20, at noon • Free • Bing Crosby Theater • 901 W. Sprague • kpbx. org

Many of us down stationed down south — as in south of the Spokane or Kootenai county lines — don’t often make it very far north until the temps start warming up and the cool, pristine Northwest forest and lakes start to beckon. This seasonal draw is also partly why summer in Sandpoint is so packed full of events, like the city’s ArtWalk, held for the past 37 years. Organized by the Pend Oreille Arts Council, the juried tour showcases local artists’ work at 27 businesses and galleries throughout the downtown core. Artwork is displayed through Sept. 12.; event brochures are at host venues. — MADISON BENNETT

KPBX’s family concert series offers an exploration of new sounds to open up the ears and minds of children and their parents. These free concerts, held throughout the year, always bring one musical genre to the forefront. This time around, it’s the traditional music of Romania, Bulgaria and Macedonia as performed by the local Vagabonds Balkan Brass Band, fronted by 2014 Lewis and Clark graduate Gabriel Soileau, an accordion virtuoso who recently won the Music Teachers National Association Senior Composition Competition. — LAURA JOHNSON


JOIN US JUNE 21ST AS WE CELEBRATE

BEER BIKES AND BREWS

Pump up your bike tires, grab some friends, and get ready for an afternoon of local beer. Departing from Ramblin’ Road Craft Brewery, the Lands Council’s 4th Annual Brews Cruise first stops at Perry Street Brewery for food trucks and a dollar off your first beer, followed by a stopover at the Saranac Rooftop for an all-day happy hour. The bike crawl wraps up back at Ramblin’ Road with more food trucks, live music, and beer. The afternoon of bikes and beer supports the Lands Council’s mission of preserving the forests, water, and wildlife of the Inland Northwest. A Brews Cruise bandanna and discount drink tickets are included with event registration. — FRANNY WRIGHT

CUSTOMER

APPRECIATION DAY SPECIALS ALL DAY LONG!

4th Annual Brews Cruise • Sun, June 22, at 11:30 am • $20/members; $25/ nonmembers • Ramblin’ Road Craft Brewery • 730 N. Columbus • landscouncil.org/events • 209-2851

SATURDAY JUNE 21ST ONLY!

! S E Z I PR

SPORTS THE BOYS ARE BACK

With the World Cup officially underway and the return of the Spokane Shadow men’s team for the first time in nine years, it’s all about soccer this month. The original Spokane Shadow played from 1996-2005 as part of the United Soccer Leagues; the team has joined the Washington-based Evergreen Premier League for the 2014 season. Everything about the team is new, from the location of the field to their jerseys, and their roster boasts many college and past high school students from the local area. There’s only one home game in the entire month of June, so don’t miss the team’s matchup against South Sound. If June doesn’t quite satisfy your soccer love, the Shadow’s remaining home games are July 6, 19 and 20. — JENNA MULLIGAN Spokane Shadow • Sat, June 21, at 7 pm • $6/adults, $4/youth • Spokane Falls Community College • 3410 W. Fort George Wright Dr. • spokanesc.org • 850-7787

EVENTS | CALENDAR

BENEFIT

NO-LI CHARITY OF THE MONTH The brewery is contributing $2 for every flight of craft beer purchased in the month of June to SpokAnimal. No-Li Brewhouse, 1003 E. Trent Ave. nolibrewhouse.com (242-2739) BOOK & BAKE SALE Hundreds of books ($1 or less) for sale, along with baked goods, to benefit education and leadership for Guatemalan women. June 20-21, Fri from 12-6 pm, Sun from 9 am-2 pm. Bethany Presbyterian Church, 2607 S. Ray. (953-8249) BUFFALO SOLDIERS MOTORCYCLE CELEBRATION The local motorcycle club hosts its annual celebration, with donations/proceeds going toward

serving Thanksgiving Dinner to Spokane families. Public is welcome. June 21, 8 pm-2 am. $10. Black Diamond, 9614 E. Sprague. (891-8357) AN EVENING IN TUSCANY A gourmet dinner prepared by local chef Gina Lanza, with proceeds benefiting the YWCA’s Alternatives to Domestic Violence Safe Shelter. June 21, 6 pm. $50/ person, reservations required. Central YMCA Central, 930 N. Monroe St. ymcaspokane.org (863-2882) HONOR FLIGHT BENEFIT CARSHOW Proceeds benefit the Inland Northwest Honor Flight, with prizes for best in show, most original and crowd favorite. Also includes food by Longhorn Barbecue. June 21, 9 am-4 pm. $10/car. Albertson’s at Regal and 57th. tinyurl. com/lca9pcp (455-4442)

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JUNE 19, 2014 INLANDER 55


RELATIONSHIPS

Advice Goddess BRIDLE PARTY

AMY ALKON

I’m going to a friend’s bachelor party in Vegas, which includes a strip club visit. My girlfriend said I have to sit that out. She believes going could lead me to cheat on her. I assured her that I have no intention of cheating — ever — and strippers have no interest in me anyway. Well, she’s adamant. I caved, agreeing to skip the strip club, but my friends’ teasing will be merciless. What if I just go and fib to my girlfriend to keep everyone happy? —Restricted

Unless your girlfriend’s name is Moses and she’s just come back from a mountaintop chat with God, she doesn’t get to hand down commandments: “You look at some other woman’s woohoobies and I’ll ask The Big Guy to smite you.” Regarding your caving to her demand, you should un-cave; go to that club with your friends. Not secretly. Openly. In other words, tell her you’re doing it. Because an adult shouldn’t get to control another adult’s behavior, and being in a relationship doesn’t change that. Also, allowing her to give you orders sets a really bad precedent. (What will she object you out of doing next? And how soon before she fits you for a leash and a bark collar?) A bachelor party is a male friendship ritual. While women tend to share their feelings Oprah’s couch-style, men often bond through drinking, ribbing, and humiliation, like forcing their soon-to-be-married buddy to get onstage on his hands and knees to be spanked by the stripper. Your girlfriend seems to have given no thought to the social repercussions of your telling the guys your governess is making you stay back in your hotel room and watch a movie. (Would “Fried Green Tomatoes” work for her or would she prefer you watch something on the Lifetime channel?) And sure, sex for pay is easily findable in Vegas. However, a typical bachelor party visit to a Vegas strip club takes place not at some seedy, out-of-the way joint where anything goes but at a ginormous corporate warehouse of stripping where some 6’8” genetic experiment of a man makes sure no male paws wander anywhere on the dancer they aren’t supposed to. The strippers at these places can make 100K a year just dancing, and they aren’t looking to the crowd for sex or boyfriends. (Their primary job isn’t even dancing but stripping men of their money.) You could have reassured her about all of this if you each hadn’t taken the emotionally easy way out. Instead of talking about her fears, she went all ayatollah on you, and instead of standing up for yourself, you figured you’d just lie to her. Problemavoiding — rather than laying out your feelings and problem-solving — tends to bode poorly for a relationship’s survival. Backtrack and try a little adult conversation. You just might convince her that looking isn’t the gateway drug to cheating — much like ogling a Porsche doesn’t lead to grand theft auto. And when you leave for the weekend, she might be more likely to say, “Bye, have a ball” than “Bye, I have your balls.”

JUNE WETTING

My fiancee and I are getting married in Hawaii. She planned to have photos shot of us afterward, kissing in the ocean in our formalwear. I’m fine with this, but her dad is absolutely irate. We don’t want kids, so there won’t be any daughter to pass her dress to. Then again, her dad paid almost $3,000 for it, so I get where he’s coming from. —Middleman There’s her father growling, “Why not just flush my money down the toilet?” (Best that she not answer that with, “I actually had my heart set on taking it out to the ocean and drowning it.”) Your fiancee is looking to get in on a trend called “trash the dress,” in which the bride gets photographed, post-wedding, destroying her dress while running through muddy woods, playing paintball, frolicking in the city dump, or throwing herself in the ocean. In concept, I love the “elegance goes for a muddy stroll” photos. However, I think this trend is pretty horrible, even when the bride — rather than the National Bank of Dad — has paid for her dress and is thus entitled to do whatever she wants with it. Maybe a far more wonderful final photo in your wedding album would be one of another bride — one who can’t afford a dress or much of a dress — walking down the aisle in your wife-to-be’s $3,000 gown. You’d be kicking off your marriage with an act of kindness, and she could still do the shot in the ocean — say, in a $35 sundress — or perhaps on the beach, dancing around the fire you light to burn all of your wedding gifts. n ©2013, Amy Alkon, all rights reserved. • Got a problem? Write Amy Alkon, 171 Pier Ave, #280, Santa Monica, CA 90405 or email AdviceAmy@aol.com (www.advicegoddess.com)

56 INLANDER JUNE 19, 2014

EVENTS | CALENDAR HONOR FLIGHT FUNDRAISER CAR SHOW 2nd annual event, open to all makes/models with all donations helping send local veterans to Washington DC to see the memorials built in honor of their service and sacrifices. June 21, 10 am-4 pm. Free, donations accepted. Egg It On, 16208 E. Indiana. (926-2294) PAMPURRRED PETS 10 YEAR CELEBRATION Events include a Panhandle Animal Shelter fundraiser and pet adoptions, raffles, door prizes, face painting, barbecue, and drinks. Proceeds benefit the PAS. June 21, 11 am-4 pm. Pampurrred Pets, 210 N. Triangle Dr, Ponderay. (208-263-0777) STILLETO SPRINT A one-block, highheeled sprint to bring attention to Spokane’s domestic violence rate, and to raise funds for the Women’s Healing Empowerment Network and the YWCA of Spokane. June 21, 10 am. $10. River Park Square, 808 W. Main. riverparksquare.com (624-3945) LAKES TO MOUNTAINS BENEFIT RIDE Benefit motorcycle ride with proceeds supporting UGM of CdA, offering sponsors, raffle prizes, a barbecue and more. Registration required. June 22, 9 am-4 pm. $20 donation ($10 per passenger). Coeur d’Alene. cyclefish.com/ event/26041 (208-664-8032) LANDS COUNCIL BREWS CRUISE 4th annual bike pub crawl fundraiser to local breweries. June 22, 11:30 am. $20/ member, $25/non-member. Starts at Ramblin’ Road Craft Brewery, 730 N. Columbus. landscouncil.org (995-3901) MAD HATTER TEA The annual fundraiser includes an afternoon of tea, refreshments and music, benefiting the Franciscan Place at St. Joseph Family Center. Ages 21+. June 22, 1-4:30 pm. $50-$75/person. St. Joseph’s Family Center, 1016 N. Superior. sjfconline.org SAVE THE TA-TAS A fundraiser to benefit the Susan G. Komen 3-Day walk, with an auction, live music, a beer garden, barbecue, games and more. June 22, 3-7 pm. Curley’s, 26433 W. Hwy. 53. curleys.biz (208-755-3053) CRUDE AWAKENING OIL TRAIN TOUR An evening of live music and beer on the Saranac Rooftop, with a performance by Dana Lyons and a presentation by Matt Krogh of ForestEthics, to raise awareness about the proposal to increase the number of trains carrying explosive oil throughout the Pacific Northwest. June 25, 7 pm. $10. Saranac Public House, 21 W. Main Ave. tinyurl. com/kk5kol4 (990-4095)

COMEDY

STAND-UP COMEDY OPEN MIC Local comedians; see weekly schedule online. Thursdays at 8 pm. Free. Uncle D’s, 2721 N. Market St. bluznews.com (483-7300) EXPEDITION A fast-paced improvised comedy show, rated for all ages. Fridays all summer, June 6-Aug. 29, at 8 pm (no show July 4). $7. Blue Door Theatre, 815 W. Garland Ave. (747-7045) OPEN MIC COMEDY Live stand-up comedy, open to newcomers and experienced comedians. Fridays at 8 pm. Ages 21+. Free. Red Dragon, 1406 W. Third Ave. (475-6209) CAGE MATCH A team vs. team local comedy championship event, as voted by the audience. June 21 and 28 (finals), at 9 pm. $7, reservations recommended. Blue Door Theatre, 815 W. Garland Ave. bluedoortheatre.com (747-7045) IMPROV COMEDY NIGHT Live comedy

show by members of Lilac City Improv Troupe. Shows offered at 6 pm and 8:30 pm. June 21. $20. Nectar Tasting Room, 120 N. Stevens. tinyurl.com/mayokpc OPEN MIC COMEDY Wednesdays (moved from Fri) at 8 pm. Ages 21+. Free. Brooklyn Deli, 122 S. Monroe. (835-4177)

COMMUNITY

HOPE IN HARD TIMES An exhibit on how the Great Depression of the 1930s affected Washington state residents, featuring artifacts, personal accounts, events and programming. Through June 30, open daily during regular library hours. Free. North Spokane Library, 44 E. Hawthorne Rd. scld.org/ hope-in-hard-times (893-8350) SUMMER SOLSTICE FUN RUN The Children’s Tumor Foundation, Fleet Feet and Spokane Swifts running team host a 10K fundraiser run along the Centennial Trail, with all proceeds benefiting the Children’s Tumor Foundation. Also includes a quarter-mile kids run ($15). June 20, 7 pm. $25-$35. Starts in Riverfront Park. ctf.kintera.org BAND TOGETHER FOR THE ANIMALS SCRAPS dedicates its new regional animal facility with a celebration hosting all area rescue groups and animal welfare agencies. Leash Cutting at 9:45 am, followed by tours, shelter information and pet-related seminars, door prizes, cake and giveaways. June 21, 9:45 am-2 pm. Free. SCRAPS Regional Animal Shelter, 6815 E. Trent. spokanecounty. org/scraps (477-2984) SPOKANE FOLKLORE CONTRA DANCE A “Lady of the Lake” kickoff dance, feat. Elixir playing traditional Irish, French Canadian, and New England tunes and Nils Fredland calling. Potluck at the break, tickets at the door. June 21, 7-10 pm. $12$15. St. John the Baptist Orthodox Church, 4718 E. Horsehaven Ave. (747-2640) SPOKANE IN BLOOM GARDEN TOUR The Inland Empire Gardeners hosts its 14th annual local garden tour “How Green is my Valley,” featuring private gardens in the Spokane Valley area, also featuring live music, art, local vendors a barbecue lunch buffet and more. June 21, 10 am-5 pm. $12. tieg.org (535-8434) HILLYARD APPRECIATION DAY CAR SHOW The Historic Hillyard Merchants Committee hosts its annual Hillyard Customer Appreciation Day Car Show, with food, local vendors, music by Johnny and the Moondogs, and more. June 22, 9 am-4 pm. Free. Hillyard Business District, east Spokane. (475-3318) BROWNS PARK PUBLIC MEETING The public is invited to share comments on the proposed Browns Park Master Plan during the weekly city council meeting. June 24, 6 pm. Spokane Valley City Hall, 11707 E. Sprague. (720-5400) CDA 2030 CELEBRATION Community members have been working the past year to create a vision for CdA’s future, and to celebrate their progress hosts “Live After Five” with free popcorn and cupcakes, and the CDA 2030 Vision Booklets, with live music by the Donnie Emerson and Nancy Sophia Band. June 25, 5-8 pm. Free. Downtown Coeur d’Alene. cda2030.org (208-415-0112) COMMUNITY FAREWELL FOR EWU PRES. DR. RODOLFO AREVELO The University invites the community to celebrate the contributions of Dr. Rodolfo Arévalo, EWU’s 25th president, as he embarks on a new chapter of his life. June 25, 4-6 pm. Free and open to the public. Spokane Club, 1002 W. Riverside

Ave. ewu.edu (838-2310)

FESTIVAL

RIVERSTONE STREET FAIR Coeur d’Alene’s Riverstone Village hosts a weekly outdoor market and street fair, hosting 200+ vendors of arts and crafts, food, live music, a farmers market and more. Thursdays from 4-9 pm through Aug. 28. Free. riverstonestreetfair.com SLIPPERY GULCH CELEBRATION Annual community celebration; events include a fishing derby, teen and adult dances, grand parade, games and activities, fun run, vendors, fireworks display and a golf scramble. June 19-21. Free. Tekoa. tekoawa.com (284-5810) WALLACE GYRO DAYS & LEAD CREEK DERBY The annual community festival starts June 19 with a downtown carnival (4 pm) and continues through June 21, which features the Lead Creek Derby, a tradition now in its 73rd year, of dropping a large colored leather ball in the CdA River for the 7-mile journey from Mullan to Wallace for the Lead Creek Derby. Wallace, Idaho. wallace-id.com/gyrodays BAZAAR A juried art show presented by Terrain, featuring 50+ vendors of handmade items, all priced at or under $100, including: original paintings, prints, photography, paper goods, jewelry, fashion, toys and more. Also includes live music, food trucks, beer garden, kids activities and more. June 21, 11 am-10 pm. Free. Downtown Spokane, on Wall between Main and Riverside. tinyurl.com/l63wzhh LACROSSE FARMER’S FESTIVAL Oldfashioned community celebration with a parade, food, live entertainment, barbecue, vendors, kids games, art exhibit and free swimming at the town pool. June 21. LaCrosse, Wash. lacrossewa.us (549-3543) MEDICAL LAKE FOUNDER’S DAY The annual community celebration includes a parade, vintage fair, live music, a triathlon, softball and basketball tourneys, adoptable pets, a car and motorcycle show, craft fair and more. June 21. facebook.com/MedicalLakeFoundersDay REMEMBERING EXPO CELEBRATION Celebrating Expo’s 40th anniversary, the community event includes guided tours leaving the clocktower every hour, 74-cent hotdogs, special screenings at the IMAX, a Garbage Goat bday party, live music and more. June 21, 10 am-8 pm. Free. Riverfront Park. spokaneriverfrontpark.com (625-6601) STRAWBERRY FESTIVAL VINTAGE & CRAFT MARKET Local marketplace hosting dozens of vendors, and homemade strawberry shortcake and strawberry lemonade. Proceeds benefit the Grange restoration project. June 21, 10 am-5 pm. Free admission. Moran Prairie Grange, 6006 S. Palouse Hwy. tinyurl.com/ kk8xl85 (951-0523) SUMMER SOLSTICE FESTIVAL Live music by Maxie Ray Mills (6-8 pm) and Spare Parts (8-10 pm), food and drink. June 21. Free admission. Mezzo Pazzo Wine Bar, 2718 E. 57th. (863-9313)

FILM

THE CROODS Screening as part of the theater’s Summer Family Movies series. (Rated PG) June 16-20, daily at 9:30 am. $1. Garland Theater, 924 W. Garland Ave. garlandtheater.com (327-1050) THE GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL Screening as part of the Global Cin-


ema Cafe Series. June 19-21 at 7:30 pm. Panida Theater, 300 N. First, Sandpoint. panida.org (208-263-9191) KIDS’ SUMMER MOVIES The Kenworthy hosts summer movie screenings every Wed/Thur at 1 pm. $3/film; $20/summer pass. The Kenworthy, 508 S. Main, Moscow. kenworthy.org (208-882-4127) MOMENTA A film intended to educate, raise awareness, and activate communities to stop all proposed coal exports in the Pacific Northwest. Screening is followed by a presentation by Lands Council Board member, Dr. Robert Truckner, on health issues related to coal trains. June 19, 7 pm. Bing Crosby Theater, 901 W. Sprague. landscouncil.org KLINK’S RESORT SUMMER SHORTS Create a short film at the lake the weekend of June 20-22; top entries in the annual competition are screened Aug. 23. Klink’s on the Lake, 18617 Williams Lake Rd. facebook.com/TheKlinksResortSummerShort (235-2391) SANDPOINT FILM FESTIVAL BENEFIT Screening of the documentary films “Kifaru” and “Defying Extinction” with proceeds benefiting the 5th annual Sandpoint Film Festival. Both films are about the fragile world of wild animals. June 21, 2 pm. $10. Panida Theater, 300 N. First Ave. sandpointfilmfestival.com (208-290-0597) SWIM AND A MOVIE: FROZEN The Spokane County aquatic centers (North and South) hosts a 2-hour swim followed by a family-friendly film screening at dusk. June 21, 6 pm. $2-$4. spokanecounty.org/parks DOLLAR SUMMER MOVIES Screening sponsored by the Kootenai Alliance for Children and Families. June 24-25, 10 am. $1. Regal Cinemas Riverstone Stadium 14, 2416 Old Mill Loop. (800-326-3264) tHE HUNGER GAMES: CATCHING FIRE Outdoor showing on the big screen, with pre-film performance by Spokane Aerial Performance Arts, movie trivia and local food trucks. June 25, 7-10 pm. $5. Riverfront Park. (625-6601)

Food & Drink

RAWLICIOUS PIZZA PARTY Plant-based food specialist Terri Wood demonstrates how to make raw pizza with all the toppings. June 19, 6-8 pm. $15/person, reservations required. Pilgrim’s Market, 1316 N. Fourth, CdA. (208-676-9730) SUNSET DINNER CRUISE Post Falls’ Selkirk Abbey Brewery is on board serving Belgian-inspired brews. June 19, 7:309:30 pm. $51.75. Coeur d’Alene Resort, 115 S. 2nd Ave. (208-765-4000 x 21) ARTISAN PIZZA Part of INCA’s “Summer Date Night Series,” a class on making artisan pizzas from start to finish using local farmers market produce. June 20. $75/ pair. Inland Northwest Culinary Academy (INCA), 1810 N. Greene St. (533-8141) CONNOISSEUR’S CLUB BEER DINNER A five-course, gourmet dinner with each course paired with a beer from Mac & Jack’s Brewing Co., of Redmond, Wash. June 20, 6-10 pm. $55/person. Lincoln Center, 1316 N. Lincoln St. thelincolncenterspokane.com (327-8000) ITALIAN WINE ADVENTURE Sample the newest wines from Italy’s wine regions, including Tuscany, Piemonte, Abruzzo, Sicily and more. June 20, 7 pm. $20, reservations required. Rocket Market, 726 E. 43rd Ave. (343-2253) THINK BUTTERCREAM A beginning class on buttercream sculpting, with chef Becky Wortman. June 20, 6-8 pm.

$49. Inland Northwest Culinary Academy (INCA), 1810 N. Greene St. (533-8141) VINO WINE TASTING Fri, June 20 highlights Trevari Cellars’ handcrafted sparkling wines, from 3-6:30 pm. Sat, June 21 tasting features wines from Southern France, from 2-4:30 pm. $10/tasting. Vino!, 222 S. Washington St. (838-1229) A NIGHT WITH WINE & BOVINE Wine and beer tasting in the barn amongst Lowline Angus cattle with a live band, silent auctions, raffles, beef sliders, appetizers, commemorative wine glass and more. Benefits the nonprofit Western States Lowline Association. June 21, 7-10 pm. $25/advance; $30/door. Idaho Lowline Cattle Co., 2755 E. Spring Rock Ln., Hayden. westernstateslowline.com (208215-4460) KNOW YOUR FOOD An afternoon at the Wilke Farm learning about local agriculture, with professionals and WSU faculty addressing what GMO’s are and how they’re used, how agriculture impacts the Wash. state economy, how growers safely use pesticides, and more. Wilke Farm is located just east of Davenport, at 39440 St. Rt. 2 East. June 21, 11:30 am3:30 pm. $12/person; $20/couple, reservations requested. tinyurl.com/pght8vk (509-659-3212) VEGFEST SPOKANE First annual healthy living expo featuring vendors, food samples, cooking demos and speakers, hosted by the Inland Northwest Vegan Society. June 21, 12-6 pm. Free. Spokane Community College, 1810 N. Greene St. inveg.org (607-0409) CDA CELLARS’ GARDEN PARTY Annual summer event offering wine tasting, appetizers, live music and garden tours. June 22, 3-6 pm. Gates Mountain Garden, 3205 Crestwood Ct. (208-664-2336) CANNING BASICS: GETTING STARTED Food safety expert Anna Kestell covers what equipment you need, how to do it safely and what cans well. June 24, 6:30 pm. Free. East Side Library, 524 S. Stone St. (444-5375) SLIDERS & GROWLERS Admission includes a flight of six No-Li craft beers and three pub sliders with a portion of the proceeds going to SpokAnimal. June 24, 5:30-8 pm. $20. No-Li Brewhouse, 1003 E. Trent. spokanimal.org (242-2739) NEIGHBORHOOD BARBECUE SERIES Central Lutheran Church hosts weekly neighborhood barbecues every Wednesday at 6 pm, June 25-Aug. 27. Also includes games for all ages after the meal and the chance to get to know your neighbors. Free. Central Lutheran Church, 512 S. Bernard St. (624-9233) SUMMER SAMPLER Sandpoint’s annual outdoor food festival offers samples from the city’s top restaurants, along with cook-offs, a beer/wine garden and live music. Samples priced $3-$8. June 26, 5-8 pm. Farmin Park. sandpointchamber. org (800-800-2106)

Music

MERLE HAGGARD Concert by the country music legend. June 19, 7:30 pm. $55$95. Northern Quest Casino, 100 N. Hayford Rd. northernquest.com (481-6700) KPBX KIDS’ CONCERT: VAGABONDS BALKAN BRASS BAND Traditional music of Romania, Bulgaria, and Macedonia, headed by award-winning Lewis & Clark HS senior Gabriel Soileau and hosted by Verne Windham. June 20, 12-1 pm. Free. Bing Crosby Theater, 901 W. Sprague Ave. kpbx.org (227-7404) FLASHBACK MUSIC REVUE A 60s and

70s family music event, with a costume contest, vintage car show, art displays and interactive music activities. June 21, 6-8:30 pm. Free. Ron’s Drive-In, 12502 E. Sprague. (326-5963) pLAZA CONCERT SERIES FEAT. ISAAC PASTOR-CHERMAk The Plaza opens to the public at 5:30 pm with beer, wine and other beverages available. June 23-24, music starts at 6:30 pm. Free. 1912 Center, 412 E. Third, Moscow. 1912center.org (208-669-2249)

Sports & Outdoors

BEST IN THE NORTHWEST YOUTH BASEBALL INVITATIONAL The second annual tournament, hosted by the Spokane Indians Youth Baseball. June 20-22. Dwight Merkel Sports Complex, 5701 N. Assembly St. spokaneindiansyouthbaseball.org OLYMPIC DAY A celebration for youth around the world to observe the Olympic values of fair play, perseverance, respect and sportsmanship. June 20, 5-8 pm. Free. BoxFit, 3117 N. Division. boxfitspokane.com (703-7183) SPOKANE SHOCK VS. SAN ANTONIo Arena football game. June 20, 7 pm. $14$47. Spokane Arena, 720 W. Mallon Ave. spokaneshock.com (279-7000) 18TH GIRLS’ ALL-STATE BASKETBALL SHOWCASE Wash. and N. Idaho girls high school basketball tournament open to teams from 3A, 2A, 1A and B class schools, with teams divided between west and east. June 21. $3-$5. HUB Sports Center, 19619 E. Cataldo Ave. hubsportscenter.org (340-4153) BEGINNING WHITEWATER KAYAKING Learn the basics including equipment, safety, basic strokes, river features, eddy turns, ferrying and more. Equipment available if necessary. June 21-22. $55. Boulder Beach, 5700 E. Upriver Dr. sckc. ws (209-3066) CHAFE150 A timed, 1-day 150-, 80- or 30-mile bike ride starting and ending at Lake Pend Oreille. Hosted by the Sandpoint Rotary Club; proceeds benefit local students with autism. $75 + pledge committments June 21. chafe150.org PIG PEN MUD RUN Obstacle course fun run, with proceeds benefiting the Idaho Special Olympics. June 21, 11 am-1 pm. $20. Kootenai County Fairgrounds, 4056 N. Government Way. (208-765-4969) SPOKANE INDIANS VS. BOISE HAWKS Games held daily June 21-25, Sat and Mon-Wed at 6:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. $5$11/single game. Avista Stadium, 602 N. Havana. spokaneindians.com (535-2922) SPOKANE SHADOW The Evergreen Premier League men’s soccer team vs. the West Sound. June 21, 7 pm. $4/youth, $6/ adults. SFCC, 3410 W. Fort George Wright Dr. spokanesc.org (850-7787) SPRINT BOAT RACES Annual races at Webb’s Slough in St. John, Wash, in a natural amphitheater on the Palouse and featuring on-site camping, grass-covered terraces and local food/drink vendors. June 21 and Aug. 23, events start at 9 am. $15-$35. webbsslough.com (648-3393) WOMEN LEARN TO FLY FISH An event for women and girls at a private, troutstocked lake 10 min. from CdA. June 21, 9 am-7 pm. $50. Coeur d’Alene. tinyurl. com/flyfishingWomen (532-0522) CHASE STRIDES FOR SNAp A timed 5K run to benefit SNAP, with proceeds supporting 30+ programs to help lowincome residents achieve stability and

self-reliance. June 22, 10 am-noon. $10 or $20/withT-shirt. Plantes Ferry Sports Complex, 12308 E. Upriver Dr. spokanecounty.org (456-7111, x 242) FIFA WORLD CUP: USA VS. PORTUGAL See Dempsey and Donovan lead the USA soccer team against Renaldo and the #5 ranked soccer team in the world, Portugal, as they battle it out to qualify to the next round of the World Cup 2014. June 22, 3 pm. $3-$5. Bing Crosby Theater, 901 W. Sprague Ave. (227-7404) DOG FIRST AID Dr. Greg Benoit leads a class on how to care for your “best friend” in the outdoors. Please do not bring dogs to this event. June 25, 7 pm. Free. REI, 1125 N. Monroe St. (328-9900)

Theater

THE FOREIGNER Comedy/farce. Through June 28, Wed-Sun; show times vary. $12$28. Interplayers Theatre, 174 S. Howard St. interplayerstheatre.org (455-7529) GUYS & DOLLS Classic musical comedy. June 6-28, Thur-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. $14-$20. Lake City Playhouse, 1320 E. Garden Ave. (208-667-1323) MARY MARY The celebrated romantic comedy is presented by Sandpoint Onstage. June 20-21 and 27-28 at 7:30 pm and Sat, June 21 at 2 pm. Heartwood Center, 615 S. Oak St. sandpointonstage.com PIRATES OF PENZANCE A comedic operetta presented in a Victorian-era, melodramatic style. Through June 29, Fri-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 3 pm. $5-$12. Pend Oreille Playhouse, 240 N. Union Ave. pendoreilleplayers.org (447-9900) IGNITE! THEATRE OPEN HOUSE The board of Ignite! host a volunteer appreciation picnic, season announcement, and tours of the theatre, followed by an annual meeting. June 21, 1 pm. Free. Ignite Community Theatre, 10814 E. Broadway Ave. ignitetheatre.org (795-0004)

Visual Arts

GARBAGE SALE: AUSTIN STIEGEMEIER Showcasing the work of the Program Manager for Spokane Arts Fund and a WSU MFA graduate. On display through June 28. Tinman Gallery, 811 W. Garland Ave. tinmanartworks.com (325-1500) TOM HANSON & DEBBIE HUGHBANKS The gallery showcases new original paintings and prints by Tom Hanson and scratchboard works and pastels by Debbie Hughbanks. Through July 1. Free. Pacific Flyway Gallery, 409 S. Dishman Mica Rd. (747-0812) ECLECTIC COLLECTION ARTS & CRAFTS SHOW The fourth annual event features seven artists and crafters, selling jewelry, paintings, tole-painted decor, handcrafted soaps, beauty supplies, candles, painted china, baby booties, scarves and more. June 21, 10 am-5 pm. Private residence at 2720 E. Bruce, Spokane. (325-4809) PALOUSE ART WALK The annual arts festival takes place throughout the small town. June 20-22. Palouse, Wash. visitpalouse.com (509-878-1701) 8TH ANNUAL FLORIADE Annual exhibits, tour and luncheon celebrating the beauty of art in nature. June 21, 11 am-3 pm. Bank Left Gallery, 100 S. Bridge St, Palouse. bankleftgallery.com (878-1800) ART ON THE BLACK TOP An outdoor local artist showcase featuring 15 artists working in painting, photography, metalwork, jewelry, recycled art, woodworking, paper arts and more. June 21-22 from 10 am-6 pm. 29th Avenue Artworks, 3128 E.

29th. tinyurl.com/p9bmpe8 (534-7959) DAHMEN BARN FUNDRAISING TEA The Palouse arts group hosts its annual fundraiser tea, this year themed after the PBS show “Downton Abbey.” Events include a vintage clothing fashion show, live/silent auctions and English-inspired refreshments. June 21, 11 am-1:30 pm. $20, reservations required. Dahmen Barn, 419 N. Park Way. (229-3414) INTRO TO SUMI-E Spokane artist Keiko Von Holt leads a Sumi-E (Japanese brush painting) workshop. June 21, 9 am-3 pm. $60/person, registration required. Japanese Cultural Center, 4000 W. Randolph Rd. mfwi.edu/JCC (328-2971 x. 233) MINIATURE SHOW & SALE Featuring miniature-sized pieces by eight local acrylic artists. June 21, 10 am-4 pm. Free. Studio 9, 55 N. Cedar. (208-699-9805) SANDPOINT ARTWALK 27 Sandpoint businesses and galleries host juried art exhibits for the 37th annual ArtWalk showcase throughout the summer tourist season, from June 20-Sept. 12. ArtWalk reception June 20 from 5:30-8:30 pm. See website for list of participating venues’ hours and featured artists. Free. artsinsandpoint.org (208-263-6139) POCKET SKETCHING WORKSHOP Art workshop teaching how to sketch small images; ideal for traveling. June 24-26, from 10 am-4:30 pm. $250. Spokane Art Supply, 1303 N. Monroe St. pocketsketching.com (327-6628)

Words

MOLLY WIZENBERG The author of “A Homemade Life” and the “Orangette” blog reads from and signs copies of her new memoir “Delancy: A Man, a Woman, a Restaurant, a Marriage.” (Pre-signing dinner $40, reservations required.) June 24, 7 pm. Free. Auntie’s, 402 W. Main Ave. auntiesbooks.com (838-0206) BROKEN MIC Spokane Poetry Slam’s weekly open mic reading series, open to all readers and all-ages. Wednesdays at 6:30 pm. Free. Neato Burrito, 827 W. First. spokanepoetryslam.org (847-1234) CREATIVE FICTION FOR EMERGING WRITERS A four-part series on creative writing, focusing on writing prompts and critiques/discussions in an encouraging atmosphere. Meets June 25 and July 9, 23, at 6 pm. Free. Hayden Library, 8385 N. Government Way. (208-772-5612)

Etc.

WELLNESS & BEAUTY EXPO The third annual expo hosts health/beauty vendors, free health checks, nonprofit outreach booths, fashion show, charity auction and kids events. June 20-21. Fri from 5-9 ($30) and Sat from 10 am-5 pm ($10). Spokane Fair & Expo Center, 404 N. Havana. wellnessandbeautyexpo.com CHECKERBOARD GHOST TOURS Bus tour of Spokane’s East Side ghosts and serial killer trails. June 23, 6 pm. $12. Checkerboard Bar, 1716 E. Sprague Ave. tinyurl.com/m7r25f4 (535-4007) JUNK FROM MY TRUNK Annual vintage, antique, salvaged, handmade vendor market and vintage trailer show. June 21, 10 am-4 pm. $2. Foxwood Tea House, 125 Foxwood Dr., Newport. foxwoodhouse. net (509-589-0097) SPOKANE YOUTH BALLET Preseting the season finale “Hansel and Gretel and Other Eclectic Dances.” June 21, 7 pm. $12-$23. Martin Woldson Theater at The Fox, 1001 W. Sprague. (624-1200) n

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DOWN 1. Pea holders 2. Peter Fonda title character who says “The bees and I have an understanding” 3. More than interesting 4. Bolivian president Morales 5. She plays Watson on TV’s “Elementary” 6. China’s Sun ____-sen 7. “____ is human ...” 8. Prop for Picasso 9. OBs, e.g. 10. George H.W. Bush’s chief of staff John 11. Rehab candidate 12. Gobi, e.g. 15. Like a big grin 17. Prefix with conservative or liberal

21. “Political Discourses” author David 23. Neighbor of Braz. 24. Ming who played for the Shanghai Sharks 25. Cousin of Inc.

33. Vietnam War’s ____ offensive 36. As expressly said 37. Charged particle THIS WEEK’S 38. “CSI” evidence, often ANSWERS ON 39. Villain’s laugh 40. Yale students, informally I SAW YOUS 41. Alphabet string 42. Baseballer with a “W” on his cap 43. Directional suffix 44. Golfer Michelle who turned pro at age 15 45. John Denver’s “____ Song” 46. It may be glass or cellophane 47. 1953 film “____ 17” 50. Singer of the #1 hit “Somebody That I Used to Know” 51. Sources of woe 52. Beehive State native 56. Track ____ “UTNE” 57. Subject of Weird Al Yankovic’s “The White Stuff” 26. Rhone feeder 59. It appears at the top of a page 27. Tee sizes, on signs 60. Genre for Eazy-E and Heavy D 28. Kung ____ chicken 61. Print option: Abbr. 31. Haw’s partner 32. Three-time Burmese prime minister 62. “Lord,” in Turkish

JUNE 19, 2014 INLANDER 59


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60 INLANDER JUNE 19, 2014

I Saw You

I Saw You

I Saw You

Cheers

Saw You In My Dreams A haiku for the unequivocally beautiful – Girl with the Avocado Tattoo. (For the literary peoples out there, you may juxtapose the poem with the Girl) Short poems are stu-Pid, but you are not. Sorry Japan for bad Haiku. You may now refer to me by my pseudonym: Saint Arbux. TTFN. Ta-ta for now.

Stranded Redhead Your car was broke down in the parking lot behind Chili’s. I was the guy checking the parking lot. Someone was already helping you or I would have stopped to offer my assistance. I thought you were absolutely gorgeous. Let’s get a drink sometime?

and kept my fingers crossed that you would buy me a train. Turns out you didn’t buy me a train. I saw you at the plane show. We watched the planes. I saw you at Newman Lake pretending to fish. It’s okay I’ll never tell my dad or he would disown me. Seriously. Good news, your mom likes me. Yeah, we drank a fifth of Fireball and talked. Be my boyfriend, please. I’m not desperate I swear. I’ve just been following you around for four months now so I feel like we should date. Be my boyfriend. Email “yes” to notevendesperate@gmail.com.

You turned a grave situation to a lovely reminder that when it comes to strange strangers, there are some that are kinder! Silver Star Automotive must have very good luck to have great employees who give help to those that are stuck.

Elkfest Elkfest/Minus the Bear. The left side of the stage was crazy loud on Sunday night. Just as I was about to step further back into the crowd, your blue blouse with white polka dots happened to dance into my left side, convincing me to stay. Out of that whole crowd we both happened to see the bassist throw his pick just a few feet in front of us when no one else did. Reaching down a few times thinking I had found it and actually coming up with some chewing gum was discouraging. But after a few more songs and a little bit of light we managed to find it. Too bad those boys had to start kick dancing right next to us, ‘cause I didn’t see you after that. Maybe we could get together some time, borl7870@ gmail.com

Thank You. 9 Years Late On March 31, 2005, my then 23 year old son, who has mild autism, called me from his cell phone as he stood, overwhelmed and scared, on a traffic median in Sullivan Rd at the intersection with Sprague. He had made it only half way across Sullivan when the light turned red, and the evening rush hour traffic didn’t let up long enough for him to complete the crossing. I immediately started driving to rescue him, too rattled to think to call 911. But five minutes later he called again, happy and safe on a sidewalk. A stranger named Tammy had observed his plight and had retrieved him from the median and escorted him across Sullivan and then Sprague so he could reach his destination - Hastings Book Store. I have never forgotten Tammy and her kindness and have wished I had a way to find her and thank her. I’m hoping she may see this and realize how grateful I have been to her for rescuing and reassuring my son.

Northwest Seed & Pet On Thursday June 12th you were the short brunette cashier in Chuck Taylor’s at Northwest Seed and Pet on Division who sold me crickets. You were very smiley, nice, and I though you were really cute. I was too nervous to say anything then, but hopefully if you see this article I won’t be forced to try and break the in person. Let’s meet for coffee!

Girl Behind The Counter You are beautiful. I see you almost every weekday and we exchange glances and smiles as I either head up or down the escalator while you work the pizza counter at the plaza downstairs. I am pretty shy so I haven’t worked up the courage to even ask you your name, and I would really like to know your name. lol. So with that said, if you are available please e-mail me if you are interested. I usually have a

Friday the 13th We briefly met in Sacred Heart ER..... you, beautiful blonde.... me, not so handsome. I never caught your name Put a non-identifying email unfortunately. You said you have address in your message, like an addictive personality......I’m “petals327@yahoo.com” — not very addictive!!

TO CONNECT

“j.smith@comcast.net.”

Zip Trip On 3rd Ave. You were wearing pink and black Nike’s, and had the prettiest big brown eyes, with long thick hair down your back and an intoxicating glowing white smile. I had on dark jeans and a gray sweater with a tattoo on the right side of my neck. We passed each other and said “Hi” but wanted to say more before you got in your red Malibu and rode off in the rain. Lincoln Heights Hastings Saturday, June 15th. I was the old man looking for Disk 2, “Band of Brothers.” You were the young, solid-sender on slender underpinnings in shorts and a jacket with a dark, long mane. You saw me and heard me ask for the disc. Then you gave me a “thumbs-up” when I glanced at you. Sure wanted to say,”Thanks” then. I’ll say “Thanks” now. You made my day! Numerica on 29th June 6, 2014. You: beautiful lady, wearing variegated blue/white long summer dress with a knitted white top. I stood behind you at the front desk while you did some banking. A few minutes later, we said hello to one another. I’d like to say, hello again, over coffee. British or Indian Accent We’ve hung out as friends. You are a beautiful nurse with brunette hair and a great laugh. I am an engineer with a proposition. Give me two months of your time to be more than friends. If it doesn’t work before I head back east, you can go back to life as normal. All I want is a shot with you. So what do you say?

Metal band T-shirt on and a shaved head with a back pack. My e-mail is ghostfilteraaj@gmail.com. Maybe we can go for something to drink and a conversation? Airway Heights Walmart Memorial Day. We spoke in the garden department. You: 5’5’’, hazel eyes, brown hair, blue jeans. Me: 6’1”, brown eyes, brown fedora hat, tan coat, blue jeans. I asked you about the writing in your tattoo. You said it was a memorial for a friend. You let me read, gone in ‘11 (‘82-’11). Got me in my heart. I lost my best friend in ‘11. I was thinking about them on Memorial Day morning, not long before I saw you. In the end, we regret what we didn’t think to or dare to do. I ddn’t ask your name. I didn’t ask you to coffee. Attracted to you, I had to talk with you. When you smiled, I went gaga, then, stupid like men do. You’re off the charts hot! I was in a daze by now and blown out about the tattoo. Serendipity on Memorial Day. While we could have been still talking, I drifted away. I’m sad to say (regret) so, I prayed that you would somehow get this message. The universe has odd ways, so who knows? I may see you a second time around. Right? Hope so, ‘til then, may you have a beautiful day in your garden. Adventure awaits. Why not coffee, dinner, lunch or tea? Why not you? Why not me? If you get this message, that’s miracle two. Ultimatum I first saw you on the Tinder using corny lines to scam on girls. I saw you at the train show

You Saw Me RE: Winco You saw me at Winco around 8:30pm on May 20th wearing a red/black tank top and shorts playing bumper carts in the deli aisle, I applaud you memory for such skills. In light of all the chaos that has transpired like a whirlwind I was that day, perhaps you could regale me with a detail or two that you might recall of my tattoos so that you might find the “beautiful” girl who captured your attention and we see about moving the deli outside of the supermarket. Tag, you’re it Sir.

Cheers Congratulations Kelli Bug Graduation has arrived. I am so very proud of you and your determination, tenacity, fortitude, fearlessness and lets not forget, “Queen Latifesque Attitude.” Look out world.... my Bug has, “Only Just Begun.” Dad

Beats for Baby’s Cheers to everyone helping out with beats for baby’s! And big time cheers to the Checkerboard Tavern for making it all possible! No words for how awesome it all is.. but WOW comes close! Big ups checkerboard and B4B!!

Hello Batman Oh for the love of a man I cannot see or talk to at whim. Always on my mind as I go to sleep, upon awakening, and all through

Be Cheerful! ...get free sweets Submit your Cheers at inlander.com/sweet and be entered to win:1 Dozen “Cheers” Cupcake s Courtesy of

Celebrations Bakery Good Samaritan To the friendly mechanic helping a Winners drawn bi-weekly at random. woman in need: you stopped in Must be 18 or older to enter. the morning to do a good deed. You see the morning is never my favoritest hour, but when tires go flat, my mood’s especially sour.

“I Saw You” is for adults 18 or older. The Inlander reserves the right to edit or reject any advertisement at any time at its sole discretion and assumes no responsibility for the content.


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Cheers

Jeers

Jeers

the day. Long for your touch and warm kiss. Your Batgirl needs a hug. I love you Batman!

uglier, fatter. If anything, you should be lowering your standards.

cross the busy street all by herself. I stop flabbergasted that she was left behind when mom finally notices and starts screaming at her! Disgusting!! DO YOUR JOB! and when you don’t, you can’t scream at your kids for it!!

Thank You! Thank You! You’re absolutely never going to see this, but that’s okay. I just wanted to let you know how happy I am to call you my parents. How proud I am and how bittersweet this time we find ourselves in is. You and I have come such a long way in a year only to say goodbye. I’m trying to explain something inexplicable; I cannot iterate how much adoration I have for you two. It’s actually true, I’m totally going to miss you, and maybe your home cooking and laundry and cleaning services too. You guys have become my best friends when my whole life you’ve been vying not to become exactly that. You’re my source of happiness and well-being: for that I am eternally grateful. I aspire to become something you two can be proud of.. avec tout mon amour

Jeers STA Stabbing I ride the bus every day. Also I see all the kids who hang around there all day long, day in and day out. I knew something like this was going to happen or worse, like someone pulling a gun and more than one person gets hurt or killed. The STA needs to do like other cities do. If you’re not waiting for a bus, you don’t stay. But the CEO wants the plaza to be a parklike setting where everyone is comfortable. See what your parklike setting turned out to be. They need more security people. But this will probably happen again before they wake up and smell the coffee. I for one, will never use the plaza again. Life My friend told me, after her divorce, that she has raised her standards. Men now have to have a car, not take her out to Burger King, blah, blah, blah. Really!? My thought...you are getting older,

Air Conditioning Oh how I dislike places where they turn the air conditioning all the way up. So you are baking outside and when you go inside, you are freezing. Can’t win. Minimum Wage Why do these politicians want to raise the minimum wage to $15. That’s just a retarded idea, who is going to pay someone that much to flip burgers Leave the minimum wage alone! Every time the minimum wage goes up so does the price of everything, the last thing we need is a higher minimum wage. Why even have a special skill when you can make $15 an hour at McDonalds. This country is doomed, there are too many morons with no common sense running this country. Drivers My biggest pet peeve in driving is getting cut off. I’d say I probably get cut off 5 to 10 times a day. They pull out from an adjoining street when they clearly know I am too close and can clearly see that there is nobody behind me. They don’t want to wait the 2 nanoseconds it would take to allow me to pass and enter the roadway safely. Then I either get a lung full of their exhaust as they floor it so I don’t rear end them or they are on the slow train and I have to lay on the breaks to avoid rear ending them. I try as hard as I can to accept this reality every time it happens to me, but I still get a little pissed off every time it happens. Clueless People Jeers to the parents in the Northpoint shopping center 6-13-14. I was driving to Petsmart and about 2 stores north I see a dad hurrying across the road while his young daughter ran ahead of him not even noticing his other daughter had not crossed the street. She was not more then 4 and looked terrified trying to

Everyone’s Least Favorite Employee I’m sorry I guess your original jeer was too vague. No, I don’t think customers should treat employees bad, verbally or otherwise. A customer leaving a fitting room full of clothes or tossing a pair of pants on a table of folded shirts I can assure you is by no means abuse of your personage. Once again Get Over Yourself and Do Your Job. Or quit, so someone who can appreciate having a pay check can work. Also unless mopping wee off a fitting room floor is a daily event for you, and I seriously doubt that it is, you should probably approach it with a lot more grace. Accidents happen, people have young kids that don’t clearly communicate until it’s too late and after a long life not everyone’s bladder is reliable as yours. Things maybe different where you are but I can’t think of too many associates who appreciate being refered to as ‘the help’

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Maroon Pickup I found it very disturbing how the tail pipe in the bed of your truck blew its exhaust all over others as you step on the gas. You may think it’s cool, but I’m sure you wouldn’t want that blowing in your own families face. Smooth Pal Jeers to me. Yes, me. Next time there’s a slow family crowding up a whole aisle, don’t rush to silently cuss them out. Because maybe that family’s having a difficult day, and maybe after you leave the store you find them ten blocks down struggling to carry everything, breaking a milk carton along the way. Take your time, you don’t need to rush. People are enduring their own struggles, so keep to your own unless you can help ease their problems. Sincerely, me.

NOT JUST NEWS.

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JUNE 19, 2013 INLANDER 61


HELLO my name is

Lisa Waananen illustration

Something Old, Something New The most critical question facing modern brides: Are you changing your name?

I

n the past couple of months the questions about my last name have changed. For most of my life it’s been: How do you pronounce it? (WAHN-a-nin.) And where’s it from? (It’s Finnish.) Now the question — from friends, colleagues, strangers — is one without a simple answer: Are you changing it? If feminism of the past half-century has any solid, irrefutable victories, it may be the frequency with which this question is asked. A bride can now answer that question in any way she chooses. There are no assumptions. Anything goes. And even though the vast majority of women still take their husband’s names, and even though only a fraction of couples choose something that bucks tradition entirely, it’s at least one area where most people have accepted a woman’s right to choose for herself. Of course, there’s no universally perfect option: Taking your husband’s name means forgoing your family identity, and whatever reputation you may have earned with your own name. Keeping your maiden name can confuse acquaintances, offend in-laws or make things more complicated with children. Hyphenation is still an option, but it can be clunky and long. Using two names in any arrangement can quickly become cumbersome. An increasing number of women are choosing to not really choose, instead using different names for different situations. A woman may use her maiden name on her business cards, her married name on her kids’ permis-

62 INLANDER JUNE 19, 2014

By Lisa Waananen

F

or the past year or so, I’ve followed up the typical questions and pauses over my last name with a lighthearted remark: “Pretty soon I’ll be marrying a Jones, and then everyone’s life will be easier.” Recently ame traditions have changed much more slowly it hasn’t gone over as well as it used to, and I think there than the tradition of marriage itself. In the past, may be something in the imminency — “In a month I’ll it was standard for young brides to have a whole be marrying a Jones… ” — that causes even strangers to host of rituals to reinforce their changed status. They consider it something of a loss. You can’t make polite changed their hairstyles, they quit their jobs, they moved small talk about last names with someone named Jones. out of their parents’ home. In some cultures, young girls Jones is fifth on the list of most common surnames, becoming wives destroyed their playthings to symbolize according to the U.S. Census Bureau, behind Smith, the end of their childhood. Johnson, Williams and Brown. Waananen does not even Most traditions, examined honestly, reveal the past make the cut for the top 151,671, which is all names with as a harsh and unjust world we should be glad to put at least 100 people. On the question of identity, changbehind us. That’s the most compelling ing my name would not be an even trade. I would argument I’ve heard against women resent changing my name if I were forced to. But changing their names — that it’s based I’m not, and it turns out I’m pretty pleased that my Send comments to in patriarchal systems of ownership that dearest friend wants to share everything with me, editor@inlander.com. forever, including his name. should have no place in the better world we always hope is coming. But that’s also So I am changing my name. I’m also keeping the strongest argument against marriage it. This is the last time my byline will appear this itself, and our society has chosen to transform marriage particular way in print, because by next week I’ll be Lisa rather than abandon it. Love, equality and solidarity have Waananen Jones. Yes, it’s a compromise, and maybe not not always been a part of the institution of marriage, but a perfect one. But I’ve heard that’s what marriage is all they are winning, and a shared name can be a powerful about. n affirmation of these modern family values: We’re a team. lisaw@inlander.com We’re in this together.

sion slips and both on Facebook — or whatever. It may be confusing, or it may be a practical reflection of women’s various roles. The fact is, people adapt.

N

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Inlander 06/19/2014